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#im SO fucking excited to see them in September 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
sxtaep · 1 year
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You only got horny once? That means that you're purer and better than most of us here 😭😭😭😭😭😭. What did tht guy do to ruin you? 👀
THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING BUT WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE NEED SOME TMI AROUND HERE 😭😭😭
it’s probably nothing serious and petty to some of you BUT THIS FUCKED ME UP DIFFERENTLY 😭
get ready for a long, boring story time guys
tw: jahanara being fucking stupid
ok i’ve mentioned this guy before, but let’s call him X for this storyline 😭
so, me and X have known each other since we were 11, we went to the same secondary school and ended up going to the same college. we weren’t close in secondary school, he was just a classmate and a mutual friend and that was it really.
going round to september 2020 when college started, that’s when we found out that we went to the same college and a lot of our mutual friends also joined us there so that’s when we started getting close along with our other friends.
it all started with a game of among us and then a server on discord where we used to play and talk everyday 😭 it was really fun and i guess that stemmed my liking towards him?
he was so nice and funny and he’d always be nicer to me compared to everyone else in our friend group and that just threw me totally off-guard.
in college when we’d meet up before/after our classes, we’d be with the rest of our friends just chilling and stuff or we’d be walking home together talking about the most random things (mostly aot).
now now, everyone in our friend group knew that i used to write smut and ffs and stuff so they’d always tease me about it, but he in particular would ask me questions like “how do you come up with this stuff?” “are you even into any of the things you write?” and i’m guessing he used that against me later on, you’ll see.
i think around December 2020 was when i became absolutely certain that i had a crush on him and IT WAS KILLING MEEE and it was the night of my birthday, i was talking to my close friends and i told them i was gonna confess just to get it off my chest and they were very onboard and supportive about it, so i messaged him.
surprisingly, he was very nice and normal about it which was weird because he’s the most unemotional person in the world 😭 but yeah, he said he appreciates it but he wasn’t looking for a relationship or anything and he’s more focused on his studies and i reassured him like “oh, i’m not looking for a relationship either, i’m just telling you to get it out of the way.”
like genuinely, i didn’t want a relationship, YOU GUYS KNOW ME 💀😭 but yeah, and he goes “you deserve someone a lot better than me anyway,” which made me go ??? wow really?
we ended the conversation on a good note and basically got on with our lives as normal.
two weeks go by and suddenly he’s being so distant towards me?? he was actively speaking on the groupchats we were in and taking to other people but whenever i tried to speak to him ON THE GROUP CHAT, he’d just ignore me and i was thinking ????? ok then, what did i do to him?
it got quite bad to the point where he’d just be openly rude to me and making unsolicited jokes towards me (and other people) so we were all like what the hell???
he also VERY SPECIFICALLY SAID “jahanara is not funny” which tbh idrc about bc a lot of my irls say i’m the least funniest in the group 😭 but my mates were still there to defend me like their lives depend on it (love them fr 😭) and then he goes again, “jahanara is not funny. at all.” IM LIKE DAMN DUDE WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?
of course i ignored it and didn’t say anything because i HATE confrontation so i just left it.
X was close with my friend L, so she asked him why he was being so rude and distant to me and he goes “i didn’t want jahanara liking me because i knew she would end up hurt, so i made it seem like i’m a dickhead,” AND HE THOUGHT IT WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA 💀💀💀 it was not.
around february 2021, i was getting very very excited for the grammys because i thought bts would win and so i put a poll on my snapchat story that said ‘if bts win a grammy, i will _____’
that gained a lot of traction and people were sending crazy suggestions and one of my close friends was like “you should masturbate” AND I WAS LIKE GIRL???? ARE YOU FR???
and she was dead serious SO AS A JOKE, i added that onto the poll and everyone voted for that option because everyone saw me as the overtly horny virgin for bts that has never touched herself before because she’s scared 😭😭
i think a day before the grammys, everyone on the groupchat was talking about it, even the non-armys in our friend group were so invested in me doing this if bts won 😭 and they were all giving me tips and stuff and suddenly X goes “message me when you do it.”
i didn’t think much of it because my best friend also told me to message her when i do it which was so embarrassing 💀😭
so the grammys start, it’s about 2am march 15th 2020, and i’m sitting there waiting for them to announce who on, and of course, bts lost. i was bummed that they didn’t win but i thought fuck it, let me just do it once and get it over with because im an adult, how have i not done it before?
i send a snap of myself with a thumbs up to my best friend and X and i was like “wish me luck guys” and i was shitting bricks 😭
obviously i didn’t know what to do or how to start, but X responded to my snap straight away and he asked me if i knew what to do and i said no 💀 and i guess he kind of… got me started????
this is so embarrassing but he did actually help me get in the mood, he texted me a bit, yk just telling me how to get started AND I DONT KNOW WHAT CAME OVER MY HEAD BUT I SENT HIM NUDES 😭😭😭😭 LIKE NOT FULL ON FRONTAL NUDES, JUST LIKE…. A TITTY PIC OR TWO. OR THREE (bare in mind, i genuinely thought he was helping me because he liked me back 3 months after i confessed).
like seriously, idk what possessed me to send him nudes, i think i was very h word and gripped onto the fact that he may have actually had feelings for me 😭
he screenshot all of them and he was feeding me with so many compliments and praise and yk pulling the whole “pretty girl” “good girl” thing and that really got me going 😭
OH AND THEN HE PHONED MEEEE AND HE GUIDING ME THROUGH THE PHONEEEE AND THAT DID IT FOR ME that was the first time i actually felt very GENUINELY turned on, LIKE I WAS ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR, THIGHS LITERALLY SHAKINGGGGG AND THROBBING AND I WAS SHOCKED BECAUSE IS THIS HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO FEEL??????
he was also… getting off too, i heard it all so that also blinded me into thinking he had feelings for me too 💀💀💀
he was doing the whole “if i was with you rn, i’d treat you so good” blah blah blah yk? the usual stuff, and i’m pretty sure we were at it for a good 40 minutes before wrapping up because i genuinely couldn’t finish and i hear a lot of women don’t finish often so i figured it was normal.
we said goodnight to each other and ended the call and the next day he sends a message on the groupchat and he goes “how was it, jahanara?” and i didn’t know what to say so i just went “yep, good. very good.” like we were playing this 'lets keep this between ourselves'.
i fully thought he liked me back after that night 😭 bro i was so blind 💀
i ended up telling my best friend because she has no other friends fr she’s my ride or die, so i just told her and the keeping it a secret thing didn’t last because one of X’s friends messaged me asking about it and i was like ….. how do you know?
turned out, X told his friend about it WHICH IMMEDIATELY GOT ME THINKING, OH NO WHAT IF HE SHOWED THE PICS I SENT??? so i messaged him asking him to delete them and he did, with proof, thank god .
everyone ended up finding out about what happened that night so everytime it was mentioned, it was just so awkward between us.
this all happened during the december-march 2021 lockdown we had and the lockdown ended on the 17th so i saw him that day it was so awkward being around him after that, i just knew things would never be the same.
i’d say around may, he started gaining an interest in one of my friends (a very close online friend) let’s call her D after i posted a photo of her on my story.
he kept asking questions about whether she had a boyfriend and stuff and me being me, completely impartial, i told him no, she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and then he wanted to add her on snap so i gave it to him.
i checked in with my friend D and she said she was fine being added by him and she had absolutely no interest in him the way he did AND she knew i liked him so she was never going to pursue anything anyway.
she added him back and X was trying to flirt with her and D thought it was the most embarrassing thing ever trying so hard to win her over.
he spent a good couple weeks chatting her up and begging for photos (nudes, duh) and she didn’t give them so he kind stopped with all the messages.
i knew everything because D was telling me what he was doing and i thought… God wtf? is this who i really like?
a lot of our friends found out about it and confronted him going “why would you go after jahanara’s friend begging for nudes when you know she still likes you?” and he got so much shit for it he took it out on me, again, being rude and making insensitive comments about everything and from there everything just fizzled.
i removed him everywhere, snapchat, instagram, his number, discord etc etc and he did the same apparently i couldn’t care less.
he became this guy that was so hard to talk to without getting attacked for no reason and he started spewing all this shit about what happened on grammys night, and just talking so much bs but me being me, i didn’t say anything about it or confront him about it so i just left it and let everyone else say what they wanted.
throughout 2021/22 everything died down, the groupchat became less active, people were talking a lot less, X was still bitching around me and being rude but whatever. everyone started uni so the groupchat actually died out so now interactions are very scarce.
this whole story pretty much stemmed my dislike towards males and relationships and sexual encounters. i haven’t even ATTEMPTED to be intimiate with myself since march 2020 because i’m always gonna be reminded of him and what he did, telling all his mates about it and what-not.
can’t even bring myself to wear the same pyjamas i wore that night because it makes me feel icky ☹️
but ye, that’s the story in balamory 😁 hope you guys enjoyed 😁👍
bared my titties for someone that wasn’t bangtan, i can’t believe it
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lynsburner · 10 months
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BESTIE BESTIE BESTIE DID YOU SEE THE VID OF ANDY SINGING UNKNOWN ON STAGE????
https://twitter.com/hozier/status/1666156710816251927?s=46&t=LSoyIXqT91OLGNpISabobw
“you know the distance never made a difference to me” THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF WAS YOUR FIC 😭 this song is sooooo andy/lovely core im obsessed!! i can’t wait for it to come out, A) bc it sounds amazing already, and B) bc im so excited to hear your thoughts on it!!!
Oh... bestie... you might not like my answer for this one because I am absolutely begging him to put this one bACK IN THE VAULT (or whatever it is. Sorry I have too much Taylor on my mind after going to the eras tour twice now. And for the last time, I swear.)
Is it a bad song? Absolutely fucking not. It's gorgeous. But it hits a little too close to home for me.
So... I am about to tell a silly story. Picture this. It is late September. I am SEATED to see Carly Rae Jepsen at Radio City. I check twitter (yes I am on the hoz side of twitter. Not under this name, though lol). People are freaking out about a tik tok he made. I had only seen a small clip posted of him jamming on a guitar so I think nothing of it.
The curtain goes up. Carly comes on. I am having the most fun two hours of my life because how can't you when you get to hear the best opening number for an album ever made, sax and all? She ends with Cut to the Feeling, one of the most joyous songs ever made! I am on a happiness high! Nothing can ruin my night!
And then I am sitting at the bus stop and I check tik tok and realize it was a full song! A full song about a long-distance relationship! And I start SOBBING!!!! Because guess what? That song is SAD!
So I go from absolutely forgetting every bad thing that had ever happened to me to full-on crying about a failed relationship I was still not over!!! In the middle of 5th Avenue, no less!!!!
Idk if you've heard the full thing, but it is DEPRESSING! It's basically the opposite of Francesca (or the "I'd do it all over again" motif) ! He literally sings "And there are some people, love, who are better unknown" like??? Imagine thinking you're better off never someone than knowing them at all! (which, I know is my interpretation, and I can very much be wrong but that's what it's giving to me!) I can imagine! I was still in that mindset! Especially since this one was about a long-distance relationship! It hit me too fucking hard!!! I have literally ignored every live performance I've come across of it on social media since because it makes me absolutely sob!!! I wish I was joking!
Anyway, a hilarious bookend to this: the day he announced in that Instagram Q&A the date Unknown was officially being released? Guess who I was seeing in concert that night? That's right! Carly Rae FUCKING Jepsen!!!!! *Insert the "If I had a nickel" meme here*
But yeah, he got the real long-distance thing down to a fucking t, especially with the second verse, "Funny how true colors shine in darkness and in secrecy. If there were scarlet flags, they washed out in thе mind of me" because yeah, you can forgive a lot of shit when the person isn't physically in front of you! Also, "Where a blinding light shonе on you every night Either side of my sleep" to me is just a fancy little way of saying face time/late night calls lol. (Again, I could be wrong, but still!)
But (I am sorry for repeating "But"... BUT!) he also confirmed it's from circle 9, which is treachery! Which... well I am not defining a successful relationship as treachery, I'm sorry! Judas is in that circle! And I did too many years in Catholic school to know what that guy fucking did!
Anyway, unlike me and my ex (and whoever the fuck Hoz is singing about, may they have their peace and never have to hear this one randomly in a store or some shit), Andrew and Lovely are definitely on better terms in my mind and are absolutely thriving <3 As I said before, love those crazy kids! They're in their own universe probably looking at rings as we speak! Or face-timing since he's out on the road! Good for them!
This is also not an insult to long-distance relationships in general. I loved that shit. It was wonderful! The guy, though? He sucks! And I am still doing some reflecting on that (which I am sure will continue once I force myself to listen to Unknown in a non tik tok way!)
Lovely Anon, I know this is not the answer you expected, but hopefully, it makes you chuckle! Or at least gets you to listen to the greatest album ever made: Emotion, by Carly Rae Jepsen!
PS: thank you for that other ask because I have been putting "no plan" back into my rotation of songs and oh boy I forgot how fucking good it was!!!!!
PPS: I hope this didn't come off as too, "Uhm, actually!" because that was not my intent! The opening, out of context, is absolutely Lovely and Andrew coded! But the rest? Oh, she has words for him!!!!!
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daegall · 1 year
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I posted 1,941 times in 2022
That's 641 more posts than 2021!
867 posts created (45%)
1,074 posts reblogged (55%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@daegall
@haechantaeil
@hy-cks
@neocatharsis
@haerotonins
I tagged 1,909 of my posts in 2022
Only 2% of my posts had no tags
#haechan! - 560 posts
#asks! - 457 posts
#sunny thinks! - 198 posts
#anon! - 165 posts
#nct dream! - 109 posts
#sunny thinks! :: about haechan <;/3 - 91 posts
#chip &lt;3 - 83 posts
#recommended! - 72 posts
#mark! - 72 posts
#nct dream fluff - 62 posts
Longest Tag: 73 characters
#hes so 😡😡😡☹️😢😢☹️☹️😭😭😭💔💔💔😟😟😟🤨🤨🤨😓😓😓😆😆😆💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
no bc Imagine that haechan have so much confidence in you that he asks you to pick up their little brothers from school because he’s busy, and when they see you they are super excited because they love their brother’s girlfriend and want to play with u :(
no bc .
pairing: bf!hyuck x (fem!) reader ft. hyucks brothers who don't have names LOOOL
genre: fluff, established relationship! AU
warnings: none i think
word count: 652 words
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662 notes - Posted September 5, 2022
#4
Say it again.
pairing: boyfriend!hyuck x reader
genre: fluff, established relationship!AU, slight roadtrip!AU
warnings: is mentions of being pushed into the sea a warning also this is super cheesy idk
word count: 1k words
a/n: monch cronch im in love with black hair hyuck
networks/taglist: @neoturtles @knet-bakery @kflixnet @nct-writers @k-radio + @soobin-chois @markhyuckselca @jaehunnyy &lt;3
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675 notes - Posted October 3, 2022
#3
Tell me everything.
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↳ Best friends are supposed to tell each other everything, but Donghyuck isn't all that sure if he can tell you about his feelings. (He obviously also doesn't know that you have a big fat crush on him too)
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pairing: best friend!hyuck x reader
genre: fluff, crack, slight angst, best friends to lovers!AU
warnings: um parties, mentions of alcohol, reader and hyuck are so fucking oblivious, bro idk i dont rmember writing this fic im so sorry
word count: 8.8k words
a/n: oh my fucking god the rollercoaster this fic has been to me. i swear to god i have never ever been so blocked EVER im sos ososososoooo sorry this is SO overdue man i feel so guilty and at the same time i feel so disappointed in this fic but its ok ^^ i'll just grow out of it in the future and look back and laugh (with tears &lt;/3)
anw BIG HUGE thank you to the godess of editing herself, @jenotapes ! thank you so so sooo much aisha for the beautiful header, i cannot express how much i love it and how thankful i am, it's so gorgeous it's liek theonly good thing about this whole thing HAHA
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865 notes - Posted September 4, 2022
#2
NUMBER 66'S GUIDE 2 LOVE!
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↳ Lee Donghyuck is great at baseball, and absolute shit at love.
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pairing: baseball player! hyuck x reader
genre: baseball!AU, fluff, slight angst, slight crack, slow burn, bff2l!AU, some pining i think?
warnings: injuries, much swearing, pining and obliviousness, lots of food, alcohol, someone gets drunk, parties, drunk kisses , reader is very light weight, more to be added if found
word count: 15.5k words (edited and updated on 15/04/22)
a/n: hmhmhmmm yes yet another bff2l sport au fic for hyuck >:) this was originally for (yet another) sports!AU collab before the host (i-m4rk) deactivated :( i would still like to thank aleina nonetheless for the collab, it really motivated me to write &lt;3
thank you @byeolhyesisi for the beautiful header!!!! its stunning i wouldnt have it any other way <33 and another thanks to @hirokari !!!!!!! tysm for being my first official beta reader and for helping me wiht the fic like 2 days before the release!!!!
and with lots of consideration, i've decided to make a playlist for this fic! songs were chosen by mari (once again, @hirokari ) and it's on her acc since my acc has my personal friends and i dont want them to see my fics HAHA
thank you so much for being here, now enjoy the fic my loves!!!!
playlist here !
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1,399 notes - Posted April 4, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
# TRUTH OR DARE? - l.dh
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↳ Truth. Would you be my fake girlfriend for 2 weeks? Dare. Be my fake girlfriend for 2 weeks.
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pairing: Lee Donghyuck x reader
genre: fluff, crack, angst, friends to lovers! AU, roadtrip! AU, fake dating! AU
warnings: mentions of mental breakdowns, swearing, lots of food, mentions of violence, but no actual action of it, more to be added if found
word count: 18.1k words
a/n: hey this is my 5th time changing the a/n because just as i thought the fic would be over, it isnt. but hey!! its finally done right? anyways, please please pleasssee tolerate the messy writing my mind was in so many places when writing this fic. In the beginning, i had a completely different plot, but it eventually evolved to how it is now so i know it's gonna be messy at some parts (the beginning <;3)
also note that i know Haechan has siblings, but I didn't want to assume things about them or anyhting, so i made my own oc as his little sister
series masterlist
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1,483 notes - Posted February 22, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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half-doomed · 3 years
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God damn i fucking love glass animals
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