#im being extra harsh for the meme but here it is

[tsukkismoonlight]

Im in a mood so to break my haitus (sorta) here's some headcanons for dating/'talking' with some hq boys !!!

Kenma-dating

▪︎Not only does he send you random memes that he does the small nose breathe-laugh thing at, but he also sends you a Lets Play episode of some youtuber for you to watch

▪︎ He brings a blanket everywhere, you cannot convince me otherwise. Kenma is constantly cold, so, when you see him trudge up to you with the blanket, you know exactly what to do

▪︎and that is to take the blanket, wrap it around you and then bring him into your lap and wrap it around himself as well

▪︎Late nights are a thing with you two. But around 3am is when you have to drag him to bed, and promise him that tomorrow you can pick up with whatever game/show/etc y'all stayed up doing

▪︎sleeping in or getting up early, when you wake up, he likes to make coffee, or your favorite drink. Its quiet as neither of you are fully awake, but its always a comfortable silence

Nishinoya-talking

▪︎First of all, he acts tough but boy is he such a sweetheart. He has spent countless nights thinking ahead, planning what to say and do, this talking stage is so much more than talking

▪︎he subtlety compliments you, and tells you that you're working hard and to take it easy. He dotes on you and somehow makes it look easy to keep it on the downlow

▪︎Noya just wants to share everything with you. His favorite sport, his favorite comics and his favorite movies. He wants to bring extra snacks and tends to bring an extra waterbottle incase you need it

▪︎He sends goodnight and goodmorning texts, he will wait so impatiently by his phone for you to respond, and then he just grins happily or snickers at your response

▪︎The minute that anyone throws shade your way, or tries to pull a stunt, he is on it. Short king or not, no one gets past him, and frankly, no one really wants to try (he's got those crazy eyes lets be real)

▪︎you go to his games, you cheer the loudest and his eyes always find you easily. Afterwards, you are the first person he texts, and in the night, he'll call you, loving the way your voice sounds when you're tired

Oikawa-dating

▪︎First of all, he literally cannot get his hands off you. This poor boy just wants you. Your hand, your arm, thigh, to hold your face, everything and anything. He'll hug you, give forehead kisses, ofc only when you want them

▪︎That being said, he only ever sleeps well when you're over for the night. If you're not next to him, Oikawa tosses and turns all night (and then complains about it the next day)

▪︎Also, Oikawa is fairly vain, and so anytime you compliment him, it gets him going. He'll blush and then wave his hand as if to say, 'oh stop' but really he means the opposite

▪︎All he wants is for you to keep going, keep calling him cute, or adorable or handsome. He wants to hear you say his name or nickname, and he wants to know that you are only for him

▪︎Which leads us to the fact that he can get jealous easily. The moment another person looks at you, Oikawa flaunts the fact he's dating you. He'll grab your hand or kiss your cheek, when he wants to be painstakingly obvious about it, he just exclaims loudly that you are a couple

▪︎ And in all fairness, you probably love all of it. The hand holding, the forehead kisses, the pet names and his stares. He's so pretty, and when he's looking at you, it makes you feel the happiest and the luckiest

Asahi-talking

▪︎First off, Asahi has never dated anyone before let alone 'talk' to someone before, that being said, things can be a little unnerving for him. He's never sure what to say or when to say it, and he stumbles over his words when in person and misspells when texting

▪︎Not to mention the team is always giving conflicting advice. Tanaka says to go all out while Nishinoya says to play it cool, Suga says to be sweet and Daichi says to be yourself. But in the end Asahi ended up listening to Kiyoko the most, which was to yes be himself, but also to take his time if he needed

▪︎ Asahi makes sure to text you before school and say hello, and to remind you to bring your lunch and a water bottle. When he sees you there, he'll approach and ask if you slept okay and if he can carry any of your books

▪︎Slowly but surely he seems to get ahold of the talking stage, and even starts to get more confident. Confident enough to smoothly grab your hand and interlock his fingers with yours

▪︎Its the little things about him that you love the most, whether its the way he reacts to things or how he looks when his hair is down and his eyes aren't on you, or how his hand isn't exactly smooth but its not terribly rough or calloused, they're all the little things that make Asahi, Asahi.

Bokuto-dating

▪︎Lets get the record straight, Bokuto is the perfect example of a Golden Retriever Boy. He gets excited or everything and looooves any and all attention. When out on a date, he never lets go of your hand and never stops smiling.

▪︎Every little thing you do makes him giddy. Like playing with his hair, snuggling with him on the couch or even just telling a story to him.

▪︎He just loves you so much. Everytime he looks at you, especially when you aren't looking, he just has those eyes, the ones that are filled with dreams of the future, whatever that may hold for you both

▪︎Your favorite thing to do with him however, is when you're both cooking in the kitchen in your pjs, music playing a little to loud and neither of you can really hear the other, besides the laughter that is

▪︎Oh and dont get me started on his hugs. On your best, or your worst days, Bokuto gives The Best™️ hugs. As much as it seems, he doesnt always gives those bear hugs. Rather his hugs are soft and tender. He'll wrap his arms around you with just enough pressure, and hold you close with your head against his chest so you can hear his heart beat

Kyotani-talking

▪︎Okay so contrary to how he is with any other person in the world, Kentaro is actually a bit of a romantic but he just doesn't quite know how to show it. When he does he's a little aggressive, but not in the mean way

▪︎its a lot of "well maybe I want to hold your hand !" Or "you look amazing, okay?!" And honestly its kind of adorable when he does things like that.

▪︎He has to remind himself that you two aren't quite dating so he shouldn't come off too strong, but when you're together he just gets ahead of himself. Especially when someone else tries to butt in.

▪︎The moment someone says that technically, you're fair game since you two aren't dating, Kyotani gets defensive (and a little possessive) fast. If you're there, he'll grab your hand and pull you away, glaring at the person the whole time. If you're not there he'll just spit some nasty name at them and tell them to back off (and who's gonna tell him no?)

▪︎Another thing about him, is that he overthinks everything. He'll bring small gifts, whether its some snacks, or a stuffed animal, he figures that it'll make up for his brash personality, and that hopefully you'll stick around

▪︎which ofc you do. Not only do you know that he is so much more than his harsh exterior, but you know that you can be yourself around him, he isn't into the materialistic, as long as he knows that you're going to love him for him, thats all that he wants.

#hq #haikyuu!! #haikyuu headcanons #hq hcs #kozume kenma #kenma headcanons #oikawa toru #oikawa headcanons #nishinoya yuu #nishinoya headcanons #Bokuto headcanons #bokuto kotaro #azumane asahi #asahi headcanons #kentaro kyotani #kyotani headcanons #hq headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #x reader

[cherryronpa]

i don’t tend to post stuff like this here - i try to keep my art blog a happy environment. but i do feel like i do need to talk about my burnout somewhere where it’s more difficult to ignore. if you’re just here for the pretty picture, here it is. the talk about my burnout and mental health, however, is under the cut (be warned, there’s talk of burnout, depression, and suicide)

i hold a pretty privileged position not really bestowed upon many danganronpa fans - i have an audience of 22.5k subscribers that grows steadily by dozens every day, near-guaranteed 10k+ views on new videos so long as youtube censorship isn’t throwing one of its characteristic shitfits, and dozens of die-hard fans. i should be at the top of my game.

and yet i feel burned out. 

i feel like i’ve only produced 5 “real” videos over the course of the year. youtube’s algorithm demands constant uploads, however i cannot sustainably upload analysis videos every week; it’s quite literally impossible. scripting takes time, voiceover takes time, editing takes a LOT of time (like, 60-70% of a video’s creation time is the editing). i can’t put out my videos weekly, and the youtube algorithm doesn’t appreciate that and shunts my videos if i disappear for more than a week - so i tend to intercut giant videos with tiny little memes that take maybe an hour to produce. they do cause the main video to take a little longer to produce, but miniscule amounts (like, maybe an extra 3-5 hours per large video). 

however i’m starting to become more known for these little cursed skit videos that i put zero thought and maybe one effort into, rather than the analysis or rewrite videos i pour my heart and soul into for several weeks at a time. every single analysis video i’ve put out has turned up less and less views, even if it’s a video that the algorithm and youtube should be promoting to high hell (eg. i feel like a video where I rank every trial in Danganronpa should be a video Youtube promotes the hell out of to anyone with danganronpa as a recommended topic). it makes me wonder why i even bother at all to analyse this series i love and to share that love with the world, when simply making surface-level tithes that return the same 6 comments over and over again seems to be the appeal. 

even with a description talking about the burnout and my frustration with the situation, most people didn’t even read it. even some of my own friends didn’t until i pointed it out. 224 comments, and maybe 3-4 actually talk about the description and what i described. the rest are the same jokes everyone else already said 30 times, and even i don’t find them funny anymore.

people’s advice doesn’t seem to work either; “i appreciate your analyses!” and “you should focus on what you want to make!” are indeed people trying their best to make me feel better. but the truth is, when i do make what i want, i don’t see the results i want. trying to get an analysis video to break the views in a week that a dumb little meme video gets over two days is consistently heart-wrenching to watch. ‘i appreciate your analyses’ is a very much minority opinion - the majority of people who watch my content do not care about them. and to watch weeks of your work essentially go to waste over and over again, once again, makes me wonder why i’m even bothering. 

it’s very clear i’m at a stage where i can no longer relate to my general audience. the advice provided is rarely from the standpoint of someone who actually goes through what I do. it’s a very much privileged problem to go through, i don’t deny that - but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a problem. no amount of “oh, the youtube algorithm/the fandom is just horrible, you keep being you!” is going to actually FIX the issues. i know the youtube algorithm is horrible, i have to actually deal with it censoring my videos constantly. telling me that youtube or the fandom are screwed up just annoys me now - despite my atrocious memory problems, it’s one of the few things i do actually remember.

i’ve watched my mental health take a nosedive over the course of the year, and i’m sure this would’ve happened even without COVID-19. where i was once almost completely able to cope with my depression and anxiety and it was rarely ever a problem, where i once believed i did in fact have worth, the recent months have caused me to spiral right back into that depression. even though im at the most successful i’ve ever been, i feel completely worthless because that success is built on the literal scraps i throw off the cutting room floor rather than the videos that receive my honest love, my honest thoughts, and the time that i wanted to give them. i wanted the fandom to see just how amazing these things either were or could have been. instead the fandom is more interested in exclusively characters swearing or whatever cursed bullshit my manic-depression-addled brain decides to create when it opens vegas pro and slams its fists against the keyboard.

that mental health slip has not only put me back in severe risks for depression, anxiety, and stress, worse than they’ve ever been, but it’s returned me to suicidal thoughts. the anxiety of the future of my channel, the anxiety of losing interest in danganronpa over this and this entire year having built up to absolutely nothing, have made me seriously question if i might take my own life. i do have something that will likely stop me from doing so, but i’m not comfortable revealing what it is, and i likely never will be.

i apologise if anything harsh or harmful was said - i really am grateful for what i have, and that’s why this all feels so selfish. i’m not grateful enough for what i already have - despite knowing i should be.

#vent art #another one off the tree

[radramblog]

Rating the letters of the alphabet

I feel like part of my style of comedy is just rambling about shit and making loose connections between things as part of an overall bit. I think. I’m no expert on myself, unfortunately.

The inspiration for the following absolute load of shite is trying to search Tiermaker for nothing. Like, no characters in the search bar. Didn’t come up with anything. Did a search for just a space. No dice. What about just a? Surely that’ll bring up everything with an A in the title. But it didn’t, and I was somewhat disappointed.

Then my head started writing bits about letters and that’s how we got here. This is probably really stupid, but maybe it’ll at least be fun. Wordplay is cool, though maybe not my strong suit? Anyway.

A: A is one of the two letters that’s also just a word, as you’ve just seen, giving it a necessary promotion in rank. Not a lot of things get to double up like that, though with the “an” ligature maybe it’s actually a double or nothing. But because of the confusing common connection crossing contexts for the character, it gets somewhat awkward to talk about the letter in conversation. An A, in my opinion, A does not get. 4/5.

B: B is also just a word letter but unlike A when you write it out you have to stick a few extra letters on to make it work, making it not as good. But B’s association with bees isn’t enough, because in the year of our lord, like, 2019 or something, it would become inextrixably linked with shite memes as the B emoji became king. And I just don’t respect that. It’s otherwise a fine letter, dragged down by its company. 2/5.

C: Oh come on now, the word doesn’t even have a C in it anymore! You can sea the see without any of our tertiary letter’s involvement whatsoever. Not to mention how its two main sounds are just copies from other letters wholesale. C must be confusing to non-english speakers, I’d imagine. C as a grade gets what C as a grade typically entails for many a schoolchild. 3/5.

D: It would be remiss of me not to give a sterling grade to the D. Why, none of us would be here without it. While many a youth may find the D to be quite a humourous subject, I assure you I’m taking it with the gravest of sincerity when I say the D has got to be one of the best letters of all.

And by D I mean deity, of course. Wait, what did you think I meant? 5/5.

E: The absolute absurdity that is the E meme elevates E efficiently enough to excel beyond many another vowel. However, it is also the single most common letter in the English language, going so far as to open the damn name. It’s to the point where someone made a point of writing an entire book without using it, and I think Gadsby is cool but mayhaps avoiding fifth uncial was a bit showy. I can’t help but mark it down for the sake of hipster cred. 3/5.

F: F is for Fuck. I like the word Fuck. F is for paying respects. I think the military-industrial complex has poisoned our cultural landscape to the point that a reference to one of its most prized productions’ awkward moments has become one of the most colloquially used meme letters in existence, And That’s Terrible. 3/5, I’m conflicted.

G: Man literally who the fuck cares about G. What is it even good for. Just an absolute waste of a letter, total shithouse. It’s NATO equivalent is Golf, the Worst Sport, too. Who asked for any of this? Just use a J instead, it’s cooler. 1/5.

H: I’ve seen “Hhh” used enough times in written forms of pornography to not consider it a Horny Letter. That and it, being short for Hentai, is often used to denote adult material in Japan. Basically what im saying is, I think this gets worse the less sex-positive you are. 6/9.

I: I think I’ve said enough about letter words already, but I is another high-tier one because like A I is just it’s own thing. It can also, however, be a bit confusing, looking just like an l a lot of the time, and having to constantly capitalise it is a pain in the ass. I also don’t have a particularly high opinion of myself, so a high opinion of I seems disingenuous. 3/5.

J: Clearly the best letter, hands down. I’m definitely not biased. There are so few letters as underappreciated by J- a fact many a person who’s had to do that “assign yourself an alliterative adjective” icebreaker game has had to reckon with. Because it appears to be a lot more popular with names than with words, and that just kind of sucks. 6/5.

K: K has in some circles managed to bump off its partner to become yet another letter word, though in a very informal abbreviated sense. However, when you’re looking into scientific fields, eventually said partner returns, having lost some weight on the trip down to absolute zero. This all makes complete sense in my head, and I’m sure is a lot less funny to anyone who doesn’t live there. 4/5.

L: I’d argue that L doesn’t cop its namesake. It’s a really useful letter, loads of words use it, especially in pairs, and my ADHD-brain thought it was fun to just say LLLLLLLLLLL for a bit while I was thinking about this so I guess that’s staying in now. Put me down as an L Lobbyist. 4/5.

M: Mmmmmm. M&Ms. But also it’s kind of a pain to write. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. 3/5.

N: I’d like to fight whoever decided we should have two letters that sound so similar right bloody next to each other in the alphabet. Actually, who the fuck even decided the alphabet’s order to begin with? Maybe it should go M to N, that’ll bloody show you. 2/5.

O: Our fourth vowel, and perhaps one of the underappreciated ones. O is similarly a letter word, but a much more common one considering its use as an interjection. It’s also one half of a very powerful letter combo, as we’ll see. 4/5.

P: There’s the other half. Many a joke involves OP as a phrase, whether it mean overpowered or original poster, and the letters’ adjacency is a lovely bit of serendipity. Whenever I say P out loud, on its own, I have to resist the urge to do some incredibly shitty beatboxing, which may or may not be a good sign. 4/5.

Q: I was going to write some very harsh words about Q, and its dependency on U, but then I realised that that is probably hate speech against the disabled. It still sucks, though. 0/5.

R: R is the one I am most struggling to think of things to say about. R is another letter that’s just kinda there. I’m sure the Roberts and Rachels of the world would disagree with me, though. It’s also the name of a program that I know has traumatised a lot of young biologist wannabes, slapping us with a whole pile of maths and statistics when we just wanted to look at cool plants and shit. Or in my case, cool cells and shit. 2/5.

S: The most overrated consonant, but also the thing that makes plurals not a pain in the ass. However I’m going to lean towards giving S a positive rating, if only because it’s associated with snakesssss (and serpentine characters who can talk) and I like those. 3/5.

T: I don’t think T gets enough credit as one of the pillars of the English language. A lot of very common words feature it, and yet it feels like it never gets the same level of credit as big shots like S or half of the vowels. T is like the character actor of the alphabet, is basically what I’m saying. 4/5.

U: Ah, the letter Americans hate for some reason. I think this is actually commentary on the history of American politics. Because throughout history, America has been extremely selfish and self-centered, while attempting to present a positive image that people are finally seeing past. They only entered WWI and WWII when it was convenient for them, they started wars and initiated coups in even their allies for petty ideological reasons, and they’ve gone to war with several countries and funded wars with several others seeming just for shits and giggles. Because apparently if you’re not an American, then you’re not one of them, and that means they hate U. 4/5.

V: I actually think V is underrated. It’s a fun sound. That’s it, no joke here. It’s neat, I like it. 4/5.

W: This may come as a shock to you, but double-u over here is actually two Vs! unless you’re writing in cursive, but fuck cursive. The French actually have it right on this one, naming it double-v (pronounced doobleh-vay). Add in the fact that it’s literally just M upside down, and you’ve got a pretty shite letter. 1/5.

X: There’s a reason literally every “A is for Apple” thing you see made for kids uses Xylophone for X, and that’s because there are no commonly used words that start with it. Seriously, it’s all just scientific terms- I’d argue X-Ray is more common than Xylophone in common parlance, but also, who wants to explain imaging to a kid. It doesn’t even get a second page of words on Dictionary.com. X also has implications as a letter word, that I’d rather avoid at the moment. 2/5.

Y: Ah, Ygreck, everyone’s favourite “what the fuck, France?” moment. Between that and being sorta kinda not really a vowel, Y prompts its own question more often than I’d care to admit. 2/5.

Z: As a (technical) member of the generation associated with this letter- on the one hand, I’m sorry, on the other, y’all have it coming. The final letter of the alphabet, one of the other ones worth 10 in scrabble (and yet X isn’t???), and one we probably got pretty sick of in the early 00s when it was everywhere- ironically, when most of the generation was getting born. 2/5.

And that’s the lot of them. I hope this didn’t alienate any non-English speakers too hard. It’s probably fine.

Join me for more bullshit next time I have another stupid idea. I mean, tomorrow.

#ramble #nonce shit tbh #remember when I made good content? yeah me neither

[haematophiliac-a]

Flashback

That meme where you send me Flashback and I write bad shit >>> Not accepting.

TW for all sorts, check the tags.

     One moment he was half conscious upon the couch of the apparent drug den, his ‘friend’s’ house somewhere hidden in the grubby suburbs, then the next he was suddenly waking up on a stone cold floor of... somewhere unfamiliar.

     His whole body ached, his head hurt and when trying to move he found he was bound up seemingly by ropes, hands tight behind his back, ankles wrapped together. With luck they had left his vision in tact and he took a quick glance around.

     A stone floor. Stained walls full of graffiti with high up broken windows that let in far too much of the cold. He shivered then, wondering exactly why he was here. What had he done other than spend an entire week on his friend’s couch getting so wasted he had no real idea it had been so long?

     Footsteps.

     “We left ‘im over ‘ere. Bound as requested. Funny guy had no idea what we were doin’!”

     The words hit him harsh. They had picked on him when he was too high to fight back and know what was going on it seemed, but the only thing he could remember last was watching the TV, a show about Pokemon biology or something. He didn’t really remember. It wasn’t important right now.

     “Think ‘e’s awake, boys.”

     Jax didn’t dare look at who it was just yet but could clearly hear various pairs of footsteps approaching him. How many people were there and what did they want? He could hardly breathe, never mind ask what was happening, a sense of anxiousness taking his body as sickness in his stomach, emotions as absent as always.

     “Yo, Jax you piece of shit. Least look at me.”

     He really should but he couldn’t bring himself to. He was actually worried about the whole situation.

     Well, a kick to his jaw had his head violently snap upwards, catching the glimpse of a woman’s legs who stood near him. She wore shorts apparently and very tatty shoes, probably rough by the looks of her general appearance from the waist down.

     “I said. Look. At me.”

     Should he?

     With a sense of dread and pure agony in his jaw, he finally looked to the man. But why should he have bothered? All... five of them wore masks to conceal their identity so why was he being told to look?

      “Y’know all that bad shit yer done, yea?”

     ... He knew very well.

     “Well, yer gonna have it first ‘and from us. All tha’ pain y’caused people, y’know? T’knives an’ assaults an’ everythin’. Kane hired us t’fuck you up a lil cause you owe him big time. Y’ain’ paid him in a month. Y’owe him so much yer gonna fuckin’ regret ever livin’. An’ yea, he told us ‘bout the people y’used t’lure into ‘is house for fun. Y’make me sick.”

     So it was a drug debt. 

     His blood ran cold.

     “I will pay him.” Jax finally breathed, his words a mere mutter from a damaged jaw that hurt so much his eyes were watering. “I will pay him and extra.”

     “This is t’extra y’scumbag. Y’gonna pay him double and suffer from us, yea?”

     No no no. This wasn’t happening. He had never really... He... 

     “Y’hurt too many people, Jax. Y’gonna get ‘urt yerself.”

     “You do not need to hurt me. I will pay any sum he asks.”

     “Hah. Too fuckin’ late.”

     The apparent ringleader gestured with his right hand and the other four started to approach the fallen form of Jax in a slow, ominous manner. Two held broken pipes, two knives.

     “Hope yer like yer own blood and broken bones ‘cause yer gonna get that an’ more.”

     And so he did.

     Pain enthralled his entire body for hours on end as he suffered the consequences of his drug debt and past actions. Why had he lured people to Kane’s house of all places? He had trusted the guy who seemingly didn’t give a shit either way to what he did to other people in the house. He always cleaned up afterwards and Kane just shrugged it off when he heard yells.

     But after hours of pain, all he could do was lie on the cold floor in a mixture of blood and whatever else, his whole body hurting so much he could feel his consciousness constantly slipping and returning over and over. He still was bound up but now in the nude, couldn’t move at all, and the group had left him to rot and die. 

     He had done so much wrong. He was paying the price. Again. He just hoped he wouldn’t actually die in such a lonely place.

#[Excepts] Story #[OwO wats dis] Meme - Answered #[Content warning] Drug mention #[Content warning] Abuse #dcsidcrium

[yongjoonkyk]

hello everyone ! i’m meg, a twenty year old currently living in est that uses she/her prounouns. i’m super boring and there’s not really much to know about me aside from the fact that i’m absolutely whipped for stray kids and i’m a huge ass nerd ! remember that and you already know me pretty well !!! yongjoon is a bit more complex and a lot less boring than me, so feel free to read more about him under the cut and get to know him too ! this is just a short summary with some bullets on my boy but you can read a full biography on my blog right here, so definitely check that out too ! last but not least, let’s plot ! you can like this and i’ll come to you or just go ahead and hit me up in the ims or on d*sc*rd @  i know you know lee minho#0420 !!! i can’t wait to get some fun connections and start developing yongjoon with all of you !

AHN YONGJOON.

* {   seo changbin + cismale + he/him   } — i see dispatch have found ahn yongjoon’s sns… they’re the twenty year old music producer, apparently, but i don’t know, they seem too fractious and heedless to work well as that. then again, according to their friends they’re also ingenious and tenacious, which could work in their favour. their aesthetic really seems to match song by artist and reminds me of a sleepless night accompanied by the soft glow of the bedside lamp, black ink stained notes scribbled onto tanned skin, headphones at the ready as they dangle around his neck, memories of melodies floating with the train as the sound of dropped coins and bills filled his ears & the feeling of darkness looming through the rips in his black jeans. someone said that the rumour that he secretly creates his own songs in which he sings and raps and releases them on soundcloud is true, but who knows what’s the truth?

MORE INFO.

--- TRIGGER WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, ALCOHOLISM, PARENTAL NEGLECT & DEPRESSION.

born to two loving parents, had a pretty great childhood and was very loved & doted on when he was young.

his life was relatively easy until he was eight years old. on a seemingly dull afternoon, he found his mother dead in his parent’s bedroom, having killed herself.

after the death of yongjoon’s mother, his life changed pretty significantly. his father was uncaring and cold towards his son and yongjoon didn’t have a lot of love or caring in his life anymore.

soon enough his father began drinking, and began taking everything out on his son. yongjoon was reminded on a regular basis that he was useless, worthless, a waste of space --- whatever mean thing his father could think of that day.

yongjoon didn’t have much happiness in his life anymore, and didn’t have much connection to his mother whom had been the light of his life. the one connection he did have, however, was music.

he remembered her singing to him when he was little, remembered the music and the beautiful tones and her voice lulling him to sleep. on the night he couldn’t sleep now, which was most, he spent his time making music of his own. producing, playing instruments, singing... you name it.

through music, yongjoon felt connected his mother and found some form of contentedness. his love for music would bring him a lot of joy in life, but it’d also bring a lot of pain.

in his darkest days, when his father had given up on working, on his son, on generally living, music was there. he busked for money in the subway, at bus stations, outside of coffee shops. it wasn’t much, but enough to put food on the table once and a while. 

through busking, yongjoon’s life began to really look up. he was scouted by kyk outside of a coffee shop, offered his dream of performing music for a living. he trained diligently for two years for his debut with neXtgen --- but his music would soon bring him pain.

weeks before neXtgen’s debut, kyk decided that yongjoon wasn’t QUITE what they had in mind. he didn’t very their image, they’d said, and again yongjoon fell short. again, he failed. he began to believe all the harsh words his father had once said to them, those words that haunted him so tirelessly. 

despite kyk deciding he wasn’t idol material, his talent with music in production and intruments and even lyric writing was undeniable. they offered him a job as a full time music producer, and he was even able to try his hand at writing lyrics on occasion --- and it was much preferred to being homeless so yongjoon took the job.

he now spends his time writing and producing music for people living out his dream, and even though he’s damn good at it, he feels more lost than ever. and he believes now more than ever that his father was right about him all along.

EXTRA TIDBITS.

yongjoon is actually very talented ! he can sing, rap, write, produce and even dance pretty well if he puts his mind to it. despite that, he was unable to make his debut. due to this, he thinks he isn’t very talented.

yongjoon hasn’t totally given up on music --- he has a soundcloud ( i know, he’s a meme ) ! he writes and produces songs that he then sings & raps on, and releases them to the world ! he doesn’t have a huge following, but it’s better than nothing.

yongjoon is probably a bit more vulgar than he should be, but the way he sees it ? he doesn’t have much of an image to uphold anymore anyways. 

yongjoon is, in a word, unhappy. but he’s still trying his best to keep fighting --- maybe eventually he’ll actually win !

that’s all i’ve got for now ! stay tuned for a social media page & a connections page on yongjoon’s blog. for now, i’ve gotta lay down for work tomorrow, but i hope you all love yongjoon as much as i do and i can’t wait to plot with you all !

#* . 𝐚𝐡𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧. → ooc. #kyk:intro

[flower-boy-roxanne]

hey!

im dirk! this is my personal intro post & it includes triggers specific to me, so PLEASE PLEASE tag your own posts with cws for my content triggs if you follow me!!! with that in mind, read the entire thing, please <3

( system dni & info located on our art blog )

about

full name is dirk roxanne strider, as a quick explanation for my url :3

i use she/they pronouns and identify as demimale! my headspace body is intersex

ABSOLUTELY NO REFERRING TO ME BY HE/HIM I WILL SCREAM

i age-slide! about 15-25

i also age-regress, typically as a response to stress and/or trauma but it can also be a result of excess affection, babying/patronizing me (which i actually dont mind much but if you do it just to make me regress we’re gonna have a problem bud), etc.

i go by dirkie when im age-regressed!! if you see me posting during those times please refer to me by that name and try to be extra nice. if i was stress-/trauma-triggered into regression i may be very emotionally sensitive. i prefer to be talked to like a little kid/baby too and i may talk very childishly (unnecessary word pluralizing, wrong verb tenses, w’s in place of l’s and r’s, easily excited, etc.)

i pet-regress into a cat mindset due to a very particular situation in the past. i will absolutely not discuss it here and im not afraid to get an aggressive/violent protector up to roast your ass if you repeatedly pester me about it. like seriously dude you dont actually wanna know anyways

NEITHER OF THESE ARE S-XUAL THINGS FOR THE LOVE OF G O D . we dont support “““s-xual””” agere because that isnt and shouldnt be a thing its fucking disgusting please let me regress without ppl thinking its s-x roleplay in peace—ITS NOT I AM IN THE LITERAL FUCKING MINDSET OF A LITERAL FUCKING CHILD. thank you <3

i have severe exotrauma. all my posts discussing it will be tagged #dirk talks trauma, feel free to block it. i also try to appropriately cw/tw tag them (i use the term tw only but its just because including both drains my spoons)

that said, dont! ask me! about! my trauma! directly! I WILL TALK ABOUT IT WHEN I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!

not only is our body autistic but i was autistic in my canon!! just a fun fact :3

i try to avoid using :) emoticons and prefer :D, :3, and the like. idk ive just had a fair share of experiences where its used in a (jokingly, usually!!) creepy/threatening context so it doesnt read well to me

please dont dm me without asking!!! ive got some of the worst anxiety & paranoia in this system, plus ive got a small bit of trauma relating to unsolicited dms

asks are always okay though :3!! so long as youre not bein a dickhead ya know? anon is off tho for comfort n trauma reasons, sorry about that

(if you want me to answer your ask privately just tell me!! i might accidentally be a fuckin idiot n post it publicly tho, just a fair warning)

i somewhat suspect myself of ocd, but i havent had the spoons to do enough research for confirmation

I AM VERY BAD AT READING TONE. please tag things /j, /lh, /s, etc. so i know you arent genuinely trying to be a dick to me

(may be added to)

my tags

#dirk.txt — regular text post

#dirk.png — art/edit post

#dirk.jpg — shitpost, memes, otherwise non-artistic images

#dirk.mp3 — original song lyrics, voice recordings

#dirk.pdf — creative writing post, infodumps, ideas

#dirk.gif / #dirk.mp4 — gifs, videos

#dirk talks trauma — discussion of my exotrauma, including vents

#dirk updates — quick notices about the blog, my personal life, or anything that may have impact on blog interaction (that of myself or other users)

#little flower — the post was made while i was age-regressed

#catnip flowers — the post was made while i was pet-regressed

(may be added to)

blacklist

(catchall cw tag is #flower boy dont look! i feel like dirk dont look might be an already used tag for some people hgsfcjj :'))

ANYTHING relevant to inc-st, p-dophilia, r-pe, ab-se, or isolation (tags: #incest, #incest mention, #pedophilia, #pedophilia mention, #rape, #rape mention, #abuse, #abuse mention, #isolation, #isolation mention)

the word “selfcest”

using he/him pronouns for me and/or implying that im a fem gender for using she/her

not exactly a trigger but i might act weird or cautious around alpha dave fictives & kins, nothing personal (technically) just trauma

making jokes about abandonment or death without joke tagging (though it still makes me VERY uncomfortable & anxious!!!)

discussion about breakups and/or exes in terms of a romantic/s-xual relationship (tags: #breakup, #breakup mention, #exes, #exes mention)

treating me like an object or subhuman, joking or not. just dont

using particularly harsh insults for me even as a joke—ie dumbfuck, wh-re, shitbag. im ok w being called a dumbass n bitch n stuff but only in a joking context!! if you want to know any other boundaries on that just shoot me an ask my dude. also dont call me slurs :(

the idea that fiction doesnt affect reality (points at myself then at my str-d-rc-st exotrauma. bitch)

i know its legit a part of my url but PLEASE dont call me roxanne unless we’re close!! it makes me uncomfy when strangers/acquaintances use my mid name for me :(

implying or stating that im guilttripping. my spirals, emotional outbursts, etc are almost always trauma responses. saying im guilttripping in itself when im actually in severe emotional distress is a trigger to my trauma with our exes. i have very little power over my spirals and often struggle in dealing with situations that are newer to me, emotionally and otherwise. i am not guilttripping, im acting on a trauma response.

if you put words into my mouth or twist what i say i guarantee you furorem will judoflip you. we have trauma with being lied about and intentionally misinterpreted too, thanks.

(may be added to)

thanks for reading!! have a fuckin fantastic day, yall

#intro post #pinned post #info #blacklist #trigger list #about #important #?? fuckin TAGS my GOD

[talizorahs]

oc ask meme: kwon

thank u so much for sending me an ask bby

kwon shepard!!!

Full Name: kwon “kevin” shepardGender and Sexuality: male and straightPronouns: he/himEthnicity/Species: korean/humanBirthplace and Birthdate: he was born in sejong, south korea on november 23rd, 2159

Guilty Pleasures: dancing. he’s the type to dance around his quarters so nobody knows he’s doing it, notably to dance music. so he gets into it. bless him.

Phobias: loss, mainly of his family or his loved ones. amplified tenfold after tess dies hence he takes the bullet for miranda on the collector base. he would be willing to sacrifice his life over losing a member of his family or friends again.

What They Would Be Famous For: oh boy, his passion, probably. he gets the job done and he gets it done right. this is why he makes such a successful commander after tess’s death even if he was driven by spite and revenge. if not this, his story, because he has quite the story - a shepard, a gang kid, a drop out, then suddenly he’s a decorated corporal. then it all goes to shit again and he’s a cerberus agent, but comes back to the alliance only to be awarded an actual command. he’s like james t kirk. 

What They Would Get Arrested For: the same reason for being (in)famous, probably. the alliance does arrest him at the conclusion of me2 in fact for his actions as a cerberus agent. his passion knows no bonds, notably his need for revenge that drives him to harsh measures. he would kill somebody if it meant getting further towards somebody who has done him or his friends wrong. in this instance, though, i’d call it more drive than passion. all the same. he does what needs to be done.

OC You Ship Them With: omg out of all my mass effect ocs, including the original ones, probably wynonna shepard. they are both overcoming separate trauma and would bond over having ptsd.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: again including originals, people rof. they are way too similar. rof would hate being outshined by a human, let alone one that lied and cheated his way to the top. o dear. FIGHT BOYS.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: he’s a sucker for romance movies or rom-coms though he’d never admit it to anybody ever.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: he hates hero-saves-the-girl tropes because he: a) knows that never happens ever and it’s always on you to save yourself and b) is jealous of every person that gets rescued ever because he’s never been rescued like that. not until he meets miri that is.

Talents and/or Powers: following his induction into cerberus, he develops biotics thanks to genetic engineering. he is not all that good at it, but he is strong, which becomes dangerous at times. miri helps him tame them, until eventually, they sit at the back of his mind unused. he is happier to rely on his guns over his powers. he is a talented marksman in this regard.

Why Someone Might Love Them: the same reason all people like him! his passion. this extends to his family and friends, both of which he is incredibly protective of. he’s already lost his mother to space and his sister in the destruction of the first normandy, damned if he loses anybody else. he is protective, loving, caring. everything. he tends to show it all in a very passionate way is all.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: the same reason again…. im sorry….. sometimes his passion is mistaken for overprotectiveness or madness. he must look mad throwing himself constantly in the line of fire for his friends, or having the breakdown he did after tess’s death. he feels too much and is terrible at communicating it.

How They Change: ANYBODY READY FOR AN ESSAY BECAUSE. OH DEAR.

pre mass effect

his sister and mother leave him, following the separation of his parents. he stays in contact with tess more following the battle of akuze. she convinces him to leave his gang life and enlist in the alliance. she would pull strings to have them posted together.

mass effect 1

he leaves behind the gang life and comes to trust tess again. work through hannah taking her away. they write emails back and forth constantly while he studies at the academy, while tess secures him a corporal position on the normandy. he’s never been more relieved to have his sister in his life and is happy.

mass effect 2

tess dies. that’s the change. it’s a big change - kwon’s underlying ptsd manifests in a very obvious way and he relapses back into drugs and gang life. despite attempts of the sr-1 to curb him, he simply disappears off the grid into his trauma. 

cerberus tracks him down and offers him a chance at revenge, which is what sparks him to act again. get back at the alliance, do something. not leave their soldiers on akuze to die. not leave their soldiers in space to die. the change here is he has a cause, one he is passionate about, but all of his relationships are very tentative. he’s unstable still, but all the illusive man cares about is his position as the tragic younger brother of the late commander shepard.

suddenly, he has a new family. the crew really unite around him as mass effect 2 goes on. they can see kwon’s intentions are good (he will save the people over the mission for example, or he will be compassionate despite his harsh words) and that he is hurting. they all watch out for him.

miranda goes that extra step and actually reveals the illusive man’s plan. the hinge of kwon working for him was that he’d use lazarus to ressurect her, except with kwon, he doesn’t need a second shepard. he is lying about this fact, one miranda divulges to him right before the collector base. betrayal is the change. it shifts his perspective to revenge again, but against cerberus, which leads him to destroying the base and returning to the alliance.

mass effect 3

for some ungodly reason, he is given a command. that is the change. he now, officially, has people who rely on him to save the whole god damn galaxy. he is so preoccupied with this he loses the sight of the fact it’s his family again, still around him, still supporting him. when he does realise, it’s like he’s back on sr-1 again, he’s by his sister’s side doing something that matters.

so he saves the galaxy with his family and friends by his side. there’s his big change. and i love him. i love him so much. he survives mass effect 3 and goes on to retire okay, he’s been through so much and he needs his rest. let him rest.

Why You Love Them: because of all that development above. because he’s still an amazing soldier despite his mental illness. because he’s a good man put in a bad situation. because he’s worthy of love and I WANT TO GIVE HIM ALL OF IT.

AAAAAAAAAAA THANK U FOR ASKING ABOUT MY BOY I LOVE HIM

#THANK U MY LOVE #kwon #ocs #answered #zakuul

[kazualbrekkuparchive]

the super long ship meme for both ships? :)

{ super long ship meme }

here you go

SPENCER & NORA

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultationspencer he does everything without consulation

who’s the first to wake up in the morningnoraa tbh if he can sleep in he WILL

who would suggest a quickie in the morning before workspencer, he got 0 chill

who distracts the other from trying to work at homealso spencer damn, nora’s gonna have a hard time working from home

who stays up until 2 readingmaybeee nora

who stares at their partner while they’re sleepingspencer, the hunt bros are gross when they’re in love!!

who asks to go get ice cream like a five year oldi feel like nora would omg? like he’d get her something Extra and she’s like *long sigh* i just want ice cream spence!

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of themjdhjd she’s a photographer omg she always takes aesthetic pics!

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happyhighkey both of them

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to themok hc that she finds out hes scared of spiders and shows him horror movies to find out what else freaks him out

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract themneither of them are studying but spencer is still distracting her

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separatedspencer maybeee, hes gonna make excuses for them tho cos he’s Terrible even when he just wants to see her :(

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they dospencer is more likely to storm out i think? he’d get real heated

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite showsnoraaa i think??

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling friskywow spencer!

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the carnora wouuulddd

who has more fun decorating the house during holidayshmm i feel like both of them would cause they hadnt really exactly looked forward to the holidays until they were w each other??

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the othernora, spencer cant stay silent

who plays with the others’ hair morespencer rip

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re boredspencer maybe?? but nora too tbh!

who tries to kiss the other as often as they canimma go w both cos spencer isnt good at saying how he feels so he shows it instead and nora just things he needs lotsa kisses :(

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck upwow spencer gonna pout so hard!

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled uplmaooo spencer would like teasing her ksdfhshd but he wouldnt walk away he could NEVER

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have onespencer forgets it but he also hoLDS it! cos hes taller! and teases her! 

who demands showering first in the morningsnora usually showers first cos shes up first

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the morningswow spencer

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the gamesthey’d both like the coasters i think?? 

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respondspencer would like… he wants to be nonchalant but he really isn’t?

who always forgets to charge their phone overnightspencerrr

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pocketsalso spencer i think?

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they cannora?? spencer is so tall he gives the Best hugs!

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quietwowww spencer is so loud damn and nora tells him to be quiet especially when he’s lit going off at everyone

VIANNA & JESSE

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultationI feel like vianna might, jesse comes back from some press tour and she’s like yeah hi babe we have a puppy now!

who’s the first to wake up in the morningjesse if he has a flight or smth but otherwise vianna cause she’d let him sleep in

who would suggest a quickie in the morning before worki feel like both of them would tbh when theyre together theyre all over each other

who distracts the other from trying to work at homei  can def see jesse distracting her!

who stays up until 2 readingviannaaaA

who stares at their partner while they’re sleepingjesse in a ‘can’t believe we’re together again’ way

who asks to go get ice cream like a five year oldwow they cant just go out the paps all over them! vianna tho when shes feeling Brave

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of themhc that jesse posts like one post of her on his instagram/twitter/social media after there being like NOTHING for ages and its one of those super aesthetic pics and everyone goes crazyyyy. ANYWAY, vianna is a slave for aesthetics so her probs

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happyim crying both of them

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to themvianna >:))

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract themnot studyingg but sometimes when hes reading a script or smth, vianna would!

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separatedjesse would try to because he wants to show her how he doesnt forget her and all but hes also super busy so vianna too

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they dovianna loves a dramatic exit tbh

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite showslmaoo when they’re together both of them would like chill and watch shows cos jesse needs to catch up!

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling friskyboth? riP

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the carjesseeee

who has more fun decorating the house during holidaysomg vianna would love doing it! she’d also make sure jesse has fun doiNG it! 

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the othervianna also the queen of silent treatment

who plays with the others’ hair morejessseee

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re boredalso jesse? i mean vianna would too cos Damn ://

who tries to kiss the other as often as they canomg jesse like especially when they get back together

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck upwow i can totally see jesse pouting at that! she wouldn’t be that harsh tho lmao

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled upneither that would require control that they DONT HAVE

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have onevianna would remember it and jesse would hold it cos she cant be bothered

who demands showering first in the morningswhoever wakes up first?

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the morningsjesseeee

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the gameshmm vi might prefer games but i can see jesse convincing her to try the roller coasters?

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond….vianna cos she’s Jealous but trying not to show it ://

who always forgets to charge their phone overnightjesse but vi would plug it in for him cos he needs it charged for his flight or whatever!

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pocketsviannaaa

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they canboth of them! 

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quieti feel like jesse is louder? hmmm im not sure, shes pretty loud when shes mad tho 

#wildhaart #m: spencer hunt #m: vianna asbury #otp: nora x spencer #otp: jesse x vianna #i neeeeed to give them proper ship tags omg #meme: answered

[unproduciblesmackdown]

[jiilys]

a love letter: my goaty turns seventeen

@deadgwen BABE. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. YOU'RE. SEVENTEEN. MY SESTRA MY BEAUTIFUL MY #1 GOAT AND LIFE PARTNER HAS F I N A LL Y CAUGHT UP TO ME AND I JUST !!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIUFUL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY GOAT. SEVENTEEN. AN ALMOST LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DRINK GOAT. AN ALMOST LEGAL GOAT. CAN'T BELIEVE IT. HOW WE WILL BE BADASS GOATS IF WE CAN NO LONGER DRINK UNDERAGE. THE FUCK ARE WE GUNNA DO. WHO WILL WE BE. HOW WILL BE COOL IF WE CAN'T ILLEGALLY DRINK WE’RE GUNNA HAVE TO GO BACK TO BEING N E R DS OH  N      O

 BUT REAL TALK the birthday post u made me was 985324958320958 words and ofc I could never top u (10,000 WORD EMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!! THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! I LITERALLY DON’T BELIEVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO CAN DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UR A LYING GOAT OK ILL HAVE TO SEE TO BELIEVE) and I'm not as good with words as u are even tho I'm meant to be the writer here u have like  GIFT WITH BEIN A DRAMATIC ASSHOLE and I TRY MY BEST but I can't NEVER TOP U and I DON’T EVEN CARE BC I LOVE U SO DAMN MUCH

 DEADASS. U WERE THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2014 BC IT WAS THE WORST ASSS YEAR AND THEN!!!!!!!!! I MET YOU!!!!!!!! AND!!!! THE WORLD WAS SUCH A NICE PLACE WHEN WE TALKED AND PUT U IN MY FOLLOW FOREVER AND U DEAD ASS MESSAGED ME SAYING THANK YOU !!!!!!!!

 (AND I've BEEN THINKING GOATY AND ITS STRAIGT UP AND ACT OF GOD THAT WE’RE FRIENDS LIKE THE UNIVERSE WANTED US TOGETHER BECAUSE THINK. OF. OUR. TRACK. RECORD. OF RESPONDING TO SHIT. I AM FAMOUSLY THE WORST RESPONDER OF ALL TIME LEAST WE FORGET LAST MONTH WHEN I ANSWERED 15/1000 ASKS AND THEN CALLED IT A DAY AND U HAVE 583583 ASKS ASKING U HOW U MAKE UR BOMBASS GRAPHICS AND SHIT AND I JUST!!! U MESSAGED ME!!!! THANK FUCKING GOD!!! AND THEN I RESPONDED !!!!! AND WE WERE IN LOVE!!! RIGHT THEN RIGHT THERE WE FELL IN DEADASS LOVE)

 AND I REMEMBER TO THIS DAY BECAUSE WE WERE TYPING IN ALL CAPS AND I WAS LIKE !!!!!!!!!! THIS GIRL IS SO BADASS I LOVE HER SHE'S FUCKIN HILARIOUS AND WITTY AND THE BEST AND YOU SENT ME THIS MESSAGE LIKE ‘*GAME OF THRONES VOICE* WINTER IS COMING*’ AND I KNEW. I KNEW THAT U WERE MY PERSON. I KNEW. I FELT IT. MY GIRL.  MY PERSON FORVER.

 TO THIS FUCKIN DAY I DISTRUST ANYONE WHO DOESN’T LIKE CAPS. U HAVE ACTUALLY AFFECTED MY LITERAL PERSONALITY I USED TO START TALKING TO PEOPLE IN CAPS AND THEY WOULD RESPOND IN LOWER CASE AND I WOULD ?????????? BE LIKE ????????????? THE FUC ???????? WAT ????????????

 I LOVE TYPING IN CAPS WITH YOU I LOVE HOW YOU HATE LOWER CASE AND WHEN I TURNED 16 YOU MADE ME A POWER POINT FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND IT WAS BEAUTIUFL AND I CRIED AND YOU HAVE ALWAYS JUST BEEN THE BEST GOAT AND SPEAKING OF GOAT

 SHAMEFUL CONFESSION TIME: I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHY WE CALL EACH OTHER GOAT. I HAVE COMPELTLY FORGOTTEN THE ORGIN STORY LIKE. WHY. DO. WE DO THIS. ALL I REMEMBER IS #WRITECLUBBAYBAES AND CALLING EACH OTHER A FAKE HOE CONSTANTLY CAUSE WE HAD THAT FIGHT ABT WHO WAS MORE OF A FAKE HOE (OBVSLY I WON U R THE FAKEST HOE) BUT STILL. NO IDEA WHY WE ARE GOATS. I LOVE IT THOUGH. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. HAVE I SAID THAT YET? I LOVE YOU.

 YOU ARE ALSO THE #1 REASON IM ALWAYS SENDING LIKE A ZILLION MESSAGES AT ONCE IT WAS U U DID THIS TO ME OK EVERYONE ELSE JUST SENDS LIKE TWO OR THREE BUT NOT US WE’RE SENDING 25 MESSAGES ALL IN CAPS WITH 100 EXCLAIMATION POINTS AND UN E S ESARY  SP A CES LIKE HOW EXTRA CAN WE GET WE’RE THE BEST

 AND THEN WE TALK MORE ABT MUSIC AND MY BBY HAS !!!!!!! THE BEST MUSIC TASTE !!!!!!!!! OF ALL TIME !!!!!! ‘ EASE’ CLEARED MY SKIN AND FEED MY CHILDREN AND THE RUN AWAY WITH ME REMIX MADE IT RAIN DURING A DROUGHT AND WINTERBREAK IS STILL THE BEST SHIT OF MY LIFE AND THE FACT THAT WE BOTH HAVE AN OBESSION WITH LOVER WHERE DO YOU LIVE IS THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO ME

 SERIES OF RANDOM FACTS I KNOW ABT ANDY THAT I CAN'T FORGET AND HAVE NO OTHER USE FOR EXCEPT HERE IN LOVE LETTERS LIKE THIS:

-  SHE ONCE HAD A DREAM WHERE SHE KILLED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE IN A WAREHOUSE AND THEN DESCRIBED IT TO ME IN GRAPHIC DETAIL FOR A GOOD 45 MINUTES BC SHE WAS SO HORRIFIED

-  THOUGHT MALCOM TURNBULL WAS HOT AND CALLED HIM DADDY DON’T LIE ANDROMEDA I HAVE THE RECIEPTS

- SHE'S THE BEST DAMN ICE SKATER!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! THE MOST RUSSIAN SPORT OF ALL TIME EVER AND MY BBY GIRL KILLS IT!!!!!!!!!! MY SESTRA!!!!!!!!!!!

-   TAUGHT ME THE WORD SESTRA WHICH IS FITTING BC SHE IS MINE

-  THREATENED TO TAKE MY MOTHER TO COURT BC SHE MADE MY SISTER RETURN A BRACELET SHE STOLE FROM THE DOCTORS WHEN SHE WAS FOUR TALK ABT EXTRA

-   WON'T  LET BLING BLING JIMMY STAY AT HER HOUSE

- HAS A HABIT OF MAKING TYPOS WITH J IN THEM

- SAID ZCRYING ONCE AND LIKE. IT WASN’T EVEN THE WORST TYPO EITHER ONE OF US HAS MADE BUT. STILL. NOW IT’S A MEME. OUR VERY OWN MEME. ALWAYS. I'M ZCRYING ABT IT.

-    THE HEADPHONE BIT IN THE FLOWERS IN JAMES’ RIBS IS ABT HER AND HER BF AND SHE STILL ISNT OVER IT LIKE SHE BRINGS IT UP TO THIS DAY AND I JUST !!!!!!!!!! LOVE HER !!!!!!!!!! SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

-  CAN'T STAND HEARING LYKKE LY WHICH IS A SHAME BECAUSE I’LL I’LL FOLLOW YOU. I’LL FOLLOW YOU D E E P  S E A B A B Y

-  I WOULD FOLLOW HER DEEP SEA BABY

-   I TOLD HER IF SHE WAS A ROOM SHE’D BE A DINGY FLAT BATHROOM BUT I LIED. SHE WOULD BE THE FUCKING CHANDELLER HALLWAY FROM THOSE OLD MOVIES THAT HAVE THE HUGE STAIR CASE LIKE SOME GONE WITH THE WIND SHIT HONESTLY THE MOST DECADENT AND BEAUTIFUL AND BEST ROOM THE ROOM THAT EVERYONE WANTS TO BE IN ALL THEIR LIFE

- WE USED TO SEND FANMAILS ALL THE TIME AND WE WERE BOTH SO SALTY THAT TUMBLR STOPPED FANMAIL AND SHE DOWNLOADED THIS SPEICAIL EXTENTION SO WE COULD FANMAIL IT WAS A MESS CAN U BELIEVE 15 YEAR OLD US

- DIDN’T KNOW WHAT SHOT MEANT UNTIL I TOLD HER

-  IS ALWAYS SAYING SHE'S GOING TO CATCH UP ON TEEN WOLF AND THEN NEVER DOES

-  HATES THE WORD SMOL BECAUSE SHE IS  S M O L

-  WAS FORCED TO DRIVE BACK TO AUCKLAND FOR NEW YEARS IN HER BIKINI BC HER FRIEND GOT THE SQUAD IN THE CAR AND #GAPPED IT AND TO THIS DAY I AM LAUGHING

-  MADE FUN OF MY OBESSESSION WITH FLOWERS BUT I DON’T CARE ILL STILL BUY THEM FOR HER BC THAT’S HOW DEEP MY LOVE IS

-  GOT HER BF A FUCKIN DOG FOR HIS BIRTHDAY LIKE THE FUCK GOATY HE DOESN’T DESERVE U HAZZA ISNT GOOD ENOUGH FOR U YOU ARE ART

-  IS ALWAYS SAYING ‘DO NOT DIE’ LIKE I COULD SAY ‘I'M GETTING FOOD’ AND YOU WOULD SAY ‘OKAY GOAT DO NOT DIE’

- RECOMMENED ME THE BEST SONG OF ALL TIME ANTHEMS FOR A SEVETEEN YEAR OLD BECAUSE

 PARK THAT CAR

 DROP THAT PHONE

 SLEEP ON THE FLOOR

 D R E A M   A B O U T M E

 (I WAS JUST GOING THOUGH OUR OLD FANMAILS AND I JUST FOUND THIS ONE U SENT THAT JUST SAYS ‘*ANGIRLY EATS TRAIN*’ AND LIKE. SAME)

 AND NOW WE EMAIL AND ITS JUST THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I LOVE OUR EMAILS I LOVE HOW THEY'RE  SO EXTRA AND LONG AND HOW WE’RE ALWAYS RECING MUSIC AND SCREAMING ABOUT SHERLOCK OR TEEN WOLF OR SKAM (OUR SKAM CHAT IS THE FUCKIN BEST IN THE WORLD EVER U R SO SMART U ARE THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE WORLD TO THIS DAY I THINK ABT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT WILLIAM AND I DIE. UR SO SMART. THE SMARTEST AND THE BEST) AND I HAVE WAITED 34857239857 YEARS FOR UR MOST RECENT EMAIL BUT I DON’T CARE I WILL WALK THROUGH HELL FOR UR EMAILS AND I HAVE ALL MINE SAVED ON MY COMPUTER IN A FOLDER BC THEY TAKE D A YS TO TYPE AND THEY'RE LIKE DIARY ENTRIES AND I HAVE URS IN MY INBOX ALWAYS BECAUSE WE’RE SUCH ASSHOLES™(COPYRIGHT JONAH FUCKIN GRIGGS) AND I CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH OF US

 THE WORST PART ABT BEIN FRIEND WITH U HANDS DOWN IS THAT U NEVER. SHOW. UR. DAMN FACE LIKE EVER I GET NO SELFIES I GET NO SNAPCHATS THAT DON’T HAVE FILTERS ON THEM AND ITS SO DAMN ANNOYING BECAUSE YOU'RE!!!!!!!! THE MOST BEAUTIUFUL !!!!!!!!!! PERSN !!!!!!!!!!!! I'VE EVER SEEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK HOW BAD MY SPELLING IS AND U KNOW WHY????????? ITS BC I'M THINK ABT UR FACE AND ITS DISTRACTING ME

 HERE IS THE THING: UR HAIR IS A LIKE A DAMN WATERFALL. STRIAIGHT AS A RULER AND JUST LIKE. FLOWING. A GOLDEN/BRUENETTE RIVER. LIKE SPUN GOLD. BEAUTIUFUL. INTOXICATING. THE MOST. SUBLIME THING. IN. THE. WORLD. WHEN I SEE UR HAIR I LITERALLY FALL DOWN STAIRS AND HAVE TO LIE DOWN FOR HOURS AFTER LIKE. DEADASS. EVEN IF THERE ARE NO STAIRS AROUND I FALL INTO THE PIT OF HELL KNOWING THAT UR HAIR WILL CATCH ME. I TRUST UR DAMN HAIR. THAT RIVER OF GOODNESS WOULD NEVER LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO ME.

 UR. FCUKIN. CHEEKBONES. LIKE. HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY FITTIN UNDER UR SKIN HOW IS UR SKIN NOT RIPPED THE FUCK UP FROM KEEPING THOSE BAD BOYS UNDER THERE LIKE !!!!!!! THEY'RE  SO SHARP!!!!!!!!! I LOOK AT THEM AND MY EYEBALLS ARE LIKE ?????????? THE FUC HOW DO THEY WORK HOW ARE THEY LIKE THAT THEY'RE  LIKE KNIVES I FEEL U N S A F E LOOKIN AT UR CHEEKBONES BC THEY COULD DEADASS KILL ME AND THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD PROTECT ME WOULD BE UR BEAUTIFUL HOT AMAZING LIFE SAVING HAIR.

 AND THEN. THE ACCENT CHALLENGE. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN. ALL OF IT WAS ART. UR FEAR OF THE PIPES. RAMBLING ABT THE ORDER OF PHOENIX FOR 8 MINUTES. THE WAY U SAY PHOENIX LITERALLY HAD ME ON MY KNEES PRAYIN TO JESUS FOR STRENGTH. CARAMEL. REMOTE. CAROLIN. IM STRAIGHT UP.

 *ROLLS OFF BED AND ONTO FLOOR*

 *STARTS SCREAMING* *ALL THE WINDOWS SHATTER* *I AM COVERED IN GLASS* *I AM BLASTING DESTINY’S CHILD’S ICONIC CLASSIC ‘SAY MY NAME’ BECAUSE ALL I EVER WANT TO HEAR IS U SAYING MY NAME LIKE I CAN LITERALLY DIE HAPPY IF I CAN HEAR U SAYING MY NAME I WANT IT PLAYED AT MY FUNERAL AND WHEN I SLEEP AND WHEN I'm WALKING TO THE BUS AND WHEN I DO ANYTHING IN THE WORLD EVER I LOVE IT I LOVE CAROLIN IF I DON’T GET AT LEAST 8 SNAPCHAT VIDEOS PER DAY OF U SAYING CAROLIN I WILL STAB MYSELF WITH ONE OF BLING BLING JIMMYS BLINGS*

 I can't express how much I love ur voice like. its so sharp. Like a knife or a broken bone or a needle. Clear. Like glass or a pool of water or the sky with no clouds. A masterpiece. Most of the time when people say someone voice is cutting they mean it in a harsh way but I don’t because. Your voice. I could hear your voice under water it’s that sharp. I could hear your voice through concrete. I could hear your voice if you were at a taylor swift concert and I was in an abandoned supermarket. it can cut through that much space. my andy with the worlds best voice. Of course. Of course.

 For real though: happy fucking birthday my angel. You're one of my favourite people in the world. I can never get sick of you because you always make me laugh. I love you. I love you. I love you. I've said that a million times but I don’t care because I really, really do.

#I SWEAR IM WRITING U A THINK OK ITS HAPPENING GIVE ME A WEEK OR TWO AND U WILL HAVE IT OK TRUST ME #DEADGWEN #I LOVE MY GOATY SO MUCH HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGEL ID DIE FOR U #ANDY #PISS OFF CAROLINE #YES THIS A DAMN LOVE LETTER BECAUSE I L O VE Y O U