#imfuckedup

[ao3feed-tf2ships]

comfort zone

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/53297203

by imfuckedup

Sniper starts to remember moments from when he was dead, one more haunting than the last. He sulks in his van as his repulsion for Medic grows day by day.

Words: 2381, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Team Fortress 2

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Sniper (Team Fortress 2), Medic (Team Fortress 2)

Relationships: Medic/Sniper (Team Fortress 2)

Additional Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Non-Chronological, Post-The Naked And The Dead (Team Fortress 2), Angst, Non-Consensual Blood Drinking

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/53297203

#TF2 Medic #TF2 Sniper #MedicSniper #TF2 Bush Medicine

[just-savannah]

I hate life. And you're right I'm so fucked up not a person one is ever gonna give a fuck about me. I do try. But my efforts ain't enough it is what it is. Lost cause baby. Sorry I wasted your time thinking we could be fixed. Maybe you can. I think I was supposed to be at the bottom in this life. With a bright light sometimes. But it's not for me, that light. It's for others and their sense of purpose. In that I guess I have a purpose. Maybe I'm not meant to be loved. Maybe I don't understand but maybe I'm not supposed to. I'll quit tryna figure that one out. It gets me left behind. It gets me too far along. It never gets me where I'm supposed to belong. Chasing a fantasy, chasing things not even real for me yet. I'm too much and I get that and I'm sorry I'm no damm good. I told you you'd see me. Not just in a room , you'd see the ugly I want to beat the fuck out of everyday in me. The ugly I mistreat. The ugly that I don't want that's just inevitably part of me, which is me. Sorry that I couldn't amount up, I thought I had it I thought I had my hands gripped to never let go, but I didn't know holding on to rope that was soaked in gasoline, set on fire before I ever started to hold, would catch up to me.

I'm always left with scars on my hands from hoping suffocating what I grip on won't turn into ashes. Idk why I never figured out that maybe I'm stupid, try something different. Stop touching shit Savannah you're gonna fucking ruin it. Stop insisting that you know a way, or maybe let's try this cuz I think it'll be a successful way, and I am stupid, I kept on failing at the same attempts..

But I think it's because nobody sat down with me long enough to install other ways into my thinking. Nobody knew how to teach me because I'd make ppl lose their patience with my stupid, not understanding this why why that.

Curiosity killed the cat, but persistence because I couldn't let shit go always left my hands feeling too ugly to hold.

My heart is like my eyebrows but no matter what I pull from it it won't go. It's there, just with tiny holes, idek if it bleeds anymore . I just know that when I met you, you shined so bright you lit up the pits that never thought they'd see light and beautiful rays shone through my cracks, my tiny holes, like the sun beating on the cathedral mosaic's. Shining beautiful things into my darker interior, creating beats I'd never known to exist in there.. creating life to something in me that seemed so dead..

I apologize that my emotional state is as deep. I'm sorry that it also created too deep in other aspects that were toxic.

I'm sorry for loving as much because it drowns you. I didn't see I was really holding you down like that.. I guess I was drowning too, not paying attention.. but it's still no excuse I didn't have to pull you under water too, I didn't have to take my pain and try to make you see where I was by shoving so much in your lungs when I always noticed you were hardly breathing.. holding your breath.. needing something to get the weight of me off your chest and I didn't pay attention.

So I guess I'm saying hypothetically when I think I lose everything I love, I may, but I don't let things that I love breathe.. and I should have understood a long time ago that just because my pain and the way I endured shit made me feel like being suffocated was normal .. didn't mean I should scar anyone else the same way, with things unfamiliar or uncomfortable.

I'm sorry for spending more time being afraid to lose you than just loving you for being here.. I just needed you so bad I knew if I let go, you'd run. Run so fast, you'd forget what my ugly hands felt like.. and I knew if that happened you'd never come back .. but I could have been wrong .. maybe youda came, held my scarred up heart and hands anyway.. but I was too afraid of the alternative.. people who brought me darker things than what was already inside of me left me without any sense of explaining, so I thought that if the brightest thing that ever volunteered to crawl inside of me seen all this dark and all this pain.. why would you dare stay? So I suffocated you.. and I lost. And that's only my fault. And for not considering you in so many aspects I am truly sorry. I'm just damaged as fuck, no excuse.. I'm sorry that I chose you to get this close to.. you deserve more stable, more able. You deserve great things . I love you DJ

Something I wrote to my best friend, who's been my person for years and is brighter than any color yellow could try to be..

#imfuckedup #damaged #toxic #stupid #broken #inevitable #toomuch #TooMuchOfAnythingIsBad #iRuinEverythingIGetMyHandsOn #iloveyou #boom #yellow #MeAndYou #OurRelationshipInABox #imsorry #ineededyou #youneededmore

[be4thevortex]

#hiveswap #dammek hiveswap #tetrarch dammek #jude harley #dammek x jude #judemek #imfuckedup

[bleeding-goldpercs]

How to propose

#percs #opiods #oxytocin #ocy #percocet #drugs #smoking drugs #imfuckedup #perc30 #ilovedrugs #opium #girls who do drugs

[gntlmn1]

A Heavy Heart, 2020. #art #brokenheart #imfuckedup #digitalillustration #surrealism #popsurrealism #spirituality #religion #dreams #nightmares #success #failures #sociallyawkward #blackmentalhealthmatters #arrestthekillersofbreonnataylor #psychedelicart #trippyart #lowbrowart #occultart #iambroken #artxayiti #BlackArtExperience #blackartists #albumcoverart #darkart #ifa #vodou #santeria #lucumi (at Decatur, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCsMDwODofd/?igshid=14a28k1h79mxd

#art #brokenheart #imfuckedup #digitalillustration #surrealism #popsurrealism #spirituality #religion #dreams #nightmares #success #failures #sociallyawkward #blackmentalhealthmatters #arrestthekillersofbreonnataylor #psychedelicart #trippyart #lowbrowart #occultart #iambroken #artxayiti #blackartexperience #blackartists #albumcoverart #darkart #ifa #vodou #santeria #lucumi

[nicotineaddiction]

My mom just told me my grandpa is gonna die soon and I couldn't feel shit, like I couldn't even cry a single tear. And now I look like an asshole but I have just simply pushed my emotions away for so damn long I can not even feel now. I am fucked up, like, damnnn...

#sad #imfuckedup #depression #icannotcry #fuck #ineedmytherapist

[perpetualpainnhunger]

Let me vent, hoe.

I’m fucked up. Alcohol brings the demons in my head out, but i only drink to go out and meet women I’m not interested in. Read it a million times it doesn’t make sense to me neither. I’m broken and lonely. But its the worst kind of broken and lonely, I’m an attractive guy plenty of women were showing me attention tonight but its not the attention i want. I use to be the bang 3 girls a month kind of guy because for whatever reason that’s what makes us worthy or not. Now i really just want someone real and I’m incapable of dating someone like that successfully. I simply cannot get over my exes and i don’t understand. There are 3 that i think about every single day, 2 live out of state and the other cheated on me, almost gave me an STD and broke my heart. I’d probably give all 3 another shot because I’m pathetic and i can’t fall out of love with any of them and that is my problem. How am i going to ever find someone new if i can’t get over all of the old?

#imfuckedup #venting #relationships #broken

[vices-soul]

El amor duele si tu no estas

#photographers on tumblr #photography #love #i hate you #aestethic #aestheitcs #aesthetic #aestehtic #photooftheday #photografy #fuck me life #fuck the life #imfuckedup #teextrañemucho

[lilmisguided]

don’t mix Xanax and achohal or you’ll black out like me and wake up to all the pictures lmao 😩 like that’s not even my fanny but I’m wearing it

#myself #selfie #imfuckedup

[nubbzie]

They come to my place just to listen to this. #chainsmokers #imfuckedup #imfaded #imsocomplicated #imentit (at Farmington, New Mexico) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsw1jiFhpw1/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=go6ryq7oxqgv

#chainsmokers #imfuckedup #imfaded #imsocomplicated #imentit

[im-fucked-up]

— if only you knew —

Man

How much I wanna go over there

How much I wanna scream at you

How much I wanna kiss you

How much I wanna hold you

It’s exhausting

#poetry #poets on tumblr #relationships #breakups #breakupquotes #help #imfuckedup #fucked up #im fucked up

[andthewinner]

. "will you save my life?" or "just say goodbye?" or "all f*cked up!" #graphicdesign #typography #amityaffliction #save #life #goodbye #joelbirch #allfuckedup #tomorrow #panic #depression #hurt #regret #myself #world #words #truth #imfuckedup if I wake up tomorrow just know that I tried to find a way out without saying goodbye all the panic, depression, the hurt and regret lying to myself, "I don't think of death" all the ups, all the downs, all the petty concerns my whole world's imploding, I can't find the words 'cause the truth is, I'm fucked up will you save my life? (or just say goodbye?) (at Kadıköy) https://www.instagram.com/p/CbM0iGAAj7VrQlfqmSwCrRuMzlJqP-OgJyRMZo0/?utm_medium=tumblr

#graphicdesign #typography #amityaffliction #save #life #goodbye #joelbirch #allfuckedup #tomorrow #panic #depression #hurt #regret #myself #world #words #truth #imfuckedup

[kindaline]

I want to listen to Epiphany, but it makes me emotional and i’m not feeling like crying. And if i think about it, Truth Untold was the same and now i can listen to it and be just fine. I’m fucked up...xD

#bts #bts epiphany #shitpost #imfuckedup #kindalinehydlon

[kitty-kat-ty]

Those two made me fangirl and scream like mad 😂😂😂😂 can't deny what I loved their bickery 😍 I never thought I'd ship them XD but both of them in a hut 😂😂😂😂 was funny, fight side by side, saving their asses and drinking sake under the moonlight! 😲 killed me! Although the score was a royal pain in ma bum XD 120k-ish... so much but worthy! #tokugawaieyasu #ieyasutokugawa #slbpyasu #voltageinc #ishidamitsunari #tanuki #fox #tanukixfox #ship #imfuckedup #slbpmitsunari #samurailoveballadparty #tenkatoitsukoinoran #slbp #bratblondie #thattemptingepilogue

#tanuki #fox #tanukixfox #tenkatoitsukoinoran #ieyasutokugawa #thattemptingepilogue #slbp #slbpmitsunari #voltageinc #imfuckedup #bratblondie #tokugawaieyasu #ship #slbpyasu #samurailoveballadparty #ishidamitsunari

[24yourshawtyy-blog]

1:08:05am post

Is it just me, or, at this time I’m most motivated and energetic. Throughout the whole day, I can be tired but when it’s 21:00 I magically gain enormous amounts of energy. 

Physics can’t explain this. 

HELP ME, and my fucked up sleeping pattern. 

right now it’s 01:12:32. 4 mins to write this shit

#send help #imfuckedup #newtotumblr #followforfollow #blogger #hehehe #upallnight #allnighter #sleepingpattern #insomia #maybe #probablynot

[motorob]

😷💢

#Me #Smoke #Smoking #Gay #Glitched #Imfuckedup #Emo #Dedinside