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#im on page fourteen (single-spaced size 12 times new roman indentations rather than breaks between paragraphs)
britneyshakespeare · 3 years
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I'm literally gonna stab my eyes out when I finish this paper and have my mentor proofread it for errors for me
#the honors committee better fucking love me for this one ive spent so many hours on research and creative writing for yall on this one#many more than i did last year#im on page fourteen (single-spaced size 12 times new roman indentations rather than breaks between paragraphs)#and i finally got to the last of eight poems i have to analyze (or rather the last two of 16)#(since like a maniac i wrote a response poem to each individual piece in the collection rather than grouping my responses and doing like 3)#what if they find my project much less interesting this year since im relying less on my creative imagination and have decided to tie it to#research and a thesis that they may or may not find less interesting?#last year i wrote 5 poems in the style of diana the antiromantic. i could talk about my own life and incorporate my own humor and depravity.#this year i go and make a thesis tied to spirituality and the power of language across human cultures and the correspondence of divinity w#blabbedy blah what if they find it boring? when im fuckin bleeding out for you?#tales from diana#this last poem is the one that's killing me the most. i have the most to say about it to tie it the the world we live in. and i feel#somewhat unqualified to be writing about such important and specific and very real issues. but still i try.#i use my own stupid little imagination to conjure up something probably inaccurate and also somehow perverted.#w my luck or at least my impostor syndrome.#i have been working on this paper every day this month (except the 2nd) for hours#and i started ahead of schedule but now i feel like im falling behind (i have till the 10th but i still have a presentation to do and also#to show my mentor the draft and probably make some edits based on her feedback)#and im really losing my sanity over this paper. im LOSING MY RELIGION#the end is in sight but as ive gotten through every poem it's just gotten more and more difficult#I HAD TO ORDER THEM BY SIMPLEST TO MOST COMPLEX TOO HUH?#last year i had 5 poems about my own stupid life i understood perfectly well. all were very manageable to explain#though i did put a lot of effort into doing it with grace and humor and style.#this year i choose to write about 8 poets from different faiths and cultures AND write response poetry#and i have to pour explanations for all 16 of these poems in my process paper as they reflect both my study and creative contemplation#I HATE MYSELF#THEY BETTER LOVE ME FOR THIS#girl i want to finish you all of the time all day and all of the night#all day and all of the night#all day!!!! and all of the night!!!!!!!!!
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