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#im just rlly tired like. all that work and it was for nothing
venomgaia · 27 days
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ngl i genuinely wholeheartedly think i paint best in paint tool sai 1.0 theres just smthn so distinct about the rendering thats unique in sai pieces vs stuff i do in csp or procreate. i can get CLOSE but its not the same
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cutemeat · 2 years
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i rlly truly hate feeling so useless. i just. am. but i dont want to accept it.
#i need to. i mean look. dennis couldnt accept it n it made him miserable#i hav no energy even 4 sunny this is. bad jknfdkjgntr#i am having . a rough week#i keep overcompensating n trying to sound smart cuz i know im not. i could not graduate from public HS. i know im not smart.#i could never get into college. would not even pass a class. i just. am not. smart. but i wish i was. i try to sound like a smart person.#but its all cuz i know im not#i cannot. do anything. but ppl look at me n they say 'ok u are capable :)' n then i still cannot do much. but i LOOK like i can.#it doesnt matter how many times i prove im a failure. they still say well u just are not trying hard enough. keep going.#but its never enough. n i dont know how to be enough. idk what i am good for.#i just dont 'apply myself' . i feel so fucking awful. i hate it i cannot do this shit. but i have to. i am so tired i want to go home.#how do u apply yrself when there is nothing to apply#but theres not anything wrong with me. so its just me. n i cant . i . feel like a robot every day. nothing in me. nothing.#but ppl look at me n know i must serve some function or purpose right? so just keep going. keep going#i feel Plateau lately#i try to apply myself but it never works. tell me why it never works. tell me why. am i rlly just a lazy piece of shit. i guess so.#n i cant be pleasant abt it when ppl try to help i only make it worse#cuz no one seems to be able to find an explanation otherwise. in 20 yrs if there was one they wouldve found it by now right
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afternines · 1 year
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I HAVE TO LAUGH I HAVE TO LAAUGGGGFHFH
#when i dropped out of school and started working somehow everything started being easier#my social anxiety got soooo much better . my depression got so much better and i wasnt stressed at any giving time and i thought#that maybe all my mental health problems were just a direct consequence of me being undiagnosed nd in an environment that expected too much#from me without offering accommodations for me to reach those goal#like work is still tiring and overstimulating at times but theres no deadlines!!! i dont have to bend n break my back to get certain tasks#done!!!!! like i have a package of tasks i just loop through and i can plan in my own days and weeks and decide what i will be doing when#and how and theres no wrong or right system of doing things as long as the result is just what my boss wishes for and im AUGDHDGFH im so#lucky to be here#To get back to the point im trying to make tho.#as i left an environment that just wasnt good for me and entered another environment that somehow did wonders to my mental health i rlly#thought i would find peace from now on. Like id still get upset and sad or whatever like non mentally ill people do too#but it wouldnt be to an extent anymore where i wanna hurt myself or disappear forever#and for a bit more than a year everything was good!!!!! started to think i made up all my mental problems tbh#but lately things have been so tuff . i havent been this depressed in years#and like i can still physically do things . i can still go to work and clean my room and take showers and whatnot#but im so exhausted. and i keep crying all the time and i feel like everyone hates me for being so . depressed and i cannot physically do#the one thing i love doing (drawing) like nothing i try comes out good enough which just makes me cry again lol#and i dont . i dont understand it#bc i removed all (most?) of the factors that were making me this mentally nauseous and i was supposed to feel better . i was supposed to fee#good now. but i feel like im back at uni sitting on my bed crying over my notebooks trying to cram all the paragraphs into my head not#understanding why i cant remember anything for my classes . why its easy for everyone but me#everything always seems easy for everyone but me#i really dont understand#is this really a part of me . will i really always be this miserable and insecure? will i always hate myself and not feel enough?#im still the same person i was before i just wear different clothes#my body grows but i just dont grow up
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murdrdocs · 1 year
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saber tooth | f. odair
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description. just two days out from the Games, your mentor and best friend, finnick odair, comes to your room late at night in a mutual fit of insomnia to fulfill your (potentially) dying wish 
includes. SMUT 16+, fem!reader, oral f!receiving, fingering, loss of virginity sans p in v, canon-complicit angst, mentions of finnick’s trafficking, best friends to lovers, reader’s a tribute, finnick’s her mentor, extremely brief misunderstandings, soft dom finnick, pleasure dom finnick, brief mention of drug use (one line), finnick and annie were never together but he mentored her, he rlly cares abt r :((, giggly sex (sometimes), throw away line abt lack of body hair but i rlly like body hair
a/n: whaddup whaddup! this started as a blurb but it um ,,, clearly expanded. there’s no p in v simply bc im so tired rn however i would like to continue this in the future if my mind would allow it :) also the title has nothing to do with the fic i was just listening to easily by chuck inglish
word count: 4k+ 
part 2
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A week of anticipation, festivities, and celebration for the Capitol, was a week of anxiety, tears muffled into pillows, and wishing to be somewhere else for you. 
The week leading up to the 72nd Hunger Games. 
The Reaping, Opening Ceremony, and the three days of training that followed were mostly a blur. Your body picked up on the techniques you would need to survive, and with the help of Finnick, you’d managed to commit them to memory. You remembered the way you’d been trained to sit and talk and the jokes you should slip into conversation with Caesar tomorrow night. 
All of their training was working, and Finnick had told you that you had a high chance of making it out of that area. A high chance. Nothing was guaranteed at this point in your life. Which is why you needed to do a few final things. 
The door to your bedroom slides open. You lift your head from the pillow and squint. There’s a little light coming from the hallway, and it backlit the figure. But even without it, you would know who was coming to see you. The only person who’d been coming to see you since the arrival at the Tribute Center. 
“Hey, Finn,” you mumble, resting your head back against the pillow that’s always cool. 
Finnick takes a few steps into your room, stopping to flick a switch that only turns on the lamps beside your bed, and the two ambient ones in the corners. 
“Hey, sweetheart,” his voice is raspy, as if he’s tired, but not to the point of already greeting sleep. It’s a little later than it should be, you were recommended to have gone to sleep two hours ago but you couldn’t. There was too much going on in your head, too many unsaid words and undone actions. You couldn’t sleep with your consciousness this awake. 
Finnick voices the matter. “You can’t sleep, can you?” 
You shake your head, deciding to sit up a little, your bare lower half still secure underneath the thick comforter. Your room was always cold, and the silk sheets mirrored the temperature. Physically, you were the most comfortable you’d ever been, wearing the softest cotton undergarments, and a silk button up nightshirt, your toes warm beneath fuzzy socks. But the weight on your mind was the complete opposite. 
With the way Finnick looks at your face, he can tell just how exhausted you are. 
“Want something to help with that?” He asks as he sits at the edge of the bed, close but entirely too far from you. “A drink? Pills? The Capitol has it all, you know.” The way he says it is the opposite of marveling, the words laced with annoyance and frustration. His tone prompts a small smile from you. 
“‘M okay. I trust my body to do what it’s supposed to.” Finnick’s head is turned down, but you see the way the corner of his lip curls up. 
He lifts his head to fully smile at you, one of sympathy and pity and sadness. His hand reaches out and his palm rests over the outline of your shin. Far too many layers are between the bare skin on both of you, but you don’t say so. You just give Finnick an equally sad smile, expressing your dismay for your situation, and you begin to pick at your nails in your lap. 
“What’re you doing in here? Shouldn’t you be asleep?”
Finnick shakes his head. “No such luck for me either.” He shrugs as if he’s used to it and you remember that he’s been in this position too. Just a few years ago, a young boy, your best friend, was sitting in this bed, with similar thoughts weighing on his mind. And now his best friend was in that position. 
You push the sheets back, exposing the beginnings of the skin on your thigh, and you pat the space beside you. “C’mon,” you encourage, not ceasing your patting until Finnick scoffs and slides his slippers off, crawling up to slip under the covers with you. 
The bed is larger than you’d ever seen, something your escort called a ‘bed fit for a king’, but Finnick chooses to sit right beside you, the heat of his body warming yours. 
“We could watch something. What plays on the television in the Capitol?” Finnick’s sitting so close to you that you can feel him shrug. Whenever you reach over to the bedside table, pulling the drawer open to grab the remote, you come back to sit even closer to him, where your arms are pressed flush against each other. 
“Mostly shows about the lives of celebrities here.” 
You gasp, turning to face him. “Is that rumor about you appearing on some reality show true?” Finnick’s ears redden and that’s enough confirmation that you need. Your head throws back with a hearty laugh, and you click on the TV with hopes of finding an episode. 
Finnick sits quietly beside you as you click through the channels, reading the titles and watching maybe a second or two of content before you decide to try the next thing. When you’ve gone through most channels, you land on the one that will play the Games. 
He says your name, as a warning perhaps, but you click it anyway, seeing that they’re talking about you. 
“Now the odds of this one making it out are pretty high. She’s pretty, smart, and trained by the Finnick Odair,” a clip of you and Finnick appears, one that must’ve been taken backstage during the Opening Ceremony. He’s standing close to you, crouched down just enough to meet your eye level. You’re obviously nervous, and he’s obviously attempting to soothe those nerves, cracking jokes with a hand held to your heart, both of yours over it.  “The Capitol’s Prince.” The announcer pronounces those words clearly, enunciated, making sure every late night viewer understands Finnick’s alternate title. 
Clips of Finnick throughout the years show and you grow silent, watching how he commands a room better than you ever could. 
“If she were to make it out, I’m sure she could become the Capitol’s Princess, right?” The announcer smiles just as the remote is snatched from your hands and the TV is clicked off, ridding the bedroom of the colorful hues and leaving you and Finnick with the yellow light from your lamps. 
“Why did you–?” Finnick’s interrupting. He’s thrown the remote to the side of him and he’s turned to face you. 
“I want you to make it out of the Games, I really do.” You nod, watching the way his chest rises and falls with breaths that fill the hesitant silence. “But, I don’t want what happened to me to happen to you.” 
“What do you mean? You don’t want me to be loved and adored by the Capitol?” You say it a tad bit sarcastically, but your tone dulls down when you notice how serious his face is. 
He shakes his head. “No, I really don't.” You scoff, beginning to get upset over the idea that a night that was turning peaceful, began to turn on its head. “Because everything comes with a price here,” he says your name, making sure you’re listening. “The ‘love’ the Capitol has for me is ingenuine, they love me like I’m an object. Not a person with thoughts and feelings.” 
“Finnick, I don’t think I understand.” But you do, you really do. 
He tells you as much, that same sad smile from earlier on his lips. 
Before you can speak, he does. “Look, I came in here to ask you what you want.” 
Your eyebrows furrow. 
“Before the Tributes I mentor get sent off, I like to fulfill their wish. In case they don’t…”
“In case they don’t make it back.” He nods. “So a dying wish?” Another nod. 
“So, what d’you want?” 
You know what you want. You’ve wanted it since you were a teenager, watching Finnick, the most loved victor, leave for the Capitol and come back weeks later. Since you watched him train Annie Cresta and everyone, including yourself, believed there to have been something between them. Since he walked into your room just 20 minutes ago. 
“What I want, I don’t think I can ask you for.” You speak low, your voice a whisper. Your head rests on the headboard behind you, turned to face Finnicks. 
He shakes his head gently. “I have connections. I can guarantee almost anything.” 
“No, Finn.” You don’t think you can ask him for this. Especially with what he’s essentially just told you. It would be selfish, it would be insincere, it would ruin the friendship you have between you two. 
“I can’t.” 
His head’s already facing yours, and he brings one of his hands up to cup your cheek, his thumb caressing the skin. 
“Yes, you can.” 
“No, Finn, I can’t.” Your eyes sting, as does your nose, and you know there’s no use in pretending the tears aren’t there. He’s seen them, he’s acknowledged them by swiping his thumb under your eye, catching the first drop. 
“I would do anything for you. Just say the word.” 
You search his eyes, his face, the tip of his ears, his Adam’s Apple. You’re looking for his tell. But it’s not there. It’s just Finnick. Your Finnick. And he wants the best for you. 
You’re the most vulnerable you’ve ever been at this moment; sitting in a bed in the Tribute Center, just two days out from the Hunger Games, a period of uncertainty that is life or death; your best friend, and unrequited crush, as your mentor, having to hold your pieces together at least until the end of this. 
There’s no point in hiding anything. You know you need to lay it all out. So you do. 
“Even take my virginity?” 
The air is still. Stiff. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t breathe. His thumb halts. He doesn’t blink. 
You sit there, watching him, holding in the sob that threatens to wrack across your body. 
“Forget it. I’m sor–” 
“Yes.” 
“What?” 
“Yes.” 
There’s a moment where you don’t act. A moment where disbelief trickles down your body like the tears from your eyes do on your face. 
“Finn…” 
“I would do anything for you. I have wanted you since we were young, but I thought…” 
“Doesn’t matter what you thought then. Not anymore. We go from here now.” 
And there is the nagging possibility that all of this could be because of your potential fate. Maybe he’s humoring you, or letting you in on that final step of human intimacy before your life ends. You prefer not to think about it. Especially whenever Finnick’s moving closer to you and you can feel his breath on your lips. 
Your lips are almost touching, the tanned skin of his face is right in front of you, the same goes for the pink of his lips. He’s almost there, then he says, “Are you sure?” 
“‘M sure.” And Finnick is kissing you. Finnick Odair is finally kissing you. 
He kisses you softly, sweetly, with precision and a gentle nature. As if he’s afraid that he’ll do something wrong and hurt you. 
You kiss him back in a similar fashion, just with added timidness that Finnick doesn’t possess. 
Your hands raise slowly, in choppy motions that are both due to your uncertainty, and the distraction of finally having the man of your dreams kiss you like you’re made of porcelain. But you manage to get your hands to Finnicks torso, palms pressed flat against his thin shirt so that you can feel the abs along his torso. 
You’ve felt them before, in time of play fighting, or whenever he would have you replicate his breathing or form. But touching along his torso in this circumstance is different. Now, your touch ignites a fire within you. It makes Finnick grip the back of your neck and pull you closer with one hand, the other sliding the covers away and hooking his hand at the back of your thigh, pulling your left leg over your right. 
Your hands slide down to the hem of his shirt, slowly starting to slide it up until he gets the hint and pulls away just enough for you to slide the shirt between you two, up and over his head. Then he’s back on you. 
When you sigh blissfully into his mouth, he starts to kiss you like he’s desperate to have you close. Like he wants to engulf your entire being until you’re intertwined. 
The best you can do is physically move closer to him, letting the hand on the back of your thigh guide you to straddling his lap. 
It’s then that Finnick pulls away from you. Your hands trail up to cup his cheeks, moving back to play with the golden blonde locks that seemed to never be out of place. 
He stares up at you, sea-green eyes pulling you even further into a state of enchantment. Whenever he tilts his head, eyes stuck on you, and kisses into your palm, you melt. His hand lifts to gently circle around your wrist, nimble fingers rubbing little circles into the skin. 
After a few moments of comfortable silence, Finnick speaks. “I need you to remember that even if I’m doing the work, you set the pace. You tell me what you like and don’t like. You tell me when to go and when to stop. Okay?” 
“Okay.” 
And then you’re back at it. His hands circle around to your lower back, pushing into the curvature to bring your chest closer to him. He uses the position to his advantage, dipping his head to kiss at the exposed bits of your skin; your neck, collarbone, the starts of your cleavage. He quickly becomes frustrated with the lack of skin, and you bite back a smile as you gently nudge his head back and begin to undo the buttons. 
He watches you in a trance-like state with a look that seems akin to awe. You can’t help but tease him just a bit, shifting in your position atop his crotch and slowing your work on the buttons. 
Finnick groans and his hands leave your lower back to push your own hands away, deciding to undo your buttons himself, grumbling something under his breath about you being a tease. 
When you giggle above him, Finnick has you pushed onto your back in what seems like the blink of an eye. Really, it did happen quick, but your eyes were already closed from giggling so hard, so reopening them to Finnick above you, your shirt opened and your barely confined tits in Finnick’s eyeline, is disorienting. 
“Jesus, look at you,” Finnick mumbles. And he is. His eyes are hungirly skirting over your figure, taking it all in. From your eyes, to the bra that you wear, all the way to the cotton panties that hug your hips. 
His gaze stops at your lower half for a while, watching your stomach rise and fall with your breaths and the way there’s definitely a little wet patch on your panties. 
“What am I gonna do with you?” He mumbles under his breath. The question is rhetorical, and meant only for him. But, in a fit of nerves, you answer anyway, needing to do something other than lay there. 
“I don’t know, Finn, there’s a lot that you can do. You can go down on me, give me your fingers, your cock.” 
His eyes lift to yours, shock evident within them. “Did you just say the word ‘cock’?” He laughs between the words, that perfectly pearly white smile greeting you. 
“Yeah,” you say, laughing through the syllables too. 
Finnick shakes his head with that smile still present. 
He swears under his breath but then his fingers are playing with the hem of your panties and you’re back under, focused on what he could possibly plan to do next. He hums, eyes on you, eyebrows raised. 
It takes you a second to realize what his intentions were, but you do soon enough. “Keep going. Please.” 
The tips of his fingers reach below the band of your panties. He begins to pull them down, just until your hip bones and the start of your mound becomes visible. At first, you disgraced the Capitols groomers' work of ridding your entire body of hair, but you can’t help but feel a little grateful that they did. You knew that Finnick wouldn’t care either way. 
You lift your hips, letting Finnick pull your panties over the curve of your ass. When they sit at the halfway point of your thighs, he lowers his head and presses his lips to the area right above the waistband. And he continues to do so, sliding your underwear down and kissing through the journey. 
The last kiss he gives you is on the arch of your foot, right before he guides the garment over the remaining part of your body, throwing them off to the side of the bed. 
Finnick sits back on his heels then, just looking at you, looking at your legs which are just almost crossed at the knee, your ankles together and one knee raised slightly above the other. You’re shielding the most vulnerable part of you, hiding it almost. But when his green eyes meet your center, briefly meeting your eyes, you slowly part your legs, allowing him to see you in all of your glory. 
Finnick sucks in a sharp breath of air, his chest rising with it. He doesn’t let it out until your legs are completely opened and bent at the knee, inviting him in. You sit halfway up on your elbows, watching him, waiting for him. 
It’s not long until he makes a move, just a few tense moments and then Finnick’s kicked into action. 
His calloused hands on your knees, sliding around to the back of your thighs as he lays on his stomach, directly facing your cunt. 
When he speaks, you can feel his breath on you. “I wanna taste you, sweetheart. Just for a bit. Is that alright?” 
His eyes are visible over your mound, but they’re not focused on you just this once. They’re focused on your cunt, scanning it, taking it all in almost as if he’s committing this moment to his very strong memory. 
You’re a little starstruck, reckoning with the notion that Finnick wants to give you head. Therefore, you sit there in stunned silence, attempting to find the words to deliver your over enthusiastic agreement. But Finnick takes your silence negatively. 
“You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to, honey. Just wanna make you feel good. That’s what I’m here for.” And there are those eyes again. They’re pleading, but also making you feel comfortable, reminding you that you’re in charge. 
You smile gently, nodding. “Yes.” 
And the first lick has your head spinning. His tongue is warm, and wet, and he licks a long stripe from your leaking entrance to your clit. It’s slow, and methodical. He licks your juices up, but they’re coming back tenfold by the time he’s pressed a kiss to your clit. 
A surprised moan pushes up your throat. The feeling has your hips pushing into his face on their own accord, your elbows slipping out from under you and your head throwing back onto the mattress. 
Finnick disconnects from you for just a second to let out a pleased groan, but the absence is too much for you already. You’re wiggling your hips, searching for him. 
Finnick laughs and the sound has heat rising through you. “‘M still here. Not leaving this pussy anytime soon.” 
He lives up to his promise immediately. His mouth’s back on you, licking and sucking on your most sensitive parts. 
It’s now that you remember how experienced Finnick is. How knowledgeable he is about the general spots of someone’s body. And he’s able to apply that knowledge to your body, with the help of your zealous responses. 
You’re moaning, your back arching, your hands gripping the sheets. Your knees bend more, your legs spread more, it’s all more and more and more. You want more from Finnick. You need more. 
You’re communicating that fact when you finally have enough courage to fist a hand into Finnick’s hair, and it’s like he’s rewarding you when he slyly begins to probe a finger at your tight entrance. 
You’re clenched, far from relaxed, but with a deep breath, you’re loose enough for him to slide in to the first knuckle, then the second, then all the way, his single digit comfortable within your walls. 
Finnick fucks you with his finger, aiding the penetration with his pretty pink lips around your pink nub. He sucks, the pressure making your head spin, your consciousness in the clouds to the point where you don’t notice another of Finnick’s deft fingers teasing your entrance. 
“Another?” he asks, voice barely able to be heard due to his proximity to your cunt. 
“Uh-huh,” is all the affirmation you can give. 
It’s a little tight and uncomfortable at first, but once his digits are evened out and curling in you, and his tongue is lapping up your juices like it’s water, you’re riding so high in a blissed out state that discomfort is the last thing on your mind. 
Your approaching orgasm becomes known to you quicker than you can anticipate. It’s like all of a sudden there’s tension in your lower abdomen, begging for your attention, begging to be released. 
“Finnick, Finn,” he hums, not stopping any of his ministrations. “‘M so close. Almost there.” 
You hadn’t thought it to be possible but Finnick gives you more. His fingers fuck you faster and harder, his cheeks hollow as he alternates between sucking along your nerves and stroking his tongue is the areas that you’re most sensitive. 
It feels so fucking good, a pleasure you’d never experienced in your life. You couldn’t imagine being in this position with anyone other than your best friend, someone you trusted with your entire being. It’s as if he knows your body better than you do, because sooner than you would’ve liked, your back is arching and your legs are lifting off the bed and your nails are digging into Finnick’s scalp, all signs that your orgasm is right there and you cum with a loud cry that melts into breathy moans. 
Finnick pulls his fingers out of your cunt but his mouth stays on you, placing gentle kisses and kitten licks along the slicked area. When your legs have lowered and your breath has evened out, he pulls his head away from you, a wince leaving his lips. 
“Darling,” he starts, receiving an affirmative hum in response. “You’re pulling my hair out.” 
“Oh, shit, sorry.” Your hand lets go of his hair, your body burning with embarrassment. But Finnick’s bright laugh and content smile soothes you. 
“‘S okay,” he mumbles as he leans up and presses a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, then your lips. Your lips mold to his like they were created for each other, and the kiss is slow, methodical, loving. 
You whine when he pulls away, but his hands have already hooked under your thighs and he’s pulling you with him as he starts to sit back. 
You end up in the position you started in, sitting on Finnick’s lap, your hands on his shoulders. 
Under you, you can feel his bulge confined in his pants. You shift a little over it, your throat beating with your heart rate due to the anticipation. 
Finnick’s eyes close softly and his head throws back. Your hand rises to push back the bangs of his hair which lay on his forehead, in favor of resting your skin against his. 
“Sweetheart,” he groans. “We …. We can’t.” 
Your heart drops. 
“Huh?” 
“I wanna feel you, sweetheart, I swear.” His eyes open to stare at yours and you notice the sincerity in them. It doesn’t do much to lift your spirits, though. “But we can’t. Not yet.” 
Your eyebrows furrow, waiting for further explanation. It comes from him quickly. 
“I need you in your right mind in the Games. You need to be focused, and only thinking about survival. Nothing else.” 
“You’re so full of yourself.” 
He chuckles. “Maybe. But we have to play it safe.” A beat. “You trust me, right?” 
And you do. Wholeheartedly. 
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fanon-canon-idfk · 2 months
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WAIT POLY SKK SCENARIO THAT HAS BEEN ROTTING IN MY BRAIN FOR A WHILE…
GC WHERE MALE READER SENDS GOOFY AHH STUFF TO THE GC AND CHUUYA GETS SO ANNOYED
aftercare (if ur uncomfortable with the genre pls skip)
where like after masc reader is just too fkin tired to put le boxeres back on so he just sits there tired asf and chuuya is like dude we just finished out it back on 🧍 and ofc dazais gonna be goofy asf like “ooo look at mr show off over hereeeee”
ALSO ALSO…
M! READER THAT IS LIKE RLLY SLEEPY WHENEVER HE RECIEVES AFFECTION JUST LIKE A FEW KISSES AND HES GONE WITH THE WIND
imagine the use of “pretty boy” to m! reader ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
1ST SCENARIO
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It was yet another day at work in the agency alongside your boyfriend, Dazai
Who was also texting your other boyfriend, Chuuya.
Meanwhile, you were focusing on finishing your work as your phone buzzed in sync with giggles from Dazai sitting in the desk beside you.
The moment you finished your paperwork you looked over to his grinning face with a lifted brow before pulling your phone out and reading your notifications:
Chu Chu 10:47 PM
What are you guys doing?
Osa 10:49 PM
Dying of boredom 💔
Chu Chu 10:49
So you’re doing nothing
Osa 10:50
Chuuya expects so little of me! I’m working very hard!!
Chu Chu 10:50
Whatever I’m going back to work
Ah so that’s why Dazai was giggling.
Such a shame though, he seems so bored again now without anything to do. (bc he refuses to do his work)
So, as the good boyfriend you are, you picked up your phone and started typing.
You 10:52
Don’t be a bully Chu
Chu Chu 10:53
Tf you mean bully???
You 10:53
Poor Osamu is crying now!!!
Right on cue, you hear Dazai giggling again with his phone in his hands. He looks up at you with a giant grin, mischief already riddling his complexion.
Dazai wheels his chair right beside yours and whispers something in your ear, causing you to nod and chuckle to yourself.
Dazai put on a sad face, a pout with some puppy eyes, (Literally this emoji 🥺) and you took a photo of him with your phone.
You 10:55
[Sent an image]
Chu Chu 10:55
Oh stfu
Osa 10:55
ITS TRUE YOUVE BROKEN MY HEART SLUG 💔
Chu Chu 10:55
I’m going back to work.
You 10:56
CHUUYA APOLOGIZE
Osa 10:56
APOLOGIZE
Chu Chu 10:56
STFU IM WORKING
Osa 10:57
APOLOGIZE‼️
You 10:57
APOLOGIZE
Chu Chu 10:58
OH MY FUCKING GOD
He loves you guys <3
2ND SCENARIO
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Chuuya and Dazai had gone off to shower together after the 3 of you had an… intimate moment. You however, decided to shower after them because you were fucking exhausted.
Having two guys in bed with you is a lotta work, who knew.
You stayed laying down on the mattress, an arm over your face as your eyes started growing heavy. Ultimately, you fell asleep for a short nap.
In, what for you felt like a few minutes, Chuuya and Dazai had exited the bathroom with a new set of outfits on.
The second they laid their eyes on you Chuuya spoke up, “Oh what the fuck? You can’t even just put on your boxers??”
You woke up at the sound of his voice, situating yourself to rest on your elbows lazily as you looked back at them both. “Yup. Too much work..” you sighed.
Dazai chuckled, “Oh no, please, do keep yourself as comfortable possible~.” He smirked, eyeing your bare body admiringly.
“Ok- you, go fuckin shower,” he ordered, pointing at you sternly before turning around to Dazai.
“And you- stop fucking looking! I’m not going another round just because you can’t relax!” He shoves his hands over Dazai’s eyes, pushing him and himself out of the bathroom doorway for you to go in.
You sighed tiredly, begrudgingly getting up and grabbing yourself some clothing from the dresser. You groggily walked into the bathroom, leaving Chuuya and Dazai alone.
As you closed the door behind you, Chuuya removed his hands from Dazai’s face, revealing a pouting expression.
“What?” Chuuya questioned,
Dazai just responded simply, “Cockblocker.”
3RD SCENARIO
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You were all sitting on the couch watching a movie, yourself sitting in the middle. Dazai had his head resting on your shoulder while Chuuya was locking hands with you.
It was late at night so it was normal for you to be tired, but you didn’t feel like falling asleep in the slightest quite yet, the movie holding your attention a bit too well.
That was until you felt Dazai place a soft peck on your jawline, and you just instantly internally melted.
Your eyes started growing heavy like it was magic, you suddenly didn’t have the strength to even keep your head up! You laid your head atop of Dazai’s, his soft locks not doing you any favors.
You were at war with your eyelids, fighting to keep them open so you could keep watching the movie with your boyfriends.
Chuuya then looked over to you, noticing your battle to stay awake. “Are you falling asleep?” He chuckled, you replied stubbornly “No..”
He just laughed again, sliding his hand around your head and pulling you in to use his lap as a pillow. “It’s ok, pretty boy,” he smiled softly “just get your rest, we can always watch the movie again.”
Dazai watched the scene play out between you two, deciding to join in as he laid down as well. He rested his head onto your chest as he laid on top of you.
“Get your rest, handsome,” he teased, his words accompanied by another soft kiss, this time to your neck.
With that, you accepted your fate. Within just a few seconds, you were out like a light.
“Night sleeping beauty.” Chuuya whispered softly, lulling you further into sleep with a hand in your hair.
TYSM FOR GIVING ME THESE SCENARIOS THEY WERE SO CUTE ALSO HAPPY LATE VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE <33
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heesdreamer · 1 year
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YOU MAKE ME
PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader
SUMMARY ➩ struck with insomnia your entire life, you’ve taken to exploring the city restless all night. things change when you meet a tall boy with tired eyes and bruised knuckles
WARNINGS ➩ heeseung is lowkey crazy and obsessed with reader, parental death and abuse and implied violence, sexual scenes and commentary, mental health talk (especially insomnia)
WC ➩ 17k
AUTHORS NOTE ➩ (i lied lol part 2 soon) NOOO PART 2 plz don’t request im so serious i rlly love this story and it’s completed it has nothing else to add! im glad you guys enjoy my work enough to want more but when there is no feedback in ur comment and just “need part 2” when i spent so much time writing 13k+ words it makes me feel terrible lol. i rlly hope you love this as much as me (NOT PROOFREAD)
Your mother used to tell you that she thought you were born from a piece of the moon.
When you were old enough to understand her and her strange sayings, she’d tell you stories about how when you were a baby you’d never sleep through a night. She looked mystified as she explained to you the ways in which you’d gain energy every time the sun set, becoming whiny and ornery whenever she’d take you with her to run errands during the day.
She told you how you struggled in school for most of your early years, always being found curled up in your backpack cubby or under the slides at the playground because you hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before.
You always were much more cynical than your mother, less of a dreamer and typically prone to aggravation or grumpy tired mumbles. She’d tell you your connection with the moon was a blessing, a lifelong friend for you and you’d retort back that it was a nuisance.
When your mom died you finally realized what she had meant for the first time. You spent nights awake, like usual, but now they were accompanied by nothing but the sounds of your low sobs and your father drinking himself stupid just below your bedroom. It wasn’t until you cracked open your bedroom window for some fresh winter air did you catch sight of the moon and finally feel it, finally feel the connection you’d always been told you had.
Years had passed now and while you didn’t cry every night anymore, you still rarely found yourself able to sleep through the night.
You’d also turned your back on the moon again now that you were older and still just as restless, sleeping throughout your classes and lacking any social life considering the way you wandered through the halls like a ghost with sunken eyes and dark circles.
It was frustrating to you that nothing seemed to be working, no amount of teas or yoga exercises. You’d gone as far as to take prescribed sleep medication, only working enough to make you more exhausted than you already were yet not putting you to rest like you were longing for.
Years of trying and you’ve mostly given up, accepted your condition and never once considered it the blessing your mother had tried to convince you it was.
Blessings wouldn’t leave your bones aching, they wouldn’t leave you slow blinking trying to understand what your teachers were saying or stumbling holding your lunch tray. Blessings surely wouldn’t have you stood in the middle of a dirty 7/11, clutching three bags of chips and a large slushee while you impatiently waited for the two people in front of you to move along.
You’d realized a few things by being a night owl, only ever interacting with people having the same issue as you or people who worked early enough that you’d pass by them on your way back to your house.
You’d taken to spending your nights awake out in the city, sick of staring at your ceiling or scrolling down the same boring timelines that carried nothing but the same content posted thousands of times with different wordings. So you started to explore at some point during high school, each night pushing yourself to wander further and find something interesting before heading back.
Sometimes you ended up at the river, sitting and watching drunk older men laugh with their friends like they were teenagers, catching the ends of failed dates as they walked home with their heels in their hands.
Other times you sat and drank coffee in the few 24 hour shops scattered around the city, sipping it slowly until it was cold and the added sugar was hardening at the bottom of your paper cup.
Most times however you simply found yourself stood in this exact position, holding your snacks of choice and tapping your foot impatiently while you waited for the drunk college students in front of you to stop joking around with the exhausted cashier and pay for their beers. It wasn’t that late yet, not quite the time of night that got you weird stares for wandering around in your pajamas.
You could hear the cashiers tired voice repeating their total to them, asking if they wanted to pay with cash or card and you sighed softly. You tilted to the side with an exaggerated sway so you could see over their laughing bodies, vaguely meeting eyes with the boy behind the counter before flopping back to your original position.
A heavy sigh was slipping out of your mouth before you even realized it and one of the drunk men turned back to look at you, an eyebrow cocked in offense as he let out a nasty laugh after taking you in.
You were pretty used to that reaction, standing in your plaid pajamas with your favorite bunny slippers and knitted hat. Your eyes were low and heavy with sleep deprivation, an annoyed glint to your expression that seemed to aggravate him further once the glare was set towards him.
“Are we bugging you Ms?” He was asking it in a mockingly sweet tone, clearly antagonizing you due to your impatience. You sighed again and your eyes drifted to the side for a moment in indifference, too exhausted to hold a conversation let alone argue with a grown man who didn’t know how to behave in a public setting.
“Yeah.. a little bit.” You were casually mumbling after a few beats of him and his friend staring at you, realizing now they weren’t going to just let you go without a response.
He was scoffing like it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard and you felt a little jolt of your inner alert system when he was taking a step towards you, his much larger frame slightly intimidating on top of the fact he was drunk and not thinking clearly.
He stopped early in his advances however and you were confused for a second before you registered the sound of the cashier clearing his throat, the two men turning back to look at him with an incredulous look. When you’d first gotten a glimpse of him he’d been bent over the counter, his elbows resting against it with a bored expression but now that he was standing up to his full height you faltered a bit at how tall he was.
The two men seemed to be thinking the same thing as you, suddenly hesitant in their childish behavior and awkwardly handing him a wadded up bill before taking their case of beer and staggering out of the convenience store.
“Thanks.” You were muttering and dumping your snacks out onto the counter, awkwardly catching one of the candy bars that bounced off a bag of chips and almost fell back onto the ground.
“No problem.” He was responding back with a small shrug and you glanced at him curiously, scanning his tired eyes down to the work uniform that didn’t fit him properly.
“You’re not Jake.” You were announcing and he faltered in his scanning, eyes widening a touch as he looked down at you. He was wearing a name tag but you came by often enough to know that it wasn’t his own, never having seen him before and growing used to the friendly smile the usual third shifter would give you every time you dragged yourself in.
“Uh.. no. I’m not, yeah you’re right.” He was awkwardly muttering back and you almost felt bad for calling him out so directly so you laughed a bit to ease the tension, just as awkward considering you weren’t used to extended social interaction this late at night. “He had a concert he couldn’t miss.. asked me to take over.”
You were nodding softly, mouth parting in understanding and awkwardly shuffling while the conversation quickly died into a weird silence. The sounds of your slippers against the tiled floor was scratchy and too loud for your taste, making you wince slightly at how embarrassing this whole interaction was.
“Are you getting paid?” You don’t know why you asked him another question, why you were carrying on a conversation when it’d been years since you’d had one randomly like this but you liked the way his big eyes flickered back up to you.
“Yeah of course.” He was breaking out into a wide grin at the mention of it, finishing scanning your snacks and looking at the register for a second like he’d forgotten what to do next. “I’m normally up all night anyways so I don’t mind much.”
This piqued your interest but you kept your face neutral, nodding softly and picking at the peeling leather of your wallet while you waited for him to give you your total. He was looking up at you again before he spoke and his eyes landed on your hat for a second, still smiling softly as he looked at the knitted bunny ears.
You cleared your throat and he stopped staring, stammering out how much it had cost you and you slid a few bills over to him while watching the way he fumbled around trying to get the register to open.
“Well… have a good night then.” You were mumbling to him while grabbing the plastic bags he was handing you over the clear divider, your fingers brushing against his warm knuckles for a second. “Not Jake.”
“Goodnight.” He was casually saying back and you wanted to correct him on his wording and tell him you didn’t sleep much either, tell him you understood filling your nights with mindless task and the dark circles under his big eyes. Instead you just bit the inside of your cheek and turned to leave. “Have fun wandering.”
——
You’d left early the next night, starting your walk around midnight instead of the usual 3am and you hurried down to the bus stop that would take you deep into the city. You pulled your headphones on tight and chewed on your lip as you waited for the stop you were planning to get off at.
When you got there, you were tugging on the stop signal line and standing up before the driver pulled the brakes. You swayed slightly when he came to a complete stop and you thanked him as you hopped off the high step, speed walking towards your destination and adjusting your bunny hat on your head before you passed through the doors.
The loud chime of the stores entrance bell rang uncomfortably loud through your ears and you winced at the volume, ducking behind one of the tall shelves and grabbing a few snacks at random before making your way over to the register.
Jake was there again now, giving you that familiar greeting smile and you couldn’t help but feel a small wave of disappointment. You weren’t sure why you thought the boy from last night would be back again considering he’d clearly told you he was just filling in for his friend but you frowned slightly and mumbled a greeting to the boy in front of you instead.
“You’re here early.” Jake was starting and you almost sighed. He was friendly and you admired how much energy he had but he often tried to engage in conversation with you whenever you came by, despite the annoyed glances you occasionally threw his way. “You almost missed me.”
You picked your head up at this, suddenly more alert and raising an eyebrow towards him in interest. As far as you knew, Jake was the only third shift worker and he must’ve barely started considering how early in the night it still was so he must’ve meant he was leaving before his usual time.
“Who’s going to watch the store then?” You were asking him and you tried to ignore how knowing the smile he was giving you was, laughing slightly at the fact you were suddenly interested in what he had to say for the first time ever.
“My best friend, Heeseung.” He was responding slowly and you faltered slightly, not knowing the boy from yesterday’s name so you didn’t want to get too excited over nothing. “He helped me out last night and said it was more interesting than he expected so he offered again.”
“He offered?” You were speaking before he even finished his last syllable and you flushed with embarrassment at the look he gave you, shuffling awkwardly on your feet and waiting for him to respond now that you confirmed it was the same person.
He didn’t say anything but he gave a soft hum of agreement and continued to swiftly bag your snacks, much more natural and efficient than his friend but you liked the way Heeseung stared at the register like it was an alien object. You were interested in him just from the small conversation you had, although feeling uncomfortable at the emotion considering it wasn’t something you usually felt.
You chalked it down to the fact he reminded you of yourself, not so much in his lazy smiles and casual demeanor but something about the way his tired eyes looked around.
Jake was opening his mouth again to speak and you looked up at him curiously but you both froze at the sound of the entrance bell ringing again, looking over to see the boy in question entering.
He froze when he saw the two of you staring at him, eyes falling to your hat and then down to your face which caused his to flicker with recognition. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, looking even taller now that he wasn’t standing behind the counter.
Heeseung was wearing a large hoodie pulled over his head and you could see the wires of his headphones going down into his shirt, tangled around his wrist that was clutching onto the strap of the backpack he was wearing. It was light looking and you weren’t sure if he had anything inside it or if he was just carrying it to give himself something to hold onto.
“Hey.” Jake was smiling at him and simultaneously handing you your plastic bag full of random snacks, hitting you with the reminder you had no real reason to stay in the store now despite the fact Heeseung had just arrived.
“Um.. thanks.” You were awkwardly muttering and taking it from him, shifting a few steps towards the door but stopping when you realized the tall boy was still standing in front of it and you had no way around him.
He was watching you still with a curious expression and you felt embarrassed suddenly, knowing Jake must have pieced together your reason for coming here so early and now he was watching you clam up and leave before you’d even gotten the chance to speak a word to the boy.
You were just standing there in silence, waiting for him to move and silently praying he would do you didn’t have to awkwardly shuffle around his large frame, when he suddenly was adjusting the backpack on his shoulders and clearing his throat while looking past you towards his friend.
“Change of plans. I’m busy tonight.” He was saying in a low determined voice and you could hear Jake sigh from behind you, your eyes widening slightly in confusion until the other boy was looking back at you with a small smile on his face. “Want to hang out with me?”
It took a few seconds for you to register he was actually asking you, staring up at him with an open mouth and stuttering for a moment before giving up on a verbal answer and nodding your head swiftly. He smiled even more at that and then he was waving goodbye to his friend, turning back around and holding the door open for you so you could quickly scurry out of it.
You weren’t too sure what to do, still feeling too nervous to speak clearly so you paused and waited to see if he would say something first. He didn’t but he lifted an eyebrow and gave you an expectant look, silently telling you that you were in charge of your destination for the night.
The pressure of a decision made you sigh softly and you gave him a weird look that made him chuckle, thinking for a moment before turning on your heel and walking away. He jogged slightly to catch up with you and you walked in comfortable silence for a few moments.
“Can I ask where we are going?” He was eventually mumbling, leaning down and towards you slightly so you could hear him at his low volume. Your lip curled up at the fact he was whispering for no reason.
“You don’t trust me?” You were asking him back and your teasing attitude seemed to catch him off guard for a second, raising his hands in mock defense and cocking an eyebrow in challenge.
“I do trust you actually, weirdly.” He paused and you could feel him looking sideways at you. You ignored his gaze and kept facing forward, following the sidewalk that was cutting through the park near the river. “Considering you don’t even know my name.”
You almost replied telling him that you did know his, that you’d been repeating it in your mind since Jake had informed you of it in the store but you figured that would be too forward and instead you just hummed softly. He didn’t ask you for your name, or even offer his and for some reason you had a feeling he already knew it.
Possibly asking Jake about you, an easy answer considering your unusual attire and late night arrival, and that being the reason behind the cashiers knowing smirk when you pushed through the glass door.
“Is this what you normally do?” He was talking again after a few more minutes of silent walking and this time, it was your turn to look at him from the side of your eye. “Walk around?”
“I don’t know.” You shrugged and you felt one of the bunny ears from your hat fall off your shoulder at the movement. You weren’t sure why you didn’t give him a straight forward answer, knowing perfectly well your usual routine.
It felt strange to be accompanied by somebody even though he wasn’t talking much, you could tell he was thinking and wanting to ask you things and as much as you were intrigued by him it was slightly unsettling you to be around somebody for this long.
You spent most your days isolated, not having anybody to talk to at home considering any attempt of conversation with your father usually ended poorly anyways, eventually giving up altogether unless he was grunting something to you every morning when you wandered back into the house.
At school it was relatively the same, or most times worse. You don’t think the other students necessarily meant to complete ice you out but nobody seemed to know how to talk to you after your mom died, at first being overly compassionate and eager to empathize with you vocally and then eventually fading off into small pitiful smiles when they met your tired eyes in the hallway or eyeing you when you came into class late with messy hair.
Heeseung didn’t seem to be giving you any of these looks, he looked confused by your behavior at times but it was accompanied by small smirks or friendly chuckles.
You once again wondered why he was awake right now, why he seemed like he was used to this setting as much as you and not like he was forcing himself to stay up for the sake of making a new friend. You were curious what he was thinking about and what lead him to ask you to hang out in the first place.
“Have you been to the coffee shop on 44th?” He was suddenly asking and breaking you from your train of thought, his voice still in a low whisper.
“Why are you being quiet?” You ignored his question and raised an eyebrow in his direction, tugging on your sleeve and watching the way he faltered slightly.
“Guess I’m not used to talking to somebody this late.” He was shrugging now and he almost looked embarrassed at your question, making you feel slightly guilty for making him uncomfortable.
It wasn’t that late yet, people were still wandering around from bars and late night dinners and you could hear the squeal of the bus brakes still running. The city was rarely ever dark, even in the parks near the bridge but the mood changed sometime around 4am and you felt like the trees were sleeping. Everything was still awake now however and Heeseung whispering was driving you a bit crazy.
“What about Jake?” You were asking him more now, trying to make conversation so he knew you didn’t mean any harm from your comment.
“Jake’s a freak of nature.” He was relaxing again at the mention of his friend, a smile naturally slipping back onto his face at the familiar topic. “You know he works this shift and still goes to school? He even plays football at Hope.”
The mention of your schools college made you freeze for a second, faltering in your step and causing him to look back at you with concern, turning his body so he could face you now that you were lagging behind him. He raised an eyebrow at you and you gave him a confused look.
“You guys go to Hope?” You were saying it slowly so he heard you clearly and his head cocked like a confused dog.
“I don’t, Jake is older than us.” His use of the word threw you off completely and he must’ve noticed because he let out an awkward laugh at your reaction, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “We’re in the same grade.”
“We like… as in me and you?” You rushed out and he nodded his head, hands coming up in panic when you let out a low groan of guilt.
“It’s okay, don’t worry! I didn’t recognize you at first either, it’s a big class.” He was rambling to try and make you feel better about the fact you didn’t even realize he was your classmate, his comfortable behavior suddenly making more sense. You’d definitely never spoken to him but the fact he’d seen you around such a familiar place would make more sense towards why he was so willingly to walk around with you in the middle of the night.
“I’ve been there since Kindergarten.” You blurted out with wide eyes, exclaiming loudly in pure shock that you’d been so oblivious.
“Me too..” He was awkwardly offering with a wince like he knew it would just make the situation worse that’d you’d been classmates for over a decade.
You raised your sweater covered hands up to your face and groaned loudly, pulling your bunny ears in front of your eyes so you didn’t have to look at his sheepish expression anymore. You could hear him laughing softly at how dramatic you were being and you moved one ear to the side to send him a half glare.
“It’s really okay.” He was laughing out and you could see his soft smile from your one uncovered eye, watching him with a flushed face and growing embarrassment the more amused he became. “It’s not like you’re there much anyways.”
He was saying it casually, like he hadn’t even thought about it before it came out of his mouth but you both froze up at the same time at his accidental admission. You slowly moved your ears to the side and raised an eyebrow at him, leaning your upper half forward slightly and trying not to smile at the fact he was now the one flushing in embarrassment.
“So you notice me?” You were dragging out the words and your lip curled up in amusement, racking through your mind for times you’d seen the tall boy and coming up blank. In your defense, your entire school catalogue section of your brain was completely empty and that included cute boys with giant backpacks.
“I mean… well it’s just like… it’s not like I was stalking you or anything.” He was rambling on and moving his hands around a lot like he was really trying to prove his point, going back to awkwardly scratching at his neck when you gave him a disbelieving look.
“Heeseung.” You cut him off and he paused for a second in surprise, making you realize you’d just said his name without ever asking him for it.
He seemed to relax at that, knowing you also knew more about him than you were previously letting on and his shoulders lowered now that he was less tensed. He looked like he wanted to speak again but you felt embarrassed suddenly and took a few steps forward slowly, waiting for him to get the memo that you wanted to continue on your walk.
The two of you fell back into another spout of silence, awkward at first and then more comfortable as you got deeper into the city. It was more relaxed accompanied by the sounds of people laughing and cars honking their horns, kitchen staff wishing each other goodnight as they left different restaurants and swapped signs over to closed.
You were glancing over at Heeseung after a while and you studied him for a moment while he wasn’t paying attention, his big eyes looking around the city with the same expression you assumed you often had. No matter how many times you came down here, you always felt the exact same.
You always had this longing to capture the moment in some sort of way, giving up on photographs and videos quickly into your new habit considering they simply never were able to fully express how it felt. You tried writing about it, talking about the city always felt awake and how it unsettled you in a way that felt like a friendly challenge and not like your world flipping upside down.
“Where do you go?” You were asking him before you even realized it, watching his side profile as his big eyes opened wide for a second at the sudden sound of your voice and then darted right to look at you.
He seemed to think for a second and then he answered slowly. “I don’t know actually. Just here I guess, I just like to be here I think.”
The two of you watched each other for a few beats, holding the others gaze and you liked the way the neon signs behind you were reflecting off his round dark eyes. It was like a little piece of the city was frozen inside them and you almost said that to him before swallowing it, realizing how creepy it would sound out loud.
You didn’t say much else for the rest of the night, wandering around a bit more before eventually settling at one of the small parks near the center of the main area of downtown. You sat in silence like that, you pulling out your notebook that had few words and many sketches and Heeseung playing with the strings of his headphones as he listened to music.
You could faintly hear it coming from them, loud enough to reach you a few feet away and you considered telling him he was able to play it out loud if he wanted to but for some reason you felt like it was private, leaving him to listen by himself.
When the night was slowly changing into that familiar blue color, the stage right in the center of night and day when everything is coated in the indigo filter, you were standing up off the ground and dusting off your pants. Heeseung was looking up at you due to your sudden movement and you stood over him, offering him a hand so you could pull him up.
It was mainly his own strength put into moving his weight forward considering he was a lot taller than you and you were quite weak due to your lack of sleep, but he seemed to appreciate the friendly gesture and gave you a small smile after he was back on his feet.
“What bus do you take?” He was asking you on your way back to the 7/11 and you felt him looking at the side of your face.
“15.” You answered slowly, your voice softer now as the exhaustion started to seep in. You were suddenly grateful it was a weekend, the social interaction leaving you more tired than normal and hopefully giving you the opportunity to sleep an hour or two. “You?”
“Same, but Jake is bringing me home with him today.” He was mumbling and nodded your head, picking at the skin around your nails and feeling more guilt at the fact you’d never seen him on the bus before either. “Did you want a ride home?”
His question was surprising you and your eyes widened, looking at him and seeing the concern pass over his face at your sudden change of demeanor. You were shaking your head quickly, ears swooshing around your head and you raised a hand to shake it, really emphasizing your denial.
You couldn’t imagine your fathers reaction to you being brought home by a car, especially one that contained two teenage boys in the front seat. It already took him long enough to stop punishing you for leaving at night, eventually giving up on denying you your freedom once you started to pace around the house all night instead.
“Alright, no problem.” He said quickly and you were glad he didn’t push the topic although you could tell he wanted to, a curious look on his features. Heeseung seemed to have a habit of clearly showcasing his emotions and you were grateful considering it made him easier to understand but frustrated when it was a look of pity or sympathy on his face.
You didn’t say anything when he continued to walk with you past the convenience store, walking side by side on the sidewalks even as they thinned out as you slightly left the city area.
He still didn’t speak again even when you both stood together and waited for the bus to arrive, him leaning against the plastic material covering the stops bench and you standing outside of it so the driver didn’t just blow right past you, not expecting somebody out this late.
It was you that finally turned towards him once you caught sight of the bus approaching, tugging on one of your ears awkwardly and shuffling your feet while you waited for it to get closer. You could hear it squealing to a stop, the doors creaking open while he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m…” His stare was throwing you off and you started to falter in your words while nervously looking behind you towards the driver who was waiting. “I’ll be here tomorrow around the same time so… if you wanted to.. or if like..”
You trailed off with a sigh but he seemed to get the general idea, a small smile on his face as he dipped his head down slightly in a conforming nod, relief washing over you at the fact he hadn’t found your indirect invitation weird or out of place. You raised your hand in a wave goodbye and he returned, watching you as you pulled your headphones over your hat and ears and boarded the bus swiftly, softly thanking the driver for waiting and finding a seat towards the back.
You could see him outside the window as you pulled off, still leaning against the booth and watching the bus as it left until it rounded the corner. You flushed at the fact he had walked you to your stop despite needing to return back to the city area to get a ride from Jake, not even hesitating when you passed by the store earlier.
It was exciting to be interested in somebody or even something at all, rarely feeling too extreme of emotions considering how dull and hazy everything became with your repeated exhausted routine. Not even your father, sprawled on the couch and surrounded by empty beer cans, could damper your mood as you entered your small house.
It took you a long time, hours staring at your ceiling with a half wandering mind but you eventually managed to get a little bit of sleep, thoughts of Heeseung and his wired headphones accompanying you.
——
The routine continued like this for awhile and you slowly got accustomed to it, now expecting to see him every time you boarded the bus and he was already there waiting for you with his large backpack saving you the seat beside him.
Sometimes you didn’t talk, walking in silence for hours or finding a nice place to sit and do your own individual activities side by side. Other nights you struck up small conversation, talking about the city and your favorite places to go and every once in a while delving into deeper categories that slowly chipped away at the uncomfortable feeling that always came along with attempting to trust somebody.
Heeseung was nice to you and you liked that about him as selfish as it sounded. He never expected you to answer his questions and he rarely pried, around the second day he had even started to pull out snacks from his backpack and hand them over to you after he opened them.
It was a bit into meeting now and he was walking you back to the bus stop, large hands tightly holding onto the straps of his backpack like they always were. He had lots of little habits like that and you carefully filed them all away in your memory. Sometimes he boarded the bus with you but others he just walked with you down there before leaning against the booth and waiting for you to round the corner.
Sometimes you wanted to ask him where he lived, he had to be further away from the city than you considering he was always on the bus before you at the start of the night but that would put him at even more of a distance from your school than you were already at.
Speaking of school, you’d yet to see him around the building and you surprised yourself by actually keeping an eye out throughout the day. You were scanning your tired eyes around the cafeteria and turning your dizzy head in classrooms to see if he was present but you’d not caught sight of him yet and you felt weird about asking where he was.
Maybe he didn’t want to be friends outside of the few hours of the night you spent together, time almost nonexistent here. You felt like the world was frozen most nights you spent with him around the city and you figured he must prefer that aspect versus actually interacting with you in the daytime where other people could see.
You were too distracted in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize your brain was auto-piloting and boarding onto the bus before you even checked if he was coming along, going to turn around to see and completely missing the first large step off the ground. You fell forward and you imagined your side would’ve painfully landed directed on the jagged edges of the steps but you didn’t get a chance to find out, suspending in mid air considering Heeseung had jolted forward to grab onto you.
You could feel his hand wrapped around your side, the other placed in the middle of your shoulder blades so he could support your weight without falling forward himself. Your eyes were wide from almost hurting yourself and you flushed bright red at the concerned look on his face, helping you back to a standing position but keeping his hand on your waist even after you were fully stable.
The bus driver was clearing his throat and Heeseung glanced behind him awkwardly like he was originally not meant to get on the bus, but he turned back towards you and took a step onto the same one you were standing on.
It didn’t pass by you that this was the closest you’d ever been to him, normally keeping a few feet between you when you found a place to sit for the night and rarely ever being close enough to bump shoulders while walking side by side. Now, since he was stood on the same small step as you, you were practically pushed up against him while his hand was still gently against your side despite not having a reason to hold onto you anymore.
He was leaning forward, his chest pressing against you more and you awkwardly looked down at his feet instead of focusing on how tall he was at this distance, and you vaguely registered the fact he was paying for both of your bus tickets.
He seemed to catch on to the fact you were out of it a bit and losing focus, his hand pushing into your side slightly to let you know it was time to fully enter the bus and find your seats. You expected him to let you go once you entered the thin aisle but he didn’t and even when he was stood behind you walking towards the back, he kept his hand around your waist like he was guiding you.
It was removed once you took your seats and you found yourself still able to feel it for some reason, the feeling burned into your mind as he awkwardly cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck again.
You glanced over at him and his nervous demeanor, his hands fidgeting with his ripped pants now like he was also still reeling from the feeling of touching you so randomly. His hair was messy like normal but it was getting longer now, falling forward into his eyes so you couldn’t quite see what his expression was. You watched him as he put his headphones in but you leaned forward slightly to confirm that he wasn’t actually playing any music.
“Did you have somewhere to be?” You were asking him softly and then repeating it louder when you realized his headphones might block out some of your volume.
He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and took the one closest to you out of his ear, wrapping it around the outside instead and thinking for a second before he gave you an answer.
“Not necessarily.” He was mumbling back but sighing softly when you gave him a disbelieving look. “Okay well kind of but I want to get you home first.”
“I barely tripped.” You were rolling your eyes at him being overly concerned but the flush in your face gave you away and he laughed softly.
“Maybe I just wanted to hang out with you a little bit longer.” He was shrugging and turning his head to look at you better, smiling more at the way you squeezed your shoulders together and awkwardly glared forward at the floor.
“We could always hang out in school.” You were offering after a few beats of silence and you immediately regretted it, not sure how it even managed to escape your lips considering you’d already told yourself you weren’t going to question him.
His initial reaction didn’t give anything away to you, face remaining blank like he hadn’t put much thought into it but you noticed his hands starting to pick at the tape wrapped around his headphone wire and you felt guilty for bringing it up. You were about to back track and tell him to forget about it or change the subject but he was humming softly.
“I think that’d be nice.” He was saying it casually but there was a nervous edge to his voice and your mouth was downturned slightly. “Where do you eat lunch at?”
“Near the side doors.” You were answering smoothly although you left out the fact you more so used the free half an hour for a quick nap instead of actually eating. “You?”
“The library.” He was saying it hesitantly like he wasn’t sure if he should lie or not, knowing full well there was a no eating policy in that section of the school and you’d realize he wasn’t actually eating at lunch either. You both paused for a second in heavy silence before you were snorting a laugh.
“So you’re a loser basically?” Your comment was teasing and he visibly relaxed at your reaction, chuckling softly and nudging you with his thin shoulder.
“Sorry to disappoint Ms. Popular.” He was retorting back and you were glad to see the small smile return to his face and stay there now that you’ve both established this change in routine.
You wondered if he’d been thinking about it too, keeping an eye out for you or if he was actively avoiding you throughout the hallways like you’d previously thought. Maybe he figured the same as you, that you wouldn’t want to be suddenly seen with him or you wouldn’t acknowledge him and it would ruin the friendship you were slowly building.
When you got off the bus it was nice to see him still there, trying not to wince at how close the stop was to your house and how if it didn’t pull off immediately he’d see you walk up to the overgrown grass with windows titled off their hinges.
You tried not to think about it and after you gave him a small wave through the window you turned on your heel and kept your face forward, steely in your resolve to not spare him another nervous glance. This time you father didn’t seem to be home and you were grateful for that considering you had a feeling you were absolutely radiating with how much you were thinking about the boy.
It was hard to go to sleep, even more so than normal, with the ghost of his hand pressed again you and the knowledge that tomorrow you now knew where to find him. It was up to the two of you to decide if you used this information or ignored it and you weren’t sure which route he was hoping you’d take.
——
“I thought you’d forgotten about me for a second there.” Heeseung’s low voice was hitting your ears the second you crossed into the library and you let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him.
You were worried for the first half of the day that it would be awkward, that you wouldn’t know what to say to each other and it would ruin everything you’d be enjoying so much, but you knew from the second he spoke that you’d made the right choice in coming to find him.
“I was about to give up.” You scowled at him and placed your bag down on the back of the chair, climbing up and sitting across from him at the high top round table in the back of the library. “You’re hard to track down.. plus the librarian kept glaring at me every time I passed her desk like I was trying to steal her books.”
“She’s probably just used to only seeing me.” He was explaining with a small smirk at your complaining and you frowned at him softly while taking a second to take him in.
You weren’t sure why you expected him to look different during the day time, feeling a bit stupid now that you looked at him and he looked exactly the same. Almost exactly, outside of how much more exhausted he looked now that he was running on even less sleep, his hair was messier than it was around 2am and he was nervously looking around.
Heeseung was always handsome to you, despite the fact you tried to pretend you didn’t think so the first few times you hung out, but you noticed things about him under the school lights that you had missed outside in the near dark.
For one, he had his eyebrow pierced. You’re not exactly sure how you managed to not notice that considering you were currently frozen to your seat as you saw it gleaming against the light when he turned his head to look at you in confusion.
He looked embarrassed at the fact you were staring at him so intensely and he brought a hand up to mess with his bangs, the face jewelry disappearing back behind his hair and showcasing why you failed to see it before. His hand had bandaids on a few of his fingers and you almost asked him about them until he tucked them back into his hoodie sleeves.
“You don’t eat?” He was clearing his throat and asking you in a low tone, leaning forward slightly to ensure that you could hear him.
You were shaking your head softly and then shrugging, almost becoming awkward enough to regret coming. “Foods no good here anyway.”
He watched you for a few seconds and you were curious what he was thinking, if he was making similar observations as you. You were suddenly reminded you couldn’t wear your bunny hat to school and it might be the first time he’s seen you without it, seen how dark your under eyes are and how dry and chapped your lips become this time of year.
You didn’t like that you thought about this, didn’t like that you cared about what he was thinking about your appearance.
“We could go get some food after school.” He was suggesting it with a shrug but his eyes were watching you intensely with a hint of hesitance, almost like he was expecting you to say no.
You felt like your breath caught for a few seconds, holding tightly in your chest and you hoped your eyes didn’t widen too much at his suggestion. He was still watching you but his eyes softened slightly at your surprised expression, amused that you seemed just as nervous as he was about this change of pacing.
“Are you paying?” You were eventually wheezing out after a few seconds, letting the words tumble out at the same time your big gulp of air did.
His smile was familiar, the same one he gave you when he caught you staring at him in the park for a sketch reference, the same one he would offer everytime you’d skip onto the bus and grin once you caught sight of him saving your seat. You thought it looked even better in the sunlight.
——
You tried not to think about how weird it was that you and Heeseung left school together, side by side and bumping into each other while navigating the hoard of students all trying to squeeze out of the doors to escape the building.
You wondered if anybody else thought it was weird, if anyone paid enough attention to you in recent years to wonder who the tall boy next to you was. The boy who was currently snaking a hand down to your side like he had at the bus, gently guiding you through a gap in the crowd so you could get outside faster than it would be to stand and wait.
Your face was flushing bright red but he luckily seemed to focused on getting out of the mass of people to realize, eyebrows furrowed in a stressed out expression.
He didn’t remove his hand even after you’d gotten out of the tight pile of bodies, keeping it there comfortably but you knew by the heavy silence that you both were aware it wasn’t anything normal for him to do. You almost couldn’t tell, almost convinced yourself this was his typical behavior and you’d somehow just not realized it, but when you caught his eye and he quickly looked away with a small pink to his cheeks you knew it wasn’t.
Little things were different during daytime hours but not enough to make your head completely spin, giving you that familiar overwhelmed feeling that left you taking deep breaths in the bathroom stall.
The bus was actually full of people for once, only one seat left in the middle of the aisle and Heeseung hurriedly sat you down on it before it was taken. He was standing above you holding onto the pole near the top of the ceiling and you would’ve felt bad he had to do that so you could sit if it wasn’t for the small glances and grins he was sending down your way every time he caught you staring.
When you reached further into the city, somewhere you didn’t fully recognize but he must’ve considering the was leaning forward towards you and tugging on the stop rope, you both thanked the driver and left the bus.
You tried not to be disappointed when he didn’t hold onto you again, silently cursing yourself for feeling that way anyways and pushing it down. You took your backpack off your shoulders as you walked and held it in front of you, fishing for something inside with an annoyed sigh after a few seconds passed without feeling it.
Eventually the familiar fabric was grazing your fingers and you smiled softly as you pulled out your hat and situated it over your head again, pulling a few pieces of hair out in the front and glancing over at Heeseung who had been watching you.
“Woah Y/N, when’d you get here?” He was mock gasping, a hand coming up to cover his mouth and stumble back on the sidewalk like you had surprised him.
You grumbled at his antics and elbowed him in the side, trying to pretend your heart didn’t pick up in pace when he laughed loudly at your reaction and grabbed onto your jacket so he didn’t go tumbling into the street from your small shove. He didn’t let go for a few seconds even after he was steadied, rubbing the materiel between his fingers before dropping it.
You wondered if he was always this touchy with people or if he had just grown comfortable with you fast considering the strange and slightly intimidate circumstances you’d been hanging out under.
He was walking side by side with you but you were following his lead, still not exactly sure where he was bringing you to. You fell back into a comfortable silence like you always did as you traversed the city and you felt a little bit dizzy due to exhaustion and the bright glare of the sun.
It only worsened when you were rounding a corner, passing by a large building that was originally blocking your view of the next street over, and you caught sight of a familiar back that caused you to freeze in your tracks.
Heeseung took a few steps forward before realizing you weren’t continuing and he turned back to look at you with a concerned expression, approaching you again and standing in front of you. His large frame was blocking your view now but you slowly leaned over to look past him and immediately shot back to hide behind his chest and wince.
“What’s wrong?” He was rushing out and his eyebrows were furrowed with worry, a hand coming up but stopping just short of your arm like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to touch you.
“I-I have to go.” You were rushing out and you felt embarrassed underneath your panic, hands shaking slightly and you swallowed harshly.
He was frowning and turning his body to look behind him and try to see whatever had spooked you, immediately whipping back around due to the fact him moving had allowed you to see the man again, this time facing your direction with a suspicious look on his face. You imagined it was due to the fact Heeseung was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk but your heart started to race so hard it was painful at the chance he had seen you.
“Who is that?” Heeseung was, thankfully, getting the idea slowly and lowering his face as he spoke to you. You didn’t answer immediately and he was bending down so he was closer to your face, his hand finally connecting to your arm and cupping the back of your elbow. “Y/N, who is that?”
“It’s my dad.” You whispered back in a harsh tone and you’re not sure why you said it, never talking about family or each others parents before and never planning to.
Heeseung paused for a second and then his eyes were darkening like he had figured something else out, you felt humiliated knowing he must be piecing together every strange reaction you’ve ever had to the suggestion of being brought home by Jake or for him to walk you to your door.
He was glancing behind him again and a small noise of protest slipped out of your mouth, your hands coming up to land on his chest and scrunch his hoodies fabric up in your hands. He was looking back at you quickly and his eyes softened at the scared expression on your face but could still see anger swimming in his.
You weren’t sure if Heeseung was a violent person, thinking there was no way it was possible for the boy who was as sweet to you as he was unprompted, to ever willingly harm somebody but you’d also never given him any reason to be mean or treat you poorly. You thought about his bandaged hands for a second and then immediately felt guilty for doing so.
“Let me take you home.” He was saying after a few seconds and you shook your head, too overwhelmed to think clearly for a second. “Baby, let me take you home.”
The pet name snapped you out of it and you looked up at him, feeling more and more humiliated by the second at the fact your eyes were watering and you were still anxiously bunching his hoodie in your hands.
“T-the bus is too slow, he’s just now leaving the liquor store but he has a car and by the time we walk back and get on and it makes all the stops it’ll be too late and-“ You were speaking a mile a minute and you felt his hand squeeze your arm before he cut you off.
“I’m parked around the corner.” He rushed out in an attempt to stop you so you could take a breath, freezing and furrowing your eyebrows in confusion when you registered what he was saying. He winced slightly at your reaction and a weird feeling passed through your chest. You were raising your hands off of his chest before slamming them back down against him in annoyance, ignoring the small pained sound he made.
“You idiot.” You spat out at him in a harsh whisper, shaking your head and glaring up at his guilty face. “You’ve had a car this entire time?”
He looked sheepish and you suddenly felt very stupid for somehow missing this, and then slightly flattered and embarrassed that he had been riding the bus with you every single day despite being parked in the opposite direction. It made sense now to you why he was sometimes hesitant to board, unlocking the knowledge that he had been riding it all the way back alone after you’d gotten off.
“Not the entire time.” He was trying to explain himself but you could tell he was lying slightly. “It was in the shop the first time we met, that’s why Jake drove me home.”
You sighed and glared at him again but you weren’t actually mad, just slightly upset that he had been inconveniencing himself this much for some reason you didn’t quite understand.
“I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.” He was offering an explanation before you even had a chance to ask him and your expression softened at the reasoning, hands flatting out against him in a silent apology for hitting him.
“You’re still an idiot.” You were mumbling but your voice held no malice and he smiled at the fact he was clearly forgiven. Things felt tensioned again now that the conversation died down and you were both suddenly reminded of the fact you were touching each other and standing nearly toe to toe. “I really do have to go.”
“And I really will take you.” He was whispering back with a stressed sincerity and you frowned from the guilt of both making him drive you and not eating together like you had planned.
Heeseung was guiding you back around the buildings corner slowly, backing you up and shuffling forward with you so you didn’t need to step out from behind his chest and risk being seen. You were pouting as you awkwardly walked backwards and it remained on your face even when you were able to face forward like normal and follow him to where he had parked his car.
His car looked pretty much exactly how you figured it would, low to the ground and chipping paint in different sections of it but it was very him and you laughed softly when you remembered how ridiculous it was that he’d had one this entire time.
He seemed embarrassed when you got into the passenger seat, looking into the backseat to check if it was messy and rearranging the different CD’s that were sitting on top of his center console. You moved them over to your lap and started to mess with them while he pulled off the curb.
“Basement, Title Fight,” You were humming softly while flipping through them and reading out the artist titles, ignoring the way he was sending you nervous side glances between looking at the road. “Elliot Smith.. is this what you’re always playing in your headphones?”
“Too cliche?” He was retorting back and you scrunched your nose when you looked up at his side profile, a small smirk playing on his lips at your amusement.
“The fact you even keep CD’s still is kind of cliche.” You were throwing back to him and he glanced at you to smile fully and shake his head, watching the way you were leaned against his car door and casually looking through his stuff for a second before going back to focusing on the road.
“You still like me even though I listen to scratched CD’s and drive a 2002 shit bucket?” He was responding and you both paused.
His wording didn’t miss you but you weren’t sure if it was intentional or not, also unable to tell if he was speaking in a platonic way or if he was genuinely asking you if you liked him romantically. His mouth was parting like he was trying to think of a way to backtrack and you cleared your throat before he could, leaning forward to push a CD into the radios slot.
He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you let the song play for a beat or two before you were leaning back into his torn leather seats and glancing at him again.
“Yeah.. I still like you.” Your voice was lower than it was before, barely filtering over the sound of the music building up but you knew he managed to catch it considering the way he was biting the inside of his cheek and avoiding looking in your direction for the rest of the ride.
He didn’t need to ask you for the way to your neighborhood considering he’s been riding past it 4 times a day but he glanced at you for help when you entered the street and you leaned forward to point towards your house. Your dads car wasn’t in the driveway and you breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled up near the curb.
You didn’t think too much about the state of disarray your home was in this time, for some reason not minding if he saw how messed up things were for you. The feeling had settled into your stomach that he wouldn’t care, that he wasn’t going to give you a sorry look or treat you differently.
He was surprising you by opening his door before you’d gotten out and you watched him round the hood with confusion, flushing when he came over to your side to open yours for you and hold it while you scrambled out. You leaned against the door once he had closed it behind you and he stood in front of you like he had on the sidewalk, his dirty sneakers pressing against the toe of yours.
“So…” You were dragging out the word and trailing off nervously, looking up at him through your eyelashes and thinking about how cute he looked peering down at you.
“So.” His lips were curling up in a smirk at your lack of words and you frowned at the expression, reaching up to pinch at his arm and keep it there when he let out a low chuckle. His hand was coming up to touch your bunny hat and you laughed softly at the way he pushed it behind your shoulder, almost like it was a piece of your hair.
“We shouldn’t be talking here.” You told him in a low voice, not wanting to speak any louder considering how close his face was getting to yours. “My dad would kill me if he saw you.”
“Right.�� He was nodding but he wasn’t taking a step back or making any move that indicated he was going to leave, just watching you and you could feel his arm tense underneath your touch. “Do you want me to go?”
You were shaking your head swiftly although you knew he needed to, you liked his company and you found yourself missing him every time you were away for too long. You somehow managed to have fun today despite the fact you’d almost had a panic attack upon seeing your dad and how awkward it had felt to search for him in the school.
“I should go.” He was sighing even though you had said you didn’t want him to, thinking logically despite obviously also not wanting to leave. He was leaning forward again and for a second you could feel his chest pushed up against yours before he swayed back like he hadn’t done it.
Your heart felt heavy at the fact he was going to leave you there, in such a rotten place that left you restless and miserable, but you were slightly humiliated by the large frown on your face. Before you could think about it, in an attempt to hide your expression, you were pulling him forward by his hoodie sleeve and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.
He hesitated for a few seconds, just from the surprise of the contact, and then he was slowly wrapping his long arms completely around you and keeping you pulled tightly to his chest. You could feel him take a deep breath, surrounded by his warmth and burying your face into the soft fabric of his oversized hoodie, listening to his heart beat increase slightly when you squeezed him for a second.
You were pulling back after a few seconds, leaning into the car again and you knew your face must’ve been flushed red with a dazed look in your eyes considering the way he faltered and smiled sheepishly at you.
“Well.. I have to go.” You were rushing out to him and he nodded, taking a step back so you were able to walk away without having to push past his large frame.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” His voice was lower than normal and carrying a slight rasp that made something flip around in your gut, trying not to look at him as you quickly waved and scurried away up your front path and into the doorway.
You stood there, back pressed against your front door now that it was closed, and took deep breaths to try and calm yourself down as you listened to his car pull off. A smile was building itself up on your face despite being slightly embarrassed over your bold move and you felt like a cloud of giddiness was following you around.
“So that’s what you sneak off to do every night?” Your entire body froze up in shock and you immediately stopped in place, bones going rigid and blood running cold at the sound of your fathers slurred voice coming from the living room.
Any sense or happiness or calm Heeseung had brought you was immediately disappearing and replaced with terror at the realization he was home, and had clearly seen you through the window before you came inside. You were stuck in silence and you could feel the dark tension radiating off of him although you couldn’t even see him yet.
“You’re out there embarrassing me, making a mess of our name.” He was hissing and you watched him rise from his arm chair and come out of the shadows like a fairytale monster, cowering in on yourself like you were a little girl again. “Whoring around with that delinquent.”
“N-no dad, I promise it isn’t like that I just-“ He was cutting you and your stutters off, slamming his hand down against the wall near your head and you closed your eyes in a wince, listening to the way the framed photos rattled on the wall.
A few seconds passed and you were holding your breath, waiting for him to continue to insult you and tell you what you had done wrong but when the tension continued to grow you realized he was more angry than you thought. You felt your hands hit the floor before you felt the pain in your cheek, not even realizing he had hit you for a few seconds because of the shock.
He’d hit you before but it was rare in recent years, not wanting to risk you showing up to school with a black eye or bruised cheek.
Your hand was coming up to cup the side of your face, shaking against your skin and feeling how hot and swollen it already was from his large calloused palm. You didn’t want to look at him and see his sneering face, instead staring forward at the way your bunny hat had flown off on impact and landed a few feet away on the floor.
“No more going out at night.” He was spitting the words down at you, curled into a ball against the wall on the floor and willingly away the pain under your palm. “I’ll put a padlock on your door if I have to.”
With that, he was staggering back into the darkness of the living room and you could hear the groan of the armchair under his weight. You sat there for a few more seconds, frozen and making sure it was clear for you to move before you were scurrying up the stairs and grabbing your hat as you passed by.
When you got to your room you threw it into the corner and collapsed onto your bed in a fit of sobs, burying your face deep into your pillow and crying so hard you thought you might just explode.
You felt even worse for the reason you were crying, not because you’d gotten caught or punished and not because your father was upset with you. You cried over the fear of not being able to see Heeseung anymore, the idea of never being able to safely return to the city at night causing you such distress you continued to sob until your throat was sore and your chest ached.
The sun was setting eventually and your room was darkening, never having the light switch turned on and just letting the night take over every single day, but you failed to notice considering how burrowed under the covers in your own misery you were.
You didn’t mean to care about somebody this deeply, having sworn against it after your mother passed and you were left with a shell of a man, your father becoming half the person he was with grief and never bothering to heal himself for your sake. You’d spent recent years tiptoeing around the house and trying to show as little evidence as possible that you existed, part of the reason he didn’t fully mind you disappearing at night or sleeping all day.
You felt stupid but getting caught with Heeseung after so narrowly escaping your father in the city, completely letting your guard down and being foolish because of your feelings.
But the other part of you didn’t care, you deserved to be giddy and act stupid because you liked somebody and his reaction wasn’t your fault.
Thinking of Heeseung made you remember he’d probably be waiting for you tonight and you started to cry harder again. You were worried he’d over think about your intimacy and small confession today and mistake you not showing up to the bus stop as you rejecting him, retreating back into yourself and leaving him alone like he had been before your night time meetings.
You must’ve dozed off from crying and the stress of the day, only waking up with dry skin and swollen eyes when you started to register a faint repeated noise.
You were sitting up with a puffy pout and looking around in a dazed confusion, at first because you couldn’t identify it and then even more so because you realized it was coming from your window. You staggered out of bed to open it and stop the noise and you let out a gasp, ducking and just barely missing being hit by a small stone that flew into your room.
“Fuck.” A voice down below was whispering and you glanced down to see Heeseung stood at the side of your house with his hoodie pulled up over his head. “Did I hit you? I’m sorry.”
You felt panic grow in your chest at the sight of him although you were happy to see that you had a chance to explain what had happened, glancing behind you in fear before turning again to glare at him from the second floor.
“You can’t be here.” You hissed out and he gave you a guilty look, like he knew you were going to say that but couldn’t help himself anyways. You let out a small sigh and you eyes softened at his expression. “I told you he was going to kill me.”
You didn’t need to say it for him to understand that your dad must’ve been home and you saw his face darken again like it had earlier, feeling thankful that you were too high up and it was too dark for him to see the bruise that must have been forming on your face now.
“Is he awake?” He was whispering back after a few seconds and you paused at his unexpected question.
He didn’t say anything when you held up a finger to indicate you’d be back, tiptoeing back to the other side of your room and cracking open the door. You held your breath so you could hear every noise clearly and you waited until the sound of his snores filtered up the stairs to you, confirming he had drank himself unconscious again and was out for the night. You still didn’t want to risk sneaking out and having him wake up and you walked back to your window with a heavy heart.
“He’s out but-“ You were starting to explain you couldn’t come along when Heeseung was nodding and walking towards the front of your house, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you called his name softly. He turned back to look at you and you raised your hands in bewilderment. “What are you doing?”
“Let me in.” He whisper yelled back and gave you a look like it was an obvious thing for you to do, smiling slightly when your astonished face only deepened.
You were groaning when he disappeared around the side of the house and you left your room before you had a chance to think about it more, sneaking down the stairs as silently as possibly and trying not to let out a breath when you passed by the entrance to the living room.
It was strange to see Heeseung on your porch when you cracked open the front door, even stranger when he took a step inside your hallway and you took him in against the familiar setting. You hadn’t had somebody inside your house in years and you were thankful that he kept his gaze tightly on you and didn’t look around at the mess.
You brought a finger to your lips and indicated towards the living room where your dad was, a loud snore coming from him at that exact moment and causing you to jump where you stood. Heeseung was bringing a hand up to your arm in an attempt to calm you and he nodded in understanding that he needed to keep quiet.
When you took a step on the first stair you winced and glanced back at him, knowing his weight and tall frame would make it groan louder than normal.
Still, you took his hand in yours and let it hang behind you as you gently led him up the old wood and into the hallway that would lead to your bedroom. He still didn’t speak once you entered it and for a second you were worried he would ask you to turn the lights on, thankful when he finally took a deep breath and glanced around at your belongings.
“So this is where she returns to.” He was muttering under his breath and you felt a little embarrassed as he took in your room.
Not as embarrassed as you felt when he was looking back at you intensely, you figured he could see you better now that you were closer and illuminated by the moonlight shining in from your window but you knew you were correct when his eyes were hardening again suddenly. You winced slightly when his hands were coming up to cup your face, the right one just hovering and not connecting with the bruised and swollen skin.
“This was him?” He was whispering, his eyes filtering up to stare into yours and your stomach turned at how serious he sounded. You hadn’t seen him have this look in his eye before and it put you slightly on edge.
You were hesitantly nodding your head and you knew your eyes must have started watering judging by the fact his face softened and he gently caressed your uninjured cheek, shaking his head and bringing you over to sit down on your bed.
“I’m sorry.” He was whispering to you and leaning forward to connect your foreheads, watching you with a hurt look. It was reminiscent of the pitiful glance so many people have given you throughout your life but you knew it was different, he was different.
“It’s not your fault.” You were telling him and you truly meant it, your hand coming up to rest on his wrist and squeeze it softly.
“It is though. I should’ve dropped you off up the street where the bus stops, it was stupid.” He was muttering and you wanted to remind him that you’d pointed out your house and you’d been the one to tell him to stay, but you weren’t sure it was going to make much of a difference.
You thought about the fact he was inside of your house right now, only a few hours after you’d gotten punished for even being seen with him and you snorted a teary laugh at the irony of calling such a small act, such as earlier stupid.
“You make me stupid.” You were telling him and he smiled softly at your joking tone, knowing that you were completely serious.
“You scared me when you didn’t show up.” He was saying back and his tone was serious again, brushing back your hair that was normally hidden under your knitted hat. “I was about to tear the city apart looking for you before I thought about coming here first.”
You laughed slightly at the idea of somebody as kind as Heeseung raging through the city in search of you, pressing your head harder against his before leaning back a bit so you could take a deep breath and shake your head at him.
“You’re lucky I woke up before him.” Your tone was light and teasing but you both understood the heavy truth in the statement, his face dropping again.
He had failed to take you literally when you exclaimed about your father killing you but you didn’t blame him, not liking the guilt that coated his face again as he mirrored your deep breath.
“You couldn’t have known.” You were telling him in a gentle voice but he was still not looking at you, only picking up his head when your hand was brushing through his bangs. “Heeseung, it’s not your fault.”
He was nodding softly and chewing on his lip but you had a feeling he was only agreeing to make you feel better, still having that dark guilty look on his face. You sighed softly and glanced behind you at your small bed, scooting back a few inches before looking at him again.
He was giving you a soft and tired smile, clearly understanding what you were insinuating and you tried to not throw up from nerves when you were both moving around so you could lay down on your bed together. You’d been experiencing the most intimacy you’d had since you were a kid with him and your stomach was tight with anxiety.
Heeseung didn’t seem to think much of it, flopping back against your pillows and sucking in a deep relieved sigh. His one knee was bent upwards towards your ceiling and his left arm was sprawled across the rest of the bed, leaving you no choice but to lay on top of it. He was pulling you forward slightly by your shoulders so you could rest your head on his chest and you were slightly relieved to hear how fast it was beating, despite his calm demeanor.
“How’d we get here.” You were whispering after a bit of silence and you could feel his laughter before you heard it, his warm chest rumbling slightly with the sound
“I thought you looked cute standing up to two drunk assholes.” He mumbled back and you pinched his side slightly, draping your arm across his stomach. “You should’ve seen Jake’s face when I asked about you the next morning.”
“Probably the same expression he had when I ran into the store four hours early.” You felt embarrassed to be admitting it but you liked the way it made him laugh again, gently rubbing your shoulder over the shared fact you both had been interested in each other from the start.
You fell into silence again and after a moment you picked your head up again to look at him closer, still pressed against his side but rolling onto your stomach slightly so you could study his face. He was watching you with a curious expression and your hand come up to brush his bangs back, revealing his eyebrow piercing to you again.
He didn’t say anything when you pressed against it, rolling one of the balls between your fingers for a few seconds before rubbing along his eyebrow bone until you hit the bump of metal, but his eyes darkened slightly at your fascination and you faintly felt his hand slip down to your side and squeeze it.
“He called you a delinquent.” You were whispering to him with a small smirk, raising an eyebrow as you recounted what your father had said about him. “He’d probably lose his mind if he came in here right now.”
Heeseung didn’t seem to share your amusement about the subject considering how hard his face was as you talked about it, only his eyes staying soft as he looked over your features from such a close distance.
“I’d kill him.” He was mumbling back and you snickered for a second before realizing he wasn’t laughing, his face serious as he watched you for your reaction to what he was saying. You frowned slightly and laid your hands down on his chest, rubbing it for a second before shaking your head.
“Don’t say that.” You were muttering under your breath, following it with an awkward laugh at the sudden tension in the air.
“I’m serious.” He was saying back immediately and you looked back up at his eyes, frowning deeper since you knew he was telling the truth. A part of you felt strangely prideful about it, your stomach lighting up at the fact he was so protective over you and willingly to interfere if your father busted through the door.
The other part of you was slightly concerned with his sudden demeanor, only catching glimpses of it before and brushing it off considering how gentle and lighthearted he always was with you. You wondered if it was a good time to ask him about the bandages around his hands but you decided against it.
“Then what?” You surprised yourself by humoring his hypothetical situation for a second, watching the way his eyebrows jumped in surprise. “What happens after?”
“You can come with me.” He was saying it swiftly like it was something he’d considered before, eyes remaining serious despite the fact he was noticeably being more careful with his words.
You hummed softly at him, your hand moving from his chest to trail up his neck for a second before coming back to rest again. You didn’t think anything of the movement, just absentmindedly touching him and being fascinated by the feeling of somebody else’s skin other than yours, but you could tell by the way his eyes darkened that you had caught his attention.
“Would you come with me?” He was asking in a low voice, eyes tired and lazy as he peered down at you but very much focused in on your expression as he waited for your response.
You were watching him in return and you were sure he could feel your heart beating against his arm, rolling back around so you were laying on your side again and cuddled up against his side instead of laying on your stomach and directly facing him. You knew your face must’ve been flushed by now and it continued to redden as you thought of a response.
“Of course I would.” You mumbled back and it slightly scared you how much you found yourself meaning the words.
Now it was his turn to him, low and rumbling in his chest against the side of your face. You scooted closer to him instinctively and you felt his hand gently squeeze against your side when he realized you were moving again, your shirt riding up slightly as you shifted so now his skin was pressed against yours.
You were glancing up at him at the feeling of him touching you and you awkwardly looked away when you realized he was already staring, a hazy look in his dark eyes. Heeseung’s demeanor felt different tonight, or maybe it was just the intimate setting.
“C’mere.” He was rasping out the word and the syllables were slurring together, your heartbeat so heavy and loud that you almost didn’t hear him for a few seconds. You scooted up further on his chest so you could look at him, your upper half lifted slightly so your face was hovering over his and he could bring a hand up to cup your uninjured cheek again.
“We can run away together.” He was muttering now that you were close to each others faces again, his big hand nearly covering the entire side of yours and you smiled softly at his statement. He looked slightly serious still but you saw the corner of his lip quirk up and you ducked your head in embarrassment. “I’d take care of you.”
“Oh, would you now?” Your voice was teasing and you raised your eyebrows at him, biting your lip to try and stop the big smile on your face from spreading. You let your arms shift forward again to rest on his chest and you could feel his collarbones under your palm.
He was nodding but not speaking again, watching you intensely and you felt your smile drop slightly at the look on his face. You’d been with a boy before, not all the way and nothing serious but you wouldn’t consider yourself necessarily unexperienced. Still, you’d never felt so tensioned and attracted to somebody before like you did with Heeseung and he hadn’t even tried to kiss you before.
His demeanor, confident but not ever cocky and sometimes sheepish like he acted on impulse, was the most attractive part of him to you and being in such close proximity didn’t help.
“Could you take care of me now?” You weren’t sure what pushed you to whisper the words out to him, hesitant and slow but being said nonetheless and you watch his eyes flash with something unfamiliar for a moment.
Then Heeseung was leaning forward off your pillows, his hand that was cupping your face being used to bring you forward so you could meet him halfway into a slow kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. You could feel his heart beating underneath your chest as you scooted forward more to completely lay on top of him and kiss him deeper.
You were overwhelmed by how perfect it felt to be kissing him, how warm and familiar the feeling of him underneath you was and you sucked in a small breath when he pulled back for a second before surging forward again to kiss him more.
If he was surprised by this he didn’t show it, his hand pushing up more so your shirt would ride up on your stomach and he could feel more of your side under his hand. You knew he felt the shiver wrack through you, the goosebumps on your skin at the feeling of the callousness of his and he chuckled softly into the kiss that was getting heavier with every passing second.
You could feel Heeseung biting down on your lip, almost painfully, and you were reminded of that dark expression he sometimes got. He was immediately licking over the skin he had bitten, soothing it out with his tongue and you made an embarrassing noise when he was suddenly slipping it into your mouth.
“Calm down.” He was pulling back a few centimeters to whisper to you, his voice breathy and carrying a small chuckle as he teased you for your reaction.
“I can’t.” You responded honestly, shaking your head softly and leaning in again to peck his lips quickly. Kissing him was addicting and you felt like your head was spinning from the way he was gently rubbing up and down your side so slowly.
He was laughing loudly at your response and your heart clenched affectionately at the sound, immediately followed by the reminder he wasn’t supposed to be here. You glanced over at your door nervously and when you looked back at him again he was frowning and following your line of vision, seemingly also snapping back to reality.
“I should probably go.” He was muttering and your stomach dropped painfully although you knew he was right, it wasn’t smart to get in trouble more.
“I won’t be able to come out at night for awhile.” You were telling him and your voice sounded saddened and panicked, bunching up his hoodie in your fist again like you had earlier when your anxiety picked up.
“Doesn’t matter.” He was shaking his head and petting your hair softly, raising his eyebrows to really exaggerate the fact that he meant what he was saying. “Find me at school tomorrow and we can figure something out okay? He can’t stop me from seeing you.”
You watched him in silence for a few seconds before you were leaning in to kiss him harshly again, completely drinking him in and savoring the feeling of him pressed against you in case it was the last time you got to have him like this. His hands were sliding back into your hair, keeping you tight into the kiss and moving against you just as desperately.
You felt overwhelmed at his sincere words, never having somebody so adamant on being around you, being so protective over you that he was willingly to risk his own safety just to have a conversation with you.
“You’re crazy.” You were gasping out when you pulled back for air, laughing at the way he was pressing more swift kisses against your lips as you tried to talk.
“You make me crazy.” He was slightly altering and repeating the phrase you had said to him earlier, a smile coming back onto his face now that you clearly felt better about the situation.
It took you a while to get off of him, even longer for you to actually leave your room considering the way he kept shaking his hands around your waist to pull you back in to kiss again. At one point he had you pressed against your bedroom door and you tried not to think how tensioned it felt to kiss standing up like this, letting him lean you against the old wood and explore your mouth with a heavy sense of longing and desire.
You were eventually take control of the never ending situation and pushing him out of your door with a final kiss, watching him smile at you and walk slowly down your stairs. He had suggested you stay up in your room in case the door closing woke up your father and he came looking for you, better to find you upstairs versus suspiciously in the front hallway.
You followed Heeseung’s frame, craning your neck outside the window to be able to see parts of your front lawn, and watching as he tugged his hoodie back over his head and walked a few houses down to where he had parked his car.
He was looking back at your window before he got in and the two of you watched each other for a few beats before you were raising your hand in a shy wave, smiling at the way he returned it before getting inside his car and pulling off slowly.
——
You were getting stares as you rushed through the school halls, your peers not used to seeing you so alert at all throughout the day but especially so early in the morning. You’d only slept for an hour or two but you felt energized at the idea of seeing Heeseung again as you searched for him.
The search stopped short when you were suddenly smacking into somebody rounding the corner, clearly not expecting to encounter somebody moving at the speed you were.
You both flew back from the impact and you landed on your butt a bit away from the boy, glancing up swiftly to see it was somebody you recognized, a friend from middle school who had slowly stopped talking to you after your mother died.
“Shit, I’m sorry Sunoo.” You were stuttering slightly and you suddenly remembered that conversation didn’t come easily to you, forgetting this fact considering you only ever spoke to Heeseung. “I was just-“
“Looking for Lee Heeseung?” He was cutting you off and you paused in your explanation to stare at him, his tone more judging than you remember ever hearing it. “What are you doing hanging around with him Y/N?”
He was standing back to his full height and offering you a hand but after faltering for a few seconds you paused, scoffing under your breath and standing without taking it. Once you were off the ground you were glaring at him, not liking the heavy glance he was sending your way.
“What does it matter to you?” You normally wouldn’t be so confrontational but it upset you how concerned he seemed to be despite completely ditching you alongside the rest of your friend group while you were grieving.
He had no place to judge you or who you decided to hang out with, although it confused you how worried he seemed to be about Heeseung. You weren’t sure how he even knew about the boy considering you didn’t recall ever seeing him around school or your old friends before your run in at the convenience store.
“He’s dangerous Y/N.” He was spitting the words at you but you could tell you weren’t the reason for his anger, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked at you like he was confused if you truly didn’t understand the reason for his worry.
“What are you talking about?” You were looking at him in bewilderment and you felt your heart start to beat slightly at the fact he was clearly implying something had happened with the boy you’d spent so much time with recently. You were suddenly reminded that you didn’t know much about him, never talking about family life or what he did outside of being with you.
“Why don’t you ask him?” Sunoo was sighing and you were confused at his sudden dismissal until you realized his eyes were going past your shoulder now, turning your head and seeing the boy in question standing a few feet away and watching the two of you interact.
Heeseung didn’t look dangerous to you, especially in the way he was clutching the straps of his backpack and carrying a nervous expression. His eyes softened slightly when he saw you but he must’ve registered the worried look on your face because he was suddenly turning in place and going back down the hallway the way he came.
You sighed when he pushed out the side doors, turning back to glare at Sunoo quickly before hurriedly following after the tall boy and rushing back down past the lockers.
“Heeseung.” You were calling his name once you pushed through the double doors, the cold morning air hitting your face swiftly and you winced a bit. “Hee, stop.”
He paused at the sound of your voice and you saw him suck in a reluctant breath before he was turning around to face you. You caught up to him quickly and stopped a few inches in front of him, reaching up to grab his hoodie sleeve and trying not to be offended when he flinched away from your touch.
“What happened?” You were questioning him with slightly widened eyes, looking up at him and trying to read what his face was expressing. “Why are you running away from me?”
“What did he say to you?” His voice was hardened and he was staring daggers down at you, your face crumbling at the harsh expression that you’d never seen directed your way before.
“Nothing, he said nothing.” You were shaking your head quickly and he let out a disbelieving scoff, looking away from you and clenching his jaw in agitation. “Hee, I’m serious. He didn’t say anything, a bunch of none sense I didn’t even understand.”
He was glancing down at you again like he was trying to see if you were telling the truth or not, being met with your big wide eyes and sighing softly in guilt for being so quick to anger. His hand was coming up to touch your face and you leaned into it even though you were still feeling confused over what was happening.
You didn’t say anything when he was reaching down to grab your hand gently, leading you with him out towards the parking lot where you spotted his car parked near the back. You frowned softly behind his back but got into the passenger seat anyways and watched as he started it up but didn’t pull off.
The heat blaring created a small rattling noise and you could hear the song you’d put on before still playing faintly, flushing a bit at the realization he hadn’t changed the CD and was just letting it play on repeat.
“Are you scared of me?” He was suddenly asking and you glanced over at him from the passenger seat, seeing the way he was staring down at his hands as he picked at the skin around his fingers. His legs were spread so his knee was pressing against the middle console and you reached over to place your hand on it gently.
“Of course I’m not.” You were whispering back to him and shifting your body so you could completely face him, your eyes following along his side profile and frowning at how defeated he looked.
“Even if I told you I did something bad?” He was finally glancing at you and you felt sick at how vulnerable his eyes looked, shifting nervously over your face and you hoped your expression didn’t convey how nervous you suddenly felt. “That I hurt somebody really bad?”
You were watching him in silence and it felt like the air from the car got sucked out with his words, hinting towards something darker than you’d expected him to admit. You thought back to the expression he sometimes carried, the way he spoke about your father so casually and the worry on Sunoo’s face. You watched him while thinking of this and you thought about all the other things to.
How he was always so gentle and kind with you, warm and comforting and never doing anything to make you feel worried despite most your time with him being spent alone and late at night. You didn’t know every detail about his life but that didn’t make him seem dangerous to you, he felt familiar and safe and you instinctively squeezed his knee.
“Did they deserve it?” You were finally croaking out, settling on a response that you felt properly conveyed your stance on what he was saying.
You’d thought from the moment you met him that Heeseung was similar to you and you knew the reasons you couldn’t sleep, the demons that kept you up all night restless. You tried to imagine what his looked like and you figured if you were bigger and braver, maybe you’d tried to hurt yours back too.
He wasn’t saying anything for a few seconds, just looking at you like he hadn’t expected that response and you knew immediately it had been the right thing to say. His face was crumbling and he was biting his lip to stop it from trembling, ducking his head forward to nod as an answer to your question.
You were leaning forward over the middle console to pull him in for a hug, not caring about the way the plastic pressed into your stomach uncomfortably or the burn your arms felt from stretching so far to embrace him. He’d help you more than once, brought you back from a dangerous place and a low state of mind and your heart tugged at the sight of him showing that same vulnerability now.
“It’s not your fault.” You were whispering into his hoodie and his arms were snaking around your middle, a small surprised noise slipping from your mouth when he was tugging you over the console and situating you in his lap. He was burying his head deep into your neck and your hand was coming up to rest on the back of his head, his hoodie fabric under your palm.
You didn’t need to hear the full story, you didn’t need for him to painfully recount the details or what had happened for him to do something so drastic and you didn’t need to know who.
Him softly crying into your neck and clutching onto you like a scared child was all you needed to believe him, to understand that whatever rumor or perspective others such as Sunoo had, was wrong.
He was picking his head up to look at you and your heart broke at his red face, tears streaming down his cheeks and a frustration expression coating his features like he was mad at himself for showcasing how upset he was. He was suddenly pressed against you in a kiss and you hesitated for a second in surprise before kissing him back.
You were pushing his hoodie off his head so you could put your hands through his shaggy hair, pulling him tighter against you and feeling the way his wet face was pressing onto yours.
“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.
Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.
“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.
“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”
It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.
“We can be crazy together.”
“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.
Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.
“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.
“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”
It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.
“We can be crazy together.”
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lsuyia · 2 months
Text
PERIOD SEX WITH SATORU
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basically gojo head cannons since they easy and i rlly needa come out with more ideas n shit. tysm for all the support on my fics you guys!!!
also lmk if i should actually make this into a full ass fic
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At first this man would TEASE the shit out of you for even thinking of doing it with him.
(i mean its gojo of course)
He would tease you to the point where at this point you wouldnt even want to do it anymore.
but when come home from work looking for him, hes already got the towel laid out and boxes of pads, tampons, you name it he had it on the bed
At first you were hesitant since the whole idea seemed kinda of nasty but since he wouldnt stop pestering you about it you decided to finally fufill your fantasy and try.
WHEN I TELL YOU THIS MAN IS GOING FUCKING HAM ON YOU
since your period makes you overly sensitive he was enjoying ever last whimper and moan you made.
“We should do this more often~” he says with a giggle slamming inside you— hitting your g spot with every damn thrust.
I mean at this point the towel was literally done for, gojo’s precum splattered around it with mixes of period blood and random ass stains.
He was enjoying this too much
THE AFTERCARE WAS CRAZYYY
usually after you two had sex or whatevs you would take a shower
but not this day😩
satoru is literally cleaning up after you, checking for any stains on the bed, changing the sheets, giving you a whole WARM BUBBLE BATH??!
that literally shows how much he cares for youu!
“You did so good f’me sweetheart.”
“You hungry?”
“wanna cuddle?”
he seems like the type to get you those big ass pads that go to your ass and you feel like people can see it.
“toru, i feel like my pad is showing can you check?” You said making a smooth turn around as you walked beside him walking inside the mall holding hands.
“no baby, its nothing there.” He said softly before giving you a small tap on your ass earning an annoyed look from you.
You would be like extra tired and he’ll be so excited for no reason asking you are you on your period just so he can fuck you again..
then when you say no he will have a fucking fit.
“are you sure?” he said rubbing your tummy while his growing erection pressed against your ass as you groaned in annoyance at how he was acting
but frfr satoru just loves you on your period❤️‍🩹
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A/N- YALL IM SO SORRY THIS WAS KINDA SHORT IM RLLY SLEEPLY BUT NEW FIC COMING OUT TMR OR THE DAY AFTER TMR
ILYALLLZ🔥🔥
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desideriumwriter · 7 months
Note
hi! i'd like to ask a one shot on fred weasley where the reader is a pureblood slytherin (introverted, stubborn, etc) and they're in a secret relationship. one day their differences lead them to having a huge argument where their pride gets the best of them and they insult each other (about their hogwarts houses stereotypes, their families, blood status) saying the worst things.
thank you <33
this is my first request ever and i’m so excited! im not rlly sure how i feel abt it but i do hope this fits what you wanted! (900 words)
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“I’m tired of us being a secret. I’m tired of being a secret.” Fred said as he closed the door behind him, locking you both in the potions classroom that was now abandoned and empty.
“What?” You scoffed.
“I can’t keep doing this. Hiding our relationship from everyone. Why can’t we just tell them?” He sighed.
“My family, they wouldn’t approve of it, you know that.” Your voice was small.
Your family’s views were strict and old fashioned. They were against wizards or witches and muggles being together, especially getting married and having children. They called anyone They saw and they’ve pushed those views on you ever since you were small.
It hurts to say but if they found out you were in a relationship with the type of person they weren’t fond of, someone like Fred Weasley. You’d be shamed and disowned in less than a minute.
“I don’t care what your family thinks! Why do you care so much about what they think?” Fred groaned. “We don’t have to tell them directly, we can tell other people, let your parents figure it out on their own. They can deal with it.”
“Fred. Our families are-”
“My family has said nothing but good things about you! Hell, George cares about you as much as I do! Yours can’t even return the favor.”
“What? You told your family about me?” Your face slightly dropped.
“Only George…” He trailed off.
“That wasn’t part of the deal.” You spat, the awkward look on Fred's face was wiped off and replaced with anger.
“Deal? What bloody deal? You’re making it sound like this is some bet you took.” He scoffed.
“No! You know what I mean, we promised not to tell anybody.”
“That’s what I’m tired of! How many more times do I have to say it?”
“Fred..don’t you know what they’ll say about me?”
“You won’t be the only one getting talked about. This isn’t just about you!” Fred rubbed his face with his hands. “I should’ve listened to George. He was right.” He mumbled to himself. Your face slowly dropped.
“What?” You spoke quietly, all the volume in your voice had been washed away.
“When I first told George about you, he seemed offended that I could be in love with someone like you.” He spat.
“Someone like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You were taken aback by his sudden change of tone.
“A slytherin. He didn’t think someone as bitter and stubborn and vile as you could love me.” His words stung like acid.
“And you’re not? Don’t you see how reckless and narrow-minded you can be with the things you do?”
The next few minutes were just the both of you taking stabs at each other. Insulting anything you could find one another. You both began to sound like broken records, repeating the same cruel things at each other.
“I’m choosing my own path in life, I’m not letting myself get pushed into something I don’t want to do.” At this point he was just spewing things out, biting back at you, you decided to do the same.
“You mean that little shop you want to open? With all your stupid trick candies? Have you even thought about how you’re going to get it, if you’ll even be allowed to sell things like that?”
“Well, it’s better than being like you and following in the footsteps of your mother.” He shook his head. You scoffed in disbelief.
“Don’t you dare compare me to her. You don’t know how hard it’s been for me. You don’t know what I’ve dealt with.”
“Oh of course, it must be so hard living in that giant mansion, getting everything you want handed on a silver plate.” He fake pouted and mocked a sad voice.
“I’ve worked for everything I have and I'm grateful for it. Have you ever?” He pointed a threatening finger at you.
“Working for it? By stealing and lying? At least I tell the truth.” You shot back.
“Then tell me why you refuse to let us be together in public.” Fred blurted out, you went silent.
“I’ve told you a million times, it’s my family-“
“No it isn’t! It isn’t about them anymore!” He shouted. “Are you embarrassed of me? You can’t be seen with a Weasley?”
“No! It’s not about you, it has nothing to do with you.” Your voice crackled, Fred only stepped back and sighed.
“I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this, Y/N.” He ran his hands through his hair.
“I love you.” You blurted out, eyes beginning to water, tears filling them up. Fred was already crying, his teardrops hitting his robes and the floor.
“If you truly do, then you don’t in a way that I can understand.” He sniffled and began to turn away, heading for the door.
“Please don’t go. We can fix this, alright?” You cried as you clinged onto his wrist.
“Either you can stop being afraid and walk out there with your hand in mine,” Fred’s voice was stern as he began to give you his ultimatum. “Or I can leave, alone. And we’ll choose to believe nothing has ever happened between us.”
He stood there quietly while you searched to find the words, hot tears began to stream down your face. Freds eyes were only red and puffy now, his cheeks tearstained.
“I don’t…I don’t know. I can’t.” Your voice crackled as you shook your head weakly, giving an answer that you weren’t even sure of. He nodded weakly and tucked in his lips.
“Alright.” His voice was small. Defeated. Fred looked down for a moment, then brought his head back up and sniffled.
Fred gave you a pained smile. Then left, he didn’t even dare to look at you one last time. Shutting the door quietly.
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hai7ani · 6 months
Text
nsfw mdni
in my econs class w the lecturer talking about subsidies and im here thinking about reader having some rough n rlly good sex w rindou after work and your clothes aren't even all the way off.... the top 4 buttons of his dress shirt r unbuttoned, pants still on w his belt unbuckled but still hanging onto the hoops n ur bra is off but the back of ur dress is unzipped, the top pulled down to your stomach and the hem is bunched up around your hips
neither of u are talking to each other, save for the moans and gasps and whimpers sounding from you both bouncing off the walls of ur shared bedroom -- just busy fucking and making each other cum again n again and you're arching ur back really prettily when he's got both hands on your hips, gripping ur flesh tight and he's kneeling in between your wide open legs. he's admiring the way ur tits r bouncing so prettily and rindou is fucking u really fast.... no breaks in between n you've got tears in ur eyes from the few previous bliss he's given u n when u open ur eyes u see him throwing his head back from the way you're spasming around his dick n it all just feels too good he can't help but moan so loud when u reach a hand down to rub on ur clit and u cum instantly from it. he's smirking stupidly down at u when u roll ur eyes back n ur sticky hands r gripping onto his arm for dear life. rindou simply bucks up into ur pussy harder n u yelp a little from the overstimulation
"baby..." its broken with gasps and rindou starts slowing down when he sees that u can't even speak properly, let alone open ur eyes. "you good?" he asks, brows furrowed a little when u don't reply instantly. he always does this... checking up on u as if he hadn't just cummed in ur pussy (no protection :0 he likes it raw) so many times n u grimace a little because it's all sticky and wet down there but u still nod ur head a little after regaining ur senses. and u realise that he's stopped moving now. "more..." u sigh with clouded and lustful albeit tired eyes blinking up at him softly, then suddenly moving ur hips a little to the front for more friction n he bites back a moan from the feeling. he was so close to cumming but he'd restrained himself out of worry for u
and he simply reaches a hand out to wipe the sweat away from ur forehead, brushing a few of ur stray hairs to the side and he leans down to press a sweet kiss on your temple. "you're tired." he states softly but u shake ur head. "i'm not... i'm okay. u haven't cummed yet." u wrap ur arms around his neck and he places both hands under ur bum, shifting ur body so that you're laying more comfortably on the bed though you whine in his ear when he pulls out n pulls up his pants. "i'm fine, babe. you're tired." rindou repeats, and you listen to him when he brings one of your sore legs up to kiss on ur ankle before sliding a rough n calloused yet so loving n gentle hand down your leg to massage your thigh. there's so many red finger marks on your flesh from how hard he's been gripping on them earlier and your heart can't help but soften at the sight of rindou leaning down again to press little kisses on the redness that's starting to bruise. "sorry, couldn't help it." he apologises softly and you reply by clamping ur legs shut and successfully trapping his head between ur thighs. u laugh loudly when he groans because he'd accidentally bumped his nose on ur clit from ur antics and its a little sticky now from cum..... "u're nasty, babe." he wipes it away w a palm before pressing down on both ur thighs to swiftly dive into ur pussy. he didn't even give u warning or a sign -- nothing. and he's lapping up ur juices, cleaning u up while u tug on his hair as u gasp. he groans when u mewl his name, "rin." it's tiny, it's desperate, and you cum again when he sucks on ur clit just right.
so much for you being tired, you think. and you smile giddily when he cums in his pants from eating u out because that is your husband right there -- putting urself before him, telling you he's fine n he doesn't mind not cumming that much, but u know otherwise when u saw the way he'd looked at u earlier w faint puppy eyes and u knew instantly what he wanted -- to cum in ur pussy just one more time, which is why u insisted that u can go another round but he said no n look where he's at now.... blushing into the sheets bc there's a big wet patch visible even on his black slacks that he'll have to clean by himself later bc you are not going to help him.
"it's all ur fault."
"okay baby."
"you're too pretty."
"okay baby..."
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i want rindou SO.mbad u gyysbdont get it.
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americantfootball · 3 months
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hiii im not sure if you take reqs and you can ignore this if you want but i rlly love how u write the proxies!! ^__^ may i req for hcs of them in a poly relationship with reader? like who fell first, how they came to terms with being poly and etc
thx anon ! sorry for getting to ur request so late. i'd love to write for this. hope u enjoy :,) this is a oneshot cause i didn't know how to start this one up i kinda just kept writinggg lol
----
ACCIDENTAL CONFESSION — proxies
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cw, } gn!reader (they and them prns used), drinking, a little suggestive, mention of murder, why choose?
summary , } going out to the bar for a quick drink was not supposed to lead to this...
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When you were first "chosen" as one of Slenderman's proxies, it was, undeniably, significantly overwhelming. Not only being introduced to one entity that you would be working for but several others that you were working and living with... yeah... a bit nerve-wracking.
Toby was incredibly welcoming, having been in the same situation as you when he arrived at the mansion for the first time. He undoubtedly found you attractive, but he would never willingly admit it. That was until...
The proxies were all tired and after one of their missions decided to visit the local bar for a quick drink. At this point, you were well acquainted with one another and the boys even felt comfortable taking their masks off around you when going into public spaces.
The dark sky was cloudy and the wind nipped aggressively at your skin as the four of you stepped into a small bar on the outskirts of a town in which you were unaware of the name.
Masky, or rather Tim, as he told you to call him in public, showed the group to a booth sitting in the back corner of the pub. Even through the blaring country music playing on an old jukebox, you could hear Toby grumble a soft complaint about the melodies playing from the machine, causing Hoodie, who told you to call him Brian, to send a glare toward Toby at the insult but ultimately say nothing. Hoodie-- Brian-- wasn't a man of many words, you found.
When you all finally found your seats at the booth that Tim had so gracefully picked out, he ordered a round of beers for all four of you.
Several rounds later, evidently, you and Toby were the only ones not drunk. Toby didn't like drinking-- he mentioned something about his father being an alcoholic-- and you knew you guys would need someone with a proper license and driving knowledge to be able to drive you all back to the cabin you were staying in when the time came to leave.
Tim pulled out a cigarette to smoke despite the 'no smoking' sign hanging near the front entrance of the building, but none of the employees nor the other patrons of the establishment seemed to care or even notice.
"It might be time to move on. It's getting late and we need to get up early tomorrow morning so we can make it back at a decent time," You reasoned, and Toby nodded, staring into your eyes intently as you spoke. Masky grumbled.
"Awww-- you're no fun," He slurred, setting down his half-drunken pint of beer and taking another drag of his cigarette. His eyes met yours, similar to Toby's. "Don't be such a saint. I'm sure you can have fun sometimes."
You caught yourself blushing at Tim's dumb innuendo, but you huffed and crossed your arms, avoiding eye contact.
"So cute when you pout. Wish you'd just be mine."
Everything seemed to pause for a split second when Tim spoke those words. Even Brian's drunken head seemed to move to the side to stare at his best friend when he let those words slip loose. Toby's jaw practically hit the table his elbows were resting on.
Through all of these reactions, Tim looked unbothered. He snuffed his cigarette out on the table and shrugged.
"What? Y'all are looking at me like I just murdered your grandma's dog."
"Do you really mean that, Tim?" You ask, overcome with confusion and desire to know if he was being honest.
"Do I take you as the type to bullshit?"
Everyone at the booth paused, at a loss for words. Tim was right-- he often said what he meant when he felt it-- even at the risk of other's feelings.
"M-Masky--" Toby babbled.
"Tim." He corrected.
"Y-You can't feel th-that way about th-them. Th-they're m-mine," Toby admits, making your mouth open with shock before Brian moves to speak.
"I feel the same way about them."
"Wait-- do you guys all like me-- like that?" You question, at an utter loss for words. All three of the boys nod in unison.
"Well-- who do you choose, angel?" Masky questions, all of the boys on the edge of their seats and eager to hear your most anticipated answer.
"Who says you can't share me?"
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444rockstargf · 1 month
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Hey i’ve never sent a request before and i’m a dumbass 😭 so feel free to ignore this if it’s not rlly your speed. Basically i just want some kinda hurt/comfort with Euronymous where he’s about to leave for a gig and the reader asks if he wants them to come and he tells them they should stay home and he’s doing it for her safety but she takes it as he’s embarrassed of her because she’s not like “Metal” and she has a breakdown while he’s gone about it and he comes back and sees her crying and comfort ensues (that’s prolly the dumbest thing that’s ever come out of my mouth i’m so sorry) anyway thank you so much!! No rush obviously i love your works so much and i’ve just been in need of this trope
thank you so much for the request, anon! my inbox is open to any other brilliant ideas that you want to share :))
"one for the money, two for the show." | euronymous
million dollar man. - lana del rey
✮⋆˙ [tags] @faesucksass @lustkillers @mayathepsychic1999 @josibunn @si1nful-symph0ny @vanlisbon @livingdead-reilly @oliviah-25 @lankysimp@auggiethecreator @livingdead-materialgirl @monkeyfart @imoonkiss @nom-nommmm1 @xxbl00d-cl0txx @k1ll3rh0rr0r @wildathevrt @randyssister @wild-rose-35
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female!reader x euronymous
word count: 1.1k
contents: a tiny bit of angst, mostly fluffy, soft euronymous
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“alright, baby. i’m heading out.” euronymous’ voice called out from the bedroom. he walked into the living room where you were sprawled out on the couch, eyes now wide with curiosity as he grabbed his van keys from the holder of the front door.
“where are you going, euro?” you clicked the pause button on the tv remote, stopping the program that was currently playing. euronymous pulled on his leather boots, meeting your eyes as he began fidgeting with his keys.
“i… im off to a gig, doll.” you stood up from the couch, clearing up your area and making your way upstairs. “okay, just give me a few minutes to get dressed. i promise i won’t take long.” as you went up the stairs, you felt his hand gently take yours from behind. you looked back at him, his expression more grave than before. “about that, i think it would be best if you sat this one out.” his words were soft but edged with finality.
your face fell and you looked down. “y-you don’t want me to come to your show..?” euronymous stammered. “i-i just don’t know if this is gonna be your scene, angel. this is gonna be an intense show, and with my friends and all…” his voice trailed off and you began to put things together.
his friends. the same ones who’d sneer whenever he’d show up at gigs with his arm around your waist, you two looking like the oddest pair to ever walk the street. you had to credit euronymous for acting like he didn’t care, but it surely had to bother him at least a little bit. but you’d been so inconsiderate, tagging along with him everywhere he went and not even thinking about how he felt about it.
it was all hitting you like a ton of bricks. he was embarrassed to be seen with you. and you couldn’t even blame him for it either. you looked down at your light grey oversized hoodie, pastel-coloured pajama shorts, and white knee-high socks. you’d make him look like a complete joke showing up to another show with him. tears pricked your eyes as the realization sunk in, much to euronymous’ dismay.
he snaked an arm around your waist, looking at your face. “what’s wrong, baby?” he used his thumbs to gently wipe a tear trickling down your face as he pulled you in, pressing your body into the cold leather jacket on his body. you shook your head, sniffling. “n-nothings wrong.” you walked him back down the stairs, taking him back to the front door as you forced your voice to speak as clearly as possible. “i’m just awfully tired, that’s all. have a great show…” you went on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.
he nodded, giving you a half smile as he opened the front door and walked out, shutting it behind him. then the floodgates broke open. you fell to your knees, starting to heave out sobs as you heard his van drive off. giant tears rolled down your cheeks as your mind flooded with all the times you had possibly embarrassed him or damaged his reputation. but he was so sweet and kind that he’d never even said a thing.
you began to spiral, making assumptions that were built on not a single drop of evidence. as the hours passed, you paced around the living room, thinking about the whole situation. you cried until your eyes were red and your lips were all puffy, making your way back to the couch and slumping onto it. you glanced at the clock, seeing that it had been 4 hours since he’d left.
whenever you were with him, you were out for a maximum of two hours, thanks to you and how quickly you’d get tired of all the buzz. he must have been having a blast, and you couldn’t stop the tears that cascaded down your face. minutes later, the front door unlocked and euronymous walked back inside holding a pastel pink box, skin glistening slightly with sweat. usually, you’d greet him at the door with a big hug but you wouldn’t dare do that right now.
he kicked off his boots walking into the living room and seeing your puffy crying face. his eyes widened and he put the box down on the coffee table, sitting down next to you. “oh my god, angel. are you alright? what happened? are you feeling sick, did someone come into the house?” you were bombarded by questions fueled by his concern, your guilt only growing more by the second.
you heaved out a heavy sigh, looking him right in his soft blue eyes. then you spoke, your voice coming out as a hoarse croak. “i’m sorry for embarrassing you, euro…” your words clearly surprised him, but you kept on talking. “i-i don’t want to force you to take me wherever you go. i just love being around you, b-but i understand if your friends don’t like me. i just don’t fit in with you...” you looked at the ground, twirling the drawstring of your hoodie as you felt his gaze on you. then without warning, both his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a tight hug. 
you froze, your heart hammering in your chest at this unexpected act of affection. you could feel his heavy breath against your neck, the sound of it stilling your nerves. after countless minutes he pulled away, hands resting on your shoulders as he looked at you with sad eyes. “my sweet, beautiful angel. i would never be embarrassed of you. i must be a damn awful boyfriend for making you think that in the first place.” he used his calloused fingers to wipe away your tears.
you took a good look at his face, finally noticing the several cuts on it that weren’t there before. you traced your finger along a long slit on his jaw, making him wince a little. he spoke, his voice even softer than before. “it was a really dangerous show tonight. there were glass bottles flying all over the place and fires everywhere. i thought of bringing you with me, but i just couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt out there.” 
you felt a wave of stupidity wash over you. so you had the wrong idea all along. euronymous chuckled slightly as your face lit up, picking up the pink box from the coffee table. “don’t you wanna know what’s in here?” he shook the box a little, making you fill with anticipation. he took off the lid, revealing a large slice of your favourite cake.
he brushed a few strands of hair away from his face. “i had to go all around town to find a bakery that was open at this hour. it took forever but here you go, baby.” your eyes welled with tears once more, but they were joyful instead of sorrowful. you wrapped your arms around his neck, peppering small kisses all over his face until he held your waist, connecting his lips to yours in a tender, heartfelt kiss.
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author's note: yall should never ever have any doubts when sending me requests. I'm always in love with absolutely everything i get sent! (that follow my guidelines ofc)
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itsmealaiah · 4 months
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so okay this might seem rlly weird but if u do fanfics then can u make like a tom kaulitz fanfic where tom has been really cold to "the reader" n then the reader wants to break up n then tom gets like rlly mad and upset and they have like rlly angry sx 🤗😭 if this is too weird or smt then its totally fine and sorry i didnt get into detail too much im not good with writing 😭😭 also love you 🤞
oh my goodness yes a million times yes
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You're not leaving me (tom kaulitz x fem reader)
2022 Tom x Fem Reader
Tags/ warnings: yelling, shattering of objects, threatening, slight blood/ cuts, unprotected intercourse, all the regular smut features, I'll try to cover every base bc I love this request 😘 🫶 😍
In this story, I'm absolutely not saying Tom Kaulitz is a bad person. This fanfiction is all my imagination and has nothing to do with how he actually acts and is in real life. Thank you, and enjoy.
also MDNI
Your POV:
It's been three weeks since Tom returned from tour, and he hasn't said but a couple words to me. I was growing more and more distant from him by the day, and I knew he was too. He was always working, rehearsing, or on tour. Truth was, I missed him. I missed him so much it hurt.
I tried talking to him so many times, to which he just blew me off, giving me no acknowledgment whatsoever, as if I'm invisible. And seeing him with all those girls at interviews made me feel even worse. I was growing tired of no affection, and was planning to end the relationship.
We've been together for two years, and I hated wasting what we had, but I needed someone who cared for my needs, who gave me love and all of them. I had been avoiding this, trying to find good in him but it became too much to bear at this point.
I gathered my confidence, and walked to his office where he sat, clearly tensed as he worked on music for the album. "Tom?" I asked, trying not to startle or annoy him. I shouldn't even have to do that, my reason for this attempt.
"What?" He shouted, getting up and walking over to where I stood, leaning on the door frame. Fear began to build up, and I felt helpless as his tall body was against me, angered already. "What could you possibly need?" He hissed.
He pushed me out of the office roughly, nearly throwing me into the living room. I stood my ground, firm. "I want to break up" I finally said, getting my worst fear of what could happen out of my system. I'm not going to be pushed around anymore. He neared me, huffing lowly.
"What?" He said, and I immediately regretted my decision, but it needed to be said. "I want to break up" I repeated, still holding my ground. "I heard you the first time" He yelled, and began to smash every memory we had built together, the picture frames, the little trinkets we had collected, shattered onto the ground within mere seconds.
I let him continue his rage, too afraid to move. I let him destroy everything, every solid core memory we had together because I was too fucking scared. "Weak" My head told me over, and over, and over, replaying like some sickness, corrupting my thoughts. He paused, and stopped, looking straight at me.
I didn't recognize this man at first, this man with hate, anger, pure, unfiltered anger in his deep brown eyes. I hadn't recognized him at all for the past three weeks, to be truthful to myself. I missed that man he was before tour, before all of this. I didn't know what happened, or if anything even happened at all.
Maybe he was just sick of me, sick of my constant bullshit. He picked up a vase and threw it straight at me, causing my skin to break and blood to slowly seep out. I felt it but didn't do anything, fear in my feeble, small body too strong to comprehend anything.
He looked at my arm, the red liquid making its way down the skin. He stopped in his mission of destruction and approached me again. I was too scared to form simple words, let alone full sentences.
"Go upstairs, now." He demanded. "I'll give you a few minutes to clean your wound but be ready. I want you stripped, bare." He pushed me in the direction of the stairs. I was paralyzed. "Move bitch! Now!" His hands were placed on my back, making me nearly fall over. I stumbled, but quickly regained my balance.
I walked up the stairs, the blood seeping out so much it made my head go fuzzy as I trudged up the final step. I made it to our bedroom, more likely his bedroom, and opened the door to the bathroom adjoined to the room.
I grabbed bandaids, and some cream for the cut, rubbing it in deep. "What did he say?" I tried my best to remember the words he roared at me before forcing me up here. "Something..bare?" I couldn't quite form proper thoughts, I had lost a good amount of blood.
"Stripped bare" My brain corrected, finally beginning to work again. I sighed and then my eyes widened in understanding. "Great" I muttered, cleaning the rest of the liquid off of my sore arm. I stepped into the dim-lit bedroom and began to undress.
I laid back on the bed, the cold air making its way to my skin. I heard the subtle sound of footsteps outside the room and the door clicking. I was looking up at the ceiling, trying with all of my might to not look at Tom. "You actually listened" His deep voice echoed throughout the room, seeming to bounce around.
He stepped onto the bed, hovering above my still-lying body. I was too afraid to move. His lips began to work on my neck, leaving marks. He was still fully clothed. His hands traveled down my skin, pulling me against him. A moan was beginning to build itself inside my throat, soon begging to be let out.
His lips were still at my neck, but his head rose slowly, lips hovering over mine. His breath was hot and ragged as he attacked my mouth, tongue fighting my own for dominance. His hands groped the sides of my head, and I was squirming underneath him. I moaned into his mouth, and I felt his lips curve into a smile.
"Good girl" He told me, pulling his shirt above his head. He again attacked my lips, tugging at them so hard they might've split and bled.
I whimpered loudly as his lips wrapped around my nipple. My back began to arch off the bed but his hands pushed me down roughly, and I gasped. "Stay still schlampe" He commanded as his tongue lapped around the bud. I nearly screamed, trying to hold my groans in.
He slipped his pants off, revealing his boxers. I whined and reached for him, trying to hold him close. "Be patient" He demanded, finally stripping out of the underwear. He held me down, hot breath fanning against my earlobe.
"Be good for me, and I'll let you come" He said, breath ragged. I gasped, and his head lifted from my ear. "Ready?" He asked, his length teasing my entrance. "Don- don't do that" I huffed, whimpering. "Do what? This?" He plunged into me and began pounding in and out, tears beginning to cloud my eyes.
I screamed in pleasure. His pace was frantic, the brutal thrusting making my back arch up off the bed. His hand began to rub between my folds, and my hips jerked up. "Such a good fucking toy" His voice was husky as he made me moan so loud the neighbors were probably going to complain.
He was looking up at me the entire time, sweat dripping down his forehead. I was panting, choked sobs left my throat, escaping through my parted lips."Please please stop" I cried out, as his pace was ruthless.
"You really think -fuck- I'm going to stop after what you did?" He groans, rocking me back and forth, the headboard slamming into the wall. My moans were getting more quiet, sobs overtaking them. I was too busy having my body drunk in pleasure to fully compute what the hell was actually happening.
He groaned and began to twitch inside me. "You almost there love?" He asked through a whimper. I nodded and began to feel the familiar knot build up. He released in me, juices coating my inner walls. I moaned and scratched his back as I came, thighs shaking after I did. "I'm not done yet" He grinned.
His fingers were pushing the liquids back in, making me sob. I was beginning to get overstimulated, which is what I could only guess he wanted. He rubbed my slick harshly, and I began to cry. The pain was quickly melting into pleasure as I shook. He looked up at my teary eyes, thrusting his fingers into me roughly.
"Tom!" I screeched, my second release coming hard and fast. He didn't stop, knowing I was close again. He never left me edged, always wanted me to reach the peak of pleasure, which was troubling me now.
"Stop!" I screamed again, his eyes widened and he pulled his fingers out. I was sobbing, my whole body shaking. "Oh love" He sighed, hugging me tightly. "Why did you ignore me before" I cried out, squeezing him. "I missed you" I sniffled into his chest. "I'm sorry schatzi, I just thought you didn't want to be with me anymore, which was kind of true"
He rubbed the back of my head calmingly. I soon fell asleep, wrapped up in his embrace. "Goodnight sweet girl" He tucked me in and nestled against me, eyes shutting and sleep taking over his body
a/n: i'm gonna try and two 2 writings a day now. next week i might only do one per day depending on schedules xx alaiah
also THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST LOVE YOUU ❤️ 😍 🫶 😘
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sourbinnie · 11 months
Note
Hi omg I just came across ur page, I loved your recent it was so cute & now I’m dying for more comfort Hyunjin.
Can I request reader being on her period so she’s rlly irritable and then Hyunjin comes home saying he has a stomach ache and she thinks he’s just joking around so she just ignores him but then later realizes he’s being serious when he doesn’t eat dinner n feels sick so she feels bad and takes care of him.
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title -> misinterpreted pair -> hyunjin x fem!reader genre -> hurt/comfort + fluff warnings -> mentions of periods + mentions of food + cursing a/n: yall i think im a sucker for hurt/comfort jinnie, thank you for you request! <3 it came out shorter than i expected but i still hope you like it ¡! :(
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as if the day couldn't get more annoying, periods happen. ok, it's not like i had a lot on my plate but there's no worse sensation than your uterus kicking you like you deserve it. it was painful, annoying and overall made me feel like complete garbage. i carried through work like i could, continuing with my day like i wasn't suffering every step of the way. getting home was a task too but i managed through it and decided to throw myself on the bed, trying every single position to see if it would make the pain go away. 
i know i wasn't the easiest to deal with when i was like this but i was hoping hyunjin would understand. 
speaking of him, he was just about to come in through the door every minute now and the things that i usually get ready for him, are not there. like i said, i hope he understands that it's not my best day and he can get them on his own. i know practice must've been a lot and i truly wish he would take care of himself better.
"(y/n)?" i hear my name being called out and i don't even have the strength to get up. feels like the weight is pulling me down again. i manage to do so in a few tries but everything still spins and hurts around me. "missed you baby." he says when he sees me and gives me a hug which i have to retract because of the tightness of it all. he looks at me confused which i have to explain.
"i'm on my period and everything sucks right now." i say calmly but dying on the inside. "i'm sorry if i'm gonna be a bitch to you at any moment but right now i just need to rest."
"oh, that's okay i actually had like a stomach ache through the whole day so i get it." and i just sigh 'cause i knew he was messing with me. he always likes to do that and even with the confused look on his face, i wouldn't fall for it at all. i decided to not linger on it and go to our room to get my sweet sleep as much as i wanted to stay and cuddle with my boyfriend, i knew it would only bring pain and uncomfortability.
✉ ✉ ✉ 
getting up and being met by the moon in the night sky was not my plan all along. hyunjin was by my side, he didn't even try to cuddle with me which i thanked for but he looked a little odd. i couldn't place my finger on what it was but i had to get up and make dinner before it was too late. as i tried to concentrate in the cooking and not the pain (again), i tried to place my finger around what was going on with my boyfriend. 
could it be that things didn't go well today? but he didn't look mad or sad. he also didn't say anything about the boys (usually there's one or two comments about felix). maybe he was just tired and didn't need me on top of his business and i was just panicking over nothing.
"babe?" he asked, snapping me out of my thoughts and there was definitely something going on. he looked pale but at the same time it looked like he had a run a marathon with all the sweat and i was starting to see things better. "oh no, jagi i love your cooking but i think i'll pass today."
i placed the dinner on the table and i looked at him. he never passed on my cooking so something 100% was off today and what did i miss? as i got close to him i tried to repeat our conversation today. my hand went directly to his forehead and as everything started to make sense with him burning up, i said.
"fuck you weren't lying, you truly had a stomach ache." i felt like crying right then and there. even if i felt terrible, i still would do anything to take care of hyunjin. it hurt that i put myself first when he was hurting just as much as me. i didn't want to cry though, this was my chance to make it better unless he hated me at this very moment and didn't want me to do anything and-
"you're thinking too much and yes i did or i still do. i don't know, everything's kinda of spinning and i think i might have a fever." he said and i immediately sat him down as i looked for the termometer. thinking of every remedy and healing technique i went through my entire life as i came back and made him open his mouth. 
"i'm sorry jinnie. i should've been more careful and paid more attention to your words." i said and he wanted to say something but i stopped him. "nuh uh no moving! also i'm gonna tell the boys you're not going tomorrow." that's when he also wanted to protest but i took the termometer out and checked. 
"so? do i have a fever?" he said and i nodded as he responded with a sigh. "i can't miss practice when we're learning a new choreo though, babe you know how it is".
"but you also can't practice if you're basically running a fever and feeling dizzy, what if you pass out?" i said and i could see that he was seeing my point. "just let me text chan and then i'll have all the time in the world for you."
"but what if you get sick too?" he pouted and i just smiled because even in the sickness of it all, he still cared about me. he really was the sweetest guy i've ever met.
"if i get sick, i get sick baby, there's nothing bad about it plus i get to spend time with my favorite person." i said laying him on my lap as i messed with his hair and caressed his cheek.
he eventually fell asleep and i just couldn't stop looking at him. i decided to slowly get up without disturbing him, then i would call work and tell them that i would be taking the day off to spend it with my loved one 'cause it's what he deserved.
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cupoftaae · 11 months
Note
HII i'd like to request prompt 11 "give me time, give us time" for kookiee? and if its ok id like to give u a small plot just in case you dont know how to work with this if thats okay 🥺
so the tiny tannie lil ol plot for this wuld be: jk being a bit of a workaholic (very much so.) and y/n is quite tired of it.. note that this is non!idol and married! :D they had a talk and a cool plot twist wuld be how y/n was actualy planning to surprise him abt being pregnant!!!GASPAND THEN KOOKIE NEVER NOTICED THE SYMPTOMS CUZ HES BEEN WORKING TOO MUCH!!! and like yeah she getzz rlly emotionsl
AND IF ITS OK CAN U GIVE LIKE AN AFTERMATH OF THIS? LIKE 1 OR 2 YEARS AWAY FROM THE ARGUMET? hope this isnt too much 😭
Hello!! oh my goodness this is so amazing, no one has given me a plot to write by, this is really cool and I hope that I do a good enough job portraying this for you! Thank you so much for sending this in <3
La La Land (JK drabble request)
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warnings- mentions of drinking, angst, mentions of pregnancy, swearing, couple fighting, fluff, kissing (nothing major) I think thats all?
enjoy <3
"I cant tell, is this a positive or negative?"
Your voice was shaky and frail, holding up the test to your phone camera, trying to show your friend.
"blurry, cant see, read the box y/n. instructions are there" Your friend sighed, in her defense, it was late, and you called her out of slumber- but only because you were totally hyped at the sudden realization that you were finally possibly pregnant.
You and Jungkook had not necessarily been trying, nor necessarily avoiding it.
You both wanted kids, but never really specified when. Considering the fact you have now been married for 2 years, and your relatives are up your ass about when it is that you will have a baby, even though its not their business at all.
You wanted this for you, and today might be the day you get what you wished for.
"You just took it, let it sit for a moment"
you nodded at your friends words as you placed the test onto the bathroom sink, moving your hands to rest on your hips as your teeth tugged at your bottom lip in thought.
"whats on your mind, hun?" she asked
"a lot..." you giggled, drawing your eyes back to her. "If I am, I just hope Kook is happy, thats all I want"
"mm his schedule is so busy"
"I know, work always comes first with him, thats why im nervous. Its not like he told me to take birth control or anything, and we have condoms he just refuses to use one" you snicker
She laughs, "well then yeah what did he expect?"
"but hes a head manager at the company he works at, hes spent so much time climbing the ladder to get there, what if this throws him in a loop?"
"y/n....girl...listen to me, he is partially responsible for this, so he needs to be accepting or I will personally come down there and make him accepting"
You laughed at your friend, thankful you had some humor relief out of all the tension.
"and listen, you are in your 30's, its not like you are 20 years old and unmarried, you know?"
"yeah...youre right...im gonna look now, I think its ready"
"okay"
You gently flipped over the test and held it close to your eyes, a faint blue plus sign appeared, making your heart thump so loud it was audible in your ears.
"holy shit, its positive!"
"its positive?" your friends voice shot up 3 octaves
"YES!!!" you jumped around, wishing jungkook was home right now to show him, instead bathing in the moment with your best friend.
"congratulations, y/n, oh my god im so happy for you!!!"
"thank you!" you wiped a few tears, gripping the test almost as if it wouldnt be real if you let it go. "oh jesus this is so....wow!"
"remember what I said, everything will be okay"
You nodded, taking a deep breath
"everything will be okay, yeah....your right."
-
Everything, in fact, was not alright.
It's been 2 weeks since that night you found out you were pregnant, and everytime you think you are ready to tell Jungkook, something happens.
"oh gotta go babe, they are calling me into work"
"too tired to talk tonight honey, i have to get up at 5am"
"not right now baby, maybe tomorrow?"
It never ended, he was in and out the front door constantly.
It was upsetting that the only time youve had to talk with him recently was when you both took a shower a few days ago.
"you look so tired" you frowned, pushing his hair back
"I know...I am"
"you need to sleep more" you kissed his chest, resting against it under the warm water.
He let out a soft laugh, "yeah...when is there time for rest?"
"its okay to take time off, you know? youre a manager, you have more control"
"I just need to prove to everyone that I am capable of handling the position" he insisted
"Obviously you are, they wouldnt-"
"y/n, just dont worry about it....okay?" he squeezed you softly, trying to change the subject and shutting you down, because you wouldnt get it
-
You wanted your husband, you wanted him more than anything, and this feeling only turned to anger as you sat with him at the dinner table one night.
You were now almost 2 months pregnant and still have not told him.
You planned a nice meal to eat, his favorite.
You cooked all the vegetables and spent hours slaving in the hot kitchen making sure everything was up to perfection for him, just for him to come home at 2am with no text in regard to him being late.
"its late, honey, im sorry, we can eat tomorrow"
You stood to your feet before he could leave the room, all of your dishes sitting on the stove, some now cold. "no, we are gonna eat now."
You know he smelled the food, and never did he once acknowledge the fact you made his favorite dish, or thank you for it.
His eyes widened, not used to hearing the sudden tone in your voice.
"please....please just sit" your voice cracked slightly as you watched him slowly walk back to the seat, sinking into it.
"are you mad at me?" he whispered, watching your back as you heated up the food into a plate for him.
"mad..?" you chuckle to yourself, trying to gather your thoughts.
"yeah, mad. are you?"
You took the food out of the microwave and handed it to him, sitting on the other end of the table and looking at him desperatley.
"jungkook...have you noticed anything...different?"
He smiled gently, confusion in his eyes, "what do you mean?"
Your expression softened from hopeful to dissapointment.
"you dont see...you dont feel like anything is different?"
"no?" he half smiled, looking around awkwardly.
You looked down at your plate, teary eyes overcoming you as you tried hard to prevent your breakdown- but its been a long time coming.
"wha-"
"jungkook!" you cry out desperately, leaving him shocked and confused at the odd behavior.
"baby why are you crying? whats going on? what is this?" he panicked
"You!! im crying because of you!!" you stood, covering your face as you felt the embarrassment fall over you.
"what did I do?" he got up and tried to come over to hold you, but you pushed him away.
He let you talk, not knowing how to respond to anything.
"you are never home, Jungkook. I fucking miss my husband, okay? I spent 4 hours in this kitchen, sick as hell, making your favorite dish and I dont get any type of thank you, instead you come home 3 hours late and decide its time to sleep, you reek of alcohol as well" you wipe you tears hastily.
He stood, looking at you as his eyes teared up
"I know work is important, I know it is, But I matter too Jungkook!! We are married, I am your WIFE! im not just the maid and chef here, you know?
"baby I never said any of that-"
"you treat me like one!!" you cry, pacing the room, "see, you still dont even notice anything do you?"
He looked helplessly, "Im sorry, honey, I really am, but I need work-"
"not this much!!" you looked at him sharply, "Ive been home alone these past few weeks, dealing with a certain situation ive been terrified to tell you about all by myself!"
"im here now, tell me! tell me! what is going on and how can I fix this?"
"I just want you, jungkook....One fucking day, one fucking dinner" you gesture to the table "When was the last time we even woke up together and cuddled, or had a fucking cup of coffee and talked? Months...MONTHS!"
"my angel im sorry ive been neglecting you, why didnt you say something to me sooner?"
"I was trying to understand, I was trying sooo hard to put myself in your shoes but damnit, jungkook, I cant hide it anymore" you sobbed, knowing how crazy you looked to him right now. "Its...its not fair!!"
He gently grabbed your arm, leading you towards him, his eyes searching deep into your own.
You sighed, trying to adjust your breathing, "g-give me time, give us time." you wrapped your arms around yourself and looked at him.
"us?"
You swallowed harshly, trying to steady your voice, "im pregnant, Jungkook. I found out weeks ago and since then youve left me home alone with not an ounce of time for me to tell you, which is now resulting in this"
He froze, his eyes softening at you as he tears up, "pregnant? baby..."
"yes!" you step back, "and...and you didnt even notice! I tried leaving clues, I left the test in your bedside nightstand and you never fucking saw it?"
"n-no baby...youre pregnant, oh my god, honey" he brought you back to him, a soft yet sad smile on his face
"Its been all me, im the only one who has to deal with it and its not fair. If you dont have time for me, how the hell are you gonna manage to parent our child?" you glared "I refuse to parent alone, this is a team effort, jungkook. Yes money is important, but I need you, I need you to stop being a manager first and my husband second"
He took a shaky breath, part of him scared to say the wrong thing, "I- I understand honey" he nodded, holding your hands as he cried "fuck- im so sorry" you let him pull you into a tight hug "Im so sorry holy shit...im such a fucking dumbass, how could I not know?" he ran his hand up and down your back, face hidden into your shoulder as you both cried.
"you need to understand, I am serious, things have to change!"
"they will! they will! I'll change right now I promise Im gonna be here for you, for both of you" his hands held your stomach, desperation in his voice "dont leave...." he whispered
"im not going to, jungkook. But you need to stop working so much, I cant do this by myself"
"you dont have to, im here for you, whatever you need, fuck I'll take the rest of the week off for you, just let me hold you" he squeezed you tighter
"I miss you so much" your voice was quiet
"I love you, im so sorry I never noticed, Im so dumb baby....I love you,I love you" he cupped your face and pressed a delicate kiss to your lips, forehead against yours, "thank you for all you do, im an ass for not recognizing any of it"
"I love you too....just please...do it for us...?"
He nods "anything....for you, i'll do fucking anything baby." he kisses you once more as you both gently sway in the kitchen. The tension of the argument still lingering in the air, thick and prominent.
This wasnt a fixed issue, more so a stepping stone to him proving his words.
If he wanted to be a dad, he needed to show you he was ready for it.
--
"he is crying again" you sigh, rubbing your eyes and sitting up to look at the baby monitor.
"I'll get him" jungkook immediately got up and walked down the hall, following the sad cries that led him to your baby's room.
"little man...its 4am...why the tears?"he frowned at his 3 month old who's arms flared around.
the first 2 months of Kaiylin being born, you kept him in your main bedroom at night but you wanted to test out how he would sleep on his own, and so far its not been good.
"you want mama, huh?" he picked him up, holding him close and gently bouncing his knees. He didnt smell, so it wasnt his diaper, and he had just been fed not too long ago, so it was easy for jungkook to know he just missed his mommy and daddy.
He slowly walked into the bedroom, you were about to fall asleep. "oh kai" you frown as your husband places him into the bed between you both, his body facing the smaller ones so he doesnt fall out or move around.
"aw baby" you rub his head softly, "its okay now, shh, shh"
Jungkook gives you an empathetic look, "I know you havent slept im sorry"
You shrug, "i'll nap tomorrow"
"I'll take him into my office, he can sit in his rocker while you nap"
You smile softly kissing your husband, "thanks, baby"
You had to admit, Jungkook has stepped up more than you assumed he would. Hes began to work from home, giving time for not only your little family, but especially you and him.
He has been such a help with everything, from watching Kai during the night, to cooking and cleaning for you, its been 100% teamwork since you gave birth and you couldnt thank him enough for it all,
Things were finally starting to even out and you could not have been happier, the man you married in the first place was returned back to you, in the form of a loving father.
"hes sleeping again, look" jungkook whispered
Your eyes darted to the newborn in between you and your husband, you slightly giggled, "poor thing"
"co-sleeping just works I guess" he smiled, leaning over to kiss you gently, "go back to sleep honey, ill watch him for a bit, its okay."
"I love you, thank you..." you looked at him
"I love you too sweetheart"
-
a/n- ahh! I really hope this is what you wanted, it was fun to write and follow the prompt. Thanks again for sending this in! -Nini
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lazywerebat · 1 year
Note
hi hi hello !! cld i request a lost boys fic or hcs (whichever u want) w a reader that gets scared rlly easily but also has a LOT of patience ? i feel like that'd be kinda fun !! also i love ur writing sm omg
Scaredy Cat With Patience !
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Polyam! Lost Boys x GN! Reader Who Gets Scared Easily But Has A Lot Of Patience
a/n; helo, thanks for request anon! i hope you rlly liked this fic! i tried writing in a new style :), hope thats okay! also thank you sm for loving my writing i rlly appreciate it :D! since you didn't specified what gender reader is i kept it gender neutral!
warnings; boys scaring reader not meant in like dangerous way more like in playful way idk :')
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Boys and me were doing our normal hang out routine. I finished preparing my outfit for tonight, I spent some time I had left to finish this project that Im working on. Looking at clock I noticed it reads; 20:30 PM, I decided to go to boardwalk to meet the guys. I opened my door as I was about to walk I heard some kind of tapping on my window, my attention went to window to see if I was right or wrong. It was nothing, so I decided to just go and meet the boys, next thing I know before I was screaming was fast footsteps and screech then laughing. My heart skipped beat for sure, trying to calm down from this I looked at Paul whose laughing his ass off.
“You should have seen your face babe!”
He chuckled, I looked at him with commotion of what the fuck and not surprised look. Paul went close to be pulling me into a hug, kissing me before saying,
“You alright doll?”
He questioned with worry as he heard your heartbeat beating loud,
“Im fine Paulie, don't worry.”
I said to him kissing him before pulling away from hug,
“Where are others?”
I asked him curiously looking behind him, he placed my face between his hands, making my attention on him and kissing my nose.
“On boardwalk, I came here to scare you before anyone could.”
“Then who tapped on my window?”
I asked with confusion, he looked at me with i dont know look, which made me more strike with fear. All of a sudden I felt someone grabbing me from behind spinning me around while I was screaming a lot. When it stopped I heard laughter from Paul and Marko. I rolled my eyes at their behaviour and ignoring them went outside while I was leaving I could hear them calling my name. We ended up going to their bikes, i rode with Marko and went to boardwalk. Once we got on boardwalk, they parked near others bikes with David and Dwayne nowhere to be around. Suddenly I felt something grabbing me so sudden which caused me to jump and scream from being scared. I saw David smiling and going to me wanting a kiss. Of course, I didn't rejected a kiss, then I felt someone kissing my neck and touching my waist causing me to gasp into Davids and mine kiss and jump too. For some reason they all loved scaring me, tired to asked them once why, they just said vampire stuff. I didn't really questioned it, they know I get scared easily but I have a lot of patience too. Sometimes them scaring me too far would make me lose that patience but it made them even more impressed and into it.
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neuvistar · 1 year
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MARYSE IM SONASORRY BUT MINOR SPOILERS IN THE BLUE LOCK MANGA !!
there was this one momeny where isagi was abt to be kicked by a particular guy and then he was kinda saved by chigiri, and bachira came n started cracking his knuckles n he was probs abt to beef w the dude cuzzz 😍😍 like he was like “if you wanna go, i’m down” LIKEEEE 😍😍😍 he’s soooo..
— 🍨
MINOR SPOILERS EVERYONE <33 oh my days. i’ve started the manga a few days ago n yk continued on from where i finished in the anime n now i’m very far into it LMFAO so so fast! i think i know what you mean, it was with shidou right?? I THINK I SAW THAT. I WAS FREAKING OUT HE WAS RLLY GETTIN READY LMFAOO <33 he’s so cute, he deserves a writing from me! here you go 🍨 anon, didnt even request for it but it’s fine i love my anons!
maryse from the future ^.^ — MY OTHER BELOVED ANONS I SQEAR ILL FINISH OTHER WORKS I SWEAR I APOLOGIZE
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FOR YOU AND YOU ONLY.
— featuring . meguru bachira x fem!reader
— warnings / content warnings . sfw. cringe warning cringe warning waha!! bachira bein there for you how sweet of him, a lil bit of she/her pronouns, perhaps reader is hinted to be a lil shorter in height, hints of violence but i promise it’s not that bad ૮꒰⸝⸝´ᜊ ˋ⸝⸝꒱ა, um kinda ooc maybe?? IDK i gave up halfway and this may be a lil short n terrible but oh well it’s ALRIGHT i’m tired overall sfw content, not much warnings woohoo !! tell me if I should add / missed a few things ໒꒰՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞꒱ა
ੈ‧₊˚ “i’ll be willing to do anything to protect you”
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✦ MEGURU . BACHIRA
frustrated. bachira was frustrated at the sound of chuckles and loud chattering from the men he was a few feet across from, gosh.. do they have to be this loud? it was just a few minutes after his game ended, he was exhausted and these two people weren’t helping at all, he grew more frustrated by the second. he glanced at the two for a good two minutes, cocking a brow. now hang on.. those were the guys that were speaking ill about you!
“the lady that gave him the bottled water? she’s his girlfriend?! quite the taste meguru bachira has.”
“nuh uh quit lying to yourself, she doesn’t look too pleasing. if anything, i’ve seen better looking women. see now, i don’t even know why bachira picked someone unattractive like her, i thought he’d have a better taste when it comes to women.”
“well it appears he doesn’t”
bachira’s heart dropped to his stomach, just what the hell were they on about? he bit the inside of his cheek, running his fingers through his hair before crossing his arms clearly upset at what the two guys had to say about you. he was getting even more and more frustrated by the second, who are they to tell him if his partner looks attractive or not, that isn’t their decision to make! fuck.. he couldn’t take it anymore. bachira stood up, making his way over to the two boys talking ill about you. “ahem.” the duo looked at each other then back at him, letting out a few laughs here and there. he’s basically told everyone around him about you, so much even people know about you both but these two guys don’t seem to get it. bachira knew how sensitive you were, he knew how quick you can take insults to heart, he wants to take matters in his own hands at times and protect you.
“to me, it seems as if you both seem to have the guts to talk ill about someone you don’t even know personally, thinking i wouldn’t hear what was running in your mouths.” he glared at the two, taking a step forward towards them.
“shit dude why are you so angry, can’t take a joke?”
“yeah, we were just joking. you’re getting all aggressive n defensive for nothing”
bachira’s body tensed, clenching his fists. did they really have to edge him on even longer? he was losing his patience, he wanted to tell these boys to scram already. unfortunately, the duo did not speak my further, attempting to walk out only to be stopped by bachira himself. “listen here, if i ever hear you both run your mouths about her once more, i’ll show you how aggressive and defensive i can get” “trying to sound all tough are ya? what are you going to do huh?” he smirked, cracking his knuckles. “guess we’ll have to find out.”
— buuuwwep !! ૮꒰ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ꒱ྀིა
“meguru!” you ran up to your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his neck as your nose picked up his scent, lips curving into a smile. “missed you so much, y’know that?” he grinned, hands resting on your hips, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. you’re too sweet.. even though his mood changed when he saw you, he still can’t help but repeat whatever those guys said about you in his head, he exhaled lowly and grabbed your hand, kissing it before holding it tightly against his own. tilting your head and looking up in curiosity, you couldn’t help but sense something unusual about your boyfriend, “something the matter, meguru?” bachira tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, leaning over to kiss your cheek.
“ah. . nono it’s nothing, how about we go cool down with some ice cream? it’s kinda hot, isn’t it?” “of course, let’s go” deep inside of his heart, he couldn’t help but feel upset for you. who do those people think they are? they think they can just walk in and talk ill about someone as sweet as you are? most people have no human decency, he thought. he cant let you know about anything, he was willing to block all kinds of negative things from you, protect you from anything that tries to harm you in any way.
“if i’m being honest i never expected her to even get together with bachira, she doesn’t really suit him.” a voice can be heard from the opposite direction from where you and him were walking, he sighed to himself. if only he could protect you from everything, but sometimes he can’t always be your knight in shining armour, and that’s frustrating to him. if only he was always there by your side, he wanted to be by your side, he wanted to always be there for you but he is aware he can’t always be there beside you, someday he knows that you’ll overhear something from others.. someday and somehow. but regardless of anything, bachira is willing to prevent you from hearing ill things about you, he is willing to do anything to protect you, for you and you only.
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This is so rushed omg i’m so sorry it’s late at night i’m losing my mind ૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა — Maryse
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