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bcdaily · 3 years

Note

jily childhood friends running into each other years later?

Ta-dah! Thank you for the prompt! Now I have to write shorter things, or I’ll never get another done. XD

She knew that hair.

It was a glimpse—a fleeting hint of familiar dark chaotic strands protruding above the multitude of milling heads inside the crowded hotel lobby. Lily stopped where she stood, certain—certain…but that was foolish, surely? It was hair. Billions of people had hair. Even distinctive hair like that. And what would he be doing here, what were the chances…She darted left, slipping through other conference attendees, following the bobbing head of black. Her fingers toyed absently with the lanyard around her neck. Her feet kept moving. She was closing in. But—shit—he was turning into the next doorway. She’d lose him—

“Potter!” she shouted.

The bobbing black head stopped in the doorway threshold. He turned.

Something pulled inside Lily’s chest.

God, it was.

His mouth—an older mouth; familiar features spread across a matured frame, sharper and wider—formed her name. A question. His head tilted.

She squirmed around the last huddled group of conference-goers blocking her path. A middle-aged skeletal bloke shot her an annoyed look as she prodded past him. A server carrying a tray of canapés swerved around her. She wished the tray had been alcohol. She might need it. She wasn’t sure.

James Potter had grown up to be tall. Cresting six feet, easily. His limbs were long, his chest wide, but his hair—that hair—hadn’t changed a bit. Neither had his smile: bright, crooked, with the same infectious delight he’d managed so easily at eleven, now captured just the same in a man of twenty-four.

Twenty-four. They were twenty-four now. She hadn’t seen him in thirteen years.

“Lily Evans,” he said, audibly this time, and the smile grew brighter. “Shit.”

“Shit,” Lily repeated, laughing. Now that there was nowhere to go, no further crowds to weave through, no mop of dark hair to stalk, she was not quite sure what to do. She hadn’t thought past the part of just confirming it was him. Somehow, magically, him. Strange, strange, strange. Now they were standing before each other and—

And he was good-looking.

Had been, back then, at eleven. But that was eleven, and those things didn’t often last. Features shifted. Bodies changed. Conventions came and went at whim. Who could keep up?

James Potter could, apparently.

Not that that was the point. She hadn’t chased him down because he was fit. She could only see his head, for Christ’s sake. She hadn’t known. Not about the height, about the posh specs and the twinkling hazel eyes, about the tanned, sculpted forearms revealed beneath the rolled-up sleeves of his button-down. It wasn’t—

He eyed her, eyeing him. “Do we…hug…or…?”

She snorted. “I don’t know.”

“Reckon I ruined it by asking.” He stuck his hands in his pockets. “Not as natural now.”

“Yes, quite ruined.”

“Ah, well. Will do better next time. Meet again in another…what’s it been? A decade or so?”

“Thirteen years, by my count.”

“Thirteen? Bloody hell, I can’t wait another thirteen years. I’ll be dead. Let’s just—”

And then somehow he was hugging her, and Lily was laughing again, and her fingers were digging into his back as she clutched him to her.

He had a nice back, James Potter did.

A nice smell, too.

The first boy she’d ever kissed remembered to shower. Lovely.

In the past ten seconds, she’d grown greedy and impetuous. As he pulled away, she darted up on her toes and dropped a hasty kiss to his cheek. Stolen, like a criminal. She was in a hotel lobby filled with barristers, and not a single one could convict her, so stealthy was she.

His fingers trailed down her arm as their bodies detangled. Her skin burned along the path.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, stepping back. She really, really needed to step back. “I mean, it’s good to see you—strange to see you, really, but—you’re a barrister?”

It didn’t fit the James Potter in her head. The boy who’d grown up alongside her, had lived in the sprawling, noble house at the top of the hill, running wild with the lot of them in Cokesworth, until he wasn’t. That boy had certainly had the cleverness and confidence to pull off law, but not the patience or deference to its structures and politics. He would’ve collapsed under the piles of paperwork. He would have crowed agony at the rules, the formalities, the bureaucracy. Had that swotty boarding school his parents’ packed him off to changed him so very much?

James pulled a face. “Fuck me, no. I’m running the catering for the conference. My mum—”

“—owned a restaurant,” Lily recalled, somehow delighted not to have pegged him wrong. She closed her eyes wistfully. “God, that’s right. When you moved, we were all bereft. I think I still smell that eggplant appetizer of hers in my dreams.”

“The caponata?” His grin turned sneaky. “She still has it on the menu.”

“Where?”

“Casa. SoHo.”

Lily had heard of it. To think, James Potter, her childhood friend and mild fixation, just a few tube stops away, for who knew how long. “So you’re in London?”

“Since university,” he confirmed. Then his head tilted, and the sneaky smile turned coy. “So you’re a barrister? In London?”

“Yes.” She waved her conference lanyard like a white flag, surrender. “Wildly disappointed?”

“No. It fits.” Humour weaved through his voice—deeper and cooler now, all grown up. “No one could ever win an argument with you. And I tried. It was fun.”

He’d been a menace. He’d taken such delight from getting a rise out of her. But even as children, talking with him had been addicting. There were so few who could match wits with her, even fewer who didn’t take it personally, who dusted themselves off after a rousing debate and stuck out their hand, a shake of respect for the good time. James Potter had been like that. It’s why she’d cornered him behind a tree in the park where they all used to play, just before his parents had packed up house and he’d left for boarding school. With his back against the tree bark, she’d pressed her lips against his and waited to see what he did with it.

He’d cupped her chin with both of his hands and pressed his lips harder against hers.

It was closed-mouths, mere seconds. A first for both of them.

But to this day, Lily’s knees still went weak when someone held her face.

Silly. Stupid. She talked about work to make the memory go away.

“A bit less fun now. It’s mostly forms and deadlines and”—she waved her hand around the room—“swotty, deadly dull networking conferences. I’m just out of school. I hardly do anything yet.”

“But you’re good at it,” James stated, definitive.

She didn’t bother to hide her preen. Was wary by how much pleasure she took out of his automatic confidence in her. “Yes. I’m very good at it.”

They stared at each other, grinning.

He had a girlfriend. Lily was certain of it. There was no way this man did not have a significant other. Or maybe there was a very good reason, because she knew absolutely nothing about him. She hadn’t seen him in thirteen years. Entire lives were lived in thirteen years. Who knew what kind of person he was now? He could cut a dashing figure, hold a conversation, but maybe he also cut up bodies in his flat for fun. Maybe he bit his toenails. Maybe he liked The Big Bang Theory. Maybe he drank milk straight from the carton and then put it back in the fridge.

“You didn’t grow up ugly, James Potter,” she said.

“I looked you up on Instagram a few times,” he replied immediately. “You never post pictures of yourself. But I like your cat.”

“His name is Bosley.”

“I know.”

Lily squinted at him. “What else do you know?”

Hazel eyes gleamed. “Interesting question.”

James Potter’s hands were much larger now. If he worked with his mum in her restaurant, they were probably rough—calloused from use, nicked with cuts and crevasses from an absent knife or oil burned too hot. Eleven-year-old James’s hands had been cool and soft. This James’s hands wouldn’t be.

Lily quelled a shiver.

“You—”

“James?” A server appeared out of the doorway behind him, looking frazzled. “They left behind a case of champagne. I don’t know how. The quiche is running low, and Darnell is feeling ill. What—”

“Send Darnell home. I’ll—” He let out a dissatisfied hum, glancing at Lily, then back at the server. His lips pulled into a frown. He swept a hand through his hair. “Sorry—”

Lily waved him off, though her spirits sank. “No, don’t be silly. Work calls. Feed the hungry. Go.”

He hesitated, his eyes skimming her. “Will you—we’re just catering the event tonight. Swotty and deadly dull, yeah? So you’ll probably skive as soon as you can.”

“No.” She didn’t have any reason to say it so firmly, so quickly. That was just the way it came out. “Work calls for me too. I’ll be here.”

“Yeah?” The frown righted slowly.

She couldn’t believe how ridiculous she was being. Maybe how ridiculous they were both being. She could be a serial killer, for all he knew. Did he not care for the health and safety of his own pretty little head?

Her plan had been to duck out of this conference opening mixer as soon as was physically possible. They were unbearable. That shouldn’t change.

“Yeah,” she said instead.

She was eleven years old, heart fluttering behind a tree. She was an idiot.

“Good.” His body turned, but he was still looking at her. He nodded and repeated, “Good.”

Lily lifted her hand. “Thanks for the hug. See you in thirteen years?”

He smiled. “Something like that.”

She watched his back as he turned through the doorway, stared at the familiar mop of hair until it disappeared around the next corner.

She pivoted on her heels slowly, feeling silly and prickly.

In her pocket, her phone vibrated. She pulled it out and absently glanced at the screen.

She laughed.

James Potter had requested to follow her on Instagram. And he sent her a message.

You didn’t grow up ugly either, Lily Evans, it read.

She was twenty-four years old, heart fluttering in the middle of a hotel.

She shook her head, and pressed ACCEPT.

#jily #bcdaily #drabble #hey hey hey I WROTE SOMETHING #Anonymous

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emerald-amidst-gold · 3 years

Text

OC Interview: Fane Lavellan

Thank you for the tag @dungeons-and-dragon-age! I’ve been eyeing up this meme for a while actually, so this was perfect timing! X3

This takes place Post-Trespasser, about a month or two after, in fact. Solas brought the idea forward, and of course, Fane refused. But after some coaxing, some explanation as to why, and the promise of a whole cake, Fane agreed to humor the request.

*THERE BE BIG THINGS REGARDING FANE HERE*

I got carried awaaaaaay! XD

Introduction

Can you introduce yourself?

“I can, but it’s a lengthy list,” He sighs, “...Those who are close to me, who see as but an elf, call me Fane. Those who wish to meet cobble, call me Lavellan or Herald. Those who are blinded by reverence call me ‘He Who Flew Above’. Denizens of the Fade refer to me as, ‘Devotion’ or ‘Tenacity’. However, my true name is..” He sighs again, “...Aterian. I rarely go by it, but the truth won’t be ignored. It never can be.”

What is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?

“Male. Elvhen. Dragon.” He huffs through his nose, shifting his gaze off to the side, “That’s all I’ll say on that. As for orientation, I’m...emotionally driven. If you asked me to look at another and tell you what’s attractive about them I would say, ‘Nothing.’ I don’t know them, so I feel nothing for them.“ He shrugs, turning his gaze back, but brandishes a glare, “There’s only one person who defies that response, and that’s because he knows me, without and within. More than that, is none of your business.”

Where and when were you born?

He lifts a hand, massaging a temple, “The ‘where’ is simple; Elvhenan. Specifics are lost to me, however, so you’ll have to be content with that response.” He shifts his gaze downwards, slowly crossing his arms, “As to when?” He sighs heavily, “...I have no answer for that other than: I’m roughly the same age, if not older, as Solas. Does it matter, honestly? Numbers fall through the cracks after a specific threshold is crossed.” What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

He unravels a crossed arm and guides his hand downwards, tapping the pommel of a sword he has fastened to his waist, “Sword. I use either long swords, short swords, or great swords.” He raises an eyebrow as a question is forwarded, “Shields?” He sneers a bit. “I don’t use shields. They get in the way, and anyways,” He raises his hand once more, the expanse steadily beginning to glow blue and silver before a spectral coating of scales cover the entirety, “this is better than any shield. I prefer the front lines, the place I can make sure no one breaches, and the lingering memory of what I once was makes sure I can do just that.” He dispels the scales and shakes out his hand before returning it to his crossed counterpart, “It takes energy to maintain, but I’m getting better at holding it for longer.” Lastly, are you happy?

He blinks before his entire expression softens, two toned eyes shining with primary gold as they shift downwards, “...If you had asked that of me over twelve years ago I would have spat in your face and said, ‘Happiness doesn’t exist in this world’. But now..” He trails off, casting a sidelong glance towards one of the fortress’s entryways; a familiar voice sounding, firm, but soft, as if reprimanding a child, “...I understand what happiness is, and it’s in every corner if you allow yourself to see it.” His eyes shift back, holding a far away look and voice coming forward in a murmur, “I only wish we all could be happy; together.”

Family and Friends

What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

His face holds a conflicted look, as if the memory is painful before speaking, “Complicated,” he says before beginning to tap a finger against his bicep, “I had a mother. She died when I was fifteen from a wasting disease, but she was the picture of serenity. Calm, guiding, measured. Hair like moonlight. Eyes like a clear autumn day. She was--” Unbranded features twist with a look of grief, eyes going dark as his voice drops, “...I’d rather not speak of her. It still hurts to. It hurts to speak of any of them,” His eyes narrow, grief stricken expression turning somewhat bitter, “...Especially those who throw all you did for them back into your face because they refused to listen when you needed them to most. Even so, I still wish for her happiness. Cullen better be treating her right,” That bitter turns outright malicious, dark eyes going darker as another question is meekly asked, “Father? I have no father. I only had a monster that haunted my childhood, tore my token of devotion apart, and then stalked me in my dreams. So, no. I have nothing to say about that concept.”

Have you ever ran away from home?

He chuckles, “Many, many times,” He throws most of his weight into one side, tilting his head back as if thinking, counting, “I can’t even remember the amount of times I fled into the forests, to be honest. All I know is that it happened weekly, maybe even daily,” He brings his head back, snowy hair moving with the action to brush the tops of his cheekbones, “Why do you look so surprised?” he asks, snorting a bit at the meek response of, ‘Why so often?’, “Because I refused to endure being treated like a beast every hour of the day merely because I believed differently, or rather, not at all.” He sighs within the next moment, “...I wasn’t any better than the Dalish, though. I lashed out, I spat in their face, dragged their heritage through the dirt, inflicted harm from the smallest of things...” He squeezes his arms, eyes narrowing into a glare, but seeming to see through everything, “...The past repeats. An infernal spiral that will never slow.” Would you consider marriage or having children?

“Marriage? Children?” He blinks, pale visage suddenly going flush before he snarls, “Why do I need to answer those questions?!” The blush deepens and he responds despite his displeased expression, muttering and biting the inside of his cheek, “...Damned keen eyed elves. They know, don’t they? I swear if Abelas fucking ran that mouth of his, I’ll--” He sighs heavily, letting his head fall limp a bit in defeat, “...Yes. To both. The latter is already taken care of, as everyone situated in the Crossroads knows, but...” Pointed ears are now a deep shade of red, “...marriage is...on hold. War time isn’t an ideal summer wedding.” His voice drops, eyes shimmering as if he was before the person his heart yearned for, “...The sky deserves a venue better than a garden of death and deceit.” Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

“There were those in the Inquisition who I didn’t exactly see eye to eye with,” he started before shaking his head, “but I didn’t hate anyone. Everyone is entitled to their own views and what they find important.” He scowls a bit, tapping his bicep once again with a finger, “...Even if they didn’t extend the same kindness to me in the beginning. ‘Do you believe in the Maker?’ ‘Do you believe you’re chosen?’ ‘You need to use the people’s faith. It gives them hope.’” He mocks before snorting harshly, “No. No, I don’t. Oh, that suddenly makes me trash? Ohhh. How terrible.” He scoffs. “Disgusting.” Which friend knows everything about you?

“Solas,” He says within a heart beat before clearing his throat, shifting his gaze away sheepishly, “He knows me without and within.” Emerald and gold blaze as the orbs go wide, the blush of roses coming back in full force, “Wait, wait, wait! I didn’t mean--! Fuck! You better wipe that shit eating grin off your face, elf, or I swear I’ll do it for you!” He growls in frustation, throwing his hands in the air, “Why did I agree to this? What fucking dragon entertains an interview!? This is worst than the courts in Arlathan used to be! And that’s saying something!”

Asked by Fans

Are you literate? Have you been to school?

”I am literate. Sometimes to a fault, in fact,” He smiles a bit, “Poetry is my niche; a lingering memory of my mother. So, I speak cryptically at times,” He snorts, amused, “Although, I guess that isn’t much of a surprise since the Elvhen language is riddled in verse rather than practical application. Still, even some of the ancients left have a hard time deciphering my words,” He shrugs, smile turning into a smirk, “They never expected a dragon to be able to talk, I guess. Well, ta-dah.” The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

A somber expression flits across his visage and eyes, “...That, eventually, I would hurt the one person I never wanted to.” The corner of his mouth twitches, holding both bitterness and grief; a painful duo, “...And retribution came just as swiftly, but it--” He sighs, shaking his head in defeat before muttering under his breath, “Observe and accept. Observe that what came to pass was uncontrollable, and accept that it had to happen for your path to continue, for your soul to be complete.” What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

His face blanks, mouth going into a hard line before a sigh exits through his nose slowly, “...That I don’t have tail.” He snarls, blank expression twisting in warning, “Laugh, elf. Do it.” He nods in the next second when no sounds of amusement come forth, expression going stoic once more, “That’s what I thought. You try living centuries in one form and then transitioning. See what happens.” Do you have mental health or physical issues?

He nods, sighing tiredly. “Like my names, I have a lot.” A hand motions to his body lazily, “My entire body is littered in scars, inflicted through crude experiments by an abomination that sought power like so many others,” He expression sours, jaw working back a forth, “They’ve calmed over the years, but the memories are not so kind.” He sighs, trying to calm himself and lifts his left hand; the Anchor glowing faintly and his eyes watch it, “I have an illness, or rather, sensitivity to any Fade born essence. That, too, has calmed and I’m grateful for that. As for my mind..” He trails off, grimacing a bit as if suddenly in pain, “...Visualize the Void, and there’s your answer. Black walls with crimson torches, seats empty, but somehow wanting for memories to take their seats. However, those occupants never come, burnt to ash by fury’s flame. That’s my mind in a nutshell.” What is your current main goal?

He raises his eyebrows, pursing his lips, “Mm, as of right now, I’m busy helping Solas unlock the eluvians that he couldn’t while I was away,” He flexes his marked hand, watching it with a look of determination in his eyes, “That’ll take time, but after, my people, my kin will have their skies back. I won’t let this power be squandered, and I won’t let the key that I’ve been entrusted with fall into the wrong hands.” His face hardens further, “For if that key rusts, the locks break and the sky will blacken as surely as the earth will redden.”

Choices

Drink or food?

“Drinks.” He says with ease, shrugging, “Food is comforting, especially sweets, but a glass of rum or ale, or a cup of chamomile tea really pounds the word ‘relaxation’ into my head.” Cats or dogs?

He smiles, warmth caressing its edges, “You’ve seen Nislean wandering about the halls, laying on the window sills and curling up in front of the fire,” He hums suddenly, crossing his arms again, “Which reminds me, I need to go out of the Crossroads for milk. I’ll be getting more than five bottles this time.” Optimist or pessimist?

“Depends on who you ask,” He shrugs, seeming unbothered, “I’m neither from a personal standpoint. I try to see the bright spots, but shadows can be very persistent.” Sassy or sarcastic?

He snorts, “Ask Fen’harel,” his voice is light upon the title, playfully mocking in its deepness, “He knows all about that side. Although, he would label it, ‘insufferable’. I would call myself dryly sarcastic, though.”

Have You Ever

Been caught sneaking out?

He purses his lips, “Hmm. Not that I can recall,” he says slowly before his brows jumped and his eyes lit up with memory, “Oh! Wait. There was that one time where I was with Solas and Mythal in a...courtyard, I think?” He shrugs before shrugging, “Doesn’t matter. But, I tried to slip away, tail and all, and I...may have shattered one or two or three eluvians trying to get to the balcony.” He somewhat wistfully, smirking, “Elgar’nan got fucking stuck in a far off settlement for a week, though. Completely worth getting my horn chewed off by a wolf.” Broken a bone?

“Surprisingly, no.” He huffs in amusement, “Wonder of wonders, truthfully.” Received flowers?

“I have,” He scowls, rolling his eyes and shaking his head in disgust, “but I always throw them into the fire. Most are from suitors, those who don’t know what the fuck ‘taken’ means.” Ghosted someone?

His face tightens, completely deadpan, “...No?”, he says, voice raising in question a bit, “At least I don’t believe so. But, then again...oh.” He blanks further, “...Oh. I understand the term now. You mortals are forever twisting the languages, aren’t you? I can’t keep up, but the answer is still no.” Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

“Maybe once or twice, but I don’t ‘laugh’ per say.” He huffs through his nose deliberately, “I do that; a puff of air. Some habits are never truly able to be broken. No matter the form.”

Tagging: @oxygenforthewicked @blueheaded @little-lightning-lavellan @noire-pandora @the-dreadful-canine and anyone else that’d like to play! (no pressure, of course!)

#oc: fane lavellan #welcome to the future! :3 #where fane is more complete and content but suffering in different ways #no one said the path would be easy *shakes head sadly*#again. fane is...a ball of many things and his titles and names show that XD #*thinks about writing post-trepasser shenanigans* :3 #fane used to fuck off elgar'nan as a dragon so HARD #maybe why the god vengeance decided to personally attack him #HMMMM.#dragon age #male lavellan

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themulberrytree · 4 years

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character sheet.

full name: Shallan Davar pronunciation: Sha-Lahn Dah-var (fuck IPA i am not doing that shit again)

nicknames: strong one (by hoid), love, dear (by adolin), storming woman (mostly by kaladin)

height: 5′6″ age: 19/20 (rosharan years) / 21-22 (earth years) zodiac: gemini (donut ask me when her bday is i donut have a date yet) languages: (spoken/written): veden (native), alethi, azish, selay (moderate skill in speaking only) thaylen (reading/writing only).

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour: rich, deep red, only red. eye colour: bright blue skin tone: shallan is very fair, though she spends as much time in the sun as she can, so her face is dusted with freckles. body type: slim and slender. unlike the curvaceous body type often seen on alethi women, shallan is much smaller both in figure and stature. she could be mistaken for delicate, at first glance. as she spends more time training with her blade, her body becomes much more defined and muscular, but she will never achieve any kind of bulky muscles, she simply does not have the body type.

accent: her natural veder accent would be considered low, given shallan’s isolation out in the countryside. she can speak in a more posh (re: acceptable) accent, but she has little reason to do so. dominant hand: right posture: shallan has the posture of a perfect vorin lady, back straight and shoulders back at all times. when sitting, her freehand always covers her safehand, placed delicately in her lap unless she is sketching. when walking, her hands are clasped in front of her. she is rarely animated in her posture when speaking, and depending on her company, she works hard to blend in. when alone, shallan may slouch when studying, or do her work in a very unlady like fashion on her bed. if she trusts her present company, they may witness this lapse in acceptable posture, but only if she trusts them.

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth: jah kaved hometown: some hick town in the middle of the countryside. birth weight / height: 6 pounds, 3 ounces. 18 inches. manner of birth: natural first words: pa siblings: (all elder, all brothers) helaran, balat, twins: wikim and jushu parents: lin davar, and an unnamed mother, malise davar (step mother), all deceased. parental involvement: shallan remembers a somewhat happy childhood (although the likelihood of that being the case is up for debate). her mother taught her how to draw, and was in charge of shallan’s education in the early years. much of her early years have been forgotten due to the trauma of shallan’s witnessing (see: committing) her mother’s murder. she did not speak at all for half a year afterwards. from that point on, her father became overbearing, and with each year he was less of the man shallan had first known. he was violent towards two of her brothers and the servants, often scaring away tutors, so shallan’s education in those critical years was sporadic at best. her father demanded complete obedience, and any deviation on her part meant that a servant got beaten in her place. in order to spare them and placate her father, shallan worked hard to draw little attention to herself and obey. it was her father who also chose her devotary (purity) rather than her having the opportunity to choose for herself.

ADULT LIFE

occupation: she is the ward of jasnah kholin, having managed to convince the woman she was worthy of wardship at seventeen. after being taken in, shallan begins her education in scholarship, fine tuning her skills in making logic based arguments, study, and critical thinking.

on the shattered plains, she secures work with highprince sebarial as a clerk while maintaining the work in finding urithiru that she started with jasnah, and working to infiltrate the secret group known as the ghostbloods.

she latter assumes a more public role as a knight radiant, the first of the order of lightweavers in centuries. while her status as a radiant is known, she works very hard to keep her work covert. she deals in spywork and information, and uses her lightweaving to form disguises for herself and associates. she has also used her abilities to battle unmade, work oathgates, and help run reconnaissance in kholinar.

as highprincess, her duties would include helping manage affairs of the realm and detecting intrigue to better aid her husband.

close friends: lmafo what are those????? jk, her brothers, later adolin, renarin, kaladin, jasnah (sort of, more teacher/student) wit/hoid (when he’s around). relationship status: verse dependent, married to adolin kholin in canon financial status: her family is destitute, and shallan herself has little experience in personally handling money. that being said, she knows how to balance finances and plan expenses. when working for sebarial, she manages to secure a comfortable pay from him, her later marriage secures her financial security, though her status as a radiant could’ve done that too. driver’s license: she could probably drive, but would be terrible at it due to the fact that she’d keep lookin out the window. she has little experience on horseback, but can manage. criminal record: technically none yet, having managed to get away with murder twice. she had also stolen successfully from jasnah kholin.

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation: bisexual romantic orientation: biromantic, could be polyromantic preferred emotional role: submissive (someone pls force her to accept comfort i am beggin) | dominant | switch | unsure preferred sexual role: submissive | dominant | switch | sex repulsed | libido: she’s basically DTF anytime and anywhere, and yes, i wish i were kidding, but she’s just horny on main. turn ons: she’s into more traditional kinds of attractiveness, people who look put together. but she really enjoys some kind of hint at wildness, hair that won’t quite stay, a kind of subtle ruggedness. post-battle disheveledness is HOT. allow her to talk about her studies, things she’s working on or wanting to start, she’ll love that. don’t be afraid to talk about your own interests, she goes off on her own a lot, so she’ll want someone with their own hobbies too. be kind, be willing to grow and change and share. be there if she asks. laugh at her absolutely fucking awful jokes. on the more physical side, not being afraid to show affection in public. that spot on the neck below the ear? yeah, kiss it. leave a mark. kiss the inside of her wrist. do not be afraid to be rough with her, she’s not easily hurt and she doesn’t always like being treated like a china doll. go to town. BUT you must also be good at taking your time. tenderness is a good trait to have in every day life, but if you can translate that into the intimacy of the bedroom, give her a slow buildup, ur golden. turn offs: unnecessary rudeness, lack of independence. anyone who treats her like she needs protecting, or thinks she needs to confine herself in some way, for any amount of time. never laughing at her terrible jokes, or indulging her seemingly random curiosities. being a skybreaker. love language: physical touch is primary, but quality time and words of affirmation are also great. relationship tendencies: shallan has a tendency to fall fast. even when she’s telling herself to be careful and take things slow, it’s easy to pull her in and have her grow an attachment on a superficial level fairly early. she’s good about letting the other person lean on her for support, but she’s not so great when it comes to sharing anything deep about herself. she has a habit of trying to mold herself into what she thinks the other person would like, and clinging to that. if confused she might play around with feelings, though she’s not fully aware she’s doing it. she’s big on positive reinforcement, she’ll let you know if she enjoys your company, and when she’s invested in the relationship, she’ll look for fun ways to spend time with that person. she might attempt to appear more serious and mature than she is, but her silliness will slip out. when she loves though, she loves completely, and a distracted heart is settled once she makes a decision about what she wants.

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song: flowers, from ha.des.town iris, goo goo dolls moth’s wings, passion pit: this is more a general vibe. i picture it when shallan is in a creative spurt. sun, sleeping at last: for the same creation aesthetic. fire drills, dessa (for when she finally Snaps. and also some lines just really Hit)

hobbies to pass the time: drawing is the big one. she’s always got her sketchbook and something to draw with on hand. it’s an art she’s perfected and uses it both for her lightweaving, and to relax. she enjoys scholarship, exploring history is of a special interest, but taking a closer look at the local flora and fauna is just as fun. she’s naturally curious, so if something grabs her attention, she will want to take a look. she also enjoys discussing what she’s working on with other people, sometimes just so she can use them as a sounding board, but also because they might have insights she doesn’t. it’s very fun for her to explore ideas. she likes going on walks, exploring the area around her. just spending quality time with people she enjoys too. mental illnesses: Dissociative Personality Disorder is the big one. ADHD, PTSD, some depression. physical illnesses: None. left or right brained: right fears: CONFINEMENT. she fears vulnerability and relying others, but she also craves it quite a bit. she fears being understood completely because she’s certain there isn’t anything left to love if someone were to see everything. she fears what she can’t understand, and losing the people she loves, more than she already has. self confidence level: extremely low. she projects an air of self confidence, but frequently downplays her talents. she finds it completely astounding that adolin might actually find her attractive in any sense, let alone be interested in her as a person. her trauma and what she precieves as crimes has left her feeling hollowed out, because she is so terrified of someone really Seeing her, she works hard to hide those corners of herself from others and often feels like she’s failing at even that. vulnerabilities: shallan keeps secrets. too many of them. and she can often dig herself into a pit and struggle to get herself out, and even when she’s in that deep, she has difficulty asking for help. she doesn’t always think things through. her dpd can leave her particularly vulnerable depending on which personality is in control (veil in particular has trouble seeing the Big Picture). it’s easy to goad her into a fight (of the verbal variety) and she will stop at nothing to have the last word. if you have members of her family to hold over her, that’s a good tool. and shallan cannot resist a good mystery, that is a surefire way to pull her in.

tagged by: @luck-crowned tagging: @marblecarved (for mary, emma, or horace!), @melnchly (meg or ros), @minastiriiths, @arturiusrex, @gxtenoughnxrve, @ambiidexter, and @arborvitas

#c. shallan #this took me several days of fact checking the books for some shit lmafo #anyway meet my garbage daughter

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rampararams · 4 years

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my comfort films (not in particular order)

Berikut adalah filem yang w tonton berulang-ulang sampe hapal dialognya. Beberapa mungkin belum masuk list. Nanti kalo inget akan w update. Random aja urutannya.

5-star rating for each (personal rate). I highly recommend you to watch these films. I’m not really good at writing—especially writing reviews—but I’ll try my best to give a small review and why I put them on this list. And, I’ll try my best to not give any spoiler in case you haven’t watch it. Ya kalo w sudah kehabisan kata-kata untuk me-review, w tidak akan tulis apa-apa ok.

1. The Imitation Game

“Do you know why people like violence? It is because it feels good. Humans find violence deeply satisfying. But remove the satisfaction, and the act becomes… hollow”

IMDb: 8/10 // Rotten Tomatoes: 90%

Merupakan sebuah kisah nyata dari matematikawan Enggeres bernama Alan Turing yang diperankan oleh om Benedict Cumberbatch. Lalu ada pula matematikawati (?) yang menjadi heroine dalam film ini yaitu Joan Clarke, diperankan oleh mbak Keira Knightley. Udah ga diragukan lagi ya kualitas acting mereka berdua. Sampe sini dah paham? Ok.

Just imagine yourself making a machine to break the unbreakable machine called Enigma; how you build the trust between your team and the gasps when your machine is really breaking the Enigma. That thrilling sensation and remarkable dialogues.

Alurnya rada muter-muter so please prepare yourself for little confusion.

2. The Grand Budapest Hotel

“Rudeness is merely the expression of fear. People fear they won't get what they want. The most dreadful and unattractive person only needs to be loved and they will open up like a flower.“

IMDb: 8.1/10 // Rotten Tomatoes: 91%

Jika kalian mencari ketenangan batin melalui keindahan visual dan jalan cerita yang ga terlalu berat, makan tontonlah filem Wes Anderson. Really. Suwer. I’ve watched some of his works but this one is my favourite.

Starring Voldemort Ralph Fiennes as Mr. Gustave and Toni Revolori as Lobby Boy. Alurnya mundur, menceritakan masa kejayaan hotel ini dan yang terjadi pada saat itu. Ceritanya tertata rapi dan bener-bener enak buat ditonton. Ga ada alasan khusus buat suka film ini kecuali visually pleasing and simple story.

3. Black Swan

“Perfection is not just about control, it's also about letting go.”

IMDb: 8/10 // Rotten Tomatoes: 85%

Genre thriller tapi dikemas dengan sangat indah alias cantik banget. A story about Nina (Natalie Portman)—the fragile girl who trying to portray both withe and black swan. She can do the white swan perfectly, but black swan is different. She need to letting go and loose the perfection within herself.

4. Never Let Me Go

“It had never occurred to me that our lives, which had been so closely interwoven, could unravel with such speed. If I'd known, maybe I'd have kept tighter hold of them and not let unseen tides pull us apart.”

IMDb: 7.1/10 // Rotten Tomatoes: 70%

Filem sedih favorit gue. So far. Trigger warning for those who have anxiety and thanatophobia (fear of death), perhaps?

Scoring-nya bagus banget. Bener-bener tipikal filem sedih yang akan gue suka sepanjang masa. Filem ini ga bikin gue nangis. Ga setitikpun. Namun berhasil bikin gue nyesek di dada dan bengong setelah nonton sambil bilang “hah? anjir?” dalam konteks kesedihan (?). Berasa langsung bolong ada yang hilang. ‘Cuma’ dapet rating 7 di IMDb dan RT.

Agak sedih because I think they deserves higher rate? Yaudah gapapa. Yang menilai jauuuuh lebih mumpuni daripada eug.

5. Midnight in Paris

“I believe that love that is true and real, creates a respite from death. All cowardice comes from not loving, or not loving well, which is the same thing. And then the man who is brave and true looks death squarely in the face, like some rhino-hunters I know, or Belmonte, who is truly brave. It is because they make love with sufficient passion, to push death out of their minds, until it returns, as it does, to all men. And then you must make really good love again.”

IMDb: 7.7/10 // Rotten Tomatoes: 93%

Filem ini ga bisa ditonton buru-buru. Apalagi buat lo yang suka skip filem. Emang banyak scene yang diem doang ga ada dialog, gue ngerti kalo lo bakal bosen. Yet please, I beg you to not skip any single second in this film because the musics in Midnight in Paris can make you feel like you’re really in Paris.

6. Gone Girl

“I'm the cunt you married. The only time you liked yourself was when you were trying to be someone this cunt might like. I'm not a quitter, I'm that cunt. I killed for you; who else can say that? You think you'd be happy with a nice Midwestern girl? No way, baby! I'm it”. (not really a ‘cool quotes’ but it’s from one of my favourite scenes).

IMDb: 8.1/10 // Rotten Tomatoes: 87%

Main kejar-kejaran dan petak umpet di level yang berbeda. You will find Rosamund Pike’s voice is so magnetic to hear. Kalo gue review filem ini gue kayaknya harus pake template selebgram review makanan:

“Ga ngerti lagi sebagus itu!” “Gila woy kalian harus coba!” “Rasanya mau meninggal!”

7. The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“This one moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you're listening to that song and that drive with the people you love most in this world. And in this moment I swear, we are infinite.”

IMDb: 8/10 // Rotten Tomatoes: 86%

Bener-bener bikin kangen masa SMA! Soundtrack-nya enak dan memorable. It can show you both bright and blue feelings. Terlebih lagi karena tokoh di filem ini mengidap PTSD. It shows you how Charlie (Logan Lerman) cope with his mental illness (I guess... (?)).

8. The Danish Girl

“I can feel myself getting better when I listen to your pencil. You've always sketched me better than I was. But what you draw, I become. You made me beautiful. And now you're making me strong. Such power in you.”

IMDb: 7.1/10 // Rotten Tomatoes: 67%

Kisah nyata juga nih. Menceritakan tentang Einar Wegener yang diperankan oleh om Eddie Redmayne dan Istrinya, Gerda Wegener, yang diperankan oleh mba Alicia Vikander. Gila ga tuh?! Anw, per tanggal posting ini, filem The Danish Girl menjadi trending karena ada yang merekomendasikan di TikTok. Sekadar curhat personal, rasanya pengen teriak, “Lo kemana aja woy?!11??” it’s hella five years since it’s official release date. Tapi yaudah lah nanti w disangka sok superior lagi huhu.

Filem sedih banget (ga sampe bikin nangis sih) dan penuh dilema. Lo diajak buat ngerasain gimana sedihnya Gerda dan pencarian jati diri Einar. Scoring dan sinematografinya cakep banget. Again rasanya gue pengen naikin rating IMDb dan RT :”)

#the imitation game #the grand budapest hotel #black swan #never let me go #midnight in paris #gone girl #the perks of being a wallflower #the danish girl

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gainerboystories · 4 years

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Farm hands forced weight gain

A small town in North Carolina we see Jack a slim 18 year old that is looking for work, hes only slim no muscle or fat, a blank slate you can say. The town is very small with only a population of around 50 people, the town has only a few places to work most people resorting to working on farms. So jack accepts his fate, as much as he doesnt like the idea, and jumps in his truck to the nearest farm that he knows will hire him.

After driving about 7 miles, Jake arives at 'David's Ranch' as Jack reads on the wooden sign. He dives through the enterance and down the long dirt road with feilds spread across both sides, the right pigs and left cows blocked of with a long wooden fence from the enterance down about half a mile. After the feilds they is a large dirt area, straight infrount of the road is a small cabin, to the right is a large white and red barn and the left is a area holding all the farm equipment and a large truck with hay bales in the back.

Jack pulls in front of the small cabin and starts to get out of his truck, and walks up to the cabin, the cabin has a little raised deck just before the mesh door with the main doordoor open on the inside. He does a little knock on the wood near the door at first but nobody answers, then one a little lowder. Through the mesh Jack sees a large towering figure coming around the corner at the back of the cabin, walking quickly towards the door. The man unlocks and opens the mesh door and speaks in a raspy tone, "Hello?", Jack looking up at the incredibly tall man exsames him, hes shirtless, huge muscles covered with a thick fur of hair, giant feet and hands, and at least 7 foot tall. "I said hello...", Jack looks back up at him and says worryingly, "urm hello, i was wondering if you was in the need of a farm hand?". The man looks Jack up and down like Jack did to him. "Little small for a farm hand, are you sure", Jack replied "yes ive been doing manual labour most my life". The man pauses, then reponds "so if you wanna work on this farm its gonna be long hours, sometimes 12 hours", jack reluctantly agrees. The man holds out his hand for a shake and says, "im David", jack lifts his arm and places his tiny hand in David's palm, "im Jack".

"Come in Jack i can talk to you about work".

They enter an Jack is hit by a smell of Davids Bo, whats the point of wearing deoderant when your alone in the middle if nowhere. The cabin is small a living area to the right as you walk in, a small kitchen in the back right corner behind a large brormwn leather recliner, which David sts his large body into. To the left is two doors, one to a bedroom and the other a toilet. "You wanna sit down boy?", David pounts to the other Brown recliner in the corner of the room, Jack then sits his small body into the chair, he doesn't fill even half of the chair. "So boy heres what needs doing, the cows need milking, the pigs need weighing, rhe chickens need the eggs collected, the equipment needs cleaning, and then we need to place haybales in the feilds and then we should be done, its 10am now we should be done abround 8pm, you ready?", Jack not knowing if he will survive the dah nods, "dont look sceared boy, you wanted to be my farm hand, come on we can do it together... dont worry one day you'll the the same size as me", Jack looks at the big burly shirtless man and thinks of what hell look like with all that muscle, a dream he thought.

"Done" david shouted, its been hours and they are both exhausted, under the now setting sun, jack and David start to walk back to the Cabin. Jack now shurtless due to him sweating like crazy, says "i guess i better be heading home", "what?" David responds "you thinks you can drive home like that youll pass out before you get to the end of the road to the enterance, you can stay here tonight, ill make dinner". Jack to exhausted to argue renters the cabin and suts in the recliner he sat in when he first entered the cabin, "do you have a shower?" Jack asked, "haha nope" david took a pause "to expensive plus if i wanna be clean i use the hose pipe outside". Jack falls asleep while David is sleeping.

David cooks for about an hour or so, then wakes up Jack. "Hey boy, you ready to live like a real man on the farm?" Jack still waking up nods, David continues "so you wanna look like a farmer too", jack nods again. David then makes a drink for jack and pours in some white powder out of a black tub, "this will help with that" David said quietly, he drings the food and drink to Jack "eat up Jack you hav a big day tomorrow".

Finished his meal jack asks "where do i sleep?", "eather in here or in my bed, if you csn fit". Jack just wanting to sleep in a nice soft bed asks " can i sleep in the bed" David says "of course, where farmer together now" . Jack and David walk to the bedroom, its simple just a bed some photos, david unbuckles his belt and pulls down his jeans showing of his white underwear, stained and showing a huge bulge, Jack then dose the same and they get in bed, jack falls asleep instantly.

In the morning Jack wakes, his belly a little bigger due to the large meal and spesial drink David gave him, but not rally hurting his thin fram.

After many months, the days murge into the same and Jack ends up moving into the cabin. His body now changed, every day his meals getting larger to adjust to his growing body. Now almost a year after meeting David he looks like the average farmer, 300lbs of a mix of fat and muscle, a big beer belly, is now what he looks like.

The day ends, David and Jack are about to do their dayly ritual of making as much food as posible and eating it, Jack eating more of course, then washing it all down with a crate of beer. After Jacks second can he feels tired and passes out in his chair, the last thing he sees is Davids evil smile.

He a wakes in the barn that he has worked in all this time tied to the back wall, the door is open a crack but the rest of the barn is black. After a while the figuree if a man apears at the door its David. "Hey boy, youll be a man soon, awww are you wondering why your tied here and gaged with that funnle, well im gonna faten you up and turn you into a food obsessed pig. Ive always wanted this, in a few years youll be massive and want to worship me." David pours gainer shake after gainer shake into the funnle. After weeks of this Jack has already gained 50lbs now at 350lbs. David then trusts Jacl to take the gag off and untie him. "What do you want to do boy?" Jack responds in a drone type voice "eat sir, eat and worship you sir", "good boy, now eat this 3 layer cake while i jerk off to you been a pig, David places a huge 3 layer cake on the floor and Jack drags his now huge boy to it and eats it all up.

After months his body grows 400lbs in a month 500lbs in 3 months and then 1000lbs in a year. At the year mark Jack is just a large ball of fat sat on hay in the barn been fed endlessly byby his new master. In these months many other farm hands have joined the farm and come to the sane predicament as Jack, locked away in the barn watch eachother grow and become more submisive begging their master to let them suck his cock, but he never does just teases them, its a mix of heaven and hell for the boys, and constant heaven for David.

If you want to request a story DM me. Or comment on my posts.

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montyprescottjoy · 4 years

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Para: Sunflower (title from the song of the same name by Post Malone HERE)

Who: Vitya Cristo & Monty Prescott @vityacristo

When: July 7th, 2020

Where: Vitya’s apartment, The Flame

What: Vitya goes to work for the first time since his health scare, leaving Monty alone in his bed... but Monty follows him and doesn’t like what he sees... fighting ensues...

Triggers: General mental health; seeing inside the mind of a mentally ill person. Prostitution and brief explicit sexual acts.

Vitya

Vitya had never moved so quietly in his life. He opened his dresser drawers inch by inch, extracting what he needed, then slowly closing them again. Instead of getting dressed in his bedroom, he opted for his bathroom. It was taking nearly four times as long to get dressed, all in the effort to ensure the man sleeping in his bed didn't wake.

Monty was visiting. Again. He was a constant now. A more accurate description was he practically lived in Vitya's dorm, at this point. For weeks, Vitya loved it. The sex, the company, all of it. But, reality is a bitch, and Vitya was handed the leash. He was out of cash, entirely. He had not worked in weeks, and he needed money, soon. And he was not about to ask Monty. No, he already took too much from the other man. So, he opted to slink around his own dorm, putting on his 'work clothes.' Skin tight, torn jeans, a shirt made out of mesh, a leather jacket, and his boots. Straightened his hair, patted his face with a foundation, smudged his eye-liner, everything to announce he was available. A classic escort fuckboy.

Looking at himself in the mirror this time felt... wrong. Previous times he felt powerful, invincible. Now, he felt gross. His eyes turned to Monty, still asleep. He tiptoed over, and leaned down, moving some of his hair out of his face. He smiled softly. He looked so peaceful like this, no stress on his face, no worry. No hurt. Just him, as he was. It made butterflies dance in Vitya's stomach. He placed a soft kiss to Monty's temple before heading toward the door, and off into the chill, dark night.

Monty

Monty stirred at the sound of a door closing, his brow furrowing automatically at the unexpected sound. He sat up quickly, eyes scanning for Vitya until he realized it had been the front door and that Vitya had left. Hurt and confusion tumbled into his mind. Why was Vitya sneaking out of his own room without saying anything. Monty staggered out of the bed trying to see if Vit had left a note or sent him a text. There was nothing to indicate why he'd left.

Panic shot through Monty, had something happened? Something to do with his illness or his family he'd tried so hard to escape? But it didn't seem logical for Vitya to leave Monty in those scenarios, though Vitya was still incredibly private and independent so it could be a possibility. Monty grabbed his phone and pulled on his pants and jacket as he stumbled around the dorm calling Vitya's phone. "Fuck sake" he swore loudly, when the other boy didn't pick up.

Monty took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing mind and think clearly where Vitya could be. He pulled a cigarette out of the packet on the beside table and lit it up, heading out of the dorm and in the direction of the bar Vitya frequented. The little store on campus was closed at this time of night and they had plenty of alcohol and smokes and food so this was the only place he could think of that Vitya would go.

It made sense in his own head that Vitya had left, whatever this was between them had scared Monty awake several times so he was thinking it had probably happened to Vitya too, he'd just never caught it until now, or it had never been bad enough he'd had to leave before. Either way Monty was going to find him and bring him home where he was safe.

Once he arrived at the club Monty headed directly to the bar, opening his cellphone up with a picture of Vitya pulling faces wearing a sexy as all fuck outfit to show the bar tender, to ask if he'd seen the boy in question. He had less provocative photos but those seemed even more intimate than a half naked Vitya and that was something he didn't like to share. An enthusiastic nod was given in reply to Monty's question and his eyes followed the mans pointed finger to the edge of the dance floor where he spotted Vitya, not alone but instead with a middle aged business man who was trying to touch Vitya who seemed to be teasing and whispering in his ear. Monty felt like he was going to throw up the way Vitya was moving. Monty remembered those moves. Vitya was trying to pick up a client. Monty was frozen to the spot, unable to move or speak or think.

Vitya

To say the pounding bass of the club, the rhythmic pulses of the speakers, the sweat and vibrant lights were a welcome sight would be an understatement. Vitya thrived here, within these walls. It was so easy to forget where he was, where he came from, and what he was doing, surrounded by strangers. He saw no regulars in the crowd- Good. No regular needed to know he was back on the street. Like a minx, he scanned the crowd, and began his work. He'd gel into the crowd, dancing to the music, and then scan the faces of who was there. Who was watching him. Then, he'd walk over, slowly, and begin his tease. This time, a fish out of water had his eyes locked on Vitya's hips. A business man, suit and tie and slick-back hair, was practically watering at how he moved. Bingo.

Vitya slid over, taking the man's drink front his hand and sipping softly before putting it back. "A bit-eh, overdressed, dah?" Vitya said, laying the accent on heavy and thick. This made the john's eyes light up, and just like that Vitya had his first client of the night. Like a staving beast pounding, the man had his hand on Vitya's hip, and it took every fiber in is being not to recoil. He needed to do this, he needed to survive. He pressed on.

The man's hand kept sliding up into his jacket's sleeve as they talked, nothing of note being said. That didn't stop how badly this guy wanted to see Vitya with less clothes on, point out how pretty his mouth was; this was a blowjob, then. Easy enough. Vitya let him slowly work the jacket off, Vitya leaning up to his ear. "You 'ave cash, dah?" he asked, Vitya's own hand starting to slide on the man's pant-leg. The man was new to this, unceremoniously reaching in his pocket and revealing wads of cash.

Without ceremony, Vitya grabbed the man's tie and walked him towards a back hallway, to the small exit toward the alleyway. The look on his face, as his back was now turned from the client, was one of sad regret. These were the moments when freedom tasted bitter.

Monty

Monty's face was clouded with disgust as he watched the middle aged man look at Vitya, talk to Vitya, touch Vitya. The fact the man was old enough to be Vitya's father, maybe even grandfather, didn't help either. It made his stomach turn in disgust that this man would dare touch someone so precious, so deserving of so much better; better than him, better than Monty too. But for some reason Vitya had allowed Monty to stick around and in some ways to take care of him, just a little.

Monty's fists clenched when the John pulled out a fat handful of cash. All he wanted to do in that moment was beat the guy black and blue. The guy was lucky Monty didn't have his gun really, though he could certainly do just as much damage with his fists or the switchblade stuffed into his boot.

Then Vitya was pulling the man across the room and out of a back door and Monty had to shake himself to unfreeze his limbs and stealthily follow them. He didn't want to watch whatever was about to happen, but he couldn't let Vitya go alone. He didn't want Vitya to get hurt just as much as he didn't want it to happen at all. He would protect Vitya at all costs which he'd been trying to do by paying for as many of the things they needed but it seemed Vitya was desperate for cash for some reason. Why couldn't he just ask Monty for whatever it was?

Eventually Vitya and the John stopped in the alleyway and Monty had to force himself to stay in the shadows as he fought himself. Maybe Vitya was just picking up some drugs or trading information Monty tried to placate himself but it was stupid, he knew what this was, he'd been on the receiving end far too many times and that in it's self made him feel sick. He'd done this, he'd payed this beautiful man for his mouth and his ass. Monty was disgusted at himself.

"Vitya! No!" Monty tried to call out to stop him but it came out barely more than a whisper as his eyes burned.

Vitya

Once out the door, the man in the suit was all aflutter. Vitya had to put his mask on, pretend he was attracted to this man, just for a little while longer. "W-well, do I pay you before-"

"Yes."

"Oh, um, here. You can count it-" Vitya didn't bother counting. He took the money and slowly slid it into his belt-line, making a show of it for the client. He smirked, his free hand pushing the man against the brink wall of the alleyway.

"Relax. You're in good hands," Vitya cooed, inching himself onto his knees, not breaking eye contact with the client.

The next few minutes, Vitya refused to focus too much on. He slid the belt off, pulled the cock out, and did was he was paid to do. The client tried to tug at his hair, but Vitya stopped him; Only Monty gets to do that. The businessman, instead, was stiff as a board, enjoying himself, but so unsure if he should have done this. Vitya knew this type. The man's hips started to buck, so he simply let his jaw hang lax as his mouth was fucked.

With Vitya being little more than a warm hole at this point, he let his mind wander. Despite being nowhere near his size, Vitya let himself pretend who was on the other end. It made the stinging in his head hurt a lot less, imaging Monty was the one using him like this. It was a hollow attempt; this lame john was simply too lax, too boring, each movement making Vitya wish he had never come out here in the first place...

Monty Monty's eyes fell shut despite how hard he tried to stay focused but it was like his mind was protecting him as money exchanged hands. Why was this making him so angry? he had no reason to feel like this. Vitya didn't belong to him, they weren't a couple or whatever the fuck Schuyler would call it. They were just two broken people who stuck together because they understood each other's pain, but Monty's mind didn't seem to be understanding that. His heart was thundering against his ribs and possessive anger was rising when he saw the John try to slide his hands into Vitya's hair.

"NO!" Monty yelled out, his feet propelling him forward and his right arm pulling back ready to punch the John in the jaw and knock him way from Vitya. The John looked terrified of Monty as anyone in their right mind would at the look on his face. His eyes were dark and teeth bared as he leaned in for the hit, sending the man staggering back.

Vitya

To say Vitya was surprised would be an understatement. To say the john was afraid would be, as well. Vitya was frozen when Monty came out of nowhere, catching Vitya in the act. Monty had seen- who knows how much, enough to know that this man's cock was four inches deep in his mouth. It was when The john staggered backwards that Vitya was brought back to reality, standing back up from the dirty concrete. "Hey! What the fuck-"

"What is- who are- I don't want any trouble! Please, please don't tell my wife!" The John whimpered, Vitya rolling his eyes and shoving him further down the alley way.

"He wasn't sent by your wife. Get out of here," Vitya snapped, dropping the heavy accent. The john looked between Monty's furious face and Vitya a few times before Vitya reached out again, grabbed his suit jacket and tossed him towards the end. "I said get the fuck out of here!"

As the man ran away, scared to death, Vitya turned his back to Monty, wiping away the excess spit and drool from his mouth, spitting onto the concrete to get the man's taste out. He laughed, cold and vicious, his leg bouncing quickly as his anxiety started to build. The light above them flickered every few seconds, the alley going from amber yellow to pitch black. The thundering bass from the club could still be heard through the walls.

"You better have a good fucking reason for that, Prescott." he snapped, spitting once more. "I was working, he was nearly done anyway. Now he's probably called the cops or some shit..."

Monty

Monty growled low in his throat when the John didn't move fast enough and every time Vitya touched the man again sent a spark of anger through him even if the touches were to get the man away from them. His anger was uncontrollable and he could barely understand it but all he knew was nobody else should be touching Vitya not ever again.

Words wouldn't come as Monty opened his mouth to try to explain his actions to Vitya. They didn't make any sense to him so how on earth could he begin to describe it to this man who sent every shred of common sense out of the window.

Monty grabbed Vitya by the neck of the flimsy tank he was wearing and pressed him up against the wall of the ally and kissed him hard and messy with sharp bites and his hands gripping Vitya in a way that was sure to leave bruises in the morning but he couldn't care less. He could taste the John on Vitya's tongue but underneath was still the taste Monty had grown so well aquatinted with and he pushed through, his need to claim won out.

Vitya

"Fucking- How did you even find me? You were sleep, I made sure of it. Damn asshole, are you spying on me? You do nothing but fuck and you think you can just come in and-"

Vitya's rant was cut short when Monty took his collar and pinned him to the wall. Vitya's eyes went wide as Monty took his mouth, gripped him so hard it hurt, making his lungs burn with shock. Vitya tried to pull away, tried to move, even punched Monty's shoulder twice, but Monty was so much stronger than him. And tasted so much better, and held him so harshly, so possessively, so... perfectly.

Vitya's resistance melted away, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he let Monty ravage him. His body was shivering in pleasure, all of his inner wants this entire night coming true as Monty clenched onto him, kissed him to harshly he was sure his lip was bleeding.

Vitya broke away when he ran out of air, placing his forehead on Monty's shoulder. His hands came up to grip the front of his shirt, his hot breath on Monty's neck. "What the fuck," he whispered, body responding to Monty's touch. "I need to... I need to work, you can't just run in like that..."

Monty

Monty ignored Vitya's rant, rolling his eyes and keeping tight hold as his kissed the smooth cool lips. It felt like coming home, it felt peaceful and calm and sure despite the anger rolling through him. It didn't take much of his strength to keep Vitya against the wall and lips connected even while he tried to fight and a small voice said this was not okay behaviour but the part of his mind that had been learning Vitya knew this was what he needed to do.

Once Vitya relaxed into the kiss Monty loosened his hold and the kiss became more passionate, as if he was trying to tell Vitya all the things he couldn't say out loud. There were so many things he wanted to say but he had no idea how to voice and that terrified him. The old Monty would have stormed away and never spoken to the person again but this was Vitya and this was some new Monty that felt things he didn't yet understand, things that were so different to the ones he'd felt for Schuyler.

Monty let Vitya break out the kiss when he could tell he was relaxed and wouldn't run away. Vitya's head on his shoulder felt nice and instinctively wrapped one of his hands around the back of the redhead and card his fingers soothingly through his hair, the other resting on the small of his back, rubbing soft circles there even though part of him felt sick to be this gentle. His mind and body were so conflicted.

"No. Ya done. No more of that shit." Monty growled. "Ya just got outta the hospital five fuckin' minuets ago. I've seen what them assholes do to ya, beat the shit outta ya, put drugs down ya throat ya have no idea what they are. I ain't lettin' that happen ever again. I got money, ya don't need ta fuckin' do this shit." Monty ground out, his voice low in Vitya's ear. "Ya not workin. Not like this."

Vitya

Vitya's body leaned into Monty's touch. His hands were so warm, and he just... understood what Vitya needed. He didn't want to be here anymore, not while he had... Fuck, whatever this was! He didn't get it, but Monty made him feel sick but amazing at the same time. Near rejoicing, yet close to vomiting. Nervous. But content.

Monty saying no made him tense up, shoving Monty back a step. "You don't get to..." Vitya ran a hand over his face. "I need to make money, I am not going to rely on you like a parasite- Why do you even want to stop me?" He laughed again, this time, his voice breaking. "You benefit from all this, yet you want me to stop?"

Vitya shook his head, rubbing at his eyes. "I get it, having a personal whore is fun and all, but I need to fucking work. I can't be your private cockhole forever. This is how we fucking met, you paying me and me fucking you, so why are you all over me now?"

Vitya leaned himself against the brick wall, crossing his arms. His eyes went from a fiery passion to a glassy, still numbness. He didn't get it. Monty had him running back and forth, between visceral emotions, chasing rage with regret, and meeting in the middle for a flare of happiness, it nearly made him break down. Feeling everything at once. Sour, then sweet. His voice was shaking, shattering, collapsing, as he tried to make sense of his own head, on top of Monty. "I don't give a fuck what happens to me, what they do to me. You shouldn't, either."

Monty

Despite being much stronger than Vitya with his thick arms and thighs and broad chest Monty staggered back when he was shoved by the taller man. These emotions were making him weak and he hated it, yet nothing could surpass the feeling he got when he could let his walls down and still feel safe. None of this made sense, and when the two were alone Monty couldn't bring himself to care but here they were in the open and it was terrifying.

"Fuckin' call it a loan then! Take what ya need then when we get this gallery shit up an' runnin' ya pay me back with fuckin' interest. Fuck I'll even do it Borgata style I ain't ran as a shylock for a minuet but fuck it ya don't wanna take my money we do it this way 'cause like hell ya gonna be doin' this shit anymore!" Monty growled, face close to Vitya's, eyebrows pulled together as he slipped on his Mafiosi mask.

Mont didn't ever have to be this way in front of Vitya. Even from that first time they'd had an easy banter that had allowed Monty to be himself, not having to put his walls up and pretend to still be the perfect Mafia son. It proved just how deep into a mess of feelings he was that he needed to do this.

"We just fuckin' had this conversation ya prick! When the fuck was the last time I paid for ya ass, huh? Try an' tell me ya remember because a few fuckin' days ago ya couldn't an' I can't either! I don't know what any of this shit is but I know for a fact we fuck 'cause we want to an' I'm not sendin ya ass back out here ta be fucked by some old perv who's gonna kill ya!"

Monty's face was screwed up into an expression that wasn't so much terrifying because it looked like he would hurt you but terrifying because it looked like something out of a horror movie. He was so enraged he was no longer handsome or sexy, he was animalistic. "You might not give a fuck about ya’self but someone has to an' that's me!" He yelled, not caring who'd hear him.

Vitya

Vitya groaned, rolling his eyes and locking his jaw. Monty was... off. This was like when he came to his dorm, near breakdown over Schuyler; open, vulnerable, revealing more than just a want or need for his body. Monty was trying to connect here, appeal to Vitya's emotions. It made his heart race, so unsure if he could even try to talk anymore.

He let Monty yell at him, and like a child, he looked down at the floor, kicking at the concrete with the toe of his boot. He licked his lips, his leg bouncing; this was too much. Vitya heard conversations like this, in melodramas and soap operas. His breathing got quicker, his face turning from angry to nervous. Monty was being so vicious and raw with his words, and the fact was Vitya was crumbling hearing them. His skin itched with discomfort. The reality was, the entire time he was out tonight, he felt disgusting. Like he needed a shower, like his chest would implode on himself. Every waking moment, he was hoping it was Monty on the other side of his advances. And now, he's there, saying things that he never thought he'd hear.

Vitya's face lifted up again as Monty's face twisted to an enraged passion. Vitya's jaw dropped a moment, only to close and twist into a sad smile, his own mask grumbling to pieces. A deep-rooted sadness and self-hatred were laced in the smile, body shaking with how much he was trying to keep his emotions in check, not wanting to explode more than he did. "What the fuck...' he tried to say, his voice broken. "Don't, don't..." He placed a hand on Monty's shoulder, gripping his shirt with a desperate hold.

"I-I'm not worth all that. It's fun, it is, I have not had this much fun with someone, at all, since meeting you. I didn't want to be out here, but I need to. Now you're here, and I..." He shook his head, unable to find the courage to go any deeper, express any more emotion. It hurt, it hurt too much. Instead, his face twisted in anger, lashing out. "I don't understand this. I don't understand you! I'm not special, I'm just a whore- I know that's why you kept coming over, I know it's because I look like the other redhead, so why do you care if I'm out here? Aren't I just part of your fantasy?"

Monty

The feel of Vitya’s hand on his shoulder broke Monty’s mafiosi mask when that sad smile twisted Vitya’s handsome face. It caused a pain to shoot through his chest that he couldn’t understand but made him give in to an unexpected need to pull Vitya close and hold him tight to his chest, burrowing into his neck and inhaling the familiar scent he’d become so used to being surrounded by.

“Fuck that I’m not worth it bullshit man. Ya know who’s nit worth shit? Montgomery Prescott, son of a psychopath Don from St Louie who treats his family like shit for any chance to gain even the smallest spec of power. But fuck Montgomery cause Monty can do what the fuck he wants an’ got the hell out just like you for fuck sake we’re the same man came from a place that treated us like shit to get the chance to fuckin’ be more than the clone of our fathers!” He whispered hotly to Vitya, lips moving against the shell of his ear.

A growl of anger left Monty’s chest at the mention of Schuyler and he pulled back from Vitya, running his hands through his hair and turning on the spot beginning to pace. “So fucking what just cause ya got red hair it makes ya some stand in for him? Ya completely fuckin’ different ta him. I don’t want him! He scared the shit outta me but you- it’s...” Monty trailed off not knowing how to express the mess inside his mind.

Vitya

Vitya tried to resist Monty's embrace at first, not wanting to held in that moment, but his hold was too wrong. He sighed, and leaned in, his own hands gripping Monty's shift, not wanting to let go, but giving the other man enough room to pull himself away. It felt so good, like a warm blanket on a cold night. Vitya choked down his own breathing, unable to truly contradict Monty. He was right, they were alike. In that way, there was common ground, a place to start from every time.

Vitya breathed in at Monty's pacing, adrenaline pumping through him. He was successful again, pushing someone's buttons to discomfort. But instead of feeling accomplished, powerful, at doing it again, he felt guilty. He brought up Monty's skeletons in the closet, just to get him to back off, to get an upper hand when he didn't know what else to do. He still didn't, he was drowning and gasping for some way out of this tsunami, and had no other way to react.

"No! No, don't you start that. You better fucking stop that, right now." Vitya snapped, pointing at Monty's chest. "You know damn well this isn't anything like that." He shook his head, starting to walk down the alley, but the pivoted back around. "You were about to say something there. 'He scared the shit out of me but you-'... I what? I'm different? He is your ex, you fell for him, and got burned. It fucked you up, and now you come at me. I know what this was supposed to be. I'm him, I'm 'the other Schuyler' for you. That what this is!"

His fingers were in his hair, gripping, trying his best to not fall apart. "I just... I want to go home. I..." He looked down at himself, taking the money out of his belt-line and waving it in the air. "I got what I wanted. And you got what you wanted, fucked up my night."

Monty

Monty felt numb and cold as though a bucket of ice water had been dumped over his head. Vitya had ever been like this with him but then he remembered their talk after he’d hurt the Clarington kid. Vitya had lashed out because the kid got under his skin. Was he doing that? Was whatever this was hurting Vitya?

Monty back tracked, trying to swallow down words and feelings but right now that seemed like an impossible task.

“Shut the fuck up I ain’t sayin that we agreed we’d never do that again your the one who made me promise not ta do that ya myself again so I know ya fuckin’ lyin’ if ya don’t give a shit about me protecting myself so here I am tellin’ ya ta protect your self.” Monty grabbed the hand pointing at his chest.

“You ain’t him because us givin’ a shit about each other an fuckin’ doesn’t hurt me, it don’t make me wanna run!” He yelled, trying to explain any of the millions of thoughts spinning through his mind.

“I just want ya safe fuckin’ damnit! What’s fuckin’ wrong with a loan huh?” His eyes were begging and pleading but his voice was hard and determined.

Monty reaches up and pulled Vitya’s hands from his hair where it looked like he was trying to pull out chunks. He held those long soft hands tightly, terrified the man would slip away and with it he’d take Monty’s soul.

Vitya’s voice sounded uncharacteristically stuttered the way he wasn’t quite finishing his sentences. Monty grabbed the money and shoved it into Vitya’s boot where he knew it would be safe and took his hands again.

“Ya wanna go home let’s fuckin’ go.” He said softly, trying to resist kissing him again. He didn’t really know how to comfort people, with Vitya they used their bodies to communicate a lot of the time but in this moment that didn’t feel like the right thing to do.

Vitya

Vitya was shaking with internal rage at himself, his heart racing as they continued this shouting match, this fight, what ever this was. Monty was under his skin, crawled in deep, making him feel joy and happiness, just by being around him, but confined at the same time. He tried to shove it all away, as if he wasn't feeling anything at all, the dominating numbness that had followed him his whole life, but instead he was flaring, fuming with a passion he never had before.

He was scared to death.

"Do not say it like that!" Vitya bit, baring his teeth. "This isn't anything! It's convenient, it's available, it's... anything but caring. I can't care, I fucking can't!" It sounded less like he was yelling at Monty, but more at himself. His internal struggle was letting loose, a indiscriminate spray of his inner demons. His leg was bouncing again, but he didn't fight back as Monty took his hands out of his hair.

"I didn't earn it, that's what! You loaning me money, paying for all of my shit- It is no different than back home! Just a pampered, sniveling prince with no real achievements, no real drive, doing nothing but whimper and die- I need to earn it, and you coming out here and-" Vitya motioned to the money now shoved into his boot. "And ruining the only damn thing I am good at-"

Vitya gripped Monty's hold, a vibrant flame in his eyes. "I fucking hate how good I am at all of this. At being able to read people, at playing The Game, at politicking, manipulating- That guy would have never cheated on his wife if I didn't convince him that he needed more than just watching me dance. And you... You're no different. I'm probably manipulating you, too."

Vitya tore his hands away from Monty, staring at him a moment before turning on his heel, starting his trek out of the alleyway. "Follow me or don't, I don't give a fuck... I'm going home."

Monty

"Then why the fuck did y make me promise not ta fall in love again then huh? Why would ya say that ta someone ya didn't care about, care that they were hurtin'? My brother's the only one who's ever tried ta protect me from ma self 'cause he's the only one who's given a shit!" Monty shouted back, he really had no idea why he was so adamant about this; maybe he wanted proof Vitya cared for him even if it was just friends with benefits, but maybe it was because he wanted Vitya to believe someone cared about him because it seemed like he didn't believe Monty cared.

"Aye! It is different 'cause we're gonna set up the gallery thing and sell ya stuff an' ya payin' me back with interest, an' I'll treat it just like any other mark that owes me, if ya don't pay on time I call in the enforcers. Ya never saw me runnin' for the mob but I can show ya that side an' I can tell ya it ain't pretty." Monty ground out, "This gallery thing is gonna make ya enough ta pay me an' get ya’self set up then ya can do whatever the hell ya want with ya fancy degree an' I sure as shit ain't lettin' ya sit by like a pillow princess doin' fuck all. Ya gonna work this con an' I'm gonna watch ya play these folks outta there money, yeah it's a game talkin' it up but ya art shit is fuckin' good man, ya deserve ta fuckin' sell it 'cause ya did work hard! It just so happens this shit is hard ta break into so ya have ta be a socialite asshole ta get ya’self in on the ground floor." Monty spoke fast, shaking Vitya's shoulders trying to force the words into the taller mans brain in place of all of the negativity about himself he'd clearly been brain washed into for years.

Monty couldn't believe how many words were flying out of his mouth. He usually only spoke so much when he was talking about his research and experiments in science which was his true passion. It was as if he wanted to leave no silence where Vitya could find space to think those demeaning things about himself.

Monty

"If ya had no drive, just wantin' ta curl up an' die why the fuck would ya have left that place with ya cushy life, ya could have just walked away ta some shit hole an' put a gun ta ya head, I'm sure there were plenty shit-holes in Russia where ya couldda froze or starved or been murdered, didn't have ta come all this way for that!" Monty argued, trying to prove there must have been some instinct in Vitya that wanted to live and be more.

"Ya ain't manipulatin' me, I ain't someone who falls for that shit, been through too much to fall for anythin'. I'm the one who does the manipulatin' or ain't ya seen me an' him at all? Ya know why he hates me don't ya?" Monty laughed bitterly, not offering any more information on his relationship with Schuyler, just enough to show he wasn't a push over.

"Don't be an idiot of course I'm followin' I just told ya I was comin' didn't I?" Monty sighed, rolling his eyes and taking quick steps to catch up with Vitya's long strides. He grabbed one of Vitya's hands, letting the pad of his own thumb draw soothing circles on the others hand.

Vitya

"I don't know!" Vitya yelled back. "I don't know why! I don't know why I do anything anymore, my fucking head starts to hurt when I think of you, and I don't know why!" Vitya ground out the last few words with gritted teeth. "I don't know what I think anymore, it's all too jumbled up and messed up and confusing- I can't focus half the time because you're in here-" Vitya points at his temple. "-fucking ruining everything, making a confusing fucking mess, making everything hurt, and I want you out!"

He breathed in, out of breath, as well as realizing what exactly just came out of his mouth. He stopped himself from yelling, all the wind in his sails depleting, his face falling into a gaze of collapsing despair. He steeled himself, opting to pretend nothing came out. He didn't even react beyond, gripping Monty's arms to get him to stop shaking him as he went on and on about this con, this way to get Vitya's art out there, to be successful. He was so done with arguing, his steam out, the fire in him dimmed. All at once, his lack of sleep, his exhaustion of the night, and his terrible attitude collapsed all at once on him. That's what he was running from this time, then. Monty was just in his head, all the time, and Vitya had no idea what to do with him. And, as always, he lashed out. Trying to get rid of him. And, somehow, Monty was still there. Resilient and constant.

Vitya stopped walking when Monty took his hand. His gaze snapped to it, staring, then back to Monty's face. He didn't say anything, his jaw locking shut, holding in the bitchy, rude comment on the tip of his tongue. He was tense, as if he was about to hit Monty to get him to let go, but instead, he turned his gaze back to the side walk. Instead of saying anything, he opted to gripping Monty's hand the slightest bit. Not to say he wanted to hold it; every fiber in his being told him to let go. But more to show that he was listening. He heard everything Monty said, and simply lost all energy to fight it. There was no more fight to have because Monty had been through all of this himself. He'd seen the worst the world has to offer, including Vitya, and yet... he was here.

Vitya let out a shaking breath, one he had been holding, as he started to walk again, this time slowly, casually. Carefully. "...I just want my head to stop talking. That's all."

Monty

"Just fuckin' chill al'ight" Monty responded softly. They both seemed to have run out of steam on the argument. It was like Vitya's mind had jumped from fighting about caring to fighting with his own mind and that had Monty worried. He couldn't bring himself to yell anymore when Vitya was clearly hurting; it was like the taller man had become a shadow of himself as the fight left his features and fuck Monty wanted to hold him so badly, wanted to hold him until the pain was gone.

Monty jerked when Vitya stopped suddenly but allowed Vit to look between their clasped hands and Mont's face. "We'll make it stop, I'll make it stop." He couldn't read the expression on the handsome face but it seemed so incredibly pained and that was enough to let Monty know that right now nothing more needed to be said. Inevitably they would have this conversation again but right now neither of them were able to keep talking.

Instead they would return to Vitya's room hand in hand because neither had the strength to let go and be alone and they would talk with their bodies, wiping away each others memories of the other man Vitya had touched tonight and surround themselves in each other, holding tightly like a life raft that without they would float away into the darkness

#para: vitya #para #vityacristo‌

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camorrsthorn · 7 years

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Hi, I'm kinda new here, and so I mostly have just seen the art of your OCs? (Which is awesome, btw.) But I was wondering if you could give, like, a basic outline of who they are and maybe their universe? (Bc worldbuilding is ALWAYS cool.) Thanks! (And again, love your art

aaa thank you!! i have. a lot bear with me lmao but. i’m gonna put this under a cut because Oh Dang That’s Too Many

video game ocs: holy moley that’s a lot

tarris, relic, kharza gra-durza, serindil, riandil, vhesryn, saaji and zhakka are all from elder scrolls!!

tarris is a bosmer thief/assassin who’s actually real bad at fighting and is probably half magpie, don’t wear jewelery near her she will Have It

relic is a bosmer vampire who is an asshole. he’s awful. he knows magic but mostly likes to Stab. he exists in the same world-state as tarris and kharza and probably a few others

kharza is an orc warrior who’s like the only lawful good character i have, whoops. she sometimes turns into a werewolf and mauls people but that’s a minor character flaw. she’s a big gay

serindil is an altmer mage!! very very much a glass cannon. they were with the thalmor embassy in skyrim until they... sort of defected?? they’re still an ass tho

riandil is a bosmer scout!! he’s from eso so i’m not sure exactly how he fits into the world state, but he’s a big ball of sunshine. he likes very very bad puns and responding to altmer supremacy by acting real stupid until THEY look stupid. he’s great

vhesryn is a dunmer assassin but he’s also a big ol’ dick. he’s a vampire too but mostly a dick. his hobbies include being an asshole and stabbing people, also dancing

saaji is a khajiit thief and very pure good person. she;s good. she’ll steal your things but she’s good she’ll prolly give em back. really just wants a warm spot in the sun, very very tired of almer

zhakka is a redguard warrior and former pirate!! i love her. she scowls a lot and looks grumpy but she’s grinning inside just all the time. you know those people who say the most ridiculous funny shit with a totally stoic face?? that’s zhakka

spring and bishop are from fallout

spring washington is Soft. she’s a soft soft person. she likes plants and photography, but also she was her school’s boxing champion pre-war and won trophies for shooting, and likes to keep a switchblade on her at all times. met her husband when he had to drag her off some creep. she just wants to make the world a bit brighter!!

bishop is. bishop. he’s my courier and he’s??? the worst. he’s obnoxiously lucky and knows it, and very charming despite the amount of times he puts his foot directly in his mouth. he’s good at heart but also does what seems good/fun/cool at the time??? “hey bishop when is the last time you washed” “i dunno when did it last rain” “i don’t want to travel with you any more”

i have a whole lot of dragon age ocs bear with me

rasha tabris is Angry. i once described her as a wildfire in a very pretentious thing i didn’t post but it’s apt!! she stayed with the wardens because duncan was the reason she could kill vaughn, and the reason she wasn’t killed for it. she died fighting the archdemon because there was no way she was trusting some human, and died spitting and cursing

katia brosca’s main personality trait is Spite. people told her she could only be this this and this because casteless, so she did absolutely everything she could to prove them wrong. a lot of her loudness and bravado is a front to protect herself, but not all of it

hildr aeuducan’s middle name is duty. she does the job she’s got to do, and does it well. she doesn’t really Do sentiment?? and she’s never once but her own opinions over what’s best. she left behlen on the throne despite. everything

cian mahariel is Ridiculous. they spend half their time in trees despite having broken at least one bone on every part of their body falling out of them, and are Always Smiling

niketas surana lives on his nerves. his skills include flinching, stammering, going beet red if anybody looks at him for too long, and falling a little bit in love with anybody who’s nice to him. he’ll very very gladly swallow all his fear to protect people though, and repeatedly put himself between templars and scared younger mages while still in the tower. would die for jowan, frankly

vinnora lavellan is a sweetheart!! she just wants to be nice to everyone, and frankly deserves better than she got. she never wanted to be inquisitor, but figured she could at least use the position to help people who needed it, and tried to

noah shepard is my only real mass effect character worth talking about!! she’s a Delight and i love her. she’s paragon to her core, and goes out of her way to help people or offer a shoulder, but she’s absolutely not afraid to speak her mind or tell assholes to get fucked. she’s very very tired and full of guilt and regret. please let her sleep

d&d ocs!! are they ocs technically. i’m counting them i love them

dáithí lathlaeril is a half elven wild magic sorcerer and the only one i have actually played!! they’re half of a set of twins born to a high elven noblewoman and her human husband. they accidentally burned down their family library after overhearing their mother agree to essentially disinherit them, and have been an adventurer ever since. they have Lots of emotions always, and swing between “i’m inherently superior to all of you and also have cool magic” and “oh god i’m the worst i’m pathetic is my magic even good” and it’s terrible. please give them a hug. their name is pronounced DAH-hee

dáimhín lathlaeril is the other twin!! she left home to go be a bard but attracted an archfey with her singing, and wound up a warlock. still pretends to be a bard tho. she’s obnoxiously charming and knows it, and is WAY more relaxed and happy go lucky than their twin. she’s still pretty prissy tho. her name is pronounced like DAH-veen. also she’s not a girl, she’s nb!! like her twin. “finch that wouldn’t happen” haha what i can’t hear you

zeerith is a drow rogue!! he had just the worst life but is So Good at pretending he didn’t. what do you mean he’s almost certainly traumatised and emotionally messed up, he’s smiling, see?? trust him. he really really hates killing and would much rather talk his way out of trouble, but isn’t at all above hurting people to defend people?? also he’s very handsome and charming, focus on that. no don’t ask him if he’s ok. very very prone to talking someone to death if given half a chance

most of my actually original characters are from the same world!! it’s tag is “untitled a” because i don’t have a name for it yet lmao. there’s also a bunch of gods to go with these guys but i don’t even have names for them yet so lmao

fionn is prolly currently my most developed character from it. he’s an elf, which is fairly rare, and a magic user, which is rarer. he doesn’t care tho. he’s an ex-soldier who deserted after some very bad stuff happened, and he’s just trying to keep his head down. the god of luck and fate took a shine to him tho, so that’s not going too well. he uses his magic to make people think he’s much better at playing music than he is, but he could do Very cool things. he won’t tho

sabre is also an elf, but she’s a thief and very happy about it. she’s tiny and literally always ready to fight. she’ll fight anyone. she’ll Win against anyone. don’t fight sabre she jut doesn’t stop. she’s got a pretty strict Code tho, and won’t steal from anyone who can’t afford it, or fight anyone who can’t fight back. technically steals to give to the poor but also keeps a lot. she worked for that ill gotten gold!! she’s one of the two people who got “chosen” by the twin gods of the hunt, which she’s pretty stoked about. she’s got a tattoo honoring one of the twins

zarifa is the captain of an as-yet unnamed ship, and a totally legitimate merchant sailor. no pirates here absolutely not haha what’s that officer nope no illegitimate goods either, trust her. she’s got a good heart but also she’s pretty practical, and ensuring her own survival and the survival of her crew trumps morals every time. she’s the “chosen” of the god of the sea, which is an incredibly mixed bag

sylvie pike is zarifa’s first mate, but not nearly as professional. she likes to have fun, and insists on dragging zarifa with her. she’s got a much thicker accent than any other member of the crew, and makes it impenetrably thicker when she wants to be difficult. she’s not as good at overcoming her conscience as zarifa is

billie shaw is possibly my oldest current oc, holy shit. they’re kind of the odd job person aboard the ship, and also sing shanties and (badly) play the accordion. has a big big soft spot for kids. also hates shoes. what the fuck billie. put some boots on you ridiculous human being

sara tillman is possibly the only ordinary person on board the ship. she’s the ship’s doctor, despite being easily the youngest person aboard, and despite having only ever operated on her family’s farm prior to being hired. she’s got like ten siblings and loves all of them very very much

there’s also a handful of others from this universe who aren’t nearly as fleshed out yet, other than the gods, but they aren’t fleshed out!! “finch neither are any of the people you’ve talked about” [sweats]

#I AM ALMOST DEFINITELY MISSING SOMEBODY #MULTIPLE SOMEBODIES!!#oc tag #oc masterpost #heck yeah #Anonymous #ask tag

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azhaneeothman · 7 years

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Dokkaebi: The Closest Thing to Magic Anyone Could Possibly Experience

This is a personal rant, so spoilers abound.

At around 3 AM on the 22nd of January 2017, I completed Dokkaebi with one of the biggest emotional breakdowns (read: world-shattering cryfest) caused by any form of writing I had ever loved - be it a book, a play or a drama script. My whole face was covered in tears and I couldn’t even see the screen clearly anymore when Ji Eun Tak greeted Kim Shin in Quebec after being gone for at least 70 long years. I was sobbing - almost unable to breathe - into Memilgun (thank God I had the sense to cover him in a towel - he was expensive and my tears would have spoiled him) like a mad woman. I’m not exaggerating, I have no reason to. The final episode was definitely one of the most fantastically shot finales of a TV drama anyone could have ever written, and I can promise you this - I have taken everything into consideration before saying so; writing, direction, acting, cinematography, score and transitions. But then again, I would say the same thing about the previous fifteen episodes – at least for ten more years.

So yes, that marks the possible end of the roller coaster ride of extreme emotions I had never thought a drama could make me feel, and I am deeply saddened by it. No more sleepless weekends with the Dokkaebi Squad - discussing, fangirling and theorizing plot development. No more refreshing six different streaming sites every 10 seconds to watch the next episode. No more yelling, ‘Dah keluaq!!!’ in the Dokkaebi Squad group every time an episode is out. No more waiting for every week’s releases to download the OSTs. No more getting all emotional about unexpected plot twists. No more suffering 5 days like 5 months every single week. And no more misleading previews to wreck the group into smithereens of feels until the next episode airs. *sigh* This drama came into my life and brought with it so many things I am not willing to let go as it ends, even now and I really don’t know how to deal with this so I’ll just write my heart out. Basically, I trust that this whole production team must have given everything they had and traded a few really pure souls to the devil in exchange for one of the strongest line-ups of cast in the history of Korean dramas. I have to hand it to both Gong Yoo and Kim Go Eun, though. Their slow-burn chemistry is pure on-screen conflagration - so addictive, so engaging, so raw and real and thank God for their amazing abilities to deliver convincing emotions through their voices, eyes and facial expressions – your success as the Dokkaebi couple are a gift to humanity, hands down.

Let me tell you that I am a well-read person (most of my friends know this), I go for every genre I could in my reading and writing (but I do have favorites, though) so all these excessively destructive feels I am currently suffering are as legit as your very existence. You don’t have to agree with me, or even believe it but yes they are as real as you. This rant will be long and personal and very honest from my heart so if you hate the drama for any reason, I would really appreciate it if you leave now - there is nothing for you here. And if you have loved everything about Dokkaebi and are experiencing withdrawals - I am happy to invite you to stay and let’s do this together.

At a glance, if you have a bit of knowledge in literature, Dokkaebi is a TV drama that has rich poetic content and sky high standards of visual production; you don’t have to wait long to see these, they are in every frame of every episode for you to appreciate and gape at. I do that; gaping and covering my mouth and staring in awe and gaping again, LOL. Every episode is show-offish and spectacular on so many levels, every actor is perfect for their roles, the impressive score is always on point and every scene was gorgeously shot it felt like I was watching a series of 16 art films, instead of an on-going cable TV drama. The first few seconds of the first episode definitely stole every possible amount of emotional and intellectual investment I could ever offer to a literary work and hooked me to it until the last moment of episode 16. The plot is laced with light-hearted comedy and heart-wrenching drama, which are the stuff I live for so it was a heartbreakingly incredible journey, but it was worth it. And I never knew that it was possible to be so dedicated to a TV drama like that – I have only been this obsessed with books my entire life. So this was a new experience for me. It was refreshing. It felt great.

The cast and characters are a pool of polished talents, which was the major reason I went out of my mind every single week waiting for the next episodes to air. The chemistry – either slow burn or violent lightning bolts trapped in a glass bottle – were some of the best I’ve seen in any production. And the line deliveries, God, it’ll be difficult for future dramas to top the ones in Dokkaebi. Everyone went all out for this particular production – and no effort went to waste. No one fell short behind anyone in leaving a memorable performance, and no one will be forgotten. Because every moment spent watching each and every one of them, shined. However, it’s the Dokkaebi couple that made everything work for me. Both of them are in their own leagues, it was electrifying to watch them on screen together because:

Kim Shin is the dokkaebi who set hearts of women on (blue) fire. Our lonely dokkaebi used to be a highly accomplished general of Goryeo, and he has spent 900 years existing and offering miracles to people who need them. He’s ancient and wise but he bullies his Joseung Saja housemate and Deok Hwa whenever he thinks he should, he is righteous and heroic but he summons gold bars to boast about them whenever he gets drunk – he has so many dimensions to his character that are amusing to watch and I enjoy every single one of them. I’ve written a whole post about him, so I won’t be ranting much about him here. But I will say that he’s the first representation of a dokkaebi I have ever seen so I have no one to compare him to, thus he becomes the benchmark for future dokkaebis if there will be any. He is the kindest, majestic though shattered immortal soul I have ever encountered in my entire reading career - he reminds me of the person I hope to one day meet and befriend, and that’s just magical. I love that Gong Yoo embodies the lonely gentleman that is Kim Shin – his physical approaches towards Ji Eun Tak are always pure and loving, never aggressive, never possessive, never lustful – unlike some of his previous roles. Hehe. Just when I thought nothing from Gong Yoo will ever surprise me anymore after Busanhaeng, he delivered a perfectly flawed Kim Shin and took my breath away. *sigh* And I also love his smitten face in this drama, LOL. Would you look at that?

And Ji Eun Tak is the heartbeat of Kim Shin’s eternal life. She is also the heartbeat of the whole story. I admit, one of the reasons I decided to watch Dokkaebi was writer Kim Eun Sook – I love how she wrote Descendants of the Sun, and the other reason was Gong Yoo; he was incredible in Busanhaeng. But I fell in love with Ji Eun Tak first before I fell for the story and the insane force that is Kim Shin, and I couldn’t even believe it. I love that her character is so wonderfully written – she is a breath of fresh air. When I saw a nine-year-old Eun Tak in episode 1 talking to the ghost of her mother, my heart swelled at how strong she was. There was no sobfest; and instead of comforting her with loving words of departure, her mother gave her instructions because she was smart enough to get over the loss, carry them out and mourn later. She was nine, people. Nine. When I was nine, the only thing I did on my own was my homework. My mother helped me with them occasionally, too. Pft. And ten years later, she surprised me again by being able to survive in such a toxic household – mentally and physically abusive aunt, downright stupid and evil cousins, I hate all of them and the rice bowl scene will forever be ingrained in my memories as one of the most insulting things anyone could ever do to another person. You would think she would be gloomy and depressed all the time, having to live with such vile creatures and not having a single friend at school; but she looks at life so positively that it’s hard to not adore her strength. She doesn’t let these side characters bring her down and continues to dream and hope for a better future, and she strives hard for it.

I’ve come across some hate on her character and even Kim Go Eun for no real reasons apart from the fact that Ji Eun Tak is too young compared to Kim Shin (WTH?). Look people, I really can’t comprehend this – if she is played by an 80-year-old halmoni, she would still be 800 years younger than our dokkaebi so what exactly is the issue here? Nothing. There is no issue and you people are just dirty-minded. The age gap is already addressed by Joseung Saja Kim Woo Bin in episode 6, which means the whole production team knows what they’re doing and it is irrelevant to the plot, so why exactly? LOL?

Some other haters thought they were being critical by saying she is childish and clingy, but I’m really waiting for at least an evidence to prove this claim though. So far no hater has come forth with any so I’m just going to brush this off because it’s just groundless hate. But if you’re referring to how playful and carefree she was around Kim Shin when they first went to Quebec, I’m going to have to call you psycho or just dangerously bitter and I suggest you get help - that’s one serious mental illness you got there. It’s disturbing how people find a way to hate on someone not deserving of hate. Some people just have so much time to waste. If you expect a friendless high school senior who had lived under constant abuse for ten years, been treated unfairly by her teacher and classmates, been told that she wasn’t supposed to be born when she was perfectly healthy at 9 right after her mum’s death to NOT be overwhelmed by excitement and brightly grinning around the first person who had shown her a bit of kindness (buckwheat flowers and a magical trip to Canada) - you have an unreasonable standard for how such a person should act. So playful and carefree, yes. Childish and clingy, no. This girl practically grew up on her own, dealt with all the shit the world had in store for her all by herself, never backed down despite being pressured by negativity from every possible aspect of her life and fiercely refused to give up on surviving despite knowing she was living on borrowed time. Like hello, she works hard at growing up and not getting corrupted by her surroundings and succeeds. How do you hate a character like that? How?

*sigh* Anyway, Eun Tak never fails to surprise me over and over again with her thoughtfulness, endearing quirks and impressive character development – helping the ghost girl to refill her fridge so that her mother deals with her departure easier, laminating the maple leaf as parting gift for the dokkaebi, sweet-talking the dokkaebi into telling her the lottery numbers to help the ghost ahjumma’s children, working out to pull out the sword in one go so as to not hurt our dokkaebi (even while knowing that he would have to leave) because that’s what he wanted and needed from her, picking up the pieces of his heart when Chairman Yoo passed away, defending her ghost unnie from being punished by Kim Shin because she already apologized, graduating college with a degree while battling clinical depression all on her own, becoming a radio PD who inspires her co-workers every day despite having to deal with unspeakable grief every night, suffering hard core abandonment issues for ten years and never really getting over it but still treating undeserving people with kindness, saving a whole group of kindergartners in a heartbeat because someone should and no one else could – I could write a whole paper on why Ji Eun Tak is one of the most inspiring women in literature and get an A+ for it, but I have another paper to finish so I will leave you with this: She is one of the most selfless, courageous, forgiving, loyal and unpredictable characters ever written, and I adore everything about her (and if you think otherwise, I will fight you because you’re wrong). She shines so dazzlingly and honestly all the time without even trying and that means a lot to me, who wishes to write better women in my own fictional works. For the magic that is Ji Eun Tak, I thank writer Kim Eun Sook. You’re inspirational, writer-nim, and Eun Tak is no less.

Alright. That should be it about the main leads. Let’s move on.

Now, one of the best things about Dokkaebi that I really appreciate is the fact that it does not spoon-feed the viewers the character and plot development, and major messages of the drama through straightforward line deliveries and scenes. It respects the viewers as people, who are thinkers, so they are instead done with genius transitions, stunning cinematography, precisely and symbolically placed props and elegant poetry in the multi-layered dialogues. You see all these in every episode but the one part that stunned me the most was when the two school girls were eating at Samshin Halmang’s fish cake stall.

The friend comments on the girl’s hairclip saying that she could just wear it when the father is around because it’s embarrassing. But the girl with the hairclip would not remove it, because she loves her dad and love isn’t something that exists just because the person is there with you. Following this scene was another in which our lonely Kim Shin walks by, wearing Ji Eun Tak’s red scarf around his neck – because his love for her does not fade just because she is not physically there with him. I choked back tears as I connected these two scenes because they were both disheartening and magnificent at the same time and I thanked God for the years I spent attending Literature classes in university. I would have missed half of these flashes of literature brilliance throughout the series if not for the classes. *sobs some more*

Right. In this production, literally no line is delivered for nothing, I promise. This is one of the most powerful conversations in the drama;

Kim Shin: There is no sadness that lasts for eternity. And there is no love that lasts for eternity. Eun Tak: I’m gonna vote that there is. Kim Shin: Which is it? Sadness or love? Eun Tak: Sad love.

and you have to wait until the end of episode 16 to witness the impact of this dialogue on the foreshadowed truth of their cruel yet beautiful destiny. What they had was pure, innocent love, and it was too sad to comprehend, let alone endure. It had and will always be true love, as it had and will always be too sad. But it lasts for eternity, and that’s the most important thing to them – and the rest of the fandom who actually gets it. Because God gave them such fate as a question, and their answer to Him was the best anyone under their circumstances could offer, that’s why they both win in the end. *wow, the feels*

Also, literally no prop is placed in a shot for nothing – buckwheat flowers that symbolize lovers, Joseung Saja’s brooch which hints who he was in his previous life, cotton flowers given to Ji Eun Tak by Samshin Halmang, Memilgun, laminated maple leaf, Eun Tak’s mother’s red scarf, Sunny-not-Sun Hee’s jade ring, star hairclip, candles, rose gold necklace with the word Destin as the locket, red scarf worn by Kim Shin; I could go on and on but let me just tell you that the writing of this drama is no joke. It calms me down a bit, knowing that our writer-nim took six years to complete the manuscript. If she had taken lesser, I will have no choice but to stop believing that she was ever human. So yes, the props. Just do a little research on what they mean and how they fit in each scene and you’ll realize how inventive the direction of this drama is. I’m really running out of adjectives here, people, so I really hope I’ve been making sense.

If you have read my rant up to this point, you would realize that I had been very attentive during the airing of every episode to the point that it’s almost psychotic and I am a rabid worshiper of the writing of this drama. I love it with my entire capacity of appreciating someone’s work and that is huge, even for me. I will defend everything and everyone fiercely so if you’re hating, you need to stay off my radar. And you would also realize that if you haven’t watched it, you really should and that if you already have but didn’t end up crazy, you’re cool. But in all honesty, the writing of this drama is on another level so if you’re the kind of viewer who needs to be told everything (like why didn’t Ji Eun Tak just summon Kim Shin instead of going to Quebec to find him? Or how did Kim Shin made it back? Or why did Ji Eun Tak so easily say ‘I love you’ in the first episode? Or how can this be her first life if Kim Shin first saw her in late Joseon? – I still can’t believe someone actually asked this in the comments section, but yes, I hope you get the idea), then this drama is not for you. You’ll get distracted by the loose ends you thought weren’t tied but were actually knotted in the decisions made by the characters, and that would definitely suck. So you stay happy, and watch another drama. I mean it. I’ve seen enough hate that was based on ignorance and lazy thinking so believe me you don’t wanna be a part of that. It’s really embarrassing to watch and it hurts the people who appreciate the production team’s hard work.

It’s not a difficult drama to revel in, it’s just very intricately and delicately written, the details could be overwhelming, which is why some lazy thinkers won’t and don’t get it thus ending up writing hate comments on both story and characters (although the only character they seem to hate for no obvious reason is Ji Eun Tak but yeah really whatever). I guess that’s the problem with non-thinking people, they go around writing shitty opinions about something they cannot even comprehend, instead of doing something about their disability (read: shallow-mindedness) and I swear to God I have yet to find a hate comment on Dokkaebi that’s not a personal attack on Kim Go Eun and Ji Eun Tak - because as hard as it is for them to accept, these haters have literally nothing on the show. No hate post has ever provided significant instances of the so-called flaws, non-existent chemistry and wonky execution they claim to have noticed in the episodes. They are just making empty claims with no substance or evidence and really, I don’t feel sorry for them at all. They don’t deserve it. I’m just glad I don’t belong to their group. Because honestly, I don’t think people who hate on fictional characters who are all around good and affectionate will ever be good friends to anyone. Seriously, if a person is helpful, brave, warm and compassionate and you still find it inside you to hate on him or her - what does that say about you and your mental state? Right. Exactly my point.

So I really hope that if you haven’t watched it, you would give it a shot. I can’t guarantee you would love it as much as I do, but from where I am, everything I have written about it up to this point is all true. So yes, think about it. I’ll wait. Heh.

OK, my rant is almost over so I’ll jump straight to the most powerful message in the drama that got through to me - selfless love always wins. In the beginning – both Eun Tak and Kim Shin desperately tried to keep each other alive because neither wanted either to die because they wanted to have each other for as long as possible; Kim Shin stopped a huge traffic collision because Eun Tak was on the bus, Eun Tak left the house and disappeared because she could never draw the sword knowing he would perish. This is selfishness, in the sense of wanting your life partner to always be with you at the expense of others (read: Joseung Saja working overtime and Kim Shin having to suffer his punishment longer). But as the drama draws to a close, they both came to realize that love isn’t about holding on to each other no matter what, it’s about returning to each other no matter how far you are separated, by time or distance.

Selflessly and surprising me yet again, Eun Tak decided that her time was up and she should leave the world of the living, but not before earning herself the title Cheonsa for taking the full impact of the crash and saving the lives of innocent children. She was 29, she was a Missing Soul – a Gita Nurakja (thank you, @bodashiri), she has lived long enough on the time that she wasn’t supposed to have and she has always had it coming – so she left because it was for the best. I can’t even begin to tell you how difficult it got from the moment of the crash to Kim Shin falling to his knees, crying out the agony of his most painful loss in 900 years (it must have destroyed him into unrecognizable pieces; being a god and not being able to reach her on time) – my tears wouldn’t stop falling, and my heart broke for both of them. The last time I cried this much was when Dumbledore died and it was so devastating. It wasn’t easy. But it helped a lot to have the Dokkaebi Squad and @supaliaxpress with me through it all, though it was still so overwhelming.

Yet my heart swelled with pride when she decided to not drink the tea of oblivion, because in her short life, she had no regret whatsoever. Most of her 29 borrowed years were filled with suffering and heartaches, but she chooses to keep all of the memories because somewhere among them, there is Kim Shin. And selflessly too, Kim Shin agreed to wait. He could have just accepted God’s forgiveness then and there, cross over and be granted peace, but he let go of that opportunity because he wanted to wait for her in her future reincarnations. He didn’t know if they would be reincarnated in the same lifetime. He didn’t know if they would be able to find each other and we didn’t know how many lives he still has. But she still has another three. So wait for her he did. *sobs OMG WTH* I couldn’t help but smiled tearfully at Eun Tak’s genuine happiness when told that it was her first death. She knew that she was coming back, and she promised to come back running. And came back she did, although it took her many years later. It was perfect. So perfect. So selfless and sad but magically eternal. I couldn’t have asked for a better conclusion. I wouldn’t.

However, some fans have been complaining and suggesting alternate endings all over the internet. I couldn’t bring myself to agree to any of them. An ending where the dokkaebi chooses to become a human and grow old with his bride is an absolute betrayal to the title of the drama and the entire premise the story was built on. And an ending where Eun Tak somehow becomes another dokkaebi and lives forever with Kim Shin would be an insult to the viewers’ intelligence because it was stated loud and clear in episode 4 - if any of them complainers were actually paying attention – that she believes in a love that’s sad but everlasting. And that kind of love wins everything, every single time. Because it is selfless.

Sure, she will grow old and will have to leave him again in the future, and he will have to wait for her again and again until she uses up all her lifetimes. But I’d like to believe that the white butterfly would be merciful towards both of them at the end of her fourth reincarnation, and let them cross over together. Besides, the white butterfly likes Kim Shin for his good looks, and his punishment was long over – so if he asks to go to the afterlife with her, I bet it’ll be granted. I believe that our Dokkaebi couple will get their happily ever after in the end, without either of them having to leave the other, ever again. It’s bittersweet, but it’s the most perfect ending for their story. *uglysobs* So, so perfect, God.

*breathes deeply*

Alright. Congrats upon making it here, if you did. And thank you for taking the time to revisit the story that we all love so much, with me. It’s been a pleasure writing this out. The chaos in my thoughts is now calm so I think I can go back to writing my thesis. But that doesn’t mean I’m moving on. I’ve seen some bloggers writing posts about not being ready to move on from Dokkaebi and I thought to myself, ‘Why should we? Why can’t we just love it forever, re-watch the episodes like we re-read our favorite books and re-live the wonderful memories over and over again?’ Right? So I’ll take my time. I’m in no rush. It’s a beautiful love story. We should let it live.

And finally, I would like to thank the entire production team, especially writer-nim Kim Eun Sook and director-nim Lee Eung-bok for everything that made Dokkaebi the masterpiece that it is. Everything and everyone was right for the drama in their own magical way and it’s an honor to be watching all 16 masterpieces as the rest of the world was. Writer-nim, I don’t know if you will ever see this, but you’re amazing and I hope you hear people telling you that every single day because you deserve it. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story with all of us; Dokkaebi could easily be the closest thing to magic anyone can ever experience, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

#naniwrytes #goblin #dokkaebi #gong yoo #kim go eun #lee dong wook #yoo in na #yook sung jae #goryeo #kim shin #ji eun tak #wang yeo #kim sun #sunny #destin #quebec #canada

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tierra · 6 years

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When you’re finally “home” for the holidays....(“”required)

Post 8/30

Home is where you are. Home is where the heart is. Home is where ever I’m with you. So many conflicting definitions of what “home” is. My take-home point: home is whatever makes you feel comfortable and content. I hate to get all sappy (hahah who am I kidding, I’m always sappy), but home is not a place. It’s a presence. It’s where you feel the most yourself. The most confident. It’s where you get the roots for your soul. What is important to you, what’s not.

Today, I felt so incredibly at home. I felt like I could express my true feelings without judgement. Attempt to parse them out. It’s not that I don’t feel these things often when I’m with Chaz. It’s more that I have a hard time feeling this way when I’m with my parents. In the past 8 years since leaving home, every holiday has felt like a chore. A constant confidence DE booster. Feeling like I’m the lesser in the family. I know. Screw being self deprecating. But it’s the fucking truth okay? This year, I’m attempting to fully embrace who I am. Every. Single. Flaw. Fuck striving to make people happy! I’m making myself happy. Cliche? Fuck you-who cares. But no, seriously-what I’m finding (in a very roundabout new learning way) is that taking care of yourself almost ALWAYS leads to better relationships. Today, as I was being my usual boisterous, preachy, and slightly obnoxious self, I decided to live it up. Get one of my obvious flaws out in the open (by saying “I know I need to work on the fact that i literally hate everyone who can eat any food they want, but when I do I get physically ill”) and making it known that it’s something I’m working on. This achieves two goals:

1) I feel less guilty about my actions because everyone knows it’s something I’m working on &

2) everyone else feels more inclined to try harder to offer help from a place of acceptance instead of from a place of judgement and resentment.

Ta-dah! New saying!

Home is wherever you can be yourself while also working on yourself.

Okay so the saying needs some work.

Merry Christmas dear friends and family. Don’t be afraid to be yourself and to also admit when you’re trying to work on stuff. People are put in your life to be a suppprt system. Use it. But don’t forget to give back and do the same for those around you.

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sweetseda · 4 years

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Canning At Home – Tips For True Beginners

When you’re new to canning food at home, the whole process can be intimidating. Not only does it take a good bit of time and space in the kitchen, but there’s also that worry that you’ll do it wrong and get sick later.

I used to feel the same way. But once I’d gone through the process a couple of times, I realized it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Remember this:

When you’re just starting to can at home, you don’t have to try to fill your whole pantry. It’s okay to work in small batches until you get more comfortable canning and find a few favorite recipes.

How Canning Works

Don’t be intimidated by the canning process. In the simplest recipes, it’s really just a matter of boiling your jars in water bath canner to heat the internal contents and destroy any harmful bacteria.

Once out of the boiling water, the lids on your jars create a vacuum seal as they cool and can be stored in a cool dark place for months or years.

Canning at home: basic supplies

Canning fresh produce is a very cost-effective way to preserve your harvest and stock up on a your favorite seasonal items for use year-round. To get started, you just need a few, inexpensive canning supplies.

So which canning supplies are the most essential and which ones are optional?

Must Have Canning Supplies

Mason Jars

Optional Canning Supplies

Jam and Jelly Maker

Pressure Canner and Cooker

Tired of canning and want more options for preserving? Read 4 Ways To Preserve Tomatoes

Supplies required for canning at home

Canning is a great way to enjoy healthy, nutritious foods throughout the year. It allows you to preserve everything your garden has to offer throughout the year and take advantage of produce you find at the farmers market.

Water Bath Canner

Aside from canning jars, the main piece of equipment you’ll need is a water bath canner. While you can use any large stockpot to boil your jars of homegrown goodness, a water bath canner is often more convenient and can fit more jars.

If you’re in the market for a water bath canner, consider the Granite Ware Water Bath Canner. This large pot has a jar rack that your canning jars will sit on for easy insertion and removal of your filled canning jars.

The 21.5 quart pot is a great size for canning and holds 7 one-quart jars, 9 one-pint jars or 13 half-pint jars. The stepped design of this canner produces more even heat and allows more boiling water to contact the top half of the jars.

This canner is designed to work on both gas and electric burners, but the manufacturer suggests against using it on glass top stoves.

Why you need a water bath canner

Two reasons: size and the jar rack.

The large size means you can can as much as possible at a time. And the jar rack can be lifted and rest along the edges of the pot for easy placement of your jars.

It remains in place during canning to prevent the glass jars from touching the bottom of the pot. Why is this important?

Because having the glass in direct contact with the bottom of the pot may cause your jars to bust open! Let me tell you that is not something you want to clean up. For that reason alone it is well worth investing in a proper water bath canner.

When the water bath process is completed, you can lift the rack with the cans out of the water for easier removal. The jar rack gives you more control over the heat and jars, resulting in better overall canning results.

Canning Recipe Books

The All New Ball Complete Book Of Home Canning comes highly recommended by all home canning experts.

Everyone knows that Ball is one of the biggest names in the canning world. When they publish a book on canning, it’s something worth paying attention to, and the newest edition of this canning reference does not disappoint.

Yes, there are a lot of free resources about canning available online, but there’s just something about having a big book sitting on your kitchen counter that you can reference throughout the canning process. It’s also nice to have and leaf through for inspiration when you’re facing a big batch of produce that needs to be put up.

As expected from a book like this, it has a lot of recipes for a large variety of canned products you can make right at home in your kitchen. What makes this book such an invaluable resource though is all the extra information packed into these pages.

You’ll find detailed information on the basics of canning and each step of the food preservation process.

Preserve your favorite fruits and veggies for eating all year round.

Safety is crucial when you’re preserving food that you and your family will eat months from now. This book has a lot of information about foodborne illnesses and how to prevent them.

You have to make sure you kill bad bacteria when you can your own food and, to make that happen, you should follow the time tested processes that this book will teach you.

This is a book on canning that you will come back to again and again for canning advice, to review the handy guide on produce weight vs. volume, and of course, to try some of the amazing recipes included.

I highly recommend you add this to your library of cooking and homemaking books.

Put ’em up

Canning For A New Generation

Canning Tools Kit

If you’re new to canning, the idea of handling hot jars submerged in boiling water can be pretty terrifying. Grabbing hot, wet, slippery canning jars with your kitchen tongs and wrestling them out of the pot and onto a folded towel on the counter does sound a bit dangerous.

Fortunately, there are tools that are made just for this purpose. Enter the HIC 5-Piece Canning Set.

Make sure you have a canning kit that includes jar tongs in your canning supplies. These special little tongs wrap around the jar, making it easy and safe to handle even the hottest canning jars.

You also get a set of kitchen tongs for lifting canning lids out of the pot when boiling them to sterilize and handling hot food that needs to get into the jars and a magnetic lid lifter for pulling the can lids out safely.

Another essential for your canning supplies, the included funnel makes it easy to pour liquids into jars without the risk of spilling it all over the jar and the counter. The funnel is nice and wide, making it easy to pour chunky things without making a big mess.

When you’re canning, you need to tighten lids after you get the hot jars from the water bath. The included jar wrench is much safer and easier to use than grabbing some kitchen towels to tighten the lids.

Canning Jars

Who doesn’t love mason jars? They are, of course, great for their intended purpose, but there are many other uses for these essential canning supplies.

Use ball mason jars as drinking glasses, flower vases, storing leftover food, carrying lunch to work, and more. Older jars that are past their canning prime can be turned into all sorts of arts and crafts around the house.

Ball is the most popular brand when it comes to canning and mason jars. In addition to canning, they are a great storage solution for the freezer as well.

Mason jars are an essential supply for home canners.

With more and more health concerns popping up about plastic storage containers and the risk of contamination into the foods we eat, some homesteaders feel safer using glass instead. Ball jars have yet to break on me in the freezer or in the canner, which is important in my book.

It’s important to note that once you freeze a jar you should no longer use it for canning.

When you start to make things like freezer jam, or use jars as freezer containers, keeping good track of what can go in the freezer and what’s used only for canning is important.

Home Canning Beginner Tip:

Before you start to can anything, think about the serving sizes you end up using for any particular food.

For example, if you use only half a jar of spaghetti sauce at a time, and then struggle to use it all up before it goes bad, pick a smaller jar when you make and can your own.

The same goes for jelly. If you’re not a big jelly or jam eater, make small batches and can them in little half-pint jars. This allows you to still make a variety of different fruit preserves and more importantly it makes sure that jelly stays tasty to the last bite.

Ball mason jars come in a huge variety of sizes as well as regular and wide mouth jars. You can order them straight from Amazon and have them delivered to your front door.

With free Prime shipping, this is one of the most cost-effective ways to get them.

Optional Home Canning Supplies

Automatic Jam and Jelly Maker

If you love your bread maker and rice cooker, you’re going to love the Ball automatic jam and jelly maker. It’s one of those nifty little appliances that can save you a lot of time and effort.

This fancy-do-dah electric appliance heats, stirs, and cooks a batch of homemade jelly or jam on autopilot.You add the ingredients, turn it on and come back to yummy jam, ready to pour into canning jars.

From there, you can process the jars in a hot water canner, freeze the finished fruit preserves, or just start eating it.

This will come in very handy for anyone that loves making homemade jelly but has a hard time standing at the stove stirring posts for long periods of time.

Other ways to use the jelly maker

While this is marketed as a jam and jelly maker, it is actually a lot more versatile than that. Essentially, it’s an electric cooker with built-in stirring paddles.

When you look at it that way, it opens up all sorts of cooking possibilities. Use it to make spaghetti sauce, small batches of soup, or any type of sauce that involves a lot of cooking and stirring. Now it’s a much more versatile and usable small kitchen appliance.

Fill your pantry with jellies and sauces that were canned at home!

The Ball Automatic Jam and Jelly Maker is a small appliance that won’t take up any more room than your slow cooker on the kitchen counter. It’s also pretty light-weight, making it easy to move it from the cabinet to the counter and back.

No matter how busy you are, you can turn on this jelly maker and have it take care of the cooking and stirring for you leaving no excuse not to have fresh homemade jam on the breakfast table.

Do you need a pressure canner?

Some foods, like low acid vegetables and meats, are not safely canned in a water bath canner. In those instances, you need a pressure canner.

A pressure canner effectively raises the temperature of the canned contents to 240 degrees Fahrenheit which is high enough to kill the organism that causes botulism. Water bath canning, on the other hand, only raises the temperature to 212 degrees Fahrenheit.

This is fine for acidic foods and jellies because the Clostridium bacteria cannot survive in a low pH environment. But if you want to can your veggies without pickling them, you need to use a pressure canner.

Instead of being submerged in boiling water, a pressure canner uses steam to push all the air out of your canned food and fill the space with boiling water and steam at much higher temps than can be achieved with a water bath canner. Since there is no air in the jar, the heat is distributed evenly to all parts of the jar.

Presto Pressure Canner and Cooker

Pressure canners come in many sizes and price ranges. The Presto Pressure Canner and Cooker is a great choice because it is affordable, has a large capacity, safe and sturdy locking lid, and easy to read pressure gauge.

This pressure canner also has nice safety features like plastic handles so that you won’t burn yourself when the canner is hot and a pressure regulator that releases excess built up steam. You can also use this canner for water bath canning and pressure cooking.

The Presto pressure canner and cooker comes with a canning rack, instruction manual, and recipe book.

Now that you have all the essential canning supplies, what will you can first?

Here’s a quick rundown of the whole canning process in an infographic. PIN IT!

Essential canning supplies and canning basics infographic by Bed Bath & Beyond

The post Canning At Home – Tips For True Beginners appeared first on You Should Grow.

This content was originally published here.

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jak3young97 · 4 years

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Opinion Series

Audience (Gamer complaining to Gym rat about why they don’t work out in the gym using aspects learned from the sources I chose)

10 Reasons You Don't Exercise (Article)

Working out is way too time-consuming and not a very important use of my time. I don’t see why I should spend time working out when I could be at home relaxing and playing Apex. Every time I do a workout I push myself really hard and end up being sore for weeks. And not only am I sore for like a week I also don’t really notice any progress which is super disappointing. Maybe if gym memberships weren’t so expensive I would be more interested in trying to get my game on at the gym but they’re hella pricey. I can play apex for free and it helps relieve stress, its fun, and increases my reaction time. Exercising might be able to help with those things but usually, I just feel crappy every time I go. Also, everyone is in a way better shape than me so I feel bad about myself because I compare myself to all the try-hards that have been grinding in the gym for years. Half of the time I’m trying to wreck the weights I feel like a total noob, and don’t know wtf I’m even doing.

Why You Hate Exercise (Article)

People have told me of how they get endorphin highs after their workouts but I haven’t been blessed with this feeling and it kinda just sux, I just don’t have the right genes to feel good after I exercise. I know that as an adult you’re supposed to get at least 2.5 hours of exercise a week but I just don’t see how I can fit in that much time into my week. And that’s not including the time that it takes to drive too and back from the gym every day. I live like 15 mins away from the gym and so a round trip could take me 30 mins which is like 2 dub matches in apex, just driving. I wish there was just a glitch that could make me healthy even without ever having to go to the gym and drinking mountain dew every day.

“Working out for likes”: An empirical study on social influence in exercise gamification (Article)

I know that some people use social media as a way to help motivate them to go to the gym. I have a friend that will post something every day he goes to the gym. Personally I think its a little weird but at the same time, I see how it can help to give him a reason to make it to the gym. When I see people like that posting about their new gains and progress which I think is pretty cool and kind of makes me want me to get back into exercise but at the same time I know that I’m way too big of a noob at the gym to ever be able to grind as you do at the gym. And because of that, I don’t really it’s even worth starting because I feel like I will never get that kind of results.

Audience (Gym rat talking to Gamer trying to convince him to exercise)

Can You Have Your Vigorous Exercise and Enjoy It Too?

Bro I get where you’re coming from because we all started at a point where it’s hard and you don’t really feel like you know what you’re doing. It sounds to me like the sessions that you’ve experienced have been some HIT workouts. High-intensity training can be really good sometimes but a mistake that a lot of people make is they start off their workouts with HIT. But if you want some true gains you got to start slow. The reason you might feel like you have bad form is that you haven’t developed the right coordination in the muscles that you are training. Exercise is a lot like gaming in away. You can’t just hop on a new game and go straight to the hardest difficulty expecting to be able to succeed. You got to get comfortable with the game first. That’s how exercise is too. You got to get comfortable. Your muscles have to get used to the lower weight before you can start throwing hella plates on.

The invisible benefits of exercise

Gains are cool but that’s only one of the perks of hitting the gym. There are tons of benefits that you will feel but you might not acknowledge them. For example, exercise can actually help with depression. It might make your body feel crappy if you overdo it but the mental side effects are going to make you feel much better. You’re underestimating how much you will actually enjoy exercise. The problem is that people have labeled exercise as something that is hard and painful so they often experience it to be that way. But if you do it right and think of it in a positive way then you will enjoy it. A proper warm-up is something that a lot of people miss. It can help make your workout a lot better for a number of reasons. For one it gets your muscles used to the weight and can actually increase your max compared to a day you try maxing without a warm-up. Another thing is that it can actually prevent injuries and even soreness. I think if you warmed up properly and did lower intensity training for your first few weeks starting off it would be a lot less painful and easier to be able to keep working out.

Acute psychological benefits of exercise: Reconsideration of the placebo effect.

More on the psychological effects that exercise has. Did you know that people actually have hundreds of dollars by switching to exercise as a way to treat mental illnesses? The two most common mental illnesses that people in the united states deal with today are depression and anxiety. People spend hundreds and even thousands of dollars on different pharmaceuticals to help treat these illnesses. There has been a lot of research that shows that exercise can reduce the amount of treatment needed and even in some cases replace it altogether. And even if you may not struggle with depression or anxiety you probably have had to deal with stress before. And throwing around barbells and hoppin on the gain train can help a shit ton with stress. I personally was hella stressed with all the midterms I had. Going to the gym helped me forget about all my stress and was able to feel really good, and when I came back to my homework I was able to focus a lot better. So bro, get your butt in the gym because there is so many good reasons to be there.

Audience (A redneck from the country (that isn’t very illiterate) talking to his neighbor about some exercise science that he just learned )

The Importance of Establishing an exercise routine and sticking to it

Howdy partner, I wanna tell ya sum formation that’s gonna change yuur damn life. It’s bout exercise. Yall know how important it is to do your chores every mornin. The same thing goes with exercising. Ya gotta get a routine goin. Dah numba one reason that people end up callin it quits when they trying to get intah exercise is cause they aint get a routine goin. Cause once ya miss one workout it makes it easier to jus keep on missin. And if yur as busy as me then you know that its somtimes hard to get a good exercise in, but usally you can still get in some exercise in even if it a small amount of exercise. Fur examples, maybe ya gotta go to dah store and grab some pellets fur yur smoker. Ya can park far away from dah market so that it will take more walkin to get to yur destination. Than once ya get their dont grab a cart. Carts are fur Bitc***es! Jus grab dem 25 pound bags an do some shrugs wit dem on your way back to dah truck. And boom! Ya jus got in a leg an shoulder workout and ya didnt even have tah take that much time out of ya day.

It's possible to exercise too much

Ah nuhder thing I jus learned about, is called ovah, trainin. Dis came to a surprise tah me cause I didn’t think such a thing was possible. But sure as sh** it is. Turns out dat some of dah time your body aint ready for them high tensity and long workouts. Fah-teeeging urself can even lead to ya testosterone levels lowerin, which is definetly not good, espeacially if ya got a woman that is crazy as mine when it comes to certain areas that require alot of dat testosterone stuff. Even yur damn brain can be effected if your ovah train. So even doh exercise is important an ya wanna push ur self, it is portant tah not ova do it.

Exercise: It's what we evolved to do

Now sum people think dat exercise is not dat mmm’portant. But times have changed and it’s purrty much impossible to stay healthy deese days cause of these changes. Changes like the foods we eat and the activities that we participate in. Food has changed alot over dah years and almost everthing we eat is loaded with sugar and other crap that isn’t healthy. And dah activities that we participate in are usaully pretty lazy. People spend bunches of hours on videeo games an tv shows. And not only that but people don’t have very active jobs dese days. And because these changes, people need tah be able to exercise to make up for all crap we are eatin and the lack of physical activity.

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punkwhodrinkstea-blog · 7 years

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Super Sick and College SUCKS!

There is no right way to begin this blog post. I swear I’m dying. Every week at college is a nightmare where I barely survive and am on the brink of a depression attack almost always. I am falling asleep in classes and on the bus, but not in my bed. I am overwhelmed with everything everything as it all piles up. And finally I am now sick. I’m on the brink of vomiting and everything hurts along with having no energy.

So folks I noticed around my class that I’m not the only person suffering on a daily bases. I also noticed that the college advertises things like, counselling and mental illness help stuff. So I figured I’d do some research on the topic and turns out the college workload has drastically increased since 2007-2017 and even more drastically since 1997-2007. I started to wonder about this when I was simply pushing myself to barely finish all my assignments, never mind taking your time to make something of quality. But instead it’s all about quantity over quality. There is a consistent pattern in each assignment’s requirements that has nothing to do with the quality of your work but instead it simply tells you how many, concepts or thumb nails or number of mediums you must have. The assignments are marked with very black and white requirements when art or design can’t be.

Also something that bothers me is that we are told how to do our rough work. It’s dumb. For example for one of my projects we had to design a linear picture that had to be 15x15 inches. Now an artist/designer knows what they would do to make such a thing. However in college we have to follow a very specific order and fill certain requirements. We had to make 100 thumbnails… 100! Then after that we had to make 3 concepts (not a lot but still useless in my opinion) and finally we get to make the linear design “rough” copy. We also had to have printed out pictures of different ideas, a rationale. Then finally we make the final copy and hand it in. It was ridiculous, I mean if I were to do this at home I would have thought of a few ideas then maybe draw a quick rough copy of each and then pick my favorite. Lastly I’d do it. No strings attached, it’s not suppose to be filled with so much extra work. Anyway I’m done.

So some universities in the USA did a study on mental health and mental illnesses of the students who attended their school. They found that there has been a 70% increase of students who suffer from Anxiety as an illness, a 30% increase of students who suffer from depression as an illness and lastly a 10% increase in suicides. This is without a doubt due to overwhelming expectations, work loads, pressures and the classic media telling us what we should be like. From my experience with college I can’t imagine anyone ever not thinking about suicide while at college. I mean we wake up early, go to school most of the day and then do homework all night. The only reason I have time to write this blog post is because I am too sick to attend class today. School is hell on so many levels. Highschool and college aren’t much different either. However in highschool you can half ass a project or skip class with hardly any consequence. You can even fail 2 classes and still be able to graduate with the rest of your age group (you wouldn’t get spares though). Also Highschool is free, actually highschool is forced on you which sucks. But paying thousands of dollars and having that weight held over you is worse.

Next up is some stuff I found from what teachers have said about how the school system and students have changed. Apparently and not so surprising, students seem to have no self confidence… gee ain’t that relatable. That could be easy helped if the classes were small so that the teachers could have more one on one time with students and with smaller classes it’s easier to feel safe if you fail. Another teacher said that the students haven’t changed much over the years however the parents have. Apparently years ago in the stone age parents could have rational discussions with teachers and would understand when a teacher gives a bad grade or disciplines a student. However these days the parents fight the teachers because they believe their kid is the best. Next a college professor said that students back in the day used to go to school to better themselves and improve for the sake of their career, however now students hardly have a choice and if they don’t finish a 3+ year program they aren’t likely to get a job. There’s a difference between a student who wants to be there and one who just wants a future. I’m can relate because sadly I’m in college because I want a future and it’s hard to get a decent job these days unless you go to college. However the skills I’m learning can help me with my art as well so I do my best to focus on the reasons as to why I want to be there instead of the fact that I don’t have much choice. Anyway moving on to “trust”. These days no one trust younger folks. If you’re in your early 20’s or younger, you must be irresponsible and not be able to take care of yourself. I get this all the time from my folks. I mean they tell me to feed the dogs every day...I’ve had dogs for 16 years… 16 years and the one is still alive! I feed my dogs everyday but do they trust me to remember? Nope. Can I go outside when the sun is down? Nope… I’m 20 years old folks. My parents have no faith in me.

Anyway folks I’ve gotta go, I have to try and get healthy. However I don’t want to go to school tomorrow… school is hell, as you can tell I am not enjoying it. There is nothing good about it. Everyday in a new nightmare, every week is a new “worst week of my life”. Just yesterday I had a “depression attack” all day. I cried on the bus ride to the college, cried during my first class and then cried during my lunch break and I was freaking out for the entire day. I was in physical pain and I just wanted to cut myself or die. It was awful. I don’t know if this will continue to get worse or what. But I don’t know how people do this. I mean there are people with worse depression than me and people who suffer from both anxiety and depression. How are they suppose to survive this crap? I have no idea. I mean college has to become your life and you have to somehow enjoy it or find a very effective way to cope with it. But honestly there is no way to cope with it because it takes too long to cope with it and then you’d fall behind. DAH! Anyway like I said, I’ve gotta go. Good luck and have fun… I know I won’t.

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desertdevils · 7 years

Conversation

past gen + dril tweets

Anthony Bird: WAITER..ive made it quite clear U are not to speak to me until im ready to select the Spice Level of my braised quail dumplings..now BEGONNE

Micaela Bird: another fucked up thing that women will do to all good men and boys is steal their last names, posSibly to leverage their own failing brands

Edward Blackwell: DOCTOR: you can't keep doing this to yourself. being The Last True Good Boy online will destroy you. you must stop posting with honor. ME: No,

Anastasia Teller: done retweetinh husband accounts. it has become Trite, and Obnoxious to me.

Helene Braddock: im actualy, probably, the most superbly relatable and normal person in this jail cell as of right NOw

Michael Calderon: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby

Ariana Calderon: i just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in

Vincent Calderon: girls always love to telling people not to" Mansplain”

but they do not care of, "Man's Pain”

Rachel Calderon: between the gun & the blade.. throwing knives are the "Best of both worlds" when it comes to eliminating thousands of home intruders at once

Gerald Clarence: Sovereign Citizens Getting Owned Compilation

Elizabeth Clarence: running multiple red lights while listening to the radio jockeys Flawless "dr. evil" impersonation and scream-laughing

Kiefer Marsden: (truyng to stumble across the next big two-word phrase that gets really popular for no reason) udhhu.. bird hell owl. big hell. owl hell

Maria Herrero: The absolute shit Im forced to put up with as a content Producer. Ive sacrificed my basic human rights in order to placate U fucking people.

Anais Fairfax: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT

James Murdoch: turning my headlights off when driving at night,.. so that my Rivals cannot see me

Daria Murdoch: CHILD: Papa.. tell me once more about WIFE's DUTY PAPA: it is WIFE's DUTY to protect her husband from villains, always

Camila Martinez: ilove the idea of beating the shit out of my Son's rival's dad at the little league game with a suitcase full of cash

David Nelson: If U Ever Contact My Daughetr Again I Will Call My Lawyer And We'll Kick Your Tiny Weird Shaped Head Around The Court Room

Pearl Nelson: Adorn Your Front Door With A Tasteful Welcome Mat Or Shut Dah Fuck Up

Abraham Siska: i am selling six beautfiul, extremely ill, white horses. they no longer recognize me as their father, and are the Burden of my life

Lorelei Siska: mind of a lion.. heart of a Pregnant woman

Andres Sandoval: if you have a problem with my mouth, i’ll be swinging a sledgehammer in circles outdoors for the rest of my life, so come try to do crap to me.

Carmen Sandoval: "son, if you think we deserve better, let me remind you that the large wooden 'H' affixed to our kitchen wall stands for 'Hell'"

Nathaniel Teller: i put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like "oh tortures bad","its ineffective" fuck off

Zuzana Teller: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to sotp tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances

#i'm awful #memes

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manekicho28 · 7 years

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60 Days Until JET

You think the hard part is over because you got upgraded/accepted? FOOLS.

So, I’ve got the countdown going for when I will be departing from America, on my way to Japan. This is the 60th day before I leave. How bow dah.

I’ll make part of this post about the fifty nifty thousand things I need to do before I depart and some of my tribulations and grump-umpling about the current state I’m in. The other part I’ll leave to reflection. I’ll put that at the end with plenty of warning so that if you are an unfeeling robot who is triggered by emotions, you can skip it and go find your oil can.

So, by the beginning of June, we have to submit several papers.

One of which is the Certificate of Health, which I had already completed and mailed along with my Reply Form (the official document that states, “YES PLEASE TAKE ME YES I ACCEPT YES ILL BE AN ALTERNATE PLEASE JUST TAKE ME IVE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS”) but that got lost in the mail. Thank god they sent out emails to those from whom they did not receive a reply form in case of this very situation.

Anyway, got that filled out again. I’m pretty sure my doctor’s office is done with me. After changing jobs three times in one year and applying to JET, they’ve had to deal with a lot of medical paperwork from me. “Wait... which form did you lose in the mail?”

There’s a tax form that I almost filled out wrong because I thought it would be cut and dry until I read through the first information packet that they sent out for how to fill out all these different documents that we need to file before this next deadline. Redid that, and because of my reply form debacle, I requested my mom send it from the Chicagoish area for me. Love you, mami.

Another form, we have to input our “JET number” which we apparently don’t get until we receive our placement.

Um.... ok? So where’s my placement?

Well so, beginning of last week I pop onto facebook to see what’s the haps and the 2017 JET page is BLOWING UP. I look, and everyone is posting, “Who’s in Chiba? Any other Kyoto JETS? Tokyo JETS, the few, the brave! Wah-wah-*I’m not in Tokyo.*” So I’m digging through my email and texting my dad (at 4am, mind you) to try to figure out where the hell this information is coming from!

I see a note from our coordinator to check our inboxes. So now I’m rummaging through my trash folder, spam folder, JET folder, using the search term JET, placement, contract, etc. to try and locate this email. It’s 4am, so I know that anything I do now won’t be solved until the end of the day. Nonetheless, I sent out a polite email that sounded something like this (read in a British accent for best effect):

“Good sir, it appears that the placements have been sent out. I have checked my inbox and it seems I have not received mine. Would it be possible to resend my placement information? Otherwise, how may I go about receiving it? Please inform me of anything needed on my end.”

Can’t have my phone in work so I checked during lunch. No reply. Checked after work and he said simply,

“We don’t have your placement information yet, it will come in a couple weeks.”

AGUUUGAUUUUUGHGGHAUUHAUHGGHGHHHH!!!

The deadline is in a couple weeks! You’re killin’ me smalls! (Jachi is always saying that to me)

So here I’m sitting watching people learn about their new homes: Wow dude I’m gunna have to totally buy a snowboard or skiis dude. I’m probably going to need to get a car for my placement! Here’s this facebook group I found for JETs in the area! I’m in the mountains! Maybe I’ll meet Totoro! So this is a little frustrating, but as my Sensei said,

“Especially in your life, there will be times when you need to have patience. This is one of them.” So for now, I’m looking forward to the orientation in Tokyo and the mystery of my placement.

Actually, I like to imagine that my placement is so fantastical and special that it needs all this extra time to get sorted out! Maybe I’ll be going to a land no JET has gone before! That’d be awesome. A placement with no preconceived notions... well, maybe just the nation-wide expectations of blonde-haired, blue-eyed, tall, big nose, stinky, loud, rude.... I meet 4 of those expectations. But which ones?!

To be honest, when I started this process I really wanted to be placed where no JET has gone before, just for the adventure and challenge that that would bring!

But lately I’ve been psyching myself out.

I’m not the person I was the last time I went to Japan.

Which is a good thing. There’s many things I did the last time I went to Japan that make me cringe so badly I wish I could push my then-self off of the Kiyomizudera stage.

**WARNING: TOUCHY-FEELY PERSONAL GARBAGE AHEAD**

Long story short, I got so full of myself that I left Japan with no friends despite all the friends I thought I had made.

Now that I’m older and wiser, I know how to be a human being a little better.

But when I went the last time, I had so much confidence in myself that I don’t have now.

Now that I have humility and self-awareness, I am worrying about my me-ness conflicting with Japan’s Japan-ness.

One of our alumni heroes told us not to worry too much about that: You are being hired to be an American. You are being hired to speak English.

While I recognize that, I don’t want to embarrass myself like I did last time. I want to be a good friend, I want to do things right. I want to make good decisions.

As someone who likes anime, I’m scared that I will be judged and labeled immediately.

As someone who identifies with hyperactive, nutty characters in anime, I’m scared that I won’t be able to be myself for fear of not being taken seriously.

People can blame it on Japanese culture being stifling to individuality, but to be honest, I feel the same exact pressure in America. The difference is in Japan, I’m supposed to be representing America.

How do you represent a culture that you don’t care about all the while being infatuated with a culture you are a guest in?

I know I’m all over the place. My worries abound. Maybe I’ll make a separate post about it.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

Love,

Kurisu

#JET2017 #jet program #Japan #Japanese #Teach abroad #international #teacher #culture #tokyo

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kerahlekung · 4 years

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Pimpinan politik kini berharga dan mahal pula...

Pimpinan politik kini berharga dan mahal pula....

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Peliknya Anwar ni. Bila Mahathir kata nak jadi PM, Anwar tak setuju, tapi Anwar tak kata tak mahu bekerjasama dgn Mahathir. Bila PH sebut nama Anwar sebagai calon PM, Mahathir tak setuju lantas berkata tiada lagi kerjasama dgn Anwar. Bila PH Plus dulu sebut nama Shafie sbg calon PM, Keadilan tidak setuju tapi Anwar tidak kata Warisan tidak lagi boleh bekerjasama dengan PH. Apa tindakan Mahathir? Bila dia cuba untuk jerat Anwar agar putuskan hubungan dgn kumpulan dia dan Warisan gagal, maka Mahathir sendiri umum Blok Bebas. Itu stail Mahathir yg terkenal sejak dulu dan tidak lagi boleh berubah, iaitu "pecah dan perintah". - Wfauzdin Ns

Ambooi...jumpa cara senyap2...

Kalu dah hangpa(hgpa) tak suka PKR hgpa benci sgt dgn bang Non mudah jer. Kalau dah hgpa boleh dok berpakat sakan dgn Atuk dan Piee Warisan, apa salahnya join shj sbg. WarisBebas...tinggalkan PKR dan bang Non biaq PH terbubar. Baru hgpa puashati bukan? Takkanlah kot hgpa dok benci kutuk2 bang Non dan PKR tetiba hgpa nak kerjasama lagi dgn dia? Pelik bin pelik bin ajaib.. Heran jugak, hari2 dok mengata kat abang Non,sebenaqnya hgpa nak apa? Kalu dah tak cukup numbers tak boleh jadi gomenlah. Kalu tipis pun tak guna. Kalu hgpa berasa Atuk dan Piee Bedal ada numbers, jalan dululah tanpa PKR. Apa susahnya? Kami sanggup tunggu sampai PRU15. Apa ada hai? Kalu hgpa tak sanggup jadi pembangkang nak juga jadi gomen, mudah jer. Pi join PN, dapatlah jawatan,sekurang2 dlm GLC. Dah kelapaq sgt nak jadi gomen,semua cara boleh bukan? - Zus Din

Historic Parliament Session

Begins 13th July...

The sitting of the Dewan Rakyat (the House of Representatives) of the Malaysian Parliament starting tomorrow is a momentous occasion – a history in its own right. Two “extraordinary” items fire the imagination of the public. One concerns the position of the Speaker and the other of the Prime Minister himself. And there might be a third – a new voting bloc. The former Prime Minister (twice), Dr Mahathir Mohamad, had announced that six “Bersatu” MPs are aligning themselves with nine Warisan and a single UPKO members to form a new voting bloc. As had been widely reported, the Prime Minister, Muhyiddin Mohd Yassin, had submitted a motion seeking the removal of the highly regardless Speaker, Tan Sri Mohamad Ariff Md Yusof, while Dr Mahathir would continue with his motion to have Muhyiddin removed. Since being sworn in on March 2, Muhyiddin had adopted a slash and burn policy of firing appointees of the Pakatan Harapan (PH) government, most of whom were professionals, and replacing them with his people, the majority of whom are politicians. It’s his way of buying support. Mohamad Ariff, a former Appeal Court judge was appointed in July 17, 2018 upon the victory of the PH in the May 9 General Elections. Also to be removed is one of the two Deputy Speakers, Nga Kor Ming, the PH (DAP) Member of Parliament for Teluk Intan, Perak. The other, Mohd Rashid Hasnon, the PH (PKR) MP for Batu Pahat, Johor, appears to be unaffected. It has been widely reported that Muhyiddin has nominated the former Chairman of the Election Commission, lawyer Azhar Harun, as the candidate for the Speaker post and the BN (Umno) MP for Pengerang, Johor, Azalina Othman Said, as Nga’s replacement. Azhar, who is better known by his non de plume Art Harun, resigned from the EC on June 29. He was nominated to the EC post by the PH government of which Muhyiddin was a senior member. It appears that he is being nominated in order to continue to give a semblance of independence to the Chair. But it raises eyebrows because only four months ago Muhyiddin had nominated his elder brother, Idrus Harun, as Attorney General. Two things are to be considered. Firstly, it has been widely reported that this is the first time in the country’s history that the Prime Minister is seeking the removal of the Speaker. Secondly, the motion could be used to show confidence in the Prime Minister or as an indirect no-confidence vote against him depending on the “yea” and “nay” from members. Do bear in mind that Muhyiddin himself had admitted, during his March 27 television broadcast, that “this isn’t the government you voted for.” His Muafakat Nasional (MN) ally, Pas President Abdul Hadi Awang was even more candid when he described Muhyiddin’s Perikatan Nasional (PN) government as one that came in through the roof. Abdul Hadi, who is the MP for Marang, had since been appointed Muhyiddin’s Special Envoy to the Middle East with ministerial status and understandably had stopped complaining about the legitimacy of the PN’s government.

No-Confidence Motion According to media report, Dr Mahathir had successfully submitted a no-confidence motion against Muhyiddin. It was supposed to have been moved in the last session. But Muhyiddin succeeded in stifling it by limiting the session to one day - May 18 - and confining the nominal sitting to just the King’s speech. And now it’s being widely speculated that Muhyiddin is seeking Mohd Ariff’s removal because he (Mohd Ariff) accepted Dr Mahathir’s motion. If he remains in the Chair, he might facilitate the tabling of the “usul”. Muhyiddin could be betting on a more thoughtful and kinder treatment from a new Speaker in whose appointment he has a hand. But it might not be as easy as that. He could face resistance from House members. They might not agree with his attempt to remove Mohd Ariff and appoint Azhar. If this happens, his standing as the Prime Minister will be hurt because such an outcome could be interpreted as an indirect no-confidence vote against him. Conversely, if he succeeds in having Mohd Ariff removed and Azhar appointed, his position becomes stronger and Dr Mahathir’s no-confidence motion could see a tougher passage. But whatever the outcome maybe, the final objective must still be for the good of the country and the people more so as we enter the recovery phase of the Covid-19 pandemic and are rebuilding of the economy. - A.Kadir Jasin

What if Muhyiddin fails to remove Ariff?...

Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin has made a move to remove the parliamentary speaker Mohamad Ariff Md Yusof against the staunch objection by civil society and the opposition. But what if a miracle happens that the motion - unprecedented for the Parliament - is narrowly defeated? Talk about unintended consequences in politics. Would that backfire on Muhyiddin that a failed removal of the speaker, in turn, shortens his premiership or at least forces him into a snap poll, much like how Dr Mahathir Mohamad’s machination to derail Anwar Ibrahim’s succession ended in terminating his own? Legislative defeat does not amount to a loss of confidence. Just like the rejection of Budget (supply bill), a legislative defeat was once treated as an informal vote of no-confidence, necessitating the prime minister to resign or seek fresh election. In fact, the first prime ministerial resignation in Britain happened in 1742 when Britain’s first PM Robert Walpole lost a House of Common’s vote on the validity of a by-election. A year before that, the first-ever formal motion of no-confidence was tabled against Walpole but he survived. In 1944, Winston Churchill forced the Parliament to vote on an amendment bill as a vote of confidence on his premiership and won the gamble. As politics get more fragmented and government backbenchers more rebellious, it makes no sense for contemporary governments to resign over every legislative defeat. A case in point: Theresa May resigned only after her fourth humiliating defeat in the House over Brexit, which would affect Britons for generations. Hence, if Muhyiddin fails to remove the speaker, he needs not to be seen as losing the Parliament’s confidence, although it would look good for him to table and win a vote of confidence to silence his detractors. In fact, as pointed out by PKR parliamentarian Hassan Karim, Muhyiddin even has a convenient precedent left by Mahathir, the first PM who lost on a constitutional amendment. Much ado over nothing in changing speaker? On the other hand, how much advantage would Muhyiddin gain by successfully removing Ariff (below)? If Muhyiddin’s motivation to remove Ariff is an act of vengeance on the speaker’s decision to accept Mahathir’s motion of no-confidence on the original agenda for the May 18 parliamentary session, then it makes perfect sense.

Apa terjadi jika Muhyiddin gagal singkir Ariff?

After all, Ariff is the first federal speaker that defies sitting prime ministers, a bad example that must be removed if you want a rubber stamp Parliament. However, if changing of the speaker is driven by a cool-headed calculation to keep Muhyiddin in office, I am afraid that the PM may have been ill-advised. The opposition has two ways to unseat a government. A formal motion of no-confidence can be suppressed by pushing it down to the bottom of the agenda with government businesses – Mahathir’s motion of no-confidence is now the 27th item – and a partisan speaker is useful to avoid any fast track of such motions. However, the second way – the defeat of the Budget – cannot be avoided by even the most partisan speaker in the world. Every year, when the Budget is being tabled, technically the government’s head is on the Parliament’s chopping board. When the Budget is passed, the Parliament’s axe stays in the air and the government’s head passes through the chopping board in one piece. No speaker can stop the axe from falling down. What keeps the axe in the air is the government’s majority. So, if Muhyiddin loses his majority, his government will end latest by early December when his budget must be put to vote. If the opposition has a majority, they can slowly humiliate the government by voting down every motion in the seven-week process right after Budget Day (Nov 6). Strategically speaking, dishing out cabinet and government-linked company (GLC) positions to ensure the loyalty of government MPs is indeed the rational move in that “scheme of things”, not changing the speaker. And if the government does have the majority, defeating the opposition’s motion of no-confidence will procedurally legitimise its power and stealing the latter’s thunder. Where extending government’s lifeline is concerned, changing the speaker may be a placebo rather than a magic pill. Government’s little gain, democracy’s big loss?

Some readers will now ask, how can it be possible that a little gain for the government turns to be a big loss for democracy that civil society and the opposition make a huge protest? The answer is simply this: Parliament is more than just the electoral college of the prime minister. Other than retaining/revoking confidence government and approving budgets (supply bills) – the so-called “confidence and supply” matter, we pay Parliament (RM145 million in 2019, of which RM44 million alone for MPs’ monthly allowance) to make laws and scrutinise the government. Our Dewan Rakyat needs a speaker who is both impartial and visionary to unite the MPs from across the different parties and to continue parliamentary reform: more parliamentary committees, slots for non-government business, balloting for private members’ bills, recognition for shadow cabinet and a parliamentary service commission. A partisan speaker alone can make the august House a rubber stamp by silencing the opposition and vocal government backbenchers. We have seen enough of Ariff’s predecessors in Dewan Rakyat as well as speakers in state assemblies who block lawmakers from questioning the government even suspend them just to protect the executive from embarrassment. Standing up to the executive is, therefore, the first quality that we must look for in parliamentary speakers. When Charles I entered the English Parliament in 1642 with soldiers to arrest five MPs, England’s greatest parliamentary speaker William Lenthall famously defied the king by saying: “May it please your majesty, I have neither eyes to see nor tongue to speak in this place but as this house is pleased to direct me whose servant I am here; and humbly beg your majesty’s pardon that I cannot give any other answer than this is to what your majesty is pleased to demand of me.” Ariff is the closest we have to Lenthall. He defied two prime ministers. Before defying Muhyiddin in May by accepting Mahathir’s motion, he defied Mahathir’s request to convene a special session on March 2. Had he conceded to Mahathir, who made him the speaker, Muhyiddin may not be PM today. Hence, Ariff is not a loyalist to Mahathir or Pakatan Harapan. He is a loyalist to parliamentary democracy.

Not many speakers get to be tested twice to demonstrate the independence of Parliament from PM. In passing both tests, Ariff not only can hold his head high in history, but he also made a new page in history for our Parliament. And what is the reason to remove Ariff now? The motion offers nothing except that “terdapat pencalonan lain” (there is now another candidate). This is an insult to Ariff, the new nominee Azhar Harun (above) and the office of the speaker. The speaker is not a spectacular chandelier in a white elephant building which costs RM145 million in annual maintenance that you simply replace one with another. I am an admirer for Azhar’s vision, competence and integrity. He can certainly be a great speaker, possibly no less than Ariff, in any other circumstance, and definitely a great president of the Senate. It is tragic now that Azhar is made to fill in the shoes of a giant who must be sacked for having passed the providence’s test to defy two prime ministers. Is a surprise defeat possible? If all 222 MPs give full attendance and abide by party lines, it would be a slim majority of 113 to 109. But the final numbers may be different. Any opposition MPs who are absent may raise suspicion that they will soon join the government’s bench. On the other hand, government MPs who are absent for whatever reason – food poisoning, coughs, fever or some non-medical circumstance – will help to keep a good speaker while reminding the PM of their own values. If they have not got any GLC appointment, they would likely get it before the Parliament is adjourned in August. If you want to tell the MPs to do the right thing, whether in the presence or by their absence, please sign the petition here. - Wong Chin Huat,mk

Again? this "hate-crime" need to stop!!!

cheers.

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