Tumgik
#im kinda able to focus so far ok
opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
Text
...
#i experience an emense amount of guilt ovet not being able to focus on work. go into the lab and run into a lab mate and hes like#u leave Thursday? why tf r u here? and that makes me feel a lil better lol#ive just being data entering all day. that takes so fucking long. and then helping an undergrad#exept my code was out of date so i was like welp i can only get u this far bc i did not write this code. i do not work with the#supercomputer on a regular enough basis. and i gave my 30 days notice today so ill be working remotely until the 18th#i probably should have done it way before but like ive still got so much to do i might as well get paid for doing it#the undergrad was like id probably work to the end bc i feel lost when im not working and i was like. bro. im so fucking brunt out that ppl#around me r like yo r u ok? theres a thing as too much work. dont cross that line. snd ill still probably work to the end bc i dont wanna#have to do it on top of other shit. but god. in a few days i never have to go back in that building again#sometimes having to be in that lab would make me feel physically ill i thibk just bc i have so much stress associated with standing at that#lab bench but woof i will not miss it. its not great. the ppl r nice but like the institution kinda sucks. but i probably#wasnt the best fit for the school. i only cane out here for my advisor and on that front i have no regrets#god im so tired tho. just make it Thursday already so my parents can b helping me move >~< lets fucking goooooo#srry for not posting much drawing wise. i prob wont b able to for a while as i transition across the country lol#also. a note to myself. i should get a proper sketchbook so i can actually draw out ideas and store them in a place. that would b convenient#god. its so hot 😖 let me leave#unrelated
5 notes · View notes
tinymoon-beam · 2 months
Note
Hiiiii
I just read your cg Papa hc's, im a sucker for secondo hehe. Could we maybe get some regressed Phantom who maybe gets lost and Secondo finds him or something?
Ok I loved this!
Please remember I don't know Secondo as a Papa so I just kinda let him do whatever and went along with it (also I'm just going with the papas are brothers and I'm not going to get deep into that lore right now lol)
Cw: lost Phantom, scared Phantom, mention of Summonings
Tumblr media
They aren't sure where they are, they can't remember ever seeing this part of the Abbey before but they had been distracted and must have taken a wrong turn and now....
Well now they are in some dark wing that smells wrong, magic still lingering on the air and even though it's old it's still heavy. They think maybe they can pick up Omega and Aether in the scent but they aren't sure and their tummy hurts from how nervous it makes them.
This is somewhere they are definitely not supposed to be.
The corridor looks like it goes on forever and when they look back on where they've already walked it seems just as long.
They want to be brave....they try but it just seems to be getting darker and they are scared and they just want Swiss. The tears start and they sit on the floor, knees under their chin and sniffling wondering if anyone would even be able to find them...
A shuffle toward the end of the hall has them whimpering, shaking where they've curled themself up on the floor. They don't dare look, hoping that whatever it is won't see them and will just keep walking.
Whatever it is pauses not too far from them. They can feel it but they are too scared to be able to focus on who's energy it is. They cry harder and nearly scream when a hand settles lightly on their arm.
"Phantom?"
They recognize the voice but it's not as familiar as others, but it's soft and when they glance up from where they've hidden their face in their knees, they are met with Papa Secondo looking at them.
"What are you doing down here, Piccolo ragno?" (Little spider)
"I...I g-got lost!" They wipe at their eyes, trying to be brave in front of the former Papa. "I-it feels bad h-here..."
"Would you like a hug?" Phantom nods and lunges forward, throwing themself into his arms. "Does it feel bad or does it feel different?"
They aren't sure, it's scary, they don't know exactly what they are feeling. "D-don't know..."
Secondo hums in understanding, still holding onto the little ghoul. "Do you remember when you were summoned?"
They don't, not really. They remember being scared and lots of yelling but not much more than that. They shake their head, snuggling closer to his chest.
"The summoning circle is down here. That's what you're feeling. Omega used to hate coming down here until he got used to the energy. It was like trying to give a cat a bath to get him down here! Screeching and yowling!"
Secondo mimics the noises, much more dramatically than strictly necessary, but Phantom laughs and that's all that matters.
"Would you like to see it? Maybe that would make it feel a little less scary?"
They bite their lip, fingers curling into Secondo's shirt. "It w-wont take me b-back will it?"
"Oh mio piccolo ragno, no, I would never allow that to happen. You will be safe, I promise." (My little spider)
They think about it for a moment, they always like when Swiss explains scary things to them, it helps make them not as scary but this...this is really scary.
They hold Secondo's hand tight while he leads them down the hall. They pass a library and Phantom tilts their head, they know there is another one upstairs.
"This is for the much older books, ones we want to take extra good care of. That's why I was here, I was coming for one of my favorite stories."
Phantom hadn't noticed the book in his other hand until now but it does look pretty old.
They feel it the closer they get,  the air gets heavier, tickles across their skin like static right before lightning strikes. They get dizzy, swaying slightly until Secondo steadies them.
"Take a moment. Big breaths."
They do as they are told, following along with Secondo's breathing. He leads him into the room after a bit, once Phantom is more stable on their feet.
"W-wow..." They whisper when they get into the room, the summoning circle in the middle of the room, all the elemental sigils carved into the stones.
Secondo shows them the book containing the summoning spells, how each element has their own special one, that Multi Ghouls are sort of a mix of all of them. He shows them the ritual candles, certain colors for each element and explains the way they'd be set out.
"T-then we come o-out from the m-middle?"
"That's right."
"B-but how are we p-picked?"
"Lucifer sends His very best Ghoul for whatever the Papa doing the summoning needs."
"I w-was the best for P-papa?"
Secondo smiles at their big bright eyes and he cups their chin. "The very best."
He lets the little ghoul explore a bit longer, asking questions that impress the retired Papa, fascinated by the way their brain works.
"I'm sure everyone is worried. Should we head back?"
"Ok!" They take his hand again, chatting happily by his side as they make their way down the corridor. It's less scary this time.
Copia skids to a halt when Secondo and Phantom make it to the ghoul wing.
"Swiss!"
The multi ghoul rushes forward at the sound of his name, grabbing the little ghoul up, squeezing them tight to his chest.
"S-Swiss! You're s-squishing me!"
"Where were you!"
"Our little friend here took a wrong turn and got lost in the summoning hall."
Aether flinches from behind Copia, moving to touch Phantom's hand.
"Are you ok?" He reaches out with his magic.
"Oh they were very brave. Much more than you and Omega ever were!"
Phantom giggles and Secondo winks at them while Aether mutters under his breath about weird energy and funky magic.
"You scared me, mi amor. I couldn't find you."
"I'm s-sorry. I didn't m-mean to!"
Swiss cups the back of their head, pulling them down against his shoulder. "I know you didn't, it's not your fault. I just..."
He cuts himself off, feeling the lump in his throat. He reminds himself that they're safe, they're in his arms, they're ok.
Secondo starts to walk away, heading back toward the other wing.
"W-wait!" They shove at Swiss' chest for a second. "Put m-me down!"
He does as he's told and Phantom sprints toward the retired Papa, throwing their arms around his middle. He smiles at them, his hand resting between their horns.
"Thank you P-papa Secondo for m-making me not s-scared."
"Non c'è di che, piccolo ragno." (You're welcome little spider.)
Swiss carries Phantom off, everyone else dispersing now that they know the little ghoul is safe.
Copia scurries to catch up with Secondo, taking note of the book in his hand.
"Posso unirmi a te, fratello?" (Can I join you, brother?)
He smiles and throws his arm around Copias shoulders. "Sei sempre il benvenuto, fratellino." (You are always welcome, little brother)
159 notes · View notes
radicallyaligned · 2 months
Note
Hey, hope you doing well! I was just wondering if you had any advice for me?
I'm 25 and only fairly recently had for the first time had sex. It was with a guy I went home from the club with and I found that I a.) really enjoyed sex and the physical intimacy involved, but also b.) liked the 'no strings attached' approach. I've done this a lot of times now and maybe I've been very lucky, but I've never had a bad experience. I don't have any interest in dating, and want to focus on my own life, but I still enjoy courting and sex. Except I've found now that I'm suddenly being kinda shunned by friends and family. Most of who were making fun of me for being too much of a 'good girl' before, but are now basically calling me a wh*re.
My super 'open minded' left wing mom acts revolted by me. It feels like I've dropped in social standing or something. My friends and family members are suddenly far less polite/respectful around me. My mom tells me Im insecure and desperate for male attention. She also wants me to hurry up and find one guy to give her grandkids with. And she doesn't really care who the guy is or if i even like him.
I get many radfems are critical of PIV sex and I understand why, and that sex can be used as a form of self harm, and i get the inherent power dynamic at play but also... I just enjoy sex and having a fun/flirty connection with someone then being able to go back to my life.
Idk this is a bit of a long rant! But I feel kind of conflicted, it seems the majority of people think that routinely sleeping with different men you don't know is a bad idea, and maybe its only a matter of time before it goes wrong. But also, I don't see it as 'giving' men sexual access to me, or 'letting' them do what they want, it always feels like something im an active participant in, and it sounds very... idk purity culture maybe? to talk about sex like something women provide rather than enjoy. Like im on contraception, i always use protection and abortion is readily accessible where I live. So in that sense its relatively low-risk fun, but everyones acting like ive picked up a crack pipe and started smoking or something.
Ok
1. I think grown adults (>22?) having casual sex is fine if its what they want, and not a step they're trying to use to enter relationships. It becomes an issue when hookup culture extends to teen girls, and when hookup culture is normalized in a way that all women are expected to accept it, and when it's used as a barrier to entry or trial run of relationships. But if you are a grown woman who genuinely enjoys casual sex (hi👋), you are not hurting anyone. PIV carries the same risks across all relationships, be they casual or serious, but obviously the frequency you are exposing yourself to those risks increases as the amount of PIV does. Proceed with caution. Use condoms ALWAYS , and I recommend pairing that with a birth control YOU control as well. It sounds like you're doing that. Also - get tested regularly. Either between partners or every 3-4 months.
2. Why are you sharing with your mother and relatives that you are having casual sex? I'm not sure if perhaps you're in a different culture than the U.S, but standardly that isn't a topic discussed with relatives. And if you're sharing this, the reaction could very well be that you're discussing with them stuff that is usually kept private or between friends. OR you are reading into their discomfort at you sharing this info and have some internal thoughts about your sex life you need to address? Regardless, your friends pulling away is super weird.
I hope this helps!!
10 notes · View notes
missgowgow · 7 months
Text
uncanny counter season 2 is definitely weaker than season 1 (tbf season 1 was really well written so it’s hard to live up to) but im not able to fully place why, I think my main problems are
1. the villains are wayyy less fleshed out and what we do have doesn’t work well with prior world building. I was down for “they came back for revenge” thing but it’s not focused on as much as the money and there’s no real reason for them to be that focused on the money? with the exception of baek hyang-hui who’s rage was based on her expensive tastes, evil spirits were characterized to be driven by fulfilling their impulse for violence and by strong desires from their human lives (ie. ji cheong-sin helping his adoptive dad and protecting the kids at the orphanage). gelly and hwang pil-kwang are definitely doing violence but they obviously must have other motivations if they’re so focused on this money and I feel like there hasn’t even been hints/slow character building about what those motivations are. ma joo-seok is getting fleshed out really well as a sympathetic villain so that makes up for a lot.
2. the few plot points from season one that could be followed up on feel like they’ve been dropped. we still don’t really know why so mun is special. it felt like they were hinting at romance between so mun and hana that was entirely dropped. even minor things like whether chu mae-ok went to the wedding or if mo-tak got in touch with jeong-yeong’s family after her death. kinda feels like a new story in the same universe instead of a continuation of the existing story.
3. not enough non-supernatural stuff. season 1 was strong imo because it showed how the supernatural was wrapped up in the mundane. evil spirits are abusive husbands and shitty bosses and school bullies. ordinary evils could also be possessed by evil spirits. even ji cheong-sin was being used as a hit man by normal evil businessmen who just cared about profit. it made everything feel more real and made the characters feel like people who existed outside of the plot. I’m feeling much less of that so far this season. big exception there is hana and her high school crush. was really hoping on more of a focus on what exactly everyone thinks so mun is doing rn if he’s not in college (also how did that happen?)
that being said, I’m actually really enjoying the season and I feel like the episodes are getting stronger as they go so I have high hopes. it’s just that season 1 was really well written so that every plot line was relevant and connected and every character was well fleshed out, so it felt jarring going right from season 1 to season 2.
(also this is petty but I wish they had kept the tighter curls from season 1, everyone looks really good there’s nothing to complain about, I just liked the tighter curls as a story element lol)
12 notes · View notes
radiation · 9 months
Note
What was your inspiration/s for the game ?
This is kind of a tough question. The initial idea for the game that i came up with and vaguely entertained in my head in 2020 focused almost entirely on the "atmospheric horror" "RPGMaker game" aspect of it. Neal and jack didnt really exist i was just like ok i guess there are 2 guys. no idea what their personalities were and it wasnt really important bc th emain focus was atmosphere. So some things that inspired this early idea were 2001: A Space Odyssey (specifically the novels), like vaguely some vaporwave ass liminal space kinda shit, and my impression of RPGMaker horror games without having actually played any of them at the time (i played them later but i didnt really need to). Theres other stuff but theyre for such specific reasons theyd be spoilery
The idea for the game has definitely evolved very far from that. I completely forgot about the idea for a really long time and then suddenly re-remembered it in January 2022 immediately after finishing Disco Elysium, which is now my favorite game of all time. It really sparked a shit ton of motivation in me and realized how much more i could do with the basic idea I'd come up with before. So it was definitely a huge inspiration but I dont think u can expect to find a toooon of specific Disco Elysium DNA in Our Dirge beyond "Well both games are simultaneously funny and serious and it has a painterly art style". Although I will say the portrait art style was definitely super directly inspired by disco elysium even though it still looks quite a bit different
Beyond that i straight up dont know, a lot of the ideas kind of just sprang up out of nowhere which is often how it tends to be for me. Almost none of the music is inspired by anythign it just happened, the idea for jack and neal's personalities passively formed in my mind pretty quickly between late january/early feb 2022, dialogue is done by instinct, art style beyond portraits also just kind of appeared mostly formed in my brain. Im sure a bunch of stuff has influenced me but id be damned to be able to trace any of it
12 notes · View notes
madisonrooney · 1 month
Text
late night/early morning emotional thoughts about miley once again
it breaks my heart how the miley fandom on tumblr died out. i had SO much fun in it in the bangerz era. it was like the second major wave of my miley fandom, with the initial hyperfixation starting in 2009 and going up until the end of HM being the first. even if i was too shy to actively talk to more than like 3 people, i still felt involved and it felt so interactive. to have open discussions going on, to have organic thoughts about things happening, not to mention a couple great update blogs and boatloads of content. it was just great.
i dont think i was fully aware that it was so depleted until when younger now was about to come out and it was essentially a ghost town. it was sad. some time after that i think, i somehow found that there still was an active fandom, it was just on twitter now. that was what really broke my heart. ive had too much social anxiety to ever get twitter (primarily bc the focuses of these fandoms are like. actually on there) and by the time i discovered this, that part of me as far as miley goes had kinda slowed down, likely at least partially as a result of the lack of the tumblr fandom. ive said this before, and i still hate to admit it, but im not at the same level as i was 2009-14, even up until 2016 ish, and theres nothing i can really do about that now. i cant force it. i still love her to bits and have talked about how about a year ago i realized i was neglecting my miley fandom more than i wanted to and worked to make it more active and im so glad i did, but i cant force it to be like what it was then, and thats ok. its not like she herself did anything wrong to cause that.
buuuuuuut there is a little someone else to blame lol.
obviously a certain someone who i started hyperfixating on in 2014 being the only other celebrity i ever hyperfixated on to that degree and is STILL the only other one, being much closer to my age, and being much more accessible to the point where i met her for the first time within about a single year of this hyperfixation and would go on to meet her more than a dozen more times and establish a somewhat personal relationship with her...thats gonna rock the boat a bit. its hard to feel that personal connection with miley that i used to now that i know what a real connection like that feels like. so....i guess if theres anyone to blame, you can only blame miss chloe lol.
bottom line tho, i really do miss that tumblr fandom and wonder what things would be like had it survived through younger now, plastic hearts, and up to esv. but again, i cant force myself to go back to where i was then. its just strange that there are still a decent amount of active fandoms on here but that one practically died out entirely. maybe people feel the opposite of what i do and LIKE being able to interact with the focus of their fandom. i am too nervous for that lol.
2 notes · View notes
ok so this ask is part invitation to ramble/infodump about chemistry stuff and part ask abt why u chose/enjoyed chemistry as ur major (pls idk what to do with my life lol. i like chemistry but idk if its enough to do it like as a career yknow?)
HELLO ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE JUST ASKED FOR
Okay. For starters I actually didn’t go into college with the intent of being a chemist. My original major was secondary education with a focus in chemistry. Aka I wanted to teach high school chem. And that was because of my high school chem teacher, he was amazing and inspired me. I felt like I learned so much in his classes and I wanted to be like him and inspire others
Obviously thats not the route that ended up happening
Throughout my first few years, I got really involved in the chemistry clubs on my campus (ACS, GSE, etc). There was a lot of community in the chemistry department and thats where I made a lot of my friends too. I had people to study with and we helped each other, there wasnt a lot of competition. Once we got to o chem we were all just trying to survive lol.
Meanwhile, in the education department, over the years I grew more and more critical of it. It felt very cold and inhospitable. I barely knew my classmates. It felt more like a job in that it just kinda wore me down. And dont get me wrong! I LOVED my kids. I loved the actual teaching part. It was amazing. I made it all the way to student teaching because of my love for those kids. BUT. After covid hit. The education world got weird. It got too political. Its not about the kids anymore, its about doing whatever administration says. And I just couldnt take it.
A month before I would have graduated, I switched my major. Admittedly, it had been something I was thinking about since my junior year. I had taken analytical and environmental chemistry the same semester and really felt like I found my niche. (Please note here: there is no chemist who is good at all types of chemistry).
I ended up taking a 5th year to finish out a chemistry degree and get a math minor as well. I was really nervous about that decision, but that last year made me feel so much more sure of myself. I took a third analytical class, quantum mechanics, and inorganic chemistry (among other things like biochem). I learned I was *really* good at those things (unlike biochem Im lucky I passed that one). And now I have a job. Doing some instrumental work and data analysis
So I guess my decision to go into chem in the first place is just because the teacher who inspired me happened to be teaching me chemistry (though I was always a fan of science at heart)
As far as liking it enough to make it a career… well… I’ve discovered that I dont think I’m personally going to like anything for 40 hours a week for the rest of my life. And thats probably because Im out of an academic environment now, but yeah. My goal is to be able to have a chemistry job part time. Because full time just kinda makes me dread it. And Im lucky to have things in the works that might let that come to fruition in the next few years, butttttttt. Thats more of a critique on society as a whole than specifically chemistry
2 notes · View notes
cringelordofchaos · 6 months
Text
flicker adora headcanons!!
Lesbian, 2000 y/o, from planet called "Azulia" or sumth like that, alien, she/her, name means "beloved one", Adam is her older brother (only thing canon here)
Absolutely precious, pure, innocent
Likes to draw n doodle
Dyslexic + auDHD
Really energetic and extroverted
Smiles a lot, is generally very positive optimistic and bright
Very naive and socially oblivious (this leads to her being manipulated)
Doesn't know when people are being mean to her
Extremely curious to her own detriment
Has no hate in her heart
Rosalie is kinda jealous of how "perfect" she may seem and how much everyone loves her
Kinda stupid tbh but it's ok 🩷🩷 (hOLY CRAP THERES A NORMAL PINK HEART EMOJI NOW?)
Not a dog person, not a cat person, can't choose for the life of her
Although shes horrible at getting sarcasm and social cues she still managed to make a lot of friends during the game of flicker (before she dies) bc most of them were weirdos anyway and wouldn't judge her for her differences
Full of love
Bit reckless, impulsive and irresponsible
Silly
Loves stickers
Had a much easier time getting used to planet earth after their migration than adam
Adam is a bit overprotective of her (Im kinda starting to hate the "overprotective older brother" trope only because it's just so so common but. Er)
Adam was always more anxious cautious regarding danger
She loves to dance although she's horrible at it
She loves trying out new things though she might give up easily
Horrible memory
Feels kind of insecure over how reckless at times she is because it often leads her friends into danger, not just her
People pleaser?
Very accepting and loyal
Never breaks a promise (Erm... Not on purpose anyway)
Very indecisive
She feels like Adam babies her sometimes which is another insecurity of hers. Which leads her to try and be independent later on which kind of gets her killed
EXTREMELY tall
Role: muffin man? Saviour? Twin? Medic? All of those? Nah she's probably muffin man
Loves tree climbing
Insanely clumsy
Horrible spelling
Insanely kind
Insanely insecure
She literally doesn't and can't hate anyone or anyone's traits. She's far too forgiving to the point of her own detriment.
She also believes in people always deserving a second chance. And third chance. And fourth. Fifth. And so on and so forth
She would be such a girlblogger (I don't have a single clue as to what "girlblogging" is I just know she would do it)
Likes space
Separation anxiety?
She and her brother were forcibly torn apart with their past lives, families and friends due to... Complications to say the least. They feel completely alone in this new planet earth and they cope with it in entirely different ways
Bit of an escapist
Extremely blunt
Uses so many emojis
Sticks out her tongue while trying to focus a lot
Sucks at focusing
Stims a lot (pterodactyl noises, flapping hands, etc)
Due to her bluntness people at times perceive her as rude although it's never her intention to be mean
Likes colorfulness
Likes dinosaurs
If someone were to ask her who's her best friend, she wouldn't be able to answer because she likes all her friends equally. But realistically she's closest to her brother
She/her (she supposes) but she doesn't really *care* about other pronouns being used for her
Has a mischievous and sneaky charm to her at times
Has pranked others with Halona before
I'm sorry about random characters like Rosalie and halona being thrown in there I swear I just have way too many headcanons
Kind of like tangle the Lemur, Amy Rose, pinkie pie, TMF and other generally bubbly characters
Adventurous
As much as she doesn't hate anyone, if someone's very very obviously bullying her loved ones, she will stand up to them
Shes kind of insecure over people not taking her seriously at times even when they should
Hyperactive
Her MBTI type is ESFP !!
She has so many friendship bracelets with all of the flicker crew
Very creative
Loves all animals like I said earlier, even the "ugly" "scary" or generally undesirable ones. She wants to hug them all
Her love language is: all. All of them. She collected them like pokemon
On that note she would definitely like pokemon and collect plushies
Easily startled?
Very messy and rAnDoM (god I feel kinda cringe typing some of these. Bjt screw it screw cringe culture)
Cringefail /pos
Outgoing, playful, emotional
Anyway that's all for today. Sorry
5 notes · View notes
mariska · 9 months
Text
hi i would like to share a recent personal experience (with a surprisingly positive resolution) about challenging hate speech in online video games that have chat features as an extremely socially anxious autistic person + also some thoughts i've held for a very long time regarding the need for folks who are privileged enough to not be targets of constant harassment in video game social environments to use that privilege by speaking up when witnessing hate speech for those of us who can't safely do so
(this ended up being a super long post i'm sorry, i tried to split it into separated paragraphs to make it a bit more accessible to read but i needed to get this whole train of thought written outside of my brain before i unintentionally move on to some other point of focus and forget all of this)
i dont usually like posting about bad online video game interactions since thats a Bummer, but. i wanted to make a post to share a brief interaction i was a part of in the text chat of an online team game last night that actually had a positive resolution even just for the sake of being able to say that i've witnessed a bad video game interaction involving me as a target end up with a positive resolution. i'm gonna put the rest of this whole thing under a 'read more' so that it hopefully doesn't clog anyone's dash up with long-scrolling text wall:
i was playing 'versus' mode in Left 4 Dead 2 on my computer last night, which for anyone not familiar with that gamemode, is where one team of 4 people play as the human survivors and the other team of 4 people play as the game's 'Special Infected' zombies (Boomer, Hunter, Tank, etc. on a randomized respawn rotation). its very fun and chaotic but because of the chaotic rapid respawn nature of the zombie side and the fact that you don't usually play as the special infected zombies in the regular 'campaign', its not uncommon to be put in matches with ppl who have no patience for anyone who isnt super experienced or skilled or whatever as every special infected on the zombie team and people start arguments in the chat pretty often. im not a fan of ppl acting out like that but usually its just Annoying and i ignore it and carry on,
last night though, someone on the opposite team of mine (mine was currently the zombies; the game goes back and forth to let each team do their best at surviving the same levels on both sides; one team gets as far as they can as humans and then the other tries to match that score or do better if they can and so on) was getting increasingly frustrated that whenever their team was playing as the survivors they weren't quite making it as far towards the map end goals as my team was, because my team was doing slightly better at teaming up as the special infected zombies to get bigger scores and hold them away from their goal.
eventually he got so visibly upset in the text chat that he went "ok. r*tarded but ok', and then followed up quickly with something along the lines of "yall know you're a bunch of fkin r*tards right" (i censored it here, he did not originally) and that immediately crossed a boundary line for me because i'm autistic, and once was already too much, but twice in a row made me very uncomfortable. i didn't know or care if he was saying it to us (his enemy team), or his own team for having a slightly lower score as the survivors, but nobody else in the game had shown any text or voice chat signs of being unsafe people or angry people, so i felt safe enough to go in the text chat (i usually do not do this because i usually do not feel safe enough to do so in groups of strangers online)
i said something like "learn a new word to use, maybe?", just to kind of be like, 'hey, nobody else in this game is talking the way you are, don't be That Guy' you know? he said "why? its not like its a big deal", which was kinda sad to read 'cause it gave me the impression that this person probably spends a good amount of time (willingly or unwillingly) around people who commonly use slurs because its 'not a big deal'; again, nobody else in the match was getting involved verbally or textually, and we all continued to play the game while this happened, so i decided that i was going to stick up for myself since i don't often feel like i have the opportunity to do that in the text chat of games without feeling humiliated or thrown under the bus by my teammates or whatever.
while i was typing the guy added "i wasnt even saying it to you anyways" (does not matter to me, obviously). i finished the response i had been typing to his message about 'its not a big deal' and said "it is a big deal, actually!". by this point, his character had been eliminated entirely and his team had one or two human survivors running to their end goal map exit for the round, so he had more free time to type and he replied to me and said "whatever, you do you i guess". i said "well. i'm autistic, so." and meant to say 'i guess i will' in response to 'you do you', but the round ended after i sent that reply and the loading screen popped up for the survivor/zombie team switch
when it did, he wrote "fair 'nuff." in the chat like a minute or so into the very start of the round when both teams were getting set up and everything, and i was honestly fine with that as a general resolution to the whole thing, because the minute or so of time in between my last message and the non-aggressive bluntness of it made me feel like he probably felt at least a little guilty realizing that he was casually tossing around a slur that is very commonly used against autistic people to An Actual Autistic Person in the same game as him, and that worked for me.
the game went on as it regularly had been for like five or so more minutes, and then he suddenly sent another final and honestly unexpected message in the group chat that said, in no response to any other messages that had been typed by anyone since his last one, "alright i'm sorry i used that word in chat mariska" (my name/username). which was actually wild for me to see because i am very much not used to getting actual apologies from strangers who say bad stuff in game chats, and i genuinely appreciated that he either hadn't stopped thinking about it and felt bad about acting out, or maybe some of his own teammates had prompted him to apologize in their respective team chat or something; either way, i gave a genuine "thank you." in the chat to let him know the gesture was appreciated, and for the rest of the maybe 30 or so mins that the whole match lasted, there was no more aggressiveness or slurs or toxicity at all in the chat from either team's side. when the game ended all together, he was one of the first people to type "gg" (good game) in the chat, as did myself and almost all of the other folks in the match, and after that i stopped playing for the night.
sorry for the big long text post, but i wanted to share this somewhere other than just that isolated game match chat between 8 people, because i very often see a lot of people (on pretty much any social media but mostly on here tbh) make posts regarding this exact kind of video game or general online text chat community experience where the person writing the post encourages others who also commonly witness it, or are the target of slurs, harassment, threats etc, to speak up (if it is safe to do so, imo 'speaking up' or 'calling out' people you dont know especially in aggressive game communities should be the responsibility of allies/friends/non-targeted folks more often than those of us who are being harassed or threatened or talked down to ourselves since it is inherently more dangerous for us to defend ourselves unfortunately and it can take a very serious turn against us very fast, think 'swatting' or doxxing, as a few examples off the top of my head) against the language/slurs/bigotry/harassment that aggressive, angry, frustrated strangers commonly spew in text and/or voice game chats, and as someone who plays a lot of team based online games regularly and has played online games in general since the mid-2000's, i couldn't agree more with the people i've seen writing posts or game journalism articles encouraging people to refuse to allow that kind of behavior to be validated by others in an online match, or to only ignore it when there is a safe opportunity to make it known that at least one person refuses to tolerate whatever behavior the aggressor is displaying.
anyways, to make an accidentally way too long story short; more often than not, in online video game chat circles, it's unfortunately just not going to be super productive to call out casual hate speech & harassment because there are typically (in my personal experiences at least) more people in a group of strangers that either enjoy seeing targets of harassment get upset and will join in with the original aggressor to humiliate whoever speaks against it, or who behave the same way as the aggressor and validate their own patterns of hate speech as being acceptable and common by defending their behavior/siding with them in larger numbers.
but! in situations where you're watching that happen, to yourself or others, and everyone else is either silent or doesn't seem to agree/enjoy watching someone have a bigoted hissy fit in a video game chat, it absolutely can be worth it to be the person who makes it clear to that person that they are the problem. unless you personally know every individual person who is playing in the same match group as you, there is no 100% way to know exactly who all the other players are outside of their characters or personas they're represented by in-game. people who tend to be commonly perceived as pretty emotionally mature in general, in any part of online or offline life, can and do absolutely come across as temporary social role models/behavioral leaders to the other real human beings around them in the moment, regardless of whether that's intentional on their end or not.
i'm not quite sure if the term 'peer pressure' is exactly what i'm looking for as terminology right now since that term is typically applied in negative behavior patterns, but that concept is very real in any gathering of multiple people - it can (and again, in SAFE settings, should) be utilized in a positive, constructive way to prompt someone to think before they speak/type, and to make a point to everyone present in the moment that we are all allowed to openly bring attention to harassment and hate speech. that point is an especially important realization for people who may hold generally higher positions of privilege than those of us who speak against it, since they are the ones that really need to be doing this kind of thing more often and in larger majorities than those of us who are put in danger when we bring attention to hateful behavior simply by existing as oppressed people of any kind.
i guess the whole main train of thought i'm attempting to explain with all of this is, like. before that one person started typing out a slur two times in a row that has been used against me so many times in my life that my brain went into auto-pilot and refused to let him feel comfortable saying it again, nobody was typing anything like 'gg' or 'gr' (good round, when a game isn't totally finished yet) at all, which was fine that's not like a requirement, but when that next round ended after the guy apologized and i said thank you, everyone else started saying 'gr' until the match ended and there were a bunch of 'gg's instead, like i mentioned above.
in all honesty, if i hadn't been so exhausted last night from having a really difficult day earlier that involved a lot of unintentional trauma triggers, panic attacks and anti-anxiety medication, i probably would have just left the game or not said anything when that happened, because i am terrified of confrontation and i am very used to it resulting in bad outcomes for me so i try very hard to have self-control and not potentially feed into trolls online, but i had a really really bad day, and that was my late night comfort special interest activity, and it pissed me off that i couldn't avoid traumatic triggers even in that short distraction before attempting to get some sleep. i was acting totally on emotionally charged impulse which is something that i try so hard not to do with strangers in video games of all places.
but i mention that specifically because it still made a difference in that one match, and because of that we were all able to have fun playing a video game the way it was meant to be played for friendly competitive enjoyment. i will probably never interact or maybe even just run into any of those people in a game lobby again, so obviously there's no way for me to know if the person who typed the slur messages will just continue to do that in other games anyways or if getting called-out on hateful behavior had any kind of impact on how he might think a few seconds longer before saying something like that to strangers online again in the future, but like. i don't know. that's kind of the point, i think? he seemed at the very least pretty embarrassed that nobody wanted to defend him or feed into the whole 'its not a big deal' thing, to the point that he actually apologized appropriately to me directly in a social setting where 6 other people saw it, so maybe that was a feeling of temporary guilt or shame or just being humbled a bit that he needed to experience to learn something from.
some people really are just not worth the mental or emotional effort to respond to because they are so set and fixed in their ways, and they're a stranger, and it's not our responsibility to fix that, especially in video games, that's why i usually. Dont Bother. but also sometimes people are so self-centered or uncaring or maybe even projecting self-hatred of how they think of themselves onto strangers because they don't view those strangers as fully realized human beings that continue living their lives after exiting out of a video game, who knows, i don't and i really don't care to, but i truly think there are a large amount of people in this kind of situation that just repeat whatever they've learned and heard around them for however long, and think of it as 'no big deal', and they suddenly feel very embarrassed and ashamed and small when one of the usernames they view as just a username on a screen talks back and they are faced with the realization that they said something awful to a real person, not an npc, not a left 4 dead 2 zombie character, and the other 6 real people there say nothing to defend them, because what they said sucked, and we're all trying to have fun playing a silly game, and they deserved to be embarrassed about it.
i think that's maybe my Big Concluding Thought on this whole thing. not necessarily 'everyone join me in Bringing Peace And Harmony To Left 4 Dead 2 Online Text Chat', but like...your words mean things to people you don't know when you say things to them in a place like a video game chat, and the largest majority of people playing most games just wanna play the game, so like. maybe think for a second or two before you just say stuff that sucks. especially if it sucks because it is literal hate speech? but also in general when it just sucks because its just a mean unwanted and unhelpful comment. and maybe ask yourself, if you're someone who jokes about wishing you werent 'so toxic when i play but i cant help it' or if you say things just to say things because 'its no big deal', why? why are you like that? you literally do not have to be. you don't know the lives and experiences of the people you're spending a very small amount of time with together in a game online and when you do this kind of stuff, when you're mean and 'toxic' and you call people slurs when they don't get as many high little numbers next to your digital team's fake video game scoreboard as you want them to get, the only impression or memory they will ever have of you is that they don't like you and you made a lighthearted experience suck for 7 people. that is all you get to be to that person forever.
idk, maybe other people don't think that's sad and maybe it doesn't bother them, but if that was the most common impression i left on a bunch of different groups of strangers that i wont get to interact with again afterwards i would feel pretty sad and ashamed about it.
anyways. i need to partake in tasks that do not involve rambling on my phone now but if you read this that is cool thank you, if you didnt that is fine i understand this became a ridiculously long post out of nowhere i do not blame u, and. i hope you have a good day. ok goodbye
3 notes · View notes
Note
man by the nature of the circles i follow i generally don't see a lot of takes from izzy stans, but both the notes of the post you reblogged and the original twitter thread just make them look like their izzy brainworms have destroyed their reading comprehension and situational awareness. 'hehe there's two ways u could take that' clearly only one was intended. 'ur so right izzy is fucking blackbeard and he can build a pillowfort' YOU'RE SO EMBARRASSING. the show's creator is annoyed enough to actually voice some push back against the racist idea that history's greatest tactician needs this wet purse dog of a man to do basic tasks. these people really said 'i'm gonna ignore the actual issue being pointed out here and make this about my blorbo and my ship instead' and i don't know how anyone like this is gonna get through season two when they find out izzy isn't the main character they think he is.
ok tbh as amused as i am at the interpretation of that tweet as david jenkins getting so annoyed abt people thinking ed is an incompetent imbecile and is tweeting “ed knows how to build a blanket for on his own for fuck’s sake” i dont actually know how much of The Discourse david’s seen or if he’s aware of how many ppl genuinely believe shit like “izzy is the brains behind blackbeard.” it’s possible he just logged onto twitter and saw that tweet at the top of his mentions or whatever (idk how twitter works) and was just casually like “wtf obviously ed can build a fort by himself” and it’s not meant as an @ at any particular fans. and quite frankly i wouldnt want it to BE an @ at any fans. as toxic as parts of this fandom are, if david or any other showrunners started directly @ing people like “hey your headcanon is racist” it would only make shit worse. if i was a writer for ofmd i frankly wouldve stopped looking at ofmd twitter after a month bc it got so choked with rampant racism and it would make me go insane. like i hope jenkins et al have some distance from the fandom discourse for their own sake.
BUT ANYWAY about the izzy fans. as much as i personally am an ed stan first and a human being second i DO understand why izzy fans would make the joke abt “oh so youre saying izzy is having sex with blackbeard AND he knows how to build a blanket fort?” and i also think the majority of izzy fans KNOW theyre making a silly joke. like they know what david is actually saying. as far as im aware Not All Izzy Fans are the type to believe the “izzy is the brains behind blackbeard” headcanon so im not gonna assume every fan making this joke are doing so to intentionally downplay/ignore ed’s intelligence. i think a lot of them are just making a joke abt their favorite blorbo and while yeah i think the main focus should be on MY blorbo and how smart he is, this joke is so low on the list of shitty things ive seen izzy fans do that im basically just like. eh. whatever. definitely SOME of the ppl making this joke are the type to think ed is stupid and who warp the whole show to focus on izzy but i have no idea who or many so im not gonna worry about it. the joke is kinda annoying to me but im ALSO kind of stretching the tweet jokingly to be like “David Jenkins HIMSELF said that izzy is a useless first mate” (which i DO believe, but im not gonna use this tweet as proof that dj himself confirmed it)
that being said i dont think it’s a funny joke bc izzy obviously has never gotten laid before in his life and also izzy’s never experienced any joy so he obviously DOESNT know how to build a fort. and also of course youre right that there are izzy fans who will not be able to cope with the next season of the show not treating izzy like a special little main character but again this tweet is a single line from david abt a silly headcanon im not gonna get mad at ppl for not using it as a talking point abt racist fandom discourse. idk if david meant that line to be lighthearted or not so im not gonna take it too seriously except to say that ed’s blanket fort had better structural engineering than half the boats he’s ever raided. if the Revenge came under attack or if a huge storm blew through, stede’s cabin would be a disaster but the blanket fort would be completely unharmed
9 notes · View notes
a-tale-of-legends · 2 years
Note
Aahh omg hi it's been a minute 😅😅 School life, am I& right-?
ok, I'm& gonna use this as an opportunity to ramble now hehe >:)
So is it just me who thinks Leon being implied to be treated like a literal celebrity is kinda a missed opportunity because they didn't make it a whole plot point :0?? I& mean, i& think it would've been a p interesting and unique (for Pokémon anyway) idea, no?
Idk if it's just me& who would've found it interesting for there to be Celebrity Struggles™, but?? :O
By celebrity struggles, I& mean things like what if Leon was unable to go into public without being swarmed at best and in danger at worst, or never being able to find friends who couldn't look past his champion status, or Hop and his family having to live in solitude to avoid being stalked, or even Hop being bullied out of jealousy from other kids, etc etc
(OOH, search Kisagari Attention on YouTube if you have time and you'll see what I& mean :00 The song is lowkey a bop)
So, taking a more realistic view at Leon and his life actually makes him significantly more interesting imo?? :00 Ik Pokemon is a kid's franchise and all, but HEESH,, IT'S MORE INTERESTING WHEN DARKER XDD
I& mean, Im& like 99% sure in Twilight Wings, there's a scene where the protagonist literally says "the champion isn't really smiling, is he?" while watching Leon get interviewed so liKE AM I REALLY THAT FAR OFF-- ASDFGHJKLKKF
Well, to be fair, the games are the most well-known and kid-friendly adaptation of Pokémon so they probably couldn't exactly include questionable dialogue like in that example but 😭😭 YK, it's fun to imagine
Anyway, the end of the ramble :DD
Oh yeah definitely!
Leon's struggles as a champion is definitely something that would have been interesting to dive into. We got crumbs from the game and some animated stuff. Not for Leon, but got the other gym leaders too. Raihan would talk about how people can leave harsh comments about his battles, due to his social media presence. In twilight wings there was a segment with the gym leaders being interviewed, clearly at a time where it should be for themselves ( Gordie eating, Nessa just going for a walk, Piers literally telling the camera man to fuck off lol). Galar is the first instance where the gym leaders and champion are treated as celebrities. Eyes are always on them. For Leon in particular, it's shown ( through crumbs) that he isn't exactly Mr. Smiles For Miles like he presents himself to be for the public.
And it's not like pokemon can't go into dark topics. Alola is known for having the subtext ( or text really) of abuse between the Aether siblings and Lusamine. In gen 5, Ghetsis exists, as well as his cult turned terrorist group in Team Plasma. Though, those examples are more for the antagonists of the story. Going into celebrity culture in swsh doesn't just apply to the villains here haha. So yes, I would argue that there's a lot more that could have been brought to light like you& said. It's especially hard when the focus isn't fully on that aspect. Hop would have been a great vehicle for that, but at the same time he idolizes his brother. It would be easy for him to simply not look at the reality of some things because his brother is all he knows.
That, plus the fact if we really want to go deeper into the celebrity culture/ struggle angle,then the game itself would have had to present itself differently. Something has to happen for characters like Leon show up and maybe imply more about what they are feeling and such.
I don't want this to get long, so I'll just end off by saying that with so many ideas that can come from swsh, especially with the characters, it's no wonder there's rewrites or heavy character analysis on them. Especially Leon. Poor guy needs a break.
13 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
Text
...
#ok so like this is fine bc im not in a horrible mood rn. this is more i feel like complaining bc what im doing is kinda ridiculous#but my memory is so bad that ill probably forget if i dont write it out. but basically 4 days a week i have to come in starting at 7.30 to#water and prep for measurements. then from 9am to 6.15pm i have to nonstop take the measurements. and theyre timed so that means#i get abt 4 min to do anything before i have to take another measurement. which is abt enough time to start to focus and then have to stop#which is very fucking frustrating. and i have to manage data. coordinate for this fucking paper. and keep track of like 10 other things for#work stuff. which means that it takes me like and hour to send easy emails and they come out all fucked uo bc my brain is so shot#but on top of that i also have to fucking do the steps to get set up for my new school in the fall. and like ive officially accepted the#offer but havent talked to my new advisor since then so now theres this weird gap where im like. uh fuck do i ask for wtf im supposed to#do? bc ive been able to do things for like 2 or 3 weeks but then my life started collapsing in around me. and like there r probably#instructions somewhere but i cant fucking read lol. whatever. hes nice i just need to find the energy and words to email him and b like lol#srry everythings been insane. but bc ive waited so long i have to compulsively keep going back to check that ive been accepted like somehow#that would change while im not looking. ugh. and ive also fucked myself over housing wise bc theres a housing shortage in the city and huge#demand of housing on camus so theres a wait list for everything but i cant fucking apply bc i cant get my id to work. and fucking idk who#to call or email abt that. but idk i might have to have roomates for a semester. or my parents offered to give me some extra money for an#apartment until i can get one that doesnt put me in the red on a grad student budget. ugh. i dont wanna do either of those things#but christ do i not want roommates. ill figure something out. its just annoying and difficult from so far away#and it makes me kinda sad bc ppl r like: r u excited?! and im like. i cant really think abt that. partly bc im constanly putting out fires#in the present so theres not really space for it. partly bc i dont allow myself to b excited abt things so as not to get my hopes up.#but just after i accepted i was excited. and now it feels like im reaching my hand out toward a floating light just out of reach. like#its a nice idea but i wont believe until it happens. but that just bc ive become distorted about things#and i dont even get a weekend bc the 4 days of measurement r friday to Monday and i cant fucking relax on weekdays bc ppl r like hey can u#do this??? and there r things i can only do on weekdays so its like ok i guess ill just suffer forever thrn. and my boss texts me like: hey#did u do X? and am like: uuuuuh i fucking dont kno what day it is anymore. i dont understand y we have to meet. lets just not talk bc im#afraid ill say something worrying. so yea its pretty fucked up rn. but this stuff ends on the 24th#then ill probably not take a break and fucking finish the measurements for another project bc i just really need it to b done. i need it#all to b done so i can fucking wash my hands of this and fucking quit and move away at the start of july... or August if i decide i hate#myself that much. ugh. at least the lab has been pretty empty so no ones seen me crying lol#also thr fucking rutgers guy emailed me yesterday like: hey u want this position? and im like bitch u r like a month too late also im in#my cringe fail era. i would not survive at ur school. ugh everything is terrible. 2 or 3 more months then i csn leave this place forever#unrelated
5 notes · View notes
Text
Ok so, Orthworm titan has been defeated! I think, just as a little check in. Im going to talk about my opinions on the different characters. Because i'm sure some of them will change down the line and i'd like to be able to come back to this and see what i thought of them!
Warning for about mid game ish?? spoilers? Maybe? Im just talking about characters personalities so warning for that
Nemona- She's pretty fun. I like her energy a lot! But she isn't a favorite or anything. I feel like i haven't seen enough of her personality.
Arven- I adore him. At first he annoyed me, and then i was suspicious of him because of how he talked during the first titan about a "he". But when it was revealed he was trying to help the goodest of boys i actually teared up. If i hadn't been in a room with someone else i probably would have started crying. I absolutely adore Arven's personality. His path is probably my favorite because it feels like it has the most fun story. And you get to interect with miraidon more.
Penny- I don't have a ton to say about her. Mildly suspicious of her just because i don't know much, but i'm trying to see her in a neutral light so it doesn't cloud my judgement. I like her design a lot. BUT WHY DOES SHE NOT HAVE TO WEAR THE UNIFORM?? I wanna come to school in whatever i want >:(
Brassius- I was expecting moody and gloomy, but he's actually pretty cool. I like how much he cares about art. He also got a bunch of bonus points for shocking me with that windmill jump. I like the joke of his ace pokemon and over all he's a fun character. His design is REALLy cool and it's fun to see something that isn't just your basic flowery bright green grass gym leader. (not that i have anything against that, i love all the grass gyms)
Kofu- I couldn't pinpoint why but i did NOT like him at first. I tried so hard to work past it because i couldn't figure out why i didn't like him. But after the market and his battle i came to like him a lot. He's not my favorite by any means but he's a fun character.
Iono- I was already a fan when she was introduced. I love her design and her personality is hilarious. She's my favorite gym leader as of right now. Maybe even my favorite character in the game.
Clavell- Kinda spooky, kinda fun. He seems a bit annoying at times but that might be my distaste for authority. I keep flip flopping on whether i like him or not. I don't dislike his personality so far but he feels like he's hiding smth. Idk. I always am suspicious of characters i don't know enough about lol. Especially cuz i'm not sure if gamefreak is pulling a twist villain again or not.
Jaqc- He's fun :) I like him a lot. Doesn't stand out a ton but he's a cool character
Turo- hmmm he hasn't really done anything that interesting so far... kinda dislike him just because he isn't Sada lol. I liked her design more than his. But i got violet for Miraidon. Again, im wary of characters i don't know enough about....
At this point im too lazy to keep looking up their names and i have a horrible memory (just took all the midterms and the one singular question i got wrong was the language teachers name). So uh... classes only no names.
Math teach- In the first 5 seconds of meeting her i wanted to dislike her so bad. I HATED math as a kid and i still hate math. The only class i did well in was geometry and that's because it felt more like fun puzzles to me. But basic math? I can't do it. No matter how well i know a formula or how much i try and focus i always mess up something small that then ruins everything else. Every step could be correct but ill have gotten confused about how much of something there was cuz i misread the problem and all of a sudden its all messed up. I can somehow get 11 from 5 + 3. I never learned long division. I hate math with a burning passion. So i was ready to suffer at even math in a basic kids game. But she was so sweet. And the problems WERENT HARD. I was so scared it was gonna be basic addition or subtraction or smth and i would suffer. But i realized it was all math i had already been doing in the game already. Calculating damage based on weakness, or figuring out how many of different items i could buy. I wish i had a math teach at some point who had worked with me to make it interesting. And she's so sweet. I literally adore her so much
Art teach- This guy has not made an impact on me at all. He is like a paper lunch bag of a character next to a bunch of cool lunchboxes with fancy patterns. Not bad, gets the job done. But so much less cool. I always loved art tho so i guess he gets extra points for that.
Language teach- he speaks french i rest my case. The only worse thing he could do is be british. Cuz at least the french did wonderful things for cooking. But fr if there wasn't spanish sprinkled in i would be missing every question. At first i kinda disliked him but im kinda nuetral now. (im kidding about the french n british thing for the record. i just jokingly hate british ppl and i dislike french as a language cuz i find it just as stupid if not more stupid than english)
Home ec teach- I Adore him. He's great. I love cooking so much so of course when i saw a home ec class i was in love. I loved the idea of my in game character also being good at cooking(why yes, i am easily amused). At first i was kinda intimidated by him but i liked him still. After te interaction with him in the cafeteria w the pbj i was enamored w his character. he is my little meow meow i think hes so entertaining. I love him
Fighting? Uh battle smth?? teach- hasnt rlly stood out to me in any way. however the interactions w her being bad at cooking were funny and felt like they gave her more character, which made me like her more. I think shes pretty cool but def is overshadowed by other ppl.
History- Cannot figure out why but she kinda annoys me. maybe its the clothes lmao. But idk im trying to work past it cuz i cant figure out if i have a good reason or not yet. So basically nuetral leaning towards negative on her.
Nurse miriam? is that her name- couldnt tell you why but i like her. she just seems fun to hang out with. i like her a lot :)))
As a final note, i really like the little interactions w the diff characters throughout the school and maybe im just a nerd but i actually like going to the classes..... Its fun and i like seeing the characters personalities. (plus answering even the easiest of questions correctly make the happy chemicals go brrrr) Ive always love extra lil stuff that lets you interact w characters in any game, its so much fun.
4 notes · View notes
knightartorius · 2 years
Text
wwdits 4x1 countdown!
the long post where i document every day until wwdits returns on july 12! all 60 days of misery, pain, hardship, love, joy, and innocence all in one place. why did i do this you ask? ………………..
60:
WWDITS ANNOUNCED NANDERMO REAL WE WON YES. YES. JULY 12 SAVE THE DATE. YES. YES. YES wwdits is upon us soon. i feel nothing but joy. WWDITS WWDITS YEAHHH
59:
The excruciatingly long wait until July 12 has hit. It’s starting to look dim. I am unsure if I will even live to see it.
58:
i started this on day 59 because i needed a way to get the absolute amount of soot off my heart from the 60 day wait and it is STILL day 59 as im writing this and i just cant wait til day 58 to say that im fucking dying. i cant. and theres going to be another wait for ofmd eventually and oh my goddd. im such an impatient person and i cant. its currently day 58 and i am watching flight of the conchords to cope
57:
i have decided to watch one critical role episode every day which will occupy about 25 days worth of my time. this may vary with school and summer break but i need a distraction. i am rewatching ofmd for the first time in a little while. this is terrible… i have school today as well which is stunting my coping abilities. not good. havent once been able to focus on anything because my head is just critrole ofmd wwdits on repeat i am dying… my critrole pacing is also already so off, im on like episode 4 and i shouldve only finished 2 or something like that. but i cant help but have the cliffhangers resolved
56:
day 56 has begun, and im starting to realize how fucking long this post is gonna be. and how long the wait really is.. obviously when you think of 60 days as 2 months it feels like not all that long, but when you break it down into days, and hours of days, thinking each time you update this post and whatnot, it makes it feel much longer. in better news, only 3 more days of school left!
55:
this being the last week of school might be slowing down time. it feels like the longest week on the fucking planet… after days 57-53 this should be smooth sailing. anyway speaking of school nobody is taking this shit seriously anymore, nobody is here and ive just been playing minecraft in class
54:
unsure if im now behind on critrole because i had to spend hours working on a “group” project from complete scratch due at *checks watch* 11:59 because my partner ghosted me… i also have another project due at *checks watch* 11:59 today and i wont be getting home to work on it until 8. this is pretty great idk. why did all this stuff fall on the last week of school im more stressed than ive ever been on a “chill week.” maybe if wwdits was back itd be better
53:
IVE BEEN SO BUSY ALL DAY RHAT I TOTALLY FORGOT TO UPDATE HII.. SCHOOL ENDED TODAY!! i finished me projects and all…very proud of myself for getting through this week kinda ok? forgot to add yesterday that in class we wrote letters to ourselves as graduates in english and i mentioned both ofmd and wwdits… more than once like they were plot points..loved writing it too. but yes summer is officially upon me!!!!!!! yeah baby
52:
first day of summer has sucked. woke up far too early (who wakes up at 7 in the summertime like the sun hadnt even risen) and now im sick..life is pain quote the nun
51:
so i absolutely underestimated how sick i was gonna get towards the end of the day, to the point where i only have a very hazy memory of the entire evening.. but its 1 am and i woke up from a nap i presume and i feel a lot better now. definitely a few days behind on critical role too, havent had any time to watch in between being sick as FUCK and school. we are almost through the first ten days of the wwdits wajt though!!!! im so excited im also getting a new phone today, ive had the same one for 4/5 years now and shes starting to be a little shit so. GOT THE NEW PHONE! (iphone 13) it is so smooth and the camera BUMPIN… it fits in me hand nice too. lord how i needed this baby. i also watched 25 minutes of morbius too, and its..absolutely unwatchable so i turned it off. i cant even watch it as a joke
50:
TEN DAYS DOWN!!!!!!!!!! the impossible task is starting to look…possible! in fifty days ill have the pleasure of saying…nandermo is real. but for now, all i can say is nandermo will be real in 50 days. im also starting to feel a little better? my throat is still killing me though. the one issue i have with this phone is that “autistics for otori emu” use to fit perfectly in one line of text but now its like
AUTISTICS FOR OTORI
EMU
and its kinda ugly. ill never change it though
49:
LOVE AND THUNDER JULY 8…july is gonna be a big month for taika god damn anyway I CANT WAIT!!!!! i wanna see this movie so bad….AHH.. also lowkey been inactive at the moment. not sure why
48:
watched the lighthouse last night, it was lowkey gay porn but i loved it. certified really good movie. anyway, im in a movie watching era of this countdown. except i watch like 1 movie a day every night. tonights is everything everywhere all at once! im very excited i hope i cry. didnt cry but still really enjoyed the movie! i wish they took a more “you dont have to forgive your parents” approach, cause they kinda just ignored the fact that evelynn was the one who broke joy, and her breaking joy fractured her in every universe… and like yeah joy was able to heal and forgive but she shouldnt have to forgive her mother just because she saved her. a lot of people with trauma have it in our brains (especially those of us with parental trauma) that we have to forgive our abusers and media rarely ever empowers those of us who are unable to simply forgive and forget, and this movie had the perfect opportunity to do that, but in a sense im glad they didnt also
47:
its morbin time. not really anything to say today, but its been cloudy for the past week and im wondering when im gonna get to see the sun again. the countdown is smooth sailing otherwise! OH WAIT ive been playing life is strange true colors and its been..fun?? idk ive also been playing the sims for fun again too which .. it has been ages since… i have a “legacy” going kinda but the first gens story is pretty fucked up so im just having fun with mods really
46:
kissed ryan and its the only choice ive been 100% confident about in this game. i love ryan. hes my one true love. they dont make men like this in the real. im also gonna retry watching morbius im obsessed with this movie + my bff is graduating today im so happy for him
OKAY MAYDAY THE WWDITS EPISODE TITLES JUST RELEASED AND. WE ARE 95 DAYS AWAY FROMA “The Wedding” it could be nandermo. it could and im scared (KITE FROM THE FUTURE: its not nandermo nandor is marrying a woman??)
45:
these past 5 days have been going so fast im scared. too fast almost. in like 30 minutes were gonna have wwdits 4 like it was nothing. also rewatching morbius second night in a row because my friend wants to watch it with me. hes morbing out oh my god oh shit. okay we ended up not watching morbius but i watched wwdits (2005) and 1) taika hot 2) the montage of people calling them fags is so..timely idk. but for everyone who always says “ah nz is so progressive” and acts like conservatism doesnt exist there and idolizes the countrys politics… reality check please. 3) taika hot like all the letterboxd review are about his hair and shit and yea i agree completely. but i made a post to my instagram story and tldr it was about how the wwdits franchise kinda encapsulates the changes in perception of queerness throughout the 21st century and honestly its one of the most interesting aspects to me while consuming all wwdits content
44:
hunt for the wilderpeople is a movie that i watched that broke me a bit. i didnt cry or anything of the sort but god i loved ever second of it. how will i live. anyway i think im officially over the ofmd grief but rather im shocked that the show still hasnt been renewed..not in like an awww boo hoo but like..what the fuck is hbo doing (KITE 3 DAYS IN THE FUTURE HERE: THIS IS SO FUNNY. THEY WERE WAITING UNTIL PRIDE MONTH)
43:
watching both top gun movies, was inspired by flight of the conchords. will be back. ok i only watched the og top gun but i did thoroughly enjoy it, and damn that movie is beautiful if nothing else + american psycho. and american psycho i loved a lot. also if youre wondering why im watching so many movies its a summer goal of mine to watch a lot of movies because i notoriously dont like movies as an artistic means and have watched like barely any movies proportionate to my lifespan and im trying to change that. i still dont like movies really but…oh well im glad im using this to watch some good films. my letterboxd is kite4444_1 if you were interested in seeing my ratings (they are wonky…and 3 means i liked/enjoyed it btw)
theres also a meteor shower tonight (allegedly) so im sitting outside at 1 am viewing the sky, ive seen 1 so far so dub! rare once in a lifetime experience in the wwdits countdown
42:
i really dont know how to break the meteor shower stuff up but its 1:30 am so its officially day 42. i saw 4 big meteors, a lot of little guys, and 1 orange fella so i consider this a big win.. i also just enjoyed sitting outside and watching the sky, i should do that more often honestly. literally did nothing today! W
41:
its pride month! happy pride month. also one month closer til wwdits..dub OH MY FUCJING GOD I JUST GOT THE NEWS. YES. YES. YES. YES OH MY GOD YES YES YES YES YES IM LITERALLY CRYING IM BESIDE MYSELF WITH JOY AND EVTASY I CANT oh my god i cant wait until i have an ofmd countdown god is so fucking real best day of my life nobody understands my joy rn GOD im crying so hard incant i cant i cant i just cried so hard IM CRYING AGAIN it’s definitely been like an hour or something but i cant think. i cant feel. hello #BestDayEver
season 2 requests:
1) bearded stede. dgaf if rhys says he cant grow a beard hes lying
2) jim and jackie romantic interactions… i read the vico interview and when they said maybe jim will find someone else during their separation to olu…my mind went bonkers
3) mary gets many gfs and they are poly and in love. doug is also in the polycule
4) izzy, jim, lucius, ivan, frenchie, fang need to be BESTIES. BFFs4L. and izzy and lucius you already know i want them together idc
KITE VS RAINBOW CAPITALISM: RAINBOW CAPITALISM WON
40:
ANOTHER TEN DAYS DOWN!!!!!!! YEAHHHH soon there will be no time left.. what the hell! pride month really is off to a great start and im ecstatic.. still not over the sheer high of ofmd 2 announcement but it also makes me fear season 2s existence. BUT GOD I CANT WAIT UNTIL I HAVE ANOTHER COUNTDOWN entiled “Ofmd 2 countdown” its going to be glorious and im going to be fucking FERAL. FERALLL!!!!
39:
watching muppets treasure island and ofmd season 2 looks CRAZY… anyway im watching this because apparently black sails has prior reading and i was not watching some old movie or the novel so muppets treasure island it is. i also need to stop writing these entries early in the morning (it is 1:45 am) because it throws my rhythm off..in better news though its all been good, im going to the beach tomorrow oh fuck it just hit me im going to the beach at peak ofmd fixation..its going to be all i think about NEVERMIND ITS ONLY FRIDAY I THOUGHT IT WAS SATURDAY? not going to the beach tomorrow cause we leave sunday im an idiot
38:
god i cant wait to go to the beach i need it. no pirate bullshit but i need to be one with the sea its been over a year since ive been there gah…my mom keeps being weird about it but you will not ruin my fun beach adventures!! i will walk for miles in one direction listening to music or something or talking to myself without a care in the world because i am one with the oceanside. i will cry for no reason walking my dog and thinking wow. this is what stede wouldve wanted. i cant wait to spend the next 4 days pacing with the sand between my toes as i ponder season 2 and what explorations of heartbreak means for each character. i will cry
also im on episode 3 of black sails and this shit is DRAMA??? like ofmg i was not ready also what is the ofmd/muppets treasure island/black sails pipeline because ive seen multiple fans with muppets treasure island profile pictures and how did i manage to fall down the same fucking hole
37:
BEACH DAYY!!!!!!! i cannot wait til we get there holy fuck [ x ] <- pics here! i also went and updated the layout of this post so ideally its easier to look at i REALLY need to stop writing these at 1/2 am because whyd i wake up and learn we aren’t even going until wednesday and my mom isnt even sure we can get reservations..if i dont go to the beach ill die like actually ill perish
WAIIITTTT WWDITS TEASER DROPPED [ x ] oh my god?????? this is the most unhinged the show has ever been and i cant wait
36:
nobody told me black sails was gay…like super gay this is insane. everyone is bisexual and they were so real for that. anyway im very much enjoying watching because the drama is real
also wwdits poster..wow 2 days in a row theyve been giving us content also renewed for seasons 5 & 6?!?!? idk why i had it in my head that season 4 was going to be the end but YES wwdits is goijg with me to college W…also on that note its crazy to me that ofmd and the like arent going to be finished until im in college…wow…im getting old
35:
we are almost halfway through the wait! god damn the past 25 days have felt almost nonexistent but regardless… beach tmw!!!!! for real this time. and as i said i will be at peace. i always thought if they were real id be a mermaid. and ill probably reincarnate as a lobster or something of the like.. i am one with the sea
also ever since that article about taika being a failure or sellout or whatever (i didnt read the article) made the typo calling jemaine “jermaine” i have carried the torch. he is now jermaine clement to me
34:
beach day beach day beach day… i cant wait for this “getting-to-beach” arc to end because this has went on for far too long… anyway, im gonna finish black sails either today or tomorrow and wow! what an adventure. the worlds longest origin story. i have enjoyed every minute of it!
33:
i finished black sails! also here are those beach pictures i promised [ x ]. other than that this trip has so far been pretty uneventful (not saying it will ever be eventful) but i am enjoying the sea view
also rumor has it ofmd season 2 should be airing around june/july of next year which is so insanely far but also very close. its also going to be insane comfort for me after i graduate i can tell +£~£
32:
going on a bender of listening to old 90s alternative rock songs i havent heard since i was like 10. and i still know 97% of the lyrics to all of these songs… my music taste has come a long way really. hot take though i dont understand why people bend over backwards to defend bjorks racism because her music is not even that good?? what is the appeal here. let her go
31:
havent had much to say recently but today is my last day at the beach… but now we are for real for real close to reaching that halfway point… i am quite geeked if i do say so myself
30:
WE ARE OFFICIALLY HALFWAY THROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAHHHYHHHHHH BABY its been a long ass thirty days but im sure that its going to go by fast now? also because we seem to be getting a lot of random content (not just for wwdits but yk).. im quite ecstatic. i cant wait for my silly little tv show
later tonight i have a music listening event with my friend and i have to choose 5 albums for us to listen to and so far i have and otherwise i have zero idea
jyocho - the beautiful cycle of terminal
イツエ (itsue) - いくつもの絵 / many pictures
ABBA - voulez-vous
never mind apparently! it was supposed to start about 2 hours ago and im like 80% sure im getting stood up! oh well. i say oh well because im a bit used to it but also im fairly upset because i was really looking forward to thissss ahhhh
29:
getting stood up aside i think im sick AGAIN???? i think ive been sick like 50 times this entire countdown but also i have like 5 chronic illnesses and so it could be one of them. besides i feel bad but not too bad so ill live
i woke up with a super weird tender rash on the palm of my hand and???? what the hell. god is spiting me now that the countdown is on the downward path
28:
nah not sick but i was not feeling hot yesterday. im very excited though because my broccoli plants are looking very healthy after the trip (i was a bit worried theyd fucking die) but they are taking to the environment quite nicely. on the contrary i planted SIX cucumber plants and they are taking over my entire garden like a goddamn parasite. i dont even need tgat many cucumbers why did i plant six oh my god. also my onions should be harvestable soon… if youre wondering what all plants im growing: cucumbers broccoli red pepper onion spinach & carrots. very nature over here
also i am plugging flight of the conchords as one of my albums..! pay me jemaine
27:
DIDNT UPDATE AT ALL TODAY??? but omg my cucumbers were ready for harvest and theyre HUGE. i also started a worm bin today and i had to collect 2 worms on my own i hope they enjoy having sex and shitting for me but yeah. this is a beautiful thing. overall a great day i very much enjoy getting gritty in the garden
also fun sketchful.io night with my friend and now we have official plans to meet irl come january!!!!!! fat fucking double you
26:
do tumblr posts have a word limit…i feel like i mentioned this before but it comes more of a growing concern every single day. otherwise its a good day except me waking up to my dog having a seizure because i overslept my alarm for giving him his meds. in case you were wondering hes completely fine just a normal hiccup
also bios dont have a word limit either do they.. also layout change! i changed the color yesterday but today i moved the rant bio to be under the cut because i just cant part with it
25:
watched thor ragnarok so im officially up to date for love and thunder. i love korg no im not biased but also everyone who was like thor and bruce have serious couple energy are so right its such a shame he wont be in love and thunder. the “rom com” aspect with jane peter and bruce would be so hectic but also so good?!!? havent been hyped for a marvel movie since endgame im so excited
introducing a new conflict: me trying to watch fotc live in london without paying for hbo max. this has been an uphill battle and i signed up for the apple one free trial which gives me free apple tv and they said they had live in london on there BUT NO IT REDIRECTS YOU TO HULU AND HBOMAX. now you may be thinking “just sign up for hulu free trial” BUT HULU DOESNT HAVE IT EITHER WITHOUT YOU PAYING FOR THE HBO ADDON!!!! also i tried literally every pirating website i know and nothing. i feel like im fighting a goddamn war just to watch live in london idk
ok update: its currently 2:55 am and i found it on the pirate bay but obviously thats a torrenting thingy so tomorrow evening im going to relearn how to torrent so i can watch it. also last time i downloaded utorrent it absolutely wrecked my computer, managed to uninstall it but its still fucked up but oh well! anything for fotc
adding onto an already incredibly hectic log, i ended up not downloading it today because i didnt feel like getting out my laptop charger. it was one of those incredibly lazy days. but man if theres one thing this post is gonna do, its gonna make me realize how much of my summer i am spending RELAXING. its well deserved and this is my last high school summer so i should definitely waste the most i can because ill never get this again, but like.. come august the regret is gonna be reallllll….
24:
another day of completely forgetting to update this! im getting back into terraria and that has kept me mostly entertained all day. im so bad at it but i used to be cracked (kinda. i never got to hardmode cause flesh but)
to add, i have a 4 day streak going of eating toast late at night. the first 2 days it was tuna on this asiago cheese loaf and these past 2 days have been cinnamon butter on sourdough. very real
23:
days are flying by! wow. but my sleep schedule is so off it’s ridiculous. but today was even less eventful than yesterday, except i think im finally in my terraria groove and i even beat the eye of cthulhu + i wanna fight skeletron but like, i have no idea where his temple is and ive went so far in both directions
22:
i have whipped cthulhu’s ass thrice. he doesn’t even stand a chance! but i did attempt skeletron and got whooped so hard it’s ridiculous?? did they buff him since i last played like 5 years ago. also attempted the eater of worlds twice for some scales so i can make demonite equipment and CHRIST i keep having like sensory overload. also sorry for making three consecutive short posts where i exclusively talk about terraria but that is all im doing so we! will! have! to! deal!
also sometimes its so hard to tell if i wrote already. like i have no recollection of writing today but i think i did??? did i????
21:
21 days? THREE WEEKS?? three weeks ???? three weeks!!! i really am so excited. also i might be going to see lightyear soon with some of my friends who i haven’t seen in like 3/4 years! definitely not the most hype movie we couldve went to see but idc chris evans keke palmer and taika are all in there and thats all i care about. mm
I DREAMT ABOUT S2E1 of ofmd that they like released episode 1 early and it was so funny. i don’t remember much about it but stede and ed werent in the episode at all (but blackbeard was in the last like 15 minutes of an hour long episode, but i didnt even watch that part because of dream logic) and i don’t remember much at all but someone was in a white void with john silver. a completely different show. and they had to complete some kind of bullshit puzzle it was great the rest of the dream was mostly on the deserted island with the rest of the revenge and jim was there too but hell i dont know it was such a mess
also i never mentioned it but i watched guns akimbo like 2 days ago and jesus christ i haven’t recovered. the pacing never slows down and its balls like the movie is hot balls but it was so insane that like. i havent recovered
20:
TWENTY!!! FORTY DAYS DOWN WOWZA. that’s literally insane. its doggy bath day for me so im bathing the dog and he hates it but boo hoo stinky dog. maybe dont pee on yourself so often
also the plans are saturday!! i cant wait. and these are actually definitely go through so WWWWW
TRAILER DROP!!! WE GOT IT. POLYAMORY?!?! YES!! excited. thats all i can say
19:
time to get a little sad and vulnerable. got out of the house for the first time in awhile to go to my nana’s, she passed in late february and we’ve been working to sell the house and had a cleaning crew finish everything up before contracts were signed with realtors. and it was hella gutting seeing a home that has so many childhood memories emptied…or gutted i guess you could say, and today is the last day i’ll ever step foot in that house and it’s literally crazy. i dont regret not going up there as often as i could or anything but it is quite a sad conclusion to come to. it was a pretty productive day too, and im proud of myself! especially because ive been conscious about my productivity, motivation, and the like. so yay!
18:
i regret updating the tumblr app so bad..its so ugly now and theres so much to look at for what..i also woke up to some of the worst news imaginable for us americans, and like…idk
17:
yesterday was rough but i cant wait to see my bsfs so good vibes. great vibes even
it was fun!!!!!!!!!!! lightyear was..bad? it was very mid. but taika…so thats better. i gave it a 2/5 on letterboxd and the extra star was for taika so. but i feel so relieved i get to see them again because it really has been so long.. none of us have seen each other since we were 14!!!!!!!!! now we’re basically grown?!?!?
also ive been watching greys anatomy trying to catch up (for japril) and this show is so good but also extremely garbage… what do you mean deluca got stabbed in between episodes?? also these topical covid episodes are so tired and this is only episode 7 of a 20 episode season. if this whole season is covid themed ill kill myself because ive already heard the same spiel about feeling isolated and lonely and whatever. like yeah, everyone watching knows that, we all lived through the worst of it and have to deal with an unfinished aftermath. im so glad i waited to watch this because if at the high of the pandemic i tuned into this shit id be so over the show. but im attached to these characters and the neverending drama. im eating the tom and teddy stuff up!!!! i do want them to be together, i love tom and he deserves teddy. i quite like owen too and i feel bad for screwing him after he put in so much effort to make it work for teddy but thats exactly it. he shouldnt have to put up with her bs anymore (i like teddy too but girl)
16:
bored out of my mind.. so bored. thats all i can say today. bored.. i think im gonna force myself to start drawing again because i havent in months. i was in a bad burnout after art class so yk
15:
GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15!!!!!!! but KORACICK AND JACKSON LEFTttttt…. you can understand my pain. obviously it was for a good cause but goddammit!!!!!! ill miss you tom.. gone but never forgotten
14:
its day 13 but i completely forgot to update. it skipped my mind completely. i can’t remember anything that happened yesterday but teo weeks!!!!! two weeks left
13:
day 14 was an absolute blunder on my part. i knew missing a day was bound to happen eventually but man. that shows just how uneventful my days have been. i redownloaded genshin and this game is so boring even though i have all the inazuma and chasm stuff to do…but i hit 698?k with childe ult and that. makes me happy! back when i was into the game i was on a road to 1 million and this gets me about 7/10 of the way through…. im not p2w too so
I DISNT EVEN SKIP DAY 14. IM SO CONFUSED RN. YESTERDAY WAS DAY 14. IT IS DAY 13. god im such an idiot but im not going ro backspace any of this… late night phone call watching sing 2 and i got my best friend to watch some ofmd with me!! we are up to episode 6 but he fell asleep and i am so tored. also rsd is so awful like i love this show to death and when he doesnt laugh at something i want to cackle at i feel like im being stabbed brutally in the stomach? pretty sure hes enjoying it though. i feel glee! but the best part comes when i get to talk about every interview ive read, the story of how rhys was casted, because ive already had the honor of sharing tidbits like izzy canonically being the one who put the bows in eds beard in e5, and rhys taking sailing lessons while taika couldnt even read blackbeards wikia page… autism won today.
sing 2 was also an absolute blast, my friend asked if the little koala dude was voiced by the “guy who plays eddie from ofmd.” i was deeply confused, turns out he affectionately named stede ‘eddie,’ and no rhys does not voice buster moon. matthew mcconaughey does and he isnt even kiwi……. also i am like a rhys detector because that man is the voice of my conscious. it was a really great movie tho, like bono was in there and ??????? i love the sing franchise
12:
HAPPY JULY!!!!!!!! we are so close now. 1 week until thor, 12 days until wwdits, 4 months until greys anatomy, and about 1 year until omfd. its like everything is happening soon! also maybe i should stop thinking about time passing in my life relative to media i enjoy… but also it makes me happy. i watched boy (the taika movie) and that was another banger. taikas best talent isnt directing its finding insanely talented kids. boy is tonally similar to hunt for the wilderpeople but personally it lacks something in comparison? if i had to guess its because wilderpeople builds on family dynamics in a positive light while boy explores parental idolization and its wayyy too relatable at some points. its still a great film though 4.5/10 on letterboxd
11:
I think i counted the days wrong…? and now im weirdly confused and scared because it’s currently the 2nd and this is day..11? meaning this will end on the 13th as opposed to the 12th. this is so fucking scuffed and im not gonna edit anything i just have to live with my mistakes. maybe i really did miss day 14 though. im so confused?????? what happened. what went wrong.
anyway WE FINISHED OFMD TOGETHER!!!! he is not an izzy fan and im glad. hes also a jim/olu supremacist which like…yeah so true? now i just need to get him to watch wwdits and everything will be solved in the world probably
10:
TEN DAYS!!!!! (actually 9.) or maybe this is accurate but it goes to like 12:00 am july 13 which doesnt really count
anyway 5 am thoughts: been thinking about boy again and its growing very fond in my mind. i think letting the ending sit with me was for the better and i love this movie a lot more now (and i already loved it lots.) how cute
9:
watched mysterious skin and damn. in life youre either a neil or a brian and i am a brian so hard. nothing really remarkable to say today
8:
I DIDNT EVEN FUCK UP THE TIMING… the issue is that i always update this at like 5 am the next day and it throws everything off for me.. otherwise its the fourth of july i guess? nobody really celebrates this holiday anyway. its an excuse to grill and set off illegal fireworks and nobosy is thinking about the revolutionary war… also a bit of a rough time sociopolitically in the usa rn so. extra bunk holiday… i fixed up these star leds that have just been hanging on my wall for like 2 years and it added so much ambiance i love how my room looks now! its great
7:
forgot to update again except this time 2 days in a row hahahahahahahaha i was writing out the july fourth thing yesterday but got distracted and it never saved. i pulled itto today though!!!!!!’ im so happy but rest in peace to the next banner because im definitely not getting whatever character is on it. genshin is occupying my brain again and i dont like the inazuma lore but the characters have grown on me (mainly people i can associate with ayaka because shes one of my favorite characters all time) but others still have the personality of like a wet rag (cough raiden yae kokomi and gorou) IF YOUR FAV IS ON THAT LIST, FIGHT ME! id like to be proven wrong honestly! i want to like the characters! otherwise ONE WEEK! ONE WEEK! YEAH YEAHHH
6:
thor tmw!!!!! yeahhhhhhhh
that being all i wrote today tells so much. burn out isnt really the word because that seems like a real big overestimate but i am a bit exhausted of updating this, especially when i have to rack my brain for things to write? and i feel like im letting myself and others (despite me talking to a brick wall with this post basically) by not providing any interesting content in here. like that span of me playing terraria. how boring. and recently it’s been similarly dull. but luckily we’re coming to a quick end to this timeline with only a big 6 days left!
5:
its also a real struggle to scroll all the way down. thor today! thor soon. 2 hours until thor! yay. but also woke up to some terrible news that my dog *COULD* have cancer, we wont know really for another 2 weeks and then we wont know for certain until after a biopsy. sucks like shit though, that dog is like a brother to me. but…thor! thor is getting me through this
ITS SO GOOD. and say what you want taika did put gay sex in the marvel movie. korgdwayne forever. i cant even begin to comprehend how much i enjoyed that like tis so real. i am biased i am. but also i dont care what cishet people have to say about this movie. the queer rep was there and frankly its all i ever wanted/ask for
4:
OOPSIE DAISIE FORGOT TO UPDATE AGAIN. yesterday was fun. thor is my whole brain rn. thats all
3:
3 days left is so crazy. like this has been 58 days of sheer insanity and its coming to a close.
late night/early morning thoughts: im in such a prison built by internalized ableism and i know unmasking is possible but i never see myself able to escape this endless fucking nightmare. i want to be unashamed about all my autistic traits but its unbelievably difficult.. and so many people who i love and who love me don’t really know me even if they talk to me every single day because i barely know myself because of how far buried he is. and so thats another thing ill have to deal with
talking about anything is so difficult for me to do. crossing the barrier of mentioning anything im watching or reading is like climbing mount everest especially to people i havent known basically my entire life and its so awful? i wish it wasnt such a struggle to be. even when im not talking and if im just thinking about a hf/si i feel so awful and like im failing and i cant take much more of this. any of it, the shame, the self deprecation, anything
2:
SAW TOP GUN MAVERICK FINALLY!! im so glad i got to see it during the countdown its definitely part of the character arc ive went on throughout this post. what a tonal shift from yesterday also but wow only 2 days left! ive seen so many movies now… all i think of is movies anymore…. but its been a really good span of days recently i feel like summer is finally looking up! and soon wwdits is gonna be back with us like wow!!!! so much to look forward to im very excited. im always fucking excited for anything and everything. woo!!!
1:
what can i say that hasnt already been said, what a fuckin journey this has been and its soon gonna come to fruition. and also what a better way to send this off than I AM SICK AGAIN. thats the spirit of the countdown really. today is a chill day and tomorrow im gonna rewatch the 2014 movie for vibe reasons but like. im so happy and proud. wooooooo!!!!!
also i love walking around the house and hearing ra ra rasputin blaring loud on the tv cause the wwdits trailer. it makes me happy but im also remindes like oh shit this show is on cable tv. weird feeling? havent watched a show on cable in so long
0:
ITS OVER. THE WAIT IS OVER! i said most of the “sappy” shit yesterday but now its all official. im not gonna keep this going in between weekly episodes as a cheap way to keep this going. its over today. TODAY! gonna rewatch the movie in a bit probably just to get in a really vampiric mood but also the moon is full tonight iirc? what a coincidence (probably)
Well folks. thats the end there! just watched episode 3 so its exactly a week after this countdown so i think its a better time to write the conclusion, because its weird that it just cuts off. but there isnt a conclusion cause i already wrote it on days 1 & 0. see you next year when ofmd s2 is announced!
5 notes · View notes
videostak · 5 months
Text
ok hooked up the NES and played some kid icarus followed by punch out :D had more fun w/ the latter but also cause my dad came home super early so i wasnt rly able to focus too much on kid icarus and by the time i was able to focus i had already kinda gotten as far as i could get on like a average chill play. punch out is actually so much fun obv not a unique opinion but like its so cool. i still have my NES hooked up rn but am probably gonna unhook it just so i dont feel obligated to play it but its like rly cool i dont have many real great NES games tho tbh -_- i mean most of hte ones i do i also have on famicom so ya but i rly only have kid icarus, punch out, and contra as like cool dope games to play thru. my nes ninja gaiden cart doesnt work cause its too dirty and like idk i have tons of great famicom games i can like ideologically pour hours into learning the ropes in and just build up all this energy running thru but on NES i dont have many rly great games like that. honestly contra kid icarus and punch out are great games but i think im also intimidated by them especially contra and punch out cause i grew up knowing they weree hard and stuff so like im worried i cant beat them even tho im p sure i can if i actually like dedicate for a week or two. well maybe not punch out cause the final boss but like idk i beat batman on nes which has a p hard boss so i think i can def learn
0 notes
daeguzen · 2 years
Note
yooo thank you for your beautiful words T^TT i think very lowly of myself all the time and am surprised that my friends still stood by my side T^TT (not many, but they always see the good things in me and change my perspective when i doubt myself, so im really grateful to have known them T^TT)
aaand on the dating part!! im 24 now but ive never dated in my life 🤣 one friend said: "you just...don't seem like you're looking for it" and im like yeah, that's partially true😅 but the core reason is that ive never met someone that i seriously wanna be in a relationship with (crushes yes, but i tend to picture things in the long run and if i don't see a far future together, then my answer is always no). esp after graduating uni, i don't even think about wanting to be in a relationship anymore.. life has already consumed all of my energy and my heart is kinda numb now 😭 I'm so sorry for such a depressing rant 😭 you're still SO young and you deserve to pursue all that makes you happy and live the best life ❤️❤️ i really miss being 19~21 bc i met my bestest friends during this period and grew a lot :) I'm sure you're in one of your most amazing adulthood years now ❤️
ooh and how long will you be a substitute teacher for? do you need to teacher them the actual syllabus if the teacher is absent for some time? 😆
<3 <3 in this house we only spread positivity :) people aren't perfect by nature, so i think it's good that you have your friends because they accept you for who you are and aww that's sweet, i love that for you.
woah ~ it's so strange meeting people older than me because i feel very young and i look like it too lol i haven't aged much since beginnings of high school. i thank my dads genes for that LOL. so i feel like...im still a child when talking to older people but i've been told i have an old soul aha. and yeah i completely understand that, i don't have many friends but that's ok because i think it's comfortable sharing with a few people than a lot. i think romantic feelings would develop with someone i would know a little better and talk to often. romance is weird, it functions differently for anyone.
that's just what happens as you get older. when you're young everything is fun and games and you just go to school and do what your told. as you get older you have to set these things up for yourself, focus on finding a stable and decent income to keep yourself surviving in such a fast paced world. some situations are different than others so i love that you focus on what you need to do. romance is something that shouldn't and doesn't have to be rushed. and nah it isn't depressing it's interesting to read and interact with other people. your lifestyle seems kinda chill to be honest, especially from the way that you talk, i get chill vibes :D
awww ^~^ thank you, i shall try my best to pursue what i enjoy, i think a life full of art, fashion, and music, is beautiful. it's fun and refreshing for me. and to those who go into medical school, social work, teaching, and so much more have decided on career paths that contribute a lot to helping other people on a more personal level and i think that too is greatly respectable. all careers should be like that, appreciated for what they are. (aww hun you're still hella young tho two years isn't two big of difference but yess, reliving those moments in your head tho that's a therapeutic thing) thank you for all your kind words too, i really appreciate them ^~^ i never saw myself in this position of being able to interact with people online, especially over my writings, so i'm happy that i've gotten to meet people on here, it's sweet.
and honestly, i am not sure, i was thinking of doing it next year but my first half of the semester, i ended up with morning classes. so i only have two days in the week to actually work as a sub. i currently work with kids as an assistant so i just help out the actual teacher. in the future with the older kids i don't think i'd be in charge of teaching them because i wouldn't be able to take a long term sub job if a teacher is absent for a longer period of time. i have my own classes to attend and responsibilites so even if i wanted to i wouldn't be able to. but i think im gonna try to look for another job for the summer or for jobs at my campus to fill in during days i can't sub. this past spring semester i did nothing LOL but this is where the fun is gonna start because i'll be going back to getting productive and enjoying caffeine :D
0 notes