#im hoping itll be a good small meal for me when im not feeling my best

[luvanniiee]

tonight

[ateez drabbles]

• pairings : ateez x gn!reader (individual though) hongjoong x reader , seonghwa x reader , yunho x reader , yeosang x reader , san x reader , mingi x reader , wooyoung x reader , jongho x reader

• synopsis: they work hard as idols to provide for you. they sacrificed a lot of things ……. even spending time with you. so this is what they do when they come home from touring!

• warnings : slight angst , smut mdni! , sex is mentioned but i dont go too much into detail. pet names, suggestive as fck,

• a/n : i hope you guys enjoy this , i might do a txt version or twice ! let me know! anyways thanks for all the support bookies !! okay ima not talk too much, just enjoy! oh wait also you might wanna listen to “tonight” by summer walker, that was the inspo for this!! okay byee

• story under the cut!

hongjoong

he had just come home from a 2 month tour. literally felt like hell for both of you. hongjoong felt like he couldn’t properly focus on his work , he missed you in more ways than you wouldve ever thought. but now he was home , in your arms. you cooked his favorite meal , and showered together , and put his favorite movie on, but he wasn’t interested in that. he was eyeing you like a piece of meat. take a picture , itll last longer. you said to him as you turned to him. im not interested in the movie anymore baby, i want you. i need you. please i just wanna make up for lost time. he said, need was dripping like honey in his voice. you felt your cheeks heat up. this was a first, usually you would be the one who was desperate for a touch. but he seemed like he would explode in the next 2 seconds if he didnt feel some sort of you. ive been on the road too long , tonight i wanna have good fun! he said as he pushed you down on the couch.

after playing catch up , you were left with drool coming from the sides of your mouth , legs shaking , and hongjoong still wanting more

seonghwa

you pace to get ready , seonghwa is coming home today. normally you would be happy, well you are happy that hes coming home, and he’ll be able to touch you the way youve been trying to touch yourself. but thats what your scared about. see prior to this , you broke one of his rules. absolutely no touching unless 1. youve asked and 2. hes given you permission. you were on the phone with him, and hes busy talking about how excited he was to see you, until you let out a small moan on the phone. what was that? he asked. oh..uh..nothing! you said. i hope my baby isnt touching themselves without daddy’s permission. he teased, he knew you were touching yourself to his voice. so he told you that he was going to punish you for breaking a rule. and thats how you are in this situation now. just then the door opens, revealing an angry and horny seonghwa. he only stepped forward to close the door behind him. his eyes burning holes through yours. oh…hey baby… you said trying to ease some tension. is that my name? do you need me to remind you honey? does daddy need to teach you a lesson and punish you? he said in a teasing low tone.

after that, you were covered in love marks, tears , sweat , legs are shaking hard from the times hes made you cum over and over. but after it all, he still kissed you and gave you the best aftercare ever, and even told you about the things hes seen while on tour until you fell asleep in his arms.

yunho

normally, yunho doesnt make the first move. but being away from you for 2 months really drove him crazy. you and yunho were supposed to be playing a board game. but as you were moving your peice, you kinda realized that the game was no longer yunhos interest. his eyes were on yours, eye fucking you. he wanted to fuck you as soon as he stepped in the house. but he dared himself to see how long he can go before actually losing his mind. you okay? you asked. he nodded lightly then stood up to walk over next to you. he started to kiss your neck leaving marks on you. fuck i cant hold back anymore. yunho moaned out as he laid you down. he leaned over you and started kissing you. soon it turned into a lazy makeout. then you started to thrust your hips forward for an ease in the ache between your legs. fuck baby please. please let me make up for lost time. he said as he looked in your eyes. it only took a nod for him to go absolutely insane.

afterwards, he cleaned you up. did you still wanna play the game? you asked. not really , but i do wanna play with you again. he smirked. one hell of a night for both of you.

yeosang

although he has a reserved and calm demeanor, on the inside yeosang knew he has too pent up to be calm. there was a welcome home dinner for him. his parents and yours all at one table, welcoming yeosang home from his tour. it literally took everything in him to not kick everyone out and have his way. the way you looked as you took a sip of your drink, the way you would lick your lips clean, it drove him up the wall. excuse me. he said as he excused himself out of the room. he went to the bathroom to wipe his face. he had to do something to distract himself. just then you opened the door and the. locked it behind you. you want it as much as i do dont you? he said. you just stepped forward and kissed him. it didnt take long until he was stripping himself and stripping you too. you both started to feel on each other. then he bent you over the sink, and forced you to look in the mirror.

after that you walked out, both parents gone. but there was a note. ‘if yall are gonna fuck, at least have the decency to give us the boot.’ both of you visibly embarrassed but laughed it off later.

san

you and san were just chillin on the couch. tv was background noise at this point. both of you wanted to so desperately feel each other after a long time. but the thing is, you both want to see who will cave first. san was the dominant one in this relationship so obviously hes gonna try to out wait you and make you cave first. you just wanted to push his buttons. you looked at his side profile, admiring the way his jaw would tense here and there. he took a deep breath and looked at you. you know you want me baby. he teased. you knew if you touched him first, you would not only lose a bet but you would be in for a shitload of teasing. oh san, youve been gone for 2 months, all pent up. only having to use your hand to relieve yourself. i had a vibrator. so i think you need me more. you cocked back. your reply shocked him but it also made him mad. so all he did was pull his pants down, licked his hand and started pumping himself. you cant lie, you really wanted to taste him. but youll be teased.

fuck it. you decide and replace his hand with your mouth.

you should play this game more often, you thought.

mingi

mingi has just come home that day. you and him spent the entire day hugging and kissing each other. you couldnt get enough of him, you missed his scent. so when night time came, it was about dinner time. you cooked his favorite food and you even volunteered to clean the dishes. but he insisted that he helped you. so you didnt turn him down and as you washed he rinsed. you started to lean over the sink to relieve some of the pressure in your lower back. so water was splashing on you as you washed. he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. the way your hands were moving in the water, the look of concentration, it was a bit much for him. it took a lot for him to restrain himself from doing you right then. so he waited until later that night.

baby… mingi would whine. yes? you replied. please, i need you to touch me. i miss your body so much. please i cant hold back anymore. he confessed. who were you to deny him? so you started by kissing him slowly, then marking him, touching him softly. he couldnt take this slow pace much longer. baby… i cant wait. he moaned slightly. so he flipped you on your back, he starter to grind his hips into you to relieve some pressure. you both moaned at the contact. want this? please tell me you want me as much as i need you. he whined. it turned you on because of how submissive he sounded. you nodded and thats all it took for him.

after that, he started to talk about how good the tour was, how much fun he had with his bandmates, all while youre laying there with your legs shaking like crazy, and your eyes could barely stay open.

wooyoung

this man just couldnt wait to hear you. wooyoung had some friends over, but he was starting to regret it. the more he sat next to you, inhaled your scent, it made him crazy. there was a movie on, and all his friends were watching it. you tried to watch, but all his teasing touches were really distracting you. sometimes his hands would slide a little too close to your pussy. you let out a loud sigh that sounded almost like a soft moan. his friends would glance occasionally, but wooyoung would tell them that it was because you were “yawning because your tired”. but soon after all the teasing, he finally touched you. he started to rub you, drawing small quick circles over your clit. you had to excuse the moans that would slip a little as a yawn or something. but when he started going faster, you couldnt contain it anymore. so you put your head in his neck, and bite down softly to quiet yourself. wooyoung could hear your small moans and whimpers as you came on his fingers.

in the dark it looked like you were resting your head in him. if only they knew about the dirty things that were happening under the cover you had across your lap.

jongho

it all starterd with a facetime call. you were wearing one of his shirts. he was on his way home from the airport when you started teasing him. flashing him and giggling afterwards, or moaning his name, just teasing him to the point of no return. but when he got home, it wasnt funny anymore. all the teasing you did to him made him sexually frustrated. the smile on your face disappeared when he opened the door and said strip. you wanted to retaliate but there was no way you were gonna do that. no way you were gonna fuel his fire by bratting even more. so you did as told. bad girl, teasing me like that. jongho said. his voice was dripping with lust, making it deeper. it turned you on. im sorry, i just uh wanted to play a little. you said as your voice cracked a little. oh you wanna play? ill play with you. he said teasingly.

to make a long story short, one of the best nights you’ve had.

teehee

©️ luvanniiee on tumblr !!

#ateez x reader #ateez smut #hongjoong smut #seonghwa smut #san smut #wooyoung smut #jongho smut #yunho smut #yeosang smut #mingi smut #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez headcanons

[hufflepuff-skank]

Bruh I haven't been able to do anything all day, why do I feel so physically bad. My body is stiff and sore and fatigued and i feel vaguely nauseous and dizzy and i just,,,, do not like this at alll. Literally have not been able to even listen to music let alone look at a screen or read or message friends or something. I feel so bad, but I dont for sure know why, and I just want it to pass, whyyyyyyyyyy.

#i was finally able to talk on the phone and play videogames for a short bit earlier after I got some sleep but it didnt last long #i just #feel #bad #i cant explain it #but my elderly cat Hector is comforting me #my tummy isnt one of the things bothering me today so he's able to cuddle me in his favorite way which is by lying on my belly/chest #hes purring so much #he lob me #ok stream of consciousness rn-- im ordering a bunch of flavors of instant rice noodle packets (like typical ramen) bc i had some recently- #-and it was the fucking bomb and im so excited #theyre not heavy in the stomach and Ill have a variety of flavors to choose from so i wont get bored or grossed out like i usually do when- #-I eat the same thing over and over again #im hoping itll be a good small meal for me when im not feeling my best #which ugh im getting a headache. imma take some pain pills and go to sleep. which also?? ive been sleeping so much today?? #it's really similar to when i was feeling REALLY bad in the hospital with the weed thing. s2g i did nothing but sleep and vomit during- #-that time. the sleep was partly bc i just didnt want to be conscious for the agony but also bc i literally like/// could not even think or- #-exist or do anything normal. it was unbelievable. but yeah this excessive sleeping im doing def feels at least partly involuntary #im probably about to reach tag limit so im gonna leave and get those pain pills so i can get some sleep #i might eat a teeny tiny snack so i dont wake up from hunger later. but not too much food bc then ill be really uncomfortable- #-trying to get to sleep. i really am just so fuckin sensitive to bodily sensations. ...and emotional sensations 😂 Im just a fussy baby #tags

[secretsniper3]

Part 8: Boxed up..

I wake up, pussy glistening with the morning itch thats going to stay longer than Id like, before coming here and becoming a slave I would scratch that itch when I woke up, but now, it just sits there dully, I hear moans and slight gagging coming from the bed, my Master is awake and taking out his morning wood on my sister slaves mouth. Finishing in her throat my Master gets dressed and I hear a knock at the front door, my Master leaves to answer it leaving us both in the room, me locked in my cage and my sister lying on the bed. Returning after some time my Master stands my sister up as she teeters on her toes unsurely, and I am let out of my cage, I crawl up and lick my Masters shoe without thinking, "why did i do that?" I think.

Leading us both downstairs Im greeted with 2 large boxes in the main hallway, paying no attention to my curiosity we are taken to the feeding cocks and we are both set to suck away and get our morning meal while my Master has some bacon and eggs, I barely remember what bacon tastes like but Im sure I like this mixture more. Greeted with the familiar burn in my pussy I know Im in for another fun day, at least I hope as my eyes gaze behind me to the 2 boxes, I have a odd feeling 1 of those boxes are for me.

Hearing my Master open a large box I hear something pulled out and placed behind the box, out of view. Filling up on my cum slush I release the cock and turn to meet my Master, my tongue aiming straight for his shoe again without any control I circle his feet and pull back puzzled. Clearly Im accepting my role as pet… damnit, my Master looking down at me with a smile, “Good Girl” he says and I light up at the sound, actually jumping a little as my ass wiggles, my sister slave now complete with her morning meal turns around and is taken by my Master to the other room, setting her on the treadmill once again she begins to walk on her likely throbbing toes endlessly as my Master turns to me and brings out a Hitachi and sets it on the floor, then gets 3 smart vibes and walks back to my sister, moaning as she feels her pussy lips exposed and part to accept her Masters gifts, her pussy is covered by the latex and my Masters presses a button, to be met by immediate moans of pleasure, only seconds later turn to cries and screams as the toys auto turn off as she nears climaxing, clearly still being punished for yesterday’s orgasms.

Watching carefully as my Master turns the Hitachi on, Im told to sit and stay on it, my clit landing directly on the tip Im brought to the edge and as commanded I stay, pussy desperate to cum but I know better than to cheat and raise up off the vibe, bound as I already am itll be difficult to hold myself over it anyway so why fight it? Watching my Master pull foam and straps out of the boxes Im puzzled by the shape of the foam, I cant make out from 2 rooms away what its supposed to be. Turning to move a small table closer to the boxes, he put a tray with plugs and toys of various sizes as well as many bindings and masks. Walking back to me I watch as Master takes me by my leash and leads me to the TV and sits down, pulling his cock out as he begins to watch his shows, taking my place between his legs I take his cock into my mouth and begin sucking away.

Hearing my sister cry as she walks my Master turns the volume up to drown her out, pushing me back he inserts a vibe inside my pussy and turns it on, squirting juices out instantly as Im pulled back onto his cock to continue sucking, cum flooding down my throat I swallow every drop, and continue to deep throat my Masters cock, as he pushes my head to his base and holds me there, feeling more cum bypass my mouth and empty directly down my throat, swallowing is no longer a option its a way of life now.

Pumping several loads directly down my throat I gag occasionally but he doesnt stop fucking me, till the movie is over. At last Im pushed off my Masters cock as he puts his cock away, I have been on edge for days now, only time my arousal is low is when Im sleeping, hovering right on the edge my toy making short work of my senses as I land there, chemically blocked from having a orgasm, my moans seems endless till a hard smack to my face sends me off balance and I fall on my side, left to right myself my Master goes back to the mystery boxes and continues removing foam mats. Reaching my “feet” I crawl out and watch my sister moan as she walks, the loud buzz coming from her pussy as it visibly spasms under the latex, I can see her lips twitching uncontrollably, shes desperate to cum, and so am I. Smiling to myself I continue watching as she moans and walks in her ballet boots, her toes surely on fire at this point since she cant stop walking. Taking in her predicament I hope I have another chance to make her cum without permission, denying her future orgasms even more, next time I'll make her cum more than twice!

The vibe inside me has remained on high speed this whole time, I highly doubt my sister could hear my vibe through the thick latex and her own moans, I turn and leave her to her slice of hell and I pant, crawling to my Master, I want to feel him inside me, I want him to stir my pussy up with his cock. I lick his shoes and as he looks down to me from the side of the large box as I roll onto my back and present my needy cunt to him. Smiling down at me “Does the little pet need its pussy played with?” he asks, panting and moaning at his question is all I could manage as he rubs my moist slit with his shoe, massaging my desperate pussy as he says “Remember, bad girls dont cum” he says looking to my sister slave, “good girls cant cum” he says as he rubs my clit drawing another moan from my lips, clearly Im the good girl and likely wont be cumming again for quite some time..

Clearly done removing the foam, My Master moves over to my sister, releasing her from the treadmill he leads her to the box, lifting her up he lowers her into the box and begins to strap her down nice and secure. Hearing moans and groans as toys are put into the box, most likely inside her body, they all seem to match the eggs master put in her earlier, clearly ment to torture her holes with more edging, I sigh both from the pleasure my toy is giving me and from the realization that she isnt going to be cumming anytime soon either. Finishing up the restraints my Master puts a foam lined lid on the box, sealing her in, I dont know whats going to happen but it cant be fun for her.

After nailing the box shut Master grabs my leash and moves me to the other box, whatever he did to my sister slave, Im going to find out personally. Lifting me inside Im greeted with a foam wall that moulds to me when I press against it, amazed at the way it does this Im not looking as Master pushes large inserts inside me, nowhere to run in the box I can only moan as Im almost impaled on the toys, moaning louder when Master turns them all on, my ass has a long intruder, worming its way inside me, every inch moving around, my pussy and urethra buzzing harshly and my clit sucked into a cup and surrounded in vibes I would have cum 5 times in a heartbeat were it not for the chemical torturing me.

Laid on my side Im bound to the foam floor, a latex mask is pulled over my face and secured tight, my only source of air being the tube attached, foam pads are pushed between my limbs, propping them open wide, I can only watch as my Master looks at my fear filled eyes. “Were going on a trip to a new home in the countryside, dont want my pets getting hurt in transit now do i?” My Master informs me with a smile, placing more foam over my body, covering me completely in spongy foam, a soft tap signals the severity of my new isolation as that was my Master nailing the lid closed. Im going on a trip, I dont know where it is or how far away Im going, but I dont really have a choice now Im sealed away, my toys teasing me, holding me at the edge of a orgasm I'll only have in my wildest dreams, Im almost scared of the day I do get to cum again.. A new home to cement my new life as a Slave.

[secretsniper2]

Part 8: Boxed up..

I wake up, pussy glistening with the morning itch thats going to stay longer than Id like, before coming here and becoming a slave I would scratch that itch when I woke up, but now, it just sits there dully, I hear moans and slight gagging coming from the bed, my Master is awake and taking out his morning wood on my sister slaves mouth. Finishing in her throat my Master gets dressed and I hear a knock at the front door, my Master leaves to answer it leaving us both in the room, me locked in my cage and my sister lying on the bed. Returning after some time my Master stands my sister up as she teeters on her toes unsurely, and I am let out of my cage, I crawl up and lick my Masters shoe without thinking, "why did i do that?" I think.

Leading us both downstairs Im greeted with 2 large boxes in the main hallway, paying no attention to my curiosity we are taken to the feeding cocks and we are both set to suck away and get our morning meal while my Master has some bacon and eggs, I barely remember what bacon tastes like but Im sure I like this mixture more. Greeted with the familiar burn in my pussy I know Im in for another fun day, at least I hope as my eyes gaze behind me to the 2 boxes, I have a odd feeling 1 of those boxes are for me.

Hearing my Master open a large box I hear something pulled out and placed behind the box, out of view. Filling up on my cum slush I release the cock and turn to meet my Master, my tongue aiming straight for his shoe again without any control I circle his feet and pull back puzzled. Clearly Im accepting my role as pet… damnit, my Master looking down at me with a smile, “Good Girl” he says and I light up at the sound, actually jumping a little as my ass wiggles, my sister slave now complete with her morning meal turns around and is taken by my Master to the other room, setting her on the treadmill once again she begins to walk on her likely throbbing toes endlessly as my Master turns to me and brings out a Hitachi and sets it on the floor, then gets 3 smart vibes and walks back to my sister, moaning as she feels her pussy lips exposed and part to accept her Masters gifts, her pussy is covered by the latex and my Masters presses a button, to be met by immediate moans of pleasure, only seconds later turn to cries and screams as the toys auto turn off as she nears climaxing, clearly still being punished for yesterday’s orgasms.

Watching carefully as my Master turns the Hitachi on, Im told to sit and stay on it, my clit landing directly on the tip Im brought to the edge and as commanded I stay, pussy desperate to cum but I know better than to cheat and raise up off the vibe, bound as I already am itll be difficult to hold myself over it anyway so why fight it? Watching my Master pull foam and straps out of the boxes Im puzzled by the shape of the foam, I cant make out from 2 rooms away what its supposed to be. Turning to move a small table closer to the boxes, he put a tray with plugs and toys of various sizes as well as many bindings and masks. Walking back to me I watch as Master takes me by my leash and leads me to the TV and sits down, pulling his cock out as he begins to watch his shows, taking my place between his legs I take his cock into my mouth and begin sucking away.

Hearing my sister cry as she walks my Master turns the volume up to drown her out, pushing me back he inserts a vibe inside my pussy and turns it on, squirting juices out instantly as Im pulled back onto his cock to continue sucking, cum flooding down my throat I swallow every drop, and continue to deep throat my Masters cock, as he pushes my head to his base and holds me there, feeling more cum bypass my mouth and empty directly down my throat, swallowing is no longer a option its a way of life now.

Pumping several loads directly down my throat I gag occasionally but he doesn't stop fucking me, till the movie is over. At last Im pushed off my Masters cock as he puts his cock away, I have been on edge for days now, only time my arousal is low is when Im sleeping, hovering right on the edge my toy making short work of my senses as I land there, chemically blocked from having a orgasm, my moans seems endless till a hard smack to my face sends me off balance and I fall on my side, left to right myself my Master goes back to the mystery boxes and continues removing foam mats. Reaching my “feet” I crawl out and watch my sister moan as she walks, the loud buzz coming from her pussy as it visibly spasms under the latex, I can see her lips twitching uncontrollably, shes desperate to cum, and so am I. Smiling to myself I continue watching as she moans and walks in her ballet boots, her toes surely on fire at this point since she cant stop walking. Taking in her predicament I hope I have another chance to make her cum without permission, denying her future orgasms even more, next time I'll make her cum more than twice!

The vibe inside me has remained on high speed this whole time, I highly doubt my sister could hear my vibe through the thick latex and her own moans, I turn and leave her to her slice of hell and I pant, crawling to my Master, I want to feel him inside me, I want him to stir my pussy up with his cock. I lick his shoes and as he looks down to me from the side of the large box as I roll onto my back and present my needy cunt to him. Smiling down at me “Does the little pet need its pussy played with?” he asks, panting and moaning at his question is all I could manage as he rubs my moist slit with his shoe, massaging my desperate pussy as he says “Remember, bad girls dont cum” he says looking to my sister slave, “good girls cant cum” he says as he rubs my clit drawing another moan from my lips, clearly Im the good girl and likely wont be cumming again for quite some time..

Clearly done removing the foam, My Master moves over to my sister, releasing her from the treadmill he leads her to the box, lifting her up he lowers her into the box and begins to strap her down nice and secure. Hearing moans and groans as toys are put into the box, most likely inside her body, they all seem to match the eggs master put in her earlier, clearly meant to torture her holes with more edging, I sigh both from the pleasure my toy is giving me and from the realization that she isnt going to be cumming anytime soon either. Finishing up the restraints my Master puts a foam lined lid on the box, sealing her in, I dont know whats going to happen but it cant be fun for her.

After nailing the box shut Master grabs my leash and moves me to the other box, whatever he did to my sister slave, Im going to find out personally. Lifting me inside Im greeted with a foam wall that moulds to me when I press against it, amazed at the way it does this Im not looking as Master pushes large inserts inside me, nowhere to run in the box I can only moan as Im almost impaled on the toys, moaning louder when Master turns them all on, my ass has a long intruder, worming its way inside me, every inch moving around, my pussy and urethra buzzing harshly and my clit sucked into a cup and surrounded in vibes I would have cum 5 times in a heartbeat were it not for the chemical torturing me.

Laid on my side Im bound to the foam floor, a latex mask is pulled over my face and secured tight, my only source of air being the tube attached, foam pads are pushed between my limbs, propping them open wide, I can only watch as my Master looks at my fear filled eyes. “Were going on a trip to a new home in the countryside, dont want my pets getting hurt in transit now do i?” My Master informs me with a smile, placing more foam over my body, covering me completely in spongy foam, a soft tap signals the severity of my new isolation as that was my Master nailing the lid closed. Im going on a trip, I dont know where it is or how far away Im going, but I dont really have a choice now Im sealed away, my toys teasing me, holding me at the edge of a orgasm I'll only have in my wildest dreams, Im almost scared of the day I do get to cum again.. A new home to cement my new life as a Slave.

#Stories #Custom

[uwuowotf2waslife]

Do you have one with crippling depression yet? Like they stop eating, stop moving, always nearing tears but bottles them up, becomes emotionally numb, not really finding the joy in life in anyway? There’s nothing physical that caused it, it’s just isolation, loneliness, or guilty memories catching up with you. I’m uh, not doing so good right now and your writing is a really good pick-me-up. Can you write it? Please? It’s fine if it’s too triggering, I can understand. Have a good day, or night.

My inbox is always open my dude, and im more than thankfull for your words

(this will be about a merc and a S/O, hmu if you meant about team dynamics)

You are poetry, 

stay safe & hydratated

tw: depression

Scout: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ not the most emotional mature of the mercs; even himself admits that he is pretty immature even for his age (early 20s), but this doesn’t means he doesn’t have empathy or that he doesn’t care about his S/O. He sees you suffering and he is big time worried. He tries to motivate you, drag you out of your bed and do something fun or at least go and buy some food. He will get annoying but he can’t just sit there and watch you rot. He is a hands-on guy, he might not understand why you are acting up like this, but at the same time he doesnt know how he can approach you. He will try to hug you tighter and bring you food and water, his shoulders can be a pillow for you to cry all day and night long and his hands are there to wipe off the tears from your face. He hates seeing his bby sad and would give half his Tom Jones memorabilia for you to wake up one day and be your old, happier self ♥

Soldier: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ although his social skills are in scarcity, he isnt a traitor. He sees his S/O down ( mentally) and it pains him to an unimaginable extent  to see you so unmotivated . He doesn't understand why are you sad, what has happened? Did that crazy Kraut touched you? who he needs to snap the neck? He hates seeing you like this. Will be stubborn, just because he doesnt understand something it doesnt mean he can't find a way around. In the end, he will push you enough to actually break down and explain everything that has happened. For the first time in years hes just silent, he broke the dam and he is beyond ashamed of making you break down like this. He doesn't what to do so for now he will hold you as tight as he can and promise in America and whatever is holy and pure in him that he will help you untill you are again okay. ♥

Pyro: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ they know that you are sadder than before and they can see you points of view. They themselves know that life sometimes just sucks and that its okay not to want to eat or leave your bed. But they are also afraid that whatever is plaguing you it will become worse and worse and they really don’t want to see you hurting yourself like they once did. They try helping you do simple things, drink a glass of water, play a bit with their stuffed animals, theyll help you brush your hair or wash your face. They know they baby you, but they think you need a bit more of some more smootches or cuddles. If they see you worsening or being even less active they will drag you their pillowfort and just try to keep you as close them while chanting sweet nothings and sad mumbles, please don’t loose yourself like they did. ♥

Engie: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ he might be a cruel, cold man when hes on the field, but in reallity he is the cinnamon roll meme( he is a cinnamon roll and he might kill you tho but he is mostly a cinammon roll). He knows also that work and his projects take a really big amount of his time so he already feels very guilty. I doubt he has any humanitarian doctorates, but he has an above average understanding of human psychology; whats the point of trying  to emulate life when you cant understand it?He knows he can't address it straightforward, but he needs to get you over this slump before you do something really stupid. Que him cleaning up his workshop and carrying you there bridal style. He has a small nest of pillows and blankets and right next to it his trusted guitar.You have the whole night and the day after to spend it together and get in the bottom of the barrel. Itll be hectic but he is a very patient man and loves ya to bits ♥

Demo: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ lowkey one of the mercs with the most expierence with depression/ depressive episodes. For once in his life he doesnt drink and tries to find the rute of the problem, if there is of course or its just pent up anger and frustation with things that have happened in your life now or in the present. In simple, you will talk. For hours if needed. He wont drink a sip becausehe doesnt want to forget even the stupidest detail from your venting. In the end, he will offer you to drink but he will drag you out of the base/ house and make you sit in the front porch/ garden  while he has set up some “ festive” fireworks ( just some small ones that erupt and turn into hearts) . He isnt the ideal psychological perfection, but if you chosed the scottish cyclops for your mate, then he shall go to the man and back just to see you smile one more time. ♥

Heavy: ˜”*°•.˜”*°• he has seen depression and has experienced it himself. It was way too traumatic for a young man to have to support a family without a father figure around. I highly headcanon him to have deppresion hence the sandwich, hes bingining while staying in the battlefield. He doesnt care about the language barrier, in order for the both of you to be as close as you are know, it means you understand eachother to a satysfying extent. He will cook you a very hearty meal and bring it to your bed with a tray and sweet tea. You can eat in silence with him simply staying by your side and rub your back, words can’t potray how he feels right now. Once you finished hell put the dishes outside and simply cuddle you ( being the least cuddly of the mercs, it means a lot). You can nap, cry, trace patterns on his sculp anything really. All his life the main cause of depression was the anarchy surrounding his life, he needs you to feel protected. He doesn’tcare how much time it will take, but he will rip the mountains apart to seeyou smile out of genuine happiness, might even cry if he is the cause. •°*”˜.•°*”˜

Medic: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ the most medically, again qualified from the group. so he has at least that covered. He isn’t stupid, you show clear signs of cronic clinical depression ( also known as manic depression) and although it has been a long while before finding a patient to lobotomize, hed be damned if he ever butchered you up like that. He is a healer, even if enjoys his enemies to hurt a little more than they should, and a healer is here to help both the body and the mind. Will persuade you into getting under medication, even if he knows theyll have little to no effecthe just hopes the placebo effect will motivate you. He tries to mix your routine with his, ex. he wakes up really early when you finnaly after hours of insomnia fell asleep, hell tuck you in and kiss your forehead. Throughout the day hell send Scout or Heavy to bring you food or water or your medications. Pyro will be by your doorstep or you side, to keep you company during the day. At night he will carry you to the medbay and do all the talking for you if you dont feel like talking, he will listen to all of your venting. Lowkey will sit you on his lap so he can rub your back and let you cry/ just sit there, to feel his heardbeat on your face and relax. ♥

Sniper: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥    𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵. 𝘉𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘈𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘯𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘶𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 , 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥, 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 , 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥. 𝘏𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴𝘯𝘵 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦. 𝘖𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘥𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳, 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘤 ( 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴), 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘚/𝘖 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵( 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘴 , 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 0/10 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥) 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘶𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳, 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘶𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦, 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘸. ♥

Spy: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥     actually he isn’t that mentally mature as much as he strives to be. He has very unhealthy copying mechanisms, he fucks and smokes his torments away, but he also knows different people have different copying mechanism and he cant judge how people seek comfort. He doesnt know how to help yo, he really does but he doesnt know. He is nervous but he will probably suggest you two take a vacation away, together. He has planned it all fancy and nice, and pretty much has scanned the whole place/ area/resort you are staying and having “ friends” around. He doesnt care if you just stay all day in the resorts pool and just chill around drinking pina coladas. In the middle of your vacations, he will take you to a more secluded area and will open up about his issues , not about your relationship but about him as a person. He has many issues and he is a very difficult person to be around, so you haveto know he will never judge you. But he also doesnt know how to help you. This will make you hug him and you two can finnaly have a good, well-earned cry. Kiss him on the nose or on his head and tell him how much all this means to you and he will cry you a river and hold you till the dayhe dies, how can someone so late in his life means so, just so damn much? ♥  

#tf2 #tf2 x reader #tf2 imagines #mental health #comfort #tf2 headcanons

[pbandjesse]

Today was a good day. I have to convince myself about the productivity of today, because it was there! But man is it hard to let myself believe that. 

I slept okay last night. And waking up was easier. Getting out of bed was still hard. 

I did get up and get dressed. I didnt like the outfit I had picked out so I ended up in my favorite sweater and I was like. Whatever. I had cereal for breakfast and watched James play video games for a little while. And it was a pretty chill morning. 

We went to Michaels for clay and Target for a few small things. It was very nice out today. Weirdly warm and sunny. Which is only annoying because Im going to hang out with Lane and Gaby tomorrow at the park and its supposed to rain all day. Very annoying. Were going to find a pavilion to hang out in, so itll be fine but its still annoying. 

It was nice being out with James though. I got all the clay I wanted, though it wasnt the brand Im used to. We went to target and we got the things we needed. And I got a new cardigan I can wear like a robe. We looked at the 90% off christmas stuff and I got tissue paper for 30 cents for packing orders. Excellent. I did lose James for a few minutes but I found him again. He didnt even know he was lost, silly boy. 

We headed home after that. And it was a good day. 

We took down the christmas decorations. I made two videos! One of clay and one of sewing. I am still figuring things out but I am excited about that. We did some cleaning. James made falafel and I made a burrito. I ate a lot of small meals today. I felt sort of weird all day about eating, but its fine. Tomorrow will be better. 

I worked on sorting my clay box. We dont have any ziploc bags anymore so I had to search through my studio for ones. I found exactly enough. So now its nice and organized. 

James left for work and I basically spent the whole day on the couch. I played some animal crossing. I did the video for the day and got both the ones I made posted without issue. I was really proud of myself. I even figured out how to piece together clips and I could have cried when it worked I was so excited. 

I also got in contact with a girl I used to be friends with on here that I havent talked to in years and weve been having such a nice conversation on instagram. She remembered me too and it made me feel good. 

I did some more cleaning once the sun went down. Got rid of leftovers in the fridge. Ate to many snacks. I read for a little while. Its been nice. 

My back started hurting and so I went and took another bath. It helped. I am going to go dry my hair now and get in bed. James will be home in the next hour and it will be nice to have him here. 

I hope tomorrow is good even if its rainy. I hope you all have a great night, sleep well. Love you all. 

[parkaiur]

The Skater Boy (Pt.2) - Yoonbin

❀Angst 

❀ *WARNINGS: Parental abuse (GRAPHIC) & suicidal thoughts

❀ Word Count: 6.3 K

❀ A/N: dont ask me for a part 3 :) your ask will not get answered :)  anyways hope you guys enjoy this !! i really enjoyed writing this series hehe thank you for all the nice comments/asks/reblogs ! I really enjoyed reading them and it made me feel happy so many people were supporting me and this fic! and p.s. im not saying not to send me a part 3 ask to be mean, but im not going to write a part 3 so itll be a waste of my time and your time to ask for one 

❀ ❀ ❀ 

I woke with a jolt.

I uncrossed my arms and looked around at my surroundings. It was raining hard and darkness was still surrounding me, meaning it was night time. 

I eased myself down, feeling nothing around me. 

Until I heard shouting to my right. My heart beat faster at the intense fear of being found by my father. But, my father would never look for me.

“Y/n! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!” 

Wait... I recognize that voice.

I quickly unlocked my side door and Yoonbin came flying in, soaking wet and all. I groaned and scooted away from him as the coldness oozed off of him. 

Then, after the disgust, shock suck in.

“What are you doing out here? You should be home.” He deadpanned like he didn’t just walk to me in the pouring rain, and only God knows how the boy found me. 

My jaw was still dropped in confusion while the boy just wanted an answer.

“Y/n, what are you-”

“How did you find me?” I interrupted. I was immensely confused and this whole night has been....something else. 

Yoonbin sighed and wrapped himself in his wet coat. I rolled my eyes and took off his jacket, which surprised him. 

“Start talking.” I snapped. The boy gulped and started to spill.

“Ok, after I hung up the phone, I was so mad at you that I wanted to talk to you face to face so I took off to your house. That’s when your dad answered the door, telling me that you left and didn’t live there anymore. So I asked him on places you would be and then... he shut the door on me so I went searching myself.” I nodded slowly, barely comprehending his words. 

“Wait, where is your car then?” The boy gave me a cheeky smile. 

“Um, I had to drive back home so that my parents would think I was home...” He trailed off, scratching his head while doing so. I almost let out a laugh.

We sat there in silence as he was now sitting in a short sleeve shirt and dirtying my entire passenger seat. 

“I’m not going back home.” I stated with a stern look. “You can’t make me.” I mumbled the last line. The boy stayed silent. 

“Fine. I know a place, let me drive.” He tried to get into the drivers seat but I pushed him away. “Yoonbin, dude-” 

“Just trust me on this!” He was too strong for me and pulled me over to the soaking wet passenger seat. I closed my eyes at the disgusting, irritating feeling. My back and butt were all wet thanks to Yoonbin. I opened my eyes and saw the boy grinning back at me. 

“Fine, I have no where else to go, I guess.” The boy said nothing to my grumbling but instead started up the car. We drove in silence through the night sky and pouring rain. 

Soon, he pulled into a driveway, leaving me to raise a brow. The house wasn’t too big, but wasn’t too small. It looked like a normal suburban house in the area. I raised a brow at him. 

“Where are we?” Yoonbin smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

“We’re at ... my house.” 

My jaw dropped in surprise. The boy got out of the car and then grabbed my bag for me. Quickly, he came to my side and opened the door for me. I squinted my eyes at him, but got out of the car anyways.

“I didn’t know you were so much of a gentleman.” I joked to hide my racing heartbeat at the sight of his home. 

What would his parents think of me staying over? What would they assume of me when they see their son drenched in water? Or what would they think of my tear-stained face? What would-

“Don’t worry, my parents are really nice people.” Yoonbin ushered me forward and opened the door quietly. He poked his head in, and then waved me forward.

I didn’t think he would wave me forwards if his entire family was sitting in the living room. 

But he did.

And now they were all staring at me. 

I recognized their faces vaguely and nodded and bowed to them. 

“Oh? Yoonbin? You weren’t home? Who’s this?” His mom bombarded him with questions until she saw him soaking wet. “OH MY GOODNESS! I’ll go get towels!” The shorter woman sprinted away as Yoonbin gave me a gummy smile. 

His dad stood and walked over to me. I felt my palms go sweaty and my head go numb. I felt Yoonbin grasp my hand gently and squeezed it. 

Yoonbin’s dad was now right in front of me, his expression unreadable. He lifted his hand, causing my body to go into a frenzy. 

He’s going to hit you. He’s going to hit you. He’s going to hit you.

Surprisingly, he patted my shoulder and peered down at me with a concerned look. 

“Sweetie, are you okay? Do you need some water or clean clothes? Or some food? We can heat up leftovers.” 

My body froze and my throat closed up, unable to speak. 

“We just had some fried chicken, an easy meal. It’ll be real easy.” His dad continued, taking his hand off my shoulder.

Yoonbin squeezed my hand gently which zapped me back into reality. 

“N-no sir, I’m fine. I just ate not too long ago.” Lies. I hadn’t eaten dinner or breakfast today. But I didn’t have much of an appetite anyways. 

Yoonbin’s dad laughed. “Just call me Mr. Ha. And if you change your mind, just take whatever you want from the fridge.” I nodded and thanked him. 

Suddenly, Yoonbin’s mom came flying down the steps with a bunch of towels in her hand. 

“Here, here, dry yourselves.” She threw a towel at her son, then one at me. I caught it clumsily as Yoonbin had to retract his hand. “Why are you all wet, Ha Yoonbin! You’re going to get a cold! And in the middle of the summer!” She tsked. I bit my lip to hide my laughter when Yoonbin just rolled his eyes. 

Then, his mom turned to me. “Sweetie, if you need something, just call us. First, you both need a change of clothes.” She shoved a pile of clothes at me. “Here, these are Yoonbin’s sister’s clothes who is currently working in Germany. And Yoonbin will show you to the bathroom.” 

She glared at the boy, but then smiled. I opened to my mouth to protest, but she was already pulling me away to follow Yoonbin. The boy tilted his head in the direction he wanted me to go.

“Here, you can use my room. I’ll just change in the bathroom in there since I need to dump all the wet clothes in bathtub anyways.” I nodded and stepped into his room. 

It was exactly how I imagined. The walls were a dark blue, close to black, and there were posters of random bands hung around. The only light source besides the lights on the ceiling was a black lamp that was seated on his desk. Clothes was flung around and I almost tripped on his t-shirt that was lying on the ground. 

“Sorry, I’m a bit messy.” He scratched the back of his neck and blushed. I shrugged and gave him a small smile. “It’s the first time I’ve brought a girl home, so sorry they’re all doting on you.” 

That surprised me. 

Yoonbin was anti-social as an anti-social person could be, but he was an attractive dude. He had fierce features and a smile that made me melt. His humor was dry and he could be quite annoying, but he did have a caring side even if he didn’t want to admit it. 

I mean he was letting me stay at his house. 

“It’s fine, it’s the first time I’ve been doted on.” I said honestly. We awkwardly stood and stared at each other until Yoonbin cleared his throat. 

“I’m going to get changed now, um, I’ll knock before I come in.” 

I nodded and he gave me a tight smile before disappearing into the bathroom. I looked down at the clothes his mom had given me. I pulled on the simple black leggings and the red t-shirt that hung nicely on my body. I then felt the t-shirt stick uncomfortably to my body because of the wetness, so I stripped it off and dried my torso with the towel.

Suddenly, I heard Yoonbin knock on the bathroom door. 

“Wait-”

Before I could respond, the boy opened the door, his eyes immediately landing on shirtless body. His eyes widened and I could see him visibly gulp. 

I raised a brow and cocked my head. 

“Yoonbin, what was the point of knocking if you were going to open the door before I could speak?” I teased. The boy turned beet red and shrugged. 

“Um, I thought you would be done.” He finally tore his eyes from my body. “C-can you please put on a shirt now?” He stuttered out, breaking his cold facade. I decided to tease him a little more. I left my shirt on the bed and took long strides towards him. 

He tried to look everywhere but my body. 

He’s so cute.

I reached out and pulled him closer, inhaling the smell of his fresh clothes. I brought my head closer to his neck, breathing softly for only him to hear.

“Y/n, please, don’t-” He whispered quietly in a small voice. I ignored him and softly kissed his neck. His whole body turned stiff and his hands clenched, willing himself to stay still. “Please.” 

Then, I raised my hand and flicked him on the forehead. “OW! What the fuck!?” 

I laughed and pulled the t-shirt over my head. 

“I’m starting to think you had ulterior motives bringing me to your house mister Ha Yoonbin.” I scoffed and turned away from him, who was still dazed from our previous encounter. “Yoonbin, c’mon, you can’t be that hot and bothered, if we stay in here too long, your parents will think we’re fooling around up here.”

Yoonbin then snapped out of it and followed me to the door.

“You’re something else.” He mumbled, a blush still apparent on his face. I smirked and shook my head. “And no, I did not have ulterior motives, it was an accident, ok?” I rolled my eyes but before I could say anything, he opened the door to walk downstairs. 

Immediately, we ran into his mom. 

“Changed already? Good, good. Now, I’m sorry to say this but we don’t have a spare room since we painted it this morning and it’s all stinky and chemical-smelling so you’ll have to stay in Yoonbin’s room, if that’s alright with you.” 

I felt my body freeze at those words. What kind of parent would let their child sleep in a room with the opposite sex? Or with anybody really? 

“That’s fine.” Yoonbin replied quickly. I almost glared at him. Almost. But instead I nodded at his mom.

“Ah, that’s fine.” 

His mom nodded and winked at me. “I trust you guys, but if you do anything, just please, be quiet.” 

I felt blood rush to my face in embarrassment and a sudden shyness and wonder in front of his mom.

“Mom! Oh my god, it’s not like that.” Yoonbin shouted with two red blotches on his cheeks. His mom giggled and hit him on the shoulder.

“Just joking!” She winked at me. Oh gosh, she thinks it’s like that. “Oh! We also heat up some fried chicken for you just in case you were hungry!” She picked up the bag she had on the floor and plopped it in my hands.

“Goodnight kids, and nice meeting you y/n.” 

“Thanks for letting me stay here.” I said before she could leave. All of a sudden, she got a soft look in her eyes. 

“Anytime, honey. Anytime. As a mom, I can’t leave a child lonely. It’s not in our blood.” She  patted me softly on the head and nodded to Yoonbin before heading to her room.

I felt my eyes well up with tears at her kind gestures. First they let me stay in their house, then they give me clothes, food, and love. 

Something I never received much of.

“C’mon.” Yoonbin guided me to his room and set down the bag of chicken on his table. I wiped my tears hurriedly so he wouldn’t see them, but they were falling out like raindrops. 

“Why are you crying?” He whispered gently. I suddenly broke, hearing his soft voice. He wrapped his arms around me, shaking me back and forth to calm me down. 

“Your parents... they’re just so nice.” I cried out. I felt the boy pat me on the back slowly. His hug was tight, yet I could tell he was scared of breaking me. I pushed him away slightly to wipe my face with the tissues he gave me.

Yoonbin gave me a gentle smile. “They are.” He rubbed the back of my head gently and pressed his lips against it as well.

“Um, m-my dad... he.” I took a deep breath, unable to finish my story. He then patted my back softly. “It’s fine, I don’t have to know if you don’t feel comfortable or ready to tell me. I’ll be here for you.” 

I felt more tears spill onto the floor with his words. 

“Do you wanna eat the chicken now or tomorrow morning?” My stomach felt like it was going to eat itself, but my eyes felt like they were going to shut any minute. 

“Tomorrow.” I whispered. He nodded and placed it in the bathroom so we wouldn’t be able to smell it. 

He started to take some blankets and set them on the ground. 

“What are you doing?” I questioned out loud. He looked at me like I was dumb. 

“Um, setting up a makeshift bed.” I shook my head and stopped him. “No, I don’t sleep with that many blankets, I’ll be fine.” Yoonbin gave me a weird look before laughing.

“Y/n, I’m sleeping on the ground. You’re sleeping on the bed.” My eyes widened in surprise while he pinched my cheek. “You’re so cute.” He mumbled. 

I pretended to ignore that, unable to say anything when he was the one teasing me.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind sleeping on the ground.” Yoonbin rolled his eyes, not even listening to my words. “Positive. Now sleep, you look like you’ve aged 60 years from just today.” I rolled my eyes, but I knew he was right.

Soon, Yoonbin rolled in his bed and stopped moving. I bundled up in his bed, inhaling his scent on it. I wiggled around on the bed, feeling like I was sleeping on clouds. 

“Thank you, Yoonbin. For everything.” I whispered, not thinking he could hear me.

A few moments later, I heard him whisper back “you’re welcome”. 

❀ ❀ ❀

I woke up to a loud alarm. 

It wasn’t even a song, it was just a loud beeping noise. 

“Yoonbin, turn it off!” I whisper-shouted. The boy groaned and searched for his phone. I rolled out of bed and sighed. “Do we have school today?” The boy yawned and nodded.

I laid back in bed. “Can’t I just skip?” I mumbled. Yoonbin pulled me out and shook his head with a grin. 

“Nope.” He guided me towards the bathroom and took something out of his cabinet. “That’s a spare toothbrush. You’re welcome to use it.” 

Suddenly, I broke into my normal routine, feeling at ease with Yoonbin by my side. 

I decided to go to school in the clothes Yoonbin’s mom gave to me. 

I already knew school was going to be hell, like it always was, but I felt better with Yoonbin with me. He made me feel safe, secure, and like I had a friend.

“Ok, first things first, no one can know we’re living together. And second, nothing has changed about us now that we live together, ok? If we stick together like glue, people will definitely think we are dating. And that cannot happen.” Yoonbin spat. I felt my heart hurt at his harsh words.

What would be so wrong with dating me?

I didn’t bother to ask and just nodded my head, trying to hide the sadness in my face. 

Do something y/n would do, don’t be sad.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Okay weirdo, I’ll stay away from you. I do owe you one anyways.” Yoonbin nodded, almost surprised that I agreed so easily. 

As we walked towards the school, Yoonbin walked a bit faster than me. I felt empty once he left my side. 

Soon, Yedam and Jihoon caught up with him. I swear, these boys come out of nowhere. Jihoon then looked back to me and waved. I gave him an awkward wave back.

“Hey, y/n, how’re you doing?” Jihoon asked. I was confused for a second, wondering if Yoonbin told him my homeless situation. 

Yedam nodded rapidly. “Oh yeah, that hit you took to Yoonbin’s body was pretty bad, as well as that fall. Are you better now?” 

Oh, they were talking about that. 

I laughed and nodded. “Oh yeah, I feel fine now. It wasn’t really too bad when I got hit, more surprising than anything.” That answer seemed to calm the two boys.

“Hey, Yoonbin!” Suddenly, a girl popped in front of Yoonbin. “Did you do that homework sheet from Mrs. Hong over the weekend? It was absolute torture.” A girl I noted who was in my computer science class asked him. She had long brown hair and big doe eyes. She was stunning, but also nerdy. Probably more of Yoonbin’s type than me.

The boy smiled goofily and put his hands in his pockets. “Uh yeah, it was terrible. I hated every second of it.” The girl laughed and held his arm while she did, something girls did when they liked a guy. 

“Yeah, like she wants us to fail or something! Anyways, you going to the skate park this weekend? I mean.. I know you went on Friday but...” Her eyes flickered over to me and suddenly, I felt awkward. 

Yoonbin’s eyes followed her’s and he shook his head rapidly. “Oh no, we’re not together. That was an accident, uh, she fell on me. You know Changbin, he’s clumsy and accidentally tripped her. I barely know her.” The girl laughed and brought her hand to his arm again. I felt my blood boil as he looked at her with kind eyes.

“Oh that’s funny! Anyways, see you later today then?” He nodded rapidly and I saw him gulp nervously. The bell rang and she took his hand.

“Of course. Um, let me walk you to class.” He mumbled. 

Then they were gone. 

Yedam and Jihoon were still on both sides of me, watching the same scene play out in front of me.

“Y/n, he doesn’t like her, not really, he’s just-” I held up my hand and rubbed the back of my neck. Jihoon looked at me with sad eyes.

“It’s fine, I know he didn’t think of me that way anyways. I didn’t expect anything.” I lied. I thought our entire relationship had changed over night. 

I was wrong. 

I barely know her. I heard his words echo throughout my mind.

I felt tears sting my eyes but I blinked them away. 

“Whatever, let’s just get this day over with.” I walked ahead of the boys who were obviously distressed, but I had no time to ease other’s pain when I didn’t know how to ease my own. 

❀ ❀ ❀

Lunch rolled around soon enough. I walked into the lunchroom, seeing Yoonbin, Yedam and Jihoon laughing and gooding around a their table.

I grabbed my tray of food and started to walk over to them. 

“Hey, guys! What’s up?” The same girl came out of nowhere and sat at their table. Yedam and Jihoon’s faces brightened immediately, easing her into their conversation. It was a very different experience when I had sat at their table. 

I felt my heart drop as they laughed with her, talked with her, and welcomed her as their own. Yoonbin’s face was smiley and giggling with her. As it should be.

People like her, smart, kind, bubbly girls deserved to be with boys like Yoonbin. She was someone who could make him smile. Someone who could bring him out of his shell. 

I turned around, tears threatening to fall from my eyes, and dumped my tray in the trash.

And then I ran out the back door of the building.

❀ ❀ ❀

He never liked you. You can’t really be mad at him. 

I chanted in my head. 

I just ditched school and I felt amazing about it. The warm air hit my shoulders as summer was approaching. 

It was a beautiful day.

It was unfortunate my mood was so sad. 

I felt a buzz in my pocket and I pulled out my phone. 

‘where were you during lunch?’ -yoonbin

‘on a walk outside’ I lied.

‘...why didn’t you sit with us?’

‘i thought you told me to leave you alone.’ 

I saw him typing which made my anxiety buildup. 

‘i didn’t think you would listen’

‘well now im listening, aren’t you supposed to be thinking me?’ I snapped over text. I saw the familiar dots appear.

‘well ... thanks i guess’

I didn’t bother responding. 

❀ ❀ ❀

I found myself walking back to Yoonbin’s house for some odd reason. I sighed and saw my car sitting in the driveway. I thought about how easy it would just to run away. 

“Y/n? Hey, what are you doing back so early?” I jumped up at the voice. I turned and saw Yoonbin’s mom staring at me with a smile on her face. “Doesn’t school end in a couple more hours?”

I felt my mind try to cough up some lies. “Oh yeah, I had a bad headache after lunch so I decided to go home. I couldn’t focus anyways.” I lied. His mom frowned. 

She brought her hand up to my forehead. “You’re warm, must be getting a fever.” She sighed and opened the door for me. “You should’ve told Yoonbin to drive you home. He doesn’t focus in class anyways.” I chuckled and shook my head.

“It’s fine. I don’t feel too bad.” She sighed and patted me on the back. “Go get some rest honey.” I turned walk to Yoonbin’s room, but turned back around.

“Um, by the way, thank you a lot for letting me stay here. I’ll be out your hair soon.” Instead of saying ‘you’re welcome’ quickly, the woman stared at me until I started to feel holes in my face. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with your home life, but I could never let you go home knowing you aren’t safe.” She then took my hands and patted them gently. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like. I know Yoonbin seems like a pain in the booty, but he’s really a nice kid. You’re the first girl he has taken home, and he rarely even lets his guy friends in the house. He’s quite secretive like that.” She winked at me and then shooed me along. “Now rest child.” 

I nodded and fell face flat into Yoonbin’s bed, trying to hold back my tears.

From the sadness, anger, and happiness all surrounding me. 

“Go to your room.”

“Why?! I want to eat chocolate cake!” The cake was swiped off the table immediately. I gasped and tried not to shrink back in fear, but it didn’t work. 

“You don’t deserve cake! You’re getting bad grades in all your classes! And you’re only 8 years old, you’ll be a disappointment when you’re older. GO!” My father yelled at me. His face turned red and spit splattered all over the floor. 

I started to cry and ran to my room. 

I felt myself cry at the memory, hoping I had found a better family.

❀ ❀ ❀

“Get up!” I felt the blanket being stripped away from me, making me shiver at the air. “GET UP!” I felt someone shaking me, which made me roll over. 

“Why are you waking me up?” I asked numbly. 

Yoonbin tsked and tried to sit me up. “You’re going to get sick germs all over my bed, my mom said you were sick. And I hate when sick people sleep in my bed.” I rolled my eyes and stumbled out of the bed. I could feel my forehead was burning when his cold hand pressed against my face. 

“You have a damn fever. Ugh, you ruin everything!” I stood in silence as Yoonbin threw his sheets off his bed. “First, you ruin my perfectly normal, humble life and make it a big shit show! Then you ruin my afternoon with a girl that is actually normal?! What did I even do to deserve this?” He spat, falling on his bed. He covered his face with his hands.

I didn’t know how to respond as I was feeling groggy. I guess lying about being sick gets me sick. Karma. 

“First of all, I didn’t ruin anything of yours. Second, why didn’t you just go out with that girl!? It’s not like I was stopping you!” I shouted. He stumbled at my volume. He then stood and glared down at me.

“Because my mom said that you were fucking sick! And that I had to come take care of you like you’re a baby or something!” 

“Well, I didn’t ask you to be here so why don’t you just leave!?” I felt my head throb at every word I said and every word I heard. 

Yoonbin laughed maniacally. “Leave?! This is my house, y/n, if you didn’t know!” 

I grabbed my keys and said, “fine, then I’m leaving. I can’t stay here and look at you!” I turned towards the door but he jumped in front of me. 

Usually, I let him do this, but this time, I shoved him out of the way and glared at him. “Why?” I whispered suddenly, shocking even me.

He furrowed his brows at me. “Why what?”

“Why did you even let me stay here?” 

The boy shrugged and avoided my gaze. “I don’t know. I really don’t but I regret it now.” 

I pulled my lips together and scrunched my nose around. It felt like neither of us were breathing and the only thing I heard were out heartbeats, or just mine. 

Then, I sighed and opened the door.

“Fine then.”

His parents were nowhere in sight when I left the house. 

“Y/n, what are you doing?” 

“LEAVING, DUMBASS, WHAT DO YOU THINK?” I shouted loudly, letting my feelings out. He looked distraught at me moving to get in the car.

“Wait, wait! Just wait, just listen!” He tried to stop me, but I shoved him away. Tears filled my eyes as he stared at me with sad eyes.

“Just stop, Yoonbin. Haven’t you done enough? You’re already ignoring me at school, don’t you realize I have no friends? No family? No one!? I literally have no one but you right now and...” I shrugged while laughing. 

“And that’s nowhere to being enough.” I said softly. I stood against the car, willing my tears away. I looked up at Yoonbin, and he wasn’t even shedding a tear.

“Goodbye, Yoonbin.” 

I got in my car and drove away.

And he didn’t try and stop me.

❀ ❀ ❀

I didn’t know where I was going. 

I drove aimlessly in the cold air with a throbbing headache and tears falling down my eyes.

I drove until my hands hurt. 

And I drove until my gas ran out. 

“Shit!” I yelled while hitting my steering wheel. I pulled over quickly and parked at an abandoned skate park. 

Of course, it just had to be a skate park. Just another thing to remind me of Yoonbin.

It was pitch black at this point and I hadn’t eaten anything in two days. I was going to die and I wasn’t even sure if that was going to be a problem with me.

I hit my head. No, don’t think like that. Don’t ever think like that.

I pulled out a blanket I always kept in my backseat and leaned my chair back. 

I was always alone. I had to do things alone. How did I ever think I would get a stable family with a stable life?

I closed my eyes and fell asleep. 

❀ ❀ ❀

I only had enough money for gas. 

I had enough juice in my phone to look up the nearest gas station and filled up my tank. I was sad to see I hadn’t gotten any messages from Yoonbin or even Jihoon, anyone, but it was expected. 

Everyone pushed me out of their lives anyways.

“Hey girlie, you driving out here alone?” I fought the urge to roll my eyes. 

“Yes I am.” I said curtly while getting back in my car. I drove off before he could do anything else. 

I looked in my wallet and saw the 5 dollar bill and a few quarters. 

I had to go back. I had to set down my pride and do what was right for my health. No longer my mental health, but my physical.

I drove back on the same road, regretting every second I was driving. 

I parked my car and got out. I placed my hand on my chest before knocking on the door. I felt my heartbeat pick up as I waited for a response. 

In about one minute, the door opened. 

I swallowed my scream as my father pulled me inside

❀ ❀ ❀

He was sober. 

I wish he was drunk. 

He got clumsy when he was drunk. 

He was precise when he was sober. 

I felt a hit on my head, making me fall to the ground. I gasped at the pain. It hurt 10 times worse when I was sick.

“YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST LEAVE AND THEN COME BACK? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” He grabbed my flimsy sleeve and pushed me backwards, making me hit the counter. I hissed in pain at the sound of my shoulder hitting the marble.

“YOU COULDN’T EVEN SURVIVE ON YOUR OWN, YOU’RE WEAK. AND STUPID!” He laughed in my face while clutching his knuckles. I felt another slap hit my face, causing me to bite my tongue. 

Beginner’s move. 

I spat the blood on the ground out of instinct. 

“YOU ANIMAL, THAT’S DISGUSTING! CLEAN IT UP!” He picked me up by my hair and made me stare at him. I tried to ignore the dirt caked underneath his fingernails as he slid them against my face. 

I held in my tears, but they came naturally at the pain.

“Crying? How pathetic.” He spoke sternly. I tried to hide them, but it was no use. He already saw. “I didn’t raise someone so pathetic.”

I left my pepper-spray and taser at Yoonbin’s house. 

I teared up even harder, knowing he wasn’t even looking for me. He was probably glad I was gone. I coughed loudly, trying to hide my sobs.

I felt him drop me on the ground and followed by kicking me. I grunted at the pain. He kicked me again.

And again.

And I don’t know how many times. 

I felt my vision blur and I lost count if it was him hitting me or was it me just imagining the kick as they came at a constant pace. 

I closed my eyes, feeling the fight in me give up.

Right at that moment, a bright light blinded me and I flinched to avoid it. 

I felt no more kicks as I heard grunting and ringing in my ears. I felt someone pick me up and carry me away. Like I was floating in the air.

“You’re okay, you’re okay.” Someone yelled in my face. 

“You’re going to be okay.” The same voice said. 

“Y-yoonbin?” I mumbled out. I caught a glimpse of the face as I pried open my eyes.

“No, it’s Jihoon.”

Then.

It.

All. 

Went.

Black.

❀ ❀ ❀

White.

All I saw was white. 

Being in the darkness for so long, you forget what the color looks like.

“She’s awake, she’s fine. No major injuries.” A feminine but stern voice said. 

My vision was blurry as I tried to force my eyes open.

“Ssh, don’t force yourself.” The soft voice said once more. I blinked rapidly and suddenly a full force of colors came flying at me. 

I saw a smiling Jihoon staring down at me.

I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” He mumbled while patting my head brotherly. I tried to give him a small smile, but it came out forced. 

“Thank you.” I whispered. He nodded. I looked around the room and saw Yoonbin’s parents sitting there. I gave them a small smile as his mom patted my leg. 

“I’m glad you’re safe now. You almost gave us a heart-attack.” The woman tried to keep her tone hushed, but it still came out kind of loud. 

“He’s in the bathroom.” 

I stared at Jihoon. 

“Yoonbin, he’s in the bathroom.”

I felt a rise of nervousness run through my body at the name. 

Soon enough, the door flung open.

Yoonbin stood and stared at me with wide eyes. He was wearing a baby blue sweater and looked like he hadn’t slept in a few days.

As we locked eyes, I felt the whole world stop. 

“Um, we will be waiting outside.” Yoonbin’s dad said as the three of them stepped outside. 

Yoonbin took careful steps towards me, like he was afraid of me running away.

I scoffed. “You’re being too cautious, it’s not like you.” I joked. 

Suddenly, tears started to flow down his face. He sat down in the chair next to me and held my hand tightly. I didn’t tell him it hurt; he seemed to need the comfort more than me.

“Yoonbin-”

“I’m sorry.” He breathed out. His speaking was deeper than usual and he had to force words out. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He chanted while tugging at my hands a little harder. “I should’ve-” I held up my hand to stop him.

“Stop right there. You can’t change what already happened.” I said sternly. He didn’t seem comforted by my words as his tears fell harder. 

“I’m sorry.” He buried his head on my stomach. I patted his head gently as he sobbed even harder. 

As he pulled away, he cleared his throat, needing to tell me something.

So I took the change to speak first.

“Why did you flirt with that girl?” I deadpanned. 

He paused and wondered who I was talking about. “Oh, you mean Sooyoung? I don’t know, I guess I... I don’t know... good practice?” I rolled my eyes at his dumb answer. 

“Then why didn’t you flirt with me?” He calmly looked in my eyes as he told me the answer.

“Because... it feels too real when I flirt with you.”

We said nothing for a few moments, enjoying each other’s company as well as wondering what the other was thinking.

Then, he grasped my hand tightly. “Y/n, I know I’ve been a jerk to you, and an asshole, and just a dumbass, but...” He took a deep breath, like he as struggling to say the words. I’ll admit, I was amused. “But I realize now that I like you, and a lot. And I know I’m bad at showing my feelings, but this is all so new to me and I’ve been a jerk, but I’m willing to change.”

He cleared his throat and looked me in the eyes. 

“So, um, yeah, I like you. What is your response?” He said awkwardly. I gave him a small, yet sad, smile.

“Yoonbin...” I trailed off which made him flinch. “I like you too...” He gave me a tight smile which broke my heart.

“I hear a but coming...”

“But I just can’t right now... you’ve hurt me so many times, Yoonbin. So many. Not even romantically, but also as a friend. So right now I just can’t, I’m sorry.” I spoke softly, careful to speak my words gently. 

His head was down for a second, but he lifted it slowly with a sad smile.

“I expected that. I know I was a douche.” I nodded. “Totally.” I agreed.

We laughed about it until he looked at me seriously.

“Ok, you might not trust me now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to trust me.” I raised a brow and slunk back in my bed.

“I’m going to fight for you. Just like how you tried to fight for me and tried to get me to be your friend. It’s my turn to fight for you

because you deserve to be fought for.” He sounded proud as he said those words, like he really meant them. There was a competitive glint in his eyes which meant he was serious. 

I held in my tears at his  passionate words, but a few dropped from my eyes.

He wiped the stray tears, yet some still stained the white bed.

“Do you really mean that?” I whispered softly. He smiled. 

“I mean it. One thousand percent. I’ll make sure you’ll come back to me, you’re too good for me to lose.” He said cockily. I let out a burst of laughter and ruffled his hair. 

“I’m holding you to that, skater boy.” He nodded and held my head close to his.

“I never liked skater boys anyways. Do you think you can change my mind on that too?”

“I promise.”

#yg treasure box #ygtblbr #ygtb #yg treasure box scenarios #ha yoonbin #yoonbin #yoonbin scenarios #ygtb scenarios #ygtb imagines #yg treasure box imagines #ha yoonbin scenarios #yoonbin imagines #ha yoonbin imagines #skater boy

[sakuurae]

wonder years; preview

» summary: Two years passed since Taeyong made it to a celebrity status. As time flew by, so did the distance between you two, marking the relationship with each other as good as strangers. Before he left, a promise was made when you were both young, and after those two long years he came back with intentions to fulfill it.

❀ pairing: celebrity!taeyong & reader insert || childhood friends!au

❀ includes: fluff, light angst

❀ wc: 2.2k for this preview !

❀ note: This fic will be complete fluff except for some ... minor angsty parts, hahaha. I havent written something like this (a hearty fic) on this current blog, so itll be a little different and i hope the finished product will be as enjoyable for you all as it was for me : ) The final product is estimating to be 20k~ words, give or take ... hahaha.

But heres a small preview for now ! It might seem abruptly cut off but i had to do it there since the rest would reveal how the rest of the story will probably go ! Haha. I also havent written anything in a while ... so forgive me if this isnt my prime adfgfkhgl

Im also still not used to putting ‘sakuurae’ on covers hah this is a sign to go back to ‘honeytaeyong’ huh ... lmaooo

Lee Taeyong was the cynosure of attention these days—well, months to be exact. He had risen to stardom expeditiously, and even the media was barely able to keep up alongside his worldwide activities. From country to country he had partnerships and photoshoots; filmings for commercials and parties by other celebrities on the top of the unspoken hierarchy. Deeming him as a busy man was an understatement, and honestly he strongly despised it. Taeyong missed his old, placid life more often than he should, almost as if he never had a peaceful life when he was young and the thought of a calm way of living was a dream he longed for. In fact, his past was seemingly clouded by a grey haze, for he could no longer remember what the sweet taste of fast food was like or even the feeling of spare time in his hands. Rather, the world was entering his grasp as power and fame creeped into his hands, but, of course, great power and fame came little choices—and it was far too late for Taeyong to escape.

Believe it or not, you had known the rising star Taeyong longer than anyone in the showbiz world had ever. Since you were six, and you had film photos as concrete evidence. Every time you saw his face on the screen and not on your hung picture frames you felt proud, happy for your friend; however, there was another sentiment that loomed desolation upon you. Due to Taeyong’s newfound hustle and bustle lifestyle, the messages and calls he would give you became rare—almost as if you were a fan whose luck was tested for a surprise call from his or her favourite celebrity. Needless to say, that disrupted the friendship and you were unsure if Taeyong and you were still as close as before. And the term “close” to describe your old friendship was too subtle.

Recalling the way you met Taeyong was easy, especially since the encounter was unforgettable. During recess when you were six years old you were on the field picking at dandelions to take home, in the distance you heard a boy yell incomprehensible words towards you. Once you looked up, a soccer ball went straight at your face, knocking you over to the grass. As ugly sobs spilled, a teacher accompanied you to the nurse’s office who only gave you a frozen bag of ice and the two empty words of “It’s okay.” The bump that formed on your head was sticking out protrudently so that the slightest touch made you wince in pain. Thinking about the rude boy at the time, you were furious, telling yourself you will never forgive him. But those silent swears were kept to yourself once the same young child that accidentally kicked the soccer ball to your face sneaked into the nurse’s office to release a string of apologies. Tears were prickling at his eyes as if he was the one who got physically hurt and not you, sniffles were not enough to prevent the upcoming sobs, and he was a nervous wreck. You glared at him in annoyance, aching to push him out of the office—maybe even punch—but before you committed to any actions he mumbled, “I’m really sorry.”

Those three words caught your attention; they were more genuine than the nurse who told you your injury was not as bad as you believed, as a result you stared at the flustered kid who kept on saying sorry. Each time you remained silent, tension thickened in the room. Silence ensued as you remained angry, and caused the boy to spit out, “Can I make this up to you somehow?”

Puffing your cheeks out, you declined and left the nurse’s office to sit in the front. That day you thought it was the last you would ever see Taeyong, but the next day he came into your class before lunch break with a can of soda in hand and another apology. Taeyong trailed you for a couple of minutes once lunch started; he took a seat next to you and offered you some carrots as if the item was a token of forgiveness, and you smiled at his gesture. That day you forgave him, and a friendship had formed. Instead of lingering around his friends, Taeyong spent time lingering by you around the slides of the play structure daily. That continued for a long while until junior high, where you would sit at the same table and chat the respite away childish drama.

You used to patronize his home when you were still young, accepting the love and affection from his family as if you were one of their own from day one, and he committed to the same—given the rare times your parents were both home. Since elementary to junior high, all throughout high school, you and Taeyong attended the same school and spent practically everyday pestering one another for fun. After racing to the nearby park where the loser would have to purchase an icy treat, the two of you always sat down on neighboring slides in the play structure and informed each other about the boring day. The closeness was perceptible to everyone: students, teachers, and strangers. Many assumed the guy named Taeyong was your boyfriend, and subsequently raw shock was their reaction when you both denied the claims.

The thought of you dating Taeyong never crossed your mind until he started to drift away from you after high school graduation. There had to be something more than those races and hang outs that were able to be passed off as dates. Half a day was spent next to him typically, which made the week incomplete if failed to do so. You spent an incredible amount of time by his side, and you wondered why Taeyong and you never became an official item. Of course there was something more than a friendship—even if it was never spoken of, an attraction was active. But nothing changed. Often, you wondered if there was such thing as being too close to the point dating was out of the spectrum?

With his burst of fame, gone were the days of you and Taeyong constantly visiting each other’s houses and eating meals together as a complete family, sneaking into his bedroom through his window to finish one new series on Netflix, and subsequently crawling out through the artful entrance to spend the night out in the town. Once Taeyong was able to drive the nights became longer, and rather than freezing in the cold, situated on the park swings struggling to stutter words through the gelid air, you and Taeyong rested in the back seat of his vehicle and talked about all the stupid things in life. Annoying teachers, petulant drama, and words that reflected a broken heart poured from the lips and strengthened the bond. And sometimes when life became too much, a silence by him was all you needed.

Whenever you gawked at Taeyong at three in the morning, tired eyes fighting to remain open, you recalled how he used to be: physically and mentally. The boy who used to have black hair longer than most, a frown etched on his face to convince the universe he was tough, and an array of flannels had transformed into a man that flaunted an extended quiff and a sparkling smile by senior year. Of course you were not the only being who noticed the distinct change; that was how he was scouted to become the successful man he was today.

The night Taeyong told you he had a couple of auditions for minor roles in movies surprised you; in fact, you never suspected such a day would come so soon. You see, Taeyong was always partaking in theatre activities on-campus and off-campus. He earned thespian awards since he began acting extremely merituous, and soon his name was featured on articles and local news. He was the best of the best, and everyone knew. So once he booked a flight out of the country to fulfill his dream, not many were surprised.

However, before Taeyong had left to fulfill his dreams, he made a promise to you: to be able to make you the happiest in the future. It wasn’t like he pledged to marry you in the future or take your hand accompanied by all the love he could spill; he wanted you to be happy alongside him as friends because life at the time was rough. Stress arrived like no other due to testing and college applications. The struggle to maintain nonpareil grades became a competition—the factor that determined the winner of a four year battle to gain valedictorian. Not only, but you and Taeyong were active participants in on-campus and off-campus theatre. Needless to say, you were both incredibly busy—and as all the stress from family and school accumulated, and so much more, the light that was joy had dissipated throughout the years. With parents kept entirely busy committing to their own service, you never had time to see them, which resulted in the element of trust falling short to speak to them about your issues. Taeyong was the only friend you trusted entirely—your heart and mind craved to vent to him whenever something went wrong—and he felt your pain the more you cried out to him in the middle of the night.

To the insane degree that Taeyong cared for you, everything was given to why he promised to make you happy.

His journey to fame was a long process sprawled throughout two years; nonetheless, Taeyong’s name was finally circulating the world like wildfire. Media wanted to feed off his fresh talents and looks, and other celebrities obtained an interest in the dashing man. Event after event, Taeyong was the name that hopped off everyone’s tongue. Acting modernly in prominence, he became closer to fans and created bonds with strangers, and despite Taeyong becoming closer to the whole entire world, the distance was growing rapidly between you two.

⭒ ⭒

The morning was busier than normal at the corner coffee shop you worked at—especially for a Tuesday morning. Most customers tended to be among the range of adults to elderly, but on this specific day there seemed to be clusters of young teenagers, each ordering the most aesthetic drinks from the menu. There was definitely going to be a boost in sales thanks to the younger group, so there had to be a reason for their spontaneous visit. The shop was extremely packed to the point you had no room to think of extra thoughts like those; all you were able to do was focus on drinks. Since the shop is on the compact side and cozier than most, gossip was simple to overhear.

“Did you see him yet?” said an excited girl who was balancing herself on her tiptoes.

Her friend seemed to shake her head, replying, “No, are you sure the tweet was true?”

“It had to be,” said another girl who was a stranger to the two. “It’s from an official news source.”

“Then where is he?” mumbled someone else.

Holding the tea shaker in hand, you stared at the cluster of curious girls, wondering who and what exactly they were referring to. A bump came to your hips from a fellow co-worker who wanted to snap you back to work, your trail of thought ended. “Focus, (y/n),” he ordered.

“Sorry, Ten,” you muttered, continuing to align the cup for the proper order. “Focusing is hard when there’s a bunch of loud customers.”

Ten laughed in agreement. “Apparently it’s because some celebrity is in town.”

“Did you read that from the tweet as well?” you jested, pouring the iced tea into the clear cup.

“Maybe.” He grinned while topping off his order with whipped cream. “I don’t even know what celebrity would have any business here. This town’s tiny, dingy, and quiet. The person’s changing everything.”

Chuckling, you capped the tea and went to the opposite end of the counter. “Kick the person out your town, Ten.” Reading the side of the cup, you read the black marker aloud, “Two large passion fruit iced teas for Johnny!”

The customer approached the counter and grabbed the drinks and grinned at you before reaching onto two straws. Before you were able to offer him a cup holder, he answered a call on his bluetooth and continued onto his day. “Hello, Tae?” said Johnny, who was clad in a casual outfit consisting of a white shirt tucked into black jeans. “Where are you?”

You stared at the man for a short while, the name that left his mouth lingering in your mind. “Tae,” you whispered. “God, the name reminds me of Taeyong.”

“Everything reminds you of Taeyong,” Ten poked fun, raising an eyebrow in a suggestive manner. “You sure the two of you weren’t some item or anything?”

Annoyed, you scoffed and brushed him aside to continue your busy morning at work. “Very funny.”

“Thanks.” Ten smiled. “My second job should probably be a stand-up comedian.”

#I like tens character here tbh #nct #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct angst #taeyong fluff #taeyong angst #nct fanfic #lee taeyong #taeyong #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 #preview #writing

[birdhug]

reflections on my first year of being fully vegan

july will mark one year of me deciding to go vegan so i thought I’d just write some blurbs of stuff ive learned and ways ive grown!

my tastebuds totally changed!! there are so many more foods that i love now that id never thought id enjoy. (particularly soy milk and tofu) this is something that i dont see a lot of people talk about irt veganism but its totally significant. i love veggies so much more than i thought i ever could.

that being said apparently i cant tell the difference between soy milk and dairy because a barista accidentally gave me dairy in my coffee once and i didnt notice until a bunch of sips in that they didnt put the little “S” on the cup over the milk check box thing so ummm thats weird. i havent had dairy in nearly a year but okay

ive realized that there can be people who are usually rational and value objective truth but then they open their mouth on vegan issues (being a nonvegan themselves) and they sound like complete simpletons. (didnt david attenborough, when asked why he wasnt vegan, say something like “you cant feed lions grass”?? lol ok)

yeah when i was a vegetarian i liked being able to just go to tim hortons whenever and get a donut, and i do miss that convenience. but the fact that i cant have donuts or chocolate bars all the time means when i finally do get to have a really delicious veganized dessert, its ten times better and more special

kinda related, im generally WAY better now at just having the presence of mind to resist food that i want to eat in the moment. i used to just gorge myself at parties and stuff and feel awful afterwards. now, whether the food is vegan or not, i can resist it if i know itll make me feel like shit later Even if it would make me happy in the present

ive decided i want to pursue a career in dietetics :)

ive realized why i care so much more about animals. its because i realized that humans hold so much power over every single animal in the world, and throughout history weve largely used that power to kill and mistreat them. i really think in this day and age its our responsibility to use that power to do the best we can to help them. they are at our complete mercy.

i realized that we as a society have been conditioned to see animals as objects first, and living, feeling beings last: their images are used as mascots, symbols, toys, we watch them for entertainment in zoos, marine parks, circuses, we watch cute videos of them online, and we have trained ourselves to see specific animals as food, despite the only relevant difference between a dog and a pig being our arbitrary societal categories in which weve placed them.

ive come to think of caring about animals as “widening my circle of compassion”. and i think its extremely healthy for others do to the same, because its made me just more empathetic to all creatures, human or otherwise, in general

i am...So lucky. my mom was vegan for 4 years before i made the full switch so i was already eating vegan meals most of the time. all the groceries in the house are vegan. all the restaurants we go to have substantial vegan options. and i have someone close to me that i can talk about this kind of stuff with. but there are so many kids my age that want to go vegan more than anything that have to deal with an unsupportive family and i really feel for them. & i honestly dont blame them at all if they just want to give up or succumb to the pressure of their family. please, dont risk your mental health. take care of yourself first and do what you can.

i used to feel like its pointless going vegan because nothing is ever going to change but like. now that im exposed to the community and veg related news is coming my way i feel SO much more hopeful for the future. so many more people r going reducetarian, corporations are investing in vegan food companies and theyre absolutely blowing up, the dairy & meat industries are starting to panic. were not going to see instant change but like...shit is happening folks. keep fighting the good fight.

ALSO i used to feel so hopeless about climate change. like when i was taught about in school there was no actionable advice given? it was always like “uh yeah were all gonna die. recycle and walk to school i guess” but knowing how much an impact cutting animal products out of ur diet makes only motivates me to do more! (yeah it may seem small but its better to think of it that way rather than “weh theres nothing i can do so i might as well not do anything”)

i know that theres a large percentage of vegans/vegetarians that “go back”. so how can i say that i wont??? i feel really confident that i wont because its just so....easy for me now. you see that most people start eating animal products again because its too inconvenient for them but Honestly after living in a vegan household for 5 years and having access to all the information and resources that ive had...i really cant possibly imagine a good excuse. it just comes so naturally to me. its so fucking easy. boff future-me upside the head if i ever voluntarily go back

in conclusion this is the best decision ive made & its changed my life in a major way and ive never been happier about my choices in life...and ummmmm thats it. please consider reducing your animal product consumption to whatever extent you feel comfortable. it would mean the world to me

& id really appreciate if you didnt reblog this!!

#jaypeg #do0nt rebl00g

[feelings-n-shitx]

hi. i forgot about this again. surprising, i know. i really wish i hadve remembered to write because i really cant remember anything ive been feeling up until about 2 weeks ago. i just read all of the posts here and it hurts to see. i really forgot how long its been like this, how much pain i was in. everything is a blur, i dont remember what i was like last year, or the year before, or the one before that. i think the constant same-ness just turns everything into one big blob of nothing, side for important things. im still not okay. but then again i am? it’s very confusing. im sure what im experiencing is called ‘maladaptive daydreaming’. i daydream all. of. the. time. all of it, even when i dont want to. i know that it’s a coping mechanism though, that if i didnt have it id be in an awful state. when i come out of it, usually at night, i get all sad and down again. i want to call it depression but i dont know if thatd be right, though from what ive researched it is. i dont wanna be here anymore. i feel so ugly, so untalented, so nothing. i dont wanna kill myself because i dont wanna hurt my family, because i know they love me. especially hannah, i know it would hurt her so bad. i still lash out at them. im cold and mean even though i dont want to be. i want to tell them that i love them, that i care about them, that i appreciate everything they do for me. i picked up guitar some months ago and i can tell that y dad is really trying so hard to teach me, but i cant show my immense appreciation and i dont know why. i wanna die but i cant hurt them. i think im just hoping for a fatal accident. it hurts to know that there is no way out of this, i cant go because itll hurt the people i love and i cant do that.

ive lost faith in my ‘friends’ now. i made a spam instagram account that i spill my feelings into, they follow it but they dont say anything. i have said so clearly that i want to die but not one of them has said anything. out of all of them, i have especially lost hope in ethan. i know he doesnt want me anymore, hasnt for a long time. it started a year or two ago, i talked about it here. he dropped me for weeks at a time because (i think i dont remember well) he got a girlfriend. like okay i get it you need to spend time with your girlfriend but he knew VERY well that he was my only friend, that i wasnt doing good and he still did it. i looked past it though, maybe because i was in denial or because i was too young to understand. they broke up and i dont remember what our friendship was like in that space. then he met another girl, valcee. they werent even dating they were just friends. he knew her for 5 months and then he left me again. that was early 2020. its ay 2021 and it still hasnt changed. he hant messaged me in 28 days, as much as i can remember i think thats a record. even then most of our conversations were started by me. ive messaged him a few times in the past months to vent and even then i can tell he doesnt care. i would understand if he was in a bad spot and didnt want to talk to anybody but i know for a FACT that he talks to valcee almost all of the time. when we talk it is often about her. they talk for literally days on end and stay on call while they sleep, he loses sleep for her too. and what do i get? half assed conversations and “you can get through this ik it 🥺” when i pour my soul out for him. so i know he can keep a conversation if he wants to, that if he cared he would show it. ive decided im not gonna text him anymore.

ive noticed that i struggle to eat. i think it’s more of a physical thing than mental. i can only stomach a bit before i start to gag. im so hungry sometimes but i cant eat and i dont understand why. maybe its because im autistic? i dont know. they dont notice either. when they take my dishes at lunch and there is still 90% of it there they dont seem to notice. same at tea. ill have a snack before bed though. i dont think i have an ED because im not cautious of gaining weight. ive never looked at the calories or avoided eating im fear of gaining weight. i just like.. can’t stomach much? by much i mean like half a plate of food. most of the time i get hungry to the point of pain and not being able to function properly but i still don’t eat. i cant. i don’t know why. it goes away eventually though, and i just feel tired. then i forget that i’m hungry and wait until my next meal. or i’ll eat something very small like a cookie or too and feel full. i don’t know why that is it’s very confusing. i’m hungry as i type this, but i can’t eat. i had a fajita for tea, and then about half of one about an hour ago. if i’m hungry why can’t i eat the whole thing? i don’t get it.

im trying so hard. im trying so ahrd and nothing is happening and i dont undertsnad why. why am i still like this why am i still alone why am i still ugly why am i still broken i dom t get why me what did i do please i just wanna be normal i cant evena be sad normal 

*a couple lines of this were written on 16/05/21 (but at 1am so technically it’s 15/05/21 but the rest was a few days ago but i don’t remember when

[hazelolive]

Hazy memories resurfaceing

Part 1

It was a pretty normal day in the devildom Kera was hanging out with Damien and just chilling playing some games when mammon decided to bust into her room quite literally.

"Hey Kera guess what you get the chance to entertain the great mammon."

"Im sorry Mammon but im currently hanging out with Damien right now. If you want though you can join our gaming session?"

He started to huff clearly not liking the idea.

"I was hoping we could go out on the town I was even planinng on letting you treat me to dinner."

"Treat you to dinner I feel like that should be the other way around." Damien said

"In his defense it is half the time hes come a long way."

He huffed "Hey! I cant tell if your insulting me or complimenting me there. Either way I feel like I should have first dibs because im your first!"

Damien spat out his water. "Excuse me?!"

"First pack. Hes the person I made a pack with first."

"Yeah and since im Keras first man I should get priority!"

"Yeah well if were going back that logic then I should actually get permanent first dibs because ive known her the longest."

"We grew up together since we were little!"

"How is that even possible though! Human and demons age differently!"

"Really?" I asked intrigued.

"Yeah since are life spans are so long it takes time for us to grow. Meaning you should be around the chihuahuas age if that were true!"

"Look I dont know how its possible it just is. I dont remeber much from my childhood. I just remeber my first memory is of Kera coming to save me from some kids that were bullying me. Everything before that is a blur and my head hurts when I try thinking about it so I just stopped trying."

Mammon looked generally confused after that statement and a little concerened.

"That kind of sounds like some weird curse to me."

"If it is do you think luci could dispell it?"

"I dont know but ive got things i got to even if someones not willingly to come with me."

"Promise I will next time!"

"You better!"

He left the room and I thought we were just going to go back to gaming but my mimd had other ideas.

"So how come youve never told me about your missing memories?"

"Well most people dont remeber a lot from the childhood right?"

"That depends on the person and most people dont have painful backlash when they try to. That almost sounds like some sort of ptsd thing to me."

"I dont know. I just cant remember he said grabbing at his head some."

"Sorry dont push it lets just play some games for now."

And they thought thatd be the end of it. He hung out with Kera for a while and then went back to the dorms he shared with solomon and them. But later that night he found himself tossing and turning sleeping restlessly.

Running, he was just running he didnt know what from he just knew that it was gaining on him and he couldnt stop if he stopped he was done for!

He tripped and fell, tumbled down a hill but felt it wasnt good enough. It was still there and he thought that that was it!

He woke up in a cold sweat. His hands were clammy and his body was shaking. What was that dream! And why did it feel so real.

He picked up his phone.

"Hey Kera can we talk?"

"Its 2am in the morning."

"Yeah sorry about that. Ill make it up to you. I just need to speak to someone. You see I had this really crazy dream I was running from something I couldnt see. But it felt so realistic like it was actually happening."

"I had a dream like that before because i could tell it was obviously fake still scared me a little though. I think if you just go back to bed itll be alright."

It seemed that way and for a while it was till he had a dream about a fire and being hirried away from something. Then just being alone.

He didnt know what these dreams meant but he felt they were important to him. And bot just something his mind had conjured to mess with him.

It got to the point where sometimes these visions would pop up while he was awake. He didnt understand them it was becoming painful to remeber but they kept showing up.

From visions of this running from who knows what to a small child in a new frightening world not sure what to do or where his next meal was going to come from just doing his best to survive.

It got so bad that he couldnt focus on anything but one day in class. He just remembered muttering the words please help me because he ended up passing out.

#obey me #obey me oc #damien #kera #part one of adding his backstory #i didnt come out quite how i pictured but its not to bad either #the next part should hopefully be better