#im just a mess today and i keep doing it to myself tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

menalez · 1 year

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Do you recommend anything for helping with internalized homophobia? Today I added the title of a folder "lesbian pride" and realised how much it scares me to actually call myself a lesbian. What if I'm bi??? Honestly one of the biggest intrusive thoughts whenever I even just wanna write "I'm a lesbian" because I used to id as bi, I rlly thought I was at first. Then I realised how much I don't actually like men. But it's weird because penis drawings don't irck me, so wtf. The thought of being with a real breathing man does though, that sounds awful.

But the problem is that I'm still young. I've been with nobody yet!!! I'm 18 tho, so not THAT young, yet what if I somehow fall for a man in the future, I just...

Maybe it sounds messed up, but I don't wanna suffer discrimination for it to be 'my fault' (not as in, I or any gay person deserves it, but in the way of making it more difficult for myself by myself) in the end. And more than anything, I'd also hate to prove homophobic relatives and people right.

For these reasons I don't call myself a lesbian. Nor do I call myself bi because it doesn't feel right. I just try to avoid refering to myself as a lesbian and write instead "I love women" or "I only love women" or "as someone who loves women"...

I don't want to do that though, I just want to get rid of this uncertainty and like. Stop feeling embarassed/afraid about it or whatever. I can't identify the feeling well.

being comfortable with calling yourself a lesbian or bisexual or whatever it is that you are often takes time and patience from my experience. when i first came out, i called myself “sapphic” or “gay” bc something about the word “lesbian” sounded so strong and scary to me. take your time tbh, maybe try it out here and there but don’t push too hard to use a certain term. if you’re uncertain of yourself still you can keep exploring your sexuality and figuring out your feelings. i wish sexuality were so black n white and we could just always know immediately bc it’d make things easier but it simply isn’t. being wrong is possible and i went thru a similar point as u, but after some time it becomes unavoidable really. like you’ll automatically come to the conclusion of “well… im x years old now. never been into a man. never been interested. still don’t find them attractive” and thus, calling yourself a lesbian is only rational. it’s also hard to have that confidence in your sexuality if you’re inexperienced, some ppl manage but ime most do not. i think you should give yourself time and don’t rush it too much, bc it often does come naturally, with time & experience & confidence.

also not being disgusted by a penis DRAWING isnt necessarily a reflection of your sexuality. i doubt most heterosexual women will have much of a reaction to vulva drawings. most straight men will draw dicks everywhere.

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babstheyaga · 7 months

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OMG I JUST SAW MY ANSWERED QUESTION AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVED WHAT YOU WROTE IM SQUEALLINGGG WHICH MADE ME HAVE ANOTHER IDEA! So like get this right: The reader being one of those master mind criminal idk like cat women type shit right? And she’s always one step ahead of the autobots in stealing shit and she’s like a huge problem in the city too like no one can catch her and even if they do she plans it in the first place. Like the girl can freaking take them all on in a hand to hand combat like she was raised in the league of assassins or something 😂. How would the others react to her purposely messing with the crew every time they try to get their hands on something and her flaunting it in their faces before escaping, I feel like everyone would have mixed reactions tbh but also a bit of respect to her being able to do all of this on her own, even though it’s hella annoying. I could see her being able to seduce as well, so when she almost gets caught by someone like jazz or maybe even bee and especially mirage she could play her cards right and catch them off guard to escape. Obviously it wouldn’t work on Optimus but I feel like it would work on some of them, maybe even arcee or cliffjumper idk. I imagine her having a suit kinda like black Canary obviously it’s black since she would be able to hide in the shadows and shit but it would be purposely tight on her figure 😏. I could see them calling her the watcher since she’s always watching. Idk I like the idea of bad ass reader, and the thought of her not getting caught just makes me very interested on how the autobots would react to that. Cause when she does get caught it wouldn’t be easy to break her, idk girl probably likes and is used to the torture lol. Anyway love you author your the friggen best, and I hope your doing great today!

Keep sending these prompts and this is gonna be us

“Not so tight momma's boy... We wouldn't wanna scar such a pretty lady like me, now would we?” My voice was smooth, sarcastic dare I say.

“Trust me,” The noiret said, tightening the rope around my wrists behind my back. “You are no lady.” Mirage stood up from crouching down at my kneeling body, stuck his hands in his pants pockets and stared down at me.

“Oh, come now little bro...” I mocked, “Is that really how you should talk to a type C?” I tilted my head to the side, a sly smirk on my lips that I knew would piss him off.

He scoffed and turned his head towards his brother, Jazz. “You wanna kill 'er or can I?” He asked the silver-fox.

Jazz was leaned up against the wall, fiddling with his pockets, trying to find something in it. “Nah, let OP deal with 'er... He's 'ppose to be here in 'bout 30 minutes...” He said, still rummaging through his pants.

“I can't wait till he kills this bitch...” He replied, glancing back down at me and glaring. I pouted my lips, teasing him. “I'm gonna go call Bee, see what he has to say 'bout this whole thing.” He said, turned and started to make his way out of the warehouse.

I looked over my shoulder as he exited, the loud door closing roughly and I blinked back over to the pale male, my half-lidded eyes studying him from afar.

He managed to find the thing in his pockets, a cigarette and lighter, which he was flicking it lit.

“Your brother has quite the temper on him, huh?” I asked, readjusting myself on the ground.

“Yeah just wait till you see mine...” He replied through sealed lips, lighting the tobacco.

I tried to hold down my smile. “You? The slick spy of the group? Oh, surely not...” I said, tilting my head up, trying to get him to engage with me.

He pulled the cig away from his mouth, blinking over to me from the side of his eye. “I know what ya' doin', tellin' ya' mama, it ain't workin'.” He said, cracking his neck.

“Oh yeah? What's that big daddy?” I flirted. That seemed to get on his nerves enough to make him scoff and run a hand down his face.

“Might work on my bro, trust me suga' tits, ain't workin' on me.” He pushed himself off the wall, steadying me with his arms crossed, peering over at me.

“D'aw, come now darling... I'm not even doing anything!” I toyed, straightening my back and twisting my torso back and forth tauntingly.

“Seducin' yer way outta this one ain't finna happen. Believe me.” He said, rolling his shoulders.

“Oh but baby, you misunderstand me... I'm not seducing my way out of anything. I'm right where I want to be.” I replied, leaning back and placing my bound hands on the floor, my kneeling legs spreading in just the perfect way.

“Yeah?” He raised a brow. “OP finna be here any minute. Yer ass ain't goin' no where. So where exactly you wanna be, huh?”

“Oh, with you of course. Where else?”

He scoffed again. “With me, huh? You wanna die that bad? 'Cause you sure as hell ain't gettin' 'way from me lil mama.”

“Get away from you? Oh honey, I don't need to get away from you. It's you getting away from me.” I had to admit, Jazz was rather interesting. He was suspicious and mysterious, a perfect challenge that I liked to play with. He was like a handsome toy that I found fascinating.

“Me get away from you? Yeah? Why's that?” He took a step toward me from out of the shadows, and I knew I had him on the ropes.

“Because I already have you wrapped around my finger, baby...” I taunted.

He looked down, a smile coming to his lips. He sniffed to reset himself, and began to walk towards me. I felt my back tingle in excitement, Christ, he made this too easy...

He came to my front, crouched down slowly and nudged his glasses down to the tip of his nose, his half-lidded pale eyes flicked between mine.

He brought his cigarette to his lips, not yet taking a puff. “You really think this is workin', don't you?” He asked, taking a drag.

I fluttered my eyes, leaning forward towards him. “You're pretty easy to read... I can get away any time I want.”

His hues danced around my skin, an interest in them that I couldn't quite pinpoint. He was perfectly manipulable, but maybe not as easy as I thought he was. I could tell he was toying with me, and it made it all the more attractive. I could do this all day.

Hell, I already had part of the bounds broken, so I leave at any given time... But he was making this way too fun.

He breathed in the smoke, then lifted his head and blew it into my face. I didn't blink, didn't cough, only just stared at him, my smirk grew by the tiniest of inches.

He was gentle to watch me, he was enjoying this just as much as I was, and I resisted the urge to make it more interesting.

When he spoke, I knew he liked my playing, perhaps a bit more than I thought he did...

“Try me.”

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tiredofthehumanlife · 3 months

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You guys want to hear some real petty drama

This couple (nasty they are) keeps sitting with me at lunch (disgusting)

Lemme set the scene so at my school we have like tables and booths and two of the booths are up against the wall and there's two long seats facing each other yk restaurant style and then they are more booths off to the side of those I normally sit in the first booth against the wall so that's where encounter 1-4 happens the fifth one is in the booth behind the first one so and also everytime I have sat in the booth first and then they go and just decide to sit with me (this actually makes me boil with anger)

First time this happened I was already having a really pissy day so I just glared at them. I was so uncomfy I didn't eat my lunch. so these two are like all up on each other 24/7 and like kissing and sharing food and like sitting on top of each other. if you're in your own booth sure maybe it's weird but you're in your own area not my business but like I was sitting in the booth first and then you come and sit down next to me unprompted and I'm just supposed to be chill with you trying to jump each other's bones every two seconds? And one of them got a slushie and then they were sharing it with two spoons (sure whatever) but then they did that thing where you cross arms yk the thing ppl do when they eat wedding cake and the guy missed the girls mouth and the slushie got on her shirt and he went "oh no baby 🥺 you got it on yourself you made a mess 🥺" like in a baby voice yk you get it and then wiped her shirt for her. dude get away from me

Then second time at this point I'm boiling dude pick somewhere else to sit it's not like they ran out of seats these two get there relatively early so they're just sitting there for funsies and I'm like annoyed and uncomfortable bc again they are all up on each other

Third time again I'm sitting alone Im in a booth and these two walk over and sit on the other side of this booth and are again all. Up. On. Each. Other. Get a room it's nasty people are trying to eat

Fourth time I'm sitting with my friend same booth same side and they come and sit on the other side

Then today I sat in a different booth near the first one that I normally sit in bc they make me so incredibly uncomfortable that I'd rather just move someone else and then I see them and there is a girl sitting in the first booth right and they're standing there next to her like 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️ okay and then they ask the girl if she can move bc it's "their spot" which bitch this is not an assigned seat situation this is first come first serve eat or eaten (it's a highschool cafeteria its not that big of a deal) and this girl obviously goes "uh no?" And they're like "but it's our spot" and she's like "still no?" And then they just stand there like they've lost all options (which they haven't btw there was another open booth next to them) and then they come and SIT IN MY BOOTH and they drop their bags and the girl walks off to go get a tray but her boyfriend stays there and I'm upset and frustrated so I said "why do y'all do this?" And tbh I thought I whispered it to myself but then he turns around and goes "you're one person stop hogging it😡" which first of all there are so many other seats youre the one hogging up other people's personal space and secondly I'm not one person so now you just look foolish and they sat there for the rest of the lunch period all up on each other

And I know it's a dumb hill to die on and it's really petty but these two gross me out so much and they're just so entitled that I've started plotting how I'm going to get them to go away

Here's my plan next time I get there I'm going to sit in the other booth not the first one they have decided is theirs the one behind it and I'm putting my bag on the other side and sitting opposite my bag and then if they say anything "sorry someone's sitting there" and then if they say anything after that I'll just be crazy petty and be like "I wouldn't want to hog a booth but I have friends I'm eating with today sooo"

#petty af #ik its stupid #dramatic #drama #god damn #i wrote too much

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lostacelonnie · 9 months

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Gotta keep that hope around for sure i will keep my fingers crossed for you. Oh that is a win win i gotta remember that, i say as if adhd wont make me forget. I usually just look for em to see like. What kinds are around. Whole ones. Broken ones. Weird shapes. Its interesting. Dont take any with me though. That. Makes me wonder how they teach english over there. Honestly yeah i look for a name in the bio or just. Shorthand the username somehow because i gotta have some way to refer to people. I havent used a bio in years so people use my username all the time. Oooh norway i have always wanted to go there. I dont camp as much as id like to but i should more tbh. I have seen her stacks & i gotta say. Clara is wild cant believe i let her sit unused. I dunno how much ill get but im gonna for sure be savin as i can. I think that one is last yeah. I am always interested at the start but fade by the end because the new stuff always slows down. Same ive been playing indies more like gris & obra dinn. To try & branch out. Good story annoying exploration is chasm in a nutshell yeah. True big cities be like that. I live in a smaller one now so very little happens. Mine hold dye decently well which i appreciate. Just wish we had true permanent dye. Maybe one day. Thats how i am with nail polish i always get it on the sides & mess up but ive gotta just. Be patient & let myself learn. Happy 1.2 star rail update

sorry for the late reply shfjglk i truly have no excuse other than "i was holed up in my room in an attempt to avoid interaction with my grandma but i accidentally also avoided interaction with Everyone Else" so im. So sorry ab that. COMING BACK hehe thankies!! if things go wrong i guess ill just move out for a while and then come back Suspiciously A Different Gender. nobodys gonna know. but yeah good luck on remembering that shdjfk!! and ahh thats fair i just usually visit pretty big beaches so theres not many around by the time i get there. english is taught just so you know the language but following the education system without external classes will get you a2 knowledge At Best and its getting worse with each year so. lol. and yeah frfr i use usernames as names alllll the time...... norway is very fun i recommend it!! esp if you prefer colder climates like i do. ahhh understandable!! i dont actually. own a tent but as i said, maybe one day. id rather go with friends tho which is a problem in on itself cos i dont have that many friends that actually know each other. unless i go with my photo camp friends. thats an Idea actually. YEAH CLARA IS GREAT.... i unfortunately dont have her quite built [terrible relic luck...... plus ive been more focused on trying to prepare for kafka recently] but seeing as shes my main [despite having jing yuan] i Will get her better stuff someday. i have 140 pulls rn so im equally nervous as i am excited. yeah it really Is like that bc im always paranoid ab spoilers so i always do at least the new story as fast as i can. except for right now as i still havent played the new honkai chapter [but tbf my game only managed to download the update yesterday, 3 days after the launch of 6.8] and i honestly dont have the energy to do it today so maybe tomorrow. ah that sounds fun!! i came back to minecraft recently idk why but ive been having a Great time. after 130 in-game days i am finally no longer homeless. and oh when i get older id like to move to a smaller city [since i like having things close but dont like having drama all the time] but im still thinking ab where. ah thats cool...... i tried looking for the dye that i used on camp but couldnt find it. rip. and yeah same tbh thats why i never paint my nails. and yeah happy star rail 1.2 o)-( i like the double planar ornament event since thats the only thing im missing for kafkas things......

#but at least it turns out that when im sealed away in my room im also extremely productive in drawing and writing #asks #pen pals

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 1 year

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I for the first time ever I deleted a post. I'm gonna make that a habit from here on. I'm trying to work on how I communicate when I'm upset annnnd I very clearly was not in the right space at that moment.

Though now that I'm out that daze I don't know how to pick up the pieces. I don't know why I quit but I did atp knowing full well I do not have the money for my uni debt installment.. I nonchalantly took 700 right after rhe fact planning on easing up to much much more in the hopes of escaping that whole situation

I got scared, didn't do the rest, discovered that our landlord was doing an inspection soon, and finally, used that as an excuse and pushed it off til then

And now?

Today is the day of. Well actually ig its the day after now. It's 1:50 am and Saturday atp lol. Dooms day was technically supposed to be on Fri

I've been feeling so trapped. I genuinely don't know what to do from here. Its so fucking stupid. If I could have pushed through for just a week or two longer half of this issue wouldn't even matter. But no. I got so frustrated I just quit on the spot and I was already being stupid before too. I just can't get over this fucking hurdle. I can't. It's like anything I don't want to do just turns into the bigger than it ever needs to be and it takes my all to just get through it. That shit is so draining

But my god like it's not draining enough to where I need to like whole ass unalive myself.. shit. Everytime I come out that daze I cringe at how overdramatic I sound. It's because of my giant problem with asking for help. It is HORRIBLE. The thought of telling anyone what I've been struggling with just sounds like an emotional mess

But everytime I think on it, it feels more and more like my only option is to hurt myself. I so desperately need psychiatric help but who has the money for that? If I don't hurt myself, it won't be considered urgent enough for them to get me help right away. Plus they'd get annoyed with my constant excuses. Not to say they wouldn't still be mad if I were to do something like that.. tho least they'd know it's different this time.

But on the other is it right for me to purposely weaponize my self inflicted suffering to get help right when I want it? Is it manipulative? Is it a necessary sacrifice? I've been wanting this for so long. If i could just keep my head on straight for long enough maybe I could fucking afford it myself.

That's what I hate about it. It's a two in one fuck up. I have $300 I'm somehow supposed to poof up by the end of the month. Tbh I have like $170 more I need to sort out too but it's not as urgent lol. But thennnn that whole sink hole issue plus me quitting.. AGAIN

I literally don't know what to do. I don't want to do it again. I fucking hate the taste, the feel, the everything. I relapsed out of pure desperation and i still was miserable. Worst two days of my life. I felt so pathetic

So now it makes it sting so much worse for that being all that I can think of. Ik I'd get help. But god.. do I have to feel that shit to get it? Do I really have to? What are my other options tho

Jesus. I am so ready to shut down and hopefully just stop breathing. I'm terrified of how bad I'm gonna hurt after I take them all. But I really don't see any other options. The thought of asking for help makes me sick. They're not gonna take it seriously. Ik they'd cheese along originally but they'll get annoyed and hate me. Plus what am I gonna do in December? I still have debt to pay then. That shit is still gon be due.. that's another $200 I need to 100% have or else im gonna fuck up everything. My mom's cosigned on my student loan I literally can't fuck it up.

I've been depersonalizing, dry heaving, and ofc boohooing about it all for so many days. I just want to shut down and not do anything anymore. I don't want to do anything atp. I just don't want to be stuck throwing up and dehydrated again. It feels so gross.

I want to talk to R about it. Disregarding all the extra shit we've been doing lately. Im putting all that bs aside for now. I know that she went through similar. That is it. I hope she's not too busy

#vent #dph addiction #as always i wrote ts over the span of a few hours so the time aint accurate atp. its now 1:43pm on the same day. just wanted to clarify #excessively long

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the-kipsabian · 9 months

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asking myself every day why ppl follow me here anymore, let alone why i think i have friends

#all i do is complain about the same things and bring nothing to the table in the fandom that someone else wouldnt or doesnt already do #idk what you want from me or what i could change or do #i should delete tumblr and rest of social media and just find myself a rock to live under tbh #im just. sad. whatever who cares #even the things that make me happy rarely do that anymore outside of very few little things #im gonna find something to do today i guess dont mind me #idk why i keep saying that when nobody minds me to begin with #night is an absolute mess on main

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tarantula-hawk-wasp · 2 years

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Feel bad complaining but I don’t handle loneliness and the loss of structure from school well

#and usually I like talk to my mom about these things even tho she’s unhelpful and tbh not very reassuring but like I usually talk to her #emotional support BUT rn I 1. don’t want to make a big deal out of the fact it wasn’t economically feasible for me to fly home and make her #feel guilty and also 2. it makes me feel worse to call home rn bc my brother drove home for thanksgiving so it’s like the rest of the family #is doing things together #3. she keeps nagging me about studying and applications for things and I’m like lady I’m in a mental health spiral I don’t want to write #emails but like I had to make myself anyways and like #my sleeping and eating schedule is a hot mess rn #and like I have so much on my to-do list and I’m doing so little of it bc I’m not sleeping well and then sleeping in and th #and then during the day I’m not focusing at all and I’m wasting so much time on stupid distractions bc I’m kind of sad and anxious #and like yes mental health is important but I’m in grad school I don’t have time for mental health and also like it would benefit my mental #health to clean my apartment and yet #anyways #IM FINE REALLY I PROMISE IM FINE #and I also am having a lot of social anxiety so I’m not even enjoying texting friends as much as usual #IDK it’s just like a lot mentally and I’m not thriving #I’m going to watch tv and bake a small pumpkin pie and maybe do dishes #and like I’m making a thanksgiving dinner for One tomorrow and I love the food for thanksgiving so that’s why I’m doing it but also #will I feel more depressed having my like dinner alone #again let me reiterate I’m Fine I’m just a little lonely and like it’s Fine #like I called home bc I was lonely and my dad was telling me about how my brother drove home today and is out with my mom and grandma rn and #like hm I faked cheer but i almost started crying

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amphitritie · 4 years

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ignore //

#void screaming #kind of want to check w the drs about upping the dose bc i havent been able to concentrate properly and im getting bad intrusive thoughts #more n more frequently #or am i just overacting bc ive had a bad day and want to *** myself lmao #ughgh #i dont want to get more zoned out n Grey tho which would probably happen if it went up #i just. idk. i think maybe i want a quick fix solution bc things are hard rn.#the dosages they prescribe seem almost random tho tbh #they probably wont take me seriously unless i relapse tho lmaooooooooo fucking irony #anyway i just wanted to try n make sense of my head. which isnt happening today.#at the moment im keeping clean bc i would feel bad using one of the communal kitchen knives but eeeehhhhh #it would be so much easier to relapse lol #why do i pretend im stronger than this.#ugghgjkkd ignore my self pitying whiny mess #im fine i promise

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simpcxty · 3 years

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You said you needed ideas so hear me out-

Sfw- trans! Reader (ftm) with Tsukishima who gives tough love and hates it when you have really bad dysphoria days. Snaps at anyone who misgenders you.

NSFW- oikawa would be such a tease when you get needy and shit. Like this fucker would tease you after you beg because he told you to beg.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! You have given me brain fuel, and for that. I love you 🧡

I have never written something in one day. Thank you, you have truly inspired me 😩👏

TW for Tsukishima: deadnaming and misgendering, deadname is your choice, but Y/n will be for your new name and Y/d/n for your dead name because no dads are mentioned here. Gets a little angsty but they figure it out.

I didn’t want to be disrespectful to anyone and choose a name that might be someone’s new name or dead name.

Also I’m sorry if my writing isn’t accurate for a ftm character. I did my best and I really hope you like it!

I did my best with the tough love but it does get a bit fluffy tbh.

Kei Tsukishima

Kei always tries.

He really does. You guys had started dating before you came out, and the switch from your dead name to Y/n had him caught off guard.

So did the sudden shift of pronouns.

But he didn’t leave, so he was trying to do his best all right?

But he’s already bad with emotions, these are a different kind that he doesn’t even know how to approach.

So he gives it the same energy he does with everything else.

Today though.

Something was very odd about today.

His normal words had you flashing him your best fake smile and turning away from him.

And trust me, he could tell the difference.

But for now, he chose not to comment.

Will it be one of those days today?

You didn’t like to talk about your Dysphoria but Kei always picked up on it.

Or at least he tried to.

He even had a custom made chest binder coming in the mail that should be here any day now.

But when you leave the room after Kei’s not incorrect but painfully blunt statement went straight to your very soul.

He replays the conversation in his head to see where he messed up.

He found himself doing that a lot.

‘I get that you’re trying Kei. It just sucks that other people don’t even bother.’

‘I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal. They’re stupid people who don’t even matter at least I’m trying. Imagine if I wasn’t?’

It made you question everything.

Did he even want to be trying?

Why are you being a nuisance?

Why are you putting him through this. He’s got much more important things to be focusing on as a senior in college this year.

You’re finally being true to yourself and putting him through unnecessary stress aren’t you? What is wrong with you?

All of these thoughts and more swarmed your head as you leaned against the bathroom counter trying to catch your breathing.

Stop it. Stop being such a big crybaby.

Kei Tsukishima doesn’t need a crybaby.

Why does it have to hurt so damn bad to just be a girl? He’d like you so much more as a girl.

“Y/n..?” His voice sounds so tired.

Damn it Y/n. Get your fucking shit together.

“Please talk to me.. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that babe.. I just-“ his eyes almost seem dull when you open the door, only to brighten when you open the door and he gets a good view of you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that, I just- I don’t, I don’t know how to handle this sometimes, but I don’t want you to think I don’t care. It’s just new, and I can get adjusted-“ he feels his heart clench a bit when your next words come out.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t just stay who I was, I’m sorry I couldn’t just be a girl for-“ and he’s grabbing your face with his palms as tears start to well up in his eyes.

“Shut up. Shut up, because I love you however I can have you. I love you. I just want you, please don’t get confused and think I have a preference because I just want you Y/n. I love you, no matter who you are. Please don’t forget that.” The tears streaming down your face slow as he kisses your head and wraps his arms around you.

“Im sorry Kei.” He kisses your head again.

“Shh, stop it. Stop apologizing. You have nothing to apologize for babe, we do need to finish getting ready for class though okay?” You nod and he smiles.

———

When you get to school, he can almost feel the anxiety wafting from you.

But he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around you and pull you along with him.

“You have me, okay? I’m just as much yours as you are mine babe.” You nod and expect him to pull him arm away, and he does, only to entangle his hand in yours.

“Tsukishima!” No- because he recognizes that annoyingly high pitched voice, and he’s not in the mood for it. Nor will you be.

So he picks up speed. Keeping his hand tight around yours and pulling you in front of him, only to wrap his arms around you slightly and speed up even more.

“Kei what are you doing?” You think he’s going to ignore you until he speaks up finally.

“Don’t want to deal with her.”

“Y/d/n can you-“ he stops right in his tracks and turns around to acknowledge the blonde.

“Alisa is it? See how easy was that? I wasn’t even sure. You know for a fact that isn’t the proper name that he goes by. So correct yourself, or don’t talk to my boyfriend or me. Got it?” She goes to speak again but Tsukishima already has you two walking again and his ears are flushed.

“Tsuki-?” You’re blushing and he tightens his grip on your waist.

“It wasn’t right, I’ll correct anyone who gets it wrong. Even myself.” You smiled and he manages to crack a small one.

Kei Tsukishima always tries.

———————————————————————

NSFW CONTENT AHEAD

I didn’t know if you still wanted a ftm character so this one is just written female.

READ RESPONSIBLY PLEASE

Characters aged up 18+

“Beg.” You scoffed.

“I don’t beg.” Your hips are rising as he pressed his thumb harder against your clit and you whimper.

“I won’t do anything more until you beg.” You rolled your eyes and attempt to sit up. Only for him to wrap a hand around your throat and push you back down.

“Toru, I don’t beg-“ he tightens his grip around your throat and you whine.

“I said, beg.” The way he demands it in your ear has your thighs attempting to clam shut.

Key word, attempting.

“Are you gonna listen to a single thing I say princess? Or am I gonna have to leave you here like this?” You looked up at him desperately and his grip around your neck loosens a bit.

“Please, please just fuck me already. I need it Toru, it’s been too long please just do it already-“ you’re cut off with whines as his tip prods at your entrance, but the pressure on your clit is still hard and you know he’s waiting for more.

“Please! Please fuck me! I need you Toru please!” He chuckles and pushes in agonizingly slowly.

“Like you said babe, it’s been too long. I need to go easy on your pretty pussy.” You whine at that.

“Don’t want you to go easy- just fuck me rough please!” Tears of frustration pool in your eyes and he laughs.

“Awe, don’t cry princess, I’ll give you what you want. You begged so nicely.” The sudden snap of his hips has you unable to respond to his taunt.

Yeah so what you begged. You’re getting dicked down by this god of a man. I’d say that’s a win.

His hands were both on your hips now as he thrusted into as if his life depended on it.

“Missed you so much.” He whines and a particularly hard thrust has you reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck.

The new position has you sliding down on his dick so much easier, and the way he can just lift you up and down quickly has him whining more.

“M’gonna cum. Off.” He whimpers as you tighten and start to lift yourself off and grabs your hips. He’s never cum so fast but you don’t mind.

“T-Toru-!” He gasps as you tighten more and his hips thrust up desperately.

“Nevermind, I wanna cum inside. Please, please let me cum inside. You feel so good, just wanna cum inside your warm pussy hnngh~ please!” His hips are starting to falter and you know he’s getting closer as his hands tighten around your waist, lifting you up and down to meet with his sloppy thrusts.

“Please!” He’s begging and you almost laugh.

“Oh god please, just wanna cream inside you please!” He has to stop thrusting and you’d almost think he did cum.

But you knew better. His nails digging into your hips and his ragged breathing against your neck has you melting.

“Did you even really have to ask? Just cum babe.” Your words are so nonchalant that he’s whining and picking up his thrusts again.

“fuckfuckfuckohfuckyes” his voice is messy and it’s almost gibberish.

But as you tighten around him and his hips falter he’s moaning and whimpering into your chest and neck.

“So tight, ngHh shit~” he moans whorishly as you cum around him and cum spurts out of him and into you.

“You fuck me so good. So so good Y/n.” His hips are still sputtering and you’re wondering just how long it’s been since he’s actually gotten off.

“Thank you, Thank you so fucking much baby.” His cum is already spilling out of you and he’s still finishing.

This’ll be a fun cleanup.

He finally lays you down on the bed and lays his head in between the valley on your chest as he catches his breath.

“You begged.” He wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer, making you whimper while he stays inside of you.

“Do I need to remind you how you sounded when you wanted to cum Toru?” His head shoots up at that and his cheeks flush.

“But you’re so warm. So tight and comfy. I didn’t and still don’t want to leave.” He whines and wiggles his hips upward and you whimper. You can’t help but clench as he thrusts up again and whines again.

He keeps up the occasional thrusts. Neither of you have the energy for a second round. That much is obvious. But the bliss is overwhelming.

“Don’t want to pull out yet. Please don’t make me.” He whines and you just clench around him to tease.

“Fuck. Don’t do that. M’still hard and I’m ninety percent sure if you keep doing that I’m gonna stuff your already full pussy again.” You hummed and he wraps his arms around you.

“Empty threats. We’re both too tired, you know we’ll just go again when we wake up.”

“I’m gonna get you pregnant.” He says it confidently, you couldn’t even laugh at the statement. Because he probably and most definitely will.

“I mean if that’s what you want, I wouldn’t mind having a little Oikawa running around.” Almost all his stamina is back in that moment.

Congratulations you have unlocked

Breeding King with Toru Oikawa 🔓

Neither of you ended up sleeping that night.

#oikawa smut #tsukishima fluff #ftm reader #haikyuu!! smut #slight angst #body dysphoria #tsukishima angst #god theyre so pretty

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franeridart · 3 years

Text

Anon said: [Spoilers for non-manga readers] opinion on Baku's hero name?

Very Bakugou, honestly don’t mind it at all! Mostly just surprised it’s, like, legal in the bnha universe for heroes to call themselves stuff like explodo-kills (and also that there isn’t a character limit for hero names??) but that Bakugou would stick with it is pretty damn in character for him so I like it xD still, I’ll probably just call him Dynamight if I’ll ever need to use his hero name lmao

Anon said: not to be the most romantic sap but uh just a kiss by lady a is killin me

Nothing sappy about letting romantic songs get to you!!!! I say, as I’m constantly crying over romantic songs so this mindset benefits me as well lol

Anon said: i may or may not have stumbled across some of your older kiribaku art, the stuff with akane, and she's the best child oc tbh. i actually like her and i tend to not be a fan of child ocs but she's just the cutest darn thing 🥰

I’m so glad you like her!!!!! She was a lot of fun, what a good gremlin ;;;

Anon said: uve heard of dragon!kiri w his hair spikes up, now get ready for dragon!kiri w his hair dowm lookin like the softest boy

AW HECK I think I’ve drawn him in the past, actually!!!! Spike-haired Kiri will forever be my fav Kiri, but there’s just something about hair down Kiri isn’t it!! What a cute boy ;;;; all sharp edges and soft curves, what a lovely sight

Anon said: can i just say your itafushi art is so cute? these two already make me feel and then your art just (つω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

THANK YOU SO MUCH I really need to draw them more, don’t I! goge kinda monopolized my attention there, but the way itafushi makes me feel..........boy the way they make me feel ;;;;

Anon said: good day, poké au thought: 12 y/o bakugo somehow catches a dreepy as like his 2nd pokemon and never questions it

WHY NOT WHY NOT I have a whole team in my mind for the boy tbh but dreepy is so cute ;;;; and anyway, I like my poke!bakugou with as many dragon types as he could possibly get his hands on hahaha

Anon said: Please know that, amongst other factors, you were one of the maon reasons I stsrted Jujutsu Kaisen two days ago and there isnothing more to say except thank you and I'm absolutely in debt with you for that, thank you so much 😍

I’m so so SO glad you’re liking it!!!!!! It can get kinda heavy but it’s such a great story.... honestly I’d been wanting to start it since I saw the first pv for the anime all the way back last year but I was like, you know it’s a mappa anime! so I wanted to watch the anime as a new thing, cause I love mappa, but three episodes in I couldn’t hold back and just binged it. It’s kind of story that just makes you wanna drink it all in one go, isn’t it? so good so good

Anon said: makeup artist kirishima and model bakugo or makeup artist bakugo and model kirishima? :0c

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm can’t say I see either of them much into fashion tbh, but if I had to pick probably model Kiri and artist Baku? I just don’t think Baku would be able to stay still enough to get photographed, and he wouldn’t like the photographer bossing him around anyway, and catwalks would be impossible for him to stomach imho, he’s too restless for it! At least it’s the way I see it haha

Anon said: fdgdhdkfhdafs i had a thought, what if bakugo prefers dogs and kirishima prefers cats and when they meet each other and become friends it's like, "oh." because they have some striking similarities to their fave animals

That’s been my headcanon for a while now, actually!! I think for me it came from two characters in a manga I like that are a lot like a dog and a cat but have inverted fav animals and when I read about that I was like “oh, right, makes sense since they like each other” and then my brain turned it krbk because when does it not lmao

Anon said: your art is the soothing balm to my soul recently, thank you for posting so much beautiful content. i hope you have a lovely week. ♡

sob thank you so much, I’m glad my doodling can help you feel better ;; <3

Anon said: Friendly reminder anon from last time: that post I left last time I had only eaten 7 gingersnaps that day and hadn’t drank any water. So that encouraged me to actually self care. Thank you.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well I hope you’re taking care of yourself today too! And as fair trade, I’ll do the same myself! <3

Anon said: Hi! I'm an artist and I'm thinking of making a sideblog for my art. Do you have any tips?

Ah man, I’m sorry but I’m not the best person to ask this to! I started this sideblog cause I had too many followers on my main and I didn’t want my stuff to be seen by that many people at first, so whatever I did probably isn’t what you’re looking for :( but really there isn’t much to it, just post whatever you like to draw, tag it as best as you can (but remember that only the first five tags appear in the search page) and be patient, since whatever you do at first you won’t get much attention anyway - the only real advice I can give is to draw something that makes you happy and that you’d draw anyway even if no one were to see it, it’ll make keep posting despite a possible lack of activity a lot easier!

Anon said: Your goge art🥺🥺

I just love them so much ( TT’’’TT)9

Anon said: how the fuck have i not been following you? I remember seeing your bakushima art in the bnha tag and always thinking it's so cute. Now you're into JJK too??? and the satosugu art??? fuckin, diabetes incarnate. I love it. I love you. Your art 10/10. I'm tired lmao.

WELL thank you for the follow!! And for thinking my stuff is cute!!!!! I do my best with that, I want all the soft things for my favs 😌

Anon said: Are you gonna draw Gojou/Getou comic?? 👉🏻👈🏻 WOULD LOVE TO READ IT

you mean an actual doujin? I don’t think I will, sorry! I’m really no good at long projects orz but thank you so much for wishing to read something like that from me!!! ;A;

Anon said: Hello! YOUR ART IS SO FREAKING GORGEOUSSSS!!! I love them so much!! If I may ask you one question. Between Getou amd Gojou, who do you see as top/bottom? Just curious

THANK YOU!!!!! And I honestly don’t care as long as they’re happy and together!!! please let them be happy and together 🙏🙏🙏

Anon said: i want you to know!!! i followed you for your kiribaku art but!!! i love your art so much that idc what you post because it's all just!!!! incredible and wonderful and stunning!!!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!! this means a lot to me so seriously thank you so much!!!!

Anon said: d'you think bakugo has like headaches or migraines after training or battles because of how loud his quirk is? like, i listen to music slightly too loud and my head is sending me to hell. (unless you go with the hoh hc which is also 👌)

I like to think Baku’s body is attuned enough to his own quirk that he wouldn’t get drawbacks of the kind tbh, though that wouldn’t be a bad thought for when he just starts to increase the output/width and strength of his explosions............ well, I myself suffer from chronic headaches and migraines so I’m always up for projecting on my favs ngl lmao

Anon said: so like... dragon kirishima's eyes glow right? like, if we equate his dragon-ness to unbreakable his eyes glow? they also glow when he's half shifted? honestly i just live glowing eyes

Oh hell yeah I’m all for that, definitely definitely, I love glowing eyes with my whole heart and Kiri’s eyes in unbreakable are just so!!!!!! NGH *chef kiss* the more of unbreakable there is in his dragon form the happier I am ( TT^TT)9

Anon said: me, scrolling through your blog: ah shit guess im gonna have to start watching jjk

!!!!! hope it won’t hurt you too much, anon!!

Anon said: dragon!kiri and bakugo having a tug-of-war match over a piece of meat. both have it in their mouths. both are determined to win.

Kiri is turned into his dragon form and Baku still wins, hell yeah

Anon said: your satosugu is top tier!! it's hard to find stuff for them that isn't straight up angst so your art has been super cool and also very very cute!! (tho if you went with angst, it wouldn't be a bad thing obviously)

AH I’m so happy to hear you like them!!!! but also happy you wouldn’t mind angst, as I do like them the best happy and soft but my brain, my brain has been throwing sads my way for a while now 👀 I got some ideas

Anon said: What program/device do you use??

Easy Paint Tool SAI and a wacom intuos!! Though I got myself an ipad+procreate just yesterday and I’ve been messing around with it, let’s see how that one goes!

Anon said: *inahles* i am simping for mohawk man please tell me everything about your ocs immediately or i will detonate

THANK YOU FOR LIKING HIM HE’S CALLED DAVIDE Dav for short, he’s a cat of a man and a music instrument enthusiast (mostly string ones, but he’s very good with the piano as well) - he works in a music instruments store, and he’s a uni student majoring in philosphy! He doesn’t like bothersome things, he isn’t very good at taking anything seriously or putting effort in stuff, but he’s very chill to spend time with and generally a nice chat both if you want mindless thoughts or deep conversations (he’s a philosophy major after all). He can’t sing for shit, he’s got two cats (tago and schelly!), and he just wants a quiet life to laze around but all his friends are hurricanes in human bodies, but then again, he picked them himself so he can’t complain. He’s a good boy!! I’m planning a comic for him and his boy Ross >:]

#fran answers #SORRY FOR THE DELAY #i wish i could say i was busy but actually i just got distracted #ah also #jjk spoilers #cause my sis has a habit of readin my asks and she can't know about the otp just yet #lol #is the readmore for this showing? this is pretty damn long....#long post #just to be sure

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that-one-weeb-but-it-transformer · 3 years

Text

𝔻𝔸𝕋𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝕌𝕃𝕋ℝ𝔸 𝕄𝔸𝔾ℕ𝕌𝕊 𝕎/ ℍ𝕌𝕄𝔸ℕ ℙ𝔸ℝ𝕋ℕ𝔼ℝ (𝕋𝔽ℙ)

Hes one of my favorites not sorry

-guess who got spotted? Ultra Magnus

-well we're taking you back to the base

-he found you extremely childish and it annoyed him to a T

-And of course Optimus appointed him as your partner

-yay for him-

-Once he actually- finally- for god saken- took the time to actually get to know you, he didnt find you as annoying

-you were being bullied one day outside the school and the bulky threw you into the side of Magnus' alt mode- the door suddenly went flying open must've been a bad bolt

-Not to long after the same group of bullies keyed Magnus' alt form:

"Aw shes gonna cry!" One of the boys teased.

"Why? Did your sugar daddy tell you if you wreck it you'll actually have to do something for them." Another spoke.

"Aw. I knew she was a-"

The thrid boy was grabbed by the throat as his hands clawed at the wrist of the teen who held him, causing the other two to back up slightly.

"Touch any of my shit again and I'll bury you myself."

She threw him to the side, catching himself on his feet he held his neck with a hand, gritting his teeth he glared at her.

"Who do you think your talking to!?" He argued, catching the attention of kids near by.

She turned to look at him just to be punched in the face falling to the floor from the sudden force that knocked her off her balance.

"Dude! The hell! Your gonna get us in trouble!" One of the boys shouted.

The teen ignored him toppling over Y/n straddling her stomach, as he delivered brutal puches to her face. Kids started to gather cheering on the male as Y/n pushed him off her and return the favor, causing and either louder up roar."

"I told you!" She shouted punching him in the face.

"Don't!"

A broken nose

"Touch!"

A black eye

"My!"

A busted lip

"Shit!"

Her final blow was stopped when teachers pulled them apart.

"You broke my nose!" The teen cried.

"Well then go cry to your mom who I fucked last night!"

-Did Magnus just see what he thought? The seemingly innocent cheerful girl looking more scarrier than a decepticon out with a bloodlust

-he waited until you were able to come out- even though the kids had informed him via comn link she'd go home with her parents- you came out alone, him being the only thing there:

"I don't want to go with you today Magnus."

"I'd prefer if you did come with me." Magnus stated

Y/n frowned as she looked at the deep key job.

"Im not allowed back for a week."

"I figured so."

The door opened as Y/n only followed as she hopped in.

-did he- did he just be n i c e?!

-Instead of taking you to the street corner as usual he took you. He drove you around, mindlessly

-you ended up falling asleep so he took you back to base, unknowing of what to do with you, he he held your small form in his large servo, luckily nurse June had showed up sometime before to help with something and she was able to lay you down on the couch.

-Optimus has asked what happened as you were littered with brusies and cuts, Magnus explained and took full blame but Miko backed him up

-Magnus said one of the humans should contact Y/n's parents- Nurse June looked worried as she knew you were lacking in the depart of family.

-so she advised to keep her in base saying , "well if they didnt even bother to pick her up why worry right?

-Everyone found that extremely off as a cover June said: "well you like her right? She'll tell you whats wrong?"

-Arcee choked at that sentence, Ratchet actually laughed, wheeljsck was given ammo to fuel is annoyingness, Bulkhead was extremely uncomfortable, the two youngsters were like "hold up" and Optimus like a proud dad- brother- figure thing- smiled to himself

-Magnus was completely embarssed but kept it under wraps.

-miko was completely shocked when she figured it out

-"Magnus go scout" "thank you sir"

-you woke up to a dark room looking around you seemed to be on a cot, and Ultra Magnus was sleeping in the berth above you- wait- WHERE YOU IN HIS ROOM?!

-He woke up as soon as he heard you wake up.

-it was only silence at first, but he ended up thanking you in a way, saying it was arrogant but brave of you

-you thanked him for helping you as well

-cue the speaking at the same time

-confession was kinda werid tbh:

"So..." y/n spoke.

"Suppose you know about me then? All of it?" Y/n asked, "Im sure Nurse Darby told you."

"No, nothing was said about you." Magnus spoke.

"Oh...good...good."

It was silent for a few mintues the air thick and the only thing used as a light source was Magnus' bright optics.

"If you wish you can tell me." Magnus informed.

"Right..." y/n breathed in, "My uh mother...she died while I was being born....my dad commited a murder-suicide, he said it was my fault in his will."

"I am sorry." Magnus spoke softly then paused for a long second, "How do you do it?"

Y/n looked up at him, "do what?"

"Your as enetergic and as arrogant as Rodimus, your sparks would be one in the same." Magnus told, "but your well rounded as if you were a high ranking assistant to Alpha Trion. Then you deal with what would take most well trainned mechs off the feild."

Y/n shrugged, "I suppose..." y/n paused, "I dont want anyone else to leave me, it's tiring being alone."

Magnus answered awfully quick, "I would never leave you, you have too much meaning in my life."

-Woah wait! He didn't but did mean that!

-you ended up asking who Rodimus was and you both talked through the night.

-you guys were closer than ever after that

-he attempted to tell you out more straight forward but failed for a while

-when he finally told you- you were all like: Oh I know

-cue dating??????? Poor man hes so confused

-nothing changed much he loved being with you either way- with dating he just became more and more worried for each other

-Acree has extreme suspicions of you two

-you guys were going good, open with one another and honest, it was a pretty loving relationship

-that "Im Lutenit" shit dont slide with you

-you guys like driving in the rain, he especially like it if you've calmed down from a hetic week and fell asleep getting the resr you deserve

-when he lost his hand in combat and had it replaced with a new one you went to a tattoo shop and asked for stitching as if someone has stiched your fingers back together, you proceeded to go up to Magnus afterwards and tell him you guys were just alike now

-He got angery you hurt yourself- well he thought you hurt yourself- he couldn't stay mad at you

-Guess who squared up on the predaking? You and this is how it happened:

Magnus had been knocked to the side with the two wreckers. You who had came our from behind a Boulder shouted at the dino-mechanism

"Hey You!"

The giant beast looked towards you, "yeah you!"

Rushing its way over it screeched in Y/n's face, "Oh blow it out your ass!"

The schreeching stopped as Y/ns arms crossed

"How dare you!-" and you raged ON.

-The predaking is now warry of the autobots

-Wheeljack was given even more ammo to mess with Ultra Magnus now knowing you two were dating

-except Ultra Magnus to see you in a whole knew light of being a strong hooman and finding it absolutely memorizing and beautiful

#tfp headcanons #ultra magnus #Ultra Magnus tfp #transfomers prime #transformersprimeultramagnus

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