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#im not sure how I’d feel about pickled fish
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tag game: 50 Qs
i wasnt tagged but i saw this post off @nicolodigenovas and what can i say i just have a bit of time to burn so im burnin it!
what is the color of your hairbrush? black bcos im boring
name a food you never eat: pickles. i will not eat pickles not on pain of death much to the disappointment and horror of my parents
are you typically too warm or too cold? i only ever get cold??? im used to the tropics i guess
what were you doing 45 mins ago? studying :) for :) my :) final :) exams :)
what’s your favorite candy bar? idrc but i will go insane for hard candies 
have you ever been to a professional sports game? i actually haven’t? i’ve done a fair amount of school sports etc etc but i dont have a vested interest in professional sport. that being said i wanna go to a serena williams or naomi osaka match before i die
what is the last thing you said out loud? they were sung but um the lyrics to cigar by tamino i love that song so much
what is your favorite ice cream? coffee flavoured
what was the last thing you had to drink? oh just water
do you like your wallet? i dont own wallets i just shove money into the pockets of my jackets and jeans and hope to god i remember to fish it out before it goes into the wash
what is the last thing you ate? dinner which was lasagna
did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i bought new formal pants for my school formal which is happening at some point as well as a gold chain that is very not heterosexual looking of me
what’s the last sporting event you watched? must’ve been the american open final?
what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? sweet n salty i like it kind of mild but plain is intolerable to me
who is the last person you sent a text message to? my year seven group chat!! crazy how im still friends with the same fundamental circle of 8 people like 6 years later 
ever been camping? yes it was fun i got to light shit on fire
do you take vitamins? nope
do you regularly attend a place of worship? temple is reserved for special occasions so no 
do you have a tan? i have never had a sunburn in my life thank you viet genes for my rights
do you prefer Chinese or pizza? pizza i pretty much never have chinese food tbh
do you drink your soda through a straw? no we chug like men
what color socks do you usually wear? white or obnoxiously patterned
do you ever drive above the speed limit? i don’t drive all that much but when i do no im only a learner so
what terrifies you? being forgotten and alone aha
look to your left, what do you see? the tube of hair dye that will make my hair blue eventually
what chore do you hate most? folding clothes something about it is just wired to irritate everything inside of me
what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? SFDGHJKL;GDJKSL this question is so funnily specific and i just dont Think like thats what im surrounded by 24/7 so
what’s your favorite soda? sprite? some variation of lemonade methinks
do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru
what’s your favorite number? 7
who’s the last person you talked to? i called my friend dom a few hours ago
favorite cut of beef? idc
last song you listened to? currently listening to habibi by tamino
last book you read? i was rereading orlando by virginia woolf yesterday
favorite day of the week? idk why i’ve always been partial to thursdays
can you say the alphabet backwards? i can barely say it forwards dude
how do you like your coffee? black or a mocha no inbetween
favorite pair of shoes? i have these really nice black boots that give me a lot of weight when i walk 
time you normally get up? awake at 7, actually up at 9 if i can help it
what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets
how many blankets on your bed? just the one
describe your kitchen plates. mostly plain white porcelain, but we have a few with blue flowers painted on them that we get for cheap from the same viet grocery where we get our rice from
describe your kitchen at the moment. very dark, the only sound i’m hearing is the dishwasher going. it is 1:30am so i mean...
do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? we mix beer in with lemonade its nice
do you play cards? only if my friends bring the cards i dont play by my own volition ever
what color is your car? we have a red car and a black car
can you change a tire? in theory, sure, in practice, not so much
your favorite state? this feels usa centric but im bending it to my will and yes new south wales is my favourite state because i live in it :)
favorite job you’ve had? working in a childcare centre was genuinely the most fun i’d had and i would go back there in a heartbeat if i weren’t aiming for older kids to nail some good solid appreciation for human rights into
i will not be tagging anyone this was purely self indulgent but if u want u can do it :)
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hazbinextgeneration · 4 years
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Cats Hate Water But Love Fish
What had made him come to this? What lunatic controlling fate made the grand decision of making him fall for such a small weak little thing like her? He would probably never know, but the way she was giggling and holding his very red face right now in her soft little hands. He could always turn around, swim away, and never look back-....but she mustve put some kind of spell on him as she continued to gush at him.  "I could eat you right know." He gave a small growl, showing on his fangs to give his point. "Know one would know and you always risk yourself by coming you know.'' She smiled. "You won't do that." His brow raised. "How can you be so sure?" She smiled wider. "Because your face tells a lot more than you think." D*M IT ALL TO NEXT HELL!! He cursed himself for being like this, for being so weak and vulnerable around someone who wasn't even a threat to him. What would happen if some danger did come along?! NO! He didn't like the way she looked at him with those big beautiful eyes, or the way she was so patient with his stupid arse, or the way she was always squishing his cheeks in her soft paws and calling him cute- NOPE! NOT AT ALL!! And he definitely didn't spend last night laying awake thinking about how cute and soft she was! Nope! And he definitely didn't hit his head trying to catch her a fish she loved just to see her smile at him- ABSOLUTELY NOT!! …...Ok. Maybe- But that's a very small maybe. Gosh he was starting to regret meeting her as strange as it was- …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Well this certainly was a pickle wasn't it. Imagine just going for a swim with your best friend and enjoying a nice day at the beach to just relax, simple right? Yeah- Nope. A storm had blown in unexpectedly and swept through the lake just a few hours after they arrived. All she wanted was to just relax around on her floaty, not be swept out to the middle of the gigantic lake with no way back..Well, she could swim but those waves didn't look so promising against her mediocre swimming skills, at least if she stayed on the floaty she could stay afloat and not worry about sinking.  But now she had another problem...The sky(or what counted as the sky down here) was starting to get darker by the minute and she wasn't too sure which direction was the way back to shore anymore. It was kinda hard to tell with the waves being so tall and her getting tossed back and forth like a ragdoll on a beach ball wasn't the best feeling in the world, and she was starting to feel like puking. Man....She was starting to get tired of this- "CELINE?!" Don't ask why she thought it was a good idea to start shouting for a friend who couldn't help her, might've been just a reflex or a hope but it would soon lead to more bad than good...Or would it? "HELP?! HEL-" A wave chose that exact moment to rear it's ugly head and crash down over the poor cat's body, the wind was knocked outta her like a rock slammed into her. Immediately air bubbles surrounded her form as she unceremoniously screamed from the hurtful impact, darkness surrounded her form as the stormy waves above continued to rattle about like some sort of punisher. It was surprisingly....calm in the dark black surrounding her. Almost like the night. Completely silent. A peaceful way to go if she wasn't already dead, or didn't want to die again.  It was when she turned and found two yellow eyes and a mouth full of teeth staring at her did she scream again. ***************************************************** You know....It's really troubling trying to find something to eat somewhere where there's not a lot of available food just swimming around, so imagine his luck when he stumbled across a seemingly dumb person just floating about in the middle of his territory. Kinda dumb being all the way out here in the middle of the dam storm, but who was he to judge. Food is food. A quick wave was able to knock whoever the person was over and into the water where he waited. His stomach grumbled just thinking about it... But that thought soon vanished after seeing her face. UGH- He hated tiny meals. This one wasn't worth the trouble...Not enough fat on her. He also didn't appreciate the bubbles shoved in his face when she screamed again and started kicking up towards the surface. His face scrunched up in annoyance. Did everyone always have to be so rude when they see a gigantic 20 ft demon looking at them? Oh well. At least he got to do the scaring part he always liked. Ounce she made it back up through the swaying surface, coughing and spitting out out her lungs, a dark shadow loomed out from under her. In a split second the shadow had bust through the waves with ease. Water splashed over her, almost sending her down under the water again. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FOOOOOL!!!" His raspy voice boomed over the noise of the waves and wind. "Those who enter my territory are doomed to DIE! Wha- H-HEY!" He flinched back when she yelped and instinctively grabbed onto him to keep from being drowned down by a wave. "HEY! Do you have a death wish! Those who ever as much as touch me are bound to- HEY! STOP DROWNING WHEN IM TRYING TO THREATEN YOU!!" With a blub sound another wave sent her under. He groaned. Did his prey ALWAYS have to make things more difficult like this? He stuck his hand back under the waves and a moment later he pulled the shivering, sputtering cat back out of the bobbing water. She coughed and spat out some of the salt water, heaving and looking up at him. ".....*sigh* You know what? Screw this. My voice isn't worth some drowned cat." He began turning in the opposite direction and making swimming through the waves look like a breeze. She gave him a confused. "Where-....W-Where are we g-g-going?" "Im dumping you on the shore. You're not worth the trouble of straining my voice." …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… "S-Stop it." "Why? You're acting like a child." "Because I don't like physical contact. And I'd like to see you prove me wrong.'' He made a move to pry her hands from his face from his face but that idea was scraped when he felt something small on his face. OH SWEET MOTHER OF HECK-!! WAS THIS GIRL SERIOUSLY-?! She gave a small kiss on his cheek which he froze at, immediately his face broke out into a watermelon red. His hands were shoved in front of his face as to hide his embarrassment. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH- STOP THAT!!" She just giggled and gave him another small kiss. More muffled screams followed. 
*AHEM* @briannartoonz  I did a thing.
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weirdlizard26 · 5 years
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For the ask meme? All of them.
jay,,,
give me a sec to edit this post ok
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
wine glasses are like reading glasses except you wear them while drinking wine
i’d say water bottles but only the ones that can handle heat and stuff and not poison your drink with plastic or whatever
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
i havent had a lollipop in a good while so thats my choice
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
havent tried either but boy i’d love to try just a little bit of cotton candy at leastonce
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
bro,,,,,, that was like 10 years ago, how am i supposed to remember that,,,,,,,
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
i usually drink soda from plastic cups but honestly? nothing beats the experience of sipping that sweet sweet ambrosia from the bottle,,, but also i’d love to try soda in a can some day!
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
idk what half of these would look like but sportswear always wins in my book
7. earbuds or headphones?
ok i actually googled whats the difference and im more of an earbuds person! theyrejust safer i think and it makes me kinda anxious when im home listening tomusic and cant hear anything going on around me
8. movies or tv shows?
tv shows! well, unless the episodes are like 40 minutes or a full hour because its hard to focus for that long kfjsndkfs
9. favorite smell in the summer?
pavement after rain and also. grass.
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
haha thats a funny joke you made there *starts crying*
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
just a couple of meat+cheese+mayo sandwiches! if its summer mom cuts tomatoes or cucumbers for us and as they start getting more and more expensive we replace them with pickles!
12. name of your favorite playlist?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
sorry i couldnt choose!
13. lanyard or key ring?
key ring!
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
aaaa i love fruit flavored ones!
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
aaaaaaaa i dont remember if it was elementary or middle school but we were assigned this really cool ukrainian book that ive actually read before they assigned it. well, nobody here will recognize it but it was Тореадори з Васюківки by Всеволод Нестайко and it was about 2 boys who were best friends growing up in the countryside and they went on adventures and had fun and their friendship made me so happy,,, i guess i was all for cool friendship portrayal even back then! it was mostly laughs and jokes but some moments were actually serious and hit me really hard and i remember them to this day actually
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
its a myth, sitting was created as a personal attack on me
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
my trusty old sneakers!! theyre all black and the sole is very soft and nice
18. ideal weather?
when the sun is out and its just warm enough to show off your new graphic tee and also very soft and nice
19. sleeping position?
i just lie on my left side like a fool
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
notebook!
21. obsession from childhood?
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!! AND DANNY PHANTOM!!!! i even made a ghost fighting costume once,,,, tho it wasnt much of a costume, it was just fingerless gloves i cut out of paper. they were extremely uncomfortable. but very effective in fighting ghosts!
22. role model?
kfjsdnfk i have a bunch! might sound weird but one of them is bdg i think??? and the other 2 are some online acquaintances whom im too afraid to interact with more often than i do
23. strange habits?
repeating silly lines i hear on tv / in anime/cartoons? and also i never touch food with my right hand unless its plums?? and there are more but. you know. bad memory.
24. favorite crystal?
all of them!!!!!
25. first song you remember hearing?
my grandma used to sing this to me over the phone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUPnqqPXQsw
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
go for a walk!
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
slep
28. five songs to describe you?
we are the people by empire of the sun
home by cavetown
strawberry blonde by mitski
smile like you mean it by the killers
afterlife by arcade fire
29. best way to bond with you?
wash your hands very thoroughly and make jokes
30. places that you find sacred?
i see nature i go crazy from how much respect i have for it
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass andtake names?
*wearing hinata cosplay* im here to play volleyball and kick your ass and as you can see ive already played today’s match
32. top five favorite vines?
road work ahead
a avocado!! thanks!!!!!
REBECCA THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK
i fell can you help me :(
that vine where ukulele sounds like human voices and people sounds like ukuleles
33. most used phrase in your phone?
idk how to check that??? sowwy
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
the stomach meds ad they keep showing on tv
35. average time you fall asleep?
3am? 4am? idk for sure
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
t-trollface…
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
havent used either (cause ive never traveled anywhere too far away) but the latter looks pretty and i feel like it would fit more stuff
38. lemonade or tea?
depends on my mood!
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
dont kick me but im not sure if ive ever tried either ;w;
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
the school’s cat who hates most people actually kinda warmed up to me even tho im terrible with animals
41. last person you texted?
jay uwu
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
afabs cant have both huh
but i want both. please give me both.
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
all of these sound nice but my lazy ass will always go for hoodies
44. favorite scent for soap?
aaaaaaaa im allergic to a lot of soaps but i like flower scented ones
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
i love all of them dearly but lately ive been more into superheroes i think. im not sure really sure what exactly i feel
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
something really really long
47. favorite type of cheese?
there are different types????
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
i hope im a pear
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
become a good person. thats all.
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
i dont remember what it was but i remember i was with my friends and we couldnt stop laughing for several minutes and ive never felt happier
51. current stresses?
UNIVERSITY FUCK OFF!!!
52. favorite font?
i like comic sans
53. what is the current state of your hands?
they arent doing so hot tbh, my dermatitis is back again
54. what did you learn from your first job?
i dont have one!
55. favorite fairy tale?
gonna be honest chief, i dont remember too many of them ;w;
56. favorite tradition?
on new year’s we turn the lights off, light up a candle in the kitchen, laugh at president’s speech and only then starts eating
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
getting over a lost friendship, passing high school finals and uni entrance exams and coming out to my best friend
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
singing!! being able to learn how to do most things pretty quickly!!! and i cant think of anything else but honestly these two are quite enough for me
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
uh oh! guess what! i dont have a catchphrase and im very self-conscious about it!
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
im torn between sports anime and slice of life
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
because humans dont have wings we look for other ways to fly
from haikyuu
obviously
62. seven characters you relate to?
tsukishima kei from haikyuu
mae borowski from nitw
apollo justice from ace attorney
flame princess from adventure time
donatello from tmnt
sokka from atla
kageyama shigeo from mob psycho 100
63. five songs that would play in your club?
mr brightside, bohemian rhapsody, smile like you mean it by the killers and allof haikyuu ops and eds
64. favorite website from your childhood?
if social media counts, vkontakte i guess?? i didnt really go anywhere else and it still exists and i thriving so im not sure if it should count fkjsndkjf
65. any permanent scars?
yeah, the one from my very first vaccination from when i was a few months old i think and also some traces of when i had chickenpox
66. favorite flower(s)?
idk a lot of flower names but i really like tulips
67. good luck charms?
dont have any at the moment but i’d love to get one!
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
whatever fish mom used to buy when we were kids >:(
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
bro my memory isnt good enough to remember those,,
70. left or right handed?
im a righty but i had to become a lefty for like a month when i broke my pinkie
71. least favorite pattern?
i like traditional ukrainian ornaments
72. worst subject?
history :P
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
ice cream + fries
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
idk how pain levels work but i try not to take meds unless the pain is interfering with studying
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
idk but i had a box full of my teeth for so long they turned to dust and i had to throw it away
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
RHNGRHGNRHGRNH EVERYTHING except for freshly made mashed potatoes
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
if its green it can stay
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
have never had either of those and i hope i never will cause they sound gross!
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
i dont have a license, so.
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
kfjsndfks depends on the mood tbh!
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
fireflies!
82. pc or console?
i WISH i had a console but this is too broke for that,, i played a couple of times tho and it feels more fun than pc!
83. writing or drawing?
please dont make me choose, ive abandoned both and its making me feel bad
84. podcasts or talk radio?
podcasts :O
84. barbie or polly pocket?
idk what polly pocket is but barbie rules!!!
85. fairy tales or mythology?
i feel like sometimes fairy tales are kinda like watered down myths so i have a right to say i like both
86. cookies or cupcakes?
my heart goes to cookies
87. your greatest fear?
finding out im faking any part of my identity
88. your greatest wish?
get through whatever’s going on right now
89. who would you put before everyone else?
mom
90. luckiest mistake?
when i recorded an undertale medley and got a few notes wrong but it actually ended up sounding better than originally
91. boxes or bags?
boxes!
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
fairy lights……
93. nicknames?
never really had many? my bff calls me mr smith sometimes but thats all i can think of fkjsdnfs but also! steve used to be my nickname before i decided my life my own and i get to choose my name
94. favorite season?
spring ;w;
95. favorite app on your phone?
sudoku
 96. desktop background?
Tumblr media
 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
my own and my mom’s
 98. favorite historical era?
eh im not very fond of the past because not every time period had soap
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wheelthefridge · 5 years
Text
in honor of last night having been my last ever shift dishwashing at the same restaurant i’ve been at for the past four years here’s an absurdly long list of random chaotic moments that literally no one asked for that i’ve been compiling since day one:
bj, with a half full gallon of orange juice: this expired two months ago. *pours down drain* that was a long time ago
sam: YOU! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!! *carries on normally with no explanation* bj: smack that! that too! smack those vegetables! punch that burger in the nose! chop that bun! bob: no, flick the bun. you have to flick it. 
*bad and boujee playing* bj: walks into kitchen, singing bj: you better know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run bj: walks out of kitchen, still singing
me: hey can you put the wet floor sign out for me dylan: sure dylan: *slips while putting the sign out* me:
sam: get this- i haven’t smoked pot in like three days and my brain is ready to roll! yeah!
joe: ha! oldest trick in the book i just started writing 
dude @bar: ten percent of people are over 6'1" other dude: what about 6'2"  dude 1: what? no. ten percent of people are OVER 6'1" - so that includes 6'2" dude 2: idk I know a lot of tall guys. taller than me dude 1: what? i’m saying- just- ten percent of everyone in the whole world- you know how many people there are in the world? 7 billion– dude 2: i thought it was six billion  dude 1: no, 7 billion- ten percent of 7 billion—
joe, digging through the trash: i’m just gonna peruse through here,, aaaaannnd….. nope not here me: what’re u looking for Joe: …..a book
didi: is eating a pistachio  katherine: is that sour cream
sam: some dirty whorebag wants two pickles 
joe: sam she am. that’s right. dr seuss wrote a book about her 
katherine: oh my goddd this song is always on i’m so tired of it joe: is it? i don’t think i’ve heard it before carolyn: eh it’s all just one long brazilian song to me
katherine: look at my straw i put it in the pencil sharpener 
sam: i’m on crack cocaine. you heard it here
sam, aggressively putting silverware in the tray: just the way the cookie crumbles me: yeah? sam, fake crying: yes
adele: if you’re ready- sam: what if I’m not bob: too bad. she only cares if she’s ready
something: *breaks* sam: time for the mop. and by mop i mean… this thing *holds up dustpan*
mike: you should go on junior master chef…. and only make fries 
sam, quietly as she speedwalks by me: panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic
sam, beginning of the night: my goal is to make at least forty bucks tonight. hopefully sixty sam, later that night: i’ve made five dollars
sam, pouring a drink into the trash right next to the sink: you know, im not sure why i poured that in the trash. i’ve had a very off day
katherine, after accidentally spraying salsa on herself: i just sprayed salsa all over myself bj: i feel like that too sometimes. i love salsa so much
sam: can you imagine if i did like hardcore drugs how messed up i would be- i’m messed up soberly
someone: what’re you supposed to feed twenty kids  kerry: pizza bj: vodka 
sam: will you let bob know there’s gonna be seven in the snug bj: seven in the snug? that’s my band name. we’re really good
edson: *spins cover on counter and stares at it for solid thirty seconds before putting his finger down to stop it* edson: good. 
sam: what should i draw bj: you should draw casey, hanging from a cliff, with a pterodactyl flying towards them who is on fire, but, seems optimistic about it 
bj: life is too short for low fat cheese. remember that. 
sam, beginning of night, in a really good mood: guess what i’m drunk and high right now  sam, later that night: i was just pouring a beer and i dropped it. like my hand just let go of it sam, end of night: i’m never doing this again 
joe: you know who didn’t clock out yet?? i have two thumbs! joe: ……wait joe: you know who has two thumbs and hasn’t clocked out yet?? this guy!! me: there ya go buddy
bob: i’ve slept fifteen hours in the past four days me: that’s not good bob: yeah
edson: look edson: *holds out hand with top spinning in his palm* *giggles*
sam: i cannot wait for this day to be over  me: it’s barely started  sam: i took a shot before i got here. i have more in my car
bob: hi sam sam: hi bob  didi: hi sam sam: fuck off
joe: her? oh yeah her name is sarah whitaker  katherine: oh i think i know her joe: that’s funny because i just made that up. i’m willing to bet money that she’s nineteen tho me: why joe: bc i overheard her say that she’s nineteen
joe: i’m gonna send you a video but you can’t watch it now it’s needs full attention with headphones and the lights off 
bj: if you lose your hand, don’t replace it with a fork. that would be a bad choice. i know it’s probably the cheapest option, right up there with stick, but just spend the money. 
bj, on a different day: i think if you were to get your hands cut off, getting them replaced with plates would be a very bad idea. you can dig. and you can toss. but that’s about it. no playing the saxophone.  
colby: *doesn’t show up to work* bj: maybe i should leave him a message of just me crying 
katherine: i think an old man just asked me to live with him
sam: wait *pulls celery strings out of her mouth* that just came out of my throat
bob: i’m such a grump tonight. i’m in a good mood i’m just so grumpy.  bob: maybe i’m not in a good mood…
bj, after sending christa downstairs to get liquor for the bar: i put a live cobra down there too so… if she comes back with it dead in her hands…. she’s a champ. and that’s that. 
bj: i had a dog today did you have a dog? me: no bj: oh. well. 
dylan, holding phone camera at joe: hey joe can you pull ur shirt down joe, pulling the collar of his shirt halfway down his chest: yeah like this? dylan, taking picture: yeah thanks 
bj: HI-YAH carley: you’re a ninja!! bj: yes. don’t be alarmed. i only use my powers for good. 
bj, with one bottle in each hand, pouring water in the sink, mimicking cow milking motions: it’s like a cow. mooooooeeeeeeuuuuuhhhhhhgggg aaaaaauuuuuueuejhshhsii. that’s what cows sound like right?
bj: we have a dog, and we’re getting chickens. i’m not really sure why were getting chickens. do i consider myself a farmer? not really. 
bj: we should make a youtube channel of just me saying really random things to you and you not responding to me whatsoever me: mhmm
nancy: I’m sleeping
sam: *pours drink out on counter next to sink* sam: wHAT the FuCK was that!? why did i do that?? i’ve lost it! i’ve hit rock bottom!!
sam: *bends over* ughhhhhhhhhhhhh *straightens up* ok i’m fine
bj: yum! that’s how i rate the soup. two yums up!! *laughs for like a full minute*
sam: i got my motorcycle license over the weekend and now all everyone’s saying to me is “no don’t get a motorcycle they’re so dangerous” like shut the fuck up if i die i die it’s my choice 
bj: i think if i were to be turned into some kind of commercial type of food, if i got turned into a nugget, i think i’d be indignant. i’ve lived my whole life and now i’m a nugget??? “oh i was a great roasted-“ i was a nugget. i was eaten with fries out of a box with a small soda. 
bj: hello everybody. i have arrived. please remain calm.  bob: *screams*
radio: the fastest lawn mower in the world goes up to 150 miles per hour! bob: …….why??
sam: i just meowed in scotty’s face and he was completely unfazed by it. like a full on Meow. 
bob: lemme just touch these live wires with my wet hands  bj: bob has gone offline
katherine: i totally forgot to put their order in for i don’t even know how long me: ……..i’m sure it’ll be fine katherine: i mean, nothing matters, right? right. nothing matters. 
bj: hey did you guys hear that kate: yeah what was that bj: oh i was just yelling……….. about the soup kate: me: katherine: bj: i’ll try to keep it down next time
bob: you sleep a lot when you’re old. it’s just practice for death. getting ready for The Big Sleep. let’s see how do i wanna go out? on my back?? nah not for me. on my front babey! 
didi: hi sam sam: SHUT UP didi, quieter: okay…… sam: i love you  didi: no bj: so you’re a grownup now. that’s means you have to do grown up things, like, pay for dinner and stuff? me: uh huh bj: it’s all downhill from here 
bj: pon pon the van poco. right? me: mhmm bj: probably. i mean. i’m no doctor, but
random woman @ bar: we are the matrix. We. Are. The Matrix. 
bj, to the tune of frosty the snowman: clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk look at all this stuff. clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk making casey’s job tough! pretty good right?? i just made it up 
bj: *walks into kitchen* YES! that’s all i have to say. that’s it. BOBS killing it. DIDIS killing it. casey MURDERED it. you’re welcome. *walks out of kitchen* bj: today is the second day in a row my dog has eaten my lunch. yesterday and then today. it’s my own fault really bob: well you know what they say about men who like floppy french fries. *doesn’t elaborate*
sam: there’s a toy baby in my section. like just a toy baby taking up a seat in my section. what do i do like do i move the bitch? do i leave her there??
bob, talking to himself: if you get sick tomorrow, just remember. it’s your own fault for eating food off the floor. 
bob, to katherine: no, you don’t have to mop the carpet
bj: cheeeesy. 
laura: if i get through tonight without a heart attack it’ll be incredible. if i do have a heart attack tho just let me go
caldo: *unintelligible yelling* SELLING my BODY for SEX *more unintelligible yelling*
bob: my fathers brother sent all his kids to australia. i guess he figured at least one of them would make it
caldo: i don’t trust people who go out to eat tuna fish
bob: can you make some more guacamole soon we’re running low laura: pulls five (5) avocados from her pockets 
bob: he looks like jesus. well. he looks like what white people think jesus looked like
sam: yeah. Please. eat some more mother Fucking crackers. 
bj: i feel like i gave birth to the eggplant stacks tonight. and honestly? if my child looked like that? i’d be proud. proud to have an eggplant child
bj: alright everybody let’s get the fuf out of here!! i said fuf not f- it’s safe. f u f starts and ends with soft letters no one gets hurt. any word that starts with a soft letter and ends with a hard letter is bad news… i feel like every time i come in here i annoy you guys. casey’s one dumbass comment away from killing me. “hey so what are your thoughts on grass?” “that’s it” *mimics shooting a gun*
ilia: -and the dogs gonna get diabetes- katherine, indignantly: i cleaned it really well!
mickey: i’ll tell you one thing. crack is good. 
sam: some lady just rolled up to the bar, no bra, nipples beamin through the shirt- LETS GET IT!!!!
caldo: *speed walks into kitchen and shotguns a beer over the trash* ok i’m back. i should not have smoked this morning
dom: little kid just picked up a knife and went “oh cool i can stab someone” me, katherine, and sam in unison: good dom: yeah the dad took it away 
sam: my friend was like “why is your go to dance move just to snap” and i was like “i don’t know, i’m white” *shrugs*
bj: someone just asked me if i’m having fun. am i having fun? i don’t know if i’m having fun. there are certainly other things i’d rather be doing right now, but i don’t know if i can definitively say that i’m Not having fun. 
bj: some jobs require Only a ladle bj, thirty seconds later, after walking away and coming back: sometimes, also a funnel
bj, @ laura who’s eating cornbread: you cornbread eating chef!!!  laura: bj: laura: bj: i’m just saying facts in a weird way. you know like you’re in trouble. 
sam: *war cry* *spits out gum* *walks away*
bj: what kind of smoothie? Soup Smoothie!!
katherine: so this woman ordered some hot water so i gave it to her and her husband says you know what that’s for right and i’m like ….to drink? and he says nope! and doesn’t explain so i’m just like ………..okay! and walk away bc i don’t even want to know 
bj: there’s no shame in it! A Grown Man Can Bathe In Yogurt!!!
bj, leaning down very close to to-go box: i love you
bob: anyone want a drink? brian: whatever’s your strongest bob: milk it is
guy at bar: sUE HIM?!?!??? oh i’d sue him yeah
sam: who orders something extra cold?? like, you need to Die now thanks. 
sam: do you dare me to drink this buffalo sauce me: yes laura, walking by: snort it
sam: one more day. just one more day laura: of what sam: waking up
bob: *is trying to explain easter to jewish laura* laura: wait so he died… then he came back to life?? then he died Again??? bob: he died. then he came back just to tell people he was alive. then he said SEE YA and ascended to heaven
sam: i HATE margaritas. i don’t know why i just made myself one. 
bob: wow. i have this overpowering urge to just go home. 
bj, putting back a slotted spoon: this is a bad choice for dressing. a bad choice. 
me: *catches a plate about to fall* bj: woah! smooth moves!! spider-man? maybe. 
danny: so you know how at my other job everyone calls me daddy?
sam: *dumps out two full wine glasses* i fucked up. tell no one. 
me: remember when we used to be able to leave early? bob: no. i think we imagined it. 
danny: i didn’t realize we served DICK here -a few min later- danny: sorry i just got out of work and i’m all fired up
sam: my moms drunk and she won’t go home
bob: hey wasn’t that slang for mari- bj: cocaine. 
bj: *kicks kitchen door open* YEE-HAW!!!!
danny: sorry casey  me: what for  danny: for having to deal with me me: yeah *shrugs* danny: they should pay you more me: yeah
didi: i kill you ilia: do it now didi: no ilia: do it i wanna die
danny, about a burger: we’ve got ourselves a squirter!!
sam: is that a chicken patty  sydney: it’s my dog
sam, on my last night with her: lets get casey TRASHED tonight
sam: are you gonna go dancing in new york didi: yes laura: whore it up
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yoursummerfrost · 7 years
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Tagged by @bitsandshits ! And I’ll taggggg @abominableobriens @zombizombi @disarmd @samwell-womens-hockey @shipped-goldstandard @polyamorousparson @omgpbandj @blithelybonny @soundslikepenance
Answers under the cut because it’s loooong
1. Coffee or tea? Coffeeeeeeeee 2. Black and white or color? So. Much. Color.
3. Drawings or paintings? Paintings! 4. Dresses or skirts? Dresses 5. Books or movies? Fics > movies > books 6. Pepsi or Coke? Coke 7. Chinese or Italian? Italian! 8. Early bird or night owl? Suchhhhh a night owl 9. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla ice cream, chocolate otherwise 10. Introvert or extrovert? Extremely outgoing ambivert 11. Hugs or kisses? Kisses :-* 12. Hunting or fishing? Neither, please :( 13. Winter or summer? SUMMER, which I am clinging to with my tiny queer hands 14. Spring or fall? Fall but only so I can wear bi flannels 15. Rural or urban? Urban, please never make me leave my city 16. PC or Mac? PC 17. Tan or pale? i am very pale lol 18. Cake or pie? Uhhhh icecream cake? 19. Ice cream or yogurt? Ice cream 20. Ketchup or mustard? Mayo 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? Dill pickles 22. Comedy or mystery? Comedyyyy 23. Boots or sandals? Sandals 24. Silver or gold? Silver 25. Pop or Rock? ........pop-rock 26. Dancing or singing? Both at the same time 27. Checkers or chess? chess 28. Board games or video games? board gameeeesss 29. Wine or beer? Wine 30. Freckles or dimples? Freckles 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? honey mustard 3000% 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? Body weight? 33. Baseball or basketball? Baseball because I’m sure N is gonna make me care wayyyy too much about softball soon 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? Sudoku 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? So much facial hair please 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? Cubes 37. Skiing or snowboarding? Skiing 38. Smile or game face? :D 39. Bracelet or necklace? necklace 40. Fruit or vegetables? veggies 41. Sausage or bacon? bacon 42. Scrambled or fried? scrambled 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? daaark 44. Tattoos or piercings? Tattooooooooos 45. Antique or brand new? Brand new! 46. Dress up or dress down? Up!!! 47. Cowboys or aliens? Aliens 48. Cats or dogs? :3 49. Pancakes or waffles? Pancakes 50. Bond or Bourne? Bi Bond plz? 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? Sci-Fi 52. Numbers or letters? Numbers 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Harry Potter 54. Fair or theme park? Fair 55. Money or fame? Money plz 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? DISHES FUCK LAUNDRY 57. Snakes or sharks? Snakessss 58. Orange juice or apple juice? Orange 59. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset 60. Slacker or over-achiever? Both, simultaneously, at all times 61. Pen or pencil? Pen 62. Peanut butter or jelly? peanut butter 63. Grammys or Oscars? Grammys 64. Detailed or abstract? Abstract 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? Essay 66. Adventurous or cautious? Adventureeee 67. Saver or spender? Spender 68. Glasses or contacts? Contacts for me, glasses on others 69. Laptop or desktop? laptop 70. Classic or modern? Modern 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? Like, as a career? Both sound like hell. I’d rather hire a chef tho 72. Internet or cell phone? How can I have a cell phone without internet? 73. Call or text? Text 74. Curly hair or straight hair? Curls 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? Either or 76. Spicy or mild? As much spice as I can handle (which tbf isn’t much lol) 77. Marvel or DC? Marvel in general but DC gave me Wonder Woman soooooo  78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? Rent 79. Sky dive or bungee jump? Bungee 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? oreos 81. Jello or pudding? Jello 82. Truth or dare? Dare 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? roller coaster 84. Leather or denim? leather 85. Stripes or solids? stripes 86. Bagels or muffins? bagels 87. Whole wheat or white? Wheat 88. Beads or pearls? Pearls 89. Hardwood or carpet? hardwood 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? bright coloooorrrrsss 91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? Can I be 22 forever? 92. Raisins or nuts? Nuts 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? Fancyyyyy af 94. Black leather or brown leather? Brown 95. Long hair or short hair? Short :D 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? what 97. Fiction or non-fiction? fiction 98. Smoking or non-smoking? non-smoking 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? Realistically, talk first lmao 100. Asking questions or answering questions? Answering, plz slather me in attention 
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bitsandshits · 7 years
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I got tagged in this so long ago and I saw it and forgot about it and nobody is surprised in the least
Thanks though @peppernine, @yoursummerfrost I’m gonna make you do it now (if you wanna)
1. Coffee or tea? Coffee 2. Black and white or color? Color for most art, but black and grey for tattoos 3. Drawings or paintings? oh god I don’t know, both? 4. Dresses or skirts? dresses, skirts invariably look weird on me 5. Books or movies? books 6. Pepsi or Coke? All pop is gross and idc what anyone says, it’s called pop 7. Chinese or Italian? Chinese 8. Early bird or night owl? APPARENTLY IM A MORNING PERSON NOW WHO KNOWS HOW THE FUCK THAT HAPPENED 9. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate 10. Introvert or extrovert? I’m a shockingly friendly socially anxious introvert, people are either shocked by how good with people I am or shocked to find out that I’m introverted and mad socially anxious, it’s a constant source of amusement for me 11. Hugs or kisses? how the fuck am I supposed to choose??? 12. Hunting or fishing? I straight up refuse to do either, but I guess if I really had to choose I’d fish. My grandpa is constantly disappointed that I wont anymore though 13. Winter or summer? mmmmMMMMM god fuck if I know, I guess summer???  14. Spring or fall? FALL IS MY SHIT 15. Rural or urban? Urban, I get bored easily 16. PC or Mac? PC 17. Tan or pale? If you’re asking me what I am, I’m a ginger and therefore Pale As Fuck 18. Cake or pie? Generally pie 19. Ice cream or yogurt? ice cream 20. Ketchup or mustard? ketchup but tbh, I’m one of those people that will put ranch on fucking everything 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? all pickles are disgusting  22. Comedy or mystery? mystery, but comedy if it’s well done 23. Boots or sandals? boots, preferably of the leather variety 24. Silver or gold? Probably gold 25. Pop or Rock? hmmm I’ll say pop cause I’m really into Halsey’s and Kesha’s new stuff right now but punk is my true love 26. Dancing or singing? I can’t do either but I like to sing a lot anyhow 27. Checkers or chess? I don’t know how either works but I like reading about Harry and Ron playing wizard chess  28. Board games or video games? board games I guess but I don’t do either of these either 29. Wine or beer? I like the taste of wine a lot but if I’m going for feeling of inebriation, I find really vodka is where it’s at  30. Freckles or dimples? dimples, perhaps cause I’m full of freckles so it really doesn’t hold much appeal for me 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? Look, ranch is where it’s at idk what to tell you 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? lifting weights cause im not even strong enough for body weight anymore fuck 33. Baseball or basketball? basketball I guess, but the only sport I actually like is hockey 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? crosswords 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? Clean shaven, only a very very few people can pull off facial hair tbh 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? cubed 37. Skiing or snowboarding? these are both a solid way for me to break a bone/die 38. Smile or game face? smile! 39. Bracelet or necklace? necklace 40. Fruit or vegetables? vegetables 41. Sausage or bacon? bacon 42. Scrambled or fried? scrambled is the only way I’ll eat them 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? I’m a baby, I can’t do dark chocolate 44. Tattoos or piercings? Oh man I have SUCH a thing for both but I’ll go with tattoos 45. Antique or brand new? I’m afraid to break either 46. Dress up or dress down? Dress up 47. Cowboys or aliens? Depends, are aliens as gay as cowboys are? 48. Cats or dogs? I have a cat tattoo if that gives you an idea 49. Pancakes or waffles? Waffles but only with chocolate chips and no syrup 50. Bond or Bourne? I have no idea what this is referring to 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? Fantasy 52. Numbers or letters? Letters I guess, math can get fucked 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Harry Potter, no question 54. Fair or theme park? theme park 55. Money or fame? Money, I would hate being famous oh my god 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? I’m currently putting off doing both, but in general laundry 57. Snakes or sharks? How could you make me choose??? Sharks, purely because they’re water animals 58. Orange juice or apple juice? orange  59. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset 60. Slacker or over-achiever? Over achiever in everything but school, where I’m a slacker 61. Pen or pencil? Pen 62. Peanut butter or jelly? peanut butter 63. Grammys or Oscars? ngl I’m not sure what either of these are for 64. Detailed or abstract? Detailed 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? Multiple choice, I can usually guess pretty well even if I don’t know shit 66. Adventurous or cautious? adventurous as long as someone else is choosing the adventure 67. Saver or spender? saver 68. Glasses or contacts? glasses, on myself and other people 69. Laptop or desktop? laptop 70. Classic or modern? classic 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? I desperately need both tbh 72. Internet or cell phone? internet 73. Call or text? text, I have trouble processing speech 74. Curly hair or straight hair? i fucking love curls 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? heavily depends on my schedule  76. Spicy or mild? I’m a baby, mild as fuck 77. Marvel or DC? marvel  78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? rent at this point in my lief  79. Sky dive or bungee jump? I’m terrified of heights 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? oreos 81. Jello or pudding? After putting jello in my hair for years, I will never be able to eat it again 82. Truth or dare? truth, I’m a wimp who will tell anyone anything 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? roller coaster 84. Leather or denim? leather 85. Stripes or solids? Solids 86. Bagels or muffins? muffins 87. Whole wheat or white? Wheat 88. Beads or pearls? Pearls 89. Hardwood or carpet? hardwood 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? neutrals in clothing, bright colors otherwise 91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? older, unless I could be younger again but this time without mental illness 92. Raisins or nuts? Nuts 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? Nice restaurant 94. Black leather or brown leather? Black 95. Long hair or short hair? my hair currently goes down to the small of my back 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? the... second one???? obviously??? 97. Fiction or non-fiction? fiction 98. Smoking or non-smoking? i fucking love cigarettes but I will never let myself smoke an entire one cause I refuse to allow myself to get addicted 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? I try very very hard to think first 100. Asking questions or answering questions? answering, I love talking about myself, please ask me questions  
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notconsolation · 7 years
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The Russians
Or Part 2 As Requested By Avia @slampoety
'The Russians' is what I call them when I talk about them, but their real names (? actually now that I think about it those could easily be aliases they adopted when they fled the country) are Oless and Katya. 
Again, getting ahead of myself because when I walk in, he is the only one there. He ushers me in and I think we're both a bit confused. I'm not really sure what this place was and he doesn't know how I found them. He says so and I say I'd followed the sign and that I'd been caught in a storm up the mountain. 'Ah yes' he says, like it's the beginning of a sentence, but doesn't continue. I take off my shoes and he shows me into a small room with a bed and a cupboard squeezed into it. I ask him how much it is for the night and he does that thing where you roll your lips into your mouth and hold up a finger as if something has just occurred to you, and grabs a leaflet that's lying on the table. 'She usually takes care of... this stuffs. Ah yes, here,' and he shows me the part where it says: €16 per night.
'Oh, right,' I nod and do my being as nice and polite as possible because you're a stranger and you have the power here smile. I mean €16 is also better than I'd hoped for, so I am actually happy, but exhausted and aware that this setup is vaguely sketchy. Still dripping.
'So,' he says, gesturing around a bit, and I drop my stuff and we leave the room. 'Toilet is here' as he leads me next door, 'shower is here' as he leads me one further down, 'and kitchen is here' as we turn in the narrow hall to enter the kitchen, which also contains a large round table covered in a laminated plastic tablecloth patterned with fruits in a red-through-green colour palette.
'Sit down, sit down! Are you hungry?'
'Oh,' I smile, still dripping. I've sat down now but I know there'll be a wet mark when i stand up. 'Thank you but I'm good.' I realise as I say this that it's a really weird thing to say? To a non-native english speaker it must seem odd: 'I'm good' yeah okay cool I'm glad but what does that mean in terms of whether you would like some food or not.
But he gets that I'm saying no and does the something just occurred to me finger thing 'I know, I know,' he mutters as he turns and reaches for the fridge door. 'Ah yes' the Russian accent is strong and I'm really trying not to smile at it. He pulls out a bottle of dark liquid. Alas, my Slovenian is, uh.. how u say? terrible? non-existent?? but even so I can tell that whatever is on the label is not in the bottle. Cool. This is fine. Cool.
'This I have ancient Slovenian herbal, ah... medicinal,' he gets two shot-glasses out, 'very good, very healthy. It is very old and traditional mountain drink.' I'm smiling and making interested noises like the fucking white girl I am. 'Very healthy.'
He also gets out a bottle of vodka. A Big Bottle, mostly empty. Russians. 'We have to make a toast' he tells me. 'It is forbidden to drink without making a toast to something'
He pours me a large shot of the Very Healthy Unlabelled Dark Slovenian Mountain Liquid. Cool. This is fine.
'Okay. what should we toast?'
He looks out the window. 'Let us toast the weather and hope it gets better soon'
He puts the bottle down and pours himself a shot of vodka.
A snapshot of my brain at this moment in time: WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING WHITE GIRL, GOOD LUCK NOT GETTING DRUGGED AND SOLD HUMAN TRAFFICKING HAPPENS I SAW IT IN TAKEN, OR MAYBE TURNS OUT THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF SPLIT 2 YAY MOTHERFUCKER IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT HAVE FUN IM OUT.  
Hyperbole, maybe, but I'm tired, okay. And you have to admit that was a sketchy move on his part, not drinking the same mystery thing he gave me. So like a fucking champ/idiot white character in a movie, i take the shot. It tastes like anise, basically like a good version of jägermeister.
'Is like jägermeister, yes? but good'
'yeah,' I reply. 'It is. So, um.. Where are you from?'
'Ah, yes!' He tells me. I'm inclined to agree. He's pouring another shot and I'm not dead yet so why not. He sighs a bit. 'Long story, I'll tell you. What do we toast? Ah! We toast to your health'
We do, and drink.
'Okay,' he says. 'Okay,' he says, and starts telling me about how he got here. He's from Russia, as is Katya, who isn't there right now. I'm still not clear now on their relationship. They aren't married but I don't know how they ended up living together. It didn't feel right to ask. They came from Russia when Putin came to power, more or less. They don't agree with his opinions and they don't like the way he does things, and they knew that wasn't a point of view to be lived with comfortably in Russia, so they moved. I suspect he simplifies the story a little for me. We don't know each other and I don't have a right to any secrets he might want to keep. I ask him a little about whether Slovenian is similar to Russian, and how long they've been in this house, doing this Airbnb business. This is a stab in the dark, I have no idea whether it's an Airbnb or just a friendly guest house. I'm right, though, and he says they'd been there 3 years, that Slovenian was very difficult, and that the people are quite traditional and closed off. He tells me stories about getting to know his neighbours and being invited to birthday parties and plying people with alcohol. He seems nice. I say I asked about the language because I'll be learning Russian at uni next year. He is delighted and pours us another shot. The conversation turns to me and why I'm there.
He clearly thinks I'm mad for going up in the storm and from here on out he refers to me as a hero. Of course, this means we have to drink again, toasting heroes. We talk about the difference between travellers and tourists and about democratic socialism. We drink again to cats when they cat wanders in. I ask whether it's a boy or a girl and he shrugs and makes an 'eh' sound. 'It was a he and then it was a she and now... Nobody is sure.' I like that and I say so, so we drink to non binary cats.
At one point I sneeze and say I should probably go take a shower and get into dry clothes. He agrees and so I do. It feels heavenly. I fall onto my bed and think about the day for a bit. Then I hear voices in the kitchen, so I tiptoe back out. Katya is in there, now. She sees me and goes: 'ah!' and starts cutting up some watermelon to offer me. Oless, as I find out he is called, is making tea in an elaborately patterned tea set. It's tessellated in white and shades of blue and orange, with red and green accents. The cups don't have handles, and are basically just tiny bowls. Those are my favourite kind.
He turns. 'Would you like?'
I'm still hovering near the door, but Katya pulls me in and gives me watermelon. 'Yes please,' I say as I sit down. There's something on the stove, too. We drink tea and he tells me more stories. We was in the soviet army, at one point, and he got the tea set from an old friend in Uzbekistan. He tells me about the difficulty of buying bread during the occupation, first because people would not take their money, would just heap free food on them, then, later, because doors would shut and even friends would smile sadly and say they couldn't sell them anything.
The cat is aggressive. He likes me at first, but seems very prone to turning and biting for no reason. The only explanation Oless offers me is that it's a Russian cat. I still think about that cat a lot. It has seen shit, I'm sure of it.
Two other girls arrive in the kitchen. They're both American, travelling together. We exchange niceties etc etc etc tbh there's not much to say. We got along really well and a lot of alcohol was involved
He's still calling me a hero and now (thanks vodka) I feel like one. We've mowed through the vodka and have moved on to limoncello by the time the Australians come home around 23:30. Apparently they had some car trouble. Honestly I don't remember exactly how the night ended, only that we had some kind of Russian galette stuffed with mushrooms and sour cream, and that he brought out a box of fish pickled in brine with juniper berries and we all spent a good deal of time pulling out their intestines so we could eat them whole. It was a good night.
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