#im just PISSED and sad at all the negativity :( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gavisimmaculaterizz · 1 month

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bb can u write something like jude coming home from practice and being angry, mad or something, and just storming off in his room, and later on (female) reader falls asleep on the couch teary eyed bcz she doesn't know what she did wrong

— bother / jude bellingham.

summary: jude cant hold in his anger from losing his match, resulting in a distant jude.

warnings: a bit of angst ??

masterlist

as the final whistle blew, distant whistles and boos came from the santiago bernabéu. the night in madrid was cold, the huge loss of the white giants filled the madrid air with coldness. as fans exited the stadium, jude proceeded to go to the locker room furious. he couldn’t help but feel anger, not being able to help his team out with at least scoring a goal. he disappointed the fans, maybe even his girlfriend. he mentally cursed himself out for not showing his potential, preparing for the hate he’d get on twitter by fellow madridistas.

meanwhile at the comfort of your shared apartment, you couldn’t help but feel a bit of sadness watching your boyfriends team lose heavily. you turned off the television, feeling sadness wash over you, over the terrible result in the bernabéu that just happened moments ago. you hated seeing your boyfriend sad, knowing these type of losses affected him heavily.

a couple hours later, the noise of bags falling echoed around the silent home. you ran to jude, excited to hug him and welcome him in. when reaching the tall british, you were welcomed with a cold and distant jude. “hey babe how was your game?”, you asked your boyfriend. upon your question, jude’s facial expression changed heavily. “what do you mean how was my game? did you even pay attention to what just happened?”,he asked furiously. his words hit you like a cold dagger that was plummeted into your heart, dry and distant, with a hint of anger still lingering in his voice. “do you want to talk about it?”, you asked trying to console your boyfriend. his words broke you, all you tried to do was ask if his game went okay, even though you’d know what his response would be. “no, god just leave me alone— you’re such a bother y/n.”, jude stated furiously. he quickly stormed off to your shared room, shutting the door loudly, letting you know to not even step foot into the room. your heart broke, you couldn’t contain your tears anymore.

you ran to your living room in tears, only seeing blurriness, and tasting the saltiness water streaming down your face. you mentally cursed yourself out feeling guilty for making him angry, even though it was not your fault at all. you knew he was a bit pissed off from his game still , but you never meant to provoke him even more than he was. you laid down on your sofa, grabbing a blanket and covering yourself completely. you wanted to give him space, let him cool down a bit.

meanwhile in your little bubble, your thoughts raced, ‘was it my fault for making him angry?’ you kept sobbing, overloading yourself with these negative thoughts. you let yourself cry until you couldn’t anymore. all you let out were heavy breaths which occupied the quiet home. with all the crying, it made you sleepy, and you couldn’t help but doze off into the night sky. you would soon be awaiting your boyfriends apology in the morning.

but was he right about you being a bother..?

a/n: i kind of tweaked it a bit anon!! also this is my first fic so im mentally cringing at myself bc im not used to this 🙁, so i hope yall like it

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham x you #real madrid #jude bellingham angst

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tteokdoroki · 9 months

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Aali!!!! I was gonna put this in the tags of your training scenario but got shy :(

but i immediately thought of Gojo!! And like he's not surprised you flipped him over due to you're strength, he has no doubts about how strong you are but it's the fact that he trusts you so much he unconsciously turned off his infinity for you <3 so now he's like !!!!!! because what!!!! but also you're on top of him and you look so pretty so now he's short circuiting double the amount!!!!

Like !!!!!!!! my brain is going crazy thinking about it - 🍓

☆༉ — SATORU GOJO. neither strong, nor weak - just in love.

about. combat training with gojo makes him realise just how strong you really are. inspired by this silly post i made yesterday, it wasn’t meant to become a whole thing but it did and now it’s…sad. im sorry. also pls don’t be shy ily :(

warnings. minors, ageless and blank blogs do not interact. sfw, angst, mutual pining, slightly unrequited romance, mentions of violence (they’re combat training), death mention, canon!verse, gn!reader.

you’re pissed.

over the years satoru’s seen a colourful array of emotions splayed against your features. he’s seen joy, laughter, happiness — all of which are his favourites. he wishes he could have seen them more. but also sadness, anguish and a pain so deep he felt like he was dying right alongside you.

he’s died once before, nearly, but it never could have compared to the feeling he got when you looked at him with pure hatred. because gojo had been the one to hurt you, then.

you’ve never been one to hold grudges, you’re too good of a person for the world to hold anyone in such a negative light for way too long — but when you do experience these emotions, you feel them all too much and all too hard and everyone can see it too. maybe that’s why gojo picks up on your spike of anger so easily during training today, it could be the sick reason behind how much he’s enjoying you being pissed off too.

because you wear your heart on your sleeve and your emotions on your face, so gojo knows exactly how he makes you feel — all of the time. “c’mon sweetheart, don’t lose focus. don’t you wanna beat me?” he taunts you, a cocky smile stretched over his lips as he dodges each of your blows, though the shades over his eyes hide the admiration he has for you.

“fuck you.” you spit back harshly, as if the words scald your tongue. shifting your weight onto your back foot, you take a chance and swing your leg up high, just narrowly missing the silvery mop of satoru’s hair where his infinity goes up to protect him.

for gojo, it’s easy for things to lose their meaning, slipping away from him like fine grains of sand through his fingers. at times when he should, he finds himself without a care — it’s easier to walk through life not giving a shit than to tie emotions to actions, people and places. if the strongest cares too much then people have to die. that’s why the wielder of the six eyes holds you to such high regards. you’re strong because you’re able to care — no matter what’s in your path or who might stand in your way, and what they might make you feel, you are able to be strong for those in need.

you feel what satoru can’t.

“i’ve been waiting all day for that, honey.” he quips back, lifting his shades just a little to bare the full brunt of your aura through his technique. “c’mon, let’s put in a little more effort, shall we? if i were a curse, you’d be dead by now.”

everything gojo sees is magnified by one hundred, he could detect the smallest of changes no matter how close or far he was from you — and being able to witness frustration build up in your core along with stacks of your cursed energy elicits a pleasant reaction out of him. his head flops to the side, almost bored, despite how the corner of his lips quirk up into a lopsided grin. satoru loves how you’re just teeming with anger, from the top of your head right down to your toes — spreading into your fingertips as your cursed energy balls powerfully around your fist.

and even though he catches it between his larger hands, the thin invisible veil of his infinity quite literally stopping you from killing gojo — he can still feel that you’re pouring your all into this, into him. even though you’re tired and dripping with sweat while your muscles burn so hot you fear they might melt away, you’re still trying. you still won’t give up. you’re still stronger than he ever could be.

and he’s practically a god.

“you would be the dead one if you didn’t have the cheat code to life.” rolling your shoulders, you step back with a menacing snarl and start again — fists flying in the direction of the six eyes as you’re fuelled by the passion of taking him down. making him hurt. people like gojo piss you off, their existence serving as a reminder that your life is not promised and every step you take is a sacrifice to help them live on. though deep down, you know that you don’t hate him for it. it’s nothing that he could have helped.

once again, satoru snags your fist before it can even leave a mark on him and draws you in by his infinity. for a moment, you’re scared that he might use it to repel you, harm you — he catches the flicker of fear in your eyes before you steel your nerves and keep on fighting even as he grabs at your wrists, sweeps your feet out from underneath you and pins you to the hard ground below.

leaning over your frame as you squirm beneath him, gojo tuts down at you in faux disappointment. “so sad, and here i was, thinking that you were strong enough to beat me.” he says, cruelly. “give up already, princess.”

in response, you bare your fangs and dig your nails into his wrists — not letting up. “i’ll give up when you’ve killed me.”

that makes satoru falter.

it’s only training, really, it shouldn’t even be that serious. but his mind can’t shake the idea of one day sacrificing you for the good of others. for everyone satoru gojo has ever cared about, there has been a day where he has to choose between letting them meet their end and protecting the jujutsu world. that’s the way it’s always been and always will be. it’s not that he thinks you’re weak, that you can’t handle yourself — you’ve proven yourself capable of that time and time again. you’re strong, physically and resilient in your emotions, mentally but you’re only human.

and humans don’t last as long as gods do.

seizing the opportunity at hand, you squeeze your thighs around satoru’s slender waist to switch your situation and rip your wrists free from his steady iron grip. so now, your positions are reversed, and he’s the one with his arms above his head — exposing all of his vulnerable vital organs. he could have easily kept himself in control and have you squirming below him for hours, but he lets you. he trusts you enough to let you prove yourself to him — just so he can have that moment, that lets you know that the great satoru gojo is not immune to the likes of you.

he is weak for you.

his infinity slips away unconsciously just as his back his the the floor with a dull thud — wisps of his snow white hair flying about the place with the motion. satoru lays still beneath you, unmoving like a tree rooted to its spot, and peers up at you through the thickness of his lashes. he watches how you try to control your surprise and how shocked you are at yourself for pinning him down — truth being told that if he didn’t have infinity to hide behind, if he was human, you probably would have been able to from the start.

“think again,” you breathe, the dip in your voice doing nothing to help satoru’s crazed mind and how insane he is for you. “princess.”

you’re so pretty like this. your eyes are frenzied and and astonished, your chest heaves with every breath you take in desperation to fill your lungs with air and your skin shines with light perspiration from your training. and even then, to satoru, you’re the most precious form of life he’s ever seen. a rarity amongst unpolished gems. every emotion you have right now is laid bare against your features, coursing through your veins and it’s because of him.

it’s nice like this, to feel weak in the knees and in the heart for someone. to be able to feel your pulse rather than see it as nothing but a flicker of a blue flame with blue eyes.

he wants to touch you, subconsciously reaching out to brush a thumb over your cheek. “you’re so beautiful.” satoru whispers, his voice low and uneven — causing goosebumps to rise over the expanse of your skin and a soft gasp to lay wet on your lips.

exasperated tears begin to well up in your eyes, sitting pretty in your lower lash line. you’re so angry at gojo and how you think he sees you but you don’t dare to push his hand away, instead turning your head to look elsewhere. you don’t want him to see you cry.

“turn your infinity back on. i could kill you.”

“you’re beautiful,” satoru repeats adamantly, not caring if he sounds like a broken record. “you’re strong. stronger than me.” you’re pissed at him too , for looking down at you. for all the things he’s said that hurt you without meaning to. your grip on his wrists loosen along with your hold on your emotions. “i wish i could be weak enough to love you.”

“i said turn it back on, gojo.”

“look at me, please.”

“gojo.”

“please.”

your shoulders sag with a shaky exhale, all of the fight you had leaving you as you sit on top of him — looking down at him. “what?” comes your quiet mumble, not daring to flinch away as his thumb traces over your bottom lip without the gentle hum of his infinity.

“i love you.”

if you were at any other point in time, satoru’s words would have had you melting over him like butter in a pan. you would have been weak enough to say it back and let him overwhelm you with longing. because if this were any other point in time, you would have needed satoru gojo like you needed air to breathe. like you needed him to live.

but things are different now, there’s a concrete wall built around your heart to fortify it and you’ve grown to become immune to him. like gojo says, you are strong and while you know that you always have been — hearing him admit that makes you realise you don’t want to prove your worth to him anymore.

you would much rather have him kill you instead.

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seaadc · 4 months

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hello!!! if you’re up for this, can i request any genshin men with a reader who feels like a horrible person because of things they’ve done in the past? i have a guilt complex lmaoooooo (i say lmao but it’s agony) (PEOPLE IN THE CROWD WITH A GUILT COMPLEX PUT YOUR HANDS UPPPP)

also this is a complete side note but i think this concept would be especially interesting with wrio since he’s always in the fortress or meropide, seeing people who have done wrong everyday in the fairly normal system (by jail standards) they have down there

guilt | wriothesley x reader

OH GOD THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY ASKS FOR A WHILE NOW IM SO SORRY MY NOTIFS ARE ALWAYS FILLED UP AND I DONT SEE ASKS ANYMOREEE T-T

angst w fluff at the end, soft!wrio, he’s comforting youu, gets a bit suggestive at the end, no pronouns used but reader is referred to as ‘my love’ and ‘princess’

it’s nothing to be concerned about really, if you were a criminal and probably rotting in the fortress of meropide for— archons knows how long, you would’ve just let your conscience be the death of you.

but you aren’t! your not sitting around and laying in the fortress of doom meropide, thank the archons.

though you can’t help but think if the seven are laughing at you, quite literally. your state isn’t so stable as it seems..

wriothesley, your partner, had called sigewinne ages ago to check on your health status. although it was all negative, the tests, the results, the examinations, all negative.

there wasn’t anything wrong with you, so why is there an aching pain in your stomach whenever your brain just relapses back to the past, the time where you had done such unforgiving sins, you couldn’t even do a whole statement word for word on what you had done to those poor victims.

one of them, someone special to you. someone special that you had lost because of your own carelessness, someone you had lost because you were being selfish, someone who you wished to cherish for a lifetime— though fate is mocking you unfortunately.

and the pain, the inkling pain deep inside that you cant ignore, it’s annoying. it’s frustrating. it’s … sad.

it’s a pity to see someone like you, a nice person who only wished to improve themselves and hope for a better future. yet it seems celestia didn’t approve.

your longtime partner, wriothesley, had been worried for you. ever since you met, you were always dozing off, not focusing, you looked uncomfortable yet he couldn’t pinpoint what was actually wrong.

it was starting to piss him off, really. the way you doze off when he talks to you, when you two spend time together and your too busy in your own little world to pay attention to him.

wriothesley had decided to sit you down, like what any partner would do when they encounter a misunderstanding or a mishap. communication is key after all.

he couldn’t ever forget the look on your face, the day where you looked at him with such pitiful eyes and regretful ones while he just stared back at you with a stern look.

he feels pity, wriothesley feels pity. someone like him shouldn’t, so what is this he feels?

“tell me what’s been bugging you for months, [name].” wriothesley takes a deep breath, then exhales as you sat there, fidgeting with your fingers. “i didnt get the chance to ask you back then, since it was your privacy after all, hm?” he spoke firmly, his voice laced with curiosity and the tone where he just wants to know the truth.

just tell him, it wouldn’t be so hard. he’s your partner after all, you have every right to tell him so. “[name], i’m doing this to help you. you’re someone extremely precious to me and i can’t help myself just seeing you look so lost.” wriothesley explains, sighing deeply as he waits for your response.

how would he react? he’s the all mighty scary wriothesley after all. he’s known to have less mercy and sympathy on others. why tell? you’ll just embarrass yourself, you thought to yourself.

but you couldn’t. you couldn’t keep a secret, especially towards him. if he was any other people, a stranger, you would’ve kept it till the end of your life. but he’s not just a stranger.

he’s your partner, your loved one, your everything. wriothesley is someone you can trust, someone you care for. is it really worth keeping a secret from him?

you took a deep breath, letting the air get past your nostrils. “i have.. committed alot of unforgettable things in the past, someone like you wouldn’t like. someone like you wouldn’t appreciate.” you confessed, looking down and avoiding your beloved’s longing stare.

wriothesley looks at you, tilting his head in confusion. you? doing things that he couldn’t possibly imagine? “ever since i’ve started to open up a new path to walk on, the guilt in my chest still pains me. it’s almost eating me whole.” you continue.

he smiles at you, not a happy smile, a faint sad smile. he’s quite joyful about how you were guilty, and not like any other person who wouldnt even feel the slightest bit of empathy to what they’ve done wrong in the past.

this is the [name] he fell inlove with. the honest, confident, firm, one. there was no denying that wriothesley was hopelessly inlove with you. and he finds it lovingly amusing.

“if you regret it, then it’s okay. you don’t have to be in debt of a thing you regret on doing. if you truly feel guilt, then it just means your improving and want to be a better person my love.” he smiles, standing up and walking over to your seat, crouching before you as you were forced to look at him.

wriothesley holds your chin, going up to caress your cheeks coated with a red flush. “it may be your fault or not, but there will always be a way to fight back the sins of the past. you can get through it, i know you can.”

“your the strong and confident lady i love after all, hm?” he says with a grin, which makes your already flustered enough face go even more red.

you smile tenderly as he continues to caress your cheek, you leaned into his touch as you hear him chuckle lowly. wriothesley stands up straight, his hand now on your head as he ruffles your soft and silky hair.

wriothesley smirks, a teasing one. which means he’s probably going to say something just to tease you and to lighten up the mood a bit. “besides, i’m the only one who’s allowed to eat you whole, princess.”

made by @seaadc and @seaadc only !!

laughinf bc i made this at exactly 1am LMFAOO (i’m mentally unstable)

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actualbird · 7 months

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do you think the nxx ever cries or just… don’t deal with their emotions in a healthy way? they must be so emotionally repressed!

im so sorry but this is worded in a way i find absolutely hilarious omfg. do they cry or do they suck it up til the end of time? KJAHVSJFHAVSLFSFKJA

i like to think they Do cry, but my god it takes a Lot. this goes for All of them. like, we've seen in canon when the nxx boys and rosa cries, and it's usually during/after very high stakes or very emotional situations. some examples off the top of my head are

marius cries in SSR Unconcealable, the card where mc gets KIDNAPPED and then both of them get TRAPPED IN A FREEZER FOR A HOT SEC

mc cries in SSR Peaceful Place because she thought luke got shot and DIED,

luke cries in his Blossom Chapter Personal Story 4 because he thought mc DROWNED AND DIED

artem cries in SSR Two Hearts as one because he got so emotional acting like he was choking mc

vyn cries in...well, several cards like SR False Tears and SSR Neon Melody but those were 1) not exactly a "healthy" way of dealing with emotions or 2) caused by pepper spray KJHVSKJDF. im behind on vyn's cards, idk in which ones he cries honestly due to genuine in distress

so like, they DO cry. but it seems to take rather a lot to get them there. the flipside is that they also cry when overcome with immensely positive emotion (like, mc was on the verge of tears when luke finally proposed in SSR Orange Scent) so at least theres that!!!! but it's not much, chief....

all members of the nxx team all are IMMENSELY repressed. i think the most emotionally healthy of the team is DAVIS, which isnt a good sign, given that hes not even human

anyhoo this ask inspired me so

here are some misc headcanons on the nxx team and crying

i hc that luke as a kid was Such a crybaby. he'd cry over everything: when he saw a sad movie, when he saw a happy movie, when he saw a dog being walked but the dog was so dang small, when mc cries and his high empathy kicks in to make it Our Cry Session, just...he cried over IT ALL. he was just a very emotionally sensitive child, even to emotions from others. he eventually got emotionally steadier as he grew up but i think there are innocuous movies that, due to him crying over them as a kid, still make luke cry as an adult

[nxx movie night]

marius: man i love this movie, absolute classi---WHY ARE YOU CRYING??

luke: because ANYBODY can COOK!! EVEN A RAT!!!!!

mc, silently glaring at marius over luke's shoulder as if to say "Don't You Say A Mean Word To Him Right Now": O_O

(yes, they were watching ratatouille)

vyn has mastered crying on cue and can do it at the drop of a hat, but when he REALLY TRULY ACTUALLY is hit by the genuine need to cry for any reason, be it positive or negative, he cannot stop it at all until its run its natural course.

which is just AGONIZING for him, surely, but this is the price he has to pay for the power of being able to cry on command: not be able to stop when it's for realsies

marius: HAHA, CRYBABY

vyn: //throws a book at him because just cuz he cant stop crying, doesnt mean he cant attack

it slightly pisses everyone off a teensy bit that artem can cry artfully.

like, the single tear. the lines of silent tears streaming down his face. even the more desperate sobs. doesnt matter whether theyre stage tears for another play or if theyre during high stakes situations, artem seems to naturally cry in a cinematic manner

artem: //shedding a few tears because of the stress of an nxx operation or something

luke: hey it's okay, everyone's alright

luke internal thoughts: why is he so pretty while crying?????? .....wait what

and lastly, marius can hold back tears like nobodys business. like luke, he was a huge crybaby as a kid. but unlike luke, he held it back so much that when he DID cry as a child, it was REALLY CRYING. like wailing, like sobbing. it's heartbreaking to watch

so via his Entire Life Of Repressing Weakness And Related Emotions, he became rlly powerful at holding back the need to cry. it only happens during VERY EMOTIONALLY INTENSE scenarios ORRRR

during horror movies

because hes such a horror weakling and he gets so spooked that tears literally come out

mc: how did that jumpscare make you tear up but not the intro scene to Up

marius, hiding behind a pillow to avoid any more jumpscares: im a man of endless mystery, miss

thank you for the ask :D

#asks #anon #tears of themis #tears of themis headcanon #luke pearce #vyn richter #artem wing #marius von hagen

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bioethicists · 11 months

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hi i hope you dont mind this question. i assume because you are anti psych/mad liberation (me too) you probably also get the pro psych reaction of "thats dangerous" and "its not all like that" and the accusation that acknowledging the fact that psychiatric and therapy "care" is so bad will make people quit that care and they will inevitably get worse and it'll be your fault? im an anti psych blogger and this really messes me up because my whole thing is that i DONT want mentally ill ppl to suffer, and thats the whole reason i AM anti psych. and i am afraid ppl will somehow be harmed by me telling the truth or making (evil!) generalizations about psych professionals, etc.

to me it seems incredibly reactionary, usually comes with a moral panic flavor, and is chock full of victim blaming cliches. it seems to me that it hinges on the fear and threat of 1. a Crazy person rejecting treatment and 2. a Crazy person rejecting authority, so again, it seems to be based mostly in stigma. and yet it does seem true and possible that ppl will be influenced in ways that turn out poorly and i dont want that to happen either. and yet again, framing it like "dont tell ppl what health care to pursue" is a misnomer since psych care is simply about social control... and that facade of health care just protects them from criticism in a bad faith way cause it makes you look anti vax adjacent and telling ppl not to see doctors. im not really interested in telling ppl what to do when it comes to accessing psych care, but my general analysis is that: is refusing psych care possibly dangerous? yes. is getting psych care also possibly dangerous? yes.

anyway the main question is if/how you deal with this. both intellectually and emotionally. cause i think its possibly the hardest part of sharing anti psych views in public. it makes me feel guilty and afraid. and i think making splicing disclaimers sucks and is stupid. so idk. thanks for reading.

first of all, i absolutely do experience this + it used to piss me off more than it does now but now it mostly makes me sad. i think you summed it up so well when you said that both refusing + seeking psych care can be dangerous.

part of it is that, the deeper i root into my belief in bodily autonomy, the more i stop punishing myself if someone takes a good faith, well-phrased assertion i've made + spins that into something harmful which i never said or intended. i am very deliberate to only spread information that pushes for expanding + critiquing methods of healing, stressing that my goal is to free people from suffering, not compound it.

i know that some people who are struggling with paranoia or self-destructive impulses read mad liberation talking points (often finding their ways to the more conspiracy fueled or recklessly phrased ones) + respond in ways that end up harming them, like cold-turkey going off antipsychotics or firing their entire treatment teams to take sketchy supplements. it does make me very sad that this happens, because like you said, i want these people to be happy + not suffer.

however, i rarely see comparable conversation about how people take the logics of the psych system and use THOSE to harm themselves. many people with similar traits to those who do what you are describing are just as likely to use the logics of psychiatry to punish themselves or distance themselves from others. they use 'coping mechanisms' punitively by becoming obsessed with 'clean' eating/dieting, organization/academics, being the Perfect Patient. they tell others + themselves that they are neurologically incapable of love or healthy relationships or pleasure. they isolate themselves because they believe they are fundamentally toxic or abusive. they dismiss their emotions as "just symptoms" + actively chastise themselves or try to train themselves out of experiencing any anger towards others or even any negative emotions at all. they admit themselves to psych wards frequently not out of a reasonable concern that they will hurt themselves or others but because they believe they belong in a psych ward any time they are experiencing symptoms. the list goes on.

all of that being said, i do experience genuine concern that people might read what i write + because of self-hatred or intense paranoia, read some sort of mandate or advice that isn't there + end up in more pain. because this exact thing also happens with psychiatry, which the naysayers you describe above are not concerned with, i don't think they're actually worried about hurting people. they are worried about Crazy people Not Getting Help. it comes from a place of paternalism + fear.

another, more positive aspect of it is that i do genuinely believe that many people are not being helped by their treatment teams but think they Have To be in therapy or in a hospital or on meds despite them not helping because that's What You Do. so they have been sitting around waiting for five years of therapy or their seventh ssri to start doing something meaningful. some of them just needed to hear: you don't have to do this; it might not be the right thing for you. i actually think these people are really well-served by hearing about anti-psych/mad lib stuff + them quitting therapy/meds/treatment ends up allowing them to look for other pathways for dealing with emotional suffering.

ultimately, i think mad liberation that focuses on true autonomy + total liberation of all peoples provides a clearer path forward for people to return from these places of intense paranoia or self destruction. i think we are all so used to being deprived of autonomy that, when we first get it back, we often stumble with it or try to provoke someone into taking it away from us. that is just going to continue to happen if we respond to it by making autonomy conditional. a LOT of us feel like we're not allowed to heal if it's not a moral mandate, so hearing that it isn't feels like nobody cares. we have to find new ways of showing that we care which don't involve exerting power over others.

#anti psychiatry #long n rambling sorryyy

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elhnrt · 5 months

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So I’m kinda new to drawing people, and it’s just SO hard. Do you have advice for tips on getting better at drawing people quickly?

I know ppl always say just draw more but MY PEOPLE LOOK LIKE PORRIDGE AND IT MAKES ME SO SAD….

Do you ever draw something and it turns out badly? How do you deal with it (emotionally)?

this has been sitting in my inbox for a while i've been thinking about how to best advise it and essentially it narrows down to: sorry anon, you're going to have to draw a lot and it's going to fucking suck until it doesn't, get used to it. sounds harsh but it's true. there will always be an ugly wip stage no matter what you do. trudge through the mud, dig through the shit to get to your diamond. get used to wading in your metaphorical shit.

"getting better at drawing people quickly" so this part made me think cuz i was liek does anon mean get better fast or draw people with fast methods and in that i have to say 2 things

you can't force expertise i'm sorry you're going to have to draw over and over and over and over and ad nauseam until you get the hang of that technique and then do that for everything ever in art until YOU are satisfied (<- THIS IS THE KEY! do YOU like the end result)

if you want to draw fast like physically fast then i highly suggest learning back/shoulder/arm stretches and do gesture drawing with a timer. whenever im art blocked and in a culvert of shit art, which happens all the time, i like to use this site https://line-of-action.com/practice-tools/figure-drawing

people watching is my best advice. go learn from real life. you don't even have to bring a sketchbook just watch how like people... are. move, talk, interact, their clothes, their walks, their gestures, all that.

also, your last part stuck out to me most so this will be the more from the heart section as opposed to Le art poster Advice. i draw bad every single day of my life, and have done so since i was in the single digits. there's a reason why my art folders are several gigs worth of content mostly unpostable. i have a moving box larger than me of all my sketchbooks since elementary. drawing pisses me off all the fucking time and i've been doing it for nearly 20 years. but are you gonna let a couple bad sketches stop you? you like drawing, right? you're just gonna stop and not just erase/crumple it up/scroll over and move on? <- that's how i deal with it.

i love drawing. if i don't draw i will, inevitably, go to a very very bad place, or do something i can't say lest i be reported. i have drawn in a mental ward with broken crayons, i've drawn on sidewalks and brick walls, i've drawn in sand, i've drawn in dust on car hoods, i've picked up pens and pencils and markers on the floor and drawn on receipt papers and plastic bags and shirts and books. if my right arm is gone, i'll draw with my left. if my arms are gone, i'll draw with my feet. if my limbs are gone, i will draw with my mouth. i recognize my shortcomings, and hate that i have to reconcile with the fact that i'll never be perfect right off, but despite that, i know it is inherent to the process, because I LOVE DRAWING! I LOVE DRAWING SO MUCH!!!!!! why spend so much time if you don't love the method and madness! i love creating a vision so unique to ME, and if people like it in the process, well, then isn't that all the better.

the positives outweigh the negatives forever and ever and ever. GO DRAW RIGHT NOW and do it AGAIN and AGAIN even if you hate it you WILL LIKE IT!

#ppppp #lenask #anonymous

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sqepfray · 2 years

Text

⚠️SPOILERS TO THE CUPHEAD SHOW SEASON 2⚠️

♤My view on Mugman

CAN WE JUST- Can we just acknowledge something for a second. Yall probably have acknowledged this but I just wanna mention:

Mugman is so much more protective, paranoid, anxious and just generally more tired in s1b that he gives up on Cuphead more easily. I mean he still tries to keep Cuphead out of danger but he doesn't try as hard as he used to in season 1. He also acknowledges almost everything as danger now probably cus of some trauma with the Devil and going to prison etc.

Also I literally cannot remember Mugman having like an actual good time in season 2, he was literally just anxious, angry, upset etc most of the time. Like I can remember so many times Mugman was happy in season 1.

Also Mugman is easier to snap in season 2, both in sadness and anger. He literally cries in almost all of the episodes and is almost always angry and have been going to doing irrational things more often.

So my view is, Mugman has gone through some actual character development and he's now just so damn tired with Cuphead's shenanigans that he doesn't even care what cuphead do most of the time anymore. I mean he still cares inside but he doesn't show it as much as in Season 1. Mugman just let's cuphead do whatever which really shows Mugman just needs a break. It's sad to admit that he really is just tired of Cuphead's mischief

♢My view on Cuphead

Mugman asides, do you guys think the reason Cuphead is so much more chaotic and troublesome in season 2 is because he's trying really hard to push all his negative emotions aside by replacing it with "fun times" like he literally looks for fun every second. Or maybe he's just being a mischievous dumbass that he always is. But he really does acts more chaotic and careless in season 2.

I mean at least he shows some character in season 1 but in season 2 he was just a mess. He was acting more childish. I'm probably looking into this too deep but I really feel like Cuphead was acting more irrational and careless in season 2. I mean it's Cuphead its no surprise and it's a comedy/kid show so it's normal for a character to just mess around 24/7

Tho despite his carelessness and how pissed I was with him in the episode "Another Brother" and the "Piano Lesson" episode. He does still show some care for Mugman which I really appreciate but he still never listens to Mugman. I hope he makes up to all the things he's done. I mean i know he's like a character that's not very aware of people's feelings etc but please can you at least give your bro a hug 😭😭😭 you've made him gone through so much I'm begging you cuphead 😭😭 I thought you were the one that should be traumatised cus your soul could be taken any moment but Mugman seems more traumatised than you 😭😭

Anyway this was just me ranting about the second season of TCS. Feel free to comment your thoughts :) also this meant no harm, I'm not hating on the writers or the characters this was just me putting my view on their behaviours.

I genuinely enjoyed the second season and I fucking love how assertive Mugman is in the second season AND IM SO MAD THEY LEFT US ON A CLIFFHANGER I LITERALLY GASPED SO LOUD WHEN THE CREDITS ROLLED I WAS LIKE "NO FUCKING WAY THEY JUST DID ME LIKE THAT" I WAS SO IN DENIAL 😭😭😭 anyway I can't wait for the third season and please continue to support them so we can see more of these precious cups :))

#cuphead #mugman #the cuphead show #cuphead and mugman #rant #spoilers

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silver-wield · 2 months

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lol someone said on twitter that they spoke with their jp friend and A was only telling cloud off? For Tifa? Because he should be careful of re-gifting stuff like that so easily? This bitch man..she acts like she knows him. She literally tells cloud that he's dense in her gsd. Like wtf? Dense? He literally kisses tifa. PERIOD. Tifa barely did anything and he pounced on her. The simp knows what's up. I really don't understand why anybody believes a word this dead chick says. Oh but because she's all pitiful and cutesy uwu (i don't think so, it's an insult!) That people would rather ignore her negative traits than go be bothered while playing the game. Even if she taunted cloud because she misses zack and she's pissed at those two hitting it off and her's is dead. That isn't a fucking reason to steal said guy nor to deliberately hurt your "friends" just for your gain you dumbass. Even this jp interpretation is shit too. IT'S NONE OF HER BUSINESS! ugh. Then you see all these articles about kitase saying they wanted to convey the feeling of "when loosing someone you love, you wish you treated them better" ...........UM , first of all a lot are deliberately misinterpreting the word love here, second this could be said ABOUT THE WHOLE PARTY, third this bitch should be the one to treat them better! Kind people who did their best while you wanted to fck them and ruin their chances with the girl he wants & guy she wants don't need to be kind to you! This is a manipulative tactic! This is toxic as fck!

You know what? At first I thought the devs understood she had a flaw, but now I'm not so sure anymore. Im glad cloud called her WEIRD A LOT! Tifa might tell him and he'll feel bad but that doesn't change the fact that, that is what he thinks of her and her cringy ass confession. This man is not as oblivious as people think he is. Sigh. I'm glad some in TLS are catching up but where we are with the majority, I fear we will still hear the "there's no way he didn't feel anything for the blah blah" because the eng localization isn't COMRADE. Wtf change Comrade for "why not?" So RETARDED I WANT TO CRY.

For the last time, why should the kind people feel bad for treating her "badly" wtvr that means when she's the one who never respected nor cares foe their space and right at all? If I was there I would have slapped that hoe. Like no joke. She's 22 and people keep forgetting that. It's CREEPY. Ugh I personally would not deliberately hurt my friends just because I'm jealous of their happiness and now try to steal it for myself. Just because you have a reason/ sadness, doesn't mean you should act on it. Your last decision and action makes you who you are and I'm sorry. Aerith is a bad friend to both tifa , cloud, to the whole party, and ti her mother. Neither to zack as well.

Zack deserves better.

Btw she's been like this since OG for anybody thinking she's inconsistent. I'd say her remake version was the inconsistent one.

Except the R word cause that's not okay 😬

Tbh given what she says about how the whispers took everything from her I think in remake she was fully aware of everything and then it all went away and she went back to being her default OG bitch self, so she's not inconsistent before that point, it's that she knew things she no longer does and forgot what she knew so she's just a selfish bitch at heart and any character development she started off with went bye bye.

#FF7Rebirth spoilers

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pinkpicket · 2 years

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Is this relationship\ situationship worth it?

Pile 1- pile 2- pile 3- pile 4- pile 5- pile 6

1. No. And you know why? Bc it seems like whatever this is it wont become better, i see no improvements at all and it genuinly makes me sad bc u seem like ur really trying and overthinking this, trying to not let go, trying to remain hopeful but deep down u know this wont ever bloom to its full potential. Honestly i see disappointment coming from this, it’s like ur gonna be asking urself all this waiting for what? And ur right. So let go or at least distance urself for now. But don’t get hopeless bc u have something better or it’s on the way, and they won’t disappoint u like this. So this one is not worth it but what’s to come is more than worth it.

2. I see two different people here, one is more than willing while the other seems to not even try. Now idk which one u r so ill tell u about both and u decide for urself: A) this person is such a giving person, so protective of the people they love( i see strong scorpio here) and willing to do whatever it takes. This is a person that will fight for who they love with whatever they can but also have their own boundaries too, like if u not giving the same way they’re not going to stay ( AND GOOD FOR THEM👏) while B) person is…. Um.. lazy and neglectful like someone u cannot depend on, definitely not to defend or fight for u. It’s like they dont see the worth in what’s around them. They’re ungrateful. So is it worth it? no, not at all. So should u leave? Well that depends on which person u r. So if ur person A definitely move from this pls, ur loyalty deserves to be reciprocated. But it definitely wont be easy for u to move on ( not surprising considering how loyal u r) but if ur B person then i guess dont leave, u know why? Bc u won’t find no one better but i cant guarantee they wont leave if u don’t change.

3. Fuck no. Absolutely no. Did u hear me???L? I said fucking no. Dude im actually pissed, why on earth are u even with this person????? Like u absolutely deserve better, WAYYY BETTER. This person is making u lose in life, so get out as soon as possible. This shit is not worth it at all. Im not even gonna tell u nothing more other than the fact this thing has no future. So love urself for once and leave.

4. Yes. Definitely. But u have to work for it like this is the type of thing that can become so beautiful and fruitful but it needs work like all things. So whatever ur problem is work it out bc in the end it will bloom into a beautiful relationship.

5. YES. Hell even more than yes. Honestly im so happy seeing this, i thought all the reading would be negative but this is absolutely gorgeous. Fight for it. So id actually like to give u some advice: even tho i see this as a beautiful mature ( or soon to be mature) relationship, try to be more giving like buy gifts for each other, talk more, share ur feelings more bc baby this thing u have going on is meant to be. The universe arranged this, so protect it with everything u have. Remember this reading, honestly save it up somewhere just so u can be reminded from time to time.

6. Wow okay this is very confusing. I see this as two situations, so maybe two very different groups of people chose this group. read both and decide which is meant for u.

So first group of people are the ones that i would give a small tiny yes, sorta bc this is not exactly the person that’s worth it but more like this person will lead u into something or someone that will be worth it.

While in this other group, i see two type of people( it can represent the people involved so once again u decide which is u 🤕) well number 1 is the hermit, this person rn is meant to be alone, they need to find themselves first then maybe yes this relationship will work, but as for now u have a journey ahead of u. And number 2 is the one that’s fighting for this relationship, i hate to say this but this is not worth it. So if u want to sure u can still try, but u wont get anything out of this. This is a waste of time.

#free tarot #pac reading #pick a card reading #pick a picture #pick a pile #tarot reading #free card reading #pick a card #tarotonline #tarot of the day #tarot advice

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chanstopher · 4 months

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(for some reason I can ask via my fan account(

But I just want to say I feel you with the stay and KPop fandom comments. I see so many taking it too far and can't seem to recognise that they are creating parasocial relationships in their heads and narrative around situations they had a 2% outsider view of what's happened - and yet they act like they are coming from facts and reading the minds of others. I find it baffling.

I'm a LOT older, but it's always been nice connecting to those from different age groups via fandoms before. However, KPop ones really push me away from engaging. I try and recall back to my younger days with being in fandoms of pop groups and whilst there may have been issues between people from time to time, I don't recall anything to the level I see in Kpop where people get lynched and fans seemed to have had a firm grasp of reality and their place in terms of being a fan and crossing a celebrities boundaries. I don't think KPop stan's behaviour to be new, but in the age of social media and information being so easily accessible, it seems to have amplified certain types of behaviours and attitudes or, probably more likely, groomed and encouraged certain fan attitudes. I dunno.

someday tumblr will work fully. idk if its a sideblog or just tumblr being insane lol

I do feel like in the 2010"s it was a lot easier to find a corner of any fandom you could just be happy in, but with how many (negative) opinions ppl project constantly now its a lot harder, and then we all get sad about lack of engagement without thinking that maybe its the vobes we give off. like if ur rude or closed off or wont take someone elses opinion ppl are going to be afraid to engage and its sad. when i have a 1d blog i had maybe 4k followers at its peak and i would have dozens of asks a day because ppl were so engaged with everything all the time. now if someone dislikes a song they get death threats lmao. i think its why i make sure to answer asks and talk to anyone who tries to talk to me, i dont want ppl to have such a sad fandom experience. I remember being so excited when big accounts talked to me and were kind and helpful that i always felt like it was part of the experience. like the bigger my blog is the more i feel responsible for being accessible and welcoming because i want that so much for other ppl. i just dont get the amount of hostility and bitchiness that comes alnog with social media now. not that i dont get pissed off or dislike things or even ppl, i just try not to focus on it beyond the necessity (like ppl stealing content or stories)

i will say i find it to be such a weird thing that when i was a teen liking 1d i was so excited they had adult fans (as long as it wasnt weird ppl iykyk) but now a 15 year old will be like you who are the same age as that idol how weird for you to like them?! and im like...... what? i hated ppl thinking the things i liked were a teen or childhood phase when i was young and now ppl get so aggressive about it in the opposite way i get so confused lol in the end im just happy to have my happy little corner where i can ignore all of the weird ass behavior the rest of the internet seems so happy to engage in lol

#drm.ask #abodyofexpression

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snellyfish · 1 year

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Obligatory “what did you feel about the new episode” ask 👀💕

HI ive been out travelling and im an old man when it comes to mobile but ill try to gather my thoughts :)

Ace eating disorder represent,,, woo,,,,,, sad party blower sound,, love thst for us,,,, Holds his hand and makes out with him. Also eternally banger voice actor choice for him. Absolutely amazing performance every time he speaks.

Obligatory I love Arei. recently revamped an OC I made 5 years ago and basing a lot of her personality and stuff off of Arei. Just felt like sharing. I love Arei so much I will make her my oc methinks.

THE MOTIVES MADE ME SO FERAL I PAUSED THE VIDEOS SO MANY TIMES AND WAS LIKE AAIOGIGOGOUUGHHHH SO MANY HORRIBLE HORRIBLE FUCKED UP BLORBOS I CANT WAIT TO LEARN EVERYPONY'S SECRETS OM NOM NOM<33 Speaking of which JESUS CHRIST I really feel like the secret motives some ppl held onto, like, REALLY shouldn't have been kept to themselves omg. I'm sure there's been some behind the scenes stuff of characters gaining distaste/distrust/avoiding certain ppl after receiving certain motives;; I'm not entirely sure WHO specifically, but these are like CRAZY things to not warn the rest of the class about. Was David's the one that Arei got? Killed a man with no remorse? Huh? Shoves you pushes you shoves you into locker and swallows the key

The entire time during episode 9 I was trying and failing to open a jar of ice cream so I was a Little out of it, but from what I gather I'm really dumb and not good at mysteries so i have no clue who the hell did it. At one point I asked "alright who killed a man?" but my bestie heard "who killed min?" so I just kept saying that for the rest of the episode and crying of laughter. Guys, be honest, who killed Min- I'm not mad I just wanna know, guys-

Nico continues to piss me off a little. Teruko goes without saying she pisses me off to no end. When everyone started dragging her handwriting I was whooping and cheering and hollering it was so funny GET HER.

I liked how the two main people investigating the corpse were Arturo and Veronika. They really do get a lot of screentime together and it's starting to scare me a little. Is this like subtle ship fanservice or am I about to meet horrors beyond my comprehension as the story and cases develop. I hope one of them kills the other. They're so in love.

I also liked at one point Veronika dragging Ace's ass. They're ALSO in love btw. Yeah I'll ship my top 3 faves together, what else would you expect from me, man

Rose....<3

DAVID!!!!!!<3333 I know his ass was lying about history of depression that shit was so funny be honest bro you have unfathomable sins keep it 100% with us. If you turn out to not be fucked up or morally grey ykno I'll be a little disappointed. Just keep it real with us.

The motive that's like "where do I even start, everything about your life is worth killing for" is so funny bc if that was mine I would be like. okay. not my problem. That's so incredibly vague that means NOTHING. I'm also assuming it's Teruko's tbh, it's the only one vague and weird enough for her to be like "imma keep ot real with you chief idfk which of these are mine 🐸"

What else. I'm a little hungover

every time they brought up the fish I was like haha. like snellyfish. I'm an accomplice in Arei's murder and I didn't even know!!

kinda hashtag don't blame Hu for not telling whose motive she got bc it was a little suicide coded and very personal

That's all I'm done I forget what else happened xoxo love you all I love drdt so much--

I lied I just remembered that Eden lesbian (sapphic whatever I don't care) and laughed really hard at the idea of like. Charles opening the motive without reading the name and just thinking like "I'M A LESBIAN?????" real

Eden/Nico could be real if I didn't have a leaning negative opinion of Nico rn. I am still patient and hearing them out for now tho.

Ok Now I'm done.

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #ask #anon

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justablah56 · 9 months

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i LOVE the idea of something bad happening and when it doesnt actually roll off of him right away and better his character then he has a breakdown and it's EVERYTHING that he'd been repressing because he's ALWAYS chilling and ALWAYS totally confident so when he breaks down once then it's just everything he didn't even know that he was repressing and it's the worst breakdown ever and you know i fucking love my taylor angst so much and i love how everything is definitely affecting him a lot more than he really knows and i love the idea of him finally actually truly breaking for once and all of that emotional repression catching up with him in an incredibly overwhelming way and it being the worst breakdown of his life and everyone else is just in fucking shock because taylor was always the most composed and everyone else was drowning in angst EHAOEAIEOAHEI

I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH I'M LITERALLY EATING YOUR ANSWER TO MY ASK RN ITS IN MY MOUTH

ehheheehhe yay :] im glad you enjoyed my silly goofy Taylor thoughts dbssnns bUT YEAGH !!! thinking specifically about his anger towards scary about "killing" Nick . cause that was something that actually hurt him and didn't immediately become better and so he ended up lashing out . it didn't completely unlock the door , but it did take out the towel blocking the crack under the door . that while he was able to still kinda repress his like . sadness , it still ended up coming out via his anger at scary . and that's kinda why I think its taking him so long to forgive her and be chill w her again . cause it's her fault that he felt an emotion strong enough that he actually needed to react in a negative way , but at that point the idea that even *maybe* he could still be ok was enough that he didn't fully break down , but he still got pissed , and he's got a lot of pent up emotions and now that he's started letting at least that anger out , it's harder to push it back in again .

anyways sorry for aether Taylor ramble part 2 , I just think about him so much ,,

#just blahs #hes the specialest little guy !!!#and he needs to feel more negative emotions !!!#i love him !!#dndads #dndads taylor swift #taylor swift dndads

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werewolf-femboy-maid · 3 months

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"Manages multiple projects simultaneously while working on tight deadlines."

call me insane but I think this is another example of ableism esp. with neurodivergence. like bitch I can't even remember to drink water until I've almost passed out and I have to be under pressure???

ok and also this looks like an example of how todays companies are assigning more work to less workers. like maybe if y'all weren't so fucking greedy, multitasking wouldn't be as prominent. like what. I had to do 3 peoples jobs at my fuckng thrift store. like what is this.

like ive already accepted the world is a cruel place and I need to not give up if there is hope for anything good ever again. and I did learn a lot about myself and how to handle it when things are too ouchies in my brain.

so idk I guess im just pissed that working yourself to complete exhaustion just so you can hope to live in a place is just annoying to me.

regenerative farming is how we will stop this madness. no more grind. except grind weed on farm after waking up at 5 am and getting all the chores for the day done by noon. or something. (this is after a system is kinda figured out, which will take loooooots of work, but hey better than feeding a fugly ceo

I also really hate the idea of professionalism more and more. like what sick fuck thought it would be a great idea to turn the workplace, where you get money to literally survive, into a place where no one feels like they can be themselves and those that are too naive just get taken advantage over... maybe im just projecting now....

I have the sad. I was so angry today and I made it without prolonging the argument to over 2 hours :") I slipped up but at least I learned something.

man ok im good again. basically im gonna see the migration duck movie it looks so good I was waiting for it all last year

man I know professionalism sucks. a lot of things suck. but if anyone is struggling with negativity like I am, I will tell you that you deserve to take time out of your day to go cry if you need to. your eyes need to pee just the same as your bladder do.

idk who reading this but you got it man, you got it going. much love <3

#rant #adhd #ableism #idk #work #workplace #professionalism

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jackienautism · 1 year

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Now I’m really curious about your thoughts on the other counselors. I don’t really have any strong opinions on them much tbh idk why. Maybe it’s the whole “horny teenager” trope or something

(finally getting around to this. sorry for taking so long dfkldg)

yeaaaah fair enough dfgjndg thats exactly why i get pissed off playing the game tbh. it just becomes so convoluted with this romantic whatever bullshit that it gets SUPER TIRING...... but that's ok though bc silas kaylee and caleb need someone to love them unconditionally right?

anywho! i appreciate you wanting to see my other unfiltered opinions on the characters kdfgdfjg bc gosh do i have a lot. especcially for TQ bitches. as i just ssaid,

i AM going to get unfiltered and potentially brutal so if anyone is your ultimate bestie i recommend not reading (abi and laura are safe though of course<3) (mainly because nothing about either of them necessarily irritated me LOL and im easy to irritate)

im going to reference my thoughts on the characters from a note i wrote after playing through like ? chapter 4 for the first time. but honestly not miuch has changed. and just to preface this a good portion of my negative opinions come from the campfire scene in chapter 2 LOL like. when i first played the game i began disliking like more than half the characters here alone

dylan: talked about him here (its not positive)

nick: i just think hes a prick who doesn't deserve abi 🤷 of course he was given the short end of the stick in terms of screentime, but its kind of funny bc kaitlyn has a similar amount of Actual walk around time and she's there like. the entire game LMAO so yeah that pisses me off. nick has 3 moments where you play as him, and kaitlyn has 5/6, depending on how you separate her section in chapter 10. they both have the same amount of Get To Explore And Walk Around time though, which is a whopping total of one thanks guys. anywho. even before he began acting like a creep i didnt like him lol... and no surprise but it all stems from chapter 2...

long story short, i dont doubt that nick actually cares for abi and likes her but i think in the grand scheme of things it mostly has to do w/ him wanting tits and ass... sort of similar to mike's whole deal... and i believe this based on the bullshit he pulls w/ emma. yeah he says that "tHiS mIgHt NoT bE a GoOd IdEa" and yet he still plays along despite dylan saying that 2 people can kiss AS LONG AS everyone consents. he could've gotten out of the situation. and yet he fucking didnt. i dont care if he didnt realize the consequences of his actions, if he TRULY liked abi he wouldnt have done this shit in the first place. "ive had my moments, im not proud of some of the stuff ive done" DOG YOU JUST HAD A MOMENT AND YOURE NOT EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZING TO THE PERSON YOU HURT!!!!!! idc if it technically wasnt totally his fault. he still was involved in humiliating and upsetting abi. all he blames it on is playing alonog with emma's plan to make jacob jealous and aside from that just being such a shitty anf fucked up excuse in general, its not even ???? true?????????? GOD. IM SORRY. THE WHOLE SITUATION MAKES ME SO UPSET

jacob: as said in my previous TQ / UD rankings... i really flip flop w/ him alot. however im def leaning towards neutral to dislike NGL. i HAAATED his whole thing w/ emma like incredibly so. however. i did feell real bad for him during chapter 1, despite already knowing that he was the one to bust the truck up and keep everyone there another night. i felt bad despite already having a reason TO dislike him. kaitlyn was being mean for no reason. nick and dylan were being mean for no reason. it's just... it's almost like he was being used as the group's laughing stock. but as time went on i just continually became less and less willing to sympathize . hell, he's just a INFINITELY less sympathetic josh... of course seeing him crying and upset in ch 3 was sad, but at this point i don't really know what he expected im sorry. he really dragged all these other people into his bullshit with emma. and it's more than clear how emma feels about their relationship, of course emma wasn't great either with him, but jacob isn't an angel ... EITHER in this situation. of COURSE he couldn’t have known that the night would go the way it does, but it doesn’t negate the fact that fucking up the truck was a shitty move regardless LMAO as said previously, i HAAATe how fucking possessive he is of her. like when nick tells jacob that he could see what emma wantss? and jacob just laughs it off? it's so fucking stupid dog. character wise though, he of course has a lot going for him and i can see why people find appeal in him. especially seeing hwo many stereotypes theyre subverting, in terms of jacob showing emotions and shit. but for me personally, it's a no

ryan: my man🤝 even after all this time.... i find him very respectable and i very much appreciate him. similar to my deal w/ abi, even his more "asshole-ish" moments / dialogue choices (aside from a few off the top of my head LOL) are like. justified... and in character... like. him being so pissed off at and wary of laura? like????? laura is my beloved but this random girl just popped out of nowhere, killed one of his closest friends, and now wants to kill what he has of a father figure? like yeah id be acting like ryan too if i were put into his situation LMAO yeah you can be annoyed w/ his actions and behavior, but in context? the way he's acting is understandable and justified. it doesnt DESERVE criticism, because there's nothing to criticize! he's acting as any normal person would! of COURSE it's annoying how he doesn't BELIEVE laura, that's a whole other can of worms, but overall he's allowed to be a pissed off little bitch. and him potentially going against the whole party idea? that line of dialogue is just more in character for him i will not accept any other answer. it makes no sense that he'd suddenly go against chris' word. and it PISSES ME OOOOFF seeing how the game still like ? has ryan show up to the party despite being adamant against it.

ANYWAY.... ppl don't appreciate his autistic swag like i do. "he has no character" "he's boring" TO YOU. y'all rly see a character mainly speak in a monotone voice and rarely smile / show expression and go. yeah he's boring . do you not see the like . connotations of that. like be for real. he’s like. one of the only few genuinely good ppl here lmao and seeing how chris says that ryan is one of his fave counselors and how he TRUSTS him enough to hold all this responsibility + have all these in depth talks w him it’s just. you see what kind of person ryan is just from that. and how so far ryan is the only character (while you’re in control) who’s able to interject whatever bullshit is being said at the moment it just. i’m sorry. he’s just a good guy. i respect how he’s willing to go against the bulk of the group during the whole party or lodge thing. i also respect that he’s willing to put a fucking end to dylan’s invasive fucked up truth question. i KNOW that it all depends on the Player to choose these specific options BUT. they just fit ryan’s character more so🤷 what can i say. fuck everyone else

max: my bf (real)

laura: my gf (real)

abi: me (irl)

emma: in my original note i said that i was leaning torwards neutral to dislike lmao....... oh have the turns havbe tabled. anywho. i think shes such a stupid dumbass bitch. she's so funny for no goddamn reason. i am shoving her down a flight of stairs. i love her character sooo much. i hate how she acted with jacob (despite most of it being her people pleaser side Showing but, that's a whole different conversation i am willing to have). she's suuuuch a beloved but gooooooood god i draw the line at being such a shitty friend to abi. that's my biggest complaint when it comes to emma and her actions. i understand that she has a moment where she's like "you're my best friend, i need you" and i fucking eat that shit up but almost everything else that happens and happens prior..... just goddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

to get started. most of this is gonna be nitpicky and personal shit, so if you think it's small and shouldn't be addressed, then you're probably right LOL im just ultra sensitive to this sort of stuff due to past personal experiences. ANYWAY!!!!!! you know the little teasy comment emma makes towards abi after you avoid hitting the squirrel? how she's like, "this is her first time asking a guy out like EVER"? it makes me wanna beat her up fr kldfggnfg bc it's like... it's not a thing to joke about... i see sooo much of myself in abi meaning i see her as autistic and that's just. you know how much being autistic hinders those sort of abilities? i obviously can't say for sure but, seeing how abi later talks about people wantingher to interact w/ others better? hence why she went to summer camp in the first place? i'd say that probably isn't too outrageous to think...

and sort of continuing off that same topic, when abi is having trouble choosing someone for truth or dare, how emma is just like. "ding ding ding, my turn!" LIKE. AS HER FRIEND. WHO PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT HOW MUCH ABI STRUGGLES SOCIALLY. DON'T YOU THINK SHE'D BE LIKE? "OHH ABI JUST PICKK ME" INSTEAD OF HUMILIATING HER? LIKE. BC THERES SOOO MANY DIFF WAYS OF MOVING ON AND HELPING ABI OUT....... GOING ABOUT IT THW WAY EMMA DID ISN'T THE WAY TO GO......... ESPECIALLY KNNOWING HOW SOCIALLY ANXIOUS ABI IS.... anyway. while we're on the campfire scene, it's so fucked why she chooses to kiss nick lmao like ok yeah it may work in the end (potentially) but its still ?????????????? girl you know how much abi likes nick (SUPPOSEDLY) why go about this shit in the most destructive way possible? and what makes me even MORe mad is that. they dont even ever address this scene ever again???? despite it being such a huge and humiliating and probably traumatizing moment for abi??????????? YES they're able to have a more in depth andf heart to heart conversation about their relationship. but its not fucking enough! bc that fucking stupid ass dare and its outcome was the catalyst for the rest of the night's events lmao! imagine beign brushed aside and seen as a social fucking experiment for your entire life. which is something im SURE abi has felt and experienced. and emma, her best friend, LITERALLY CONTRIBUTES TO THAT!!!!!! ITS SO FUCKED AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. i could probably go on about this topic but ill leabe it for a separate post i guess anyway if i were abi id be fucking pissed off and upset

her character means so very much to be like her whole people pleaser and "curate myself to each individual person ive ever met to keep them fromn leaving me" resonates so so much with me and i love it so much. ive talked about this b4 in a previous post but i can only imagine how lonely she feels, acting the way she acts. no one will ever truly know who she is. shes in a constant state of performance. every single person she's ever met has a different perception of her in their head. and, in one way or another, it's all wrong!!!! i love you emma mountebank i love you abigail blyg

kaitlyn: i wont even lie i instantly fell in love w her after hearing the INSANE shit she says fnsjfjsnf esp felt it after the “jacob go upstairs. jacob get bag. kaitlyn moves on with her goddamn life” fell in love fr. and her whole stupid monologue after jacob was like "yeah i mean, what did i expect would happen?" SHES LITERALLY INSANE. but. like. i was not and still Am not happy w how she treated abi during the campfire scene though. due to 1. her telling abi to basically hurry the fuck up despite seeing how much she was GENUINELY struggling, and also potentially knowing about her social struggles prior. bc they're friends. right? and 2. just coming up wiht the dare in general lol it was such a fucked up thing to do and as ive said w/ emma, the fact theyre unable to actually jhave a convo abt it later is suuuuper dumb and shitty imo. esp seeing just how upset abi got, and the most fucked up thing is, neither kaitlyn NOR emma seem to show any remorse for it!!!!! that's just so fucked up

anywho. hate how both of their asian girls (emily in until dawn) are characterized as bossy and very. my way or the highway. it’s actually real fucked up in that light. fuck you supermassive. y’all are lucky that these 2 characters are their respective games’ baddest bitches . i SUPPOSE it isn’t THAT as big of a deal in this game bc. there are like. objectively more unlikable characters (in the guys AND girls) so kaitlyn doesn’t stand out as much (as emily did. she was practically written to be hated. bc NO ONE ELSE was as strong personality wise as her. i suppose jess comes close but 1. i think ppl shit on her for other stupid shit anyway SO and 2. she effs off for more than half the game) but it still doesn’t make it ok lmao. bc it’s a trend that is very :/ mmmmmmm. even if it’s not that much of a cliche stereotype for asian women, seeing them write both of their asian girls ALMOST THE EXACT SAME WAY is a bit sussy goddamn baka. went off a bit there lmao. anyway. i’m a weak pussy bitch and after she softened after abi returned freaked out i 😭 i love you. more positive (and NON GUY related) interactions between the girlies please. i literally love her relationship w/ abi so much it's so interesting to me.

and just... to talk about her character real quick, i mmentioned in my tier list that her character frustrates me. and you wanna know why? ive talked abt this b4 but her character is basically a watered down emily davis. and i say this bc. they both overall are the same archetype. except. in kaitlyn's case. there's really no reason for me to like ???? feel bad for her? djjfggkj LIKE. THERE'S LITTLE TO NO SUBSTANCE TO HER CHARACTER.... AND THERE CERTAINLY ISNT MUCH TO FEEL SYMPATHETIC FOR..... i say this bc. almost all the other TQ characters have this moment of ): aw, here's why i should care about and feel bad for you. BUT KAITLYN????? NEVER REALLY OUTRIGHT HAS THAT MOMENT,..... it's almsot like they threw her in there and threw in her characteristics last second.... nothing's really established w/ her. you just. you just keeo finding new stuff about her as the game goes on. like. oh. shes a good shot. oh. she cares about abi. and shit like that. im probably explaining this so terribly rn but hopefully some sense can be made from this scramble. it's just.... thye toook away the interesting aspect(s) of emily'scharacter (her anxiety, her fear of death, her complex to be protected while being fully capable of protecting herslef in times of danger etc etc) and thus gave us kaitlyn. to me she just. she isnt that interesting character wise! there isnt much there for me to grow attached to! people only like her bc shes associated w/ dylan! like shes one of those characters where you sort of HAVE to mold and shape into something that's familiar and Good

re reading htis it really sounds like i don't like her fdjkdg BUT I DO I PROMISE.... i gotta stick w/ my asian girls

abi but for real: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 do i even need to say anything? its like supermassive made a character purposely JessCore or something like that. i like. haven’t gone In Depth abt why i got so fucked up over what everyone else did to her during the camp fire scene but. know that it hit a little toooooo fucking close to home. like. I Could See Me Sitting There In Abi’s Spot and it HUUUUUUURT!!!!!!!!!!!! like ): seeing her avert her gaze and how she was fumbling over her words i ))): LIKE. AUGHH. esp after being asked THAT question? since not sleeping w/ anyone by this age is seen as “abnormal”? i could feel that so bad man ): no one deserves to be singled out like that. esp not a VERY much autistic girl who is pretty clear to be on the “outside” of the group. bc she’s not “normal” or not “like everyone else here” and it’s just. fuck you all fr choke. enough of that. i just. she’s so fucking cute too? like girl i love you so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her lil like. expressive noises and shit are so awesome and make me happy fnsjfjsf you only see them like twice BUT. you don’t really see that from the other characters. so basically: stims. autism. yeah. they rly made abi a little TOO realistic nd relatable fnsjfnnsf but ohhhh man do i love her oh so much. after the camp fire scene i was just. she’s my friend now fuck all of you

laura but for real: I MISSED HER AND MAX SOOOOO BAD WHILE PLAYING THROUGH CHAPTERS 1 - 6 SKLDDFJDF i was literally so upset and sad seeing that they werent at camp after the prologue. du eto like literallty all of the characters getting on my nerves I WANTED THEM TO COME HOME SOOOO BAD.... AFTER THE CAMP FIRE SCENE EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL AND I MIIISSSEED THEM SOO MUCH i needed them back for real. other than that though, i dont have much to say about laura. i mean of course she's my BELOVED i mean look at my user but. yeah! i think about her often and project some anger shit onto her<3 specifically towards travis for specific and personal reasons<3 even if it's not like character stuff or w/e i think about, i often just rotate herin my mind. i love her so much. plus she's literally a combo of emily and sam aka my 2 fave UD characters how could i not love her?

max but for real: i honestly dont have much to say abt him? and i suppose he and laura arent /technically/ a part of the other counselors since they never, yk, showed up. but w/e fdfjgndg i think he's neat. i honestly thought he was like one of the only Good Guys of the game when first playing through,. and that still holds true! i still see ryan as a great guy too though. max just seems like such a good partner and guy in general and i love him. don't necessarily think about him much but as i said before, he's my bf (real)

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