#im scared cause i just dont feel like people vibe with me

[sophiesonlinediary]

Official TTPD Review

Fortnight - Such a vibe with headphones on, but still far from being my favorite though. I'm quite shocked this is the first single but I do really like it now at the second listen, still sad post malone didn't get his own verse i was excited for that :/

The Tortured Poets Department - The charlie puth mention really ruined verse 2 for me sadly, but the bridge ruined my life "At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finge. And put it on the one people put wedding rings on. And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding" LIKE WTF HEART = BROKEN the title of the song is really cool but i dont know i wasnt expecting the song to sound like this.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys - I think this may be my second least favorite from this album i dont understand why i didnt really like this song. Maybe it was the vibe of the song and sound especially the choruses which sadly didnt hit. i love how she wrote about a rocky relationship in this song. I feel like this one will definetly be a grower

Down Bad - literally one of my favorites from the whole album. Maybe it's cause the sound feels familiar to me kind off like midnights vibe. But wow that chorus is amazing truly so catchy and the lyrics like wow. i love this song so muchhhh

So Long, London - Not what I expected but still so heartbreakingly pretty. I love her voice in this song it's so pretty and the lyrics are so good oh my god. I swear the verse 3's in this album are vile. "I died on the altar waitin' for the proof" like god damn this whole song is amazing.

But Daddy I Love Him - I loved this song so fucking much. When she said "I'm having his babies" my face dropped and then she hit me with "no not really but you should see your faces" was really fun i'll probably never forget that. i believe this song is of everyone trying to decide her love life for her. And her being like fuck you guys it's my life and you have to accept it and i love her for that!

Fresh Out The Slammer - Those choruses are so good man especially the second one is so good and so me. On first listen this one isn't very memorable but still really good. Now that i've listened to it more like i love this song so much too and the bride ahhh <333

Florida !!! - Ok so maybe i'm a little biased but man this one is so fucking good. I have loved Florence and Taylor for years so like them collaborating was like everything and more. I have now listened to the song like thrice and wowwwww i love it so muchhhhh. Taylor, Florence, Fl welcomes you with open arms man. And like verse 3 was so good their song writing skills are out of this world.

Guilty As Sin? - What an interesting song, like man, idk how to feel. I love the chorus fs. I've come to interpret this song as her having thoughts of a man who possibly isn't available per say or it's just something that can never happen between the two but the want for eachother is there. "They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly" I love this lyric btw and the chorus right after like wowwww

Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me - ME IM SCARED WTF. Her screaming that line was everything and like the second half of the song is so incredible like wow. also this line has stuck with me since last night "Then we could all just laugh until I cry" ALSO THE ASYLUM WHERE THEY RAISED ME SDJNVFI. I love how she's kind of portraying herself in this song as like the stereotypical scary neighbor in movies. At least that's how I saw it. The whole bridge is incredible and magnificent I adore this song.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) - GIRL NO YOU CANT AND IM SO HAPPY YOU ACCEPTED THAT. Once I got past the point that this song is about ratty healy I really liked it. it's vibes are so good and the imagery is amazing.

loml - what if i said this should've been track 5. This was the only song in the album I cried to on first listen. It hit me like a bullet and I will never forgive cat lady swift for not preparing me for this song. Literally so fucking hurtful i'm screaming oh my lord. I- no im never getting over this song, sorry not sorry. And the fact "They almost had it all" but there life was cut short aka the relationship ended oh god kill me.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart - I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. This song is heartbreaking don't let the production fool you, the lyrics want to make you rip you're hair out. And you know what i'll be dancing to this song with a broken heart. "The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night. I can show you lies" it's giving mirrorball like augh i love this song so much!!! and the chorus is everything "I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague" SO FUCKING REAL.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - DRAG HIS ASS TAYLOR YEAHHHH. HELLO WTF THIS SONG IS SO GOOD AND FOR ALL OF U HATING ON IT U JUST DONT GET IT THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVENESS IS EVERYTHINGGGG. mad woman you'd be proud asf. also my religion mentioned as a tongue in cheek to his anti religion views 👏

The Alchemy - I'm not gonna talk about this song much but like I didn't like it at all, i'm sorry. It sounds like one of those Kelce parody songs 😭

Clara Bow - Not the name-dropping herself, damn. I wanna manifest that second pre-chorus btw 🤞 i need to see the light of manhattan. I truly love this song and I can tell it's very personal to her. she's had such an unbelievable career it's always interesting when she writes about it. loved this as the album closer!

this is my ttpd review. remember im just a girl who's only listened to this album twice so please dont drag me for these opinions. gonna do the anthology later!

#sophie's diary entry #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #soo good and pretty <3

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

hello! im reasonably new to your account and i just saw that you have an arcana playlist (love the idea of that) and i dont know if you still take suggestions for the playlist, but in case you do, i have a few songs that remind me of characters (aka just Muriel, like literally just him) that might be of use :)

On the Mountain Tall - the Oh Hellos, not only does the name and the general vibe of the song fit him but there are a few lyrics in it like "I know you want me to be afraid, I know you want me to love you" "Up out of the grave of an angry ghost, Firing bricks from broken canon and prose, To build a wall so high it reaches the heavens in the sky" "Still you beat your drums, Raising holy war with every strum, Shouting down the quiet kingdom come, Brushing at your fingers, hoping you'll come around" that honestly just fit very very well

How to Disappear Completely - Radiohead cus its sad as fuck. "I'm not here, This isn't happening, I'm not here, I'm not here, In a little while, I'll be gone, The moment's already passed, Yeah, it's gone", if thats not a man dissociating through traumatic expiriences i dont know what is. The song keeps repeating "im not here", and seeing how Muriel chose to have a curse that makes people forget him, it is very fitting

Trapdoor - Twenty One Pilots, i have had an arcana obsession since like? 2019? when i was still a massive fan of this band, and this song always reminded me of muriel. "Take me out and finish this waste of a life, Everyone one gather around for a show, Watch as this man disappears as we know, Do me a favor and try to ignore, When you watch him fall through a blatant trapdoor, 'Cause nobody know his life (i always thought it was "he's alive")", it gives the vibes of how the people of vesuvia did Not Give A Shit About him. They just thought hed willingly murder so many people, nobody saw the literal chains he was stuck in and thought "hmm maybe hes being forced to do this"

No Suprises - Radiohead, it reminds me of how Muriel pulled away from all society after he fled from the colosseum. It reminds me of how he was so scared and so ashamed to interact with people, how he just wanted some silent and rest after all the horrible things he went though, not just in the colosseum but his entire youth. "You look so tired, unhappy. Bring down the government, They don't, they don't speak for us. I'll take a quiet life, A handshake of carbon monoxide, No alarms and no surprises, No alarms and no surprises, No alarms and no surprises, Silent, Silent", to me the song always feels like it needs to be sung while sobbing.

Sleep - My Chemical Romance, i 100% believe Muriel has so many nightmares, i mean its even shown in his route once. A symptom of ptsd is night terrors, and seeing what the guy has lived through theres no way he goes to sleep normally. I think this song catches the vibe of this pretty well.

PTSD - Joost, literally just a (dutch) song about ptsd. its a massive vibe and cus i hc that Muriel has ptsd i thought it be fitting

Me? Having massive brainrot abt Muriel? perhaps...

i hope this can be useful for your playlist!! (also if youd like i can give more of this, it is very fun to do lol)

@canofpeaches00000 woah, these are all awesome suggestions! I really appreciate how you broke down the lyrics and added context to them too, it doubled my capacity to enjoy them! ^.^

I've added them to the playlist and I'm putting them on the tag, thank you for all the recommendations friend! :D

#ask arcana brainrot #arcana brainrot playlist #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana game #muriel of the kokhuri #muriel the arcana

[kristiemewisstan]

The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology Review (or me slowly going from spiraling in excitement to madness to sadness in 1 hour):

The Black Dog-

SO GOOD THIS IS SO GOOD IM YELLING THIS HAS MY FAV PRODUCTIKN THUS FAR I STILL XANT BELIEVE IT EITHER TAYLOR WHAT TGE FUCK | listen 2 cause I was to hype to truly listen, the magic fabric of her dreamin’ 🥺, oh the original father cheated song, DO YOU HATE ME? ooooof the fact that she felt made fun of by him and still went on to do her shit is so strong and I love her, your honor

imgonnagetyouback-

This one is VERY GOLD RUSH and I’m in love (I’m so sorry I’m not gonna be able to be unbiased rn because I’m too fucking excited), the ahh ahhhhs are so GOOOOOOODDDDD

The Albatross-

“One less temptress one less dagger to sharpen” OOF I feel like I’m in terrible danger of a heart attack, Taylor, I-I Love This Song So Much it’s so folklore

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus-

THIS IS SO GOOOOOOOOOD TAYLOR WHAY THE FUCK MAN, Certified Horse Girl, I’m gonna need to be medicated after this

How Did It End?-

I HEREBY CONDUCT THIS POSTMORTEM IS SUCH A HARD LINE TO START A SONG WITH, the amount of piano overall in these pleases me IMMENSELY, SITTING IN A TREE D-Y-I-N-G yeah Taylor that’s what YOU ARE DOING TO ME

So High School-

THIS IS WHAT I WANTED THE WHOLE ALBUM TO BE, 💯 made to vibe like a coming of age story, “YOU GONNA MARRY KISS OR KILL ME” I LOVE HER, bridge goes HARD

I Hate It Here-

scared to go outside, OH MU GOD JUST THE WHOLE SONG I KEEP WANTING TO WRITE LYRICS DOWN, so folklore, this ones it, ITS IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH

thanK you aIMee-

Oh so we cheated okay Joe I see how it is your days are numbered, SING FUCK YOU AIMEE, HELL YEAH TAYLOR, ID WRIT A THOUSAND SONGS THE YOU FIND UNCOOL, ITS ON SIGHT, OH ITS HAPPY NOW YAY

I Look in People’s Windows-

Okay stalker much lol, this one is sad :(, very pretty though I’m sorry I can’t focus on the lyrics I’m too hype, very folklore so very sad

The Prophecy-

THIS SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER SONG BUT I CANT PLACE IT it’s gonna kill me, “who do I have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy” rip my heart out my god, DONT NEED MONEY JUST SOMEONE WHO WANTS MY COMPANY, also a very sad one

Cassandra-

snake mention 🐍, THE ALTO UNDERLAY OH MY GOD, I normally am not the largest fan of vocal layering when it’s this obviously but this is absolutely lovely, this one tells a VERY GOOD story, “BUT THEY NEVER SPARED A BRICK FOR MY SOUL” OOOOOOF

Peter-

the piano started off this song and I immediately smiled and it ends up being such a bittersweet song, “promises oceans deep but never to keep” these songs rip my heart more and more and more, CAUSE LOVES NEVER LOST WHEN PERSPECTIVE IS EARNED this really hurt me, this longing hurts me

The Bolter-

She’s a runner she’s a track star! THE CHORUS ugh I love it Taylor why do you have to be so good, yeah this one was very good and I relate to being scared of commitment after heartache SOOO MUCH

Robin-

“Strings tied to lovers” IM CRYING, “ALL THIS SHOWMANSHIP TO KEEP IT” JOSEPH YOU FUMBLED SO HARD, THE INVISIBLE STRING RIFF IM ALREADY CRYING YOU DIDNT NEED TO DO THAT TO ME, i will never be able to listen to this song and invisible string in the same day I think it’s genuinely break me

The Manuscript-

the opening piano made me close my eyes and take a deep breath in, New Year’s Day vibes BUT SAD, oh god you know what I’ll kill him, I’ll take the hit, she knew what the agony had been for 🥹 fuck

First Listen Overall- 10/10

I have no notes it was everything I dreamed the actual album would be Taylor please let me buy this on vinyl I need to have it in my grasp also please give me the lyrics written out so I can analyze it plz

I don’t have a favorite they are all my favorite you could pay me to choose

#you can see exactly where I went from losing my mind to being able to actually analyze the songs lol #all spelling errors happened in the breakout and were not corrected for posterity #taylorswift #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ttpd #the tortured poets department the anthology #ttpd the anthology #ttpdta

[junkermcqueen]

idk why, but im gonna go on a rant about the dead by daylight ship between david king and dwight fairfield for no reason. disclaimer: my opinions don't really mean jack here tho bc im a lesbian and mlm opinions probably matter more in this case

ok im gonna start this by saying i'm neutral on the ship i dont give a damn, but some depictions bother me. like please for the love of god don't turn dwight into nothing but an uwu baby even though he is a little bitch. i know it's tempting. because then it ends up that david is just I'll Protect You and it gives me 2008 bad yaoi manga vibes like PLEASE dont play into the gender roles! by said gender roles i am referring to the fact that often in relationships between the same gender, one is assigned "feminine" and the other "masculine" mirrored after straight relationships even though that's completely unnecessary. like don't do that.

dwight is a nervous little bitch canonically and i know this, but also he does have some leadership traits. like read his lore. bro is terrified but apparently has learned to kind of face it head on even tho he's still scared just like everyone else. that, to an extent, makes him a little bit strong and a little bit brave. very stubborn in that he holds on to his pathetic little life (sorry i just gotta make fun of him a little). so like.. if david likes dwight, i feel like he would admire these qualities. just saying. and david isn't a god of a man either, im sure he has his moments where dwight needs to actually Assist him. so like... you know, mutual respect and admiration instead of "YIPES DADDY IM SCARED UWU!" and "dont worry bae i'll protect you with my big man muscles 😤"

ok thats it that's all i have to say. im sure people do agree with this take and i just judged people too quick but i was in a ranting mood. if this post causes any drama i will hide for the rest of my life

#dead by daylight #dbd #david king #dbd david #dwight fairfield #dbd dwight #kingfield #why am i scared to post this #lgbtqa

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

sorry if you see this and im not replying to dms super fast. today has really been draining and not for great reasons. kinda feel nonverbal and quiet right now.

not as bad as itd been years in the past for vdays. i think this one has been surprisingly well, but my manager made it a big 180 despite being on an edge all day mentally. i said i wasnt gonna have a mental breakdown, and i very much didnt compared to the past three years. but i did however get stopped by this coworker when i was leaving early in the parking lot after the manager interaction of putting me in a shit mood. then unintentionally started crying when trying to explain why i was upset to her.

thanks to her for hugging me. she didnt need to, but realizing how touch starved i am despite hating touch... genuinely, i dont think she understands how much i needed that cause i havent had a hug in like almost... i dont know.

and its different now because im not used to having irl "friends" or people who i talk to like that not online, but i think after that interaction it made things easier. i still went home and cried but i think its honestly an annual tradition at this point haha- the only difference is that im not asking the same situationship girl to be my valentine for the fourth year in a row like a literal clown. i think after all this time its finally reaching the point where life is getting better and im healing. the pain is still there sometimes like this but... people care... people actually care about me.... and... that alone makes me want to cry because how??? how did i get so lucky to finally get to that point. how did i get to this point to meet those people i needed years ago. im glad that theyre in my life now, but it still scares me a bit getting close to people and being vulnerable because im afraid of losing them too. i have so many new people compared to last year. i was so low then, too. i remember it. i had this whole thing set up and then ended up crying at work because IM DUMB AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT MY ENERGY INTO THAT.

but these new people- they care. and things are better. so much so compared to then. 😭

i want to write something. idk. im just super introverted, and im glad she's a chill person. we really have an eda luz dynamic im ngl 😭. i... i really appreciated that.

anyway i just... wanted to put this somewhere. its not as a negative thing. im way happier now, but dealin w that has just stunted my vibes temporarily. hope things are doing good if u see this. idk.

#will delete later #billys talking ig #slight vent??

[bulbabutt]

listen im not trying to be a hater i just think tf prime represents something of the moment in time it was made and i dislike it a lot. it clearly is trying to be like the bad movies, stylistically and character wise. it loses its own identity in trying to make a cartoon out of that concept, because it cant.

its full of so many words that it tries to give meaning to, all being names or objects from previous shows, even using song lyrics from the 86 movie, while its central conflict becomes about politics it barely understands. trying to make me care if the decepticons or autobots press the magic button that will restore their home planet because whoever does so will have a POLITICAL edge when the other cybertronians return home (they never do)

it barely grasps what the source of the war was. what starts as revolution against an oppressing class became a war between two guys with differing beliefs on how to achieve justice. but when the difference in their politics is literally 'i will get justice even if it resorts to violence' vs 'i dont believe in violence' and then you HAVE A WAR SO BAD IT CAUSES YOUR PLANET TO DIE you need to grapple with the consequences of that. the characters should bring that up. the vibes between optimus and megatron should be more familiar than they are. like a magneto and professor x thing, a former brotherhood turned sour, but knowing each other better than anyone despite their opposing views.

(rambled on for a while so cut)

in other shows we're left wondering what the history is, seeing these two titans who have been fighting for millions of years, we rarely see any specifics and so we're left to make our own conclusion based on the relationship we see. here its more about making the lore heavy than it is about how the characters back story relate to how they act.

to get into how the characters as a whole interact it seems less interested in making characters seem like real people than the g1 cartoon, which by all accounts was just a silly toy commercial. there is no sense of brotherhood among the autobots and no real love for earths living creatures outside of these 3 children (and the us government). none of the autobots feel like characters, they have no real personality or individual quirks (besides ratchet) and optimus most of all feels like he is just here to stand in the corner of a scene and give a good soundbite line. something vague that somewhat relates to whats being said, it feels like 'well we have peter cullen lets let him say something cool'. style over substance.

meanwhile the decepticons despite being so bloodthirsty and brutal, constantly forget and forgive each other for literally attempting to kill each other every episode. in one episode megatron tells starscream if he doesnt find him worthy of rejoining the decepticons that he will kill him. then we see him watch all of starscreams betrayals from over the course of the entire show, we see no reason he should ever forgive starscream and then at the end he simply.... doesnt kill him. he forgives him and keeps him around. this is supposed to be the scary bloodthirsty megatron who was a gladiator and has no problem with violence, yet he lets the character who stole victory after victory from him live. it makes no sense in this 'the more serious show'. but then it works out cuz starscream just stops being who he was and then just genuinely follows megatron. so. idk i guess the goal was scare him. thats the end of that whole plotline then.

starscream specifically seems too goofy here because he constantly fails at everything. theres a part of how you make this character work thats fully missing here, and thats his sense of self preservation. he doesnt have one. he makes decisions that make no sense, he betrays everyone and walks into traps set by them despite knowing they want him dead just to make him as pathetic as possible. when he loses his t cog its especially apparent because he just. went to the guys that wanted a t cog after destroying bumblebees and hes like "whoopsie oh well" and then is surprised they turn on him and take his. comparing this to the g1 version and saying 'this one makes more sense' kills me. it doesnt. g1 knows when to fold. thats why it feels like knockout feels more like starscream to me, hes the only one calculating and staying quiet until he sees the power shift.

the show is frustrating to watch because it just seems like characters waiting around doing nothing but reacting to things, but in the meantime theyre not really being characters at all, theyre not being enjoyable or lovable to watch outside of their names reminding you 'they are iconic IP, please buy these toys.'

and they dont look very good either, clearly trying to mesh together the overly complicated ugly mess that is the b*yverse with cartoon proportions. specifically anyone designed in that first 5 episode. the designs are all top heavy, their faces so flat mouths so plain, but everyone has these very detailed eyebrows to emote with. in arcees case she even gets detailed eyelashes.

and dont get me started on the 'arcee cant be pink cuz thats a girl colour and shes a girl but shes not a GIRL' problem. you put pink on her as her secondary colour. you put pink IN HER EYES. she has a skirt. she shows off an insane amount of robot midriff (somehow, cuz they painted her like that) her flat face for some reason has lips (which dont even look good, like warped metal around her mouth). so are you trying to design a girl character or not? be fucking honest about it. youre both embarrassed of pink arcee while also doing the same thing, making her small making her clearly the feminine one. and narratively ohhhh dont get me started (also this show decided to keep saying two wheeler in a way that meant girl and thats......ugh)

basically i just think when you try so hard to be so serious you end up being sillier than things that know theyre silly. if youre embarrassed of the media that came before you why even make it?

oh right. brand synergy. to advertise your new streaming network. to show off what cartoons can REALLY be like now. SUPER SERIOUS. SUPER CINEMATIC.

but i think it just didnt say anything about anything. it didnt represent anything. didnt make me care about anyone or any plight. any stakes it tried to add didnt matter. didnt do anything new, didnt really understand anything that came before. threw out ideas stolen from better shows. threw a new paintjob on hotrod, called him smokescreen, but then didnt have the balls to kill off optimus to make that character matter. kinda represents a lot of what i mean just in that regard alone.

i just think ive seen a lot of these shows now and this one has made me the most mad, cuz it is so 2010, its so cynical and mean spirited, its so lazy and cash grabby, its full of in name only references to make you point at the screen and go I KNOW THAT THING! without knowing why you ever cared about that thing.

and while im not trying to say its the worst one objectively (i dont rank shit like that) i am saying at least when it comes to something the masses would consider a 'worse show' like energon or bm or rid, at least all of those have their own identity and theyre not pretending to be something theyre not. theyre not trying to be cleverer than they are.

basically the people who wrote this are the people that wrote the first transformers movie, and that is where this plague of creating soulless reboot/remake/sequels to your favorite nostalgic media that hollywood has been stuck in ever since started, and you can TELL.

#long post #you ever watch a show that made you so mad for the state of media #if i throw up all my thoughts about this one maybe ill stop being so mad and calm down enough to watch something else #the tf binge thoughts

[system-comforts]

hi im questioning plurality and scared to ask systems i know irl about experiences and help so im asking for help here (im sorry if ive already sent an ask to this blog bc i /gen dont remember if i did)

okay i think im going to split this up into two sections, one for reasons I think I may be and symptoms, another for reasons why i think I may not.

Reasons I think I may be plural:

I frequently experience bouts of dissociating or just feel generally fuzzy and after i can feel a range of symptoms including: Feeling a new energy with me, confusion on where i am, confusion on who i am, feeling an off feeling, thinking something is wrong with my body or room and more.

I frequently feel multiple energys w/ me w/ different emotions, ages, and general vibes.

I constantly switch between feeling very strongly w/ one belif or gender to the point where it feels like i have always felt like this then not long after sometimes feeling the complete opposite.

I very often feel not incontrol and almost like someone else is in control of the body.

I occasionally say things aloud that i dont think I actually said and it feels like someone else did.

I occasionally think things that i dont think I actually thought and it was like someone else did.

I have occasional laspses in memory.

Reasons I think I'm not plural:

I have 3 irl plural friends so statistically its very unlikely that I am plural too.

I retain almost all memory from when I feel like I am different people.

I feel like I am always there no matter what.

The different energies I feel tend to be very similar to my own and I cant really distinguish between them for the most part.

I feel like I may just be experiencing symptoms of something else and confusing them for plurality.

I feel like I am forcing myself to experience symptoms of plurality.

I don't think the truama i have could have been bad enough for me to be plural (im sorry if there are plural ppl who dont have truama i js dont know much on that topic specifically)

Other things to note:

I have ADHD and Autism (un-medicated)

I have BPD or Bipolar disorder (me and my therapist are still discussing which we think it may be)

I hope someone sees this and could please help me figure out if maybe another disorder is making me experience these things or if those symptoms listed are genuinely symptoms of plurality because I cannot figure out if what I am experiencing is normal or not

also im vvvv sorry if this is a blog that connot help w/ this kind of thing /gen

Hello there. I can tell by the way your organized this ask you've thought a lot about this question! I'll try to answer most of your points and hope my input helps as you continue to evaluate this question.

Your first few points regarding amnesia for where you are, identity confusion regarding your gender, and depersonalization with your body, based on what you've said here, points towards fairly high dissociation. At the very least, looking into dissociative disorders in general might be a good idea for you (and your therapist) to explore. This is especially true if these symptoms cause a lot of distress and hardship in your life.

You also talk about not feeling in control of your body, your actions, and your thoughts. The way you describe these feelings is similar to how we and many other systems might describe it. However, it can also be good to also ask if the "someone else" who did and said these things was you in a heightened emotion or at a different time, or if it was a distinctly different person. Even singlets have a variety of emotions based on different situations. Consider how consistent these actions are, is there a pattern? Does x person mostly tend to react y way to z situation? We've found it helpful to establish patterns when trying to figure out if there's a headmate involved.

Regarding your reasons you may not be plural, there's a few things I want to note. Regarding your plural friends, I wouldn't say it's "statistically unlikely" that you're plural. To truly consider the statistics, you would want to look at total populations, like of a region or country, not just in a friend group. For example, some friend groups will have no one plural, but that doesn't mean plural people don't exist. Friends come together for a variety of reasons, largely for similarities in life experiences and identities. It's possible you've found friends similar to you in some regards, and this might include plurality.

Your next three points about retaining most of your memories, feeling always present, and how these "energies" feel similar to your own also do not entirely rule out plurality. These descriptions could be from a median system, which, on the sliding spectrum of plurality, is a sort of is not quite singlet but not quite as distinct as plural systems and their headmates. It might be helpful to look into median systems as well as possibly fragments as you continue to question if you're plural.

On your final point, I do want to point out that not every system experienced trauma. Some experienced trauma but it didn't cause their plurality, and some, even if they experienced trauma, may not feel it was "enough" to cause plurality. What you say about your trauma is what many other plural people say. Try to put that question aside as you question your plurality, or at least don't dig in too deeply.

Now for your notes. The high number of plural autistics has been frequently discussed in the plural community. Not every autistic is plural of course, nor is every plural, but it makes sense that those with different brains and neuro types would also show and develop other differences like plurality. Regarding your BPD or bipolar disorder, there are also systems with these disorders. So it's not really about being plural or having one of these- both can occur. What's important to consider is how the symptoms align with each disorder. Can your amnesia, dissociation, and these different "energies" be explained by BPD or bipolar disorder? Or is there something else going on in addition to that? I think that question might be helpful as your continue those discussions with your therapist.

I hope this has been helpful to you, and we wish you the best as you continue asking if you're plural!

-mod neptune

#mod neptune #ask #am I plural #questioning #plural #bpd #tw invalidation

[afaramir]

LOLL i was gonna start like ‘hey there im denethor anon’ but u beat me to it. SIMILAR MINDS. Haha i read one of ur fics, was immediately smitten & was like i MUST follow them. (I’m glad i did, love the vibe of ur blog and the Flavour of ur opinions.. TASTY) so im a more recent follower but i’m gathering younger you weren’t a fan of denethor, huh? Can’t say i blame you. PJ certainly made some Decisions. he was like how do i convert a complex character into The most loathsome creature ever. He really did our fav gondorians sooo dirty. I literally watch through those scenes SEETHING in rage.

So I’ve been Thinking about denethor and faramir and nothing else for two days. like i am a denethor girlie. in my mind. spiritually. haven’t posted much abt him on tumblr. but nowww. you’re exactly right, ‘denethor Is a good leader…[insert ur paragraph here]’ yes yes yes you get it. listen denethor was a prideful, angry, resentful man but he was also valiant, resilient and noble. He guarded his city, alone (which takes GUTS, again, he was a badass!!), so well, for literal YEARS that Sauron was fearful/wary of him. i wish people were more understanding of him. he’s such an interesting character there’s so much to explore there. as you said the duty-vs-love, the weapon-first-person-next of it all. the layers. denethor as a weapon. denethor as a symbol of both sword/shield. AAHHH

BUT i think some people dismiss him hate him bc he is the mirror (the ugly side? if that makes sense) of humanity, of us. we ought to show him some compassion tho ‘cause havent u ever been taken under the darkness of life? felt the world slipping away & struggle to keep up w it? dont u ever feel hopeless? that things will never change, no matter what u do? DO YOU HAVE FEARS HAVE YOU FACED THE MONSTERS? WERE YOU ALONE, SCARED AND HOPELESS? AND HAVENT YOU MADE MISTAKES IN YOUR GRIEF AND PUSHED PEOPLE AWAY?? THAT’S what denethor experienced. He was described as a leader & a learned one at that for christ sake. He knew that evil was awaiting him and his kin and his people! he saw his future. yet. yet he soldiered on until. war declared. his sons killed (or so he believed). that’s when hope abandoned him. what was the point of staying alive now anyway? Evil was upon them, they would surely be tortured w a fate worse than death, so why should he not end the pain and kill himself? he fought the war against Time, Evil and The Dark Enemy himself and WON. he was a brave man indeed, to have fought these dark forces so much stronger than him. but he finally lost the war against Despair (and Grief), the cruelest of them all. imma cry 😭😭😭 no no no u don’t understand he didnt give up hope, hope abandoned him he- [GUNSHOT] (i don’t know how much of this even made sense lmao) anyway,

Faramir <333. do i even have to say anything about faramir? he’s the specialest little guy i love himm 🥰. On god i am one step away from rereading lotr just for him (plsss dont tempt me finals are in less than a fortnight) his and denethor’s relationship like u described my godddd XDD. fucked up familial relationships MY BELOVED. i am feral about this trope. the resentment… the jealousy… the mirror image of each other… the you’re-the-same-like-me-and-i-hate-that… mmmhm. hey do u ever think about 12 year old faramir admiring his father much the same way he did boromir and wishing he would grow up to be just like him? and do you ever think about 28 year old faramir knowing that he’s more like his father than anyone else and hating that? hating him? i do.

I’ll stop now lol im afraid my coherency has diminished by now. also sorry sorry for replying so late i am preparing for my exams. but rest assured i WILL be Rotating faramir around in my brain :3

hiiii denethor anon LOL this is the greatest ask ive ever received. every day i endeavour to provide only THE juiciest of opinions. aka this is my diary and you all are subjected to it. anyway im so glad you liked my fic i would love to know which one you read! i got into lotr via the films when i was super young so my past opinions were def coloured by The Choices. i have learned and grown since then<3 i was watching the book-to-film analysis vids on the extended edition dvds a couple weeks back and it made me so mad that i had to get up and turn off the tv. did you know there are other character options besides 'paragon of virtue' and 'one dimensional villain'...truly kind of a "nice dichotomy idiot! now what lies outside of it" situation. A Waste Of Your John Noble, To Be Honest. idk i still hold the films very close to my heart but the choices...i will simply respectfully disagree. and dont even get me started on faramir we WILL be here all night. another time. i have denethor thorongil situationship-fic to write. (i am serious about that) (i was simultaneously playing it 100% straight serious AND kind of joking about them. i shouldve known better. well.........we are so in it.)

you are so real for this. i have ALSO been Thinking about denethor and faramir and nothing else for days. weeks, even. sorry to everyone coming to the faramir goes to rivendell au for faramir and the fellowship the first 10k is literally just Keeping Up With The Stewards. we'll get there. i Will blame you for the impetus for my recent denethorposting on main but also encourage you to also do this. do whatever you want forever<3 nooo but straight up...guy who has so much strength and will that The Lord Of All Evil wouldnt contend directly against him and had to bring out the big palantir guns to bring him down. and if he'd not lost both of his sons i mean...who knows what would've happened. sometimes your sons ARE the only thing keeping you from killing yourself Do It For Them-style and lets be real that is a valid coping method. (i don't have an answer for that one and boy oh boy do i wish i did. it is going to become a massive thorn in my side in, oh, 70k or so when i hit rotk. well...i will blow up that bridge when i get to it.)

im actually putting a read more in this time bc this post broke a thousand words. continue at your own risk. there IS also faramirposting at the end here i promise.

just imagining denethor leading the siege of minas tirith. um. now stay with me here...riding out with imrahil's sortie. STAY WITH ME HERE. what do you think the livery of a steward going to war looks like. jesus christ i need to go lay down. yes i purposefully placed the read more before i decided to go momentarily horny on main. its also lowkey very vague au spoilers. sorry everyone but denethor IS canonically hot and we need to acknowledge it. Anyway.

denethor as a weapon denethor as both a sword and a shield...i am chewing glass for real. you GET IT. god i love person-as-weapon metaphor soooo much. When The Iconography Is Getting A Little Too Real. denethor as gondor, as her vanguard and standard-bearer and. i am straight up frothing at the mouth. all he ever wanted was to be a gentle lord in a time of peace.....and death was his reward...Sorry For Stealing The Fingon Death Quotation But I'm Right. so much of his behaviour and the strain on his relationships with his sons and all that is sooo...informed by the fact that to cope with having to be lord of a country at war he had to be so so unbending. he couldn't allow himself to waver, ever, not even for love, not even to save his sons.

did you know he was 21 when sauron returned. pov you are 21 years young and you have been alone all your life you are the steward's only son you are his strange numenorean heir and no one else has the LITERAL PSYCHIC POWERS AND VISIONS that you do and you have had to contend with that, alone. master your own mind, alone. learn how the shape of politics and lordship and life bends around you. and the dark lord the enemy who brought down your forebears has now set his eye on your lands again. Jesus Christ. How Would You Fucking Deal. sorry i would have a nervous breakdown and go and live in the desert. Man. TWENTY ONE? LIKE ME? most days i feel like a teletubby with a job and a credit card. if you scale it to account for numenorean lifespan inflation i mean i don't know how the math works but like. i bet it comes out to being like. 17. HELLO? basically everyone i know was barely a person at 17. the dark lord of all evil and he's MY problem to deal with?

i mean exactly. haven't we all been prideful and angry and resentful. haven't we all been there. once again [pippin voice] let's all understand poor denethor a little better. havent you ever been taken under the darkness of life [your paragraph here] yeah exactly what you said. the idea that he fucking won the war against the darkness and only lost to despair is..........so much! goodbye i have to go cry!

faramir, me AND fate's most special precious little guy....oh captain my captain....exactly. Exactly. i cant morally endorse a reread right this second but like. After. make it through finals and then it is Faramir Time. (and good luck! you got this!) tactical smartass little bitch master of both man and beast wizard's pupil (complimentary) star and hope and jewel of minas tirith knight in shining armour...my beloved. the idea that like faramir as presented, as the diplomat, as the scholar, as the numenorean, was supposed to be the one to go to rivendell...it haunts me. where is denethor sends the right son to do the right job.txt. he is gondor's no. 1 horse girl he is better suited to the wild than the battlefield he has read every sindarin text in the library he KNOWS the story of elrond and elros. he is literally telepathic and psychic and prophetic. thinking about him interacting with elrond and galadriel (and every other elf. but them in particular) makes me feel deranged. its very...self taught dnd wizard meets guy who went to wizard school energy. he's insane.

YEAH ITS CRAZY THAT THEYRE THE SAME GUY. it's. boromir gets to be boromir but faramir has to be denethor.txt. gracious and lordly as a king of old...now who is consistently referred to as noble and kingly...that a younger faramir would've looked up to...yeah. the perpetuation of denethor's second-best complex. i have a whole nother post in the drafts about that i CANT get into it here but jesus christ men who are NOT breaking the cycle. they even look the same. i mean 37 year old faramir as steward is 100% the spitting image of his father and that makes me....genuinely fucking insane actually. i mean like older councillors are doing double takes every time he walks by. i mean like sometimes people call him by the wrong fucking name. WOW where did that come from. the complex that that would give him...hello? turning this over inside my brain at WARP speed.

you are not late at all lol we are leaving little letters in each other's mailboxes to read when we have the time. i hope your exams go well!!! there will be more Faramir And Denethor Hours soon<33

#from the inbox #Anonymous #denethor anon #Another 1000+ Word Denethor Post From Yours Truly (both of us). Sorry To The Dash. #by the way the idea of ONE GUY bearing both sides of the sword/shield dichotomy made me feel like i was gonna black out in the coffee shop #that was crazy shit LOL #btw if u want me to talk about the denethor thorongil situationship I Fucking Will. idk if u were here before my faramir february url chang #but what has happened to me with them is soooooo typical abby rarepairnation behaviour. Hey Wouldn't That Be Funny. now hold on a second. #long post #denethorposting

[rileys-battlecats]

hey! i recently found your youtube, then your tumblr, and have become embroiled in your cats world! i saw your recent post that your blog is only about a year old?? thats insane! do you have any tips on how to get people interested in your worldbuilding? and to get over being scared to share anything? i often dont share things because it never even occurs to me that others would be interested. do you have any thoughts on all this? what you're making seems like so much fun and I want to play in the space similarly, so to speak! anyway, really excited to see more from you--thank you for sharing!

bro i am still baffled that people wanna know more about my little kitty-cat characters. I don't really know how to get other people interested, cause im not sure what I did to get here lol!!

I started this blog after "The Garden" took off and people were asking about character references. And since I was open to people asking questions, and tried answering them in an engaging way, things kinda picked up from there! I already had a lot of worldbuilding ideas mushed in my brain so this blog kinda became an outlet for all that. I put my tumblr in my youtube bio and in my video's descriptions and then people started showing up haha! I was also lucky to have a few people who regularly asked questions about the world and the characters, which I think encouraged other people to ask their own questions. If you look at my earliest posts, they're all just character references with little descriptions of their characters, and it slowly turns into more and more answered questions that devolve into an info dump of worldbuilding or character details lol. I've tried to keep a semblance of mystery to the story while also giving the people here an inside look at the characters and world! People get to be a part of the storytelling, because they can send in their ideas or interpretations of events and we can expand on them together as a community!

As for getting over the fear of sharing, it honestly helps me that this is all online and I don't have to look at anyone's face to explain things lol. Trying to explain the story to my family when they ask about it is SO hard for me; I feel ridiculous when I try talking about it out loud to them, I always feel the need to downplay the topics I'm covering when I do. Which I recognize is a symptom of people making fun of my interests as a kid so now I'm incapable of talking about them as an adult BUT we don't need those bad vibes rn. The way I see it, the blog exists and if someone is interested, they'll look at what I'm posting! If they aren't interested, they won't look! So even if I post something and it gets no engagement, it's still there if anyone is interested enough to read.

On the whole, I think the secret to having success here is to be smiled upon by the youtube algorithm gods tbh!! I definitely would not have the community I have without that engagement from youtube lol. I was definitely lucky!! Part of it is because I've created an interesting story with interesting characters (at least, I hope they're interesting HAHA) but I think it would be disingenuous to not make a note of how much luck plays into online 'success'. So my only real advice would be to start creating! Try to make things that would interest you, things that you have fun working on, and hopefully people will find it! If you want to try to find a community to springboard off of, I know the folks in my discord are super nice and supportive with other people sharing their ocs :)

Thanks so much for the interesting question!! I hope it's helpful, I'm sorry I don't have much in the way of concrete advice ^^;; it's really been such an awesome experience to be able to share my ideas with everybody here, I wish you the best of luck in your own future projects!!

#ask #rye.txt #advice #sorry this took so long to answer! I was in a bit of a funk after posting my last video #and once I got out of that the new zelda game came out #and I got lost in the sauce

[chryzure-archive]

im sorry abt your surgery, ill be there in spirit to hold your hand if you need it <3 wishing you the best and hopefully its just a scare and nothing to worry too much abt!!

as for asks...

i always love your music taste so, 5 songs youve had on repeat lately that make you think of chryzure + chrysijacks? also, if they were each a pair of unlikely animal friends (ie, a pig and a monkey lol) which ones would they be? def feeling rabbit and cat for chryzure.

this question is a very self-indulgent one cus ive been going thru a huge superhero phase but, if they were superheroes which ones would they be? this could either be made-up or existing superheroes-- personally, i think chrysi would be an AMAZING black cat/felicia hardy, she has the white hair and the dark aesthetic to match it :3 i def think azure would be a mutant/x-men (no particular reason, it just seems to match him?) and jacks... well, jacks is just giving me deadpool energy. slutty antihero? i think yes. it'd be cool to know what kind of superhero abilities youd assign to them tho :33

thank you 🖤 please hold my other hand though, they’re cutting up my right one 🤧 hopefully there’s nothing to worry abt since my family has a history of the weirdness w/o the cancer..

chryzure songs:

so good right now // fall out boy (wanted the whole album to make me think of chrysigil, then it jst wound up being chryzure and chrysijacks coded…)

xyz // technoplanet (vv specific vibe, idk why, but instrumentals like this make me go crazy, go wild)

anicent history // the crane wives (teehee! in agony thinking abt them separated)

in my head // mike shinoda, kailee morgue ((bonus song, still alive // demi lovato because screamvi brainrot real….. jst saying the au goes wild!))

cartoon people // billie marten (the vibes themselves……)

chrysijacks songs (he’s more annoying):

chapstick // coin (sorry, juno…:(( sorry jacks ruined this for you)

summer // circadian clock, baethoven (biting him!)

blood in the cut // k.flay (sorry juno pt.2)

hold my like a grudge // fall out boy (part-time soulmate, full-time problem too real for chrysijacks…)

121U // day6 (I DONT WANT TO WANT YOU I DONT WANT TO LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!)

chryzure is kittybunny lovers all the time… they are doing this right now:

chrysijacks is kitty and fox… sorry, the legend of the archer and the fox is actually abt chrysijacks and chrysi’s the archer and jacks is the fox!! idk what was going on in the books, get ur facts right!

((more proof is that i had a chrysijacks song called the fox before the book came out + the lyrics imply jacks not wanting to be the fox and hunted down by the archer… explain this 🤨))

oh my god, i looked up black cat and you’re RIGHT, that’s sooo chrysi??? esp the probability thing… explains why azure’s gotten such bad luck over the years.

if i were to make chrysi her own superhero, hmmm….. i feel like she’d summon ghosts and stuff… ??????? idk, i’ve never thought abt it 🫢 i mean, the funniest option is totally that she can bring back the dead and summon ghosts and stuff, but she never fucking uses that in favor of bashing ppl’s heads in w a baseball bat. OH, wait, her fated abilities include causing fear and giving nightmares, so maybe i could do something like that!!! she can keep the ghost summoning thing if she wants. idk what name i’d give her. it’s so hard coming up w a good superhero name. nightmare is too basic + i’m sure there’s thousands of ppl w that superhero name 💀 oh well!

AZURE WOULD SOOOOO HAVE X-MEN VIBES. he gets to go to a special little mutant school and have like minded peers… little special princess boy 🙄 SOME people learned they inflict fear on ppl and had to deal with it ALONE, but it’s fine. it’s rlly okay.

his powers probably are jst spatial manipulation, but he’s good enough at it that it looks like it’s jst telekinesis… and also teleportation :) jst the idea of him tricking ppl he has one power when it’s actually another makes me go crazy, go wild!!! idk what his title would be either. this is HARD, how do comic book writers do it!!!

yes. jacks is a whore. fuck him. i want him dead in a ditch. his powers are making ppl love him and want to obey him? rlly? he gets everything handed to him on a platter???? killing him killing him killing him!!!! he’d be the villain that chrysi and azure have to take down first, but they get there and jacks is jst rlly lameand they’re like, “…….. okay, guess we’ll leave you alive….?” and now he’s a thorn in their side that doesn’t leave ://////

#IM BAD W SUPERHERO NAMES IM SO SORRY </////3 SOBBING INTO MY HANDS RN. #but yeah the cancer thing should jst be a scare.. #i have the next two years w checkups so it doesn’t become scary!! it’s jst not something i was very happy to learn #.asks #m.kai💛 #s.chryzure #s.chrysijacks #OH also let me know if you want a diff emoji in ur mutual tag!!

[aceaceace144616]

Welcome, Caller

by M Dean Wright

my thoughts in a nutshell: "oh no hes just like me fr"

ok i dont really review books or anything, thats my friend's job (cheeky promo alana_the_bibliophile on instagram) nah yeah but this one was just so good.

firstly, as a neurodiverse bi trans dude i related so hard to Malcom (the main character) with the overloads and insecurities and just everything. i may or may not have to get this entire transcript tattooed upon my person cos it just hits so close to home in places i didnt even realise until the book brought them to my attention.

like the whole thing about Malcolm not going after things that will make him happy (Peter) just cause he feels like hes so fucked up ± messing something up on purpose before you can mess it up by accident vibes. i literally said (in a squidward impression cos that is important information) "oh no hes just like me for real" out loud on a bus (but it was a loud bus so no one heard) (hopefully). also another thing, Peter telling Malcolm about his auDHD and what he likes + dislikes about sensory stuff. and Malcolm believing and respecting him. i just. its such wish fulfilment. that along with the rest of the story, its all just wish fulfilment. having multiple queer and neurodiverse friends that help you when youre struggling and will beat up your unsupportive family members. (also having a dude think youre hot. wouldnt mind)

secondly, it was just a good read. like i really enjoyed reading it, which hasnt happened for a while. it made me smile and laugh in public (which i never do). fr i was having a giggle on the bus, in class, in doctors waiting rooms, everything. i actually looked forward to reading it as well and i had to trudge through other stuff just so i could get back to it.

lowkey gives love simon vibes (from what i remember of the book when i read it in like 2018), just chock full of natural and believable sounding dialogue and references to things im sure ill actually like. (in my notes app on my old phone i went through the book and wrote down all the references made in love simon and it was pretty extensive (and now i have to do this for this book. oh no guess ill have to read it again oh this is so sad whelp better start now see ya)).

and like the friendship between the characters, the dialogue never felt too forced and they talked like actual people id talk to. swearing at and bullying your friends is a love language and it was done pretty well in this, and also the sending of memes being like an important step in a friendship is too real. also the revival of interest in records, my cousins poor bank account is a testament to that being relatable.

thirdly, the story. we got enemies to friends to lovers, we got 'there was only one bed', we got a road trip, we got a sickfic, and so much more and you know that i ate it up every time.

that as well as the epic highs and lows of making friends in your 20s (lol).

the book follows Malcolm slowly becoming friends with this irl dude Peter while falling for this 'mysterious' radio host Rebo, with his friends supporting him the whole time.

like i dont really go for romantic style stories but this was just so good (but then again ive barely read anything since back when i used to inhale books at like age 12) + the chemistry between Malcolm and Peter was just chefs kiss so good man.

also, the name Goby (one of his friends) kinda got me tho ngl, gobby is australian slang for… something, and i got a jump scare whenever they showed up lol.

Edit: they Goby on my Gumby till I Cheese. I'm so fucking sorry I had to write that down I couldn't get to sleep.

the only bad thing about the book (not that its bad bad, just like if i had to pick something) would be that the ending was made out of like 3 epilogues with indeterminable time skips between them. unless i missed something idk. im just more about the 'the characters kept on living' kinda ending, less 'albus serverus potter' style stuff, not that it was even like that tho.

but also wanting to own and run an incredibly specific cafe+store with your partner is just so fucking gay. oh my god. fanfiction shit right there /pos.

lastly, i haven't read heaps of books in the last couple years, preferring movies and shows more than my childhood self who lived in books series, almost like i didnt like reality or something (unthinkable ik)(i literally had this printed out and hung on my wall)(and on me liking movies more, thats a whole nother fucking topic and a half so ill complain about it in another post)(but anyway).

like honestly, i think that i might get back into reading, even though i forgot how many hours just fly by when i read, cos this was just great. (dont tell my mum she'll throw a fucking party)(again, different topic).

also admittedly, i did sotra kinda maybe slightly pirated it and read it off a pdf BUT! cos i like it so much im probably going to buy a physical copy (for almost 40 fucking dollars including shipping Jesus fucking Christ)

ik not a single person but me will see this review but i dont care. this book was made for me about me

tldr:

#long post #welcome caller #m dean wright #book review #yes i photoshopped that #and i am so tired #my cat is being a cutie trying to step on my keyboard so ill post this quick #does this count as fanart? #fanart #why not #i really just wrote a 1000 word essay huh #this pretty much follows TEEL as well #mrs sykes would be proud #my art #technically #mine

[idyllic-affections]

So quick question, ik your currently in the middle of the Xianzhou Arc but how much do you know about the High Cloud Quintet? Im pretty sure it’s not really mentioned that much in the story quest but i wanna know how much you know about since i have one BIG BRAINROT OF PLATONIC HSR CHARCTER AND READER BREWING that i wanna share but i dont wanna spoil you

All of the vidyadhara are aware they are going to forget everything but they seem to fine with it. They all know when they’re going to be self reincarnate, so im guessing they have some time to wrap up some loose ends. Also about the vidyadhara writing diaries thing, that is actually canon, as some vidyadhara leave diaries, information or heirlooms for their incarnation to inherit. However, many newly reborn vidyadhara lack emotion and are unable to identify sentimental items belonging to their past selves, so any discarded items are resold as trinkets. Which is honestly sad but a good source of angst if you know what i mean ;)

But yeah they cant pass down their lineage which fun fact, caused one of the Xianzhou ship, the Xianzhou Fanghu to cut off most of their communication and trade with the other Xianzhou ships (the reason was they are trying to recuparate from the Third Abundance War)The Xianzhou Fanghu is mostly governed by the Vidyadhara and with how they are trying so hard to avoid their population to decrease (bc again if a viydhara dies, it becomes a very serious issue) i have a feeling it is definitely going to be part of the story quest in the unknown future. (How do i know all this? The HSR wiki and my incessant need to research everything and anything relating to my brainrot :) )

Ok so i sadly havent played the fontaine quest yet (i have no time to play genshin impact and honkai star rail together. So i have to sacrifice one of them T.T) but what do you think of ex fatui agent reader adopting Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet? Am i saying that the reader should adopt anyone who are traumatized by the fatui? Yes. Am i trying to make the “Traumatized by the Fatui support club” bigger? Also yes. Idk i just want some hurt/comfort

Why do i feel like Qingque would run the second she sees her older sibling? Like she’s just slacking off but then her older sibling gets around the corner and she’s just gone. No evidence that she was ever there as she is NOT going to deal with their scolding today. She is immensely scared of their scolding and anytime they come back, she would be uncharacteristically doing her work. Basically Sayu and Kano Nana (a shrine maiden who is tasked to look after our sleepy ninja) vibes

- 🐱 Anon

hi lovely! i know like... nothing at all, but nonetheless, please do send me your brainrot and i'll get around to replying once i know more <33 if you put a spoiler warning at the top, i'll know to scroll past. plus i don't really take spoilers too seriously so don't worry too much!

THEY'RE AWARE?!?! THEY KNOW WHEN IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN????? i am INSANE about them omgwmevskhnevbf ALSO I LOVE THAT I LOVE BEING RIGHT /lh but ohkhngkhngbg...... that idea is so fascinating to me. it doesn't have to be sentimental, i think. it could just be... information. which i imagine if it were somehow useful to the newer incarnation, they'd be more inclined to keep what was left behind. but at the same time i don't think it matters if they keep it, because i feel like... there's a sort of distinction between incarnations. i feel like it would be wrong to consider them the same people. i imagine there are probably some vidyadharas who lived vastly different lives throughout incarnations. so it feels like there should be a certain amount of... distance and separation between incarnations. so perhaps rather than seeing it as "my past self left something behind for me," it would be more like "my predecessor left something behind for me" because in a way, incarnations could be seen as related, but maybe they shouldn't be seen as the same as one another?!?!?! IDK I'M RAMBLING SORRY

as for lyney lynette and freminet--were they traumatized by the fatui, though? i'm not sure that they were. i don't think they're evil, but i also don't think they were victims of the fatui necessarily and i think they work voluntarily for arlecchino. i think their intentions are good. i do not think the fontaine siblings are evil... but, ex-fatui agent [name] knows better than anyone that the fatui is downright evil and wicked. dottore's affairs generally do not concern the knave, so i think they would be less guarded around the siblings despite knowing that they are fatui, because what are they going to do? tell arlecchino? it doesn't concern her. i also believe [name] would warn them. "i know you all have good intentions," they'd say, "and you want to help, but the fatui does not help. they have never helped. a shitty person can do one good thing, but that does not make them any less of a shitty person." which is in reference to the good thing arle did. didn't she like... murder a creepy old guy?? yeah. i think. anyway. idk if that's canon or not but. [name] wants to help them, they do, but they are not willing to put their family (collei & scara) in danger for some random kids. what those three do is up to them. [name] knows the most vile sides of the fatui very personally. their advice, when it comes to the fatui, is not to be taken lightly. if the fontaine siblings want to run away? great. [name] will help. they've evaded the doctor for years; if he can't catch them, what makes the knave think she could find the siblings if they were helping them hide? she couldn't. simple. but if the siblings don't want to run? fine by [name], but that will be the last time they speak to those three, no matter how much they plead and promise not to utter a word about the fact that they met a highly-coveted fatui escapee.

[name]'s family comes first.

but please note that i haven't done the quest either! so idk how in-character that is for the fontaine siblings.

ANYWAY AIDHSKGJG SHE TOTALLY WOULD. she may have been slacking off before but you BET she is up on her feet and running for her life the second she hears that her big sibling is back.

#aphelion replies: 🐱 anon 🌸

[babiebom]

Im a Bit curious about who your favorite characters are from the fandoms your writing for (also love your taste in kpop)

PS: k-drama recommendation

- Strong Woman Do Bong Soon

- Until we meet again (it's thai but still good)

- The sadness (Korean film)

- How may I help you

- Mouse

- Lovenest

- Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo

- Style (from 2009)

Ohoohoo~ anon you fell into my trap I love ranting about my faves also thank you(x3) for the recs Strong Woman Do Bong Soon is one of my favorite kdramas and Park Boyoung is like my third favorite actress so I already know your taste is good without having seen anything else also putting my faves below the cut because only god himself can stop me now. (I promise I will try to keep this short and sweet)

Warnings: spoilers for some series, cursing, bit of sus wording and thoughts yknow

Stardew Valley

Sebastian (Sebby/Seb/Loml)

Can you tell that I'm a sucker for grumpy bf x sunshine gf tropes????

Honestly along with the reader insert fic in gonna write(lets hope I finish it) I wanna write maybe a Seb x OC or something idkidk

Of the bachelorettes Penny is my favorite bc shes lowkey me (I sometimes teach kids and I want to have a bunch of them love housewife vibes)

In ridgeside so far Phillip is my favorite mostly bc I don't know the others that well amd im only gifting 6 people at a time and he just so happened to get picked he's so cute I love it when people are passionate about something

In Stardew Valley Extended Victor is the loml like yeah he's a rich guy but he also seems like a huge nerd and I love him

Also Claire(the joja mart girl) my tired queen plus

Also in terms of the kids Yuuma>Jas>Vincent>Trinnie>Keahi

Mystic Messenger

At first I was a Zen girl

Then I was a Yoosung girl

Then I was a Jaehee girl

Then I was a Jumin girl

And now I'm in my final form as a Saeyoung girl

I love him so much my man my man

I played this game for MONTHS like I was at school pulling my phone out to hurry through a chat room so i didn't miss anything

Was waking up in the middle of the night

The chokehold these men had on my PLS

Five Nights At Freddy's

Ok so at first i hated this game bc im a crybaby and it scared me so bad

Also bc I had an intense fear of animatronics and people in the mascot suits as a kid after going to chuck e cheese and being terrified of the things om stage and then getting stuck in a ride its a whole thing omfg

But then security breach came out and I was like oh? Why'd they make the animatronics sexy????? So like the first couple of games I dont have a favorite(except i think Chica is ugly dont hate me) bc like theyre kid souls but since the sb animatronics arent ghost kids indo have a favorite

Which is Monty

I love him he is my gator man<3333 also justice for Foxy I know he would've been cute af.

Dead By Daylight

Killerwise Ghostface is my favorite

And I know its a basic bitch answer but omfg that man could be the cause of my demise and I would say thank you

Also Oni is cool

Also trickster is cute

Womanwise for killer the Artist is my favorite shes so pretty I love her

I hate specifically wesker and the twins I feel like i needed to add this BC I hate them so much also Freddy kreuger but like thats obvious bc its included in my rules

Survivors I love are Leon(again basic bitch answer) Jake Park, Dwight, and theres more but i cant remember r n

For women its Nea(I main her), Meg, Ada, Kate, Elodie, again theres more but I cant remember and my brain is hurting

I do not like feng min or whatsherface the kpop manager lady bc of how people play them

Twilight

Team Edward or Jacob?

I am an Emmett girl

I am also a Seth girl

They have been the loves of my life since the movies came out

When I read the books I liked Carlisle the most <3

Honestly twilight making a comeback was the best tike for me bc of all the new content people were making

I love the series pls

Also again Womanwise Rosalie is the loml

Also alice

Also Esme

Also Leah

Pls the women are so amazing

Harry Potter

Also lemme preface this by saying I do not agree with jkr or anything she has been saying

But I did get into this fandom a couple years ago when i was in high school because of a friend

And I do still love the series but now I only consume fanmade things

That being said Remis Lupin has my heart

Also Fred and George

And Cedric

And if anyone wanted to know my house I am a Hufflepuff<3

The Outsiders

Through and through I am a Dallas girl

Can yall tell my type yet?

When reading the book I was also a Johnny girl and I literally wanted the best for him and was so mad When he DID NOT GET IT

Now that I'm older that entire situation is bullshit

Like as a 22 year old that still lives with her family the thought of having to take care of myself plus younger siblings with no help and also have the house where everyone hangs out stresses me out

Like I love my little sister but i am so glad my parents have raised us to have and keep jobs even if we hate it bc I know she would help me with everything

Like I know Soda helped as much as he could but GOD bad situation for everyone

Johnny did not deserve the ending he got

The Walking Dead

Okay so lemme just say that I am into dilfs this is a dilf loving safe space idc

Rick can get it and him being lowkey insane is attractive (do not be like me pls)

Love his long hair

Also had a crush on Carl when he was in the show (he is a year older than me im not a creep)

I have not gotten to later seasons so maybe there are still cute people idk i need to re watch

I also hated Lori and Shane with a passion

I still do

I cannot imagine hooking up with my husbands friend of my friends husband or whateverbskkakslal

I will rant on and on about this it genuinely makes me mad

I do however love Maggie and Peggy(is this her name? The sister?) We love country girls

I am a Michonne simp through and through

I am a simple lady

Cool woman with sword? Count me in

Once Upon A Time

Though I hate Regina I find her so attractive its not even funny

When I was younger i had a huge crush on Peter Pan

Now rewatching I am a Captain Hook Simp

Also Mad Hatter

Also Ruby

Also Graham in season 1 if anyone remembers him

Gawd these men

Ruby number 1 IDC IDC

Also Mulan

PLEASE

I have also not gotten super far in this show

Marvel

I'm gonna just list my favorites bc like I already feel super exposed and im writing all of this in one go bc I am so excited to share but my phone is broken

So number one is Steve im so mad he went back to Peggy but at the same time he deserves happiness

Number two Bucky again im a basic girl and tragic men attract me idk

Peter loml so cute also the only spiderman movies ive seen dont kill me

Wanda love her still have not seen Multiverse of madness last thing i watched is wandavison

Loved pietro

Thor my bb

I cannot think of any more

Doctor Who

I guess this one is going to be different because I have only seen new who and I do not dislike any doctor at all so i guess imma just rank them

9th(watched his season twice once when I was younger and was just getting into the show and then once a couple years ago when I committed to watching the show)

11th

10th

12th

13th(I do not hate her I am just new to her bc I am still on her first season since i procrastinate to make the series last longer)

Then i guess I'll rank the companions bc again I dont really dislike anyone

Martha(best girl i love her so much)

Donna

Amy

Clara

Bill

Yasmine

River(literally going to name a kid River bc of how much i like the name)

Graham

Rose

Jack

Ryan

Nardole

Rory

Mickey

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

I have had a crush on this man since 2005

Since I was FOUR YEARS OLD

The first time i saw him I fell in love

No one will compare to my love

Hotch is a close second I do love my dom daddy(I am so sorry for saying this)

Penelope is also my love but in a platonic i would kill someone for her kind of way

Also Emily

White Lotus

Okay so lemme start by saying

Season 2 >season 1

The only people i like im season 1 are Tanya and Belinda

Everyone else are kind of dislikeable

Well the rich guys wife is fine but shes not my favorite

Season 2 however i like like half of the characters

Obviously Tanya is on the list bc she is so funny

But Ethan is my favorite especially later in the season bc again guys like that are my thing

Also Harper but mainly bc of Aubrey

Then Daphne is the loml and she deserves better

And Lucia my bb

And Valentina

And Albie even if he seems like a "nice guy"

Love these characters

WE HATE GREG IN THIS HOUSE

Ouran High School Host Club

Takashi Morinozuka has my entire heart love this man

Honey is just me but male

And Haruhi loml pls shes so cute but also she tries to be the best person I love her

Also Kasanoda(and in the manga the girl he ends up with is kinda cool)

This again should also just be a ranking bc i love all the characters but im gonna limit myself

Kuroshitsuji

Again imma give a basic bitch answer and say Sebastian

I know hes a demon

I know he would hate me bc duh

But pls sir

Give me one chance

Also the undertaker

Also Agni

Also snake and joker

Grelle would be my platonic soulmate shes so funny

I also would like to protect Ciel(not the twin like not the real ciel or whatever I mean our ciel)

Like I understand that he basically siccs his demon on people and had them killed

But at the same time in my eyes he is literally just a traumatized little boy and i feel so bad for him

I know hes fictional but if i could change what happened to him i would

Finny is baby

I have typed for too long pls

Also thank you for asking this<3 feel free to ask other things and request stuff!!

#stardew valley #kuroshitsuji #ouran high school host club #the outsiders #the white lotus #once upon a time #twilight #harry potter #criminal minds #doctor who #mcu #dead by deadlight #the walking dead #five nights at freddy's #security breach #mystic messager #im so sorry #my type is so obvious this is embarassing

[toontails]

I'm not a super physical person, contact scares the shit out of me unless I know you ( in which im less terrified and more like "haha no.. ok fine just once you crybaby" ) and here's a list of the mfs I am trusting to be around me 👍 ( includes platonic contact, most contact i make is in platonic context but i know some people dont have the same lines as i do when it comes to that stuff )

Oswald - Top of the list because I know he know how to handle scary shit, he'd be gentle and careful with me and I love the patience it's what I need, I love mfs who can wait for me 🥺 I'd be okay with giving him a hug ( i dont like those but theyre okay depending on who's giving them ) and maybe I'd give him a lil besito on the cheek/hand/forehead but anything beyond that you'd have to have a ring on buddy 😎

Donald - I know we homies, I'd give him a fist bump, a high five, anything of that like and maybe a side hug. Only lasts a second cause I don't want to become a missing persons poster ( ily Daisy don't kill me )

Mugman - He gives patient vibes, he's the chill friend I know I can go to if I need a break, he receives hand holding status ( hand holding is my favorite and the one i'm most comfortable with )

Felix - I'd maybe hold his hand if I have to, maybe a split second hug, but the only thing i'd want from this man is pats on the back or something of that variety, anymore and ill start to feel awkward Cuphead - Please for the love of stars give me space to breathe, be patient anything please, I'll get there eventually but if you rush me or get too close I'm clocking your face or running away and never speaking to you again 😭 I appreciate you wanna hug and all that but lord have mercy ask me first🙏

Bendy - Don't lay a finger on me unless it's for work purposes or platonic or comfort, it can even be romantic but anything super intimate is a yikes from me chief - I don't know bout you buddy but I follow the keep your hands to yourself rule 🤨

I’m here for the Bendy slander

#toon quest

[justlittlekatherinethings]

(this isn’t on main bc i don’t have readmores on this mobile version of tumblr. if i can edit one in i will.) cw mental health talk & some negative self talk. and religion woes. and pandemic mention. and cancer mention. wow we are filling up the cw bingo card.

not to blog on a blogging site but the jumble of emotions rn is making me go berserk. i hate being trapped here. the natural environment where i’m at is so beautiful and calming and healing but it gets usurped by the Im gonna Die In Here vibes emanating from my parents (read: mom).

she yelled at me today because my cat was having zoomies and burst open a door upstairs that caused a loud bang and woke her up. i was on a call so i didn’t see her angry texts and apparently that set her off and she stormed upstairs to blame me for the noise. when i said it was Jasper she just got frustrated and said the meanest thing she could think of, which was ofc that I need to get a real job.

i’m sorry im not fucking hireable and still under your roof like i don’t know what to do :( i keep applying for jobs and getting denied or passed over and it’s like. you don’t think that’s frustrating for me?? is it because i don’t show it (bc you taught me how to suppress emotions to keep them safe from you?!!!) like i’m. aough.

sincerely last month i could feel the kms ache creeping back (i have normal depression but in extreme duress the pre-ideation sneaks in again) due to being stressed and the insurmountable hopelessness of it all. i’ve been equal parts guilty and frustrated with myself as well as with the state of things. had a breakdown bc it’s my birthday in a few days and for the first time ever i’ve felt this Dread with it coming. it was like at this year milestone i was supposed to have been out, on my own, doing well and thriving, but like i’m just. here. i don’t want to spend it with my family i just want to curl up alone or drown you know cixhxbdkdks ugh.

those are side tangents. the interaction was so laughably funny like bc i Happened to be awake when the crash happened means I’m failing at getting a real job? like at its core I cant help but laugh bc wtf. but you know in the aftermath i’m just shaking bc it’s so evil and gets exactly at my insecurities and guilt and inherent worthlessness and then it makes me Angry for myself that someone would dare use those to hurt me like that.

it’s such a tangled mess of things. i’ve been scared of being kicked out since i was a kid and realizing i wasn’t religious, i was gay, and that i wouldn’t have any financial support necessary to live if they got tired of me (in that order). they get pissed at me for not spending time with them, but don’t want to see or hear me or think about me unless it’s on their terms. like i’m a doll. or a hermit crab. or yup a houseplant. they don’t support my art and never have (unless it’s making what they deem to be acceptable amounts of money). they don’t think any of my interests are cool or fulfilling even if they are for me. the only thing i do for them is the bare minimum of chores and mail their letters. i’m a blight to their perfect successful family and an embarrassment when people ask about me. But Also I can’t go get a normal retail job or like leave the house to do Anything (unless it’s an errand for them) because what if I get exposed while i need to take care of my Very Paranoid and undergoing cancer treatment & surgery Grandma. that would be so unfair to her :((((( So like which is it.

i just hate living in this toxic environment and want out so badly but have been failing and keep failing at getting a job since i graduated. it translates to all this self hate and frustration because i like, should have Just Done Better or majored in something useful or i dont know not been such a depressed and anxious fuck up.

I know that isn’t being fair to myself or my mental illnesses or the State Of Things and The State of Things 2: Global Pandemic. But maybe if i had less morals in their eyes I could have been rich off of bitcoin making my own tech start up and restructuring the UN from the inside-out…and not a pest animal living in their attic who creeps downstairs to get food and disappears.

I know it’s going to Suck tomorrow and I don’t want to go to sleep and/or wake up and deal with it. I have half a mind to think I’m gonna be woken up at 7 with ice water to the face like I’m a kid again and it’s Time For Church.

Closing thought thesis i guess is that i’m just frustrated and angry and scared.

[midnightmisadventures]

No words for my dream last night

I neeeed to know if he had the same one

Was with Liam the whole time.

uh?? im so confused i was doing that thing where i wrap up highschool. I was going in diff english rooms and took one exam and then had one left i didnt study for.

there was like this "crazy 10 minute sale" esq thing going on in the library where you and a friend had to find a book to do a project on.

But i was like rushing with JR to get to the clique books or pjo and stuff

i dont have any other exposition.

We were on a lot of busses. School not tour. And each time, Liam was on our bus and my goal was always to sit close to him but not too close. It felt like that was his goal too

eventually though

we were close and talking, kinda like the way we are in my current fur. Maybe not dating but the closest step under that

......somehow i found out that another girl.....karmic....or earlier karmic or otherwise was pregnant with his child

and he kept texting me like, please don't tell anyone, i know its bad, i know you hate me, i know everyone will hate me FOR you. Please keep that as my business for a sec.

And i was like yea, its okay of course i wont air you out while you figure this out. He wasnt in a relationship with her or anything

But it was weird he KEPT texting me, when we were apart like please please dont tell anyone.

And i was so confused why he was worried?? Like it wasnt something i would proudly boast if we were seeing eachother. So i remember being like should i text him back "i promise" so he gets that i really wont fuck him over. Or do i hold this piece of....collateral over his chest. ONLY cause he was making me wonder if i should be suspicious of him.

Then.....what feels like shortly after. Suddenly im also pregnant. With Liams baby of couse. And i was kinda like....fuck. Not cuase i didnt want to be with him, or i didnt want his baby. Just cause i was literally like "i rlly thought id be smart enough to avoid this prophecy, but i guess it wouldnt be a prophecy if it could be avoided" I just felt like are you kidding me? And im pretty sure it lined up with the first time of it all as well.

I just hate how that specific prophecy airs out all my business to everyone. Like ooh?? you were just a virgin, but you and Liam had sex one time and he came in you??? wow....

It leaves me with no privacy. But whatever, no one knew but him and i was figuring out when to drop the news to people in my life. And i realized it would be a looooong time from now.

I needed more alone time with Liam, i just needed to get on the same page and feel his support. Given that he had an additional pregnancy to worry about.

Which also just made me feel like fml....like of course this is happening to me.

But i had full faith and trust in him. We just hadnt gotten a long time to talk.

Once i remember catching him for a second, and we were both sitting in a group of people and he sat next to me on a couch. And it was nice to just sit next to him but i didnt even know where to begin with the things i wanted to talk with him about

I remember summing it up to him by saying "....Liam im really scared" and he looked at me like he hadnt considered i would be, like being pregnant after having sex once isnt a terrifying inconvenience.

I don't remember if he said anything in particular.

Just remember getting the vibe that he realized id prob benefit from a little more of his attention/reassurance.

#dream catcher