#im gonna go on omegle and have some random person decide
Note
I just really love Two Person Love Triangles and Identity Porn. So, maybe a You've Got Mail AU? Or a superhero AU when one of them falls for both the masked hero and the secret identity?
because i love both of these aus i’ve written both!! but they’re pretty long bc i wouldn’t be me if i didn’t plot out an entire fic so the superhero au is here.
as for the you’ve got mail au, i went off and watched the movie for the first time and i am delighted by your taste anon,,, the au works so well!!
(okay for some reason tumblr won’t let me indent my bullets so idk how to fix that so big rip)
so we have lan & sons books, a company that prides itself on providing cheap books for everyone to read. think less evil corporation and more we wanted to provide easily accessible books for all people and ended up getting really rich off it
mr lan dadman was meant to be in charge but he ran off and lqr stepped up until lxc was old enough to take over and now lqr just kinda assists lxc when he needs help and does some other work
lqr is definitely the old guy who had a letter thing with this one woman who was enchanting but instead he was chatting to cssr and she was shameless
anyway lwj works as *random high up job that joe fox has* and his best work friend (and real friend) is jin zixuan
jin zixuan is the heir to some coffee franchise and the two families have a deal which is why you have the cafe inside the bookstores
we gonna give lwj some friends
as for wwx, his mother owned a bookstore, the burial mounds (why did she name it that?? idk she probably told bssr that she wanted to call it that as a joke and bssr tried to call her bluff so she ended up having to call it that a la suibian)
anyway he grew up with his mother and grandmother and they left the store to him (idk what happened to them?? maybe they just retired and are now travelling the world while wwx gets to have the bookstore)
now for the actual plot!!
lwj and wwx met on omegle an instant messaging site and now exchange emails. wwx goes by yiling patriarch and lwj goes by hanguang-jun bc we want that flavour
so they’ve been emailing for years and they never share any personal information - wwx knows that hgj has a pet rabbit but not hgj’s name or his job
as for the significant others?? idk let’s pretend they don’t exist.
wwx’s best friend nhs, who writes a column for so-and-so, always just comes over to his place and now he’s semi moved in and wwx isnt really sure why he’s here but he is.
lwj just vibes bc i can’t see him putting up with a patricia unless his uncle forced him to. even then he’d probably just be ~mysteriously~ gone while she’s home
maybe he has a really annoying pa who thinks its his job to come over and like make him breakfast. it’s su she,, it has to be
so wwx goes into work one morning and wen ning is waiting outside as he always is, ready for him to open and then like ten minutes later wen qing comes in and lastly granny wen comes in
why do they work together?? idk?? granny wen and bssr were close and so the wens and wwx kinda grew up as siblings? yeah i like that let’s go with that
so when cssr decided to go travelling wwx gets left with her store and he kinda knows how to run it but also he doesn’t have enough staff so he ends up hiring the wens (except granny who’s mostly there just to hang out with her family)
bonus: a-yuan always come to the shop after school and wwx gets to recreate the childhood he had with his mother with a-yuan. when the store closes wwx and a-yuan just twirl and twirl until they get too dizzy to stand up and then they lay on the floor and discuss their favourite book they’ve read this week. it’s very sweet
okay so the next day lwj gets to babysit his cousin/uncle/nephew/idk-how-they’re-related-person lan jingyi who is like eight or something?
they go out and hang at a festival and lwj does not buy him a goldfish bc i was very stressed by the way they treated the goldfish in the movie but he does get him balloons and a stuffed toy and plays all the games with him
eventually they’re walking back and see that the small bookstore near the new lan bookstore is hosting a story time so they go inside
lwj walks in and he’s immediately taken by the atmosphere of the store bc that place was absolutely beautiful and then he hears this voice and follows it around to the back of the store to see the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen in his life sitting on a kinda too small chair with a princess hat? cone? thing on top of his head
he’d planned to stay for like one story and then take jingyi home but he ends up staying for the entire book and it’s definitely not because the guy reading the book smiled at him once or twice
after the story time ends, lwj is reluctant to leave so he ends up letting jingyi pick a bunch of books and looks at a few fancy first edition books with wen qing
and maybe his mother used to love collecting books - the old ones with the yellowed pages and beautiful pictures - and that’s why lwj helps out with his family business,, bc he wants everyone to be able to have books like that (never mind that all their books are like mass produced and lack any sentimentality & the staff dont actually care about the books)
anyway he sees wwx help jingyi pick out books and lets him borrow his handkerchief when he sneezes and lwj’s like oh nooo he’s good with kids too so now he has to talk to him
so he goes up to buy the books and wwx’s telling jingyi about how much he likes daisies and lwj just blurts out “can i ask what your name is?” and wwx blinks but then smiles and is like i’m wei wuxian, but you can call me wei ying, and i own this store. what about you? and lwj is like wangji, you can call me wangji
wen qing takes one look at lwj and the way he’s staring at wwx and goes you’re going to come back aren’t you and lwj is trying so hard not to just run away so he just ignores her but then she mentions something about lan books and he’s Panicking and jingyi almost says that he’s a lan and lwj just kinda guides him over to a table and then goes back to flirt talk with wwx
anyway wwx ends up going on this big tangent about books and what they mean to people and the whole when you read a book as a child it becomes a part of your identity and who you’re going to become the way nothing else does (and lwj remembers his mother and her books) and then he apologises for going on and lwj is mentally going marry me, but he ends up calling wwx and his mother shameless
but it’s okay!! wwx & cssr are proud of it!
and then yada yada lwj buys the kinda expensive books and ends up awkwardly shepherding jingyi out of the store
cut to the next day when the lan book store opens properly and lwj ends up telling lqr about how he met wwx and lqr is like >:/ the son of that shameless woman,, how terrible,, it’s okay he won’t be a problem for long bc they’ll be driven out of business. which isn’t the response lwj wanted but lxc seems supportive enough if a bit concerned about how it would work with them as business enemies
business is already bad for wwx and it’s barely been a week since the lan store opened and he’s pretty bummed out but hopeful that maybe it’s a fluke
then nhs invites him to some fancy dinner with him bc wei-xiong they’re all so boring and smart and have opinions, please don’t make me have opinions so wwx gets dragged along
he ends up talking to lwj at the bar bc how could he not talk to the man who’s standing in front of all that fancy alcohol and getting some fruit juice. (he’d get water but lwj has had to put up with su she all evening so he needs something stronger)
anyway they chat and it’s pleasant but then after wwx gets approached by someone who’s like wow im surprised you’re talking to lan wangji and wwx is like lan?!
cue their passive aggressive argument around the food table complete with caviar and a turkey knife.
now bc it’s lan wangji,, instead of making scathing comebacks he just makes like factual and to-the-point statements that end up being really bitchy (or does he intend them to be that way? it’s a mix of both of them tbh but in this case he’s definitely being bitchy on purpose) and wwx is spluttering bc that boy does not stand up well against hot and mad people
nhs ends up coming over and defusing the situation but wwx makes a point of stealing the rest of the caviar off lwj’s plate before leaving
lwj ends up ducking out early as well to avoid su she and emails wwx that night at like 9:45 bc the guilt of being so rude kept him up late and yllz is like oh no that’s so sad ): but impressive! i wish i could zing people,, my brain just turns off the second i need to make a comeback
creative liberties,, wwx is good at teasing but not being genuinely mean? lets go with that
anyway now we get the delightful montage of wwx hiding behind cheese displays and lwj walking out of coffee stores with a newspaper covering his face as they try to avoid each other
when wwx gets in the wrong line at the supermarket lwj comes over and kinda glares the checkout woman into submission and gets her to let wwx use his card which wwx is really conflicted about bc why would he help me?? and once again angry lwj = hot lwj
a few weeks later wwx ends up asking hgj for help bc business isn’t getting any better but refuses to give any details and i refuse to have lwj watch the godfather so lwj just straight up messages him and is like tear that bitch apart
and so wwx decides to tear that bitch apart and asks nhs for help. nhs, fan of the arts and small businesses and local culture, is 100% down for it and writes a scathing article about lan books and how they’re destroying all the aforementioned things nhs cares about
it ends up getting a lot of traction and people show up to protest and wwx even goes on television
lwj ends up seeing the news coverage on the matter while he’s at the gym with jzx
jzx is 100% the guy who goes to the gym just to apathetically walk on the treadmill while lwj jogs
he sees the interview with wwx and lwj is like he’s not this nice in real life and jzx is like you met him?? and lwj is like mn. then jzx is like i bet he’s not as hot and lwj is completely silent but his ears are bright red and that’s how jzx knows that wwx is just that hot
also?? lwj goes on tv and says like three words and he’s kinda annoyed how the news decided to spin that but he also said like three words so what did he expect?
but, despite all the publicity, sales don’t get any better so wwx is like fine can we meet in person and lwj is like sure
he brings jzx along bc he doesn’t know the way there, it’s not because he’s nervous and kind of in love with yllz, it’s because he doesn’t know how to get to the cafe. (it’s two blocks from his apartment)
anyway jzx is like oof man it’s seems like yllz is wwx but he is that hot so not all is lost and lwj is like yikes no not happening im not going in but he also feels bad about standing wwx up so he ends up going in and sitting down in front of wwx
and lwj is like wei wuxian, all this publicity will do nothing to save your business and wwx is like lan wangji who do you think you are (or however that scene goes) but instead of lwj being asked to leave wwx decides he’s not gonna chicken out first so they end up spending like two hours having the most aggressive cup of coffee and chat he’s ever had
lwj is exhausted but he also refuses to give up
but then wwx spits something about how lwj is some cold, heartless suit who doesn’t actually care about or appreciate books so how can he possibly dare to think that he’s better than wwx and that hurts bc lwj had thought that he’d been doing exactly that so he leaves
anyway the next morning wwx is moping around the bookstore bc he didn’t get stood up, he swears. am i not cute enough he moans to wen qing and she’s like your hgj doesn’t know what you look like. but what about my personality? is that cute enough? and wen qing eventually manages to grit out that yes it is cute enough
wen ning comes in and is like are you okay? you got stood up? that’s good! your date might have been the rooftop killer xue yang! he got caught last night! and wwx is like i wish, i just got stood up like a chump
so they ignore each other for a few weeks bc wwx is very hurt and lwj doesn’t know what he’s going to say but wwx ends up caving and emails hgj about how guilty he feels and how even though wwx probably means nothing to lwj, he’s worried that maybe he did hurt lwj and also please hgj i still want to talk to you
now hgj never says a lot, he’s always really succinct and direct but this time he takes the time to write a proper apology. it’s not an explanation bc he doesn’t want to give this up, even if the yllz he thinks he loves is the wwx that he hates, but it is an apology
the next day wwx goes to lunch with granny wen and finally dares to ask her whether it would be okay to shut the store down. he doesn’t want, of course he doesn’t want to, but he doesn’t think he can afford to keep it open. granny just tells him that it’s okay and that if the time has come, the time has come
we don’t have to worry about wwx breaking up with anyone, so he just goes home and asks nhs if he can have some space and nhs quickly packs his stuff and goes home. as he stands in the doorway with his last box of stuff he tells wwx that he’s sorry and wishes he could help more and wwx sends him this tremulous smile but manages to hold it together until nhs leaves and then he cries and cries
the next day he goes back to work and tries to stay bubbly and cheery even as he sees all of his shelves slowly being emptied and people who haven’t stepped foot in his store in six months are telling him what a shame it is and how they wish it didnt have to come to this and wwx is internally screaming
he manages to stave off any actual screaming but when he closes up that day he ends up going to the children’s section of lan bookstore and just as he had thought, none of the staff care about the books, none of them know any books and he ends up recommending a series to some young mother
lwj, who’d spotted wwx and come over to see if whether he was here to pick a fight, comes to the awful realisation that maybe wwx is right about his store lacking heart
he goes home that night and su she tags along even though lwj just wants space and the elevator breaks. he’s sitting there on the ground listening to his neighbour talk about reconnecting with family and the elevator button pressing dude talks about getting engaged and su she is just there whining about his job and the inconvenience and lwj goes fuck this. when the elevator starts working again he grabs his rabbit and goes back down to the ground floor, ignores su she’s shouts, and goes back to his childhood home
wwx gets stuck closing his store down. he looks around at the shelves and tables he’d grown up with and sees his childhood and a-yuan’s and countless moments he’s had with people he’s loved and realises he’s going to lose it all forever. he grabs the bell, the last thing he has left of the store and closes up for the very last time
in the meantime, lwj is living the high life. he hangs out with his bunny, gets to read pride and prejudice for fun and actually manages to get all the way through it and then his brother comes to visit
apparently he’d broken up with jgy bc he was gold digger-esque and had decided to run off with someone richer and lwj is like oh thats so sad ): anyway nmj is right there and he fills your heart with joy and lxc is like have you ever had someone like that? and lwj immediately thinks of wwx and is like fuck
his first order of business is to buy wwx’s shop bc it broke my heart that she didn’t get it back in the og movie and he starts filling it with books again. he buys ten copies of his mother’s favourite books and places them on the shelf by the door and then he sees a book that reminds him of jingyi so gets some of them and he sees a book covered in daisies and thinks of wwx. and slowly, slowly he’s building up his own library, his own store, and this time every single book means something and for once lwj looks out across the floor with pride and satisfaction
his second order of business is to apologise to wwx for being a dick. he buys some daisies and goes to his place and comes in and cooks soup for wwx. lwj apologises and tells him it wasn’t personal and wwx is like that’s not true, it was personal to me and it’s personal to a lot of people and lwj understands that now. he remembers the way he’d filled wwx’s store and left his own touch and bared his heart through each of those books and he understands. he doesn’t actually say this and just tells wwx that he wants to be friends
lwj considers coming clean about being hgj but he knows now that he definitely loves wwx and knows that wwx currently hates him but damn is it hard not to say anything when wwx is telling him how much he loves hgj
anyway he’s like organise a meeting again with hgj
i’d say it’s ooc for lwj not to come clean but this is the man who pined for x decades and just didnt tell wwx that his son was alive so like not ooc at all
so lwj decides he’s going to woo wwx as best as he can and organises to meet up with yllz and then goes and meets with wwx and they end up going to hang out and for some strange reason, even though wwx keeps getting stood up, he doesn’t seem to care too much. he keeps agreeing to meet hgj and when he doesn’t show is more than happy to spend the rest of his day with lwj
and slowly, they start to get closer. wwx takes a sip of lwj’s coffee and lwj buys him daisies. wwx brings him an interesting book and lwj tells him about his mother. they chat freely about hgj and lwj is happy for the first time in a long time
eventually lwj organises the final meeting. wwx is really confused about the place he picked but he’s hopeful that maybe this time hgj will show. after wwx and lwj’s farmers market date ends, lwj ends up asking wwx if he could love lwj and wwx is like you put me in such an uncomfortable situation. ie stammering and blushing and eventually going oh no ill be late and running off
anyway a couple hours later wwx finds himself standing outside his old bookstore and he refuses to look at it bc he doesn’t want to see what it’s become but then, through the open door of the store, a bunny hops out and over to wwx
lwj comes running out after it calling out its name (bichen?? flopsy?? rabbit?? one of them) and wwx looks up and is like oh,, it’s you, i’d hoped it was you and he’s all teary and lwj has a handkerchief that he’d embroidered himself (with gentians of course) and he’s like dont cry yllz and then they kiss and it’s beautiful
bonus: lwj takes wwx inside the store and shows him everything and explains the meaning behind every book that they’ve picked and then wwx does cry for real bc there is definitely an entire two walls dedicated just to wwx
do they open the store as a bookstore again and work together? does wwx end up writing books?? idk up to you. i like the idea that they open the store for story time and sell children’s books but lwj still works with lan & sons to get some heart in their stores and wwx works on his own books in his spare time
#Anonymous#mdzs#modao zushi#mo dao zu shi#wei wuxian#lan wangji#wangxian#cql#the untamed#asks#thank you so much for the ask i had a lot of fun making this!#let me know if you'd like anything else!!
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aaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!! helloooo mods!!!!!!!!! SO! instead of a specific AU, I thought about an author shoutout! what are each mod's fave kaisoo authors? and maybe you could give us one of their underrated stories and/or your favorite that they wrote! Ps: you are all amazing and beautiful and I love you!
HELLOOOO~ this is a great idea annonie uwu. Here are our fav authors (both ever and at the moment) with our fav + underrated fics that we love from them.
I’m excited because this is my first time talking about my fav authors so here it goes~
timefortea
My favorites: Something I Gotta Say (Tom and Jerry) (enemies to lovers au clair de lune (wolf au, royalty au + topsoo, iconic) and Anti-Climax (just read it it’s real hot)
Underrated: What’s Good, Princess? (hs au, crack, please im still laughing), Who You Gonna Call? (ghost busters au, TRULY UNDERRATED GO READ IT)
w_anderingheart
My favorites: Amid Shadows (hitmen + mafia au, one of the first fics i read and still so good), there are no wrong mistakes (college au, puppy love nini and nerdy soo, so cute and amazing)
sooblushes
My favorites: run batted in (college + sports au, baldsoo will forever be legendary), deep tissue (i am drooling jongin is soo’s new massage therapist :-))
Underrated: pause, rewind (this baeksoo but its soooo good and sexy)
jongnugget
My favorites: Love Me Right (hs + sports au, if you haven’t read this yet… where have you been?), Kiss and Cry (figure skater au, one of the most beautiful fics i’ve ever read), and of course The Devil Wears Gucci (fashion au, the devil wears prada inspired and a masterpiece)
Underrated: Break a Leg (college au + drama club au, this is SO good i love it so much), Carpe Diem (salem witch trials inspired, so unique and so good Bite Me (vampire au, we are so blessed this exists)
verseau
My favorites: lately all i want is you on top of me (college au, ~discovering their sexuality~, this is already one of my fav fics ever), spreading inside of me (college professors au but like, really sexy and beautifully written)
Underrated: by my side (love this, see admin w’s commentary. go read it
at1stsoo
My favorites: Campaigning for Your Heart (college au + enemies to lovers, politics, but like it’s too good i’m in love ALSO THE SEQUEL), A Slice of Summer Love (college au, pizza delivery guy au, so cute and the pining i love love love), Lawyer Up (My Ass) (you were all expecting this one and here it is bc im still shook and amazed by this lawyer au), What the Nightingale Spies (spy au, legendary)
Underrated: Push the Pedal Down (hs au where bffs kaisoo escape the school to go on a small road trip Birthday Roulette (this so cute and funny i love it, go read it)
indigomini
My favorites: Pay Me Some Mind (pretty sure this is the first fic i read from her and i’m still in love! college au, fwb to lovers Dark Shadows (Are Woken Inside of Me) (oof wolf au and jong discovers he’s an alpha and soo is in heat and jong is obsessed), Puppy Love (bartender nini is hot asf and soo thinks so too) and finally! Yes, Alpha (wolf au again with soo being nini’s personal in-house chef, fucking love this fic i can’t get enough even after every update)
Underrated: Romantic In Theory (im crying i love this so much jongin is so cheesy and its like crack but the smut is good and they’re just goals)
I have to add parkourdeer because he was one of the first authors I loved and I still love his fics very much.
- Admin Macaroon
t_dragon - is on a roll, so many kaisoo fics and still counting!
SM Origins: Kai - x-men au. it’s slightly more jongin-centric but i personally love the bestfriends-to-love dynamic he has with kyungsoo here :’)
Perfection - hurt comfort but also fluff, jongin is training so hard to become the best dancer but he only hurts himself in the process and kyungsoo is having none of it
coppertears - one of the classic authors (been around since 2012/13 yet!!) and all their kd fics are perfect, I defo recommend reading them all!
landfall - stripper!kai + office worker!soo fall in love with each other (the push and pull rls ufgh)
maybe in hell, there is a heaven - umm this is not for the faint-hearted :’) it’s a war au with some graphic scenes, jongin is a prisoner, kyungsoo is one of the commanders, but he always is there to protect jongin much to jongin’s surprise
mercuryretrograte/brujadelmar - amazing amazing amazing, i hope they’ll write more
fav: begging you to keep on haunting me - hybrid au, bodyguard au. jongin is a famous dancer but he’s also a swan hybrid and one evening, he receives a death threat. feared for his life, he hires the best bodyguards also hybrids to protect him day in day out
underrated: Ursae Minoris - game of thrones inspo. i dont watch GoT but i’m sure this fics is only loosely inspired by it. and it’s bomb! jongin got married into a new family and he learns about their different culture (ongoing)
xingnini- angst is good but comedy is the real mvp!
underrated: Itaidōshin (Army of Two) - zombie au + comedy au aka when they try to escape the zombies and fight as one but they AREN’T IN SYNC AT ALL also farmboy!jongin bless and chanhun are so fUNNY
Jjeut Jjeut (Tsk, Tsk) - college/enemies to lovers nerd/straight A’s jongin pisses kyungsoo with his unnecessary questions in class so much he wants to fight him but jongin just made him accidentally agree to go on a date instead HAHA freshman jongin is sooo qt
tinylittlepaws - cute, will they write more? ;_;
Say Hi! - omegle!au and the whole shebang :D in which Jongin is bored and alone on a sunday night and decides to try something new with a Random Stranger on the internet.
Tonight is The Night - het is not many ppl’s fav, but this one is really nice OTL girl!nini is feeling brave one night with soo and makes him go down on her :))
ladyLiliah - they only have a few kaisoo fics but they slap!
Dunes - non au, smut, exo visits dubai again but this time with kyungsoo and jongin is ecstatic c:
Afloat - slice of life non au, smut, both train together and de-stress together yup
kaichocosoo - sooo many great kd fics idek what to rec first tbh! their spn au is gold!
Golden - vampire/werewolf au, kyungsoo is a vampire who has dated many times before but now baek convinces him to go this one with someone he thinks could be ‘the one’ for kyungsoo c:
Hunt Me Not - jongin is determined to be a good vampire hunter but he’s very much into his mentor hunter prodigy kyungsoo (shy!jongin hehe)
AbsoluteZXING - has a number of kaisoo fics and theyre qt :’)
Afterlight - first fic i read, this is celebrity au/ bestfriends au…the ending just reminded me of Trees of Heaven drama, i love this :(
No Promises - jongin is not happy he had to leave kyungsoo (he is now an angel), but fate has a different plan for them
potslooshi - a few but very nice kd fics uwu
Chances: The blind side - blind!soo is recovering from an accident and kai, who is junmyeon’s brother and soo’s doctor promises jun to pretend to be soo’s husband to help him heal
Videre - non au smut with some cute moments of them travelling overseas (hj, dirty talk)
lovelyairi - from fluff to angst to smut this author can do it all c:
Make Me Love You - jongin seeks pleasure in a club but he gets more than expected - a pureblood vampire royalty ;) kyungsoo’s shaved head + purple eyes is a wonderful concept
Gentleman - kyungsoo goes to watch Hyung (yeees the movie he’s starring in) in theatres but there’s a person who’s sobbing loudly next to him which is quite annoying!
Minty_Pixie - the queen of Garnet Hearts! but also of many other incredible fics *u*
Read Me Right - superpowers/abilities, kyungsoo can read people’s minds by a simple touch and he respects jongin’s boundaries (until one day he touches him in an attempt to wake him up from a nightmare)
Through Fire and Ashes - 84k zombie/post-apocalypse au oh em gee!!!! if you are into zombie au and survival theme w lots of heartbreak and action and kd being in love so much they withstand literally everything, what are u waiting for!
life_not_knife - people stop sleeping on this author!!
Hybrid Hyperbole - wolf au, the history of wolves has been always been full of violence, and mistreatment. it is a challenge for both to defy even if it means they’ll have to deal with repercussions
So Damn Hot! - d/s elements, sub!ks and dom!jongin well done uwu
kxdlola120 - nearly 40 kaisoo fics of various genres and aus? thank you for your service :’)
Crimson pink - vampire au, jongin sacrificed by his town to save them from extinction but the vampire he was sold to has seet his eyes on him long before. ongoing!!
Blue - hello angst :’(( jongin is always by kyungsoo’s side and would follow him everywhere, but he doesn’t get to follow him home… (w for terminal illness)
I’ve listed my favourites several times before and that pretty much still stands, these authors are my faves but also who I feel aren’t talked about much! I’ll make sure to rec more authors when I rmb ^^ - Admin J
strange-seas
Faves: The Loneliest Place to Be, Through the Midnight Streets, A Heart at Peace
Underrated: Somewhere Only We Know (it’s SeKai but it’s underrated AND IT’S FRIGGIN BEAUTIFUL)
unfinishedpages
Faves: Do Overs and Second Chances, Something Lost, Something Borrowed.
Underrated: Tahanan, (Watch me make them bow) One by, one by one
jongnugget
Faves: Kiss From a Rose, The Devil Wears Gucci
Underrated: Peace of Mind
verseau
Fave: spreading inside of me
Underrated: by my side (THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY NICE & A SOFTER, MORE ANGSTY TAKE ON THE USUAL MAFIA AU OK MORE PPL SHLD READ THIS)
Have to put these in cuz they’ll always be my faves: changdictator, uponinfinity, rainbowtoxicity, w_anderingheart, curryramyeon, and of course arosoo
- Admin W
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You both like advice.
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Stranger: me suck her breasts
You: ok? thatll lead to fucking
You: and she can go to jail for that
Stranger: who’s gonna find out
You: me lol
You: also whats up with your dad
Stranger: he’s old and fat
You: lmao
Stranger: i’m 6’2 taller then him
Stranger: he’s 5’11
You: wow thats hot youre so tall
Stranger: well i’m not unattractive looking and i like the look of my body
You: im 5'3
Stranger: uoure a girl?
You: uh yeah
Stranger: how old?
You: 14 lol
Stranger: awe haha
Stranger: this was kinda weird sorry then lmao
Stranger: if i had a girlfriend who babied me i’d be so happy
You: not your mom right
You: bc we arent doing that?
You: bc she gave birth to you??
Stranger: i think i just have pent up sexual thoughts
Stranger: i don’t think i’d do anything just it’s frustrating
You: ik
Stranger: like
You: shits gonna be weird every family reunion
Stranger: she constantly does things that make me think she wants it but it’s definitely me jus throng horny
You: ok so she def has a problem
You: who tf she is
Stranger: at 16 is it normal that she kisses my lips?
You: yes
You: does she use tounge?
Stranger: a lot of people here say no
Stranger: and no but i wish she did
You: haha you might just be fooling urself
Stranger: so like
Stranger: the other day i had to go to the post office and mom told me to throw all my
Stranger: clothes in the wash when i got home
Stranger: then to shower
Stranger: so i did and i normally always have pants on because i don’t like walking in just boxers so i ran quickly to the bathroom
Stranger: and she was in there and i’m in my underwear and she’s cleaning, i told her i had to get in and i got hard bc she was wearing no bra with a loose shirt :(
Stranger: she kept bumping against me as she left and it made me harder and she kept looking at jt
You: how old is she just wondering
Stranger: like 39
You: um ok
Stranger: looks like 32
You: can you do me a favor
Stranger: yes
You: please for the love of god go on dr phil
Stranger: lmao no
You: so i can say my bff from omegle is on dr phil after he tried to fuck his mom
You: has she ever explicity said anything weird
Stranger: she does enough to make me think, too little to confirm it. yesterday i went to the bathroom when she walked in and i said “i can’t pee when your in here” and turned around enough so she could see my dick and she said “when i was a baby i saw your pp all the time and you
Stranger: peed all over me!”
Stranger: so i laughed and hugged her :(
You: BRO WTF
You: THAT IS SO UNBELIEVABLY UNPROBLEMATIC
Stranger: :(
You: PROBLEMATIC
You: ok that would be a nice story if she wasnt literaly your mom
Stranger: :( can i say it’s my step mom
Stranger: would you feel beyter
You: yes i would
Stranger: so we are talking about my step mom who does this what do i do to be able to get further?
You: just get her pregnant and youll be the father of your half sibling
You: um well like to seduce her
You: or just in general
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: just like
Stranger: i want to know
Stranger: if she wants what i want
Stranger: without ruining everything
Stranger: i give her kisses but even if i don’t pull away she pulls away first
You: walk in when shes changing and dont leave
You: ok so i saw this thing on dr phil right
You: Well I saw two things
You: One was a mother in law and her daughters husband
Stranger: it’s like she’ll ask me to leave if she’s changing, but if she’s peeing in the room i she stands up and wipes in front of me and shows her pussy
You: then dont leave and wait for her to make a move on you
You: youve seen her pussy?
Stranger: yes but like she doesn’t like
Stranger: idk
You: ok so basically the mom walked in while he was jacking off
You: and then she jacked him off so if you want that ig you could try that??
Stranger: but i can’t just let her catch me jacking off what if she got embarassed
You: does she masturbate?
Stranger: she fucks my dad srill
Stranger: still
You: ok then show up right after they finish
You: while shes still naked but hes out of the room
Stranger: thays the problem. i can’t really do that.
Stranger: so i know they fuck when they say goodnight then get up to go to the bsthroom
Stranger: because they have to get ready for bed after they fuck
Stranger: but they say goodnight before then and lock their dolf
Stranger: door
You: well have her walk in on you right
You: and make direct eye contact
You: whats the best advice youve gotten so far i just wanna know
Stranger: well like. when i use the bathroom when she’s in there i’ll show it off and masturbate a little and tell her i’m having trouble prring
Stranger: peeing
You: oh ok
You: has anyone given you any good ideas
Stranger: that was a good idea i thought
Stranger: i haven’t done that much yet
Stranger: but i want to more
Stranger: ohh there’s one more
Stranger: when i get sick and i’m all alone with her i want to call for her in the bathroom if i take a shower or tub
Stranger: and tell her i feel ike i’m gonna be sick
Stranger: and show my hard cock
You: haha ok
Stranger: i’ve been walking around hard and pushing it against her when i can
Stranger: hugs from behind and kisses on the lips
Stranger: and she’s been wearing bras where her nipples fall out lots
You: I really like you but idk what to tell you
Stranger: and like the other night we watched tv and she put her legs on top of me and rested one on my crotch but didn’t make it obvious. if it happens again i’ll press her feet down on it
Stranger: you like me?? but i’m weird as fuck
You: your problem is so fucking specific
Stranger: hahaha
You: no i dont like you like you
You: I think your a good person
Stranger: what makes you say that?
You: But idk if I should be helping you by preventing you from doing this
You: Or give you ideas?
Stranger: give me ideas
You: idk you seem nice
Stranger: right now i’m sitting on my bed with a hard cock just thinking about it. talking about it helps relieve some of the stresss
You: like youre horny as fuck but not as much as some other people
Stranger: like i’m i circumsised right? and i think my mum likes it thay was since she was the one who decided
Stranger: un^*
You: ok
Stranger: so when i show her when i’m soft i think she actually enjoys it
You: so i have a question about like circumcised and that stuff
Stranger: and like when i take the head out it’s super sensitive and i just want my step mommy to give me kisses there :(
Stranger: yes please!
You: i feel like circumsising your cocks like a religous thing right?
You: like its not as common
Stranger: exactly yes
Stranger: mostly common in jews but for some reason most americans do it
You: are you a jew?
Stranger: they think it looks better but i love the way it feels and looks
Stranger: nope because i am uncircumsized
You: wait but like
Stranger: jews are the ones who circumsise
You: this shits so confusing
You: ok i feel like circumsised penises look more normal??
Stranger: hahah yeah a bit, my mommy didn’t want any chances of it going wrong and hurting my dick
You: is that just my opinion ive seen that more
You: she wont hurt your dick
Stranger: i like am so horny talking to you it’s crazy i’m sorry
Stranger: circumsised dudes normally have a super sensitive tip, because the skin goes over the heads
Stranger: head
You: oh wait is it bc guys normally jack off and then we the head
Stranger: if i pull my skin back, it looks the exact same as a circumsised one
You: idk bro it shouldnt matter but ive been really confused
You: yeah that makes sense
Stranger: it’s ok, if you love someone it doesn’t matter the size of their tits dick the shape of their cock or vag it’s all normal
Stranger: you know?
You: are you insecure about yours or smth
Stranger: not at all, there’s things that make it not very normal but i like it
Stranger: like when i’m hard it’s curved upward, a lot of dicks do it’s not perfectly straight
Stranger: and i have foreskin which a lot of guys don’t hahe
Stranger: but it makes it more special i guess thinking someone would wanna give my pp kisses regardless of how it looks
You: yeah girls literaly have no prefrence of it
You: they dont care
You: well
Stranger: as long as it’s clean and nice and smells good it’s fine :)
Stranger: i shave because i like the way it feels
You: i was talking to a guy earlier whos complaining about his gf not liking his big dick
You: wait was that about vaginas
Stranger: i’m 6-7 is that too big too small or average?
You: average i think
Stranger: that’s good :) i have a thick cock too
Stranger: it looks nice is what i’m saying
You: thats good
Stranger: i like romance
Stranger: a fon
Stranger: ton
Stranger: i’d get so turned on my cuddling and small soft kisses
You: i dont really think thats a guys thing
Stranger: when my mom wakes me up in the morning i wrap my arms around her and kiss her and pull her on top of me
Stranger: then she gets up
You: um ok thats nice
Stranger: step mom
Stranger: what do you like
Stranger: are you a virgin?
Stranger: i am
You: yeah obviously
Stranger: hmm what size titties do you have?
Stranger: you don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortsbld
Stranger: i just like imagining
Stranger: thay maybe someone like you was here next to me
You: idk what do you think
You: oh well i guess you wouldnt know
Stranger: haha i’ll give a guess uhh B cup
You: yeah thats right actually
You: but sometimes they get a little bigger
Stranger: i’m 180 pounds 6’2 i’m 6-7 inches long i’m white with blackish hair thay is parted in the middle and people tell me i have a nice smir
Stranger: smile
You: haha ok thank you
Stranger: haha :)
Stranger: do you think it’s wrong for me to wanna start showing my pp to my mommy
You: yes
You: but i still accept you
Stranger: tank you :))
You: haha ur welcome
Stranger: hey i think you’re cute. i don’t know you very well but since i’m talking to you i want you to know if you were here i’d snuggle with you and kiss your titties <3
You: i didnt like you that much till i found out your hairs parted in the middle
You: aw ok
Stranger: my pp wants kisses :(
You: hey i have to go in a sec
You: if you wanna keep talking you can give your snap or smth
You: but if you dont want to its fine
Stranger: i have terrible anxiety and i told you i wanted to like do things with my mommy :( i would so give you it but i’ve probably already fucked myself
You: wdym
Stranger: like you said it’s illegal to fuck my mom
Stranger: and i told you i was gonna tru my best to
You: jesus i wont tell anybody
You: but i swear if you dont to its fine
You: *dont want to
You: you still there?
Stranger: yes sorry
Stranger: ;-; i just don’t know
You: ok i literaly have to go now
Stranger: i’m dorry
Stranger: sory
Stranger: <3 thanks for taking wit me
You: ok i hope you end up alright
You: see ya
Stranger: same to you thanks for being super understanding and helpful to talk to
Stranger: hoenstly
Stranger: made my heart happy
Stranger: <3 <3
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Photo
Talking to a stranger
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: BUILD THAT WALL!!
You: BUILD THAT WALL!!
Stranger: what?
You: MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!
You: DON'T YOU AGREE?
Stranger: how old are you
You: like 5
You: and a half
Stranger: lol
You: Nah man wassup girl
You: how are you?
Stranger: do you like getting stoned
You: Hell yea
You: you got something?
Stranger: what time is it whereever you are
Stranger: nah i'm just stoned
You: 15:00
You: And I'm sitting at home on omegl
You: My life is great
Stranger: are you spreading weird propaganda about trump
Stranger: on omegle
You: Hell yea thats my dog
You: Don't you agree with him?
You: I just think that the world should belong to us white people you know
You: We gotta stick together imma right?
Stranger: you think im white?
You: Looks pretty white too me?
Stranger: cool
You: Where you from then?
Stranger: Singapore
You: Oh shit
You: Just like my ucnle
Stranger: lmaooooooooooooo
Stranger: i'm gonna take a hit k
You: You got a bong?
You: hahahaha
You: Oh shit you one of them cute girls, that look all innocent
You: But you lowkey bad as fuck
You: I love that
Stranger: such a stoner
You: Hahaha man I could use a hit too
You: Oh damn
You: You took that real nice
You: SO how do you get weed and stuff in singapor?
Stranger: i dont live in singapore
You: Oh so where do live?
Stranger: where you from
You: Try and guess
Stranger: US?
You: Nah
You: No ones ever guesses it right
You: It's in europe
Stranger: europe
Stranger: ah
Stranger: uk
Stranger: ?
You: Sort of close
Stranger: how old are you anywway
You: We have shit weather just like them
You: 18
Stranger: im in melboune
You: AND A HALF
Stranger: talk about shit weather
You: Oh ofcourse
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: im 19
You: Ain't it like summer in australia?
Stranger: yeah
You: That must be trippy as hell
You: So it's warm af during christmas?
Stranger: pretty much
You: You're wild
Stranger: just love my weed
You: Do you often just sit and get high by yourself?
Stranger: sometimes
Stranger: my friends
Stranger: arent here
Stranger: so i decided
Stranger: to stumble upon this place
Stranger: hoping its not a dick
Stranger: or a bot
You: How you know I'm not a bot?
You: or a dick
Stranger: nah as in
Stranger: a lot of people are just
Stranger: dick pics
Stranger: or dick cams
Stranger: whatever
You: Are yea I get it
You: It's like gay porn on here
Stranger: yeah
You: Is it late?
Stranger: yes
You: In melbourne
Stranger: 1.11
Stranger: am
You: Sunday?
Stranger: monday morning
You: Don't you have school tomorrow
You: ?
Stranger: yes
You: That fucking sick
Stranger: the key to people not thinking youre stoned
Stranger: is to be stoned all the time
You: You is smart
You: Gotta remember that one
You: You often stoned in school?
Stranger: anecdotes you learn from omegle
Stranger: done it before
Stranger: dont do it in tutorials
Stranger: tho
Stranger: dont recommend it
Stranger: ahahha
Stranger: esp the discussive ones
You: Hahaahah
Stranger: get too slow
You: Man why don't girls like you attend my school
Stranger: stoner girls?
You: Litterally half my class thinks weed is the devil cabage
Stranger: lmao
Stranger: devil cabbage
Stranger: omg
Stranger: its life
Stranger: its magiv
Stranger: magic
Stranger: its love
Stranger: i love to cook while i'm high
Stranger: i like to bake while i'm baked
You: Punss for dayys
Stranger: i have chocolate chip cookies now
You: Oh man you got me hungry
Stranger: my friends call me munch queen
Stranger: we used to get high with each other
Stranger: and i'll just buy lots of food
You: I love food too
You: It's like one of the best things in life
Stranger: i agree
You: Trying to watch this football watch
You: Hence why I'm looking away sometimes
Stranger: what match is it
You: Man city - Swansea
Stranger: the opposing team
Stranger: my dad supports man u
You: Nah fuck them
You: I'm sorry but your dads a scum
You: I don't like Man city either
Stranger: you hold strong opinions m8
You: Liverpool <3
You: AHHAHAAH you look mad stoned
Stranger: i am
You: You live alone?
Stranger: for now
Stranger: my housemate is moving in soon
You: So your in ilike college
Stranger: uni
You: Oh damn ain't that kinda early?
You: Yo those ropes look mad comfy!
Stranger: they are
Stranger: i guess so
You: I need cop myself one
You: Here in Denmark you don't attend Uni untill your like 21
Stranger: holy
Stranger: i graduate when i'm 21
You: What are you gonna do after?
You: You figured it out yet?
Stranger: nopeeeeee
Stranger: idk
You: Nah me neither
Stranger: what you doing now
You: Shit it's hard to find out what you wanna do rest of your life
Stranger: just take it slow
You: Don't think theres a word for it in English
Stranger: stoned
You: It's called "gymnasium"
Stranger: do you like chocolate
You: School leve wise it's kinda like High school and college
You: *level
Stranger: ah i see
Stranger: cool beans
Stranger: laptops are so hot
Stranger: what music do you listen to
You: Oh sotty
You: *sorry
Stranger: nvm football game
You: Right now Kendirck
You: Lamar
Stranger: sweet
Stranger: he's really good
You: You know the song Hood politics?
You: It's the one I'm listening to right now
You: It's fucking sick
You: How bout you?
You: You rate Drake?
You: I fucking hate Drake
Stranger: hahahah
Stranger: more into old sch rap?
Stranger: or like
Stranger: more lyrical rap
You: Oh for real?
Stranger: do you like rap that tells a story?
You: Hell yea
Stranger: there's an artist called hopsin
Stranger: um
Stranger: the song
Stranger: lemme go see
You: Ah yea I went too see him live last year
You: He came to my city
Stranger: omgggggg
You: fucking lit
Stranger: sick
You: I love his Ill mind series
Stranger: me too
You: But he kinda had beef with Tyler the Creator
You: Which btw is my dad
Stranger: i think tyler is weird anyway
Stranger: ahhahahaa
You: Yea but I love that
You: he's crazy
Stranger: but like
Stranger: his songs just feel disruptive
Stranger: i need the beats smooth
You: Listen to treehouse
Stranger: i'm just a chill person
You: og smuckers
You: Smuckers is incredible
You: One of my fav songs ever
Stranger: i like childisj gambino
Stranger: but you probs hate
Stranger: him
Stranger: ahahahah
You: Oh shit yea Donald GLover he's my 2. dad
You: Nah I fukcing love him
You: You heard aweken ly love then right?
You: *my
Stranger: don;t think so actually
You: His new album
You: It's amazing
Stranger: i like v 3005
Stranger: and sweatpants
You: Yea that's my fucking jam!!
Stranger: but i havnet heard the new album
You: Listen to it, it's a lot different
You: but still very good
You: OH THAT REMINDED ME FRANK OCEAN IS COMMING TO MY CITY TOO THIS SUMMER
You: IM SO FUKCING EXCITED FOR THAT!
You: What's going on?
Stranger: cool beans
You: Is the shits hitting you hard?
You: haha
Stranger: a little
You: Man don't you think you need to get some sleep soon?
You: If you finna have school tommorow
Stranger: true
Stranger: k
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: bye
You: Wait
You: Do you have insta?
Stranger: yeah
You: I need to see that pretty face again
Stranger: butterfruit
You: Fucking butterfruit hell yea
Stranger: is it sunday where you are
You: Yea sunday
You: mid day
You: Damn you got a lot of juu
You: Do you trap or something
Stranger: trap?
You: Ah nevermind hahahahaha
Stranger: you mean deakl?
Stranger: deal*
You: Yea
Stranger: nopeeeee
Stranger: just a regular purveyor of the finer things in life
You: Hey I fell you girl
You: *feel
Stranger: getting into my stoner habits
You: Man we gotta smoke together I I ever for some reason end up in Mlebourne
Stranger: yes!!!!!
Stranger: cheers
Stranger: to that
You: You're appartment look mad nice too
Stranger: yeah its chill
Stranger: i have a huge kangaroo
Stranger: like
Stranger: a soft toy
You: Oh shit
You: You trluy are Australian
Stranger: no just look at it
Stranger: its super cute
Stranger: im a kid
Stranger: its huge
You: Damn you probably hide your weed in there
Stranger: noi leave it pretty much out in the open
Stranger: hahhahaha
You: You're so fukcing chill
Stranger: the laws here are pretty lax
You: ahahah
You: But it's not legal tho is it?
Stranger: not yet
You: I was in the Netherlands recently
Stranger: what is your opinion on kanye
Stranger: how was holland?
You: Kanye is fucking tight
Stranger: sweet
You: And Holland is sick
You: you now everyhting is fucking legal their
You: Can you rank Kanyes albums from best to worst?
You: That's how I judge a person, on how they rank his albums
Stranger: rly
Stranger: ahahahaha
Stranger: ok
You: Yea it actually says a lto about the person
Stranger: ive heard like one or two songs from 808s & hearbreak
Stranger: niggas in paris is nice
Stranger: chance the rapper
Stranger: i like most of chance's songs
You: Chance is dope
Stranger: pablo
Stranger: so sleepy
You: Yea that wasn't really a ranking, but im gonna give you the benefit of the doubt
You: Becuase your high and cute
Stranger: ok ok what about the kanye songs that i hear the most
You: Yea sure
Stranger: i'm so sleepy tho
You: If you wanna go to bed, go ahead ahaha
You: You need to be ready for school tommorow
You: so it's fine
You: It must be mad late also
Stranger: famous, that part (the one with schoolboy q), who gon stop me, no church in the wild, clique, gold digger, black skinhead, heartless for when i was younger
You: Ayyy they all lit
You: Aight you're good to go
You: Except maybe black skinhead
You: Not really feeling his Yeezus album
You: But it's cool
You: I love your smile damn
You: Man city just scored
You: fuck
Stranger: you against man city?
You: Yea bunch of rentboys all of them
You: Are both your parents from Singapor
You: ?
Stranger: yeah or so at least thats what they tell me
Stranger: i just saw a creepypasta article about the dangers of omegle
Stranger: ahahahahah
You: Oh shit what does it say?
You: Sorry for talking in the phone
You: Hahaha you sleeping?
Stranger: i didnt read it
Stranger: i just saw it across google
You: Yea theres alot of creeps on here for real tho
You: note trynna generalise a lot of those Indians are sketch as fuck
You: ngl
Stranger: weird site
Stranger: weird people
You: Yet I've just spend 3 hours of my wekeend on it
You: ..
Stranger: how was it
You: Yea it was amazing when I saw you
Stranger: psh ok thanks
You: Made it worth it going through all those crusty ass dicks
You: Hey if you wanna go to sleep, Then I don't wanna stop you
You: you look tired as hell
Stranger: thats cause im stoned too
Stranger: i should sleep
You: When do your classes start?
Stranger: 10......
Stranger: 8 hours
Stranger: but i got some grroup assignment due before them
Stranger: then*
Stranger: so
Stranger: i'm gonna power nap
Stranger: and do my shit
You: Hahahaha
Stranger: stoner life in uni
Stranger: this is really bad
You: I feel you
Stranger: i do things at the last minute
You: don't we all hah
Stranger: true
Stranger: ok goodnight
You: Can I just see that pretty smile one last time
You: please :)
You: Thanks sweetie!
You: Sleep tight yea
Stranger: bye stranger!
Stranger: nice meeting you
You: and don't get too high all the time aight
Stranger: yeah i know i shouldnt
You: It's cool tho you bad af
Stranger: tbh you should do it when you're with someone you rly like
Stranger: it gets girls horny
Stranger: this is coming from a girl
You: Ayyy for sure honey
You: Oh well, take care angel
Stranger: ok night
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