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#ill clean it up later tumblr is acting up
volkodava · 5 months
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Hello my Tumblr friends! Some of you liked the idea of Postapocalypse!AU, as well as the Junpei design I drew earlier. So I pulled myself together and drew portraits for the entire main cast of characters. I must say that they here are closer to the age of P4AU. It was challenging but fun to come up with designs and backstories for them that overlapped with the originals. Although I still haven't thought through some details… But I hope you will enjoy!
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FeMC/Minako/Kotone
Yes, this AU uses a female protagonist. She emerged from the Wasteland and all she knows is that she had some important mission. She is cheerful and always believes in the best. There are "XXII"-shaped scars on both sides of her head, similar to a brand. She seems to know what this is supposed to mean, but she won't tell anyone.
Status: Unknown
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Yukari
The best long-range power of SEES. She lost her father due to the fault of Mitsuru's father. She was looking for Mitsuru to take revenge, but instead she found her best friend. She can often be bitchy and sometimes too straightforward, but no one heals other people’s wounds better than her. She received a scar on her face from an unsuccessfully broken bow string.
Status: Alive
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Junpei
He makes bad jokes and swears a lot to hide his insecurities. Creates chaos almost everywhere it appears. He seems rude and ill-mannered, although he is a hopeless romantic at heart. But if you really make him angry, he destroys everything in his path (ask Takaya and Jin, oh no, sorry, no one will ask them anymore). Ultimately, his concern for Chidori allows him to shed his clown mask and show a different side of himself.
Status: Alive
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Fuuka
A mechanic girl found by SEES in a sand labyrinth. She suffers from strabismus, but this did not stop her from completely restoring Aigis and collecting several more useful items for SEES. Has a phenomenal memory. Probably the only one who never started a conflict first.
Status: Alive
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Aigis/A.I.G.I.S.
Initially, it was a cleaning robot, on which someone put a yellow wig and a ribbon. It rusted in a landfill for a long time until FeMС found it. Gradually he begins to become interested in the world around him and acquires a desire to find out what a person is and how to be one.
Status: Functioning
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Mitsuru
Official leader of SEES. Several years ago, during a shelter fire, she lost her father and was injured herself. She hides the burned part of her face under her hair. She is cold and difficult to compromise, but always acts as a negotiator between gangs of raiders, trying to extract the maximum benefit. Has many useful connections in Port Island.
Status: Alive
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Akihiko
Fan of fights without rules. More reasonable and less impulsive than Junpei, but if the two of them are together, then somewhere nearby there is trouble that they got into. Lost his little sister in a shelter fire and still tries to drown out those memories with alcohol. He often misses Shinjiro. Perhaps he was Mitsuru's partner a couple of times, but in the Wasteland no one cares who sleeps with whom.
Status: Alive
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Shinjiro
A wandering raider that periodically joins SEES and then leaves. Akihiko's former friend. Little emotional. Lost an eye in one of the raider skirmishes. He tends to evaluate people by their usefulness to society, but in the end he admits that he was wrong too often. For some time he was dependent on Strega's help, but later this developed into enmity. Alas, this did not end well.
Status: Dead
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Ken
Practically the “son of the regiment”, he was found at one of the temporary sites along with the body of his deceased mother and taken into the care of SEES. Refused to move to Port Island, choosing to stay in the shelter. Having already seen a lot of things he shouldn't have seen, he wants to become stronger to change the world. Gets close to Shinjiro, reading him as a fatherly/brotherly figure. Nevertheless, he gets very angry when he is overprotected.
Status: Alive
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Koromaru
Good boy. One day he just showed up at the shelter and everyone just accepted it. He warned everyone about the attacks several times, after which he received a collar and his own bowl. A good fighter, he always follows those who go on forays into the Wasteland. Perhaps the only one who simply enjoys life.
Status: Alive
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laprimera · 5 months
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alrighty so after some reflection and getting some outside stuff prioritized Im done some blog housework so I can get comfortable here again.
im still gonna continue my hiatus until november cause the rest of October still has a lot of rl appointments and stuff going on. ill be nuking my ask and drafts to get into maximum turtle plot overdrive and just start things clean, but here's the skinny under cut:
. Ive went and cleaned up my followers list. mostly of inactive blogs, non-mutual or blogs that haven't reached out or interacted at all. I use to think I liked a busier dash but I think trying to keep up with it had been giving me anxiety even if my muses weren't involved in anything plot wise. FOMO has been really killing my vibe more then anything and I need to cut that habit out.
you're a-okay to refollow though! I'll do the same. none of this was done out of malice or a personal dislike, and I get being so busy w/ life and personal plots that you cant interact with everyone in a convenient moment. but if you see this as an opportunity to reach out then by all means! that and I might've accidentally unfollowed one or two of you cause side-blog deal, clumbsy thumbs, and uuh, dont mind me realizing that later down the line-my bad!
. unless carefully plotted otherwise, anything outside my own canons, affiliated blogs/mains or plots is no longer canon to my own. any interaction or thread initiated towards my muses will default fall into my lore/verse unless vice versa or its plotted and etc etc. It's no longer just hanging there in the void so to speak. I need to feel more in control of my own narrative I think and trying to puzzle a lot of contradicting outside plots, dash events, etc has been mentally taxing when rp shouldn't be occupying so much space or anxiety to begin with lol.
this isn't to say everything thats happening in the dash or w/ other characters isn't important ofc! and I still want to participate; it'll just fall under a crack/non-canon tag. if things end up lining up p' well with whats going on here then I might take it into canon. This is p' much what I've been doing to begin with, it's just more concrete now and Im being more careful of what Im willing to accept now. Im ofc open to discussing stuff! DMs and disco for those who have it are open always even if I take a moment to get to it!
. Im no longer answering anon asks that are personal in some way, ie, around subject matters that aren't general headcanons asks or 'hey how do you feel about-' sorta deal. I dont feel comfortable taking it to public and while I understand having the fear of being identified, it's not fair if I'm the only one bearing the subject so to speak. If you want to talk to me through DMs you can either tell me your UN (no burners either) so I can bypass permissions here to chat or you can reach me at @shiny-miltank where my IMs are not barred to mutuals only. I don't bite really! and my discord is not public. tbh Im still very anxious about being on disco to begin w/ cause social anxiety flare ups. idk tumblr dms always seemed easier to chat until I know you on a personal basis-its just worked that way.
. making it more strict that you dont? put my geeta in place of plots, events, etc that I havent participated or plotted with, nor can you make assumptions for them based on said events. as slapped on every piece on my about/rules/pinned/etc shes heavily canon-divergent to begin with so no one knows her intentions/actions (save for me ofc) and wont act in what presumed canon-geeta would do or your own version so to speak. easy enough to slap me an IM for "is it okay to-", plotting, or just make a nebulous npc stand-in.
. things that havent changed are the use of my lore and headcanons into your own! I love seeing it integrated or adapted into other lore and seeing just how much it inspires and changes over time!
this all seems rigid but really it's just reiterating whats already in my rules and no one here has been a huge offender at all :' ) this is more for me to follow and I cant thank everyone enough for their patience and creativity for as long as I've been here. Im loosey goosey and go with the flow 90 out of 100 times.
this goes for the rest of my muses, which Ill probably clean up when Im back-but yeah! miss ya'll! hope you've been doin' good! the terrapagos plot will continue then and Ill resume reaching out and leaving details! hopefully in time for dlc ; >
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chaoticreation · 2 years
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@sonofawinchester

I'm disabled and on a low income. Please help me save my feathered daughter. Linktree in bio #foryou #cockatiel #help #vetbill #emergency #birddad

♬ original sound - sonofawinchester
tiktok
PLEASE READ AND MAKE THIS GO VIRAL. 
I know it's a long read, but it's so important, and I am LITERALLY BEGGING YOU FOR HELP! (And including the link to the original tiktok video because apparently tumblr doesn’t want to show it: https://www.tiktok.com/@sonofawinchester/video/7139692736252349739?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1)
I have had nothing but hardships since June, and am on the brink of losing everything. Our well pump died suddenly, and I went two weeks without water, begging the local gov't to help, to no avail. Instead, I was met with ableist remarks. I was forced to turn to restaurants to eat once a day, and the nearby gas station to use the bathroom. None of which were in walking distance, which took a toll on my wallet between food and gas. Finally, we had to use the money we reserved for this year's taxes to pay for the replacement pump. While we now have water, we can't afford the taxes. That means we can lose our home. Taxes are due in October and December. September's already halfway through, and combined, they're over $5,500.
In July, my feathered son, Tazmania, got sick. I took him to vets, and he seemed to be recovering with some antibiotic injections. I had to postpone his follow-up appointment due to fraudulent charges on my credit card totaling over $300, which not only maxed it out, but also meant a freeze on it. But he seemed to be doing better, so I didn't think a week would hurt. Until it did. Just 2 days before the rescheduled follow-up, he presented as extremely ill.
August 3rd, he was real bad. But no avian vets had availability, and he wasn't stable enough for the 2 and a half hour drive to ER vets. So we stuck it out. I stayed up with him all night, and he fought hard to stay with me. August 4th, the local vets stabilized him for transport, and we went to ER vets. He was hospitalized and stabilized, tests were run, and he was eating again, though he was still too weak to be his chatty self. He was discharged on August 6th, with nearly $1,800 in vet bills on my care credit, which had a limit of $2,200. 
The first charge made to my newly replaced credit card was a cremation fee of over $200. (If you don't have anything nice to say, bite your tongue off, lest this happens to you. This boy means more to me than your useless opinions, and I'm tired of having to justify this charge. My other option was to keep him in the freezer until further notice, and avoid food because seeing him in there killed my appetite. So the other option was death by starvation.) The house is too quiet without his singing, and I feel empty, but I'm still fighting for Syd.
To be safe, I took his sister, Sydney, for a checkup on August 9th. The vets gave her a clean bill of health, but as soon as we got home, she acted like she was regurgitating. Rather than be helpful, this local vet refused to run tests, that are much cheaper for them to run than an ER vet to run. A few weeks later, Syd started presenting as ill as well, so I sought help from other local vets. This, in turn, has maxed out my care credit limit. That's right, we're past the $2,200 now!
Furthermore, I found out recently from my mom, that we owe the fuel company $900 for propane. If we don't pay this, we will not get a refuel, even if we have HEAP credits. You know what that means? No heat or hot water. My mom's still in a nursing home, and there's no telling if or when she's coming home. She's in 4th stage kidney disease. Thankfully, no heat or hot water won't affect her, but it WILL affect Syd and I (if, in fact, Syd survives.) The cold will kill her, and as someone suffering with Raynaud's, the cold is excruciating for me, in just the matter of seconds. Yes, seconds. Holding a cold drink for less than a minute brings tears to my eyes. No, there's no cure, and gloves only go so far. Within minutes, with gloves on, it's unbearable. Washing in ice cold water? It would feel like frostbite, and could take me a long time just to get feeling back to my fingers once I'm done washing.
At this current point (9/15/2022) Syd has a follow-up with her vet tomorrow. I don't have money for further testing, and care credit is maxed, so I can't even charge it to that. This means I have to refuse further testing if she needs it, which she most likely will, since tests have come back inconclusive. Can I afford $14 for another antibiotic injection? If I starve myself, yes. So I will allow myself to go hypoglycemic in order to give her her medicine. But I won't be much use to her, or anyone. I've been sacrificing myself for years. She's my daughter and she's worth it. I haven't eaten in days already. At this point, I'm lucky if I eat once a week, and it's not even a full meal because I simply no longer have strength or energy to cook, which doctors love to write off or plain out ignore. 
Syd's 11th birthday is September 18th, while Taz will forever be 10 years old. I can't even give her healthcare for her birthday, and it's killing me.
So now that I've explained what's been going on, let me explain something else. I am disabled. Permanently. (I'm currently in the process of fighting to keep my SSI, which is another long story.) I was disabled before I ever stood a chance, so I didn't "earn" the "rights" that you get with SSDI. So what this means is that I make less than $900 a month. In NYS, minimum wage is $15/hr. That means the average full-time worker earns $2,400 a month before taxes. Before this, minimum wage was $7.25/hr, leaving the average full-time worker with $1,1600 a month before taxes. Think about that for five seconds. If you're disabled, you get less than what minimum wage was in **2009**. In fact, the math adds up to roughly $5.55 an hour. You're talking income from **2005.** It's 2022! You're talking less than $900 a month in a state where rents start at $1,500, and gas costs about $70 per fill-up. Where car insurance is like $300, and there's no public transit, so your only choice is to own and drive a vehicle.
I rely on commissions for these kinds of emergencies, but let's face it, I'd need a LOT more commissions than I can ever take on. My commissions ARE open, but I'm slow. I'm struggling with my own health, my mom's health, and my daughter's health. I'm mourning the loss of my son, and if I don't get some SERIOUS financial help, I'll be mourning the loss of my daughter. I have three pending commissions as it is, and that money has already gone to gas or food.
I am losing all hope in any chance of survival for either of us. I can't pay these debts. I can't afford food. I can't afford vet bills for Syd. I can't afford fuel for heat or hot water. I can't afford taxes and can end up homeless. I haven't had time to look after my own health. Not only am I being punished for being disabled, but my daughter is, too. I lose sleep over this. Every moment I'm not distracted, I spend crying. I'm crying right now. It feels like all I do anymore is cry.
Please restore some hope. Please donate if you have the means. But no matter what, PLEASE MAKE THIS VIRAL! Look at this sweet little girl! Don't let her light go out like her brother's!
Here's a link to the gofundme I made in June to replace the well pump. It clearly hasn't worked out, but I don't have the energy to start ANOTHER one. So just... donate to this one, and help Syd and I survive. Especially Syd. I don't even give a shit about me anymore. I just don't want my baby girl to die.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-disabled-mother-and-son-avoid-homelessness
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bobs-secret-blog · 1 year
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Lost hope
Giyu x reader
Authores note:first fic on tumblr and its angst. Sorry but im in the mood, hope you enyoy reading tho. Love ya ●>●
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A nurses life was at times a stressful one. Patients were at times horrible and sometimes times you had to take care of absolute perverts. But it all paid off at the end of the day. Because you could see your soon to be husband again!
His name was Yuka Imalai, he was a doctor at the small villiage hospital you worked at. He taught you everything you know. You had been dating for 2 years now and you were happy. Everything was going great between you two. Your wedding was in 2 weeks. You had planed everything from the cake to the guest lists. And you were going to have a great honeymoon.
But right now Yuka was having a code red surgery on two patients. One in a critical condition and on the blink of death, the other lost an arm. Yuka was stressed as all hell but adventualy mannaged to pull it off with them.
It was 2 days after the operation.Yuka instructed you to do some minor check ups and blood work while he gets to another surgery.
So with no time to waist you went into the first patients room, his chest was covered in bandages along with his arms and whole neck. You picked up his chart from the table.
Sanemi Shinazugawa.
Huh. Sounded almost familiar. Maybe an ex-patient perhaps? Oh weel. Whatever it was could wait after the whole checkup. So you had begun to take some blood samples, cleaning wounds and changing bandages. Finaly done.
You werw heading to the second patients room just down the hall, suprised to see he was awake. He had short black hair, ocean blue eyes. One arm was missing while the other was bandaged. He just looked at the ground the whole time. Looking so woried and deppressed. How sad. Walking over to the table you picked up a paper.
"Giyu Tomioka?"
He looked at you, eyes widening with shock. Oh man what did you do this time. He slowly says
"(Y/n) ? Is it realy you? Oh god please tell me i finaly found you again!!! Please ill never let you down again! Im sorry about Kocho , i promise"
Oh wow he must have been brain damaged.
"Sir please calm down, your going to hurt yourself again. Plus i realy dont know you sir."
Thats the moment the tears broke down. A anguishing, grief filled scream erupted from him and waterfalls from his eyes. It hurt so bad. Having been scared by his actions you quickly left the room asking a different nurse to help. She had finished up with Giyu an hour later, and let me tell you he was a menace. Franticaly trashing around and asking for only you for him. It was whatever for you, but not for Giyu. Even if you dont remember him, he remembers you.
It was two years back when he was 19, he married you when he was very young at 17. Oh how naive you were to think he could be loyal. But at first everything went great, you were the awesome couple everyone dreamed to be. Everybody was jealous of your love towards each other, even some of the demon slayers. You were as happy as you could be, spending free days with your husband. Going on vacations with him, cooking together, planning your future, talking about children for the future. Everything was perfect....
Until Giyu started acting weird.
He was rarely home for dinners, didnt take the bentos you made him. He didnt even want to sleep with you in your bed anymore. It started to be suspicious towards you, so you came up with a conclusion. He was cheating on you.
You thought you were crazy at frist, a mad woman thinking her husband who kills demons for a job is being unloyay to her? Yeah thats it. You were done with his bullshit after a couple of months. Wanting to just go away from him and be happy again like you were at the start of your marriage. You wanted the divorce. And oh yes,
you fucking got it.
One night at 12pm when you were on the verge of tears, waiting for Giyu to come home. He wasnt even on a mission, so where was he ? Just as you began to lose hope the door to your house had slammed open. Revealing a messy haired Giyu. His cheeks pink and blushy. Buttons of his uniform unbuttoned at the top. "Where were you Giyu?"
"Out on a patrol, saving people (Y/n). Cant you ever get that through your thick skull?"
" Dont lie to me Giyu, you didnt have patrols tonight. You were with someone. Just please. Tell me who it is so i can let it go." He didnt even fucking look at you while you were talking.
"Giyu just fucking tell m-"
"It was Kocho god dammit! It was always her! From the first day that i met her i feel in love! I love her more than i will ever love you, she is more perfect in so many ways! I love HER !"
You knew it. It was always her, how could you be so blind all this time?
With one final look at him, you grabbed your bags and headed ot to live with your family. Only until you got back onto your feet and started working somewhere.
Your mama and papa were super supportive along with ypur brother Eiji and big sisters Fumiko and Rina. You found a job as a nurse in a small hospital. And there you met Yuka, he was everything you had ever wanted from a partner. But the most important thing was that you were happy.
Unlike Giyu. Kocho made his life a living hell. Bullying him to such agony, he was happy she died earlyer than him. He cried his heart out. Hoping that maybe one day he will meet you. Adventualy he did, in the hospital. But to what? You didnt remember him.
He cried all night. Wanting to see you again after a week, only to be told you had gone away.
It has now been 3 yeears since you married Yuka and you were very happy. You had twins now! You decided to name them Hiroki and Tsuneo. Both boys having looks on their mother. Only having their fathers strange orange eyes.
As for Giyu, he was still searching for you. He spent all he had on his travels. Including the once precious sword he fought battles with. After some time he had stoped. Lost all hope. Now laying at the back of his house next to the bedroom window. The same one you used to sing through in the morning. In the house you both used to live in, and the house you left.
And there he laid on the grass, blood preciously pouring out of his body. Ravens pecking his skin here and there, blood starting to dry up. Maybe he didnt feel happy in the real world, but here in the afterlife he is widely smilling. Beacause he is here with you, thats all he had. And thats all he will ever get for now. Still hoping that he will find you in another life. Where you will be happy and free of troubles.
But for now this happiness will have to do, until you come back to him again.
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urdadthinksimfine · 6 months
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Day 3
Im mad at me how healing wounds is my priority again, a major focus for my attention, when it was healed just before my last relapse. What wouldve been my focus now, that I have acceptable skin?
Probably enduring how my skin is still breaking out, and being clean doesnt look clean or feel clean at all for me, how everything makes me cravy and destroyi and everything is destroyable and my perfectionism gets lit when there are no wounds, but just outbreaks.
.
Im going to sports courses, though, trying to give me a different body feel. I cant be a dainty cute girl, maybe ill look less dirty, if my body was more defined, even though its boxy and boyish.
.
I want to have a good and working skin care routine, nice products that work and a lush looking and smooth skin because of it. I want to know what my skin and body needs.
Skin care routine wise,
nutrition wise with antioxidants and shit, making my outbreaks less and making me more energetic,
exercise and body wise, what my body and mind and skin needs for getting its juices flowing, blood circulation and reducing stress and stuff,
media wise, what does it give me to share and write down, presenting myself officially, even though no one needs to read or react, with ranty-tumblr, aesthetic-tumblr, longing-tumblr..
.
If been looking up nutrition for people with athritis, how to reduce inflammation and stuff.. im very cravy right now, with everything that i want but dont do or am, i know, i just wonder what it takes from me to be able to do all that..
Eating the right stuff,
cooking with herbs that do stuff,
making things pretty,
knowing what to heat and what not.
How can i act different than i do.. i dont do stuff, that i want to, because im too scared to commit to one decision. in every way. but in this case it prevents me from putting shelves on the walls, purchasing real furniture, making places for things, like tupper for herbs and racks for dishes or flatware. even more difficult, putting color onto my walls, getting decoration of any kind, blenders for the windows.
.
At least Im doing my resolutions:
not destroying!
only 1 sweet snack per day (like 1 can of sugary drink, 1 piece of pie, 1 sugared coffee..)
at least 1 urban sports course per day
Other things with a little less priority:
meditating
inquiry and sitting a table
handle things on my own, instead of discussing it with my inner circle
I need to get some kind of clearity, of what I want and what is just a reaction to stress (like wanting to move cities, going to Japan or staying for a job), what do I want to do in the future (what would i like to study and/ or work later), what are my interests (maths, social problems, biologic matters, music, organizing and planning stuff, what is hobby-worthy and what would i wanna do for a job) and what and who do i wanna be, like someone completely different and try very new new things or should i pay more attention to what i think are my limits, to what is stressing me out?
"Who am I when I dont destroy myself" kinda thing.. Right now I really, really, wanna leave, the city or the country and get away, because I feel constricted. What if thats just me, with my own limitation from my addiction?
I miss the sentou and its meditative atmosphere. I miss how alone i was with my thoughts, feelings and time back there. I want that. I feel like I cant think around my people, like I cant find out what I really want.
when I came back from Japan I was so sure that I dont want to and I shouldnt stay in Berlin. I knew, I needed to change cities. and then.. I dont want to blame it on other pleople, but then she got so suicidal that I thought, whats worse, living here, giving what I can, or leaving and living with the guilt? I know and I was told that this was the wrong motive to stay, but I did and I got comfortable here.
The question is, is leaving just running away? or is leaving the healthy thing to do for me, with my way of being and with my circle being a bit.. co-dependent. どうするの?
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shiningstages · 1 year
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@jardinae - 🌻 speak thy mind freely .
new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want
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this ask has been sitting in my inbox for forever...........still don't know exactly what i want to ramble about though.
ummmmm retail sucks. working in it, i mean. i'm definitely in the camp of "be nice to your retail workers" / "if you think retail is so easy why don't you work in it?", just because the customers i deal with are either super understanding or sweet, or super negative / haughty / full-of-themselves when i'm helping them. it helps that i act how i want ( very cute~ ) unless you get me mad, but i've also gained a sort of confidence and seriousness from working in retail? but i'm also just done with it and am so sleepy vfggfgchfcfchnc
also i wanna write here!!!!!!!! so bad!!!!!!!!! but because of work the energy has been nonexistent, especially since i work in the later hours nowadays, and that just drains me even more since i'm a night owl and wanna like. do things. at night. so i stay up until 2am when i get home around 11pm from an 8/9 hour shift. and get more sleepy. (when i start school again dude i swear......25 hours a week max; i need more days to myself)
back to writing, i haven't forgotten about........some of the ideas i've had hjgfhghgkhgjh i'm gonna make that atlas gbf oc!!!!!! that's like at the forefront of my mind, but going through replicard sandbox (for the first time hehe) i'm like "...........should i make this guy like an opposite of The World (says girl who hasn't even finished the story in arcacum however it's spelled aaaaa)" because that Would be funny. but then i'm also like "if i made this guy At All, it would be at least a little bit of world building importance in him, and that energy is Not present" because it's atlas........we all remember the tale of atlas yes? maybe????? (has to look it up again)
ANYWAYS i also wanna make a starter call at some point. i have a lot i need to get done outside of here and work (get AC in car fixed, get a couple tires replaced Eventually, same thing with the battery, get my transfers / application for other university done (most important to me rn), get my hair cut (will probably happen first), do all my laundry / do a closet cleanout Again, clean the rest of my room, etc.) BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna be here because it's fun and nice and calm here ggjhgjfhgfghfjcf calm for me anyways!!!!!! tumblr is...........tumblr, as we all know, but i've gotten a lot of memories and joy out of it, and i wanna write and be here!!!!!!!!! so i'm gonna look at my drafts, see what i can do there when i have time......then starter call / i'll just run headfirst into someone's askbox hfhfgcghfjgghcfg
ALSO TO END OFF AS I WAS WRITING A WASP GOT IN THE KITCHEN AND I FREAKED but i was gonna try and be brave and kill it because my dad's on a call, AND THEN MY DAD KILLED IT FOR ME WHILE HE WAS ON A CALL; WHAT A HERO!!!!!!!!!!! okay that's it; now i have to get dressed for work fggfdfghjghgcvjg
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goldenkirstein · 3 years
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purple stars 🥱😴😪 (lame,,, not cool) ----> BLUE stars 🥶🥵🤯 (super cool)
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themagnuswriters · 4 years
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Writing a Muslim Character
The Mods of the Magnus Writers discord server and community are putting together a variety of resources for Magnus Archives fan creators; these have been collated from articles on the topics, our own experiences, and the experiences of the members of the Magnus Writers discord. These are definitely not comprehensive or the only viewpoints out there, and are by no means meant as a way to police fanworks, but as a way to support and inspire fan creators in creating thoughtful and diverse works. Please note that external links will be added in a reblog to outsmart tumblr’s terrible tagging system, so make sure to check those out as well!
This resource in particular was put together by Mod Jasmine: hi, all! 
While there are no canonically Muslim characters in TMA, Muslim headcanons are common in fanworks—particularly for Basira, and sometimes Jon (which I love to see!). I have cobbled together this post from my own experiences to help support and inform fans in these areas, and as part of my diabolical plan to get more Muslim!Basira and Muslim!Jon fics to shove into my brain.
First, two gigantic caveats:
I was raised Sunni Muslim in Egypt, which is a majority Sunni Muslim country, and still live there. This means my experience will be very different from someone raised in a majority Christian country like the UK, and different again if they are not Sunni and not Arab.
I am currently ex-Muslim. This does not mean I bear any ill will towards Islam or Muslims, just that it wasn’t for me, and I felt it was important to be upfront about that. I’ll be linking to resources by practicing Muslims in the reblog to this post, whether to add to my opinions and experiences or provide you with a different opinion. I am not here to put my voice over that of Muslims, just to do some of the work so they don’t have to. Obviously, if any Muslims have any additions or suggestions for this post, I’m happy to accommodate them.
Alright. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get started with the basics of writing a Muslim character.
(Warning: this is absurdly, absurdly long)
Basics:
Muslims follow two main sources of religious instruction: Quran and Hadith. 
The Quran is the holy book, considered to be dictated by the angel Gabriel to the Prophet Mohammed, who then relayed what he was told to his followers. It is composed of surahs, or chapters, which have individual ayat, or verses. There are no varying versions of the Quran, later additions, or anything considered lost in translation. Any Arabic Quran is considered to be the same text that the Prophet Mohammed relayed, unchanged. As a result, while Muslims can debate interpretations of the Quran (although that’s often still left to the scholars), none debate the actual words of the text.
Hadith, meanwhile, are the sayings or teachings of the Prophet Mohammed. Their validity can be disputed, as they were written by his followers after his death, and mainly depend on having several witnesses for a specific saying or situation. The more witnesses there were, the more valid the hadith is considered to be.
When in doubt or should there be any contradiction between the Quran and Hadith, Muslims will always refer to the Quran first and foremost.
Denominations:
The bigggest (but not only!) divisions of Islam are Sunni and Shia, and both of those have separate madhabs, which are the separate thoughts and stances of specific Imams. When writing a Muslim character, a good first step would be to decide where your character’s family might have come from, as that could help inform which denomination your character might belong to. This will in turn inform things like the beliefs they grew up with, how they pray, their holy holidays, and so on. Obviously, all denominations fall under the bigger umbrella of Muslim, but can vary in practice.
Background:
The intersection of culture and religion affects a character beyond which denomination they likely belong to, such as whether they call prayer salah or namaz, the foods they might associate with Ramadan or Eid, and their community’s stance on things like hijab and alcohol.
One thing to keep in mind is that being Muslim is not synonymous with being Arab and vice versa. Not all Arabs are Muslim, not all Muslims are Arab or even Middle Eastern. In fact, the largest Muslim country in the world is Indonesia. That said, depending on your character’s race and backround, there is the potential they may have faced Arab elitism or other strands of racism within Muslim circles. Please see the reblog of this post for an article about  one Black British Muslim woman’s experience with racism.
And, of course, your character and their family do not need to have been immigrants at all. They or their family may have been converts instead. According to most Muslim schools of thought, all that’s required for a person to be Muslim is stating the shahada in Arabic, honestly and with intent. It goes, “Ashhadu an la ilah illa Allah, wa an Mohammadan rasul Allah,” which translates as “I bear witness that there is no god but God, and that Mohammed is His prophet.” Shia Muslims, I believe, have an additional section, but otherwise that’s it. Recite that in front of witnesses with sincere belief and that’s all you need to be Muslim.
Pillars of Islam:
These are the duties or cornerstones of a Muslim’s faith and considered to be acts every Muslim should strive for. What the pillars are can, I think, differ between denominations, with Shia Muslims having additional ancillaries as well (any Shia readers, please feel free to correct me!) but both denominations agree that the following are important:
Salah—prayer
Sawm—fasting during Ramadan
Zakat—giving a certain percentage of income to charity or the community
Hajj—pilgrimage to Mecca
In all cases, these are considered mandatory only for those who are able. A person who cannot perform hajj, whether due to not being physically able to or lacking the funds to travel, is under no obligation.
Prayer:
Prayer is performed five times a day while facing the Qibla, which is the direction of Mecca. Prayer is formed of units, called rak’at, which consists of a set of actions done in a specific order. The “How to Pray Salah, Step by Step” article linked in the reblog of this post provides fairly good prayer instructions for beginners, so check it out for details!  These include bowing, prostrating, and reciting some surahs. 
Each of the five daily prayers has a different number of rak’at, as well as its own name and allotted time of day, as follows:
Fajr, which means Dawn and can be performed at any point until the sun rises (two rak’at). 
Dhuhr, which means Noon (four rak’at)
Asr, performed in the afternoon (four rak’at)
Maghreb, which means sunset and can be performed at any point until it’s dark (three rak’at)
Isha, performed at night and can be done at any point until dawn (four rak’at)
The specific time of prayer will differ day to day and place to place, according to the sun, but those are the rough timeframes for each. It’s generally preferred that a Muslim does their prayer on time, but in practice some Muslims find it difficult to wake up for Fajr, for instance, and just try to make sure they get a morning prayer in before noon.
On Friday, there is a congregational Friday prayer at Dhuhr in a mosque called the Jumu’a prayer (which, fun fact, literally means gathering and is also the Arabic name for Friday!). Only men are required to take part in the congregation, however.  
In Muslim majority countries, the time for prayer is announced by the adhaan, the call to prayer, from mosques and in media. This won’t be the case in the UK, and the character will likely have to rely on an adhaan app or looking up what time prayer should be. 
There are various requirements for a prayer to be correct, chief of which is facing the Qibla and purity. Before performing prayer, a Muslim must purify themself by performing wudu, or ablutions, which basically involves washing the hands, arms, nostrils, face, head, and feet a specific number of times using clean water. The way I was taught these must be performed in a certain order, and the person shouldn’t speak during or after until their prayer is finished. This may be different for others.
Wudu is considered valid until nullified by bodily functions such as urinating, defecating, vomiting, flatulence, or any sexual activity. For Sunni Muslims, it’s also invalidated by going to sleep. If none of these have happened, a Muslim can perform more than one prayer using the same wudu.
Notably, a Muslim cannot pray if they’re on their period, as they’re considered in a state of impurity. 
Another important requirement is that a Muslim be dressed modestly for prayer. The general guideline is that Muslim men should cover the area between their navel and knees with loose, non-revealing clothing, and that during prayer it’s preferred that they cover their chests as well  Muslim women should cover everything except their face, hands, and feet. This means that a woman who isn’t hijabi would still wrap a hijab for prayer. For nonbinary Muslims, I don’t think there are specific guidelines yet, although please feel free to correct me. 
If praying at home, a family may choose to pray together. In this case, the male head of the household usually stands at the front and acts as Imam, leading the prayer. Other men will tend to be in front of or beside women, as generally women should not pray in front of a man. This is the case even, especially, if he is not praying.
Children aren’t required to pray, as they’re considered innocent and have no obligations, but may want to take part early on or may be encouraged to practice.
Praying is one area you’ll find denominational differences. For example, while Sunnis fold their arms in prayer, Shia keep their arms to their side, and while Shia Muslims make sure their foreheads touch a piece of clay or earth when they prostrate, Sunnis do not. If you write your character praying, keep these details in mind.
Fasting:
During the holy month of Ramadan, Muslims fast from Fajr (dawn) until Maghreb (sunset) every day. This means they abstain from consuming anything—yes, even water, cigarettes, and medicine. They should also abstain from sexual activities and cursing. Most importantly, they must have the intention to be fasting. This means that not eating and drinking because they were asleep for that entire period of time or just lost track and forgot does not count as fasting.
Generally, the idea is more to try to be more pious and avoid sin throughout the month. It’s thought that the shaytan (or devil) is chained up during Ramadan, so any temptation or sinning is a person’s own doing. The way I was raised, I was taught that sawm/fasting is invalidated by sexual thoughts  and raising your voice as well. Many people also try to dress more modestly during Ramadan, with some women opting for looser clothing or a headscarf. Many Muslims will try to read the whole Quran during Ramadan. 
After Maghreb, Muslims break their fast with Iftar (which means breakfast, hah) and have a late night meal called Suhour. Since the Muslim calendar is a lunar calendar, Ramadan is 11 days earlier every year. Depending on when Ramadan falls in the year, there can be barely any time between iftar and suhour in certain parts of the world, as the sun is up for so much of the day. 
Given the length of time and difficulty involved, there are exceptions and allowances for fasting. A person is not required to fast if they are:
A child (up to puberty)
Ill or has a medical condition such as diabetes
Pregnant
Travelling
On their period
In fact, if they are on their period it will not be counted, even if they do fast. That said, sometimes people choose to fast while travelling anyway, as travel is less strenuous now than it used to be. If they’re crossing time zones they will have to consider which time zone they’re breaking their fast to. As far as I remember, it’s based on the time zone of the place they just left or started their fast in. 
If an obstacle to fasting is temporary, such as their period, they’re expected to make those days up with additional fasting before next Ramadan. Otherwise, they are allowed to make up for the lost fast in another way, such as by donating money or feeding fasting people. Whether due to societal pressure (which is formidable in Muslim-majority countries) or out of consideration for others who are fasting, those who are not fasting for whatever reason may often choose to hide this and only eat in secret.
If a person forgets they were fasting or accidentally consumes something, it does not invalidate the fast , and as soon as they remember or realise the mistake they can have the intention to fast again and continue with their day. 
While children are exempt, many families will start them off by fasting for half a day so they can build up to a full day when they hit puberty.
Ramadan traditions vary wildly from country to country and culture to culture, but generally it’s a time for family gathering and celebration. Often there are special Ramadan-specific food, drink, and decorations, and it ends with Eid ul-Fitr which has its own specific foods and celebrations. Basically, imagine if Christmas lasted a month. That’s how big a deal Ramadan is. 
In my experience, the first few days are usually the hardest. Water is what I tended to miss the most, even if I managed to stay up long enough or set an alarm to wake up to drink just before fajr, followed closely by swearing. Anyone who drinks caffeine or smokes cigarettes will likely find abstaining from those more difficult than water. By the end of the month, though, it gets much easier and I often got to the point where I barely noticed. I will say, however, that the longest I’ve had to fast has been maybe 16 hours. A summer Ramadan in the UK would be more difficult due to the much later sunsets.
Halal and Haram:
Halal means “permissible,” while haram means “forbidden.”  You might have heard these words in passing before, such as halal food, but they are used for many areas of life.  
Things that are considered haram include:
Consuming, serving, or trading in intoxicants, such as alcohol
Consuming improperly slaughtered meat or meat from forbidden animals, such as pork
Extramarital sex
Tattoos
Gambling
Men wearing silk or gold
A Muslim woman marrying a non-Muslim man (although it’s fine for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman)
Being immodest
Modesty is expected of all genders, including men. If you’ll recall from the section on prayer, the general guideline for male modesty is that they should cover the area between their navel and knees with loose, non-revealing clothing. Note that for women, modesty does not necessarily involve wearing a hijab.  There is actually a ton of controversy as to whether the hijab is a fard (requirement) or not, as described in the following section.
The Hijab:
To be hijabi takes more than just throwing on a headscarf. As a word, hijab means “barrier” or “veil,” and a hijabi person would be expected to cover everything except their face and the palms of their hands, and to ensure that their clothes are loose and non-revealing.  It all comes from an interpretation of two verses in the Quran that many scholars nowadays agree to mean the hijab is required, and that some say actually call for a face covering as well, which is called a niqab. 
This wasn’t always the case, however, and these days there is still the occasional controversial scholar (I remember a few kerfuffles coming out of Egypt’s Al-Azhar mosque recently) saying it isn’t and has never been required at all. At least in the Arab world, this is largely due to the wave of Wahhabism (which is a specifically fundamentalist interpretation of Islam) that’s taken over the region in the past half a century. Before that, the idea of a hijab being a religious requirement was less widespread.
I’m not here to argue who’s right or wrong, just to make you aware that the hijab as we know it today hasn’t always been considered a requirement for a Muslim woman. Most of the women of my family never wore any form of head covering, but more and more they are an exception rather than the norm.
The choice of whether to wear a hijab can mean very different things, depending on the surrounding culture. For instance, my grandmother, the strictest woman I have ever known, got married in a very cute sleeveless dress that went just under the knees, and when she grew older she wore a head-covering more as a cultural indication of age rather than any religious reason. In my generation, in a country with a Muslim majority, lack of visible signs of devoutness have become almost a class marker, with some upper-class women using their lack of head-covering as a sign that they are “more Westernized” or “modern.” And again, I want to emphasize that this is the case for my country only. 
This will be completely different for Muslim minorities, where the hijab can become a symbol of pride and unity.
I will say that it’s very rare for women to be forced into getting veiled, whether in Muslim minority or majority countries. I’m not saying it never happens, just that it’s not the “oppressive tool of the patriarchy” outsiders sometimes think it is. Women may face some societal pressure, but by and large it is considered a choice and often an empowering one. In fact, I have friends whose families discouraged them from wearing a hijab too young and emphasized only taking the decision when they were sure they wanted to. If writing a Muslim character when you’re non-Muslim, I strongly suggest not trying to tackle the story of someone forced into a hijab, as there’s a lot of nuance there and it’s very easy to fall into harmful stereotypes. The hijabi woman who gets “liberated” and takes off her hijab is also overdone and harmful. Please don’t.
Everyday Life:
Muslims are not a monolithic entity, and some will be more devout or religious than others. There are those who will pray their five a day and others who only pray during Ramadan or Eid, some who don’t drink and some who do, hijabis who dress only in loose clothing and those who wear tight trousers or show some of their hair, some who have tattoos, and some who may date or even have sex before marriage. However, this isn’t a carte-blanche not to do research when writing a Muslim character, because even if they break a rule of Islam, they will be conscious of it, may be concerned about their community’s response to it, and in any case will be affected by it.
For instance, I know many Muslims who drink alcohol. Some interpret the text differently, saying that since the sin is getting drunk then they won’t drink enough to get drunk, just buzzed. Some only do it on special occasions or on vacation, saying they know it’s a sin but it’s fine on occasion and they’ll repent later. All of them would probably dive under a table if they thought their family was nearby.
For more opinions on Muslims and dealing with alcohol, take a look at the “Islam and Alcohol” article linked in the reblog of this post.
Here are things that a character who is a practicing Muslim might do or be concerned about in their day to day life:
Checking ingredients to make sure they’re all halal. This goes for things like food, drink, medicine, anything consumable. Things like gelatine capsules are only halal if the source of the gelatine is itself halal, for instance.
Keeping up with their prayers. With five prayers a day, some will inevitably happen while they’re out of the house. Some Muslims prefer to just group their prayers when they get home, but since it’s preferable to do prayers on time, others may try to pray while out and about This means considering the following:
Finding a bathroom for wudu. Part of wudu involves washing feet and the head, which isn’t feasible in a public location or if the person is hijabi and doesn’t want to unwrap and rewrap their hijab. In that case, they can generally wipe a wet hand over their socks and top of their head covering. 
They may carry a prayer carpet or have one stashed in a convenient location, but it’s not a must.
Finding a clean and secluded place to pray. Generally, it’s not done to pray in a place where someone will pass in front of you, and a woman must also take care to pray away from men’s eyes. 
Figuring out where the Qibla is. Luckily, there are apps for that.
If a woman is not hijabi, she would have to carry a veil and, depending on her clothes, something to cover up so she can pray.
If they’re hijabi, they’ll probably have to adjust or re-wrap their hijab throughout the day, depending on the material and their activities. This would typically happen in bathrooms or any other space that doesn’t include men, as they can’t reveal themselves to any men who aren’t of their immediate family. For more on the hijab, and the day to day realities of wearing and wrapping one, take a look at the links provided in the reblog of this post.  
A Muslim woman may choose not to accept handshakes from men who aren’t family.  She has probably considered how to deal with that potential awkwardness.
If they’re fasting, they might carry some dates or biscuits or something in case they need to break their fast while on the go.
If making plans, they might say, “Insha’allah” which means “God willing.” I was always admonished to do so to acknowledge the future is entirely within God’s hands.
If asked how they are, they might reply with “Alhamdullilah” which means “Thanks be to God.”
When starting to eat, they may say, “Bismillah,” which means “In the name of God” and when done eating may say “Alhamdullilah.” These can also be invoked silently.
As you might have noticed, Allah’s name is invoked pretty often. While it’s not preferable to swear using God’s name just to make a point (“Wallahi”), there’s nothing against it, really.
Fundamentally, an important thing to remember is that Islam is a religion of ease and not hardship. This is an actual Quranic quote. What this means is, it may seem like there are a lot of rules to keep in mind, but there are also a ton of allowances for when those rules aren’t feasible, just like the case for fasting above. Other allowances include how an elderly or disabled person who may not be able to perform the motions of prayer can pray while sitting in a chair or even lying in bed. If there isn’t any clean water to purify before prayer or if using the water would mean lack of drinking water, a Muslim can use dust or sand to purify, and if no dust or sand is available then they don’t need to purify at all and can simply pray. 
This means that, say, if your Muslim Jon wants to pray while kidnapped by the circus, he can, even without being able to perform wudu, even without knowing where the Qibla is, even without being able to move or say anything at all.
For more day-to-day tidbits, check out the “More on writing Muslim characters” link in the reblog of this post. 
LGBTQ Muslims:
Needless to say, Queer Muslims absolutely do exist, and their being Muslim doesn’t cancel out their queerness or vice versa. While there are Quranic verses that have been interpreted as condemning homosexuality, there are also other interpretations, and queerness has existed in Muslim societies for ages. There was a ton of homoerotic imagery among Abbasid poets during the Golden Age of Islam, for example. 
However, modern-day attitudes can be difficult to get around, and queer Muslims may have difficulty finding their place in both Muslim spaces and queer spaces, the latter which often expect them to reject religiosity.
Although I am queer myself, I don’t feel it’s my place to speak for queer Muslims and their relationships with their communities beyond this, so I’ll let some queer practicing Muslims speak for themselves.  Please see the reblog of this post for valuable contributions from queer Muslims about their experiences.  
Miscellaneous:
This is mostly for all the random tidbits I thought up while writing this that didn’t fit anywhere else and also because I don’t know when to quit apparently, SO!
Allah is just Arabic for God. Muslims can and do use these terms interchangeably, such as saying “God willing,” instead of “Inshallah,” even in an Arabic-speaking country. 
Also, God has 99 names! Just a fun fact for you there. 
The Devil in Islam is pretty different from his Christian counterpart. Referred to as Iblis or Shaytan, among other names, he is not a fallen angel and there is no great revolt story, nor is he considered a root of all evil. Instead, he is a djinn made of smokeless flame who refused to bow down to Adam, as he felt he was made of superior stuff and not about to bow to a creature made of mud. His disdain for humanity is what has caused him and other shayateen/demons to try and tempt humans.
A person’s right hand is considered purer than their left, so it’s encouraged to always eat with your right hand. Unfortunately, this does mean left-handed people face something of a stigma—or at least that’s the case here in Egypt. My cousins, both lefties, both eat with their right hand, though they  do everything else with their left.
Similarly, it is considered better to enter spaces with your right foot, though only the most devout are likely to think of this all the time. This is especially considered for entering a mosque or new home.
A Muslim might say or write “Peace be Upon Him” whenever the Prophet Mohammed is mentioned, written as (PBUH), and “Subhanuh wa Taala” when mentioning Allah, written as (SWT).
The Evil Eye is mentioned in the Quran as “hasad,” and considered to be a very real thing. This jealous or envious energy is considered able to ruin good things in your life, even if the jealous person didn’t intend to. There are some surahs that are considered good to ward against it, as well as incense, the colour blue, the number five, and the symbols of the nazar (which is a round, blue-ringed eye) and the khamsa (an open five-fingered palm, also known as the Hand of Fatima). The nazar, khamsa, and belief in the evil eye aren’t unique to Islam at all. What is unique to Islam is that a Muslim might preface a compliment with “Masha’allah” which means “As God wills it,” to ward off their own evil eye. 
Much of the Quran in Arabic rhymes and is very poetic, which can make surahs easy to memorise by rhythm. It can also make recitations by a skilled reader very lovely.
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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years
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Chapter 3 ao3  (alt: tumblr pt 1, pt 2)
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Lan Qiren wanted to speak to Wei Wuxian about everything they needed to do, but it would have to wait: the moment they arrived, they were immediately swept up into the political mess that Jin Zixun’s ill-fated ambush had caused.
Jin Guangshan was there in the blink of an eye, despite normally taking his time in seeing anyone, and Lan Qiren didn’t like the way he started making excuses for his nephew’s behavior from the very start. It was to a certain degree understandable, as everyone would first incline towards defending their family, but the haste with which Jin Guangshan sought to sweep it all under the rug was disconcerting, and Lan Qiren thought it was almost suggestive of some level of premeditation. Even more distasteful, however, was how he sought to twist the entire event into being yet another reason Wei Wuxian ought to surrender the Stygian Tiger Seal to the Jin sect: for his own good, of course, in order to avoid being made into a target on account of the disdain of the cultivation world –
“Sect Leader Jin, your words are in poor taste,” Lan Qiren said sharply.
He could hear Jiang Cheng, who ought to be defending Wei Wuxian and was trying his stuttering best to do so, starting to waver; the boy had a pleasant rippling melody by nature, forced into a fierce allegro by his parents’ endless disputes and his later tragedies, and the weak foundation meant that he was too easily buffeted by uncertainty and doubt, as Jin Guangshan undoubtedly knew.
“Let us not speak in abstraction,” he continued. “It was your sect, your nephew, who launched this particular ambush. You ought to be making a formal apology to Wei Wuxian and thinking of reparations to repair the injury to your sect’s reputation, not acting like a thief complaining to the magistrate that his victim failed to hand over his property quickly enough to prevent violence!”
Jin Guangshan’s eyes narrowed in irritation, though he fought to keep the expression off his face as if it could disguise the swell of bitter rotten music that accompanied him wherever he went. “Teacher Lan,” he said, striving for composed and charming but mostly coming off as stiff and wooden. “Come now, I must be misunderstanding you. Surely you are not accusing me of being a thief.”
Historically, as Jin Guangshan well knew, this was when Lan Qiren backed down, mindful of his position as interim sect leader – his sect granted him much of the responsibility but not the full measure of power that typically accorded with the title, and he was conscious, always, that his role was to ensure there was something preserved for his nephews to inherit.
Perhaps Jin Guangshan had forgotten that Lan Qiren was no longer interim sect leader.
“I am describing the facts as I see them,” he said icily, straightening his back and levelling his best teacher’s glare, refined by years of troublesome students. “And they are this: by the agreement of the cultivation world and through his own powers, Wei Wuxian was inviolate and unbothered as long as he remained in the Burial Mounds. Despite this, he willingly chose to emerge in response to an invitation issued by your sect, only to be attacked by your sect – and when he comes to you for justice, rather than grant it to him, you suggest that he hand over his most prized possession to prevent any similar attacks in the future. Unfamiliarity may require me to consult my sect’s texts to be sure, Sect Leader Jin, but only to determine if I should be calling it extortion, blackmail, or outright thievery!”
“Teacher Lan!” one of the smaller sect leaders gasped, even as Jin Guangshan went utterly florid with rage. “You’re not suggesting that Jin-gongzi was involved in the ambush!”
Lan Qiren had been Jin Zixuan’s teacher and knew him well – he had been a shy, introverted boy whose awkwardness came off as aloofness, and would never have done anything like this. Even less so would Lan Qiren suspect such a thing of the man who had been steadied by war and responsibility into an adult with a firm moral foundation.
“No,” he said, and met Jin Guangshan’s eyes directly. “I believe Jin-gongzi’s invitation to have been wholly sincere.”
For a moment, Lan Qiren thought Jin Guangshan was actually going to strike him, his aura lashing out violently like a clash of cymbals, discordant and biting, and he braced himself, but in the last moment etiquette prevailed and Jin Guangshan refrained, although his fists were clenched so tightly that his veins stood out from the backs of his hands.
That was when Wei Wuxian opened his mouth.
Lan Qiren silenced him with the muting spell before he could get out a single syllable.
Jiang Cheng sent him a thankful glance and cleared his throat. “This is a serious matter,” he said. “It requires a full investigation; we won’t be able to solve it all talking now. Both Wei Wuxian and Teacher Lan have traveled a long way – I have no doubt that they need some time to rest and refresh themselves.”
A convenient way to stop anyone from starting a fight, and implicitly excusing Lan Qiren’s rudeness as a mere symptom of exhaustion, resolving the whole thing without losing any more face for anyone. The Jiang sect’s boy was picking up this whole politics business quite well, the poor child.
“I concur,” Jin Guangshan said, recovering a little of his poise. “There are rooms ready for you both.”
Lan Qiren inclined his head as well. “An excellent idea,” he said, and then, because he could now, added, “We can discuss reparations for the ambush later.”
“And what about the curse?” Jin Zixun hissed, clearly done with holding his tongue the way everyone had been so obviously instructing him with their eyes. “Am I to simply suffer while that criminal walks free and unharmed?”
“When I said there would be an investigation, I meant it!” Jiang Cheng snapped. “I doubt your curse is so advanced that it can’t wait another day, and if it is, then you should have brought it up earlier!”
“Why you –“
“Sect Leader Jiang has spoken,” Jin Zixuan interrupted, his voice hard. “Zixun, don’t forget that you must also answer to me as to what you did to my guest in my name without my permission. I think it might benefit you to ‘rest and refresh’ as well. One of the servants can take you to see a doctor.”
Jin Guangshan seemed on the verge of objecting, but Jin Zixuan seemed not to get the hint, already turning his face away.
“In the meantime,” he said, saluting politely, “Sect Leader Jiang, Wei-gongzi, would you come with me? A-Li is waiting to see you both.”
Lan Qiren allowed himself to be whisked off in a different direction to settle down, which in all honesty he did need to do. He hadn’t flown such a distance in years, had been in better health when he’d done so, and he had been tired even before all this excitement; some rest would do wonders for him, even if it did make him feel a bit like he’d become a doddering old man or an invalid. Before he could settle down, though, he heard a sound approaching – a little uneven, sometimes too fast, sometimes too slow – and despite the fact that Jin Guangyao had never been anything but polite to him, he felt his back tense up at the reminder of why he was here in the first place.
“Honored teacher,” Jin Guangyao said, smiling and saluting deeply – more than he should, really, given that Lan Qiren was neither a sect leader nor had ever been his teacher. “Welcome to Jinlin Tower. I regret that your arrival was marred by such unpleasantness, and hope that the remainder of your visit is calmer.”
It’s not Jin Guangyao’s fault that Lan Xichen likes him, Lan Qiren reminded himself. Your suspicions, and your family’s terrible luck at love, are your own burdens to bear. They should not be put onto others.
He nodded to Jin Guangyao.
“It would be good to see a peaceable resolution to today’s events,” he said neutrally. “I appreciate that you have come to check on me personally. It is truly going above and beyond the call of duty.”
“Your nephew is my sworn brother, Teacher Lan. How could I fail to honor you as my elder?” Jin Guangyao said smoothly. “Let me know if there’s anything we can do to make you more comfortable.”
“A bath before dinner would be nice. Has my nephew arrived yet?” Lan Qiren privately hoped that he hadn’t, and was relieved when Jin Guangyao shook his head, confirming it. “Let me know when he does.”
“Of course,” Jin Guangyao said, and saluted again. “I’ll inform the servants; a bath will be made ready for you by afternoon.”
The moment Jin Guangyao left the room, Lan Qiren traced the pattern along the hem of his robes that shook off the dust of the road, returning them to being as clean and pristine as always – not a long-term solution to laundry, but very effective in the short-run, and one that he’d only refrained from doing earlier in order to drive home the point regarding how he had also been victimized by Jin Zixun’s ambush.
It was a profound relief to be clean again.
Once he could no longer hear Jin Guangyao’s familiar chords, he relaxed, which unfortunately these days meant coughing. He rubbed his chest when he was done, sighing, and settled down with his guqin to start playing a little, hoping to ease his nerves. Lan Xichen would be on his way already, he knew, and would probably move even faster once he got word regarding Lan Qiren’s presence. He’d made rather a lot of trouble for his nephew…
The door slammed open, and only years of experience with troublesome children, along with the warning echo of a song free and clear, full of shining righteousness, allowed Lan Qiren to remain unmoved by the cacophonous crash.
“So I have questions,” Wei Wuxian said. “Many, many questions, and I’m going to want answers to…uh, are you all right?”
Lan Qiren ignored Wei Wuxian’s rush, finishing the stanza he was playing and letting his hands still over the guqin. “Sit, and I will answer your questions to the best of my ability.”
Wei Wuxian closed the door behind him and put up a talisman for privacy, like the ones they used to use during the war, before coming to sit across the table from Lan Qiren. He was frowning. “Honored Teacher Lan, your lips are red,” he said cautiously. “Were you coughing up blood just now?”
“An old injury from the war,” Lan Qiren said, unable to resist recalling the memory of Wen Xu’s wild smirk as he’d deliberately smashed his ribs into pieces, grinding his palm against Lan Qiren’s chest to force the broken pieces to pierce his lungs. Nie Mingjue had executed Wen Xu only a few months later, a matter that had greatly eased his nightmares…truly Lan Qiren had to get to the bottom of this mystery as soon as possible; once Lan Xichen’s name was cleared, he could focus on trying to devise a solution to cleanse Nie Mingjue of the spiritual poison. “It can be aggravated by excess choler. Do not concern yourself about it.”
Wei Wuxian looked like he was concerning himself about it. “But you nearly –” Lan Qiren glared until he dropped the volume of his voice significantly. “You nearly got into a fight with dozens of cultivators back at the Qiongqi Path on my behalf! Wouldn’t that have aggravated it even worse than just getting angry?”
“Much worse,” Lan Qiren agreed peaceably. “My talents in battle are not especially notable, although better with the guqin than the sword. Regardless, the effort expended would almost certainly result in a severe backlash later.”
Wei Wuxian gaped at him. “Then why did you do it?”
“Was there an alternative?”
Wei Wuxian’s mouth opened and closed a few more times.
“How are your shijie and shizi?” Lan Qiren asked when it appeared that Wei Wuxian was not going to force any words out of his mouth any time soon. He folded his hands together in an appropriate manner – he, at least, knew his etiquette, and would continue to model it in the hope that Wei Wuxian might one day catch a hint. “Well, I trust?”
“Uh, yeah, they’re great. Jin Ling is perfect, shijie is wonderful, the peacock doesn’t deserve either of them, though he’s gotten better, I guess,” Wei Wuxian said, then shook his head as if to clear it. “And I wouldn’t have been able to see either of them if not for you.”
Personally, Lan Qiren didn’t think one Jin Zixun and any number of his friends would actually be able to stop Wei Wuxian, preplanned ambush or no, so he just hummed noncommittally. “You said you had questions?”
“Yeah, and now I have even more,” Wei Wuxian grumbled, but he seemed to settle down a little. “Let’s start with the fact that you said you needed help on a musical issue, but that it is also somehow an attempted murder. What’s that about?”
Lan Qiren grimaced. “Serve tea,” he instructed Wei Wuxian, and waited until he was midway through the process – and thus not staring straight at Lan Qiren – to start talking. “I have reason to believe that Nie Mingjue has been poisoned with spiritual poison.”
Wei Wuxian nearly spilled the tea, but managed to stop himself in time. “Chifeng-zun? Impossible!” Then he frowned. “I’d heard his temper was getting far worse, of late. Just mentions of it in passing…you think it’s because of that?”
“It may be. The Nie sect is prone to encountering qi deviations; a spiritual poison, especially one that specifically targets choleric feelings such as irritation and rage, would be particularly insidious when aimed against them. Should he die, everyone might be inclined to assume that the cause was hereditary rather than external.”
“A perfect murder. What type of poison?” Wei Wuxian’s eyebrows went up. “Wait – you think – musical poison?”
“My sect is renowned for using musical cultivation as healing techniques,” Lan Qiren pointed out, not sure why it seemed to come as such a shock to Wei Wuxian. “Antidotes grow alongside poisons, and all that can heal can also hurt – anyway, isn’t what you do a type of musical cultivation as well?”
“Good point,” Wei Wuxian said ruefully. “All right, that makes sense. That definitely seems like a real problem…but why do you need my help?”
“My health is poor, and I do not know what such an investigation will require,” Lan Qiren said. “And I cannot ask anyone in my sect to assist me.”
“Why not?”
“Because the primary suspect,” Lan Qiren said heavily, “is Xichen.”
Wei Wuxian stared.
“I’m sorry,” he said after a few long moments of blank gawping. “Please forgive me, honored teacher, but I think I misheard you. Are you saying that you think Zewu-jun is poisoning Chifeng-zun?”
“I hope dearly that he is not, of course,” Lan Qiren said. “In fact, part of the reason for my desire to investigate privately is to assist in clearing him of suspicion –”
“No, no, hold on, don’t move on just yet,” Wei Wuxian said, holding up his hands. “You think Zewu-jun – Lan Xichen! – might be capable of poisoning his sworn brother and, as far as I know, best friend? Your nephew?”
“Yes.”
“You really think he’s capable of something like that?”
“I have done my best to raise him to be the sort of man who would not be,” Lan Qiren said, and thought suddenly of his own brother – their father had treasured him, cared for him, valued him above all else. Would he have ever imagined that he would do what he had done and end up living out his life in seclusion, only to die pointlessly at the hands of the Wen sect? “And yet, who’s to say?”
“Uh, me? All the cultivation world? It’s Zewu-jun! He’s one of the most upright people I’ve ever met! You might as well suspect Lan Zhan – you don’t, do you?”
“No,” Lan Qiren said. He appreciated the righteous crescendo in Wei Wuxian’s voice, particularly when Lan Wangji was mentioned – unfortunate as it might be to find that Lan Wangji’s seemingly hopeless affection might actually be requited, since it remained a terrible idea – but it was a little inconvenient at the moment. “But equally I cannot burden him with the duty to suspect his brother. It would only hurt him.”
Wei Wuxian quieted down at that. “I can see that,” he said, grimacing. “But…why would you suspect Zewu-jun?”
“The evidence is – suggestive.” Lan Qiren shook his head. “To be clear, while I will of course value the truth above all else, I am not looking for evidence of Lan Xichen’s guilt. I am hoping to exculpate him.”
Wei Wuxian leaned forward, now frowning in earnest. “All right,” he said. “I still don’t really believe it, but other people might, and that’s bad enough. Even unfounded rumors can make for real trouble. Tell me what you know about it.”
“My nephew has been helping Nie Mingjue to ease the symptoms of his familial tendency towards qi deviations by playing him one of the strongest and most secret Lan sect healing songs,” Lan Qiren explained. “The spiritual poison I have observed in Nie Mingjue’s body is precisely a variation on that healing song – only instead of the pure version, which is designed to calm and heal disrupted qi, it is intermixed with another song that deliberately encourages spiritual turmoil.”
“All right. I suppose playing for Chifeng-zun gives Zewu-jun opportunity, but that doesn’t mean he’s the only one who could’ve applied the poison song.”
“The Song of Turmoil is a rare import, hidden away in one of sect’s forbidden books. Only very few people have access to that part of our collection.”
Wei Wuxian arched his eyebrows. “And yet you can immediately recognize it?”
“I enjoy studying obscure musical texts as an aid in composition,” Lan Qiren said, mild censure in his voice. “Would you dare claim you do not do the same?”
“…fine, fine, good point.” Wei Wuxian waved his hand. “Okay, fine…still, I’m not convinced. Even if the only source of the song is the Lan sect’s library, there was a lot of chaos these past few years. Someone else could have picked it up, couldn’t they?”
“It’s possible,” Lan Qiren admitted. “Unfortunately, the tune had the same starts and stops that are characteristic of Xichen’s playing.”
As a musical cultivator, even Wei Wuxian had to concede that the unique quirks of playing style were difficult, although not impossible, to replicate, and moreover that one would have to wonder why anyone else would bother doing so, especially in a spiritual poison they presumably hoped would go entirely undetected. He rubbed his forehead, clearly thinking it over. “So, wait, are you saying you heard this musical poison getting played? Were you affected by it? Why didn’t you interrupt in order to stop it or to find out who was responsible?”
Lan Qiren shook his head. “I did not hear the playing, only the effects.”
Wei Wuxian frowned. “I don’t understand. If you didn’t hear it get played, how do you know that the playing had Zewu-jun’s idiosyncratic characteristics?”
“I’m very familiar with how Xichen plays. How would I not notice it? Even if I only heard it intermixed with Nie Mingjue’s own base tone, the sound is distinctive enough to recognize.”
Wei Wuxian was staring at him, looking blank again. A moment later his brow furrowed as if he’d just had a thought that seemed strange to him. He said, “Honored teacher, a question. When I said I wasn’t the one who cast the curse on Jin Zixun, you said that the person who cast it played the guqin, not the flute. I’d been wondering…how did you know that?”
“The curse has the sound of a breaking guqin string, which does not accord with Jin Zixun’s own music,” Lan Qiren explained. “The person who cast it was moderately powerful and very well-trained, although this represents an overreach on their part. I think it is likely that they incurred a backlash due to the casting –”
“You just heard it?” Wei Wuxian interrupted. It was rather rude, but Lan Qiren supposed he’d signed up for that. “You just looked at him and heard the curse that had been placed on him?”
Lan Qiren nodded.
“You can hear what people’s spiritual energy sounds like?” Wei Wuxian was growing pale.
“Not spiritual energy directly,” Lan Qiren said, a little puzzled by what seemed like an outsized reaction. Not only was Wei Wuxian’s face pale, his fists clenched, but his song, normally so free and clear, had become suppressed, tense, tightly strung. “More in the nature of the sound of a person’s spirit itself. Your Ghost General, for instance; he has a very gentle melody, very soft, but the underlying base is harsh, jagged, thick with resentment, less playing than dying – he needs to learn to marry those two parts of his spirit together, or else he’ll have trouble finding peace. That’s why I offered to take him as a student.”
“What about me?” Wei Wuxian asked. He was almost vibrating with the need to know. “What about my music? Has it – changed?”
“It’s gotten a little more sober, which is not uncommon with tragedy,” Lan Qiren said, and felt as though he were on the edge of some terrible revelation. “But no, fundamentally you remain the same person you always were.”
Wei Wuxian exhaled, hard. A trill of relief.
“Something happened that made you think it would change,” Lan Qiren deduced, reaching up to stroke his beard thoughtfully. He watched as Wei Wuxian’s eyes flickered one way, then another. “Wei Wuxian.”
Wei Wuxian looked at him.
“Are you unwilling to return to orthodox cultivation – or unable?”
There was a world of difference between the two: one was arrogance, relentless and unrestrained, looking down at the truths the cultivators of the world and their ancestors had worked so hard to unearth, the other merely a depressing practicality – who wouldn’t choose to cultivate something if the alternative was nothing at all?
And yet…how could it be?
And why would Wei Wuxian be so terrified of letting others discover it?
“That’s none of your business,” Wei Wuxian said, teeth set in a bitter smile that was more of a grimace than anything else. “I agreed to help you, Honored Teacher, but my business is my own.”
“But –”
“Another question,” Wei Wuxian said. “Different subject: I know you don’t lie, and earlier you said…what you said. So tell me, what Lan sect girl has her heart so set on me that you decided to come tell me in person that I wasn’t allowed marry her?”
Lan Qiren blinked. “I only meant to advise you that it was a poor match for you both; it was not meant as an insult to you,” he objected, a little offended. “If you and Wangji insist, I will not stand in your way.”
He shook his head and sighed a little, regretful; he would not pursue the matter Wei Wuxian was hiding any further. He wanted to help, curiosity itching at him, but Wei Wuxian was right – it was none of his business.
“As long as your reliance on demonic cultivation does not impede your assistance in my investigation, I will not bring it up again,” he concluded. “How do you propose we begin?”
“…Lan Zhan?”
Lan Qiren frowned. “I already explained to you why I do not wish to involve Wangji, and that I do not suspect him. Why would we start with him?”
“Not for the investigation,” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, his face bright red. “About the – marriage!”
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envythepalmtree · 3 years
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fma blogs to follow?
Ooh I've actually been planning on making this post for a while too!
Art blogs that ID their own posts that you should follow
@morningsaidthemoon - does ids in alt text! I really love their pieces - they're kinda soft in like. color and lines? and tender if that makes sense. Multifandom, they tag fandoms.
@mildly-artsy - @mildly-nerdy's new art blog! also does them in alt text. Her lines are so clean and I love how people look in her style. Mostly FMA.
Other blogs that write IDs and/or look through the notes for IDs (that you should follow and reblog the IDed version of posts)
@liathgray - they're the author of Blackwell Springs, an extremely popular fic I have not read yet, and the A Hop, Skip, and a Jump series that I'm very much obsessed with. Multifandom, they tag fandoms.
@nerdywriiterchild - bro I love their xerxes fics so much 😔 Multifandom.
@xingeseprince - IDs almost everything. Good descriptions! Sideblog, all FMA.
@princess-of-purple-prose - the meme ID person! (They're one of the people who started a huge doc of ID templates for memes to save people spoons, which is cool.) Multifandom, tags fandoms, mostly not FMA.
Other art blogs I love
I wish I could tag like. every one of my art mutuals but alas I'd be making color of the sky 2.0 😔 So sorry if I didn't tag you, I'm kinda just scrolling through my following list and picking urls at random here, all of you guys are amazing!
@chewytran - their royai college au!! is so cute!! All their royai stuff is just. chef's kiss. Art sideblog, mostly FMA. Other fandoms are tagged.
@wawayu - their use of light and colors man!! Art sideblog, majority FMA. (Also. check their notes when rbing their art because I rb and ID like. everything they post lol)
@neorei - their homunculi art!! Wish I had art-critic-training (is that a thing) so I could properly express the emotions that their art invokes. but. ahh it's so melancholy and kinda abstract, the kind of art that you could find different meanings in. Sideblog, all FMA.
@fmamangacaps - Photoshop counts as art. Their cleaning up of manga panels and tagging system is a godsend.
@humming-fly - you probably already follow them but their team greed comics are just so funny!! I always have at least one of their pieces in my drafts that I'm procrastinating on IDing lol. Multifandom.
@pumi-envy - just. lots of art of Envy. Sometimes I'm looking through the Envy tag and the majority of it is me and this artist. I love that for us. Their style's super cute. All FMA. (again. check the notes on their art 'cause I reblog and ID everything they put on my dash)
One of those Royai writers whom posts from me and my positivity blog mutuals always seem to make it to
Don't ask me why this is a category, it's just funny to me when my positivity blog posts or posts from my positivity moots make it to Royai tumblr.
@firewoodfigs - Xingese squad!! Her prose is beautiful. So poetic and meaningful. And her poetry?? is gorgeous. Ownvoices Xingese Roy content 💚 Mostly FMA.
@lantur - wrote delicate. Go read it right now if you haven't (but also tw for parental abuse and older military officers taking advantage of mentally ill young women while they commit genocide together) Multifandom, fandoms are tagged.
@hanamuri / @royriza - literally the sweetest person and runs like 4 blogs which is iconic. Her psychoanalysis of FMA characters is super interesting. All FMA.
Other writers I love
I have a habit of reserving way too many books from the library meaning that I haven't gotten around to reading most fanfics yet, oops. That's on me.
@ta1k-less - I adore her writing style!! Fun fact, one of her atla fics was probably the first multichap fic I had finished in roughly five years. She's very funny. Love how she fleshes out Ishvalan culture. Also draws sometimes and has started IDing her own art. Mostly FMA, multifandoms, tags fandoms.
@edisacornball - boomer he knows Edward very well, if that makes sense. Like, reading his fics I can tell that he understands Edward as a character very well. His Edwin fics are great. Has been in the FMA fandom for 15 years or something, which is crazy to me. Multifandom, mostly FMA.
@calangkoh - metas count as writing. So not a fic writer, but their 03 metas are wonderful. Obvious spoilers for 03 if you haven't seen it yet. Sideblog, all FMA.
Well fuck, now I'm realizing that I haven't gotten around to reading any fics from the vast majority of the writers I follow. Y'all are such lovely people sorry I still need to read your fics!! I gotta update this list once I get my act together and clean up my AO3 marked for later list, lol.
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destieldailynews · 3 years
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april 25 - may 2 weekly update
Misha Collins at Oscars April 26, 2021 Misha Collins attended the 2021 Oscars with his childhood best friend, Darius Marder. Marder directed and co-wrote the film “The Sound of Metal,” which won several awards. Despite not being a nominee, Misha got a lot of attention for his Oscars appearance, at one point trending number 17 on twitter. Page Six tweeted that Misha’s Oscar appearance  “confuses viewers,” and Misha retweeted this tweet, commenting “I love that the headline of me being at the Oscars is “confusing.”’ He wore a black suit and tie. Entertainment Weekly tweeted a photo of the event with the caption, “MishaCollins isn’t at the #Oscars to talk about Destiel,” which they later deleted and replaced with the more neutral “What was #Supernatural’s #MishaCollins doing at the #Oscars?” link to Misha's "confusing" tweet  link to Misha's tweet about Darius Marder   and here's another one about Darius link to Entertainment Weekly article 
Charles Beeson Death  April 26, 2021 Charles Beeson, who directed several episodes of Supernatural as well as working on shows such as East Enders, Fringe, Terminator, and The Mentalist, died of a heart attack. Among others, he directed such iconic Supernatural episodes as “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester” “Changing Channels, and “the French Mistake.”  link to tweet about his death 
Radio Company Post April 29, 2021 Radio Company music posted a picture of Jensen Ackles and Steve Carlson playing music (in two separate locations) captioned “21st century long Distance Quarantine Song Writing.” Radio Company's new album comes out this summer.  link to Instagram post 
Misha Collins Talks about GishFest April 30, 2021 Mash Collins tweeted promoting GishFest, a virtual festival and scavenger hunt which he will be hosting, and which will take place on May 22nd. Gish centers around an unconventional scavenger hunt where people break into groups, made up of participants from across the world, and do creative tasks, puzzles, and acts of kindness. The point of the tasks is both to have fun and do good, and people around the world work on things such as cleaning up beaches, volunteering at food pantries, and raising donations.  link to Misha's tweet link to Gish website
Misha Collins Mothers Day “Shameos” May 1, 2021 Misha Collins posted in twitter that as well as the Cameos he has been paid to do for mothers day greetings, he will be offering ten free cameos. People can enter a competition to receive these cameos by texting a certain number, ten people will be randomly chosen, and Misha will record messages for free for those ten people. He also posted a picture of himself as a child with his mother and brother and the caption “I don't know where I’d be today if i hadn't been born. Love you, mom.”   link to tweet
Rob Benedict “Songs for Kids” May 1-2, 2021 Rob Benedict (Chuck), as well as many other performers, played in the virtual music festival “Song for Kids: Every Song the Beatles Ever Recorded.” Songs for Kids hold music marathons like this one to raise funds to do other, free performances for “kids with illnesses, disabilities, and injuries.” link to twitter announcement 
Sam Winchester’s Birthday  May 2, 2021 Sunday was the canon birthday of Sam Winchester, which was celebrated by fans across the internet. Sam would be turning 38 this year. This trended on tumblr.  Tumblr tag for Happy Birthday Sam posts
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manie-sans-delire-x · 3 years
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My thoughts/analysis of We Need to talk about Kevin
From abnormal psych class paper:
The character I chose to analyze and diagnose is Kevin Khatchadourian from the 2011 film, We Need to Talk about Kevin. Brilliantly depicted by star Ezra Miller and various other child actors, Kevin is an angry, emotionally detached boy who struggles in his complex relationship with his mother. We see the unhealthy relationship develop between the two through-out the film as Kevin grows from a baby to a young man, ending in tragedy as Kevin achieves his ultimate revenge against his mother by massacring the rest of their family as well as several classmates in a school shooting.  
After carefully noting Kevin’s behavior and the way he and his mother Eva interact when he is a young child, I have decided to diagnose Kevin with reactive attachment disorder (RAD). The diagnostic criteria from the current Diagnostic and Statistical manual (DSM-5) for RAD reads as follows: 
A. A consistent pattern of inhibited, emotionally withdrawn behavior toward adult caregivers, manifested by both of the following: 
1. The child rarely or minimally seeks comfort when distressed. 
2. The child rarely or minimally responds to comfort when distressed. 
B. A persistent social or emotional disturbance characterized by at least two of the following: 
Minimal social and emotional responsiveness to others 
Limited positive affect 
Episodes of unexplained irritability, sadness, or fearfulness that are evident even during nonthreatening interactions with adult caregivers. 
C. The child has experienced a pattern of extremes of insufficient care as evidenced by at least one of the following: 
Social neglect or deprivation in the form of persistent lack of having basic emotional needs for comfort, stimulation, and affection met by caring adults 
Repeated changes of primary caregivers that limit opportunities to form stable attachments (e.g., frequent changes in foster care) 
Rearing in unusual settings that severely limit opportunities to form selective attachments (e.g., institutions with high child to caregiver ratios) 
D. The care in Criterion C is presumed to be responsible for the disturbed behavior in Criterion A (e.g., the disturbances in Criterion A began following the lack of adequate care in Criterion C). 
E. The criteria are not met for autism spectrum disorder. 
F. The disturbance is evident before age 5 years. 
G. The child has a developmental age of at least nine months. 
Specify if Persistent: The disorder has been present for more than 12 months. 
Specify current severity: Reactive Attachment Disorder is specified as severe when a child exhibits all symptoms of the disorder, with each symptom manifesting at relatively high levels. 
Kevin displays behavior that meets both criteria A and B. As a baby he cried constantly, reportedly even when held, showing an inability or unwillingness to be soothed. As a toddler he shows defiance, disinterest in social interaction, and a refusal to engage in play, such as when his mother is attempting to play with a ball with him and he refuses to roll the ball back or respond in any way, instead staring at her with a sullen expression. Kevin also refuses his mother’s pleas to say the word “Mommy”. As a slightly older child, Kevin continues to act defiantly and shows anger, ripping up the paper when his mother attempts to school him, immediately soiling his newly changed diapers on purpose, throwing food against the wall and onto tables, breaking his crayons, making nonsensical noises to irritate his mother, and destroying his mother’s artfully decorated room. When he is taken to the doctor to be examined, he shows no expression, does not speak, and stiffens his body. When his baby sister is born, he purposefully sprinkles water onto the newborn, causing her to cry. It should be noted however that in one instance Kevin seems to relax his cold exterior and accept comfort from his mother, shown by the scene in which he falls ill and cuddles with his mother while she reads him a story. He even apologizes for her having to clean up his throw-up. Unfortunately, as soon as he is feeling well again he is back to being rude and rejecting any attempt of hers to take care of him, refusing her help to change his clothes.  
As for criteria C, although Kevin has not experienced extreme abuse or neglect, I believe Kevin suffered from a traumatic birth as it was mentioned that his mother was resisting. His mother Eva did not desire a child, especially not one as difficult as Kevin, so she emotionally neglects him and is cold to him. Eva makes it very clear to him that he is unwanted, telling him straight to his face that she was happy before she gave birth to him and not correcting him when Kevin mentions that Eva does not like him. In one instance, she is accidentally too rough with him and breaks his arm, which Kevin later refers to as being the most honest thing she ever did. Kevin also meets the criteria of D through G, and his symptoms are persistent. I would say Kevin has moderate to severe symptoms as he does exhibit all listed symptoms quite regularly.  
I believe Kevin’s psychological problems may also have developed into conduct disorder (CD) as an adolescent and then antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) or psychopathy in adulthood, especially after taking into consideration the mutilation of his sister’s eye and the killing of his sister’s guinea pig, his father, his sister, and several classmates. He shows no guilt or empathy, appears to have shallow emotions besides anger, and shows no evidence of having affection or emotional bonds to anyone. He is also very manipulative; putting on a fake act of normalcy for his father, turning his parents against each other, and navigating the legal system to get his best outcome. However, I know that children with RAD can also be violent and if not treated, behave in a way very similar to conduct disorder in adolescence and ASPD or psychopathy in adulthood. The main reason I chose to focus on RAD over CD or ASPD is because I believe the root of Kevin’s problem is immense pain at being rejected and unloved as a child and that he harbors a deep desire to have that connection but is unable to accept affection.  He is so focused on and consumed by his anger towards his mother, while someone with true psychopathy may be more detached and indifferent. I also leaned more towards RAD given that he showed symptoms from such a young age and did not seem to have any problems outside of his issues with his mother, such as acting out in school or engaging in petty, impulsive crime. I do wish that the film showed more of his interaction with his peers. Lastly, I felt RAD was a more accurate choice because of the subtle signs of it that are associated more with RAD than CD, such as stiffening his body when others try to hug him, making nonsensical sounds, and not making eye contact as an infant, although that may not have been intentionally put in the film. Either way, his parents certainly needed to talk to professionals about Kevin when he was a child. Had they done so, perhaps they could have prevented the tragedy of both his life and the pain he inflicted on others.  
Response to tumblr ask:
I agree! I would have loved to see how he interacts at school, what he does when he’s alone and has spare time, and more of his childhood.
I think he had multiple reasons:
1- To make his mother suffer since he obviously has a lot of anger and resentment towards her
2- Because he doesn’t feel much positive emotion and gave up on ever feeling pleasure or enjoyment from regular life. Normal life is incredibly boring for him. He wanted to DO something- real, meaningful, make something happen. He wanted to Live. I very much relate.
3- He enjoys the attention he gets from it.
We talked about this in my forensic psych club- whether we should give interviews and all this attention to violent criminals. Our society is fascinated by them to the point where we make movies and books. People sell and collect memorabilia. They have fan-girls writing love letters and showing up to their court sessions, even fighting each other over them. It’s pretty crazy. But on the other hand, it’s important that we study them. Or is it? There’s a debate about everything.
4- His philosophy and world view. 
He is very nihilistic, he doesn’t believe life “means” anything and right/wrong doesn’t exist/is just a matter of opinion or viewpoint. His actions don’t really matter either, nothing does. I used to think exactly like he did when I was a teen, and I still do in a way.
As for your last question, it’s easy to forget one way of thinking when you’re in another. It’s hard to remember how one state was when you’re in a different one. Also, as shitty as outside life can be, life in prison is even shittier. Makes you appreciate the ability of choice and being able to do things, even just to walk around outside or buy an icecream cone. He was also only 15 at the time of the crime, and in the last scene he’s 18. A lot of chemical changes and neural development happens in that time. He matured- his way of thinking about himself, the world, and the others around him changed.
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Companion HCs: Adopting Shy!Teenager!Sole
Note: Sole is 13-14 in this, therefor it’s completely platonic! I’m disturbed that’s something I have to clarify but I’ve been on Tumblr long enough that I’ve Seen Some Nonsense. 
Cait:
She may not have her shit together at first but she’s determined to be the best parent possible and give Sole everything her parents never gave her
She takes things slow when it comes to getting them to open up and tries to moderate her tone and temper; asks them simple questions to get to know them and tells stories to them (PG ones, of course)
Ferociously protective. If anyone, and I mean anyone, comes near them with ill-intent she flies off the handle.
And maybe part of that’s her projecting the fact that she wished someone protected her when she was young, but she also simply never wants them to feel scared or upset or as if she won’t protect them
Gets them something to keep with them so she’s always with them, even when she has to go somewhere and they stay in Sanctuary, like matching hats or little charms she might’ve scavenged from a collapsed store
Hancock calls Cait mama bear when she flies off the handle at Flynn (rightfully so. Hancock tells Sole to turn away and takes care of that problem like he does canonically)
Cait starts calling Sole little bear after that
Teaches them how to defend themself right away; she never wants them to feel powerless if she’s not around
Cleans herself up to better herself for them; she absolutely refuses to turn out like her parents and therefor goes cold turkey from alcohol and chems
It’s hard as fuck, but Sanctuary comes together to support her
Cries when they tell her they love her and call her mom the first time
Also teaches Dogmeat commands for intimidation so if Sole’s alone they have someone else to be intimidating
Sole definitely grows up with a bit of a take-no-shit attitude. They also know their worth and won’t be walked over
Curie:
Delighted to help out Sole
She definitely tries to get them interested in the sciences, but if they aren’t, that’s okay
Initially she goes on walks with them around Sanctuary and asks them questions about what they like
Picks flowers with them and teaches them how to dry/preserve them
She deals quite well with their shy silence and doesn’t try to start conversations too often; she tells stories without expecting responses and makes sure to subtly encourage any talking by showing great interest
Teaches them French, which comes in handy when they’re in Diamond City or Goodneighbor and they need to let her know they’re anxious or uncomfortable
As soon as they let her know what will soothe their anxiety around other people, she does it without hesitation (buying stuff for them, etc)
They have their own little house in Sanctuary together with a small garden
She teaches them the scientific names of the flowers and what they need and gets them a journal to write everything down; loves encouraging their curiosity and gets excited when they ask questions about anything
As soon as they show an interest in something she throws herself into it with them
Tells dad jokes but doesn’t know they’re kind of terrible; Deacon encourages this and fully enjoys the looks on Sole’s face
Deacon’s the fun, loud uncle
Lots of hugs from Curie as long as Sole’s okay with it, she’s very physically affectionate
Danse:
Kind of a stereotypical dad in the fact that he doesn’t really do great at verbal affection but their trays are always loaded with food and they always have something once they show interest in it
Can vibe with the shyness. He’s quiet, they’re quiet, and he finds no reason to try and get some conversation out of them
They can both be quite awkward but it’s fine
Not great with physical affection either
If they show interest in repairing armor or guns or shooting he’s through the roof with excitement
Constantly glaring at everyone who looks at them even a little bit sideways
Honestly has scared the shit out of some people just by his expression
Builds them their own size-scaled power armor
If they gift him something, even if it’s just wildflowers they found, he accepts it quietly and once they leave he cries
If they call him dad he also cries quietly
“There’s just something in my eye.”
Desperately wants to be a good parent and is kind of insecure about it
Has check ins with them where they have a healthy discussion about if he’s upset them in some way or if they’d prefer he deals with something differently
The first time they travel on their own he’s worried out of his mind, as if he didn’t raise a soldier of a kid (not in a bad way, but they’re more skilled at self defense than most adults)
Sole probably inherits a rbf from him
Deacon:
The fun parent
He can be serious though
In the beginning he tries to overcompensate for their quietness by being his loud, bombastic self
When that doesn’t seem to work he gets the memo and tones it down and relaxes
Honestly they get to see the “real” Deacon pretty soon
He’s naturally joking and loud, however he doesn’t relax and just exist with someone very often
That’s what he does with sole, though, and they open up more after that
Unfortunately they’re exposed to the things the Railroad deal with quite early on, and the shit that goes with the Institute
He makes sure they’re capable of defending themself but it’s quite scary to know that an organization wants your family dead
He makes sure to reassure them that nothing will ever happen to either of them
When they start to open up more he allows himself to act more like he does with the Railroad around them
Takes them on fun disguise runs
They’ll come to realize that they’re low profile stake out missions, and he just didn’t want to leave them behind
Always makes sure they eat first; he’s dealt with food insecurity before himself and part of his protective nature is making sure they know he’ll do everything in his power to make sure they never experience that
Matching sunglasses? Absolutely.
BEAMS when they call him dad
Gage:
Probably the most reluctant parent out of all of them, to be honest
The raider lifestyle is the worst nightmare for a child; for a week he tries balancing things, since it’s all he’s known, but he very quickly gets them out of that situation
Changes their appearances and moves into Sanctuary. Preston’s suspicious when he avoids talking about his past but accepts them
He’s also extremely quiet around the new settlement, so they’re a matching pair
As protective as Cait, that’s for damn sure
Asks them questions quite often to make sure they’re okay: “Did you get enough to eat, kiddo?” “Those boots fit okay?” “Are you warm enough?” “She didn’t bother you, did she?” “Are you tired?”
Doesn’t take offense or try to pry when they give one word answers; he gets it
Not much for physical affection either but if they seek it out he gives and reassures them they’re not bothering him. If they hug him he pats them on the back and says “Thanks for the hug, kid.”
His first gift to them is a gun and knife
He means well
If they call him dad he will get emotional but doesn’t cry
Will cry years later when he thinks back on it; they’ve softened him up somewhat
Encourages them to hang out with Preston and learn about the Minutemen. It’s valuable experience and while he and Preston aren’t exactly friends they respect each other and he knows that them knowing him will be a good experience for them
Reluctant when they find Dogmeat but lets them keep him when they ask; they don’t ask for much and it’s never something ridiculous
Fondly refers to him as a mutt
Eventually ends every night by giving them a sideways hug and kissing them on the top of the head. “Goodnight, kid. See you in the morning.” Before they head to bed
Hancock:
Initially a disaster parent
He has no idea what he’s doing and his lifestyle isn’t set up for bringing in a kid
He cleans up pretty quickly. He doesn’t use drugs if they’re around, but he continues smoking cigarettes.
Seeks out Nick for advice
Sets them up with their own room and makes sure when they ask for something he jumps to get it; not to the point where they become entitled and spoiled but God he wants them to be happy and know he cares
Makes sure to enforce that you respect everyone unless they disrespect you, no matter where they come from
Everyone in Goodneighbor makes sure their drug use and drinking is done out of sight of Sole; their usage is their business but Hancock won’t accept them being a bad influence
Eventually almost everyone in Goodneighbor knows and takes care of Sole affectionately. They respect Hancock and respect Sole equally
They started referring to Sole as the Boss as a joke on Hancock, but Hancock, after laughing his ass off, agrees and the nickname becomes permanent
Once again, Sole grows up the opposite of entitled; they’re very hard working and respectful and that’s why Goodneighbor loves them so much
Hancock gifts them a necklace; it’s a wide circle, about the size of an American dollar coin, with a cutting of the fabric from his coat in the center, sewn tightly around the circle.
Eventually he introduces them to what it’s like to run Goodneighbor and involves them in the decision making
MacCready:
Another kid? Done.
He knows there’s a lot of kids out there he can’t help and he takes Sole under his wing without hesitation
He hasn’t raised a teenager yet, but he treats them with respect and always asks their opinion and if they’re comfortable
Adds another bullet to his cap after a couple days
He’s worried their shyness is the result of trauma; there’s no way anyone in the Commonwealth doesn’t have it, but he hurts at the thought of them going through 
something particularly horrific
Doesn’t try to bust down their walls and get them to open up
Instead, he remains quiet and lets them come to him
Smiles to himself the first time they call him dad
Perfectly open to physical affection and is quite proud of them the first time they ask for a hug
Probably retreats back to the community where he left Duncan rather quickly
His merc work isn’t somewhere for a kid and he probably turns farmer once they find the cure for Duncan
The first time Sole and Duncan bond over something he’s sobbing internally (cries externally too)
Eventually brings both Duncan and Sole back to Sanctuary; he knows the community there is good to raise them
Farmer!Mac with two kids and a small house and a dog? Adorable
(everyone in sanctuary agrees)
Uncle Preston becomes a thing and that’s his official title to the kids
Mac and he become good friends; Mac’s fond of people with good, solid morals and once he hears what Preston did/does for the Minutemen and the people they protect? Respect +100
Nick:
Good with kids, straight up
He’s lived in Diamond City with kids running around all over the place for a while, so he knows how to talk to them
Just treats Sole with respect and expects nothing from them (affection wise) other than the same back
Tries to keep them out of detective work. It’s depressing and he wants something more wholesome for them, as wholesome as things can be in the Commonwealth
Considers moving to Sanctuary and includes them on that decision
Takes on less risky jobs, he’s got someone to care for now
Ellie adores Sole as well and eventually co-parents, and takes over parenting while Nick’s out; whether she and Nick are platonic or romantic in this situation is up to you
Nick comes back one day and she pulls him aside to tell him Sole called them their parents and they both get emotional
He takes care to note what their favorites are; color, food, etc
More than happy to adopt Dogmeat, especially since he proves to be a good protector
Is worried about the fact that he can’t be around all the time. He knows Ellie’s a good parent, but he wants to be there for everything and he simply can’t be
Does have a couple talks with Sole about this to make sure they know he’s not trying to get away from them and he loves them dearly
Tells them stories about funny cases to make them laugh when they’re upset
Blows up at McDonough if he steps a toe out of line in Sole’s direction; McDonough wouldn’t dare kick him out and he knows that, he brings too much business in
Piper:
She takes one look at Sole’s face and the adoption papers are already signed, she doesn’t hesitate a bit
Overcompensates for the awkward silence by talking a bit too much, but eventually figures out they probably feel weird about that
If they and Nat get along she’s elated
Nat honestly brings them out of their shell a bit and it’s not uncommon to see Piper shouting after Nat and Sole running off, yelling for them to be careful and be back before dark
Stays in Diamond City
Sometimes asks Ellie to babysit; they’re good friends and Nick and her get along quite well
Can get a bit heated if anyone is rude to the kids
She’ll fist fight McDonough without hesitation if she has to, she doesn’t care
Not much changes in her lifestyle, she raises them the same way she’s been raising Nat and does her best
Preston:
Fantastic with people, it’s part of his job
Takes on the role of parent readily despite his internal panic
Worries he won’t be good enough; he’s never taken care of kids full time, and he knows being a parent is vastly different than babysitting
Definitely instills Minutemen morals in Sole; he won’t tolerate intolerance
The first time they get sick he’s full of panic. It’s a simple cold, but he refuses to leave them alone for even a second
Relaxes a bit
He used to be out of bed and immediately dress, promptly returning to duty
Now he’s still prompt but he walks around in his pajamas more
Relaxed with physical affection but never initiates; he never wants to make them uncomfortable or make them feel like he’s trying to force himself into the parent category
If they call him dad he’s walking on clouds for the rest of the day; the fact that they think that highly of him??? Amazing
Worries he’s not good enough but when people compliment his parenting he figures he’s doing alright
Honestly complimenting his parenting is the best thing that can happen to him
X6-88:
???????
Who put him in charge of this human and what is he expected to do with them????
Fumbles hard at first
Consults the scientists (who I’ll assume put him in charge of them) and eventually picks things up on his own
Institute scientists make the mistake of trying to instill things he doesn’t approve of after he grows attached to them and cares more for them than the Institute
Suddenly they’re missing a synth and his teenager
He knows the Institute like the back of his hand; they won’t find him. Ever.
Takes them to Sanctuary when he hears the radio and seeks out Preston
He respects Preston and the way he protects everyone, considering he feels that way towards Sole, and eventually, far down the line they become friends and platonic co-parents
X6 parents ¾ of the time, but he often seeks Preston’s advice in the beginning
Doesn’t particularly care if they call him dad; they’re family either way
Definitely asks them about and takes interest in their interests
Just wants them to be happy
Considering they’re pretty much his only family, he’s very attached to them; not in an unhealthy way but as they get older they call each other their best friends
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chalkrevelations · 3 years
Text
WELL. Episode 3 of Word of Honor.
First of all: If you are NEW or JUST VISITING, this is a re-watch, so there are SPOILERS not just for this ep, but for the ENTIRE SHOW. A lot of them, actually. Scroll away and come back later if you haven’t seen all 36.5 eps and want to watch it unspoiled.
So, this ep feels a little disjointed. I don’t think it actually is, not in the way the back nine are a speedrun where the writing starts to feel like it’s thisclose to coming off the rails, but it feels like it, in that we’re now getting a double handful of threads thrust at us that are only just starting to be woven together into a plot, and it’s the kind of hot mess that any fiberwork looks like before the pattern starts to show itself, particularly when you’re using 15 different color threads from jump. There’s generally a major theme or issue or overriding concept that stands out to me in each ep that, you may have noticed, gets primacy of place in these reactions, but honestly, y’all, I really struggled to figure out what that might be for this episode, because a lot of this, on re-watch, strikes me as groundwork for later developments. Wen Kexing gives us an “as you know, Bob” speech about the Amory and the Glazed Armor, we meet approx. 3.2K new characters, and I feel sort of like I should start keeping a chart of who’s supposed to have a piece of the Glazed Armor and who actually does have a piece of the Glazed Armor, but it’s already so confusing that it might be too late.*
ANYWAY, on re-watch, I can absolutely see the value of spending Eps 1 & 2 on introducing us to Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing and getting us pulled into their orbit, because then we have scenes we’re already invested in to maintain our interest as the background politics begin to frustratingly play out with a bunch of people we don’t know or have any investment in yet. I mean, y’all. I forgot just what an ill-tempered gremlin ZZS was in these early eps. He is so fk’n put out that these people will not let him drink himself to death in the gutter in peace! Or, you know, in occasional Nightly Nails Torment. And the exasperation from both ZZS and Chengling over WKX’s antics – both of their faces are priceless in the scene when they discover he’s the one who’s bought out all the rooms at the inn. I literally lol’d. Again. Even knowing it was coming. All of this interaction is so delightful. This is actually the ep that provoked my very first WoH keysmash flailing Tumblr post and inaugurated the “wen kexing’s thirst is practically a third character” tag. I guess the biggest throughline for this ep is that we can continue to see how everything changes when we know about their previous relationship – things like WKX’s insistence that they have a “deep bond through fate” take on additional layers of meaning rather than just sounding like some dude who’s trying to pick you up at last call. Interesting that ZZS describes WKX at one point during their push-pull conversational dance as “like a wretched soul that keeps haunting around.” You mean, like a GHOST? Like a Ghost Valley ghost? Like the almost forgotten memory of a past life ghost? ZZS wants to know why WKX keeps following him around, and it would be nice if WKX would just come clean, but that would be too easy, wouldn’t it?
ZZS, re: Chengling: I do my best to ensure what was entrusted to me.
WKX: :makes (already! in ep 3!) yet another in a series of bad decisions not to say anything about the fact that he, himself, was in fact entrusted to ZZS:
Show: Here’s the first of many helpings of heartache to come. EAT IT. EAT IT ALL.
(Me: Well, here’s another AU idea: What would the course of this relationship be like if WKX flat-out asked ZZS what ZZS’s relationship to Four Seasons Manor was, and bare-faced claimed sanctuary as long-lost shidi Zhen Yan at this point? Because I bet there are plenty of ways that could actually go wrong. Not to mention the deliciousness of just watching them navigate a relationship shift that sudden. I feel like, at this point, WKX would have to be actively confrontational about it, would have to throw it in ZZS’s face – it would need to be something he did in the heat of anger, in order to have this pushed out past all of his fears. Like, you say that, but where were you when I needed you? Also, you think so, well what if your responsibility actually turned out to be the TERRIFYING GHOST VALLEY MASTER, what then, huh? And ZZS, still pretty actively suicidal over all of his failures, having to deal with what’s now being presented as YET ANOTHER FAILURE.)
Also, the theme of “knowing” (zhiji, the one I know) is starting to slide in sideways – we’re seeing a lot of back and forth between them asking about seeing the other’s “true face.” WKX says that he’ll tell ZZS what he (WKX) wants from him once he gets to see ZZS’s true face (LIES, it’s going to take a lot longer than that). ZZS asks to see WKX’s figurative true face, and WKX looks kind of sad and contemplative as he warns that it may be unappealing or terrifying. So, you know, we’re starting to poke at all the softest, most tender places and the issues that are going to stab me repeatedly in the heart for the rest of the show. We’re also already seeing the way Xiao Chu just layered in references throughout the script when she wrote it that call back to each other – it’s like almost any line of dialogue references three other lines of dialogue (and that’s without even getting into all of the literary references that I’m missing because I don’t have cultural context). You get things like WKX’s little speech right at the end that it’s hard to tell a ghost from a human, which on its face might be referring to the two “ghosts” that were coming for Chengling that he took care of and act as an admonishment to ZZS not to be so quick to assume they’re actually from Ghost Valley, but it also refers to WKX, himself, and specifically lays the groundwork (“someone wearing a ghost mask is not necessarily a ghost”) for his conversation in a later ep with ZZS when he asks if ZZS thinks he’s a good person, and also calls back (“someone who looks human may not be human”) to the line from earlier in this ep, itself, when WKX tells ZZS that perhaps WKX’s true face is terrifying. And so we get a nicely little wrapped package of the dichotomy of WKX and his issues. (As a somewhat related aside, A-Xiang’s little face when Zhou Zishu says all of the ghosts of Ghost Valley are full of evil (at 6:55). D: This reaction is obviously for herself, but also may be the first time she acts as proxy for Wen Kexing, as well.)
What else, what else?
So, nobody has a good opinion of the jianghu. WKX is going to be constantly all, “You killed my father, jianghu, prepare to die,” but ZZS also goes off about how it’s just about greed, hatred and ignorance, and yeah, I guess he’d have a pretty bad impression of it, when Prince Jin and Tian Chuang seemed like a better option than the pressure he was facing, trying to keep Siji Manor Sect alive back in the day. We talk a lot about WKX’s childhood trauma, because it’s so awful and right in our faces, but I don’t know how much we actually talk about the fact that ZZS was a teenager not much older than Chengling when he inherited a sect and tried desperately to keep it from being torn apart by the rest of the jianghu. I think we see some bitterness come out in the first few episodes – frankly, in this ep, he doesn’t seem to make much of a distinction between Ghost Valley and the rest of the jianghu. Also interesting that the metaphor he uses about the jianghu’s and Ghost Valley’s greed for the treasures of the Armory is “reaping without sowing,” given what we find out is actually in there in Ep 36.
We see our metaphor of light get pulled out again – this throughline strikes me as more like beads on a string than a thread, at this point, but maybe I’ll notice it more on this second time through … Anyway, WKX’s comment at 9:11 that it’s almost dawn is notable. Indeed, but is it because your plan is beginning to work and you can see the destruction of Ghost Valley and the jianghu coming down the pike, or is it because you’ve found your shixiong?
I notice WKX has color-coordinated ZZS and Chengling in the robes he bought for them, has already grouped them together, marked them as belonging to each other – he’s already subtly treating them as each other’s family. The show, with a particular lack of subtlety, also will have ZZS there to wake up Chengling from nightmares later in the end of the ep, as Chengling calls out for his dad in his sleep.
OK, Deng Kuan is the guy in charge of the Yueyang sect contingent that arrived in time to see the Mirror Lake chaos in Ep 2 and has taken charge of cleaning up the bodies in this ep. I actually overlooked him, pretty much, the first time around, but here, he’s already got Shen Shen yelling at him (in a completely ridiculous fashion) for not getting there in time to save the Mirror Lake Sect, so he’s just going to be a punching bag through the whole show, apparently. Shen Shen is wu-di, fifth (little) brother, and he refers to Chengling’s dad as si-ge, fourth (older) brother, so Shen Shen appears to be the youngest of the Five Lakes sworn brothers, leading me to believe that some of what makes him so insufferable through a lot of the show is baby brother syndrome. Also, Shen Shen and his group find the Soul Winding Threads of the Hanged Ghost … supposedly. I mean, the Hanged Ghost was the guy who we saw get got in Ep 1, soooooo …. (remember these Soul Winding Threads, btw).
*This got super long so I’m’a put this last bit under a cut, but I did try to start a running tally of who’s holding a piece of the Glazed Armor:
Each of the Five Lakes Alliance sects is supposed to have a piece of the Glazed Armor, yes? So, as of the end of Ep 3 (hierarchical bro-titles are from didi Shen Shen’s POV):
- Yueyang Sect, led by Gao Chong (da-ge) - presumably still has his
- Tai Hu Sect, led by Zhao Jing (er-ge) – presumably still has his
- Danyang Sect, led by Lu Taichong (san-ge, presumably) – apparently the sect has already been attacked off-screen (by “Ghost Valley?” and WHEN?), as we learn in Ep 3 that Lu-zongzhu has been killed and his remaining two tiny disciples have fled to the protection of Ao Laizi and Tai Shan Sect, one of the lesser sects, and are believed to have taken Danyang’s Glazed Armor with them. We learn this from Tao Hong, Lv Liu and Begger Gang Chief, but I notice that Gao Chong only mentions the Mirror Lake massacre as the precipitating event for the Hero’s Conference and total war on Ghost Valley – he doesn’t even mention Danyang Sect, so does Five Lakes not know about this yet?
- Mirror Lake Sect, led by Zhang Yusen (si-ge) – Zhang-zongzhu killed by “Ghost Valley” in Ep 2, Glazed Armor “missing” and speculated POST EP 2 to have been taken by Ghost Valley (but will turn up in a few eps, thanks to our little Goldbean)
- Dagu Shan Sect, led by Shen Shen (wu-di) – presumably still has his
And then we move to:
- Tai Shan Sect, led by Ao Laizi – in-world speculation is that he now has the Danyang Glazed Armor. We do see him near the end of the ep with the two tiny Danyang shidi, where he makes the intriguing comment that he’s going to follow their shifu’s last wishes and keep their Glazed Armor from falling into the hands of the Five Lakes Alliance, so what exactly was going on between San-ge and his sworn brothers at the time of his death? This group also is apparently being pursued by Shen Shen to get their Glazed Armor, and they make him sound awful. You need better PR, Shen Shen.
- Ghost Valley – POST EP 2, speculated to have taken the Mirror Lake Glazed Armor (FALSE)
NOTABLY, “Ghost Valley Master” set a lot of this chaos in motion in Ep 1 when he claimed that Hanged Ghost (who got got a scene earlier) had stolen HIS piece of the Glazed Armor, although he shouldn’t have a piece (supposedly) until after Ep 2, when he’s believed to have taken Mirror Lake’s. So, what piece would that be, exactly, Terrifying Ghost Valley Master? You wouldn’t be lying in pursuit of chaos would you? (Somewhere, WKX gasps theatrically behind his fan, and he doesn’t even know what motivated it, this time.)
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scarletarosa · 3 years
Text
A Brief Warning Regarding the Toxic Behaviour of Tumblr
A few toxic things that masquerade as normality on this website have caused people to gradually step into unhealthy ways of thinking and behaving. I’ve seen these issues so often that it’s come to the point where I would like to address some of them and encourage people to think more rationally. Once you spend some time away from these ways of thinking, you will come to realize that many things on this site are basically brainwashing. And please, do your best to not form all your opinions from people on here and spend more time away from tumblr. This is one of the worst places to allow yourself to develop.
Over-identifying with labels: While this is often fun for people and can be a way to embrace who you are, it is also potentially harmful. There are plenty of ways to develop who you are as a person, and labels are often temporary things since we constantly change (though of course, some things might not change for people). Yet if a person latches onto a label and allows it to become who they are, but changes their mental-state in the future (realizes they want to have a different sexuality, don’t actually want to be trans, etc), it can be damaging and causes them to undo the identity they had bonded with. 
This is also harmful for those who over-attach to their mental illness, as this causes a romanticization of the issue rather than focusing on how to overcome it. Other times, some sexualities or dysphoria come from trauma (some asexuals/aromantics are examples of this); if a person does not consider that what they feel may come from a traumatic experience and requires therapy, they will still feel that something is wrong even if they embrace a different label/identity. So while connecting to a label is overall okay, it is most healthy to not become too attached and instead fully focus on discovering who you are as a person and not fearing change.
Superiority complexes regarding being lgbt: This is a common toxic pit to fall into for those who are oppressed, it has happened all throughout history. If we want to actually be wiser than those who have shunned us, we cannot act like we are better or smarter than those who are straight or cisgendered. We are not better than them at all, only equal, and there are far better things in the world to worry about than being gay. I have seen people on here arguing over the supposed gender of a fictional character so many times and it is ridiculous and embarrassing. Is this really what you people have time for? You aren’t better for being gay or trans, it’s only an important path of realization for yourself and not much more.
No-one is special for having this sort of identity, you are just like any other but with a different preference. And sure, you may not be biased towards lgbt people like how many non-queer people are, but many lgbt people are still biased towards each other, so it’s really not much of an accomplishment. But by all means, we can support our rights and have Pride parades, just don’t fall into the trap of acting better than others. This trend of acting superior or how those who aren’t queer can easily have their opinions shut down is not okay. This is a way of thinking that is parallel to how some minorities had become oppressive in the past; if this behavior does not change, you will become the prejudice ones as well. I’ve also seen people constantly complaining about whether someone needs dysphoria to be trans or if bisexuals are gay, but why? Why do you actually care about how other people are identifying? And how can you sit there and make such petty arguments when there are people in the world who are actually suffering day by day? Many of you need to grow up and see how the world truly is.
The aggressive Puritan mentality: Whether you notice it or not, many of you, including myself for some time, had fallen into this site’s herd-mentality of always trying to “purify” how we behave. It becomes so engrained that a person can simply put guilt into us by saying “this is appropriation” (when it isn’t and they get called out later) or “no-one is allowed to like this story/poem because the author was racist”; well in that case, let’s just get rid of over half the literature we have. Or how I have seen a person on here get angry at someone for posting a list of their favourite books but didn’t include any female authors (this behaviour is insane). Unfortunately, there are plenty of people who go to extremes with trying to police how everyone thinks or speaks. Remember, just because someone says that something is the “correct, moral way” doesn’t mean it actually is. Again, please learn to think for yourselves and do not give in to herd-mentalities. 
Over-generalizing things has also been a problem to the point where I feel that many people here do not realize that every country is full of racism (towards everyone, not just black people). And yes, people are able to be racist towards white people as well (first, look up the definitions of racism) and also realize that some peoples, such as the Greeks, had been victims of mass genocide and the first concentration camps. Not to mention that they had been victims of slavery by the Turkish for nearly 500 years. The truth is that everyone is guilty, no-one is allowed to act as if their race is clean of blame. Overall, question everything you hear, research constantly, and seek to broaden your understanding beyond barriers.
If anyone would like to add further examples, please feel free. This was kept quite brief but it needs to be said since this site has caused many to fear thinking differently. 
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juminsmysticmc · 4 years
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Hiya! Im still a bit new to tumblr so i dont know if this is exactly how i ask for a request ^^; if its not im sorry ,_, but ill to request a RFA and V, Saeran meeting with a MC with one arm (like she lost her arm in a accident, etc.) PS i love your content! Its very interesting, enjoyable, admiring, and fun to read! Have a good day/night take care of yourself! :)
RFA + Minor Duo meeting a Mc with only one Arm
Hello Baby! Thank you very much for your nice comment! I hope I didn’t let you wait for too long! And by the way, you did it perfectly right (the request thing I mean) I remember the first time I tried to use Tumblr, ahahahahahah.
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Jumin
You were really scared to meet Jumin in person.
You respected the black-haired man and looked up to him  so you didn’t want to make any mistakes to hurt his reputation. You knew perfectly well that other people would talk about you.
But when the guard led you in and Jumin noticed that you only had one arm, he acted as if it wasn’t anything.
He didn’t even ask you, which made you comfortable.
He was literally the first person on earth who didn’t ask you about it, which made you feel special and see him in a special way.
When the night time came, you began to tell him on your own ,,You didn’t ask about the other arm,’’ you began.
,,No, of course, I didn’t. It’s something You need to tell me when you’re comfortable. I don’t want to force you into anything. If you want to tell me, I will gladly listen to you. If not, I will patiently wait for you to be ready,’’ he told you and stroked your hair.
And so you told him about your accident, feeling comfortable telling him for the very first time.
What surprised you too was that no one ever said anything bad about you or your arm, not even that you got an artificial limb two years later, something that Jumin gave to you as a present and made you the happiest woman on earth.
Zen
,,Okay!’’ you took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.
A few moments later, Zen opened the door, surprised to see you.
You weren’t nervous at all.
You were sure of yourself.
And perhaps this was something Zen liked about you too.
The time came and the both of you sat together on the couch and began to talk when he asked you how it happened that you only had one arm.
,,You don’t need to tell me if you’re uncomfortable. I’m sorry if I’m being rude,’’ Zen tried to explain.
,,It’s okay,’’ you assured him.
,,I am okay with it,’’ you nodded and told him, without any problems that it happened in a car accident when you were 17 and driving with your friends.
,,Let’s say that I was lucky,’’ you told him.
,,I mean, I can at least enjoy this moment with you here. My friend, however, didn’t lose an arm. She lost her life,’’ you told him.
This was something that actually made you emotional again, but after Zen hugged you and told you that he respected you for being so strong, you were feeling better again.
Yoosung
,,Mc!’’ Yoosung called you when he could finally meet you.
He hugged you and actually made you notice that he injured his eye. He also told you that he did all this just to save you!
You guys talked a bit until he wanted to take your left hand and noticed that you only had one arm.
Of course he looked a bit shocked and you noticed it, but he quickly looked up at you and looked at you with cute puppy eyes.
,,I’m sorry, this was pretty idiotic of me, right?’’ he asked you.
,,Kinda, yes,’’ you honestly giggled ,,but I am used to these looks so-’’
,,NO!’’ Yoosung shouted.
,,I actually thought I saw wrong and tried to blink a few times. I got worried that my eyes turned so bad in so little time… I’m sorry, I swear, I have no problem with it!’’ he whined.
You could hear from his voice tone that he meant it.
,,It’s okay, Yoosung. I trust you. Let’s talk some more, okay?’’ you smiled.
And indeed Yoosung didn’t seem uncomfortable, but instead tried to make you feel more comfortable and kept holding your hand the whole time, making you feel safe in his presence.
Jaehee
At your first RFA party, your worst fear was that the RFA members would do anything to draw attention to your missing arm.
Well, your fear kind of came true, but also got erased by the happiness you felt when Jaehee asked you to open a shop with her.
The action made you cry out of happiness because if she would have wanted, she just could have hidden the idea about her project, but instead she still asked you because she believed in you.
After the party, you decided to ask her about it ,,I mean, you saw me and you saw that I was missing an arm, why did you still ask me?’’
,,Mc, because this doesn’t matter to me! I like you as a person, not because you have two arms! I like you and your character! I believe in you, just like you believed in me. This time it was my job! And together we can achieve our goal,’’ she mumbled and smiled at you.
The both of you practiced a few times and you could perfectly handle the coffee shop with Jaehee and the help of only one arm.
You became the most famous coffee shop and you and Jaehee were really proud.
Saeyoung
The red haired man already knew from your medical records that you only had one arm so he was kind of prepared.
However, Saeyoung didn’t imagine that his mood would dampen so much when he met you for the first time.
Of course it wasn’t because you only had one arm, but because the situation was really bad.
And besides, he was concerned about your health.
Luckily, things calmed down after the whole mess.
It was a big shock that Jihyun died and it was a pretty hard time with Saeran while he stayed at his house, but after the mess was cleaned up, Saeyoung had the chance to listen to your side of the story since he only knew what happened from the medical records.
You finally told him that when you were younger you leaned your hand outside of the car while driving and one day the car from the opposite side was so close to you, that you injured yourself pretty bad and had to have an amputation.
,,Sometimes I still feel the pain in my arm even though I can’t. It’s called phantom pain,’’ you told him.
But your story only triggered Saeyoung to learn something more about artificial limbs and made him build a super high technology prosthesis for you, of course it was only because you agreed with him and felt comfortable.
Saeran
At night in bed, Saeran still apologized to you for hurting you so badly when he was Saeran.
,,I said horrible things to you,’’ he whispered.
,,Don’t worry,’’ you responded.
Saeran hurt you back then, but Ray helped you feel better and this actually made up for all the mistakes Saeran made.
Besides, you knew that he wasn’t in his right mind.
Saeran had no problem with the fact that you only had one arm. Instead, he was pretty amazed by you and all the things you could do despite only having one arm.
You could also do a lot of things with your feet and this made him respect you even more because he knew perfectly well that he would never be able to top you.
Even though he already had so much to do because of Saeyoung and his ,,Father,’’ he always tried his best to help you and support you with everything you had to do.
Having a person like this actually made you feel so much better.
Jihyun
At first, the blue-haired man got scared that Rika did something to you.
Knowing that you were in an accident still made him very sad, but Jihyun still liked the way you enjoyed life.
You were his inspiration for everything in the world.
And thanks to you, his adopted daughter was also able to learn that everyone in the world, despite being different, still deserved to be treated well.
Jihyun was also the first person you ever told about the loss of your arm and the story behind it.
He still remembered the day perfectly.
Even though the poison made him feel sick, listening to your story on your lap and knowing that he had a strong woman beside him made him get through the pain and made him always confront his fears.
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MASTERLIST 2
MASTERLIST 3
13.09.2020// 23:17  MEST
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