#im feeling angsty so like. suffer lol 🥰

[martsonmars]

Hiiii 27, 40 & N please

Thanks for asking and making my indecisive ass suffer <3

27. Favorite quote from one of your fics.

This was too hard to answer, so I decided to randomly generate a number between 1 and 21 (my published works on AO3), and choose a sentence from it. I got 12, and starting from my first fic, 12 is The Dragon, The Sword, And The Knight my beloved!!! The problem is that of course it's one of the few fics I'm really happy about, and I love every line of it.

So I'm going to share a million paragraphs, from the ending. (Which is my favourite part also because of the beautiful song Kati wrote for this fic!)

Usually, my favourite parts in my fics are the ones I share for WIPsdays and SSSs.

40. Favorite story you've written? (in general or for a specific fandom).

Once again limiting this to published works on AO3, and only the complete ones. I like everything I end up publishing, and sometimes I reread my fics after months and find out I like them way more than I remembered, but there's almost always something that bothers me.

Funny that you're asking this question because yesterday I went through my works on AO3 trying to see which ones of my fics really satisfy me... And I got these three:

1. sapore di sale, sapore di mare. My first published fic for this fandom, something I never thought I'd write... And yet I love everything about it. I love Baz's voice, I love the thread of little stories and memories that keeps the story together. I love the perfect blend of thirst and food and light angst and childhood memories and feelings. It's perfect. I'm so proud of it. And it's also the fic that made talk to @sillyunicorn for the first time, so added value <3

2. unfair. Another one I never thought I'd write, something completely different from anything else I've written for this fandom, something that's closer to what I used to write when I was younger. It's my little niche treasure, and probably the only good thing that ever came out of MalMage.

3. The Dragon, The Sword, And The Knight. I've already talked about it here, and above, but I'm in love with this fic. With Miranda, sarcastic little shit that will devastate Baz and is exactly the daughter he deserves 🥰. With the fairytale I wrote for it, which I'd like to turn into a longer original story one day.

N) Best fic you've read this week.

This week I've mainly reread some of my comfort PWP fics (lol) and while this question doesn't say you must have read the fic for the first time, I'm going to name my two favourite fics among the ones I've read this week for the first time:

1. Kiss me hard, touch me soft on the weekend by @johnwgrey. I was absolutely obsessed with the concept from the start, and I loved the execution. Perfect mix of angsty and sexy and soft.

2. No holding back by @captain-aralias. I will need to reread it soon because I read it quickly and missed some paragraphs, but I loved it! Which reminds me there is a lot of your stuff I haven't read yet, and I must fix this.

But about the comfort smut, I was just reading @captain-aralias talking about Baz/Lamb, so I have to mention two of my favourite fics ever, which I've also reread this week, What Happens in Vegas and look (don't touch) by @im-gettingby. I'm absolutely obsessed with them, and I need more of Baz/Lamb/(Simon) handled like this—I don't think I could ever be a fan of Baz/Lamb being romantically involved (though it could still be good if you also give me Snowbaz later), but the smut potential is great... So I'd love to see more Baz/Lamb sex in the way @im-gettingby does it, sexual exploration and friends with benefit and yeah. That. Give me more pre Snowbaz healthy(-ish) Baz/Lamb, or Baz/Lamb/Simon smut...

Yep.

From this list of asks.

[ice-emperor-zane]

Nya’s funeral from Cole’s pov because I’ve only actually seen people talking about Jay and Kai’s, I feel like we forgot how everyone’s been affected, there’s also implied glaciershipping ✨

Cole knew the feelings of grief well, he could tell he was in that strange part at the beginning where it doesn’t feel real, he found familiarity in it, and in watching how everyone else was reacting.

It was Nya’s funeral, a cool summer evening with a light breeze. He and the others had just finished the part of the ceremony where they poured water into the urn, Cole wondered wether Nya had become the whole ocean or just a small part of it, wether the water was actually her or just regular water. He decided it didn’t matter, it didn’t make a difference, he was just thinking about trivial things anyway.

They should all be celebrating their victory over Kalmaar and Wojira right now, Nya and Jay should’ve been able to show them all that new dance move they were so exited about, instead of Jay going on a tangent about it through tears. Nya and Kai should’ve been bickering like usual, instead of Kai sitting alone and silent, he really had been quiet since her death, Cole could tell he wasn’t taking it well.

He wasn’t sure what Zane and Lloyd would be doing if she was still here, maybe they wouldn’t be working themselves so hard. Cole remembered Zane’s death, how Lloyd was the only one who didn’t even take time to process what had happened and just continued being a ninja as though everything was fine. Nya had once told him that Lloyd broke when he and the others disappeared to the first realm. Cole imagined that Lloyd was throwing himself into training like after Zane’s death, and that if he was feeling like how Nya saw him, then he was hiding it, and that he didn’t want the others to see him like that.

As for Zane, he really wasnt sure, he’d never seen Zane grieve before, he was quiet like Kai, but Zane was always quiet, so it was difficult to tell. Maybe Zane was like Cole, they both seemed to watch others rather than themselves, no doubt because of Zane’s ability to change his mood at the literal flick of a switch, and Cole’s uncanny ability to just feel numb to these things. Cole knew Zane would have to let himself feel those emotions eventually, and he hoped Zane would let someone be there for him when he did.

Cole began to think, maybe it was because he never dared become that close to Nya, not after that dreaded time when he and Jay fought over her, he found himself always distancing himself. Sure they were friends, but it was nothing like the friendship he had with the others, it felt superficial. He regretted that.

Master Wu stood up to give a speech, a toast to Nya’s life, Cole wondered how many speeches Wu had given over the years. Being alive for millenia must have drawbacks like that. How many Nyas had there been before her? Cole guessed that there were a lot.

Wu’s words felt distant, unintelligible. Like someone trying to explain something when you’re half awake. He wanted to pay more attention, this was Nya’s funeral after all, but he had a hunch he wouldn’t be ready to hear what Wu had to say.

So he didn’t, he let the words blurr together, sitting there in a bit of a daze of calm disbelief, just watching the others to make sure they were okay, occasionally whispering to Jay that it’d be alright or trying to make eye contact with Kai, Zane and Lloyd, without really thinking about it.

He knew he’d miss Nya, and that this was the calm before the storm. In a couple days he’d wake up and feel the need to cry just as much as Jay seemed to right now, Cole guessed he’d just have to deal with that when it happened. He was notorious for disappearing off up a mountain when he got like that, it was a running joke between him and the others because its so specific. It always seemed to make things better, maybe that’s what he’d do.

“You’re thinking of running away.” Zane’s analytical tone of voice always caught Cole off-guard, it felt like he could see right through into everyone’s head, maybe he could, because he was right. Cole stayed silent.

“Wu once told us how you’d distanced yourself from your remaining family and friends when he found you,” he continued “and the others told me about how you did the same after my own death by the overlord, and then again in the never realm.” Zane said it like a simple observation, but Cole could tell it was something more like a warning.

“And so what if I am?” Cole retorted bitterly, and a little more defensively than he intended.

“You’ll end up hurting for way longer.” Zane said matter-of-factly, like they were discussing the weather.

It was then that Cole looked up at Zane and realised the whole funeral had ended, everybody had left or gone inside, Cole was just sat there, alone and lost in thought.

“I just, I don’t know.” Cole stood up abruptly wrapped his arms around Zane, as though afraid he’d disappear. “I’m meant to be sad, but i just don’t feel anything”, his voice muffled, buried into Zane’s chest, and realising as he said it that the fact that he was even having this conversation showed that what he was saying wasn’t true, he really was sad about it all.

They stayed like that for a little while, with Cole’s arms around Zane in the monastery courtyard, occasionally exchanging words. The sun had mostly set, it was getting dark and a little cold so they went inside.

They came in to find the other 3 sprawled over the couch playing video games, Jay’s face still tear-stained, Lloyd looking tired out of his mind, and Kai just quietly immersed in the game. Cole made a vow to himself then and there that he’d be there for them, they had to be there for eachother, this especially included Zane who he was becoming increasingly worried for.

Cole watched as he nagged at Lloyd to go to bed and told the rest of them that they should probably do the same. Zane really never did stop caring about other people over himself, and Cole knew that was mentally unsustainable. Zane was a ticking time bomb, and he really hoped he would let Cole be there for him when that bomb went off.

#im feeling angsty so like. suffer lol 🥰 #lego #ninjago #lego ninjago #cole brookstone #cole ninjago #zane julien #zane ninjago #nya smith #ns15 #ns15 spoilers #seabound #seabound spoilers #ninjago s15 #ninjago s15 spoilers #angst