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ssimontis · 7 years

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Digital Romance Brought to You by Pixar

I hate this Disney shit I want the end of it Television romances speaking to the masses While life situations just pass us by I don't believe in magic and it's not tragic Connections aren't formed they're taken by bandits As if a moment in the street is all we ever need To sow our seed in a future prepackaged like the goods we worship I say it's time to call the bullshit Life situations never happen like that You think a glance passing by can start a romance? I might have never learned to dance, the clubs weren't for me and the bars were too far out We don't know ourselves these days and that's the price we pay All interconnected technology our human side has bested We can't interact without a glowing white screen Blue light fatigues the mind but fairly tales corrupt our minds We pick and choose partners with a swipe left or right When technology went cordless it took away our courtship We forget the ones around us the friends that surround us I never took chances because the consequences were too rancid But all of life is a game to create decay and betray I was afraid of failure to the point I couldn't bear Harboring emotions so dark they sent me into depression But nothing stays forever the people in our lives stay never You have to take chances to win take risks for a spin A coward in social interactions I've always been But are our new methods of selection a glorious resurection? All I needed to do was talk to you We sat across from each other and I let my favorite code Form a fearful abode where you didn't exist so I couldn't resist The guilt and frustration of the chances daily wasted From the moment I saw you I knew that I wanted you But direct confrontation was never my style Irony takes time because distance so limited now grows infinite Medications meant to slow my mind left me feeling restless The proposed feeling of calm not going to make these frustrations fall I now crave human contact when I took it out of the contract Trained to isolate by all the shit I loved to freebase well All of the time lost in my mind playing back fantasies I could never turn into reality With that attitude I knew couldn't bring positivity and So I came to work every day with half a brain to avoid the insane Thought that you and I would get caught in something worth more than my lot I tried to impress you the issues I dozed for you The music we shared but of shallow talk I was aware And every time I saw you react to another person I felt like being stabbed in the back But insecurity paralyzed me the fears were the worst in me It took me giving up everything I had just to finally take a chance Most of my crew came from a life I barely knew At this present moment but they were my biggest proponents Maybe it was liquid courage maybe I finally conquered the scourge of my reluctant ways But by the pool side that day I finally felt related to the person I debated Approaching every day hoping it would be the time I found my way To make the perfect move that doesn't exist no matter how hard I wish The last time I fell so fast it's a miracle that some of it could last Two lives torn apart in a passionate reaction with consequences unexpected So I learned to take it slow because I can't take that blow again Never physical but like I know battery can come emotionally I might not have fully learned that lesson that'll be a confession But the way we hit it off just made me more pissed off About days weeks and months where I was reluctant as fuck To put myself out there no matter how much it could suck Time is ironic but I'm not laughing I'm gasping At the stupidity and ludicrously hesitant ways before I went away For all this talk of contact physical but not in the sense your mind is going It only took hours for those barriers to fall away And now I have to hope that what we built that day will cease to decay But I ran out of time and chances and it was time to flee Mostly to get away from me but the side I hated came along anyway And now we're back to electrifying friendship through digital networks At least I get a paycheck to keep those messages flowing Hoping you are knowing my aims I pray won't end up in dismay True you never saw the sides of me my destruction abided by But thank God I had the chance to find a new path You understood some of the parts of me less than good But if you saw me honest I think I could be understood I missed the best chance but hopefully it won't be the last But the development to my restless dreams are now dependent On text messages I'm afraid to send Deleting every word seeking the perfect phrase my mind can mend I forgot how infatuation is such an appealing reaction My mind revving up before it's time to even get up But the determined part of my swears never to give up There's always fear of failure and this situation is nothing different When I stand outside ai can at least calm my mind But secretly I'm plotting the next steps to somehow get you on my doorstep I have a fragile ego something that grows into something fanciful Caught in between blind belief and fears Im scared I will never defeat As much as I hated on the networks we try to build love upon Now I find it my only chance at getting to the end of this A part of me can see the outcome doesn't matter All these hopes and dreams are easy to scatter But I pray for something better even though the odds are slowing If I'm persistent with the system I criticized for deafening our lives I've never stood strong in all my beliefs, but that's everyone's case to my relief The things I hate on I know have to wait on When that message finally reached you what are you gonna do? I have it all planned out, I manned up and made the rounds But depending on your reaction it might turn into a frown Only time will tell if I keep up with digital persistence Are my intentions worthless banter or is there something growing That we both are feeling and knowing I know there are others countless choices and growing But I maintain a single focus that's what calms my mind the most I wish you could get these intentions by osmosis I just have to continue to try until my intentions are clear in your mind Maybe I'm ill-adjusted this wouldn't be the first time But something deep inside me wants you to be mine I'm in this for the Long haul there's no going back like Total Recall My friends tell me to cool it maybe it's not worth pushing it Life has passed me by about a million different times I'm sick of being paralyzed in wonder if what could have happened down under I've got a lot of possibilities and probabilities to calculate right now But when I stop the computation it's you who seems like the mountain I want to climb and get to know the ssence of your inner flow I've been afraid to be a full person maybe you could complete me Surviving every day is the biggest goal that has to stay But I don't need a reminder to send some lustful thoughts your way This obsession might be another hard lesson My mind works in cycles that my ilness refines Some of the compulsions obsessions and cycles Take my train off thought off the track for miles They say I have trouble approaching reality Not like psychosis but I don't see things like most of us So as I stare at a screen writing well intentioned poetry All I can hope for is that the words come out direct on the floor I never set expectations my intentions always blurry clear But can I write the message that will synchronize our minds Right now we're in first gear and I keep stalling out But once you put that clutch down it's easy to get around Let's take this into fifth gear I just need words like Shakespeare Risks I'm now willing to take because here I have no one else to relate Maybe times will change and I'll downshift our route But in the present moment climbing those gears is a concern to severe Maybe I'll get over it meet people and forget the Ritz But as of right now this growth is what I'm hunting down I have friends to guide me who expect me to rely On their advice and guidance when I get out of line But on this they said fuck it, abandon hope you Miss's I know my priorities are disorder I need to beat this present day But thoughts of the future keep me away I can't hold them at Bay Sleepless nights spend debating if my actions are creating A framework we can work with and build up a system That I've been planning in my mind, got it so well defined Tomorrow I wake up and hustle my goals practical and actionable But I'm looking for a chance to change my stance and spend some time on this Can I win you over or will life tell me "Go Fish"

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