#in a way thats a good thing i always feel like genuinely bad for folks whos childhood books were like normal good books and later the author

[answersfromzestual]

I want to talk about something today. Something very important for younger people and newer people coming out.

Research with legitimate sources, aka scholarly articles and medical journals/studies. Wiki is not a good source, people can change info at any point true or untrue.

We want to look for articles with medical and area professionals clearly placing their name in and on the article, or the most reliable sources are called scholarly articles and medical journals/studies, also some gender affirming clinics lay out a lot of information on their websites, most clinics dont mind answering your questions or concerns via email or phone (they may get back to you at a later date). When looking for information, you want peer reviewed medical information. Google has these features that can help narrow down your search for more accurate results. Using quotes around exact words or phrases is a trick to narrow down to more on topic search results.

Also, use Google Scholar (just type "Google scholar" into the search bar to find only actual medical articles and studies. Even lawsuits.

This is the google search bar for scholarly information below:

****READ THE ARTICLE FROM START TO FINISH OR AT LEAST THE PART(S) THAT PORTAIN TO YOUR RESEARCH!(some articles can include more than one study)****

Don't only use one source for your information, find as many as you can until you feel confident in the field of medicines and your concolusions about them. Information you use should be verified by several responsibly written articles, journals, and/or studies.

Call surgeons' offices, ask questions.

Research doctors in your area or a doctor you really like, again don't be afraid to call or email clinics!

When it comes to surgery and your body, if you have a bad feeling, any bad gut feelings before they put you under, about the surgeron or their methods, even team. You can back out until you are knocked out. You can say no as soon as you walk into the surgical suite. You worry about you.

Please, when going onto transgender groups (facebook and stuff), that not everyone is being genuine with you. People can be anything or anyone on the internet, behind that screen. I see trans people spreading anti-transtional propaganda (not on purpose), and they don't notice or know better. The negative people tend to pick out their victims early, cling onto someone newer in transitioning or even just joining the group. They probably try getting chummy really fast, getting into a lot of detail very early. They will start bringing up [negative] transitional things when they have nothing to do with the conversation you are having. It's a red flag when you can't talk about anything but "transitioning," and its a sign you need to block if all they say are negative, things. Life happens, but you don't need to drown yourself in negativity. Beware of people on the internet. Their intent is not always good, anyone can lie, anyone can find fake pictures for their profile, anyone can pretend to be someone they are not. Some of us should know that well as trans folk. Some people are even legitimate and are perhaps mad/ unhappy about their results and tend to use way overly dramatic words to describe their results, these people usually aren't telling you the whole truth. People also tend not to want to put any blame on themselves. If you aren't being honest yourself about your results and what and where things went wrong thats not okay. That,or telling someone not to do something that prevents transitioning or calming their dysphoria, that's considered transphobia.

It's important to also know that Facebook, Twitter, etc. are often looked at by employers, so many people will not use their own profiles to be a imaginary person.

Edit: Yes, transgender people can be transphobic as well. Look up Caitlin Jenner and what she's said and tried to do. Let me tell you now, she said transwomen should not be allowed to compete in sporting events, claiming "allowing transwomen to compete destroys women's sports" . So please, if you use that card, put it back in the deck. It's not true, and it's just a wrong blanket statement altogether. There are people who finish their transition and forget they had the rights they want taken away.

I want you to know and it's important to know many end results almost solely rely on the person and how they take care of themselves pre-op and post-op (yes taking care of your body before matters for optimum results). If you are heavier, your body has a harder time healing. This can cause complications and less favorable results because of those complications. I do have a post on being larger and surgical complications that are involved with that. (Here are some links about plus sized risks and general risks: plus size, general risks)

From Dad Shadow: Remember, don't tell anyone online personal information, even if you have been talking for years. Also, do not place yourself (ex. "Im gunna to go to the Starbucks on fifth around the corner from my house." this is especially bad if they may know your partial location) Someone can figure out your identity/location. Don't reveal anything you'd be asked to use as an account recovery question. When I was a younger adult, I saw someone post an image of a girl he met on 'Omegle', saying, "They accidentally got disconnected." Within two hours, everything about this girl was on this thread... from her name, where she was attending school, her personal address, her Facebook. All of it. It was more than one person looking and posting as well. People can be like this... I know you know, but the Dad in me wants to remind you. Browse safely!

I hope you read this and found it helpful everyone. I felt this is a need and it doesn't need post secondary education classes to teach you how to properly find sourced information for reports (same as your knowledge on the subject you are talking about).

P.s keeping your skin elasticity is very important, so mosturize your pecks, let it dry, then put on your binder.

Stay Golden Everyone ✌️ 💙 💜

#transgender #trans ftm #transman #ftm transition #ask me things #phalloplasty #ftm phalloplasty #phalloplasty blog #lgbtq #phallo education #ftm top education #ftm surgery information #how to properly find sourced information #this is how and where you should be looking #internet safety #internet searching #getting correct information #unbiased informational sources #google scholar

[binalakai]

🍅🧅🍏🥑 wahoo fruit party!!

How misunderstood is your OC? In-universe or IRL. oh god. okay. okay Hue Man on Earth is a story that is. REALLY hard for me to share, despite how much I do try to talk about it publicly (or at least update my toyhouse as much as possible when i feel like doing that), there's always that sense of. people either boiling my characters down to Tropes/who's the Bad one and who's the Good One. whos the character thats meant to be a personal attack on someone (none of them are) n whos the character that is meant to be relatable (none of them are PURPOSELY written to be that way) n it just. really goddamn sucks sometimes. i could talk about specifics with my main trio specifically, over the course of time that i've had Hue, Magni, and Clyde, theyve all been weirdly misunderstood in their own way that i have gotten to the point of having to reevaluate those folks n look inward into seeing if that perception of themselves can be weaved into the plot. but honestly i think ill catch myself in a bad mood atm if i think about it too hard. tldr on that; i try to microdose my story when sharing it to others, n even then i get really nervous about the idea that my story wont be valued/understood as a whole, which is partially of my own doing as well bc i do have a tendency to Put a Lot into characters once i get super attached to them. ..so nowadays im too burned out to do that :"P once i make that pitch bible, it probably still wont fix that, but its still a project im committing to nonetheless! 🧅 [ONION] What is surefire to make your OC cry? Who knows of this information? Hue) hard to answer with a creature like him. objectively, he doesnt cry. its not needed for him to release emotion the same way it does for Earth-things. but he does it anyway, or at least the equivalent (letting go of parts of his body in droplets from his eyes, just for them to crawl back to his body) it's less about "am i sad right now and do i have to cry" and more like "is crying appropriate for this situation.". after his Human arc in arc 5, its something he actually stops doing as a whole because experiencing the feeling of crying in a human body like. Actually Fucks him up REAL bad NJWKEFNAJKWFNAKWEF Magni) the "sillier" or "unrelated to themselves" the issue is, the more theyll have a tendency to genuinely cry over it. they cry when they know no one else is there to mourn over the problem they're crying about, which is why they'll have a very Stone Flat Face when Witnessing the horrors, but will have an absolute meltdown over dropping their favorite cup Clyde) Honestly that motherfucker will cry over. like....anything? Honestly? to the point where it can be unpredictable. Clyde's emotions are based less on the Cause of Crying and more about the intensity of its emotions. any time it gets overwhelmed, it will cry, and its been labeled a crybaby inuniverse because of that 🍏 [GREEN APPLE] How do they differ from the norm and how are they punished for it? answering this all together, and honestly without having to like. explain the whole plot of HMoE in one setting. Hue seen as different from the norm not because he's an alien but because he's technically an illegal immigrant, Magni and Clyde are autistic PoC that also Do Not Fit Well into their hometown whatsoever. may i need to say anything else. 🥑 [AVACADO] What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?

Hue) trying to be seen as a good person, even if it means doing the most heinous shit possible (as long as he's able to hide it/insist on good intentions) Magni) trying to be seen as the Right Person, even if it means twisting things in their favor SPECIFICALLY to be right (though will admit to it redhanded if theyre caught, more out of being impressed if anything) Clyde) trying to be seen as the Truthful Person, even if it means ruining everyone's day/life about it (it''ll try to seem like it doesnt care about being "bad", but it very much actually eats away at it. every single damn day)

#hue man on earth #HI .FINALLY GETTING TO THIS.

[unmakeyourself]

I'm going to be very brutally honest and open in a way I'm not with many people, because everyone starts going "oh my god thats so horrible" and it turns into me comforting that person instead of me being able to talk openly about how bad things are.

I want to fucking kill myself. Every second of every day. I've blocked out most of my memories because the harassment and bullying thrown at me from such a young age genuinely fucked me up to the point of several attempts at taking my own life throughout my school life. I'm not trying to unblock these memories because they would be too harmful to go through again. I coped by clinging to music, finding bands like Paramore to keep me going, but it was always a struggle because god forbid I have a good life.

Growing up in the middle of Bath, NY has genuinely scarred me, being openly queer as soon as I realized it because the people shouting "faggot" at me were just several years too early. These struggles lead to some very dark moments with mom, when she would lock me outside in snow storms when we would fight, meaning that my only parent isn't someone I can ever be fully open with because I'm afraid it'll happen again if it's ever brought up. This is the first time she's heard this from me, probably only hearing it through the grapevine previously if at all. Unfortunately, that time frame happened to be when I was trying to learn to drive, and then having to wait a few years to be able to get behind the wheel of the new car meant that I'd already resigned myself to being stuck in this town. I'm still living with her because I have no other option. Bath isn't known for being full of queer folks, so the required "partners move in together to be able to afford rent" would be almost impossible, one person showing interest but no compatibility, and no one out of town willing to spend gas money on a sad lil fat-ass faggot in Bath.

I'm excellent at what I do, which is just being a digital media artist in general, but there's nothing anywhere nearby that lets me do that without me starting my own business, and being so broke for my entire life means I cant afford to do that, and I can't afford to move anywhere that would let me persue those talents.

After that music festival fucked me over, everything I knew about myself was thrown out the window. I've realized I'm more than likely not a trans girl, but that just means now I'm unhappy in my own body and have no way to fix it because I'm broke in the middle of nowhere with no way out surrounded by bigoted assholes who still shout "faggot" out of their truck windows when they drive by me walking somewhere.

This is all on top of the knowledge that the world's gonna burn before the rich fucks in charge give up their money, and I'm stuck working dead end jobs that I honestly only like because they've got a few good moments compared to the jobs that don't. I'm literally just getting through every day, beaten down and broken, just to wake up the next morning and do it all over again.

The good moments are there, but theyre so fucking rare that the bad moments outnumber them 10 to 1, and those bad moments have only gotten worse and worse. They're unbearable anymore. I cannot keep going. Then, lets address the whole therapy thing, because what's a therapist going to do? Tell me how to cope with it, but not how to feel better. They'll teach me techniques to just keep going, but when life is genuinely this horrible, why would I want to keep going? Just to keep being beaten down and tormented until eventually the world falls apart or I collapse on the job? I don't want to keep going because it's genuinely not worth it.

When life is this miserable, this consistently, for this long, there's no light at the end of the tunnel. What, another concert to keep me together just long enough to get me to the next concert that I can't afford?

If someone handed me a loaded shotgun and told me "do whatever you want" I would have my mouth around that barrel and the trigger pulled before I could even think about it. The only reason I'm not offing myself right this moment is because I want it to be quick and guaranteed. No slitting my wrists because there's a chance it'll just disable me and I'll survive, and even if I don't it'll take a few moments of pain to get there, and I don't want more pain, I just want it to be over.

And the "stay alive for the people you care about" only makes me feel worse about it, it's not fixing anything but it's adding so much guilt to everything I do. And lets be honest: yall might be sad for a bit, but that sadness isn't nearly as bad as what I feel day to fucking day. I'm broken, beaten and have no way to fix it with no hope, why would I want to go on?

and I'm not sharing this for sympathy. I'm sharing this because no one actually knows how bad it is for me, to the scale I experience this, because no one can listen much further without being upset and having to stop, and that moment where you can just stop is what I'm lacking. There's no end for me.

[sparring-spirals]

alright folks, medium paced and moderately tarnished liveblog time, TLOVM S1, ep 7!

oh percy was that kind of student huh. of course he was. i want to ruffle his lil hair.

wait fuck i should be paying attention, i’ve been vaguely wondering what residuum was ever since beau used it to drug a giant baby (that’s a fun C2 reference for anyone not in the know ;) ;) we were also all very shocked ;) )

yo prof i feel like they should at least have some PPE if you’re gonna be exploding rocks in their hands

fucking hell they’re both so baby. so smol. 

Love that this conversation is (very well done) but also essentially: “so percy.... what the fuck is up with you... and also... what IS that....” *points at gun* Percy: *Source: it came to me in a dream.png*.

me: aw keyleth is doing disney princess things. 5 minutes later: oh nope, thats fire. ... guess that could also be disney princess things.

did vax.. just.. pour ale on a fire to put it out? Does that work? Isn’t that- *torn between google and science experiments*

*whistles through teeth* Veeex........ *sees Vax take Keyleth’s side and Vex’s expression* oH p. oh boy.

Scanlan why would you make a joke about too-close-siblings with the peak of codependent sibling relationships in stabbing range.

knowing what I know about campaign 1 has me... so nervous about this conversation... like i know how this episode is gonna go, but by god the character implications. stop insulting scanlan like that cmon :(

what does it say about me that I heard Sam’s voice say “master” and immediately expected “debater” right after.

I find it so funny that of everyone besides Percy/Vax, Vex seems to be closest to Scanlan so far. Like its good, I like their relationship a lot so far, but also like, damn Vex, you’re that allergic to expressing emotions/affections like a regular person huh. 

this is a cute ditty. im liking scanlan, honestly.

HEY THEY’RE PLAYING THE THING IN THE THING ABOUT THE THING HEY LOOK HEY 

"who made this decison" "... you." "no one ever listen to me again." me the fuck too. i feel it.

aw vex, bonding the best way she knows how: talking about sibling relationships. ... and... scanlan.

Scanlan don’t drop your belongings, don’t you want them back? You don’t want to leave your anal beads do you???

(a moment of silence to reflect on how i got to a point where i’m typing that out)

S C AN BOOOOO

(side note: im having a LOT of fun trying to pick out what the DnD equivalents to things would be)

Groggo.... ragin... nice. VM teamwork. nice. :)

aw man :( not nice :( awww man :(

oh fuck, they end it there?

overall:

- Genuinely enjoyed Scanlan here. Juuuust the right mix of unsure and VERY sure and bravado and panic. Excellent. Also his entire rampage through the house was beautifully paced. excellent.

- hmmmmm. might just be sleep deprivation but some of the dialogue... wasn’t quite landing for me, beyond Scanlan’s bits. Can’t quite put a finger on it- not bad, but.... something. VM felt a little more.... tropey? And I can’t pinpoint why.

- Also I’ll admit it here: knowing about Perc’ahlia makes me maaarginally less invested in their conversations? Similarly with Vaxleth, to an extent. This has less to do with the specific ships and more just.... me, and romantic pairings in shows. I like these ships! And characters! They’re fun, and good, but I might be a lil more *grabby hands* at other dynamics.

- Seeing DnD turn mechanics into animated action sequences is genuinely so neat. I kept thinking about what would be an action, what wouldn’t. And also being mildly concerned they didn’t seem to have a long rest? Did everyone get their spells back? If they rested why didn’t Archie wipe the blood off his mouth? Archie just wipe the blood of your mouth ple ase.

- as always, living for characters just Doing Shit in the background of shots. Its my favorite.

- SCANBOOOOOOOOOO

#im very sleep deprived this one might not be great #critical role #cr spoilers #tlovm #the legend of vox machina #tlovm spoilers #lvm spoilers #full episode liveblog #TO CLARIFY MY BULLET ABOUT SHIPS before anyone gets too heated: i like em! but the way relationships tend to be portrayed in shows #Dont usually draw me in as effectively as the non romantic relationships and im getting the feeling that MIGHT hold true here too. #i think its mostly a medium translation thing- its hard to do due diligence/more nuanced relationship building + balance it with other rels #in a show vs a 4 hr episode #anyway ill get off my soapbox and maybe delete these tags once ive had more sleep #but WOOOOOO SCANLANNNNNNN #cr liveblogging

[gerrydelano]

I wonder if some of the georgie hate (without wanting to downplay the v real biphobia/racism/misogyny thrown at her!!) is just people lacking real life experience on relationships who want a Good Reason for her and jon to have broken up and grown apart when thats not how real life works + you're allowed more than one good relationship in your life actually

oh no this is absolutely also a huge part of it imo, like. it's been said on here plenty but my friends and i talk fairly often about how fanfic/fandom spaces in general really have done some actual damage to how people conceptualize relationships, sex, romance, even family dynamics, because the same shallow tropes get regurgitated 500 times and become the norm in some folks’ brains & idealizing that can actually, genuinely hinder some of the growth we need to be fostering through real life practical experience. internet culture in general has just done damage to that conversation and the words we use to describe and discount things, the way we judge our own experiences, the expectations we have of other people and of what is reasonable to ask of them.

i cannot Stand it when people idealize the whole “one true love” thing to the point of diminishing, dismissing or outright destroying other relationships in the characters’ history or centering their whole life around that one person? just like i kind of hate it when people ship high schoolers in the way of “and then they never date anyone else ever and they get married and have a family and grow old together<3″ like. okay! sometimes that happens, but it’s rare? by in large, people should get to know who they are outside of a relationship, and in relationships with more than one person over time to figure out what they even want out of a relationship, what their needs are, what happens when those needs aren’t met, their limits and values and desires for the future, their boundaries, the things that make them happiest and the things they never want to put up with again.

yeah, some people don’t date until their 20s! some people only have one or two relationships all their life. but if you’re allergic to the concept of anyone having any kind of dating history at All because you think they should only ever care about their endgame partner/their endgame partner should be the only one who’s ever loved them, that’s when i start to raise my eyebrows a little bit. 

i promise you that sometimes people just... like other people. sometimes they give it a shot. sometimes it doesn’t work. sometimes there doesn’t have to be a big, awful, abusive or tragic reason for it ending. sometimes you’re just not feeling it anymore! that doesn’t make someone a bad person. what’s shitty is devaluing someone’s love because they’ve loved other people before. what’s shitty is insisting there always needs to be a villain when sometimes people are just incompatible, or they become incompatible as they change and grow, and that’s literally just life. it’s fine. it happens.

idk. i agree with you! people like to project and we all do it but can we perhaps not do it in a genuinely bigoted or otherwise reductive way thank you xoxo

#fandom critical #i guess jhgbkn just. so i can find this again ig. #ronologues #a little tiny one #anon #asks

[thepoodlepack]

What's wrong with goldenpoodles? I'm genuinely curious because almost all of my dogs are mixed breeds and behave fine. So I'm curious if there's something else I'm missing

jeez this feels like bait but u kno what, you got me

alright, so it goes like this. the doodle really began with a guy in australia being like i need the temperament of a lab for a guide dog but these ppl are allergic to dogs, so i need a poodle bc they have hair, not fur. so he bred em together. years later he’s like damn that was a mistake.

now, why, exactly? alright so first of all he only needed that mix bc labs on average tend to adapt better to situations that are largely exclusive to service dog work than poodles do. i can go into what this means at a later date, but that’s basically how it is. but either way, people jumped on this creation and it kinda spiraled out of control. soon, poodles were being bred by everyone and every breed. suddenly, they were a marketing scam more then they were a dog breed.

oh theyre hypoallergenic! all of them, all the time cause zero allergies! look theyre so much better than poodles! theyre friendly and easy to train, not like poodles of course, just like labs! they’re better than labs bc none of them shed, ever! they’re super healthy bc breeding labs and poodles together wipes out all their health problems, of course!

lies, lies lies. the aussie guy, whose name i’m not going to look up bc i’m lazy but who you can find if you google creator of doodles, straight up says that even the first litter(s) of labradoodles he bred had puppies that the people he bred them for were allergic to. he very carefully tested the litter and the reaction the person had before placing a puppy that was not going to hurt them.

think of the punnet squares we all learned about in 5th grade science class. you draw the squares and one parent has two fur genes and the other parent has two hair genes and what do you get? well if you have four puppies, one might have hairhair and the next one might have hairfur and the next one might have furhair and the next one might have furfur. and so guess what? only hairhair pup is going to be the best choice for allergic people. additionally, you can see why the non-shedding thing can be bullshit, and that in particular is also a guessing game. you may be able to test allergy sufferers against the pups, but that does not necessarily mean they won’t shed. hairfur, for example, may be a good choice for some allergic people, but perhaps they’ve got just enough fur to shed anyway. also, lets look at salukis (and frankly, most long-haired sighthounds). salukis are still considered dogs with fur, not hair. they also still shed, even though it’s just a little. and yet they’re still considered good for allergy sufferers.

(ps poodles do actually shed. but they shed like humans shed. your hair comes out, doesn’t it? like, esp folks with long hair, aren’t people always complaining how you clog the shower drain? yeah, like that. ALSO obviously the situation is more complicated then super simple punnet squares and as an ex-groomer i have something to say about doodle coats but i’m going to save that for later, put a pin in it.)

oh and wait a hot minute there. i said best choice, didn’t i, not hypoallergenic. well, that’s because no dog is hypoallergenic. poodles, and a few other dog breeds, they have hair, like we do. but the thing is both humans and breeds with hair still produce the dander, though they’re different kinds. breeds with hair happen to produce the least amount possible that dogs can produce, which is why they’re a better choice for allergy sufferers, but that’s still not a guarantee. my roommate Dakota is allergic to dogs. if i don’t wash my dogs for an extended period of time (which has never happened, ever, in my life, idk what ur talking about), thus giving the chance for the dander my dogs still produce, he will have a very, very mild reaction when touching them. it can be countered by him washing his hands after touching them and also me just giving them a fucking bath, i need to stop forgetting, but still, there you go. ALSO people might not be allergic to dogs bc of their dander. they might be allergic to the saliva of dogs, which poodles or any other breed with hair still produces about the same as other dogs. so, yeah, not hypoallergenic, not at all.

the people who taut their hypoallergenic dogs for sale largely don’t do the testing required to check if they’re actually providing a dog to someone who won’t react to it. not acceptable at all.

so, labs are friendly and easy to train right? not at all like poodles, right? no. absolutely incorrect. some labs are friendly and easy to train. some labs, a lot of them when they’re puppies, are nightmare fuel. personally, i have a theory that everyone’s vision of labs in their heads are either a) service dogs or b) those old labs who are slightly pudgy (or morbidly obsess, which is a different topic) and who are graying in the face and just want to lounge around because they’re seniors now. alright, so here’s why thats bad. labs are a working breed. a retrieving breed. they’re supposed to be bulky and strong and driven. service dogs are highly trained, to a point that most pet dogs will never see, and if you see them with their actual disabled handler, they’ll probably be around 2.5 yrs of age and out of their most wild days. old labs are well. old. sleepy. maybe a bit achey. and well out of their most wild days. oh, and it’s the same type of thing with goldens by the way, the other most popular doodle type. poodles are also easy to train, especially if their parents have a decent temperament. they’re all about equal if you actually start training them when they’re puppies and just pay for some training classes, like everyone should. in the puppy classes i’m in right now, Euphoria is leaps and bounds ahead of doodles, goldens, and labs that are her age or older. I train her properly and she’s got amazing parents. that’s it, that’s the trick. not breed, not necessarily, and def not in this case.

I am once again going to say that labs and goldens are more often used as service dogs than poodles because of their adaptability, but it’s the ability to adapt to situations that most pet dogs will never have to worry about.

jeez this is a long post. i’ve still got more to cover too. alright, on to super healthy, or “hybrid vigor” as the nerds call it. uhh, it’s bullshit. thank u for ur time.

okay, but actually why on gods green earth would breeding two completely different breeds with little to no research make them super healthy? now i want to preface this with i’m (generally) pro-outcross projects. Euphoria’s dad is half mini poodle and half standard poodle, which isn’t technically an outcross bc all the variations are of the same breed, but if we’re going by genetic diversity alone minis and standards are different enough to actually be different breeds.

so, to be clear, outcrosses, given the proper thought and planning: good, results in healthier dogs (see: lua dals). randomly breeding two very different breeds together with no planning other than to sell the puppies to randos who won’t continue the outcross: bad. especially when you’re doing it to cash in and don’t health test at all, or don’t health test the major health problems with both breeds (if you’re doing an f2 breeding or anything like that). no the poodle’s health problems don’t get canceled out by the goldens or labs or whatever the other party’s health problems are, and vice versa. and yeah, i’ve looked at a lot of doodle breeder’s websites and yeah, most of them don’t health test at all, or at least don’t health test properly. do you know i own one doodle and currently live with another? yeah, i got them both from breeders and do you know how much health testing their parents got? if your answer is none, good job, you’ve been paying attention. in my defense, i was like 13, i didn’t know what i was doing.

alright, so those are the big points. this is kinda gonna be just... a mix of my other complaints. here we go, hope you’re ready for more. argument the first: i feel like it’s pretty disrespectful to reputable breeders. now, i actually have two reasons why that is. reason one: most reputable poodle breeders don’t want their breeding stock bred with other breeds, for various reasons. i’ve even met a few who used to be okay with it and then as the doodle scam got bigger and more out of control, they stopped being okay with it, even to the breeders who they had been fine with it in the past. that means a lot of doodle breeders out there have their breeding stock because they scammed poodle breeders into giving them pet quality, not breeding quality, dogs or because they’re getting their stock from non-reputable breeders. i also feel it’s disrespectful to breeders who are actually trying to create new breeds. quite frankly, a breed with the size, strength, and adaptability of a lab or golden that doesn’t shed and that has the train-ability of a poodle, lab, or golden sounds pretty interesting to me. did you know you can actually make that breed? and it wouldn’t be a cross with unpredictable... well, everything. it would actually be a true dog breed.

Look at Silken Windhounds and Biewer Terriers who began both development in the 1980s. Biewer Terriers were recognized by the AKC this year, and Silken Windhounds still haven’t been. And yeah, that’s the problem isn’t it? Making a real new breed takes a lot of time, planning, and care. People would rather just cash in. I think it’s sad and I think it’s disrespectful to the breeders who do work so hard to make actual new breeds.

and finally, unpin being an ex-groomer goddamnit. guess what? doodles are awful to groom! they’re terrible on the grooming tables because people want to have in both ways: they want a dog that doesnt shed at all and they want a dog who doesn’t need to be groomed. well guess what, that dog doesn’t exist and you can have it only one way. and also, bring back the goddamn punnet squares because a lot of doodles have awful coats. if you have hairfur and furhair over there, guess what, their coat fucking sucks bc it’s not meant to be like that. it wants to mat bc hair but also it wants the mats to slide out bc short-ish fur but its too thick for the mats to slide out bc thick hair. and yes its more complicated then this and that means its often more awful then this. its awful, it makes me want to cry. and maybe it’s slightly easier to get away with it with a shorthaired dog like a lab, or, you know what, even a golden, okay, even a slightly long haired dog like a golden but people are doodling akitas? border collies? bernese fucking mountain dogs? i am crying. i am crying right now as i type this.

lets do a sum up to this disaster of a post. look, i don’t go out there attacking or yelling at every doodle or every doodle owner i see, alright? or any of them really. i might engage in conversation to one that’s interested, but that’s it. i love my doodly Isis, okay? shes tiny and she’s adorable and I love her more than life and i will never, ever get another doodle. i don’t like the way they’ve gotten so prolific, i don’t like the reasons they’re now widespread, and i don’t like almost all of the people that create them, including the ones i’ve literally given my (parents) money to in the past. i wish they were better but i just cannot approve of them, especially not in the environment they exist in now. that said, i do support them in their original use case as assistance dogs, and i do not care about them if they’re shelter dogs.

#long post #anti doodle #text #my post #yes this took me like an hour #yes i do hate myself for it #Anonymous #oh anon im being grumpy mostly for comedy thats only funny to me #you're fine as long as you werent trying to bait me

[kiss4kazu]

Hi! could I request some headcanons for what kissing Ashe and Dimitri (Felix too if thats not too much if not its fine) would be like for the first time?

☆ first time kisses with ashe, dimitri, felix 

↳ ashe babie boy 

although ashe is really innocent and pure i think he’s easily one of the most romantic in blue lions and would really go above and beyond always for the person he loves. 

i know a lot of people probably see ashe as someone being too reluctant and nervous to actually ever make a move first but i think if he really liked someone, he’d be extremely obvious about it, blushing like crazy, a stuttering mess, etc and after enough pep talks from sylvain he’d finally make a move to ask u out on a date and it would be an absolute wreck.

would literally put together something so fckin cheesy n corny but in the most adorably ashe way that it makes you want to punch him from being so precious

like a cute picnic or something by a lake and he’d make cute little cakes with some help from annette and it would just be so pure. 

he’d rehearse how he’s going to confess in his head like a million times but when the moment actually comes it ends up just being a jumbled up mess filled with “ums” and he’d try to stick to the script him and sylvain came up with and get out a “y-you’re r-really… u-uh… p-pretty..” but then he’d fuck it all up by saying something weird n dorky like “a-and you s-smell really nice… w-wait that’s weird i’m sorry-” and you’d just hold back ur laughter, ur heart swelling with so so much affection for him. 

ofc he’d ask for permission to kiss you, cheeks crimson and his eyes looking up at yours like tht one starry eyed emoji. you’d give him a vocal response, since he rly needs that reassurance. no stutters just “of course ashe” and he’d smile so so big and then just swoop down totally uncoordinated. 

would probs miss your lips and have to readjust. 

kissing ashe for the first time would be … messy. he’s not experienced at all, and doesn’t know what to do with his hands and he’d honestly be a dead fish for a good few moments. but as you ease him more into the kiss, he’d loosen up a bit, tilt his head and just stop overthinking. his lips would be really warm and would taste so sweet from the cake and he’d smile so hard into the kiss that your teeth end up bumping into each other and you’d pull away laughing

ashe kisses are the best honestly the butterflies fireworks the whole shebang yknow. 

as he gets more confident he’d probably try out a few things he’s seen in books like slipping his tongue in and would be completely taken aback by just how nice it feels. would probably whine into the kiss, cradle your face in his hands, and once you guys pull apart for some air he’d just breathe heavily against your lips with the dopiest smile on his face :( <3 

he’d be rly slap happy after kissing you for the first time and would probably tackle u onto the picnic blanket laughing from happiness kissing your face everywhere and showering you in compliments, shoving his face into ur neck and just breathing in ur scent. 

he’s very clingy ok. 

↳ dimi !!

whew. ok so we’re gonna do academy phase dimi since feral dimi is uh… probs not sfw & violent skjdfjslkjfd  

academy phase dimi knows NOTHING about kissing n he has 0 experience so it takes him forever n a day to finally get the balls to kiss u and when he does … whew. 

i can imagine kissing dimi to be during like , a deep convo or something late at night, when he’s having trouble sleeping or something and ur just running ur fingers through his hair, listening to him as he vents and admiring the sound of his voice bc he’s always more talkative at the dead of night when he’s sleep deprived. 

he’d just look at u so so lovingly and it would be suffocating and ur just staring at his lips but u know ur probs way in over ur head bc uh he’s the future king of faerghus 

but then he’d ask for permission too like ashe tbh bc he’s just polite like tht and has too good mannerisms 

plus he cares a lot about your comfort and would never want to make u feel unsafe or uncomfy especially by his doing

and you would nod with quickness n he’d waste not a second to connect ur lips 

kissing dimi is like a trance tbh, type of kiss that feels like something in u is short-circuiting 

literally the type of kiss that makes ur knees buckle u know the ones. 

he’s a rly rly good kisser n it makes no sense bc he’s literally never kissed anyone before in his life n it kind of makes u mad bc why is he perfect 

a rly rly passionate kisser and he can be kind of rougher than he intends to bc he’s not good with fragile things 

clearly v dominant in the kiss, one hand with an iron grip on ur hip the other tangled up behind ur neck, gripping ur hair. after a while gets reluctant and starts to overthink things and pulls away apologizing for being too rough

you’d probs have to reassure him a million times tht its okay dimi ur not hurting me!! 

he’s rly touch starved tbh so he always tends to take pecks into full-blown makeout sessions or when he intends to just kiss ur forehead he ends up kissing ur cheeks too, ur jaw, down ur neck just riling himself up tbh and then he finally  looks up at u with his eyes all dark n ur just like … here we go

did i mention he groans a lot during kisses bc he does 

dimi’s other sides shining through when his emotions overwhelm him is just .. dimitri 101. 

he’s rough, seemingly an expert at this shit, his tongue shoving past your lips and completely taking u off guard. he’d literally kiss you so hard your head would spin and he’d do it all with a blush on his face bc he’s still a shy babie.  as soon as the moment is over he’s back to stuttering n being all awkward boyish prince. 

he’s also the type to shower u in compliments between kisses.

kisses lips “you’re so gorgeous” smooches neck “so amazing” kisses jaw “goddess i love you” 

im scream crying

↳ felix too bc WHY NOT ! i love him 

listen. 

this little fucker kisses the life out of people u heard it here first folks. 

he’s 100% a heat of the moment type of kisser. it could go two ways tbh. like if you got hurt or something on his behalf he’d scream at you with glossy eyes for a good 5 minutes and then just stare at you all >:( and then he’d just grab you and  kiss the fuck out of you.

probably the most passionate kisser out of the three, he kisses to the point where u can’t feel ur toes and stuff he’d just completely indulge without any fucks given bc he almost lost you and he’s not good with explaining his emotions so hopefully this helps you understand. 

the other way i can see a first kiss going down with felix is more.. vulnerable, despite his hard exterior. he is rough and mean but it’s not bc he’s genuinely a bad person he just has walls built up so high tht its impossible for anyone to rly climb over 

to get a kiss from lix, u definitely have to have climbed over tht wall of his, or just fly a wrecking ball through it n send it crumbling to the ground

you’re literally the only exception, the only person who can rly get through to him 

he’d probably turn to you for comfort a lot, when dimitri agitates him with memories of glenn or his dad says something that ticks him off and he wants to punch something he’d just go to you instead, knock on ur door and just waltz in like he owns the place, sitting down on ur bed and u would know he wants cuddles bc this is how felix communicates 

if he had to actually say “i want cuddles” out loud he’d probably shoot himself in the foot with an arrow so he’s glad u understand, u always understand him just by looking at him n it’s reassuring bc he’s never been good with words.

its kind of cringe to him that he likes being held but shocker he likes being held 

he also rly rly likes it when u play with his hair he’s like a cat he will literally start nuzzling into you, so warm and pliant to your touch

ok im getting distracted back to the kissing shit

felix would probably just be rly overwhelmed with emotions n he doesn’t rly know how to tell u “i like u” so he just says “im going to kiss you.” like a literal statement n then he does it n ur just like o-o bc wtf. 

if ur not responsive at first he’d just pull away after a while and wouldn’t meet eyes with u and be all blushy. 

would let out a tch like the little shit that he is, and u have to turn his face so he’s properly looking at u again and meeting eyes with u 

he looks so vulnerable and stupidly gorgeous so u kiss him this time so he knows the feeling is mutual and it’d take him a min to really gather whats happening but once he does he’d literally. suck. the. life. out. of. your. face. period. 

felix kisses r rough n messy n just completely self-indulgent and he groans shamelessly when u pull his hair tie out from his bun and tug at his hair yes i have a thing for felix’s hair leave me alone.

gives 0 fucks would literally shove his tongue down your throat pull you flush against him and he always calls sylvain insatiable but rly its this fucker who’s insatiable he is literally eating your face. 

you’d have to pull him away from you and he’d just pant so hard against your lips and look at you like he wants to devour you and its kind of overwhelming bc he’s fucking hot !!!!! 

would shove his face into ur neck and mumble out an “i like you”  and u would tease him n be like “what did you say i cant hear u?” and he’d elbow u in the ribs  and groan into ur neck and u would laugh n kiss his head, telling him u like him too

at tht he’d lift his head up, his hair falling over his amber eyes and u would just push the strands away from his face and kiss him softly one last time before going back 2 ur conversation about punching sylvain’s face or sumn

anyway i love felix thanks 4 coming to my ted talk. 

requests are open! <3

- vivi ★

#fe3h #fe3h imagines #fe3h requests #fe3h headcanons #dimitri x reader #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #felix fraldarius #felix x reader #ashe ubert #ashe x reader #ashe duran #blue lions

[energyanon]

ITS TIME FOR:

THE SEBASTIAN STAN MEGAMIX:

Don’t you dare go through the rest of the reading without getting yourself hyped with the link first cause I spent OVER TWO HOURS ON THIS READING AND YOU WILL DO WHAT I ASK DAMMIT.

* https://youtu.be/nendMLrpI-s*

ALSO: no one kill me, there is a very unpopular opinion that unfolded. I just feel the energy, don’t avada kadavra the messenger. It’s not my fault if it doesn’t match your ideal, man.

I’ve put Seb down first - just on his own.

I know I’ve said he seems like a sad bitch, and this might be because it was his birthday like.. what yesterday? And maybe I’m in his current energy (I’ll check on a different timeline) but…

Fans are gonna say it’s fake - he’s happy.

He’s really content. He’s swaying a bit which is why I feel like there’s like a tiny bit of drunk-ness hence why I feel like I’m in his CURRENT energy, but there’s 0 fault. He is so peaceful and happy and content. There’s nothing else to it.

So I closed that off, switched him over to “2021 energy” just to see how he’s been going for the most part rather than right now. And there was an immediate change, specifically to the middle of my head, a sort of pressure there. Heavy eyes, not as happy and starting to get hot. Specifically in shoulders and arms and hands. Hands is usually anxiety, shoulders and arms… I don’t usually get. The happiness is there but the smiles are fleeting. Otherwise it’s not sad it’s just… floating through, getting by. Pressure in my head is getting worse though and now my back is itchy. With energy letting me know that, I can only assume there needs to be a placement of something behind him.

Ok, placement behind him whatever it is, is DRAGGING him down. Mood changed entirely. And he’s being pulled BACK to this thing almost like he wants to fall into it. He’s really focused on in front of him, not quite scared, but eyes wide. Panicked. He does NOT want to look behind him.

The feeling now is.. almost a depression; tired. And he’s looking on the ground now. That almost always means that he’s looking at someone who has died.

Guys? Any death around him recently??

YOOO OK THATS FUCKED AS SOON AS I WROTE THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING IN MY ROOM THAT MOVED ITSELF WITH A GIANT CLANK 👀 I AM NOT DOING A SEANCE TONIGHT FOLKS I AM OUTTIE.

CLOSING THAT ONE OFF REAL FUCKING FAST JOLY SHIT. Gimme a sec to get whatever the fuck that is outta here.

Ok no that’s a lie. Why does it feel like Grandparent Stan.

Guys, has one of the grandparent Stan’s died? It’s not a bad energy, but to him it feels like depression. I’m taking a moment just to speak to them cause they clearly wanted my attention. I tried to end it there cause I don’t fuck with spirits, but as soon as I tried to close my apps it said “no” really sweetly, so…

Ok so I just spent about half an hour doing a mini constellation for them. When it comes to grief and also the ~spirit~ letting itself be known I knew they were gonna stay around until I helped. It was pretty personal, but I got them through it. Felt a lot like a grandma from one of the sides I’m not sure who. Gave me some very cute images of her and little Seb playing in a park and cooking 🥺 Seb cried alot, but was also VERY happy to see her. They said their bits, he knows she’s a support. She’s agreed to be there for the rest of the reading however he needs her. They’re currently holding hands in letting him keep her there.

Let’s move on.

Didnt think I would cry in this one but here I am.

Ok I’ve got him in his previous position, Grandma?Stan is behind him, we’re moving on.

He feels A lot better now that the grief has been sorted through. Feels fresh.

Career/fans came up in that mini constellation so I will put that down next.

The only thing he brought up about the fans was he feels like they’re ripping him apart. He feels like everyone wants a piece of him and he can’t give them that.

I put career down. Career is in front of him facing him to his left. The fans, surprise surprise, wanted to be right on top of him. And he is CHOKING with that being the case. Throat clamping up, airways are BLOCKED. I’m moving them off.

Even then, the fans are too close, Seb has taken two steps back.

Even then they’re still too close. He’s moved to behind career, so career is blocking the view of him and the fans.

Here in this position he’s standing like a statue, he feels like he’s successfully hidden and it’s here he’s gonna stay.

Moving to career:

Career is super confused at where he went and also feels like fans are a bit close. also feels like it is better than the fans. Kind of giving them a look of disgust. Career seems to understand that the fans are gonna be stuck close to them but they think of them a bit like they’re looking at something a bit dirty.. like career doesn’t want to get their hands on them. Career wants to turn to Seb.

Career is bigger than Seb by quite a bit. Not as overbearing as Chris’s career was though, and seems to be on good terms with him. It doesn’t have any feelings of animosity towards Seb, it’s just looking at him like “you good?” And then looking back at the fans and being like “cause of THEM? Really? Lol ok”

But career feels fine to block him off from fans, that’s ok it doesn’t mind. Career doesn’t want Seb to take his eyes off it though. Eyes on career. Keep your eyes on career.

Don’t look anywhere else. Eyes on career.

Back to Seb:

Seb agrees, eyes on career. He’s very obedient to that.

There’s nothing else for me to do with these two so I went to see if he wanted to look past career at fans. He didn’t. Eyes on career.

(What have you guys done to him, i followed him back in CA:WS and he wasn’t like this at ALL. Damn guys.)

I went back to fans and they just kept making the same movement, they wanted to be on top of him. Close wasn’t close enough. I’m not moving them back there though cause then it will just go in circles and we want MOVEMENT.

I’m leaving fans there.

I am adding GF

Ale? Is that what people call her?

Ale has placed herself behind career. She is currently fully in the fans view, but she’s facing career and seb, career has back to her, seb is facing her way.

She seems to know that career is most important and she’s ok with that. She’s kind of expectantly trying to get his attention though. Like the feeling of waiting for someone to get off work and waiting for them at the door. She’s just waiting. She looks at fans like they’re beneath her though. Doesn’t like them. Not dislike, but they’re beneath her, she doesn’t need to interact.

No other movement from her besides the fact that she wants seb to move over to her so he can be by her side.

I went to the fans and they’re just all BORING their eyes into her. No need to even look at seb it’s ALE. No movement from them otherwise.

Moving back to seb:

Eyes on career. Eyes on career, except ale is more interesting now and he wants to shuffle over her way, but also career? But also ale.

He doesn’t want to go the obvious way, he kind of wants to sneak past career.

I’m gonna sneak him past career.

He’s doing it sheepishly and very slowly. Like a little boy shuffle.

Ok seb is now in front of ale, career is behind him, backs faced to each other.

Ale is taller to him. (Usually means he thinks highly of her OR that she’s in a more powerful position in the relationship but it doesn’t feel like that he’s acting like a simp)

So weird this is such simp behaviour, I moved ale back a little cause they were practically on top of each other but he was like “noooooo” and moved himself closer again.

Like dude you’re practically breathing in her organs. Chill.

It’s weird though Hes not feeling like He wants to cuddle her or be anything other than just close to her. He seems to be completely mesmerised by her. Short breaths though, he’s not relaxed. But he cannot take his eyes off her.

Moving to Ale:

She doesn’t really take her eyes off him either but she’s much more easily distracted.

She’s very fond of him though. She feels very content. She likes him, she’s happy there.

No more movement from either of them so let’s ask questions.

I asked both parties if they loved each other. Ale said yes, seb said I don’t know.

It’s also not “I don’t know” in a 😬 way it’s.. a curious and nice “I don’t know” kind of like.. “I’ve never felt like THIS before.. is THIS love?”

He does feel a bit blocked though, like he’s not admitting to himself 100% but it’s so bizzare his feelings and his words aren’t matching up cause I feel so fond of this woman so why is he saying I DONT KNOW?!

Ok I see the problem now. I just said one word:

Q:

Marriage? Ale said “yes please :)”

And sebs immediate reaction was 😳 😬

Ya boy. Has commitment issues. He’s making sense now. I swear to god if he has Gemini in his chart.. I swear.

Q: ale, why did you get with seb?

He seemed nice 😊 (also an image of a yacht on the water popped up?)

Q: do you have pure intentions towards him

She… didn’t know how to answer that, it was a very hesitant yes.

Q: are you with him for the money?

The answer was a pretty clear yes but she tried to cover her tracks with “it’s nice 😊”

Q: If Sebastian lost everything would you still love him?

No hesitation it was still yes.

So what I’m getting here is she does like the money, she does like him, money is a main factor but… she genuinely likes him I don’t know what to tell you guys.

Q: seb do you like ale?

Yes

Q: why did you start dating her?

She’s hot! (He laughed at that) and then said she’s funny, she’s cute, she’s sweet… great body

Q: do you think you’ll spend your life with her?

Same reaction as the marriage question it was a very hesitant “I’m not sureeeeee….”

The energy is drifting a bit now so I’m ending it here:

Q: is there anything else you want to say.

I wish they would leave her alone

Q: do you want them to leave you alone?

No, I can handle it. They can do what they want, I just want them to leave her alone.

That’s it!

That’s all I got.

I didn’t get any bad vibes from Ale at all.

She seems to like him. I don’t know why everyone is so mad?

Seb also seems to like her. I’d be surprised if he doesn’t have Gemini in the big three or Venus, cause that’s exactly like me, ive got Leo Venus, cancer sun that makes me all lovey physically but in my gemini moon and merc make my head like MMmmmMmmMmM BUT DO I ACTUALLY LIKE THEM THOUGH? Haha.

Someone look up his chart for me pls.

Edit: I did just realise I didn’t even ask if it was PR. Sorry, my bad. Assess the above how you will.

That also didn’t go how I thought it would at all. I know you guys thought he was super sad and making all the wrong decisions, but he really only seemed dragged down from something else entirely. That being said I didn’t add the agency you guys warned me about but it also didn’t pop up at all. Maybe in the next one. I did make a couple of mistakes here in terms of probably not asking the right things that will make the entire situation clearer. Sorry guys when I’m in it I’m only thinking of what pops up and going where the energy leads me. 😶

Peace ✌🏼

#ss #reading

[yandere-ac]

Tom Nook X Reader

Fireworks

Alone.

10 pm on a Sunday and Tom was sitting alone in the residential services, typing away on his computer, trying to ignore all the sounds outside. The sounds of everyone running around, the sounds of people having fun, the sounds of fireworks going off. But most importantly, the sound of him. It’s been years and nothing has changed with him. He was screaming at the top of his lungs, trying to attract customers to his little raffle. Tom knee he was out there, that’s why he simply couldn’t go. The simple muffled sound of him shouting was enough to make his heart stop. “Come one! Come all! Step right up to redds raffle! For the small fee of 500 bells you’ll be guaranteed to win one of these fine prices! That’s right folks! You’ll never know what you’ll get but you are guaranteed to win!!!”

Huh. You’ll never know what you’ll get. Thats funny. That’s sort of how Redd and Toms relationship used to be. Tom however, did not get a guaranteed win. No, he got scammed out of 500 000 bells and was left in a ditch to rot away and die. He never thought Redd would be able to do something like that to him. Tom thought that he was different to Redd, that he actually cared for him. But Redd proved him wrong that night. He proved that Tom was no different than all the other fools that Redd tricked on a day to day basis. Because that’s what he was to Redd, he was just another one of his pawns in his big game of chess. He meant nothing to Redd and was easily disposable. And here he was, just outside his window, trying to make quick money off of his fellow islanders. And Tom was letting it happen. Because he was too much of a coward to go and do something.

Phyyyuuuuuuuu....

BOOM!!!

Another firework went off. Tom could see the ground light up from outside his window. Oh how he wished he could be outside. But he knew he wasn’t strong enough to face Redd. He never wanted to see him again, and he hadn’t planned on doing so. And he would do anything to avoid seeing his past partner.

Plingelingeling

The soft sound of the little bell that was attached to the door dragged Tom out of his thoughts. Someone had entered. And that someone was you. You were laughing and were holding a balloon. At least someone was having fun out there. You made eye contact with him and smiled, running up to him. You had a star bopper on, probably something that Isabelle gave to you. You looked very cute in it.

“Hi Tom!” You said as you sat down in the chair on the other side of his desk. “Why hello hello Y/N! Having fun out there I hope?” He said, giving you a genuine smile. “Yeah! It’s been awesome! The fireworks are really pretty and we’ve all had very fun! The boys are really happy as well! They’ve been running around for hours now! It’s really cute!” You said, very enthusiastic about the whole ordeal. Tom has asked you to take the kids with you to the festival. They both had been cooped up in the store for too long and deserved a break. And there was no one he trusted more than you. “But....I think they would enjoy it more of you were out there with them...” oh boy. So you would pull this card huh. He let out a slight sigh. “Yes, I would also enjoy it...but I can’t Y/N...you know that...” as he said this he felt two soft hands grab his paws. “Is this about Redd?” You asked, and just hearing someone else say that bastards name made him tense up and made his eyes widen. “...I take that as a yes...come on Tom! Who cares what that guy thinks! He’s a sad man who’s only enjoyment in life comes from watching other suffer! He’s not worth your time!” Tom knew Redd wasn’t worth his time, yet it didn’t exactly make it any better. Just stating the obvious isn’t going to help his case.

“...I’m sorry...look, how about we go to a secluded spot, far away from the plaza. Do you think Redd will leave his precious money making station to go after you? Trust me, you need to get out of the residential services. You won’t have to see Redd okay? I promise!” Once you said this, you took one of your hands and cupped his cheek. Tom responded by closing his eyes and leaning into the touch. How bad could it be. If he would just ignore Redd and get away as soon as possible, things might work out. And so, he took one of his paws and pressed it on the hand that was cupping your cheek. “Alright then”

Walking out from the building, Tom and you were holding hands. Tom could see all of the islands inhabitants running around, clapping or cheering. Some were sitting on the ground, others were standing up. And he could see one islander sitting on another shoulders as they ran past him and Y/N. “Oh hello Mr Nook!” The one on top shouted as they passed the two. The loud announcement of the name made a certain fox turn his head to see if what he heard was really true. And once he made eye contact with Tom and gave him a wide smirk, Tom knew it was game over.

“Well well well. If it’s isn’t Tom Nook himself. I’ll be honest, I thought you died or something nookie, but here you are! Nice of you to visit your good ol pal Redd!” Toms ears fell done on his head. All of a sudden he could feel memories of Redd and him wash over him. But not the good memories, no, rather the memories he wished he could lock in a box and throw into the ocean. Redd walked closer to the two and Tom tried to regain his posture. “Hello Redd. How are you doing this evening?” Tom looked at the fox. He was wearing completely different clothes than his usual “only an apron” style. He hated to admit, but he like the foxes outfit. Should he say something? “You look nice. I like the new clothes.” Tom didnt want to give the fox any sort of encouragement In any way shape or form but he hoped that the compliment would at least soften Redd up in the slightest. He refused to look into the foxes eyes. “Pff, thanks! I wish I could say the same for you.” this made Tom freeze for a few seconds, that’s was, until he felt you squeeze his hand. Slowly stroking it with your thumb. Once he looked into your eyes and saw nothing but support, he felt better. “Uncle Tom!!!” The tension was interrupted by the sound of two younger voices accompanied by the small pit pats of four small paws running against the ground. Tom could see Timmy and Tommy running up towards him. Both of the boys jumped into his arms and he managed to catch both of them swiftly. He felt a pair of small arms wrap around his neck. Tommy was giving him a hug and Timmy was enthusiastically explaining what they had done this evening.

“It was so cool!!! You should have seen it! Y/N made custom fireworks with us! I made a dinosaur and Tommy made a jellyfish!!! And then- then Y/N made their custom firework look like me and Tommy!!! It was so pretty!!! And then aunt Isabelle gave us these boppers! Look, look!” The two brothers were indeed wearing two boppers. Timmy was wearing a flower bopper and Tommy was wearing a heart bopper. Tom chuckled slightly at their frenetic nature. It was obvious the two was running on sugar and adrenaline at the moment. He was certain that the two small tanookis were gonna have a tummy ache the next day. He could hear the faintest sounds of a little bell coming towards them. He turned to see that, yup, Isabelle was coming towards them all.

“Oh! Tom! Great to see you out here! I’ll be honest, I felt a little guilty leaving you alone while I got to be out here” Isabelle said, huffing slightly as she talked to him. “Oh yes. I finished all my paper work you see.” That was a lie, however, only three people knew it was a lie. “Oh yeah I’m sure you had so much paperwork huh?” Redd said, inserting himself into the conversation. This is when you started to lose patience. “Why don’t you shut your trap Redd!” Redd was a bit taken back by this. You always acted so quiet when you bought art of off him so to see you be so audible was strange to be sure. “Oh I’m sorry? Where you involved Y/N? What are you gonna?” Redd said, irritation plaiting his voice. “I would love to tell you what I would do but there are children present you selfish-“ “enough! Y/N, you said it yourself. He’s not worth it. Just let it go.” Tom told you, stroking your shoulder in an attempt at calming your nerves. You looked into his eyes, and in one fell swoop, you picked up the two brother that were now standing besides him. The two of them let out screams of delight and laughter as you started to run off. “Come on! Follow me!!!”

Isabelle and Tom were trailing behind you. How were you so fast when you were carrying TWO children!? Just like always. You never cease to amaze. You finally stopped at the highest hill on the island. There grew a single tree full of the islands native fruit. You put down Timmy and Tommy who were still giggling like crazy. You sat down besides the two boys and leaned up against the tree. Soon Tom and Isabelle caught up with you, both extremely out of breath once they got there. “What in the world was that for?” Isabelle asked as she looked at you. “I felt like we needed a change of scenery. Tom needs to see the fireworks! And I thought, what better place then the hill! And so, I grabbed the kids and ran here!” As you said this, you scooted over, patted the place next to you. Tom sat down next to you and Isabelle sat next to the boys. And for the first time, Tom could actually focus on the sky. It was beautiful. Absolutely stunning even! The sky was filled to the brim with colours after colours. Exploding like big balls of flames. It took his breath away. Even Isabelle seemed amazed. She had seen the fireworks sure, but from up here, they were even clearer! All five of them just watched the fireworks in silence for 15 minutes straight. It was only when the three adults heard a soft groan that they turned the attention away from the sky and to the small tanookies. Tommy was resting his head on Isabelle’s lap and Timmy was using Tommy as a pillow.

“Whoops. Looks like someone’s energies run out. Poor things, it’s way past their bed time. I’ll take them home.” Isabelle said, gently picking up the boys in her arms. She was about to leave when Tom stopped her. “Wait Isabelle. Before you leave... could I have one of those boppers?” He asked. It felt silly of him to ask but he thought they were pretty and wanted to participate. But Isabelle wasn’t a judgemental person, far from it. She simply giggled slightly and bowed her head before him. “Here, take mine.”

And so. Isabelle was off. She was off to put the kids to bed. That left Tom and you completely alone. Tom was readjusting his bopper and you were simply looking at him with a smile. “Hey look at that! We match!” You said, nudging his shoulder slightly. “Huh? Oh yeah! I guess we do ahhah...hey Y/N? I wanted to thank you. Thank you for fixing the Redd situation, thank you for taking care of the boys, just thank you for dragging me out here. And umm...” he took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. The tanooki placed a quick kiss on your cheek. It took you a second to realise what had just happened. But once you did, you smiled to yourself, grabbing his hand slightly.

“You’re welcome Tom.“ And so. The two of you continued to watch the fireworks, you leaned your head against his shoulder.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

So yeah...another out of the blue fic that I wasn’t planning on writing!!! But listen, @mrmr-uwu told me about this headcanon she had about how the reason Tom isn’t present at the festival is because he can’t be with Redd because it’s to painful for him. Like do you expect me to hear that and NOT write a 2000 word fic about it??? Don’t be ridiculous I don’t have that self control! But this was really fun. Like I’ve said before I will take ANY excuse to write for Tom Nook. I will now get back to your normal Yandere content

#acnh #animal crossing #animal crossing x reader #animal crossing new horizons #animal crossing new horizons x reader #ac x reader #acnh x reader #tom nook #tom nook x reader #isabelle ac #timmy and tommy #crazy redd #jolly redd #ac #tom nook is a dad #Y/N is the mom #sorry i dont make the rules #thanks mar

[everyotherworm]

Heyyy! I found your blog shortly after The Arena got its big makeover and I didn’t pay too much attention to the other wizards descriptions, so do you have any info/headcanons on them? (determinedowl23)

!!!! You have no idea I have so many headcanons! First tho if u want info: scroll down to the list of arena npcs and you can click on them to get their old in game appearance, name, title, and description (the descriptions are like 1-2 sentences long.)

As for headcanons I have a bunch in the 'arena wizard blogging tag' on here already (so far I've done a headcanon post for Gina, Cameron, Bannard, Flora, Nick, Lillian, and George, but I also have a bunch of other random headcanons in the tag) but to answer your ask here's a quick long highlight reel of my favorite headcanon(s) about each wizard! Some of these are things I've shared before, but some r about people I've never talked about before :) there are 20 characters and I'm bad at being succinct, so strap in folks

Gina has bad luck, or she tends to end up as the target of every spell or piece of machinery that goes awry and she can't do anything about it because she sucks at magic too much to levitate it away lmao

Crios didn't want to be friends with Cameron, cameron just followed him around until he was worn down and just got used to having him around all the time. Now he's so used to him that despite his constant complaining about cameron, he will be even more annoyed if he doesn't have him there to be annoying and do errands for crios.

Bonus cameron one because he's my favorite: his hair is naturally curly and black, he just dyed it to look more like crios. Funnily enough, crios's hair isn't actually naturally orange either.

Mila tends to hang around young wizards more than the wizards at her level, she thinks they're more open minded (which is kind of because they don't have common sense, but she considers that helpful to 'thinking outside the box') and she has a lot of fun mentoring them.

Benjamyn is best friends with fuschia, because thanks to growing up with sisters he's always gotten along better with the girls at school than the boys. Also that leather apparel is hot as heck, but he doesn't take it off because he's just a cold lad man

Fuschia has an eye for small details and is especially good at judging whether people are kind/genuine or not. Some rumor that her pet mystyyk can sense that she has a pure heart and that that's why it chose her, but in reality it's just because she lured it I with lots of treats :3

I've said this one before but bannard is hard of hearing and has no idea what is going on half the time. He's fairly magically gifted and VERY good at scaring away monsters (it's because he never stops yelling) but he's kind of held back by not getting enough accommodations. He doesn't seem to care tho, he's just here to have a good time :)

I know the reason leena is called the metal head is because she likes rocks not metal music, but you can tear electric guitar playing leena from my cold dead hands <3

Finneas is a terrible influence on everyone he meets, he skips like half his classes lmao </3

The lunar wand was made for a werewolf, is it that farfetched to believe another type of shapeshifter might use it? Why are djinnas pets all fish based instead of ghost based if she's a spirit? Why would someone need to leave back and forth from the academy if they could get all their needs from land? DJINNAS A MERMAID PEOPLE WAKE UP-

Jess has an inferiority complex, seriously dude how's it feel to spend your whole life in the shadow of a twin who's just like you but way better and who's already finished school /lh

Flora sleeps upside down

I'm a Nick = Young Santa Claus truther but that's more of a theory than a headcanon, so other than that I think he's autistic and has a special interest in Christmas and thats why he involves it in a lot of things :) also he gives everyone gifts year round and uses Christmas decorations as fidget/stim toys

Not to do to autistic/special interest headcanons in a row buuut Lillian is also autistic and has a special interest in pets and you can fight me on that. Also Lillian lives with professor scoog (he's her uncle, don't question how that works) and they both loooove rambling about old and new pets to each other

Korathius is one of the only students who's lived on prodigy island his whole life, and him being raised by magic pets is the reason he's in the higher level ranking.

Jen has had several near death experiences.

On George's first day on the island he exploded half his hair and shirt, took apart the wheel of wonder (he tried to put it back together but it ended up falling onto gina when she leaned on it because he did a bad job), and accidentally caused a minor eruption in bonfire spire (he just wanted to see what would happen if you cast spells from underneath the lava, he thought they weren't working so he casted a LOT of light waves.)

Aurora is so mean <3 she will stab u with an icicle if you try to prank you or sneak into her house (which is a small ice castle she built on the iceberg she floated over on.)

I dont have a lot of nova headcanons, shes just a nice gal, u know? She makes really good cookies if its worth anything

Crios is a sore ass loser, he probably decided to start dueling out of spite. Also, he's the one who beat the dark tower the canon where your wizard isn't there.

So yeah! I love them, arena wizards my beloved <33 if u want more headcanons about specific characters or topics feel free to ask, although I'd guess after reading all that you'd be ready for a break LOL. Thanks for the ask!!

#long post #tagging that before hand because someone finally asked me about the arena wizards so you KNOW its gonna be long lmaoo #prodigy math game #arena wizard blogging #headcanons #im sorry if u wanted a short post but to be fair its 20 characters so what do u expect lol #im not gonna tag them all bcus tumblr stops letting the search work after the 20th tag and im already 6 tags in with 20 characters to tag

[octoshott]

Rufus 63, Luther 49 and 24 and 52, Taeral 11 and 15 lmao, Quill 56

houuugh boy thank you my love!! lets see here.

Rufus:

63: Which party member would they pull a prank on? Who would they plan a prank with?

Oh this is a good question for Rufus hough boy lets see here. I feel they'd avoid doing anything harmful even prank wise to Anu for the most part, so I honestly feel like their primary target would honestly be Wilke, sorry Wilke.

Rufus pranks aren't too bad, they like playing really REALLY harmless shit like you know that spongebob meme about the ice thats their kind of prank. Or "hey did you know gullible is written on the ceiling" type deal, nothing that would actively cause any serious harm. They've played pranks on the past on their mother and those dipped more into the "Hey Rufus what the fuck" kind of energy. Though thinking about this they might pull the gullible is written on the ceiling thing with Anu too.

Planning a prank with? It'd have to be Chantrell and or Wilke for sure, they feel Wilke could probably do a good enough prank but make sure its not steered in a too harsh direction. They don't really know Chantrells vibe to much but they can assume that maybe! she might be really good at pranks! who knows! Might be the best pranker Rufus has ever met!! Gotta get to know the party more to know that though ;3c

Luther:

49: Do they talk to themselves?

Yes. Especially when they're working on something that's kind of frying their brain a bit. Luther tends to speak outloud if they're alone or under their breath if they're with someone. Things like "Hoookay Luther, okay, lets think for a second here bud."

If they're working out something like a math problem they'll mutter the numbers under their breath or if they're writing something out that they need to remember while doing so they'll mumble but you got to get them in a real muddled mindset to outright speak outloud.

24: What’s a controversial food opinion they would have?

Banana Peppers go with everything and that's just a fact of life. I don't know what their deal is with specifically peppers but Luther is the kind of person to snack on banana peppers like its nothing, he could eat a whole bag of the things; especially if they were dried and dipped in cinnamon (do not ask). Boy just likes his peppers and he feels they compliment most if not every meal; they not too hot, they have just the right amount of crunch, they're good.

I don't know how controversial this is but this is just from being raised by chefs himself but leaving food without seasoning is a fucking sin in his household, you have to have SOMETHING on that meal. You gotta! Even if its just a bit of salt! He understands some folks stomachs aren't built to deal with very intense spices but at least add a lil pinch of something in there while you're cooking!

52: If your character was under quarantine, what type of quarantine person would they be? (Productive? Hobbyist? Lazy?)

Hmnnn. Being under quarantine I feel would stress Luther out a good chunk and he'd start becoming heavily productive out of habit before burning himself out and becoming lazy and tired. Luther has a lot of issues with easily burning himself out on projects and things he wants to work on so in a space where he can't exactly go outside or do too much he'd feel like "oh this is the perfect time to do that!" and then. struggle. SO fucking bad after totally burning himself out. Walks would certainly help him though, he needs breaks in between his own little projects or else he'll struggle to return to them.

Taeral:

11: How does your character blow off steam?

Hough Boy. Writing to Idall would be a good one, he tries to avoid doing this because it feels like an invasion of privacy sometimes, its hard to tell; he doesn't quite know if his patron sleeps being inside a book and all but sometimes Idall responds and it has drawn him back; its very common for Taeral venting to turn to a quiet and more comfortable conversation between the two which Taeral appreciates. Idall often treats his strifes or things that are genuinely stressing him out with genuine care and interest which, even though Taeral doesn't come to him too often out of nerves and feeling bad about it, surprises him every single time.

But the main one would be honestly going for walks and skipping stones. It's a little hard to skip stones over the ocean due to these pesky things called waves so he likes to take a fairly long walk to a small lake that rests about 2-3 hours away from where he lives and skip stones there. If he doesn't really have time to do that walking by the coast, kicking his boots off and walking down the shore with his pant legs pulled up is always a good mood boost and helps him settle. It depends on how deep the problem is with the method thats used but just throwing it in there as a relation to the ask, if something really sets Taeral off to the point where his anger boils over he usually ends up crying because he struggles to handle how he's feeling a lot of the time. Only a few certain individuals have seen him in such a state and him getting to that point would be VERY rare.

15: Describe their ideal date.

oohhhHh no this is a HORRIBLE one. Taeral is a hopeless romantic, his ideal date would be going to a restaurant and being able to treat his partner to good food and afterwards go on a walk, somewhere where they can be alone and Taeral can genuinely appreciate and talk to this person... though if you really can get through to him, he'd take you to the beach and talk to you about how the waves are so in yet out of sync, he'd tell you to watch the way they lap at the shore so desperate to reach and drive the tide in further but theres always a respectable distance. It's a joint effort to make sure the beach isn't flooded on both ends.

He'd want to play around with you, dance with you and tell you how pretty you look. The stars keep trying to best you but they just burn out before they can even get close to how stunning and breathtaking you are. Real fucking hopeless romantic.

Quill:

56: If your character had wings what would they look like?

It's a little silly but black swan wings! Ones that would curve around her arms consistently. She'd be able to tuck them against her back but the most comfortable position would be framing her, just ever so slightly curved! She'd fucking hate having wings though.

#these were fun and taerals made me FUCKING SAD MAN #my ocs #dnd #quill #quill hickory #luther knox #luther #rufus #rufus vow #taeral #taeral fenrir #taeral is. a fucking idiot.

[miaxeu]

      though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, MIA STOEGER is actually a descendent of DIONYSUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MYTHOLOGICAL STUDIES MAJOR from LOS ANGELES, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & DUPLICITOUS. 

( y’all dont deserve this real messy intro but im workin w half a bwain cell at 4am so i beg thee 4 mercy. nywyy im the excited new girl who’s hella pumped to meet all ur charas : katya ! feel free to hop in my ims to plot or drop a like and i’ll hop in urs ! x  )

POWERS

natural acting abilities — her ma’s a hollywoo agent so she started actin real early & now shes a big shot actress. there r more deetz on her career below !

chlorokinesis — it wasnt as natural as acting n she only started working on it when she turned 13 n started going to camps. b4 she just noticed shes good w plants but it wasnt super crazy or nything. its p good now tho ! shes prioritizing vine binding and manipulation 4 the self defense bc awards r cool n all but they dont rlly protecc from monsters ykwim 

levitation — shes trying her best ur honor

alcokinesis  — she cant conjure it or anything, she’s just immune to it ffff

BIO POINTS — cw: drug use ( full biography here )

her mom raised her by herself bc dionysus the party god was out of the picture immediately. she never told mia she’s a demigod & it was always just “ wow ur so talented ” or “ aww u got a green thumb ! ” but when she saw him claim 13 y/o mia by placing a weird hologram over her head while she slept, she knew she had to spill da beanz & tell her kid

ofc mia thought her mom was jus playing sum weird acting exercise w her bc her powers r so lowkey she could highkey just be a Mortal but insert sad whistle, the realizashun & the claiming meant heightened monster threat !! so yea ,,, one ended up chasing her a couple days later rip 

aside from the trauma, mia was ok. mostly bc she ended up cryin for dionysus like any child would n lo & behold he came & helped !!! as he should. nywy she made sure to go to summer camps every year after that but mostly just for protection purposes

she lowkey rlly hates this whole god business esp now that shes grown lmfao deadass thinks she got a bad deal bc life threats arent sexy !!! went to eonia eventually bc its Too Much Man. she just wants to go back to work and her life w the mortals w/o worryin for her life. would deadass fade her father if she could. may or may not be majoring in greek mythology to figure out the logistics of it all out of spite, who knows !

PERSONALITY

not ! a Drama Queen  —  dont get me wrong, shes hella Extra in the way she moves n acts sorta like shes always bein captured on film. is quick-witted & playful & can be a huge tease/flirt if she feels like it, but miss her w Real Feelings ! totally not sentimental. srsly she will try to rationalize away everything and is just,.,., not good w it. so soz folks, we just keepin it breezy here

ugh, she’s an Actress — aka she can act like she cares tho ! shes very much into keeping ppl on her good side. shes friendly n palatable to everyone bc its how shes been trained & while it doesnt seem fake, its def diff when its genuine

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known —  lemme circle back to the first one, ok so shes good w emotions but only in theory. does intense character work with her roles so she thinks that counts as her having eq when rlly shes just emotionally stunted, projecting n repressing like an idiot

blonde, skinny, rich, & a lil bit of a Bitch — shes only a bitch inwardly or to ppl she trusts enuff to let in on the gossip. if anyone full on opposes her or becomes real emotional, then this lil diva will rear its superiority complex head n snap a lil. will most probably do it v underhandedly n w a smile but it will be Brutal

girls just wanna have FUN ! — shes the child of da party god, so ofc she a true party girl. officially off the rails when she parties. inhibitions ? we dk her. can be insensitive in that case bc smtms its truly no strings attached, tis all abt the fun. likes company a lot & it doesnt even have 2 be loud or particularly abt her, she just likes having people around n the escapism of it all. will make friends with everyone n make sure they have a jolly fun time guaranteed at dionysus parties 

Work Hard, Play Hard — real responsible when it comes to work and commitments and if she trusts/likes u enough, she’ll give it 2 u straight, no bs. def thinks Calling Out is an act of love but maybe does it a lil too harshly smtms. v much into efficiency, sentiments be damned. not the feely words type. will sit next to u or party w u or even pay 4 ur therapist if u need sum1 to talk to. she will Be There while u work thru it, so long as u dont expect her to change n be all emotional n stuff

if she seems a lil contradictory thats bc she kinda is. tis the good ol nurture vs nature. her ma’s a real no nonsense chick n her pops is a frat guy drama geek greek god whos rlly into cottagecore so u get this lil blonde bitch whos sorta teetering on the edges

OTHER INFO  — cw: drug use ( full headcanons here )

re her career, she achieved pegot status when she was 18 aka she truly b dat bitch. shes not super mainstream famous tho, more like indie sweetheart, film snobs/critics fave typa gal. if ya want a trajectory she started w baby commercials then a sitcom from 4-10 ( think modern fam’s lily ) then it was off to the big screen & the stage ! 

mia has a lil bit of a drug habit. its not abusive or dependent, but it is a staple whenever shes parties bc alcohol is useless 2 her. started a lil young too bc hollywoo. primarily uppers/hallucinogens. she smokes weed a lil more liberally but the rest is mostly just an on occasion thing ( which, ngl, is a still a lil problematic when u party a lot rip )

after she got claimed, mia ended up going to demigod camps in a lot of diff places n countries, depending on where production would take her. there was never an established place, more like wherever was nearest when they wrapped up shooting bc monsters afoot n wutnot  

she was always homeschooled but she still managed to go to a prom and homecoming bc party is life. that makes eonia uni p much her first chance at having a normal educational environment & experience and even then its anything but. still tho this is her moment !!! im lit rally begging her to get a personality that isnt her internally rolling her eyes going “ its not that deep ”

might put up a bio/stats page if im feelin sxc but i wud jus like the records to show that mia stoeger is a bi sxc babe bc me ? write a het ? no grassy ass.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS — cw: drug use ( full connections here )

omg danny devito i love ur work ! 

,,, p self explanatory sdkjfs sum1 who loves her work ! it can be lowkey/highkey fangirl to a civil admiration

OR alternatively, y/m can Not Be a fan of her work. they might think the storyline of the projects she takes on r too out of touch n highbrow yada yada yada, but yes, we love to see either of it ! 

summer camp sweetheart !  

someone she met when at camp when they were teens ? doesnt matter in what country/city, but mia was only visiting so it was truly a one summer romance typa thing. bc she was younger, im thinkin 13-17 or w/e she was probably sweeter n a lot more emotional then. was it either’s first puppy love ? first kiss ? first “ relationship ? ” idk, do yk ? truly, so many possibilities. nothin set in stone just hmu bub 

summer camp pals ! 

p much the same as above but make it Platonic

party buddies !

or druggie pals. either way works but she wud luv it if theyre both xoxo

friends w benefits !

most probably ( but not limited to ) sum1 she met at a party skdjhsjk is it exclusive ? is any1 starting to develop feelings ? im down 4 nthing n evrything

alexa play true friend by hannah montana !

give mia her college bestie ! her confidant who knows her feels and can call each other out viciously with no ounce of resentment. we stan the friendships !

omg i love ur skirt !

that is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen. lmao basically sum1 mia pretends to like or acts civil w but rlly ,,,, Cannot Stand for w/e rzn   

im p much braindead rn but those are just sum ideas !!! ofc the usual staples like the pals, enemies, wutnots are also v welcome we love to see it. if u also have a wc that u think mia would fit in, id luv to know more ! there are also a couple more detailed ones here, but pls feel free to shoot me a msg n we can get 2 plotting x 

( * wipes brow * how did i type so much n say so little rip. mia is also a completely new muse so pls b patient n if i fuq up from time to time, pretend u do not see >.< nywy thnx 4 readin, sweets ! feel free to hmu here or at discord if ya wanna <3333 )

FULL INFO  ||  EONIA TASKS 

[chpkns]

BEST ALBUMS 2020

Some albums I enjoyed during quarantine.

Hon Mentions: Campfire Chords - Arkells, A Written Testimony - Jay Electronica, All In One - Jaunt, Punisher - Phoebe Bridgers, Alfredo - Freddie Gibs and Madlib, Thats What They All Say - Jack Harlow, Western Swing & Waltzes and Other Punchy Songs - Colter Wall, This Place Sucks Ass - PUP, Only For Dolphins - Action Bronson, Black Habits - D Smoke, What’s Your Pleasure - Jessie Ware, 3.15.20 - Childish Gambino, Dedicated Side B - Carly Rae Jepsen, Dark Lane Demo Tapes - Drake, After Hours - The Weeknd, color theory - Soccer Mommy, Circles - Mac Miller, Womb - Purity Ring

10) Future Nostalgia - Dua Lipa

One of the lesser, although still significant, tragedies of the 2020 COVID era was that weddings and sweaty club basements the world over were robbed of Dua Lipa’s prolific output this year. Future Nostalgia is hit or miss in places, but the hits come hot and heavy delivering banger after 80′s-disco-inspired banger. Dominant summer jams “Don’t Start Now” and “Break My Heart” are the highlights here, along with “Levitating” (equally good with or without DaBaby). Sleeper tracks “Cool” and “Hallucinate” round out the year’s best pure pop album.

Highlights: Don’t Start Now, Break My Heart, Levitating, Physical, Cool, Hallucinate

9) Women In Music, Pt. III - HAIM

The third album from LA’s sister act rock trio HAIM delivers consistency and growth for the band. There’s plenty of retro heartbreak rock on Women In Music, Pt. III to satisfy fans of HAIM’s first two albums, but lots of new on offer as well including the jazzy Lou Reed inspired sax of “Summer Girl” and Danielle Haim sounding positively Joni Mitchell-esque on “Man From the Magazine”. The auditory production flourishes of erstwhile Vampire Weekend member Rostam are noticeable throughout and help stretch the bounds of the HAIM sisters’ signature Wilson Phillips meets Fleetwood Mac summer rock sound into something more of the moment.

Highlights: The Steps, Summer Girl, Don’t Wanna, Man From the Magazine, FUBT

8) My Turn (Deluxe) - Lil Baby

I’ve almost given up on trying to enjoy or understand most “new rap” but every now and then something breaks through that I connect with for some reason. Atlanta rapper Lil Baby’s My Turn was that album for me this year. There are many reasons I feel I should not like Lil Baby’s music, from his liberal use of autotune to his mumbling delivery, but something always drew me back to it and, listen after listen, it grew on me. Lil Baby’s flow is persistent when he locks in, with matching driving trap production from Quay Global, Tay Keith and others, mirroring in sound the story of Baby’s rise from the streets to prison to the studio. The standout track is late addition “The Bigger Picture”, Lil Baby’s protest anthem on race in America, policing and the turmoil following the killing of George Floyd by police, a political statement from an otherwise apolitical artist, showing that Lil Baby has much more to offer than bravado and autotune.

Highlights: Grace (ft. 42 Dugg), Forever (ft. Lil Wayne), No Sucker (ft. Moneybagg Yo), Social Distancing, The Bigger Picture

7) Miss Anthropocene - Grimes

The third major studio release from Montreal native Claire Boucher, better known as Grimes, doesn’t reach the same highs as its predecessors - 2015′s electro-pop masterpiece Art Angels (which rated number 1 on this list for that year) or 2012′s Visions, the synth-laden fever dream that introduced Grimes to mainstream notoriety (number 2 on this list for 2012) - but it’s still very much worth the time. The vibe of Miss A falls somewhere between Grimes’ previous two albums, and a little darker and messier to boot. Grimes sounds a bit like she’s playing a concert for the end of the world, which feels a bit prophetic for an album released just before a global pandemic took hold. As always, Grimes is out to flex her muscle as a technician and across the album’s ten tracks she mixes diverse sounds ranging from rave synths to banjos showing how far her craft has come since making Visions on Garageband in her Mile End apartment.

Highlights: So Heavy I Fell Through The Earth, Violence, Delete Forever, 4ÆM, You’ll miss me when I’m not around

6) evermore - Taylor Swift

Spoiler alert, this isn’t the highest ranked Taylor Swift album on this list. Surprise released in December, evermore was an early Christmas present to fans of Swift’s surprise summer album folklore (more on that later). evermore continues Swift’s reinvention from pop star to indie singer-songwriter, assisted by songwriting partner Aaron Dessner of The National and a variety of indie darling guest stars - this time around featuring HAIM, The National’s Matt Berninger and another stunning guest turn with Bon Iver. Speaking of Justin Vernon, the album capping title track might be the single best song on either folklore or evermore. And for fans of Taylor’s earlier catalogue like me, the return to country music on “no body, no crime” is like reconnecting with an old friend. evermore is a little messier and less consistent thematically than its sister album, feeling a bit like folklore’s b-sides. But when your b-sides are better than most artist’s a-sides, why not release another album’s worth?

Highlights: ‘tis the damn season, no body no crime (ft. HAIM), coney island (ft. The National), cowboy like me, evermore (ft. Bon Iver)

5) RTJ4 - Run The Jewels

Walking the streets of my neighbourhood with the first listen of RTJ4 in my earbuds, I found myself actually crying at the thought that I would not get to see Killer Mike and el-P perform these songs live in the summer of 2020. The memories of RTJ festival sets past came rushing over me in a wave. That was my first “damn, I miss live music moment” of the pandemic. The fourth instalment of Run The Jewels’ historic rap partnership is more of the same in the very best way. Like the dynamic duo’s previous three instalments, RTJ4 is in your face, moves at a frenetic clip, and takes no prisoners. There’s even another album highlighting collaboration with Rage Against The Machine’s Zack De La Rocha. The politics of RTJ4′s tirades against inequity and the police state feel even more imminent in 2020 against the backdrop of George Floyd, the ensuing protest movement that gripped America, and the 2020 presidential election. I really hope we get a chance to see Mike and el-P tour these songs in 2021, the world needs it.

Highlights: ooh la la (ft. Greg Nice and DJ Premier), goonies vs. E.T., walking in the snow, JU$T (ft. Pharrell Williams and Zack de la Rocha), a few words for the firing squad (radiation)

4) Saint Cloud - Waxahatchee

The majestically twangy folk-Americana of Saint Cloud, the fifth solo album from Katie Crutchfield (stage named Waxahatchee after Waxahatchee Creek, Alabama, where the singer grew up), is a nostalgic cure for the ails of 2020. The soft bluesy rhythms of Crutchfield’s songs feel like a lazy long summer day spent by the water. That was something we needed this year. The songwriting is just as beautiful. The standout track, “Fire”, speaks to Crutchfield’s journey finding sobriety and reconnecting with her southern roots. It also speaks to a longing feeling “give me something / it ain’t enough / it ain’t enough”.  On “Arkadelphia”, Crutchfield croons: “We try to give it all meaning / Glorify the grain of the wood / Tell ourselves what's beautiful and good”. In the chaos of 2020, the calm oasis of Saint Cloud is certainly something beautiful and good worth enjoying.

Highlights: Can’t Do Much, Fire, The Eye, Arkadelphia, St. Cloud

3) Suddenly - Caribou

Suddenly was my first genuine pandemic listen and, in the early days of lockdown, I found myself going back to it again and again. So much so, that the opening haunting notes of “Sister” became a kind of touchstone as I adjusted to a weird new work-from-home lifestyle. The chilled out weirdness of Caribou was an extremely welcome presence in 2020. It had been long enough since 2014′s Our Love (2014′s number 1 on this list) that I’d forgotten how enjoyably quirky Dan Snaith’s floaty pseudo-house tunes could be. Suddenly is a little more laid back than the club ready Our Love, which maybe suits it more to a world where dancefloors are closed. The tunes are also tighter, more economical in their length and soundscape. The lead single “Home” sounds downright commercial (in a good way) with it’s motown sampled chorus. Other parts of the album, like the closing “Cloud Song” venture into more experimental territories. All throughout, however, are Caribou’s signature warm chord progressions inviting you to lose yourself in them. Whether you’re looking for a guided meditation or an at-home dance party, Suddenly was the perfect 2020 album for it.

Highlights: Sister, Home, Lime, Never Come Back, Ravi

2) Cuttin’ Grass, Vol. 1 : The Butcher Shoppe Sessions - Sturgill Simpson

2020 was full of unexpected things, many bad but some surprisingly delightful. Firmly in the latter category is Cuttin’ Grass, Sturgill Simpson’s surprise double album made up entirely of bluegrass covers of his own catalogue. A true product of 2020, Simpson recorded the album with a murderer’s row of contemporary bluegrass artists after recovering from COVID-19 and challenging his fans to raise funds for charity in exchange for recording a new album. That album became Cuttin’ Grass, a traditional bluegrass re-imagination of the greatest hits and hidden gems of a country artist who has always strived to avoid being labelled as a country artist. The songs feel effortlessly at home and are given new life amid the frenetic guitar and mandolin picking, flying fiddles, and twangling banjos. If Simpson’s ode to the revelatory experience of psychedlic drug use “Turtles All The Way Down” felt revolutionary on 2014′s Metamodern Sounds in Country Music, it feels like an old standard here with its tempo pitched up and enveloped in the cacophony of the bluegrass ensemble. There is some good old fashioned heartbreak to slow things down too. Mandolin player and backup vocalist Sierra Hull shines on “I Wonder” (a cover of a song originally recorded by Sturgill’s former band Sunday Valley) as she joins Simpson on the chorus: “Tell me am I the only one / drinking and cursing your name?” The juxtaposition of Simpson’s unconventional country catalogue with the most traditional of country music styles just works and the entire hour can be listened and relistened for days. And if you’re still not satisfied, the companion “Volume 2: the Cowboy Arms Sessions” released in December brings back the same supporting cast to explore more of Simpson’s catalogue.

 Highlights: All The Pretty Colors, Breakers Roar, Time After All, Turtles All The Way Down, Voices

1) folklore - Taylor Swift

Well, I told you there’d be more Taylor Swift on this list, and here it is. Your number 1 album of 2020 is folklore, the surprise release pandemic project in which the world’s biggest country star turned pop star reinvented herself again as an indie artist. Unlike anything else Swift has put out since RED, nothing on folklore is designed to be played in a stadium. Rather, it’s all more at home in a cabin by the fire, or in your earbuds on a fall walk... basically, it’s music meant for 2020. Like its companion evermore, folklore is the product of Swift’s songwriting collaboration with The National’s guitarist Aaron Dessner. The melding of songwriting styles seems like an odd match at first but sounds like a match made in heaven. Lyrically, Swift’s songwriting makes an evolutionary leap, almost leaving her primary auto or semi-autobiographical comfort zone behind completely (other than, perhaps, in heavily veiled metaphor) in favour of invented stories and semi-historical world building. After a few listens, you discover that the same characters appear in different songs like the imagined history of Rebekah Harkness, the real life former inhabitant of Swift’s Rhode Island home, on “the last great american dynasty” or imagery of “battleships” that “sink beneath the waves” in the ghost story of “my tears ricochet”. In the so-called “teenage love triangle trilogy” of “betty”, “cardigan”, and “august”, Swift tells different parts of the same story from the perspective of different characters. Each song stands on its own, but the discovery that the pieces fit together is wonderful. “betty” is the standout track for me, as a long suffering fan of “country Taylor”. In style, it harkens back to her earlier work, but in substance it’s something new entirely as Swift sings from the perspective of James, the boy who has done wrong by his lover and is seeking forgiveness. The pinnacle of the album is “exile” Swift’s collaboration with Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon. The call and response interaction of Swift with Vernon’s true to for emma form baritone is chill inducing. Like so many of the unexpected good things in 2020, folklore came from throwing plans out the window and doing what felt right for the moment. This is Taylor Swift making the music she wanted to make. In Dark Knight fashion, it’s the album we needed, if not the one we deserved. It’s the best album of the year.

Highlights: cardigan, the last great american dynasty, exile (ft. Bon Iver), my tears ricochet, epiphany, betty, peace

[tally-kiza]

Horrorswap and Horrorswapfell Headcanons

So I decided to make Horrorswap and Horrorswapfell headcanons. There’s not a lot of stuff out there for it, so I wanted to throw my hat into the ring, and see what I could come up with.

This isn’t typical scary Horrortale, btw. These are soft-Horrortale inspired by popatochisssp’s HT skeletons.

(this is slightly edited and revised as of 02/25/2020 so if things seem different than before, thats why)

Horrorswap Sans (Boston)

- The famine was particularly hard on him. Alphys’s abuse really injured his head, and combined with the effects of starvation, Sans was eventually diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. His brother was always so worried when Boston started spending days in bed or sprinting throughout the underground setting up violently painful puzzles and traps, shouting about humans, but having an explanation assuaged his worries a bit. At least then he knew how to help. 

- Speaking of Alphys, when Sans became captain of the Royal Guard and bore the brunt of her anger, it left permanent damage to his bones and teeth, leaving them cracked and crooked, with strange blood stains on them (his own marrow/blood, not a human’s).

- Despite everything, he's still Sans. He’s sunny, but less so than he use to be, and even when he’s feeling miserable, he tries his best to be friendly and cheerful. ...It’s difficult though. It’s so tempting sometimes to just curl up and forget about the world, but... even though he does do that occasionally, he never stays like that for long. He keeps going through the day, trying his best to live and forget about the past.

- On better days though, he can be pretty cheerful and friendly! He likes talking to other people and hearing what they have to say.

- Boston goes to therapy regularly to cope with his trauma. He tries to convince his brother to go too but Citrine’s been stubborn so far.

- During the famine, one of his favorite things to take his mind off the stress was creating things. Like drawing maps of what the stars in the sky look like, and designing diagrams of spaceships that he likes. Very space-oriented things usually, since he’s always loved it so much. It’s... very difficult to make these though most of the time. His concentration and focus is basically nonexistent when he’s starving, so he can mostly only create when he’s recently eaten. Making them is his favorite hobby on the surface.

- Adores farmers markets. There's so many possibilities! Buying cool new foods, selling the things he’s made, meeting and talking to cool new people! He loves them, they’re so fun.

- Uses the fruits from his brother’s gardens to make preserves! Saves jars of jams, jellies, and other preserves in the cabinets for whenever he needs to use them when he cooks. They’re delicious and he always has a lot of fun making them with his brother.

- Has a collection of lava lamps! They’re so satisfying and relaxing to watch. He loves them, and they always help him feel less stressed.

- Along that same vein, he likes stim videos! Pretty much all kinds of them. they’re very relaxing to him.

- He hates the silence... It reminds him so much of Snowdin during the famine. Cold, empty, devoid of life and joy... He cringes whenever there’s too long of a silence. Boston will almost always have some kind of noise on in the background, whether it be music or tv show or an audiobook. It really eases his fears.

- Stars, he loves food. So much. He loves watching stress-free cooking shows and learning new recipes to cook. Trying something new and making food for him and his brother is one of his favorite things. 

- Awkwardly genuine. He tries really hard to fit in on the surface and be a good person to make up for what he's done. Every so often he’ll say or do something really dark and completely forget he can’t do that anymore on the surface. Sans will berate himself really hard afterwards, so he really appreciates the reassurances he gets that it’s okay.

- Admittedly, he had lost hope of ever seeing the stars... He thought they’d be stuck underground, starving to death forever... But when he and the others emerged out of the Barrier in the middle of the night, he finally saw the infinite blanket of stars twinkling above them. He’s never been quite so happy in his whole life, as he collapsed on the ground and sobbed with the pure relief of finally being free and finally seeing the stars.

Horrorswap Papyrus (Citrine)

- After getting into a big fight with Alphys and interfering when she tried to hurt Sans, he ended up with a big bad hole in his skull. Sans had to use all the healing magic he could find to save him. When Citrine woke up, his skull was throbbing and he could barely remember what happened.

- Very apathetic at times. It’s hard to care about stuff when he’s stuck underground and feels like they’re going to die soon... It'll take a lot of years on the surface for him to be anywhere close to normal again. Also doesn't have the energy to be nice to people sometimes. So he just isolates himself and doesn’t interact with them.

- That being said, it is possible to befriend him. It’ll be a long journey but With the right circumstances and if you’re good to Boston, Citrine ends up being a pretty great friend.

- Pretty touch-repulsed unless he’s close with someone. After many years of being friends with them, he can be pretty cuddly. If you’re lucky, he’ll drape himself over you like a cat.

- Like the other lazybones, the hole in his skull gave him memory problems but not as severe as the others'. Still has all his long-term memory, he just forgets recent things (like where he put his keys) ver easily.

- Since he has no suckers to chew on during the famine, he chews on sticks as a replacement. It's left his teeth chipped and scraggly. He gets them fixed on the surface, and hoards all the suckers, honey, and pocky he can find.

- Loves plants. Has a mini garden on the surface. Grows his own food and everything. Boston is so supportive of him and helps him when he’s struggling with it.

- Probably has a slight case of osteoporosis? And maybe the other horror!skeletons would as well. So his spine is kinda bent, unfortunately. 

- Still really loves puns. Dark ones make him kind of uncomfortable (he doesn't like anything that reminds him of the underground) but his favorites are plant and music puns. They're perhaps the quickest way to get him to warm up to you.

- Still appreciates memes. Doesn’t outwardly show a positive reaction to them, but they make him chuckle inwardly. Will deadpannedly meme at you when you least expect it.

- Has an unfortunate case of MVRSF: Monotone Voice and Resting Stony Face.

- Pretends he’s fine when there’s clearly something wrong. Refuses to accept help and burden anyone. He just... doesn’t want to cause any more problems. He insists he’ll be alright....

- Stars, he just? loves Hozier’s music?? so much??? It’s so ethereal and chill and it always calms him down when he’s stressed. And music! Just music in general is his one true lomfve. He can’t get enough of it. Starts learning to play the kalimba on the surface. It has such a lovely sound. He’s a little rusty at it, but he tries hard. Hozier songs are his favorite songs to play on it.

Horrorswapfell Sans (Knox)

- Like Horrorfell Papyrus, after the famine began, he sobered up. Sans didn't have the time nor energy for all his usual grandiose. Like with all the Fell skeletons, he blames himself that the human killed so many people, and it's really taken a hit to his ego. His self-esteem is a lot lower than it used to be.

- Didn't take of any of Alphys's shit, and refused to let her abuse him. They fought quite a bit however, resulting in chipped misaligned teeth and long scars on his eyesocket and side of his face. The eyesocket with those scars lost its eyelight, so hes unfortunately blind in that socket now. Scraps with Snowdin-folk have left scars and marks all over his and body, but nothing too deep, luckily.

- An incredibly responsible and capable skeleton. Like, he gets shit done. Insanely productive at times with laser-like focus. He was basically the only reason his brother survived during the famine; Knox motivates Clover to get out of bed and live.

- Mildly paranoid on the surface. He's worried that something bad will happen and is lurking around the corner, so he's incredibly suspicious everything. Especially people he doesn’t know.

- In addition to being mildly paranoid, he also is easily stressed, and has anxiety and depression. He has... a lot on his plate, to say the least. The famine gave him a lot of trauma, but frequent therapy helps a lot, once he’s comfortable opening up to strangers. His brother Clover is a great help, he’s the most helpful, supportive brother and friend he could’ve asked for. 

- Oftentimes he wears a dark cloak that makes him look like the Grim Reaper. Enjoys scaring people with it and making them think he actually is the Grim Reaper. It’s one of the great joys he has in life.

- Favorite type of music is opera and classical. He likes how quickly it can go from soft and peaceful to fast and dramatic and dynamic.

- Secretly likes baking, especially baking cupcakes, but sshhhh! No one can know. ...Mostly just because he’s new to baking and not very great at it yet, so he’s self-conscious. But! He hopes knows he’s gonna be great at it someday. And his brother is always there to cheer him on and nom all the sweet treats happily.

- He's very sly. Makes the most subtle, hidden, and deady traps out of all the skeletons, and with his silvertongue can easily turn people's words against them. 

- But... once you have his trust and his friendship, he wouldn’t dream of doing that to you. Knox isn’t someone who takes friendship lightly, so he’d never dare manipulate your words or hurt you in any way.

- Also very formal and serious. Not much of a casual skeleton, and doesn’t like letting down his walls. It’s part of his distrustful nature. Makes him pretty difficult to befriend, honestly. But it is possible, in the right circumstances.

- Sans isn’t passionate for many things on the surface, but sewing is definitely one of them. He got into it when he was younger, and starting sewing and creating more during the famine like Boston to keep himself distracted when he wasn’t working or patrolling. He enjoys it so much on the surface, that he starts doing tailoring and sewing commissions. Probably even becomes a tailor or something similar eventually. Altering clothes is the one thing he feels like he hasn't failed at, so he likes it.

Horrorswapfell Papyrus (Clover)

- Animalistic. The famine probably hit him the hardest out of all of them, mentally at least. He started acting more and more dog-like over time. Nothing extreme, he just has bad habits that he’s picked up. Hostile and distant towards strangers, growling at people with too high LV, whining if you won't cuddle him. It's pretty cute tbh.

- Once hen him and Alphys got into a fight over Sans, she threw her axe at him, and left a pretty big cracked hole in his skull. When Sans saved him with the DT, one of his eyelights became enlarged and beaming red. The other eye "overloaded” in a way from the influx of magic so it became basically unusable. Even though there’s no physical damage to it, keeping it uncovered hurts sometimes so he keeps an eyepatch over it.

- Wears beanie hats! Clover’s self-conscious about his crack, so he covers it with adorable beanie hats. He has a whole collection of them of many different types. He also likes how they make him feel cute.

- His slitted pupils make him look so adorable when they dilate when he's excited.

- Basically a cat. Drapes on top of his s/o for cuddles. Naps in the sunbeams. Complains when you don't pay attention to him. Kills pests for you. Just a 7 foot tall teddy bear kitty skeleton ;w;

- Looooves chicken nuggets. They’re his favorite food and nomming them after a bad day always makes him feel better <33. Calls them chimken nuggies.

- Also loves love songs! Especially the soft and sweet and heartfelt ones. They're so nice and calming to listen to. He really likes to hum along to them when he's drawing.

- Pretty quiet. He didn't talk a lot underground so as to not draw attention, so he rarely talks anymore. Doesn’t speak much around people he doesn’t know in public, but in private with people he’s close too he’s more comfortable talking. When Papyrus does talk, it's rather slow and his voice cracks occasionally.

-  Before the famine, Clover ate hard candies. But after he ran out of candies when the famine started, he wanted to have the same sensation so he started chewing on sticks and pebbles. It's left his fangs misaligned and cracked. They're partially repaired on the surface, but there wasn't a lot the dentist could do. So he just replaced them with more gold teeth. He has four now, instead of one.

- Has a panic disorder. He's terrified of going back underground. Only his brother and his s/o can calm him down from his panic attacks. Also has generalized anxiety. If he’s in front of strangers, he’ll try to hide it with aggression out of fear of looking weak.

- Papyrus used to love reading, but after his head wound, it was difficult to concentrate and understand what he was reading. So he stopped. But on the surface, he discovered the magic of audiobooks and uses them all the time! He can often be found wearing headphones listening to audiobooks in the background.

- Him and Knox eventually get two sweet darling therapy cats. They’re the most helpful nicest floofs he’s ever known and he loves them to bits. The cats are incredibly sweet and helpful when the skellies are having a bad day, and always makes them feel so much better.

- Works as a commission artist when he gets to the surface! He tried other jobs before, but they were always so stressful so he never worked there for long. He never lost his passion for making art during the famine, even though remembering how to was difficult sometimes. But once he relearns all his skills again, he loves working from home as an artist. It's the best job he could've ever asked for.

-He’s just Babey. A wonderfully sweet, wholesome, precious babey skellie ;w;

#undertale #horrortale #horrorswap #horrorswapfell #headcanons #us sans #us papyrus #sf sans #sf papyrus #undertale headcanons #undertale imagines #long post #sans #papyrus #horrortale sans #horrortale papyrus #ht sans #ht papyrus #mine #taki writing

[dcomposing]

jumin route rewrite???

ive had.... Issues with jumin's route since the first time i played it and im waiting out a 3 hour layover which means its time to self indulgently fix all of those problems right now in excruciating detail

for the record, i dont mean any disrespect towards cheritz -- i love mysme dearly and this is purely a self indulgent experiment to see what my ideal jumin route would have been! if you like his route as is thats totally fine! it just wasnt for me lmao

this was super fun to write and if this picks up i might do another route rewrite (and i might do it even if it doesnt because it was just that fun lol)

anyways this is REALLY long (literally its like 3k words all in outline form) so its gonna go under the cut lol

okay so: issues i had with jumin’s route that i want to address:

it moves WAY too fast — i mean all of the routes do to a certain degree; they’re only 11 days long but like... you’re literally engaged to him by the end of it which iirc, is something that is only replicated in seven’s normal ending (and even then i think its only implied?) and i get that the point is that jumin goes all out for the people he loves and is VERY certain that he loves you but it just feels... way too soon for my liking ESPECIALLY because you’re his first love! it just makes it feel like he’s caught up in the rush of being in love for the first time and isn’t thinking things through which... isn’t exactly the making of a great relationship lol. so for this re- write we’re gonna slow it WAY down because... oof. 

the sarah and glam plot line happening concurrently with the mint eye/possessive jumin one makes the route feel overly busy. i actually have a similar issue with the echo girl/mint eye overlap in zen’s route but that’s a topic for another day lol. so i’m gonna try to delineate between the two a bit more so there’s less overlap.

SPEAKING OF possessive jumin lol... maybe its just my Personal Background bleeding in, but possessiveness is a really big red flag/trigger for me and i felt like it went WAY too far in his route. dgmw, i understand that its meant to be a character flaw and something he’s meant to overcome but i just feel like there are simpler ways to show that side of him without it becoming... as scary as it got. i wasn’t sure how to deal with it though -- i think it would best be expressed through smaller actions and the minutia of dialogue with the others (e.g. jumin refusing to send a photo of you into the chat room when zen asks if you’re alright, locking up elizabeth, etc.)

the canon first kiss with jumin happening both without your explicit consent AND just to drive sarah away is.... icky to me. especially because he MAKES EYE CONTACT WITH SARAH while kissing you??? i hate that cg lol. it just takes what should be a moment about the two of you and turns it into him using you to prove a point and i don’t like it at all. it’s not romantic and it feels... out of character for jumin to use someone he cares about like that. i have similar issues with the proposal happening right after he exposes glam and sarah. so lets make the kiss more genuine and nix the proposal entirely because it happens too quickly for comfort anyways.

with all of that in mind, i decided a fake dating plot would probably work best (and like i said, this is self indulgent and i’m a SUCKER for fake dating stories sooooo). it makes sure we hit all the beats of the glam/sarah plot line without shoving him and the mc into a relationship too quickly. it also means we can keep their first kiss as a big “fuck you” to sarah, but this time mc gets to be 100% in on the joke AND they get to have a “real” first kiss later on! that’s two (2!) kisses for the price of one folks.

i also decided that in order to streamline the plot a bit, the glam and sarah plot should end earlier, allowing for the mint eye plot to take center stage instead of being shoehorned in around a larger love triangle plot line. also glam and sarah are annoying and i don’t want to deal with them for six full days. the only downside is we don’t get to see v dunk on sarah at the party :-(

in lieu of a proposal for the necessary Big Romantic Gesture at the party, i thought it would be nice if jumin whisked you away from the party to paris or somewhere far away for a ridiculously extravagant first date literally in the middle of the party. not only is it ridiculously grandiose in and of itself, but in abandoning the party halfway through, it shows that jumin has grown into a more relaxed and spontaneous person through knowing you! he’s ready to throw caution to the wind and have fun with you (plus, Big Romantic Date cg!!)

day 5:

VN mode where we essentially get the exact same scene of chairman han telling jumin he wants him to marry sarah to make the merger with sugar round go more smoothly BUT this time jumin blurts out that he’s already with someone and that he didn’t want to go public with it yet. he assumes his father won’t press further, given that they’ve always had a mutual respect for one another’s privacy, but at glam’s insistence, chairman han says he wants to meet jumin’s partner. oh no!

jumin laments his situation to the rfa, resulting in pretty typical responses. zen laughs, yoosung is sympathetic but also kind of wishes it were just that simple for him to meet a wife. jaehee is worried that the inevitable fallout of this will result in more work for her. everything is business as usual until seven is like “ur so rich why don’t you just pay someone to pretend to date you lolol” and jumin (being, well, jumin) runs with it 100%. because they don’t have time to vet candidates (they’re supposed to have dinner with his dad tomorrow night!) he decides it should be someone he knows, but the majority of the other rfa members are already acquainted with his father via rfa events, making it more likely that he sees through the ruse. mc, however, has never met him, making them the perfect candidate! who would have thought lol

so they decide to move you into the penthouse that evening BUT before that can happen, they have to clear it with v because bomb, hacker, mint eye, etc. (yes this is how i’m choosing to do the bomb reveal lol). bonus, v gets to chide jumin about his dumb lie and we get a fun bff conversation with them!

final VN where you show up to the penthouse and you and jumin establish the parameters of your “relationship”. you decide that you’ll both sleep in his bed, just in case a cleaning staff member walks in and notices that he and his partner sleep separately and it ruins everything. establish what physical contact is and isn’t cool, etc, etc. you also decide that when the time comes, you’re going to tell his dad that the entire debacle with sarah put so much strain on your relationship that you had to break up. the hope being that chairman han will feel so bad about ruining things for jumin that he won’t try to force him into something like that ever again.

days 6-8:

you have dinner with his dad and answer pretty typical “meeting the parrents” questions. he asks what you guys did for your first date and jumin tells a 100% fake story about taking you to dinner on top of the eiffel tower and kissing you beneath the stars and the chairman is satisfied. that doesn’t mean that glam and sarah are though. they decide to do some sleuthing to prove that you guys aren’t really dating.

this is the fun part where we get to hit most of the beats of ur typical fake dating story! you and jumin get to know each other really well, albeit kind of superficially (favorite foods, fun childhood stories, etc. etc. nothing too heavy yet.) you guys cook together for the first time, cue cg of jumin with like... idk tomato sauce on his cheek or something. you watch a movie together and elizabeth falls asleep on your lap and jumin dies on spot idk

this is also where your first kiss happens, and pretty much in the same way except its much more mutual and he doesn’t look at sarah this time because his focus is on trying to make it look like he doesn’t even care that she’s there because you’re the only thing he cares about. (which.... isn’t actually hard for him to do at all)

chatrooms are pretty typical for this timeframe — you guys all know the drill. the other members are like “wow they seem really close” and speculate on whether or not you guys are actually together. zen is worried that jumin is going to force himself on you (wolves, etc.). yoosung is jealous that jumin gets to hang out with you. jaehee is upset that jumin is neglecting his work.

VAGUE mentions of weird activity on the messenger, but nothing too serious sounding. just enough to make jumin nervous -- esp with sarah and glam on his back still. this is when he locks elizabeth up. 

 day 8, the chairman learns that sugar round is worthless and that glam and sarah have been duping him the whole time. they’re disgraced and are never heard from again so... problem solved but this also means that you and jumin no longer have a reason to stay “together”... and you’re both kind of falling for each other so obviously that’s no good. you spend one last night in the penthouse before resolving to break things off officially in the morning. the other members talk about how sad you guys both seem to be parting.

BAD STORY END 1:

if you shy away at the fake intimate gestures (hand holding, hugging, etc), and pointedly answer incorrectly when asked a question about jumin that you should know the answer to, your ruse fails and you guys are caught faking the relationship. to avoid the scandal breaking to the press, jumin winds up marrying sarah anyways.

the branch point for this one would be right before the kiss scene, if you’re on track for the good end then the kiss happens, if not, you’re forced to shove him away when he goes in for it, revealing to sarah that you guys are frauds.

the cg would be him and sarah at the press release for their engagement announcement. sarah’s all smiles and jumin is... pretty understandably miserable looking. a reporter asks him about the other person he was in a relationship with prior to his engagement to sarah, and he reads off a line about how sarah captivated him like no one else ever could in an emotionless voice.

BAD RELATIONSHIP END 1:

if you do fine during the VN portions, but aren’t active enough in the chats, then the fake relationship plan works, but afterwards its just... really awkward. once the whole mint eye thing ends you’re pretty much just excommunicated from the rfa since you... didn’t really seem to like them all that much.

day 9:

a huge attack on the messenger happens, coupled with explicit threats directed at mc, sending everyone into such a panic that ending your fake relationship is the last thing on anyones mind. jumin is so fucking scared that he’s going to lose you, and muses in the chatroom about why he’s more scared for your safety than he would be if it were, say, yoosung being threatened (cue yoosung’s crying emoji lmao). everyone else is like “well clearly its because you’re in love with them”

anyways. they decide its for the best if you continue to stay at the penthouse and in spite of everything, you’re both... kind of relieved lol. 

everything is all fine and dandy until elizabeth III runs away, ramping jumins anxiety up to 11 like... right away

this is where we really start to see behavior more along the lines of what happens in his route, you suggest the two of you leave and search for elizabeth, and he refuses to let you go, etc. etc. 

it sort of turns into a fight, but it all works out in the end. he tells you about rika and elizabeth and why she means so much to him, and you guys talk about how fear of losing someone important to him can’t rule his life, and that its one thing to be careful, but another entirely to try to control someone else’s behavior because of fear. 

you convince him to get some sleep, assuring him that elizabeth will turn up soon and that he’s going to be alright. you guys fall asleep next to eachother without even thinking about it. its not until jumin mentions something about waking up next to you in the chat the next day that the rest of the gang is like “uhhhh,,,, why are you guys still sharing a bed”

MEANWHILE lol seven and yoosung arrive at mint eye and find elizabeth, just like what happens in canon. they decide to bring her back tomorrow.

BAD STORY END 2:

obligatory mint eye ending. if you’re too aggressive and forward with jumin and don’t give him time to properly process his feelings, he doesn’t offer to let you stay at the penthouse, relying on seven’s assurance that the apartment is totally secure (it’s not). saeran breaks in and takes you away.

this branch happens pretty early in the day, before elizabeth escapes.

i thought about a cg for this one but tbh... there are so many saeran and mc at mint eye BE cgs that idk what i could come up with that wouldn’t be super derivative lol

BAD RELATIONSHIP END 2:

again, because you’re only talking to jumin and not the rest of the rfa, he assumes that you don’t like being in the rfa very much BUT he still likes you... a lot and is very worried about your safety re: hacker, AND because he still hasn’t really dealt with his issues regarding v/rika/emotions, you guys decide to just straight up leave lol. you move to a different country where he can pretty much continue doing his work remotely while keeping you safe.

the cg for this one is the two of you in a different cushy apartment somewhere. you’re making dinner while he works. its... stable, but noticeably stiff. neither of you are talking much and his dialogue is pretty stilted. its pretty clear that he regrets abandoning his friends and is unhappy.

day 10:

3AM chat with zen where he speaks entirely in thinly veiled hypotheticals about you guys. (“well, if i thought i could have a shot with someone i really loved, i think i would take that chance and tell them, even if i might get shot down. and even if that person was a huge ass who my sexy white-haired best friend hated. i would tell them how i felt”)

seven secures the messenger again and the threat is declared neutralized! you’re safe to go home but neither you nor jumin want that at all.

yoosung brings elizabeth back around 9, and it proceeds pretty similarly to what happens in his route: he’s wary about taking her back because he feels that he’s mistreated her, you’re like “whoa buddy you’re going too far in the opposite direction here” and you and v have to convince hm that its going to be okay. the only real difference is that v doesnt also have to convince him to let you go. he just says something about how the two of you seem to bring out the best in each other, and that jumin is brighter when you’re around. 

later, jumin (tries) to make you lunch using the cooking skills you taught him a few days ago as a final payment (since you refused actual money) for all of your help, both with his father and with elizabeth, but he winds up ordering in instead. its very cute BUT its super awkward because neither of you has said anything about not wanting to leave.

finally you have to face the music and pack your bags. you hug jumin goodbye and make him promise to still get lunch with you sometime before heading back to rika’s apartment sadly.

everyone is like “yo what the fuck???” and its actually yoosung of all people who is finally like “this is ridiculous. you two clearly have feelings for each other and you need to deal with it” 

jumin is absent from most of the chatrooms for the rest of the day  though, so he doesn’t really see anything until he forces himself to log on later that night and is like “oh”

and YES of course this is going to culminate in a typical romcom scene where he has driver kim race to the apartment so he can pound on the door and apologize to you and tell you how he feels!! maybe it even happens in the rain just to maximize romance. the important thing here is that you finally kiss him for real this time and its perfect.

BAD STORY END 3:

pretty much jumin’s BE2, if you werent assertive enough with him re: his possession/control issues on day 9, he never gets over them. when elizabeth is returned he locks her back up and insists that you continue to stay with him as well, canon BE2 ensues.

i gotta hand it to cheritz. its a really good bad ending and theres not much i wanna change about it. its so scary in a calm sort of way, which i think is the perfect vibe for a dangerously unhealthy jumin. if only people would stop fetishizing it lolol

party (GE ver):

you and jumin mingle with the guests and the other members for a bit, but as the evening goes on, jumin gets restless. he pulls you aside and tells you that, while you did a wonderful job planning the party, he can’t help but regret that your guys’ first

date is technically a work function. especially when the fake first date you told his father was so perfect. he then decides that the two of you have been there long enough to fulfill your obligations, and that no one could really begrudge you if you “took off” a little early. you guys fly to paris that night and have that dinner on top of the eiffel tower.

the ending cg isn’t a kiss one, but a more simple, sweet one of the two of you in a dimly lit restaurant, jumin listening to you talk with the most tender, loving look in his eyes.

party (NE ver):

you and jumin mingle with the guests and the other members for a bit, but as the evening goes on, jumin gets restless. he pulls you aside and tells you that, while you did a wonderful job planning the party, he can’t help but regret that your guys’ first date is technically a work function. especially when the fake first date you told his father was so perfect. he laments the fact that if he was caught shirking responsibilities to take you on a real date, the press would have a field day with it, but promises to make it up to you, and take you out on a proper one tomorrow.

this cg is the two of you dancing at the rfa party, jumin resting his chin on the top of your head and daydreaming out loud about everything the two of you could do on your real first date.

#jumin stans please dont come for me jfgjflkjlkjdl #jumin han #mystic messenger #mysme jumin

[wilsonsnest]

winter, Sweetheart - VI

this is the part where i go age of ultron? whose ultron? and civil war? idk her. we’re pretty much totally deviating from here on out folks. feat. shit getting real and nat to the rescue.

warnings: sickness, hurt/comfort, bad medical practices

He finally settles them in a Bucharest. Romania, he admits, probably isn’t the safest place for the both of them to hide out. But Sweetheart is getting worse, and he loses strength too quickly to make moving possible. The Soldier - Bucky, now, he’s trying it out still. He tries to fix the Falcon’s wing as best as he can, but he’s no expert when it comes to cyberbionic systems even if he was, the mess of Hydra’s experiments would have made his skills useless anyway. Neither of them really knows how the wings work exactly, and the best he can do is solder any wires that seem to go together and snip any ones that seem to be in the way.

Neither of them are keen to test the results of Bucky’s patch job and so Sweetheart’s wings stay tucked away and covered. He supposes it doesn’t matter anyway, their former “employers” are either dead and on the run. The Soldier and the Falcon are on their own now.

For a short time, things seem okay. Bucky accessed Hydra accounts that even most Hydra techs wouldn’t have a clue about. He’s able to buy them a shitty one room apartment with peeling wallpaper and a creaky wooden floor where the landlord asked zero questions except for cash payment.

He steals painkillers for them both, easier than buying illegally or legally. Both of their flesh bruises and wounds heal fairly quickly though, thanks to the bootleg serum Hydra had pumped them full of. Bucky is in good enough shape, but its the Falcon’s broken wings that are causing the problem. The strain of the pain has reached levels where Sweetheart mostly stays curled up in bed, sweating into the mattress and gritting his teeth in pain. It was running like an infection, but the wound was entirely technological.

The last time Bucky had taken a look, the Falcon had actually whimpered in pain. He didn’t try to touch his wings again after that. At this point, he would only make things worse. Bucky focuses on the things he can do for Sweetheart. He washes him, feeds him and starts hunting for someone who can fix this. He knows there has to be some cowardly Hydra doctor that ran off before everything came crashing down.

But the longer he searches, the worse Sweetheart gets. There are nights when neither of them sleeps. Sweetheart is in too much pain, on as many painkillers as his body can stand and Bucky stays by his side, almost hoping for someone to find them so he can take his anger out on someone.

He gets desperate and he drops a clue. One that only a particular person will recognize.

Bucky waits by the kitchen counter, the windows blacked out and a singular light on near him. Theres a gun stored in one of the kitchen drawers, close enough that he knows he has a 75% chance of getting to it before she can attack him. He stiffens, as the door opens and Natasha walks in, dressed in a tailored pantsuit hands weaponless. Bucky narrows his eyes, and can see the points where she’s hiding her supplies, probably more firepower than he has currently stored in this room.

But theres an uneasy truce here, and they respect one another enough to not greet each other with guns drawn. He’s shot her once before, but he’s also the one who taught her own to survive worse.

She closes the door behind her, but doesn’t lock it. “I was wondering who contacted me. The Winter Soldier,” She gives the civilian clothes he’s wearing a once-over. “or James Barnes.”

“Bucky.” He says tightly, only really sure of that for now. He moves in an arc around the room, careful to face her at all times. He doesn’t want to get too close, but he also wants to be near Sweetheart in case he has to haul him away to escape. The Police could already be on their way.

“I know someone who’d be happy to hear that.” She says softly, and its more genuine than he ever remembers hearing her speak. She tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, no wire. “I can’t guarantee someone hasn’t tracked me here.”

Bucky nods, he knows that. He moves to kneel by the mattress Sweetheart is laying, finally asleep after a long night. His skin is ashen and clammy, sweet dappling his feverish forehead. Even asleep, he shakes. Bucky swallows and gestures toward him, not touching. “He needs help. I can’t… fix this.”

It’s hard to admit this weakness, but he fears the worst if he doesn’t get help. Natasha’s brow furrows, and she takes cautious step forward. She can tell how hard this is for him, how bad it must be if he’s willing to risk asking for help. Her eyes are unreadable, but theres no disgust or anger and Bucky is grateful for that. Natasha never met the Falcon, though their training overlapped at points. Hydra kept the Falcon isolated and even more secret than the Winter Soldier.

“I can call Stark.” Natasha offers quietly. She looks at Bucky now an shakes her head before he can protest. “It’s the only way he isn’t ending up in a jail cell or worse.”

“The Falcon,” The name tastes bitter on his tongue, but he’s never called him Sweetheart in front of anyone before. It would be like a betrayal to do it now. “Has never killed anyone.”

He knows this because he made sure of it. Natasha gives him a plaintive look and raises an eyebrow but Bucky only holds her gaze steady. Eventually she concedes and nods. “It gives us something to work with at least.” The tight spot in Bucky’s chest loosens just a little.

“His name is Sam Wilson.” She adds, dipping her head toward Sweetheart. Bucky just stares at her blankly and she huffs a little. “His friend, Riley, the one whose car you destroyed? He was Sam’s partner in the Air Force. He thought he was dead. He’s looking for him,”

Like Steve’s looking for you. It goes unsaid, but hangs in the air between them.

Still, to know the Falcon’s identity feels surreal to Bucky. It means nothing. As far as Hydra was concerned, Sam Wilson was erased. He has only ever been The Falcon and to Bucky he’s always been Sweetheart. He doesn’t know if he likes how Sam feels yet.

“Do you have a go-bag?” Natasha asks even though she already knows the answer. “As soon as I call this in to Stark, everyone is going to know. Including Steve.”

Bucky grimaces, but he knew that was coming. Even hearing his name makes his head hurt. He isn’t ready to face that yet, or else he would be going with them. He hates the idea of leaving Sweetheart, but can’t handle being around Steve or the rest of them. He glances at Sweetheart, shaking beneath the thin sheet and presses his lips together tightly. He’s never left him not knowing he’d be back. He has no idea when they’ll meet again and it terrifies him. His Sweetheart has been his responsibility for so long, how can he trust anyone else to look after him?

But then Sweetheart moans low in his sleep and rocks a little, trying to soothe his own pain. Bucky moves closer, presses his metal hand against his hot skin. Sweetheart settles and Bucky looks up at Natasha. “Don’t tell him.”

“I can’t lie to Steve anymore.” Natasha almost sounds apologetic, but he can tell shes telling the truth. “And he’s smarter than he looks, he’ll see right through me.”

Bucky ducks his head, but nods, he can appreciate her honesty at least. For a moment he rocks in place and out of the corner of his eye he sees Natasha look away. Grateful, he leans forward and presses his lips to Sweetheart’s temple. A promise that he would see him again. He moves quickly after that, he wouldn’t be surprised if the Avengers are already en route.

He lifts the floorboards to grab his backpack and heads towards the window. He stops and glances toward the Falcon and Natasha. He can’t hide his concern from Natasha though and she carefully moves closer to the mattress.

“I’ll stay with him.” She assures him. Theres a determination in her gaze that makes Bucky want to believe her. “Rileys told us a lot about Sam. He’s a good man. I won’t let anything happen to him.”

Bucky wouldn’t know anything about that, but he does know that the Falcon deserves the chance to be free from whatever Hydra did to him. The truth is, he only really trusts himself as far as Sweetheart goes, but his hands are tied in this instance. He’s kept his Sweetheart’s hands as clean of blood as possibly could and thats all he can really claim. With a final heavy sigh, he slips out and the window and disappears.

#sambucky #winterfalcon #sam wilson #Bucky Barnes #natasha romanov #mcu fanfic #wintersweetheart