#im stuck with the same problems ive always had

[firesnap]

i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.

ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?

its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?

im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.

This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.

I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.

This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.

My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.

With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.

Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.

(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)

But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.

#the current state of things

[dilfhos]

sooo this is gonna be a messy rant on the observations ive made between different writer communities, blog interactions and overall “status”. just silly little things I’ve noticed in my 4+ years being on tumblr btwn 2 diff blogs. and this is about no one specific, a very generalized post so if you find urself offended i honestly dont know what to tell you?? :o do better ig. & if you relate, i feel for you. TLDR @/end.

i dont like interacting/ building connections with people but not for the reasons ppl think. im not stuck up or pretentious or weird or anything. just another anime-enjoyer who loves to write in her free time. nobody special by a longshot!! i enjoy writing, always have since before i was a teen. (wasn’t always ff tho!).

but over the years ive just noticed fandom writing has its gritty sides that no one talks about often and its no mystery why so many prolific/ popular writers deactivated, me included. i had some shitty experiences and have seen friends go bc of it.

firstly, I’ve noticed, once you start interacting and building friendships with people, it’s easier to see the bigger perspective of where ppl stand and the blatant hierarchy of friendships and groups. same applies to that outside. like its literally just me n’ my bsf then my acquaintances bc mfs be weirddd omg its like cults or something. like thats why initially I didn’t interact w/anyone starting on my new blog. that n’ fear of drama following from my last blog ugh. ‘Cept the few i’ve met on my old blog (like my wifey)

not to mention i have bad anxiety. and sometimes im cue-deaf. i dont always pick up what people put down and vice versa and it makes me conscious in a lot of my interactions. so a part of me doesn’t want to interact at all to avoid all awkwardness and possible miscommunications. that’s not to say i don’t notice subtle changes in interactions after one situation / conversation or so forth, that in myself or witnessed between other ppl. (im perceptive, just not that good conversationalist lol. like i really have to try.)

but then…if you don’t interact with people on here, your chances of building an audience or a reader base is slim to none. the likelihood of developing relationships is zip. because you’re already perceived and pegged as just another tumblr writer. pause. to clarify, a writer who doesn’t want any recognition or interactions from mutuals or new friends. or just a lonely writer? a introverted, lonely writer. which leads to little to none interactions (anons, reblogs, moots —exposure.)

so then its like you’re kinda placed btwn a rock n a hard place. and there’s absolutely no problem with that! in fact this is the best part—meeting friends and like-minded people! people that make being online all the more worth it right? thirsting over fictional characters and sharing in each other’s works!

but you have to be in specific circles it seems. but then you can’t imply that you want to be in those circles bc then you’re desperate.

but well, then you cant purposefully want to be independent or be on your own or else you’re a hater, hypocrite or stuck up. not to mention, no one will reblog your stuff lol. no one will interact fr, and you’re friendless essentially. and god forbid if you disagree on something as if opinions don’t exist btw! then you’re being ganged up on. (like omg grow up!)

but then if you reach out you’re seen as trying to wedge in or kiss ass? you interact and follow and you’re ignored or left hanging? (bc im gonna touch your hand when i say this—it never gave fan, your majesty of horny nerds) and this is about ALL the writing communities and fandoms—spicy content, black content and dark content. ALL.

yet no one wants to talk about the pregnant elephant in the room—bias. and favoritism. also people seem to have a hard time being direct with how they’re feeling toward/about someone ( in a good or bad way) which in turn leads to a lot of miscommunication and subliminal attacks. (not to mention hate anons? one of my moots just had her inbox flooded w/them recently, ew.)

you can lead a horse to water AND you can write a 500-word essay on the observations made on tumblr writers as a whole. (a long ass post on the truth on behalf of those feeling this too)

also, slapping a HEY LOOK AT ME! IM A WRITER WHO WANTS INTERACTION AND FRIENDS! on a blog is frankly embarrassing. it shouldn’t even take all that seeing how easy it is for others wanting the same thing.

or doing less to achieve the same result.

not to mention, yall shit on ppl who essentially feel this way altogether bc you peg them as sb who doesn’t “try” or just jealous when their own works are phenomenally written themselves. ive seen it. and ive lived it. never gave jealousy baby.

at the end of the day, we’re all writers— either longterm or hobbyists. (personally, im longterm) self-indulgent or not! and its absolutely amazing when people are being fair in how they spread love and feedback to their writers.

Secondly, its not news that people have to want to reblog your fics so that their followers can reblog, so they can reblog, and their followers can reblog and so forth. but ppl honestly dont care atp bc once they’ve already read it, they owe you nothing. and apparently asking for reblogs is crass and bold. (imma do it anyway) but putting your very all into a story just to turn and see a half-thought out hc soaring 3k in 2hrs and 5k in a day — you have to stfu, open your ass and take it. keep it cute!

you’re getting fucked after all!!

because if you complain—you’re just jealous and lazy and uncreative!! and i hate that to seem like a writer worth a damn, you have to change up your writing style every two weeks to fit in with trending waves.

“no more poetic long fics, nobody’s into that! short, snappy slutty shots are all the rage!” “ppl are only into these specific tropes but you can’t exceed 2k words!” “only add trending characters to these hcs! ppl love them only!” “don’t write too much about a specific character or else ill unfollow you!” its exhausting.

i am well within my right as a literary artist to desire more feedback and interaction on anything i put out. period. and you are too! 🫵

God, im tired of that stupid, ‘you have to enjoy your writing for yourself and not worry about notes’ line. i do love my writing! don’t get me wrong there’s nobody id rather write like if not myself fr. not to mention the inspiration i draw from famous literary authors. however, i would love feedback and the same energy that i see with others in my same caliber.

and when i see others that didn’t even try fr—its a slap in the face to put it bluntly.

i can want silly little comments and notes about something i cherish and put out for that reason and yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about it. sorry! like yall really be making people feel shitty for wanting the same type of interactions you get! especially when its harmless, bye asf. nb want to recipe to ur peach cobbler b!

the only one giving push back are those appointed popular /top blogs n’ cliques tho. now personally, i honestly dgaf if you have 20 followers or 25k, writing is writing and if its good you should want to support it regardless of following count/interaction right?

unfortunately, and quite unsurprisingly its not the case for the rest of this hellhole lol. there’s always gonna be some “big blog” in any part of tumblr or any social media for that matter.

but when the sole purpose being on a site like tumblr to write is mainly exposure, then it just makes it ten times worse especially if it seems that these blogs are steady at the top of every. single. tag. and listen, i know how initially stupid that sounds but when you’ve picked up on patterns for as long as i have, well iykyk.

so imma be real bc no one else will, half of the posts that yall see with 25k notes have alr been done. just different characters, different words, different dialogue. And 8/10 its been done by sb who only received 100 notes. Thats the evil part. whats more is that it lacks the creativity the one post with 100-300 notes is filled with completely.

POP QUIZ! what post would readers be more inclined to read? — one that says 10k (ohhh that must be popular!) or the one with only 150 (oh i guess nb really liked that one) that no one is even willing to reblog for MORE. and BOOM. now yall wonder why so many great writers LEAVE, its a fucking joke.

so unfortunately its no longer only about or only on readers anymore. its about who you know and who you know is willing to support your fr. who is willing to REBLOG your fics for their friends and followers, so that their friends and followers can reblog. to fit in you actually have to get in these days and it makes it all less enjoyable. makes it a chore and if you aren’t ‘doing it right’ ultimately it makes you feel shitty about your writing. (Please don’t, you are doing amazing. its the platform.)

it makes people not want to jump into writing. it pushes away those who actually want to join writing communities and meet people without feeling like they have to jump thru hoops to thrive or worse—live in other ppls shadows. and then it deters those from speaking up in fear of being shut down by bigger groups. ive seen it happen time and time again.

lastly, and this is the juiciest part! you absolutely cannot say anything about any of this bc you’re complaining and a fisher just looking for attention and not someone who just want things to be fair all over. play the game, right? ( wrong. and if this is your logic, you suck! )

its no longer about making flashy banners and pretty themes. its no longer about how many clever directory links you add or how many games you initiate on your blog or whether or not you’ve reblogged your fic three times already. its about your “friends”, other mutuals, and blogs willing to support you too. not just the audience. audience gonna do what they want regardless. reblog, don’t reblog, whatever. “at least ive read it right?” but everyone knows this. duh! but it’s obvious who doesn’t care as long as they’re on top of that tag! its admirable in a way but it sucks for those wanting to break out and build some kind of readerbase and/or make friends.

TLDR; people need to stop being bias and be fair and open lol. stop picking favorites and share the love all around. you see another person writing your favorite character or trope, give them a fucking chance and reblog, regardless if they’re in your ‘circle’ / radar or not. regardless if you know them or not. hell, let them put you on to a new fandom. bc writing is writing and making new moots and finding new fics seem to be what everyone loves to showcase until its time to actually do it. no wonder people get discouraged to make friends and write, yall treat it like some kind of secret society when its supposed to be fun💀 not a competition. (yall need to dead this clique-y shit. )

#writers #writers of tumblr #WATCH EVERYONE SKIP OVER THIS DHDHDJDN #OH OH OH #and im black #LMAO THATS THE PUNCHLINE #so #all of this isnt only happening in a general writing fandom #but the little corner for my black people?? #and in the corners of other minorities #IT HAPPENS HERE TOO DHGSGJG #nb is safe🙅🏾‍♀️ #i thought we were escaping exclusivity? #and assumptions made about other people?? #trust when i say this is NOT about anyone specific #just silly little observations #and pieces of my experiences #so any complaints #SHOVE IT SHOVE IT SHOVE IT! #will delete if this starts a revolt #or not bc i love chaos in the name of truth #i hope yall can feel the sarcasm this is kinda longer than i intended but i wanted to be as thorough as possible in my point #been working on this for a min #im not tagging as discourse bc this isn’t what this is #and if you treat is as such imma just assume you’re exactly who im talking about and keep it pushing🤷🏾‍♀️ #just be better is all im saying #BYE I JUST CAUGHT SO MANY MISTAKES #the shame #i was caught up #but yall get it

[dansevilpianotea]

who do you think is more Crowley coded and who is more Azira coded out of dnp?

i set myself hourly notifications ever since you send the ask and it still took me this long to answer, im so sorry 😭

to answer your question:

It might seem like obvious that dan is crowley coded and phil is azira coded because of their aesthetics and personality but stating that as that is too simple for me. lets break it down:

dan is like crowley in the obvious sense of having that edgy aesthetic and always needing to question things while phil is the one with the light aesthetic who enjoys what is happening despite the problems it has. just watch them play the game of life.

this reminds me of this quote from a book ive read for uni which really stuck with me:

so yea, dan is the social scientist who points out what most people miss and phil is the one who tells us that we shouldn't wallow in defeat of it but make our own meaning out of it. and we need both! they are like ying and yang, like crowley and aziraphale in that way.

crowley who questions heaven and thusly falls, but then doesnt stop questioning hell because he doesnt see the world in black and white, good actions and bad actions.

i think dan for a long time was not like that. i say this with the utmost respect but if you look back, his branding was usually self deprecating jokes and at least to me personally it felt like his perspective was pessimistic. he always made sure to leave a positive message but to me it felt like a wish for a better future, not a feeling of certainty that it will be better.

Phil on the other hand is very much like that:

Phil is like aziraphale and me in the sense that he gets irrationally worried about things,

but it is dan who literally did a tour about his worries of the world ending, with branding and all:

and yet:

phil and crowley both have that rational optimism, the sense that things will be okay. but aziraphale does not give up in-spite of the odds being against them. in s1 he refuses to run away to alpha centauri because he believes that they should stay and fight. that there is still hope. he does not accept that the world will end. but its crowley who sparks the idea of aziraphale raising the antichrist with him. its aziraphale who tells angel crowley of armageddon , and its why crowley gets upset and questions the almighty.

so my point is that phil has aziraphale's light aesthetic vibes and his fear of near doom but crowley's certainty that everything will be okay in the end despite it.

dan on the other hand has crowley's edgy dark aesthetic, his cynicism and sense of questioning belief systems, but also aziraphale's determinism to fight what he is sure is a losing battle/the end of the world because he wants to believe that it is possible that everything will be okay (that being the message of wad/ywgttn/big/etc...)

i want to talk a bit about 'dark/light polarity'. what we mean by that is two sides of the same coin. yin and yang:

☯️

they depend on each other, they interconnect and intertwine. be it real people or fictional characters, it is never a clear black and white binary, because what the characters have something that the other lacks and when they come together they become a whole. plato said humans once had 4 legs and feet, and then got split in half by zeus to punish us to live our lives yearning to be connected with the other half of our soul/coin, our soulmate. they carry sth of each other within them because there are shards that got broken in the middle when the being was split and were forced to choose sides.

so even tho it might seem like dan is more like crowley coded and phil is more aziraphale coded because of their light/dark aesthetic, there's many things of both in each of them and thats what makes it interesting and real to us.

#sorry if this is an unsatisfying answer but thats what you get when you send an ask to a philosopher /lg #*​/lh #dan and phil #daniel howell #dnp #amazingphil #wad #good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ask

[br1ghtestlight]

getting war flashbacks to the bobs burgers fanfic where louise is doing math homework in the restaurant when nobody else is around and then bob has a heart attack </3 that shit was TRAUMATIZING

love linda shouting four whenever there's a math problem or anything related to numbers. best recurring joke. FOUR!!!!

you can do it gene :D also im so bad at math I 100% would not be able to help either. dumbass rep family

bob trying to help gene with his homework is cute. even if he is Not very good at it. he wants to be an involved dad :(

gene im not gonna lie that math question has gotta be fucking with you. rhat is not a real question. i could NEVER do that not if i was given 100 hours that shit is fake

see this is where when I was in math class i would just write a random number and move on bcuz im never gonna figure it out anyway im not gonna waste time. so that's my advice gene. just Give Up

he says "maybe your mom or tina could get you started" because they're older but I genuinely think louise has a better chance of helping bcuz she is so smart. if she'd WANT to help is another question entirely

because I'm stuck in a safe 😐

AND THEN HE BLINDFOLDED ME ON THE WAY HERE??? HE BLINDFOLDED YOU??????

teddy I think his guy is gonna murder you im gonna be so real right now

unfortunately im kinda following teddy's logic now like. it isnt like fischoeder isn't doing this type of shit everyday just for fun. rich guys are just like that BUT getting their money is nice

"gene was doing homework?? that's new"

WE'RE NOT ALL ECONOMICALLY COMFORTABLE LIKE YOU ARE

"Why did you tell me the whole long story about the sandwich in the drawer if you're running out of battery LOCKED IN A SAFE??" "Context!!!!"

also bob and teddy have such great comedic chemistry lmao they bounce off each other so naturally

louise isn't lying she Does have a certain set of skills 😭 if anyone could find him it WOULD be her the lockpicking genius nine year old supervillain

miss you. see you soon. gotta go!!

has he gotten a new cellphone since that MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND YOUR PHONE IS AT 23% argument or is it that same shitty 2008 blackberry phone that dies almost immediately lmfao

bob is a real one for doing this bullshit for teddy he did NOT have to. they're ride or die fr

I'm not entirely unconvinced that gerald isnt a serial killer but thats okay <3 men can have hobbies

also I'm choosing to believe this gerald is the same one from the taxes/weed cookie episode even though it ABSOLUTELY is not bcuz i think that would be funny. by day he's a regular tax agent by night he is a creepy rich kidnapper who pulls mind games on all his handymen

OH I FORGOT THE SUBPLOT FOR THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT SPORTS PEOPLE why did they do the whole thing with gene's homework then.... are they connected. what is the gameplan

WE PICK A NEW LOVER FOR MOM

i love how bob is apparently the only thing keeping his family from going completely off the fucking rails like. he's the only thing standing between his family and their restaurant burning down with everyone inside fr

your dad never loved that dream :/ because he's a hater :/ AND SO JEALOUS :/

you're not gonna break the world record. another hater. STOP THAT

I might be having a panic attack 💔 I CANT TELL BECAUSE IVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE OR IM ALWAYS HAVING ONE soo real teddy

WE LOST HIM 😭😭💔

aww I love them all wearing their lil aprons <3 (crappy photo of my tablet bcuz the app im using to watch this episode doesn't allow screenshots)

SAY SOMETHING SMART LIKE UHH HOW WOULD YOU FLIP A GIANT BURGER. OH GOD THEY DIDNT MAKE THE GIANT BURGER DID THEY. WHO WOULD EVEN AGREE TO EAT THAT. AN OVER FOURTY CO-ED BASKETBALL TEAM. REALLY 😯

sorry this episode has so many good ooc quotes FJDMDJSKSKKM

gene STOP calling him father

bob is being like a whole ass detective meanwhile linda and the kids are currently making The Worst Decisions Ever

h jon benjiman is doing such a good job voicing bob in this episode idk it has so much personality and sounds natural. or it's always like this and im just now appreciating it but either way A+ work

cute bob and teddy moment ❤️❤️

(ignore the awful camera quality. nothing I can do there) also love the fact that teddy can easily lift up and manhandle bob. Good to know

there's so much going on w/ this gerald guy I dont even know WHERE to begin. what a guy. wow

this is so cute and sweet im so happy!!! YOU DOUBLE FAKE WALLED HIM :D YOU SMART SMARTIE. YOURE A GENIUS BOB

"I knew I asked the right person to come help me. Yeah. Mort wouldn't answer."

"What? You called Mort first?"

"No..."

HE ASKED MORT???? LMFAO big win for tedmort shippers. I fucking guess

MORT NEVER DOUBLE FAKE WALLED ANYONE why is bob like genuinely jealous of mort and teddy right now 😭 chill out man you've got a wife at home

"let's just say it's twelve" FINALLY bob follows my very smart advice when it comes to math homework smh

ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THEM EATING BOBS BURGERS FOR DINNER OR IN GENERAL!!! I mean it's a giant hamburger loaf but it technically was served at bob's burgers so it counts

GIANT FRENCH FRIES

aww this episode was so fun and cute!! I love the more adventure-y type episodes where they explore a new location so this episode was great and very stressful lmao. also very funny. I love bob and teddy's dynamic/back and forth throughout the episode and the weird mort mention at the end felt like they were soft launching his and teddy's relationship even though I KNOW they aren't actually. mort could replace kathleen if we believe. very solid 8/10 episode :)

#txt #bob's burgers #episode review #bb spoilers

[no-shxme]

since ive had people asking about it, here's

an overview of my writing process:

its very long (but split into 4 sections) so i will be posting it below the read-more. i fr threw up all over the post and it covers my writing process specifically. because i write unreliable narration >> canonic characters, etc this will prolly not be as useful for like, idk, crack fic writers or whatever else. basically this is what works for me. it might not work for you, but feel free to peruse, im sure no 2 writer's processes are exactly the same. (AND THATS COOL)

Step 1: The Idea & Start

usually my fic starts with a single scene/mood/line, and the whole fic is started around that. (for ex: my fic Teeth started bc of 1 set of lines that we haven't even gotten to yet. [sob]) this also helps me be more motivated, as i become pretty desperate to get that scene/mood/etc written. (as i write i often find new goalposts to write to, which helps keep me motivated, yeah)

occasionally i will write out an initial drabble (like 1 or 2 paragraphs) set in the story idea i have, just to see if i like whatever's going on before i commit.

before i start i decide my setting or at least whatever parts of the setting are relevant. (i wont go into it here bc that's not exactly process.) then i'm game to start.

i've heard a lot of writers struggle with starting a fic and ending it. starting a fic isn't usually a problem for me but if i don't like how the beginning is looking it's usually because i've started it too far away from relevant plot. i don't want to write too much beginning set up, so my solution is always to delete what i have and restart the scene closer to when something happens.

(for ex: when writing everything that went wrong over the summer, the story started earlier and was going to have kayn discover rhaast at the end of the first chapter. but halfway through i decided it was bad. i didnt want to reveal too much and it was kinda boring, became a slog of wordlbuilding. i hated it so i deleted it and instead we meet rhaast in literally the second paragraph.)

imo if you are having trouble with starting stories, literally just throw yourself into the action, its the best way to jog a stuck start. move up the timeline, make things move faster. ask yourself if you really need all the space before the action happens. this method also be used on other scenes, not just beginnings.

it's generally a good idea to figure out what the minimum amount of time you need to complete your story. (this plot that takes place over three weeks, can it be done in three days instead?) but i dont always do that for fanfiction, more my personal writing. fanfiction can be loose and slimy, thats okay. i'm not gonna stress myself over it like i do with my book lol. for me fanfiction is like a vacation. since the characters are already established i can be free to experiment stylistically and try new things.

Step 2: The Writing (The Slog)

(The longest section of this post)

I actually have SO many notes for my writing process so this will be all over the place.

Whenever I write ANYTHING my goals are the following:

keep things concise, without crazy exposition or information overloads.

to me writing is kinda like a puzzle, or a combination lock. i have a line or thought and i just continuously swap words around in my head or on a doc until something clicks. my goal is not just something that fits, it's something that fits BEST. (i am not always successful at this.) so yeah sometimes a line sounds good, but how do i make it sound BETTER. i am always thinking about lines. all the time. i am always turning a scene in my head trying to find the best angle. im literally doing it right now.

this is a stylistic choice that might not apply to everyone, but i love writing unreliable narrators and therefore always write them. in fanfiction i like trying to keep the characters close to their canon personalities, so a lot of the following advice is through that lens.

WHEN IT COMES TO PLOT:

by the time i write my first scene i usually have an idea of the ending. i'm not too terribly focused on it but i definitely prefer to know it. its just something i have to reach eventually. usually little plot ideas will start sprouting up like checkpoints between the start and the end, and then it's just the matter of figuring out how to bridge the gaps between them. one of my favorite tricks i like to use for longer or difficult plots is work backwards. (i call it Keyframing)

(for ex: let's say i'm writing a story about a knight who marries a dragon, but i can't figure out how the hell that's gonna happen. an easy way to come up with ideas is think: what's 1 thing that has to happen between the start goal (there's a knight) and the ending (married to a dragon)? it could be something simple. the knight has to get to the dragon's lair before he can get married. okay, great, there's another plot checkpoint. now what's 1 thing that has to happen between the start and getting to the lair? and also what's 1 thing that has to happen between getting to the lair and getting married?

as you keep adding 1 thing to the plot between points, it basically writes itself, or gives you a very good list of things that HAVE to happen in order to progress the story. then you can add embellishments and tweak it, but its a good method i use for avoiding over-complicated plot. periodically i also ask myself: can this be simplified further?

in cases where i don't have an ending in mind (about 35% of the time) i let my characters drive the plot. this is very easy because i write unreliable, character focused narration. all i think is: ok what're they gonna do. how would they do xyz. hows this affect them. i'll also think about my end goal for the character as it slowly develops and ask myself if it's realistic for them. i don't write crack so if it's something a character won't do then i just won't write it. i'll figure out some other goal or method to achieve the same effect, even if the scrapped idea is cute. :C the end result is usually a more convincing character. (once again this is literally just how i write ff. you DONT have to write like this) in many cases the goal is fine but the method isn't, so i have to rethink how the character realistically reaches that goal. (this was very much the case in my fic, One Promise)

WHEN IT COMES TO WRITER'S BLOCK:

here's my methods for getting over writer's block in no particular order:

taking a break. (or a nap)

reading poetry (this helps bc i try to write poetic) or just read, if im in a pickle.

changing location. (if you write on your phone/laptop. just go somewhere else)

delete the scene and restart from a diff angle. (not advised tbh. i dont think this is a good method, even if it works for me. im only listing it bc its something i do.)

to a lesser degree: changing the font, listening to music i would never listen to normally. or not listening to music at all.

walking around in circles talking to myself about whatever line im chewing on. :/

Okay now im just gonna list a mixed bag of shit that pertains to my literal writing process:

i use google docs because i like to write on my phone and my tablet. i will write in bed before sleeping or in the car. ill write wherever. occasionally i will also use scrivener on my pc for writing assistance. or ms paint. (dont make me go into it)

i almost always try to write what the CHARACTER sees or experiences, versus what a narrator would see. (for example, in my fic Teeth, sett's ears are mentioned a lot. it's because talon keeps noticing them.) this is super important in my writing as it also serves meaning and makes things more concise. oh a character is an artist? so they might notice the technique in a painting. versus the same painting viewed by a carpenter, who might focus more on describing the picture frame. i have specific thoughts on (confident) character voice/unreliable narration, but this post is long lol. if anyone wants to hear it lemme know.

for the most part i only try to describe what's necessary. im not trying to introduce too many characters BY NAME or too many places or too much detailed description-dumping, unless im trying to hide something. ESPECIALLY IN FAN FICTION. one thing i keep in mind is that the reader will fill in the gap. like i could write 'a kitchen with green walls and one window' and boom you already have an idea of what the kitchen could look like. i could write a character using a stove and different readers might imagine that stove in two different places, as pertaining to their imaginary kitchen. that's fine. as long as the location of the stove is unimportant then i dont need to describe it. basically if it's not Vital to my vision then i often don't bother writing it. (this also allows me to push themes and sneak things, but this post is too long)

often while i write im thinking ahead, so ill start noting future lines/plot ideas to use at the bottom of the document so i dont forget them. if it's a long fic my lines-to-be-used will be like, pages long lol.

JUST WRITE. I JUST WRITE. sometimes its slop, that okay. i try to write every single day.

whenever i return to a wip i reread it to get in the Groove.

as i write i sometimes make comments (in google docs) on some words that i know are placeholders. like i'll write a sentence and think: i need to change that word, but im too in the flow to do that now, so i just make a quick note so i dont miss it when editing. i have shorthand for it too, like for example, WC stands for 'word choice' and REP stands for 'too much repetition.' sometimes im lazy and dont do this ._.

speaking of repetition, one of my lil tricks is to start a list of repetitive words as i write. i will often throw in the names of characters, and some common pitfall words for me (words that i have a tendency to use too often). this is helpful for....

Step 3: The Editing

okay first i take a break. the length often depends on how long the fic is. if its a shortie then i just play a game or 2 of league or smth. i must banish the story from my brain.

when i come back i give it a read over and edit whatever issues i see, reword, blah blah. i also use Ctrl + F with my list of repetitive words! this way i can clearly see problem areas where i've used the same word too close together. i will also Ctrl + F grammar missteps, namely double spaces, double periods, and double commas.

for word choice ideas i use wordhippo :3c sometimes i recognize that a line needs to cook so ill come back to it.

i also do character checks where needed. (Would they REALLY do that?) at this point i can identify a problem area pretty easily so i dont do it that much anymore.

then as my final editing step i read the whole thing aloud. this step is so important that i never skip it, even on long ass docs. reading it aloud to myself is vital. when i read it aloud i can actually test the dialogue and see cadence issues and random mistakes that i never catch anywhere else. for longer stories this is done chapter by chapter as finished, which is,,, thank god lol.

if im unsure about a story then i'll let it ferment for a while (days, weeks) before i come back and edit, just to make sure im not crazy or smth.

Step 4: The Posting

i post in ao3's rich text format, so it keeps some of the formatting. then i hit PREVIEW and then i hit EDIT again. bc ao3 is finicky about italics and will add weird ugly spaces bc of that. so to get rid of them i use my CTRL + F method again to check for space + periods (literally a space then a period), space + commas, double spaces (again), etc. i also center those *** things that people use as scene breaks bc they're never centered. takes like 5 minutes.

then i post and try not to feel immediately awful lol.

anyway that's my writing process. this ended up super fucking long holy shit. sorry i like, rambled and blabbed. i try to be thorough. there's a lot more that i can talk about not pertaining to the process itself but like, yeahhhh. thanks if you read all this, hopefully its not terribly boring.

#shx note #writing advice #i dont even know #fanfiction

[drdemonprince]

hello okay so my apolocheese for any bad english... not my main language

i am reading unmasking autism, and im still stuck thinking about the bat and ball problem.. because i got it wrong when i was reading your book. but the thing is, like two years ago, my dad out of nowhere asked me that exact same problem.. and i got it right !? so like what i dont understand is why i keep getting it wrong, if the first time i got it right. when i tried to do it yesterday, i got a little panicky and nervous and couldnt think so i was like "ohhh myy ggaaddd uhmm ummm the bat the ball the uhh. the dollar money*profusely sweating*its 1 dolar i think i dont know... "

anyways, the reasons why im so stuck thinking about it is 1. i have no idea why i got it right the first time and after that got it wrong twice, and 2. i keep questioning if getting it wrong might mean im like, definitely not autistic

for some context, ive been questioning that i may be autistic for like, 3 to 4 years.. but i still havent found a solid answer, cant go to any doctors, i keep trying to disprove it because i dont struggle enough, end up overthinking it, all that stuff... ( i could keep talking but theres already mucho texto ! and this stuff is probably irrelevant either ways. also should i mention my age? not sure if it matters but im 18 )

so im actually not sure why im sending you this ask but like, idk i keep thinking about it for some reason. maybe you had some type of answer about what it... means, i guess !? im not sure if it even means anything considering i always ger nervous with problems like that and end up saying wrong answers.. yeah sorry this is kinda silly, hope its not too annoying of an ask o_0

oh lord, please don't a single logic problem convince you you're not autistic! 80% of autistic people get questions *like that one* right. That doesn't mean we all do. And there are a variety of questions used in the original experiment. The ones that don't involve math tend to be less anxiety provoking for many.

That question is not a diagnostic test. We don't believe in diagnosing autism here. Autistic is an identity and a political movement. All you have to do to join is to claim it.

[nerves-nebula]

I’ve never really recognized it as “religious trauma”, but I’m nodding along to ur list. It’s just kinda stuff that happened. Except for the few things that grown me was kinda at like ‘that seems a little bad actually-‘

I remember being 7 and first thinking what if God isn’t real as I was trying to sleep. So it’s like midnight and I’ve just had this world breaking thought that immediately had me spiraling down two trains of thought: Im going to hell for thinking that, and, what if he isn’t what the fuck. So of course I’m freaked out and I’m pretty sure child me needed a fucking hug or some assurance or something, so I went to my parents room, which woke up my mom. At which point I realize, I can’t tell them my actual problem because it was a thought I was ashamed of having, and I didn’t want to run the risk of getting in trouble for some nebulous comfort that was frankly unfathomable cus my parents suck. So I just said felt sick, and took “sorry” my mam gave me as comfort enough (which in hindsight is not a great response to that), and just had to go back to bed with all that. That shit stuck with me. I remember at Sunday school, maybe months or a year later, when one of the teachers said doubt was put in our minds by the devil, I was so fucking relieved.

And there’s the fact that I didn’t know other religions were a thing. I didn’t know there were other blends of Christianity. I lived in a small town and I just had never been touched by that concept until I moved at 11, and one of our religious education modules was on Judaism. Everyone else was just learning customs and calendar stuff, and I was having a whole epiphany. I was so confused until halfway into the lesson, and I realized they were talking about not being catholic. I literally searched the library for a book that would explain this arcane concept. And it was just such a mind blowing experience. I was couldn’t comprehend why no one had ever mentioned other religions if there were so many. And how did it make any sense that there were so many. The differences aren’t subtle. Point is, it was a whole thing.

If I hadn’t moved I would have been made to do my confirmation that school year. And that’s not okay! The whole point of that sacrament is that you’re choosing Christianity, like your old enough and conscious enough to make that choice. Adult in the eyes of the church and all that. Baptism but leveled up. But they make children do it. Unrelated, but when I first learnt about it I was 8, and there was a girl in my class that never had to religion with us. Which was the weirdest thing to me at the time, because sure there were people that didn’t have to do Irish or English, because they had different first languages. But religion? I always found that so weird. But she literally just. Wasn’t catholic. And I just couldn’t conceptualize that. It didn’t occur to me that could be an option.

Jesus, raising kids with a religion is brainwashing of the highest order and no one can change my mind on that. Sorry for rambling at u, that post just made me think.

If I hadn’t moved I would have been made to do my confirmation that school year. And that’s not okay! The whole point of that sacrament is that you’re choosing Christianity, like your old enough and conscious enough to make that choice. Adult in the eyes of the church and all that.

my girlfriend said this exact same thing when i was forced to be confirmed. said it didnt count but tbh that feels like a cop out. like its something ive been forced to do, like a spiritual violation or something, it still happened. but, eh, whatever

Jesus, raising kids with a religion is brainwashing of the highest order and no one can change my mind on that.

not sure i agree with you here, but i can agree that a lot of the ways kids are raised within Christianity is cult-ish and brainwash-y and bad.

#nnstuff #ask #christianity tw

[selfish-solace]

i have to say it’s kind of funny seeing people reblog my poorly made fo4 essay after the show came back. welcome back haters. If anyone’s curious about my thoughts on the tv show, it’s not my thing. i don’t really like it. i think the props department and the set people did a fantastic job but i think all the problems ive pointed out about fo4 carry into it heavily. and everything about like. everything. I don’t like the brotherhood as a milita, and it’s. Weird. To see west coast brotherhood portrayed as that.

to be clear, i have not finished the show nor do i plan on finishing it. i got about halfway through and im not going to hold the parts I haven’t seen against it. for the purposes of this rant, pretend that all you’ve seen is 4 episodes. act like this is still cable. and don’t get fucking weird about the fact I decided I wasn’t into it and dropped it. i don’t care if you personally think these issues are fixed by the end of the show.

ive always been an insane fallout conspiracy theorist and i was expecting to at least get super mad about the lore but im just. kind of apathetic. i think personally, that it’s fucking baffling that they decided to make their one main black character . like that. Maximus is like, constantly failing or being incredibly cruel to another person. like, when he put a razor into his only friends shoe for no reason other then social clout. i don’t know if they considered the optics of making the entirety of the brotherhood horrifically abuse the only black character because i genuinely believed for like the first three episodes that there was going to be some kind of “this brotherhood is racist” reveal, but no. I don’t think they thought about that. i don’t think they thought about much, to be honest. it feels like every new bit of information we get has to be delivered to us in the most unsubtle of ways. And that makes it boring to me. i don’t like how there’s essentially nobody normal in the wasteland except Lucy, because like. that’s really never been the case.

yeah, sure, there’s a bit of cruelty in everyone in fallout. that’s how this world works. But this show beats you over the head with the conclusion that everyone must be not trusted and everyone is to be feared and the wasteland really has fallen into complete anarchy. i think the complete destruction of shady sands and the ncr is a direct concequence of that choice. bethesda fallouts are kind of stuck in the old world apocalypse, and i just. think that’s kind of boring. the whole fantasy of fallout is seeing how things can change, and it feels like sometimes Bethesda takes “war never changes” too literally. like yeah. but that’s not what the quote means. it’s about how conflict is always the same, not how the world around it stays the same always. i also just think the fact there’s really nothing new or original to explore here is .. boring.

Quite frankly, im tired of the brotherhood. Im tired of the ncr. Im tired of the “find your family” plot. Im tired of the enclave. there’s nothing to mix up the formula. and im sorry, but i think the characters are boring too. i think that Walton goggins ghoul is not very interesting. I think Lucy’s arc is just. kind of predictable. because she’s literally just doing what people tell her with a kindness twist. fallouts always had these cool ass side characters, like, every dlc character from new Vegas. obviously it’s hard to translate that into a show, but who’s favorite is going to be the weird old lady? who’s honestly going to be interested in the horny farmers plight? does anyone care about that guy maximus was friends with? every character just falls flat for me. and that’s why i dropped it. because the new things it brings are just.. boring. and the things they keep the same are boring too. Genuinely, i had a better time watching the resident evil netflix show. at least that was interesting. I don’t care if you like it. I don’t think you’re a bad person for liking it. I get why. I just didn’t. be respectful in the notes please.

#fallout critical #fallout

[pipecleaneradventures]

thank you for such a in depth reply! this is my puppet, shes made out of wire and is needle felted. she has some problems like a poorly attached head and currently has no hands, but her body is decently poseable

im defaintly wondering what to use to make them stand up, I wasnt sure if most of your videos were top down or not. it looks like your using some sort of pipe cleaner arm attatched to the wall?

i also saw you had a video where one of the characters was blinking, ive always wondered how stuff like that was done. are the eyelids attatched or just sat ontop of the eyes? they dont look detatchable in the video

its rare i see any stop motion artists active online on sites i use, (though maybe i just dont know where to look) so its very nice to be able to talk to someone about it. im very new to it besides dabbling in it a bit as a kid so any advice or tips is helpful, so thanks so much for sharing your setup

sorry if this is incoherant, its kinda late here

Sorry  for the late response. I could have answered earlier, but my anxiety is always getting in the way of things.

That's so cool that you can needle felt and that you put wirres inside it. So it's the same as pipe cleaners material wise. :D Are you going to add hands to your puppet? You probably should do something to atttch the head better so itdoesn't fall off, but things can be fixed after a figure is made, though heads can be tricky to attatch better. I need to know how it's held together. The wires in my pipe cleaner heads go all through the body, I usually make the head first even if it doesn't have all the details at first.

I've made my videos with so many different camera setups and ways of holding my figures up. The first year of videos I made were "filmed" top down. (it's wierd to call it that because this is reeeeeeeaaaaaalllly slow filming:D) My figures were just lying on a fleece blanket with minimal backgrounds often consisting of another color blanket supposrting my figures because they wouldn't look natural lying flat, and the second material was also the ground.

For about the next year I had my figures on an easel instead because the wifi was bad in the new place I lived and as I discovered later, my tablet was just getting old, so I couldn't use two separate devices, one as a camera and one from which to edit. Besides the fact my figures were at a slant instead of top down, I made my animations in much the same way as before. (There were lots of other small changes and improvements amongst using these methods and before I did top down I expereimented with all sorts of different ways, some of them pretty silly and not used for long.)

Taking pictures with the easel was often a fight with gravity and I also wanted to start adding more background pieces, but I didn't want them to be bumped by my crittersmoving, so I had to change my method. So again I went through lots of trial and error like I did before I'd settled on doing the top down picture taking. I tried out all the different methods and ways of holding my critters and backgrounds in place I could think about. I experimented with usign materals that hadn't worked for earlier setups, but that I still had lying around so, why not try them?

Finally I landed upon the setup you saw in my recent video where there are magnets on my easel, I also have ground in my animations. (I didn't have that for most of my earlier animations so yay!) As of about a week I've been using a doll stand stuck to the magnets of the "background wall". (The magnets also help hold background pieces in place.) But the doll stand botem is stuck to the wall so the tall part is facing the back of the critter and I have a pipe cleaner attatched to the part that is supposed to be around the figure's waist. (In the video I replaced the wire part with a pipe cleaner, but the wirre is thicker so now the pipe cleaner is just there becaus it is thinner than the end of the holding thing and is the same color as the figure.)

So, now my figures can move freely in the air attatched by the waist to a stand attatched to the wall. The magnet background is covered with my fleece blanket, and the magnets are strong enough to be able to grab the pipe clenaers through the blanket fluff. The blanket hides them. I also hide the botem of the stand by either it going through a background piece like the leaves of a tree covering it, like in my Shadow and Flicky animation. Or the ground color is pulled up over the stand, like in the one with the little chicken, Cucky. Or it is hidden behind an energy aura like in the one with Shadow floating with the blue energy. I proably shouldn't have shared my secret of how I make these, now people will be looking for where the stand base must be hiding. :D I still have to try out my new idea of how to easily move the stans about with the critters on them. (When you pull the tall part they follow along with that so that has to be the  leading part when you move them because it is atatched to one side.)

(I think that description was longer than it needed to be. Oh well)

As for the eyelids. The figure in my animation yesterday has atatched eyelids that can pulled from above the eyes like real eyelids. That is difficult to work with and takes longer. I haven't even animated with the eyelids like that. My critters you see blinking have eyelids that I just set on top of the eyes. At first they were made out of felt, but the felt wasn't always the same color, so they are pipe clenaers, (thin pipe clenaers, not fluffy ones). I have separate pieces for the amount the eyesareopen. I alsohave simular ones for making the eyesopen wider or the pupils dialating. I'vealso used ones for the different mouth shapes, even though that gets trickier for animals who's mouths stick out from their faces. But yeah, it's a thing other stop motion animaters also use. At first the felt pieces I used were sticky, but they don't have to be sticky because the fuzzy felt and gravity hold them in place. It was so cool the first time I saw one of my characters blink in my animation. I first had them blinking too often actually.

When I started making these videos, (I wanted to animate them shortly after I started making things with pipe cleaners, but I had no idea how I'ddo it and itseemed like such a big, imposible progject.) When I finally got good at pipe cleaners and started experimenting with animating with them, it was amazing how many other stop motion animators I found out there. Like, this is an old way of animating, so it's interesting that people still use it. There are lots of Lego animaors, they call their animations Brick Films. After I'd started figuring things out on my own and with advice from others' videos I even discovered other pipe clenaer animators because pipe cleaner creators are also rare unless you are one, and then you start finding them all. :D I had to come up with my own techniques to animate with pipe cleaners because no onehad instructions about that. There are clay animations and lego ones, and I even found a page that's pretty big that does needle felted animations and even made a needle felted videogame.

Stop motion used to be used in movies all the time before computers took over. It's like I was born in the wrong time period. Anyway, there are occasionally Stop Motion movies still. It's nice to be able to talk to somebody about it. I wonder if people I know are starting to get dirven crazy by how I keep talking about a new way of animating my figures. This most recent one has a lot of promise I think. (Though I think that about all of them.:D) So teaching someone about how to make these videos is maybe not the best thing for me to do because I keep changing how I make them every day.

As for actually animating. I think it's just practice and observing what you see and usuaing that useful feature on youtube where you can see individual frames and stuff like that. But mainly it's practice. That's why you wnat to have your figures in a way that you can easily move them. Having a wire frame is great because then they stay where you moved them. That's why my figures also have pipe cleaner hair, so it stays in place. I've been posting videos consitently for over two years, so I've had lots of practice and I hope I'm improving.

Anyway, you can ask me any other questions you like, maybe you can even message me to ask them. I hope you are able tomake some animations and have fun making them. Initial setup is big and scary. I remember making much bigger backgrounds than I eeded to make when you just need what you see on screen. Anyway, so just make what you need for your first animation, maybe even jsut have a blank background for practince. Too many times I've made a big setup jsut to try out one little thing that doesn't work, so just have it so you can practice that one little thing. Even try to move your figures through the motions before taking the pictures to see if they will even move like you like.

Anyway, I hope that helps and makes maybe a little sense, I'm super scatter brained. I hope you will enjoy animating, but it's ok if you don't. The figure you made looks really cute. I'd lketo see other things you've made. Anyway, happy creating!

#pipecleaners #stopmotion #stopmotionanimation #chenillestems #animation

[red-dyed-sarumane]

pspsppsspps can i know a bit of backstory for ur oc sora? like to expand the description on ur toyhouse? and i hope this isnt weird to say but she always stuck out for me bc i had this oc when i was younger who's name is sora and had similar hair style and color. everytime i see ur sora im like woagh. same hat.

i love toyhouse for allowing me to catch up on my own ocs like a daily paper very cool anyway-

sora was one of my first real human ocs! she was originally a kind of edgy-for-a-young-teen-created-character type chara & ive kinda had to rebuild her in ways over the years & im still not handling her quite right but that said.

sora's back story is heavily dependent on her ability. she's far from a prodigy with it, she's like. most average case of learning she had an ability ever, except for the ability itself. what i have written for her ability i dont think holds up anymore; i think she also has the potential to positively affect people's mental states as well. thing is she has effectively no practice with it & it tends activate when she's scared or angry so it messes with people's heads terribly & thats all she knows of it. she doesnt want to hurt anyone she just happens to be really good at accidentally giving people like. major depression in mere moments. which she hates. so she hides.

she's (accidentally) lead to multiple people in her home town getting themselves into accidents with injuries or killed. didn't take her too long to put together the incidents were related to her ability, & with relatives occasionally joking that she curses people, she felt really guilty & ended up running away. that kind of started a trend of going somewhere, causing problems on accident, getting upset, going somewhere else for a while until she managed to grow her bangs out long enough to cover her eye which seemed to mostly solve her problem. she knows she doesnt have any real control over it & that scares her so she gets really upset if even the wind pushes her hair out of place. there's never any concrete evidence she's behind any of the incidents, but weird abilities are all over this world so even if she's not being held responsible in publications & whatnot, the witnesses & locals aren't completely unaware of the situation. so like i said she went new places where she wouldnt have that reputation.

she made friends with roselii at her current town & roselii's suggested on a few occasions to practice with her ability so she's more comfortable with it, but the thing is she needs another person to do that, and she's not the type to use strangers for an experiment, & there's no way she'd ever risk hurting roselii so she always declines. theres like. ability sparring in this world where strangers fight each other with their abilities, BUT she only leaves town if she's moving to a different one & in the event she crosses paths with someone else she'll lie & say she doesnt have an ability & otherwise try & get out of it.

she's pretty comfortable where she is now, but she still has the mindset where she's prepared to up & leave at the smallest reason.

#asks #kukiyuuri #she was made before psychic world was a thing actually she used to just be like a cursed child or whatever #chuuni kind of chara for sure #'doesnt her family miss her' yeah & she misses them but shes overcome with guilt so she cant go back #anyway kids going on journeys is far from unheard of there #although she was a bit young for it #even then no one really felt there was anything too weird about her traveling by herself #thats usually a pair activity but again not really enough cause for concern #i could cure her by making her friends with a deity & therefore giving her someone she cant harm #but what fun are ocs if they dont have problems #if im srill being too vague sorry i can try again #anyway no its not weird to say!! same hat :3 #i think gumi subconsciously inspired her haircut oops oh well

[autumn-rain-co]

so like, im considering my stances on a lot of things now because i just got out of a really toxic/weird friend group, and its making me think like. idk syscourse is so complicated for me and it feels like im doing the thing of “trying to please everyone and instead pleasing no one”

i have DID. i have DID because of trauma. but ive always been plural, i know i have. i view the fact that im plural and the fact that i have DID as separate entities that effect each other but arent necessarily the same thing. im also getting increasingly uncomfortable with using non-medical language when before i had an aversion to it.

i agree with the majority (if not all) of your stances when it comes to syscourse, and honestly i always have, but after being in endo-centric spaces for so long its hard not to have that feeling of “am i being a bad person?” stuck in the back of my head every time i think/say directly that while i do believe in endogenic plurality, i dont think you can have OSDDID without trauma. and hearing the sources that the proendo people i used to know would use to prove the existence/potential for endogenic OSDDID get disproven is starting to push me further and further away from finding those communities acceptable at all. they make me angry, on a certain level, because i would parrot those sources to hell and back without ever questioning them.

its tempting to say im unaligned, but even saying im unaligned would potentially just upset everyone regardless of stance — because antiendos would see it as being pro, and proendos would see it as being anti (i will note ive literally seen people do this with Your stances). on top of that, id essentially be exiling myself from any communities thtat dont have an extremely nuanced view on syscourse — and there are Very few places that Do have nuanced stances.

idk, sorry if this is too much for ur blog, im just trying to sort things out with myself

Ough... Oughh I really get where you're coming from Anon, I really do.

I used to struggle with wanting to find a good middle ground that everyone can agree on by researching and reading many opinions that I find to be nuanced and puts both sides of the endo debacle into consideration. But, after a while, I started to realize I couldn't find a middle ground at all.

I struggled with this cycle of trying to cater and take everyone's opinions and feelings into consideration, but in the end there are still some people that are unhappy. Which is, inevitable. Someone will always find a way to disagree.

After a while, I came to the conclusion that my stances and opinions are not things that should make people feel comfortable or happy. I wanted my opinion to consider all sides, be based on correct information, and be open to nuances. If anyone had a problem, they should avoid me themself.

From then on, whenever I entered any space that I considered to have a lack of nuance, pro or anti, I was just honest. I explained my stance thoroughly and answered any questions they may have. To my surprise, I actually got quite a few spaces that let me in (even if they were quite wary).

If a space refuses me then okay, I can find another. I got sick of the lack of spaces with nuance, so I just made my own. I settled with trying to surround myself with people that didn't mind my stances, even better if some actually agreed with me.

With this, I had to distance myself from spaces that just didn't suit me. Spaces that spread misinformation, encouraged harmful beliefs... Hell, I even have a minor (not so great) reputation in some pro-endo discord servers because of the beliefs and opinions I set for myself. However, I had to learn that this wasn't a moral failing on my part.

I simply had a different truth than others. Sure, people agree that considering all sides is a good thing, but sometimes the same people would see you also consider this side that they don't like/think you're considering their side less, they won't think your truth is "good". Antagonizing you.

In summary, you can do whatever the hell you want. Just expect consequences that may or may not make sense.

#syscourse #sorry if this wasn't helpful aaa #i've never expected to get an ask like this #anyone can feel free to chime in with their own experiences!

[lostmykeysie]

hi keysie! i dnt use tumblr like at all but i recently just finished reading the horcrux hunt n the missing link and boy do i hve thoughts i need to share. listen, ur writing is absolutely phenomenal n i cannot stop thinking abt it morning, noon n night. the way u write the friendship between regulus n remus has me crying n laughing all at the same time. they care abt each other sm. it feels so real to me. i love them so so so much.

honestly, i wasnt sure how i felt abt the platonic kissing at first but as i read on i get it. the way u portray their dynamic it js fits so well. i literally adore the way they talk to each other n ive honestly hvent found any other works like it. im so glad they had each other during the war and everything.

some aspects of their friendship tht rlly hve my heart/stuck w me:

- the fact tht regulus starts questioning his view of everything bc remus came into his life !!

-n the fact he goes into the wolfsbane project (mostly?) bc of remus - THEIR NICKNAMES FOR EACH OTHER

-regulus (especially the 'You’ve got me tearing my hair out here Rom, I’m so worried.' letter) n lilys letters to remus during the december moon 😭😭

-the fact tht they share memories on the pensieve w each other js so tht the other cn understand their feelings. IT FEELS SO INTIMATE. its like when ure telling ur friend a problem tht u cnt quite change but u js need them to listen yk?

-"I think the Lupins were always meant to be a four piece set, and now we’ve finally got you." I ADORE THEM!! regulus n hopes relationship 💗💗💗

-when regulus was like how cld u sirius??? he thought u were the love of his life n u thought he was a traitor??? i cld kill u rn. me too reg me too.

speaking of wolfstar angst,, u wrote them so well!! my heart cracks little by little with every fight they hve in the camden flat but theyre doing sm better now in tml it makes me SO happy. the fight where remus leaves for his parents house yet still left pieces of himself in the flat BROKE ME.

the fact tht remus wnted to tell sirius n the others wht he was doing so bad but cldnt, n in the end he knew it was right not to bc of the rat. honestly, the way u decipt peter has me in shambles. bc like, he was ready to betray them frm THE START yk?? like he literally became animagi for remus n STILL tried to frame him. id feel violent as well.

and lily, oh gods lily. i love her so much. the fact tht she cried bc she realised she loved james n felt like she was losing a piece of herself bc she thought tht meant she didnt love alice anymore??? broke me once again. alice is one of my favourite characters and no matter how minor of a role she plays in any fic i still love her dearly. i, too, would be in love w her.

i also love tht lily n remus were still able to repair their friendship even w everything tht happened. i dont rmb wht happened to the polaroid, did lily take it w her?

the girls + dorcas n reg getaway!!! dorcas' face jewellery omg 💗💗 i also plan to get a few piercings to my face when i cn in the future :)

reg n lily hving a truce in muggle waitrose is so funny n endearing to me bc theyre hving a heart to heart while picking up cheese and like?? breadsticks 😭😭

oh well, this is getting quite long i think. my last point: jegulus!!

ill be honest i stumbled upon the missing link before the horcrux hunt bc i was looking for jegulus fics but after seeing reg n remus interact i HAD to go bck m read thh. no regrets, i enjoyed it dearly.

reg n james kissing n reg js being like nope nope im not gns process tht. BUT LIKE NOW THEYRE HOLDING HANDS !! honestly i love how reg treats harry, their interactions has my heart. if i were james n i saw reg n my son interacting, id already be a gooey puddle on the floor, james has quite the self control. tho considering it is physically impossible for it to happen, i think he has already metaphorically melted into a gooey puddle on the floor.

lastly the part where remus was talking abt how haz takes after all the four of them. one of my favourite moments honestly.

now this is quite a lot, so if u do end up reading all of this, thank u for writing thh n tml. 💗

sending lots of love x

hi darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all i just want to say this is the LONGEST ask i have ever had lmao i didn't even know you were allowed this many characters your power is unmatched xxx it's like you wrote me a lil story you're the best xxx

i love regus friendship and i can't even remember why i was like 'you know what i need to write about this' but i will NEVER write them as anything but bffs ever again i am obsessed with them i love them so much i'm so glad you do too xxx

i think the platonic kissing was a bit of a wild ride for us all and i think some folks were a bit worried it wouldn't come across as platonic because it feels like such a romantic thing but i think once we got used to it it just became *their thing* you know?? and i love it so so much i love them and they love each other i love their dynamic so much

i love your list of faves <3 i just love the concept of people having fave things and moments it makes me sooooo happy. i think our faves are quite similiar, reggie doing the wolfsbane trial defo for me. the first night they got drunk together in reggie's flat is also close to my heart<3 and of course reg seeing sirius for the first time in years and defending remus <3

the wolfstar angst hurts but it's also just... it's not *easy* to write but they just have so much angst they really have fought a war for their relationship and it's never been smooth sailing and i'm glad i didn't just throw them together happily ever after once the war was over because it just didn't feel real enough you know? BUT i feel like we've earned the fluff now and that is ALL we have now for these last four chapters it's fluff fluff smut and fluff and i can't wait <3 <3 it tastes so much sweeter now because of the angst you know

peter was a tough one because i feel like canon implies he's just a coward but that's just. not enough for me, you know? and he's canonically a hat stall so i just love the idea he's actually this menacing creature that is so selfish and self centred that as soon as he thought he wouldn't be on the winning side of the war and voldemort had more to give him he just dipped. like how you can forsake your best friends of ten years you have to be a horrid person and a coward just doesn't cover that for me!!!!! but a person driven by selfish motivation their whole life, loyal to only themselves???? yes please

i LOVE lily i love sapphic lily but i LOVE the idea of jily being best friends. lily is so mature, much more mature - emotionally too - than the rest of them, especially the boys. it is a bit heartbreaking to not only give her unrequited love for her best friend but then to kill alice.... such an ouch i wont lie. but i love her. and i'm really excited for her future in this series too, i didn't just want to shove her into a relationship like she's got trauma to get over healthily and a kid and everything she deserves a proper arc <3

lily did take the polaroid!!! she has it in a drawer at the moment but it won't stay there <3

dorcas is a legend and i love them they're such a fun character to write and i might be inspired enough to re-pierce my other nostril and get an eyebrow... i want a ring through my eyebrow soooo bad

i love reg and lily and they will only get closer <3 <3

omg me and you both. i feel like reg is accidentally great with kids and james potter is the daddiest daddy so of course if you're great with his kid he's gonna love you. that definitely sold reg for him i think. i also love him so much in this fic because i feel like he just *knows* how to deal with the black brothers. he's not pushing reg for anything despite being quite obviously his biggest fan and i love him for it i actually LOVE them. and i didn't expect to! this is my first jegulus fic and idk if i'll write them again outside of this universe/series but i love them so much i feel like they've come together so well and they complement each other and i LOVE THEM

i do love little harry and i cannot wait for harry to grow up with all four (and more) of them raising him. i will defo do follow up fics in this series without a doubt because i just have to for my own sake xxx

thanks so much for coming and writing me your own little story in my ask box hahahah sorry it took so long for me to get to it, i am chronically OFFline xxxxxx kisses xxxxxxx hope you enjoy the final few chapters !!!!!!!!!

#someone asked me a q #lovely wonderful babe #thanks for coming to see me it's especially lovely when a non tumblr person does i feel all flustered and blushin #the missing link #my response was a bit long so i stuck it under the cut sorry if this took over your dash folks!

[wanderrlust0]

today was fun and we had more fun than we thought we would at this party since we werent even sure if we would go or not

edit: 11.16 / i just knew the two coworkers and my managers at the party and then just stuck with snow the whole time ofc. we got deadlifted by the girls girlfriends sister lol and she was in a whole leather/latex one piece like okayy girl youre strong. there was someone as ice king or technically simon and they were very friendly and fun. we took lemon drop shots and jello shots and i had some mixed drinks and i was sooo reddd lolol luckily it was dark but in the bathroom it was so noticeable. idk if it was but it couldve been the most ive had to drink ever or at least the most different types of alcohol ive had at once and my head started to hurt at the end but thankfully i didnt throw up!! we had a fun time tho. we got there at like 9:30ish and left around 12 or so? and sat in the car for a bit but snow got along just fine with everyone after a little while of being there and them and V talked a lot. Z asked us if we were together and were like lolol noo and he asked how we met and we mutually refused to answer & made up some nonsense so i told him to just guess even tho he would have no clue bc he doesnt know me like that and this is the most he’s heard me talk lmao. one guess was a one night hook up im like …nooo lol we never thought this would ever come up. anyways, i found out days after the party that my coworker who thru it thought me and snow were together bc she mentioned us to my boss and he knows the whole story so he told her that we werent (idk what else he told her tho since i wasnt there) but she apparently thought we gave those vibes and just looked like it and when he told me that i was like omg .. like even ice king/simon person asked us and we just mettt. i mean they were pretty gay and first asked us if we were queer bc he could tell and that was the first time someone told me that to my face so i kind of felt good?about that. like yess i wanna look queer and just not straight lolll. so i followed my coworker on ig and i see pics of her gf and i know her!! her and my bf were friends once and like were closeclose where they did stuff (this was like 5 or 6yrs ago, before i met him) and she ended up realizing she was gay or something after him and they stopped talking (mainly bc she apparently would trauma dump on him a lot). i only know about her bc years later she hit him up out of nowhere and apologized for always talking to him about her problems and that she realized she was gay and then asked if theyd wanna get lunch or something so he told me. when i saw pics of her i recognized her from tinder when i had it. they never ended up hanging out bc he thought itd be weird now that hes with me and i would feel a bit weird about it. anyways, so i literally saw her and spoke to her at the party but i didnt notice that was her bc the room was dark and it was brief. looking back now thats crazy it was her and that we both know the same person that im now dating but she doesnt know that lol and neither does he bc i justtt came to this realization. the ice king person is now her like bestie who she met on tinder. its crazy when peoples connections come to light like someone you know knows someone else you know and they have their whole history and i have mine and then you can be in the same room as them and like only one person knows the other and etc lol idk its mind boggling

#sorry im just spamming #halloween #mypost #journal

[neeko-system]

long post inc.

ok so im working on this world called “nevermore”. its a world mostly made for a TTRPG system im working on. its a fairy tale storybook world thats very thematically dense. like, the whole idea of it is everything that exists in the reality serves a narrative purpose to some unseen theme “beyond” the page of the world.

it deals with a lot of themes of mental illness and identity struggles and the changes that people go through in life. theres a big focus on journeys and road trips and the things and lengths people go to to achieve some sort of change, physically, mentally, socially, etc.

family is another big theme. a big element of the gameplay/story is about the people you surround yourself with. the people that you take with you/meet on journeys whether physical or mental. the people you live with on these journeys and how you change as a result of being around them. what its like to share space with other people and what not. lots about friends and found family and loss of family (death, trauma, complications, falling outs) the world exists physically and yet it doesnt exist anywhere. nevermore is a place but its also more of an idea. its a kind of fantasy world that is about facing hardships rather than running away from them. its the dark forests that are comforting. its knowingly being lost yet always finding your way. falling into rhythm with the world and following the paths it gives you, not necessarily out of love but out of a caring interest.

the forests of nevermore are nature itself. mountains, plains, the woods, the creek. any hike you’ve ever done in your area. any camping, backpacking. being under the stars. it’s small rural villages where everyone knows each other and everyone just hangs out and vibes and fends off the beasts of the horrors:tm:(its a nightly thing)

its staying up late at night with your friend thats having a panic attack. its being stuck far up a hill and your ankle is injured. its trying to figure out what you’re going to eat tonight. its existing on the outskirts of civilization, socially and physically. its the balancing act of caring for your own mental burden and helping those around you, the latter taking importance over the former.

nevermore is a mystical world painted with every color of the rainbow, drawn on black paper. its a childish rejection of adult society struggling with the same human problems. its young and naive and curious and hurt and comforted.

its about me. its about everyone. its about being human. its about gender. its about love and loss. in that order.

everyone is obsessed about something

ive also made a lot of art of it pls take a look >.>

this was one of the first pieces of art i made for it. (might have been the first) i was basically just putting to image some ideas i had about creatures id make in a fairy tale setting. one thats more about the creatures and less ab out the humans in the creature world. (humans as creatures or something idk)

starting left then going right

the faerrin (far left) was one of the first and strongest ideas i had. obviously fairys being in a faery tale world is not new (its like, in the name) but it was more about their role/space in the world. as it relates to self expression and identity, the faerrin are child-like and naiive but deeply curious. they have a child like cuiousity about the world surrounding them and are always exploring everything and anything they can. i like the approach of bug-like fairy so the faerrin have membranous bug wings and insect like body/limbs. they have horns that curve down like hair (that didnt come until later) and antennae that stick out the top of their head. faerrin are generally named for pretty, natural things that grow on the ground. plants, flowers, vegetables.

the next strongest were the glüm. the name came later but since the beginning of nevermore i had the idea of the faeries, then dark ink feathered bird creatures that were gangly and grotesque and foul. the image on the bottom left got it pretty succinctly for me. they’re short, with long pointed horns and dark ink black feathers and beak. they wear their wings around them like a big springy coat that sways up and down as they move. they also project a colorful miasma around them that kinda obscures them and makes them blend into the colors around them. their bodies are grossly disfigured and gangy and their claws are sharp and wicked. they repeat sounds and things people say in distorted and crackly voices. they’re obsessively clean and insanely normal.

next was the gargin who i was still figuring out at the time. the original idea about them was they were big stone gargoyle like beings that were protective and mournful. i then had the idea of them being trees instead, but the name stuck. eventually i landed on them being golems made of logs and sticks with large butterfly wings protruding from the back. they’re obsessed with knowledge as a tool and constantly forget whatever they’re thinking about. they’re autism robots but like wood elementals that like helping people with all the things they figure out. but also mourning everything they forget as if the memory had died with them.

the next one was another exploration of the glum but with them having a large projected shadow around them. i like the idea but not sure what to do with it.

then the last in frame drawing was of a zull. now the zull are actually a different creature i pulled in from another world i made. its too long of a story for this but basically they’re “soulless beings.” stylistically the zull are -completely white all over to a out of place degree -varying in size and limb count/face count/head count. some have multiple faces, 3 arms 4 legs, 3 fingers on each hand, two heads, etc. -and they’re mannequin like. staring, creepy, almost human yet somethings off. uncanny valley but less for humans and more just what constitutes as “alive.” they’re a combination of a few ideas and themes important to me but importantly they’re representative of angry melancholy. they’re angry about being alive, but dont want to die. they exist in a constant state of “would rather not exist” than anything else. (do not diagnose me i am mentally CHILL not mentally ILL)

it takes a lot of “mechanical” inspiration from the heart: the city beneath, electric bastionland, and lots of pretty exploration games i played growing up. ori and the blind forest notably. pyre by supergiant games (this one is the biggest inspiration offender(the whole idea of a road trip rpg system came to me because i love this game so much.))(also visually and thematically) if you’ve ever seen the movie 9 holy shit that movie fucked me up but also this game is like that

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh’

i’ll probbaly post more about it and post mroe art cause i have a lot to share pleading emoji pointing left pointing right

tanks for listening to me ramble <3s and kisses on the mouth with tongue (i always ask for consent) love you all goodbye

#willowposting #i dont even know what to tag this wtih #good luck reading all this for real #im not proofreading this until the morning so whoever sees this before i do IM SO FUCKING SORRY

[phantom-bleu]

I think people can be a little too harsh on the tlers its smth ive thought abt for a while. Like ppl criticised wizard cookie for being much “meaner” in the revised english translation but actually he was always a pretty snarky kid even back in ovenbreak, they just dialled it up and also gave him jabs in his dialogue that made more sense in english. And espressos supposed diff personality in eng to kr bc thanks to koreans grammar systems he slips from polite/formal into informal on occasion to make a point abt his upbringing. You obviously cant do that in english so expecting translators to just magically come up w a faithful tl for that isnt fair. Except english does have a form of the same thing which they did use, espresso talks in such contrived formal sentences w zero contractions or any figures of speech to the complexity that ive seen a couple of instances where ppl didnt even understand what his dialogue meant. And we can ask ourselves why that was their chosen method. While i cant read korean we can only assume espressos formal speech is to adapt to high republic society which hes not born into and treats him worse for it, and hes on the defence to prove his place there. And we can also only assume his informal tense is more true 2 his natural way of talking. In english espressos so well-spoken its jarring compared with other charas, esp latte who is a similar position to him but so much more relaxed, and he comes across as stuck-up and rude for it. But doesnt that also serve the same purpose as being a voice he puts on to prove he belongs in academia/high society/etc bc if you really thought abt it his manner of speaking just wouldnt naturally happen. Does this kind of alter his personality? Yeah but in the case where they struggled to tl a largely grammar-based point of characterisation into a language where u just cant do the same thing he would probably come across as so much drier. A localisation being different to the original text isnt a bad thing, its often necessary to rephrase things or make changes to a character so that these small things abt charas r communicated more intuitively without you having to think abt them or keeping in mind that the game isnt originally english. Like they arent trying to sabotage a characters personality most of the time they have to make minor sacrifices so that you arent completely lost trying to pick up on all the subtext and cues from a culture u arent from. This is the point where id also defend the 1 dchoco line in the dark cacao kingdom storyline everyone and their mother had a problem with but i dont remember it so im not gonna

#espresso takes up 60% of the post cus he owns propery in my brain its not just abt him #also i can just say my points abt tling better if i use him as an example #Im only an english speaker though so i dont understand the translation process at all #im just obsessed with linguistics of english and most changes for the crk tl ive understood wat they changed and why

[angelhummel]

Wow - that's a very impressive list of songs. i was looking at it in detail, and i'm sure you have, and i wont bore the pants off your mutuals, but it's very interesting!!

I counted the group numbers - ie 3 or more characters or more and this is how it broke down:

season 1 - 19 numbers season 2 - 13 numbers season 3 - 16 numbers season 4 - 15 numbers season 5 - 11 numbers season 6 - 4 numbers

18 characters had solos still on list.

I think about 38 different duet partnerships.

oooh that is interesting!! thank you for taking all that down for me. I do like breaking stuff down like that but tbh no i haven't looked quite so intently myself bc it's work enough as it is just doing everything else lmao

which, fun fact, i've given myself more work than i need bc even tho i could go ahead and write out a full bracket, i haven't. i keep randomizing the matchups every time lmao so i and the voters have no idea what's coming! more work but more fun imo (if you dont agree sorryyy but its my poll uwu) but yeah ive been staring at the names of all these songs that i start to feel like ive accidentally done doubles and messed something up but nope, everything is just stuck that firmly in my brain rn lol

Alright since you mentioned solos I'm gonna go thru and list all the characters that still have solos in the running, and how many there are...

Elliott: 1

Emma: 1

Holly: 1

Jake: 1

Jane: 1

Sunshine: 1

Jesse: 2

Quinn: 2

Brittany: 3

Unique: 3

Artie: 4

Finn: 4

Tina: 4

Santana: 8

Kurt: 9

Rachel: 9

Mercedes: 15

Blaine: 24

Now it's kind of null bc it's not like I included how many solos they had from the start BUT we all know Rachel had the most (42) and Blaine managed to come second (29), despite being in a full less season than her

BUT as I always say Mercedes has the next most out of anyone lmao (24) so it always irks me when people act like she was starving for solos and needed more alongside like Kurt (13) or Santana (14) or god forbid Tina and Quinn with their pathetic little 6 each

and everyone can talk til they're blue in the face about how it has nothing to do with the actor or character and they just like what they like and that they just don't like rachel's solos bc there's so many they all start to run together which is totally valid criticism but are we going to pretend like mercedes and blaine don't also have that problem too???

i mean truth be told there are so many rachel solos that i forget about bc they just mean absolutely nothing to me or the plot lmao but honestly i feel like mercedes's solos run together more?? honestly im mostly just a fan of her early s1 ones but then everything after sectionals is like ...yep. (except for sweet transvestite, love rhps). i mean she has way fewer than rachel but they still manage to feel exhausting for me lol

and i kind of feel the same with blaine but to a lesser extent bc like the warblers are one thing but i really love all his songs but some of his from s3 onward are like... eh.

I think Kurt and Santana are the ones I have the least problems with, musical catalogue wise, bc at least their songs were fewer and further between so they hit harder. Plus there's actually like a lot of variety in their styles. which again could just seem like a personal matter bc like someone else could say that all kurt's songs are just old broadway standards that blend together but like that's what i like and what i know lmao so they stand out more to me from song to song. yknow???

so like it is all personal preference but also i do feel like some people are biased aklsjfdskl the end <3

#this got away from me #oops #glee #glee song tournament #asks #my thoughts #1908jmd