Hey, in case no one told you there's nothing wrong with being an addict. You're not a terrible person just because you're addicted to something. You aren't inherently cruel, and you're not vile. Morals have nothing to do with addiction. You being a "good" or a "bad" person is separate from your addiction. Lots of us have addictions and have addictive behavior. Whether it's a substance, either illegal or legal, or a physical thing to participate in like media, addiction is something human beings have always dealt with. Stop equating morality with addiction.
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To me the joy and beauty of vocal synthesizers has always been that they don't sound real and exploring that to create artistic expression that can't be achieved by human voices, so seeing them become more and more realistic is disheartening, almost? Especially since a lot of artists make the same voice banks sound so different and have their own personal charm. I'm glad that people will be able to make things that sound realistic, but I'm worried that songs that intentionally play out of sounding as realistic as possible will be sidelined, discouraged, no longer created, impossible to find, or unsupported by fans of vocal synthesizers. I don't want things to just push towards being as realistic as possible. There is beauty in how everyone's usage of the same voice banks sound different. There is beauty in the lack of realistic sounding vocals in vocal synthesizers.
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I'm going to be honest I think what frustrates me the most about there being so much content about notorious child hater astarion being a parent in a nuclear family unit as opposed to literally any other character is because like. wyll literally becomes a canon father in one of the epilogues. besides laezel he's the only one to do so. how much dad content have you seen for wyll compared to astarion or even laezel. I had some people I've talked to not even KNOW wyll becomes a parent like. come on. come on
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"[high pitched and tinny] Let’s dive in. Let’s dive in. It’s time to dive in. Get ready to [audio distorts and slows] dive. Diiive. Diiiiie…"
(The Road to PALISADE 20: City Planning Department)
so that's what i've been working on for the past 2 weeks!
i wanted to draw something for this intro ever since i first listened to it (as a companion piece to my other gur drawing, though it of course ended up being way bigger in scale), but it only really gripped me about halfway through PALISADE ep 18.
the next morning after that i listened to this narration on repeat for about 45 minutes and then made a big sketch on 4 sheets of paper at my desk at work.
anyways, i haven't listened to the new episode yet but i think i'm probably ready for whatever they're gonna throw at us with the next sortie. i'm gonna believe, against it all, in millennium break. for gur
(i recommend listening along while scrolling!
+ transcript btw. if anything is hard to read)
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I am... So normal about Sunna and Meno. So normal, in fact, that I made their rings so I can stare at them together and think about them constantly. Bless you and your AU for giving the best brain rot.
WHAT????????????? WAIT. WAITWAITWAIT, HELLO? COME BACK HERE, WAIT. I'm so tired, I am mere seconds away from putting my phone down and going to bed. Last minute, I see I've got an ask, so I glance down at the blurry-eyed sight of rings like "oh, did they find rings that look like Sunna and Meno's?"
THEN I REALIZE. THAT YOU MADE THESE. THAT Y-- ARE YOU SERIOUS !?!?!?!?!?
I am literally so baffled. It's perfect too. I tend to lazily disregard the shape of the sun ring whenever I draw it, but no, yeah, that's exactly how the rays look. This is how all of it looks. I need a minute with this... I'm soooooooo. Thank you. I love you. Thank you. Oh my god. I have to stare at this for a moment longer then go to sleep so happy and fulfilled
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in the past week or so ive seen a lot of people posting about how there's this oversexualization of trans girls on the site, and I gotta agree, there are way too many people (including other trans women!) who act like we're all dtf 24/7 or always super kinky and horny. I've been tired of that stereotype for ages and i am saying this as a rather sexual trans girl myself...
...but I think people are overcorrecting a bit now, and are starting to veer into "trans women shouldnt be talked about sexually / need to be shielded from it" territory. and, to me, that's really dangerous, because outside of some queer spaces - and even within them- the sexuality of trans girls is heavily scrutinized, as is attraction to us. as much as I dislike certain aspects of the memes and jokes that kickstarted the stereotypes, I'm kinda grateful for them as well. girldick jokes helped with my bottom dysphoria, voice kink shit helped me like my voice, and the whole "tgirl tummy tuesday" thing gave me a lot of confidence in my body where I hated it before. I think this open appreciation of trans sexiness has done a lot for both me and others on tumblr.
again, obviously its got its problems - people end up assuming every trans girl is horny, or only spread positivity if its related to sex with us, and of course the people who do have dysphoria from the things that are being sexualized are left out (like those the "girls without dicks are like angels without wings" memes, ugh, feels icky every time). and on the note of comparing tgirls to angels, we also started getting treated like we're ethereal fertility goddesses and that t4t sex was some inherently sacred ritual. spoiler alert, trans girls are normal-ass people and t4t sex can be holy for the participants but its generally a pretty normal thing to do as well
coming back to the "don't sexualize trans girls" posts now, I think they were initially going in the right direction, but at this point I'm starting to raise an eyebrow at more than a few of them. I'm not gonna whip out the "youre a sex hating puritan if you post about it" accusation because that is obviously wrong but again, I think people are definitely overcorrecting and starting to turn this into a (false) dichotomy when it's not. its a complex topic and each individual trans woman will feel differently about it.
(I feel like the internet just erases any nuance in favor of a two-sided, highly polarized flamewar with unrealistic views on both sides. actually i wouldn't even say this is a super-nuanced discussion because its really not that hard to say "fetishization is bad, but so is suppression of sexuality". will this post just end up being a void scream and people will continue drawing lines between one side and the other? probably. but I am a stubborn bitch and I have hope that we can be reasonable.)
anyways I'll close this off by saying that I wrote this between around 1:30 and 2 AM on terrible sleep the night before, that I hope what I said is coherent enough, and that I will keep being a trans girl who is openly sexual, gets horny over other trans women, and is proud to be transsexy as fuck. I will keep being critical of jokes and trends and memes that stereotype us, even from our own community. I will keep being angry at how poorly us trans folks are treated with regards to our sex lives, bodies, and relationships between the two. I will keep loving and lusting over trans women without fetishizing them. And I will keep doing all of these til the day I die.
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