Tumgik
#ik winter depression is a thing but summer depression hits hard
forehead-enthusiast · 4 years
Text
A Buncha Tag Games (and yet not all of them)
tagged by: @eggyukhei mwah
tagging: this is a LOT of games so i’ll only tag @atinyphobe @nsheetee and @veonjun for the SECOND (2nd) game. if they or anybody wants to do any of the other games, absolutely go for it and say i tagged you <3 i’d love to see what you guys say!! (also, tk if you felt like you wanted to answer my questions from the second game i’d be interested to see!)
One:
tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?
ok SO the song that probably got me into rv 100% (also yes ik this blog is 99% nct but rv is my forever fave no question) was probably ice cream cake!! i had been a casual listener of many groups up until that point and had never really stanned anyone, but icc was so infectious i found myself watching it over and over. i had heard happiness and be natural before but hadn’t really listened too closely, so icc was the song that captured me. after that, dumb dumb only cemented my love for them more, and the red is still one of my favorite kpop albums to date. rv attracted me primarily because of their incredible vocals and their versatility in genres and concepts. i still get so excited wondering what they’ll tackle next!! they’re just soooo unique and have one of, if not the best discographies of any group. i cannot stress enough, I. Love. RV!! also they’re funny and gay so. anyway stream monster once it drops uwu
Two:
rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!
1. what is your favorite song that’s been released during quarantine? ooooo honestly??? probably something off of Sawayama. literally every song bangs so hard i highly recommend that album to anyone!! i can’t pick a favorite off it but who’s gonna save you now is awesome and xs is just,,, chef’s kiss
2. what is your greatest mishap when you tried cooking? (or something you’ve witnessed) one time, while making soup at my late grandmother’s house on her like gas stove, i put a lid on a pot and somehow that led the pot to be engulfed in flames. IN MY DEFENSE i was like 7, and i’m great at cooking/baking now
3. what’s your go-to outfit or article of clothing? oh i love a nice dress. they can be casual or formal, and you look like you put effort into your outfit except i didn’t because i didn’t have to match anything yo!!!! also shorts have trouble fitting me cause i’m a weird body type so dresses tend to be very comfy for me
4. what is your comfort food? am i allowed to say like all food??? eating in itself is comforting,,, that sounds depressing but also i just like eating yummy food. i guess i’d say like my dad’s fried rice?? its my fave and no one makes it like him soooo
5. what singular moment in your life would you like to relive? i couldn’t tell if this meant like, a good moment you want to re-experience or go back in time and redo a moment and fix it. it’s kind of a hard question so i might cop out and go with a bit of a silly answer: i want to relive the hi touch with astro...... i wanna look at rocky’s beautiful eyes and touch moonbin’s hand ok,,,,
6. what is your favorite line and/or character from a movie, show, or book? i got a bunch but a few off the top of my head are genie lo (the epic crush of genie lo), ty lee, suki (atla), klaus, and ben (umbrella academy) 
7. if you could only choose one ice cream flavor and pizza topping/style for the rest of your life, what would it be? ice cream flavor: this very specific one from a local store that is banana ice cream with strawberries and oreo mixed in. it is heaaaavenly. as for pizza topping, i love a breakfast type pizza with an egg on top and like sausage and stuff!!!
8. what is the worst injury you’ve ever had or witnessed? funny enough, i’ve actually gotten badly injured quite a few times, and always on the face!! god hates me. the worst was probably when i hit a metal bench with my face and it took a chunk out of my cheek. i still have the scar! as for “witnessed” i accidentally broke a grown man’s rib once as a child, so i guess that would count.
9. would you rather explore the unknown of space or the bottom of the ocean? oceaaaan!! i answered this in some other game, but i like how mysterious and yet close the ocean is. like proximity wise it’s so near, yet there’s an insane amount we know nothing about. that’s so frightening but so intriguing
10. if you could be any cartoon character, who would you be? my first thought was literally “kirby. eat fast” GOD my followers are gonna think i’m just a glutton and they’re not even gonna be wrong im dying. but uhh idk mulan or smth?
my questions:
what is your go-to feel good movie?
are you the type of person who’s indecisive about buying, or the type to impulse buy once you see something you like?
do you prefer chocolate-y or fruity candy?
what idol do you think is most similar to you? (not your bias necessarily)
do you have any silly dealbreakers? if so, what are they?
what do you do to unwind?
what is a small thing you like to do for people you love? (be it sending memes, remembering their favorite shows, etc)
what’s/who’s your favorite myth/mythological being?
what is a non-typical pet you would want to have?
do you say pronounce data as day-ta or dah-ta?
THREE
rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people. 
AIR ༉⋆͙̈
i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me
FIRE ༉⋆͙̈
i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing
WATER ༉⋆͙̈
i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words
EARTH ༉⋆͙̈
i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life
AETHER ༉⋆͙̈
i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally
FOUR
the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot and then tag a few blogs you’d like to get to know better! 
PERSONAL
name: sarah
nickname: bells
birthday: april 17th
zodiac: aries
nationality: chinese american
languages: english, some spanish, some korean
gender: female
sexuality: baby bi bi bi~
height: 5′10
BLOG STUFF
inspiration for muse: i suppose nct since i write for them the most?? but i feel like sometimes i come up with the idea before i think of a member so sometimes the muse is just my own fantasies oops
meaning behind my url: i made it at a time where loads of idols were getting bangs and honestly i believe most of them look infinitely better without them, thus i was and still am enthusiastic about foreheads.
blog established: like winter of 2018...?? i think
followers: over 2.5k but most deactivated/left during my hiatus lol
FAVORITES
favourite animals: sharks, chickens, snakes, cats, penguins
favourite books: the epic crush of genie lo and then iron will of genie lo, PERIOD
favourite colour: pink and purple!!
favourite fictional characters: lol, again, genie lo, ty lee, suki, klaus, ben, and just a few more: richard and evelyn o’connell (the mummy), dave (dave), michael (the good place)
favourite flower: sunflower
favourite scent: baking chocolate, heating butter, blackberry, wisteria
favourite season: probably spring! i like warmth but not HEAT
RANDOM
average hours of sleep: ugh idek i sleep horribly
cats or dogs: both, but unfortunately i’ve never had either
coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea but then hot chocolate
current time: 5:29pm
dream trip: go to paris and eat loads of pastries and enjoy the fashions and beauty of the city, and also learn to bake better maybe?
dream job: actress
hobbies: making jewelry, drawing, singing, reading comics
hogwarts house: according to the quizzes, all of them. people who have just met me think slytherin or gryffindor, people who i’m friends with think ravenclaw or hufflepuff, people who know me really well know you can’t box a person into oversimplified archetypes :’) in my assessment of myself, it varies by the day, but i think perhaps gryffindor today?
last movie watched: hot fuzz (a classic)
last song listened to: summer breeze by sf9
no. of blankets you sleep with: like 2
random fact(s): i won lego building competitions as a child, one of my dream roles is anastasia from the musical named after her, i played violin for a very short time, i bake the cakes for all my family and friends’ birthdays, i have strangely strong grip strength
SIX
10 songs i can’t stop listening to:
love me 4 me- rina sawayama
cherry- rina sawayama
in & out- red velvet
crush culture- conan gray
manic- conan gray
the king- conan gray
summer- pentagon
told you now- jeremy jordan (originally sung by sam smith)
fuck this world (interlude)- rina sawayama
someone who loves me- sara bareilles
2 notes · View notes
sleepwalkwith-me · 6 years
Text
rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people
— What was your last…
1. Drink: Coffee
2. Phone call: a friend called me because she took the bus to my house but she didn’t really know where she had to go
3. Text message: i asked a friend what we would give this other friend for his birthday (surprise, we ended on money. how original amirite?!?!)
4. Song you listened to: mystery of love – sufjan stevens (did i cry listening to this??????? maybe)
5. Time you cried: oh. well. listening to mystery of love haha. i saw call me by your name two days ago and idk why but this song just HITS ME LIKE A TRUCK
__ Have you ever…
6. Dated someone twice: i have never actually dated anyone
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah mate no regrats
8. Been cheated on: like i said, have never dated anyone, so no.
9. Lost someone special: yes
10. Been depressed: not really, i haven’t been diagnosed or anything. but sometimes i feel like there’s definitely something up with that brain of mine.
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes. 10/10 would not recommend.
— Fave colours
12. black
13. green
14. yellow
— In the last year have you…
15. Made new friends: yessss. i started a new study in a new city, so i met loads of new people. i’m lucky enough to call some of them very close friends already :)
16. Fallen out of love: Love?????? no. but this year i got over this big crush (iguess? a bit more than just a crush lol) that kinda dominated my life for a year or two.
17. Laughed until you cried: i don’t even remember what it was about but yesterdayme and my friend marijn were in the weirdest mood where everything was funny as heck
18. Found out someone was talking about you: no not really? i mean people probably do but who cares you know
19. Met someone who changed you: i wouldn’t say completely ‘changed’ me, but one of my new friends from university does make me a more WokeTM person so i think that counts as positive change right?
20. Found out who your friends are: not in a bad way, but i graduated high school this year, so now i realise that i don’t speak to a few of my old friends anymore and that they were just friends because i saw them everyday.
21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: yeh.
— General
22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: All of them.
23. Do you have any pets: Noooo, i used to have cute lil bunnies but i have been pet-less for about 8 years i think :(
24. Do you want to change your name: nah. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have the dutch ‘ij’ in my name bc it’s had for non-dutch people to pronounce, but that also makes it cool i guess
25. What did you do for your last birthday: i had 2 exams on my birthday haha, so that was my main activity. But afterwards I went out for dinner and drinks with my friends which was very nice <3
26. What time did you wake up today: 6:30 and i DID NOT LIKE IT
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: downstairs, in my house, pouring myself a tea before going to bed. i came home from a symposium at 23:30 so i needed a little chill out time before i could go to bed
28. What is something you can’t wait for: lots of things!!! things that are happening in the near future, like going to the efteling (dutch themepark) with my friends in a few weeks, going out tomorrow, spending this weekend at my sisters house in amsterdam, or going to mallorca with mah gurlz this summer. But also i can’t wait for things like falling in love!! meeting people that will be in your life forever!!! moving to Utrecht!!! 
30. What are you listening to right now: my mom and dad talking about books they are reading, and the radio (radio 4, classical music) is playing in the background
31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: weirdly; no??? at first i was like yeah ofc everyone knows someone named tom but then i couldn’t think of anyone???? weird dude.
32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: my own stupid ass bc there are a million things i should be doing rn but what am i doing????? filling in this tag bc i’m selfobsessed ha ha lol
33. Most visited website: tumblr or netflix i think
34. Hair colour: Blonde
35. Long or short hair: not like Really Long but it’s over my shoulders so idk
36. Do you have a crush on someone: i’m crushing 24/7 honey, whether it’s on a celebrity, or a cute guy from my class, or even someone that has been even the tiniest bit nice to me haha what’s wrong with me??? idk i love people man
37. What do you like about yourself: i’m always trying to see the good in people, which some people don’t really see as a positive thing and they tell me that it’s gonna get me screwed over or something but idk i think it’s a good thing
38. Want any piercings: atm i have 3 earrings in my left ear, 2 in my right, and also a helix piercing in my right ear. and boiiiiii do i want more! i really like earpiercings but idk which one to get next yet
39. Blood type: don’t know actually. is that weird? is that something i should know? oh well
40. Nicknames: depends on who i’m with, but a few are: karlit, karliño, karlinna, kar(rie), carlos, and heyitscarry (that’s my snapchat, everyone makes fun of me for it lol), 
41. Relationship status: single
42. Sign: ~~*aquarius*~~
43. Pronouns: she/her
44. Fave tv show: it’s usually the one i’m watching at the moment, but a few overall favs are brooklyn nine-nine, new girl, american horror story, teen wolf, queer eye (!!!), jane the virgin, shadowhunters (i know it’s shit but MALEC IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME ALIVE RN), and oh my i could go on. idk, i just really love shows in general; good or ‘bad’, if they make me happy i’m instantly like ‘yup just found my new fav show!!!’
45. Tattoos: sadly, no
46. Right or left handed: righty
47: Ever had surgery: yeah once when i was little, i think i had something with my ear but i don’t even really know
48. Piercings: like i said, just my ears; 3 normal ones on the left, 2 normal ones + a helix on the right
49. Sport: not anymore whoops but i used to dance and do this weird sport called wheel gymnastics. look it up, it’s fun.
50. Vacation: what about it?? uhmmm upcoming ones are a 3 day trip to berlin with this huge student organisation in may, and a week in mallorca with my friends this summer.
51. Trainers: as in.. shoes? like.. sneakers?? idk, don’t own them. i usually wear converse in summer and my fake dr. martins or my heels in winter i guess haha
— More general
52. Eating: rn? nothing, just had dinner tho
53. Drinking: coffeeeee
54. I’m about to watch: the flash, 3x04 
55. Waiting for: my deadlines and exams to be over so i can do nothing without feeling guilty
56. Want: ???? so many things?????
57. Get married: uhmmmmmmmmmmm not yet 
58. Career: well i don’t have one if that’s what you’re asking. but i’m studying sociology so idk i hope to get a job where i can use my sociology-skills
— Which is better
59. Hugs or kisses: both plz 
60. Lips or eyes: eyes
61. Shorter or taller: shorter
62. Older or younger: ?????
63. Nice arms or stomach: arms fuck me the fuck up
64. Hookup or relationships: depends??? 
65. Troublemaker or hesitant: i think a combination of both would be good
— Have you ever
66. Kissed a stranger: ya
67. Drank hard liquor: ya
68. Turned someone down: ya
69. Sex on first date: i’m a big ol’ virgin waddup
70: Broken someone’s heart: yes, sadly.
71. Had your heart broken: notreally
72. Been arrested: haha no 
73. Cried when someone died: yes
74. Fallen for a friend: yessssssss 
— Do you believe in
75. Yourself: i go from yes! i am that bitch! to hell no who is this and what does she think she’s doing 
76. Miracles: i mean, not in a religious way or anything. but i think it’s a cute way of naming small, nice, alsmost-impossible things that happen 
77. Love at first sight: i think you can definitely FEEL that you are going to click with someone just by looking at them, but love? no.
78. Santa Claus: in the netherlands we have a slightly different holiday that we celebrate (don’t worry, we also have christmas) where there’s also a man that gives you presents and such. i don’t really remember but my mom always tells me that i very quickly didn’t buy the impossible things surrounding this Sinterklaas. i would always ask questions like; but HOW THE FUCK does he get to every child in ONE NIGHT??? (well maybe i didn’t ask it like that but.. you get it)
79. Angels: nah
— Misc
80. Eye colour: blue
81. Best friends name: Kim, vienna, femke, and estelle
82. Favourite movie: i don’t like ‘favourite’ questions bc i cannot choose man. it totally depends on what kind of movie we’re talking about??? like, i love movies like 17again and mean girls and high school musical? but i also loove movies like call me by your name??? and things like harry potter??? WHAT KIND ARE WE TALKING ABOUT
83. Favourite actor: again... favourite?? there are actors that i think are really talented, there are some that i just like as a person, there are some that i like just bc they play this character? the one that came to mind was dylan o’brien, bc i think beside his looks and nice personality he is an amazing actor (stiles! VOIDSTILES! Mitch rapp! Thomas! wauw what a guy)
84. Favourite cartoon: i don’t really watch cartoons i a m so r ry
85. Favourite teacher’s name: Meneer van Leeuwen. He was my philosophy teacher, but he also teaches physics and ANW (algemene natuurwetenschappen, was BESTE OOIT), and he was my mentor (not the right word sorry idk) for this big endproject that you have to do at the end of highschool in the netherlands). he was truly the BESt.
Thank you @foolishly-fond for tagging me! i’m always a slut for filling things in about myself l o l so i enjoyed doing this. 
I don’t really know who i should tag, and 20 people is a LOT so youknow, consider yourself tagged if you feel like doing this :) x
0 notes
mslouisadee · 6 years
Text
January Blues, February Brights
Time to get out of a mid-winter January funk. A record crop of Meyer lemons in the greenhouse might help.
It's been tough. I mean, I expected this. Book deadline looming and I just started writing. Even though I lost my job last winter I was fortunate to have a severance package, but it runs out in a month. I'm not ignorant to the fact that I am still quite fortunate, but I also know that changes are on the doorstep, and maybe I haven't prepared enough for them (hello? Health insurance?). Ive been trying to squeeze in doctor appointments and dental work before March. I usually like January too - not only do I love snow, it's my birthday month. I should mention that I've officially reached that time in my life when it's like "birthdays? Really? I'm not talking about it. Then there is this funk which is probably just a combo of everything. Not to mention Post-Holiday Diets, the unusually cold and snowy weather we've been getting here in the Northeast (bomb cyclone and the coldest weather in over 100 years). This all seems to have manifested itself into a "might-as-well-just-wear-sweatpants-all-day-long-and-watch-Netflix" mentality. Not healthy. I have no interest in opening mail. In ordering seeds, or even for looking at nursery sites. I've kind-of lost interest in these things. I dont think that it's depression really, more like the fact that I feel as if I've grown everything and I cant find something new to be interested in. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. I am feeding the birds which is begining to really sound like a very old-man thing - (don't say it).  Still, I'm not doing much more.  Its really only a function. Thistle feeder is out again, dump more in. I'm not 'watching' the birds, which is probably worse now that I think about it. Guilt feeding. They eat alone, (which they probably like). I had little problem writing for the book however, so I suppose that is a good sign. Sitting in my office with the snow falling outside has been one of the most favorite things to do. Yet my problem still seems like that I don't feel like working, or not working for that matter don't dont feel like buying plants, nor watering the ones I have anymore either. Nothing seems interesting anymore, and I've lost confidence in what I am doing. This week our weather seems to have entered another phase -  bit milder (fingers-crossed that it sticks). With these more average temperatures (highs near freezing and lows in the 20's) much of the drama from the early weeks of January has passed. I even am beginning to think about the future more. I actually sowing a bit of seed today -some flats of mesclun.  I even smelled the first whiffs of the Sarcococca hookeriana in the greenhouse (which we need to grow in a pot here in Massachusetts - don't taunt me Oregon or North Carolina!). I'm good with the potted semi-tender shrubs like Sarcococca because under glass on a snowy, January day the greenhouse smells just like Tahiti (OK, more like early spring in the Himalaya - whatever...). It warms my soul and I kind of need that lately. At least it provided some hopefulness that I'll 'like it all' again.
Some casualties from the cold include this Canarina canariensis, but after following lots of chatter on the Pacific Bulb Society newsgroup, its bulb-like root may be OK. Many say that I should plant this tender geophyte that has gorgeous orange bell-shaped flowers like in this post, in the ground in my greenhouse, and it might do better. I'm going to try this. I need something to do.
A few freezes didnt hurt the South African bulbs. I kept the soil dry through most of January, which helps the cells expand in case there is a hard freeze. We had the coldest weather in over 100 years with a week of night temps below -12° F.
My book on vegetable gardenings is underway, mostly photo editing and writing at this phase. So, that has been my focus - choosing the best pics, researching at the library at the horticultural society and writing.
The cyclamen are sturdy fellows, able to withstand some very frosty nights with no harm. As long as the roots don't freeze the more tender species like C. graecum, I'm OK. I was able to fertilize them this week on my first visit out the greenhouse this year,.
South African bulbs really don't seem to mind the cold and the wet. These Babiana fragrans may bloom by springtime. As you can see, I never cleaned up the foliage from last season. It's very fibrous and tough and needs scissors to remove it in when the pot is dormant in mid-summer. I figure that this is what happens in the wild (there are no baboons out there cutting the dead foliage down, just digging and eating the bulbs). The iris-like flowers will be pretty though in a few weeks.
Citrus like these Calamondin oranges are blooming, even though half of the plant died from frost.
Other citrus are just not handling this winter all that well. This is what is left of my big Kumquat tree. Not a victim of frost however, but of a misplaced electric space heater.
Tropaeolim - tjhe vining, high-elevsation tuberous types from the Andes seem to relish this weather though. They look so tender and frail, with thread-like stems yet after the hot, summer dormancy, take off covering little trellis' in just a month - blooms will soon follow.
Tuberous Tropeolum grow from round tubers like potatoes. Here is a new species I am growng -  T. ciliatum, a tuber that I acquired from a collector in September. Its  growth is still small and weak. I think that it will appreciate being moved to a sunnier spot in the greenhouse now that it is getting warmer in there.
Another tropeolum species T. tricolor  looked completely dead, and I feared its late emergence meant that something ate the bulb, but it was just last winters growth that I hadn't cleaned up in the summertime (see a trend here?). Not watered since May, I noticed a bit of thread-like growth earlier this week, and after carefully removing the dead foliage found these new stems twirling around.
Last weekend the sun came out, so after journeying out into the greenhouse - sweatpants and all - I coudl see that most of the Dutch bulbs and South African bulbs were emerging. I moved them all to a sunny sand bed, watered them and in just a few days, things have come back to life.
Scilla messeniaca a lesser-known scilla is beginning to show its buds.
The camellias that were planted in the ground always seem to bloom well even in the coldest winters.  One snowy night in a blizzard two weeks ago the gas man wanted to see what I had in the greenhouse around 2 am, but I told him that it wasn't pot - but I could tell by his expression that he didn't believe me so, I shown a flashlight through the frosty glass and this thing was illuminated. He said "Wow, what the Hell is that?". "Not pot, I replied."
Camellias in pots are hardy too if the roots dont freeze. More sturdy than the insulating bubble wrap it seems.
The South African plants are remarkable cold hardy. This Erica 'Winter's Flame' is just starting to bloom.
Narcissus cantabricus, a native North African narcissus species blooms early in the greenhouse sand bed. It is sweetly fragrant - like cottoncandy (which reminds me - when was the last time I smelled cotton candy? It's sweetly scented like a vanilla candle from Target.).
If I was to grow one Nerine, it would be this one - N. alata or N. undulata. I have six stems in bloom this year. It too didnt seem to mind a few light frosts in early January.
The chili peppers didnt like the frost. And while many people keep some chili pepper plants from year to year for a while (like Chiltepin type), these probobly wont make it. I do have some Chiltepin and Tepin pepper plants in the house, however.
The biggest citrus I have is a massive tub planted with a Mandarin orange tree. It was hit by the blast of the propane furnice, and I fear that it wont recover.
Moving forward, I have all hopes that I am moving out of this funk I'm in.  No worries, I'm a pretty positive guy and maybe I just need a challenge. I can't tolerate 'meh' for long. You're probably thinking that I am just depressed.  Maybe - just a little, but most likely I'm not sleeping because I'm scared, bored and for some reason not motivated because of a combination of all of those things - which is probobly completely normal, right? After all - this is a big life change I'm going through over the next few momnths. With my severance runnings out in march health insurance is my greatest concern (Cobra?).  IT seems that there is no shortage of freelance projects and consulting on my doorstep, but just how much and how fruitful or consistant it will all be, I dont know. I dont do well with inconsistancy - you know, used to that pay check every two weeks. SOrry for thinking aloud here, but if you've read this far, you can probably see that this is just like therapy for me. Social therapy. I've never collected an unemployment check in my life either, but ick - I may have to. I just feel like a failure too I guess. Yet I promise to not let things get to me too much, this blog which I thought that I would have so much time to redesign and improve, will still go on.  I need to move forward and think about the garden again - and what's next on the horizon for my projects. I have jsut started thinking about my annual 'special projects' list, which is a bit overdue.  I am thinking about gladiolus again, a genus I have been putting off for a while now because dahlias got in the way - there are so many lovely crosses if you've even attended a gladiolus society show you know what I mean. Then there are fuschias to try again, but raising them in a different way - training them as standards or as large tubbed specimens, and then perhaps exploring how to create a mini-cut flower garden at home, designed to offer cut flowers for every week of the summer and fall, a mini-flower farm, if you will. Last year I was reminded of how great coleus looks in group containers, and I am imagining an entire collection of coleus - growing them in odd or creative ways - espalier comes to mind. - Asian gourds, a big chapter from my book has inspired me to try on a greater scale. Especially after visiting Chow's parents (a Vietnamese friend of mine) whos family grew so many types in their back yard near where I live. Those will definitely be on my grow list this year - including luffa, sponge gourds and bitter melon and how to grow them, because even though many of us know what a bitter melon looks like - who knows how to cook with them? I've learned this year, and want to share it. Oh yes, and dahlias. And sweet peas. And the tastiest tomatoes - Amy Goldman Fowler's great book THE HEIRLOOM TOMATO has reminded me that the tastiest ones are not any of the varieties I have grown in the past. Thank you Amy! Get it and read it closely - it's fabulously rich with information and well researched. See? I'll be OK. There are then other projects which failed once again that I want to retry until I master them. More about those later. Those potted tubs of 19th century Miognonette are going to be mastered - I know it.
0 notes
mslouisadee · 6 years
Text
January Blues, February Brights
Time to get out of a mid-winter January funk. A record crop of Meyer lemons in the greenhouse might help.
It's been tough. I mean, I expected this. Book deadline looming and I just started writing. Even though I lost my job last winter I was fortunate to have a severance package, but it runs out in a month. I'm not ignorant to the fact that I am still quite fortunate, but I also know that changes are on the doorstep, and maybe I haven't prepared enough for them (hello? Health insurance?). Ive been trying to squeeze in doctor appointments and dental work before March. I usually like January too - not only do I love snow, it's my birthday month. I should mention that I've officially reached that time in my life when it's like "birthdays? Really? I'm not talking about it. Then there is this funk which is probably just a combo of everything. Not to mention Post-Holiday Diets, the unusually cold and snowy weather we've been getting here in the Northeast (bomb cyclone and the coldest weather in over 100 years). This all seems to have manifested itself into a "might-as-well-just-wear-sweatpants-all-day-long-and-watch-Netflix" mentality. Not healthy. I have no interest in opening mail. In ordering seeds, or even for looking at nursery sites. I've kind-of lost interest in these things. I dont think that it's depression really, more like the fact that I feel as if I've grown everything and I cant find something new to be interested in. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. I am feeding the birds which is begining to really sound like a very old-man thing - (don't say it).  Still, I'm not doing much more.  Its really only a function. Thistle feeder is out again, dump more in. I'm not 'watching' the birds, which is probably worse now that I think about it. Guilt feeding. They eat alone, (which they probably like). I had little problem writing for the book however, so I suppose that is a good sign. Sitting in my office with the snow falling outside has been one of the most favorite things to do. Yet my problem still seems like that I don't feel like working, or not working for that matter don't dont feel like buying plants, nor watering the ones I have anymore either. Nothing seems interesting anymore, and I've lost confidence in what I am doing. This week our weather seems to have entered another phase -  bit milder (fingers-crossed that it sticks). With these more average temperatures (highs near freezing and lows in the 20's) much of the drama from the early weeks of January has passed. I even am beginning to think about the future more. I actually sowing a bit of seed today -some flats of mesclun.  I even smelled the first whiffs of the Sarcococca hookeriana in the greenhouse (which we need to grow in a pot here in Massachusetts - don't taunt me Oregon or North Carolina!). I'm good with the potted semi-tender shrubs like Sarcococca because under glass on a snowy, January day the greenhouse smells just like Tahiti (OK, more like early spring in the Himalaya - whatever...). It warms my soul and I kind of need that lately. At least it provided some hopefulness that I'll 'like it all' again.
Some casualties from the cold include this Canarina canariensis, but after following lots of chatter on the Pacific Bulb Society newsgroup, its bulb-like root may be OK. Many say that I should plant this tender geophyte that has gorgeous orange bell-shaped flowers like in this post, in the ground in my greenhouse, and it might do better. I'm going to try this. I need something to do.
A few freezes didnt hurt the South African bulbs. I kept the soil dry through most of January, which helps the cells expand in case there is a hard freeze. We had the coldest weather in over 100 years with a week of night temps below -12° F.
My book on vegetable gardenings is underway, mostly photo editing and writing at this phase. So, that has been my focus - choosing the best pics, researching at the library at the horticultural society and writing.
The cyclamen are sturdy fellows, able to withstand some very frosty nights with no harm. As long as the roots don't freeze the more tender species like C. graecum, I'm OK. I was able to fertilize them this week on my first visit out the greenhouse this year,.
South African bulbs really don't seem to mind the cold and the wet. These Babiana fragrans may bloom by springtime. As you can see, I never cleaned up the foliage from last season. It's very fibrous and tough and needs scissors to remove it in when the pot is dormant in mid-summer. I figure that this is what happens in the wild (there are no baboons out there cutting the dead foliage down, just digging and eating the bulbs). The iris-like flowers will be pretty though in a few weeks.
Citrus like these Calamondin oranges are blooming, even though half of the plant died from frost.
Other citrus are just not handling this winter all that well. This is what is left of my big Kumquat tree. Not a victim of frost however, but of a misplaced electric space heater.
Tropaeolim - tjhe vining, high-elevsation tuberous types from the Andes seem to relish this weather though. They look so tender and frail, with thread-like stems yet after the hot, summer dormancy, take off covering little trellis' in just a month - blooms will soon follow.
Tuberous Tropeolum grow from round tubers like potatoes. Here is a new species I am growng -  T. ciliatum, a tuber that I acquired from a collector in September. Its  growth is still small and weak. I think that it will appreciate being moved to a sunnier spot in the greenhouse now that it is getting warmer in there.
Another tropeolum species T. tricolor  looked completely dead, and I feared its late emergence meant that something ate the bulb, but it was just last winters growth that I hadn't cleaned up in the summertime (see a trend here?). Not watered since May, I noticed a bit of thread-like growth earlier this week, and after carefully removing the dead foliage found these new stems twirling around.
Last weekend the sun came out, so after journeying out into the greenhouse - sweatpants and all - I coudl see that most of the Dutch bulbs and South African bulbs were emerging. I moved them all to a sunny sand bed, watered them and in just a few days, things have come back to life.
Scilla messeniaca a lesser-known scilla is beginning to show its buds.
The camellias that were planted in the ground always seem to bloom well even in the coldest winters.  One snowy night in a blizzard two weeks ago the gas man wanted to see what I had in the greenhouse around 2 am, but I told him that it wasn't pot - but I could tell by his expression that he didn't believe me so, I shown a flashlight through the frosty glass and this thing was illuminated. He said "Wow, what the Hell is that?". "Not pot, I replied."
Camellias in pots are hardy too if the roots dont freeze. More sturdy than the insulating bubble wrap it seems.
The South African plants are remarkable cold hardy. This Erica 'Winter's Flame' is just starting to bloom.
Narcissus cantabricus, a native North African narcissus species blooms early in the greenhouse sand bed. It is sweetly fragrant - like cottoncandy (which reminds me - when was the last time I smelled cotton candy? It's sweetly scented like a vanilla candle from Target.).
If I was to grow one Nerine, it would be this one - N. alata or N. undulata. I have six stems in bloom this year. It too didnt seem to mind a few light frosts in early January.
The chili peppers didnt like the frost. And while many people keep some chili pepper plants from year to year for a while (like Chiltepin type), these probobly wont make it. I do have some Chiltepin and Tepin pepper plants in the house, however.
The biggest citrus I have is a massive tub planted with a Mandarin orange tree. It was hit by the blast of the propane furnice, and I fear that it wont recover.
Moving forward, I have all hopes that I am moving out of this funk I'm in.  No worries, I'm a pretty positive guy and maybe I just need a challenge. I can't tolerate 'meh' for long. You're probably thinking that I am just depressed.  Maybe - just a little, but most likely I'm not sleeping because I'm scared, bored and for some reason not motivated because of a combination of all of those things - which is probobly completely normal, right? After all - this is a big life change I'm going through over the next few momnths. With my severance runnings out in march health insurance is my greatest concern (Cobra?).  IT seems that there is no shortage of freelance projects and consulting on my doorstep, but just how much and how fruitful or consistant it will all be, I dont know. I dont do well with inconsistancy - you know, used to that pay check every two weeks. SOrry for thinking aloud here, but if you've read this far, you can probably see that this is just like therapy for me. Social therapy. I've never collected an unemployment check in my life either, but ick - I may have to. I just feel like a failure too I guess. Yet I promise to not let things get to me too much, this blog which I thought that I would have so much time to redesign and improve, will still go on.  I need to move forward and think about the garden again - and what's next on the horizon for my projects. I have jsut started thinking about my annual 'special projects' list, which is a bit overdue.  I am thinking about gladiolus again, a genus I have been putting off for a while now because dahlias got in the way - there are so many lovely crosses if you've even attended a gladiolus society show you know what I mean. Then there are fuschias to try again, but raising them in a different way - training them as standards or as large tubbed specimens, and then perhaps exploring how to create a mini-cut flower garden at home, designed to offer cut flowers for every week of the summer and fall, a mini-flower farm, if you will. Last year I was reminded of how great coleus looks in group containers, and I am imagining an entire collection of coleus - growing them in odd or creative ways - espalier comes to mind. - Asian gourds, a big chapter from my book has inspired me to try on a greater scale. Especially after visiting Chow's parents (a Vietnamese friend of mine) whos family grew so many types in their back yard near where I live. Those will definitely be on my grow list this year - including luffa, sponge gourds and bitter melon and how to grow them, because even though many of us know what a bitter melon looks like - who knows how to cook with them? I've learned this year, and want to share it. Oh yes, and dahlias. And sweet peas. And the tastiest tomatoes - Amy Goldman Fowler's great book THE HEIRLOOM TOMATO has reminded me that the tastiest ones are not any of the varieties I have grown in the past. Thank you Amy! Get it and read it closely - it's fabulously rich with information and well researched. See? I'll be OK. There are then other projects which failed once again that I want to retry until I master them. More about those later. Those potted tubs of 19th century Miognonette are going to be mastered - I know it.
0 notes