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smalltragedy · 3 years

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* herman tommeraas, cis man + he/him | you know donovan mercer, right? they’re twenty one, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, four months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ice boy by corbin like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole fear hidden behind a stoic stare, bleeding from your nose and from your gums, and the night sky with all its stars, with all its mystery and unknown thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 15th, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

yes hi i did bring ducky back. i promised. please love him jst the same im sry he had 2 go fr a while.

ABUSE, VIOLENCE, DRUG ABUSE, EYE INJURY, GANG MENTIONS TW.

mini playlist.

father ;; the front bottoms / ice boy ;; corbin / lose yourself ;; eminem / my own worst enemy ;; lit / say it ain’t so ;; weezer / maps ;; yeah yeah yeahs / star stopping ;; lil peep / benz truck ;; lil peep / trauma ;; nf / northern downpour ;; panic! at the disco / your graduation ;; modern baseball.

statistics.

full name: donovan mercer.

nickname(s): ducky.

birthday: march 15th, 1999.

zodiac: pisces sun, aquarius moon, aquarius ascending.

label: the despondent.

hometown: hell’s kitchen, new york.

sexuality: bisexual (bt not out).

pinterest.

biography.

born in hell’s kitchen to vinny mercer and a mother who ran out of the hospital as fast as she could, as soon as she was able. she’d gone so quick that she’d never given ducky a middle name - just donovan. the younger brother of mercy (shoutout 2 bri)

his father’s the right-hand man of a well known mob boss named lars amaretto, and so, you can imagine the kind of environment ducky (& mercy) grew up in. weapon & drug dealings, interrogations, violence around every corner. a brutal way of living, no place to raise two children.

implied abuse tw // their father was not kind, or merciful - and ducky was a runt compared to mercy, small and sensitive and kinder than his brother. weak, and filled with softness, with big brown eyes and a smile that should’ve been able to melt ice - but it didn’t. and it never did.

he cried often, and was punished often for it until he learned to stop crying - at least in front of their father, and mercy too, at some point. only in the comfort of his room, with doors locked and blinds drawn closed. implied abuse end of tw

he dreamed, too, dreamt often. he’d been obsessed with outer space since childhood, as long as he could remember. school had once shown man landing on the moon, and ducky wanted that. wanted to be that, wanted to be there, up with the stars, discovering the unthinkable.

abuse mention // but it was discouraged, heavily so - projects destroyed by an angry fist only to be reconstructed to the best of ducky’s ability, with mercy’s help, all throughout the night. he’d saved up for a telescope when he was thirteen, but it’d been destroyed almost immediately when discovered. not a day went by that their father didn’t tell ducky that he was, first and foremost, stupid - and would always be. end of abuse mention

to the point where he stopped trying, simply. he never graduated high school.

abuse mention // anxiety mention // anyways … at the age of fifteen, he’d have enough. he was sick of the abuse, the pain - the crying behind closed doors, the sneaking around, the constant feeling of needing to escape, impending doom, anxiety attacks in the shower and in school bathrooms and at the back of the bus where nobody sat besides him because he was - that boy, the son of that man, the brother of that brute. he’d been a teenager and he’d already been an outcast by all means - an outcast in his family, no matter how hard he tried to appease vinny, and an outsider everywhere else.

the plan took months of preparation, paper ripped out from the back of his school notebook and stuffed beneath his mattress, details of his escape from a checklist of essential items to makeshift maps of bus routes to different cities.

all for nothing, the moment vinny discovered it, the edge of a map sticking out after a rushed morning.

heavy abuse tw // violence tw // it’d been the same day he’d gotten the nickname - ducky - the way the wound wrapped below his mouth, and the way it’d begun to heal - puckered, at first, like a duck’s bill. a better name than eyepatch, at the very least. the scar’d run from the arch of his left brow, across his eye, down his cheek, and below his lip. his eye sustained injury, and not allowed to see a doctor about it, it never healed properly.

eye injury // corneal scarring, impairing his left eye. astronaut dreams destroyed, but not in a matter of seconds. in the matter of an hour, maybe more - and that’d been much, much worse.

he stopped trying to run away after that. tried to be more like their father, more like mercy - more brutish, less feeling. spoke less, and less. spoke hardly at all, unless spoken to first.

still didn’t matter. still lived his days in fear, still knew it’d never change. nothing would ever change.

the mercer brothers have been floating around the north carolina scene for ~5ish years now, trailing after their father who is consistently chasing after their mother with no luck. they’re currently residing in palm motel. can we get a hell yeah?

personality & facts.

he’s actually very? intimidating? when you first meet him. mercy’s younger brother, with a criminal’s record almost as long as his - a scarred face and a mean resting face. it takes at least five minutes of conversation beyond small talk before it starts to weigh on your mind that maybe, he’s not as bad as he seems.

and - well, he isn’t. but he’s guarded - so guarded. more-so than mercy, because mercy’s quicker to anger, quicker to react, and ducky tries so hard to drown out the noise. but he’s not a robot, and his facial expressions can give him away in a second.

he’s seen what happened when mercy had a glimpse of something good in his life (though, it wasn’t actually good at all - mercy had someone, at least. at the very least) - and how quickly it’d all fallen, and so ducky puts a barrier between him and others. distant, as much as he can be.

it hurts, because ducky isn’t by any means antisocial. he doesn’t hate people - he wants to be normal, wants to have friends and a girlfriend - or maybe even a boyfriend, god - but he’s so afraid. ducky is, by nature, a very scared person. terrified to his very core. he knows there is always eyes on him, and mercy too, and he knows that nothing is worth getting someone else hurt.

you know him as mercy’s little brother, and he’s quiet you know that - but his name is ducky, and you think - he’s not too bad. and he knows this, knows the doubts. knows that it’ll get back to mercy, eventually, that his brother is nothing more but a pussy. so he fights more than he’d like to, against the guilt that buries itself deep within his chest with every thrown fist. he throws up, afterwards, in the garbage can outside. too much to drink, he says, rare grin - because grins are convincing, and grins with bleeding gums are intimidating. he learned that from his brother.

violence makes him sick to his very stomach. he can’t watch horror films, or even action films, without feeling queasy. there’s been more times than he can count where he’d thrown up after a fight, or after an interrogation, usually in private but in the occasional presence of mercy.

they fight, a lot, sometimes - ducky’s too soft, too weak, and it’s bad and it’s terrible and ducky knows that mercy’s afraid. for him, of their father, and his wraith. ducky knows that if mercy isn’t hard on him now, their father will be on him harder. still. there’s resentment, small but there, like the flame of a match. he doesn’t know what’ll happen when there’s nothing more to burn, but he doesn’t want to find out. he’s afraid to find out.

he’s still in love with the moon and the stars, and the planet’s - and their moons, too. its subdued, now, though. a silent passion - one that is often not watered, left for rot. he sneaks into engineering lectures at the community college, occasionally, or physics, or whatever peeks the small curiosity inside of him.

commits small acts of kindness when nobody looks. doors held open, the meals of elderly folk eating alone suddenly paid. picks up litter besides trash bins, and always cooks extra than what he needs and leaves the rest for mercy. it’s these small things that make him feel, just the slightest, better about himself.

because god - there are layers and layers of self-loathing. it’s a labyrinth, and he’d never speak of it - but he can’t stand his own reflection. doesn’t keep photos of his family, only a few sparingly of mercy.

a liar, sad to say. has little experience with. ehem. intimacy, and the bodies of others, but lies often and says that he does. mostly to his brother, but word travels quick - and he’s not nearly as much as a fuckboy as is rumored, having only been with a handful of girls, if even that. it’s better this way - if people know that he throws others away like they’re nothing.

he ghosts often, too, if he does get to talking with anybody. the moment ducky feels a spark, something pulling at his poor heart, he ghosts. he develops feelings too easily, too often than he’d like. has left many friendships without explanation, because of this. you know the priest in fleabag season 2? the scene where he comes to fleabag’s house? yeah. tht’s ducky!

has maybe half the amount of clients that mercy does, but he’s working on it.

pretends he doesn’t care as much as he does. pretends a lot, like there’s nothing soft to him. but a trained eye can see clearly through this. even so - even if you can see that there’s more to ducky than violence and drug deals - you’d still have to break through a dozen walls.

in the rare occasion you get him talking - i mean, talking a lot - he’ll talk about space. ramble off a dozen useless facts about dwarf stars and black holes and all of jupiter’s moons. about a video game he likes, about nothing and everything at all. but as soon as he begins, he stops - embarrassed. apologizes, shuts his mouth, disappears to wherever. anywhere but there.

drug abuse // has a. complicated relationship with benzos n xanax n a various assortment of painkillers. ironic bc he hates drugs due to. his chosen career n wldnt do most of what they sell, bt yknow. this ws inevitable. hates beer bt forces himself 2 drink it bc toxic masculinity probably man idk.

overall just … he’s a soft boy, with a big heart - bigger than anybody else in his family, that’s for sure, but his exterior is far different than that, and it’s hard to tell.

violence mention // purposely loses fights so that he doesn’t have to severely hurt someone. because sometimes he just - he was raised in a violent environment, and sometimes he snaps. sometimes ducky just fucking snaps. and his vision goes red, and he can’t control himself - because need to survive kicks in, and violence is all he knows. if someone pushes ducky - pushes him enough, he breaks. he fights back. it’s all he knows. it’s all he knows. it’s all he knows, and that’s not an excuse - and he knows this, and god, he’s so tired. he is so. tired.

wanted plots.

u look good tonight ... ;; wld love a connection in which he is feeling emotionally compromised n maybe kinda hs a thing w someone bt hes like. very unreliable n kinda ghosting bc he is very afraid n it wld b maybe bad fr them to b anything other than hook ups. cld apply to smth very intensive or smth very surface lvl i’ll take thousands.

palms sweaty ... moms spaghetti ... ;; ppl tht ducky just hs fkn brawled. cld b anybody fr any reason. ducky prob lost n he prob lost on purpose bt also ur muse cld maybe kick ducky’s ass? cld b a fake fight cld b a real fight. cld b a npc fight n then ur muse cn patch up ducky? possibilities endless. maybe they hv a nice spaghetti dinner n both of them r both bruised up frm their fight. sometimes fights end in spaghetti dinners. thanks eminnem or whatever.

own worse enemy... ;; ducky needs friends bt hes bad at making friends n sometimes he fks shit up by pushing ppl away n self sabotaging n being a major cunt n sometimes he just ghosts bt hes always very remorseful abt it? this cld b a very like. up n down friendship of any type its just. where do they stand. r they friends. r they enemies. r they lovers? probably not lovers. prob just platonic. but still its the thought tht counts.

and also ;; literally just like. anything. clients who buy off of him n like. casual friends n casual enemies n casual hookups. ppl hes ghosted. ppl hes embarrassed himself in front of. maybe ur muse tries to get ducky to socialize or maybe ducky is like. u are too much fr me. n ur muse runs off crying. endless possibilities all u hv to do is call this number now.

#irvingintro #abuse tw #violence tw #drug abuse tw #gangs mention #eye injury tw #chuckles evilly #im a madman #anyways this is like essentially a repost

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ain-t-bovvered · 4 years

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15x03 Commentary

bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat)

@waywardbaby (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered (Giulia)

Opening my phone in the morning:

What the fuck happened

Kat: You don’t wanna know

Kat: You’ll find out soon enough

Zee: Yeah ok I went to tumblr. Why did I do that ?

Kat: SHAME ON YOU

Giulia: BECAUSE U HAVE 0 PATIENCE

Kat: If you wanted to know I could have told you

Zee: I just opened the freaking thing and glanced at the first thing on my dash. Clearly, it was the wrong thing to glance at. I yeeted out

Giulia: I DON T WANNA BE HERE

Giulia: will I cry

Kat: Do you want the honest answer

Giulia: No

Kat: Didn’t think so

Giulia: Im so tired already

Zee: Oh shush

Kat: Don’t I know it

Nat : ok i'm read

Nat : or not . whatever

Giulia: I’m not!! Help

Giulia: Ok im ready

Kat: Question first!

Zee: Uh oh

Giulia: I don t like it

Kat: With the download, do y’all have the green CW screen first?

US: no

Giulia: * stressed* Why

Kat: Because I watch my recording, I don’t download so I want to make sure I start in the same spot

Giulia: Oh ok.... Geez

Zee: Are we ready?

Nat : Are we all not ready

Kat: I think we are right?

Nat : 3

Nat : 2

Nat : 1

Nat : go

Giulia: Ghost’s town again yay

Nat : Unpopular opinon: I hope Ketch dies

Kat: Sames

Giulia: Well he done anyway so

Kat: ...

Giulia: GREAT

Nat : idgaf about Ketch

Nat : AH GHOST TOWN THE 3RD YAY I'm so happy

Kat: Love these random ass hunters

Giulia: I see white pants I think Jensen jib10

Kat: SHUSH

Nat : Legit wanna throw my laptop away

R: The "Rafforza l'incantesimo"

my italian ass: GASPS

Giulia: Look at Rowena pretty dress

Kat: Yyyeessss that dress

Giulia: Also she brought a change

Zee: Came prepared

Nat : She's the thing that keeps me watching at the moment

Kat: Of course, it’s Rowena

Nat : UGH I felt that

Giulia: I felt dean

Zee: For me it’s deans legs and cas’s fed up face

Giulia: That place again

Giulia: What

Nat : Insert Joey gif: I'M SOOOOO SICK OF THIS TOOOOOWN

Giulia: Noted

oh look me walking with my tall friends

that door banging scared the shit out of me

R: Prendi cio che è debole, rendilo forte. D'una piuma d'oca, fai una spada.

Take what’s weak and make it stronger. Of a duck feather make it a sword

Giulia: OH ITALIAN

Zee: Is she speaking Italian?

R: Dalla nebbia, cemento possente, impenetrabile, inflessibile.

From fog, mighty concrete, impenetrable, inflexible

Giulia: SHE IS

R: Rendilo forte.

Make it stronger

Giulia: And pretty well too

Kat: It’s not working Sam

Zee: Connection lost. Check server

Giulia: Oh no

Kat: And down she goes

Giulia: Thanks

Zee: A real drink

Giulia: Lol

Kat: This look 🤣🤣🤣

Giulia: Gotta use it

Kat: Love the silent conversations

Giulia: Fuck off belphy

Nat : Ah angry ghosts . What else is new

Zee: I kinda love his sass

Kat: Same but I still want to stab him

Nat : Wow, imagine this was the last three episodes. It's over in a freaking ghost town. I'm still salty, can you see?

Giulia: Yeah that would fucking destroy me

Kat: Not at all you hide it so well

Giulia: That’s not who we are

Zee: Go Dean!! Tell them

Giulia: AWE SAM

Kat: Aw Sammy

Giulia: SAM

He’s so gentle . Such a big gentle giant, I love him.

Zee: Control your face Sam

Kat: That doesn’t happen. At all.

Giulia: YOU SHUSH THE FUCK DOWN

Giulia: that strap tho

Nat : Not gonna give up

Kat: He never does. Take a knee

Nat : He's like a leave in the wind, give up not giving up give up not giving up

Zee: Is he us?

D: Oh, I'm not freaked. I'm angry, okay? I'm pissed.

Giulia: I M PISSED TOO

Kat: THAT PISSED WAS SO COUNTRY

Kat: Jensen your Texas is showing

Giuls: And I’m loving it

Giulia: I need more then

D: Th-This... This sloppy-ass ghostpocalypse... that's Chuck's ending? No. No, I don't think so. After everything that he has put us through? I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some glorified fanboy get the last word.

Giulia: SLOPPY ASS GHOST APOCALYPSE

Nat : Sloppy Ass Ghost Apocalypse. Yeah, that's about sums it up

Zee: Glorified fan boy

Giulia: dean speaking up for the fandom

S: Anything useful in there? R: Not a thing.

sure

Nat : You don't have eyes

Nat : snorts

Zee: You don’t have eyes

Giulia: Ok that was funny

B: I got an idea, but, uh... you're not gonna like it.

Giulia: DON T

Giulia: TOUCH

Giulia: MAH BABY

Kat: You okay bb?

Giulia: no I’m fear

Kat: What

Giulia: Because i just remembered the season trailer. And i wanna be wrong

Zee: Surprised moose

Nat : Did he just say, minions

Nat : But that would mean that Belphy would stay on earth?

Kat: No he’d be in hell

Nat : Ah

Giulia: Ah

Giulia: ... I don t like this

Kat: DIBS ON SAMUEL

Nat : Dibs on Samuel

Giulia: Dibs on samuel

Zee: Dibs on Samuel

Nat : Hey

Giulia: AH sam witch confirmed

Nat : I'm calling Dibs on Dean then

Kat: NO

Giulia: Cas🙋🏼‍♀

Zee: Was waiting for Kat

R: Whoever does this, they'll be unprotected. No salt circles... all manner of angry spirits right up in their grill.

Nat : So yeah, Belphy wants Cas

Giulia: NO Don t look at my bb

B: I want protection.Muscle.

D: Yeah, Cass’ll go.

C: Well, it sounds like I don't have a choice.

Giulia: DEAN

Zee: Dean threw him under the bus

Giulia: ugh

Kat: Oh babe

Giulia: COME ON

Nat : Dean would literally do anything now

Nat : That's how desperate he is

Kat: YUP

Nat : I see more of Ketch than I ever wanted

future me: ain’t that right

Zee: His underwear are ridiculous

Kat: SNORTS

Nat : Kill him

Giulia: Jesus lady there is an apocalypse going on

random demon I don’t care about: And you won't give them up? Not for any price?

K: Not at any price.

Giulia: Aw ketch

Kat: ya happy Nat?

Nat : AHHHHH OMG YES

Giulia: Eh

Giulia: We are at 2 spn final season deaths already nice

Zee: Casually strolling the graveyard

B: You know, your part in all this is, uh, pretty dangerous.I mean, you could die, get trapped in Hell. Your friends might never see you again. Funny, 'cause, uh,they didn't seem to think twice about it.

R.U.D.E.

Nat :lol Cas

Giulia: AHAHAHAH

Zee: Ok

Kat: Hhhhhhhaaaahahhaaa

Giulia: DO I LOVE HIM

Giulia: witch stuff

Nat : And what's Dean's role in this?

Nat : I think I got distracted

Kat: Outside by the hole

Giulia: Being grumpy

Nat : Ah where he should be 😉

Kat: Ready and waiting lol

Giulia: Well you’d want him in

Nat : Well, not the whole of him

Zee: FOCUS LADIES

Zee: so fed up

C: Yet you needed protection, "muscle", for this?

B: Okay, you got me. I wanted company. I wanted your company. What? Shouldn't we at least try and be friends?

Nat : Belphy is Giuls

Giulia: WOW

Nat : You would want Cas' company too

C: You are not growing on anyone. Sam and Dean are just using you. Don't mistake that for caring about you, because I can assure you they don't.

B: Wow. You learn that the hard way?

Giulia: AWE NO BELPHY SHUSH

Kat: Cas should know

Nat : Sush

Giulia: OH THAT REALLY STUNG

C: You're wearing Jack, who was like a son to me, like a coat.

Zee: Like a son to me

C: It's an abomination.

Giulia: im sad. I’m so sad

Zee: I think you should wait

Kat: It’s gonna get worse bb

Giulia: DON T PUSH HIM

Nat : Why does Cas has to go in first

Giulia: what else is new

Zee: The muscle

Nat : Ah

Nat : Do we trust him?

Kat: WHAT DO YOU THINK

Zee: No

Giulia: I hate how I can recognize enochian

Giulia: I trust bel so little

Nat : I don't think he should say that out loud

Kat: SUNG

Giulia: Oh

Zee: What?

Giulia: WHAT

Kat: SING IT CAS

Giulia: OMG WHAT

Nat : Don't do it?

C: ♪ Toh-luh dah... ♪

Giulia: OH COME ON

Kat: That’s all you get lol

Giulia: fuck Oh great that was the “musical”

Nat : Ah Dean's at the hole

Nat : snorts

Kat: There might be a couple seconds more I can’t remember

Nat : Sam just thinks that he should be with Dean when this all goes to shit

Nat : And I cry

Giulia: ...great

Kat: Nope

C: ♪ ... mee ♪

Zee: Like an angel

Nat : WELL

Giulia: Oh fuck off

Zee: Oh fuck

Giulia: Well

Nat : Who is she again

Giulia: Ardat Some demon who wanted to kill bel

Nat : Ardat Lili is a dangerous storm spirit from ancient Sumeria, a vampiric succubus who visits men at night

Giulia: Thanks Hermione

Kat: Thanks google

Zee: Nerd

Nat : At least I know how to work google. Unlike the majority, it seems

Giulia: well I’m doing 3 things at the same time

Giulia: Everybody wants to rule hell. Nobody learned a thing from Crowley

Zee: It’s been a while since Cas got smacked

Giulia: He’s a fucking angel

Giulia: OF COURSE

Nat : THERE WAS A VACANCY. Pfffff

Kat: Ugh he’s so annoying

Zee: That close up Giuls ?

Giulia: I KNOW EXCITING

Nat : Ah the wind in Dean's hair

Nat : I need that close up Giuls

Kat: The wind in Cas’ trench

Nat : lol in Cas' shirt

Giulia: that hand holding

Kat: 😭

Giulia: I’m having anxiety

Zee: We see

Kat: YOU SHOULD

Nat : Shouldn't Cas go out before it closes. Before Dean throws that bomb in?Ah, too late

Giulia: I can t take it

Giulia: DEAN. DEAN FUCK

Zee: COME ON

Kat: He’s got business

Giulia: CAS

Giulia: what

Kat: IT’S NOT HIS FAULT AT THE MOMENT

Giulia: What is happening

Giulia: I’m so angry at everyone

Kat: CAS IS MAD

B: It's me... Jack.

Giulia: JACK SHUT UP

Zee: NO

Giulia: OH NO

The struggle Castiel going through is painful ok. I hate it , HATE IT.

Nat : Ah so Jack is gone?

Kat: His body I guess

Giulia: I HATE THIS

Nat : For good?

Giulia: FUCK NO

Zee: WTF

Giulia: WHAT WAS THAT SIGH

Well this destroyed me .

future me: AH JUST YOU WAIT DUMB BITCH

Kat: That wasn’t Jack

Nat : Because he's still in the empty, right? He's forgotten there

Giulia: FUCK

Kat: Death has plans

Zee: CAS

Oh you can see the moment Castiel feels like he’s got nothing left . great.

Nat : What

Giulia: ROWENA

Nat : WHAT

Kat: JUST FUCKING WAIT

R: Won't need that where I'm going.

Nat : Ah fuck

R: Magic can do anything, Samuel , can contain anything... even the vast multitudes of Hell.

Giulia: I HATE THIS

Zee: WHAT?

Giulia: NO

Nat : If I pay the price

R:"Death Is an Infinite Vessel." A spell so simple it draws its power from its caster.Just two ingredients.

S: Rowena, why didn't you tell us?

shut up Sam

R: Because, dear, the first ingredient is my own still-coursing blood. And the last is my final breath.

Giulia: I DON T LIKE THE PRICE

Nat : Rowena loves them to much

Zee: Hold on HOLD ON

Giulia: i love her so much

R: I'll absorb the ghosts and demons and return them to Hell.In time, my body'll break down, and they'll be released right where they belong.

S: No, no. No. Rowena... no.

Giulia: GREAT

Nat : NO AH

Giulia: I DON T WANNA SEE SAM CRY

R: To perform this spell, I have to die. And it has to be you that kills me.

Nat : Right, in every death book of Rowena, she's killed by Sam

Kat: POOR SAMMY

Giulia: OF COURSE GREAT

Zee: HE GOT OUT

Kat: SEE HE GETS OUT

Giulia: BUT AT WHAT PRICE

Kat: MIGHT BE BETTER IF HE STAYED THOUGH

Giulia: WHAT ?! YIKES

R: My real, permanent demise is at your hands. It's in Death's books.

S: Yeah, well, you know what? Screw the books.

Us: *LOUD GASP*

D: Wh-What about the Crook?

C: It's gone. It was destroyed.

That what is so ..... wow

R: I don't care about anything enough to take my own life.Not you, your brother... not even the world. But I believe in prophecy. I believe in magic. And I'm here, and you're here, and everything we need to end this right is in our hands.I know this in my bones...it has to be this way. Do it! Kill me, Samuel!

Nat : I'm-

Kat: 😭😭😭😭😭

Giulia: I’m

Zee: INDONT WANNA WATCH

Giulia: I CANT TAKE ALL THIS

Nat : Fuck, Sammy

Giulia: OH MY GOD SAM

Nat : Sam is too fragile for that

Kat: I BELIEVE IN PROPHECY AND MAGIC 🤣😭😭

R: I know we've gotten quite fond of each other, haven't we? But will you let the world die, let your brother die, just so I can live?

Giulia: NO SHUT UP

Zee: Shut up Rowena

Giulia: NO

Nat : Dean's pissed. What else is new

Giulia: NO NO

Nat : NO

Giulia: SAM

Nat : NOOOOO

Giulia: FUCK

Zee: God damn

Kat: NNNOOOOOOOOO

Giulia: STOP IT

Kat: She says Dean’ll die and Sam gets stabby

Giulia: NO ROWEEEENAAA

R: That's my boy.

Kat: THATS MY BOY

Nat : Of course

Giulia: WHAT IS THAT FACE SAM

Giulia: FUCK OFF

Giulia: FUCK THESE EPISODES

Nat : OH NO

Giulia: SHIT

Kat: IS IT BETTER OR WORSE THAN BORING

Nat : SAMMY CONTROL YOUR FUCKING FACE

Giulia: IM NOT READY

Giulia: NO DON T SAY THAT

Kat: JUST LIKE CROWLEY

Giulia: COME ON

Zee: CAN THE MUSIC NOT

Nat : CAS

Giulia: CAS BB

Giulia: WHY AM I SO TIRED

Zee: IMAGINE HOW SAM IS FEELING

Nat : HENLEY

Giulia: oh dean is in the nude

Zee: BUTT NAKED

Kat: SUCH GOOD SINGLE LAYER HENLEY PORN

Giulia: Oh he was crying In his room

Nat : Does Sam actually fit in the bed?

Giulia: Ah yeah ketch too

Kat: Okay I know it’s super sad but these boys are looking GOOD

Giulia: I KNOW AND IM SANGRY

I’M STILL MOURNING OK

C: How's Sam?

D: Not great.

Kat: Get ready babes

C: Sorry about Rowena.

Giulia: No i refuse

Zee: WHAT?

Nat : NO

Giulia: Fuck

Nat : Don't you throw this in Kat

D: You're sorry? Why didn't you just stick to the damn plan?

Giulia: I DON T WANNA WATCH

C: He wanted to eat every last soul to take over Hell, Earth, and every...

D: Yeah, and we would've figured it out... after. With Rowena.

OK but listen...figuring it out later could have been worse , although it’s true that Rowena was a real great asset. Idk man I’m hurting

Giulia: i can feel dean’s anger

Nat : Dean control your anger

C: Something went wrong. You know this. Something always goes wrong.

D: Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?

Kat: Oooohhhh boy

Nat : WHAT

Giulia: NO

Nat : DID YOU JUST SAY

Giulia: DEAN U FUCK

you can see the shock and hurt and heartbreak on Cas’ face but it’s fine , it’s fine WE’RE FINE

C: You used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt. Now you can barely look at me.

They both so hurt and I cannot bear this

Zee: Can’t breathe

C: My powers are failing, and...

yeah can we talk about that ? becasue...why the fuck

C: and I've tried to talk to you, over and over, and you just don't want to hear it. You don't care.

Nat : The eyeroll

Giulia: I HATE THIS SHIT

Kat: I know bb

SO ANGRY

C: I'm... dead to you.

SO SAD

Nat : The eyeroll

Giulia: I HATE THIS SHIT

Kat: I know bb

Giulia: IS THIS FANFIC

Giulia: I READ THIS 364830173 TIMES

C: You still blame me for Mary.

Giulia: NO

C: Well, I don't think there's anything left to say.

D: Where you going?

IS THIS FANFIC

Nat : CAS IS GOING AWAY

Nat : CAS STAY

Kat: You knew it was happening bb

Zee: WHAT

Zee: THE

Zee: FUCK

C: Jack's dead. Chuck's gone. You and Sam have each other.

Giulia: NO THIS SONG

Nat : I know

Kat: I know

C: I think it's time for me to move on.

Zee: STOP HIM YOU ASSUOLE

Nat : I knew it but I'm not happy about it

Kat: Group hug

Giulia: WELL DEAN LOOKS REGRETFUL SO AT LEAST THERE’S THAT

Kat: As per usual. He lashes out then is sorry about it.

Nat : That's human

Giulia: HEY YALL CAN TALK TO MY CORPSE

Giulia: TRAILER TIME BECAUSE IM IN DENIAL

Giulia: MEH

Nat : Yeah well, the next ep is kinky

Giulia: gag me

Kat: Yup

Giulia: My heart is broken. This ep destroyed me

Kat: I know bb

Zee: DONT LIKE THE PROMO

Giulia: FUCK OFF THE PROMO I DON T GIVE 2 SHITS ABOUT IT

Kat: But Jensen directed

Zee: Dean was exceptionally assholy

Nat : We'll get Lumberjack Dean

Kat: That too

Giulia: dean is on a real fine thread

Giulia: I think that’s when there is samifer

Kat: Well the red was there And it was red when we see bearded!dean

Giulia: I currently don’t give a shit honestly

Kat: They’ll make up by the end

Giulia: Yeah i wanna see when

Giulia: Whatever I’m so tired

Giulia: Fuck off

Giulia: Im also pretty real sad. And that hasn’t happened in long on spn

Kat: Jensen said in an interview it hasn’t happened yet so we’ll see

Zee: We all are

Kat: I know. I knew exactly how y’all would react

Giuls: Ok but it’s not even about destiel. I just hate to see them fight instead of working together

Giulia: My stomach hurts too now. I should go. Kat go the fuck to sleep. And nobody talks to me about the ep

Kat: I AM TALKIN TO ZEE

Giulia: Hush i can still hear you over the sound of my soul crying

Zee: In my defense, I told her to sleep

Kat: Give your soul a tissue

Kat: She did. Many times. I didn’t listen like usual

Giulia: That vinyl now looks real good to ease my pain. Not gonna lie

Zee: Take me with you. I’ll probably be a mile back but still

Giulia: I rewatched the end briefly because I’m a dumb bitch. And yep, i can confirm i screamed into my pillow and got actually teary eyed and boi am I dumb to get actually tears for a tv show jesus and it’s only ep 3 but the threat of the ending is getting tight around my neck already and this is stupid, and fuck. And bye

Giulia: People are hating over everything right now

Kat: Yup. People hate Cas, people hate Dean, people hate the town (@Nat ) Plus, I think it, being the last season, makes people lash out more.

Nat : Hey

Kat: Did I lie?

Nat : No but it still hurts

Kat: Well they’re away from it now At least there’s that

Giulia: Why, where are they Idk

Kat: Do I have to say it?

Giulia: Say what

Kat: Where people are. I don’t think you wanna hear it

Giulia: Exactly

Kat: So we won’t say it lol

Giulis: For what it’s worth all the people throwing hate at Dean and Castiel can all suck my dick.

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @ravenhg @evvvissticante @emoryhemsworth

#Episode commentary #episode 15x03 #supernatural 15x03 #15x03 commentary #Jensen Ackles #Misha Collins #Jared Padalecki #ruthie connell #rowena #castiel #dean winchester #Sam Winchester

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idolizenews · 5 years

Photo

Before everyone goes demanding proofs, here’s a picture of my uncle’s business card -- he works for Newsflash and managed to get into the Gayo afterparty. I also uploaded an interior shot of the hotel that got booked for the party. If you know where they went then you know this is the true place ㅋㅋ Anyway, he got found out and some companies got mad and bought out Newsflash from releasing anything. But I was there when he was ranting about everything that happened that he couldn’t publish ㅋㅋ So let me tell you what happened at the party. Really, you’ll all be shocked, I can’t look at celebrities the same way ever again....

There’s some mouthy 99 trainee named Maya(?) who was all crying to some waiter about her past relationship with POIZN’s Siwon. I wasn’t really surprised by this though, don’t we all know by now that having a bad personality is required to get into that company ㅋㅋㅋ it sounded like there was re~ally bad blood there, though.

For all the people spreading rumors that CHERRY BOMB!’s Sophia and Jawbreaker’s Yujin were fighting, they were hanging out just fine at the Gayo party. So you’re all just dumb.

Nobody should believe that “visiting the sick” bs that Midas put out, because Aurora Jiyeon and Imperial Junseo were a~ll over each other at the party. They definitely have a some. But Imperial’s Noah was talking all hush-hush to her, to the point where my uncle couldn’t hear. Maybe he’s angry about all the drama she’s causing, what a fox ㅋㅋ

Junseo’s not the only secret troublemaker in Imperial though, Jaeyoon was flirting hardcore with Heaven’s Belair. But isn’t she out of his league anyway??? It’s just my opinion, so don’t bash me~

POIZN Iseul and Jawbreaker Ellie snuck up to the rooftop to have a private conversation, but my uncle heard from a staff that they sounded all bitter and angry and each other.

If you’re not some olympian with your hands over your ears, you all know that the group doesn’t get along, right? Anyway, Seokyung and San were having some tense conversation like there might be a rivalry. Seems like Seokyung might be jealous of San’s solo?

Seokyung must have been having a busy night though, because after that he ran off to find CB!’s Sophia and get her to lick his wounds ㅋㅋㅋ They were dancing all over each other and flirting like they might be in a relationship. Is there anyone she hasn’t dated? ㅋ

Olympus Taeho and Jinx’s Ryan were seen talking to each other, even after they’ve all come out and said they’ve broken up and everything for a while now. Maybe they’re back together~ Don’t rage again olympians~

Taeho’s doing more than just dating around though, he was also fighting with a junior in his company, Aroon. He’s known to be rather upstanding, isn’t he? Shows what a bad character Taeho has...

Anyway, Aroon and Jingyi seemed to be talking at the party, so I guess they stopped fighting.

1nferno’s Danny was seen talking to Pro.logue’s Minyoung....guess he was really the person from that blind item after all~~ But it doesn’t stop there he was also!! flirting it up with Nightmare’s Jia later on. He seems like quite the player~~

That’s some of what my uncle told me~ think twice before you open your wallets, kids~

POST RESPONSE | [ + 592 ] [ - 202 ]

1. [ ㅇㅇ ] Why is anyone listening to this attention wh*re??? OP probably just accepted some poor worker’s business card and is using his name to spread false information. They’re clearly an anti of MSG and Olympus and supports Titanium... 2. [ 나인나인 ] Isn’t this too severe, OP...? You’re not respecting their privacy at all....And Imperial is already getting scraps in their company, are you trying to ruin them? – Shouldn’t they stop ruining themselves by acting like normal people???? 3. [ ㅇㅇ ] Am I the only one who believes it all? Im mostly shocked by how brazen Jiyeon and Junseo are being...goosebumps....after their agencies put their necks out to cover them up and everything??? They’re both so spoiled, I hope they get kicked from their groups. 4. [ 귀여운 고양이 ] Us Charms know that Ryan really broke up with Taeho. So much of this just seems to be speculation that OP made up based on rumors she found out around the internet. Same with all the Olympus rumors and Jiyeon and Junseo....am I the only one who thinks so? 5. [ ㅇㅇ ] F*ck, I’m really so curious at some of these open ended rumors...why were Ellie and Iseul all bitter? 6. [ ㅇㅇ ] Isn’t the most severe of all Danny? Fans tried to shield him from that rumor before but... That blind item must have really been true, but he just goes around chatting up all the pretty girls he sees? Does MSG know they shoved a kid with such bad character into their group? He’s going to rot them from the inside out.... 6. [ 도깨비 ] Hey OP, how is Jaeyoon out of Belair’s league? Are you blind?? Go get your eyes checked, f*ck. – Imps stan imps~ 7. [ 서경신 ] Nobody is surprised at Olympus anything anymore, it’s just boring. Who can blame Seokyung for getting mad when Midas just pushes San into all these solo projects anyway? – If you weren’t a known Seokyung akgae I might agree with you~ You don’t even bother to refute OP calling Taeho’s personalities bad?

#id.pann #id.gayos

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icoulddieandwecouldlive4eve-blog · 4 years

Text

just in case this goes missing

This is my manifesto

That beautiful morning, i hadnt gotten any sleep that night because i was up ranting about OCCULTISM and rape and dug abuse. When my friend, Quaint, showed up he was shaking and his lips were an off shade of grey. He asked to use my phone and called his mama saying that he might go to hospital today because he felt sick. I told him that he wasnt sick he was just DTing and needed alcohol to subdue the effects on his body. I walked to go get medicinal whiskey but the liquor store wasnt open. I walked to the whole foods and picked up 2 bottles of wine and some doggo treats for his dog, chance. He didnt want the treats i gave him but he was such a good protector of his friend. We passed the wine around, casually outside of the unopened shop.

THEYASKEDME IF WAS SEEIN OR HEARING ANYTHING

It was Monday morning (Mid December 2019) when i had contact with the first officer in front of an establishment called “The Love of Ganesha” on Haight St in San Francisco. I dont remember his badge name or number but he was a well groomed caucasian male. He approached me because he had gotten a call that morning about disorderly conduct (or something along those lines) he arrived at the scene, harrassed my surrounding family, and moved them down the line. After everyone had moved he approched me and Threatened to detain me for being under the influence or for being crazy or something like that. He told me he was taking me to the SF psychiatric ward. I asked him what he was detaining me for. I asked him again what he was detaining me for. He approached my husband and asked Sean if he knew me and if he could help me move me belongings and myself to another location. My stuff was in dissarray but we moved down to the corner of haight and ashbury where my husband sean took and long nap (we were up the entire night before)

My friends and i spent most of the day on that corner, playing with our kitties and talking to touring adults. Around sundown,shortly after a woman donated several dogbeds, my good friend Caveman approached the corner and put down his belongings. Seconds later a squad car with flashing lights pulled up to the scene and two officers of the law got out. One of them was a young african american male and the other was a (assumed to be) younger asian american male. The asian american male (we’ll just call him “woodstick”) “Woodstick” immediatly addressed caveman by asking him “how is your son” whih i thought was very rude. But then “woodstick” told everyone that they had to leave “his” corner. (im pretty sure he doesnt pay rent on that corner but anyway) as me and my husband packed up our belongings “woodstick” got out his big wooden stick and wore it on his hip like a Gun. I wasnt threatened but everyone else, all fed up with the harrassment, moved along.

I stayed up all night that night talking my husband’s ear off and crying. I fell asleep shortly but was woken up by my hyper-sensitive on-guard dog around 4:30 am. So not much later in the morning i got up and even through my husband asked me not to go, i wanted to walk and yell and talk someone els’s ear off. So i took our 3 kittens, (because they were wide awake) and i went to haight st. i sat on my dog’s bed on the corner of haight st and ashbury and made a sign that said I protest this state. For the sake of my deceased friends:

I screamed that i was being raped, I screamed that i was being murdered, i screamed “wake up people” and i screamed “NARCAN call 911 call 911 call 911 i am overdosing on heroin! oh wait thats not what someone who is overdosing on heroin sounds like” I was furiously flipping off everyone and nobody cared.

Anyway, an african american police officer arrived at the scene, right around 7 am right after shift change i assume (she never mentioned getting a call). She pulled up wto me and said “stand up”, i said “no”, she said “im taking you to jail”, she put on black gloves and got out of her car and asked me politely what the problem is. I explained my situation to her and she politely told me where to go to file a formal complaint against off. “Woodstick” and then when i continued to not comply she gave me a tresspassing 25 ticket. Then she said that because i wasnt leaving “ we were going to have another problem” i told her to contact her SGT. and she did so. A white man arrived at the scene and rudely told me… something (i wasnt listening ) i was also flipping off people as they walked by. So the SGT starts grabbing at me and pushing my hat and other belongings around, almost as if he was trying to piss me off more. Then he grabbed me by my shoulder and so did the african american female officer that had orginally made contact with me. I explained “dont touch me” “stop harrassing me” “i know my rights” (which im not sure i do anymore)Then shorltly another 4 or so officers showed up to the scene and pushed my face into the ground, got one arm behind my back, broke my glasses and they said “stop resisting” multiple times. Then they threatened to take me to jail. They told me my religious artifact would have to be removed and then they forcefully tried to remove my silver and lapiz ring. My figner had already been broken recently so i knew that my ring wouldnt come off easily. I told the officers that as they FORCEFULLY tried to remove my religious artifact. I mentioned the first amendment to them. They continued to try to remove my ring threatening me with detainment. Then the SFFD showed up and they put me on the gurnie. Forced my right hand. Took my cat’s basket and my dog’s new dog bed that was given to me by that kind woman.

Took me to the Zuckerberg San Francisco General hostpitable where they werent very hospitable. After they laughed at me and made fun of me, they got me a chaplain named mary kay who gave me 2 bibles and another chaplain also named mary talked me through the trauma like a couple of pros. They doctors asked m what was physically wrong and i told them my hand feet and torso and arms hurt. They brought in an xray machine and asked me if i might be pregnant. When i said it was possible they left with the xray machine… never took a urine sample. While they were xraying my hands i told them that i believed i have a stress fracture inin both of my feet. They never even checked. After being taken to the psych ward (which reeked of county jail) I spoke to a psychiatrist for 5 minutes before they knocked me out witha variety of pills. The next morning i woke up and they gave me my breakfaast (mushroom omlette) and i announced i was doing a hunger strike, drank a cup of coffee. Not long after they allowed me to call my mom. My mother offered to pick me up from the hospital but i told her i wanted to be released on my own recognisance. Not long after they allowed me to shower and leave.

MY partner, sean, was waiting outside for me and my friend shane came and picked us up.

That evening i bought a pack of PBRs, because it was all i could afford beer wise, and i went to haight st and handed them out to my friends. I put my belonging under a scaffolding to protect it from the cold rain. My friend caveman screamed at me on sight “you are the only other woman to be 5150 from here other than misha” who misha is i dont know.

King and 14th

I scrambled to get to the train station. Screaming the whole way. I begged people to let me use there phone because mine had died. I went into the train station and frantically tried to find money in my purse. An older african american woman approched me and asked me what the problem was and offered to by me a ticket. I stated plain and clear that i would also need a ticket for m partner and she said it would cost her too much. My partner told me to quiet down and payed for his own ticket while she bought me mine. I promptly lost it.

Friday the 13th December

It was raining when my partner got off the BART train. We walked to the closest covered porch and started to unwind. After watching a couple older gentlemen leave the building i assumed that it was a federal building. We went to sleep there. Around 2 am (december 14) in the middle of shift change SGT 8 and OFF 10 woke us up and off. 10 threatened to take me and my husband to jail… or to the hospital… i dont remember exactly what his plan was but he put those stupid blue gloves on. As soon as i started rambling to myself they left. NO CONTACT

My husband and i got our asses moving and as we walked we started to argue (but not in a “im mad at you and you suck”kind of way but in a “i was exhausted already” kind of way) i told him to stay put after we walked not even half a mile. I walked with my yellow water bottle in hand so that traffic could see me more clearly. I got to the fire house. Rang the doorbell.

Rang the doorbell again, i was quite dehydrated at this point. I used my limited knowledge of morse code to sing S.O.S. and WATER and FIRE and HELP. when i noticed the fire department waking up i motioned at them for water. They laughed and shook their heads or something like that. I was so angry at this point i may have started hallucinating.

2 cop cars pulled up. 4 lights shone. I put my hands up with my big ol sharpie in one hand and my water bottle in the other. SGT 8 rushed me, snatched the bottle out of me hand, threw it away from me, and put my on the ground and in cuffs. He did not read me any sort of any rights. Anyway he asked me if i was writing on the building or doors. they ran my name. Asked me what the problem is… i told them i was tired and i had just had a fight with my husband. I mentioned the domestic abuse and they said “dont use that word” i told them i needed a ride to the hospital, he said he would only give me a ride if i was under the influence of drugs and shined his BRIGHT ass light in my eyes, practically blinding me. I told him i had smoked weed (a legal substance to consume if you arent operating a motor vehicle) he said i didnt seem high and he was right because the cheap weed i smoked barely did anything anyways. So i mentioned the water thing again after they allowed me to sit on their bumper (so polite) i asked them for their badge numbers and the ten (more like a seven but he’s a cop there is only so far you can get with that) said he was 10 and the four told me he was 8. Brisbane PD. where there is no hospital apparently. So they confirmed that i was being transported and he said hed give me a ride to square one. And one water bottle when i got out. Then he told me hed give me two water bottles which was great because i was REALLY fucking thirsty at that point. And then in the privacy of his cruiser he said “my water bottle is just like your water bottle except my bottle is full and yours is empty” which i thought was pretty offensive but i didnt say anything. So SGT 8 drops me off at the gas station (which wasnt the federal building that i woke up at that morning but details are so 19th century) and puts my water bottle and a new sealed water bottle on the curb of the gas station. Takes my cuffs off, probably said some fuck shit. And said “anything else” and as they got into their cars i said “oh yes and i am in fear of hurting myself AND OTHERs”

And i walked.

And i screamed

And i cruised by my sleeping darling and i wrote a little happy face on the lid of the bottle and i left it for him and i walked some more and when i was out of ear shot of him i whistled. I SCREAMED and i banged my bottle against a pole. I took out my lipstick and i drew a heart on a sign. I drew my signature (MAD (mutually assured desrtuction) read it in HS kinda liked the ring to it) and i walked and i screamed some more. I heard owls in the trees. I saw two men in the trees one had a light in his hand and they stood patiently. I said “hello?” and i heard one of them say “what?”

Later on after eating and getting some fluids in me i am back at the Brisbane fire department and i rang the doorbell once. A young beautiful woman comes to the door and i told her i needed medical attention

Giovanini Gomez asked me what i wanted #1 asked me what he could do for me.

They gave me a psychotic break and a whole season of episodes and then asked me what they could do for me. Then told me very rudely to get out of town.

So i did

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