#in all honesty. this could have been written about me with my row of jars. goat. peonies. scrap books. etc. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

just-some-random-blogger · 3 years

Text

Bootylicious

Stray Kids Bang Chan x Idol!Reader Summary: You're known as the gym rat in your group, and quite frankly, you only have two moods: shredding or chilling. This was why when you're not asleep in between schedules, you're spotted with a male idol you happened to meet in the gym you were at that day. It's a known fact though, that you and Bang Chan are gym buddies and each other's spotter. Word Count: 2k+ Warnings: Internet toxicity, sasaengs, vulgar language, sexism, misogyny, pining, fluff, mentions of Pentagon because why not <3, etc.

A/N: Girl, i shouldn't do this but I did. It's so funny to me someone requested this cause I have recently become an exercise junkie lol. Also, if you can't tell, there is a pov shift after the cut so yeah. I also wanted to keep the reader gender neutral but I want to write about how psychotically different people treat male and female idols because that stuff aint it. It's most definitely not what anon was expecting me to write but I hope they enjoy it nonetheless.

There's compilation in YT with growing parts centered around you flexing your physical fitness and prowess. It ranges from you affectionally touring your fans, which really meant the cameraman, through the gym, introducing your trainer, and doing your routine on camera, to your group (and others) both fawning and bragging about how strong and how hot you are.

CLIP #1: A scene from an interview of your group in Japan, struggling to talk about how you can do 40 straight push ups.

There was a male interviewer in a suit you could all faintly recognize was talking about your recent Instagram post of a gym mirror selfie.

One of your youngest members smirked and in broken Japanese, cutely said, "Wah, she does 100 push ups! Everyday, every night."

You snap your head to the maknae and raise your brows, "nani?" You begin to shake your hands in protest and begin to explain your truth, "absolutely not 100. Maybe around 40, but nooooo, not 100."

The interviewer and your group comically react in awe. The man in the suit urges, "can you show us?"

You give a face, "Excuse me, but I'm not getting paid to do that in this miniskirt."

Everyone, including the film crew, break into laughter.

CLIP #2: A scene from a variety show where you had to prove you were, in fact, yourself, by doing a shortened version of your exercise routine.

One of the hosts of the show asks, "Wait, do you honestly do all of this in your workout? Like you can do all of it?"

The list of your exercises were written on a colourful cardboard, held by the one who just spoke. It was a range of exercises in 10 sets, from jumping jacks to sit ups, to vague sounding exercises like crab pinches and robot arms.

You purse your lips at the last question asked of you, not really liking the tone in which it was asked. You answer quickly and nod proudly, "I actually do more, cause when I get in the zone and I'm already really sweaty, I feel like I should keep going until my whole body burns." You chuckle.

The older hosts, tilt their head and mutter lowly under their breath something along the lines of, "I'd rather die."

You finally do the routine, quickly, continuously, earning impressed reactions from everyone.

"That's hot," one of the hosts note.

"Ya, for some reason it looks easy to do."

The hosts begin to clamour at that statement, and force whoever said to do the exact thing you did. Clearly, they don't work out as much as you do and cannot even get halfway through it without stopping.

You break out into a breathless laugh in amusement of the comical attempt but then protest, explaining how bad it is to force yourself to do more than you can

CLIP #3: Pentagon, Hongseok especially, fawns over how fit you are

Trailing a conversation about how your group is close with Pentagon because your companies are situated closely to each other and you wind up eating together a lot, there is an anecdote about how there was a jar no one could open, no one but you, that is.

The interviewer asks no one in particular, "wah, none of you could open the jar? Really? Or did you all just pretend so she could open it?"

There is a chorus of answers concluding with, "no really, she was the only one that was able to open it."

The story is backed up by how the jar had a really small lid and some hands were too big. Then came an explanation how you were recently into the new rock climbing machine in your gym.

Hongseok speaks up, "I was invited to go to rock climbing in, like, an actual rock climbing place and I was honestly so surprised when she began to climb. She said she never actually tried rock climbing on a wall, but it seemed like she had been doing it for years."

Shinwon agrees, "Right, right. I was also really curious about what they did that day," he points to Hongseok, "that I joined them one time. I never felt so out of shape in my life. I just stayed back and filmed everything."

Pentagon laughs, and then agrees that you were exceptionally fast and just super fit in all honesty.

The interviewer catches Hongseok's expression then suddenly asks, "do you like a woman like that?"

"Yeah, I like my women strong."

Then came a lot of teasing remarks from Pentagon, and a plethora of complaints from delusional fans who did not want Hongseok to ever breathe in your direction again.

With all that's been said about that, in all the parts of this series floating around in the internet, one thing remained, there was a slightly larger population of impressed fans than the still large portion of antifans who wanted nothing to do with it and only came around to hate.

It's hard not to think about it, but even the slightest back handed compliment can sometimes linger in one's mind.

And right now, as much as I kept my mind on my counting as I finished my set high knees, I couldn't help but think of how much backlash I got from posting a post workout photo with my midriff exposed.

Apparently that was not only enough to merit hate for being both a whore and an attention whore, but people baselessly began to hate on my groupmates simply for being associated with me.

It's kind of sad really, how, say Wonho, can post a fairly exposed photo of himself and get so much praise for it, and yet I couldn't even do anything remotely close to that.

And I don't even mean to come at Wonho, we all know he's a beast at the gym and should be able to show as much of his hard work as he is comfortable in showing, but why can't I?

"Hey trooper. I thought you said you were only doing 80 counts?" a voice cracks me out of my train of thought.

I turn to whom spoke and chuckle at myself as I stop my leg raises, "ah yeah, I got lost in thought, and your really good song."

I pull on my earphones and give a lopside smile, "I love working out to God's Menu."

He gives a soft, "he he, thanks."

"No need for a thank you when I'm only giving my honest opinion, Chan."

"Yeah, well still, it makes my kokoro go doki-doki," he sniggers, crossing his arms and flashing a dimpled smile. I raise my upper lip and reel back, "EWWW!"

I playfully shove him. He acts hurt, "this is violence against children."

"Chan, you're literally older than me."

"That doesn't mean I'm not a child at heart."

"You mean, it doesn't mean you're not a drama queen."

"Hey, I have no interest in having a throne, my only interest is," he leans in and whispers, "you."

I feel my soul leave my body as he snorts to himself and runs away. I regurgitate in surprise, "YA!"

"You better do your next set properly," Chan says heading off to a cable row machine, "I'm always watching."

I try to ignore the blood rushing up your neck, "creep."

He shrugs, "rather that or have you get injured, sweet heart."

Yeah, Chan has saved me from a lot of injuries I could have had. It was a bad habit. It stemmed from the same thing that made me mess up my count a while ago, my overthinking.

Sometimes I thought of rather harmless things, but sometimes I began to fixate on the hate I received for simply being. I do a lot to get my mind to realize that they hated me simply because they could and because it was easy. Exercising helped tremendously, especially when I had someone fun to work out with, especially when I was with Chan. He just... made me feel safe, y'know.

But when the news of us being work out buddies surfaced, a lot of sasaengs came for me. Of course, a lot of Stays and my own fans were really kind about, speaking out that we were our own people and exercising together did not mean anything in particular really.

But some really went for it, and made it a hobby to comment on everything I was in that I was a slut for 'working out' with different men every day."

I let out a breath as I finish my routine. I catch my breath and go for a swig of my water. I take a moment then sit down by the mirror, which was near where Chan was currently working out.

"You're doing it again."

I turn from where I was blankly staring at turn to Chan who gave me a soft look, "you good?"

I release a sigh then purse my lips, "maybe."

He pouts, "what happened?"

I shrug and stand from where I sat, "you know, the usual."

Chan then comes up to me and takes my water bottle from me, "you know, no matter how much people say you don't need water to live, you can never change the fact that you are extremely dependent on water to live."

I look at him and half- heartedly point, "are you calling me thirsty?"

He begrudgingly groans and releases a chuckle. He calls my name out in a scolding tone. I feel myself relax, "I know what you're getting at Chan."

He nods, "good. I'll always be here to remind you of that."

I smile and feel an urge to hug him, "if you weren't so sweaty, I would totally hug you right now."

Chan then gives me a look then does not hesitate to crush me into his arms. I groan and whine in protest. He chuckles, "you literally just said you wanted a hug!"

"YOU'RE LITERALLY SO SWEATY. NO ONE WANTS THIS TORTURE."

Chan huffs and gives a wounded look, "hmp. You better spot me while I lift or else I'm unfriending you."

"Hmm... I think I'll be good without you as a friend."

I half expect Chan to whine about it, but he instead smirks, "ahhhh, you must want me to be your boyfriends so badly huh."

I- I mean...

CLIP #4: A crack edit of Chan when he gets asked about his gym relationship with me in Chan's Room.

He was looking through the questions and suddenly chuckles, his ears noticeably began to redden. Cue a zoom in of his face and his red ears. Cue a clip of Cardi B saying, "that's suspicious."

He says my name then continues, "am I close with her? Yeah. I would say I'm close with her-- and her whole group actually."

Captioned: Nice save, Chris.

"The kids and I are close with her group," he says, clearing his throat.

A clip of him clearing his throat is repeated about ten times.

Chan adjust the beanie he was wearing as he thinks of what he was going to say next, "we actually do work out together a lot because she's under a trainer that works with my trainer."

Captioned: Sure, Chan. That's the only reason, right?

Chan catches another question, "Is she a beast in the gym like Hongseok says?" He breaks into a laugh. He then rubs his cheek and grits his teeth.

A clip of someone saying, "Oh he's jealous," flashes on screen.

"Yeah," Chan finally says, "she's got a really high stamina."

Cue the clip, WHAT DID HE SAY?

Chan continues, "she can go between exercises without stopping. she doesn't even take that much time to catch her breath. In fact, she sings while exercising sometimes, which helps make her vocals stable."

Captioned: Queen Tingz.

The next thing that happens is Chan breaks into a laugh and begins to chuckle. He says, "Sorry I saw a funny comment."

Captioned: WHAT HE MEANS IS HE SAW A COMMENT SAYING 'SHUT UP CHRIS, YOU'RE WHIPPED."

Then came these comments:

LITERALLY LOOK AT HOW FLUFFY BANG CHAN GETS WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT HER DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME MY SHIP IS ALIVE

They are dating period. prove me wrong. you cant

Chan literally blushes over anything, buT HE TURNED INTO A TOMATO WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT HER BYE

if you hate on your faves loving each other, you most definitely need Jesus (:

PLEASE CAN YOU SEE HOW WHIPPED THEY ARE FOR EACH OTHER

Yeah... it's not been confirmed to this day.

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littleeyesofpallas · 4 years

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Batman shenanigans...

So, I’m the type of would-be writer that gets easily bogged down in plotting and planning and researching minutia more than writing actual moment to moment scenes and dialog, and the rabbit hole I’ve found myself tumbling down most recently has been this…

I wanted to rewrite Jason’s Red Hood origin story; from his death and resurrection, up until his big return. Under the Hood has a great finale and a memorable confrontation scene between Jason and Bruce, but in all honesty, the plot surrounding it is pretty blase. And granted, that’s mostly because there were no real long term plans for Jason as Red Hood beyond the big twist, so the initial story wasn’t really written with any solid themes, overarching direction, or character integrity in mind. But then on top of that things attempting to elaborate on the intervening years (Lost Days, and that weird thing they did in the first Red Hood & The Outlaws) also just aren’t especially well handled. They tend to be narrow in scope, isolated within continuity, and not especially thematically substantive.

But here we are, at a point in Jason’s character and publication history, where I think there’s just a lot that can be done with revisiting the idea of his Red Hood debut, as well as the events leading up to it, that could better incorporate his character’s themes and personal history. Something that until somewhat recently had all just felt a little too fresh, still, to really warrant any kind of rewrite and retcon.

The first big question I had to ask myself was, “How long was Jason dead/gone?” because to have gone from a somewhat under accomplished Robin to a credible threat to Batman himself, needs time, even with remarkable circumstances surrounding his training. So, I needed to figure out how long I really needed/had available to work with for his training, as well as what that training would entail; and part of figuring that out also meant taking stock of all the Batfam events Jason missed while gone. Basically, I had to figure out what Batfam events I wanted to keep in my new continuity, and draw up a timeline to keep track of them all…

So, taking a cue from the old Superman & Batman: Generations elseworlds comic —in which John Byrne re-envisions the World’s Finest’s superhero careers as if they had debuted in the year of their first issues, and aged in sync with the real world ever since— I anchored my timeline around Jason’s death in 1988 and just started working out fixed measurements from there…

For example, When Jason becomes Robin, Dick had recently retired the costume and gone to college, putting something of a finite age range on Dick, which helps orient his and Jason’s relative ages, and in turn lets me pinpoint their years of birth, and by proxy nail down Bruce’s age if we consider he adopts Dick in Year Two as Batman. And going off Batman: Year One’s premise of Bruce starting his vigilante career at age 25, it gives me a solid grasp of his age as well.

One problem of course came from the early days of The Dynamic Duo; namely Robin’s time between the ages of 8 and ~17(leaving for college) which lasted the awkward 40-odd years of publication. My solution was to scale the years in publication to his two confirmable ages at the time of The Flying Graysons’ deaths(8yo) and his leave for college(age 17); resulting in a ratio of 1 in-world year:~4.44 publication years.

Applying this to the years before 1980(when Dick leaves for college) in turn pinpoints Babs’ debut as Batgirl, which ironically ends up scaling down to the same year Jason first appears as part of The Flying Todds. (I kept the date of his appearance, but opted to keep his later origin story)

Anyway, while this process was fun and all (and hopefully leads to something a little more productive in the future) the bottom line here is that I just wanted to share the timeline I’ve constructed, because it paints a somewhat jarring picture of everyone’s ages, relative to one another and at the time of certain major events.

Now! Enjoy this harrowing examination of the relative ages of all your favorite Batfam characters, if they didn’t all just hover around the ages of 18-30!

1970: YEAR ONE

Bruce Wayne is 25 - becomes Batman (parents died 17y ago)

Barbara Gordon is 15 (just entering High school

Jean-Paul Valley is 1

In 1 year…

8yo Dick Grayson will watch his parents will die

1976: BATMAN & ROBIN - THE DYNAMIC DUO

Bruce is 31, Barbara is 21 (graduating with her Bachelors)

Dick is 13 - becomes Robin

Helena Bertinelli is 8 - watches her parents die

1979: BATGIRL

Bruce is 34, Dick is 16 (has been Robin for 3 years)

Babs is 24 - becomes Batgirl

already completed a PhD in Library Science

Jason Todd is 8 - watches parents die

in 1 year…

35yo Bruce will have been Batman for 10 years

17yo Dick will be shot, fake death, & go to college

join the New Teen Titans(?)

1983: JUST ANOTHER KID ON CRIME ALLEY

Bruce is 38, Dick is 20, Babs is 28

Jason is 12 - becomes the 2nd Robin

Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain are both 1yo

In 1 year…

21yo Dick becomes Nightwing

1988: DEATH IN THE FAMILY & KILLING JOKE

Bruce is 43, Dick is 25

Jason is 17 - murdered

Babs is 33 - shot and paralyzed

Lucas Fox is born

In 1 year…

Babs becomes Oracle

21yo Helena becomes Huntress

12yo Kate Kane watches her mother and sister die

1990: A LONELY PLACE OF DYING

Bruce is 45, Dick is 27, Babs is 35

Tim Drake is 13yo - becomes the 3rd Robin

Tim Drake & Kate Kane are the same age

Cassandra Cain is 8yo - just killed her first man

1992: KNIGHT FALL

Bruce is 47, Dick is 29, Babs is 37, Tim & Kate are 15

Stephanie Brown is 10 - becomes Spoiler

Jean-Paul Valley is 23 - becomes Azrael

Renee Montoya is 21 - joins GCPD, partnered with Harvey Bullock

In 1 year…

48yo Bruce will have back broken by Bane

24yo Jean-Paul will become Batman

1995: LOST DAYS

Bruce is 50, Dick is 32, Helena is 27, Kate is 18, Cass is 13

Babs is 40 - forms Birds of Prey

Tim is 18 - retires as Robin, goes to college

based on Unmasked happening while Tim is in high school, but pushing to senior year to accommodate Spoiler’s age

Steph is 13 - becomes the 4th Robin

keeping War Games in ‘04, Steph gets more time as Robin

Calvin Rose is 8 - locked in kennel by his father

In 1 year…

Jason will rise from the dead (with the body of a 17yo)

33yo Dick will relocate to Bludhaven

51 yo Bruce and ??yo Talia will conceive Damian

1999: NO MAN’S LAND

Bruce is 54, Dick is 36, Babs is 44, Jason is “20,” Kate is 22

Tim is 22 - returns as Robin

Steph is 17 - pregnant

Helena is 31, Cass is 17 - sequence of Batgirls

Duke Thomas and Harper Row are 1

Steph being 10 when she starts as Spoiler is also a little hard to believe, I know. And her having a thing with Tim 5 years her senior is pretty squicky. (It’s not a big age gap for adults, but the fact that Tim would be 20 when she’s 15 is pretty, bleugh!)

But the problem is that I anchored her to her teen pregnancy in 1999, and a pregnancy scare at 18 or 19 doesn’t really feel like a big deal, (I mean, it is as a personal thing, but not so much as a publication thing*, if that makes sense?) which made 17 about as old as I could make her at that time.

*Pregnant at 18 or 19 is just, “wow, you’re young, and this was probably a bad idea, and you’re not ready… but you’re also a legal consenting adult and this isn’t some kind of cause for moral panic, just kinda trashy…” territory, and not like a big controversial, 90s-dark-age, comic-selling gimmick, you know?

2001: JOKER’S LAST LAUGH

Joker dies of cancer (not featured on this timeline)

2003: UNDER THE RED HOOD, & WAR GAMES

Bruce is 58, Dick is 40, Babs is 48, Tim is 26

Helena is 35, Steph & Cass are 21

Jason is “24″ - returns in Hush plot

Jean-Paul is 34 - “dies”

Ra’s al Ghul killed by Nyssa ah Ghul (not featured on this timeline)

In 1 year…

22yo Steph will be “murdered”

25yo Jason will return as Red Hood

2006: ROBIN: WANTED

Cass is 24 - begins long process of beating up her family

kills Nyssa al Ghul (not featured on this timeline)

In 1 year...

Cass will take over the League of Assassins

2007: BATMAN AND SON

Bruce is 62, Dick is 44, Babs is 52, Jason is “28,″ Tim & Kate are 30

Damian is 11 - becomes the 5th Robin

Renee is 37 - becomes The Question

In 1 year…

63yo Bruce Wayne will “die”

29yo Jason will don the Red Robin mantle w/Challengers

Kind of like in Arkham Knight, I LOVE the idea of Jason returning to a Gotham where the Joker has been confirmed dead. So, instead of just going to Arkham and asking Joker what’s up with the new copycat Red Hood, everyone has to legit wonder: Did he just fake his death?/Was he resurrected? Is Joker back?

I made Jason’s return at age 25 because it mirrored Bruce’s start as Batman. There wasn’t really a good anchor otherwise, but I might nudge that date around, if only because resurrected Jason being “younger” than Tim is super weird. My other angle here was to determine how long Jason was training for his return, and determine his resurrection that way. (Comics have made it that he was resurrected within the same year he died, but that feels frivolous to me, so whatever my final version, I’ve opted to let Jason stay dead for at least a full year.)

There’s also the whole 2010s decade, but that’s less relevant to my Jason story’s timeline. But, yeah... this has highlighted some interesting points for me to play with! Like that fact that Jason…

…is almost the same age as the Dynamic Duo itself

He’s never known a world without Batman & Robin in it

…is the version of Robin Tim, Kate, Steph & Cass all think of first, since he was Robin when they were kids, not Dick.

And in fact they all would only ever know of Dick as Nightwing.

…got captured and killed by Joker right after Barbara got shot

He DEFINITELY should’ve been motivated to kill Joker by that, instead of the random biological mom smuggling drugs in Iran plot

…was resurrected right around the same time that Damian was conceived, and that Calvin began training as a Talon prospect

makes interesting parallels about different plans to replace Batman all forming right around the same time; with Bruce entering his 50s and having just lost to Bane

…showed back up in the same year that Azrael died

I think it’d be cool if those were more closely linked, instead of Azrael just being shot by a couple of C-listers

…comes back to start a gang war with Blackmask and yell at Bruce about dead Robin issues at the same time Steph gets killed by Blackmask while trying to execute Bruce’s plan to take over the mob.

How can I not take advantage of that for more drama?

Also, not part of my fic, but how cool that Duke and Harper were born in the middle of the Gotham earthquake in Cataclysm? And with Damian having lost a year to being dead, he’s the same age as Duke, which kinda makes Duke not wanting the Robin mantle a little more interesting.

I find it funny that kids in Gotham are really consistently traumatized at the age of 8 for some reason: Bruce, Dick, Jason, Helena, Cassandra, Calvin...

Half the Batgirls were in fact grown ass women and not “girls,” when they started in on the vigilante racket and I’m tempted to just combine them with the Batwoman legacy a ditch the weird nubile/infantilism fixation comic creators have on forcing them to hover around 18-20 while all the guys hover closer to 30.

And I’m trying will all my might to fight the compulsion to do a timeline for the Teen Titans, because knowing the Robins’ ages puts a pretty narrow frame on the other Teen Titans’ ages at any given time, but by god the fact that they keep reusing the New Teen Titans roster but for EVERY new Robin is a maddening paradox...

Don’t even get me started on that fact that now I get to go map all the Gotham Rogues and figure out just how long they’ve each been up to their bullshit, and who’s still rolling around Gotham in, like, a wheelchair at age 80, menacing the Bat...

#batman #redhood #bruce wayne #jason todd #nightwing #oracle #batgirl #robin

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kpopfanfictrash · 7 years

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Row AQ

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Yoongi (Suga)

Genre: Fluff / Humor

Prompt: “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.” + Library!AU

Rating: PG

Word Count: 2,955

Someone wrote in the book.

Slamming the cover shut, you glare at the deadened library before you. The place is empty, nothing but vacant tables and books as far as the eye can see.

Plopping down in your chair, you sullenly scroll through your laptop and sigh. The book is Kerouac – On the Road, which is an ostentatiously male read. This is the main reason you assume the defacer is male, although the handwriting alone might be enough to identify that fact. Bold scribbles in the margins, notes about the book and life in general. Which would be fine, if this were his book, but it is not.

Rather sadly, you brush the book’s spine. Without thinking, you flip the book open to page 114. This is where the writer apparently lost steam, for the notes end here. It’s the beginning of Part II, where Sal and Dean are discussing a dream Sal had. They converse briefly on the idea of longing for death. Written in the margin is:

It’s interesting... they say they want nothing to do with death, and yet their lifestyle is a contradiction of this. Bright and burning, ferocious and reckless. Is living like this an attempt to keep death at bay, or draw it closer? After all, what’s more alive than to look death in the face and know you’re not?

Lowering the book, you stare into space for a moment.

Perhaps the most annoying part of the whole situation is how intriguing the vandal’s comments are; how thoughtful and intelligent he seems to be. Second most annoying is that the notes are penned in a jarring shade of blue ink. The color lends further to the insult and, gritting your teeth, you push the book aside.

It’s the guy’s audacity which really irks you. The fact that he assumed everyone would want to read his thoughts.

What’s even more annoying is he didn’t even check the book out. When you looked up the last owner, you saw Rosie Garcell. She checked the book out four months ago, despite On the Road being found out of place yesterday.

It’s not only On the Road, either – you found similar notes in Hamlet and The Importance of Being Earnest; big, giant HA’s written across the pages of the latter. At least the guy finds Cecily as annoying as you do, although you suppose that’s kind of the point. The guy flat out screams in the margins in one spot, which made you laugh. Only briefly, before you caught yourself.

Rosie Garcell never checked out The Importance of Being Earnest though, which means the vandal isn’t her. It’s someone else removing the books from their shelves, marking them in bright blue ink and putting them back. You just need to find out who and make them stop.

At least, now you know what book the vandal is on. Staring at On the Road, you contemplate whether or not to act. On the one hand, you really want to let them know you’re onto them. On the other hand, if you do what you’re thinking, it’d make you complicit in their public destruction.

Exhaling deeply, you set the book down on the table. Flipping to page 114 and staring at the last note, you cast a quick glance around the room and lower your pen.

Honestly. What are you doing, defacing library books? Buy your own copy if you want to wax poetic.

You frown at the words, re-reading and wondering if they’re threatening enough. Or possibly they’re too threatening. This is your first conversation, after all. Shaking your head, you decide you’re over-thinking things again.

Before you can stop myself though, you add:

Thanks, and hope you have a nice day.

Placing your pen back in your pocket, you glance at the empty library. Walking quickly to row AQ, where On the Road was found, you shove the book back into place and wipe your now-sweaty palms on your pants. Hopefully, the vandal won’t take long to reply.

They don’t.

The very next night, you check Row AQ for an update before sitting down at your desk. On the Road is visible, its red jacket prominent and your heart starts to pound, walking down the aisle. You didn’t shelve it sticking out so far. Grabbing its spine, you gasp when you see an earmarked page.

Page 196, and beside the page marker is a note.

Hello, either A) righteous library worker or B) concerned citizen who’s wandered in from the streets. It’s good to see you’re taking an interest in the public library system. I, too, wish I could buy my own copy but unfortunately, I’m flat-out broke. Skint, penniless, no coin in my threadbare pockets.

That said, it was kind – if somewhat odd – of you to wish me a nice day, so I’ll do the same.

P.S. What did you think of Sal and Dean’s conversation? Do you see the lure of death? Personally, I think it’d be kind of fun to haunt someone.

You almost laugh, but catch yourself just in time. This punk – he has some nerve to try and be funny in this kind of situation. Despite this, you find myself smiling as you walk down the aisle.

Battling the guilt of removing a book from its row, you bring the book to your desk and sit to re-read the vandal’s words. The library is busier than usual tonight, so it’s a long while before you can lay your pen to paper.

Hello, sir.

You are a sir, aren’t you? If you’re female and I’ve assumed wrongly based on your handwriting – I do apologize. It’s fine that you’re broke, but why do you have to write in the margins? You can just read! Control your ink.

Interesting though, that you think it’d be fun to haunt someone because WRITE IN THE MARGIANS AGAIN and if I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.

P.S. I did agree with your general thoughts on the conversation.

Quickly shutting the book, you wonder what the hell you’re doing.

You’re an upstanding citizen. You volunteer, work part-time around your college courses and always, always pay your credit card bill on time. You’re not a chronic margin-writer and yet, here you are on your bathroom break, sliding the book into its new spot at the end of row AQ.

Returning to your desk, you wonder if this guy visits the library in the morning. It must be a time other than your shift, since you never seem to see him. Or, maybe he’s sitting here right now. Scanning the room, you narrow my eyes and try to identify the culprit.

A woman stands at the water fountain; you watch her pile three books on top of the ledge before taking a drink. You wince at the thought of them falling before moving on to the next person. Behind her sits a girl and boy. Neither one of them have pens with them though, and both seem immersed in their books, so you keep looking.

One by one, you cross off every person in the library. Sinking lower in your seat to swivel around, you know this is silly, yet your gaze continues to drift in the direction of the stacks. There’s nothing to do now but wait, and it is with this mindset the night passes.

The next day, you fairly run from your lecture hall. Catching the bus in record time, you sprint from the steps and nearly bowl over the lone guy who stands in line for the bus. Shoulder hitting his, you spin to jog backwards.

“Sorry!” you yell, wincing when the guy doesn’t look. “Really!”

Nodding once, the guy adjusts his black beanie and climbs onto the bus. Over his shoulder, he waves a hand to acknowledge he’s fine. Shrugging, you hike your bag higher and open the library doors.

First, you wander the room, glancing at every face before reaching row AQ. It’s disappointing when you find the book already there. You’d been half-hoping to catch whoever it is in the act.

Tugging the book from the shelf, it falls open in your hand.

Yes, I’m a guy and although I don’t object to being called sir, Yoongi will do. I’m offended you’d ask me to stop writing. Ask me not to breathe, ask me not to speak, but never deprive me of words.

You’ll haunt my ass? For uh, scientific reasons… are you a girl or a guy?

P.S. Also – just out of curiosity, which notes of mine stuck out?

Your heart pounds, probably from running so fast. As you firmly shut the book, you realize today’s page is 215. Either, Yoongi didn’t have as much time to read, or he’s reading slower than usual. The realization makes you wonder if he’s enjoying the exchange as much as you are, and attempting to stretch out our conversation.

Glancing at your watch, you notice the time. 4:05 PM – damn, you’re late. Dashing back to the front, you studiously avoid meeting your boss’ gaze. It’s not like you can explain where you’ve been, or what you’ve been doing. Your pen itches to write Yoongi back but again, the library is busy tonight.

You end up preoccupied nearly until close, helping students to find books, returning old ones to shelves: cataloguing, indexing and checking people in. Finally, around 10:00 PM, you explain to your boss you need to return one more book to its shelf.

Returning to row AQ, you squat behind the shelves. Scribbling furiously to Yoongi, you write on page 215.

I am a girl, my name is Y/N. I’ll be sure to respect your boundaries when I’m haunting you. I do want to apologize though, for telling you to stop writing. In all honesty – despite the delinquency of method – the notes you wrote were rather beautiful.

P.S. I have a lot of favorites

The next day, you manage to work for nearly a half-hour before allowing yourself to check the shelf. You half-jog to row AQ, yanking On the Road from it’s hiding place on the shelf.

Page 217 has been bookmarked and you laugh, realizing yes, Yoongi is reading slower on purpose.

Hi Y/N,

You work here, don’t you? You must, since you keep calling me all sorts of rude things for doodling in the margins. What’s your favorite book? I’ll read that one next. If… I can ever finish this book, that is. Page 216 was tough to get through. It took me an entire day.

P.S. Please tell me? I’ll tell you something in return.

Exhaling softly, you try and suppress your excitement. You don’t know Yoongi, you remind yourself. It makes absolutely no sense to be so interested in what he has to say.

The library is rather empty tonight, though, so you quickly pull out your ballpoint pen and settle down on the floor. You’ve been writing in black ink throughout the book, in contrast to Yoongi’s blue-colored notes.

I only call you names you deserve, Yoongi.

Defacer, graffitist, criminal, thug, ruffian, delinquent – I could go on, but this is only a 300 page novel. Defacing books is the highest form of crime, in my opinion. My favorite book is The Importance of Being Earnest – but I saw you wrote notes in the margins of that one already.

P.S. What secret would you tell me?

The next night, on page 218:

Y/N, I think you’re forgetting one, very important detail and that is – you’re ALSO writing in this book! You’re a defacer, a graffitist, a criminal, a ruffian, a delinquent – well, I can’t quite say thug. Although, if you want me to call you a thug, far be it from me to crush your dreams.

P.S. If you tell me what your favorite note is, I’ll tell you something I haven’t told anyone

The conversation has been going on for over a week.

Rereading Yoongi’s last note, you lean your head to the wall. You feel as if you know him, which sounds silly. You don’t know this Yoongi. You don’t know anything real about him, beyond his pen and his ink and his words but somehow, this feels like enough.

Yoongi.

I like your name – did I tell you that? It’d be nice to hear you say it aloud. Fine, I’ll tell you my favorite, but I expect a very incriminating secret in return.

P.S. “Breathing is easy, but living is hard. When people ask about your life, they never ask about your temperature, your last meal, or how well you slept. They ask about your sweat, your thoughts and your actions. I want my actions to count.”

Setting down your pen, you stare at his quote.

You didn’t even need to reference the words; you’d already memorized them. It’s an annotation Yoongi wrote in Part I of On the Road. It had struck you at the time, part of the reason you kept flipping pages. Most people write dutifully, a train of thought which rarely amounts anything. Not Yoongi.

Returning the book to its shelf, you wonder if this is what you wanted all along. To know more about the man who wrote such beautiful words.

The entire bus ride home, you stare out the window. It’d be nice if you were courageous enough to do something like leave Yoongi your number. The idea of it brings heat to your cheeks and again, you tell myself you don’t know him. Yoongi could be seventy years old, or not interested in women, or an ax murderer. Leaning your head to the glass, you continue to stare at the streets which pass by.

Realizing something, you straighten in your seat. There’s an easy solution to all this. You could simply go to the library early. You could camp by the shelf and wait for Yoongi to appear. Even if you decide not to speak to him, at least you’d know what he looks like. Mind made up, your eyelids flutter shut. Tomorrow, you’ll head into work early.

The next morning, you skip class. Heart racing, you duck in the side door of the library, scared someone will recognize you and call out your name. It’d be awkward for Yoongi to recognize you before you can recognize him. Wandering further in, you choose a table directly facing Row AQ. I wait. Pulling out your binders, you pretend to study when in actuality, you’re peering over your book at the shelves.

No one comes.

Minutes, hours pass and you sit there in silence, growing more and more impatient. Maybe Yoongi comes to the library later than you originally thought. Possibly he leaves before 4:00 pm (the start of my shift), but arrives after – you glance at your watch and feel your heart sink. 3:30. You must have missed him. Or, maybe Yoongi just isn’t coming by today.

Wearily, you stand and begin gathering your things. Halfheartedly, you decide to check the book but are halfway down the aisle when you notice it’s gone. Nearly tripping over yourself in your haste to be closer, your hands brush the shelves, but there’s nothing to find.

High and low, you search for a book that’s not there. Groaning out loud, you run a hand through your hair. The only thing you can think is someone on the library staff rearranged the shelves before your arrival.

That, or Yoongi moved the book.

Warily, you consider this option. Yoongi hasn’t come in yet today, he hasn’t left you a note. Maybe your last note was too much and you scared him off. Maybe, Yoongi could tell that you liked him – maybe he saw you’re enamored with a total stranger, completely freaking him out, so he ran.

Swallowing hard, you realize it’s almost time for your shift. Holding your things tightly to your chest, you berate myself for imagining this to be more. It’s not as though you and Yoongi are friends, it’s not like you were actually flirting.

Still, his notes have become the highlight of your week and the thought of their absence pains you more than you can articulate.

Rounding the corner, your feet come to a stop. You stare, confused by the sight of On the Road placed in the middle of your desk. The cover is unmistakable, bright red and completely out of place. Slowly, you lower your bag to the ground, taking a step forward and running a finger along its spine.

You notice the last page has been folded and when you open the book, your heart starts to race.

I haven’t told anyone this yet, but I’m falling for a girl I’ve never met.

Someone clears his throat from behind and you whirl, nearly dropping the book in the process.

A guy stands several feet away, staring at you with wide eyes. He’s handsome; medium height and build, with delicate features. His hair is silver – dyed, you think – and slightly reflective in the light. In his hands, the guy is holding a black knit beanie.

“You,” you blurt, realizing who he is. “I almost knocked you over when I ran off of the bus.”

Yoongi nods, somewhat incredulous. “I thought I recognized you.”

Placing the book down on your desk, you take a slow step forward. “You didn’t come to the library this morning,” you say, your eyes narrowing. “I waited for you.”

His upper lip quirks. “I came earlier,” Yoongi explains. “I couldn’t wait any longer. I’m... Yoongi, by the way.”

You watch him move closer. “I know. I’m Y/N.”

“Hm. What do you know.” Yoongi scans my face. “I like the way you say your name.”

“That’s my line,” you say, crossing your arms. A faint smile takes over your face. “I should have known you were a thief, in addition to vandal.”

Yoongi grins. “Slander,” he murmurs, his eyes large and dark. Silver hair falls into his gaze as he exhales. “I’m sorry, I can’t seem to get over you being here. You’re just so…”

“Short?”

“Beautiful.”

You’re grateful then, that you’re in a library. It means the space between you is hushed, the people around you infinitely quiet. You hear every word Yoongi says and you feel when something careful settles into place between you.

“Did you mean it?” you ask, swallowing your hesitancy. “What you wrote?”

He’s falling for someone he’s never met.

Yoongi nods again. “Did you really like my writing?”

You nod back. “Yes. Very much so.”

You stand there for a while, looking at one another. At least, you do until Yoongi smiles and you realize what could possibly be more beautiful than his words.

“Then,” he teases, his eyes bright with humor. “I propose a deal. I’ll pay the library back for the book I destroyed if you’ll go on a date with me.”

You laugh, a touch nervous when he takes a step closer. “But what would you get?”

“That’s simple,” Yoongi says. “I’ll get you on a date. What do you say?”

A slow smile spreads across your face. “I’d say thank you for defacing public property.”

Author’s Note: Er. This is a one shot. LOL - I hope you enjoy!

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