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p-osse · 27 days

Text

hehehehhee hey guys so the first paragraph of this was deleted and i JUST noticed so im gonna retype this whole thing.

okay hi, again, so in honor of me hitting 200+, i made a poll and one of the top choices was an event, so here u go :3 this event is based off of xikers' new album: HOUSE OF TRICKY: Trial And Error, aka one of the best releases so far hehe anyways thank u guys for 200 and im working on the server with someone rn giggles.. okay rules are down below

first youll dm me a number, 1-10, which will be your xikers member, and then 1-6, which will be your song / track your moodboard will be themed off of. "3 and 6" lets say thatll get you yechan and supercalifragilistic, youll listen to the song (if you havent) and make a mb based on the vibe you got. you get it, i think.

if you dont know any of the songs on the album, i think its pretty obvious that you should listen to it atleast once or twice, or maybe watch one of the stages so yeah.. heh..

your moodboard must include lyrics from that song and that song only, if theres any other lyrics from a song you didnt get, it doesnt count. same with member, but, if you make specifically gg moodboards, ill find a gg member thats close to xikers' vibe :3

reblog this post and tag 2+ friends, comment joining, and tell me your favorite kpop song + your favorite emoji !!

finally its prizes time thank god

🥇 : 250 reblogs on post of choice, 4 moodboards with member and theme of choice, shout out, follow back, 3 tumblr prof sets

🥈 : 150 reblogs on post of choice, 3 moodboards with member and theme of choice, shout out, follow back, 2 tumblr prof sets

🥉 : 50 reblogs on post of choice, 2 moodboards with member and theme of choice, shout out, follow back, 1 tumblr prof set

🏃🆙 : 25 reblogs on post of choice, 1 moodboard with member and theme of choice, shout out, follow back (2-3 runner ups)

when posting your moodboard, use the tag #HOT : trial and error in your tags, otherwise it wont count (make sure to copy and paste it too)

since im a very indecisive person, ill have some of my closest friends help pick the winners, deadline is may 9th at 6 pm CST, anything after that will not count and will be discarded.

🏷️ :: @y-vna @sugarish @od-i @eun-luv @egorls @h-aewo @h-itomi @v-ico @vg-k @b4dobee @nwtzy @bambicito @p-oisn @i3vivi @i06gyu @i08wony @i04rei @raeceah @rkivefr @wiotas @dreaminju @aespoa @yumjins @yeribbon @inniie @solriis @shiolu @chaehrtz @chaeneuu @chaefilm

if u couldnt tell, i rushed this

69 notes · View notes

wooahaes · 10 months

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under the sun [joshua]

pairing: non-idol!joshua x gn!reader

prompt: darl+ing inspired fic.

word count: 11.4k~

warnings: slightly suggestive at the very very end, but its left up to interpretation whether anything happens!! (its just two idiots in love making out for a minute). so, so much skinship and platonic-ish kisses between joshua and reader throughout. depictions of nightmares + mentions of vague illness and injuries within said nightmares. food mentions. more straight forward, flirty joshua throughout fic. mentions of joshua being mr gentle sexy.

daisy’s notes: men i am down bad for after writing this........ also sorry to anyone who asked to be tagged but wasn’t: several names didn’t pop up when i tried to @ them !! (plus tumblr for some reason hates when i try to have a taglist so if it DOES show that u were @-ed but didnt receive a notif, im so sorry!! ive had this issue for a while and i have no idea how to fix it...)

< day 3 || masterlist ||

summary: It all starts when you wake up in a field without a name or any memories to define yourself with. Thirteen men take you in as one of their own, and slowly you begin to wonder what is going on within this world… and between you and one of them.

It wouldn’t be wrong to say that Joshua already had a soft spot for you.

This, however, was normal in his eyes. Every time a new person came from maybe either Soonyoung or Wonwoo onward, Joshua found himself doting on people a little extra. When Jun came, it simply felt like they were a tiny group of people living together. But something about that number ticking over from four to five or five to six felt... More, in a way. Although he didn’t dote heavily on Soonyoung, or Wonwoo for that matter, his affections were obvious from day one. The amusement he found in Soonyoung’s jokes, the gentle way Joshua made sure to keep Wonwoo (and later Jihoon, Minghao, and occasionally Hansol when he wasn’t feeling the chattiest) acknowledged in conversations (never forcing them to speak, but making sure they felt regarded as a member of the group), his friendly competitions with the others... He found ways to make sure people felt involved. Jeonghan was better at listening and giving advice, Seungcheol’s job was to lead, and therefore Joshua kept people feeling loved. Whether that be with casual conversation or the occasional mischievous prank he pulled. With you, he expected more of the same: he would dote on you in the beginning, and then it would fade into that same love and care he provided everyone with. Truthfully, Joshua enjoyed caring for people. There was a reason he was called gentle sexy, after all (... even if it was semi self-imposed).

And at the end of your first week living with them, Joshua saw how stressed you were becoming for one reason or another. So he decided he’d get to the root of the problem sooner rather than later. Once he finished hanging laundry with you and the others, he offered up a little picnic lunch--just the two of you. He’d packed up the sandwiches someone else (Mingyu, he thought) had made, and sliced fruit for you. All that was left was for the two of you to find a nice spot to sit in. He carried his bag with food and water bottles inside of you, while you had been tasked with the very important job of carrying the blanket he’d found for you.

He’d suggested the spot the two of you eventually settled into: half underneath the shade of the tree, and half underneath the sunshine. He spread out the blanket for two of you, gazing up at the cloudy sky above for a moment. He looked at you after a moment, gently patting the spot next to him. Yet when you sat down, he didn’t notice the way he slightly shifted to be closer to you without much thought. It felt... natural in a strange way.

“Like my second day,” you mused aloud at one point as Joshua was pulling the securely wrapped food from his bag. He looked up with a hum, but realized what you meant a second later: the two of you had lazed together under the sky that day, too.

His fingers grazed against your own for a moment, acutely aware of how the side of your hand pressed against his own that day. “It wasn’t that long ago,” he gently teased, a warm chuckle escaping his throat. “But you already fit in with us.” Just like we knew you would, he wanted to say, but he held back. Would that be a little too bold to say...?

“I do?”

He smiled. “You do,” he said, his hand already finding a home with your own, your fingers already lacing together with his. “I wouldn’t lie. I think we all care about you a lot, even if it’s in different ways.”

He could see the way you bit back a thought. Absentmindedly, your thumb brushed over his.

“Even Jihoon and Minghao,” he told you. He noticed the way you raised your eyes, already caught. And oh how cute your expression was. Maybe he’d catch you in silly little moments like these again if he could see that wide-eyed look again. “They’re just taking their time. They were like this with Seungkwan and Chan, too.”

It didn’t take you long to piece together the missing name there. “What about Hansol?”

Joshua’s eyes seemed to light up a little as he smiled. “Jihoon liked him almost immediately,” he said, “but he’s the exception. Jihoon likes you enough, and so does Minghao. They just take a little longer to warm up to people.”

“What about Jun?”

“Jun’s looking out for you, too,” Joshua said. “He’s also a little quieter about it. But... you know that Chan likes you. So do Hansol and Seungkwan...” His thumb ran along the side of your hand. “And so do I.”

He could see a flustered smile cross your lips, and you turned your face away from him, looking to the sky instead. But you finally spoke a tiny, “Thank you,” a second later. He laughed a little, warm and vibrant, at how adorable you truly were.

“So... What else is inside that cute head?” He smiled at you, tilting his head as though it’d allow him to peer inside and see said thoughts. “Anything new?”

Your smile slowly dropped, and you let out a quiet sigh. “Nothing so far.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” he said, gently squeezing your hand. “It takes time. I think once you stop worrying about it so much, it’ll come to you.”

With another sigh, you turned back to face him again. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“It’s easy after a while,” he said, pulling his hand free from your own. He reached for the sandwiches he’d brought the two of you, offering one up. Your fingers grazed his again when you accepted it, and he turned his attention to unwrapping it slowly. “When you’ve been here as long as some of us have... You learn to accept each day for what it is.” He went quiet, staring down at his meal.

And you watched as proud, bright, warm Joshua turned into someone... quieter. Like the volume had been slowly turned down, number by number, until his melody could barely be heard while still being there. He said nothing for a moment, just staring blankly, brows drawing together as he gathered his thoughts.

“Sometimes... I pray,” he finally said. “And I think it helps. I grew up Catholic,” he looked back up at you, “That much I remember. I remember singing in church....” He went quiet again for a moment, idly pulling at a piece of the bread. “Singing’s really important to me, actually. Sometimes I don’t know why, but it is.”

You weren’t sure what to say to someone so pensive, so quiet compared to the version you knew most days. So you opted for what you knew was true: “You’re good at it.”

A smile crossed his face, even if it didn’t fully seem to be him again. “You’re sweet,” he said at first, eyes meeting yours after a second. This time, his smile actually met his eyes. “Thank you. But you should hear Seungkwan. And Seokmin, too,” he said, taking a bite of his sandwich, as if to distract himself from whatever thoughts had washed over him before. “Jeonghan and Jihoon are talented, too,” he said after swallowing his bite, “but you really, really need to hear how Seungkwan and Seokmin sound--especially if they sing together.”

That seemed to bring back the Joshua you were most familiar with. Not that you didn’t like this quieter, more thoughtful version of him: you thought that maybe, in time, you would learn how to speak to him in moments like that. It was strange, though... He always seemed so carefree so far, most days enjoying the freedom that this life could give him. It almost felt as though he was made for it. That wasn’t to say that you didn’t think Joshua could have those quieter moments: you were sure everyone there had them--even Soonyoung, who seemed to carry the most laughter with him, or Mingyu, who’s silly, goofy nature spoke for itself most days. Yet with Joshua... It felt as though you weren’t prepared to see that side of him peek out so soon.

It was cute, though, to see the way he happily hyped up the others and their talents. Soonyoung loved to dance--as did Jun, Minghao, and Chan, and Joshua was happy to sing the praises of everyone there. He’d let you see too much of himself, too soon. Maybe when the two of you were closer (and, truly, he hoped you would be), he would confide in you the way he confided in Jeonghan. He hoped you would feel the same safety in confiding in him, too: he might not be as warm as Jeonghan seemed to be, but he wanted to give you a warm place to land if you needed it, arms wide open and ready to embrace you when you needed it.

That night, he woke up from a far too vivid dream. The memory seemed to fade away soon, slipping from his grasp as he sat forward, a hand running through his hair. He’d been somewhere... crowded and loud, making his way through throngs of people. He remembered being approached, yet the face seemed... blurry and distant. Like he should remember it, but something in his mind refused to let him make out specific features.

“Joshua?” Jeonghan quietly mumbled from beside him, sleep laced into his voice. He stifled a yawn, reaching out to lay a hand on his arm. “Are you alright?”

He nodded, slowly settling back into bed as he turned onto his side. “Just had a weird dream,” he said. “Nothing bad. Don’t worry.”

Jeonghan accepted the answer easily enough, eyelids drooping shut as he snuggled back into the space next to him. He’d talk to him about it in the morning--no need to wake Jeonghan up over something so silly. He slipped back into slumber as easily as he had pulled his blanket back over him, and was left with nothing else he could remember that next morning. He made his way to breakfast with the others, stopping long enough to glance at himself in a mirror. He looked the same, so why did he feel so... Different?

He’d waved at you on his way in, and noticed your shy smile as you waved back before returning to your conversation with Seokmin. Joshua went to get a glass, his focus purely on getting a glass of water. Maybe that’d help settle him, centering him on something other than what he dreamed about last night. Seungcheol had stopped beside him, though, his own glass in hand.

“Everything okay?” He asked in a quiet voice. “I felt you jolt last night.”

“You did?” Joshua raised his eyes to meet Seungcheol’s. “Just had a weird dream. It felt... real.”

Seungcheol slowly nodded, taking in each word with care. “Like a memory?”

“I think so.” Joshua paused. Yet... The other memories never felt so vivid. Not like this. They felt real in the same sense, but what made this one feel so intense...?

He saw you again, giggling at something Seokmin had said, and he could see the way he pressed kisses into your cheek with a smile.

Well. There might be his why sitting right there. All that was left was to chase after it.

“Today, I’m going to teach you something very important.”

Joshua’s hand was holding yours as he walked alongside the river with you, more-so to guide you than his casual form of skinship. He’d invited you along with him for a small walk through nature--something he enjoyed doing on his own sometimes, but today wasn’t just leisure. He’d left you waiting in anticipation after he finally decided to break the news to you as to why he’d suddenly invited you out again barely a few days after your picnic.

“The art,” he said, with a purposeful pause to build suspense, “of living one day at a time.” He let go of your hand after a moment, slowing to a stop as he turned to you. “I think you could use it.”

He was slightly teasing you, and you could tell from the way he was smiling at you. Yet you agreed easily enough to ‘take these lessons,’ since he’d casually offered you a ‘once-in-a-lifetime deal’ when he invited you out earlier. If there was anything Joshua was good at, it was keeping you entertained. Whether that be through playing guitar or singing, or building up to moments like these... You definitely found him charming in plenty of ways.

“It’s hard,” he said, “but I learned a while back that it’s better to accept each day as they come. It helped me relax, at least--and it helped a few of the others, so I think I’m an expert now.”

Charming and cheeky. A deadly combination, in your humble opinion, but you liked Joshua’s company too much. If he would be the death of you, then c’est la vie... At least Chan would hopefully avenge you, maybe with Seungkwan and Hansol at his side.

(Not that you had any worries with Joshua: he was strong and safe in the same way the others were. The only fear you truly ever could have was of impending heartbreak, if you let yourself fall for his charms.)

Joshua drifted away from you, plucking a few flowers from the ground before he turned back to you. “There’s a lot of beauty in nature. I think I knew it before, but living here really makes you appreciate it a lot more.” He made his way over, carefully placing the flower behind your ear.

It was at this point that you realized he’d placed the other behind his own, and he smiled at the way the two of you matched now: little yellow flowers almost making it seem like the two of you were a pair. He turned, starting off talking about his own walks he goes on sometimes, enjoying the scenery even though he’s seen it an endless amount of times by now, and you followed behind him like a duckling.

Eventually, he found a spot to sit. He nodded toward the spot next to him, the corners of his lips slightly upturned as he watched you sink down into the spot next to him.

“What do you see?”

You raised a brow at him. What?

“Humor me,” he said. “Just tell me what you can see.”

So with a long exhale, you looked around, and began to list off things. The river ahead of you, stretching toward the lake at the end of this path. The trees that surrounded both of you, having reached the more wooded area. If you looked close enough, you could see fish underneath the water, scales shimmering in the sunlight that peeked through the trees. Tiny flowers dotting amongst the grass: some pink, some white... and others yellow, like the ones you and Joshua still had behind your ears.

Your eyes trailed him up. “I see you, too,” you said after a moment.

It earned a smile from him. “Well,” he said, “I see you as well. Now tell me what you can hear.”

Part of you wanted to roll your eyes. It felt like the kind of lesson you might have as a child learning about their senses for the first time, but you began to list off things nevertheless. The sound of water rushing past (and, if you listened closer, you could hear a fish leap and land in the water again), the sound of birds fluttering through the trees. Joshua’s breathing. The wind as it rustled leaves. Your own quiet breathing, too. Part of you wondered if you could hear the others, had you been close enough to home: the sound of Jun’s loud laughter, or Seungkwan ranting at something Soonyoung joked about...

And when he prompted you next, you continued on: you could smell the flowers, light and sweet on the breeze. Feel the way that the grass was poking into your skin, the feeling of the flower, weightless, behind your ear. The warm breeze as it kissed your skin. The warm feeling of his hand brushing against yours.

“That’s it,” he said in a low voice. “The art of living a day at a time.” He was smiling again, eyes twinkling. “Living in the present moment and accepting it as that. The book Wonwoo brought back called it mindfulness, but I prefer my name for it.”

You couldn’t help but smile back at him. Even if it was a mouthful... You thought you preferred his name for it, too.

The next day, you and Joshua were tasked with cooking dinner. Conversation always came easy with Joshua: even if you had moments of being unsure what to say, he could easily fill the air and keep things flowing as the two of you worked. He always seemed to use chores as a way of checking in with you, too, just to make sure you were adjusting well. He noticed how close you’d become with Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan--although he’d noticed that a few others had a soft spot for you (namely Mingyu... and Seungcheol, but for the sake of his friendship, he’d leave his name out of it for now).

“Joshua?” You looked up from the veggies you’d been chopping for him, and he merely hummed in acknowledgement. “So... What started this whole ‘art of living one day at a time’ thing?”

He hummed to himself for a moment, mulling over the exact moment that led to it. He’d come up with the silly little name for it after he started practicing mindfulness, sure, but... “Sometimes,” he started, “I’ll get stuck in my own thoughts. It was maybe a few weeks before Jun showed up, but Cheol and Jeonghan took me out for a picnic. And--I dunno. We just sat together, just kinda observing how peaceful everything is.”

“So you had a picnic with your friends, and you started to appreciate... everything?”

Joshua nodded, not looking up from his work. “Yep. It helped.”

“Would you do that with me?”

He paused, turning to see that you’d grown more flustered at asking your question aloud. Before you could apologize and try to backtrack, he merely nodded, “Sure. I’d gladly steal you away for a picnic if you don’t mention it to anyone else.” He went back to stirring the pot, the scent of spices heavy in the air. “I like having alone time with you.”

His heart stirred at his own words, aware of what he meant: I like being the object of your attention.

Right as he went to apologize for being so forward, you spoke up, “Then you can’t tell anyone, either.“

Joshua’s eyes were shimmering as he turned to you again, sharing a smile between the two of you as he realized that maybe things weren’t so one-sided for him. “Then... We can call it a date. If you want.”

“And if I do?”

Oh. Oh. This felt... fast. “Then you can pick our spot.”

Two days later, Joshua let you take the lead, a basket and blanket in his hands as you lead the way outside. The two of you had agreed to a little picnic lunch together, to reduce any risk of someone trying to tag along with you. Everyone would be scattered now, doing their own things as Joshua let you take the lead. He could hear the sound of Seungkwan and Chan bickering in the attic as he climbed up and into the church, and the tell-tale sound of Hansol’s warm laugh at an argument that was anything but serious. The two of you had passed Mingyu and Wonwoo on your way out, and he’d seen Seokmin go searching for Jihoon with Minghao tailing alongside him. Some of the others must still be out, finishing up their chores for the day. Joshua saw Jun on the way out, making his way back inside with an empty basket from doing laundry in his arms, and merely gave him a small wave.

You guided him out and to the same shady spot he sat with you on your second day. Together, you spread the blanket out before sitting together, chatting idly for a while..

“Joshua?” You suddenly said. “Tell me what you can see.”

His eyes crinkled a little with delight. Oh, how cute of you. He began to list things in a calm, even tone: the trees that grow thicker down the path to the lake, the river that ran near the two of you (and the shimmering of scales that are easier to see now, with the sunlight hitting them), the pebbles that were pressed into the dirt. He could hear the sound of your breathing, leaves rustling, the babbling brook... And he could feel the plush fabric underneath the two of you, the warm breeze as it kissed his skin in a way he wished would be replaced by something (someone, his mind corrected) else...

And even though the two of you had moved on from that sense, he smiled as he looked at you: “And I see you.”

Over two weeks of you being there, and Joshua felt as though he’d fallen for you too quickly. Too easily. Maybe in another life, this would have taken far longer. He would have courted you the right way, with dinner dates and long walks where he had to build up the courage to ask if he could hold your hand (out of respect for you rather than insecurity for himself: not all people enjoyed the kind of casual skinship that Joshua often saw Seungkwan partake in with...well... everyone). Maybe he should have asked you on the walk back how you felt, exactly...Yet his confidence had dwindled slightly. He felt something for you, yes, but how was he to be sure that it was love?

So he’d give himself a little longer instead. Enough time to know for sure that the enamored feelings he was almost certain of were what he thought they were. Every time a new person came, there was always this honeymoon period of adoration for them. For Joshua, it was the warmth of a need to welcome and care for a new person, and he knew himself well: it’d only last a week or two, three at the most, before it became something comfortable in his chest rather than an ever present flutter that punctuated his every action. Even if his gaze would drift down to your lips (a sign, in his eyes, that this was not the normal love he felt for new people)... He needed time to be sure.

Barely into your third week of living with them, Joshua woke up to the sound of you panicking.

He was far from the first person awake, though. You had curled up across the room, happy to be in Seokmin’s warm embrace since he was feeling particularly cuddly tonight, and you’d startled several of the others closer to you. He jerked up, running a hand through his hair to comb it back to his face as he watched you panic. The others had already taken to comforting you to no success. Seokmin kept an arm around you, trying to calm you down while your words were slammed together in this endless dribble, like water from a faucet coming out all in one heavy blast. Chan had reached out, trying to take your hand and wipe your tears as you kept trying to talk about the dream you’d had. Seungkwan spoke over you plenty, alongside Minghao, as they all tried to get you to slow down and breathe. You could talk afterward, yet you didn’t seem to listen. All Joshua could tell was that you had fought with Minghao in this dream, and then you ran away and ended up hurt, terrified no one was coming for you.

He kicked off the blanket, pulling himself free from the space between Seungcheol and Jeonghan with ease. Several others had woken up at this point, too, and he could hear Seungcheol mumbling something to Jeonghan as he was roused, too. Joshua, on the other hand, was more focused on getting over to you, falling to his knees in front of you.

“Hey,” he said softly, “it’s okay. It’s okay,” he reached for your hands, and, through your tear-filled gaze, your eyes met his own. “I’m here--”

All within seconds, you’d begun to move in for comfort, and he easily pulled you into his chest. Soon enough, he had sunk down to where he was sitting, letting you sob into his shirt as he stroked your back. His head leaned against your own, eyes fluttering shut as he focused on comforting you.

“It’s okay,” he said again in that low, soothing voice, “I’m right here. Just breathe for me, darling, okay?”

As if the words finally broke through to you, this time carrying some meaning to them, you gave him a shaky nod before squeezing your eyes shut tight. Your breathing staggered, and Joshua began to take in slow, deep breaths with you. Just to make sure you didn’t feel like you were alone now. He raised his head as you kept breathing, and he looked around at the sea of concerned faces that surrounded him now. Some of them were still half asleep (Mingyu and Hansol, Joshua noticed, and maybe Soonyoung, too), but they’d gathered around. They were a community, after all. This was far from the first time someone had a bad enough dream to evoke such a strong reaction (Joshua remembered plenty of incidents right offhand), and it created this understood feeling between them all: we check on each other, and we go from there. If you didn’t want to talk, they wouldn’t force you to.

You had realized that you disturbed everyone soon enough, and already began to apologize over and over, trying to make up a good enough reason to justify getting so upset over a bad dream. Joshua gently shushed you instead.

“It’s okay,” he repeated again. “You just had a bad dream. It happens to all of us.”

Which was enough to prompt Chan into bringing up how he woke up with a scream his first week there. He couldn’t remember what the dream was anymore, but it was bad enough that the others had to calm him down, too. He thought it was something to do with his life before, but Joshua remembered what it was. Chan had dreamed that he’d been kicked out of the group because he failed them in some way. Seokmin reached over, taking your hand in his, gently running his thumb across your knuckles as he shared his own story: he fought with Mingyu early into the latter’s first days with the group, and had a bad dream a while after of the fight getting worse.

They shared their pain with you without reluctance. They were human, too, after all: they had bad dreams and bad mornings, and sometimes they’d wake up crying like this too. Joshua just cradled you to his chest the entire time, though, tracing slow circles onto your back as you listened. Despite the stories being shared, you didn’t share your own now that you were calm enough that you could get it across better. No one pushed you to, though, past Wonwoo’s gentle question of whether you wanted to talk about it more. You had shook your head, curling up closer to Joshua before saying that you felt better now, thanks to all of them. They’d all started to go back to bed, Seungkwan telling you to wake him up if you needed to talk; he would happily listen if you needed him (or the two of you could go on a walk, too, if that’d help).

Joshua gently nudged you to get your attention. “What do you want now?” He asked softly. “You wanna go back to bed? I can get you some water if you want.”

You shook your head. “Can... Can I sleep with you, actually? You holding me helps...”

The surprise of your request made him grow a little flustered. He’d always be open to cuddling with you, but for you to say something like that...

He nodded, though, and brought you back over to where he’d been sleeping. Seungcheol wordlessly shifted over to make room for you, already grabbing extra pillows and blankets to help make you as comfortable as possible. Soon enough, you were curled up in Joshua’s arms again.

Over your head, Joshua had met Jeonghan’s gaze. His eyes flickered down to you for just a moment, and Joshua...

Well. He knew what Jeonghan was trying to ask. He merely nodded, and he watched as his friend nodded in return, understanding. A moment later, he’d seen the way you shivered slightly, and Jeonghan slid a little closer to ensure that you would be warm between the two of them.

Joshua loved you. Plain and simple. And now he was sure that both Jeonghan and Seungcheol knew (as well as every other person in that room). Everyone but you, hopefully. If he was going to tell you soon (and he would, he knew he would if he thought he had a chance), he wanted to do it right. But only when you were ready for that kind of relationship with him.

(And maybe he should call it overconfidence, but... Joshua had a pretty strong feeling that you loved him back.)

As much as Joshua didn’t want to leave you the next morning, it was Mingyu who gently nudged him awake, asking in a low voice if he’d come help with breakfast. He agreed, watching you sleep for a moment longer after Mingyu left him, and he slowly untangled himself from him. When you began to stir away, he gently shushed you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he told you to go back to sleep for a little longer. You’d ended up turning over, reaching over for Seungcheol, who barely roused before he cuddled a little closer to give you further comfort. Joshua pulled himself from his blankets, watching the wordless way that Jeonghan filled the space he was leaving, eyes meeting his for a second in a silent go on, I’ve got them.

Mingyu was already working on breakfast when Joshua came in, his conversation with Seokmin coming to a halt. The two greeted him casually enough, and Joshua was put to work soon enough.

“Josh?” Seokmin said after a few minutes, earning a glance from him. “You and Mouse...”

Joshua said nothing at first, working on. Oh. It must be obvious now, then. Is this something he’ll have to address with everyone? “We’re only friends.”

“We know,” Mingyu said. “That’s not what we’re asking.”

You don’t need me to say it out loud, Joshua wanted to say. Because they knew: everyone had to, right? Last night was just... proof that the initial affection he held for you within your first days never went away. That it merely blossomed into something stronger. Barely a few weeks into you living with them, and you’d somehow captured his heart so easily. He didn’t want to call it all-out love, because love took longer to sow. Infatuation fit better. He, for the lack of a better word between “infatuation” and “love,” liked you.. a lot.

He waited until everyone, save for you, had filed in for breakfast. They were quiet, a few whispers about you flying around the table, and Joshua... Well. Joshua wasn’t an idiot: he saw the concerned glances people kept sending him. The way no one addressed him, but kept clearly talking about him.

And then he finally spoke up, “Don’t tell them.”

No one spoke. They merely exchanged looks, all knowing at this point.

“Not now,” Joshua said. “I’ll tell them when they’re ready. I’m not putting that burden on them this soon.”

It was still tense, but Seungkwan was the one who finally looked up from his breakfast. “Joshua... I think they like you, too.”

He wanted to say something. Anything. His face grew warmer at someone actually speaking the thought aloud. He thought you did, too: but he didn’t want to define your feelings in his mind. It would set expectations on you that he wasn’t comfortable setting: if you liked him back, then he’d want to hear you say it out loud. Not now, of course, but when you were feeling better. He knew the effects of a shitty dream all too well.

Chan barely touched his food before he excused himself, saying something about taking a walk before he’d start on his share of the chores. Joshua saw the concerned look Hansol and Seungkwan shared, and the gentle nod toward where Chan had left that Seungcheol gave them: go on. The two excused themselves as well, getting up and following after him quickly.

Joshua wasn’t an idiot. He knew he wasn’t the only person who felt more for you. He knew Chan did. He thought Cheol did, too, but Joshua knew that neither would stand in your way of pursuing who you loved. Whether it be them or someone else, they would accept it and learn how to move past their feelings. Joshua would do the same, after all. He loved you and your happiness. And if you would be happier with someone else.. Then Joshua would support you wholeheartedly while he took the time to heal.

That’s what love was supposed to be, wasn’t it?

Something weighed in the pit of your stomach for most of that day. Everyone had been concerned at breakfast that morning (which, to be fair, hadn’t surprised you in the slightest), and you had waved them off. You weren’t ready to talk about your dream quite yet, not until you tried to focus on the center of it all. By some stroke of luck, you’d found Minghao painting by himself--sitting at a bare space of wall that’d only been painted green in preparation. He’d been painting a circle of blue, merely glancing up as you came closer before greeting you casually enough.

You slowly sank down next to him when he invited you to. “Um... Minghao?”

He heard the caution in your voice, and it made him lower his brush, turning to you. “Is something wrong?”

“Did... Did I do something?” You said slowly. “I mean. I don’t think I did, but--I had a dream that you were mad at me, and--and I just started overthinking and--”

“I’m not mad at you,” he said, plain and simple. For a moment, his gaze flickered past you, but before you could turn to see what he was looking at, he spoke up again. “If I was, you’d know. We’d talk about it eventually.”

Relief hit you all at once, and you let out a sigh. “Good...” You’d toyed with your sleeve, still feeling a slight nervous edge as you sat there with him. “I just... I had this dream where everyone seemed upset. But you--”

His gaze flickered up again, and then back to your face before he finally looked past you one final time. “Stop standing around and either sit with us or go.”

You turned, and Joshua had been lingering nearby. “Oh. Shua...”

“I can go--”

“No,” you said, “it’s okay. You can stay if you want. I don’t mind talking about it now.”

Joshua slowly nodded, making his way over before he sank down next to the two of you. He watched you for a moment, waiting to see if you would continue.

And soon enough, you did. “Anyway... I don’t know why everyone was upset, but you were the only one who spoke up and said whatever happened was my fault.”

Minghao furrowed his brow, looking up. “But you don’t know what happened?” When you shook your head, he continued. “I can’t say I wouldn’t be mad if something bad happened--”

“I ran away,” you said. “I don’t know why, but I just decided I’d leave for good since you all were better off before I came here.”

Joshua wasn’t sure what to say. He merely shared a concerned glance with Minghao, who, too, seemed to be at a loss for words.

“We love you,” was what Minghao said a second later, voice softer than before. “If something bad happened, we wouldn’t kick you out.”

“He’s right,” Joshua said. “We wouldn’t--”

“You didn’t,” you said. “I decided to just... Remove myself from the equation.”

That... was different, to be fair. But what could cause them all to be so upset that you felt that was the only option? To run away and live on your own instead? They were a community: no one should have to live a life of complete isolation. Seungcheol was always adamant about that after his own time alone.

“I know I wasn’t warm to you when you first came here,” Minghao said after a moment, “but I don’t want you to leave. You’re one of us now.”

With a slow nod, you let his words sink in. Us. Although you knew they’d all embraced you with open arms, letting you into this community, this family they had so lovingly come together to form... It still meant a lot to hear that you were a part of it. That they loved you.

Minghao looked back at the scene he’d been working on, pressing his lips together for a moment. “Do you have any ideas on what I should paint? I wanted to paint a pond, but...”

Joshua looked to you. “Mouse?”

“How about... ducks?” You suggested casually enough. “A little family of ducks.”

Minghao nodded after a moment, taking your suggestion into account before he began to wash his brush. “A family of ducks it is, then.”

You stood up, thanking Minghao for the talk as you went to leave him and Joshua behind. Yet Joshua rose quickly, following after you and stopping you once you were far enough to not be overheard by Minghao.

“Did you have any more bad dreams?”

You shook your head. “I didn’t. Thank you for being there, though. It felt like cuddling with you was all I needed.”

He chuckled. “Well,” he said, “all you have to do is wake me up and I’ll be there from now.“ He took your hands in his, swinging them slightly. “I always have room for you, alright?”

Your nose had crinkled when you smiled, giggling. “I’ll keep that in mind.” You slowly let go, taking a drifting step back. “Thank you, Joshua. I’ll keep it in mind.”

It was strange. Sure enough, you woke up that next night, sobbing again. It wasn’t as bad as the first time, but Chan had woken up Joshua for you when you asked him to. Instead of merely trying to soothe you back to sleep then and there, he glanced around before he gently pulled you to your feet, guiding you out of the room to make both of you a warm cup of tea. He sat next to you, watching the slow sips you’d take, cheeks still wet with tears. Despite the urge to go ahead and ask, to figure out what upset you this time, he let you have your space. The tea seemed to calm your nerves, and he merely waited for you to make the next move: if you wanted to go back to bed, he’d offer the spot next to you again. Or you could go back to Chan, who Joshua was sure was still lying awake, waiting to know if you were fine. When you finally lifted your head, meeting his gaze, you asked to talk about it.

This time, your nightmare was about Wonwoo. He’d fallen sick--really, really sick--in your nightmare. You swore you could still feel his feverish skin from when you were checking his temperature. It was almost as if he was going to die, and the thought of that had been enough to throw you out of your dreams and back into the reality you were living in. Wonwoo was okay: that was something you could see when you first woke up. Chan had stirred, asking what was wrong, and you merely asked him to get Joshua.

“If it helps... No one’s ever been that sick before,” Joshua said, his hand on top of yours. His thumb grazed the back of your hand. “And we know how to take care of each other. I’m sure Wonwoo would have been okay.”

Something about his presence seemed to calm you easier than the others did. He sat with you a little longer until your cups of tea were empty, and soon enough he’d made a space for you once more, letting you curl up in his arms again.

The same happened the next night: Mingyu had burned his hand in that dream. The next, you were lost in the forest with an injured ankle and you were scared no one would come for you. In another, your shoulder had been injured horribly... And all Joshua could do was be there for you each night. Sometimes he’d make you tea, or the two of you would go on a short walk to clear your head, but it always ended up the same: with you in Joshua’s arms, feeling safer than you had been before. He would wake up the next morning, feeling the weight of your body against his, sleeping peacefully.

(You finally gave up after that night and started sleeping next to him permanently until you worked out whatever was causing these nightmares. Not that he was complaining: he liked having you close to him.)

Seungcheol had been watching you one night after dinner, while the group was all still together, biting his bottom lip. Joshua wondered if he thought he could figure you out had he stared intensely enough, studying your entirety as much as he could from his place across the room. Yet his calling of “Mouse,” had been enough to catch your attention, followed by, “are your dreams still bothering you?”

You looked up from the puzzle you were working on with Minghao and Seokmin, a little more flustered at the outright question. “Not really...”

“Aren’t dreams a subconscious thing?” Hansol said from his spot on the couch, curled up with Jihoon next to him. “Maybe you’re just worried about something.”

“I’m not,” you said, a little too quickly in Joshua’s opinion. “I just had a string of bad dreams. It’s nothing serious.”

“Are you sure?” Seokmin frowned. “You can talk to us--”

“I’m fine,” you said, standing up. “I’m gonna go wash up for bed.”

They let you go without a fight. No need to push you now when you were already starting to get upset. Joshua merely said he’d go try to talk to you, just to make sure you were fine--even if you weren’t ready to talk. He’d found you brushing your teeth, and you’d pouted a little at the sight of him in the entryway.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you said after spitting into the sink. “Maybe tomorrow, Shua.”

He slowly drifted closer to you. “That’s okay,” he said, slowly stopping next to you. “Do you know what’s bothering you, though?”

Reluctantly, you nodded after a moment. “I think I do. But... I don’t wanna think deeply about it before bed.”

He could understand that. “As long as you aren’t bottling it up,” he said. “We love you a lot.” He reached out to brush a stray hair back into place, and his fingers lingered at your temple for a moment before he drew his hand back. “I just want you to know that.”

“I love you guys, too,” you met his gaze. “Really, Joshua. I’m okay for tonight.” You leaned in, pressing a tiny kiss against his cheek. “Just tired from doing laundry with Soonyoung and Seungkwan earlier.”

He chuckled airily, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I understand. Just don’t be afraid to tell us things, alright?”

“I won’t.” You promised. “Goodnight, Joshua.”

With you heading to bed early, Joshua... knew what he needed to do. The group was starting to disperse when he returned, and he went ahead to stop Chan before he could go with the others.

“I was thinking about going for a walk,” he said. “Do you want to join me?”

Chan shook his head. “I’m good, Shua. Thank you--”

“Chan,” he said, a little more serious this time. “I think you should.”

Chan looked toward the others, and let out a sigh, before nodding. He understood what this was, and the two of them grabbed their shoes and began to make their way outside. Once the church doors were securely closed behind them, Joshua let out a sigh and looked up to the stars overheard, twinkling in the clear, dark sky... and then he nodded out toward the river. He and Chan walked in silence at first, making their way down the hill with slow, heavy steps, neither sure how to begin this conversation.

“I really like them,” Joshua said outright. “And I know other people do, too. In the same way, I mean.”

Chan didn’t look at him at first. “I know. I was there when you asked us not to tell them how you feel.”

“I just want to clear the air,” Joshua said, “because I know you love them, too.”

Chan met his gaze, and Joshua could see something (confidence, perhaps) waver in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, only to close it, looking away. “We’re all adults here,” he said. “I’m not going to treat either of you differently.”

“I know that,” Joshua said. “I trust you. But I don’t want any bad blood between us... and I don’t want to hurt your friendship with Mouse, either.”

With a heavy sigh, Chan shut his eyes for a moment, slowing to a stop. “As long as they’re happy, then I’m happy. I love them, Joshua, and I want them to be happy.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, turning away again to kick at a pebble along the riverside. “I’d be happy no matter who they love. It’s not like they can date all of us.”

“Can’t they?” Joshua said, only slightly teasing. “You know how we are with each other. I think if we all wanted that, we’d work it out.”

Chan’s face grew bright red, even in the low light. “Don’t say things like that!” He said, pouting, “I--I don’t want to think about it when they only like you.”

“Sorry,” he chuckled. “I mean it, though. We’re all more than just a group of people living together, though. Who knows,” he shrugged, “maybe in another life, we’d all be something together.”

“Maybe.” Chan sounded wistful as he stared off into the distance. “But they love you.”

But they love me, Joshua repeated mentally, turning the phrase over in his mind over and over. You loved him... “I think they do--”

“I know they do.” Chan said. “It’s kind of obvious now.” He pulled his hands from his pockets, looking back to the church. The two began their return up the hill, faster this time to get back inside now that they’ve cleared the air. “Are you going to talk to Cheol, too?” He paused, “I mean... It’s obvious. Isn’t it?”

Joshua let out a warm chuckle as he pulled open the doors. It was a bit obvious that Seungcheol felt... a lot for you. “It is. I’m not sure I’ll talk to him, though.”

“Why?”

“You admitted to your feelings,” Joshua said, following Chan inside as he turned to secure the door. “Cheol is the kind of person who’d rather deny them either until his feelings are gone or until the world ends if it meant they’d be happy. He’s just going to give them up--”

“And I will.” Seungcheol stood up from his chair, making his way over. “Are you two really talking about me?” He chuckled a little at the startled expression on Chan’s face. “It’s fine, Chan. Hansol mentioned the two of you left, and I had an idea why.”

“So you decided to just wait in the dark to scare us?”

Seungcheol shrugged. “I thought it’d be funny. And it was,” he nodded toward Chan, “very funny to see his face--”

“But that’s not fair!” Chan suddenly cut in. “Cheol... It’s not fair that you have to give up your feelings.”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

Chan stammered for a moment, “I--But--It’s not--” And then stopped, collecting himself. “It is, but... You give up a lot for us already.”

“They don’t love me,” Seungcheol said, plain and simple. A fact that he had long since accepted. “They love Joshua. We’re both giving up our feelings because we care about them and want to see them happy.”

Joshua felt his heart sink a little. While Joshua would have done the same for you... It felt awful to hear it said aloud, especially from someone who felt so much for you. “Cheol--”

“It’s silly,” he said. “How hard I fell and how fast it happened... But they love you, Joshua. And I know you love them, too.”

Joshua wasn’t sure what to say. “Cheol, I’m--”

“Take care of them.” Seungcheol tucked his hands into his pockets. “I know they’ll do the same.” He turned, musing aloud, “You know who to see about signing up to perform on their day...”

So Joshua nodded, already knowing what he needed to do. Chan walked ahead, following after Seungcheol. He needed to tell you soon, but... Surely, you could wait a little longer, couldn’t you? Just long enough for him to say it the way he felt he needed to. He made his way down, through the long passage until he came into the main room... Where Jihoon had been curled up, reading a book on the couch, humming to himself as he drummed his fingers against the edge. He wasn’t tired yet, but Joshua knew he wouldn’t go to his guitar until he couldn’t hold back anymore. He called out to Jihoon, already bringing up the song they’d been working on with Jeonghan and how he was going to try and finish it. He’d need help with getting it right, but...

Joshua knew how to make his feelings for you clear. Even if you couldn’t answer him in the moment, he’d sing it proudly, just so you knew where his heart fell.

Sometimes, all you had to do to find Joshua was follow the sound of a guitar being played. It always would lead you either to him or to Jihoon (or, rarely, Hansol), and once you came close enough, you’d be able to hear the soft way he mumbled his way through lyrics as he tried to figure them out. You peered around the entryway to the room he was in, watching the way he quietly worked on. He’d yet to notice you, and you watched the way his fingers moved to make each chord. Something about the way the sunlight flooded into the room and illuminated him made it feel as though you were looking in on a masterpiece. If only you could paint it--committing it to memory didn’t feel like it was enough to capture his beauty. Those soft brown locks fell into his face, eyes half-lidded as the lyrics he were working through (Should I talk to you or not? / I thought for a while...) barely audible. Was this, you wondered, what Eurydice felt when she looked upon Orpheus? Or how the stones felt when he traveled to bring her back, parting the way with ease, so moved by his song? Even if you couldn’t hear every word he sang, there was something so genuinely beautiful about how he seemed to lose himself in his music. It was similar to the way Jihoon did, too, as well as Hansol: they loved it so deeply, it was as though they were meant to sing in some way. Like music was one of their greatest loves, and it’d be cruel to abandon it completely.

Joshua looked up soon enough, though, and the music stopped as those pretty eyes softened when they saw you. “Hello, darling,” he called out, thoroughly amused that he had caught you observing him. It was just as love-filled as when he called you that during your second day there, too. “You can come in, if you want.”

As if bewitched to move from your place, you drifted across the room toward him, heart guiding you more than anything. Joshua always seemed to have room for you, no matter where he was: there was space by his side at dinner, at bedtime, or in conversations... and even now, when it was the two of you alone, he was happy to bring you in.

“Do you know how to play?” He asked, turning his attention to tuning his guitar--one of the chords must have been slightly off, since he’d kept trying to tune and retune it as he worked.

You shake your head. “Hansol offered to teach me once, actually,” you watched as he worked on, humming in acknowledgement.

“And?”

“I turned him down.”

Joshua lifted his head, this pretty, amused glimmer in his eyes. “You don’t want to spend time with Hansol?”

With a giggle, you gently bumped your shoulder into his. “Of course I do. I’d just... rather learn from someone else.”

He merely chuckled. “I see.”

Wordlessly, as he finally finished tuning the guitar, Joshua moved in closer to you so that he could reach around you. He brought in your hand to lay on the strings, the weight of it mostly on him still. His fingers are rough as they guide yours into place, and it made you wonder how long he’d been playing guitar.

“This is how you do Em...” His breath hit the back of your ear, and he paused to make sure you were pressing down the strings firmly enough. Then he strummed, and you could feel the vibrations through those strings. “Hear that?” He said, and when you looked at his face again, you could see this proud glimmer in his eyes. “And if you move your fingers to these chords,” he was already moving on, “you can get C...”

Joshua gently instructed you as he could. Em to C to G to D, always guiding your fingers and helping you keep them in place, and punctuating each with a strum to let you hear the difference.

“You’ll get better with time,” he said, “we’ll work on it.”

“So that means there’s a next time?”

He shifted away from you, returning to the position he’d been sitting in before you came. “If you want there to be one. I like spending time with you, you know.”

“Good.” You rested against his side. “I like spending time with you, too.”

He chuckled warmly. “I won’t tell Hansol you said that--”

When you whined his name, he merely laughed a little more, head tilting back as his eyes scrunched up with joy. Yet soon enough, he went back to what he was working on, no longer softly singing lyrics under his breath. He merely hummed along, trying to figure out the part he was working on.

“Y’know...” You began to toy with a stray strand of thread on your sleeve. “I talked to Cheol yesterday.”

“Mhm?”

For a moment, you weren’t sure how to bring it up. So you sucked in a quiet breath, before finally looking up to watch his face and try to gauge his reaction. “Joshua. What do you think love is like?”

He didn’t seem to hesitate. “I think it’s putting someone else’s needs before your own. Wanting to be close to them, too. Caring for them in a way that’s different than caring for other people.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but he continued to speak:

“It’s the way you make me feel,” he said outright, voice softer this time, as if someone would overhear if he said it any louder. He watched the way you went wide-eyed in response, clearly not expecting him to be so forward. “I was going to tell you differently. I mean, I still will, but--”

“You love me?”

He grew surprisingly sheepish, averting his gaze before giving you the tiniest nod. Strong, warm, outgoing Joshua had been reduced to a shy schoolboy because of one little question from you. “I think I do.”

His heart hammered in his chest, and he felt as though you could hear it from how silent the room had become.

“Oh.” It wasn’t flat. Or disappointed. It was warm, and a little confused, but he could hear the tiniest thread of joy laced into it. You gently bumped against his shoulder again. “Do you want to know how I feel?”

“I do,” he said, “but...” He met your eyes again. “Will you wait?”

... Wait? You’d thought that waiting was a little pointless when the fourteen of you were living this life together. What if things were over tomorrow? Why wait forever? Wasn’t that what Seungcheol told you, too? That you shouldn’t wait to confess to him? “Why?”

“I want to say it right,” he reached out, setting his hand over yours. “Okay? Let me sweep you off your feet.”

He didn’t expect you to laugh so warmly, so full of love at how cute he truly could be. “Okay,” you said, this teasing lift to your voice something he thought you’d gotten from hanging around him so much. “Then do it.”

Joshua set aside the guitar. He stood up, turning to you and offering his hand, and he nearly chuckled at your startled reaction.

“Wait, now?!”

“Nope,” he smiled. “You’ll just have to wait for what I have planned.” He nodded his head toward the doorway, “But I don’t want to give up alone time with you yet. Do you?”

You didn’t, either. With a smile, you accepted his hand, and happily let him lead the way. Although a few others had greeted the two of you, inviting you into a game, Joshua merely told them that the two of you had already decided to go for a walk together. Before someone could try to tag along, he’d already swept you away, happy to steal you all for himself for a bit. Not that he was the only one being greedy: you liked having Joshua all to yourself, too. The way he loosely intertwined his fingers with your own, just enough to keep your hands together but not enough to trap you with him, was sweet. Although when you tightened your grip a little, just to squeeze his hand, he wordlessly squeezed back.

And if he let go of you, just to sit in a shady spot under a tree, who were you to say no when he happily offered the empty space next to him to you?

(Even if it would later net the two of you teasing from Jeonghan when he eventually found you together, hours before dinner rolled around, comfortably sleeping hand in hand.)

Celebrations were always a highlight of having this group. Yes, there was plenty of manual labor that came first... But it would always be worth it to see someone light up, getting attention dedicated to them for a night. If he could see the way you smiled every night for the rest of his life, he’d be happy with that alone. Chan had held your hand as he brought you in, bright petals filling the air as they welcomed you into the group officially. Seungkwan had placed the flower crown upon your head, lips grazing your cheek for just a second--just as everyone else did. Joshua let his lips linger against your skin for an extra second, and found himself feeling a little greedy for doing so... and for wishing that he could steal you away again. He nodded along as Seungcheol eventually did his usual toast, and smiled at the sight of Chan with his arm around your shoulder, ever the dutiful best friend to you. It was clear that everyone there loved you. If nothing else, Joshua knew that you would be loved no matter what. And if his love for you faded into something akin to friendship, it’d still be love nonetheless.

Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Seungkwan had performed their little song and dance routine--and Joshua had beamed the entire time. Maybe it was because you eventually settled into the seat next to him, letting him drape an arm around the back of your chair and press his side against yours. He loved the sound of your laugh, so full of genuine love for the three as they performed. Jihoon performed a medley of his songs--some new, some old, but these medleys were normal for him. Even with broken leftovers of songs he could never find it in him to complete, Jihoon made a complete experience for everyone to enjoy. Even Hansol had a song to perform, incomplete yet so uniquely him. Jun’s monologue had been written by him, Minghao’s art piece unveiled in the same dramatic flair that he always did...

Joshua pressed a kiss right in front of your ear. “Wait for me,” he said, getting up, “This is for you.”

He watched the realization cross your face as he drifted away, getting a guitar as Jeonghan came to join him. He let Jeonghan introduce the song as he prepped the stage: it was something the two of them had worked on with Jihoon, yet only recently finished together. Soon, he was sitting on one stool with Jeonghan on the other, already playing. You recognized the song soon: it’d been the one he had practiced when he told you that he thought he loved you.

I’m falling for you / falling for you... / it’s too late to escape

(And Joshua, in that moment, was certain he never wanted to. Especially when he fell asleep next to you, smiling at your sleeping face and caressing the white rose that Jeonghan had painted onto your skin.)

The song had been part one. Part two began the next day, before most of the others were asleep. He’d departed from your side early--not early enough to beat the others, but early enough that you were still comfortable in your bed. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, already moving to make his plans. He’d be making dinner with Seokmin and Mingyu tonight, and that meant he could get everything ready without looking too obvious.

It would be hard to avoid you for most of the day, but the others were a welcome help. Jeonghan would point you to him when the time came, but Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan had been tasked with distracting you for the rest of the day. That meant staying away from the garden once chores were over, and letting him take the time to make everything perfect. From the string lights that Seungkwan had found for him to the plush blanket he spread out onto the ground... He had to make this perfect.

Seungcheol had found him while he was working. “You’re telling them, right?”

He smiled. “Is it so wrong to make it romantic?”

“No,” he said, leaning against a tree. “Like I told you... Take care of them.”

“I will--”

Yet he had let out a loud, long sigh. “Seriously... They’ve been staring at you for the past few days. How can you not say something sooner? I think I’d break if they looked at me like that.”

Joshua felt the opposite, actually: Seungcheol was in love with the group. It’d take a miracle for him to tell you how he felt, and even then... He’d probably take a thousand years to do it, too. Not when it made him look as though he was playing favorites. Joshua wondered, for a moment, if that was why Seungcheol seemed so okay to give up his love for you. To let you be happy with someone else. He pushed the thought away: maybe, in another world, Seungcheol wouldn’t have to struggle with his feelings... It made Joshua feel guilty, for a moment. But he reminded himself what they both knew: you loved Joshua.

(In another world, if you loved everyone alongside him... Joshua thought he could live with that. He loved everyone else, too, after all.)

He returned inside to bring out the picnic dinner, dessert packed as well in the form of sliced fruit. Especially strawberries, which he had carefully cut the tops off of and sliced in half. It was a simple enough gesture, but one he hoped you would love.

And when you finally came to him, you laughed. “Seungkwan refused to let me leave him until Chan finally told me what was going on.”

Joshua had been sitting on the blanket, but he rose to his feet, hands outstretched for you. “Does that mean you wanted to see me?”

“Silly...” You placed your hands in his. “I’ve been dying to talk to you all day.” With ease, you slipped your fingers in-between his. “About the two of us.”

“Does that mean there is a ‘two of us?’”

He could see you grow flustered, averting your gaze for a moment as you pressed your lip together. “What do you want?”

Joshua began to lower himself down, bringing you with him to sit together. He let go just long enough to push things aside, scooting forward so that he could be closer to you. He gently took your hands in his again, squeezing them as he gathered his courage to say what he needed to say. He knew he felt something for you, that you felt something for him, and yet saying it out loud was scarier. It made it more real.

“I want us.” He ran his thumbs over your knuckles. “I want to love you while we have the chance. I’ve thought a lot about it, and... I don’t know what brought us here. I-I don’t know what brought you to me,” he squeezed your hands, “and I’m okay with whatever it is, no matter what it is. Because you’re here,” he reached forward, fingers curving around your cheek, “and I’m with you. And... And I think that’s where we’re supposed to be.”

“Joshua--”

“I love you.” His heart was racing as he said it. The words felt at home in his mouth. “And it’s okay if you can’t say it back. But... I think I’m yours if you want me to be--”

You’d lunged forward, kissing him hard and nearly sending him toppling back. His hands fly to steady you, and he shut his eyes as he kissed you back. You threaded a hand through his hair, the other cupping his cheek as you smiled into this kiss. Deep down, there was a tiny urge to just lean back. To let you take over and kiss him and... more, if you wanted it. He let his mind go blank for a moment, savoring how soft your lips felt against his own... And then he remembered.

“I,” he said as he gently pushed you back, smiling. His hair was a little messier now. “I made us dinner. And as much as I want to kiss you again...” He cupped your face, “I don’t want it going to waste.”

It earned a giggle from you, and you pecked him on the lips one quick, final time for now. “Right,” you said, leaning away. “We have time.”

That the two of you did. He’d already begun talking about how he’d been working on this earlier with the others, just to make something that would hopefully taste delicious. The others would be leaving you alone tonight, which was ideal. He wanted to be the sole object of your affections tonight and tomorrow and every day that came after, if you’d let him.

“Maybe that makes me selfish,” he said, drawing you in once more, “I can’t keep stealing you away forever, after all...”

Yet your lips slanted against his, and it made him feel free. Maybe he was never the one stealing you away. After all.. You’d stolen his heart within days of coming here. How could he steal you when he was always yours? He’d have to learn how to share you with the others again, the tiny need to keep you close to him building inside him. Just to link you to one another, like puzzle pieces that have fallen into place...

Truthfully, as long as you stood side by side with him in life... He would be happy no matter where you were. Alone or with the others, all he knew was that he wanted you with him until the end.

general taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @cinnamoroxie [unable to tag?] @cherryredcheol [unable to tag?] @gyulbabie

under the sun taglist: @shiningstar-byulxx @twogyuu @strawberri-uyu @bbmyungho @thedeeppoet @heeseung-lover686 @jeonncafe @bfwonu @fifty-shades-of-mischeif @blackwhiteandshadesofgradient @dreamhannies @yourfavoritefreakyhan @amethyistheart @jeonnyread @nap-of-a-starr @anidolecalledaoife [unable to tag?] @vernxnsfool

#wooahaes.fic #wooahaes.uts #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #joshua x reader #joshua hong x reader #joshua x you

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r4in-nsfw · 2 years

Text

PUNZ NSFW ALPHABET

Not sure for the next one if i should do Sub!Karl or Dom!Karl so lmk

NSFW UNDER CUT

also as of tomorrow I will be taking a month break from tumblr for my mental health, but when i come back i'll be better than ever

A-aftercare

Because he's such a rough person, the aftercare is so soft it gives you a toothache, he's grabbing you ice for the bruises he left, feeding you and giving you water, praising you for how well you did for him. 'did so fucking well love, so good for me' rubbing your sides and playing with your hair as you cuddle.

B-body part

Boobies, he loves big boobies. tit fucking them too, he loves just laying on them, he could suffocate if he really wanted too. loves when your wearing low cut shirts too, stares at them for hours

C-cum

Literally loves breeding you, cumming inside you is number one but he'll also cum on your tits, painting them and seeing his marks on you. the thought could make him cum untouched.

D-dirty talk

My mans alwaysss dirty talking you, mumbling stuff to you to get you riled up. he loves seeing how weak it makes you. 'such a disgusting slut yeah? gonna fucking mark you up doll. make you all mine'

E-experience

im gonna just say when he met u was the biggest manwhore ever, hooked up with everyone, so he has tons of experience. but as soon as you two became official he became so devoted to you it kinda worried you

F-favorite posistion

COWGIRL OML THAT MAN LOVES WHEN U RIDE HIM. Another one is doggy, grabbing your ass and leaving moon shaped marks on your hips when he grabs them <3

G-goofy

nah nah, he's not goofy, hes super serious, especially when he's super needy, just ripping your clothes off without a word. other times he'll crack a joke here and there. but yeah most times hes so focused he completely forgets about everything else

H-hair

Um tbh i don't think he cares enough to shave alot, he trims sometimes. but he doesn't really care. occasionally he'll shave because i can get annoying sometimes

I-intimacy

Yknow, sometimes he'll be super intimate, taking his time, whispering soft praising words but other times he's not so intimate. and literally just destroying you..

J-jerking off

I don't think he cares about how much he jerks off, but he does quite a bit, he also struggles a bit with porn which you try to help him with by sending him pics of you or when ur available jerking him off yourself.

K-kink

Tbh, him being a Hard!dom in my opinion, i think hes really into temp play, Breeding, Public play, Orgasm Control/Denial, Pain play, and maybe even pet play if your down for that.

L-location

Mans will take you anywhere, but like anyone, he prefers the privacy of his or your bedrooms.

M-motivation

What really gets him going is when you kiss his neck, he loves the sloppy, half-hearted kisses you give him when your tired or in the mood, just drives him crazy.

N-NO

Literally nothing, he's up for anything tbh, like he'll do pretty much whatever you wanna try.

O-oral

actual prefers when he gives u head, literally gets so pussy drunk, eating you out for hours as you cum on his face over and over. also loves when u go down on him, when you look up at him with a innocent look in your eyes. ugh he could die from just that.

P-pace

Fast, usually really fast and rough, taking you from behind he'd garb your wrist and pull them back for leverage to thrust faster. god he loves fucking you into the mattress so roughly. but some days you guys just need some soft sex. like everyone does.

Q-quickie

Not to big a fan of them. but if he needs to he will. he'd much rather take his time and do all the things he wants to you.

R-risk

When it comes to trying new things he's all for it. but sometimes if things don't go well he'll apologize profusely. making you giggle 'its not your fault baby'

S-stamina

mans has so much stamina its crazy, could go for round after round till you can't fucking speak.

T-toy

he doesn't really use toys, but he has a few for you when you want them. he just doesn't see the point in them. like why would u get toys when u have him? thats his mindset.

U-unfair

oh my god he's always teasing you. running his hands up your bare skin, watching you squirm and plead for him. loves seeing what a mess his small touches do to you. literally drives him nuts.

V-volume

Not really loud, he'll whisper vulgar things to you under his breath and occasional curses and groans will fall from him. 'god so dirty for me, you like the way i stretch you? huh?'

W-wild card

As already said he watches porn, and has totally paid for it before even though he tried to deny it.

X- Xray

he's uncircumcised, pretty average with a slight curve to his cock. not big but its there.

Y-yearning

mans sex drive is so high, he could fuck you everyday if you let him, which most times you do, like said he could go for multiple rounds as well.

Z-zzz (how fast they fall asleep)

He stays up a lot actually, making sure your ok before taking care of himself. always wants to make sure your safe and comfortable first.

#punz imagine #punz x reader smut #punz smut #dsmp smut #mcyt smut #mcyt x reader smut

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roachemoji · 9 months

Text

Stranger Things S2 01

this is just me live blogging watching ST none of my thoughts are v coherent enjoy <3

STARTING OFF REAL INTERESTING BUT REAL TALK when you have like a cool haircut how do you expect not to be found if u do a crime???? LIKE I LOVE YOUR MOHAWK AND I GET IT U DONT WANT TO COVER IT BC OBVIOUSLY BUT!!!!

this is NOT the focus obviously its about the fact theres other kids from the lab BUT AKSHDAKSJDKH

DUSTINNNN!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IM SO GLAD WE'RE STARTING ON HIM KISS KISS KISS

not the reagan sign STOP STOP ITS BEEN 2 SECONDS I HATE TED THATS HIS NAME RIGHT FIGHT KILL DESTROY BITE BITE BITE BITE

also the boys have grown SO MUCH !!!!!!! i forget there was actual real time between when these were filmed KSJHD im so excited to see Will and his perpetual bowl cut

JOYCE MY MOM!!!!!!!!!! SHES SO PRETTY AND SO CONCERNED I JUST LOVE HER

THE CHIP EATING DUDE FUCKING !!!! REMINDS ME OF THAT FUCKER FROM MONSTER HOUSE???????

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE REMINDS ME OF THIS ASKJDHASKJHDKAJSH

Will is so tiny ..... and little? oh hes being teleported into the fucking upside down again baby boy im so fucking sorry also ilu but why would you just walk outside away from wher eyour friends WERE to look at the horrifying shit world you were trapped and almost died in ????? aSDKJH

Im gonna have to DM you on discord or something so i can properly save all the things you have to say about the timelines and how the Russian shit plays into that because was anyone calling El (im assuming he's referring to her) is Russian??? IK this is possibly the third (?) timeline we've seen (genuinely let me know if i can do that its ok if not i forget tumblr has Dms)

ALSO WHO IS THIS GUY IM CRYING HES!!! WHAT A PI??? WHO ARE YOU

NANCY AND STEVE ALSO BESTIES IM CRYING STEVE IS hes trying so hard are they dating my brain is so full of queer shit that im so deadset on platonic hetero relationships - i paused for one second and unpaused and they kissed SO THAT ANSWERS MY QUESTION

idk what relationships to pay more attention to bc the dynamic between Mike and El interests me the most because of how compulsory everything feels and how El is going to navigate a completetly new environment and how Mike will cope with that? (im assuming its not well)

OH is this the !!! the guy that i see people talk about all the time YEAHHH THE BLOND MULLET MAN AND MAX what the fuck is his name Billy??? He looks trans

CRYING AT CHECKING OUT H IS ASS GIRL WAHT ASS HES FLAT HE HAS NOTH ING AKDSHASKHDKAJSH and those jeans are supposed to be supporting cheeks

I love Mr Clark so much and everyone who looks bored in his class just doesnt GET IT

BUT ALSO MAX I GET IT QUEEN the boys all staring are so good I FORGET THEY GO AS THE GHOST BUSTERS FOR HALLOWEEN

JOYCE MY MOM WHO IS THIS GUY HES??? GOOFY AND SHES SO HAPPY ??? BOB !!! i have no initial bad opinions of him bc hes silly and goofy and he makes Joyce so happy and she deserves to be SO SOSOS OS HAPPY and nothing but happy

IF i have to endure another god damn Hopper flash back im gonna throw up and scream and cry and lose my mind and I won't recover and I'll never come back

Im in call while I watch this episode because i really wanted to get through while and actually use my brain bc i don't that often - but my roommates bird is sitting next to her mic and farting really really softly into it and its making me lose my fucking mind

CORN MAZES WHEN YOURE TALL LOOK SO EASY AND LESS SCARY WHENEVER IM IN A FUCKING CORN MAZE ITS TERRIFYING AND I CANT SEE SHIT BC IM LIKE 2 FEET TALL

NANCCYCYY AND JOHNANATHANANSDNSAKDJ BESTIES BESTIES BESTIES BEST FRIENDS IM MAKING THEM A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET ITS THEIR FAVORITE COLOURS AND THEY NEVER TAKE THEM OFF

ADN STEVE TOO!!! IM SORRY YOURE A THIRD WHEEL BUT its the start of season 2 how do we feel about polyam relationships between them where the audience for that point me in the correct direction

DUSTIN IS RIGHT ALSO I LOVE HIM i love his little hats - MAX IS ALSO RIGHT

God i feel so ba for Will like to be??? singled out like that especially in elementary school? hell.

WHERE ARE THEY GOING TOGETHER WHAT IS HAPPENING ISNT THIS THE LAB ??? ougHHH THAt needle sound was unecessary

REALLY starting to see how this might be a different timelinei have no idea how ???? Joyce would.... trust them??? UNLESS THIS IS A HOSPITAL no its not ho films ina fucking hospital like this

also theyre mentioning the upside down

I understand needing to go back to the only place that fully understands that it exists and you need a place to talk to someone and also monitor him physically without being dismissed as insane - but i dont understand how Joyce OR Hopper would trust the Lab again after everything happened??????

I'm glad that he's actually getting help, and im glad that Joyce and Hopper are there to make him feel safe and support him given everything but !!!!!

this iS THE. He has PTSD. when did they get the word to describe that akjhaskjdh NVM HE JUST SAID IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO IS PRETENDING LIKE EVERYTHING IS NORMAL HELPFUL BC IT SURE THE FUCK IS N OT FOR ME ????????? also who is this DR hes kinder but "i need you to trust me" to JOYCE AFTER THE BRENNER SHIT ???

also them NOT MENTIONING IT WHEN THEY LEAVE BUT JOYCE UPSET ABOUT THE WHOLE "i need you to trust me" THING B UT NOT BRINIGN UP BRENNER?????? susususususus timeline shit anyway EM @ me tell me wahts up kiss kiss mwuah mwuah

OH they've upped their guinea pig game on entering the upside down and the gatelooks fucking uglier and uglier LOVE THE TORCH glad it works but no wonder the gate looks angry???

DUSTINNN I LOVE H IM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

ough i have a feeling her older brother is gonna ..... trigger me a lil but we'll get through it

THEM BOTH HAVING A CRUSH ON HER!!!!!

If YouR fRiEnD jUmPs OfF a ClIfF 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

THEYRE GOING OVER TO HAVE DINNER WITH BARBS FAMILY STOP STOP STO PST OPST OPST IM GONNA CRY Oh they hired a P.I okay yeah the bald guy he..... HIS CARD STOPPPPP

realizing they defenitely can't tell her parent's what actually happened to her an di hate that im gonna oaufkahd girl im so sorry im so sorry im so osrry UPSET BC SHE AS A CHARACTER DID NOT DESERVE TO DIE I WISH THEY HADN'T DONE HER DIRTY LIKE THAT

all the photos of her would make me so ill to look at like god NANCYYY THE GUILT AND B LAME GIRLIEEEE

also Mike rebelling after experiencing that kind of trauma and losing Will and El even though Will came back he's not the same of corse he's struggling - calling it with the !!!! WALKIE TALKIEEEE girl i miss her too

YEAHHH ITS dustiNNNN BUT HE AKSHDKAJSH

DUSTINNN IM KAHSDKJH I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HES SO SILLY !!!!!!!!!!!!! HES THE SILLY IN MY HEART

HONESTLY props to him again for not like invesigating something that was probably gonna be HORRIBLE he'd survive a horror movie

JOYCEEEEE IN MY FAV SHIRT SHES SO KISS KISS KISS KISS

Johnathan is such a good brother bro BUT ALSO WILL IS SO RIGHT I GET IT I GET IT I UNDERSTAND TREATING IT LIKE ITS NORMAL MAKES IT WORSE !!!! SOMETHING HAPPENED PLEASE ACKNOWLEGE THAT and JOHANATHANNN HES THE FREAK AND A WEIRDO

STOPA SDADKSHJ iT S THAT WHY YOU DONT HAVE ANY FRINEDS SHUT UP STOP STOP /POS

BOB i love you so far and ik that being a step parent in these situation (even tho hes only dating Joyce its the same) is so hard especially when there are kids involved BUT YOURE DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB

AND THEYRE ALL WATCHING THE MOVIE TOGETHER AHHH

ew the phone the trigger GIRL YOU GOT THIS ITS OKAY ITS OKAY BUT ALSO THATS SUCH A HORRENDOUS RINGTONE WHAT THE FUCK

love me a tech who accidentally ignores the alarms going off (i couldnt hear the song playing it feels important - unintentially placing importance on all the music in this show now thank u em)

OohuaAHDAKJH OH WILL IS GONNA get ,,,,, yoinked back again isn't he ouguhadhAKHDJS interesting that it really only affects the *outside* like doors are now portals in a way ? i cant remember if it affected the inside of the arcade immediately or not

OH MIST LOOKING MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wood Waffle Hours !!!!!!!!!! OH NO CABIN HOURS??? IS SHE. IS SHE. BIG EYE BALL EMOJIS LET ME SEE MY GIRL LET ME SEE THE BABY GIRL !!!! this entire scene makes it seem like shes a fucking AKSJDHA freak ass creature

HER HAIRRRRR SHES SO CUTE STOPPPP HOPPERS LITTLE SMILE IM TEARING UP AND CRYING ACTUALLY LOOK AT THEM LOOK AT THEM LOOKA T THEM OUGHHAHAHHHHHHHH IM HEAVING

thank u for reading these were my thoughts

#bo posting #stranger things #live blogging #st #I DONT HAVE MUCH TO ADD HERE IT WAS JUST A GOOD EP #REALLY LOVED THE COLD OPEN TOO

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aquaquadrant · 9 months

Note

(writing as i read lol, this isn't even an ask its a live reaction- do you like those- do people even normally do this- also am i late i dont know tumblr doesnt have dates)

NOT IN A MILLION YEARS DID I EVEN CONSIDER THE CONFRONTATION WAS GONNA HAPPEN IN FRONT OF JIMMY AHHHH

and the soulbound emotions thing- ooh i forgot about that headcanon thing!!

bravo's feeling guilty now- hopefully- he better be- the question mark on my keyboard is not working-

oh never mind then i hate bravo

OF COURSE WHAT BRINGS TANGO DOWN ID HIM CARING ABOUT JIMMY A H H H not guilt he can't handle any more-

atlas i am gonna kill him where is my gun

OH AM I SO GONNA KILL HIM

no jimmy people take you seriously just hahdjghjehs yeah im not gonna lie to you-

bravo i hate you a tiny bit less now

im stabbing atlas

AH YES THE LONG AWAITED FEATHER FACTORY who'd like some golden feathered arrows for the low low price of your humanity and any scrap of compassion you have left~

yay double life is here :D

ooooh they are so cool at fighting :D

oh no

bravo i hate you a little less more now (i would still kill you on site but we could be friends after that maybe, yknow-)

tangooo child noo be okay :(

oh hm bravo back in hels i do not think that will go well for him

bravo dont be dum pls

wIllIngly (oh lol its all l's)

he pulled a tango! (sort of-)

bravo i dont know how well it'll go for you but ayy get timmy out of this horrible place (i read the ask that said things get worse im scareddd)

that's all, huh. i genuinely thought tango was gonna go back.

well i hope that doesnt end up happening (i lie i live for angst)

excited for whatever comes next :D

-🦑

are u kidding i LOVE live-blog reactions, that’s actually what mel does when she reads each new update i send her.

bravo is a very fun, complex character to write. he’s the protagonist in his own mind, an antagonist to tango, but there’s also an ‘enemy of my enemy’ thing going on w him and atlas that’s now got flipped on it’s head. LOTS of interesting dynamics.

and dw, the story is far from being over. we’ve got three more chapters and an epilogue. this confrontation was just the start of the action, if u can believe it :3

#hels to pay au #HTP ask #also don’t ever worry abt ‘being late’#i actually love getting comments on old writing #and even if i can’t reply to ALL of it pls know it appreciate it #been reading this like the lovesick high schooler protag of an early 2000’s flick texting her crush #laying on my stomach kicking my feet giggling twirling my hair ect ect

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itsravenbitch · 1 year

Note

hii! im here 2 share my success story. QUICK TW FOR MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION AND S/H i was going through it

basically last school year i was failing everything. i have always been naturally smart, but depression brought me down and i had no motivation to try anymore, so i became known as the ‘dumb’ friend. my ‘friends’ constantly made fun of me for being stupid and i was so angry at myself because i knew i could literally get full marks in everything if i wasn’t mentally ill and if i didn’t have those hateful ass friends bringing me down 24/7. they always spoke down to me because they saw me as a person who knew nothing. one day where i was feeling extremely down and genuinely considering dropping out and seriously harming myself, i stumbled across loa tumblr. i think that was the universe giving me a sign that i could change, because it literally just randomly popped up on my dash out of nowhere. i read ur posts and after being so low for so so long i decided enough is enough. i began to affirm every day in the morning and before sleeping, basically telling myself i’m a genius, i’m mentally well, i am that bitch, etc etc. at first it was soooo hard bc obviously after being so depressed for so long it was really hard for me to believe, but i persisted and persisted until i believed it. then it literally all started looking up. i started getting full marks on all my tests without even studying much it was like the knowledge just came to me. my friends who used to bring me down started begging me to read my essays and help them study let me tell u it was SOOO satisfying seeing the look on their faces every time i told them the grades i got. obvi i never helped them tho cuz when did they ever help me? now im literally flourishing academically and mentally, i have new friends who bring me up rather than down, basically everythingg is going right. so to anyone struggling this shit is SO real. i went from rock bottom to my peak and so can u i believe in u all <3 and ty rae cuz ur posts helped me SOO much with realising my power and potential

first of all, fuck those “friends” you had.

and second, i’m SO proud of you for pulling yourself out of that low state. that takes initiative and ofc persistence.

i want everyone to know that no matter where you are physically or mentally, anything is possible!! look at this anon right here!! you did that, so congratulations and i hope the best for you!

#loa #successstories

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bingusbongu · 5 months

Text

Hey!!!!! Welcome to my brand new blog!!

I do headcanons and scenarios for your favorite characters! Regardless of the fandoms i know!

I write headcanons! And possible drabbles!!!

RULES FOR REQUESTING OF ME!!!

▪︎ i will not write for nsfw(including periods, pregnancy, heats, etc.) For now, im not comfortable writing for these certain requests, and will not hesitate to deny or ignore your request without further explanation

▪︎ no self h@rm topics, or suicidal requests, if you are experiencing any of this, help os available for you, i do not feel well writing for a sad and serious topic like this

▪︎ absolutely no proships, i will refuse and block you immediately. Though if its a platonic child and character ill allow it, as long as the request dosnt go into creepy stuff

▪︎what i write is what i write, you will not force your opinions on my posts that could be hurtful, not all opinions are to be said outloud, or else itll be deleted and you will be blocked. If you dont like my writing then please leave, i will not deal with it

▪︎ each reader insert will be gender neutral, unless specified in the request. Regardless, i do like to stray away from a specific gender to make it more appealing. So do not come after me if i dont use a gender that hasnt been specifed

▪︎ i take my time somtimes, i get burnt out quite easily, so i may not update or post much, but that dosnt mean you can pester me tell i get back!

What promts will i write for?

- i am more one for fluff asks, but i will occasionally do angst asks!

- will absolutely write LGBTQ+ content without a second thought!!!!

- fluff abcs!!!! Id LOVE to do that! [R theur reactions to types of kisses! That stuff makes me so happy:))

- i dont mind different types of readers! For instance, monster readers, i love those, or a reader that is really into something!

- can do both platonic and romantic! Want to be cuddly to one of your favorite characters? Me too bestie, i got u

- can do boyfriend/girlfriend/partner or husband/wife/spouse or other genders! And i can do it with kids, as long as its not a pregnate reader!

Im so so excited to start writing for tumblr!!!! I will admit i might be avit rusty, bit i find this as an opertunity to get better!!!!!!

My Masterlist<3

Love yall<33333 have fun with requesting!!!!! Im excited to try this out and yalls requests:))))

#x reader #reader requests #request rules #headcanon #AAAAA IM SO EXCITED TO TRY THIS OUT!!!!!!!!!

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13elmst · 5 months

Text

ahhh hello n happy openin day 2 us all!! im gemma ( s/h, 21+ ) n i write for jaehyun and sumi!! i've got their individual intros linked bc it's too long to put in one post xo what's new i cannot shut up : )) below r some event plot ideas that i came up w like 2 seconds ago so they're kinda questionable but anw if u r keen to plot pls LIKE this post n i'll come runnin!! and ofc if u have discord pls lmk bc tumblr ims and i have some longstanding beef...

on the night of the event, JAEHYUN is...

not attending the charity gala thx!! jaehyun is very anti together for daehan so he will not give any money 2 support them ( also he is the charity tq curious currenter 4 pointin that out )!! that said, jaehyun will b helpin get the blue hall ready 4 the afterparty so!! any evo members wna help direct him n get him 2 put his superstrength 2 good use!!! boss him around 🥴

ok i will alw push this agenda but any fans of gangcheori!! imagine u see the new capt there n u think this is the PERFECT time 2 share my strategies !! jaehyun's a pretty approachable dude so i feel like he'd take in on board ( tho he is also p proud so ease it on the pushiness mayb.... )

as per the event description im sure there's gna b an accident or two... who better to call 4 help than the dude w superstrength!! imagine u have a friend passed out somewhere questionable n u need help gettin them outta there n back 2 safety!! perhaps that dude breaking things when he walks past can help u out he looks strong...

alternatively a fight breaks out between u n someone else n jaehyun comes n puts a stop 2 it bc he dc ab fights but !! not @ the blue hall party!! this is evo's moment don't turn it into a crime scene!! OR jaehyun is also v trigger happy n easy 2 anger so if someone from together from daehan / other sporting rally houses annoys him n ur muse is tryna step in between... watch out for those hands tho he packs a mean punch!!!

he's probably taken over as the student bouncer at some point during the night ( for like j a short moment tho cause he wna party too!! ) so what if ur muse rocks up late from the charity gala.... how r u gna convince mr t4d suxx

um jaehyun is a classic fuckboy so yk imagine yall ended wrongly or he treated u not gr8 n yall meet for the first time since yall ended things... wyd

on the night of the event, SUMI is...

attending the shit outta that charity gala she's slashin her aunt's life savings by a QUARTER !!! sumi will b dressed 2 the nines bc one thing she will do is turn up !! imagine u have an art piece put up n sumi bids on it!! then comes 2 u n tells u what a good job u did n how pretty it is

alternatively if she hates it n laughs @ it w her friends n ur in earshot... wyd do u fight her sumi loves 2 gossip but one thing she won't do is throw hands she's a wimp like that

sumi will def be hitting the gala w her red hall girlies so!!! red hall girlies wya!!!

this is meant 2 b a classy event n uh oh sumi's alr kinda drunk... she's laughin a lil too loudly n gettin drinks spilled everywhere r u gna try 2 tell her 2 take it easy!! ( note: it will not work she will at some point in the night dash of, see plot below )

as much as sumi loves t4d she also loves blue hall parties so once 10.30pm comes around ya gorl is dashin!! she'll turn up 11.01pm beggin the bouncer 2 let her in... what if ur the bouncer!! girl who CLEARLY is from the gala tryna have her cake ( attend the charity gala ) n eat it too ( attend the blue hall party ) will u let her in...

IF she gets in she's j gna b partyin the night away!! j generic party plots wud b fun 2 explore hehe i.e. gettin drunk n havin smth messy happenin aka someone's passed out on the toilet n that's the only one that's usable n u n sumi rly need to pee... u gna drag them out or what

#nm:intro #—— gemma shut up!#ok tumblr stopped letting me send welc messages n im scared so....... welcome everyone who didnt get a message im so sry....#pls dont shadowban me tumblr im a real person

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the-perfect-scientist · 26 days

Text

GET TO KNOW THE MUN! 🌟

Tagged by: @hellcab (thank u!)

NAME?: H

PRONOUNS?: They/Them

MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?: Carlos. For some reason it's Demon-flavored Carlos, though I do have other AUs available.

RP PET PEEVES?: Lack of communication, though I'll be the first to admit that I'm also bad at it (I get nervous talking to people >w>)

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS?: Been Rping for 16 years, though 9 has been more serious here on Tumblr. Still new to table-top RP.

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION?: IMs on tumblr, or you can ask me for my Discord and we can talk/rp there too :)

BEST EXPERIENCE?: I find that I have my best experience when my partners are just as excited about the thread as I am. ^^

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT? : Carlos has had more than his fair share of angst, and there will be more always. Fluff is fun too. I haven't rped smut in years (just haven't felt like it for some reason?? Not that I'm full-on opposed though.)

PLOTS OR MEMES?: I like memes because they're quick and can turn into longer threads. But plotting gets the more substantial stuff definitely.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES?: I try to match, but I like slightly long replies, like two or three paragraphs (a paragraph meaning a new text block, which sometimes can be just one line of dialogue, which is fine)

TIME TO WRITE?: I try to get to threads in the afternoons, but with school sometimes I'm stuck with doing the longer ones in the weekends.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: Kind of? I mean, Carlos is WTNV canonically autistic, and so am I. I make puns or joked where I can (though my delivery needs some work XD), and I like to think that I'm a smart person though not formally trained (I'm not a scientist of anything). He's helped me to explore my masculine side, which is great since I don't go out much.

Tagging: Anyone!

#ooc #about the mun #about me

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tixdixl · 2 months

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#3 of your latest ask game reblog for Oisín? 👀

Thank you for the ask! I really appreciate it!

Tell me about a complicated relationship with your OC.

Oh this is an interesting one. Assuming Tumblr won't eat my response like it did last time, I'm actually gonna answer with 3 different relationships. It's gonna be a bit of a long post- I do apologize for that. 😅

Dire Crowley

So I'm currently not through Book 7, so Im operating on a theory. But if my theory is correct and Crowley is planning some ressurection shenanigans, u h .... lets just say Crowley and Oisín are actively blackmailing each other.

Oisìn being a dullahan really is not thrilled with the idea of someone trying to reverse death. Especially when their Signature Spell assists them in doing their job of ferrying targets to the other side.

Crowley on the other hand would have absolutely no problem just spilling Oisín's secret to the world if they so happen to step out of line.

So yeah.... Black mail.

Malleus Draconia

I talked quite a bit about this here, but I've actively been exploring their dynamic beyond what I wrote in that ask. Beyond their power imbalance, Malleus finds Oisín's internal struggle to be akin to his own, but he's not about to coddle anyone or hold their hand. And when Malleus called Oisín out on it directly instead of passively, it definitely facilitates this new sense of imbalance. Few people can read Oisín beyond the text on the screen. And Malleus calling him out basically indirectly states "I can see right through you." And that's a vulnerability they are NOT used to confronting.

Azul Ashengrotto

Boy where do I even start? Azul fucks around and finds out after nearly killing Oisín in order to test a theory. And Oisín deliberately chooses not to use their Signature Spell on him despite being in the right and having the ample opportunity to do do. Sure, they are able to do equitable business later, but there is a looming threat that hangs over their relationship. If someone were to tip that balance... someone could very well end up dead. But of course they are on good terms now... right...?

#Oisín is such a fun character to muse with #ty again for the ask #twst #twst ocs #twst oc ask game #Oisín Anbás #my ocs #Seris talks #changeofheart69

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jihaerin · 1 year

Text

hey everyone, glad to be here! i’m alisa (s/h), writing for ji haerin. i have an about page up with some stats & a short biography, but i’ll go more in-depth into her personality / as a person under the cut. i’m available on tumblr ims and discord, so drop a little heart if you’d like to plot.

not obliviously beautiful in the sense that she doesn’t know she is pretty— like, come on. if she paid that much for a new face and came out ugly, she’d have to sue. more in the sense that she fixates on all the perceived flaws she still sees, and in her mind, she still feels like the ugly duckling. catch her checking herself out in every reflective surface she passes!

hates the spotlight because she’s never really had so much attention on her before! & also she feels like a fraud lolz …. was kept out of (the pretty limited) media attention her family got because she mostly attended school overseas.

a lil bit of a control freak re: how she's regarded/perceived so she tends to curate all her sns posts (yes, even on her finsta) very carefully & has no public online presence as a result.

does not know who the FAWK leaked her photos but is pissed about it. moreso about people seeing it and remembering her days in middle school than being exposed for having had work done.

is relatively upfront about that-- will probably be like "lol who hasn't" if u ask her if she's gone under the knife. it's just that no one has... yet. is more concerned with keeping her family's identity private than the fact she's had her nose done.

regarding her scandal: yeah, it happened. they were all 14, and absolute menaces, and things just got out of hand. she really doesn't care too much about what happened since no one's blameless; only thing she regrets is how far everything went and how much it blew up.

is now pursuing a career in the arts... because she's rich enough to <3 came back to seoul for hs and stayed for uni, but has plans to go to grad school overseas.

genuinely pretty cool if she thinks you are, too! very loyal--- which is why the middle school mess happened. a bit of a ditz, but how much of that is a front is... eh.

would love to brainstorm & come up w individualised plots / rls with everyone, so :~) hmu !

#xoxo.intro

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student-in-nightraven · 1 year

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hello!^^ this is my first request [its been a really long time since ive acc requested on tumblr and stuff so sorry if im crusty o(TヘTo) , ps how are you? :D] could i please have a twisted wonderland match make personality: im a person would will throw myself on you as a 'hug' , and i will roast the mfing out of u if you're super annoying [pls i acc nice] , i hate hate hate when fights break out in my class but ill stil give a non-biased report on every.single.detail. I can lose my temper quickly and would "talk back" even though its hard to control my mouth , anyways i love cats i will litterly miss my bus for petting a cat. i wont budge if you shout scream or even hit i really wont bother if you're just downright giving me a headache , i love to just drop kick people like i did once when it was on accident but my friend fell on her back and i was apologetic. MBTI:intp likes: reading [a really big bookworm] , i like to play on my switch and i dont personally like art but im good at it , i love creative writing and and im in the makes of making own , its a dark angsty novel if ya wanna know.[ a lil sneak peak 'As Francis held the remaining petals, his sobs were filling up the silence in the hole of his mind yet no sound truly came out. he felt that his legs fail to support him no longer as he collapsed into the pitch black void of his feelings....'] i like desserts and sour things , dislikes:i really really hate being confronted, and i hate over working to much since i feel exhausted . i hate being accused a lot and i really really really hate being bullied. appearance: shoulder length dark-brown hair with hazel coloured eyes, i short despite my age and was mistaken for a person about 2 grades/years younger than me 😭 , i wear blue ombre glasses! [ps. dont overwork your self on anything - a new follower☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆]

Awe well aren't you just the sweetest!! I match you with...

... Ace!

Can I just say, c h a o t i c. But in a cute way😻

We all know how it went down when ace first met yuu, so when he was being a little ass you did NOT hesitate to put him in his place, after a little rivalry you grew closer and instead of being eachothers problem decided to be the nrcs problem ✨

Ace is cheering you on whenever your beefing with riddle, which to may I add is basically every single day- I mean who are you to blame? He is overly strict and someone has to be brave enough to tell him so, which is why ace bows to you, and as a gift gifts you a cherry pie which he made himself! (I hc he's good at baking especially when it's related to cherries)

expects praises but doesn't at the same time, like he'll be all "oh I'm such a good boyfriend I deserve compliments!!" and when you actually compliment him he freezes and blushes;

He is so jealous of grim, he can't pry your hANDS OFF OF HIM, your holding grim 24/7 and ace just stares at you, with tears in his eyes/hj

Asked vil if he could turn him into a cat once no joke, he actually did, he was a ginger cat with the softest fur-

You gasped and immediately cradled the cat in your arms unaware who it really was, coincidentally the spell wore off soon and he turned into his original form which you were barely able to hold;

He apologized and so did you, you told him you'd make it up for him with a date to which he gladly agreed to;

He definitely takes glances at what you're writing " is it about mee?~" "Ace for the last time, NO-"

You drop kicked him and he deserved it

If you accidentally overworked or are close to it he immediately runs up to you and drags you far away from your desk, bringing you anywhere else to either cause trouble or just relax, yep ladies gentlemen and non binary hoes ace actually can relax, crazy ik😻

But yeah he may be an ass but he cares, so much about you, loves you dearly but wouldn't admit it outloud unless you were asleep, then he whispers it, you smirk and he chokes on his words and yells at you;

You 2 are the enemies to friends to lovers couple

Thank you for the request dear annon! Your book sounds very interesting, I might take a peek👀, bye for now! Have an amazing week<3

#twisted wonderland #x reader #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #ace trappola #ace trapolla x yuu #ace trappola x reader #twst fluff #matchups

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tis-the-marmot · 11 months

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OUUUUUGH DUDE SORRY IF THIS IS A WEIRD ASK BUT LIKE

ITS SO RARE TO FIND AN ARTIST WHO DOES NOT 1 NOT 2 BUT 3 OF YOUR FAV FANDOMS AND IM SO GRATEFUL FOR THAT

sorry for the yelling I am going to explain calmly-

I first saw you on twitter (lurker with no acc) some years ago making art of vtsom when it was relatively new and I fell in lovewith your style

and then just some months ago I found you on tumblr with art of Elder Scrolls (my current main fandom), one with a reall nice drawn Miraak and I was like WAIT OMG. instant follow

and then just now I see art of Pokemon!!! that was my biggest fandom before TES and. just. O U G H perfection amazing art for all o my main fandoms >w< I give many thanks to you! keep up the awesome work!

HII AND OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND WORDS, I'M SO HAPPY TO FIND OUT SOMEONE APPRECIATES MY ART SO MUCH AND SHARES SO MANY OF MY INTERESTS!! I'M ESPECIALLY SURPRISED YOU MENTIONED VTSOM CAUSE IT'S WAY LESS-KNOWN THAN THE OTHER 2 ((YOU HAVE AN IMMACULATE TASTE IN FANDOMS BTW))

NO BUT SERIOUSLY THIS MESSAGE HAS JUST MADE MY DAY!! I'M NOT LYING WHEN I SAY IT GIVES ME THE MOTIVATION TO KEEP DRAWING AND POSTING MY ART ONLINE😭💓💓 SO THANK YOU AGAIN!!

#ask box #also if you ever wanna chit-chat about any of our shared fandoms my dms are always open!!

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whumpshaped · 1 year

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thank u for the tag @pigeonwhumps @whump-queen @a-crumb-of-whump !! ive been skipping tag games for a while now i wanna get back on it. tho this might not be the best to start w given i dont fucken listen to music

Rules: Make a new post and spell out your url with song titles, then tag as many people as there are letters in your url.

W - wake up alone - amy winehouse

H - house of wolves - my chemical romance

U - under the balkan stars - red army choir

M - made you look - meghan trainor

P - psycho - red velvet

S - shanghai romance - orange caramel

H - he can only hold her - amy winehouse

A - a-ing - orange caramel

P - peek-a-boo - red velvet

E - eleven - ive

D - dear city - red army choir

if anyone judges me im leaving tumblr

@hidden-dreamland and thats all- all my friends have done this and im too nervous to tag new ppl so there u go lmao sorry- IF U WANNA DO THIS THO. DO IT. CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED

#tag game

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coldercreation · 2 years

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skdjaks im catching up on ur recent posts cuz ive been inactive on tumblr, and i came across the one where u and some ppl in the replies lament on loving the idea of relationships but never developing crushes rlly and finding it hard to date and whatnot, and damn i relate. i was gonna comment but i wanna stay anon for now, so i am in ur inbox instead huhu. but yh i deal w the same thing, ppl have had crushes on me before, but ive never once returned them? and like even if i find someone attractive as far as i know that doesn’t translate to wanting to bone… blech. i was talking to my friend abt this yesterday, and i was telling her that maybe ill try just going on dates and figure out how i tick?? general research has led me to id as demi after contemplating ace when i was like 13 so,,, who knows rlly. tldr i am similar and i get being confused abt it H

Ohh this is so interesting actually! Like, I genuinely wasn't expecting that so many of you would relate when I wrote that post??🤔 Obviously I knew that there's no way that I'm the only one on this whole planet, but still, seems a lot more common than what I had thought!

I'd like to think that it's very much okay to be confused by these kinds of things, no matter how frustrating it can also be. That's pretty much what I've been telling myself recently. Even if I'd like to find someone I really connect with and to have a relationship, there's no rush or need to force anything immediately just for the sake of it. Maybe it can even be fun to explore with time, and to figure out those things that will make us tick?

For me it's probably more about working on my social life in general than about anything else. Especially since the apps clearly don't do it for me and there's not really any other ways to meet new people. But I'm kinda feeling optimistic about it, mostly because I've been enjoying being social so much more lately!

Thank you for sharing love! This topic has been so interesting and I've enjoyed hearing everyone's experiences xx

///

Huge RAMBLE warning lmao:

I actually brought this topic up in therapy after we chatted about it here, kinda just theorised about it while trying to make sense of it all. My/our conclusion was that, for me, it could stem from ✨trauma✨ and needing a lot of time to truly open up/warm up to people (demi?/trust issues/hyper-independence). And since the societal norm is to often move a lot faster than that, I haven't even had the time to see the possible connection/spark/whatever in people, because they've already deducted, based on me having been very cautious and closed off, that I'm not interested, and so they moved on. Which in turn could've made me feel unwanted or uninteresting or unattractive or even abandoned, y'know? So I'd be left confused, feeling like there was something wrong and unattractive? about me, while also wondering why I'm never actually interested in anyone even though I've always longed for those deep connections with people.

Nowadays I've been feeling a lot lighter and... open? I guess, and I can genuinely see a change in the way people approach me? Or maybe they've always approached me the same way but I just wasn't able to be receptive to it🤔 Dunno! But there must've been some sort of micro-visible behavioural shift in me or something, because as soon as I have started to feel like I can and want to seek out people's company and I genuinely enjoy it, people are just... suddenly there? Whereas before there was this void?? Even when I tried to change that.

And despite me not having met anyone specific I'd be interested in dating, I have felt like I could actually do it now if the right person came along. (When I tried dating through apps years ago I felt like I was forcing it. It was very surface level and short lived, didn't feel... right?) And with that 'shift', or whatever it is that's changed in my behaviour??? I've literally been dodging date invites this past year like it's a sport???? Like tf?😭😂 This is mind boggling to someone who has for years thought that no one just gives a shit about me and there's something so unattractive about me that that's why no one shows any interest... But I think it really is a lot to do with some strange subtle messages that were given off? (and maybe also me leaving the house sometimes lmao....) I believe I wrote it in one of the more brainy stories as well, maybe CYE?, that if someone's whole body language, subconsciously or not, screams 'leave me the fuck alone', people are likely to leave them alone. And if we're not aware that that's the message we're giving off, it can very easily make us feel confused and like something's inherently wrong with us.

But then again, I don't think I would've been ready for anything like this a few years back, so perhaps the brains are smarter than we think and know that it takes time to heal. My therapist agreed that not having crushes could be due to so many things, but what I was saying did track to him. Slow to warm up/demi? + (social) anxiety + trauma are a hell of a combo when it comes to building new relationships. No matter why I'm not having crushes easily, he told me to take it easy on myself and to be understanding; after dealing with mental health crap and trauma for most of my life, it'd be very unreasonable to compare myself to the societal 'standards' or expect myself to do things in the same phase as other people are. Like, I had other shit to deal with growing up, so maybe I'm just now feeling like I'm ready to be myself, and it's okay to take things slow.

(And while writing that, speaking about people suddenly being there when before I felt like no matter what I tried, I was struggling to connect with people; I just got a thank you text from someone I helped at work when they were upset about something, and they said they'd love to see me (this one is in a friend way, not a date way) outside of work sometime as well :((((( is it weird if I cry lmaooo) xx

#apologies for possible incoherent writing hahaha #I word vomited but now feel too lazy to check if it makes any sense #SORRY ANON for using your ask to ramble :'O #I found this topic so interesting though #and figured maybe my therapy ramble could be insightful for someone else too when it comes to this #obviously this is very strongly tied to just my own experience #and to my interactions with my personal therapist #so keep that in mind #maybe you can relate to some of this #or none of this #that's okayyy #we all have our own journeys!<3 #Thank you anon again for sharing #and for everyone who's shared on this topic #xx

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