#imagine lily left him for a potter | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

livinginshambles · 9 months

Text

Not ridiculous at all | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: You are part of the marauders, always having felt special when they called you part of the gang, but also consequently too embarrassed to admit to wanting to be more feminine, afraid that they would no longer deem you cool enough to hang out with you. You are hurt by James' comments and James might realise something when you're avoiding him.

Notes: Best friend!James, he's a bit stupid, Lily is a sweet friend, arguments, so maybe a little angsty, but not really, classic cliche tropes like friends to lovers, misunderstandings, pining (I literally just dreamt this so it's a bit patchy) and I know it's very stereotypical but that's why it's just fanfiction :)

(PS) I haven't written before, just wanted to get this out of my system. English is my third language, and this fic is not proofread because I'm way too lazy for that! Enjoy!

Part two Masterlist

__________________

You've grown up with James Potter and have been part of the marauders since the very beginning. You always took 'being one of the guys' or 'part of the gang' as a compliment, it left you feeling giddy as if you were included in some secret group that only you had the privilege of belonging to.

But sometimes you would sit in the girls dormitory and despite your friends laughing and chatting about, you would feel a wave of loneliness wash over you. They often did activities together and by now, 6th year at Hogwarts, they've managed to stop asking you to join them as you've always dutifully replied that it 'wasn't your thing'.

I mean, what would the guys think of you? It would be too embarrassing to admit to them, or anyone for that matter, that you would love to be dolled up for once. To go shopping with your friends, be included in movie nights, asked by Alice if she could test some makeup on you, or read and gossip about the new romance novels that were the new hype.

Especially now when you sat on your bed, part of the circle in which they were discussing plans to go dress shopping.

"You should absolutely join us!" Alice squealed in delight. You were shaken out of your train of thoughts with a huh and realized the conversation had taken a turn somewhere and now included you too. Marlene and Lily nodded fervently in agreement but you bashfully shook your head.

"Nah, can you imagine me in a dress?" You joked, but Dorcas caught the curious and somewhat longing look in your eyes at the mention of getting ready for the Yule ball.

"I think you would look great actually. And besides, you can treat yourself too sometime you know. You're not obligated to stick with the marauders all the time." The girls in the dorm once again all agreed and you smiled at their kindness.

"Since when are you interested in things like the Yule ball?"

You snapped your head up at James to see his questioning eyes and then quickly averted your own in a flustered manner as if one of your greatest secrets had just been uncovered. "I just think it seems nice, that's all, I'm not even going or anything", you defended. You felt slightly embarrassed by James' face which wore a weirded out expression.

"Well you're not really the type to go to such an event anyway right?", James remarked. You did your best to hide your frown at his immediate agreement. Was it that bad that you'd hoped he would say something along the lines of 'what are you talking about, go enjoy yourself at the party' or something like that?

"Besides I can't imagine you in a dress, all made up, it'd just look so ridiculous." James continued. Remus, ever the sweet and attentive boy glanced at you and noticed your slightly sacked shoulders in disappointment at his words.

"I mean you're just not that type of person, you know? Like completely opposite of Lily."

And with that your face felt like it burned from embarrassment. As if you didn't already know. That didn't mean you didn't want to be more like her sometimes.

Peter's eyes flicked with concern from James to you and back.

You felt hurt and forced yourself to stop tears welling up at his words, mustering up a grin, ready to agree with him but were interrupted by Sirius who had now also caught your change in mood.

"Prongs, you really have no tact at all, how are you expecting to even win Evans over with that?" He said in a playful manner as to not offend their whipped friend, but not fully succeeding.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" James looked slightly offended and Remus jumped in the conversation.

"That's just not a nice thing to say. It's different if you call me an ugly toad, but not Y/N! If she wants to go to the Yule Ball all dolled up, she definitely should." He shot you a supportive smile which you returned.

Peter nodded in agreement. "I don't think you'd look ridiculous at all," he told you sincerely. You subtly scooted a little closer to him and Remus.

"But it's Y/N, it'd just look weird, cause she's just not a proper girl like that, no offense." James shot back and gave you a smile at the last two words.

You saw Remus opening his mouth to retort but quickly intervened. "He's right." You told them. You just wanted this conversation to be over with already. It was awkward and painful for you as it was.

James didn't seem to get the memo, however, and kept on going, drilling your confidence further into the ground.

"See, she agrees." He turned to you. "It's not like you're ugly or anything but it'd be ridiculous. Like I said, you're not the type to be all beautiful and dressed up, hair done and all. I mean you're cool, but not pretty like that." He was clearly not done yet and started talking about Lily and her beauty at which point you abruptly got up and left.

"What's gotten into her?" James remarked with a frown.

Sirius and Remus didn't even bother to answer and just stared at him in disbelief.

The girls comforted you as you cried. Marlene barged in with ice cream, stolen from the kitchen in one hand and 5 spoons in the other. "What a jerk." She commented and thrust a spoon in your hand before plopping down in front of you with the rest of your friends.

Lily sighed frustratedly. "See this is why I don't like him at all. He's so rude and arrogant, and he-"

"- is right." You answered dejectedly. "I'm your friend, but not the type to join you guys and belong to your circle."

"Well that's only because you hang around the boys all the time," Alice argued. She nudged you. "But you know what, now that James is being a git, you can hang out with us!"

Dorcas gasped dramatically. "We could do a girls night! Treat ourselves a little", she jumped up. "I'll get the face masks and nail polish!"

Lily let go of you too and told you to sit up. "Come on, let me do your hair," she smiled.

With Marlene feeding you ice cream, your nails being polished by Alice, hair done by Lily and Dorcas reading the latest romance novel out loud while you were all wearing a facemask, you couldn't help but feel all warm inside.

"I love you guys."

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

You laughed and pushed Marlene teasingly off the bed.

"Hey, watch it! I just finished your right hand." Alice complained.

James was a moron. He was kind hearted (to most), popular, captain of the Quidditch team, good looking but a moron nonetheless. So he was absolutely clueless to find you missing from the common room yesterday evening and even more clueless when you were missing from your usual spot next to him at the Gryffindor table in the great hall, because he could not for the life of him think of a reason why you would sit with Alice and Frank instead.

He frowned and felt uneasy at the fact that you hadn't even looked at him, let alone come for a hug with your smile and said 'good morning' like usual. He shook the thoughts away. You were obviously allowed to have your own friends as well and not obligated to spend all your time with him.

The door of the great hall behind him opened and Lily Evans walked in, which was why instead of walking up to you to say something, he habitually turned to Lily instead.

"You look beautiful this morning as usual. I could put in the effort to match you when we go out together?" He shot her a wink and a coy smile but faltered slightly when his attempts at flirting got even less of a reaction out of her than usual.

James turned to Sirius with a questioning look, as if to ask 'you noticed that too right?' but Sirius simply shrugged. When James looked back at Frank and Alice, you were gone, having left the moment you felt his stare.

James started to ponder. 'Were you avoiding him? Surely you wouldn't, right? You two were friends after all, childhood friends. Childhood best friends even, for Merlin's sake! If you were upset with him, you'd definitely let him know.'

A week passed with you, sitting on the opposite sides of the classroom, seemingly having picked partners long before class because how else would you team up with random students before James could even blink?

He had now fully accepted that you were avoiding him. And with that, he meant 'accepting the possibility of that occurrence'. He was by no means going to accept your strange new behavior without doing anything.

The last drop though, was when he heard the news from Peter that you'd already left for Hogsmeade with the girls.

He frowned. 'You were kind', he reasoned. If you were upset with him, then he'd have to apologize. Quickly. Because it's been far too long without his best friend and he realized he missed you. Especially seeing you hang out with others.

"What did I do?" He finally asked his remaining friends.

"Really Prongs?" Remus couldn't help but ask. His friend just gave him a look that said 'well go on then, what is it'.

"How about you think about what you said last week, you know, those rude comments about the Yule ball."

"Yeah, but I already apologized yesterday and told her that I didn't mean to offend her!" James flailed his arms around when he exclaimed it.

"But she's still only hanging out with anyone but me," he whined. "Peter studied with her, Pads got a 'good morning' this morning and you're still talking to eachother.

Remus gave him an unimpressed look at his whining but James was not done complaining yet.

"She keeps spending all her time with the girls while she doesn't even seem to be fully enjoying herself"

This was true. You dearly missed James, so despite your newfound hobbies, a look of sadness sometimes fell over your face, which hadn't escaped James' attention.

"And I just don't understand why she would-" He started but never finished, something dawning on him. "Oh of course! Merlin, I'm so stupid!" He shouted out in epiphany.

"Your words not mine," Sirius quickly took the opportunity.

"Oh bugger off Pads", James laughed and pushed Sirius' arm. And with that, he took off to find you.

Sirius and Remus watched him leave and sighed at the same time. "Do you really think he got it?"

"I bloody hope so, Moony."

"But it's James."

"Yeah, but I mean it's not my fight but even I realize that she's sad that James made fun of the idea of her being more girly when she secretly wants to be. Now she's trying out what she likes, without having to stay within the role of 'one of the guys'. I mean, it's pretty straightforward. I guess a genuine apology and show of support is the solution."

"But it's James."

"Yep, you're right."

Though he hadn't been able to find you, he'd waited patiently for your return in the common room. Staring at the ceiling from his laid back position on the couch.

"Oh there you are, Y/N," He rushed to sit up to face you when you entered the room. If you were surprised by his presence, you didn't show it.

"We need to talk, I wanted to apologize." He breathed out, relieved at himself for having figured it out. "Also, I've missed you so much."

You felt a weight fall off your shoulders. You didn't want to be upset with him and felt incredibly relieved to hear him say that.

"I'm sorry for the things I said. I didn't mean for you to get offended or anything," James began.

"Yeah, you already said that." You frowned. "And I remember I told you that that was not a proper apology."

"I know, I know. It was shitty of me so I wanted to apologize. Properly you know? I'm really really sorry. I was a terrible friend and shouldn't have said the things I said. Please forgive me?" He proceeded to give you Bambi eyes in an attempt to convince you. It unsurprisingly worked.

You softly smiled up at him. "Okay". You barely got the word out before he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

"Great," he said, cutting through the comfortable silence that you two had been hugging in.

"Now you don't have to avoid me anymore, and you can stop sitting with the girls to prove your point, and join us again instead." He triumphantly continued.

What now?

You blanked. "I'm sorry?" You managed to ask.

"I get that I hurt you by saying your weren't a proper girl, but you don't have to pretend to prove your point by trying to be one." James stated, proud of himself that he figured it out.

"Because I can see that you don't like it, like your face gets all gloomy which is understandable because it isn't really your circle of people."

You stared at him, an incredulous look on your face.

"Fuck you James." You said, your voice coming out softer than you'd hoped. Tears were welling up again, but you couldn't help yourself.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I do want that to be my circle of people? That I don't just want to be one of the guys all the time? Is it that crazy to think that I'm still a girl with feelings? That I want to feel pretty too? That I don't like being told by my supposed best friend that I'm basically ugly? That I hate to be compared to other girls like that?"

You were ranting and James had taken a step back, surprised by your outburst.

"No, that's not what I-", James tried to salvage the situation but you weren't having it.

"You've told me that stuff for as long as I can remember and I never told you otherwise because I was scared that you'd no longer want to hang out with me for not being a 'chill friend'. But you know what, I no longer want you to."

At this point, you angrily wiped your eyes to get rid of tears that were threatening to spill. "So fuck you". With that, you brushed past him, escaping upstairs to your room.

James Fleamont Potter felt absolutely miserable.

If anyone told James that you'd ever be more on his mind than Lily, he would call them ridiculous. But here he was, another week had passed and he was staring at your back as you were leaving with your friends for Hogsmeade again.

You weren't wearing your school uniform and robes anymore and James was surprised to see you wearing one of what he knew to be Lily's dresses.

'It suited you more than it suited Lily.' The unwarranted thought flashed through his mind and he shook his head with a scoff to himself. What was going on?

James also noticed that your hair was brushed and shining with a butterfly clip holding your hair in a bun. He wondered when you decided to change your hairstyle because he found that it framed your face perfectly.

'Not ridiculous at all,' he understood.

You looked absolutely perfect.

You turned your face a little and James could feel his head reeling. Have you always been this glowing? Was he just simply missing you? He didn't even realize that he hadn't spared Lily a glance- until Sirius mentioned her while they were having a drink - and a strange feeling washed over him at the thought.

You were running from Filch.

'Fuck I shouldn't have studied after hours, curfew was probably hours ago," you cursed to yourself and took a sharp right turn. You were trying to reach the secret passage right behind the big statue on the fourth floor when you saw the hallway light up because of Filches torch.

Forcing your legs to move faster, you were suddenly grabbed by the wrist. A hand was clasped over your mouth and you felt a heavy cloth fall over you.

You recognised the person pressed to your back immediately and tried not to melt in his embrace as Filch walked straight past the two of you, covered in the invisibility cloak.

You could feel his breath against your temple. His hand had dropped from your mouth, instead draping across your stomach now to rest on your side. The other held out in front of you to create space under the cloak. You shifted a little and finally turned your head and lifted it to look at him and thank him but you were unable to say anything for a moment.

You simply admired him.

The proximity of the two of you in that intimate embrace had something fluttering in your stomach and you harshly jerked away in denial when your feelings hit you.

Oh no.

Now, all suddenly? What changed? Does it really take one random moment to flip your world upside down?

You rushed to push the invisibility cloak out of your way and then left without sparing James another glance.

James couldn't force his legs to move to run after you, still reeling from about the exact same epiphany that you'd just run away from. Your gaze, his fast beating heart and the urge he had felt to lean down for a kiss had confirmed his conflicted feelings of the past few days since he'd seen you leave for Hogsmeade.

The following morning, you'd had the chance to properly process the happenings of last night.

Your conclusion was that you felt guilty that you hadn't even expressed your gratitude. It was rude, you figured. Even if you were overwhelmed by the sudden wave of realization that came crashing down on you, it was rude.

So you pushed your confused feelings aside and marched up to him when you found him in the great hall.

"Thanks, I owe you." You awkwardly said, stopping at his spot at the Gryffindor table. All while absolutely not having forgotten about the fact that the last time you had said something to him, you'd flipped him off and told him to go fuck himself.

James was absolutely beaming. "Yeah you do, but no worries, I'll cash it in right away." This was his chance. He would make up for his behavior and act on his feelings right now.

"How about a date?"

There was a long silence. Your heart plummeted to the ground. Right. James. Lily. Lily and James.

"What am I a magician?" You finally managed to sarcastically retort. "I'm a convincing person but not a miracle worker." You pulled your hand through your hair as you looked around the great hall to see if you could spot Lily.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do." You forced a smile.

James, who had been mostly confused at your words, disregarded it completely in delight at your acceptance to go out with him, even if it seemed somewhat reluctant. Not that it would matter because he was going to prove what an amazing boyfriend he could be. If you'd accept him, of course.

He was grinning from ear to ear, which you mistook as excitement at the prospect of a potential date with Lily. So when you abruptly turned on your heels and marched over to Lily, James watched you confusedly.

And when he heard you try to talk Lily into going out with him, he wanted to crawl in a ditch and die. He stood there, frozen and recounting how you could've interpreted that wrongly.

You returned to him after a while with an apologetic smile. "Yeah sorry Prongs, she-"

"You", he blurted out.

You raised your eyebrows. "Me?" You repeated back.

"The date, I meant you. A-and me of course. Us, like you and me on a date. Together. I thought maybe Hogsmeade?" He managed to force the words out nervously.

There was a long silence and James' shoulders slumped a little. Even more when you finally answered.

"Uh, no?" You said in a questioning manner. James officially wanted to die now.

"You're sweet James, and I don't think you do it on purpose but you're not interested in me like that." You began, trying to convince not only James, but yourself as well.

James opened his mouth to argue but you quickly interrupted him before he could properly do so.

"James, you really don't. And you asking me out on a date when you've quite literally been drooling over Lily just last week as you have been doing for the past 5 years, that's not very nice to me." You frowned.

"Oh." He whispered. He was once again at a lack of words for a moment. Terrible new habit, he thought. This was not how he thought it would go.

"I'd still gladly go with you to Hogsmeade though?" You offered. "Just you know, not as an easy second choice date while you are obviously head over heels with her."

'I'm not', he wanted to tell you, but it was obvious that you wouldn't believe him. "Yeah okay," he weakly smiled. "Just the two of us though."

You nodded and stepped forward, wrapped your arms around him and he leaned into you, returning the hug.

With his face pressed in your hair, eyes closed, he decided that this situation wasn't too bad. He's fought for Lily's affection for years. He'd fight harder for yours.

Part two

#james potter x fem!reader #james potter x reader #james potter imagine #marauders era #marauders #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #james potter fluff #james potter angst #james potter fic

3K notes · View notes

moonlightspencie · 5 months

Text

only like you can

Description: based on ‘already over’ by sabrina carpenter— ex boyfriend!james and reader just can’t seem to stay away from each other.

Pairing: James Potter x fem!Reader

Warnings: some suggestive content (pg-13 pretty much), angst with a happy ending, lily evans is mean in this one for the plot

Word Count: 7.9k

A/N: aging them up to allow for the suggestive content. they’ll be 19 in this (first year starts at 14 instead of 11)

here’s the playlist

Running through the halls as a first year with your brand new group of friends, you never would imagine you’d end up dating one of them. You definitely never thought you’d have a break-up with one of them.

But, you just had to fall for Jamie in your third year. And he just had to ask you out in fifth. You were blindsided by his confession in the best way, and falling into a relationship with your closest friend was as easy as falling asleep.

Overexcited hugs after he’d win a quidditch game turned into kisses. Whispers of goodnight as you headed off to different rooms turned into sneaking into one another’s beds. The casual ‘I love you’ between friends turned into a kind of love that had both of you thinking about the future.

But, things changed again after a year.

Accusations started getting thrown around left and right. He’d say that you weren’t making time for him anymore. You’d argue that he seemed more interested in spending time with Lily. A back-and-forth would always spread like wildfire until you couldn’t breathe.

The break up was mostly mutual. You said you wanted it to happen, but you knew you were lying to yourself. He agreed, but it was only because he didn’t want you to know he was still invested. It left both of you putting happy faces over broken hearts, agreeing that you’d still be friends despite the fact that you knew you’d never get over him if he stuck around. But, never getting over him still felt better than losing him entirely.

You were sat in the common room, laughing over some dumb joke Sirius had made at Lucius Malfoy’s expense. The fire was blazing, keeping you all warm in the late-autumn that was otherwise freezing. You were next to James on the couch, Sirius was on the floor in front of the fire, and Remus and Peter were in a couple of chairs. It was nice. Cozy. But, coming down from your laughter, you let your head drop to the side, finding a familiar comfort.

Remus looked at you as you did, quirking a brow. You’d landed on James’ shoulder.

“You two back together?” he asked.

“Oh,” you said, quickly lifting your head again. “Sorry, Jamie.”

He shook his head. “It’s alright. Habit.”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

A tense silence fell over the small group. Then, James stood.

“I’m going to grab a sweater. Be right back,” he announced, walking towards the stairs.

You looked after him until he was out of your sight, turning your head to find three pairs of eyes on you.

“Love,” Sirius said cautiously, almost grimacing.

“I know,” you sighed, leaning back into the couch. “I know. I just— It’s hard.”

He sighed, moving from his spot to sit in James’ spot on the couch. He tossed an arm around your shoulders, squeezing you into his side a little.

“Might help if you two quit finding ways to be next to each other every time we go someplace,” he said quietly.

You nodded. “I know.”

“Why did you two break up if you both clearly want to be around each other all the time?” Peter asked, furrowing his brow.

“We weren’t good together.”

The three boys shot each other similar looks, knowing there was nothing they could say to help you in that moment. You merely sighed, staring into the fire as Remus tried to redirect the conversation.

James came back a minute later as they chatted over some fiasco in Potions class, a sour look on his face when he saw Sirius had taken his spot. His brow only set harder when he saw the arm around your shoulders. He sat in another chair, following your gaze into the fire, not wanting to look at his best friend and now-ex-girlfriend practically cuddling. It made him sick.

You didn’t feel much better, noticing him looking so downtrodden and being unable to kiss away that frown of his.

But you had to remind yourself of why you broke up in the first place. ‘It’s for the better’, you kept repeating to yourself in your head, trying to block out how badly you wanted to just talk to him. It was getting ridiculous, you knew that. It didn’t make it any easier, though.

“I think I’m ready for bed,” you mentioned after half an hour of sitting quietly.

A small chorus of ‘goodnight’ followed you to the stairs, and you trudged up to your room, feeling gloomy. You brushed your teeth, washed your face, and pulled on your pajamas. It was days like this that you were glad you got a single room for the year. You settled into your bed, cracking open the book on your nightstand to practice a little escapism. You were two chapters deep when you heard a knock on your door.

You crawled out of bed, rubbing your eyes as you went to open the door. When you pulled it open, your eyes went a little wider.

“Hey,” James said, looking shy.

You swallowed. “Oh. Hi.”

“Could we talk? Please?”

You contemplated it for a moment, trying to tell yourself it was a bad idea. But it was late. And you missed him. And you really didn’t want to turn him away.

“Yeah. Come in,” you said quietly, a small smile on your face.

He walked in slowly, unsure, as if he hadn’t spent the entirety of the past year sneaking in every other day. You looked at his back for a moment, noticing him with his hands up in front of his stomach.

“Don’t pick at your nails, Jamie,” you said, moving around him to sit on your bed.

He chuckled softly. “How’d you know? You couldn’t even see my hands.”

“How wouldn’t I know?”

His smile faded a bit at that. “Right.”

You sat quietly for a minute, practically hearing the gears turning in his head. He stared out the window in your room, his brows a little furrowed.

“What is it, James?”

His eyes snapped to yours. He sighed, looking at your bed.

“Can I sit?” he gestured next to you.

“Yeah,” you nodded, scooting to give him some more room.

He sat, looking around at anything but you.

“What’s up?”

He shrugged. “Uh, I don’t know. It’s probably nothing, you know.”

“You came to talk to me about it.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, chuckling to himself humorlessly. “I don’t want this to come across weird.”

“It’s fine, James. I’m used to you.”

He smiled, though it dropped quickly. “Is there something going on with you and Padfoot?”

Your eyes went wide, a laugh escaping you.

“Excuse me?”

“He took my spot on the couch. Kinda cuddling you.”

“James,” you said, getting his attention. “That’s insane. He sat with me because I was sad. He was being a friend, like every other time he’s hugged me or comforted me.”

He nodded, letting out a breath. “Sorry. Just got a little paranoid, I guess.”

“That’s okay. I get it.”

He swallowed. “Do you not want to be around me?”

“Why would you ask that? We agreed to be friends after…”

“I know, but I just don’t know how to act around you now.”

You took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to do this, either. We’re in a weird place, now.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out.

You looked at him for a moment, and he shot you another shy smile. It was strange to see him so timid, but you couldn’t help but smile back. Even acting so strangely, he was still the same old Jamie.

“Is that all? I’m pretty tired.”

He nodded. “Oh, yeah. That’s it. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s okay.”

He started standing, and you walked him to the door. He suddenly pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly to his chest. You leaned into him, relishing in that feeling while you could. He pulled away, opening your door.

“Night, Jamie.”

“Goodnight,” he smiled, not moving.

He quickly leaned down, just barely pressing his lips to yours, but it was enough to send your heart fluttering. He pulled back as quickly as he leaned in, muttering a quick ‘sorry’ before leaving. You shut your door, the tension in your body finally releasing. You fell into a restless sleep that night.

The following week felt as difficult as the first week after the break up. Sirius and Remus would try to comfort you, and Peter would offer silly jokes to stop you from looking so sad all the time.

You’d gone to dinner with Remus and Peter after they’d pleaded with you that night, figuring you still needed to eat despite your feelings. No sense in making yourself feel even worse if you could help it.

Dinner was surprisingly good. You laughed with the two boys, almost forgetting about your troubles as you chatted with them. Until you heard a pretty loud mention of ‘James’ coming from a few people down the table.

You paused, listening when you heard his name come out of Lily’s mouth. You focused hard on your plate, hoping she’d keep up her volume. Yeah, it was probably wrong to snoop, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care all that much.

“… Maybe this weekend,” she said, a few giggles coming from her friends. “He always goes to Hogsmeade on Sunday afternoons.”

“Now that he doesn’t have that girl hanging on him, you actually might have a chance,” one of her friends added in, to which you clenched your jaw in annoyance.

“Maybe. He’s been pretty off since they broke up.”

“Good,” another girl added. “It probably means he needs a reason to move on.”

You decided you’d heard enough, standing from your spot.

“Where are you going?” Peter asked, looking to Remus with a frown.

“Common room. I’ll see you guys soon,” you said, waving a goodbye to both boys.

You were fuming as you walked back to the common room. It hurt more than you thought it would to think about him with anyone else, but especially her. You’d never been too sure about her intentions with the friendship she had with James, and this just solidified your concerns. Not to mention, her friends clearly didn’t like you. You didn’t even know them, and they had to nerve to talk about you like you were merely an inconvenience the whole time. You were stewing in that feeling, trying not to let it affect you too much, and failing miserably. You didn’t even notice your name being called behind you.

“Y/N,” he called again.

You looked up, turning towards James’ voice. His face dropped when he saw you.

“Hey,” he said, rushing forward to you. “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head. “Just upset.”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

He sighed, leaning over to catch your eye. You chewed on your lip, the pit in your stomach only growing. You couldn’t stop thinking about Lily’s plan for the weekend, especially now that you were face to face with him.

“It matters to me,” he said softly. “Please? I just want to help.”

“You can’t help, Jamie,” you shook your head.

He was silent for a moment, thinking. You fiddled with your hands, looking down at your shoes. He called your name again, quietly, to get your attention. You looked up, heart still fluttering when you looked in his eyes.

“How about we go steal some of Mooney’s chocolate and just sit for a while?” he offered. “Then, maybe we can talk later?”

You couldn’t help but smile a little at the suggestion. You didn’t even think it could be considered stealing anymore. Remus always stocked up extra on his desk, knowing his roommates were prone to grabbing some every now and then.

“I’m taking that smile as a ‘yes’,” he said, a smile growing on his own face. “Come on.”

You walked alongside him as you headed towards Gryffindor tower, holding yourself back from taking his hand. Particularly flexing your self-control muscle when his fingers would brush softly against the back of your hand.

“You know, he just got some with caramel in the middle,” James mentioned as you climbed the stairs.

“Yeah? Are they any good?”

“Mm,” he nodded enthusiastically. “Very. I think you’ll like them.”

You laughed. “Sounds like you do, doesn’t it?”

He snorted a laugh. “How’d you tell?”

“It’s my sixth sense.”

“Sure, it is,” he responded. “I always thought it was knowing when I was picking at my nails.”

“See, that’s just me knowing you after all these years. Bit different.”

He chuckled, saying the password to let you into the common room. The portrait swung open, and he snuck you up to the boys’ shared room.

“Here we are,” he said mischievously, walking towards Mooney’s desk.

You shut the dorm door, walking over as he handed you a few chocolates.

“Thank you.”

“Thank Mooney,” he said, smirking. “Let’s sit. Come on.”

You took a breath, sitting with him on his bed. It all felt okay, until you remembered why you were there in the first place.

You opened the wrapping on one of the chocolates, popping it in your mouth silently. James watched you, sighing softly when you didn’t say anything after a few minutes.

“Don’t like when you’re quiet like this,” he mumbled. “Scares me.”

“Scares you?” you questioned.

“Well, last time you were quiet like this, we had a conversation that…” he shrugged. “It wasn’t very fun, was it?”

You hummed. ‘Not very fun’ was an understatement. The day you broke up, you sobbed until you threw up.

“Sorry,” you said. “I could start yelling if you’d like?”

He laughed. “Don’t think I’d like that much, either.”

You smiled, though it was half-hearted. He could tell.

“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

You shrugged. “I’ll just have to get over it. I don’t think there’s much to talk about, honestly.”

“Alright,” he conceded. “Would it make you feel better to… I don’t know. Read?”

“You’d read?” you asked, amused.

“No, I’d made you read to me,” he said, nudging your shoulder with his.

“Don’t know if I’m up to that, right now.”

“Later?”

“When?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow?”

“What’s today? Friday?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

You considered it, liking the idea of spending more time with him despite how bad of an idea it was to be alone. Especially after last time.

Then, a worse idea came to mind.

“How about Sunday?”

He raised a brow. “Sunday?”

You nodded. “If that’s okay. I know that’s a Hogsmeade day, but everyone will be out of the castle. We’d get to sit by the fire in the common room. It would be nice and quiet.”

He cracked a small smile. “That does sound nice. Can I pick the book?”

“Of course,” you nodded.

You knew it was a little underhanded, taking him away from Hogsmeade for the day. It was really just a form of delaying the inevitable. He was bound to move on eventually. But why did it have to happen that weekend? He could wait a little bit longer, you reasoned.

Though, you still knew the real reason was that you would do anything to keep him from hanging off of someone else’s lips. You didn’t quite care if it was a bit selfish.

Saturday came and went. Sunday morning you woke up with a small smile on your face. Despite the fact that it may have been a bad idea to set aside alone time with your ex, especially just to get him away from another girl, it felt nice to relish in the familiarity of being with him.

Hours later you were curled up on the couch with James looking over your shoulder as you read to him. He’d make a stray comment here and there about the plot or laugh at the jokes, but was otherwise surprisingly tuned in. You were halfway through when he yawned.

“Tired?” you asked, pausing your reading to look up at him.

“A bit,” he shrugged. “Didn’t sleep much last night.”

“Oh.”

You furrowed your brow as you looked away, then glanced back at him.

“Everything okay?”

He nodded, a smile creeping onto his face. “Just too excited for you to read to me, I bet.”

You chuckled, ignoring the heat in your cheeks as you turned back towards the book, ready to start reading again. Then, he started shuffling around.

“What are you doing?” you asked with a sigh.

“Gonna lay down,” he shrugged, “Can I…”

He paused, scrunching up his face a bit. You watched him, questioning.

“Can you what?”

“Probably a bad idea,” he said shortly, shaking his head.

“Just tell me.”

He looked a little shy as he glanced at you. “Was gonna ask if I could lay on your lap.”

“Oh,” you said, nodding once. “Well, as long as you don’t try any funny business, I don’t see why not. It’s preferable to you putting your feet on me if you lay the opposite way.”

He laughed. “I suppose that’s true.”

He waited another moment, then started laying down, his head resting on your legs. Once he was comfortable, you started reading again. After a while, you weren’t even sure if he was awake anymore.

Even more time passed, and you heard him softly snoring, a smile on your face as you looked down at him, one of his hands having squeezed it’s way under your leg. You ran a hand through his hair absentmindedly, continuing your reading silently.

An hour later and you were finished with the book, your hand still brushing through his hair as a habit. You watched him for a few minutes, letting out a soft breath.

“Jamie,” you called quietly, the hand in his hair moving to brush across his cheek. “James.”

He stirred, groaning. “Mm?”

“You fell asleep,” you said with a grin. “I let you nap for a little over an hour, but if you want to sleep tonight you should probably wake up.”

He grumbled, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand. “Don’t wanna get up.”

“Always so grumpy when you wake up,” you mumbled, more to yourself than anything. “Come on, Jamie. We can go snag some tea or go for a walk or something.”

He sighed softly, stretching out a little bit before he started moving away from your legs, pulling his hand out from under your thigh. He started sitting up, not realizing he was terribly close to you until you were looking at one another, feeling his gentle breathing fan on your face. You swallowed, trying hard not to glance down at the lips you knew were soft and skilled.

He didn’t care to try so hard.

He leaned in before you knew what was happening, kissing you like it was the first time. His hand came up to cradle your face, tilting your head to allow him to deepen the kiss, his tongue soft against your lip as he waited for you to grant him access. It certainly didn’t take you long to oblige him.

He leaned his body into you, and eventually started pulling you underneath him, your head hitting the couch cushions as he settled in between your legs. It was all desperation and passion as his hand slipped up under your top, brushing over the fabric of your bra to squeeze gently at your breasts. You leaned into his touch, soft noises escaping you and going directly into his mouth.

You felt his chest heaving against your own as you kissed, his hips rolling against you, desperate for friction that he’d missed for so long. Desperate for you.

You bit at his lip, breaking away only to kiss down his jaw. He hummed softly in satisfaction, but grew impatient, moving to capture your lips with his own once again.

It was only when a real moan managed to leave you and linger in the air that his hand stopped groping at you. His lips slowed, and he finally broke away, catching his breath like he’d been underwater.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, the words rushed. “I shouldn’t have done that. Again.”

“Not your fault. I kissed you back.”

He chewed at his lip. “We should really stop this before it starts happening more.”

“We should,” you nodded.

He swallowed, eyes roaming over your face. You leaned up, capturing his lips again, this time gently. He allowed it, though this kiss lasted a much shorter time than the previous.

“Maybe we should take that walk,” you said, trying to break the tension.

“Might need to wait a few minutes, love,” he said, not-so-subtly glancing down at his pants.

You laughed, though you felt that funny feeling in your stomach when he called you ‘love’ again. You followed his gaze, raising your brows.

“Yeah. Probably don’t want to go around like that just in case. Not exactly hard to miss,” you snorted.

He rolled his eyes, sitting up straight. You watched him, moving to sit back up yourself. He stared ahead at the fireplace.

“Stop looking at me,” he said, not even glancing in your direction.

“What?” you laughed.

He glanced at you. “It’s not helping my little situation, you know?”

“Me looking at you is making it worse?”

“You existing is hard enough to ignore when I get like this,” he said with a laugh. “Not to mention when you can… You know. See it.”

“Well, I can’t exactly see it. You do still have pants on, you know?”

He chuckled, though he hid his face in his hands as his cheeks turned pink.

“Stop giving me ideas. It’s not fair, love.”

“Alright, alright,” you conceded, ignoring your own… feelings. “I’ll be quiet and look away.”

He nodded, shutting his eyes and letting his head loll back on the couch. You tried hard not to think about how effected he was, and tried even harder not to think about how effected you were. You stared at the window nearest to you, thinking about absolutely anything else. After a few minutes, he sighed.

“Okay. I think I’m good, now.”

You laughed, pulling him off of the couch and pulling on a sweater you’d brought along. You left the common room together, meandering in the halls talking about nothing. Before you knew it, more voices were joining your two in the corridors.

“Oh boy,” you said softly.

“What?”

You looked at James. “You really want to run into our friends right now?”

He hummed, then opened his mouth to speak. Only very briefly, though, as a familiar face came into view.

“James,” Lily beamed, ignoring your presence entirely. “We missed you in Hogsmeade. Why did you stay behind?”

James looked at you, quirking a brow curiously when she said ‘we missed you’. She’d never exactly been in the marauders group during Hogsmeade outings, and both of you knew it.

“Was just busy,” he shrugged.

“Too busy to hang out with us?”

“Who’s ‘us’?” James laughed. “Did you join in with the boys today?”

“No,” she shook her head. “Just… Thought it might be nice if you would have been around so we could have spent some time together.”

You held yourself back from rolling your eyes as she looked at him, twirling her hair almost cartoonishly as she spoke.

“Maybe some other time,” he said simply. “Had more important things to do today.”

“Aw,” she cooed, laughing to herself. “More important than me?”

You chimed in. “Ooh, with an ego like that, maybe you should try spending time with Sirius.”

James snorted a laugh, though Lily didn’t think it was quite so funny.

“At least I’m not hanging off my ex boyfriend.”

You furrowed your brow, ready to throw an insult right back at her.

“Why is that your business?” James said quickly. “We’re still friends. Friends are known to hang out, you know?”

She ripped her sour gaze from you, looking surprised that James would defend you. He didn’t give her time to reply, taking you by the arm and dragging you away from her before you did something he knew you’d regret. You huffed a sigh.

He started walking you towards the kitchens, you were sure, to get you some tea. You crossed your arms when he finally let you go, once again stewing in your annoyance.

“Trouble in paradise?” you asked, seemingly unable to hold your tongue.

“What?”

“Why did you defend me?” you asked. “I thought you and Evans were like… Involved.”

“Why would you think that?” he asked incredulously.

“After everything…” you stopped. “For one, she sure seems to think you’re an item. Or at least that you will be very soon.”

He sighed harshly. “I know you were always on edge about her, but you know I’ve never felt that way.”

“I was right to be on edge.”

“Why? I never would have done anything.”

You shrugged. “Freaked me out how much she liked you. And how much she hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“Yes, she does. Her friends all gossip about me, you know? Like I’m just some obstacle standing in the way of you two getting together.”

“I don’t think that’s—”

“I heard it, James.”

He paused before you entered the kitchens, his brow set.

“What do you mean?”

You let out a breath. “Promise you won’t be mad at me?”

He merely raised his brows in question, waiting for your explanation.

“They were talking a few days ago during dinner and thought I couldn’t hear them. They were saying that you’d be easy to bag now that I’m not around and you’re, like… emotionally compromised.”

“Emotionally compromised?”

“Not in those words, but… Yeah. That was the jist of it.”

He shook his head. “Why would they say that?”

“Because she’s always been into you, James. It’s why I didn’t like you guys together all the time, it made me feel really insecure.”

He had the decency to look a little guilty before he perked back up.

“Wait, why would I be mad at you for that?”

You sighed, wishing you could avoid this particular bit about what you’d overheard.

“She, uh,” you looked away. “She was planning on making a move on you today. That’s why her friends were talking about you.”

“And?”

“And, I might have asked you to stay behind today because I knew about her plan.”

The wall to the side of you looked very interesting in that moment. So interesting, in fact, that you didn’t notice the smirk on James’ face until he started speaking.

“You made me stay back to read with you so Lily couldn’t try to… what? Stare at me all afternoon?”

You frowned deeper seeing the teasing look on his face.

“She’d probably try more than staring.”

“Oh? What, like snogging on the couch and letting me feel you up? Didn’t want something like that to happen?”

You smacked his arm. “Asshole.”

He shook his head, tucking you under his arm as he ushered you to the doors.

“Can’t believe you sabotaged her.”

“So you think—”

“I think it’s kinda hot.”

You bit back a smirk, shaking your head. “Shut up.”

Almost two weeks later and you felt more down than ever. After your tea, you’d had another conversation about how you really shouldn’t be alone like that. You knew it was for the best, but it still hurt to reinforce the idea that Sunday would be nothing more than a post-break up slip-up. James himself started to say it was mistake. He only stopped when he saw your face drop, changing his wording, but still meaning the same thing. You tried shaking it off, but you couldn’t stop the memories of how it felt to be under him again.

Though, it turned out that James wasn’t having it any easier.

“What’s been wrong with you, mate?” Remus asked, walking towards his bed.

James turned his head to look at his friend, his cheek still squished into the pillow.

“I don’t know. I just feel awful.”

Remus sat on the edge of his bed. “You’ve been really off the past two weeks. Something happen?”

James shrugged, not responding.

“You know you can talk to us? Better than rotting away in bed all day.”

“I don’t know, Mooney,” James said, shoving his face back into his pillow. “I just miss her.”

Remus huffed a sigh, patting his friend on the back.

“I know you do.” He readjusted his seat on the bed. “Have you talked to her about, well, anything?”

“Yeah, we tried,” James replied, though he knew that it didn’t exactly go to plan when he did. “Doesn’t make it hurt less.”

“Do you want to opt out of the prank tonight? The boys would understand if you didn’t want to be around her.”

“No,” he said quickly, lifting his head. “No. I want to be there.”

“Alright. You’ll have to get out of bed for that, you know?”

James snorted, pushing Remus off his bed.

“Ah, screw off, Moons.”

Remus chuckled to himself. “Dinner is starting soon if you want to eat. She’ll be there, but we can keep you guys apart.”

“I don’t think being apart is helping.”

Remus looked on, disagreeing, but not willing to argue. “Alright. Well, get ready. I’m going to walk over in ten minutes.”

Remus left the room, heading off to wait in common room to give James some privacy. He was leaned against the back of a couch, fiddling with the edge of his sweater, when you slid next to where he stood.

“Hey, Mooney.”

He smiled. “Hey.”

“Are you going to dinner soon? I was thinking of heading down.”

He nodded. “Waiting on Prongs.”

“Ah,” you nodded. “He okay? He wasn’t in Defense Against the Dark Arts today. Not like him to skip that class.”

Remus swallowed. “He’s been a little under the weather.”

“Oh. That’s too bad.”

“Yeah. He’ll be okay, though.”

You sighed. “Is he coming tonight, still?”

“Mhm,” he nodded. “Just asked him.”

“Okay.”

“Is that… Okay with you?”

You looked at him with wide eyes. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

He gave you a knowing look, nudging your arm with his own.

“You’ve been a little sad lately. I can tell,” he said quietly. “Think I know why, too.”

You hummed. “I’ll be fine. Just difficult right now.”

“If you ever need anything…”

“I know,” you laughed. “Promise I’ll tell you if I do.”

He smiled, turning back forward and crossing is arms. You waiting in a comfortable silence, though you stood noticeably straighter when James came down the stairs. He stuttered in his steps when he saw you, a shy smile immediately on his face.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Jamie,” you said, returning his smile.

Remus looked between the two of you seemingly in a staring contest for a few seconds before clearing his throat. You both looked at him, clearly a little embarrassed.

“Ready, you two?”

“Yeah,” you said as James merely nodded.

You walked to the great hall in an obviously-tense silence. Remus was starting to regret getting James out of bed, the whole group feeling a little awkward as neither of you could keep your eyes off each other.

“Geez,” Peter started, clearly not reading the room. “You two didn’t stare at each other this much when you were dating.”

Sirius slapped him on the shoulder, shaking his head. You were hoping they’d eat a little faster so that you didn’t have to sit across from James anymore, even though you never minded the view.

Your wish came true, but you weren’t sure if you were in a better position, now. You’d gone back to the boys’ dorm to plan out the prank: turning the black lake blue. What you hadn’t anticipated in this plan was that one of the more uptight prefects would be wandering around the lake when you’d done your magic on it.

You were currently running through the trees, trying to get out of the sight of the boy. Though, at some point James had taken your hand, dragging you behind him. You chocked it up to a force of habit, as you found yourself doing quite often since you’d broken up. But you weren’t sure how much you could blame on habit as he pinned your back against a tree, staring down at you like he was going to kiss you again.

“Jamie—”

“Shh,” he shook his head, bringing a finger to his lips.

You waited in a tension-filled silence, hearing footsteps zoom past, just far enough where you wouldn’t get caught if you stayed still. You stood and listened until you were sure you were in the clear. But James didn’t move.

“He’s gone,” you whispered.

“Yeah.”

“We could go.”

“We could,” he nodded in agreement.

You looked up at him, admiring his features lit up in the moonlight. Your next move you’d blame entirely on gravity. It was magnetic, the way you came together. Neither of your faults, really.

Or so you told yourself.

You kissed him against that tree for far too long, feeling giddy and breathless when you finally pulled away.

“Bad idea,” you stated.

“Really bad idea,” he nodded. “Couldn’t help being alone this time, though. I don’t think it’s our fault.”

You chuckled. “You sound like me.”

“Not a bad thing, I don’t think.”

You shrugged, looking at him with stars in your eyes. You tried thinking of anything to talk about to keep your mouth busy.

“Full moon is coming up.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Mooney started feeling a little sick this morning. Probably’ll get worse the next couple days.”

“Right. You three going with him, again?”

“Yeah,” he nodded again. “You’ll be there to patch us up if we need it, again?”

“Always.”

He smiled, eyes flicking down to your lips again.

“Jamie, don’t do that,” you shook your head.

“Why not? I’ve missed you so much.”

“I know,” you melted a little. “I have too, but if you keep looking at me like that, we won’t just be kissing.”

He raised his brows. “I wouldn’t mind that.”

You chuckled, a smile on his face as he watched you.

“That’s the kind of bad idea I think we couldn’t bounce back from so easily.”

He hummed, jokingly discontent. Though, he did plan on keeping the thought of what could have been in his head for when he was alone. He moved away from you, holding out his hand.

“Let’s go back inside, yeah?”

You nodded, taking his hand and letting him lead you back towards the castle. That Saturday morning he’d come back unscathed from their time during Remus’ transformation. They surprisingly all had, much to your delight. All that had to be down was getting Remus into bed so that he could sleep it off as the morning came around.

You walked into their room that afternoon to find Remus, passed out, tangled up in his blankets. You smiled, leaving a fresh cup of water on his nightstand for when he woke up. All of them seemed to be asleep. It had been a long night.

You leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Remus’ forehead, then turned to leave.

“Y/N?”

You turned back around, replying in a quiet voice. “Oh. Hi, Jamie. Why are you awake?”

“Dunno. Just couldn’t sleep since we got back.”

You hummed. “I’m sorry.”

“S’okay,” he mumbled. “You do the work for potions yet?”

You shook your head. “No. Not yet.”

“Would it be okay if we…” he started asking, looking at you fully as he sat up. “I don’t understand it. I could use some help.”

You smiled softly. “Of course. I can go get my stuff—”

“I could just come with you,” he said quickly. “Don’t want to wake the others, anyway.”

You nodded. “Okay. Yeah, that’s fine.”

He trailed after you sleepily, and you wondered why he’d want to even try to write an essay running on no sleep. It seemed silly at best, and was outright counterproductive.

He sat in your bed, rubbing at his eyes as he tried listening to you explain what you needed to do for the essay.

“Jamie, I don’t think you’re absorbing any of this,” you said with a light laugh.

He cracked a small smile. “Your bed is too comfy. I always wanna fall asleep here.”

You sighed. “Why don’t you take a nap, then? I can finish my essay and help you when you wake up.”

“You sure you don’t want to lay down, too?”

You snorted. “That’s asking for trouble.”

“Just for a little? Promise I’ll do the work later,” he said, giving you wide, pleading eyes. “You always help me sleep better.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

You set aside your work, laying next to him, pulling a blanket over both of you. He smiled as you snuggled into the pillow.

“What?” you asked.

He shrugged, the smile stuck on his face. “Nothing.”

You closed your eyes, feeling his arms pull you into his chest, but choosing not to say anything about it.

You woke half an hour later, and, as promised, James worked on his essay with you.

It became habit. Every Saturday you’d meet up to work on homework. A way to be together without being together. You mostly held back from kissing him, but he couldn’t always say the same. Then, inevitably, every Sunday you’d feel your heartbreak as you’d have the same conversation about how bad of an idea it was to keep doing this every week.

But you couldn’t stop.

Another weekend, another opportunity to pretend like you the study date in James’ room wouldn’t take a turn. You sat across from him on his bed, a book and some parchment in front of you.

“I don’t know why we have to write an essay on centaurs, anyways,” you huffed. “I feel like we’ve already discussed everything we needed to in class.”

James shrugged. “At least it’s only two pages. Could be worse.”

You grumbled your dissent, shutting the book after you’d written only half a page. He looked up at you, a smirk on his lips at your dramatics. He rolled his eyes playfully at you, shutting his own book.

“Alright. Do you want to go over the History of Magic assignment?” he questioned.

“Not particularly.”

“Good,” he said with a breath. “I really didn’t want to either.”

You snorted. “Why’d you ask then?”

He shrugged, moving both bits of parchment and the books off to the side.

“Trying to find a reason not to kiss you.”

You rolled your eyes. “We both know that’s a bad idea.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Hasn’t stopped us before, though, has it?”

You bit back a smile, not moving when he moved closer towards you. He reached a hand up, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip with the rest of his hand resting on your jaw. You watched him carefully, taking in the way his eyes sparkled as he looked at you in the warm lighting.

“Jamie…”

“Tell me you don’t want me to.”

You shook your head. “I can’t say that.”

He nodded, moving even closer, almost waiting for a sign that you’d push him away. That sign never came. He leaned in, ghosting his lips over yours until you took the lead, finally pressing against him. He pulled you into his lap immediately, arms holding you in like he was afraid you’d slip away from him if he didn’t. Your arms wrapped around his neck, one hand playing with the soft hair at his neck the way he always loved.

He smiled into your kiss, deepening it when you pushed up against him desperately.

Good things never seemed to last, though.

The door swung open suddenly, and you jumped away from James, clearly having been doing something you really shouldn’t have been. Sirius stared at the two of you, a look on his face that you seldom saw from him.

“We were just—” James started, but stopped immediately.

You were just what? There was no way to explain your way out of what Sirius had seen.

He shut the door behind him. Lingering near it with his arms crossed.

“Pads…” you said, unsure what you even wanted to say.

“You’ve got to stop this,” he said plainly, looking between you both. “Whatever this is, it needs to be done. The sneaking around was cute in the beginning, but I’m sick of it, now.”

Your stomach dropped, scooting even further away from where James sat stock-still on the bed.

Sirius sighed. “I love being your friend, both of you. But, Y/N, comforting you every time this happens is insane. Especially when you’re trying to pretend it isn’t because of you two holding on to each other when you clearly think you shouldn’t be.”

You nodded solemnly. He shifted his attention to James.

“I’ve had to listen to you cry yourself to sleep too many times, mate. It’s been months of this. You keep hurting yourselves and each other over and over again, and for what? An easy lay?”

“It’s not like that,” James said quickly.

“Then what is it?” Sirius asked pointedly.

You swallowed, turning to see James look like he was holding back tears as he stared back at his friend.

“I— I love her,” he said breathlessly. “You don’t know what this is like, Sirius. She’s my…”

You found yourself staring at him as he spoke, your heart beating out of your chest. You swallowed with a dry throat, unsure what to do. You felt frozen.

“You both agreed you couldn’t be together anymore, did you not?” Sirius asked, though not without a softness in his tone. “I’m sorry this is hard for you both, I am, but it’s been hard for the rest of us, too. We’re constantly wrapped up in trying to help you both out of this, but you keep going back behind our backs when you know it’s just hurting more.”

“I don’t know what to do,” James said, turning his gaze to you. “I don’t know what to do. I— I don’t know how I’m supposed to just be your friend. I don’t know how I’m supposed to pretend like I’m not in love with you. Like I haven’t imagined marrying you since we were fifteen. I don’t know why you wanted to break up.”

You felt tears sting your eyes. “You said you wanted to, too.”

“I lied,” he exclaimed. “I only said that because I was scared. I didn’t want to admit that I never wanted to leave you when you were telling me you didn’t think I was worth it anymore.”

Your mouth dropped open, tears falling down your cheeks. “I never said that.”

He opened his mouth to speak, then clamped it shut again. Before you had a chance to say anything else, he was launching himself out of bed, pushing past Sirius and out the door.

“Jamie—” you tried, though it fell on deaf ears.

You buried your face in your hands, letting your tears fall. You felt the bed dip next to you, Sirius’ arms curling around you and pulling you in. Your head fell on his shoulder as you cried.

“I didn’t know he didn’t… I thought he wanted things to end. I didn’t know he’s been so upset.”

His hand rubbed on your back. “You’ve both been holding onto this for too long. At this point, do you even want to be broken up?”

“We were always arguing together. The last two months we were together was nothing but going at each other.”

“What about now?”

You wiped your eyes, looking at him. “What do you mean?”

“Do you still think it’s for the best? Because you clearly can’t stay away from each other,” he said, then sighed. “Either you guys need to distance yourselves or get back together. I hate seeing you cry like this.”

“Even if I wanted to be with him, I don’t think it would work.”

“Why not?”

“He wouldn’t want—”

“He just told you he’s in love with you,” Sirius exclaimed. “He never stops talking about you and how much he misses you. He cries himself to sleep over you, and then dreams about you when he finally passes out. Of course he’d want to be with you, don’t be stupid.”

Your eyes widened. “Since when are you mean to me?”

“Since you started talking with no sense. You’re supposed to be the smart one out of all of us.”

You smiled, shaking your head as he laughed.

“Just, quit acting like you two aren’t crazy for each other. You have been since we were kids,” he said, shrugging in disbelief. “You need to talk to him. And I mean talk, not…” he raised a brow.

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“You know where he ran off to?”

“Probably that silly tree of his in the courtyard?”

He nodded. “That would be my guess.”

“Thanks, Siri,” you said, hugging him before you stood. “Wish me luck.”

“If either of you comes back crying, this better be the last time,” he said, hiding a smile with raised brows.

“I’ll do my best,” you smiled, leaving the room.

You were right about where he’d be. You walked up to James as he sat on the ground under the tree, staying quiet for a few moments as you breathed in the cold air.

“Why are you here?” he asked, looking straight ahead.

“Sirius talked some sense into me. He’s being surprisingly mature today. It’s scary.”

He nodded. “He does that on occasion.”

“I’m sorry,” you said.

He shrugged. “S’fine.”

“It’s not,” you replied, shaking your head. “I keep hurting you, and I hate that. I didn’t know it was that bad for you.”

“How couldn’t you?”

“When we had that conversation, when we broke up, I thought you’d be fine. I was convinced you’d be better off without me, and I thought that maybe we’d be better as friends. We wouldn’t stop arguing over stupid shit.”

“We could have worked it out.”

“We never talked about it.”

He sighed. “I guess.”

You let a silence wash over you for a minute, feeling him moving a little closer to you.

“It’s cold out here. You’re not dressed warm enough.”

“I’m fine. Not cold yet,” you said.

He hummed. “What did Sirius say?”

“Thinks we should either stay away from each other or get back together. Really, he told me those were the two options.”

“So you came out here to let me down easy for the last time?”

You reached out, touching his arm. He looked at you, furrowing his brows. You smiled softly.

“I was actually coming out to see if you hated me. In the hopes that you don’t—”

“That’s not funny.”

“I’m not joking.”

His face softened. “Don’t say that if you don’t mean it. Please.”

“Jamie, I never stopped loving you. I shouldn’t have ever… I wish we would have just talked about everything. I hate not being with you,” you confessed. “Like, shit, James, we started scheduling study dates just to be around each other. I’ve never seen you so passionate about homework.”

He laughed. “It was never the homework I was excited about.”

“Me either.”

He watched you carefully. “You’d… You actually want to try this again? Us?”

“If you’d have me.”

He let out a breath, hands moving to your face as his lips pressed against yours. This time entirely uncaring if anyone saw you. He pulled away, pressing several soft kisses to your cheeks and forehead until you were laughing, pushing him away slightly.

“You really, really mean it?” he asked.

“Obviously we’ll have to talk about this. We need to make sure we actually communicate this time around.”

“Anything for you, love.”

“But yeah, I mean it.”

He smiled brightly. “Evans is gonna be pissed when she sees us snogging in Hogsmeade this weekend.”

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x fem!reader #james potter fanfiction #james potter fic #james potter angst #james potter fluff #james potter x you #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #marauders x reader #marauders #hp fanfic #hp #hp x reader #luna still hates jk

2K notes · View notes

talesof-old · 1 month

Text

friends? | j.p.

pairing(s): james potter x reader

warning(s): nothing really, slight mentions of infidelity, breakups due to inappropriately close friendships, slightly rushed and not edited/proofread

word count: 1k

a/n: i’m so sorry this took me so long i lost track of time

masterlist

bsf!james potter + realizations

“You spend all day with him, what else am I supposed to believe!”

Your boyfriend’s—or rather, your ex-boyfriend’s—words were still on your mind, even a week later. A year down the drain, for what? You sighed and closed your Charms textbook. Studying would have to wait for another day.

Your books and parchment were shoved into your bag and then you were exiting the library, ready to put on one of your sad records and wallow in your dorm.

As you made your way to Gryffindor tower, you hear your name being called. You turned. James, followed by his three friends, all looking rather bemused. Your heart beats faster. What was once second nature, a smile and greeting, now proved far more difficult than you could’ve imagined.

James fell into step next to you, fingers intertwining with yours in a motion that appeared as easy as breathing. Your smile faltered before you caught yourself. Holding hands was normal between friends, wasn’t it? Affection came naturally when you cared for people. James squeezed your hand before all but dragging you through the Fat Lady’s portrait.

Unceremoniously, he dropped his bags at the foot of the unoccupied couch and flopped down, bringing you down with him. You fell against the plush cushions, belt digging into your waist.

“You alright? Y’seem a bit…off.” You nod your head. It was no use rehashing the events that had led up to this point. Instead, your gaze turned to where your hands were joined.

You wondered when the lines of friendship blurred between you and James. Before, you’d taken your friends’ teasing in stride, assuming they were just taking the piss at the two of you. Sure, James was attractive and unnecessarily attentive, but that was just James.

He knew all of your mutual friends schedules, knew what they liked or didn’t, always cared for each of you. The thought that he treated you in a different way hadn’t even crossed your mind.

Sirius cackled to your left and you glanced over, watching as his cheeks went red and he shook his head at Remus. You raised a brow. Had you really gotten so caught up in everything that you hadn’t noticed? Heat rushed to your face as you thought back to your boyfriend’s breaking point.

Abba blared in the Common Room, plastic cups littering every available surface filled with some far too strong mixed concoction. Lily had abandoned you to dance with Mary, leaving you nodding along to the music. Your boyfriend would likely be arriving any moment. A Hufflepuff, talented and charismatic, who’d somehow managed to sweep you off your feet in the middle of Divination class.

“There you are.” An arm wrapped around your shoulder. You flinched, your drink sloshing as you turned to gaze at the boy. James’ smile was crooked as he leaned closer to you, pupils dilated. You grinned back, nudging his ribs to curl into his side. He rubbed your shoulder.

“I couldn’t find you earlier, thought maybe you’d abandoned me for some book upstairs.” You rolled your eyes. Someone yelled from across the room, the sound followed by several drunken hollers. You turned to face him. James’ face was barely two inches from yours, eyes unblinking behind his glasses. You raised a brow.

James just grinned, squeezing your shoulders. Your cup was discarded almost immediately as he started guiding you towards the table. Two punches were gleaming in the light, though you could’ve sworn one was far pinker than you remember it being.

“What did you lot do?”

He gasped in mock offense. “Us? You think so lowly of your friends that you assume we’ve messed with the punch?”

Your blank look had him caving.

“Alright, maybe Pads added something.” You huffed a laugh.

“Just be care-“ Another student bumped into you, sending you falling into James’ chest. A ruckus started from where a group of Gryffindors began wrestling. You shook your head.

James turned you around. “You alright?” Perhaps if you’d been paying attention, you would’ve noticed just how close he was, and noted the way he held you.

But you didn’t. However someone else, watching the whole thing, did. He’d made a point to stay back and see if his suspicions held any truth. James Potter was in love with you, even if you couldn’t admit it.

You let James drag you over to your friends, plopping you down on the couch before settling down next to you. With your affectionate disposition, it was only natural to nestle into his side. Sirius wiggled his eyebrows at you; your friend’s teasing would only be taken as a lighthearted jab.

For the moment, you just savored the warmth of James beside you. In the presence of your friends you felt safe and understood. Perhaps that’s why you never questioned it. James pressed a quick kiss to your temple as he leaned forward to grab his drink.

That was enough for your boyfriend. Playing second to James was not a game he wanted in on. And for you to be so oblivious to it all? The sharp sting of betrayal was ample enough reason to show that it was time to bring things to an end.

You shook yourself out of your thoughts. There was no point in dwelling on the awful conversation you’d had with your ex. The realizations you’d had since that night were enough to occupy your time. James wrapped an arm around your shoulders. Briefly tensing before melting into his embrace, you leaned your head against his arm. Despite the hurt you felt from your boyfriend seemingly suddenly breaking up with you, the freedom you now had to question yourself was exhilarating. Perhaps you’d figure out what all this meant, with time. Maybe you could find it in yourself to pay more attention to the actions of a particular friend.

James squeezed your hand. You turned, looking up at him with questioning eyes. “We’re going to the kitchens to grab a few things, you coming with?”

You shrugged. “Don’t see why not.”

+++

#harry potter x reader #harry potter #james potter x you #james fleamont potter #james potter fluff #james potter drabble #james potter x reader #james potter #james potter oneshot #james potter angst #talesofold birthday special

415 notes · View notes

forestdeath1 · 2 months

Text

Canon Sirius through quotes

Part 3. Harshness and toughness (and how Sirius Black differs from James Potter). It's long. Really long.

Sirius isn't a soft crybaby. His harshness (and even cruelty) goes beyond the silly teenage pranks we usually see in fanfiction. Sirius is often either whitewashed by newer fans or overly demonized by anti-Marauders fans. Sirius has a tough exterior but a heart of gold. He's not childish and had to grow up early, though he can still be quite fun.

‘Do you know, I still have trouble believing it,’ said Madam Rosmerta thoughtfully. ‘Of all the people to go over to the Dark side, Sirius Black was the last I’d have thought ... .’

"Of all the people to go over to the Dark side, Sirius Black was the last I’d have thought" – this shouldn't be taken literally. Rosmerta saw many others regularly, Dumbledore, Lily, Remus, and many others, and out of all of them, Sirius Black was the last who could turn to the Dark side? Seriously? Did Sirius walk around with a halo and angel wings?

One trait that is always emphasized in his appearance is his haughty, bored look.

Rosmerta speaks metaphorically, not literally. She saw Sirius once a month or two when they went out to Hogsmeade to have fun and drink. In those moments, Sirius was lively, funny and noisy (especially lively after running away from home), and perhaps he even flirted with Rosmerta in a childish manner, melting the heart of the adult woman.

Sirius can be funny, although his humor is always edging towards dark:

"Imagine wasting your time and energy persecuting merpeople when there are little toerags like Kreacher on the loose.’

Ron laughed but Hermione looked upset.

‘Sirius!’ she said reproachfully. ‘Honestly, if you made a bit of an effort with Kreacher, I’m sure he’d respond. After all, you are the only member of his family he’s got left, and Professor Dumbledore said –’

‘So, what are Umbridge’s lessons like?’ Sirius interrupted. ‘Is she training you all to kill half-breeds?’

Moreover, he interrupts Hermione, not letting her finish her point. He sharply outlines if he doesn't want to listen.

"the stuffed elf-heads on the hall wall wore Father Christmas hats and beards"

Dark humor.

‘Kreacher is cleaning,’ the elf repeated. ‘Kreacher lives to serve the Noble House of Black –’

‘And it’s getting blacker every day, it’s filthy,’ said Sirius.

Here he responds with a clear "Black" shade. His mother also loved to talk about filth.

‘Sirius – it’s me ... it’s Peter ... your friend ... you wouldn’t ...’ Black kicked out and Pettigrew recoiled. ‘There’s enough filth on my robes without you touching them,’ said Black.

And again. And here’s his mother:

‘Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! Half-breeds, mutants, freaks, begone from this place! How dare you befoul the house of my fathers –’

‘Stains of dishonour, filthy half-breeds, blood traitors, children of filth ...’

Sirius desperately wants to be unlike the Blacks, but he is still Sirius Black.

‘I thought it was the perfect plan ... a bluff ... Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they’d use a weak, talentless thing like you ... it must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters.’

Sirius's humor isn't the only harsh thing about him. Even though here he has a reason – after Azkaban he met James's traitor – his way of speaking reflects his overall personality. The way one speaks is a mirror of personality, even if Sirius has PTSD, it only exposes even more vividly what he might control in a calm state.

‘Nasty temper he’s got, that Sirius Black.’ (Peeves)

At the same time, yes, he can be cheerful and infect everyone around him with his cheerfulness. If he's in a sombre mood, he creates a quite oppressive atmosphere around him that everyone feels. Just as with a good mood – everyone feels it.

Harry could not remember Sirius ever being in such a good mood; he was actually singing carols, apparently delighted that he was to have company over Christmas.

Sirius tramping past their door towards Buckbeak’s room, singing ‘God Rest Ye, Merry Hippogriffs’ at the top of his voice.

Sirius’s delight at having the house full again, and especially at having Harry back, was infectious. He was no longer their sullen host of the summer; now he seemed determined that everyone should enjoy themselves as much, if not more than they would have done at Hogwarts, and he worked tirelessly in the run-up to Christmas Day, cleaning and decorating with their help.

But the ability to be cheerful is in no way connected to being very harshn at the same time. This is precisely the case with Sirius.

Of all the Marauders, only Sirius is really harsh and can be truly dangerous (the author wrote about him, “The best-looking, most rebellious, most dangerous of the four marauders”). James was also a bully, but he's not harsh, despite the fact that it was he who pulled down Snape's trousers. Why? I think Sirius was already aware of what they were doing. James – not. Without awareness, it's too early to speak of any harshness and cruelty. Sirius had this awareness and still continued to do it.

Let's consider the reactions of Sirius and James in comparison.

‘Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?’

Sirius did not smile. ‘My whole family have been in Slytherin,’ he said.

‘Blimey,’ said James, ‘and I thought you seemed all right!’

Sirius grinned. ‘Maybe I’ll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you’ve got the choice?’

A small note: Sirius didn't even react to James's "I'd leave", even though he knew his whole family was from Slytherin, and he was likely to go there too.

James lifted an invisible sword. ‘“Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!” Like my dad.’ Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him.

‘Got a problem with that?’ ‘No,’ said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. ‘If you’d rather be brawny than brainy –’

It was Snape who starts the confrontation on a personal level. James in his insults in this memory refers to moral qualities. "Who wants to be in Slytherin?" Only bad people. He is prejudiced against Slytherin because Slytherin is evil. Voldemort is gaining momentum. The first Muggle-born Minister was recently ousted. Attacks are happening here and there. Dark forces are growing. More and more of the pure-blood society talks about "Mudbloods" not belonging in this world. And "amazingly", they all turn out to be from Slytherin. James sees himself as a noble knight "James lifted an invisible sword", and he is against Slytherin not so much personally as against the moral component of Slytherin.

‘Where’re you hoping to go, seeing as you’re neither?’ interjected Sirius.

James roared with laughter. Lily sat up, rather flushed, and looked from James to Sirius in dislike.

Sirius immediately strikes at Snape's personality. Sirius is sharp-tongued, self-assured, and likely accustomed to considering others below himself. He probably assessed James as his equal right away. Brave, cheerful, sincere.

'Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment.'

'Oooooo...'

James and Sirius imitated her lofty voice; James tried to trip Snape as he passed.

'See ya, Snivellus!' a voice called, as the compartment door slammed...

James tried to trip Snape. James most often uses physical/magical force. He trips Snape, he pulls down Snape's trousers, he uses most of the spells on Snape in SWM. But it's Sirius who goes after Snape's personality. It looks like James has concocted a "noble justification" for his behavior and attitude and punishes Snape for existing just as he is.

Sirius, on the other hand, hardly uses magical/physical force in memories; he finds painful points in Snape's personality – from character to appearance, intentionally demeaning his personal traits.

Moreover, it was Sirius who focused on Snape's appearance. No one, except him, places such an emphasis on Snape's unattractive appearance and his untidiness.

'Snape's always been fascinated by the Dark Arts, he was famous for it at school. Slimy, oily, greasy-haired kid, he was,'

Very vivid epithets. Sirius is very eloquent when it comes to demeaning someone he dislikes.

Moreover, it's James who's the attention seeker. It's James who plays with the snitch, drawing attention, glancing at the girls by the lake, and ruffling his hair to show everyone how cool, strong, brave, and awesome he is.

After five minutes of this, Harry wondered why James didn’t tell Wormtail to get a grip on himself, but James seemed to be enjoying the attention. Harry noticed that his father had a habit of rumpling up his hair as though to keep it from getting too tidy, and he also kept looking over at the girls by the water’s edge.

While Sirius, likely, isn't much interested in societal validation. Sirius is more reserved, with firmer boundaries, he's not as interested in public adoration as James might be.

Lupin had pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so.

This is a typical expression for Sirius – bored and haughty. He spent nearly five full years in Gryffindor alongside James, and the bored and haughty expression is still with him. It's not just a random trait in his character – it's one of the pillars of his personality, reflecting his attitude towards random people around him.

‘Put that away, will you,’ said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer, ‘before Wormtail wets himself with excitement.’

As I've said, Sirius cuts with his words without a knife. They've been studying together for five years, been friends with Peter, and he jokes about Peter like this. I think they all joked about each other in the same way, just James's "jokes" are blunt and probably he just says whatever comes to mind, whereas Sirius's are more subtle and hurtful.

Moreover, when people say this is the only episode we know of bullying by James and Sirius and that it's the worst in their history, that's not correct. This episode is the worst in Snape's life. And not because they pulled down his trousers. But because he lost Lily forever that day. This episode, likely, was quite typical for the Marauders. They were in a good mood, had finished exams, Snape just happened to pass by, there were no obvious reasons for this bullying. Harry sifted through their detention records, and there were many, very many, and how many more when they weren't caught?

Sirius got bored, and there they decided to "have some fun."

‘I’m bored,’ said Sirius. ‘Wish it was full moon.’

‘You might,’ said Lupin darkly from behind his book. ‘We’ve still got Transfiguration, if you’re bored you could test me. Here ...’ and he held out his book.

But Sirius snorted. ‘I don’t need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.’

I won't discuss The Prank here, many have written about it. In general, Sirius doesn't show empathy in everyday interactions even with Remus. Sirius has a heart of gold, but his shell, especially as a teenager – tough, harsh, sharp, and cutting. The grown-up Sirius interacts with close people much more politely, though he still occasionally shows his harshness (for example, with Hermione).

‘This’ll liven you up, Padfoot,’ said James quietly. ‘Look who it is ...’

Sirius’s head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit.

‘Excellent,’ he said softly. ‘Snivellus.’

I don't want to justify Sirius and James, but for context – Snape is fascinated by the Dark Arts, hangs out with future Death Eaters (= fascist), and they have mutual dislike from the first year. No, the act is immature, but James justifies it in his head exactly like this – Snape is bad for him, so anything goes, and anyway, "so what?" Sirius doesn't need justifications. He's just bored.

Even when James uses all the spells on Snape, he still glances at the lake:

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water’s edge as he went. Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view.

Why look at the girls by the lake when you're humiliating someone, if you know you're doing something really bad? James genuinely sees himself as a noble knight, deserving of admiration. Moreover, many do admire him (''Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained. Several people watching laughed''), and Lupin mentioned several times that James was popular at school.

‘How’d the exam go, Snivelly?’ said James.

‘I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,’ said Sirius viciously. ‘There’ll be great grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word.’

Again, Sirius harshly targets Snape's personal traits, including his appearance.

‘You – wait,’ he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing, ‘you – wait!’

‘Wait for what?’ said Sirius coolly. ‘What’re you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?’

And again – Sirius strikes with words.

Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.

‘Wash out your mouth,’ said James coldly. ‘Scourgify!’

And James responds with a spell to what? Snape's insults. He says ‘Wash out your mouth.’ He appeals to the moral side of the issue.

‘I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!’

‘Apologise to Evans!’ James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him. ‘I don’t want you to make him apologise,’ Lily shouted, rounding on James. ‘You’re as bad as he is.’ ‘What?’ yelped James. ‘I’d NEVER call you a – you-know-what!’

This also proves that James is sure he's doing everything right. James is like a volunteer in the allies' army against the fascists, a brave Gryffindor, and his sword is to cast spells on anyone he deems not fitting his moral standards.

‘Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.’

And from the outside, it looked like this.

‘What is it with her?’ said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

‘Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,’ said Sirius.

And Sirius understands it all too well. Who he is, who James is, and what Lily thinks about it all. Sirius knows about James's crush on Lily and finds it even funny that she rejects him. Likely because Sirius understands that they often cross the line. I don’t think Sirius could have stopped Potter. I don't even think Sirius wanted to stop Potter. He found it all funny. Azkaban, on the other hand, softened Sirius in his interactions with others. It knocked down his pride and arrogance. Showed him that life can be unfair and you don't need to act like a haughty jerk who thinks the world revolves around them.

At school, Sirius was more about psychological bullying, while James was about the physical. Given that James and Sirius were very popular at school and within their house, their bullying was likely directed mostly at Slytherins or at arrogant jerks like themselves who they just "didn't like."

And the adult Sirius understands that they were “arrogant little berks.” And he’s “not proud of it,” but his next words speak for themselves:

“ I think James was everything Snape wanted to be – he was popular, he was good at Quidditch – good at pretty much everything. And Snape was just this little oddball who was up to his eyes in the Dark Arts, and James – whatever else he may have appeared to you, Harry – always hated the Dark Arts.”

Sirius justifies James while simultaneously praising him. Justifications always imply a partial denial of guilt. Someone fully aware of their guilt doesn’t seek to justify or be justified. Of course, Sirius said this for Harry's sake too. To ensure Harry didn’t think his father was just a bully for no reason. His father was actually “on the side of good,” is what Sirius wants to convey. About himself, he remains silent. But he doesn't miss the chance to insult Snape again “little oddball.”

Even Remus, as an adult, sincerely justifies James.

‘She started going out with him in seventh year,’ said Lupin.

‘Once James had deflated his head a bit,’ said Sirius. ‘And stopped hexing people just for the fun of it,’ said Lupin.

‘Even Snape?’ said Harry. ‘Well,’ said Lupin slowly, ‘Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James so you couldn’t really expect James to take that lying down, could you?’

‘And my mum was OK with that?’

‘She didn’t know too much about it, to tell you the truth,’ said Sirius. ‘I mean, James didn’t take Snape on dates with her and jinx him in front of her, did he?’

Lupin finds a genuine justification for James. The concept of “violence in any form is bad” isn’t fully grasped by them. They follow an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Lupin even was ready to kill Peter, and he insisted that war is not a playground and that killing is sometimes necessary in war. Remus, though gentler and kinder, and preferring not to engage in conflict, genuinely wished Sirius and James hadn't bullied anyone at school, but yet, he still reconciles with all they do and even justifies James.

In Sirius's mind, James may have acted like a fool, but Sirius doesn’t genuinely condemn it. He just thinks they were too arrogant. And Sirius’s behavior after Azkaban (how he became gentler with others) indicates he truly realized – you don't need to belittle everyone you dislike or even like. Yet, Sirius’s harshness, even after Azkaban, didn’t disappear; it was just redirected towards what he genuinely hates.

‘Professor Snape was at school with us. He fought very hard against my appointment to the Defence Against the Dark Arts job. He has been telling Dumbledore all year that I am not to be trusted. He has his reasons ... you see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me –’

Black made a derisive noise.

‘It served him right,’ he sneered. ‘Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to ... hoping he could get us expelled ...’

Remus's reactions are much softer, but Sirius’s reaction, even years later, is harsh and even a bit cruel. ‘It served him right.’ Because it's an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

However, Sirius’s harshness still occasionally breaks through even towards his close ones when he slightly loses control over himself after Azkaban.

‘You’re less like your father than I thought,’ he said finally, a definite coolness in his voice. ‘The risk would’ve been what made it fun for James.’

‘Well, I’d better get going, I can hear Kreacher coming down the stairs,’ said Sirius, but Harry was sure he was lying. ‘I’ll write to tell you a time I can make it back into the fire, then, shall I? If you can stand to risk it?’

Sirius calls themselves “arrogant little berks,” but the peculiarity of Sirius’s arrogance is that it's due to his personal qualities, not external “glamour”.

‘I, a spy for Voldemort? When did I ever sneak around people who were stronger and more powerful than myself? But you, Peter – I’ll never understand why I didn’t see you were the spy from the start. You always liked big friends who’d look after you, didn’t you?’

He despises Peter for groveling, for weakness, for the same reasons he despises Regulus, considering him a soft idiot. Sirius’s arrogance was never built on finances or blood purity, on popularity, on playing Quidditch, not on his name, although the family dynamics undoubtedly influenced his pride. But overall, his arrogance is of a different level – that of a rebellious spirit, a very strong person, not like the Malfoys. Lucius Malfoy is intentionally depicted as the complete opposite of Sirius Black (in character – the most rebellious of their pure-blood circle and the most sycophantic, and in appearance – black and white).

Sirius and Kreacher's story demonstrates that Sirius does not forgive those he hated and can carry hatred through the years. People usually soften over time, but Sirius has an excuse – Azkaban. Nonetheless, the behavioral pattern remains unchanged. Azkaban does not change the essence of people, it makes certain traits more vivid and pronounced. Sirius became calmer towards the people around him who help fight against evil, he toned down his arrogance and pride (even towards Snape, he no longer hurls insults first, it’s Snape who insults Sirius first), but Sirius became even harsher towards those he hates.

‘Sirius was horrible to Kreacher, Harry, and it’s no good looking like that, you know it’s true. I’ve said all along that wizards would pay for how they treat house-elves. Well, Voldemort did ... and so did Sirius.’

Harry had no retort. As he watched Kreacher sobbing on the floor, he remembered what Dumbledore had said to him, mere hours after Sirius’s death: I do not think Sirius ever saw Kreacher as a being with feelings as acute as a human’s ...

And he himself demonstrates this repeatedly:

At which Sirius, ignoring Hermione’s protests, seized Kreacher by the back of his loincloth and threw him bodily from the room.

Dumbledore believes Sirius showed cruelty to Kreacher through his indifference and neglect. That is, Sirius could shut off his empathy towards a being, despite generally being friendly towards house-elves.

‘He (Sirius) regarded him (Kreacher) as a servant unworthy of much interest or notice. Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike… Sirius was not a cruel man, he was kind to house-elves in general. He had no love for Kreacher, because Kreacher was a living reminder of the home Sirius had hated.’

Sirius was not evil. But the neglect emanating from him was very cruel, harsh, and cold. Sirius can shut away all the good within him towards anyone he despised – “And whatever Kreacher’s faults, it must be admitted that Sirius did nothing to make Kreacher’s lot easier –”

‘– comes back from Azkaban ordering Kreacher around, oh, my poor mistress, what would she say if she saw the house now, scum living in it, her treasures thrown out, she swore he was no son of hers and he’s back, they say he’s a murderer too –’

‘Keep muttering and I will be a murderer!’ said Sirius irritably as he slammed the door shut on the elf.

However, Sirius likely never killed anyone, even while serving in the "Order."

Regarding his family and even Regulus, Sirius is also harsh. Even if he, like any child, deep down loved his family, it doesn’t matter because his real words and actions are very harsh and aimed at severing ties. The possible love for them deep down only further highlights his harshness and readiness for confrontation.

“I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal ... my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them”

Likely, he’s ashamed of them, and his hatred also builds a wall between them and himself.

‘Does it matter if she’s my cousin?’ snapped Sirius. ‘As far as I’m concerned, they’re not my family. She’s certainly not my family. I haven’t seen her since I was your age, unless you count a glimpse of her coming into Azkaban. D’you think I’m proud of having a relative like her?’

And at the same time Dumbledore about James:

‘I knew your father very well, both at Hogwarts and later, Harry,’ he said gently. ‘He would have saved Pettigrew too, I am sure of it.’

I don’t know how true this is (though likely, the author speaks through Dumbledore here), but considering that Harry himself is a character whose main traits include the ability to understand and forgive others, perhaps James had this to some extent too. But Sirius lacks the ability to forgive, and this is deliberately shown in the book – that he suffered precisely because of his excessive harshness.

In conclusion, Sirius's harshness and toughness is not just teenage arrogance; it's directly a trait of his personality, something that cannot be overlooked when talking about the canonical Sirius, not his sugar-coated substitute in fandom. Sirius had to grow up very early, and all this left its mark on him.

Of all the Marauders, only Sirius is really harsh and can be truly dangerous.

But Sirius was not cruel in a moral-ethical sense, or more precisely – ideologically. There's no reason to believe Sirius is constantly drawn to the dark side or that he's amoral. His constant fight against his family suggests instead that he formed high ideals within himself. No, Sirius is not amoral; he has difficulty with empathy (especially in childhood), a tendency towards aggression and cruelty (mostly in childhood, he controls himself quite well as an adult. Well, for Sirius Black quite well), arrogance, but he very well understands what is right and what is wrong.

‘She’s got the measure of Crouch better than you have, Ron. If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.’

#sirius black #james potter #the marauders #the marauders meta #sirius black meta #hp meta

281 notes · View notes

fear-less · 1 month

Text

₊˚⊹˚ 𐙚 the last time

paring: james potter x reader x regulus black

warnings: angst, fluff?? maybe idk, ngl this is mostly james’ pov rarely shows regulus x reader scenes 🗣️❓, lowkey cringy, lowkey left on a cliff hangernot poly it’s james x reader then turns into reg x reader :3, use of y/n, lily is not cool in this sorry 😞😞 but love her, house doesn’t matter but it does mention that reader is not in gryffindor, there’s a couple of taylor references in this fic😜

a/n: here’s this bc i’m writing a request rn🙏🗣️

3.2k words ^_^

You had always thought James was your soulmate. You had shared so many happy memories, only dating for a year and a half but being friends longer. You never imagined a world without him.

But good things never last forever, especially when it’s something good happening to you. You never expected for James to break up with you, at least not for another girl he was slowly falling in love with, not for the girl he told you not to worry about.

“She’s just a friend,” you had recounted the amount of times he had told you those words. As much as he said them, he clearly never listened to them.

You had watched them get close together, everyone had known before you, Lily had his heart, but he had told you multiple times he loved you and only you. So why is he leaving you right now for her?

You could feel the flowers you two grew together dying of thirst.

Clearly, the feelings never died for her, as they were assigned to be partners in Transfiguration class for a project; you could see his change in attitude. He was slowly becoming distant.

But he clearly didn’t care anymore about your feelings as he flat out told you he was leaving you for Lily.

“Why?” you knew why. Everyone did.

“I just love her. I always knew she would be the one. I’m sorry.”

“If you knew she was ‘always the one,’ why did you get into a relationship with me? To play with the feelings?” you screamed, finally had enough of his crap.

That very day, you had walked out of the Gryffindor common room, would be the last.

You had cut all contact with James. Yes, you were friends with the other Marauders, but not close enough. You had ignored them anytime they would talk to you, only talking to them if it was important.

It had only been five days since your awful break up with James, five. Five days and he was already asking Lily out, and she had said yes.

You found out when you heard three girls gossiping in the library, you had run out the second you heard those words.

Were you that easy to get over?

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

‘I should be happy’ is what James keeps telling himself. He has the girl of his dreams laying on him right now! Why isn’t he smiling like a man in love? Why is he thinking about you?

He broke up with you because it was never going to be you. So why did he almost call Lily your name?

It had been a month since the breakup. In that month, he had celebrated his anniversary with Lily. They had been over the moon that day, thankful it was a Hogsmeade weekend. But that whole trip made him think of you. Especially when Lily got the same drink you always got.

He never realized how much he loved you. He misses your stupid jokes, your smile, the way you would always laugh at his jokes and pranks.

Lily would never be you, you would never be Lily. Ever. You would never make him feel bad for saying one silly joke. You would never discourage him from pulling a prank, as long as it didn’t hurt him. You would always drop what you were doing to be with him, Lily wouldn’t. He wasn’t used to that, wasn’t used to anything Lily was.

He was quickly lost in thought, not even listening to anything Lily was saying, until she slapped his hand, finally catching his attention back.

“What’s for you so deep in thought?” Lily said, her face holding a confused expression.

“Just about you, of course. Can’t wait to go more on these dates, till we are old and wrinkly.” James quickly said, not wanting to actually tell her what he was thinking.

Lily had smiled at that. Not knowing that those words were the words you would tell him almost every time you two were on dates. Making jokes about being together till you were old and wrinkly but so in love, still going on weekly dates.

James was stuck. Stuck in the past where he had you. He wishes more than anything to go back to that very same night and change things.

As stuck as James was, he told himself that he was just confused. He didn’t miss you, no! Maybe he was sick, so he’s thinking of you, yeah! That’s right, he doesn’t really care about you, he’s just sick.

He wishes to not be sick for long.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

It had now been seven months. Seven months and you had never been more happier than now. Around the sixth month, you had realized how much you had gotten over James. Not searching for him in the halls to not run into him, in the Great Hall, anywhere anymore.

You never noticed the little things you did that lead to you finally getting over James. But he did. He longed for the attention you gave him before entering a class you shared, before making a turn, before entering the Great Hall and walking past the Gryffindor table to get to your own houses table.

Seven months later, you were now clean, as you liked to say it. In that very month, you had been paired with Regulus Black for a project for Potions. The project was worth a lot and a very lengthy one at that. Making you and Regulus have to actually talk and not do the work silently and awkwardly.

That very same day, you two had agreed to meet in the library an hour and a half before supper.

That night had been one of the best you had in months. Laughter filling the side of the library you two were at, Madam Pince telling you two to shush over and over again.

What you didn’t know was the boy who you used to laugh that much with was starring at you, intensely. He was so confused, why were you laughing with Regulus Black? But why does he care, he only came to the library to accompany Lily. As the laughter once again filled the noiseless library, he got more mad.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

It had now been eight months. You had almost forgotten that James existed, some things would remind you of him here and there but your heart didn’t drop nor did it beat fast anymore over some small reference.

In those same eight months, you had also gotten closer to Regulus. It felt nice to be friends with him, though sometimes you wished it was more.

He understood you in many ways others couldn’t. In more ways James couldn’t. James was the opposite from you and Regulus was completely like you. Which is what made you two get along so quickly.

Now, you are walking with Regulus making your way to the Astronomy Tower. This spot had become your guys’ spot, coming here whenever. If you just wanted somewhere to hang out, if one was feeling sad, angry, or anything else. Although it was really only allowed to be entered during class, you two still found a way to enter without getting caught, it wasn’t that hard.

“How was your day today?” You had asked Regulus as you made your way to the railing.

“It was alright, History of Magic is always so boring, nearly fell asleep.” Regulus said, chuckling as he finished the end of sentence.

You had let out a giggle, smiling at Regulus then turning back to the view that the Astronomy Tower gave you of Hogwarts.

Regulus admired your features. He had always liked your eyes, the first thing he noticed. That same shade became his favorite color, he could get lost in your eyes for hours. His favorite second feature was your lips, a soft pink, he wishes he could kiss you.

Regulus pauses, why was he thinking about kissing you? He had known you before, but really getting to know you in a month, it’s been a month and he’s already head over heels. Great.

He knew about your past relationship with James, mostly everyone at Hogwarts did. He also knew that if he was James, he would’ve never left you. He would’ve married you, started a family with you.

“Are you okay? You’re totally spacing out on me, I was about to tell you about the cute animal I saw while walking in the Forbidden Forest!” Regulus always admired your love for animals, he loved the way you would ramble about them, going on and on about all the cute animals.

“I’m okay, don’t worry, I was just... thinking,” Regulus said, trying to get you to go back to talking about the animal you found.

“Alright…!”

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

It has now been nine months.

But the past two months have been heaven for you. Hanging out with Regulus has been the highlight of your days.

But something told you tonight was going to be different. It was a Hogsmeade weekend. Regulus invited you to go and hang out.

So now, here you were sitting across from him at Honeydukes. Sipping on your cold drink, trying not to laugh and make a mess of the drink in your mouth. You loved how funny Regulus was. He doesn’t seem like the funny type but he does know how to make a joke or two.

After thirty minutes of talking and giggling inside Honeydukes, you two had walked back to Hogwarts, going to the courtyard to just sit down on the nicely green colored grass.

You had made a joke causing Regulus to chuckle, before he cleared his throat and had said your name.

“Y/n.”

“What?” You had said nervously, confused on why he stopped laughing and randomly said your name in such a serious manner.

“I can’t do this anymore. Every time I’m with you I just… I want to kiss you. I really like you, if you don’t feel the same it’s fine I don’t expect you to, we have only known each for two almost three months but… if-“

You cut him off with a kiss.

Neither of you two could describe how you felt. Two hearts beating so fast.

“I like you too…” you had said, blushing while looking away.

Regulus smiled, leaning in for another kiss.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

James had a tough night. He was hanging out with Lily but all he could think about was you. What if he was hanging out with you instead, would you two be talking about the pranks he wanted to pull on Snape?

Come to think of it, he hadn’t pulled a prank in months, Lily never liked them so she told him to stop.

Him and Lily were not that similar, sometimes opposites don’t attract. James had learned the hard way. You were exactly like him, he really missed you.

After an hour of just hanging out with Lily, she got bored of his silence, leaving saying she was tired, but he knew she wasn’t tired at all.

He left once Lily went up to the girls' dormitories. Now he was in bed, not sleeping, wide awake, with Peter snoring loudly to his left.

He missed you so much. His heart ached when he remembered that night. The tears streaming down your face, when you yelled at him, when you walked out of his life.

The very next morning, he awoke with dark circles under his usually cheery eyes.

“You good mate?” Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’m fine just didn’t sleep well.”

Sirius just nodded, he knew James was lying, it was obvious. James was never good at lying.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

“What’re you staring at?” Lily asked, her head tilted slightly with no expression on her face.

“Nothing,” James says, only tearing his gaze away from you and Regulus when he realizes Lily was staring at him.

James sucked at lying. Lily knew he was staring at you. She also knew that she basically broke you and James up. So why was he staring at you when she’s right next to him?

Lily sighs, turning her attention away from James and towards her food, then at you.

Once James realized Lily wasn’t paying attention to him, he turned his gaze back to you. It had only been a few months since the breakup so why were you happy? Why were you laughing at a joke Regulus made? Why are you currently leaning on his shoulder because of a joke he made that was definitely not funny?

Are you seriously replacing him with a Slytherin of all people… his best mate's little brother too? Were you trying to get his attention? It’s definitely working, can’t you feel his gaze on you?

“No way she’s laughing with Regulus,” Sirius says, scoffing as he talks.

James’ gaze now broken and on Sirius, “Right, it’s like she’s trying to get my attention,” James says, rolling his eyes.

“Or maybe she’s finally moving on,” Remus suggests, Sirius and James scoffing at that.

“With Regulus? Please, they won’t last. He can barely function without our parents, doubt he can keep a relationship,” James laughs at what Sirius says.

“Can’t wait to see your brother break her heart, it’ll be entertaining,” Remus now sighing, tired of the conversation about James and his exes maybe new boyfriend.

Peter randomly butts in the conversation, “If you ask me, I think they’re an amazing couple, just like you and Lily, Prongs.”

James pauses, if Peter thinks you and Regulus are a good couple, would everyone else think the same? He felt sick, he didn’t want you moving on. He didn’t want to see you happy with another boy, and especially not a Slytherin.

“No, they don’t suit each other. Sirius can back me up, Regulus is too rude for Y/n, she prefers the sweeter guys.”

Sirius laughs, “I hope you aren’t referring to yourself as a sweet guy, plus that’s my brother you’re talking about.”

James lets out a small grin, “Yeah yeah, I’m leaving now. I have to do something.”

Lily now paying attention to James, “Where are you go-“ she couldn’t even finish what she wanted to say before James rushed out of his seat and made his way to wherever he was going.

“Does anyone know where he’s going?” Lily asked the other three Marauders, all three shrugging.

Lily sighed, about to put her head down until she saw both you and Regulus leave the Great Hall with James slowly following you two.

Confused and frustrated on why her boyfriend was now giving all his attention to the girl he left for her, she got up and made her way to James.

Once you made your way to the library to find the book you’ve been waiting to finally be turned in by the other student who had been reading it for forever, Regulus was the one who noticed James had been following you guys.

He subtly let you know, making you have a quick look behind you, seeing James walk behind you guys trying to be subtle but failing.

Regulus noticed the way you tensed up when you saw James following you two. He knew you still cared about him in some way, but he didn’t know how much.

“Are you okay?” Regulus whispered, grabbing your hand under the table to try and comfort you.

“Yeah, I’m fine; just wasn’t expecting him to follow us,” you whispered back, squeezing his hand.

“Hey, you,” Regulus said, getting your attention back.

You turned to face him, a small smile on your lips, “Hey, yourself.”

Regulus took your hand and kissed the back of it, making you blush and look down at your lap.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Regulus asked again, genuinely concerned for you.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I have you; what else could I possibly want?”

Regulus smiled at that, leaning in to give you a kiss on your cheek.

You leaned your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes, and for the first time in months, you truly felt happy.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

“What do you mean? Of course, I don’t like her?” James said as if what he was saying was obvious.

“What do I mean? C’mon James, you’re always staring at her, you even left the Great Hall because her and another dude did!” Lily’s almost had enough of bickering back and forth.

“So what? I left her for you, stop being so insecure, she means nothing to me, it’s a coincidence that they left the same time I did, don’t over analyze it like you always do!” James replied angrily, having enough of this conversation because if he was being truthful, yes he left the Great Hall because he saw you and Regulus leave hand in hand!

“Insecure? Wow James, this is so stupid, just admit it! You still love her, but why? When we were meeting in secret you always told me she was boring and other things! So what’s changed? The fact that she’s now over you and probably in love with that dude? I am leaving don’t even answer that question.” Lily huffed, angrily leaving the empty common room to who knows where.

James now angry and full of thoughts, he makes his way to the sofa near the fireplace. Does he still love you? He regrets telling Lily that you were boring; you never were. You were always full of light, the best girlfriend ever, in comparison to Lily she was nothing compared to you.

Now James was thinking, could he get you back? You and Regulus might be dating but he wasn’t so sure. You two seem like great friends who might like each other so if he makes his way back into your life the feelings for Regulus would leave and you and James would live happily ever after.

He really liked his idea, now all he needed to do was put it to plan. He would always know your after-school schedule so he quickly made his way to the library.

As he entered he made his way to the spot you always were, he remembers the hours you two would spend there, remembering that made his heart flutter, he couldn’t wait to get you back!

That dream of his was soon crushed.

There you were. The same spot, but with Regulus, not just hanging out but kissing.

Why were you kissing him?

James felt his heart break, he let the only good thing in his life go away. How could he be so stupid, he had you and left you for another girl who is quite the opposite of him.

He stood there for a minute or two, but enough for you and Regulus to notice him.

“Um, James?” You talked, awkwardly looking at him, glancing at Regulus.

James quickly snapped out of the trance, hearing your voice say his name almost made him melt until he remembered what he saw. James swallowed his spit, “I’m leaving don’t worry, continue on with whatever that was.” James scoffs with an angry expression.

James did what he said he’d do. Right after he talked to you after months, he sped back to his dorm, not feeling like dealing with anyone. Anyone that wasn’t you.

Is this how you felt when James broke up with you? He honestly wasn’t sure he could or even wanted to get over you. You were just perfect, and he ruined it.

James had never slept worse ever in his life than that night.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

344 notes · View notes

lizpottersworld · 1 month

Text

౨ৎ an eternity of love (james potter x reader)

summary: what if the marauders survived and starting their own families. james and you were expecting a baby, and james had a little surprise that you had only dreamed of.

pairing(s): james potter x reader, james potter x sirius black (platonic), remus lupin x james (platonic), lily evans x reader (platonic) marlene mckinnon x reader (platonic)

i loved writing this!!! it was so fun, and don’t forget to request any scenarios or imagines here!

Starting a family was a dream that you and james had always discussed about wanting, yearning to have your very own one day. Even from the first year of your relationship it was a big goal you always hoped you and james would reach, and when it came to graduating school and hitting your three year mark together it only seemed right.

Not to mention the war that had also happened during that time period, that you and the order had barely won. And after the near loss, it only made you and james even more desperate for a family and a promised forever together.

So naturally when you had fallen pregnant, and expecting in the late months of the year it was like everything was going right for once. After living a rough last few years of being a young adult, being graced with a baby that you two always dreamed of was a unsaid miracle.

It was a step closer to what the two of you had hoped for when you left Hogwarts.

“I think you should wear this one.” lily and marlene had attempted to persuade you for the past hour. they both suggested a white floral printed dress that accentuated your baby bump and had been persistent that it was the one you should wear on your date with james that day.

“That way it’s like a first date out with baby.” lily commented, smiling crazily at her confused friend. Marlene only enthusiastically nodded her head at the redhead’s words, also glancing at the clock on the wall.

You hummed and bit your lip, moving around in the mirror at the stunning dress that the girls had helped you pick out and buy a few mere months ago. “Okay, the dress is gorgeous, i agree.” You nodded, turning back around to the squealing girls.

“Shoe time? We need to hurry, we don’t want to make you late.” Marlene explained, moving around the many clothes on the floor, to the wardrobe. “And, James wanted me to give you these.” She added, digging out a pink box containing the most beautiful shoes you had ever seen.

You audibly gasped, taking the shoes from the box and sitting down to eagerly put them on. “These are stunning.” You gaped, admiring the silk bow detailing.

Lily passed you your simple white handbag, and then ushered you through the door of your bedroom to down the stairs in the hallway.

Standing at the front door was a handsome but anxious James, holding a bouquet of your favourite flowers and an adoring cheeky grin on his face. “Darling, you look — woah.” He started, eyes tracing mindlessly over every little detail and beauty of you.

Your cheeks flushed and your eyes averted to James’ outfit too. A white buttoned down t-shirt with the sleeves rolled effortlessly up his toned arms, broad chest and muscular arms flexing out anywhere they could. He also had black some-what smart trousers on, hugging his bulky thighs that you adored. “So do you, handsome.” You smirked, eyes finding his again.

He brought his arm out to bring you closer to him, your arms naturally finding its way around his back as he rubbed circles into your shoulders. Lily had gracefully taken the flowers off of him, presumably going to place them into a fresh vase of water. Marlene admired the two of you, sending a wink James’ way as he mouthed a grateful thank you to her.

“We better get going, love.” He reminded you, as he glanced over at the watch on his wrist. Which had always never worked, as he couldn’t be bothered to fix it, always saying that there wasn’t ever anything important to be worried of being late to. But from today, he seemed to have a fully functional watch.

You stepped out of your random thoughts and back into reality and your gorgeous boyfriend that stood in front of you. As you nodded, he interlocked his hand with yours, walking out of Lily’s house and to his car on the driveway.

“Have fun, you two!” Marlene practically screamed, partly-hiding a stressed lily who was putting her shoes on with her special camera laid next to her on the stairs step. You barely had time to think or question as you approached the passenger door to his car, saying your own goodbyes, sitting comfortably in the front.

James had promised that today’s date was a complete surprise and that you weren’t allowed any hints of what was to come, which made the night even more special and exciting. Apart from the dress code of a lovely dress, thats all he had given you. Despite his want to spill and tell you everything like he somehow usually always did.

After a twenty minute car ride you seemed to have arrived, partly finding the location familiar but not completely certain whilst being bombarded with the emotion of excitement. Every date or even normal typical day with James was like this. Filled with love and excitement.

“Sweetheart, be careful as we walk around here.” James lovingly warned you as you two approached the sand. Wisely, you had stopped to unbuckle your heels to hold instead of attempting to walk on the sand with uncomfortable shoes.

As you took in your surroundings, the remembrance found its way to you and thats when you recalled the time you and james had came to this exact beach with your friends after spending a weekend at lily’s house in summer. It was the very day you and him had first said i love you to each other, the day you knew he was it for you and the day he knew you were his forever.

“I remember this beach.” You choked out as the two of you strolled along the sand to the crashing of the waves and the beautiful orangey sunset in the horizon. The two of you stopped, James dropping your hand as he fumbled around in his trousers pocket. You looked around and swore you saw the figures of your friends in the bushes. And thats when you knew.

“James.” Your voice cracked, looking back at your boyfriend who was now on one knee holding out a velvet box with a shimmering stone ring in it. Tears immediately formed and streamed down your face as your hands attempted to wipe them away.

“Y/n Y/l/n. You are the best thing to undoubtedly ever happen to me, and i will never forget the day that a Ravenclaw strutted up to me and my friends and scolded us for bumping into her friend in the hallway and i asked her if a date in Hogesmeade would make up for it,” He chuckled as you let out a laugh and a load more of tears, “because if i didn’t, i wouldn’t be here now, begging on my knees for you to marry me and officially become Mrs Potter,” he continued, taking the ring out of the box, “So please, y/n/n, darling, the love of my life, would you do me the honours of becoming my wife?” He asked, head tilting as his curls moved into his face.

Your head immediately nodded before you could even get a word out. “Yes! Yes!” You exclaimed as James grinned, delicately placing the ring on your finger. Cheers and Whoops sounded around you, but you didn’t bother to look as James got up and instantly brought you up into a warming hug, childishly spinning you around by your waist and peppering kisses all over your tear-stained face.

“I love you so much sweetheart, and i always will.” He breathed out in between all the mayhem, looking longingly into your glass-coated eyes.

“And i love you too Jamie, forever and whatever comes after that.” You grinned, pressing a passionate kiss to his cheek as his hands found its way to your baby bump.

#marauders #marauders era #marauders imagine #marauders x reader #marauders fluff #james potter #james potter sad imagine #james potter x you #james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter fluff #lily evans fluff #lily evans x reader #marlene mckinnon x reader #dad!james potter #husband! james potter

326 notes · View notes

fookingmuffins · 11 months

Text

Say something babe

James potter x reader

Angst

I have not written anything in years and English is not my first language, so pls be kind. I'm trying to do things that scare me (posting my writing) just to get over my fears, and I hope you guys enjoy. (Or not since it's angst sksksk) also, this is not proofread at all I kinda wrote it in my notes and ran imma edit it tomorrow when I'm not half asleep

Pic creds to @/sofflllll on pintrest

You giggled quietly as you were sneaking into the Gryffindor common room with the help of your best friend Penny to surprise your boyfriend. You had been dismissed from your last club meeting before break earlier than expected, and you were dying for a cuddle session after barely seeing him this last week with the many activities you had been doing from extra classes to the clubs you were part of.

"Oi potter! You got to tell me, mate, what's the matter between you and y/n?" You abruptly stopped with Penny looking at each other as you heard your name being mentioned between James and a voice you recognized as Castor, one of his quidditch buddies and a guy who had been randomly getting flirty with you despite your protest and the fact the whole school knew you were with James. You had mentioned to James how uncomfortable Castor made you feel before, but he brushed it off and always seemed preoccupied with other matters, assuring you Castor was just being a boy.

"What about her?" James said with an uncomfortable chuckle

"Well, you're clearly messing with Evans recently, so I was wondering where that would leave her at tonight's party?" You felt Penny squeeze your hand and pull it a little as tears welled up in your eyes. Messing with Evans? You had been with James for a year now, and you knew he liked Lily before, but that was long over before you two got together when they decided they were better off as friends. You held your breath as you waited for James to say something, to deny that something was happening between him and Lily and tell them off because you were his but all you heard was his signature boyish laugh that usually got you grinning like a fool and made your bad days better but this time all you felt was a knot form in your throat.

Penny tried to pull your hand to get the two of you out of there but all you did was shake your head and pull her back, you were frozen in place and needed to hear more despite everything in you telling you to run. "She's all yours if she'll have you mate. Might help me distract her a bit while Lily and I have some fun." A knot formed at the back of your throat, and you tried to swallow it as you blinked to stop the tears that were threatening to spill, but you just couldn't.

"OH come on, Potter, you cannot be serious, I really thought she was gonna be your wife once we left Hogwarts." You heard Percy, another teammate, say. "The girl seems head over heels for you and half the school wanted her, and she chose you"

"That's just it! She is so obsessed with me, it's suffocating! Definitely would never marry her. Can you imagine that? At Hogwarts, I at least get away from her when I'm in the common room, but having to live with her seems like torture to me. Especially with all her stupid friends always around" After hearing that you turned around leaving Penny behind and ran out of the portrait you had just been so careful to pass through unnoticed. You could hear Penny try to catch up to you and call out your name once you were a bit far from the Gryffindor entrance, but you just kept running, although you felt like you couldn't breathe and your vision was blurry. Had he always felt that way about you? Maybe you had done something wrong and that's why he was saying that. You probably were clingy, but you were just trying to help and show him you were there for him despite the many activities you had gotten yourself involved with since you joined Hogwarts.

As soon as you got into your dorm, you started packing the last few things you were gonna take over spring break, checking the time and realizing you could still make the night train. You were supposed to leave the next day with James and all of his friends after spending the day at Hogsmade, but he obviously would prefer it if you didn't. When you were ready you stood in front of your door slowly feeling the knot in your throat fade along with that uncomfortable pang in your chest, suddenly you felt nothing, It's like James Potter had so much control of my emotions you didn't know what to feel anymore.

When you made it on the train, you sat in an empty cabin away from the few passengers who were also on board and just stared at the seat in front of you. You wanted to be mad to feel something, but everything in you had turned numb, and you felt sleep take over from the crying you had done earlier.

Part 2?

#james potter x reader angst #james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter #james potter x lily evans #james potter angst #james potter x y/n #fanfic

541 notes · View notes

jimblejamblewritings · 11 months

Text

the fake date plot | part 1.

Summary: Gryffindors, seventh years, classmates, unrequited love. Just a few things Y/N and James Potter had in common. When a brilliantly dumb plan is hatched the two end up getting something a little different than what they wanted.

Author's Note: Hello! Yes, I'm here with a wip before finishing my other stuff. The James girlies have led me down a rabbit hole and some of the cutest stories are in the James tag. So before you read this, please read: If I Kiss You, I'm Sorry by @astonishment which is what inspired this fic.

Warnings for the Series: literally none that I can think of this is supposed to be just good fluffy fun

Pairing: James Potter x reader

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N II: I literally use whatever gif comes up when I type in 'James Potter' but imagine your own fancasts and I might switch up every now and then

Series Masterlist

“Prongs, there’s some owl at the window,” Remus said as he exited the kitchen.

James lifted his head, trying not to disturb Peter who was using his chest as a headboard while he tried to solve the Rubik’s Cube Remus had bought him for his birthday. It was summer and naturally, as someone going into his last year of school when break ended, James threw a party at his house.

His parents were going to be on business trips most of the summer. The party was a major success. Only the marauders, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary were still there. They had all planned on staying, already having their trunks there. School was in two days.

James hopped up from where he was on the floor, cleaning the smudge of his glasses. “Oh, that must be Elton.”

“Elton?” Peter asked.

“Y/N’s bird. She really likes Elton John’s music. He’s some muggle singer. Moony knows, the Crocodile Rock dude.”

James left the rest of his friends in the living room to ask how he even knew you while he got your letter. He dug around the fridge to give Elton two blackberries as a thank you. James opened your letter in the kitchen before going back to his friends, in case your letter had confidential information in it.

He hid the smirk on his face behind the letter when he saw his friends’ expressions. They totally bought it and they would buy it even more when he saw you on the Hogwarts Express in two days. You and James came up with the best fake date plot known to man last school year:

It was the Yule Ball. Hogwarts kept the name even though you didn’t have Triwizard Tournaments every year. The students like that. It was always fun to go to a ball. It was also nerve wracking. Everyone was trying to get a date or they’d risk being talked about for a century. James was failing at asking Lily out and you were failing at avoiding a few boys that wanted to ask you out. None of them were the guy you wanted to ask you out.

Even when you got to the ball, boys were still trying to ask you to dance. You grabbed a cup of punch and excused yourself. You walked further away from the Great Hall and to a small corridor. A dark figure made you stop for a moment before continuing on your path. A sniffle made you stop completely.

“Are you okay?”

James jumped. Wiping at his eyes, he looked over at you. James stuttered through lies before giving up and turning the other way to lean his back against the windowsill. He took a sip of the drink he had in his hand and looked over at you.

“She can't even spare a dance with me. I thought everything was going well this year.”

You gave a dry laugh. “I totally know the feeling.”

James raised an eyebrow. He patted the space next to him and went to join him at the windowsill. The two of you clinked glasses and downed the rest of your drinks. James disappeared the cups.

“So which bloke did you want to dance with?”

“Oh, I don’t really think that’s important.”

“Nope, Y/N. It is totally important. I’ve poured my heart out to you, it’s just not right to be the only one.”

“Fine. Xenophilius… Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not laughing. Him? Really?”

“I know he’s snogged a lot of people but h��”

“Love, he’s shagged nearly all of Ravenclaw. The only long term relationship he’s ever been in was Pandora.”

“But they lasted all of fifth year plus the Ministry added eighth year so there’s still time to see him a lot.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me about eighth year.”

The Ministry was very concerned with the amount of Hogwarts graduates getting married and having children right after leaving school. Especially when a good chunk of them died either fighting for Voldemort or against Voldemort. Adding an extra school year was a way to try and quell that phenomenon. As someone so close to graduating, you hated it at first. It became only a minor annoyance when you realized the Ministry probably wouldn’t be changing their minds until Voldemort was defeated.

James shrugged his shoulders. “So what’s your plan exactly? Pine after Xeno all of next year and then when eighth year comes around hope he stops hooking up in Gryffindor locker rooms long enough to realize you’re perfect for him?”

“He hooks up in Gryffindor locker rooms?” you asked with slightly widened eyes.

“Unfortunately. Our rooms are closest to the pitch, easier to sneak in and out during games.”

“Do you really think I’m perfect for him?”

“Y/N,” James said with a roll of his eyes. “I haven’t sat next to you in Potions every class since first year to not know that if Xeno took just a week off from trying to fuck everything with a pulse he’d know you are one of the nicest and cutest girls he’s ever going to get. You’re wicked smart too which is up his alley… I still don’t understand how he still gets the grades he does.”

“Thanks, James. For what it’s worth, I think Lily is missing out on a very observant and handsome and sweet guy even if your pranks go a little too far sometimes.”

“Well, we only save those for people that like to pick on those smaller than them.”

“I know.”

“Do you feel like going back to the ball? Because I don’t.”

“Not really.”

James held out his arm. “Shall we make our way to Gryffindor, my lady.”

“We shall, good sir.”

You and James skipped through the halls until you made it back to Gryffindor tower. You ended up following him up to his dorm which you had never seen before. Despite being assigned class partners since you two were eleven, you weren’t exactly friends with James Potter. Just acquaintances was what you were.

The marauders’ dorm was nice. The first thing you noticed was the fact that they reconfigured their beds. Almost every bed was laying horizontal and flush against the wall, like a bed turned couch. And the wardrobes were also flush against the wall either at the head or foot of the beds, whichever allowed all the beds to see each other. You’d have to proposition your roommates about doing that. It made the space so much wider and seemed to give everyone a personal area.

James led you to his bed area with a blue rug in front of it. You took off your shoes and set them neatly next to his, noting how he was very organized about his shoes being lined up underneath the bed. James moved to the wardrobe at the foot of his bed. His hand dug through the shelves for his pajamas.

“Do you want something to change into?”

You took some of his clothes with a thanks and went into the bathroom to wash and get changed. You and James were going to open the firewhiskey in Sirius’ trunk and vent to each other while getting progressively drunker. James started to make himself a little cot on the floor while you took a shower. Something told him that you two would probably stay up late and potentially fall asleep. He already decided that you were getting the bed.

You laid down on the bed and ate some fizzing whizbees while waiting for James to finish showering. You shot up when James practically broke his own door. His hair was still wet and his clothes looked very disheveled on him.

“I have a plan so dumb it might work on luck alone,” he said as he shook your shoulders.

“I’m listening.”

“Go out with me.”

You laughed. “James, are you already drunk?”

“Just a bit tipsy. But listen to me. You want Xenophilius, I want Lily but neither of them seem to really notice us. So let’s make them notice.”

“You want to make them jealous?”

“Well, I don’t know if they’ll be jealous but I want to make them feel something. Don’t you think they would at least be curious about why we suddenly stopped pinning over them? They’d at least talk to us more, I just know it.”

“Okay, one problem. You scream through the corridors about how much you love Lily. I think only my friends know that I like him and one of those friends is Lily.”

“You two are friends?”

“Well, we’re roommates, one of the few Gryffindor dorms with five girls. I’m really just friends with Dorcas and Alice when she’s not holed up in Hufflepuff.”

“I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but you’re gonna have to do something embarrassing.”

And that was how you found yourself waiting outside Ravenclaw’s locker room before the big quidditch match on the last day of first semester. If anyone talks, it’s going to be quidditch players. They chuckled a bit while you waited for Xenophilius to come outside, some even going back in to tell him that you were there.

He finally left the dressing room after what seemed like forever and stood right in front of you. Reluctantly, you gave him a small gift and wished him luck before scurrying to find your roommates in the stands. You didn’t think it would take very long for the gossip to spread. What you didn’t expect was for you to get the label of a lovesick puppy. That was worse than what they called James. You told him such over winter break.

The two of you were at his house for the entirety of the break, teaching each other all about yourselves and finishing the plot. You two wouldn’t start fake-dating until the start of seventh year, on the Hogwarts Express to be exact… with James doing a big gesture that was entirely his idea. He was super invested in making it believable. If it wasn’t believable then there was no point.

James handed over your letter to Peter who was still next to him. “Y/N says hi and she’s sorry she couldn’t make it to the party.”

“Since when were you talking to our roommate?” Marlene asked.

“Since I’ve sat next to her everyday in Potions and Transfiguration since we were first years.”

“You’ve been assigned that long?”

“Yeah,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “Minnie and Slughorn never switched us. I should probably write something back to her.”

The only thing in James’ letter was that he thinks the plan might work. Everyone perked up at the notion of you two being secret friends so maybe fake-dating would work after all. You threw the letter into your trunk and headed to Platform 9 and ¾. You went to find Alice who would hopefully be alone or with her other Hufflepuff friends.

That was what James wanted anyway. He came in about halfway through the train ride when you were in the middle of talking with your friends. James sheepishly held up a sweater and tapped on the window. Alice nodded for him to come in. The girl was shocked when he immediately turned to you.

“Bug?”

“Yes, Prongs?”

“Do you remember last year when you said you sew? Do you think you can mend this?”

“It’s not even autumn yet. Why do you need the jumper now?”

“I just thought I’d forget unless I said it right at this moment.”

You rolled your eyes but looked for a sewing kit in your trunk. Setting it on the bench, you grabbed the sweater and gently pushed him out of the room.

“Why am I friends with you?”

“Because you love me.”

“Goodbye, James Potter.”

“Bye, Bug. Thank you.”

You sat back down and dug through your sewing kit before muttering that you didn’t have navy blue thread and would try to find some. You had already known that you didn’t have the correct color thread. But a certain Ravenclaw probably did. Your hand shook a bit as you closed the door to your compartment:

“What are Xeno’s hobbies?” James asked when you two took a break to hang out at the pool in his backyard when you arrived early in the summer.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s a load of bull. I know Lily’s favorite gemstone is carnelian because it matches her hair. So what’s one of the man's hobbies?”

“He likes to sew.”

“Oh this is brilliant.”

You knocked on the door of the train compartment that Xenophilius, his friends, and the new girl he was with for the start of school. He and his friends smiled at seeing you and let you in. You held up the sweater.

“Do any of you have navy blue thread? I’m trying to mend a jumper.”

Xeno summoned the spool of thread from out of his trunk. He held it up in his hand until you came in to receive it. His hold lingered on yours.

“You like to sew?”

You shrugged. “It’s more of a hobby. I’ve only ever done stuff for myself until now.”

“Is that for your mum? My first gift to someone else was for my parents.”

“No, James Potter. The idiot can’t mend a simple hole in a sweater. Thank you for the thread, I’ll return it before dinner.”

You smiled a little as you walked back to your compartment. Xenophilius’ smile had twitched a bit when you mentioned James’ name. Maybe his plan might work. Your friends had clearly been gossiping about you when you were gone. There was no doubt that the Ravenclaws were gossiping about you when you left. And because James insisted that you give him his sweater once everyone got into the Great Hall, you were sure other people were bound to gossip.

James ignored the other marauders when they got back to their dorms. He’d tell his friends the truth eventually but it was necessary they also believe the lie for at least a month or two. You and him were supposed to be close friends for the first month. If Lily or Xenophilius didn’t make a move from that alone then you would start fake-dating. It was a foolproof idea really.

(part 2)

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@venomsvl @peaches-n-sunscreen @summerellaz @supernaturallover2002 @sambucky8 @9daykrisr @thebitchinleo @23victoria @scarlets-widow @pagetpagetpagetpaget @lovexnatasha @awesomebooklover17 @1234-angelika @imatrisk @blackreaderatrisk @princess-jules47 @alexloveskili @a-marie-a @siriuslysirius1107 @i-have-no-life-charlie

#james potter x reader #james potter x black!reader #hogwarts #james potter x reader fic #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter fic #marauders imagines #marauders fic #marauders era #james potter fluff #marauders fluff

488 notes · View notes

turvi · 4 months

Note

Hi beautifulll! Could you write a piece were student reader x professor Severus are in long secret relationship - and imagine Harry and reader are in the great hall during lunch talking to each other in hushed voices etc trying to not make too much of a fuss but you can tell something is wrong, which Severus notices. And then Harry gets up and storms out of the hall with reader running to follow. Later they both end up coming in late to their Potions class, to which Severus just eyes them weirdly before taking points away ofc. Anyway after the class is over he asks reader to stay back and asks her what’s going on. She doesn’t tell and then says that Harry confessed he likes her. Severus gets upset and makes a comment about the potter boys always taking his loved ones any from him before reader comforts him and then it’s just pure fluff of them both comforting one another :) sorry ik it’s long was just ranting my thoughts out!

Severus loathed this feeling. His grip tightened around his quill as he saw Y/n laughing with Harry. Y/n’s laughter used to sound like honey in his ears when he was the reason she laughed but now it pricked his heart how that dunderhead was making his girl laugh. Severus hated how beautiful she looked as she smiled at Harry. He wanted to be the only one who saw her smile like that.

His brows furrowed deeper when he saw Harry whisper in Y/n’s ear. The voices in the Great Hall faded and he felt a tinge in his chest as he saw them leave the Great Hall. Severus felt a sense of deja vu. This was how he had started to lose Lily. This is how he will lose Y/n. He will no longer feel her soft fingers on his skin, he will no longer see her looking at him in so much love, and he will no longer hear her humming as he slowly falls asleep.

Severus got up abruptly and went to the Potions classroom even though he had 30 minutes for the next class. He couldn’t be in front of so many people while his heart was breaking with mere thoughts of Y/n being with Harry. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t realise when the students came in. He cleared his throat and started looking for her as everyone settled. There was no sign of Harry or Y/n. That was it. He had lost her.

He was about to turn his back when he saw the door open and Y/n and Harry entering the classroom. Severus noticed how she avoided his gaze, looking everywhere but at him. His booming voice made everyone jump. “30 points each from Gryffindor.” He didn’t bother speaking much and turned his attention to teaching the class ignoring his heartache as he saw Harry glancing at Y/n now and then.

Severus was so involved in his thoughts that he didn’t realise the minutes passed and the class was over. He held back his scoff as he saw the students hurriedly collecting their belongings in their bags. As usual, his onyx eyes found Y/n, he walked closer to her desk “Miss L/n stay back…we need to have a conversation about your…performance” he demanded and Y/n felt a shiver down her spine. She felt her throat dry when she saw his cold gaze on her.

As soon as the last student left Severus put his palms on her desk. “Why were you late L/n?” Y/n felt her heart clench as she heard him say her last name with such coldness…as if she didn’t mean anything to him.

She took a shuddered breath and finally spoke up, “Harry…he…he said he…he….has a crush on…me” Y/n noticed him clenching his jaw and immediately cupped his cheek. Her touch brought Severus out of his rage daze.

“These buffoon Potter boys are always trying to take my love away from me” Severus huffed and started picking his nails. Y/n gently placed her hand in his, kissing the back of his hand.

“But he didn’t Severus,” she spoke so softly it immediately eased his heart, as if he didn’t need to hear anything else, “Harry can’t take me away from you…not when I am so stubborn and so terribly in love with you that I am willing to stand by you no matter how rough life gets for us.”

Us. That was a word Severus had barely heard. Any sense of family was lost for him when he lost Lily but now when he looks into Y/n’s eyes and can feel her hand in his, he feels complete. Severus couldn’t help but smile at the idea of having someone being there for him, someone he could rely on.

Before tears could leave his eyes he placed his forehead on hers, closing his eyes. Enjoying her presence, the feeling of her breath made him feel like someone had now wrapped a warm blanket around him to save him from the harsh cold.

“No words can explain how thankful I am for your presence” he couldn’t keep his hands back from touching her, her smile only encouraging him more. “I am so terribly in love with you too.”

Her giggles warmed him up more, his heart beating wildly in his chest as she peppered kisses all over his face.

A/N: I apologise for the long delay (I got this request in July eshh.) too much happened this year and now I am back feeling fresh after a hectic few months. Again so sorry for the delay I have so many more stories and I will post them soon. <3

164 notes · View notes

peotego · 17 days

Text

Unconditionally | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x fem!Black!reader

Summary: Three times when you realised you are in love with your brother’s best friend and one time when it all suddenly made sense.

Warnings: some swear words, my English? (since it’s not my first language)

Words: 4k

Masterlist

James' POV

*~*~*

Whenever I tried to think back to the time when it all started, I couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment when I realised I loved James Potter.

He was my brother’s best friend, for Merlin’s sake!

I remember I hated him when we first met. Maybe it was because he was a Potter and my father told us to never befriend a Potter? I was, after all, a daddy’s girl at that time. Sirius loved the idea of going against our father’s orders but me? Not really. I was a good girl.

I stopped being the favourite child of the Black family when I was sorted to Gryffindor alongside my twin brother. It caused a lot of arguing back at home. Sirius was proud to be a Gryffindor. Me? Not so much. Imagine being the favourite child spoiled with compliments only to become a black sheep. I couldn’t bear it. But maybe it was good because it helped me to bond with my brother more? I was even more furious when Regulus was sorted to Slytherin the year after that and took my rightful place on the pedestal. Finally, I understood how my brothers have always felt.

At that time Sirius was a great friend. He helped me get through all the bad feelings I had about myself for something that wasn’t really my fault. Finally, I was okay with all that had happened.

But back to James Potter. The thorn in my side.

Everybody knew he loved Lily Evans, he wasn’t very discreet about his big, awful crush on her. The whole bloody Hogwarts knew about his infatuation with the redhead girl. I used to tease him about it alongside Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

Maybe it was in our 6th year? When I realised?

We were all sitting in Potions classes when Slughorn decided we should work in pairs. I turned to Lily because we usually partnered up.

“Oh, no, no, no,” said Slughron with a big smile on his face “We should mix things up a bit. I’m going to assign your partners”

All of the students present growled at his revelation. I feared I would end up with some Slytherin bloke. However, Slughorn had other plans.

And in that way, Sirius ended up working with Peter (a disaster indeed), Remus was assigned to some Slytherin girl (poor Remus), Lily with Severus Snape (well, they were still friends at that point), Dorcas with a shy girl from Gryffindor, I believed her name was Lucy (Lucy was good at Potions so Dorcas won a partners lottery), Marlene and Mary together (they worked good together), and that left me with James Potter.

I smiled at him but inside I was screaming. Everybody knew Potter was good at every single class but he rarely paid attention to the instructions. I knew I would end up doing all the work myself and constantly reminding him to focus. What I didn’t anticipate was that we would be working on an Amortentia potion. Slughorn first called us to see what the potion should look like and, of course, he asked us what we could smell.

When I tried to concentrate, I recognised the smell of old books, my favourite candy from Honeydukes, Andromeda’s famous pumpkin pie, and something I couldn’t quite recognise.

That’s when the revelation came and I was hit in the face with the smell of James’ cologne. I thought he was standing too close to me but when I looked around he was actually close to Lily Evans bothering her.

The whole class was a nightmare only because I now knew that somehow James Potter’s smell was in MY Amortentia potion. His constant questions about what I could smell didn’t help either. He was too curious for his own good.

“Just drop it, Potter”

“You probably smelled a wet rat”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night”

“I couldn’t sleep if I knew you fancied Wormtail”

“Stop, Potter, or I’m going to hex you”

“Always a charmer, Black”

He tried to touch my shoulder but I was still too scared from the moments before when I smelled him in the potion so I shuffled a little so as not to be touched by the boy. James looked confused and his smile dropped a little but I paid no attention to it, too preoccupied with my own conflicting thoughts.

When the class ended, I quickly packed my bags and left the classroom.

We never talked about it again.

*~*~*

Maybe it was at a party after Gryffindor won with Slytherin? We were all having a blast till the very end. I danced with my friends, drank a lot, and flirted with some boys who tried to get my attention. It wasn’t until our little group of friends were the only ones that stayed in the common room. Marlene had a genius plan to play Spin the Bottle. You had to kiss the person it landed on.

“I’m not going to kiss my sister, McKinnon,” said Sirius. I pretended to vomit at the mere thought of it.

“He’s right, Marlene, what are we supposed to do if it lands on one of us? I know Blacks have a tradition of marrying within the family but I really do not wish to continue this madness”

“Okay, if you don’t want to kiss someone, you need to answer a question truthfully and drink”

We all agreed to that.

Now I see it was stupid.

Remus spun the bottle first and it landed on Peter.

“Truth, please,” said Lupin and we all laughed.

“Okay, Remus, who was your first real kiss?” asked Mary. Remus looked uncomfortable, and so did I because I knew the truth.

“Um, I don’t know if she wants her identity to be revealed” Remus tried to dodge the question.

“Shut up, Moony, you agreed to play the game!” Sirius gave him a shot of firewhiskey which he needed to drink after answering the question.

“Okay” Remus sighed “It was (Y/N)”

“You kissed my sister?!”

“You wanted me to tell the truth!”

“I think I made myself very clear when I said that my sister is off-limits for you idiots!”

“Well, brother, that’s why the kiss was so good” I tried defending Remus but probably made it worse “Because it was forbidden” I winked at Remus who quickly emptied his glass and blushed like crazy.

“This conversation isn’t over” Sirius pointed at his friend “Are you going to tell me you snogged Prongs and Wormtail too?” he asked me.

“You’ll never know, brother”

Peter spinned the bottle next and it landed on Mary. It was a quick kiss.

Mary needed then to kiss Marlene.

Marlene kissed my brother who then kissed Lily.

Lily spun the bottle and I saw that James wanted really badly for it to land on him. His dreams were crushed when it stopped at Dorcas.

Then Dorcas kissed Remus.

But when Remus spun again it landed on me.

“Come here, Remus, for old times’ sake”

Sirius screamed something I couldn’t understand. The kiss with Remus was sweet and quick, just like I remembered our first one. I smiled reassuringly at him after but I knew my brother would talk his ears off later on.

I took the bottle and spun it. I prayed it wouldn’t land on Sirius.

Well.

The bottle landed on James Potter instead.

“Two out of three. Better get ready Peter” I said with a smirk but inside I was actually stressed. I still remembered his smell in amortentia.

James slowly made his way to me never once breaking the eye contact. He sat in front of me, staring intensely. He put his hand on my cheek when his lips met mine. I shut my eyes closed and kissed him back. His lips were soft and, Merlin, he knew what he was doing when he pushed his tongue inside my mouth. I grasped his shirt bringing him closer to me and biting on his lower lip. He moaned a little trying to kiss me even harder but he had too much strength and it ended up with us falling to the ground, James on top of me.

“That’s enough, Prongs, it’s my sister” Sirius helped James get up and then gave me a hand.

I don’t remember much from that party after that.

My mind was still fixated on that little moan.

James Potter’s kiss made my legs weak.

It was mind-blowing.

*~*~*

The party was long forgotten when next day James declared his undying love for Lily Evans to the whole school during breakfast. I tried to squish my little crush when I still had the chance to move on.

At the end of our 6th year, I knew I was fucked. I noticed every single little thing about James Potter. I liked the way those little wrinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes when he was laughing. I loved his jokes. I adored how much he cared for his friends and family, how he could do absolutely everything in his power to cheer Remus up after a full moon, how he got out of his way to tell Sirius and me that our family name didn’t define us as people, how he would defend Peter when Sirius was making fun of him.

I was even mad at Lily for not seeing how wonderful he was. I was furious when she was still rejecting him, making fun of him. He didn’t deserve that. He deserved to be loved unconditionally. He deserved someone who would fall madly, truly, deeply in love with him, who would know all his quirks and bad sides and even though still love him for who he was.

James Potter was loud and obnoxious and he did strut a little but he was also devoted to his friends, funny, caring, and good-hearted. And if Lily Evans didn’t see that, it was my personal mission to make James realise that he deserved better.

Sirius and I spent the summer at the Potters. My brother went there for almost every school break but it was maybe my third time there. I didn’t want to leave Reggie alone with our parents but turned out he was more than okay with their way of treating me. That was when I sent an owl to Sirius and he told me to pack my bags and go to the Potters.

We had a lot of fun together. We laughed, we played quidditch, we talked a lot, and I even helped them plan their next prank for the beginning of our last year at Hogwarts. Euphemia Potter was a sweet lady who welcomed me to her house with open arms. I helped her a lot around the house and talked to her about every little thing I couldn’t talk about with my mother. She was great, she made me realise that maybe I had a mother but I never had a mom.

Fleamont Potter was just like James but older. He made a lot of jokes, gave us candy when his wife wasn’t looking, he even asked me if I could marry his son once.

”You see, (Y/N), I believe you would be a great match for my son. I see how he looks at you, how his smile is wider whenever you are near. He talks about his mystery girl a lot but he could never tell us when we would be able to meet the love of his life, as he likes to call her. Now I see why. Sirius is always around and I’m not sure he would be okay with his best friend dating his sister”

”Oh, Mr Potter, I think you have it all wrong. I appreciate the vote of confidence but I am not James’ mystery girl. Her name is Lily and she’s my friend”

”We’ll see about that, (Y/N)”

During one evening Sirius went to bed earlier because he didn’t feel good and that left me and James alone in his backyard, lying on the grass and looking up at the night sky.

”Jamie, your father wants me to marry you”

”What?!”

”Yeah, crazy, right? He thinks I’m your mystery girl”

”Oh, and what did you tell him?”

”That it’s definitely not me. That I know the girl you have a crush on and he said that we’ll see”

”I have no idea why he said that I’m very sorry”

”No big deal, Potter”

After a moment of silence, I decided it was time to talk to James about Lily. I was nervous and a little scared that the conversation would ruin our friendship.

”James”

”(Y/N)”

”I’ve been thinking about you and Lily for a while”

”Oh?”

”Yeah” I took a deep breath before continuing,” I think she doesn’t deserve you”

”How so?”

”You see, Jamie, you’ve been trying to get the girl since we were thirteen years old and she’s still not even slightly interested in going on a date with you. She’s always laughing at you, turning you down. I don’t think that’s very good for you. I get that you’re in love with her but maybe you should start thinking about yourself a little bit?”

James was quiet for a moment.

”What do you mean?”

”You deserve the world, James Potter. You deserve a girl who will be madly in love with you. You deserve a girl who will love you unconditionally. You are a good guy. Sure, you have your faults. We all have them. But you should be loved the way you love other people - wholeheartedly. I don’t think Lily is the right girl for you. I’m also not saying you should do whatever I’m telling you right now. I just believe you should think about it a little bit and decide if it’s even worth it. Because you, James Potter, are definitely worth it and it’s her loss if she cannot see that”

”Wow, Black, do you have a crush on me or something?” He chuckled making my heart hurt a little bit.

”You’re also an idiot” I slapped his shoulder but laughed with him too. Despite my smile, my heart was breaking a little bit just because the thought of me having a crush on James only made him laugh. ”I’m your friend, I just hate to see you struggling so much”

”You are a good mate, (Y/N). Thank you for always looking out for me” James took my hand in his and interceded our fingers. He softly caressed my hand with his thumb.

”Always”

*~*~*

During our 7th year, everything changed. James Potter suddenly stopped being interested in Lily Evans anymore. And that was a big, juicy gossip at Hogwarts. How could it have happened that James Potter just stopped loving Lily Evans? Could he have another girl? Maybe he had a secret girlfriend?

There was a lot of gossip about his possible girlfriend going around the school. I was just glad that he finally realised that he was worth much more than what Lily was giving him all those years.

That was also when I noticed that he paid a lot more attention to me. He always sat next to me, he wanted to be partners in every class which made Sirius mad, he helped me with my homework, and he walked me to my classes even when it meant that he would be late to his. It was really weird but I wouldn’t dare to hope he suddenly had a crush on me. I wasn’t stupid.

Until that one fateful night in October when I helped the boys with the prank we planned together. A Ravenclaw prefect was patrolling the corridors. He spotted us near the kitchens and shouted something.

”Run!” Shouted Peter. We all started to run but we were a big group so it would be easy to eventually catch us.

”We need to scatter,” said Remus out of breath. Peter immediately turned the corner and turned into a rat. What a team player.

”(Y/N), here” James took my hand and made me run with him in the opposite direction from Remus and Sirius. He found an empty broom closet and quickly closed the doors behind us. There wasn’t a lot of space so we were very close, our noses were practically touching. James put his fingers on my lips so I was quiet. His other hand was still holding mine and squeezing it reassuringly. After a while, when we were sure the Ravenclaw boy wasn’t coming in this direction, James moved his hand to my waist.

He was staring at me very intensely.

”What?” I whispered to him ”Do I have something on my face? Why are you looking at me like that, Potter?”

”Remember what my dad told you? About my mystery girl?”

”Yeah?” I was confused. Why bringing it up now?

”He was right, you know? It never was Evans. I like her, sure, but as a friend”

”What? Then why were you running after her like a lost puppy all those years?”

”Remember when we first met?”

”Of course, I do, James. I hated you.” He chuckled at that.

”I thought you were a stuck-up rich girl but you proved me wrong, (Y/N). I had this big crush on you in our first year”

I looked at him as if he had three heads. What was he talking about? I put my hand on his forehead to check if he wasn’t sick. He rolled his eyes at me.

”I told Sirius about that. He was my best friend so I thought that he would give me some advice. What I didn’t anticipate though was that he would be overprotective of his sister. He screamed at me almost all night, he said that if I ever try to fancy you again he will personally beat the living shit out of me. I get him, you know? You are his precious little sister…”

”He’s only two minutes and three seconds older”

”…and he wants to protect you from all the bad guys out there even if his best friend is one of them. So I tried to never talk about that again. But Sirius knew. In our third year, he came up with a rule which he then proudly told us about. We are friends and friends don’t fancy each other's siblings. If we ever dare to break the rule, that means we were never friends in the first place. I was scared, you know? I didn’t want to lose both of you so I told him later that he has nothing to worry about because I don’t fancy you anymore, that there is another girl I have my eyes on. He asked me who it was and I panicked. Lily Evans was the first one to come to my mind because you two were always together. So as not to lose my best friend I tried to persuade him that I love Lily Evans”

”You were quite good at that”

”Shut up, Black, I’m not finished. Then you mentioned the conversation with my father and told me to look for someone who deserves me. Love, the problem is I never felt good enough for you but your words made me think. If not now then when? Am I supposed to watch you fall in love with some idiot? Am I supposed to stand in the crowd at your wedding even though I want to be the one waiting at the altar for you? Am I supposed to let the girl of my dreams slip through my fingers because I’m too scared of what my best friend will say about this? You said a lot of nice things about me that night so let me return the favor. You are incredibly smart and witty, (Y/N) Black. I love it when you get so preoccupied with your book that you’re not really paying attention to the world around you. You bite your lip a lot when you’re focused on the books you like. I adore the way you always come up with a sarcastic comment about everything stupid we say. I like to watch you cheer for me and your brother at quidditch matches. I love the way you care for your friends and family, even when some of them obviously don’t deserve that. You are stunning, (Y/N) Black, in and out and I am madly in love with you”

”Remember that one class last year when we were making amortentia? You asked me what I smelled and I didn’t want to tell you”

”I remember”

”That’s because I smelled you and it scared the living shit out of me”

”You smelled me?” James was surprised but he had a small smile on his face.

”Yes” I looked down because I knew I just blushed like crazy and was a little embarrassed about that ”Later on there was this big party after you guys crushed Slytherins at quidditch and Marlene suggested spin the bottle game”

”I really wished that damn bottle would point at me. I might have used a spell to be sure actually”

”You what?”

”That kiss was totally worth it. I still think about it”

”You used magic to kiss me? You’re a fool, James Potter” I laughed a little but couldn’t help myself and grinned happily. ”You didn’t have to do that”

”And why is that?” James smiled at me and let go of my hand. He cupped my cheek instead and waited patiently for my answer. That little bastard. I stared at his lips for longer than I would like to admit it. But, Merlin, how much I wanted to taste those soft lips again, to hear him moan in my mouth.

”Because,” I said getting closer to him. He still looked me in the eyes, our lips brushed when I said the next part ”I am madly in love with you too, James Potter”

He didn’t wait for another second. He pushed his lips against mine and kissed me hard. I put my arms around his neck trying to bring him closer to me. One of his hands wandered behind my back and under my shirt while the other tangled itself in my hair. I bit his lower lip again hoping that I would get the reaction I wanted.

And I did.

He moaned into my lips and put his tongue in my mouth. I remember that at one point we knocked a broom over but we didn’t care much about that.

I felt happy, over the moon happy. James made me feel all of the emotions at once: excitement, love, happiness. I felt as if I was made just for him and he for me. When our lips met it was like fireworks on New Year’s Eve, as cheesy as it sounds. But James Potter made me into one of those giggly girls who wouldn’t shut up about their boyfriends. And the worst part is, I didn’t mind.

When we finally broke apart to get some air, James was grinning like crazy and still holding me close to him. I wondered if he could feel the way my heart was beating so fast.

In that small broom closet, I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world.

James suddenly became very serious and there was a wrinkle on his forehead as if he was worried about something. He hid his head on my shoulder and hugged me tightly.

”James?”

”Merlin, how am I going to tell that to Padfoot”

”That’s something we should worry about tomorrow”

”Can you kiss it better?”

”You’re not hurt?”

”But I will be tomorrow”

93 notes · View notes

starchaserdreams · 3 months

Text

Jegulus Instagram AU part 2

Part 1

Regulus stared at James across the courtyard of the Potter mansion, willing him to look over. James, though, was too busy wrapped up in a conversation with Sirius and Pomona Sprout to even register Regulus' presence.

They were at the Potters' annual Christmas party. Regulus had turned the invitation down every other year Sirius had mentioned it - Regulus had never really been close to James, so it hadn't made sense to go - but he'd accepted this year.

No, he'd asked about it.

Perhaps Sirius hadn't even intended to invite him this year, after Regulus had turned him down so many times before. Regulus and James certainly still weren't close. But Regulus had brought it up, asked the date, and cleared his calendar.

In the last four weeks, James had posted eleven thirst traps on Instagram. Only one of them had gotten likes and comments from his followers. The other ten had been suspiciously invisible to everyone else.

Regulus had the suspicion that this was on purpose.

He hadn't had an actual conversation with James in over a year. He hadn't had a one on one conversation with him in- maybe never. But he was going to start now.

So he'd invited himself, and here he was.

But James hadn't even had the courtesy to be on time to his own family's party, which had left Regulus standing around waiting for him for fifteen minutes. He didn't have any friends here (it wasn't hard to imagine why Crouch or Rosier wouldn't have gotten an invitation) so he'd mostly kept to himself.

A number of older pureblood wizards had stopped to talk to Regulus because they knew his parents (who also definitely had not gotten an invitation). He did his best not to be rude, but he didn't like small talk and he was distracted, so his speech was clipped at best.

Eventually, after laughing at something Professor Sprout had said, James finally turned away from her and his eyes found Regulus immediately.

He winked.

That bastard.

"Excuse me," Regulus said to whoever was talking to him. He had already forgotten and didn't care enough to check.

James' eyes were still on Regulus as Regulus walked towards him.

Without looking away, James said something to Sirius. Sirius' eyes found Regulus too, and he frowned.

Professor Sprout must have been pulled away into some other conversation, because she was gone by the time Regulus paid attention to her again. He'd had tunnel vision all the way across the courtyard until he'd reached his destination. All he could see was James.

"Potter," Regulus said flatly when he arrived.

James was grinning like a maniac, looking altogether too pleased with himself.

"Regulus, you made it," Sirius said in an even tone. He didn't sound happy. If anything, he seemed wary, but that could have been because of Regulus' expression.

"So glad you're here!" James said cheerfully, "Can I get you a drink?"

"No," Regulus said firmly, "Explain yourself."

James and Sirius blinked back at him wordlessly, but their expressions could not have been more different. Sirius looked confused, and James looked thrilled.

"Can't imagine what you mean," James said cheerfully, "but let me get you that-"

"No," Regulus repeated. "Explain."

This time, it was James whom Sirius stared at in confusion.

"What did you do?" He asked. James blinked at him innocently. Sirius' eyes widened in surprise and his jaw dropped open. "No!" He said wildly, "No, no, no!" James just laughed. "It was him?? You made me take- You told me they were for Lily!" Sirius' face was scarlet from both rage and embarrassment. "That is my baby brother!"

Regulus looked from one to the other.

"You did not make him take those pictures," Regulus said, echoing Sirius' rage, "you're despicable."

Sirius and Regulus looked at James with matching expressions, but James just shrugged, looking unbothered.

"I needed the help, and you're my best friend through thick and thin, right?" He asked Sirius.

"Yeah!" Sirius said, gearing up for an argument, "but not-"

"What about what I've done for you?" James asked, "Moony's like a brother to me, and I've done much more-"

"Enough, that's not the same thing!" Sirius said, but his words had less heat in them, and Regulus could tell James was getting to him.

"Yes, but that's his boyfriend," Regulus argued, "who wanted those pictures! You shouldn't have made him take them because I didn't want them!"

James just shook his head.

"Yes you did," James said. His voice was smooth like velvet. "Know how I know that?" Regulus didn't respond, just kept his face fierce. "Because you wouldn't be here if you didn't like it. You would have just blocked me and moved on. That's your style." Regulus' eyes widened. He hated that James was completely right. "I know you, Regulus. I knew that it would either get your attention or it wouldn't. And I got your attention. Plus, you were undressing me with your eyes from the second I walked in." And he had the audacity to wink.

Regulus' eyes widened. For a long moment, both Black brothers just stared at him in silence.

"That's- I wasn't-" Regulus started before giving up. "How would you even know that if you weren't looking at me?"

James raised an eyebrow.

"I always see you, Regulus." His voice was smooth again, deliberately flirty. "And if you've never noticed it before, I'm sure you're going to now."

Sirius put a hand on his own hip.

"Prongs," he said icily, "a word?"

"No!" Regulus objected before he could stop himself.

"Relax, little brother," Sirius said, "you'll get what you want, I just need a minute with him."

"That's not- I don't want-" Regulus started, but he had no idea how to finish that sentence. He didn't know what he wanted. His brain had gone offline while James had been speaking and hadn't totally rebooted yet.

James clapped him on the shoulder.

"Be right back."

And then they walked off, leaving Regulus staring after them.

"Black, how good to-" a woman's voice said to his left.

"No," Regulus said without looking at her, just walking away instead. He could hear her gasp of indignation, but he didn't care.

It took six and a half minutes before Sirius and James finished their conversation and found Regulus again. Not that Regulus was counting.

"Okay here's how this is going to go," Sirius said firmly. "Neither of you is going to hurt them other one, okay, because I don't want to have to pick up the pieces." He looked back and forth between them. "Got it?"

"Of course," James said immediately, looking like he'd win a prize.

Regulus couldn't make sense of it. He hadn't even been a part of the conversation.

"Don't I get a say in this?" He asked angrily, "Seems like a shovel talk shouldn't be necessary if we aren't actually dating-" he coughed to cover how awkward he felt to have used a word that was just an assumption, "or anything else."

Sirius looked at him wearily.

"Reg, I know you better than James does." He glanced at James briefly. "And I know that everything he said was right. You looked ready to drag him into a spare room and lock the door behind you."

Regulus' eyes widened to hear his brother say that so unashamedly.

"It's my parents' house," James began with a laugh, "I have an actual bedroom, there's no need for-"

"Do you want me on your side or not?" Sirius asked dryly.

James mimed zipping his lips like a child.

"I was angry," Regulus argued, "it wasn't bedroom-" he cut off at Sirius' expression, "or broom closet eyes. It was none of that. I was angry."

"How many of those pictures do you have saved to your phone?" Sirius asked. Regulus could feel a blush spread across his face and he closed his eyes, mortified. "Because I know how hot those photos are. I took the bloody pictures." He was silent for a moment and Regulus opened his eyes to watch him. "If you have less than three of them saved, I'll believe you."

Regulus closed his eyes again.

"It's more than that," he said so quietly it was a whisper.

"How many of them?" James asked curiosity.

Regulus shook his head. His eyes found James' and he shrugged helplessly.

"It's all of them, obviously," he said. His voice came out sounding bitter, but that was his embarrassment talking.

"Right then," Sirius said, "I'm off. Have fun, Reg."

"Not me?" James asked with a laugh.

"You don't need to be told," Sirius said. But his voice softened when he turned back to Regulus. "Just- relax a little bit, okay? James is a good guy."

"How are you so okay with this?" Regulus blurted out, "Shouldn't you still be shocked and angry?"

"He wasn't all that caught off guard by it," James interrupted, smiling sheepishly. "I had a thing for you for a while my last year of school and he know about it."

"You-" Regulus stammered, "you did?"

"Yup," James said confidently, "Big time. Wasn't ready to tell you then. But I am now."

"Those pictures certainly said it," Regulus muttered.

"Want some more?" James asked, "I've got some outtakes, or we could always take new ones."

"That's my cue!" Sirius said, turning on his heel and leaving.

"Take new-" Regulus repeated, stuck on that and ignoring his brother entirely, "take new pictures, of-"

"Oh yeah," James said with a wink, "let's find somewhere more private and we can experiment a bit with what you want to see."

"Okay," Regulus said, wide eyed.

He didn't say a word as James led him up the stairs, but his brain was moving a mile a minute with ideas.

James in the shower with the water spraying down on him. James on a broomstick in tight shorts and nothing else. James holding his wand between his teeth while he-

Regulus thoughts were cut off once he was inside the room and James pushed him gently back against the closed door.

"Can I-" he asked. Regulus nodded feverishly. The rest of it could wait.

This part was going to be so fun too.

#marauders #marauders era #dead gay wizards #jegulus #starchaser #sunseeker #regulus black #james potter #instagram au #sirius black #james potter x regulus black

110 notes · View notes

arliedraws · 26 days

Text

Okay, I’m feeling the pull of James Potter and Slytherin!Sirius Black again. Verrryyyy short drabble below. It’s just sexual tension.

—

a good little errand boy

James was twenty-six when he became an Auror. He avoided it for years, ignoring the whisper in the back of his head that the only way he would put Sirius Black in Azkaban was to put the chains on Black himself.

He denied it. He promised himself that he could be satisfied hiding with Lily and Harry until Harry turned eleven, but the damned stories in The Daily Prophet and magazine covers that lauded the most eligible bachelor in the country persisted in mocking him until he finally gave up and told Lily he was getting a job.

By that time, Lily was already working from home as a freelance enchanter, fixing and strengthening charms on magical objects for a repair shop in Diagon Alley. She told him with a cheeky grin to get his lazy bum out of the house.

It took several brutal years of training to become an Auror, and he quickly understood why so few people were admitted to the program. But James was clever and his experience with the Order of the Phoenix propelled him to success; he was satisfied that each agonizing trial and stage of his education brought him closer to bringing Sirius Black to justice. The obsession drove him to wake up early and study before Lily stirred; it compelled him to stay late in Frank Longbottom’s cubicle, rifling through old files and cases, memorizing the history of the department until he knew better than anyone how dark wizards came to power. He traced Black’s long history from his great grandparents to his involvement with two Ministers for Magic and a little-known scandal with a witch from The Daily Prophet who claimed Black tried to pay her off when she dug too deep into his business. She eventually retracted her accusation and left her career as a journalist and refused to talk to James about it when he found her.

Before he was an apprentice, he thought he would have to hunt for Sirius Black once he became a fully qualified Auror. He imagined chasing him through seedy clubs or breaking into old country houses, but it became very clear that Black would eventually come to him.

Black was a frequent visitor to the Ministry. He slithered into the offices of department heads, spilling Galleons from his palms into the hands of tired bureaucrats who simply wished for the whole war to end so they could go back to delegating instead of handling one disaster after another. Black eased their troubles. He was so generous and helpful with his robust understanding of wizarding politics and clever insight.

James recalled seeing Black in action for the first time when he stumbled upon a very pleased Sirius Black shaking Wilmot Blevins’ hand the day after Blevins was made head of the Department of Magical Transportation. Black had turned to James, his smile broadening with delight.

“James Potter,” said Black. There was a feral look to him that made James too furious to consider its implications.

“What are you doing here?” James demanded, looking between Black and Blevins.

“Mr. Black is very kindly congratulating me on my new position,” said Blevins. His long, face appeared dizzy with admiration and he was perspiring slightly beneath his shining fringe of blond hair. “I was telling Mr. Black that I look forward to working with our most prominent families to ensure I serve our community to the best of my ability. Input from exceptional wizards like Mr. Black keeps our fine institution functioning.”

“It was a well-deserved promotion,” added Black. “Don’t you think, Potter? Mr. Blevins has proven to be an incredibly valuable and cooperative component of this governing body. Wouldn’t you agree?”

James wanted the pale, colorless eyes to turn elsewhere but they were observing him with keen interest.

“Yes. Congratulations, Mr. Blevins,” said James, gritting his teeth. Of course, he did not think so at all. Blevins was a half-blood who desperately pretended his mother’s pure blood made up for his father’s muggle heritage. No doubt Black was falsely promising a place for the greedy Blevins among the notable families.

At this, Black smiled again, but somehow, his teeth appeared sharper and whiter.

“Was there something you needed, Potter?” said Black.

“A signature,” said James, locking eyes with Blevins. “It’s about—well, Auror Moody should have sent a request this morning about the matter. I’ve come to confirm your approval.”

Blevins looked uncomfortable as Black’s expression slipped into something neutral.

“Er—well, I’m afraid, Potter, I won’t be signing that just yet.’

“Oh,” said James. “Er—why not? I mean—er—is there a reason? I apologize, sir, I mean, what should I tell Auror Moody? He was expecting this to be signed—”

“Tell him I have not had adequate time to investigate whether or not an entire Knight Bus is necessary for this sort of thing,” said Blevins. His eyes shifted from Black back to James. Assured by a flickered look from Black, he straightened and looked down his nose at James. “Assure Auror Moody I am taking the matter very seriously. The trouble is, as much as I would like to help, I’m afraid my hands are tied. I will do my best, but I can’t make any promises.”

James heard the dismissal in his voice. “Thank you, Mr. Blevins. I’ll let him know.”

He left, avoiding the smirk on Black’s aristocratic face, hoping the humiliation wasn’t evident on his own. He left quickly, hearing Blevins apologize to Black for the interruption. Had he heard the clink of gold exchanged? Maybe he’d imagined it: Black wasn’t that brazen.

Moody would be livid—he’d warned everyone that Blevins was trouble, but James insisted he could get Blevins to approve their request, and now he was returning to his department with his tail between his legs. It was Black’s fault.

He waited for the lift, breathing deeply. Lily told him to count to ten whenever he had a run-in with Sirius Black. Now that they were no longer in school and James was an Auror, the consequence of James attacking Black would not be detention and points from Gryffindor. It would be foolish to blow all that he had done to become an Auror.

“What a good little errand boy. So polite and obedient.”

James went rigid.

“Three years of training, a year of apprenticeship, months of excruciating exams…” said Black. “All that so you can obey the petty commands of an old codger who should have died twenty years ago. I’d be disappointed if I were you.”

James gripped the unsigned, rolled-up parchment as Black made a pitying sound beside him. Don’t look—don’t dignify that with a response. Just do your duty. Ignore him, Potter.

Black sighed. “I suppose you must regret rejecting all of those recruiters for Quidditch teams while we were at school, don’t you? Imagine—you nearly played for Puddlemere United. I don’t doubt you would have been made Captain, and I reckon you might’ve even played for England in the World Cup this summer. Personally, I find it rather disappointing that you didn’t. I would have liked to buy kit with your name on it.”

“What were you doing in Blevins’ office?”

“Welcoming him to his new position.”

“I’m surprised you weren’t on your knees.”

To his surprise, Black laughed. “No need for that with Blevins. He was practically foaming at the mouth when I came in. I suppose we’re lucky you didn’t catch him on his knees.”

“Blevins would suck off anyone with pure blood.”

“Yeah, reckon he might.” Black bent forward, trying to catch James’s gaze. “He’s not propositioned you, has he, Potter?”

James nearly responded with a quip he knew would make Black laugh again, but he bit the inside of his cheek instead. It made him furious. Although they hadn’t spoken in years, there was an ease between them that was almost irresistible.

“Of course,” Black went on when James was silent, “I wouldn’t expect you to take him up on the offer. Ugly bloke, isn’t he? Bit of a downgrade from what you’ve already got at home.”

“What?” James snapped his gaze to him.

Black grinned. “Oh, I meant, I am sure you would much prefer to watch Evans and her pretty little mouth suck you off than Blevins’ ugly mug.”

The lift doors opened suddenly and Black slipped inside, disappearing amongst the throng of passengers.

It was full of people, so much so that James had to squeeze his arms to his sides to wedge himself between them. Like everyone in the lift, he turned and faced the doors, gripping the handle overhead as he quelled the waves of rage that were slamming down on him. Black loved to taunt James about Lily—he’d always done that, long before Lily admitted she had feelings for James.

The lift took off, and James, distracted by his fury, lost his grip and stumbled backward. A strong pair of hands squeezed his hips, steadying him.

“Easy, Potter.”

The shock of Black’s hands on him, carefully keeping him from falling over, dispelled rationality. His mind scrambling, James lurched with the lift, still unable to find his footing; he felt Black curl fingers over his wrist to guide James’s hand back to grip the handle above him.

“Don’t touch me,” James hissed.

The damned lift jerked to a halt, and he staggered again into Black’s hard body. There was a low rumble of laughter in his ear as the doors opened, and people streamed in and out, all of them oblivious to the way his heart palpitated so loudly, the sound of it lost to the shuffle of feet and murmured greetings. He felt like a complete idiot. He was not some bumbling fool, but Black was directly behind him, breathing down his neck, the smell of tobacco leaves and bergamot suffocating and intoxicating all at once, and when the lift doors closed and more people pressed inside, James was shoved firmly against Black.

Heat pooled in his face as he stared at the back of a witch’s coarse, silvery head, pretending he did not notice or care that he could feel Black’s body flush with his. Around them, memos fluttered aloft, and people gazed dully at the lift doors, waiting for their turn to get out. Everything was so ordinary. This was simply another day at work. James pretended to feel the same even though Black’s heart was thudding against his spine.

It felt like provocation even though Black said nothing at all. Hatred and excitement were welling inside of James as he felt Black’s chest expand and release. Something about the soft, warm breath skimming the damp sweat above his collar made James tighten his fingers on the handle overhead. The body behind him was a comforting threat. It electrified him.

When at last the doors opened to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, James wriggled out between people, eager to leave the stifling lift behind. As he cleared the throng of people, he chanced a surreptitious glance at Black.

Black slid his gaze to him from beneath eyelids that seemed a heavy burden to raise as if looking upon James was an arduous chore. His clear, pale eyes swept over him with disinterest. Then the lift doors closed, and James hurried to find Moody and tell him the bad news, desperately trying to forget the brush of Black’s breath against his neck.

#sirius black #james potter #slytherin!sirius black #my fics #prongsfoot #bambibelle

59 notes · View notes

enviedear · 1 year

Text

telephone cord ⟶ sirius black

DESCRIPTION ⌙ sirius black is making his slow return back home to a girl, who, before his leaving, had no idea just how much she'd miss him. PAIRING ⌙ sirius x fem!reader WORD COUNT ⌙ 3.0k

❛ ֪ ׂ and she twirls that phone cord around her fingers as if it were all she possibly had of him ֪ ׂ ❜

— join my taglist | request | masterlist

you couldn't stop your deadpan glare directed at one jesting james potter. your friend seemed to enjoy the way you wrapped yourself up in your phone cord, laying like a schoolgirl, upside down on your couch. in complete truth, it was an absolutely horrendous display.

he made one, final, little teasing gesture before both mary and lily tackled him onto the armchair, soft silly little smiles on their faces. you focused back in on the beautifully coarse voice coming through the receiver.

"—this was only after i had walked an hour in the wrong direction. i swear if i don't learn a bit of korean soon i'm going to end up getting sacked." sirius drawls, unaware of the silent drama going on around you.

he was away— had been away for six months— for a touring gig with one of your shared favorite bands. they were outrageously popular now, followed around, as sirius told, "by a gaggle of obsessive people"

but you could tell he loved the job. for, in just the first month he had been promoted from, in his words, "average lights guy" to "the best backstage manager this century had ever seen".

you were beyond proud of him. your best friend getting to see the world with one of the best bands of the modern age.

how you missed him, though.

especially now. now, that you'd let it slip to all your mutual friends just how much you truly cared for him.

you feel your ears go hot at the memory. it was funny, really, how nice it felt to finally tell them— someone— of your universe-sized crush.

it did help that they all seemed to enjoy the information almost as much as you. giving you hugs and suggesting over and over just how much they had always known. you seriously doubted the later. yes they were all happily keen with their newfound knowledge, but none like james, who enjoyed the topic for the jokes it presented.

but even the lighthearted jokes didn't dim your joy. too much.

"despite how much i'd like you back here, start using those maps i sent you! now is not the time to swear off navigation." you smile.

sirius chuckles, "would you believe me if i said i was using it, just a little bit upside-down."

"merlin, you're pitiful pads. really— that's borderline worrying." you joke, closing your eyes. you try to imagine him in the streets of seoul with nothing but an upside-down map and a carton of cigarettes.

but then again, this is the same sirius orion that, until sixth year, couldn't for the life of him find a way around hogwarts without trailing behind james and remus.

"yeah, yeah poke fun all you want, love," he pauses, "speaking of stupid, how's james? he forgot to call me back tuesday and i'm starting to worry."

you spare a look at the newly twenty-two year old, his glasses sliding down his nose and face scrunched up in a faux kiss— somehow still worried about trying to tease you.

"he's gotten worse since you left. somehow. not even lily can quell him, it's disastrous really." you sigh, eyes devilish.

james perks up, "are you talking about little ol' me?"

"has he always been that loud?" sirius mutters and you laugh.

james is quick to crouch beside you, trying to speak into the phone, "sirius, my heart, we miss you! you missed my birthday, i'm starting to think i'll see twenty-three without you."

"just two more countries dear friend, until i'm back in your arms." sirius replies to him, somewhat earnestly, causing you to make a face of faux disgust.

james smiles and sticks his tongue out to you before whispering, "tough competition, miss heart eyes."

you almost hit him with the heavy handset, but settle for a stern middle finger instead, knowing that your phone call is nearing the end.

"where to after korea, pads?" you ask, already knowing the answer. you were acutely aware of just where and when he'd be— because, honestly, you could barely wait for his return home.

"japan! the sound guy told me they've got a great car scene, but really i'm only leaving my hotel room if someone's got a bike. you know how i am." sirius replies.

japan soundly lovely to you. sounds even more lovely if sirius is involved.

"lucky you. and here i am bored and stuck with prongs." you giggle, "and after japan?"

you knew this one too, because it was marked on every calendar in your home, since the minute he left. england. he'd finally be back home.

"oh come on, as if you're all not planning me a rager as we speak." he says, tone dripping with mirth.

there's a smirk on your lips, "you don't have enough friends for a rager."

he laughs lowly, "you're a vile little thing— i'm wounded." his tone is playfully sardonic, "also—"

you cut him short, "you need to go. sorry, i kept you so long, but, have a wonderful show! we all miss you like crazy!" your voice is cheery but the look on your face is dim.

you hate hanging up.

sirius hums, "i miss you too, love. i'll phone later tomorrow— keep prongs in line for me. i'll see you soon, i promise."

you nod, to yourself, before replying, "i'll take your word! see you soon, pads."

and with that, the line goes dead. you stay in place for a moment, the phone cord still somehow, impossibly, wrapped around you. your eyes are shut, but you can still make out the bright light coming from your open window. you sigh, loudly, and follow it up by sliding off of the couch and onto the floor.

"you have to tell him, ya' know." lily says pointedly, and you open your eyes to stare at her. she's smiling down softly at you so give her one in return.

"not over the phone." you reply, simply.

mary removes the throw pillow she'd been using as a sun shade from her face, "obviously, better yet, how doesn't he know it yet."

james sends her an uncharacteristic reprimanding look and then says, "forgive pads for not being able to see the way she flounders for him through the telephone."

you shriek, "i do not flounder!"

the three of them look at you before breaking out with vindictive smirks, "oh— you most definitely do."

˖ ࣪⭑ ꒱

days pass after your last phone call with sirius, with no fault to him. no, you had become wrapped up entirely with work. all you'd know for the past few days was countless due dates and passive, yet direct, requests for you to stay "just a bit later."

but finally, here you were, arms wrapped around your legs as you sat on your barstool staring expectantly at your phone.

it was late already, as you had, again, stayed over at work. it was already eleven when you got home, so despite your microwavable dinner and rushed shower, time only seemed to fly forward.

but sirius had said he'd call before leaving japan. he had sworn on the voicemail.

so here you sat, towel wrapped around your hair, eyes heavy, and desperate to hear his voice.

almost on cue, the phone rings— and you let four go by before answering, "hello?"

you could hear chatter and hurried steps in the background, "hi love, sorry it's late. show went late, but i'm waiting for my plane now."

"you're fine! tell me about toyko— any bikes?" you question, noticing how coarse his voice came out.

he chuckled, "absolute shit. i saw one, puny little thing though. jax," he stops to explain who exactly jax is, "he's a sound guy— he took me to a street race the next day, but it's hard to enjoy any of it over all the fumes."

"we can't win 'em all," you sigh, "if it makes you feel any better, i forgot to file three patient reports this week, and dr. saion is very focused on me not forgetting it."

you hear him mutter something under his breath before clearing his throat, "he's a grouch, love— however," there was a smile on his lips, and you were sure you didn't need to see him to know, "it does seem as though my impending return is getting you flustered. and although i'm flattered—"

you cut him off, "it has nothing to do with you!" you tone was a bit too serious, so you follow it up with, "not that i'm not beaming for you to get back. i think me more than anyone, obviously."

sirius hums, "obviously?"

you scrunch your face at the word. fuck— no, of course not at all obvious to him.

"i am your best friend, aren't i?" you tease, saving yourself.

he tsks, "it seems you are, little love. oh, and i miss you too. frightfully so, i'm afraid."

you glow at the remark, trying to stifle the feeling out of your voice, "what time are you getting in?"

"god, what time is it there?" he asks, muffled a bit, probably looking around for a clock.

"twenty past two." you sigh.

"love, go to bed! you've got work in the morning, don't you?" he presses.

"fine— after you tell me when you'll be here." you chide, soft smile on your lips.

"if all goes well, half past nine. i promised james i'd apparate straight from the airport and to his. now, can you please get some sleep? finish the week strong, hm?" his tone was caring, and you felt inclined to adhere to his wishes.

"yes, of course, pads. i'll see you tomorrow, please, be safe." your eyes are now drooping, heart determined to talk for as long as possible and head demanding immediate sleep.

"i'm always safe," he chuckles, "but i promise, and i'll see you tomorrow, love. goodbye and good night."

eyes fully shut now and arm barely keeping the phone up, you mumble, "goodnight, sirius. i love you."

your eyes open wide at the words, in pause momentarily. it wasn't what you said that really shocked you— it was the way you said it.

"i love you." as though those words were a rope, tieing you and all of your unsaid confessions together just to unravel itself for sirius.

you pull the handset from your face, listening to the questionary call of your name. you can't say anything, so you just listen. sure that he must know now.

how could he not know?

moments pass before he speaks again, a little quieter this time, "i think you've fallen asleep on me— i, uh, god how do i hang this thing up?"

seconds before his voice sounds again, most of it too quiet for you to hear, "—you when i get home."

then the lines goes dead, the sound blaring into your ears.

when you finally stand up, you feel your head rush. you stand, staring at your phone. there's a fleeting moment where you expect him to call back, and demand an answer to your vibrant display. but minutes pass by with no ring so you head to your bed, a wreck of anxiety.

the covers are pulled over your head, and you're almost suffocated by your own breaths.

you know for certain that hours go by before you're able to sleep.

˖ ࣪⭑ ꒱

waiting with serious worry, you call james' name once more, the sound reverberating in your ear. you had mere minutes before you needed to leave work, and you think now, that it may have been a tad foolish to call james about last night's event.

but it weighed heavy on you all day— so much so that you're sure you've barely said more than four words to your co-workers.

"sorry, i think i just had the best laugh of the year over that." he finally says, voice ridden with humor.

you groan, "what if he..." you trail off.

"you've told him you loved him before? am i wrong here?" he asks.

there's a sigh from you, "it's the way i said it, prongs. i sounded like i belonged in casablanca—"

james interrupts you with a horrible transatlantic accent, "we'll always have paris."

"james." you huff.

"what? it's an excellent muggle film!" he chuckles, "not to worry though, this is the same sirius black, who until very recently, thought that alice and frank were just roommates."

this causes you to smile, "i refuse to say you're right, but, there may be a small chance that you're not too far off."

"merlin, woman, please workshop your gratitude." he jokes.

soon the conversation turns less dire and more excited, the both of you checking all the fine details for sirius' welcome home party. the plan, simple, meet at james' and make sure everything was perfect.

by the time you clocked out, you actually felt better. you gave soft smiles to the other nurses before all of you apparated away.

when you arrive at the potter's front door, you let yourself in.

"hi honey!" lily grabs you for a hug, "how was work?"

you shrug, "long— especially today."

you see both james and remus behind her, bickering over a welcome home banner.

she grins, "i overheard your little confession, you know? james has trouble with private conversations, even more when they're over the phone."

you cringe, "i knew i should've called mary."

lily laughs, guiding both of you toward the kitchen, "he was right though, nothing to stress over."

you lean against the island, "i think i'm more so anticipating how strange it'll be to see him again, now that, well."

your point is mute, but she nods in understanding.

"it's still sirius." she adds, pulling veggie boards out of the fridge.

you grab a few cucumbers and roll your eyes, suddenly much more interested in the wide array of trays and platters of food, "how much do you think a handful of people can eat?"

she looks down at the nearly cluttered island, "james insisted muggles didn't feed people on planes."

you furrow your brows.

"i find it's best when i don't correct him." there's a smile on her lips at the words.

the two of you slip into a comfortable silence, prepping punch, icing a shabby little cake, and trying to find space for all of the different food trays.

the hours fly by. you enjoy the prep though. you've managed to stop at least two petty arguments— both involving the very headfast james. there's little else to occupy yourself with, so you absentmindedly pull out copious amounts of plastic dinnerware and cups.

upon falling short of finding the rest of said cups, you find yourself outside, searching through james' shed. first bought to house sirius' bike and now used as a catch-all.

just as you spot the cups, there's rustling behind you. you freeze and pray to every god that there are no rabid animals living in this shed.

you turn, slowly, and are greeted by messy black hair, a smug smirk, and his deep voice, "fancy seeing you here, little love."

you hastily attempt to exit the maze of the shed, rushing the tall man into a tight hug.

"you should be inside!" you say, large grin overtaking your features.

sirius pulls away from you, letting his arms rest around you, "and not say hello to you first? never, little love."

you can't hide the way your face softens at his words, "i've really missed you, you know?"

he brightens, "of course, everyone kept telling me."

your eyes widen, "what do you mean?"

"mary, remus, lily, dorcas, james, frank— the whole lot. all the every talked about was you. which, i'll add, did bruise my ego." he admits, light-hearted.

you groan, "i'll never tell them secrets again."

sirius looks confused, "we have a secret?"

his tone is full of faux shock and your shake your head, "no, sir, i have the secret."

he lowers his mouth to your ear, "pray tell, what is this secret i've missed?"

you can't help the roll of your eyes, "don't play dumb, pads."

you feel his smile against you. seconds pass without words.

"i brought you something." he speaks finally, backing away from you to dig into his jacket pocket.

the way he dropped the previous conversation stuns you, so you watch wordlessly as he hands you a small green box.

you furrow your brows and he continues, "i, uh, got it back when we were in sydney."

you smile and open the box.

above plush white stuffing, sits a gold charm bracelet. you lift it up, studying it. only one charm hangs from it— a little telephone with red gems for buttons.

you look back to sirius, a stupid grin on your face, "i love it. thank you, really, you didn't have to."

he takes the box from you, setting it on a lawnchair before helping you clasp the bracelet on, "believe me, love, i most assuredly had to."

you look up at him, head mere inches from his own.

"i meant, or i thought better, to tell you now rather than before i left." he whispers, suddenly so earnest.

"tell me what?" you ask, barely above a whisper. you're far too focused on the way his hand never left your wrist, grasped so gingerly.

he blinks slowly before leaning into you, "just how i love you." his words are said with a smile.

you attempt to say something, but he shakes his head softly, "and how i so desperately want you to say it back."

you waste little time, "i love you too, sirius." your voice is breathy, but by the look in his eyes, you can tell he heard you.

he says nothing else, no, he just pulls you into him. his lips find yours in a soft kiss. it feels endearing, enthralling, something so perfect.

his lips taste of vanilla and menthol— and you're sure those two things shouldn't taste as addicting as they do. but they do.

you attempt to kiss him back in the same enchanting way, but more so, you attempt to keep your knees from faltering beneath you.

when you pull away, breathing heavily, you scan his flushed face. chuckling you admit, "i guess you uncovered my secret."

sirius smirks, "actually, you kept it pretty well guarded," he pauses, "until you told prongs."

you open your mouth, "how long?"

"have i known?" he asks, and you nod, "since i landed in italy."

you groan, "that wasn't even a month after you left!

he laughs, "what can i say, love— james isn't fit with secrets." he pulls you close again, staring at you lovingly, "besides, it doesn't matter. i got my girl."

there's a bright smile on your lips and you close your eyes, leaning your head on his chest.

"though, we may have to switch you out to a landline. if i remember correctly, mary may have something about your multiple phone cord incidents." he teases.

far too focused on the warmth of his chest and the beating of his heart, you smile, "not multiple, possibly three handfuls of incidents."

he kisses the top of your head, "you sweet thing, i adore you."

taglist <3

@slytherinambitious @ughgclden @fictionalcomforts @katherinadeluca @silverose365 @thehalfbloodedwitch @scrletletter @sanaz1dlol @call-sign-hurricane

#sirius x reader #young sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius headcanon #sirius black headcanon #young sirius x reader #sirius x you #sirius black fluff #sirius black x reader fluff #sirius black x y/n #maurauders era #marauders fanfiction #james potter #lily evans #lily potter #remus lupin #mary mcdonald #sirius x reader fluff

299 notes · View notes

padfootdaredmetoo · 8 months

Note

I love your Harry Potter x Peaky Blinders crossover!! The idea of Harry growing up as Tommy's son is amazing!! And just imagining book one with Harry having the attitude/life experience of growing up around the Peaky Blinders is incredible! Also the mental image of little first year Harry Potter insisting on wearing a peaky cap like his family is adorable!!!!!! If you ever wrote more of that universe I'll be eternally grateful<3

Hey Anon,

Again I'm so so sorry this took forever. Thank you for writing in and I'm happy that you enjoyed the story! Hope this blurb makes you just as happy.

Warnings: Mentions of death, boys fighting

You were tucked in your closet clutching a sticky half-drunk bottle of sweet wine. Tears were stinging your eyes as you thought over just how difficult things were. Sirius was trying his best to adjust, but his hollow figure and quiet nature was heartbreaking. He did his best to listen when you would talk to him but you would see his mind wander regularly. He’d cry at night, about James, Lily, Regulus, Marlene, no different than you or Remus.

The dinner was a disaster and you were wondering how you would make these two very different lives mesh together. Looking up at the yellowing lightbulb hanging from the ceiling you said a silent prayer. Your eyes landed on a small pink floral picture box on the top shelf of the closet.

You got up craving the familiar sting of comfort mixed with pain. Opening the box you carefully sorted through what was left of your friends and family from that lifetime. Photos, letters, ribbons, tickets, and candy wrappers. The box was so colorful, filled with laughing smiling faces, and yet things felt so dark and cold.

You picked up a letter from Lily, in the brief time she had after school had finished. She was upset that her sister had sent her a mean letter. It didn't matter how many nasty things or how much time Petuna had been removed from her life, these things always cut Lily deeply. She complained about how her sister had bought the house near her childhood home, and how Lily wasn't invited to the wedding. You recalled the comforting letter that you had sent her. Reassuring her that she would be your maid of honor when the time came.

You started to wonder if Petuna still lived in that house. From what you knew of her, you strongly doubted she would move after living on the same street her whole life. If she was there, Harry was there too. While Dumbledore had said you had to leave him there, you pulled the thick purple envelope from the stack of worn papers. You technically had custody….

You could drive there tomorrow and visit, just to ensure the boy was alright. No harm would be done by checking up on him.

You dried your eyes, and the pain of the current stressors in your life shifted to the back of your mind as you embraced your new mission.

You told Tommy the plan lying next to him in the dark. He’d found you in the closet crying not too long after you had made your decision.

“I’ll go with you.” He said kissing the top of your head. You thought of all the meetings and things he had planned for tomorrow.

“You don't have to, I could see if the boys want to go.” You thought of how Sirus would react and realized that might not be the best idea.

“Let's scope the place out before we kidnap the boy eh?” He chuckled. “Figure out what we are getting ourselves into, then tell Sirus.”

Guilt swirled in the pit of your stomach. You hated keeping things from your friends, however, Sirius was temperamental these days. He was trying to figure out what life without James was like. Once he picked Harry up there was nothing that would stand between him and the boy. Dumbledore’s warnings rang through your mind.

“We will sort it, we always do,” Tommy murmured before falling asleep. You tried to follow him, but for once you were the one left awake with ghosts swimming in your eyes.

________________________________________

You wore a nice dress and were happy that Tommy, a muggle was accompanying you. Thomas was their kind of people and it should put them at ease. You had called ahead and after a rather rude discussion, they had agreed for you to come by.

You watched their eyes absorb the wealth that oozed off of you and Thomas. You certainly caught them off guard. Once you saw the little face poke out from behind a wall at the end of the hall something inside you shifted.

The big green eyes of your childhood best friend peered up at you hesitantly. Dark bags lay under his eyes, his skin too pale. He had a large red mark on his cheek and a cut above his eyebrow. Anger swelled inside you as the boy visibly shook.

“Harry, say hello.” Vernon barked. “He’s a slow talker. Been to lots of doctors” Vernon fumbled in his excuses clearly caught up in winning Tommy’s approval. You moved past Petuna’s skeletal frame and watched the boy take a step back from you. His clothes were too big making him look even skinnier if it was possible.

You opened your hands to him and he reluctantly toddled towards you. You pulled the boy up to your chest bringing those haunted green eyes eye level with your own.

“Hey, Harry.” The boy gave a little nod showing that he had heard you. “I’m a friend of your parents.” You said softly. The boy’s face perked up with interest as a small stuffed horse came into your line of vision. Thomas handed the small boy a white horse.

“Should name him Shadowfax” you mumbled more to yourself than anyone else. It was a stupid reference, you didn’t know why you said it. The memory of listening to Remus reading the Lord of the Rings to the group in the boy's dorm crushed you. Who read Harry's stories at night? Did they read to him at all?

A wave of hysteria washed over you. Thomas with his cold mask in place put his arm around you and started to lead you out of the cramped entry hallway and out into the front yard. He opened the car door for you and commanded you to get into the car.

There was a short and curt conversation by the door but you were too absorbed in looking down at the boy.

The three of you sat in silence the whole journey back to Arrow House. You had brought lots of water and treats along for the ride and Harry wasted no time eating them. His hands were sticky with jam and you tried to wipe it off with a handkerchief.

The car parked and the realization of what had happened hit you. People, Dumbledore, would surely be on his way. So many questions and conversations would have to be had.

Harry’s laugh brought your attention back to the cab of the car. Tommy had taken off his hat and placed it on Harry’s head. The hat had slipped forward causing the boy to laugh. The sound was enough to cure any sadness. You let out a laugh as he pushed it back up his face for the thing to fall forward immediately.

What ever happened you could sort it out.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Harry was an abnormally easy child as long as you were holding on to him. Esme had brought over some clothes for him, and some toys. Tommy had handled all the phone calls for you. Leaving you to get Harry washed and dressed. You wrapped him in a big linen blanket before settling on the couch in Tommy’s office. You started to read The Hobbit to him in a soft voice.

The boy had one arm around his horse and the other hand fisted in your blouse. You felt his body go limp as he drifted off to sleep. The door to the study opened and you jumped at the sound. Sirius rushed into the room with the fire that used to surround him. His eyes were bright and teary. He sat on the couch next to you before putting his arm around you. His face hidden in your neck.

A sob shook through him and you tried your best to comfort him. Remus slumped into the spot next to him looking worn and unprepared. After a long moment of silence, you continued to read aloud from the book. After a long while Sirius finally sat up. Harry let out a squawk and you watched how everyone came back to life around you. Sirius and Remus both fawned over the boy.

You handed the boy to Sirius and for a moment you wondered if he would ever put Harry down again.

“I suppose he will come home with me then?” Sirius said while bouncing Harry on his lap.

“Wh-” Before you could answer Thomas had stepped in.

“Figured it would be best to do this the traditional way. A village and whatnot. You can take the cottage at the end of the property or stay in the house.”

Your head spun to look at him then back to Sirus to see how he would respond. Sirius got up and extended a hand to Thomas. They shook hands, silently ending a feud that had been hanging over you since you got Sirius released.

“I’ve gone over the paperwork you have done, to my understanding you have custody regardless of what this Dumbledore has to say. Remus can you look over it to see if I’ve missed anything.”

Remus gave him and nod and the two of them started to discuss the paperwork and magical law over Tommy’s desk. Sirius leaned against the back of the couch as Harry drifted off again. The firelight shining against Sirius’s face was soft and warm enough to almost hide the damage he had suffered. For a moment he looked like the boy that you grew up with, back in the common room.

His eyes opened and flashed to you.

“Wot?” You said quietly.

“I didnt think he would let you keep him here.” Sirius whispered.

“Why?”

“Well, it's all fancy, maids and nonsense.” Sirius waved his hand. Suddenly his reluctance to your new life made more sense.

“Thomas knows what it’s like to be a kid like Harry. He wouldn’t let it happen to someone else if he could help it.” Anger was starting to swell in your chest.

Sirius thought about things for a moment.

“What do you mean?” He asked in an interested voice, free of the usual judgment reserved for Tommy.

“Sirius, Tommy built all of this” You waved your hand around. “This isn't family money or status. He made his way in life, you might not like how he got here, but he is fair.”

Sirius thought about your words staring back at the fire before a smile crept across his face.

“Might have misjudged him.” He said quietly suddenly looking at his fingernails. You punched his arm getting even more frustrated when he barked a laugh. “I guess this place just reminded me of my parents a little, he’ll never be good enough for you.” He paused for a long moment before sighing. “But I will say he’s trying to be and I respect that.”

You smile at him and finally felt that he was home from Askaban. It took some effort but soon everyone had settled into Arrow house.

Dumbledore came and helped with the protective enchantments. You and him struck up an agreement that so long as Voldemort was gone Harry could stay. However, once he started his comeback Harry would have to go back to the Dursleys. You shook on it, knowing full well that you would never let it happen.

_________________________________________________________________

Harry got put through another round of hugs as his large family stood on the platform. He was glad that his cousins and most of the family stayed home having said their goodbyes the night before.

Polly crushed him in her arms leaving a smudge of pink lipstick on his forehead. He watched as Sirus struggled to stay calm, Remus looked a mix of excitement and his usual sadness. Harry had been up most of the night with his Godfather listening to all sorts of stories about Hogwarts. Harry was excited to see everything for himself, but he would have to admit he didnt like the feeling of being away from his family. Saying goodbye to Sirus was hard, and Harry could feel the anxiety radiating off of him.

You hugged him next, you had the same sort of anxiety radiating off of you. Your arms made a painful lump form in his throat. You kissed the top of his head.

“See you at Christmas, love. Whatever Siruis told you to do.” You put both hands on his shoulders and looked down at him with a hard eye. “Don't.” You smiled and Tommy came and gave him a quick hug.

Tommy placed his cap on his head and Harry froze.

“For good luck. Stay out of trouble alright.” He said it in a firm voice but winked at Harry.

He got on the train and felt a strange sense of panic wash over him. He was excited, his parents sat on this train just like he did. But as far back as Harry could think he had never been on his own before. There were always people at Arrow House, just outside his bedroom. Always games to be played with his cousins, always someone telling stories.

He was on his own.

He pulled open the glass door of a compartment. He tossed his heavy trunk up into the shelf above the seats. He pressed his face up against the glass and waved at his family before they faded out of view.

Someone knocked on the glass and he saw a redheaded boy, with worn clothes.

“Can I sit here?”

“Yeah, sure.” Harry was slightly hesitant. He was always hypervigilant of strangers, he knew what could happen and go wrong with outsiders. The heavy cap on his head gave him an added sense of security. His fingers came up and ran gently along the rim of the hat. No blades. But that could be easily fixed if Harry felt he needed some.

“Woah, you're Harry Potter.” He scrunched up his nose for a moment, before nodding. Sirius said it would happen. He thought the name sounded funny after being referred to as a Shelby all the time.

“That’s me,” Harry said wondering how the boy would react to him.

“Ron Weasley.” The boy stuck out his hand and Harry shook it. He thought of how Sirius had met James on the train and smiled brightly hoping that maybe Ron would also become a lifelong friend.

_________________________________________________________

Everyone was stuffed into the hallway, some kids looking nervous, others looking excited. When Harry saw a particular blonde-haired boy he knew right away they wouldn't get along. The boy had a mean sneer on his face as his eyes locked onto Ron. Harry was ready, his fists balled properly. He knew that he would have to assert himself quickly, it’s what Tommy would do if he was here.

The blonde boy moved towards them with a strut in his walk.

“Weasly. Surprised they another one of your lot in here.” Harry noted the posh accent and it made his blood boil even more. He hated people like this, whether that came from Sirius or Tommy, he wasn't sure. Harry made a quick assessment of the two larger boys that hung off of the small boy's shoulders.

If he was going to hit him he would probably take a beating, but that shows bravery, right? Harry listened as the boy started to list off, rather loudly about how poor Ron’s family was. He looked as Ron’s face got redder and redder, his own hands balled into fists. Harry figured he would know what to do then.

The boy took a sharp step towards Ron and by instinct, Harry took his hat in hand and started to beat on the blonde-haired boy. There was a satisfying crunch of his nose and Harry figured that a crooked nose would teach him not to be rude.

The other two boys started to lay down upon him, his ribs burned and he took it without crying or fussing.

He pushed himself up off of the floor and started to round on one of the boys. He doubled over when Harry hit him hard in the stomach.

“Boys! BOYS!” A stern Scottish voice called out. Harry took a step back and looked up at the woman, who surprisingly looked exactly as Sirius had described her. Minnie.

She grabbed his shoulder tightly, stepping in between the boys.

“You will behave for this ceremony, or you will be sent home.” She paused for a moment to let her words sink in. “Now we will talk about punishments after.”

She glared down at them over the top edge of her glasses before ushering them into the great hall.

Anxiety gripped him tightly until the hat shouted he would be in Gryffindor. Just like his parents, he took a breath and settled into the castle.

__________________

You were tired and missing Harry. Tommy was feeling the same way as he poured over his paperwork. You sat on the couch next to Polly as she tried to teach you how to crochet. You knew she was trying to give you a project to save you from empty nest syndrome. She understood why Harry had to go but she wasn't pleased about it in the slightest.

Your fingers kept getting tangled in the yarn and you wondered when her patience would wear thin enough that she would let you give up. The door swung open and all three of you jumped.

“He’s already in trouble,” Remus said as Sirius handed you a letter. Your eyes ran over the paper. A fight with another first-year?

“A fight with another boy?” You murmured.

“Malfoy” Sirius added in a dark tone.

“Oh,” You weren't sure how you felt but were relieved to know that you and Sirus had been summoned.

“Aren't they death munchers or whatever” Arthur had also entered the room and you were surprised he remembered that. Sirius snorted at the mistake.

“Good on him. He’s got to assert himself right away with that crowd.” Polly said with urgency.

“Exactly,” Thomas said with a nod. “He needs to show he’s not soft in case Voldy-whatever comes back.”

Esme and John came in and also started to make their arguments for not being soft in a school that size. What they should do to the Malfoy family in retaliation to show that his family would back Harry magic or not.

“Let’s go and see what’s this about before we start threatening people,” You said trying to get the yarn untangled from your hands.

You could tell that Tommy wanted to go, he was a father figure to Harry. You asked Sirus quietly as you walked towards the front door. He gave a nod and you called out for Tommy.

The three of you walked through the night to the cottage, as it had the only fireplace connected to the flu network.

___________________________

He got in a good deal of trouble for starting the fight. The boy’s father came through the giant green flames in the fireplace. Harry took a breath about to claim that his parents should also be summoned but seeing your face emerge from the flames he thought perhaps it was better that you weren't involved.

Sirius also followed through the fireplace. Harry could tell that he was not pleased. Then to his surprise, Tommt came through. He could tell that the Malfoys were already making judgments.

“Now-” Dumbledore started then Draco quickly interrupted.

“He started it! I was walking up just like everyone else and he attacked me!” His voice was whiney and Harry felt that the boy's behavior had already gotten him out of trouble with his family.

Harry took a breath and let his face fall like Tommy’s was.

“Look, I don’t know what your problem with Ron is, but I won’t sit around and watch people throw slurs.” He shifted his gaze from Malfoy to the fire. “Plus, three-on-one is a coward's move.” He smiled smugly as both the boy and his father got angry.

“My son was assaulted.” The man shouted viciously. Harry felt triumphant, he was calm and cool and they looked positively deranged.

“Your son deserves-” Harry started but Sirius clamped his hand down on Harry’s shoulder. Harry was conflicted on one hand he thought Sirius would be happy he was like his father, but instead he got the feeling all of you would be giving him a long lecture.

“Now, I want this boy expelled or I’ll be forced to go the ministry. He’s dangerous.” Malfoy spat at Dumbledore.

“I hardly think a conflict between 11-year-old boys needs ministry intervention.” To Harry’s surprise, it was Tommy who spoke. “Harry will apologize, and I assume that someone at the school possesses the magical ability to correct the boy’s nose?”

There was silence in the room. When no one else said anything he continued. “My son won’t tolerate whatever agenda that boy is pushing, so for everyone’s safety I would recommend he keeps his thoughts to himself before things like this escalate past broken noses.”

His eyes locked with Malfoy's father’s. Harry could feel the power radiating off of Tommy’s glare, he could tell that the other man would back down.

“Harry apologize.” You spoke clearly.

“I’m sorry I broke your nose,” Harry said in a flat tone trying to sound like Tommy. The two men were still glaring at each other when eventually the man gripped the boy's shoulder in a way that almost made Harry flinch.

“I’m sorry I spoke about your friend that way.” Draco looked scared and Harry felt sorry for the boy.

“Well, all that’s left is punishment,” Dumbledore spoke softly. “This will be determined by your head of house, and approved by me.” The man looked slightly amused and Harry wanted to know why.

“I would like to speak with Harry before we leave.” You stated and Dumbledore nodded. Sirius guided Harry into the hallway, where you and Tommy followed.

“Punishments here are no joke, so I would get that temper under control before your quidditch years,” Sirus said sternly. Harry gave him a nod.

“No more hitting. Older students-”

“Don’t tolerate whatever shit that boy was pushing. Not ever, not for a moment.” Tommy interrupted you. “That nonsense has hurt this family enough.”

Tommy bent down to look at Harry. “You need to be smart about how you navigate this, you're not like everyone else. The reputation you need to build here can’t be won with violence. A time is going to come when you will get a chance to fight. But this is the time to make friends, find out who you can trust. And learn everything you can about people like them.” His voice was low and dark. Harry didnt know what exactly he was referring to, but he believed him. He would be more careful.

Tommy gave him a hug and then he listened to you and Sirius before getting more hugs. He felt sad as his family departed into the fireplace.

________________

Harry got settled into his bed after talking with Ron. He could see the bruise forming where Ron had been hit, and he was glad that Ron’s family hadn’t been called.

He missed his bed. He missed how you would still come and read to him before bed. Looking up at the beams supporting the curtains he could see a little set of antlers carved into the wood. His heart lept at the thought that perhaps this could have been his father’s bed. With his thoughts wandering he realized that Tommy had referred to him as his son in the meeting. He felt conflicted about how much that meant to him. Sirius never crossed those boundaries, out of respect for him or his father he wasn’t sure. He was a Godson. You always said all the things a mother would say but still never assumed the title of his mother.

Tommy had said, son.

Perhaps that would make his parents happy. Maybe they could see how many people loved him. He hoped they knew.

#peaky blinders #tommy shelby #peaky blinders imagine #harry potter #harry potter crossover #harry potter Peaky blinders crossover #harry potter x peaky blinders

117 notes · View notes