#iiii was bad at speaking in front of people and the speech went Bad and its Sucks

[lonely-lost-soul]

Under the Floorboards Pt. V

(Technoblade X Reader): Pt. I, Pt. II, Pt. III, Pt. IIII, Pt. V, Pt. VI

    Alright so maybe you spoke too soon; the four of you were going to do great things, minus Tommy. Technoblade had finally agreed to let you join Tommy and him on an adventure into L’manberg. The plan was to crash their festival, and ultimately attempt to get Tommy’s discs back from Dream and Tubbo. You expected your first adventure into the country to be fun, if anything you’d get to steal some shit, what you didn’t expect was to be thrown in the middle of a public dispute. 

Clearly, you underestimated what ‘getting the discs back’ actually entailed. 

You and Technoblade were back to back swords drawn, surrounded by about thirty people in the ruin of what was once deemed a community house. Technoblade never would’ve agreed to let you come if he thought the confrontation with Dream was going to be this serious, he assumed they’d watch from afar. If things got to dicey Tommy and him would rush in and he’d have you stay behind to watch from afar. If only he could’ve predicted someone blowing up a random building would cause such turmoil. 

Nothing could ever come up Technoblade.

   “Yah know when you first invited me out to partake in a festival for some reason I didn’t expect to be attacked by like thirty people.” You chirped a hesitant smile on your face as Technoblade made a confused sound. 

   “You definitely should’ve expected it,” Technoblade grumbled, barely taking his eyes off of Tommy and Tubbo’s argument. You watched Techno’s back but you couldn’t help but eavesdrop on the boys conversation as well. As much as your heart broke for the two war-torn children, you had your alliance first and foremost with your boyfriend. You also couldn’t help but feel this conversation should be happening privately but here they were airing things out seemingly for the first time in front of everybody. Speaking of your boyfriend, your attention was drawn back to him as he caught Tommy’s attention, “be very careful what your decision is here Tommy.” 

You narrowed your eyes and took a step in front of Technoblade, he made his classic ‘heh’ sound as you did so. You felt his hand grip your forearm and tighten trying to hold you back in case you wanted to do something stupid. 

   “Tommy, come home with us.” You held out your hand to him, the one Technoblade didn’t have a hold of obviously. “Phil’s waiting for us, we’ll get your discs back together as we planned.” The smile on your face could part the cloudiest of days and it broke Tommy’s heart, she had given him something that he hadn’t had since the war with Dream began.

A home. 

   “(Y/N),” That’s the first time he used your name, the first time you weren’t just Ms Blade. It broke your heart and you whimpered a little bit, “thank you for everything you’ve done for me. But I can’t go back with you and Technoblade. I don’t like what I’ve become, this isn’t me. I’m sorry. I hope one day we can be friends again. Tubbo give Dream my disc.” You leaned back into Technoblade in disbelief, Tommy had just betrayed Technoblade right before your very eyes. The man who gave Tommy the clothes on his back and a place to stay when no one else would. Weapons to help him fight against Dream when everyone else abandoned him, even though they all treated Technoblade as a weapon he still went out of his way to help Tommy. Your hands clenched into fists at your side as Dream let out a roaring laugh collecting the disc from Tubbo. He called the two children stupid right to their face and no matter how angry you were with them that was harsh, it’s like everyone in this country forgets that they are children. Children fuck up, it’s how they learn and it’s in their nature why does no one here understand that. You looked up at Techno your eyebrows furrowed and you pressed your lips tight but he didn’t take his eyes off Dream, he had different priorities in mind. 

Protecting you from the Dreamon if anything went south. 

Dream continued to mock and criticize the people of L’manberg before turning to you and Technoblade. The mask he wore may hide his facial expressions, but it couldn’t mask the unadulterated glee in his voice. Technoblade pulled you behind him as Dream stepped closer to the both of you, you felt a growl rumble in Technoblade’s chest, 

   “That’s close enough.” 

   “Down boy.” Dream mused, holding up his hands to show faux innocence. “I have no issues with the both of you. Tomorrow, with your help, Technoblade and woman.”  

   “(Y/N).”

   “Don’t tell him your name.” Technoblade gaped at you and you only could huff in frustration, 

   “Better than just being called woman! Plus Tommy already said it.”  

With an eye-roll Dream continued his speech, “With the help of Technoblade and (Y/N) L’manberg is going to be a crater. We’re blowing it sky-high.” Dream turned over to face Tubbo once again, “I had to pretend to be friends with you, to get the dumb disk back! I don't care about you. I'm not your friend. Okay? I cared about getting the disk back, and I got the disk back. I got it back. And that's-that's- that's the only thing that really matters. You can't even run your nation right. RANBOO IS A TRAITOR. ONE OF YOUR MOST TRUSTED FRIENDS.”

Your eyes widened as you spotted another child looking horrified, it was the half enderman from the butcher gang. You’re adopting him next.

   “NO, IT IS TRUE. READ THIS BOOK. READ THIS BOOK. There's his memory book. He was meeting with Techno and Tommy and told them EVERYTHING. The proof’s all his own memories! He writes it down! You can't even run your own nation correctly Tubbo. Listen. Tubbo, you, I mean you, ... L'Manberg is weaker than it's ever been, and it's because of you! You have- you have destroyed everything. You have ruined your friendships. You have ruined L'Manberg's allies. You have just-you are a horrible president Tubbo.” Dream continued as Tubbo looked sick to his stomach, you felt just as nauseous.

   “YEAH, YOU SUCK TUBBO!”

   “TECHNOBLADE!” 

   “What?” He flinched at your tone, “he’s right!” 

   “They’re children,” You tried to argue but Dream cut you off by stepping in between you and Technoblade. Your pulse skyrocketed as you were separated, and you made sure an ender pearl was at the ready. Tommy looked at the both fo you nervously, but there was a spark of hope in his eyes when you defended Tubbo. Tommy turned over to Tubbo who honestly looked just as shocked that a partner of Technoblade’s would defend him, espeically considering he had tried to kill her a few days prior. Tommy had hope that he wasn’t completely dead to you.

   “Techno. Got any withers?” You watched a sickening smile spread across Techno’s lips he picked at his nails. 

   “I got a few.” 

   “Good. Then I’ll see you all tomorrow when the L’manberg loses its last cannon life,” Dream announced before disappearing into the wind. The citizens turned to face you and Technoblade, he only had to utter a single word:

   “Run,” Before both of you pearled away from the wreckage of the community house. 

Technoblade scooped you up in his arms as he made his way through the Nether portal back to his base. He was much faster than you were and you didn’t fight him on wanting to make a quick getaway. You both were silent on the way back to his base, bottom line was you didn’t know how you felt about what just went down. On one hand, destruction was your middle name and you weren’t going to oppose blowing a government to smithereens with your boyfriend.  

Nothing could be more romantic than that. 

Yet at the same time, unlike Technoblade, you felt the guilt eat away at you. These were people’s homes, and lives you’d be destroying tomorrow. Most of the citizens you had no affiliation with, which you were grateful for, but those you did you almost couldn’t justify blowing the country up. Tommy was by all accounts dead to Technoblade and by that extent you as well. Still, you didn’t want to see him physically dead, it wasn’t his fault he got corrupted by the government and a homeless teletubby.

You were starting to sound like Technoblade now too.  

You made a sound of distress and Techno glanced down at your form, his face flushed as you nuzzled your nose against his neck. 

   “You okay princess?” 

   “No…” You answered with a sigh, you reached out and twirled a strand of his pink hair through your fingers. “Tommy’s gone, we’re going to blow up a country tomorrow. I feel bad for the people we’re gonna leave homeless. So, no I’m not okay bubs.” The socially awkward man winced a little as he battled with what to say to you, he tends to forget you both aren’t the same person. For as much as both of you agree, you were still different from him, you had more empathy than he could ever wish to have. 

   “You don’t have to come.”  

He watched a frown appear on your face as you pulled away from him. You clicked your tongue in distaste, a sure sign that you were about to pick a fight with the blood god. You were one opponent he could never seem to defeat. That did not come out the way he intended. 

Time to backtrack before he got his ass handed to him. 

   “What I mean is, you have no affiliation with L’manberg. You have no prior issues you need to settle with them so technically you can stay home tomorrow, no one would blame you. You’d be safer away from the explosions, I’d feel better with you at home.”

   “That way you’d only have to worry about Phil tomorrow right?” 

   “Well, that’s part of it,” He stated bluntly, never one to be dishonest. “He has only one life and he’s going to want to fight, he has a lot to avenge. The government drove his eldest son mad, enough that Phil had to kill him. He’s one of my oldest friends, I wanna look out for him and protect him.” You couldn’t help but sigh softly at his response, you brushed your thumb across his cheek fondly. 

   “You’re wrong.” 

   “Eh?”

   “I do have something I want to fight for, I want to fight for what I believe is right. Let’s face it Techno the way everyone’s treating those children is sick. Dream manipulated Tommy and used Tubbo to get what he wanted from him. I know you did what you thought was right for Tommy but he’s a product of a war-torn country, they all are. Now, that doesn’t excuse his betrayal but… did he even know what the right thing to do was in this situation, does he even truly know what peace is? I want to fight to protect those kids. They deserve to know peace, true peace away from bloodshed and war. If I can I want to give them that.” You watched Technoblade’s jaw tighten, “I’m going with you tomorrow but I’m not going to kill the children.” 

   “I don’t think I can ever forgive Tommy.” He sighed adjusting his grip on you a sure sign he was nervous, “but I love you.” Techno kissed you once again, it was long and tender you watched as the apples of his cheeks turn red after you both pulled away. He took a breath, “You’re unstoppable and you’ve never stopped me before so I won’t do the same for you. Just stay safe. Please. You need to come home with me tomorrow I won’t settle for anything else.” 

   “I will. I promise.” You pressed a light kiss to his cheek, and he hummed gently in response. “I love you Technoblade, I’ll fight beside you. Till the end of the line.”

   “Till the end of the line,” He repeated as you both approached the snow-covered house to convene with Philza Minecraft himself.

~~~

Hi guys! Officially feeling a bit better, enough to get a small part out before I work on the next chapter. I hope you like it, thanks so much for reading and your amazing feedback. Also, thanks so much for your kind words and well wishes! Also, also, If anyone ever makes fanart of this story (I doubt it would happen) please tag me and let me know. I love to make art myself and always wanna support other artists! Thanks Again!

#technoblade x reader #technoblade x you #technoblade #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #fanfiction #fanfic #minecraft fanfiction #x reader #dreamsmp x reader #minecraft x reader #x you #Blood for the Blood God #rp #dream smp

[averagelizajane-blog]

My Speech

I haven’t blogged in over a year ... this post really doesn’t count because it is a copy of a speech I gave this week at the a statewide nurse appreciation event the March of Dimes put on.  Nurses were awarded in 20 different categories.  There was also a silent and live auction to raise funds for the MOD. 

March of Dimes 

Nurse of the Year Event 

11/22/19

Richmond Hilton, Short Pump

When Latne asked me to speak today, I couldn’t say no because any chance I get to express gratitude to nurses I am going to jump on it!  I cannot think of very many honors higher than publicly thanking those who serve others -- especially babies.  So if you, all the nurses here today, get nothing else out of my little speech, please hear me when I say “THANK YOU!”  Thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart!  You make a difference every.single.day!  Latne also asked me to keep my remarks under 5 minutes -- I’ll do my very best, but no promises … it’s going to be quite challenging to share our story in just 5 minutes.  

Let me begin with a day I will never forget.  It was an ordinary Saturday night in early 2018.  Anne-Marie’s health was pretty stable by then.  She had long been off oxygen, and she was tolerating her gtube feeds fairly well.  Anyways, I got her out of the bath and dressed her for bed.  I looked her in the eyes just like every other night and said, “Anne-Marie, I love you.”  And then that very ordinary night became one very extraordinary night in a matter of seconds.  Anne-Marie looked back at me with the most loving eyes and responded very robotically and very, very softly, “IIII Wuuub wun.”  You see, Anne-Marie was nonverbal up until last year.  I sat in the floor and cried tears of joy and relished in the fact that I had finally heard the three little words, I sometimes doubted I’d ever hear.  I vividly remember after a few minutes of crying, saying a prayer out loud (I usually pray silently and I hate to admit it, only when I need something) but in that moment I thanked God out loud for every single one of Anne-Marie’s nurses by name, doctors by name, therapists by name, her teachers by name, my parents, my best friend, Maggie, and everyone else who has cared for Anne-Marie along the way. 

Anne-Marie was born at 25 weeks gestation because I had severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. The details surrounding her traumatic birth are a little cloudy.  However, I have a couple of very clear memories from that very scary time.

I was admitted to the hospital on January 10th. I was supposed to be on bed-rest because of my high blood pressure, but we had planned a 5th birthday party at the local bowling alley for my oldest daughter, Leah.  So while we were at Leah’s birthday celebration, my OB doctor called and said my blood work didn’t look good and I needed to go to the hospital.  Upon arrival and evaluation, the doctors said they would try and wait as long as possible to deliver, because they wanted to give me steroids for the baby’s lungs, but things didn’t look good and I may need to have a c-section “soon.”     

This news was not okay with me for several reasons.  The first and most important reason was that my baby, in my mind, was not developed enough to sustain life outside the womb.  At that time, I knew next to nothing about prematurity.  I just had this gut-wrenching feeling that my baby was going to die.

The second reason I was not okay with learning the news that a “soon” delivery was inevitable, was that I did NOT want my baby to be born on Leah’s birthday.  Again, I had a bad feeling I was going to lose my baby and I didn’t want to have an anniversary of a birth and a death on the same day.      

So, we were in the hospital, doing our best to process this very worrisome, new information and an in-depth ultrasound was done to predict the size of our baby.  Afterwards, two residents came in to speak with me about the possibility of the smallest breathing tube the NICU has being too large for our baby.  This information just lead to more questions with unknown answers.  They left and then it was a nurse who came back in, and with the most compassionate demeanor, she asked what we were going to name our baby.  I looked at my husband, Bradley, cluelessly … all I could think about is why are we going to name a baby, who probably won’t survive.  What’s the point?  It will just make this all harder?  We explained to the sweet nurse that we didn’t have any names picked out and we didn’t even know the sex, we had wanted to be surprised.  The nurse said that they liked to call babies by name when working to resuscitate them and caring for them -- she said they have a tendency to respond better.  With that small act of kindness, an overwhelming sense of comfort came over me.  I surrendered all and we named our baby.  

After that humble conversation with that nurse my feelings surrounding the date of my c-section began to change.  I figured if Anne-Marie needed to be born on Leah’s birthday, maybe that could actually be a gift and not a curse.  

And that’s exactly what happened. Anne-Marie was born en caul on January 12th.  She weighed 420 grams (that’s 14.8 ounces for all of us non-medical people) and was 10 inches long.  She was tinier than tiny -- about the size of a big Smartphone with a hard case.        

Anne-Marie did fairly-well during the very beginning of her 200-day hospital-stay.  I was discharged and tried my absolute best to keep some sense of normalcy for Leah, all while traveling back and forth to the hospital each day and pumping breast milk every three hours.  

It wasn’t until right around the 2 week mark when we had our first big scare.  I got a call from a doctor who said Anne-Marie’s oxygen stats were really low and they needed to change out her breathing tube to the next biggest size.  When we arrived, the normally dark and calm NICU room looked completely different.  The lights were bright and there was close to 10-15 people crowded around Anne-Marie’s isolette.  A social worker sat with me and explained what was happening.  One nurse had a cart with a separate computer and was logging everything the medical team was doing.  A respiratory therapist was bagging Anne-Marie.  Two doctors were conversing quietly about my daughter but not including me.  The air was tense.  Everyone was very serious.  A hospital chaplin came and introduced himself.  He asked me if I wanted to have Anne-Marie baptised. 

Prior to her birth, I was the one who thought she was going to die.  Now here we are, a couple of weeks later, and the experts think she’s going to die.  I politely responded, “No” to the chaplin.  I know it’s irrational now, but at that time, I figured if I allowed her to be baptised, I was giving up.  I thought if I willed her to live, she would.  I was scared.  I asked if I should call my husband in from work.  The doctor in the purple tie responded matter-of-factly, “Yes,” he said, “your baby is very sick and could die any minute.”  I called Bradley then stared at the beeping monitor displaying sats in the teens and 20s for half an hour.  I was in a daze, when one of Anne-Marie’s primary nurses asked me if I needed a break.  She may have never known it, but she had two patients that day, Anne-Marie and myself.  Her calm, professional vibe and consideration allowed me to deal with the situation.

These are just two of countless times during Anne-Marie’s journey where I credit my own success to her nurses.  All along, I’ve always credited Anne-Marie’s success to her skilled nurses.  And I always will.  Through 5 surgeries, several PICC lines, countless blood transfusions, back and forth transitions between the jet ventilator, conventional ventilator, and CPAP, progression from TPN to all mixes of formula, and graduating from an isolette to a warmer bed to an open crib, Anne-Marie’s nurses have been there on the front lines every step of the way. Not only did they medically care for her, but they went way beyond that … Anne-Marie’s nurses were really her first parents before we had her in our true custody.  They advocated to doctors on our behalf during rounds, they sang to her to soothe her, they dressed her up when she was able to wear clothes, they took pictures to decorate her bedside and did everything as much as they could to support the emotional needs of all of us.    

Today, Anne-Marie is in school and is very successful.  She’s spunky and silly and full of life. Anne-Marie loves reading, singing, pretend-play, her Nana, and following Leah around every step she takes.  My family is forever in debt to the NICU nurses and doctors, the March of Dimes, and the greater field of neonatology.  I reflect upon her journey from time to time and know without a shadow of doubt that each person who cared for Anne-Marie was put in that position at that particular time for a reason.  Her outcome would have been different if certain pieces to the puzzle were lost.  We will never be able to express enough gratitude for saving Anne-Marie’s life. On behalf of babies everywhere, I sincerely thank you for your dedication and service.      

#speech micropreemie lifeafterNICU marchofdimes MOD nurseoftheyear virginianurseoftheyear virginiamarchofdimes gtubekid teachermom