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#im not posting anything about anything on my better blog rn because i am full mess I am so so so sorry about it
rottingskunk · 1 year
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Whats the deal with hook ups and blind dates?
A demiromantic lesbian rambles: the blog
If i sound incoherent lets blame me waking up at a good early time(7am—).
Disclaimer: This is not meant to sound pretentious it is only my thoughts on the matter if you do these congrats have fun stay safe!
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Recently through the years i realized to myself i was part of the ace spectrum. I mostly identified with being demiromantic/sexual as well as greysexual. With this in mind you might have more context as to what I’m thinking about.
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For years i couldn’t wrap my head around the concept of blind dates. Other people seem to understand it better and sometimes have long term partners from it. Me? I just don’t see myself doing that. I want to be the one who chooses who i get to date not let someone choose them for me. I wouldn’t mind suggesting someone, i just wont always pursue them? Its not their fault in any means its just that I don’t have my head fully on the blind date thing.also i just feel bad if i don’t feel a connection between the person and i :((
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Hook ups, yey,,,? Im not gonna be too detailed on the spicier sides of this concept bc im unsure of tumblr censorship 😍! Anywho I also didn’t get these, still don’t. In concept in theory i understand it is for instant gratification, something to get with no strings attached. For me though I don’t feel the hype towards it? When i love or do that with someone it is with full passion,dedication and knowing them beyond an interaction or two. I think i would be in ruins if i tried doing this to myself knowing my passionate tendencies so i choose not to do it.This is most definitely the demisexuality / demiromantic side speaking rn.
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Consequently bc of that i end up feeling isolated? Detached? Unsure when people discuss their experiences with it. I lack the understanding or ability to wrap my head around the subject. Not because I’m grandiose and full of myself thinking “I am better than everyone else. I personally sleep with people I took the time to know while you peasants fool around.” This is not the mindset if anything I’m happy for those who partake in this granted ensure mutual safety and protection, it never hurts to be safe than sorry. I just know I won’t likely have those experiences to mutually relate to. In turn i feel desperate and longing to try those things but knowing full well i clash with those concepts most definitely, i stop myself.
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What was the point of this whole blog post? Nothing much really just spilling my thoughts on allosexual concepts i cannot grasp for myself for personal means. Is this gonna be thrown into the void? Most definitely but i hope someone relates to this post I suppose.Anywho have a lovely day everyone! This is ambrose signing off with a community gif🏃💨
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laaawliet · 3 months
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i am actually in fact extremely depressed LOL several people have asked me what my plans for 2024 are and i have no idea. idk how to plan, i dont feel comfortable thinking about the future. 10 years ago i was sure i was going to die and im still here and it doesn't feel like a good thing skjnjks i keep looking for people's approval and i'm still lonely as fuck and idk what to do, i really don't know if it would be better to literally die or if im overreacting skdjkjs idk if i should delete everything and throw my phone away and stop doing things so that i dont have to go through this fucking ordeal every few weeks. i havent had time to actually process things and im so tired of not being wanted and comparing myself and just being sad all the time lol and i HAVE to say lol because i have to lessen the thing obv .... ugh
it's been a while since i do my moping in here because it's gotten to the point where i know that 1. no one reads this (which is, again, something that makes me go "why do i want someone to read this?" etc) and 2. if someone reads it, they don't care? like objectively, what can anyone do for me anyway? lol i remember when i started this blog it used to crush me that everyone got asks and i never did (have grown to accept this as a reality, that's not even what this post is about). it made me so upset not figuring out what i needed to have to have people seek me out and want to interact with me. im the person that always searches others and i know i make people get used to that by being like that but at the same time i AM tired. and sad. it used to make me so upset that i ~tried so hard to be likeable and it obviously backfired. i've taken to reading stuff i used to write back then and i ache for the person i was and how i didn't see how normal and nice and even funny i was lol but i never made anything anyone found "worth" it and that was enough to make me feel like crap. i even gave up writing for 5 years because i was never going to be a person people enjoyed reading lol or paid attention to or whatever. i do care about the stupid numbers and i hate being like this but i seriously don't know HOW to stop caring about it. someone told me once maybe i should just stop writing if it makes me so miserable but i was more miserable when i didnt write. idk what the point of being alive rn is. my career needs me to be something im not or have money that i dont have. the world is full of shit. people keep dying all the time and i dont know, my thoughts are not in order im not doing good
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notcatherinemorland · 4 years
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hm. I am in the deep shit
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suguruverse · 3 years
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hi angel! i recently read your “being best friends with oikawa and iwaizumi” and i was wondering if you could do one for kuroo and kenma? thanks in advance, i love ur blog !!🥺
— BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH KUROO AND KENMA
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includes - kuroo tetsurou and kozume kenma
a/n - hi my love!! thank you so much for this request <33 i hope you like it!! also two post in one day who tf am i 
published date - 21/03/21
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- i swear you and kenma bout to make kuroo feel like a single dad to 2 kids
- Mr. kuroo is def the type to bring extra water bottles and lunches for you and kenma
- he texts the gc every morning and night to ask if you and kenma has eaten breakfast, dinner or drank any water
- both of these men keep and hoodie or sweatshirt in their locker and bag, just in case you need one
- you guys take the train together when going to school and back and kuroo always sits in the middle to let you and kenma rest on his big shoulders 
- cuddling with kenma when you’ve had a bad day
- you’re normally buried into his chest and his arms go over your shoulders to he can keep playing games and give you little head pats every 4 minutes
- sometimes when you just wanna have a chill day with kenma without kuroo, he will burst in kenma’s room and start yelling about how he demands to be more loved in the friendship
- you and kuroo have roasting battles all day everyday
- even if kenma is more reserved and distant than kuroo, that doesn’t mean that he won’t pick up your call at 3am because you couldn’t sleep, because he will
- they are the kings of giving head pats
- kenma cares and worries about you in a very silent way, so silent that you may not even realise, but he cares about you more than anyone
- the sleepovers are terrible and ill tell you why
- first because kenma doesn’t even sleep, he plays all night and doesn’t stop until you curl up next to him and snatch the game away
- secondly, kuroo snores, kicks, and talks so much in his sleep that you want to hit him every time
- one time you tried to cuddle him because you were cold and he full on kicked you in the stomach and it hurt so bad that you cried
- kenma just watched you kick around in pain, not really knowing what to do, so he slapped kuroo in the face to wake him up to deal with you
- you didn’t talk to kuroo for like a week
- when you guys hang out, it’s normally at someone’s house since kenma isn’t too fond of crowds
- but if you guys happen to go shopping or to the movies, kenma is the type of person to grab onto the hem of your shirt or sleeve so he doesn’t lose you
- but one time kenma disappeared into a gaming store and didn’t tell you or kuroo so ya’ll had to make an announcement for you and kuroo’s “baby”
- kenma was not amused
- copying of kuroo’s homework is more common than you think
- ya’ll literally don’t have any other friends except for the people on the volleyball team
- one time you complained to them that you wanted more girl friends and they laughed in your face
- i feel like kenma can’t really sleep without hearing you or kuroo’s voice so you guys always facetime before bed
- and if you can sing, kenma ‘forced’ you to sing a song/lullaby for him to sleep to
- kuroo also has moods were he HAS to see you and kenma like at all costs because he starts to get a little anxious without either one of you with him
- kuroo also has the habit to run up to you, pick you up and swing you around in a tight hug whenever he sees you
- you HAVE to go to their games. it’s basically a rule
- kenma acts like he doesn’t care whether or not you come to their games but he always tries a little bit harder when he see you in the crowd
- kenma loves it when you play games with him
- the volleyball team sees you a lot thanks to kuroo and kenma so the team is always trying to be your friend but kenma will kick them away and say that they’re annoying
- when you guys were little, a pact was made so that if you guys were still single by 30, you guys had to get married to each other
- you actually have a lot of matching things with kenma (because he like you more than kuroo)
- but once again, kuroo didn’t feel included so ya’ll went out and bought a bunch of matching things
- kuroo definitely calls your princess or ‘my love’ and kenma makes fun of him because he says that kuroo is so single that he has to call his best friend cheesy nicknames
- kenma just calls you by your name
gc name: bestie vibes only + kuroo
kenma: where’s y/n
kuroo: idk go find her
kenma: shut up i asked a question
kuroo: and i said that i dont know
you: HELLLLOOOOO I AM HERE
kenma: missed you
kenma: i can’t believe you left me alone
kuroo: im right here
you: sorry ken, i got caught up in something
you: you guys ready to go now?
kuroo: you smell different
kenma: you smell different
you: what do you mean? i didn’t do anything
kuroo: you smell like mens cologne 
kenma: its gross
kuroo: who have you been hanging out with????
you: no-one??? i dont think i smell any different
kenma: smells like axe 
kuroo: nah y/n, you’ve got to be kidding me
you: guys what?? stop being dramatic.
kenma: have you been hanging out with tora?
kenma: wouldn’t recommend it 
kenma: spending time with me is better
kuroo: us*
kenma: right. us
kuroo: anyways take your shirt off
you: okay stop stop. no. i don’t care if i stink. i’ll change when we get to kenma’s house
kenma: no, you ain’t coming into my house smelling like another guy
kenma: plus me and kuroo are busy rn
you: doing what?
kuroo: murder
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bitchiha · 4 years
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Kakashi and/or Yamato NSFW headcannons? I high key love ur blog btw 🥺✨❤
A/N: UHM YES LETS DOOOO THIS I LOVE YOU BTW AND THANK YOU!! <3 Yamato and Kakashi are like.. my favs. So thank you. I wrote for both of them!
Another side note: I decided to post some requests b4 my angsts bc Im almost done them and I can't neglect them anymore. I am the worlds biggest procrastinator, but I am trying my best.
✎ NSFW (Yamato, Kakashi)
Kakashi
I mentioned this before but both him and Yamato are touch starved. The only difference is that Kakashi needs it more. Like Yamato can control himself a little bit at least, but not Kakashi. Like if he’s gone on a mission longer than 3 days Kakashi is losing his mind.
Best horny Kakashi is horny Kakashi after reading his nasty books. Hands down. Man, it just gets him so worked up because he’s not imagining the characters in the books. Noooo. He’s imagining you and him.
Once when he was reading Icha Icha in bed he was reading a particularly nasty chapter I hope you know where this is going... Once the chapter was done he put the book down and looked over at you like all sly and shit. All the sudden he’s like “come sit on my face.” And the way he says it is so like.. idk how to describe it, but it’s like sly and cocky and curious all at once.
First time you ever sat on his face and it was the closest thing that you’ve ever gotten to heaven girl. Like you were seeing stars.
He’s into anything and everything tbh. Wants to try everything he reads in Icha Icha for himself. Which is amazing bc there’s always something new he wants to try. Everytime.
Loves pet names. Definitely calls you a whole dictionary full of them and they vary depending on what you two are doing exactly.
He likes giving oral a lot tbh. Like a lot a lot. It’s probably bc he knows he’s so damn good at it lmfoaoaoao. He’s read this stuff a hundred times over in his books, so he knows how his tongue should be moving and all that good stuff. Wants you to sit on his face all the time bc he likes how good it makes you feel. Also, likes when you are vocal.
Likes lingerie but he will have it off you in 0.5 seconds so he can drill your shit tbh. You’d have to swat his hands away from trying to peel them off, but you can’t keep them away for more than 5 minutes.
Such a tease. He won’t admit it, but he actually likes making you cry when you're getting it on lol. Just a little. It makes him feel like he’s living out a scene in one of his books and it makes him so much hornier. Like he’s probably denied you 10 times now and so you’re just a mess and he gets so carried away. But when he finally gives in it’s the best dick ever. Bye lol.
Will want to do sooo much nasty things in public. He’d actually be good at hiding what the two of you are doing though, for the most part. I don’t think he’d do anything super crazy though. Mostly things that work you up to get prepared for when you two go home.
Has definitely done it with you in a public washroom. Clamped his hand on your mouth so you wouldn’t get caught and girl he rocked your shit good.
Kakashi is both an ass and tits guy, but you know what he likes better? Thighs. Loves having them wrapped around him, straddling him, lol likes his face being between them and anywhere he can grip them tbh. Like even in public he’ll have a hand somehow on your thigh 24/7. Doesn’t matter if their chubby, small, whatever. He. loves. them. Also loves hips.
Doesn’t mind if you ever wanna take the lead. Go down on him after he comes back from a mission. Shower w him, take a bath with him, literally just do it. But take care of him good. He will repay you later.
I don’t think he’s loud. Probably likes giving you validation a lot, but you’ll only get some noises out of him. That doesn’t mean he isn’t enjoying himself bc he is, my goooosh he is.
However, after missions he’s just too tired to stop himself and he will get a lottt more vocal. Plus it’s his tired voice so it’s 10x more attractive. Lots of Groans.
So like I said, he may not be loud but look at his face. You can tell he’s enjoying himself by his facial expression. Like if his eyes are squeezed shut and his mouth is open slightly you are making him see stars. Or if he’s really focused and intent, that’s when he is doing something he just read about in one of his books and boy is he enjoying it. Orrr if hes got a cocky smirk that’s when you know he’s gonna tease the life out of you.
Has dealt with Naruto, Sakura, Sai and Sasukes attitude problems all day. So if you wanna try and give him some at home he will lack the patience. Will be so rough and you’ll like it, but it will hurt to sit down for a few days.
Has 0 self control if you wear skirts or dresses. Like he just wants to put his hands under it. You look so pretty in them too and he can’t stop staring. Has definitely left your skirt / dress on when he’s fucking you at least once.
CEO of making you blush. Gets you flustered all the time. He literally can never get enough of you. Sometimes you’ll just catch him giving you that stare. Or just like checking you out and you’re like: Kakashi we are in the middle of the village control yourself.
You really can’t get him to be jealous. You’ve tried everything and anything but he never gets riled up. He can make you jealous, but he doesn’t do it a lot. I think the only time you can really get him worked up like that is if you unintentionally make him jealous. If he knows you’re trying to, he won’t let it work. But if you don’t know it makes him so flustered. Like if you tell him you’re going on a 4 day mission with Yamato. He’ll be pissed lol. Why the fuck didn’t Lady Tsunade tell you two to go together?? Why you and tree boy?
Then all the sudden he’s making out with you in the middle of your kitchen. Muttering under his breath about how unfair that is. Like this man is gonna have to sit here for 4 days by himself while you’re out on a mission with Yamato?? Frustrated sex lol. Also will definitely leave hickeys. Have fun covering them up on your stupid 4 day mission with yAmATo. <3
Another thing; you’ve done it on every surface possible in your apartment. The kitchen table, the bathroom counter, the shower, every gosh darn wall. Probably even on a chair at your dinner table... What can I say. HES WHORE KNEE
Yamato
You will definitely be eachother’s first times. If you’re with him you’re with him for the long run. He isn’t gonna give himself to anyone like that. Nope, you’ll know you’re stuck with him once he starts to get intimate.
That being said, I don’t know why but I don’t think he’d be very self conscious about himself tbh. Like he’s touch starved as fuck already and so inexperienced so like.. now that he’s experiencing physical contact like he’s never had before my guy is short circuiting. Any touch from you feels wayyy to good for him and he could care a less about anything else when he gets going.
Also, he’s kinda loud - like not the type to scream lol but I mean like .. if you’re making him feel good (literally anything you do makes him feel good tbh), then you will know. Looots of groaning and grunts. Omggg and if he needs to keep really quiet he will probably muffle his moans by burying his face in your neck or tits lol.
I don’t think he’s the type to dirty talk too much or degrade at all. The only time he will really get into dirty talk, being rough and maybe some degrading is if you make him jealous. It only works if you use Kakashi for it and my god you’re asking for trouble if you do
Say something like “wow Kakashi you’re really strong,” or laugh at all his jokes and Yamato will seethe quietly. You’ve got to keep that up for a while to get him super worked up and when you do.. HE WILL DEFINITELY GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT.
When you get home he drilllls your ass girl. Like you’re all teary eyed because he’s been denying your orgasms and now he’s drilling you into the mattress oml. You’re like begging him and sobbing and he’s so fucking mad lol like he doesn’t care
“Stop crying. You thought everything Kakashi said was just so funny tonight, so go ahead and laugh, laugh like how you were laughing with him. Not so funny now is it?” “Think he can make you feel like this? Didn’t think so.”
Will feel so bad in the morning. Like he’ll actually feel so bad. Will make up for it in any way you ask him too. You liked it though and you riled him up on purpose, you won’t tell him though. You 1000/10 do it again. Kisses you all over to make up for it.
Everytime you do, you can’t look Kakashi in the eye for a good week bc you’ll only think of Yamato drilling your ass.
Praise kink 10/10. He will probably be so depressed and will lowkey cry if you degrade him. What he likes is praise. Fucking fuel that mans ego and be a vocal for him too ;) he likes knowing that he’s rocking your shit good.
CALL HIM CAPTAIN like he’s not really into being called sir or daddy or anything like that but my lord.. if you call him Captain.. ugh. It gets him everytime. Also darling too.
Uhm he realllyyy likes when you take care of him after missions. Especially if it’s a long mission or one with Team 7 because that shit stresses him the fuck out. He’ll have so much frustration he’ll need to get out by the time he comes home.
Perch your ass on the couch and wait for him. Bonus if you cooked him food first. Or if you wanna run a shower for him while he eats. He will insist you join him.
Also... He’s not slick at all when he introduces ideas like that, he probably says it bluntly like.. “y/n.. I really want to take a shower with you right now.” and his face would get all red too lol
But after some missions he’s just way too tired to fuck your ass up. This is usually like after most of his missions with Team 7. He will still somehow manage to be horny tho. Like he’s been gone for days and had to deal with moody teenagers the whole time and he would really love if you just sucked his dick rn. That always reallyyy gets him going. Probably will cum fast bc of how good it feels to him tho, but there’s a lot of it y’know. He’d also be loud too. Like too lazy to try and keep it down loud. Lots of groaning.
Like I said, he’s horny as fuck. Literally being around you just turns him on sometimes. Even at home. Like If you wear a tank top with no bra when you’re lounging around, he’s already horny. Short shorts? Hor-fucking-ny!! Sometimes he’ll get embarrassed and hide it from you, but let’s be real you feel the same way about him so it’s fine
Titty guy 100%. I’m sorry but like if you have big tits don’t expect him not to bury his face in them. Always gives them extra attention. Likes when your riding him and their bouncing. Wear Lacey bras, he loves them so much and he will keep them on the whole time so he can just admire it on you.
He doesn’t like the idea of doing anything in sexual in public. He has a reputation to uphold and he is not about to throw it out the window like that no matter how much he wants too. Its frustrating sometimes bc like you could be walking around the village together and he gets a good glimpse of your ass and now he’s thinking some nasty things. Then he’s got a really uncomfortable hard on to hide till you get home.
He gives you splinters by accident sometimes. Like idk how. Especially if youre sucking him off. His hands are gripping your shoulders and you feel a prick on your collarbone and you yelp. He’ll apologize profusely, but he can’t control it when he feels like this so it happens sometimes. You get used to it though. Won’t admit it but he doesnt even try to control it if his dicks down your throat bc.. when you yelp it feels reallyyy good.
I’ve always had a thing for Yamato.. so I kinda went off on this LOOL <3
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fiisheyes · 2 years
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ok im trying to catch up on tag games .. @geo-bby💕 tagged me to answer these questions i think ive been tagged in this by other people but i cant find it rn so uh if u tagged me in this <3 thank u thank u mwah
why did you choose your url?
it used to be fish-eyed-idiot and i really liked the fish eye part of it but i didnt want to call myself something negative anymore because i realized it came from a unhealthy place so i changed it.. i think fisheyes was taken but two iis is cooler anyways
any side blogs?
no .. i make them and then immediately delete them afterwards
how long have you been on tumblr?
june 2020 not that long.. i mean i used to come here every now n then earlier but i hadnt made an account or anything
do you have a queue tag?
i dont get queues u guys are weird
why did you start your blog in the first place?
to reblog gorillaz art ..........
why did you choose your icon/pfp?
saw one of those icon maker posts..... idk i usually didnt care particularly but miki <33
why did you choose your header?
uh i like rain i was going for green.. googled green rain gif ooo pretty.. ....
what’s your post with the most notes?
last summer i visited my grandma and she got out like 4 gigantic boxes of photos shed took over the years... me+my sibling+my mom got to go thru them and pick out ones we wanted because she did not want any of them.... mom did not want the really messy looking ones but some of them looked sooo amazing so i saved a bunch (theyre taped up in my room now) and i thought they looked cool enough to post and i did n yeah....
how many mutuals do you have?
basically everyone who follows me is a mutual.. i did not realize how many i had but then one day i tried to go thru all my mutuals blogs and i barely scratched the surface.... very strange experience
how many followers do you have?
340·
how many people do you follow?
727 i think
have you ever made a shit post?
i dont get what counts as a shit post .... does anyone on here post not shit
how often do you use tumblr?
during online school it was chronic....... im getting better but i might have to deactivate at some point because just logging off does not cut it
did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?
i am very very bad about talking to anyone on here let alone fighting with them
how do you feel about the ‘yOu HaVe tO rEbLoG tHiS’ posts?
depends.?
do you like tag games?
yes
do you like ask games?
yes yes but i will get a bunch of asks and then answer 2 of them + then abandon the rest.... my inbox is full of deactivated blogs saying "1+16 for the asks!!"
which of your moots do you think are tumblr famous?
i have cool mutuals i dont think any of them are tumblr famous but sometimes they have big posts..
do you have a crush on a mutual?
dont talk to any of them hows that supposed to work...... dang ill say hello to them and well talk for 4 minutes then i never say anything to them ever again.......
tagging @micemirls @yknowhatimean @indierokkerss
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shorkbrian · 3 years
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ASKS
casual sk answering time!!!
If you don’t see your ask, it’s because I’m saving it to use as a reminder to write a Drabble/thirst/fic!
As always, if you don’t want to see these types of posts from me, block the tag #shorkbrian answers a lot of asks
No particular order lol I just got stressed cause my inbox is hecka full and it’s hard for me to find stuff lol.
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ahh I am trying so hard to get better at writing!! If anyone has any tips lmk fr PLEASE god bless u
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I HAVEN’T SEEN JJK YET SAJNFJFN I WANT TOOOOOOOO
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I don’t like responding to praise it scares me
(I try my best bc I appreciate and care for everyone and anyone who talks to me. I literally would stab myself in the leg 4 u I'm not joking <3 )
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Sweaty I will write for anything I know the characters of I am so horny all the time this is me
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Yeah Shinsy and Aizawa would totally adopt your pet if it’s a cat. they’re chill like that. There was this one Levi fic I read where he kidnaps u but he brings along ur kitten and it’s SO SOFT (but the smut is what drew me to it remember first and foremost I have a high libido)
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Bro Shouto in general he just make me wanna 
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Hey hey it’s all good guys! No worries! I can’t ever say no to people lol I’m sorry
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Don’t you dare talk down to yourself like that!!!! It’s okay to not know stuff lol sometimes u just gotta like give it a second to sink in while you think about it yknow? If anyones dumb it’s me. I had an IQ test done once and I got an F.
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That shall be done, do not worry!
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So, I don’t have like a “folder” folder lol I just use Pinterest bro. it’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free. I’m unoriginal and trashy but that’s my brand and who I am as a person so
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You’re so very sweet!! I appreciate your kind words so so much bro. This is totally not crossing a line, dw about it, I like to think that I’m chill lol. (just don’t be surprised if I take over and overshare abs myself for 8 hrs lolol)
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Me pretending that fic doesn’t exist
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fr I don’t know where the story would go from there man. All it would be is just like sex scenes and idk there’s only so many ways to have sex lol. but ty for supporting me with your lovely words! 
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Anything?
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girl.... your standards..... pick them up sweetie they fell in the trash!!!
(Ajlsdljsa I’m sorry I don’t know how to accept compliments like a normal person I swear I’m trying to get better at it tho I promise I do)
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Dis is u
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Never babe I only do wrongs
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I don’t know how to respond or talk to people im sorry
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I’m actually being very unhealthy rn..... but it’s fine cheesecake counts as meals so
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Me jus tryna enjoy some liquid while my Brian screeches at me abs all the stuff I have yet to accomplish in life
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I hate having my Brian be mean 2 me I’m just tryna vibe w u guys and answer asks and my Brian is like “get into a fight with one of them over compliments do it”
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Maybe bc I’m not doing any of it for profit? I don’t have to worry about legal repercussions? idk who knows
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It’s on Spotify so it means that it has my name on it, sorry. Also I hate sharing things that I’ve made w ppl this blog is scary enough lol
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I don’t know where the story would go, sorry. This isn’t a story that looks like it’ll have continuations anytime soon. 
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You making a fun joke about NNN to Bakugou vs u getting railed over every possible surface in the house
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Awaso! you should DM me sometime dude! I’m not making fun of you, that’s not my jam.
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you’re so very sweet, like I said!! DM me!!
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I’m scared what does this mean
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shyung-shoes · 4 years
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tagged by the absolutely wonderful @kyunsies <3333 (i didnt know u changed ur url till this post!! its v cute!!)
20 questions!!
1. what do you prefer to be called name wise?
my full name is jillian but everyone calls me jill (except my family, especially my mom) i love nicknames tho but have never really had one beyond jill so if u give me a nickname ill die
2. when is your birthday?
aug 28
3. where do you live
east coast babyyyy
4. three things u are doing right now?
procrastinating on an assignment, watching a drama (while you were sleeping), and ignoring the basket of laundry i need to put away
5. four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?
apink, gwsn, astro, april!! im still very new to all these groups tho so if anyone has any content/music recs, please lemme know :D
6. how's this pandemic been treating you?
it was a lot harder at first w/ the sudden transition from college to home. i was super happy at school and it was rough on my brain to be back home. but now ive adapted more and am doing better! i cant wait to go back to school though god
7. a song u cant stop listening to right now?
gonna reveal the extremes of my music taste but uh after the bloom (alone) by gwsn and bonfire by childish gambino. also without me by eminem. idk i think ive been feeling very angry/annoyed so rap is just a good way to get it out. and ive been fuckin so hard w/ gwsn’s discography that i had to put them on here
8. recommend a movie
tune in for love! truthfully, i prefer watching tv to movies but i watched this the other day and really enjoyed it! very cute and the ending was an actually satisfying ambiguous ending which is rare i think. its on netflix :P
9. how old are u?
18- im almost always the baby among my friends :// and i think im the baby on here a lot too
10. school, university, occupation, other?
im a rising sophomore in college and currently working as a dance teacher and waiting to hear back about an internship that’s actually in my field (event managment)
11. do u prefer heat or cold?
cold! i run hot naturally so i overheat super easily and i hate that feeling of sweating and being lightheaded. winter fashion also is much more my speed with boots and big jackets and darker lip colors
12. name one fact others may not know about u
im in a sorority! i think one or two people may know on here but i dont talk a lot about it. gamma phi baby (also @kyunsies youre only 4′11?? a baby!!)
13. are u shy?
i wouldnt call myself shy, im just anxious so im much more quiet when i meet someone for the first couple times. once im comfy w/ someone, my personality really comes out for all its dramatic glory
14. do u have preferred pronouns?
she/her
15. biggest pet peeve?
almost all my pet peeves have to do w/ eating lolol cause i get really bad anxiety and sensory overload from things like chewing sounds. so when people eat with their mouths open or let their silverware scrape across their teeth frustrates the hell out of me. the last one feels very specific but it irritates me yeet
16. what is your favorite ‘dere’ type?
tsundere or dandere i guess?? when a character starts to open bc of their love interest... i love it. ESPECIALLY when that character then becomes more open w/ other people because of their love. this also probably explains my natural tendency to love scorpios i think
17. rate your life 1-10, 1 being rlly crappy and 10 being the best it could ever be
i think im a solid 7 rn! which is honestly a lot better than i wouldve given it a month ago so thats a plus. im struggling w/ some mental health things rn but honestly, im pretty content with the way things seem to be unfolding for me
18. what’s your main blog?
this one! its not my actual main blog but this is the only one i use, tumblr just wont let me make this my main bc its dumb
19. list your side blogs and wha they’re used for?
i had a voltron side blog back in 2017? i think? but i havent watched the show in years bc its problematic as fuck i just didnt realize it back then
20. is there anything u think people need to know about u before becoming friends with u?
i am an extremely inconsistent responder- i am the epitome of the will respond in 2 seconds or 2 days thing but i will always respond to your message at some point. if this is about friends irl, its that i always have an earbud in and thats not an exaggeration- listening to music always makes me less anxious so i constantly just have an earbud in in case i feel myself get jittery. so i promise i am paying attention even if it doesnt look like it- im top tier at being able to pay attention to a song and a conversation
ill tag... @wennjunhui @leexchan @iiasha @lovechwe @1of1orbit @agemnor(theres ofc no pressure!!! <33)
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bma-2020 · 4 years
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Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.
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deadpooly · 5 years
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Rules: answer the questions, then tag a few people you want to know better
I was tagged by @ohthedreamsofeuphoria who wants to know me better! Thank you so much!!<3000
Nickname: i currently do not have a nickname because my real name is one syllable long and the people i know are not creative dskfhksdkhsdhg jk jk.
Zodiac Sign: virgo! same as zendaya!
Height: 5′7″ and that is rounded to the nearest inch.
Hogwarts House: ravenclaw!
Last thing googled:
Favorite musicians: ajr, queen, ed sheeran, ramones, idk its various from moment to moment
Song stuck in my head: Mo bamba (dont hecking judge me it just popped into my head and cheesus its annoying, and pretender by ajr)
Following: anything marvel, iron dad, stony, winteriron, peter parker centric, tony stark centric like blogs, or if i love ur marvel url, currently i follow 196 blogs who get the displeasure of having me watch over their posts.
Followers: idk? marvel fans? because i post a lot of random shish (all marvel tho). this was originally like a peter parker gen z blog but then it got out of hand and now peopole have to deal with my ships as well soo oop. and 315 people put up with me.
Do I get asks: hmmmm sometimes? a few maybe every month here and there.
Amount of sleep: listen my sleep schedule is messed up i- *starts snoring* jk jk maybe 2-6 hours and sometimes i will go a full 13 hours like once a month.
Lucky number: 8, 17, and i had another one but i cant remember. edit i have been assigned the lucky number of 94 by @demi-god-witch who i love and thank dearly.
Wearing: plain black polyester shirt with infinity war short-shorts but when i have to “wake up” i will either put on my black hockey team sweatpants with my hockey shirt or a fluffy pink knit long sleeve with white jeans if im feeling risky, because i never wear pink.
Dream job: basically a scientist. or an author. that would be lit af
Dream trip: i think i said the color factory in new york because there is a child in me, also i wanna see the new york rangers play. or some place in london!
Instruments: oof i know little instruments but: piano, guitar, flute, those are the main ones, and there are a few others im okay at. i can also play the avengers theme on my violin!
Languages: english, a very very small bit of french (cause im canadian and should prolly know a bit), learning spanish and russian but the duolingo owl is out for me rn so if this doesnt get posted, u know what happened. wait. no. i havent told u guys and gals about the owl so u wouldnt know, so why would i say u would know what happened? idk im just being stupid.
Favorite song: pretender, three-thirty, 100 bad days all by ajr, dont stop me now by queen, wake me up by avicci, if i cant have you by shawn mendes, and last but totally first in my heart is every single avengers soundtrack by alan silvestri because those song totally slap, and if u havent heard them then what are u doing here? y’all need to listen to “A Promise” (a1) and “Portals” (a4) and  “The Real Hero” (also a4)
Random fact: despite my many academic achievements that include top grades outta the class, and honors with distinction since grade 8, i am in fact not intelligent and am a very stupid person who can only quote vines and read fics if told to be smart. tldr i am very unintelligible and definitely stupid with an IQ of -4
Aesthetic: water/nautical things, red, or space and galaxy or sunsets.
tagging: @latinxavenger @theunknown259 @demi-god-witch @keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars @im-ironman and everyone who follows me!! I want to get to know y’all better so dont be afraid to say i tagged you!!!<3000
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potter-inthe-tardis · 5 years
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I was tagged by @jessi-in-blackhole thank you for tagging me!!!!! 
rules; answer twenty one questions and then tag twenty one blogs you’d like to know better !
Name: You all can call me TT (it’s not my actual name but its close to it and its a nickname a lot of my irl friends call me) 
Star sign: Capricorn
Height: 5′ 5
Last film I saw: I think it was Dumplin 
Favorite musician/band: Two Door Cinema Club, Arctic Monkeys, Mitski, Got7 
Song stuck in my head:��I’m listening to music rn so the songs that are play are the songs stuck in my head for the moment, so rn it’s I Don’t Wanna Be Anywhere Else by The Jungle Giants  
Other blogs: i have one other active blog and 2 inactive ones, the active one is a kpop one (iwasntplanningonlikingkpop) the inactive ones, one is a like aesthetic/hipster one the other is one dedicated to Ong Songwu from Wanna One. 
Do I get asks: occasionally, maybe about one every couple weeks, or a hand full if i reblog one of those ask post. but l really love getting asks even if they are totally random. 
Blogs following: don’t judge me but 1,924 :/ in my defense when i started tumblr i followed just about every blog i encountered, and i have tried going thought and following inactive blogs but it’s a lot of work so :/  
What am I wearing: a red hoodie from when i was on my volleyball team in elementary school (it still fits cuz i was a big pre-teen and its still super comfy) and red sweatpants, they arent the same red tho, the pants are more maroon-ish. 
Dream job: television show writer/show runner/director 
Dream trip: To go to Germany, South Korean, China, and Australia. And also to go back to London, Paris, and Venice.  
Play any instruments: I kinda play Guitar 
Languages: English only, but I’ve been trying to learn other languages, my main focus has been German, French, and Korean, and i probably know Korean the most of those three, but still like I only maybe know like 3% Korean. 
Favorite food: Pizza and Sushi 
Favorite songs: Of all time, Something Good Can Work by Two Door Cinema Club, Veiled In Grey by Mystery Jets, and Perfection as a Hipster by God Help The Girl. and current faves, Simon Says by NCT 127, A.D.T.O.Y by 2PM, and whatever songs Vampire Weekend is gonna release any day now lol.  
Random fact: I’m left handed, and when i was in 7th grade I did a while science fair project on it called, is it harder for left or right handed people, because I was bitter that the world was made for right handed people. And in my elementary school only 5 people per class got into the schools official science fair where you showed off your project and got to compete for prize, and i was one of the 5 kids in my class to get in, with that project, and then one of the judges told me that i should have had the calculations in the metric system, even thought it was like a social experiment so it had calculations like ‘how may people thought this...’ or whatever. so how was i supposed to put that in metric system form, its been like 10 years (omg its been like ten years?!?) but im still confused on how i could have done that, and im still bitter. also i didnt win anything but i expected that.    
Im tagging: @heichoumama @pieces-of-silverwing @raiseuptoyourabilityy @neon-cowboys @pinkflosstaeyong @sshes-thunderstorms @hazelnutbread @black-infinity-parked-outside @qxeeralien @radio-freedunmovin @arcticrachael @pleasingbutts @majorquepena @imaginationofacrazyfangirl @walcahtt @silver-jews @fragranceofintegrity @claaaap and obviously you dont have to do this if you dont want to!!!!
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franeridart · 6 years
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*SOBS* IM JUST SO GLAD YOURE BACK
Aw thank you !!!!! It’s really just thanks to the past couple of days of cooler weather tho, ngl hahaha the earth has been indulgent to me, this past week!
Anon said:I really liked that wgole bakushima gem thing! What would bakugou do if kirishima somehow got corrupted and couldnt reverse it? (Without the other diamonds)
Thank you for liking it!!!! And I guess he’d just go ask the other diamonds? Well, he would never let it get to that, but if it were the only option it’s not like he’d leave Kiri like that!
Anon said:Quick, someone put a flashlight on diamond!Kiri
He’d be shinier than Aoyama and Hagakure using her special move put together !!!!!!! v pretty~
Anon said:your kiribaku gem AU inspired me so much that i’m finally watching steven universe just so i can understand it better because what i did understand was that i loved it
OH MAN I hope you’ll enjoy it!!!! It’s a bit silly and all over the place through the first season, but try to give it time !!
Anon said:Hi! I went and checked out your fan art for Kuroko no Basket and I absolutely adore AoKaga! Your AoKaga works make me so happy! I love them all!
Ohhhhh man thank you so much !!!!!!!!!! it’s super old stuff tho how did you even find it hhhhh haha
Anon said:Hello hello! here w bad news a instagram page posted your art and i know you dont like repost so im informing you. The page is kags.fujoshi and it was posted july 23
Yeh I know, I’ve been trying to report it and the other one I’ve been being told about but instagram won’t let me submit the thing so I guess this is how things are and I’ll just die mad about it since instagram likes to make things as hard and impossible to me as it can
Anon said:Bless your art
Thank you ;;;;;
Anon said:Omg literally your kiribaku Steven universe crossover is so fucking perfect thank you for blessing us with it; I’d love to see more if you have anything or feel like ever doing more about it but I don’t want to pressure you or anything, do what you want to do and what makes you happy :) Take care!
Ahhhhhh thank you so much!!!!! I’m super glad you liked it this much!!!!!!!
Anon said:✨Gentle reminder to take care of yourself today ✨
You too, anon!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:Everytime I see you upload new art I end up looking through and loving your entire BNHA Art tag. It’s so wonderful
gAH thank you so SO much!!!!!!!!!! don’t waste so much time on my blog, tho hahaha
Anon said:heya! I was just wondering if u had any short bakukiri one-shot fic recommendations. i prefer to read short things bc i have some learning difficulties and i was hoping u might know some good simple reads. Thanks! (
Aw man sorry but I really don’t have the time to make a rec list rn ;; if you’re fine with it this is the tag on AO3 filtered so that it shows only complete content with a max word count of 5000 starting from the one with most kudos going down, the first ones showing are all super good fics - in case you’re not okay with explicit content you can filter that too (if youre not okay with mature either just check that out as well) and to go further this is the tag excluding the fics tagged as tddk  cause that’s not what you’re looking for and the tddk and krbk fandom sure like to put each other in the listed relationships even if the fic isn’t about them (it excludes some krbk fics too but what can we do about that)
Anon said:ASDFGHKRNOFNE your last doodle killed me!!!! soft todoroki
AHHHHH I’m super glad you liked them !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;;;
Anon said:I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of your art, you beautiful gift you
Thank you smmmmm ;;;
Anon said:I am taking the SU story down for now. Please, let me know if I have your permission to post it, or if you don’t want me to. // And just to clarify - I’m not deleting the story out of spite or anything. I wrote it as a “get-well-soon” gift, but since you make it very clear you want to know how your art is used and that you must give your approval, I began to fear it would become a source of annoyance to you rather than something nice. I can put it back up if you want me to.
I don’t mind you writing the story or posting it, so if you wanna upload it again go for it! For future reference tho, if you’re in a rush to get an answer out of me (referring to the message where you asked if it was okay) your best bet is to go off-anon since those I always answer privately and as soon as I can. It can take me up to over a week to answer anon asks here, which I’d guess is sort of obvious? so seriously next time you’re in a rush to get an answer it’s better if you don’t go through the anon option!!
Anon said:HI I LOVE YOUR ART IT’S GORGEOUS AHHHHHHH
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
Anon said:How long does it take t draw one artwork for you?
Some things ten minutes, some things three days of work, it really depends on what I’m drawing? If it’s bw or colored, if it has a bg, if it’s a bust or a full body, if it’s one person or five, one drawing or a full comic, how used I am to drawing the character vs how new it is, how easy the clothes are and how many details there are on them - if you sent me an example I could specifically tell you how long it took me!
Anon said:is bakugo ticklish? what do u think?
Bakugou is ticklish but the immediate aftermath of tickling Bakugou is to be blasted into kingdom come so maybe better not to tickle him unless you’re Kiri and can protect yourself
Anon said:Bakukirikami is some good stuff my dude
It sure as heck is! Lately my old stuff for them is getting a bunch of new notes, I’m assuming people are getting into it thanks to the anime haha the magic of the license exam my doods
Anon said:hey I hope I don’t sound creepy but, I just want to say that your art really makes me happy and that you’re one of my favorite artist out there. So even if somtimes you feel like your art sucks I want you to know that I think it’s beautiful! Hope you’re doing well!
You don’t sound creepy at all!!!!! thank you SO MUCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:i live for ur kamisero art just saying
I haven’t drawn much of that, have I? I’m glad you like it tho!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!
Anon said:Mako and Tai ♥️♥️
!!!
Anon said:This isn’t an ask, just that I love your art style and it reminds me of a beautiful and cute point and click adventure, “Harvey’s new eyes ” and “Ednas break out” Its very cute and pretty just like your art style and I love both ^^
Oh man thank you!!!
Anon said:Q U O R K
I honestly can’t even remember if this is just a random ask or if it was referring to something specific, ngl (if it’s the second, sorry about my memory being like this orz)
Anon said:Gah I keep missing preorders! I’ve only ever really wanted 2, and each time, don’t have any money, til after they’re done 😢 oh well, I guess. Hope you’re doing well!
If you’re referring to the takemyhand zine, preorders are still going tho!!! and thank you!!!!
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hallucinosims · 5 years
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Hi here’s the get to know me tag let’s get to knowing
I was tagged in this by @gunthermunch
125 questions under the cut, if you do decide to read i suggest getting a snack first
I tag @emovatore @humanitys-shortest @liliithvatore if you haven’t done it yet
1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Elio
2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Lee and Leo are the go-tos in real life but I get called Hall on here and I think that’s a rad nickname too
3. BIRTHDAY? Feb 5th
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? I am a slut for the Percy Jackson series and Leo Valdez was one of the reasons why I started going by Leo more often then my full name
5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Yes yes absolutely yes. One, earth really can’t be the only planet in a universe with infinite possibilities to have life on it, you know? And ghosts is more like a spirit thing.
6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? oooh fuck me up this is a hard one uhhhhhh Classic author probably Edgar Allen Poe but Contempoary I’d say Tony Kushner
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? the Musical Theatre station
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? I don’t really like... food. I don’t enjoy it. But I guess I like savory over sweet
9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? neat
10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Liar by Queen or Greek God by Conan Gray
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? I-Cunt-tic, pronounced like iconic but... you know
12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? Please Never Fall in love again Ollie MN
13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Kidding, that Jim Carrey tv show that premiered this year. Beautifully edited and told story
14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? I’ve seen Bohemian Rhapsody 6 times this month alone so probably that on wards
15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yes
16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? dying in the same place i was born
17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my empathy
18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? the depression (tm) 
19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? idk, i’m not really an animal person
20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall
21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nah
22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? playing in the ika playscape
23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? i have quite a few best friends but when im at school/work then my good friend Julio
24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? a very doe eyed dark brown
25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? i re-dyed my hair black recently so let’s go with that
26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my mom
27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my dad
28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? myself
29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? going to denmark to be a farm gay on my semester off
30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? currently Sims, Queen, and Falsettos (the musical)
31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? i didn’t have cable but there is no way in hell i’m saying cyberchase so, Mia and Miguel
32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? Julio
33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? very
34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? none that i can think of
35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT?i actually really enjoy both
36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims
37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? True West, it’s a really good play
38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? ...Bohemian Rhapsody for the 6th time
39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? most stringed instruments i can figure out pretty quickly but i’m best at guitar and piano
40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? humans
41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? i follow over 5k people i don’t even know who i follow
42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? basically Kirby. I want the power to take others powers
43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in michigan on rainy afternoons in my bunk bed with my laptop on my lap. Or like, the floor of a bookstore
44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? loaded question
45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? I used to do competitve dance, competitve cheer, biking, and volleyball
46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? watah
47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? like a week ago to my grandma, she likes getting post cards in the mail
48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? i used to be. not so much anymore
49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? people who saunter. We got places to be fellas
50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? yup!
51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? i’m to anemic to be either 
52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a performer
53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? i’m actually not to into media that take place in other... wait i take it back i wanna live in Hobbiton
54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? breathing
55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? ehh sometimes
56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? It’s a part of my career so hopefully
57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? i’m skippin school rn
58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? manhattan Lower East Side
59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? Manhattan’s Lower East Side. I live in the Upper West Side right now and it’s aight but it’s not the LES
60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? nope
61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? i just dont sleep
62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER?sunrises
63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? nah
64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? earbuds
65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yee
66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? anything
67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Tony Kushner
68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yee and before you ask my fave is Deadpool
69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? when people be on some bullshit
70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real book
71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? IN High School I loved history
72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? one sister who is ten years older than I am
73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? ... iced coffee despite it being 30 degrees out
74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′3
75. CAN YOU COOK? I’d like to think so. Wish I had a oven tho
76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? music, my family (sometimes) I’m trying to love myself so let’s throow that one in there
77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? people who stroll/saunter, when people are on their bullshit, dark chocolate
78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? male “friends”. But, I know a lot more girls that I keep up with more often.
79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? lesbian
80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? Manhattan, Upper West Side
81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Me mam
82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Thursday in my Theatre class but we were all crying so i’ll let it slide
83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? i don’t really watch anyone consistently
84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? i do
85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? tinder
86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? prety solid i love them both even if my mom hates my sexuality and threatened locking me at home when i came out to herelol
87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? italian
88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT?Copenhagen! I’ve wanted to go to Denmark since I was ten
89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 7
90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nah son
91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? defenitly a lot less than my story style insists lol. I do believe in God tho
92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? LOADED QUESTION BECAUSE I WANNA EXPLORE BOTH 
93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? ehhhhhhhh no
94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? strawberries and some medicine that i can’t remember the name of
95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yes i’m a lesbian it’s what we do
96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nah
97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Literally anytime i’m wrong about soomething. I love being exposed, put in my place, roasted.
98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? Forest so I can find my mans... my MOTH mans
99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? you know what you want, don’t let your concerns get in the way of your ambitions
100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? Yes
101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Ravenclaw
102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? Deadass I talk to myself more often than otherpeople
103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? introverted
104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yee
105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give everyone I can think of second chances because i’m a forgiving sone of a bitch and yet they continue TO BE ON SOME BULLSHIT
106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? THat be mine i may be forgiving by moral compass be broke as hell and I haven’t eaten in like 3 days because i’m so broke
107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? When I’m answering this question for a job application i sure do
108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? tragicallu
109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes
110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have 5 holes in my ears and a nostreil piercing
111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Mark Cohen or LEO VALDEZ
112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yes 2, one chest, one forearm. But that’s only because I don’t have money i need more
113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? move to new york
114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yes and she’s a bitch
115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? both
116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? eventually I feel like I would make a pretty solid kid
117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my dad
118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? Being high for three days straight
119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? i just finished pulling one
120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black as you can see by my simself  i really do dress pretty much only in black because i aged poorly out of my goth phase
121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? yeeee
122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? Yep, Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, Trade Show stuff, probably for school or local news a few times
123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 18
124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? Know in your soul like your blood knows the way from your heart to your brain, know that you’re whole. - HEdwig and the Angry Inch
125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? This is a really boring last question but savory but if you made it this far i’ll expose myself a little more. I’m black and Jewish, I go to a performing arts Conservatory, and this took me so long to answer because I hooked up with someone in Brooklyn last night and i had trouble getting back to my dorm.
8 notes · View notes
lashydsdomain · 5 years
Note
1-154. you wont
bitch
bet i will
1: Full name
lashy. das all you get
2: Age
19
3: 3 Fears
stairs, glass breaking, not being able to get ahold of someone
4: 3 things I love
my ocs uwu, my friends, my fucking tablet goddamn
5: 4 turns on
not comfy sharing on tumblr
6: 4 turns off
ill say ill come back to this one then leave this in the post
7: My best friend
rn i would say it’s probably blitztrolls
8: Sexual orientation
pan uwu
9: My best first date
ahh.... i havent had an in person first date still ;u;
10: How tall am I
5′5″
11: What do I miss
not being stressed eue;;;
12: What time were I born
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
13: Favourite color
pale blu
14: Do I have a crush
ye u//w//u
15: Favourite quote
you know these things are asked and my mind goes blank
16: Favourite place
the woods just after it’s rained
17: Favourite food
im a basic bitch and just gonna say mac n cheese
18: Do I use sarcasm
no absolutely not. nope.
19: What am I listening to right now
ambles playlist- it’s on ocean eyes by billie elish rn
20: First thing I notice in new person
prooooobably like. their face? typing style if it’s online
21: Shoe size
uhhhhhh i think like a womens 10?
22: Eye color
blue/green
23: Hair color
dark brown
24: Favourite style of clothing
loose and baggy because if i cant be comfortable what’s the point
25: Ever done a prank call?
HELL YEAH
27: Meaning behind my URL
lashyd was one of my first fantrolls and i liked the way it sounded
28: Favourite movie
mmmmm either labyrinth, princess mononoke or annihilation
29: Favourite song
no clue my friend im bad at picking
30: Favourite band
same as above sweats
31: How I feel right now
excited but tired
32: Someone I love
passivetrolls u//w//u/
33: My current relationship status
in a relationship!
34: My relationship with my parents
love my dad, kinda dislike my mom
35: Favourite holiday
christ mass
36: Tattoos and piercing i have
none, im so scared of needles ;u;
37: Tattoos and piercing i want
mmmmmaybe something stupid and simple on like my ankle?? i dunno what tho sweats
38: The reason I joined Tumblr
another fandom and i got bored with homeschooling lmao
39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?
i dislike them but they have tried to contact me a few times before i blocked them
40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
not usually
41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
i dont text so ill go w discord and no i have not the last person i messaged was you shenk gdi
42: When did I last hold hands?
the 2nd ;u;
43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
7ish minutes
44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?
hellllllllllll no
45: Where am I right now?
room
46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
prooooobably my bf or my dad. hate alcohol tho
47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
loud but only w speakers
48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
only da
49: Am I excited for anything?
absolutely motherfucker im making new friends left and right
50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
i got two uwu
51: How often do I wear a fake smile?
:))))))) irl most of the time tbh
52: When was the last time I hugged someone?
last night
53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?
i would probably cry ugnfldkjfgslfdjg the last person i kissed was my bf wheezes
54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
i mean probably.
55: What is something I disliked about today?
ehhhh nothing bad has really happened today
56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
probably my friend from serbia uwu
57: What do I think about most?
ocs probably sweats
58: What’s my strangest talent?
burping on command? i dunno
59: Do I have any strange phobias?
glass shattering ouo;;;
60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
beh ind
61: What was the last lie I told?
calling myself a basic bitch lmao
62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
phone probably? video calls make me nervous
63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
hell yeah to both
64: Do I believe in magic?
hell yeah i yell tossing salt on all my rocks
65: Do I believe in luck?
yeee
66: What’s the weather like right now?
uhhh clear i think
67: What was the last book I’ve read?
Shibuya Goldfish
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?
nop
69: Do I have any nicknames?
lash, lashy, gremlin and then stupid relationship nicknames gldsfgjfgs
70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?
prooobably almost falling down some stairs at a con and chipping my shin and probably partly pulling my shoulder out of the socket
71: Do I spend money or save it?
i try to save but end up spending it ouo;;;;
72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?
nearly
73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?
there are some half customized MH dolls so i guess yeah
74: Favourite animal?
cat uwu
75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
drawing ambles trollcall pick
76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
satan stan obviously
77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
Here - Ancient Magus' Bride OP
78: How can you win my heart?
art of my ocs ngl
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
fuck if i knew
80: What is my favorite word?
probably fuck if you would ask my phone lmao
81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr
passivetrollsblitztrollstavvys-trollsfilibusterfrogwe-are-the-legion
82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
hey fuckers lets rumble
83: Do I have any relatives in jail?
not that i know of
84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?
teleportation ngl
85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
probably 87
86: What is my current desktop picture?
Tumblr media
87: Had sex?
sweats how about we move on
88: Bought condoms?
ye
89: Gotten pregnant?
hell no
90: Failed a class?
i think yeah
91: Kissed a boy?
yeeeeeeee
92: Kissed a girl?
nop
93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
does it count if we were indoors
94: Had job?
not yet wheezes
95: Left the house without my wallet?
ye
96: Bullied someone on the internet?
i dont think so i mgiht have when i was younger
97: Had sex in public?
n o
98: Played on a sports team?
ye!
99: Smoked weed?
ye.
100: Did drugs?
only weedles
101: Smoked cigarettes?
nop
102: Drank alcohol?
yes and i hated it
103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
nop
104: Been overweight?
ye
105: Been underweight?
nop
106: Been to a wedding?
nop
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
 every day p much
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
nop
109: Been outside my home country?
ye!
110: Gotten my heart broken?
;;;; yeah
111: Been to a professional sports game?
ye
112: Broken a bone?
possibly?
113: Cut myself?
if this is on accident then ya
114: Been to prom?
prom is a waste of time ngl just go to arbys
115: Been in airplane?
yeye
116: Fly by helicopter?
n o
117: What concerts have I been to?
blueman group and the 4th of july ones that play around here
118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?
yeeee
119: Learned another language?
bits and pieces
120: Wore make up?
yeah
121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?
nop
122: Had oral sex?
lets just skip the sex questions
123: Dyed my hair?
yeee
124: Voted in a presidential election?
ee
125: Rode in an ambulance?
nop
126: Had a surgery?
nop
127: Met someone famous?
yeye
128: Stalked someone on a social network?
god no
129: Peed outside?
this question is weird
130: Been fishing?
hell the fuck yeah
131: Helped with charity?
prrrrobaby?
132: Been rejected by a crush?
yeah ;u;
133: Broken a mirror?
i dont think so
134: What do I want for birthday?
money
135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?
NO
136: Was I named after anyone?
i was named after two people uwu
137: Do I like my handwriting?
i can barely read it lmao i hate it
138: What was my favourite toy as a child?
my stuffed tigger uwu
139: Favourite Tv Show?
fuck i dunno probably cyberchase or fetch i dont watch tv anymore lmao
140: Where do I want to live when older?
somewhere quiet but convenient
141: Play any musical instrument?
flute and violin
142: One of my scars, how did I get it?
i have a scar on my knuckle from making garlic bread ;u; wasnt even good
143: Favourite pizza toping?
banana peppers
144: Am I afraid of the dark?
nah
145: Am I afraid of heights?
mmmm at times
146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
yeah >w>;;;
147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
all the mc fuckin time
148: What I’m really bad at
telling people when im not up for something
149: What my greatest achievments are
being alive you fuckers cant beat me i won over hundreds of other fuckers and im here
150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me
Lets Not, Kids
151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery
buy so much cosplay shit and helping friends get what they need
152: What do I like about myself
im getting better uwu
153: My closest Tumblr friend
passivetrolls or blitztrolls wheezes
154: Something I fantasize about
being able to help my friends out of the places they are right now QuQ
155: Any question you’d like?
more questions for amble and my other girls!
2 notes · View notes
tylerwritez · 3 years
Text
Saturday, June 19 2021
I dont know how I feel about the day yet cos right now its only 10:13. I dont post these exactly on the days I write them, but I write them on these exact days nonetheless.
My throat still hurts, my ass hurts, oUch,.... I'm sure you know why. Like, when you suck dick, it takes throat strength to make sure you don't fucking vomit everywhere and like. I OBVIOUSLY dont have that strength since I had to wash vomit outta my hair this morning
Hes so hot tho oh. My god.
Whatever. New day. So we talk about new things.
Star seems kinda sad but I dont really know why? She said on her story that people dont really go outta their way to talk to her... idk. I shot a good morning dm and now I'm here. I made my bed. Packed up my shit. Every time we pack things up my parents rage cos they always find shit they dont want to see: monster cans, evidence of my self harm, etc.
We have 1 more week then school is OVER and I move outta this house cos of the divorce. Jay will be gone too... I still have his insta, but I might ask for his number... just in case. I always get weirdly attached to people I fuck even if there was never any romantic part of the relationship. We are just friends.
Apparently we are going to the pick n pack today with my friend let's call her Zara. It's notfar off from her real name but whatever. Basically pick n pack is where you go to a vegetable garden and pick vegetables
I have a test soon but idk if I'll study for it. I NEVER really put work into studying or pay attention in class and I'm holding an 82 average. I got a 39 once, so once I retake that quiz I might be in the 90s. Sorry Mr. Renal, I simply can't bring myself to care about your class 😢
I LOVE my art class tho. It's just doing ART!!!! ART TIME!!!! Art is the best and I would post some of mine but my irls would proabably find me then. Like my name isnt ACTUALLY Jude Shepard. I'm just using it as a penname and also cos that's what they called me in my dream. But other than that everything I tell y'all is real. I'm making buttered toast rn.
3:38 p.m.  sat june 19th
I've decided to include a song recommendation with every entry. Today's recommendation: A Match Into Water by Pierce The Veil
Okay so it turns out we didnt go to pick n pack with Zara. Instead we went to downtown... White Ave. It was sunny n we walked a bit, got lemonades and a bit of candy, went into stores, idk. BUT. The notable part of this is that next to the farmers market there were all the usual activist groups: falun gong, vegan, whatever... but one of them looked like it was a LEFTIST GROUP, possible marxist.
I wanted to talk to them so badly and wanted to see how I could help the cause. See, I'm a communist. AND IM NOT HERE TO DEBATE THAT. I'm here to talk about my days. Anwyays I wanted to talk to them sO BADLY. but my parents wouldn't leave me alone. And like. I hate political discussion with them. They just upset me and they get mad and I CANT AFFORD TO MAKE THEM MAD. I play everything that goes on with me on the Down Low, I dont talk about anything about myself because if I do, I get less freedom in my life. They have control in my life, so I have to appease them. Because of this, I unfortunately did not get to talk to the communists :(
Hopefully they're still there next time... I'm kinda mad >:(
Also Star replied to my good morning text... I told her to have fun shopping since that's what she told me she was gonna do... she just said "thanks" and I was concerned because THATS NOT HOW SHE TYPES? I feel like shes sad over something but i dont know what.
The day me and Jacob did stuff, I was supposed to walk her to her bus stop like I always do. But I didnt (duh) I took Jacob home.
But IT WAS ONE! DAY. And I told her my dad called me over so.... I apologized too and she seemed mad at herself, but in the way that's intended to make you feel bad.
I dont understand her sometimes. I LOVE HER. DON'T GET ME WRONG. I love her so so much shes such a great supportive funny attractive girl! But soemtimes she gets upset and I can never tell why: is it the depression? Is it me? Is it soemthing else entirely? And she'll never tell me.
Whatever, I'll ask her how she is tonight and maybe we can Talk :/
I might never tell her about Jay... :P I might never tell ANYONE about Jay. It's our little secret I guess >:))))))
Man see? I'm no saint. I guess that's what'll make this blog worth reading. I'm a bit conflicted about the whole thing cos I KNOW this is morally not right but. I'm doing it anyways. What can I say? I'm used to lying and hiding things for my benefit. I had to do it to survive and now? Now I do it for funsies.
I'm gonna pack some more stuff, TTYL ♡
UPDATE: we had to go look at houses for the move (since my parents r divorcing) and I didnt get to pack much of anything yet
I'm definently over my cal limit today...
        Cold sweet or carbonated drinks help with my throat pain so I'm downing them like they're NOTHING and since we have no zero  cal cold drinks I'm DEAD... and no, water does NOTHING.
Jeez, its raining out.
And FUCK JAY cos hes still on my mind.
Its 4:11 p.m. now.
Its now 7:56 p.m.
I kinda feel like an edgy main character in an edgy movie rolling up to the park and sitting #alone in the Treez like the emo band music video protagonist I am.
Sometimes its exhausting to talk to people I care about in a serious way or that I talk to in a more sincere manner like Star and Jay and others. Even if they're just friends. If our interactions are serious and not really casual and usually play out like long deep conversation, I feel like to respond to or even read their messages, I need to have like an hour allotted to conversation. Soemtimes I see the messages early and have to pretend I didnt see em cos I dont have internet to respond or time to respond its. Funny. Idk.
Anwyays I'm binging chocolate in a park alone and like. Rotting my fucking teeth OH WELL 🤷🏻‍♂️ whatcha gonna do.
Its 8 now so I should head home. I just biked to the s4ve 0ns to get my dad white choclate but. If I'm going to s4ve 0ns... YOU BET YOUR ASS IM GONNA STE4L SHIT. THAT PLACE IS EASY AS FUCKKK.
Also I'm kinda addicted to sh0pl1fting. The THRILL I get from it is so insane. It's fun! And you get free stuff! I know If i get caught I'm risking a lot. I'm aware. But I dont really care. Every step I take nowadays is risk taking. So why not take more?
I dont care about nonsense therapy. Fuck that.... actually I'll explain why i dont go to therapy for my shit:
1. I cant
2. I don't trust it
Anwyays yeah.
My throat still hurts. Idk, I just like to be in the sun and shit ALONE.
ALONE! It's so funny to me how now I like my time alone but as a kid I'd proabably kill for some positive attention. Well... it's more complex than that, but I wont go into it tonight.
Pls watch me die of diabetes soon from eating all this fucking chocolate.
My parents said to stop drinking monster and I wANT THEM TO TRUST ME so i can go out with my friends... but also I shoulda got monster outta spite. Heart palpitations my ASS.
Tonight I'll be talking to Jay AND Star. At the same time. Which is awkward... Which is MY OWN MESS TO CLEAN UP. I actually accept full responsibility. But also its awkward.
Whatever. I'll sort it out.
My parents arent being as complicated as usual. I guess they're tryna reverse all those years of... emotional neglect i guess? Something.
Something. Which isnt nothing.
But also I think they're guilty over the divorce. Like. Today my dad was like "do u ever feel sad? Blah blah blah... how do u feel rn" and I was like smiling tryna play off his question like it was absurd and I said "uhm idk... *fake laugh* normal?"
THE TRUTH WAS THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUDDLED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO REGARDING. LITERALLY CHEATING. ON MY GF. WITH SOME DUDE IN MY ART CLASS. JUST FOR SEX.
But then he was like "this isnt normal." And he looked all sad.  But on my way to the park here, I thought about it a bit more. And actually... it IS normal. The divorce rate is smthn like 60 percent in the states and 40 percent in canada... which is where I live.
Yknow... if my irls find this,,, all I have to say is sorry. Be as mean as you want.
I've already accepted my fate as a degenerate scumbag anyways lol.
Actually... how DO I feel? Hmm... laying in this field.
Urgency.
I have a lot of stuff to do.
Physical pain, but that's not. A FEELING.
I guess anticipation to TALK TO PEOPLE.
Regret from my binge... I better get home.
You know what's so funny to me? I cant purge on my own... but dick makes me vomit. Like the one time I DONT want to throw up, I do. Damn okay.
Well its 8:18 so I'm going home maybe. Soon. For now, I think I'll stay a little longer.
Yknow one thing I didn't expect to be sore was my arms... which I used to prop myself up to... yknow, suck Jay...
I still remember he said: "you're trembling." And I was like FUCK because I thought the trembling was HIM... •_• it's okay though I'll learn to do better.
Idk tho... I feel comfortable with him. Even as nervous as I am and embarrassed to be. Naked. In front of soemone else. And such. He makes me feel comfortable. Look, I did my best, DUH of cOURSE I did my best, I'm the type who will work hard at stuff even if they're getting hurt. I didnt mind honeslty. My goal in that part was just to make him feel good. Equal exchange, yknow? He did the same thing to me.
But like, he can tell when I gag and he tells me not to hurt myself and of course I keep going, I'm not about to SToP. But. I dont kNOW. Him talking to me like that makes me feel a lot safer doing stuff like that you know?
I like when he starts kissing me and touching me like he cant contain himself its almost animalistic and VERY FUCKING HOT
I feel like I talk about him too much but you gotta realize that was my FIRST time
1. Sucking dick
2. having MY junk sucked
3. Having anything put. Inside me. (It was just his finger but stILL)
So yeaH. Of course I'm gonna talk about it. A lot.
He said I was adorable. He said he likes how, when he leans over me, I take in a breath... how he could make me flinch.
THATS HOT ISNT IT.
I feel like I'm getting lost in his charm when I shoULD be tryna fix shit with my girlfriend. She seems sad and I'm worried.
But there isnt much more to say until I DM her tonight...
I really fucked up, didn't I? I totally fucked up and now my brain is all confused. But I have to remember that Jay is only about sex. He would be nice to cuddle, since hes fucking HUGE and I'm kinda on the short side, but he doesnt talk to me out of love. He does it out of lust. And yeah... I really only want sex from him too. But like. Star and I are COMMITTED. We got our feelings wrapped up together. Emotionally and romantically.
So. I should proabably like... stop fucking with Jay. Tell Star what I did. And hope she forgives me. That's the morally correct thing to do.
But like... do I EVER make the morally correct decision? No. Not really. I'm a piece of shit. Whatever. Its highschool anwyays we arent mating for life. IM NOT SAYING WHAT I DID WASNT BAD. IT WAS. VERY BAD.
but I'm gonna keep making bad decisions.
I DO FEEL BAD.... but look. If we're being logical about this and tryna maximize my benefit here,, I should keep Star as my girlfriend and TREAT HER WELL... but with Jay as a fuckbuddy on the side. Hes leaving the school soon anwyays so then we'll hang out less...
That's my plan, anyways.
I KNOW I'm a bad person. I'm aware. But it's just a fact of life.
I'm cheating with my cards here in so many places: stealing, lying, cheating, disobeying my parents, not paying attention in class.. IM KIND OF AN ASSHOLE KID. Idk. It's kinda whatever to me. I'm fucking harry Houdini, okay? I can get out of anyhting. This isnt me being cocky... I have historically gotten out of MANY tight situations, even some that risked my life, and I'm still here. I think I'm a walking lucky charm or SOEMTHING
Welp, we know if gods real I'm going to hell.
I dont really care. Idk. I guess I'm just at that risk taking phase in.my life. That doesnt  justify anything... but it explains it. And it's possible to explain without justifying.
Man,,, I guarantee whoever reads this blog is gonna hate my guts.
Whatever. It's my fucking journal/diary lol.
I can sorta say whatever I'd like.
It's funny because I always thought I was trustworthy and had no commitment issues BUT HEY I GUESS NOT.
I keep telling myself, cut him off, YOU AVE A GIRLFRIEND, FESS UP AND APOLOGIZE... but then I picture his STUPID smirking face and I CANT.
Maybe I am in love double.
Doesnt matter if I am... i still did a bad thing.
DAMN.
Well... I'm headed back home now. 8:41. I'm gonna pack my shit, change, watch youtube,,,, I guess I should check my google classroom and like. do my fucking homework... cos I haven't done it yet.
Then I'll update yall.
11:51 p.m.
Hey guys I'm back with an update.
I talked with both of then... star doesnt seem interested in having an actual conversation,,, shes just talking  about  random bs. Which is fine but I dont rly get what shes saying half the time COS SHES NOT BLUNT ENOUGH. and then the other half shes going on about how much she hates life. Like.
I do love her. We've bonded. I AM concerned about her. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't really try. Like I can talk her down from suicide all I want but everything I say is wrong and cliched and based off my own experience with suicidal thoughts and like... my mentality has always been sorta toxicly masculine. Push through, and push through alone. I CANT ALWAYS HELP! And it makes me feel shitty. Idk. She'll be okay, I know so cos of her story posts and drawings.
I feel bad but I know I can't help much. We talked a little. Idk, we didnt get anywhere. I love her but shes acting in a way that tells me soemthing is wrong but I CANT FIX THAT THING. SO. yeah, theres not much to say. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't.
I talked to Jay as well... I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BECAUSE I LIKE HIM SO SO MUCH. SO MUCH. HES LITERALLY PERFECT. sexy, kind and super considerate, he always makes sure I'm comfortable... I dont KNOW,,, hes sweet.
Hes not romantically interested in me. Which is a bit sad. Sometimes I want to tell him "I love you!!!" But then I remember that we are, in his words, friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Two horny teenage boys who just wanna fuck... and be friends. That's all. That's us. We aren't romantically involved nor will we ever be. I hate how my brain gets so attached to anyone I fuck... especially since I kinda see Jay as an "older brother" figure, which makes no sense until you actually meet him and vibe with him... and like,,, I've always wanted that?
Tommorow I'm gonna ask for him to come over to watch a movie... but idk if I should actually ask because my parents kinda hate me now for fucking up so much. I'll do my homework and clean my room first... which will take up all my time proabably :( it's okay. Maybe some other time :(
I dont want him to lose interest in me though.
.... its 1:56 a.m.
Okay. Okay. I'll say it. I love him.
Goodnight, tumblr.
-Jude
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