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#in like... seventh grade she had a relationship with the boy i had a crush on and I didn’t really like her because of that
bradshawsbaby · 1 year
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to the nines
pairing: rhett abbott x childhood friend!reader
author’s note: this was originally supposed to be a drabble, but it got away from me slightly and turned into something a little longer (surprise, surprise).
based on this prompt from @therebeccaw. i also tried to incorporate a request from @mermaidxatxheart about the moment when rhett decided he wanted his relationship with his childhood friend to be more.
special thanks to @luminousnotmatter for being the best outer range viewing buddy™️ (even when i jumped a couple episodes ahead of her 🤭) and @whisperofsong for not being mad at me for falling in love with her man 😉
warnings: some brief language, mentions of alcohol, and fluff sprinkled in for good measure.
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You and Rhett were friends.
You always had been friends.
You always would be friends.
Just friends.
“He’s just a friend,” you’d insisted hotly in the seventh grade when some of your classmates had been teasing you about your “big ol’ crush on Rhett Abbott.”
“She’s just a friend,” Rhett told the boys who had been ribbing him and making lewd comments when they found out he was taking you to the junior prom.
“We’re just friends,” you’d chorus together whenever you happened to travel with Rhett to cheer him on at an out-of-town rodeo and elderly women in the crowd commented on what a cute couple the two of you made.
So, like the good friend that he was, Rhett had been gracious enough to agree to attend your former college roommate’s wedding as your plus one. You knew all the other friends and acquaintances who’d be attending would have boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, and wives on their arms, and the thought of showing up alone had been too wounding to your pride to even contemplate. You and Rhett always had a good time together, and you knew he’d make sure the night was memorable.
What you hadn’t known was that he was going to take your breath away and make it damn near impossible to concentrate on anything beyond the sight of him in that suit.
You’d known Rhett Abbott for almost your entire life, and never had you known him to get as dressed up as he was tonight. The closest he’d ever come was when Cecilia managed to wrangle his butt to church on Sunday and force him into a respectable button down. Hell, even when he’d taken you to the junior prom, the most he’d managed was a “clean pair o’ jeans and my nicest flannel,” as he’d put it.
But tonight.
Tonight, Rhett Abbott looked like one of those Hollywood actors the ladies at the hair salon in town loved to swoon over as they flipped through their magazines while waiting for their dye jobs to set.
Dressed to the nines, he looked like a million bucks and you found yourself unable to tear your eyes away from him.
You’d nearly tripped and fell down the damn stairs when he’d come to your house to pick you up earlier, the sight of him in that crisp black suit and tie, with his hair slicked back and his eyes somehow looking bluer than you’d ever seen them, enough to rob you of all coherent thought.
Rhett had just chuckled in that easygoing way of his. “It’s a monkey suit, I know,” he grimaced, holding out an arm to you as he walked you to where his truck was parked outside your family’s home. “But when you told me the wedding was gonna be in Laramie, I figured a clean pair o’ jeans and my nicest flannel wasn’t going to cut it,” he added with a wink, helping you up into the cab of the truck.
“You clean up real nice, Abbott,” you managed to get out past lips that suddenly felt as dry as sandpaper.
Real nice? He’d never looked better and you’d never wanted him more.
For all that you’d spent years trying to convince everybody—especially yourself—that you and Rhett were just friends, you knew in your heart of hearts that it wasn’t true. You wanted more. You’d always wanted more.
You wanted him to be your real plus one, not just the childhood pal who’d agreed to tag along so you wouldn’t have to go stag.
As silly as you knew it was, you couldn’t help the rush of pride you felt when your former housemates and classmates from your college days rushed to bombard you at the reception with questions about your “sexy date.”
“How long have you two been together?”
“Where did you meet him?”
“Does he have a twin brother?”
“Is he as good in bed as he looks?”
You laughed and shrugged and hoped your embarrassment wasn’t too apparent as you told them, “Oh, no, we’re just friends.”
Lucy, who had been one of your housemates during your junior and senior years, arched a skeptical brow as she sipped on her Dirty Shirley. “Please. You have not been able to stop eye fucking that guy all night. Just friends my ass.”
“Lucy!” you gasped, feeling your cheeks and neck grow warm in mortification. You glanced around sheepishly, praying that Rhett wasn’t within earshot. He’d gone off to the bar to get the two of you a couple of whiskey sours.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” Lucy smirked, swirling her straw around in her glass. Then she suddenly leaned in closer. “But don’t be embarrassed, sweet pea,” she whispered conspiratorially. “That boy hasn’t been able to keep those gorgeous baby blues off you either.”
Before you could fully register Lucy’s comment, let alone unpack its meaning, your friend was stepping back and grinning, her gaze landing just beyond your shoulder. “Oh, heya, Rhett.”
Stiffening slightly, you turned and met his blue gaze, warm and steady and quite determinedly fixed on you. You instantly felt your mouth dry up again. Damn this man and that damned suit.
“This little sweet pea and I were just talking ’bout how much we wanna dance,” Lucy went on, slinging an arm around your shoulders and nudging you pointedly. “So I better go find my husband before he finds himself another partner,” she added with the exuberant laugh she had always been known for, flouncing off and leaving you torn between wanting to strangle her and wanting to laugh at her tenacity.
Left alone with Rhett, you looked up to find his gaze still fixed on your face, his lips upturned in a smile that almost looked shy. But when had Rhett Abbott ever been shy around you?
Setting down the whiskey sours he’d obtained, still untouched, on the table, he held out a hand to you. “What do you say then, sweet pea?” he drawled, teasing the nickname Lucy always used for you. “Wanna dance with me?”
Trying to pretend your stomach wasn’t currently doing about fifty consecutive somersaults, you just nodded and slipped your hand into his. It was rough and calloused and absolutely perfect.
Just as Etta James’ At Last started thrumming through the speakers, Rhett pulled you onto the dance floor and tugged you into his arms, one arm wrapping around your waist as he maintained his grip on your hand with the other.
“Just like junior prom,” he grinned, his thumb gently brushing against the back of your hand as you swayed to the music.
Funny, you didn’t remember feeling like every nerve ending in your body was on fire when you were at junior prom.
“Mhm, though I have to say you clean up much nicer tonight,” you laughed, resting your free hand on his shoulder as you gazed up at him.
“I’ll have you know that was the nicest flannel I owned at the time,” Rhett scoffed, feigning hurt.
You just giggled in response, which made Rhett’s facade crack as his face split into an amused grin.
“You looked beautiful that night,” he murmured suddenly, his grip on your waist tightening by a fraction. “But I think you look even more beautiful tonight,” he added, his expression suddenly serious.
It was strange how your mouth managed to feel like the Sahara, while your legs felt like water.
“Thank you, Rhett,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. Your brain was so addled that you weren’t even able to come up with a teasing response.
“County fair’s coming up soon,” he said, abruptly changing the subject, though his piercing blue eyes remained trained on your face.
“Mhm,” you mumbled, nodding slowly. “I think my mama’s gonna get a booth.”
“I was thinkin’ you and me could go together,” Rhett said, his voice suddenly sounding even lower and deeper than usual.
“Of course,” you nodded, not phased in the slightest. You and Rhett had been going to county fairs together since you were kids.
What did phase you was the way Rhett leaned in close and brushed a loose lock of hair away from your cheek, his lips skimming your skin as he whispered in your ear, “I don’t want to go as your friend.”
Your breath caught in your throat instantly and you were immediately grateful that he was holding onto you so tightly. “A date, Abbott?” you questioned, peering up at him as your pulse pounded in your veins.
“A date,” Rhett nodded, not a single trace of hesitation or ounce of a waver in his voice.
“You sure?” you asked, a slight tremor in your voice. There would be no going back if you did this.
“Never surer,” Rhett replied, his fingertips gently pressing into the small of your back as he pulled you closer.
“Alright then, Abbott,” you smiled, barely able to contain your excitement. “It’s a date.”
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lizmaximoff · 11 months
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JIM HOPPER FIC RECS
An official list of Jim Hopper x Reader and Jim Hopper x OC recommendations (an update from this list).
Fics are arranged by one-shot or multi-chapter, then by rating, and then alphabetically. 
This arsenal contains 97 FICS as of 5/14/23.
To see a masterlist of my own Jim Hopper fics, click here.
LIZZIE’S TOP FIVE
Baking for Bang | E ( @daughterofthebrowncoats ) - The reader has been pining after the big, handsome Chief of Police since the day he walked into her bakery.  Using the wiles available to her – namely her baking skills – she sets out to slowly seduce him, culminating on a wintery day in Hopper’s cabin with a box of baked goods and an interesting confession. 
Pain in my Heart | M ( @flamehairedwritings ) - It’s your senior year and your best friend is still a dick. It’s your senior year and your best friend is still an ass. It’s your senior year and your best friend, Jim Hopper, is still trying to get you to help him with his homework.
Popsicles and Water Hoses | E ( @thebackseatofjimsblazer ) - The moment that you had seen what Jim’s shorts looked like with his hard on pressing against his jeans was the moment you realized that Jim could be a friend and a boy. That was also the moment you developed something for Jim you wouldn't be able to describe correctly for a while. Or where you and Jim are spending time together on a summers day after graduation.
Some Legs are Meant to Be Broken | E ( @boogiewrites ) - When Hopper breaks both of his legs, and you’re the newest employee at the station, it means you get recruited to be his babysitter. Would he be as frustratingly difficult to deal with as you imagine?
Hoping for Hopper | E ( @daughterofthebrowncoats ) - The reader runs a bar in town and her favorite customer Hopper comes in for a drink. The evening takes an unpleasant turn when a former classmate comes in and stirs up trouble for the reader, making her doubt herself.  Hopper steps in to help like the gentleman he is…n’t.
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AMAZING HOPPER WRITERS
@bitchinsinclair
@boogiewrites
@empresskylo
@flamehairedwritings
@irrelevantwriter
saltedtears via AO3
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ONE-SHOT FICS
Caregiver Prompt | K ( @thewintersoldierdisaster ) - N/A
Eggnog and Trees | K ( @darling-i-read-it ) - Request: Since it’s the Christmas season, can you write a Hopper x reader where he’s kinda a grinch and she’s just a little ball of love and light. They’re friends but then on Christmas he confesses or something like that.
At the Lake Prompt | T ( @thewintersoldierdisaster ) - N/A
First Date | T ( @flamehairedwritings ) - N/A
Handyman | T ( generallycynical via AO3 ) - You broke your ankle while chasing someone and now you're stuck on desk duty. You complain about your grass needing mowed and the next day, Hopper shows up at your door.
He Seems | T ( @kilyra ) - Running into an ex is always awkward, but when your ex is Hopper, you fully expect it to be awful.
Home is Where the Shitty Coffee Is | T ( underthenorthstar via AO3 ) - You’ve been tutoring Eleven for the year in between the Demogorgon and the Mind Flayer. You’ve managed to develop a massive crush on her surrogate father, Jim Hopper, in that time. One late night over cups of bad coffee, things finally come to a head.
Just What the Doctor Ordered | T ( underthenorthstar via AO3 ) - You fall and injure yourself. An overprotective but sweet Hopper takes care of you.
Kisses as a Distraction Prompt | T ( @clonecaptains ) - N/A
Ranking | T ( @psychiatristreturning ) - N/A
Sneaky Chief | T ( @hawkins-hoe ) - A parent teacher conference with the handsome Chief of Hawkins leads to a sneaky dinner date.
Sweet on You | T ( xfandomwritingsx via AO3 ) - You make Jim dress up as Santa for the Christmas party.
Weeknight Take Out | T ( pettifogger via AO3 ) - N/A
Without Filters | T ( adkinsmayo via AO3 ) - You and Hopper have been best friends since seventh grade. You can see right through his bullshit and that’s what he liked most about you. Through every relationship and every shitty situation, you were always there for each other. Now the junior prom was just around the corner and you both planned to keep your childhood promise of being each other’s date. That was until Ginger Peterson came into the picture. You tried not to be mad, but you absolutely were and something was telling you it wasn’t just because he had broken his promise.
Candy Hearts | M ( @flamehairedwritings ) - N/A
Cups | M ( @flamehairedwritings ) - Prompt: Character A and Character B, sworn enemies, are chosen to prepare the company Christmas Party.
Kisses on the Back Prompt | M ( @clonecaptains ) - N/A
Long Time Coming | M ( @xfandomwritingsx ) - You and Hopper finally give into each other.
Sunday Stroll | M ( TheOlderDixonBoy via AO3 ) - You enjoy taking walks in the morning by yourself, but when Jim Hopper starts to drive by and say good morning each day, you begin to truly look forward to them. It also doesn’t hurt that you’re pretty sure Chief Hopper enjoys these meetings as well.
A Very Hopper Birthday | M ( @daughterofthebrowncoats ) - It’s the reader’s 21st birthday and while out with her friends, comes across her good friend Chief Hopper.  Riding high on a little bit of liquid courage, she decides to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, with regards to her crush on Hopper.
Am I Tough Enough | E ( kitten_michael via AO3 ) - N/A
An Act of Nature | E ( @boogiewrites ) - You move back to Hawkins, luckily you hit it off with a friend of your step brothers. When Chief Hopper finally gets around to asking you out, what is it going to take for the two of you to find time alone? An act of nature?
Behind Closed Doors | E ( @tricksters-captain ) - You get into some trouble and Hopper hides you away in the cabin until it blows over but isolation isn’t for you.
Bloom | E ( @hoppersmut | DEACTIVATED ) - You trust your friend Jim Hopper completely. You’ve asked him to do something for you that no one else will ever be able to do again. You’ve trusted him to take your virginity.
Boiled Over | E ( adkinsmayo via AO3 ) - Hopper’s dominant side is usually his only side. But it rarely ever comes out in the bedroom, he’s always afraid he’ll hurt you. But when it does, Jim is ruthless. But it usually takes you being just as ruthless to get him to lose control. Or in this case, take control. And you know what they say: the heat can make you do crazy things.
Catch Me if You Can, Chief! | E ( My_Name_Is_Nobody via AO3 ) - It's the 4th of July in Hawkins, and while everybody's having fun at the amusement park, the only one who's catching your attention is Jim Hopper, Chief of Police — and he's looking at you, equally interested.
Caught | E ( @davidharbovr | DEACTIVATED ) - N/A
Chief Who | E ( @daughterofthebrowncoats ) - The reader is new to town and had a mildly awkward first encounter with the local chief of police.  Then, come to find out, his car is the one she’s working on and he needs a ride home.  Hopper wants to know why she’s nervous, is it all cops or just him?  The reader feels obligated to prove she’s not nervous at all and one thing leads to another and somehow they end up against the wall of Hopper’s trailer.  
Cherries a la Mode | E ( @alias-b ) - Summer of ‘83. Jim’s having a bad day at work and Lucy shows up to brighten his life. Only if he allows it. A game blooms when they’re alone in his office.
Christmas Miracle | E ( @flamehairedwritings ) - You know how to make all the hours of Christmas shopping worth it. 
Clodhopper | E ( @daughterofthebrowncoats ) - Hopper gets drunk and horny…and hungry…
Come Away with Me | E ( @halfway-happyyy ) - You had the misfortune of marrying one of Hawkins sleaziest men, but when Jim Hopper enters your life, you realize that everything really does happen for a reason, and every choice has a consequence.
The County Fair | E ( @acciosnapes | DEACTIVATED ) - Barbeque grill outs, pool parties and more- late nights in Hawkins, Indiana was never really that dull, especially if you were the mayors daughter. And, especially fun if you were fucking your dads best friend.
Cuffed Up Chief | E ( saltedtears via AO3 ) - Prompt: There are so many fics out there with Hopper in control but like.. What if there was one where the reader has him in cuffs and is just teasing the ever loving shit outta him?
Dad’s Best Friend | E ( @empresskylo ) - hopper is your dad's best friend. you definitely should not be attracted to him. at the very least, he should definitely not be attracted to you...
Do Not Touch | E ( @flamehairedwritings ) - A visit to Murray’s house of wonders provides a lot more than you bargained for.
Feral | E ( @irrelevantwriter ) - Jim was trapped in the Upside Down. He made it out and back to you. But all that time away without you means it’s only a matter of time before he snaps.
Good Girl, Bad Woman | E ( @flamehairedwritings ) - You’ll get this round.
Golden Thread | E ( Verbo via AO3 ) - It’s New Year’s Eve, 1982, and tonight you might actually have a chance to act on your long-standing crush on Chief Jim Hopper.
Green | E ( mrs_squirrel_chester via AO3 ) - You’ve had your eye on Hopper for a while now.
Handyman | E ( Pnutbladdr via AO3 ) - Hopper stumbles across your private drawer of sex toys, and one in particular catches his eye
Happy Drinking with Hopper | E ( @likedovesinthewnd ) - After a grueling work week, you and Hopper decide to blow off some steam at your local dive bar.
Haunted House Prompt | E ( @chiefhopalong ) - N/A
Home Sweet Home | E ( @bitchinsinclair ) - Reader entices Hopper to fuck her by wearing his Hawkins PD jacket.
Hop to It | E ( @sherrybaby14 ) - Hopper arrests you for protesting.
Hopper BJ Fic | E ( @lucifer-in-leather ) - N/A
Hopper Can Have Nice Things, Too | E ( @irrelevantwriter ) - A funhouse leads to some fun. 
In the Back of the Truck | E ( @crewhonk ) - You and Jim Hopper have some fun in the back of his truck during the Snowball.
Imagine: Riding Jim Hopper | E ( @imagine-fandom-randoms | DEACTIVATED ) - N/A
Late for A Date | E ( @flamehairedwritings ) - N/A
Late Night Talking | E ( @laureliciousdefinition ) - You visit Hop on a slow night at the station. 
Little Girl/Old Man | E ( DeathBecomesNerds via AO3 ) - After an all-too-adventurous day with Eleven and her friends, Chief Hopper and Eleven's new guardian get a little handsy with each other.
Long Day, Longer Night | E ( @boogiewrites ) - A long day turns into an even longer night after you find yourself alone with the Chief…yet again.
New Year’s Eve | E ( @flamehairedwritings ) - Prompt: Character A can’t travel to see their family, so they invite their grumpy loner neighbor Character B.
Next Contestant | E ( TheCharleeMonstah via AO3 ) - Prompt: JIM HOPPER IN A BAR FIGHT AFTER SOMEBODY GRABS HIS GIRL'S ASS, BAD MOON RISING PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. SHE IS LIKE 'hopper no-' and he's like 'HOPPER YES' and she ends patching up his cuts and such, maybe a lil smut if you fancy?? ❤️
Not the Fun Kind of Daddy Issues | E ( @boogiewrites ) - Jim Hopper is your ex husband. The fire burned bright but you just aren’t good for each other, you know it. You both try to deal with divorce and trying to raise Jane together despite your differences. Will she end up bringing you back together, or tearing you apart? Or maybe a little of both?
The Main Course | E ( @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash ) - Hopper gets stood up on his date, so you decide to make a move.
Make Me | E ( @likedovesinthewnd ) - You’re Hawkins’ finest prosecutor, smart and resourceful, beautiful and cunning. With most of your time spent at the station, butting heads with the Chief of police, what happens when all that tension comes to a head?
Memories Made in the Coldest Winter | E ( bluetriangles via AO3 ) - When your car dies during the first blizzard of the season, an unlikely savior appears in the form of Jim Hopper.
Mouthful | E ( @eleanor-gillespie ) - Literally the entire thing is reader is giving Hopper a blow job. Hopper is encouraging and adorable and has a dirtier mouth than you.
Movie Night | E ( @flamehairedwritings ) - N/A
The Outfit | E ( @eleanor-gillespie ) - You work retail at the local JCPenney in the men's section. You catch the Chief of Police flirting with a new look... You help boost his confidence.
The Photo Booth | E ( @flamehairedwritings ) - You and Hop need more… posed pictures together.
Picture Perfect | E ( @ssahotchswifemain ) - Hopper and his girlfriend make lasting memories together through photographs. 
Pursue | E ( @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash ) - How far can you push Hopper before he loses control?
Reconciliation | E ( @loveberrie ) - In which y/n and Jim Hopper have recently broken up, but when an incident requiring his presence arises, things may just reconcile. 
Role Reversal | E ( @davidharbovr | DEACTIVATED ) - N/A
Roughin’ It | E ( @glitteringroseangel ) - When Hopper takes off the weekend, The Reader convinces him to go on a camping trip together to help clear his head.
Soaked | E ( @hawkinswhores | DEACTIVATED ) - N/A
Slippery Hell | E ( saltedtears via AO3 ) - Prompt: Hopper trying to fit in the bathtub with his sweetheart.
Sweet Summer Lemonade | E ( @eupheme ) - You go to Murray’s for some help, you end up with a little more than you bargained for.
Tequila Sunrise | E ( MissFiction via AO3 ) - Jim Hopper encounters an office assistant he's been interested in at his favourite seedy bar and demands her attentions all to himself.
There’s More to Mornings Besides Coffee and Contemplation | E ( @irrelevantwriter ) - It’s a special wake up call for our Chief of Police. One that doesn’t include coffee and contemplation.
Three in the Morning | E ( @mikahowl ) - Set right at the beginning of season 1. Reader’s back in Hawkins after graduating from college a couple months ago. As she searches for a more permanent job, she works part-time at the police station. She loves the job, despite the... history between her and her boss, Chief Hopper. A troublemaker in high school, she’s had her fair share of run ins with Hop in the past. But, that’s just it: it’s all in the past. Or is it?
“Too” Big | E ( @bitchinsinclair ) - N/A
Truck Stop | E ( saltedtears via AO3 ) - Prompt: Fucking Hawkins' Chief of police in his truck.
The Upper Hand | E ( @ashlybee ) - working at hawkins police department has it’s perks when jim hopper is your boss, but after a day of you teasing him, he forces you to go to the annual picnic. you haven’t learned your lesson and you continue to tease at the event and hopper puts you in your place.
When It Goes Wrong, It Goes Right | E ( duchess_of_brighton via AO3 ) - Prompt: Where reader tries to make a sexy show for Hopper and it doesn’t go right and she gets embarrassed but Hop comforts her and sexy times ensue…
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MULTI-CHAPTER FICS
The Boys in Blue | NR ( MB234 via AO3 ) - Police Chief Jim Hopper was not a man who believed in impossible things. In the pale stark light of the horrifying, awe striking things he’d seen last year, truly the stuff of goddamned nightmares, was it really so impossible that a small, graceful, fucking gorgeous woman half his age could want him?
Moonrise Radio | T ( @whirlybirbs ) - You’re Hawkins high’s new science teacher, faculty advisor for the newly reinstated Hawkins AV club, and crazy townie who overhears a Russian comminucae on a broken ham radio. Chief Jim hopper is into it. Joyce is a good wing-woman and the kids just want to listen the the buggles. 
Ours | M ( @alloftheimagines ) - in which the reader saves hopper from the russian prison camp, and after a soft reunion, shares life-changing news: a baby he had no idea existed awaits him in hawkins.
See You Tomorrow | M ( Teadum via AO3 ) - While you’re staying with your sister Karen and her family you meet a certain police chief when he arrives to drop off his daughter.
Slow Hands | E ( @thebackseatofjimsblazer ) - Robin talks you into going out to the bar for drinks and attention, but you meet Hopper & he promises you things no man has been able to give to you.
Coffee and Infatuation | E ( @likedovesinthewnd ) - Hawkins resident grump and messy Chief of police, Jim Hopper makes an unlikely friend on his quest for coffee. His tumultuous past keeps him from pursuing a relationship. But how long before his true feelings can no longer be ignored?
Don’t Call Her Annie | E ( @boogiewrites ) - Annette Horowitz is Joyce’s younger sister. She hasn’t been the perfect sibling or aunt but after she finds out Will is missing, she finds herself crashing back into Hawkins to do everything in her power to help, driven by a need to prove herself. She hasn’t been around much in the past 20 or so years, but when she comes back home she finds old friends, old habits and old feelings she’d thought she’d finally escaped. Can she really change or is she just kidding herself?
For Your Age | E ( @acciosnapes | DEACTIVATED ) - After graduation, you want one thing, and one thing only. And his name is Chief Jim Hopper. [ PART TWO ] 
Homecoming | E ( duchess_of_brighton via AO3 ) - You and Hopper first met when you were both in downward spirals, grieving and lost. For a while, you gave each other solace, but it didn't last. Two years later you return to Hawkins, hoping to make amends and walk away without regrets this time. Funny how life never turns out quite the way you plan it...
Hungry Eyes | E ( adkinsmayo via AO3 ) - You never thought older men were your type. Older men still weren’t really your type. Unless that older man happened to be Jim Hopper. And from the way you two dance around each other in the office, makes you think younger women just might be his type. Or maybe you just happen to be his type.
Looking for the Magic | E ( @alias-b ) - Nothing ever happens in Hawkins. Jim Hopper told himself that when he was drawn back to his hometown after losing everything. Lucy Garland would disagree. The monsters here are just cleverly disguised in fine suits.
Ride Home | E ( @empresskylo ) - you had always thought chief jim hopper was hot. and you knew he thought the same about you, he just tried to hide it because it was wrong–he knew your dad for fuck’s sake… (oh, and you were still in high school.) however, after hopper crashes a house party, you ask him for a ride home. hopper briefly loses his self-control promising to never do it again…
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SPECIAL FICS
Santa Baby | E ( @trailerparkgrl ) - N/A (Based on Violent Night)
Three’s Company | E ( @irrelevantwriter ) - our coworkers decide to pop in for a late night visit.
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259 notes · View notes
sofoulandfairaday · 7 months
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Since you did a James HC post, do you have any Lily headcanons?
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Lilyyyy. Let's get right into it, sorry for the delay loves.
Kind. Incredibly kind. She would help a younger student in need, and always give friends and foes alike the benefit of the doubt. She wanted to see the good in people.
Part of her internal struggle, when she grew up, was grappling with the evils of the world. There are people who are truly evil, who want to see you hurt or dead just because of who you are. This painful realisation ultimately made her steely, stronger.
Short-tempered. She would get irritated, yell, even hex, very quickly, but it would also pass very quickly. She wasn't rancorous.
This is also why she didn't make peace with Severus even after he apologised. If she had just been angry about him calling her a Mudblood, she would have probably forgiven him. No, it was the realization, like we see in that scene outside the Fat Lady's portrait, that they had become fundamentally different people. They didn't share the same values, they didn't see the world in the same way.
And since she was a woman of principle, she couldn't accept being a Death Eater's “exception to the rule”.
She was popular but had few real friends. She didn't have the life-changing friendships James had (better yet, she did in Severus, but we all know how that went), so when they got together, his friends basically became her friends too.
She got on well with the Marauders, Remus most of all.
Still, I find it a bit sad (personally).
She probably had very cordial, even good relationships with the Gryffindor girls in her year, but it was the kind of friendship that dies down after school.
Good grades, but she also studied a lot. She wasn't naturally talented like Sirius or James, she earned every single success (and she had many, academically speaking).
Remus' study buddy in their last few years.
Very good at Potions, which was also her favourite subject. I think she would have grown up to work in the field if she had been given the chance.
Also a skilful duellist.
Idk if Hogwarts had a little student-run newspaper at the time, but if it did, Lily definitely wrote some very pro-Muggle articles in there. It got her more than some harassment from the Slytherins.
She grew up in a lower to middle-class background. She wasn't dirt poor like the Snapes were, but she wasn't by any means rich. She grew up with some of Petunia's hand-me-downs and listened to her parents' relief when they heard they wouldn't have to send her to university. This gave her an appreciation for money that James didn't have.
She wasn't superficial by any means, but as a teenage girl, it must have been wonderful to have a boy buy you gifts (even expensive ones for their age) and take you out on “fancy” dates.
Loved being a witch, used magic even for the most minuscule things, but was very proud of her Muggleborn heritage.
Had she lived, she would have loved Hermione. “Mudblood and proud of it!” is something I can see Lily saying.
Unlike Hermione, she wasn't a SJW-type. I don't see her as someone actively fighting for house-elf rights, for example. I can vividly picture a conversation between her and Hermione that goes a bit like some conversations between young feminist girls and their (still feminist) grandmothers when you try to explain intersectionality or something of the sort.
Bonded with Sirius over their shitty siblings.
James was her one and only boyfriend. She had crushes before, maybe even kissed a couple of guys, but she was one of those girls who just didn't have time for boys.
This being said, her crush on James Potter started way before seventh year. He was charming, popular, good with a snitch, funny. However, her dislike for him was absolutely genuine. She liked him but she would have never given him the time of day hadn't he changed.
She never hated Severus. Even years after they were no longer friends, the thought of him aroused more pain than anger. And I do think that, had she survived Voldemort's attack, she would have eventually forgiven him and patched things up with him (although it is my firm belief that things wouldn't have gone back to what they were).
Not even on her part. She wouldn't have fallen in love with him or anything, but he was one of the few things that was hers before it was her and James'. It was one of the things that connected her to her childhood, that sense of lost youth that we so often seek to find again when we grow up. No, had Lily lived, Severus wouldn't have seen her the way he did in canon. He was directly responsible for her death and spent his life crushed by that guilt. Whether you liked them romantically or platonically, being responsible for another person's murder shifts your whole world. If she had lived, he wouldn't have put her on a pedestal and she likely wouldn't have remained the most important person of his life even years after her death.
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aroaceconfessions · 11 months
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I have always been all about love. As a child i was a typical little girl, y'know, pink, pretending to be a princess and watching Barbie movies, a lot of kids movies in general. Love was in almost all of them, so as a child i also wanted to smooch my Ken and have a happy life with a boyfriend.
I was constantly chasing after my friend trying to kiss him (we were even together for a few years in the kindergarten/first class until he broke up with me, so you could say that i already had my first relationship heh)
Then my interest in romance started to fade slowly as i grew up, you know, sometimes i thought about it and also about IT (although it always grossed me out) but not much more then a normal tween girl would do, i think.
Sometimes i thought i was gay, i always knew one of my famale classmates was pretty and i still think she's cute. I also saw a lot of people on the internet that i thought we're gorgeous, but even when i questioned myself if i actually had a crush on somebody (when i thought twice in a row that they are pretty) deep down i knew that the answer was no, and i was just trying to fool myself.
Seventh grade. Oh boy.
This is the time where teens usually start thinking about romance, right? My cousin - she's my age - told me how she was in a couple of internet relationships and how one of them litterally showed up to her school dance to meet her (he is her age and he lived in the area, don't worry) when she broke up with him because she didn't actually wanted to date him when the possibility showed up. And i asked myself "why bother then" if she didn't want to date him for real then why did she "date him" at all?
My classmate also got a boyfriend at some point that she mentioned at school (at least in my presence) once, when she told a story how they were together 2 weeks and never spoke again. "Why then?" I still asked myself.
I thought, and still think, that 13-14 is too young to date. If you don't really want to try, or you don't really feel anything for the other person, or you litterally don't know them, then don't date?? It seemed so obvious to me. So I set myself a rule to follow. No dating before 15. First of all, 15 is the age that i think is acceptable for teens to date, kiss, whatever, second of all i thought i would be mature enough to handle that kind of thing.
I'm not.
I never assumed that when i turn 15 i automatically get a partner but- uh it's just such a weird concept. Aside the fact that I'm litterally mentally not ready to BE in a relationship because i have mental and emotional problems to figure out and fix first but i don't think i WANT to be in a relationship. It's too much, and i also am not able to even imagine falling in love with someone and having them liking me back, the chances are one in a billion!
Most of the time love is a fun concept, something that i maybe would want to experience, feel like everyone else and just be happy with my second half, but there are also times when i just want to stay with my parents and love them and them only, not caring about romance and these other disgusting stuff that people my age apparently like(??)
I just don't know. Everytime I try to figure it out i tell myself that I'm just too young and i will find my answer later in life, but is that really possible? I just want to know and live with full knowledge that i am looking for a partner or not.
Submitted April 15, 2023
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kusuokisser · 6 months
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oomf reblogged a bunch of aro stuff and in honor of pride hour (i made it the fuck up Dont ask me any questions i dont talk to paparazzi) i want to talk about MYYY experience being arospec because it is Isolating and even if this reaches literally no one id rather at least have tried to share my feelings. Spreading love! 💝
growing up i very quickly realized that i wasnt getting crushes like the other kids were. as early as second grade i started trying to force myself to like the boys in my class. id, like, look around the classroom at the start of every new school year and look for the next boy to have a "crush" on. It sounds kind of funny looking back but like i remember how desperate i felt doing it. i remember one year i genuinely hated every boy in my class with a burning passion and, if nothing else, i remember the feeling of being wrong. i, a 4th (maybe 3rd?) grader, felt isolated and gross because i couldnt force a crush for a year.
i had known none of the other ones were really crushes, but it wasnt the romance i wanted it was the connections. i wanted to be able to join the girls talking about their crushes and i wanted to have a reason to try talking to boys; i wanted to be liked.
in 6th grade i think was the first time i didnt try to force a crush. i dont remember much from that year but i know that i didnt feel good. youd think that, as an arospec, i would have enjoyed the break from faking romance but at that point i didnt understand that my feelings werent quite real. i knew they werent like everyone elses, but i really wanted them to be even if it meant lying a bit to myself on the way. i felt wrong and weird.
in seventh grade that was when covid hit and everyone was quarentined, and also that is the year that holds my worlds most obvious example of my aromanticism ever. genuinely think back to this and go "how didnt i figure it out sooner"
i convinced myself i had a crush on my at-the-time best friend. there was no crush by the way, i judt knew i liked him more than all my other friends and to my socially deprived brain that meant it had to be romantic right? well he didnt like me back and literally i went, watched like two YouTube videos on something or other, and was over it. because the feelings were never genuine. it was never love it was a desire to be close with someone
8th grade was the first time i actually fell in love. by then i had figured out im a lesbian, and i met this girl named Jane. She was literally everything you could want in a girl and i fell HARRDDDDDDD i was so in love dont even. but I found that my capacity to love her fluxuated. the love was always there, but some days it was more platonic than anything. sometimes thr platonic periods would stretch for weeks. sometimes it would switch between platonic and romantic multiple times a day. it confused me and honestly? it scared me a lot. i distanced myself from her and eventually we broke up (for seperate reasons but this def contributed)
that really messed with me because now i was left with two understandings: i can definitely experience romantic attraction, and the romantic attraction can change at the drop of a hat.
after a lott of time and research i finally realized and accepted that im aromanticflux (will go into detail if necessary) and you know what? it didn't make me feel better. if anything it made me feel worse; i felt like such an asshole for getting in a relationship if it was always going to end.
now i am. Still coming to terms with my identity but i am learning to love and be kind to myself. the point of this whole thing is. youre never alone. there are eight billion people on earth, at least one of them is going through the exact same thing as you right now. you are not any less of a person because of your attraction or lack thereof
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ljf613 · 2 years
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On Ships With Age Gaps
I've thought about writing a post like this for a long time, but I always decided against it because I don't feel the need to justify anything I say (or do, or enjoy, or ship, or write) to the good people of tumblr.
However, I do think that there are some people on here who, rather than being actively cruel or hateful towards certain shippers/writers, are just really confused or grossed out and don't understand why we people like these things and don't want to just assume that we're all degenerate freaks, and that maybe they might benefit from learning my story.
(Note that this is just my story. Other people may or may not have their own stories, which may or may not resemble mine-- the point is that these stories exist, and that just because you don't understand doesn't mean there isn't a reason.)
I was in middle school when I first realized that I had a (very normal) problem: I was attracted to guys, but boys my age were obnoxious. (Every heterosexual female reading this is nodding their head in sympathy.) Many of them made rude jokes, and said nasty things, and most of them were just generally immature and irresponsible and not-at-all crush-worthy.
Adult guys, on the other hand, were nice and sweet and smart and mature (*insert laughter here*). They knew how to be responsible, and how to treat girls right and take care of the people who mattered to them. They were ready to get married and settle down in a house with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. (You get the idea. Give me a break, I was, like, eleven or twelve and most of the men in my life really were great guys in happy and stable marriages.)
So, like many other girls my age, I fantasized about attractive twenty-something-year-olds falling madly in love with me. (I can not hammer this home enough: this is perfectly normal behavior.)
But at the same time, I knew that this sort of relationship was obviously something I was not in any way ready for, and, in any case, I didn't actually know very many attractive single guys in this age range. (Because why would I?)
So, instead, like any normal kid, I gravitated toward stories I could live vicariously through. Stories about about girls my own age (or maybe a little older) who fell for guys who loved them back. Guys who were willing to wait for them. Or at the very least guys who treated them like equals, and, once they were old enough, might start seeing them in more of a romantic light.
The very first relationship like this that I remember falling for was Sesshomaru and Rin from Inuyasha.
(Actually, my first real adult/minor ship was probably Lux and Eric from Life Unexpected, but after that dumpster-fire of an ending, I didn't want to think about anything related to that show ever again.) (Although it did introduce me to One Tree Hill, which is still one of my favorite shows of all time, so I guess it did something right.) (And Nathan and Haley probably also fit the bill-- Nathan wasn't an adult, but he was mature and responsible and ready to settle down. TV really should bring back teen marriage plotlines instead of endless cycles of love triangles.)
I discovered anime in seventh grade, and Inuyasha was my second real anime. (In case you're wondering, Fairy Tail was my first.) I quickly fell in love with Rin (who was an example of what would become one of my favorite character archetypes), and her relationship with Sesshomaru fascinated me.
Here you had this demon who hated humans, only to be bewildered when one try to help him, leading him to use a part of his heritage that he'd been rejecting until now in order to save her. And then she just. Follows him. And he lets her? And he just spends the entire series treating her like an equal and letting her do literally whatever she wants?
(To those who read them as father and daughter: uh, if I saw a parent with this sort of laissez-faire approach to child-raising, I would be very concerned. He treats her like a traveling companion and constantly defers to her wishes. She gets kidnapped and he only comes to rescue her when he's sure that's what she wants? Very parental of him.)
And then when he's finally about to reach the goal he's been working towards this entire time, he gives it up the moment Rin gets hurt. ("Nothing was worth losing her?" ICONIQUE, nobody is doing it like him!) And then in the final battle, he fights alongside the same people he was trying to kill when we first met him. All because Rin has taught him that humans have worth, that weakness isn't a sin, that there are more important things than strength and hatred? Are you kidding me?
I've already gone into my love for this ship here, so I'm not going to repeat the whole thing, but I will say that I loved what we saw of them in the finale-- the two of them separated, so that Rin could grow up and decide what she wanted out of their relationship. Because he was willing to wait for whatever choice she decided to make.
This was a game changer for me. It was exactly what I hadn't realized I was looking for. I needed more. What followed was a love for various other wholesome bonds between protective/traumized men and the girls who taught them about love.
Naofumi and Raphtalia of Rising of the Shield Hero (talk about clueless guys-- he seriously managed to convince himself that he only saw her as daughter because he had no other frame of reference and had been so traumatized by the last girl he liked), Kyoko and Katsuya (dude was more than willing to wait for her and only stepped in when she needed him to be there for her? Find me another man this swoon-worthy) and Kureno and Arisa of Fruits Basket (I normally don't buy love-at-first-sight, but for these two cuties I'll suspend my disbelief), Zack and Rachel of Angels of Death (the age gap is the least problematic thing here), Mamoru and Haruka of Until Death Do Us Part (the man literally laughed the idea of their relationship off until he couldn't anymore. And then, again, he let her go and waited until she was ready), Satoru and Airi of Erased (the soulmatism!), Accelerator and Last Order of A Certain Magical Index (alright, fine, I've never been able to decide if I prefer these two to stay purely platonic or eventually fall in love, but whatever they have I adored), and many, many others.
But the thing here is that none of these relationships are the main focus of their respective series. I wasn't going out and actively looking for these ships, but when they showed up in the stories I loved I would certainly enjoy them. (Love stories were cute and all, but magic and adventure were way more interesting to middle-school me.)
It was only when I was in high school and I started getting more into romantic stories that began actively seeking out the sort of thing I was looking for. Seiji and Shiharu of Love So Life are still near and dear to my heart (my guy buys her a ring, tells her he'll never want anyone else, refuses to let her reciprocate, and doesn't go near her for almost six years to make sure that she doesn't choose him until she's really ready. KING), Mao and Hiro of House of the Sun will never stop being adorable (Taamo's drawing style is so stinkin' cute), The Start of Niina is as heartbreakingly lovely as ever (the gift and trauma of reincarnation!), and Faster Than a Kiss is a gem (another great guy who does his best to take care of the girl he loves but won't lay a hand on her until she's ready).
And it wasn't just age gap stories. Because the age gap wasn't the real point-- the point was mature guys who were ready to commit and smart girls who knew a good thing when they saw it. Which is why I also devoured stories about teens getting married (please bring these back, western media) and arranged marriages ("we may not have wanted this but we are going to make it work"). The World is Still Beautiful remains one of my favorite fantasy-romances, Absolute Peace Strategy is hilarious, I really need to reread Prince of Silk and Thorn, Dawn of the Arcana is fantastic, Taisho Maiden Fairytale is super-cute, etc. etc. (This is not an exhaustive list, btw-- feel free to DM me or drop an ask if you're looking for more in any of these genres.)
Once I discovered fandom, fanon, and shipping culture, it was a given that my love for these dynamics would cross over into media where such things weren't canon.
(And, for the nth time, all of this was perfectly normal and understandable behavior for a girl my age.)
These were stories and tropes I adored. But they were stories. Fiction. They were not reality. And even at the very earliest stages of this interest, I understood the difference.
When I was in seventh or eighth grade, there was an incident involving one of my female classmates and a twenty-something-year-old male student-teacher. I was not directly involved (I barely knew the girl) and I wasn't exactly asking for details (I've always prefered to stay out of real-world drama if I can), but middle school girls are loud and I have good ears, so I was pretty sure I got the gist. (Years later, I spoke with one of the other teachers who'd been involved with handling the aftermath, and she confirmed and added some more context.)
To simplify, the teacher in question had somehow gotten a hold of the girl's phone number and had been sending her texts that were not appropriate for a grown man to be sending to a thirteen year old girl. This made her highly uncomfortable, but she was too scared to say anything-- it wasn't as though there was anything explicit or overtly sexual (he told her how pretty she was, and how much he looked forward to seeing her every day, and I do not know or want to know what else)-- and she didn't want to look like she was make a big deal out of nothing. But when her friends found out, they immediately said "this is not okay," and marched her to the nearest female teacher to confess the whole thing. (Good for them!)
Again, I was not directly involved. I did not discuss the subject with any of my classmates, I was obviously not present when the school staff spoke with the guy, and I have no idea what exactly the school policy was for this sort of thing. All I saw from my end was a crying girl being comforted by her friends as they dragged her off, and within the next day or two we were told that this teacher would be ending his postion early (he'd been supposed to leave soon, regardless, as he was only a temp). I never saw him again.
And there was never a question in my mind that this man's behavior was deplorable, that this story should never have happened, and that this girl was a victim of a horrible injustice.
(I have a vivid recollection of being outraged when another teacher-- who happened to be related to him (probably how he'd gotten the job, I don't remember ever our school having had a student-teacher before or after)-- told us he was being forced to leave earlier than planned like we were supposed to be sad about it, and then insisted we make a good-bye card for him (while making snide comments under her breath about how some people needed to learn to keep their mouths shut). (I honestly don't remember whether or not I helped decorate the stupid thing, or what the girl did while this was happening.) I was not old enough or mature enough to fully realize that what this other teacher did was also hideously inappropriate and ought to have been reported as well, but I did know that it was nasty and underhanded and I didn't like it. (This was not the only time when this teacher behaved obnoxiously or passive-aggressively insulted a student for bringing a complaint to the school staff or doing something else she disliked (I was on the receiving end at least once or twice, but that's another story), and she did not return the next year. Good riddance.))
In any case, despite the fact that age gap stories (and even the occasional teacher-student romance) were something I liked seeing in media, I recognized the clear distinction between fiction and reality, and what was right and wrong. I didn't even need to think about it. Even at thirteen, when I didn't fully understand what was and wasn't appropriate behavior for a teacher, this was something I understood perfectly.
And to anyone reading this and saying, "alright, fine, so you liked age gap relationships as a kid because they let you vicariously live out your perfectly ordinary teenage fantasies, but you're not fifteen anymore. Isn't it time you moved on?":
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Y'all still read/watch the same stories you enjoyed as children-- that's why you're in these fandoms to begin with. If you can understand still loving those things as adults, it shouldn't be much of a leap to grasp me liking the same sort of fictional relationship dynamics I did in high school.
(Which isn't to say those are the only kind of ships I like. They never were. But I'll probably always have a soft spot for them.)
TL;DR: I initially got into age gap ships because they let preteen me fantasize about a hot older guy sweeping me off my feet. No, this did not prevent me from recognizing predatory behavior from real adults. No, I'm not letting go of the things I liked as a kid just because they make you uncomfortable.
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bestgilmoregirlseps · 5 months
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𝘐𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑔
Hi! My name is Emilie and I'm a grade twelve student whose favourite past-time is to binge-watch and analyze tv shows. I really enjoy the aspect of exploring different topics and themes through the multitude of film genres as well as the entertainment it provides. Although I’ve watched several shows, there are only a select few that I believe have impacted my life or that I still find myself interested in. One of them is none other than the iconic dramedy Gilmore Girls. This early 2000s show starring Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel has become a fall classic over the years as it symbolizes the changes in weather. The series is set in Stars Hollow, Connecticut and its townspeople are constantly gearing up for a festival of some kind, most of them taking place during the colder seasons. The fashion, music and scenery present in Gilmore Girls are often associated with the coziness of fall and winter and I personally think it’s the  best time to rewatch it. This blog will be all about reviewing and analyzing my top ten favourite episodes and will  include many spoilers. Therefore, if any of you readers have yet to watch the show, I strongly suggest you do so before reading in order to fully comprehend what I’ll be discussing. The first episode that I’ll be reviewing is entitled “Kiss and Tell” and is the seventh episode of the first season (s1 ep7)!! 
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In this episode, the townspeople of Stars Hollow are decorating for thanksgiving and Luke, the owner of the town’s diner, refuses to put up any decorations despite the town selectman's efforts. Taylor Doose is a stickler for the rules and traditions of the town and argues with anyone who goes against them. He is by far one of the most obnoxious characters in the show as he is always holding meetings over ridiculous issues and scolding those who don’t meet the town-spirit standards. After school, Rory, the main character, goes to Doose’s Market to see the boy she has a crush on. Dean, the grocery store worker, kisses her for the first time while getting her a drink and she is so taken aback that all she can say is “thank you”. Rory runs out of the store without paying for her things and goes straight to her best friend’s house, Layne. She tells her all about the kiss and Layne’s very religious mother overhears the entire conversation. Later, when Rory’s mother Lorelai goes to Kim’s Antiques (Layne’s mother’s business), she finds out about this big milestone in her daughter’s life and feels upset that Rory didn’t tell her right away. Rory, on the other hand, is having a great time gossiping about it with Layne while they’re dressed up as pilgrims for the Cornucopia Can Drive. Lorelai and Luke go to Doose’s Market to see Dean and Lorelai tells him she wished her daughter felt comfortable enough to talk about her love life with her. When Rory comes back home, Lorelai immediately asks about the kiss and they argue over the way she heard about it. The two go to Doose’s once again to grab some snacks for a movie night and while Rory goes to the video store, Lorelai invites him to come over. Rory gets mad at her mother for embarrassing her by accidentally planning their first date for them. She starts freaking out about watching a movie with Dean, stressing about the way she looks and the way she’ll act around him. Although she is quite nervous, the movie night goes well and Dean kisses Rory again at the end of the night. Lorelai gives him a lecture about how loved Rory is by everyone in Stars Hollow and that he shouldn’t dare hurt her. The episode ends with Lorelai and Rory gossiping like she did with Layne about how perfect Rory’s first kiss was.
This episode is one of my favourites because of how nostalgic it is and how it showcases the close mother-daughter relationship Rory and Lorelai have at the beginning of the show. For context, Lorelai fell pregnant with her daughter when she was only sixteen and since her birth, they've had more of a best friend dynamic than anything. However, Rory gets scared when she has her first kiss and is unsure of how her mother will react considering what happened to Lorelai and her mother when she had a baby. I thought this episode perfectly displayed how hard it can be to parent your child the relationship doesn't often involve strict boundaries or rules. Lorelai felt betrayed that she hadn't been the first one to hear about Rory's first kiss although I think it was completely normal for her to keep it to herself. Being a teenage girl comes with a multitude of expectations and Rory was simply processing a major event in her life.
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mirrorballannie · 7 months
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"i care more to be loved. i want to be loved"
dear reader,
the first time i heard jo march say this i had to give myself time to contemplate whether i feel the same or not.
being able to experience romantic inclinations from playful crushes in the first and second grades, to puppy loves in the sixth, seventh, and eighth grades, and to being in my first serious relationship during ninth and tenth grade completely skewed my expectations on adult relationships.
when my first boyfriend broke up with me the summer before eleventh grade i was very much ecstatic to be single. don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad first relationship. his intentions were genuine and he did truly love me. for that, i will always appreciate him and remember him fondly. i would be lying if i said i never enjoyed being loved by him because i did. i did love feeling important to someone in a romantic way. but seriously, what is a teenage romance story without the two immature leads, right?
i was happy to be single again because i felt like i was missing out on my independence during such formative years of my life. i wanted to learn about who i was without being obligated or tied down to another person. from time to time i would ask myself if i truly did love him but can never arrive to anything conclusive. my childhood best friend, hannah, would reassure me by saying there are different types of loves that will come into someone's life and that this love is the typical immature type of love that would just never withstand the test of time. she would reassure me that i would one day find that type of love that is exactly right for me.
so then i went on with my life making friends with like-minded people, enriching the friendships and connections i already have, and truly improving my understanding of myself (one of those realizations is that i am bisexual and am very much attracted to girls as well as guys). romantic relationships were at the bottom of my priority list.
then college came and i had a crush on this guy, owen. we were kind of friends. friends in a way that can hangout in a bigger circle but not really very close type of friends. i never truly acknowledged or gave any thought about these feelings until our last year of college (also because my feelings were never given any room to flourish because of the stupid pandemic that deprived us of so many human experiences for too long). any way, long story short, owen is the first person i thought about actually being romantic with since my last boyfriend. i saw the potential that us being together could have. not that i didn't try getting to know other people but i just realized that casual dating and online dating are not for me, personally.
so, with all that said, i admitted my feelings and got rejected. and i accepted it. i accepted his offer of friendship and that was supposed to be that. however, our mutual friends somehow couldn't just let it go and would continue to tease us. for months and months any little interaction owen and i would have would be reduced to us flirting so we minimized any chances of us interacting at all. we were somewhat successful, except for that one time our friends and and us were getting drinks and we got dared to make out in a room full of people. i know, big mistake. it never got acknowledged by me or him ever again. but our friends? oh they were relentless.
my college best friend, thea as well as hannah are witnesses to every frustrations i have ever felt regarding the situation. not just regarding our relentless, teasing friends, but my frustrations over myself for not being in control of my feelings and for looking like i kept chasing after him even after being rejected.
very recently however, ryan, one of owen's best friends, and i had a heart-to-heart and i gathered up my courage to ask him if they hated me and ever thought of me as a boy-crazy girl who could never take a hint. he very prettily laid out that no, they never thought any of that and proceeded his perfumed monologue by saying that owen likes being my friend and that our personalities match and that he likes my presence and all that. he also kept reassuring me that out of their circle of friends, owen has the biggest heart. it was all very flattering to say the least.
few days later after that i found out or it was confirmed by a mutual friend of ours that owen had liked thea and was asking around if she was single again the few months thea and her girlfriend kayla were broken up (they've been back together again quite a while now).
now i'm here writing all of these down to say how confused i am about two things. first, i do not at all understand how some of our mutual friends would continue to tease us together if they had known for a long time that owen liked thea. and why did ryan have to explain to me how owen and i's personalities match and that he likes my presence? i don't want to think of them as malicious as that is not how i knew them to be. and i also don't think they are dense and unaware that they have somehow raised my expectations due to their incessant teasing. (also, as i have said earlier, i have frustrations about not being in control of my feelings and that i should be in control of it no matter what anyone else say or how they might affect it).
secondly, it just hit me that people can just say one of the most sweet and wonderful things you would ever hear about yourself and still, they wouldn't want you romantically. some people can think that your personalities gel together or that they like the presence you bring in their life, but still, they. don't want. you. and i can't, for the life of me, reconcile that thought. i have come to resent what ryan said because now, it doesn't make me feel good about myself. for the first time EVER in my life, i have asked myself, "am i not enough?" i have so much love i want to give (romantically) and nobody wants to accept it from me.
to bring it back to what jo march said, no, i don't care more about being loved. i find that what was lacking from me from my first relationship was that i never gave it my all. i never showed my first boyfriend the extent or the capacity of how much i can love. and now that i am able and willing to show that extent, nobody would wants to receive it.
i wonder if any one would.
yours truly, mirrorball annie
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ridleyytheriddler · 7 months
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im suuuper bored rn and in a mood to write so! rant! yay!
first thing i wanted to rant about - my sexual orientation (:
im ace, period. i know that for a fact. at least I'm somewhere on the spectrum, maybe demisexual? but I'm not sure, I'm not really diving into microlabels.
romantic orientation is an ENTIRELY different story...
had a crush on a boy in 3rd/4th grade, back when (i thought) i was a cishet girl. liked him until like 5th grade when my feelings sort of faded away. now, i was virtual schooled through 5th and 6th so i didn't really like anyone in sixth grade but i spent a lot of time exploring queerness in general- like my nonbinary awakening happened sometime in like January/February of 2022 (though i did first label myself as a demigirl, it still falls under the enby umbrella).
i entered seventh grade as a closeted aroace enby and went through about 3/4 of the year without any major crushes (i had a platonic interest in a boy that i misinterpreted as a crush). i didn't really label my romantic attraction because i didn't need to.
however, as the end of the school year approached, i started feeling uncomfortable. i wanted to know who i was, and the only valid part of my identity had been my asexuality, since i knew that i liked a boy in the past so how could i be aro? i was drowning in a whirlpool of invalidation and not feeling queer enough.
so, i go to the first camp of the year, a writing camp, filled with TONS of queer people. i loved it there, but seeing so many people around me, sure of their identities, made me die more inside.
sooo, a couple days after i was accused of flirting with my friend (who happened to be a boy), i "discovered" i liked a girl. she was pretty, she was smart, she was blonde, she was sporty. i texted her a lot (even after camp was over). i put hearts around her contact name. but "liking" her didn't feel thrilling and it didn't feel happy. to put it simply, it felt like a fucking punishment. talking to her made me feel like i wasn't enough.
so after going through about a month of emotional turmoil and dying inside and bragging to my friends about how i liked a girl, i headed to my first sleepaway camp of the summer, a church camp, ironically enough. and THERE. THERE i fell. not in love, but probably the realest crush i'd had. there weren't really butterflies, so to speak, but if you looked at a picture with the two of us in it, you would see me gazing at her (lets call her M) with literal heart eyes. we'd started quietly chatting while our mutual friends were off doing other stuff, and ended up bonding with each other despite how the only thing we shared was our introverted-ness. and I'm not even that introverted. we're polar opposites. we still text each other almost every day, and i had hopes she liked me back, aaaaaaaaand she doesn't but. here comes part two of my rant.
my crush doesn't like me.
and i don't even feel the tiniest bit sad about it.
this is probably the most confused i've ever been. i know i like her. maybe it's because her "rejection" was so soft it didn't even feel like one. i don't know. it's complicated, but my best friend had been cheering me on to tell her, so i did. and i was honestly divided as to whether she liked me or not- at times she acted like she did but other times she didn't. honestly, i think I'm just hopeful that she likes me
anyway thats not the point-
so. after writing this THERAPUTIC post, i have discovered that:
i am aroace and proud 🧡💛🤍🩵💙
im nonbinary (and proud, but I've known that for a while)
I'm confused
but I'm 100% queer. whether I'm lesbian or straight or bi or something, i am queer! and I'm tired of feeling invalidated by being compared to the people out there who are out and proud with all their labels. i don't need to be exactly like them to be queer and be myself.
to put it poetically, "our friendship is worth more than being in any relationship." I'm going to write a poem about that now. good night yall <3 or even good morning/afternoon.
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zzzzeloisa · 10 months
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MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY >_<
Hello! I am Ma. You can call me Francine Eloisa L. Evangelista, but most of my close friends refer to me as "Hopya"^_^. People that I don't know well or with whom I don't feel at ease calling me "Hopya" bother me. The same is true for Eloisa; I only like it when one person calls me that. On May 17, 2005, in Pag-asa, Imus City, Cavite, I was born. Last May 17, I turned 18!
My parents and I didn't actually grow up together. Since then, it has just been me and my Kuya. Together with our cousins, our grandparents essentially raised the two of us. Of the eight cousins, I am the fifth. Before my younger cousins arrived, I spent a long time being the youngest.
Being the youngest girl relative for a considerable amount of time makes growing up with cousins difficult. My elder cousins, who are all boys, constantly tease or fight me. The advantage of being the youngest cousin, though, is that when my peers mistreat me, I always take it out on my grandparents, particularly my grandfather.
My brother and I had a close bond when we were kids. As we grew older and our relationship changed, we frequently disagreed. My kuya and I are currently attempting to repair our relationship because our parents are no longer married and we now reside with our mother. I'm happy that my brother and I are trying to repair our connection, but I'm not used to talking to him without yelling at him.
I've always wanted to be a doctor ever since I was a little kid. I want to be a doctor because I like my aunt, a qualified medical expert, who I look up to. I recall witnessing her spend restless hours studying for forthcoming exams even when she was an intern and still in medical school. Because of this, even if being a doctor is a difficult route, I'm even more inspired to follow in her footsteps and accomplish the same. Thanks to her, I realized that I could succeed. If we want to be successful on the path we've chosen, we must be persistent and patient with the process. Regardless of how difficult something may be, we must still try it in order to succeed
Numerous experiences and changes are a part of growing up, not just for the physical body but also for the mind and emotions. Since I was attracted to both guys and females in the sixth grade while I was in elementary school, I was unsure of who I was. I was lost up to the seventh grade. I didn't know I was bisexual until I was in eighth school, but I had assumed it was normal to have crushes on girls.
Only me, my ate, and two of my kuya relatives are bisexual. If I'm honest with my parents about it, I'm afraid of what they'll say. In a few months or years, I might be ready to tell them the truth about who I am.
It was challenging to figure out who I was during those years. I'm fortunate to have individuals who respect and approve of who I am. especially my two closest friends, who I can reach with a phone call. They are never far away by phone, so I can always invite them out to eat or hang out so we can talk and make fun of our life choices. From the seventh grade until now, when we are in the 12th grade and preparing for college, we have been each other's best friends, so I have always considered of them as my second family or my core group of friends.
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teenageread · 1 year
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Review: Killer
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Synopsis:
In picture-perfect Rosewood, Pennsylvania, ash-blond highlights gleam in the winter sun and frozen lakes sparkle like Swarovski crystals. But pictures often lie— and so do Rosewood's four prettiest girls.
Hanna, Aria, Spencer, and Emily have been lying ever since they became friends with beautiful Alison DiLaurentis. Ali made them do terrible things—things they had to keep secret for years. And even though Ali was killed at the end of seventh grade, their bad-girl ways didn't die with her.
Hanna's on a mission to corrupt Rosewood's youth, starting with a very attractive sophomore. Aria's snooping into her boyfriend's past. Spencer's stealing— from her family. And pure little Emily's abstaining from abstinence.
The girls should be careful, though. They thought they were safe when Ali's killer was arrested and A's true identity was finally revealed. But now there's a new A in town turning up the heat. And this time Rosewood is going to burn
Plot:
With a missing body, the police and Rosewood are against the girls, as they become real pretty little liars in the media's eyes. Yet, all of their work to find Ali's killer, finding out who A is, figuring out where Ian's body went can wait because there are more important things to think about. Like how we are two relationships up and two relationships down. Smitten with Isaac, Emily is in complete love with her boyfriend, who accepts her lesbian past and loves her back. The only problem is that Isaac's mother hates her; for either her past or being with her son, it is hard to get into Mom's good books when banging her son in her house. Spencer's relationship is also on the up as her all-time rival becomes the closest thing to her yet. Spencer is on the hunt for one more person to make her life perfect: her mother, her actual birth mother, because it is definitely not Mrs. Hastings. Hanna's relationship with Lucas is out, but her rivalry with Kate is entirely in, and that involves choosing any boy Kate wanted first. Hanna is off to seduce a boy that would hump a tree: Mike Montgomery. Then there is Aria, who decides to pursue her childhood crush and needs to find the approval of older men, with Jason DiLaurentis, Alison's not-so-stable older brother. With all the girls invited to Radley Hotel opening, the new place to be in Rosewood, the old mental hospital from trouble teens turned boutique hotel, the girls become one step closer as they discover some big DiLaurentis family secrets and an addition to the group, or, an old addition coming back.
Thoughts:
And Sara Shepard keeps going! Onto book six in the series, the main event is the Randle Hotel open party, with the girl in trouble for this event being Spencer. Shepard takes us on another wild tale of our favorite liars through her fast pace, easy-to-follow writing. They spin themselves deeper into a web of lies and betrayals. Similar to ending the last book with Ian's body, Shepherds drops another bomb at the end of this one that makes you desperately want the next one and confirms with yourself that you are addicted to this guilty pleasure. Spencer's families are still the most hated character, and I do not think they will ever go down and are probably the worst fictional parents I have ever read across my entire library. They are just awful, like is-it-illegal-to-be-this-mean horrible to your child? I know there are worse parents; after all, Spencer has a ton of money, goes to private school, has the opportunity to afford the top university anywhere in the world. Still, Spencer will also have a lot of mental trauma from her parents and now her birth mom. The latter, unfortunately, is not as lovely as Spencer wanted her to be. This puts Spencer on the list of worst characters for this installment of the series, not because she did horrible things but because she was just really dumb for the majority of the book. Good characters? I guess Emily, as all she did was sleep with her boyfriend, which made his mom hate her, which is not the worst crime in the world. Hanna and Kate are still going at it, which is always a hilarious read because it's hard to see if Kate is nice-nice or a fake-nice and secretly wants to take down Hanna as Hanna thinks she is. The verdict is out, and I am excited to see what Shepard does with her Kate character. Then there is Aria, off trying to win Jason's affection by having bizarre interactions with him. Honestly, there were so many red flags after her first date I do not even know how that girl could still see. Overall, Shepard always adds that one thing in the end that makes you want to keep reading. You have to applaud her on how she makes you invested in this series, as I am definitely hooked and cannot wait to see what happens next.
A Suspects:
The concept of the novel is our four girls trying to find out who A is, thus I thought it would be fun to keep a suspect list to see how many people Shepard writes for the girls to at one point suspect and by whom. So here is the list for book #5:
Ian by Aria
Jenna by Aria
Body Count
As Shepard keeps killing people off, I think it would be a good idea to keep track of who died, but without spoiling the ending of the current book, as her habit is killing them off with two chapters to go. So here is the list of the dead for the previous book #5:
Ian, Mona, Toby and Ali  
Read more reviews: Goodreads
Buy the book: Amazon
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rollingforwerd · 2 years
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Here is a fun filled timeline of serious relationships:
My first serious ish boyfriend was Evan Self. I say serious ish because it started in middle school . Probably seventh grade to my freshman year. He had one biological brother and his family adopted two troubled other brothers while I was still with him. We did so much together his family became a big part of me. His dad eventually lost his life when a police car hit his motorcycle. Leaving Samye, his wife, his two biological children and the now four they had adopted. At this time I reconnected with the family since they had been such a large part of my life at one point. They’ve all moved to Texas but they will always be family to me.
Then came Richard - I dated him for a couple weeks. We rode the same bus. He would wait for me in the hallway outside biology class. He originally dumped me for not giving him a blow job.
I had a few unserious relationships here and there and then I started dating Carl. He was a long haired long nailed strange dude. I spent lots of time at his house. He had a single mom raising three boys;Carl, Chris, and Colin oh yeah her name was Connie. Her husband Donald was a piece of work. He was awful. Hed tell me all the time that I didn’t deserve to be with his prized child, who obviously shared his delusions of granger. He lived in this apartment alone. Stole cable from his neighbors, had no car and his elderly mother paid for said apartment. He had an obsession with hentai…. Badly . But most of all with “inflated” ones meaning large breasts and bellies so he ended up with a pregnancy fetish. He would make me push out my diaphragm to make it look like I was and he’d creepily kiss it and yeah anyways I digress ( one reason why I thought I didn’t want children) his mom was out one day and we were listening to the rain and this is the day he violated me. I pleaded and begged and cried no but he didn’t stop. My brain repressed this until years later I was watching a movie where someone else had that happen to them and it all came flooding back. There was one time he had a hole in the butt of his pants and I poked it and he round house kicked me into the wall. I didn’t listen to my parents, either they kept helping me with tuition or I could move in with him- so I moved in with him and worked out payments for my tuition. One night I was sleeping and he had been stocking shelves overnight and he came home on his lunch break and instead of watching tv in the living room he watched it in the bedroom. I turned over to ask him to turn it down and he punched me. It took me a long time to leave and when I told him finally I was he pulled a knife on me. I was so scared and locked myself in the bathroom. My mom rented a uhaul and we moved all my stuff out.
It took me awhile to compose myself after that , if My dad couldn’t love me how could anyone else love me, like I deserved this treatment.
Then I reconnected with a friend from high school that I had a crush on at the time he sat in front of me in math class. We hit it off. We dated for almost 4 years. Shared an apartment, memories, a terrible kitten. He joined the air force . I supported him making the decision, I was there for his mom when she was sad by it. We drove to see his basic graduation . I made signs for his run. I flew to see his AIT graduation, I thought everything was fine. Gave him a gift for his birthday and days later he said it just felt like we were friends. I’m sorry but last time I checked you’d want to be with your best friend forever. We had been planning a destination wedding a private ceremony. And then it all blew up in my face . He cheated on me with a girl he had met in the air force and later they got married, needless to say she eventually cheated on him and then they divorced. You know, karma shit. But when I look back I’m thankful for this relationship, he was with me though a lot… my moms breast cancer the first round of my dads cancer the freak death of my grandpa and I was as much help as I could be when his father took his own life.
So yes this is the point I lived off of wine for a couple weeks. I went to the open house at culinary school and at that point it was great until we found out the price. I went back into a stupor it’s was ridiculous. I once again felt defeated. I couldn’t be with someone I wanted to be with I couldn’t do what I wanted . My mom made me promise I’d see it through and agreed eventually to co sign my loan. Also she hated seeing me so lonely so she signed me up for match.com . That was fun…. At the same time as trying to date these other guys I reconnected with Richard but eventually told him I couldn’t because I had met a guy. Then I dated Ryan. I had so many insecurities at this point. I would go through his phone when he was in the shower, he’d tell his friends he wasn’t with me. He was a corrections officer . The only time he didn’t treat me badly was when we’d go to the gym together. We had some weird relationship thing but not for about 8 months. He eventually moved back to Seattle where he was from. He’d call and when he’s friends would ask who was on the phone he’d make up someone. So I cut that tie.
Then I decided to see Richard again. He kept loosing jobs . He got fired from being a foreman at a landscaping job, he got fired from bluesteaking . He decided to join the army because that’s what his bestie was doing. And one day he called me and said hey we should get married. And I said sure. And the rest kind of goes from there.
I left finally, after the mental and physical abuse to me and to my child. And then I met Donald . He was the weird creepy rebound. Toxic. A high functioning alcoholic. Also mentally abusive. He didn’t want kids, he’d get jealous of the time spent with my own child, he’d get mad if I saw friends instead of him. It also took me awhile to figure all this out how awful he was. He was a jeweler so obvious he’d give me things to wear from his personal collection. Fancy watches and things…. And he’d make me take pictures to prove to him I was wearing them.
After that I joined Facebook dating for the first time. There I met some interesting people, some foe some friendly … eventually I would meet Jim. He was a big guy in every way. Sweet and empathetic. He lost the custody of his child because he had kicked these people out of his house and they decided to get back at him by stealing his moms identity and and telling the police he jacked off in front of his son. That’s who went to California with us last year . It was a weird whirlwind of emotions. He eventually became closed off and kept standing me up and then he told me about buying a gun to end his own life and his dad found him and made him go to Florida. Months later I finally rejoined Facebook dating because I was mainly looking to talk to someone. Other than work I had no one to talk to , I felt so alone. And here we are, I met you .
Bryan is thee most kind hearted, strong, loving, understanding person I’ve ever met. And for the first time I realize this must be what love actually should feel like. He loves me for everything the faults and all, and I his.
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wisemushroomeyes · 3 years
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Ugh... I just saw that my former school-nemesis is on „princess Charming“ and I think I have a sexuality crisis rn even though I‘m usually really grounded with that :(
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blueroses789 · 2 years
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I wish I could be stronger
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Warnings: 
Mental health issues
Smut 
Angst
Domestic violence
next chapter: Jealousy 
Chapter 1/?
When it happened: Chapter One  
You weren't sure when it happened. But at some point between the summer of seventh and eighth grade you realized that your feelings for the boy next door were far from platonic. So on the first day of grade eight you prepared your confession. You would have done it earlier, but Eren had gone away with his parents for the summer. He would call you almost every day to tell you about Bermuda (his parents were rich so they could afford shit like this). You had hoped that this meant he might like you. But all those dreams were crushed when on the first day of school he gave roses to Mikasa, and asked her out. Like everyone else you congratulated the elated couple. Inside, it was a different story. Inside it hurt like hell. Before class started, you went to the bathroom to cry. Every time you saw them walking in the hallway, hand in hand, it hurt. Yet you put on a smile anyway. What did she have that you didn’t? “Probably because you're boring.” A nasty voice said inside of you. Were you boring? Well, you did tend to fade into the background. You were the type of person who liked to help others. It was exhausting to be honest. Not that helping people bothered you. But you didn’t know your breaking point. You once helped Connie finish a project, while neglecting your own. In the end you got a C, Coonie got an A. Of course it wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t forced you to do anything. It was also true that you sort of let people walk all over you. You remembered how in the sixth grade, this girl named Mina Carolina used to push you around. It wasn’t until Eren stepped in did she stop. Then there was Thomas who kept stealing your things in the early days of highschool. Mikasa taught him a lesson for that. Once again you had to rely on someone else to solve your own problems.
With first year University came crushing deadlines, tears and stress. Your cousins had not been exaggerating. You had come to Maria University full of excitement, only to be crushed in the first week. The workload was enormous and you barely had time to yourself. Now in November, you were a walking corpse. You made sure to be quiet since Historia was asleep. It was a good thing you had chosen someone who you knew well, since not all roommates were so trustworthy. Historia had originally meant to share with Ymir. But Ymir got accepted to Liberio University. Since then Ymir had made friends with two brothers named Marco and Porco and a girl called Pieck. Apparently they were starting a band. Ymir was quite good, singing being her strong point. She did punk rock, though most of her songs were dedicated to Historia (Ymir kept saying that she doesn't like sappy romance songs. But we all know she has an entire folder of those sappy love songs for Historia). Their relationship was something out of a novel. Bad boy (or in this case bad girl) and good girl meet, eventually falling in love. You hated to say it, but you were jealous. Not because you had a crush on Historia or Ymir, but because you wished someone loved you the same way. While most of your friends had been in or were in relationships, you had not even had your first kiss. Not that you felt entitled to anyone's affections, but were you really that unattractive? A knock sounded at your door and you opened it. Historia stood on the threshold with a bag of junk food. And behind her were Eren and Mikasa. Your stomach dropped painfully. You saw the happy couple holding hands. Oh..hey. You smiled, masking your pain. Thought we could have a movie night. Historia giggled. You just wanted to study tonight, undisturbed. But you didn’t have the heart to say no to Historia. Cool! You let everyone in. Mikasa whispered and Eren smiled before giving her a kiss on the check. You wanted to go to bed and cry your heart out. But that wasn’t really an option right now. Minutes later you found yourself sitting on the couch with Historia leaning on you. Eren and Mikasa sat on the rug in front of the tv. Eren had his head in Mikasa’s lap. He used to do that with you.
It was warm for a November afternoon. You sat on the hill overlooking the school playground. As usual you had a book propped open. From a young age you loved books, especially romance. It was always thrilling to read a book about the simple country girl whisked away by a handsome boy. Sometimes, you imagined yourself in a story, waiting to be rescued. Books had a deeper meaning to you than most realized. Aged six, your parents got a divorce. Not finding comfort in either of them, you turned to an outlet. The corner of your eye caught a tuft of brown hair. Y/n! Eren flopped down beside you. Hey. Shadis giving you a hard time? You asked, sympathetically. No kidding. Eren yawned. You patted your lap. As usual, he placed his head on it. Thanks. He sighed. You smiled down at him. Content. At the age of thirteen, you couldn’t comprehend that there might be a day you would not be in that place.
It was a bit hard to focus when the couple in front of you were acting so loving. Historia didn’t seem to mind. Maybe it was because it wasn’t that obvious to anyone but you. Maybe it was because you were so fixated on them. Eventually you got up in the middle of the movie. “I’m gonna go to bed early.” You whispered to Historia. “Night.” She replied. You silently slinked out of the living room. Once in the safety of your room, you collapsed onto your bed. “Just hold it together.” You whispered to yourself. Laying on your bed, you reflected on how everything might have been different, had you just had the courage to ask Eren out earlier. Maybe not. Eren had never shown any infatuation for you. Perhaps it was for the best. At some point you noticed that outside was quiet. You could hear Historia talking to someone on the phone, probably Ymir or her sister Frieyda. A moan could be heard next door and you sharply turned your head. Realizing what it was, you turned red with shame, embarrassment and jealousy. This wasn’t the first time it had happened. But it still hurt like hell. Mikasa’s moans could be heard as clear as day. Finally, you let yourself cry.
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randomshyperson · 3 years
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Wanda Maximoff X Reader Hogwarts AU Oneshot
Hey everyone! As WandaVision has me completely in love with Wanda Maximoff, I've managed to write a little Harry Potter-inspired oneshot. 
Ready on AO3 too
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Gif is not mine.
It was an understatement to say that you were late. Running through the now-empty corridors of the castle, you hid behind a pillar when you thought you heard the voice of the Ravenclaw's snitch monitor nearby, but you let out a sigh of relief when you noticed that it was only ghosts chattering away during their wanderings.
You ran toward the transfiguration room, believing that if you were lucky, you would be able to sneak behind the cages to the last empty chair and pretend that you hadn't missed almost half of the first class. You believed that Tony Stark would have been the inconvenience knowing all that he usually is, and that Professor Minerva would not have noticed your absence.
When you finally reached the classroom, you wiped some sweat from your forehead as you leaned against the wall, trying to look out the window. You noticed that almost all the students were writing something in their notebooks, and you tried not to think too much about the importance of that content, ignoring the feeling that it was the kind of thing that would be on the final exams.
You raised your hand toward the doorknob slowly, thinking of the best way to open the door without making too much noise, but then someone turned the lock on the other side, and you almost fell back in surprise as you saw the door open.
- I'm glad you decided to join us, Miss Y/L/N. - said Professor Minerva sternly.
You felt your knees tremble with fear at the intensity of her gaze, and your cheeks heat up when you hear giggles coming from inside the room.
- I'm sorry, professor. I didn't hear the alarm clock. - You said, looking at the floor. Minerva let out an exclamation of disapproval and let you into the room.
- I will debilitate five points of your house, for this, miss. Don't let this happen again. - She said simply, and you entered.
When you sat in the back of the room, in one of the few empty chairs, you did your best to avoid all the curious and judgmental glances your classmates threw at you. Only when Professor Minerva walked back between the tables you looked around the room, your gaze locking on the one person who could completely take your attention away.
Wanda Maximoff was a student of the same year as yours, being part of the Slytherin house. You could say that you had a friendly relationship, because you knew the same people, and especially, you were very good friends with Pietro, her twin brother. You couldn't precisely define the nature of your relationship with Wanda however. In your first two years at Hogwarts you sat together on the train, and during the breaks, almost exclusively due to the company of Steve Rogers, who was a mutual friend and a year older, who used to act like the older brother of several people. When Steve graduated, Pietro became the only bond that justified your socializing with Wanda, but even though they were brothers they didn't hang out all the time, especially after Wanda started dating a Ravenclaw boy named Vis, who you didn't like, and Pietro started dating, well, several people.
The thing was that you never developed a friendship with Wanda, purely because she made you nervous enough that you couldn't engage in conversation with her without being around other people. You were a complete mess around her, notable only to your best friend, Natasha, who was happy to torment you for your longtime crush on the witch. During the third and fourth year, you considered confessing to Wanda how you felt, but like a bucket of cold water, Vis came along. He was a nice guy, and smart, and you were in the same chess club. But all the niceness completely disappeared when you watched Vis invite Wanda to the winter ball. The whole dynamic of your relationship with Wanda has changed since she started dating the young ravenclaw. You tried to suppress your feelings as much as possible, and you were constantly irritated and clumsy in the presence of Vis, who seemed to be always clinging to Wanda, so you started avoiding both of them. If Wanda interpreted that your sudden hostility was because you didn't like her, she didn't speak up, and just began to respect the distance you put between you two.
You were in this almost hostile territory for all of fifth grade and sixth grade, until you invited Jessica Jones to be your date to Professor Stark's Christmas party during seventh grade, which set off a series of interesting events in your life.
First the Starks threw the best Christmas parties, and although Tony Stark was annoying and overbearing, he was your long-time friend, and he was very happy to invite all his friends to his father's party, Professor Howard Stark, who taught Magic Mechanics. You weren't even in Professor Stark's class, but you were happy to hear that he organized a party for everyone who stayed at the castle during the vacation period, and many students skipped their way home just to attend, since Howard's parties were famous in school.
And then you invited your friend Jessica Jones, someone you had a lot of fun with, but wasn't really romantic at all. In fact, you dared her to take you to the party, because she wouldn't admit the open crush she had on her colleague Trish Walker, a very pretty blonde girl who seemed to be the only person who could get around Jessica's temper. You were happy to tease Jessica all night about her crush, until the brunette took too much fruity punch and finally built up the courage to talk to Trish, leaving you laughing at your desk as you watched her trip over her own feet as she led the blonde out of the room.
When you felt a hand on your shoulder, you imagined it was Natasha, finally finding you in the midst of so many people, but the vision that hit you took your breath away.
You knew that Wanda Maximoff was beautiful. It was a fact that you grumbled against your pillow in irritation when you saw her kissing Vis on the cheek during breaks between classes. And then you saw her, her hair arranged in a high bun, her face powdered with makeup that made her even more beautiful, and her long eyelashes flashing at you through emerald orbs. Damn those eyes. There was a lot to take in in the figure in front of you. Her stupidly beautiful face, her lips slightly stained with lipstick because she had a habit of biting them when nervous, or her partially exposed collarbone from the cut of her blouse. You thought you had forgotten how to breathe.
- Hey. - Wanda greeted you with a lopsided smile. You blinked a few times.
- H-hi Wanda! - you replied after being silent for a moment. You looked away quickly. - Nice party, right?
- I think. - She replied and you noticed the two empty glasses in her hand. You abruptly adjusted your posture, your cheeks flushing slightly, to step back and excuse Wanda so she could fill the glasses with fruit punch. Of course, she was only talking to you because you were in front of the drinks table, preventing her from getting something for herself and Vis.
- Here, sorry about that. - You apologized after moving completely away from the drinking table, Wanda blinked slightly in confusion, and seemed to remember that she was carrying the glasses only at that moment.
- Oh, yeah, right. - she grumbled as she approached the bucket of ponge. - Just gonna grab something for me and Vis.
- Yeah, I figure that. - You replied harshly, looking down at your own shoes.
Wanda raised her eyebrows at your aggressiveness, and she ventured to ask.
- Do you have any problem with Vis? - said the sorceress, now holding the two full glasses in both hands. You rolled your eyes impatiently, which seemed to irritate her.
What difference does that make? - You replied feeling jealousy fill your chest - We are not friends so what I think doesn't really matter.
You regretted the aggressiveness of your words the moment you said them, and you felt even worse when you looked into Wanda's tearful eyes. But you didn't have time to apologize, because the girl just turned her back on you, going back in the same direction she had come from.
Honestly, you wanted to dig a hole in the ground and disappear. Or maybe bang your head against the wall, believing that your only natural talent was to ruin exactly every conversation you had with Wanda. You thought it best to try to find your date, to say goodbye before heading back to the communal room, so you walked in the opposite direction of Wanda.
You searched for Jessica for several minutes. The girl seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth, and then as you strolled down the empty third floor corridors you found her in a compromising position to say the least.
Feeling your cheeks getting very hot, you watched with a mixture of embarrassment, surprise, and horror as your longtime friend knelt down, her head tucked between the spread legs of Trish Walker who was clutching her skirt with one hand as she threw her head against the wall, her eyes closed. For merlin sake. You stumbled backwards, your eyes wide. They were too distracted to notice you, and it took only a sobbing groan from Trish to break your shock. You turned around quickly, shaking your head to try to push the images from your mind.
As you walked down the halls of the third floor, intending to go back to the party and drink as much smuggled alcohol as you could find to erase the image of Trish and Jessica fucking, you bumped into someone.
Wanda's lipstick was much more smudged than before, and her shirt was slightly wrinkled. And then you knew immediately what she was doing in that hallway. Frowning at her, you noticed that she looked embarrassed at having bumped into someone, but you didn't let her speak, rushing to let out an impatient exclamation and leaning against the wall.
- Good Merlin, everyone decided to have sex today. - You sighed, closing your eyes, but opened them the same second the recent images hit you back, watching Wanda stare at you in confusion. She seemed to hesitate between walking away and talking to you, but you were glad when she turned her body in your direction.
- Who's having sex? - she asked with a mixture of curiosity and concern on her face. You let out a low laugh, and let your body slide against the wall until you sat down on the floor. Wanda copied your movement on the opposite wall, and you were facing each other, both sitting in the empty hallway.
- I just saw first hand two colleagues fucking in the hallway. - You grumbled, not saying you had seen your friends. You weren't the type to spread rumors. - I think I'm traumatized for life.
Wanda fought back a smile, clearly still upset with you for the discussion earlier. You swallowed hard, knowing that you had your chance to apologize now.
- That sucks. - Wanda said simply, and you stared at her.
It took a few seconds, but you finally spoke:
- I'm sorry about earlier. I was just being mean, for no reason apparently.
The girl seemed surprised, but then she gave you a short smile. You began to play with your shoelaces when you were silent for a moment.
- I wasn't having sex. - Wanda whispered so softly that you blinked a few times to make sure you heard something. You looked at her in confusion, but she looked away, her cheeks slightly pink. - Vis asked if he could take me to my room, I didn't feel like partying after our discussion. - She explained, still not looking at you. - He said he wanted to give me a proper goodnight kiss.
You felt your stomach drop. Swallowing all your jealousy, you let out a grumble, signaling that you understood what Wanda had said. You looked back down at your own sneakers, and couldn't notice the witch analyzing every micro-expression on your face, her heart beating uncompensated at the confession.
- I didn't want to kiss him like that. - She said at last, and feeling her gaze on you, you reciprocated.
Although you tried to hold it in, you couldn't help but let a shy smile slip between your lips. You looked away again, biting your lips to keep from smiling at the sorceress's newly confessed words.
You were silent for a moment again, and feeling that you finally had a chance to talk to Wanda, about anything, you decided to stick to the subject. Letting your spontaneity guide your speech, you found yourself asking:
- Did you ever want to kiss someone like that?
Wanda looked surprised, and slightly embarrassed judging by the slight blush on her cheeks. You hurried to explain the reason for the question, not wanting the girl to feel pressured to answer.
- I just mean like, how people are sure of that? - You said, and suddenly your anxieties and fears were all on edge and you found yourself sharing about it. - It’s just I've never done anything like that. I was never able to tell for sure if i wanted to kiss someone or if i was just doing because it was what everyone was expecting.
The sorceress seemed to absorb your words carefully. She rested her face on her knees as she looked at you intently.
- Not even with Jessica? Or Bucky? - Wanda asked and you just nodded.  
- I had a lot of fun with Bucky, I really did. He was sweet and funny, and really cute. - You began to explain, while imitating Wanda's position, leaning your head on the arm above your knee. - But then we got to the Yule Ball together and everyone around us were making out and he just said we should try that too. And I was angry because… - You shook your head slightly to stop yourself from confessing exactly why you were upset that night. - Well, things i guess. I just know that in one second we were dancing and then he asked me if we could kiss and I didn’t want to let him down so I said yes.
- Was that your first kiss? - Wanda asked curiously.
- Not really. - You grumbled. - My first kiss was kind of a shitty situation. I was 9, This girl from muggles school locked me in an empty room and said she was going to show me how her father charmed women. She forced a kiss while I was too shocked to react.
- I’m sorry. - Wanda said sincerely, and you just shrugged.
- It 's okay. I guess she liked me but she had too much trauma to show that in a healthy way. - You said looking at Wanda, who frowned, disagreeing.
- This does not justify her behavior. - She retorted and you just bit your lips.
- You’re probably right. - You grumbled, and looked away from her quickly, building up the courage to confess again. - After Bucky, I thought that maybe I only liked girls and that’s why the kiss felt weird. But then Helen Cho kissed me on New Year.
- Wait, what? - Wanda suddenly exclaimed, and you looked at her curiously. Ashamed of her own reaction, Wanda looked away. - Sorry, I didn't know about this. - You let out a short laugh.
- Well, it was holiday break. I went to Steve’s in New Year. His family had a small reunion and Cho was invited.
- Oh, I remember this. - Wanda said. - My brother and I went back to Sokovia that year, so we couldn’t join the meeting.
- Well, you missed my big kiss, miss Maximoff. - You joked but Wanda didn't smile, an expression you couldn't quite decipher. You decided it was best to keep telling your story. - Anyway, Helen is a real flirt. She joked about not having anyone to kiss at midnight and it took her two drinks to ask me. I’m pretty sure it was only after Thor said no to her.
Wanda laughed softly, attentive to your monologue.
- I said yes because I wanted to be sure that I only liked girls. - You confessed, shaking your shoulders slightly. - I talked to Nat about this and she said the only way to be sure was if i felt that kissing girls was just naturally better than kissing  boys, and I just went for it.
- And? - Wanda asked curiously.
- The fucking same. - You confessed, letting out a sad sigh. - I just felt I was doing because everyone else was doing and I could really feel a connection to her. I simply didn’t like her, you know? Like, everyone describes these butterflies and nervousness, and I thought I was feeling it too. But then I realized that I was just anxious about it being a new experience, and being in public. I wasn't nervous about the person I was kissing, it was just too frustrating.
- Is different with Jessica isn’t it? - Wanda asked after a moment, you raised your eyebrow at the almost hurt expression she had on her face, but she looked away from you quickly.
- Yes, but not because of what you’re thinking. - You said. - I’m not in love with her, you know. Things are way less complicated than that.
A short smile escaped Wanda's lips at her confession, but she did not interrupt you.
- We have a lot of things in common. Especially personality traits. - You explained, smoothing yourself better against the wall. - We become friends quite easily. And for some reason I always thought she was hot.
Wanda's gaze fell from yours immediately, but you didn't notice the sad posture she assumed.
- What I mean is, I was attracted to her after we became friends. Then I realized that it was supposed to be like this. I like to have emotional bonds before intimacy affection. - You explained. - She was my first enjoyable kiss, I guess. We kissed a couple times on truth or dare games, but eventually we both realized that even though we had chemistry, we didn’t work as a couple. Manly because we aren’t in love with each other.
- I thought you two were dating. - Wanda suddenly confessed, the same indecipherable expression on her face as before. You looked at her with a mixture of curiosity and surprise.
- I never really dated anyone, Wanda. - You explained. - I guess that’s the real reason on why i was so chocked to find people having sex on a corridor.
Wanda let out a short laugh, and you tried not to blush so much at the sound.
- Anyone would be surprised. Virgin or not. - She said, looking at you tenderly.
You fell into a comfortable silence again. You began to play with the button on your costume, before you felt Wanda's foot tap against yours. She had stretched out her legs, and slowly, both her feet touched the soles of yours. You smiled at her.
- I would like it if we were friends. - she confessed in a whisper.
You shook your head, smiling at her with amusement and affection.
- Who said we weren't friends? - You retorted, and a smile filled the other girl's face.
Before either of you could say anything else, noises of footsteps and voices could be heard in the hallway around the corner from where you were sitting. You exchanged a complicit look with Wanda, and you crawled side by side to the edge of the wall, to hear what seemed to be an argument.
Bruce Banner and Tony Stark were arguing about something in that hallway. They seemed slightly intoxicated judging by the slurred words and unbalanced postures, but the distance and the loud party noise made it impossible for you and Wanda to hear exactly what they were arguing about. They stood like that for a few seconds, until suddenly, Tony pushed Bruce against the corridor wall, and the two of them locked into a passionate kiss.
Your jaw dropped in shock, and before you could even process what had just happened, you watched in horror as Bruce took charge of the kiss, pushing Tony against the wall only to kneel in front of the other boy, beginning to unbuckle Tony's belt. You let out an exclamation and before you could make any more noise, Wanda pulled you back into the hallway, one hand covering your mouth as she laughed at your expressions.
- Okay, I admit, that was traumatic. - She said between short bursts of laughter, removing the hand covering her mouth. You laughed breathlessly, extremely aware of the other girl's proximity.
- I'm starting to think someone put sex potion to the punch. - You tried to joke, but then Wanda realized how close you were and stopped smiling.
- That would be a problem. - she whispered. - I had two cups of that.
You swallowed hard, using all your willpower to keep your gaze on Wanda's eyes, even though your brain commanded you to look at her lips.
- Is that making you feel horny too? - You answer in the same tone and then you watch Wanda stare unashamedly at your mouth. You feel a strange tingling sensation at the tip of your stomach and try to ignore the uneven beating of your heart.
But the moment is completely broken when you hear a loud groaning noise, which did not come from any of you. You shake your head, and as you realize exactly where it is coming from you cover your face with both hands.
- Merlin, what the hell was that. - You grumble and rush to cover your ears as the noises continue. Wanda starts to laugh.
- I think that's our clue to leave. - She comments, and it takes a moment for you to realize that she has moved away, already standing up and away from you.
She reaches out to help you up, and you ignore the butterflies in your stomach when she keeps holding your hand as you run down the hall in the opposite direction from where you were standing.
Concentrating too much on the feel of Wanda's hand in yours, you don't realize where she is leading you until you are almost there. You give her a gentle tug on her hand to stop her, and Wanda looks at you curiously.
- Why are you taking me to the common room? - you question curiously, slightly disappointed that the evening was coming to an end.
- Because it's quite late. - she says as if it were obvious, and you raise an eyebrow. - I need to check on Pietro before going to bed, but that does not mean I can't take you to the dorm.
- What a gentlewoman, you turn out to be, Miss Maximoff. - you joked, and Wanda laughed lightly.
You started walking again next. When you finally reached the entrance to the common room, you turned to Wanda, and found her already looking at you.
- Here we are. - You said softly.
- Here we are. - she replied in the same tone.
A moment passed with just the two of you smiling at each other, until you laughed and looked away, nervousness taking over your body.
- I will see you at class tomorrow, Wanda. - You finally said, letting go of her hands. Wanda seemed to consider something and then she moved closer to you, making you hold your breath.
- Goodnight, Y/N. - She whispered before depositing a long kiss on your cheek. You inhaled her perfume, closing your eyes for a brief moment before she pulled away.
You must have been blushing a lot, and you thought it best to hide your embarrassment, looking away from Wanda quickly and mumbling a awkward "Goodnight. You didn't notice, but Wanda smiled fondly at the shy mess you had become. She waited until you entered the common room before turning around.
It has been three weeks since you spent Christmas Eve with Wanda. When you woke up after that night, you knew that there was something different between you two. Some kind of intimacy that wasn't there before. And you had no idea how to deal with it. Now, every time you saw each other, you exchanged accomplice glances, but neither of you took the first action to get closer. Always surrounded by friends, you didn't have much time alone. And with the start of the final exams, you were feeling overwhelmed
And then you agreed to have a drink with Nat at the Three Broomsticks, to take your mind off the tests for a while, only to witness Vis asking Wanda to be his girlfriend during a date at the same place you were. Of course you had to arrive right then and there. Feeling Wanda's and Nat's eyes focused on you, you just held back your tears and left the bar, being accompanied by your clearly concerned friend.
Heartbreak isn't exactly a plausible and acceptable justification for missing class, so you thought it best just to tell Minerva that you hadn't heard the alarm clock.
When you raised your eyes to Wanda that morning, you felt your stomach sink when she had that same complicit look in her eyes accompanied by a slight smile. But you didn't smile back, and not wanting to deal with her worried expression, you just focused on your transfiguration lesson.
It didn't take long for the class to end, since you had missed almost half of it. But you had to stay a little longer to hear Professor Minerva's sermon.
Since you only had the classes for the subjects you wanted to get your N.E.W.T., your schedule was comfortably empty during the seventh grade. The vast majority of the time had to be spent studying if you wanted to get decent grades on the tests, but you allowed yourself to rest this morning, feeling emotionally tired.
You noted that you had three free periods before the next class, and decided to spend one in the kitchens, confident that the elves would cheer you up a bit since the creatures were extremely adorable.
Leaving the room, you observed the empty corridor around you. Your time getting scolded by Professor Minerva clearly made it possible for all the other students to go to their respective classes. You noticed a small group of students playing explosive snap in the middle yard, but you didn't feel like joining in the fun.
Knowing that you still had plenty of free time, you decided to leave your heavy materials in the common room before going to the kitchen, so you changed your route for the moment.
It was only when you reached a particularly isolated area in a corridor that you almost tripped over your own feet. Wanda was standing in front of you, a serious expression on her face.
- I was waiting for you. - She said holding the bag tightly on her shoulders.
- Is there anything you want to talk about? - You asked impatiently. Wanda pressed her lips together
- Why are you being like this? - She questioned with frowning eyebrows, a hurt expression that made you feel a tightening in your stomach.. - Did I did something?
You were so tired of this game. Then you just exploded.
- You know what Wanda, why don’t you go back to your boyfriend and leave me alone! - You shouted impatiently, frightening Wanda who took a step backwards.. - I’m tired of this game we’re playing. I only get hurt from it.
Not waiting for Wanda to answer, you went around her and started walking. You heard her call you, and ask you to wait, but you didn't obey, holding back tears as you walked.
- Please, listen to me. - She pleaded one last time, and you stopped walking. Taking a deep breath, you turned around..
- What? - Your voice trembled a little, the emotion you were hiding escaping in your speech.
Wanda shifted the weight between her feet, lowering her head slightly with reddened cheeks. You imagined that she was embarrassed by the intensity of your gaze, that she was feeling guilty.
- I’m not dating Vis. - She stated lightly. You looked at her with confusion.
- I saw you two at…
- I know. - She cut you off by looking at you as she clasped her hands together, a shy smile escaping her lips. - I told him that i couldn’t date him. Not when I like someone else.
Great. There was someone else. You let out an exclamation of dissatisfaction.
- Look, it’s nice that you’re sharing your love life with me but i don’t see how this is relevant right now…
- I’m talking about you. - Wanda says looking at you.
- W-what? - You ask confused, feeling your cheeks heat up, your heart racing. Wanda looks as nervous as you do as she approaches.
- You’re the person I’m in love with. - Wanda confesses, her gaze intense on you. You find it hard to breathe now.
- Oh. - That seems to be the only thing you can say, no coherent thought forming at Wanda's proximity. She brought her hands up to your neck and pressed your foreheads together
- It 's okay if I kiss you? - She asked in a low tone, you felt your stomach turn with anxiety.
- I would like that. - You say finally, before you feel Wanda's lips against yours.
It's soft. Just the touch of your lips, and you don't move your hands, still not believing that this is really happening. You think you have something you need to say, so you sigh against Wanda's mouth, and she pulls away a bit, her hands trembling against your neck.
- I'm in love with you too, Wanda. - You whisper and kiss her again, feeling her smile against your mouth.
This time it's even better. Your mouths meet and you kiss her firmly, while bringing your hands to her waist. And then just the touch of your lips is not enough, and you run your tongue over Wanda's lower lip, asking for passage. You think she doesn't understand the request because of her lack of reaction, but the next second she bites your lip gently, drawing a gasp from you. When her tongue brushes against yours, you squeeze her waist, delighting in Wanda's taste. So fucking good, you think as your tongues wrestle together. When you slow the kiss, wanting to savor Wanda calmly, she moves her hands up into your hair, trailing her fingers down the back of your neck. Leaving the kiss as slow as possible, you smile against the kiss as you hear her sigh into your mouth. You always liked to tease after all.
You run one hand up her back, over her neck, pressing her against you as your tongue lingers on hers. You both gasp, and then the rhythm of the kiss changes. You let out a low moan as you feel Wanda pull your hair lightly as she increases the intensity of the kiss. Your hand that was on her waist comes down, and you grab her ass, squeezing and consequently earning a groan from Wanda. The feeling of having her against you is driving you wild, and your stomach is doing somersaults while your heart is racing.
As you pull your mouths apart to catch your breath, Wanda starts running kisses down your jaw to your neck, making your whole body shiver. You smile breathlessly, and feel your legs weaken. Realizing that you need a support to stand, you kiss her hard as you push her gently against the nearest wall.
The position certainly awakens something primal in both of you, the kiss intensifies as Wanda's leg curls against yours, and she pulls your body against hers so that you press her against the wall, something you do without opposition. Your hand squeezes her ass again, and she moans against your mouth.
- Fuck. - You sigh as you feel Wanda bite your lip again, your eyes opening slightly to face the fully dilated pupils staring at you maliciously.
You kiss again, Wanda letting her hands roam down your back, the sensation giving you goosebumps. You moan as you feel her fingers enter your burning skin through your shirt.
- For Merlin Sake! - a voice exclaims in surprise and you both stumble out of the kiss in shock.
It takes a moment for you to clear your own thoughts, everything in your body tingling with the feel of Wanda on your skin. You feel your cheeks heat up sharply as you face the one who interrupted you.
- You guys are so lucky it wasn't a teacher to find you like that. - Nat announced, pointing at the two of you, her tone was serious but her eyes showed amusement. She would surely tease you about this in the future.
- I… We - You tried to formulate a coherent sentence, but in the mix of shame and excitement you were in, you couldn't think of anything.
- It 's okay, love birds. - Nat joked, spreading her hands to push you and Wanda by the shoulders towards the courtyard. - You can continue your make out session somewhere else. I don’t recommend the school corridors, especially when you could get caught by Professor Fury.
- Right. - Wanda grumbles and you just nod in agreement
- The bell is about to ring, so I suggest you two find somewhere more quiet to be. - Nat says - I suggest the empty halls from the seventh floor. Or maybe, you know, a bed in any of the dorms.
You think you have blushed even more at the suggestion, but before you can say anything, Wanda stops walking, and you notice that she is as red as you are.
- Actually I have potions now. - She says, looking at Nat quickly, before her gaze focuses on you. She smiles slightly, and moves closer, making you hold your breath. - I see you at lunch, okay? - She speaks tenderly, placing a short kiss on your lips. You close your eyes at the sensation and think that she has gone too fast. Then Wanda nods to Nat and leaves, leaving you with a silly smile on your lips. The bell rings almost in the next instant and the noise wakes you up from your current state.
- Okay, since we both have free periods now, you're telling me everything. - Nat says, grabbing you by the arm as you walk back down the hall.
You laughed uncomfortably, feeling your face heat up. Taking a deep breath, you ignored Nat's excited expression, preparing to tell her how exactly you ended up in that situation.
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fanficimagery · 3 years
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Coming Out
Imagine being pressured to go on a date and after not being listened to you blurt out the one secret you've kept to yourself for years.
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Words: 3.7K Relationships: Gen Fic (General - No romantic ships) Author's Note: After a brief talk with @ausllyspercabeth​ this is what I came up with. I hope you like it even though it's not exactly what you were looking for. Also I'm not sure this is trigger worthy, but just in case I thought you should know this is a "coming out" story.
For as long as you can remember, you knew you weren't the same as all the other girls your age. When the time came that all the little girls started to realize the boys didn't have cooties, you didn't understand what the big deal was. To you, boys were still boys and you didn't see anything giggle worthy about them.
But what really made you realize that you didn't like boys was when you were at a birthday party and got locked in the room with a boy named Alex. Everyone had giggled outside the door, explaining that you wouldn't be let outside unless you had kissed. And to prove that you did kiss, there was a polaroid camera that you had to take a selfie with while kissing and then slide it underneath the door in order to be let out. You weren't really nervous, instead you were just annoyed, but Alex looked like he was ready to break a window and leave through it. So you had sighed, smoothed out your expression, and kindly told him that you should just get it over with so you can rejoin the party. Reluctantly he agreed as you took hold of the camera in hand properly, and then hesitantly pressed your lips to his. Quickly you snapped the picture, and then you and Alex jerked apart.
The two of you being disgusted by kissing each other forged a friendship from that day forward.
With Alex came his two best friends Reggie and Luke, and the two boys were quick to accept you when you didn't make fun of them for daydreaming about starting a band one day. Instead you encouraged them and eventually introduced them to your mom who they were immediately infatuated with because of her studio out in the garage. And then as the years slowly passed, it was your mother and father who opened their home to your friends when they started to clash with their own parents because of them starting a band.
Eventually, as the years pass, your little sister Julie joins the hangouts when Luke realizes your sister has an amazing set of pipes on her, and with Julie comes Flynn. There's never a quiet day in the Molina household and your parents couldn't be any happier.
But then your mom's health takes a dive and her diagnosis isn't good. Not at all.
The boys are there for you and your family through your mom going through treatments, and then it feels like they're constantly there when the treatments don't work for your mom anymore. They had tried to keep their distance when funeral arrangements started being made, but after your dad asked where the boys had disappeared off to, they made it their mission to be at your house everyday they could.
Life would never be the same in the Molina household, but the boys did their hardest to make sure not a single Molina lost themselves to their grief.
And then it's right before the start of your senior year of high school that your life unravels once more.
It's tradition that the underclassmen plan every big party to make sure the seniors have a great year, and they've been planning a back-to-school bonfire on the beach. Everyone, including you, is excited for it.
You and Alex are going through your closet and drawers, trying to find the perfect outfit for the bonfire since you had helped him the previous day while out shopping. He's going through your bathing suits when Julie walks in, Luke and Reggie on her heels. Julie and Reggie plop onto your bed, and Luke drops onto the lovesac with a groan.
"So guess what?" Julie excitedly says.
"What?"
"Guess who's been asking around about you and asking whether or not you're single?"
It takes a moment for her words to sink in and when they do, you freeze. You drop the pair of shorts you'd been looking at in order to look at your sister, frowning at her too excited expression. "Please don't play matchmaker."
"What? Y/N!" Your sister whines. "It's your senior year. You're supposed to have fun before you leave for college."
"Julie, no." You shake your head, chuckling softly.
"Come on, Y/N," Luke wheedles. "It's Joshua Parker, co-captain of the football team. You seriously need to get laid before we graduate."
Reggie laughs, turning over onto his stomach and batting his eyelashes at you. "According to the female population of Los Feliz High, he's a total catch. Give him a whirl. I'm sure you'll enjoy it."
You wrinkle your nose at your friends, mock gagging. "Pass. I just- no. Can we please drop the subject?"
"Y/N," Julie tries again, softer this time. "Can I ask you a serious question?"
Your heartbeat starts to skyrocket and you gulp. "What?"
"Why don't you date?" And whew! That was not the question you were expecting. "I've never seen you once go on a date."
You shrug and avert your gaze. "I've got better things to do than shoving my tongue down someone's throat or risking an STD."
There have been numerous times when Julie and Flynn tried to pull you into gushing about anyone you'd had a crush on or ranking the boys from your school by order of hotness. You didn't know how to exactly tell them you weren't into boys, so you always made excuses to get out of it. But now, you're feeling a little bit ambushed and you know this talk is not going to end well.
"But how do you know if you've never-"
"Julie!" You snap. "Enough."
Your sister blinks owlishly at you, and Luke and Reggie lose their smiles. The sudden quiet of your room makes you uncomfortable so you make up a quick excuse to leave.
Alex watches Y/N go with a frown before he's looking back at his stunned friends. "Maybe you guys should lay off Y/N. Not everyone is interested in dating."
Julie is the first to snap out of her stupor, shaking her head softly. "She's just nervous. That's the way I was before she encouraged me to take up Nick's offer to dinner and a movie."
Luke snorts. "And look how well that turned out."
"You know what? Shut up!" Julie chunks a pillow at Luke, but he merely laughs and swats it away.
Alex rolls his eyes at them, turning to go find Y/N. He's had a theory for months now as to why Y/N isn't boy crazy like every other girl he knows, but he's willing to wait and let her come out and say it herself.
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Hours later, you leave the safety of the loft when your dad texts you to help set the table. Inside it's a full house, but only Alex glances at you. He offers you a faint smile and you squeeze his arm as you make your way past him to the cabinets. The table is quickly set and the food is brought to the table, and then everyone is sitting and holding hands for a quick prayer.
"Carlos, you're up," your dad says.
Everyone bows their head as Carlos starts. "Lord, we thank you for our good health and Reggie's amazing cooking skills. Amen."
"Amen," everyone repeats, chuckling as Reggie awws and ruffles Carlos' hair.
Dinner is a normal affair with the boys cracking jokes. But then when your dad asks about the plan for the upcoming bonfire, Julie starts explaining all that's going on while you sit there pushing around the corn on your plate.
"And then Joshua really wants Y/N to be his date for the night, but no," she drawls. "My dear older sister is apparently blind and refuses to go out with him."
You sigh and drop your fork. "This again? Really, Jules?"
"What?" She feigns innocence. "I just want you to be happy."
"I am happy," you deadpan.
"And have fun."
"Luke, Reggie, and Alex are fun."
She rolls her eyes. "With people who aren't like our brothers," she says. "Honestly, we thought you and Reggie had a thing going on-"
"What?!" He squawks.
"But then we saw you helping him get ready for a date with another girl and gave up on welcoming Reggie into the family."
You pinch the bridge of your nose, groaning softly. Ray glances between his daughters and the way the usually three teenage boys are averting their gazes. "Mija, maybe you should just leave your sister be. If she doesn't want to go on a date with Joshua, you shouldn't pressure her."
"Agreed!" You look at your dad with a grateful smile. "Thanks, dad."
This time Julie groans. "But I just don't get it." And your mood quickly sours. "You're beautiful and you can have any boy-"
"Because I don't like boys!" You yell. The dinner table falls deathly silent and your eyes instantly tear up. "I haven't liked boys since I realized I liked girls back in the seventh grade." Still not a word is uttered and your heart cracks just a little. Throwing your napkin down onto your plate, you scoff, "Are you happy now?", as you push your chair back and rush out the front door.
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You've been sitting by the beach for about an hour now, sitting on a low brick wall and staring off into the ocean. You've had numerous texts and calls, but the only texts you replied to are your dad's where you told him you'd be back before curfew. But you should have known someone would look for you no matter what and are relieved to see the pink hoodie out of the corner of your eye. Alex.
"How'd you find me?"
"Tracking app," he says. "I've downloaded it on everyone's phones and hid it on the last page in the random folder no one looks through."
You huff quietly, shaking your head in amusement. "So how pissed is my dad? And how's Jules? I didn't mean to snap at her, but-"
"Hey, I get it," Alex says. He leans over, knocking your shoulder with his. "Keeping a secret like ours takes a toll. And then with Julie pressuring you, it's understandable you snapped."
"I just- I feel so bad," you mutter. Leaning against Alex, you lay your head on his shoulder and you feel him lay his head atop yours.
"Don't. Coming out, it's hard. I should know," he chuckles. "But what I don't understand is why you didn't tell me."
"You mean to tell me you didn't realize I was gay back when we had to kiss in seventh grade?" Alex snorts softly and you push off of him so you can look at him, grabbing one of his hands within your own. "I thought about telling you hundreds of times, but then you came out to your parents and their reaction terrified me. I was scared mom and dad would do the same to me."
"Are you joking? Ray and Rose loved you with their entire beings. Heck your dad still does. He'd never treat you any differently."
"No offense, but we all thought that about your parents too and look how that turned out."
He opens his mouth to retort, but snaps it shut and shrugs. "Fair point."
"And besides, we couldn't know for sure. You never really came out to my parents. We only told them you and your parents no longer saw eye to eye. Dad doesn't know you're gay."
"Also fair point," he sighs. "But if I'm being honest, I don't think Ray will be like my parents. If anything, he's probably more upset that you hid yourself for so long."
"God I hope you're right." The only sound you can hear are the waves lapping at the shore. "Can we just- can we chill here a little longer? I'm not ready to go back."
"Of course. But you're buying me a snack because we didn't finish dinner and I spent the last of my money on an Uber out here."
Snorting, you agree and slide off the wall with Alex's hand still encased in your own.
You and Alex walk to a nearby taco truck, and you buy him whatever he wants. You get yourself two tacos as well, plus two glass bottles of Coke and eat down by the water.
For a couple of hours the two of you walk along the beach and then head down to the pier. You listen to a few random people playing instruments in hopes of making a few dollars, and then right before ten at night you decide it's time to finally head home.
"So what do you'll think I'll be walking into?" You ask.
Alex shrugs. "I'm not sure, but whatever it is I'm sure you'll be fine."
As you drop into the seat behind the wheel, you shoot off a quick text to your dad to let him know you're on your way home. Then as you and Alex are buckling up, you get a reply from him. Quickly reading it, you summarize the text for your friend. "Dad said he wants to speak to us."
"U-Us?"
"Yep." You lock your phone and drop it into the cup holder.
"He knows. He so knows about me," Alex realizes.
You huff a laugh. "On the bright side, it looks like we're in this together."
Instead of blaring music like you normally would, you keep it quiet and talk nonsense to Alex to keep him from freaking out too bad. You're at your house in no time and Alex looks at you as if he's walking to his death.
"Keep it together, Mercer. Wasn't it you who was telling me earlier that my dad would be accepting?"
"Yeah." He nods before looking up at your house. "Yeah. It's going to be fine."
As you and Alex climb out of the car, you meet in front of it and you reach for his left hand with your right. He grabs it, interlocking your fingers, and lets you lead the way inside.
When you step inside your house, your dad is the only one there with the TV playing on low. You and Alex walk into the living room as your dad climbs to his feet, and the tears immediately flow when you see tears gathering in your dad's eyes.
"Mija." Ray's voice cracks as he spreads his arms open for a hug, and a sob escapes your throat as you release Alex's hand and close the distance between you and your dad. Your arms wrap tightly around his waist as you hide your face in his chest, and he shushes you while rocking you back and forth. "I love you no matter what. You do know that, right?"
With your throat tight with emotion, all you can do is nod.
"I'm so sorry you felt the need to hide yourself away. You are my flesh and blood, and I love you with all my heart whether you like boys or girls or neither."
"I-I'm sorry." You cry. "It's just- it's really scary saying it out loud and not knowing for sure how anyone will react."
"I know." You feel Ray's chest shudder with suppressed emotion. "And Alex, please don't be mad but the other boys told me what really happened with your parents. I'm so sorry, mijo. No parent should ever treat their child like something's wrong with them or be dismissed because of who they love."
"I-" Alex's voice cracks and you hear him clear his throat a moment later. "Thank you, Mr. Molina. You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that."
Ray chuckles a little wetly. "Get over here. You will always be welcomed here, mijo. I just want you to know that."
You feel Alex come up behind you, hugging your dad and squishing you between the both of them. You can't help the giggle that leaves your mouth and as you stand there hugging your dad it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
"Can we get in on that?" You manage to turn your head towards the voice and smile at Carlos. "That looks really fun."
Ray and Alex loosen the hug, and open their arms just so, so Julie and Carlos can join in.
"I'm sorry," Julie mumbles. "If I had known-"
"But you didn't," you say. "And that's my fault, but please stop trying to hook me up with the guys you and Flynn think are fine."
Julie giggles and agrees.
"Does this mean then that when I'm older, me and you can check out girls together?"
You, Alex, and Julie all laugh at Carlos' earnest question as your dad groans. "Sure, Carlitos. I'll totally scope out the girls with you."
"Alright. Now that we've talked," your dad says, "you're needed outside. Please keep your sister and Luke apart."
Julie groans as you snort. "What?"
"Reggie and Luke are out in the studio," Julie explains. "We're having a sleepover."
"Oh. Okay," you say.
As your dad ushers Carlos away with promises that he can stay up to midnight playing his games, you and Alex follow Julie out the back door. You walk down the curving concrete stairs and enter the studio, grinning at the sight of Reggie and Luke on the pullout couch and the lovesac they apparently stole from your room.
"How did you guys even get that down here?"
"It took us about thirty minutes and a fall down the stairs, but we made it," Luke says.
He's stretched out on the pullout couch and it's no surprise that Julie gravitates his way. You and Alex readily kick off your shoes, and Alex chooses to crawl his way in between your sister and Luke while you join Reggie on the lovesac.
Reggie's arm is stretched out, so you slide over to him and curl into his side. The two of you cuddle into one another and it takes a second for something Julie said earlier to come back to you. "So you guys really thought Reggie and I were creeping behind all your backs?"
Reggie laughs. "Why would any of you think that?"
"Are you really asking that right now?" Luke huffs. "Just look at the way the two of you are laying together."
You and Reggie laugh, knowing full well that being wrapped in one another would look pretty compromising. Eventually your laughter tapers off. "Reggie's a cutie, but he's not exactly my type. Honestly, all three of you boys are good looking but you just don't do it for me. Sorry."
Alex chuckles. "Ditto."
"So I know this is kind of rude to ask, but we're family and I'm super curious," Luke says. Immediately Alex and Julie groan. "Did you guys just like know you were gay or did you kiss the opposite sex and realize then that you didn't it?"
Alex remains quiet, so you decide to go first. "I knew that I liked girls before I ever kissed a boy."
"Same. I knew I liked boys before I kissed a girl."
"Bro, no way!" Luke exclaims. "Who'd you kiss?"
"Wait," Julie frowns, "if you knew you were gay beforehand, then why kiss the opposite sex?"
"Because we were locked in a room," you say.
"And they wouldn't let us out unless we kissed and took a polaroid of said kiss as proof," Alex finishes.
There's a moment of silence as your words sink in, and then- "No way!" Reggie laughs. "You and Alex kissed?!"
You can't help but laugh along with him. "We did."
Alex smiles. "I still have the polaroid somewhere in my closet. I took it back so no one could tease us with it."
"You need to find it so I can see it," you muse. "God it's been forever since that happened."
"And to think if it never had happened, we'd probably have never spoken."
Everyone falls silent as they think about Alex's words, but then you break the silence to say, "I'm really glad you were my first and only boy kiss."
"Same. I'm glad you were my only girl kiss as well."
"Aw you guys," Luke coos. "Y/N and Reg, get your butts over here and cuddle us."
You and Reggie rock and roll yourselves out of the lovesac, you letting Reggie smother your sister while you crawl over Luke and Alex. Luke does his best to tuck you under his chin and you laugh briefly before your body starts to relax.
Sighing softly, you say, "I love you guys. Thank you for being so chill about everything."
"We love you too," Luke muses.
As the talking starts to taper off and you feel yourself dozing off, you say, "I'm really sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner. It's just- I didn't know how-"
"Don't apologize," you sister tells you. "I can't imagine the guts it took to come out and I'm sorry I kind of forced your hand, but we know now and that's all that matters. You and Alex are both loved, and you'll always have a home with us no matter what."
Someone sniffles and then Alex says, "Can someone just hug me?"
You giggle and roll off of Luke, hugging Alex and inadvertently Reggie as well since he had the same idea as you.
"Hey, so if you guys are out," Reggie starts, "does this mean we can finally go to one of those Pride parades?"
Alex snorts. "Reg, we will go to Pride if Luke lets the girls put makeup on him."
"Hey I'm so down," Luke says. "I want rainbow eyeshadow."
"Yeah. Me too!" Reggie agrees.
Julie giggles. "Reg, if we go to Pride we're dressing you up as a fairy."
"Ohh yes!" You lift your head just high enough to nod at your sister. "Reggie's complexion is best to give him an ethereal look with makeup and a pair of fairy wings that we have left over from Halloween. He'd have to be shirtless though, so.."
"Aw man, I'm gonna have to do a lot of sit-ups, aren't I?"
"Yep. But don't worry," you muse. "It'll be well worth it."
"Hey, Luke," Reggie then says. "Ten bucks say I pull more numbers than you."
"You're on, Peters."
As Luke and Reggie bicker about who can pull the most guys, you snuggle into Alex and slowly drift off to sleep. You should have known from the start that you'd be accepted by everyone and you can't believe you wasted so much of your life hiding. But now that everyone who matters knows, you're excited to finally be yourself.
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