#im sorry but lashes were NOT a thing either that was just like lots and lots and lots and lots of mascara make it spider legs babey

[fadingdaggerr]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could write a fluff Melissa x reader, where R is a new teacher and shes got this sick motorcycle and everybody thinks she's super cool and badass, and Mel's absolutely head over heels and gets all nervous when R is around, and when R eventually realizes it she starts doing things on purpose to get Mel all flustered.

With like A LOT of fluff.

You can maybe make it little spicy too, or not.

Idk you do whatever you prefer.

know i’m alive

pairing: melissa schemmenti x gn!reader

summary: request above! 18+ minors, dni | 5.8k

includes: the dating but not really sort of trope, but of ooc!melissa i’m sorry, partially unedited again im sorry

warnings: sexual innuendo, alcohol consumption (brief), making out/kissing, smut (fingering, oral, mel receiving), body worship?, aftercare

note: the bike referenced is a harley-davidson 1992 daytona, one of my personal fav models. i grew up in a biker family so this was cathartic. also the temperatures referenced in fahrenheit are roughly the 10-20°c range, hope that’s helpful :)

It’s become a sort of routine: get to work, drop your things off, get coffee, make Melissa blush, teach, do prep, watch Melissa try to hide a smile, go home, repeat. You can’t help yourself, getting the woman, who will always be the toughest in any room she’s in, riled up with fluttering lashes. Shocked faces from across the room didn’t help with the ego you were steadily growing with each interaction.

The first day you were at Abbott, she pointedly ignored you, despite constantly having an eye on you. What you once thought was suspicion over a new person near the kids, though sort of true, was more of a curiosity. A new third grade teacher walked into her school, wearing an oversized denim jacket and old Chucks, how was she supposed to feel? Her harsh glares and eagle eyes softened, and you started to see a more bashful side of the woman. It was only until Ava had the balls to say that Melissa’s behavior was very not Melissa, that you noticed that only you could evoke this side of her.

Since day one, the redhead has had an interest in you, not that she would ever verbalize it. Breathlessness has become a common feeling every time you come in with the sleeves of your sweater rolled up and rings adorning your fingers, making her focus shift and half the time she doesn’t hear a word you say, just following the gold bands that catch the light as you speak animatedly. Melissa longs for the day you got close enough and she could pull you in by the necklace you wear, the same that dangles in a taunt when you lean into her space. In the brief moments you’re alone, there’s a sense of calm that comes over both of you. The need to keep up a bravado drops, and you can indulge yourself in her presence. She’s lost count of how many times you casually dropped a gorgeous or beautiful instead of using her name, and how she has to fight turning when you say either in casual conversation, not just to her. All you know is that her wide, surprised eyes are all the motivation you need to keep it up.

—☽—

It’s bitter cold as you walk into Abbott, finding yourself nearly running to the main entrance before your eyes begin to water from the nipping winds. Reprieve comes in the form of the front lobby, leaning against it to catch your breath and shrug off your jacket to let the warmer air rid you of goosebumps. With your belongings dropped off in your classroom, it’s easy to start moving towards the lounge, knowing you saw a silver car that belonged to a certain redhead.

The voice of Jim Gardener is all there is when you enter, Barbara having, no doubt, told them to shut their mouths while her ‘second favorite man’ was speaking, Gerald also ranking number one in his wife’s heart. Grabbing your personal mug from the shelf, you pour a cup of unfortunate coffee as you watch Melissa through your periphery. She used to sit in one of the chairs, no room for someone to place themselves next to her. However, once you started, you noticed she moved to the couch, where no one but you was brave enough to sit.

Walking slowly to your spot, you gently sip the coffee that threatens to spill over the sides before setting it on the table. Lowering yourself, you sit purposefully closer to Melissa than a typical coworker would. Not one shuffle away or look of discomfort comes of it, it almost makes you grin. As the weather comes on, and Jim is no longer on screen, voices start to fill the room. You throw your arm back to the back of the couch as leverage to push yourself forward, leaning into Melissa’s space as the two-week broadcast appears on screen.

Her attention on you is not missed, neither is Barbara’s, who you already know is giving Melissa a look of bewilderment. The dusty pink that paints her cheeks with every interaction between you has quickly become your favorite color. It’s a struggle and a half to keep your eyes on the screen, but the temperatures being in the fifties and sixties starting tomorrow made you so excited that it didn’t even matter. Instantly, your mind is whirling with plans for the second the final bell rings and you can run out the door.

When the news goes to commercial, you sit back, keeping your arm behind Melissa’s shoulders. The warmth radiating off of her has your mind begging for you to shift your arm just a touch closer, to wrap your arm around her, but so far playing it safe has been working in gaining her trust. She can’t help it, green eyes falling onto you as she tries to decipher your move, hoping to catch something in your eyes that tells her what this was between you. All she gets is a little smirk that is half-hidden by a sip of coffee from an orange mug.

Melissa catches on quickly to your happier mood, finding the joy you exuded, that seemingly came from nowhere, to be adorable. She can’t even believe that word dared to enter her vocabulary. Your typical flirty remarks don’t make an appearance, just a serene smile on your face and a wink to Melissa when you catch her eyes scanning over your face. 

As the last kids get into their dad’s truck, you find yourself practically skipping back to your room to quickly gather your things. With the speed in which you move and the utter state of focus you are in, you don’t notice Melissa’s little smile as she sees you move with obvious excitement as you leave the building. She decidedly ignores the little thought that you may be all giddy to see someone else, and maybe she will continue to ignore it with a glass of Merlot.

Marty at the front desk of M&J’s Storage Company gives you a tightlipped smile and a curt nod as you drive past, having gotten used to you stopping by periodically over the winter. Pulling up in front of unit seventy makes your heart race, the second most beautiful thing in the world sat behind that navy metal door. The old lock takes a few tugs to loosen its hold, finally allowing you to release the latch and lift the door.

“Well, hello again,” you mumble as you pull back the cover, eyes scanning over metal. It hadn’t been long since your last little maintenance visit, meaning all you had to do was drive home and get her shined up.

After stopping at the gas station on the way home to fill the tank, you finally park and nearly eat pavement as you jump out of the car. It takes extra effort without the help you usually get from your brother to lower the bike off the trailer, but you manage, though it leaves your arms shaking while you remove the cover again.

Polish turns the piping from grey to silver, the dust off the body goes back to its original tan, and the blue on the design is restored to its proper glory. Despite checking once a month or so, you cross your fingers as you start the engine, hoping that all your hardwork will pay off and nothing will go wrong. The engine does a chg-chg-chg before it turns over and the motorcycle comes to life.

“Yes!” you exclaim, jumping in the air slightly with sheer amount of excitement running through your veins. You let the bike run for a little bit as you take photos to send to your brothers as proof you could, in fact, get it off the trailer without them. 

All you can think about for the next couple hours before bed is the feeling of your riding jacket and the wind blowing against it.

—☽—

The sky is still dark when you open your eyes the next morning, impatience waking before you before your alarm. Once you’ve gained your bearings, you get up and are getting ready as fast as you possibly can. It’s impossible to sit still, you’re almost dancing in place as you brush your teeth and can’t stop yourself from skipping to the closet by the front door. Shoved in the back, next to your sandals, was a pair of black, leather, steel toe boots. After saving every penny your senior year of college, you bought them as a graduation gift for yourself, and you’ll wear them until you can feel the ground through the soles.

Once you had to turn around due to forgetting it from sheer enthusiasm, you borderline ran down the stairs to your garage space. With the garage door open, the warm air creeping in from the outside is invigorating, and the lack of wind for the first time in two weeks gives you hope that your face won’t freeze off on the ride to Abbott. The biggest pain is getting your backpack to sit comfortably over your slightly bulky riding jacket, covered in patches from states and towns you’d visited over the years.

The second the bike begins to move, it feels like all of your problems have disappeared behind you. The low rumbling and revving drives others crazy, but it feels like the calming presence around you. If only the cops around weren’t such sticklers, or you’d have left your helmet off for the fifteen minutes drive. The wind on your face is better than caffeine, but your eyes water so badly, you can’t have anyone thinking you were sobbing on your way to work. That’s a Monday activity, not Thursday.

From the speed in which you got ready to get on your bike, you’re the second person in, Janine always being first. You refrain from sitting by the TV once you’re in the lounge, just leaning against the counter and sipping your coffee until the object of your affection arrives. Gregory and Jacob come in together, talking about the next round of plants for the garden. When Barbara comes in, you can see that she’s holding in laughter, a fast-talking Melissa behind her.

“How are you not freaking out, Barb? That bike is beautiful, and it’s at Abbott, Abbott, of all places,” she almost yells, her hands waving around with disbelief in her friend’s relative disinterest.

“It’s a bicycle, Melissa.”

“Motorcycle, it’s a motorcycle. It doesn’t have a basket and ribbons, unlike yours,” Melissa mumbles that last part, but Barbara stills catches it and gives a gentle smack to her friend’s arm, despite laughing herself. You can’t lie, knowing that Melissa is fascinated by the bike, you want to speak up about it now, but instead, you stay quiet.

The spot next to her by the TV stays vacant, practically having an RSVP with your name on it. When you plop next to her, she peeks at you from the corner of her eye, and she does it a few times again during the commute report. You catch her the fifth time, raising your brows in question to not gain the others’ attention, but she just gives you a shake of the head. She turns back to the TV, but you’re persistent, propping your arm behind you like you’d done yesterday, and poking her shoulder.

Her head whips away from you, and seeing that it was your hand over her shoulder, she turns back to you with a playful scowl.

“What?” she asks with a softer tone than you had expected.

You lean in just a touch to keep your words between the two of you, “you were staring. Was just making sure you’re okay.”

God, you could survive solely off the way her eyes shine, how wide they open at your earnest. Neither of you realize the time between your words and the answer that has yet to come, just looking at each other as a tiny smile plays on your lips. It takes the internal will of ten thousand men to not jump at her emerald eyes dropping briefly to your lips.

“Right… Sure you’re not just flirting? Like a little kid annoying their crush?” she jokes, partially to save her from embarrassment, partially to hide the racing of her heart from your attention.

“Could be. But at least I’m not the one avoiding the question,” you joke back, and when she doesn’t answer again, you push, “nothing to say about that, beautiful?” Her eyes go to her lap as she shakes her head, another poor attempt to hide the clear effect you have on her. For now, you’ll just ignore the feeling of her leaning slightly closer to you and try to still your rapid heartbeat.

—☽—

In a desperate attempt to see who owns this magnificent bike, Melissa stays in the parking lot, loitering by fiddling with her purse to not raise suspicion. She immediately ignores Gregory and Mr. Morton, knowing they’re too stiff to ever consider getting on a motorcycle, let alone this one. As she sits there on her phone, after fifteen minutes of waiting, a familiar hum starts up and the bike is moving out of the lot.

That jacket. Patches cover nearly all visible space, even a little Eagles one next to a custom Abbott patch. Even with the helmet obscuring your face, without the jacket, she’d know you anywhere. Immediately, she starts to move, putting her car in drive as she pulls out of the lot the same way you did, conveniently the same direction she needed to go.

With a stroke of luck, she pulls into a lane next to you at a busy red light, rolling down her passenger side window, “aye! Why did you say shit about you having the bike?”

You push up your visor, yelling over the motor and traffic, “air of mystery!”

“Bullshit!”

“Guessing you want a ride, huh, gorgeous?” You can’t even contain your grin as you watch her eyes widen, flicking to the red light that has still yet to turn. Little do you know her mind is screaming and your cocky little smile isn’t helping one bit.

She swallows the lump in her throat, “follow me to my place.”

“Yes, ma’am,” you say as you flip your visor back down, glad to be able to cover your face as you smile so hard you narrowly avoid missing the light turning green. It doesn’t take long to fall into line behind Melissa, cutting into a tiny space that earns you a deserved honk from the old man behind you.

It’s less than twenty minutes before Melissa’s blinker directs you into her driveway. You walk it slowly next to her car, keeping the engine running as you take off your helmet. Melissa gets out of her car, abandoning her purse in the seat next to her, and stands nervously by the hood as she plays with her sleeves. Suddenly the thought of being one the motorcycle, pressed against your back, sounds so good she’s afraid she’ll ruin it somehow.

Your voice cuts off her brain’s nervous rambling, “I’ve only got the one helmet with me. So, you’ll wear that, and we’ll stick to the side streets.”

“No highway,” she grumbles as she steps closer.

Your nose scrunches as you laugh at her pout, “no highway and nothing over forty, cross my heart.” Holding out your pinky, she begrudgingly takes it while ignoring the butterflies in her stomach. “You’re gonna wanna tie your hair back, low bun, braid, something like that.”

“Ponytail?” she asks, pretending she doesn’t care that your pinkies are still wrapped around one another.

“Nope, it’ll just tangle. And we can’t have anything happening to that beautiful hair,” you subconsciously pull her hand closer and draw her in. Her finger tightens around yours in return. When her neighbor pulls into their driveway, their car door shutting loudly disrupts the quiet between you two, making you both pull away.

Instead of speaking of it, you both fiddle to get ready for a ride around the block or down to the corner store. Melissa faces away from you to tie her hair into a tight low bun, she takes deep breaths to calm herself from the sheer proximity to you. Behind her, you fiddle with the clasps of the helmet to fit her better.

When she turns to face you again, you motion for her to get closer and her eyes almost bulge out her head. Melissa slowly approaches you as her fingers tangle around themselves. You lift the helmet in silent question, and she nods. Carefully, trying to touch her as little as possible, you help get the helmet on without pulling her hair.

You open the visor before you adjust the chin strap, “feel good? Secure?”

“It’s comfier than I thought,” her voice comes out slightly muffled by the guard in front of her lips. Melissa prays you can’t hear her fast breaths, completely overwhelmed by your scent surrounding her.

“Good,” you smile, “I’ll back her up onto the street, then you can hop on.”

Once you’ve got the kickstand down so it’s as stable as possible for her to get on, you offer a hand as support. Melissa slowly places her hand in yours, the squeeze she receives tells her trust me, I won’t let you get hurt. Using the footrest, she gets herself over the seat to straddle it behind you. Manicured hands flex open and close behind your back as she becomes unsure of where to put them.

“There’s handles, slightly behind you, that you can hold onto,” speaking loudly over the motor. You turn over your shoulder to meet your eyes with hers, “or, if you wanna, you can hold onto me. Whatever’s your preference.”

To save face, she rolls her eyes, “just want my hands on you, don’t you now?”

“Can’t call you a liar for that one,” you say with a smug grin, turning back to lean the bike upright and put up the kickstand. The second you start to move, Melissa’s arms go tightly around your waist, white knuckling your jacket.

Feeling her holding you was only so pleasant until you realized it was mostly from fear. Before taking off slowly, you pat her hand where it rests on your abdomen. It only grips tighter in return. Taking your foot off the ground and beginning to move, feeling more careful in every move you make as to not make Melissa more nervous than she was. It was surprising really, that Melissa Schemmenti of all people was nervous on a motorcycle.

Her grip starts to loosen after the third or fourth turn, but her arms don’t move. Melissa almost rests her head against your back, but decides against it in a sudden judgment. When the moment comes where she feels comfortable, she releases one arm from her hold on you to push the visor back up to have an unobstructed view of the Philly streets and your reflection in the mirrors.

When you finally slow down, it’s six blocks over at her favorite corner store, they’ve got the best hoagie options. She uses your shoulders and the hand you placed out for her to get down from the bike, legs numb from the vibrations of the bike and motor against her thighs. You’re quick to get off, helping her get the helmet off and fixing the little strands of hair that stick up from static. Neither of you mention Melissa’s rosy cheeks or your lingering caress along her bangs.

The small shop leaves little room to roam about, and you stay closely pressed to Melissa’s back as you maneuver to the counter to order food to bring back to her house. With the warmth radiating off of you, she now understands how you felt the whole ride. She knows how you feel about her, it’s a mirror of the ache in her chest for you, and feeling you against her has her heart pounding in time with yours.

From around her waist, comes your arm, offering the cashier a twenty dollar bill. Your other hand rests against Melissa’s hip, holding your wallet open for the change. This has to be some sort of revenge for holding you, she thinks to herself.

As you slowly pull into her driveway, there’s an air of unsureness around the two of you. Stepping off the bike again, you fiddle with your fingers, not wanting to invite yourself into her home. Melissa tugs at the ends of her sleeves as she plans her next words.

“Do you wanna come in, have a beer with those hoagies?” Melissa offers with a hopeful tone.

You smile as you grab the helmet from you, clipping over the little strap on the seat. She takes the hint and walks towards the door with you closely behind her. Inside, without the jacket and boots on, Melissa thinks you look soft. Everything about you is so careful with her, even when you wear worn leather with chains, this dressed down version matches the treatment she always receives.

Sitting across from her at the island, you answer all her questions about how you got the bike, how you maintain it, how you learned all the tricks to keep it running.

“Seriously, that thing’s how old and still going that strong?” she asks through a mouthful of capicola.

“It’s thirty now, it’s a 1992. Harleys are just built to last longer than the actual biker at this point, especially the older models,” you take a swig of beer, “the Daytona was too good to pass up. I got it so cheap and the guy barely had miles on it.”

Melissa perks up, “how much?”

“Thirty-five hundred. Stupid cheap, he could’ve easily gotten ten.”

She smirks, “and you just let him trick himself out of the money?”

“Duh,” you say. There’s a beat of silence before you both start to laugh, leaning into one another over the table.

—☽—

The sun set some time between finishing the hoagies and the third episode of The Real Housewives she roped you into watching. She claimed it was only fair considering she willingly got on the motorcycle. What had started with you two on different cushions quickly became you being pressed against each other, your arm taking residence behind her, but never touching her as you always kept it.

In a strange moment of bravado, Melissa leans against the back cushion and your arm dips into the slope, falling gently around your shoulders. You purse your lips in an attempt to keep a straight face, adjusting your arm to have your hand rest on her shoulder. It doesn’t take long before your fingers begin to draw nonsensical patterns over her shirt. Time passes, episodes go on, and Melissa’s weight starts to fall more into you. Every passing second you become more aware that you don’t want to leave this position as long as you live.

The screen turns black, Are you still watching? appears across it, behind the words, a reflection of the two of you. Your gaze dips down, immediately meeting Melissa’s looking up at you. Green eyes flick to your lips, and for the first time, you know for a fact that you are not imagining it. Her tongue pokes out to wet her lips, capturing your attention. Eyes meet and it’s so quick, neither of you can tell who starts it.

Melissa’s lips taste like light beer and strawberry chapstick, and her tongue is dominating and soft. Her hands grip tightly at the base of your neck, keeping you close to her like you would disappear if your lips left hers. Your hands take residence on her waist, like they had hours ago, and the warmth of her skin under her shirt is screaming your name, begging to be touched.

Tongues clash against one another, sticky lips clumsy as air becomes a necessity. Barely taking your lips off her skin, you trail downwards to her jaw, placing wet kisses along it. The hands on her waist push up and make their way beneath her shirt, gently squeezing her warm, supple body. The feeling of your soft hands holding her makes Melissa groan, tugging you back to her wanting lips.

All she’s wanted since the moment she met you, to hold you, kiss you, touch you, it’s all happening and she can barely find it in her to stop. She never wants it to. With your teeth tugging at her bottom lip, a borderline moan escapes her, and she feels you smile against her mouth and it’s all she can think about. Melissa is completely putty in your hands.

Without breaking the distance between you, you pull away from her lips slowly. Heaving breaths escape both of you, lips swollen and pupils dilated from lust. Melissa’s hand traces from the back of your neck to the chain of your necklace dangling in front of her, looping it around her finger to pull you in closer. Your lips graze over hers, but her words fill the space before they can touch.

“What if I asked you to take me upstairs?”

Your thumb brushes over her ribs, “then I would.”

The door handle almost puts a hole in the wall with the way Melissa shoves it open behind her as you walk her backwards towards her room. Her hands drop from your face to the hem of her shirt, beginning to pull it up before your hands take over. As you step away to throw her shirt off to the side, your eyes drop and a soft look comes over your features.

Stepping into her space again, your fingers trace over her skin, “you’re so beautiful.” It’s barely above a whisper, she barely hears it, barely even sure you’re aware you’ve said it.

Melissa’s only response is to kiss you again, pulling you towards her bed until she topples onto it, taking you with her. Your thighs straddle her as you tug off your own shirt, bending down to continue ravishing her. You kiss down from her lips, to her jaw, to the dip at the base of her neck, then trace your tongue back up. Cold hands grab yours, pulling them down to the button of her jeans.

“Are you sure?” you ask from above her, free hand pushing baby hairs from her blushing face. She only nods, not trusting her words. You shake your head lightly, a little smile on your lips, “I’m gonna need a real answer, lovely.”

Lovely, that’s a new one. She feels her face warm under your gaze, arousal pooling. With the strength she can muster, she utters, “please.”

Without a moment to spare, your lips are on hers again, hand at her waist moving to unbutton her pants. As you help push them down, your hand passes her panties, the dark patch of wetness calling to you. It only invigorates you as you let go of her lips, kissing down to her chest. Arching forward, she makes space for your wandering hands to slip behind and unclasp her bra.

A breathless mumble of God leaves your lips, before soft kisses are pressed to her sternum, skim over to her breast. You kiss her skin with a reverence she’s never felt, teeth graze over her hardened nipple before your lips wrap around it, tongue swirling. The unattended breast begs for attention that is quickly given by your hand, rolling the bud between your fingers.

The warm hand at her waist grips down to her thigh, pushing her legs open to make space for you to lie. Your mouth and hand switch, equal, worship-like attention given to each breast. Melissa’s quiet, hidden moans become louder, hips shifting for pressure against yours. Taking the hint, your lips travel lower, licking over her abdomen and gently biting when she tugs at your hair.

One hand wraps around her thigh, the other keeps her in place as a weight against her stomach. Pressing wet kisses to her thigh, you look at her for permission to continue. The image of you between her legs, lips on her wet thighs, eyes shining with want, all she can manage is bucking her hips towards you, a whine escaping her lips.

One last kiss is placed against plush skin, Melissa’s hand tangles with yours, interlocking fingers feeling like they belong there. Your warm, wet tongue glides over her slit, up and down in slow figure-eights, her little gasps only egging you on. Flattening your tongue, you press harder against her, tasting her more fully, groaning against her in satifaction. It makes sense why Eve would so easily give everything for a mere taste of the forbidden fruit. Sweet and warm, divine heaven on your lips.

Melissa hips buck into your face, begging for more and you are more than willing to give. You lick up to her clit, the pearl demanding attention from you. Small, circular motions with your tongue make Melissa groan, slapping a hand over her mouth as she gets closer and closer to her peak.

You lift away from clit, much to her dismay, “don’t do that.” The hand on her stomach moves to pull her hand away from her mouth, “I want to hear you… please.”

Her hand drops to the sheets beside her, and your mouth is back on her. Sucking harder against her, your hand slides down her abdomen and positions in front of her blooming lips. Your middle finger presses into her slick walls, forcing a moan from both of you. With a few gentle pushes and pulls, you slowly ease in your ring finger, making her clench tightly.

Red nails dig into your hair, tugging as Melissa writhes above you. Husky moans and whines fill the room, pleas of faster and yes, yes are burned into your mind, a melody you won’t dare forget.

You pull off of her clit to take a breath and speak, “can you take more, baby?”

“Please,” she says through pants. The hand in your hair tug you up to her lips, “please.” Her desperate grasp is not willing to let you go, claw-like nails digging into your back.

Lips dancing as you shift your hand to put your thumb to her clit, lining your forefinger to her pussy. Melissa’s jaw drops as the third finger stretches her more, the moan that rips through her is felt by your lips on her neck. You keep a steady rhythm of circling her clit and pumping your fingers into her. Her moans turn to pitched whines, walls hugging your fingers, she was so close. You kiss down her neck, sucking little marks that will fade by morning, taking your time on her breasts and lower stomach. Reaching her clit again, suck it into your mouth as you speed your fingers’ pace.

Frantic hips begin to still, a whine leaving her plump lips as she cums around your fingers. Your attention leaves her clit to travel down her lips as you slowly pump your fingers, removing one by one as she comes down. Shaking thighs relax against the bed as you clean her with your tongue, nectar of the goddess being all the reward you need. She pulls lightly at your hand on her thigh, begging for your lips on hers.

Pressing a final kiss to her pearl, then thigh, you capture her lips in a slow kiss, soft and full of the love that had been hiding under every interaction since you’d first met. When you pull away, you bring your fingers to her lips to give her a proper taste of herself. Accepting the offer, her tongue swirls around the digits. You internally scold yourself for being jealous of your own hand, even the string of saliva that connects her heavenly mouth to your fingers.

You shift to cup her cheek, admiring her droopy eyes and blushing cheeks, the sheen of sweat over her forehead. Her own hand mirrors your movement, pulling you down to press a kiss to the corner of your lips.

“You are so- too good at that,” she mumbles against your cheek, feeling the vibration of your laugh.

You press a kiss to her cheek before flopping next to her, “you, you taste too good.”

Her hand comes to cover her face, but you’re quick to catch it, bringing it closer to kiss the back. Melissa chuckles as you nibble on the knuckle of her pinkie, but she frowns as you roll off the bed. Emerald eyes follow you to the ensuite bathroom, and back as you go back between her legs with a warm washcloth. The featherlike touch and soft kisses to her skin only further the blush on her cheeks.

After discarding the rag and tugging off your jeans, you lay down next to her on your side, eyes scanning over her face. Her head turns to you, enjoying the quiet between you, even more so when your pointer finger traces her features and takes special attention to her lips. Lipstick smudged around her chin, surely on your face as well, and messy eyeliner, she’s never been quite so beautiful.

The gentle ministrations and loving attention make Melissa’s eyes grow heavy, sleep grasping at her despite the fight to stay in your presence. Feeling her relaxing into you, you shift to lay on your back, arm out inviting her into your embrace. Lazily rolling into you, her face tucks into your neck, hand searching for yours.

You tangle your fingers together and whisper into the air, “I think it goes without saying, but I’m stupid in love with you. Everything about you. Just thought you should know.”

“Good thing,” she says through a yawn as she shifts more into you, “because I’m stupid in love with you, too.” 

You press a kiss into her hair, “go to sleep, pretty girl. I’ll be here in the morning, if you want.”

“Of course I want,” it’s barely audible, but you can tell she means it.

The scent of sex, sweat, and eucalyptus body wash radiates from her, underneath it all is a smell that’s so uniquely Melissa that you can feel yourself sinking into the mattress. It feels easy, being with her, it makes sense. You find yourself staring at the ceiling, you recount every time you should have spoken up about your feelings. Surely there could have been a time, but none seem to come to mind. It only makes sense that this is how it was supposed to happen. In her bed, on this day, with the taste of lager on her tongue, you were meant to find your way together.

title from beauty school by deftones

one day i’ll write a shorter fic like i planned in my head

feedback appreciated as always <3

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #lisa ann walter #abbott elementary #lgbtq fanfiction #lgbtq #lesbian

[dckweed]

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, gator tillman

in which gator tillman and his arranged bride figure out life and each other and what a real relationship means to them.

warnings: mentions and depictions of abuse, mentions of bruises, arranged marriages, romance, humor, dead parents, slow burn relationship (not completely but not not), basically we know the tillman men are asswipes so i 100% see Roy forcing gator into this kind of situation for money for his militia, eventual smut with kinks such as thigh riding, gun play, choking, spanking, lots of marking and possible spit play.

series masterlist here, series playlist here.

special mention to my girly @xxbookdrunkdemigodxx for listening to my rambles and helping me out with the playlist!

PART TWO: the ride

True to his word, Gator had become your friend. The first couple days of the week passed with the two of you holed up in the house together, pretending to work on the wedding planning even though neither of you knew what the hell you were doing. You kept to the upstairs living room, wanting to stay as far away from Boyd as you possibly could, still angry at him for the whole situation and not wanting to cross paths with him again for as long as you could, your stomach still hurting under the fabric of your shirt from the lashing you had been given from Boyd’s belt as soon as the Tillman’s had left the morning of their first visit. Three times he had hit you, the leather of the belt welting your skin through the thin fabric of the dress you had been wearing. That was typical Boyd, always harsh and quick, and always on parts of your body that were easily hidden by clothes. It had been that way since your mother had married him, though you had kept it a secret from her due to the fear he had built in your brain about what he would do to her if you told her. You didn’t dare tell Gator either, not sure if you really trusted him with that secret quite yet, and definitely not sure of what would happen if Boyd found out. You didn’t want anymore drama than there already was in this god forsaken house. 

You liked Gator well enough, he was easy conversation, a little dense in some areas but what he lacked in that he made up for in humor and the willingness to at least listen to you explain. The two of you talked about plenty of things but mostly school and whether or not either of you had been seeing anyone before you had been forced into your godawful situation. You weren’t sure if you were reading his face right, but for some reason you thought that he looked rather pleased when you said that you hadn’t ever exclusively dated anyone, strictly forbidden by Boyd. You learned that he had only ever had one serious girlfriend in his life, in the last years of highschool, though she had taken off to some fancy school on the east coast when they had graduated and he never heard from her again. You could see the swirl of emotions in his big brown eyes, and the way his mouth tensed as he spoke. He shook his head and changed the topic a moment later, picking up one of the magazines laid out on the ornate coffee table in front of the two you and asking what the hell the difference between Ivory and White was and why did it matter so much which shade your dress was. 

Those first two days were rather pleasant, you found yourself awfully comfortable in his presence, relaxed even, and the next day when he didn’t show up just after breakfast, you had to admit you were a little disappointed, but you got about your business none the less, trying not to dwell on it. He’s a Sheriff’s Deputy, you reminded yourself, he wont have time to talk to you twenty four seven..and then you kicked yourself for even feeling upset about not having his attention for the day. You’d known him for four whole days, what the hell was wrong with you? 

He texted you around lunch time. 

Gator: sorry for not being able to help today, even though i know im not much help to begin with..i’m on duty for 24hrs

You were slightly giddy and that made you slightly disgusted with yourself, you barely knew this dude and you were being essentially coerced into marrying him, what the hell is wrong with you?

You: you wont miss much, promise! Be safe out there..

You felt like that was the stupidest response you could have possibly sent, but oh well. You weren’t wrong though, he wouldn’t miss much. The day was mostly spent in the upstairs living room, sprawled on the couch as you called the bakery in town to schedule a tasting for next weekend, and the local bridal boutique to schedule a showing for this weekend..afterwards you spent the next few hours sorting through different styles of wedding dresses you thought you would like, sparing no expense on designers because if you were being forced to do this damn thing, then Boyd was certainly going to pay the fucking price one way or another. And then after you had spent as long as you could doing that, you begrudgingly made your way down the stairs, you had dragged your feet long enough on the girls’ dresses for the wedding, and if you picked them out without their fathers input, you feared you would face another lashing. 

You hesitated outside of his office door, taking a deep breath before raising your fist, knocking once, twice, before he gave you the okay to come in. He’s seated at his annoyingly large desk and just barely glances up at you from whatever paperwork he’s doing as you step into the room, closing the door behind you like he liked. “Ah, i was just about to send for you,” He says, setting down his pen as you step closer and closer to his desk, your magazines heavy in your hands. “Sheriff Tillman has requested that the ride with you be moved up to tomorrow morning, his wife has to go out of town this weekend and he’s decided to go with her.” You hum in acknowledgement and he notices your laden arms. “Whatever do you have there?” 

How could he speak to you so calmly? As if you weren’t sporting the markings of his rage on your skin? “I’m going to the bridal boutique this weekend, and I want to get the girls' dresses while I'm there, I thought maybe you’d like to help pick them out..” You say gingerly, he seemed to be in a good mood but you could never be too sure with him. 

He nods once, pushing whatever he was working on to the side. “Alright, let's see it.” 

You give a small smile, slightly relieved as you start setting some of the magazines in front of him. “These are some that I liked, but there’s a few more that I wasn’t sure about. Gator and I decided on a purple and green theme, pastel, summer colors..” You prattel nervously, leaning over to show him the styles that you particularly thought were pretty. He hums, glancing up at you over the rim of his glasses as you settle the magazines in front of them. 

“And how are things going with the boy?” He asks, inspecting the pages you had dog eared. 

You were rather taken aback by the question, you hadn’t really known him long enough to know how things were going, let alone marry the poor dude, but yet, here you were, planning a wedding. “They’re okay..he’s funny..” You shrug, not quite sure how to proceed. “He’s working today, but he was here the past couple of days to help..” You weren’t sure why you were telling the man, it's not like he didn’t already know who came and went in his house. 

Boyd hums and the office falls silent for nearly an hour. You’re about to excuse yourself, let him look at them alone so you can get the hell out of there and go eat some lunch or tack up Bubbles for a ride when he speaks up. “I like these ones best, i’m sure the girls will look lovely..” He says, handing you one of the first magazines you had handed him. You have a quiet breath of relief, but roll your eyes subconsciously, annoyed that he had taken that long. You start grabbing things as quickly as you can, itching to get away from him. “I’ll open up the limit on your credit card, spare no expense.” Are the last words he says, you hum in response and walk out of the office quickly, leaning against the door as you close it behind you. 

You’re up before the sun the following morning, your alarm clock bleating around four. You were awake well before it though, your thoughts on a never ending loop. You honestly weren’t even sure if you slept and sighed in annoyance when you trudged your way to your bathroom and noticed the dark bags under your eyes. How were you supposed to sleep? Your life was about to be tethered to someone else’s in a few short weeks, two months wasn’t that much time and you didn’t know this boy for shit. Sure, you guys were on friendly terms at the very least but..marriage? Why had you signed those damned papers? Why did you let him talk you into it? 

Shaking the thought from your head you turn the handle on your sink, letting the water run as you went about your skincare business. You’re dressed in less than half an hour, spending a few minutes at your vanity table to swipe some makeup under your eyes, an old habit you had picked up when you lived here full time before boarding school. You figured it wouldn’t take long before the sleepless nights would start again, and you couldn’t help but to wonder if they would be any better when you were with Gator. 

Gator..

He had never texted you again yesterday, though you had sent him a few messages throughout the day, and even late in the night just to keep your own sanity. Telling him how much Boyd irritated you, telling him that he needed the next weekend free for cake tasting because you didn’t want to choose something he didn’t like, telling him you were bored..sending him a pouty faced selfie when you noticed he had opened but not responded to any of your messages (that he had also opened and never responded to). 

You realized your fiance was a horrible texter and you were going to have to fix that, if you were going to be friends then he needed to at least respond to one of your messages, even if they were annoying. 

By four-forty-five you’ve pulled out of the driveway and are off down the main entrance of Boyd’s ranch, your jeep pulling the horse trailer with Bubbles inside of it with ease. Thankfully one of the ranch hands had woken up earlier than you (he had always been friendly towards you, and it was deeply appreciated because most of Boyds employees treated you like shit too) and attached the trailer to your car and loaded up your horde for you. You even found your saddle and other things in the back of the Jeep when you peeked in to look, surprised that your horse had even been loaded for you. 

You made a mental note to thank the man when you got home. 

The drive to the Tillman Ranch isn’t too long, hell, they were practically your fucking neighbors. You were so focused on survival when you were on the ranch that you had never paid attention to lands that surrounded you. When you arrive at the gate, your headlights shining on the metal and the dirt beyond it, two ranch hands are already there, pulling open the heavy iron for you. 

“Thank you!” You half shout, rolling down your window. The one on your drivers side nods once, tipping his hat at you and proceeds to tell you to follow the road towards the house and barn, he would be right behind you to help you unload. You’re surprised when the Sheriff is already waiting for you when you pull up near the barn. You see him on the porch of his house, arms crossed over his chest and hat perched low on his head and your stomach tightens, your hands shake. If you’re late and he tells Boyd, you’re done for, is all you can think as you slide your key out of the ignition and hop down from your seat, your boots kicking up dust.  

“Mornin’ Miss Augastine!” His voice carries out from the porch, the sun is only just now starting to rise, a dark glow low in the horizon. You breathe in and walk around your car, up to the porch. “Wasn’t expecting you for another hour or so..” You breathe out. “Interest you in some coffee? Breakfast? Karen just put away my breakfast but I’m sure she’d be more than happy to get something going for you.” 

You paint the smile on your face, your morning having been ruined by your brief panic attack. “No, Sir..thank you for the offer, but I was thinking I would go get breakfast with Gator this morning, or an early lunch..” You knew he was probably on his way home by now, and you had the sense that he would probably only sleep for a few hours. 

He hums as he meets you at the foot of the porch, staring down at you from the bottom step. Your cheeks flush and you look anywhere but at him as his eyes rake over your body. You hear him mutter something akin to ‘pretty little thing’ under his breath, but you knew you weren’t supposed to hear it so you pretend not to. You were dressed for a casual ride, blue jeans that fit tight in all the right places but loose on your legs, draped over your brown and pink leather boots, and you wore a pink short sleeved polo shirt, the buttons undone enough to show just the hint of cleavage that was sexy enough to keep men entertained but innocent enough to not get you in trouble. You had your own cowboy hat pulled down over your hair, resting comfortably on your head. 

“He’s not home yet.” Is all he says when you mention his son, his tone cool and slightly unfriendly. You furrow your brow, wondering why there was the sudden change in demeanor when it came to his boy. “That your show horse?” He steps down off the porch, and you look up to him still, the man being much taller than you even on even ground. 

“She’s for more than just show, Sir..” You say playfully, a smile on your face as you happily lead him over to the trailer. He helps you lead her out of the trailer, admiring her with you and then leads you on a slow walk to the barn. 

He seems kind, but you know its more for show than anything. You soak it up though, letting him open the barn doors for you even though you’re more than capable of doing it yourself, and you let him lead you into a stall near the back of the barn so you can leave Bubbles and go get the rest of your stuff to tack up. After a few more minutes of talking the two of you separate, you going off to your jeep, and he going off towards his horse to tack up. 

As you step out of the barn the sun has risen just a little bit more, and you hear a car pulling up next to yours. “What are you doin’ here?” His voice holds a tinge of familiar nervousness to it, and you can’t help but to soften up for it. He’d gotten out of his squad car before he’d even turned the damn thing off, the radio still on. Your breath caught as your eyes took in his uniform, he sure is somethin to fuckin’ look at, you said to yourself, swallowing back wicked thoughts. “Thought you weren’t doin’ this til the weekend?” 

“Plans changed.” You shrug, not really sure what else to say. You figured he of all people would have known that his dad was going out of town this weekend. “He’s in the barn.” Brown eyes dart behind you and then back to you, looking you over. “Want to go get lunch or somethin’ later?” 

He sighs, running  a hand down his face, shoulders relaxing. “Yeah..yeah lets get lunch later..”He says, turning on his heel. You shake your head, going to grab your saddle out of your car, just as you’re stepping around the front of it you hear him again. “I got it, Pearlie..” You sigh, but not from annoyance as he lifts it out of your grasp. You liked the way your name sounded when he said it, like it meant something and nothing all at the same time. You shake your head, feeling silly for the thought and follow him. 

Roy is headed out of the other side of the barn just as you follow Gator in. “Mornin’ dad.” He says, voice a hard and cold tone. 

The older man already mounted in his saddle merely tips his hat at his son, but gives you a friendly smile. “Miss Pearl, I’ll be outside when you’re ready.” He says as if there’s no rush, but you know from his sons body language that there most likely is. 

Gator’s shoulders are tense and you know it’s not from the weight of the heavy leather saddle he’s carrying. You rush in front of him to open the stall door, trying to be helpful, and you can see the pinched look on his face, the coldness in his big brown eyes. He lifts the saddle up and sets over Bubbles, who stands perfectly for him. He turns his hat backwards and you just about melt into the hay strewn floor, who knew that stupid things like a man you’re engaged to turning his hat backwards could be so damn hot? He doesn’t say a word as he starts fastening the gear in place, like he’s done it a thousand times before. 

It only hits you just then that he probably has done it a thousand times before, his father clearly loved the animals, why wouldn’t he teach his son how to tack up and mount? 

“You didn’t have to do that for me, Gator..” You say softly as he finishes. He only shrugs and straightens up, patting Bubbles on the belly gently as he does. “Thank you..” You whisper as you walk past him, grabbing the horn of her saddle so you could pull yourself up. 

Just as you’re about to put a boot in the stirrups you feel his chest against your back, the smell of whatever it is he smokes encompassing you as he grabs your hips firmly and lifts with ease. “Good?” He asks, watching you settle into the saddle. You nod once, hoping your hair and hat are doing a good enough job of hiding the flush on your cheeks and neck, not having expected such a display of obvious strength. “Good..off you go then..” He holds the stall open for you and you ease Bubbles out of it, just as you start to walk past him you feel his hand on your calf. He’s looking up at you with an expression you’re not familiar with on his face, and it makes you worry. “Be careful with him.” It comes out as more of a statement, but you can hear the pleading behind it, and it makes you worry even more, a slurry of questions forming in your mind. “..please?” 

“Okay..” You say. He lets you go and you don’t question farther, spurring Bubbles to follow out the way you had seen Roy going with his own horse. “Hey Gator?” You look over your shoulder at him, he has his hands on his hips. “Go take a nap the bags under your eyes are bigger than the ones in my closet!” You laugh as you leave him behind you, and you swear you can hear him chuckling too. 

The ride starts off in silence, you and Roy side by side as he took you on the scenic route through the ranch. You had to say that you really didn’t know much about the Tillman’s, you wouldn’t know how to start off the conversation even if you had wanted to, and you truly didn’t want to, not with Gator’s pleading words lingering in the back of your mind. 

The ranch really is beautiful, especially in the early starts of the summer, the rolling hills are green, and you can see where they have more cattle off in the distance. It’s a calming atmosphere, more relaxed than life was on the Augastine ranch. 

“How’s my son been?” His voice is deep and rough, startles you for a moment. You turn to look at him, adjusting your hat in the glare of the sun. “He bein’ nice?” Nice didn’t sound like a word that was normally in Sheriff Tillman’s vocabulary, you wanted to point it out, the smart mouthed bitch in you raring at the thought but you thought of what Gator had said, and then you thought of Boyd and your still aching ribs and thought better of it. 

“He’s been sweet.” You say, offering a small smile, the warmth of the sun hitting the skin of your face. “Real helpful with the wedding plans..he’s taking me to lunch after this too..” You say, rambling nervously. “Oh, before I forget, did he ever ask you about the twins being in the wedding?” 

Roy shakes his head at you, pursing his lips. “I don’t recall a conversation..Karen would have mentioned it to me i’m sure..” You notice his hands tighten on his reins and you furrow your brows at it. 

“Oh, he probably just forgot is all.” You chuckle, wanting it to stay light hearted. Truly, you had never even asked him to ask anything about the girls and you hoped you weren’t about to get him in trouble because of your small fib..you just wanted to change the topic to something more neutral. “I’m going to the bridal shop this weekend to look for my dress, and I already have dresses picked out for my sisters but I was wondering if you’d like me to pick out dresses for the twins as well? I would absolutely love to have them in the ceremony..they could be my flower girls, or hold my train…” Your sisters were already taking the spots as your bridesmaids, you didn’t have a choice in that matter. Gator had three of his best friends stepping in as groomsmen and you only had one friend coming to the wedding, and she was going to be your maid of honor. 

“I think that’s a lovely idea, Miss Pearl.” He says and for a moment, everything is silent again as he hums a tune you’re not familiar. “Matter of fact..” You glance over at him again. “Karen and I are leaving to go out of town tonight, we’ll be gone through the weekend..we were planning to take the girls with us, but I’m wondering if you want to take them with to the Bridal shop if you want them fitted for dresses? Karen and I would love the alone time, of course if you wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on them with Gator for the weekend?” You wanted to protest, but, you realized that it was probably a good excuse to get yourself out of Boyd’s house for a few days, and just the thought sounded heavenly, even if it meant carting around your fiance’s sisters and playing house with him. 

“You know what, Sheriff Tillman,” You say, giving him your dazzling, people pleasing smile, the kind that had man many a guy weak in the knees back at boarding school. “That sounds like a fantastic weekend, i’d love to get to know my new little sisters better, you and Karen go have fun on your little trip! Me and Gator can handle things!” 

He gives you an easy smile in return. “Well alright then.” He says, and then nudges you with his knee from his horse. “And please, little lady, call me Roy.” He gives you a wink that sends unpleasant shivers down your spine and you giggle politely in return. 

taglist: @ruth-barnes @justherebecausesafarisucks @daisy-is-a-writer @xxbookdrunkdemigodxx @girlwiththerubyslippers @keerygal @lilllbabyyy @boa-hemian @sweetdazequeen @emilyj444 @whisperingwillowxox @babyqnn @lou-la-lou @aestheticaltcow @finalmoondragon @boxofsmittens @pollyspocketdimension @kassy-munson @frostandflamesfanfic @mysticalstar30 @totally-bogus-timelady @nerdypinupcrystal @emmiecrush5-blog @witchcovenboys @starksbabie @marrowfrog00 @boop369 @lelenikki

#joe keery #jon hamm #sheriff roy tillman #gator tillman #gator tillman fic #gator tillman x reader #gator tillman smut #gator tillman fanfic #fargo season 5 #fargo s5 #gator tillman fanfiction #gator tillman x you

[queenofallimagines]

Can you do Blue Lock Sae x female reader x Rin? The brothers are fighting for her love.

A/N: I SURE THE FUCK CAN!! The itoshi effect is hating them both and then post backstory explanation coming to like them both a lot😔

TAGLIST: @priv-rose

Sae & Rin itoshi:

- okay so boom

- Had another OC though of being like a counselor at blue lock bc none of them boys is right in the head😭

- You have previous connections to Sae bc you were a counselor for another team he was on and his manager liked you so he would schedule private sessions

- Ended up in you leaving bc he’s so frustrating but alas fate has other plans

- You show up to the U-20 match bc DUH

- Anri doesn’t have any money to hire a manager also so you’re taking over that role

- Sorry😔

- Anyway rin comes to respect you for dragging him by his eyelashes about his trauma

- “So are we gunna start with hating yourself and thinking you’re not good enough to prove a point to your shitty brother OR are we working on your material conditions that stem from that today?”

- “…..off yourself”

- Like he can’t say shit back bc you got em!

- Comes in often enough now that he doesn’t schedule sessions he just shows up to spill the tea

- (Isagi and bachira are the same. the spies on the inside that tell you how the others are doing)

- He comes in and flops down in the chair

- “I’m not looking forward to seeing him. Why the fuck did they call HIM to help the team? His ass should have stayed in Spain!”

- “Oh I hear ya, I’m not looking forward to even making eye contact with his ass either. I’m counting on yall to win.”

- “The game-“

- “I want yall to crush him. I have my own personal beef with him.”

- “…….im not asking how.”

- You’re being restrained from jumping over the divider during the game to go swing on Sae

- Like did you see that?? THE AUDACITY

- DID NOBODY ELSE IN THE WHOLE STADIUM HEAR THAT SHIT??

- Yeah I would have swing on his ass right when the final whistle blew

- Better than me for him to get that mess out his mouth about isagi

- Would have stood up and clocked his ass

- When they’re all jumping all over each other celebrating you can feel the bad vibes coming from rin

- It’s suffocating

- You run to the locker rooms to catch him and bump into sae(accompanied by shidou)

- “……”

- Glaring at his ass

- Give him the dirtiest look ever

- And then turn to Ryusei smiling like you saw a puppy

- “Hey Ryu! Wonderful performance you put on today. You definitely stole the show.”

- Like lmao just ignore him pls

- After saving rin from going off the deep end; bc baby I’m so sorry that an ugly ass bitch would say something like that to you

- Their two week vacation starts

- Rin is surprised to see you in not work clothes chilling like a regular person

- Ends up hanging out with you a lot bc you’re the only one who he can speak freely to

- Unfortunately his brother is also back in the country

- Running into Sae while hanging out with his brother was NOT on your vacation bingo card but here we are

- “You’re here?”

- “I could really say the same to you. You haven’t gotten citizenship to stay your ass over there yet?”

- Flashback✨ y’all had a casual thing back in the day because when he’s not closed off he can be pretty fun to be around

- Then he let a white man get in his feelings and refused to talk about them and lashed out on you

- So he just kinda got these feelings and nothing to do with them

- Didn’t think he’d ever see you again to be honest so now stuff that he buried ages ago is in his face

- Can’t tell you sorry. Doesn’t know how.

- Sees you smiling and doting on rin how you used to him and can’t help but get jealous

- Makes sure to approach you when rin isn’t around

- You go to the kitchen to get water boom he’s there too now

- “Jesus Christ do you ever announce yourself?”

- “You’re in MY house”

- “Is it your house if you only show up one a year?”

- Can’t help but start arguments when he just wants to talk regularly

- Rin already picking up what his brother is trying to lay down and he’s not having it

- He’s already developed a crush on you like you CANT leave

- Gets nervous bc if your past with sae that he might snatch you up too

- Not letting his brother take something else away from him

- So all of a sudden he’s a lot more touchy with you

- Trust me inside he’s screaming and throwing up bc he’s never done this before but he will try

- You can feel his stiff ass hand around your waist😭

- Poor baby

- The silent itoshi beef isn’t missed by you but you don’t know that they’re competing off the pitch too

- “You sure you don’t want to go do something? Like we watched horror movies in your room all day yesterday, I had errands to run-“

- “Well I wanted to start the final destination franchise so you gotta watch all 5 of them there’s a new one coming out”

- “Yeah in 2025! That’s like 3 years away!”

- “Shhhh, the movie starting🙄”

- Hoards you all to himself in his room because you’re surrounded by HIM and less chances for Sae to sneak up on you in public and steal you away or join your date outing together

- Thinks you look cute wrapped in his blankets and tries not to blush when you cling to him

- “I swear to god-“

- “My bad forgot there’s a jumpscare here I’ll warn you about the next one promise.”

- He won’t

- Sae rolling his eyes to the back of his head bc you just always in the house now and Rin hanging off you like a sad puppy

- Sae is more strategic where rin is impulsive

- So he’s the type to do shit from the past that he knew would make your heart flutter and run will be blunt and impulsive with his actions

- Sae will touch your lower back as he comes up behind you to grab a class from the cub board and hand it to you

- Sae will bring you home your favorite snack when he knows rin wont see him give it to you

- Rin will grab your hand in public and not let go to make sure you don’t get lost on a crowd

- Rin will clumsily press his lips to your forehead when you are most distracted

- Both are very annoying

- And after a good WEEK of getting mixed signals from both of them you’re ready to stay your ass at home for the rest of the vacation before it’s back to work

- Monday morning Rin invites you on a morning run

- Which you obviously say fuck NO to bc the sun ain’t even up

- But he shows up to your front door at the asscrack of dawn telling you to get dressed you have no say in the matter unfortunately

- The jog isn’t so bad and he has the decency to buy you breakfast afterwards so that’s nice

- Decent conversation surprisingly

- When he drops you off back at your home he kisses you before literally sprinting off

- He was working up the nerve to do that all morning

- Can’t even say thanks or whatever yet before he presses his body close to you and lifts your head to slot his lips against yours

- Puts all his feelings into that kiss before managing to get out “bye” before his throat completely closes up

- And then sprints off before you can even blink

- Clown

- Giggling and kicking his feet when he gets home

- Sae is packing for his trip back to Spain at the end of the week

- When he catches you leaving his house after another Rin spontaneous all day movie marathon

- Offers to drive you home because it’s dark and he remembers the address

- Didn’t really offer so much as grab his Keys complaining about how you know better than to be outside this late

- Sir 🫤🫤

- The ride is kinda tense until he forces a conversation

- Unsurprisingly e vividly remembers all the right buttons to press to see that smile he’s been dying to see

- Don’t even notice he took the long way back to your home

- Puts his new number in your phone and tells you to stop being stubborn and answer when he texts you

- He’s a gentleman before all else so he walks you right to your front door

- Man barely hears a word you said before pulling you closer by your neck pressing his lips to yours

- Remembers you like the back of his hand the way his lips fit so familiar with yours

- Ends up with your arms around his neck and your back pressed into the front door

- Clearly wanting to come inside he pulls away because he’s fond of the chase🙄😒

- Wishes you a good night before kissing your forehead and going back to his car

- both of them have laid their cards out on the table

- Just up to you to make a choice I’m afraid

#my writing #x black reader #blue lock headcanons #blue lock #bllk scenarios #bllk #rin itoshi #sae itoshi #rin x reader #bllk rin #rin itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x reader #bllk x reader #I had a whole different direction for this originally #but I was like actually you can’t have both this time #a choice must be made #anon asks #anon answered

[little-bumblebeeee]

Hey ! Can I requestJason Dean x reader (she/her) where the reader is getting a lot of male attention and Jason get jealous, but reader calm him down and assure him that she love him ect...

Hey!! Sorry it took so long, I'm back in school and it's taking up quite a bit of my time, but I do try to put in a little bit each day when I do have time :) I realize you probably meant that JD and reader (most likely you ;P) were already together, but I went the friends to lovers route :>

JD watches as Kurt and Ram stand on either side of you, leaning next to your locker with sly smiles on their faces. He doesn't care what they're saying, he doesn't care what you're saying. He wants them out of his sight and away from you, he wants them gone. You quickly notice his gaze, dipping between Kurt and Ram grateful to get away from those two as you rush over to your best friend

"Hey, I was wondering where you were!" You say as he keeps his gaze off of you, a sour expression on his face as he closes his locker a little too hard, making some freshman next to him flinch like a gunshot just went off before scrambling away. You know something is wrong immediately as he doesn't act like this often. "Hey, what's going on?" You ask him, leaning back against the locker next to him, leaning so your face comes into his vision. JD takes a deep breath through his nose, trying not to lash out at you, as he knows you did nothing wrong. But he can't stop the fire burning within him, up his back and chest and into his brain, making his whole intentions fuzzy with pure anger. He shouldn't be this jealous over his best- and only- friend, you should be able to flirt with people, be flirted with, go on dates with anyone you want without him hating them with a burning passion that rivals even the hottest flames of hell.

"JD, come on. Are you alright?" You ask him. You have no idea what gets him like this, you just hope it's not something you did. He takes a couple deep breaths, scrunching his eyes shut. His chest feels like it's caving in, just breathe, in and out, in and out, in and- fuck it. "No, why would I be? All the time, I have to watch guys flock to you like you're some sort of goddess, I can't stand it!" He says, hitting his locker by accident. Well, you think it's an accident. "What? You're not my boyfriend, you have no right to be jealous of guys that I don't even like." You say, crossing your arms. It pains you to say it, but it was a knee-jerk reaction. One that you wish you could've thought about, because now you kinda seem like a jerk to the boy you like who also just happens to be your best friend. He sighs, rolling his eyes and running his hands through his hair. "But I want to be. That's the whole damn point, I don't want to watch these guys crowd around you all the time, call me selfish but I want it to just be me." He says.

You're stunned, you can feel your face go both cold and hot at the same time, you don't even know what to do. "What?" You finally manage to say. "Yes!" He says in an exasperated tone of voice. The bell rings and he walks away, only for you to follow him. "JD, come on, don't just walk away!" You say, and you can't help the smile tugging at the corners of your lips. When you finally catch up to him, he looks even more annoyed than before, and this time it is kind of at you. "Why the hell are you smiling? This is funny to you?" He spits, and you smile only wider."Im tired of them too, but that's not the point." You say. JD looks kind of pissed, but he's going to listen to what you say, because you're the only person he'd ever trust, and he doesn't want to change that now. "The point is, that I love you, Jason." You tell him. His whole face becomes one of shock and just.. awe. "What." He says, it doesn't even sound like a question.

"I said I love you. And only you. So-" You start, but the bell rings again. The halls are empty and the school security guard starts to do that slow waddle/walk thing towards you both, so you both bolt in separate directions and try to get to class before you're caught without hall passes. You might have gotten to class late, and your teacher is totally pissed, but you could really care less.

#heathers the musical #heathers #heathers movie #jd heathers #jd x reader #jason dean #jason dean x reader #jason dean imagine #heathers fanfic #oh hello little anon

[sadakorosee]

When S/O dropped Donnie's mutagen canister Part 2

Donatello x fem!reader

Recap: s/o dropped Donnie's mutagen canister and he got mad at her for it, which he didn't mean to. now he has to find a way to reconcile with her.

Read Part 1 here

Genre: comedy, fluff ending

Lord, forgive the poor 6'8 foot turtle for being this clueless despite being the brains out of his brothers.

He's a mutant. Just guide him fr. Tell him what to do, the poor thing.

The turtles had no experience interacting with humans - humans are hard to understand in terms of personality, emotions, actions and interests. There's a lot but that was all the author can list down.

When Donnie became the first turtle brother to become intimately involved with a mate, a human, he was so thrilled he went up to Raph's face which pissed off the red masked turtle more. He had to tackle down his braniac brother but it didn't work when Donnie just chuckled like he was 10 years old.

You and Donnie were happily together for 8 months, so there weren't a lot to uncover between their relationship since you were working all week and only visited the lair at night or weekends. You won't likely see them at night since they're either patrolling or fighting off criminals far from their lair.

You both had disagreements but it never escalated to arguments or fights. The mutagen spill was not even close to an argument; it was only Donnie lashing out on you and you were too emotionally exhausted to respond.

'The highway looks good right now' You'd think once a while. (A/N: im sorry i had to. my intrusive thoughts won this round)

Donnie was pacing back and forth in the living room with Mikey sipping on his soda drink watching his smart brother contemplating a plan before going to you. He's just mumbling the possibilities and the outcome in case you reject his forgiveness.

While he racks his brain, Mikey has had enough, throws his paper cup and does the unexpected; smacking Donnie's face and he stopped. Completely.

"Did you just-"

"You can kill me later, D, but while you waste time mumbling gibberish or whatever language you use in that lab, y/n could be dead as we speak."

Raph, who heard the whole conversation, tried to intervene. "Oi, numbnuts. Stop with that crap or you'll make it worse for the idiot."

Donnie's narrowed eyes switched to Raph. "You know, you need to tone down with the nicknames you're giving us. At least come up with a better one." Raph cracked his knuckles but Mikey stepped in between them before it gets worse.

"D, listen, we know how much you love y/n. We love her too. Instead of thinking about what's about to come, why not you start by saying you're sorry to her? All she ever wanted when she came by was you comforting her but Leo did that in your stead. She had a bad day but you made it worse."

It was the first time Mikey ever talks in a serious manner and actually talks with sincerity. No puns, no giggling and not even involving pizza in the conversation.

Leo just finished his self training and found his 2nd and 3rd brothers 'examining' his 4th youngest brother on the medical table. He stood frozen for a while until Mikey yelled out for help which he reacted and jogged to them.

Instead of being serious, Leo watched in amusement. "This better be good."

"Mikey was advising Donnie about what to do for y/n-" Raph started, "-and he didn't even mention pizza. What do we do, Leo? Should we interrogate him?"

Leo faked thinking, tapping his chin. "This sounds serious. We should cut him open. Donnie?"

"All ready." Donnie took out all equipments including a saw and Mikey screamed bloody murder.

"Master Splinter!!" Mikey cried, legs waving about.

Instead of running to their direction, Splinter worked on his Japanese plants and casually smells them. "Play nice, boys." he said without concern for the chaos that's happening.

"Noooo." Mikey basically whimpered by their jokes have gone too far. They all just laughed around the youngest and when they're satisfied, they released him. "Not cool, guys. I was only trying to help. When you held me down like that, I called for reinforcements."

"Oh, who? Ice-cream kitty?" Raph laughed, earnings high-3s from the others. (A/N: just using some characters from 2012 universe)

"Mikey, are you alright?!" Your voice boomed the lair, your untied hair flying around as you ran inside the lair.

You stopped to catch your breath and Donnie's attention turned to you, his beautiful mate. You were dressed casually in joggers, black tank top and an oversized plaid shirt. Your clavicular area was covered in sweat, which says you were running to the lair from Mikey's distressed call.

"y/n," Donnie swallowed. You had long forgotten about what happened and turned to him.

"Hey," you breathed out. "Is your brother okay? Is he hurt?"

"He's fine," Raph answered instead. "We were just messing around."

"You strapped me to the table! That's animal abuse!"

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me!"

Donnie trailed towards you, his eyes looking up at yours since you were on the higher steps of the stairs. "I-I missed you, honey."

You coo'd at the nickname he always calls you and hold his face in your hands. Your noses touched. "I missed you more, munchkin."

He pulled your form into his and dug his face in your neck. "I'm sorry for pushing away when you needed me the most. I was selfish, uptight, and stupid. You're the love of my life and I will never push you away like that again," he sneak a small peck near your collarbone. "Please forgive me." His voice cracks.

"I hate you," that made Donnie's heart stopped for a moment. He was about to pull away to look at you but you pushed his head back and his ears landed where your heart beat was. "I hate that you don't come to me when you had a rough day and kept it bottled up inside. I hate you for trying to solve everything and when it didn't go your way, you beat yourself up for it. I want to hate you but I imagined life without you.. God. I cried everyday thinking you hate me for dropping that mutagen canister."

He felt your hug tigtens and when you sniffed, he forcefully pulled away and saw you crying.

"I hate myself for doing this to you," he wiped away the tears gently from your eyes. "If there's anything I can do, tell me. I'll gladly perform seppuku for you."

All brothers interjected at the same time. You turned to them confused.

"What's a--"

"Donnie!" Leo barked and covered your ears. "Are you insane?! If you do that, who's going to hold her?"

Donnie facepalmed. "Right."

Leo uncovered your ears and it just confuse you even more. "Seriously, what's a--"

"Doesn't matter, honey." Donnie kissed your lips, which you responded immediately, his hands went under your shirt touching your skin. He pulled away and flashed his smile which you missed most.

"I love you. Forever and always."

#tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie x reader #fluff #comedy #tmnt fluff #tmnt masterlist #tmnt bayverse x reader #tmnt mikey #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raph

[ceasarslegion]

Another thing i find is that people who have this perfect victim idea are WOEFULLY unprepared to face the fact that real victims are very flawed, often from the very things they're victims from. And many victims have also hurt others because of the position they were put in from being victims. And when people face that, they tend to treat it like pokemon typing charts where if the victim has done anything wrong, then they're actually an oppressor.

Wait until you actually try to do cult deprogramming, or advocate for real rape victims, or real CSA victims, or abuse victims of every kind of abuse from bullying to parental beatings. You'll find that none of them are perfect angels who've done no wrong and were perpetually quiet and timid all their lives, because those things make people lash out. They affect your relationships, your ability to hold down a job, your ability to socialize and play nice with others.

And with these things, a lot of the times victims have BEEN the abusers, because the abuse they suffered demanded it of them in certain situations for self-defense. And im sorry but this attitude that everybody is either a perfect timid victim or an evil piece of shit abuser and never shall the lines cross just doesnt work in real life with real life people. When you corner an abused wild animal, it will jump and attack if you give it no other options, so lets not go around claiming that a circus tiger whipped and abused to smithereens is a bad terrible abusive animal for mauling its tamer that was coming at it with a whip. Or for that matter, biting the other animals under the threat of being whipped if it didn't.

If your advocacy begins and ends at "victims are perfect people who cant do anything wrong" then you arent gonna find many victims to advocate for. Because most of us have either been cornered or threatened with a whip under the abuse we suffered.

#some thoughts

[kindnessisweakness2]

Delusional - Part 19

“I cannot believe you can sing like that lass!” Chibs exclaimed loudly from the bar in the clubhouse. The Friday night party was in full swing and Delaney was sat on Jax’s lap as the rest of the club made comments about how well she did at the fundraiser. “There is alot you guys dont know about me. I have lots of secret talents.” Delaney wiggled her eyebrows and laughed loudly at the expression on the guys faces. “No, Seriously. I love singing covers but i write songs too. I just never sing them. It’s weird, i’ve just never had the confidence. My parents wanted me to be a Lawyer or Doctor and well, you can see how that turned out!” Delaney gestured at herself and giggled. “I think you turned out perfect.” Jax said as he leaned in and kissed her head. “And talking about them secret talents, its time to take my old lady home. Sorry guys!” Jax grinned as the guys groaned loudly at his innuendo. Delaney did not have to be told twice as she quickly said goodbye to Gemma and Clay before following her Fiance to his bike. Jax was reaching for his spare helmet when an unfamiliar Car pulled onto the TM Lot. Jax Pulled Delaney close as he watched a man and woman emerge from the car. The woman was tall and slim with dark hair and dark eyes. She had a pointed look on her face and Jax could already tell she was judging everyone. The male was short and frumpy, with a receeding hairline and bright eyes. “Mom? Dad?” Delaney questioned, shock evident in her voice, as she made her way towards the car with Jax following close behind her. “W-What are you doing here? You never called to tell me you were coming out!” Delaney’s Mom scowled at her daughter. “Well we wanted to suprise you. We were concerned that we couldnt get hold of Alex, so we decided to fly out. Do not be ungrateful.” Delaney sighed at her mother. She has never been nice to her, and always thought the sun shone out of Alex’s backside. This was going to be a difficult convosation. “Well me and Alex, we arent together anymore. I dont know where he is-” It wasnt a lie. She didnt know where he was and she never wanted to know either. Her moms eyes widened. “Don’t tell me, you messed it up like you do everything else. Always been ungrateful, hasnt she James? I’m glad we flew out. You clearly need our help. I’m sure we can fix it. You just need to lose a few pounds, all this american food hasnt helped your waist line dear! You’ve clearly let yourself go. Walking around no make up, hair a mess and when was the last time you had your nails done? What have i told you Delaney Louise? Men do not appreciate it when their woman looks rough! No wonder Alex probably went somewhere else. Have you atleast been doing the housework and cooking him home meals?” Delaney’s Cheeks blushed crimson at her moms critisism and the fact that the rest of the club came out to see the new arrivals, catching the awful toungue lashing her mother dished out. Her Father just stood there an awkward smile on his face. Years of having to listen to her mother go on and on has made him compliant, never wanting to get on her bad side. “Mom, Can you please forget about Alex? He wasnt a good man. He did things to me you never knew about, even before we moved out here. I’ve met someone else. Someone who treats me so much better.” Her moms eyes flickered to where Jax was stood next to her. She watched her mom look him up and down and it honestly made her blood boil to see the judgement on her face. “He’s no Alex.” Delaney couldnt hold it in. “YES. YOUR CORRECT. HE’S NO ALEX. HE DOESNT GRAB ME BY THE HAIR AND DRAG ME TO THE FLOOR WHEN HIS BREAKFAST ISNT DONE ON TIME. HE DOESNT TELL ME IM USELESS AND FAT AND UGLY. HE DOESNT HIT ME EVERYDAY. HE DOESNT SCARE ME. HE DOESNT MAKE MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM WORTHLESS. HE DOESNT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I WANT TO DIE AND THAT THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME IN IT. HE MAKES ME FEEL SAFE AND LOVED AND HAPPY. SHOULDNT THAT BE WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOUR DAUGHTER? TO BUILD A LIFE WITH SOMEONE WHO MAKES HER FEEL LIKE SHE’S THE MOST AMAZING THING. RATHER THAN LIVE EVERYDAY IN FEAR THAT THAT WILL BE THE DAY HE FINALLY KILLED ME?” Delaneys chest heaved as she screamed at her mother. “Oh dont be so dramatic, Delaney Louise! So what he slapped you a few times? You’ve always been out of control. You needed raining in! To be showed whats acceptable and whats not! Alex did you a favour even looking at you in the first place. He could have his pick of the women wherever he went and he chose you! He chose to be with someone who behaved and looked like you! I hate to say it as you are my daughter but lets face it, your never the prettiest girl in the room. You ate your feelings through high school and look how its effected your body! Nobody wants you, and its not hard to believe when you look like that. Like i said, now im here we will correct it and you will apologise to Alex in the hope he will take you back.” Delaney shook her head at her mother. The nerve of her. “If you ever think im going to stand in front of that man again you are more delusional than he is.” The smack echoed across the lot loudly. Delaney’s head whipping to the side with the force of the hit. Her hand came up to cover the red mark on her face as she spit the blood that formed in her mouth on the concrete. “Do not ever disrespect me like that. I am your Mother!” The shrill voice of her mum and the shouts of protest of every member of the club sounded like it was far away. Delaney didnt know what was happening. She had been hit harder than that before but for some reason it feels like her brain had been shaken against her skull. Fuck, she could take a hit but this was different. Something was wrong. “Baby?” Jax’s arms wound around her waist trying to steady her. She could see double and her ears felt like they were ringing. “Jax-” was all Delaney could mumble before she went limp in his Arms. 

*1 HOUR LATER*

Jax paced up and down the hospital waiting room. “She really werent lying when she said her mom was a bitch.” Juice nodded in agreement at opies comment. “Do you mind? Me and my wife are right here!” Delaneys dad spoke up as her mum scoffed. “Do you think we give a shit? Look at how you’ve treated her. You’ve been here 5 fucking minutes and look at how much you upset her!” Gemma snapped. “You should’ve stayed your asses in England!”  Delaneys mum Stood up and made her way to where Gemma Stood in the doorway, but before she could say anything Gemma laughed. “Just try it sweetheart. I am not your daughter. I will fuck you up.” Jax glared at his mother. “Will all of you shut the fuck up? My fiance is currently lying in a hospital bed and you guys fighting is not fucking helping!” Before anyone could say anything else the doctor appeared. “Im guessing your all here for Delaney?” Jax Stepped forward, “Please can i see her? She’s my fiance!” Delaneys mum scoffed loudly, “I am her mother, Linda. I should be the one to see her!” Jax and Gemma rounded on her. “YOUR THE FUCKING REASON SHES IN HERE!” The doctor shook his head at the group. “Look you all need to calm down otherwise i will have to ask you to leave the hospital. She’s been asking for Jax, Gemma and club members. Which im guessing is all you guys with the patches on. She has specifically stated that no one else is to enter her hospital room so if your not a patched member, or your name is not Jax or Gemma you need to leave.” Delaneys parents scowled but left the room without argument. Jax sighed in relief that they were gone. “So now thats dealt with. You can see her but we are just waiting on the result of one more test, as soon as that comes through i will be with you guys shortly.” Jax thanked the doctor then made his way towards Delaney’s Hospital room. Everyone pushed into the room, trying to be the one to get to her first. 

Delaney Laughed as she watched Opie, Juice, Halfsack and Happy try to cram themselves through the doorway at the same time. “Get the fuck out of the way!” Juice gunted. “No move your fat ass i was here first.” Opie groaned as his shoulder got rammed hard against the door frame. “Both of you move out the fucking way. I’m her faveorite.” Happy shoulder barged his way through the small gap, sending juice flying forward onto the hospital floor. “Your all fucking idiots.” Jax snapped as he stepped over juice and rushed towards delaneys bed. “Hey babe, you gave me quite the scare.” Jax pressed a kiss to her forehead and smiled at her as he climbed onto the bed next to her. “Im sorry for scaring everyone. I dont know what happened, I think all the stress and worry these last few weeks have just caught up with me. I feel better now.” She tried her best to reassure everyone, but the doctor entering the room made everyone turn. “Do you want to speak in private?” The doctor asked Delaney but she shook her head. “No everyone here is Family.” Nodding his head, the doctor started to run through her test results as everyone listened carefully. 

“So we tested you for a number of things, Miss Carter. And thankfully all the serious diagnosis have been ruled out, but i do want to check one last thing that could explain your fainting. How have you felt recently?” Delaney’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I’ve been fine really. Just tired, but i put that down to the stress of the fundraiser. and all the organising. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night alot feeling sick but that is normal when my anxiety flares up.” The doctor nodded his head as he wrote notes on Delaney’s chart. “It does make sense. The fainting, the tiredness. Miss Carter, Your pregnant.” 

#sons of anarchy imagine #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #Jax Teller #jax teller imagine #jax teller x oc #jax teller x reader #jax teller x female reader

[celamoon]

HIIII!! I just saw you're new event and couldn't not send an ask (sorry if it's not to clear, english is not my first language)

So, may I have a medium soy candle with coffee scent??

Also, sorry if im doing it wrong, it's my first time requesting ╥﹏╥

"Two iced lattes, one with oat milk, please," Komaeda pulls out his card to pay, nodding as the barista starts on the drinks. "Oh, and one strawberry parfait."

It's strange. It's been strange. He was meeting with you for the first time in god knows how long, and he's nervous. Do you still like the same coffee? Did you hate him? Hopefully not. You had told him you'd come back for him when he had been left at graduation. You have his second button. Since you didn't mail it back to him, surely it means you still like him?

He sits at the booth, the drinks in hand, and stares as you rush through the cafe door.  

"Ko!"

He grins at you, and you rush over, throwing your bag onto the booth, sliding next to it.

"I got you an iced latte."

You look the same. There's very little change in your features, even in the way you call him. Everything is familiar to him. Well, not like he would be surprised if you had chosen to change.

"Thank you!" You beam. "So? Anything new? Sorry I haven't been able to meet up with you lately. I've been busy."

"No," Komaeda shakes his head. "My office job has been the same old."

"Mm," You pout. "You like it?"

"Yeah. There's... not much to account for in an office environment."

"True, huh?" you mumble. "That's good."

"How 'bout you?"

"Same old," You blow a raspberry mindlessly, stirring your coffee. "Though, I finally found a job."

"A reserve course student has a job?"

"Ey, Hope's Peak has more than just sending ultimates off to prestigious universities." You roll your eyes. "Besides, you had a crush on me."

"I still like you, you know." Komaeda stirs his coffee, staring to the side. "I didn't stop."

You pause, staring at him. "Not at all?"

"No."

You pout. "You need someone better than me."

"You need someone better than me," Komaeda frowns. "I told you."

"Well I only want you," You shrug. "We should just date."

"You need-"

"I need a lot of things, and a better man isn't on the market right now," You start drinking, chewing on the straw. "Besides, I told you I would wait for you."

"Ah, but there are much better people for you." Komaeda swallows. "Hinata-kun, the other reserve course student, he still likes you too."

"I thought you hated him."

"He's doing better than me-"

"That's hard to compare. He got surgery." You pout. "Is it because I used to be part of the reserve course?"

"That's not-"

"That's what you're implying."

Komaeda pouts, stirring his straw mindlessly. He doesn't know why he doesn't want to date you. He still likes you, but it's a rollercoaster of emotions in him, his stomach churning. Butterflies? Something. You deserve better than him. He'd be fine with just watching you from behind. You should stand with someone better than him.

"I want you, you know?" You frown. "If you don't want to date me, then I'd prefer you to tell me outright."

"That's not it." Komaeda's voice shakes. "I want to date you, but I really think—"

"I'll die single then," You shrug. "It's either you or no one else."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Is it working?"

"... kind of." Komaeda mumbles. 

Komaeda's pretty. He's got pretty lashes and pretty white hair. He's far too proud to date you, and you wonder if he realizes it's because of his pride. You were a reserve course student who made it big. He's a main course student who's working an ordinary office job now. It feels like the two of you have flipped. You wonder why you had told him to wait back then, and he didn't believe you.

"If it's no," You rummage through your bag, pulling out a small Omamori and then his second button from it. "You can have your button back."

"You carry it around?"

"Well, it'd be strange not to," You pout. "After all, you gave it to me as a symbol of your love for me."

"A-ah," Komaeda mumbles, hiding the bottom half of his face. "I didn't realise it was so... meaningful to you."

"I said I would wait for you."

A server slides a parfait onto the table, and you blink slowly.

"You got a parfait?"

"You like parfaits," Komaeda mumbles. "I figured it'd be-"

"Ko," You mumble. "What's stopping you other than your pride?"

"Nothing."

"Then why won't you."

"I want to be the one to ask you," He pauses. "If you'd let me?"

"You want to ask again?"

"Yes." Komaeda exhales, rummaging through his pocket for something. "Um, I found this clover the other day." He slides a laminated four-leaf clover to you. "It reminded me of you, and, um, I still like you. So, please go out with me."

"You sounded nothing like this when you asked me out back in high school," You laugh. "But yes. This little, pathetic reserve course student will go out with you, oh, powerful main course student."

Komaeda hides his face from your remark, embarrassed at his words from the past. 

Though, he's glad you agreed.

#someone asked for a large too so I'm combining the requests! #hope you don't mind anon <3 #komaeda x reader #nagito x reader #nagito komaeda x reader #☾.events

[hovkinnie]

honkai domination and kolosten arc spoilers/rambling+ some heavy complaining after the read more (it's basically a whole ass essay im so fucking sorry lkfjdslkfjdslkfj)

thinking ab how fucking rad and meaningful kolosten would've been if the domination arc had ended with kiana and HoV coexisting instead of what we got.

It definitely would've been better to do that with more setup of them actually talking throughout the story (which is the same thing you can say about the way it went, imo) but even without it- it would've been even more in line with what I think are the most resonant themes of that story.

The thing that made me fall in love with honkai like I did was the themes around victimhood and antagonism. Sirin, Wendy, Bronya, basically all the Herrschers we've seen- whenever a character that wasn't Otto during the beginning stages of the story became a threat to the world, it was never really because they were "evil". They were victims of the cruel world around them, sometimes victims of the same organisms that fought against the supposed real evil of the honkai, and either broke or lashed out because of their real vulnerability.

But in a lot of those moments the story understood two things: one, that that's a tragedy, one that deserves to become motivation to change the world so this kind of thing can't happen again, and two, that if at all possible, despite the threat they might pose to our characters or the world, what they deserve isn't hostility but compassion. Because they aren't the perpetrators of their own violence, only the victims through which it becomes externalized.

This compassion IS extended to Sirin, not only in Second Eruption but also through Kiana, who, despite being a danger in a sense because of HoV, is shown compassion as one of two different people carrying on from Sirin's past.

But imo, it undercuts this theme that HoV isn't extended the same compassion. Because HoV is not only a more direct threat to the world than just Kiana by proxy, she's a much more direct inheritor of what Sirin could represent: A righful anger at the world that victimised her, one that isn't content to fight to protect that world.

And in a story that had at that point so wonderfully allowed characters who were framed as villains to be accepted for who they are, to be recognized as the victims they are and shown a path forward that didn't end with them burning out, in a story with Bronya's self-determination being fought for, with Mei becoming a Herrscher that fights in her own way to protect who she loves, with HoS being shown compassion, Fu Hua being stopped from sacrificing herself for absolution and a pointless so-called victory, with Seele being allowed to live in harmony with her other self and taking her own name, it's just painful that HoV's anger cannot be accepted and coexisted with.

I know that it's not a hugely popular opinion, but I think kolosten drops the ball with Otto, and I think it's because until that point, we had seen Otto from the perspectives of those who were the most hurt by his actions, some of whom might have developed a sort of stockholm syndrome but who were still able to see the hurt he's caused the world. We knew, always, that his view of the world did not include the real compassion that we'd seen growing in the main cast towards those victimised by him, the thing that to me was the emotional core of honkai. Where kolosten fails for me is that now we got so, so, SO much from his own perspective, his own hand-washing, while getting absolutely NOTHING about the people he'd hurt.

We knew throughout the story, always, that the kinds of experiments he'd done to people en masse for hundreds of years were a kind of mass torture that was what created Sirin as a Herrscher in the first place, the pain that created her anger. We knew that Kallen would've been better off if he'd never been so obsessed with her because we got her perspective on that history, and we knew that the world would've been better off in the years after that because we got the perspectives of the people most hurt by his actions. And yet kolosten gave us none of those perspectives, only focusing on him, the people with the most stockholm syndrome for him, and Kiana as a newly-reborn protagonist who isn't about to let anger cloud her judgement.

All kolosten felt like was a pity party for what was undoubtedly one of the most horrid men imaginable in that world. And that's really only because there were perspectives that were sorely lacking, perspectives that could've been there, ANGER that could've been there, if HoV was allowed to exist, if she was allowed to be there to say what I wanted to say the most to every character that I otherwise adore throughout that entire arc.

"Fuck this garbage fire that's been burning for 500 years. He doesn't get his pity party, or his one in a million shot to save someone who never wanted to be saved by him. He's hurt too many people to deserve anything other than a million void lances tearing him apart, one for each person whose life he ruined by existing."

Because if your compassions for victims doesn't extend to accepting that they're allowed to just fucking HATE those who hurt them, then it isn't worth shit.

#(this is like actually extremely long tbc pls don't click if ur not ready to read a whole ass essay) #honkai #honkai impact #honkai spoilers #herrscher of the void #hov #im not tagging anything else cause i don't want this to be seen as like tagging hate or w/e? #i love honkai and i talked ab the reasons why in here #it's just #i couldn't stop thinking and wanted to write it out #all the reasons why it felt like at some point it started really failing in the regard that i used to love it the most #yes even beyond the fact the girls are gay #i read yuri every day that's not gonna be what moves the needle and makes something one of my favorite games ever

[foster-the-moths]

Do you also have something for Adam and Jonah friendship? You have said that Adam was Jonah's only friend but is there something else? Or maybe how Adam saw their friendship?

Sorry if I asked too much

YOURE FINE DW I LOVE TALKING ABT THEM!!!! i think that, like i've mentioned, adam is probably one of jonah's only friends and the only person that can 'tolerate' him. i feel like jonah probably wants more friendships but he's kind of scared to initiate them. every time he tried to be friends with someone in the past he was either forced into it, they weren't who they seemed, they lost contact, or something happened and he just couldn't bear to be around them anymore. at first he kept adam at arm's length until he realized 'ooh this guy is just as fucked up as i am' and decided hes gonna attach himself to adam like a barnacle until he tells him to fuck off. like adam just straight up told him everything so he knows what to expect, if this friendship crashes and burns, he feels no responsibility for letting it happen. but it doesn't happen, and for 2 whole years he has the most stable friendship hes had since elementary school or some shit. which he thinks is pretty pathetic but hey. he'll take what he can get at this point.

and on adam's side, he wants a solid friendship but he just seems to hurt anyone he gets close to and although he won't admit it, he feels REALLY guilty about it. he genuinely believes he is irredeemable, so he just stops trying at some point. i think that he feels like an empty husk most of the time and he is desperate to have a meaningful relationship with someone, but he also doesn't want to allow himself to have one. so he hides it. and then jonah just tears down all his walls and refuses to leave. and at first adam is kind of furious. he's trying so hard not to make the same mistakes and jonah is ruining his plan and he lashes out and. jonah doesn't even blink. because no matter what terrible shit adam could tell him, jonah already knows all of it. he knows he's pathetic and lazy and irresponsible and a million other things because the inside of his head is like. a constant 24/7 loop of self-loathing. and, like adam, hes just kind of accepted that maybe he is a shitty person, but doesn't mean he cant have fun with it. so adam finally lets himself have a friend. even if he's not even really sure if that's something he can really do, he's willing to at least humor jonah.

and its fantastic. they shoplift and run from the police and climb fences and fall off of fences and go to the er for broken bones. they eat stolen pizza out of the trunks of stolen cars. they fight over which radio station theyre going to play to the point that they have to pull over to avoid getting into a car crash. they scrape together what little money they have to get high on the worst strains of weed that are probably laced with something bc adam's face is melting and jonah is overcome with a primal, heart pounding terror but its pretty funny. and they both feel alive. jonah feels like he isn't running from himself anymore, and adam doesn't feel like he's walking on eggshells waiting to make a mistake that sends everything crashing down. and even though adam never says it, jonah knows he's having fun, and that's all that really matters at the end of the day. and, yeah, they have a LOT of issues but. i think if they were given the chance they would have been able to work through them.

basically. they are like edgy dollar store team rocket but they don't even have a meowth. or maybe its more accurate to say like. team dark from sonic but i don't really know enough abt sonic to say that. like the snapcube sonic dubs version of team dark. u get what im saying. not romantic, not platonic, not found family, but a secret 4th thing (wanted by the FBI).

#tmc hc #they mean so much to me okay. i need to make a post abt what i think jonahs backstory is

[nerves-nebula]

Loving your au!

The thing you said about allowing yourself to stim resonated with me a lot. Like, I've been pretty loud and emotional as a kid, but was forced to bottle up my emotions. Which lead me to self-harm, yei! (btw, Im pretty sure I'm neurotypical, but moving my body in repetitive movion tends to calm my nerves. So I guess it counts as stimming? Unless there is another more appropriate term for it. It's a good thing I got out of rottmnt fandom, lol.)

So, I've wanted to ask about your Donnie's experience with autoaggression. You've mentioned that self-harm is one of his coping mechanisms. So I am curious. What triggers the action? It has to be an intense emotion, right? What does he tend to do? Is it like cutting, biting or burns? A mix of everything? If I'm not mistaken, he does tend to wear more clothes, possibly to cover the scars and such. Also, what would be family member's reaction to his self-harm scars? Would they lash out, ignore or try to lecture him? (The last thing happened to me and it was weird. Like, my mom brought my little brother to my room and told him to ask me to stop. I'm afraid I might have unintentiinally traumatized him there, whoops.)

Also, sorry for long rant, but I adore your Leo having gender issues. Like. I feel it. I tried to copy one of youtubers who sometimes used she/he pronounce and had fun with it until other people started questioning it so I stopped. But my fuckery with gender came to bite me in the ass afterwards. I've only recently realized I fall under demigirl term, so that was a relief. I wonder how Leo's gender adventure will play out. :)

Sorr for grammar mistakes, I'm not a native speaker :'D

your grammar's fine :)

aight so a lot to get into here. SO Donnie's experiences with self harm are heavily based on my own ones, which means overwhelming emotion. That can be either too much anxiety/stimulation, or feeling so empty and numb that you just need to DO SOMETHING that feels real.

you're spot on about his clothing hah, he covers more skin than the others cause he knows it'd make himself and everyone around him uncomfortable to see.

so the thing about his family's reactions is this: Leo is in denial about it, and Splinter doesn't even know. These are both because Donnie has a lot of naturally occurring scars from unsafe metal work. frankly its a miracle he didn't blow up one of his fingers when he was younger.

nowadays Mikey and Raph just try to support him so that he won't feel the need to self harm. I think Raph used to be really mad about it when they were WAYYY younger but. That doesn't really help the situation so he just, tries to help any way he can without directly talking about the issue.

anywho, congrats on the cool gender! Leo will realize his bigender ways eventually (but not soon enough hah)

#nnstuff #ask #self harm tw #teenage mutant neglected turtles

[hanaonesflower]

“Leave a message after the tone”

HQ!! x JJK x FREE!

Voice Memos: Where they left things off…

(Kinda angsty but no harsh endings!!)

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

“Hey, uh yeah well I just thought I should call to say goodnight. My head is pounding like the motherfucker but I don’t think I could sleep peacefully if I don’t say something. I’m sorry I stormed out of the house like that and went drinking. I miss you a lot. I’ll come over in the morning, probably with a hangover. But I just want your forgiveness in person, knowing I probably don’t even deserve it. I love you.” 

—• Suna Rintaro, Miya Osamu, Geto Suguru, Rei Ryurazaki

“Babe, you’re sleeping now aren’t you? Have a good night sleep, I’m going to crash at a buddy’s house for the night. I know what I did before leaving must have really hurt you and I called to apologize but you didn’t pick up. You don’t deserve to have a drunkard apologizing to you anyway. Can I come over tomorrow? Please?” 

—• Nishinoya Yuu, Kageyama Tobio, Megumi Fushiguro, Haruka Nanase

“I– I honestly had this whole thing plastered into my head but now I’m at a loss for words. What I did was wrong… you don’t deserve to be treated like that. I was a coward and took the quick way out. I shouldn’t be saying that you deserve a better man when you only wanted me to the better man. I see and understand my shortcomings, it is funny because you were the one that helped me get there. Yet here I am, so pathetic. I don’t deserve you, but please give me a chance to redeem myself. Call me back? I love you so much.” 

—• Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, Itadori Yuji, Rin Matsuoka

“Hi, Y/n, I hope everything went well for you today. I hope you crushed at finals like you swore you would. I hope that presentation went well today. Did you get a good grade? I bet you did. But, I meant to call and apologize about last night. It wasn’t fair for you for me being saying those things. I stormed off claiming I wanted space in my room. Im sure you weren’t having a good time either. Being apart from you is torture. Can I please tell you this in person?”

—• Kuroo Tetsuro, Inumaki Toge, Asahi Shiina

“Y/n, it is killing me a little bit that you’re not picking up the phone. I hope you’re doing okay. I hope that at this very moment you are safe. You may or may not listen to this voice mail, but I’m going to say what I will say later; treat this as a rehearsal. Y/n, I’m a coward, I saw the look on your face when I lashed out at you and god, I think I was in pain, too. I say things without thinking and I had the luxury of not suffering through the consequences, regardless of how I usually don’t say much, but that was before you. I put more thought into my words, more intentions and I always try to be kind and respectful because of you now, but unfortunately, sometimes I let myself slip back into my old, bad habits. I’m trying my best to change, completely, for the better. I’m lucky and grateful that you are patient with me, although I’m already getting so much more from you than I actually deserve. If you’re listening to this, you get the gist of what I want to say, please be safe until I get to you later today. I love you, baby, more than you know.” 

—• Ushijima Wakatoshi, Nanami Kento, Sosuke Yamazaki, Makoto Tachibana

“You can’t stay mad at me forever… actually yeah you can. Listen, babe. I’m so sorry for the way I acted. I was foolish and inconsiderate of your feelings and now I’m beating myself up for it. So please don’t call your brothers, they might actually kill me. But hey, I want to see you and look you in the eye and give you a genuine apology. It’s the least I can do for you in this moment before I start making the drastic and necessary changes in myself. I hope you can give me that chance. I have to go now, the boss is screeching in the background, it’s probably good that you can’t hear them, their voice is like a banshee. Don’t make dinner, I’ll bring you some gooood sushi baby. See you later, I love you, darling.” 

—• Bokuto Koutaro, Akinori Konoha, Gojo Satoru, Kisumi Shigino

#💌hanaonesflowerworks #haikyu imagines #haikyu headcanons #haikyu x reader #haikyu x you #jjk imagines #jjk headcanons #jjk x reader #jjk x you #free! imagines #free! headcanons #free! x you #free! x reader #fluff fluff n more fluff #if these boys were to send me a voicemail like that I will sOB #luv them sm 💞🥰✨ #haikyu angst #jjk angst #free! angst

[artist-assassin]

ok i need to know more about ellaria STAT. and your thoughts on rosy + the rosymance !!

RRRRR OK OK but ive only played the public demo so far i havent paid for the patreon/closed demo yet, so i have very little information about the Rosymance in general. info dump and stats below

Ellaria is the humorous / cheerful kinda Button, about 5'5", and she calls her brother Nick-Nack in the game but I imagine she will call him any random number of names off the top of her head (based off of when I played Fallout 4 and I would often call Nick any random nickname like Nicki Minaj, Nickle Pickle, Nickolodeon, Nickaroni and Cheese, etc lol). She has some insecurities because she compares herself to her brother a lot, but she tries to tough it out and beat up her bad thoughts bc she's an unstoppable optimist!!! Stubborn to a fault she refuses to back down once she sets her mind to something. Is a very nice person but gets very socially awkward in large groups, and sometimes lashes out when she gets frustrated by how fragile people treat her (the first thing that made her like Instructor Kim was that he didnt beat around the bush abt her zero but didnt treat her like a kid either!! shes like damn finally some respect around here)

Loves Nick so much (i got like a 160% relationship with him in the open demo lol) looks up to him like her personal hero + mentor. Loves her dad even though it's a little bit strained, has not seen or spoken to her mother in 4 or 5 years after The Incident(tm). but she misses her mom a lot she, she's half scared of her mom hurting her and half scared she will hurt her mom.

I chose the pre-prepared name Ella when I first started playing bc I didn't know what the game was about so I wasn't prepared to like.. make an OC for it until I decided I liked it enough lol. But I compromised by just naming her Ellaria and Ella is her nickname. Here are her stats by whatever chapter is the last one in the open demo (8 i think?)

I LOVE AMBROSE KIM... i played as bisexual in my first go as Ella so i had no idea the genders for some charas changed until I checked the Ambrose Kim tag on tumblr lol. but im way more into rosy as a man than as a woman... Mr Kim u can instruct me any day,..

Like I said tho I don't know a lot about the Rosy romance because I only played the open demo, and I know the author says his romance takes the longest to flower because of the whole teacher/student aspect so he's actively trying to NOT fall for button.. well too bad bitch I'm gonna be so respectable and hot he's gonna have no choice.

anyway im gonna get the patreon this week (friday probably) so i can update u on how i feel soon jhgjhlks i also love all of the characters ngl. i would romance all of them in separate playthroughs.

and u didnt ask but ill mention Kali also, my 2nd Wiseman. shes NUTS. i made her to be the exact opposite of my first humorous, cheerful, ready-to-take-on-the-world girl Ella - so Kali is grim and not nice at all and technically still ready to take on the world but more in a "the whole world is my enemy" kind of way instead of the "i wont let anything stop me" ella way. She's VERY resentful about her zero and is one bad look from a ment away from strangling someone

sorry for the long ramble jhagdwj youre the first person who is talking to me about this game that has become my newest obsession (and u were the one who got me into it so UR responsible for this mess) and im happy to share it w someone :3c

pls feel free to tag me in any mind blind stuff u post, whether fanart or oc art or just rambles n stuff i dont care ill love it all. thank u

#mind blind #Ellaria Wiseman #Kali Wiseman #briefly mentioned at least #ough this was longer than i thought itd be jhgjhdw SORRY IM JUST SO EXCITED TO TALK ABT IT

[nolzo]

posting my akuma class + quantic kids headcanons because i have strong opinions about a lot of them pt 3:

akuma class - adrien, nino, alya, lila, & marinette

adrien agreste

- white french or wasian

- he/they prns

- hes the pretty boy hes also literally a model in canon so.

- in salts hes spineless and like a coward but hes also sometimes becomes really fucking rude and like controlling and stubborn which i dont see?? but im also not a big fan of adrien salt

- however them in canon is kinda crazy. in derision they apparently almost cataclysms kim over a prank from a year ago?? so yeah i can see irrational a little

- i ship him with nino in a classic friends to lovers or they both end up in a qpr. yea chloe is technically his first friend but i doubt it was bc they wanted to be friends and more bc of proximity

- im not a particular fan of adrienette either mostly bc i dont like their dynamic. like ive seen similar dynamics and i get the hype kind of, but . i dont like them tgt. not even in fanon. i also am like allergic to canon hetero ships sorry its a disease

nino lahiffe

- black and arab

- they/he prns

- i only hate the salt fanon version of them theyre like a bitch in salts for no reason

- he has locs, past his ears like close to his jaw. he keeps his headphones like in canon but loses the cap

- i think this is the only character where i talk ab their appearance? i just think nino should look a little different

- i hc them with adrien (refer to adrien for reasoning) BUTT i also hc them with adrien AND luka

- i like adrino's dynamic more than adrienette's (lowk nonexistent) dynamic

- lowk could see nino as a stoner

- superr into edm i like that hes an aspiring dj

alya cesaire

- black/creole

- she/her prns

- i dont like canon or fanon alya shes just unlikable to me? idk what it is

- her making up those plans for marinette to confess to adrien was crazy. she was really up concocting schemes

- i also cant rmbr much about her actually so this is a really watered down opinion about her

- i dont shop her with anyone except maybe nino or like sabrina . i will not elaborate

- i hc alya as that one friend who is like nice but like mean nice? like the type of person you wouldnt be able to tell if they were being genuine or not when they mess with you . which honestly it would be exhausting to have someone like that as a friend

- also i think alya being prone to lashing out or like quick to challenge someone is canon?? but if not i hc it

- i really dont have much on her personality wise i swear i just dont rmbr her at all

lila rossi

- italian (canon)

- she/her prns

- fucking hate fanon lila ppl write her as such a bitch like shes horrible

- like realistically how stupid do the classmates have to be to actually believe lilas bullshit in fanon. some of the fics are bad bro they shit on like all the class except marinette . marinette is not that great guys.

- canon lila is alr she doesnt do much. shes just a petty MIDDLE SCHOOLER lets rmbr everyone is in middle school

- lila doesnt do much except when she terrorizes the city with hawkmoth. almost forgot sorry guys. does she still do that or

marinette dupain-cheng

- mixed chinese and french (also canon)

- no prns or they/them prns

- i hc marinette as nonbinary

- marinette is also autistic

- marigami 4life i literally cant see marinette with anyone but kagami.

- ppl ship lukanette but i cant see it . lukanette is like a weird rebound situation in canon i dont like it

- some of the fanfic writers need to write marinette better, or actually accurate to canon. ive seen sm ooc marinettes (lets ignore how im completely changing marinette) that dont make sense

- canon marinette is embarrassing. the stalking thing (which is apparently explained in derision?), the schedule thing, and all that is literally insanity. i dont like thinking about canon marinette

- i actually do not like marinette that much, canon or fanon. which is kind of surprising?

#miraculous headcanon #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fandom #miraculous marinette #miraculous lb #miraculous adrien #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #alya cesaire #marinette dupain cheng #lila rossi

[soopkreem]

Oooo I read your hcs on Jeremy and Waylon dynamic and a bit of an idea sorta came up, it’s a little unrelated but… Do you think Jer would see Miles as some sort of replacement for Waylon and try to go after him? I feel like it becomes way too obsessive and it scares off Miles (but Jer doesn’t see it that way, he’s just gone into incel mode bc of everything that’s happened with his past relationships so far, like ‘why do you all leave me????’) or something lol

TLDR: It could happen! But I have my reasons AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP RAMBLING IM SO SORRY ANON

That could happen if we're taking the desperate route hahaha though I feel like Miles can replace Rick rather than Waylon, since they're both kinda similar, in a way. So basically RickJer is the rich and spoiled version of camerashipping.

So, if the thing with Miles really happens, I think he'd just give everything up and put up a thick wall and just do something by himself. It's up to Miles if he wants to get closer to him or not (huge possibility by the way, Miles is just THAT adamant sometimes, mainly because Jer is a former one of the leaders of a shady transnational company, and he wants to know more about Murkoff)

It's too long so I'm going to place the details of Jer's feelings about Rick and Way under the cut!

So, to put it simply following this anon's question...

It's nothing climatic tbh. He doesn't lash out or anything like that. It's just... When you knew a person would do something bad to you before they do it, and the thing really happens in the future, you feel almost numb about them. It’s juft poof all the positive and even negative feelings are gone. “I’m not surprised, but I’m still mad” kinda feeling?

He's met people with various personalities, he can predict how people would react and act based on their personalities alone. He knew Waylon would actually send the emails (he just didn't expect worse stuff will happen as well). It's almost like he has no energy to even be mad about it lol but he still wants it to be hurt as much as his efforts were gone to waste (to understand this, please read my ramble under the cut, I'm sorry,,,), so he's being petty about it,,

"Somebody's been telling stories outside of class. Mr. Waylon Park, consulting contract 8208. Software engineer with a level 3 security clearance. Graduated cum laude from Berkley, but still somehow not smart enough to realize that the last thing a fly ought to do in a spider's web is wiggle. Somehow dumb enough to think that a borrowed laptop, onion router, and firewall patch would be enough to fool the world's leading supplier of biometric security. Stupid, Mr. Park. More than stupid, in fact, that was crazy."

LIKE ITS KINDA FUNNY IF YOU THINK ABOUT HIS DIALOGUES THAT WAY. I'd love to imagine that he was genuinely surprised Waylon actually attempted to send them through a shitty plan, it was insane, so at the same time he's laughing at Way's attempt while the actual person is terrified senseless on the floor. akjaksdjkad

I think a lot about Jer and it's really embarrassing......

My take on him is pretty boring and weird, I guess? Jeremy never actually... Feel the need to befriend/love someone, he didn't expect to have one so soon - it was just that Rick and Waylon happened to be people who were close to him, so he made some efforts into their relationship, expected something more from them in return, since he trusted them. Rather than mourning over people who betrayed him, he's frustrated over the things he had sacrificed in exchange for their companionship; All the money, all the covering efforts, all the emotions, the sentiments, etc, etc, are all wasted on people like them. It's not like he's close close with them either, they're pretty much just friends with benefits to putting it in summary lol

One of my friends described it so much better but unfortunately I don't remember how he worded it so bear with me anon I'm sorry, When Jeremy watches as Rick was sent to the engine, he doesn't feel sad. Rick wasn't his friend, but he feels like something is missing - something about it made him feel betrayed - probably betrayed by himself... Even the feeling itself disturbs him because even he couldn't pinpoint what was causing it. It's between "I'm completely fine even if you die" and "I wish you were here" to put it simply. I know I'm sorry if your brain exploded there,,, emotions are complicated tbh

So... it's not really like Jer isn't capable of human emotions, but rather, it's more complicated because he views emotions as something to be suppressed because they can weaken you. Showing emotions makes him vulnerable, thus making him pile up emotions and complicates stuff because he doesn't even understand himself.

My god its 3 am rn i hope im at least making sense,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

#replies #anon #outlast hc #kt: jeremy blaire #kt: waylon park #kt: richard trager #kt: outlast

[systematic-advice]

//suicide, abuse

hello, im sorry if i sound dry we are extremely dissosciated/blurry right now bbut i was wondering if you have any advice on what to do after a traumatic experience as a system. we just got retraumatized by our bodily sibling who has traumatized us many times before just told us to kill ourselves and that we deserved to get beat our whole life. i know that its common for systems to split during stressful/traumatic experiences and i can already sort of feel it happening, emotions that arent mine headache etc. and i just dont know what to do. are there precautions i ahould take? is there anything i can do to make it less scary/painful? anything would be helpful, thank you so much -🪶sys

Hello Anon.

I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this, we were taking a mental health break, but this sounds horrible and I'm so sorry you had to go through it. You deserve much better than that and your sibling should be ashamed. Cycle of Abuse is no excuse for saying something so horrible. I hope you are doing better now and let me start off by assuring you that your sibling is wrong. You didn't deserve any abuse, no one does.

I would say the first step is to try to take a few deep breaths when things like this happen. Getting yourself to a safe space and breathing then starting the process to ground yourself. Find five things in the room you could touch, touch some if you can, five things you could smell and what they might smell like, five things you could taste- all of that classic grounding stuff. What you're trying to do i remind yourself where you are in the timeline. You're present, not when the trauma happened. If you're retriggered, this can help to remind you you're not in that scary moment.

Going for a walk might help once you've calmed yourself a bit. Getting out and moving forward helps to get your mind off of things. There's a lot to be said for going outside and getting AWAY from the people who are hurting you, if only for a little while.

Reminding yourself that this is 'their' issue, not yours did a lot for us. They are saying these things to you because someone either said it, or something like it to them. And that's NOT an excuse, but it helps to redirect the anger mentally for us. 'They're jut lashing out, so that thing they said has no founding, they're just trying to hurt me and it's not going to work."

Playing games to distract yourself in the time after can help keep you from fixating on it. Something brain intensive, like an RPG or survival game usually works for us.

I hope these suggests help you Anon. Sorry this happened. No one deserves such things.

#✝️ :: cross platform #they asked #did #osdd #did system #osdd system #actually did #actually plural #dissosiative identity disorder #otherwise specified dissociative disorder #system #system advice #system things #alter #alters #dissosiation #triggered #TW suicide #TW abuse #abuse #suicide