Tumgik
#im on mobile right now and i just dont know how to do it on the app
opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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#theres this feeling i get sometimes. i find it very hard to articulate. its part despair and part awe. dispair at how beautiful the world is#all those intricate little process coming together to organize the chaos. i dont kno y i feel it so deeply or y it hurts so much#because its just. no matters what horrible things r going on in the world. ur body is this miraculous collection of chemicals and reactions#mobile containers of water with a history that spirals back billions of years. and you can hear and see and experience and reflect#and when you die the world goes on spinning without you. if we as humans destroyed this planet past the part of our ability to inhabit it#it wouldnt even matter. there would be continued life past humanity. cosmically we r tiny and insignificant and we dont matter#but were beautiful and wonderful and infinity complex and knowing that leaves me in agony. because i want to kno everything right now but#mind is too small and i walk around with the disorientation of someone whos just been hit in thr face ans i cant focus enough to read#cant make the words make sense and i cant justify the time it would take to try. so i sit on my deck. in the sun. crying as i think about#how the light hit the grass in my front yard the last time i was home. how the cliffs in the backyard are ringed with red lines of iron#separated out as the water leached through the sandstone. how every avaliable surface is stained green as organisms reach upward toward#the sun. and its beautiful and i dont kno y im crying. maybe its bc i cant just throw everything aside and chase that feeling. im not#allowed to feel it. im not allowed to talk abt it in the way i want. bc im afraid no one cares as much as me in the same way. bc when i#talk abt what i study its obscure and academic and so far from what most ppl think abt that they get intimidated and dont try to understand#so i just try not to talk abt it. or maybe im just afraid. bc i have my 1st TA meeting tomorrow and i meet with my new advisor friday#and im worried and im afraid i wont b able to do this in a way that doesnt make me feel like im dying. bc i like to b busy and i like having#a strict schedule but if u throw me that knife im going to stab myself with it bc i dont kno how wield it as a tool without hurting myself#sure ill get the job done. but at what cost? whatever. ill try to b better this time. try to hold tight to the wonder. but that feels like#reaching out into forever. knowing ill never make contact. not knowing what im reaching for.#the closest approximation to the feeling i can find is that scene in the terror. where go0dsir is asking if god is there. any god. and it#doesnt matter bc he can see god in the landscape. in an environment that's so harsh and barren that its killing him slowly in the worst of#ways and its beautiful. its still beautiful to him. there is wonder here. and im wasting my time laying in a dark room crying bc i put#myself into a container so constrictive that the surface snaps and i come spilling out as an angry liquid. smearing away into nothing#unrelated
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321sluggie · 7 months
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mentions of weight loss in tags
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tezerenotameiki · 2 years
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empressgetou · 11 months
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YOU'RE MINE, I'M YOURS
boyfriend senku x reader
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hours after both of suika and y/n who went across to shore to the island where senku and the others were supposed to be. luckily for them ryusui managed to throw suika overboard who was cleaning the docks and y/n who was nearby the kid just in time for the petrification by a second.
y/n stayed behind the island to look for senku as suika went back to the ship to check up on the others and just as night the night falls ibarra and kirisame's group came checking up on the ship making the woman worried about the poor girl on her own in the ship.
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"the lab!" echoed through the island.
i recognized that voice anywhere, kohaku! senku and the others must be near. as i look up on the side of the island there they were in a gather with a few people i don't recognized, i was about to ran up to them then i saw kohaku kissing senku...
KISSING SENKU??
i was never the type to be the "im jealous" girlfriend, even before the petrification my relationship with senku is actually great than the usual couples around. that's because he never gave me a reason to over something minor. sure, i may or may not have been a little jealous over the whole marriage thing that was set up with ruri back a few months but that was in the past and now i see this? boy you better have an explanation to this too or i might cut your–
i ran fast as i could to catch up, as i can already see the mobile lab who im assuming suika managed to drive through up to the mountains. as soon as the vehicle stopped they too have stopped their tracks and managed to spot me in my place.
"y/n! you're here! you weren't petrified?" gen asked surprisingly and his eyes went to the leek head whom im not naming.
"nahh ryusui managed to throw me into the ocean just in time with suika" i laughed a little remembering a few hours ago how pissed off i was thinking he has even the audacity to throw us like we're a rock or something but im glad ryusui did managed to save us.
"kekeke somehow i had a feeling you survived that thing though i never expected you'd be here on the island" senku already on my side and had a little smirk on. oh how i wanna punch that handsome face so bad right now.
i rolled my eyes, "course i did. m'not really and idiot ya know." i smirked back.
"good job, you two!" praised senku.
we managed to get out of the villagers hair and went to the underwater cave to hide in the meantime while we prepare in infiltrating the harem and well that includes getting kohaku ready for the act.
"the ingredients are simple!"
"honey, lemon and coconut?"
"ahhh you're making a conditioner?"
"that's ten billion points for you, my dearest!" senku pointed at me as if ive won the lottery.
"you mind leaving me some for my hair?"
and then here's amaryllis having the greatest idea i never would've thought i'd come up with. but men dressing as women? specially senku? i never thought i'd see the day.
"pftt"
"yeah, yeah laugh it while you can honey. you don't know what's coming next for ya." he said while having an obvious annoyed face.
gen however pulled it off but his height was a bit much for an average girl. then there's soyuz, yeah i dont even wanna explain how he looks. and then lastly ginro, well he passed, perfection i might add.
"well that's that. obviously we know who is coming to the harem" i said as i was about to go back to the mobile lab, kohaku spoke.
"we're not done yet y/n, you're next!" and managed to pull me to her side.
"waittt! im not–"
"no buts! come on, you're a candidate yourself if i say so myself plus we could totally infiltrate the harem without a problem if both of you and me work together inside."
"ughhh nooo i don't wanna. too much workkk"
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kohaku and amaryllis managed to dress up y/n nicely and while doing so senku's eyes never left her figure and her hair specially. he realized that y/n never actually leave her hair down just like before the petrification maybe because they were always busy working back at the village it would be distracting having her long wavy hair in the way, he only saw her hair down whenever she'd take a bath by the river and whenever she would sleep beside him. amaryllis also put make up on y/n and it definitely just made her even more beautiful and vibrant much to senku's pleasure. he was falling all over again.
"looking good there", he complimented
"thanks. i thought you'd never notice", y/n sarcastically said.
"been a while since i've had make up on too. does it look weird?" she asked worriedly.
"nahh you're good. you're beautiful." he said almost whispering.
"alrightyyy y/n, you're coming with us right?", kohaku asked
"huh? but i'm not really needed there right? hehe", y/n tried to convince her friend.
before y/n and her group went to the harem selection she managed to get inside the mobile lab and talked to senku.
"so i was thinking since ya' know could be a few days or weeks before we'd succeed in the infiltration but i just wanna clarify something." fiddling her hands thinking maybe she just misunderstood what kohaku did to his boyfriend.
"yeah, got something to say before you leave me here all alone?" senku joked still doing his science work.
"i saw kohaku kissed you last night." and went silent, it made y/n think maybe she was stupid to even conclude at that idea.
"ah yeah she did"
"what! why?"
"easy tiger, that was unexpected for me as well, we have to get a distraction from the enemy. gen's fault he included me."
silence again.
"but i guess that made you uncomfortable huh?" she nodded still fiddling her fingers.
he saw this and went to holding her close.
"m'sorry if it made you feel bad, i take full responsibility of how you're feeling right now. tell you what i'll give gen an earful about that and maybe after this whole infiltration thing, we spend time more together after, hmm?" trying to apologize the woman.
"mmm, i see.."
"i understand i just want to know why it had to be done." she said faintly smiling.
"m'sorry if you understood that way. there's nothing going on. m'still yours forever and always" he tried to cheer up.
she then hugged him and he immediately reciprocated. silence engulfing them once again while enjoying the company of each other.
"i love you"
"me to honey. i love you so damn much. i'm yours. okay?" reassuring her and gently pushing his lips into her sweet candy flavored ones.
masterlist
"mmm, you're mine and i'm yours" she giggled.
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crushedsweets · 8 months
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i am so so sorry for the sheer amount of headcanons i'm making you crank out, HOWEVER... i am so curious as to if you have any headcanons for nina and natalie as a duo. i love the way you perceive them and write them it genuinely makes me so happy
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i had to doodle them . ok. lets go..
nat was one of the first people nina met from jeff, since she and jeff lived in the barn together.
nina thought nat was a lesbian when they first met . that is literally the only reason why she wasnt mad jeff was living with a woman.
although nina was like, one of the ONLY people to notice toby/nat tension and was sooo heartbroken when she realized they were never getting together..... but then was relieved they didnt get together when she got over jeff because 'well i can't be the only single one!'
again, natalie grew up with 0 girl friends, only hung out with her brother and boys. even after meeting the creeps, theyre still mostly guys. so she's just kinda really awkward and weird around girls. not in a like, 'oh girls r so annoying' way but like... she just doesnt know how to fit in. she just feels so different in the worst possible way and always has.
and nina is very girly, outgoing, touchy, friendly, cute, etc. so it was very like UMMM?!? idk. natalie kept snapping at her, assuming she was fake and weird and just trying to get something from nat, but nina was so persistent and just. friendly. it started making natalie feel warm.
nina's presence started to heal natalies inner little girl. she had it stolen from her time and time again, from her dad, her brother, her peers - the operator, too.
so the two are eventually actual friends. they'll text and play mobile phone games together. sometimes they'll just sit on call and nina will be talking her head off while nat does her own thing at home. one time nat was at tobys cabin and nina was talking about toby on speaker and toby walked in and was like 'hey nina' .... nina almost threw up she was so embarrassed.
nina loves visiting nats bar because everyone is always talking to nina and giving her attention and buying her drinks, and at first nat was irritated but it kinda got nat some better tips since the customers started realizing ninas her friend. so nat was pleased. LOL
nat was never the type to go shopping, but she'll follow nina around and sit while nina tries on clothes and carry around all her bags that she buys LOL... ninas made jokes about nat being boyfriend material and nat just flatout says smth about how nina should get over jeff cuz he would never.
nat is friends with jeff but she's oddly comfortable just telling nina that he's a piece of shit. and ninas always like NOOO U DONT GET IT U DONT SEE WHAT I DO and nats always just .. not... impressed..
nina's always inviting nat out to try new foods. nat grew up just eating bread and noodles with butter half the time so it's fun. nina always tries to pay bc 'well i invited you!!!'. sometimes toby tags along but he feels a way abt going in public places..
nina rarely visits jack cuz she has no reason to, but nat is friends with him so sometimes nina pops in and she's always like ^_^ HELLO TALL MYSTERIOUS SLIGHTLY MONSTEROUS MAN... <3... nat smacks the back of her head cuz she's being dumb and drooling over a bunch of rando freaks. ... . ok i love nina and she owes jeff nothing but she is def not loyal LOLLLL AND SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO FAWN OVER EVERYONE she's a fangirl at heart.
they watch a ton of shows together. nina got nat into horror kdrama stuff, but they have to watch in dub cuz nat cant read the subtitles fast enough . . . at first nina cringed but now she doesnt care.
nat's painted/drawn nina several times, and nina almost cries everytime. she's put the drawings up on her wall before but anytime nat's at her apartment, she takes it down bc 'i dont want my art on ur wall stop it' LOL... kinda rude but whatevs.
ugh theyre just so fucking cute guys im sorry i love them . holds them. brushes their hair.
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When you're scared of the dark
pairing(s) : eyeless jack/reader, jeff the killer/reader
reader : gn, reader is a human, reader isnt a creep, unspecified everything body-wise
cw : power outage, creeps live in a mansion, jeff is kind of an ass but he makes up for it, jack purrs bc im predictable
edit: HELP I DIDN'T REALIZE I POSTED IT WITHOUT FINISHING JEFF'S PART LMAO
Eyeless Jack
a little miffed, if he's honest
i mean- you live in a mansion of killers
despite that, the moment the power in the mansion goes out, your fear scent permeates the room
the two of you were chilling in his nest when the power kicked the bucket, leaving the two of you with no light but the crack of lightning outside jack's windows
you frozen before cuddling against him tighter, shaking lightly
he's not dumb, he knows what's going on. he just doesn't understand how this is the thing, of all things, to get to you
his tail sweeps over your tangled legs and curls around your thigh, and he held you securely to himself
a deep purr rumbles to life in his chest, his accent heavy as he mumbles comforting words into your ear
the occasional boom of thunder serves as a backdrop
he holds you until you've calmed, continuing to rub your back until he hears light snores from you
he makes a mental note to keep more candles in his room. also to get a nightlight, since he realized now why you had your own
overall he's sensitive about it. he can see in the dark but he understands why it might freak you out- especially with all the monsters around the mansion. you're only human after all
Jeff the Killer
he's goin to be a lot more of an asshole about it im ngl
at first, when the power shuts off and he hears you yelp, he laughs
he teases you a bit, but when he hears you start to sob he freaks
like,,, holy shit did he do that? fuck this is his fault he shouldn't have laughed he felt like such an asshole right now and-
he heard you shifting in the dark, trying to get up off his bed. panicking, he shot up to grab your wrist and pull you back
this doesn't really help your current issue, but at least the cool feeling of his undead body helps to ground you
"im sorry babe-- its okay, promise, nothin will getcha"
he continued to try his best to reassure but he's bad at this lol
brings you down to the common room and lights the fireplace to bring you both light and warmth (being that the heating went out too)
sits with you in front of it and plays something on his phone
probably one of those weird mobile games or some youtube video
p much anything to distract you from the current situation
overall, dont go to him if you want to be laughed at. but once he realizes that you're serious he does his best
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findingyouagain · 16 days
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help needed please
today has just been the absolute worst day and it just spiraled into one thing after the other. i havent really stopped crying or panicking but i took a long enough shower to be able to talk about it.
i know its a long post but if you could take a moment to read it & possible help or at least reblog it would hopefully take some of my stress away about the entire situation.
my car just got towed. i thought i had auto payments turned on for the account but apparently i did not which is 100% my fault and i should have kept better track of it. ever since my dads parent plus loan repayments kicked in, moneys been really tight and i think around then is when i must have turned auto pay off because the amount due for my the parent plus loan is about $620 each month and thats not much more than my monthly car payment atm.
i was able to make a payment and with my dads help hopefully get caught back up & pick up my car tomorrow from the towing company but that means i am going to be negative for any other expenses the rest of the month until i get my teacher paycheck on the 30th. i still have my car insurance i need to pay, which is roughly $300.
this was all of course after earlier in the day where my laptop suddenly decided to crash. i was teaching my 3rd block class and closed it for student presentations and when i opened it back up at lunch it wouldnt turn on. it seemed to be running—it was slightly warm and the it had a charge before i closed it, but the screen is black & the keyboard wont light up. i finally got the apple logo for .2 seconds when i got home but almost immediately it went dark again. thats an issue im obviously going to have to worry about later but as the yearbook and newspaper adviser my mac is something i use everyday for both personal and work stuff. it just made everything else feel compounded. im also now realizing i havent picked up my migraine medication from the pharmacy so now im going to have to figure out how to pick up snd pay for that before they restock it.
i know i dont have many followers on here or anything but i just really need the help right now. if you could spare even just a $1 or honestly just reblog this it would mean so much. i hate asking for money and i know ive had to do it before but hopefully this is the last time.
my paypal is https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/findingyouagain and my cashapp is https://cash.app/$findingyouagain
anything is helpful even a reblog
also sorry if there are typos or its not formatted nicely again im typing this on mobile while i try to get my computer to work again (if you have any suggestions on how to fix it, ill take those as well)
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sluttywoozi · 2 years
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Buy A Boyfriend || chs x reader
Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Summary: Being a professional boyfriend on SVTHub is great - all Vernon has to do is respond to a few texts, send out a couple selfies, do a stream every now and then, and he makes enough to cover tuition. Things get a little tricky when he finds himself wishing he actually was your boyfriend.
Rating: M (18+) | Word Count: 4kish
Content Notes: voice kink, male masturbation, swearing, he is a virtual boyfriend for money, the texts will probs look like ass on mobile, gender neutral reader, reader has cats and I borrowed @sluttywonwoo 's cats bc im their aunt and I love them (sorry if u have your own, please imagine them 😭), they dont have sex (in this part) my bad, reader is a stem major bc I live to project, I think that’s it pls let me know if I missed anything!!
Vernon’s username: bandsboyvern
Reader’s username: allthoughtsheadfull
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Vernon sighs as he opens up SVTHub, knowing he has at least three messages that ask, “Would you still love me if I was a worm?”
His answer will, of course, be “Yes and I would make you a cute little worm house in a jar and take you with me everywhere,” when he really wants to say, ”No I wouldn’t, because I don't know you at all and worms have a very short life expectancy.”
But this is the life he’s created for himself; getting paid to act like a boyfriend comes with answering cliche boyfriend questions. He’s scrolling through messages, answering good morning and goodnight texts with an appropriate selfie, when one message catches his eye, or actually, wow, 5 messages, all from one person.
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Vernon tilts his head, considering how to answer. It’s a bit weird that you sought out a pretend boyfriend to tell these things to but he can’t say the messages aren’t more entertaining than the usual ones. And, honestly, snails are effervescent.
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Vernon answers some messages from other users; badbitchesrus is having friend group drama again and he’s dying to tell her, “you’re the problem,” but a boyfriend wouldn’t say that so he just agrees, saying, “you’re so right, Jen did copy ur fit last night but u did it better baby.” He replies to a few selfies with paragraphs of fire and heart eye emojis, and sends out a couple ‘hope ur day gets better babygirl’s.
Clicking out of the app, Vernon tries to force himself to focus on studying. He’s got a music theory quiz this week and a sound design exam next week and he’s not prepared for either. His fingers tap out a rhythm on his knee as he runs over scales in his head, swearing to himself after missing the last sharp in B major for the fourth time. He’s about to pull out his keyboard for manual practice when his phone dings with a message, the tone telling him it's SVTHub. His head hits the back of his chair, hoping beyond hope it’s not another worm message, and he smiles in surprise when he sees it’s from you.
thought 5: legally blonde is peak cinema and has something for everyone so whyyyy is it universally disliked
Vernon tilts his head, realizing that even though he’d never seen Legally Blonde, he did dislike it for some reason. Huh.
His phone goes off again, another thought from you.
thought 6: why did stephanie name it twilight and then have bella meet edward in the daytime
He hasn’t seen Twilight either but, honestly, you bring up a good point. Why name it a certain time of day and then not have them meet at that time?
Happy to be distracted, Vernon settles in to ask you some questions and hopefully get some movie recommendations.
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Before Vernon can respond, he gets another message, from bbygrill99 this time. She’s requesting an ab pic, her third this week, and he wonders why she’s so obsessed with his abs when his ass is great too, but complies nonetheless. Lifting his shirt, he tenses his abdominals and tilts his phone to get the perfect angle, his bottom lip just barely in frame and his gray sweats sitting low on his hips. He’s been trying to drink more water because apparently you need it to survive, so his abs aren’t as defined as usual and he hopes she doesn’t say anything. He sends the picture out with a kiss emoji and saves it to his folder of lewds, hoping he’ll be able to reuse it.
He’s very intrigued by the idea of threats to increase productivity, and asks you more questions. This turns out to be counterproductive as it leads to a whole conversation that makes him laugh all the way through, and consequently, he doesn’t get any more work done.
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It’s almost time for his weekly goodnight stream, and Vernon’s still thinking about your last conversation. You’d lured him into a debate about living as a pigeon or living with pigeons, and he still wasn’t sure who’d won. You hadn’t sent him any new thoughts today, and even though you’d just become a subscriber last week, he’s missing you for some reason. He really enjoyed the randomness of your brain, and hearing what was going on in there throughout the day. It was a nice break from pretending to be the perfect boyfriend, and he got to respond like he wanted, not like he thought he should.
Starting the stream, he settles into bed and begins telling his patrons about his day, pausing at certain moments to let them respond to him. On their screens, it just looks like a personal facetime, and they get to pretend he’s talking to them and them alone. He tries not to frown when he realizes you haven’t joined, and hopes you will soon; you were the one person he actually wanted to say goodnight to.
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You don’t join, and Vernon goes to bed sad and confused. Why were you paying for this if you weren’t going to use your membership to the fullest? His subscribers loved the introduction of goodnight streams, some are even asking for good morning streams too. You also hadn’t asked him for any pictures yet, even though everyone was allowed three per day. Maybe you just hadn’t read the membership benefits when you joined and didn’t know? He should probably ask, right? Just to be sure you’re getting your money’s worth.
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Vernon gasps, staring down at his phone in awe.
A cat picture. You've sent him a cat picture. A picture of a cat. Your cat, presumably.
Vernon’s heart stutters, his eyebrows raising.
damn.
He sighs in disbelief before setting his jaw in determination and deciding the perfect combination and sequence of emojis to convey his true feelings.
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Vernon puts the phone down for a moment as he remembers what you’d first said about your cats. One likes you too much and one doesn’t like you at all. He wonders which is which, they're both looking at you with such love.
He’s spinning in his desk chair, zoning out a little, when his eyes hit the open sound design program on his desktop.
Fuck, he has an exam tomorrow.
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Vernon’s mouth stretches in a smile, his kicking feet sending him on a giddy spin in his chair. Putting his phone on Do Not Disturb, he forces himself to focus.
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Vernon is sitting in his Audio Mastering Techniques class when you text him. He was already struggling to focus, fingers drumming on the table and leg bouncing under it, his neighbor sending a glare over every few minutes. He tries his best not to check, but you'd promised him your first thought and he wants to see what it is!
Glancing around surreptitiously, Vernon opens SVTHub with his phone under the table. You'd never sent him an explicit message before but there's a first time for everything (Vernon hopes).
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Vernon looks up organic chemistry practice problems but sees ‘Stereospecificity in Addition Reactions’ and ‘Electrophilic Addition Reactions to Conjugated Dienes’ and immediately begins shaking his head, exiting out of the browser and texting you again.
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Vernon’s heart starts racing as he reads your text. You want to call him. You want to speak words and you want him to listen and respond and then you’ll respond to his words.
Cool.
Vernon’s sitting at his desk, spinning around as the phone rings and rain pangs against the window.
“Hey! Sorry,” you sound out of breath, “it’s monsooning and i couldn’t text and hold the umbrella and keep my laptop out of the rain at the same time.”
“It’s okay, no worries. How’d the exam go? Did you cry?” He asks, only slightly worried.
“It went well, I think! I did cry but just a little and I didn’t get it on the exam paper this time, thank goodness.”
You tell him more about the exam and he just listens, absorbing your voice and tone and cadence. He wants to record you, wishes he could listen to you all the time, your voice is so entrancing.
“Did you have your midterm yet?” You ask sweetly, sounding concerned.
This startles Vernon out of his trance and he has to ask himself if he has taken his midterm yet today, and sighs in relief when he realizes he has a few hours left to go.
“Nah, it’s not till later so i’m just studying and vibing.”
Vernon chats more with you, trying to imagine what you look like and wishing patrons had a profile picture like he does, before he realizes it’s been an hour and he should get focused. Promising to call you after his exam and wishing he could just take you with him in his pocket, he hangs up.
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Vernon does call you after his exam, and he calls you the next day too, and the next. It’s easier than ever for him to respond to messages, romantic words flowing and streams getting more and more popular. He just pretends he’s talking to you and it always works. You haven’t joined one of his streams yet but he’s holding out hope, and secretly wishing that you’d request a private videocall. You still haven’t asked for any selfies but he finds himself sending them anyway, hoping someday you’ll send one back. 
He’s getting ready for his bedtime stream when he starts thinking about your last phone call, just a few hours ago. You’d just woken up from a nap, sounding all raspy and sleepy and cute, and he tried to picture your face, cheek lined with pillow creases. He doesn’t remember what you’d talked about because he couldn’t focus on anything but your voice, soft and sweet in his ear. He pictures you, laying in bed next to him, your head on his chest or his on yours, your legs tangled up with his own. He can’t help but imagine your fingers trailing over the ridges of his abdomen, running up and down his chest, and his own fingers start to follow. 
Vernon thinks about your fingers moving lower, running along his waistband and dipping beneath. But you’re a tease, and they slip out and over the fabric of his sweats, pressing down where he’s starting to grow hard. He rubs his palm over his dick, squeezing harder the closer he gets to the head, imagining your giggle when his hips buck up. His phone goes off, startling him out of his fantasy and reminding him he has a stream to start. 
He hasn’t done one like this in a while but the tips are always insane and he really wants to buy the lego set you told him you did the other day, so he shrugs and presses the red record button on his phone. 
“Hey baby, it's so good to see you. How are you?” Vernon pauses to let his viewers answer, thinking about how you’d respond. 
“I had a busy day, midterms finished last week but I have a project due soon and I haven’t made a lot of progress on it,” he hears you scold him in his head, telling him to get a move on. 
“But I’m really tired, and i just wanna relax. Think you could help me?” Vernon asks, setting his phone down to pull off his shirt, missing the little notification popping up to say you’d joined. He smiles softly into the camera as he picks it back up, sliding on the bed to rest his head on the pillows. He pans the camera down to show his abs, running his fingers down his chest to settle at his waistband, pretending they’re yours. The tips start rolling in and he mutes his phone, the dinging sound beginning to annoy him. 
Vernon tries to find that fantasy again, the one where you’re in bed with him and touching him and talking to him, and slips his hand into his sweats, fingers wrapping around his hard cock. He sighs, pulling his dick out and rubbing his palm over the head, his hips jerking at the friction. Leaning over to dig around his bedside table for some lube, Vernon wonders what you’re doing right now. He opens the cap and dribbles some onto his length, smearing it around with his hand. It’s chilly but he just tells himself your hand is cold, and starts squeezing his cock, pulling a little when he gets to the head. A punched out moan leaves his chest, lube warming up and dick getting harder. 
It feels better than usual for some reason, but Vernon isn’t willing to think about why at the moment, and keeps jerking his cock. He’s panting a bit now, staring into the camera with half-lidded eyes and lip bitten between his teeth, feeling his abs tense with every pull. Closing his eyes so he can picture your hand moving on him, he tilts his head back into the pillow, wishing he could moan your name. 
The heat is starting to rise in his stomach, his hips bucking into the movements of his hand, and he knows he’s getting close. He really is tired so he doesn’t try to draw it out, just squeezes at the head harder and tries not to whine at the pressure. He thinks about your hands on him, god, your mouth on him, and imagines your voice telling him to cum. 
Vernon almost drops the phone on his chest with the force of his orgasm, trying to decide if he should turn the camera to show the cum shooting out of his cock and pooling in the ridges of his abs. He leaves it facing him instead, knowing his face is screwed up in pleasure and his moans are echoing throughout the room. Staring at the ceiling, Vernon tries to catch his breath and wonders why he just came so hard. He can feel his eyelids drooping, mind going hazy with sleep and oxytocin, and blows a kiss into the camera, saying goodnight. 
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You haven’t texted him in a week.
Vernon’s messaged you, selfies and thoughts and questions, but you haven't responded. He even checked your profile, just to make sure you hadn’t canceled your membership. He doesn’t know what to do; you’ve only been a subscriber for a couple months and you’ve only been gone a week, but he misses you. He misses waking up to a random philosophical question from you, or a picture of your latest A, or a video of your cats play(?) fighting. 
But Vernon also doesn’t want to bother you, or overwhelm you, so he’s cooled it down a bit. He only texted you once yesterday, and he hasn’t texted you at all today. He just wishes he knew you’re okay, that nothing bad has happened to you, that you’ll come back. He knows now that being a pretend boyfriend is no fun if you don’t have someone whose boyfriend you want to be. 
For now, he’ll just keep checking his phone and hoping to see a message from you. 
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Vernon's knee bounces, jaw clenching as he listens to the phone ring, waiting for you to pick up. He can't wait to hear your voice, it hasn't even been two weeks but that's more than long enough for him. You just soothe him, quiet his brain and still his hands. He's not sure if it's how gently you speak, or how your voice feels like a soft, warm blanket right out of the dryer, or how your words slide over him like silk, but he's missed you and as soon as you pick up and say hello, it's like his entire body relaxes.
He chats with you a bit, catching up on your classes and telling you about the work he's done for his project (little to none), letting you scold him for having done no work on his project and enjoying it.
The conversation draws to a natural conclusion, both of you having exhausted every possible topic in an effort to avoid the reason for the call. Vernon takes a deep breath and tries to steel himself; he's never been good with uncomfortable situations or feelings talk but he's willing to try, for you.
"So, you thought this was like a... pen pal situation? Didn't you have to put in your ID to prove you're over 18?"
"Well, yes, but I thought it was just so we could talk about adult topics, not because it's porn!"
Vernon blanches, he hadn't really thought about the fact that he was basically a porn star and he's not sure how he feels about it. He's not ashamed, sex is normal and human and he needs to make money somehow, but he does wonder how much longer he'll want to keep doing this. It's not easy to act like a boyfriend to so many people at once when he knows there's only one person he wants. And he does know it now, he wants you.
"Does it make you uncomfortable? That I do this?" Vernon worries, knowing he doesn't want to stop but also knowing he doesn't want to lose you.
"No, I mean, a job is a job and you get to make your own schedule and devote all your focus to school. It seems like a great gig, and you're good at it obviously..." You trail off, sounding sad for some reason. He hasn't heard you like this before, your voice a bit thready and foggy, like you're suppressing tears.
"What's wrong?" Vernon asks urgently, becoming more and more concerned with every sniffle that escapes you.
You stay silent for a while, Vernon tries to be patient but he can hear your breath catching, and he's about to start crying too just so you don't cry alone. He breathes out your name, hoping you'll respond.
"Ugh, I just-" you stop yourself, sounding... embarrassed?
"I..." you take what sounds like a very deep breath, and Vernon feels like he's at the edge of a cliff, just waiting to jump.
"I like you! I like when you call me babe and flirt with me and call me and I liked the face you made when you came and I liked how you sounded and then I wanted to make you sound like that! But this is your literal job, acting like a boyfriend, and I didn't know that so I let myself have a crush on you not knowing that it was all fake!"
It takes Vernon a second to process what you said, you'd said it all in one breath and spoken so fast, your voice shaking with the cutest mix of nerves and annoyance.
"Nononononononono!!! It wasn't fake! It was fake with everyone else but never with you," Vernon spits out in a rush, desperate to make you understand. He's pacing in his room now, phone pressed to his ear, arms crossed and fingers taptaptapping at his elbow. He wonders what he can say to make you believe him, to make sure you know that you've always been different, been special, to him.
"I look forward to your thoughts every day. Whenever you text me, I literally kick my feet like a little kid. Every time I streamed - they're not all like that, by the way - I couldn't stop checking to see if you'd joined. Patrons can only ask for three selfies a day, I send you like five, unprompted-" he could go on, but you interrupt him with a call of his name. He's not sure he's heard it on your lips before, but it does something to him. Something that's very inconvenient for him to deal with now, during this very emotional conversation. He's tempted to send you a picture, maybe that will convince you.
"Vernon," you call again, bringing his focus back to your voice and away from what your voice was doing to him.
"So, what are you saying?" you continue, starting to sound a bit less sad and a bit more like yourself.
"I'm saying I want to be your actual boyfriend, and not for money, so you'll have to cancel your membership, sorry."
There's silence for a few beats; Vernon feels himself teetering on the cliff again as he waits for your response.
"I mean- is that... allowed?" You seem unsure, sounding slightly hopeful but a bit apprehensive still. He wishes he could see your face, wishes he knew what you look like at all (knowing would definitely help at nighttime or in the shower or when he wakes up for ... reasons). He shakes his head to bring himself back to the conversation before you notice that his mind had wandered.
"Yea, I mean, my friend does cam shows with his partner and another friend of mine found out his roommate was watching his shows and now they fuck everyday! That could be us!" Vernon tries to reassure you, hoping you're willing to at least try.
"Ummmmm I don't know about that just yet but we could try... dating, I guess? It may be difficult just online but I like you and you say you like me so, why not?"
Vernon thinks that if he jumped out of his window right now, he just might fly. He won't because he's not trying to die now that you're letting him be your boyfriend, but the feeling is there.
"Yes! I do like you, I like you a lot. I like you so much. Please date me." He knows he's practically begging at this point, but he doesn't care. Vernon's willing to beg, on his knees if he needs to, if it means he can be your boyfriend for real.
"Okay! Okay," you giggle, a bit muffled as if you're covering your mouth. "I'll date you if you date me?"
Vernon can't contain his grin, spinning in circles around his room even though he's already dizzy.
"Deal."
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Vernon squints, sitting in his 9 am and staring down at the purple pen in his hand, the one he’d found sitting on the desk when he came in.
There’s no way though, right?
Right?
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Vernon tries not to freak out as he looks under the desk to find a water bottle. One with your name on it.
Vernon has a choice to make. He could sit here, try to focus on class, while he thinks about you somewhere on campus, struggling through an exam and dehydrated and sad. Or …
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Not on my watch, Vernon thinks, shooting up from the desk and grabbing his stuff and yours. He’s jogging across campus before he knows it, dodging frisbees and dogs on the green, weaving through hammocks and hopping over sleeping students. He’s not sure what lecture hall you’re in but he knows the chemistry building, and if he books it, he’s sure he can make it.
He’s speedwalking down the hall, peeking in windows and listening at doors, trying to find your class. His eyes catch a paper taped to a door, warning, “EXAM AT 915. DO NOT DISTURB.”
He could jump in glee but, glancing at his phone and seeing that it’s 9:10, he knows he doesn’t have time.
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Vernon’s hoping, praying you’ll listen to him when the door opens a smidge, and the most beautiful face he’s ever seen peeks through. It's like heaven’s light is shining down on him, he thinks he can hear angels, and is that wind? Blowing through his hair?
Staring back at him, your eyes shoot open in disbelief, before landing on your pen and water bottle in his hands. You squeal, bouncing in your shoes and throwing your arms around his neck. He breathes you in, reeling at the weight of your body against his, and you pull back before he can return your embrace. Vernon misses you instantly but he knows you have to go be a genius so, handing you the water and pen, he accepts a kiss on the cheek and watches you leave.
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Hiiii!! Would love to know your thoughts, whether they come in a like, reblog, comment, or ask! Please feel free to come talk to me i will cry and smile all day!! Planning a pt 2 for this but i'm hoping to get pt 2 of like a cowboy out first!
Part 2
And check out the rest of SVTHub! A good few fics are out and you’ll still have something to look forward to as more will be posted over the next few weeks ☺️
I am so grateful to @sapphichui for trusting me with this and I’ve had such a great time collaborating with and getting to know other awesome authors on here!
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jvblood · 2 years
Text
high chronicles
pairing: argyle x afab reader
word count: 2.3k
summary: After crushing on Argyle for a while, you thought of a way to finally get to know him better. Even better than you originally planned.
WARNINGS: SMUT (18+, minors dni), mentions of weed/weed usuage, high sex
a/n: it's one am, im expecting no one to read this because i wrote this with a fresh c0vid vaccine in my left arm and it is killing me. also i didnt proofread so dont kill me.
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The pizza shop today was slow as the day kept on getting longer and longer. It was you and a couple other teens working the shop as well. Argyle was aimlessly watching you clean the counters off. It felt weird to be under the watch of Argyle, he was technically your boss. His father owns the complex and the van, so he takes that mobile anywhere he pleases. Hoping to not look like a complete dimwit, you quickly finished up your task. You’ve had the hugest crush on Argyle for a while now and honestly others would look at you as if you grew a third head if you said it out loud. 
He was funny, a bit goofy, knew how to have a good time and was a diligent worker. Argyle smoked most of the time at work but today he didn’t. You could usually smell the pot ooze off of him but weirdly enough, today, he smelt normal. You didn’t mean to get a whiff, he was walking past you; how could you not get a sniff? You cringe at the thought of being so weird but really he smelt nice. 
Personally for you, it was hard to strike up a conversation with him and you really just want to know more about him. So what do you do? 
“Hey Argyle, you got anything on you?”
______________
Cough after cough, eyes watering, and lungs burning; you feel your mouth get dry and eyelids heavy. It was past 10 now and the shop was closed. You don’t really plan on getting home any time soon and just want to get to know Argyle more. Your head was heavy and landed it right in Argyle's lap as he slouched on the seat in the back of the van. Argyle drove you two somewhere secluded where no one was going to catch you smoking. You were peacefully thinking about sleeping. That’s until a question popped into Argyle’s head.
“So like, what’s your deal dude?” He slurs as a smoke leaves his mouth. You tried to look up at him but your eyelids were making it very hard to open, so you tried to move your head better to look at him. His eyes looking down, meeting yours. A simple ‘hmm?’ is all you can say.
“I mean like– you don’t seem like a smoker, so why are you doing it today?” Argyle says while looking up at the roof of the van. Wide eyed and embarrassed, you just leave your mouth open trying to find something to say.
“It’s okay! I’m not one to judge but something feels fishy, and let me tell you fish and pot does not go good together; ask Johnathan, he knows what I’m talking ‘bout.” He says flailing his hands around. All the while, you had the widest grin and it could not leave your face as he slowly stated the weird encounter of pot and fish. 
“Do you want me to be truthful?” You ask up looking at him once again. Yet again, his eyes wander down to you on his lap and he gulps, nodding. You lay on your side, head facing towards him and curl up. 
“I actually really like you, Argyle. I have for a while and I thought, you know, I could like, get to know you better if we, you know.” You rambled out, a bit too quickly for Argyle’s brain. It was like your brain worked faster while Argyle’s slowed down even more. He couldn’t comprehend what you said because you kept on talking. At this point you’re talking about ‘how it’s okay if you don’t like me back, because let’s be real, who would like me back?’ and then a quick laugh that he would replay in his head five times over because it was his favorite sound at the moment. At this point you're on your knees while he was still slouched, to you it looked like he was out of it, yet something in your drugged mind kept on talking. 
Then silence. You looked to see in front of you that Argyle was in fact kissing you. All you could feel was him. He slowly moves back to catch his breath. It was so tense in the van that you were still as a pole. 
“I’m sorry, man, you just kept on going and I need you to, like, stop talking.” He huffs and pushes his hair behind his ear. You look at your palms, trying your best to understand the situation. “I really like you too,” he groans, leaving you bewildered. “ It's just, I didn’t want to confess while tripping, man. I was actually, like, planning things out today! But when you asked, it was like my head went mush and I forgot the plan because it meant I got to be in the van with you.” 
“High.”
“Hello?”
“No, I meant that you got to be with me in the van, high.” You try correcting again. You bit the inside of your cheek thinking of something to say but that was until Argyle beat you to it. 
“Can I kiss you?” His eyes are looking at one place only and it’s your lips. You nod, looking him in the eyes and biting your lip. His eyes meet yours before you both close them to meet in the middle. This kiss was obviously different from the first one. It felt as if time went slowly as you guys kept on kissing. You felt a rush of confidence and straddled him. He whimpers underneath you as you place your hand on his chest. His arms are limp to his side so you take the initiative yet again and move his arms on your waist. 
You could feel yourself get needier for him as you began grinding on him slowly, leaving him a mess underneath you. You could feel him getting stiff underneath you and want to feel more of it.
“Is it okay if I go down on you?” He whispers in your ear. You lazily nod as he moves forward, leaving you on the floor of the van while he’s over top of you. He begins kissing your jaw and could feel yourself getting wet. He began nipping at your jaw as he got lower. Licking up and down, kissing here and there. Not really paying attention if he was going to leave a mark. He stopped in front of your breasts, looking at them and then you. 
“You can touch them.” You whispered. He nods and watches as you begin to take off your shirt, leaving you in your bra for him. He moans at the sight of you bashfully looking away on the floor in your bra. He leans down and kisses on your collar bone, going lower and lower, meeting at the peak of your breasts. “Is it okay if I take this off?” He says playing with the strap of your bra. 
A simple yes leaves your mouth as he tries to take off your bra. In the back of your mind, you think it’s cute he’s struggling but right now you’re clouded in lust and waiting is killing you right now. You make it easy for him and take it off for him and he swears his mouth watered. He attaches himself to your breast and begins kissing your nipple and taking it in his mouth. You gasp at the feeling of him licking you. You arch your back and begin to whimper under his touch. 
“Is it okay if I…” His eyes wander down as he trails on with his words trying to find something to say. “God, please.” You moan out, quickly unbuttoning your pants and kicking them off somewhere in the van. He slowly rubs your clit, gingerly going down to meet the wetness that he caused. “Fuck.” he whispers, feeling you drip onto his fingers. He couldn’t take it anymore. 
He moved you so he could lie down and began eating you out. Your back now on the back doors of the van, cold, while the rest  of your body was hot. He was kitten licking, but his hair was getting in the way. You gladly took his hair and put it into a makeshift ponytail, allowing him to look up at you. The sight was sinful. Argyle’s mouth is attached to your pussy while you hold his hair back making it easier for him to get more access. 
“Oh god, right there.” You said as he began sucking your clit. The van was getting even hotter allowing sweat to drip down your neck. He inserted a finger while still sucking your clit and it’s as if your body was overloading. You needed a release, badly. The sound of your wet cunt filled the van as he kept on eating you out.
“Does that feel good, when I play with you like this?” He says in a different tone than you’re used to. You whine out missing the feeling of him and hear him take off his belt. 
“Argyle, please I need you.” You moan out from him. You reach down to play with your cunt in front of him, wanting to show him you can take it. Rubbing your nipple with your other hand and sliding down back to the floor of the van. Argyle swiftly takes his pants and underwear off. He takes his cock and rubs it to your entrance, feeling the wetness drip.
“Wait, do you have a condom?” You say as hold onto his wrist. Watching in real time of his mind clicking was a bit funny. His face went from lustful and hungry to lost and dreamy to realization and content. He shimmied to the front of the van and grabbed a condom in the glove compartment. He looked goofy considering his whole ass was just out and you took a peek at the cheeks. You giggled to yourself as he came back. 
“What?” He laughed out, quickly wrapping the rubber around his length. You sigh, smiling meeting his eyes. “Just got to see the bun factory.” You say as you reach for his face and slowly slide it up to move a piece of his hair out of the way. Considering how close you guys are, you could see his face get a bit red. He smiles looking down at you, his hair in the way. He’s considering a haircut at this point but you have a different idea. 
“Let me ride you,” you say as he flips his hair back once more “ please?” It was more of a beg than a request. 
“Of course, babe.” He says. His next move is him lying on the floor while you straddle him again. 
You first just sit with his dick between your cheeks, kissing him again, wanting to remember the feeling. Then, you get up and begin slowly sinking down on his cock to accommodate for his size. You both moan at the feeling when it first went inside and began to cherish the feeling of it fully in. It was a bit of a struggle fully getting him in with how big he was but you managed to get all the way down, balls deep. Slowly, you got back up again and sank down again. His hands were on your ass gripping and guiding you up and down on his length. He gives a little spank and you yelp at the feeling. 
“Is that–fuck–is that good?” You say whining in pleasure. Argyle grunts at the sight of you, bouncing on his cock, watching your tits move in sync. You grab his neck and allow a little grip. “I said, is that good?” This new found dominance shocks Argyle yet he found it so hot. “Fuck, yeah— god it feels great.” He says as he closes his eyes. 
You were close and he could feel it too, with the way your walls were tightening around him, he was about to release soon. The van was shaking and the sound of rickety car parts filled the area as you kept on bouncing on him. 
“Fuck, babe, I’m gonna—” He finally releases his seed. He ruts his hips forward trying to milk out any left and soon is finished. You on the other hand were just about there. Yet you didn’t get your orgasm. Unfulfilled, you sighed, getting him out of you. That was until Argyle pulled you up to his face, so your cunt was near his mouth. 
“Ride my face, please, I want you to cum on my face.” He says while hooking his arms around your legs. You accepted fate and lowered yourself and shuddered to the feeling of him on your cunt again. This time ready to cum. You rock back and forth on his face, feeling your juices go everywhere around his mouth and toss your head back. You took a fistful of his hair and felt yourself back on track again. This time you had no intention to stop and allowed him to lap up your juices as it dripped down. He harshly was sucking on your clit and this caused your body to shake. You shrieked out in pleasure as you came, shaking and breathing so hard. You remove yourself from his face and see you ruined his hair. 
“Oh god, could we just lay here please.” He says while he shuts his eyes. 
“I’m so sorry! You say, wiping off your mess as much as possible. 
“Don’t sweat, dude. It’s hot,” he says while taking off the condom.'' This on the other hand is not.” He opens the van door on the side and tosses it out. 
_______________
You guys exited the van, trying to air out the sex and pot, and put on your respectful clothes. He managed to put his pants on quickly , he sat at the back of the van with the back doors open watching you put everything on. 
“Hey, so does that mean we’re like boyfriend and girlfriend now?” He asks.
“Do you want to date me?” You question. 
“Of course, I do.” He says take your hand. 
“Then yes, we are boyfriend and girlfriend.”
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AITA for being upset at my mom?
🎵🎵 (to find it)
I know it's not a real big deal, but it's starting to get upsetting. English is not my first language and im on mobile sl sorry about that.
Okay, so my(20f) mother (F mid40s) suffer from long covid. Her symptoms consist of chronic fatigue, short breath, join pain and brain fog. (I still live home because im a college student, and finding an appartment in this market is hell)
We've been really supportive of her :
I drive most of the time, and my sister(16f) has her apprentice driver license, so she drives for mom when im at school; when we go to the mall and she need to take a break to breath, i always offer to go get her a wheelchair, or going to get the car, she sleeps a lot in the day so we don't make noise, i bought her loops earplug for sleeping, etc.
We're are used to it and my dad (mid40s too) work 12 hours a day to compensate for the money we're losing with mom on sickleave (where we live we have job insurance and etc): he starts at 5:30am to 6pm, and i usually only see him in the evening, so the only time we really are together as a family is during the evening meal.
There is where i could be the a-hole:
Since mom got long covid, it takes more time for her to respons us, and her memory isnt as good as it was (shes well known in her workplace, she a well respected manager who takes great care of her employees). It's just, almost every night, when me or my sister or even my dad are telling a something that happened in our day, she always cut us to say something, like :don't forget to put this in that, or just to say something she did that day over our own story, or asking me to bring her water in the middle of my sister's sentences (which she could have waited for after she was done).
So we, someone different each time, always tell her "X was speaking, you just cut them, and you do this often, please let them finish" and, well, when it happens everytime i am (or my sister) is trying to say something, it get upsetting. And she always uses the same reasons: "we're a family and we're cohabiting, sometime we talk over you but still listen to you" (no she doesn’t, i have to tell her a million times the same fucking thing and she always forget) or "you know my mind is a little slow right now, i'll forget if i don't say it" or she gets upset because we're annoyed by it.
But god forbid if you cut her! She'll raise her tone, and still doesn't get why we're upset.
Like, i get it, she got long covid and it's a bitch to deal with the way your cognitive capabilities slow down with the fatigue, but we've been extremely helpful (and im still gonna be, because she's my mother) and her allowing herself to lack respect towards us doesn't excuse her because she's ill. At least this is how i see it?
At this point i dont really know if i can feel upset? Like, she's my mom, and she's ill (and it's really depressing seeing her this put down by the symptoms i don't wish it to anyone) but im just so tired to have to restart the same sentence four or five time because she keep interrupting me
So, aita?
What are these acronyms?
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sunnnfish · 1 year
Text
Due to the mental anguish I am rambling about tbhk. I WAS going to put this under a readmore but that keeps breaking the post on mobile so. Im sorry. Tons of spoilers for chapter 99. And like the whole series. You know how it is.
I feel like I need to make an itemized list because there’s so fucking much I need to talk about right now
The violence and parallels to tsukasa. I mean who can forget tsukasa prying mitsubas mouth open to feed him number 3s heart. Who knows what tsukasa’s intentions were but they weren’t necessarily bad— as we know now mitsuba needs to eat to survive plus number 3 was like a pretty big power boost that would keep him together for a longer time. So he likely just wanted mitsuba to live comfortably. BUT ALSO there’s the beginning of the chapter where tsukasa tells mitsuba to dig the heart out himself vs kou who gets it for him. Anyways. With kou here it clearly came from a similar place of wanting mitsuba to not disappear. There’s a desperation to it and fear and it’s one I personally actually know quite well. I’ve dealt with friends refusing to eat and take care of themselves and it is a violent frustrating feeling that just ends with crying after the anger fades. There’s a lot of confusion like. Why do you not care about yourself as much as I care about you. Anyways. His actions make a lot of sense to me bc I have felt and done the exact same things.
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Me core ^
and THEN there’s mitsubas feelings of wanting to be fucking exorcised and going to the fucking minamoto household to do it there’s so much here hang on. Like. I think he went to the minamoto house for some sliver of hope. If he wanted to for sure disappear he probably could’ve waited it out or something better but he went to the place where, depending on who answered the door, he’d either die or be faced with fucking. Kou minamoto. And the fact the he chose to reveal himself to kou it’s like. Did you really want to disappear. Did you really. And then taking him out on a fucking date basically like. You don’t want to disappear do you. You just don’t want to be. This. He wants to be human. He wants someone who will understand him and. And. Kou so readily accepts and understands him. Even the parts he thinks are ugly or unworthy. Fuck.
AND THEN. Kous feeling of inadequacy and fearing that mitsuba trusts tsukasa more than him and connecting to the vision he saw in the red house. Whether he accepts it or not he wants mitsuba to need him. The red house showed him a mitsuba who told him that he needs kou that he wants kou to be a supernatural with him and he brushes it away knowing mitsuba would never say that to him. He tells himself that mitsuba would never trust him or want him like that but he wants it to be real and he’s still hurt when the real mitsuba won’t open up to him. And it all comes back to his overall self worth issues of wanting to be strong and dependable and worthy.
AND this is all under the context of Teru finally letting kou have some responsibility and telling him to go exorcise the low level spirit that came near their home and AaaaaAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUU. KOU MINAMOTO……..
God its just. Kou minamoto cares about mitsuba so so so much and neither of them completely understand the gravity of it all. Also at this point hes said like 3 times that mitsuba is the root of all his worries. ALSO dont even get me started on the art and expressions this chapter. It’s so gorgeous like as always but. God. Also the keychains. Im gonna[blaring truck horn]
ALSO the way mitsuba says at the end like ‘you’d be lonely without me’ or whatever and kou almost looks shocked for a second like. Oh. And its like he thinks about it more and cries more because yeah, he would be lonely. He’s been lonely. Mitsuba somehow inexplicably became like his closest friend that knows everything about him and god he was lonely when mitsuba disappeared. The first time and the second. And he’s barely had time to process any of it because to everyone else around him mitsuba doesnt really. Matter. And because kou is so kind he is always putting everyone else’s problems in front of his own. The severance happens and it becomes a journey to help nene bring hanako and aoi back—next to no mention mitsuba aside from the leads to the red house, much less trying to find and save him too. The whole time theyre in the boundary to the far shore its all about hanako and nene and number 6. And there’s STILL the conversation about how to become a supernatural that he brought up with nene but noooooo we cant ever know anything about what kou wants. And like. It all comes back around this chapter because he so so selfishly wants mitsuba to live. One of the only things he lets himself want. And it aches. God. I wish i was any good or natural at prose writing because god the things i would write about minamoto kou. AND TO TOP IT OFF HES LIKE FUCKING 14 YEARS OLD…. Okay. Okay im done.
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jovenshires · 4 months
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You’ve probably been asked this before but what’s like your fanfic writing process?? Like how do you end up writing your fanfictions?
i actually haven't but i'd be happy to talk about it!! i'm actually writing fic right now, so here's what i've done in the past like. hour. im gonna put it under the cut bc its EXTREMELY long but if you ever wanted 'katie's guide to fic writing,' here it is!
i'm pretty easily distracted, so i've gotta make sure i'm in like. The Right Conditions. that means phone face down or away if i can (rn i've got to be on call in case my boss needs smth but you get the gist) bc i WILL just open tiktok or play a mobile game. even just now writing this answer i have picked up my phone and opened pinterest. i cannot be stopped so i try to stay off it and put it down when i catch myself!!
more and more often i cant even listen to music while i write - partly bc i tend to read my work aloud to myself to make sure it sounds right and partly bc my brain will be like "you know this song omg the words are in your brain" or "you should go look at what song this is bc you kinda like it". cannot trust myself even with sound. if i AM listening to music while i write, it's either the specific playlist for that fic, playlists with the right vibes (ex: rivals-to-lovers for iwks), OR anime openings bc. less likely to get distracted when it's not in english tbh.
(huge on all of the senses so i also usually have a candle lit. im super sensitive to smells so if there's an unpleasant smell somewhere around me i will be unable to focus <3)
all that being said about distractions, i think it's important to take breaks - dont just FORCE yourself to write. that's why i'm huge on setting goals for myself - deadlines, word count goals, timed breaks. like "okay im gonna sprint write for 10 minutes and then after that ill watch some of this danny gonzalez video" or "i'll write until 3:30 and then i should go take a break and read a book." im not always faithful to my goals but i try my best!!
as for the actual writing itself, i typically just go for it. i can usually see an image in my mind and i try my best to write that out/describe it as best i can. and then if it sounds wrong i just reword it again and again until i've got it. this is kind of where my reading aloud bit comes in - if it sounds right when you say it out loud, that generally means it sounds right in the text.
sometimes i'll just have a certain scene or just scraps of dialogue and i'll write that out and be like "okay how did they get here." i never embraced writing out of order until recently, but now that i have. no going back tbh i highly recommend it. rwylm and iwks especially had scenes WAY later down the line that i wrote first. just write what comes naturally and go from there.
occasionally i do outlines, but not super often, and when i do they're vague as hell. i think a lot of my iwks outline was just "game" and then "another game but tommy is there this time." i think outlines that go too in-depth kind of take away from the freedom of writing so. if it's for you then slay but its usually not for me
i try not to worry too hard about. the style/grammar/little things as i go. of course im guilty of this and i'll stop and edit my own works along the way sometimes but i've found it's best if you keep writing and then go back later!!
sometimes when i'm writing a new smosh cast member i'll go back and watch videos/compilations of them just to reorient my brain. i've done this a lot with chanse recently!! but i also think. it really isn't that deep too NSDKFNKNK like these are fictionalized versions of fictionalized selves and so on and so forth so don't worry about 'voice' too much im trying to kick that habit myself
EDIT: oh i've talked about this before but. as for ideas/where my fic ideas come from?? i truly try to grab from my every day life. oh i went to the grocery store today? what if smosh member a and smosh member b went to the grocery store. i watched a horror movie and you know who else could do that. otherwise i pull from music/movies/tv shows/other media and be like 'this but for smosh.' i really just be pulling from my life and repackaging it thats all. start small (haircut fic) and work your way up (homoerotic soccer epic)!
and i think that's it?? i'd like to think im pretty chill about the whole thing. (read: i am not chill in any way at all but im trying my best.) anyway, it's something i'm always happy to talk about - thank you for asking!!
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cpunkwitch · 24 days
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Hey, chronic pain anon back again to ask some questions
My first question is to ask if you have any advice for how to handle or deal with the pain, I mean usually I just ignore it, but i dont know if that's really a good thing
I also wanted to ask if you knew of any mobility devices that might help with taking weight off my hips and spine? If that makes sense in a way?? I was thinking of getting some when possible as I noticed whenever I stand still I get a lot of pain / pressure in my hips and spine, like they're crumbling under my weight or something — idk if that makes sense, im like half asleep right now
Okay, uh, thanks :3 you're really cool and even if you can't answer these questions I don't mind ^_^
- chronic pain anon
Hey hun
DO NOT IGNORE PAIN /lh
Pain is your body sending your brain a signal something is wrong, listen to your body or it will get worse
Depending on the type and level of pain there are multiple ways to handle it
My methods are hot compress, soaks in baths or showers if I can manage one or the other, anti-inflammatory meds like ibuprofen or even Tylenol or advil (I can only take liquid or chewable meds but if you can swallow pills and know what meds you can take please do)
Compression socks, gloves, support shoes, braces, especially a back brace can help relieve and lessen pain by the end of the day
Sleeping with an extra pillow under your tailbone and/or between your legs depending on your sleeping position can help as well, preferably small pillows if you have one but whatever works
As for mobility aids
I'm looking into the same thing and the reason I was looking into using my moms walker before was because walkers and rollators have better weight support than a walking stick or cane, definitely better if you want to avoid the wrist and upper body pain leaning on a walking stick can give you at least from my experience
Best ones I know of should be within your height range, and can include a seat though the foldable ones are likely to have less weight support and there can be weight limits for aids so best to look at the weight limit on one before getting it
A walker or rollator feels like a middle between a cane and a wheelchair to me so I'd say it's good for spine and hip issues as I deal with the same
Actually last night because my mom wouldn't let me user her walker on my coffee run I ended up being hunched over with a lot of lacking mobility due to the extra pain I was in by the end of the day, the walker would have helped a lot and even helped me pase myself better walking uphill so I wouldn't have fallen into my habit of speed walking (or marching, Sea cadets will drill marching into your muscle memory)
So yeah tldr?
Anything that takes down swelling and inflammation in your muscles, joints and tissue in general wherever the pain tends to be can help a lot, even pain creams can help some
Small stretches can help too so your joints don't become stiff overtime just be careful not to strain or stretch too far or anything, light stretches can help get your body out of bed
And a walker or a rollator could be good for a mobility aid to look into
Hope this helps!!
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remylong · 6 months
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hcs for what the px11 characters look like? if you don't mind
is this the same anon as last time?? im not mad im just confused there are like five of us in this fandom (excluding mr and mx gaymurdermusical ofc) if i have to do the teacher thing where i make people stand until their name is called i will.
okay. so. i actually made sims of the px11 characters once upon a time but I can't show them to you until November because I banned myself from the sims until my exams are over lol
SO. i don't really have solid solid headcanons but im going to try and fight the tumblr web mobile on this let's go.
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REMY this is like The remy fit in my head literally look at it the collar the tie everything 😭😭 i need to put this woman in qing dynasty clothes expeditiously... also in my head when i was writing the remy fic she was coded like neon blue like squip bmc blue? because i was desperately trying to dragoncode her and didn't know how. when i read that line in superhero debut about [ditch that blue] i was personally attacked. before that i think she was q y2k pink in my head? i remember like the very very first edit i made of her was pink
JAY i will be honest w you i don't actually know that much about alt fashion so im worried im misrepresenting her but for everything on fire i would have looked at maybe 70s early punk aesthetics? like black and red! leather jackets! spikes! truly incredible hair that takes like seven hours and an ozone-destroying amount of hairspray to accomplish!
side note a bunch of americans with suitcases just got on the bus WHY are you here
MARK the canon description says it better than i ever could. i don't have it on me right now but come on. Most Outfit Of All Time. for everything on fire... well... Woe. Hippie Be Upon You. beads and fringes and patchwork jeans made of stolen clothes you name it he has it. i think 70s mark would have an outfit so insane he doesn't even need to kill people the tie dye would do the killing for him. also i think he would have a mullet
DAISY colour! colour! colour!! lots of pastels, lots of crochet, lots of knit vests. i would say that in everything on fire she's super mod like go go boots and flares and short skirts and all... omg you know those 70s cartoon daisy buckles 🥺🥺... in canon i think she's a 2016 kidcore niche meme arthoe who wears like overalls and butterfly hair clips
sorry this is like mostly fashion i dont really have like more detailed headcanons other than the official art X_X
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keo-k · 2 months
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sometimes i think i wasnt an injury-prone child and then i realise im gaslighting myself
tw: fair descriptions of injury?? if you dont like blood uhh dont read <3 this is just me reminiscing on being a child who thinks they cannot feel. pain. sorry if its incoherent im very sick and life feels like a fever dream and i did not sleep last night! this is so diary-entry-core TLDR i had a lot of random injuries and a few medical mysteries.
i keep looking at the middle of my chest like "man where the fuck did i get this scar from" and then i remember this one childhood day where i was filled with hubris and slid down a chain in a playground and my skin tore from under my shirt and i started bleeding terribly ill also occasionally look at the permanent callouses on my hands and remember running down a hill at full speed, followed by rolling down a hill at full speed, crashing into rocky concrete, looking down at my hands and being utterly terrified because they're entirely covered in blood???? its all red??????? also spinning on the biggest rock in the rock garden in front of my house after a friend's birthday party blowing bubbles when i lose my footing and land chin-first into the sharpest rock there, getting blood all over my favourite party dress and having to go to the ER for 6 hours and getting, not stitches, but glue. yeowie. i scratched most of the scar off somehow, just tearing the skin off my face because i didnt like the texture. its still kind of there if you look at the right angle. being in gymnastics class, doing beat swings on the high bars, thinking "whey my hands hurt im gonna drop and get some chalk (for some reason. its not like i was slipping i was just yeowch)", dropping down, looking at my hands and LO AND BEHOLD three inches of the skin beneath my ring finger on both hands is sticking up stupid vertical ! i couldnt use my hands too good for the next two weeks, also the skin sticking up WAS NOT DEAD so i couldnt trim it without feeling excruciating pain. like cutting your ear off :( not really a "when i was younger" thing, still valid now, but i have hyper mobility so im stupid flexible. especially in my ankles! like i cant do sports without wearing ankle braces on both legs. even that cannot save me sometimes, i still die. anyway my mum thought i was a piece of shit and was faking my ankle injuries bc the limping would last like. a whole month wowie! then we realised i just have bad joint. also i can hit the splits anywhere without stretching, i can walk on the literal sides of my ankles (not like. the sides of my feet no no no. go even further beyond.), i can fold my fingers backwards into silly lookin curls without any pain and keep them there no issue, and i have gotten many MANY greenstick fractures even after my bones developed a lot because my bones soft and refuse to break like a normal persons. like my basketball coach will bend my leg back to test how far it goes and i wont feel any pain and he'll say like. "oh thats waaaay too far back to be safe." and ill laugh because it can go WAY further back! and i hate it !
BONUS: ME BEING A MEDICAL MYSTERY WOOOOO up to age 8 i would have these ... seizures? all throughout the night. i would shake super aggressively and it wouldnt wake me up. my mum filmed it one night when she finally caught it on video (she would stay up HOURS ON END trying to catch it. wild). the shaking would start like a twitching at my fingers and would travel to my hand, to my arm, to the rest of my body and youd think i got fucking electrocuted. anyway she showed it to doctors and they brought me in immediately to scan my brain for fuck knows what and they didnt. find anything? like my brain activity was completely normal. they didnt let me out of hopital for a week cus theyre like "THIS ISNT NORMAL SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THIS KID" but. womp womp. we never found out. i dont shake anymore but i do shmove a lot. like, a lot a lot. and im always tired and im capable of falling asleep standing up. and have minor chronic fatigue. also i had a bullseye-type thingy on my thigh that really, REALLY looked like a tick bite! i was in immense amounts of pain and couldnt properly walk. there was a dot in the middle, and this surrounding ring of red would expand and shrink overtime. very reasonable to think of it as a tick bite. anyway my parents carried me out to the car in the middle of the night so we could go to sick kids. they measured how much the ring would expand by (i dont remeber number. it was beeg.) and then they sent me to the ER out of the concern that i would get lyme disease. they tested me or something idk i was unconcious and. IT WASNT A TICK BITE! you may be asking "so what was it, mr gorgeous fish?" um. well heres why this is in the 'medical mystery' section. they never found out. it went away a day later and we were just like "ah. okay." so. whoops. when i was a toddler they put me in an mri thing where they uh. strapped me down because toddlers usually freak out and damage the mri thingy? anyway. was in there for two hours. and i did not freak out. at all. i was asleep for one of the hours, but the second one i just laid there very awake and very still and the doctors thought i had brain. damage. i didnt! yay ! i also have many chronic illness now. weeeee i probably missed a lot of my stories here but anyway. heres me being silly
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sleepboysummer · 8 months
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jane doe week day 2
@janedoeweek another member as jane/john doe
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i decided to do soemthing i dont usually and do ricky/savannah doe!! (although my personal hc is that savannah is a name for one of rickys characters, i still toootally love transfemme ricky/savannah so im using her for this)
i think the space theme could be utilized more in the way that, shes still stuck 'sailing through space' while the rest of the choir is in the warehouse now. (like how at the end of bojd there is a projection of stars!! its already part of janes character i just want to turn that up more!!) so that but like, through the whole thing. so for example, she could say a fact about how lonely/scary space is instead of the lion thing!! and just stare off into the distance to show that her mind is not really here. also savannah doe would still be disabled obviously, but ofc she doesnt know that so during her entrance she takes 2 steps and barely realizes something is Not Right before she has to grab on to something. so for the rest of the show she is either sitting or using random things in the warehouse (that penny gives her) as a makeshift mobility aid. very confused all the time and wandering randomly, afraid to touch people (as opposed to hugging people all the time like most penny janes)
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