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#ill talk bout him more later if anyone interested oop
squuote · 3 years
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oc time ig i originally wasn’t gonna post these cause uh gore n stuff but i rlly love this dude and the art i make of him ;;
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jeremiahgrey · 4 years
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JEREMIAH GREY ##STATS&BIO
Basic Information
Full Name: jeremiah grey
Nickname(s): jay
Age: twenty-four
Date of Birth: march 23, 1995
Zodiac Sign: aries
Hometown: las vegas, nevada
Current Location: san francisco, california
Ethnicity: his mother is caucasian, his father is african american
Nationality: american
Gender: cis male
Pronouns: he/him
Orientation: heterosexual
Physical Appearance
Face Claim: justice smith
Hair Colour: dark brown
Eye Colour: dark brown
Height: 5′10″ (178 cm)
Weight: 149 lbs (68 kg)
Health
Physical Ailments: none
Neurological Conditions: borderline personality disorder
Allergies: none
Sleeping Habits: varies, depending on level of anxiety/current state of mind.
Eating Habits: varies. tends to snack frequently, rather than eat large meals.
Exercise Habits: goes for a run 1-2 times a day.
Emotional Stability: it varies, but overall about a 5 or 6.
Sociability: likes to be alone, or in the company of 1-5 other people. but he doesn’t fear public places or crowds and doesn’t have social anxiety (typically). just a preference.
Addictions: cigarettes, usually stress related.
Drug Use: none that he consumes habitually. he’s experimented with psychedelics and marijuana, but it’s just a once in while type thing.
Alcohol Use: about once or twice a week on average.
Personality
Positive Traits: adaptable, adventurous, amusing, charming, determined, quick witted, resourceful, tough
Negative Traits: detached, finicky, moody, obsessive, quick tempered, stubborn, unstable
Hobbies: swimming, running, conspiracy theories, hiking, visiting abandoned towns/buildings & old cemeteries, people watching
Habits: smoking, whistling, biting the skin around his nails, fiddling with objects or his clothing, tapping his foot
BIO:
TRIGGER WARNINGS: CHILDHOOD ABUSE, SELF HARM & SUICIDE IS BRIEFLY MENTIONED, MENTAL HEALTH
Jeremiah grew up in Las Vegas
His father left him and his mother when Jeremiah was 12. He had been verbally and physically abusive to both of them up until his departure.
The trauma stuck with Jeremiah and later led to him being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder
When he was in middle school he would have “episodes” of social and mental withdrawal. They would last a few hours typically, and without the clinical resources to diagnose it, he would always refer to it as being “trapped in himself”
Being trapped meant he was disassociating. He would basically just “blank out.” An inability to focus on one thing, just racing thoughts that he couldn’t keep track of or characterize. Often times he would have to physically escape as well, isolating from other people. A lot of the time he had urges to self harm, or even suicidal fantasies.
His personality for the most part was bubbly and charismatic, he was adventurous and always starting a new hobby or interest. And then he would become “trapped” in his mind.
His inability to characterize his mental illness, and his childhood trauma, culminated in a short temper.
He was suspended from school in his junior year for getting into a fist fight. He was sent to mandatory counseling sessions, where he was formally diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder.
For a few years he faded in and out, never quite having a quick fix or remedy when he felt trapped or angry. And he refused medication, or any forms of continued therapy.
His senior year of school he just couldn’t put up with it anymore. The bouts of aggression, being labelled a freak, the lost sense of loneliness that accompanied being “trapped.”
Every time he’d have an “episode” he would journal. An attempt at collecting and manifesting the racing thoughts. He would smoke a cigarette, hold his breath, count to ten, and write everything he possibly could. Then he would go for a run.
It worked, at least a little bit. It made him feel more in control. A way to cope. And whenever he feels it coming on, he has to get away, and chase that ability of control. He doesn’t always have to write, but he needs to do something. Go to the top of a building and yell his thoughts, or to a creek to throw rocks and count out his feelings. It’s not a one hundred percent fix, and he still has outbursts that mimic rage. But he can clench his fists and disappear and try to deal with it.
He moved to San Francisco when he was twenty one. Just to get out on his own, face the world. His mom had a new boyfriend, someone better than his father. And he felt okay leaving her, finding himself.
Today he’s still the same guy with borderline personality disorder, but it’s not a ghost that unwittingly haunts him. He just lets it happen, redefines it. Yeah, a bit unstable, but he doesn’t fear it anymore. Of course, he still has the traumatic threads of his pasts that still weave into his character from time to time. But he feels more free than he’s ever felt before. He has an apartment, and a job, and a different outlook on his mental health. It doesn’t feel like he’s trapped anymore, it’s just a burst of  inward thinking that he can channel into something recognizable and bearable.
Jeremiah works as a delivery guy for the businesses on Carroway Street.
FAST FACTS / HEADCANONS / PERSONALITY:
Goofy and lovable, unless he’s in a “mood.” Sometimes he may seem a bit odd or scatter-brained, jumping from topic to topic in conversation.
Likes memorizing random facts, and sprinkles them in when talking to people. He doesn’t naturally have a very good memory, so he tries to purposefully improve on that.
Often comes up with nicknames for people.
Sometimes he’ll just say some cryptic, vague shit. Something ominous or nonsensical. This is just him thinking out loud usually.
The way he interacts with people is usually pretty vibe based. If someones a dick, he’s a dick. If someones acting tough, he’ll probably try to get under their skin or irritate them a bit. He’s not afraid to say what’s on his mind, and usually the thought of “filtering” himself isn’t even present. It doesn’t feel controversial to him to say some of the things he says. He doesn’t think of himself as bold or brash, but he’s come to learn over his entire lifetime that it’s the reason he’s so often branded as a freak or a weirdo.
ALSO just because he doesn’t “filter” himself in conversations, doesn’t automatically mean he’s an asshole, or saying rude things constantly. A lot of the times he will say stupidly sweet things that the average person would find cringy or awkward to say to another human being so brazenly.
He’s also pretty good at reading people, just he’s not very good at acting accordingly and appropriately?? I guess? Like he can pick up on vibes, but that probably won’t change the fact that he’s gonna say what he’s going to say. 
And lastly (I promise this is the end and I’m sorry this got rambly oops) he’s kind of stubborn and can be bossy, like once he gets something in his head like THAT’S IT, he’s doing it and he wants you to do it. And you can call him bull-headed or balky but he’s just going to insist he’s passionate and determined. And it’s probably annoying to the people around him but he doesn’t really care honestly he’ll probably just rant and rave and somehow convince whoever he’s with because he has a sort of cheeky charm about him. but also he’s a pain in the ass sometimes i guess.
PLAYLIST:
coming soon
WANTED PLOTS/CONNECTIONS:
any of these can be platonic or romantic, depending on how we develop them!!!
a friend that he can just “shoot the shit” with. someone who will go on little adventures with and sit in the woods with or sit on the beach with and listen to music. they never pry about his mood swings and they give him space and stuff?
someone who works at jukebox records and doesn’t mind when he loiters around all day and recommends music to him, and sometimes they’ll sit at one of the listening booth things at the store and listen to each others recommendations together.
a drinking/karaoke buddy
someone he met when he first moved to san fran (3 years ago), and maybe he’s told them about his past and his mental illness and his coping mechanisms and they’re good at recognizing the signs and they kinda help him out and let him vent and they’re just supportive and understanding. but also respect when he just needs to be alone or escape, but checks up on him cause < 3 < 3
a neighbor (in his apartment, and im assuming he lives in the calloway apartments i guess) but they started off as enemies kinda? like maybe one of them would blast music and then the other would bang on the walls and be mad and leave little passive aggressive notes telling them to stop being annoying. but maybe the loud music stopped or something?? and then the other person was like “whoa are they okay?” so then they started leaving notes that were caring and supportive and maybe little gifts or knick knacks or food for them, or little scavenger hunts, and then they just kinda started hanging out one day. IDK, this can be discussed more in depth/particular in dm’s i guess. this would be cutesy i feel!!!
an ex girlfriend or ex fwb. but it didn’t work out because they couldn’t really deal with jeremiah’s mood swings or his need to disappear sometimes, and how vague he would be about it. or maybe they suggested he should go to therapy or a support group, and since he is such a stubborn little pain in the butt he just became distant and felt judged and went cold on them. maybe there’s still some lingering feelings there, either positive or negative. we can discuss the particulars in dm!!!
someone with mental health issues, that he met at a support group when he first came to san fran. but jeremiah stopped attending the meetings after only a few. this relationship could be a lot of different things! maybe it’s hostile/confrontational, because they have differing viewpoints on how to treat mental illness. it could be supportive. or maybe it’s like a secret?? like maybe this other person was at the support group for reasons that they’ve never told anyone, and like, jeremiah can be their trusted friend or confidante.
NOTE: if there are any connections that aren’t mentioned here, but you feel like would really suit my muse, please feel free to message me!!!!!! with anything!!!!!!!
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