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cas-writes-stuff-ig · 2 months

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Regina's Pet

CONTENT:

Word Count: 10,210 words

f!/nb!reader x regina george (dom!regina sub!reader)

-reader and regina smoke weed and cigarettes, but reader has never used a bong before

-drinking

-the reader has a shoulder tattoo and Regina finds

-cady and janis are friends with the plastics

-smut (she collars you later) (mommy kink) (degrading and praise) (semi-public stuff) (a bit of BDSM) (she eats you out and fingers you, and she rides your face) (edging and overstim)

-gross guy hitting on Regina, reader helps her

-fluffy shower aftercare

-she dates you in the end

-regina is kinda more nice here, but she still calls you a dumbass

(btw the smut is at the beginning and the end if you want to skip to it, but there's a lot of teasing build-up between there.)

Hi, i’m really new to writing so sorry if its shitty. I hope you like it. I might make a Part 2

(small unrelated note: I accidentally posted this while I was still writing it out yesterday, mb to those 15 people who saw this and didn't read the finished version, I'm kinda new to writing on Tumblr [i also haven’t written anything since i was 13 so bear with me])

——————————————————————————————

In university you were more or less a wallflower, leaned against a wall near the kitchen counter watching people come and go with drinks, watching the dance floor. Your friends had disappeared somewhere in the house leaving you unintentionally. It was Friday, and the night was young.

You looked into your red solo cup and downed it all, then walked to the kitchen counter to pour yourself another cup of liquid courage with coke.

Just as you were about to resume to leaning against a wall a hand tapped your shoulder from behind and you saw her, Regina George. You assumed she just came from the crowd of people dancing since you hadn’t seen her before that.

She’s been in some of your lectures and had taken a liking to you, her normal spot was always near you or next to you, so you could share notes, but she always had friends around her. With others, she was snarky but with you she was snarky in a more friendly-flirty way. You couldn’t tell if she was actually flirting or not. But she often invited you out to study outside of class.

She was taller than you and you looked up a bit at her, then she stepped forward and you stepped back against the wall “Hey little wallflower,” she grinned as she saw your face of surprise, “Didn’t expect you to be here” and looked you up and down. This was one of the only times you saw her in a non-educational setting.

While of course she looked stunning, you looked down at your own outfit and scratched the back of your head, you wore just a T-shirt partially tucked in jeans. “Yeah kind of, I don’t know where my friends went. I got a little lost.” You admitted.

“You smoke?” she asked.

“Weed or Nicotine?”

“Either, I’ve got both if you want” her voice enticed you like a siren call.

Tired of standing around watching like a loner you nod “Preferably weed right now, just warning you, I’m a bit of a lightweight, but sure” you said

“Hmm, okay loser, c’mon” Regina smirked took your free hand, and led you through the crowd toward the side yard, where two girls were sitting around a table passing a bong, finishing up a bowl. You recognize them as part of Regina’s pack of friends, but you never formally talked to them.

Regina let go of your hand, “Hey guys you know Y/N, Y/N you know Gretchen and Karen right? Right.” she sat down on an empty chair and beckoned you to sit in the empty one next to her.

Gretchen stood “Actually we were just about to go get more drinks and find Cady and Janis, we’ll be back Gina” Karen also stood and handed Regina the bong and the lighter.

When they were out of earshot you whispered nervously to Regina, “Um, Regina? I’ve smoked weed but I’ve never used a bong before” you were bright red wondering if she’d judge you or something.

She had stared packing a small bowl and laughed at you a little “Sweet little thing” her voice was flirty but you couldn’t tell if it was just the alcohol in both your systems. She turned back to you “Move closer to me, I’ll help you” she ordered. You pushed your chair toward Regina and sat in front of her, knees almost touching. “Hands out flat hold the bottom, sweetheart” then she placed it on your hands. “Now, breathe in” you did as you were told and the water bubbled. Then, she lit the bowl and looked straight into your eyes, and then finally took the bowl out and nodded signaling for you to stop breathing in.

You breathed out the smoke which felt smoother than any smoke you’d ever had in your lungs “Good job Y/N, baby” her voice was a little condescending, but you warmed inside still at the praise. She took it out of your hands and used it herself. You alternated turns using it, with her still helping you and only giving you small short hits.

Feeling more at ease, you relaxed more in your chair and melted in it a bit. Regina looked at you cunningly, obviously enjoying that you were starting to let loose. “Regina, why are you hanging out with me I’m not exactly the most riveting thing at this party” you circled your hand insinuating that she was the riveting thing here.

“You intrigue me sweetheart” she said nonchalantly “Do i need another reason?”

“No I guess not..”

She added sarcastically “Oh, I remember I only keep you around for lecture notes and help with homework.” you laughed and she spoke again “you don’t look half bad either.” Was that Regina saying she thought you looked good? You ignored that thought and took a sip from your solo cup.

“Hey Regina” you slurred your words a bit while she took another hit herself “Can I have another hit, please?” and grinned at her.

You leaned forward so you could hold your hand out again, instead she grabbed your shirt collar eliciting a gasp from you, lips as close to hers without kissing, she started blowing smoke into your mouth and you obliged breathing it in. Then pulled you in for a quick kiss, leaving you speechless. “Cat got your tongue loser?” still holding your shirt, keeping you from moving backward.

Pausing for a moment trying to process what happened and to find the words, you spoke softly your inhibitions lost “No, you do” and she pulled you in again for a deeper kiss tasting her lipstick. She let go of your shirt and her thumb cleaned your lips of her lipstick.

Your head spun from the alcohol, weed, and adrenaline, your body was warm and fuzzy. “Fuck, you’re amazing” you said under your breath without thinking. Your heart hammered.

“Of course I am Y/N” she stood up and held her hand out to you, a silent order for you to get up and take her hand.

“You’re like a goddess” she stared down at you, like you were her obedient servant. Then you took her hand.

“I know loser”

——————————————————————————————

She called an Uber for both of you and brought you back to her dorm. She told you that her roommate wouldn’t come back tonight, since they head home on the weekends.

She led you inside and you asked “You sure your roommate isn’t gonna come back?” you closed the door behind you.

“Ugh no, shut up don’t ruin the mood just kiss me” she shoved you against the door and tilted your head up to look at her “You gonna be good for me?”. You just nodded and kissed her, she pushed her knee between your thighs and you whined into her. You opened your mouth more to let her tongue inside.

With your core aching for more touch, you started grinding on her thigh and she pushed her knee up higher into you. Regina broke the kiss with a bite to your lip eliciting another moan from you. “Shit- Regina” you buried your face in the crook of her neck and moaned out, she took your face to look back at her.

“Do you want more?” she asked, but you only nodded. “Ah ah” Regina scolded you “use your words.”

“Shit, please Regina? Please, fuck me. Be mean to me” You begged her not thinking about your words.

She smirked at you feigning disgust “Oh? Shy, innocent, little wallflower is so dirty” She removed her leg from between your knees and started undoing your belt and pants. Then she walked away from you towards the bed and started removing her shirt, while you did the same. She then sat on the bed with only her panties on and spread her legs. “You want me to fuck you? Get on your knees and earn it”

You both were still very crossfaded and you eagerly went on your knees kissing her from her knee to her inner thigh biting as you went. You looked up and saw her flushed face and kissed above her clit through her panties. “Take them off. Make mommy feel good.”

“Yes mommy” You loved her telling you what to do. You slid her panties off and she spread her legs for you. Regina’s pussy was wet, and hot. She looked down at you expectantly. “You’re beautiful” you said before pressing your tongue to her clit. Regina moaned out and you squeezed your thighs together, trying to relieve your own ache.

You tongued at her clit and pulled away to use a hand to rub circles around her bud “Can I use my fingers inside you?” and she let out a yes between moans and you watched her face as you slid two fingers easily inside her wet cunt and curled them pressing her g-spot her head threw back. You then returned your tongue to her clit pressing and licking harder.

“Shit baby, I’m close, don’t stop” she grabbed the back of your head and pulled you closer suffocating you between her legs a little bit. You rubbed your thighs together trying to relieve yourself and moaned into her pussy while you curled your fingers inside of her.

A loud “Fuck” between pants and moans was the last thing she said before she arched her back, one hand pressing you hard into her pussy the other supporting her while she came on your fingers, you continued the assault on her clit while she rode out her orgasm. When she finished you licked her pussy and thighs clean.

"You have a tattoo, I never took you for a tattoo kind of person" You looked up at her as she traced your shoulder. Regina found it hot "You never told me" It was always well hidden behind a normal tshirt

You replied "You never asked" and gave her a smile "It's not finished yet though"

She pulled you up onto the bed with her and you straddled one of her thighs. “You did such a good job pet” She still breathed heavily, and she kissed you tasting herself on your tongue.

You grinded down on her thigh a bit while you worshiped her body, a little whine escaping your mouth. Though your core aches for attention you dare not ask in fear of upsetting the goddess. Instead you worshipped her body with a trail of kisses from her neck to her breast. Leaving hickeys and marks only on places that could be covered easily. When you leaned back to look at the marks you left, you just stared looking at her perfect figure.

You heard Regina let out a scoff “You done gawking at me sweetie?” you reddened realizing how long you stared for. Smirking at your embarrassment, she decided to give you mercy “You ready for your reward baby?” her voice sickly sweet and domineering.

“Please” you said under your breath, you couldn’t take waiting any longer, it ached between your legs.

Regina laughed a bit at you “So needy” She took a hand and signaled for you to lift your hips, her other hand placed on her thigh where you’d been grinding slightly. “Ride it, ride my fingers slut.”

You lowered down onto her hand and as soon as you took her fingers in she curled them hitting your g-spot, a loud moan escaped from your mouth and then you started to grind your hips. You covered your mouth with your hand and closed your eyes, your other hand on her shoulder supporting yourself. Riding her hand, the base of her palm rubbed against your clit “Shit- Regina..” you moaned out but muffled against your hand.

She stilled your hips and threatened “Move your hand, let me hear you or I’ll stop” you opened your eyes half-lidded and let your hand drop to Regina’s other shoulder supporting yourself with both hands now. “Good pet seems like you can follow orders hm”

She started guiding your hips against her hand to start you back up again. You didn’t break eye contact with her. You moaned out loudly when her hand from your hip found one of your nipples and pinched it hard. “Regina” you panted out desperately and she just bit her lip.

She curled her fingers repeatedly hitting your g-spot and let you grind, you synched your hips with her movements. Each press inside and each time your clit moved against her palm sent pleasure shooting through your body, and heat started to burn in your core “Fuck, Regina- please I’m close. I can’t” you were almost tipping over the edge

“Cum for me baby, go on” She instructed and your legs shook and you moaned out her name over and over, she continued to guide you through your orgasm still pressing against your inside until you stopped grinding against her hand.

When she started to pull her hand away, you lifted your hips to let her, Regina let her fingers slide through your slit and rubbed hard against your overstimulated clit. A loud whimper escaped, but you tried not to move away “Shit- Regina, I’m sensitive” You looked at her pleadingly, legs trembling

“I know baby” she smirked deviously as your legs shook “come one more time for me, can you do that?” she circled your clit faster.

“Yes, fuck- anything for you” you weren’t going to last long, especially when she talked to you like that.

Regina hummed “Such a pathetic toy for me aren’t you?” you whined out a yes and she pressed harder. She loved seeing you come undone.

“Regina, please, I’m close again” you managed to get out, then she started rubbing horizontal strokes right against your clit and you felt like you saw stars “Mommy- please I can’t, I can’t-”

“Go ahead pet” she purred in your ear and you came all over her hand again. This orgasm was more intense than the first, white-hot pleasure struck through you. She whispered praises and encouragement while you came, but she never slowed down wanting to prolong your orgasm as long as possible.

When you pulled your hips away you she brought her hand in front of both of you. “Look at how messy you are baby” then she made a show of licking your wetness off her hands.

You sat on her lap still straddling her and she sat up to kiss you, she wrapped her arms around your waist and your arms went around her shoulder and neck. She kissed your jawline and then your neck leaving a sizable hickey that would be hard to hide. She pulled back to look at you.

“That was incredible” you said breathily coming down from your orgasm high and the weed. “Thank you” you murmured quietly.

“You did say I was amazing” she pulled you close to her lips again, “of course I’m incredible in bed” sounding cocky as ever.

Regina let you climb off her and she helped you clean yourself up. You sat on the bed while she rummaged through her drawer and she threw a pink t shirt and a pair of sweats at you. She decided to keep the stray in her bed. “Stay tonight”

“Thank you” you said as you stood up and got changed into her pjs.

She rummaged more through her drawer and pulled out a small tape measurer “Sit up” she instructed and you did, then she wrapped it around your neck measuring it quickly.

You were confused, but before you could ask what it was for, she lifted the covers to get in bed and anxiety suddenly took over you. You were about to sleep in this gorgeous woman’s bed. But your mind raced. Was this just a fling? Were you really just kept around for homework and a good fuck? Your expression changed and you furrowed your eyebrows a tiny bit. “I’m gonna go get some water really quick” you grabbed her water bottle.

Before you could walk out, she said “Okay nerd, just come back” she sounded irritated, but the way her hand had tugged on your shirt showed you she wasn’t really upset.

“Of course” you grabbed your phone and walked out to the communal bathroom. You went to the sink and splashed water in your face. “Fuck” you said to yourself looking at the mirror, you then tilted your head to the side looking at the hickey she left on you. Your stomach fluttered, you’d just fucked one of the most beautiful people and she wants you to come back to bed.

You opened your phone to worried messages from your friends

Y/N: so sorry guys I’m at someone’s dorm right now

Max: shit we were worried about you, we tried finding you at the party but you weren’t there

Y/N: you guys have my location you know

Jade: whose dorm r you at? did you, yk?

You hesitated before texting back, fingers hovering over the keyboard. Your friends knew that Regina had taken a liking to you and gave you special treatment, they also knew what a huge crush you had on her

Y/N: i’m with regina...

Max: so you’re the one people saw with regina huh

Jade: hope you had fun

Y/N: mm details later, i’m going to bed goodnight

Jade: goodnight

Max: night

Next to the communal bathroom, was a small water fountain and you filled it.

You walked back to her room and she put her phone down quickly and lifted the covers for you to come in. “Hey Regina?” you said nervously as you got shifted to be comfortable in her bed.

“Yes” she replied while she took your arm around to hold her. You were cuddling her, and she scooted closer to you.

“I was just wondering, is this just a one time thing or..” you paused anxiously wondering if she was mad.

She turned over in your arms and looked at you “You’re a good fuck, you’re good with school, yes.” Regina said a bit sternly, almost offended at you asking. “but you don’t look half bad, and I actually happen to enjoy your company” she said under her breath. You wouldn’t know if she actually said that last part if you didn’t feel her breath on your lips.

“And if you want this again, which I know you do, then you’ll get it, understand?” she said cockily again, you didn’t reply but just passionately kissed her, and her hand came to cup your face. “I’ll take that as a yes” This was the nicest Regina ever was up till now, and it warmed you.

She turned back over for you to spoon her and you pulled her close this time and kissed her neck and shoulder. “Thank you, goodnight Regina” you murmured, sleepiness taking over your body.

“Goodnight loser” she replied with no malice in her voice. You nuzzled your face into her shoulder and Regina felt you smile into her shoulder. You were her loser, hers. And hopefully hers for more nights.

——————————————————————————————

In the morning you realized where you were, in Regina George’s bed and reddened at the realization. In the night you switched positions with her, and she really just held you like a teddy bear. You awkwardly slipped your phone out from under the pillow and checked the time, it was around 10AM.

You felt her stir and pull you close to her, and your heart beamed, the snappy Regina George likes to cuddle you. “Good morning” You felt her breathe against your neck.

“Good morning Regina, did you sleep okay?” you replied and turned over to look at her.

She let go to stretch her arms out a bit. “Good, you?”

“I haven’t slept that good in a while” You admitted, her smile full of pride.

“What? You worn out from last night baby” she teased and you just didn’t reply and turned your head into the pillow. You felt her get up out of the bed then you looked at what she was doing. She handed you your clothes from last night.

She threw you a glance and told you “Get dressed we’re going out.” She sat in her desk chair and started putting on make up.

“Wait what?” you asked surprised.

She turned around annoyed and looked at you “We’re going shopping loser, get dressed” she turned back to her mirror and teased “Don’t worry I wont look at you change, not like I didn’t see you naked last night right?” you flustered and got changed.

You sat on the bed waiting for bed to finish getting ready, kicking your feet a bit “Hey Regina, you got any coffee?” you said as she was slipping on her heels.

“Some in the fridge” you kneeled down to get some and opened a bottle of cold coffee.

“Thanks” you turned and saw her put on her black leather jacket, then she walked up to you, and used a finger to tilt your head up.

“You ready to go?” she smiled looking down at you, the heels she wore made her much taller than you. Your face was red and she reveled in the effect she had on you. You just nodded.

——————————————————————————————

You sat in the front passengers seat, and of course Regina had a sexy car too. You had chugged your coffee out of nervousness. Regina told you that Gretchen and Karen ended up at some frat guys house, and picked them up.

When they got in you really stuck out like a sore thumb. Three pretty girls and there was you. While they all talked amongst themselves about their night, you just stared at the road.

After arriving at some mall parking lot, Regina led the three of you through an expensive clothing store, you were in the back following them like a lost dog. Regina instructed them to find clothes for you, and you were stunned, you thought they were here for themselves, and you were there to tag along.

“Y/N, sit there got it?” She pointed at some chairs near a dressing room “We’ll be back.” You went to go sit and waited for them.

Gretchen and Karen came to you first and surprisingly they let you pick the clothes that you felt comfortable wearing. They put the clothes you didn’t choose on a rack and dispersed again to pick out clothes for themself. You yelled a “Thanks guys” before they were out of earshot.

Regina came back and walked toward you, “Hey try this on” she handed you a white wife beater and some ripped jeans and she looked through the clothes the girls had chosen for you, and removed some items from the pile. You saw a plastic bag so she had already bought herself some clothes while she was a walking around.

“Okay” You stepped into a dressing room and slipped the clothes on, you saw how expensive they were and grew anxious. You looked good but you still felt nervous and self-conscious, the shirt revealed your tattoo, which you never showed off. You poked your head out and saw Regina looking at you and raised an eyebrow, wanting to see the outfit.

You stepped out and she got up from her chair and approached you, circling you like prey. It made you nervous. Her hand touched your waist and she spoke, “Wear this with your belt” Regina walked in front of you and tucked the front of the shirt into the pants “You look cute” she put a finger on her lip and looked you up and down.

“Th-thanks” you replied nervously.

Regina then walked behind you and smacked your ass lightly. It made you yelp a little, and she let out a soft chuckle. Her fingers laced through the loops on the jeans on either side and pulled your hips into hers and whispered in your ear “Your ass looks nice in these jeans, wear this outfit tonight” Then she nipped at your ear, and you suddenly felt hot. She traced your shoulder again "Also show this off more often"

You stammered out “What’s tonight?” She let go of you and smiled.

“Another party of course” she sat down in the chair and crossed her legs “Get changed again, then let’s go pay”

When you stepped out, Regina took the clothes from you and handed you her bag of clothes to hold, and went to go to the register to pay for you. “You really don’t have to do that Regina it’s fine,” you said, feeling bad if she paid.

“If I’m going to be seen again with you tonight, especially on the dance floor, I want you to look good.” she glanced at you and inserted her card. It was nice that she paid even though it was for her own selfish purposes.

“You sure you don’t want me to pay you back” You felt bad because it was pricey.

“Don’t question me baby” She threw you a glare and walked past you handing you the bag of clothes making you hold both bags but you didn’t really mind that. And you nodded obediently.

Gretchen and Karen were also paying and when you all were reunited at the entrance, you offered to hold their bags as well, which they let you. You walked around more with them at the mall, Gretchen and Karen ended up walking off on their own to another part of the mall, then it was just you and Regina again.

You both were talking comfortably, even though your heart was racing, you wanted to tease her back a bit. You sat at a table, sitting across from each other, drinking some soda, then you leaned forward, elbows on the table resting your head in your hands smiling “So you really do enjoy my company don’t you”.

She rolled her eyes, “Whatever you think”

“Oh come on, you said it last night, I remember it” You tilted your head to the side and grinned wider.

She crossed her legs and her arms and was frustrated “I did, so what? We were drunk and high” She spat, and it almost hurt your feelings. She then put on a devious smile “And if you keep acting like a brat about it, you’ll regret it tonight, understand me, baby?”

Heat instantly went between your legs at what she was insinuating but you continued your facade of confidence “Regret it how?” you laughed and said “Should I fuck around and find out? or be good for you?”

She returned your sentiment “Up to you, either way you’ll end up begging” That made your facade crumble away and you felt your face grow red, and she just relished in your shyness, knowing she won.

Once you were reunited with them again, Regina drove Gretchen and Karen to their respective dorms, and you last. Before you got out the car she grabbed your shirt again and pulled you in for a quick kiss. “Meet back at mine at around 7, got it? I’ve got another errand to run”

“Yeah, I’ll see you there, thanks for taking me out today” You stepped out and waved.

“Mmhm whatever, thank me later” her tone was mean but she pulled her sunglasses down a little and gave you a look that made your heart flutter for a moment.

She drove away and you walked into your dorm where your two friends were. “Hey guys” you put your bag of clothes down and kicked your boots off.

“Well well well, look what the cat dragged in” Your friend Jade said to you.

“Yeah a bag of clothes Jade it isn’t a big deal” you replied tired of walking around “Turn around I’m changing”

Max and Jade turned around but still probed at the topic “But you were with the Regina George last night” Jade said.

“And you slept in her dorm” Max added, you changed into your comfortable pjs to lounge around in until 7 o’clock approached

“You can turn back around now” you said and they turned toward you arms crossed

“Details please” they both said and you sighed defeated.

“Promise me you won’t tell a soul” you put your pinkies out for them and the promised.

“Of course Y/N”

You sat on your bed and they sat across from you on Max’s bed, and you huffed out “Fine, she found me, we smoked a bong, and then we left, got an Uber to her dorm and we fucked” you sighed.

Max smiled “I would say sorry for losing you last night, but It seems like you had a great time without us” and pointed to your neck. You had completely forgot you had a hickey there and you were cherry red in the face. Jade and Max laughed at your obliviousness.

“But come on was it good?” Jade pressed.

You had grabbed a pillow and stuffed your mouth and nose into it “yes, she liked my tattoo” you said through the pillow.

“Does she like you? Was it a fling or does she want you again?”

“I don’t know, but she’s insinuated she wanted to fuck again” you mumbled.

Max and Jade high-fived each other “Y/N getting laid with the prettiest girl around” Max said teasing you.

Jade and Max were actually pretty sociable and had connections to parties, so when they got you as a roommate they took you on as their token introvert.

Jade laughed and added wiping away fake tears “They grow up so fast” You threw the pillow at them and their laughter only grew. Once they regained composure, Jade asked “There’s another party tonight, you coming with? Regina might be there” she waggled her eyebrows at you and you held up your middle finger.

“Actually, Regina invited me out to the party with her friends..” you grabbed the bag of clothes and took out the outfit Regina bought for you “that’s what this is for, she bought it for me”

They whooped and cheered, then Max spoke “She must really like you then Y/N” They paused and looked at your anxious face “Don’t sweat it, you’re gonna be hot shit tonight”

“I hope so” You ran your fingers through your hair.

7 o’clock approached faster than you expected, it was already 6:20 and you had gotten some notes done for a class. Then you started to change into the outfit Regina chose for you, you ripped off the tags and threw them in the recycling trashcan near the mirror, putting on your clothes. Max whistled when you turned to look at yourself in the mirror. “Regina has good taste”

“In clothes or people?” you asked, while putting your belt on

“Both Y/N” Max walked up to you and fixed your hair a little. You sat and bounced your knee anxiously “Breathe you already fucked her once you’ll be fine” you just felt silly, your outfit wasn’t too out of your comfort zone but you were scared again.

Max patted your shoulder. “You’re fine, you should wear that gold cross necklace you have, it’d look good with your outfit” you grabbed it and handed it to Max to clasp around your neck.

It was an indulgence purchase from months ago, you saw it and decided you needed it, it was actually expensive and real gold too. You were rather attracted to shiny things, and people like Regina.

Jade was absorbed in some video on her laptop and Max beckoned her “Jay look at them” She paused her video and looked at you.

“Wow go get ‘em tiger” Jade said jokingly, you rolled your eyes and cringed at her

“What are you my dad?” you grinned and then looked at your phone, “Ah shit I should head out now guys” You grabbed your small cross bag and slung it over your shoulder.

“We’ll see you at the party!” Max and Jade called out, you waved them goodbye. Then you walked to Regina’s dorm, it was about a 10-15 minute walk away and you texted her to let you into the building. You were only 3 minutes early.

Y/N: Hey Regina i’m outside, mind letting me in?

Regina G :0 : Be down in a sec

You didn’t wait long as she opened the door for you and led you back to her dorm. She didn’t look at you just yet, she was in a hurry to get back and finish getting ready. When she was finished getting ready, she stepped in front of the mirror and ensured her outfit looked good. She wore a pink shirt that complimented her breast well and black leggings and heeled boots. Then she turned around to you.

She hummed in approval and then you were red again. She traced the gold cross you wore. “Nice touch”. She grazed your arms which were nicely toned but not super muscular.

“Thank you” you stood awkwardly as she was staring at your outfit and your body. You avoided eye contact.

“Real gold?” she took the cross into her hands and looked at the fine details, you nodded. “Consider me impressed” you breathed out a sigh of relief only for her to pull you by your belt into a kiss. “You ready for this little wallflower?”

“Yeah” you said quietly.

She handed you her leather jacket “Hold this for me, don’t lose it” the she leaned over to apply her lipstick and walked back over to you pressing a few kiss marks to your cheek and neck. “Don’t wipe that off either” She pulled her phone out “Just waiting for Gretchen, Karen and Cady now”

——————————————————————————————

You left your bag at Regina’s since you assumed you’d come back for it anyway but took an unopened pack of Marlboros and a lighter and put it in Regina’s jacket. It was about 8 o’clock that you all left, Cady drove you all to the house party. Regina sat in the front leaving you with Gretchen and Karen in the back. You held Regina’s jacket in your lap.

Karen and Cady were the more amicable of the four in the car. Karen leaned and looked at your back "You've got tattoos Y/N" Suddenly Gretchen leaned over and looked at you.

"You do" She was also surprised "looks good on you"

You swore you saw Regina glance over at you raising an eyebrow, it screamed 'told you I was right nerd'.

Karen complimented your tattoos and asked many follow-up questions you weren't prepared for, but she leaned in and whispered "Regina likes them, she keeps staring at you through the mirror"

Before you could reply back thanks, Cady parked at the curb near the house where you could already hear music, the houses in this neighborhood were huge. Gretchen opened her door first hopping out, and let Karen out. Karen sent you a wink before shutting the door.

Regina led them to the door and opened it, all eyes were on her again. But since you walked in together it felt like they were on you. You all grabbed drinks before Karen and Gretchen dragged Cady to the dance floor. You grabbed some Jack and Coke and Regina just poured herself some Pink Whitney. “Hey Regina can I try some of yours?” you asked trying to loosen up before the alcohol kicked in.

“It’s vodka sweetie, aren’t you a lightweight?” you nodded She placed her cup down and picked up the bottle of Pink Whitney and a clean shot glass and poured you a shot, handing it to you “Bottoms up” You drank it and it burned on the way down but it was sweet and decadent much like Regina herself. She mouthed ‘Good pet’ and smirked then dragged you to the dance floor where you were already tipsy.

“Regina, can I wear your jacket for now so I don’t lose it?” you said loud enough for her to hear through the music and people, she nodded and continued to dance. Your bodies were close together and you were drunk. Alcohol was the best social lubricant.

You danced together and at some points she took your hand and let you spin her around. You had to extend your arms a little bit more than if you were her height and if she wasn’t wearing heels.

You turned your back for a little when you heard Jade and Max call after you and you greeted them, they said they saw you and Regina together and playfully punched your shoulder, and then heard Regina’s voice “Get off me weirdo!” you turned to see some frat guy with his arm wrapped around Regina’s waist.

“Dance with me” he slurred his words very drunkenly but he wouldn’t let go of Regina and she wiggled her way out of his grasp.

“I'm here with someone, get lost” Regina spat.

“Yeah where is he then huh?” The guy stepped up to her, this guy was easily almost a foot taller than you, but Regina didn’t care and she pulled your arm and you instinctively hooked your arm around the back of her waist.

You glared at him and Regina pulled your face towards hers kissing you in front of him and someone others watched, a shy little nobody that no one’s seen is kissing the Regina George. You were drunk and didn’t care, you were pissed this guy wouldn’t leave her alone. Your hand trailed down to her ass momentarily and you both broke the kiss.

He was about to say something else but Gretchen, Karen, and Cady showed up, “Leave her be, fucking jackss” he just scoffed as more people were watching and walked to another girl. You and Regina quickly let go of each other, you wiped off her lipstick from your lips.

Her friends were checking on her and she was just dusting her outfit off obviously irritated as well but she just kept saying she was fine. You were seething inside and chugged the rest of your cup but maintained composure “Regina you okay?”

She looked up at you and snapped “I’m fine Y/N” and she looked at her friends “I’m fine, gonna get more to drink” She stormed off and her friends just stood looking at each other but you weaved your way through the crowd following her.

“Regina” you put a hand on her shoulder, she poured more alcohol into her cup, and she ignored you “Regina let’s go outside for a second” You saw an open case of water and took one out. “Come on Regina please?”

She gave you a death stare but she found the backyard, opened the sliding door, and you followed her when you were alone she sneered at you “I’m fine seriously lay off it” You dare not take her alcohol but you handed her the bottle of water and she sat in a folding chair.

You took out the cigarettes and the lighter and then slipped the jacket off to place around Regina’s shoulders. You sat next to her and opened the pack of cigarettes, placed a piece of gum in your mouth so it wouldn’t taste bad, and lit the cigarette. She drank a third of the water you gave her.

“Smoke break?” you passed her the cigarette and smiled a little, she took it from you wordlessly. You just looked down at your phone and let her have her silence. You got a couple messages from Max and Jade including a picture of Regina and you from the 2nd floor window. You looked at Regina who was turned away from you and then you looked up behind where you saw your friends giving you thumbs up, you flipped them off quickly.

Regina passed the cigarette back to you and you took a long puff. Then she spoke “Men are such jack asses, ugh” she crossed her legs and complained, you listened. “Like get the fuck of of me” she rolled her eyes and then you flicked the ash off and passed the cigarette back to her.

She ranted on for a while before she turned back to you, and murmured a soft “Thanks though” she flicked the cigarette butt away but it landed toward your feet, you picked it up and stuffed it in your pocket to throw away later. Both of you were still thoroughly intoxicated so you felt like you could tease her a little bit.

You put a cigarette in your mouth used one hand to protect it from the wind and one hand lit it up, you took a long puff before smirking. “Regina George? Saying ‘thank you’? I can’t believe my ears” You passed her the cigarette again.

“Shut it nerd” She took a deep breath of the cigarette and blew it at your face. You were glad to see her back to her snarky teasing ways.

“Or what?” You challenged her with no intention of winning. “You gonna punish me, Regina?” You leaned back in your chair and spread your legs to get comfortable, but she stood up.

She walked in front of your chair and towered over you “It seems like that’s what you want” her knee pushed harshly between your thighs, one hand on the back of your chair and the other still holding the cigarette. She looked down at you and you smiled wider, knowing she was back in a better mood. “You better wipe that smug smile off your face L/N”

You tried leaning up to kiss her but she straightened herself out of your reach and shoved her knee harder into your cunt. You whined “Regina” You looked up at her and she held the cigarette to your mouth and watched you inhale, you turned your head to not blow the smoke at her. She looked at you expecting you to say or do something. You put your hands up in defeat “I’m sorry Gina please forgive me” You wanted a taste of her lips.

“Again” she said smiling down at you cruelly, and you swore she could feel the pulse between your legs.

“Regina please, I'm sorry I was joking, I’ll be good now” You put your hands down on your thighs and leaned forward again “Please kiss me”

Like yesterday, she breathed smoke into your mouth. Regina leaned down towards your lips and you inhaled what she gave you, and she pressed her lips to yours. She pulled away and said “You’re forgiven, I suppose”

“Thank you goddess” You smiled at her more timidly. She removed her knee from between your legs and finished off the last of the cigarette. Before she could flick it onto the ground somewhere, you put your hand out to take it from her.

“Oh a good Samaritan too aren’t you?” she taunted you and handed it to you to put in your pocket. She looked you up and down again her eyes lingering at your necklace, then she smirked “Well, God bless you baby” she said seductively, and started to walk away “Let's go back inside shall we?”

She walked ahead of you and you looked up at the window to see if your friends were still there, and they were. Jade mouthed to you ‘bottom’ and you rolled your eyes, then speed walked to catch up with Regina.

Regina got a message and then took your hand and led you upstairs, to a room with a pool table and in the corner, Gretchen, Karen, Cady, and Janis, with two guys you assumed were gonna go home with some of them tonight. They passed around a bong and Regina looked back at you and said quietly. “Hope I trained you well last night, or does my stray need help again?” She sat down next to Cady on the couch and you sat on Regina’s right.

Regina got her turn and then it was yours thankfully you did it right. You passed it around maybe three times and talked and didn’t get awkward or anything, when it was your turn again Regina leaned to whisper in your ear, “Let me know when you wanna go back to mine, I have a surprise” a hand lightly traced the back of your neck and you coughed out then she leaned away to talk to Cady.

You stayed a while, just chatting, and you were pretty sobered up, but you felt needier. You let Regina finish her conversation before tapping Regina’s arm and nodding your head. Then Regina stood up “Cady, me and nerd are heading home now, just gonna take an Uber” You and Regina said bye to everyone else and walked out. Walking out the door she interlaced her fingers with yours.

——————————————————————————————

Regina traced the inner part of your thigh in the car and you had to bite back a whine when she got too close to your core, and you returned the favor pulling her leg apart slightly as well. Your stomach filled with butterflies.

When you got to her dorm she took her jacket off and kissed you relentlessly, both of you kicking off your shoes. Regina undid your belt and slipped a hand underneath your underwear and felt how wet you were. “Been waiting all night for this pet?” she dragged her finger from your entrance to your clit and pressed lightly.

“Yes, I want you, please” you begged, she took her hand out and licked her finger clean.

“Strip for me and kneel in front of the bed, like yesterday” She commanded and you were happy to follow, you took your gold necklace off and placed it on the desk and rid the rest of your clothes. Her back was turned to you and you heard her opening something while you stripped and went on your knees.

“Hey Regina? Can I keep a shirt on?” she turned to you and you were in nothing but held her pink t-shirt you wore last night.

She was amused to see you wear her clothes “Yeah, sure” she went back to fumbling with something and you put the shirt on and stared at your knees.

When you glanced up at her, she wore only her shirt and lace panties now which made you blush and look at the ground, then you heard a clink of metal. Regina sat on the bed right in front of you, and you looked up and saw what she held. A pretty black collar with a tag on the front engraved with the words “Regina’s Pet” and a ring on the back and front of the collar for a leash or for her to tug on.

“Hey you sober right?” her voice was soft and caring, which surprised you.

“Yes, I am” you replied quietly you were eager.

“Do you want this around your neck?” Regina unclasped it and held it in front of you.

Your mouth went dry and you said “yes” weakly.

“Good” she leaned down and fastened the collar onto your neck. “You’re my pet now, yeah?” she hooked her finger through the loop on the front and pulled you close.

“Yes” is all you could manage to say as she beckoned you to straddle her lap. Your legs were spread as you sat on her and she inspected the collar on you.

“is it too tight?” she yanked on it a little and stuck two fingers between your neck and the collar.

“No- no, it’s good thank you” you were nervous again.

“You’re familiar with the color system, yes?” Regina asked.

You nodded “Green for good, yellow for slow down and red for stop”

“Good you’re gonna need it” She replied and kissed your lips

She let go of your collar and one hand was against your back and the other trailed up your thigh and pressed lightly on your clit. “So about you being a bit bratty earlier today..” she circled your clit gently and she stared into your eyes, “I think I have to discipline you a bit, yeah?”

You were willing to do anything she asked really, and said “Yes” She rewarded that answer with her moving pressing slightly harder, you ached wanting more “I’m sorry Regina, I’ll be good” she let out an approving hum.

“Tell me when you’re close baby, don’t finish unless I say so,” She said, “can you do that for me?”

“Yes” and she rewarded you by pressing against your clit faster “Ah, Jesus- Regina, it feels good” you moaned out and rested your head in the crook of her neck. “Faster please,” you begged needing more friction.

“God you’re so fucking pathetic” but she obliged and touched you faster. “You like when I call you pathetic baby?”

“Fuck, yes!” each thrum against your clit sent you closer and closer to orgasm, and you felt your stomach tighten and your legs trembled “Regina I’m close,” But as soon as you said that her fingers were off you and you whined “No.. please, let me come” your orgasm dissipated and your clit ached.

“Mm no” she responded back, “Lay down spread your legs” You climbed off her and spread your legs, and she lifted the shirt to reveal your wet cunt to her. You closed your legs when she stared, but she pried them back open. She started at your inner thigh and left kisses, marks, and bites all the way up to your pussy, where she licked a long stripe from your entrance to your clit. You arched your back wanting more.

She licked your clit gently at first and then harder, “Regina” you gasped out, and you bucked your hips into her face then she pushed them back down. You looked down and you saw her looking back at you while she ate your pussy out. She flicked her tongue across your clit and you said her name between moans and pants.

While her tongue abused your clit she gathered your slick around her fingers and slid two digits inside you, making you gasp. Pumping her fingers in and out hitting your g-spot your legs began to shake again “Fuck, I’m close. Please don’t stop mommy” But she pulled away leaving you on the edge again. She moved up and kissed you, tasting your wetness on her tongue.

“You’re doing so good for me, pet” She praised and kissed you again letting you rest before she edged you again. “Color?”

“Green” you replied, the ache between your legs hurt but it felt so good to be at the end of her wrath. Then she went back down to lick your clit again, slower this time wanting to draw out your agony a little bit.

She pulled away to look at your cunt “You have such a pretty pussy, you know that pet?” she then thrust two fingers back inside you before you could respond, curling them against your g-spot, your back arched again, making your collar clink slightly and she went back down to lick your clit again.

Her tongue slowly increased speed and pressure as she licked circles around the bud, her fingers still moving inside you. Suddenly she sucked on your clit and you almost fell over the edge “Wait! close- fuckk” you said to her and she stopped again, you didn’t want to come without her permission, you wanted to be good for her.

You were sexually frustrated, tears pricked at the corner of your eye and she took her clean hand and wiped them away “Does your pussy ache sweetie?” her tone was sadistic as she smiled. You just nodded and she cooed “My poor pet” you whined as she teased you. “One more time, can you handle it?”

You nodded eagerly and she lifted your shirt revealing your tummy and left marks down your stomach to your pussy once more, you involuntarily bucked your hips and she slammed your hips down against the mattress, she was stronger than she let on. She started licking once more and it drove you crazy, your clit was sensitive from the edging, she sucked on it occasionally. Then slid two fingers inside you again. “Regina” you drew out her name and she bit gently at your clit. “You feel so good..” then you were sure you could feel her smirk between your legs.

Your legs trembled again as she licked over your clit directly and relentlessly. A third finger stretched your pussy, and you moaned her name again and again. You pleaded “Regina please, please let me come, please” you whined out and looked down waiting for approval, but she just looked at you and sucked your clit hard. “Regina, please- fuck! I can’t, I can’t hold it, please I’m all yours please”

You were about to come crashing over the edge and then she lifted her head replacing her tongue with her thumb and she strummed your clit quickly “Go on baby, come for me” You almost screamed her name but she kissed you and muffled your sounds, she pulled away from the kiss.

The only words that came out of your mouth as you came was her name “thank you” and “don’t stop” She loved watching the scene before her. Her collared pet writhing and coming under her touch. Regina only stopped when you pushed her hand away, overstimulated.

She put her fingers in your mouth “Clean up your mess pet” you sat up and licked her fingers clean.

When you finished you kissed her hand and murmured “Thank you for letting me finish” she smiled and grabbed a water bottle from her table and held it to your mouth. Your mouth was dry from moaning her name so much.

“You okay there nerd?” she asked gently. She was worried she was too rough on you.

“I’m all good, my legs just feel like jelly” you gave a soft smile and she leaned down to kiss one of your legs. She smiled back at you.

“You up to return the favor?” she straddled your hips as she waited for your answer. You pulled her by the collar of her shirt like she’s done to you and kissed her.

You let her pull away and said “Of course” and she pulled her panties off.

She moved up so her pussy was right over your mouth, she was practically dripping “Be a good doll and make me feel good” She lowered herself onto your mouth and you greedily licked her pussy, you loved how she tasted and you grabbed her hips to put her full weight onto you.

She groaned and began to grind against your tongue, you guided her hips back and forth and she started to move her hips faster “Oh fuck Y/N” you saw her close her eyes. “You’re such a good fuck toy aren’t you?” you moaned at her words and it sent vibrations through her clit “Do that again baby, touch yourself while I ride you” You reached a hand down between your legs and moaned against her again. Your body was sensitive too and you moaned loudly at how overstimulated your clit was.

Your other hand now moved to her ass and you squeezed it digging your nails into her ass and pushing her further down into your face. “God, you’re so good at pleasing me” she gripped your hair and moaned “Don’t stop, please” she sounded desperate and who were you to deny her pleasure when she asked so nicely?

As she approached her orgasm you felt her legs start to squeeze your head a little, and you also got closer, thrumming your finger against your clit. “Fuck I’m close, are you close baby?” she looked down at you “Can you come with me?” you nodded and sucked her clit harder she moaned your name and streams of obscenities, “Fuck- baby” is what she got out before her back arched and she tilted her head back. You moaned into her as your orgasm followed quickly after. She rode your face prolonging her ecstasy as long as possible and then she lifted off you.

You wiped off your face a little before she kissed you again “You’re perfect” you got out between her kissing you.

She climbed off the bed and held her hand out to you, “Let's get cleaned up, how’s that sound?”

You just took her hand and followed her to the bathroom attached to her room. She turned the shower on and got rid of her shirt, then turned to you, undoing your collar. Then you also stripped your shirt off.

She was so sweet it actually caught you off guard. She let you into the shower and asked “You sure you’re okay?” then started to wash your hair.

“I’m way more than okay Regina” you looked up at her and she continued to wash your hair gently “Did you have fun?” You wondered.

“Mmhm, I rode your face and came all over it, of course, I had fun” She rinsed your hair and you began to soap her hair up as well. You turned her around washed the ends of her hair and kissed her shoulder. "I also enjoy making a mess out of you, I hope I wasn't too rough on you"

"You weren't, it felt amazing" you whispered and placed another kiss on her shoulder.

She took a washcloth and washed her own body. Then turned you around, Regina started to lightly wash your back and shoulders "You're so cute" you heard her say quietly, while she washed the rest of the suds away.

When you hopped out of the shower she handed you a towel and you dried yourself off. You wrapped the towel around yourself and followed her back to the room where she got you clean clothes once again.

Instead of crawling into bed right away, Regina was seated on the edge of her bed and actually patted the empty space next to her, you sat next to her “I want to be very clear to you” her voice was serious with an air of worry to it.

Suddenly you felt like you did something wrong and apologized “Shit Regina did I do something wro-“

She cut you off “No! no, you didn’t,” she said quickly “Just listen okay?” Regina was nervous, and you knew she didn’t like to feel coddled but you grabbed her hand trying to support her and she let you. “I like you Y/N, not just to fuck or for homework” Your jaw dropped and she got defensive. “We don’t have to do this-“

“Regina, you like me like…” you paused to breathe “Crush like me?” you gripped her hand tighter hoping you interpreted that right.

“What other kind of ‘like’ is there for a confession, dumbass” she was rude and then apologetic “Sorry” you just laughed.

“You’re fine Regina, I can take when you’re mean to me” and brought your hand up to your lips and kissed it gently “But why? You have so many other people lined up for you other than me, and I’m like, socially awkward and weird”

“The awkwardness is a little charming” She claimed. “You were also hard to read at first, so quiet too. Like a little mouse”

You smiled "Glad you think so" and you kissed her hand again “You’re a little scary Regina”

“I know it’s a blessing and a curse” She just smiled back at you.

You stared at your intertwined hands “I didn’t know you liked me, like that” you bit your tongue “I thought you were just kidding, I’m kind of slow, aren’t I?”

“A bit,” she smiled “It’s okay loser, I know I send mixed signals sometimes, but I was flirting with you all those times before yesterday just so you know” Shit you were really slow.

You leaned in and kissed her “I like you a lot” You broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. You opened your mouth to say, ‘Please be mine’, but nothing came out.

Regina still looked a little nervous "I meant what I said you know, you're mine" She said possessively, she paused and was about to say something else but you cut in.

"I want you Regina, and I want to be yours as well." You declared

She poked fun at your statement "You're so cheesy" and pushed you away slightly and playfully. "Just get in the bed" You stood and lifted the covers and climbed in and let her in as well.

You laid on your back and she was on her side, she looked at you like she was admiring your features. Then you turned to ogle in realization, dumbfounded, "Wait you're my girlfriend now right?"

She flicked your forehead earning an "Ow" from you. She rolled her eyes "Yes loser, and for someone so smart, you're kinda dumbass too"

You grinned wide, "Your dumbass though right?"

The corners of her lips tugged up slightly, showing she enjoyed your small cheesy banter with her "Shut up"

"Fiiine" You inched closer to her and kissed her passionately, "Goodnight Regina" She turned over and you instinctively wrapped your arms around her.

"Goodnight nerd" she said tiredly.

You smirked and mumbled quietly "Your nerd" and you just heard a tsk sound and fell asleep with this beautiful goddess in your arms.

(heyyyy just wanted to add here at the bottom, that i moved really fast with all the kinky shit and collar stuff. this isn’t a perfect representation of bdsm, so please do your research! [I might rewrite a version of this over on ao3 to be longer so i can better portray that stuff realistically {also it’s because i feel bad}])

#renee rapp #regina george #mean girls #smut #regina george x reader #regina george x you #x reader

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lesservillain · 3 months

Text

alpha!eddie munson x omega!reader

cw: omegaverse, soul bonding, scenting, knotting, unprotected piv, breeding, semi public sex, pregnancy

an: part of the school days universe.

Five days.

It’s only been five days since you started your newest substitute teaching job at Hawkins High School.

Well, scratch that. It’s only second period, so you can really only say it’s been four days, barely 9 am even, but it’s already been just as hellish as the rest of the week.

Monday started with you not being able to find a parking spot, having to park down the road and run into class. Turns out you were trying to park in student parking and weren’t aware of the back lot for the teachers to park in.

Tuesday you dumped your coffee that you waited way too long in line for all over your notes from the teacher you were subbing for. Thankfully it was only the current week's curriculum and you were able to decipher the notes enough to get the gist of what you needed to be doing, but it was still a pain in the ass.

Wednesday your tire went flat on the way to work. Thankfully one of the other teachers, Mr.Harrington, just happened to be driving by and gave you a ride the rest of the way. You were able to call a tow truck to take your car to a nearby body shop that you walked to after work. You’re pretty sure the guy overcharged you for the tire but you were too exhausted to argue.

Thursday, oh Thursday, your students in your second period class decided that they weren’t going to take you seriously, making rude noises and disrupting class with unrelated questions, and randomly scenting just to get under your skin. This period was heavy with new alphas, and if you hadn’t been warned ahead of time, you could tell by the way they all behaved. The teacher you were subbing for was able to reign them all in somehow, but you were struggling with getting them to listen to anything you had to say.

So, naturally, this would be the class that would see your Friday turn into the worst day of the week so far.

There was only 10 minutes left in the class. There had been some rowdiness, but not nearly as bad as the day before. You were so close to moving on to your easier classes of the day when a water pipe decided to burst directly above you, breaking the ceiling tile and completely drenching you in cold water.

Everything was still for a single beat, until the silence was cut by the boisterous laughter of the 22 seniors who watched the incident happen in real time. After the initial shock, you yelled at them to be quiet, more stern than you’ve ever been in your life, and told them to read the chapter on their own while you called the office.

As you turned to go to your desk, you caught your reflection in the window and were instantly reminded that you were wearing a white shirt today, the deep magenta of your bra very visible now due to the state of your top.

Embarrassment is one thing, but when you remember the morning you had, it just pisses you off more than anything. You had initially put on a blue top when you woke up this morning, but, on top of everything else you were dealing with this week, you were also having to take care of your fiance, Dave, during his rut as well, which was a job all on its own.

He insisted that he wouldn’t be able to wait for you to get home with the pain he was in, so you let him get in a quickie while you were brushing your teeth. He also refused to wear a condom, telling you the pain would subside for longer if he could feel you. But, you weren’t falling for his tricks, and as soon as you felt his knot starting to swell you pulled away from him, ending up with his spend all over the back of your shirt.

Which led you to now, where you sit at your desk with your head down and your arms crossed over your chest trying to hold back tears as you wait for the maintenance guy to come look at the ceiling. You could hear the snickering and teasing whispers from your students but were too defeated to tell them to do their work. Only when you got a faint smell of cinnamon spice and warm smoke did you finally speak up.

“Whoever is scenting right now, knock it off before I write you up.”

Low murmuring and a voice quietly saying “it wasn’t me” to another student's accusation were the only response you received. But the smell only got stronger.

Stronger to the point where you felt your body shiver for a moment. It made your body heat up in a way you haven’t felt in a while, your thighs rubbing together subtly under your desk.

You lifted your head to yell at your students again, but was interrupted by a knock on the classroom door before you could speak. The scent was so strong now that there was no way it was from an immature alpha. that you felt dizzy when you turned your head to see who was entering your classroom.

As your vision settled on the figure before you, you felt like your breath had been knocked out of you. A tall man with beautiful curly brown hair and big, brown eyes took a few steps into the classroom. He was silent, gawking at you in the same way you must be looking at him.

“H-hi, I’m Eddie,” he stuttered, being the first to speak once the giggling from the students brought him back to reality. When you hear his name for the first time, you swear you can hear bells ringing in the distance.

“I’m here to check your pipes.” Another round of laughter fills the room, causing you to run your hands over your face and down to the back of your neck.

“Guys, please—”

“That’s enough.”

The scent surrounding you peaks as a weight falls over the room. The students fall silent, but your head reels as you feel your body heat up. It felt like the beginning of your heat, but it was nowhere close to being due thanks to your suppressants.

After a beat, the tension was interrupted by the sound of the bell. And just as quickly as it came, the thick hold on the room was gone. Your students quickly grabbed their things and exited the room without a word.

You fan yourself as you feel the fever begin to dissipate. Eddie walks over to your side, concern sewed into his features as his eyes searched your face.

“Are you okay? I didn’t think I had scented so strongly…”

“Gosh, yes, I’m sorry,” you say, shaking your head to get back into your professional mindset. “I’m fine, just a little stressed.” You introduce yourself to him, extending a hand to him out of habit. You see his eyes go wide before darting to the side, his cheeks tinted pink.

You suddenly remember the state of your attire and quickly curl into yourself again, spewing apologies in an attempt to save any respect that he may have for you.

“Hey, it’s cool,” he laughs your embarrassment off, eyes still on anything other than you. “Do you, uh, want something to wear over that?” He’s pointing over his shoulder, taking a few steps back towards the door. Before you can really respond, he’s gone, almost running into a group of students as they begin to fill your class for the next period.

As your third period class enters, you tell the students to take their seats until you can figure out how class is going to go. A few minutes later, Eddie returns with his hands full and pushes a mop bucket into the room. He places a wet floor sign in the middle of the room to free his hands before he’s handing you a black sweater. You thank him quietly when you take it, vision drawn to the chunky silver rings on his…really thick fingers.

You pull the sweater over your head and are immediately dizzy with the strong smell from before, mixed with a faint smell of cigarettes and sweat in the collar. The well worn sweater with frayed cuffs was soft and warm, the Metallica logo in dark gray letters displayed across the front covers your shame, allowing you to finally leave your desk.

As you rise to your feet, you catch the way Eddie is staring at you out of the corner of your eye. Was he thinking about your wet shirt under his sweater? Why do you hope that he is?

“Thank you,” you say, subconsciously pulling the fabric to your nose for a moment. Eddie stares at you for a moment, sucking in a deep breath of air before nodding wordlessly.

“Yeah, no, uh, no problem,” he murmurs, breathing out with a huff, a small smile tugging on his lips. The second bell rings to signal the start of the next period, making Eddie jump and look around. “Oh, yeah, um, when is your free period?”

“Not until fifth period.”

“Okay,” he says, bouncing his head as he looks at the water still puddled on the floor. “Do you want me to mop this up now, or do it when I come back? I don’t want to interrupt your class.”

“That’s okay,” you say with a wave of the hand, “My next two classes are taking a test today. So as long as you’re not giving them any answers, you won’t be a problem.”

Eddie nods and gets to work, doing his best to stay out of your way while you get through your two classes. You do your best not to let yourself be distracted by him, keeping busy with grading papers and prepping your chalkboard for your last classes of the day. You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t take little glances at him as he worked. Maybe you noticed the way the sleeves of his shirt hugged his biceps when he carried his ladder in between classes. Maybe you let yourself indulge in the flash of his toned stomach when he lifted his shirt briefly to wipe his brow. Maybe you stared at his ass while he picked up the broken ceiling tile pieces off the floor.

In the back of your mind you knew you shouldn’t be looking, especially when you have a fiance waiting for you back home. You’re not even the type of person to ogle someone the way you are right now.

But something about Eddie’s presence was making you feel…different. Domestic. Like there was a misplaced pride in his ability to do his own job. You wanted to praise him for being a big strong alpha—your big strong alpha.

One of your students hesitates at your desk as she drops off her test, pulling you out of your fantasy. She’s one of the more quiet students, so you ask her if she needs anything as she continues to hover next to you.

“Um,” she pauses for a moment, looking over at Eddie just as he walks out of the room. She says your name quietly, leaning in a bit to whisper, “Are you and Mr.Eddie dating?”

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth to suppress the laugh that naturally pulled from your chest at the question.

“No, we are not,” you answer. You tilt your head inquisitively, “Why do you ask?”

“Because you’re wearing his sweater. Usually people wear their boyfriends sweaters when they’re dating…”she comments as she points at the offending garment.

You smile at her, “I’m just borrowing it. I’ll be giving it back at the end of the day.”

She’s quiet for a moment, and you think that maybe the answer was enough for her. But she leans in to whisper again, “But why has he been staring at you all of class?”

A warm feeling washes over your chest at her words. Has he been keeping an eye on you? How did you not notice? Was he just keeping an eye on you or was he checking you out?

Before you could answer her, Eddie walks back into the room and your student hurriedly made her way back to her desk. You can’t help but watch him as he adjusts the tool belt that sets on his hips, a screwdriver being held between his lips as he does. As he grabs it from his mouth, you catch him looking at you for the first time. You wait for him to shy away like he did before, but instead he winks at you—fucking winks at you, before making his way back up the ladder.

The butterflies you felt in your tummy make you feel like a teen again. You don’t even know who you are right now. Have you just been so miserable in your current relationship for so long that you’re just happy to have another alpha’s attention? That can’t be, because you hate the attention that other alphas give you when you’re out on your own.

You’re not sure what it is, but as your classes end and your free period rolls in, you ask him if he wants to eat his lunch with you, giddy when he agrees.

“Is that seriously all you’re eating?”

Eddie pulled his ladder up to your desk and sat on one of the steps with a single large can of snack pretzels in one hand and a can of off brand cola in the other. He looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights as you scold him for not bringing more to eat.

“Here,” you hand him a container of some leftover mac and cheese you made from the night before, “eat this please. I think I have a granola bar in my bag, too.”

“Woah, there, sweetheart,” he laughs as you start rifling through your bag. “I don’t need you to feed me. This has been my lunch since I was in middle school, so I’m set.”

You frown at him, not satisfied with the lackluster lunch he wanted to partake in. “What if I made you a lunch? Would you eat it?”

The rosy tint dusts his cheeks once again. A toothy grin spreads across his face as he gives you a shy side eye.

“I mean, I wouldn’t want your food to go to waste, but you really don’t have to worry about me.”

Wrong. The more you’re around him, the more you feel like you need to dote on him. You want to touch him, put your head on his shoulder, hold his hand. You want to go home with him and cook him dinner and wash his hair and have him hold you while the two of you sleep side by side in your shared bed. Every sweet word he says to you pulls you in like a fly to honey.

And when your hand accidentally brushes his, you both take in a deep breath at the same time, and you know he felt the same surge through his body as you. His gaze meets yours, chests raising and falling in anticipation as the two of you wait for the other to say something—do something.

But something doesn’t come, because the bell ringing once again makes the both of you jump, not realizing how close the two of you had gotten. Eddie jumps up from his seat on the ladder, grabbing his pitiful lunch and booking it out the door.

His sudden absence makes you sad, missing him more than you reasonably should. And as you sit alone, with the shuffling of feet outside your classroom creating a white noise that lets you slip into your mind, you can’t help but think about your life with David.

He’s supposed to be your alpha. The one you’ve been with since high school since you both presented around the same time. He’s the only person you’ve ever been with, never really desiring anyone else but him before. He works a good job, bought a house for the both of you, and wants to have a family with you, the latter being the only thing the two of you never agreed on, not wanting kids despite the natural instincts of your second gender.

But, as you think about the man you laid eyes on this morning, who has made you feel more in the 4 total hours that you’ve known him than you’ve felt in the last decade with David, you think you’d give everything you have up to be with him. It scares the shit out of you to feel that way. It’s as if something has taken over your brain and completely rewired it to be all about Eddie.

Maybe the afternoon away from him would give you time to clear your head. Putting all your mental effort into your remaining senior classes, you manage to keep your mind occupied for the most part. You swear that you can smell his scent every once in a while, but convince yourself that you’re just imagining it.

As the final bell rings for the day, you plop down in your chair and just let yourself decompress. You begin to think maybe this job was something that was more than you’d be able to handle, that you’d bitten off more than you could chew. You’d been subbing for a year now, but this was the first time you’d ever been this overwhelmed after just a week. You could always go and talk to the principal now and let them know you wouldn’t be back on Monday. Someone else could deal with—

Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. You roll your head to the side to find Eddie in your classroom's doorway once again.

“Come to finish the job?” You ask tiredly.

“That’s one of the things I’m here for,” Eddie says with a nervous chuckle.

He takes long strides to your side, his hands in his pockets as his feet shuffle beneath him.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just…I just wanted to know if, maybe, you’d like to go out with me sometime?”

You’re completely caught off guard by his request. A warmth blooms in your chest before promptly sinking into your stomach, forming into a solid rock of guilt and confusion.

“I…I’m sorry Eddie, I can’t.” You should probably put more effort into sounding sincere rather than disappointed. But your heart was truly distraught at having to turn him down.

“Oh, yeah, no, it’s cool,” he stutters, trying to play it cool as he takes in your rejection. “I didn’t mean to—I mean, I just, um, I just thought we had some chemistry or something…”

“Well, you wouldn’t be the only one who thought that. But, I have a boyfriend— a fiance, rather, and I—”

“Hey, it’s cool, I understand,” he waves you off as he takes hurried steps backwards towards the door. “Just forget I asked. Um, I’ll see you around I guess.” He gives you a weak smile before backing out of the classroom and into the hall again.

“Yeah, see you around,” you mutter to yourself.

Before you could even fully turn the lock on your front door it was being yanked open, David standing on the other side of the door panting like he had just run a marathon. Without warning, he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you inside of your shared home and something immediately feels off.

The first thing you notice as you cross the threshold is that you can’t smell anything. The house has smelled like nothing but David’s musk since his rut started on Sunday, but now it just smells like your normal house. It doesn’t make sense, because he’s clearly going through it just as he was this morning.

David’s nose scrunches when he finally gets close to you, almost immediately stumbling back against the wall to get as far away from you as possible.

“What the fuck?” He scowls, looking you up and down with wild eyes. “What the hell are you wearing?”

Oh fuck.

You were still wearing Eddie’s sweater.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you say as you scramble to pull the sweater off, sneaking one last inhale as it lifts over your head. “I had an incident at school and one of my coworkers let me borrow his sweater.”

“You took clothes from another alpha?” David’s voice was uncharacteristically stern, likely from the adrenaline of his rut. He’d never been an angry man, even with his natural alpha tendencies, but the way he was looking at you right now made you feel real fear.

“I needed something to cover myself—“

“You fucking reek,” he says hand flying over his nose to shield himself from the lingering smell of Eddie.

The fear quickly turns into annoyance at his insult. You weren’t about to deal with this attitude he was giving you, so you rolled your eyes and pushed past him, making your way straight to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

After taking your sweet time to wash away the stress of the day, you emerge from the bathroom feeling refreshed. You’re surprised to see David sitting on the edge of the bed, face buried in his hands only to run them through his hair as you enter the bedroom.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing he blurts out, “I shouldn’t have acted like that.” You can tell he’s being genuine, and you can’t help but feel bad yourself. “I just, with the rut and everything, it makes me feel like the hulk when any little thing sets me off. And I’ve been feeling like shit all day while you were gone, so when you came home smelling like another alpha…”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” you coo as you take his face in your hands, the warmth of his fever hot against your palms. “I didn’t think about how it would have bothered you. I was going to give him the sweater back at the end of the day but—“

Thoughts of your day spent with Eddie floods back into your mind. The way that his presence made you feel whole, like a part of you that was missing all these years had appeared right in front of you and changed how you think about everything. It makes you realize that the sympathy you’re having for your fiance right now isn’t out of love, or guilt that you may have betrayed him.

Rather, you feel as if you’re tending to a child that’s fallen on the playground. It’s nothing more than your natural instinct to nurture, to protect. Even more so, you realize it’s not love.

“But…something came up and he left before I could give it back.”

He nods his head in your hands, letting out a small okay. You feel him pull at your hips, bringing you closer for him to rest his head on your stomach. You run your nails over his scalp, and he lets out little muffled moans against your towel in response.

When he looks up at you, his pupils fully dilated and filled with hunger, you let him pull your towel from your body to gather around your feet on the floor.

Your back hits the mattress and David is on you moments later. His kisses are soft, his gentle hands touching over all the right places that he’s grown to learn over the years of your relationship.

He’s doing everything right, and yet you can’t help the nauseating feeling that curdles in your stomach with each passing second. Everything feels wrong. His touch is like poison, and your body is screaming at you to get as far away from him as possible. But you fight it down in hopes that this feeling will go away.

It’s only when he aligns himself with your entrance that the feeling becomes too much. You pull away from him as quickly as you can and book it straight to the bathroom to empty your stomach contents into the toilet.

The bell rings out just as you finish up with your fourth period class.

“Don’t forget your first drafts are due at the beginning of class tomorrow!” You call out as the students collect their things and make their way to the halls.

The loud rumbling in your stomach has you quickly taking your seat at your desk, opening the bottom drawer to pull out your lunch. Over the last month you’d come to understand that eating in your classroom was the best option for your sanity, because if any time you left the safety of your room, you were immediately overwhelmed by the scent of Eddie.

The two of you had barely talked since you turned him down. You kept trying to return his sweater to him, but it seemed like he was actively avoiding you, even if his scent lingered on everything he touched in the whole school.

You felt bad that things had become awkward between the two of you. There was nothing you wanted more than to talk to him. You missed him in a way that you still don’t understand.

“Hey, there’s cupcakes in the break room if you want one.” Steve’s voice pulls you from your sulking. The mention of sweets has your ears perked.

“Oooooooh, really? What’s the occasion?” You ask as you rise from your seat, excitedly meeting him at the door to walk with him.

“Teacher appreciation week,” he says with air quotes. You both roll your eyes, just thankful to be getting something.

As you make your way to the break room, the two of you talk about your classes and what your plans are for spring break next week.

“We’re finishing up the baby’s room,” he says with glee when you ask. “We picked a really nice green color the other day when we were out. Did I even tell you about that whole ordeal? How we ran into her ex at the department store?”

“What? No! What happened?”

You welcomed the distraction of Steve’s story as it helped keep your mind off of Eddie. After a month you’d thought that it wouldn’t be so strong, or that maybe you’d get used to it. But every passing day it seems like it gets worse.

Before you could follow Steve passed the threshold of the teachers lounge, Eddie’s scent becomes amplified to the point it stops you in your tracks.

“Woah, are you okay?” He asks, taking a step towards you. You hadn’t even realized that you’d stopped moving, your arm outstretched against the wall to steady yourself.

“Y—yeah I…” You feel yourself sway, a sweat breaking out as your body temperature begins to creep higher. “It’s probably just a hot flash or something,” you say as you fan yourself with your hand, “Had to switch my suppressants recently and they said that feeling hot could be a side effect.”

“Shit, let me get you some water or something—”

“Move.”

Before you can process what’s happening, you feel your body being lifted off your feet. When you look up to see who has swept you off your feet, you’re both surprised and relieved to be matching the gaze of two beautiful brown eyes, pupils blown out and almost swallowing their irises whole. You wrap your arms around Eddie’s neck instinctively, burying your face in his neck to inhale his scent. He shutters against you as you exhale into him.

You’re so overcome by his scent that you didn’t notice he had taken off with you until he’s shifting you in his grasp, holding you with one hand as he fumbles with his keys until he’s kicking open the door to…a closet?

He locks the door behind him and plops you down in a chair that sits in front of what you presume to be his desk. All around you are shelves of cleaning supplies, tools, and other random supplies that you’d not be surprised to be in possession of a custodian. On the wall behind the desk are a few band posters and a cork board littered with post it notes and work safety sheets.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Eddie’s frustrated statement grabs your attention as he stands in front of you, leaning back on the desk with a hand running through his hair.

“Are you, like, punishing me for asking you out? Were you so repulsed by me asking you that you’re punishing me by driving me insane?”

It takes a moment for your brain to properly dissect what he’s asking you, the statement so bewildering to you that you honestly think he’s joking at first. But the hurt look on his face has you shifting forward in your seat, practically on the edge as you look up at him.

“Eddie, no,” you plead with him, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I wasn’t offended at all…I don’t understand how I’m punishing you either.”

He scoffs, rolling his eyes before meeting yours, “You’re joking. You’re telling me you haven’t been scenting around the school to get me worked up? I swear I can still smell you in my clothes when I leave at the end of the day. I figured that since you and Steve have gotten all buddy-buddy that you knew he was mark bonded and wouldn’t be able to smell you, so you’d just been freely scenting to fuck with me for the last month.”

“What? If anyone has been free scenting it’s you! I try not to leave my classroom if I don’t have to because I can smell you everywhere. Every day I have to book it straight to my desk because it’s so strong it makes me dizzy!”

The two of you are quiet for a moment, both huffing after yelling at one another, you still feeling like you’re in a haze in such close proximity to him now. He curses under his breath as he stands, pacing back and forth in front of you as he thinks.

“You’re making me nervous,” you state as you watch him move in front of you.

He stalls, turning his whole body towards you but keeping his eyes down.

“I don’t understand,” he grits out, “I’m definitely not scenting, and you said you’re also not scenting, but I swear you’re the only thing that has any sort of effect on me anymore. The smell of my coffee in the morning isn’t as strong, the smell of the oil leaking from my van didn’t bother me when I fixed it. Hell, I cleaned up puke the other week and your scent made it easier to keep my own lunch down.”

“It’s the same for me…” He looks up at you. “All the smells, I’m going through the same thing…But something else has changed for me, too.” You think back over the events of the last month, “I don’t know why, but ever since that day…I can’t get you off of my mind. These little fantasies run through my head with everything I do. Like when I go to the store, I think about what foods you might like, or when I clean around the house I think about you coming home and telling me that I did a good job. Little things like that, that I never really even thought about with my ex. At least, not in the same way I think about you.”

“Ex?”

The tone of his voice has goosebumps running down your arms and legs. The room begins to feel heavy, similar to how it felt that day when he took control over the classroom. It felt like the air was being sucked out of your lungs and replaced with him. And every stride he took towards you felt like a bag of sand dropping on your back until you were struggling to look up at him as he moved in front of you, crouching down to eye level.

“What happened, sweetheart?” His voice is smooth like honey, pulling you in with his sweetness in a way that made you feel vulnerable. You couldn’t lie to him. Not Eddie.

“I couldn’t…he made me sick,” you start, “Every time we tried to…”

“Tried to what? Use your words.” The mix of his scent and the way he was talking to you was making the heat in your body travel straight to your core.

“Anytime we tried to have sex, I would get sick. Even if I wanted to—”

“Did you really want to, though?” His head tilts to the side as he questions you, “Or were you just trying and failing to get me out of your head?”

Your body sways, his words have you feeling dizzy because he’s right. All of a sudden your clothes felt too tight, and the room was too hot, and you just wanted those big, strong arms back on your body.

“Answer me.”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, whenever I was with my ex, I wished it was you. But—but, not enough to make me sick. I don’t know why, it’s like my body was rejecting him.”

It’s silent besides your heavy breathing for a moment. Eddie stands once more, towering over you as he places his palm gently on your cheek. You instantly lean into his touch, humming in satisfaction as his leaves gentle caresses on your skin.

“I’m, uh, having the opposite problem,” he says with a hint of embarrassment. “I feel like I can’t…satisfy myself, but I’m constantly worked up whenever I think about you. Fucking my fist multiple times a day wishing it was your pussy instead.”

His thumb glides across your cheek, landing on your bottom lip and pulling it down before letting it snap back into place. Your lips part slightly in response, an open invitation for his thumb to push its way in, which he gladly accepts. He pushes it as far in as it can go, watching as you hollow your cheeks and suck on the digit before he pulls it out with a pop.

“F-f-f-f-fuuuck,” he breathes out through gritted teeth. He grips your cheeks, not too rough, but enough to make your lips pout as he tilts your head back to look up at him.

Eddie searches your face for any signs of discomfort, but is only met with the half lidded, fucked out look your giving him through your lashes, brain completely empty as you wait for him make his next move.

Fireworks erupt under your skin as his chapped lips crash into yours with enough force to push you back in your chair. Every cheesy rom-com that you’ve ever watched finally made sense as you felt the electricity light strike in your abdomen and back through every vein in your body. This was what you’d been waiting for in every other kiss that you’ve experienced in your life.

And, all at once, the sparks peak, before surging straight between your legs, a wave of slick gushing from you and soaking the seat below.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie breathes, looking at your lap with a pained expression. Meanwhile, your eyes are locked on the ever growing bulge in his work pants, drool pooling in your mouth as his blue jeans strain from the size of him.

He lunges towards you, mouth agape to meet with yours before the sound of the bell stops either of you in your tracks. You hear a crack next to your head that makes you jump. When you look you see that Eddie has cracked the wood of the chair with his bare hands, muscles and veins popping from the strain.

“Eddie—“

“Don’t go,” he begs, his voice low and gravely, “I can’t let you go again. I need you.”

He sounds so pathetic. All the still working parts of your brain start to go hazy at his groveling. He needs you. And you need him.

The shrill sound of the phone ringing on his desk pulls Eddie away from you with a huff. His eyes don't leave you as he picks up the receiver, growling “what” to whoever was on the other line.

As he listens, though, Eddie’s brows lift in surprise, followed by a Cheshire grin. “Consider us even then,” he says into the phone before he slams it back down.

“W-who was that?”

He lets out a chuckle. He sauntered over to you with a dark look in his eyes, leaning in until he’s barely an inch from your face.

“That was our good friend, Steve. He said he let the principal know you had to go home sick and got someone to cover your classes.”

Your breath hitched. Your mind was a whirl of everything Eddie you had almost forgotten that you still had classes to teach. You try to take a mental note to thank Steve later, hoping it doesn’t get lost in your mind.

“If that’s what you want, anyway. Could always go back to class—”

You surge forward, lips meeting his in a fevered kiss. “No, no,” you murmur against his lips, fingers tangling in his curls, “want you, Eddie. Don’t make me go back.”

What you don’t expect is to feel his hands grip you under the fat of your ass and lift you up from the chair. He turns the both of you around, using one hand to knock the things off of his desk before placing you on top of it with a squeak from you on impact, all the while his lips glued to yours.

His hands make quick work with the buttons on your blouse and he moves down your neck, leaving kisses and little bruises across your skin.

You feel him slotting between your legs, your pencil skirt riding up so his hard length could press against your clothed pussy. The denim of his jeans turn dark as slick continues to soak through your panties, your hips bucking against him as the familiar ache of your heat senses what you need only a few pieces of fabric away.

As soon as Eddie opens your blouse, he’s ripping the cups of your bra with a force that causes your whole body to move, making your tit bounce in recoil.

“Of course they’d be perfect,” he groans, pulling back, completely enamored at the sight of you before him. His big hands grab and kneads at the flesh, taking your nipples between his fingers and rolling them. Your back arches as the sensation, and the drag of your sensitive clit against the denim only makes you moan louder.

Eddie pushes himself into you more, reveling in the feeling of you grinding against him and soaking his leg. He takes a nipple into his mouth and sucks, letting his tongue swirl around it.

It’s all too much, your head spinning as everything seems amplified under his touch. Your hands scramble to grab the hem of his shirt, pulling the black polo and flimsily attempt to pull it off of him. You feel him grin against the skin of your breast before pulling off with a pop.

“Impatient, aren’t we?” Eddie asks as he pulls the shirt over his head, as if he isn’t using every ounce of self control to keep him from completely devouring you. He wants to sink his teeth into you and never let go, but he can’t scare you off, not when he’s finally got you exactly how he wants you.

Your mouth drops as his body is revealed to you. His slim, but built frame littered with tattoos you would never know he had unless you were to get him like this. Your eyes trail down his chest, his abdomen, all the way down to where his happy trail leads beneath his jeans. The urge to run your fingers through it takes over, your pointer and middle finger dragging from his belly button until they catch on his belt buckle, his stomach flexing under your touch.

You grab at his belt, pulling him towards you until you can get a good enough grip to undo it, pulling down his pants until they drop to the floor with a thud. The boxers that remain sport a very large tent in them, and you swear you can see him twitching under your gaze.

His head falls back as your hand gently glides over him, rubbing the fabric into his leaky tip more, expanding the wet patch that was already forming there. Eddie watches you bring your fingers to your mouth to taste the sticky mess that you collected, your body going boneless when it hits your tongue. It’s like nothing that’s ever graced your taste buds before, making your eyes roll back in your head as your body craves for more.

Watching the way you react to him is Eddie’s final straw. His vision tunnels, completely focused on you as the primal part of his brain takes control. Suddenly, he’s pushing you back down into the desk, manhandling you as he tears through your pantyhose, ripping your panties in half until your bare pussy is on display for him.

Ducking down without warning, he spreads your legs apart and runs his thick, long tongue through your sopping folds. He inhales your scent, the bulb of his nose bumping into your clit in a way that sends zings of pleasure throughout your body. The tip of his tongue pushes its way into your hole, the thick muscle reaching as far as it can to lap up your sweet nectar from the source. Your hands fly to the top of his head, gripping tightly in an attempt to anchor yourself to this plane of existence while your orgasm rips through you. His name falls from your lips over and over as your vision goes white, blinding you with pleasure.

When you come back to your body you feel his hot breath fanning across your cheek, wet lips pressing into the side of your neck as he whispers sweet words into your ear.

“There she is,” he says once your eyes flutter open, “That feel good, pretty girl?”

You nod your head dumbly, making him chuckle.

“Can I make you feel like that again? Wanna make you feel so good on my cock, sweetheart. Don’t think I can hold back anymore.”

You feel the way he’s rubbing his tip through your folds, hand gripping at the base with all the self restraint in the world. The precum leaking from his tip mixing with your own slick creating a sticky mess between your lips.

“Pleasepleaseplease,” you beg, canting your hips to match his movements, gasping when his head catches on your entrance.

That’s all Eddie needs to hear. Lining up with your entrance, he pushes his way into you. The stretch is like nothing you’ve ever experienced. David was an alpha, so naturally he was big, but this? You could feel every ridge and vein of Eddie’s cock as he buried himself deeper inside you. The way his tip pressed against your cervix sent a fresh wave of arousal through you and all over Eddie’s desk.

There was barely time to adjust before Eddie was pistoning in and out of you. His hands white knuckle the skirt still sitting at your waist, using it as leverage to keep you in place while he fucks into your tight cunt. Your hands scramble to find something to hold on to, ultimately settling on Eddie’s forearms as your whole body shakes with each thrust.

“Ohhhh fuck me, fuck me, fuck me,” you moan in tandem with every movement. Your brain gone, completely replaced with Eddie and never wanting this to end.

“Fuck, Eddie, please.”

“What is it, baby girl? What does my girl need?”

Hearing his voice, the way he calls you his girl lights a fire in your belly. You’d take anything he would give you right now. Anything he wants from you, you’d give him.

“Want yo-o-o-o-ou,” you pant, “Oh, fuck! Want you so bad!”

“I’m right here, sweetheart.”

Eddie leans down, his lips pressing into yours tenderly. You wrap your arms around his neck, pinning him to you until he gets the hint, letting his body weight press into you until you’re chest to chest. His tempo slows down to a sensual drag in and out. One hand grabs at your leg, bending it forward to open you up for him more. He feels impossibly deep inside of you as his head bullies that spot deep inside you.

“Is this what you needed, princess? Just needed me to get closer to you?” His face is pressed into your cheek, eyes threatening to close as he feels his resolve lessening with each passing moment that he’s inside you. But he needs you to come undone on his cock one more time before he can let go.

“Yes, thank you, thank you, Eddie, mmmmm,” the words fall from your mouth with no thought, your only focus on the pleasure that’s building up inside you. Your walls clenching around Eddie’s cock like a vice as you get closer and closer to the edge.

But, in tandem with your imminent orgasm, the dull ache inside you grows as well, blooming with a need that’s almost painful to bear.

“Eddie.”

The breathy, desperate tone in your voice has Eddie pulling back just enough to look at you. A picture of almost pure lust, say for the concerning pinch in your brows.

“I know, you’re so close, baby. Can feel you gripping me so tight,” he coos down at you. But you shake your head, trying your best to meet his eyes as you try to speak, willing him to just know what you want.

“Want it. Want it. Want it,” is all you can muster out.

“What do you want, baby girl?”

“Knot. Knot, please.”

Eddie’s movements still immediately, making you whine. He straightens up completely, looking down at you darkly, his frizzy curls a wild halo around his head as it blocks the light above.

He takes a deep breath in, nostrils flaring on the exhale, “You know what’ll happen if I do that, right? I’m not on anything that would stop—”

“Yes!” You cry, too frustrated and needy for him to move again that you begin moving on your own, fucking yourself on his cock. “Eddie, I want it so bad! Please, wanna be your girl. Want everyone to know I’m your girl.”

Before you can react, Eddie is grabbing you and flipping you over on his desk, almost knocking his computer down in the process. Only a moment later do you feel him pushing back into you with one quick thrust. His hand wraps around the back of your throat, not tight, but enough to keep you pinned down for him as he fucks you. There’s no purpose to his thrusts other than to chase his own high, but the brutal fuck and anticipation of whats to come is enough to finally push you past that breaking point.

The sound of your slick hitting the floor beneath you and the impossible grip your cunt has on his cock has Eddie following not far behind you. Just as you feel his hips falter, you feel a pressure building inside you, pushing at your walls until they’ve reached their limit. It’s painful, until it’s not. Quickly turning into an overwhelming pleasure, you feel yourself cumming again in quick succession as you feel the hot ropes of Eddie’s spend hit your cervix, filling you with an endless stream and then some.

The pressure of Eddie’s body folding limply on top of you feels amazing, the skin to skin soothing you as your still hazy mind craves him. You feel his lips on your shoulder, trailing kisses across your back until he reaches the center, just below the base of your neck. You fully expected him to continue on, simply loving on your body as you wait for him to fully finish.

What you weren’t expecting was for his teeth to sink into the skin of your scent gland. The feeling of his teeth on you is startling, and for a moment you think about your high school health class, where your teacher told you that when you bond with an alpha it would feel like the chemistry of your brain would change. There would be an instant shift that would change everything and, and…you feel nothing.

Well, not nothing. Being wrapped up in Eddie feels like being wrapped up in a blanket by a fire on a cold winter night, like warm water on sore muscles after a long day. It feels like the pieces of the puzzle have all fallen into place. It’s not big or loud, rather, it feels like home. He feels like home.

“Are you okay?” Eddie’s voice comes out muffled against your skin, his lips still pressed against your neck before he starts to rub his face over the gland.

“Mhmm,” you purr, moving your hand to lace over his on the desk, the cool metal of his rings a stark contrast to your hot skin. “M’back’s a little sore, though,” you say as you can feel your body starting to ache from the position you’re in.

Eddie pushes off of you quickly, almost pulling you with him as his shaky legs threaten to fold from how quickly he moved.

You push off of his desk like a cat stretching after a nap, shivers running down your spine as the shift presses Eddie’s still hard cock further inside you.

“Does it hurt?”

You look over your shoulder to see Eddie mesmerized on the way his knot has you over stuffed, feeling the resistance when your bodies tug apart.

The wide eyed look on his face lights the flame in your belly again. Eyes still on him, you start to rock back and forth slowly on him. You’re barely moving with your limited range, but the way he sucks in his breath at the feeling only fans the flames in you more.

“It doesn’t hurt,” you say in a sultry voice, catching his attention now. “Have you never knotted anyone before, Eddie?”

Brown curls bounce as he shakes his head. He swallows thickly, “N-no, I haven’t.”

You moan out at his confession, clenching down on him. And he whimpers, eyes clenched shut as you continue to gently rock against him.

“H-have you ever been knotted before?” He’s panting now. Standing completely still as he watches you fuck yourself on his cock.

You lean against the desk in front of you, the edge hitting your clit just right as you start to grind against it. “Only once,” you say between huffs, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge again. “It didn’t feel this good, though, fuck.”

“Oh, god—“ Eddie’s hands grip at your hips to still your movements, and you can feel a fresh wave of his cum spilling into your already stuffed cunt. The pressure pushes you over the edge with him, a silent scream on your lips as your body shakes in his grip.

He’s panting like he ran a marathon with a bruising grip still on your hips. It takes a moment for him to catch his breath, but when he does, he’s wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him.

You yelp as he sits back in the chair and situates you in his lap. You’re able to turn your body on his knot, curling into him so your face is buried in his neck, breathing him in. Calloused fingers run up and down your thigh soothingly, leaving tingles in their wake.

“Eddie?” You’re the first to break the silence. His head shifts your way, but his eyes are still trained on where his fingers dance on your skin.

“Hmm?”

“When you bit me, did you feel…anything?”

The corners of his lips curl into a smile, like you had just told him a joke or something.

“Nah,” he said with a chuckle. You almost felt as if he was making fun of you, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout.

“Oh, what’s this face for, hmm?” He grabs your face and pretends to bite at it, making you laugh as you turn away from him.

“Stoooop,” you whine, but your cheeks start to ache with how hard you’re smiling. “Are you making fun of me?”

“What? Why would I make fun of you?”

“Because I was being serious when I asked you about the bite! They always told us that it’s this huge deal to bond with someone so I thought it was going to be like New Year's Day in my mind or something!”

“Are you saying I didn’t totally blow your mind just now—OW!”

You bite Eddie's shoulder playfully, giggling and kicking as he tries to get his revenge by tickling your side.

“Okay! Okay! You totally blew my mind! I give!”

“That’s what I thought,” he says as he lands a quick peck to your lips, making you feel giddy at the contact. “But I promise I’m not laughing at you. I’m just…”

He looks down for a moment before meeting your gaze again with a look a lot less playful than just a moment ago.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to hear me out on this, alright?”

You nod, giving him your undivided attention as he speaks.

“So, like, I don’t know if you would even remember, but that day when we met, when I first saw you I heard these, like, bells ringing in my ears. And not like when your ears ring after listening to loud music, but, like, little chimes or something. At the time I didn’t think anything about it, but when I talked to Steve and my friend Nancy about it later, they told me that they heard the same thing when they had marked their partners.”

Your eyes go wide, heart fluttering in your chest.

Because you remember hearing bells so clearly when you saw him, too.

But how could that be?

“I know,” he says, reading the disbelief on your face, “It didn’t make sense to me either. So, Nancy, she’s really smart by the way, you’ll love her. She went and found some older books on, like, alpha and omega couples that talked about this thing called soul bonding? It’s supposed to happen when two people that are meant to be together like, imprint on each other and basically they can’t be with anyone else—”

Oh.

His voice trails off, coming to the same realization as you.

“Do you think—”

“Yes,” you respond without a second thought. “It makes so much sense. The smells, everything with David, why I can’t stop thinking about you—Fuck, I’ve only been able to get myself off if I’m wearing your sweater!”

Eddie twitches inside you again, his face a bright red at your admission.

“You’ve been wearing my sweater?” He teases with a raised brow. You nod, not seeing any point in lying about it now.

“I like to sleep in it,” you say as you snuggle into him more, “It feels like I’m sleeping with your arms around me.”

“Mmmm, I think I could do you one better. How ‘bout I let you experience that first hand?”

“You don’t think this is too soon, do you?

Eddie places a box labeled “work clothes” on top of his nightstand, reaching a hand out for you to hand him another hanger from the pile on top of his bed—now both of your bed, as he continues to hang your clothes for you.

“Sweetheart,” he sing-songs to you, “how is this going to be any different than the last two months?”

Since your first encounter in his office at work, the two of you have been attached at the hip ever since. You’d spent almost every night at his trailer, only staying at your parents house once to watch their dog while they went out of town for the weekend.

The chemistry between you and Eddie felt unreal at times, like you were going to wake up from a dream and he would be gone. Outside of his work clothes, some may say he looked a little intimidating, but he was the biggest sweetheart you’ve ever met. And when you got to meet his uncle, Wayne, a few weeks ago, you could tell where he got his chivalry from.

“I know, it’s just all so new for me,” you sigh, falling back onto the bed with a huff.

“It’s new for me, too, but in a good way.” You could hear his smile even with his back turned to you. “Besides, this place could use a little feminine touch.”

He turns to face you, taking one big step to bump his legs into yours.

“No kidding, it looked like a college dorm in here,” you say with an eye roll, thinking about the mismatched furniture and band posters he had taped to the wall.

“Well, this college dorm is about to graduate, move on to bigger and better things in life.”

“Like being baby proofed?”

Eddie hums, lowering himself down onto his knees in front of you. You prop yourself up, shifting your legs apart so he can settle himself between them, arms wrapping around your middle as his head rests on your tummy.

“I’m glad Wayne talked me into getting a two bedroom when I was looking around. I thought all I’d ever need was enough for me, but I guess the universe works in mysterious ways,” he says the last part with exaggerated mysticism, and you tug at his hair playfully at his unseriousness.

“Mmm, baby do that again.”

“Oh, my god, whatever.” You roll your eyes, thinking he’s being playful, but the bedroom eyes and parted lips say otherwise.

And soon after his hips are rolling into yours. Sweaty bodies intertwined as he splits you open, your heightened senses from the pregnancy hormones making it so easy for Eddie to keep you cumming for him.

“Come on baby, you got one more for me?”

“Can feel you squeezin’ me.”

“That’s my good girl.”

And you cum again and again and again, losing track as Eddie’s thumb works on your clit in sync with his thrusts.

He wishes he could do this forever. Watching you fall apart on his cock has to be the greatest thing he’s ever witnessed. His eyes land on your non-existent bump, imagining how big it's going to look in just a few months with his baby inside you.

“Can’t wait til you get all big, sweetheart. Gonna show you off everywhere we go,” he picks up speed, his rhythm starting to falter, “Want everyone to know you’re mine, always. Gotta keep you like this. Keep you pregnant so no one— oooooooh fuck! So no one takes you from me.”

“All yours, Eddie,” you babble out, completely brainless, “Love you. Only you.”

“Haaaahh, shit,” his head rolls back, and you can feel him cumming deep inside you. His hips slow down to a stop before he’s pulling out and landing on his back next to you.

You’re immediately cuddling up next to him, your head raising up and down against his chest. His arm curls around you, pulling you into him more so he can kiss the top of your head.

“I love you, too, by the way.”

You snap your head to look at him. “What?”

“You said “love you,” and I’m saying I love you too.”

“I did?”

“Did you not mean it?’

He looks down at you expectantly, waiting for your answer. But you don’t really have to think too hard to come up with the answer.

“Yeah, I love you.”

thank you for reading.

#eddie munson #alpha!eddie munson #eddie munson fan fic #janitor!eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #alpha!eddie munson x omega!reader #janitor!eddie munson x teacher!reader #eddie munson omegaverse #omegaverse fic #eds

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h-sleepingirl · 2 months

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Milton Erickson and a Rabbi Walk into a Bar... (Essay)

Finally, I've finished this essay about connections I'm finding between hypnosis, Judaism, magic, and intimacy. It's ~4.5k words, extremely "me," and I'm really thrilled to share it. Enjoy!

My weakness is getting deeply invested in very niche topics.

Hypnosis was my first and most lifelong obsession. It was my confusing, shameful sexual fetish that I eventually took by the horns and -- through my desire to learn as much about it as humanly possible -- turned into a job. But not a normal sex work job where I do hypnosis for money -- a weird job where I just teach about it. The kink community, and the further-specific niche where people want to hypnotize each other during intimate experiences, became my home.

But the value of study doesn't really come from the quantity of people I'm able to engage with. It comes from the way it enriches my life. It creates and benefits from the capability to see overlaps between all of my various interests.

On the surface, it may appear that two skills have no relationship. But the deeper you get into each one, a synthesis appears.

At a certain point when you are learning hypnosis, all seemingly-unrelated information seems to fit effortlessly into your hypnotic knowledge. You can listen to a song and suddenly you learn something new about how to hypnotize someone. Maybe it was a lyric that gave you an evocative emotional response; maybe it was a pattern in the music that you thought about replicating with the rhythm of your hypnotic language.

Over a decade into my own hypnosis learning, I got very lucky and found a second passionate home in communities of Jewish text study about a year ago. I started from almost zero there and found myself again to be a greedy novice, obsessed with digging into it.

Of course, as I got further, it became that I read a page of Talmud (a text of rabbinical law and conversation) and suddenly I learned something new about how to hypnotize someone. And as I progress, it is starting to go the other way: I learn about Torah study by reading about hypnosis and intimacy.

There are two directions this essay can be read. “How can intimacy and hypnosis teach us about Jewish text?” And, “How can Jewish text teach us about intimacy and hypnosis?” One half is of each part written by me as an authority, and the other half is by me as an avid novice. The synthesis of these two parts of me -- just like any synthesis between concepts -- may perhaps create something new.

Models

I’m sure most communities have a version of the idiom, “Ask three people a question and get five answers.” For a long time, this was a source of frustration for me in the hypnosis community. Is hypnosis a state of relaxation and suggestibility? Kind of, but also no. Is it more accurate to say it is based on unconscious behaviors and thoughts? Well -- kind of, but also no.

So what is it? Well, it’s probably somewhere in the overlap of about 20-30 semi-accurate definitions and frameworks for techniques -- what we’d call “models.” Good luck!

Why is hypnosis so impossible to define and teach? How have we not found a model that we can all agree upon yet? I think many people share this confusion, and it's complicated by the fact that most sources for hypnosis education teach their model as the model. It makes sense -- it would be difficult to teach a complete beginner a handful of complex frameworks with which to understand hypnosis when that person is just trying to muddle through learning “how to hypnotize someone” on a practical, basic level.

…Or would it be? By the time I got involved with Jewish study, I had long given up on chasing the white whale of some unified theory of hypnosis. I was firmly happy with the concept that all ways to describe hypnosis are simply models -- and all models are flawed, while some models are useful. I was delighted, when entering Jewish community spaces, to hear the idiom, “Three Jews, five opinions.”

This concept is baked into Jewish text study, in my experience. You can look at any single line in Torah and find innumerable pieces of commentary on it, ancient and modern, with conflicting interpretations. Torah and other texts are studied over and over -- often on a schedule -- with the idea that there is always something new to learn. And this happens partially by the synthesis of multiple people's perspectives adding to and challenging each other, developing new models. My Torah study group teacher always starts us with a famous line from Pirkei Avot, a text of ethical teachings from early rabbis: “If two sit together and share words of Torah, the Shekhinah [feminine presence of God] abides among them.”

The capacity to develop and hold multiple interpretations at once enriches your relationship with the text. So too do I believe that being able to hold multiple interpretations of what hypnosis is and how it works enhances your skill with it. It is not a failure of the system -- it is the best thing about it.

Intimacy

It is intentional to make the distinction of “relationship with the text” -- not “relationship to the text.”

My job on the surface is to teach hypnosis, but the meta goal is to simply teach something that helps people develop profound intimacy with others. I think that hypnosis is a kind of beautiful magic that is well-suited to this, but it’s not the only path to take.

One of my favorite educators, Georg Barkas, describes themselves as an intimacy educator who teaches rope bondage. Their classes and writings are highly philosophical and align closely with my own ideas about intimacy -- as well as my partner’s, MrDream, from whom I’ve learned so much. I frequently cite Barkas when I talk about hypnosis because I feel the underlying ideas they have about rope bondage are extremely applicable to all kink and intimacy -- and I will continue that trend here.

Barkas recently published an excellent essay looking in detail at the concept of intimacy itself. They posit that our first thought of intimacy is usually about a kind of comfort-seeking and familiarity. That’s contained within the etymology of the word, and socially it’s what many of us think of when we define our relationships as “intimate”: settling in to engage with a partner who we love, know, and understand.

But, Barkas asks, what if we place this word into a different context? They talk of how in scientific endeavors, the goal of “becoming familiar with” is unpredictability and discovering things that are surprising and unexpected. This perhaps offers a different view of intimacy: intimacy where you do not engage with your partner as though you know everything about them; intimacy where being surprised by them and learning something new is the goal.

My partner MrDream teaches about this often in hypnosis education: approaching a partner with genuine curiosity and interest -- “curiosity” implying that you don’t know what to expect, with a positive connotation. There is a kind of delicate balance between being able to anticipate some aspects of what is going to happen hypnotically -- to have a general grasp on psychology and hypnosis theory -- versus holding tight to a philosophy that neither you nor the hypnotic subject really knows how they are going to respond. The unexpected is not to be feared, but celebrated and held as core to our practice. Hypnotic “subjects” (those being hypnotized) who can relax their expectations will often have more intense experiences.

Thus we come to the first time in this essay where I mention Milton Erickson, my favorite forefather of modern hypnosis. Erickson was a hypnotherapist active through the 1900s and is famous (among many things) for presenting a model of hypnosis that wasn’t necessarily an authoritative action done to a person, but a collaborative and guiding action done with a person.

In his book “Hypnotic Realities,” he talks about how his view of clinical hypnosis is defined by how the therapist is able to observe each individual client and directly use those observations to continually develop a unique hypnotic approach with them. The client’s history, interests, and modes of thinking are utilized for the trance, as well as any observable responses they have in the moment. For example, a client with chronic pain may have the frustration they express over that pain incorporated into the trance. This is in deep contrast to hypnosis where the therapist comes in with any kind of “script” or formula to recite ahead of time.

It’s important to Erickson’s model that the therapist doesn’t know exactly what to anticipate, and it’s also important hypnotically that the same is true for the client. A common “Ericksonian” suggestion is, “You don’t have to know what is going to happen, and I don’t know either.” In order to develop the most effective approach with each patient, Erickson would enter into a session with some presumed knowledge, but ultimately learning -- not assuming -- how to best hypnotize each individual person.

We circle back to the phrase, “a relationship with Jewish text.” In my opinion, engaging with Torah is exactly this kind of intimacy. Torah is something we come into in order to poke and prod at it, to interact with it and to see how it interacts back at us. The teacher of my study group always cites a model where Torah itself is a participant in our partnered learning and group discussions. We ask it questions, we push its boundaries, we strive to glean something new and yet unseen. A line that may seem simple on the surface can reveal much more when we explore its context or put it into a different context entirely.

This is easier for me to say as someone who is coming into learning Torah for the first time, but I am able to look ahead to when I will be fully familiar with the text and still be able to take this expanded definition of intimacy with it. Not coming to it without a sense of comfort, but still engaging with curiosity. MrDream teaches a model for hypnosis that is based on the idea of exploration -- exploring your partner no matter how long you have been with them. You are always coming to them as a different person, shaped by your ever-growing experiences and identity, and your partner changes as a human as well. I believe Torah is also dynamic in this way, as the context within which it exists -- and the way we interpret it -- is constantly shifting.

Ritual

I have been engaging with spiritual ritual on and off for as long as I’ve been learning hypnosis. The concept of magic has always been alluring to me -- not from a motivation to meet specific goals, but for something more difficult to pin down. I like that ritual, in an esoteric framework, is about looking at various metaphors between ingredients and actions; a candle representing an element of fire which may in turn represent intensity, or purity, or something else. Drawing meaningful connections between concepts like this is a skill I’ve developed in parallel with hypnosis, as well.

I was recently talking with a friend of mine who is also interested in esotericism -- we were sharing our frustrations with various books on magic and ritual. We wondered why so many sources would go on to teach prescriptivist formulas and associations, and not much else. Do this, and that will happen. This symbol represents that. My friend and I agreed that the ritual value of ingredients comes from how you personally assign meaning to them -- but why was everything always trying to teach us their meaning, as opposed to teaching us how to cultivate our own associations?

A week or so later, I happened to go to an excellent class that explored whether or not there was a place for smudging and smoke use in modern Jewish ritual. The teacher first took a careful, measured approach towards looking at indigenous smudging practices and the concept of appropriation. What followed was 30 minutes of history and text exploring examples of smoke in early Judaism, and then 30 minutes of a handful of interpretations of what “smoke” could mean and represent with relation to Jewish ideas -- directly practical to modern ritual. It was utterly excellent and immediately profound for me, as someone who has been yearning to blend my experience with esoteric ritual with my relationship with Judaism.

Observant readers will note that through this essay I speak passively about Judaism -- I am a patrilineal Jew, which for better or worse means that it is not a simple matter to say, “I am ‘fully’ (or ‘not’) Jewish.” (I am in the beginnings of working with a Conservative rabbi -- who affirms that I’m Jewish -- to make my status halachic [lawful], which is deeply exciting.) Opinions on that aside, a relevant piece of information is that the Jewish holiday we celebrated most consistently when I was growing up was Chanukah. While a lot of Jewish practice has been something I’ve been striving towards as an adult, Chanukah has always been “mine.” It was fast approaching after this class, and I felt motivated to use my newfound knowledge to make more ritual out of lighting the candles.

I was deeply surprised when all I did was light a stick of incense before saying the blessings over lighting the menorah, and my experience transformed into something intense. I smelled the incense and couldn’t help but think about what I’d learned about the Rambam’s commentary that incense in the time of the Temple was about making the Temple smell sweet to pray in after the burning of sacrifices. I thought about what I’d learned about the presence of God being smoke and clouds to the ancient Israelites. I thought about things I’d learned from other places -- hiddur mitzvah (the value of beautifying a practice), and a midrash (parable) about God loving the light and rituals we do in a very personal way simply because they are from us.

Esoteric ritual has often felt to me like exerting effort in making the associations of ingredients work for me. But this was effortless. I was doing something that was entirely my own, solidly founded by the broad and deep study I’d done, by my personal relationship with the concepts, by my identity.

In other words, the power behind this ritual came from knowledge, and the knowledge came from my intimacy with it. And that intimacy was not just with the study I had done -- it was also the process of being surprised in real time by what I was learning through the ritual itself.

Hypnosis gains “power,” in so much as we let ourselves use the term, through these same acts of intimacy towards knowledge. It operates directly based on various ingredients: how much we know about hypnosis theory itself, general psychology, the person we are working with, and ourselves. Hypnosis is a ritual -- it is setting aside special time to do something with a collection of ingredients that you have personal associated meanings with. If you can’t connect to those deeply enough, it won’t reach its full potency.

Knowledge, Perception, and Unconsciousness

One of my favorite concepts to teach in hypnosis is, “A change in perception equates to a change in reality.” This is derived from Erickson by MrDream, and it’s something he and I have had a lot of conversations about to refine. The implication of this is not something as trite as hypnosis having the power to change a person’s perceived reality. It is the concept that if you look at something from a different perspective, you gain various different capabilities.

For example, when you are feeling stuck in a situation and you think about what a close friend of yours would do if they were in your shoes, you gain the capability to see more options, to change your actual view of the reality of the problem and therefore change your actions towards it. In hypnosis, this could be the difference between simply telling someone to relax their legs versus another perspective of telling them to imagine what it would be like if their legs just started relaxing. It could be the idea that when a person does feel relaxation from a simple suggestion, their perception changes on what is happening -- they build more belief in hypnosis, and that belief in turn makes the next suggestions easier to buy into.

Erickson’s model of hypnosis is predicated on the idea that hypnosis itself matters, that hypnosis is a time within which someone’s reality changes. In his ideal hypnotic context, the subject feels like they no longer can expect things to behave as they usually do in their “waking” reality. They are thus opened to many different kinds of new experiences and capabilities. To Erickson, perception matters -- by itself, it’s a primary driving force behind literal change and response.

This ties back to our idea of intimacy -- just as I aim to approach my partners with this profound curiosity, just as I aim to approach Torah, I want to have this intimacy of the unexpected with trance itself. I want to allow myself to be surprised by hypnosis, by the things I don’t yet know about it even after more than a decade and thousands of hours of trance. But more than this, in an Ericksonian sense, simply changing my perspective to this motivation is one of the things that lets me get there.

I went through a guided study class about Shabbat (Judaism’s weekly sabbath of rest) with a partner, and so much of the class was in the abstract that it at times felt difficult for me to latch onto. We were learning all of this background context about a view of Shabbat where instead of spiritually striving and reaching on that day, you come in acting as though your spiritual work -- like your other work -- is “finished.”

In one session, we spent a chunk of time parsing through how we could interpret that as actionable. It felt like it just wasn’t clicking for me -- the midrashic texts weren’t offering enough for me to feel like I could make judgments on questions like, “Does this imply I shouldn’t meditate on Shabbat in this context?”

It wasn’t until I slept on it that I found a very simple piece of the puzzle: putting aside the questions of concrete actions, in an Ericksonian sense, the internal act of shifting my perspective would absolutely change the way I behaved and interacted with the day. It would become more indirect and unconscious -- instead of carefully analyzing my actions as I might with other Shabbat prohibitions on work, I could simply let myself act in ways that fit that perspective of “spiritually resting.”

The abstraction of the class made more sense -- perhaps it wasn’t trying to give us direct answers, but rather create a psychological environment for us that was well-suited to this more unconscious processing. Or rather, in addition to the sort of typical conscious halachic interpretation. If I allow myself an opinion here, I’d say that I care about halacha as actionable, but as always, I tend to care more about feelings and what’s internal.

This also lent credence to ways this class and the class on smoke and ritual changed my experiences. I was not given a set of actions to take, but rather a variety of perspectives that unconsciously made me think and behave differently. The concept of “knowledge is power” is both true and alluring in many different contexts, and yet had often fallen through for me in most ritualistic frameworks. The way that it succeeds, I believe, is when you develop a relationship with knowledge that actually changes your internal perspective and perceptions.

Limitation

With this we return to the concept of models and interpretations. It is serendipitous to be going through these experiences at a time where I am avidly working on my next book -- the thesis of which is that in order for us to progress as hypnotists, we must get comfortable moving fluidly between many differing definitions and frameworks (models) of what hypnosis is and how it works.

It is as the Ericksonian principle would say: If you take a perspective on hypnosis that boils down to “hypnosis is about relaxing the conscious mind,” you will do hypnosis according to that perspective. You will use relaxation-based techniques and make an effort to get someone to think “less consciously.” If you instead take a perspective that is “hypnosis operates based on activation of the conscious mind,” you may do hypnosis that causes someone to think and process in a more stimulating way.

Both and neither are true, and they can coexist. I believe that most models can be useful -- some more useful than others. But the best thing you can do is to not assume that one model is the most correct one -- instead, it is to develop the capacity to work within many at once even while being aware of their boundaries.

Jewish text, in my experience, provides models -- perspectives that themselves give guidance on how to understand things and act. I think especially about midrash and stories that are explicitly intended to fill in the gaps or give an alternate view on something. The question of, “Is there one correct way to do/see things” is more complicated here, but there are areas -- especially in those subtle shifts of mindset for ritual or interpreting text -- where the answer is still “no.”

My time so far in Jewish study supports this in a different way. There is a human element of collaboration and challenge. Learning as we do with a chevruta (study partner) adds another person to the relationship -- it is no longer just between you and the text. There is another human who you are building something with, and it is “intimate” according to our exploratory definition in an even clearer way.

The purpose of a “scene” inside of kink (a “session” of kink play) is to operate in a semi-limited framework -- limitations exist on who is involved, where it begins and ends, how partners communicate, and what themes/topics/activities are involved. These limitations -- though they may be quite broad -- are partially what allow for intense experiences. A scene needs to exist in a different “space” than our daily lives, and it needs to operate by different rules and involve different ingredients. Here, we also see overlaps with the definition of a “ritual.”

This doesn’t just facilitate intensity (and safety) -- it facilitates learning something new about your partner. By taking your relationship and putting it into a limited context, it allows you to observe it in a more careful way, where novel changes can be more obvious.

Studying with a chevruta is much like this. I have had study sessions where my chevruta and I are meeting for the first time and the only thing we are aware of sharing is our desire to dive into a piece of text. I’ve also had chevrutas where we know each other outside of study, and some of our time is schmoozing and catching up. But in all cases, we are limited in scope, and that limitation creates ease of access towards the common goal of expanding our knowledge and relationship with the text. We are focused; we are motivated. We are creating something that we can only create through who we are as individuals and what we are doing as avid learners.

This has surprised me at times with its tenderness and intensity. Building well-founded interpretations with someone is in and of itself very intimate -- not sensually, but humanly. It has given me something I have always wanted -- an intimacy that is pervasive not just in application of knowledge, but in the development of it. A feeling of sacredness and joy from being able to see so many different perspectives.

I long for this connection, this alchemy. Yes, all models are limited. But within those tight, restricting limits is the potential energy of creation.

“And I Must Learn”

There is an infamous story in the Talmud, in Berakhot 62a, where Rav Kahana hides under the bed of his friend Rav Abba. Rav Kahana hears Abba and his wife giggling and starting to have sex, and remarks out loud that Rav Abba is acting like someone who is famished. Rav Abba, mid-sex, understandably says, “Kahana, why the fuck are you under my bed listening to me fuck my wife?” Rav Kahana replies, “It is Torah, and I must learn.”

There was a version of this essay that began with this tale. I am enamored with the vast overlaps I can derive from its briefness: that intimacy can be studied sacredly both as a general concept and specifically with your partner; that we are obligated to learn ourselves, our partners, and general human desire; that there can be a thread of wholeness in every action of your life if you give every action sacred attention.

Even this, though, is a limited-context interpretation. The rabbis of the Talmud were certainly not sex-positive, especially not as we currently use the term. The surrounding triptych of conversations is similarly humorous but seems to comparatively describe sex as dirty or gross, and this bit of text cannot really exist separately from all of the places where there is halacha derived about sex that is about controlling women’s bodies or preventing queer and trans people from being able to live authentically.

But -- we are allowed to interpret like this. We are allowed to play with context and see what we discover.

For me, this is about finding the connections between my actions and my interests; parts of me that synthesize the whole. It is about developing intimacy with Torah, with my learning partners, with my romantic partners; with the people within the writings, with the authors, and with the readers.

Reading Torah is the same as hypnotizing someone is the same being intimate with someone is the same as doing a ritual. All things on a broad enough scale overlap this closely. There is value in this “zooming out” to a wide enough context to see the connections that exist -- just as there is value in celebrating the limitations that arise, models nestled alongside each other, when you “zoom in.”

We need both to be able to treat our learning -- all forms of it -- as something special.

#my writing #hypnosis #judaism #hypnokink

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ramp-it-up · 1 year

Text

I WONDER

Paring: Mob Boss! Steve Rogers x Reader (Ambrosia)

Word count: 3.4 K.

Summary: You are fed up with the secrets and lies. Now you have a secret of your own. And a decision to make.

Warnings: 18+ As always, MINORS DNI, SMUT, Lil bit of ANGST. Not Beta’d. All mistakes my own. Angst, jealousy, Mob secrets, implied reproductive choice, sort of an ultimatum, reader dons her freakum dress, fingering, semi public sex act, p in v, cream pie, oral (both receiving) breast worship, mid-sex revelation, size kink, breeding kink.

A/N: Based on this ask. This is the third Mob Boss! Steve Fic that comes after All I Want in the This Thing of Ours AU. Also Based on my Candy Hearts Valentine Prompt List found Here. Hope you like it @kenequa 💕

I no longer operate a taglist. Follow @rampitupandread to be notified when I post.

I Do NOT consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

Your regular noonday customer Tasha eyed your new stock boys and leaned over to ask you a question.

“That one is Robbie, and you should ask. He’s a sweet guy.”

You replied as if it were no big deal, making your decision at that moment. You turned your head and glanced at the tall blonde.

“That one is Steve, and he is single as a pringle.”

You smiled at her, ignoring the footsteps behind you as you closed the register.

“So now I’m single?”

You felt his hot breath on your neck and your nipples pebbled as he growled into your ear. Damn him.

“Steven. We’ve had this conversation. I can’t be in a relationship with someone who continually lies to me and does things behind my back.”

Steve looked down and his pants got tight at this view of your ass.

“Believe me Ambrosia. I’d love to do things behind your back. And I think you would too. If you would only let me…”

Steve’s broken voice almost broke you, but you took a deep breath and turned around. You gasped at the sight of his face, those lips, and the sense of his smell so close to you. You wanted him, but you couldn’t continue this way.

“Breathe, Baby.”

Your eyes fluttered shut at the heady feeling of lust surrounding you two and you considered relenting. You leaned toward him, wanting to just fall into his arms.

Steve silently cheered inside; you were beginning to break. You’d even shut him out on Valentine’s Day. A month and a half of never letting up the pressure was beginning to pay off.

Or so he thought.

You wouldn’t let Steve fuck you to shut you up. Not again. So you did just what he told you and breathed deeply, lifting your head.

Steve knew that glint in your eye.

“First, you seduced me without telling me that you are one of the most powerful mobsters in New York, then you bought my store without letting me know? You own me now? What else don’t I know about you?”

Steve ran his hand through his hair and backed up.

“You know all you need to know, Ambrosia. I love you.”

You stared hard at him, unrelenting. He continued.

“Listen, everything I do is to protect you. I…”

The bell rang above the door and you turned around to greet the customer. Steve turned to stare at the discounted Valentine’s candy. Then he got an idea.

He grabbed a bag and turned around to the sight of a tall man smiling down at you.

And you had the nerve to smile back at him!

He cleared his throat.

You looked over your shoulder at him. He glowered at you and stalked out.

“Stay here, Robbie. I need to handle some things.”

When you closed the store that Saturday night, you sat on your couch thinking about your relationship. Ever since Christmas morning when you realized what Steve had done and you’d flipped your lid, he’d endured your frosty demeanor.

You felt trapped, and most of all, scared. But you didn’t express that like an adult, you just gave him the cold shoulder. Maybe he finally got the message and moved on.

You fell asleep, full of angst and worry at the situation and awakened at the knock on the door. When you opened it, you greeted a tired looking Steve Rogers with a bag of what smelled like Thai food.

“Can I come in?”

You nodded, stepped back, and walked back over to the couch as Steve entered your apartment and shut the door.

You opened your mouth to say something but Steve raised his hand.

“Just… hear me out, Ambrosia. Today I understood for the first time what you mean. All I’ve done is take from you.”

You shook your head and he raised his hand again.

“I fell in love with you almost the first time I came in here. So I kept coming back, and buying you gifts, and when I asked you out without telling you the truth I took away your choice about whether to date a guy like me. And that was wrong.”

Your heart broke a little bit as he spoke. Steve looked like his heart was breaking too.

“When I saw how you struggle to pay your rent, I bought the mortgage without telling you, and that was wrong. When I saw that guy flirting with you, after I thought briefly about taking his life, I realize that I took your chance for a normal life.”

Your heart started beating faster as you realized what this was.

“Steve…”

“Please let me finish.”

Steve took a deep breath and walked over to the table.

“I’m here to give you some things. Things that you absolutely cannot give back. First, food.”

Your stomach was growling. Steve knew you so well. When you were upset, you didn’t push yourself to eat.

You came and sat down to a heaping plate of food. Steve sat across from you.

“Next comes the story of me and…this thing of ours.”

Steve nodded at your plate because you stopped mid-chew and your eyes got wide.

“You stop eating, I stop talking.”

Steve took a bite and watched you eat, sadness and love in his eyes.

“It started when we were kids. Bucky and I ran the streets of Brooklyn and fell in with this little smartass punk, Brock Rumlow. He was just a kid then. A kid who had a plan to make us the most feared mobsters in the city. He introduced us to Sam.”

You were astonished that Steve was opening up and at the name Rumlow. Everyone knew they were mortal enemies. You made sure to eat so you could hear how everything got to this point.

“I was a fucking runt,” Steve laughed and shook his head. “But they called me Cap ‘cause I was always the first one into a fight…”

An hour and a half later, you were on the couch, enraptured.

“.... and now, Bucky is working his way back to health, getting used to a new way of life. Sam is truly still caught in the middle. And me… well, I have fucked up the one love of my life.”

“Steve… “

He stood up and went back over to the table. He produced a manilla envelope. When it was in your hands, he nodded and you opened it. You dropped it on your lap, hand over your mouth when you saw the contents.

“It’s the deed to your store. I wasn’t trying to own you, or to control you, Ambrosia. I was only trying to protect you. From my life. But I realize now that you need full disclosure. And choice.”

He took you in looking up at him like that.

“God, I love you. You are the woman of my dreams, tough, smart, beautiful. But I want you to have free will.”

“What do you mean?”

Steve stood up and walked to the door. You followed.

“I did some digging today. The only people that know about us are you, me, Bucky, Sam, and Robbie. I thought I was protecting you, but I was just putting you in a cage. This was my escape from that world.”

Steve looked around the small apartment that was your home.

“But I can’t escape. Not just yet. And you’ll be okay if I never come here again.”

Your heart dropped as he let that sink in.

“You are right. If we are to be together, you would have to come into my world. And I don’t know if you are ready for that yet, Ambrosia.”

You were spiraling as Steve opened the door and turned around, leaning on the door frame.

“One more thing.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pink box.

“Happy Belated Valentine’s Day.”

You walked close to him to take the box, staring down at it in his hands. You couldn’t look at him. But he solved that problem by tipping your head up by your chin.

Steve kissed you sweetly, but his tongue swept into your mouth, savoring you as if for the last time. He pulled away, and then leaned back in for another peck.

He stood up, whispered a gruff, “Goodbye, Ambrosia,” and then disappeared out of your life.

You blinked back your flow of tears and looked down at the box in your hands. You opened it, and as you tipped the box, numerous white candies spilled out onto the floor.

You bent down to pick them up.

They all read, I WONDER.

You sat on your couch, the sugary sweets melting with the warmth of your hand. You ran the gamut of emotions: sadness, fear, then anger and frustration.

You thought you’d made the correct decision, but now you realized you had not.

Around one am, Steve was sitting in the VIP of Sam’s club, SamWells, being enveloped by the beat of the music. He couldn’t be alone right now, or he’d either go running back to your place or slip into oblivion up at his.

He didn’t need to think anymore.

Sam had been busting his balls all night, at his sour look, at the fact that he’d been nursing one drink for two hours, anything to get a rise out of him. Steve just stayed silent and sipped his drink, the ice melting slowly.

Suddenly, Sam perked up.

“I think that hottie over there wants you buddy, need to check her out.”

Steve snorted and finally ordered another drink, not looking in the direction Sam indicated.

“Too soon, Sam. I’m not in the mood.”

Sam’s eyes were focused behind Steve.

“I don’t know, Cap. This one seems pretty dope. I think she’s just your type.”

“Sam, I…”

You walked around the booth as Robbie let you into the VIP area. Steve’s mouth dropped open and took you in from head to toe. You were wearing a form fitting black dress and heels. Steve couldn’t stop looking. Then Sam whistled.

“Looking good, Ambrosia!”

Sam stood up and gave you a hug, then pulled back to admire you. Steve did too. You looked amazing.

You tugged at the dress, a little uncomfortable.

“I think it’s too tight. It was at the back of my closet. I wore it once, 10 pounds ago…”

“No. No, no. I think it fits just right. Juuust right. And those 10 pounds seem to be in just the right places.”

Sam twirled you and Steve stood up just as you turned to face him. You laughed and looked up at him, breathless.

He seemed a little jealous. It was hot.

“Wanna continue our conversation, Steve?”

Steve stared down at you, his body feeling one way, wanting to bend you over the booth, but mind wary of everything.

Sam cleared his throat as Steve scanned the club.

“I’ve got something to do over there.”

Neither of you acknowledged his departure, but Steve waved his arm to the booth and you slid into the leather bound seat that smelled like the two friend’s cologne.

“What are you doing here?”

Steve asked the question tersely, still checking the club to see who was there.

“This is dangerous, coming around here like this.”

You scooted closer to him, and eyed him up and down. He had changed into a multicolored polo and wore sunglasses, even though he was inside a club at night. His biceps popped with every move and the tense look on his face made you want to relax him. Hard.

You reached up and took his sunglasses off, glad to be able to look him in the eye.

“That’s funny. I feel super safe right now.”

You put your hand on his thigh, and his muscles tensed.

“Ambrosia. This is nothing to play with.”

Steve looked at you, his eyes falling to your cleavage and licked his lips.

Your hand went up further, and touched the tip of his dick through his pants. He was getting hard.

“Believe me Steve. I would love to play with things, and I think you would too, if you would only let me…”

You started stroking him outside of his pants and he drew in a harsh breath.

“Breathe, Baby.”

Steve did, then he took your hand from his cock and placed both of yours in your lap and held them there.

“What exactly are you here for, Ambrosia?”

You sat back, serious now.

“I’m here for you, Steve. I thought long and hard after you left. I love you.”

“Baby, I…”

“My turn.”

You shook your head and smiled as Steve looked down and started stroking your hand with his thumbs.

“I was thinking that we’re both being a little extra. I didn’t have to be so dramatic after Christmas. And I love that you told me your story, but you didn’t have to. You didn’t have to buy the store, and you certainly didn’t have to give me the deed. And I hate that you have to wonder…”

Steve opened and closed his mouth, letting you continue.

“I know. You are wondering what it would be like if I embraced all of you. And I think I’m ready to.”

Steve’s head snapped up and his eyes were wild.

“You can’t think, Ambrosia. You must know. Because there is no going back. I, and my crew will stop at nothing to protect you. You would be part of the family and that means a blood oath. If you want to love me, you gotta accept me. And the things I do. I’m trying to give you an out.”

You stared at Steve for a long time.

“I don’t want an out. I want you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Surer than sure.”

You smiled as you leaned in for a kiss. Steve stared at you hesitant, scared of what this would mean. When you cocked your head at him and smiled is when he decided.

Steve grabbed you by the back of the neck and pulled you to him, answering your smile with a passionate press of his mouth on yours. He pulled back, and reached for your hips, pulling you onto his leg.

You put your arms around his neck as you peppered his face and head with kisses as Steve felt you up and sucked hickeys onto your neck and cleavage. His hand was at the hem of your dress and moving north as he spoke into your skin.

“…Coming in here dressed like this. Gonna be the death of me. I gotta have you, it’s been too long.”

“Oh.” You breathed into his hair. “I came to get fucked tonight.”

“Holy fuck.”

Steve slapped your thighs.

“Then why are these legs still closed?”

You opened your legs and let his hand into the damp warmth of your inner thighs. He grabbed you at your apex so that you were sitting on his leg and his fingers, his thumb brushing your naked, weeping slit and delving into you. He looked up into your half closed eyes.

“Gotdamn, Ambrosia. You weren’t lying. Want me to fuck you right here?”

Your hand was at the hair on the back of his head now, pulling as he swirled his thumb around your plucky clit. You leaned your head down on his shoulder and whimpered, not answering his question.

Steve continued his assault on your needy pussy until he pulled a shaky, whimpering orgasm from you. It was not enough.

“It’s time you came up to my place.”

You stood up, a little shaky and more so as Steve made you suck his thumb.

“I’d love to see it.”

Steve didn’t say that he wanted more than just for you to see it. He led you over to a wall at the far end of the club, pulling out a remote. Part of the wall slid open to reveal an elevator door which he ushered you into.

“Each of us, Sam, Bucky, and I have our own elevators that go directly to our places. Totally private.”

“Interesting.”

You were on the opposite wall from him as he watched you possessively with his hand in his pocket. The ride seemed to slow down.

“Touch yourself.”

“Why?”

“Because if I touch you, I will fuck you in this elevator and I’m trying to make it to my bed.”

There was a long pause as you each listened to each other breathing.

“And you shouldn’t be untouched, Ambrosia.”

You put your hands in your hair and moved them down around your neck, trailing your cleavage.

Steve leaned back against the wall, his eyes blue fire as your hands roamed your own body and the places he wanted to be. He palmed himself over his pants and you whimpered.

“Don’t worry. You’re gonna get this dick.”

You started pulling your nipples through the material of your dress and Steve opened his mouth to lick his lips.

“They look so fucking big and beautiful. I’m gonna cum all over them.”

You were reaching for the hem of your dress when the doors opened. Steve came for you and you jumped up onto him, his hands holding you up by your ass as he propelled you through a dark and richly appointed space until your back hit a door.

“I’ll give you a proper tour when we come up for air.”

You chuckled.

“So I’ll never get a tour?”

Steve laughed too.

“You may be right.”

He reached for the knob and soon you were on your back on the softest king sized bed you’d ever experienced.

Steve was tearing off his clothes as you pulled your dress over your head. Steve beat you to your heels, unbuckling them and kissing your feet up to your calves. He pushed your legs apart so that he could see you fully. His hand traced your lips and he smiled.

“My sweet petals. Long time no see.”

“Are you… are you talking to my pussy?”

You huffed, indignant.

“I’m talking to MY pussy. Private conversation. I guess I’ll just have to whisper.”

Steve glided up your apex and made out with your cunt like it was going out of style. He suckled your clit gently at first, then with more pressure as he came up and inserted two fingers inside you.

“Still so so tight…”

He scissored his fingers as he pulled another orgasm from you, stroking his cock as your desperate cries reached his ears.

“Gotta get you ready for me.”

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he kneeled up and stroked his cock, lining it up at your soaked opening.

You keened as he pushed his thick tip inside you, your wetness making the most deliciously pornographic sounds, along with his outright moans for you as you squeezed him.

Your mouth opened at the sting of his size, but relished the full feeling. You loved being full of Steve Rogers

“Ambrosia, Ambrosia, Ambrosia….shittttt.”

When he started moving, the slap, slick, slap, slick sound made his eyes roll back.

“Who got you so wet, Ambrosia? So wet and so tight. Tell me.”

You whimpered your way through your explanation as he started fucking you harder.

“Hnnnnnhhhh. You, Steve. Always you. Only you.”

You were grabbing your own bouncing breasts absentmindedly and it made Steve pulse inside you.

“Fuck yes, show me those tits, point them at me because I’m… uggghhh.”

Steve sped up again. He was watching your erect nipples and areola bounce as you held them up for him to witness the bounteous beauty of them being knocked up to your face by his thrusts.

“So fucking beautiful. I’m gonna….Fucckkkkkkk!”

Steve thought he would black out at the image you just presented him. But he just fucked you harder, faster, better.

“Cum on me cum in my mouth cum on my tits Stevie….”

“Oh my goddddd.”

Steve pulled out and shot pearlescent white cum on your chest and in your mouth. You grabbed his softening dick and he rolled over on his back as you cleaned him up, sucking him dry.

“That little hot mouth of yours, Ambrosia. Fuck.”

You smiled and started stroking him, your breasts still covered in cum. As he watched you, you watched his cock come back to life.

“Holy Shit, Ambrosia.”

Steve grabbed you and turned around, pressing your head into the bed so that you gave him the arch he was looking for. He slid into you from behind, back into heaven.

“You make me feel like I could do this all fucking night, Ambrosia…fuck.”

Steve grabbed your arm and twisted it behind your back as he pounded you and you begged him.

“Please please please cum inside me Steve, give it to me.”

Steve grunted.

“You saying you want my baby inside you?”

You moaned.

“It already is, Daddy.”

Steve pulled you up by your hair. He stopped because he didn’t quite hear what you’d said.”

“What did you say?”

“I said. I already have your baby inside me, Daddy.”

Steve pulled out of you and then held your face in his hands.

“How?”

You laughed at him.

“What do you mean, how?”

“I mean, when?”

“Probably Christmas. The last time we…I took a test two weeks ago. I’m probably about six weeks along.”

“Were you going to tell me?”

Steve sat back on his haunches, his erection fading.

“I’m telling you now. Just like you told me over six months after you started pursuing me about your situation.”

You reached for his head and made him look you in the eye.

“I thought I’d made the right choice, to cut ties and… well, when you left me, left us tonight I realized what I truly wanted. I want you. And I want this baby. I choose you to be the father of my child.”

You kissed Steve and he took you down to the bed.

“Do you want this?”

Fear bloomed inside you as Steve’s hand slid down your torso to your belly. He looked back up at you, eyes shining.

“Yes! Please…please have my baby Ambrosia. I promise I’ll never let anyone hurt you. Including me.”

“Okay.”

Steve kissed your belly and then pulled you under him to kiss your lips as you wrapped your legs around him and reached between you to stroke him back to life.

“Fuck, mama. What are you doing to me?”

Steve rutted into your hand.

“You were about to blow my back out Daddy. Get to it.”

You spit into your hand to lubricate him better and you looked like a vixen as he fell under your spell.

“Ugh! So nasty...”

You twisted so that you were again as up underneath him and wiggled your ass against his now hard length again.

You lifted your hips and Steve slid inside you, your warm wetness clenching his wide girth again.

“Fuckkkk, Stevie.”

The way you whimpered for him made Steve pushed your head back down. He started delivering the back shots immaculately, slowly, deep and hard, watched your cream froth around him, the vision of where you two were connecting making him even harder.

Then, he sped up and spilled everything inside you as you screamed for it, cumming around him and milking him for all that he was worth.

When you opened your eyes, Steve was smiling at you.

“What?”

“I’m just so happy.”

“Happy that I came here, or happy that we came. Or happy about little Stevie?”

He chuckled, “Little Stevie Hunh?”

He kissed you again.

“All three.”

Steve stood up and grabbed your hand.

He grabbed your neck and kissed you until you were breathless.

“Sounds like a plan, Mr. Rogers.”

Steve smiled at you and refrained from calling you Mrs. Rogers in return.

That was a title for another day.

#ask dj #dj answers #this thing of ours au #mob!au #mob boss!steve rogers x reader #mob boss! steve rogers #MobBoss! avengers #steve rogers angst #chris evans smut #steve rogers smut #mob boss! steve rogers x you #steve rogers x black reader #mob boss! sam wilson

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gabessquishytum · 2 months

Note

Hob is working his way up through the Endless Leisure organization. He wants to be a head of security or GM for one of their resorts one day - he's got all the hospitality education and his MBA and this summer he's working as staff at one of his favorite of the properties. When it's time for his promotion he wants to have all the relevant experience so he can run his Endless resort as well as possible.

Dream might have a little crush on Robert "Hob" Gadling. Hob has been working for the family company since they were both in high school, Hob spent an initial summer as an intern. Dream never had much of an interest in the family business - and with his art career slowly taking off he didn’t have to, but if anyone could convince Dream to pay attention to the *business* it would be Hob.

But Hob is so focused on getting ahead in the company, he can't have noticed Dream even existed. When Dream hears (he might have an email alert set up 👀) that Hob is working at one of the higher end adult focused (the one with the nude/semi nude private beaches and skimpiest staff uniforms) resorts all summer, he might have offered to do an artist's residency (teach a few painting/pottery classes for guests and/or produce a giant piece of art of the resort's lobby) so that he could be there at the same time. Maybe Hob would notice him then.

Hob wasn't in high enough position at the resort (by design) to be briefed on the fact that one of the Endless children would be staying at the resort for a few months. He just heard the gossip that an uber VIP was staying at the resort and could have whatever they wanted; he also heard that the resort was going to offer (sexy??) art classes once a month. All of that was (unrelated) interesting, Hob guesses, but at the time he was a little more concerned that he was busting out if his uniform short shorts - sure this resort is for adults, but Hob is many levels of indecent in these shorts and the less said about the lifeguard speedo, the better.

The first time Hob realizes that (the gorgeous) Dream Endless was the VIP/new art teacher, Hob happens upon him swiming gloriously naked in his private pool. Dream had always been the one Endless to turn Hob's head. Hob was never happier than when he realized Dream could care less about the Endless business, if Hob had to be around Dream more frequently, he would still be an intern.

Akajsjdhdhs resort au babies!!!! They're so cute, I love it. I'm imagining that Hob absolutely drops the tray of drinks he was carrying when he sees Dream swimming nude. And then Dream hops out of the pool to help clear up, and Hob nearly dies because all of his blood rushes to his dick so fast. Needless to say, the teeny tiny uniform shorts do absolutely nothing to hide his half-chub problem.

Dream is so sweet and nice to Hob!! He helps sweep up the glass and (regrettably) slips into a robe, insisting that he'll help refill the drinks and come with Hob to explain to the other guests why he's late. He wouldn't want Hob to get in trouble! It's funny, Hob has heard so many of the managers talking shit about Dream and his snooty, entitled attitude... but he's not like that at all! Hob has always fancied him but now he's crushing so hard, it's a little bit embarrassing.

Dream even invites Hob to one of his art classes. He'll have to act as an assistant and help the guests, but Dream promises that afterwards he'll give Hob a tutorial... one on one. Poor Hob knows that he's going to be the most useless employee in the entire resort whenever he's around Dream from now on. He can't stop envisaging the gorgeous man naked...

Their one on one painting session breaks so many of the resort's rules for employees, Hob is almost certain he's going to get fired. But God, its worth it. He can get another nothing job, but he'll never have anyone like Dream naked in his arms again.

In the morning, Hob wakes up to a promotion, and an invitation to join Dream at breakfast. Apparently he wants to talk about Hob’s new position as assistant head of security... and check for sure that Hob has the body and stamina for the job. Needless to say, Dream already knows the answer to that!

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft

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sumeruin · 10 months

Text

♫♪: minor writing smut, dni if uncomfortable!!

♫♪: pairing: dilf! kazuha x reader

♫♪: warnings: written by a minor, semi-public sex, brief mentions of overstimulation and oral (no areas specified), aftercare, mentions of scars, i think that’s it, but if i missed anything please let me know!!

♫♪: a/n: mindless rambles about dilf kazuha from 3am this morning <3 also, new header!! i haven’t had time to actually change up my theme yet, so this is the best are gonna get for now <3

♫♪: minor writing smut, dni if uncomfortable!!

ok… so dilf kazuha… (modern au obvi) maybe he bulks up a little more as he ages, gets more muscular, gathers some more scars all over his body. he still keeps his hair long, though now he wears it down most of the time, not having the time in the mornings to put it up between his kid and his job. sometimes he’ll put it in a little bun, when he’s cooking or doing something where his hair would get in the way, and it suits him so well.

i’m thinking he has a little bit of peach fuzz too. not a full beard or anything, but just enough for you to feel it when he kisses your thighs before going down on you, the hair adding that small, extra bit of stimulation to make you cum so much faster on his tongue.

he usually wears a casual outfit, just a thin, white t shirt, some grey sweatpants, and a pair of tennis shoes. between his job as a bodyguard and his kid, he doesn’t really have the energy for much else. except, of course, for those rare special occasions where he dresses up, usually for his date nights with you, and he wears a black and red suit. a red button up, with a black suit jacket, tie, and dres pants. these are also the occasions where he’ll put his hair up and wear some nice cologne (unrelated but i have a whole cologne/perfume rant about genshin characters in my head if anyone is interested) only because he knows you love it so much.

he takes you out to a nice restaurant, both of you practically clinging to each other as you sit at the table, and he always, without fail, takes you back to his house and absolutely ruins you afterwards, the perfect way to relieve a little stress after a busy week. and it’s not like you’re complaining, either. kazuha is very much a giver, making sure you cum at the very least twice before he even thinks about actually fucking you, leaving you more than satisfied and overstimulated, enough to hold you over until the next week.

sometimes, he’ll change it up, still very much a wanderer at heart, and take you somewhere calmer. maybe you’ll go stargazing one night, and he’ll get to fuck you under the endless, beautiful sky, pointing out all the constellations he can see while he’s balls deep inside of you, waxing poetic about how gorgeous you look under the moonlight while you cum for him. or you’ll go see the maple trees at night, and he’ll press you up against the bark while he slides your clothes off, taking care not to scratch or rip any of the fabric. it’s not like you’d particularly care if he did, you’re always too fucked out and tired from cumming your brains out to be able to think about your clothes, or anything besides him, really.

he has the best aftercare, too, even if he does sometimes have to wait a little bit until you can get back home. he always runs you a warm bath, and fills it with sweet smelling oils and flower petals reserved just for you, massaging some lightly scented lotion and body oils into your sore joints afterwards and holding you close to him strong, scarred body as you fall asleep. and he’s a great cook, always making you the best breakfasts after a night full of railing you into the mattress. his go to is french toast, but he’ll make you anything you want as long as you just ask him <33

#⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ angel’s creations ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎#genshin x reader #genshin smut #genshin kazuha smut #genshin impact #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x reader smut #kaedehara kazuha x you #kaedehara kazuha smut #kazuha smut #kaedehara kazuha #genshin kazuha #kazuha x reader #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha #kazuha x reader smut

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twistedroseytoesy · 1 year

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May I request Ace + Octavinelle with an cauliflower jellyfish reader?

Cauliflower jellyfish is a pacific jellyfish species found in the Indo-pacific and the Atlantic Oceans. It is a giant old-world water jellyfish with an odd purple umbrella-shaped bell! They are sometimes called crown jellyfish, which may confuse with the completely unrelated Attollas, also called crown jellyfish.

Cauliflower jellyfishes tolerate freezing water and often live in depths over 3000 meters (9842 ft). They mostly live in the Pelagic zone of many oceans and seas. Their diet consists of Algae, shrimp, plankton, fish eggs, and invertebrate larvae.

woa! That’s really cool! And heck ya I can do this love learning about new sea life! such a pretty yet odd jellyfish!

Said jelly just under the cut as usual.

Description

you usually lived your days floating around the sea and enjoying the currents as you went. you had a large somewhat inverted bell at your hips your tentacles hanging below. you are about 3 feet tall in your mer form, with about 1-foot-long tentacles hanging below you. your skin is a pale semi-translucent purple. You have blue frill-like things on your shoulders. You have short, dark, purple hair and the bell at your hips is a pretty golden/orange color with light blue tentacles hanging below your form.

In your human form, you have fairly pale and near-grey skin, it is a grey-purple color in direct sunlight. Your shoulders are a blue color, almost like they are constantly bruised. you enjoy more flowy, light clothing and wear easy-to-slip-off sandals. You are fairly boneless like other invertebrate merfolk. along your lower legs are lines that mimic your stinging tentacles. your stinging ability is mostly stuck to your legs and feet. so if you ever felt threatened a good kick would have someone doubled over for a few hours.

Octavinelle

Azul: didn’t realy pay you much mine since you just wandered around campus like some sort of ghoul. If you were dumb enough to sign any of his contracts he’ll try to have you waiting tables. When someone tried to harass you and you knocked them out with a strong slap kick. You were then just kinda set to wander with light waiting and secondary security when Floyd skips work. After his overblot he’s glad you’re pretty easy going and forgiving.

When he got to see your enemies he definitely saw a nice money opportunity. Your mer form was regal and beautiful! It would be a beautiful display and you could just float around the tank! But if you didn’t want that then he wouldn’t pressure you much. But he does admire your strange beauty and colors. Is anyone tried to make fun of your for looking like a stupid or weird jellyfish rest assured he will defend you.

Jade: was interested by your pale and somewhat deathly complexion. Asked about your health and you just said it was normal. Under the sunlight then it finally clicked what you were. He liked to observe how you were daily relaxed in your way of thinking. Yet wouldn’t hesitate to kick someone and leave them with a painful aching spot. A bit surprised that your stinging venom is only in your legs but can’t help but smirk when you jump kick someone. might ask you to teach him how to use his legs in a similar matter.

When he saw your mer form he chuckled a bit at your odd shaped bell and bright colors. Assured you it’s fine and that you look very pretty in the water like this. Such vibrant colors would make a fine display in t he lounge aquarium. There would be many happy to watch you float around. If you say no he’ll understand though. Just an offer~

Floyd: little anemony! squishy little thing. With a stinging kick. Likes to poke and prod at you since you’re so jelly like. Calls you anemone since you remind him of a darker type of anemone he’s seen. He just giggled when you try to use your stoning kick against him. Demands asks you to teach him how to kick like that. And in turn he teaches you how to squeeze someone.

when he first saw your merform he realized you were a cauliflower jelly and started to call you by that. Loved to poke and bounce your shoulder frills and just bike at your squishy form in general. He’s a menace to jellyfish and bounces you lol a ball. Launching you through the water despite you trying to sting him. His slime is too thick he’ll explain while bouncing you more. Makes sure you’re fine but love to play with you.

With Special guest

Ace: teases that you look like the ramshackle ghosts with your pale almost deathly complexion. He likes to poke and prod at you many times during class and when just waking around. He tags along on your wandering so he has an excuse to get away from his regular responsibilities. When he saw your blue shoulders he was a bit conserved. Joking at how clumsy you are. You just remark that those are normal. They don’t hurt and nothing wrong. He likes to look at you in the sunlight since your skin is a pretty purple.

when he first saw your mer form he laughed. Pretty rude but once he got himself together he explained that he eats laughing because for 1 the completion made sense, 2 Floyd name for you was dead on, and 3 you did look kinda funny though. Liked to bounce the blue frills on your shoulders and poke at the golden ring around your hips. Careful to avoid your stingers. Other than that though he doesn’t really care that you’re a mer person. As long as you’ve got his back then he’s got yours.

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literary-illuminati · 10 days

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2024 Book Review #17 – Terra Incognita by Connie Willis

Connie Willis is a name I have heard come up a lot with regard to late 20th century American Science Fiction, but in a slightly odd way. The only thing she’s actually written that I’ve ever heard of is To Say Nothing of the Dog (a delightful-sounding book that tragicall has a multimonth hold list at my library). Instead, I mostly know her from other books’ acknowledgement sections, or semi-mythologized folklore and anecdotes about the culture and community of the era. So I really picked this up as a matter of curiosity, to get a sense of what Willis’ whole deal is.

The book is a collection of three novellas, each basically totally unrelated with only the faintest attempt at a unifying theme to justify bundling the three of them together. Each work is pretty different from the others in everything from length (the longest is something like 3x the length of the shortest), tone, setting and subject matter, the works really. The first is a sort of romcom farce about surveyors charting an alien world that has, well, aged. The second and longest a love letter to classic classic hollywood and movie musicals as told from the POV of a self-hating drunk who pays the bills going through and retroactively editing the studio’s back catalogue to meet the whims of the executive of the day. The third and by far shortest is a lighthearted and very fannish comedy about a teenager getting conscripted to be a space cadet against her own ferocious objections.

The stories are all perfectly modern in, like, structure and pacing, but they still absolutely feel like they were written last century. Part of that is just word choice (the only thing that ages worse that old euphemisms for sex is old attempts to create futuristic slang), but it’s also just a general sensibility. Which is most cringe-iniducing in the first story, both for its portrayal of the native species of the planet being surveyed (directly compared to native americans on a few different times, characterized as relentlessly opportunistic penny-wise but pound-foolish hucksters leaping at the chance to sell their land for cheap imported consumer goods), and also just for a handling of gender and sexuality it’d take more time than I’ve got to really dig into. (I have a sense of where all those tomboy versus girly girl memes ultimately descend from now, though.) The other two more just felt out of time than actually wince-inducing, with the third story especially feeling like an affectionate nod to the fan culture of its time. That said, the second one’s whole horrified preoccupation with a Hollywood that refuses to make anything new instead of just remaking the same sure things from its back catalog forevermore either never stopped or has looped back around to feeling real topical.

Insofar as I’m already reading romances, I admit I do have a real soft spot for the whole ‘idiots compensate for total refusal to communicate feelings or desires with grand romantic gestures and hoping the object of their desires will get the idea. It doesn’t work.’ thing that’s a bit of a recurring beat in two of the novellas though.

Prose and characterization wise, all three were pretty well done – though riffing off tropes and archtypes that I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve seen played sincerely and unironically, which did always leave me feeling I was missing context on how to read them. Which is pretty much what I was hoping for going in, to be clear – what’s the point of reading older stories, otherwise? Which is nice, because the actual reading experience of going through it was a bit of a slog. The first one was the real trial, but just overall I’d say the book’s more interesting as a cultural artifact than an artistic work. Oh well, c’est la vie.

#book review #terra incognita #connie willis #classic sf #sff

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mmmthornton · 2 years

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The main four SP boys are so funny and i wish more people appreciated how funny the dynamic and history between specifically the four of them are.

They're the coolest kids in school and everyone wanted to be their friend. No one likes them. When one died (semi)permanently, they ran a The Bachelor-type contest to pick a new bestie. They forced a kid to dress like their dead friend. The vibes were still off though so the dead kid came back. They're eight years old. They're ten years old. They're 9 years old. One of them has an alcohol addiction and depression. They've all seen each other naked. When one of them got herpes, he immediately passed it to the other three. These two things are unrelated. Three of them know the other is a psychopath who will kill people who get in his way and they're just like "wtvr". They hate each other more than anything. They cannot stop being best friends or it'll ruin the future of America. They would kill or die for each other. At 50 years old they still have hissy fits like children out in public over an argument none of them even remembers having. They're obsessed with each other. One of them gave another AIDS. They make each other so much worse for being involved in their lives. There is no low any of them could stoop to that the others would find it impossible to be their friend still.

When Chef said that they're friends "whether you like [each other] or not" he wasn't kidding. Its literally inescapable and thats so funny to their dynamic, why would you ever try to change that lol.

#south park #m4 baby #i love the casa bonita episode because Sheila's face in the car at the end is just #*okay well here's the kid my son almost always complains about and clearly hates but they're friends so he's in my car anyway*#she gets it lol she's a parent #thats just how kids be #*I never want to talk to [x] again! >:((((( *#next day:#*mom can you please drive us to [x]'s house for a sleepover?*#thats normal kid activity lol

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ladyseaforth · 16 days

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Feline Arch, p.2

——

And that case had come. It had come and hit Vincent like a bus, a ton of bricks in the form of Sandra. Beautiful, self-assured Sandra from all those years ago, who stood before him in the kitchen she shared with her son and dog and husband (deceased).

Her tears came in rushes. Sudden bursts as she pointed out the location of plates in the kitchen and described her son’s godmother. The boy was hidden away somewhere in the house, irreparably scarred from stumbling upon his father’s cold, battered body. The dog follows everywhere he goes like a little ghost.

Vincent puts himself to work, whipping out his little black notebook every so often as each new thought, theory and argument occurs to him. He already pictures himself in the courtroom, seeking out the gaps in the story before the enemy can.

He traverses the building, meek but steady behind Sandra, as he examines the attic, the window, the distance of Samuel’s fall. He listens to Sandra’s recount of the anguished day, the music that man played to agitate her, the way her husband drove her interviewer away. The traces of a petty, insecure man.

He still feels the desperate hug that Sandra greeted him with, the first instance in which she did not have to be the reassuring party. A moment’s respite from the vigil she kept over her son who stared blankly at the wall of his bedroom.

He churns all of this information over in his mind as he drives home at midnight, through the snow and sleet. Vincent thinks of ghosts and lost chances, his bed, wine and the cold. He thinks about all of these things in English. The meeting ground.

…

You are typing today, fingers rapid and dancing on the keyboard. Wine practically untouched. You had received a transcribing job, decent pay to supply subtitles to a semi-popular television show in the UK that was spreading over into mainland Europe. Whilst it wasn’t creative, it was something.

The sun bears down upon the city with an unrelenting ferocity, baking the pale shoulders of tourists and causing workers to sweat in their fitted black suits. The inside of the cafe is silent as every customer opts to sit at the tables outside, sunglasses over their eyes and a cigarette dangling loosely between their fingers. A beautiful, urban bliss.

Salomé has escaped to the countryside for the weekend, a work getaway or a team-building exercise or whatever the fuck those corporate ‘families’ do to stop everyone going insane. The apartment had felt too empty, too silent for your liking. Particularly with headphones on, unable to hear noise beyond the sound being projected into your ears. Thus, the cafe.

You had not seen Vincent since your last meeting. You had thought of him extensively. A beautiful, reserved man who had spoken little but when he did, he was kind. The perfect recipient of your romantic daydreams. You did not know what he did, but it was clearly sophisticated. Intelligent. From the elegant cut of his tailored clothing to his deeply perceptive eye, Vincent was an unspoken force.

You pull your headphones off with a sigh, placing them to the side of your laptop. You take a sip from your house Sauvignon and stretch. The mobile phone, abandoned on the table, begins to buzz. You peer at the name on the screen.

‘Sandra.’

Strange. You hadn’t spoken to her in years. Not since the last dinner party, that dinner which still caused your teeth to grind with anxiety. The provocations that bit in the air. Samuel’s hangdog expression. The little boy, sweet and unseeing. Sandra’s power at the centre of it all. It was bound to happen with that many writers in a room. Forces of nature.

You pick up the phone, tapping accept and placing it against your ear.

“Hello? Sandra?”

Her sniffles at the other end, beaten and unlike herself.

“Hello, sorry, yes it’s me.”

…

Vincent intends to be measured, quiet and trustworthy. He has always been a listener, he absorbs the performance of the other and evaluates them in a contained silence. It is what makes him a good lawyer. He tries.

He drags a bony hand through his hair as he surveys the notes he took when at Sandra’s. His office is haphazard, piles of paper and books piled on top of one another. The streets are alive outside, the shouts of drunkards and club-goers ringing from the pavements. The pungent smell of weed hanging in the air.

Vincent’s interest in this case is twofold: victory is good and Sandra must be absolved. He thinks of her in that house, each sound echoing into the vastness that surrounds the chalet.

His posture is bad, spine curled over as he writes out every potential attack and defence that the prosecution could give about this moment in time. About the weighted days that come after. The thunderous wake of Samuel’s fall.

He is too invested. He leans back in the brittle, wooden chair and drags weary eyes over the papers. Information from the post-mortem, the forensic team, initial witness statements. All of the burning emotion boiled down to statistics and impersonal eyes.

Vincent thinks of Sandra. Her bright blue eyes. Her discerning gaze. He thinks of downing a bottle of wine to dull himself to sleep. He thinks of Sauvignon Blanc. He thinks of you.

…

One can write from anywhere, and that is a beauty when it comes to life’s fickle turns. Particularly when you are driving to a remote chalet at the crack of dawn in a shitty pickup, heading towards a family that has been blown apart.

Sandra explained that she had few friends when she moved to the isolated home in France that she occupied with her husband. The husband that demanded they live there. In his territory.

On that stilted phone call, Sandra described little joys in chatting with visitors and interviewers who came (rarely) to the house to talk to her about her writing. Through shaky breaths, her thick German accent informed you that Samuel had passed very suddenly. That she was desperate for someone that was not within the law or legal sectors. That she was sorry for what had happened between you both before.

And now you were gripping the wheel with white knuckles as the tyres of the pickup grappled with the icy terrain. Cheeks rosy with the cold.

You were more interested than entirely sympathetic at this point. Interested as to why Sandra saw you as the first port of call in her time of need. Not entirely sympathetic because of who Samuel was. Devastated for Daniel, a little boy tested by life far too young.

The radio was playing a shitty top charts track with a piercing female vocalist and a worn out beat. The juxtaposition between the song and your thoughts made you laugh, the whole situation being so ludicrous. The black comedy of it all. The suspicions that were yet to develop.

The house drew up over the horizon, nestled in an awkward patch upon the hill. Everything appeared very still.

Oh so still.

…

Sandra answers the door with half of her typical stature, looking worn and pallid in her thick, knitted jumper. Relief lightens her heavy eyes. She does not speak.

“Hi,” you try, bouncing on your toes from the cold.

“You came,” she states, in a typically German matter-of-fact manner. She smiles gently, descending the small stairs and taking you into an embrace. One far stronger than her appearance betrayed.

“I did,” you respond, into her neck, “I’m so sorry, Sandra. This is awful for you and Daniel, how are you both keeping?”

Sandra holds the hug for a moment longer before withdrawing, still holding you by the shoulders.

“Come in, you must be cold. I have the fire on,” she says, ignoring the question. You let it slide and follow her lead into the space. The place smells homely, of wood and dog and flowers and smoke. The light shines white through the expansive windows.

“Where is Monica?” you try again, aiming for easier questions that do not concern feeling or Samuel. Sandra hums to herself in response.

“Upstairs,” she speaks, “with Daniel and Snoop. She has been helping us with keeping the house together. I have not had much time for it. The police and my lawyer have been occupying my time. All of their questions.” You nod deeply, trying to show your understanding for her situation which you have never experienced. Sandra laughs a little at your eagerness to empathise. To alleviate her misfortune.

“You do not have to do that, I don’t even want to talk about the case - or Samuel - or any of it really,” she explains, locking eyes with you, “I just wanted to talk to you, unhindered by… him, you understand?” You manage a breath before she continues, “No, not unhindered, that is a bad word choice, it is more -”

“Sandra,” you interrupt, “I understand what you mean, and I’m glad that you reached out to me. I was a little surprised, but I’m glad.” You smile and search into her eyes, attempting to communicate your earnestness. She smiles waveringly in response, rubbing her face with her hands. Wedding ring glinting on her finger.

A silence settles between the two of you, the only sounds being the scuffling of Snoop’s paws upstairs and Monica’s voice.

“Would you, uhm, like some wine, I have some wine in the kitchen?” Sandra’s voice searches through the quiet, “Just so we can talk, catch up, before I am interrupted by my lawyer again?” You nod, smiling gently and relaxing from the tension.

“You remember me well, Sandra,” you quip, coming closer to her in the kitchen space. You settle your hip against the island in the middle of the space. Sandra exhales amusedly, turning to pick two glasses hanging from a rack overhead.

“I am not one to forget,” she retorts, setting the glasses onto the surface and reaching for a bottle. A deep maroon with a wrinkled, vintage paper label.

…

The sun is low on the hills, the light blinding in combination with the pure snow on the ground. Vincent’s sunglasses are struggling, he continues to wince at the brightness.

He hoped that Sandra had had a bit of a break. From him, from legal tongue-twists, from accusation and suspicion. From her having to repeat her line ‘I did not kill him’ and for him to respond ‘That is not the point’.

The house appears untouched, apart from the new feature of a battered pick-up resting on the makeshift driveway. It is spattered with salt and dirt from the roads, baking in the cool sun. Vincent frowns slightly, Sandra would call him if anyone had visited to interfere or ask any more questions. She hadn’t informed him of anyone that was close to her, from what she had explained her life was isolated. Controlled in regards to friendships.

He pulls the car over and parks alongside the pick-up. He peers inside the vehicle as he walks past it. Haphazardly packed bag, shoes, scarf, coat, books. Vincent does not linger. Knocking on the front door, he waits by the step, shivering through the cold air.

He hears voices, muttering and responding to one another behind the doorway. It slides open, revealing Sandra, rosy cheeked and eyes brighter than when he had last seen her. When they were dull and wet with swollen eyelids.

“Vincent,” Sandra murmurs, broken out of her trance before turning back to the room, “It is ok, it is my lawyer.”

Vincent stuffs his hands further into his pockets, “Ah, you have company. I’m afraid - I am sorry I did not realise. I was hoping to consolidate more information with you, there may be more - ah- police coming to visit, inspect.”

Sandra nods solemnly, “No, I understand. Come in, come in,” she sweeps the door wide open, “It is a friend of mine, you are fine, come in.” Vincent glances at Sandra with hesitation before shuffling through the door. She turns away to head back to the sofas situated around the fire. Sandra picks up a glass of wine, filled halfway, from the table and settles back into the armchair.

Vincent’s eyes search for the guest, always ready to identify friend or foe. It is to his surprise that his eyes land upon you.

You, holding a glass of wine once again, returning a similar expression of shock.

“Uhm,” you start, ever so eloquently as Sandra looks between you two.

“You both know one another?” she asks, leading Vincent to cut in with his reply, “No, not particularly, we met at a cafe in the city before. It is one where I do a lot of my paperwork.”

Sandra makes a noise of recognition, features breaking into a polite smile as she glances over at you. She chuckles lightly into her glass, looking over the rim at you in a manner all too similar to Salomé. An acknowledgement of a bite in the air.

“Yes, uhm, it’s the Italian place I go to for writing, and uh, the wine,” you add, awkwardly lifting the wine glass to back your statement up. Vincent nods, almost as if he were corroborating your statement. Agreeing that ‘yes, you do that.’

“Well, Vincent is my lawyer for everything that is, uhm, to do with Samuel and the accident,” Sandra’s tone darkens slightly, words slow and precise, “and well, you are a friend from long ago.”

She turns to Vincent, “She interviewed me for a piece a long, long,” Sandra laughs, “time ago. We always kept in touch but hadn’t spoken much since we moved out here. I thought it would be a good time to reconnect.”

You found it slightly strange, the way she explained to Vincent who you were and why she had reached out to you but you smiled and nodded all the same. You sipped your wine as Vincent took the information in.

“Ah, well, that - that is good,” he encourages gently, “It is necessary in these circumstances.” He pauses awkwardly, unsure of where to look. You were beginning to enjoy his uncertainty, his demure nature, not weak but gentle and steady. Sensitive to each change in the conversation, to the energy of a room.

Despite the tone, Sandra laughs to herself. A black comedic laugh as her lawyer and old friend try to tiptoe around the topic of her dead husband who she may or may not have murdered.

“Vincent,” she finally says, “Will you join us for some wine? Afterwards we can talk legal things in private, for now I just want to,” Sandra makes a hand gesture, searching for her words, “I just want to chat, act like normal human beings, yes?”

Vincent shifts on his feet, looking between Sandra and you, where you are curled up in the corner of the sofa. Socks facing the fireplace, the flicker of flames dancing across your face. Your eye contact wavers like the fire.

“Yes,” he finally agrees, “Of course, the ‘legal things’ can wait,” he gently mocks her phrasing, leading both women to smile. Vincent steps further into the room, walking past Sandra as she goes to retrieve another glass. He sits down on the other side of the couch to you, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye and smiling. Your mouth quirks upwards in response.

The orange glow dances over everyone in the room.

—

Part One!

#vincent renzi #vincent renzi x reader #Vincent Renzi x oc #anatomy of a fall #sandra hüller #swann arlaud #sandra voyter #fanfic

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