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#im so obsessed with her i cant believe shes so mentally ill that she thinks i dislike her....
purgemarchlockdown · 6 months
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Honestly half the reason why I don't think about Mikoto much is because people can be Really Hostile I Guess???? It's weird, I can weather the amane discourse because Im so emotionally compelled by her that even if I tried (and I Did) I probably wouldn't be able to keep it in lol. I care too much about what she deals with-every day I am a bit closer to making another post about autistic trans girlthing Amane Momose.
However Mikoto is so much more dicey and interpretations are so split and and divisive and my knowledge on this subject is so very much not enough that it's like...why would I ever want to step into that nonsense where people will skin me alive for being "wrong" whatever the fuck thats supposed to mean because no one can fucking agree-
I dont have the fucking right to tell people what is and isnt good rep! But it seems like the people who do have the right cant agree and a lot of them think the other is fucking stupid for believing one way or the other! And neither of them are wrong! Its up to interpretation! Your millage may vary! It could be both! Its not mutually exclusive!
I am having a genuine breakdown about this shit- Sorry Mikoto but as much as I think your an interesting attempt at an examination of mental illness through the lens of societal demonization and I really want to know how you'll pull it off since the execution of this concept seems Pretty Damn Hard- holy shit am I so fucking tired and no one has even argued with me. I am creating mental sockpuppets and obsessively thinking about them- why do I do this to myself- I should sleep- I should go to sleep
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malewifebillcage · 2 years
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W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.
And
X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.
For the ask meme <333
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omg aww @lauwrite1225 @fleurdufeu ty all for the asks!!! also @faeratil bold of you to assume you can retract your challenge just like that, watch me do all of them anyway
A: Ships/platonic pairings that you currently like a lot ok so thanks to @potatoesforsamoo i am simping on main for steven stone and flannery from pokemon which is such an obscure ship but she writes amazing fic for them!! i also love twiyor from spy x family rn! as for platonic pairings i'm obsessed with literally everyone in major. the father-son relationships in that show are EVERYTHING and i love the friendship dynamics so much. in my head i've written over 1 million words of meta about them
B: A pairing that you initially didn't consider, but someone changed your mind franky/nightfall from spy x family... i was a yuri/nightfall shipper for a while bc i thought it would be comedic and hilarious but i saw some art of franky and fiona and honestly it would be the FUNNIEST thing if he had a crush on her. they would be like fix-it felix and sergeant calhoun from wreck-it ralph if they were a couple i think. and i love it
C: A ship you have never liked and probably never will sheith i guess?? i'm trying to think of ships from fandoms im actively in but not sure. anyway yeah whenever i see sheith i'm like ew. not even bc of their familial dynamic, like i don't care who ppl ship or anything go ahead and ship them all you like i just cant see them together. it makes my blood boil for no reason at all. it might be bc i ship klance or smth idk i'm gross
D: A pairing you wish you liked but just can't i guess all the thomas ships in downton abbey but i just don't Like thomas that much and im not very interested in his subplots sorry... it seems like everyone who stans thomas is having a genuinely good time tho and i wish i could be one of them bc im starved for good fic in the dabbey fandom :(
E: Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what? how easily you forget all the memes i made for tlk lmao... as for my current fandom i made this thread summarizing the entire plot of major through memes bc watching the anime made me so mentally ill. if u actually click on the second link tho don't read the tags i beg you... i thirstposted in there and it was bad
F: What's the longest you've ever been in a fandom? i've been in the fullmetal alchemist fandom for going on 8 years now and it's been pretty good. after that i was in the man from uncle fandom for 3 years or so
G: Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? gee it was so long ago but i believe the first ships i ever actually shipped were like kimron and drakkgo from kim possible. the first ship i actually consumed content for was either shirogane and ichigo from tokyo mew mew or yullen from d-gray man i think. if we're talking actual brainrot otps tho then it was stony jdkfsjskfds
H: What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff? oh anime 100%! i watch so much anime its a wonder i haven't magically turned into an anime character already
I: Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? h*zbin h*tel bc the fandom was toxic as fuck and the show is actually so, so evil...
J: Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr duh it's the gay pirate show and the vampire book club... i'm not in them but they ARE all over tumblr so i have to think about them obviously
K: What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc? JOE GIBSON MAJOR JOE GIBSON MAJOR JOE GIBSON MAJOR!!!!!! I CANNOT EMPHASIZE ENOUGH WHAT AN INCREDIBLE CHARACTER HE IS!!! MY BRAIN IS SO ROTTED FROM THINKING ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME OK YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE MEANS TO ME NONE OF YOU KNOW HIM LIKE I DO
L: Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves ugh... ok aethelwold WAS admittedly really funny sometimes. i hated him but he made me laugh and sometimes i miss the levity he brought to a scene with just his overall existence
M: Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend alice from major!!! she's just so cute and i think we would get along super well i love her <3
N: Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom content, content, and more content. the major fandom is a barren wasteland i hate it here
O: Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of? the first song to come on was if u seek amy by britney spears... idk why but it reminds me of junior from major bc i think he would have the trashiest white girl taste in music i just know he would be belting out an impeccable falsetto in his fancy jag while bumping his hand on the steering wheel. i know it
P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas) courtesy of ro i am still thinking about a major au where gibson adopts goro and raises him and junior together with momoko after shigeharu's death to atone for his mistakes. i just want gibson to be a father figure is that so wrong
Q: A fandom you’ve abandoned and why there are a lot of them so i can't really give one answer but like i said, the h*zbin h*tel fandom is so toxic i will never go back
R: Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom? GIBSON AND GORO ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME!!!! despite their history there was never any lingering hostility or anything between them. they respected each other so much and took so much inspiration from one another and grew as people because of it. like gibson had been so arrogant and almost selfish in his debut eps but he transformed thanks to goro's influence and became such a humble and selfless person like even when he was dying he never put himself first. it was all about keeping his promise to goro, and making up for lost time with junior, and upholding the pride of his country, even if it meant putting his life on the line to do so. and in the last arc of season 5 we saw how he touched the hearts of fans all around the world with his resolve and i think it's so so beautiful
S: Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged) major au where no one dies and everyone is happy that's my personal headcanon right there. bc if shigeharu had lived i actually think he and gibson had such potential for a rivals to besties dynamic like it was all there. in my heart shigeharu lived and he and gibson became reluctant carpool buddies during the little league arc. i just really wish they had been friends that's it. nothing else to see here
T: Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? toshi is so in love with goro it's not even up for debate he is in LOVE with goro!!!! also i think goro and alice dated for a little bit. i just need it to be true
U: Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites roy mustang from fma/b, jaime lannister from game of thrones, and joe gibson from major. they're all war criminals (only emotionally in gibson's case) who are traumatized by the sins of their pasts but later redeemed themselves through their actions thanks to an excellently-written character development arc (in the case of jaime, this was all erased at the last minute. thank you d&d for your service)
V: Which character do you relate to most? KAORU MY BELOVED!!! i too am a spaz who loves sports but can't be normal if her life depended on it and i for one would LOVE to be goro's girlfriend so if she would just hand him over please <3
W: A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom i hate breakup+makeup/divorce+get back together aus i just can't stand the relationship drama smh
X: A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom slow burn mutual pining gets me every time its so basic. but if we are being oddly specific here then it's when a character who's the last person you would imagine to be competent in this type of situation is actually terrifyingly competent and you are So Confused and a little turned on right now like who is this and what have they done with [insert character here]
Y: What are your secondhand fandoms? succession, yuri on ice, she-ra reboot, attack on titan, mdzs and tgcf, and riverdale
Z: Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! uhhhhhh i guess with the new pjo adaptation i'm a bit concerned with alleged racism in fandom spaces now?? so many people are up in arms about annabeth's casting like "you're racist if you don't support this casting!!" like it's not that we don't support it? i love that annabeth will be black in the show! it's great! but... in the books and the movie... she is still... a white character... and maybe... it's not so bad... if people PREFER the books and the movie... so they continue to think of annabeth as a white character as a result... like, it's not erasing black annabeth at all! it's just they will continue to think of annabeth as white bc it's the annabeth they know and love! either way, the character is still annabeth! same source material and everything! anyway that's it, people will probably come after me for this but i just wanted to say it :/
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tismemaximusprime · 1 year
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welcome 4/7-8/23
well here you have it, welcome to my blog pat. im sending this to you so you can go through and read all my posts if youd like, most of the ones i write are tagged personal. 
i love you so much and tonight was an absolute slap in the face and tbh at first i wasnt mad at you at all for any of it. but i didnt realize you have still been in love with liv since atleast october if not sooner. i saw the messages. you wanted to have a family with her and spend your life with her. i understand she means a lot to you but you 100% are just trying to replace her with me, whether you believe it or not. youre not over her. she was rubbing against you and im pretty sure you were so happy about it. i know shes been there for you longer than me. but im wondering if you should have waited to start dating someone. you tell me youre over her but i know youre not. i see when were at the store now you first turn to her but then quick turn around to find me bc something in your head says you have a gf. i want to believe you want a life with me but legit you were love bomb messaging her a couple months ago. you said youll wait for her. what if she decides its time to try again. what if she begs you to leave me? will you do it? im terrified to lose you. im also hating little by little hanging with her bc she just obsesses over you. she still loves you and thinks youre her forever back up plan. thats not fair to you or me.
idk what to do anymore. im scared and tired of crying, its fucking 5am and i still havent slept bc i cant sleep. my mind is saying youre temporary and youll leave me which sucks bc i actually believe it more now. you dont talk to me like you do to her. i wonder if you think of her a lot, even when were having sex. do you still dream of her? idk if i can do this. this is really hard and tough and im so scared of being hurt bc i know i cant save myself from this one. so i need to know now if youre with me forever and only me. i cant go on for a few more years then build a life with you and we break up then. i mentally and physically cannot do it. im searching for my forever and i want you so badly to be my forever. seriously i love you so fucking much its insane. i just cant get my heart broken bc i wont recover if its later down the line.
do you seriously want to be with me? and i dont want to be a back up plan. its not fair to me. i want to be the first choice. i deserve it. hopefully ill be sleeping when you actually see this, so you have time to think and respond.
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dilucsbimbo · 3 years
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do u know any other genshin creators that write dark content >///< i also LOVED !!!!! your xiao fic omg <3
HI BABY THANK YOU SO MUCH! and yes i do,,, the only other person who i know definitely writes genshin dark content is @lovebo :) they used to be on seita but recently moved around the same time i did,,,,
i recommend her stuff!!! shes a great writer and my writing style has improved A LOT just from spam reading their works LOL
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aggravatetheaxe · 3 years
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hi I’m absolutely obsessed with your writing atm but also would you mind sharing any more info on your ocs if you have it?? I wanna know more about pris (and whatever tf happened with her and michael in the past)
YES i would love to tell you more about pris. this ask made me so happy, i cant even begin to tell you. i always worry people don't care about my ocs but they mean so much to me
she is one of my most favorite ocs of all time, it's just i've been so hyperfixated on house of wax i haven't gotten to write much about her and michael - BUT i really want to and i probably will eventually
tag
some quick facts about pris:
priscilla catherine tate
born in 1958 (im terrible at having concrete birthdays for my ocs but maybe she's a virgo? not sure)
5'6", pear shaped (& gains weight and keeps it on after giving birth to audrey), pin-straight dark brown hair (gray when she's older) and dark gray-green eyes, long nose
american of irish and english descent
not religious; raised non denominational christian
aromantic spectrum, bisexual, but not inclined to go out and meet people; puts more weight behind blood relative connections
when she was a child, she and her parents were involved in a bus accident and subsequent fire. she was 7 at the time and was one of the only survivors
early onset depression and mental illness because of this traumatic event, which eventually led to a dissociative disorder, specifically a form of cotard's syndrome
her illness was manageable through therapy and medication but she believes she can't die because she's already dead
was fostered longterm but never formally adopted. doesn't feel a huge connection to her foster family though
has been both an inpatient and outpatient at various mental health facilities in the area for years; the mental health community of haddonfield and the surrounding area knows her pretty well by the time she's 20
nihilistic, prone to shutting down and appearing "emotionless" because of her anxiety (but that also means she can Get Shit Done when she has to), actually could be a deeply caring and wonderful friend if given the chance despite being a wet cat of a woman
showers 3-5 times a day because she fears her body decaying, so some obsessive compulsive tendencies. if she can't shower when she wants her neuroses become exponentially worse, which is one of the reasons she does much better as an outpatient
has a sphinx cat named soup
doesn't have many aspirations for life, understandably, since she thinks she's dead; however, still needs to pay bills, uses her mental health community connections to get herself a job in the healthcare community, becomes an RN
bounces around from healthcare jobs to secretary work to cleaning jobs, etc etc
hobbies include: puzzles (esp word puzzles), board games, miniature model enthusiast but no talent for it, absolutely adores just sitting back and listening to some old country (her FAVORITE) or 40s-50s music
now when it comes to michael, it would all depend on what timeline we're talking about. and for the record I don't really like RZ Michael so this would all be OG
if we're talking Carpenter's reboot (Halloween 1978 -> Halloween 2018):
michael and pris knew each other in passing from some mental health programs when they were younger, when loomis was still Trying with michael. basically a classmate type of connection, so they recognized each other but didn't really know each other?
she was living in outpatient/government housing at the time of the babysitter murders
michael kind of staggered to her govt housing neighborhood after being shot by loomis. michael's a creature of instinct so his first is survive -> prey
wound up staying with her because 1. she didn't call the cops on him 2. she's dead, there's nothing behind her eyes; she wouldn't be interesting to kill. we see time and time again that michael doesn't kill someone unless he's interested in them/likes how they are and wants to see them die or if they are in his way and she was neither. there's nothing exciting or interesting about killing something that doesn't care about dying
life finds a way! audrey was conceived ~3 months in
they lived together for a full year without being detected. but michael likes halloween, so while pris was at the hospital giving birth (on halloween!!!) he snuck out and decided to kill some more people (fun)
he was caught this time, as the whole town was on guard
pris was thoroughly inconvenienced by this, and also a bit sad because he had been her companion and she had gotten used to him. anxious as hell because now she's a single mom (thankfully she's very experienced with navigating government programs and was able to help herself pretty well)
managed to finagle weekly or monthly visitation with michael by going over loomis's head; this became much easier after loomis died, and they got even more privileges. knows sartain very well at that point
because of this, michael never forgot who she was. she has a connection with him
they just seem sort of drawn to each other, almost supernaturally. it's like she provides some weird equilibrium...and she doesn't ask anything of him, doesn't want anything from him. he's just in her life now
michael's parents don't speak to her and audrey (and eventually they die)
she and michael are never technically married but she considers him her partner, probably the closest thing she will have (or would ever want, she's quite aro) to a husband; she refers to him in that way often
people who know about her and michael think she's fucking insane. how the hell did she even survive that? most people don't know, though, and audrey takes her last name. it would be very hard to be a myers in haddonfield
she and laurie do know each other. she has nothing in particular against laurie but she did need to get a restraining order against her. it's unfortunate that laurie hates her because i think they'd be friends in another life
she doesn't have anything against people especially and doesn't particularly want michael to murder folks, but she's smart enough to know she can't stop him
when it comes to other timelines, such as the thorn timeline... when the curse gets involved, i figure she has to have some supernatural connection to it, but i'm not a huge fan of the thorn timeline, so i haven't smoothed that out!
@waxhouse and I have a fun crack type au where all the slashers live in the same neighborhood and there pris is:
best friends with amanda, jason voorhees's wife
audrey's mom obviously
part of amanda's book club but she never reads the books and it drives amanda insane
gets her weed from bubba sawyer
bo sinclair's object of lust and fear (she hates him and his vibes)
on good terms with freddy and pinhead (she and the Girls go to brunch with pinhead all the time)
always the designated driver (she hates driving tho and avoids it)
that one friend that you're sure hates you but actually has deep deep affections for you, they're just quiet
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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years
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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??
but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.
so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 
oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 
god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE
next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.
okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 
so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.
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taesbetch · 4 years
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Den Of Hybrids | 05
Pairing: BTS  x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst
Summary: Taking care of six hybrids can be a pain in the ass but when a stray needs y/ns help, y/n brings him home to his new family. Follow Y/n as she tries to help Taehyung (The new hybrid in town) fit in and continue to keep the other six alive along with other troubles that life brings.
Word Count: 2k
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Previous 
You stood at the back of your parked car, hands folded over your chest as you tried to contain your boiling anger. The park you were at was one the family used to visit a lot when you were younger. Those memories seemed so pure and happy, did you miss something? was your child mind completely oblivious to the misery that was your bloodline?
The sun was setting and time continued to tick by as both you and Hyuna awaited the arrival of the devil herself.
Finally, A black vehicle drove towards your area. As the car drove past you, you could almost feel the eyes of relieved hybrids. Your heart stopped as the car parked itself several parks away from yours. Turning towards it you prayed that the injuries weren't as bad as the pictures...but your prayers were ignored.
As the seven boys walked out the car one by one guarded by her henchmen, Your eyes watered. Namjoon limped as he held his right arm tightly, wincing with every breath. Jin clutched his shoulder, his left cheek bruised badly and his right eye still dark and battered. Jungkook walked with his ears hung low, his small cut healing. Jimin followed with what looked like a fresh slap wound and a small limp, pulling the weight off his foot. Taehyung followed closely behind jimin, looking the least emotionally traumatised and the least beaten with only a bruise on his forearm. Yoongi was next shoved out, carrying a heavy scowl on his face and multiple bruises on his arms and legs. Then, Hoseok walked, looking at you with big hopeful eyes he swallowed pain as he walked.
you wiped away a tear as you walked up to them, stopping about two car parks away as May raised her hand.
“Are you guys okay?!” You asked desperately as your voice cracked.
Each of them opened their mouths to answer but May spoke first.
“Wheres the money?” She spat.
You narrowed your eyes at her before pulling an envelope out of your pocket.
“I've got it. Now, give me back the boys” You spoke strongly, clearly over her shit. A small smirk found itself on her face. She nodded to her two henchmen. They stepped back letting the hybrids hesitantly shuffle towards you.
“It's okay, you're okay now” You urged. Jimin bit his lip as his eyes quickly spewed tears. Running over to you with a wail he was the first to embrace you. soon, all the boys had run over, participating in a massive group hug, you quickly wiped away jungkooks tears as hoseok squeezed your hand. It had felt like a whole eternity that they had been away. But now they were back. It was time to finish May off.
“Here,” You said as you broke free of your hybrids hold to pass her the envelope. The seven boys watched curiously as they noticed your demoneour change and hyuna quickly typed away on her phone.
Opening the envelope with an expectation of cheques, mays smirk quickly dropped.
“what's this?” She asked raising an eyebrow.
“It's your warning. I'm charging you for assault and blackmail...oh, actually. What else was there hyuna?” You asked cheekily as you looked back at your friend.
“Oh, I believe it was - Blackmart hybrid fighting, illegal work hours and payments, Tax evasion and hmm what else of yeah! scamming money from the rich! sounds oddly familiar” Hyuna explained.
You looked back to May and sighed heavily.
“You have NO proof of this” she scoffed as she folded her arms defensively.
“Oh, but i do. Ya know, You could've just asked. I probably would've said yes. I wanted your love and approval THAT badly i would've handed over 7 million with no hesitation. I just wanted my family around. And because of that my real family ended up getting hurt.” You stated, your voice strong and passionate but full of hurt.
“y/n, I'm all you have. You cant do this to me” She said, whimpering slightly as she saw the fire in your eyes.
“But i can, And i will. Because you've crossed a line aunt May” You said nonchalantly as sirens chimed in the background, getting closer and closer.
“You're going to regret this y/n, Trust me when i say this” SHe sneered as her two henchmen start backing away, ready to make a run for it.
“I’ll never trust anything that comes out of your mouth ever again”
You turned to walk away but swivel back around as the police cars start turning into the parking lot.
“Oh and one more thing... I hope you rot in hell”
Spinning around towards your car you walked quickly, ignoring her yells and her pleas, with the boys following closely you watched happily as the cops nodded at you, reassuring you that everything would be handled on their end.  Right now, Aunt May was dead to you.
----
“Okay, but are you sure?” You asked nervously as you stood at hoseoks door watching him dry his hair with a towel, clean clothes on his body.
“Y/n, I swear I'm okay. I just need some sleep honestly” He replied, his usual sunshine smile displayed on his face. You pouted at him as he sat himself down on his bed.
“Okay...but ill be checking on you in the morning” You replied. He smiled at you as you slowly closed the door, your eyes glued on him just in case.
You sighed as the door clicked shut, but your moment was quickly interrupted as taehyung walked around the corner. As you opened your mouth to continue your obsessive checking he cupped your face with his hands.
“Yes I'm okay, No I'm not mad at you, No I'm not upset that this was my first week in this household” He answered before giving you a tight squeeze.
“And don't worry, I will comfort jimin until you come to check on him” he added before walking off, his hands tucked in his pockets. You stood shocked for a second at how well he was handling everything. He seemed a little different to when he first arrived at the house, though he still seemed like a doe-eyed child, something had shifted and you weren't sure what..
Thinking of doe-eyed children you noticed how quiet it was. Jungkook.
Rushing upstairs you noticed that yoongis door was locked shut and took a mental note to check on him straight after. As you entered jungkooks room you noticed how he had rearranged his furniture.
“Kookie? You okay?” You asked as you nervously watch him throw clothes on the ground.
“Oh hey, y/n! Yeah, I'm fine” He replies. Not giving you a single glance. You walked closer, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Kookie” You said softly as he stopped.
“I'm fine, really. Namjoon and jin were the ones who took the most of it. especially in place of us...I just...I just think its time for me i change a little bit. To grow ya know?” He said.
You smiled softly at him.
“Well okay then, positive growth is never bad, just...tell me if you're not okay, alright?” You said. He smiled at you and nodded softly, returning back to what he was doing.
You bit your lip before walking out, heading to yoongis room. Placing an ear on his door you heard the shower running.
Your eyebrows furrowed but you shrugged it off. This wasn't his usual showering time but then again, he did just got through something rather traumatic. You walked to Jimin's room but the sound of two people snoring froze you in your spot.
A smile graced your face and for the first time in a minute, you felt calm. It was nice to know that the two boys had found peace with each other. Walking all the way downstairs you made your way to namjoons room, for some reason you weren't as concerned with your older hybrid before, but jungkooks words made your heart drop with worry.
“Namjoon?” You called softly as you slowly opened the door. Sobs filled the room. At the sight of you, namjoon shifted his body to face a wall, hiding away from you.
“Namjoon” You whispered as you closed the door, your heartbreaking a little. You rushed to his side letting him cry in your arms.
“You asked me to take care of everyone and i couldn't, i failed” He sobbed. Your heart broke even further as you realised the stress and pressure you had accidentally placed on your hybrid.
“Oh namjoon no, you didn't fail. You did your best! and jungkook told me all about how you and jin took the brunt of it all. God im so sorry, This is not your fault at all! AT ALL! I'm so sorry i put that pressure on you” You stated, a few tears falling out of your eyes.
“You did everything right namjoon. Grandma would be so proud of how you handled it” You added as you stroked his hair.
“I felt so..useless” He whimpered. You kissed his forehead softly before shaking your head.
“No. Don't ever think that about yourself. I need you here, things wouldn't work smoothly without you, i don't know how id manage this estate without you or the other hybrids....This was my mistake okay? don't be so hard on yourself I'm the one that fucked up...” You stated.
Namjoon took a deep breath before looking at you. His eyes blood red.
“I promise ill be better,” He said as he took your hand in his.
“That's not possible namjoon, You’re already the best”
----
You dragged you feet towards your own room, hoping jin would be in there - ready for bed.
As you entered your room you stood at the doorway and stared at jins back. Your mind floated to when you first got jin. Back then it was only him and namjoon. You were still figuring out so many things and there jin was, always supporting and looking out for you.
As he turned around you were reminded of the pain he had enured as the bruises and black eye called for attention.
“there you are! You ready for bed?” He asked with his bright smile.
You pouted as you tried to contain your emotions but couldn't stop yourself. Bursting into tears you ran to jin and engulfed him in a hug.
“I'm so sorry! I'm really so sorry!” You sob.
He laughs as he wraps his arms around you.
“Its okay y/n. Look! I'm back now! were all back and were going to be okay! Sure that was a shitty experience but were going to be alright” He said as he rubbed your back.
“God damnit i should be the one, comforting you” You sighed as you pulled away from him and wiped your eyes, the tears refusing to stop.
“Have you done your rounds? Check on everyone first then you can come and listen to me sob” He smiled ruffling your hair. You laugh before doing a mental checklist...Yoongi.
“I'll be back”
--
Odd. The shower was still running. You knocked harshly just in case he couldn't hear, but there was no answer or call...nothing.
“I'm coming in yoongi I'm worried!” you said before using your master key to unlock his door. peaking your head in you noticed that only one little lamplight had been turned on and the window was fully opened. A fully opened window was never yoongis style.
you walked to his second level but still...
Empty.
You walked over to the bathroom noticing the door was open and yet, nothing. Just an empty shower. Turning off the water you looked around his room once more even checking to see if clothes were missing, or certain items...but nothing...
Your heart drops in your stomach as worry starts to consume you. As you hold yourself to protect your skin from the sudden breeze passing through the room you let the silence further feed your growing fear.
“Yoongi?”
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avpd-chekov · 4 years
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Hfghhhghnnn another post on the trisha paytas situation, bc i keep obsessing over it and i hope this will ease my mind, and no one has told me to shut up about it yet. If you're tired of hearing about this im so so sorry
The problem isnt her faking the disorder, or anyone who ever faked a disorder, bc you're never able to tell if someone is faking a disorder, not even a highly skilled professional, bc there literally isn't a subjective way to measure emotional behaviour and experiences. The whole diagnosis process is them asking you how you feel and what you experience, there are no brain scans, exept to rule out a neurological cause. If someone were to fake a disorder, but spread accurate and positive info, i dont think they would be morally right, but i dont think there would be any real harm done. And if you really do have the disorder and are open about it there are always gonna be people who think you're faking, because guess what? You really cant tell. Our best move to protect the community is to believe as many as possible
Now imagine, someone goes to the doctor and says i think im bipolar because i go from really happy in one moment to really sad in the next, then that doctor is gonna say: you're not bipolar bc that is not what bipolar means. Still no harm done (except by society and the school system who failed to teach this person and many others adequately on mental health). Now if trisha had gone to the doctor and said this the doctor would have told her: no trisha you dont have did bc that's not what did is, what you're experiencing is emotions. But she didnt do that, and that's where the harm is done. Instead she went on the internet and told many people who had also never heard about did many false things showing that she clearly didnt know what did is, but only clear to the people who actually know what did is, and there are many people in her following and in the whole world who dont know what did really is, and people like trisha (and films like split while were on the topic) contribute and create the false view and stigma about did. That's what causing harm. The real problem within the mental health community isnt "all those fakers" it's people dismissing someone's struggles bc of a false image of mental illness that is apparently ingrained in our collective minds. To help our mental health community we need to get rid of that false image, and trisha is currently reinforcing that false image, and that is the damage she is doing
Tldr; faking a mental illness, while definitely not the right thing to do, does not cause harm in itself. Giving a large platform to misinformation and stigma does
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burnedbyshoto · 4 years
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if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)
anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️
well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.
big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri
Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri
DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri
I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri
AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri
I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!
I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul
theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D
BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD
GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU
@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~
I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though
anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.
I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:
@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕
I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything
anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️
It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!
anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!
my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!
anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways
oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO
anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this
i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!
anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝
AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!
many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.
so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;
nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭
LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(
anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰
I got my water right next to me rn bby :D
anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend
bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???
@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.
....you right...
anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina
...send it
anon said: GIRLLLLLL
ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)
local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?
uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?
anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol
okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH
@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂
as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO
🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥
Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥
URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D
ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT
~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~
anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?
....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)
this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)
anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((
I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)
@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING
BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE
anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha
well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)
anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.
i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)
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ryangha · 4 years
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oh i definitely think youre right about osu n im a lil sleep deprived but yeah!! i was so shocked! and the fact we couldnt seen dana's face while she was ordering sasa to carry out the attack is. hm. i think that osu genuinely thinks what hes doing is for the best, and he approached dana bc of her never showing criminals mercy + he trusts her. osu himself never expected himself to live this long bc the twins cared for him, but morae is someone hold no2 back while at the same time
upturning his entire family. the earlier chapters said he was good at planning and manipulating people to get what he wants, and even in the ‘I’ll trust in you and believe u no matter what so talk to me’ his phrasing felt. concerning ('why are you up?’ 'because everyone decided to leave me alone’/'seeing u is so hard these days it makes me sad’/'I’ll help u with anything, so tell me’) but osu sounds a lot more…. Deliberately Searching for the response he wants in jp so maybe thatscolouring my view. ah, just remembering. osu said he was suprised he lived this long earlier. he himself has made peace with the fact that hes p much a dead man walking and that all his family is immortal and will see him come and go, so seeing him obsess over morae must be making him a lil antsy that no2 may Never get over morae (or him when he dies so this is like. shock therapy) - n u saw how destroyed he was when no2 got arrested.then again, i dont know what mental acrobatics led to this choice bc we dont. spend much time in osus head. or any time actually. he loves no2 and no2 loves morae but i wonder if osu feels a lil detached from morae himself?? like how naga felt about tracy and venom. but instead of trying to be sad he Cant bc morae sucks and gets upset bc of how much anguish this person has put him (osu) through and he hasnt even done so on purpose or met him so osu just wants him gone.N bc no1 is is primary caretaker from what i see and no1s been real fucked up abt morae since forever and that’s another reason osu may want him gone. but i do think he has an inferiority complex abt his health im sorry im like everywhere rn. im not making sense but yeah. basically i agree w everything u said im just Something atm
also i learned on the korean wiki osus longest relationship description is about dana and he has a section entirely dedicated to porn. dana has a section dedicated to her crush on him and her combi name in hs with judas was 'steel cotton candy’ and that added on with the fact that she was shy in her kid years and got teased made her dye her hair. then she cut it bc it was a pain in the ass to wash blood out of it. good night zzz
oh shit soooo that’s a bunch of facts that i have not thought about and youre right. osu really is trying even though if he thought he doesn’t see himself living very long, he at least could see baekmorae coming to his end so that osu will know that no.2 is better off than constantly trying to get him back… hmm i think you were alluded to this scene (this in the eng scene and for my refresher lol):
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hmm idk i think it’s not as big as a diff in english but osu definitely sounds like he’s expecting no.2 to spill sumn to him… esp when he starts off saying ‘no one was here when i woke up’ or alike and continues to go on about how not only no.2 is busy but also no.1 (which they are involved with baekmorae’s case nd i think they’re right at least to involve osu as least as possible aside from using his family’s wealth/name in the later chpt) so he feels left in the dark. i don’t think he is in the dark tho he knows more than he lets on for sure… like you said, he’s “Deliberately Searching for the response he wants’ and i can read that in the eng trans as well :) also totally see what the readers are thinking earlier cause! i looked over and readers feared that osu was going to stick on no.2′s side where he would try to help him get baekmorae back, which earlier this chapter no.2 was talking to his sis that she doesnt blame baekmorae since murder was the usual back then, but i’m kinda glad the author wrote osu the complete opposite direction. i think he does look past the fact no.2 desperately wants to redeem himself/make amends to baekmorae and bc baekmorae is such a shitty person, osu would rather help him in the way of getting baekmorae outta his life like some emotionally festering parasite. 
also agreed AGREED that we don’t get into osu’s head or barely any, which is a disappointment cause i know in the beta idwtkoh there was an arc where osu got kidnapped nd i feel like we could’ve known more about osu’s shady character back then compared to official idwtkoh. getting off kilter a little but yeah idk osu for sure knows that he’s sick nd been sick that it’s kinda ironic that his dads are immortal healers that can heal so much with him as an exception. it’s apparent that osu’s strongest relationship is with no.1 and no.2 so to see no.2 struggle with getting baekmorae back is like. YEAH exactly with how crushed osu looks (i also remember how osu apologized to dana nd that face crushed dana in return aaaAA) but i think osu for sure feels detached from baekmorae like. osu might be filling in his place for fake KNIFE but baekmorae is just this figurehead of villainy that SPOON’s been working for long to catch and i just feel like it’s easier for osu to feel apathetic or even dislike for baekmorae since he’s the source of no.2′s pain? well, we dont really know how much osu knows of no.2′s past and how he abandoned baekmorae but like. does osu think it’s the better path to forgive no.2 when he’s trying to apologize/redeem? don’t think osu has put himself in baekmorae’s shoes even though his relationship to no.2 is nearly the same without the mentor/mentee role. but yes, osu is prolly just like ‘if sumn messes up no.2 then they need to leave. permanently.’ or alike lol. it is strange to me how their positions regarding to no.2 are very similar tho…. 
HAH one day ill be able to translate those korean articles concerning osu’s relationship with dana AND dana’s crush on him but today is not that day. just wait for it lol but as recurring it is that osu’s bad habit is porn, i always forget to write about it when im writing osu lol. i didn’t know about dana’s combi name ‘steel cotton candy’ with judas hahaha they both must’ve hated that. idk if that special chpt was translated but dana and judas did dye their hair black without telling each other and thought they copied one another haha. i love these two’s interactions also sad for dana that she got teased for her pink hair. but i know she probably handled it all on her own. OH that’s so badass for her to chop off all her hair cause of the blood……. dana is the best i swear. and thank you for sharing all these facts nd im sorry if my response in turn is lackin cause im kinda out of it too lol but. always a good time talking about idwtkoh, especially a character like osu…….. he was a missed opportunity for more character exploration honestly. 
THANKS AGAIN 
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tumblunni · 5 years
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Komasan continues to be relateable social anxiety man, holy shit. "All the choices at the mcdonalds are A TRAP they baffle you with options and when youre scared thats when THEY STRIKE with the special offers!!" And aww i love how komajiro always sees the best in him no matter what! "Wow bro, only someone truly courageous would try all those foods of dubious quality!"
I didnt talk about it before but Bear is really adorable and my favourite! From what i saw of him in the game's intro he seemed like he was gonna be a generic bully character but in the anime he seems like a gentle giant who's super adorable and just gets embarassed when people know it. And he's the butt of 'fat people are stupid' type jokes which makes me really sympathetic to the poor guy! Like everyone says he's dumb but he got a perfect score on that test and it was just a yokai that made him fail! However his english voice reaaaaaly sucks. Its that dumb trope of 'the fat bully has a voice like a middle aged man somehow' except also its cleaarly a really bad impression done by someone who reaaaaally cant do low pitched voices at all. Like it sounds like an actual kid trying to act like an adult! Which i guess is in-character, but it also just sounds.. Really bad...
HOLY SHIT I LOVE THE DANCING PLANT YOKAI, THEYRE SO FUCKIN CUTE!!! And i like how theyre a trio like the nosirs, but their designs are more different with cute colours and such. And i love that the only reason theyre a problem is that they give you super dance skills even at really inaopropriate times like the middle of a test. CANT STOP THE RHYTHM! It was hilarious too when nate was chasing after them but in a dance style XD
Also Manjimutt's next story arc has generally become a bit more interesting? Its a great escape parody and so far has been actually quite funny with no gross horrid sexual assault nonsense like usual-
OKAY WHAT THE FUCK I TAKE THAT BACK
WHAT A SADISTIC GODDAMN EPISODE
Okay wtf?? Sudddenly its an episode about Manjimutt meeting a teddy bear yokai and he's like his new son and they have a montage of happiness?? And Manjimutt is like "im gonna buy you a nice bowtie when we get out" and then lil sam GRAPHICALLY DIES! They show him being crushed between a set of gears and his head popping and all the stuffing spilling out as manjimutt cries. And then the EVEN MORE MEANSPIRITED ENDING is that lil sam wasnt real at all, manjimutt was just going so mad from the loneliness of solitary confinement that he took a regular teddy bear and started using it as a puppet son to ease his pain AND REALLY BELIEVED IT BECAUSE HE WAS JUST THAT MENTALLY ILL! Ha ha comedy..? Seriously why is this show so cruel to this man when he hasnt done anything to deserve it, and when he actually acts horrible to women its played as just a harmless joke?? Prioritiesssss
Also im REALLY starting to get super sad for poor komasan whos now trapped in a web of lies that he's not really anxious and is totally dealing with city life perfectly okay, because he wants his brother to love him and THINKS HE WONT IF HE EVER FAILS AT ANYTHING EVER. Gahhh poor guyyyy pleaaase stop making him get even more embarassed in every new episode!
Aww no fair! Nate dont be mean to your mom's fancy outfit! I'd wanna be insipirted by dazzabel all the time if she gave me the confidence to look fab like that! Also wtf nate calling hungramps the "most unfashionable yokai" wow ur bein a big asshole today i guess. Also Fancy Hungramps was awesome, thanks for roasting the fuck out of nate and peacing out on a surfboard, thats the Biggest Mood while watching this show lol.
Huh apparantly in the anime when youre inspirited by Dimmy you get a creepy as fuck three dots cartoon ghost face THATS WEIRD! But dimmy is still super cute and shyly adorbabble :3 I'm surprised his voice was even kinda close to my headcanon! "oh...i dont wanna be a bother..i'll just be over here..." POOR BABBU! And i feel really sad for Dazzabel too! I mean it seems implied that she's so obsessed with fashion because she's depressed about being a skeleton and wants to look more humanlike? Dimmy defeats her just by bumping into her and knocking her bow off and then she looks in horror at herself. Thats so fuckin sad!!! Dazzabel you're beautiful no matter what!!
Okay how do manjimutt's episodes keep getting even more sadistic!!! He almost manages to escape with a group of other prisoners and he has a deep inner monologue about them being his only friends. And then in the last five seconds it reveals that they hated him all along and also he accidentally ruins his escape at the last moment by being unable to resist howling at the moon.
That actually raises an interesting point! I like how they keep subtly implying that the legends of werewolves were really manjimutts all along. Thats an interesting idea, that different mythological creatures from around the world are all the same monster just reinterpreted.
WTF why is Sproink the only boss yokai that ever got his own episode? What made them pick him of all people? Also why did they decide to give him an australian accent? It makes him really cute tho??? And my new favourite character is THAT GRANDPA! Sproink threatens the safety of the town by turning everyone's bathwater up too hot, and gets defeated by The Most Badass Old Man Ever who goes "yeah great! Turn it up higher!" and watches the poor bastard boil. Holy shit true hero of the series!
Also i continue to adore Babblong and continue to say WTF I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR HIS STORIES!!
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thelifetimechannel · 5 years
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The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.
In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.  
DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.
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danielhere · 3 years
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Hello there self I hate you so much, you got an idea for mary now you're pretty much happy again wtf man are you obsessed with her? You kept being sad when she left it worsened the time that you caught feelings and again and again it starts to worsten why dont you confess your love to her just try it once and move on when you get rejected you know the inevitable she's gonna reject you but who cares this is the only thing I think will cure this thing that has become you.
Either that or you forget her ya know slowly come on you can do this. Emotional dependency and loneliness are your worst fears why cant I just be normal like those dumbasses in class not get depressed stressed and just laugh get good grades a normal life ya know trauma is not that bad it just makes you feel really bad
So david what's your choice go for loneliness or confess to reassure?
You're lying you do love her but in what way you're not even sure right? You just really like her more than the others she's there for you and your there for her. Maybe this is the cause of that time when you felt dejected guess you were spoiled huh self when your little brother came there was a new favorite guess that's how it feels huh well anyways dad didnt have much time again but moms there when I need some parental love time? Is it because I had trouble from my parents ya know our mom wants to finish this life of raising us and go back to the province provide her with money when we get a job she wants a nice retirement from being a housewife. I want that too the life where no one bothers me but I feel lonely so I did the opposite and became a social butterfly as she said I was but that just made me emotionally dependent I wonder what possessed me to become this mentally sick that I feel that being lonely and emotional dependent is worse than me dying ya know I thought about death a lot in G8 I was very depressed cuz one of my friends ignored me I felt really lonely so I asked the mistress of death to be with me. Then after I postponed my feelings for love and when it came back it felt really bad as I did the wrong move got misunderstood and hopeless I am that's how my first love was gone I had a chance ya know if I didn't wanna kiss her on the cheek that night in front her parents that I didnt see Oh God I believe you exist so pls explain these feelings of mine what the hell is life and why does it make me suffer all the time?
So yeah Ill account for all my problems today lets see. Childhood Trauma, Depression, Stress, Emotional dependency, Loneliness, and I guess Im suffering from wanting to commit suicide instead of living life instead
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190094 · 6 years
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there was a time i can remember in my childhood where my mother regularly whispered and talked to herself while doing things in the kitchen/bathroom. i cant remember being able to understand any of it. there were also numerous times where she did say to me in a fit of rage how much she hated all of us and how she was just going to disappear one day and we would never see her again. being roughly 13 years old i didnt know how to respond to this so i just didnt respond. as i was growing up there was usually a weekly episode of my mother freaking out about the mess in my room or something to that effect. i was a kid with a nice room and apparently no other kids had messy rooms, or didnt make their beds, didnt get Bs in school. at 15 years old i was often considered useless and stupid. every time one of these freak outs happened it usually covered every aspect of my life that was unsatisfactory. there was Never any positive re-enforcement. as i got into my teens i was often called useless and got yelled at for spending money on stuff like food. i can recall many times where i would be come home with food for everyone and my mother would be there tearing a strip off me for how wrong my life was for how much they provided me with. itd always bother me so much that i couldnt think straight anymore
fast forward to the present and my mother is totally obsessed with her job as a secretary and the politics there. family dinners usually consist of her complaining of co-workers and talking about the stuff she does at her job
shes also badgered and yelled at me every moment i was home with her. she didnt allow me to go outside (???), she rippd into me with insults and telling me how stupid i am and how much i have fucked up her life. she complains about her job and the people at work ALL THE TIME. im so upset that ive been talking to my fathers aunt about the possibility of my mother being severely mentally ill for the past 3 weeks. its killing me to live like this
im losing hope and running out of options. i have a very bad relationship with her because she lacks trust with me and she always thinks im out to get her. i dont live with her but for some reason she constantly accuses me of stealing her things from her home. once she left a very belligerent vulgar message on my answering machine accusing me of stealing her credit card and paying my cellphone bill. i was completely in awe. then another time she cursed me out saying once again i stole her credit card. i dont have access to her card info or any of her personal information. im of course the only person she accuses of stealing from her
another thing ive noticed about my mother is the way she speaks. she sometimes reminds me of a child, especially the way she puts her sentences together, she stops in the middle and gets distracted by, say, the tv, then when i ask her to continue she doesnt remember. she often brings her problems at work home with her and takes her anger out on me and my sister. she spends a lot of time by herself on her computer and only goes out for necessity, i.e. going to the gym or her hair stylist and nail stuff. she barely even goes to the mall to buy fucking FOOD. i had to remind her to buy/cook food because she doesnt do shit in this house, as my sister tells it
she often fabricates stories or she seriously over exaggerates them. she believes her lies i think. one thing i dont understand is how she treats my sister like royalty but treats me as a untrustworthy criminal thats out to get her. the way she is to me makes me not like my mother or want anything to do with her
im seriously concerned with her and i need answers
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