#im on T so cryings hard but i legit teared up at the end

[forjongseong]

NANA I AM FINALLY HERE AND AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH okay the way you described Jay cooking and his mom telling him to chill BRUH LMAO me tbh and then MR. LEE THE REALEST ONE OUT HERE approaching jay!!!!!!

Is this a goodbye set?

SHUT THE FUCK-

-

I don’t feel like pushing the trolley alone.

BRUH ME AF LMAO i always take my nieces and nephews to the store with me. i make them push the carts and carry the basket. lol they think im buying them things, WHICH I DO, but i make them work for me hehehehehehh

-

Each day you spend with Heeseung, you learn something new about Jay.

STOP IT! MY HEART IS BREAKING ALREADY.

-

“Do you see him in your future?”

NANA! not me listening to taylor swift and crying omfg I CANT WAIT TO TELL MY BF LATER AND CRY TO HIM T_T

-

You rolled over to the right side of your bed, where Jay used to sleep. You caught a whiff of his scent from the pillowcase and you froze.

omg nana, not me legit crying lol like idk what it is about me rn, but i am IN TEARS emo hours hitting hard lolol maybe because i was brought back to when my bf and i first broke up and i was missing him. ugh, we were stupid then but stupidly in love now. dhadhashsahahaah T-T

-

When ordering a drink at a café, he mentioned your favorite drink instead of his own

stopppppppp it omfg my heart is crushing i- i cant right now.

-

Surprisingly, Jinyoung did not fall back and instead retaliated, landing a punch on Jay’s face.

THE WAY I FUCKING SCREAMED but i need to stop screaming. my sister is asleep and she works third shift sfashdhajdsak

-

He let you move his face around, and although he looked serious, he was dying inside from having to suppress the feeling of wanting to just pull you into his embrace.

nana i am gushing here LORDDDD i can picture this all so well T-T jay just wanting to just throw everything away and hug her aaahhhh!!

-

Soon after, you stopped in your tracks and looked down, sobbing.

i wasnt gonna comment on this but I JUST HAD TO. i paused from reading and broke down crying idk why defghdjsakda maybe because i've been here before and i understand where she's coming from

-

“I’ve said stuff I didn’t mean that ended up driving you away.”

Jay chuckled softly. “If anything, I should be the one apologizing for leaving you all alone.”

me cryingcryingcrying omfg DO YOU KNOW MY LIFE, NANA? lmao jkjk

-

“Hey, Park, I just wanted to ask—Oh, shit.”

HWI I AM CRYING HERE OMG WHY DID U RUIN THE MOMENT SDFGHJKL

-

He didn’t need to walk through fire, for his fire was you.

my heart is so fucking happy right now, LIKE THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

-

OKAY NANA HERE IT IS LMAO i fucking love this series so much. SO FUCKING MUCH. their lil argument and jay being away got me in tears. when she slipped in the bathroom and called for jay, I CRIED. i paused again and broke down crying. like i said, relatable to when my bf and i broke up the first time. im in shambles, speechless, BECAUSE THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL, NANA. my heart strings were tugged and then i walked through fire with jay T_T thank you soooooooo much for writing this. <3

Man I'm sorry this relates to you so much I swear I wasn't spying on you and your boyfriend! akjsdhkjasdhsakjhsda what Taylor Swift song were you listening too? Did you tell your bf yet?

prepare for part 5.5 in which boss yn and secretary!Jay go on a trip (spoiler alert) with the rest of the hyungline!

#nanaanswers #from.genie #nanafeedbacks #fic: tusa

[randomdailylife999]

Sometimes I still think about the first guy I ever liked. You know the one that gives you butterflies in your stomach, the one that runs around in your mind nonstop, the one that you think you’ll have a future with. I’ll never forget about him I think.

I think we were both too young, maybe he was the right person but the timing was so bad. We both didn’t know what we wanted out of life, and you honestly can’t blame anyone at that age for it. Everyone is constantly changing.

But he sucked lol. He would hide his secret meetings with his “friend” from me. Some reminders to myself on what happened;

- I liked him early on in high school we had group projects and some classes together but then I kinda forgot about him until grade 12 and then I had this massive crush on him

- his entire friend group knew we liked each other, bruh i fucking kissed him on the cheek one night when we were hanging out with his friend group and I pulled him to the side

- moving onto uni, he gave me a t shirt from when he went overseas for a competition

- I ended class early on Thurs/fri and he had a large gap in between classes so I was like okay I can just wait for u and we can hang out and stuff I don’t have to go home right after class

- but instead he was meeting a friend and he said they just came to Toronto so he was going to meet them, he made it sound like it his friend just landed in Toronto from an airplane flight and I thought this person was a dude

- he initially said yea let’s hang out and then the day is here and I try to text him over and over and nothing, and then when I finally reach him he’s like yea I’m still here, I’m waiting for my friend. He just forgot he agreed that we were meeting up!

- I was furious

- this happened for basically the whole semester and I was stupid enough to not realize

- I later found out that this friend was a girl who went to York and she wasn’t even in the same program as him, like I rlly thought this friend was helping him study or something

- I think she’s a lesbian lol but that’s besides the point! Why call them just a friend, suspicious behaviour

- I remember he only told me who his friend was when I asked and I was heartbroken, devastated

- I remember not being able to go practice early Wednesday morning cuz I was just crying all night Tuesday night so I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed early next morning

- I remember holding back tears on the train. I was close my eyes so hard so try not to cry on the way to and from school

- second semester comes around and I ask for his schedule to see if we have time to hang out, he sends it but never asks for mine, bruh at this point I should have given up

- I saw one of his friends second semester who recognized me as we walked by each other but at that point I already stopped talking to him

- I find out he transferred schools to York and now studies kindergarten and he never bothered to tell me, if we were rlly friends, he would have told me??? But ig we weren’t close enough for that

- I remember crying myself to sleep for months

- so we basically don’t talk for a very very long time, I’m going through my closet and I realize I still have his stupid shirt he gave me and I’m like I don’t want it anymore but how do I give it back to him?

- I contact one of our mutuals, his friend first and I explain the situation a bit and we meet in person and I explain it more and I give our mutual the shirt to give back to him

- then my ex crush texts me and wants to meet up for bbt to talk and i was like “unfortunately im busy” or “im busy unfortunately”, that’s legit one of the last things he said to me before he ghosted me

- (I asked him if he was still down to go somewhere I can’t remember, and he said that, and then I told him, okay just let me know when ur free, and he never got back to me in 6 months, yea he could have forgotten to text me back but like yea no lol)

- I had told our mutual that I was willing to talk to him but by the time he reached out to me I was soooo over it, like I thought about it a little bit more and I was like, you’re only texting me because our mutual friend talked to u about it. You don’t even know what u did, someone had to tell u what happened in order for u to reach out to me, that doesn’t sit well with me

- he removed me from his discord friend list and removed me from the group chat he added me to with his friends

- he’s the reason why prom sucked

- hes one of the reasons i didnt rlly like hs all that much

- he’s the last person I ever felt that strongly about, everyone I’ve liked afterwards has never made me feel that way

- I’m afraid to say it but I can’t rlly love like that anymore, the love I feel now it’s as crazy as before ( like I’ve lost my mind lol), it’s a more mature, head over heart kind of love

- he has a masters now I think while I don’t so I want to get one, I can never let someone like that be better than me. I have to be more successful than him

- if he ever sees this, “fuck u”

#first crush #oh well #story time #graveyard #feelings #reminiscing #teenagers #rant post #personal rant

[hellotherepaul]

Sorry for all the csh posting yall

#guess who finally fucking figured out the plot ish of twin fantasy auditory processing means i missed some key lyrics and meanings #and like GOD fuck me uppppp like its even better and deeper knowing this shit and im losing my mind #im on T so cryings hard but i legit teared up at the end

[tsukishimas-shortcake]

Relationship Headcanons

↦ Character(s): Hakkai Shiba x fem!reader

↦ Rating/Warning: No rating though there are some light mentions of abuse (if you have read the manga you are aware of what I am talking about, I’m not going very deep into it though it literally just mentions it), mentions of anxiety attacks (no detail though), fluff, not proof read

↦ Word count: 1.8k (longer than planned, sections are bolded)

↦ Your Momo’s Receipt: Hello~ I’m post yet another TR headcanon and this was requested by the lovely @strawbub I hope this doesn’t disappoint, it did get longer than planned but I enjoyed writing it. I'll prob do a part two that's more of a scenario based on your first date or something since I didn't go into it here. Please note: for those of you who don’t know my blog is currently under construction, meaning I will not be updating my masterlist for the time being.

So how did you guys meet, well mostly because of Yuzuha,

One day in like elementary you’re walking home and you see this super pretty middle school girl just like yelling at this small group of guys

The guys end up running off just because they don’t wanna deal with her or the attention she's drawn to them

Behind her was a boy, taller than her but obviously younger. You didn’t assume they knew eachother though.

The boy and yuzuha began walking in opposite directions because one was going home while the other was going to pick up something like groceries

You’re so entranced by how she stood up to them yet she’s a girl who was far smaller and you end up catching up to her, almost stepping on her heels

You end up absent mindedly following her into the grocery store and eventually she just freezes, turns, and stare directly at you

Your eyes widen since you must’ve been staring and she just goes “may I ask why you’re following me?” And you explain how cool she was earlier. She invites you over for dinner (esp since her older brother won’t be home) and figured it’d be good for Hakkai to meet someone his age

You end up going over but Hakkai didn’t come down to eat so you never actually got to meet him, though from then on you would see Yuzuha every so often, visit every other weekend or so

But no matter how often you came over the next few months, you never once met hakkai,

That was until you both reached the end of your middle school education and we’re about to begin high school

You had gone over because you were going to borrow an old work book from Yuzuha, and when you go to knock on the door the door opens before your closed fist could hit it, instead hitting a firm chest

You blush and quickly apologize but the person in front of you doesn’t move at all, doesn’t say anything and almost looks like they drifted into space with their dead stare

You assume this is yuzuha’s older brother because you’ve also never met him and you immediately turn to walk away but Yuzuha calls over hakkai’s shoulder

“Y/N-Chan! You just got here where are you going?” This was def not yuzuha’s older brother. There’s no way she’d be that happy with him around; oh my god. Realization hit, the guy who you hit (though it was more of a tap) was hakkai.

The hakkai you had only caught a glimpse of in yuzuha’s photos, never talked to or actually seen in person despite going to the same school and living in the same neighborhood

He must hate you. That’s why he avoids you. That’s def why - is what you think

Yuzuha drags hakkai back inside and invites you in; you sit down with them in the living room and watch hakkai visibly relax now that he’s inside his house, his own space, with a pillow behind him and a blanket covering his lower half, he almost curls up into it as he continues to avoid your stare

“Hi hakkai…Kun? Im L/N Y/N” you say and you see his face dead pan once again

Yuzuha can be heard laughing from the kitchen as she comes back in.

She leans over and begins explaining that hakkai literally just freezes with any interaction between him and girls who aren’t in his family

You nod, thinking maybe it’s an anxiety thing? Which is the case with you, but only because he’s been watching you since you’ve come over (not in a creepy way) wanting to and working the courage up to talk to you

The 5th or so time you came over after that encounter he was inches away from introducing himself before the house phone rang causing everyone to kind of “wake up” in a sense

Every time since then he gets closer and closer but isn’t able to say anything; he even realizes he has a crush on you.

The way you sit when you do homework and how cute you look when you’re focused.

How your forehead scrunches up when you’re trying to figure something out and you end up just sitting back with a small huff followed by yuzuha’s signature laughter.

It’s also a huge thing that you get along with Yuzuha.

So enough with first meeting time for the confession.

He ends up confessing accidentally. He didn’t know you were coming over to begin with so he was flustered out of his mind. And how was he supposed to know you hadn’t actually fallen asleep and you could hear him over the tv

The tv was more white noise than anything and the day was hot since it was the middle of summer causing the window to be open and the sound of soft wind and small birds to drift in; this was the hot that makes you tired so you were all sprawled out of just sitting in a daze

So while resting your head on the table you’re dozing in and out but then you hear hakkai begin to speak, something he never really did around you

Now did you and hakkai text? Yes. Did it take him an hour to reply because his brain would explode when you replied to him? Yes. But was it a start to communication? Also a yes.

You hear him say your name quietly before he moved closer, you can feel his gaze on your features

“I like you” is all he says. Simple and sweet. But you sit there in shock, trying not to blush so he’ll have no idea you heard him but he can tell because your forehead scrunches

You heard him and are focused on if you should reply or not. And he knows that.

You open your eyes and just look up at him, he’s closer than expected. His hand close to yours on the floor and he reaches over and grabs it lightly. Hoping you’ll also return the gesture by holding his hand instead of leaving your hand limp inside his.

And you do, thank goodness, and Hakkai almost mentally can’t handle it.

Once you start dating it’s more so just hanging out at his house or yours; however he talks a bit more and you text a lot more. He’s gotten better at replying. It usually takes him like 15 minutes now

He’s kinda stressed about your relationship but not due to anything you or him did

He’s stressed because of the mentality his older brother gave him

Is he even allowed to be this happy?

He finally has someone thats small enough and naive enough that he can protect you; compared to constantly being protected it’s a sudden, strong, yet good change for him

He’s touch s t a r v e d

Yes Yuzuha shows affection; but he stopped accepting her hugs when he was around 8 just because he physically wasn’t able to handle it due to his bruises and such

But with you, even with his bruises and all you take care of him. Able to coax him into using medicines and toning down the physical violence (that he can control himself)

He also finds it super soothing when you lightly brush over his scars (especially those that his brother gave him), it helps him believe that scars are only physical and can fade with help

One thing that stresses him out the most is trying to hide you from his brother. Any time you leave something at the house its easy to pass it off as yuzuha's but when it comes to things like photos he has with you, he can't hang them up, show them off, or have them as his phone Lock Screen, etc. because he just really doesn't want his brother to know and target you since he'll then know that you're his weakness (aside from yuzuha as well)

Sometimes won't explain why he can't hang out and has legit pushed you out of his house before at the last minute notice of his brother coming home

Will always make sure you get home safe though, usually by having Yuzuha go with you since then she can just say you're a friend from school

Your parents love him, though they were a bit hesitant it became a "you always have a place to stay" because they learned about their family situation from you and yuzuha. So expect him to spend the night when he's too scared to deal with his brother. Same with yuzuha. (yes I know this isn't yuzuha head canons but its hard to write for him without mentioning her when they're so close)

We're talking three person sleep overs. Yuzuha and you of course share the bed and Hakkai takes some time to even set foot in your room much less sleep on a mattress that's on the floor

He has a small heart attack every time he comes into your room because he's overwhelmed with everything, he's never been so comfortable and it makes him feel restless. Like he's never and I mean n e v e r been less stressed and slept better than when he does so in your room

The smell, the colors, just being surrounded by you is something that completely changes his mood

Once showed up after he fought with his brother, tears in his eyes and clothes a bit tattered and you just pulled him to your room, and sat down with him.

You laid on your bed with him laying down onto of you, head on your chest as you rubbed his head and only said a few words "its not your fault"

He ends up crying so hard he falls asleep and gets dehydrated and you have to make him drink a bunch of water when he finally wakes up.

NSFW

super fucking careful w you

almost annoyingly so, but you're understanding

He knows that he might be taking things frustratingly slow but he knows that since you understand and know his history that you can help him get through it

Your first time you think you'll have to call it off because he's shaking so bad

"baby... are you sure it won't hurt you?" he keeps asking.

pretty sure that's the longest its ever taken him to finish because he was so anxious

despite being so slow and hesitant, late he isn't too scared to get a bit rougher

but im not talking anything crazy im talking like he's willing to pull your hair a bit or nip a bit harder at your neck.

Please never ask him to do anything like degrade you or some type of harsh physical rough shit, he can't

like literally im 99% sure that if you ask him to choke you or something he will pass out because of the anxiety attack he would have at even the thought.

in short with nsfw though he is sweet boy. He's a switch through and through. Loves when you take care of everything because then he doesn't have to be scared of hurting you.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers scenarios #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers drabbles #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers hakkai #tokyo revengers hakkai scenarios #tokyo revengers hakkai headcanons #tokyo revengers hakkai drabbles #tokyo revengers hakkai smut #tokyo revengers hakkai fluff #tokyo revengers hakkai shiba #tokyo revengers hakkai shiba scenarios #tokyo revengers hakkai shiba headcanons #tokyo revengers hakkai shiba fluff #hakkai x reader #hakkai headcanons #hakkai tokyo revengers #hakkai smut #hakkai shiba #hakkai x reader headcanons #hakkai shiba x reader #hakkai fluff #hakkai x reader fluff #hakkai shiba x reader fluff

[hongism]

oh caly. i finally FINALLY read moc 40! literally seconds ago i just finished it!! i have so much to say but also nothing to say im so speechless??????? im sorry its taken me so long to read and send an ask i miss you dearly but life has again been busy and crazy rn and i honestly havent even been on tumblr much which is saying a lot bc im usually here 24/7 lol but anywaysss lets get into huh~

hi solar bestie im finally here eEEEEE sorry it took me so long but i’ve got some time today so im getting shit DONE!!!! but pLS never feel obliged to send asks, life comes first, life is more important, pls take care of yourself first and foremost!!!! okay ilysm bestie 👹💞💓

lord lets start with my feelings bc from the very beginning of the chapter my adrenaline was going, sis was on EDGE like i couldnt make my eyes move fast enough to read and let the break in take place!!! i legit was like clutching my pearls waiting for all hell to break loose!! the conversations y/n has with hongjoong are probably one of my fav parts of this whole story bc it just gets so raw like i love his character SO much hes honestly like top 3 fav characters in mists fr but like everything that comes out of his mouth i have like a guttural reaction to and its the best ugh!! okay so i took a few screenshots of moments i wanted to scream about and the first one was when joong pressed up against y/n to get her to phase through the door to unlock it idk man but that whole scene was fantastic and i liveddd!! just the entire break in up until her dream was just so fucking good like the writing sis!! ILL SAY IT AGAIN YOU MF QUEEN OF FANTASY AND SCIFI!!! no ones doing it like you!!!!!

feelings ! okay ! im GLAD THAT U WERE ON EDGE BUT IM ALSO SORRY!!! eeee it makes me happy to hear the emotions were written well enough for you to feel them like that aaaaa but hello omg one of your fave parts??? 🥺🥺 im so glad thank u :(( i too have an absolute guttural and visceral reaction to anything hongjoong does and says in mists too HAHHAHAH but fr that phase scene with them pressed up against each other mmmmmm yeah mhm self indulgent v needed eeeeee

okay now onto san. bc up until the past few chapters we all know ive been a hard hwa x yn shipper but ohohoho that has changed bc the reunion!!!!!!!! FUCK it hurt so good it actually had me crying like yeah i got tear drops on my phone!!!! also the heated convo with hwa after they got to the clinic yeah i FELT that it was so good

OHOHOHO another conversion to the moc san x yn ship :3 i’m guilty of actively trying to get more people to jump aboard the san x yn ship i’ll admit ✋😔 but TEARDROPS ON THE POHNE IM SORRY 😭😭😭😭 im so glad it was good tho thank u T-T

i screenshotted when yn went to se san after hwajoong left and when san was flirting with yn it was chefs kiss like mf could have been paralyzed and he was like ayeee shawty time for mouth to mouth?? just kidding…. unless🤪

HAHAHHAHAHAHHA PLS yeah i had to break it up in there u know me i love me some random humor 😌 you’ll be happy in the next chapter i guarantee 😏

oh and when san said “yn… my darling, come here” yeah i levitated. simple astral projected and screamed. that killed me in the best way

levitated. astral projected. SCREAMED! i love it that’s exactly what i was going for :3

AND THE LOVE CONFESSION??? ARE WE JOKING!,!,!,!!. I LIVED I LOVED IT WAS THE BEST LIKE I THINK IT WAS PERFECT! PERFECT TIMING PERFECT PLACE IT WAS ALL PERFECT AND I SOBBED I REALLY SOBBED!!!!!! ugh caly can you like, idk, stop one upping yourself with these chapters bc somehow they always end up being better and better i just. good lord thank you for your brain 😤

eHEHEHHEHE THE LOVE CONFESSION! i was SO worried about it being ???? im not sure, i was just worried that it wouldn’t fit or feel right in the mood or context but when i started writing it it just came out of me and just yeeted out there idek what came over me at ALL

as always, i love you so much!!!! oh and ill be sending a long ask soon about drag race bc i finally caught up on that too!!! - solar🌙

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

i LOVE YOU SOSO MUCH !! pls remember to drink lots of water oki and don’t forget to eat heh i’m curious to know what you thought of the recent drag race eps!!!

#mists of celeste #moc: spoilers #solar🌙

[vincent-frankenstein]

ADHD sides hcs :3c

self projection time? self projection time

feel free to add ur own hcs onto this im jus usin my own experiences here 

startin w PATTON

emotional regulation? who’s she? patton only knows feeling emotions with Every Single Atom in his body so powerfully he might one day Explode

if he’s happy hes HAPPY!!!!! it’s like his body fills with light and he’s walking 2 feet off the ground and nothing could go wrong — and then whoops, something goes wrong, and wh o o ps, hes crying, whoops —

has a million stuffed animals sitting aLL around the house so he always has something to Squeeze

Squeezing is a good stim dont @ me

he throws his whole body into stimming

flapping, bouncing, jumping, spinning — his body must be moving at all times or he will die 

starting things is. Very very hard for him. executive dysfunction hits DEEP and he’s just,,, paralyzed. he wants to do the thing!!! he really does!!! his brain just Wont Let Him

logan used to get very frustrated with him but then patton like, explained how it felt and a little lightbulb went off in logan’s head

“patton, I think you have adhd.”

“... i’m guessin that doesn’t mean im a-delightful-hip-dad?”

then they did some Research together and put together a plan to help patton work around executive dysfunction and, it works, sometimes

when it doesnt, logan makes hot cocoa and sits with him

AUDITORY. PROCESSING. PROBLEMS.

“Hey, Pat, what’s for dinner?” “huh?” “I said, what’s for —” “meATloaf”

hearing is an uphill struggle so sometimes he just Signs instead but a lot of the time he gets so excited about what he’s trying to say he just dissolves into flapping halfway through the sentence

lots of hyperfixations !!!! so many !!! he cycles through em one after another suuuuper quickly 

he never forgets a hyperfixation, and the mention of ANY old hyperfixations will have him cry-flapping

roman: hey did u know they’re making another phineas and ferb movie -

patton, vibrating intensely and sobbing, .5 seconds away from launching into orbit: theYR E MAKING A WHAT

ROMAN

singing is his absolute FAVORITE STIM

that moment where u reach a point in a song where ur chest just, Swells and u can feel ur voice Vibrating ? yeah

sometimes Does Not warm up beforehand bc ??? he has No Choice but to sing along to certain songs and he cant always control when they come on so his voice sometimes gets Very Raspy from belting without warmups

aside from that twirling and doing Ballet Poses are also very good stims. he stick his leggy out Real Far mmhm

roman: *starts a new project and doesnt finish it* *starts a new project and doesnt finish it* *starts a new project and doesnt finish it* *starts a new project and doesnt finish it *starts a new project and doesnt finish it* *starts a new project and doesnt finish it* *starts a new project and doesnt fin

his room is a MESS and NO he will NOT clean it LOGAN he has a SYSTEM 

he doesnt have a system and the mess stresses him out to no end but he has one (1) braincell and it’s dedicated to Starting Projects And Not Finishing Them so

needs validation to survive

like legit if he doesnt get validation he will DIE 

on the flip side, if he gets any sort of rejection, he will also Die

logan: so I read through your latest script, and the idea is solid. We can definitely work with this. I did notice one oddly structured sentence so I fixed that for you —

roman: so you basically hate it and i should die 

rejection sensitive dysphoria is the one villain he has yet to figure out how to slay

contrary to what u might think, he keeps his hyperfixations Very close to his heart. he doesnt think he would survive it if one of the others were to criticize them

the one exception to this rule: disney. 

you cant look at this boy and tell me hes not hyperfixated on disney i mean did you s E E him in that one ep cmon

he will ramble about disney to anyone who will listen for hours. days, even, if you give him the opportunity. infodumping about disney is like injecting pure sunlight right into his bloodstream; by the end of it he’s glowing

once, after accepting anxiety, virgil and roman ended up in another debate about the Meanings of disney movies, but this time it was friendly, and by the end of it roman had gotten to ramble about each and every one of his favorite movies and he had never been happier

it was the first time virgil ever saw him Flap

they still get together to talk disney sometimes

VIRGIIIIL

virgil: *stims while listening to mcr* *stims while listening to mcr* *stims while listening to mcr* *stims while listening to mcr* *stims while listening to mcr* *stims while listening to mcr* *stims while liste

like roman, Music is virgil’s main stim, but he prefers to just. Move. bouncin his leg and drumming his hands in the air and shaking his head etc etc

it takes. literally foreVER for him to trust the others enough to stim around them. music is his main comfort but, for a Long Time, he wouldnt let himself listen to it when the others were around, just bc he knew he’d want to stim and he couLDNT bc what if he got juDGED

but then one day roman starts singing and patton jumps up and starts spinning and virgils like “???” and logans like “that’s how they stim” and virgils like “!!!!”

he Tappy Leg Real Fast

he also has a string of beads he carries everywhere to twist around his fingers bc bead,,, Good Texture

he struggles with rsd just as badly as roman, but he shows it in a Different Way

roman hurts, but hes an actor. he’s not about to invite more rejection by letting them know how much their words hurt! no no no, he keeps up the bravado until hes back in his room and then he breaks

but virgil. the rsd hits and its like, a physical blow to his chest and he crumples, wilting in on himself, and the world around him just sorta, ebbs away. for virgil, rsd is static

after AA the others start to learn his Signs for when hes feeling Bad™ so whenever he shrinks away they’ll stop the conversation and talk him through his insecurities until he feels better

SPOOKY HYPERFIXATIONS ALL THE WAY

went to Halloween Horror Nights one (1) time and now listens to the music on repeat and just. stims for hours

also hes in love with austin gumbam from academy of villains me? self projecting? never 

knows Every Obscure Fact from Every Horror Movie Ever and the urge to infodump is Consntantly at the forefront of his mind but he Never Does

unless someone gives him permission 

virgil: oh? chucky? thats a. cool movie.  did you know that — uh. nvm

logan: no no, go on

virgil, vibrating at a speed that could shatter glass: iF YOU INSIST-

LOGAN,,,,

this bitch is just as bad at Emotional Regulation as patton

hes just better at hiding it

that little stunt w the paper in lntao? he is Constantly .5 seconds away from going apeshitt. that was just A Glimpse into the chaos

he’s just,,,, very very bad at Identifying what he’s feeling. patton hid his feelings from the others, but he still knew what he was feeling, and he knows how to identify emotions

logan, on the other hand? 

logan: passion and anger are both Hot. they must be The Same Thing

patton: i. i mean. not really

logan: goddamnit

or

patton: logan? are you crying?

logan, touching his cheek and finding Tears: hm. tragic. and here i thought i was “happy”

he’d much rather just,,, Not feel but thats not an option bc he still feels things intensely, he just doesnt know What he’s feeling most of the time

quiet stims. he runs his hands along the fabric of his tie, feeling the grooves of the stitches, and readjusts his glasses constantly. if he’s feelin extra wild, he’ll even pull out his rubix cube and solve and re-solve it without even looking

LOTS of obscure hyperfixations

he has so many books on so many different subjects,,,, his room is more of a library than a bedroom and thats just the way he likes it

throwback to that one time he hyperfixated on reptiles and thomas’ little “slimy boy” outburst had him chasing deceit around the mindscape trying to feel his scales “FOR SCIENCE”

memory. problems.

he HATES hates hates hates the fact that things slip his mind so easily. hence, the notebook, and the daily planner, and the deluge of postits hanging around his bedroom

it frustrates him to no end especiaLLY when he forgets important information in front of thomas

patton watches out for the signs of Frustration and brings logan a cup of tea later than day and helps him sort through the Mess of notes on his desk to catalogue the Important Info

just let logan and patton be adhd buds @god bls i beggeth

but when he does remember The Information and thomas praises him? effervescent

logan, after thomas called him cool, kicking down pattons door: I FINALLY KNOW WHAT HAPPINESS TRULY FEELS LIKE

patton: hey! cool your jets there, kiddo!

logan:

patton: :3c

logan, turning around: neveRMIND

patton: nO WAI T-

the day thomas called him cool was the first time he ever Flapped

#patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides #adhd #sanders sides hcs #celeste's portfolio #woop w o o p #very Basic™ but im jus like. throwing some of My Experiences at the sides and seein what sticks so #out of this im like. mostly patton n roman #espe c I A LLY roman's singing stim my voice is SHOT rn bc ive been singing nonstop without warming up #adhd sides #legit pls add onto this !!!! i wanna see what experiences Others have

[elfangel94]

Teen Top in San Jose 2019

Concert Day

So I woke up at 6am and started getting ready. At around 9 I woke everyone else up and they got ready as well. I was dressed as joker for the costume contest but I decided I would put the wig on last minute before they took the picture. Unfortunately because it was so disorganized I wasn’t able to be photographed at all (more on that later). We got to the venue around 3:30 and there was almost no one there. A little later around 4-ish my brother spotted cap walking around the building with either staff or a body guard (we watched him but didn’t scream or say/do anything I don’t think he even noticed us we were pretty far away). Eventually people started showing up and staff came out. I had assumed that the contest would be first with all the participants gathered and then photographed, me and my sister wanted to take our pic together but I had already been lined up for the fan signing when she was photographed. I didn’t want to go in and see the boys in costume but they were very confusing and instead of some sort of order the photos were taken really randomly and some people were missed. After we were inside the venue they took some more but I was already changed. Anyway, I go in and in order Niel, cap, Chunji, Ricky and changjo are seated at the table. I walked up and gave Niel my letter and his gifts

Niel: “Hi!”

Me: “hi”

Niel: “To.. Teen Top?”

Me: “yes! And you!”

Niel: “and me?! Thank you~!” (He has the cutest lil voice)

I move on to cap and we say hi he started handing me the album and I was reaching for it when we both realized he had to pass it to Chunji 🤣 (we officially share the same one braincell) Chunji was really bright when he said hi and had this like idk naughty boy face I’m not sure how to describe it but I was weAK. Then on to Ricky who said “hi Rebekah!” I almost didn’t say hi because I was having a spongebob moment in which all my brains cells were having a meltdown over him saying my name. I moved on to changjo who had the warmest smile and just seemed so happy to see me. We said hi and thank you like the others (the interactions are so brief but me being a shy ass knucklehead who can’t do a speak makes it even shorter lol) after that I exited to queue up for the hi touch (this is where I had to change my clothes and I held up the line iM SO SORRY T-T) The hi touch was sO fAsT I barely remember it. I just remember being too nervous to look at them lmao so once that was over we went round again and did the group pic. I get inside and the lady told me to kneel next to changjo (kneel for changjo? glAdLY mY KinG) and he just kept looking at me and smiling so warmly and then he leaned on me and BOYYYYYEEEEEEE HE SMELL SO GOOD 😭 they took the pictures and changjo looked at me and said “thank you!” we literally created a new language consisting of only the phrase “thank you” because I’d say thank you then he’d say thank you then I’d say thank you again because I’m fucking dumb. But he understands. So we finished and went into the auditorium where I sat next to a really sweet cool girl dressed as Harley Quinn(who was also a VAV Stan I was so happy to meet another VAMPZ in real life😭💜). I don’t know her name but I was really thankful she struck up a convo because I was so nervous and anxious and her talking really helped me calm down a bit and she watched my seat for me when I had to go to the restroom so whoever and wherever you are thank you you are truly an Angel 😇 💜 I missed the boys coming out because I had a bathroom break and I legit ran back and started recording as I got back inside. At first I was afraid of getting too close to the stage but after a song or two I was like fuck it yolo bitch I’m moving uP and stood right next to the stage. Changjo was on that side mostly but Niel came over quite a bit too and Ricky as well towards the end of the concert. I was so close I could touch them (I wouldn’t and didn’t! Don’t fucking touch people!) I was really hoping one of them would take my phone but alas ‘‘twas not meant to be ☹️ but Niel, changjo, Ricky and Chunji all looked right at me and into my phone so that’s good enough for me 😭 some people said cap made a mistake but I missed it (I saw it later on my video 😂) all I saw was him absolutely dyInG of laughter. Boy was laughing so hard he couldn’t rap properly 😂he covered his face all embarrassed (he’s the cutest lil bean and I will break your knees if you say different) he was sitting down a lot tho and I’m really outta the loop lately so I don’t know if he was injured or not but I hope he’s ok :(

During Crazy changjo committed a murder by blowing a kiss to this poor girl in front and as her life slipped away as she fell to the floor he stood back and smugly appreciated his handy work. It was damn cute. Every time Niel came close my heart just went a little “AHHHHHHHHJDJDJDNDBRVSUSKRNFDIEJDJ”🥺 I still can’t believe how close I was. The encores were the best changjo threw water on us and got me wet now I��m never showering again. After the concert we had to wait for snapshots and since my little sister got 1st place in the costume contest she went first and I went with her to get her group photo with the boys. They came out into the lobby (also I was so proud of the fans No one was shrieking, chasing or tryna grab them it was very calm and intimate with them just kinda standing around with us for a Bit while things were organized) and immediately gravitated to her they all said hi to her and Ricky and changjo were going on about how cute she was. They all got up on the stairs an she zoomed up to get next to Niel. She was hidden by the other girls but Niel helped her get positioned so she could be seen it was such a precious interaction I wish I could have recorded it :( Once she was done she went back to my dad and I went to get my snapshots. First I got cap he was sitting down and I don’t remember if he said anything or not I said hi we took the pic then we said thank you and I got in line for Chunji. Chunjis greetings were Always so bright he said hi and he wrapped his arm around me (I felt like the queen of the world my dude Chunji has an affect) i finished we both said thank you and I got in line for Niel. About halfway down the line I started getting teary-eyed and had to do everything In my power to not have an absolute break down. When I got to him We both said hi and then we took the photo and he wrapped his arm around me and put his head on mine and held me so snugly and close. I almost started crying again but there was no way I’m crying in front of Niel cap Chunji and all these people so a bitch sucked those tears up. We take the photo and say thank you but as I start to walk forward to leave Niel quickly bent down and moved a basket full of film cartridges out of the way 🥺 I said thank you (shocker) and he says “you’re welcome” in his precious lil voice. I finished and went to go get my photo with changjo and Ricky. Ricky said hi all bubbly and cheery but he quickly changed when we did the pose. Ricky put on his smolder 😩I tried to stare him down too but ended up having to look away and just focus on the camera at the last second. I was wRECKeD. I was so disoriented by the smolderTM that I started to run away and almost forgot my picture 😭🤣Last but not least I finally get to changjo and again he just makes you feel like you’re the only person there and that he’s been waiting all his life just to meet you. I held his (huge) hand in his and kinda felt bad cuz he was so warm and soft and I was damn near frozen solid. Once I got my photo I realized I was done ☹️ so I went outside to wait for my sisters. I don’t really know what else to say other than they were just as amazing as the first time I saw them and I feel like I’ve been renewed, reborn, rejuvenated just by seeing them. I had so much fun the boys were wonderful the fans were wonderful and very respectful no grabbing (that I saw) or unnecessary shrieking in inappropriate times just overall really great and I really hope to do this again some day. Everyone was wonderful and the staff especially were very nice and helpful but the way some things were managed was very poorly and confusing other than that everything went great. I really hope they read my letter because it’s everything I’ve ever wanted to say to them and I need them to know just how much they’ve helped me in life.

#teen top #niel #chunji #changjo #ricky #teentop #c.a.p #bang minsu #minsu #ahn daniel #lee chanhee #choi jonghyun #yoo changhyun #jonghyun #chanhee #changhyun #daniel #minsoo #bang minsoo #TEENTOPinSanJose #TEENTOPinSJ #PARTY_TON9NE_in_SANJOSE #PARTY TON9NE in SANJOSE #teen top in san jose #teentop in san jose #teen top in sj #teentop in sj

[hyyunjinn]

Things I Love About Stray Kids (2/∞)

a/n: hello, this is gonna be a series now because 1) I’m really happy this week, like I legit haven’t been this genuinely happy in a long time and 2) I love them more than I thought sO HERE WE GO AGAIN!

Chan

okay, this is sad but, the fact that he believes he’s the only one who carries the team? he’s blaming himself for the eliminations and didn’t even want to rejoice with everyone else because he wanted them to forgive him first. like no chan, it was never your fault--you already do so much for the team and everyone knows that. but it’s definitely admirable 

HIS FRIENDSHIP/RELATIONSHIP WITH THE REST OF JYPN IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, PUREST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD U G H HE’S LIKE THE LITTLE BROTHER OF EVERYONE WHILE HE’S ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HIS GROUP LIKE YES WHAT A CONTRAST IT’S SO CUTE

that *O* face he does is super cute yo

hiS CURLY HAIR IS S U C H a look

“i really love you guys”

^^ gave me a heart attack

HIS HAPPY CHEESY SMILE ALSDFJLASDF THAT COMPLETELY LIGHTS UP HIS FACE

his awkwardness lmao 

hello can we have a mini series of chan’s kitchen please

Woojin

“HI HELLO”

^^ HE ALREADY SAID THAT MULTIPLE TIMES AND ALSDFJSD SAME BC IDK IF THAT’S A REF TO DAY6 OR NOT BUT THE WAY HE SAYS IT IS SO CUTE

yo his killing parts in aLL THE SONGS S I G H 

i love watching him perform

um, his model poses are--ACTUALLY ALL OF HIS SELFIES AND NON-OFFICIAL PHOTOS ARE SUPER CUTE YO HE’S CUTE

giving his pizza crust to chan slkfjdasfd

HIS FOREHEAD YO

that dark blue, red cuffed plaid flannel he wore last ep? A BLESSING

he seems so insecure ever since the “not a main vocal” criticism and like? he’s working so hard? so fill up his role because he feels like he doesn’t uphold it? like idk what “not a main vocal” means but i just want everyone to appreciate how much he’s taking care of himself to improve

Minho

HELLO MY BABY IS BACK AND GONNA BE IN THE CENTER FOR THE DANCES AND BE SLAYING YO THIS ISN’T EVEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT SK ANYMORE IT’S ME YELLING ABOUT MINHO’S FXKN COMEBACK BECAUSE DO YOU SEE THE TEASERS FOR NEXT WEEK--SUCH AN AMAZING DANCER I LITERALLY CANNOT TAKE MY EYES OFF OF HIM

SUCH A POWERFUL VISUAL HE ALREADY GOT TWO FANSITES--HYUNJIN IS SHAKING 

he, can dance to Lie, Begin, Dope, Blood Sweat and Tears, Spring Day, idk probably all BTS songs w h a t  t a l e n t

HE EVEN APPEARS LIKE THREE TIMES IN AN OFFICIAL BTS PHOTOBOOK LIKE I STAN A LEGEND

okay but also, we have to talk about that brown jacket/striped shirt look he wore last ep bc it iS C U T E 

he’s also that lowkey weird that if you don’t catch it, you won’t know so he passes off as the normal one of the group and it makes it x4837234 more funnier

did I already say this a millio--I LOVE EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM

him giving up on Felix’s Korean

also, the fact that his earrings are just these black circles and tbh it’s sorta hot b y e

bonus: i miss him so much and i really really really i need more content of him and get to know him better before i combust

Changbin

is so willing to help everyone in the group oh man he’s so kind

doesn’t even get mad when everyone picks on him and just goes along with it

I KNOW EVERYONE HAS SAID THIS BUT IT’S AMAZING HOW HE COMPLETELY DESTROYED HIS “DARK CONCEPT” IN THE FIRST EPISODE AND NOW EVERYONE IS JUST LIKE “CHANGBINNIE YOU’RE SO CUTE I LOVE YOU”

goes with the flow of things so well--he gets along with everyone pretty nicely and I think that’s pretty cool

“AH”

tbhlowkeysortadonewithjypbutthatsjustwhatithinksodontquotemeonthis

H I S  B O Y F R I E N D  O U T F I T S man changbin stans how you doin

what was that extra pose when taking a picture like klasjdflskadf 

WHAT WAS THAT POST ICE SKATING DATE PIC WITH HIM ON THE TABLE

Hyunjin

PHOTOGRAPHER!HYUNJIN MY ABSOLUTE FAVE CONCEPT

like laying on the ground for the perfect angle? wHAT A MOOD

wait, fanboy!hyUNJIN WHEN HE JUST OBVIOUSLY STARES AT JINYOUNG OH MY GOSH YOU COULDN’T BE LESS OBVIOUS I LOVE THIS KID

how he wants so badly to improve? i really admire how much effort he’s putting into his rap and it’s really amazing to watch and hear the improvement since hellevator 

“YAH”

he seems like he has his life together and has a pretty nonchalant facade but seeing through the cracks of his insecurities makes him so human and like him so much more than i think i would? 

HE’S ALWAYS DANCING HONESTLY THAT’S SO CUTE WHAT A NERD

UM HIS GIGGLES GET ME EVERY TIME PLEASE STOP A T T A C K I N G ME HONESTLY

ASKLDJF GOTTA BRING THIS BACK BUT WHEN HE JUST SLIDES AND OPENS HIS MOUTH FOR CHAN TO FEED HIM WAS SO FUNNY I’M NOT OVER IT

Jisung

that fKN KILLING PART IN YOUNG WINGS LSKADJFALSDF AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THE LITTLE GIGGLE HE DID AT THE END OF STRAY CUTS 4 

he’s so bright and happy and optimistic everyone needs a Jisung in our lives

casually just smushes his face into the camera so i can see his pretty eyes duh thanks kid

okay but when he was singing that parody of Don’t Wanna Cry he did this little thing to his vOICE THAT SOUNDS SO AMAZING I CAN’T GET OVER IT LIKE LAKSJDFLASDF WTF TA L E N T

he’s so annoying i love him asldkfjasdf like idk if i like him behind the cam and annoying his members or on screen doing something weird honestly probably both

THAT PICTURE CHANGBIN TOOK OF HIM BITING THE CHAIN LSKADFJSDF EWWW LMAO

WOAH WHEN WE SAW A GLIMPSE OF PRODUCER JISUNG THAT WAS SO COOL 

no but seriously? he’s so optimistic and supports everyone and he’s so wonderful and kind and super talented but i think we know that and s i g h i hope ya’ll appreciate this mess of a boy bc OH MY GOSH I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT I LOVE BRACES JISUNG HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Felix

honestly, i really just like his black hair and i think ya’ll should know this 

he’s such a hard worker?? when he showed us the time at 5 in the morning--I have a feeling he stayed up that long rather than waking up at 5 kid don’t do that it’s not healthy but! he’s doing so much and it’s amazing

OKAY BUT LIKE, THAT PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY WHEN HE TOLD CHANGBIN TO KISS HIM LIKE ALSKDFJSLDF MINHO WAS SO READY TO STRANGLE HIM ONLY FOR HIM TO BE LIKE “hyung kiss me” alskdjfasldf what is with him

“annyeonghaseyo“ in thAT DEEP VOICE OF HIS BABY OH MAN WHAT A WAY TO COME BACK

his orange smile laskfjdlasdf

him adjusting jeongin’s outfit was so cute hehe

the way he clings onto jisung is super cUTE UGH THEY’RE LIKE ATTACHED BY THE HIP AND IT’S SO CUTE idk if it’s bc they’re a day apart so they’re like “WE’RE TWINS NOW” or bc jisung can speak english apparently? something like that?

i think people forget that he’s more than just a meme and a deep voiced boy? i love watching him practice dancing in the background and like? he’s part of dance line? LET ME SEE HIM DANCE MORE OMG

ASKLDFJSDAFL WHEN HE MESSED UP ON THAT ONE WORD AND MNET HAD TO EDIT IN THE MISSING CHARACTER ASKLDFJSD THAT WAS SO FUNNY YOU WERE SO CLOSE KID

Seungmin

HELLO THIS IS MY UNDERRATED BABY WHO DESERVES THE WORLD bc he’s funny as heck guys why do you not notice this

honestly im gonna say it agaiN: HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONs especially when he has that dumb dazed look askldfjasdf what a boy

messes around with Jeongin in the back

when he cornered jeongin u H 

he writes things in his journal to improve! and he is! 

i really hope he stands out a little bit more when he performs! i hope he’s working on it! but I also like how if you are a seungmin stan, you’ll notice the small things he does when he performs and it’s like a little secret only people who deserve to know, knows and he knows it’s just between him and his fans saklfjsadf

when he decides to be a lil sht like that one time chan and hyunjin was arguing and he’s just like “we’ll take three ramens and a packet of dumplings” or something like that 

can i just say that his clothing style is probably my favorite because i gush about each outfit he wears like all the time?

he’s so into singing and you can see it every time he does and it’s wonderful

Jeongin

WHEN HE WAS CRINGING BECAUSE OF HIS PARENTS: WHAT A MOOD

WHEN HE GUNNED HIMSELF BECAUSE OF JISUNG’S KILLING PART: WHAT A MOOD PT 2

WHEN HE ESCAPED JISUNG’S WRATH AND RAN TO THE OTHER SIDE AND CHEEKILY WAVED AT HIM: WHAT A MOOD PT 3

his escalator impression was hecka nice

OKAY WE BARELY SAW IT BUT LIKE? THE FACT THAT PEOPLE ARE FINALLY PRAISING HIM BECAUSE HE SPENT ALL THOSE TIMES PRACTICING BY HIMSELF TO STRENGTHEN HIS VOICE I’M SO PROUD OF HIM 

this baby always has a smile on his face and it’s the most infectious smile ever and i love him i love him please stay as happy as you can be because you deserve everything and more

*screeches* HIS BANDANNA LOOK IN SCHOOL LIFE KLASDJFASD I LOVE IT SO MUCH

when he was all shy shy with all the girls screaming his name at the busking: tag yourself i was the girls spiritually yelling his name

hAH I ALSO SEE THE BLACKPINK FANBOY IN HIM OHOHO THAT’S SUPER CUTE 

#stray kids #cici's stray thoughts #things i love about stray kids

[felixeslee]

92 q tag

hello this tag is highkey irrelevant now but it’s been in my drafts for ages so !! laskdgjasodigjsaldkgasodigjasdg which is why i wont b tagging anyone bc im so late but !! yeah !! ok !! !!!!!!!!!1111!!! lets !! go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

tagged by @hyuunjins @hyunjinh @straykiz and @dae-hwee from my w1 blog (lmaoo hi pindi this is sarah!! AIddgsdfk if youre aware of this blog but hope its ok if i do it here alskdg ) 

rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. 

🌙 LAST

Drink: the water that I drank this morning!! Aka around 12 hrs ago asdgasdgoij pls stay hydrated kids 

Text Message: i texted my brother if he knew where my dad was lol,,,,,,, sldkjgaosidgj 

Phone Call: CALLED MY BROTHER BC HE WASNT RESPONDING MY TEXTS,,,,, he also didn’t pick up ldskgjsoidgjsldkgsjdg

Song you listened to: Goodbye My Love by Aileeeee <3 lovv 

Time you cried: TODAY ,,,, i was getting super anxious bc i didn’t know where my dad was ??? he was supposed to pick me up but he forgot abt me until like an hr later… sldkgjaosidgj 

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: no :00 lmao i’ve never dated… ever alskdjgaoijsdf 

Kissed someone and regretted it: i havent had my first kiss yet HEH 

Lost someone special: unfortunately, yes :( 

Been depressed: sdgksjadoiglskdfosdijgalskdfaosdigjaksdgoaisdjf idk 

Been drunk and thrown up: lmao i’ve never drank ,,, at all,,,, the smell of alchohol scares me,,,,, evn my little brother has had a sip once and he’s 5 yrs younger LMAO ,,, but im a noob and don’t wanna try sldkgjosidjgs 

🌙 IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: yay yes yeslgkdgsdf

Fallen out of love: i dont think i’ve ever evn been in love…. Sdlgksjdoigj 

Met someone who changed you: yes,,,,,,,,, 

Found out who your true friends are: uhhhh idk aslkdgjaosidjf i honestly can never tell when someone’s being a fake friend so!!!!!! Idk honestly lmao

Found out someone was talking about you: i did ! but it wasn’t for anything bad or anything……… they just criticized me behind my back?? But i agreed w their criticism so alsdkjgaosidgj  

🌙 GENERAL

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: ummm,,,, like 4?? We r mutuals evn though none of them r actually kpop blogs,,,, so i always feel guilty spamminig their aesthetic feed w my screaming tags and annoying shit LMAO but i lov them <3 

Do you have any pets?: NO :”( I WANT A DOGGO THO …. REALLY BAD…..

Do you want to change your name?: uhhh ik so many sarahs its not evn funny and my last name is hella basic too????? Theres 3 ppl that share my first+last name in my school alone….. So maybe i’d change it to my chinese name (yue) ?? also bc it sounds more sophisticated,, and i lov anything that makes me sound smarter than the reality of my dumb self LOL 

What time did you wake up this morning: LOL so my alarm rings at 6:40 but i get out of bed at 7:10 SLDGKJSODIF … and i need to get out of the house by 7:20 lsdkgsdoig 

What were you doing last night: physics and apush :SLDGJOSIDFJ the 2 most dreaded classes UGH

Something you cannot wait for: DINNER .. i love me some gud dinner

Have you ever talked to a person named tom?: thomas jefferson my mAN 

What’s getting on your nerves right now: when it’s so heckin cold i can’t concentrate + i hate taking notes when it’s cold??? Bc then my hands r like half numb and it HURTS WHEN I TAKE NOTES sldkgsoidjf ALSO WHEN I DRAW ,,,,, STIFF FINGERS R THE WORST WHEN DRAWING

Blood type: i think a????????????

Nickname: my most common ones r swisso + salad (i promise these make sense in context LOL ) 

Relationship status: return NullPointerException; //im a cs person,,, dont judge

Zodiac sign: capricorn!

Pronouns: she + her

Favorite show: i dont watch many shows but i love watching a gud studio ghibli movie when im feelin down

College: this QUESTION LSDKGJSODIGJ ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wanna go to college but will any accept me ??!?!

Hair colour: its naturally black but it’s currently dyed ombre from black → brown !!!!!!

Do you have a crush on someone: i havent had a legit crush in 3 yrs lmao……. 

What do you like about yourself: the fact that im a deep sleeper. Idk how light sleepers function omg like wouldn’t u wake up to like,,,,, everything??! :((( that makes me sad bc u hav no idea how much i lov a nice long undisturbed slumber

   🌙 FIRSTS

First surgery: okAY so like i've had 2 procedures done on my eyes lmaooo like (1) when i was a smol beb of like 1 yr old i rolled off my bed aaaannnnddd the corner of my eye hit the edge of the sharp corner of the bedside table!!! and then y1ke$ things got ugly loll (((yes, i wuz dum + clumsy since the day i popped from the womb))) its all stitched up now and i hav a tinie tinie scar aslkdgs okay and (2) there was something weird abt my tearducts LOL so u know when u get sad nd stuff ur nose gets runny and u sniff a lot??? well like that wasn't the case for me bc the passage way from my eyes to my nose was completely blocked off,,,,, which resulted in me lookin like i was full blown cryin like every 2 seconds... like if i kept my eyes open for too long my eyes would get watery and tears would flow out LMAO ,,,, i looked like i just never stopped crying,,, but it was just my eyes were just ALWAYS WATERING sdlgjsdif damn u have no idea after the procedure i was like 'do ppl live like this??? not having to wipe tears every 0.2 sec??? oh my god,,, i am livin THE LIFE' 

First piercing: i hav no piercings!!! Bc stabbing holes thru myself scares me sdlkjgsoidg but i love the way earrings look tho so :///// 

First sport you joined: dance or gymnastics???? I dont rly remember

First vacation: CHINA prob???? 

First pair of sneakers: i think sketchers LMAO ,,, the big thing  

🌙 RIGHT NOW

Eating: nothing!!!!!

I’m about to: do som sketches for my AP art class 

Listening to: my dad sing som old chinese folk stuff behind me LOL 

Want kids: i already adopted all 9 members of stray kids tho ??? idk if im ready for more atm 

Get married: LOL This question just reminded me of smol story from my childhood: so like i used to b rly close w these 3 other kids,,,, one other girl and 2 guys,,, and our parents were all rly tight too,, and our four families would just go camping together and it was rly :’’D fun and so we all made a pact that I would marry one of the guys and the other girl would marry the other guy and we’d all go camping together forever but then KINDERGARTEN HIT,,,, we moved schools and yeah im still rly close w the girl but i miss the 4 of us dkgjsodigjsdlkgsdf LOL 

Career: waterbottle 🌙 

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: eyes? Eh idk i just never rly considered lips ?? LOL 

Hugs or kisses: hugs? I dont hav experience w kisses so sldkgjsoidgjsd yike syikes yikes 

Shorter or taller: TALLER

Troublemaker or hesitant: uhhhhh neither??? Like i just want someone playful + extroverted bc im quite introverted,,,,,,,,,, so if he was hesitant we’d just b super awkward and quiet,,, and i don’t like getting involved w sketchy troublemaker shit either LOL ,,, 

Older or younger: as long as they r in the same school grade level,,,, and i guess 1-2 yrs older is okaY? But lowkey freaks me out if too old 

Romantic or spontaneous: sldkgjsoidfj both? Like i lov someone who is unpredictable and spontaneous,,,, but on the other hand im lowkey a helpless romantic lasdkgjaoisdjf 

Sensitive or loud: both i guess too??? Its good to have someone understanding and sensitive but also someone who knows how to have fun  :) 

Hookup or relationship: hookups,,,,,,,, just dont make sense to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i get attached to someone p easily so even if i dont plan on being attached,,,, i’d probably get attached :(  

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: YIKES no 

Drank hard liquor: nO 

 Lost contacts/glasses: UH I HATE THIS BUT YES….. 

Sex on first date: yikes * (6.02 *10^23) adkgaosidjgaslkdf no thaNK you 

Broken someone’s heart: i dont know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i might’ve but maybe im just not aware ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but on a sidenote i think my old comupter science teacher gets a migrain everytime he sees me LOLLLLLL sdlgjsoidgjsldf 

Been arrested: no,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :0 

Turned someone down: yeah lmao i kinda feel bad tho bc they were all good ppl,,,,  lskjgosidjf but thankfully im still good friends and pretty tight w all of them ~  

🌙 DO YOU BELIEVE

In yourself: ocassionally i try to :’’D

Miracles: lol yes 

Love at first sight: i used to ? but not anymore,,,, like i believe u can be attracted to someone at first sight ?? but i feel like love cannot be attained thru visual contact only asldgjoasidjalsdg

#sarah: tag #LMAO sry for the random stories here nd there #and i wrote this like 2 weeks ago so yeah .l LMAO #thank u all for tagging me i luh u all <333 #lSDKGJOSDIGJSDG

[s0ftkwan]

Yooooo friends to lovers seungkwan would be really nice 😊😊

late post…..again sorry but thank u

seungkwan was a family friend you knew since you were like 4

his mom and yours were college friends who were just so excited about seeing each other again when they moved into your neighborhood

they were even more excited when they learned that their children were the same age!!

matchmaking mother time

basically how you actually became close was because of your moms

the constant playdates, the dinners with the fam, the enrolling in the same school

the force behind your relationship with kwan was your own mom

but that didnt mean you hated it!!

seungkwan was literally an angel

an a n g e l

perhaps the nicest boy you have ever met and will ever meet

has the kindest eyes and the purest heart

this was when boo was a soft spoked child with the shyest smile and the smallest giggle

also your second mother most of the time

one time you scraped your knee from chasing a butterfly

found you crying near the creek behind your house

scolded you with the “i told you so” line like how he scolded cheol in the boomboom dancing game thing u know

he would still pull out one of his hello kitty band-aids that he keeps in case you hurt yourself though

remember, just like a mom: only scolds you because he loves cares about you

in turn, you were seungkwan protector #1

you two were in different classes in first grade and he was so scared because you were his bff!! he was such a shy bean w/o u!!

but you squished his cheeks and told him he’d be fine and if he ever need u, you’d be in the room next door

made him feel 10000x better

so lil kwan goes to class but sits beside the mean boy who is known for stealing pencils and teasing ppl

teased seungkwan for having chubby cheeks and mismatching socks the whole day

when classes were finally dismissed, you caught up with seungkwan who had tears forming in his eyes

he didnt even have to say anything and you were already pulling up the sleeves of your jumper ready to fite

the next day you stormed into seungkwan’s classroom and all the kids looked up like?? who u

and you were like “YAH! KID WHO’S BULLYING MY ANGELIC BFF BOO SEUNGKWAN COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN”

kid almost peed his pants when you forced him to apologize

seungkwan gained so much more confidence in himself and respect for you after that

you two only got closer and closer until high school came along

your dad told you he got a really good job offer in seoul and that he already said yes to it

your family was moving in a week and when you had told seungkwan

boy burst out into tears

“i- *sobs* w-wont m- *cough* miss y-you *chokes* what a-are you t-talking a-bout?“

after a good 2 hours he finally calmed down

helped you pack the whole week

and then ended up crying like that in the airport again

anways

contrary to popular belief, distance didnt create a gap in your friendship with seungkwan

you two definitely called, texted, facetimed, emailed, etc everyday

he texted “fighting!!” to you everyday and would even put in a few more words if he knew you had a big event on that day

you would always call him if he had one to and try to calm him down

and if he didnt answer, you would leave him a voice mail cheering him up

facetiming was your constant thing though

even if you had an important test the next day, whenever you would see his caller id on your screen, you would drop everything and answer it

you would talk about so many things

from popular topics like “taylor swift or katy perry” this is such old news im sorry to the most obscure topic like “are there llamas in the desert??”

you two stayed up just talking to each other one time that you watched the sunrise together through a screen

you could see that he was struggling to keep himself awake as he was humming a song to himself

which then turned into singing

seungkwan was always known for his beautiful voice, but surprisingly you only seemed to truly appreciate it now when he was a hundred miles away from you

it made your heart ache for the boy you grew up with

all you wanted was to see him and tell him how much you love him

…. what

it finally dawned on you that you had fallen in love with your best friend

a few days after that facetime, seungkwan calls you again

he’s screaming half of the time and you’re like ‘boo calm down i cant hear you if im deaf’

he does calm down and excitedly tells you that he’s moving to seoul for college after his graduation!!!

you look at the calendar hanging on the wall and realize that it was his graduation in three days but you couldnt be there ;-(

but you also realize that wOw its been nearly four years since you saw seungkwan?? your best friend?? and crush????

sounds fake but ok

he lets you promise to pick him up in the airport and you tell him of course you’ll be there

fast forward to about a week later

youre at the airport bouncing on the heels of your foot waiting for seungkwan to come out of the arrivals gate

honestly, youre nervous as hell

you havent seen this man in 4 years!!! what if he just looks at you and decides he doesnt want to be your friend anymore?

shove that thought away hoe seungkwan is so loyal to you

your hands get clammy thinking about seeing him DESPITE YOU BEING IN L O V E WITH HIM

youre thinking to yourself ‘homygod this was a mistake i have to leave tAXI WHERE TF IS A TAXI’

but youre too late

because as soon as you know it, you feel a pair of arms wrap around you in a hug

you freeze for a second, finally feeling how fast and hard your heart was beating

“i missed you“

seungkwan’s voice sounded just like honey in your ears

he loosens up just enough for you to turn around and face him

OMG

HES GLOWING

first thing you noticed was that he got soooooo much taller since the last time you saw him

and more handsome as well

his cheeks though

they looked so full and squishy while he was smiling at you

legit me during diamond edge

his eyes crinkled because he was smiling so hard

you just stare at him longer than necessary and his smile gradually disappears and is replaced by a pout

“whats wrong?“

your eyes linger on his lips especially

without thinking

being the absent minded fool you are

you just

dove right in

and kissed him

it was a short peck on the lips, nothing special

just your whole heart exploding but whatever

you quickly pull away when you realized what the frick you just did

you pull yourself away from his arms, which went limp and simply fell beside him

you felt the tears in your eyes realising your mistake

you tried to apologize but

he pulls you back in his arms and just hugs you tightly

“i’ve been wanting to do that since middle school, but looks like you beat me to it“

i love seungkwan so much

#seventeen #seventeen au #seventeen imagines #seventeen imagine #seventeen scenarios #seventeen scenario #boo seungkwan #requests

[toezi]

KCON

Hello friends so I went to KCON this past weekend……… Here’s my story.

HELL ON EARTH i made a cute kcon vlog and made vanessa sit down with me for a kcon chat about the first day but its too long and do i have time to reedit that? No. so here’s my kcon experience my bros.

KCON DAY 1

Wowie so we had like p5 tickets so we kinda just walked around the convention. We sat in on Joan and Edward’s panel for a while and then we stayed for GoToe and Sunny’s panel and GOTOE IS SO CUTEEE I honestly only used my camera to record him he was…. Adorable. But the panel was so quiet and awkward bc of the language barrier and Sunny wasn’t even talking she was just quietly doing his makeup. And there were only… like 30 people there? It was interesting. Then we bought a few albums (Vanessa bought 2 svt albums and a poster and I got Eclipse and we got AL1 for a friend). We went to this photobooth where you could take a picture with a drama background and they had this wall to vote for your fave dramas and leads and INNOCENT DEFENDANT DESERVED BETTER IT HAD HARDLY ANY VOTES. Anyways we were in line for the picture and we chose the Strong Woman background. As we were walking towards the green screen for our turn we were cut by a bunch of Korean businessmen and they turned around and apologized “I’m so sorry. He’s the president of __” and we honestly didn’t hear what company we kinda blacked out from the shock of these men talking to us. Anyways we were at the green screen to take out picture and I motioned to the photographer like “I am going to pick her up like a baby” and his eyes got so big he was like “Y O U?”. now let me tell you, Vanessa is 5’8 and I am 4’8….. He was like “There’s not much time…. How long can you hold?” anyways we took the worst/best picture ever and he was not amused at all lmao he looked so done with us. So we sat down at food street to wait to be picked up and I opened my EXID album to look at it. Two girls were sitting at our table and were like “Did I hear EXID?” so we started talking about the gorls then they asked if we were here to see VIXX (I was wearing a VIXX shirt) and we were like “No, seventeen” and one had an epiphany and said “WAIT i have a seventeen audience pass” AND WE WERE BOUTTA CRY she only had one tho bUT she also had a red carpet pass so I Took svt and vanessa took redcarpet for $20 each (People had been selling them for $200….) AND WE WERE SHAKING SO MUCH it felt so unreal we were both going to SEE SVT and honestly Eclipse it… the bible… a sacred album tbh, blessed. Then we got some FOOD and ended up sitting with these 3 ladies and they liked my pants and BECAUSE THE LIKED MY PANTS they offered us a bunch of free passes!! They had like 2 oh my girl, 4 Astro, 2 SF9, 1 Kard audience passes and this was literally like 20 minutes later we were SHOOK. We took Oh My Girl and gave them to Mely and Vanessa :^) But honestly we went in expecting NOTHING and the day was so crazy Its been a few days and I still can’t believe how kind people are and how lucky we were it all feels like a dream.

KCON DAY 2

I MET KAYLA WHAT A SWEETIE HI KAYLA IF U SEE THIS UR CUTE AND YOUR DRESS WAS CUTE!! ALSO I MET MELY LIKE UUUHHHHHHHHH ITS BEEN 5 YEARS AND VANESSA DIDNT FIGHT ME THANK GOD. SO we didn’t have many workshops we were planning to attend so my Vanessa and I watched Mely and her Vanessa learn how to dance DWC and Mely was talking up how she wanted to do all these dance workshops AND SHE DIDNT EVEN TRY Mely u looked like a limp noodle. Vanessa was better than u. Then Vanessa and I got some food with Kayla and Sophia (HI SOPHIA NICE MEETING U) and we noticed that it was about 12:30 and the line for SVT’s artist engagement was already forming so we waited a bit and ate as we watched that damn line grow. We eventually got in line and waited for an hour in the sun and it was abuse KCON im suing u. But Vanessa waited TWO HOURS in her line for saturday’s red carpet but she’s got more melanin than me. AND we talked to some really nice people in line IDK who ya’ll are but I lvoe you!! Anyways. We were like? In the 3rd row in the audience and there were a few people letting me get in front of them because I’m TINY and one really nice girl who was just a bit taller than me was trying her best to help me get by tall people and she was so sweet I wish I could have thanked her a million more times ;-; So there were like 3 people from a fansite to my left that wouldn’t let me by (of course) and then THESE TWO LADIES who when we asked they just looked down on me and shook their heads AND THEY WERE SO EXTREMELY TALL I WAS EFFENDED. I didn’t tell anybody this but they were playing DWC mv and i actually almost cried bc after all that anticipation I thought I wasn’t even going to be able to see them and I was so hurt. BUT After a few minutes I decided it wasn’t worth being so hot to not even be able to see SVT so I went to the back and watched from the projectors and WOWIE were they beautiful. Everybody was screaming so much /literally/ the only thing I heard was Joshua say “number two!”. But Scoops was so bubbly and had such prominent dimples, Vernon was a sweetie pie, Blond Jun looks better irl, Mingyu: an angel, Jeonghan????? BEAUTIFUL and dainty he really did look like an angel, Joshua is fkn pretty boy nerd he was just happy to be in LA. DK was his sunshine self and Mingyu…… is so cute?? I wish I coulf give much more descriptions on all the boys but I didn’t have a very good view :^( But let me tell you…. Lee Jihoon…………….. The most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on like he honestly made it all worth it he’s absolutely drop dead gorgeous and I felt bliss amongst the chaos he’s truly a walking miracle on this earth. And omg he’s so tiny.

While we waited for Vanessa to finish the red carpet we got some bomb ice cream i loved that man. And OH BOY WAS VANESSA ZAZZED WHEN SHE RETURNED.

And now here are Vanessa’s thoughts about the red carpet: Ok so the red carpet was really GOOD but I was talking to the girls I met while waiting in line we all kind of agreed its kind of not worth it if you’re in the way bc fansites (I think I saw Jihoon’s fansite mintbreeze there). Also it was really cute seeing all the different fans there. I had a VIXX stan standing in front of me and she was just adorable. SF9 were really cute and one of them said “ITS LIT” before they left and I was like wow same. Donghae and I made eye contact for like 1 second and it was so awkward I had to look away. Cosmic girls were ADORABLE and Xuan Yi kept smiling and waving at fans which made all the fangirls scream and that made Xuan Yi smile even more. When VIXX greeted they greeted and all of them bowed except for Leo who had his hands together as if he was praying and I was like wow that is the most Leo thing i’ve ever seen. Girl’s day…. When I saw Minah’s outfit the girl I met while in line offered her hand for emotional support and i took it so fast bc oooooooh man I lost it. Minah kept posing so….. Suggestively like she knew what she was doing. Also I was super gay for Yura. When SVT came out ho boy I almost fell to the floor bc Jun was first and he was fcknin handsome and really tall????? Vernon is a work of art and Seungkwan is an actual baby. Mingyu was gorgeous I legit couldnt take my eyes off him man. I witnessed Wonwoo be a meme. He just looked at Minghao and had his hand on his shoulder, nodded a few times and looked away and Minghao just laughed to himself. Woozi saw some girls next to me who kept going crazy for him and I could tell he tried so hard not to laugh out loud and looked kind of embarrassed or shy about all the fangirling they were doing for a few seconds it was so cute. But tbh out of everyone except for Mingyu and Jun, Woozi kind of stood out to me the most. He was just so?????? Unique looking??? Idk how to explain it but he was beautiful. Chan was almost the last one to leave the stage bc he kept waving at the fans and doing the finger heart thing and he just looked so happy :’)))) Like Jun had to push his arm a little to make him go forward since Chan was the second to last. Also I had my banner up while they were about to leave and I saw Woozi look up a bit when I did and did a half-smile laugh mainly bc of the way I was holding it and doing a :| face ya know what I mean. So he basically laughed at me and it was an honor.

So the concerto. He was a good man. The venue wasn’t as huge as I thought it was going to be so our seats actually felt really close! Preshow: Of course Jun Curryahn was a good man when isn’t he. Then Korean Effects did some BEATBOXING and he was SO GOOD I felt the bass of that man’s voice in my chest. A girl that I do not know the name of came and sang blood sweat and tears to his beatboxing and that was the first time that night that Vanessa turned to me and screamed “IM SO GAY”. The show: Leo and Minah sang a song from Lalaland and it was beautiful. THEN JOSH VERN AND MINGYU came out as the MC’s and I was SHOOK I didn’t expect those boys. I don’t know SF9 but they were good I was amazed they got the stunts! Cosmic Girls were OF COURSE adorable and amazing. Then the screen was showing 17’s intro and we were like “OH SHIT BOY” but THEN it said “special unit performances” and we SCREAMED We didn’t think they would perform unit songs!! It was sad seeing Swimming Fool without Hosh but they did very well those boys. Habit OF COURSE WAS AMAZING I CRY THINKING ABOUT HOW I ACTUALLY HEARD THOSE ANGELS. And OHHHHHHHH BOYYYYYYYYY the day came. As soon as the first notes of Check in played Vanessa and I held on to each other and started screamiING. Check in is oUR JAM OOOOOOHH YEAHH. Then Girls Day performed and they were T H E hottest group there honestly these girls were RUDE. During their stage vanessa informed me 3 more times how gay she is. She was so angry at Minah for doing that^™. Then Cosmic Girls performed I Need U (boy) and SF9 & Cosmic girls performed Sorry Sorry AND GUESS WHO WAS NEXT THE KINGS EUNHAE. Now let me tell you a story. Super Junior was the first group I ever learned and I became friends with Vanessa and Mely because of them. Oppa Oppa? Vanessa and I have been dancing to that for 5 years and u bet we went HARD when they performed that. I’m still so angry that Eunhyuk made us say “LA oppa”. AND THEY PERFORMED I WANNA DANCE I WANTED THEM TO PERFORM IT BUT I DIDNT THINK THEY WOULD SINCE IT WAS A JAPANESE TRACK!! But the whole time they performed I was screaming about how much I hated their hair. Then Vixx performed and I could tell that a lot of fans were there for them (as well as Eunhae) they got the loudest screams. HYUKS ENGLISH WAS SO CUTE I HAD TO HOLD VANESSAS HAND MY BABY BOY. Im really lowkey glad they didn’t perform chained up tho I was blessed that night. And then………...it was SVT’s stage. I had no idea they were the headliners and OH BOY did those boys rock it. There was one VERY RUDE FOCUS ON JIHOON DURING DWC AND I CRIED INTO VANESSAS SHOULDER. I never didn’t think I was going to scream during this concert… but wow did I surprise myself. Even Vanessa was like “WOah”. But SVT performed a super sick remix of Rock and AND they had a little random play dance time which tbh they didn’t even try that hard but then they shot some tshirt cannons and I saw Jihoon rush over for one and honestly I was terrified for my life. He exudes such a different aura on stage that Jihoon really is “El Woozi”. AND HE STANDS WITH ONE HAND ON HIS HIP BOY WHAT IS THAT SASS FOR. During their ment Boo was being his lil Diva self he was so funny and Dino……. A man? He was so handsome I can’t believe. And Minghao got so many screams I was so proud and happy he deserves them all!! Really all the boys Looked amazing and performed so well I could go on for hours. I heard Seungkwan do the Boo airhorn sound effect and i shed a single tear. Dino was so stunningly handsome like??? He really actually does look older than Mingyu he does not look like the youngest at all what are they feeding him. At one point Vernon was like “Wow Josh, I can tell why you hype up your hometown so much” And JOSH gave him THIS LOOK it was so funny he looked offended, disgusted, and sassy I don’t even know who that man is. Good news: I personally caught no signs of butt touching but I /could/ have missed something. But really the whole concert was absolutely amazing, even if you don’t know all the groups the stages are all so great and I think it was just an excellent concert overall. And the next day we dropped off Mely and Vanessa at 11 for their Oh My Girl audience.. That started at 11. Im sorry Chicas but I’m glad u made it in time. ANYWAYS this has been my kcon experience I had a very good time and TBH I would probably consider going again if Seventeen never fkn comes to california.

#long post #i had a lot of fun and I miss my friends :^( #I'm still salty about no cali diamond edge date but this.... this made it a little better #also this is so late I had planned a cute little video but it was 5 minutes too long for yt honestly end my life #anyways #kcon

[lesoleilxjulien]

hotel room, tokyo.

oK ;3; fsnfjsdfnjs i hope you you have a nice trip back home tomorrow then! you really have to travel a lot for your job omg o3o i can see that being nice bc different environments and such!! o3o bUT YO. she's pushing his buttons and he's just "dONT TOUCH ME" like im shaken. i forgot how awful marie can be. JuLIEN MY SON THOUGH OHMYGOD. i can finally spoil that one of the few pictures seen in the dispatch post are them holding hands. and ofc the going in hotel. so there is one thing julien can cri over. IM SO HURT.

OUO thank you! It's nice to go home but lol it's a little perk. I told Beth I was like IM SORRY I DONT FLY THIS MUCH FOR WORK THEY JUST NEED HELP I AM SORRY FOR HIATUS AFTER HIATUS. Also ugh Marie. Julien will legit cry ok. Like he's so sad when dax is all drunk and "hahhh yeah he went home with this pretty little thing. don't be surprised if he looks exhausted in the morning, she was hot af." And Jules is just /strained smile "....o-oh. good to know. goodnight." and he's just in the hotel hallway in pajamas getting a drink from the vending machine ok, he was not expecting this. he just goes back to his room and curls up and cries bc /wow ok maybe I was looking too much into it and he actually doesn't like me in that way lol what did I expect why am I crying in bed/ and tbh had he been drinking he probably would have pulled a Jerome and called Jerome's phone and left drunken voicemails of him crying and blubbering something incoherent

BUT RIIP NNOOO oHMYGOD im SO IN PAIN. but at the same time. all those realizations. Like why IS he crying over the fact that Jerome with a girl. Like. WHY. if they were /just/ very close friends it wouldn't be like this. and omg. pulling a jerome. if he would still be at maries hotel he would feel his phone buzzing in his backpocket. if its during his cab ride back he cant seem to answer the phone, his vocal cords not letting him, nor does his mind. omg he'd listen to it probably the second he wakes up from his broken sleep because of his alarm he didn't turn off. He'd see the many missed calls and left voicemails. He'd swallow loudly and listen quickly becAUSE WHY DID JULIEN CALL HIM? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO HIM? DID MARIE JUST KEEP HIM AWAY FROM HIM? and he'd hear him crying. marie hatred intensifies because he couldn't be there for julien omg and jerome just rushes out of his hotelroom to juliens. he asks idols walking around were he is and then insert them seeing each other wow

TBH. He's devastated at Jerome leaving with a girl but also upset at the fact that he's so hurt over it bc WHY SHOULD HE BE HURT HE SHOULD BE HAPPY JEROME FOUND SOMEONE. And Julien would have great technique when pulling a Jerome ok. He cries into the phone and Jerome's inbox is full and Julien's battery is dead and he fell asleep but woke up a little hungover with puffy eyes. He would instead just clean himself up and throw on his glasses and blame his allergies and sinuses ("Julien it's autumn there are no plants out" "I said it's allergies >>") but he'd prob be holed up in his room until he needs to be at the stadium. Jerome would probably find him as he's opening the door to put the room service tray outside and it's just them looking like shit but looking at each other and Julien just "...." /sniffles and straightens out while looking at Jerome "what's up?" And he's trying so hard to act like he's unbothered, like he didn't just bawl into his cellphone a few hours ago

ohmYGOD. It's such a confusing time because Julien doesn't have his feelings sorted out as clearly as Jerome has. (which only grew after that night let me tell u) and these feelings hit him and omg. bUT the blowing up of Jerome's phone. You don't knOW. how far his heart is up his throat because of the notifications on his phone screen. and ugh. He'd be so panicked. He could almost faint. All this added pressure to his brain wow. But when they see each other, and Jerome is just stood there staring at him, noticing the puffy eyes, the sniffles, staring straight through the façade, before a snap, a switch goes off in his mind that makes him drag the other back inside of his hotelroom, a total disregard of asking for permission and the door isn't even closed yet Jerome is holding his arm maybe a bit too tightly, standing close as he talks "Are you okay? Why did you call me? Did something happen? Tell me." and he'd say that in a string of words without a breath being taken, looking at him so intensely that wOW. He's in a weird place in his mind rn so he's all on edge and that also means on edge with emotional things and CARE INTENSIFIES.

TBH Julien's feelings are all just a gray puddle. He can't even begin to sift through all his emotions he just knows that he needs Jerome in his life. His eyes would go wide, a tiny gasp escaping as Jerome pulls him back inside with the door shutting behind them. Julien would look up at him, tears starting to well up in his eyes a little but he blinks them away and clears his throat. He can't hold Jerome's gaze rn, bc he will prob end up crying again. "Nothing happened. Just got drunk and lonely. Happens all the time." And he'd he'd move to wiggle his arm out of Jerome's grasp, gaze to his feet while clutching his arm. "I'm sorry if I bothered you last night with my calls, I guess you really were busy." mumbling softly. "But you don't have anything to worry about." It's so out of character for him because he's usually the type to just address things and be blunt about it to clear the air but things are always different when it comes to Jerome.

I'm in pAIN. The fact that he isn't telling him directly what is going on is very reminiscent, only with the roles reversed and Jerome gets a taste of how Julien felt when he couldn't admit he was falling in love with him. And Jerome is scared, the string of voicemails left on his phone having him in a panic. There is tension in his jaw again, but not in the way it had been when he was eye to eye with his ex. It's in the way of biting back emotions, seeing his eyes turn teary before his gaze left him. "You don't just cry without a reason when you're drunk and lonely." He says, voice just above a whisper as he looks at him with such a caring look that Julien misses when he looked away. "I should know." Admitting this, he searches for his eyes as he counters Juliens attempts to escape his hold by taking a hold of his other arm as well. "Tell me." He demands but there is a wavering in his voice, allowing his voice to grow softer and a bit more desperate. "Tell me please, I already regretted this night, don't make me regret it more." And he says that without thought, "Tell me why you called. Tell me why you cried." Julien looks at him then, whether its due to himself or due to Jerome cupping his chin and tilting his gaze up. "Tell me why you needed me." oh wow i wanted pain anyways

TBH it's actually their positions in reverse and it's literally the same reason too I'm crying. And Julien hates that Jerome is trying to reason with him about it. "Well I was drunk and alone so I felt lonely," he'd counter. Julien would bite on his lip, blinking to keep his tears from falling even more, and his gaze would fall on the way Jerome's hands grip onto his arms. He just needs a little coaxing to finally let his thoughts escape but he's still stubborn and he shakes his head when Jerome first asks him to tell him. He shakes his head again when Jerome asks him to tell him why he called and cried. And finally the third time Jerome asks him and Julien can turn away his resolve finally crumbles, tears starting to fall and "I was upset that you left with her!" he'd reply, covering his face to try and wipe his eyes "dax told me you went home with her and you didn't pick up and I-" and he'd stop bc he's starting to shake and sob and "I was upset, okay? Is that the answer you were looking for? The answer you wanted?" And ok yeah pain it just hit me heaves

#&&. 2017.10; #&&. verse: canon; #&&. event: triple fantasy;