#im so fuckig scared for them

[goblinbugthing]

yall ever just see someone who you think is really cool and immediately, for the next 4 months, begin daydreaming nonstop about them following you back

hah. could never be me.

(^liar)

#text #buggi’s rambles #not to vaguepost or whatever but yk #and i know the person who im talking abt is NEVER gonna see this but i just wanna say to them. or like. the wall. #every time i see the art you post i think about how much i wish i could reblog it and tag it w/ ‘besties doodles’ #i have been thinking nonstop about how FUCKiNg much i want to be your friend but im too nervous to fuckig #reach out and like. actually ask to be your friend #but i really really want to be your friend #but i feel like it would be really weird or whatever the word is to like. dm you or smth and just be like #’hi i think youre super cool and awesome and i wanna be your friend’ #like thats just seems strange. or like. abnormal?? creepy???? idfk what the word is #but still i want to be your friend bc you’re really cool and your art is so so cool and we like the same stuff #uh. to a degree. we like The Beugs and you KINDA got me into cotl #but like!!!!! im so scared to reach out and ASK bc i dont wanna be weird #also fear of rejection n shit. yknow. The Illness #oops i rambled 💀 ok anyway #back to artist hell i go

[hollowknightinsanity]

ough. ok somber hatching oneshot is next but i thought of a scene for the quirrel death oneshot so im writing it down bc i dont wanna forget it and. ough. ngl im about to start crying

holly is just. so so scared and so so sad and they dont know what else to do but cry and pk knows theyre hurting mentally and physically but he cant help them. because hes the source of all their fear.

im fuckig

dude im

im f

im fucking. yeah im vrying. augh

#hk #hollow knight #hk thk #hk hollow #the hollow knight #hk:ep holly #hk pk #hk pale king #the pale king #hk:ep pale king / chrysanthus #hk:ep #text #*normal sounds* #hk normalcy #do you ever just. angst YOURSELF into a different dimension on accident

[stupid-dumb-autistic-idiot]

random facts about my fuckig au i usually try to balance them out between characters but i dont feel like it so its gonna be a lot of squid sisters

-marie has killed two people but she was possessed the first time

-both of the squid sisters are eternally touch starved and i dont know why. theres a lot of hand holding

-callie has ocd (surprise!!!). she mostly has trouble with making decisions

-marie is more of a slew of mental disorders than a person (relatable)

-i feel like shit

-marie figured out a lot of the problems she has in canon but now she has more sooo

-callie likes shitty pasta idk

-marie is incredibly picky about food because autism but also she eats lemons (???)

-callie is really good at social stuff and marie just figured out shes not supposed to leave while people are talking

-i only traumatized the new squidbeak splatoon so everyone is kind of really scared of them

-HISSSS

-marie only bites if you approach her without warning

-they only hit each other sometimes

-im done now

-bye fuck you

#splatoon #splatoon 2 #splatoon 3 #marie splatoon #squid sisters #callie splatoon #alternate universe #au stuff idk #ill kill you

[ox7g3n-th13f-001]

omGVGVGGHSJDKLF I TOTALLY FORGOT ANS I JSUT REMEMBEREDD 😍😍😍

out of a fit of rage and self pity i remembered the time two od my friends took turns trying to fit their hand around my upper arm 😭😭😭 they kept talking abt how small it was (i dont mean fhis in a "uwu im so smol and tiny 🤗🤗" please dont think of it this way ill personally shit in your shoes (jokes)) but that was so #anacore and then one of those same guys was like oh i bet i can pribablg lift like more than half your body weight bc we were tlaking about how much we can lift and i sajd i can barwly lift the barbell in gym class (not even that shit is so fuckinf heavy, its 45 pounds and i was maybe like 79 80 ish then (sadly probably higher now 😭😭)) but these were like my biggest ana motivator tbinzg ❤️❤️❤️ another time i told my friends honestly how much i weigh and they looked so fucking shocked like 😱😱😱 and this was when i had doctor drama and the stupid gastroentroengolosust (idk what that means bro) saod i needed to drink 3 FUCKING BOOSTS A DAYYY DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CALS RHAT IS LIKE 900 😭😭😭 good for me my mom only made me drink 1, but even then i usyally threw it away 🤭🤭 . but i hated that doctor bro i wasnt even at my lowest then 🤨🤨 fuck them doctors bro. also next time i go to get my working papers (i didnt go this yr, i was scared tgat thet would say no bc of my weigt (even though i weigh 700000000000 fuckig pounds by now)) i will be stuffing rocks in my bra 🤗, wait thats stupid,,,,,, maybe in my underwear?? bc doctors do that thing w the stethoscope. i used water last time, and that kinda worked?? i could also just make that day a meta day and eat like an almost "normal person" a few hours before my appt.

sorry for the rlly long posts i just have not been on in A WHILEEE so ive been so pent up abt all of this 💀💀

#an0r3c1a #ana rant #th1n$po #b0n3sp0 #tw ed descussion #ed meals #pro for myself #st4rv3 #tw m1a #b0nespo #mealspo

[poisonousquinzel]

.

#we took my two indoor kitties to the vet yesterday and why the hell is everything so expensive #like all together for the three procedures they need its over 3k #and like how the hell are we supposed to have that much money ??? #we can barely afford food at the end of the month like 3k is so fuckig much #and im so scared i just want them to be okay #i cant do anything or focus i just keep thinking about them and crying cause im just so scared i hate this

[2-point-5]

.

#anyway i just figured out why i hate venting to people so much and prefer to just repress it #i vent in tags obv but it's all in the hopes that no one will see them #i am so fuckig scared of coming across as annoying or uninteresting because if i do there's really no reason to keep me around #right? #it's easier to ditch someone if they annoy you #so i don't want to annoy people #and venting is annoying #and every time someone brings up my tag vents i saw im fine but im really not am i #god #i want people to notice me but i don't want people to talk about me #i just #i just want to know people care ig #fucking hell im fucked up #this is dumb sorry #sickly sobs

[pepprs]

im literally convinced i have c*ronavirus. i mean ive been telling myself that for weeks but like actually i think i do rn to the point where im telling myself my days are numbered lol. My anxiety is just rly bad rn like i don’t have any symptoms but im absolutely certain i have it bc i was riding public transportation in br*ghton and i went to London right when things started getting rly bad there and flying home yesterday was fucki ng INSANE... like we were all in such close quarters and in the customs line the staff and cops that were handling us were wearing masks and gloves and scrubs and sitting apart but we weren’t. We had to use the same pens and stand in tight packed lines and spaces and im so fucking abgry. How are you going to order us to Xome home and put us directly in danger like that. And there was no way to tell if anyone had been in contact w someone who had it like we all had to fill out this form and u could check if u had symptoms or had been in contact w someone who had it but either way that didn’t matter for us waiting in line bc we were all bunched together. And the form was fucked too cuz it was just asking abt china but what abt like Italy and Iran and South Korea and Japan and other places where there are outbreaks and ur only worried about China??? And it was a full flight of Americans who had been abroad god knows where and they didnt have disinfectant wipes in the plane or anything like that and we were all sitting together and there’s no way to tell who had symptoms and who didn’t. I’m so fuckig angry. What if someone had it and spread it and now i have it and i hugged my family anyways because it’s been 7 fuckinf weeks since i hugged my family and what if i gave them fucking coronavirus. and they didn’t have hand santiaizng stations at all through any of that like u could only find a bathroom to wash ur hands after u got ur passport checked and ur bags at baggage claim and like. What a cesspool of disease. what if we get sick and die because of this. I am so fucking angry. How is it fair that they got to do that and we didn’t when we’re the ones travelling because they ordered us to!!!!! not to be whatever but they don’t care if we die they just don’t care if we die and im so scared

#death tw #sickness tw #paranoia tw #ask to tag #purrs #fuckin fuming x #covid19 #brighton

[finding-the-daylight]

Today has been a very stressful day, so guess wtf time it is? Drunk Breaking Dawn Pt. 1. Here is what I soberly remember of the movie (I have not watched it since BD2 came out): 

1. There’s a wedding.

2. There’s a honeymoon.

3. There’s swimming in the ocean.

4. There’s an accidental pregnancy.

5. The baby almost kills Bella.

6. The canon incident that we all hate happens.

7. The Volturi evilly laugh. 

Same as Eclipse, my drunken narration of the movie will be below the break.

A brief intro statement, I was 100% sober and just beginning to drink at the beginning of the Eclipse post and progressively got more drunk. For BD1, I’m throwing back before I even start watching this shit show.

- I love the effects of the intro. it’s very calming. THe putting away childish things quote is literally a Bible verse. I hate that Stpehen appropriated Quileute culture, Christian culture, and every culture. I know she’s mormon but sitll. THis shit feels real appropriated.

- Idk why rennee is all happy. she never gave a shit before.

- OMG ALICE TEHCING BELLA TO WALK IN HEELS IS THE CUTEST ICRY.

- carlisle carryign the bench is literally the hottest hting i’ve ever seen fck

- lowkey kinda creeprd out because she’s literally sacrificing her humanity to marry this deud she’s known for like a year but everyone other than jacob is super supportive

- damn she’s looking @ this dreamcatcher and it’s making me sad but tbh that shit probably caused half her nightmares because she’s not native so sleep paralysis (if you know you know).

- DAMN EDWAD RELALY JUST ADMITTED HE’S BEEN A VIRGING FOR OVER 100 YEARS WHAT AB RAVE MAN WE STAN

- BUT FOR REAL WHY IS NO ONE FREAKING TF OUT THAT SHE’S LITERALLY BEGGING TO DIE FOR THIUS DUE?

- he just todl her hes killed people and explained it and it didn’t work she’s still down to clown with this vapire emo boi

- HOW HE’S SMILTING @ HR WTF I AM SO ALONEEEE

- i just wama ne im loved amd ne loved in retun plz

- this dream sequence is awful also fck the volturi is til hate that they never overthrew that crabbyass monarchy bullshit they were powerful enough

- i just wanna be like rosalie when i greow up

- charlie knew shit was off when he saw those crapsk 

- why the HELL is renen actin liks she cares? bitch go the fuck back home

- jessica is the only one with any damn common sense in this whole series talking about they’re too fucking young for this shitt bitch true and itm akes sene now why she was the valedictioajrn 

- SLEEPING AT LAST IS THT GROUP IDK IF YALL HAVE HEARD ANY OF HTEIR OTHER STUFF BUT THEY’RE AMAIZNG AND I USED TO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP # THAT SHIT

- damn id’ be fuckign panicking too your lfie is over hoe 

- stpeheen sto pwiht your racist ass smiling its offensive

- CHARLIE FUCKING DEWEVRE BETTER SOMEONE LOVE HIM PLEASR

- this wedding is gorgoeus though i live for hte fuckj g aestiec 

- OH MY GORD THE PROM SONGGGGGGGG  FCK ME RIGHT IN THE EMO 

- IT JUST HIT ME WHN THEY WRE LOOKI  @ EACH OTHERS EYES THIS BTCH REALLY MARYING AN UNDRSF VAMPIRE HOE this shit is horryighn why was i not scare?

- carlisle is the love of y life

- sth is a lil ray of sunishen 

- i just reaized howd fucked it is that sue and chalrie are starng to catch feelz ut sue knows his daughter is funckugn off with a unded vamp emo iboi

- OMG I FCUKING HATE STEPHENE RACIST ASS I LEGIT MADE AP OST EARLIER SYAING LAURENT WANTED TO DO THE RIGHT THING ANDWOUVLEBE BEND A VEGETATIAN BITCH AND IRENEA CONFIRMED FCK THIS SHIT IM OUT ANG ANGRY

- charlie is gget ing drunk as hell my spiritn animel

- jesica is smart and beautiful she needs t os stop being jealous and petty know ya wotht girlie you got itl

- I SWEAR WHEN IGET MARRIED OSMEDAY IF ANYONE GIVES A SPEECH LIKE THIS I WILL PERSONALLY DRAGT HER ASS OUT.

- edwar lves her so much fck im all alone\

- how haoph hacob is when they hig i hate canonn they were best friends fc,

- jacob stay the fck outta her sex life she;s been wanting this for ad dman year fkc steohe let them jsut befriend

- steh is so swert but e is a chidl fck the is reacist plot bulshit

- CHARLIE DESEVRD BETTR FCK THIS PLOT FOR REAL I HAE CANON

- bela looks os ad she knows it’s goodbye but edward’s family is all smiling because they have her now hwat fthe ckc

- jac0bs cryng my heart brke

- i love bineg dunk 

- the scene isn rio is my faorite isn any of the movies eveyrhting looks warm and happy

- this bich can drive ab oat too damn he can just fod evryhin cant he

- CARLISLE BOUGHT A WHOEL DAMN ISALND FOR HIS WIFE AND I CANT ECVE GET A TEXT BACK? 

- deis this honeymon scene make anuone else unconmfy becuae same

- marying a vampire would be horrying af but also hot af and good af becuase htye oculd love so much and protect you from everythign fck 1-/10 woukd efeel safe

- bwll gaving a panic attakc ism e anyt tinme i try talking to an attractive man

- slepeign at last fckign ti up agin bit ch theis m yshit 

- when he said it was the best night i cred 

- tstoehe added the chess game like this shit is a hoje but i would love to play chess on my honemodn idk how uut  i want a man to each me but not mansplin

- WHY THE FUCJ AR THEY SO CTE ON THIS AMN HONEYMOON?

- i know i sadn it was horryig but i want a hotass vamp emo boi husband plas 

- damn jacob is being too emo she aint really gonan be ded for ever youll see her agianb itch

- ‘CULLENS ARE NOT A DNAGER TO THE TOWN OR TRUBE” BITCH IB EG TO FUCKIN DIFFER THIS SHIT BIOLOGICAL WARDARE RACIST ASS STPEHEN WRITING THIS FUCKING BULLTSIT

- ‘NONE OF THEM BELONG TO THEMSEVLES ANYGMROE” - SOMEONE SAID IT BITCH THSI SHIT IS FUCKRE IP

- i fucking hates these vamp racist bitches but i want a nonracist va,p husband bitch thus hot afck

- how tf does she not know shes rpegr yet eatin this weid ass shit?

- THESE FKERS BEEN AROUND FOR CENTURIES TLAKING BOU IDK IF ITS VEEN POSSIBEL BTICH YU SHOULD FUCKUGN KNO BY NOW

- ROVERT SPOEAKIN G PORTGUEVE IS SO KING ATRACTIV

- poor bella her life chaned so uqick and she[s soc scared fck dcnaon

- POOR CHARLIE I HATE THIS HE DESERVES TO BE LOVED AND TURTH TOLD

- ROSALEI IS THE EST 

- “YOU LOOK TERRBLE’ THIS IS THE FRIENDHSOP WE WANT WHYT THE FCK DOES FOPSTHE RUIN EALL THIS SHIT

- CARLISE IS FUNCIGJ HOT

- LIRALY BITCH I JUST WNAT A PURE FIRENDHSIP WUTH JACOB AND BELLA ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE FJC CAON

 - this montage is turopy a f when youre drunk waht the helc por jake thugh

- im sorry but i;n laughign my ass off at these fuckugn wolf vocie overs lmaoooo this shit hilarious

- SETH HAS SUCH A PURE HEART WHTY TF DID SPTEHEH RUIB HUS FUCJING CHILDHOOD BULTHIST

- WHY IS EVEYRIJE BSUCG AFUCKUGN BUTCG TO LEAH???? SHE DESEVRED THE FUCKING WORLD STPEHEN IS A RACISHT BITCHHHHHH

- calisbe is fos unicngn hot

- i just reaized robert is like the best fuckugn actor like this diolaguge is wha k as fuck btu he’s acitng all emo boi oscar worhty shti

- they realy had her fuckin drink blodo i hate cannjnonnn

- ifelel the same as kaje watchign this 

- but carlisle’s prety face made it all fuckig hetter

- FUCKRT HIS SHTI CHARLIE DESERVED BETTER HE’S THE BEST DAD FCK CANO NFUCK STEPRHNE 

- okay ut id is cute as fkc whe nedward hears the baby 

- esme and calrisle wilougn to risk their lives for bella i cryi

- fkc i really do hate cnaon because jake is acting liek an adult now and trying to do the honrble thig bue he should be a hpaoy chidl 

-  resnemsien is a ficking ridjcils name and we all fuckj nnew

- i ahte this part i’n bot even wathcing this shit rgros me rout 

- WHY THDID FUCK DID THIS BITCH HAVE A FUKCUNG SYRINGE OG VENOM LAYING AORUND? HOE!?!?!

- literlaiy fuick the dynamics of this whole moty hfknfucjg storyline plot bitch

- LEAH AND STHE DESERVERD BETTER

- SO DID JACOB

- SO DID ALL THE WOLFPAKC STPEHEN IS A RACIST AS SHOE

- aw hell here the fucks we hgo with theu ickgn im************** bulshit i ghate cnaojn canon can suck ad ick

- YES BILLY DEFEND YOUR CHIDL 

- rosalie is literally perfect when cnai b ehr 

- im real glad im drunk rin now because ioculd nto sit throguh this shit sober

- imp&******* is the worst plotline fkc]

- bit iamgiben falling alseo lookin gsick and waking up fhot as uck goals

- this sogn making me cry literlalu imcruing ims o alone lmao

- rheye really ended htoe move wirh red eyws lmaoooo

- hodl the fick up a damn minute stpeehebn producre htis cufkcng shit?

- now heres the hoes iv’ve been waiting on burnt the monarch fuckwits i hate thes epompis fuckers

- OVERTURBR THESE FUCKSERS THEY HAVE TIOO MUCH POWR 

CARLISR COULD FUCKING D OI T I HATE CNAON BRING THE VAMPIRE DECONOARCY

- OOHG BRUNNO MARS BRINGNG THE FUCKING SIMPSSHOES ANTHM I NEEDLOVE IT

#Twilight #Twilight renaissance #Breaking Dawn #Breaking Dawn Part One #Breaking Dawn review #simp ass hoes #simp ass hoes fandom #we hate canon #WE HATE CANON HERE

[heavenlyexiled]

                                   britt’s long ass cheesy thank you post.

                                             200 FOLLOWERS! ! ! ! 

it’s been a wild couple of years to get this far. and i’m just, so grateful to have you all here. i know i post a lot ooc and it’s kinda spamming the dash most of the time, i apologize for that. i try not to be annoying, i just get so excited over things or want to apologize for lack of threads & shit. it’s weird, i’m weird and idk why you’re all still here.

i never really? expected to get this far? like, it’s crazy to think 200 of you follow me. ALTHOUGH. HALF OF THAT IS PORN BOTS. yeah, i see you bitches. y’all mvps because for some unknown reason you don’t unfollow. but i mean hey, welcome. mvps right there. HHJDGHHJFSGHHK

granted, the count goes from 200 to 199 which y’know. i don’t mind. y’all do you! but aNYWAY! thank you guys for following me. i’m so sorry that i don’t? interact with half of you. i want to so bad i just get so anxious but i’m trying to do better at reaching out! i love all of you and never expected so many of you to really? be down to interact with elizabeth! when i made her, i didn’t really think anyone would want to write with me because of how... “different” her story was. i was scared about having an oc tbh. i know some people don’t enjoy ocs, which si fine, their choice! respected! but i never thought i’d have this many followers who are CHILL AFFFFF!! ! ! ! i’ve thought about deleting elizabeth and to stop roleplaying all together but THANK GOD I DIDN’T!!! i’ve made some amazing friends here, people who are just overall sweethearts and make me smile whenever i see them on my dash!!! now it’s time for me to fuckin smother these kermits with L O V E! ! ! 

@antibuttons - OF COURSE PAIGE IS FIRST. paige, my love, my wife. MY BEST FRIEND!!! i don’t even know how long we’ve been friends now. but you can literally make me smile any fucking day. we’re on like some same fucking brain level shit. it’s terrifying how we’re in each other’s heads almost every time we talk. GET OUT! ! ! ! !  you help instill confidence in myself and my characters / portrayal of characters whenever i get so insecure i cry to u about it! !  !! i think you’re the only person I KNOW FOR A FACT won’t get annoyed by me and that i can talk about our characters with. like it doesn’t scare me to talk about it with you. other people? FUCKING TERRIFIED ! ! ! !  you’ve been here from day one of elizabeth’s blog. we met on my ellie ( from tlou ) blog and JUST BECAME BEST FRIENDS SO F A S T ! ! ! it’s crazy! and even though you hate asking me to do icons for you / draw things for you. I WILL STILL DO IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND YOU DESERVE THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD!  !! ! 

@rabbitsolver - MY OTHER W I F E ! !  ! ! ! you’ve also been around in the early days of liz back with her outlast verse! the outlast fandom really being the first fandom to actually welcome liz so openly! you welcomed her with arms wide and I FUCKIG LOVE YOU! i apologize for distancing myself from u, i just get anxious and unsure when to message you / what to talk about! BUT YOU. ARE. AN. ABSOLUTE. FUCKING. ANGEL AND I WOULD KILL 500000 PEOPLE FOR YOU!!!! you’ve been so kind to me and have made me laugh so many times i HAVE SCREENSHOTS TO REMEMBER WHAT MAKES ME LAUGH JHSDHJFSJHHDGHHFD

@ennobledsinner -  Z A A A A F F F  F F F ! ! !  ! sorry if u didnt wanna be tagged in this, too late ur in it, beech. HFHGDHKFGKH I LOVE YOU! we only met this year and i think like?? a month agao?? CANT REMEMBER TBH but i know we haven’t known each other long, but i’d actually take the blame if u murder someone. im r e a d y. you are like??? the tru mvp here. you send in memes and like, i knwo it takes me 84 years to actually fcukin write them but YOU’RE NOT AFRAID TO KICK MY DOORS DOWN WITH THEM! and! you’re so open and willing to ship with liz! i never really get the chance to ship with ehr because i don’t want people to feel uncomfortable ;;;; i got like paige and a few other  people for liz having a romantic ship with muses  but not a lot! and i’m always so scared to ask! but you wERE SO WILLING AND DOWN AND I ACTUALLY CRY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT! you’re so sweet and your writing is something that i genuinely haven’t seen much of, style-wise i mean! it’s so good and like reading a book! detailed and written more like a drabble between two muses and like!?!?! IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL! i’m crying. you’re so sweet and genuine and like i’m very grateful for you sticking around uwu, i hope our friendship continues to grow BC LIKE!?!?!? I L O V E Y O U ! ! ! !  SO MUCH!!!

there’s so many more of you guys to thank, i don’t want to spam y’all however, so just please know that all of you mean so much to me. i’m very awkward with my words but just understand that even if i didnt write soemthing its bc i’m also very tired and want to get this out before i got back down to 199 again JHDFSHJGDH BUT I DO APPRECIATE SO MANY OF YOU! this is such an unorganized fucking thank you post. BUT!

thank you for 200 followers!

#* ！ * ooc. * ！ * #im so tired. #BUT YES THANK YOU ALL!

[fuckthisf33ling]

my depressiong hits in waves

ive been doing a pretty good job recently keeping even the slightest feeling of it at bay

but working 70 hours a week can only distract you so much from the bitter reality that creeps in like the tide does late at night when im in my bed wishing i had done everything differently

and it isnt simple

it has many many faces and many many names

one of the faces is regret

i regret moving here and attempting to start my life over because that shit only works in movies and my life is not a cinematic adventure, friends

the next face is emptiness

i feel alone i feel drained and useless and although i have had to do a lot of thing for myself by myself recently i still do not feel like i have it in me to continue to live this oh so determined life style ive been preaching about

the other faces are brutal and just as hard of a pill to swollow

they dont have names or anything for me to specify them with they just..... hit

like a car running into a brick wall they hit

the triggers range from a song that plays on my playlist that i have heard for the 1000th time today but never gets old until i really start to think of how that one time some guy told me that repetaveness can be a form of psycotic behavior especially when expecting a different outcome

another recent trigger i have been having to shake off is seeing familar faces

some guy on the bus today looked like an old friend i havent seen in years and when he smiled at me my gut turned at the idea of what i have become since the last time i saw his innocent childhood face

im not coping as well as i would like to be, and i dont want to say im drowning in sorrows or suffocating under this pressure but i am not breathing as easily as i used to

im not doing as well as i was before

or maybe i am, im just not realizing it because i am lost

more lost than before

all of these faces and waves all come crashing down after a long day and it makes me feel like the gum under someones shoe

sticky, icky, grimy and a pain in the ass

sometimes i like to use social media to make it seem like my life is together but dear friends i must ask you to read between the lines

i have not thought about suicide for several months

until 2 nights ago

the thought of being asleep for eternity kind of gave me a sense of comfort, familiarity

i wish more than anythig these thoughts would stay away where they belong locked in my subconsious never to breach the barior and make me wish i was fuckig dead

but here i am, at 12:41 in the morning laying in bed alone cringing at the wreckage my life has become

im sorry if i worry anyone trust me this is no suicide note

i just want to say i will never have enough

enough things to distract me enough alcohol to numb me enough love to feel loved enough caree inflicted success enough shelter to feel safe enough anything to feel like something

im starving for an end and im scared that eventually i will find it too

please dont take this wrong

im just a little tired of trying

goodnight

[injuredfairywing]

Through whatever the fuck happens in this, I absolutely REFUSE for his projections to work and for them to make me bitter.

I’m tired of feeling hurt from this, but I’m even more exhausted at allowing myself to be affected so much. I care, but I need to stop. No more…

My heart hurts, like it literally physically hurts. I can’t keep having this my constant emotion. I can’t even ask a simple question without being snapped at. I can’t ask anything about anything that’s ever going on without being yelled at (defensively) and treated like I’m belittling and putting them down. Literally all I am doing is asking a fucking question. For example: i just asked if he knew if the mail room is open even if the office is closed. He snapped at me, yelling unstructured sentences/phrases at me and then said “I just woke up. I haven’t had a chance to go!!! Fuck!!” …. When I was literally just asking… a question. I don’t know what to do anymore. I literally want to bang my head on a ffucking wall when talking to him. He’s so quick to his emotions, being quick to anger and reactions, causing a complete uproar and inability to comprehend what the fuck is actually happening. and I can’t fucking handle this anymore. I’m genuinely cannot handle it. Either I have to take it, and just let him go off and basically say nothing, just be yelled at, or I put my foot down and I’m called a fucking bitch. PLEASE CALL ME A BITCH. If someone standing up for the emotional abuse they’re enduring makes them a bitch THEN PLEASE MAKE ME THE BIGGEST FUCKING BITCH OF THEM ALL. because I CANT. TAKE. THIS. But I’m stuck in a fucking lease and I have no way out. Im so uneasy. My head hurts.

Oh and he just tested positive for covid and I know there’s no way I won’t get it, so yayyyyyyy to this. Yay yay yay. Stuck in the house together for two weeks. How fucking magical.

Im so fucking numb to anything around him. I’m so fucking done saying literally anything. I can’t ask a question, it turns into an argument because I’m always somehow belittling him. When its like…. Why THE FUCK would i waste my fucking time dating someone I felt the goddamn fucking need to fucking belittle, ESPECIALLY how often I’m accused of it?? I can’t express how I feel because all I get in return is “okay” “if that’s how you feel” “I don’t have anything to say. Im just thinking about what you said” FUCKING SAY SOMETHING. I GET HES SCARED. Like fuckig shit he acts like it’s not scary as fuck to constantly voice your feelings KNOWING the person isn’t going to reciprocate. Its hard to voice feelings in general. Im so tired of voicing mine. Either that or I get “why do you have to bring this up everyday” dude because you treat me like this e v e r y daaaaaaay. So when I call you out I’m now a bitch and the problem to what is happening. I understand. I need to end this so fucking soon but I don’t know what to do. How to.

I’m also over the fact I can’t ever talk. Theres no connection. He wants to shut me out. He’s shutting himself out from himself. He wont talk to me. I’m getting nothing. BUT IF IM NAKED oh that’s a different story. And if I call it out, I’m a bitch.

Writing this all out. Wow. Its so hard to not call myself a stupid fucking bitch for not accepting the fact I know this type of behavior was already slightly seen before we moved in together. And now I feel trapped and suffocated. I want to go back to feeling alive but this relationship is literally draining all of my energy. All of it.

[ichimatchu]

a list of every paranormal event that happened to me or family just because

this happened in one house. okay, so one that i remember vividly, was when i was in 7th grade. i was chilling in my room, and my mom walks in to ask me how did i get there. i was confused, because i was sitting in there all day drawing. she then told me she saw someone who looked like either me or my sister, run out of my sisters room, into my moms room. and when she looked into her room, no one was there. we both looked at each other and ran the fuck upstairs bc me and my family do NOT fuck with the paranormal.

another time in 7th grade, i was in my room laying on my bed, again, trying to sleep. my closet was one of those sliding door mirrors, and i hated that thing. i would always think my reflection would move or some shit. well one night i nearly shit myself because i was staring at the mirror, and at the time i had three creepy ass glass dolls for whatever reason, and they MOVED and fell to the floor. ones head shattered and fell off and ROLLED TO MY FUCKING BED yo i screamed so loud i woke up the neighbourhood i swear. after that i had these half cracked and shattered dolls sitting on my shelf (because im a stubborn mf) and eventually my mom said “im tired of your ghost shit” and threw them away and it was a blessing i swear. we moved bc fuck that shit

at another house, that i swear had literal demons in it-was when i was in 5th grade. i was laying down trying to fall asleep for school- it was around 11pm. so, my closet at the time had a gap at the top of it, because it was broken. and i was so scared of that closet. because on that night i saw a face staring at me. it had a lot of hair and i was scared shitless. i screamed for my mom and dad (who was staying over for a few days) and they ran into my room and got me out of there. i fell asleep on the couch, and the next morning they said they heard me calling for them IN MY ROOM when i was right in front of them on the couch. 

and when we moved out of that house, there was one room. one room in the house no on goes into, it was empty. the energy in there felt so...wrong. it was in the basement, at the very end of a dark hallway. well, when we moved out of there, i was forced to sweep up all dust in that room. so, already sweating with a broom in my hand, i start doing my business. well not even five minutes into that room i hear something like. a growl? and the door FUCKIG SLAMS SHUT. i ran out of there so fucking fast 

my sister heard growls in her room too. also all the dogs we had over the years would bark at this one closet in the basement. for no reason. and i would always hear like, a ball bouncing downstairs when i was in my room. it was always the mf basement...

Another time, lmao, was when me and my friends walked back from the cemetery. (bad idea, i know) well we walked into my front door, there was like, six of us, and we had these stairs beside each other, one went upstairs, the other went into the basement. so, we all walked upstairs to my room. 5 minutes later my sister comes into my room and was like “ya’ll gunna get your friend downstairs?” and we were all like ???everyones here??? and my sister was like. shook. she said that when we all walked in through the front door, my mom and her saw a figure behind all of us walk downstairs into the basement, when we walked upstairs. we were so scared we all went down there in like. a pack and looked everywhere. nothing. still sends shivers down my spine to this day

#long post #these are just MY experiences dont even let me get started on all my family #ichi.txt #paranormal

[suddenlyitgotreallyquietand-blog]

im going into recovery

My name was Diana.

I still have an eating disorder as I type this , I have a fucked up mentality that has lead me to spiral out of control and worsen over the years. My bad habits made me lose track of who I was, I changed so much because of it. But I am not my illnesses. The pro ana community helped me realize that I wasn’t battling this disorder alone, however simultaneously painted a picture in my head that it was okay to starve and belittle myself in order to fit a mold that wasn’t realistic to begin with. Those pictures I reblogged and tagged body goals, most of them, were bodies of famished and unstable bodies that fell victims of anorexia.

I was a victim. I made myself believe that the outcome would be tenfold when in reality, in the real fuckig world outside of the pro ana lifestyle , you either chose to recover or you die....

I don’t want to die like this. I want to die happy and free. In this place I am the complete opposite. It’s toxic. I am not okay here.

I didn’t want to get better but wanting to recover from depression helped open my eyes to a world I had so long forgotten.

I was finally able to reach out and see a therapist. I am attending group therapy once a week, and I am currently on my 7th day on medication.

I have been sober for a week and I have never felt more stable in years. I’ve laughed real laughs and smiled true smiles and gone shopping in public and even socialized a little...All while sober.. I ’m tearing up...

I’ve battled this illness for years and years and years but I’m done... it’s finally going to get better. No more bad days.

I’m ready to let the light in my life that had dwindled but was never completely out. The spark in my eyes is slowly coming back, my girlfriend told me so. I believe her and trust her so much.

I’m ready to chose to recover every single day.

I don’t expect to not relapse. But I understand that even that is a part of recovery. Relapsing is not a failure. Failure is giving up entirely. I’m ready to become and grow and love myself. I’m ready to forgive myself for the damage, to get beautiful tattoos over my scars and to treat my body right after betraying it for much too long.

With this I encourage anyone that might read this to please consider getting help. Even if you think you’re too far gone...I promise you are not broken.

If I can chose to get better after eight years of hell so can you. It’s been a rough ride and I know it’s not over. I’m making peace with my demons.

They don’t scare me anymore. I am in control.

I am going to live a happy af and healthy lifestyle. Fuck this. I’m out ✌🏼💓

#personal #feb 18 2018 #4:20 pm #ha

[slowpoke79]

ive been telling myself for so long that im almost out of here, i can almost move out and ill be free to keep myself from committing suicide for so long and my parents coming and telling me that ill never be able to get away from them bc i wont be able to make it on my own sure isnt helping. i just want to kill myself. im so scared ill be fuckig broken for the rest of my life

#suicide ///.g.ggf

[themeltedheadaches]

ALL THE ASKS DO IT unless ur too busy #collegelife love u ❤❤❤❤

LOVE U BOO never too busy for u (also using this to procrastinate on my french composition so)

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

i eat my cereal………………….dry…………..

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

YES that’s literally my life now. i love it but also my nose was running today all the way to get coffee in downtown. i was in THREE LAYERS it is not even DECEMBER

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

answered! :)

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

if i’m going to be a bitch and just get plain coffee, i’m gonna get it black bc otherwise i’ll just have a white mocha or a cappuccino or something (the ppl at the campus coffeeshop know who i am. they know my order. “one sin-ful latte coming up!” thank u for fueling my Addition.) i take my tea with milk and sugar if it’s black tea ((earl gray)) or with honey if it’s green tea. if it’s white tea i’ll sometimes have it with sugar, and if it’s something like peppermint or lavender or chamomile i’ll just have it plain. IM A PICKY BITCH

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

i used to be! but now i like it. 

6: do you keep plants?

YES pls pray for them

7: do you name your plants?

answered! :)

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

poetry! i like to watercolor too, actually, though i left them at home :(

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

YES i miss my car bc that’s when i would have Prime Time to sing and hum to myself or along to whatever song i live for at the moment. (i’m into a musical rn and i can’t yell the lyrics out i’m so ANnoyed Always)

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

answered!

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

i have fucking countless at home……. at college there are quite a few too! as in: “hypothetically, vodka?,” “fuckinG,,,WHAT,” “[blow twice] [slurp sound] [tongue click] noice.,” “SHPEAKERSH OHN!,” “over there! like, over there? over there. over there?,” “just going to go kick some nutria,” and of course, the classic, “same, but jewish.” 

12: what’s your favorite planet?

URANUS actually tho it’s uranus. i had to do my planet project on it in the 4th grade and i gave my brother AND mother silent treatment for two days bc they laughed at its name. i’m very protective

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

i saw my favorite puppy on campus again today!! he’s grown so much!! also my poetry professor’s wife had a successful surgery! #GoMeredith 

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

SO MESSY………………….listen. @michelle i’ve seen ur room, and i would just accept that that is how we live now and it’s fine. it would also be aesthetic as fuck tho tbh. full of yarn and animal fur. and books. and junk food #RIFP

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

if saturn’s rings were a meter long, they would be 10000 times thinner than a razorblade! what the fuckkkkkkkkkkk

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

UHHHHH fucking;;;;;;;;what how am i supposed to #represent my italian fmaily with this DISGUSTING question,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, jk i fuckig love risotto, just ur basic bitch peas and cheese risotto and i’ll cry. also?? gnocchi!! holy shiiiiiiiit. 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

my hair has such good color i’d actually rather shave it all off than dye it :/

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

HHHHHHHH yesterday. LITERALLY yesterday. there was a french club meeting that served cheese and bread! so i took my Good Friend WIliam (who is not in french, unlike me), and we walk into the room, and i say “helLO!” bc that’s good manners, when you’re going to just get food and leave, and it’s dead silent. i get food and leave. william has told everyone in our entire hall twice.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

answered!

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

i’m so biased……….but……..brown………..

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

my brown leather one! it’s actually super fake leather and i got it from target!! but it’s cute and small and somehow fits everything i need to put in it, including 3 beers and my wallet and 2 phones last weekend. i’ve had for 4 years now 

22: are you a morning person?

yes! i like waking up early actually 

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

go on youtube and waste time, or walk around campus/downtown with friends, or shop!

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

yes

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my cousin’s RV

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

my brown leather boots! wow there’s a trend here lmao. actually i’ve had two pairs of these bc my first was falling apart?? i used them first in a cosplay……in the 7th grade………..(i was matt from death note and to this day i’m STILL not fucking ashamed, i had the wig and goggles and everything.) i love them and wear them all the time, they’re so comfy and warm and stylish and i feel like a hacker badass everytime i wear them. still to this day.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

bubblegum gives me hives i do Not enjoy it :(

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset!

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

one of my friends down the hall will call things/ppl “cute as pie” completely genuinely!! i love her!!

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

oh yeah

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

i fucking love them thanks end of story. wearing them makes me feel cozy and put together and also atm my dorm floor is Disgusting. i sleep with them when it’s cold and my feet are dry! i have so many fun socks it’s great. i love them. socks are highly underrated.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

my friend and i were driving around evERYWHRE basically, we went from pasadena/san marino to like. hollywood all the way to beverly hills and back and it was wonderful, we stopped 3 times to chase stray cats, take shitty pictures, go to iHop, and almost died several times bc hE SNAPS AND DRIVES at NIGHT on LA FREEWAYS

33: what’s your fave pastry?

croissants, followed by scones, followed by coffeecake 

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

bunny the stuffed bunny! she’s pretty large, like as long as my torso! she’s white fabric with colored fluffy bits and very floppy, loose ears. she has green button eyes that i had my grandma sew on bc otherwise she actually scared me a bit when i was a kid, but i loved her anyway bc my great-grandmother sewed her for me in the first place. bunny still lives on my bed at home! 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

YES! i ddon’t use them very often though bc i feel like i should save them for something. rip me

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

stromae hands down

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

clean….i’m so lazy tho

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

sudden loud noises, being startled, being touched physically when i don’t expect it, someone making assumptions about me, being dismissed, being told what i want or what i’m going to do, borrowing something of mine w/o telling me, being interrupted 

39: what color do you wear the most?

HONESTLY black bc i’m an emo bitch

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

one i’ve been wearing a lot is the fork ring i got from the portland saturday market! it’s literally the tines of a vintage fork separated from the part you hold, sanded down so it’s round, and looped into a ring shape. i fidget with it a lot and it reminds me of my mom and step-dad, bc i got it when i was with them. i wear it mostly everyday tbh

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

new american best friend by olivia gatwood in general, or thick as thieves by megan whalen turner when i re-read it out loud to my mom on the ride up to college

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

yeeeeeeS i have several! the bistro, which is on campus: it’s so comfortable, it has couches everywhere and board games and so many books and zines and the walls are half chalkboard so there’s always art or snark everywhere. the music is super eclectic (it was lorde yesterday, today when i went in it was old-school 90s rap), plus it’s student run so the coffee and pastries and food are SO GOOD. the archive, which is downtown, is really boujee as fuck but it’s SO COOL. it’s so fucking aesthetic, with brown leather stools and uncomfortable booths and vintage books and stuff everywhere. for half the day, it’s a coffeeshop, and after 7, it becomes a bar. then back home, of course, coffee bean and tea leaf is the classic

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

half my hall when we went star tripping at the start of the year!

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

honestly the last time it was genuine was probably around…….january? i was in so much emotional pain and grief, but i was surrounded by family who loved me and were in that same pain and were so happy i was with them to help and be there with them. i wasn’t serene per say, or at peace, but there was this equilibrium….

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yes!

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

my RA told me this one this morning: did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory in france this morning? de-brie everywhere! 

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

tomatoes 

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

spiders, YES

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i do…………………….. it was the soundtrack to romeo et juliette (2010)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

everything; stickers, pressed flowers, rocks, receipts 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

the easiest one is when i think of my roommate, davey the dog’s barking cover of “do the hustle”

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

ew

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no, yes, no, no, it was okay

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

ME, BITCH

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

chugged an an entire pitcher of water to prove i could, three times

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

genuineness! vulnerability! eye contact! fidgeting!

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

made me feel PUMPED, and of course i did

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

i am both

59: what’s your favorite myth?

uHHHHHHHHHH i love the myth of beowulf actually bc i had to do a project on it once, i have a soft spot for it, i love all myths tho wtf

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

YES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, recently some of my favorites are the entirety of a montage of a dream deferred by langston hughes, “totem sonnets” by sherman alexie, “on earth we’re briefly gorgeous” by ocean vuong, “one art” by elizabeth bishop

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

stupid gifts are nonexistent :/

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

noooo

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

yes lmao…….i kinda leave them be but i don’t like it if i let someone borrow them and they trash them uGH

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Pitch Black

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

YES

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

morning glories, lavender, baby’s breath!

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

very good, thankfully, bc i am in oregon

68: what’s winter like where you live?

in LA, it’s cold and sweet and late and breathless and i adore it

69: what are your favorite board games?

jenga, clue, ??

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

NONONONONO

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

peppermint for mornings, earl gray for evenings!

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

yes, sadly

73: what are some of your worst habits?

biting the skin around my fingers, bouncing my knees incessantly, procrastinating on my french compositions……

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

well there’s this amazing person who i met in freshman year german…….;)

75: tell us about your pets!

i WISH

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

yes :(

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink of course

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i am the true hateclub: i don’t react. do not give them power. they Feed off of your Hatred

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

get me flowers, surprise me with chocolate, come up to me and compliment me on my writing, etc!!

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

at home my walls are a soft orangey-peach, which is picked bc i love it. here, my walls are very very white, which i did not pick, but am neutral towards.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

circuit-board chips busted open

82: are/were you good in school?

ehhhhhhh

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

MELODRAMA

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

yes! a minimalistic double-delight rose for my great-grandmother, “love ya!” in my grandpa’s handwriting, maybe a nutshell with a crown over it (for the “king of infinite space” bit in hamllet), possibly “soyez réaliste, demandez l’impossible!” (be realistic, demand the impossible!) from the french student revolution in the 60s

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

somewhat, def hawkeye or the young avengers bc i’m basic :/

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

the only one i’ve rlly ever listened to is fucking danger days, so i worship them obviously

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

i think ppl should make their own agendas :/ however, i have deeply loved secondhand lions, up, moonlight, the grand budapest hotel, and other basic bitch things

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

impressionism!! aaaaaaa!!! also just shove me in front of abstract art and i’ll fall for it!!! 

89: are you close to your parents?

so so so so close to my mom and step-dad, on okay terms with my dad

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

listen to me. I LOVE SEATTLE. art! fish market! weird side streets! mean street art! bitchy coffee!! neon everywhere!! a big fuckin needle in the sky!

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

ITALY THIS SUMMER IM SO EXCITED i’m gonna meet all my mom’s friends from her semester abroad that she’s kept, i’m gonna see what she saw when she was my age, i’m gonna see where my dad’s family is from maybe if we go south???, i’m gonna see all the places and things she used to tell me about to get me to dream big and want to see the world and experience what’s out there!! aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

depends on the pasta

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

down bc i’m fucking lazy and also inept when it comes to doing things with hair

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

my friend across the hall from me, who is now 19 years of bitchiness!

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

stay in, study, maybe go to a kickback tho

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

lol i put them off until my computer ceases to function altogether 

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

zodiac obviously

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

fucking…….summer?? i did!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

“feelings” by hayley kiyoko, “vacation town” by the front bottoms, “february” by beach bunny, “hard feelings/loveless” by lorde, “moon river” by henri mancini, “let me in” by flor, “a million miles away” by the plimsoles, “girls like me” by bonnie hayes, “love my way” by the psychedelic furs, the entire legend of zelda soundtrack, “place, je passe” from the mozart l’opera rock soundtrack, etc etc

#ask

[klonpa]

holiday opinions / moods

halloween : nostalgic at first but then i remember im scared easily and then i =(

thanksgiving : useless i dont like Any of this food i dont even likr turkey nor do i know any of this side of the family so im just gonna eat biscuits and die / im sorry i cant hear u over my Chirstmas Holiday Cheer

christmas : ULTIMATE NOSTALGIA. i love winter. happy memories ??? so many. snow ??? pretty fuckin good .

new years : Reflection Time. also nostalgia. just a little. kinda bittersweet

valentines day : some nostalgia , either indifferent/lonely, I LOVE GF, or im just so fuckig gay in general depending on relationship status and emotional state

st patties day : Hey Im Born Here ! also i love green and clovers. underappreciated. idc abt all this getting drunk stuff give me my rainbows pots of gold and clovers and im set

april fools : Dont Really Care ! some people have fun a nd im happy for them but im not one for malintented tricks !

4th july : fireworks are =S but sometimes good , all i can think abt is 1. hot dogs and 2. the time i watched the sonic ova on 4th july bc i learned that sonic put up his middle finger in the japaness version

thers no more holidays i can think of

#mine #long post // #Sory for all these long posts im coping alshdkshslsjsldisls