˚ ₍ᐡ。っ ̫-。ᐡ 💭 who said i hated you?
pairing: kim seungmin x gn!reader
featuring: chan, jisung
synopsis: seungmin has dedicated much of his high school volleyball career to defeating you in the national championships, but when he watches your fall from grace, why is he... worried about you?
themes: volleyball au, high school au, fluff, angst if you really squint i guess, childhood friends to enemies to lovers
format: one shot
warnings: reader is briefly described as shorter than seungmo (sorry to all you tall folk, you already have enough rights sj,dfhkdjhf), slight swearing, injuries, generated high school names lol sorry
word count: 4k
fae's notes: c-can you tell i'm a haikyuu luver... this is my way of using my intricate knowledge of volleyball that i learned through obsessively watching and reading haikyuu. without having ever played the game. also i always find myself giving my best fic ideas to seungmin but like u know what this is my god-given duty for all my seungmin luvers. you are all precious to me. this one is for U. i'm also deeply insecure about my writing (especially this one because... idk i feel like it's not as good as i think it is) so pls tell me ur thoughts. give me constructive feedback. but i hope u enjoy tho mwah have a good new year everyone
the screech of rubber sports shoes squeaking against varnished wood floors, the echoes of skin against multi-coloured volleyballs reverberating throughout the gargantuan arena, the distant chorus of high schoolers yelling at their teammates to formulate a game play.
seungmin closes his eyes and takes a deep, fully-chested breath as he relishes in the charged atmosphere that fills the gymnasium. a familiar voice cuts through the haze as he feels a hand slap him on the back, before snaking its way around his shoulder. "another year in this damn stadium," chan's calculating gaze scans the place. "we better take home a trophy this time."
seungmin adjusts the strap of his duffel to sit more securely on his shoulder, and huffs to blow a stray lock of his hair out of his face. he turns to look at his captain and sighs: "i'll literally treat the entire team to pizza if we do."
"i know you meant that sarcastically, but the motivation is very real to me," a voice that can only belong to his team's eccentric libero, jisung, pipes up from behind him. seungmin can only roll his eyes before snapping something about how he'd love to see that motivation on the court back, as the team shuffle and squeeze their way through other courts over to their designated one, where they'll be having their first match of the national championships today.
once the team settles down on the benches and starts gearing up, seungmin spots a copy of today's tournament brackets and quietly picks it up for a quick inspection. his eyes immediately gravitate towards the name of his team—wildwood high—neatly printed on the sheet of paper, alongside the name of the opposing team—cape coral—indicating their first match. but then his gaze lingers a beat longer on the paper as he scans it again, this time looking for something else he can't really place his finger on (the thing is he actually does know but refuses to admit it to himself).
he finally spots it: laguna creek, court six. playing their first match today against another team he hasn't heard of, just an hour before his. his brows furrow in frustration, and he lifts his head back up before his gaze sweeps the crowd of the arena once more for court six.
the history between seungmin and you goes way back. you were neighbours for basically your entire childhoods, and for the longest time you were best friends who did everything together. that was precisely how both your and seungmin's love for volleyball began—it started with watching re-runs of the olympics on seungmin's ratty old box television in the early 2000s. enamoured by how cool the volleyball players looked, you both began (poorly) imitating it in his backyard nearly everyday after elementary school from then on.
seungmin's a little fuzzy on the details, but things changed just as you two were about to begin your first year at high school. you initially planned to go to wildwood high with seungmin for their volleyball team, since the school used to produce a handful of national players. but then your parents announced that they've split up and would be looking into officially filing for divorce, and you got whisked away by your mother to a suburb that was a good two-hour drive away, so you were forced to leave seungmin at this new school where he knew nobody. it's not like you loved this arrangement either, but you didn't really have a choice.
seungmin, being a pre-pubescent boy who didn't know how to process his feelings, took his frustration out on you, and pretty much blamed you for abandoning him. he lashed out at you the day you were due to leave, and basically called time of death on your friendship. you remember him screaming something about how you were "a shit friend for abandoning him" and how he was "happy about not needing to tolerate you in high school". those words really stung—you have always considered seungmin the only friend you'd ever need, but the feeling clearly wasn't mutual if he could bring himself to say such harsh things about you. over something you had no control over, too?
and so you moved across town, cutting off all contact with the boy for a short while. that was until both your high school teams crossed paths at your first national championships game. you wanted to ignore his presence, but seungmin started picking on you whenever your schools would cross paths at championships and friendly matches, and it just transitioned into this full-blown rivalry where you absolutely hated each other. if you were to ask seungmin why he even started picking on you on top of all the hurtful things he said to you before you left, he'd say it's because he hates you, but deep down, he just misses you.
"let me guess, you're looking for y/n again," chan tuts, arms crossed over his chest and foot tapping against the floor by the time seungmin snaps his head back around. "why are you so fixated on your stupid rivalry with them?" the younger boy raises a brow.
"have you seen them? they are insufferable. someone needs to humble them and if it has to be me, then so be it."
"are you actually mad that they might be a better setter than you?"
seungmin is genuinely offended by his captain's absurd statement. "are you crazy?"
"if you say so."
seungmin chooses peace today, and de-escalates the conversation by walking away, but somehow manages to end up at the bleachers right by court six. he immediately spots you right there on the court, loose strands of hair stuck to the sides of your sweat-coated face, eyes trained on the ball as you guide it towards your teammates. wearing that same goofy jersey your school makes your team wear—who the hell though bright orange and blue would make for a good colour combination?
your team is running some last-minute drills and warm-ups before the actual game begins in about 10 minutes. seungmin's eyes never leaves your figure as he silently debates going up to talk to taunt you, watching intently as you pull the middle blockers in a huddle to talk strategy.
so he does. he now finds himself with his feet just an inch shy from the white paint that marks the borders of the court, fingers entwined behind his back as he smirks at you. you immediately catch his eye—after all, all that staring from him was not at all hard to miss—and jog right over to him as you rolled your eyes so hard they hit the back of your head.
"first match today too, huh?" seungmin snidely remarks, looking down at you as you use your forearm to wipe the sweat from your forehead. "good luck, you're going to need it." you scoff—you didn't know what you expected from seungmin aside from his usual arrogance. you take a sip of water from your bottle. "you know i don't," you deadpan between gulps of water. "looks like you might, though. a little birdie told me cape coral got a new spiker, and he's in the running for the national under 19 team. i know how jealous of good players you can get."
seungmin immediately frowns, and you relish in his silent distress. "what do you mean?"
"why don't you find out for yourself? you only have about an hour, anyway," you give him a curt couple of pats on the shoulder with the emptiest smile plastered on your face. hm, seungmin thinks, how did you know about his match today? "i have a game to play now." you turn your back and jog away towards the rest of your team as the umpire blows his whistle to indicate the impending start of the match.
a perplexed seungmin is left spiralling about this mysterious new cape coral player as he sullenly makes his way back to the nearby bleachers to watch. the under 19 team? that's at least two leagues above the high school championships. how is his team going to progress past the first round now? cape coral has never been particularly outstanding; the furthest they've made in the competition in past years was literally the second round. this could really tip the scales.
the shrill blow of the umpire's whistle rudely interrupts his train of thought, shortly before your team makes the first serve. seungmin didn't really know what he expected—laguna creek has always been a formidable team every single year he's been in the high school volleyball scene, and ever since you joined two years ago, you've been something of a star player. it really comes as no surprise when your team dominates the first set by a good seven points.
but then something completely unexpected happens. it happened so fast that seungmin couldn't recall the exact details even if he wanted to, but just as you were about to set the ball to a spiker, one of your middle blockers accidentally collides with you at full force. their foot completely pushes down on your ankle, sending you pummelling straight to the ground with a thud that was concerning level of loud. he may have been hallucinating, but he thought he heard you yelp very slightly. his eyes widen as he shoots up from his seat to run over to the court-side, as you wince and hisse in pain while gripping the flesh around your ankle, which is now visibly reddened and swollen. the umpire hastily calls for a time-out.
seungmin can only stand there and watch you in silence as his heart violently pounds against his ribs. the middle blocker responsible for your plight shies away in a corner as your team surrounds you, apologising profusely as tears threaten to pour out of her eyes. you assure them it's not her fault through gritted teeth, as your coach frantically asks for volunteers to accompany you to the infirmary.
seungmin isn't sure why he felt compelled to, but before he had the chance to think his response through, he raises his hand and says, "i'll do it." your coach's head snaps up to examine the volunteer, brow slightly raised when her eyes meet seungmin's. he could tell she was a bit confused about why kim seungmin from wildwood would want to personally bring you to see a nurse, but she doesn't complain. seungmin immediately rushes to your side and slings your arm around his shoulder, with his own wrapping around your waist for support as he lifts you up with a grunt. you wince even harder from the sudden movement as you limp your way out of the main hall with seungmin by your side.
your short walk to the infirmary was mostly just awkward silence, with the occasional groan from the pain of accidentally putting pressure on your injury. you guess your curiosity got the better of you when you decide to fuck it and just break the silence. "why are you even helping me? i'm surprised your skin didn't start melting upon touching me." it's not as though seungmin completely didn't expect some sort of skepticism from you, but the sense of defeat that laced your words was what caught him off guard. you feel his grip tighten around your waist as he tries to think of an answer that wouldn't sound weird.
"i'm not a monster, you know," seungmin huffs under his breath, refusing to make eye contact with you as you both trudge on. "i just need you to be back in the game. i can't score one over you if you're out of commission, right?"
your immediate reaction was to scoff. "score? yeah right," you sneer, but pause for a beat as you let his response sit a bit. "but i suppose you're right," you mutter after a while, eyes darting everywhere but seungmin's figure. you spot the infirmary room in the distance and mentally thank god. "although, it is a bit weird seeing you be this kind to me. if i didn't know any better, i'd even think you cared about me."
blood rushes up to seungmin's ears as he slides the door open, keeping his lips sealed in case he blurts out anything he can't take back. "i only care about properly defeating you." he knows somewhere deep down that that was a bald-faced lie, but you are too pre-occupied with your ankle to retaliate the way you always do. after setting you down on the bed, seungmin wordlessly takes a seat on a chair at the corner of the infirmary as the nurse checks your injury out. "it seems you might have fractured your ankle," she deduces after a while. panic visibly takes over your face as you ask about what you should do. "i'm afraid you'll have to go to the hospital to get this patched up properly. i can call an ambulance," she says. "you might not be able to play for a few months."
seungmin watches you intently as you just sit there, processing the news in complete silence as your gaze burns holes in the floor, your fingers gripping onto the edge of the bed. seungmin doesn't really know what to say or do, except to heed the nurse's instructions to return to the court to inform your couch about the decision to hospitalise you. he's puzzled by his own reaction as he hastily walks back—he should be gloating about the way you're practically removed from the picture, but why does he feel like complete shit?
the day carries on as usual. the ambulance arrives and you're loaded in on a stretcher, although seungmin wasn't able to see you leave since he had his own match to worry about. turns out, you were just lying about the new cape coral player to rile him up—thank god, he thinks—so seungmin's team managed to easily beat them out and progress to the next round. he doesn't tell his teammates about the mishap with you earlier, and no one really notices the way an air of dreariness clouded him today, except for chan. while the rest of the team celebrate the win, he quietly pulls him to the side for a quick check-in.
"is everything alright?" chan mutters under his breath to avoid eavesdroppers, once he brings seungmin to a secluded-enough corner. "couldn't help but notice you were a little off your game today. just a little, though."
right, nothing can ever really escape chan when it comes to his team, can it? seungmin's shoulders slump as he sighs, before he quickly gives him the run-down of what just happened with you earlier chan's face just morphs into an expression of concern as he listens on. both your teams brushed shoulders a lot, considering you were both pretty on par in terms of skill, so chan is pretty well-acquainted with you. he is understandably shocked—your reputation as one of the best setters at the national high school level precedes you. you were always known for being precise and intentional with each move, so to hear that you got taken out by an injury sustained on the court (by a fellow teammate, no less), is unexpected. as chan processes the news, seungmin can only look down as he fidgets with his fingers.
"you know, it's very out of character for you to actually be... i wanna say... bummed out by this," chan observed as the setter's gaze remains on his hands. "that's weird."
of course it's weird, seungmin thinks, he doesn't know our history. "i'm just angry they couldn't take care of themselves better. how am i supposed to one-up them now? it wouldn't be a real win." the way chan tilts his head and purses his lips at his response, seungmin notes, indicates he doesn't buy his excuse. "come on, be honest with me. you like them, don't you?"
the younger boy's eyes immediately widen as his head snaps back up. "you're insane," seungmin declares, but the way the blood rushes to the tips of his ears betrays him. "why would i ever like y/n? you need to wash your eyes out with bleach, look at them again and get back to me."
although it was a complete shot in the dark, chan can't help but laugh at how dramatic seungmin is being over his theory—it basically confirmed his suspicions. "look, i've seen the way you and y/n act around each other. you pretend like the feeling is a mutual hatred, but i can see that you actually care for one another underneath all the snipes and jabs. true arch nemeses don't go out of their way to keep tabs on the other like you two do," chan explains once he calms himself. now the blush makes its way to seungmin's cheeks. " i don't know in what world it's considered acceptable to personally escort your number one enemy to the infirmary after an accident, but it's certainly not this one. i can tell your relationship runs deeper than it shows on the court. you have to sort this out. the tension is killing me."
what tension??? seungmin doesn't really know how to respond, so he just scoffs and walks away, but he knows better than anyone that there's truth to chan's words, even if chan didn't know it himself. perhaps he does care about you, because otherwise, why would he feel so bad about what happened today? seungmin and chan just silently tail behind the team as everyone boards the bus in a single file.
no matter how hard he tries, seungmin can't stop thinking about the conversation he just had with chan on the bus ride back to campus. he's sitting a few seats shy from the back on the bus alone, earphones plugged in and blasting some song from a random playlist he hastily put on the moment he sat down in an attempt to clear his mind. but the moment he sees the bus pull up in the school's parking lot, he hurriedly bids goodbye to his team—chan flashing him a knowing, almost fatherly smile when he makes eye contact—rushes over to his bike, mounts it, and speeds off to the hospital.
perhaps it was the adrenaline from cycling for 15 minutes straight, or maybe it was the escalating anxiety of actually having to talk to you without insulting you, but by the time he parks his bike at the hospital lot, he feels a huge lump form in his throat as he saunters through the sliding doors. "is there a y/n here? i believe they just came in for a fractured ankle," he asks the receptionist, who points him to a ward just around the corner. he warily walks over, mind racing.
"knock knock," seungmin manages to say, after taking a giant gulp to quell his nerves. he peeks through the door to see you sitting upright on the hospital bed, foot wrapped in a thick, white cast. you immediately recognise his voice, and feel your breath hitch in your throat right before you beckon him to come in. you kind of just awkwardly sit there in silence as seungmin dawdles bedside, trying to formulate what he wants to say.
"what did the doctor say?"
"i'm out for two months. might take longer."
"oh."
seungmin clears his throat as he quickly scans your disheveled appearance. you don't really notice since you're doing everything in your power to avoid his gaze, but even then you couldn't hide how upset you were about being crippled by an injury as preventable as this. "how are you feeli-"
"why are you here?" you cut him off, voice raised, boldly spinning your head around to look seungmin dead in the eye. "are you trying out some new demented way to make fun of me? to insult me?" your voice cracks a little bit as you feel your eyes sting from the onset of tears. you aren't really sure what overcame you to confront him so aggressively like this. sure, you certainly have dished out your own fair share of insults to seungmin's face, but they were usually more playfully snarky and sarcastic. this is different; this is personal, but not towards him. you're angry at yourself for letting this happen, and you're taking it out on seungmin. he blinks and attempts to stutter out a response.
"i was just worried," he sheepishly admits, gaze falling to the floor and arm reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. "about... about you."
"why now? why after all these years of hating me?"
"who said i hated you?"
now it's your turn to be caught off guard. your eyes widen as you wait for him to elaborate. "i never hated you," he mutters after a brief pause.
"then why do you treat me like you do?"
"i..." seungmin trails off, squeezing his eyes shut and gulping one more time for good measure. here goes nothing. "w-when you moved away all those years ago, i just didn't know what to do. i was so scared of losing you and i didn't know how to deal with that. so i did what i knew best—push you away first," he rambles as you silently process his words. "then when i saw you again... and i didn't want to come across as weak. so i continued pretending like i hated you. but i never have."
"that's not good enough."
seungmin throws his head back and exhales deeply, heart pounding so violently in his chest it feels as though it's about to pop out any second. "i...i care about you. more than you know. no matter how hard i tried to push you away, i just couldn't."
"still not good enough."
"fine, i like you! i always have," seungmin finally exclaims, throwing his hands up in pent-up frustration. "damn it, was that what you wanted to hear?" it was such an extremely, emotionally charged reaction, but for some reason you couldn't help but giggle profusely as you watch his epiphany unfold before your eyes. you know he's going through something serious here, but watching him act out like this with such strong emotion—while literally looking like a puppy in human form—feels like watching a muppet having a rage episode. "wait, wait," seungmin pauses as he notices your... unusual reaction. "was this just one big, elaborate scheme to get me to embarrass myself in a hospital?"
you absent-mindedly sit up to assure that that was not the actual plan, and completely forgot that your ankle is in a cast. you wince and hiss in pain again, now eliciting seungmin's own fit of laughter. "you're a brilliant setter and a smart, handsome kid, but you are so incredibly dense," you finally tell him between giggles.
"what the he- wait, did you just say handsome?"
"i've always liked you too, you know. since before i can even remember. so when you said those things to me and continued acting like you hated me all this time, i just thought you moved on. so i never did anything about it."
"wha-"
you press your index finger against his lips to quickly shut him up. "sshh. let me finish," you tell him, and he mouths an apology. "i can't lie, you really hurt me. i don't know if we can go back to what we were just yet," you mumble as your hand cups and gently caresses his cheek, and he leans into your touch. you spot the sadness in seungmin's eyes, but you can tell he understands where you're coming from.
"telling you how sorry i am can't even begin to cover it, y/n. i know how much i hurt you. i understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore," seungmin says, teary-eyed.
you couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped you after he said that. seungmin tilts his head and raises a brow as he watches yet another abnormal reaction from you. "woah, woah, when did we jump to that conclusion? i never said i didn't want anything to do with you anymore, silly," you smile softly, using your thumb to wipe the little traces of tears that welled in his eyes just a few seconds before. "let's start over. how about a date first?"
you wish you could capture the way seungmin's eyes lit up. his own hand reaches up to hold yours against his cheek, squeezing your fingers as his lips press a chaste kiss onto the skin of your palm. "let's do that."
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