#imagine if the wizarding world had nintendo

[nitw]

hey uh i think everyone should check out the sigmund corp franchise please this fandom consists of like 3 people

when i say “sigmund corp”, i’m referring to an ongoing series of HEAVILY UNDERRATED interactive-story rpg maker games by the canadian indie company; freebird games! the 2 main games currently out are “to the moon” and “finding paradise”, and a third installment titled “imposter factory” is scheduled to come out this year. you may have at least heard of the first game, but even if you haven’t, YOU SHOULD PLAY THEM ALL AND I’M GONNA EXPLAIN WHY (without spoilers of course)

setting:

the games take place in the modern world as we know it (but implied to be a bit further into the future), and each game chronologically expands on the story. there are 2 main characters who you control and follow throughout all the games; eva rosalene and neil watts, a pair of scientists from a company known as the sigmund corporation.

their job is to visit people on their deathbeds- specifically old people who were unhappy with their lives/regret that they never accomplished their goals- and use technology to travel through their patients’ memories. by going backwards from their latest to earliest known memories, they can channel their current wish/desire as far back as possible, to try and motivate them to reach their goal in the future. but ONLY in their heads. this allows the patient to die satisfied and happy, belivieving they’ve lived the best life they could imagine!

chapter 1 - to the moon:

eva and neil’s patient this time is an introverted man named johnny, living only with his caretaker and her kids out in a secluded forest, after his wife; river, passed away. his dying wish is to become an astronaut and go to the moon, only problem is that he could never explain why. as the scientists go through his mind and watch his life in reverse, they learn more about his tragic past, and even uncover his most repressed memories, while trying to piece everything together and figure out how to fulfill his dream.

this is the first game in the series, and it NAILS everything it wants to accomplish! the story is gorgeous, sad and amazingly executed, and every character just grows on you.

ya like autism representation?? this game has not one but TWO major characters who are on the autism spectrum, in their very own ways, and it’s MUCH more than just a small detail. it’s an essential part of their roles in the story and it’s PERFECT.

there’s a platypus! and rabbits! LOTS AND LOTS OF RABBITS. trust me all of this is totally plot-relevant.

you can play whack-a-mole!

you can fight a squirrel in classic jrpg style! (KINDA)

you can play plants vs zombies! (LITERALLY)

you can ride a horse!

you can do a sick hadouken! (KINDA)

you will cry.

chapter 2: finding paradise

some time after the first game, eva and neil now have to deal with colin, whose request is even more complicated than johnny’s: all he wants is a happier and more fulfilling life, but with as little change as possible, especially when it comes to his family. colin seems to have had a great relationship with his wife and son, so when a mysterious childhood friend name faye comes into the picture, everything gets more and more confusing. and it doesn’t help that the scientists’ machine keeps jumping back and forth between his childhood and later years.

this game is a follow-up to a smaller, much shorter prequel game by freebird games; “a bird story”, that serves as an introduction to colin when he was a kid. the prequel is NOT required to understand this game, but it’s worth checking out too!!

“finding paradise” uses everything the first game established, and either takes it even further, or twists it around completely. it’s sure to defy your expectations.

there’s BRAND NEW CHARACTER CUSTOMIZATION! (NOT EXACTLY)

there’s birds!!!!!!!!

you can become a wizard and levitate a table!

you can fly a plane!

you can turn off gravity!

you can pull the entire solar system towards you with a hookshot!

you can play a jrpg (again), a shoot-em-up, AND a fighting game!

you will cry.

more reasons to play these games, in general:

eva and neil are both very lovable, and their dynamic is the best thing ever. i ADORE their constant friendly jabs at each other. eva pretends to be super professional, but she’s really a massive dork with a massive heart. neil is pretty much the personification of the word “goofy”, but he’s a lot smarter than he appears to be, and secretly has a lot of issues of his own bottled up.

THE GRAPHICS? THE MUSIC? *CHEF’S KISS* GORGEOUS

the stories tend to throw A LOT of questions at you from the get-go, but trust me; everything will make sense eventually, and in that moment you’ll feel SOOOOOOO MINDBLOWN IN THE BEST SATISFYING WAY.

outside of cutscenes, you spend most of the game walking around and interacting with the environment freely. while there ARE some hidden easter eggs, the game always makes sure you know where to go, with a pretty linear layout and helpful notes in the menu. you most likely won’t feel lost or stuck at any point.

these games excel at having just the right balance between intense moments, sad moments, and goddamn hilarious moments! the writing is so good.

they’re pretty cheap indie games!

you will cry.

steam links:

TO THE MOON | FINDING PARADISE | A BIRD STORY

the first game is also available on nintendo switch, and the second one has been announced for it too!

thanks for reading, have fun!!!

#leo.txt #sigcorp #to the moon #finding paradise #imposter factory

[shellofaretard]

Incel Manifesto

I am the BIG INCEL. The perennial incel. I was a virgin before you were born. I was a virgin when the universe was formed. When i close my eyes the world dies with me its hymen still intact. 

Incel has always been the default of western civilization. We are the inheritors of this w/o any disparity to what came before. Metaphor about ancient statues and their lil shrimp dicks.

Sir Isaac Newton was an incel. Nikola Tesla was an incel. Jesus Christ was an incel. Has anyone who’s NOT an incel ever created anything worthwhile??

soul

Ripped apart by natural selections icy north winds. Tossed around by autism chromosome waves. Mogged by 4/10 clouds. Masticated by roastie whirlpool.

The Incel project is an indictment of Creation that is, at the same time, rooted in an observant piousness towards its laws and the impossibility of moving outside its boundaries. The duty of Man to accept and affirm the inherent cruelty of the cosmos, and ponder his destiny within it.

For the <0.5/10 genetic sewage, to expose oneself to the flesh-burning mog radiations of the outside world is comparable to Julius Evola walking around the city during bombing raids.

body

Really hope incels start walking the walk and actually go ahead with those elaborate plastic surgery plans they love to talk about soon.  In post-modern body modification culture, surgically administered transformations are seen as an ascent towards the narcissistic illusion of a more “authentic” self. We have understood that the vanilla modernist paradigm in which Man is assigned one body, whose form, “health” and integrity it is his duty to preserve unto death, was never going to work.

Until very recently, it was normal for bodies to undergo unwanted dis- and transfigurations due to war and disease, their personal notions of bodily integrity routinely subdued to the amoral whims of the medieval War God. It is this view of the world that the incels, these ferocious dreamers of Galilean proportions, these weavers of cruel, delectable phantasms after my own heart, are returning to, finding themselves thrust into a hostile universe whose rigid biological laws are stacked against them with no humanist justification of “fairness”.

Incel chin osteotomy is then a religious act completely removed from narcissism. It is done out of reverence for a cosmic order radically irrespective of the incel’s interests and feelings. The ontological conduit between God and man takes the form of a leash, one by which Man is dragged to the plastic surgery clinic precisely in order to serve God better. I would like to argue that Incel is the most legitimately religious (anti-humanist) movement of our time in that it is based on an acceptance of human insignificance in the face of the cosmic order.

will

Much has been said about the supposed ‘entitlement’ of incels, but this can easily be reframed in a different context. Incel is, at its heart, a radical human agency denialist movement, seeking to redefine the role of Man in the universe by finding spirituality and reverence in the acceptance of total biological determinism, and beauty in the order of chin curvatures, neural pathways and DNA spirals of differing quality. The total absence of free will means everyone is always already entitled to exactly what they get. Genuine incel is less about demanding more than what is deserved than a retreat into a meditative position, neutral like nature itself.

If you’re willing to sell your purity for some used up 3.5/10 roastbeef: fuck off. This is supposed to be a modern monastic movement, where disciples eventually achieve true serenity and a connection with supernatural powers (wizard) in studying the patterns of the cosmos, of God’s plan; taking in the thorny architectures of inherent hierarchy without ego. It is about seeing the face of God in the cute waterpolo boy who nearly bullied you to suicide in 4th grade.

If you believe such a thing as ‘volcel’ exists in this world utterly bereft of all and any free will, you have reasoning skills akin to a donkey, I’m afraid.

time

Incels see time as a byproduct of the sad compulsion of humanist perception to form linear narratives of ‘progress’ and change. Such narratives are to be deemed illusory and rejected to the best of our abilities. In the Incel conception of time, everything is always already happening at the exact same time, meticulously arranged into a rigid, immutable hierarchy by the will of God himself alone.

This also means that it is pedantic and somewhat shallow to necessarily equate Incel with total sexlessness. Since no narratives ‘connecting’ one moment with the next are real, technically, every man not currently experiencing (undergoing?) direct roastie friction in this very moment is an incel, with whatever horrible baggage that entails.

virginity

I’m a virgin myself but my impression is that sex probably isn’t as big a deal as elliot rodger thought it would be. I look at sex havers and don’t think they are truly happier than i am (I’m a pretty happy retard). They were just born with higher quality DNA but i’m not sure if that is correlated with happiness whatsoever. I hate and envy them because I must but there is no objective ‘truth’ behind my ostensible assumption of their having it better.

All partaking in an act does is destroy the soul and dream of that thing. Only virgins understand the metaphysics of sex, only incels are capable of having a soul. This is why elliot rodger was so dangerous to the system. He had dreams that were unquantifiable and untransferrable, and the system thrives solely on the quantifiable and transferrable. I know y’all want to fuck Elliot now but thats like wishing jesus had the chance to get into nintendo wii instead.

If elliot rodger’s ideas of what sex (and ‘love’) would have been like could somehow be quantified, externalized and turned into a reality for all to simultaneously experience, the entire world would collapse, submerged in the brutal, monolithic singularity of joy.

religion

There is a reason religious, celestial imagination is all over incel culture. Think of st. blackops2cel and compare it to the brash, earthy vulgarity of YASSSS KWEEN or something. It is st. blackops2cel whose hand i am taking. It is through him that i discover weightlessness and liberation from the ballasts of the body. It is with him that i dash through the firmament and enter the pearly gates. Perhaps in the near future, the only two ways to die will be euthanized by the state following a lengthy bureaucratic procedure (hell) or shot by a cute incel at school (heaven).

-------

Now awaiting my gentle ascent into wizardry. Male pattern balding. Hormonal makeup changing. Still worship sathanas and aktion t4 and cut myself under the full moon. Still loathe god for giving me the tard genes and curse the faggot christ for normalizing the enabling of retards. But also know this is definitely all there is for me to which there is a certain closure. Know this basement is, at the end of the day, safe. Know theres not that much left at least.

How does the eventual ascension into the more serene state of wizardry feel for you. My angry incels. My romantic incels. My aching incels. My defeated incels. My broken incels. My incels who just want to see the world burn.

#incel #incel theory #old

[starwarshyperdrive]

The Rise of Skywalker - adding my very important opinion to the internet.

Opinions are like **holes, everyone has one. Just that this isn’t true. People rarely substitute theirs with someoelse’s **hole. 

Looking back at some of my predictions I was wrong about some major plot points. I always said that the Bendemption and Reylo would make me walk out of the cinema. I thought it would be the two things that would ruin Star Wars for me and quite arrogantly assumed it’s ‘too stupid for Star Wars’. 

Now.. I stand corrected. To be honest, after the premiere I didn’t know what to think. Like everyone else I had this idea what the movie should be in my head. All the puzzle pieces I put together to a picture I liked. All the clues that lead my to my own personal conclusion. And like everyone else I saw the movie through this filter. 

I have to divert a bit to explain what I mean.

A Zen master was asked about Zen by a critical guest. Instead of answering he filled the guest’s teacup but did not stop pouring when the cup was full and the tea spilled out and ran over the table. 

"Stop! The cup is full!" said the guest.

"Exactly," said the Zen Master. "You are like this cup; you are full of ideas. You come and ask for teaching, but your cup is full; I can't put anything in. Before I can teach you, you'll have to empty your cup."

Letting go of our expectations is hard. Very hard. There is comfort in the familiar. There is stubbornness in wanting to be right. The unknown is scary and we want to be in control of our own narrative. So I watched the movie again and saw it for what it is. I’m gonna be honest. I am a ‘true believer’ and apologist. I will find goodness in every bit. If you want to find mistakes you will find them. Psychologically we mostly make up our minds whether or not we’ll like the movie before we see it subconsciously. Then we just look for proof we’re right. I didn’t really want to see Joker. I expected it to be a pretentious attempt to make a Scorsese 70ies movie while lacking substance. And that’s exactly what I’ve got. Knowing what to expect in the 2nd viewing I was able to appreciate it more. There is so much depth and love for Star Wars in it that’s not apparent if you walk out of the 1st screening snubbed about what you don’t understand. I sound like a broken record when I say Star Wars is not a Comic Book movie, not everything has to be explained or tie into everything perfectly. Just look at the Original Trilogy. Nothing is 100% clear. Obi Wan is twisting the truth and nothing aligns perfectly. Star Wars is like a Greek myth. WHY did Thetis dip Achilles in the river Styx? What was her motivation? How could she forget to dip his heel? That’s stupid. That’s RUINING Greek mythology.   

I liked the movie, very much. I’m not even sure if it might not be my favorite sequel. Before I go into my thoughts here is what I didn’t like.

I liked it, yes, but that doesn’t keep me from agreeing that it seemed like a mash-up of fan-service. And with fan service I mean the kind of parents who have no idea would give their kids. ‘You like your Nintendos, right? The man at the shop said this is as good.’ It somehow felt like a panicked corporate decision to undo the backlash after The Last Jedi (a movie I have seen 13 times in the cinema and now consider to be the weakest installment since Attack of the Clones), so they mistook the loudest voices on the internet to be the most representative for all fans. So they had to include Bendemption and Reylo because ..fanfiction.. ?! And people have long asked for ‘bring back Legends’ so throw in a bit of that. And then we need Han Solo and the Emperor to save this trilogy after we made the mistake of not overseeing what these film makers actually do and have an overall idea for the trilogy and Rian Johnson wrote the story into a corner. The Last Jedi felt more like the 3rd movie of a trilogy, so what are we gonna do? Rey has to be SOMEONE, right? How about the emperor is suddenly interested in his bloodline for some reason despite the Sith never having cared about that (what is her midi-chlorian count?). 

But I can live with all of that and I have my explanations for everything. Palpatines son who must’ve been born after his face got all f**ked up. So was he a clone? Some sort of attempt to create life like Anakin? An artificially created baby like the Nazis did to get a super soldier, just to be able to possess his body and when he ran off and fled he was more interested in his ‘granddaughter’ because her body was even younger? Did the force skip a generation like some diseases.  Not everything has to be answered, but it’s fun to think about these things. I find this to be more Star Wars than the thought he had a wife all the time, which is absolutely not in character. 

The one thing I didn’t like was the super cringy, cheap jump-scare with monster teeth during the Dark Rey scene. We have seen this too often. It’s not ‘worthy of Star Wars’. It didn’t even look good in IT or any other movie. 

And the kiss? Would I have cut it out if I’d have something to say. YES DEFINITELY. Do I think it’s romantic and actually hints to romantic feelings? HELL NO! In my opinion their bond is different. Calling it romantic undermines their connection and ridicules something that could be very deep. Kylo/Ben even says it, they are a Dyad. Whatever that means, it surely doesn’t mean something straight-out of Twilight. I see the kiss as relief, burst of emotion. Not unlike a kiss a mother would give a child that has been missing or rescued from peril. Affection yes, romance no (aka ‘no tongue’). The beauty of it is that it’s ambiguous. If you want them to be in love, then you can think that for yourself, probably wondering why she is not really grieving.

I said I’d hate Bendemption and many people have stated that Ben should’ve survived. No offense but this is completely missing the point. The way his redemption is portrayed is absolutely beautiful. The shame and regret in Ben that leads him to the realization what he needs to do is what makes his who he is. He says it himself. He can’t go back to his mother. She sacrificed herself for him. He killed his father. Everything is lost for him. He made so many mistakes. But he can do the right thing for once by saving Rey. And this is why he disappears. This is why he became one with the force. If it he’d have survived there wouldn’t have been a redemption. Ben Solo was ‘weak and foolish’ which led him to the dark side. Ben Solo is flawed, the good in him understood that to kill the looming darkness he has to sacrifice himself. Like the Terminator at the end of Judgement day. This is what made the scene so powerful and mirrored Vader. Ironically you could say he finally became like Vader in the last moments of his life.

As for the emperor being alive. Why not. If you’re that sort of badass and considering that Maul and Vader both survived major injuries with the aid of the dark side of the force it’s not that unlikely. And here is something some people seem to miss. He is desperately looking for a new vessel to transfer his spirit into because he is a corpse. He is a corpse on life support. As hinted at in the movie and as explained in the visual dictionary he is being kept ‘alive’ by a mixture of medical aids and Sith alchemy. One might argue that ‘we never heard about Sith cultists and all that’ but that’s not entirely true. Even outside of the books, comics and what not there are things you can easily retcon to fit the narrative. Just look at the emperors advisors in Return of the Jedi. At the time of The Force Awakens there have been theories that Snoke is nothing but a puppet. I have used the Wizard of Oz comparison before. When we got to see him ‘in the flesh’ in The Last Jedi we were nothing the wiser. So that somehow adds up.

Chewie got a medal now? Well that just serves to show what I always say: no one in the cinematic universe cares a great deal about books and comics. A lot of fans are always so eager to see stuff from canon in the movies and get upset when there are contradictions (also see S-foil from Lukes X-wing being used as door) but I think it’s best to consider whatever is not in the movies as ‘soft canon’ and take it with a grain of salt. This might change in the future now that Star Wars is free of the shackles of the Skywalker saga and it;’s very likely they learned from the lack of consistency, but it also opens it up to mediocracy and weird stuff like the world between worlds and space whales.

If you only watched the movie once there are many things that might have slipped by you. Which is a shame. I think some f the outspoken critics will change their minds about the movie over time. A lot of the emotional backbone of the movie was in these tiny moments, such as the scene in which Rey feels that she won’t see Leia again and has to say good bye. It is in the open whether or not Leia feels it too and just taunts her by saying ‘tell me when you're back’.

Let me just say that Rose is absolutely cool in this. I always maintained the position that the backlash against her character was mostly based on the weak costume design that made her more like like a cosplayer. Now that she looked the part she was fantastic. It’s not about quantity. Her screen time was impactful. The argument that JJ cut her screen time in favor of his buddies is ridiculous and uninformed. Everyone had their specific parts to serve the story. According to the visual dictionary Dominic Monaghans character was a former teacher and served as the ‘Sith’ expert to explain why the Resistance wasn’t collectively going ‘umm wut?’ when they heard about Palpatine being back and all that. Greg Grunberg was the link to the fleet and Rose was at the heart of operations. I can't understand how this isn’t obvious. 

And in conclusion let’s talk about the impossible task to end a 9 part saga, with the additional challenge of having lost Carrie Fisher. Can you even imagine being in that predicament? How did JJ Abrams say yes to this? Well knowing that he’d get shit from all sides. RESPECT! It is a miracle the movie turned out the way it did. I liked it and if we look at the numbers of things I didn’t like in the other movies despite liking them it might become my favorite or close 2nd of the sequel trilogy over time. Only this blade tells.

#the rise of skywalker #star wars the rise of skywalker #jj abrams #star wars #star wars episode IX #the last jedi #return of the jedi #attack of the clones #the phantom menace #Revenge of the Sith #joker #A New Hope #star wars a new hope #The Empire Strikes Back #The Force Awakens #Star Wars The Force Awakens #rian johnson #chris terrio #carrie fisher #leia organa #kelly marie tran #bendemption #reylo #star wars legends #star wars fan #star wars leaks #star wars theories #star wars review

[nintendowife]

Another year gone by and it’s time to pick my personal Game of the Year 2019 titles. Finished a record amount of games this year (44!) and there were so many great games it was hard to pick the best of the best. See the end of the post for a full list of nominees.

1st place: HITMAN 2 (PS4, also available on PC and Xbox One)

Agent 47 is back, balder and better than ever - 8 sandbox locations and 3 sniper levels filled with lethal opportunities and clever humor. This is a game for individuals of culture. I'll leave you to prepare.

+ Creative assassination gameplay at its finest + Great level design + Lively, vibrant and detailed environments full of fun dialogue, juicy opportunities and room for improvisation + Silly challenges that never cease to make me smile + Includes HITMAN (2016) levels for free if you own the earlier game - Some levels were a bit confusing to navigate for me

See my posts about Hitman 2

2nd place: Baba Is You (Switch & PC)

I'm not much of a fan of puzzle games but Baba Is You blew my mind. I like the game so much that after torturing myself solving puzzles for 56 hours on Nintendo Switch I bought the game for PC too. Now I've played it for 34 hours on PC. The feeling of finally solving a level that you were stuck in for an hour and thought was impossible is immensely satisfying.

+ Wonderfully fun and unique gameplay idea + Great level design that forces you to do abstract logical thinking outside the box + BABA IS CUTE (adorable visuals that just work) + MUSIC IS LOVE + Sometimes too difficult and makes you feel like a genius - Sometimes too difficult and makes you feel dumb

See my posts about Baba Is You

3rd place: Ruiner (PC, also available on PS4 and Xbox One)

Atmospheric cyberpunk shooter with fast-paced gameplay and nice world-building. The moment I stepped to the streets of Rengkok I fell in love with the game. This game felt special and I kept thinking about the game after I stopped playing. The cyberpunk feel was tangible. Gameplay is fast-paced and fun with a variety of weapons, both melee and ranged. The few glitches I encountered can be overlooked thanks to the impressive marriage of visuals, lighting, audio and atmosphere. I've now finished the game 4 times on two different platforms. I rarely replay games.

+ Fun, challenging gameplay + Incredible cyberpunk atmosphere + Cool visual style and gorgeous lighting + Fitting soundtrack (bought it together with the game) + Skill point distribution is very free + Short and satisfying game experience - Heavy use of quite disturbing strobing lights - A couple of small glitches

Honorable mention: Etrian Odyssey V: Beyond the Myth (3DS)

Challenging dungeon crawling RPG with plenty of options for strategic team builds to conquer the Yggdrasil labyrinth. Etrian Odyssey V is one of the rare RPGs where I can't plow through boss fights and actually need to carefully consider how to stay alive - I managed to beat the main game last boss on my third try after adjusting my strategy.

+ Fun and challenging boss battles + Light on story, focus is on great and rewarding gameplay + Generous freedom for building your characters + Beautiful art style + Mapping can be set to auto to reduce manual work or you can draw your maps completely by hand - Some skill descriptions were inadequate to illustrate skill's true function - I was left wanting to see my characters' models appear on the screen in combat (à la Persona Q)

See my posts about Etrian Odyssey V

Honorable mention: West of Loathing (PC, also available on Switch)

Absurdly funny RPG enhanced by its black & white stick figure visuals and hilarious animations.

+ Various classes and character builds + Funny writing and characters + Unique visuals + Learning goblin language - Some obscure and tricky puzzles (guide probably needed)

See my posts about West of Loathing

Honorable mention: Wonderful 101 (Wii U)

One of the coolest action games I've had the pleasure to play. The high-octane gameplay fluidly swaps genres from beat 'em up to first person boxing and even shmup.

+ Unique concept and imaginative action gameplay + Great art direction and character designs + Plenty of humor + Catchy music - Unreliable touch controls in Unite Morphs - Very high difficulty

Nominees for my personal Game of the Year 2019

Only games I have finished in 2019 have been included.

Baba Is You (PC) Baba Is You (Switch) Cadence of Hyrule ~ Crypt of the NecroDancer Featuring The Legend of Zelda ~ (Switch) Control (PC) Creature in the Well (PC) Dead or Alive 6 (PS4) Demon's Tilt (PC) Dishonored 2 (PC) Etrian Odyssey V: Beyond the Myth (3DS) Everybody's Golf (PS4) Everybody's Tennis (PS4, PS2 Classics) Fire Emblem: Three Houses (Switch) Frog Detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard (PC) Gears of War: Ultimate Edition (PC) Gears of War 4 (PC) HITMAN 2 (PS4) Hyrule Warriors (Wii U) Katamari Damacy REROLL (PC) Mario Kart 7 (3DS) Minit (PS4) Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight (PC) My Friend Pedro (PC) New Style Boutique 3: Styling Star (3DS) Paper Mario: Color Splash (Wii U) Persona 5: Dancing in Starlight (PS4) Persona Q2: New Cinema Labyrinth (3DS) Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Spirit of Justice (3DS) Pokémon Link: Battle! (3DS) Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon (3DS) Pony Island (PC) Project Zero: Maiden of the Black Water (Wii U) Ruiner (PC, Steam) Ruiner (PC, Xbox Game Pass) Senran Kagura Peach Ball (Switch) SUPERHOT (PC) Super Mario 3D World (Wii U) The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game (PC) The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds (3DS) The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening (Switch) The Wonderful 101 (Wii U) Wandersong (PC) Wargroove (PC) West of Loathing (PC) Yoku's Island Express (PC)

#hitman 2 #baba is you #ruiner #goty #etrian odyssey v #wonderful 101 #west of loathing #game of the year

[omniversalobservations]

Buddy Boy (1989)

In 1988, just before getting laid off from DIC, I worked closely with Executive Producer Richard Raynis in the early development of an animation based on Nintendo games. Originally called Paper Boy, based off the game of the same name. For some legal reason Nintendo didn't want to use that game's title so Richard changed the name to Buddy Boy.

Source: DeviantArt

Captain N: The Game Master is a show that simply couldn't exist today. A gathering of videogame heroes and villains from all your favorite NES games, of both the first- and third-party variety, interacting and going on adventures together? It's one thing to have a crossover game like Smash Bros. or Project X Zone, but the number of licensing hoops that an animation studio would have to jump through just to be allowed to use these characters' likenesses is ridiculous. And even if a studio could clear those hoops, you'd get something (admittedly cool) like Wreck-It Ralph, which restricted licensed characters to cameo roles and had to adhere to the license holders' specifications on how these individuals could be portrayed.

But in 1989, videogame stars didn't have such defined characteristics, and Nintendo had so much control over third-party content that it could allow the use of characters from non-Nintendo-developed titles. With so much freedom, Captain N producer DiC Entertainment could get away with stuff like having Pit suffix "-icus" to the end of all his sentences; making Mega Man green and having him preface every other word with "mega"; turning Simon Belmont into a vain yet cowardly pretty boy; and anthropomorphizing a Game Boy into the Scooby-Doo of the gang.

But as bizarre as Captain N wound up being, it could have potentially been much, much crazier. On his deviantART page, former DiC artist Fil Barlow shared some of his concept art for the original show pitch to Nintendo. Instead of being called Captain N and starring Zapper-toting teenager Kevin Keene, it was originally going to star Paperboy from the game of the same name. For some undisclosed legal reason, the show was retitled Buddy Boy, though Buddy's profession remained unchanged.

From Barlow's art, we can see Pit, Mega Man, Donkey Kong, King Hippo, and Eggplant Wizard, the only characters who made the cut into the final production. Donkey Kong Jr. was part of the original cast, as was Death from Paperboy.

But the oddest creations by far were Mega Man's family, which included a "Megamum," "Megadad," pet "Megabird," and pet "Megarat." In this version of the show, Mega Man was the Game World analog of Buddy, and his parents were like the Incredibles -- former heroes who have fallen out of shape in their retirement. They're technically not robots either, rather cyborgs or humans wearing power suits. Imagine if this had been greenlit! How insane would that have been!?

Source: Destructoid

(image via DeviantArt)

#video games #Paperboy #Kid Icarus #Megaman #Punch-Out!! #Donkey Kong

[homebrewsno1asked4]

Wah

Full disclosure: I played an entire 20-level Dungeons and Dragons campaign as a character based on Waluigi.

An entire campaign

like almost 2(?) years of my life

playing a joke character

I based on Waluigi.

Scratchy nasal voice and going waaa and everything.

I wore a goddamn Waluigi hat.

I’m torn on this, folks. On the one hand, I feel like I should’ve changed my character to a more original creation after a couple levels. Play as a joke character for a little while to get used to 5E, then switch over to one of my brainchildren.

On the other hand, I fucking love Waluigi. I’ve wanted a Waluigi game since the Nintendo 64 era. I despaired when Nintendo failed us again last year (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, SAKURAI).

Well, what’s done is done. My Level Ridiculous Moon Elf Rogue-Ranger is part of our old group’s canon timeline, becoming the kingpin of the Baldur’s Gate underworld.

Strange, the passing of time.

Without further ado, a Waluigi build! After I deleted like half my notes when I shouldn’t have. Not like it was an accident - it was a totally conscious decision I regretted a few days later when trying to figure out why the hell I picked the things I did.

TOO BAD, WALUIGI TIME.

Race

Outwardly, Waluigi’s clearly a half-elf, if I had to pick a Wizards-sanctioned D&D race. Noodle build, big pointy ears, somehow still grows facial hair.

In the campaign I mentioned, I made my boy a moon elf. And his mustache was magical because elves can’t grow facial hair. I never fully fleshed out the magic mustache’s origin.

Functionally, neither elf nor half-elf caters to the Waluigi experience. Half-elves get that major Charisma bump. Waluigi’s not a charismatic fella; doesn’t play nice with others, throws fits. You know the type. Plus the Fey Ancestry feature doesn’t quite match up.

My number one choice? Githyanki.

That little Intelligence increase: Between him and Wario, he’s supposed to be a bit more cunning, more the Snidely Whiplash type.

Strength Boost: Waluigi’s always statted as a heavyweight/high-power character.

Githyanki Psionics: So githyanki get these psionic-flavored spell-like abilities at levels 1, 3, and 5. Mage Hand’s a bit of a stretch. Idk, Waluigi always has an abnormally long reach in Mario Sportball. But githyanki get Jump and Misty Step at levels 3 and 5, respectively. In multiple games, Waluigi has Super Jump abilities, and in at least one of the Mario Strikers titles, he has the ability to kind of Nightcrawler-bamf while he’s running.

Note: I’m aware Gith are kinda… noseless. Maybe your Waluigi Gith wears a false one, or a plague doctor mask, I dunno. Like he’s self-conscious about not having a nose, or the nose and mustache is their shitty disguise and everyone just goes along with it.

Class

Again, I picked Rogue for my way-too-long tenure playing High Fantasy Waluigi.

Looking back, I don’t think that was a bad way to go. He’s highly skilled, has well-rounded stats with an emphasis on Defense and Control (equal to DEX in a D&D framework, I guess?), and a set of special moves focused on sabotaging other characters.

I considered Alchemist (the ENWorld template), because Waluigi and his stages and items and stuff usually have a bomb motif. But beyond the bombs, I don’t think the Alchemist’s abilities are as neat a fit.

Subclass

My version of a D&D Waluigi was an Arcane Trickster. After looking into some of his more obscure abilities, I think that was the best way to go! Unfortunately, I didn’t use my abilities to their full Waluigi-ness.

The Mario Bros. and Wario all need power-ups to give them an edge. (With a few notable exceptions, like in Superstar Saga where Mario and Luigi unlock the ability to wield fire and lightning, respectively.) Waluigi, on the other hand, demonstrates several innate magical abilities. To name a few: surrounding himself with whirlwinds, summoning walls of thorns, filling the arena with water, cloaking his projectiles with illusions, etc. These lend beautifully to an Arcane Trickster, with a suggested spell list below:

Cantrips

gust

mage hand

minor illusion

shape water

true strike

Level 1

catapult

feather fall

fog cloud

jump

magic missile

silent image

Level 2

darkvision

dust devil

gust of wind

levitate

magic weapon

misty step

warding wind

Level 3

fireball

major image

tidal wave

wall of water

Level 4

control water

dimension door

Evard’s black tentacles

Background

The Criminal background seems obvious, but mechanically, I think two other backgrounds fit better:

Gladiator (Entertainer variant) and Harborfolk (Elemental Evil).

Acrobatics because that boy can jump (I’d rather demonstrate with GIFs, but I am lazy) and he can like swim through the air for no reason; and he’s a big ol ham, so Performance.

Gladiator also grants you proficiency in an unusual weapon. In all his appearances, Waluigi doesn’t really use weapons, besides bombs and Bullet Bills and other explosives/ballistics. If your DM allows firearms in their world, that could be his “Unusual Weapon” proficiency. Otherwise, I was thinking if I had the chance to redo a Waluigi-inspired character, I would use bats; baseball bats, tennis rackets, cricket bats (I like the image of D&D Waluigi cracking skulls with a cricket bat, I dunno why), etc. You could probably just borrow stats for clubs.

For Harborfolk: Athletics and Sleight of Hand make sense to me, and because of his high Control in the Mario Kart series, I’d say any vehicle proficiency is a good fit.

Suggested Characteristics

Gladiator

Personality Trait: I get bitter if I’m not the center of attention.

Ideal: Greed. I'm only in it for the money and fame.

Bond: I want to be famous, whatever it takes.

Flaw: I have trouble keeping my true feelings hidden. My sharp tongue lands me in trouble.

Harborfolk

Personality Trait: I'm a fisher, but I secretly detest eating fish. I will do anything to avoid it.

Ideal: I will gain the favor of someone powerful.

Bond: [A gang/faction] killed my friend. I'll get them back somehow, someday.

Flaw: I oversell myself and make promises I can't keep when I want to impress someone.

Suggested Feats

Acrobat

Athlete

Defensive Duelist

Durable

Elemental Adept

Magic Initiate

Resilient

Sharpshooter

Skilled

Spell Sniper

Congrats! You survived my first post! Your reward?

MORE TRASH!!

Stay tuned for just a bit more Waluigi!

“Please no stop with the Waluigi. I will kill myself and then you if you say “Waluigi” one more goddamn time.”

I hear you. I’m not changing my behavior, but I hear your complaints. But let me explain:

For some characters, I’ll be following up the “Canon Builds” (the format of this here post) with a new subclass targeting these characters. I’ll usually make a “Character Class” if some vital part of the character and their abilities feels missing from the Canon Build, if I couldn’t find anything that fit.

For instance, I relied on a lot of stretches of the imagination for Waluigi, relying on stuff like his Mario Sportball stats and specials to select the closest analogous things in D&D. Using Arcane Trickster, I captured some of his weirder, more obscure abilities.

But remember the Snidely Whiplash thing I mentioned earlier? I feel like that’s Waluigi’s core: explosives and sabotage. And other classes known for using explosives – Artificer and Alchemist – I don’t think quite cut it.

So stay tuned for the Dastardly Prankster Roguish Archetype! Unless I come up with a better name! Until then, ta-ta!

#dnd homebrew #5e homebrew #DnD 5e #waluigi #rogue #githyanki #gladiator #arcane trickster #too bad waluigi time #critical shoal

[advrik]

What the Nintendo Switch Means to Me

As I sit here in my kitchen in order to keep a close eye on the ground beef and sausage as it browns in preparation for dinner (it's spaghetti night), I have been working it out in my head how and why my gaming habits have changed over the years and how I ended up championing the Nintendo Switch and nothing else.

And then it hit me.

But before that, I would like to delve just a little bit into my gaming past that, at least in my head, makes sense why I am the way I am today.

It started in 1994. My grandmother got me the OG Gameboy+Zelda: Links Awakening bundle for Christmas. Pretty awesome, right? Finally game console that I could call my own. But it didn't end there, for Christmas Eve night my older brother passed on his three year old SNES to me as he was moving out in the new year and wanted it to remain safe. I was ecstatic. Here I was, seven years old and suddenly in possession of a Gameboy AND a SNES. A handheld and console, two separate entities that played two different types of games.

Now leading up to Christmas that year, I was regularly using my brothers (former) SNES and has asked Santa for the Super Gameboy for Christmas, so I could play some of my brothers old Gameboy games that has been lying around the house. I got one and still own it to this very day, but it was reviecing the Gameboy as well that likely lit the flames for what would become my modern day gaming preferences.

Being able to play Links Awakening both on the TV in my bedroom and in the big comfy recliner in the living room was amazing, and while it didn't tickle me as anything more than just playing a video game at the time, in hindsight it was where it all began.

Time went on and the Gameboy Color happened, and while I did enioy the majority of Pokémon Red on my SNES and on the go with the red Gameboy Pocket, I lost out on playing gen 2 of Pokémon and many, many Gameboy Color exclusive titles, including two Harvest Moons, on account of just not being able to get a GBC.

Fast forward to the Summer of 2003. I am in possession of a Gameboy Advance after having received one from my parents for Christmas in 2001, which was just like having a SNES in my hands. It was incredible, but I longed to be able to play the likes of Mega Man Battle Network and the Breath of Fire 2 port on my TV.

Enter the Gameboy Player for the Gamecube.

This thing was a godsend. It played everything! Gameboy, Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance, you name it. It existing had, albeit satiateing it for the time, form the need for a hybrid console. One that didn't require two components, but was a single piece of hardware that easily hooked up to the television without additional peripherals and consoles.

The Gameboy Player served its purpose perfectly and had seen much use, particularly in those times when I was wanting to watch something on TV or had gone on trips, but didn't want to miss any time spent on my farm in Harvest Moon Friends of Mineral Town.

I have for much of my life been a console gamer. I preferred the console experience over the smaller handheld experiences on account of how scaled back they tended to be in scope and gameplay. But as I aged, and I can pinpoint exactly when this transition started, my preferences in how I played began to change. Namely with the advent of the 3DS which gave console-like experiences in compact form and my getting a job in early 2014. I was finding myself increasingly agitated with the PS3 and Wii U games that I played, leaving many unfinished because I was feeling like I was wasting my time doing just this one thing and nothing else. My time had become limited due to work, and I was falling behind on movies and seasons of TV shows. 

The pick up and play nature of handhelds jived with what I was becoming. I could be watching a movie and put the 3DS down halfway through, then pick it up again towards the end. Not for any particular reason, but just because I could. I didn’t get this ability with home consoles, and it annoyed me more and more as time went on.

Things really hit a low point after I got my PS4 in 2015. I was buying games left and right because, I’ll be honest, it had a lot to offer and catered to my interests. But you know what? I wasn’t finishing anything. At one point I had around 30 games for it, with only a fraction of them having been completed. It was crazy agitating. I couldn’t focus on anything, partly because I was constantly thinking about what I could be doing instead of trying to finish this game. My anxiety was getting worse, not just because of my gaming habits mind you, but they contributed. Here I had this huge stack of games that were unfinished with no desire to play them because I couldn’t focus.

There was a point in 2016 where I went a solid 6 months without playing anything on my brand new PS4, instead choosing to focus on reading outside. I felt enlightened. All the while, I had my New 3DS XL and Animal Crossing New Leaf on me, which I would pick up and play here and there between chapters. It was magical and really made me wonder what my gaming future looked like if designated consoles were on the way out for me. Was I going to give up on gaming entirely? It definitely felt like it.

Enter Nintendo once again.

Being utterly disappointed with the Wii U and feeling like the 3DS had reached its peak. I was unsure of where they were going next, but the rumors of a console that was either to have both a handheld and a console version or design that was hybrid in nature sounded very promising, but with the support Nintendo had lost during the Wii U era, what exactly could I expect on such a device.

October 2016 saw the reveal of the Nintendo Switch; A hybrid handheld home console that could be played at home on the TV or on the go on a big, beautiful 720p screen. It was everything I could have hoped for all these years. A culmination of not only their stellar console exploits, but also their handheld department which had given the world the most therapeutic game in the world. 

Was I finally going to get the console experiences that I craved in a handheld form factor?

I can definitely say yes. Yes. Yes. A million times yes!!

The big reveal event in January 2017 spilled all details, setting the stage for a March 3rd 2017 release. I was ecstatic! I stayed up until 3am to nab a pre-order on Amazon, then headed out to Gamestop the following morning after only 3 hours of sleep to wait in line for the doors to open so that I could be first in line to get a backup pre-order in the event that something happened to my Amazon order.

The wait for the release was agonizing, but when the day finally came and I took off that weekend from work, it was amazing. Spending time with Breath of the Wild and Super Bomberman R are some of my favorite recent gaming memories. 

The concerns over what kind of support it might see didn’t last long, as third party devs saw the success and positive word of mouth revolving around Nintendo’s hybrid machine and started spitting out releases and announcements left and right. I knew I was putting all my eggs in one basket, but I just knew that I was making the right decision. I could feel it, this was going to be big.

I sold off the majority of my PS4 games, and gave the console and the few Resident Evil games that stayed behind to my sister. It was a tough decision in the end, but I don’t regret doing so at all now. Having to keep up two consoles would have just added to the stress and anxiety that just keeping my PS4 around was causing, so I did - as I always do, no matter how painful - what was best for myself, my mental state and my wallet and did away with the PS4.

Now more than two years later, 100+ Switch games finished and my collection growing what seems like weekly with games I never imagined I’d see on a Nintendo console or even re-released in this day and age. To put it lightly, the Switch and its form factor has been an absolute blessing and one I would not give up for anything in the world. Nintendo combining their handheld and home console ventures into one was brilliant idea and one I hope they don’t ever, EVER backtrack on.

In the time since this all unfolded, I’ve modded my dock so that I never have to remove my Switch from the Satisfye Pro Grip, meaning that there’s no extra steps between removing my Switch from the dock and slipping its grip on. It’s magical and has further increased my ability to just pick up and play, something I hadn’t seen since the days of the OG 3DS and its charging cradle.

So thank you Nintendo, and especially thanks to Satoru Iwata for brainstorming this beautiful device that the technical wizards of Nintendo saw through with and made a success, because without it, I can say most confidently that I would not be playing games today had it not happened.

#Blog #Written #Nintendo #Nintendo Switch #Story #Nostalgia #History

[mushroomhedgehog]

Update on Universal Orlando’s potential third park.

One of the big things I love is theme parks, especially those with heavy themes based on some really great films and TV shows. So it’s no surprise that I’m heavily anticipating the potential third park (fourth if you include the Volcano Bay water park) at Universal Orlando Resort. This has been rumored ever since Universal Parks and Resorts was reported to have acquired some more land near the resort not too long ago. Orlando Park Stop has been providing multiple leaks, which began with this first one last month at the end of January. It’s an image featuring a prominent character and confirms that Super Nintendo World is coming to this third park:

Of course, the image also shows that the third park will be called Universal’s Fantastic Worlds. Based on the name, it sounds like this park will take a similar approach to Islands of Adventure, with a focus of immersing guests within the worlds of various characters and franchises. A second leak was recently revealed earlier today, and claims that the Universal Monsters, specifically those from the 1930s such as Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, The Wolfman, and The Mummy, will be featured in their own themed area. The leak supporting this is the image below, which features what appears to be Dracula’s castle:

Having found this report from Orlando Park Stop as well, I looked back at the article of the previous leak, which had a few more images. OPS was even kind enough to combine the photos the best they could to piece together as much information as they could. Here’s what they came up with:

Take note of the copyrights section at the very bottom of this image. A lot of notable franchises are mentioned, including Jurassic World, Scooby-Doo, Beetlejuice, Fantastic Beasts (indicated by a fragment of the word “Grindelwald”), and as the previous leaks have mentioned, Nintendo and the Universal Monsters. It’s very possible that these could be hints of what is planned for Fantastic Worlds. However, it’s also possible they were merely mentioned in the document and had to be credited to their respective owners, and nothing more. However, there’s some factors I’d like to point out in regards to each of them.

First off, Beetlejuice and the main characters of Scooby-Doo are featured at Universal Studios Florida (the resort’s primary park) as meet-and-greet characters. They were featured in previous attractions that have since been closed, but unlike Beetlejuice, Scooby-Doo was not in a starring role in said attraction. I highly doubt those franchises were mentioned merely for the photo opportunities associated with them. Another major argument to consider is that Beetlejuice used to be the star of the Beetlejuice’s Graveyard Revue stage show, which featured the Universal Monsters. In short, I think it’s possible this show could return at the Universal Monsters area of Fantastic Worlds. As for Scooby-Doo, there’s a lot of possibilities for what could happen with that franchise. Maybe the meet-and-greet will also be moved over to the same area, as Scooby-Doo is heavily involved with monsters and supernatural much like Beetlejuice is, despite both being owned by Warner Bros. rather than Universal. Personally, I would love if Scooby-Doo recieved a new shooting ride similar to Men in Black: Alien Attack at the Fantastic Worlds. Various shooting rides themed to Scooby-Doo previously existed at numerous Six Flags and Paramount Parks, the latter of which are now owned by Cedar Fair. Following Cedar Fair’s acquisition, Scooby-Doo was removed from those rides, while the Six Flags parks later replaced their rides with new ones. If Universal were to make their own version of this ride with better tech due to a larger budget, it would be amazing.

In regards to Jurassic World, elements of those films are already featured at Universal Orlando. In the Jurassic Park area of Islands of Adventure, Owen Grady’s raptor Blue is featured as the star of the Raptor Encounter attraction, where she meets guests and poses for photos with them. That’s the only attraction with emphasis on the Jurassic World films though. It’s possible that Universal was aware that fans would be upset at Universal Studios Hollywood retheming Jurassic Park: The Ride to a Jurassic World update, and expected similar backlash would occur if the area at Islands of Adventure would receive a similar update. Building a separate area at Fantastic Worlds would not only allow for different kinds of attractions, but also keep the existing Jurassic Park open without a long wait to refurbish it. For instance, I would love a ride based on the geospheres, hopefully with animatronic dinosaurs rather than projected images of them. Furthermore, once this park is complete, perhaps Universal could still allow guests to experience the Jurassic Park franchise at Fantastic Worlds while they perform some maintenance on the Islands of Adventure area. Some of the animatronics could use a technical upgrade, and having a separate area themed to Jurassic World would be a great way to provide guests that happen to visit when the other area is down. Finally, much like the Hogwarts Express connected Hogsmeade to Diagon Alley at the two current parks, perhaps a monorail based on that in the first JW film could be featured to connect the Jurassic World area of Fantastic Worlds to the Jurassic Park area of Islands of Adventure.

Finally, we have Fantastic Beasts. As of right now, Fantastic Beasts has not been featured much even in the gift shops of either Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley. That is, until recently. In addition to the replica wands of Harry, Dumbledore, and other characters, replica wands of Newt, Tina, and Grindelwald have been available for purchase. But other than that, there’s been little presence of the franchise, compared to how much attention to Jurassic World was given in the Jurassic Park area of Islands of Adventure. This may be due to Jurassic Park being one of Universal’s own properties, as Harry Potter is a franchise licensed from Warner Bros, and the agreement did not include Fantastic Beasts. I would imagine this area would feature at least one thrill ride similar to those at the current areas based on The Wizarding World but with Newt, Tina, and others facing off against Grindelwald. I’d also expect a gentle ride involving a tour through Newt Scamander’s suitcase of creatures, complete with animatronics of various wacky characters.

At the end of the day though, all of this is speculation. Universal hasn’t even officially announced the park, so all we can go off of is speculation and any leaked information if we’re lucky. I would expect this park to open sometime before 2025 at the very least. But based on the fact that it took Universal two and a half years after announcing they would be building Hogsmeade back in 2007, and it opened in 2010, that means this park could take possibly more than twice than that long to build. And with other projects like Hagrid’s Motorbike Adventure set to replace the Dragon Challenge later this year at Hogsmeade in Islands of Adventure, and another unannounced (but teased on social media) coaster for the Jurassic Park area of the same park, it’s not clear when construction will begin or an announcement will be made on this park. Hopefully one of those two will be soon, as we’ve already had a bit of a wait for Super Nintendo World after that was announced, and the first incarnation of that is scheduled to open next year at Universal Studios Japan. Either way, we’ll probably be waiting a while before we hear more information, especially if said information is confirming anything, rather than being speculation or rumors.

#universal orlando resort #universal orlando #universal studios florida #islands of adventure #universal’s fantastic worlds #fantastic worlds #nintendo #super nintendo world #super mario #universal monsters #dracula #frankenstein’s monster #the wolfman #the mummy #the creature from the black lagoon #the phantom of the opera #scooby-doo #beetlejuice #jurassic park #jurassic world #harry potter #the wizarding world of harry potter #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts #theme parks #amusement parks #rumors #rumor #speculation #excited

[writtenfan]

“Tell me, you feel the same. For my sake.”

Severus x Reader Imagine

Request: Can you do a Snape x reader where the reader is apart of the slugclub and they end up taking a friend to a party slughorn organized. Snape finds out after overhearing students talk about all the people going together/alone. he finds out who the reader's going with and goes to the party to take the reader away (basically making up an excuse) due to jealousy. He confesses to the reader about his feelings and they feel the same. sorry for being too specific, I'm a sucker for fluff.

“Just top the brew with the crushed seeds, that should work...you’ll have a kicker in no time”.

You plant your elbows on the tabletop and lean forward looking into the bubbling cauldron. You click your tongue and give a wink to the 3rd year Slytherin boy in front of you. “Th-thanks a bunch y/n!” he stammers as he shakes the jar of multicolored seeds into his mortar and started grinding. You throw yourself back on your chair and look around the little study room in the dungeon. Small groups of students of all years were working and talking amongst themselves, most of them on potion related work, while one kid tried to turn into their Animagi form for the fourth time in a row, by jumping off their chair. You gave the kid a thumbs up and got up from your table, heading out the door. You decided to look for your friend you hadn’t seen all day.

You dug your hands into your sweatpants. You didn’t have another class until late so of course, you changed into more comfortable clothes. You try to whistle a tune as you twirl leisurely in the hallway keeping your eye on whatever interested you as you walked down damp corridors. You reached the top of the ascending staircase to the main hall and glanced up the stairs, the top shimmered with a cool crisp light that made you happier somehow. You walked up the stairs, skipping steps every now and then and hopped onto the main floor “Rowan!”. Your voice is barely heard over in the hall full of students. Walking, running, snogging. You name it, it was like a mini train-station in this crossroad of a room. Right near the great hall entrance sat a group of students sitting on floating beanbags playing a multiplayer video game on their Nintendo’s. You started walking towards them, simply to check what made a few of them curse, causing their bean bags to slam into the ground. When you heard a voice shout out from behind you, “

Mr./Mrs. L/N, Mr./Mrs. L/N!” called the weary voice. Stopping in place you swung towards the call with a puzzled smile, fixing your T-shirt so that it looked presentable. You ruffle your hair and walk towards the jittery old man who dodged and weaved through the crowd “Hey Prof. Slughorn” you grin as he walks up to you, you hold out your hand for a shake and with both hands, he shakes your hand enthusiastically. He wore an old brown plaid bowtie and the simple brown suit to match. There was a quill stuck in his lapel that seemed to flick it’s feather around as if it was alive. After finally releasing your hand, he fumbled around with his collar and gave you a bright thrilled smile. 

“I’ve been looking for you l/n”.

You dig your uncomfortably warm hands against your pants inside your pocket “what’s going on?” You say anxiously as you scan your surroundings finding many eyes glancing curiously over to you and the new potions teacher. Slughorn pats your shoulder reassuringly and gives it a firm shake”. Don’t you worry, nothing is wrong come, follow me, it’s better to be able to hear your voice, rather than having to shout for my poor old ears”. He pushes you towards the stairs against your upper back uncomfortably pressing his chest against the side of your arm. “eh, ha alright professor…” Taking one last hopeful look behind, you look for your friend hoping your they could go with you, but to no luck. You stepped up multiple staircases towards the six floor. On the way up, he chatted with you about students he tutored, represented for, and how he thought you were such an extraordinary (witch/wizard), which caused you to grow even more uncomfortable. Fortunately, you had just gotten off the last set of stairs. Slughorn let go of your back and leaned against the stair banister, breathing hard. “Now, that will keep me young now won’t it?” He wheezed as he pushed himself off it, and began walking towards the end of the corridor, towards a door down the hall

” Come on, right here!”

 You hurriedly followed behind him as he opens the door for you.” Welcome to my office, take a seat feel free to nosh on a cake or two”. You walk with wide eyes into the room. The office looked a lot more like a living room apartment than a simple office. Although it had the standard desk, it also had a huge couch, an armchair, a fireplace, and a long end table propped with knickknacks and lamps. Wizard teachers sure had it good at work, especially compared to most muggle teaching offices. You gingerly make your way to the office and sit down on the couch getting yourself a hearty piece of sweet cake. You begin munching while you watch Slughorn stride towards you, his eyes focus on you with a confusing enthusiasm, the lack of blinking he did, made you take smaller bites and wipe your mouth more often than you were. “So, from what I picked up, you wanted me to join a club?” Slughorn let’s out a couple hearty laughs and waved his hand in front of his face as if swatting away an insect.

“No, no, no… not just any club my dear, my club, the Slug Club!” He ambled over to the side of the couch and held a hand on the back of the sofa. “This club is intended for everyone you know! Only the best students at this school are chosen, the best in academics, sports, magical talent…” He leaned his arm over your shoulder and plucks a silver badge from the table popping it into your hands. You look at the Hogwarts crested badge engraved with a nicely designed” S and C” along with the small words looking at the bottom that from what you can make out said something in Latin. He cleared his throat with a grin set on his face, you give them a polite smile as you gently set the heavy badge back down into the table top, “and I would like you to join us (Ms,Mr) l/n...’ He walks to the other side of the coffee table and stares you down with a polite eagerness. “and I won’t take no for an answer! You are a formidable (witch/wizard) (Mr,Ms) l/n, your magical work is something to be impressed with, your prestige in your magical studies is astounding and for a Muggle-Born no less!” He sings as he clasps his hands together eagerly, almost bouncing on his toes”. You ignore the talk of blood purity and wipe your mouth with a napkin, “What do you do exactly, in this club.” You inquire as you lean back in your seat. “

Well, you’ll attend meetings that vary from weekly to monthly depending on the time but expect weekly…” he walks to the front of the couch and turns his back to you, looking into the fireplace

“We attend prestigious parties, events, talk about our improvements…”

You take this time to look over his office once more. Your eye catches a jar of worn up fluff and greenish cloth.

“So, you see, I must have you join”. You focus back to him.

” So, will you l/n?... This club will set you up for greatness beyond measure, it’ll make you connections that will propel you forward in the wizarding world… how about it?”

You look up at him with an amused grin thinking for a moment, as you dust crumbs from your lap. The club didn’t seem so bad, maybe a bit time-consuming, but for some reason, he had thought you were talented enough… which you sure we’re going to this to discuss with him later, but this was an interesting opportunity.

“Sure professor, Yes, I’ll join…”

He watched the young whelps run around the outside of the Quidditch pitch, leaning against the structure, arms crossed. My…they spoke, loudly. Gossiped amongst each other, a few deciding running round was an effective way to tire their energy. “Per-fect”. He muttered under his breath rolling his eyes back towards the castle that stood in the distance.

Severus’s eyes strained in the light of the sun as he tried to focus on the world around him, once the clouds departed overhead. He slunk back against the shadow of the structure. Hours spent in the dark damp depths of the dungeon, and indoors, in general, made being outside so dreadful. He snapped his head towards a girl who had just slipped and fallen into the grass because she hadn’t observed the grass was clearly still damp from the early morning showers. “Sit still Amira!” he shouted, which caused her to jolt and cautiously pick herself up as she frantically dusts grass from her pants and shirt as she sat down. “Sorry Professor Snape”. She responded militarily, giving him a silent respectful nod. He raised his eyebrows and gave the girl a slightly impressed glare before continuing to observe the world around him. He would train these first years no doubt, no Slytherin would be even considered inadequate on his watch.

The wind picked up, tossing his hair in front of his face. He tucked a few black strands behind his ear and turned himself so that the wind was against his back. Where was Professor Hooch, he couldn’t watch these kids for long… he thought as he felt the suns blinking rays dip behind the clouds once more. He stepped from the shadows and walked around the group of Slytherin children in a slow steadied pace, keeping his eyes and ears trained for any foreseen nonsense.

“Yeah- A rock…came to life…it was awesome- “

“No- I didn’t know the bathrooms were so awesome! I love the snake faucets!”

“My brother doesn’t like Flitwick, says he stares at his crotch too much”.

“Yes, my sibling is going to the party tonight, along with his (house) friend y/n”

He stopped abruptly, making sure he wasn’t directly looking at them he turned his focus towards the forest past their sitting forms.

“Really? My mother used to be in his club when he first was here at Hogwarts! Says that it set her up on the path of being one of the best Witch doctors of her time”.

“Yeah- their really excited, although they didn’t exactly get into the club themselves, y/n invited them, they hope to get to join in the process…it’s a fancy party I hear, absolutely top-notch”.

Severus ground his teeth and rubbed his thumb and index finger together in fidgety distress  

“Party. What party?”

Severus towering form walked up to the sitting children who looked up into Severus’s dark glittery eyes in a nervous regard for the man. Who made their nerves even worse as He tapped his foot impatiently. “S-Slughorn’s party tonight professor”. The girl stammered as she muddled around with her hair. “Slug-horn?” he stared down into the child’s eyes, wanting more information at a quicker pace. “Ye-Yes, his club is hosting a party tonight, some of his club members, a-are going. “

“Where?”

“f-fourth floor. That’s all I know sir”.

Severus grunted dissatisfied with the information. He reduced his glare’s concentration and snappily walked away from the two kids, who watched him bursting into a soft chatter afterward.

“Professor, Thank you so much!”

Severus spun his head around towards the brisk figure of madam hooch rushing towards him. All the students behind him rose up and stood eagerly for their first flying lesson. “About time, Prof. Hooch”. He projected sternly, as the woman walked to him, holding a broomstick in her hand a polite smile on her face. “I’m sorry Severus, there was a small troublesome situation I needed to attend-”.

Severus crossed his arms once more and scowled down at this queer looking woman, forcing himself to be respectful.

“I don’t care, what you were doing…but what’s important is that you’re here now, and now that you are- “he walked past her and turned towards his first years “Behave. All of you. If I hear one of you step out of line, I’ll make you regret that you did”. With that simple sentence, he briskly walked away from the group, his black robe fluttering behind him, his overall demeanor, intimidating and mysterious.

It was night, but not yet late enough…the castle was buzzing with nightlife. Students roamed around the halls in packs or settled themselves silently and did whatever they pleased.

But all that was beyond the door.

Severus investigated his face in the bathroom mirror, disassociated from his nagging thoughts that had lingered in the back of his mind since mid-morning. He looked into his own eyes and stared into his black pupils, he groaned and flipped the nozzle of hot water on the sink below him, letting the stream run on his fingers as he observed each section of his face in quiet displeasure. He didn’t usually look this intensely at his appearance in vanity, more often his hair than other physical parts of him this intensely. The more he looked at himself the more he felt adverse about himself, which was a feeling deep down that he didn’t like visiting. He thought of himself with high regard and extreme intelligence and talent no doubt, but when he thought too hard and looked too hard, he often heard that small voice of his in his head which brought up doubts that held in his ribcage. He wiped his wet fingers beneath his eyes rubbing them against his tired lines and briskly over his eyebrows. Grunting as he turned the faucet off. He looked down into the sink and fixed his hair, smoothing it out against his head, parting it, fiddling with it. “Fine”. He murmured gripping the sides of the sink firmly propping himself up against it, looking hesitantly into the mirror. “You're fine”. He grumbled, Tucking a loose strand of hair behind his right ear. He stood silently and listened to the dull rumble of water in the pipes, and the wind against the bathroom window, instead of his own thoughts in his head. “You will…walk in.” his voice was a low slur, he dipped his head down and studied the sink drain.

“It doesn’t matter…”

“she/he…”

He pressed the palm of his hand against his forehead and rose from his hunched over posture tilting his head up at the ceiling. Letting out a low exhale, he dropped his hand and turned back to the door, fixing his robes before pushing against its frame and walking out with a quite somberness.

The room was beautifully decorated, the candle lights hung around the room and shined brightly against dangling cream translucent cloths a large round table placed in the middle of the room. Students sat on comfy cream-colored couches and recliners, thin tall tables held drinks on their tops, people talked to each other besides them. You pressed your closed hand against your chest lightly. Sitting at a small bar, your friend sat beside you had been talking to you about some project their parents had been working on relating to a specific strand of something called Wengo flu. You listened intently and sipped a bubbling and sweet sparkling pear drink from a thin gorgeous wine glass.

“-that’s really the solution”

They finish, popping their glass to their lips taking a hardy swig.

“This party sucks don’t it.” you reply plainly.

They laugh and set down their glass. “Yes. It does, I knew you wouldn’t like this as much as someone else.”

You smiled and investigated your glass at the tinted yellow liquid.

“I mean- it’s good that I’m here I guess; this club has been…kind to me- nothing special”.

You looked at the bartender on the other side of the bar as they washed a glass with a light tan cloth.

“They even hired a bartender. I mean wow, and the catering isn’t bad either…I never even tried Implen ears before…”

They laughed once, then raised from their seat. “Come on- the dinners over- we can probably go now-“

You listened for a second at the music and talking that filled the room, you feel oddly relaxed, you took a deep breath and rose from your seat. “Sure, why not…”

Your friend’s eyes abruptly narrowed angrily, “y/n, professor- “

You look at the direction they’re looking at, you turn around and find yourself looking into the eyes of Professor Snape, wearing a rather darker shaded black robe, with a silver button clasped at his chest. He stopped in front of you and looked down at you with still eyes, that caused you to stir in slight discomfort. “Hello Severus...” you say constraining an unsteady pleasure from showing on your face. Severus manages to look away from your eyes and instead focuses his attention of your friend behind you...

“How sweet. Accompanying (ms/mr)  l/n, tonight, are we?”

 Your friend narrows their eyes at him. 

“Yes, had to- they insisted dragging me here professor” they replied. 

Severus narrowed his eyes in return and sneered, before correcting himself. “Guess (he/she) didn’t have anyone better to ask then…” he held his eyes back on you “hmm?” You…you felt a weird feeling stir in response to his gaze. Although you didn’t respond.

Things had been weird between. You two for a while now-…he had just recently seemed to be ignoring you, for about two weeks…this was the first time he had talked to you out of class setting since. “Actually-“ your friend cut into his focus like a knife and caused it to wash away in an instance. “Silence, I don’t care for any more conversation…” Severus cut in, shifting himself so that his body turned slightly towards the doorway. “y/n, come with me.” Your heartbeat skips, oh shoot- were you in trouble. With who? What happened. “I'll be right back..” you say wearily to your friend as you follow Severus stride towards the door. He opens it for you and you hesitantly walk through into the hallway.

He glances his head back towards y/n’s friend and scowls, angered by the obvious lack of respect they had for him and closed the door behind him. He watched your figure turn towards him in the hallway and wait for him. His attention was once against lost in your eyes, and the way you looked. He moved from the door walked towards you.

“Follow me”.

He spoke curtly and started heading there without glancing back at you, knowing you’d follow. As you both walked, he spent a concerning amount of his concentration listening to your feet walk along behind him. It made him feel warmer, a quivering nervous warmer. You both walked down sets of stairs in silence, the world around you loud enough to prevent this tension to consume you both. Eventually, you both walked out of the castle, towards Hagrid’s hut. The wind was still, yet the air was refreshing tonight.

You followed Severus in the opposite direction of the hut, into a small sitting area hugged by a few trees, like a grotto- close to the Quidditch pitch. It was silent out here, not a single person was this far, this late at night…He walked to the side of a rickety pale wooden bench and rested his hand on it, looking up into the stars, his back to you.

He mumbled under his breath words you couldn’t make out as you got closer. Stopping at once as you came close enough.

“What’s the matter-“ you say softly, fighting a smile on your face. Trying to seem normal, trying to seem indifferent, but failing.

Severus turns towards you, his eyes glittering against the darkness. His hair lightly tossed in the soft wind. He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes say too much.

A few moments pass, and he finally breaks the silence,

“I don’t like how Slughorn treats you as if your some kind of jewel to add to his collection…”  You could feel his body heat…or was it yours…were you hot or was it just the weather? “...This club is just a narcissistic assist to his personality and I don’t want you to get caught up in the idea that you're better than everyone because he insists that it’s so”

“I wasn’t thinking that Severus...”

“Yes. I know, it just worries me and annoys me how much Slughorn and all the other members of this “exceptional posse” fawn over you constantly…it's bad for the character.”

You raise your eyebrow and cross your arms with a smile “fawn hmm? You're worried about my character?”

“Yes.” His foot begins to tap.

“Your character is great as it is, y/n I don’t want them changing you or…trying to get close to you just because of how extraordinary you are...”

The wind blows against your face and your hands are trying to claw into your own wrists.

“I’m glad you like who I am…really, hearing it from you means so much more to me than hearing it from Slughorn or any other person in this whole castle” you blurt out unexpectantly, your voice quiets once you do so. You didn’t say it the way you wanted to, you were going for a more confident friendly tone and ended up with a sincere truthful one.

You begin to blush uncontrollably and your eyes scatter from him, off into the distance. His jaw releases slightly and trembles a bit.

“I…”  his voice is so velvety and soft, you force yourself to look back at him.

He looks at you as if you were a puzzle piece that he needed to solve but didn’t know how.

“I need to confess something, that I feel, is apparent to the both of us...”

Taking his hand off the bench and one last step towards you, his face bursting with a nervous sternness that startles you.

You already knew.

“I…I can’t keep this to myself (y/n)…so I’m going to say this clearly and once”

He raises a finger in the air “only because you make me feel as if I could. If It turns out I’m wrong, you’re going to have to forget this moment ever happened, understand?” you grin nervously and look at him reassuringly. “Just say it…” you whisper in a soft ecstatic tone.

“You know you can, you can tell me anything Severus I won’t-”

“-Every single day y/n. I think of you”.

You lip close, his hand gingerly lifts yours as if you were made of glass.

“All the time I’ve spent with you has caused me to feel ways in which I never thought I could…”

His fingers try and avoid holding you too tight and buzz with apprehension.

“...Undeserving, happiness that I never tasted before… you’ve caused my heart to battle with my mind endlessly, making me sick…making me…”

“need you even more...”

…You wanted to kiss him, you wanted to kiss him, you wanted to kiss him…

“I enjoy- seeing your eyes look at me. I enjoy hearing your words only meant for me…I crave your existence whenever it isn’t directly in front of me…”

“You make me shake with jealousy, tense up with fear, and languid with complete appreciation”.

“I adore you y/n…I need you to feel the same, for my sake…” his eyebrows furrow.

“Please tell me you feel the same. Please”. His voice begins to crack, and his eyes lose their battle with the few tears that ran down his face, a hopeless anger rises in his tone

“Please, tell me you haven’t fooled me with your kind words and magnificent facade…tell me you’ve looked at me and felt some sort of favorable emotion…tell me here and now, and I promise you I won’t yield to my mind anymore, I’ll let my heart offer itself to you, you can have it. You can have it!” his voices trembles.

“…all I need is for you to say it…” a tear fell down his face.

“Just tell me, you feel the same,” he shouts insecurely.

You don’t even look at him for a second more as you slam into his chest and wrap your arms around him. Holding him with all the might you could muster, sobbing violent laughter against his shoulder, holding his head in your hands, feeling for the first time, his loving embrace you’d craved since your soul fell for this man. He feverishly wrapped his arms around you and held onto you with this trembling hunger for your touch. He presses his nose against the side of your face feeling his wet tears against your cheek. Without thinking, you turn your head and kiss his upper lip. The world spins around you as if you had used a time turner.

You break from his lips, “I always have!” you say in a raspy overwhelmed joy.

He breaks into a smile, the brightest sincerest smile you’ve ever seen on his face. He laughs and holds the side of your face with his hand, rubbing his thumb on the side of your chin, appreciatingly.

“Thank you..” he holds onto your waist continuing to appreciate your (beautiful/handsome) face with his eyes.

“Stay here, with me...forget that absurd party...” he coos as he leads you over to the bench. He takes out his wand and says a spell flicking the wand in a small quick circle in the air a white sparkling circle erupts from his wand’s tip and dissolves as it grows bigger, suddenly you see a thin wobblily aura surround this little spot your in. “Just you and I.” he whispers as sits down with you on the bench that creaks softly under your weight. He felt like a teenager again, the brimming joy in his body wouldn’t allow him to be still.

“…let me hold you…let me hear your voice…as if for the first time..”

#severus snape #severus x reader #severus imagine #snape x reader #snape imagine #hp imagine

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: February 2019

Cold winter months means lots of snow days and lots of snow days means movies/tv/books to consume! 

……….FILM……….

On the Basis of Sex (2018) I’m always interested in how true-to-life a film like this is and after a little research, it’s fairly close! I appreciate its depiction of a healthy relationship and the courtroom stuff was TENSE! Oof being a lawyer is crazy tough. Anyway, it’s worth checking out and I left the theatre thoroughly inspired to topple the patriarchy.

Happy Death Day 2U (2019) The original was one of those clean, efficient movies that are so satisfying to see. The sequel goes in a bonkers direction (which I’m here for) but some of that simplicity is lost. I appreciate the intent to push to forward and hope that the inevitable third film doesn’t go completely off the rails.

Coco (2017) I can’t believe I slept on this! It felt like Pixar at its best with a tight-yet-emotional screenplay coupled with stellar animation. If you made the same mistake I did and haven’t checked this out, I implore you to go find it. So beautiful on so many levels.

……….TELEVISION……….

Russian Doll (Episode 1.01 to 1.08) Loved this whole season. Eight episodes felt just long enough to tell a complete story without any filler. Every single actor is fantastic and the whole thing has an Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland vibe. It’s also fulfilling in the same way in that the mystery of the time loops is less important than the journey and I love it even more for that perspective.

The Bachelor (Episode 23.05 to 23.08) I can’t believe how many women are just...leaving. Of their own free will! It feels like we’re watching a very slow (and very small) cultural shift via this series. Or maybe it’s just that Colton is a handsome dope. 

The Kitten Rescuers (Episode 1.01 to 1.03) Now this is the sort of content I need in 2019. It’s heartwarming, sincere, informative (I’m legit learning so much about cats), and just so good and pure. Between this and Great British Bake Off, I can only assume all UK programming is this good.

Umbrella Academy (Episode 1.01 to 1.03) There’s so much that I love about this show and yet it’s still not quite connecting. Maybe it’s the uncertain tone? Shifting from quirky family comedy to drama to action? I don’t think the written funny bits work as well as they think, and the drama/family stuff is connecting way more than I was expecting. So who knows.

The Good Place (Episode 3.10 to 3.12) Great to see Nicole Byer on the show. It’s still so impressive with how the series plays with television’s need to “reset” characters and limit how much growth they experience, while also building on that growth. It has time loops and demons and questions of morality and yet still so light and fun!

……….READING……….

Splinter of the Mind’s Eye by Alan Dean Foster (Complete) I dunno. Maybe Star Wars books aren’t for me or maybe this wasn’t a good first foray into the expanded universe. Luke and Leia seem to be more exaggerated versions of their A New Hope selves and Vader...trips and falls? There were a lot of cool ideas and maybe I just need to find a different story.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (Complete) First time reading it and it had a VERY different plot from what I imagined. There’s a murder mystery! Bonkers. Also the book is very good and timeless and you can take away a bunch of different interpretations. 

Planet Hulk by Greg Pak, Carlo Pagulayan, and J. Michael Straczynski (Complete) The slow start had me worried that I’d built it up to be more than I’d imagined, but I was wrong. Once it gets going, it REALLY digs in. There are animalistic robots, LOTS of of gladiatorial action (something I wanted more of from Thor: Ragnarok) and a solid story.

Sand Land by Akira Toriyama (Complete) Fun, but not as fun as some of Toriyama’s work. Nor are the characters as well-defined. The art, however, continues to be fantastic and I really think this book was conceived so he could draw a bunch of neatly stylized tanks. Worth checking out if you’re a completionist, but I think the original Dragon Ball comics (I can’t speak to Dragon Ball Z) are more charming/funny/and interesting.

……….AUDIO……….

Disneyland For Designers (Podcast) Maybe it’s because of my recent trip to Disney World but I’m really digging this! Only two episodes so far, so it’s not a big commitment, and I always appreciate podcasts that overlap interests (Disney + design, comedy + murder, D&D + the surreal, etc.)

……….GAMING……….

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (Nintendo) Good casual fun and I’m really digging the single player stuff but ho boy is it humbling when you randomly come across a VERY difficult challenge (without any real heads up). Also I can’t justify paying for online yet so it’s just me, myself, and I for now.

Maze of the Blue Medusa (Satyr Press) The group from our homebrew adventure is starting this and it’s been a lot of fun so far! They’re currently exploring a labyrinth of gardens while searching for art to appease a demon with an eye for design.

Curse of Strahd (Wizards of the Coast) My family campaign and they’re still trapped in a haunted house! The party is currently exploring the tunnel system hidden underneath the home and are finding all sort of baddies. It’s been great!

And that’s it! As always, feel free to share any suggestions you may have and happy Thursday!

#Monthly Media #Kolbisneat #Andrew Kolb

[jonathangroffcentral]

In Conversation With Mindhunter’s Jonathan Groff

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty Images

Actor Jonathan Groff has already enjoyed a huge degree of respect and recognition for his previous roles in theatre (Hamilton and Spring Awakening), on TV (Looking and Glee) and also in film with the hugely successful Frozen. Lately however he has found a whole new audience, who are singing his praises for his outstanding performance as Holden Ford on Mindhunter. In my extended interview with Jonathan we talk about his early years, his first roles, working on Mindhunter, his thoughts on David Fincher’s directing technique and so much more. (x)

By Paula Courtney -  July 29, 2018

PC: So how are you?

JG: I’m doing well. I’m in Pittsburgh.

PC: I’m in Edinburgh: have you been?

JG: I’ve never been.

PC: Well you must put right that wrong.

JG: I know and there’s that famous theatre festival there.

PC: Yes and it starts in about a month; actually it’s the worst time to come to the city: it’s jam-packed then.

JG: I have friends that have been over there during that time and they loved it there.

PC: It is really good because it opens the city up much more. We are getting a lot more cosmopolitan, in that the cafés and venues are open much later.

JG: And are you liking that or is it taking away its charm?

PC: I like it because it’s similar to when you visit other parts of Europe where you can be sitting outside at a cafe at 10 p.m. – guaranteed we don’t always get the weather. Especially on a Sunday, I don’t know about America but Sundays could be quite boring when I was a kid: there was nothing open, nothing to do. So yeah, I like it where it’s going.

JG: Nice.

PC: What about yourself: what kind of town is Pittsburgh?

JG: Well Pittsburgh is interesting, kind of like what you are saying about Edinburgh: where it has been becoming more cosmopolitan, probably in the last decade or so; it’s sort of like Hipster Land now. It was a kind of big, industrial town and then it crashed and now there’s cool coffee shops and bike stores. There are actually really incredible restaurants! My friend actually has a place in New York called Caselulla, it’s on 52nd and 10th, (it opened when I was doing Spring Awakening back in 2007) and they opened a sister location in Pittsburgh. So there are people from all over the culinary world coming and taking up space there, which is interesting.

PC: In the past British food was slated for being bad but it’s turning around nowadays, which is great. Having said that some food in these fancy places I’m like, ‘What even was that?’ (Both laugh)

I always like to begin an interview talking about the person’s name. I’ve read your middle is Drew: does that have any special reasons as to why your parents chose that or did they just like it?

JG: My mom wanted my first name to be Drew after her older brother. He just passed away a couple of years ago but yes, his name was Drew. My brother’s name is David; he’s my older brother. I think there’s Jonathan and David in the Bible, who were very close friends, and I think my mom and dad liked the name Jonathan and they associated it with the name David because of that.

PC: You were born in Pennsylvania: what was it like growing up at the time you were aged around 8 -10 years old? What kind of boy were you at that age?

JG: Life was good. My dad trains horses for a living in Lancaster PA. We didn’t live on a horse farm – our house was separate from the horse farm – but in the summer I spent a lot of time with my brother and our friends running around this kind of giant, grassy field on our farm. There was a corn crib there – a giant structure you put corn cobs in after you get them out of the field – that was always empty over the summer and we would climb and play in that. There were lots of little barns we would play in and horse stalls. The first play I ever did was when I was Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz in my dad’s barn: we sold tickets to our parents; we have video footage of people coming to the show. It was very kind of creative and ‘country’.

PC: Is that because you had to make your own fun, because you didn’t have access to museums, art galleries etc?

JG: Yes definitely. I mean, once we got a Nintendo in the late ‘80s that definitely took up a lot of time as well. For better or for worse my brother and I spent a lot of time on the Nintendo, but my mom and dad were very athletic and cool, and they really liked the outdoors, so my mom was always trying to get us out of the house and get us playing outside – took us on bike rides. We were outside a lot: for which I’m really grateful. I feel grateful that there really was a nice situation for us growing up because there was this horse farm, but there were fences all around it, so it wasn’t like we were just in the middle of nowhere. Our parents were always up on the top of the hill and we would go acres away and play: so it was a great balance of having independence, but not really. We could go off on our own but our parents were always aware of where we were, they didn’t always have their eye on us but it was a nice balance.

My mom grew up in a small town called Strasburg in Pennsylvania where she’d climb out of her back window and run through the streets and play. She tells all these stories about meeting her friends at the pool – just stuff you would never do now because it would be so dangerous for kids to roam the streets at 5, 6 & 7 but she grew up in a town where there was this level of freedom and independence that would just be impossible today, because now it’s way more populated.

PC: And also because people now often say they don’t even know who their next door neighbour is. In those days, where I grew up in England, it was really rough and there were some very unsavoury people but on the flip side there were more good people than bad, who looked out for each other and their families, so we could play out all day. Certainly where I live now we know our neighbours but I’ve heard lots of people say they don’t know theirs. When you have kids it is a fine balance: it can be a big bad world out there never mind what we see on Mindhunter…

JG: Yes.

PC: Did you have a nickname in school?

JG: I did not. I used to hate it in elementary school when people called me Jonny; I don’t know why I didn’t like that nickname.

PC: I suppose it would be just like Groffy or something, if you can add a ‘y’ to a name people do tend to do that.

JG: Yes, I have way more people now call me J Groffy, they call me JG, so I have lots of nicknames now but I didn’t have any in high school. In middle school which is 7-8th grade here (you know 10-12 years old) I was very obsessed with being cool and having the right clothes and going to school dances and hanging out with the ‘cool’ kids. I was very obsessed with the social ladder at age 11 & 12. And then, once I did the 8th grade play – which I guess I was maybe 12 or 13 at that time – I just found my love for theatre and then I didn’t care at all where I fit in the social scene.

PC: Really? Because you do look like the type who was in with the ‘cool’ kids.

JG: All of that kind of need and headspace that was taken up thinking of trying to be cool or whatever, was gone almost in a blink of an eye. As soon as I did the play it was like ‘boof’ and it was gone – all I cared about was theatre. Then there are these two great theatres in my hometown: one is called the Fulton Opera House, which is a regional theatre where they would have actors from New York come down and perform in the plays; and then there’s another theatre called the Ephrata Performing Arts Center, which is a community theatre which would hire local actors. So once I was 13-14-15-16-17-18 I spent all my free time after school working at those theatres, whether that was playing parts or being in ensembles in the musicals or working with as backstage crew. I just became obsessed with theatre and acting and then that’s all I did, all I could be about, throughout high school. I had friends in high school and I would do the high school plays and stuff but I spent all of my social time at these theatres – I had a handful of friends at high school that I connected with but I wasn’t quite as involved – I was always thinking about theatre outside of school.

PC: You were always going to be an actor it seems, weren’t you?

JG: Yeah I thought I wanted to be an actor when I was in the barn playing Dorothy at 4 or 5 years old but then, once that 8th grade play happened, and I started meeting people in the community that were from New York who made their lives being actors, that’s when I really became keen on the idea of pursuing that.

PC: What was it that drew you? I mean: are you sort of the sort of person that likes to be in the spotlight, did you like the confidence it gave you or the closeness you feel with people when you are in a play? I was an amateur stagehand at one point and there was always a feeling of being lost after a play run finished.

JG: For me, the desire to act always comes from a place of play, imagination and daydreaming and play, and all of that is really where that joy comes from, and it just has really always turned me on. You know everybody acts for different reasons: people act from a place of pain, expression – a sort of exorcism of that – but for me it’s always come from a very joyful place and a sort of place of imagination. I think there was a part of me… you know I was not out of the closet when I was in high school and I wasn’t living fully a gay life until I was 19 – that was the first time I was ever with anyone sexually and then I didn’t come out of the closet until I was 23 – so I also think there was an element of escapism in acting that probably helped me express myself when I was sort of not expressing myself, in retrospect. I think that was there definitely an element of it but even now (even with Mindhunter) I so enjoy playing ‘pretend’.

PC: I have spoken to a lot of actors who have said that acting is an escape for them: whether that’s from a terrible childhood or whose parents have said, ‘Acting is the last thing we want you to do.’

JG: My parents actually – when I was thinking of going to college and wanting to major in theatre – they encouraged me to not major in theatre, but to move to New York instead and just pursue acting. They said, ‘You know you love it and you have so much experience in community theatre and whatever, why not just go to New York instead of paying 40 thousand dollars to train in acting?’

PC: Yes. I interviewed an actor who has been in a couple of Quentin Tarantino productions and Quentin Tarantino said the same thing to him, ‘Don’t bother going to acting classes, just act wherever that may be and watch two films everyday.’ That worked out great for him.

JG: For me experience has always been the best learning tool and if you are lucky enough to be able to get experience… I’ve always learnt on the job, that’s always been the best way for me. Jumping in and trying it, and getting to work with different people and different directors and different actors and different musicians – and taking stuff from all of those experiences.

My parents, even though they are not at all in the arts, somehow instinctually knew that, aside from the fact they didn’t want to help me pay for college, (laughs) they really supported me: they knew it’s what I loved. My dad trains and races horses for a living and my mom was a physical education teacher, they centralised on things they were really passionate about. So when I said I wanted to be an actor – even though they didn’t know a lot about acting, the passion that I felt for that – I think they recognised that so they were very supportive in my pursuit of that as a career.

PC: It’s like what Holt [McCallany] said in his interview with me. Obviously his parents were in the business, but he said when he and his brother got to university level his mother said, ‘I will pay for you to study anywhere you want.’ She was that supportive – and of course he ended up in France. Amazing to have that kind of support.

JG: Yes it’s amazing! Holt and I have that in common actually. He was very close with his mother. It’s so funny because we often talk about how we spend all this time in Pittsburgh, when we are acting in Mindhunter, talking to these serial killers. One of the many consistent qualities is that they have all have troubled relationships with – mostly – their mothers, and how he and I have had just the opposite experience.

PC: Yes I know with Holt he couldn’t have been more loved, by the sounds of it. You wonder: would they have turned out differently had they had that love and support? I don’t know how much you have researched serial killers, but does that just apply to men, or is that a factor in female serial killers too?

JG: That’s a great question, most serial killers are men (at least the ones on Mindhunter are) I don’t [know] to be honest if female serial killers have a troubling relationship with their parents. We talk a lot about nature v nurture (that sort of age-old question) how someone naturally dotes when they’re young and then it’s their environment that cultivates the bad behaviour: is it more one than the other? I think it’s still a question people are still trying to answer and it’s one that we explore a lot on the show.

PC: I suppose if the show runs and runs eventually, if not this coming season, it will feature a female serial killer.

PC: So you said earlier about your parents being very into physical education: was there any pressure to do sports? And with your dad: he didn’t expect you or your brother to follow him into the horse business? What does your brother do?

JG: My brother runs a company in Lancaster PA: he is a businessman. We are very different from my parents. My dad actually comes from a long line of dairy farmers: he is the oldest brother of his family and he was meant to take over at the dairy farm; it would have been the appropriate next step for him. He was not passionate about dairy farming and he was not passionate about cows (was not a fan of cows) – cows are incredibly hard work and you have to be really into it. He didn’t want to do that so he found another avenue, through family friends, and discovered a passion for horses. He would not have wanted to demand that my brother and I go into the horse business because he was sort of permitted that freedom, as the oldest son, to get out and to do his own thing. He would have loved it if we were in the horse business. I’m sure that would have been amazing for him to have that happen – it would have been a great experience and a bonding experience for us – but it doesn’t always add up that way. We became close in a different way. He’s still racing the horses. And my mom: the great thing about her being a physical education teacher for my brother and I was, even though we didn’t go into teaching or Phys Ed in any way, she instilled in us passion for exercise and running; we were doing races when we were in elementary school, in 4th grade we were doing the three-mile run or whatever and when we were on vacation. She instilled in us that love of being active. She will be 64 in the Fall and she looks so young because she took care of herself and she exercises.

My brother, even though he is a businessman, gets up every morning and works out. Certainly, as an actor – for example on a show like Mindhunter – you get issued with your costumes at the beginning of the season, then we have 10 months of shooting and I can’t get fat! (Laughs) On the set there’s always food going around and I wake up every morning, religiously, and exercise, and that’s partially because it’s great therapy and it’s great to stay in shape, keep my mind clear or whatever and that’s a lot to do with the fact my mom gave me that habit when I was a kid.

Photo:: Ken Regan/©Focus Features

PC: What about horses? Did you get to ride any? Are you an accomplished horse rider or were they purely for breeding?

JG: No! Well my dad does harness racing so he’s not on their back, he’s behind them. So I’m sure if we had shown any interest at all, my brother and I, I’m sure that he would have gotten a horse we could have ridden around and that would have been really fun. But my mom kind of instilled in us a fear of being around the horses because, in those times that we were playing around on our own, she didn’t want us to go near the horses and get kicked. So we grew up with sort of this fear of horses, funnily enough, and then occasionally on Saturdays we’d have to shovel the horse poo out of the stall – just everything about the horses as a kid was what we would eye roll about. So we were never really around them.

The first time I had to ride a horse was for a movie I did called Taking Woodstock: which was my first film that I shot in 2008. It was directed by Ang Lee and the final shot of the film was me riding up this hill on a horse at sunrise. So I took some horseback riding lessons for a couple of months and I invited my dad to the set on the day that we shot the scene where I rode the horse up the hill and so it was this very proud moment, ‘Look Dad! I know how to ride a horse!’ I’m 33 now but I did get on a horse eventually and he was there to see me do it, which was a special moment.

PC: I’ve been on a horse a couple of times but it was really scary especially when they lower their heads to eat grass, it’s so scary.

JG: Oh totally and they feel your fear. I find them very skittish and very sensitive and you jerk the wrong way and they flip. Each horse has a different personality but as a whole they are very sensitive so the minute you are scared in front of them they are basically all over it, so trying to get ‘Zen’ and breathe…

PC: Are you a sucker for musicals, or theatre in general? In your free time would you go see a straight play or do you think musicals are so much better?

JG: Good question. I mean my heart is always in musicals, because that’s what I started [out] doing, but I was just in New York this week (I had a couple of days off so I went there) [and] I chose to see two straight plays. I love theatre in general. I’m a junkie – a total theatre junkie – pretty much anytime, anywhere, I love live theatre in any form. For me when a musical is great there’s nothing better. To successfully put a musical on and all the elements come together – the choreography, direction, music, orchestra and all of that – it’s just a miracle that a musical ever works (there are so many different elements to it) so when that is all kind of ‘cracking’ and it all comes together, there is nothing more exciting to me than that. I don’t discriminate: I love all live theatre.

PC: What was it like doing the voice-over for the character Kristoff for Frozen? How does that differ from other mediums, since you wouldn’t necessarily feel connected to the other actors like you would in a film or show where you are side by side? I assume they record the voice over segments separately?

JG: The big revelation for me was that doing a Disney film is the same as re-enacting a Disney film when you are a kid in your bedroom, because you are just totally alone in a padded room (‘now you’re in an ice storm’ so you have to pretend ‘Anna’) using your imagination; so it’s harking back to the days of me being in a room alone acting out Peter Pan or Mary Poppins.

PC: I’d never thought of it like that but yes you are right.

JG: I never met any of the other actors: well I’d met them but I never worked with other actors. I didn’t see them throughout the whole process until we were sitting there watching the first screening of the movie together. They cut it all together and that was very surreal to see how… You are really, as a voice actor in those animated films, a small piece of a big picture. There is so much work and so much effort goes into it and how it comes together is really just phenomenal. They videotape you while recording and then try to match your mouth with what the character does, and it’s pretty amazing.

PC: Did you cry when you watched the first screening?

JG: I think I did cry.

PC: You would have to be hard-hearted not to!

JG: My mom and I will still watch. I mean it’s been years (and now we are recording the second one) it still has not sunk in fully yet that I’m in a Disney animated film – very surreal.

PC: What about the technology they use in The Avengers for Ultron? Where they have sensors on the actor’s costume. That would be cool on Frozen.

JG: Motion capture you mean. They don’t use that on Frozen: they have a little video camera in the recording studio, so the animators can sort of reference if there is a gesture or something while you are making a vocal sound. They match the gesture, like if they are saying ‘Wow what was he doing there” they can reference it visually, but they also use their own faces as well. It’s just fascinating to watch the process. We had a session with the animators about where you breathe from and where you sing – what’s happening in your mouth when you’re singing as opposed to talking – to help them animate the singing part.

PC: Returning to family stuff: I read somewhere you have roots in England, Scotland and Germany. I have been burnt before where I’ve referenced something and it turns out there is no truth to it… so have you?

JG: No! Maybe I’m just not aware of it. (Laughs) Years ago we did one of those genetic test things with my family and I think we were West German; I think that’s where most of our DNA was from; I would have to go back and look at it.

PC: How has it changed for you in everyday life since Mindhunter blew up? Can you still ride the subway? Can you still go your doctor’s surgery and go shopping without wearing false glasses, nose and moustache?

JG: It hasn’t changed at all, not even a little bit. Yesterday I was in a coffee shop in Pittsburgh and the girl was saying, ‘Are you in Mindhunter?’ I have a very sort of ordinary white boy look and I don’t really have distinctive features that stand out in a crowd, so it’s great.

PC: I suppose, say someone like Johnny Depp, you might recognise straight away.

JG: Right. When I was in high school and I came to New York I saw Kristen Chenoweth. She is a famous musical theatre actress and she’s [done] some TV stuff – she is barely 5ft tall, blonde, just like this petite, little blonde girl, when she walks around she looks like she has a spotlight on her, just the way that she looks. I remember seeing her in Times Square, I went, ‘Oh my God! That’s Kristen Chenoweth!’ and went over to her and spoke to her and got her autograph. I don’t have that quality.

PC: I’ve asked that question before and other actors have said there are just so many famous people wandering around New York at any given time that it’s not the same like if you came to Edinburgh, you would be swamped. One actor told me he saw Bruce Springsteen in Manhattan and he was being a complete fan boy about him but he didn’t stop him and ask for his autograph even though he was dying to. Maybe people just leave you alone.

JG: Yeah, maybe.

PC: I always like to ask what life lessons has a person taken from their parents or grandparents. When the time comes, hopefully years and years away, when you look back and say, ‘Oh I remember this about my dad or this is why I’m this kind of person.’ You are obviously a nice person, a gentleman: has that rubbed off on you from your parents?

JG: The biggest thing would probably be discipline and the appreciation and sort of joy that you get from working hard: both my grandparents worked really hard; my parents worked really hard. When I was at that formative age 9-14, I would mow my grandmother’s lawn and I’d worked for my dad on his horse farm – they were always forcing us to do stuff we didn’t want to do. We were sort of like ‘ugh’ through all of those years when you are going through puberty and being forced to do manual labour. Then coming out of the other end of it and understanding the value of it and the sort of joy that you get from working hard and, when it’s over, feeling pride in what you achieved and looking forward to doing it again. That’s something my parents have that I know they took effort to instil into my brother, and I don’t know if that quality comes naturally or not in people, but it was definitely kind of forced upon us. Now it might show itself as being as simple as learning all your lines before you come to set, or being really prepared for an audition: just having that respect for yourself and respect for the people who you are working with so are prepared in doing the work. Doing the ‘math homework’ version of your job is something that my parents instilled in me when I was a kid, that I take with me. I remember my mom always saying, ‘It’s important to always make a good first impression.’ I remember ‘Have respect for people who are older than you’ was a golden rule – we talked a lot about that when I was a kid. But the biggest thing was probably the value of working hard.

PC: That is probably reflected in the fact that you didn’t want to go to university or whatever and just wanted to get in there, hands on, get your hands dirty and do the work.

JG: Yes, they instilled in me that desire to learn and work. From an early age I was such a sponge. Once I got to high school age, and was meeting those people from New York who were working in my hometown, I was just asking questions, then I was going to New York in my senior year of high school and then I finally moved to New York when I was 19 – taking classes and waiting tables. Getting the understanding: you get out what you put in; if you work really hard and put a lot in, that work takes you somewhere. Sometimes it doesn’t always take you where you expect it to go but it definitely helps.

I just read this really great book called The Creative Habit, by the choreographer Twyla Tharp, and she talks about her creative process and other people’s creative processes – other famous artists and how they do their work. She just really drives home the point that, no matter how lucky and brilliant someone is initially (and perhaps there is an artist who at one point, you know, just got lucky, they basically sneezed and became famous through something), she talked about if you want to have a long career, anyone that is considered an expert or quote ‘genius’ – brilliant at what they do – nine times out of ten they have a very intense work ethic and they work really hard at what they do. It’s a myth that some people are just brilliant and can do whatever they want. When you look at all the people who have had success, a lot of it is hard work, and I feel grateful that my parents have instilled that quality into me at a young age.

PC: Holt said about you, in his interview with me, that you always turned up on set with your lines learned – that was one of the things he admired about you.

JG: Well he’s the same way. I will never forget when we rehearsed our first scene (the first scene we shot together) it was where we were teaching at road school and we were talking. He was talking about motives and stuff and for the first rehearsal we were both off-book. We were set up ready to play and I’d never really met him before – I’d met his mom, we were familiar. But we got there and I went, ‘Wow! Okay, cool. This is going to be fun.’ You never know what your co-stars are going to be like, and he showed up and it was very clear we both had a similar kind of desire to do well. We wanted to come in and we wanted it to be good and we showed up ready to play and we just had so much fun the first season, because we both had this deep desire to do a good job, and to be there for each other, and to make something great. We wanted to fulfil David’s [Fincher] vision: we both have immense respect for him and what he does, and we just wanted to do well together.

PC: It’s a mutual respect you and Holt have. I asked him how he would describe you and he told me you were so ‘infectious’, as in: ‘Always happy, eager to work and a pleasure to work with from day one,’ those were his words. I asked him, if I ever spoke to you, how would you describe him? He replied, ‘Ah, you know, the grumpy one, the guy who arrives on set at 5 a.m. grumpy until I’ve had coffee.’

JG: That’s so not true! We are a very interesting pair because we are very opposite in many ways and sort of like it is in a show, sort of like an ‘Odd Couple’ dynamic between the two of us. But at the same time he makes everybody laugh.

PC: I love his deep, hearty laugh.

JG: Yes, he has that quality I don’t have where he’s always the life of the party, everybody shows up and he’s always telling jokes. He’s always like shooting the shit with the guys on the crew, making everybody laugh and smile. He’s just got this jovial, infectious energy that is just so specifically Holt – honestly I don’t know anybody else who has the energy that he has.

PC: He is so passionate as well when he speaks, you can hear it in his voice.

JG: Totally, totally and he’s incredibly intelligent.

PC: Yes he is, it is like when I watched the interview where he is speaking away in French and you are looking at him in wonder, like: ‘Where the hell did you learn to speak like that?’

JG: Oh my gosh that was a trip! We did this press tour. He’d talked about how he’d gone to school in Paris, he had a flat in Paris… He’d talked about all, but it had never occurred to me that he speaks fluent French! So we were in Paris on this press tour and all of a sudden he whips out this French – I was like: what?

PC: It is written all over your face.

JG: He just is endlessly fascinating and is constantly surprising.

PC: Some French people have told me he actually speaks the language very well, not some pigeon French.

JG: Yes! That’s what we were asking the Netflix people that were based in Paris, that were French – they were saying yes. They were like, ‘You do have an American accent but you speak the language so well.’ He’s just such a character that guy.

PC: I have such a soft spot for him. He goes out of his way to help people. He’s just lovely!

JG: He’s such an old school gentleman – they don’t make them like that anymore. He’s just got class. He would say this and credit it to his mom. She was Midwestern and very well-mannered; she had impeccable manners. She was very humble and very gracious, always thought about other people first. We don’t have that as much anymore: it’s very old-school. He’s like a guy from another time in a lot of ways. His nature and his manners are just very special.

PC: He is so nice with his fans too.

JG: His mom became a famous cabaret singer and she had very personal interaction with her fans. That’s part of the beautiful quality about him.

PC: Is Holt going to be your forever friend?

JG: Oh absolutely! Absolutely! We’ve gone to see a bunch of plays together in New York; we went to Shakespeare in the Park last summer.

PC: Yes, he was saying, ‘I will get Jonathan over when I go to London. He will drag me to all the plays and musicals. We will just spend the whole weekend at the West End.’

JG: Yes. When we were on the press tour in London, we went to go see a play. That surprises me because Holt doesn’t seem… I mean, even on Mindhunter, in the past he’s done all these action movies, he’s played a lot of cops, he’s played boxers, he plays a lot of meat-heads and so you wouldn’t guess that he’s very cultured, loves cabaret, friends with the writers of Kiss me Kate for example.

PC: Holt knows everyone like Liam Neeson and Clint Eastwood.

JG: I would kind of expect him to know those guys – that makes sense to me because those guys are action type actors, that to me I can understand but, for example, when we went to the memorial service for his mother, he knows Steven Brinberg, who is a cabaret artist famous for doing a Barbra Streisand impression. I was like, ‘How do you know Steven Brinberg?’ It’s just hilarious that he’s very close friends with him. When you know Holt’s body of work in action films you just wouldn’t put those two together.

PC: Yes I watched Holt on the Jimmy Fallon show he was teaching Fallon some boxing moves and he was very ‘New York’ Manhattan-like, very different to how he is. It’s that whole different perception of him, to what comes out of his mouth especially when he speaks French. Most actors I’ve spoken to have been lovely, but there is just something about Holt that is special. Actually all of the Mindhunter cast – and I don’t know if it’s coincidence or if it’s particularly driven that way but – (those we have dealt with so far) I think are really special. They are really supportive of each other. We have remained friends with a core group of them. I don’t know if these people were especially handpicked by David or the casting people with that element of being young and ambitious and kind. I have seen this once before that was in cast and crew members on NBC’s The Blacklist but it’s rare.

JG: Well I think David doesn’t have time for bullshit. He’s not going to waste time. He’s all about the work. He’s all about finding the best way to tell the story and has a hard-working discipline and I think partially intentionally (but maybe subconsciously) finds people that want to work. Not to have this thing lead into the next thing but to have them go work on specifically that job. Which sounds like obviously something everyone would do but. like you said, generally it’s not. I think David, whether it’s intentional or not, ends up surrounding himself with people that are there to work. In the case of Mindhunter, you’re right: it is a very special group of people and that’s partially just that simple fact that everyone is there because they want [to be there], they’re showing up to work and trying to make something that’s really good.

PC: Yes, and they are very supportive of each other’s work too, like when Cotter Smith and Jack Erdie did a play in Pittsburgh together recently, both David and Holt turned up to watch it.

JG: Totally.

PC: Tell me more about working with David Fincher. Obviously his name is on everyone’s lips nowadays and we know his style of directing – we all know he may shoot the same scene 70 times – but there’s much more to him than that. I always like to get information first hand, if I can. What kind of impression has he made on you?

JG: Well it’s just the whole idea, for me at least, [of] having complete faith and trust in someone and knowing that they are going to take you somewhere that is interesting, and working with him is different to working with anyone else. One of the reasons being that you go, ‘Okay, I will just do whatever you want,’ because I so believe in him and in his brain and in his vision, and his point of view, because he’s just proven time and time and time and time again – with all of his films and projects – that he’s one of the most interesting, creative people working today. So just to get the opportunity to be a part of his world is exciting and especially with this TV experience, particularly right now, in this very moment, it’s the first time he’s ever come back to a television show. He directed the first two episodes of House of Cards and he was Creative and Executive Producer on that show, but he never came back to direct it again. He very much had his hand in every episode on the first season of Mindhunter. We weren’t sure if he would come back and do the second season or not, because he has never done that before and now here he is, and we are working on the second season. Just to get that extended time with him and to see how… I guess the thing that is so inspirational about him is that he doesn’t sit back and go, ‘Okay, we know what we are doing. We know who these characters are. Let’s just continue comfortably down the road we were going down before.’

We came back to the second season and obviously some of the sets are the same, and we actually basically know who the characters are, where before we didn’t know what the show was yet – we were still making it. So there’s that element, which is great. But it’s still the same process as it was the first time around: it’s not laid back and comfortable; it’s not pressing the same notes; he’s really trying to move things forward and make things different, evolve it and grow it and change it as it goes along – that’s just an artist that is always searching, always changing and always asking the questions. He’s just always trying to get to a better version of the truth: in the writing, then in the shooting and in the editing, he just never stops working and never stops asking questions, and it’s just so rare to find someone like that.

PC: So how does it work that David Fincher directed the first two episodes and the last two: what happens in-between when he hands the reins over to another director but is obviously still on set?

JG: There’s a bit of a balance: you know he lets them do their thing and they are of course directing in the context of the world he created, so he can’t just hand it over.

PC: It’s not total control for them, he’s leading it?

JG: Yes, he’s set up the vocabulary of the show and the vocabulary of the shot and how the show is made, so they are allowed a certain amount of creative freedom, but in David’s world. In the first season he would occasionally come on set and help us stage certain scenes or certain shots in the morning, then he would leave and let us figure it out from there, or he would let the director set up their shot then give them notes later. He was literally in Pittsburgh for the entire year so his presence was there regardless of if he was on set or not. But then in rehearsals and stuff – because one of the other things about the show is we get a lot of rehearsals, we get to read through all the scenes with the writers before we shoot them – he’s there for all of those.

So we are always talking about the intention of the scene and what the intention will be on the day. He said this great thing on the first season that I’ve really stuck with: that when the writer is asking, ‘Why do we have to bang out every specific word of the scene before we start shooting?’ David talked about how, when you show up on set the crew gets the sides, the actors get the sides, the extras get the sides – everybody gets a copy of the sides – and everyone will have a different interpretation of what these sides mean and how the scene is going to look, so you want the scene to be as specific as possible once it gets into the hands of all those people. So that there is this innate direction of where the scene is going by the specificity of every word, of every line; and really taking the time to craft that out – so everyone getting their hands on those on the day, on set, is very important. Even just the attention to detail in that regard, in the writing and in the rehearsing, affects how the guest directors will then come on and direct the scenes because we spent so much time rehearsing specifically – exactly – what every line, and every word, is intended to express.

PC: Can you say to David Fincher, or the writers, ‘I don’t like this line,’ or, ‘This line isn’t something I feel Ford would say.’ A lot of writers are very precious about their work (and of course you wouldn’t do it just because you could) but would you be able to challenge a line and make a suggestion about what would fit better or is that totally off-limits?

JG: My sort of personal thing is to sit back and let it happen, let the evolution of the writing take its course without me saying… As an actor I find you think, ‘Oh I don’t know if I would say it like that?’ And then you start saying it ‘like that’ and it ends up being a great surprise; ‘I wouldn��t have thought I could sing like that but now this is actually adding a dimension I wasn’t aware of.’ So my tactics, certainly in this Mindhunter experience, is to let the writers write – and just because David is so involved and has the whole thing mapped out in his head, I’m pretty quiet during that part of the process. I just take the tack of: I’m just here to try and make whatever they give me work. That’s my own personal philosophy.

PC: I guess you’d have to struggle with yourself to imagine doing it better than the vision Fincher has in his head.

JG: It’s kind of going back to that thing of working with different people and being inside of different processes. I’ve done shows where they would say ‘Action’ and we would improv for about a minute into the scene and then we would get into the vibe of the scene and then improv out of the scene – and that was really fun, and stuff would come out that was really unexpected and great, and that they would use sometime in the edit or whatever. This process is the complete opposite of that – absolutely no improvisation – everything is planned within an inch of its life and like you said: when you are in the room with a brain like David Fincher’s, I’m just going to let him take the reins. For me at least that’s part of the joy of this process – being submissive to his brain.

PC: I hate asking questions you will have already been asked a 100 times or more but: how did you get the role, basically? I have read how it happened but I like to hear it from the horse’s mouth so to speak.

JG: I met David when I auditioned for The Social Network in 2008 and didn’t get it. Then I was doing Hamilton on Broadway and they sent me six or seven scenes (which are just pages of dialogue) and I put myself on tape in New York on a Monday or Tuesday, and then they responded immediately and had me put myself on tape again on Thursday, and then I flew myself to New York that Monday (it all happened in about a week) and sat with him in his office.

PC: What was that like? Obviously you had met him before but you must have been blown away thinking, ‘I could be the lead on a show that David Fincher is doing!’ Do you have to pinch yourself or do you feel you have earned it?

JG: It’s a total dream. I honestly didn’t believe that it was going to happen because it was too good to be true. Even when we were in rehearsals in LA, I really would go home and think, ‘I’m certain it’s not going to work out,’ and then we are shooting it and I’m thinking, ‘It’s still not…’ I was so excited about it. I just didn’t believe it was real until it came out, actually. It really wasn’t until about half-way through the season of shooting it – when it was clear that it was going forward – [that] I started to go, ‘Okay, this is really happening.’ Every step up until that moment I was too excited to let myself even think that it was real.

Photo by Eric Charbonneau/REX/Shutterstock

PC: Television is such a fickle world as well: you just can’t call what’s going to be a hit and what’s not. Obviously, because it had David Fincher attached to it, there’s going to be some sort of success but it’s not guaranteed.

JG: Totally! You never know what’s going to happen.

PC: I think I read that at the end of a day’s shoot you weren’t thinking, ‘Oh my God! There are all these serial killers going about!’ That, in fact, you were raring to get your teeth into the role you played. Did the things that you found out whilst filming affect you? Like when you are at home eating dinner: did the what’s and why’s cross your mind or did you just go home and switch it off?

JG: I’m not a method actor. The minute I think about what we are talking about is real, I just don’t want to go there, because I think, ‘Wow! These are actual people who actually did these things.’

PC: Who could be living next door to you!

JG: It’s too much to even think about, so that – combined with the fact [that] in the first season I was in almost every scene – I would go home and not even have time to even think what we had just done. I would be memorizing my lines for the next day, trying to keep up and not lose myself as far as the preparation for the work goes; there’s just so much work to do, it didn’t linger with me that way. It wasn’t like I had reflective time to sit and think ‘wow these people’… I was like: ‘Okay, what are my lines for tomorrow?’ It was more about the logistics of problem solving and telling the story than it was sitting and meditating on the reality of what went down.

PC: What about when filming finished? I know some of the cast have explored serial killers further and like Holt saying he wants to interview a serial killer (he told me that he had written to one).

JG: He wanted to go and talk with David Berkowitz.

PC: Yeah and Anna Torv said she had read up a lot about it after filming finished.

JG: There is not a part of me that wants to meet David Berkowitz: just the idea of it makes me feel scared and weird – and what would I say?

PC: And what he would say? Yikes, I agree it would be really scary. It would be too real, not pretend anymore.

JG: Too real! On this show we are trying to tell the story as respectfully and accurately as possible and then I just don’t want to think about it.

PC: Everybody raves about how outstanding Cameron Britton was as Ed Kemper and rightly so: apart from him, is there anyone in particular who stood out for you or just overall whose performance was great?

JG: Good question. In my audition scenes they were with the Kemper, Brudos [Happy Anderson] and Richard Speck [Jack Erdie] and what I loved is that they were all different, and this show isn’t just serial killer of the week. You get the information from the serial killers and you get a little window into their lives, but then you also see the evolution of the FBI agents and how they get savvier and how they put things together, and the psychology of getting somebody to open up in a different way – so for the Brudos thing, the idea of the shoe. And even when Holden goes back and interviews Brudos and they talk in the third person about his killings – that I found really chilling – what a creepy, strange way. It almost makes it feel even scarier to hear him talking about it. When he’s talking to me he’s sort of deflecting, deflecting, deflecting and then how he talks in the third person – I found that really scary.

PC: When Kemper hugged Holden and you had that panic attack, I could really feel it in my chest, like, ‘Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!’ Imagine that actually happening! I’d probably just die of fright, on the spot. You just don’t know what his next move could be.

JG: Yeah it’s scary and I think that the show does that really well: where you feel a sense of safety – because you’re in this jail it feels like a contained environment and they seem so docile – and all of a sudden you realise how dangerous they are and that feeling kind of comes in and out through the course of an interview; all the interviews are that way. I love that quality of the story, it’s very complicated. It’s not like you go, ‘Oh my God!’ It’s like, ‘Okay, that seems like a normal question.’

PC: What do you think of how your character evolved from, I think you said someone who was possibly a virgin, impeccably dressed, boy next door, to how he became near the end of the season and how he will be in season 2? How he was affected by the sexual nature of the killings: in that he grew up more or his eyes were opened more?

JG: Yes, I think so – certainly there’s an element – and John Douglas (who the character is based on) talks a lot about the heaviness and the horror and the depravity and the sadness of the victims’ experience. You know he had a complete mental breakdown in dealing with the stuff on a daily basis and being so all consumed by it. There’s that aspect of the evolution of the character that I think is really interesting, and that’s reflected in the scene where his girlfriend puts on the shoe, and it’s the first time you realise that work is kind of coming home with him and he starts to lose it a little bit. And then, obviously, at the end when he runs literally into the arms of Ed Kemper and is sort of lost.

But the other kind of evolution I find really interesting in the character (maybe the most surprising) is that idea of narcissism and the idea of taking credit for creating something and I think it’s such a human, and American, and embarrassing quality of: ‘I made this. I’m taking credit for this. I started this.’ I say at one point to Wendy, in the one scene, and seeing how that sweetly intentioned, buttoned-up kid, gets a little full of himself, and watching that quality bubble to the surface of Holden I think is really surprising . That quality of narcissism coming to the surface and really loving the fact that he is such a, quote, ‘revolutionary character’ with revolutionary ideas. One of the things that David always talks about doing, that he loves, is that he’s only interested in an argument on-screen where both characters are right and Holden has that scene where he walks out and looks at the OPR [the FBI Office of Professional Responsibility] and says, ‘The only mistake I ever made was doubting myself.’ Holden is never wrong in his actions and in his ideas but the way it sort of transforms him is a very discerning and a little scary: that he’s seemingly so innocent [yet] becomes so monstrous and egotistical.

PC: It will be interesting to see where it goes and how far it will go next season.

JG: Exactly. I love playing that because it’s so rare that you get to play someone that is kind of so innocent, that takes such a journey like that by the end of the season.

PC: I was looking through some fan forums and these are some descriptions that written about you… Someone asks: ‘What do you think about Jonathan Groff?’ Someone else replies: ‘It’s impossible to list just one – he’s an incredible package, not just his body and perfect bone structure, his seductive eyes, playful and innocent. Lips that make the most adorable smile…’ Need I go on? My point is, I wanted to ask: what you see when you look in the mirror?

JG: Oh my God! What do I think when I look in the mirror?

PC: Yes, do you think, ‘Oh today I look dreadful. I have a spot’? Or do you think, ‘Yep, yep you look pretty good today son’?

JG: The latest thing is… well first of all I don’t love looking in the mirror (it’s not my favourite thing). The other day I had to look in the mirror in a scene that we were doing – and I really don’t like looking in the mirror when I’m playing Holden, because it makes me laugh. Looking in the mirror while acting just makes me feel crazy. Some actors love to watch back on the little monitor screens, like, ‘Okay let me see that back, see how it looks.’ That just makes me feel so self-conscious. I would so much just rather watch it all after it’s been cut and made up. I don’t love watching myself in the process. The main thing that I found when I looked the mirror was – because I had a couple of days off and I went to New York – I’m 33 and I’ve never had facial hair and now I’m getting a beard; I am actually able to grow facial hair. That has been the latest revelation looking in the mirror I’m like: Oh my God!! Basically I can go maybe a week and a half and have a normal person’s 5 o’clock shadow, but now it’s been a couple of days of not shaving and I’m starting to grow facial hair.

PC: Wow! You will be able to have one of those full beards that the hipsters have.

JG: Yes and I’m like: I’m officially getting older; I’m starting to grow facial hair; I’m starting to feel more like a man. (Laughs)

PC: I often get messages from people who have been grateful that someone I’ve interviewed has helped them through something by talking about their own experiences, whether it be depression, grief or something else. I know you had a scare with skin cancer and wondered if you would like to talk about that.

JG: Yes of course. Skin cancer for me was so undramatic, in that I just booked for a physical check-up and I’d never gotten my moles checked, so the doctor recommended I did. They saw a mole that looked weird and they cut it out and then they saw that it had like a melanoma cancer in it. The great thing is to get it out before it spreads, have it cut out and then there’s nothing else to it. So before it had spread, they just cut it out and now I make sure I’m wearing sunscreen every time I go in the sun and I get my moles checked once a year. I wasn’t in the hospital; I didn’t have to go through any treatment; I just have this scar on my chest from where I had it removed. It didn’t feel life-threatening or scary in any way when it happened.

PC: There is a fan debate about how you got the scar on your chest and equally the scar on your bicep: that you allegedly got from some woman’s stiletto or something. Is that true?

JG: That is true. I had a light scar… Let me see if it is still there. I had a light scar there from when I was doing “Bohemian Rhapsody” in Glee and I was wearing a T-shirt and we were doing the run through. We were just rehearsing it and the stiletto scraped my arm down my bicep – it was pretty hilarious. I had a scar there definitely for a couple of weeks, then it was a light scar and now I think it’s completely gone.

PC: Shows you how dedicated your fans are that they are discussing your scars online in a forum.

JG: That’s impressive that they know so much.

PC: Your meaty thighs are another whole thread!

JG: That’s amazing!

PC: Which word do you find yourself using more than others and do you have a favourite word?

JG: I’m trying to stop saying ‘like’ and I’m trying to stop saying ‘totally’. I’ve had lots of friends in my life who say I say ‘totally’ a lot, so that’s definitely a most used word that I’m trying not to say. The other thing I’m trying not to say is: ‘That’s so interesting’. I say that a lot. And I’m trying to not go up at the end of my sentence per David Fincher: when you talk like this and you end a statement like it’s a question. I’m trying to stop doing that.

PC: You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself! Do you have a favourite word?

JG: I’d say my favourite word is ‘yes’.

PC: How would you spend your perfect day?

JG: It would depend what I’m doing at the time… You know what my perfect day is? It’s waking up, doing some form of exercise – be it yoga or spin class or going for a run. Then it would be maybe having breakfast: making it alone with the radio playing. Then hopping on my bike – this is all taking place in New York by the way. Go on a bike ride to Central Park and then meeting my friends in Central Park at Sheep’s Meadow. Eating and hanging out for a while there.

PC: What’s Sheep’s Meadow?

JG: Sheep’s Meadow is a big sort of grassy area in Central Park. Then maybe go over to a restaurant… let’s see… where would I go? I would go to some restaurant on the Upper West Side, near Central Park, and have a late afternoon lunch with my friends.

PC: I need more details: a meat, fish or cheese dish?

JG: I would go to The Smith and have steak salad and a glass of rosé then I would go back home to my apartment; I would take a nap. Then I would hop in the shower. I would get back on my bike ride up to Midtown and I would perform in a Broadway Musical. Then I would go with my cast members again to some bar afterwards – where I would have a whiskey – and then I would hop back on my bike and ride home. Perfect day!

PC: Do you ride your bike a lot to get round New York?

JG: Yes that’s how I get around. I love it. When I was there two days ago I rode my bike everywhere.

PC: That’s how people don’t recognise you because you are wearing a bike hat: do you wear a hat?

JG: Yes of course.

PC: What could you not live without?

JG: Music!

PC: That takes us nicely to the next set of questions…

What was the first record you ever bought or the first download you ever downloaded?

JG: The first I ever bought would be Brittany Spears’ “Hit Me Baby One More Time” on CD – it was great.

PC: Is there a song that takes you back to a special time in your life?

JG: I remember listening to that song “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None The Richer when I was in 8th grade doing the 8th grade play. It was in the movie She’s All That and I remember I had to kiss my friend Emily in that play and I just remember the anxiety of having to kiss her and that song being on the radio.

PC: How old were you?

JG: 12 years old.

PC: Aww… was that your first kiss? Did it all go fine?

JG: Yes it was fine.

PC: Do you have a song that you must blast out when it comes on?

JG: Pretty much anything Beyoncé, but especially “Grown Woman”.

PC: Is there a movie soundtrack that you particularly love?

JG: When I was in 2nd grade I used to obsessively listen to the soundtrack Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, with Kevin Costner.

PC: With the Bryan Adams’ song that was in the charts for months?

JG: Yeah exactly. That one.

PC: What about now: what movie soundtrack would you put on?

JG: I love David O. Russell films and I’ve always loved the music in his films so I bought the Silver Linings Playbooksoundtrack; I bought the soundtrack for Joy. I just love the music in his films so definitely one of those two.

PC: Apart from musicals, is there a specific genre you favour or do you just love music generally?

JG: I found out that at Beyoncé’s Coachella concert (which I’ve now watched about 150 times) when she has this long 5-minute intro and it starts with a drum roll, and then this sort of like New Orleans jazz music playing in the background – I learnt that the tune is from this band called The Rebirth Brass Band so I’ve been listening to a lot of their music. I’ve been listening to a lot of New Orleans Jazz. I will listen to anything though.

PC: What about live music? Do you go to many live gigs?

JG: I wish I went to more. I don’t go to a lot of live gigs and every time I go to one I always think I wish I watched more live music. That was even the case with the last one I went to, I can’t even think off the top of my head who that was. The best one was definitely going to the Formation Tour [Beyoncé].

PC: Obviously you are a wonderful dancer. Are you always up first on the dance floor – or do you take a bit of persuading?

JG: It depends on my mood. Last time I was dancing was at the opening of Frozen on Broadway and I was definitely the first person on the dance floor.

PC: So you are on a road trip with only a dog for company, not a goat and not a horse: what’s on your playlist?

JG: I would drive all the time – I love driving. Beyoncé, Frank Ocean – let me just look at my phone – Bobby Darin (I’ve been listening to a lot of his), the Black Panther album, Alesia Keyes, The Carpenters, The Velvet Underground, Lou Reed , Kendrick Lamar, Barbara Streisand, Chance the Rapper, Lolo (my friend Lauren Pritchard from Spring Awakening), Sara Bareilles, Jackson 5, Elton John, Simon & Garfunkel, The Beatles, Amy Winehouse and Billy Joel.

PC: What does music mean to you?

JG: It’s like the reflection of every joy, sadness, confusion. Music is like life to me: there just a reflection in absolutely everything. I love it!

#jonathan groff #mindhunter #interview

[lost-in-hyrule-field]

Crazed Theory Time

So, I’m really into timeline theory (and have been for ages), and so I’ve got some thoughts on the timeline placement of BOTW, if anyone’s interested in reading.

I know that most dominant theories I’ve read place it somewhere after twilight princess, because of that line that Zelda says, but I’m pretty sure that BOTW takes place in the fallen hero timeline after Zelda 1 and The Adventures of Link.

I’ve got a lot of reasons for thinking this, so hang on to your shields kids. 

The first is just the general spirit of the game. I know that sounds vague, but I really feel like this game is the spiritual successor to the first two Zelda games. It contains a lot of elements from those games, which I’ll go into later. But it also captures that sense of adventure and a massive world out there to be explored at your leisure that the first two games tried in particular to capture. There’s that amazing open world with no real exposition of direction to get you started off. There’s that mysterious old man at the beginning. There’s also the fact that they used concept art from Zelda 1 in BOTW.    

                                                                                 Duelling Peaks anyone? 

The Hyrule of BOTW feels to me like the Hyrule they imagined for the original games but were unable to realise. It’s the Hyrule of Zelda 1 and 2, and so it’s the Hyrule of the decline timeline.  

Also, according to Zeldapedia the original Zelda was supposed to have Link travel through time between a medieval world and a futuristic one, and he was supposed to collect microchips. That had to be scrapped because of system limitations, but the time travel idea obviously got reused, and the microchip collection became the triforce shards. I don’t know about you guys, but I can really see the influence of that original idea on the Sheikah technology. 

That’s it for the spirit of the games, what about actual in game evidence? 

Lets start with the slightly more circumstantial evidence.

For one thing, in Zelda 2, in order to get the triforce from a mysterious old man, Link must fight his own shadow (which is the first appearance of Dark Link). While this connection is slightly oblique, it is highly reminiscent of the system of trials in BOTW.  

Furthermore, there’s clear reference to a religion centred around the golden goddesses in the other timelines. There isn’t that in the decline timeline, so it makes sense that they were all worshiping Hylia and that just never came up in the games. Yes, I know there’s vague references to ‘gods’ (ie Triforce of the Gods, the Japanese title for ALttP). I know that this could be chocked up to Nintendo of America’s strict policy back in the day of leaving religious iconography out of their games, but let me have this. “BUT,” I hear you cry, “The oracle games feature Nayru, Din, and Farore as the oracles and they take place in the decline timeline.” Well, it seems to me like they’re not goddesses in those games. I suspect that even a sorceress of Veran’s power would be hard pressed to possess a proper goddess. And I don’t think they’d particularly need Link’s help. So they’re not actual goddesses, but they’re named after them. I can’t speak to Japanese culture, and I know for sure that this isn’t universal, but (at least in many Western cultures) it’s highly atypical to name a kid after a deity that’s being actively worshiped (yes I know Jesus is a typical Spanish name-- I said many). So I don’t think that the three golden goddesses are being actively worshiped in the decline timeline. This is on par with BOTW, where Hylia is the main deity, and though the spirits of Courage, Wisdom, and Power are still revered, they’re not the main deal. 

Now onto the (slightly) more concrete evidence.

Lynels and Hinox have only appeared in games in the decline timeline, up till maybe this point.  

Also, the decline timeline is the only other time we see someone placed in some sort of extended cryo-sleep, like Link is in BOTW. And that’s the ‘first’ Zelda from Zelda 2. “WAIT A HYLIA DARNED SECOND!” I hear you all shout, “Zelda the first was placed into a deep sleep by a wizard and she could only be awoken by the power of the triforce!”  Well my friends, if you told a medieval person about an iPad, I imagine they’d assume it was magic. So what if, just maybe Zelda the first was placed into the shrine of resurrection, and her brother blamed the sheikah technology for the whole thing, and so the tragedy of Zelda 1 was the event that turned the people of Hyrule against the Sheikah and their technology and spawned the Yiga clan. And then as the story was passed down the generations people forgot the advanced technology and so the teleportation iPads and giant stone beasts and eternal slumbers became just-- magic. Also remember, we’re told the story of Zelda 1 by Impa, so she’s maybe not necessarily the most reliable narrator ever, especially if she was potentially trying to protect her Sheikah brethren. Also, the light at the begining of BOTW suggests to me that it’s Zelda’s power (AKA the triforce) that wakes Link up, and it’s likewise the completed triforce that wakes up Zelda 1. Coincidence? Probably. I don’t know. 

Speaking of the triforce, the decline timeline is the only timeline after the split that we see the royal family have and use the completed triforce like Zelda does in BOTW. Link doesn’t have the Triforce of courage like he does in a number of the other timelines-- Zelda’s got the whole thing in this one. 

Also speaking of Impa, she really only shows up in the decline timeline as well. I know there’s Impaz in TP, but it’s not the same as Impa. Also, she’s only ever been shown to be a crusty old lady in the decline timeline (and SS, I know, but I’m talking post-timeline split, since we know BOTW is post Oot).  

Also speaking of the Yiga clan, they’re always out for Link’s blood, and they plan to resurrect Ganon. In Zelda 2, Link is told that Ganon’s minions are out for his blood so they can sprinkle it on Ganon’s ashes to resurrect him. Sound familiar? 

Also speaking of the plot to resurrect Ganon, that shows up fairly frequently in the decline timeline -- ALttP, ALbW (sort of), the oracle games, Zelda 2, you can argue that the Ganon in Zelda 1 was resurrected before the game starts. However, stopping the resurrection of Ganon isn’t a major theme in the games in any of the other timeline branches. Furthermore, when Ganon shows up in any other timeline, he starts out as a human and then will sometimes transform into beast Ganon. But in the decline timeline games, he starts out as beast Ganon, getting more bestial as the games progress. Almost as though each time he’s literally resurrected (not reborn or fetched out of an alternate dimension) he looses a little bits of his original humanity, until we end up at pig miasma Ganon in BOTW.       

Also, there’s a maze island in the north east of the map in Zelda 2, as there is in BOTW.  Even though they’re of drastically different sizes...

Also, those weird trees in the lost wood look like the first dungeon from Zelda 1.

“What about the Rito?” I assume you’re asking. “They only show up in WW, which is in the adult timeline!” Well, I have a whole lot to say about that, but I feel like this post is already too long, so let me know if you want to hear about that, and I’ll make a separate post about my theories on those guys.

#legend of zelda #breath of the wild #zelda theory #timeline theory #botw

[attract-mode-collective]

Scorpion Vs. Elon Musk’s Mom: FIGHT

Yes, that is indeed Elon Musk’s mother up there. And no, I do not have a bigger sized version of the pic. Guess we could always ask captain-price-official if one does exist.

Or perhaps make your own? Here’s Elon’s mum by herself (and in higher res)...

And with that, it’s time to see what else I tweeted during the first half of March! So, sticking with fighting games: which Street Fighter character does lighting better? Ryu, via the animated movie (via settei)...

… Or Bison, via the live action flick (via toghomevideo)...

I absolutely love win quotes from rom hacks (via bison2winquote)...

I have a massive backlog of games, yet Tekken 7 just shot straight to the top of the list, thanks to the knowledge that you can accurately recreate Dynamite Headdy characters (via mysterious0bob)...

This Hatsune Miku X Space Channel 5 figure is v. nice (via nendoroidoftheday)...

A friendly reminder to everyone that A. I'm a massive fan of Seaman & B. my birthday is about a month away (via nutastic)...

This scene at the beach with a Figma of Link, from A Link Between Worlds, feels more like Link's Awakening than anything else (via vyntic)...

Toys and models are no longer just for reenacting memorable in-game moments, they can also reproduce famous IRL events that surrounded the games themselves (via 8bitcentral)...

So what's the going rate for ET for the Atari 2600 that was supposedly dug up in for that so-called documentary, Atari: Game Over? Which I recently re-watched and still can't believe people think is real. At any rate, am assuming the autograph from Howard Scott Warshaw gives it some actual value (via it8bit)...

And what's the going rate for Chinese Famiclone karaoke carts, primarily one with Jackie Chan on the label. Am also wondering if it's cuz his songs are included... you are aware of his successful career in music as well, right? (via ulan-bator)...

Been struggling to come up with a zinger for the past 10 minutes, but ain't nuthin gonna beat "Welcome to the Velvet Room y'all!" (via jatayu)...

To be filed under: it's funny cuz it's true (via doctorbutler)...

So the weather has been awful around these parts, lots of rain & snow, which gets in the way of imagining a giant tetromino in the sky (via uvula.jp)...

When playing Super Mario Galaxy 2, please keep in mind that somewhere out there, despite being out of view, is the ghost of Luigi floating through vast stretches of empty space, with zero destination or purpose (via suppermariobroth)...

Speaking of Luigi, and Supper Mario Broth; they’ve taken the adventures he talks about in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door and illustrated them in the form of a comic that closely adheres to the style of the game...

Also a friendly reminder of that rift between Mario & Luigi for a few years (they'd eventually make up & resume doing games together, as everyone knows) after Mario discovered his brother being all friendly with the enemy in Super Mario World (via peazy86)...

Yet another obscure Mario factoid: the move he uses to defeat Bowser in Super Mario 64 originates from an old furikake commercial that predates the game by about a decade (via suppermariobroth)...

Yet another random gif of Mario from the 80s, this one from a video guide from Super Mario Bros; I miss the days in which his look was not yet standardized (via suppermariobroth)...

And here we have a completely unlicensed Dr. Mario, unless Nintendo gave him the OK to brush up on his doctoring skills by assuming an alias at a family clinic in Houston TX (via suppermariobroth)...

It's funny how, when it comes to obscure Mario games, everyone brings up Mario Is Missing or Hotel Mario, but what about Super Mario Bros. & Friends: When I Grow Up? (via kazucrash)...

Mario gets his own breakfast cereal.

Luigi? Booze. (via @carolynmichelle)

A question that I posed on MAR10Day (via retrogamerblog)...

It's not Super Mario Bros, but simply…. Bros (via therubberfruit)...

I've never wanted something "bootleg" to be official as much as as this Dark Souls fan art. And if the actual game somehow looked like this, that would be... gladly welcomed (via gamefreaksnz)

Oh God, Nier is amazing and all, but I would SO be down for a yelling & screaming match with Yoko Taro on this point (via @Avisch_)...

Behold my fave Twitter thread in recent memory: "You see, that was taken from Africa, but it belonged to the Keyblade Masters. Imma take it off your hands for ya."

"Nah, It was taken by British soldiers in Africa but it's actually from Gaia. A sword far heavier than any sword has rights to be, yet a true 1st Class will wield it with ease. Don't trip, I'm gonna take it off your hands for you."

"Nah, It was taken by British soldiers in Africa but it's actually from Hyrule. Originally crafted by the goddess Hylia herself. Only a true hero that is pure of heart and strong of body is capable of wielding the sacred blade. Don't trip, I'm gonna take it off your hands for you."

Naturally the star of Home Alone 1 & Home Alone 2 has both a NES Classic and Famicom Mini, like all Hollywood bigwigs (via @SimonParkin)...

While discussing Ready Player One with a colleague, was reminded of the dude who was so inspired by the book that he turned his apartment into an arcade (and then his fiancé broke up with him; via nydailynews.com)...

Recently there was some kind of event at Sega HQ, I think? Details are basically nonexistent due to the language barrier, but far as I can gather, 16 super fans were invited to come by & party (via @SEGA_OFFICIAL)...

... If you check out #セガ公式アカウントオフ会 you'll see numerous pics from the get-together, though the one thing that stands out is the assortment of Sega hardware (via @KK__Cy)...

... MIA, cuz no variants were on display, is my fave alt ver. of the Mega Drive: the Wondermega. But @yu100s took one of his own… with the ugly ass US Sonic 1 NOT FOR RESALE cart inserted, Jesus fucking Christ...

The Sega logo in katakana looks pretty hawt (via @Exciteless)...

... Yet the Sega logo in Arabic which is official, is even hawter (via boingboing.net)...

Please enjoy your daily recommended dosage of an erotic hospital-management sim (via @topherflorence)...

NCSX makes the fidget spinner comparison, though the fidget cube seems a bit more appropriate; behold the fidget game controller...

Toy Fair recently took place, and naturally I took tons of pictures. You can find all of them on my personal Instagram, though a few are worth re-posting here. Like the latest in NECA's line of classic movie characters, as they appeared in video game adaptations...

Though in the case of their take on the Alien vs. Predator arcade game, they even included Capcom's original characters...

Unpainted, pre-production figures from Reflection's upcoming Ghost 'N Goblins line, sporting the oh-so popular Kenner-eqsue retro look...

Pint-sized arcade cabs, available this fall for $400. They’ll come unassembled, though dead simple to put together; the construction of the assembled mini cab was surprisingly sturdy, plus the screen wasn't bad (contrary to the picture that my iPhone's camera paints). Though the controls were shit; no word on whether the parts can be swapped or not...

Was delighted to not not only see Cuphead merch at Toy Fair, but more than just one instance (though this was the only time I was allowed to take a picture)...

Came across a producer of infant goods that had a selection of Super Mario baby bibs...

I asked the rep if this was their first foray into video games and the answer was "Yes." And when asked who's been mostly buying them, was told "Video game collectors, who don't even have children… it's so bizarre!!!"

Sticking with bibs, here's a set that tied to Dragon Quest (via miki800.com)...

... I asked on Twitter what they said and @alexfkraus was kind enough to provide translations, here and here.

Was so inspired by @MinusWorld listing which characters he'd like to see in the next Super Smash Bros that I decided to cite a few of my own:

- Mona from WarioWare - Nester from Nintendo Power’s Howard & Nester comics - Link from that Japanese A Link To The Past commercial - A deck of Hanafuda cards

... BTW, had no idea Ollie also mentioned a Hanafuda; I only saw his initial four, initially! Anyhow, my second round of choices:

- Ashley from Another Code - The "who are you running from?" guy in the Game Boy Camera - Lucas from The Wizard - The 4WD from Stunt Race FX (since Fighters Megamix with the Daytona USA 2 car clearly ain't ever happening)

I alas forgot to include BoxBoy, much like how I got these Uniqlo shirts when they were on sale last year (via minusworld.co.uk)...

Here we have my fave reaction on Tumblr to the Nintendo Direct with the Smash 5 reveal, if only for the punchline (via mendelpalace)...

And here we have my fave reaction on Twitter (via @redford)...

This one is also great because wrestling (via @SteveYurko)...

Speaking of wrestling, remember that time Tazz, while commentating for Smackdown, was also playing a game of Final Fantasy X-2… or so he thought? (via defjamvendetta)

"hey quick question whoever's developing the wwe games now: what the fuck"

"It helps him eat small fish"

"better question: why isn't this an option in every game ever"

"FAIR POINT" (via snoozlebee)

Whereas most publishers in Japan, during the 80s & 90s, had festivals (or carnivals) centered around shmups, Asmik's was based on women's wrestling (via oldgamemags)...

It's not for a video game, though the illustration is by someone who has been involved in a few; it's by Satoshi Yoshioka, of Snatcher and Policenauts fame (via videogamesdensetsu)...

It's not for a video game that actually exists, but is instead a completely fictional instructional manual, one that makes you wish it was real (via tomeccles)...

Just when you think you've seen every ultra, wacky & obscure video game box art there is to see out there (via @CoolBoxArt)...

I have a serious soft sport for the usage of video game imagery among early 80s musicians (via siryl)...

... What the final product looks like BTW/FYI...

A. so there's a VR version of Fruit Ninja, did not know that, & B. if you like watching people play it (for whatever reason), yet wish you could actually see a person swinging a sword and not just some abstract swiping motions… here ya go (via prostheticknowledge)...

Playing games in VR is so 2017… Handling your collection of games in VR? Now THAT is very 2018 (via mendelpalace)...

Lots of friends are playing the new DBZ fighting game, though I'll give it a shot once it hits the arcades and is also in a cab like this (via @Fotosdecomics)...

I absolutely need to get my hands on this S.H. Figuarts Shinya Arino (via tinycartridge)...

Available right now, some Altered Beast, Bare Knuckles, and Rent-a-Hero resin kits (via miki800.com)...

Cursed? More like blessed amirite (via @Pretzel_Pup)...

I know Yoji Shinkawa is best buds with Hideo Kojima, but would he be open to doing another gig at Konami? Cuz him art directing a reboot of Twin Bee would kinda be the best (via @SESKOU)...

There's money on the table with this Metroid X Pepsi mash-up, am confident of this (via ryangilleece)...

Cuz even someone like Samus Aran needs a good stretch every once in a while (via jon-bliss)...

And this third piece of Metroid fan art in a row is very much related to Metroid 3, aka Super Metroid (even though it technically depicts the ending to Metroid 2; via mmillus)...

Awakening indeed (via brookietf)...

For those who have asked, yes, I have seen the hack that connects the Switch to an itty-bitty black & white TV...

Though I'm only really interested in tiny b&w CRT TVs if I can play Duck Hunt on them (via arcade-crusade)...

I not only dig teeny-tiny displays for light gun games, but also for driving games as well (perhaps some of you might remember the following from this)...

Back to tube displays; seeing Zelda on a CRT also reminded me of how Dark Souls look on a CRT, aka CRT Souls or 480i Souls (which again I'm hoping regular readers of the blog remember, especially since the original post has fallen victim to a Tumblr bug)...

"while playing king's field just now i died in the magic cave of fire and when i warped back there were beautiful graphical glitches everywhere" (via mendelpalace)...

Some landscapes, filled with beauty and mystery and terror, are accidental (see: the graphical glitches from before)… whereas others are completely deliberate, as in the case of Atlantia (via obscurevideogames)...

Once again, I REALLY need to figure out a way to play some PC88 games (via obscurevideogames)...

Here we have a semi-common Space Invaders sighting for the time, in an episode of Battle Fever J, one of the earliest Super Sentai shows (via himitsusentaiblog)...

And here we have a rare Game Gear sighting, in old OVA anime, Starship Girl Yamamoto Yohko. Hell, it’s a rare Game Gear in anything sighting; the only other example that comes to mind is Rumble In The Bronx (via @TheOtaking)...

And an equally rare Sonic on the runway sighting (via kotaku.com)...

I normally watch a video in its entirety before making a recommendation. Yet when it came to this overview of Last Bronx's legacy in Japan (and lack thereof in the West), hearing the main theme to Beat Takeshi's Violent Cop near the 3 min mark was all I needed (have since watched the whole thing, and as expected, it's another awesome Kim Justice production)...

And finally, a friend notes: "subzero's right arm is real close to trump's spinal column

just sayin" (via @jbillinson)...

[theoveranalyzingariette-blog]

An Overanalyzing Overture

To the vast nameless and faceless void of the Internet, hello.

           My name is Ariette, and if you couldn’t tell by my screen name, I like to overanalyze things.  It’s a habit I’ve developed over the years, and it drives my mother insane.  To be clear, it isn’t that I hate everything that I play, watch, read, etc., it’s just that I find it fascinating to break things down into simple concepts that can be studied.  Why do some things work while others fail?  How does my worldview (and the worldviews of others) influence my perspective of the various forms of entertainment I engage with?  To put it simply, why do I like what I like? Sometimes that answer can be found, while other times it remains elusive.  It is a process I enjoy regardless of the results however, and I hope you will enjoy overanalyzing along with me.  

          For my first post I figured it’s best to keep it simple, so we will start with one of my favorite things: a list.  Actually it’s more like a game of 20 either/or questions in a list format, but you get the point.  This is a fun way for me to give you, the reader, a chance to see the sorts of things I enjoy discussing.  I assure you however, that this is not a comprehensive list of the topics I want to cover in my posts.  These were just the easiest topics I could turn into either/or questions.

1) Marvel or DC?  (I might as well start out with one of the most predictable questions right?)

Marvel.  That is entirely thanks to the recent Marvel Cinematic Universe however.  If you had asked me this question when I was a child the answer would definitely have been DC.  I enjoyed The X-Men cartoon growing up, but that was the only real exposure I had to Marvel till the first Tobey Maguire Spiderman film was released.  As for DC, I adored the 1990’s animated Batman series as a kid, and I also consistently watched The Justice League and Teen Titans as well.  As an adult though, I am far more invested in the MCU.

  2) Batman or Superman?

Batman.  Even as a child I found him to be a more compelling character.  He has a complexity and vulnerability that makes him far more relatable to me.

  3) Team Cap or Team Iron Man?

Team Cap.  I don’t dislike Iron Man, in fact the first Iron Man film is still one of my favorite of the Marvel movies, but my beliefs and ideals align more with Captain America’s worldview.

 4) Star Trek or Star Wars 

Star Wars.  Now I’m not one of those people that believe you can only like one or the other, but I do prefer Star Wars.  Star Trek is fun, but I’ve only seen the original TV series (which I loved) and the three reboot films (which I loved, didn’t care for, and liked all right... in that order).  As for Star Wars, I’ve seen all the films, played some of the games, read some of the books, watched both of the TV shows, and made a set of Mandalorian armor.  So yea, you might say I’m into it.  

  5) Jedi or Sith?

Honestly, I wouldn’t do well in either order.  If I had to guess however, I think I would likely be a Grey Jedi.

 6) Clone Wars or Star Wars Rebels?

Star Wars Rebels.  That’s a really tough question to answer though, and I could probably write a rather lengthy post about the pros and cons of both shows.

  7) Since they are basically the same character… MCU Loki or Kylo Ren? (Key word basically, I know they have their differences.)

MCU Loki.  Yes, I do need to specify MCU Loki as opposed to the version found in the comics and the actual Norse god they are both based on.  A comparison of MCU Loki and Kylo Ren and a comparison of the different adaptations of Loki would both be interesting future posts as well…

  8) Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones?

Lord of the Rings.  I’ve never seen Game of Thrones, but if I had to guess, I would say there is too much needless nudity in it for my taste.

  9) Hobbit, Human, Orc, Wizard, Elf, or Dwarf?

I wish I was an Elf, but I’m probably just a Human.  I can say with certainty that I’m not a Hobbit. Their love of food is just something I don’t have.

  10) Hand Drawn or 3D Animation?

Call me old school, but I prefer hand drawn animation.

  11) Which would you rather listen to, a Movie’s Orchestral Score or a Movie’s Soundtrack?

A Movie’s Orchestral Score.  No competition there.

  12) Sega, PlayStation, Nintendo, X-Box, or PC?

Nintendo.  My brother and I only owned Nintendo console and hand held games growing up because my mother knew she didn’t have to supervise the games we were playing as closely. I’ve tried out other consoles owned by friends, but my preference for the Nintendo has carried over into adulthood.  

  13) Mario or Legend of Zelda? 

Legend of Zelda.

  14) Pokémon or Digimon?  

Pokémon.  

  15) Yugi and the Dark Magician or Seto and the Blue Eyes White Dragon?

Seto and his Blue Eyes White Dragon.  The Dark Magician Girl is my favorite card though, with Blue Eyes coming in at a close second.

  16) Books or Movies? 

Books.  I love using my imagination to create a mental picture of what I am reading in my mind.

  17) Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Slytherin?

I’m a proud Slytherin.

 18) Disneyland or Disney World?

Disney World.  I’ve never been to Disneyland.

  19) Disney or Universal? 

Disney.  The Harry Potter portions of the Universal parks are amazing, and I love the Mummy ride, but the number of actual coasters in the two parks is starting to dwindle as they continue to add 3D simulator after 3D simulator.  Disney just has more variety in terms of special events, attractions, and shows.  

  20) Geek or Nerd?

It depends on your definition of those two words.  By my own definition I am more of a Nerd. I’m not techy enough to be a Geek.

             There you have it, twenty random questions that I hope have helped you to get to know me a little better.  Now if you read that list and went “Ugh I don’t like any of these topics,” never fear. As I said before, my posts are certainly going to cover the things on this list, but they will not be limited to them.  I am a huge fan of opera, music, the Twilight Zone, films of all types, documentaries, literature, baking, and the list goes on and on.  All that to say, I can and will ramble on about a number of different topics with little regard to proper form or grammar, and I hope you will join me on this silly little analytical adventure.  

[taeyxgns-blog]

Android games to look forward to in 2018

We wouldn’t be very good to you if we didn’t give you a great list of games you need to be expecting in 2018. And we want to be good to you, so join us as we try to hype up your 2018 Android gaming prospects with this list. Some of these games are set to launch before the year ends, so you may see one or two of these titles arrive in a few days’ time. Some of these are in the pipeline for a 2018 launch. Get excited with us for these.

Check age of empires 3 cheats.

Star Wars: Rise to Power

With the release of a new feature film, you will never lack for Star Wars games in the Play Store. Here’s another one coming your way – Star Wars: Rise to Power is a strategy game set in the Star Wars universe. Players will get to influence who will control the galaxy by choosing a faction, establishing their base and building a fleet. You can imagine the battles that will rage on, and ultimately players will decide if the controlling power is the Empire or the New Republic. Are you interested yet?

One Piece Thousand Storm

This is an RPG game based on the popular anime One Piece. We don’t know much about the game, only that it will feature all the fan favorites and Straw Hat Pirates from the “2 Years Ago” and “New World” story arcs. The gameplay is reportedly 3v3 team battles with RPG elements. The game was set for a late 2017 launch, so this could hit the market any time soon.

Tekken Mobile

They only had to mention Tekken and we’re going to get on that train. Whatever needs to be done to be able to experience a true blue Tekken fighting game on mobile, we hope that Bandai Namco does it. The game is crazy popular on consoles, and it will blow up like crazy if Bandai Namco is finally able to bring this to mobile. We’re hoping that the game becomes very accessible and that the controls will reflect the combo fighting elements of Tekken.

Runescape Mobile

The game that started the MMORPG trend, the game that most MMORPG players have played at one point or another, is set to have a mobile client. That would have been difficult to imagine a few years back, but Jagex is going to give us a cross-platform Runescape that will allow players to bring along the game on their mobile phones. This game is set for a 2018 launch, and we can’t wait to see how it fares with hardcore Runescape players.

Harry Potter: Wizards Unite

Potterheads will be excited to know that the Harry Potter universe will be getting a number of official games soon, one of them is Harry Potter: Wizards Unite, an augmented reality game. This game is being built by Niantic, makers of hit AR games Pokemon GO and Ingress. By the looks of it, players will explore real-world neighborhoods and cities to go on quests, learn and cast spells, discover mysterious artifacts, and encounter legendary beasts. It already sounds massive.

Final Fantasy XV Pocket Edition

If you loved Final Fantasy XV on the console, you’ll probably love the idea of being able to play the game on your mobile as well. Cute chibi versions of Noctis and co. will take over from their highly-rendered 3D versions, and it looks like the whole game will be ported to mobile, in cute chibi version. Square Enix has probably made another home run with this game, which everybody will want on their phones.

My Tamagotchi Forever

If you’re of the right age, you will know what a Tamagotchi is and how big the craze was before. I even had a friend who shed real life tears for her dead Tamagotchi (she forgot to feed it, you see). A Tamagotchi is a digital pet, and My Tamagotchi Forever looks to bring that same experience to mobile. Will we have another generation of kids who are forever minding their digital pets? Let’s wait and see.

Battle Breakers

If you’re into the hack-and-slash, action RPG genre, then you should wait for Battle Breakers. This upcoming action RPG from Epic Games is being designed for Unreal Engine 4, so you will expect the graphics to be great. The game gives a vibrant sci-fi cartoon vibe, and Battle Breakers will let players recruit hundreds of unique heroes for their teams. You will need to battle monsters from space, and to do so, you will need to master the elements and defeat your enemies with strategy. If this is your type of game, watch out for it in 2018.

Tumblestone

From the Quantum Astrophysicists Guild – makers of popular game “The Bridge” – comes another puzzle game that would probably catch the attention of the casual gamers out there. This is an already popular game on console and other platforms for Nintendo, so people already know about this. The game will have a multiplayer mode where you can play with your friends. The puzzles will get progressively more difficult as levels advance, so let’s see who catches the puzzle fever with this game.

Hyper Sentinel

This upcoming shooter by Huey Games is a call back to old school arcade shoot ‘em ups that you used to love. The great thing about this is that it is rendered in gorgeous 4K graphics, with awesome power-ups, and epic boss battles. If these are the type of games that interest you, then Hyper Sentinel is surely one you should watch out for.

[antiques-for-geeks]

Games of Christmas Past : Quest for the Rings

Philips (Magnavox) / 1982 / G7000 (Odyssey²) / Originally £19.95

Yes, the Christmas spirit has even managed to permeate AfG towers and in the last editorial meeting those memories of games from Christmas past came flooding back. The good, the bad, the ugly, the over-priced, the cheap and the ones purchased by Grandma because the nice man in the shop said it was the one that all the kids were playing. So naturally, the team were asked to find one game each to write about.

First up, Pop...

When we were asked to write a piece about a game which held strong Christmas memories it took me a while to decide on a single title to tackle. There are so many to choose from! As a kid, Christmas was often the best (sometimes only) chance to get something to play on our gaming machines, and even when I was earning a paycheck I still enjoyed the ritual of making my purchase of a newly released games console or computer during the festive season. 

As a terminal man-baby I still enjoy that ritual; when I finally cracked and bought a Nintendo Switch I needlessly made sure I was unwrapping it as a Christmas gift to myself.

There are a few standouts amongst the many. The year I got a SNES with Street Fighter 2, Pilotwings and the distilled awesomeness that was Zelda 3. The Christmas after I started my first job when I was happily unwrapping an N64 with Goldeneye and celebrating the peace on earth and goodwill to all men with festive long distance sniper head-shots on unfortunate guards.

I honestly wasn’t intending to review this, the last significant G7000 game of my childhood on AFG. That’s certainly not because it isn’t worth remembering; I just have a preference for writing about games that I can actually do justice to by playing them in something like their original form ...if not always on the original hardware. My G7000 is long gone, but I felt the reviews of system classics Satellite Attack and Pick Axe Pete were justifiable because they are simple enough games to get the measure of when played via emulation. Quest for the Rings is a very different story for reasons that will become apparent.

“ You are about to become a legend in your own time and enter an alternate world where dreams (and nightmares) come true with fire-breathing reality. Special microcomputer circuitry will generate the alternate time frequencies and dimension warps necessary for finite control and monitoring of your alter-presence via television - while you remain physically secure in the relative safety of your home dimension. ”

Billed as a part of the Phillips ‘Master Strategy’ series, Quest for the Rings is a very basic game by today’s standards. You and another player travel across the kingdom to try and gather up the 10 rings of power before time runs out and the evil ringmaster plunges the world into darkness (or some Tolkien inspired guff to that effect!). 

There was obviously no way the primitive G7000 was going to produce a credible role playing experience, so most of the richness of the game is generated with a printed game board, counters and a set of written rules. 

That’s right... this is basically one great big board / video game hybrid. That may sound awesomely crummy to you, the sophisticated gamer of 2019, but back in the early 80’s this was very clever stuff. It allowed the designers to deliver scale, complexity, tension and surprise, all while working within the restrictions of a machine that could draw you a few lines and stick people, and sound out with some tuneless beeps and burps.

A box of delights!

This was a game that required collaboration (2 to 5 players!), communication (working together to outwit the enemies!) and imagination (shite graphics!) to get you over the line. That, my friends, is why it’s one of my most fond Christmas retrogaming memories.

Ideally played with 3 people, one takes the part of the nefarious Ringmaster, while the other players choose one of the 4 hero classes:

Warrior: a stick man with a sword! The sword is useful, in that it can actually kill some of the enemies! It’s really short range though, and can only be slashed horizontally.

Wizard: a stick man that can fire asterisks! Not just any asterisks, these are magic asterisks! These confuse some of the enemies, making them spin for a while, and they travel horizontally across the screen for as long as the action button is held. The effect is only temporary.

Phantom: a stick man that can walk though most walls! But not walls of fire! When you’re in the wall enemies can't get you, but they’ll stand around waiting for you to come out, and when you do you’re toast…

Changeling: a stick man that can turn invisible! Invisible stick man cannot be seen by enemies, though he can still be killed by touching enemies. He’s invisible to you too, dear player, which is a pain.

Our bitter experience was that while all the hero classes had their moments you really needed at least 1 warrior on the crew to avoid getting mobbed by the smaller enemies.

The green warrior has a quick slash against the dungeon wall.

The Ringmaster has the important task of setting up the game board. This is done by hiding monster tokens and the 10 ring tokens under location pieces and placing them around the map.

Once this is complete, the players have a limited number of turns to move around the map, entering the locations to gather the rings. The contents of each location is hidden until turned over; the combination of dungeon type and monster type are entered using the G7000 keyboard (keyboard overlay included!). This is one of the few games on the machine that makes real use of that keyboard. Finally the 2 heroes attempting the dungeon are chosen and the next bit is played out in living colour on your TV screen.

There are 4 types of single screen locations the heroes will be met with;

Dungeons: some black blocks randomly spread around the screen! You can’t go through them unless you’re the Phantom. These places are a breeze compared to the rest.

Infernos: some red blocks randomly spread around the screen! Touch ‘em and you die! The phantom is almost entirely useless here. 

Crystal Caverns: some invisible blocks randomly spread around the screen! Like dungeons, but you can’t see the walls until you touch them. A real pain in the ass.

Shifting halls: some black blocks randomly spread around the screen! They shift to the right at regular intervals. You and the monsters can get trapped inside the walls until they move again. A REAL pain in the ass.

The locations are usually populated by the standard bad guys - orcs and firewraths; basically just white and red stick men that shuffle slowly toward you and will kill on touch. However… the crafty Ringmaster can protect his rings with one of two extra perils!

A location with spydroths and doomwinged bloodthirsts will come with a few spider and winged elephant things scattered about. These cannot be killed, can jump at you when in range and are all in all pretty deadly.

A location with a dragon will have a clear band running right across the middle of the screen where a nicely drawn (for the ‘7000 that is) dragon patrols from left to right. If you enter this band he will rush you, shooting deadly fireballs, and will gobble you up upon reaching your burning corpse. The dragon is a real headache; the further away he is when you start crossing open ground the better, and another player running distraction helps too.

The dragon will mess you up... again and again...

Your goal in any location is to reach a ring or an exit. Both players have 1 life per dungeon, and failure means you have to try the location again on the next turn.

There’s one extra twist if you’re playing the game with a third person as Ringmaster; they have a small number of possession tokens that can be played on any location. When that happens the Ringmaster takes over one of the players and can annoy the other player by blocking or attacking them. A simple idea, but great fun!

Having fairly slated the crummy graphics, I’ll just take a paragraph or two to wax lyrical about how good the rest of the presentation was for this game. It came in a sturdy cardboard case that opened out like a jewelry box. Inside sat a beautifully illustrated board and manual, and a plastic tray full of nice solid counters and tokens.

The artwork was top-notch throughout, and really helped our imaginations fill in the massive gaps left behind by the pitiful graphics.

...also, the cartridge had a GOLDEN LABEL! It was beautiful, and I will never forgive myself for selling off my pristine copy a few years back…

Excluding the board-game aspect to Quest for the Rings, I can’t honestly find enough to recommend playing it today. It’s slow paced, and can be in turn frustrating and confusing. What I can’t deny is that it brings back pure waves of nostalgia - much more so than the other games we owned for the G7000. I think this is due to the social nature of the gameplay; though you could mess about in a dungeon by yourself, it really came alive with the full complement of players. Having enough people to play properly was a special occasion in its own right.

So picture the scene: the tree is lit, you’re all stuffed with the first of many turkey dinners. Your cousins are visiting, and you’ve spent the day in a state of hyper-active near meltdown. 007 Moonraker has just finished on the television, and you’re still chuckling about that awesome bit where a pigeon does a double take when Bond takes to the Venetian streets in a hovercraft-gondola. What better way to end an 80’s Christmas evening than to set up a monster 5 player game of Quest for the Rings? 

Score card

Presentation 10/10

The game itself has as much detail as you could ever expect to find in a game for the Philips G7000. Where this really scores is in the packaging, manual and board-game elements, all of which are of the highest quality.  As far as I’m concerned, there are few games of any era that were better presented.

Originality 9/10

The machine was packed with games inspired by arcade hits of the day, but this is a wholly original effort. The bit you actually play on the console is really quite basic, but the way it’s blended with simple board game mechanics made it fairly unique for the time.

Graphics 4/10

It’s a G7000 game, so stick men and blocks abound. The generous 4 is all down to the the dragon, which is pretty spectacular given the general standard on the machine. 

Hookability 5/10

This isn’t a ‘hooky’ game. You have to read the manual and have enough players for a start! Once you had the hang of it the game became a very engrossing challenge, but still some way off a pick-up-and-play title.

Sound 2/10

Very sparse, with some some grating high pitched tones thrown in for things like the Wizards’ spell. No music, unless you count the atonal ear-bleeding loop that plays after you’ve selected your characters that is.

Lastability 8/10

Pretty damn deep for a game from 1982, especially because the unpredictable human factor is built in. If you had at least 3 willing participants this could very well be dusted off regularly for years.

Value for Money 8/10

More expensive than a standard G7000 game, but you could really see where that money went.

Overall 8/10

This score is doubtless tainted by nostalgia, and since I can’t actually play the game any more you should take it with a pinch of salt. One thing I can say for sure is that playing games with other people in the same room as you, either on a board or on a TV screen will never cease to be fun. That remains true no matter how good technology gets at allowing us to physically avoid each other.

Merry Christmas everyone! Stay in school! Try your best not to do drugs!

#G7000 #odyssey2 #phillips #review #AFG #antiquesforgeeks #retrogaming #christmas