#im just really tired god i need sleep

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#remember when i could draw? when i had time to draw and color? #bleh. im just sorta exhausted and dont feel good and starting to get overwhelmed by all that i need to get done #weirdest version of being sick ive had. i dont have a fever but i feel hot and my throat hurts and i have to take deep breaths but not #really coughing so im like??? am i sick??? #ugh. i dunno ive been going to sleep at like 9pm and its only 7 and im so tired but i have a paper to read #maybe ill read it in the morning and not do pigment analysis tomorrow... but i wanna see those god damn pigment >:-( #i dunno. im also just kinda frustrated bc im running into things that my mum was in control of the info on #so its like: well i cant access my fasfa account. i dont kno where my vaccine info is. i dont kno if my mum had uterine fibroids before it #all turned to cancer. i dunno. im just tired #also i bitched out on a pap smear bc it hurt too bad. so ive had a day. #but ive got a birth control perception again. i dont wanna take it but like i cant really aford to go out of focus and go out of commission #via pain. so like i guess i gotta. ugh. it better not fuck with my medication #hopefully ill wake up tomorrow and all will be well in the world #unrelated

[skitskatdacat63]

Oh boy I can't wait to get 5 hours of sleep before this gp 🌚

#fernando. im gonna need you to pull out a banger performance today #to make me waking up worth it #hes gonna win the race guys....... #forgot to draw him with a crown but tnats fine because hes gonna win #if not im gonna need to draw myself au comfort art 😭😭😭😭😭 #but god i really hope its noy a boring race(for me) cause ill just be morose and pass out for 4 hours #I WANNA BE HAPPY AGAIN 🥺 LIKE ZANDVOORT #hey guys remember that 15 years ago he won from starting 15 place- dont worry about the circumstances behind that #but ugh i guess i try to think about how good his starts are #like p5 wasnt that promising 2 race ago but hey look where we go #*got #sorry but i am kinda just manifesting a ferr//ari fuck-up and me//rc of course #nothing else matters as long as nandos on top 👏👏👏👏👏👏 #my mclaren boy isnt even up there either so :(((( #MANIFESTING PLEASE #sorry i am tiresd and delusional and am resigning myself to so little sleep 😭😭😭😭 #i gotta be positive in some form! #im tired enough that i really am considering praying to my fernando poster HAHAHAHAH 😭😭😭😭 #about to kneel down i swear to god #catie.rambling.txt

[stormyoceans]

YA GIRL MANAGED TO SURVIVE THIS HELLISH DAY AND IS GONNA BE HOME TOMORROW TO WATCH LAST TWILIGHT LIVE

#god knows i wish i had a whole month off and not just a day tho #i feel so bad about not being able to answer everyone's messages and i just wish i had the time to do that #i do hope you guys know that i deeply appreciate every single one of them #but i desperately wish i could actually SHOW you that appreciation #i also want to write so much stuff about last twilight and vice versa #but most of the time im so tired i really can't put a single coherent thought together #anyway. i need sleep so badly #to delete

[watch-out-it-bites]

I believe I deserve a sweet little treat [He has done nothing important for the past week]

#i am so fucked #don't let them see this! #i could always go to the kitchen - Above the fridge ;-) #siiigh to have things i enjoy. the worst. ever. #i really dont wanna be god im so fucked but im so tired. and i dont want to be yelled at but i dont want to do anything #i feel like just. lying down and not getting back up. nap time. oreverrrr #i really wish i could live carefree doing whatever #guh. is it even worth it to try? #im just going to end up all. eugh. #sure. it was great last year. but uhghfhfhg so quiet and so hard and so. bluh. #i really dont wanna wake up on monday #so stressful all the time #im either stressed but enjoying and spending time with friends or stressed and alone but people are proud of me #maybe we should cut off interests for a while - it could fix hims stuff. #i wish i could focus #i dont know why so hard recently #uhhhghĥhhhhhhh #i dont think i deserve to sleep but im so tired but i need to work on things #god i want to kill myself - you can't!! youve taken too many vows to die now

[brine-in-my-eyes]

and my ass hurts 😭😭😭😭

#sat in the chair too long and thought nahhhi can handle this like a neurotypical #everytime i think that im always abt to set myself up fpr failure #should really just take the break i needed #god i should eat #really just tired so so tired #tomorrowim gping autism work mode idgaf im putting timers and shit adding stickers to my notes for doing a good job and beinf Nicey #like yessss puppy ypu deserve 2 hours of sleep after that <3

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#now my aunt is in remission... #a lot is happening and i feel the loneliest I've felt since high school #I've only been getting worse since my family denied what i went through and sat there and told me i wasn't probably remembering it correctly #i know what it was like growing up even if it comes back to me in spurts.. #but they really have started to make me doubt myself and its the worse cause they never apologized for the neglect and abuse #and they all took their side and acted like i was mistaken and said “ i never saw it happened do it didn't happen #and now i dont even talk to the only two friends i had cause i dont feel the same #if i don't text them first they never ever message me first or even check on me #and im always the one being there for them and listening to them and im just tired lf it all #i dont want a future anymore and im slowly losing my grip ive held on do tight even at my loneliest and now i feel like im losing #i was never anyone's best friend and everyone of the people ive called friends were always closer to someone else #ive only always had myself but im losing hope for the future and i just feel so extremely empty again #i just want to end this feeling and the weed isnt working anymore and working out doesnt work... i need God ive been so far away from him.. #Im just slowly losing it more and more im tired of being the friend everyone goes to for advice and laughs or enjoyment #im tired of it so much #the only time i feel joy is the bliss i feel when i sleep and even that joy is never truly felt cause i constantly fight my sleep #i only sleep when my body forced it self to cause i can't naturally just go to sleep st s set time anymore.. #im so tired of being people's escape or advice person I'm probably only saying this for the overwhelming feeling #of being a colossal failure and disappointment even so i still try snd try and fail some more #why don't i quit I just dont know why its just something in me that has some glimmer of self hope ive only tried to kms once and failed #maybe ima bit glad i failed but apart of me laughs cause i even failed at kms and find it ironic cause i fail at so many things #im so incapable of salvaging some semblance of normality or consistency #Mr.inconsistent that i am and have been but i refuse to let myself end that way i have to fight for something even in this haze of mine.. #i just want to be better why cant i get better and stay good.. maybe it hurts more than i let on finally speaking of what happened #and for them to deny it may have really affected me a lot snd i am just now seeing it manifest it self now ... #i just gotta live with it and just TRY to do better every single day snd in every single situation snd action i take...

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

goodnight

#off to bed and we. shall see. if i keep my streak. i desperately hope i do. #but oh God help me it's hard #i ust want to harm so bad #well really i want to do more than harm but i Won't #i am so tired from work lately #ransom has her first vet appointment tomorrow #i have work tomorrow #it just #all stacking up i don't even know #had mildly difficult/thought provokin convo today #aaaaa i want to jump off my balcony #of course i won't i definitely won't but i Want To #gah i can't even explain why im feeling like this ugh hate it #puddleglum hours #i really need a decent cry but it's all bottled up inside me and the only way i know of releasing that in the way it feelin now is to harm #tw sh #ive been nearly ten and a half days i want to get to at least a fortnight #hmmm gonna bring puter to bed so i can listne to music real quiet tho bc i lost my headphones idk where htey are #watch me Not get much sleep huh #a dnthen be unfit for work tomorrow? its more likely tha you think #i also wish i had a lighter i need to acquire one next time im getting petrol #(no im not a smoker. just a pyromaniac.) #(mostly i have a healthy enough fear of fire after dressing a nasty burn wound on placement last y that i probably wouldn't harm using fire #probably.) #i dont know in my head is all ajumbled mess and i dont see how i am to keep going #and every time i say that i keep going anyhow and that thought makes it feel like im overreacting to all this which. of course i am. #nothin but a fool a very tired helpless useless one #was playing the piano earlier. played a movt from a concerto to which ive set words to a section at least (not the full thing yet) #'and though the night seems endless/until the storm has passed/still i will hope in God my trust/i will follow him' #my favourite lines from that

[the-kipsabian]

tomorrow is such an important day, im a mcfucking nervous anxious wreck already gOD

#got the school interview tomorrow #i just. really want this. something needs to change in my life and getting to study something im genuinely interested in #and something i genuinely like and i know i could do as a career would mean everything to me #unfortunately if i do become a student thats gonna put a terrible dent on my finances as well as i have to move and thats gonna be #the next four years of my life. but i also just REALLY want this #my life needs a meaning. and this could hopefully be it #i have no idea what they are gonna ask in the interview but apparently its gonna be scored from 0 to 60 points which. nerve wracking #the other assignments were 0 to 20 so its total out of a 100. i know i have at least ten points so far if i got to the interview lol #but yeah im. i just really hope it goes well. i really need this. im tired of not going anywhere not doing anything not having a future #please. i dont ask for much. ive had enough rejections this year already idk what im gonna do if i dont get this or any of my backup plans #just.. yeah. im tired but i gotta set up stuff tomorrow oof. pull my assignments up and set up my laptop for the interview and hhhh #im just. nervous #idk what im gonna do if i fail this #and thats fucking terrifying #god i hope i can sleep tonight mmm #night is an absolute mess on main

[iron-niffler]

god im tired

#had class at two then back to back exams #and was braindead and crying by the time i got back at like 7:15 so just played video games for a few hours #and now i need to start studying for diffeq on friday #god i cant wait till saturday #would say friday afternoon but of fucking course i have three different fucking assignments due friday 11:59 #what fucker thought “yeah we'll just put strengths of materials and physics back to back then diffeq two days after” #and ofc it's “mEntAl hEalTh wEeK” at my school #so im just sitting here crying for the tenth time today over physics/strengths/diffeq #and the advisors are spamming “come to this three hour webinar about burnout” #like...really #fuck everything why the hell did i ever think i was smart enough for engineering #my senior self was like “ooh this is cool” about circuits and lil robots and power tools #and now im sobbing over free body diagrams #am entirely convinced electric fields are black magic bc none of that shit makes any sense #im just so tired like i spent hours studying for these exams #did 2-3 backexams for each got little sleep since sunday #and i fucked both of them up massively #course my professor was like “if you can do these you can do the exam” #and i did those problems easily the night before and was like okay! let's work on physics! #and then the exam hit me like a fucking freight train #i can't even do the basic shit like stay fully awake for all my classes #bc of course they only offer three of the engineering courses back to back to back starting at 8:30 in the fucking morning #and im fine in thermo but just start completely crashing during strengths and am just half dead in diffeq #accidentally put my head down during a five minute break once and woke up twenty minutes later 😭 #i am not a morning person #starting at 10am is fine but 8:30am? #adrenaline gets me through the first hour but then im just dead

[i-legitimately-dont-know]

current mood :/

#just feel like being dramatic pay no mind #i truly just need to go to sleep and i’ll be fine for at least a little while #i’m just frustrated with myself i feel so fucking stupid all the time and then keep putting myself in the same situation over and over again #insane shit #also just like motherfucker how are you so unaware of the shit you do and say like fucking hell #and like do you even give a fuck about me in any meaningful way or am i just an npc you can summon when you’re bored or need something #but at the same time i feel like i’m always bothering you god everything is so fucked #BUT YOU’RE LITERALLY SO CONTENT AND THAT’S WHATS REALLY FUCKED #quite literally how the fuck am i not over this i’m so tired and maybe i should’ve taken some space in december #but if i had i feel like we would’ve lost touch #and now we’re way closer than before but i can’t stop wanting shit that i can’t have and it’s pathetic #so i guess im just doomed like holy shit i want to be dating someone to move tf on but i truly don’t give a fuck about these tinder people #and like i said friends is fine and i meant it but i didn’t think it’d be so fucking hard #and with all the time we spend together like why tf don’t we just give it a shot just to see like fuck you’re not even a little curious #like am i that awful #i just wish i could care exactly the same amount as you do #i don’t wanna not be friends i’m just sick of feeling guilty cause my brain keeps saying like oh you’re a terrible friend #cause you only do xyz cause you think it’ll make them want you #and that’s not true #for the most part 🫠 #but also fuck maybe i just should not be around as much and like quietly get a little bit of distance #but i don’t want that shit lmao #wtf do i even do god i hate thisss #also fuck you cause you really have me going sometimes like things are different #but in your head you’re literally just saying things #FUCK UGH #anyway this should’ve been typed in my notes app lmao #but it’s already here and it’s almost 5am so presumably no one will see it

[zhuhongs]

i am so painfully american in so many ways that I never even realized,,, like the Pain. Today I went out with my friends mom who doesn’t speak any english and oh my god was I a deer in the headlights all day. I feel soooo bad, also like she refused to let me pay for anything and gave me sooo much food and drove me around all day. I really don’t know how to thank her enough. I tried to give her a gift and she returned it to me without me even noticing... oh my god. ms. huang.. rlly.... TT thank u also I’m so sorry i’m so painfully timid and awkward

#i've never eaten like.. so many kinds of meat bc like.. yk.. americans only really like the "desireable' parts of the meat. so yea.. also i #have like a fear of swallowing bones.. long story. if u were here u were here for it. if u dont know .. its a Story. but yea so i was like. #this is... a painfully awkward meal. also i dropped my chopsticks TWICEEEEE.. pain. also I've never had shirmp with the head on so she #put one on my plate and i was like... uh.... i dont know how to eat this but I just looked out how the ppl around me did it so i got used t #it.. kinda.... god yea. and then she really kept giving me food but I have a small appetite due to the aforementioned fear of bones thing #it was a spell of disordered eating in hs. left me with a damaged throat and a reduced appetite. not body image related but trauma related #etc. etc.. so yea. i felt so bad. I was so full. she bought me so much. im sooo sorry.... but good news is i wont need to buy food at all #tmrw... and then sometimes she'd ask me a question and I'd legit have no clue how to respond. I;m so used to speaking multiple languages #with my classmates and my roommates so if i ever forget smth i can just use a diferrent language to explain and its.. so much harder to #speak only one language than i thought and hhhhh. also sidenote i COMPLETELY understand why my friend is the way she is... like yea no she #IS her mothers daughter hundred percent.... forceful. kind. not afriad to bargain. overall big appetite for life and yea no.. it makes sooo #much sense... i understand it ALL now...also her little brother is so rude.... god i don't like him. i see why she doesn't like him #like id never blame someone for hating their family but yea no i get it #hhhh so yea.. it was rlly fun but also.. a lot. super super grateful tho. #🐌.txt #also i am so tired.. what not getting enough sleep for a week will do to a mf

[pebblezone]

who’s up making sound effects ☝️☝️☝️

#talkingcore #realizing that the little pshooo noise I make when moving an object from one place to another can in fact be heard and perceived by others #purely on the basis I don’t hear anyone else making sound effects… you’re telling me I’m supposed to just push elevator buttons in silence?? #like when you’re looking for things you don’t do like a lil choochoo chugging a long situation? okay… 👁️👁️💥💥💥💥 #hot girl walk backfired I am so sleepy fuck this group project I can’t do anything til other people put info in…. I want to sleep #they pushed it off an extra 50 minutes pls let’s just get it done so I can go to sleep peacefully at like idk 8:30 (this is unrealistic) #I can sense the stress and disappointment. so sad so sad #maybe I’ll wait to post so I can have as much of my woes in one place (I am so sleepy) #this is hell I forgot we had a floor meeting at 830. the dude whose work I’m waiting on is not done. I’m feeling like the Arthur dad #tip: I am so fucking mad though the mad is really just Tired it’s due at 9 am tomorrow I do not want to be thinking about this past 10pm #it’s 8:49 maybe it’ll be good soon Please I need Slumber though also there’s Clunking going around who’s clunking #919 literally no progress this is super hell. DUDE WHERE SRE YOU GOING WE ARE ALL WAITING ON YOU AHHHHHHHHHHHH #man…………….. this is twisted. and sick :(((( #THEY FINALLY FREED ME 9:37 GOD DAMN… AND THEYRE STILL NOT DONE IM JUST NOT TRAPPED ON ZOOM #this is my attack on London for Realsies we already had an extension it should’ve been due this morning. ass cheeks up for Real for real for

[angelboybreakdowns]

boys will have one little experience and probably their anxiety was just being weird for some reason or something and it is probably not at all what they think it was and then theyll still overanalyze it and pick at it and worry about it for a month

#well. this saturday ill see if it repeats and pray (/nlit /nonreligious) it doesnt #(being vague and phrasing this weird ik sorry) #(trying to figure out ifi have a crush on one of my friends because i felt weird when we were hlding hands last month really hoping i dont) #(really really really hoping i dont) #(i probably dont hopefully im just overthinking it) #(like really really really really hoping i dont) #(wouldnt it be just my fucking luck if my first crush on a real person was on a friend who i know for a fact wouldnt like me back) #(like really really really really really really hoping i dont) #(words cannot express how unhappy i would be if i had a crush on him) #(plus he likes a different friend and so it would be really fucking awkward) #(like really really fucking awkward) #(ok. well. this saturday well probably hold hands at some point ill assess how i feel then) #(god imagine how fucking awful itll be if it is a crush) #(ignore the rambling im just tired need to go to sleep)

[sunny4thewin]

me about to take my first APUSH chapter one test, wanting to APUSH myself off a cliff. . . . . . . yeah, the joke isn't original, but I really wanted to post it.

#APUSH #us history #history #school #tests #god #i just drank some tea #i really need to get some sleep #its too late for this #im too old for this shit #and now im quoting diehard #im too tired for grammar

[orcelito]

Tfw I am like. Stuck in bed lol. Bc all the exhaustion of the past few days has caught up with me

I need to Bake.... metamorphosis....

#speculation nation #i was playing tales of arise earlier. which is pretty fun ngl #tho the battle system will take some getting used to #probably didnt help that im exhausted as hell lol #i gave up and went to nap. intending to nap for only an hour or so #but i think. i want to keep napping. #i still have that God Damned manager meeting tonight. god i fucking Hate those things. #so i cant just Sleep #which tbh if it were up to me im so tired i probably would like to just sleep #like. hooooly shit the past few days have been demanding #doesnt help that the weather's awful so biking has been a chore too #lol i even slipped on some sludge earlier today. caught myself but banged my leg a bit. not fun #and it's only supposed to get worse </3 #i want winter to be over already actually. thank you! #for now... rest... i really need it.

[celticwoman]

man . today is such a day hmmmm

#i feel terrible #im on my period and the cramps were so bad last night it took me a long time to be able to sleep #and theyre not much better now tbh #im really tired and just wanna lay down #but as much as im suffering rn this is good bc this means i wont be feeling like this on sunday #which #could you imagine? thatd suck sooo much #anyways i think i may get paid today? hopefully . ive been thinking abt commissioning more art and have two ideas in mind #will decide once i get paid #thank god i dont have therapy today and im just going straight home after this #need a hug #cami.txt