#im not sure if its good or bad but since i have depression and most of my feelings are despair and shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lunarw0rks · 9 months

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hi! im not sure if you do any requests like this but if you wouldn't mind, with ghost or konig, where the reader is depressed and has suicidal ideations and ghost/konig save them before it's too late? ive gone through somewhat similar things and it would be comforting reading someone be there for them!

A/N: I don't mind requests like this, just read with caution, please! To anon, or anyone reading that has gone through this, you deserve happiness and are loved!! "988" is the nationwide hotline ♡

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° I hope you don't mind, but I chose Ghost since I haven't written for Kӧnig (YET) Italics are Simon's perspective when it's happening at the same time as reader.

Summary: You feel swallowed by depression, but Simon saves you just in time.

Warning(s): depression, talk of suicide, PTSD themes - DO NOT READ IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU!!, established relationship, GN!Reader, no use of y/n, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff at the end

Word Count: 1.5k

꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GHOST MASTERLIST // have a request? ♡¸.•*' | ao3 ver.

In Your Arms // Drabble

The world's weight had been on your shoulders; the constriction on your chest gave you a constant state of crisis, the strain on your heart soon to break it to pieces, and most of all the strain on your mind.

Each waking moment was a gamble of numbness or overdrive. In the instances of numbness, you were withdrawn, coasting your way through meals, laying awake at night with a blank stare. When you were in overdrive, it was like each bad thought physically pilled itself atop you, increasing your irritability and defensiveness.

It was as if the real you were trapped inside somewhere, but you were being overruled by an enclosure of gloom.

Chores, conversations, and the people you loved dearly became a melancholy hassle. You hated every second of it, and most of all hated yourself for behaving like this. At first, you were begging for an out—some savior to snap you out of it.

But now, you felt hopeless—and were making plans to give yourself that out.

You finally had an opportunity, a few hours where you’d have the house to yourself, with Simon out for a few hours. The problem was, gathering the courage. Even though you had the thoughts raining down on you, it was a decision you would never be able to take back.

You were sat in the shared bedroom, on top of the bed you’d just remade. It had been God knows how long by now, and all you could do was stare blankly at the wall ahead, choking back sobs. You looked at his side of the room, seeing the stark contrast between his and yours.

When you thought of him, how he’d be better off this way, it nudged you toward your answer.

Simon noticed your off-balance behavior the day he arrived home. Despite telling you how lovely you looked, he could tell the isolation of his deployment had taken its toll. The bags under your eyes, the dark circles worsening, your sudden change in eating habits—something he greeted like an old friend.

He, of all people, understood the feeling. He just didn’t know how to confront it.

He was never good with his words, or his ability to provide comfort physically; he relied on his crisis training, and most of all, how much he loved you.

When he said he was going out with friends, he was. At first. He found himself sitting in the driveway with a pit in his stomach, his anxieties swallowing him. He was protective, to begin with, but paired with the behavior changes, he was practically trembling at the thought of something horrible happening.

He was white-knuckling the steering wheel, debating on spending his night inside with you. Guilt consumed him for even considering going out anywhere when you’d waited months for him.

His stomach was in knots, twisting and turning, begging him to give in to nausea overtaking him any second. Something was wrong, something was going to happen.

You were fighting yourself again. The thoughts were racing so hard you could swear you heard them buzzing around your head like an angry swarm of wasps, each of them a stinger in your skin.

You reached for the nearest object—the remote—then stood to your feet, sending it plummeting towards the wall in front of you. It shattered the hanging picture frame on impact, sending shards of glass around the bedroom.

It did nothing to silence the thoughts. The sudden rush of fury only fueled them, begging for you to do something more to stop them—the only option you felt you had left.

He had his car door open, gathering his things before he was on his way inside. He’d made his decision, he would rather spend the night with you.

Simon’s trained ear heard the faint shatter of glass, seeing that the upstairs bedroom was the only one lit. There was no hesitation; no second thought to make sure it wasn’t a critter in the garbage can or another household.

He unlocked the door swiftly, a hand hovering over the holster underneath his jacket. The downstairs was clear, nothing askew. He next went up the stairs, leaning in the direction of the bedroom to pick up any sound coming from it.

In his mind, he was fearing the worst, paired with the anxiety he was already having in the car. He’d been here before, with too many people. It couldn’t, no, wouldn’t happen again, not with you.

When the door creaked open, it revealed you, shriveled against the wall with your head in your hands. Beside you, was a broken picture frame, sent flying into pieces around the room. His mind put the pieces together—the irritability, the insomnia, the withdrawn behavior, his gut feeling—all coming together now.

But his worst fears hadn’t come true. You were alive. Alive, and in need of his help. His gut feeling, that painful ache in his stomach when he left, it was right.

His knees dropped to the ground beside you, ignoring the slices forming through his clothes. His entire focus was on you, nothing else.

“Love…” He whispered, grabbing ahold of your knee to make you look his way. When your pooled eyes met him again, he felt like his heart had been ripped in two.

The sight of you, the pain written in your expression. Not physical pain, not heartache, but hopelessness. A specific, known too well by him, expression.

Simon could barely stand it, the person he practically breathed for, fought for, succumbing to their sorry—and he could’ve been too late. The warmth of your flesh under his fingertips, how it shivered, he knew you were still here, still breathing.

He was at a loss for words, even for a man who spoke very little. Angry at himself, not you, for not saying something earlier on. His withdrawal was both a blessing and a curse—a lesson well learned, now that his life with you had flashed before him.

Without a second thought, he scooped you up, setting you gently on the neat bed. He remained standing in front of you, staring down at you with a foggy expression.

“I’m sorry,” You muttered, blinded by the tears.

Simon visibly shook his head, forcing yours into his chest. It wasn’t your fault, and if he could force you to believe that, he would. He didn’t have words to give you, only the comfort of his presence. He just held you; held onto your frame as you wept into his abdomen, soaking through the fabric of his tee.

Tears only teased at his own eyes, but never made it past them. Though internally, he was weeping for you, nearly inconsolable.

It was his job to follow orders, to do his duty. His duty now, was you. He had to be strong for you, always, otherwise he had no purpose left on this Earth.

When the sobs had turned into defeated sniffles, he dropped to his knees to meet your eye level. Him, never one for eye contact, but he couldn’t take his eye off you now.

“I’m here now, I promise.” His deep voice echoed through the room, bouncing off your repines for his comfort.

You were still in shock, how one minute ago you were so close to the edge, but the next he was by your side. The sorrow only subsided for the moment, but with him as a distraction, you knew you had at least one person there for you. One person who understood what you were going through, no doubt about it.

His large hands, the ones stained with the blood of his hands, gently cradling your face until you were lucid enough to give him your full attention. He was there for you, no matter how hard the stubborn thoughts tried to convince you he wasn’t.

They moved from your face, to your neck and arms, then your fingers, searching for any sign of physical injury.

“Let me help you, please…” Simon placed a small kiss on one of the tear droplets streaming down, wiping away the rest with his thumb. His hand went down again, clasping around yours tenderly as he routed you to the shared bathroom.

He grabbed a spare cloth off the rack, wetting it slightly in the sink as he traced it along each tear stain, his other hand on your waist the entire time. He was focused and stiff, but his eyes were gentle.

When he finished, he cupped your face again, touching his lips to yours, then your temple. “You are everything to me, got it?” He whispers against your forehead, eyes still wide, reeling with the shock of nearly losing you.

Your head was in his chest again as one hand remained on your waist, the other holding your head in place. He was savoring this, not taking you for granted for a second.

Deep inside, he was picturing all those months he’d left you alone to feel like this.

How each tear he wiped was a lash of regret. He was going to make up for it from now on. Whether he could help you one on one, or you talk to a professional, he would back you every step of the way.

That was his duty.

#simon riley x reader #mw2 fanfic #mw2 #simon riley #call of duty #task force 141 #ghost mw2 #task force 141 x reader #simon riley fluff #simon riley angst #tw depression

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ivestas · 1 year

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Hello. I saw your post and would you be up for doing a bit on a reader who cares little about themselves but cares deeply for the team?

love deterrence

Summary: You care about the 141 more than yourself to a worrisome degree.

Tags: platonic!141 x soldier!fem!reader, mentally ill reader (implied), headcanon format, reader implied to be young, unedited

Word count: 1.3k

Notes: ANON... THE MOMENT I SAW THIS I DROPPED EVERYTHING. the requests I get r always top tier, BUT THIS IS S +. also my bad for this being price/soap/ghost-centric, theyre the characters im most confident in writing---and, also also, SEND REQUESTS. you guys are so slay w reqs its actually insane

You were a soldier—a good one at that.

Thorough in your assignments, fearless on the field, and reliable. Truly, it’s something any enlister would seek out.

That was Price’s initial thoughts—everyone else’s, really. You liked to get shit done and you were determined to always, always see through a mission’s completion.

It was a trait that, at first, wasn’t noticeable, but it intensified the longer you stayed with the 141.

Many things increased the longer you were with them: you went from formal to friendly, quiet to outspoken, frigid to warm... you grew comfortable. They each took notice in their own way—with Soap being the one to constantly reciprocate and encourage in his own way; despite his loud character, he was subtle in pushing you out of your bubble.

Even Ghost encouraged you... in his own way.

“You look like you wanna say something, spit it out, kid.”

It was hard not to warm up to them, and vice versa; the team was as tightly knit as they come, and you could confidently say that you’d trust your life in their hands...

...but, you’d much rather they worry about you last.

And that was when Ghost was the first to notice your recklessness on the field when it came to them; the moment you heard one of them was in danger, you’d be quick to finish the area in such a careless manner and rush to them—and many, many times he’d berate you about it.

“Kid, when I tell you to stay put, you stay put.”

“But—“

“No fuckin’ ‘buts’, you shut up and listen, understand?!”

“...yes sir.”

But you always disobeyed. At one point, Ghost demanded Price to put you on temporary leave because of how worrisome it was getting—you’d listen to every single order and follow through in quick succession, but the moment it came to your safety, you just..?

And that’s when it clicked to Ghost: you didn’t care. It was their lives over yours, and something about that just pissed him off.

(Maybe it was because he understood the feeling, and he hated knowing that you felt it too. You were young, you shouldn’t feel that way—not now, not ever.)

Price would catch on later around the same time Soap did—although the two certainly weren’t dumb, it’s just the mere fact that they didn’t understand the way Ghost did—they’ve had their mental pitfalls, but not the abject depression that pushes one to feel so little about themselves.

They’d find out much later—you’ve become sneakier in protecting them, something that Ghost still catches from time to time but can’t butt in since you were so damn clever with it—and it was when an enemy tossed a bomb in your and Soap’s direction that your nature dawned on him.

You were quick to toss the bomb back, and not only did you do that, but you shielded him from the blast by throwing yourself onto him despite the fact you were smaller than he.

Luckily, the blast didn’t harm you, only leaving you with a few scrapes and ringing ears.

But, the moment he got back up on his feet, you were fretting.

“You okay, Soap? You’re not hurt, are you—?!”

“Lass, worry about yourself, I’m fine!”

“Are you sure?”

It was like talking to a brick wall: terribly frustrating.

Price, having been a few feet away and had shielded from the blast, saw the spectacle and almost laughed.

It was ridiculous to him—you threw yourself, but you’re worrying about the muscle-bound soldier?

He didn’t like soldiers who tried to play hero—especially soldiers who were hardly grown. Especially soldiers who seemed to lack care for themselves.

So, Price would start sneaking in sentiments of care: complimenting you outside the field, (”You made that, sergeant? Great job, it looks wonderful.”) trying to hear you communicate your own interests, things about you.

Soap already does that, and Ghost soon follows too, though slowly. He wasn’t good at praising—his compliments were always so awkward, no better than his fucked up jokes that he cracked at the worst times.

Price always made sure to give you the best cots, Ghost would give you a portion of his food because...

“I’m watching my weight.”

“What?”

“You heard me, sergeant. I’m watching my weight.”

“...you’re literally a soldier—“

“Just eat the food kid, don’t make me repeat myself.”

Soap was the only direct one—the other two didn’t want to make it uncomfortable for you, but Soap was, well... Soap.

“Look, kid, lass, you need to start lookin’ out for yerself.”

“I am already, don’t worry—“

“You stood in front of Price when you thought there was an enemy sniper.”

“He’s the captain! I gotta protect him!”

“You could’ve just told him—listen, I don’t like using threats, that’s the L.T’s thing, not mine, but if you continue to treat your arse like a meatshield, I’m gonna make sure you’re put on leave again, okay?”

It becomes a struggle after that: you felt overwhelming guilt for feeling guilt, for being ‘selfish’, or feeling guilty for taking risky actions in order to protect them because you know they’ll feel bad.

It’s a perpetual struggle that you didn’t know what to do about, and it’s at the worst time you broke down.

You and Ghost were cleaning up the mess hall since Soap won a bet against him, and when you picked up an extra plate more than Ghost, you began overthinking.

Was this gonna piss off Ghost? Were you going to make him feel bad? Were you doing this for yourself or for him? Why did you do that—should you give him the plate? What should you do? What’s the right thing?

As much as the guys tried to ease your mind, I think they did the opposite: and, at that moment, you couldn’t stop the tears.

That made you even guiltier, especially when Ghost noticed.

But, all he said was “talk.” His voice was uncharacteristically soft, and with that allowance, you spoke.

It was incoherent: a babbling mess of “sorrys” and admissions of guilt for shit he didn’t even know one could feel guilty for—you shook, moments would jump where you would collect yourself for a few seconds before bursting once more.

Taking the dishes from your hands, he set them back on the table and engulfed you in an awkward but strong hug. He didn’t trust himself to say anything right, but he hoped—prayed—that you knew the sentiments.

And you did—you reciprocated immediately, burying your face into his bulletproof vest; heaving, shaking, breaking.

He was then at a crossroads: you were unstable. Guilt like that—this faux selflessness that was really something more tragic—it only leads to one thing, a thing he couldn’t bring himself to name.

So, the same night when he was sure you were asleep, he went straight to Price.

“Sir.”

“Yes, Ghost?”

“The kid—she can’t stay. She needs to see a professional.”

Price sighed. “You don’t think I’m tryin’? Been trying to reach a psychologist—therapist—whomever. Laswell’s said she’s workin’ on it, so we’ll see.”

“But she can’t stay, this type of job, it’s not good for her mind.”

“That’s up to her. You can’t just kick someone out—it’s ain’t that simple.”

Ghost opened his mouth, ready to spit back, but Price cut in, stern. “It’s up to her. I’ll make sure she sees a professional at least bi-weekly, but you can’t force a leave on her.”

Ghost settled with that, though not completely satisfied.

When you eventually do see a professional, you get a little better—you recognize the patterns, the triggers, the reasons. It’s easier to dissemble the mess that your mind is and just understand.

Although you’re a little more careful now, more thoughtful about your own body, there’s always a level of protection you place on them that they know is irremovable: it’s care.

And they reflect that care right back at you, both in and out of the field.

AO3

Masterlist

Requests are open

#modern warfare 2 x reader #modern warfare x reader #mw2 x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #captain price x reader #price x reader #soap x reader #john mctavish x reader

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skatingbi · 5 months

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Yo we out here with some more Ace lives AU but i'll make them little bullet points so I dont have to write a whole essay. Enjoy my little headcanons!

Warning: Theres. So many. Im not sorry tho lmao

Ace joins the strawhats after the time skip, nobody really minds and theyre happy to spend time with luffy's older brother. He quickly becomes best friends with Nami. I just feel it in my soul that they would gossip together.

Both Ace and Luffy suffer from awful PTSD symptoms after Marineford. With Luffy, his crew eventually learn how to help him. With Ace, though, he only has Luffy to lean on for support until the crew get aquanted with him.

Actually, to add onto that bc im a sucker for acesan, Sanji is the first after Luffy to reach out during one of his bad days when even really small triggers can make Ace spiral into a panic attack.

More acesan sorry lmao. Ace is usually either out on the figure head of the sunny looking at the ocean when Luffy isnt occupying that spot, in the gallery when Sanji is working, or just out on the deck laying on the grass. He especially likes being around sanji in the gallery.

Pre timeskip Ace is extremely different than this AU's Ace because yes he's silly and carries an air of confidence with him still, but he's never shirtless around others anymore. For a long while, Ace doesnt leave the ship or pick fights. His confidence is a facade for a long time.

Depression hits ace like a truck in this AU and its only eased with the help of Luffy and Sanji. Chopper also helps the best he can with what he's got. Ace is grateful for this, and eventually his old self starts to emerge more and more. Luffy is there with him the entire time.

Ace has insomnia, but so does Sanji and Zoro. He'll hang out with them during late night hours either on watch with zoro sharing stories or with Sanji talking to him while he's doing prep work or inventory. He'll probably also fend off luffy when his little brother tries to break into the locked fridge lmao

But more funny headcanons!! Im getting depressing here sorry!! Ace will mess around with Luffy and entertain him before meal times by play fighting. Their asses will be duking it out on the deck and Chopper will be all concerned and Zoro and Nami will be like "Siblings." Like thats the most obvious answer in the world.

Tbh, the crew members with any type of sibling or sibling bond will get it. Luffy will deadass try to steal Ace's food and Ace will smack his hand lightly with haki and Luffy will dramatically exclaim how mean his big brother is.

"Ace is so mean! I'll starve to death!" "Yeah, sure, you little menace"

Ace regaining strength over his devil fruit powers by making little shapes out of fire for chopper, luffy, and usopp. Franky and brook join the group to give ace prompts. It becomes a nightly occurance at this point.

The first time he decides to go shirtless in front of the crew, they realize his old tattoo is replaced by scar tissue that covers nearly his entire back. Nobody says anything, but I think Franky and Nami would be really understanding. Also luffy. Luffy would be like "We match! Ace has a cool scar like I do!" and it reassures him but also breaks his heart simultaneously.

Ace eating nearly as much as luffy and Sanji being like "Are you sure youre not blood related? Because youre both gonna run my kitchen dry"

Ace not really having a defined role in the crew and them not really minding it. Ace floats around basically. It kind of fits him more that way since he knows a bit of everything. He'll look at maps with nami to chart a course to the next island, He'll fight alongside zoro and sanji, he'll tell usopp about different ways to use combustion and heat in weapons or ammo, etc.

Ace and nami using the power of their good looks to scam people lmao and ace being able to swindle men and women. Nami is impressed and also jealous.

Luffy growing his hair out so him and Ace match, but luffy apparently has curlier hair than Ace so its just a fluffy mess until usopp caves and teaches them how to actually take care of their hair (luffy does not absorb a single thing and ace now has to help luffy with his hair when it gets as long as his)

Ace noticing one day how zoro looks at luffy and being like "yikes...you got it bad, man" and zoro just being like "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP-" but ace is fucking cackling and now zoro cant be too mad about that. He's still embaressed as fuck about it though.

Expanding on that actually: Ace actually being supportive because he knows how loyal zoro is. He isnt worried. Plus, Luffy is extremely strong and it takes a lot to actually hurt him. So he's like "dude you gotta just tell him straight up he is dense as hell"

Ace the ultimate wingman for zoro. Not luffy, though. That's what Nami is there for. Him an nami are definitely working together and placing bets on when and who asks who out with robin, usopp, sanji, and franky. I wont say what they chose for their bet but robin definitely wins.

BUT luffy, nami, zoro, robin, usopp and franky place bets on Ace and Sanji. Ace is never subtle. He flirts openly and is proud of it. Sanji is very subtle with ace, though. The crew immediately see past his bullshit of trying to be straight. Its painful to watch. Poor sanji is trying so hard to remain closeted but the closet is literally glass. I wont say who betted what as per my last bullet point, but surprisingly zoro won. Everyone (nami) is outraged by this incident. Luffy is here for a good time.

The crew playing card games except they learn sometimes ace cannot handle flammable objects because he will burn them accidentally. Competitive card games are now banned if ace is playing.

Ace is also banned from using his devil fruit powers while sparring on the deck. The poor grass on there has been burned so many times. Nami has kicked his ass over it.

Ace and zoro get really competitive. Not like zoro and sanji, but they'll spar without weapons and at least one of them will leave with a busted lip or eyebrow and a lecture from chopper. Theyre chill though they just forget to hold back on their punches. Ace one time used haki and had to help franky fix the deck afterwards.

#Bro...let ace heal and be happy #i have the power to write and i will use it to make ace heal and be happy #acesan #zolu #theyre mentioned but its still important to tag imo #one piece #portgas d ace #luffy d monkey #op spolier warning #ig lmao #my entire account is a spoiler warning on its own lets be honest #ace lives au #blackleg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #roronoa zoro #cat burglar nami

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gryphis-eyes · 1 year

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⊙ ἀγάπη

" Unable to perceive the shape of You, I find You all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with Your love, It humbles my heart, For You are everywhere. "

⊙ Welcome to this Shape of Water love reading, yes I finaly took my balls and make a love pac hehehe this reading isn’t truly a prediction its more of an assumption about what your ideal partner would be based on your present self but you can technically see this reading as a way to confirm who your next partner would be y’know. It was supposed to be longer but I decided to do it chill since im still a bit rusted lol but I really miss being active on tumblr. For more explaination, the ”core card” is found by additioning the numbers of the cards you picked with Lenormand, for me its a card that show the core/hidden part of a reading but you can use this method in other ways.

◇ Deck used : Rider Waite (only court cards), Lenormand

Masterlist ⊙

🜄 Pile 1

♤ Key, book, ship 【core : coffin】

Court card : king of cups

They seem like someone who’s heart and mind are often clashing but despite it they are quite emotional intelligent, by this I mean that they might be very emotional by nature but they did learn to manage their emotions OR they take an intellectual approach to their feelings, is it a good thing or not ? Well its up to them because this kind of behavior can become toxic for themselves but i got a lot of cards who refer to them being very intelligent. They probably follow a specific philosophy or are into litterature in general, there is this dark academia vibe to them. Very hardworking, full of knowledge but never got enough at the same time, they got bof ”personal intelligence” and academic intelligence, talking to them about various subject must be a great experience for sure. Their intelligence and serious aspect make them quite sensual people might often look at them even if they dont seem to care about other’s look they seem introverted to me. Its like if someone stopped them to compliments them they would be a bit awkward like ”uh? Thank you I guess?”. Very INTP vibe. To be honest I was persuaded that I'll pick the King of Swords to them because of their vibe but not, its the King of cups with the Coffin as the core card so we got someone who have a cold exterior and keep their good side to themselves and to a very close group of people. They have been through tuff situation in their life, would I dare say that they might have experienced depression ? I see them as a melancholic King of cups, imagine an King alone on a cliff looking at the sea, so many thoughts are passing by from a strange theory about a myth to a sad realisation that they are indeed, a hopeless lover. Seems like someone needs to go under that shell to see their true self and heart (but not in a savior way, y’know).

🜄 Pile 2

♤ Mouse, whip, house, 【core ; whip】

Court card : queen of pentacles

Your ideal partner seem to be... interesting for sure, when I took the first cards I was a bit worried but the last one put the pieces togheter. Basically you got someone who ready to risk it all just to have a quiet and comfy life in their house (the house can also symbolise your relationship), listen to Faith from Karen Aoki the lyrics match them but most importantly for the one who get the reference from where the song come from you might understand the reading in a quite twisted way haha. The character who’s listening to this song is a pretty bad person with a very clean and kind exterior. Of course im not saying that your ideal partner is 100% this character but they remind me of him because he goes as far as killing people to have his quiet life but your reading is LESS extreme haha it just reminded me of him a lot in a softer way. Your ideal partner might even had broken many hearts because they know what they worth and what they want in life and in love, probably even in work and we got an other hopeless lover. They are so focused on perfection that sadly, they became pessimistic wether its because things are too slow, they are faaar from their ideal life or just sometimes they ask themselves if they are good enough or ask for too much in the end but it doesn’t last long since they will quickly get a reminder to not make the bar lower. However when they finally get something wether its a person an animal or an object they take extremely good care of ”it” they are very nurturing and caring, probably got a sweet voice (and touch ?). Once they settle its for the long run, I get something that they might need a reminder of not being too possessive with their partner because of course a partner is an other human being you can’t predict everything they would do, its the sad truth even the most loving wife can turn into a backstaber (that’s an exemple of course) they are probably terrified of the idea of being cheated on. Especially since they seek their ideal life it probably attract people with the intention to take and disappear. They need a big hug if you want my opinion they probably got some hard time with family and people while growing up. They need love and they know it.

🜄 Pile 3

♤ Sun, cross, Fox, 【core ; bouquet】

Court card ; King of wands

Alright you got the incarnation of the sun here, a golden person ! Very charismatic (and they know it) they make the room light up and when they smile the world is illuminated (I'll stop give it to their ego now). Your ideal partner’s personality remind me of Giorno from jjba. The big light of the sun is balanced by the cross and the fox who add some shade in a good way. Life have been hard on them and so they had to be a fox to survive, sneak their way into situation maybe even got to have jobs that they hated just to get enough money to escape their nasty place. Despite still having a hard time in life they keep up and seem to be always in all of their glory, they are a true born leader and dont mess around. I think if you try to trick them you'll fall from high ground since they are used to hardship nothing can stop them and their heart of gold will always feed their inner flame ! Like the sun they shine bright but alone, despite being great leaders they also do well alone and seem to value those hermit period. People might always say that they are about to fail or that their situation look doomed but you know what ? Even if its need to have some failed attempt they always end up wining, like I said they are very determined and probably stubborn about their goal. Its someone that you can trust. They got the vibe of the movie Fantastic Mr.Fox, maybe they put a lot of effort into being impressive for ”the public”? Like if someone tell them they can’t do something they will be like ”oh really?” and end up doing this thing better than necessary. Its nice, its amazing but they need some rest and to stop feeling the need to show off all the time haha they know their limit and their worth so they know how to chose their battles, simply because of those things it look like they are always wining.

#tumblr did everything in its power to stop me from posting it #pick a card #gryphis #pick a pile #love pick a card #ideal partner

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shadale-s-safe-space · 5 months

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I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful

Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.

Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle

You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.

I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.

If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.

And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!

In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.

For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha

Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.

#murder drones #murder drones oc #artists on tumblr #digital painting

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despairots · 5 months

Text

#𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄: ANGST

「 satoru gojo x gender neutral! reader 」

GENRE: angst and fluff im feeling evil 2day

CONTENT WARNING: depression, gojo being an unhealthy entp and r! being an unhealthy enfj, sum miscommunication, not sure if this has a happy ending, pstd, issues 😓, established relationship, toxic relationship but its bc theyre both unhealthy and theyre trying to fix it (its not working)

AUTHORS NOTE: i need to see more angst posts of this man cuz im feeling devious 🤤

gojo satoru is insensitive. it shows and it’s true. he’s too egotistical, too stupid, too cocky, and even though he can see through people with his six eyes, his growing ego blinds his eye sight.

some may say it’s just him being him but he’s arrogant and extremely self absorbed, it’s unhealthy. this relationship is unhealthy, you’re both unhealthy.

they both can tear people to shreds with their sarcasm, regardless of the fact that it’s play fighting, some words sting most of the times.

the relationship shouldn’t have lasted this long, you were shocked by how long it’s been since everything started.

you two should’ve broken up a long time ago but the “love” you held for eachother were too strong that parting ways could easily lead eachother back to their beds.

when you sense an argument, the both of you turn into hypocrites. you’re emotionally manipulative and gojo likes rationalizing everything, even your bad habits.

despite how lovely you two actually are, no one’s aware that you both are horrible people, especially to eachother.

you two are the calm before the storm, a good duo to hang out with, terrifying to go against.

miscommunication happens. it’s been like that for while, apologies always happen the next day. they say “they’ll never do it again” but it happens almost every 2 months.

relationship’s have their ups and downs. every time you try to talk it out with gojo, the two of you get argumentative and break eachother down. no matter how hard you two try to work it out, it never works and goes back to being unhealthy.

gojo satoru isn’t a good boyfriend.

neither are you.

#☆. kaz､chatting!#gojo satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #angst #gojo satoru x female reader #gojo satoru x gender neutral reader #gojo satoru x male reader #gojo satoru x reader #unhealthy relationships #toxic relationship #unhealthy entp #unhealthy enfj #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #jjk x reader

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suffarustuffaru · 2 months

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Opinion on Reinhard's dad possibly seeing "the son he never had" on Garfiel? It could totally take that route tbh

It would be a fun dynamic imo

oh anon as a heinkel fan (hes soo terrible but so fascinating and i WANT to see him get better and grow as a person. but also you may have known that since you are asking me this hah) and someone who is quite fond of garf i lovedddd the recent heinkel-garfiel chapters... and LMAO this idea of like. heinkel being a bit soft on garfiel bc yay!! new son replacement!!! is SO FUNNY ive thought about it a little bit. and IT WOULD BE FUN and i think heinkels arc is super interesting bc he kinda hit his rock bottom in like about arc 7-early arc 8 where its like. its post arc 5 astrea drama so shit just got even more bleak for heinkel, hes stuck in dangerous territory and he doesnt believe in himself At All and hes too depressed to really try all that much at anything.

but then GARFIEL comes along and saves heinkel a couple times and garfiel gets hit down but keeps getting right tf up - and that goes against like literally everything heinkel thinks. he doesnt try to be better bc he doesnt think he can ever accomplish it no matter how hard he tries, but garfiel is someone who just WONT stop trying.

and we also see that heinkel learning more about rowan and cecilus and the whole deal with the segmunts has made heinkel go "oh. okay haha maybe im not as far gone as i thought" bc heinkel gets shown another example of a dysfunctional family with an extremely op son and a deadbeat alcoholic dad and theyre a mirror of reinhard and heinkel. except rowan and cecilus are like if reinhard and heinkel werent so miserable about their shit relationship, bc as shitty as heinkels behavior is deep down he still CARES. he cares a lot about his family. he misses reinhard - why else would he need schult to be a replacement? he's still mourning that loss, if you think about it. but rowan is just so batshit that heinkel immediately goes backtracking like "OKAY IM. IM NOT THAT BAD. MAYBE THERES A TINY LITTLE SPECK OF HOPE FOR ME AFTER ALL."

and garfiel is helping to be a catalyst as well bc of his own determination to always keep growing and keep fighting no matter what gets in his way. hes a spunky little kid whos powerful but when faced with opponents stronger than him Refuses To Give Up. thats inspirational i think for heinkel, especially when its not as if hes a shit fighter, dude is just outshadowed by his family and other people around him. he just has to get up and keep trying, so its interesting that heinkel DOES find the courage to try and protect garfiel while garfiel's trying not to die.

like i do think that its heinkel like having this grudging respect for garfiel after the interactions theyve had, also possibly feeling inspired by garfiel and having that tiny bit of hope in him after meeting rowan and interacting with garfiel, and also trying to repay garfiel. bc heinkel treats himself like dirt and gets treated like dirt a lot - im sure his thought process might be "this kid took the time to keep saving me even though im literally worthless and now hes in danger, this is the least i can do". i would be interested if it went the route of like. heinkel having that fatherly instinct rekindled - i think itd be interesting for garfiel as well bc. he IS lacking a father figure, but for heinkel, i think that its clear with how he acts with schult that heinkel does kind of miss having a son and having that sort of love in his life.

we know he DID use to be a good dad, and tbh i always kind of headcanoned that heinkel probably isnt that mean with most kids unless its someone like. you know. subaru. or julius. or reinhard of course. like heinkels not that much of an ass when his life is on the line or when there isnt super personal stakes involved (ie astrea stuff). hes a character that carries a lot of guilt and shame and self-hatred, someone who's spiraled into being the worst version of himself when he used to be bright-eyed and hardworking and full of love despite the weight on his shoulders - i think he would see a very kind and determined and spirited kid like garfiel (and might be reminded of the kid he Used to love) and hope that garfiel doesnt end up like him (ie lost, burnt out, and depressed). we see this sort of behavior a bit with schult too, bc heinkel tries to give schult advice and tries to look after schult a bit in general!! and garfiel's like a better version of heinkel you know? garfiel's a bit abrasive with a quick temper and all but hes extremely well intentioned in just about everything he does. and i think heinkel might have a fondness for all of garfiel's antics at this point T^T

but yes ty for the ask anon !! :o im very interested to see where heinkel and garfiel go from here, bc it looks like heinkel's started some baby steps in his growth!!

#on an off topic note i fucking love the imagery of the garfiel and heinkel kitties on the stage that was SO FUNNY LAJDLF #and then garfiel was like IM NOT A KITTEN IM A TIGER you tell them garfiel!!!! i love u with my whole soul garfiel u silly funky guy!!#rezero #re:zero #heinkel astrea #garfiel tinsel #ask #arc 8 spoilers

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freddief4gb34r · 5 months

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How would the Sawyers comfort someone who’s been in a really bad depressive episode?

ooooh fun one (good to read over when it hits me)

« how the sawyers would comfort someone in a depressive episode (platonic) »

all platonic, no pairings, hurt/comfort, lowercase intended

bubba

more likely to sort of understand? i mean, they don’t get it, but she’s definitely the most empathetic.

would offer to do your makeup or show you fun clothes and masks

however, if he’s working, you’re kinda shit out of luck for any comfort.

you’d have to wait until they were less busy for any sort of sympathy.

because she can’t really speak and also has a bit of a hard time understanding social cues (down syndrome hc goin crazyyy) it might be a while before she picks up on it

i mean eventually he will, and he’ll try to help in the best way they can

but they’d likely be more of a pillow kinda guy for comfort

definitely takes more consideration into how she communicates (if thats the issue)

if its a living person, depending on how close you are, he might kill them, but i doubt it since he lacks bloodlust

however, like i mentioned, they’re a very pillow-person, just there if you need to sit down, hug someone, get it off your chest, see how you feel

if you’re at a point where you’re not showering or taking care of yourself, they’d start leaving your stuff closer (toothbrush, hair brush, expired ibuprofen, etc.)

but otherwise a bit clueless

but would definitely take you to collect flowers and pet the chickens if you’re in need of extra seratonin

nubbins

he’d be the SLOWEST to notice

like im so serious about that

it takes this man a WEEK to realize

“OHHHHHHHHH” when he does

very upfront and straightforward about figuring out and what he thinks

starts out like an annoying little brother about it

“don’t kill yourself lol” type shit

he’d try to be sympathetic for a bit but honestly doesn’t know what to do

he’d just take funny or pretty photos and come offer them to you

“yo do you want these”

he thinks that if it makes him happy it’ll make you happy so expect at least one dead animal, an oddly stalker-esc photo of you, and a single bone

he shows care through gifts that he enjoys and assumes other people will enjoy

but he’d offer to let you walk down roads with him for the sunlight or collect roadkill with him (sucks if ur squeamish)

if you stopped taking care of yourself, he wouldn’t be able to tell

he would just think that you’re like him

which only upsets him a little, because even if his head is in the clouds mostly, he can tell that it’s not very good to have his hygiene/coping habits???

he couldn’t tell you why it’s bad but he knows it’s not good

chop top/bobby

notices a bit quicker than nubbins

not by much, but by enough

also an annoying little shit about it, but sort of knows when to stop

he himself struggles with issues like this

but for the love of all you hold dear do NOT LET HIM ADVISE YOU ON COPING MECHANISMS

this man copes with alcohol, cocaine, weed, and drunk driving

and only one of those are okay

he’d offer to go out drinking with you or drop some acid, please do not do that

it’d be fine to go drinking ONCE but try not to develop his habits

otherwise he’d play a bunch of music in your room and info-dump about bands until you inevitably tell him you need to sleep

but he’d take his music with him so unless you’re okay with that he’d sleep on the floor

starfish position and all

he’s not sure what else to do honestly

but he’s there if you need to talk

he will not respond though (this also applies to nubbins)

if you stopped taking care of yourself, he’d start leaving old (stolen) bleach by your bed because he thinks it smells good

in his brain, item smells good -> person will start smelling good

please don’t allow this, but thank him for the sentiment

drayton

fastest to notice

he himself has them, but powers through them (not healthy dont do this)

because he was suppressed throughout his entire life and his heart was squashed

however, it still beats

he’d try to ease up on the insults and how he tells you to get to work, tries to be less loud and aggressive

but he will not take chores away, sorry, shits gotta get done in this house

he’d feel a bit of pity, but he’d never voice it openly

he’d just look at you very sadly (sad cat moment)

if you stopped caring for yourself, the most he’d do is offer you some food and a hose

why a hose? shower

he kind of knows that it’s important to stay clean when someone’s like this (he does this)

also when he’s using the hose on you, the twins join to run around like it’s a sprinkler, sometimes bubba if they have time

but that’s also a kind of forceful “get in the fucking water” (sorry if u got rabies L)

he’d tell bobby to get you something

too chickenshit to do it himself

also definitely lets you rant about whatever’s bothering you or just how you’re feeling, but if you get redundant and/or repetitive he will go on his old man shit

“back in my day—“

try to leave when that starts

but he’s definitely the most understanding

and he can only offer one thing that might help quickly

a blanket and a hot meal

might say something about it being a hassle when he’s hosing you down though (it’s not he just likes to complain)

also might mumble that you’re slacking but thats on impulse, he knows you’re not trying to

can u tell who my favorite is yet/hj

my apologies if i didn’t cover something, feel free to let me know and i’ll try to adjust accordingly

#the texas chainsaw massacre #texas chainsaw #texas chainsaw 2 #the texas chainsaw massacre 2 #tcm #tcm 2 #tcm drayton #tcm nubbins #tcm choptop #tcm bubba #leatherface #the hitchhiker #chop top sawyer #choptop sawyer #nubbins sawyer #nubbins #drayton sawyer #bubba sawyer

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fire-emblem-drabbles · 9 days

Text

These Violent Desires

Pairing: Yandere! Risotto x reader

Description: You never really had much of a love life. Not for lack of trying on your part, thank you, it just never really happened. Of course, like most people you wanted it: a romance so sweet and comforting it swept you off your feet and left you on cloud nine. But between working full time, being chronically online, and not to mention a depressed mess, you didn't see that happening any time soon. Perhaps its good timing, then, that your ASMR channel starts to take off. Just the distraction you needed from your day to day monotony!

Content Warning: Depression, more depression, minor intrusive thoughts, parasocial behavior, use of female titles (queen, girl) and female reader (will come up more in other parts), I wasn't kidding when I said she chronically online, ask to tag, other parts will different/darker warnings

Rating (fic as a whole): NSFW Rating (Part): SFW

Word Count: 3640

Ao3 Link:

Notes: I am SO excited to bring this to you! You guys remember the original these violent desires? I sure do! As much as I love that fic, that little series I realize... I really went in to it with not a clue of what my end goal was. Not a great way to write a story. With it being two years since then, and me reading a FANTASTIC FIC [waiting for approval to tag] that inspired me to reconsider my whole characters and motivations I bring you... this mess (affectionate). I'm actually really excited to bring this back and im gonna start writing the next part as soon as I finish this draft. Also, note: I suspect tumblr isn't gonna respect all the formatting and fun stuff I did so feel free to check it out on Ao3!

Part: One | Two

Sometimes, you really hated your job.

Hated seeing all the cute, happy couples out on a date night. Hated seeing all the happy families and precious little babies. Hated seeing people be so effortlessly happy and carefree. Hated that you had to pretend to be just as enchanted. It made you bleed with jealously, and want to scream and hide in shame.

Although you did feel bad about your burning envy, you hated that it was somewhat malicious; it was just you wanted that same kind of love, someone you were best friends and lovers with-- who you had been together with for years and knew you as much as you knew yourself. Someone you could be yourself with, through thick and thin…

Thinking about it just made you bitter. These things don’t just pop out of nowhere. Relationships had to be worked for; love didn’t just appear. It had to be made, to be cared for and nurtured. So even if you wanted (cried screamed begged) that fairy tale romance to come of sweep you off your feet, it wouldn’t happen. Not unless you find yourself a prince charming awfully soon… And at your current rate well, it wasn’t likely too happen.

You were notoriously bad at dating and getting close to people. Of course, you tried dating apps and meeting new people through your friends but nothing really seemed to click… It didn’t help that you were incredibly dense, as well; with little insight on how dating even worked in the real world you were left just as clueless (and alone) as you came in.

You had a sinking feeling you knew what it was, too; beyond being dense or clueless. You had been struggling against your depression for the better part of your adult life. You got by with plastic smiles and laughs that didn’t really meet your eyes, living life just on the outside looking in. Maybe, people could tell. You always had felt a little different, anyways. Maybe one day you would get better. Maybe one day, you could find something to be happy for. Someone to be happy with.

Today, however, you have a job to do. Rent to make. Jealousy to stew in while you smile and nod and play the perfect little hostess at work. And then you would come home, numb and tired, and not be able to fall asleep. Just to do it again tomorrow.

Work is the same as usual. You’re the only support staff-- no back server to be seen. The servers are too busy with their tables to help you. Seat the table. Water the guests. Grab them bread. It’s all monotonous, said with a sweet smile and voice high and kind. Wait for the guest to leave. Bus the table. Set it back up. And wait for the next guest. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Its one of those moments in-between, where your gaze is lost far off in the hotel and your thoughts are getting darker by the moment. You wonder if anyone would notice if you just left right now. Walked out into the night, took the wrong bus home, and see what happens where ever you end up.

The shrill sound of the phone ringing catches you out of your stupor. You glance at the phone in surprise, looking down at the screen. Private. Not entirely unusual in your line of work, but just interesting enough. With a gentle hand, you grab the receiver and speak.

“Thank you for calling the Mountaintop Bar and Grill, this is _____ speaking. How may I help you?” Talking on the phone was always easy-- no one could see your not as happy as you sound. Strangely, the line is silent a moment, so you repeat. “Hello, is anyone there?” You wait a few moments again, only hearing faint breathing on the other line if anything. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t hear you. Goodbye.” You hang up the receiver, frowning at the phone before looking at the time.

It was so slow tonight, your surprised to find its nearly time to close. You put up the close sign, take back the last tray and make sure the tables are wiped and reset for the next day. You make careful small talk with your coworkers, make sure that they never think to question what lies beneath the surface of you, and check out with your manager.

You walk slow to your bus, taking the time to put on your earbuds to drown out the world around you. You board the bus, scan your card, and take the same seat you do every time you ride. The same as you always do. The same playlist you always listen to plays, but you don’t really hear it as you open your phone and prepare for the bus ride home.

There was one thing that made you smile, though. Explaining it made you feel kind of silly (mostly strange), but you had a youtube channel. It was kind of small, less than 1000 subscribers really, but the community you built really made you happy. The type of content you created was kind of… niche, to put it nicely. You made asmr videos. Stuff like “Your shy girl friend asks you to spend the night during a big storm (she’s so scared! 🥺🥺)” or “Your roommate asks for your help with her homework (but maybe she wants something more 👀)” or even things a little more raunchy like “You accidentally summon an inexperienced succubus!!! (You Are A Dark Mage Looking For A Familiar)”.

Making them was kind of fun, but what you really enjoyed was your fans. Even if you had never shown your face, (some) of the people in your comments were downright simps. You really only lived for the attention at this point. You even got kind of parasocial with it, talking with some fans in your members only discord.

You scroll through the comments, reading them all and responding to a few while you had the time. Most were sweet, telling you how much they liked your voice and content, others talking about how much you made them blush and giggle. You can’t help but notice you have a new commenter, too. From the looks of things they’ve been following you a while, but have only just now left a comment.

@metal_metalica5

Next time, let me take care of you

It almost feels out of place, with the fully black icon next to it. It’s not like you haven’t had people leaving frankly strange and concerning messages in your comments, but this one rides the line. You wonder who could be behind the comment for a moment. Maybe someone just as depressed and lonely as you, seeking comfort they find in your stories and voice. Someone who just wanted to return the favor. You don’t want to consider anything else, really-- you’d like to think the best of this new commenter.

In the end, you like the comment, smiling to yourself. You check your members discord, seeing the server is a little more abuzz than usual. It was relatively small, with only around 60 people, many of which were lurking themselves. You’re not surprised to find its the same name as the comment left on your most recent video. Your mods and a few members have already greeted them, but you make sure to as well.

work work work today at 9:17 pm

Hi @metal_metalica5!! Thanks for joining the server, and commenting on the latest video! It’s nice to have your support <3

You don’t wait for a reply, checking out your ats and whats happening in all the other channels. Interacting with everyone brings a smile to your face, and you find yourself grinning as you thank the bus driver and get off at your stop. Cool darkness greets you as you walk down the street to your apartment. Things seem okay-- its your weekend, and you think you could finish recording the last bit of your next video.

Safely indoors, you set your coat and purse down, and make haste to change out of your uniform into something more comfortable. Once you have on some comfortable clothing, you take a seat at your desk and open your laptop. Discord pops open there as well, but you minimize the window for now, opening your recording app. You had been teasing your followers about a 1000 subscriber special for a while, but the idea still made you nervous.

Your plan was to do a live stream/face reveal. It would mostly be talking and playing games, but people could donate to you and you would read out their message. You were still working out the logistics, but you suspected that you would breach 1000 soon so you had better hurry.

“You haven’t ate any food today.” You jump a little at the voice beside you.

“Glory.” You scold, looking over to your stand, Glory and Gore. “I’m not hungry, and I’m busy. I’ll eat before I go to bed.” You turn back to the screen, reading over your transcript for any typos and bad wording.

“It’s not a good idea to neglect the needs of your body.” You can see a frown reach her perfect, pretty lips. You always thought it was unfair your stand was prettier than you. You also thought it ironic that the literal ghost of you was better at taking care of you than the real, physical you (that often felt like a ghost). “You’re already suffering from a few vitamin deficiencies, which aren’t helping with your depression and anxiety at all.”

“Why are you worse than a doctor.” Truthfully, she was right. You should take better care of yourself. You knew that if she could, Glory would fix these things for you. She was a healing stand, able to fix any injury or disease from a person. But vitamin D deficiencies, your stupid little brain chemicals being imbalanced and giving you the Big Sad? Nope. Out of her hands, unfortunately. Ironic that you would have a healing stand and suffer from one of the things she couldn’t fix.

“I just want to see you better.” You look to her, even if she doesn’t have eyes to really see you also, she frowns. Funny, how she was also much more logical and level headed than you.

“Fine, fine. I’ll find some food.” Her hand stops you as you reach for your phone, a stern look taking over her. “Finnnnne, no doordash.” You sigh and place your phone in your pocket, and stand to go to your kitchen. Seeing you head that way, Glory de-manifests, content in knowing you would try to find something to eat.

“...Need to go grocery shopping.” You sigh as you look through the fridge. You really didn’t mind her looking after you. You were aware just how stands were manifest of a users soul and desire-- you wanted someone to take care of you, since you seemed to be failing to do it all by yourself. But at this particular moment, you didn’t have that: what you did have was cheese, and butter. And… turning around, yes, you still have some bread, not yet moldy. Grilled cheese dinner, queen.

You’re even lucky enough to find a singular can of tomato soup in your barren cupboards. Hell yeah, that’s a whole meal. And one you can make in less than 10 minutes. Look at you, being all self sufficient. Queen of mental health over here, cooking her own meals.

As you butter bread and let the pan warm on the oven (soup uncondensed but not quite in the microwave yet), you read more discord chats, surprised to find you have multiple ats all in the gen chat (and a few in the mod chat as well). Everyone is abuzz, with “several people typing” showing up on the bottom of the screen. Gen is moving too fast so you move to the mod chat to see whats happened.

The Best Mod (Jax) today at 10:22 pm

holy shit work work work get in here

Ya Boiiii (Niko) today at 10:22

work work work ‼️‼️‼️‼️

work work work today at 10:23

why is everyone going crazy lol whats up

Ya Boiiii (Niko) today at 10:24

smh she don’t even know

The Best Mod (Jax) today at 10:24

you’re over 1000 subs 😤

was like 1010 last I checked

Ya Boiiii (Niko) today at 10: 25

just keeps going up ‼️

work work work today at 10:26

wha

am grilling chesee hold up

You put your phone down, placing the bowl of soup in the microwave and setting the timer with beating heart. Over 1000 subs already? You take a deep breath and place the bread, butter down in the hot pan, placing a generous handful of cheese on top and then the next piece of bread. You pick up your phone barely hearing the sizzling of the bread, instead closing discord to open youtube.

Sure enough, your creator widget shows it: 1013 subscribers, at least a hundred or more than when you last took a look at it. The number was indeed still going up, as when you refresh the page it now reads 1015.

“Where are all these people coming from?” Is all you can wonder. You send a quick “holy shit” to your mods, but quickly return to your food when the beeping microwave calls for your attention.

You pull your soup out quickly, and realize your grilled cheese is starting to burn on the first side and flip it over, relived to see you got to it before it got too bad. Little burnt never hurt anyone anyways. Even as you feel renewed energy and excitement moving through you, you make sure your food is all ready, make sure to turn off the stove top, and fast walk back to your desk with your dinner, eyes quickly going to discord again.

You make sure to send a message in the gen chat, telling everyone thank you and that you’ve seen the good news. Reading back on messages, it seems another popular asmr youtuber (a guy, one you actually follow yourself) had brought you up. He was apparently live streaming (right now), and one of his followers had sent a donation, asking about his thoughts on you. And apparently, he loved your content-- was excited to see what you would do once you hit 1000 followers and not so subtly encouraged his (thousands) of followers to check you out.

work work work today at 10:31 pm

holy fucking shit!?!?! fuckging,,, golden experience likes my content ⁉️⁉️

I can die happy now

im disceased

Ya Boiiii (Niko) today at 10:31 pm

nooo don’t die

work work work today at 10:32

joining his stream rn

gonna try to lurk but also I wanna thank him 🥺

The Best Mod (Jax) today at 10:32

im already in lol

I’ll tell everyone you’re here :)

work work work today at 10:33

wait nOOO

You tab out over to youtube to where the stream has finally loaded, to see Mr. Golden Experience ASMR himself smiling.

“Oh, look, it seems our new favorite has joined us. Hello, Gore Gone Wild.” He smiles, sweet and serene at the camera and you feel your heart pound a little.

@Gore_Gone_Wild

omg hiii!! My mod told me you gave me a little shout out, thank you so much :D

You try so hard to be normal. All the sudden, you’re the fan interacting with your fav. Your dinner goes ignored, soup and grilled cheese cooling as you focus your efforts on Golden Experience's stream.

“It was a donation from your mod that brought the topic up.” He laughs soft and sweet. When you look to the top donations of the stream, you can see Niko’s youtube (@onionthepaladin) at on the top of the banner, having donated $100.

@Gore_Gone_Wild

omggg that’s… literally so sweet of him. And you!! I’m also a big fan of yours <3

That’s it, you have to kill Niko. You have to travel across the united states, kill your mod, and make sure he never pulls this shit again. You suddenly feel so embarrassed, so light and free.

“Don’t be too rough with him.” Another sweet smile reaches him. God, he’s literally so pretty and perfect. Like, the opposite of you really. How could someone so put together like anything about you…? Oh yeah, you were hiding behind a screen. That’s why. Super easy to keep up the charade… “Truth be told, I’ve been your fan for a while. I was also excited to see what you would do for 1000 followers.” You smile wide as his chat echos his excitement.

@Gore_Gone_Wild

welll… since its you… I guess I can let you in on my secret :) but only you! Not even my followers know yet so… I’ll dm you :3c

You feel so giddy when you see his eyes widen, see his smile widen a hair.

“Well, I look forward to seeing it.” He chuckles again, and returns to the conversation from before your arrival. His stream is nice noise to eat your now cold dinner to, as your heart hammers a bit when hitting up his dms on twitter. You send him a cute little message, telling him your plans: how you wanted to do your first live stream, reveal your place, and just chill with your followers, playing some games and taking read requests for him. But if he had suggestions, or tips for live streams, you would love to hear them.

You hear a buzz on stream, and watch as Golden Experience picks up his phone. “Looks like miss Gore just dmed me.” He smiles as his eyes scan your text. “I don’t want to seem desperate chat, should I wait to respond?” You watch as chat moves a little faster, some people spamming “simp”, others saying “she’s still here lol”. A few people leave actual advice, to which he reads a few aloud.

“Hmm, you’re right, shouldn’t leave a lady waiting.” He winks at his face cam and you nearly die. You’re gonna have to watch something else, now. Quickly leaving his stream, you take a moment to simply breath at your sub feed, heart pounding fast. You hadn’t been this excited in forever… Guess now it was time to tell your followers for real what what happening.

It’s actually your weekend, you have the next three days off… So with that in mind you go about telling everyone your plans. Your mods (Jax, Nico, and Sammy, whose probably already sleeping), already know, but after Golden Experience, you tell your discord your plans to host the live stream in the next two days.

Then, take a teasing little picture of your setup, with just a little plushie sitting next to your screen. “Excited to see you all this friday :3 Here’s to 1000!” is all the post itself says, but you make a live stream reminder on your page just so everyone knows what happening. You’re so excited you refresh all the pages, seeing at the night owls commenting on your posts with excitement. Now, you aren’t surprised to see a familiar name among them.

First comment on your youtube belongs to you newest member, @metal_metalica5, with another kind of ominous, but not quite out of line comment that simply reads “I know you’re perfect already, bella.” Second comment belongs to Golden Experience himself, commenting from his own account that says “Look forward to seeing you! I’m happy to see you’ve grown so much”.

You tear yourself away from your phone screen, and have to close your computer not to end up just replying to comments on that. You steel yourself to take your dishes to the sink, and actually wash them, too excited by the nights events to even realize that you were. You’re even too excited to review your writing, or record it for that matter, so in the end you end up pacing around in your nerves.

Pacing only wears you down so much, so you decide to lay down with your phone pulled close to your face. Curiosity gets the better of you as you look to the comments again. You click on the profile of @metal_metalica5, curious to see if he has anything on there. He hasn’t posted anything to youtube, nor has he created any playlists for that matter. With the pure black icon, it seems like he doesn’t want anyone to really notice or see him.

You recall he joined your discord as well, and open that up (to tell everyone goodnight, you convince yourself), only to find yourself scrolling through your members to find him offline, with the same blank icon and user name. He has no server profile, no custom status, no banner nor nitro. But… interestingly, it says he joined discord today: member since April 3 rd , 2024, joined April 3 rd , 2024. He must have created discord just to join your server. Perhaps even, he created a youtube account just to comment on your stuff. The idea has you smiling. That someone liked what you created so much, they had to subscribe. Wanted to be closer to you. Were interested in getting to know you beyond what you posted…

Soon, you grow too tired to keep your phone up. Your eyes slowly close, phone cuddled to your chest. Tonight, you sleep tight, content and happy with your online life. When you woke up, it would be the same, gray world as the one you woke to today, but it would be different, better-- because there was something to look forward to. Something, if even for just a little while, to stave off the monotony and sadness and jealousy. For a little while, you could be Gore_Gone_Wild, and everyone will adore you.

Oh, and you'll have to read that DM Golden Experience sent you too! You got so excited you nearly forgot you messaged him.

#yandere #risotto x reader #yandere risotto #yandere risotto x reader #risotto nero #jjba #jjba part 5 #im so so so excited!!!#had to edit this like 5 times bc of accidentally tagging random blogs #so if you see random links in this thats why #they should redirect to something cute now :)

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freakurodani · 10 months

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top 5 haikyuu moments !! (can be particular scenes or episodes or arcs) :D

OKAY!!! so i had to gather visuals for this one bc i have many feelings about this!! I went for scenes that no matter how many times i watch, they never lose their magic for me, no matter that i know theyre coming, it still takes my breath away and makes me roll around with delight, these most of these i feel like are probably pretty obvious ones, they were meant to be impactful but ough, if they dont tear me up in the best way

SO IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

I mean, what can i say??? what IS there to say?? theyve been teammates for a few weeks at this point, but hinata has given all his trust to kageyama and in turn, kageyama promised to use it to its full potential. its also a promise for their rivalry!! like, okay okay okay think about it, with the context we have with Kazuyo, kageyama has *already* decided that hinata is going to be his someone better! he sees it innately and he wants to draw it out of him, and he's, hes trying to be *hinatas* someone better too!! do u understand *shakes you* do u see what i mean!!! i mean, im sure u do, im definitely not the first person to go insane about this and ppl have probably also said it in a way thats smarter than me but just, ough

its,,,, its,,, the acceptance of it all,,, i just think about how *alone* kageyama must have felt after his grandfather passed, we see and know that hes not good at connecting with people. hes bad at communicating and hes sensitive and he's scared of getting complacent. like, the all youth camp arc and atsumu calling him a goody-two-shoes is kageyama struggling with how he is changing, how hes trying to incorporate the influences he's gotten from his betters, and he cherishes it, but he's also felt like the advice he'd been given didn't also mesh with certain parts of himself. or, thats how i read into it, anyway. he tries so *hard* to be what ppl need him to be, and he's *so scared* of being rejected again. and this is hinata (and the rest of karasuno) telling him "HEY! we like you! we think you're smart and you dont have to shoulder connection all on your own! let us help you connect with us in a way where you feel comfy too :)" and then they talk about how they want communication! and it works!! and i just *rips into a pillow with my teeth*

HINATA'S PERFECT RECEIVE!!!!! so the inarizaki match is probably my favorite?? there are so many good moments but *this?* you wanna see me go insane? do you want smth thatll make me tear up? every time!! its just!!! a beautiful culmination of all of hinatas hard work that he's put into during the year! its his change of mindset! its his growth!! he's fallen a level deeper in love with volleyball and ive fallen a level deeper in love with his character

halo around the moon <3 Tsukki's block, his hard work, his character arc and development and everything is just *chefs kiss*. i remember the first time i watched the show, i,, *hated* tsukishima, and i think we definitely arent supposed to like him at first, but GOD does that turn around!! and this moment just feels so *earned* and *epic* and in the end HE STILL ISNT SATISFIED!!!!! he STILL wanted more!!! this point was worth 100 god fucking damn!!

im talking about the inarizaki match again!! but this time with a focus on Tanaka, who kind of struggled with this match! he was in a low place during it, felt stagnated and lame. Tanaka, as a character, i would say is best characterized by his mental fortitude and stability, funny enough. He's wild, but i think part of his visual design lends that as his base (since he's often compared to buddhas/monks). But in this match, we get more depth, we see him falter and struggle! it takes more than just a slap to his cheeks to get better (tho tsukishima does point out that he gets out of his depression pretty fast) but like, tanaka uses meaningful cognition to break his rut, and its also just like, advice that I've seen used for stuff like any kind of creative block as well. The visual during the animation, he's climbing up the stairs, he's slowing down, he's coming face to face with a canyon, a plateau. He sees two options, give in, or push forward and he picks "the cooler" one, and struggles forward, forces himself ahead! and kageyama backs him up too, by not letting him back down, assuring him that his usefulness hasnt reached its end and AUGH I LOVE A TEAM YALL

okay thank u so much for the excuse to ramble about haikyuu moments that mean everything to me <33333

#conspiracy lvl: ask #hq!!#kageyama tobio #hinata shoyo #tanaka ryuunosuke #tsukishima kei #long post #haikyuu!!#haikyuu meta

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auxilioooo · 2 months

Text

ok i just watched episode seven of moon girl season two and i started crying CUZ GOD DAMN YOU DIDNT HAVE TO ATTACK ME LIKE THAT

SPOILERS AHEAD

I’ve suffered from bad anxiety since i was a kid. i’ve always been scared to talk to kids my age and i’ve always felt i needed to be perfect in school. I’m the kid who if they get a B they start freaking out. Then in 7th grade when i was already struggling with 7th Accelerated Math COVID hit and I had to do everything online. My middle school didn’t handle it well and i was so scared of failing and the fact that i couldn’t talk to my teacher about not understanding the work that I just didn’t do any of it (counter productive i know). I ended up with a ton of zeros and my mom got mad. I ended up fixing it but that didn’t help my anxiety at all.

In high school (grades 9-12 for non-americans) all the pressure got worse and everything was a lot more stressful. 9th grade I was the only freshman in my math class and I had a horrible english teacher, 10th I was in my yearbook class (that’s an entire shit show of its own that, to summarize, made me super depressed and the reason i’m in therapy) and now Im in AP Physics. The test are super hard and stressful especially when i don’t understand most of it. I also was taking 3 other AP classes and i had to drop one. Because of that my anxiety got so bad that i started taking medication which has been super helpful and made school a lot more bearable.

Anyways when Lunella started talking about how she needs to be perfect and have all this pressure put on her by Dr. Ojo, I really related to all of that. Plus the visuals of representing it is exactly what i think and how it feels when i get those waves of anxiety. The part that made me start crying is when Mimi and Casey check on Lunella and Casey ask what’s happening and Mimi just goes “she’s having a panic attack”. Just hearing those words come out of the screen just meant so much to me. Just thinking of all the little girls, even then the little kids, who have felt the same and watching this showing that even some of the most powerful people have felt the same way. To show people what goes on to the “smart kids” when the expectations finally catch up with them and are told “you’re not good enough you need to be better”. To show that it’s normal to feel these feelings and also to show how to handle it. Making sure you have a good support group and even listening to music that calms you down (Here Comes a Thought from Steven Universe helps me). I’m just so happy to watch a show and just think “i’m not the only one. it’s ok that i feel this way”.

Anyways sorry for my ramble and GO WATCH MOON GIRL AND DEVIL DINOSAUR SEASON TWO BABY!!!!

#marvel #anxiety #panic attack #disney tva #moon girl and devil dinosaur #moon girl #lunella lafayette #moon girl magic #moongirl lunella #casey calderon #mimi #mimi moongirl #devil #devil dinosaur #moon girl stop personally attacking me #sorry for my rant

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wangxianficfinder · 2 years

Text

Fic Finder

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1. I’m looking for a fic that takes place post canon, and its Xicheng. From what I remember LXC is doing horrible in seclusion and JC secretly hides his bell when he visits one day. They become friends while LXC is still in seclusion and one day, after LXC precious gift from his parents break, JC goes missing. JL tracks JC through his clarity bell but finds it at LXC’s place. LXC goes on a journey to find JC and finds him injured but with a replacement for his precious gift he got from his father. A very clear but beautiful crystal I think? That’s all I remember. @youkaimeimi

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2. Hi! i hope you're having a great day!! this blog is everything to me and it makes my day and makes finding fics so easy!! thank you for the hard work ^^ I'm trying to find a wangxian time travel fic. i don't remember much except that there was this one scene in the library. wwx travelled back in time and was with lwj and thought he was the only one who travelled back until they're in the library and lwj asks wwx about lsz and wwx is shocked that lwj is from the future. thank you <3

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3. Hi!! I had a request for the next fic finder if you don't mind! I don't remember a lot that happened, but it was some kind of au fix it. The scene I remember the most was the banquet after the end of the war at nightless city. Jin guangyao greets lan xichen and acts really personable to him and lxc is actually really uncomfortable from it. I think it had a nielan side pairing but jgy didn't know or something? And so thought he had a chance with lxc? I think wwx comes to lxc's rescue at some point too during one of their conversations. I'm pretty sure the fic was complete and mainly wangxian but thats what I remember most about it 😅 any help finding it would be fantastic!

FOUND? unstoppable by netrixie (T, 149k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Wolf-shifter WWX, Shapeshifters, Slow burn, Unreliable Narrator) sounds like a scene at the end

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4. hello!! for the next fic finder, i lost this fic in the middle of my bookmarks and can't find it anywhere, it's a time travel fic, wangxian both come to the past and get together early. the thing is when the betrothal letter is sent, jc and jfm get suspicious, bc wwx has been different since "meeting" lwj, and they think lwj is doing something to him. the thing is wwx is way older, so he doesn't go around making trouble as much, and spend his time with lwj. jc and jfm still dont believe it but alow the betrothal.

hi! i'm the #4 anon from the last fic finder, and sadly, its not that one(altough ive read "here with me", and its very good). the one im looking for its in the cloud recess study arc. hope this helps!!

NOT FOUND Here With Me by iamwish (T, 50k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, wwx turns this into a no war!au, Canon-Typical Violence, Period-Typical Homophobia, Bad Parent YZY, POV Multiple, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, WWX Has PTSD, and also depression sometimes)

FOUND? And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, Time travel, Hurt/comfort, Canon typical violence, Getting together, Everybody loves/Nobody dies)

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5. Hello everybody,

I've been looking desperately for 2 fics for some weeks now. A) The first one is modern AU. Wei ying is a nurse and when he drives to work he listens to lwj's radioprogram about classical music. They call a lot on the radio and i vividly remember wwx drivi g past an owl statue that looks like a dick. B) The second one is an areanged marriage au. It has something about courtshiprules in the title i think. Its also an abo. I think wwx was some kind of general and is married of to lwj bc jgs thi ks he'q to strong? Im not sure. Thank you for the hard work! @follyfallenflapdragon

Hello! Nr5 here! Thank you for finding the 1st one! That was what i was looking for! About the second one, i remember a scene in which wwx and lwj are spending a heat together and have locked thelselves inside their house. One moment, a servant is bringing them food and lwj almosy kills him for coming to close. Jiang yanli tries next bc she is worried wwx is not eating and she is allowed to come closer. I hope this ringes a bell in somebody's mind! Thank you!

5A)

FOUND! Cantabile by MonocerosRex for captain_apostrophe (G, 2k, WangXian, Modern AU, Radio host LWJ, Fluff, Meet-Cute, Dialogue only, Swearing, Humor)

5B)

FOUND! Three Letters, Six Etiquettes by 2501987 (M, 24k, WangXian, XiCheng, Royalty AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Arranged Marriage, Angst and Humor, Idiots in Love, Eventual Romance, BAMF JYL, Family Feels, Awkward First Times, Bad Sex, Wedding Night, Domestic Fluff)

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6. hello dear mods and lifesavers!

thank you endlessly for the wonderful public service you're doing. i was wondering if you knew of this fic: modern au, where wwx, who disappeared and left everyone, randomly runs into nhs, gets drunk at the party they're at, and egged on by nhs drunk dials lwj to tell him he's the love of his life. after this wwx and lwj start talking a lot on the phone, and eventually wwx texts lwj his address so lwj can come.

other random details i can remember: nhs is married to jiang cheng and probably orchestrated this whole thing, wwx is friends with the wens now and works in a sex shop (i think together with wen ning?). thank you so much! @teresis

FOUND! Love Don't Belong To Me by airinshaw (E, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Kissing, Intercrural Sex, Light Angst, Happy Ending, PTSD, Panic Attack, WWX's canonical self-esteem issues, Canonical Child Abuse, not as dark as the tags imply, Past Relationships mention)

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7. Hi mods! Do any of you remember that fic where lwj accidentally transfers back into time and everyone is "omg its QHJ" and wwx is like "Lan Zhan!!" I've already checked the time travel tag and I don't see it there....

FOUND? 💖From the Future for the Past by friedchickenlord (G, 27k, wangxian, time travel, fix-it, fluff & humor, happy ending, denial, pining, bullying ur younger self is in fact ok)

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8. hello! I'm looking for this fic where wwx is a footballer and lwj is a ballerina and wwx's footballl team comes to lwj's ballet school to learn ballet? I found the fic for the first time from you guys too. so i think you might know it.. Thank you in advance and keep up your great work!! <3

FOUND? varied my velocities by fantasiavii (E, 58k, WangXian, Modern AU, Ballerina LWJ, Football/Soccer player WWX, Enemies to Lovers, Top WWX/Bottom LWJ, Dom WWX, Angst with a happy ending, Internalized homophobia)

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9. Y’all I’m legit losing my mind trying to find this fic. It’s post canon and WWX is on a night hunt and the Lans come to help him. I think WWX was being haunted? Anyway the major point is that he had this box of letters he’d been writing and the ghosts basically sensed that he was lonely so they wouldn’t leave him. The juniors end up getting into the box at some point. I’m afraid it might’ve been deleted, but if anyone remembers it or has it downloaded I hope they’ll respond. Right now it feels like I made the whole thing up 😭

FOUND? the dock of the bay by Haysel deleted, but available on the Wayback Machine; the January 26, 2021 capture has all download formats except html

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10. Hello! I’ve been trying to find a specific fic I closed before saving, but I understand if you can’t find it since my memory is shoddy at the best of times. The fic was set during the sunshot campaign. Jiang Cheng was angry at Wei Wuxian and hit him with Zidian, and because wwx didn’t have his golden core anymore it stopped his heart/hurt him very badly. Wwx doesn’t die, but his core being gone Might have been revealed? That’s all the information I remember. Thank you for the help!

FOUND? these colours fade for you only by doodlebutt (T, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn)

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11. Hiya im looking for a fic that is untamed x among cross over where wei ying give his anti imposter healing meds to his brother and get infected and when they land lan zhan starts studying him, all i really remember is tentacles grow from his chest and he later names them and at the end lan zhan turns into an imposter with a long tongue. @trisketandpadquackie

FOUND! no innocent among us by ficwriter103, frostferox, lovingryuu (T, 72k, WangXian, Space AU, Tentacle Sex, Tentacle rape, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Body Horror, Alien Biology, Explicit Sexual Content, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Suicide Attempt, Switch WangXian)

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12. I'm looking for a fic I remember only one scene. It's a modern fic and there was a scene where LWJ & WWX were dining together. The food was very spicy and LWJ had a strong reaction for it, got like really overwhelmed.

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13. L-xiansheng and C-guniang? Perhaps someone out there can help me identify a fic (and this would’ve been a fairly early novel-compliant and post-canon one, circa 2019/20) in which WWX, under LWJ’s rigorous (and anxious) supervision, brings himself to the point of clinical death to experience what Inquiry sounds like.

FOUND! Inquiry, Reprise by EHyde (G, 1k, WangXian, Fluff)

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14. i lost a mdzs fic. All I remember is the wwx ended up in nie sect thinking he was a prisoner and jgy stole his letters and threatened jyl. He gets no letters so he thinks everyone he loved abandoned him.. Equally cos he's not replying they thing he's gone to the dark side. NHS gives him books ect and doesn't know wwx thinks he's not a guest. Tia if u know the name @eeeeeeeeeeeeagle

FOUND? Always walked a very thin line by tucuxi (T, 22k, WangXian, NHS & WWX, JYL & WWX, Depression, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Self-Worth Issues, Slow Burn, Oblivious WWX, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has No Golden Core, Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness)

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15. Hello mojo, I was hoping you could help me find a fic. I dont remember the name and I have been looking for hours! All I remember is Wei Ying is about 5 years old, trying to save his parents but discover/witness Yu Ziyuan killing them. His uncle (on his father side), find him and take him to his kingdom/empire and explain about him being his fathers brother. I remember his father was taken away from home when they were attack and lost his memory. And he saves Madam Lan, (Time-travel, alte-univ)? @liznara

FOUND? Young Master Hua Ying by Mikaalpaca (T, 50k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time travel, Not Jiang Friendly, Immortal Cultivatiors, Massacre, Child murder, Child abuse, Revenge, Anger and Hatred)

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16. Hi, Thank you so much for this blog it js. Alofe saver! I am looking for a fic where Lan Qiren and Jin Zuxian visit the burial mounds and here the Wens stories from the camp. They confront the Jins about it and I know Jin Zixan forgets he branded some of the Wens. I cannot remember what it is called. Thank you

FOUND? ❤️Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, mojo's post) chapter 13 is where lqr and jzx are listening to the wen if it helps

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17. Hello! I’m trying to find this fix where some rogue cultivators (I think) captures lwj and brings him to burial mounds as a gift for wax to get his favor? And they have lwj’s head covered so wax doesn’t know it’s him and after he finds out he goes crazy on those rogues. It wasn’t a long fic from what I remember. Also if you can can you reccomend more fics of the same kind where wwx goes crazy because someone hurt lwj? 😭

FOUND! I’m 99% sure this one is How to piss off the Yiling Laozu in one simple step! by Eicas (T, 3k, wangxian, kidnapping, hurt/comfort, pre-slash, hurt LWJ, mojo's bookmark)

SIMILAR Crimson Scars by ShootMeDead (T, 1k, wangxian, post-canon, protective WWX, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, hurt/comfort, hurt LWJ, fluff & angst)

SIMILAR the field meets the wood by astronicht (T, 7k, WangXian, Post-Canon, BAMF WWX, slight whump, Ritualistic, Self Harm, Canon Era, Tang Dynasty style, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, salt, economics, [Podfic] the field meets the wood by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona), [podfic] the field meets the wood by jellyfishfire, mojo's bookmark)

SIMILAR green flame, black flute, red ribbon by Fleetling (T, 3k, pre-wangxian, LJY pov, BAMF WWX, people will die violently for kidnapping the babies, hurt/comfort)

silk threads and precious metal by Sevidri (M, 5k, wangxian, hurt lan wangji, BAMF yiling lazou wei wuxian, mojo's post)

thrice as cruel by iliacquer (E, 15k, WIP, WangXian, BDSM, Switch WangXian, Kushiel's Legacy Fusion, Dubious Consent, Sex Work Courtesan LWJ, Submissive WWX, Dominant LWJ, Exhibitionism, Public Sex, Consensual Non-Consent, Canon-Typical Violence) warrior monk WWX saves courtesan LWJ from some abusive clients in Chapter 2

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18. Hello! So um I've been looking for this fic for the past 2 months and I've been through every relavant tag I could think of. If I remember correctly, it was a WIP. It is a canon-divergence after the fall of Lotus Pier. JC strangles WWX and leaves him there in the field. LWJ arrives and finds JC and JYL and asks them where is WWX. JC goes into hysterics and starts screaming about how WWX is dead because he killed him. LWJ goes to the field and has to conduct Inquiry to find WWX. There is a line that where WWX's spirit says his body is two li away. LWJ finds WWX's body and brings him back to the inn but orders all of the Lan disciples to not tell JC and to never let JC near WWX's room. But LWJ does inform JYL that WWX is alive though.

Thank you for all the help that you do, I've scrolled through the entirety of this blog for fics to read and am currently on my second re-scroll, haha <3

FOUND? a star called sun by thelastdboy (E, 65k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Heavy Angst, Self-Worth issues, Amputation, Situational Mutism, Slow burn, Angst with a happy ending)

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19. Looking for a fic which was a WWX wasn’t recognised au or something similar where LWJ says ‘I was nothing to him’ or something along those lines. Can’t remember if he was drunk or not.

afdjfld seems like I was mixing the fics together 😂😂😂 the first fic definitely has the scene but the tavern one is definitely from the second fic

hi! this isn't very helpful, but for #19 - i would like to ask op if these details also apply to the fic? - rogue cultivator 'wei zhan' who wears grey rescues mxy!wwx without recognizing him, and wwx decides to tag along, to lwj's irritation. wwx asks if he took yllz's name out of any relation/attachment to him and lwj says '^i was nothing to him'. wwx outs himself after they were attacked by a yao or smth, and lwj is hurt for a little.

FOUND! all i want is nothing more (than to hear you knocking at my door) by jojkees (saspa_melon) (G, 4k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post Resurrection, Getting Together, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LWJ Getting Drunk, POV WWX) if it's not this fic then i deffo haven't read the correct one 😅

FOUND! To Have Found You Early by Porceline Blue (E, 10k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Case Fic, sort of anyways)

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20. Hi guys! I’m trying to find a fic but I only remember one thing about it 🙈 LWJ was the god of devotion. Hopefully someone remembers that 😬

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Thank you for all the suggestions~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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