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#ignore me i’m just procrastinating going to sleep bc if i do i’ll have to lay to avoid sleeping on my new piercings
seveneyesoup · 3 years
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what’s w all those tiktok mirrors huh. they’ll be like i’m OBSESSED with this mirror and it’s just a square plain rectangle mirror w bouba in a clay snake around and over the edge like. okay. it doesn’t cover up the weird mirror edges And it intrudes into the space you’re supposed to use to look at yourself. and the colors are like that weird pale pink and sage green and off blue sky blue that everyone likes like,
#and they’ll have like multiple of these weird mirrors or spray foam or rugs for some reason like. rug? on the mirror?#and then a mirror like 2ft tall will have a Tiny viewing screen bc it’s covered by rug#that’s a lot of wall real estate for so little mirror#and those at least look kinda cool ig? but#not super into mirrors as decor though i Do insist on having a full length one#bc i need to know if outfits like. work or not in practice#bc a flatlay (or mental flatlay) is one thing but actually wearing it on your body is another#and if you can’t see your whole body at once how do you know if it’s a good fit or not#you don’t until you pass a store window or smth and catch a reflection#half tempted to joke that everyone on tiktok is self obsessed#but it’s low hanging fruit and besides i have while not The self obsessed disorder i have one of them#no shade ofc to people w npd y’all are lovely and valid and i’m sorry people are so mean to you all the time#shade to tiktokkers though they actively make the choice to be Like That#ignore me i’m just procrastinating going to sleep bc if i do i’ll have to lay to avoid sleeping on my new piercings#apparently i should have got bars and not rings but it’s too late!#and one of the rings can’t move much and the cartilage is real curvy there so i can’t get up under it to clean so i unrolled a cotton ball#soaked it in saline and have it wrapped around both sides#bit worried the rotation will lead to infection or slow healing bc i rotated my lobe piercings that i did myself#and they took a weirdly long time to heal#and would take turns being infected(?) for a while which at first i thought was from switching jewelry#when cleaning it like oh put the left one in the right ear but#idk bc i started keeping track and it still happened#they’re good now tho
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toxicpineapple · 4 years
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Please give me your amami essay, I'd like to know the TEA! I was also gonna ask for the mastermind essay, but honestly I REALLY wanna hear your thoughts on his characterization (and your thoughts on his shitty fanon characterization)
HOOO BOY OKAY. this is good, it gives me an excuse to procrastinate on reading that new amasai fic on the latest feed. (note that i REALLY WANT TO READ IT, i’m just anticipating commenting and tbh the spoons,,, i lack them. it’s okay though i’ll get over it.)
so!!! let’s start with general attitude, because i think that amami’s is really unique. he’s a subversive character. in general i feel like that was the biggest goal with his character design and personality combination-- he looks like a total playboy, kaede even comments as much moooore than once. but he’s the absolute opposite. i’ll rant about that in a bit. i’ve already gone off on a tangent and i said i was gonna talk about attitude.
amami is laid back, but not to the point of complacency. y’know what i mean? like, he’s relaxed, but he’s on his guard, too. his speaking style is pretty casual (typically he’ll greet people with a “hey,” whenever he’s slightly uncomfortable he’ll probably say “haha”... this isn’t necessarily a canon thing but i like it when people have him talking in sentence fragments. ex. “forgot to grab my jacket” or “wanted to get a snack” sort of thing) and that’s just,,, the type of person he is. he’s casual. it’s remarkable considering how wealthy amami is-- though bear in mind, he still IS wealthy, so there are bound to be things he doesn’t understand about people-- that he can be so normal and like, down to earth, in a way. when people mess around with him he’ll probably just laugh it off.
to cite a fic i read once that had REALLY phenomenal characterisation, imo, ouma ends up dumping a bucket of water on amami’s head (on accident; there are some semantics and i won’t get into it but again the fic is really good and funny and you should totally read it) and amami just squeezes out his shirt and makes a couple cracks before walking away. (sorry this isn’t meant to be a “dumping love on fics” post but GOD that fic is hysterical.) he’s an enabler too, at least i think so-- remember that anthology chapter where kaede, shuichi, and kaito are trying to catch ouma and kaito sets an “amami trap” to stop him? all ouma has to do is flutter his eyelashes and go “pleeeaaase let me go amam~niichan!” and then he just. he does. what a fucking doormat i can’t believe him.
he’s like that though. i feel like big brother stuff is kind of his weakness. (and not in a kinky way alright i will destroy you. he might make a joke about having a sister complex in one of his ftes but he DOESNT that joke was just tasteless COME ON RANTARO WHFKLDSJFK) which brings me to his whole older brother thing, because like,,, YEAH. guy grew up with twelve younger sisters!!! and he remarked in his ftes with shuichi that they’re mostly step sisters, which means he just.... has a nurturing personality. i mean amami is somewhat conservative (if you try to come on to him during salmon mode you will be brutally rebuffed; amami tells u to keep your horny thoughts to yourself, though you shouldn’t be ashamed of having them) so i imagine he’s not the biggest fan of his father’s tendencies-- not that i don’t NECESSARILY interpret his father’s behaviour as him sleeping around.... it’s possible he just likes children and deliberately marries women who already have kids so he can take them... i mean it’s exceedingly decent to keep considering ur step children to be your children after a divorce so i have a hard time reconciling this common image of rantaro’s dad as some kind of player figure with the impression i got of him in my head but that’s just my daddy issues coming into play again so ignore me-- and yet he still considers all his sisters to be his sisters.
not to mention he feels a great deal of like, responsibility, when it comes to taking care of them. i find it impossible to believe that all the losses were his fault. you could ARGUE that the one he tells you about with his younger sister was to be blamed on him? but i mean, amami is a child. he didn’t even know his sister was following him out. sure he blames himself for it but there’s no real good way to blame him just considering that,,, he’s a kid. and he was so young-- he was obviously so young-- when it happened. so like, not to be all Good and Bad on you, but i do feel that amami is fundamentally a good reason. and you SEE that too, in the killing game. i’m certain he was on the fence about trusting that note he woke up with. would you trust it? he had no memory whatsoever of writing it, all he had were the words “ultimate hunt” and a map of the school to guide his way. i imagine he wasn’t even sure if he should do what the note said. but then ryoma started talking about sacrificing himself for everyone else, and rantaro probably thought, “well... if i have a way to get us out of here, even if it doesn’t work, i can’t just let ryoma sacrifice himself without having tried.”
rantaro is self-reliant too, i think. in the talent development plan mukuro remarks that she noticed he was injured a good number of times, but never said anything about it because she felt like he was trying to keep it under wraps. (note: good idea for an amami and mukuro friendship fic. must write. someone remind me.) i think amami kind of feels isolated from his classmates? either because he has these perceived notions of like, independence and whatever, not burdening anybody else with his problems (honestly not to go chabashira on main but wtf men ask for help c’mon i promise if you find a person who’s worth being in ur life they won’t treat you like shit for feeling ur feelings) or just because he’s not around a lot. i think amami is the type of person to invalidate his own problems a lot, or at least downplay them to others. he blames himself for all his sisters going missing, took the responsibility to find them all. you know the blow that’s going to be to his education? traveling around the world looking for twelve different people? and he plans to keep doing that!!! forever!!! ugh ;-; poor babey. but anyway i feel like he doesn’t want to tell anybody about his problems because he feels like it’s his thing to deal with.
i also believe that rantaro is a bit prideful. i mean, anyone can be prideful under the correct circumstances, and in fact there is a great deal of pride that simply isn’t addressed by the fandom in analysing characters and that makes me really sad because pride is such a SEXY character flaw but i’ll leave that alone for now. he hates being told to give up on what he’s doing. i mean everyone in his life has been telling him to stop looking for his sisters. that’s got to suck, but also, DAMN look at what his reaction was. this utter refusal to open up to anybody. shuichi’s ftes with him are spent pretty much just trying to get amami to stop squirreling around and actually TALK to him. amami asks shuichi at one point if he has any siblings and when the response is negative, amami immediately assumes that shuichi wouldn’t understand, would tell him to quit. just like everyone else.
(i mean, even with kiyo and mukuro, whose circumstances mirror his almost painfully at least in willingness to sacrifice stuff for their siblings, he doesn’t tell them what he’s doing, just that he’s doing it for his sister-- singular-- and that he would do anything for her. kiyo and mukuro!! out of ANYBODY, they would understand. in tdp they DO talk about it-- kiyo encourages him to keep searching-- as his friend...... fuck amaguji is such a good ship even if the implications of kiyo saying he wants to meet rantaro’s sister after he finds her bc she must be suuuuch a good person if he’s doing all this for her are uhhh not great-- and mukuro immediately understands when he says it’s to do with his younger sister. like, full stop. she just goes “okay” and goes serious. all at once. damn rantaro, mukuro, and kiyo really do be a power trio huh. i need to write more fic about them i miss them.)
this is more into baseless conjecture so take this as you will, but i also think rantaro is kind of,,, easily distracted lmao. he mentions helping out a village with a disease-- been a while since i’ve seen his ftes, sorry for any inconsistencies-- among other shit and like... bro what are you DOING. you have sisters to find. and he can’t be getting injured all the time, getting wrapped up with gang violence and all that, looking for people who were lost traveling. i mean sure, you could say they went all over the world and got wrapped up in all sorts of mess, but more likely they stayed in roughly the same area, waiting for him to come back. and also? i have a hard time believing his sisters were lost in these remote forest places people always put them. COME ON, who the fuck goes to some village for a vacation? a RICH person no less. i’m on another tangent. sorry. but yeah, i love the people who write rantaro as an absolute airhead. i headcanon that he has no way of judging the passing of time and thus is the absolute worst in the bathroom bc he sits there for twenty minutes thinking about the universe and then walks out like “:) ok ready to go” like wtf are you even doing there stupid akljdf anyway.
i think rantaro is softhearted and thoughtful. in his ftes with kaede he demonstrates an ability to look past what people show at surface level-- you can ask him about miu, kiibo, or kiyo and he’ll give u Good Fucking Insight(tm)-- and analyse their intentions more closely. and i mean this is just from a couple day’s interaction. he’s down to earth for sure, understanding when people are intimidated but also caring and observant. (his “talk about a first impression” line is so fuckaindgf.... good for his characterisation. i love romantic amamatsu but he so clearly takes an older brother role in those ftes, he’s really such a sweetheart,,,, hnadhfkj ;w;) rantaro is just. he’s patient with people. and selfless and kind. idk it’s all the good stuff. warm smiles and indulgence. all the way. probably lets kokichi steal his lunch.
THAT BEING SAID: i think rantaro also has a very serious streak. he doesn’t show it a lot but there are moments. he’s self-sacrificing-- i mean, obviously. he was the ultimate survivor, after all. some people hc that he got there by killing, or maybe everyone else in his game died but one person, but bro that doesn’t make any sense???? no. what happened was there were probably like three people left, and monokuma was like “one has to be sacrificed” and rantaro thought, welp. it’ll be me then. and i wouldn’t say the choice would be immediate because rantaro DOES has self preservation instincts-- he’s only human-- but i don’t think he’d have let anybody else make that decision. i think ultimately he would try to protect other people.
he can be scarily confrontational too. i do believe he’d usually only do it in the defense of others-- like, his base instinct is to protect. i read a fic once (oumami, unfortunately) where ouma was committing crimes and went to hide behind rantaro and rantaro instinctively moved to protect him, and that’s.... that’s good characterisation. point one to the oumami stans, point zero to me. motherfucker. (love u oumami stans, it’s just not my thing.) i really like it in fics when he’s stern, lecturing people for hurting other people, but i also think rantaro is too understanding to be truly unforgiving. like if two people got into an argument and one came out of it more hurt than the other, i don’t believe that amami would be unsympathetic to the less hurt one. i think he’s mature enough to take a look at the situation and go, well, okay.
i think he’d be TERRIFYING when angry. he’s patient, y’know? so it takes a lot to get him to that point. he’s really, ah, accommodating of people. puts up with a lot of bs kind of thing. but i imagine the best way to get him to snap is by hurting someone he cares about. and at that point: ur fucked. i’ve never written it before because i’m terrified of what i’d do with that kind of power but.... imagine the shuichi whump. holy god.
i’m NOT here to talk about shuichi whump (though i’m down to do that any time of day believe me) so i’m gonna like. shhhhiiiiiiffft.
i project on characters a lot so at this point it’s difficult to distinguish if some of my characterisation things are like, actually characterisation things? or just me venting, so like, take nothing i say as canon, but also,,, akdsjf we love a man who bottles up his emotions.
because rantaro just doesn’t have the TIME to be crying all over the place. he was probably a total wreck when he lost his first sister. and his second. and maybe even his third. but then he started to gather his composure, more and more. because if there’s anything that rantaro has in excess, it’s composure. the more losses he suffers the more of a shield he builds up. and the self hatred and the guilt and the blame and the responsibility are piling up and up and up, but god he hates it when other people see him sad, because he needs to be the strong one, he can’t just pile that up on other people. that’s not their weight to carry, and besides, he’s the older brother, he should be able to deal with his own problems. he’d just be burdening the people he cares about by letting them see his demons.
and then he doesn’t have any coping mechanisms because he never lets himself feel enough to cope, and when people get close enough to actually CARE about him, when people notice he’s upset or struggling and offer him help, he doesn’t know how to deal with it-- and god he hates lashing out at people but it’s so much easier to deal with the consequences of being mean than the consequences of breaking down. only conflict is scary when he’s one of the causes so he needs time to recover, and well, what better way to do that than to get on a plane or a boat and go look for his sisters? after all he’s wasting time whenever he’s just sitting around, they’re still out there and he needs to find them, so might as well just keep pushing himself to the limits, because it’s his fault they’re lost anyway...
something mukuro said to rantaro in the talent development plan stuck in my brain. like, initially it’s just a funny and cute interaction (rantaro even blushes and a blushing rantaro is a GOOD FUCKING RANTARO) but when i thought about it more i was like.... huh. hm. angst ideas. mukuro makes a joke about rantaro going over to her stand at the festival to flirt with her-- i think that’s the context, i know it’s play-boy related-- and rantaro assures her (as he always does) that he’s not that kind of guy, and mukuro agrees, saying she was just pulling his leg and that he seems like the kind of person who gets dumped because he doesn’t show his emotions enough. rantaro laughs, blushes, and says “haha, not touching that one,” and akdjfnnnnnn god mukuro you’re so blunt i love you fkdjf but wow. i usually have rantaro as not having dated anyone, just because i feel like he kind of hyperfocuses on finding his sisters? and given that he’s like sixteen (seventeen at the MOST) there’s not much of a timeline for when his sisters got lost. in my fic search i had to cram all the losses into a four-year period and damn that was rough. anyway i just don’t think he’d really prioritise romance. but that reaction implies that that’s EXACTLY his experience with romance, which makes a bit of sense because mukuro is ridiculously sharp, and also it’s,, it’s just sad idk poor rantaro. getting dumped because he’s like the emotional equivalent of a doorknob when it comes to his own feelings.
i do think rantaro is a bit cowardly. not in the sense that he’d shy away from danger-- i think he’d RUSH INTO IT HEAD FIRST because he’s a man or whatever, i know he respects women but he does seem to hold some of those very stereotypically masculine ideals of constantly protecting those around him, which is like.... ok toxic masculinity mcgee can u and kaito stop throwing hands every time u see each other ty-- but more in the sense that he avoids,,, confrontation. emotional confrontation just ain’t his thing. and i think he’d rather run away from it or otherwise find some way of ignoring it than try to address his problems.
he would, with that in mind, probably try to associate with people who don’t push the matter. kiyo and mukuro, for example. they both have a fair amount of baggage themselves so they’d probably be respectful. ryoma is lowkey enough that he just, he wouldn’t bring that shit up, that’s uncool. i also think rantaro would get along REALLY WELL with kaito, and i actually don’t think kaito would pull his sidekick stuff with him? just because in a way they’re kind of kindred spirits, and i think kaito would see an ally in rantaro before seeing someone to try to nurture, so they’d probably have some kind of a truce like, if you don’t force me to be vulnerable, i won’t force you. one of the reasons why i love amamota so much is because it involves the two of them growing to care about each other beyond that sort of unhealthy camaraderie and breaking down each other’s barriers and i just..... hhnnfhhdkfj they could be so good for each other but nobody wants to talk about thatjslfkj
you weren’t asking for my amamota mess lmao sorry anon i get sidetracked SO easily. but yeah, amami gravitates towards people who wouldn’t try to get him to be more honest with himself. and i honestly think the v3 cast would be pretty good about that overall, except for shuichi who is a detective and has a habit of sticking his nose in places it shouldn’t be, but i see no reason to write that out because amami’s ftes already display that beautifully. (well, that’s a lie, i’m absolutely plotting out a slowburn in my head already that involves shuichi stripping down his walls one by one, but forget about all of that rn we don’t need to talk about why amasaimota is my ot3.) also he is softer on childish people like ouma and himiko. ain’t nobody wants to TALK TO ME about how brilliant it would be if rantaro and hiyoko were friends because hiyoko has such problems in that department and he would take one look at her and go hm. i’m adopting her. and he’s so fucking patient and nice and she’d lose the will to make fun of him and i have to do ALL THE GODDAMN WORK AROUND HERE but it’s fine. at least i get to write it.
i’ve described the fundamentals of his characterisation pretty well by now i think. i have some throwaway headcanons, like uhh,,
he’s claustrophobic
plays the guitar and the ukulele
he prefers warm weather and perishes in the cold
high pain tolerance
he’s a Good Cook
doesn’t like sex jokes (they make him uncomfortable)
asexual (i do like a good demisexual hc at all times of day tho)
master of piggyback rides
does his own piercings
impulsive as hell
gets lost easily but can always find his way back
has a lot of scars from travels
hands are rough and calloused (again from travels)
morning person
smells like evergreen (you know i had to, you know i did)
Radiates Heat Like A Fucking Toaster Oven
good hugs
hates tying his shoelaces
likes being the big spoon :)
has a tongue piercing
i said “some throwaway headcanons” but i ended up listing way more than i mean to. i’ll make a separate list of my rantaro headcanons someday and talk about them all in detail but for now, uh, there’s that.
SO AS FOR THE RANTARO CHARACTERISATIONS I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE:
god where to fucking begin. actually i know exactly where to begin. it’s my least favourite one just because, like i said at the very beginning, rantaro is a subversive character. i mean i think he’s kind of a low hanging fruit when it comes to that. there are plenty of other subversive characters in the dr series but rantaro is like that. you expect a flirt and u get,,, a sweetheart. but then some people (usually the ones who ship him with female characters exclusively though i will see it on occasion in an amasai or oumami fic) decide to throw that out the window and make him a total playboy!! and listen, i have no problem with people who are a little flirty. we’re kids!! flirt ur heart out!!! and hey, that’s not what this is about but y’know what? so long as everything is safe, sane, and consensual, then yeah!! exercise your sexual freedom and sleep with whoever you want to!!! i don’t think there’s anything wrong with messing around a little, dating who u wanna and experimenting with ur tastes and preferences. if rantaro WAS a playboy, then there would be nothing wrong with that. i would love him just the same because he’s such a fundamentally GOOD character.
except that.... he’s.......... NOT. you slaughter one of the biggest aspects of his character by throwing away what matters to him and making him some hunky-deep-voice-dreamboat dude meant to sweep kaede/tsumugi/whomsteverthefuck off her feet. rantaro is one of those characters where he’s so blatantly not that kind of person, and it’s like. it’s an affront, almost, to portray him that way? and i do believe you should have the freedom to write what you want, since we’re in that age (aside from romanticised pedophilia and incest; that shit ain’t cute, i say this often but pro-ship DNI) where u should be able to take some liberties, but it’s just. hnnn. it’s so frustrating. rantaro does not know how to smolder! if he DID smolder, he wouldn’t even realise he was doing it. he doesn’t have people lying at his feet, okay? he’s too flaky for that. i wouldn’t say he’s unreliable but he definitely ain’t at school as much as he should be.
another one that i hate: st-stalker? what the fuck? that is not sexy that is creepy and weird?
another another one that i hate: yandere? what the FUCK??? that is not sexy that is glorified ABUSE???? the yandere trope is AWFUL bc you’re taking a controlling relationship and turning it into a fetish. NO. if he limits ur contact with other people, if he follows u everywhere, if he threatens ur loved ones, if he tries to control you, ladies and gents and nonbinaries, he’s not a yandere, he’s an abuser and you need a fucking restraining order. actually, people of ANY gender or sex can perpetuate this behaviour and IT IS NOT CUTE. I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK WHAT BOUNDARIES U SET IN PLACE, IF YOUR FREEDOM IS BEING RESTRICTED THAT IS ABUSE.
hate it when people make rantaro violent. hate it when people make rantaro a murderer. hate it when people make rantaro controlling. hate it when people make rantaro overtly sexual. some kind of sultry deep voice dominant kind of figure. dude, what the fuck? i don’t,, want to make any public comments about sex positions because i think that’s kind of Strange to just talk about on a post, but i do think that the way people portray him for their smuts is,,, idk it’s weird. i’m not gonna kinkshame u but like. :eyes:
i will however accept rantaro as a thrillseeker, or a highstrung rich boy, or a total space cadet, or a himbo, or a cryptid. these are all very good interpretations of the Mans. just, like. be wary of making him two dimensional. a good character is multifaceted. if you can take a trait that clashes with all of these and SELL ME ON IT, i will buy it. if u give me good justifications, or even just good writing?? then i will accept it.
the long and the short of it is, anon, he’s my favourite so i think about him a lot. i love writing rantaro. he’s just, he’s a Guy. y’know? He’s A Good Dude, If You’ll Give Him A Shot. :) we don’t get to see very much of him but i think that there’s plenty of material if you overanalyse everything, which, as you probably all know by now,,,, i absolutely do.
thank you for the ask, this was a delight to spend an hour talking about.
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iiigris · 4 years
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Thanks for tagging me @bluebellhairpin ! Love ya! 💕 I hope you’re doing well!! ~ Eve
1. You can call me: Eve, which isn’t actually my name but I like it better lol. And I’m open to any nicknames as well ^^ 
2. Three random facts about me:  A) I’m super shy irl but online I've been told I can be really intimidating ffhfhjsk  B) I’m the mom friend, in every single friend group I'm in. If you’re friends with me then boom, prepare to be looked after, taken care of, and given hugs and headpats and affectionate swats upside the head  C) I try to be cool and edgy but it doesn’t really work
3. My hobbies are: Primarily drawing, reading, and playing piano, but also archery, listening to music, procrastinating, sleeping, and procrastinating sleeping
4. Things I love: BOOKS, (ESP THE OLD COPIES THAT SMELL KINDA LIKE DUST BUT THERE’S THAT AMAZING OLD LEATHERY PAPER AND INK SMELL TO THEM AAAAA), anime, my friends (online and irl, i love you all), my bf, piano covers of songs
5. Things I hate: Bullies, loud noises (listening to my music loud is ok tho), false rumors, being interrupted, awkward silences, bees/wasps
6. Things that make me happy: My friendssss, drawing, being alone in my own space, autumn, nighttime, rain and thunderstorms, compliments (even tho I never know how to respond and usually just end up laughing awkwardly and saying “nah...”)
7. Things that make me upset: NOT KNOWING HOW TO RESPOND TO THINGS JFJDKSJKSJ, arguments and tension (between anyone, even if it don’t concern me), stress, having a lot of things to do, being ignored when I’m trying to say something, seeing my friends upset
8. I’m currently obsessed with:  Kylo Ren but we already knew that , Star Wars, Haikyuu!!, Lord of The Rings
9. If I had an Anywhere door: Can I have a door that opens into any fictional world?? Please? If not then definitely a door that opens to wherever my friends are bc I miss them all the time 
10. My favorite fictional character is: RIGHT NOW, there’s a few. Kylo Ren, Samwise Gamgee, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yuu Nishinoya,... I could go on but I shall not :) I mean unless y'all want me to, then by all means drop me an ask 👀
Aaaaand I’ll tag @aragornswife @entishramblings @fizzyxcustard @thelokiimaginechronicles ! If y’all want to do it of course! And anyone else who wants to is welcome to join!! 
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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years
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it’s 3:20am and i’m meant to be sleeping lmao but *shrugs*
late night/early morning heavy rant incoming feel free to ignore <3 
general sadness/heavy feelings + mentions of not eating much - if may trigger please skip; there’s nothing important within anyways lmao cut might not work on mobile.
im barely eating barely sleeping barely drinking. it’s not worth looking after myself bc i’ll just be hungry/tired/thirsty later but i do these things bc i know how upset and angry Joker would be but also my online friends too.
today i drank 8 cups of coffee, slept 6 hr and ate 2 bits of toast + dinner + then 2 small brownies. that was it. i have food to eat i just cant? justify? making anything? but again, i do bc Joker. he loves me and thats what i make myself repeat every time i deny myself smthn.
i just feel so scared all the time. im always so angry and tired and yeah thats likely bc im not physically taking care of myself, but it’s always been more of a mental thing than anything else lmao everything scares me. i even scare myself bc i know that i can and have already ruined my life. i’m 22 and my entire life is a waste and it’s a self fulfilling prophecy at this point but i graduate soon and i just? have had enough? i dont want a career i dont want to do Adult Things i just wanna love and spend time with Joker and with my friends on here. reality doesnt interest me bc reality doesnt involve my interests. the older i get the more disillusioned i become and at this point i’m just waiting to totally drop off the map lmao.
i just feel like a waste of life and of potential and a big ball of anxiety and wasted opportunity and procrastination and i feel like my entire existence is an embarrassment and i wasted my mum’s life by being born [yes my brain has gone there tonight, ain’t it fun????] and nothing i ever do will ever make up for it. 
im sat cross legged in bed at 3:26am and im in the dark and im wearing my joker shirt and i just? cant be bothered to sleep? like ??? it’s too much effort? imma do it anyway bc human lmao but??? existence isnt worth the effort? ill wake up at like 9am later [i set alarms bc routine] and totally cringe at this word vomit pffft idk im just tired of everything and ive had enough and i want it to stop and i just wanna breathe and im scared and i want Joker to tell me he loves me and he gets it but hes still proud of me and i want Patrick Verona to tell me the same stuff and i just wanna be loved.
but ill wake up tomorrow and continue blasting music full volume tomorrow bc its better than listening to my thoughts and ill study and ill write and ill smile and laugh.... and then night falls and i become sad and horny pfffft what even?? but whatever we’re all going through it so shush Erika; help others <3333 it’s what counts <3 
im not really looking for advice or anything [thought that;d be appreciated] i really just needed somewhere to dump my emotions bc theyre inconvenient and i hate them and also i hate myself ksksksk joke’s on my mum no one’s more disappointed in me than me pffft get in line.
i just honestly wanna be erased from existence whats the point?
6 notes · View notes
wannabe-all · 4 years
Text
Chaotic (and maybe a bit lazy) academia
This is a list of things that I consider part of the chaotic academia.
-Obviously loving to learn new and not so new things but procrastinating that moment or being a complete mess while doing it.
-Try really hard to have an organized space for work and catastrofically failing.
-Multitasking.
-Swearing and cursing a lot for small things.
-Listening to all kinds of music.
-Wanting to read the classics but at the same time not feeling like it.
-Starting 5 books and reading them all in a span of a month or not ever reading none of them.
-Either perfect punctuation, writing and spelling either doin what u fancy cuz whas the point anyway
-Trying to learn caligraphy and doing it badly yet enjoying the experience.
-Dancing when nobody is watching.
-Dancing when everybody is watching.
-Dig Bick energy.
-Messy hair.
-Fuck gender rules.
-Loving to read relatable posts about their personality type, horoscope, hogwarts house...
-Extroverted introverts.
-Enjoying places where you are completely anonymous, like conventions, coffee shops, libraries and any other.
-Love for musicals, knowing the lyrics of most songs and singing/rapping them fluently when you are alone or walking down the street and not giving a fuck about people staring at you.
-Staring at strangers at the bus.
-Fake chill.
-The feeling you get when you see that you still have time to do an assignment and not feeling in the mood for doing it right now.
-Doing whatever you feel like doing to your face and experimenting with make-up.
-Can’t sleep because you are not comfortable in bed? Sleep on the couch or even on the carpet.
-Starting to write a page with super pretty and consistent handwriting and ending it with messy letters written in a completly different font and size.
-Wide open windows.
-Loving animals.
-Good and not so good intentions.
-Playlists on shuffle.
-Dancing and singing to jazz songs. My personal favourites are “Just a Gigolo” by Louis Prima, “ My baby only cares for me” by a lady whose name I don’t remember right now and “Hit the road Jack” by Ray Charles.
-That weird friend in the group.
-Usually a bit horny.
-Unstable sleep schedule.
-Reading at night using only street light.
-Big, great, fabulous projects and ideas but hardly ever making them real (I’m working on that right now so if you need some advice or anything just text me)
-Going out with clothes that do not match the weather and not regretting it.
-Daydreaming.
-LGBTQ+ or an ally.
-Twerk.
-Talking to yourself all the time.
-Usually being the weird kid in class and being bullied for that, don’t let anyone mess with you, you don’t deserve it, don’t shut up and ignore them, shut their mouths and show to them who is in command in those situations (do it only if you feel safe enough to do so).
-Reading using candle light, spilling the wax and having to clean up later but is 100% worth it bc your candle will look super aesthetic and excentric.
-Witchy stuff.
-Dirty fingers and hands because of ink, graphite, acrilics and else.
-Having a personal relationship with notebooks, papers, pens, brushes etc. It’s hard to write in a notebook I don’t feel any attachment to.
This is it for now, I’ll make another post on this same topic. Have a nice day and quarantine.
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nnegan13 · 5 years
Text
lil gift for paige (@air-bison-yip-yip) ily girl 
textfic, on ao3 here 
set in college!AU, if everyone feels kinda OOC its cuz I personally feel like people are different when they’re texting than when they’re interacting irl so sorry if it feels off lmao it’s still fun if you overlook that part aha 
also the formatting is different bc if I did it the same way I usually do texts in fic this would’ve been So Much Harder 
anyways enjoy!!! 
— 
Martino Rametta to entirely dead inside: head count please 
Eva Brighi: sadly, awake 
Sana Allagui: silvia and fede are still sleeping 
Luchino: Marti Elia says that if you don’t stop turning the lights on and off he’s going to fucking kill you
Luchino: and gio and Sofia are missing 
Eva Brighi: Sofia? 
Sana Allagui: nice 
Martino Rametta: nico’s with me 
Martino Rametta: eyes on ele? 
Eva Brighi: bathroom 
Sana Allagui: someone go tell her not to puke too hard cause I had to clean up last time and I don’t wanna do that again
Eva Brighi: she says fuck you 
Sana Allagui: delightful
— 
Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: heard you had quite the night 
Eleonora Sava: remind me to never do college again 
Edoardo Incanti: i thought you liked all the higher education shit 
Edoardo Incanti: ya know 
Edoardo Incanti: learning things so you can make ur mark on the world 
Edoardo Incanti: all that sentimental shit 
Eleonora Sava: fuck sentiment 
Eleonora Sava: can you call the police on a university? the school’s trying to kill me 
— 
Giovanni Garau to Eva Brighi: what do you want for breakfast 
Eva Brighi: you’re an angel 
Eva Brighi: but it’s almost noon just come back we’re getting lunch 
— 
Luchino to fede text when u wake up we went to get pizza: turns out I was wrong gio and Sofia weren’t missing 
Luchino: just gio 
Luchino: does anyone actually remember Sofia leaving the party last night? 
Luchino: anyways gio’s back 
Luchino: chicco and edo say they’ll be here in five 
Eva Brighi: shit we’ve left 
Luchino: you did? 
Elia Santini: do you pay attention to anything? 
Elia Santini: anything at all 
Elia Santini: sofia didn’t even come last night ffs 
Elia Santini: they fucking changed the name of the chat dude 
— 
Sana Allagui to Eleonora Sava: when ur done we’re downstairs 
Sana Allagui: please hurry up some of us are starving 
Eleonora Sava: why did you let me drink so much ur supposed to stop this stuff 
Sana Allagui: ur very persuasive when you want to be  
Sana Allagui: are you hurrying or are you just ignoring me now 
Sana Allagui: I’m sending edo to get you 
— 
Sana Allagui to Edoardo Incanti: how long does it take to wrangle your girlfriend 
Edoardo Incanti: not my girlfriend 
Edoardo Incanti: and don’t fucking say stuff like that you’ll give me ideas 
Sana Allagui: so she’s as slow at getting with you as she is at getting dressed? 
Edoardo Incanti: fuck off 
Sana Allagui: I’m hungry, charms 
— 
Edoardo Incanti to Fede Canegallo: when are you taking ur test 
Fede Canegallo: why 
Fede Canegallo: need me out of the apartment or smth? 
Fede Canegallo: miss sava coming over? 
Edoardo Incanti: dick 
Edoardo Incanti: i guess you aren’t coming to pizza then  
Fede Canegallo: you don’t even care 
Fede Canegallo: you can just take ele now 
Edoardo Incanti: there’s nine other people with us 
Fede Canegallo: you’d still get down then n there if you were given the chance  
— 
Eva Brighi to Fede Canegallo: edo says he’s disowning you 
Eva Brighi: what toppings do you like on ur pizza 
— 
Eleonora Sava to Giovanni Garau: did i leave my shit at yours 
Eleonora Sava: please say yes 
Giovanni Garau: yeah its here 
Giovanni Garau: [pic] 
Eleonora Sava: blessings from above 
Eleonora Sava: are you joining us or no? 
Eleonora Sava: Eva says to send you the tongue emoji but I’m not feeling nasty today 
Eleonora Sava: she’d send you one herself but she’s got pizza grease on her fingers and doesn’t want to get her phone dirty 
Giovanni Garau: tell her that’s sexy of her 
— 
Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: it’s rude to text at the table 
Eleonora Sava: desperate times, mr. hypocrite 
Edoardo Incanti: who’s getting ur table manners so wonky 
Eleonora Sava: wouldn’t you like to know 
Edoardo Incanti: i would, yes 
Eleonora Sava: ur no fun 
Eleonora Sava: just gio, I left my stuff at his this morning
Eleonora Sava: and I’m worried that if I go back to get it I’ll be roped into another midterms drinking game like last night 
Eleonora Sava: he’s not exactly being the most helpful right now 
Edoardo Incanti: want me to get them for you? 
Eleonora Sava: my knight in shining armor 
Eleonora Sava: don’t you have your own midterms to studying for? I don’t want to take time away from that 
Edoardo Incanti: its nbd 
Edoardo Incanti: how bout this 
Edoardo Incanti: I’ll get ur books and you come study at mine and make sure I actually get shit done instead of playing fifa all night 
Eleonora Sava: deal
Eleonora Sava: wait if I rat you out for playing video games instead of joining us last night can we still do that or no  
— 
Eva Brighi to *plays Baby K even harder*: @chicco @edo @fede ur all the WORST 
Eva Brighi: fifa instead of drinks? 
Eva Brighi: I’m appalled I really am 
Edoardo Incanti: who knew appalled was even in ur vocabulary 
Edoardo Incanti: and why are you texting about this we’re all here 
Eva Brighi: fede isn’t and I want to express my anger at all 3 of you at the same time 
Chicco Rodi: when fifa calls it calls 
Federico Canegallo: doesn’t make it sound better chicco 
Federico Canegallo: nd some of us like having working brains to get through midterms with 
Eva Brighi: who are you and what have you done with fede 
Federico Canegallo: fuck off Eva
Edoardo Incanti: its true high school fede would be ashamed 
Elia Santini: last week fede would be ashamed 
Elia Santini: I’m ashamed 
— 
Eleonora Sava to Edoardo Incanti: eva’s reading my texts over my shoulder I’m sorry 
Eleonora Sava: please let me study at urs they haven’t killed you yet 
Eleonora Sava: I will spam you with pleases until you say yes 
Edoardo Incanti: are you done eating 
Edoardo Incanti: lets just go now 
— 
Sana Allagui to we’ve reached 40 days and 40 nights in relationships wilderness ladies and germs: barrage of obnoxious texts? 
Silvia Mirabella: they’re leaving to go study 
Silvia Mirabella: both of them are too straight laced to actually think of doing otherwise 
Silvia Mirabella: leave ‘em be 
Sana Allagui: they left pizza early 
Sana Allagui: and now we only have one car to get back 
Sana Allagui: chicco’s not going to let me DJ so what’s even the point anymore 
Sana Allagui: it’s what they deserve
Chicco Rodi: when did I say that 
Giovanni Garau: i’m coming n I’m bringing my car don’t get ur panties in a twist 
Sana Allagui: stop thinking about my panties gio 
Giovanni Garau: ffs 
Elia Santini: Sana i’m behind you 
Sana Allagui: many thanks 
Federico Canegallo: I’ve filled my obnoxious quota earlier I’m too tired to do anything else 
Martino Rametta renamed the group what happened to having a working brain fede? 
Eva Brighi: Marti you shit 
Eva Brighi renamed the group we’ve made it to 40 days and 40 nights in relationship wilderness ladies and germs 
Eva Brighi: literally the only established rule of this chat is that we only change the name to keep track of the days 
Martino Rametta: this is exhausting 
— 
Chicco Rodi to Rocco Martucci: do you have the chat muted
Rocco Martucci: sorry who is this? 
— 
Eleonora Sava to Eva Brighi: Eva 
Eleonora Sava: Eva I’m struggling 
Eva Brighi: you left pizza early to go study with edo I am not speaking to you 
Eleonora Sava: evaaaaaa 
— 
Eva Brighi removed Eleonora Sava from Le MAT&T 
Eva Brighi: ele WILL try to thirst text you today do not answer her 
Eva Brighi added Eleonora Sava to Le MAT&T 
Eleonora Sava: sorry what the fuck was that for
Silvia Mirabella: no you don’t get to protest you’ve abandoned us 
Silvia Mirabella: go study miss sava I’m disappointed in you, frankly
— 
Eleonora Sava to Federica Caciotti: are you guys at gio’s 
Eleonora Sava: Fede? 
Federico Canegallo to Giovanni Garau: how’s it going over there 
Giovanni Garau: we don’t have dumb sticks up our asses and aren’t studying so it’s going well 
Federico Canegallo: Eva if I wanted to talk to you I would’ve texted you 
Federico Canegallo: give gio the phone 
— 
Eva Brighi to Federico Canegallo: fuck you 
— 
Eleonora Sava to Sana Allagui: are you guys at gio’s 
Sana Allagui: ERROR 404: The person you are trying to reach is not available. Check your connection and try again later. 
— 
Sana Allagui to Le MAT&T: [screenshot] 
Sana Allagui: and here we have the rare procrastinating ele sava in her natural habitat 
Eva Brighi: what a beautiful creature 
Federica Caciotti: truly moving to see such majesty in nature 
Silvia Mirabella: i can’t believe you’ve captured her on record 
Eleonora Sava: I know you’re all sitting in the same room laughing at each other 
Eleonora Sava: I’m never speaking to you again
Federico Canegallo to Edoardo Incanti: so are you guys still studying 
Federico Canegallo: or are you fucking now
Federico Canegallo: because if you’re fucking I’m not gonna come home 
Edoardo Incanti: 1. you’re a piece of shit 
Edoardi Incanti: 2. did you text me thinking that I would respond if we were fucking? 
Federico Canegallo: I mean its been a couple hours since I left so I was just making sure it was cool to come back 
Federico Canegallo: typically people don’t fuck for entire afternoons on end so 
Edoardo Incanti: please stop saying we’re fucking 
Federico Canegallo: so you’re not? 
Edoardo Incanti: i’m not going to answer that  
Edoardo Incanti: go to gio’s tho she’s moved past procrastinating and gets annoyed if you interrupt her 
Martino Rametta to Eleonora Sava: nico is wondering if we can use your pasta 
Eleonora Sava: will you be following a recipe 
Martino Rametta: i’m not gonna lie to you that was an ask permission after the fact kind of thing 
Martino Rametta: it is edible tho if you want to have some when you get home 
Martino Rametta: when will that be? 
— 
Eleonora Sava to Edoardo Incanti: what are you doing for dinner 
Edoardo Incanti: i think talking in person about this isn’t violating the rules 
Eleonora Sava: it is 
Eleonora Sava: I can text and study at the same time and therefore I’m still studying and therefore we have to stay in separate rooms 
Edoardo Incanti: you can be really obnoxious sometimes 
Eleonora Sava: it’s a talent 
Eleonora Sava: welcome to studying with me 
Edoardo Incanti: ok you’re getting crabby 
Eleonora Sava: rude 
Edoardo Incanti: we’re officially done studying for the moment 
Eleonora Sava: ok official means two party consent 
Eleonora Sava: I did not consent to stop studying 
Edoardo Incanti: acknowledged and overruled 
Edoardo Incanti: i’m coming to you don’t flip ur shit 
— 
Chicco Rodi to someone get milk I haven’t been able to eat cereal in four days and i’m dying: [pic] 
Chicco Rodi: Spotted! Edoardo Incanti out getting saucy with Eleonora Sava when they both said they’d be studying. Maybe they can use their combined genius to turn their ‘break’ into a ‘date.’ xoxo Gossip Girl 
Edoardo Incanti: fuck off man 
Federico Canegallo: edo all you have to do to make this stop 
Federico Canegallo: is stop being a fucking coward and tell her how you feel  
— 
Chicco Rodi to Eva Brighi: edo and ele are at that greek stand by the conservatory 
Eva Brighi: how dare they get gyros without me 
Eva Brighi: what are you doing there 
Chicco Rodi: not getting gyros bc now I have to spy on them 
Eva Brighi: unfortunate 
Chicco Rodi: the things I do for them 
Eva Brighi: what, exactly, are you doing for them 
Chicco Rodi: ur getting too hung up on the details 
Elia Santini to *plays Baby K even harder*: drinks tonight? 
Martino Rametta: some of us value our livers 
Eleonora Sava: and our grades 
Eva Brighi: if you value ur grades so much 
Eleonora Sava: don’t say it 
Eva Brighi: why aren’t you studying rn? 
Eva Brighi: mm? 
Elia Santini: again, drinks tonight? 
Elia Santini: bueller? bueller? 
Luchino: I’m in 
Chicco Rodi: @elia we’re gonna try to play that one game from New Girl tonight 
Giovanni Garau: i fucking love new girl 
Federica Caciotti: doesn’t that revolve around American politicians 
Chicco Rodi: historical figures, please 
Chicco Rodi: and yes 
Federica Caciotti: interesting 
Sana Allagui: I’m coming just to watch you guys be confused 
Edoardo Incanti: when is this starting 
Chicco Rodi: may or may not be four drinks in 
Edoardo Incanti: is2g 
— 
Eleonora Sava to Giovanni Garau: is anyone at urs rn? I need a quiet place to study 
Giovanni Garau: no 
Giovanni Garau: why don’t you go home? 
Eleonora Sava: Eva will yell at me 
Eleonora Sava: and edo forgot one of my books there earlier when he picked them up I’m sorry 
Giovanni Garau: ok i’m leaving right now 
Giovanni Garau: door’s unlocked but please be quick our neighbor will steal everything we own  
Eleonora Sava: eva’s right you are an angel 
Federico Canegallo to Edoardo Incanti: are you coming home or nah 
Edoardo Incanti: went to gio’s to study 
Edoardo Incanti: back later 
Federico Canegallo: do you even need to study this much for the one test you still have 
Federico Canegallo: I don’t understand you 
Edoardo Incanti to Eva Brighi: ele is exhausted please don’t yell at her when she gets upstairs 
Eva Brighi: … 
Eva Brighi: fine 
Eva Brighi: but only cuz you said please 
— 
Eva Brighi renamed the group 41 days and 41 nights in relationship wilderness ladies and germs 
— 
Eva Brighi to Eleonora Sava: Marti wants to know if you want anything for breakfast he and Nico are going out 
Eva Brighi: he also called me lazy for not getting off the couch to ask you in person 
Eva Brighi: will you yell at him for that pls 
— 
Silvia Mirabella to *plays Baby K even harder*: drinks here tonight for those of us who are feeling reckless or actually are done with midterms 
Silvia Mirabella: starting at 21 but we’re getting Thai at 19 if anyone wants to join 
Chicco Rodi: can u be both? 
Silvia Mirabella: yea that’s allowed 
Chicco Rodi: sick 
Elia Santini: if we want Thai but don’t feel like actually going to the Thai place 
Silvia Mirabella: no 
— 
Silvia Mirabella sent a link to silvietta.sil, profile on PayPal to Le MAT&T: fund drinks for tonight pls and thanks  
Federica Caciotti renamed the group Le Mom’s not buying the booze anymore 
Silvia Mirabella: funny 
Federica Caciotti sent a link to federicarica, profile on PayPal: fund my career launch into comedy pls and thanks 
— 
Federico Canegallo to do NOT speak to me about the scooter: fifa tourney @ 15? 
Elia Santini: ye 
Giovanni Garau: taking my last midterm but I can be there at like 16:30 
Federico Canegallo: lame 
Chicco Rodi: will I actually get to play today sir 
Luchino: sounds good 
Rocco Martucci: do any of you actually go to class 
Elia Santini: @chicco @rocco no
Chicco Rodi: fuck you @elia
Martino Rametta: same with gio but Nico says he’ll be there at 15 
Martino Rametta: he’s wondering if you’ll have snacks or no 
Federico Canegallo: tell the little fucker he can die before eating all of my good pretzels again 
Martino Rametta: he says bite me 
Federico Canegallo: @edo hello???? 
Federico Canegallo: update edo is still sleeping but told me to tell you all he’s going to kick your asses 
Elia Santini: fat fucking chance, charms 
— 
Eva Brighi to Eleonora Sava: making coffee would you like some 
— 
Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: hi please tell me you actually went to bed last night instead of studying more 
Eleonora Sava: I did 
Edoardo Incanti: ok good 
Edoardo Incanti: when are you taking it 
Eleonora Sava: tomorrow 
Edoardo Incanti: are you feeling better about it than you were yesterday? 
Eleonora Sava: yes 
Eleonora Sava: thank you 
Edoardo Incanti: of course 
Edoardo Incanti: i’d offer to let you come study here again but fede and chicco want to play fifa 
Edoardo Incanti: lucky fuckers are already done with their midterms 
Edoardo Incanti: but if you need someone to study with again, I’ll take on the task 
Eleonora Sava: how kind of you 
Eleonora Sava: I’m ok tho 
Edoardo Incanti: if you’re sure 
— 
Eva Brighi to Eleonora Sava: are you down for Thai or no? 
Eva Brighi: because now is the time to say something if ur not 
Eva Brighi: silvia is Determined to get spring rolls 
Eva Brighi: I think only you could stop her 
Eva Brighi: sana tried suggesting that Salvadorian place but sil shut her down hard 
Eva Brighi: come save us from tyranny pls 
Chicco Rodi to *plays Baby K even harder*: just wanted to publicly make it known that I kicked Fede and Elia’s asses at fifa 
Sana Allagui: ladies we’ve been demoted to peanut gallery
Sana Allagui: this is a federal offense 
Eva Brighi: @chicco I’ll be impressed when you can beat ele at mario kart
Federica Caciotti: same 
Martino Rametta: points were made
Silvia Mirabella: guys he might die lets not make him do that 
Sana Allagui: can we still take them to court 
Federica Caciotti: yes of course 
Eva Brighi: get ur fucking lawyer ready boys 
Luchino: wait court for what 
Giovanni Garau: grabbing the game cube when I go home this weekend 
Giovanni Garau: mario kart tourney Sunday night 
Federico Canegallo: um pay attention to this tourney pls and thanks 
Chicco Rodi: I’ve been challenged tho 
Chicco Rodi: and they’re suing us 
Federico Canegallo: I will smother you in ur sleep chicco PAY ATTENTION 
— 
Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: contrary to what the gc says it was mostly me who beat fede and Elia 
Eleonora Sava: color me even more impressed than I already said I was 
Edoardo Incanti: you didn’t say anything 
Eleonora Sava: exactly 
Edoardo Incanti: no one asked you to be sarcastic about it 
Edoardo Incanti: now what’s this about mario kart 
Eleonora Sava: don’t even try I will kick ur ass 
Edoardo Incanti: I’ll have you know I’ve won every single Incanti cousins mario kart tourney since we started doing them when I was like nine 
Eleonora Sava: its not that hard to beat Eva she’s shit 
Edoardo Incanti: we have other cousins ya know 
Eleonora Sava: did mario kart even exist when u were nine 
Edoardo Incanti: ya p sure
Eleonora Sava: hm 
Eleonora Sava: sounds dubious
Eleonora Sava: old 
Edoardo Incanti: hey 
— 
Eva Brighi to Le Mom’s not buying the booze anymore: yeah I think Thai is fine 
Sana Allagui: its not 
Eva Brighi: what’s not fine is hiding in ur room and not answering ur texts all day 
Federica Caciotti: ok so we’ve gotten through procrastination ele and annoyed ele and now we’re on to hermit ele 
Federica Caciotti: we’ve almost completed the cycle 
Silvia Mirabella: is she alive can you tell 
Silvia Mirabella: sana shut up about the food for a sec 
Sana Allagui: ok easy for u when ur the one that’s winning 
Eva Brighi: yeah I’ve heard her go to the bathroom once or twice but she hasn’t come out besides that 
Eva Brighi: I’ve texted her several times and when I call she sends me to voicemail 
Sana Allagui: have you like knocked on the door 
Eva Brighi: I may be an idiot but I’m not stupid Sana 
Eva Brighi: of course I have 
Eva Brighi: ele if you’re reading this knock on ur wall twice 
Eva Brighi: ok she did it. love you ele please come out and eat something  
Chicco Rodi to *plays Baby K even harder*: @ele so are you going to beat my ass in mario kart or not 
Chicco Rodi: you didn’t say anything 
Chicco Rodi: i need to kno how many blows my pride is gonna take this week 
Federico Canegallo: ok you are preemptively anticipating ele beating you when gio’s beating you right now 
Federico Canegallo: you’re not even playing anymore ffs 
Chicco Rodi: some things you just have to accept fede 
Edoardo Incanti: who the fuck says preemptively anticipate 
Eva Brighi: don’t be jealous just bc some fede sounds fancier than you 
Edoardo Incanti: is this bc I insulted ur vocabulary yesterday 
— 
Sana Allagui to Eleonora Sava: not responding to hermit ele takes some strength 
Sana Allagui: is everything ok?
— 
Edoardo Incanti: appalled 
Edoardo Incanti: dubious 
Edoardo Incanti: preemptive 
Edoardo Incanti: anticipation 
Eleonora Sava: no I am not arguing with you about this 
Eleonora Sava: I’m studying 
Eleonora Sava: unlike some people 
Edoardo Incanti: mm ok point taken  
Sana Allagui to Le Mom’s not paying for the booze anymore: ok Eva w/e you’ve done to piss ele off has extended to me 
Sana Allagui: she’s not responding to my texts 
Eva Brighi: well what did you say 
Eva Brighi: also she’s not pissed off she’s Stressed 
Eva Brighi: i’m Stressed 
Sana Allagui: I asked if she was ok 
Sana Allagui: n she didn’t say anything  
Silvia Mirabella: ele knock twice on the wall again if ur stressed 
Silvia Mirabella: eva did she do it 
Eva Brighi: no 
Eva Brighi: her phone’s going straight to voicemail now I think it’s off 
Silvia Mirabella: damn 
Silvia Mirabella: frontal assault into her room? 
Eva Brighi: I have a better idea 
— 
Eva Brighi to Edoardo Incanti: hey
Eleonora Sava to marti make sure nico cleans out the lint filter on the dryer or I will cut you: someone please water the plants on the veranda 
Eleonora Sava: I just realized that I didn’t get to them this morning and they’re sitting directly in the sun 
Martino Rametta: i would totally do it but I am not home atm 
Eva Brighi: I have a good idea for you 
Eva Brighi: you could come out and do it yourself 
Eva Brighi: ele? 
— 
Martino Rametta to Eva Brighi: everything ok with ele? 
Eva Brighi: you’ve been gone all day I forgot 
Eva Brighi: she isn’t coming out of her room or answering her texts 
Martino Rametta: oh so Test Ele 
Eva Brighi: I think its worse than usual 
— 
Martino Rametta to Eleonora Sava: hi i would request that you set aside your books and take ten deep breaths 
Martino Rametta: nico seconds me 
Eleonora Sava: :/ 
Martino Rametta: eva did water the plants on the veranda she sent me a pic 
Eleonora Sava: :) 
— 
Edoardo Incanti to Eva Brighi: sorry I was talking to nonna 
Edoardo Incanti: she wants us to come over soon 
Eva Brighi: like today soon? 
Edoardo Incanti: no like in a few weeks 
Eva Brighi: ok 
Eva Brighi: wait aren’t you guys doing fifa right now 
Edoardo Incanti: does that make me incapable of texting nonna 
Eva Brighi: she doesn’t text 
Edoardo Incanti: calling nonna then w/e 
Eva Brighi: edoardo incanti did you actually speak to our grandmother or are you bsing me 
Edoardo Incanti: i promise I did I’m just very tired atm 
Eva Brighi: ok lover boy I’ll let it slide this time 
Eva Brighi: text ele for me I haven’t heard or seen her all day and I’m getting worried 
Edoardo Incanti: weird she’s been texting me 
Eva Brighi: of fucking course 
Edoardo Incanti: is everything ok? 
Eva Brighi: she’s being a recluse 
Eva Brighi: I’ve found that she gets like this around tests its p usual 
Eva Brighi: but this feels off I’m worried 
— 
Edoardo Incanti: in order to properly be a recluse you have to turn your phone off you know 
Eleonora Sava: I have no idea what ur talking about 
Edoardo Incanti: Eva says she hasn’t heard from you all day 
Edoardo Incanti: you haven’t been responding in the gc 
Edoardo Incanti: but you’ve been texting me 
Edoardo Incanti: don’t recluses avoid all contact w the outside world 
Eleonora Sava: whoever said I was trying to be a recluse 
Edoardo Incanti: is everything ok? 
Eleonora Sava: yes 
Eleonora Sava: why wouldn’t it be 
Edoardo Incanti: i’m coming over 
Eleonora Sava: you don’t need to 
Edoardo Incanti: i am tho 
Eleonora Sava: edo 
Eleonora Sava: edo seriously you don’t have to 
Eleonora Sava: edo pick up your damn phone 
— 
Edoardo Incanti to Eva Brighi: are you home? 
Eva Brighi: ya 
Edoardo Incanti: come buzz me in 
Eva Brighi: she’s not gonna let you in I’ve tried that 
Edoardo Incanti: w/e just do it pls 
— 
Federico Canegallo: where did you go 
Edoardo Incanti: ele’s 
Federico Canegallo: ok 
Federico Canegallo: not gonna finish the tourney? 
Edoardo Incanti: we played for like two and a half hours I think that’s enough
Federico Canegallo: ok 
Federico Canegallo: are you gonna come to drinks 
Edoardo Incanti: depends 
Federico Canegallo: ok 
Federico Canegallo: tell her to feel better 
— 
Eva Brighi to Le Mom’s not buying the booze anymore: ok better idea is here now 
Sana Allagui: don’t tell me you got edo to come over 
Silvia Mirabella: eva now is not the time to try to set them up 
Sana Allagui: it’s brilliant 
Eva Brighi: ok contrary to popular (silvia’s) belief chicco and I are NOT crazy for trying to set them up 
Eva Brighi: n this isn’t part of that 
Eva Brighi: they are friends and friends are allowed to do shit like care about each other 
Federica Caciotti: and have romantic feelings for one another 
Eva Brighi: not! the! point!
— 
Silvia Mirabella to *plays Baby K even harder*: numbers for Thai? 
Luchino: me
Elia Santini: ok the tourney’s almost done 
Elia Santini: you’re sure you won’t bring any to us 
Silvia Mirabella: we are going back to mine after this why would we bring it all the way to fede’s 
Chicco Rodi: me for Thai 
Giovanni Garau: same 
Martino Rametta: me n nico too 
Elia Santini: traitors 
Martino Rametta: we literally are already done with the tourney you’re just a sore loser and want to play until you win a game 
Elia Santini: ur exposing me 
Elia Santini: i will eat ur firstborn 
Silvia Mirabella: edo? fede? 
Federico Canegallo: nah I am gonna pity play Elia until he wins 
Elia Santini: fuck you 
— 
Edoardo Incanti to Silvia Mirabella: any chance you could make a stop here after Thai 
Silvia Mirabella: no i literally just told Elia I’m not going to yours 
Edoardo Incanti: at ele’s 
Silvia Mirabella: oh 
Silvia Mirabella: yeah of course 
Silvia Mirabella: what do you guys want 
Edoardo Incanti: the drunken noodles and that one yellow curry 
Silvia Mirabella: will do 
Silvia Mirabella: is ele ok? 
Edoardo Incanti: yeah she’s alright 
Silvia Mirabella: tell her I’m glad she’s ok 
— 
Eva Brighi to Edoardo Incanti: how’s ele 
Edoardo Incanti: hungry 
Eva Brighi: we’ll stop by soon 
Eva Brighi: almost done I promise 
Eva Brighi: besides that? 
Edoardo Incanti: she yelled at me for a bit for coming over n got mad when I took away her textbook 
Edoardo Incanti: but then she calmed down 
Edoardo Incanti: currently on the porch 
Edoardo Incanti: she’s v concerned about the plants 
Edoardo Incanti: says you did a shit job of watering them 
Eva Brighi: that is what she wants to say rn 
Eva Brighi: so picky 
Eva Brighi: is she feeling better? 
Edoardo Incanti: i think so 
Edoardo Incanti: really remains to be see tho 
Edoardo Incanti: she’s very stressed 
Eva Brighi: ok 
Eva Brighi: keep me updated 
— 
Silvia Mirabella to Edoardo Incanti: i come bearing food 
Silvia Mirabella: buzz me in pls 
— 
Federico Canegallo to *plays Baby K even harder*: we’ll be over soon 
Eva Brighi: cool we started w/o you 
— 
Eva Brighi to Le Mom’s not paying for the booze anymore: mission check on ele post drinks is a go 
Eva Brighi: I might be too drunk for this but w/e
Eva Brighi: all the lights are off 
Eva Brighi: it’s quiet 
Eva Brighi: checking her room 
Eva Brighi: oh! 
Eva Brighi: they are asleep 
Sana Allagui: they 
Silvia Mirabella: they?
Eva Brighi: yes edo is here still 
Sana Allagui: nice 
Federica Caciotti: how does ele look 
Eva Brighi: relaxed 
Sana Allagui: are they snuggling 
Eva Brighi: yes 
Eva Brighi: its v cute 
— 
Eva Brighi renamed the group ok they were snuggling last night are we still in the relationship wilderness, who knows? day 1 
Chicco Rodi: sorry they were what last night 
55 notes · View notes
luobingmeis · 5 years
Text
okay so bc i need to vent and also bc we all know the old song and dance of “jords is unable to vent post anywhere else,” i’m just gonna rant under the cut and i apologize to mobile users if mobile fucks up the read more :/
also i’d appreciate it if this wasn’t reblogged
also also feel free to ignore
i feel like i’ve kinda just officially hit a point in my life where, for the most part, things are not good or, at the very least, stagnant
like, it’s so easy for me to get sad and stressed and it’s, like, almost every day. like, i think the only day that i haven’t gotten down was wednesday bc it was my birthday, but even then, i kinda had to Work On It
and, like, beginning of september, things were alright!! but then, u know, all good things must come to an end
and i feel like i’ve been like this for months but honestly idk (tho, tbh, i think may and june were iffy, july was bad, august was exhausting [i think idk i can’t really remember but i also know parts of august were bad], the first two weeks of september were good, and now things feel consistently bad)
and like. things so easily set me off now?
and i feel tired and a bit sad and stuck and suffocated and, honestly? really lonely, and like it’s my own doing. like, i feel like i’ve just completely isolated myself
and tbh i think that’s why found family tropes always make me a bit sad underneath all the love bc i feel like i dont have that like everyone else does. like i have friends and best friends but i feel like i’ve just been pushing some of my closest friends away bc i rarely have the energy for shit anymore??? like idk, just last weekend, two of my best friends were home and i love them so much but i was so tired and so bad last weekend that, like, within an hour or two, i’d be ready to go home. and i still had fun!!!! but there was a part of me with this underlying exhaustion
and swim is kinda fucking me up bc i do love swimming and i love being on the team but i never want to go to practice anymore and the season only just started and i’m already waiting for january to come and for the season to end which is Bad bc i don’t wanna rush swim season and ik that i love it but i’m just,,,, so tired and unmotivated all the time and idk
and then with schoolwork, i feel like i just can’t do it anymore. i procrastinate on everything that i do. last year, i would be doing homework for hours every day to get everything done early and, last night, i nearly had a breakdown over having to do a discussion post (for readings that i did not do) and almost emailed my teacher at 10pm to ask for an extension
and, like, once i get my work started? i’m going!!! i’m doing it and it’s decent!!!!! but it’s the getting there that sucks, bc it takes me so long now
and i feel so pressured to do well and get a 4.0 again and just do everything perfect but i can barely bring myself to do shit anymore that i just feel like i’m going to let everyone down and people are going to realize really quickly that i can’t do all that i’ve wanted to
also my memory has been so bad lately and like!!! shit’s wild
and my sleep schedule is so fucked and i need to fix it bc i’m getting, like, on average, 5 or 6hrs a night, which isn’t enough for me, but like!!! i can’t get myself to be going to bed before 11 or 12. sometimes it’s bc i don’t want the next day to happen, and sometimes it’s bc i say that i’ll go to bed earlier and then i just don’t
also i have so many fun things coming up in the next week and being excited is so hard. like tm i’m going out for a very nice dinner w/ my parents for my birthday and, in my mind, it’s just like another Task i have to do. i have the taz and mbmbam shows next week and i am excited for those but my stress is currently outweighing my excitement
and like, all in all, things feel so shit rn like it feels like every day i’m making dumb posts like “ahaha time for sad o’clock” or whatever bc i can’t take myself seriously even tho i so badly Want To be taken seriously but!!! idk
like basically i’m at the point where if, like, every single week is like this, idk what i’m gonna do bc i’m not gonna be able to handle that
and also i feel stagnant and stuck and isolated and i feel like it’s all on me but like. idk how to fix that!!
anyways this is my rant post and it’s very embarrassing and i’m sorry if you stuck around to read all of this bc this basically became a pity party for myself bc i can’t talk to the people i care abt in my life abt my issues but i sure can scream into the ether as strangers read on. so, like, yeah.
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utopianvoices · 6 years
Text
seven things | h.hyunjin
↭ genre: enemies to lovers au (kinda); fluff
↭ word count: 4.27k (i might’ve gone slightly crazy)
↭ a/n: yEs i is back!!!! here’s a hyunjin scenario that i don’t really like to make up for my disappearance from posting works :D i’m writing this on a whim so it might seem like i’m on crack but really it’s just me on a daily basis,, also this turned out way longer than i expected whoOps
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
ok so
you were waiting outside the cafe that you and hyunjin usually go to
and y’all might be wondering 
why don’t you just go in??
that’s what i’m wondering too
well because
your best friend was late,,, for the 3rd time that week
and to say you were pissed was an understatement
just as you whipped your phone out to message that not so little nuisance, you heard rushed footsteps getting closer and closer
and you turn just in time to get aTTACKEd by this boy
“i’m SO sorry y/n i overslept and like i really tried to come on time but then the bus was late too and-”
“just stfu and never talk to me again”
well then
“noOOoOo y/n don’t say that i’m so sorry. i promise i’ll try my best not to be late from now onwards :(”
and like you really wanted to be mad at him
really
but he was pouting and your heart was going boom boom
because he just looked really adorable
so you just ended up going “ugh fine”
which was the cOmplete opposite of this whole speech you had planned in your head
about how you were going to stop being friends with him and move to another continent,,,,,,,,,,
yea maybe that wasn’t such a good speech
but you weren’t going to let him go that easily too
so, you being the absolute tease 
“you know i think it was better when we hated each other”
oUCh
and hyunjin being the drama king he is
decides to go overboard and clutches his chest, staggering around the entrance of the cafe
you just roll your eyes and walk into the cafe,,, ignoring the poor boy outside
as you scan the cafe for seats, you feel a weight on your shoulder
“you know the feeling of hate was never mutual”
and you look up to look at the party responsible for this new burden
and well let’s just say you were about to combust on the spot
because your best friend was one good looking boy
and like all this violent rush of thoughts took you back to when the only “feelings” you had for him was hate
*cue flashback* i suck at transitions im sOrry
so you were just chilling in class,,, minding your own business as you doodle on your book
when the school’s most popular girl decides to spill her salad juice or whatever disgusting green thing she was drinking, all over your papers 
and i mean, accidents happen ofc and you’re TOTALLY willing to let it go
if she had apologised
IF
but she was clearly too popular for petty things like apOlogies 
so you just open your mouth to fire at her when she cuts you right off
“that was my only juice, but i’ll forgive you since i’m so kind”
and you just stare at her like she grew 3 heads bcs
how is one so dUMb
“oH that was juice??? i thought you were drinking vomit, you know since it kinda matches up with your personality?”
oH no one messes with you
and you were trying really hard to hold your laughter in, because you were the sAss master and no one stood a chance against you
but she just whined like a little girl, with no proper comeback to match up to yours
“hyunjin baby!!! aren’t you going to say anything?!”
and you just realised the being standing behind her,,,, hwang hyunjin
soccer team’s star player/captain and pretty much the most popular boy
half the school was drooling whenever he passed by
and i mean,,, it’s not like the girls didn’t have good taste or anything of that sort
because this boy was sculpted by the gOds,,,, and you would be lying if you didn’t let yourself glance at him a little longer than needed when passing by
but like all cliche stories, the most popular girl and the most popular boy were dating
i mean,,, cmOn it’s a given
till this day you were still wondering how in heavens they ended up together,,, one’s a plain bitch and the other,,, well, not so much of an asshole
but all thoughts of him potentially being nice unlike his girlfriend flew out of the window in like a millisecond 
“hey y/n maybe you shouldn’t have left your bag to block the aisles”
bij say whAT
first of all,,, your bag was tucked close to your table, bcs you were a responsible student who cared for the well-being of other students,,, most of the time
second of all,,, how did he know your name?? 
you were pretty sure you never mentioned it
but as these thoughts were running through your head, rendering you silent,,, the bij thought she had “won” and took hyunjin’s hand with a smug face, walking off 
and you were too busy caught up in your own thoughts to notice the apologetic look hyunjin was desperately trying to get across to you,,,, 
but you knew one thing for sure after that small incident
you hated hwang hyunjin
call yourself a niggling bij but that’s just you,,, you gotta deal with what you gotta deal
so since that day, every time you glanced at hyunjin, your glance turned into a glare and you made sure he caught that “glance” before you broke eye contact and stormed off
your petty-meter was seriously off charts,,,,,
and it pains you to admit it but mAyhaps the reason you were so pissed was because you had this teeeeeeeeeny tiny crush on him, just like the rest of the girls in the school
because although he was a jock and dating that evil witch, he seemed nice to enough to smile at anyone who made eye contact with him and like,,,, basically for being the opposite of being a generic athletic jerk
but nAh that one sentence was enough to snap you out of your delulu and go about your own day,,,, ya know, hating hyunjin and stuff
the usual
so this goes on for weeks, you giving hyunjin your famous glare and hyunjin feeling his heart break every time you do it,,,, bcs he’s never had anyone hate him before
one day you were at the library, rushing your assignments bcs dAmn the queen of sass was also a queen of procrastination
like mate, stop procrastinating
you binge-watched your show over the weekends and now you were seated at the library, regretting your life decisions
and you’re so focused like, it’s a miracle that you’re that focused
but some iDIOT just breaks that focus by sitting from across you on YOUR table
who dares
you look, ready to snap at this soul when you realise who it was
oh
“hey y/n,,, can i sit here?”
“funny how you do it and then ask for permission”
at this hyunjin gives you a sheephish smile and goes
“well i had a hunch you wouldn’t have said yes if i had asked first”
“ding ding ding!!!!!! you’ve got the correct answer and earned yourself no shits from me!”
at this, you go back to your work, ignoring the cute pout hyunjin was now sporting because of your ignorance
3 minutes later and you’re disrupted again
“hey y/n,,, i’m sorry for what happened between you and her,,, i really didn’t mean to say that. i just wanted to let you know that i broke it off with her.”
“oh wow congrats”
you hear him sigh, feeling triumphant that you had gotten him to give up talking to you
well spoiler, you wERE WRONG
not even 2 minutes later
“hey, do you have a pen i can borrow? i lost mine,”
“hey do you know what this means”
“hey-”
tHAT WAS IT
“omG hyunjin i’m trying to finish my assignment will you just shut up for a while? like literally i’m willing to do anything to get you to shut up”
you furiously look back down at your assignment, wanting to get it over and done
and then you hear it
you hear him clearing his voice,,, indicating that he was about to speak again
just as you were about to cut him off
“anything?”
wut,,,,,
“what do you mean, anything?”
“you said you’ll do anything to get me to shut up. will you really?”
“ofC not what do you take me for??”
“okay then i guess i’ll just continue talking :>”
bOi
that did it for you
you slammed your book shut, and looked up at him, narrowing your eyes suspiciously
“what’s your deal?”
at this, hyunjin looks away, thinking for a while
just as you were starting to get impatient, he speaks up
“okay. okay okay okay. this is the deal. i’ll stop talking for the rest of the day if you promise that we can be friends. and that you won’t hate me anymore.”
well that was unexpeCTED
but you weren’t that easy
nah uh
“wOw you’re asking for a lot huh,,, hmmm let’s see,,,,,,,,,, no.”
and just as you were about to pack your stuff and move to another table, you hear something that stops you from moving
“i’ll help you with your assignment. i’ve already finished mine so it’ll be a piece of cake.”
now THAT was a good offer
“but i only help my friends with their assignments”
this lil sHIT
well played hwang hyunjin, well played *slowly claps*
you watched as he smirked at you, knowing that he had caught your weak spot
you had an internal debate with yourself, and finally came to a decision
will you regret this decision??
probably
but you were desperate
so you stare at him for a few seconds before extending your hand
“deal.”
he breaks out into a grin and grabs your hand, sealing the deal and the start of a new friendship
that night, just as you were about to sleep after that oh so eventful day you had, you hear your phone chime
you groan as you reach out, wanting to make as little movement as possible bcs,,,, you were lazy
you grab your phone by the tips of your fingers and check your messages
hyunjin: hey this is my address! [address]. see ya tmrw bestie <3
you roll your eyes at his attempts and type one letter before throwing your phone to the side and drifting off to dreamland, with a slight smile on your lips
you: k
the next morning,, you are there at hyunjin’s front door, right on time
bUt why aren’t you pressing the doorbell???? 
let’s be real,,, underneath all that sass, you were just a nervous teenage girl
before you could chicken out and leave, you smack yourself and press the doorbell
a few seconds later the door opens,, and you come face to face with a middle-aged woman
“hi dear, what can i do for you?”
aWkwArd,,,,
“uhm,,, i’m here to work on an assignment with hyunjin??”
“oh! hyunjin didn’t mention anything, but come right in!”
that little piece of uncultured swine
you walk into the house and stand around awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say
when his mother points you to his room, and lets you know that he’s probably still sleeping with a small shake of her head
hmMm looks like him oversleeping happens often
you contemplated if you should go in,,, cause ya know, privacy and shit
but you had to get your revenge??? obviously
so you silently walk in to the room and voila 
there was that sleeping lump, sprawled across a queen sized bed
as you get closer, you can’t help but notice just how good looking he was
i mean sUre you’ve seen him around in school but
with the amount of peace he had on his face,,, he looked almost ethereal
but with that thought, you snapped out of it
bcs exCuse yOu
you’re here for revenge
not to admire the boy
so you carefully lift your leg,,, and muster all the strength in the world
and BAM
you just kicked him off the bed,,, him falling onto the floor with a loud thud
and it did the trick !!!!
he shot right up and looked around, vision hazy and mind still blurred
just as he was starting to come to his senses, his eyes focus on the one girl standing on the other side of the bed,, smirk evident on her face
“that’s what you get for leaving me alone with the adults in the house”
and you walk right out,, leaving him to stare at you speechless 
time skip,,,, 5 hours later, and you’re all done with your assignment
and although you hated to admit it
it turned out pretty fricking amazing
thanks to your brain, your hardwork, a bit of hyunjin, but mostly your perseverance :D
oK but real talk literally you were screwed if he didn’t help so
you kinda owed him big time
“look man, thanks a lot for your help. i would have died without you”
and hyunjin just counters this statement with a smile and shakes his head, letting you know that it was okay
and you kindA felt bad,,,, i mean, you did try and kill him with your glares the past few weeks
and you weren’t thAt mean
so,,,
“uhm,,, do you think,, maybe,, we could start over? hard feelings forgotten?”
and this takes hyunjin by total surprise,,, like all he ever wanted was just to talk to you after seeing you stare him down the past few weeks
but he’d be lying if he said that his heart wasn’t bursting for joy bcs !!!! yay!!!! you didn’t hate him anymore!!!!! what a baby boy
so y’all start over that very day,,, and as expected, hit it off almost immediately
*end flashback*
sO back to now where you have an amazing best friend
pshhh best friend they say
what no i didn’t say anything
n E ways
oK fine,,, on top of him being your best friend, it was really no surprise that you fell for him
i mean cmon
he’s sweet
talented
bEautiful
and etc
but like bij nAh, you were never planning to confess bcs bij??? that could ruin your friendship????
everybody facepalm with me
so you just keep it a secret and try to live with it
except it was reaaally hard to keep it a secret
bcs you saw him almost every. single. day
he’s always asking you to do something with him
getting ice cream,, watching a movie,, going to the park
you even learned how to play soccer bcs he insisted on teaching you
but despite all this, you were still persistent that he saw you as nothing more than a friend,,, and that he did this with all his close friends
news flash: nO he did not
but since it was too much feelings for you to handle, you spill all of this to your other close friend, jisung
and he’s like 
“oOOoO expected,,, why don’t you just confess??”
and you’re like 
“are you duMB? it’s going to ruin our friendship?? i can’t do that??”
and he’s just like
“you’re the dumb one here sis, but go off, i guess”
bCs literally the whole world knew you two had heart eyes for each other
and by whole world, i mean jisung
and being xTra, he’s like,,, you know what?? i gotta get them together
so he “casually” makes a bet with you
and you’re like ooOoO fun
bcs you love bets
mainly has to do with the reason that you hardly ever lose one :>
so when jisung goes “if i get higher than you on this economics test, you gotta text hyunjin 7 reasons why you like him. no explanations given.”
and you really wanna say no and run away
but like
you were no coward
so you’re like “sUre bij bring it on, i was born ready for thi s”
so the day you get back your results, you’re more nervous for the bet than your grades
like you could fail, for all you care
but as long as you failed higher than jisung,, all’s fine
so when you get back your test with a 86 scribbled at the top, you grin to yourself,, convinced that there was no way he was gonna get any higher than you
but as you turn to show him your score,, your smile slowly fades,,,
bcs on his paper
a big red 92 is written at the top, with an ‘excellent’ scribbled next to it
“so,,, y/n,,, ready for what i’ve planned?”
and he’s just grinning like the cheshire cat, with you staring at him in disbelief, mentally counting down to your doom
the next day, you try to convince your mum that you’re down with a really bad disease, which makes it absolutely impossible for you to go school
but your mum ain’t buying that
so there you were, standing at your locker, looking left and right for any signs of han jisung
just as you thought you were safe, you hear someone calling out your name
your face turns white, as you turn around, expecting to come face to face with jisung
but instead you’re met with a raven-haired boy that made your heart beat unnecessarily fast
“whatcha doing today after school??”
and you’re just like qUick think of an excuse
bcs you were in no position to stay with him any longer than necessary for fear that you may just blurt out what you had formed in your head bcs of the bet
“uhhh i’ve got plans with jisung!! we’re gonna go to,, the market! yea!”
seriously,,,, that’s the best you could come up with??
so hyunjin just gives you a really weird look and draws out a “okay,,,,,,,,”
and you’re just like “yea okay bye!!!”
and you run the heCK away
time skip and it’s the end of school
the time which you were dreading,,, because there stood han jisung, waiting for you to confess to your crush
“jisung,,, i really don’t think i can do this,,, can’t i just like, buy you lunch for a week or something?”
“as tempting as that sounds, nO. you’ve gotta do this for yourself, for humanity, and for my sanity. i swear i can’t hear you talking about him again”
at his, you sigh, knowing that he’s right,,, but still not gaining the guts to do it
“come on y/n,,,, you know that on top of me really wanting you to stop bothering me about him, you really gotta get your feelings out of your system,,, you’re not going to be able to keep everything in.”
and although you just wanted to die and chill in heaven at that moment
jisung had a point,,, which was a rare occurrence 
so you decide to listen to him,,, i mean, what’d you got to lose???
maybe your shame
and your precious friendship
but that’s it
so you whip your phone out and press the top contact on your phone
“ok here i go,,,”
“yEs queen!!! get it!”
you briefly roll your eyes at him, before returning your eyes to the screen
the cursor blinking, almost tauntingly
you breathe out and just take it as a platform to let it all out
i love the way you play soccer
ofc you do,,, i’m the best :P
you feel slight relief at his reply, but at the same time, you couldn’t stop the way slight disappointment filled you at his interpretation of you texts
jisung peeked at your phone from over your shoulder, immediately voicing out objections
“come on y/n!! that’s so lame! that barely counts as a confession!”
you groan out loud, and type on your phone, earning a hum of satisfaction from the nosy boy behind you
i love the way your eyes crinkle when you smile 
why, thank you y/n,,,, but what’s with the sudden compliment spree
“ugh, jisung i’m going crazy,,,”
you actually were,,, moments away from throwing your phone into the lake right beside where you were seated
“you got this love,,, just a few more and you can live with no regrets,”
you knew he was right,,, although it was absolutely embarrassing, you know you would regret not telling him in the future
i love the mole underneath your eye
y/n??? c’mon, what’s wrong? are you pranking me right now??
you take a deep breath, and continue on, with the newly found courage
i love the way you pestered me to talk to you even though i was being a complete ass
hey seriously, tell me what’s happening?
i love the way you always manage to put a smile on my face no matter the circumstance
y/n, please,,, don’t fill me with empty hope,, cut it out if you’re pranking me,,,
,,, empty hope? what’s that supposed to mean??
whatever it meant, it sure did it’s part in speeding up your already dying heart 
you suck it up, butterflies growing stronger as you get closer and closer to your last message
i love how my heart speeds up merely at the mention of your name
tell me that this is what i think it means,,,
you stared at your screen, three simple words written out
but your fingers seemed to be jammed, unable to press the send button
was this all just a mistake?? maybe you could just play it off as a prank by jisung
“you got his honey,,, just do it,, press the button” 
and with this encouragement from jisung, you press the send button without further hesitation, feeling as though your heart physically stopped as you observed how the “delivered” changed to “read”, indicating that he had read your message
i love you.
are you for real???? i’m coming to you now. where are you?
you stare at your phone, unable to comprehend what had happened in the past few minutes, as jisung slowly pries your phone from you
he types your whereabouts, as you continue to space out, heart beating at an unusual pace as you still try to process what you just did
“i’m going to leave now okay? just know that i am really proud of what you did,,,, and don’t worry too much, everything will be fine,”
with this, jisung leaves, leaving you to sit there alone, just wondering how things were going to be between you and hyunjin now
were y’all going to stop being friends??
or maybe you could just completely ignore what had happened and go back to being how y’all used to be,,,,
as you were in your own world, you fail to hear the footsteps that stopped right behind you
you hear someone take a seat beside you and whip your head to the side, almost regretting it immediately
“so,,, your messages,,,,”
and before you could do anything else, words just spill from you mouth with no filter whatsover
“i’m so sorry hyunjin, i really am,,, i know that we’ve been really really close friends and i might have just ruined what we had. i understand if you don’t wanna be friends anymore but i guess i hope we could just forget this and move on? i mean, that’s totally your choice because-”
and you’re cut off, just like that
no warning
nothing
zilch
nada
and the only thing that stopped you from continuing your rant was the fact that there a pair of lips on yours
hyunjin’s ones to be exact
whAT
DID WE EXPECT THIS???
yes, yes we did
but you certainly got the answer to your worries by that one action
as y’all break apart, you stare at him still dazed by the kiss, as he smiles lovingly at you
“i was so afraid that you were just pranking me,,, because if you had been, i would’ve been so heartbroken cause i really got my hopes really high,,, like, super high,, i guess i never replied you tho,,,, i love you too y/n. more than you can imagine.”
and you just snap out of it and do something you always do when you had to cope with intense situation
you laughed
you laughed and laughed and laughed
were you laughing at the fact that the person you loved, loved you back?
were you laughing at the fact that jisung was right for once?
or were you laughing at the fact that you were being a dumbass all this while when you could’ve manned up sooner?
you never found out
but what you did find out, is that being in love was amazing
especially when the person you were in love with was hwang hyunjin
so since then, you’ve been having a pretty frickin amazing life
good grades, hot boyfriend, the whole package
the news that you both were dating spread like wildfire
half of them were surprised, the other half jealous
but people were mostly surprised bcs of the fact that they thought you and him were already dating,,,
like you both were glued to each other every other day
so with that, everyone slowly got accustomed to the fact the school’s jock was once again taken
your relationship with hyunjin didn’t actually change that much,,, other than the fact that y’all kissed and did all the mushy shit
and also omg imagine 
you going for his soccer games, sporting his extra jersey that had “hwang” on the back of it, together with the number he was playing
and also him giving you flying kisses right before the starting whistle blows
and running over to you to give you a proper kiss once the final whistle had been blown, win or lose
and you couldn’t have been happier
∞ end ∞
571 notes · View notes
seoulscenarios · 6 years
Text
College AU! Bang Chan
ahhhhhh!!!!!! we made it to 100 followers today and we decided to release a special series in order to celebrate! starting with chan, we’ll be releasing a college au or two a day all to do with stray kids! i hope you enjoy and thank you all once again, bc without you we wouldn’t be doing this
- Major: Music Production (are we even surprised lmao)
-Minor: Home Economics
-Clubs: ……. He has no time to go to clubs, though he does occasionally help out Johnny at the radio station by sending him songs to play or, even once, he hosted alongside him, he also occasionally goes to seungmin’s baseball club to help him train bc he’s the sports dad lbr
- He’s a 3rd year student which means…… he’s currently dying
-Minho thought he had it bad being a education major but chan,,,,, his bloodstream was coffee, he became one with the coffee lmao
-Chan hyung? When did you last sleep?
-Sleep? What is this sleep you speak of?
-Speaking of hyung, chan rent out his apartment bc he’s a broke student and he basically ended adopting a fellow australian in the form of Felix who was a 1st year,,,, which meant chan practically adopted him and his merry bunch of friends
-Not that he minded,,,, but his wallet did lmao bc paying for 9 people at bbq during peak time,,,,, chan practically cried and shut himself in the recording studio and wrote a song about how the ones you worry about aren’t your enemies but the ones who smile like the sun then rob u blind at dinner
-(lmao no chan loved his kids really and one time felix did offer to pay he practically wrestled him,,,,, chan won)
-So his major
-Is mostly practical with a tiny bit of theory throw in once a week to learn about different production techniques which chan found HELLA interesting bc he loved to learn new things about music
-Music was his passion and he had no doubt about going to uni to do music as a career because there was nothing else he ever wanted to do
-So Chan gets sit in a recording studio most days and gets Woojin to sing on some of his tracks whilst bribing two of Felix’s friends who he met at an underground rap scene to record as well
-The first time he met those two friends, Changbin and Jisung, he felt an instant connection esp bc he found out that Changbin was the kid his production teacher was enthusing about for weeks lmao
-And whilst Jisung didn’t major in music production, his song writing and rap flow were so unique that chan was determined to recruit him
-Luckily,,,, they both agreed bc they already knew who chan was from Felix and he has campus reputation for being the best music student on campus (not that chan really knew about this,, he was just very confused whenever he saw gangs on giggling people around him that he almost always looked around to see if Taeyong or Daniel were nearby lmao sweetie no it’s you)
-Him, Changbin and Jisung formed a trio and they all wrote songs and performed in underground uni clubs and rumour says that whenever 3racha performed there was a waiting list for about 3 months
-The three of them were extremely popular but they rarely performed as Chan was extremely busy with 3rd year work oh no
-But whenever they did
-Oh boy
-Was it extremely popular
-Throngs of people,,,, and a lot of phones taking recordings and posting them on the college snapchat or on Instagram
-They became a famous group though not many of them knew the boys by their real names bc they had stage names uwu
-Only those who were very into the music scene figured out that CB97 was the music production departments’ prize angel student and when they tried to tell other people on the campus,,,, they never believed it bc how could Bang Chan, a sweetheart, rap like that about such deep issues when he performed at college festivals and showcases he played softer mellower songs
-Your friends were very much into Bang Chan and 3racha and they were always found amongst the gaggles of people who saw him round campus or attended 3racha concerts religiously
-Not that you could ever be seen amongst the gaggles
-You had quite the reputation on campus,,, the kids had nicknamed you stone y/n stemmed from the fact you were from a pretty well known family, and walked around campus with a completely blank face and only had a few friends that could crack your exterior
-People generally avoided you bc they weren’t sure whether they could even talk to you without being glared at or ur family would come for them
-It was a bit sad really,,, bc u weren’t that scary lmao
-You just wanted to pass college with good grades and you never went out on nights out or anything, you weren’t against it you just didn’t find it interesting,,,, much the opposite to your friends who LOVED going out, you let them get on with it and they respected your decision as well
-You weren’t even sure if Bang Chan was a real person or just a campus urban myth bc u had never seen him before
-No matter how many times ur friends tried to drag you to the local underground rap scene bc “OMG Y/N 3RACHA IS PERFORMING TONIGHT AND YOU NEED TO SEE THEM OMG!!p”£!” (this is one thing they always tried to drag you to bc they knew you would love the music)
-You never went because you would much rather be studying
-I mean, you were a law student and had many case studies and mock trials to study and prepare for so you didn’t have much free time
-And whilst you loved music, you had your life sorted out and you intended to graduate college this year with a 1st class honours so you could get your dream internship with a famous law firm
-Please Y/N you need to come out and see 3racha with us because their music is right up your alley musically 
-I… really can’t I have a mock trial coming up next week and I need to do well
-Promise me one day you’ll come with us
-Pinky promise, I’ll try and come to the next one if I can
-I’ll be holding you to that I will rip your law textbooks out of your hand and throw them out of the window
-SANA WHAT THE HELL
-A n y w a y
-You could be found most days at the library with a stack of law books and a highlighter in your hand, whilst you sipped coffee
-Little did you know that would be the day you finally encountered the urban myth that was Bang Chan
-At first you didn’t realise that he was stood opposite your table
-“Hi-uh there’s no other seats in the library apart from here….. is it okay if I sit on your table?”
-You startle out of the passage explain corporate law and look up to see Chan
-His silver hair was all curled and quite frankly a mess, his eyes wide and alert with extremely dark bags under them and his hand curled protectively around a large coffee
-You just nod, moving your materials closer to you so he could have some more space
-You heard him sigh in relief and slump in the chair opposite you, taking his laptop out of his bag alongside a notebook covered in stickers with bits of paper sticking out of it
- You rolled your eyes, thinking he was one of those students who procrastinated until the last week before his exam, and put your head back to your textbook, fully intending to ignore the boy opposite you
-You were surprised, however, to find that he was being quiet and just working on,,,,, whatever he was doing
-Most people who came to sat at your table were normally very distracting (constantly talking loudly on the phone, eating, sighing heavily and twirling pens u know the ones)
-It was quite a pleasant change from what you were used to and you settled down to finish your textbook chapter
-It was about an hour later, when you were taking a break, when Chan asked you a question
-He coughed and you looked up at him from your phone
-You noticed that he had a pair of very professional looking headphones around his neck and you couldn’t help but notice just how his eyes were sparkling
-“I’m going to grab a coffee and I was just wondering if you wanted one?”
-Oh what’s this
-Someone offering to buy you coffee,,, this has literally never happened before??
-“Oh um,,, only if you want to I mean it’d be really nice if you did law is killing me you know hahah but you really dont have to” you spluttered out
-“It’s no problem! You probably need a pick me up because I know I do, just keep an eye on my stuff yeah?” he replied before walking off to what you presumed the campus coffee shop
-You blinked a few times before trying to get back to your work, deeming your break to be over
-However you were kinda still a bit shocked that the cute boy opposite you offered to get you a coffee????
-Deciding that work wasn’t going to happen, you glanced over at the work he had left out
-You saw that the bits of paper you noticed earlier were scattered around his laptop and from what you could see, they appeared to have music notes and lyrics scattered across them
-A music major?? But why would a music major need a laptop??
-You thought about reading one of the lyrics sheets before realising that come on Y/N that’s someone’s work they probably don’t want a complete stranger to look at them
-You were still staring when the cute boy came back
-“One coffee for you, I wasn’t sure what you liked so I got you an Americano?? I hope that’s okay?” he told you, handing you a cup
-“Americano is fine with me, it’s what I had earlier in fact! Thanks uh—”
-“Chan, my name is Chan. Or Chris. More often Chan to be honest. You’re welcome, but it’s only fair I get your name as well”
-“Y/N. Only Y/N.” you smiled at him which he returned
-And that’s when you saw his dimples
-They were extremely deep and, quite frankly, adorable
-Your eyes trailed Chan as he sat in his seat, slipping the headphones back over his ears and picking up a piece of paper
-You snapped your eyes back to your textbook, trying to focus back on corporate law whilst nursing your coffee with both hands
-It was a torturous 2 hours before you decided that you couldn’t take it anymore
-Chan kept distracting you
-Not that he meant to, you just found him to be extremely distracting
-y/n STOP YOU ONLY MET HIM TODAY
-As you began to pack your highlighters away you saw Chan slip off his headphones and unplug them from his laptop
-Great
-“Are you heading out?”
-“Oh uh yeah”
-“Cool same, wanna walk out together?”
-“Sure!” you replied a little too enthusiastically, internally groaning at yourself
-Chan, unbeknownst to you, found this extremely adorable and as he was packing his stuff away he snuck glances at you and saw the tips of your ears tinted red
-He smiled to himself as he swung his backpack over his shoulders, waiting for you pack your stuff away
-You,,,, were struggling
-Not only was Chan being extremely nice to you, you happened to have brought a lot of textbooks with you which seemed like a good idea when you came
-But walking back to ur dorm,,,,, seemed extremely bad
-You were balancing the last book onto the pile you were carrying when Chan popped up over the top of them
-And,,, without asking just grabbed a few of them and carried them for you, flashing his smile at you
-y/n ? y/n? oh my god they’re dead
-“You ready?”
-And that kids, is how one of the campus heartthrobs carried stone Y/N’s law books from the library to your dorm
-Safe to say the library, the campus, the world had stopped breathing as they saw the two of you walk across campus to the dorms chatting quite animatedly
-It turned out you and chan had very similar taste in music and he was just telling you about the project he was working on at the moment as you walked up the stairs to your dorm (the lift was broken,,, again)
-He offered to carry the rest of your books as you struggled to find your keys and balance the books as well
-You shook your head, finally grabbing your keys and unlocking the door
-Your roommate was unfortunately in and screamed your name when it DIED in their throat as their eyes lay upon Chan stepping in and following you to your desk
-“You can just put them there thanks so much Chan, you really didn’t have to”
-“I know” he smiled “you needed help though so I decided to”
-“I appreciate a lot” you smiled back (ur roommate was watching this with WIDE EYES and pulled out their phone to spam the gc bc hello chan was in your room and talking with you, also how could anyone think you were stone like bc you were blushing like MAD and ur roomie was cackling)
-“Anyway, I’ll see you round Y/N?”
-“Sure thing, I’m normally at the library in that same spot just hit me up there”
-Chan went to go leave before turning round and you looked at him questioningly
-“Can I get your number?”
-UR ROOMIE NEARLY SCREAMED AT THAT POINT AND SO DID YOU
-“Oh uh sure…”
-On the inside you were dying hello y/n ??? you there???
-Chan smiled and pulled his phone out, giving it to you
-You plugged ur number into his phone and u were blushing crazily rn
-Chan grinned at this, his dimples showing themselves and ur roomie was PLOTTING, typing furiously on their phone
-When you handed his phone back to him, Chan smiled at you before waving goodbye and leaving
-When the door shut ur roomie THREW THEMSELVES AT YOU THROWING QUESTIONS ABOUT WHY HAD BANG CHAN WALKED YOU HOME WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK Y/N U BETTER HAVE ANSWERS
-Ur roomie kept bombarding you with questions but you could only focus on one thing
-Bang Chan?? The Chan you met and had walked you across campus was the Bang Chan???
-“That was Bang Chan?!”
-Your roomie sighed heavily and was like YES U IDIOT THAT WAS THE BANG CHAN
-You flopped onto your bed wondering how this was your life when ur phone pinged with a message
-You groaned, taking it out eyes widening when u saw it was a message from Chan
-You opened it up, quickly saving the number to your phone before reading the message
-[from: XXX-XXXXX-XX] hi it’s me Chan! I remembered the song I was trying to tell you about earlier! Hope you enjoy
-Your roomie was enjoying this, watching u suffer and tapping a reply to Chan
-Giggling, they updated the group chat with a plan to get you and Chan together
-Luckily,,, one of ur other friends was friends with Felix as they were on the same course so they messaged him
-Felix replied almost instantly,,,, for Chan had just gotten back and was gushing about someone he met at the library
-All of a sudden,,, the mission to get the two of you together was formed in a separate 
-You were completely oblivious to this as you were too busy listening to the song and sending ur thoughts to 
-From that day on you and Chan texted quite frequently, normally sending each other music
-Occasionally he would send you some of the stuff he was working on, asking for ur advice
-Which you gave happily
-The two of you even arranged to meet up and study, taking it turns to buy coffee for each other
-It was all quite,,, sweet really
-However,,,, the two of you were toeing the line between friends and something more yet neither of you made the first step
-Which frustrated ur friends, chan’s friends, the entire campus at this point
-Just as the group chat was screaming to come up with a better plan
-Chan had invited you to a 3racha gig at the local underground bar
-You were a bit hesitant to reply when u saw that message,, u were never seen at these kinds of things and u didn’t want the campus to talk even more
-(ur friends were dying bc they were like Y/N PLEASE NO ONE IS GOING TO CARE THEY ALREADY KNOW,,,, yet but what if-  NO IFS)
-Chan sensed your hesitation over text and told you that you really didn’t have to go if you didn’t want to, he wasn’t pressuring you to go but the invite was there if you wanted it
-You replied with tons of smiley faces and hearts in apology
-He giggled in his apartment, but Felix noted the sad look in his eyes
-TIME FOR FELIX TO SPAM THE GC TO GET UR FRIENDS TO CONVINCE YOU TO GO
-Unfortunately,, you were quite stubborn about not going
-They eventually gave up after 2 weeks, knowing they shouldn’t push you anymore
-It wasn’t until your friends came round to ur dorm the night of the gig to get ready together
-You were sat on ur bed,,, mulling it over in your head
-What if I really did go?? Would anyone care?
-Bc honestly,,,, you wanted to go
-You wanted to see Chan perform in his element bc of the stuff he sent you,,,, you really enjoyed it
-You breathed in heavily
-“Guys,,,, I’ll go”
-“REALLY” “BABE IT’S TIME TO GET YOU LOOKING SMOKING FOR UR FIRST OFFICIAL NIGHT OUT” “WOOOO Y/N”
-You laughed, letting your friends pull u to ur feet and throwing clothes at you
-You were laughing all the way to the underground bar, decked in ur hottest clothes (according to sana) and looking extremely attractive (agreed by all of ur friends)
-When u entered the bar, you got slightly nervous bc u hadn’t told chan you were going to be there and u didn’t know how to act at this kind of place
-Sana grabbed your hand, leading you to a spot near the exit but still having a clear shot of the performance area
-Yugyeom, Mina, Bambam and Momo came back to your table, bearing hands full with different drinks
-You were a little overwhelmed, settling for the coke Mark passed to you wordlessly (he knew you didn’t like to drink that much, especially not in public)
-The six of you were chatting about your days, just happy to hang out all together when the lights went down and a few girls in the back screamed
-A heavy beat kicked in and a spotlight appeared on a figure you couldn’t recognise
-When all of a sudden, they began rapping and your jaw dropped as you realised it was Chan
-His voice was smooth and pleasant to listen to as he switched from rap to vocal, your jaw dropping as you couldn’t believe it was the same Chan who buys you coffee
-You were shocked to say the least
-Two more rappers joined in during the performance but quite honestly, your eyes kept being drawn to chan
-It wasn’t until, a few songs later, that one of the other rappers approached your table during Chan’s rap part
-“Hey hyung, what about them?”
-Chan turned and his eyes widened in recognition
-“Them? They’re really pretty” sending a wink at you before continuing his rap
-Safe to say your friends, and Chan’s friends (who were near you) ALL cheered and wolf-whistled whilst you had your head buried in your heads, blush overtaking your entire face
-Chan spared another look at you and saw how cute you looked all embarrassed UWU
-The rest of the gig continued and you still weren’t over how Chan had called you really pretty
-Sana kept glancing between you and Chan, noticing that the two of you kept looking at each other and she was like,,,, it’s time
-The gig had finished and people began to filter out
- But not you and the conspiracy group
-They convinced you to stay and Chan,,,, was overjoyed
-He approached you and all of a sudden ur friends had disappeared,,,, wow thnx guys xxx
-He slid into the chair opposite you and placed his hands on the table nervously
-“Um,, I didn’t think you’d actually be here wow”
-“I didn’t think I would be here either,,, but then I realised, I really wanted to see you”
-“Me?”
-“Yes,,,, I uh,,, really like you Chan”
-QUEUE CHAN BLUSHING BC WOW EVEN THOUGH HE CALLED YOU PRETTY EARLIER HE WANTED TO BE THE ONE TO ASK YOU OUT TONIGHT BUT HE COULDN’T HELP BUT LOVE HOW STRAIGHTFORWARD YOU WERE
-“Wow…… me too Y/N. I’ve been trying for weeks to try and ask you out you know” he laughed awkwardly
-You couldn’t help but giggle, reaching for his hands
-Chan smiled, intertwining his fingers with yours marvelling at how well they fit together
-“Say,, fancy ditching this lot and grab a movie at my place” you asked wickedly, sending a glance to your friends who were all watching with baited breath
-“Sounds good to me” he grinned back, standing up and pulling you at the bar to the sound of your friends wolf-whistling and Jisung groaning that he was going to have pack all the equipment whilst Changbin laughed at him
-DATING CHAN:
-It’s a dream
-He’s an actual perfect boyfriend and treated you with respect and you hadn’t been happier
-So sure, the campus body was extremely shocked to see the two of you walk around holding hands and occasionally kissing each other on the cheek
-But they LOVED it
-Stone Y/N suddenly lost their nickname,, becoming more known as Chan’s partner but still maintaining your cool demeanour bc hello,,,, u studied law and u knew things
-ANYWAY
-Chan would try and take you on dates quite often, ranging from a simple picnic on campus to a fancy dinner at a high end restaurant you were sure he couldn’t afford but still paid for it all anyway, despite ur constant protests that you could pay
-One day you planned a surprise date and bought him a new microphone (after much discussion with changbin about which one to go) he tried to refuse it, but you told him you threw the receipt away because you wanted to treat him
-(Chan refuses to admit that he cried when he went back to the dorm, but felix has photographic evidence to prove otherwise)
-He made up for it by writing a song for you and performing it at a 3racha gig which made you cry, the fangirls cry,,,, some even say that Changbin cried but he would dispute this reverently
-That’s one thing you do more often,, you go out a lot more and you try to go to every 3racha gig in order to support ur mans
-You were becoming a lot more open,, which one drunken night Sana was sobbing in your arms about how proud she was of you coming out of your shell because of Chan and if he ever broke your heart she would break something of his
-You had laughed at this,,, with wet eyes bc u were slightly emotional bc of what she said, reassuring you that if chan was going to break your heart you were very capable of breaking that very same part
-Dating Chan meant that you also became the official parent alongside Chan of all of his kids
-Felix took an immediate liking to you, sticking to you like glue whenever you all hung out together
-It was very cute tbh,,,, until they learnt that you were the infamous stone Y/N and ur family was extremely rich
-Chan snapped at the boys when they asked if you could treat them to expense bbq one day and they were all extremely sheepish after that
-You didn’t mind,,, u didn’t mind treating the boys bc you knew they wouldn’t try and manipulate you for it (hint: like some of ur first “friends” when u first got to college and Sana dragged Momo over to scare them away from you as they saw you constantly paying for everything… rumour has it that they still run away if they see momo at any place)
-You had to drag Chan away from them to calm him down
-He just didn’t want anyone to take advantage of you again,,,, he had nearly cried when you had told him why you were so closed off and didn’t have many friends
-You stroked the back of his hands and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, reassuring him that it was fine
-When you went back to the boys,, they all apologised to you and you ruffled Felix’s hair lovingly
-Chan’s hand tightened around yours, and you shot him a look before announcing that it was your turn to pay for the family meal this time and dragged them all to a bbq place
-You and Chan were feeding each other at the table, much to the disgust of Seungmin and Hyunjin
-You just stuck your tongue out at them, feeding Chan another bit of chicken
-When you went to go pay the bill, all 9 of them tried to pay instead but you swatted them off brandishing your card at them before handing it to the cashier
- Who was very confused, accepting the card with a very concerned look on their face
-Like how was 1 person going to pay for a table of 10 when they had nearly eaten their entire kitchen
-Their face was a little shocked when the transaction went through and they handed the card back to you whilst the rest of the boys looked on awed
-“Now boys,,, that’s your quota for the month” you beamed at them, strutting out of the restaurant
-You just became their favourite person, but also most feared person in the world
-You also spent a lot of time with Chan in the recording studio,, especially coming up towards the end of 3rd year as Chan was super stressed about his final composition piece
-You were stressed as well bc you had an important trial coming up right at the end,,, and whilst you were stressed, you knew you were going to be okay bc you had studied all your materials for a while
-Seeing Chan screw up his 100th piece of paper one night whilst you were studying at his dorm, you put your notes down and went over to his desk where he was sat with his head in his hands
-You soothingly rubbed his shoulders, whispering sweet nothings into his ears
-Without warning, he spun around in his chair and you realised his eyes were glazed over hazily
-His hands rested on your waist, and you instinctively melted into his touch
-Your lips met and before you knew it, he had picked you up and placed you onto his bed, lips grazing over your jawline and neck in butterfly kisses occasionally stopping to leave a mark on your neck
-Well,,, one thing led to another and u were just glad Felix hadn’t come back as you snuggled up to Chan, hand resting over his chest
-Felix came back the next day, throwing Chan’s t-shirt at him before walking straight back out
-You were very confused, burying deeper into the sheets as Chan pulled you closer pressing a kiss to your forehead
-You and Chan were honestly the campus sweethearts, you weren’t always together but you bet your chemistry notes that he would leave a sticky note on your file before you went to a mock trial
- Chan found you extremely attractive in your suit and you were nearly late the morning of your last mock trial lmao
-You were just very supportive of each other as well as your friends
-Like you never failed to turn up to Felix’s musicals together, even after you had both graduated
-Chan accompanied you to Sana, Mina and Momo’s dance recitals and you went to all of Seungmin’s baseball games even if he wasn’t playing
-You became known as the campus parents tbh
-Just a very wholesome couple
-When the two of you, along with Woojin, and a few others graduated that year, you bet that your friendship group all turned up and had massive banners with your names on, hollering when you got called up
-They also threw a massive party at the pub that 3racha frequented (the owner let them rent it out for free) and you all ended up crying by the end of the day, you comforting a sobbing Jeongin whilst Chan was hugging Felix
-Oh,,, after you graduated Chan took you to Australia to meet his family for the summer before you started your internship and he took aesthetic photos of you all the time
-You literally had to wrestle his phone out of his hand before you got spammed by the 8 boys who kept getting these photos of you sent in their gc
-Ugh you’re just two extremely loving parents of about 17 kids and you wouldn’t change it for the world, you thought that last day altogether at bar
ahhh wow thank you again for 100 followers and next up on the college aus is.... *drum rolls* WOOJIN
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katzuyas · 6 years
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as usual, I’m a terrible procrastinator (this time with good reason tho bc I’ve been dying bc of renovations for a good 4 months now jfc) but I found some time to finally do these so here’s the super longass chain of tags I’m very grateful for ❤️ thank you so much to all of you for thinking of me!! ❤️❤️❤️
tagged by @and-then-yoi-happened, @joeys-piano and @gabzjones -- thank you so much guys ❤️
📽 🎞 Post 10 gifs from your favorite movies without naming them and then tag 10 (or so) people. 📽 🎞 
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I had more trouble with this than I thought I would omg it seems I don’t like all that many movies??? unless we want to count each hp and potc movie separately  😂😂
I’ll be tagging @story-kat, @sweet-vitya, @estellie, @ilarual, and @katsudonski for it, but feel free to ignore me if you don’t want to do it ^u^)b
tagged by @story-kat, thank you for the tag kat!
fall/autumn preferences
rules: bold what you prefer and tag 10 people
1. go apple picking vs go on a hay ride 2. scary vs. sweet 3. sweaters vs. boots 4. socks vs. mittens 5. bonfires vs. football 6. trick-or-treating vs. watch scary movies 9. bake pie vs. bake cookies 10. rain vs. fog 11. black cats vs. owls 12. ghosts vs. wizards 13. harry potter vs. halloweentown 14. go hiking vs. sleep in 15. cinnamon vs. nutmeg 16. reading vs. writing 17. hot chocolate vs. tea  18. live in a cabin in a forest vs. have it be fall 24/7 19. candy apples vs. caramel apples 20. blankets vs. pillows 21. roasted marshmallows vs. roasted chestnuts 22. coffee vs. apple cider  23. red leaves vs. orange leaves 24. braids vs. bows 25. scented candles vs. the smell of fresh baked goods 26. carve pumpkins vs. make pumpkin pie (neither is my thing tbqh) 27. pumpkin spice lattes vs. chai tea lattes 28. coats vs. oversized sweaters 29. beanies vs. berets  30. candy corn vs. peanut butter cups 31. s'mores vs. apple crisp 32. jump in a pile of leaves vs. swing on a tire 33. corn maze vs. haunted house (very much neither) 34. bob for apples vs. visit a pumpkin patch 35. whipped cream on hot chocolate vs. marshmallows on hot chocolate
I haven’t seen this one before so this was fun, thank you!
tagging @and-then-yoi-happened, @inlovewithyoi, @victuuritrash, @atesan, and @phichitschulanont
tagged by @dreaming-fireflies, thank you so much!! ❤️
Rules: answer the questions and tag 15 people you want to know better.
1) Relationship status: dating a really adorable boy ;3c
2) Lipstick or chapstick: chapstick bc lipstick always eats away so ugly and I can’t be bothered to reapply every time I lick my lips
3) three favourite foods: chicken fried rice, pepperoni pizza, pad thai
4) song stuck in your head: thunder and lightning by serayah
5) last movie you watched: jurassic world fallen kingdom
6) top three shows: game of thrones, rein, suits
7) book I am currently reading: nothing bc I’m just stuck to my pc writing all the time ;u;
8) last thing i googled: the link to the song above
9) time: 3:51 PM
10) dream trip: japan *u* but also harry potter studio tour bc first fandom always sticks with you *u*
11) anything you want: to be done with renovations, finally, and to deal with my teaching practice asap so I can go back to writing yrdcyhvgb
I won’t be tagging anyone for this, but it was still fun to do so if anyone wants to as well, feel yourself tagged!
tagged by @louciferish, and twice by @gabzjones omg gabz thank you ilu and I’m sorry I’m such a flake trfxcvujbkn /)u(\
7 Sentences
The rules are as follows: go to page 7 of your WIP, go to the 7th line, share 7 sentences, and tag 7 more writer-bloggers to continue the challenge.
Slowly, as if all his motion settings have been reset, Yuuri turns around. And Victor, the blessed man that he is, gives him a little polite smile that freezes Yuuri's brain and sets his heart on fire all in the span of one second.
Fuck, Yuuri thinks to himself again. Oh fuck.
"Hello," Victor says, a perfect smile on his perfect face that sits on his perfect head on his perfect neck on his perfect shoulders and his perfect chest and his–
"Hi," Phichit replies, a smile on his own face, too. "It's amazing to meet you. We're both big fans, but I guess everyone tells you that."
bc I’ve done nothing but write my victuri bang fic for about a month now, that’s what this is from! look forward to it in october ;3
I’ll tag the writers my mind instantly thought of, so @dreaming-fireflies, @belovedyuuri, @teekettle, @the-world-of-illyas-james, @kazul9, @stammiviktor, and @iwritebetterthanispeak!
tagged by @the-world-of-illyas-james, thank you!!
Ao3 Tag Game 
WHAT IS YOUR TOTAL WORD COUNT ON AO3?
920344, which tbh I’m sure will go up after I post this bang fic I’m working on so??? kinda excited to hit 1mil ngl 
HOW OFTEN DO YOU WRITE?
I definitely try to write every day but sometimes life gets too busy so I usually keep it to short headcanons and plot bunnies then but I will definitely get at least one to two sentences out there daily ^u^)b
DO YOU HAVE A ROUTINE FOR WRITING?
sure do! I love setting up a scented candle to get the mood going, turn on some music or ambience and pop open an energy drink while I keep some sweets on hand to get my sugar levels up high. it works perfectly for me!
WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE KINKS/TROPES/PAIRING?
Kinks: oh boy... I’m very into soft and sensual, but hard voyeuristic frick frack involving fluffy tail buttplugs and pet play? count me tf in ;3c Tropes: soulmates, rivals, enemies to lovers, creature fic, hanahaki, Pairings: victuuri, the one and only 🙏
DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE FIC OF YOURS?
it’s definitely dazzle me with gold! but since it’s my fic with most kudos, I will talk about my second fav here, which is oh ye of so little faith, a miyusawa fic that I wrote for a bang once upon a time and which I put my very heart and soul into, and love to pieces even tho it’s been years
YOUR FIC WITH THE MOST KUDOS?
dazzle me with gold, my magnum opus, which I couldn’t be more proud of bc it’s all I love in a fic: historical setting, drama, werewolves, mystery and so much love it’s sickening ❤️
ANYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING?
not really? tho recently I hate that I can’t seem to write short things anymore 😂😂😂
NOW SOMETHING YOU DO LIKE (ABOUT YOUR WRITING)?
I think I’m fairly good at grasping the characters I’m writing, and I know for sure that my soft/sweet/floof levels are running VERY high, so I’m definitely proud of that!
I’ll tag @gabzjones, @louciferish, @saniika, @postingpebbles, @muttthecowcatridesagain, @yuliaplisetskaya, and @joeys-piano! 😘
tagged by @teekettle, thank you tati! ❤️
Favorite Character Tag Game 
Rules: name your top 10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms and then tag 10 people.
victor nikiforov
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miyuki kazuya
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hinata shouyou
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aomine daiki
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giotto
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voldemort
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hakuryuu
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uzumaki naruto (and his daddy bc I’m baking two pies in one oven and I need my best hubby here FOR REASONS)
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portgas d. ace
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grimmjow jaggerjack
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wow this got me so nostalgic for my lovely boys ❤️ I’m going to send @story-kat, @tetsya, @littorella, @accioharo, and @hentipie down the memory lane next, have fun~ 😘
hooo boy this was a lot to get through but it was fun! thanks again to everyone who tagged me, you guys rock and I’m a dick for procrastinating on this so hard I’m sowwie  (╥﹏╥)  I’m blessed to have such lovely friends like you, so once again: thank you for remembering about me (≧◡≦) ❤️
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coxinyoface · 6 years
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i usually don’t do this but it’s 4am, i’m cramping/anemic/generally in pain and out of it, i’m procrastinating, and it’s been like. probably 2 years since the last time i did one of these? so why not since i have new followers after my acpc obsession! (the reason why not is... i write too much, sorry. a couple others have tagged me recently with similar questions and i stopped myself but hey i’ll let it go this time and try to be social)
i’m not sure who else to tag. i see the top three ppl i recognize often in my notifications lately are @lonelylittlewarlock @betumbledpolaritis @lavender-aquarius so how ‘bout you guys? feel free to ignore if you’re not up for it tho
anyway:
Get to know me tag! got tagged by @sundaycrossing and @lilcasshole
Nickname: on this account most people just call me CIYF and that’s fine. i haven’t had a proper nickname in a long time and i try to keep this acc separate because. coxinyoface is not the best name to reference offline or with work/art stuff lmao. 
Gender: nonbinary. they/them preferred.
Starsign: taurus.
Height: 5′3″/1.6m-ish? i’m short and fat and friendshaped i like to think.
Hogwarts house: ravenclaw or hufflepuff. when i was little i’d insist ravenclaw bc i’m a nerd who tried to persuade themselves they like school, but i’m likely hufflepuff bc i try too hard n am painfully stupidly loyal. idk. hp house discourse frustrates me.
Favorite animal: this changes frequently bc birds but today... potoo. potoos are often my favorite bc they could be my fuckin fursona and i relate deeply.
Favorite color: grey. stormy grey i think.
Current favorite song: зын зын by jokeasses. i found this through a random video of someone dancing in nosferatu drag to it months ago (thanks internet) and it’s still stuck. i keep switching between looping this, boogie by brockhampton, or yellow ferrari by mystery skulls. i can loop the same song for 10+ hours at a time. i do this bc i can have up to 5 songs stuck in my head at the same time and this somewhat cures that. it’s bad.
Ways to get creative: well. listening to music until my brain melts is one way. it’s easy to get creative but difficult to be productive, so i’d say just. trying to really really enjoy an activity, whether it’s reading, watching, or playing something, and trying to hold onto that feeling when i work on something. and then 4am binges of researching random shit that i can use to inspire myself later.
What do you do when you’re home alone: i’m either on tumblr, watching youtube, reading fanfic, or working on work art or art prints. acpc became a thing bc of lack of sleep and bird cult aesthetic n distraction. i’m currently stuck in a fic cycle of interest, it switches a lot. current fandom is HP (again) but i’ve gone into fic hell for naruto, opm, mcu, fucking anything that makes me hate myself. but then, i’ve also been reading a lot of bnha and some of that shit is actually so healthy and wholesome i cried. i want to get back into anime.
Average hours of sleep: hooo boy. it used to be 2 hours, consecutively, with maybe 4 total a day, while in college. i’m trying to fix that and i think i’m getting 3 hours consecutively and 5-6 total? i was doing great at some point last year and was somehow getting 5 consecutive hours up to 8 but. well. sleep’s a bitch and i have sleep paralysis and insomnia. today i managed to sleep maybe 5 consecutive and 15 total holy shit because i dreamed i had a heart attack and was dying and believed it (bc sleep paralysis)! in reality it was anemia fuckin me up today thanks google  
Cats or dogs?: cats. sorry dogs, i love you but you have too much energy. besides i feel like cat people are dogs and dog people are cats, and i’ve worked very hard to earn my cats love so i’m loyal now lmao
Numbers of blankets you sleep with: i’m going to say pillows instead, because i live in a warm area and blankets are the mortal enemy. so--four. one to make sure i don’t smash into the wall, one for my head that i will never use as i slowly rotate like a flailing turtle on its back, one for my legs to make sure i don’t kick, and one to hug so i don’t punch.
Dream job: honestly my standards are so damn low i’d probably do any digital illustration/graphic design art job that (1)pays decently for my area where (2)the clients weren’t from hell and (3)i could work from home. like. i used to have specifics like ~concept art~ and shit but i had a good couple of work months (before some very bad ones) where one really good nonprofit client made me realize i genuinely don’t give a fuck what i do so long as it genuinely helps someone/somepeople and also helps me exist.
Dream trip: i. don’t actually want to travel much. tbh, i did japan, korea, and the philippines in one week somehow, and it killed my interest in traveling due to over-planning. if i could go back in time and do it again, maybe i’d spend more time chilling in japan? i just want lipton milk tea in those lil cartons. why can’t they make those here. and omurice. and katsu. and... ok i’d travel to japan again just for food fuck it.
Sexuality: It’s Complicated but for simplification, grey ace. i say aro-ace but go back and forth using that label because it’s useful but i can’t tell if i’m aro or just too anxious to function bc i feel like i’m somehow tricking people if they like me, and have no idea what i find attractive in the weird range of people i’ve been attracted to or to what degree i am attracted. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tbh, QPRs seem way more appealing to me because i’m just that kinda grey gay. none of this matters unless i maintain a healthier lifestyle that isn’t a hot mess or somehow get the fuck over myself tho. idk one day i’ll be more socially active again.
When did you make this account?: shit, like... 6 years ago i think? oof. a lot changes over six years. if i wasn’t lazy i’d make a new shitpost account so i could pretend to forget what an ass i was but i can’t even separate most of my interests by blog.
Number of followers: 3,050, around. it hovers back and forth due to i assume bots and ppl getting very confused. those of u here for youtubes, thanks for sticking around all these years and i’m sorry; those of u here for acpc, i’m sorry and hope you enjoy me being really mad abt acpc. i have no idea how accurate follower count really is, though; apparently my highest activity was back in 2015 and i had less than 2k then i think? fuck if i understand tumblr
anyway if you’ve somehow read through all of that thanks for listening to the ramblings of a madman hopped up on pain at 6am you’re a champ and this random online stranger loves you and wishes you a good day
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hearttoshu · 6 years
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A Tag ^~^
MY BEAUTIFUL BBS THAT I LOVE SO MUCH TAGGED ME AND THEY’RE SO BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL AND I LOVE THEM OK MAKING SURE YOU KNOW @violin-and-schoolwork and @sofiafabulousphan
(Also I sense long answers because procrastination let’s go)
LAST Drink: As a very healthy 17 year old, I mixed hot cocoa mix and coffee so... Phone Call: I face-timed my friend :D  Text Message: A bb I also love so much @vinerlover on kkt Song you listened to: Thanks by Seventeen (though I was singing Adore U and making everyone regret having the sense of audition) Time you cried: Probably in the next few hours bc I have lots of tests and I don’t feel ready but I can’t really blame anyone but myself and all I do is complain :D but I guess this morning during second period during psychology again because stress from tests and stuff (I’M A MESS I’M SORRY)
HAVE YOU EVER Dated Someone Twice: Yes.... Been cheated on: No Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope Lost someone special: In what sense? If it’s a friend I guess not, because I just grew apart from people, in like they passed on, I’ll keep that to myself I suppose Been Depressed: idk if what i have is depression, but I’ve been told to consider talking to someone idk  Been Drunk and Thrown Up: d r i n k w a t e r (or coffee)
IN THE PAST HAVE YOU Made a new friend: Ye Fallen out of Love: idk if I’ve ever been in love (besides with s h u a)? I’d like to say I had my first love already but at the same time I don’t think it was. Just gonna default to no Laughed until you cried: of course Met someone who changed you: I believe so Found out who your true friends are: It always surprises me that I have friends so yes of course
GENERAL How many people on Tumblr do you know in real life?: even though I don’t interact with them, three of my friends follow me on tumblr, two of my friends don’t have a tumblr but know my URLs, and some of my other friends have heard about the existence of my tumblrs so idk maybe five XD?  Do you have any pets?: I have two turtles that I love Do you want to change your name?: Yea, Jessie is nice and all but people always spell it incorrectly and some people like misgendering my name (bc it’s also a boy name and I got made fun for it so no me gusta), hence why I go by Jess nowadays though no one at school calls me that What time did you wake up today: 6:22am aka I leave for chamber choir at 6:48am rip What were you doing last night: my brother’s science fair project :((( Have you ever talked to someone named Tom: No..../ What’s getting on your nerves right now: nothing right now...? I mean people keep insisting I should do something special on Thursday but I really just want to go home after school and be depressed and cry but no one wants to let me do that i n p e a c e Blood type: idk yikes Nickname: Jess, Bessie (don’t ask) Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Pronouns: She/Her Favorite Show: Going Seventeen and W College: I wanna go to UC Davis but I’ll be lucky if any colleges accept me Hair Color: used to be an ugly af blackish muddy gray brown, but I dyed it so it’s a brownish red now ^~^ Do you have a crush on someone: //ahem// Joshua (b u t i f y o u d i d n ‘ t k n o w t h a t w h e r e h a v e y o u b e e n) What do you think of yourself: an awful person who also happens to be head-over-heels in love with an angel (do I have to say who that is or does everyone know)
FIRST First Surgery: didn’t have one ever I guess First Piercing: ears :D  First sport you joined: badminton but not any official team so idk First Vacation: Reno or China idk too young to remember First pair of sneakers: sneakers... I guess
RIGHT NOW Eating: dinner Drinking: nothing rn but maybe milk in a bit I’m about to: attempt to study for my physics test LMAO Listening to: nothing rn cuz test Want kids: the more I think about it, no Get married: I’d love to but who’d want to dig themselves into a ditch by doing that Career: does sleep deprived student count
WHICH IS BETTER Lips or eyes: going to say eyes, (though if we’re talking Shua, I’m going to say both oops >~<) Hugs or kisses: I want to say kisses but I also want hugs Shorter or taller: taller (sorry bad experiences previously XD) Older or younger: after reading the developmental psych chapter I’m going to say both as long as it’s reasonable Romantic Or Spontaneous: both please Sensitive Or Loud: both, I’ve learned that I’m not very confrontational in a relationship or otherwise so I hope whoever has to deal with me is sensitive enough to know something’s up but also loud enough to call me out on my bs Hook up Or relationship: d e p e n d s, I’m no good at emotional attachments I don’t think Trouble or hesitant: both, but tbh I’m enough trouble as is
HAVE YOU EVER Kissed A Stranger: no Drank hard liquor: d r i n k w a t e r (no ofc not) Lost contacts or Glasses: no Sex on the first date: no Broken someone Heart: I hope I haven’t Been Arrested: no Turned someone down: once? tbh I’m always in that weird one-sided crush thing ok... Fallen for a friend: it would have been easier if I had
DO YOU BELIEVE In yourself: lmao in what parallel universe would I do that Miracles: I first typed no to this question but like I made so many friends and got by in life without jumping off a cliff so far so I’m going to have to say yes Love at first sight: e v e r y p a r t o f m y p o o r h o p e l e s s r o m a n t i c s e l f i s s c r e a m i n g y e s but I know in a practical sense probably not
going to tag @malikani @bloatedboo (hehe spam the bb) @jetaimeyoongi (bc she tolerates me for some reason) @myheartismayonaise @kryshel1458 @hallo-wen-junhui and @vinerlover (though pretty sure y’all already got tagged so just ignore this if you have ^~^)
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studyessie · 7 years
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The back to school season has always been my (only) favorite part of school. 
However, since starting high school, not being given a list makes it slightly harder to prepare for the coming school year. That's why I've devised a list of things to do in order to prepare for the school year!
 o   L I S T S !
I know I know, starting off a list with lists? My favorite thing to do is make my supply and clothing list! I understand that not everyone buys clothes for the school year so go ahead and ignore this if you want but making a supply list is always helpful! I usually start by examining my classes and deciding how I want to stay organized in that class. For example, I might buy a binder for my bio class but a simple folder for my college 101 class or a grid notebook for my statistics course.
+ I usually like making a clothing list bc if I don't I'll go crazy (don't take me shopping)
o   S L E E P
I won't dwell on this one because, well I'm sure you've been told this many times and no one actually follows it anyways (I don't even follow it soooo). But yea, try to sleep earlier if you want even if it's just ten minutes difference (or just stay up watching Suspicious Partner and Bride of the Water God like me).
o   S C H E D U L E
If you're in college this might be more applicable to you but I would basically just look at your school schedule and figure out what time you have to wake up early and around what times you can leave and go back to campus. If you're in high school, middle school, or even elementary (but like if you are what are you doing on tumblr?) school then I  would say know where your classrooms are and how to get there from each class and whatnot.
o   C L U B S / A C T I V I T I E S / S P O R T S
Make sure you know what activities you want to sign up for and keep an eye out on what season during the school year they begin in. Also make time for it in your schedule and decide if it's really necessary for you to take (if you really enjoy it and want to be in it). It's not good to be involved in so many things either as it does take up your time!
o   S U M M E R  A S S I G N M E N T S
Make sure you have that summer reading and whatever other assignments done as well! Take this from someone who is a master in the art of procrastination: it's not fun reading an ENTIRE book and write an essay in two days!
That's pretty much it! I really love the back to school season and getting ready for school (of course a few weeks in I'm already dreading it tho). I hope this was of help to anyone reading it. I really want my study blog to be a helpful page for anyone who seeks it. If you have any requests or questions, please send them in! I'm happy to answer them :)
-studyessie
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thesixthstar · 6 years
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tbh only mildly related i think im hitting a point of burnout that i really need to avoid.
I just have so many things going on and im only adding more bc i do that to distract myself so i can keep procrastinating on the irons i already have in the fire and now i have One Million and im not keeping up so like
PSA i guess about if we talk i may not be able to keep up with maintaining social stuff rn i may try to vanish off of tumblr for a while or i may not bc tumblr is an activity thats not draining emotionally speaking.
I think i need to stop trying to show up to fighter practice for a good long while, maybe legit alternate weeks of showin up to sca vs blues on tuesdays, and respond to a few messages i have on read at length but with an ending note of “oh my god life keeps happening i may vanish for a lil while”
I’m not gonna stop showing up to fnw but i may stop giving rides every week bc that lonely car ride might be a good thing for my brain 
tonight im gonna ignore like all my messages, and get my geo hw done as well as my north india rythm hw done. tomorrow after work i might call my dad bc i have to ask him to look for some paperwork but more important is to finish my ling hw with time for sleep.
ive also gotta kick my own ass into eating enough and at the right times again.
luckily my work has healthy af lunches so i dont have to pour too much energy into changing the contents of what im eating cause i dont have healthy food habits. so i’ll eat work lunch more often to force myself into eating healthy without having to make the choice of what healthy thing to eat or make the effort in preparing it. that also cuts down effort and makes me more ok with eating garbage at other times, which makes it more likely that i’ll eat enough and at the right times, and also cuts down on effort. 
ok. i didnt intend for this post to turn into a game plan but here we are. 
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gayghosttt · 6 years
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I wanna hear your answers to your questions thingie ☺️
Thank you I am avoiding studying for 3 finals rn lmao
1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal, I do not like milk at all it makes me feel sick Every time lmao
2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Y e s I love being cold
3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? mm usually a sticky note
4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don’t really like tea but I usually have some kind of cold coffee or with cream and 2 sugar if its hot
5: are you self-conscious of your smile?  mmm kind of yes
6: do you keep plants? I don’t currently have any but I love having them
7: do you name your plants?  yes!!
8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? currently more words than visual art
9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? sometimes, I mostly do it in my head though
10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?  I almost always sleep on my left side but I sometimes sleep on my right side or back
11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? long boy, CRACKS PANTS, What if i was Straight
12: what's your favorite planet? mm I actually don’t know a whole lot about any of them but I think neptune is Very pretty
13: what's something that made you smile today? my friend paige and I sent each other christmas cards and I got hers in the mail today!!
14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? there would be his nerdy video game stuff Everywhere and my books and movies everywhere and a little bit of glitter on everything lmao
15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it is quiet Everywhere in space
16: what's your favorite pasta dish? lasagna is the actual love of my life
17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?  BLUE OR DARK PURPLE
18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I do alot of dumb things lmao but last semester when I lived in a residence hall with my friends i was always shouting IM GAY down the hallway or kicking my leg up high to put it on the window ledge
19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I am very forgetful so I never keep a journal or sketchbook consistently 
20: what's your favorite eye color? brown
21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don’t really have a bag that’s lasted a super long time but my little blue makeup bag used to be my sister’s and I’ve been using it since high school 
22: are you a morning person? If I’ve slept enough then yes but when I have classes at 8 am,, no
23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?  sleep in and watch movies
24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? mmm probably Steven? He knows most of them already
25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? THE CHURCH PARKING LOT WE GOT LOCKED INTO TOGETHER AT NIGHT
26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I rotate between like 3 pairs but I have some beat up black high tops I’ve had since high school that I love
27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? usually just minty gum
28: sunrise or sunset?  sunset
29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? steven calls me everytime he’s driving home from school and we always say I love you before hanging up its gay and i love him v much
30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes a few times
31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. okay I get judged for it alot but I wear socks 24/7 I have Too many socks and theyre all cute and yes I wear socks to bed and I wear them all the fricking time I am uncomfy being barefoot
32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Nothing recently but last semester I used to stay up until like 4 am with alot of my friends watching movies and one time like 10 of us watched star wars and had snacks and had a big cuddle pile sleepover on the floor
33: what's your fave pastry? chocolate croissants 
34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? mm I have a bunch still bc alot of them were given to me by someone sepcial/ for special reasons and one of my favorites is a pink bear with a dodgers hat that was from my dad when I was a kid
35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I do! If I have stationary I’ll use it to send people mail
36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? currently I’m listening to lana del rey and its fitting
37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?  I am an organized messy person so I am like half and half
38: tell us about your pet peeves! when people invite themselves over/ just show up without asking, opening doors without knocking, chewing with your mouth open
39: what color do you wear the most? black
40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I have a black ring I wear everyday that was from my sister and it makes me think of her since we don’t currently live in the same house while im at college
41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? How to remodel a man by w. bruce cameron, I found it at the library and got it just bc it sounded like a funny title and it was genuinely the funniest book I’ve ever read I loved it 
42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Either 85 degrees down the street from me bc its really cute and the chocolate bread there is Amazing or coffee bean in my city cause it has a v nice atmosphere and the baristas all know my sister so they’re really friendly
43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I have no idea actually
44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? ???????????
45: do you trust your instincts a lot?  I try to
46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.  earlier Aaron and I were roasting Morrissey and I said that when moz cancels shows/doesnt show up bc he’s sick its like he just sneezes once and then he’s like,,, oh my god am I,,, Still Ill
47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?  tuna
48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? I don’t really remember tbh
49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes!! last record was the Uni single release and its clear and v cool and the last cd was a paul mccartney one i think 
50: what's an odd thing you collect? pins mostly
51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I associate alot of music with a lot of people but one song that reminds me of you is little queenie by sad girl
52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?  the one of the white guy making a confused face is maybe my fav
53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? rocky and heathers and beetlejuice yes and I love them all v much, I watched pulp fiction once at like 3 am and i slept through alot of it by accident so I cannot give an accurate opinion
54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my sister
55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? im not sure but my middle name is dramatic So
56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when they genuinely want to know about how your day was, when they remember something you said a long time ago, when they bring you something out of the blue because they know you like it
57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? yes alsways it is one of the best songs ever
58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?  I don’t currently have a solid Group of friends but between us I would say you are probably wine mom and i am vodka aunt lmao
59: what's your favorite myth? I love a lot but rn I love the loch ness monster 
60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yes but currently none are coming to mind lmao
61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? sometimes I give steven glitter bc i love it and he Hates it lmao but I’m not sure if I’ve ever really gotten a stupid gift?
62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope, usually just water
63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? organized, not necessarily alphabetical or anything but I like things by the same author or artist to be together 
64: what color is the sky where you are right now? black
65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? alot of my high school and college pals
66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? mmm probably a lot of dark red roses and little white flowers
67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? kinda depends but usually I like them
68: what's winter like where you live? usually cold and kinda rainy but lately its still in the 80s and hot
69: what are your favorite board games? bingo always
70: have you ever used a ouija board? no and I Maybe would??
71: what's your favorite kind of tea? not super into tea but i don’t mind green tea
72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?  v much so
73: what are some of your worst habits? procrastinating, leaving water bottles on the floor, ignoring instructions 
74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they have brown hair and glasses and really pretty eyes and live in another country and are so sweet and remind me of a little fox
75: tell us about your pets! I don’t have any but my siblings both have fish and barry is my fav little guppy even though he’s a rude drama queen
76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? studying for my finals
77: pink or yellow lemonade? both but I like pink alot
78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? h a t e
79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? one of my friends used to make me mixtape cds alot
80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? at college they’re just white bc its a dorm but at home they’re blue and my dad and I painted them secretly one summer lmao
81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. looks like the inside of a blue gelpen
82: are/were you good in school? I try to be, I’ve always had a hard time in math and science classes but I’m good with artsy and english classes
83: what's some of your favorite album art? I have,,, to many to pick from
84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? currently no? I’m very indecisive so I’m not sure what I would get bc I would want it to have a special meaning
85: do you read comics? what are your faves? not really but I wouldn’t mind
86: do you like concept albums? which ones? probably alot but ziggy stardust and sgt pepper come to mind first
87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? eraserhead, big fish, and casablanca
88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? mmm yes probably alot but rn I really like zines
89: are you close to your parents? my dad yes my mom is very up and down
90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I really love the Manhattan Beach area it’s always made me really happy since I was a kid something about it just always feels welcoming and familiar to me
91: where do you plan on traveling this year? not sure
92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? depends on the pasta but generally I like alot of cheese
93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? It’s always the same fluffy messy curly besides when I put it up in a little ponytail sometimes
94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my friend tori from high school
95: what are your plans for this weekend? going back home and Finally sleeping alot
96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? it usually takes me about a week to finally stop being lazy and do them
97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? I think I was ensj or insj or something like that last time i checked, I’m a gemini and I have no idea about my hogwarts house lmao
98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? probably a few years ago and it was pretty okay
99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. there are a Lot but lust for life by the band girls always reminds me of myself and i’m listening to flatsound rn and alot of his music hits me hard bc I feel like that alot
100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? as much as I would like to have things back from my past I would probably say future, I’d like to skip ahead a bit to when some things have changed and are hopefully better
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gryffvndors · 7 years
Text
connect the dots [sirius black]
summary: it’s YOUR chair. regardless of the fact that you found him sleeping there, for merlin’s sake, it’s yours. neither he, nor james seems to understand that. remus is an accidental wingman, lily is there to help, and peter just wants everybody to be friends.
word count: ~2200
a/n: (thats pretty fuckin ironic peter pettigrew u stupid swine) ANYWAY KIDS WHATS UP I LOVE ALL THE MARAUDERS EQUALLY???? but i have an especially soft spot for sirius and remus and james.... hmm.... (especially ben barnes as sirius and andrew garfield as remus but shhh) anyway ik i have a shit ton of requests to do but here i am, master procrastinator, back with more procrastination works! i had an impulse okay. y’all should be thanking me for this insight on snogging sirius black bc i know i’m thanking myself tonight
The seat by fire in the Gryffindor common room has always been yours. You’ve never sat anywhere else - you like that seat most of all. It’s nearest the bookshelf, the fire, and it’s the comfiest chair in the entire common room.
And it’s occupied.
You stand before it, scowling, arms crossed. Sirius Black is… sleeping in your chair, a blanket draped haphazardly across his body. He’s even snoring a little.
(It’s very soft, but he is still snoring regardless. You wish there was some way to capture this and hold the memory over his head. Sirius Black, snoring?! How dreadful!)
Somebody clears their throat behind you. You turn around. James Potter stands with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, the rest of Sirius Black’s little… friend group. James is smirking, hands stuffed into his pockets. Remus is smiling behind his hand, and Peter is just outright beaming, rocking back and forth on his feet.
“What are you looking for?” Grins James. He nods to the sleeping boy. “Isn’t he adorable? I love the face he makes while he’s sleeping, don’t you?”
You don’t say anything. You maintain eye contact with James for another half minute. In that half a minute, he doesn’t look away, doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t even blink. Remus has to wave a hand in front of your faces before you break the contact.
“Sorry, I was just thinking of ways to get my chair back,” you jab a finger at their friend, “from this monstrous parasite. Sneaking in the middle of night, falling asleep-”
“He didn’t mean to,” Remus sighs, moving forward towards his friend. “He was trying to study with me-”
“Moony, let him sleep,” James chuckles. He glances at you again. “He’s just so tired. Hasn’t slept in weeks. Terrible nightmares, that one.”
You falter, but give in a second later, rolling your eyes. “Fine, fine. I will let him sleep. But,” you point to each of them, including Sirius, “if he is not awake by the time I get back from the library, I will have his head. That threat goes for anyone who gets in my way.” With that, you storm away from them, huffing.
Peter calls after you, “Well… it is a common room chair, right?”
You ignore him and push open the Fat Lady’s portrait.
There’s a certain appeal to the boys, you guess, turning the page of your book. You aren’t reading the book; on the contrary, you’re watching their group from across the common room. When you returned, you found your chair empty. Sirius and his friends were nowhere to be found. You settled in, grabbing a random book off the shelf and cracking it open. Now, after a couple hours of peaceful silence, they’re back.
The appeal is small. James and Sirius are both similar, in the fact that they’re both insufferable. When you see James doing something annoying, the latter is usually by his side. Remus is sweet. You’ve spoken with him by himself more than once. You don’t mind Remus, especially if he’s away from the heathens he calls friends. You don’t really talk to Peter much; he’s… not shy, really, just… uninterested in you. You don’t care. The only person you’d want to talk to is Remus, anyway.
Too bad they’re all heading in your direction. James is grinning, Sirius smirking in a kind of way that, on a normal day, leaves every girl in his path shaking and yearning for more. He’s quite the ladies’ man, if you recall correctly. All your friends find him mouth-watering.
You close the book at their arrival. “Yes?” You say, frowning. Sirius steps forward, running a hand through his hair.
“So James was telling me how you were watching me sleep here earlier.”
You flush. “That’s a - James Potter. That is a lie. I was not watching you sleep, for Merlin’s sake-”
“I don’t know, that’s what I caught you doing, I think,” James laughs, pushing his glasses further up his nose. “I walked out and here she is, standing in front of you, just watching. Right, Peter, Remus?”
“Right,” Peter says. You look at Remus. He meets your gaze and, with an apologetic smile, nods.
Sirius shrugs. “I mean, I didn’t think you were the type to be so forward. If you fancy me, all you have to do is let me know.”
You turn even darker. “I do not fancy you! I was trying to decide whether or not to wake you up!”
He is rather attractive, you guess. He has nice hair, and he’s tall. Not as tall as James, but James is gangly, all long limbs. He isn’t scrawny, like Remus is a little bit. Nor is he shorter and stouter, like Peter. He has a rather nice body.
“I think she’s checking you out, mate, look-” James stage-whispers in Sirius’ ear. Sirius laughs and turns around, muttering something low to his friend. You can’t make it out. Instead, you get up, off the chair.
“I am l-leaving,” you scowl, setting the book down. “Take the stupid, bloody chair. It smells like you, anyway. You tainted it,” you knock into Sirius as you walk by, dropping your head so you stare at the floor.
James calls behind you, “Where are you going?”
“We’re just giving you a hard time, we’re just teasing-” Sirius groans. “Come back!”
You choose not to, instead going up the stairs and entering the girls’ dormitory, where you’re sure they cannot follow.
When you come out again, the only person in the common room is Remus. He is sitting at a table, writing what you can only assume is Slughorn’s potions essay due the following week. You look at him, wary. He looks up and looks at you, too.
“Are you going to make fun of me?” You ask.
Remus laughs, “Are you going to give me a reason to?”
“...No. I suppose not,” you sit in your chair, tucking your legs underneath your body. “What are you doing?”
Remus holds up his parchment, sighing. “Slughorn’s essay.”
“Thought so. It’s rough. Took me a full three hours to understand the concept,” you lean back and stretch, yawning as you do so.
“You understand it? I cannot get a single grasp on what we are supposed to write about,” he frowns. Then Remus glances above you, tilting his head up. You twist your body to look. Sirius Black himself is descending the staircase, cracking his knuckles. You chew on your lip, trying to decide whether to leave or stay. As soon as he sees you, he does a double take and grins.
“Hey, Moony. Hey, you,” he winks, turning to his friend. “D’you reckon you can give me a hand with the essay, mate? I don’t get what we’re supposed to write.”
Remus smiles. He nods to you. “I don’t, either. But she does.”
Your eyes widen. Not Remus! No, you trusted him! What a good thing that turned out to be.
Remus seems to sense your irritation and signals screaming ‘TRAITOR!’. He rises from his seat, motioning to it. “I have something to attend to. Will you help Padfoot with his essay? Please?”
Sirius looks at you and sends the same puppy-dog look Remus is giving. They’re both extraordinarily good, you admit begrudgingly. You scowl, crossing your arms over your chest.
“I don’t know why I am about to do this, but sure, fine.”
“Thank you!”
“I might not fail Slughorn’s class!” Sirius whoops, high-fiving Remus. While the latter gathers up his supplies, you get up and head for the stairs. “Wait, where are you going?”
“To get my notes so I don’t mess this up,” you explain, ascending the staircase. You make for your dorm room and grab your notes from your bag. When you get back to the common room, Remus is gone and Sirius is sitting in your chair. You arch a brow. “Up.”
He shoots you an innocent expression. “What? Why?”
“I’m helping you with your essay, Sirius, at least let me sit-”
“But it’s so comfortable here,” he smirks. “If you really want to, you could always sit on my lap.”
“I want a comfortable seat, Black,” you deadpan.
Sirius shrugs. “Your choice. My lap, or you can pull up a chair.”
Alright. If he isn’t going to get up, you might as well take him up on the offer. You know he isn’t expecting you to say yes. Therefore, the best plan of action is to agree and make him uncomfortable.
“Okay. I’ll sit on your lap.”
The smirk fades away for a second. He stammers out a, “Wh-what?”
“Hey, you offered. I don’t want to pull up a chair.”
The same sly look is back after that. He nods, stretching out. “Right, right. A lady like you deserves the best seat in the house, after all.”
If blushing could be prevented, you would’ve seemed totally cool and at ease. Contrarily, blushing is inevitable. So, with reddened cheeks, you climbed onto his lap, your body fitting in between his… rather well, actually. You end up not actually sitting on his lap, but in between his legs. You’re small enough to where he can rest his chin on the top of your head. Therefore, of course, he does.
“Okay…” you gather your notes together and take a deep breath, attempting to un-fluster yourself.
Sirius chuckles. You feel his body move behind you, shifting to help you fit better. “Nervous?” He moves so his mouth is right next to your ears. “There’s no need to be nervous. You’re just showing me… potions notes.”
“I hate you,” you whisper, face hot.
“What was that?”
“I said I hate you-”
“Do you?” Sirius moves his mouth closer to your ear. His breath hitting your skin causes bumps to raise along your arms, which you try to remove by pulling your long sleeves over your hands. “Do you hate me? I don’t hate you.”
“Sirius-”
“In fact, I rather like you. I think you’re very attractive.”
“Sirius,” you breathe, tilting your neck to the side. His hands move from his sides to your arms, sliding along the length of them to land on your shoulders. “What are you doing? I’m supposed to be showing you these notes-”
He chuckles again. His lips are so close to your body you shiver involuntarily. “If you actually wanted to study, would we be in this position?”
“I actually sat here to prove a point, but-” you’re interrupted by the feeling of his lips on your neck. You arch your back and tilt your neck more, letting out a sharp exhale while doing so. “Merlin-”
“That’s not my name, babe.”
You glare, rolling your eyes. “You are completely insufferable.”
He only hums, kissing your neck again. One hand goes to tangle in your hair, the other wraps around your stomach to push your back into his hard chest. You sigh. What harm will come to this? Sure, he’s annoying and arrogant and completely terrible, but he’s also extremely attractive. And if he claims to like you, then you can’t really complain about this. It feels good. And the common room is empty aside from you two, so why the hell not?
You pull away, twisting your body so you’re facing him. He pushes his legs together, forcing you to straddle his body. You put one knee on either side of him and lower yourself onto his lap, for real this time. Sirius is grinning back at you, an arm behind his head.
“You’re hot,” he says.
You raise an eyebrow. “I’m hot? You’re the attractive one.”
“I know that much. Reckoned you should know, too,” he bites his lip and lowers his gaze to yours. “Are you gonna kiss me, or am I going to have to come to you?”
In answer to his question, you lean forward and press your mouths together. His touch immediately travels to your ass, cupping it to propel you forward. You breathe out as one hand explores the length of your body. Your fingers tangle in his long hair, lips moving against his slightly chapped ones. To your surprise, he doesn’t add tongue for a good few minutes. When he does, it’s only slightly, like he’s waiting for your approval.
Snorting, you give it, tangling it with his. Sirius lets out a small pleasing sound, deepening the kiss and leaning forward so much your back arches more than it’s probably supposed to.
If you’re being honest, you’ve snogged enough to know how to breathe during the kiss so you don’t have to break away. He, apparently, has as well; you don’t have to break away until you hear somebody clear their throat behind you.
You pull away and look over your shoulder. James is standing with his girlfriend, Lily, Remus, and Peter.
“I didn’t expect you to get this far,” Remus laughs, shaking his head.
James chuckles, wrapping an arm around Lily’s waist. “Having fun?”
Sirius grabs a pillow off the ground and chucks it at the crowd. “Get out of here, mate! I’m busy!”
You roll your eyes and turn back to Sirius. You whisper, “If we keep kissing, they’ll leave eventually.”
“I like that idea,” he replies just as soft, closing the gap between you two. Behind you, you hear a series of groans and an exaggerated, ‘eurgh!’
“Let’s leave them alone,” Lily giggles, followed by footsteps. You continue kissing until you hear the portrait swing shut. Then you break away and rest your forehead against his.
“Should we start on the potions assignment?” You ask.
Sirius shakes his head. “Nah, we still have another week. Here, let’s keep doing this…” And with that, he tangles a hand in your hair and continues sucking on your lip.
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