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realcube · 3 years

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haikyuu!! characters with a chubby! s/o 💗

characters: tsukishima, oikawa, atsumu, osamu & suna

thank you anon for this cute request 🥺

tw// comfort, fluff, angst if you squint, insecure! reader, swearing, they/them reader but reader wears a dress (in osamu’s)

(a/n): anon requested comfort but i feel bad bc i’m writing this like ‘no, (y/n)! stop being sad! you’re beautiful! 😡’ then i remember that i can just select+delete the pain away💗💖

Kei Tsukishima

let’s not pretend like tsukki gives a fuck what you look like tbh ✋

like nobody is ‘perfect’ and everyone is insecure (to varying degrees) so why would he care about your weight?

nobody ticks every single box to meet society’s definition of ‘beauty’

plus, tsukki thought beauty standards were stupid away so he created his own - and you meet every single one 💖

in fact, almost everyone meets his beauty standards - besides himself ‘:)

he seriously doesn’t care about your weight tbh, it’s the most trivial thing so why would he care?

although, he wasn’t naïve enough to think that everyone was like-minded

your front of ‘i don’t care about what other people think of me’ was strong enough to fool even the most observant of poeple, including tsukki

however, tsukishima failed to take into consideration that you were his girlfriend, meaning that you could be playing the same game as him; ‘pretend to not care about superficial things like beauty so nobody will think for a second that you are insecure about your body’

he wasn’t one to give compliments but neither were you tbh so the mutual agreement y’all have of ‘let’s call each other names as a form of endearment to avoid those awkward moments were you are looking for the right words for praise but can’t come up with anything’ was fair

but after you accidentally sent him a self-deprecating ‘joke’ message that was clearly meant for a friend, he never passed up the opportunity to compliment you ever again

like he kinda just stared at the message like 😮 ‘does (y/n) seriously care about their weight? why? it doesn’t even matter. how stupid! who told them that the shape of their body is important? bc it’s not..’

then he turns to look in the mirror like ‘wow you srsly need to put on muscle, lanky bitch. or else (y/n) will probably leave you for some built jackass like kuroo. pick up some weights, noodle arms!’

anyway, he’s not too good with words and comfort in situations like these but he’ll probably reply to your text with something out-of-character and surprisingly sweet

to paraphrase (bc the actual text would probably be like a whole damn persuasive essay LMAO he starts with the introduction, makes five points and finishes with a conclusion pfft) , i think it would be something like: ‘hey, (y/n). ik that text was probably meant for one of your friends (but if they’re the ones making you feel bad about your weight then you should probably drop those toxic cunts anyway 💅✨) but i just wanted to say that even though you are the biggest clown i’ve ever met (/j) you’re still v beautiful 💗 stop being insecure or i’ll pass away ⚰💀 ok thx love you bye’

Tōru Oikawa

how are you insecure if you’re dating oikawa? /j

like he is such a hypeman

whenever y’all take pics in your ✨fancy outfits ✨ for formal event, he acts as though you are second most beautiful thing on the face of this earth 😍 (second to him ofc)

but he only does that so he can keep up the reputation he has of being effortlessly confident bc he’s scared that if it slips for even a second, everyone will see how truly insecure he is

truthfully, in his eyes, you come first place by miles (❤ ω ❤)

like srsly, you’re so gorgeous in that dress!! he hopes that you know that he is joking about the whole ‘second place’ thing bc you should be able to tell by the way he looks at you that you’re genuinely the most striking person he’s ever laid his eyes on

you never acted overly confident in front of him but he definitely didn’t think you were as insecure as you are

he thought you were just..humble :)

sometimes he’d hear you mutter something mean about yourself as you passed the mirror but he paid no mind to it as he figured that you just cared about your appearance and wanted to maintain a certain image

however, once he was made aware that you didn’t want to maintain your image but rather, change it - he never let you murmur anything nasty about yourself under your breath ever again, not without proceeding to tackle you to the ground and shower you with his love, affection & praise 💞💕❤

and he never made a ‘second place’ joke ever again, he started his honesty streak by reassuring you that you’ll always be the number one in his eyes 🤩

also, after that, he was a lot more open about his own insecurities with you and you made sure to respect them and help him in a similar way that he did

there is just so much love and admiration between the two of you and at first you were both to shy to express it but now, you both are showering each other in compliments 24/7 bc you both just want the other one to know how perfect you view them as (❁´◡`❁)

Atsumu Miya

atsumu is a hypeman like oikawa but...better :)

IT’S BC HE HAS NO SHAME

he’ll compliment you on anything you wear and he makes it a point to use the most inappropriate compliment as possible, relative to the outfit you’re wearing

so if you’re wearing your pyjamas, he’ll call you ‘glamourous’

if you are wearing a swimsuit, he’ll call you ‘elegant’

if you’re in your work clothes/school uniform, he’ll call you ‘sexy’

and if you’re in lingerie, he’ll call you ‘adorable’

but it makes you blush so hey, no complaints

so when he finds out that you’re actually insecure about your weight, he’s just like ‘no ❤’

like he hates the idea that when you look in the mirror, you don’t see the god(dess) he sees

like why? it’s the same person

💞 fuck ‘perception’ 💞

💕 ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ TF YOU ARE THE FUCKING BEAUTY💕

grrr he was so mad

but he was also soft

he was like ‘if (y/n) insecure? then why hot? then why pretty? then why fit perfectly into my arms?’

plus, THIGHS

he’d never diss a person bc they had small thighs or anything BUT he’d also NEVER complain about being given the chance to be with someone with some good thighs 👍

tbh the best could do to help was compliment you ten times harder to eliMINATE ALL YOUR INSECURIES

(and ofc i don’t mean that in a way - for example - if you’re insecure about your nose, he’ll fkn chop it off......he won’t chop your nose off LMAO he’ll just show you how much he loves it, to the point where you have no choice but to love it too ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ )

anyway, plz love (or at least, tolerate) yourself or else he’ll suffocate you with all his love and affection :D

Osamu Miya

osamu is at a loss when it comes to typical beauty standards tbh

to him, weight (and most things) are similar to..hand size, for example

just like how you can’t imagine someone feeling self-conscious about the size of their hand (especially if their hand is a healthy size)

he can’t imagine why some one would be shamed for their weight (especially if they’re a healthy size)

so had no idea you could possibly be insecure about something like that and he probably on realised after a few years in the relationship 😅

there was a formal event coming up and y’all were going as dates so you wanted to shop for outfits together

as couples do ✌

anyway, he was on a dress site, scrolling away until you pointed out one that you thought was pretty - and it matched the color of the tie osamu bought too!

it was a fair price (for a formal dress 🙄 which is probably like $68/50) so osamu was like ‘buy it then ( •̀ ω •́ )✧’ bc he thought it would so gorgeous on you

but you were like ‘no’

and after he pried further, you explained how you thought it wouldn’t ‘suit your body type’

GRRR HE dislikes IT WHEN PPL SAY THIS SO MUCH BC HOE YOU DON’T HAVE A BODY TYPE YOU’VE GOT A BODY 😡💕 WEAR THE DAMN DRESS IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL

but like deadass it’s not your blood type- it’s just a thing ppl made up to make ppl (mostly women) feel bad about themselves for no reason

but that might just be his inner atsumu talking 🤷‍♂️

he didn’t even know what to say at first- he was just like ????? body type ????

but once he figured out what you meant, he still had no idea what to say- at least, without sounding rude

what if someone came up to you and told you they were insecure about the shape of their knee.......what do you even say???

so he was silent for like the rest of the day

you decided to give him some space just in case something happened which had upset him

he had no idea what to say, in all honesty, so he hoped that his actions spoke louder than words

around 3 days had passed since you last spoke to osamu and you were beginning to think something you had said made him uncomfortable

you were studying in your room until there was a ring at your door so you rushed downstairs and you opened it to reveal a package sitting on your doormat

you had recently ordered some cleaning equipment so you were sure that the content of the package was probably that

so imagine your surprise when you tear it open to reveal — you guessed it — the dress 💕

Rintarō Suna

when he says that he doesn’t care what ppl look like, he means it

he upkeeps his own appearance though bc..it’s his!

like why would he care about what weight you are? that’s none of his business

as you can tell, he’s generally not shallow but sometimes when y’all are just cuddling and your face is pressed to his chest, the words ‘you’re so cute’ just fall from his lips

so ofc he appreciates compliments over his skills, personality, humour etc over flattery about his appearance

hence, the praise he gives you is usually based around those things too bc he just thinks that you’re just like him in the fact you don’t appreciate skin-deep comments

so when he found out that you’re actually insecure about your weight (or something else), he kinda blames himself

he thinks that the whole reason you’re not extremely confident in your appearance is all due to him and the fact he fact he maybe didn’t compliment you on your looks enough — but that’s not to say that he doesn’t think you’re beautiful

you’re the most radiant person he’s ever laid his eyes on and he thought you knew that regardless of whether he vocalised it or not

he wasn’t really sure what to do tbh

bc he loved you and wanted to comfort you ofc but he was scared of making things worse

like what if something he says accidentally makes you so upset that you break-up with him 😭

but he knew he couldn’t just stay silent about the issue, especially when he wanted to say to much

thus, he sent you a heartfelt message on discord

(rather than snap, whatsapp etc so he could edit it after he posts it bc knowing him, he’ll probably write something, reread it ten times then as soon as he hits send, he spots a bunch of mistakes)

and he’d explain how you’re simply divine regardless of your insecurity and if anything, it just makes you cuter 😍

ok ok so i really don’t want it so seem like he has a fetish bc HE DOESN’T

but he think your curves are so fun and pretty ❤

like everything about you is pretty but suna just can’t comprehend why you’re insecure about something like your weight when he literally adores it (bc he adores everything about you)

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charminglatina · 3 years

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I’m done with Riverdale.

I gave Riverdale and the writers of this show so many chances to fix their shit. I gave them so many chances to write better storylines, to stop with the repetitive shit, to stop writing the same boring couples every single season, to stop with the character assassination, to stop with the fan service, to try different relationships and refreshing dynamics, to stop destroying characters/couples for the sake of other characters/couples, etc. And the show just continues to let me down over and over and over again. Last night’s episode was the worst episode in Riverdale history. Relationships were destroyed left and right, characters were assassinated and written out of character. Archie was completely OOC in last night’s episode. He was a complete fucking asshole and prick. Archie in no way looked like the hero and protagonist of Riverdale. He didn’t live up to the values, ideals and standards that he claims to have. Instead, he came off as an unsympathetic, emotionless, disgusting, cheating, fickle piece of garbage douchebag. Archie Andrews is no fucking hero and the writers completely destroyed his character within 45 minutes and a single episode. He is irredeemable from my point of view and his character is beyond repair at this point. There is nothing that can fix that mess of a character. His treatment of women in general is disgusting and misogynistic. The way he treated Betty in 5x08 was absolutely abhorrent, degrading and despicable. He acted like he had zero emotions or feelings for her and that he just used her for sex. He then dumps her and runs back to the same toxic relationship with Veronica. Even after seven years, Archie hasn’t changed or grown at all.He’s still the same stupid and immature punk that he was in high school. FUCK ARCHIE ANDREWS. He’s THE WORST main character, lead, and protagonist I’ve ever seen on any show. Not even Elena Gilbert from TVD or Lucas Scott from OTH is as horrible or badly written as he is. Archie is much more of a villain than a hero. There’s nothing that the writers can do to make Archie a good character again. His character is beyond reproach and they should be ashamed to have a piece of shit like Archie leading their show. Veronica is acting like a thirsty, desperate, trampy whore throwing herself at another man while she’s still married and the ink hasn’t even dried on her divorce papers. She has revealed herself to be an extremely controlling, domineering, conniving, money hungry and manipulative bitch. She is so fucking detestable and unlikeable. I can’t root for her character. I actually HATE Veronica now and I never thought I would say that. The writers completely butchered her character just as badly as Archie’s. It’s evident that after five seasons, the writers don’t know what the fuck to do with her character but have her be Hiram’s chew toy or having her constantly chasing after Archie like some pathetic desperate hussy. She’s become the worst character on the show and she has had zero character development. All of her storylines are the same: they either revolve around her father or around men in general. Veronica is a shallow character that lacks complexity and depth. She is nothing more than Hiram Lodge with lipstick and a skirt/dress. As someone who is Latina, Veronica is a horrible representation of Latina and hispanic women in media. Veronica Lodge is an absolute embarrassment to the Hispanic and Latinx community and I’m ashamed of her character at this point. She doesn’t represent me and I don’t want her kind of character to represent my community. RAS and the writers clearly hate Camila Mendes. I can’t say that Camila’s acting is helping matters either. Betty is an emotionally unstable, whiny, pathetic doormat for Archie and a complete fucking emotional mess. She was nothing but a sex toy/booty call for Archie so that he could get his rocks off. As soon as the sex wore off, Archie and no problem with dumping her and throwing her away ;ike a dirty tissue. And Betty didn’t fight for herself. She didn’t fight for her feelings. She didn’t stand up to Archie for disrespecting her like that and using her. Archie used her for pleasure and than acted as if she were nothing to him. And Betty just fucking took it?? Why doesn't Betty just stand up for herself for once? Why doesn’t she stop being such a doormat for him and letting Archie stomp on her feelings all the time? Does she have no self respect? The one thing that makes Betty’s character somewhat salvageble is the fact that Lili Reinhart is an amazing fucking actress and for that, you can’t help but feel sympathy for her even if she’s being written as a pathetic doormat and Archie’s sex toy. Chad is a narcissistic, abusive POS who is Hiram 2.0. What was the purpose of his character on the show? Just to cause some tension between Varchie? What a waste of an actor and character. Jughead is a pathetic drunk and a lazy bum with no purpose. His sole reason for existing is to get drunk every episode, get abducted by aliens and be saved by girls. The writers are ruining my fave character on the show. Kevin is a cheating piece of shit. He has no clue what monogamy is or what a real relationship stands for and means. He’s nothing more than a walking and talking negative gay stereotype. Reggie was completely destroyed this season. They had him turn on his friends and side with Hiram, the town bully. Reggie is a complete douche and any character development he had in the earlier seasons has vanished. The writers butchered his character horribly and it’s a shame because Charles Melton is a decent dude and actor who deserves a better storyline and material. Cheryl is a sociopath with no remorse for her horrible behaviour and she treats Toni like garbage. I don’t know how Toni can stand being with her or around her. She doesn’t give a shit who she hurts in the process as long as she is creating chaos for her own amusement. Cheryl is a horrible person and the fact that she has had no development for hasn’t changed makes things worse. Also, it’s evident that Madeleine Petsch (along with the rest of the cast, LBR), is completely phoning it in all season. Her acting is terrible and cringeworthy. At this point, Cheryl is so awful and toxic that I don't think I want her to be with Toni or for Choni to reunite in the future. Toni deserves better than this red haired creature. Toni is, once again and as usual, being sidelined. I expected this to happen sooner than later. I figured that Toni would be relegated to a support character once more or to go back to being Cheryl’s punching bag. Though Toni being sidelined isn’t really her fault or the writers fault because Vanessa is on maternity leave. As if the characters haven't been destroyed, the relationships have been slaughtered and decimated left and right. Choni is toxic as fuck. Barchie was made out to be nothing of substance but sex (plus the way they got together is sickening including the cheating and the FWB plot line which amounted to nothing in the end). Bughead is an awkward repetitive and annoying bore with no chemistry. Varchie is the worst couple on the show, toxic as hell with no chemistry and takes up too much screen time. Kangs was destroyed for absolutely no reason. The only couple that has potential to be something great and substantial is Jabitha but considering the writers track record, I expect them to ruin them for Bughead. It’s only a matter of time. Tick tock. ⏰ To top it all off, the storylines are absolutely fucking ridiculous this season. Archie with his stupid overblown hero complex trying to save Riverdale? BORING. Hiram being the same boring villain AGAIN and trying to take down the same group of teenagers he was harassing seven years ago? REPETITIVE. The Mothman/Aliens storyline? We’re dealing with fucking ALIENS??? Aliens of all things? What the actual fuck are the writers smoking?! Then there’s the whole Polly storyline which is boring and repetitive.. Try something different for fucks sake. I’m not gonna get into the whole TBK nonsense which also reeks of repetitive storytelling. There's way too many plot lines and storylines being told and it’s a jumbled, incoherent mess. There’s only so much nonsense that you can take before you finally snap and say enough is enough. I’m at that point. For me to cut something or someone out of my life for good, it’s got to be something or someone really horrible. Riverdale is one of those things. Riverdale has made my viewing and fandom experience absolutely fucking miserable. It’s caused me significant upset and emotional distress because of how attached I was to these characters and relationships. Now it seems like it was all a waste. What was the point? Why did I stick around to watch the characters and the relationships on this show get butchered? The writers don’t know what the fuck they are doing. They continue to be stuck in the same rut and a time jump hasn’t fixed that. I’M DONE. There’s no more chances. The show is dead to me as are the Riverdale cast and the writers. The show should just end this season. Season 6 should either be cancelled or shortened to 10 episodes. Stop wasting the audience’s time with this garbage.

#barchie #anti bughead #anti varchie #jeronica #choni #kangs #jabitha #betty cooper #archie andrews #veronica lodge #jughead jones #cheryl blossom #toni topaz #riverdale #anti riverdale

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hyooniquelee · 6 years

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my heart feels heavy — Mr. Sunshine Episode 13, spoilers and commentary lol

I just have to put this here so I’m really sorry if this will contain A LOT of probably unecessary feels. I will start from Episode 13 because I’m lazy and you can read it from others so, from Episode 13, I’m giving my piece (or whole— because PFFFFFFFT)

I have to say this first. I like how Mr. Sunshine’s casts have their own airing time. You get me? They have their own limelight.

Let’s start from Aeshin’s cousin Aesoon. Didn’t we all hate her for being mean to Aeshin and for stealing things she can steal from their home? For gambling too much and wasting money? But here we get her story. We see the woman behind those stupid things she does. She got married —pretty young although this is customary at that time— to a man she probably doesn’t like or love. She can’t give her husband a child even after 10 years of being married, so the husband took in a mistress to have a possible heir. Imagine the stress and humiliation she’s feeling and getting. But at the end of it all, all she can do is smile even after getting slapped. The harsh reality for the women at that time.

Also, that part where Ahjumma Haman-daek, asks herself:

I’m now asking myself the same thing (I mean, aren’t you too?). The two of them know they can’t possibly be together given their circumstances and stand in life but— well. This wouldn’t be a drama without that. Let’s just see where this would take them—and us.

Aeshin’s grandfather is now on the move. Too bad Lee Wan Ik’s spies are everywhere and are quick to move (honestly, why can’t this old man give us some time off?)

And Huiseong, our man (okay let me set this straight, yeonseok aka dongmae is MY man) I must admit, I find his love for Aeshin shallow. Like, there’s no solid foundation(? I suppose that’s the right word for that) for that “love”. He doesn’t have that back story or enough reasons to love Aeshin the way the other two does. But ofcourse I know (WE KNOW) why he has to leave and prefers not going back. And yes I know too, he’s also meant to love her for all the reasons he have eventhough I dont understand it. And so now he’s starting to finally creep into our hearts as he’s finally showing how he trully loves Aeshin. From accepting what she do, to wearing those suits and to lying infront of her grandfather saying how he doesn’t like everything he actually LOVES about her. This poor (rich)boy’s about to get his heart crunched to the ground.

NOW~ *DUDUNNNN* Let’s go to dongmaeeeeeeeee~ But let’s rewind a bit of Hina and Aeshin’s talk. Aeshin’s asking Hina for some money because she has to pay Dongmae for the girl’s freedom as ssennin the past episodes and this is what Hina gave and said:

The money doesn’t really matter because our lady Hina here knows how Aeshin controls Dongmae’s soft heart. *ugly sobbing*

Dongmae, oh dongmae. What a soft, fragile heart you have. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF?! I’m seriously pulling my hair everytime I see Dongmae’s character soften just for Aeshin. I know their history, but UGH, every episode I say this, DONGMAE PLEASE BE HAPPY FIND ANOTHER GIRL!!!!!! Because you deserve to be happy too! But as the story progress we can all see what happiness means to Dongmae. Eventhough it is evident how hard he tried to balance everything, and had a hard time because he knows he love Aeshin but he doesn’t understand why she stands for Joseon, at the end, or atleast at this point, we know he really loves Aeshin. And he believes in her more than whatever he believes in. And although he knows he’ll get nothing in return (he doesn’t have an edge unlike Huiseong the arranged fiancé or Eugene the lover), he’s still willing to stand by her— even as a shadow.

Let me just add, how annoyed I got with Aeshin! Girrrrrllllllll!!!!!! Don’t be so harsh on him please! My heart can’t take this DONGMAEEEEEEEEEEE~ waeeeeeeeeeee~ That’s just Aeshin being Aeshin. She likes what she likes. If she doesn’t like someone or something, she says it. It’s just our(my) boy’s luck that she doesnt like him the same way. My heart lurched when she dropped the bag containing the money and dongmae took a coin. (Just like what Hina said H E L L O) Because he’s professing he’ll stand by her whether she likes it or not, with permission or without. (WOOOO this drama never fail to stress me out)

I CRIED okay I CRIED. Joseph! Joseph!

I was expecting Joseph’s death (bec my friend told me it probably would be Joseph) BUT DID I EXPECT THIS? NOOOOOOO. That awful flashback brought me to tears. I STILL CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEART. It’s so painful. I honestly thought Joseph didn’t really help Eugene that much. Not until Eugene said himself that Joseph stood as his father figure all these years. Joseph took care of Eugene in the means he can provide. Like what was said, “to a poor missionary, ointment costs a lot” but still, he gave Eugene one because he knows that’s all he can give him since he can’t protect him. And Eugene knows that too. That Joseph really did care for him. That’s why he appreciated him and looked up to him as his father figure.

I’m bracing myself for more of these. But please, just look at Sheldon because that’s me trying to cope up.

To end this unsolicited and opinionated post of mine,

I ask myself every week:

#mr sunshine #gu dong mae #go ae shin #choi yu jin #kim hui seong #kdrama #why do i even bother

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fanfics-await-you · 7 years

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Vibrance (Part 2)

Prompt

Pairing: Cassian Andor x Reader

Summary: Soulmates AU. You are excited about finally finding colour in the world, but unfortunately both Cassian and yourself are idiots when it comes to love.

Tags: here’s that aforementioned angst

Notes: I am Australian, colour has a ‘u’, grey has an ‘e’, and you can fight me. in this universe, you can see colour until you hit puberty and then again when you find your soulmate (just I don’t have to do the ‘wait what is that? blood orange, periwinkle?’ ‘yeah idk dude’). Also, colour doesn’t just appear when you touch/see them, it’s more as you fall in love kinda thing i think. it’s been awhile, ik & soz

Word Count: 1,272

Part 1

Part 3

You take every opportunity you can get to escape outside. Every day more colours are beginning to bloom and you’re remembering what true beauty looks like for the first time in years. Blue remains to be your favourite; the vase of cobalt Astorian blossoms you keep on your bedside table is testament to this. However, as much as you love the sky, you really wish you could figure out who the hell your soulmate is as you’re at an absolute, fucking loss. Cassian keeps hopefully skipping into your thoughts, but you push him aside every time; that was a dangerous road to go down. Ahmed Sol maybe? You mean, he was handsome (very much so) but there was no chemistry so surely not. It could be Alex from Tactical, but you figured that was unlikely given the fact that you two were only newly friends.

Who the fuck could it be?

You blow the hair out of your eyes in frustration before you jolt upright, nearly falling, at the voice calling from the ground below, “Y/N, should I even ask what you’re doing?”

You grasp a tree branch and swing slightly to appraise Cassian before responding, “No. I’m doing exactly what I look like I’m doing.”

“Swinging from a tree like an Endor Howler Monkey? I mean, fair enough.”

You roll your eyes and sit back against the trunk, “Sure buddy, whatever makes you happy.”

He doesn’t respond and you think you’ve pissed him off until the strong rustling of leaves tells you otherwise. You open your eyes and look down to see him just below you.

“Are you going to help me up?”

“No. This branch will break clean off if I pull your ass up here. Find your own.”

He stares up at you for a moment like he’s going to pull you off. You grasp the tree tighter but Cassian then hops slightly and pulls himself up to the branch right of you. Your breath hitches slightly at the strip of bronzed skin that peaks out from underneath his shirt and the muscles of his arms under strain. You quickly find something of immense interest off to your left while you wait for the blood that’s rushed to your face to cool.

“Did I say something to offend you?”

You’re surprised, “No, I thought I saw a f-“

“Not today, just in general Y/N.”

Confusion painted across your features, you turn to Cassian. He is visibly concerned and your heart drops in guilt. In your mess of finding your soulmate, you had been distracted and even avoiding Cassian because he made the whole fiasco even more baffling.

“No, of course not. I’ve just been busy trying to find my s-“

“Soulmate, I know. Was that it? I wasn’t trying to be dismissive, I promise.”

“I know, Cassian. I… I’ve just been busy, you know? Like, this part is supposed to be easy. I’ve found the person, technically, so it should be smooth flying but here we are!” You gesture to the world around you in frustration and sit back.

“So you still haven’t found them?”

You fight the irritation growing in your stomach, “No Cassian, I haven’t - evidently.”

“You’re right, sorry. It’s just… surely you have a guess?”

Your tongue considers his name but mercifully your brain catches on first, “Ahmed Sol? I mean, he’s always finding excuses to walk me places.”

“The fact that he’s handsome doesn’t hurt either, does it?” His words are joking, light, but Cassian’s tone is brittle.

Who do you think you are, Cassian Andor… Two can play this game.

“I mean, you’re not wrong; his lieutenant’s uniform is definitely a bonus… Maybe I should go see him before procedures this evening,” you look off into the distance in what you hope looks like a dreamy fashion.

A minute passes before he responds, “But he would have said something by now surely if he’s as enamoured as you say.”

“I never said ‘enamoured’. What’s your problem, you’re the one who asked me to guess.”

“Yeah, I just never thought you’d say Sol of all people.”

“Oh sorry, your highness. Who would you recommend then?”

The silence is heavy, ugly, and you wonder how everything had gone wrong so quickly.

“… It’s been weeks, Y/N. Surely you should know by now.”

The calm snaps.

“Do you think I’m making this up? Really, Cass?!”

His examination shouldn’t bother you but oh Maker, it really does. Every stabbing little comment is a reminder that it’s not him. Or more to the point, that it was Cassian but he didn’t feel the same. You push yourself from the branch and the thought from your mind. You would not walk that path. Not today, not ever.

“Of course I don’t mean that Y/-“

“Whatever, Cassian,” you land with a quiet thump, “Can we just promise to never talk about this again?”

“Why, Y/N?”

You spin back around and look up so you can stare him down, “Why?! Because you keep making these needling, fucking irritating comments like this has anything to do with you! Cassian, if you spent half the energy you’ve been using on interrogating me on finding your own soulmate, maybe you’d actually have someone.”

The aftertaste of regret is instantaneous and potent. You turn away immediately, trying to blink away the furious tears building in your eyes. What were you thinking?!? Unfortunately, the thud of boots follows only seconds later.

Cassian’s voice calls as clear as day, “Really, Y/N?! I’m only asking because I give a shit. Also, you’re the one who came to me about this! Either way, it doesn’t matter. I do have someone, Y/N, you just never bothered to ask.”

Your tracks stop dead.

No.

He wheels in front of you and crosses his arms as he waits for your response, anger plain across his face. Not that it matters.

You are caving in like a shallow promise under pressure. Your eyes are burning and colours are flashing in and out of focus, mimicking your heartbeat. It feels like there’s nothing left in the world to say but how could I have been so stupid!. It feels like Cassian has taken a knife and cut open your ribs, exposing your lungs to the sunshine. It feels like fire crystals are growing in the pit of your stomach, slowly burning you alive. It feels worse than you thought you were capable of.

So, you articulate these feelings as best as you are currently able.

“Bullshit.”

His expression is incredulous, “Bullshit, really?! You hypocrite! Look, there’s blue, yellow, green.” His hands are erratically pointing around you.

You can’t bring yourself to look, but deep down you know he’s not lying. You shove past Cassian and throw a dismissive hand gesture over your shoulder. You hope this is the end of the conversation, because right now you need to be anywhere he’s not. Unfortunately he has other ideas.

“You don’t get to start this and then just run away, Y/N! Answer me, Y/N: what is your problem with me?!”

Your lightning-quick sorrow has swiftly turned back to anger and you stomp back towards him, stopping mere centimetres from him. His irises are golden chestnut, warm, flecked with amber and intoxicating; had you not already been drowning in anger, you would have been tempted to try in his eyes.

“I’ve already told you my problem, Cassian. I don’t like all your ques-“

“To quote you, Y/N, ‘bullshit’! I know you and that’s not it! What. Is. Your. Problem. With. Me?!”

“I love you, alright! I love you Cassian!”

#cassian andor #cassian andor x reader #cassian andor fanfiction #rogue one #rogue one fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #star wars #my works

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lodelss · 4 years

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Gilbert M. Gaul | The Geography of Risk | Farrar, Straus and Giroux | September 2019 | 24 minutes (4,833 words)

It is the peculiar nature of hurricanes that they are both uncommon and utterly predictable. Depending on an island’s geography, it may have a one-in-ten chance of being hit, or a one-in-a-thousand chance. Those are only odds, of course, but they are important because hurricanes are best understood as numbers and probabilities. Some areas are simply more vulnerable than others — Southeast Florida, Puerto Rico, the Florida Panhandle, and the Gulf states of Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas. While you may reassure yourself that you have only a one-in-a-hundred chance of being leveled by a devastating storm in a given year, it’s highly likely that there will be a hurricane in one of these geographies, and someone’s house will be destroyed.

Moreover, the chances appear to be increasing, though not necessarily for the reasons you might imagine. Even accounting for years with lots of hurricanes, including 2004, 2005, 2017, and 2018, the number of hurricanes has held relatively steady for centuries, dating back to the founding of the nation. What has changed is the amount of property at the coast, which amplifies the opportunities for damage and the likelihood that federal taxpayers will spend ever-larger sums to help coastal towns rebuild after hurricanes.

In July 2014, the National Academy of Sciences, a nonprofit arm of the federal government that helps fund and direct critical research in medicine, engineering, and the social sciences, reported the findings of a yearlong study of coastal risks. Damages from hurricanes and nor’easters have “increased substantially over the past century,” the researchers noted, “largely due to increases in population and development in hazardous coastal areas.” The chief beneficiaries of the land boom at the coast have been the beach towns and property owners who perversely shoulder little of the risk of building in harm’s way yet enjoy most of the wealth, the report added.

Critically, the report, Reducing Coastal Risk on the East and Gulf Coasts, observed that there is “no central leadership, unified vision,” or national strategy to reduce the costs associated with hurricanes. The preponderance of federal funding is paid out after storms, with scant attention to zoning or land-use issues, buyouts, or retreat from vulnerable floodplains. “Over the past century, most coastal management programs have emphasized coastal armoring, while doing little to decrease development in harm’s way,” the report concluded.

A 2018 study by Philip J. Klotzbach, an atmospheric scientist and hurricane expert, associated with Colorado State University, made many of these same points. “Growth in coastal population and regional wealth are the overwhelming drivers of observed increases in hurricane-related damage. As the population and wealth of the United States has increased in coastal locations, it has invariably led to growth in exposure and vulnerability of coastal property along the U.S. Gulf and East coasts,” Klotzbach and several colleagues wrote.

To paraphrase the words of the Clinton-era campaign strategist James Carville, It’s the property, stupid.

* * *

In the last two decades, hurricanes and coastal storms have caused over three-quarters of a trillion dollars in damage at the coast — far more than earthquakes, tornadoes, and wildfires combined. That represents a nearly sixfold increase from the prior two decades (1980–1990), as well as most of the hurricane damage in the last century ($725 billion of $1.2 trillion), after adjusting for inflation and population. Alarmingly, the pace of destruction is accelerating, with seventeen of the twenty most expensive hurricanes occurring since 2000. In 2017, Harvey, Maria, and Irma alone accounted for over $300 billion in damage, the single-most expensive hurricane season ever.

Absent a dramatic but unlikely shift in weather patterns, or Americans abandoning the coasts, this sharp spike in hurricane damage is likely to continue, experts say. This is even as the federal government is spending tens of billions on building seawalls, widening beaches, elevating houses, and undertaking an array of other costly efforts to protect coastal property.

The chief beneficiaries of the land boom at the coast have been the beach towns and property owners who perversely shoulder little of the risk of building in harm’s way yet enjoy most of the wealth, the report added.

“There is no way I know to mitigate your way out of the problem, unless you find a way to make carbon go away,” said MIT’s Kerry Emanuel.

That doesn’t seem likely in the fossil fuel–focused Trump administration, which favors coal, oil, and gas over renewable-energy sources such as wind and solar. Greenhouse gases, including long-lasting carbon dioxide, are at historic levels, which may grow even more dramatically by century’s end, current research suggests. More gas translates into higher temperatures, warmer oceans, and increased fuel for hurricanes. Combined with the explosive development at the coast, it is the perfect calculus for disasters.

Hurricanes are unquestionably doing more damage than ever: $163.8 billion for Katrina in 2005 (adjusted for inflation); $35.4 billion for Ike in 2008; $71.5 billion for Sandy in 2012; $126.3 billion for Harvey in 2017; $50.5 billion for Irma in 2017; and $90.9 billion for Maria, also in 2017. Damages are still being tabulated for 2018. But it is likely that Florence and Michael caused at least $50 billion in damage, including devastating losses in poor rural areas, and massive damage to utilities and other public infrastructure.

Again, this isn’t to suggest there haven’t been massive hurricanes in the past. History is replete with examples dating back hundreds of years. Recent evidence detected in archaeological remains and carbon samples depicts ferocious paleo-hurricanes from thousands of years ago. But the key difference between then and now is that the coasts are now littered with expensive beach houses, second homes, boardwalks, and hotels. And there were no government programs or huge taxpayer payouts in the past.

A good example of the past foreshadowing the future is the Great Miami Hurricane of 1926. At the time, Miami was a relatively small, new city, unlike today, with its population in the millions and cranes towering over one new development after another. That September, a Category 3 hurricane barreled through downtown, killing about one thousand citizens, toppling houses, and wrecking businesses, while causing about $100 million in damage. Still, as devastating as the Great Miami Hurricane was, it pales in comparison with the damage a similarly powerful storm would cause today — well over $200 billion, according to Philip Klotzbach and other researchers.

“It would be massive,” Klotzbach told me. “It all ties back to population and wealth. Miami is a very desirable place to live, but it’s also a very dangerous place and is overdue for a massive hurricane. That entire area is.”

Meteorologists thought 2017’s Hurricane Irma might make a direct hit on Miami, with winds exceeding 140 miles per hour. However, while crossing Cuba, the storm encountered wind shear, weakened, and then dodged to the west, into the Gulf of Mexico, where it later threatened Tampa, another highly vulnerable city.

The last two major hurricanes to strike southeast Florida — Andrew in 1992 and Wilma in 2005 — also spared Miami. Headline writers at The Miami Herald warned that Andrew was going to be “the Big One” that wrecked the city. But the hurricane wiped out the city of Homestead, about forty miles southeast of Miami, instead causing $25 billion in damage, or about $49 billion in today’s dollars. Yet for all its power, Andrew was a relatively small, compact hurricane that cut a narrow swath of destruction. Wilma, meanwhile, surged across the Florida Keys, causing $25 billion in damage; but it, too, missed the densely developed Miami-Dade metropolitan region. Neither of the storms truly was the Big One. That will be a Category 4 or 5 hurricane that directly strikes Miami, Tampa, or Jacksonville.

Florida, one clever writer recently observed, is a ‘vast harvest of risky building.’

It is only a matter of time. Florida is a long, narrow peninsula bordered by the Atlantic Ocean on one side and the Gulf of Mexico on the other. The geology of swamps, sinkholes, and porous limestone leaks water at every turn and is highly vulnerable to rising seas. The shallow offshore shelf in the Gulf serves as a launching pad for storms racing up to the Panhandle, such as Ivan (2004) and Michael (2018). Coupled with the massive inflow of people and an unrelenting land boom, Florida is uniquely vulnerable. More than $1 trillion worth of property straddles the coast, including more than a million properties in what FEMA euphemistically calls a “special flood hazard area.” Florida, one clever writer recently observed, is a “vast harvest of risky building.”

It is also a meteorologist’s nightmare, a veritable shooting gallery for hurricanes. The Sunshine State has experienced five of the most powerful hurricanes in history: unnamed Category 4 hurricanes in 1947, 1948, and 1949; 1960’s Hurricane Donna, a Category 4; and 1992’s Hurricane Andrew, a Category 5. Now add Hurricane Michael, a Category 5 storm, which was one of the most powerful hurricanes in the Gulf’s history. The state is low and vulnerable, effectively sinking in places. It is crisscrossed with lagoons, lakes, and estuaries. During king tides and full moons, some residents of Miami are trapped in their houses by rising water. Over time, state regulators have adopted stronger building codes. But those only help so much, and hurricane damage keeps rising. Nor can regulators elevate an entire state or build a wall high or long enough to barricade a coastline more than a thousand miles long. Even if they did, water would likely seep beneath the walls. Widening beaches helps in the short run, but at an increasing cost. Some areas of Florida are running out of sand, and at least one city has explored importing sand from the Bahamas. In 2017, the research arm of the real estate company Zillow estimated that rising seas could swallow upward of a million Florida homes. The houses — and not just the mortgages — would literally be underwater.

Of course, the risks extend well beyond Florida. Some of the fastest-growing areas in the nation are located along the hurricane-prone Gulf and Atlantic Coasts, where the combined population has vaulted from about 16 million in 1940 to nearly 70 million today, with fresh new suburban communities dotting the shorelines and marshes.

“There was a period of time when it was relatively quiet for hurricanes (1960–1990), and a lot of this building happened,” Klotzbach said in an interview with me. “They haven’t lived through a bad hurricane, and have no idea what it’s like.”

* * *

In 2015, FEMA published a list of all the natural disasters in the last two decades that had cost federal taxpayers $500 million or more in emergency aid and recovery efforts. Fourteen of the fifteen disasters were hurricanes (93 percent), underlining the vulnerability of property at the coast and the nation’s escalating hurricane problem. The lone exception was the Midwest floods in 2008.

Another revealing data point was that major hurricanes — those listed as Category 3 to Category 5 — accounted for three-fourths of the $90 billion that the federal agency spent on aid in that period. Bigger, punishing storms like Sandy and Katrina are gouging the heavily developed coastline and consuming larger shares of the agency’s budget.

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The FEMA report didn’t include all the federal costs from hurricanes, only emergency aid. Nor did it cover the 2017–2018 hurricanes, which, combined, will cost the agency additional billions. Including Harvey, Irma, and Maria, hurricanes account for 100 percent of the agency’s most expensive disasters since 2000.

It needs to be acknowledged that government spending is full of kinks, making it hard to know the exact price tag for some disasters. Historical data aren’t always available or reported consistently, with disaster recovery programs scattered across numerous federal agencies. Nevertheless, based on figures that FEMA and other agencies have published, it is safe to say that federal taxpayers have spent at least $500 billion since 1950 responding to hurricanes and coastal storms, including over $350 billion in the last decade alone, a phenomenon that some researchers have likened to a “stealth entitlement” that primarily benefits the wealthy.

In his revealing 1999 study of federal disaster spending, the University of Massachusetts geographer Rutherford H. Platt coined a nice phrase, “the federalization of disasters,” to capture the growing inclination of politicians and bureaucrats to declare every disaster a federal disaster, followed by a gusher of government funds to help pay for the recovery.

“The law since 1950 was always that federal assistance should be secondary to local assistance. It should be a residual level of protection, not the major level of protection,” Platt told me in an interview in 1998. “But clearly the politics have changed.”

But it wasn’t only the politics that shifted; it was the public’s attitudes as well. There was a growing expectation among coastal property owners, mayors, and governors that federal dollars would flow their way after hurricanes to help underwrite their recovery. In the 1970s, FEMA administrators pointed out the distorting effects of this shift in attitudes, noting that “first-dollar coverage” by the government (versus private insurance or homeowners paying for their own repairs) subsidized risky building in floodplains and encouraged owners of coastal property to forego private insurance. In effect, the government was creating a moral hazard by rewarding reckless behavior and then serving as the primary insurer when catastrophe struck.

David A. Moss, a professor at the Harvard Business School, has linked the increased federal role in disaster spending to passage of the Disaster Relief Act of 1950, which created a permanent disaster-relief fund and gave the president broad discretionary power to decide when a disaster is eligible for federal dollars. Afterward, Congress and various administrations dramatically expanded disaster aid “in most cases with little debate or controversy,” Moss wrote in his 1999 study, “Courting Disaster.” As a consequence, “Americans increasingly expected protection against an ever-widening array of hazards.”

In effect, the government was creating a moral hazard by rewarding reckless behavior and then serving as the primary insurer when catastrophe struck.

Indeed, federal payouts for hurricane damage have increased virtually in lockstep with coastal development. In the 1950s, when the modern coast was just beginning to develop, the federal government covered about 5 percent of the cost of rebuilding after hurricanes. By 2012, the federal share had ballooned to 70 percent on average, and even higher for some storms. That year, after Hurricane Sandy inundated the New Jersey shore, Congress agreed to pay for 100 percent of some damage, including repairing the beaches in front of millionaires’ beach houses. Viewed by decades, the federal share climbed from 3.3 percent in 1927 to 12.8 percent in 1964, to 48 percent in 1972, to 52.5 percent in 1993, according to Moss. And now, 70 percent in the 2000s. “We shouldn’t be doing first-dollar coverage,” Craig Fugate, the head of FEMA during the Obama administration, told me in an interview. “We need to have incentives for states to take more ownership.”

But the politics of federal disaster aid are fraught, making it difficult, if not impossible, for federal officials to question spending decisions or to link funding to zoning and land-use decisions. There is a powerful incentive among coastal politicians to get as much money as possible for their constituents. And, for the most part, the generous approach of Congress is bipartisan, with lawmakers on both sides of the aisle watching out for one another.

There are some exceptions, especially in today’s toxic political environment. In the wake of Hurricane Sandy, in 2012, conservative Republicans from Texas, South Carolina, and several other red states voted against emergency disaster funding for New Jersey and New York, both blue states. Both Texas senators, John Cornyn and Ted Cruz, voted against the initial aid package. Cornyn’s spokesman tweeted that the senator believed the multimillion package included “extraneous money for items unrelated to disaster relief.” Cruz declared that “two-thirds of that bill had nothing to do with Sandy.” Congress eventually passed a $50.5 million Sandy disaster bill. But in 2017, both Cornyn and Cruz lobbied for tax deductions and massive federal aid for Texas after Hurricane Harvey flooded thousands of homes in their districts.

“A colleague of mine once said there are no conservatives in disasters,” Fugate told me. “You know who the only politician is who never asked me for help? It was Rand Paul’s father, Ron” — the former Texas congressman and libertarian candidate for president. “One thing a politician doesn’t want to do is tell their constituents no. No one wins votes by voting against disaster packages.”

Near the end of his tenure, in 2016, Fugate proposed adding a deductible to the disaster-aid process. Essentially, it would have worked the same way an insurance deductible works. Before a beach town or coastal state could tap into federal disaster dollars, it would have to spend a fixed amount of its own funds, thus ensuring it had “some skin in the game,” Fugate said.

The proposal was backed by fiscal conservatives and environmentalists alike, “which kind of led me to think it might be a good idea,” Fugate explained. “But it took me too long to get through the gates of the Obama administration. And then Trump came in and he didn’t spike it, but it hasn’t been something they’ve gotten to.”

* * *

Congress occasionally tinkers with the rules for disaster aid in an effort to constrain spending. Yet lawmakers have added a startling assortment of programs to rebuild houses; repair roads, bridges, and water treatment plants; clear roads and haul away storm debris; pump sand onto eroding beaches; fix damaged jetties, groins, and seawalls; provide low-interest home and business loans; and distribute checks of up to $33,000 to families to cover short-term rentals, food, clothing, and living expenses; not to mention an array of tax breaks for property losses, depreciation, and mortgage interest for second homes — all of which help inflate the value of coastal real estate and encourage rebuilding in the wake of damaging storms.

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New Jersey officials used about $2 billion of the federal aid they got after Sandy to fund a massive rebuilding effort at the shore. The goal was to get the state back in business as quickly as possible. Virtually overnight, the Christie administration transformed the state’s Department of Consumer Affairs into a housing agency, awarding grants of up to $150,000 to owners of flood-damaged homes. The program was hampered by staff turnover, delays, and fraud. Eligibility rules seemed to shift every few weeks, leading some homeowners to complain that they needed an MBA to wade through the mountains of paperwork. Local construction and zoning offices were also overwhelmed and often provided contradictory advice.

For months, no one seemed to know how many feet that homeowners should elevate their houses to get above the flood risk. The federal flood maps were outdated, and different agencies gave different advice. “I’d walk into one office and they’d tell me one thing, and I’d walk into the office next door and they would tell me something completely different,” said Chuck Griffin, a seventy-year-old retiree. His modest Mystic Island bungalow in Ocean County was flooded with six feet of water. Griffin gutted it and started repairs himself but ran out of money and hope. He waited years for help, camping out in his cold, dark, empty bungalow for several weeks. Finally, with the help of a nonprofit, he qualified for state help. And in fall 2017, he moved into a new modular house on the same lot, elevated ten feet above sea level. It was a slog, but at least he was finally home, he said.

Governor Christie talked about building back smarter and stronger. But it was never clear what that meant, because other than generalities, the administration never explained what it wanted the state’s coast to look like in an age of rising water and more ferocious storms. Most decisions involving land use and zoning were still left to the beach towns.

Remarkably, no one in the federal government questioned the governor’s approach, let alone asked why the state was effectively bribing its citizens to build back in harm’s way.

“I think Governor Christie saw planning as a delay to building back,” said John A. Miller, an engineer and floodplain manager who testified and wrote about the state’s recovery plan. “There was never any plan or a vision. It was a very, very short-term vision, and pretty much just called for putting things back so the beach resorts could be up and running again. We’re not going to recognize sea level. God forbid we do any long-term planning. The farther out the recovery got, the less interested the governor seemed.”

By 2015–2016, the state’s newspapers were reporting that Christie was out of the state campaigning more than he was in it. By then, the governor was running for president, and among many claims, he touted how he had saved the state from Hurricane Sandy. “When the worst natural disaster in your state’s history hits you, they expect you to rebuild the state, which is what I’ve done,” he told fans along the campaign trail.

One thing Christie was good at was tapping federal disaster dollars to fund a resettlement program in which homeowners received $10,000 cash grants to return to their damaged homes. The only requirement was that they had to promise to remain there for three years. There were no income guidelines; rich and poor alike were eligible. At least some of those who collected checks lived out of state. Remarkably, no one in the federal government questioned the governor’s approach, let alone asked why the state was effectively bribing its citizens to build back in harm’s way.

* * *

There is a kind of permissive elegance to disaster relief that filters through government agencies, programs, and rules. Requests for federal aid begin at the state level and then are forwarded to FEMA, which makes a recommendation to the president. In theory, a disaster is supposed to exceed a state’s financial ability to respond. But the threshold used to define financial ability is, to put it mildly, generous. For decades, FEMA used a figure of $1 per capita for each of a state’s citizens. So, if New Jersey had seven million residents, the state had to document just $7 million worth of damage to trigger a federal disaster declaration and access recovery dollars. Surprisingly, the $1 trigger wasn’t adjusted for inflation for years. As a result, even modest coastal storms qualified for federal aid. FEMA was effectively marking on a curve, so everyone got an A or a B. Meanwhile, final decisions in the Oval Office were “often influenced by congressional and media attention,” Rutherford Platt said, further undermining the process.

With such a low bar, the number of federal disaster declarations climbed steadily, with 1,300 federal disasters declared in the last three decades alone. The loosening of eligibility standards prompted the normally cautious Congressional Research Service to declare the aid packages an entitlement. “As long as victims (public or individuals) meet eligibility requirements, they are entitled to disaster relief assistance. While this ensures that relief is provided to all victims (regardless of economic need) it may be a potentially expensive arrangement,” the researchers noted in a 1998 study.

There are “way too many federal declarations, and way too many of them are not really beyond the capability of state and local government to handle,” said Larry Larson, the former director of the national Association of State Floodplain Managers, and one of the nation’s more thoughtful observers of government-disaster policies.

With such a low bar, the number of federal disaster declarations climbed steadily, with 1,300 federal disasters declared in the last three decades alone.

To make sure that copious funds are available for their states, members of Congress have resorted to a form of budgetary chicanery, using emergency supplemental appropriations to fund disasters instead of setting an annual bud get for disaster spending. As a result, the unchecked spending directly adds to the nation’s cascading deficit, now about $1 trillion annually, according to the Congressional Budget Office.

By my count, Congress has approved seventeen separate supplemental appropriations from 2003 to 2018, totaling $210 billion. That includes $120 billion for the 2017 hurricanes in Texas, Puerto Rico, and Florida. The growing reliance on off-budget maneuvers raises a variety of issues, the Congressional Research Service observed in a 2010 study. For one, lawmakers are able to move funding streams through Congress on an expedited basis with minimal debate. For another, they can exceed discretionary spending limits designed to reduce the federal deficit. The supplemental allocations are also hard to track, allowing states to use funds for projects that appear far removed from the disaster. Following Hurricane Sandy, New Jersey officials were criticized for using disaster dollars to build low-income housing and fund repairs at an apartment complex over fifty miles from the coast.

* * *

By law, if not always in practice, beach towns and coastal communities are supposed to contribute toward their own recoveries. The amounts vary by program but can be substantial. For example, in 1988, Congress stipulated that local governments should pay a quarter of the cost of repairing government buildings, parks, roads, bridges, and other public infrastructure damaged in storms, with FEMA covering the other 75 percent.

But coastal lawmakers often step in after disasters to help lower or eliminate the required local payments. A 2010 study by the Congressional Research Service found 222 instances since 1986 in which Congress, FEMA, or the president either reduced the local share or expanded the time period in which coastal communities were eligible to collect federal disaster aid, resulting in higher federal spending. Federal waivers eliminating any local contribution at all have also become more common, the researchers reported, especially after large storms such as Katrina and Sandy.

The most popular target for waivers is FEMA’s Public Assistance program, by far the largest and most expensive in the government’s cupboard of disaster-relief programs. Since 2000, FEMA has awarded more than $45 billion in grants to beach towns and coastal states to scoop sand off high- ways, repair damaged water lines, rebuild town halls, and pay overtime for police, among an array of eligible expenses, federal records show. Local shore towns were supposed to pay a quarter of the costs. But in dozens of cases involving Texas, Louisiana, and New Jersey, FEMA agreed to cover 100 percent of the repairs.

In another wrinkle, FEMA allows states to use federal dollars to cover their required “local” contributions, thus defeating the purpose of the cost-share. New Jersey used $54.5 million from FEMA to cover its required share while rebuilding a damaged highway in Ocean County. It used another $25 million to cover its share for three other projects, records show.

Altogether, New Jersey received $1.2 billion to cart away debris following Hurricane Sandy. It got $1.6 billion for police and emergency workers, $1.8 billion to repair public buildings, and $2.5 billion to fix broken utilities. In 2012, Governor Christie asked FEMA to cover 100 percent of the cost.

I reviewed more than four thousand Sandy Public Assistance grants and found more than a few surprises. For example, FEMA spent $75 million to repair boardwalks for beach resorts in Belmar, Atlantic City, and elsewhere; $32 million to fix a seawall damaged by the storm; and over $100 million for broken lifeguard stands, gazebos, lampposts, garbage cans, restrooms, and marinas. It paid tens of millions to buy new cars and replace vehicles damaged by saltwater, and to patch sand dunes and replace wooden crossovers and dune fences. It also replaced docks and bulkheads, traffic signals, benches, and cameras. FEMA allocated $204,000 to repair a hockey rink in Monmouth County and $194,000 for a baseball field in Bergen County, a hundred miles from the coast; it awarded $168,000 for an ice house in Monmouth County. It also paid to fix tennis courts, streetlights, rowing clubs, and restaurants. It even paid for spoiled food.

Applying for Public Assistance money has become an industry unto itself, requiring full-time attention and specialized help. “The paperwork is unbelievable,” groused the Long Beach Township mayor Joe Mancini. “You have to make sure you hit every box. If you don’t, they’ll say you don’t qualify.”

For that reason, Mancini and many other coastal mayors hire consultants to wade through the paperwork and maximize FEMA payments. Some prominent consultants are former FEMA managers and administrators. And if for some reason FEMA still says no, the towns can always turn to their congressional representatives to lobby agency officials.

It must work. Long Beach Township has received over $13 million in Sandy Public Assistance grants to date, with millions more expected. It received $2.5 million for police and emergency workers, $80,000 for a modular trailer, $110,290 to replace damaged dune fencing, $5,000 for benches, $390,000 to repair streets, $165,000 for a comfort station, $67,000 for street signs, and $3 million to remove debris. It still has open claims for trash containers, fire hydrants, a tennis court, a gazebo, and restrooms. In most cases, federal taxpayers are paying 100 percent of the cost, township records show.

“The program exists. We’d be fools not to take advantage of it,” the mayor told me.

Brock Long, Fugate’s replacement as FEMA director in the Trump administration, suggested in 2017 that a disaster deductible or some other approach was needed to reduce federal disaster spending. “I don’t think the taxpayer should reward risk going forward,” he told Insurance Journal. “We have to find ways to comprehensively become more resilient.”

But as of this writing, the deductible remains an idea, not a reality, and federal spending keeps rising. Long, who became mired in an ethical quandary involving his use of government automobiles for personal use, announced in February 2019 that he was leaving his federal post. Meanwhile, the Congressional Budget Office warned in a 2016 working paper, “Damage from hurricanes is expected to increase significantly in the coming decades because of the effects of climate change and coastal development. In turn, potential requests for federal relief and recovery efforts will increase as well.”

***

Gilbert M. Gaul twice won the Pulitzer Prize and has been short-listed for the Pulitzer four other times. For more than thirty-five years, he worked as an investigative journalist for The Washington Post, Philadelphia Inquirer, and other newspapers. He is the author of three previous books and lives in New Jersey.

Excerpted from The Geography of Risk: Epic Storms, Rising Seas, and the Cost of America’s Coasts by Gilbert M. Gaul. Published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Copyright © 2019 by Gilbert M. Gaul. All rights reserved.

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lodelss · 5 years

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The Geography of Risk

Gilbert M. Gaul | The Geography of Risk | Farrar, Straus and Giroux | September 2019 | 24 minutes (4,833 words)

To paraphrase the words of the Clinton-era campaign strategist James Carville, It’s the property, stupid.

* * *

“There is no way I know to mitigate your way out of the problem, unless you find a way to make carbon go away,” said MIT’s Kerry Emanuel.

Florida, one clever writer recently observed, is a ‘vast harvest of risky building.’

* * *

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In effect, the government was creating a moral hazard by rewarding reckless behavior and then serving as the primary insurer when catastrophe struck.

* * *

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Remarkably, no one in the federal government questioned the governor’s approach, let alone asked why the state was effectively bribing its citizens to build back in harm’s way.

* * *

With such a low bar, the number of federal disaster declarations climbed steadily, with 1,300 federal disasters declared in the last three decades alone.

* * *

“The program exists. We’d be fools not to take advantage of it,” the mayor told me.

***

Longreads Editor: Aaron Gilbreath

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