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#im about to reach the limbo point of 'oh shit i really have completed all my personal projects now what'
yourlocalartsonist · 1 year
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ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter Three
A/N: HEY IM ALIVE. I am so sorry it’s been two literal weeks I got stuck in a rut and then like couldn’t figure out how to write from there for the life of me 🫠 BUT HEY I figured it out eventually and Ngl I think this chapter turned out pretty fun and cute! It is the first time I wrote Mikey for a long period of time and a little bit of Donnie too so like, apologies for any OOC moments. I’m still learning TvT But yesyes, enjoy the read and thank you for your time <3 Also I’ve decided Mikey and Salena’s duo name is gonna be Pink Tangerine anyway byeeeeeeeee
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Previous Chapter
Chapter One
Disclaimer: Chapter involves light manipulation, light sexual harassment, curse words, and violence. If you’re sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe <3
The mushy brown grub splat down on my tray.
I stuck out my tongue in disgust. School lunch might honestly be the worst thing known to man, the bar is so low the devil plays limbo with it. Yet somehow this school still puts everywhere else to shame.
I overheard from some of the upperclassmen a while back that the food used to be on par with others, apparently it got worse after they hired a new lunch aid. No one ever told him anything, though. We’re all way too scared of him.
We sat down at a table and I began poking the food with my fork, mentally preparing to stomach it down. Jaiden looked at me with similarly dead eyes from our meal.
“God, this is so gross. I get that this lunch is supposed to be healthy and all but sometimes I’d rather just eat burger grease.”
That was the second reason I never said anything to the lunch aid. As much as I shit on the food, it’s actually healthier than the usual microwaved fries and stuff. I’ve noticed the effects too, ever since I joined Roosevelt High last year my body admittedly felt much less sluggish.
“Well, food is food. Let’s just be grateful it’s even human food at this point.”
They giggled and scoffed. “Yeah, barely.”
Trying to distract myself from how squishy my mouth felt at every bite, I focused on Jaiden instead. They don’t really emote often, they’re the type of person to have a resting-bitch-face 24/7. But of course, one of life’s greatest ironies was blessing Jaiden with one of the heartiest smiles I’ve ever seen.
For a moment their lips curve, their forehead wrinkles, and their tooth gap is on full display. Eyes shut, all their thoughts were too focused on whatever brought them so much glee, completely forgetting to worry about how they looked or were being perceived. I wish they could be like that all the time.
“Hello? You’re staring at me like a creep again.”
“I know, I know. I’ll stop.” I rolled my eyes, knowing they didn’t actually mind.
“You really should smile more often, though. You’re gifted with such a pretty smile but you never show it off, Jay.”
It went quiet. Before I could spend too long worrying if I said the wrong thing, they broke the silence.
“Hey, can I talk to you about something?”
“Is that even a question? You know you can tell me anything.”
“Well yeah but…it’s kinda relationship related.”
Oh dear. I straightened up and focused all my attention on them. I may be ass at understanding romance but by god, I still tried my best to help Jaiden with theirs.
“So…Was he distant again?”
“I mean, yeah technically. But it’s not even just him anymore, I haven’t been the best at reaching out either. I don’t want anyone else to know this so you better keep it a secret.”
I nodded and they continued.
“I guess I just can’t find any reason to catch up with him. He barely talks to me, stopped complimenting me, and I just can’t like him like that when it feels like he doesn’t even remember we’re dating. I haven’t felt happy with him or confident or anything cause he doesn’t! Talk! About! Me!”
“Ah y-yeah, that’s…that’s pretty bad.”
“He knows how I feel about this stuff. I’m worried he’s not into me anymore. I haven’t felt beautiful in so long because of him. I feel invisible Salena.”
I thought back to our old school. Jaiden had a huge crush on one of our classmates and miraculously got asked out by him just a year later. It was quite the celebratory moment, we stayed up for hours gushing about it over the phone that night. That memory still makes me feel warm.
“What are you gonna do now?”
“That’s what I don’t know. I’m not sure what to do or how to take all of this. Nothing really feels the same anymore.” Their face fell back to its usual deadpan stare. “Honestly, I’m wondering if it would be better to just break things off.”
“…Well, whatever happens, I’m here for you.”
We sat in awkward silence. I wish I was better at comforting people. Jaiden isn’t a huge hugger either so I can’t even try that.
“By the way I…I think I’m starting to like someone else, actually.”
Their voice was barely above a whisper. Before I could ask who, a tray slammed down between us.
“Hey, guys - Jaiden move over a bit - what’d I miss?”
“Hey Zane!”
“Hiya Zane.” I gave him a small wave and Jaiden and I made room for him between us.
I started zoning out a bit while Jaiden and Zane caught up with each other. My mind wouldn’t stop thinking about what Jaiden said. That they like someone else. I mean, it’s not a wild idea considering how they and their boyfriend barely count as a couple anymore but still. Last I checked, Jaiden pretty much loathed the kids in our grade and neither of us get crushes that easily so I wonder who actually got their heart all soft.
I jumped from a sudden sharp pain in my legs. Jaiden and Zane’s conversation paused as they redirected their attention to me and my agony.
“Hey dude, are you okay?”
“Yep! I’m fine, just been working my legs a bit too much I suppose!”
Damn it Leo and your stupid persuasiveness.
What he promised would only be a “weekend thing” turned into an “almost every night thing”, leading to my legs cursing me out from how much pain consistent parkour brings them. Worst part is I can’t even blame him entirely, I’m a druggie for dopamine and caved in at the first mention of doing it more often.
“Are you sure you’re alright? Your legs keep hurting lately. Do you need painkillers? Or do you wanna go to the nurse? I can take you there!” Zane reached out and grabbed my hand.
I could feel the hair on my arms rising for the wrong reasons. Panicking, I pulled my hand back and rushed to reassure them both I was perfectly okay. Thankfully, we moved on and Zane started to ramble about some guy in his class annoying him today.
Or at least, he moved on. I was still trying to recover from the contact. I mean, this isn’t the first time he’s held my hand, our friendship was always very physically affectionate. But I just haven’t been able to handle any touch from Zane for a while. I hate that everything feels so different now knowing that he likes me. It’s not like he can control it, why do I have to be so weird about it? A little hand-holding shouldn’t get such a repulsed reaction from me.
I decided to stop my brain’s downwards spiral and calm myself down. I took a quiet breath and joined back in the conversation.
I caught Jaiden glancing at his hand. They were quieter than usual after that.
***
I walked out the building as the school day ended, the afternoon sun lit up the schoolyard. The weather was getting pleasantly warmer as spring truly settled in.
Zane walked beside me with a lollipop in his mouth as we both waited for Jaiden. The two of them have an elective today but Jaiden had to run a quick question by the teacher and told me to keep Zane company for the time being. I had my own plans but it’s no biggie, all electives start ten minutes after school ends so we’ve got time. I already let Mikey know I’d be running a little late.
“I know I’m not Mr. Sunshine or anything, but I’d be lying if I said it isn’t gorgeous out today.”
“Hm? Oh, yeah, it really is!”
“...You’re still thinking about Jaiden aren’t you?”
“Y-yeah sorry.”
I could tell Zane was getting a bit irritated. My attention hadn’t really been on him much today, I just couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong with Jaiden. I know they don’t really talk much but they got abnormally quiet after lunch even for them.
“I told you they’re fine Salena. I even checked in twice for your sake.”
“I know it’s just… Nevermind, you know me, I get paranoid easily.” That’s only half true. I’m paranoid but I’m not stupid.
“Hey actually, I was wondering.” He leaned closer and started playing with a loose strand of my hair, prompting me to lean away “Jaiden seemed really tired today so maybe they’d wanna go home early and rest. Do you want to-“
“I’m here.”
They stared at us with a frown on their face. Their voice was monotone. It was always monotone but usually it’d have a bit of charm mixed in with the whole dead-inside vibe. Something wasn’t right.
But no matter! They’re both here now and I should honestly get going. Zane’s here with them so I can worry about Jaiden tomorrow.
“Great! Seeing as you two are ready to go, I shall take my leave as well. Bye guys!”
“But-“
They cut him off. “Bye Salena.”
I don’t know what I did but something definitely happened with Jaiden.
Even though I didn’t manage to fully suppress my thoughts, the walk to the alley where we agreed to meet drifted my attention back towards the beautiful sunny day. The sky was cloudless, a soft spring breeze. For once the air wasn’t clouded with the stinging scent of garbage and car smoke and instead smelled fresh. Woodsy even. Don’t really get a day this perfect often here. It must’ve been fate for today to be the day I’m actually spending time with one of the guys.
Thanks to Leo’s reassurance that night, I gained some confidence and took his advice on talking with them more often. Mikey was definitely the most receptive to that. He and I bonded pretty quickly due to us being the same age and having a similar (and superior) artistic taste so obviously I had to say yes when he asked to hang out, even if it took a while for our schedules to line up.
I did one last scan to make sure no one was around before texting Mikey of my arrival. He popped out from behind a dumpster, eyes matching the bright blue sky.
“Hey hey hey! Ready for the world’s most epic hang out ever?”
“Hell yes I am! I’ve been waiting for this all week! But uh, you’re 100% sure being out in public during the day won’t be a problem considering…this whole situation?”
“We’re fine, chill. No one will recognize me with my super amazing Raph-approved disguise on!”
…His disguise was a hoodie and pants.
I mean, I guess it is New York so no one will probably care enough to notice. Or care even after they do notice. I think I’m just a little nervous since it’s my first time out in public with him.
Besides, his fit was on fire! He wore a cropped orange hoodie with white accents matched with baggy, light cargo pants. He actually looked a little taller from the pairing, maybe I should take fashion tips from him. He did remind me a little of those orange-and-creme popsicle sticks though.
I heard thumping in the distance and cocked my head to hear better.
Clomp, clomp, clomp.
Footsteps? Loud, heavy ones. They remind me of…
“Mikey, you have to hide! S-someone’s coming!”
“But I’m disgui-”
“Trust me just go!”
As he jumped back behind the dumpster, Zane came around the corner and found me leaning against the wall pretending to be on my phone. I mentally high-fived myself for the spot-on guess.
“There you are.”
“Hey! Did you need something?”
“Oh, no. Or well, yeah actually but first, what are you doing next to a garbage bin?”
“I’m waiting for my friend. We have plans today.”
“W-what?” His brows furrowed, pained eyes pierced mine “Plans? With who? Jaiden isn’t even free today.”
“I have other friends too, Zane.”
He scoffed and shoved his hands down his pockets.
“Like, who? Druggies?” …Homie what the hell?
“What kind of people are you friends with that have you meet up with them here?”
“Uh, why are you getting so mad anyway? I’m just meeting up with someone.”
“Well, I don’t want that someone to be dangerous! I’m just looking out for you.” He sighed. “And also because I was gonna ask if you wanted to hang out with me today.”
Confused, I stared back at him. “But you and Jaiden have an elective today? The one I just left you two at?”
“Yeah and I told Jaiden I was gonna skip. It’s a nice day, I wanted to be with you. Looks like I did all that for nothing.” Another sigh.
“Oh. I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know- Wait, hold on, you left Jaiden?” Oh god. I subconsciously started biting my nails. “Zane, they were already visibly upset today! They need someone with them!”
Stomping my feet, I tried searching for a solution. I couldn’t just cancel on Mikey, we’ve had this planned for so long! But I can’t leave Jaiden on their own either. They have certain tendencies and I can’t risk that again. Ugh, everything would’ve been okay if at least Zane was with them!
“Zane, you have to go back. Jaiden needs company and I’m busy today anyway.”
“Don’t panic so much, they said they’d be fine.”
“And you believed that? You know they’ve lied about that before. Several times before! They didn’t seem okay, I need you to be them.”
“But I want to be with you. Not Jaiden, you. You can’t expect me to just control these things, Salena.”
This dude! Why is he being so difficult?
Okay, calm down Salena. Not a time for anger.
“I-I know, but it’s just one day. Jaiden’s your friend, too. And besides, you’ll both have fun this way!”
My attempts to shoo him away changed his angered face. He suddenly looked so disheartened I can’t tell if it was better or worse. I’m a little annoyed he left Jaiden on their own but he must’ve planned this out for a while if he seems this disappointed. I guess I’d be upset too if I was in his shoes. Though I also would’ve asked the other person ahead of time but different people, different mindsets I suppose. I softened my tone.
“Hey, Zane? I promise we’ll hang out tomorrow. I’ll make it up to you. And we can even call when I’m done, okay? But right now Jaiden needs you. And I need this. Just…can I please have a few hours away today?”
He looked at me, conflicting eyes switching between both of mine. Third sigh, more whispery than the others “...Fine, you know I can’t say no to you. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He pat my head, slightly ruffling my hair “Don’t forget to call me when you’re free.”
Hearing the heavy steps fade as he got farther and farther away, I let out the biggest exhale of my life as my body slumped over.
“Ooh mama, that was rough.” Mikey, somehow already next to me, matched my relief. “Does he always act like that?”
“Well, ‘always’ is a strong word…”
“And you’ve never told him how you feel about it? Never, you know, put down boundaries?”
My eyes scampered around to focus on anything but his face while my body shrunk. Guilty as charged.
He sighed and whipped out a pair of round glasses, swinging his arm over my shoulder “So, I know Dr. Feelings is supposed to be on vacation for the day, but since you’re a friend you get special privileges!”
“Um…D-Doctor who?”
“Tell me about this guy, Salena.”
After recovering from the reveal of his secret therapist mode, I told Mikey about Zane and our friendship as we made our way to an ice cream parlor. According to him, talking about your feelings is always better with a sweet treat to distract you from your crushing crippling depression.
“Wait wait, before we start, what flavor?”
“Oh, chocolate obviously.”
His eyes lit up as he happily hummed “A person of culture! Begin~” He handed me a chocolate cone and got the same for himself.
I felt a little guilty for using him on a day we were meant to relax but at the same time, the thought of having someone to talk to about my weird dynamic with Zane made it weirdly hard to resist. Plus, Mikey just has a very calming presence to him, one that makes it so easy to open up and word-vomit your entire life story to.
Still, I tried my best to not overshare and disrespect Zane’s privacy so I kept things brief and broad, only mentioning what I felt was note-worthy. And probably better to keep his crush on me hidden for now, at least.
Instead, I briefed him about Zane’s home life being the classic “rich kid with absent and narcissistic parents” trope and how much his older brother, or better known as the golden child, emotionally abused him growing up. I could sense Mikey softened a bit at that.
I mentioned Zane’s anger issues, habitual bullying, fear of abandonment. His slowly-developed kleptomania. I told him about the people Zane hung out with and of my secret disapproval of them. If Zane seems bad, those guys make him seem heavenly.
And lastly, I talked about our unlikely friendship. How he gradually became nicer to me. How he told me how different I was to him the day I asked why he stopped bullying me. How unexpectedly sweet and protective he can be.
And how scared he’d get sometimes that one day I’d just ditch him like everyone else did.
“That’s awful! It must’ve been hard for him dealing with all of that.”
“It was. That’s why he’s so clingy towards me. He feels like no one understands him the way I do or even wants to try.”
“I’m guessing that’s why you deal with it.”
I quietly nodded. “I know he can be a bit much sometimes. But I don’t ever want to leave him. He’s like family to me, it just wouldn't be right if I abandoned him.”
Mikey smiled at me “Yeah, don’t worry, I get that.”
He took another bite of his cone and stared out the window. He looked strangely timid, I’ve never seen Mikey so mild-mannered before.
“Do you remember when I told you about our dad Draxum?”
“Oh yeah, the sheep guy! You mentioned he had a ‘bad boy’ phase. Heh, ba-a-a-a-a-ad.” I giggled to myself mimicking a sheep as Mikey looked at me with horrific disgust.
“Leo must love you, doesn’t he.”
“Oh hush, it was funny. Anyway, you were saying?~”
“Well during his ‘insert ruined joke here’ phase, Draxum used to try to kill us like at least once a week. He went on and on about wanting to ‘destroy humanity’ and ‘protect Yōkai kind’ and we were made to do that.”
We started walking outside as he continued his story.
“But, my brothers and I could never. We love humans, I mean you guys literally invented art! And even though Draxum made us, he wasn’t attached enough to not brutally murder us for that disagreement. He threw Leo off a roof once, too.”
“Sorry, what now?” It’s making sense now why Leo was so careful about me not falling when we hang out.
“Yeah, I felt so bad! I mean, Raph gets to see something as cool as that happen but I’m stuck being used as a tug-of-war rope for a giant spider lady! The universe can be so unfair…”
“Your priorities are confusing but go on.”
We made our way on to a roof to enjoy the city’s view. Mikey went on a tangent about all their adventures stopping Draxum and the poorly-named Foot Clan from assembling this mythical shredding monster guy. Whoever named these guys needs originality lessons.
“Then after they finished making the Shredder, they betrayed Draxum. They only wanted to use him so the armor thing would work. And I know that we’re supposed to hate him and stuff, but I felt really really bad for him.”
I thought back to how I felt every time someone I thought was a friend ended up stabbing me in the back “Honestly, I would too. Villain or not, betrayal still sucks.”
“Exactly! And to make matters worse, I found him living on the streets later! He’s a wanted criminal in the Hidden City and had nowhere to go in New York. So obviously, I set him up with a nice, top tier home and helped him adjust to humanity. My brothers doubted us a lot but he’s doing great now. He even has his own job as a lunch aid!”
His bubbly smile dropped as he looked off to the distance. Up until now, Mikey’s been pretty animated when he talks, using his hands and sometimes whole body to enhance his speech. Right now though, he was still. Very still.
“But back then, sometimes even I thought I was crazy. I was trying to change a guy who’s fear-response was genocide, that’s not an easy thing to do. So many failed attempts at getting him to like humans, so many failed attempts of him trying to throw kids when they got on his nerves. Don’t get me wrong, it’s more than worth it in the end but when you’re actually doing it? It’s so exhausting.”
Exhausting. I never realized how fitting that word sounded until he said it. Exhausting.
“That sounds like a literal nightmare. Especially without any external support…” Oh god this was hitting too close to home. Abort! Abort!
“Wanna know what kept me going?”
“Yeah?”
He turned towards me. His blue eyes were illuminated by the sun. Actually, there were some new spots on his body that were glowing, too?
“Draxum made us. He was family to me. It wouldn’t be right to just abandon him.”
Oh.
He turned back to look at the sky. “I know you care about Zane and I can empathize with that so I’ll say this as nicely as I can… ZANE IS A WHINY PIECE OF SHIT.”
I forgot how loud Mikey screams oh god.
“He’s clingy, he’s rude, he called me a druggie for choosing to meet up in an alley, I mean what’s wrong with either?!”
“Micheal my ears, please.”
He took a deep breath and by the grace of heaven itself he calmed down.
“Look, I don’t know if you can help Zane the same way I helped Draxum. Some people don’t want to be changed, that was my biggest fear with Drax. But that’s not my point.” He put a soft hand on my shoulder, the tone of his voice sounded different. “What I’m saying is, I get it.”
My throat felt itchy. I hadn’t heard words like that in years. Having someone say they understand me, not being judged or getting weird looks for feeling the way I do. And I can’t even help believing him, after everything he’s told me it sounds like he meant it. I don’t really know how I feel right now. But then again, maybe I don’t have to know.
We stayed in comfortable silence listening to the city below.
There weren’t too many people out right now, everyone who had been outside enjoying the nice weather before were returning home from shopping or leaving cafés. Not many cars on the street, either. All in all, a nice and peaceful day.
Until, of course, it wasn’t.
A giant pink food truck with a weird stake on the top raced by definitively over the speed limit. Another large vehicle following it. It was green with a disk on the back, it kinda looked like a shell? Or maybe I’ve been talking with turtles too often-
“The Turtle Tank?”
“YOU GUYS HAVE A TURTLE TANK?!” Oh my stars! They just keep getting cooler every day I see them!
“And Meatsweat’s truck!”
“Oh, it’s Mr. Oinkerton.”
In the distance we could hear a familiar angry voice screaming vulgar words at the pig mobile through an oversized megaphone. How’d Donnie even get in this situation?
“So like…should we check in on him?”
“Nah, Dee’s probably fine.”
“Okay fair, but he’s partaking in chaotic activities without us.”
“...You know what, I like the way you think! Come on!” He rolled up his sleeve revealing a black band on his wrist and excitedly spoke to it as we both started running to catch up with the trucks.
“Hey Dontron! Why’re you on a chase with Meatsweats?”
“Mikey? You can see me? Are you in proximity?”
“Yeah! We can see you from the rooftops. I’ll wave!”
“Ugh, good I could use the help, Meatsweats upgraded his stupid truck so now it’s too fast to keep up with! Listen, he kidnapped some guy off the street and I don’t know what he’s gonna do so if you could assist-”
“On it, Dee!”
Seeing Mikey speed through the roofs was astounding! He bounced from building to building, doing flips and spins whenever he could. He looked so graceful while doing it, too. Kind of reminds me of ballerinas. Compared to him I was a heaving mess in the back. I’m faster than I was before, that’s for sure, but still had a really hard time keeping up with him. I’m starting to think Leo went easy on me…
But compared to the car chase down below, even Mikey could barely keep up.
“Man, Donnie wasn’t kidding when he said the truck got upgrades. Meatsweats was never this fast before.”
“Mikey, how long are we just gonna tail them? We’re not really getting anywhere like this.”
“Well we can’t run fast enough…” he looked at Meatsweat’s trying to fight Donnie off, leaving the back door to his truck wide open. His eyes lit up “But we can fly fast enough! I’ll swing you!”
Donnie’s voice returned to the comms “Mikey where are you? Could really use that help right now!” Meatsweats was starting to close the door.
Seeing this in my excited adrenalined nature, I rushed to approve the plan. “Okay, let’s do it!”
One of his nunchucks wrapped around me and my legs left the ground. I cut through the air getting flung right into the truck, somehow not breaking any bones after crashing in. Probably should have thought about that before.
I looked out and met Donnie’s panicked glare. “SALENA?!”
“Hi Donnie!” The door shut and my attention turned toward Meatsweats and a terrified boy with a bag covering his head in the corner.
“Who the hell are- oi, you’re the annoying lass from before, aren’t you?” Oh damn, he remembers me. “What’s with you and ruining my dinner plans?”
“Wait, dinner plans? You’re gonna eat him!?”
He looked so unbelievably offended at that, because of course it was such a stretch to come to that conclusion “What are you, stupid? I was a human before getting mutated. I was a world renowned chef, Rupert Swaggart!”
“Your name was Rupert? Ew.”
“SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!” Oh right, this is a hostage situation.
“Sorry, sorry, distractions. So what you’re saying is, you’re not gonna eat him?”
“No, of course not, human meat is an atrocious flavor.” That’s a relief! “However, they make a lovely meal for mutant livestock. And now I can feed twice the amount.” Oh.
He charged at me with his enormous tenderizer and I quickly got up and prepared my body for the attacks.
Go left! Now right! Right again! DUCK! He’s so swift with his strikes it’s almost too much for me to handle. I tried looking for any openings out but it was useless! All the doors are locked and he’s blocking the switch.
“How come he gets tied up but I have to be killed now?”
“Personal grudges.”
I got backed into a corner and narrowly avoided a butcher knife thrown straight at my head. Whatever greater force is keeping me safe, I owe you my life.
Wait! He threw a knife!
Genius struck me as I pulled the blade out from the wall. I charged at him, getting all my energy ready for the blow. Meatsweats chuckled.
“Aww, you really think you can fight back with a tiny cleaver?”
“Not quite.”
Instead of the slice the idiot pig prepared for, I planted my foot firm on the ground and swung the sharp blade to the left, smashing right through the window.
“What the-”
Perfect! Now to take care of the swine.
I darted around the room taunting him, now being the one to control where he’d strike. My heart was beating at the speed of sound, legs quick and light. My reflexes took over completely. It’s crazy to say this but I feel like I’m really in my zone!
Once I annoyed him enough to turn his blows even more aggressive than before, I ran right behind him, clinging on to his back. He took the bait and smashed down. The metal hammer hit him smack dab on the head as I dodged away, knocking him out.
Cutting my celebrations short, I rushed over to the boy and helped him up. He flinched at my touch, the bag still blinding his sight.
“What’s happening?!”
“Your rescue, that’s what. Now, come on!”
I helped him avoid the loose shards on the bottom while getting his body out the window. I stuck my head out and yelled for Donnie, who was still right behind us relieved to see me in one piece.
“Donnie I’m throwing him out the window, tell me when Mikey’s ready!”
“I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE RESCUING ME!”
After getting the thumbs up from Donnie, I pushed the boy out to the streets and sure enough, Mikey’s chains caught him and pulled him up to wherever he was on the roofs.
I heard a grunt behind me. Meatsweats was awake already? God I can’t believe I was scared I actually hurt him.
I scampered up to the roof of the truck. Unfortunately got jumpscared as the vent flung open and Meatsweats tried going through it. My bad for wanting to catch my breath, I guess.
“Salena jump!”
I took his suggestion and ran forward, avoiding the grimy mutant pig, and leaped over to the tank. A hole opened up and allowed me inside with Donnie looking back, setting the tank to autopilot and checking me for any serious injuries.
“So which one of you dum-dums thought it was a brilliant plan to send the untrained non-mutant human into the murderous chef’s vehicle?”
“Oh, was that bad?” Well, at least it’s over now.
Mikey’s voice came through Donnie’s own hand wrap. His were larger than Mikey’s, covering his entire palm compared to Mikey’s wrist bands.
“Donnie! Is Salena okay?”
“Physically or mentally.”
“Yepperoni. I’m right here, Mikey.”
“Phew good! And uh, by any chance, are you guys still following
Meatsweats?”
“Uh, I’m about to stop the tank, why?”
He nervously laughed “So um, you know the person we just saved right? Apparently he had a really important USB with him and he thinks it fell out in the truck…”
“OH COME ON!”
And so the chase continues as we scrambled to find answers.
“Are we really going to keep tracking Meatsweats for a USB drive? Who even uses them anymore!”
“He sounds super panicked so it must be bad, Dee. What if it’s something dangerous?”
“He’s a teenager, Micheal, why would he have dangerous intel?”
“Aren’t you two teenagers?”
“We don’t count!”
“How do we even get it from Meatsweats’ truck?”
Donnie switched over to the control manual and got a bunch of missiles ready “That’s it! I’m going lethal!”
Mikey’s face appeared on the monitor “Donnie don’t! You could destroy the drive thingie.”
“But my moment…”
“Donnie!”
Red lights started blinking, warning about the tank’s declining gas.
“Fine but we’re running out of time, what else can we do?”
“Want me to jump back in?”
“Do you want to die?”
“Sometimes.” They stared at me wide-eyed as I had the dawning realization “Oh wait that was rhetorical, wasn’t it?”
I forced my three brain cells to try and be useful.
C’mon, brain. Think, Salena! Think!
I saw the cleaver I still had in my hands and got an idea.
Bingo!
“Donnie! Drive to his right!”
“What? Um okay. Wait, where are you going!?”
I climbed back out the hole on the top. “When I count to three, stop the Turtle Tank.”
“CAN ANYONE COMMUNICATE THEIR PLANS WITH ME BEFORE IMPULSIVELY JUMPING IN?”
I threw my hair back letting the rushing keep it out of the way.
“Ready Donnie?”
“No.”
I aimed the cleaver for the front right tire and began counting “One…”
Pulled my arm back, getting ready to throw “Two…”
I took a deep breath. Arms don’t fail me now. I swung forward and felt the handle leave my grasp.
“Three!”
The tank jolted to a stop, knocking me forward. Donnie came out and helped me to my feet.
“You good?”
“Well, I’m alive so.”
We looked up and saw the blade successfully puncture the tire, sending the truck skidding to a crash at a light pole.
“Great Galileo, you actually did it. I’ll confess, I’m impressed!” Is this what validation feels like?
The round tangerine joined us not too long after with the boy strapped to his back and came running towards me.
“Salena, you were amazing!” Validation and a hug on the same day? Have I been blessed?
“Hey can someone get this thing off my head now?”
I looked at the boy, then at the horrific scenery behind him. “Uh…maybe we should get to a less chaotic place first.”
Mikey handed me the USB he found in Meatsweats’ truck. ”Sorry our day got interrupted Salena. You can always come back after helping him!”
I was about to agree but felt a buzz on my skirt pocket. I took out my phone and saw a pestering text from my aunt as well as the time being 5:00pm.
“I would but, I should probably get home anyway. You guys okay with um…all that?” I pointed to the passed out pig in his broken down truck.
Donnie pat my head with one of his extra robot arms “No probbles, we’ll take care of it. You’ve helped enough.”
I guess he’s always been nice-ish to me but still didn’t expect affection from him.
I saw him and Mikey chatting while cleaning up the mess, Mikey beaming as Donnie ruffled what would’ve been his hair if he had any. I smiled. Maybe I just never looked close enough at Donnie. Seems like he’s always been this way.
I lead the boy away from the mutant havoc and into a more public area before taking the bag off his head.
“Are you okay?”
He blinked and I studied his features a bit more. Dark eyes, short black hair, and round glasses. “Yeah I-I think. Thanks for saving me.”
I handed him his pen drive and after a few more thank-yous, he left. As promised, gave Zane a call. He didn’t pick up though. I shrugged it off and started walking back home. What a day today has been!
Next Chapter
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lordsardine · 3 years
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dorothyliker420 · 6 years
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huuhhoOh my GOD slrprfrsrfl(more lip licking noises)ooooh my GOd whoaoaohah. *huffing* a completeed chorus 2! HOLY SHIT oh my gohd
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(silky made me this image as per request ily silky)
WELL HERE WE GO!!!!!!! A COMPLETED CHORUS CHAPTER 2!!!!!!!! CLOCKING IN AT 20,588 FUCKING WORDS AND 45 PAGES IN GOOGLE DOCS! lets see how many bs words I can add to that count am I right ladies
because of, I dont know, any italicization or bolding in the text itself was lost when I copy/pasted it to here so I guess the Experience isnt as Deep BUT ITS ALL GOOD ANYWAY because only I get to type in bold. thats how you know its me and not a rabble, but I also italicized lines that I really wanted to talk about
ill put all the Canon Real Text in an indent tho happy reading,
A Long Awaited Duet ---------------------------------***********************---------------------------------
The new canon is that in between those dashes is a really terrible swear word that the author censored with asterisks. only he knows it and he’ll unleash it when you criticize his fic
Pacing quickly around her room in a long, frustrated circle, Lisette’s worries were quickly drawing to a boiling point.
lisette’s circles make me long and frustrated am I right fellow dudes
Typically, she was a very easy-going person, the kind of girl who’d shrug off most concerns and instead focus on keeping a positive outlook. However, after spending her entire morning going through the motions, feeling trapped in a listless, uneasy funk, even she couldn’t help but be affected. It was almost noon already and still she couldn’t move her thoughts past yesterday’s tea party, to the look she’d seen weathered across Alto’s face.
Lisette is right to be threatened and uneasy. this is like the scene in the opening where the village is getting crystallized and its too late for rosa and shes like SAVE YOURSELF except instead its sexification
She hadn’t had the courage to say anything at the time, but it had haunted her thoughts ever since. Making it worse, when she’d attempted to find her mother to ask her for her advice, she hadn’t been able to find her anywhere, so she’d wound up simply spending the previous night with Marie.
the ghosts of the last chapter vaguely implying alto is too horney to sleep in the same bed as marie have returned and im frightened
“He’s… he’s still on edge, isn’t he?”
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It wasn’t right. The fighting was over and peace had been won, but even when he should have been relaxing with his friends, Alto was still wearing the same guarded, strained expression. It was the same heart-breaking look she’d seen from her friend all throughout their battles, at all the times she’d stood at his die, watching him make the most difficult decisions of his life.
STOOD AT HIS DIE
She didn’t think any of the others had noticed. Perhaps she was the only one that would even be able to recognise the difference, after all, she was the only one who’d known him before all this. Back in Mithra he hadn’t been anything like that, he’d smiled freely and his gaze had was always carefree, to the point of being cheeky. Their entire lives had changed ever since she became a Witch and he followed to become her Knight… but she’d always hoped all this time that it could still return to how it was when everything was finally over.
“No,” she corrected herself, her body sagging with a deep sigh. There wasn’t any point lying to herself about this, “I’m not that naïve, I always knew it wouldn’t be that easy…”
“gee” said lisette out loud to herself with no one else around, “I am lisette from the video game stella glow. I am five foot four and my blood type is
Because, she knew Alto. And she knew, for him, that it had never been about the battles. He didn’t fear fighting, he would recklessly throw himself into danger without even a second’s thought if it meant he could help someone. As she’d told him so many times, his overwhelming compassion was both his best and worst trait. He was courageous to the point of stupidity, all he cared about was protecting the people important to him, keeping the people he loved safe and happy, as best he could. That was all the fighting had ever meant to him. And that was why she’d always known it couldn’t possibly be that easy for him.
im giving this alto analysis a 2 alto is a liberal degenerate who really loves hunting and also u dont know anything about him jl “AWOOOGAA” davenport if u tell me about him again ill kill you
Crying out in annoyance, Lisette slumped across the room and threw herself onto her bed, sinking deep into the large, soft mattress as if to try let it absorb a fraction of her worries.
I cannot shake the feeling he was thinkin bout her tiddies when he wrote this
‘Alto’s still fighting, even now,’ she knew that. It was a truth she’d struggled to deal with for days now, ‘The war isn’t over for him yet, because he’s still pushing himself to try find a way to keep every one of us happy.’
fuckin dumb ass horny ass bitch. mediocre ass, pathetic ass, money grubbing, fucking stupid bitch ass you dont put apostrophes around thoughts its ugly as shit
It was a painful thought, the elephant in the room and something she hated thinking about. But somehow, not thinking about it, pretending to simply ignore had become even worse.
does lisette know what an elephant is. does that expression exist. this is third person limited so its kind of weird to use that kind of anachronism
After all, if Alto was still fighting, then she wanted to fight alongside him! She was his family, his comrade, his first Witch and even his (prospective) girlfriend,
I had to cut this off because it was next level dumbshit literally anyone is his prospective girlfriend with that state of their relationship. im his prospective girlfriend 
there wasn’t a single part of her that wanted to do anything less than to support him with all her might. He was a part of her soul. He was the man she loved and someone who she would never allow herself to be separated from, she’d known those feelings for absolute certainty ever since the moment she’d woken up from death’s door and travelled around the world to stand at his side. Just thinking about him wracking himself with worries and her not helping him was terrifying!
1. 
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2. that last sentence is the worst written thing in, if not human existence, then the century
And, she spared a glance over at the mirror she’d been avoiding looking at all day, even aside from that, could she really say she was any different? Was she truly able to smile like before, only because their fighting was over?
hackles raised at the prospect of mirror kink
Lisette gave a dry laugh, reaching out and squeezing the small stuffed pig Popo had given her, pressing it against her considerable chest. 
1. the pig is kinda cute like maybe but who tf is vending these smutfic items. who is crawling around in the back alleys selling cursed objects that make people horny as fuck. did ewan make a deal with the devil to sell all his twilight-zone-monkey-paw shit from his brief sponsorship with baddragon
2. die
3. lisette’s chest is CONSIDERABLE all right. it makes me CONSIDER ending it all
For all their outward appearances, in this, at least, she doubted it was any different from any of the others, no doubt that was why everything had seemed so off lately, “We’re all just stuck in limbo, aren’t we?”
this is the longest string of indirect pronouns ever like whomst??? and what an eerie sentence to end a section on. though u kno what stay in limbo
---------------------------------***********************---------------------------------
those dashes are containing the massive power of the cuss word. if even one of them falters or breaks formation the sheer obscenity would vaporize us all
Unfortunately for Lisette, her self-examination came with no easy answers or steps forward. Even though she’d accepted that being stuck in place as they were was only making things worse for all of them and particularly for Alto, there was no obvious solution she could latch onto, to change things.
this literally picks up? exactly where the previous section ended? like. with information that flows from the previous paragraph. if youre going to make that fucking big then why is it functionally useless
However, now more than ever, she was a determined woman and slowly -as the time passed and the morning faded away into early afternoon- slowly, her resolve held out and she was able to fearlessly consider even the truths she’d previously tried so hard to avoid.
why is this the ugliest formatting ive ever seen have you ever heard of an em dash or, a comma. also im losing shit at Determination Resolve Holding Out Shes Never Done This wasnt this like the sole bad point of her tunings
She knew she loved Alto, that he was the only man who’d ever made her feel complete 
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But, she also knew that the other Witches felt just the same, she forced herself to accept the fact that he was just as important to them as he was to her.
ok nvm im not done being pissed at The Only Man like yeah lisette its called comphet im rewriting this so that lisette realizes shes a lesbian and also that whole Complete Her thing is all of whats wrong with lisettes arc like all of it this is what men do
It was something they’d all consciously avoided discussing, something that none of them seemed to know how to deal with. Her companions, the other Witches, were all as close as family to her, she loved them all dearly… And yet, they were all competing, in their own way, for the same man.
alto is three years old
She was sure they must feel just as awkward about that as her, there was a reason why even the ever impulsive Popo or the harsh-blunt Sakuya 
tell u whats harshing my blunt........this fic ((takes a weed puff
had never said anything and why, no matter how much they talked and how much they shared, this single topic was never once addressed directly, they’d all been working on the same process as her- that it was too strange a situation and too difficult a conversation to deal with, that the best thing to do was simply wait till after the war when Alto would be able to reciprocate their feelings, and then there the problem would solve itself. Well… The war was over. And they were all still tiptoeing around each other’s hearts, all waiting for the same response from the same man. “We must all seem so silly.”
tf were they supposed to do to address it? like lets just accept the gross situation but was they supposed to so call everyone to a room lisette spins around in a big chair and says We’re Here To Discuss The Het or maybe this happens
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She could just imagine how ridiculous this situation must appear from the outside; five best friends all in love with the same man, all waiting for him to respond to their feelings and all marooned in the same silent stand-off, walking on eggshells while pretending everything was fine. No doubt her mother found it hilarious.
thats the worst line ive ever seen in my life. oedipus rex has nothing on this bitch
that aside like accepting them all as comphets for the moment. literally never interacted on a regular basis with another boy their age. except hilda I guess but it doesnt matter this is so dumb! yall is a bunch of trauma victims you cant just jump directly into the boinking
“Grrr! This is all your fault Alto! Stupid! Since when did you get so popular anyway!? You weren’t like that in Mithra! You’re just… you’re just too dependable… You mean so much to all of us, we can’t help but love you…”
deadass u told me this was dialogue from the anime where the tiddies bounced when the girl blinked? id believe it
He was their conductor. They all loved him. They all wanted to be with him. They were all waiting for him to favour only them…
dont like how its treated that its an absolute that witches will just fall for their conductor thats like sayin no one is safe around bi ppl. reach perhaps but its the same dumbass ideas
Perhaps that was the worst part of all. The more she thought about it, the more she was starting to realise just what an impossible situation their feelings and expectations had put Alto into. She knew better than anyone just how much he cared for each of them, she’d healed the scars on his body time and again that showed just how far he’d go to protect any of them… And yet, without ever really thinking how, they were all still asking him to then choose between them, to decide which of his Witches he loved the most.
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but also I just had the revelation that author does not know what romantic love is like, at all, and the smoke cleared I am enlightened and theres nothing I dont understand
And, she couldn’t help him at all, could barely even support him in what must be an incredibly painful choice for him. All she could do was leave it to him, and trust that when he did choose, that he felt the same way about her as she did about him and they would finally be together. As for the rest… She didn’t know… The thought of him choosing one of the others over her was almost too painful, to terrifying to consider, but the knowledge that her friends would have to go through that was no less terrible…
tired of u demonizing r*mantic love. fuck its th most exhilarating experience of my life. that and having a baby shark sit in my hands. dont give all these Oh No People Get Hurt to justify just fuckin whoever u want
That was the mire they were all stuck in. That was why Alto was still looking so stressed and why none of them had been able to move forwards. There wasn’t anything any of them could do and there was no way to make everyone happy. She frowned bitterly. ‘…Would… Would it even make us happy?’
me, who had never been as happy as I am prior to being in love: hell yeah bitch dis go hard as hell flocka
It was a strange thing to consider, something she’d never once thought before this very moment- she’d thought for so long she was waiting for Alto to return her feelings, she’d wanted so long to be with him and to be together forever. But, would she really be happy like that? Could she truly be happy being with the man she loved at the expense of watching the companions she held dear, the friends she’d bled and cried together with, becoming heartbroken? Mordi, Popo, Sakuya, and especially Hilda, after all they’d been through, after how important she knew Alto was to each of them… Her heart clenched in her chest just imagining it!
if this is a question then ur not in romantic love idiot! shut up
But… That was how it had to be, wasn’t it? They’d all been foolish enough to fall for the same man, there was only one Alto. No.
dumps the big ass mess of gl***ng pr**e poly edits here but im not saving it to my computer so u gotta imagine it
Lisette propped herself up on the bed, a previously unfathomable conclusion quickly becoming clear to her. No. She couldn’t accept that. And Alto surely wouldn’t accept that. He’d never accepted that they couldn’t stop the Eclipse. He hadn’t accepted that they couldn’t fight against God. And, at the end of everything, he’d refused to accept that Mother Qualia had to be their enemy. A solution that put the entire burden on Alto and led to all her friends being heartbroken? How could she ever accept that!? How could she ever have thought something like that would make her happy!? That wasn’t how they worked! They were the Tuning Knights, humans that had defeated God and saved Marie! They would never accept such a lukewarm compromise.
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fucking................mormons..................................
‘Well now,’ she laughed, ‘If I really think about it, the solution is pretty obvious, isn’t it?’ It was reckless and crazy, nothing at all like anything she’d ever imagined herself doing… But then, didn’t that just make it the same as everything else they’d done?
this isnt even how polyamory works!!!!!!!! sorry im not being funny I just really value r*mant*c love and listen NO ONE would just sit down and think “yes clearly the healthiest thing for the person my heart is devoted to is to juggle 6 relationships”
“Yup! I’m not gonna accept anything like that!” ultimately, all that mattered was the same conclusion she’d come to, ever since she’d returned to life. She already knew what she wanted, she just had to make it happen, “Alto, I’m by your side. Always. I’ll support you!”
hi im lisette and this is my boyfriend alto! we’re queering heterosexuality by having him fuck a ton of girls at once! swipe right if you want to hop on that dick. no gays allowed
---------------------------------***********************---------------------------------
me: this is bad content
jldavenport: h*mg*n*n*l*b*ng*s*gl*m
me: vaporized in silhouette against the wall from the sheer power
Finishing off a long day of meetings, reports and training, clad in his usual attire (sans the armour,
oh shit its sans thearmour!!!! gonna have a bad time that being said makes sense that hes european the gross fuck
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thankfully for him) and returning from the dormitory baths with a relieved sigh, Alto scarcely had time to close the door to his room behind him before he was suddenly jolted from his thoughts by an excited knocking. “Eh? Lisette?”
the phrase “dormitory baths” pisses me the fuck off where do you get off jldavenport. probably all over your keyboard but stop saying shit like that this isnt your canon bitch
A late-night visit from his orange haired friend wasn’t especially unusual, but to see her standing around in her Witches outfit 
epithets, especially those that refer to hair color, are awful and amateurish but because he still doesnt know this apparently: Redhead. Is. A. Fucking. Word. 
in her Witches outfit
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that wasnt good enough to warrant that large of an image but like that movie fucked me up so bad lets see what scars me worse the mouse scene or this fic
at this time of night certainly was. And even stranger than that, she was wearing the original outfit, the one she’d worn since the first time she’d awakened to her powers in Mithra, rather than the more dazzling Goddess robes she’d gained after he’d finally tuned her heart, ‘I suppose it’s probably easier to sit around in this one?’ If he had to wear something as flashy as any of the dresses the girls wore, he was sure he’d spent half his time worrying about ripping it.
honestly content notwithstanding this reads like an instructional on what NOT to do when writing. you write like this? dont. its very entry level like I cant say that I necessarily write better but do what I say not what I do
throwing the goddess thing out there is like him saying LOOK!!!! A FACT i KNOW ABOUT THE ACTUAL CANON!!!!!! HAHA
Despite standing staring at him from the hallway, with her face flushed and eyes not quite meeting his, she still hadn’t said anything, “Er, Lisette? Is something wrong?”
knocking on someones door and forgetting why ur there is a neurodivergent feel lisette has adhd now and theres nothing you can do about it
“Ah!” she jumped before finally shaking herself off and responding with a slight anxiousness, anxiety. see me after class “No, no not really. I just… I’ve had a lot of mind and I thought it’d be better if we could talk a bit? Do… Do you mind if we spend the night together, again?”
lisette u were literally talking to urself five minutes ago abt havin him fuck everyone and now ur all anime blushus. bitch
He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. She wanted to share his bed again? Spend the night holding hands like back then? Stopping himself short of giving her an answer, Alto suddenly realised just how imploringly she was looking up at him.
they literally used this exact Mouth Suddenly Dry thing last chapter do ppl who enjoy this fic actually like that r smthn. they get wet 4 the dry
“Huh, it’s not like you to actually ask…” He teased softly. Usually Lisette was far more insistent about this sort of thing, he’d normally expect her to simply march into his room and seat herself on his bed. He only realised as she spoke that for her to act like this, for whatever reason she was acting like this, it must be important to her that he did accept her request 
ugly sentence. ugly, ugly sentence. ew. im actually so bored by this sentence im ceasing work on this for the night good bye
She didn’t want to force it on him. Still… He couldn’t help but hesitate. It was stupid, he knew, but he’d felt awkward spending time alone with any of the girls since after the war, lest any of them get the wrong idea.
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“get the wrong idea” DONT FUCKING WRITE ALTO LIKE THIS I AM IMMORTAL MY SKIN IS ADAMANTINE YOU SHALL FALL BEFORE ME
A moment passed and still Lisette didn’t say anything; clenching her hands nervously below her wait -and unintentionally pushing her impressive bust out even further towards him- 
the commissioner, apparently upon seeing stella glow:
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she silently awaited his response. Blushing a little under her low gaze, Alto realised it was getting harder and harder to remember the days when he’d seen her just like a sister.
this proves its inhuman and disgusting because it gave me visceral flashbacks to fire emblem fates so lemme post some of my fave incest quotes from that, starting with the ones it made me astral project into
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2.
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did that last one haunt u because for a split second you imagined a world where lisette said them? good bc that shit keeps me up at night. im tired of cropping these quotes out so like we’re done my point has been made
In the end though, he couldn’t possibly deny her. Not for no reason, and not when she looked at him like that, “Yeah, of course Lisette. That sounds fun.”
the begging thing from the last chapter hit me full force in memory and I honestly hope it comes back bc ive got a dynamite joke locked and loaded
Breaking out into a bright smile, the Water Witch sagged in relief, taking him by surprise as she reached out to take his hand in hers, letting her body fall soft and warm against him as she did so. Her breath tickled hot across his collar and Alto’s heart jumped in shock!
DONT EVER USE EXCLAMATION POINTS LIKE THIS im serious. it is about as ugly, 2007-fanfic-net-core you can get. 
Her hands felt smooth and gentle, wrapped warm around his… 
HIS WHAT
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he’d felt that before, it was pleasant, although not anything new. But feeling her head falling lovingly to his shoulder like this and having her entire body now laying against his… His mouth went dry, 
Wet 4 The Dry Confirmed
he could even feel her breasts pushing large and heavy against his own chest! ‘Woah… S-So soft… They’re even bigger than Rosa’s, aren’t they?’
can you believe this was written completely unironically? like, people find this hot? if it didnt deplete the experience of reading this fic id replace every line referencing boobs with a comment from nicki minaj’s instagram
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For just a split second, no matter how much of a gentleman he was, standing there like that, it was impossible for him not to compare the mother and daughter.
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WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SON
“Li-Lisette?” he choked out, desperately reigning in his thoughts before they rampaged down a dangerous direction. “Mmm, Alto, hehe, I’m glad,” she giggled happily, skipping back and beaming up at him as she tugged on his hands, leading him off, “Even just being like this with you, I feel better already!”
ok I have NO idea what movement theyre doing. shes like, skipping and then she comes back and takes his hands and idk probably his dick or something
Absolutely caught up in her rhythm, they were halfway down the hall before Alto finally realised she’d pulled him completely out of his room!
heres a coded message just for katt: e*****t w** d****** **m!the narration means he was aware she was pulling him so like where the fuck did he think he was going if not outside his room
“Uh, h-hey, Lisette? We’re going somewhere? I thought you wanted to go to sleep?” “That’s right,” she nodded simply, giving up and tugging him and instead falling into step beside him, “But your bed’s too small for it to be comfortable, so we’re gonna use my room instead!” Alto almost dug his heels in from sheer indignation! 
im sorry. im sorry I had to cut this up but come on. come the fuck on. indignation. like she made a point and alto is all “insolent female requesting things of me” have you not met alto. authot is from r/incels
She’d come all this way to see him, just to drag him back to her room!? How self-indulgent could she be!? And, it wasn’t as if his bed back in Mithra had been any larger and she’d never complained before. Eventually, he just sighed and followed her lead, it wasn’t worth getting worked up over. If it would make her happier, then that was fine. It might be nice to spend a night in someone else’s room for a change too.
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Walking hand in hand through the halls like this was fairly embarrassing, thankfully it seemed that it was late enough that no-one else was around. He really, really didn’t want to suddenly run into Rusty like this, let alone Giselle, or Sakuya… Supressing a shudder, Alto hurried on.
“let alone giselle” wh???? I am so baffled by this. obviously rusty or sakuya would give him shit but whats giselle gonna do??? is alto being bullied by a robot?????? I want giselle to appear and smash alto’s frosting into the ground
“I won’t hesitate, bitch,” said Giselle, pointing her laser at altos dick and shattering it into one million individual pieces
Unlike the tiny spare room he’d been assigned so long ago now, Lisette, as a Witch, had been housed in the premium quarters on the other side of their dormitory. 
stop. stop saying dormitory. this is not a college
Luckily in this case, unlike the Palace, the building wasn’t overly large so it was only a short trip to her room. They arrived a few minutes later, just as his heart was beginning to settle down.
what happened to the long ass aterisks break. oh god the swear word is coming isnt it
Unfortunately, the moment Lisette opened the door and they stepped inside, Alto’s breath was one again caught violently in his throat, “H-Hilda!?” And indeed, kneeling serenely atop a small cushion in the middle of the large room, the Time Witch was sipping calmly from her usual green ceramic tea-cup, as if there was nothing strange about her presence here at all.
I dont like how shes sitting on a pillow in the center of the room that sounds ritualisitic
(bangs pink cup on the ground) She Sits On The Sacrificial Fuck Pillow ((group of hooded figures behind me start chanting “Fuck Pillow! Fuck Pillow!”
Watching as she settled the drink aside, perfectly in synch with the sound of Lisette locking the door behind her, Alto’s mouth went dry.
theres so much wrong with the syntax and shit but im pushing that all aside to say how fucking difficult it is to sync sound like that even on purpose so yeah theyre def doing a cult sacrifice to the original sex god, elcrest
A moment of silence reigned and somewhere in the back of his currently panicking mind, the bewildered Conductor couldn’t help but notice that Hilda too was wearing her standard Witches’ outfit, the same form fitting black dress 
“dress” very generous for mr boob grower
and wide sweeping hat she’d become associated with for so many years. However, in her case, this wasn’t much of a surprise. As far as he’d seen from the White-Haired woman, she didn’t seem to actually own any normal, casual attire and, while he knew she deeply adored he beautiful white dress she’d unlocked when he’d purified her lonely heart, he also knew that even she couldn’t help but feel rather self-conscious, wearing something that was practically a wedding dress as an everyday outfit, he hadn’t seen Hilda’s Goddess Robes since the end of the final battle.
I literally cannot read any part of this paragraph except the capitalization of White-Haired and Goddess Robes this was either written in the 1700s or modern day by me dissociating in a target bathroom this is so funny if the fic gets any funnier ill die
“Alto? I’m surprised. Isn’t it a bit late for you to be visiting a woman’s bedroom?”
horny dont got business hours babe
“Ah, H-Hilda! It’s, it’s not what you’re thinking, I, Lisette!? Wha-” “Relax Alto,” the Water Witch giggled softly as she stepped forward, taking his hand again, but this time wrapping herself around his arm, “She’s just teasing you.” “Wha… Abuh?”
this is harem anime/fire emblem dialogue right down to the “Abuh?” actually thats the defining thing you hear someone say that youre in a straight anime and you need to run for your fucking life
“My apologies,” Hilda nodded, offering him a small smile in recompense as she matched Lisette’s movements, taking hold of his other hand, her pale face burning bright red as her soft fingers entwined with his, “I just, got a little flustered seeing you so suddenly… I… I wasn’t sure what to say.”
ok first of all you cannot write hilda in any realm of possibility but also like this is yet another thing to not trust men for: emphasizing the whiteness of a womans skin. he is a racist, plain and simple
Her hand squeezed nervously around his and Alto realised just how easily he could feel her racing heart through the light fabric of her dress when she pulled his arm against herself. Not that Lisette was any different, he couldn’t possibly believe in the confidant front she was showing after knowing her as long as he had, not when he could feel her entire body trembling against him.
hilda is like two ft tall howd she even reach his arm. also like there isnt even any fabric boy u raw touchin her 
His mouth opened and closed, but he couldn’t think what to say, he wasn’t mentally prepared for any of this! He’d gone from expecting to go to sleep, to being visited by Lisette, to being dragged through the halls, and now he was being sprung with some surprise meeting!? And both of them were clinging to him like never before! 
this is in character alto not wanting to have a threesome so he can go nap
He couldn’t possibly keep up. Before he even realised it, he’d been pulled all the way over to Lisette’s bed and was sitting with a girl wrapped around either of his arms.
what a problem! what a terrible day for him! what are the odds of this happening!
“What… What’s going on?” “Something good.” Hilda answered in her own cryptic fashion, her voice almost breathless and her blazing red cheeks half hidden behind his cloak as she shyly slid in right next to him.
it is most certainly not good ma’am
“That’s right,” Lisette agreed, happily snuggling up against him as she squeezed herself around his other arm, “We’re gonna help you come to a decision!”
we’re gonna make u C*M...............to a decision ;)
Alto blinked, “Eh?”
petition for this to turn out like the friends episode where ross got kicked out of a threesome with his wife and another woman bc they were lesbians so he left and made a sandwich
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conveniently the fic decides to break here anyway so thats all you get for now. I’ll finish the other parts later (im expecting like maybe five because of the gargantuan size of this travesty) and link them direct from here 
Part 2 here! (coming soon)
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cutekitten6 · 7 years
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Things I want from season 2 and 3 of Miraculous Ladybug
Season 2 opens up to Marinette well underway with her training from Master Fu, with the flashbacks to when she first arrived, getting her questions answered.
He tells her their history of the miraculous, and maybe drops sly hint s about who Chat Noir is
In between their daily savings, Chat Noir realises that his Lady has been arriving to the rescue particularly late. it’s quite the cause for concern that he asks her, after some deliberating.
She answers with some excuse, because Master Fu told her that Chat Noir couldn’t join her until his kwami told him he was ready.
(and plagg doesn’t think he’s ready)
((mostly  for the memes to keep adrien away from knowing who his Lady is.))
ok but then the reveal
it’s a special episode, because it’s a special moment
there’s the regular fight against evil, except Marinette figures out/sees Adrien is Chat Noir
she freaks out in her room, screaming into her pillow because ONE OF HER BEST FRIENDS IS HER CRUSH
Marinette can’t leave her room for several days, for fearing of seeing Adrien and losing it completely.
she pretends to be sick and asks Alya to give her any homework
only guess who shows up at her door
Adrien
Adrien shows up
Marinette freaks and is unable to look him in the eye, acting more fidgety around him than normal.
he doesn’t seem to notice and says that he hopes she feels better, and that Alya gave him homework to give her
Marinette is silently cursing Alya’s name
she quickly thanks him and rushes back inside to scream into her pillow even more.
Tikki tells her that eventually, when evil strikes, she will have to go out and face the villain with chat noir. the dynamic duo has to live on even if she knows who chat noir really is
eventually, marinette sucks it up and does her best to act “normal” around chat noir, to the point where she forgets who he is while they fight their villain.
when they do their signature fist bump, she suddenly remembers and falls back into the awkward pit she put herself in.
then the season would show her maturing and developing as she comes to grips with the fact that Adrien Agreste is Chat Noir.
then one day, after when they are out on their patrol, ladybug let it slip that she knows who chat noir is.
she says it in the most passive and joking way that if he were to ever miss a fight, she would know where to haul his ass
and chat noir is laughing but then hes like “wait whut?”
and ladybug is like O SHIT I GOTTA GO
another thing i want is the friend reveal.
but im so conflicted on how it should happen
on one hand i want Alya to realise her best friend is the most famous superhero is all of Paris
but on the other i want the Marinette to tell Alya because of the guilt, and also to confide in someone other than tikki that Adrien is Chat noir
in both cases Alya would flip
she would confront Marinette privately and totally flip out and scream excitedly
Marinette would deny it badly, but eventually would admit it and let Alya freak out
and boy would Alya  F R E A K out
of course she promises to keep it a secret, which she does. she has some trouble keeping this from Nino though
however, season 3 is when things really heat up
because Nino, by now, most probably knows about Marinette and is D Y I N G to tell Adrien
Adrien is still in the dark on who is Lady actually is, and he wonders why Marinette always freaks out when Nino and Alya joke around.
then in an episode somewhere in the middle of the season, Adrien finds out.
it’s a sort of out of body experience he has, when he sees Ladybug transform into Marinette
he’s on the building opposite the Dupain-Cheng bakery, a breadth of a second away from calling out Ladybug’s name when she transforms down.
it takes him a moment to fully realise what he just saw
at first hes unable to comprehend it, totally confused as to why Marinette was standing where Ladybug had just stood.
then he sees a small flying red kwami rest on the palm of her hand, and he realises
he almost transforms down out of pure shock.
when he gets home, Adrien starts analyzing every single detail and memory he has with Marinette, looking for clues and hints that may have given away the fact his Lady was sitting behind him all along
he goes to Nino and asks him in the most vague way if he knew who Ladybug was
Nino, being the dense fuck he is, just bursts out that “O H MY GOD ALYA MADE ME SWEAR NOT TO TELL YOU! BUT I CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER, CAN YOU?”
and Adrien is like “Alya for fucks sake.”
he asks for advice on how to proceed, because he can’t exactly go up to her and shout YOU’RE LADYBUG in class, because what if hawkmoth heard?
also he’s suddenly very shy at the thought that Marinette knows how much of a Ladybug fanboy he is.
Nino says lightheartedly that maybe he should tell her. you never know, she could be cool with you knowing her secret identity
and Adrien is just thinking that it’s unfair how he knows her secret identity as Ladybug, but she doesn’t know his as Chat Noir
so he comes up with this elaborate scheme to tell her his identity and to tell her he knows her identity.
because that just the kind of nerd he is.
and before he can execute his plan, danger calls.
Marinette excuses herself from class, probably to transform. Adrien follows in pursuit.
all he’s thinking is “screw the plan, i need to tell her.”
he catches her arm as she entered the girl’s bathroom.
she glances at him in surprise, unsure as to why his grip is so firm
then he swallows and says it
“good luck, My Lady.”
Marinette’s eyes are cloudy with confusion. she stares at him wondering why he’s calling her his lady.
Adrien thinks it’s beccause she doesn’t know about his identity
but Marinette wonders why. why did he call me his lady? I know he’s Chat Noir but does he . . .
the akuma roars and snaps the two of them out their strange limbo. they face the noise and break away
when they face each other as their personas, they don’t recognize the other as Adrien Agreste or Marinette Dupain-Cheng. only Chat Noir and Ladybug.
after the fight is won, Ladybug quickly flees, since she’s about to detransform. Chat Noir chases after her.
they’re in a empty corridor of the school when ladybug see’s that chat noir has followed her.
“Chat Noir! what are you doing?”
“it’s okay, ladybug. I know.”
Ladybug frowns, then swears Alya’s name.
“i swear, adrien, if Alya told you-”
“You know who i am?!” Adrien’s eyes are popping out, because he spent all this time worrying about her reacting to his secret identity.
she waves her hand and says that she’s known for a while. “but how do you know?”
“i saw you transform down.”
“I saw YOU  transform down!”
they pause, as their time reaches its limit. the brilliant light swirls around them. their eyes are glued to each other as the light swirls around their faces.
it shouldn’t have been such a surprise to either one, but they still blush and look away.
then maybe the rest of the season, or even season 4, is them trying to balance their life with their secret identities out, with Alya and Nino helping them out in class.
like, very similar to the Danny Phantom reveal, when his friends and sister started helping him with the ghost work and keeping his identity secret.
oh wow this was long.
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