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#im working on it! its definitely a bit longer than i expected but thats cool.
autistickhunsam · 1 year
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Bree and Timberly though! Thank you sm for giffing them❤️ I love that they didn’t just let Timberly be the dumb one and that Bree fully admitted that she was being terrible to her and apologized. Them sleeping together was a bonus and idk if they’re going to be serious but they’re cute. I love how vulnerable Bree was the morning after like ‘what does yous laid mean’ cracked me up lol. Hannah being gay too though, wow I hope she gets or has a gf. I wasn’t sure about it at first but I like the show more every week and really wish it was getting more than 8 episodes. I know 22 episode seasons like how regular sitcoms do it is out but but for a show like this, 16 or even 13 episodes would work I think?
of course! i love doing it and honestly its a bit extra fun when its for stuff that doesnt really have a lot of content. but its a good show so im sure it'll pick up and more big content creators will be making edits. its funny though because as much as i love it i was actually feeling pretty frustrated for various reasons and thinking about quitting. just finish my wips and be done making edits but reboot reeled me back in
anyway. yeah! its not very often a show surprises me but i'll say this show has more than once. i thought maybe they were gonna go that way with timberly too and i thought we were gonna see them trying to get her kicked off the show but then turns out she could act. i also didnt think they were gonna go there with bree and timberly even though i totally thought they should. tho when bree was on the phone with reed i was like "they did didnt they?" and then they did!
like i said in another post i was expecting there to be sapphic characters and i thought maybe hannah. i actualy wanted something to happen with elaine but it looks like theyre setting something with zack. also kimia! i love her so im happy shes there regardless but shes another character i thought might be gay especially since shes married to a woman in real life so my guess is her character isnt gonna be straight either. idt they'll go there with janae but i can totally see her being into women too. after she pointed out women dont scissor and its a bs male fantasy i was like 🤔 but yeah timberly and bree were the two characters i wasnt expecting to go there lol. even after it happened i was like is it gonna be a one time fun thing is it gonna be just about bree, a straight woman, having sex with someone as a palate cleanser but not only was that the opening scene but immediately shes wondering if shes gay and obviously coming to the conclusion that shes not straight and being totally cool with it. i hate the whole "i dont like using labels" thing and i get that some people do feel that way and nothing wrong with that but thats a notorious way to avoid saying bisexual on tv. i also hated the "no one says lesbian anymore" like it was some outdated term not to mention completely wrong. but aside from that i loved the episode and i love the show. it has me laughing out loud every episode
and yes i was thinking that too. i think i said that on another post too about bree being vulnerable and nervous about being good. its especially nice since idt she really is vulnerable with others very often. it was a good scene and funny. lol the whole looking stuff up was so funny. "yous laid" would be a good ship tag lol
i still don't think it'll develop into anything but at this point i wouldnt be surprised either way
i didnt know it was only getting 8. i guess thats not abnormal for a first season in a comedy, even before streamers. i do hate that its common practice now to do 8-10 episode seasons tho. it can work but generally i think shows should definitely be longer than that
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anonymous-eggy · 3 years
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What kind of ship does Nicky have? Does he have more than one? If he does, is it a fleet? Do they all travel together like some wack circus? Lol
uuuuhh. uh. *shuffles through notecards shakily* *accidentally fumbles with them and drops them all and they all gloriously scatter across the ground* shit.
b-big boi boat... the big kind that you can have sexy sword fights on filled with sexual tension... like this kinda?
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Nicky does have other ships under his command! it kind of is like a fleet? the way he has it working is similar to the mafia. its a little spread out, but in a similar general area 😂 but he does make sure he has some of the other ships nearby or traveling alongside, in case of emergency.
with people who are new to being in charge of a ship, he has them travel beside him for a little while until they get the hang of it and go off doing their job.
I dont think he's had every ship in one place at one time for a while, but that event would certainly be caused by something big. (since the number of ships under his command has grown since then) Sometimes he has multiple ships travel alongside him, especially if he has to sail through dangerous waters.
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ice-emperor-zane · 3 years
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Okay, an addition to the ninjago atla au because its angst o’ clock buddy (and theres also various other stuff i should explain about the picrew post)
Lloyd
When Lloyd ran away from the fire nation, of course they were after him, so while he was traveling through the earth nation to get to republic city he had to get a disguise, he naturally has very dark hair but he bleached it which is why he’s blonde and doesn’t really look fire nation, also he may have stolen some clothes made in the earth kingdom so he blends in better. Also he never had freckles until recently because he used to avoid the sun a lot and so his freckles were faded for so long he forgot abt them. He avoided the sun because knew that the sun made firebending stronger, and he knew of the destruction that firebending could cause; the type of firebending he’d been taught was the sort that relied on strong emotions like anger, and im sorry but you cant expect a 12 year old who’s got a lot of pressure on him to regulate his emotions constantly, he’s still trying to figure out how to use his powers without the aid of anger and hatred. He’s no longer so afraid of going out in the sun though because since he ran away he’s been more worried he’ll need his firebending to protect himself from the fire nation than worried he’ll accidentally do any damage to them, and he’s too tired from all the traveling to firebend at all most of the time without the sun.
Jay
Jay has always hated firebending and the way its used in fighting, and so even though he has visited the sun warriors and knows great firebending technique, he decided to never become a master. Though he loves that he can lightningbend, because when its combined with his parent’s metalbending, they created some of the most innovative technology of their time, and he thinks thats way more cool than shooting fire at people. However, Jay can only lightningbend when he’s calm, and he can be a bit panicky sometimes. So, instead of fighting with all the other guys, he often infiltrates the higher ups as an officer for the fire nation army, its concerningly easy, he actually finds it a bit fun. All you have to do is do a quick show of firebending (even though he does hate firebending, he can and will do for pretty much this reason only) and then recite a pledge to the fire nation (Jay is definitely a theatre kid and the way he can lie/act about how much he loves the fire nation with a straight face is terrifying). His current alias is Commander Jin Zhaofeng, and under this name he has gotten inside information on fire nation plans and recruited a small group of soldiers and other low-rank members of the army to he resistance to give him information to pass on to people even when he can’t be there. (He may have also secretly lightningbended into a few higher-ups’ tea if he thought they were going to be endangering people’s lives).
Kai
First of all, Kai definitely has those hair loop thingies Katara had, because he would never pass up a chance to make his hair as extra as possible. Second of all, Kai has a bit of a similar problem to what Child Lloyd did. Kai never had real firebending lessons because in republic city you have to pay for them, and he and Nya grew up basically homeless, nobody knows where Ray and Maya are. Kai’s mad at the world for making him and Nya live like that throughout almost the entirety of their childhoods, pair that anger with his naturally impulsive nature and firebending. As you can imagine, he can be a little bit of a hazard to be arround, but he’s working on it. When he and Lloyd first met Jay at the northern air temple, he did help them with the basic premise of firebending without emotion (though that was only a day or two, because Jay Cole and Nya went on to the northern water tribe, so Kai is still mostly self taught).
Nya
Nya always struggled doing any really powerful bending because of a fear of hurting people. Once in training, she realised that she could actually boil the water she was bending, similar to how Bolin could Lavabend, both are probably because of unused firebending genetics, but yeah, unfortunately the moment that she realised she could do that, she training with one Kai and one of their friends, and Nya accidentally splashed the friend with boiling water. And even though both of she and the friend were quite good at healing through waterbending, it left a bit of a scar. Nya sees the friend often and is constantly reminded of how she hurt them, so in fear of hurting anyone else, she created limits for herself and her bending, but now she and the rest of the group are taking on the fire nation, she wont admit it but she feels way out of her depth, its been so long since she’s tried anything that wouldn’t comply with pro-bending tournament rules, she’s trying to relearn the skills she’d made herself forget and its all a little bit too fast, but that won’t stop her from trying. Oh also the friend mentioned in this is the love interest for Cole mentioned in the original post, and I have a lot more to say about him :)
Cole and Zane’s extra info coming soon, the moment i think of something, along with more info on Garmadon, Harumi, and their evil plan™️
Edit: oki its here
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gwynndolin · 3 years
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first day of mh rise thoughts:
genuinely surprised at how well this game runs. i wasnt convinced it would be as steady as it is, the RE engine is pretty impressive. it would've been fantastic to have had the switch pro come out before rise's release tho. maybe it will have forward compatibility, we'll see
the maps are much smaller than the ones in world (which probably helps with the performance) and i think it still works just as fine. As for right now, i cant really decide if any of them are particularly ICONIC like some other maps are. Obviously the temple ruins from the demo are pretty decent, but so far the snow area and desert area have not COMPLETELY hooked me, but this might change in time as i discover and work them more
movement is soo much fun in this game. chaining movement with wirebugs is very fun in a similar vein to how cappy was in mario odyssey, it took a little bit of learning but its mostly intuitive and feels great and very flashy to pull off; just getting around it is a fantastic way to move, and honestly i probably use it more than the palamute, just because getting over terrain thats tall is typically faster than going around the mountains, tho it depends on terrain type. Maps are pretty vertical in this one to reflect the movement changes but there are places where the palamute feels better
in combat the wirebugs are ALSO very fun, i tried out a bunch of the weapons in the demo and most of the weapons had very fun (albeit not very effective) silkbind moves that really switches combat up and (typically) encourages a lot of movement around the monsters, and in exchange, the monsters move around a lot too; mostly newer ones, but older monsters seem to be more mobile as well
the wirefall recovery seems. REALLY good, and im not gonna lie, might be too good. It does put your wirebug (one wirebug for each wirefall) on a (seemingly) longer cool down than silkbind moves and general movement, but it still feels like a big get out of jail free card. not such a bad thing of course. im all for more accessibility in the monster hunter series
the difficulty does seem to be toned down quite a bit too, though im still in village 3, but one of my friends already rushed to the end and got to credits (without changing his armor once) so im wondering how much easier it might be compared to older games. again, not a problem, but it would be nice to have some optional late game stuff be more difficult, and i think we'll probably see that through content updates
rampage mode is silly but fun. i never expected mh to have a tower defense mode but here we are. seems like it will be a lot of fun in multi-player mode if theres more difficulty and variety in it. i like that the system from world of adding small boosts to weapons have been moved to this mode's material drops which i definitely feel is more intuitive than the streamstones(?) from world that you had to farm from tempered elder dragons and it was booooring.. i think i will actually enjoy doing rampage mode
theres a lot of good quality of life stuff that carried over from world and some new stuff as well, though the buttons have been switched around i think. SOME thing is messing with my muscle memory here
most of all im SO glad that interesting looking weapon designs are back. i was so afraid they were only showing good designs in all the promos but it seems like every weapon that has a monster LOOKS like it was made of that monster, instead of just slapping some hide on the iron weapon and calling it a day
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I love your fanfics! And I was wondering do you have any tips for original fanfic writing or just writing fics in general?
wow this actually ended up a lot longer than i thought it would, but here we go!
Original fanfics, hmmmmmm....
What I generally do is base things off of my own personal experience. Like all my iida fics are stuff that happened between me and my husband before we got married. Can’t help falling in love fic with bakugo, that was a previous relationship i had (which there is more to that story). Caught with todoroki..... thats how i got out of a ticket with a cop and how i learned that when i half check someone out and half start thinking about what i would do to that fine man in uniform (curse my uniform kink) that i glare/make a suspicious face. and when he confronted me about what i was doing, ready to write some kind of ticket for whatever i was doing wrong, i was so embarrassed that i blurted out that i found him very attractive and what exactly was on my mind and how i wanted to take that uniform off him.... that has happened with a emt too, i missed the green light looking at his bulging biceps after he rolled up his sleeves to write on a clip board.... he waved and i proceeded to squat in my seat and slam my face against the stirring wheel. escape artist cat was actually a dream i had, someone was taking off my cat’s pretty ribbon collars and putting ugly ones on her and i woke up sooooo mad, but i turned that dream into a romance story (reality kuiper was taking her collars off herself cause she was a brat) Stories about yourself, no matter how small you think it is actually has great potential to become a fic.
its also okay to borrow ideas from other forms of media. I do. example, Silk Maiden, based off of  an old batman episode from the early 2000s. its completely okay to do that. I’m not saying copy and paste the exact scenes. Just take the premises and then change it. some examples, like the movie Brave is the Scottish version of Aladdin. the princess who wants to be free and live her life beyond her princess duties needs to get married and she is not having it and wants to change the rules and runs away to find something new. premise is the same but how the story is told is different, one denies every prince and find her own prince in the streets of her kingdom and the other finds a cake that turns her mom into a bear that helps them understand each other and appreciate each other more. a weeb example is isekais. There are sooooo many isekais. japan, Korea, and china are all mass producing isekais right now. the premises are all the same, someone from one world now in another world primarily thanks to magical truck-kun who is probably could be branded as a mass serial killer at this point. I read a lot and i love korean isekai romance novels. I have read an isekai where the character was a villain who then was reincarnated with the memories of her villainous previous life who decided to live her new life by repenting by helping others but guess what? truck-kun came in the form of a airplane crash and she wakes up again in her first life’s preteen body before she became a villain. I’m reading an isekai isekai, author of an isekai met truck-kun and woke up inside the body of one of her characters in her isekai novel. all the same premise but told in a different way. i want to write an isekai for bnha! take a premise and write what you wanted to see happen between those characters if they were in that situation.
same for some fanfics, like you read a fanfic and you like the story that you read but you wished for something more. You like the idea but you wished that it went in this direction or you wanted different  types of interaction, its okay to write your own fic with the same premises. i’ve done that. (side note: but if you are gonna base off of it where a lot of the stuff is the same the give the proper credit where it deserves. no stealing peoples hard work) thats what fanfic was originally made for, fans wanted something more from their favorite works or wants something different (Thank you star trek fandom who started all this). I’ve read a lot of villain deku fics and i was craving a specific type of villain fic where “he really isnt a villain but is one but there is a reason why hes being evil cause it is for the greater good cause of deku’s savior complex and border line martyr complex he’s had since he was a child” with a side of “hero/villain romance”, “surprise quirk” and “badass” and a healthy scoop of “bakugo becomes a better person on his own without deku at UA through the power of friendship cause he has that potential without deku’s constant interference”. no one had what i wanted, so i started writing it myself.
also dont worry about being original. you can write a common idea that everyone sees a thousand times a day, like isekai, and people will love it. focus on how you are telling your story, dont put so much effort in being different. actually, common or typical tropes/ideas help make the story more relatable. two books can be equally as good but one person can like book A over book B because they felt more connected to the characters in it. they could relate to the emotions that were being conveyed. 
now writing tips....hmmmmm well not everything works for everyone but this is what i do
I write notes down, lots of them. I have notebooks full of notes for my fics. some people can just sit there and start writing, but i like notes to keep me on track and remind me of stuff i wanted to add. Writing it down makes it easier not to forget, cause you are just lying to yourself if you think you’ll remember the idea for later. i got dialogue, scenes, plots, random quirk ideas, diagrams, (12) oc profiles, outlines, lists, and a event idea that i have that i want to do some day, all in my notebook. If you are going to write a long fic i strongly encourage that you do this. Outlines are your friend, they are bones of the story Ex:
Hero By Another Name original outline:
meet at a fire, firefighter impresses kiri who will later seek her out
kiri is becoming popular and wants to share the fame
they bond some how(?)
firefighter kiri, kirishima needs to wear a firefighter uniform
firefighter turns out to be a mega fan of red riot
photoshoot
kirishima finds out shes a nerd and is cool with it
firefighter is now popular
camping with baku or bakusquad?
miscommunication
kirishima does a big confession
I always start off with the key things i want for sure to happen. then i start adding to it. I write out the scene i definitely want to see or i can see clearly in my head. i just keep adding to it till its at least three pages long of just outline that has some images, random dialogue i want someone to say or little summaries of the scene i want.
its okay to jump around when you write. there are some parts that you know you need in a story to help it move a long but it can be boring. so i write one scene that i want to happen next and then i think of what needs to happen to get to that point. like how in hero another name where kirishima shows up unannounced to her apartment  and finds out she hoards all his hero merch while not wearing pants.  how do you make that not sound creepy and have kirishima be okay with it? by adding bits of how much of a fan she is through out the story! when they first have dinner together i threw in that red riot shirt to help break the ice and that he would then know that she was a big enough fan to buy his merch and that she admires him and that he is an inspiration for her. then later adding that interview where she talks about how she became his fan shows that she has years of dedication to him as a hero. so when he sees all the merch she has, it would make sense to him that she had all of that and not go “huh, will i be able to leave this place if i enter?”
if you dont know it, look it up. research. i wrote a fic before where the reader was pregnant the entire time, i started at two months to birth. I knew nothing about pregnancy on how it can affect your daily life and what it feels like beyond what health class and child development class taught me. So i looked it up. there is seriously so much that doctors look for during those many ultrasounds cause there are so many things that can affect your health and the baby’s and did you know there is pregnancy diabetes? you can become diabetic only during pregnancy, like after you give birth it can go away or stay, the human body is just tripy. but thanks to that research, people who have had children before left comments going “yessss, i remember feeling that” or “god, this was my sister in this scene, it sucks”. Its that relatability i mentioned before that really helps and it makes the story more believable.
(this is just my personal opinion mainly here feel free to ignore) when it comes to smut, write what you know and not what you fantasize about. im not calling anyone out but i can tell from how someone writes sex that they never had it and they are most likely younger than me. i’ve experimented a lot in my 25 years of life and i find myself going “oh sweetie, thats not how the vagina/anus works” when i read fics sometimes. there are guides online that are very informative and tell you what the feelings are like that you would expect. dont rely on porn too much on how sex works physically, maybe for dialogue. (i think of porn as just live action fanfics for the human mating ritual fandom). its okay to use other smuts as reference tools as well, especially if you dont know anything of the bdsm lifestyle.
beta readers help a lot. if you are unsure of ideas that you have, talk it out with a friend. I sometimes do this for myself or help others with their fics. its actually a lot of fun with a group of people where you just keep shooting off ideas together about stuff and just go all out fangirlling to the point you are rolling on the ground smiling. this can help with writers block or motivate you to keep writing. also having another pair of eyes to look at your fics, not just for corrections but for input on the story can help make it better. someone can see things from a different angle and point stuff out to you, plot holes or things that you can add.
im not sure what else to say other than stuff like format and spacing. sometimes i see people who write too long of paragraphs or there is no clear separation between them. thats killer on the eyes and makes me not want to read at all cause all i see is this wall of text thats just overwhelming. i want to call who ever formatted textbooks cause thats how they do it and it makes it so hard to concentrate on reading and absorbing the info. if i see fics with no clear breaks or long running paragraphs, i usually give up half way cause i just cant do it. its hard to keep track where you are reading and you start trying to focus on it too much that the story is just lost on me. it is hard on people like me who have dyslexia (who ever called it that is just cruel to people who have it cause you can never spell it without spell check and pronouncing it is just ugggh) 
i hope this helps
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fanguuuhhhrl · 4 years
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Im kinda obsessed with I-Land right now. I love 23 boys and if possible i would like them all to debut but the elimination is in 30 minutes so im going to post my top 12 picks before it airs (kind of in order, kind of not, im biased, this is based on an unsure mixture of skill and personality, could change but most likely not):
1. Sunoo- BITCH!!! WTH!!! I JUST LOOK AT HIM AND MY SEROTONIN LEVELS BURST THROUGH THE ROOF!! He is a puppy!! He is amazing. If you didnt know anyone yet and you put all 23 boys in a line up. He will draw your attention with his sunshine smile :)))) he is so heartwarming. Most people be like "i have no filter" but they just be mean, but this guy is different, he literally has no ability to hide what he thinks but it never comes off as anything negative. He says "Me! I can do it!" but it's just endearing and never comes across as trying to show off. He says "there was a little bit of friction" and when the members look at himshocked, he looks at them shocked too.... theres no dull moment when he's in frame. It's so amazing how pure a person can be. But know that i am not just rooting for personality but for talent. his voice... His Voice!!! Vocally geonu and heeseung really slayed the butterfly performance but if you ask me, "save me" had a more emotional attack. His facial expression is just brimming of feelings. His voice is so raw. Also You know that part in save me where he transitions from head voice into chest voice really smooth??? You'll know what im saying if you see it. thats so fucking satisfying that i had to replay it so much. I definitely replayed the save me performance more times honeslty. And the way he dances!!! It might not be That refined yet but that's the charm... it's so raw and full of emotions... so like him. I can see myself stanning this group long term if he debuts with them.
2. Jungwon- tf i love this boy so much. his visuals already stood out to me when they were entering i-land, then his voice stood out to me in the first challenge... he did that hard ass choreography without any audible changes to his voice that i had to rewind that multiple times (more than the editor already did) then the moment i saw him dance the center in episode 4??? BOY???? BOY!!!! that was my breaking point... i can't believe im saying this about men but i already knew i would die for him... plus he is so sweet :((( his eyes are just so naturally cute but i was so shocked in the last challenge when he was able to pull off that fierce ass look.... i am devastated... im about the same age but my parental instincts are at work here. plus SPOILER ALERT to those who plan to watch he won first place in both the first and last challenge can everybody say jungwon ace
3. Geonu- my feelings for him are much like jungwon :((( except theres more parental instincts... and i say this despite being younger than him but whatever age is just a vibe... HE IS SO LIDDOL :((( i want to be his mom :(( at first, personality wise, it's hard to notice him bc he's a little calm and laidback... but its the little things that draw you to him :((( his glasses and hoodies just seem a little bit big on him and that just makes me smile for some reason... he cries silently when people are sent to the ground and he gets along well with the people... i noticed him first together with jungwon in the first i land challenge because they had the most stable performance. but i've never been more attached to him than when he sang butterfly (favorite bts song anyone??)... i honestly thought they could debut then and there and i wouldnt bat an eye... also it's so funny that the one thing i identified him with during the early episodes was the fact that whenever the camera pans to him, he just has the dead eye stare and parted lips (think: pokerface but confused) especially with the huge ass glasses but in the end the poker face thing that stuck to me became the thing that worked against him i cri
4. Jay- hold on folks this is going to be a long one. Jay has such a powerful personality that at first made me hesitant about liking him... idk he just seemed like the guy i would not vibe with in real life, but the longer time passed, the more he became one of my favorites and i root for him now like crazy. at first it was funny when they kept rejecting him for the vocal parts, but the more it went on, i was so sure that if it was me, i would have cried and dropped then and there, but it was so amazing watching him push through that and he didnt even lie about how he felt. his unique determination is such a breath of fresh air, a little heartwarming and oh so inspiring. i honestly learned a lot from just watching him. the time he went to the ground was so crucial to his development as a person, leader and performer. it was so mindblowing when he became the leader at the ground and even adapted heeseung's teaching methods. you know that meme "improvise, adapt, overcome?" he is the exact personification of that. what i loved about him the most is that even with his steely determination, he didnt enforce or project that on the other grounders, he just shared it with them. he understands when they need rest, encouragement or massages. he was such a caring leader. Skill wise- i can't say anything. He already proved himself so many times. Great dancer and potential vocalist. The mnet specials also show how much sweeter he is than the show shows him to be. He takes care of everyone, and has more of mother duck than street gang vibes (and he knows how to cook!!). And at the end, while he seems to be mostly self- oriented about debuting, he ends up spending most of his time teaching others and helping them improve. I just love him. Debut Jay 2k20!!!
5. Sunghoon- tf this guy is so cool and laidback that i didnt even pay much attention to him during the early parts but he just keeps crawling into my heart because so many members love him so damn much??? and he just goes along with them?? they want me to do triple axel while average people can't even do a single axel on a trampoline?? ok imma give them a double axel tho. jake is challenging me to arm flexing? yeah why not? k wants me to dance?? yeah lemme just spin 50 times. jay wants to shower together?? weird but im not strongly against the idea. ej wants to scare people? count me in. someone needs a hand to hold?? ok here's my warm hand to the rescue... everyone just wants to be his friend that he birthed my favorite sunoo scene "im cuter than him [jake]" and he was just like "yeah ok i guess so" sksjsk sunoo is that how you ask someone to be your friend jshdk??? and can i just say? as a figure skating fan, he has automatic +52536 points... and when the judges said he's the most natural performer out of them??? i vibed with that hard.. he dances well so naturally and he takes your attention without even seeming like he's trying to. that dance performance with k and jungwon?? i thought at first that his energy wouldnt catch up but damn boy my eyes were just trackingnhim the entire time unintentionallu that i had to rewind and he was just as great as all of them... with the additional benefit of being a stunt boy!! and though it might seem effortless, we saw that he practiced so hard for it. overall a 100/100 boy with a naturally charismatic personality that bleeds into his performance... as a fellow 02 liner i would also like to apply as his bestfriend thank you
6. Heesung- what can i say except he's a perfect boy ok thats it why are you still reading... jk... ok lets talk about him... skill wise?? I cried during the butterfly performance. i marvel at his vocal stability. his voice is so crystal clear. his dancing is so clean. his skills are superb but most of all, theyre already so refined. there's nothing more i could ask for. personaloty wise... i also have a lot to say... despite his celebrity status, it's awesome how he can make the other trainees comfortable with him. he's kind and soft and lovely.
but because i am me, i have to overanalyze people so idk skip this if you dont like that. for someone who's experienced being an academic achiever... i sure do vibe with his personality a lot... you know when there's a group activity and you're so sure you can lead it well but you don't want to? half because you dont want to come off as a show off and half bc you genuinely still have self-doubts, and you're scared of falling short of expectations. Also, you feel that if it all fails, you'll be responsible so you have to feel that everyone approves you before you can take leadership and show your entire thing. And the moment you feel validated and take the reins, you start unconsciously projecting your perfectionist attitude on people??? yeah... i love that despite being an almost perfect person he still has issues most people can find relatable and that, in addition to the talent makes me want to root from him. (im also going to take a stab and guess that his mbti is probs ixxp) i'll be honest tho, because its like 100 percent sure now that he'll debut, im not super attached to him??? i love him tho but he's just not in any danger so i can just let my support for him chill. i think amidst this, bc most of the trainees depend a lot on him, i mostly hope for him to take care of his mental health
7. Daniel- awww danielll... i went into i-land not knowing anyone's ages so i had a brief whiplash feeling when someone said daniel is 15... it's because he's so emotionally mature?? like he's such a supportive and caring person that it barely struck me the that he might be the youngest?? he already caught my attention when they performed "any song" bc they just seemed like they were having fun and doing their best without the pressure of whether they would win ir not, and for me that attitude is something you'd see from more experienced performers. and during the second ep when he just felt the need to comfort everyone bc he's got such a high score?? i loved that an i was so bummed out when they eliminated him. the save me performance was definitely a cherry on top that i just had to love him more than i already do... he may be young but he's as ready to debut as everyone else.
8. Jake- jake is just one of the people who showcased so much growth between ep 1 and ep 2. he already had the right attitude when they performed crown and he just had to improve skills and stage presence, and improved he did. despite being one of the trainees with the shortest training time, he was the one teaching the others by the end it just supports my theory that he might have been an ace as well if he just had the same amount of training as everyone else. im also truly in love with his mischievous antics. he seemed like an introvert to me at first but he came out of his shell and i love that. also i just crave more moments of him and sunghoon's friendship (they both seemed like introverts who found someone they could be extroverts with in each other) i am 👌this close to storming i land and demand that they let me join their merry little band of 2002 children
9. Niki- dance skills= 100 he's just so good it's unreal... it's insane... everytime he's on screen i hear boss musicand i cant even imagine him being younger than anyone, let alone taki. i get why some people dislike him but honestly i think it's just because they don't see him as a child... but he is. i was honestly a bit mad for him when they kept guilt tripping him into leading all of them, and i understood his tjought process when he thought he just kept failing everyone and when he thought things just kept backfiring on him. he is held on such a high pedestal and i dont think he deserves that kind of burden. as for me, it would just be a waste of talent to let him go. his attitude could still improve, as we'd seen when he eventually volunteered to help everyone. i also felt bad when he said that he's scared he might not be voted bc some people dont base on skills and i love him and i just want him to kmow that he's loved
10. Taki- what the hell can i even say?? he's the kindest softest boy ever. he tries to see the good in people and is very hardworking... he listens to people well and actually follow them, so he improves a lot... he knows people think he's cute and he tries and tries and tries to look fierce if the song calls for it... he is amazing
11. K- i really can't say anything, he really stands out during performances. also very pro at dancing. his choreography??? *chef's kiss* and i think the younger trainees depend a lot on him, besides heesung and so he's good at keeping the team together.
12. EJ- im really hesitant about the last person to be the twelfth i lander because it could almost be anyone and i wouldnt be too bummed out bc theyre almost all equally talented... the thing with ej tho is he already gets along well with the i landers and has harmony with other members. (plus see above: im a sucker for the 2002 line) i think its a tiny bit unfair to base it on this bc the others didnt even get a chance to show what they can bring to the group so im torn.
bonus: i wouldnt feel too bad if it were jaebeom (he has great voice, the producers think he's not too stand out bc he's weak at dance, but the i land is already so full of people whose expertise is dancing, so i think there should be someone who's specialty is singing), kyungmin (i really appreciated how hard he worked during the last test and it actually paid off, i honestly noticed him there even if he was always at the back. i also loved his determination and i was so touched when he and jaebeom were talking and he said "there's really nothing to do but believe in the impossible right?" it's just that the i landers were already ahead of him in terms of skills so he failed the votings) and hanbin (i've watched his cover videos and he's really good at dancing and stage projection. like i was honestly wondering why it wasnt showing in the performances :((( and he hadnt even had too much screentime to actually See what he's capable of.
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oh? Typhon?
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hell yeah
Here’s some transcripts and speculation
i want you guys to imagine these with a very thick new york accent. 
Recording 4: “I remember the day I arrived on Promethea. Those buildings looked so majestic! I was so busy sky-gazing that a thief stole the pants right off my keister! Promethea’s no Pandora, but a city is still plenty dangerous! I knew this was the sorta place I would either find my destiny or die in a gutter! And thanks to my partner slash nemesis, Azlan DeVega, Promethea was almost both!”
Recording 5: “I thought a city like Promethea would be crammed full of opportunity. But, actually, it was a tinderbox of violence and greed. Corporations were pulling out, calling the joint a dead end. People were starving! Eating stone soup and boiled rats to get by. But, somehow, I survived. It was a real wrong place at the right time type of situation. You know, sometimes the trick to being successful is just staying in the game longer than the other guy.”
Recording 3: “Azlan DeVega: my partner slash nemesis. He talked a big game, but there was a reason why he was down on his luck. He was lazy! But I was hungry to prove myself. Then, one time, we were wandering through the Quazmarian Quarry and I fell through some brittle rock! Azlan calls down: “Nice knowing ya, Deleon!”, grabs my stuff, and splits! Well, I had to find another way up. And, bam! That’s when I found the Vault! I guess the moral is: sometimes you gotta fall before you make it big.”
Recording 1: “I saw the key just sitting there in front of the Vault. Good thing I didn’t open it! I gave the Vault Key to Atlas, got a butt-load of cash and the rest is history! Anyway, as soon as I made my money, who shows up at my door but Azlan DeVega? Sayin’ that I owe him half of the cut! Baloney! I was on my own, and after that, whenever someone wanted to find Eridian ruins, they called me! Typhon Deleon! The first Vault Hunter!”
Recording 2: “So I found that Vault! Atlas was lagging behind those other guys! They almost got wiped out during the corporate wars and were looking to rise from the ashes, like the, uh, what’s it called? The fire bird. Anyway, the Atlas CEO was getting desperate just throwing explorer(s?) at ruins. Now, I never thought growing up on Pandora would do me a lick of good, but I spent my childhood hunting Eridian ruins and that gave me the edge! How about that; Pandora is good for something!”
(I got REALLY distracted while writing this and started analyzing all the Sanctuary 3 footage we got lmao so expect a post on that soon)
So to start, I find it really interesting that Promethea already had a city on it before Typhon arrived. I had assumed the city popped up because Atlas got rich from the discovery of Eridian ruins on Promethea, but that doesn’t seem to be the case! It looks as though a bunch of different corporations all had their hands in the city, but pulled out once the going got tough.
Wild.
Ah, Azlan DeVega. 
Azlan apparently means “Lion” and DeVega means “of Meadow”. This is kinda important for 2 reasons.
1. A very important lion in greek mythology is the Nemean lion, which had golden fur that was impervious to physical attacks and was the child of Typhon. 
2. “of Meadow” didn’t really turn up anything of note within Greek Mythology directly, however! it did return the Epimelides, goddesses of meadows, which translates to “Protector of Sheep”. Sheep and Lions in general are usually associated with Peace, which I thought was a pretty neat connection. I wonder if Typhon is lying... 
3. There’s also this neat bit of mythology here: “When a lion attacked her father's sheep, Cyrene wrestled with the lion” and “when Eurypylus was still ruling Libya, a monstrous lion was created, which was a great terror to the citizens. So Apollo sent Cyrene to kill the beast. After she succeeded, she was made the ruler of the city Cyrene”. I don’t know if this has anything to do with this story tbh but Cyrene is suspiciously similar to Tyreen lmao. Her name even means “Sovereign Queen”... Supreme queen... god queen...... I wouldn’t be shocked if Tyreen goes after Azlan DeVega and/or his descendants
So we’re 100% definitely visiting Quzmarian Quarry, right? This is somewhere on Promethea, so we’ve got a few options. Personally, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s where the abandoned research base is. 
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I say that mostly because it looks as though there’s a door in the floor here. It’d make sense if Typhon fell somewhere and found the Vault there, that Atlas would rush on top of that and ensure nobody else was getting in.
Also, this confuses me, because in TFTBL, its mentioned that Gortys was “Atlas’s last ditch effort at opening a Vault”, but they had the opportunity here! What gives?! I imagine there was resistance, but it sounds like Typhon escaped with the Vault Key just fine, which is weird to me. I suppose if we’re considering opening the Vault being the be-all end-all then Atlas had opened a Vault on Pandora, too. It’s just that they never killed the Destroyer... since, well, y’all know what happened to Steele. And if we’re not considering the Destroyer’s Vault to be a tally in favor of Atlas, then perhaps something attacked those who 'opened’ the Vault and they could never actually access the things inside. It’s likely then, that their technological advances were due to basic Eridian treasure troves, like the one in Captain Scarelett’s DLC (y’know, just, without the Leviathan). 
Furthermore, we can be certain there are at maximum 3 Vault Keys at play in BL3, and minimum there’s only 1.
The one used to open the Vault on Promethea.
The ‘Vault Map’ we see in the Holy Broadcasting Center.
And the Vault Key Lilith had in Sanctuary.
Personally, I was of the theory that the Vault Key we see in the HBC is the same Vault Key from Sanctuary. It’s literally described as a map of Vaults on other worlds, which is what Lilith discovers at the end of BL2 and obviously something happened to Sanctuary before the events of BL3. Of course, its possible this is also the Vault Key used to open the Vault on Promethea, which could mean there’s only one Vault Key (weird considering it takes 200 years to naturally charge, but considering there are Sirens about that can charge the Vault Key forcibly using Eridium, not too weird. Let’s not think about the fact that Eridium only started appearing after the opening of the first Vault for now cuz im super tired lol)
“Sometimes you gotta fall before you make it big”. 
100% this is foreshadowing for the game’s story somehow and you can’t convince me otherwise.
“Whenever someone wanted to find Eridian ruins, they called me!” 
I find it kinda interesting that Tannis never mentions Typhon in BL1 in any of her ECHO logs detailing her time spend on Pandora trying to find ‘evidence of alien life’, however if this is due to DAHL not wanting to use an Atlas schmuck’s info or because the writers created his character for BL3, I’m not certain. Let’s pretend it’s the first one and move on because it really bugs me that Tannis is forced to look for evidence of alien activity on Pandora when apparently Typhon grew up there and “spent [his] childhood hunting Eridian ruins”. 
A reference to the “fire bird”. I know, I know, its a reference to a phoenix, but honestly? how fuckin’ cool would it be if this was actually a reference to the ‘Firehawk’? the mass murdering bounty hunter like the Lilith Firehawk? like if the Firehawk was actually a mythological thing in the borderlands universe. I mean, there’s a pistol called Firehawk in BL1 (y’know, before Lilith starts her cult), so I wouldn’t put it past them to pull that shit. It would kinda make sense for the bandits (who are usually DAHL workers in the first place) to start worshiping the Firehawk as a god if there was a precedent for it already. Even better if it was a dude god, which, outside of Jack not knowing Lilith was alive, could explain her usage of the voice changer.
As for my shitpost? Because you all knew it was coming....
Tannis, Tyreen, and Troy are all descendants of Typhon Deleon in one way or another.
Look at that poster. You tell me it doesn’t look like he’s wearing that giant-ass feather collar Troy’s got going on. 
All their names start with T (oh, such compelling evidence I have here, I know!)
Tannis and Typhon both have yellow goggles
Typhon is basically known as the father of all monsters lmao and he worked with Atlas and baby you KNOW im in love with the Atlas and the Calypsos theory. maybe perhapeth they used Typhon’s dna or his cryo-frozen body to create the twins and thats why they believe the vaults are their birthright, hmmmm?
but hey maybe that’s just because he helped lead to the opening of the first Vault which, y’know, lead to the opening of all the other Vaults. all of which house Vault Monsters
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clexacon · 6 years
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Here’s a full transcript of the UnConventional episodes featuring  Natasha Negovanlis and Elise Bauman. 
Huge thank you to Rebecca Soileau for doing this transcription for ClexaCon!
Opening Song
“Give me someone who loves like me, up there on the tv or movie, anything would do. Cause I’ve learned surviving isn’t living, we deserve way more than a brief romance on an episode or two, we deserve something unconventional”
Hey there Clexacon-ers! Welcome to another episode of “Un-CON-ventional”, the ClexaCon podcast! I am your host as always, Dana Piccoli and we are less than 2 months out from ClexaCon 2018! Can you even handle it? Before we head into this really really fabulous episode which I’m really excited to share with you, I do have a couple things I just want to tell you. On March 1st, which is coming up very very soon, tickets go on sale for “Breakfasts with Clexacon Guest”. And that is something you do not want to miss if you can score a ticket to. You’re going to be able to possibly be able to meet Katherine Barrell, Dominique Provost-Chalkley, Tamara Duarte, Emily Andras, Anna Silk, Natasha Negovanlis and Elise Bauman. What an incredible opportunity to dine and dish with some of your favorite, favorite stars! So keep that on your calendar, March 1st, tickets go on sale and they are going to go fast. Also on sale, speaking of good stuff, ClexaCon has added some really really cool new merch to there store! They’ve got slick, black on black and blue on blue “ClexaCon 18” shirts, they also have new hats and all sorts of cool stuff so check out there store, just click on the little store button all the way on right of their ClexaCon website and there you go and you’ll be looking ah-mazing!
I don’t want to keep these guests from you any longer because I know that your super amped about it so, we are going straight into my interviews with Natasha and Elise! Here we go!
I am very very happy to introduce my guest for this episode of “Un-CON-ventional” because they are 2 of my favorite people in the world, you know them, you love them, Natasha Negovanlis and Elise Bauman...LADIES! Thank you for being here!
Elise: I’m giving us a round of applause
Natasha: Thanks for having us
Dana: I mean come on, it was a given right? I’m gonna throw a monkey wrench into this whole thing, so dear listeners, I am not going to ask these actresses, these multi talented creative types, anything about their flagship Carmilla. No i am not.
Elise: Whaaat?!
Natasha: Whatt?!
Dana: Because I don’t know if you know this but these guys are going to be doing a “Hollstein” panel at ClexaCon so there’ll be lots and lots of Carmilla questions there. So this, this is my version of the actors studio and i'm just going to ask them all sorts of weird ass questions, and hopefully some thought provoking questions, so you can get to know them a little better as people. How do you feel about that lades?
Natasha: I feel fantastic about it
Elise: Very excited
*laughter*
Dana: Alright! So my first question: this is for both of you...
Natasha: Ok
Dana: What would you tell your 15 year old self now, if you could go back in time?
Natasha: You know what, I was thinking about this recently, actually, haha, I was thinking about it bc I was taking a painting class with my mom and I was thinking about how i'm more a  creative person than someone who can follow instructions and I think if I could go back in time I would maybe tell my 15 year old self that she doesn't have to go to university. Um, here in Canada, university and college are different things, so what we call university, I guess yall call college but college and university are different here so usually when your very academic and a straight A student, it’s expected that you go to university to get a degree. But I think that um yea, I think I would tell my 15 year old that it would be ok to like go to an acting school or go do a diploma program instead. That being said, I don't have any regrets. But I think I would tell myself and also tell young people now that it's ok if you learn differently from others. Yea, I don’t know something that just popped into my head recently.
Elise: I am into it. And I would probably tell young Elise that she could just skip over the vegan stage that she was in for a brief while.
*laughter*
Elise: There was like a year and ½ that I just went without dairy and you know like why? Why..
Dana: You would tell young Elise to eat that ice cream girl, eat it!
Elise: Cheese is a great invention. I understand that humans are like probably incapable of digesting it very well and like it probably really bad for environment and like cheese pizza is a great thing so that’s probably the sage wisdom I would gift young Bauman.
Dana: *laughing* I would expect nothing less from you Elise. So eat cheese.
Elise: Eat the dairy, don’t forgo the yogurt. The whole course of my life could’ve been very different. I’m kidding. It was great, it was a great time. Nothing against vegans, vegans are great people! Gonna get a lot of backlash for this.
Dana: Now’s she’s backtracking. *laughing* So speaking of food, if you and Natasha were attending a dinner party, what do you think the other one would bring?
Natasha: oohh
Elise: I would say Natasha would maybe, I mean this is a little on the nose, but maybe like a greek salad.
*laughing*
Elise: But like a REAL greek salad! Like real, authentic feta cheese and all that good stuff. Either that or she would go straight to like a meat platter. Be like alot of cured...
Dana: Just like lamb on a stick or something?
Elise: No it would be, like it would be really nice. She would have hand selected a bunch of really nice meats and pickles and cheeses and she’d thrown like, a good platter.
Dana: So she’d be like the queen of charcuterie?
Elise: Charcuterie! Thats what its called. Yea yea yea, she would do that. It would be on a really nice wooden board or something.
Natasha: Ooohhh that’s very accurate. I think I would do something like that or at least some ingredients for someone else’s charcuterie board, for sure. Some like, preserves or something. Um yea i don't think I’d bring a salad because no one likes the girl who brings the salad
*laughing*
Natasha: Also it would be a little be cheap of me too, you know? I think, to let it impress. Also I have a secret, culturally i'm not greek, but I do make a mean greek salad, my family's macedonia.
Dana: Macedonia!
Natasha: So the food is actually terrible, it's like boiled potatoes and overcooked flavorless meat.
Elise: Nobody wants to be the girl with salad, but especially nobody wants to be the girl with the boiled potatoes.
“laughing”
Natasha: Yea I brought you some boiled potatoes, hahaha. I think that Elise would bring like some hummus, some appetizers for before dinner. Like some really good hummus, maybe some kale chips, or she would just bring her own separate meal that she would eat out of her own tupperware while everyone else is eating. Which like I secretly do admire because I wish that I had Elise’s discipline. No or she’d surprised everyone and bring a really nice dessert actually, like a good pie.
Elise: Ooohhh yea! I baked a pumpkin pie recently, it was a good time.
Natasha: Yea
Elise: Yea, alright I like that, I like that. I think we should throw a dinner party. I think that's really where this is going.
All: yea!
Elise: Make a mental note, make sure Elise doesn't bring kale chips
Dana:  Alright Natasha, what's the biggest misconception about you?
Natasha: I think the biggest misconception is that i'm extremely vain and/or high maintenance. And I was thinking about this, I don’t know if its my bone structure or what but I was thinking about this recently and its interesting that a lot of people who take care of their appearance, or are really good at self care are perceived as high maintenance because my being good at taking care of myself means that i dont need alot from other people! Know what im sayin?
Elise: Ha. “know what im sayin.”
Natasha: I think that would be one. I’m not so fancy. I think that's the biggest misconception that i’m fancier-
Elise: She's into fancy cured meats but nothing else.
Natasha: ...that im fancier than i am, but i mean,
Dana: But she’s not like using them as facial hydration or like...
Elise: Yea.
Natasha: That's what i use greek salad for.
*laughter*
Dana: It’s astringent, it works.
Dana: What about you Elise, what is the biggest misconception about you?
Elise: Mmmm, I think probably somewhere around, I think people think im only ever a positive person, which may be a bit of a far stretch sometimes (she says laughing). I think I have a lot more aggression than people realize,
Dana: “Although she is little, she is fierce” is what you’re saying?
Elise: Yea something like that.
Dana: Do you have a punching bag, something you can work with?
Elise: I don't have a punching bag, I just signed up for soccer again! I signed up for a soccer team.
Natasha: That's awesome
Elise: Yeah I used to play soccer from maybe like 10 until high school and I loved it and it was definitely my sport and then I, well i just stopped playing after high school because there weren't many opportunities to play. And I have terrible knees, but that's not stopping me so i'm going to go do another stint at soccer. Just for fun. I think I need that outlet. I think I really need to get back to my tomboy roots. I've been feeling that way a lot lately. I’m like “why am I trying so hard to be this other thing? I don't know.” So I’m going to go back on the field.
Dana: I love how this shit got really deep right there.
*laughter*
Dana: See there was a method to my madness guys! Ok so, what is the question that you’ve always wanted an answer to, but have yet to get one?
Elise: What happens after we die? Like thats been a huge one since I was a kid.
Dana: I think that's pretty fair.
Elise: I thinks that's really what is the meaning, why am I here, what the point, what’s the purpose?
*laughing*
Elise: You know, things like that, generally what I think about on a Wednesday afternoon.
*laughing*
Elise: Natasha?
Natasha: I was just going to say, how one changes their fitted sheet when they are by themselves?
Elise: Or.. How one folds a fitted sheet!? That is something  would love an answer to.
Natasha: Yes. Im sure there are YouTube tutorials for this, but putting a fitted sheet on a bed when you're one person is so tricky. Because as soon as you tuck one side in, the other side lifts up..or like putting your duvet cover on.
Elise: Oh yea
Dana: Oh the worst! And then you get trapped in the duvet cover when your by yourself
Natasha: Yea!
Dana: Then you just hope someone comes to the door, like UPS.
Elise: That one i figured out, you have to like lie the whole thing down on your floor and then take the two corners and then like pull it over and it's a logs and anyway...
Natasha: The germaphobe in me does not like that. I’d think of the dog and it would be like, ugh on my floor. Although he does sleep in my bed technically, so what's the difference?
Elise: Oh yea a dog.
Dana: I’d introduce you to my dog right now but she's currently snoring and farting, simultaneously
*laughing*
Natasha: Amazing!
Dana: Ok ,what are you guys nostalgic about?
Elise: Pogs
Dana: Pogs? Like the little paper things?
Elise: You can get medal ones too or plastic ones
Dana: Oh haha pardon me!
Elise: You were really fancy if you got a metal pog, that’s when you know you made it.
Natasha: Oh yea
Dana: But what’s the purpose of pogs? Like what did pogs do?
Natasha: It was a game!
Elise: Um, elevated, like your self worth as a human. *Laughter* Like you know, feeling really blue today, but let me just look at my pog collection and know I feel alot better about my outlook
Dana: Did you throw them? I don’t, I remember pogs but i didn’t play with them. But what did you do with them? Did you just throw the little pieces of cardboard, excuse me, metal?
Elise: I think you just hoarded them and like compared your pogs to other kids.
Natasha: Nooo it was a game, it was like a serious game guys, there were tournaments!
Dana: Is this, were pogs more popular in Canada? I’m starting to think they were.
Elise: That and Tamagotchis, Tamagotchis were the it thing for a while.
Natasha: Yea
Elise: But I killed all my pets so I wasn’t very good at that one. I would set my alarm and wake up at 3 am and be like “I gotta water this thing again?” and it’d be dead by 7 am the next day. Yeaa
*laughter*
Dana:  What about you Natasha? Are you nostalgic about pogs are is there something else that really gets your nostalgia button?
Natasha: Oohh I don’t know, I mean, gosh, I get really nostalgic over children's choral music.
*laughter*
Natasha: I was a choir nerd so I can’t hear children’s choirs without getting very emotional. And then I can’t listen to it. Or like really obscure like choir folk music. Because I used to go, I used to compete in competitions with my choir and like travel across North America and yea. There’s this one cd we have of, it was like, my choir sang with like ten other choirs from all across North America and it was this massive church and we were all, it wasn’t, it just happened to be in a church, they weren't religious choirs, but we were like all along the outside of the aisles and in the balconies and I just remember it was a really cool experience having hundred and hundreds of voices under 12 coming together. So yea, whenever I hear kids choral music, especially around the holiday times if there's something playing. I don't love the holiday season but if there's something with a  kids choir I get really nostalgic cause my best childhood memories were surrounded by choir and singing so yea.
Dana: That's really sweet. Alright super serious question here guys, have you ever seen a ghost?
Elise: Yes I have.
Natasha: Whoa what!
Dana: What? Tell us who was it, what ghost was it, where was it? I want details, I want everything.
Elise: I’ve seen a couple ghosts. I was a kid and a lady ghost just flew over my bed one day, well not flew, it was just kind of like there, I don’t know. And then another time I was in a church and I saw a man in like a uniform or something walk by and then I was like what the, so I went into room but there were no doors leading out of that room so I was like “probably a ghost, probably a ghost”.
Dana: Did your sightings of ghosts stop as you got older?
Elise: Yes, yea. I only saw the 2 when I was a kid. Maybe they weren't real, maybe they were figments of my imagination.
Dana: Or you were really intuitive as a kid and you were open to it. I think a lot of kids see things that adults turn their minds off to.
Elise: Totally. I totally think that are other parallel realms going on and we can kind of pop in and out of them occasionally.
Dana: What about you Natasha? Have you ever seen a ghost? A spirit? Poltergeist?
Natasha: No i’ve never seen one, I think i’ve shut myself off to that stuff so. But a medium did once tell me that i had a posse of ghosts around me, she did not use the word posse (laughter) but there were many spirits around me that were not related to me and that I didn’t know and I was like “oh that’s disturbing”
*laughter*
Natasha: Particularly there's this little girl ghost that follows me around and I was like ok, not the most terrifying of the ghosts.
Dana: The good thing is you’re never alone.
*laughter*
Dana: Why aren't they helping you with your f***ing fitted sheet though is my question?
*laughter*
Natasha: Yea, like who’s refilling the ice cube tray, come on ghost posse!
Natasha: But weirdly enough both my mom and my brother saw the same thing in the house I used to live im. They used to see this dark shadow that was darker than a shadow move across my basement wall in the same spot and they hadn't told each other until years later because my brother was a really little kid when he saw it and my mom saw it but she didn't really believe in that stuff. Then like years later my brother had mentioned it and it was really strange that they both saw the same thing without and had described the exact same thing without talking to each other about it. So that was kind of bizarre.
“Scary Music”
Dana: Next question.
Natasha: I like these questions.
Elise: I know. I’m into this I like this. This is fun.
Dana: : Let's talk about failure.
*laugher*
Natasha: Oh great! How much time do we have?
Dana: Says one of the most successful actresses working today. So what is a time that you failed spectacularly but learned a lot?
Elise:  Oh god like every day.
Natasha:  Yea, I was gonna say, every day
Elise:  Im really, this is very interesting. I have like an allergic aversion to failure. I really don't like for people to see me failing in any capacity. Which leads me to put up a front of “I've got it all together, everything's fine, dont worry about a thing”. Which is not always the case because I’m a human being and I don’t think I know any human beings who have it all together. But I was thinking about this the other day. Because the emotion I remember the strongest of being a kid is embarrassment. When I think about times I got embarrassed as a kid, I will still get a flush in my cheeks. For whatever reason, that is still such a pungent thing I can connect to being a kid and I think a driving force has been me trying to avoid that feeling. Which has led me to make safe choices a lot and do things, which really goes against my nature. By nature I’m a person who is a risk taker, who is a person who puts themselves on the line so i'm trying, it's really interesting that your bringing that up, because that’s something i’ve been thinking about a lot the past couple weeks is fearlessness and failure and wanting to really re-evaluate my relationships to those words.
Natasha: Yea, so well said. I think that I also fail on a daily basis but learn from it every time. You know it's interesting because I was also a very studious young person who always wanted to succeed and do really well at things, and I remember when you were talking about nostalgia and we were talking about choirs, I have this memory of me in this voice competition between, I took a year off between highschool and university and I was in this really serious voice competition and I had to sing like 8 different pieces all by memory and four different languages from particular years. It was the most intense thing I had ever done, this huge national competition. And in the middle of one my songs I forgot the words and I forgot the words for the first time ever in my life in the middle of this really intense competition and I stopped. And I remember I wanted to just fall and run out of the room but I just looked over the  shoulder and I looked up and I started again and then I did the rest of my piece after that and then of course immediately threw up when I left the room. I was so humiliated than I had ever been, I think that’s my most embarrassing moment that I blocked out for a long time and i’ve never been so so humiliated. But I had to stick around for hours because all these professores were adjudicating it, and I ended up coming in 1st place and I remember being so shocked and the reason why is because of how I was able to recover and it was really amazing. It was a really great lesson just when your talking about failure and what you learn from it. It was a really great lesson in that its ok to make mistakes and its ok to not be perfect and it’s really about how you dealt with it. And I remember how the professors were like “Yes, you forgot the words, but you were able to keep going, even though you wanted to cry, you were able to get through the rest of your pieces flawlessly and you composed yourself so well”. So I think that was a really good lesson in that you don't always have to thrive for perfection all the time.
Elise: Totally
Natasha: Yeah, have little universal reminders of that everyday.
Elise: Even like setting your alarm and sleeping in. I failed, i’ve already failed at the getting up at the time i said i was going to get up. Like there are moments of little failures throughout the day yea risk. That's another thing, i have to risk the failure too.
Dana: Can i share my failure with you?
Both: Yes please!
Dana: So you may know that I used to work at this website and I loved it and I was very devoted and after I did this event for this little show called Carmilla, I came home and I got a phone call from my big boss that my position was going to be eliminated. After I had worked, you know, really really hard to establish myself in this position, and I was so humiliated by it that I didn’t leave my room for 2 days.  All I could think was “i’m nothing without this job” like I cease to exist, who Dana Piccoli is ceases to exist now that this job is over. I was so worried what people would think of me, would they think that I sucked, would they think that I wasn’t good at what I was doing and I was so nervous about facing up to it. But what I think I learned through all that is that who I am is more than any job and what I do and what I’m trying to do, what I’m trying to give is bigger than all of that. And I think it really made me a stronger person, it made me a stronger writer, it made me a much more intuitive, empathic person to because I failed spectacularly in front of the internet, and the lesbian and queer internet who I had become very intimately connected with. So, that humiliation, that failure, led to me being who I am today and it's something im proud of and I’m happy with. So thats my big failure that I learned from.
Elise: Your sense of worth and external things, those things can be blown down like a house of cards in an instant and so if I haven’t developed the things that are in me then when those things do inevitably fall down, such as aging, like if I place so much value in my looks then im you know all of a sudden those by nature start to lessen. Um, then yea like I think that's just so on point what you said about how I though i didn’t have any value outside of this external thing. That's something i'm really trying to work on right now too. Like whoa  whoa, what have I placed my own value in? And then what is it actually outside of those things, you know? Yea that’s so good.
Dana: Alright, let's go into something slightly lighter than that. What's the best thing you've ever bought yourself with your own hard earned cash? Or loonies, loonies I should say!
And it doesn't have to be a big thing. But it's a thing that your like I bought this with my own damn money and hard work.
Elise: I think for me, maybe not a thing necessarily, but coming to LA for this winter, that's where I am right now, that's been a big thing for me, is taking these few months off of working to be here and really focus on what I want to be focusing on. Also I went through a brief stint of buying some really awesome New Balance sneakers and i’ve got a few pairs now and i’m just really loving my collection of sneakers.
Natasha: Oh man. I think one of the biggests misconceptions about our type of internet fame or how we got “famous” is our followers equal dollar signs
*laughter*
Dana: We know that Natasha.
Natasha: Well I was going to say, im in so much student debt because I put myself through 3 years of school that I still live paycheck to paycheck. That I would say that my ability to pay my rent every month and not worry about paying rent anymore is a really wonderful accomplishment and I also recently closed off one of my student lines of credit sooo...
Elise: Nice!
Dana: Congratulations!
Natasha: Simple, I’m like oh my credit score has gone up and improved greatly and I was able to buy myself eye glasses so that I could see again, and I might go to the dentist this week.
Dana: It’s the little things!
Natasha: Yes! So I think it’s humble adulting. And being able to adopt my doggie and take care of him responsibly. I think that's like the best thing.
Elise: Yea they can be expensive.
Natasha: Yea, they can. I mean he’s not so fancy but he’s better dressed than I am.
Dana: Mine’s costing me a fortune!
Dana: Ok so final question before I get to always final question. Where is your happy place?
Natasha: One of my happy places, because I really can’t choose just one, it depends on where i’m at in my life and what I need in that moment, you know, my happy place is most of the time on set, when i’m doing my job and doing a job that I love and i’m on set, thats like the best feeling in the world. But outside of work, I’d say, I still work at a farmers market for no real reason and I do that every 2 weeks or so or once a month with one of my best friends that I used to work in his restaurant when I was a starving artist and yea. I think just seeing the same faces i've been seeing for the last 5 years getting my hands dirty, and selling like wholesome and organic food, it's just really nice. It really is one of my happy places and I call it my therapy because for a moment I can go and like just be girl selling pie and eating delicious food and catching up on life with my friends and it’s so nice to have something that forces me to wake up in the morning and be accountable and show up. I don’t know. It really is just one of my happiest places. There's always street performers and musicians that play every week and there's always that great music like someone playing accordion and it such a Toronto thing too but it’s just so cute. There’s all these families around that are all mixed race and speaking different languages and there’s just a really nice peaceful vibe to that particular market that i enjoy. So yea, that's one of them.
Elise: I’m just a girl, standing in front of a pie, asking it to lover her.
*laughter*
Natasha: I do that every time I’m there
Elise: Ah man thats too funny. Where is my happy place? Um I went to Joshua Tree this Christmas and fell in love with it there, its so beautiful. I went rock climbing with my brother. Like any time im outdoors in nature that's when I really feel like most connected to my higher self and the planet and the universe and all that good stuff. So yea but I mean, I generally live in giant garbage ridden disgusting cities, like NY and Toronto and LA. I don’t really get that alot. So those moments when I am outdoors, like I went snowshoeing up on these mountains with my friends in BC over Christmas and yea those are def my happy places.
Dana: You guys are such beautiful souls.
Elise: Someone just recently, not told me, because I knew they existed but baths man! Baths are so underrated. I haven't had a bath since I was kid probably….Natasha’s face right now is like ugh ugh. But baths are just so relaxing! I had one the other night and I was like this is really great. You guys are so not on board, just trust me! Put some epsom salt, light a couple of candles, you might surprise yourself.
Natasha: No. I’ve tried to take baths all the time and i've just accepted that i don't enjoy them. Everytime i do it im like why am I forcing myself to do this? Because i'm going to be like 30 in a few years and society tells us that women loves baths. Like, no.
Dana: Not only do we love baths, we love eating yogurt in baths.
Natasha: Yea
Dana: All I  can think about is getting epsom salts up my who-ha, that’s not relaxing to me.
Natasha: No, sitting in my own filth and having to stare at my naked body and like accept my body issues is absolutely not! And also being confined to a small space and being wet, im not about like water, im like no, no.
*laughter*
Dana: So to hell with your bath Elise, your happy place.
Elise: Well thanks for ruining my happy place.
Dana: We just made it a sad place.
Natasha: Hey to each their own, no judgment. I get the concept of the bath
Dana: You guys are heading to Vegas, soon, as am I. As are the many people who are listening to this. Was last year your first time in Vegas?
Natasha: It was.
Elise: It was indeed.
Dana: So I always ask everyone at the end of the podcast, what their favorite things about Vegas are and what would they recommend? I know your guys were really busy and you didn’t have a lot of downtime, but did you get to do anything where you were like, this is kind of crazy fun!?
Natasha: We had a really nice time in the artist alley. We went to some cool vintage shops and went to a really nice cafe, that I think was really more our speed. Elise and I are really similar in that we take our jobs pretty seriously and want to be in high spirits, so I feel like all the bartenders and like restaurant folks hated us because we were like “We’ll just have water and a salad.”
*laughter*
Natasha: And went in at like 10 every night but I did see a Cirque du Soleil show that was incredible! I saw “Love” and i’m so glad that i did it. I was like when in rome, im going to go see a show even though it was past my bedtime and...
Elise: I was so mad I didn’t go to that.
Natasha: Yea, like the word spectacle, that's what it was, it was spectacular. Cirque du Soleil is always amazing but the fact that it’s in a theater that's built specifically for the show, everything was seamless and flawless, from the lighting design to like even the technical cues, like someone in a booth cue-ing them up and they’re seamless. The dancing was amazing. I saw “Love” so it’s all Beatles music, which I love so much, so yea it was really fantastic. I hope I get to see another show this year.
Elise: I’ll be down, lets go, lets do it.
Natasha: The performances were just like really really amazing. I also just love the desert. I love dry climate and I love desert life but I’m not as into debauchery as my. I don't know what it is man, I don't know what people think im like.
Dana: I’ve spent numerous evening and experiences with you and I would never describe you as debaucherous.
*laugher*
Natasha: No, i know i know! I think I had a brief moment in time like 7-6 years ago and then I was like cool, im good
*laughter*
Dana: So what about you Elise, besides the slot machines?
Elise: Artist alley was pretty rad, there's all these crazy old vintage stores just chalk full of weird Vegas antiques.
Natasha: Yeah.
Elise: So that was pretty cool. The strip itself is not really my jam, but I don’t know, I mean I’m not really there to see, im more there to meet people and hang out and yea. Im really looking forward to it, Vegas was such a good time last year.
Natasha: Yea, I mean I enjoyed the convention itself so much, I think its my most favorite one I’ve done so.
Dana: Oh yay!
Natasha: I’m really looking forward to it again this year, more than the city. It could be anywhere and I would enjoy it.
Dana: Do you hear that ClexaCon? Next year we could be in Iowa!
Elise: Let’s not push things Dana
*laughter*
Dana: No offense Iowa! I’ve been to you, you’re lovely. Well thank you to the two of you, you are always so thoughtful and interesting and funny and i’ve probably interviewed you guys a gazillion times but it's always a new and interesting experience!
Elise: Thank you for having us, this was fun!
Natasha: Yeah you always have the best questions!
Elise: You really do, we sometimes have the same questions all the time.
Dana: I know you do so you going to see the 3 of us, well the 2 of them and i'll be there too at the Hollstein panel at ClexaCon. Not sure what day it is yet but they're going to be there. And where can our listeners find you on social media if they aren't already following you, which im sure they are
Elise: @baumanelise and that is now both the same on Instagram and Twitter because I was a baby when I made my twitter and it involved numbers and it really didn't need too so it's all matching now.
Natasha: You can find me on Instagram and Twitter @natvanlis, my first name and then my last name mushed together! That’s it!
*laughter*
Dana: Oh well, you guys have a wonderful next couple of what... we have less than 60 days until ClexaCon?
Natasha: Really? Time flies.
Elise: I gotta start packing.
Dana: It does. I know right? I have all my outfits planned out. I have a spreadsheet with my outfits on it.
Natasha: That’s impressive! Can you come over and do that for me please?
Elise: Organizational queen-ness right there!  That is awesome.
Natasha: That's amazing. Elise and I usually have a crisis the night before amd
call each other or meet up in our hotel rooms and up wearing like running shoes and a t-shirt
Dana: Please! You guys looked amazing last year.
Elise: Looking back on what I've worn, it really does look like there's not been a lot of planning in there.
Dana: You goobers. Every time I've seen you you look amazing.
I’m going pink, so the next time you see me i'll have dark pink, ombre hair so crossing my finger that that works out
Natasha: oooohhh! I hope it works out better than my bangs.
*laughter*
That is going to do it for this episode of “unCONventional”. Thank you so much for listening!
Are really liking “unCONventional”? Then do a us favor and leave a review, tell some friends, tweet about it, we’d really really appreciate it. You can find ClexaCon on Twitter, Facebook and tumblr @clexacon. You can find me, Dana Piccoli on Twitter @dandpiccoli. And our theme music, our wonderful theme music is by Stephanie Berlanga and you can find her at stephanieberlangamusic.com. We are so close you guys, we are so so close, we are going to have one more episode  before the show and planning to do a live taping like I mentioned last week so looking forward very much to that. Until the next time we meet, here's Dana Piccoli swearing fealty to you.
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matazz · 3 years
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entries
diary entries of roy endoza
here’s some journal entries of roy endoza that i wrote for the duration of the campaign. for the most part, i kinda wrote these in my twitter drafts just to write down roy’s thoughts. sometimes to remember events that happened, and sometimes just to vent out roy’s feelings to myself. i ended up saving these on a document for safe keeping and i’m glad i wrote these.
‪entry 47‬
‪i miss milo so much. his laugh, his eyes, his smile. i would do anything to have that back.‬ ‪i know its my fault he’s gone. its only been a few months, but i’ll fix that; all of it. no matter how long it takes, no matter what happens. i’ll find some way to do it.‬ ‪entry 53‬ ‪i’ve retrieved a letter from a dream telling me to visit latham and retrieve a key. i’m curious, so i’ll check it eventually. it was definitely odd.‬ ‪entry 55‬ ‪i met a young boy. his name is fox. he’s some sort of shapeshifter. he’s quiet, but his presence is nice company. he also received a similar letter to mine. i have a feeling we’ll be travelling for a while.‬ ‪entry 62‬ ‪we retrieved the key & met some other ppl with letters too. we’re heading to a trinket store back in origin now. i dont wish for them to know of my life so i’ve found a way to steer them as far from possible to finding out about myself. i’ll probably visit ma too.‬ ‪entry 63‬ ‪an elf woman named leera attacked us after i told her i wasnt going to give her this key. i dont like her. she seemed very cocky.‬ ‪entry 65‬ ‪delilah is kind.. i feel like i’m able to trust her. i asked her a question about my goals, vaguely, and it turns out that ayce asked a similar question. based on the message in his later i get the feeling he’s undead.‬ ‪entry 66‬ ‪i told ayce the biggest con in all of history.. but i confirmed he’s undead. i have more hope in my goals now that i know its possible. he hugged me bc he thinks we’re similar. i dont usually allow people to do that but i’m sad for him. i wish i could ask more about him. ‬‪entry 69‬ ‪i’m getting closer to ayce, unexpectedly, but good for me. i need his information.‬ ‪he talks to me a lot about his life; i think he’s become dependent on me which is easy for me. its hard for him to see i’m using him when i lie to his face.‬ ‪entry 72‬ ‪we’re travelling to copper coast now for another key. if it werent for ayce, i wouldnt see any other reason for me to come. fox is still around, but i feel like he's doing his own thing. the other two arent big presences for me to care about.‬ ‪entry 73‬ ‪atlas is a werewolf? i didnt think those were real. this group keeps getting stranger. first a shapeshifter, second an actual living zombie, third a werewolf.‬ ‪ive continued my lie to the rest of them. they all seem to have believed me, strangely enough‬ ‪entry 74‬ ‪copper coast was very pleasant. i wish to come back someday.‬ ‪entry 88‬ ‪this trip to clandesteine has been a disaster.. what the honest fuck‬ just happened ‪entry 90‬ ‪fox told everybody about himself, finally. i feel this huge sense of pride?? i’m very proud of him. i dont understand why i feel so attached to him but i adore him so much‬ ‪entry 92‬ ‪((incoherent scribbles, kinda like “vsdjfsasifwnqkosdkv”)) i think i accidentally implied to ayce that i love him romantically and i think he loves me too... i’m freaking out and i dont know how to react... i think he thinks i’m cool and romantic but i didnt mean to be. ‪entry 93‬ in all honesty, i just wanted to tell him he needs to be more cautious of me. a part of me wishes he could figure it out himself so i dont have to tell him. ‪seriously! i dont know how i did that! i do love and adore him too but i feel like shit.. i dont deserve him, especially considering who i am. on the other hand, i hope he never finds out the truth about me.‬ ‪entry 94‬ ‪oh my god. atlas killed a man and ayce and fox proceeded to tell the guards. i feel sick. i’m currently at home but if they say my name at witness testimony i’m royally fucked. i dont know. i might just run for it and live in myr’s peak. maybe no one will find me.‬ ‪entry 95‬ ‪the group managed to get bailed out using ty’s name. benefits of being friends with rich people?‬ ‪fox found my poster though, so he saved my name during eyewitness testimony. i told him the truth. its been the first time i told someone how i really felt. he wants me to tell ayce but hes the last person i can tell. ‪entry 97‬ ‪we’re in lunarden! it feels nostalgic to be back.
i want to go back to every place i miss. i took ayce to that me and nori used to go to back in high school. i think shes currently performing in solardome? i miss her‬ entry 97.2 ‪i came up with a few different ways to complete my goal. i have a few more probing questions, but i will have to ask later. i think i’m getting closer to the answers‬ entry ‪97.3‬ ((scribbled out)) ‪i havent had sex in a while. i’ve wondered this before but realized it was an inappropriate question to ask. i wonder if ayce’s dick works? it probably doesnt. this is so sad. i dont know how i’m going to fuck him if thats true.. yikes‬ ‪entry 98‬ ‪i’m planning to get completely smashed once we get to solardome. i feel like i deserve it.. ive been pretty stressed and havent got laid. i’m crying remembering that ayce might not even be an option.‬ ‪entry 98.2 ((lost)) ‪i love ayce so much, and its confusing. am i just sexually frustrated? am i just lonely? am i just sad? i feel guilty because it tears me apart. im confused because i love milo still, too. i know i should tell him the truth, its whats right but i know he’ll hate me. i dont know what to do. (extra note inbetween the pages, torn out: to mom. i love you venhfrhdy mcuh. thank you fir everhything. yes. roy.) entry 98.3 what happens if i succeed? i hope ayce doesnt kill me. entry 100 ‪good morning. ayce & i are officially dating. were in solardome atm; i dont remember much of last night but i remember thinking he‘s beautiful. is it wrong to fall for him?‬ ‪entry 101‬ ‪good evening. i saw ms winters. she was undead, just like ayce. she died a year ago. her soul was lost though. i killed what remained of her undead corpse. i assume she was trying to remain in this world.. i’m scared that this will happen to him too. maybe ill have to do the same to him. entry 101.2 i hope ayce's soul is able to sustain in his body for longer. i cant afford to lose him. entry 101.3 ‪the blackness on my fingers has risen up more than it has before. its almost hard to write with my hands anymore. i assume its bc the gods know what i'm doing & are against it, so they're trying to give me more recoil than usual. but the last time i killed an undead corpse was in my house 6 months ago, and i promise that the last time i will use it is when i bring milo back. (torn note inbetween the pages: hi ayce. its unrealistic you'll ever find this but there's some things i want to say. back when we first met, i lied to you as a reflex when you asked me why i'm dealing with necromancy. to be honest, i could kind of gather you were undead, but i still lied anyway. my story is personal, its hard for me to be honest. i know i'm an idiot, and i'm sorry i used you. to be truthful, i still am a horrible person and for the entirety of our relationship i've already known that i was using you and i've felt so guilty about that. my feelings are complicated, but i've never lied when i said i loved you, and i still do; but i still want to bring milo back. i made a mistake and i want to fix that. the truth is that i still love him too. i know you deserve better. i'm sorry about lying to you. roy) entry 102 a dragon made us experience our dreams and nightmares. jade's scared of blindness and bugs. a valid fear, in a way. and she was dreaming of doing shows. i think it was supposed to display a feeling of happiness and joy, but it was just spooky since we all experienced her dreams with no sound. i never realized how scary it was to be deaf until i experienced it. atlas' was morbid. people were dying and there was so much gore. then there were people saying they owned him. i knew he was a bad person but it was scary to see all of that again. he dreamt of a workshop with a girl and a young boy. it seemed sweet, with a tinge of nostalgia. i would have never expected him to have dreams. he just seems like a horrible person with no sympathy to me, but i guess he has feelings. i still think he should go to jail, but i feel like he'll just try to kill me if i say anything instead. fox's was sad. we got thrown into a void
of empty space where we were surrounded only by dopplegangers and a vaguely humanoid figure. he seemed so lonely and upset. he's scared of being forgotten by us and that made me so sad. i adore him, and he's grown a lot since we first met. i gave him a hug when we went into his dream sequence. i hope he knows i will never forget him. his dream was sweet. he just wants to save people and hang out with us still. i think he'll go far, and i would love to be there for him still when all of this is over.c (the rest of the pages with entry 102 are torn out) when i saw milo in the old house again just being his happy lovely self i felt miserable and happy at the same time. i love him so much, and i knew i missed him already but seeing him again just made me feel so much love for him all over again. it just makes me miss him more. it's hard not to cry thinking about what i've done to him. i wish he could come back. ayce's was hard to watch. i witnessed myrkul force ayce to choose between killing me and quri. ayce cried as he couldn't make up his mind, and then i watched as i fell into a void. i felt sick and i wanted to puke. i thought ayce found out about me. i thought he knew that i was using him for necromancy, but when i asked him about it, he told me that he thought i killed him with quri. i... personally don't have any reason to ever kill him so that was a bit sickening to think of. i dont ever want to kill anyone. i dont even have anyone i hate enough to want to murder. the only person i hate enough to want to kill is me. i know based on what i said before i guess it might have seemed that bad; but haha... i would never ever want to do that. putting people down at hospital was rough. god, putting ms winters down was rough and she was already dead. i love him, but it's probably better if we end the relationship and just stay as friends? he's already witnessed me still loving milo, and he thinks i murdered him... i'll try to clear up his misunderstanding, but it'll be hard to without giving more of myself away. this relationship has so many problems. entry 103 a new discovery. the world isn't flat? the god's are using their powers to “lock off” the rest of the world. apparently sanctuary is only a small part of the world. that was a really weird discovery to find out? it's kind of hard to believe, but at the same time, not. apparently they keys we've been collecting hold the respective power of the gods, and they're used to “open” the gateway. i have no idea what that means. apparently beshaba wants to use our keys to do exactly that. and also they can kill the god's? entry 112 when we came back to lunarden we discovered that delilah and allen were kidnapped by atlas’ syndicate. i knew atlas was trouble. i hate having to associate with him. we’re going to save them yet it makes me nervous. entry 114 i feel like i almost died in there. we saved the others and no one was hurt though. we’re going to trip back to lunarden and then travel through the travel gates back to origin to try avoid people. allen mentioned something about strange readings. i have a feeling i know what it is. i’m going to ask lathandar questions. entry 115 nvm we encountered leera. this group genuinely scares me. I’m travelling with people who are down with murder. i should seperate. she uncovered my posters to them and i want to die. she also mentioned the last key at a ball. i need to bounce. lathandar also confirmed my suspicions last night. entry 116 fox left before i could. i feel bad. like maybe it was my fault. i miss him. we have to continue though. entry 117 its so hard to find a bag of holding. i just want to have this spirit stone around without having it in the open. entry 118 we’re in origin now and delilah let me rent out her bag of holding. an absolute kind soul. we bought tickets to the ball. so expensive. i wish i didnt do that. entry 123 i’ve done so much in preperation of whats to come. Soon. i hope it works. i’m going to travel to solardome and investigate those readings. entry 124 suspicions
confirmed. miss winters is alive. she captured my biological father. a strange way to meet him. i cant see him as my father. i told her about the key, and we’re going to rearrange our circle. we’ll still use the spirit stones, just as a backup. i’m scared. i’m terrified. i dont know if it will work and i dont know what will happen if it does. i know the gods will be mad but i’ll deal with the consequences when it happens. i’m sure i won’t be a champion anymore. we’re doing this on friday evening, which means i’m no longer attending the gala. they don’t need my assistance anyway.
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wang-yeon · 7 years
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Silver Lining| Min Yoongi
Life has its hardships especially being fresh out of college luckily you have a gummy smiled friend to help you with your struggles. You managed getting a shabby apartment with a shared bedroom and when worst comes ends up having to share a cold shower as the warm water is shut off. Things arent going so pleasant as the electricity follows off too but the most treacherous of all, you being able to face what your feelings might actually hold. But your just friends right?
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Warning: Smut, cursing, stuff, Best friend Yoongi!, So much friendly bickering like damn just fuck already
Genre: Smut and fluff
Word count: 13.2K Got a little carried away..
A/N: A wild update appears. Okay this damn comeback needs to back the fuck up. Yoongi looks like a meal and bighit is now becoming a jin stan everything it beautiful. School sucks thats the main reason my updates are late as hell. also i found this promt on pintrest but switched some shit. ALSO i am supposed to be doing homework but needed to update please pray for my grades. ALso my teacher was talking about college and im not even a senior so you need to calm the fuck down with that damn word. Okay im done
Oh and you know i had to get a blue hair yoongi on the screen.
Having a longing companion was a necessity to a longing life. Having someone to share the necessitates you were used to sharing alone. The feeling of having another comforting body against your side defeating the odds always seemed appealing. It was often rare for something to come along like so. You would rather find a needle in a hay stack then finding something as extraordinary as other couples demonstrate so. It was never an easy task to accomplish as everyone seeks for so, making your chances limited.
I soon accepted this fate and decided on second best, another companion that seemingly resembled the same. A best friend was well suited for my need, as they held the same traits but still remained rather different. A significant other held the qualities of love and romance as a best friend held the traits of honesty loyalty and bundles of fun. No argumentative sides or going a long period without talking as being away from the seemed like the end of your whole soul. I needed someone to rely on and cherish without that sexual desire yet it seemed almost impossible to find. I was hovering over ever possibility i could get, still lost in the endless hay stack.
Problems and situations seem to work out for you as soon as you stop seeking for the alternative, this played in my favor. I had reached the start of my first college class. The stress had already been pending the feeling of venting to someone was much needed. I took a quick seat near the door hoping to plan my escape as soon as it all ended. I was one of the very last people to enter the room before a loud closing door drove the dread from my head. The room had already been filled with eager students ready for the ending of the class already. Most students were held in the front taking in the professors important words while I sat in the back struggling to keep up with ever aspect he covered. Meaning that there was much more available seating held in the back, conveniently directed next to me.
The boy who most definitely appeared to be late to class sat next to me carting a seemingly big coffee cup filled with a strange substance that didn't seem to be coffee. The professor didnt bat an eye to his presence as he continued his lesson for the people who seemed to be paying attention. He went on about useless things that i managed to keep track with ignoring the cramp in my hand before the boy beside me decided to make his input.
"I'm going to fuck die due to this class."
He took a long drag of his drink displayed in his coffee cup letting out a small belch. I chuckled at his statement as i had been experiencing the same but somehow managed to keep a collective exterior. on the inside i was ambushed with all the notes we had to take this being the first day. He managed to let himself catch a breather as i directed my attention to the window trying to drown my sorrows with warm bodies roaming the campus.
There were some people who were sat against the trees alone soaking in the slight breeze that was displayed that day while others roamed making new connections while others already had them. I could already imagine myself out on the campus seen soaking things in trying to befriend everything that had been combined in my path. I saw college as a wonder filled experience, a chance to make new connections and roam new areas. I had been less worried about my school work as i had thought i would have it packed down and ready for the surface.
"It certainly is wonderful to see new faces but i hope it is equally as wonderful that everyone completed there summer essay as it is a key necessity to get a good start in the year."
Everyone went digging for this assignment he assigned us. In my opinion the essay was rather easy, stating the simple joy the art of food gives me. Talking about the history of food and the ingredients needed to make a certain dish pop. I had no trouble with the assignment but i did have a problem locating where it was placed in my backpack.
A set of panic was forming in my chest. I always hated that feeling but it rarely comes around as i normally have things prepared. I was seemingly expecting the same thing to always happen but the feeling of dread only engulfed my being. I began frantically looking for what I was longing for no longer having the need to patiently look as my professor was making his way up the isle rather quickly.
I began rummaging through out every inch of my book bag before i heard the small clearing of a throat signalling for me to met the bored eyes of our professor. I had removed my hands rather slowly away from my bag remaining eye contact as i was afraid at what may lay if if i dropped the sudden eye contact. My eyes slowly detached from his as i took in his strong posture seemingly intimidating as well. His arms laid crossed as if he was bored with the simple thought of me and my first impression I had been making for myself.
"Well, Ms. I presume you don't have your basic necessities for the first day of class. Seeing as you don't even have the first day essentials i suggest you leave my class before you make a fool of yourself."
He had certainly been blunt making me cower back in slight fear. I tried not to show that emotion as much as he seemed to feed into that only proving his point more. I wasn't suited for a class where he would judge off of my simple movement and my trying efforts. I truly did want a future for myself but his cold state was sure to make things feature more intense. I proceeded to grab my bag slowly making myself get up hearing the squeak of the chair run against the marble floor making me cringe.
It had been eagerly silent as i was on my going exit to the door before a longing voice broke the silence. Behind the professors cold eyes held a black haired boy behind him, the same boy I had observed with the coffee cup and iconic words following along with it. He didn't even clear his throat as he stood up and stated bits from his mind not afraid as I was.
"Are you seriously going to do such a thing from impulse. You arent supposed to give up on a student especially on the first day, you are supposed to push the student into excelling. You clearly got your bullshit degree from your ass as you go off things from the top of your mind rather than thinking them out like a logical person. So what she forgot a project that was assigned weeks back the point is that she worked hard on that as you can tell from the anxiety hurdling from her body. Let her show you what she can prove and not just kick her out leaving a longing impression like this. You dick."
Talking about his bullshit degree and him being a dick had certainly been the icing on the cake setting it all in. He was surely brave enough to state his opinion freely something i had admired right off the bat besides his attractive appearance. The professor seemed stunned by his words but tried to keep his cool as he was in charge of this whole operation. He still held a fuming exterior as the male keep his stance not afraid on what the professors input had entailed.
"Well mr. Min thank you for putting in your opinion but it surely isnt needed. Since you want to take the opposing side why dont you and ms. L/N please direct yourselves from my class room. Im sure the both of you wont be successful in life anyway as you are choosing this path."
The person who i presumed was Min smiled sarcastically wanting to seem more powerful then him as he grabbed a hold of my hand and exited the classroom. He held onto my hand firmly marching making sure to hold eye contact with the professor. As we left the room I stood in the hallway not knowing what was coming next till it hit me. He practically lost his position in this class just for my sake. Ultimately i felt like utter shit.
"You know you didnt have to do that, you know stick up for me. You didnt have to just leave that class because of that."
He had already began walking to where ever his destination held before he turned back to take in my speaking thoughts. He walked to where I was rather slowly still sporting a bored expression on his face. i hadnt known if that was permanently engrossed on his face but i took it as it was. He still held an attractive face as he had sharp facial features. I focused in on these details as he began talking.
"I know, its just something i chose to do. He was acting like a dip shit and frankly I didnt even want to join that dumb ass class. History of food isnt a topic im very well interested in, just needed an extra class is all."
He nodded off with his answer not thinking anything of it however as he finished i realized what had been done. he might have not liked the class but that class was sure enough to make a career at what i found a passion in. I had realized that this big impact that I had made had determined my whole future. It had been the first official day of college and i was already setting myself up for failure.
"Oh my fucking shit, this whole situation is fucked. Im going to become a bum at the age of twenty-one."
I had been running my fingers through my hair as Min had been looking at me curiously before he examined his cup that laid in his hand. He still held the same expression on his face as he directed the cup in my preferable vision signaling me to grab a hold of it, which i did hesitantly. I examined the cup before putting it against my lips.
"You definitely need that more than me."
I felt the energy drink disguised in a coffee cup slide down my throat. I had been taken back at the taste expecting it to be another substance but still took it as i needed the offer. As I handed the cup back to him he put his arm around my shoulder bringing us closer as we walked down the hallway together.
"If you keep sticking around me ill promise you energy drinks and friendship."
It seemed like an offer i most definitely couldn't refuse. I had been seeking for such thing for so long and for it to commence so easily and he certainly held up to his promise.
Since then the person who i now address as Min Yoongi had been the one to stick by my side till the end of our college days. We never made any other friends as we felt that having each other was merely enough. After school I would help him with his music and cook him cheap foods i found in the 'great value' section. We had been feeding passion to each other yet even after college we had no idea how to presume this. None of the less we chose to stick together and not question what might happen in the future as we had each other.
There were certain hard ships but in the end we always ended up by each others side even as graduation approached. We stood in the big crowd conjoined together as even after graduation we managed to stay together.
We were young adults not knowing where our path of life would take us. We settled for a cheap apartment that held a window view of brick walls and a single bed with limited space. I remember the first night being the most exciting as it was our first time together on our own home. Yoongi was anything but excited as he eyed the TV with a bored stare awaiting for my dish to be finished.
I had managed to cook up a cheap but exquisite dish as i sat it on the coffee table with a wide smile as Yoongis eyes went wide as well. He looked confused by the dish displayed in front of him deciding if he should eat it willingly or push it to the side. My eyes met his with a slight of worry wondering if the food was questionable itself. I had been fresh out of college with a culinary degree yet not processing any information i learned from my classes. I definitely could use some practice but as of now the exhibit in front of us would have to due.
I sat down on the coach picking up one of the plates as Yoongi still let his lay cold and full on the table. I held my plate in my hand awaiting for him to take a bite but he just stared at me with blank eyes. It surely was making me feel insecure about what i prepared making me slightly pout. I knew this action would make Yoongi feel some what guilty which was fairly rare but he still manged to huff and grab a hold of the plate.
I waited for Yoongi to take the first bite as the savory flavor hit his mouth. I took notice of his face as his lips wrinkled before turning to me with a soft smile nodding his head at the quality.  turned back to my food praising myself for my efforts before my taste buds engulfed the flavor of the stale food. I spit it out rather quickly turning to Yoongi who mirrored my actions.
"Thank god you spit that out, Cooking isnt for all of us."
I took Yoongis words in accepting that fact that my cooking was certainly below average. I definitely praised him for even holding the food in his mouth as for the first bite i nearly vomited from the displeasing taste. I still held a sad exterior as i was met with realization of my efforts. I had expected to much of myself and thought i could do things when i certainly couldn't. The professor was most likley right about me, i couldnt make it anywhere in life due to my efforts.
"Hey dont let it get to you, we can just order pizza."
I nodded slightly still feeling depressed about the whole ordeal. Yoongi slowly put his hand on my back rubbing slowly. Yoongi was always awkward in these situations not knowing how to take in my sadness and how to enhance it to happiness, however him just being there for slight support made things ever more better.
"Im sorry if i was harsh on your cooking you know how weird i am about expressing stuff. Please dont be sad or mad or any of this pointless shit, youre still my lil chef."
I smiled at the nickname Yoongi conjured up as i thought back to the memory. We had been laying in my dorm room watching Ratatouille when the red headed chef addressed the rat as little chef. I rolled my eyes as he began laughing his breathe away at has terrible joke comparing us due to our small interest.
"Come on that was funny."
"We must have different senses of humor because im not impressed by that comment."
"Whatever im a fucking genius."
Yoongi groaned putting the covers over his face grumbling about how hes Superior and other things that didn't add up.
I smiled at the memory looking at Yoongi dialing the number to the nearest pizza place. I focused on the pout that formed on his lips as he managed to say through out every sentence as the permanent pout was displayed on his face. It shook me on how his interior remind tough and sluggish sporting every honestly brutal opinion he could muster while his exterior displayed of a small fragile kitten. Min Yoongi was my best friend and i knew certain things he didnt know about himself or certain things he didnt want to accept. I hadnt known what i would do if a time would come if he wasnt apart of my future anymore. It was always us in any problem even when one of us managed to conjure it up.
"What the hell is wrong with you, were getting pizza so the taste of your sad food should drown your sorrows."
Yoongi smirked as he grabbed the remote changing the channel to the kids network. I shoved him slight getting up to scarp the food i had attempted to prepare. I held both of the plates in my hand as Min Yoongi watched me walk off to dispose of them before i made my way back into the living room with a comment back.
"You're the reason why my food taste like shit."
Yoongi snapped his head facing in my direction from my comment . He looked slightly offended as the cooking truly was terrible and him begin the key reason for it didn't make it any better. I knew he wouldnt do anything Jurassic about it besides saying a few comments back. He wouldnt go the extreme measure of actually wasting his energy and putting his time into getting me back. He did however deliberately use this to his advantage as he through a pillow.
Yoongi began snickering at his success as i used it to my advantage to through the Pillow right back at him. His face complexly shifted to a cold stare watching as i was now the one laughing. I clutched on my stomach as he huffed in the background while i sat down next to him giving a sarcastic smile. He still keep on his stone cold face bored by the whole thing not finding it entertaining in the slightest.
"Your lucky I cant get up or else you would have expressed the pain brought to you by Min yoongi."
"Oh no not that."
"I fucking hate it here."
Yoongi only huffed and groaned even more for me not taking notice of his so called genius and opinion. I knew his comment hadn't been real as he was only joking in a strange manor however this was his thing. Switching up how he actually felt. I knew he liked living with me and the small bickering conversations that were held inside of our cheap home. I secretly knew how much he loved every bit of it as did too. Even though he boiled my blood to the point of death he always revived me to the complete point of it being all over.
"I swear on my fucking life if you keep on talking about this bullshit interview im going to jump out of that damn window."
Yoongi and I had been sharing the bed we purchased but I was using it for everything else but sleep. I was anxious as to what was to come of the morning.I  was upholding a new job and was going in for an interview. It had been something i was looking forward to but also terrified of doing so. I knew it would offer me grateful opportunities but i wasn't confident enough to take them into my hands. All these thoughts were flooding my mind and i had the need to express them to someone preferable to the person sleeping conventionally placed next to me.
"But the Window has no view, there for youll only get a face full of brick."
"Ill take my chances if that means i wont have to finish this conversation."
I huffed ruffling my hair making a pout form on my lips. I truly was stressed about the whole ordeal and questioning why I even managed to hand myself this position that i seemed eager for at the time. I was confusing myself and what i wanted only making my head swirl, resulting in things for me to do.
"I think Im just going to not go at all."
The midnight air had enhanced everything as i came to my conclusion. Even as the dark atmosphere filled our room  could still see the shocked expression displayed on his face. I hadnt known on why he was so surprised. He wasnt fond of the topic which i understood as it was late but he never showed such interest any other time. It added to the other ideas roaming around my head making the stress increase more. In senescence i shouldn't have been stressing over this as he was finally showing the slightest bit of interest and was going to share his honest opinion. I knew his opinion always held the truth as he saw nothing wrong with his truth.
"Oh you are most certainly going to be attending this interview. I did not just waste a good amount of my sleep to listen to you go on about this damn interview. There are somethings in life that we dont want to do but we have to go through it to open new opportunists. Once the darkness comes in the light will slowly consume you over time. Just please go through with it."
I smiled softly at is input. Rather he knew it or not i surely did help me and impacted my conquest in a positive light. It was times like this when i appreciated him most and pushed the times i questioned our friendship to the far back of my mind. He really was by my side in ever situation possible and was there to attempt to make the broken remade. He made the sadness slowly transform into a lighter tone. I appreciated him but thoughts still consumed my mind as i couldnt make use of them even after Yoongis helpful statement.
"But what abo-"
I was silenced by a pillow colliding with my face. This action instantly shut me up and furthered anymore of my speech. Min yoongi left the pillow on my face as he curled up and attempted his well needed sleep. I pushed the pillow off of my head holding a bored expression on my face not fond of his previous action. I knew i had been talking excessively but I still didnt deserve a pillow to the face as it wasnt needed. With all the problems still swimming along in my head I began to twist in the bed. I wasnt able to say anything to make things harder than they once were. I couldnt keep still as every bad thing consumed me before i felt Yoongis arm sweep my mid section and places me on his chest as i cuddle up to him.
"You need to stop letting the thoughts get to you. You'll do more than fine you'll do amazing and if they didnt take you then they passed up an opportunity of a lifetime. Therefore you wont have to worry about anything as you have no need to worry about something that wont happen. now please can we get some sleep its a key necessity that i get this done in my daily life."
Strangely enough i agreed to his comment. Cuddling against his chest as the cotton rested against my cheek making me drift off into a state of oblivion. His hand had rubbed my lower back tracing small unknown patterns. He hummed a soft tune falling into utter bliss as i followed soon after. I hadnt had the worry or doubt in my head as i felt comforted by the situation of him being in my presence.
I had woken up rather early as the thoughts came back only managed to commence back into my inner thoughts. I slowly attempted to remove myself from Yoongi trying not to wake him as his sleep was a force to be reckoned with. I had already created the anger from last night as I keep him up more than usual due to my mind. I hadnt intended to due so but it so majestically happened to make an appearance. I teared myself away from him as i made my way to the closet unfolding the nicest dress shirt along with a skirt to make myself seem semi professional. I huffed looking at myself in the mirror taking in my appearance before i notice Yoongis curled up body in the background. I turn my head to gaze upon him smiling lightly as the reassuring words referenced my mind.
"What are you doing up so early?"
I meet the gaze of Yoongis slightly opened eyes and parted lips struggling to make sense. His ruffled bed head had been messily laying on the pillow along with his lower half jumbled up in the covers.
"im gonna make us some breakfeast."
"Really? It looks as if your checking out my beauty."
Yoongi smirked at his comment running his fingers through his hair tiredly. I rolled my eyes at his cocky behavior but couldn't stray away from it as he was slightly true. In assent i was minding my business taking in my appearance when i noticed his in the corner of my mirror. I couldn't help but take notice at his cozy up with his longing blanket. His face laid uflushed as he was drifted in a warmness of sleep but as of now his face lied with a smirk ruining his sleepy state.
"Min Yoongi you make me wanna become a lesbian."
"Glad i make you feel that way, wake me up when breakfast is finished."
Min yoongi grabbed the covers that once lied at his lower half up to his upper to the point of covering his whole head. His body had been consumed by the covers and he took advantage of the bed while he had it all for himself. I left him alone with his sleep as i prepared a bowl of cereal. We had been low on groceries as we had little to no food and only enough cereal for one bowl. It appeared that Yoongi would only have his daily energy drink in a coffee cup.
I placed the finished product on the table taking a seat on the stiff couch and turing on the TV. The TV had still been programmed on the child network and it seemed slightly interesting. it surely was pointless but yet still managed to grab my attention into a clouded fog. I had been so drawn into the TV that i didnt notice Yoongi walk sluggishly with the blanket wrapped around him till the coach sunk along with him.
I hadnt paid him any mind as i crossed my legs on the couch and proceeded to eat the cereal with the bowl placed firmly in my hand. Yoongi seemed uninterested in the show as he reached for the remote rather than his coffee cup. This action made me let out a small squeak in protest making his look at me with a questioned expression. I had been confused on why he wanted to change the channel as watching cartoons had been a natural thing for us however as of now he had other interest.
"I thought you loved watching cartoons with me?"
"I do but this show is plain stupid, seriously why would a dragon win in a fight against Godzilla?"
I turned my head in disgust at his perception of the show. It was a fairly good show for children of all ages but mostly some below my age. Due to my age i had gained enough common sense in life and this excellent show, just enough sense to realize a dragon would in fact win in a fight. It often saddened me that Yoongi didnt get certain concepts and this begin one of them. Almost anyone who had sprouted a brain would understand that a Dragon could easily win in such fight. Yoongi needed to be educated on this and i was more than glad to tell him as i sat my bowl down on the table and turned my body to Yoongis as he did the same.
"Yoongi, honey i get that your education isnt at its prime right now but please gather all the skills you can. This damn Dragon can fly spout fire all while choke him with his damn spiky tail. Now that you've gathered that use your context clues and understand that Godzilla has no chance."
I finished my statement proudly believing every word of it as i was right. In theory a dragon would have a semi chance in a fight in any animal that came in its way. I sat proudly at my observation while Yoongi was slouched with his mouth gaped with slightly closed eyes taking what i said in. I knew he had something to say back but with his brain in the just awakened mood he wouldn't have much energy to fight back on me with this. He hadn't even took a worthy sip of his daily energy drink meaning he defiantly had nothing to offer besides a soft grumble.
"Dragons arent even real."
"Neither is Godzilla, Yoongi."
"Fuck you, you know my genius gets effected in the morning."
Yoongi slightly pushed me signalling that he wanted the conversation to come to an end. As he pushed me the milk from my cereal had gotten onto my shirt making the shirt dirty and see through. I grumbled as i smelled the milk reddened shirt and sent daggers to Yoongi who displayed a gummy smile attempting to make things better. The gum of his smile had been poking out profoundly making the situation less terrible. I had won the conversation we were on about earlier giving me the advantage but that still didn't fix my milked shirt.
"Yoongi can you go get a dress shirt from your dresser or my dragon will light your ass into flames."
"Oh please my Godzilla will literally stomp you to death."
Yet Yoongi still managed to get up with a sigh sluggishly walking. I had usually borrowed his shirts on occasion. They weren't far off from my size only being one up. It certainly did make things more conventional and more manageable. It was a plus as the clothes resembled of his cologne. It was a joyous smell that engulfed my nose making me feel a slight fuzzy feeling in my heart. It hadnt been what we describe as falling for someone but rather knowing that you have the one person who makes you feel better be around you the whole day. Yoongi was always blunt and honest but that was the best kind of way into telling someone the truth. That was one of the ways i was so drawn into him, as he faced his opinion and stood up for me. I always managed to think back to that day when we are in our slightest situations like these. He was always going to push through rather it be telling his opinion for me in a big crowd or letting me borrow one of his shirts. I could always count on my best friend.
Yoongi entered back in the room with a plain button up shirt. He directed in my direction motioning that i still had on my milk shirt. I gestured for him to leave the room but he didnt get the hint as he stood there clueless with the buttoned shirt displayed in his hands.
"You can leave now, dont want you seeing my boobs."
"Are you fucking serious, weve been friends for years I promise i wont get a boner at the sight of your chest in a bra sack."
I rolled my eyes slowly taking off my shirt. For the amount of times we had been friends he had surprisingly never seen me naked as have I. This made things even more intimate as silence covered our atmosphere and his eyes directed to my clothed breast. I hadnt known what to do as i held my stance while he still held the button up shirt in his hands. I cleared my throat signifying that he could hand me the shirt which he did snapping out of his presences returning back to his unmentioned stare.
I began in attempt to button the buttons displayed on failing before i felt Yoongis cold hands take my place. He had a slight change in expression almost as if he had cared about something, affection. The state scared me as it brought by him, he never showed an ounce of expression besides disgust or nothing at all. This had been new but it was certainly something to get use to. His hands had been slowly been approaching my breast as his breathe began to grow agitated. Im sure it had been a long time since Yoongi had felt the longing touch of the opposite sex.
"Thats a nice bra, really makes your boobs look fantastic."
"Yoongi i swear-"
"What your gonna get your damn dragon on me again?"
I laughed at his comment as it brought light to the atmosphere, something that i needed. The thought of the interview had resurface into my head yet again floating around with bad possibilities. I couldnt help but fiddled with my fingers giving the obvious fidget a warning to Yoongi. His fingers had finished buttoning as he tucked in my shirt and fixed my collar. I had avoided eye contacting hoping that he wouldn't notice my nerves but it was Yoongi we were talking about. He mastered every aspect of me and how it was constructed. He could point out anything remotely wrong with me and this was one of those moments.
His hands slowly made  there way to my cheek making my eyes divert to his. His eyes read the affection that held a few minutes ago. This was a truly rare sight. Yoongi was rarely being genuine as he didnt like showing his true feelings to people, even being his best friend he managed to hide this from me. He went to these lengths to reassure me that things would be okay, risking his ego for me. It was a genuine thing wither he wanted to admit it or not. He did cared about people even when he didnt want to let that be known.
"I knew you may be in a struggle but i want you to know whatever happens ill be by your side. I know they will hire you or else they will surely be missing something valuable and thats there loss. When you get in the interview just keep on telling yourself how good you are for them because you truly are, you are to good for anyone. You deserve so much more than what you give yourself."
His hands had still been placed on my cheeks before he removed on replacing it with a small peck to the cheek. I smiled lightly taking in the moment before it was over. I nodded along to him gathering the information i had just received and made my way out the door giving him a longing hug for reassurance. I didnt need it but it was good enough to be engulfed by his rare aura and use it to its advantage.
The door shut behind me as I made my way down the hall before i heard the door being reopened to be met with Yoongis pale face.
"Oh and by the way that dragon you were on about is nothing compared to Godzilla."
And with that he closed the door with a small smirk and playful facial structure. He surely did make the worst of times turn into the best. Yoongi was right i didnt give myself enough credit but neither did he. People and himself often saw him a a sluggish loner who only cared about his own feelings however it stretched far beyond this. He was sensitive and caring when the time was to come and i always admired those times as he gave me strength from them. Yoongi was truly an amazing person and i wished he gave himself credit for so.
I looked at the door one last time smiling to myself at his behavior. The thoughts roamed my head about what he told me keeping it in the closest parts of my mind keeping it with me as i made my way to the interview.
I had been strolling the cart as Yoongi went on mindlessly about his gig he had later on today. I was touched on my own inner thoughts to his into consideration. Its not that i hadn't cared it was the simple fact that the interview had been playing over and over again demolishing every word that had managed to fall from my mouth. Had the words been to rehearsed or possibly unrehearsed. I had began to judge everything about every aspect of the interview even the smallest bit to my clothing. I had been grateful of Yoongis helping hand but the nagging though in my mind still knocked at my head at any possible excuse.
"Anyway, how did the interview go?"
My head had snapped to Yoongis direction who had mindlessly been walking in front of me as if his question didnt affect me. Of course i hadn't wanted to answer this as i wouldn't even answer this question myself. Well i assume i did have a basic understanding on who the whole ordeal went. In my mind it had gone terrible and i wanted to have nothing to do with the whole topic bu Yoongi gregariously brought it up. I had corrupted myself into making it much worst than it seemed but it already seemed terrible. Why not enhance that feeling i questioned myself. Yoongi and I had both unanswered questions only resulting in me driving myself closer to my insanity. Best bet was to abandon the whole conversation as it only made me think about the whole thing ever more.
"Hows your gig going."
"I already told you thats why i asked somethign about yo- wait were you even listening to what i said before?"
Yoongi already knew the answer to this question unlike his other one. Yoongi was fairly smart with his observations trying to make sure that no one takes notice in his stances and obstructions but luckily for me i did. He already knew i wasnt listening as i had all the weight on my shoulders but he went on to not ask further questions as it would only possibly break me down more. In a conversation where it was revolving around himself but he was rather thinking about my mental actions and state.
As he said his last sentence he hadnt asked anymore about it knowing what would only come from so. He may had pushed my buttons but he never pushed me off the edge. He knew his boundaries and what was acceptable. However I had still bent up anger over the dark themes it caused. I certainly knew that i was being over dramatic but i couldnt help myself to get like this when these situations commenced. I tended to make situations possibly worst by caring this mental emotion into my actions.
We had made our way to the cereal isle as we skimmed the cheapest cereals they could muster. Our favorite had been 'Astro Charms' an off brand 'Lucky Charms'. Yoongi and I had always found joy of making fun of the names they could come up with from the top of there head. They truly were genius people contributing genuine ideas for the cereal productions but atleast try and come up with your own product name. I suppose this was why me and Yoongi found showed joy and funniness out of their attempts.
I skimmed my eyes along the cereal seeking for the specific kind. Of course as i finished my skim they had been on the highest shelf possible. I hadnt been the tallest person ever and neither had Yoongi but he still remained taller than me to reach the farthest product of cereal. I groaned at my attempts to reach the cereal only failing. I tried to retrieve it once last time before placing my hands on my knees as if I had ran a full marathon. Yoongi took notice in my jumps smirking to himself behind his hand.
"You need me to get that for you?"
"How dare you judge the vertically challenged."
Yoongi shrugged to himself with a stifled laugh. He quickly went down the rest of the isle scanning any other food items we may had needed. I had stared down my computation while he did so, trying to find any possible way to retrieve this item from the top shelf without any assistants. The whole ordeal hadnt been playing out in my favor as i tried climbing up the shelfs but stopped mid way as the assumption that i would need Yoongis assistants to get down. Overall whatever plan i demised in my head included him which was basically a cycle in my daily life. Everything included him and I wouldn't even know it. I let out on last defeated sigh and accepted the eager help.
"Yoongi, help me."
Yoongi walked over with his same smirk painted on his face as it was last time but this time more evident and radiating with confidence. He felt needed as he grabbed the box of under rated cereal giving himself a well deserved hand. I noticed him standing on the tips of his toes as he reached the box making me smile to myself that even himself was struggling to get a box of cereal. It made me slightly ravish in victory in some way seeing him struggling in the same requirement as i was.
Yoongi plopped the item into our cart as i continued to stroll it him following by my side. He had been rather close and been faking intimidation for some unknown reason. I could tell as the smirk o his face turned to a more playful one signalling his joking side making me question his next choice of actions and wonder what they held.
"I would be a better astronaut."
It sure as hell was a random conversation starter as he kept his eyes on the 'Astro charms'. Im sure he pictured himself instead of the little space man directed on the box instead.However just because Yoongi thought this didnt mean it was true. What was he on about lately first it had been about Godzilla and now this topic? Obviously i would be a better astronaut then him as i held the better skill set. If Yoongi was in space and suddenly ran into an unknown species surely he would full under pressure and shoot them at any given chance he held. He was certainly unsuited for the task at hand.
"Yoongi, you know i support everything you do and what you want to become but i will gregariously take up that job position in a heartbeat."
"Y/N you both know i can jump higher than you."
"In space there is literally no gravity that shit wont matter."
"Rule fucking one of becoming an astronaut is begin able to jump cool, mostly when on the moon. So just accept it."
I sported a straight smile nagging at him in my head knowing he couldnt handle what i would say. Yoongi patted my back encouragingly trying to seem helpful in a way. I hadnt been overly upset at all just portraying so to make the joke go further and Yoongi knew this too. We always picked on each other with things even the stupidest of conversations. Just the simple conversation striking between us two was enough for us no matter the topic.
"How about this, we both gather all our saving to go to space and roam the moon hell we could probably buy the moon. Just us, together."
Yoongi proceeded to drag his arm along my shoulder bringing us closer. I was taken back by the sudden action as i swerved the cart before his hands steadied it. Suddenly we were both directing the cart lazily together with goofy smiles painted on out faces dreaming as far as our banks could take us, which wasnt as far as we could assume however we choose to live in the moment with one another.
"Get away from earths bullshit and just be with each other."
How lovely the whole aspect surrounding that idea sounded.
Yoongi and I had carried the grocery bags up the stairs heaving at each step we took to our apartment door. I dropped the bags at the front of the door retrieving my keys while an agitated Yoongi laid behind me, I had to make my movements quick. However my movements halted as i say the prominent brick red sign lying on our door. I dropped any other remaining items in my hand replacing it with the item on the door. The tape had been still attached freshly to the top of the paper as i skimmed throughout the whole paper.
"Whats taking so long."
I slowly diverted my eyes behind me looking at Yoongi who had his eyes close and lips quivering at the feeling of his arms about to give up on the heaviness of the bags. I motioned for him to put the bags down as i waved the paper in his face while he opened his eyes. He grasped ahold of the paper reading it in a faint whisper. Overall the paper was bad but it certainly could have been worse. Due to our lack in money and not being able to pay full rent our landlord decided to make the grasious decsion to turn off our warm water leaving us with coldness.
"Well there goes our savings to a trip to the moon."
Yoongi held a small frown at the idea sported only a few minutes ago was now vanishing from reality. It truly did seem like a good idea but certainly wasnt going to be an idea that could be escalated so easily. It was now a figment of our imagination but at least it was shortly lived. We still had each other which was a plus as having him around was certainly enough of an adventure.
"Well atleast we still have running water."
"Yeah but we cant use to much of it, only for a limited amount of time."
"Well i need to take a shower first because of my gig tonight and i dont feel like sweating on the stage with all those hot ass lights."
"But ive been sweating all day because of that damn interview."
"Yeah you have I just didnt want to say anything."
I looked at Yoongi with hooded eyes as he placed his gummy smile over his face making up for his previous statement. He sure was the character but that wasn't helping us with our shower situation and how it would make itself out. We both had to take a shower at this moment as it would satisfy what we needed but the problem was we were running limited on water, leaving on thought in my mind. I turned over to Yoongi who seemed to have mustered the same idea as I but i was quick to shut it down.
"Yoongi I am not taking a shower with you."
"Come on its just to save water nothing sexual."
"Okay but i swear if you pull something."
I let out a sigh as Yoongi rubbed his hands in determination for whatever reason he held. Two naked bodies in a shower together was sure to start an experiment well needed but made me feel uneasy as what it could lead to. We had been best friends for years yet nothing so opened has happened between us and i could tell Yoongi was opened to letting that streak to be broken.
"Yoongi I swear you better remove your dick from my ass right now."
"I cant just take my dick off and re attach it, sorry but it just doesn't work like that."
The beginning of the shower had been going fairly well washing up with soap and ignoring each other awkward glances however as time passed by it increased in strangeness. As we proceeded to shampoo our hair we came up with the brilliant idea to have the other person massage our head and wash out with water. It seemed good at first but know the poking of Yoongis dick seemed to drive things further south. It could have been worst as far as him getting a full on boner but just the feeling of my best friends dick so close to me made me think about certain things.
I tried to ignore the feeling focusing on the messaging has i hummed while his fingers combed throughout my hair. It certainly felt nice to have someone else take up this task besides me. I had began to let our small whimpers as the pleasure increased. I felt Yoongi stiffen from behind me at my small noises coming from my parted lips. I hadn't taken notice that i was even making theses noises till i felt the familiar object against my thigh being to become slightly upright. I halted my sounds as now the shower was filled with the patter of the water droplets hitting the chipped tub.
I had rinsed the remaining suds in my hair before turning around to now take care of Yoongis hair. However as i turned around he didnt copy my actions. His eyes soon darted down my body as mine did too. It hadnt been intentional it just happened rather quickly something that i couldnt process. My eyes ranked down his body observing every inch it could muster. I was surely flustered after doing so not sure what my next moves should consist of.
"Yoongi why didnt you turn around!"
I was quick to put the blame on him not wanting to come to terms that i was in the wrong as well as him. I did what i was doing best when i didnt want to come to terms to things. It was a bad habit for sure but it worked in situations like so.
"Well neither did you."
Shit he did have a point and I wish he didnt. Better yet his eyes still shamelessly ranked around my dripping body not ashamed of doing so. He was owning up to what he did while I hid behind his words making him eat up mine as well as his. He graciously did it without a care in the world as if it didnt have any consequences.
"You really are beautiful you know. I find it hard to believe that its been this many years and i hadnt been graced with your beauty."
What he was saying was definitely far fetched and seemed as if it all had been over dramatic but Yoongi never said anything along those lines. I hadnt even known why he had ushered those things falling out his lips. Usually he called me gross and rarely complimented me only when bad themes accrued. Never did he trail his hands along my waist let alone my naked waist. This whole thing had been new and taking big steps at something that i never saw coming in our friendship.
"Yoong-"
"Im serious Y/N, whatever happens i just want you to know that i care about you more than i have about anyone else."
It was true as i felt the same way but not to the extant he was talking about. He was in the heat of the moment and i could feel myself being drag in just as he was. It was tempting as it also felt oddly satisfying. I hated the way it made me feel and how it could risk things but I pushed those thoughts away from any of the verbal actions i could communicate.
"Listen Y/N i know were best friends so I wont do anything that your uncomfortable with and i want you to know whatever happens to use it wont change anything."
After his statement it surely sent my mind into overload. Taking up on all the different options that roamed around my full head of possibilities. I however didnt have time to answer as the alarm from the timer ad began ringing. Yoongi whipped away the remaining suds on the sides off my head before rubbing my damp hair with a small reassuring smile. I knew that this would be the last moment to be shared like this as it was there first ever time to actually happen.
Yoongi was always rare on these occations however they began to become more regular. This began to change things in a way that i couldnt put my finger on. I couldnt tell if it was strengthening our relationship or making it fade. Im liked to believe that we would be together through out everything but in certain aspects i wasnt sure of. He made me confused as hell while i stared at him drying himself off with his straight face as if the moment between the two of us never accrued. Thats just how he always portrayed himself. Pretending the moment had never accrued and never bring it up unless he wanted to.
I knew that these thought would only intensify and i would be left wondering if i could continue on with this feeling I didnt know i was capable of having for Yoongi. If i wanted to somehow follow on with this i needed to portray myself as Yoongi did to himself. Act as if nothing was happening and keep on the friendship unless i seeked for something more. Besides it wasnt important as of now. I needed to push my problems away and focus on Yoongi tonight as an important gig was surfing his way. I had no time of giving up on something as of now because it had always been me and Yoongi nothing more and nothing less.
Together we could conquer more the the earth but the entire universe including the well desired moon. No amount of money could change that.
It had been only a couple of more weeks till anything else meaningful had happened. Yoongi and I had been living out our regular days filled with playful arguments and meaningless conversations. In fact the night prier to the shower had been a rather eventful one for the both of us. Yoongi had managed winning first place in the solo musicians cafe night. His face remained stone like and nodding while proclaiming a quick thank you with a short speech. He seemed grateful but very expressionless. As for me i had been waving all of the possible limbs off of my body. I had been rather proud of him and having his talent actually gain notice, i had every right to be proud.Someone my overenthusiastic approach had left people with he idea of me having the title of his girlfriend.
As Yoongi stepped off of the stage and i engulfed him whole he patted my back lightly not sure on how to handle this affection. I could tell he was proud of himself even when he wasnt showing it on the outside. He didnt know how to react at his accomplishment or how to take them as people usually would He was left with an unreadable approach to people who hadn't come into communication with him. People would often call him ungrateful for his reactions not knowing what he a actually experiencing deep inside.
The host of the whole event took a step off of the stage and stood next to me and Yoongi. I tore my eyes away from Yoongis as they traced to the host who held a forced smile. He seemed very strained not as if he was bored wth everything but almost like smiling was his permeate job besides this.
"Suga i certainly can see a bright future and you surely are lucky to have your girlfriend to support you and your creativity."
"Shes actually my best friend."
We often got refereed to being in a relationship on occasion. It wasnt something that surprised us and neither did we take offense to it. We always were in a close proximity with one another giving off the impression but we didnt want to go as far to break that just for peoples perspective of things. This was how regular days went for us. Spending our days together and have people make assumptions. It wasn't very eventful but it was how our life went.
Now as we transformed into the weeks following things began to grow eventful. Not to the point of excitement but much rather to the brink of terrifying. I had been having a rough time at work trying to knock down the basics of each task. Things had been getting difficult and it didn't help the situation as i walked into a dark light apartment. I had been frighten to say the least as I keep on the side lamp on to refrain from the position i was in now. However when i turned on the lamp it didnt cooperate. I stood there for a second trying to find a possibility on why this would happen till it dawned on me. The landlord had turned off our electricity leaving the apartment with a darkened state.
I made my way to the kitchen cabinet to retrieve some handles and light them with the lighter.I placed the materials on the counter. I had only been focused on the task at hand not taking in my surroundings. I hadn't heard the closing off the door as i was to concentrated on lighting the candle till i felt a hand land on my shoulder and a voice.
"Why are the light of-"
I hadnt been focused on who the voice belonged to rather whos hand was attached to my shoulder and what actions would happen next. I only had one main thing on my mind as i grasped a fork in my hand and stabbed the persons hand as they let out a yelp. I quickly lit the candle and turned my attention to the person who was behind me. I positioned the candle in my hand and in there direction to get a clear vision of who the yelp belonged to.
"Ow what the hell Y/N! Did you just stab me with a damn fork."
Of course my mind had transformed Yoongi into a house invader. I quickly apologized trying to make up a good explanation. Of course i didnt have a good logical reason on why well at least not one he would listen to. Atlest his hand hadnt been seriously injured or he would have been seriously angry with me. Instead of shouting any forbidden words he wanted an explanation as to why the lights were out. Luckily that distracted him from the actions that i caused on him. I roughly explained the situation as what I could gather from it.
We had no electricity what so ever. Meaning we had no tv system or no entertainment. We had been living in an age where we depend on technology and now we were stuck without it. I placed the candles in our proximity. Yoongi had gone on a venture to find an entertainment system while i had been in charge of sitting on the floor making sure the candles didnt blow out. What a difficult task I had
Yoongi came back retrieving monopoly and a bottle of alcohol. I hadnt even known that we held those items but Yoongi managed to find them without hesitation. He placed these items on the floor in front of me as he sat across. He look at the bottle before placing it on the floor as well. We opened the box and placed the board down looking at the different colors of cards and various items. The figures were laied out across the board as i went to reach for the skate board one Yoongis hand did as well.
"Get your hands off my skate board."
"Your skateboard? Yoongi, you dont even know how to skateboard."
"That doesnt mean shit and i was the one the one who found this damn game."
"Fine."
I tossed him the small silver skateboard as he caught it with victory. I settled for a dog already excepting my disastrous fail. Yoongis eyes dotted to another figurine as he dropped the skateboard and replaced it with a tiny silver piano. He placed it on his knee and began fake playing the tiny instrument in his hand. It hadn't projected any noise as it surely was fake but Yoongi seemed like he took a few sips of the alcoholic beverage before retrieving it back. He seemingly enjoyed himself as he was pretending to play until his mouth parted and he began to spout lyrics from his agape mouth.
Yoongi had always played me bits of his sound and it seemed like this was own of his well written songs. This had to be a newly written one as it still had small errors or possibly he was to drunk to correct them in the very moment. However I still took in every word he said and memorizing it as if it was going to evaporate from my mind. No instruments had been playing yet he still manged t make it seem meaningful with just his voice.
Yoongi took a swig of the beverage after finishing such a performance. He hadnt thought anything of it as he was to intoxicated to actually take notice. I had wished he would give himself a certain amount of credit no matter the situation.
"Yoongi, that was really good."
"They dont call me Min genius for nothing."
He offered me a playful wink on tat i couldn't resist to laugh at. Maybe i had been over thinking everything and i needed to relax and not focus on things that didn't involve my input. I reached my arm out and took the bottle from Yoongi and replaced my broken words with the nap of the bottle. I felt the sting of the liquor hit the back of my throat as i coughed violently.The rest of the game had been filled with boastful laughing and liquor staggered breath filling the area.
I moved my figure lazily over the square before exclaiming what it said.
"Yoongi looks like you owe me your house."
"Your a damn cheater their is no way im giving my house to a dog."
He directed his attention to the dog figurine on the board. He lifted it up testing his theory proving him wrong. He let out a groan saying how this whole game was testing his patients. Due to the alcohol in my system i let out a small laugh and a small smile managed to crack from him. We both had the liquor coursing through our veins as nothing really mattered as of now.
"We should get a dog."
"Yoongi were broke."
"Oh we could name him Min Holly. Oh Min Holly."
Yoongi placed his hand on his heart dramatically while laying down on the floor. I laughed feeling the alcohol bubbling inside of me before we banned the game and settled on conversion. However we still remained quit soaking up the comfort in each other. We didn't focus on the bad themes of what was going on as they were surrounding us. We had millions of reasons to be stressed out but instead of worrying about these so called things we pushed them to the side and took in each other.
"You know i wrote that song about you."
"What?"
It was as if the alcohol that once lurked my system vanished completely. My once care free mind begin to move to assumption. I had an idea of the song being directed to an object rather than an actual person. It seemed weird to refer to it like that but it was an assumption that i corrupted.
"Yeah, I titled it first love out of respect to you. Certain aspects arent about you as i had multiple first loves but your the only person Ive grown an attachment to."
I could tell the alcohol had left his system as he began to speak his mind. Not completely all of it as he wouldnt actually let himself admit to something like this. He was slowly beginning to admit things more even when he didn't need to. He still didn't say everything on his mind as he saw that it wasnt needed. He would rather be alone with those thoughts even when he had me he didnt tell me certain things.He was feeling comfortable enough to actual to come to terms with this himself enough to tell me.
"What does that mean?"
I had fully known what he was hinting at but didnt want to come to terms with so. I had been struggling myself with this whole situation. I had always liked Yoongi but seeing the girls come in and out his life. It had damaged me in a way. I had always knew that i was one of the main parts of his life but just the sight of seeing him with someone else made things ever so difficult. I had always wanted to be in this position of me and Yoongi having an actual chance at something more than a friendship but as of now i had no idea what to make of it.
"It means I wrote you a song."
Yoongi had positioned himself as his elbows held him up. This way i could see his face more clearly as the candles lit across his face. His brown eyes sparkled as the flame danced across his iris. It certainly set me back to the time where i was just discovering myself becoming fond of him and his personality. I had felt something for him I couldn't feel with someone else so i asked myself why i felt so hesitant about the whole situation.
I reached my hand out for his as i engulfed his palm. I had ran my thumb across his as his eyes were glued to the small amount of affection. He never showed a sign of it unless on hard times did I as it was a strange aspect of our friendship. This however didnt mean that we never had a liking for each other we just remained more closed off to the idea. As now things were changing and maybe change was proved as a good thing.
My eyes flickered to his as his still stared at our interlocked hands. I carefully took my free hand to be placed against his jaw bringing his eyes to met mine. I took note in his appearance from the slight part in his lips to the mess black hair that laid atop of his head. I could smell the aroma of liquor still lingering from his breathe as my lips grew closer to his. The amount of space between our parted lips had been smaller then a thin string but we still didn't connect. I hadn't know what i was waiting for till I felt Yoongi lips meet mine and falling into a trance. Our lips had molded together perfectly after a longed wait. It felt longed waited after many years. Surprisingly we had never gone as far as hugging not even the most intimate of glances. We had tried to always seen each other as nothing more than friends until this very moment.
I pulled my lips away first opening my eyes lazily awaiting for Yoongi to do the same. As he did a small smile formed upon his lips but he tried to fight it as he didnt wan to show his soft side. I had found it another reason as why I had began to like him so much He couldnt fight what he felt and there were some moments where this emotion took him over so much to the point of actually showing what he felt out in the open. Of course he didnt want other people to witness this but i did. I was the reason why.
"Thank you, for writing the song for me."
Yoongi had nodded his head his eyes focused on something else. He had been concentrating on what i was saying as he lifted himself from his previous position to on his knees. He stood taller than me as his hands cupped my jaw taking in every aspect as i did him. He was feeling everything I did but this time he didnt take like as I did. His lips molded against mine yet again and was savoring each minute.
His tongue had graced upon my lips asking for entrance as i eagerly excepted. His hands that once cupped my jaw made there way down my body till they landed on the back of my thighs. He slowly used his strength to lift himself and me off of the floor. His hands had stayed firmly on my thighs as he walked to ur shared bedroom to put it to use.
My head hit the softened pillow as his warm lips still managed to collide with mine. My mind had been filled with carelessness yet again. Only few moments did i have nothing roaming around my head and he was able to unlock this. Nothing about what was to occur after this and how it would affect things. I was focused on now and what would come from it.
His hands traced along my shirt specifically the hem of my top. I knew his mind was ranking his abilities on how he could managed to take my top off without seeming overly cocky. I admired that he seemed like he was over thinking things judging his every movements but i wanted to make him feel as comfortable as possible.
I pushed him off of me slightly so we were both sitting up. I proceeded to grasp the hem of my top in my hands as Yoongis eyes followed my hands. His breathe had become slightly uneven at the sight. Things seemed to become more intense as the both of us hadn't been sexually active in quiet awhile. It certainly was riveting to be back in the state but even more better as I was sharing it with Yoongi.
I took off my shirt taking in his facial expression as he held a blank stare with his mouth slightly agape. I stifled a laugh not wanting him to seemed embarrassed. I had enjoyed seeing him in such a state and wanted to see how intense things could really get if i went the extra mile. I then proceeded to unclasp my bra making his eyes not break contact with my chest. Yoongi slightly mumbled if he could mantled my breast. I nodded along that it was okay to do so.
His lips clasped around the bud of my nipple. I cradled his head as he went on his assault on  my nipple. I moaned at the feeling ruffling my fingers through his hair needing something to grasp onto as i was experiencing such pleasure. His other hand grasped my other breast making sure to include it as well. His lips slowly made its way to my collar bone to my neck and up until they connected with my lips yet again.
My hands sorted its away around his shirt. I gripped it tightly signalling for him to take off his shirt next. Yoongi obeyed taking off his shirt quickly before coming back into the kiss. Yoongi leaned into the kiss resulting in me falling back down onto the bed. He wrapped his hands around my thighs directing them around his waist before his hands deepened down into my pants. I felt the slight chill while he did so. I felt my stomach dip at the feeling causing a small whimper to leave my lips. He took this as encouragement as he unbuttoned my pants and stuck his hands into my underwear all while kissing me.
"Fuck, Yoongi."
He hadnt even entered me yet i was already moaning for him. He was surely heightening up my senses making me hyper sensitive to the whole experience. His fingers dipped into my entrance making me squirm under his touch. I felt myself moaning more at just his fingers but also seeking for something more. I threw my head back at the feeling and also the longing feeling of him being inside of me.
"I love it when you moan my name princess."
The pet name had made me moan louder. I was practically dripping wet and Yoongi could tell easily as his fingers were feeling around for my juices. It seemed that Yoongi was getting his own excitement from this as i felt his cock poking against me. He decided to finally put the situation into action as he managed to take off my pant and underwear as he did the same to himself.
He had lined himself up taking control in the situation but still looked me in the eyes asking if this whole occurrence was okay with me. Overall we had been drunk at first but i was no more and i could certainly tell the same had been with him. The alcohol had been replaced with real feelings and how to act upon them so i nodded asking for him to do what was long waited for.
( PSA: Just because youre fucking Yoongi without a condom in this fan fiction doesnt mean that you shouldnt use a condom in real life AGAIN wrap your willy before it gets to silly!)
He slowly filled his cock with my entrance making us both let out a long waited moan. Yoongi had began to grow aggressive as he felt my walls around him. His grip on my waist had increased making the experience intensify in a good way making me moan louder than before. I couldnt believe that we hadnt done anything remotely like this but i was glad it was getting down as of now.
"I beat all your other boyfriend couldnt fuck you as good as I can."
I had only had one boyfriend in my whole life and Yoongi despised him in a way. I hadnt known why but a hatred had sported for him. He hated how he always held my hand and was affectionate as Yoongi knew him himself couldnt do these actions so easily. However times had changed and i was laying with Yoongi instead of him proving him something.
"Only you can, Yoongi."
"Thats right princess."
Yoongi ad began to go harder due to my response aiming to excel. He had easily already been the best guy i had slept with but just the added endurance made things intensify. I felt my walls clenching around me as i sure Yoongi did as his head went to the crook of my neck growling as he met every thrust before i came undone. I let out a series of moans as he did as well before releasing.
Yoongi turned to his side of the bed not knowing how to end on a good note, He hadnt meant for this to happen and neither did i leaving us with an awkward approach. I knew I liked Yoongi and I didnt want our friendship to be forever ruined due to the bump in the road. I wanted to come to terms with this instead of stray away from it so i decided to muster the courage and speak what was on my mind.
"I like you."
I had been looking at the ceiling taking a quick glance at Yoongis back muscles waiting to see how he would react but he didnt. He didnt move nore did he contribute to what I said. I had destroyed our friendship with the gracious amount of temptations. The thoughts commenced my head yet again setting me into  a saddened state. I had begun to scare myself at any possibilities but all that seemed to hush at the sign of reassurance.
Yoongis hand snaked around my hide section bringing us closer together. I felt him kiss my shoulder slightly smiling as if he had finally made the decision that would impact his life in the greatest.His hands wrapped over mine as if they were the most fragile thing in the world as well as they may slip away from his very hands. I was happy with what was occurring and could tell this feeling would never come to a halt and the words that ushered past his lips only confirmed this feeling.
"I love you too."
I had been anxiously biting my finger nails in anticipation. Yoongi had stood on the same stage yet again but held at a different venue. He had been begin judged on his performance staying on the stage trying to keep a collected exterior while awaiting his win.
Throughout his performance i had been sobbing and cheering him on as he preformed one of his so every loving songs. Tonight had been a special one due to it being'First Love'. The dedication he had mustered into each lyric really opened up his true emotions even to people who he didnt know. My cheers only increased as he made eye contact with me smiling slightly to himself at the accomplishments he was living.
He stood on the stage fiddling with his fingers trying not to make it noticeable but however as they called his name as first winner he couldnt contain his excitement. His mouth let out a squeak noise in shock at the sudden win grabbing ahold of the trophy as tears morphed. Theres was always something about the second win that made things seem more eventful. A sense that you actually made it rather being good for one thing.
The sudden jolt of energy had bolted into my whole being needed to be engulfed by his presences just to test how real everything was. Yoongi held his arms wide open as he took in my request rocking us back and forth while we cried into eachother shoulders. The answer began talking into the microphone but i didnt managed to pick anything up as i was to trapped in Yoongis being.
I pulled away wiping away his tears bringing us in a chaste kiss sealing everything. I looked into his glossy orbs taking into everything from each experience. Yoongi had been my best friend and still remained my best friend. He held an extra title is all rather than just being my best friend. My best friend had managed to make such an impact on my life and others as i look around the cheering people who were seated. It took me back to when our professor told us we wouldn't as succeed in life. I had taken up the offer of my dream job while yoongi had been living his dream. most important we had each other of all. Having another body to share these experiences with was the true key of life. Not the riches that came along with it but spending that time with someone.
Yoongi was my someone. He was my best friend and my boyfriend. Most people dreamed of having let alone one while i surpassed both. I truly was lucky and I needed to remind myself of this everyday as i couldnt believe it. I couldnt tell you exactly how it would end but i wanted to focus on the raw beginning. The beginning of our future and what was to come, I described it as a fiery passion with a burning desire of intensity and as he looked me in the eye i could tell he knew this too. We had been in our young adult years and have experienced the hard struggles of life but it was just the beginning.
And i couldn't wait to make more beginnings with him.
*corny i know*
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survivormykonos · 6 years
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Episode #1: “everyone knows I’m here for the drama™️” ~Robbie
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First impressions these people are basic players who wont have very big personalities, and not willing to put a lot of effort into this game. Hopefully thats not the case and its just late so no one is really wide awake :) Because I came to play and I hope thats what everyone else came here to do as well 
Okay so my plan basically worked, winning the first reward competition by placing a good score has opened up one of many avenues to come. Ryan, and Zeezo want to work with me (bad choice for them since I will be winning this aka taking them out eventually but oh well)
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Him hitting it off really well with this tribe they are all so friendly and welcoming, Ain is my main homegirl at the moment she is the best and jared is a nice friendly face so it should be interesting to see what the coming days are like.
so not 30 minutes in and meowth comes out with the question "what if someones racist" which to me carried an air of accusation it was public and clearly meant for all to see it just gives me a bit of an icky feeling towards meowth
I'm glad that others are getting higher scores than me because i definitely don't want to be presenting as a threat in challenges particularity not the first day so i just am hoping that ill land middle of the pack challenge wise
so this immunity is fun i love puzzles like these even though they are hard tbh im not completly happy about our chances but i hope we can push through and win or the other tribes internet fucks up, either or really
so right now the vote seems to be between Robbie and Mewoth (Josh) and tbh i dont care which goes because they havent spoken to me but whatever, in any case id rather keep someone who actually contributed to the challenge and if he doesn't step it up then Josh will be gone next
Going into tribal council i am very nervous, you never know where the vote is until the votes are read and if im on the wrong side of the vote i might not be around much longer
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I dont know whats gonna go down here but i hope i do well
reunited with lukas my love
she sells seashells at the seashore
why is the first vote already so confusing and wild.... just decide on a person
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WHATS UPPPP!!! Can’t say much because I’m busy but I’m stoked!!! Only two other girls on my team tho :/ but it’s ok! I have Stephen who I know but I’ll get into all that later and I have lukas and Sammy on the other tribe who I LOVE TO DEATH but obviously can’t tell anyone that. Ain is on the other side who I hate but I just hope she gets voted out and we never have to interact :’)
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Honestly, living my best life and enjoying the brief small talk with my tribe mates. So far getting a good vibe from everyone but lets be real, shit (I can curse right... I lowkey have always wanted to say that) is definitely going to go down as soon as something goes wrong. But like *shrug*. 
OK LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT TIME THAT I DIDNT WANT TO GRAB THE LIGHT AND SHINE IT ON ME AND WE WIN FIRST IMMUNITY AND I GET SENT TO PARADISE ISLAND!!!!!!!!! Yeah, because like, screw the idea of trying to lay a tad low for the first vote. But hey, I guess when you are working with Zeezo and she tells you the immunity boxes must be evens because of the clue she got, and then you get sent to PI, it can't be all that bad. I'm so shook I don't even know if I'm making sentences rn hahaha. I hate saying this, but like I am so happy with where I am rn, but I def know there is so much more work to put in before my tribe ends up going to tribal. AND SPEAKING OF TRIBES, WHET ON EARTH? Two abstains in the reward and then a tie and only two points in the immunity challenge for Yalos? Did they also think they were cast in ANTM because like same. We've all been there, amiright? Can they continue to do this so I can just breeze my way to merge and start playing this game already??? Please and thank you. 
When I wake up and realize I have so much work to do for school but at least I don't have to worry about going to tribal tonight! I aint mad! At least Im not gonna be the Francesca of this season soooooooo..... 
So... ya boy just beat Jared in a word search comp... and beat him... and went to Super Paradise Island... and idk which greek god is on my side, but one them has ya boy's back because he just the sapphire gem... Like no big deal... I didn't expect to be the first voted out and then just somehow came across getting one of the first big advantages of the game... WE ARE ALL FINE GUYS!!!
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I have Oakley, who voted me out on Athena: Himalayas and Olivia, who I voted out on Atomic: Isle of Skye on my tribe. And my immediate thought is I want to work with them. Olivia more than Oakley, I don’t have any beef with him from another season but he is sneaky. However my strategy especially at this point in the game is just make lersonal connections and pretend to have the strategic knowledge of a goldfish. Here’s hoping it works.
So far I’ve talked to most people but some are easier to connect to than others, Joanna seems the most distant, she responds but it doesn’t feel friendly. But we won, so we’re all good this round. I really hope Ain goes home, shes manipulative, vindictive and isn’t afraid to use underhanded tactics.
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WOAH! So after being recommended to play by a friend, I found out he ALSO recommended Miles to play, although in the other tribe.. I have someone I know here although I kinda got them eliminated in a Twitter Survivor... Hmmm... So far in Kalafati tribe, Im liking Miles and Joanna, Haven't had much contact with the others but they seem really cool. Im so excited to play, Especially with winning a lucky hidden immunity Idol
I’m still waving the flag
I’m still waving the flag I hate that challenge. I got a respectable score but if i did all that just to have the Yalos player stop after a low score, I'll be sad
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My first impressions of the tribe is pretty positive! No immediate negative figures jump out at me. I'm still testing the waters, trying to figure out if any people are potentials for alliance members. Some people like Olivia, Jacob, Miles, Stephen and Thomas have reached out to me which makes them seem like good potentials for friends. However, I want to see how the reward challenge goes before I can evaluate my teammates further. 
It's amazing that we won the reward challenge and I'm so happy that I performed as well as I did. However, I am worried about the immunity challenge. I'm happy with the flash game, but the controls are really wacky and I already know it will take forever to get used to.
I'm honestly a little worried seeing that I didn't preform very well in the immunity challenge. Thankfully, we still managed to pull off a win and we didn't have to worry about tribal. Speaking of tribal, I don't think there is anyway Robbie is going to stay, seeing that he abstained in the reward and striked in the immunity. Also, I feel like I want to work with Olivia, but Miles also seems like a good person to work with, but I haven't approached either of them yet. Still weighing my options and figuring out the best way to proceed. 
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Honestly it doesn’t seem like anyone is playing hard yet which is annoying me. Because I want to play hard, but if no one else is people can get sketched out by highly strategic, social players
Honestly if I finess this vote and stay in the game after forfeiting two comps it will be hilarious. But everyone knows I’m here for the drama™️ Hope no one gets blind sided
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So the first night went..... alright. My tribe wasn’t as energetic or as talkitive as I had expected. It appears as though I am on a tribe with all gay men, which sounds nice in theory, but I’m bracing for the moment these twinks start wildin. Aside from the gays, I know Ain from a past org and am starting to warm back up to her. We will probs stick together for awhile. As of now, that’s all. 
Robbie, queen of being inactive and making cases to stay last minute, came to me with the idea of booting Meowth instead. I said hell yeah! All for that shit! Not that I don’t like Meowth, it’s just I would love to do something unexpected for the first tribal. However, Sammy and Michael seem to be so against it for some reason. Lord knows why. I’m going to aim to be in the majority, but I may just cast my vote for Meowth for the hell of it. 
Ok I don’t quite remember what my last confessional was but I know for a fact I fucked up the names. Robbie is the one on the line, Sammy is just another gay. I swap their names all of the time. 
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I really like this tribe so far! Everyone seems pretty chill and it's nice to know that at the moment, nobody is really mean-spirited. I know that Jacob has some past with the other Miles, but he's on the other tribe, so there's really no past relationships to deal with either, at least that I know of! I think that by far, I'd probably like to align with Olivia and Joanna for sure, and maybe Stephen, Zeezo,  Oakley, and Julian as well? I'd rather not get into scheming this early! I think it'd be much better for my game at the moment not to be the leader or figurehead of a group, but rather an updated member. I guess I'll have to see!
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Alright so... Not a whole lot is going on, it's just the start of the game, we're just doing the first reward challenge. This tribe is just a bit too large for my taste but whatever, I'll manage. Getting to know all these people is interesting, which is funny because the absolute LAST word I would use to describe myself is "interesting"
I'm not entirely sure what use one would have for a fire making kit in an online survivor. Am I meant to set my laptop on fire? ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING????????? lmao...
There's a few people that I'm getting great vibes from. Miles would probably be the biggest one rn. I would love nothing more than to get some sort of alliance going sooner rather than later JUST IN CASE but like I don't want to be the one to actively go out and do it because if someone leaks RIP ME. Idk what I'm doing just yet. We'll figure this out.
We won the first immunity and don't have to vote anyone out, that's awesome. I can't help but feel just a little concerned though, everyone's almost a little TOO peaceful on this tribe. I'm not saying I'd want to LOSE a comp and have to face tribal but the reads I'm getting from everyone is giving me a sense of unease. I do enjoy winning though and wouldn't mind winning out. I'm just saying, I feel very uneasy with the vibes I'm receiving. Good lord I just repeated myself there. Oh well.
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I really like this tribe so far! Everyone seems pretty chill and it's nice to know that at the moment, nobody is really mean-spirited. I know that Jacob has some past with the other Miles, but he's on the other tribe, so there's really no past relationships to deal with either, at least that I know of! I think that by far, I'd probably like to align with Olivia and Joanna for sure, and maybe Stephen, Zeezo,  Oakley, and Julian as well? I'd rather not get into scheming this early! I think it'd be much better for my game at the moment not to be the leader or figurehead of a group, but rather an updated member. I guess I'll have to see!
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I think I'm pretty safe after this immunity challenge. I was one of 2 people to win the head to head for my tribe and therefore I have a chance to go to Paradise Island! I'm trying my best NOT to go though because I think that would put a target on my back very early on.
Right now my closest ally is Matt and I feel that we have a strong bond. We're each other's #1's and talking back and forth over who should go tonight. I'm very torn for who I'm voting for at tribal tonight, it's either Meowth (Josh) or Robbie. I've heard that Robbie may have gotten the majority but I don't feel 100% on wanting him still in the game. Yes, Meowth is weak in challenges but he's another easy vote moving forward in the future.
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So, what's been going for me so far?  Well, reward challenge I busted my ass and showed what I can do, which was great!  WE lost, which sucks, and 2 people didn't submit.  Those 2 were Miles and Robbie.  This made me upset, mostly because Miles I know from my Minecraft UHC days, so we made an instant alliance from that.  Robbie I didn't care about.  Then came immunity, where once again, Robbie was unable to compete, and I still stand by that I was robbed in my challenge because of a shit quality image, but this is what I'm used to from online games like this, so I'll move on (eventually).  We got rekt in immunity, and the obvious choice was looking like Robbie for not submitting twice.  So, being the intelligent player I am, I basically pitched to Robbie that he was going home unless he made a better pitch about someone else.  He aimed at Michael, someone who I somewhat wanted to work with at the time (in hind sight, I wouldn't have cared much).  I proposed, instead, we vote for meowth (Joshua) because he just rubbed me the wrong way, under-performed, and refused to talk game strategy with me at all.  I pulled in Lukas and Jared, as well as had Ain in my pocket, and with the acquiring of Sammy by both me and Robbie, the vote should be set in our favor.  I'm still trying to convince Miles to roll with us so he's not on the losing end of the vote, but I think its 50/50 whether he will or won't.  Honestly, I feel pretty safe with this vote, being that I was a top performer and have shown how active I strive to be in these games.  I'm not super worried about this vote and hope that Robbie sticks around.  Hopefully, he becomes a powerful player and a big help in challenges.  If he's not, he'll go next for sure.  Let's hope I don't live to regret these words!
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I think I’m in a pretty safe spot right now, but we def have people who think they are running the show around here...SIT DOWN or else you’ll become a target early😉 but I like everyone just don’t know who we should keep...someone who hasn’t been active or someone who tries but does not communicate. Eh either way I’m not on the chopping block sooooo. Okay wow that sounds rude but um i like everyone:) yikes
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Honestly, this is a fung ame and a fun set of people. Just hope my time here isn't too short.
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So far I feel pretty good about my tribe even though there a couple people I forgot to ever talk to oops. We seem to be good at challenges and get along well. I've connected most with Ryan so far and told him my idol clue to gain his trust. He's told me he trusts me the most out of anyone so that's good. After we talked we decided to pull in a 3rd and settled with Thomas since he got the best score in the reward challenge. After consulting with Ryan I decided to share my clue with Thomas too and the 3 of us officially performed an alliance. I think with this alliance my goal is to think more long term. Thomas is probabaly going to on Tinder performing well at challenges and be a shield for me. He also doesn't seem to talk to a lot of other people. Meanwhile Ryan seems like the type of person who might play too hard so he could be another shield. Plus we get along really well so far so that's good :') We might pull in a 4th for the alliance later since Thomas is kind of inactive and Ryan suggested Stephen so I'm interested to see how that will pan out. In other news Ryan got sent to paradise island and got the sapphire gem thing so that's great :') So if one of us finds the idol we should have great power in the game so I'm looking forward to the rest of the game 
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Nothing is going really because we have been on a winning streak and have been crushing it. I knew Stephen from a previous game and we agreed to work together. He is not being extremely subtle about it but I think he wants to work with Olivia because he has mentioned her a lot and how he likes her. I don't mind that because I do like her but I am worried about the two of them being closer to each other than to me because I know they know each other. I am really liking Ryan as well and would like to work with him. I am worried I am not being as social as I should be because I do notice that I don't talk to as many people as I would like. Miles I have talked to a bit but haven't built much of a relationship with him and everyone else I have said hi to and talked to a bit but I haven't really built anything or know anything about them. I just hope we can win long enough for me to build those relationships because I am worried that I am one of the two people to lose my round in the immunity challenge.
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lockewoodandco · 6 years
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Crossover is Bad
This is not a gr8 review, i’m just throwing my thoughts down after first watch (cause hell no im not watching it again and i have no patience to even torrent it for a review i don’t have my full faith in cause im not actually a reviewer). I’m also not jewish so this won’t go into depth about how they handled that cause i don’t actually know anything more than the history aspect. 
I should also mention that even though I riff on the writers a lot, I doubt it’s all their fault. Although this whole thing can basically be summed up by I Complain But Also Give Everyone The Benefit Of The Doubt so you know, make your own opinion. I don’t know everything and if you do, you’re lucky. Impart to us your wisdom, maybe. 
also shout out to the first time I have an opinion on tumblr.
if its not apparent already, spoilers.
Crossover is Worse Than You Think
First order of business, let’s get through the problems with the mechanics of the show before we go into the fact that the whole premise is Bad.
 The way everyone just... appeared? Bad. you have all these writers and none of them can think of a way to explain absences and appearances? If you’re working with so many characters, that should be your first order of business. Assign certain people to keep track of certain character if you have to. Why aren’t certain characters at the wedding scene? (*cough* RAY) Why was Mick at the wedding when anyone in their right mind would expect it to cause more problems than it did? Why didn’t Mick bring Ray or Amaya? Despite his grumbling, I would think it would have made sense if Ray was asked to be Mick’s +1, as Ray would be the perfect buffer, and given their history as acknowledged on screen, it would show how far their friendship has come especially after Ray disappeared during their trust fall. Also, why weren’t all the legends invited? Why wasn’t all of team arrow invited? Why wasn’t all of team flash invited? Dibny? gone. did they even invite him? are you telling me he didn’t clock in at all when there were very obvious Nazi’s literally swarming? what is his excuse?
the problem is, these characters have no excuses for being absent. No one mentions why Dibny is awol, no one mentions “oh, [character] couldn’t make it” or “[character] is [possibly comics throwback]”. When some characters just magically appear halfway through like “oh, we were just waiting for you to call even though we gave no reason for us not to know about the nazis especially since we already seem completely briefed.” no mention of a previous anachronism or baddie they were busy doing while most people were at the wedding. Nothing like “we just got back fighting [baddie/in year] and now we gotta punch some nazi’s.” where was everyone? apparently just waiting offscreen for their turn to kick ass. 
another missing character that definitely should have been invited; Hartley Rathaway. there's not a single mention of him. he’s good now!!! where is he!!!! I want a scene where cisco sneaks away and calls him up like, “i know you and barry are awkward considering everything but he invited you so i think you should be here!!!” have Andy call in his roll, maybe have someone shoot a sound thing off screen and think it’s canary when it definitely isn’t! This man still exists in canon as a friend of team flash, at least mention why he couldnt make it!!!!! 
I’m not that great! I don’t know shit! I’m an amateur writer barely making it through writing his first book! But I do know that instead of humanizing Nazi’s with love, you could have spent a little more time fleshing out the world your main characters are in. i mean seriously. bringing in just a mention of hartley rathaway? Bam. a question everyone’s been asking is answered AND your universe feels more real by the fact that this character is now probably doing something completely independent of any storyline.  there are ways to use these characters even when their actors are not available. you own the rights to use these characters!!! the actors dont own them!!! they arent automatically off the table, especially cause a lot of them have masks on, put them in a background shot my dude! like i said before, you don’t even have to have any part of them or their costume on screen to show they still exist! this! is! not! news! this is working with what you got, and you got a lot more than you think you do! if you actually don’t have the power to do that, then you must have the worst contract negotiator known to mankind. 
that was longer than i anticipated me going on for, but next problem: Leo
once again, appeared out of nowhere, this time in a fully populated area where he should have come barging in, obvious signs of cold chaos behind him, probably moving quite similar to his counterpart. maybe give barry more of a shock, instead of just a look of, “oh, he’s nice this time, thats kinda unexpected.” why? cause it’s not unexpected. not for Barry at least. 
you know what i dont buy? aloof Leonard Snart. Sure, it makes a good act, but is it one that Leo would hold up next to Mick? especially when he seems to drop it for his boyfriend. Do you really think that Leo would not notice the way Mick refers to him, and not try to give him some form of comfort besides a passing sentence that feels like the equivilant of “get over it.” they both lost each other, leo may not be as close to his mick as mick was to len, but we already know that Leonard Snart is far from emotionally stunted, his last iteration was full of emotion and you can tell that this Leo is the same, if not even more, so where even a single second of understanding before the scene cuts. It feels like you did this to address a fan concern, without seeing it as your concern. guess what? it is your concern! why? cause its a loose thread, and it was pointed out for a reason. The script is getting on the level of a daytime soap my dude. whatever internal problem is causing this lack of quality, it needs to be addressed. And don’t let me hear about it cause I don’t want to know! I just want to see it improved! 
A bit of good that came from that scene, Mick struggling to figure out how he should verbally react to the way he died on Earth X. 
Also, giving Len a boyfriend, pretty good. i have nitpicks but they arent important to this.
Alex
Sex is not character development! If you gotta have it, it should have been after the heart to heart with Sara! I do get it to a certain extent though, but the way it’s handled leaves a lot more to be desired. you get this pickup to a good minor plot that just can’t be completed. I can’t even see how this helped Sara grow as a character in any way, even though it was probably supposed to be about seeing damien darhk again and dealing with him, but you don’t hear that! Just a little line about Laurel. Minor complaint, they missed out on mentioning Sara also has the whole, my sister has an evil doppelganger thing, Although I don’t think she knows so I’m mourning the loss of the impossible on this one. Circumstantial humour there. 
The Ray
have we seen him before? on any dctv show? I dont know! i have no clue! He looks familiar but I even googled it and nothing! (doesn’t help that he shares a name with Ray Palmer) He’s supposed to be from Earth 1, right? Where is he! please tell me, I wanna know. He looks familiar but I could just be giving you the benefit of the doubt! you can’t just be like “oh he’s also from earth 1″ and just leave it there. How? And then he doesn’t stay and I doubt that the rest of the team really cares but I care! i care a lot!
also, why is Eobard Thawne the same Eobard? i mean, I forgot how much i enjoyed Tom’s performance as Eobard, good on you, you almost got me distracted, but like, he cant just (say it with me guys) appear. also, he has no motivation! cool! i hate it! the only thing i could possibly think of is he just wants to see his earth again but also he hates the time period so what!!! literally just make him a different Eobard! you don’t need to explain why his face is Tom because you already explained that Earth X is just Earth 1 with Nazis! (which um, also time doesn’t work that way, especially with mass genocide and jewish characters)
with leads me to my next problem!
time doesn’t work that way, especially with mass genocide and jewish characters!!!
also, you mean to tell me in a world where everything’s the same except nazi’s, that Kara Zor-El did not immediately rage against the machine, especially if the who earth looked like a burning sepia photograph. also, dead bodies! same on any planet! She’s gunna freak! you can’t escape death and wholeheartedly accept genocide like that! not without a very good reason. really, instead of giving kara/x a dumb love thing, maybe make it about what shaped each of their beliefs despite coming from the same beginnings cause once again, it was established that everything’s the same except nazi’s, so krypton still died. and since you gotta shoehorn arrow in Bad Town, make it an unrequited love! cool! Cause Nazi’s portrayed on tv don’t deserve happiness! Sadly I can’t stop actual Nazi’s from finding love! Wish I could! Also why is Oliver the weak link when he’s the Fuhrer? its dumb, really dumb. also, Overgirl’s death is dumb, especially since it should have killed Kara as well. Basic logic says if a blast kills your doppelganger and you’re pretty close to next to them (guessing that Kara was able to escape a ways even though they were shown to be basically next to each other) you’re going to get more than a little falling action.
Also, you know what happens to jewish characters (and basically anyone who’s not a cis straight aryan at that point) on Earth X? pretty fucking obvious. You know what happens when you lose that much of a population and try to compare it to an earth without that loss? You realize you lose a lot more than you think, and a lot more things change. you probably don’t even have to think about it that hard, someone’s probably already done that thought experiment!
Here’s one I gotta shoehorn in,
Joe mentions the fact that Iris and Barry are both his children in a speech when they’re about to get married. Heres an option: Dont! Say how much he enjoyed seeing them grow up together without mentioning any familial bond that connects the two people getting married. Cool! You know why? Crossovers pull in new viewers! Also Supergirl has a younger audience! These! People! Don’t! Know! Any! Better! 
Killing a Canon Jewish Character in an Episode about Nazi’s
There’s no way to paint this in a way that’s not shitty, especially when he didn’t have to die. You could have let him go back to his family. I can’t imagine what the thought process for this was. Shock value?! I don’t know. Maybe, because everyone expected Victor’s end to be Stein going home to his family. If it was, this really wasn’t the episode to do it in.
Next Up! Nazis!
Not good! Trying to backpedal and make your main villains have a non-nazi-ish reason for conflict? Worse! Nazi’s don’t deserve sympathy! They aren’t just a group of people in history! They’re a group of people in history who advocated for and took part in the absolute slaughter of millions. The numbers I checked agree it was near a billion when you include beyond just those who were jewish. What makes it worse is that this stain on human history has not died out. Sure, we all love punching Nazi’s, but as I understand, theres a lot more to it than that. Now we get into the part where my expertise lacks. As I understand it, one of the biggest problems in the comics is jewish coded heroes fighting as Nazis. How well did they avoid this? I don’t know! Someone please add to this! I want to know! 
So, if I hated the crossover, why did I watch it?
The flippant answer is that i hate-watched it. watched it for the sole purpose of leaving a bad review. That’s not really the reason. If it was, why would i complain on tumblr of all places? i think the real reason was that I just had to know. I just wanted to give the dctv the benefit of the doubt because I love the flash so much, and that love ends up extending through a lot of the other shows and characters, and I wanted to trust that even though the whole premise was Bad, that they had a handle on it. I keep coming back because I’ve grown attached to these characters so much, leaving feels like leaving a part of me. But that’s just me, a lot of other people have their reasons for staying, and a lot of it is no longer about the quality of the show itself. It means we’re all holding on by our fingernails desperately trying to hold on to that magic or pretend it hasn’t faded. Eventually we’re going to let go. What does that mean for the show? Are they just going to lose a small portion of fans, or a whole sector? How many are going to find the changes better than the previous season and take our place? I dont know! i live in an internet bubble my dude! Tumblr isn’t great for gathering analytics! All I know is, bad writing doesn’t make or break a cw show. It’s the cw, I mean what do you expect? I signed up for this, i made my bed, i’ve chosen to lie in it, I can get up whenever i want, its just a matter of when because some day, I’m going to get fed up. You might have my view for a little while longer, but you won’t have my confidence, you won’t have my support.
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yoon-kooks · 7 years
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Beginner’s Luck
Pairing: Seokjin x Reader
Summary: You were never a believer in online dating, but things weren’t exactly working out offline either. So what was it that you were missing?
Genre: Fluff, Gamer!AU
Word Count: 3.5k
Prompt: “Can I kiss you?” (request by anon)
You laid on your bed staring at your phone screen, mindlessly swiping left. Your best guy friend, Jungkook, had suggested you try out some dating apps since meeting people face-to-face was a bit difficult for a shy snowflake like yourself.
It had been a few hours since Jungkook had set up an account for you, but you had yet to find someone who really caught your eye. Not that looks were all that important to you anyway. If anything, you’d prefer not to see their face and just get to know their personality instead.
“You might as well deactivate your account if you have no intentions of swiping right,” Jungkook glanced over at you before turning back to his laptop screen, “Shit, I just died.”
“I just don’t get how meeting someone online could ever work,” you rolled over to see what your friend had “died” in. All you saw were a bunch of little anime characters running around attacking a giant fish that literally took up half the screen. “I haven’t seen this game before… Is it new?”
“Ya! It came out a few days ago and I’ve been hooked ever since!” The boy clicked something to revive his character and travelled back to where you assumed the giant fish was. “You should play too since I haven’t made too many friends yet!”
“What about Tae?” You tried to avoid getting yourself involved in Jungkook’s gaming addiction by name-dropping the other gamer in your friend group.
“Nah, I asked him but he’s too busy playing Overwatch,” Jungkook shrugged. “The boy’s an addict, I tell ya.” You rolled your eyes at the biggest addict you knew.
“Well what about the people you met in the game?”
“There’s this one guy, Jinnamon, who goes to the same school as us, and I actually met up with him the other day in person.” The boy cursed under his breath after dying again. “He’s a pretty cool dude, but he kept making weird dad jokes.”
“If that’s your only complaint, he can’t be that bad, right?”
“I suppose…” Jungkook finally just flipped his laptop over and rage-quit after dying for a third time. “I GIVE UP. Here, if you don’t wanna make your own account, just use mine because I’m 100% done with this shit. It’s a stupid game anyway.” You snickered at the boy’s childish temper because you knew he’d be back online after a few hours of boredom. But in the meantime, you decided to check out the game that had gotten him all fired up.
It wasn't just a fighting game, you learned. There were also little mini games and quests you could do with other people, and also places just for chatting. You walked around the town where most people gathered for a little while and then headed to where you thought the giant fish was. It took you about ten minutes to find it, but once you did, you started hitting random buttons on the keyboard to use all different types of magic on the fish. And before you knew it, the fish had been slayed so you picked up the fish bone that dropped. You didn’t understand why a veteran gamer like Jungkook had had such a hard time defeating the monster when it had been so easy for a newbie like yourself. But what were you supposed to do next??
“Hey Kookie?” You tapped the shoulder of the boy who had fallen asleep on your bed, but he was out. Probably because he had stayed up all night playing the game. Not wanting to interrupt his sleep, you decided to ask someone else.
You searched for some kind of messaging system within the game, and once you did, you realized you were only able to message people on your friend list. Since Jungkook had specifically mentioned that Jinnamon guy, you clicked on his name to start a chat.
Nochu: “um hi”
Jinnamon: “oh its u again”
Jinnamon: “i thought u left me lol”
Nochu: “no that was my friend ^^;; he didnt like your dad jokes lol”
Jinnamon: “wait ur friend? u mean jungkook? who r u then o.o?”
Nochu: “Y/N”
Jinnamon: “o im seokjin btw but just call me jin ok”
Nochu: “lol i understand your username now. thats cute😹”
Jinnamon: “rlly? most ppl hate my puns LIKE UR FRIEND”
Nochu: “wowow someones salty hehe”
Jinnamon: “im NOT”
Nochu: “you kinda are /:”
Jinnamon: “ANYWAY. why is a peasant like u speaking to me?”
Nochu: “peasant???”
Jinnamon: “obviously knights like me are superior to mages like u”
Nochu: “i dont really know what youre talking about but okay???”
Jinnamon: “wow what a noob”
Nochu: “gtg bye”
Jinnamon: “WAIT. im just kidding! rlly. what do u need?”
Nochu: “i killed a fish and idk what to do???”
Jinnamon: “lol what fish?”
Nochu: “the big one in the cave that takes up like half the screen? idk what its called”
Jinnamon: “wHAT”
Nochu: “???”
Jinnamon: “pics or it didnt happen”
Nochu: “what pics?? all i have is this fish bone item???”
Jinnamon: “tHATS THE QUEST ITEM OMFG U RLLY DID KILL IT WTF”
Nochu: “what do i do with it?????”
Jinnamon: “give it to me of course lol”
Nochu: “how do i do that?”
Jinnamon: “omg u rlly r a noob”
Nochu: “what?? ive never played this before!! how am i supposed to know??”
Jinnamon: “first of all the trading option is on the bottom right of the screen”
Jinnamon: “and second dont just give away ur quest items to strangers lol”
Jinnamon: “so now that we cleared that up, what r u gonna do with the fish bone?”
Nochu: “give it to u???”
Jinnamon: “omfg no… ur hopeless”
Jinnamon: “i guess i have no choice but to take u under my wing”
Jinnamon: “can we meet up?”
Nochu: “like in person??????”
Jinnamon: “ya its easier to explain this stuff in person”
You thought about it for a moment. Jungkook did say he met up with this Seokjin guy before and that he was a pretty cool dude from your university, so it was safe to assume he wasn’t a creeper at the very least.
Nochu: “okay lets meet in front of the school library in an hour?”
Jinnamon: “got it~ ill send u my number so we can text”
You logged out of the game and packed Jungkook’s laptop into your bag. Honestly, you were beyond nervous about meeting Seokjin in person. While you were fairly comfortable with keeping up a conversation with him in the game, you weren’t sure how things would go outside of that environment. But you reminded yourself that the two of you would have the game to talk about, so there was no reason to worry about any awkward silences.
You glanced at the mirror to check your outfit before scolding yourself for making it seem like a date. Just as you walked out of your apartment, you silently said bye to Jungkook who was still dead asleep.
It was a sunny day on campus, a nice change from the darkness in your room that Jungkook loved to play his games in. When you reached the library, you scanned the area for an empty bench to sit on as you waited. But thanks to your luck, all the benches were occupied with at least one person. Of course, there was still room for you to sit next to someone, but the thought of that gave you butterflies.
Just when you were about to take a seat on the brick wall instead, you noticed a lone boy sitting at one end of one of the longer benches. If you sat there, it probably wouldn’t be so bad since there would be a fair amount of space between you and the boy. So you approached the bench.
“Um, excuse me, is it okay if I sit here?” You stared at the boy who was significantly more attractive up close than from a distance. He definitely stood out with his broad shoulders and his more than handsome face with beautifully plump pink lips.
“Yeah, go ahead,” the boy nodded, “I’m just waiting for someone.”
“Oh, me too,” you smiled at his adorable choppy bangs before taking a seat at the opposite end of the bench. Who knew such a stunning boy existed at your school?
You checked the time on your phone and saw that you were about five minutes early. Rather than text Seokjin immediately, you decided to wait a bit so he wouldn’t feel rushed.
To kill time, your eyes began to wander. Your campus was known for its breathtaking scenery, but somehow all you wanted to look at was the choppy bangs boy. He was looking down at his phone, texting away. You wondered who he was waiting for. A date maybe? The only thing that snapped you out of your daze was the vibration of your phone.
2:02PM Seokjin “im here~”
2:03PM noob “me too lol”
2:04PM noob “wait where??”
2:05PM noob “i just realized i have no idea what you look like lmao”
2:06PM Seokjin “im sitting on one of the benches”
You noticed Choppy Bangs looking up from his phone and scanning the area.
2:07PM noob “uhh… youre not the guy sitting next to me right lol”
2:08PM noob “the guy with the choppy bangs?”
2:08PM Seokjin “…”
2:09PM noob “oh shit it IS you o.o”
“What do you mean ‘oh shit’??” Choppy Bangs turned to you and made some kind of a squeaky windshield wiper sound with his laugh. “And they’re not choppy bangs!”
“Sorry!” you giggled. “So you’re really Jin?? I didn’t expect you to look like that.” You were still in shock that you were the lucky person the handsome boy had been waiting for.
“Like what?” Seokjin raised an eyebrow at you. “I swear, Jungkook said the same exact thing when he saw me for the first time. Like, am I really that handsome?”
You just nodded, trying not to laugh. Maybe he came off a bit strong, but as a shy person yourself, you actually really envied how he embraced his good looks and spoke so comfortably around you. “Shall we go inside, then?”
The two of you made your way into the library and found an empty table next to the window. Rather than sit across from you, Seokjin took the seat right next to you. But it made sense since he needed to show you how to play the game properly.
“Was that really the first time you played this game?” Seokjin asked with big eyes as he brought out his laptop from his bag.
“Ya, I swear!” You took out Jungkook’s laptop and waited for the game to load. When you were presented with the log-in screen, you realized you made a grave mistake. You had no idea what Jungkook’s password was.
After logging into his own account, Seokjin stared at your confused expression for a second and picked up on your problem. All he did was make his squeaky laughing sounds.
With bright red cheeks, you called your friend and prayed that he would pick up to tell you his password. Otherwise, what was the point of meeting up with Seokjin? You’d feel terrible if you made him come all this way only for you to be locked out of Jungkook’s account.
But of course, Jungkook didn’t pick up. He was probably still fast asleep and wouldn’t wake up for who knows how long. So you sent him a text instead in hopes that he would get the message some time soon.
“He better reply quickly,” you groaned.
“Well, in the meantime,” Seokjin slid his laptop in front of you. “Show me how you killed the fish~”
“What? You still don’t believe me?” you smirked.
“Well considering you can’t even get past the log-in screen, no, I don’t believe you.”
“Okay you have a point hehe,” you smiled as you looked at Seokjin’s character, which also coincidentally had his same choppy bangs. You pressed a few buttons, but rather than magic attacks like Jungkook’s character, you were swinging a sword around. “Hey, this is different from Jungkook’s guy.”
“That’s because I’m a knight and he’s a mage!!” Seokjin shook his head at you. “Didn’t I explain this already?”
“Yeah, but I don’t know what the fuck knights and mages are!” you pouted, shoving the boy next to you.
“That’s because you’re a noob,” he teased, giving you a light shove back.
“At least I could kill the fish thing!” You moved Seokjin’s character back to the giant fish’s cave and waited for it to spawn.
“Hmm, we’ll see.” And with that, the giant fish appeared. You jumped around and swung your sword, but it was a lot more difficult to control a knight. Just when the fish’s health bar was lowered to the red, you fell victim to one of its attacks where it literally threw up water in your face. A tombstone dropped and Seokjin’s character became a ghost.
“Omg look! You died! You’re a ghost~” you giggled, pointing at Seokjin’s floating character.
“Listen, the fish was supposed to die, not me,” the boy chuckled at your innocence.
“Sorry I couldn’t get you the fish bone though…” You made duck lips and tilted your head in Seokjin’s direction.
“That’s alright,” he patted your head. “You’re not bad for a noob.”
“Stop calling me a noob! You’re the noob~” You grabbed his hand off your head and started pulling at his fingers. “What do you need the fish bone for anyway? Can you become rich and famous with it?”
“You just give it to some witch for a quest. It’s a pretty useless item actually,” he shrugged.
“What! I thought it was important!” you whined. “I thought I was really cool for defeating the fish!! You made me feel special!!”
“I mean, you were the first to kill it, so that’s pretty cool, right?” Seokjin swatted at your annoying hands that were still tugging on his so he could properly entwine his fingers with yours.
“I guess…” You were starting to feel a bit foolish for thinking you were some hotshot after killing some fish in a video game, but Seokjin was really making you feel extra special with the way he held your hand so gently. And you didn’t want it to end.
Buzz! You jumped at the sudden vibration in your pocket. Whoever sent that text better have had a really good reason for interrupting your moment.
3:34PM Kookie “my password is ilyjustin”
3:35PM Kookie “wait why do you need my password?”
3:36PM Kookie “wait where the fuck is my laptop?”
3:38PM Y/N “i have it lmao”
3:39PM Kookie “???”
3:39PM Kookie “dont break my baby”
3:40PM Kookie “oh god its too early in the morning for this shit”
3:41PM Kookie “good night”
You put your phone away, a little upset that Jungkook had ended up responding so quickly. Things had been going surprisingly well without Seokjin even teaching you how to play the game. You just felt good around the boy.
“I guess I can log into Jungkook’s account now…” You flipped the laptop screen up and began inputting the password, but Seokjin was quick to put a halt to your typing.
“Maybe we should take a break?” He got up and stretched before extending a hand out to you. “We can always play online later, right?”
You nodded and took his hand into your own before you had the chance to chicken out. “So where are we going?”
“Have any suggestions?” He swung your hand back and forth. You had to take a moment to think, but there actually was a place you had been dying to visit. And the only reason why you hadn’t gone there yet was because you had no one to go with. But now you did.
“The aquarium!” Your eyes sparkled. “I wanna see big fish!”
“Like the one you slaughtered and then got slaughtered by?” The windshield wiper laugh came out again. It was a sound you were growing really fond of.
“Yeah~ Can we go?” You looked up to Seokjin, who smiled back at you.
“Sure~”
-
“Oooh! Jin, look!!” You repeatedly tapped the boy’s shoulder until he turned to the flat, gliding creature you were pointing at in the tank. “It’s cute, right?”
“You think stingrays are cute?” he asked. “You have really weird taste, ya know that?”
“I like most fish, okay?” you pouted and crossed your arms like a child. “All of them excep-” You cut yourself off and took a step away from the tank when you saw a giant grey and white fish with rows and rows of dangerously sharp teeth staring right at you. “Except that.” You hid behind Seokjin and peeked out from his broad shoulders.
“Aww I thought you wanted to see big fish?” he teased.
“But not a shark!!” You clung to the back of his flannel, shaking as you kept an eye on the great white.
Suddenly, Seokjin’s large hand wrapped around yours as your heartbeat slowed and returned to its normal pace. It wasn’t hard to feel safe in his hands. “Let’s go look for other big fish, yeah?”
“Okay…” You were still pouty, but you really enjoyed holding his hand. It just felt so natural and right. And you appreciated how much Seokjin was trying to make sure you were comfortable.
The next room you walked into was darker than the rest. You stayed as close as you could to Seokjin in case any shark wanted to jump out at you, even though you were well aware that that was physically impossible.
Your eyes grew big and your mouth formed a big O when you looked at the glowing tank in the center of the room.
“You like jellyfish too?” The boy chuckled at the curiosity in your eyes.
You only nodded. The way the jellies flowed and glowed so effortlessly in the water felt unreal. Almost as unreal as the fact that you were genuinely falling for a boy you had just met online. And you needed a moment to let all your feelings sink in.
“Hey, Jin?”
“Yeah?”
“What did you think of me when I first talked to you online?”
“I thought you were a noob. And it turns out, you really are one.” He leaned his head on your shoulder. You elbowed his stomach. “But I also thought you were pretty cute and innocent. Turns out I was right about that too.”
“Really?” You looked up to the boy with your puppy eyes. “Because to be honest, I didn’t expect you to be cute at all~”
“What!”
“But I’ll admit I was wrong~” you giggled. “You’re super handsome and nice, and I really liked spending time with you, and-”
Seokjin cut you off with a warm embrace. Your whole body felt the heat radiating from the boy’s chest. He’d make an excellent snuggle buddy, your pure and innocent mind noted. “Today was fun,” he spoke into your ear.
“It was!” You gave the boy a huge smile as your eyes wandered right onto his plush pink lips. There was only one more thing that could make the day any better. “Can I kiss you~?”
The next moment, you felt his lips pressed up against yours. You had thought nothing would feel better than holding his hand, but the sensation of your lips locking with his was more than enough to solidify everything. You had found the one.
Just earlier that morning, you were swiping left on some dating app, doubtful that meeting someone online would ever result in a relationship or love. Four hours ago, you were fighting some stupid fish. Three hours ago, you were insulted by some boy calling you a noob. Two hours ago, you met that same boy in person. An hour ago, you accidentally turned his character into a ghost. And just now, you kissed him as if a spark had gone off somewhere in your heart. It was never that meeting someone face-to-face was difficult, or that online dating was a hoax. It was just that you hadn’t found the right boy until that very moment.
You just had one hope as your lips parted with his. When you left the aquarium, when you went back to playing that silly online game, or when you decided to quit the game because it was kind of boring, you only hoped your relationship with Seokjin would continue to bloom, both online and off.
“Hey! We never found the big fish!!” you cried, walking out of the darkness of the aquarium and into the brightness of the setting sun.
“Oh shit you’re right…” Seokjin stroked his imaginary beard. “Okay, here’s a question to make you feel better.”
You tilted your head with a confused look.
“Are we… o-fish-ally dating?” You weren’t sure if you were laughing because the joke was so terrible, because the windshield wiper laugh came out once more, or simply because you were with the boy you loved.
“I suppose we are,” you giggled, wrapping your arms tightly around Seokjin as he planted a kiss on your forehead. “And by the way, I was kind of waiting for you to drop a dad joke all day.”
“Sorry to keep you waiting!”
“It’s okay, let’s just go and fight the other big fish together~” You gave him one last peck on the cheek before heading home, hand in hand.
A/N: Shoutout to any og maplers who caught my pianus reference LMAO~
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so i spoke to jill and this is the first time she didnt completely bitch on me, like i told her about the blog and what i kinda wrote and how its gotten so repetitive but helps me deal with the fact i cant text you all this stuff. she asked if i would ever show you and i said no unless you didnt believe me when i say i still love you or if say we were to get back together and we were like hanging out and you needed some reassurance that i still love you so much and that you are more than enough for me. i told her that these are all raw feelings and some things i would be hesitant to let you read but i feel that i shouldnt hold back my experience especially since this is how i always felt. i told her that i mentioned i never felt 100% comfortable around your family and she said okay maybe then dont show him. i told her that its not something youve never known and how ive always been so honest with you. like when your mom was talking about politics and i kinda tensed up and you took over the convo or when i went to vanessas house and when i was in a convo you would jump in. at first i hated it it drove me crazy because i was trying to get to know them but after you told me its because you knew that was a hard thing for me to do. and she said that was absolutely adorable of you. she also said that she misses you a lot. she misses sitting on the couch while we watch “stupid” shows and you explaining every little detail. it was cute. i wasnt the only person who loves and misses you, my family loves and misses you too. she just didnt want to tell me earlier because she didnt know how i would react. she also said somehting to me that made me feel a lot better about this whole thing. if im being honest, ive gotten really crazy, like whenever i go on insta i always check to see if youre on too. its weird but comforting its the only thing i have of you actively still. im so sorry if i do end up showing you this and you think im crazy but maybe i am? but anyway i stayed up all night the day before my chem final studying and i noticed you werent on for a while so i figured you went to sleep. i never ever post stories to my finsta and i did this night so i wanna say a notification went out mentioning that i posted a story. you were the second person to see it so i guess once you saw the notification you checked. it made me feel better about this, like maybe you were checking to see if i was out or how i was doing or something, but it felt like okay he still cares. when i told jill that she agreed with me on how you still cared and that it was good. i just wish i knew how you felt. i dont want to be the fool who was waiting this whole time to find out you actually didnt care. but jill also brought up a good point that i havent thought of in a while. when i was freaking out and going through our texts over and over and over again, the words you chose whether you thought about them or not did show a little of your intentions. it was just the actions that threw me. but words like “separated” and “if you want to end it all completely” and how you really need this for you. i just read over our messages, im sorry i was so mean and selfish, i just going through the motions ya know? every day felt like forever and i do still wake up every morning hoping for a call from you. i just never knew how i could get through another day without talking to you. i think the only reason i havent called yet was because this is keeping me from it. jill said that you probably do wanna call me or text me, but youre nervous to because we agreed at the end of the semester. youre probably sitting there hoping id call you too in the back of your head and maybe were both sitting here like uuhh end of the semester. the way she talked to me tonight it feels like right after your last final youll call.. it would be really cool if you did. i mean then we could figure everything out. it seems like a much bigger possibility that you would need more time, but i just want to hear your voice again. i wanna see you i wanna give you a hug and pull any sadness or worry out of you. i wanna be on talking terms with you because i definitely do not like this. i cant see you jumping for the phone once you get out, but i could see you thinking about it. reading over our messages i hate myself. i was so mean to you i was so selfish i wasnt as understanding as i was right away compared to a few days later. i wanted to but i just felt this huge weight on my heart and i felt it breaking and i had no idea what to do. i hope you havent moved on. i hope im still yours in your head. maybe at first glance i have been showing you that i moved on, but look a lil deeper. i havent, in fact i think i miss you more now than ever before. its been a month and i still think about you every day and still wanna love you and get married and have babies. if that was too quick for you im sorry, i just never saw a future with someone more than you. i was really really selfish. i mean i kept thinking about the work ive done and discrediting all the things that you have done for yourself. it takes courage to let someone you love go for the sake of yourself. it doesnt sound courageous it sounds obvious to do but it is not an easy task. i mean that aside everything else youve done. im looking at it as okay this is what you have this is what you have to do, but its probably much easier to say to do it than to actually have it and get it done. i probably shouldve recognized that more. i mean i see it first hand every day. but i cannot stress how proud i was and how proud i still am of you trying therapy trying to get a schedule trying to do the thing that you have to do for yourself all while working to keep me happy. thank you for that. it took me a little bit longer to see and its not something thats easy for me to stay completely calm with because of the type of relationship we have, but please know that i do want to. i didnt want to put the blame on you above having to work with you for this for so long for you to dump me. i should have never added that burden onto you. i never would take back those six months, i never would ever want you to think i just did that because we were in a relationship, i want you to know that i did try working with you because i wanted to. it was brave of you to tell me all these things. youre very prideful and i can only imagine what it took for you to even bring this stuff up with me. i should have been much more level-headed and understanding. i wish i could have made you happier, i wish i couldve been a stronger girlfriend for you, i wish you didnt have to go through all of that alone for so long. im happy you told me though, im happy you were mature enough to do something so risky for the sake of you and us. it shows me who you are as a person. (just next time can we try to work together, im just thinking hypotheticals but if we were married or had a family and needed time to step back... i dont know how that would play out.) for that tho im praying you learned a new way to calm yourself down when things got overwhelming or maybe a new hobby so if you started to feel sad or needed time away from life you werent just sitting in bed becuase although that might feel great it does more damage than anything else. im praying you learned more about what causes this, whether its a big paper coming up, or a grade thats expected, or maybe you slipped in one class and now youre slipping in another that makes you not want to do any work. something so that when it does happen you can be like no i know this pattern lets try to subside it. thats ultimately what i want you to be able to do and maybe this break was what you needed the most. i should've known better tho, i shouldve known that you werent yourself and things were off and it wasnt something wrong with me but something wrong with you. i mean the signs were there. not jillian or carols signs but they were there. i cant wait to hear about everything that youve done! im so excited to hear form you again. i hope its sooner rather than later, but either way id be happy. i love you so much and ill always love you with all of my heart, never think that i wont please.
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survivekohsai · 6 years
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Episode 3 - These Little Binches Keep Going To Exile And Mutinying!!!!!!!! ~ Richie
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I am legit FUCKING PISSED!!! I LOST TWO ALLIES THAT WERE GOOD FOR MY GAME. 4 PEOPLE DID TYLER, I GOT LIED TOO BY A MAJORITY OF THEM!!!! BECAUSE JACKSON SAID 5 (ME, himself, Linus, Mo and QUILL) but Kelsey said so as well so which is 6. SO SOMEONE IS FUCKING LYING TO ME!!! AND I AM LEGIT PISSED OFF TO THE EXTENT IF THESE BITCHES WANNA PLAY CUTTHROAT ILL CUTTHROAT BACK NOW 
I am so alone in this game.... like FOR REALS! I can't trust anyone in this game! Like everyone is a liar and a backstabber.... like can't anyone tell me the truth for once!!!! I put my trust and people used that against me! I am cutting the loose ends and going ham on challenges now. I DARE THE OTHER TRIBE TO PICK TYLER AGAIN I DARE THEM!!!
I'm so pissed and sad.. like why can't anything go the way it is planned! I just really want this game to be fucking over give Tyler his unanimous win you stupid premade bitches. 
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There's simply too much to talk about! Again i single handedly took someone out!! I really liked Mo, it's a shame he came at me in the main chat that was his downfall... dont come for me :D Now i asked why i was voted for and Mr Jackson came at me calling me bitter and personally attacking my which was fun. I could only laugh because i wasnt bitter i think he was just upset that he is an absolute failure and failed to get me out twice in a row :( Also apparently i make the tribe chat 'insufferable' which is soooo unfortunate. :D
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That tribal was ugly. Mo leaving is not a cute concept and Tyler finding an idol on exile was like... wow. However, not my tribe, not my problem. Right now I want to focus on winning the reward again. I want to send myself to exile as a sort of retribution for RTP. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't. I know that with my idol, however, I will get through a tribal. Plus, the puzzle is a mood and I think we'll get a good time on it.
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forgot to mention this but jordan mutinying is so iconic lol. idk why he did it but i love the drama. what i dont love however is tyler idoling out mo. i wanted to work with mo come swap or merge but now i cant. also raf's dislike of tyler enabled him to go to exile twice where he found the idol so thats annoying. also i think theres tension between raf and rtp/ry so idk whats that about. so far i like working with richie, raf, trixie kind of but she seems cracked, and rtp. but idk if thats a group that could actually come together. i wont have to worry about it until we lose a challenge i guess tho!
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Good golly, Miss Molly. Everybody makes choices...and people have CHOSEN. So going into the tribal, I had my heart set on voting Linus. In the case that three million people played idols again, if I threw my vote, I didn't have to play my own, therefore keeping myself in another day. But, I then paid attention to a chat consisting of Tyler, Isaac and Linus. Tyler wanted to vote for Mo and mentally I was thinking "LOL no you bottom bye" because I really didn't want to be taking such a strong side, especially one so brittle as Tyler's. Not to mention Jordan, who I thought would be my automatic lover, has definitely NOT contacted me about much in this game and it made me shifty. However...I got to thinking. I thought to myself, "Kelsey, who are you?" And the answer was "I am Kelsey Valentana Mikaelson, I'm a cutthroat queen who slashes throats and wears ugg boots." And I realized that if I indeed voted for Linus and didn't take a side, I'd be right up there with the people who always vote me out just for being an "easy vote." That's when I said to myself "Ok Kelsey...screw it, you want Tyler in this game, do something about it." I decided then that hey, even if I vote in minority, girl, does anyone REALLY expect anything different out of a controversial gal like me~? So I changed my vote. About...one minute before deadline, but still, I DID IT and I decided to have no regrets. And then....the GAG. First of all, Tyler apparently told no one, not even Jordan, that he had an idol which I don't believe. But then...Mo goes home...! It was really tragic as well, cause I had JUST told Mo he's not going anywhere. But regardless; the vote is revealed that someone voted Linus. I immediately know it's me. However...following Mo's elimination, it opens up a door. Jackson and Tyler are OBVIOUSLY warring sides now. Both of them are boiling hot personalities and it's oil vs water, gurl, it's split the tribe in two. I've told Jackson's side I was the vote for Linus to avoid an idol massacre. And that's true, I did vote Linus and the hosts can confirm. However, I can also tell Tyler's side that I voted for Mo without knowing about the idol, showing I'm willing to take that leap of faith for them. And if they ask the hosts, that is also true. This has given me the opportunity to be a swing vote for BOTH sides and...if I so wanted...I think that really choose who goes next? It's kinda weird to think that I have like...power, cause it NEVER HAPPENS LOL but...I'm just going to plug ALL my effort into this next challenge. The longer I stay in this position without having to make a move, the better. I just really really really REALLY hope it stays this swell forever! And...no one realizes what happened X'D And THAT'S all there is to it~! Vamos, bailar! -Kelsey V Mikaelson
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i wanna die just a lil bit
im mutinying!!!!!! *janelle voice* bye bye bitches!!!
okay so! im back in the game FOLKS. on my old tribe im leaving behind Chelsea and RTP who although I wanted to work with them I was way too inactive... oh well. That Rafael guy was sweet. But on exile I got to seriously bond with Akito. I helped her with the puzzles (even though the reward is already gone since Tyler got it, and all i got to know is that THEY DON'T REPLACE IT). But I get an ally! finally! And she's telling me all this stuff about her tribe and how Tyler and Jordan M are beefing people. blah blah. I didn't really follow or understand what the dynmaics are like there. But I can tell Quillynn and Jackson that Chelsea and I worked well together and maybe work with them. Akito said that they're together. And Kelsey is in the middle? Since I'm mutiny'ing I can use this as a fresh start! Maybe I won't have to use my idol the first tribal I go to. But I probably should lol. The second I get to this new tribe (even if we lose which we probably will) I'm gonna go 100% social.
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hi im dumb i dont know what the challenge is but i will go look and do that! furby out~~~
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I dislike Casanova. I hate that game too much to even try and attempt, but eh. This tribe needs some clipping tbqh.
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do people like know others on the other tribe and feel confident or something. why mutiny off the winning tribe idgi. But go us!! Regan and richie are good at everything i want t align with them!
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We stan Regan!
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my entire tribe needs to realize that Im the most iconic person here and people leave because they hate me like anyone who knows me hates me. I can be annoying. ryan and jordan both left because Im annoying-
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I'm going to get out all the people who decided it would be smart it mutiny.
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I HATE THIS TRIBEEEEEE LIKE CAN WE WIN A GAME FOR ONCE IN OUR LIFE TIME?!?!?! AND CAN TRIBES SPLIT AT 5 v 5 v 5 please?!?!?!?
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I hate that this tribe can't win anything but it's better than being told what to do by regan and trixie. God if I had to deal with them for one more round I was gonna scream into the void and never come out of it.
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Sorry for being such a lame duck in this game hostos
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Hi I'm Jackson and this is my third confessional. Obviously the elephant in the room is my fight with Tyler, he's kind of arrogant and obnoxious so I don't really regret it. I still want him out and even though I told him we're voting Isaac I still think he has to go this time since he couldn't possibly have another (if I go home cause of that tho I'll be glad, fuck idols) But anyway I'm kinda high and I don't have much to say, we lost the challenge because we suck, no I actually don't care about challenge strength, yes I am okay continuing to lose The alliance of me, Kelsey, Quillynn, Linus and Akito will hopefully stand together even though we're back to being a tribe of 9 (Ryan is here wtf he prob doesn't trust me I tried to vote him out a million times in Kvaloya) Ok bye I hate this
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we won again :D but these little binches keep going to exile and mutinying!!!!!!!! i don’t get it….. like okay yeah this tribe is probably terrible or maybe its just me because its like day…..10 and i still haven’t had a single conversation with anyone on this tribe but we haven’t lost a single challenge either reward or immunity yet so like I’m cool with being on this tribe…. what annoys me is that now we’re down in numbers despite winning everything????? RUDE
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so this game has been pretty quiet for me...people keep mutinying from my tribe but we keep winning....ryan and jordan are dumb huh....otherwise no one talks to me at all..im hoping to just be the crummudgeony gramps this season
Voting Confessionals
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Well I'm switching my vote to Tyler but this is gonna be a bad time since im predicting another idol use on tyler.
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I wanted it to be Jackson but since Linus asked I'm voting for him
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I vote for Jackson because I just want to help get him away from the constant suffering of listening to people in the main chat.
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I vote tyler I guess
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Voting for tyler again!
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Okay nvm since idk where linus or kelsey are I'll vote tyler
Tyler voted out 4-2-1-1-1
Quillynn, Jackson, Linus, Akito voted Tyler
Jordan, Isaac voted Linus
Ryan voted Isaac
Tyler voted Jackson
Kelsey voted for herself!
0 notes
gulescamisade · 7 years
Text
MN, Ground:  Day 22, Concert Broadcast
DIRK: -tonight is the night of the concert... but he's been stuck in bed, having run out of mindless tasks to occupy himself with. somebody can probably roll him to the living room later... for now, he turns the pendant around between his fingers over and over while staring up at the ceiling.-
RUFIOH: -large wing swoops by the window. Somebody's taking a flight outside, it looks like.-
KANKRI: -Is he leaving forever?-
DIRK: -stares out the window then. look at him go.-
RUFIOH: -lands in some tree and kicks back. Casually lighting himself some nip... before raising it to acknowledge that he DOES see Dirk.-
DIRK: .... -looks back up at the ceiling for a second, then crawls out of bed to open up the window and peep at rufioh-
DIRK: Hey.
RUFIOH: -takes his time with the hit before breathing out.- sup, man... long t1me, no see.
DIRK: No joke. I was expecting it to be longer.
DIRK: How did you even get here?
RUFIOH: mm.
RUFIOH: 1t's got to do w1th mak1ng we1rd acqua1ntances on avalon... and some portal hopp1ng? that sh1t was pretty scary...
RUFIOH: but next th1ng 1 knew, 1 was on the sh1p. and then breach1ng the atmosphere on one of those... emergency pods...
RUFIOH: flew the rest of the way. fast, h1gh, qu1et to myself so nobody saw me.
RUFIOH: met up w1th the folks 1n earth canada... now 1'm here.
DIRK: -raises brows- Damn. You've had one hell of a journey.
DIRK: It's good to see you again. Just a shame it has to be under these conditions. -leans a little heavily on the window frame-
RUFIOH: yeah... -eyeballs him a lil, flicking the cig.- some scar that's gonna be.
DIRK: -grunts- Pretty cool, huh? -barely even trying to sound like he believes that-
RUFIOH: looks pa1nful. -rises to stand on the branch again.- wanna hang?
DIRK: -pauses for a second. he wasn't really expecting to be asked that.- Uh... -but he wants to lay in bed all day???-
DIRK: Yeah. Sure.
RUFIOH: -gestures for him to follow and then flaps all the way up to the lake house roof. Bird perch.-
ARADIA: -standing in the doorway of the room dirk is in. like a normal person does for long periods of time-
DIRK: -he definitely doesn't have the energy to scale the house right now.... THOUGH HE IS FULLY CAPABLE... anyway, he turns so he can make his way to the stairs that lead to the roof's terrace, only to see aradia.-
DIRK: -JUMPS- Shit-- How long have you been standing there?
ARADIA: a while
DIRK: -makes a face-
DIRK: Well, I'm heading up to the roof to hang out with Rufioh. You wanna join? -starts shuffling around her-
ARADIA: -lets him shuffle around her without moving out of the way before turning to follow him- okay
DIRK: -geez, aradia... well, there he goes, ascending to the floor and looking around for rufioh-
RUFIOH: -just sitting up there, cross-legged and having himself a smoke. It just so happens that it's also been a while since Rufioh saw Aradia around. He eyes her, surprised but also not surprised to see her.- sup meg1do.... been a wh1le.
ARADIA: -follows behind dirk and smiles at rufioh, waving- ill say
ARADIA: its about time you got here :D
RUFIOH: 1 was tak1ng 1t easy, 1 guess... but not too easy. -Join him. Sit with him.- 1 have a wr1ggler.
TAVROS & GAMZEE: =They are a ways from the safehouse people are in, in apparent conversation. Tavros' shoulders are slouched, head turned away from the other troll while they talk. Gamzee stands taller, and is using his hands while he speaks. Sometimes Tavros looks back at him, at the hands, fidgets, and looks away. Gamzee's body language seemingly growing more frustrated, hands waving a bit in the air while struggling on what to say. Then placing a finger to his own temple. It makes Tavros look back at him, and they both stand still. More fidgeting from Tavros, and he rubs the back of his neck. Whatever they are talking about don't seem particularly comfortable for either party.=
RUFIOH: -peeks from the roof... concerned.- }:(
DIRK: -glances over at them as well, brows furrowed, but takes a seat with rufioh for now.- You do?
ARADIA: -she plops down next to rufioh- tell me everything
RUFIOH: oh yeah... he's th1s egg 1 found when a y1pbeast tr1ed gett1ng away w1th 1t for lunch... 1 guess from the hatch1ng caverns on avalon.
RUFIOH: d1dn't know what else to do w1th h1m except... keep h1m unt1l he hatched? 1 d1dn't th1nk he would anyway.
RUFIOH: now he's just k1nd of... eat1ng everyth1ng 1n s1ght, haha.
RUFIOH: h1s name 1s em1let... l1l egg bro. }:)
ARADIA: thats great! where is he now
ARADIA: on the ship?
TAVROS & GAMZEE: =Tavros' mouth is moving, and whatever he is saying is making Gamzee's hands drag down his face. Drags, then a rub, and he shakes his head. He waves his hands around again, and Tavros' shoulders grow tense. The bull troll makes a vauge handgesture to all of Gamzee, then inclines his head to the side before shaking it. A brief laughter, uncomfortable and uncertain. Gamzee lets out a frustrated noise followed by a loud "ain't you a fucking doctor or no?" that sounds both angry and confused. He's turning away and motions to move, but Tavros grabs his shoulder before he can. There's silence again, then Tavros speaking with his head ducked. Gamzee still appears stressed, hands in tight fists, but then easing.=
RUFIOH: yeah, he's... safe. -eyes this conversation with more concern.- }:((
ARADIA: -also watches in front of them. that looks about right- im glad you could join us
DIRK: ...
DIRK: -glances at rufioh- Do you know what's up with all that? -gestures to tavros and gamzee talking-
RUFIOH: -looks off, avoiding his eye. Dragging the cig more.- not sure...
TAVROS & GAMZEE: =They're standing close, Tavros doing most of the talking by the looks of it. No doubt rambling by the way his mouth moves. The hand holding Gamzee's shoulder is gradually tightening until Gamzee has placed his on top of it, gently prying it off. He pats it, and Tavros withdraws his hand. Gamzee watches him while Tavros avoids his eye, looking down and shrugging. The capricorn rubs one eye with his palm as they both continue to stand there in silence, then reaches out to unfittingly give Tavros a playful shove to the shoulder. It makes Tavros take a step back, surprised, but he's looking up again. Gamzee says something, Tavros lets out a faint laugh, but at least it has a twinge of humor to it even if it's half hearted. He says something back, taking a step to return the shove, then the two of them walk further away from the house together.=
MEULIN: -She's watching this herself from inside, tail swishing contemplatively. She should talk to Gamzee later...-
ARADIA: -it's always a relief to be completely sure that they're in the right place, and even little things like this are enough evidence. she watches them walk off, her wings fluttering while she sits- guessing in order to fill in the blanks sometimes feels better than just not knowing
ARADIA: but it can also be completely wrong and steer you away from your original purpose -aradia tf you talking about-
DIRK: -watches them walk away, relieved they seem to have worked out whatever was going on with them, before looking at aradia.- ...
DIRK: I see.
RUFIOH: -side eyes her before frowning.- ...
RUFIOH: 1'd rather not... be left to f1ll the gaps. but that's just me.
ARADIA: i think most people feel that way
DIRK: -goes quiet after that. unfortunately, he's got too many unfilled blanks in his thoughts right now, and his mind can't help but guess. he just wishes it did make him feel better.-
RUFIOH: -passes dirk the blunt. He feels him thinking.-
DIRK: -hey, maybe that will make him feel better.- Thanks.
DIRK: -accepts it and takes a hit, staring off at the landscape.-
ARADIA: theres something about earth that feels worth saving
ARADIA: and i dont know what makes the distinction
DIRK: -stares at her- Was that ever a question?
ARADIA: -shakes her head- ARADIA: i mean that theres something
ARADIA: special about it
ROSE: -She's down in the lower floor, having set up some kind of large whiteboard with some dry-erase markers. Some kind of chart, at a glance, though no one's going to see the details til later, when they come back down.-
RUFIOH: what k1nd of spec1al? 1 mean... -brings his knees up to rest his chin on.-
RUFIOH: 1f you're go1ng out of your way to ment1on 1t... the spec1alness.
RUFIOH: compared to every other place people have tr1ed sav1ng.
ARADIA: thats what im wondering
ARADIA: it seems to have something the other planets dont
ARADIA: given the extent of the conquest
RUFIOH: not sure 1f that makes me feel better... -sighs-
ARADIA: -looks over at rufioh- doesnt have to
ARADIA: i just notice it you know?
RUFIOH: yeah... 1 know.
ARADIA: -softens her expression and just lightly touches his arm, silent.-
RUFIOH: -rumble rumble chirrs. A comforting sound.-
DIRK: -he has some ideas, but he already feels like enough of a downer, so he just glances off, exhaling smoke.-
ARADIA: -chirrs softly in response, only momentarily, hand still on his arm. sadness. pain. it's all inevitable at one point or another. but she will gladly sit with both of them for as long as they feel alone. now, she watches dirk-
DIRK: -the gaze seems to pressure him to speak and he huffs, passing the blunt back to rufioh.-
DIRK: I don't think special is the right word to describe Earth's role in all this.
DIRK: It implies there's some big cosmic scheme, putting this planet at the center of some kind of turning point in this war.
DIRK: But here's what makes it different from Beforus and Europa -- The Condesce already had control of it.
DIRK: Both of those planets were once a part of the Empire, or founded by former Alternians. Which means they seperated from the Condesce's regime, and at no point was she able to dig her claws into their government.
DIRK: She destroyed them to teach them a lesson. That they should've taken her side a long time ago.
DIRK: -sighs- Earth and humankind thought they had the upperhand after the War of Alternian Repression, but I wouldn't be fucking surprised if the empress "disappearing" was all just a ploy for her to give them a false sense of security, lure them into forming T.U.M.U.T. and then using her connections to Skaianet and Crocker Corp. to hallow Earth out from the inside while fucking up as much of the galaxy as possible through stooges like us who actually believed we were repairing the damages she had done.
ARADIA: youve thought this over a lot
ARADIA: youre doubting yourself again
DIRK: Doubting what? Those are just the facts. -seems irritated now...-
ARADIA: through stooges like us who actually believed we were repairing the damages she had done
ARADIA: what you said was full of facts and truth but thats what im talking about
MEULIN: -She's leaning out the window below them, just reading what's on her glasses. She doesn't want to climb up and interrupt... but listening is something she can do. Maybe it's mostly all she ever does. It's hard to have the power to help. Maybe that's what Dirk means, too.-
MEULIN: -She leans on the sill and sighs. She keeps telling herself that it doesn't matter how she feels, that she's here for everyone regardless... but being here isn't enough, either, and maybe it does matter how she feels. It matters enough to get in the way, after all.-
DIRK: I hate to break it to you, but that's as factual as anything else I said.
DIRK: We were used and we've been floundering to get back on our feet since then. Even with all this divine fucking intervention, we're as useless as we ever were. I shouldn't have believed there was any point in fighting.
DIRK: -he immediately regrets the words coming out of his mouth, if only because he doesn't want anyone to know he's thinking these things. he definitely doesn't want anyone to feel that way, too, so he gets up quickly so he can make his way back into the house.-
DIRK: ... Forget I said that.
ARADIA: -she's still trying to do her job, trying to keep them on track, but something in what he says stirs something that makes her eyes water even though she doesn't look sad in the slightest-
RUFIOH: -looks between Dirk and Aradia... not saying anything. He's not especially good at these things in the moment. Hell. He's notorious for making bad decisions on the subject if left to his own devices.-
RUFIOH: -but he does hold Aradia's hand. Just wordless about it.-
---
DIRK: -there he goes, DESCENDING THE STAIRS. he's upset, but instead of retreating back to his room, he paces through the house until he happens upon rose's white board.-
ROSE: -She seems to be sorting out members of the crew based on injury and ability...-
ROSE: -maybe not necessarily the BEST source of inspiration for a cause here-
ARADIA: -it's confusing sometimes, when she thinks she's entirely positive and certain of the route they take only to be reminded of all of the bad routes, the wrong ones. it's hard to remember. it's hard to cycle between feeling numb to it and not numb at all. she's not sure what part is making her feel to this extent, but her fingers intertwine with rufioh's and she tries to ground herself by focusing on the physical connection.-
RUFIOH: -He breathes out. Not knowing what's on her mind exactly... but hoping that even for a minute, reality will make sense if he just holds her hand. As they sit quietly, a breeze comes to ruffle their hair. It's nice.-
DIRK: -just kinda hovers there, reading over everything she has written down. he's awfully overwhelmed, but hey, he's here so he should get involved in the planning probably.-
SOLLUX: -He's inside, in a room on his own. Right now, it's where he wants to be. He doesn't think he can handle the thoughts and feelings of anyone else right now.-
JOEY: =she's downstairs with a mug of coffee in hand and slouching lazily in a chair near the whiteboard as she reads it over, ankles crossed.=
ROSE: -She glances at Dirk as he arrives.-
ROSE: Hello.
ROSE: I didn't want to sit around too long.
ROSE: I'm growing restless.
ROSE: I think this might be useful.
ROSE: At least. I know not everyone is in a strong enough condition to fight, when it comes down to it.
[[Out of nowhere, a wrapped sandwich hurtles from the minifridge and slaps Sollux on the side of his head. A water bottle also falls from the counter, rolling across the floor until it came to a stop at his foot.]]
ROSE: -She pays the sandwich NO MIND.- ROSE: Most of the crew presently stranded in Alaska-- though I believe they're on the move-- we are going to want to keep away from the action.
ROSE: We lost two up there. They've faced the harshest conditions out of anyone.
ARADIA: -it would be pretty difficult for anyone to guess what's on her mind--it's so complex and vast and endless--but rufioh's right in thinking that any sort of physical sensation is making everything feel that much more real. the breeze does. the sound of his breath. the way her palm feels pressed up against his. tension she didn't know was there in the first place starts to ease-
DIRK: -nods slowly- Right.
ROSE: -TAPS HER WAND AGAINST THE BOARD.-
ROSE: We can probably look them over individually when they arrive, and I'm certain Dave is going to want to be involved, but we are going to have to hedge our bets.
RUFIOH: -It's as easy as breathing out. When he catches her eye again, he manages a lopsided smile.-
RUFIOH: -ruffles her hair with his hand now.- heh.
ROSE: -She takes a deep breath..-
ROSE: My implants burned out and I'm not going to be able to do much of anything with my abilities in a fight. Everyone else here in our group is in decent enough health, though.
ROSE: Physically speaking.
ARADIA: -she gently laughs and uses her free hand to wipe away the tears on her cheeks- sorry ARADIA: not sure what happened there
RUFIOH: someth1ng crazy... but uh...
RUFIOH: 1mportant, 1 th1nk. 1t's 1mportant to talk about th1s sh1t... even 1f 1t's bad.
RUFIOH: to try... and a1r 1t out so 1t doesn't st1nk up your th1nkpan.
DIRK: -rolls his shoulders and finds a chair to pull over, taking a seat next to joey.- In case I forgot to mention, we're kinda holding an officer of the Alternian army hostage here.
DIRK: Her name is Lucana. She might be able to help us with infiltration or... something.
ROSE: Good to know.
ROSE: For what it's worth, of course. She's probably not anyone important—
ROSE: -pauses to glance at him.-
ROSE: At least, no one they'd hesitate killing alongside the rest of us if given the opportunity.
ROSE: -She sighs again, going back to the board.-
ROSE: Our two other assumptions are that we're going to have to work a goal within a timeframe.
ROSE: Freeing Jane and Jade. Orchestrating a prison break. If there's time, destroying the entire facility, but that's in the ideal scenario where we're all able-bodied and unobstructed by an army of drones and soldiers.
ARADIA: you think so? ARADIA: even when people wont understand?
ROSE: -She's starting to pace now, a little bit.-
ROSE: They don't know you have her, so... maybe you can use her clearance to get inside and find information.
ROSE: And the rest of us can... fuck, I don't know. Hold out. Until Hal can get the ship back to us, or... something.
DIRK: Sounds solid to me. -its ok, rose, his leg is bouncing and he's wondering why he bothered to sit down.-
JOEY: =Wordlessly turns her cup around and offers it to Dirk.=
ROSE: -nods a little bit...-
ROSE: I, um.
ROSE: Feel like I may be obligated to tell you that Jane offered...
ROSE: ...
ROSE: For me to join her. ROSE: It may be exploitable, tactically. ROSE: At least for the sake of isolating her from the facility.
DIRK: -takes the cup, perfectly timed to sip it at rose with raised brows-
DIRK: She contacted you specifically with an offer to join her?
ROSE: Yes.
JOEY: you didn't decline outright, did you? =tilts her head towards dirk= he's right, we could use something like this, but how do we know that they won't do the same funky headspace thing that happened to jane and jade. =she waved a hand around her head=
JOEY: jane wasnt ever like that in the time that i knew her. they did something to her that made her do all those things, i know it.
ROSE: Yes, I...
ROSE: Suppose.
ROSE: And the answer being, we don't really know that.
ROSE: It's a calculated risk. If they could have done it to more than just her and Jade, then why wouldn't they have?
JOEY: well not everyone is an heiress or has zappy powers
ROSE: Of course not. But there's got to be more to it than that. ROSE: They captured Jake and Roxy, but the two seem to be under their own power. If they're going to use them, why not use them?
ROSE: Unless they can't.
JUDE: -creeps up on this conversation- I can't say for certain about jade
JUDE: but jane? she's always carrying around crocker corp tech... I kept TELLING her to throw it away but of course she didn't
JUDE: -points to his head- the tiara top, specifically... I'm sure it's a mind control device that they could hack into directly and control her
JUDE: who's to say they haven't done that with their prisoners by this point? I'm not sure why they captured them but maybe they're using them for something we just don't know about... something they're doing privately at the facility while jade and jane do the dirty work...
ROSE: Well.
ROSE: I wouldn't doubt that.
ROSE: Even if it's somewhat of a stretch to think that everyone is entirely enthralled.
DIRK: -grunts- She's probably usin' them for their abilities. Roxy can make shit outta nothingness. Jake can pretty much manipulate anything so long as he believes it's true.
DIRK: I figure she just doesn't need the rest of us. That's what makes Jane's proposal so strange to me.
DIRK: It might suggest she still has her own agency despite the mind control, if she wants to recruit folks from our crew. It must not have been in the empress' plan.
SOLLUX: -belated but WTF SANDWICH AND WATER OUTTA NOWHERE.-
SOLLUX: -his head jerks up almost immediately as it plaps him- g0d damn it t—
SOLLUX: ...
ROSE: ...
ROSE: Well, uh.
ROSE: Yes.
ROSE: I think that was definitely a part of it.
JOEY: =just...absorbs all of this before mumbling to herself= (how did my original timeline turn into one with teenage mutant ninja turtles?)
DIRK: - ... 👁️ 👁️-
ROSE: -stop....-
DIRK: -SIPS MORE- Cool.
DIRK: So we get Rose to seduce Jane.
MEULIN: -peeks in at this- OH???
MEULIN: 👁️ 👁️
ROSE: -NO-
ROSE: That.
ROSE: Really won't be necessary.
ROSE: I'm just going to take her up on her offer.
ROSE: And she'll know that something is up, because of a familiarity with me.
ROSE: ...
ROSE: And on account of that, I already know that she knows.
ROSE: Which gives me an advantage.
JOEY: =snickers=
ROSE: And. Is not seduction.
RUFIOH: -also peeking from a window to gaze.- 👁️ 👁️
JOEY: if you decide to go undercover, you might have to do things undercover
JOEY: you know
JOEY: to prove youre one of them
JOEY: =takes her coffee from dirk to sip it before handing it back to him=
ROSE: I think this was the exact reason I didn't want to share this potentially significant information in the first place.
ROSE: No.
DIRK: -😏-
JOEY: no ones gonna judge you, if you were worried
MEULIN: -while they keep talking, she's sniffing around the room... and then lifts open the window if it's not already open-
JOEY: ;)
ROSE: Oh mygod.
MEULIN: -HUP. She jumps out of the window. She's gone.-
ROSE: -looks out the window-
ROSE: -...why.......-
RUFIOH: -Meu why.-
MEULIN: -DONT WORRY. She's just heading for the lake!!-
JOEY: =she looked up from her device and crossed the room, turning on the TV. Glancing down at her phone once more, she flipped to the channel shown. It appears to be a concert.=
DIRK: -YES IT'S TIME-
DIRK: -he was waiting for this-
TYRENA: -She's been scarce for most of the time they've been here... except now, with the TV on. She's still laying flat on the ground but she's listening closely.-
DIRK: -WATCHING TAKODA LIFTED HIS SPIRITS A LITTLE... that and teasing rose earlier. but hey.-
JOLENE: -SQUINTS AT THIS CLOWN ON THE TV-
SUMMONER: =He's out and about somewhere, doing god's knows what, but he has a feeling his kismesis is doing something that makes him feel human homosexual down in his soul. Clenches fist mid flight.=
JOEY: =holy shit who is that cute little carapacian?=
DIRK: - 👀 -
DIRK: -it's snans undertale-
DIRK: ...
DIRK: Holy shit.
DIRK: -BAFFLED BY THE MAYOR'S VOICE???-
JOEY: =Actually jumps in her seat when the VOICE happens.=
DIRK: -smiles softly at qirin with her drum... gosh-
SOLLUX: -just listening to this in the bg-
TYRENA: -still on the floor like a mummy, but she appreciates this. quietly.-
JUDE: -lurks when he hears penny's voice on the tv... wowee, there she is. he's a little starry eyed.-
DIRK: -watching this is getting him so hype??? it's nice to have something positive between the anxiety and the numbness whoo boy-
DIRK: -dammit... his parents are cute...-
DIRK: -somewhere out there, he knows dave is crying. haha wimp.-
DIRK: -wait fuck he's crying too-
JOEY: =sliiiiiiiiides over a tissue box=
DIRK: -ffffffff.... takes the whole tissue box. but he's trying to hold it in. ffs.-
DIRK: -he's getting chills... yes, this is exactly what he needed to lift his spirits. but it's getting late... he should probably rest if he wants to be useful at all... but he's so hype.-
EQUIUS: -There's the sound of gentle, but heavy, steps-
EQUIUS: D --> I heard a ruckus. Is everything okay -His veins are deep blue, clearly from the poison, however, he is looking better.-
JOEY: you're looking lively
JOEY: your crewmates have blatantly challenged aych eye see
JOEY: it was glorious
EQUIUS: D --> Dirk, who the heck is this tiny human
JOEY: excuse me, i'm above average height for human women
JOEY: you're just abnormally tall
DIRK: -looks back at equius- This is Joey Claire.
JOEY: :)
EQUIUS: D --> One of the human refugees we were transported for
DIRK: -nods- That's right.
EQUIUS: D --> Okay. I surmise we are in Minnesota now, I seem to remember hearing that
JOEY: yup! it's a state.
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