#if you’ve read this far send me an ask and I’ll draw you something lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

missgabs05 · 7 months

Note

OMG! Hi Gabby, are you ok? (If you don't mind me asking)

Omg Sam, hi! 💕 I don’t mind you asking at all, I’ve missed talking to you so much, and I hope you’ve been doing great! :D <3 If you, or anyone else who is reading this for that matter, ever want to talk, then please, feel free to send me a dm :D I’m sorry for suddenly becoming inactive on here and leaving without explanation :( Sometimes when things just get too hard for me, I can’t even bring myself to talk or interact with people, both irl or online, so I just end up leaving, usually intending to take a small break, but I actually just end up staying away for several months without saying anything :( especially when I’m taking a break from drawing and I don’t have anything to post. I literally did the exact same thing like 3 years ago on Instagram and I have not talked to most of my friends on there since 😭😭😭💔 I keep letting them know that I’ll be active again soon, but since I’ve been taking a break from working on art and stuff, it’s really hard to find motivation to go on there when I have nothing new to post :’( Which sucks, because I really miss talking to all my friends there😭😭😭💔 (God, I really need to start being active on all my social media accounts again lol I don’t have very many but still lmao)

As for how I’ve been, I guess I’ve just been good :D I mean things can be kind of bad every now and again for my personal life but I’m graduating this year so things will most likely be a whole lot easier once I’m out of school, but even while I’m still in school everything is still pretty chill most of the time :D

But as for today, I’m sure you know what my new post is about :(((

And you know what, while I’m here, I might as well say what’s on my mind.

(LONG POST)

This is all just so mind-boggling.

I mean, I never really was a big fan of YandereDev, I was always more interested in his game and there were times where I was able to talk about it without bringing him up at all, just because he wasn’t relevant in whatever I was talking about.

I was neutral for a very long time, and I was, and still am, completely against people going out of their own way to harass him, trying to tell him how to make his game, send him pointless pictures/videos to waste his time, send him intense nsfw content, whether it be gore or something else, etc.

Because the way I see it, it’s completely pointless and time-wasting to focus on something you clearly do not like. And if you can’t talk about something you like without always bringing up the thing you hate about it, then chances are you’re just more interested in the thing you hate than the thing you “like.” And I would constantly see people who could not even talk about YanSim without mentioning how much they hated YandereDev. Specifying that you do not support him is one thing that I can understand, but constantly having to shit-talk him and his game at any given opportunity just got so old. (I may just be biased, however, because I just really hate having to read/see negative things, especially about my interests, just because it messes with me very mentally and emotionally.)

So in that case, I never interacted with hate posts, and I never tried to talk too much about any drama, especially because in most cases, drama is not really anyone else’s place to talk, since it involves other people and their opinions, experiences, feelings, etc.

I just wanted to focus on what I liked and share my interests with other people :) And at one point I truly hoped that everyone would leave him alone and let him work on his game, because up until this point, he hadn’t ever actually done anything extremely bad. (At least as far as I know, because even though there are so many videos about him and things he’s done I’ve never really watched any of them because like I said, I was just trying to avoid anything negative.)

I really enjoyed talking about the things and characters I liked, I had so many plans to make new art, concepts, and I even wanted to make art of my own takes on new uniforms, rooms, areas, and characters, just because that’s how much I loved this game. I made a lot of new friends because we both shared an interest over this game, and overall, I really just enjoyed being in this community. It made me so happy.

But I mean wow, he really fucked up. Sooo many people, volunteers, and workers have left. The development for the game was already incredibly slow, but this is just going to slow it down so much more. And what makes it so unbelievable to me, and to everyone else, is that none of us actually thought that he would stoop that low and do what he did. I actually thought that he knew better. I actually thought he was smarter. After all these years of people trying to take him down with false accusations, and with me believing that this would just be another example, I truly believed that he was not the person that so many people were falsely painting him out to be. (Because yes, all of those old accusations were not true.) But I was wrong. I was so wrong. I really really do feel so embarrassed that I actually believed that he was innocent all this time, but I mean, can you blame me? Like I said earlier, so many people made so many false claims about him, and they were never true. (As to my knowledge.) I remember he had even said that his house had been swatted before at least once, and that was what really made me believe that he truly was innocent, because I always thought that if he did actually have some gross stuff they would have found it right? I guess not. To be honest, I always just thought he was just this kinda weird dude with a weird sense of humor. I actually just thought that he only had very intense anger issues. (Which I still believe he does.) But we all know the truth now.

I’m so sorry to everyone who tried to tell me about his true self. I should have believed you.

I know I said that it’s not really my place to talk about drama, but as for this situation, all I can say to the victim is that: All of us who were in the fandom are so terribly sorry that that happened to you. Please take care of yourself and be safe.

And to YandereDev: I, and so many of us are all so unimaginably disappointed in you. I will say, however, that I am glad that you actually apologized, and took accountability to what you did wrong, but it doesn’t change and cannot change the fact that what’s happened, has happened. You are disgusting beyond belief, and you’ve let everyone down. The only thing I believe that you can do now is to just bow out gracefully. This is just something you cannot come back from.

I was surprisingly able to stay reserved throughout the day, despite hearing about everything literally just after I woke up, but just a few minutes ago I decided to check out some of my favorite YS YouTubers to see whatever input they currently had on the situation. Reuben W and Shinah Hoakin have already posted their goodbyes and have let everyone know that they are officially moving on. ReubenThePig080 has posted some information about the situation, but it doesn’t seem like he’s planning on leaving, or at least not yet. And Akira Shimizu hasn’t said anything about the situation yet, in fact I’m not even sure if she’s aware of it because it seems that she hasn’t been online on her YouTube channel for a few days now. Kubz Scouts hasn’t said anything either, but I know that he is eventually going to say something, and I am truthfully not prepared to hear what he has to say. And those are only a few YouTubers within hundreds who have been in this community. After seeing all of that, all of a sudden, all the realizations just hit me harder then I was ready for, and my emotions became uncontrollable. As ridiculous as it may sound, I just couldn’t help but break down into tears.

People who haven’t been fans of the game/in the fandom may not realize this, but everyone is so fucking shocked. This is like one big nightmare. None of us were expecting anything like this. None of us wanted something like this to happen. All any of us ever wanted was to have our cute little anime game full of our favorite characters and silly tropes. And now what’s going to happen? What’s going to happen to the story that has been being planned this entire time? What’s going to happen to all the characters that we’ve all grown to love over these several years? Especially the ones that only have a few sentences of personality? We were all so excited and prepared to see the characters develop and hear how the story would end. But now it just seems that all those years of work are going to fade into obscurity. This might really be the nail in the coffin. We are all so objectively heartbroken. My god, I still can’t believe this. I’ve been following the development of this game since I was young, and I’ve been trying to wait patiently all these years so that I could finally play the game. It can’t possibly end on a note as terrible as this. It just can’t.

At this point, my biggest hope for the future of this game is that YandereDev will just hand the game over to a different team, company, person, or anyone else that has more experience so that they can help take care of the much bigger responsibilities/problems that the game still currently has, and get this game completed. It would still be his game, kind of, but it would have new people in charge of it. It’s a slim chance, but maybe, just maybe if the game was under new control, some of the volunteers, artists, voice actors/actresses, etc. would be willing to lend their iconic talent and support to the game once again, since it would no longer in the hands of YandereDev. The game could also even be given better mechanics and models, it wouldn’t be so low-budget anymore, and it would most probably get competed much, much faster.

And who knows. Maybe with just enough luck, and by some crazy miracle, Yandere Simulator can be revived and be turned into a full, enjoyable, and successful game.

Like I said before, I’ve been taking a break from art for a while now, and I don’t plan on starting up again for a while, but when I do, I am still planning on making fanart of Yandere Simulator. Not only because it’s my art, and I get to draw whatever I want, but also because I should be allowed to continue drawing something if it helps me improve with my artwork. (Which Yandere Simulator has.) And I’m still so attached to the game’s characters, aesthetics, environments, etc. and I’m not sure how much longer I will be, but I still want to make art of the things I like. Also, just because I’m making fanart does not instantly mean that I’m supporting YandereDev. I haven’t given him any money ever in my life, and you don’t even give him any money when you play the game. (And I’ve never even had a chance to play the game anyway, and now, I may never get the chance.)

I know that it may seem as though I’ve been focusing more on the game then I have on the victim and what happened to her, and like I said, we all feel sorry and wish the best for her, but I believe that I and all the other fans of this game are allowed to grieve the very possible loss of something we were all so enthusiastic over, and something that was a big part of many of our lives.

Well, that’s all I have to say. Thank you to anyone who reads all of this I know it’s a lot lol

But I have to go now.

Stay safe everyone and take care ✌️<3

#Sorry no tldr for this one :(#I was gonna tag this properly #But I’m kind of scared to #So I’m just gonna leave it the way it is for now #Maybe later #Also sorry for the late reply :(#I was starting to reply to this after you had first sent it #But I decided that I needed more time to think about things #In fact I wrote most of this with my emotions still controlling me #I may have said some things that I may not agree with later #But I just can’t be bothered to check it right now #i’m so exhausted #but again thank you to anyone who had read this far :)#I have to go to bed now so gn zzz

1 note · View note

zoox-anthellae · 3 years

Text

so I just finished the taz grad finale

how did, uh, how did everyone like the ending?

#long blurb of my opinions in the tags #the adventure zone #taz graduation #mcelroys #I thought it was #interesting #listen I know what they tried to do and it. well it was what it was #I love the idea of them all going off and sailing away together #personally? I would have liked for them to just go off on their adventure immediately or next to immediately #I feel like it would have made for a better story #more cohesive more satisfying #just an overall more interesting end with room for folks to think about what may happen #without the clutter of. well. the other stuff.#like I get that they wanted to do things and give a fun funny successful to each character #I get that. I do.#but still #it just seemed... incomplete #like they had reasons why they did and didn’t do things that weren’t explained #idk I’m just rambling and a little bittersweet about the ending #if you’ve read this far send me an ask and I’ll draw you something lol

12 notes · View notes

mindninjax · 3 years

Text

The Way It Blooms

Pairing: Wakatoshi Ushijima x virgin!reader

Rating: M for the sex but it’s FLUFF

Warning: it’s fluffy smut, pure fluff.

Word Count: 3.4K

a/n: Do you remember the moment you fell in love with someone? The very first moment the two of you made love? This fic is kinda about that. Ushijima has quickly become one of my comfort characters as you will see in this soft ass shit.

This was used as inspiration and it’s beautiful. Also, you should listen to Get You by Daniel Caesar during the smut lol.

Dedicated to one @dymphnasprose for dropping so much Ushi content in my DMs and making me fall for him more and more and for this fucking adorable ass pet name that I will always use and associate with both you and Ushi. I love you babe!

Plucking the strings idly of your old acoustic guitar, you feel the familiar rush of calm wash over your body. You haven’t picked it up since your sophomore year of high school when you—embarrassingly— serenaded your boyfriend at the time with a dumb love song you wrote him after only dating for 3 months. It was Valentine’s day, you thought it’d be special. He broke up with you and called you “clingy”. And being the dramatic but valid—because that guy was a major asshole— teenager, you’d stopped playing.

As you got older, you’d forgotten about it, shifted your focus on getting into college, becoming a journalist like you’d planned. Something changed in you in the last few weeks though. You were braver, more confident, happier with who you were as a person.

It could be because the winter months were coming to an end, the sun was shining more, beating down into your dorm room and warming the cold dark depressing atmosphere you hidden yourself in for the past few months. Or it could be...him.

Your face heats up and you pluck a sour note on the guitar as his face fills your mind. Piercing moss green eyes gaze into your subconscious and make a home there. Your heart flutters when you think about his voice, the last words he said to you, “I’ll be back to you soon, don’t worry”, before it becomes heavy with yearning and you remember he’s across an ocean right now playing an intense volleyball match you’re sure his team will win.

Wakatoshi pulled the deepest emotions from you, the deepest and most forgotten portions of your personality, the ones you used to enjoy the most before society squeezed it from you. He admired your creativity, and his blunt comments or questions always caught you by surprise, in a good way.

“God, I wish I could go up on stage and sing like that!” you’d said one date night while watching a woman perform karaoke.

“Why can’t you?” Toshi asked in a deadpan voice as he stroked the back of your hand. You blinked at him, not able to give him a clear reason of why you couldn’t go up on stage. It’d just felt natural to say, like you weren’t supposed to go. By the end of the night, you were on stage laughing and singing, full of joy as you watched him clap along to the music and his eyes followed you around on stage. It was the happiest you’d been in a while, and it was one the first few dates you’d gone on with him.

You strum a few chords, humming to yourself as you get caught up in the music. You’d forgotten how calming it was, how much strumming and humming helped you feel when you allowed yourself to just be you. It was strangely how you felt every single time you were around Wakatoshi, comfortable yet protected. You pick up your phone and check the time, an idea forming in your head. He’d be in the middle of the game right now so he won’t have his phone until it’s over.

You prop the phone up on a pillow with it facing you. Your face is bare with no makeup, your hair is a little messy from the wear and tear of the day and you were in the middle of getting ready for bed so you’re wearing an old cami and tiny shorts. You shrug, electing not to worry about your appearance, prop the guitar up on your leg, clear your throat, and press the record button on your phone.

You strum a simple tune, something that repeats where the beat can be easily kept. It’s a swaying melody, one that tiptoes up and down the score with light steps; like a soft lullaby intended to serenade and rock the listener into a dreamy slumber. You’re not nervous, you don’t worry about what anyone might think about you, you just close your eyes and think of Toshi and how much you miss him.

You focus on how much you want to feel his arms around you, how he makes your heart jump into your chest when his fingers lightly draw over your skin. You giggle when you think about his dry attempts at jokes just so he can see you smile and the way he will poke at where the dimple would be if you smiled when you're frowning. His own little silent gesture to say “smile little doe,” because he's not a man of many words.

You lose yourself in the melody, start to sing the words that sashay around your head and heart. You’re not sure if they make sense, or if they fit the tune, you only know you want him to know how you’re feeling and for some reason this feels like the perfect way to show him. You pour your heart into each word you sing, communicating in the most intimate way you know how to while he’s away, and it’s evident in the passionate way you float to each note.

Your voice wavers when you sing about how much you wish he was here with you, how much you want him to touch you and hold you and feel you, even going so far as to mention making love to him. You two haven’t been dating long a few months at most, and you’re astounded at just how much you crave him. Except that isn’t the word you want to use. The word you want to use scares you, so you’re hoping, praying that he will feel it when he hears this.

You end the song and stop the recording, softly and with purpose as if to solidify every feeling you’ve contained in this beautiful little song for him and before you become too afraid and erase it. No, he deserves to hear this song for him. A message in a bottle that you send across the ocean and with it, hope and comfort that there is someone out there in the world who understands him and sees him.

You type a quick message and attach the video quickly before you talk yourself out of it:

Toshi, here’s a little something to help you sleep! See you in two days! ❤️

You hit send and chew on your lip before tossing the phone aside and quickly finishing your night routine for bed.

“Get some rest Ushiwaka! You deserve it after the win you got us today!”

Wakatoshi waves off his teammates silently as he shuffles to his hotel room and pulls out the keycard. He sighs heavily when he hears the affirmative beep and the lock clicks. He’s exhausted, the long 5 set match finally done. The other team put up a great fight and he’s always appreciative of a team who has a fighting spirit, but he’s exhausted and hasn’t been able to see or hear from you all day. He collapses on his bed and digs through his bag for his phone. He turns it off before matches so he can keep his focus but he always sends a quick message to you before he does and he never turns it off until he gets a text back from you.

When the screen lights up and comes back alive he smiles to himself. It’s your face on his phone background. One that he took when you both visited the park near campus. You’d picked a huge sunflower and you were beaming. He’d had to move quickly and figure out how to open his camera to take it before you realized, but it came out stunning. You looked so happy, the dimple in your cheek deepening as you caught his love-filled gaze on you.

Your face smiles back at him on screen now and he frowns when he realizes how much he misses you. He wishes you were here with him. It’s very seldom that you aren’t at one of his games, cheering him on, watching his every movement, being his motivation. He plays harder when you’re watching, he wants to make you proud, although you’re always proud of him. But the way your eyes light up when he wins a match, how you jump on him and squeal when he leaves the court sweaty and still full of adrenaline from the match, makes the win all the more worth it.

Wakatoshi doesn’t know exactly what it is about you that he likes so much. He finds himself pondering it as he watches you do mundane tasks. When you twirl your pencil while you work on homework, the way you bite your cheek when you’re thinking of something, or the way you gravitate toward him when you’re sitting next to him, he finds it entertaining. He could watch you all day and never get bored, and that’s a first for him. It’s a first that anything other than volleyball has kept his attention and he’s not bothered by it.

He opens the message from you, swiping up to unlock his phone and his eyes grow a little wide when he sees you’ve sent him a video. He reads the message before getting up, grunting as he stands to go take a shower. If the video is to help him sleep, he figures he should get ready for bed before he watches, plus he likes the idea of your face being the last thing he sees before he drifts off to sleep.

When he’s showered and his muscles are relaxed and dripping from the shower, he pulls on his boxers, dries himself and climbs into the stiff hotel bed, wishing once again that he was climbing in next to you. He grabs his phone again as he lays on his back. He opens the message once again, smiling at your face—he misses so much—and plays the video.

The guitar strums surprise him, he didn’t know you could play guitar. It’s automatically soothing and he stores this fun fact in his brain, vowing to never forget it as it’s information on one of his favorite things. The tune you strum is simple yet beautiful, maybe because it’s you playing it or just that your fingers so meticulously strum the strings. He can tell this is your craft and you’re good at it.

He closes his eyes as he continues to listen to the repetitive melody and he’s immediately thankful that you sent him this. It will help him sleep and he can drift off knowing that even though you aren’t here, you’re still helping and supporting him from afar.

His eyes shoot open when you start to sing. Your voice is astounding. It is unlike anything Wakatoshi has ever heard before. It twinkles like a delicate little bell, rings loud and strong as the words continue and pierce his heart. It swirls, sways, rocks and swaddles him in all the love you project through these lyrics. Your voice is sweet, relieving, like ice cream on a very hot day after practice, and when you sing his name and about making love, he grunts in approval. It’s suddenly all he wants. His body, his heart aches for you and all he wants is to be with you again. When the song ends on a tender note, he plays the song again and again, hanging on every lilt of your voice and committing it to memory.

Right before he drifts off to sleep, he texts back a quick message to you, a vow he intends on keeping.

I am coming back to you soon little doe.

Your hair is brushed from your forehead and you sigh in contentment. You’re sure you're dreaming, it’s been the same recurring dream every night since Toshi has been gone. When you feel a hand cradle your face, your eyes shoot open to see him, sitting on the edge of your bed caressing your face in his large hand. Tears well in your eyes when you see him and you jump up to wrap your arms around his neck.

“Toshi!”

He pulls you into his lap and cradles your body against his. You can hear his gym bag slip from his shoulder and you peep over his shoulder to see his luggage in the corner of your room. His luggage. You pull back to look into his eyes.

“Toshi, did you come straight here when you got off the plane?” you ask looking concerned and trying to wipe the tears from your eyes. He’s faster than you, reaching a long finger out to catch a falling one and swipe it from your cheek.

“Yes. You don’t have to cry. It was no trouble,” The deep baritone rumbles his body and moves through you. It’s only been a few days since you two have seen each other, but his voice still sends a shiver up your spine whenever you hear it.

You shake your head in defiance, “Wakatoshi, you should’ve gone to your dorm. You need to rest,” you say furrowing your eyebrows and trying to be serious.

He stares at you with an intense stare and you’re momentarily worried. Wakatoshi has never looked at you this way before. This stare is usually intended for his teammates or a rival, when he’s serious and focused during a match.

“No. I needed to see you.”

You’re not sure what comes over you but his words ignite a fire in you and you kiss him, hard and passionate. Ever the prepared sportsman, he kisses you back matching your passion and groaning into your mouth. All the yearning the two of you shared over the last few days rushes out of you and into the kiss. It’s sloppy and you both have to pull back and catch your breath.

His hands fall to your hips as he pulls you closer against him. Your hands roam down his chest, up his broad shoulders and down his bulging back muscles. You breathe his name against his lips and he growls, picks you up and places you down on your back on the bed.

He crawls over you, fixating himself between your thighs. You’re both still clothed but the aching for each other is more than just the sex. You just want to be close to him, to feel him wrap his arms around you, to feel his lips against yours again. He bends down to your face and kisses you again. Softer this time, as if he’s afraid to hurt you or lose control. He kisses down your jaw, bites and sucks on your neck, marking you as his.

You hear him rumble into your neck, “Mine” before he bites down and makes another mark. You moan at the sensation and Wakatoshi momentarily stops to savor the sound. It’s almost as sweet as your lovely singing voice, and he’d give anything to hear you moan his name. You paw at the hem of his shirt as he continues to kiss your cheek and neck.

“I want to see you Toshi,” you whimper. He gazes into your eyes for a moment before removing his shirt and you marvel at his rippling muscles. He’s so big, his herculean frame always able to make your mouth water. He can see the pride of having him be yours in his eyes and he likes it.

He wants you to be proud to have him, the same way he’s proud to have you. He grabs the end of your shirt and slowly pulls it over your head. Large hands clumsily grasp the clasp of the bra He observes you like a work of art, committing every freckle and mole to memory.

“You’re beautiful,” he says and the way the word “beautiful” falls effortlessly from his lips when describing you makes your face grow hot. There’s nothing you want more than him, now. He removes his pants and underwear and slides yours down your legs as well. When you both are left staring at each other in awe, you pull him back down to kiss you again.

You can feel his engorged cock twitching against your thigh as he hovers on his elbows over you. It makes your breath catch in your throat, desperation escaping with your next exhale. He kisses down your chest, covering every inch of you with the sweetest embrace of his lips. He licks at your nipple, nips softly and when he hears you gasp he bites down a bit harder before licking to soothe the brisk pain.

Your heart beats faster with every kiss, this feeling inside of you overwhelms you and when you push your hips up to meet his, a silent plea, he pulls back to look at the exquisite fountain between your legs. He holds his weeping cock in one hand and for the first time you look at him nervously. Will it fit? What if it doesn’t? Will he still want to be with you? He reaches a large hand to caress your cheek and the tumbling storm in your chest calms with his sweet gesture. He stares into your eyes and that same intensity burns there, passionate and solicitous, like the sun.

“Don’t worry little doe, I’ll be gentle,” he says running a thumb over your cheek. The anxiety is gone instantly and you look at him with the utmost trust as he places the tip of his dick to your entrance. He rubs it against your slippery folds, slathering your slick over his copious length and preparing you for all his glory. You nod to him when he looks at you for permission to enter.

He pushes inside of you, moving slowly and passing the first ring of muscle. He grunts when the crown of his cock is sitting comfortably in your fluttering walls. You whimper as you become accustomed to how full you already feel. When your heaving chest slows down from the initial insertion, he continues to slide into you, hips moving closer to yours in a welcoming embrace. You stretch around him and it burns, but you clench as well, your body’s way of telling him not to stop.

When he’s fully sheathed inside of you he grunts and you moan in unadulterated pleasure. Your eyes are shut as you concentrate on how he feels inside of you. Despite the fullness and the stretch it doesn’t feel foreign as you expected. It feels like he belongs, like your body will mold to his because it knows it’s supposed to be him.

Little salty droplets bead at the corner of your eyes as you think about this, and when you open them Wakatoshi is staring with an unknown expression. The emotion, the love, grows inside of you like a sunflower reaching for the sun. It tumbles from your lips when he, while never severing your gaze, pulls his hips out ever so slightly and plunges back into you. A quick chaste “I love you” that you’re sure and are slightly thankful he doesn’t hear. The fear and insecurity bubbling and shielding the sun again.

You cry out instead, “Oh god Toshi!” He wraps his arms around your body, leaning his weight onto his arms to avoid putting it all on you but wanting to pull you closer to his body. Your arms wrap around his neck as he pulls out all the way and slowly plunges back inside you again, starting a slow sensual pace. He rocks his hips, latches his lips to your neck as you dig your hands into his hair and you lift your hips to feel more of him.

His pace quickens as he becomes lost in the passion of your warm velvety walls, what he assumes is heaven. You’re moaning his name over and over, tears now falling down your cheeks as your ecstasy creeps upon you. When you feel the coil inside you snap, you pull him closer, nails digging into his back as your thighs shake and wrap around his waist. You cry out again, no longer able to hold it in, “I love you! Toshi, I love you so much!”

The words tumble from your lips as his cum spills inside you and grunts your name loudly. He connects his lips with yours as the two of you ride out your orgasm together, as one. When you both come down from your high, he rubs his forehead against yours brushing his nose against yours before whispering in his deep baritone voice something you almost don’t make out. But when you do hear it, you wrap your arms around his neck again and hug him close, intent on never letting go.

“I love you, little doe.”

Thanks for Reading!!

tag list: @widow-nikki-smith @twicejynxed @love-lost-insecure-blog @hell-ninja13 @gabrann @hi-itsbonny @yunhosblackgf @animeboyscangetit @jessie9008 @halfsquat @4lfalfagarlic @memorieswithinmyeyes @chefakari @softiehawks @bnhathotty @irvingka @animemelanin @clever-username96 @kisskisskageyama @itsnotsoni @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @lettytheletdown @brithedemonspawn @minninugget @starrygoblin @simpingovereveryanimeguy @simpingmaize @nit-sir-hc @isseisbbg @flairlust @dabilove27 @mistressoflight @bakugousmymassa @answer-the-sirens

#ushijima x reader #ushjima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #Ushiwaka #marquie writes #this is sooooooo self indulgent #but listen to me when I say I fell head over heels in love with this man #people say he got a dry personality #i say I can see it ALL #I’ll give Ushi the loving he deserves

384 notes · View notes

alpacaparkaseok · 3 years

Text

The Passport

Requested by anon - a picture of your request will be at the bottom of the post! Enjoy! Thanks for requesting!

Pairing: Namjoon x reader

Premise: You embark on a memorable journey in an attempt to return Kim Namjoon’s passport. What lengths will you go to in order to return his passport on time?

Warnings: none, this is literal crackhead fluff lol. emphasis on the crackhead.

Word Count: 3.2k

It all started in the morning. You knew, leaving the house that morning with a skip in your step and the sun shining down on you, that something was off. Something was bound to go wrong.

It wasn’t until 11:30, sitting at brunch with some of your friends, that you caught your first whiff of trouble.

Literally.

Rebecca, one of your oldest friends, had insisted on pretending to be rich and fancy for a day. She’d dragged you and the rest of your friends to a penthouse-like restaurant, commanding you to wear your finest ‘casual wear’, whatever that was supposed to mean.

Long story short, you felt like some sort of avid golf fan in your skirt and blouse. Or maybe a polo fan, cheering on the magnificent horses and their riders.

You were so consumed in your menu and trying to find the cheapest thing they had to offer without looking like a fraud, that you hadn’t noticed the room falling into a quiet buzz of excitement. Hadn’t noticed any sort of change in the air.

Except your nose had.

You unconsciously scooted in closer to the table when out of your peripheral you saw a group of people making their way over to the empty tables nearest you. They shimmied behind you and the table opposite your own, making sure to not interrupt your dining experience. Then you smelled it.

The most wonderful, fresh cologne you’d ever smelled. The smell was light enough that it had you wondering for a moment if you had just imagined the hint of pine, but another sniff confirmed what your nostrils already knew.

Whoever had just entered the fancy, no-good for college budgets restaurant knew exactly what worked for them. And it was that cologne. Naturally, you glanced over to see just who it was that graced your nose with such a beautiful smell.

And that, it the precise moment that you learned that Kim Namjoon, leader of BTS and dimple extraordinaire, smells like roses and pine.

Oh, and the slightest hint of jasmine.

Now, the only problem with that knowledge is the fact that you will never be able to get it out of your head. No longer will Namjoon in blue jeans and a tucked in t-shirt be your greatest weakness, as it had been before. No, that’s ancient history as far as that tantalizing fragrance is concerned.

“Enjoying the view?” Rebecca croons from across the table, ripping your attention away from the man that just took his seat. From this angle, you have the perfect view of those dimples.

The rest of the brunch passes by with little to no incident. The only thing that keeps you from staring at the group that’s CD has a permanent residency in your car’s stereo is the fact that you know your friends will take matters into their own hands if they catch you. Rebecca will surely embarrass you, if only because you’ve done the same thing to her countless times.

Leticia to your right elbows you lightly, grinning. “You know, RM keeps looking over at you.”

Your eyes practically bulge out of their sockets. “It’s not nice to tease!”

“It’s true!” Bianca pipes up a bit too loudly. She covers her mouth, looking embarrassed. “I mean, it’s true!” She whisper shouts. “He can only go about thirty seconds without looking at you. Maybe he’s worried you’re going to choke or something.”

You roll your eyes. “Wow, how considerate of him.”

Munching on a lettuce wrap that costs about the same as your statistics textbook, you nearly choke on it as the group finishes their meal and begins to make their way out of the restaurant. You scoot your chair back in, cursing your reddened cheeks even as you prepare yourself for the onslaught of Namjoon’s cologne again.

“Excuse us,” Namjoon says, the sound of his voice enough to have you staring at Rebecca as though she’s a lifeline. If you can make it through this experience without passing out, you can surely accomplish anything.

“Have a good day!” Bianca chirps, smiling widely. Jung Hoseok - yeah, the sunshine of the world - smiles back.

“Thank you,” he replies. He glances over at you and then, to your eternal horror, he looks at Namjoon with a pointed stare.

“Er...” Namjoon stumbles over his words, looking like he would rather eat the tablecloth than have to say two words to you. You try to hide your disappointment, closing your mouth and opting for a pleasant smile.

It’s the wrong move, honestly. Now you’re stuck smelling in his cologne and wondering how it’s humanly possible for someone to smell so beautiful.

Namjoon fiddles with his sleeves before looking over to you, a lightning bolt jolting your senses at the sudden eye contact.

“You...you’re very pretty.”

In your own defense, your mouth is not the only one that drops open in shock. No, Bianca, Leticia, and Rebecca mirror your state of shock.

Bianca recovers all too quickly, playfully pushing your shoulder as she exclaims, “See! I told you he was staring!”

Fighting the urge to flee the scene, you plaster on your most nonchalant expression and turn back to Namjoon with pink cheeks. You’re relieved to see his own cheeks tinted pink.

“I- thank you!”

At this point all of the boys have paused in their exit, turning to look back at Namjoon with silly grins. Namjoon notices their attention, nodding his head to you and his eyes dropping to stare at the carpet.

“You’re welcome, haveaniceday,” Namjoon spits out, thrusting a napkin into your hands before before turning on his heel and making a beeline for the exit. He shoulders past the members who give him pats on the back and laugh a little at their leader’s shyness.

With one final look over his shoulder and an annoyed sigh at Jin who mumbles a teasing remark to him, Namjoon leaves.

You stare and stare at the exit, your brain short-circuiting as you replay your short exchange over and over again. In your hands sits the napkin - an actual, cloth napkin that is silky soft - marred (or perfected) by Namjoon’s scrawl.

It doesn’t say a single word. Just boasts his phone number.

“What,” you breathe out, still staring at the exit, “just happened?”

Your question seems to break the spell that had your friends mute, and suddenly all four of your burst out into giddy laughter.

“I have no idea,” Rebecca says through her giggles, “But I wish I had that on camera!”

Leticia is the one to notice it first. As the four of you get up to leave, she sees something laying on the seat where Namjoon sat. You know it’s where he sat, because you’ve burned the image into your mind.

You’ve also memorized his phone number. As has Bianca, who read it over your shoulder about seven times before sitting back down in her seat.

“It looks like they left something behind,” Leticia muses, wandering over to their abandoned table. “Oh, no way!” She bursts out into laughter, pointing down at the chair.

The rest of us scramble over just in time to see Leticia hoist the item up into the air.

It’s a passport.

Rebecca grabs your arm, looking at me with wide eyes. “This is a sign! I swear, it’s a sign!”

You frown at her, rubbing at the sore spot from where she’s grabbed a hold of you. “What do you mean? How is this a sign? Have you lost it?”

“No, I get what she’s saying!” Bianca shouts, drawing the attention of anyone that hasn't noticed the commotion yet. “He gave you his number, and now you have the perfect reason to text him! And see him again!”

You snort in disbelief even though your heart is nearly pounding out of your chest. “...right. Because people just leave their passports lying around as calling cards these days.”

Leticia flips through the passport, eyes widening at all of the stamps. “I mean...this is Kim Namjoon we’re talking about. Doesn’t he lose his passport all the time?”

“Exactly, so I-”

“So you need to return it to him,” Rebecca interrupts, smiling devilishly. “C’mon. Text him and tell him. He’s probably freaking out right now.”

You groan, but know that you should. Pulling your phone out, you ignore your friends’ cheers. “If I embarrass myself, so help me...”

You text him.

Or rather, you begin to type out some form of message before groaning and throwing your phone at Rebecca. Naturally, she grabs your phone and types out a message, sending it off before you can even get a look at it.

In your despair and agony (yes, you’re aware that you often overreact), you don’t realize what’s transpired until the girls are squealing over Namjoon’s response.

“Look, look!” Rebecca yells, thrusting your phone toward your face. “Isn't he so cute?!”

Kim Namjoon 😱😍: I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I left that there. Are you available tonight? We could meet up somewhere? Sorry again for the inconvenience.

You groan, snatching your phone back. “Ugh, you people. Can’t even function over a simple text.”

“Oh, you’re one to talk,” Leticia chides. “Weren’t you the one going on about how good he smells for the past thirty minutes?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You do.

Me: Sure, that’s fine!

Me: Where do you need me to go?

You’ve all piled into the back of Leticia’s car by the time Namjoon responds. What he says makes your jaw drop for the second time that day.

Kim Namjoon 😱😍: About that...do you know where the Grammy’s are being held tonight?

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?” Leticia asks, looking back at in through the rear view mirror. “What did he say?”

You furiously type out a response, heart rate picking up. “Umm...I forgot that the Grammy’s were happening tonight.”

Me: I think so...why?

“It sounds like he wants to meet there...?”

Kim Namjoon 😱😍: I’ll get you a backstage pass, if you’re alright with it. Some of the staff will be there to help you out, you can leave the passport with them.

Your heart sinks a little. “But it sounds like I’ll just be meeting with his staff. Makes sense, I guess. He’ll be busy and - what?”

Bianca and Rebecca are staring me down, and you can practically see the gears shifting in their minds.

“Why don’t we get you ready for this little rendezvous?” Bianca asks, rubbing her hands together like some evil villain.

“But I’m not even going to see him,” You protest. “And I’m just going backstage! Nobody is going to see me.”

“Doubt it,” Rebecca states. “He just doesn’t want to freak you out. He’ll be there. I’m sure of it. And when he sees you...”

“He’ll think I look ridiculous!” You shout, staring at your reflection in the mirror with disgust. “This is horrible.”

Indeed, the gaudy red dress was a bit too much. Even the consultant of the shop appeared inclined to agree with you.

“You’re right,” Leticia sighed. “Try on the next one.”

It hadn’t taken too much convincing to get you to go to the nearest dress store, you friends absolutely positive that you would see Namjoon tonight. When you did, he was sure to be dressed to the nine’s. You just didn’t want to look too out of place.

Casually formal.

If that’s a thing.

So far, it’s been a nightmare trying to find a suitable dress. Most have been bordering on junior prom vibes, however you try to cling to hope as you try on the next dress.

It’s a beautiful black dress with flowers stitched onto the lace overlay. The black slip falls to your knees, the overlay brushing against your calves.

When you exit the room, it’s easy to tell that this one is going to be the favorite. Especially once Rebecca chuckles under her breath.

“Oh, he’s gonna freak.”

One purchase and makeover later, you smile at your reflection in the mirror. You went for a more natural look, your hair falling in gentle curls and light makeup bringing out your eyes. You’re just slipping on your shoes when you get a text from Namjoon.

Kim Namjoon 😱😍: Ok, I hope you’re still ok to meet up! I’m so sorry again. I’ll send over the link for your pass. They’ll just scan it at the main entrance and then again at entrance 3. Sound good?

You take a deep breath, looking to your friends for support. They nod encouragingly, Leticia clutching her keys. All four of you will drive over. Hopefully they’ll manage to keep you sane on the ride over.

Me: Sounds perfect. And really, don’t worry about it. It happens to the best of us.

You’ve barely gotten into the car when Namjoon sends you the link as well as another message.

Kim Namjoon 😱😍: You know, if you leave right now there should be a few refreshments leftover from our staff. ;) Let me know when you get here!

“Oh, this man is going to be the death of me.”

The entire area where the Grammy’s are being held are packed with cars and fans clambering to get a look at their favorite celebrities on the red carpet. The red carpet interviews have only just begun, and you can’t help but wonder if Namjoon and the rest of the boys are out there already.

Smoothing out your dress, you can’t decide if you want them to be or not. Your heart is pounding from the overload of excitement and nerves.

With shaking hands your extend the barcode Namjoon sent you to the security at the main entrance and again at the 3rd. Once the car has been parked, you send a message off to Namjoon letting him know that you’ve arrived. Chances are he’s on the red carpet and isn’t going to see it, but at least you did what he asked.

“We’ll be right here when you’re finished!” Rebecca calls out as you clamber out of the car. You can’t help but laugh, feeling like a little kid being dropped off for school.

“You look freaking hot!” Bianca shouts, making you rush away and into the hallway crowded with people.

You follow the signs plastered up on the walls, pointing you toward BTS. Hopefully there are some people that will know you’re coming-

“Joon, we’ve really got to get out there now,” a voice you recognize as J-hope drifts over to you as you make your way toward an open door.

“I know,” Namjoon’s voice replies, and just like that your stomach is filled with butterflies tying impressive knots in your stomach. “But she just texted saying she’s here. I feel like it’s rude to just leave her to see the staff and not thank her in person.”

Jin’s voice is loud and clear. “Don’t lie to us. We all know that you just want to see her again. I’m starting to think you left your passport on purpose.”

You hold your breath, willing your cheeks to go back to a normal color. It does’t work.

“Ok boys, 5 more minutes. Tops. You’ve really got to get going, people are waiting.” Someone says over their shoulder as they step out of the room. They’re eyes almost immediately land on you, going a little wide. “Oh, are you here with the passport?”

Everyone seems to quiet down inside of the room, but a few harsh whispers and some footsteps later Namjoon is popping his head out of the door. As soon as he sees you his eyes light up even as he turns a little red.

“You made it!” He grins. “And wow. You look...”

You look down at your dress, fidgeting under the sudden attention. “A little out of place, I know. I didn’t know if it was ok to show up just in casual wear, so this is kinda what happened.”

Namjoon steps out into the hallway, and you swear you can hear Jungkook whining about how he wanted to see what’s happening. He’s quickly shushed by the others.

You’re engulfed by that same smell as this morning, and it takes everything in your willpower not to close your eyes and breathe it in. Namjoon must have barely reapplied his cologne.

“I was going to say you look stunning.” Now arriving just a step away from you, Namjoon smiles softly down at you. “Absolutely stunning.”

Your hands shake as you are at a loss for words, rummaging around your purse until you produce Namjoon’s passport. Staring at his tie and nowhere else, you extend it to him.

“H-here you go.”

As if trying to kill you right then and there, Namjoon’s fingers linger over your own as he takes the passport, quietly thanking you. “Um, this may sound a little strange but...”

You look up at him, a bit distracted by the way his hair is styled away from his face. Only a couple of thick strands kiss his forehead, making him look like he just stepped out of a novel.

Namjoon’s eyes dance over your face, clearly displaying his nerves. At least you’re not the only one.

“What is it?” You ask.

“Well, if you’re not busy tonight...would you maybe want to stay?” You barely stop yourself from passing out, digging your nails into your palm to ground yourself. Namjoon chews on the inside of his cheek. “Our staff have reserved seats by us, and we’re planning on ordering some food after-”

“Yes.” You blurt out the word before Namjoon can finish speaking, but he doesn’t mind. In fact, he looks positively relieved at your interruption.

“Really?” He swallows, playing with his cufflinks even as he stares into your eyes. “I don’t want to pressure you or anything...”

You shake your head, but stop. “I would love to, but...I actually have my friends that dropped me off waiting for me in the parking lot. I can’t make them wait for me like that-”

Now Namjoon cuts you off. “They can come too! And invite them to eat with us after! Really, the more the merrier!”

You blink up at this man, completely floored. “But, they don’t have dresses.”

Checking a watch that you’re sure costs more than your entire year’s rent, Namjoon thinks for a moment before looking back at you. You can’t help but grin at the way his eyes sweep over your figure and face again.

Bianca was right. You do look freaking hot.

“Do you think they could go change and be back within two hours?”

You mull it over, pulling your phone out and shooting off a text to Rebecca. “I bet they could, with the right motivation. But are you sure that’s alright?”

Namjoon smiles broadly at you. “Oh yeah. It’s more than alright.” He hesitates, rocking back on his heels. “So...you’ll stay?”

You return his smile. “I’ll stay.”

“Great!” Jin’s voice rings out into the hallway, making you jump. “Now will you bring her in here so we can warn her about how weird you are, Namjoon? We’ve only got so much time.”

Laughing at the expression of long-suffering on Namjoon’s face, you take the arm he extends to you. Before you walk through the door to meet the rest of the members, you lean up on your tippy-toes to whisper something to Namjoon. He cranes his neck, listening to your every word.

"Thanks for losing your passport.”

Namjoon smiles sheepishly, and every thought eddies out of your brain as his adorable dimples make an appearance. “My pleasure.”

masterlist

#namjoon x reader #bts x reader #bts request #namjoon request #rm x reader #namjoon fluff #namjoon x y/n #namjoon imagine #namjoon oneshot #bts oneshot #bts grammys #bts fanfic #namjoon fanfic #bts writer #bts author #namjoon is so cute in this

283 notes · View notes

taeyongdoyoung · 3 years

Photo

summary: you have a crush on college student renjun so you make use of your best lamest flirting attempts and surprisingly they work?!

pairing: renjun x gn!reader

genre: college!au, romance, pure fluff

warnings: very lame jokes, mentions of a cruel prank in the past (someone asking out renjun as a joke, pls never do that to people!), lots of awkwardness & sweetness, a bit of swearing, reader has an obsession with renjun’s pretty hands

word count: 4.7k

It had been a while since you had a crush so strong you even had a hard time focusing in class. Usually, you were a very good student, diligently taking notes and participating when the professor asked questions. But that was until you saw Renjun for the first time.

It was like something possessed you and suddenly you couldn't think about anything else but his pretty, gentle face, his angelic voice and his lovely hands always drawing something in his notebook. It certainly didn't help much that you were seated right next to him during your shared lectures. It most certainly didn't help that you forgot all your vocabulary when you were in his immediate vicinity. Usually, your teachers and friends described you as well-spoken and eloquent, always knowing the right thing to say.

But that was, of course, until Renjun. All words disappeared from your poor brain whenever he was around. And it's not like you didn't want to talk to him, get to know him better. But you physically couldn't bring yourself to form a coherent sentence. You kept telling yourself it was just a silly crush and it would pass in time. But the more time passed, the stronger you felt the need to do something about your feelings. Naturally, you couldn't speak, but there was still something you could do. Something you probably did best. Write.

So one day, after what felt like an eternity of yearning, you finally gathered the courage to act on your emotions. Taking a small sheet of paper out of your notebook, you wrote a little something. It was probably super lame but apparently, even your writing skills were affected by your crush on him. As soon as your "masterpiece" was done, you slid it towards Renjun before you could chicken out and change your mind about this whole thing. The note had the following text:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your drawings are almost As pretty as you. P.S. Key word: almost ;)

The second he spotted the little note which was folded in a hurry, he opened it curiously. Once he read its insides, you could hear him snort under his breath. Was it that bad? You couldn't help but worry. Then, he took his own pen and started writing something under it. That was a good sign, right? You were feeling hopeful. Once he was done, he slid the paper towards you. You opened it in a rush. His response was:

Hey! Are you bullying my art?!?

You looked at him in confusion. How could he have possibly misunderstood? However, he was too focused on multitasking (drawing most of the time and occasionally taking notes based on the lecture) to spot your reaction. You decided you had no choice but to be as explicit as possible and wrote another note:

Nooo, I meant to compliment both you and your art, sorry if it came off wrong and lame :(

When he received it, you could swear you saw him smiling a little, which made your heart melt. How was he so beautiful? Soon enough, his reply came:

That's alright, I'm just teasing...Also, it worked.

You couldn't believe it. It worked? You'd successfully grabbed his attention by using this first-grade flirting method in college? You were suddenly feeling brave and kept writing. It was too late to turn back time.

I just think you're really pretty and cool especially when you draw but I was too hesitant to talk to you directly...

When he read your most recent note, he even gave you a look of disbelief, which you couldn't interpret until you saw his response:

Cool? Wow, that's a first...And it's ok, I don't bite.

You chuckled quietly and suddenly noticed that class was ending soon. You couldn't wait until tomorrow so you hurriedly wrote the content of your next note:

What do I have to do to get your number?

Renjun shook his head in amusement and this time, his reply came quicker than before:

*number enclosed* Here, that wasn't so hard, was it?

You could hear the lecturer saying his words of conclusion and you hurried to respond via another note, because you couldn't trust your voice to actually speak to Renjun. Not yet, at least. So, you wrote:

Thank you!!! Here is mine: *number enclosed*

And just as he received your final note, the students around you started gathering their things. You simply looked at Renjun and you still couldn't believe he'd actually replied to your silly flirting and even gave you his number! You waved him goodbye like a lovesick fool and practically ran outside of the lecture hall. Stage fright whomst? Try having a crush on the prettiest boy in the world.

After you went back home, you debated calling Renjun. Eventually, you talked yourself out of it. What if you said something stupid and embarrassing? With texting, you could at least have more time to think things through before sending them. Actually speaking to him seemed too terrifying a task to accomplish. So, you texted him excitedly and your heart did a back-flip when he replied. Was it strange that you already missed him, even though it had only been a couple of hours since you last saw him? Naturally, you couldn't tell him that, it would probably freak him out. So, you settled for texting (for the time being).

Renjun: Why did you run away after class?

You: I was too nervous to speak to you, I'm sorry!!!

Renjun: That's strange, I see you talking to your friends all the time...Am I so scary?!?

You: Nooo, you're not scary, I'm just being an idiot 😔

Renjun: Top of the class does not equal idiot but I'll let it slide this time

You: Thank you for your generosity!

Renjun: What are you up to?

You: Probably gonna work on that assignment for next week

You: Sorry, I'm so boring 😔

Renjun: First of all, you don't have to apologize so much, you did nothing wrong

Renjun: Second of all, saaame. We can brainstorm together if you want?

You: Sorry, I'll stop. Oops, I did it again. Pretend you didn't see it.

You: Also omg, yes pls, that would be great!

And that is how your friendship with Renjun started. Texting on your phones and exchanging notes during class lasted a week until you finally decided to ask him out. Again, via text, because you were feeling too shy to speak to him. The only other contact you'd had was waving at each other. And it's not like he spoke to you, either. There were two explanations for that: 1) he chose to respect your decision or 2) he was possibly just as shy as you were. Whatever the reason, you thought this could not go on forever so you managed to find the bravery to propose a date.

You: Do you wanna go out with me? 👉🥺👈

Renjun: Sure, where do you wanna go?

You: Oh, wow, I didn't think I'd get this far lol

You: Where do YOU wanna go?

Renjun: Hmm, there's this new art gallery I've been meaning to visit...if that's okay with you

You: Anything is good with me as long as I get to see your pretty face

Renjun: What

You: I said you're pretty

Renjun: Shut up, oh my God...

You: Do you want me to stop?

Renjun: Say that again

You: You're pretty

Renjun: 😳😳😳

Renjun: I can't wait to see you again

You: Same here

Once you got to the front of the art gallery, it struck you how strange it was that you would speak to Renjun for the first time ever. You mentally braced yourself as you awaited his arrival anxiously. Your nails were digging into the inside of your hands and you were terrified you'd pierce holes through your own skin. You told yourself this was silly, you had no reason to be so nervous. Renjun was a total sweetheart and he obviously liked talking...well, writing to you. You needn't worry that much, you kept repeating in your mind. You were too busy hyping yourself up to notice him approaching behind you. Too busy to be prepared for what came next.

"Hiii," Renjun greeted you with a surprise back hug.

"Oh dear," you jumped in shock as you turned around.

"Did I scare you, angel?"

Shit. Already with the pet names? How were you supposed to survive?

"No, it's fine," you waved him off, trying to play it cool. "Isn't it weird this is the first time we're actually speaking to each other?"

"Um...kinda," Renjun scratched the back of his head. "But I like it, it's what makes this so special."

"Wow, you sure do have a way with words," you chuckled.

"Shall we go inside?" he suggested.

"Yes, please."

As you looked around the art gallery, you kept pointing excitedly at the paintings, while Renjun was quietly evaluating them and telling you interesting stories about the artists. You couldn't help but be amazed by how attractive he was as he exhibited his knowledge. And of course, you couldn't help but wonder at how he was so much more beautiful than all the art you've ever seen. Naturally, you wouldn't tell him that. First of all, because it was too lame to speak aloud. Second of all, because your voice would undoubtedly betray you and crack or something even more embarrassing. As time passed, you were surprised at how easy it was to talk to him, despite your previous concerns. Renjun was very polite and soft-mannered and he made you feel comfortable, while the two of you looked at the paintings and discussed them. Once you'd seen everything, you were starting to feel a bit bummed out that your lovely date was coming to an end. When you were outside the art gallery, you impulsively asked:

"Can I walk you home?"

"I mean...sure. On one condition."

"Anything."

"I get to walk you home next time."

"There'll be a next time?" you whispered hopefully.

"I hope I don't sound presumptuous if I share my observation we both had a wonderful time."

"That's perfectly alright. Your observation is correct," you admitted.

"I live just around the corner, though. You really don't have to-"

"But I want to."

"So do I," Renjun said and the two of you began walking towards his home.

"I was wondering about something...You already know I didn't speak to you because I was feeling shy, but why didn't you? I have two theories, but I'm curious which one is more on point."

"Do tell and I'll try my best to enlighten you," he joked.

"Okay, so theory number one is you were being respectful of my wish not to talk yet. Theory number two is that you're just as shy as I am."

Renjun laughed and you could swear this was the sweetest sound in the entire universe.

"Am I so transparent? Honestly, it's a little bit of both. But there's another part you didn't guess. But it's too embarrassing."

"Come on, tell meee! It can't be more embarrassing than my lame attempts to flirt with you."

Renjun smiled gently.

"Well, to be honest, I couldn't believe you thought I was cool and pretty...I even feared this was some sort of prank. It wouldn't be the first time someone decided to mess with me like that."

"Renjun, are you serious? I don't understand why anyone would...Scratch that, whoever messed with you didn't deserve even a fraction of your attention. I meant every word I said. I really like you...and your paintings. And I'm sorry I couldn't say it aloud earlier. You genuinely deserve to hear nice things more."

"Thank you. I appreciate it," he blinked cutely. "But enough about me. I never told you...how beautiful you are. How kind and smart."

"I know," you waved him off teasingly. "But coming from you, this means a lot."

Renjun shook his head, amused by your words.

"We should go somewhere you like next time. Maybe a bookshop?" he suggested.

"Am I so transparent?" you repeated his words. "But sure, yeah. That sounds nice."

"Well, this is me," he said, pointing towards his home.

"Already? Aw, time sure flies by when you're having fun."

"I'll see you tomorrow in class, right?"

"Of course," you promised and before you could talk yourself out of it, gave him a quick but heartfelt hug. "Bye, Renjun."

"Bye, angel."

After your first date with Renjun, things were going quite smoothly. You finally got over your nervousness when it came to talking to him and the two of you would occasionally whisper things to each other during class. The first time he held your hand under the desk your cheeks filled with colour. Despite your embarrassment, you held his hand right back and granted him with a grateful smile. After that, holding hands in class (whenever you weren't busy taking notes) became like second nature to you two. It just felt so sweet and comfortable to be close to him. You couldn't wait till the next weekend for your second date. Even though you were just going to a bookshop and had nothing that special planned out, you enjoyed being around him so much that you were more than excited for spending time with him one-on-one. No professors or other students to distract you.

When the day finally arrived, you were surprised to find out your anxious self had made a comeback. Even though you were around him everyday and had grown accustomed to holding a conversation, it had been an entire week since your first date when it was just the two of you and you couldn't help but get cold feet as you were waiting in front of the bookshop. This time Renjun didn't surprise you from behind, you could see him approaching from a distance. Mentally bracing yourself for his inevitable arrival, you knew you'd be an awkward mess no matter how hard you tried.

"Hey, angel," he greeted you with the usual hug.

"It's nice to see you again, Renjun," you replied dumbly, briefly melting into his arms.

"You saw me yesterday, remember?" he teased you.

"Um, yeah, but still," you chuckled.

"Is everything okay? You don't seem like yourself," Renjun immediately noticed the change in your behaviour.

"Why wouldn't it be? Everything's peachy," you lied, but he didn't seem to believe you.

"Be honest with me, please," Renjun asked. You suddenly remembered what he'd confided in you during your first date. It was no wonder he had a hard time trusting you after someone in his past had had the nerve to pull such a cruel prank on a soul as sweet as his. You felt guilty for lying rightaway and began explaining yourself.

"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous. I don't want to fuck anything up. Like I just did by lying and swearing. Fuck. I did it again, didn't I? I'll shut up now," you were rambling anxiously.

"Relax, Y/N, I totally get it. I was just worried maybe you didn't want to be here...with me."

"What? Nonsense. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. No one else I'd rather be with."

"Well, the feeling's mutual so there's no need for concern. Let's look at those books, yeah?"

"Yeah, sounds good, Renjun."

As the two of you went inside and started exploring the hundreds of shelves together, you felt yourself relaxing a little. Being surrounded by so many familiar titles, so many gorgeous covers was comforting. And as you kept showing Renjun some of your favourite books and telling him about your most beloved characters, he realized you were back to your usual self in no time. Attentively listening and occasionally sharing his opinions on certain authors, you didn't notice how quickly time passed by and how much you had enjoyed yourself and each other's company. Once you had looked through the bookshop in its entirety, you felt like it was too early to put an end to your date, but you didn't want to come off as too clingy or something. So, you simply looked at Renjun, expecting him to say what he wanted to do next.

"I promised you I'll walk you home this time, didn't I?" he smoothly said.

"I believe you did," you giggled. It was so sweet of him to remember such a detail.

"I'm a man of my word so lead the way," Renjun replied, offering you his arm.

"It will be my pleasure," you eagerly took his arm and the two of you began walking. You were deliberately moving at a slow place, simply because you didn't want this to end and felt like prolonging the time around him.

"Your hands are so pretty," you blurted out at one point.

"You like my hands, huh?" Renjun smirked.

"Did I say that out loud?" you were undoubtedly blushing really hard.

"I'm afraid so."

You felt completely mortified as you covered your face with your own hands.

"Hey, hey, it's fine. You can tell me anything. Chances are I'll take it as a compliment."

"Really?" you sneaked a peak. "You don't think I'm weird?"

"Maybe a little bit, but it's one of the things I like about you."

"One?" you blinked curiously.

"You're really fun to be around and you've been nothing but sweet to me. And of course, you're stunning, but that goes without saying."

"Without saying? I don't mind hearing it, though."

"I'll have that in mind," Renjun smiled gently.

"Renjun?"

"Yes?"

"Can you hold my hand?" you almost begged.

"I don't know, can I?" he tormented you with a joke.

"Will you hold my hand?" you corrected yourself.

"All you had to do was ask," Renjun acquiesced and intertwined your fingers.

Walking hand in hand, you eventually reached your place. As you two stared at one another, you refusing to go inside, him refusing to go, both of you refusing to let go of the other's hand, you thought to yourself how badly you wanted to kiss him. You had no idea if it was too early for that but you knew that the longer you tried to postpone it, the more you'd crave him. And you were an impatient person. So you quickly kissed him without thinking much. It was a bit awkward and rushed but at least, you had finally done as you wanted. Renjun looked taken aback and blinked at you a couple of times.

"I'm sorry," you apologized again. "I just..."

He silenced you softly with another kiss, this time more slowly and putting your mind and heart at ease. You lost yourself in the feeling of his plush lips against yours, finally letting go of his hand so that you could wrap yours around his neck. Hesitant at first but growing bolder by the second, you could sense Renjun's tongue testing the waters. You slightly parted your lips, letting him in. As the kiss intensified, you could feel him becoming more eager to touch you, his arms wrapped around your lower back. When you were seconds away from losing your breath, you finally broke the kiss. Opening your eyes to look at him, you couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. He'd kissed you back.

"I thought I told you to stop apologizing so much. Especially, when you haven't done anything wrong," Renjun scolded you politely.

You opened your mouth to argue, but when you realized your immediate response would have been another 'I'm sorry', you closed it. A second later, you came up with a different reply.

"I guess you'll have to discipline me, then," you huffed in a challenge.

"Dumbass," Renjun flicked your forehead.

"Hey!" you complained with a pout. "That hurts."

"What do you want me to do? Kiss it better?" Renjun gave an unamused look.

"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea," you mumbled, not expecting him to actually...kiss your forehead. But he did. And damn your knees for threatening to give out.

"Feel better yet?"

You nodded enthusiastically.

"Get inside already," Renjun tickled your sides, nudging you in the direction of your door.

"You want to get rid of me so badly?"

"No, but we can stand here forever if you don't," he rolled his eyes.

"Do you want me to invite you in?"

"Don't tempt me and go," he was impossible to sway.

"Okay, okay," you relented. "See you tomorrow, Renjun!"

For your third date Renjun suggested something different. While your first and second date had all taken place in public locations, this time he offered going to his place. And maybe the shock on your face was too obvious, because Renjun was quick to keep talking and almost take it back.

"We don't have to if you don't want to! We can just watch something at the cinema or whatever. Forget I mentioned it if you're uncomfortable."

You quickly shook your head.

"No, no, I do want to come over! I was just...not expecting it."

"Yeah? You sure?"

"A hundred per cent," you nodded excitedly.

"Sorry to break it to you, but I'm at two hundred per cent," Renjun teased.

"It's not a competition," you reminded him.

"It's not if I'm winning," he kept playing around.

You rolled your eyes.

"So what are we watching?" you asked.

"You can't go wrong with Harry Potter, am I right?"

"You are so right," you squealed. "Which house are you in?"

"Don't get me started. Sometimes I get Ravenclaw, sometimes Slytherin, it's a mess."

"That's pretty cool, though," you were practically staring at him with heart eyes at this point.

"You're a Hufflepuff, aren't you?"

"Am I so transparent?" you complained, this line becoming something of a running gag between the two of you.

"Cute," he mumbled under his breath and you blushed, not managing to maintain eye contact.

When the time arrived for you to go to Renjun's place, you were more excited rather than nervous. He was so easy to talk to and you were genuinely making so many wonderful memories that you had made it your mission to not waste any second worrying needlessly.

"I have arrived," you announced the obvious as you stood at his door.

"I can see that," Renjun chuckled. "Come on in."

"I wasn't sure if I should bring something so I bought some pizza on the way. It's still hot, so I hope you're hungry," you said as you followed him inside like a puppy.

"Oh, that's very thoughtful. And I always have enough space left for pizza."

You grinned and the minute you put the box on the table and your arms were free, you wrapped them around Renjun in a hug.

"You're so warm," you murmured against his skin.

He kissed the top of your head swiftly. Soon after, the two of you were too busy re-watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, eating pizza and holding hands to talk much. Once the movie was over, you realized how badly you didn't want to go home and how cozy leaning your head on Renjun's shoulder felt. And how much you liked him and couldn't stop thinking about his hands, his smile and his overall existence.

"Do you want to go home already?" Renjun asked the dreaded question.

"I mean, not really, but I don't wanna impose myself on you," you whispered.

"Don't be so formal," Renjun replied. "Just stay a little longer."

"Yayyy!" you were quite overjoyed and kissed his cheek. "What do you want to do?"

"Hm, I don't know. I could give you a tour around the place."

"Sure, that sounds fun," you immediately agreed.

"Don't get your hopes up, it's just a regular college guy's apartment."

"I'm sure I'll be amazed by every little detail."

"Even my socks?"

"Especially your socks," you joked.

As he showed you around his apartment, you couldn't help but be amazed by how Renjun-like everything was. From the snug kitchen to his art supplies scattered around. Every corner made the atmosphere feel extremely homey. Until you saw something that you hadn't expected, something that hadn't come up in conversation before. A stunning grand piano. You looked at the instrument and then at Renjun and finally, back at the piano.

"Do you play?"

"No, I just keep things like that as an accessory," he responded sarcastically. "Of course, I play."

"Can you...no, wait," you stopped yourself before making a similar mistake to the one you made a while ago. "Will you play something for me?"

"Right now?"

"If it's not too much trouble," you gave him the very best pleading look you were capable of.

Renjun sighed reluctantly and sat down on the bench in front of the piano.

"Don't just stand there awkwardly, sit next to me," he urged you courteously.

You followed his advice and took the free spot. However, nothing could have possibly prepared you for witnessing Renjun's skills up-close. Watching him play was like magic. You were simply in awe and couldn't help but stare at his pretty fingers hitting the keys in just the right ways. When he was finished performing the piece, you were too frozen to do anything. Couldn't even manage to clap, even though he deserved it so much. But you were too transfixed by his playing and those damn hands of his you couldn't possibly move.

"Earth to Y/N?" Renjun went as far as snapping his fingers right in front of your face.

"Huh?" you let out.

"Did I enchant you or what?"

"I think you did," you chuckled. "Just...wow. You're insanely good."

He looked away bashfully.

"Thanks. It just takes practice."

"Nah, I've heard people play before but what you have is different. So pure and genuine. Like a blessing. And I'm not just saying that because I think I'm falling in love with you. I really mean every word."

"Care to repeat that?"

"I really mean..." you started, still not registering what exactly you'd said. How far you'd gone. What you couldn't take back.

"Before that," Renjun reminded you gently. "You know. The part about falling in love with me."

"Shit. I was thinking out loud again, wasn't I?" you asked dumbly. "It's too early for that, I know. I'm really sorry. Let's just pretend I said nothing and forget about it, yeah?"

In your panic, you jumped up from the bench and were about to escape like a coward but Renjun grabbed your hand before you could take another step.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, too," he said.

"W-what?" you stammered.

"And I don't care about whether it's too early or not. And I'm not going to pretend I didn't hear it. So the question is...what are you going to do about that?"

"Me? What...am I supposed to do?"

"What you want to do," Renjun clarified.

"Um...I want to keep falling in love with you, Renjun. And holding your pretty hands. Spending time with you. Listening to your angelic voice. What I want...is for you to be my boyfriend."

"I thought I already was."

"You were?"

"We went on a couple of dates...we kissed...Haven't I made it obvious enough?"

"Oh, right," you chuckled. "Sorry."

"Say that word one more time, I dare you," Renjun slowly ran a finger down your lips.

"S-sorry?" you had to test his patience. Before you could argue, he kissed you fiercely, wrapping his palms around your cheeks. You were drowning beneath his touch, which was ridiculous, considering he was also setting your lips on fire. You figured if saying sorry too much was going to end up like this, you would be a fool not to take advantage of it.

"Pretty angel," Renjun whispered against your mouth. "My pretty angel."

You were practically melting and the only thing holding you together were Renjun's arms.

"For fear of sounding lame, I'm inclined to say your pretty angel's almost as pretty as you. Key word: almost," you giggled, recalling your earliest attempts at flirting with him.

"Lies," Renjun shook his head.

"Hey, it worked the first time!" you pouted.

"It only worked because you're the pretty one," Renjun ruffled your hair playfully.

"Oh my God, shut up," you covered your face to hide how red it was.

"Never."

The End

#nct #renjun #nct dream #renjun x reader #nct fluff #renjun fluff #hwang renjun #nct romance #hwang renjun x reader #college au #writing

123 notes · View notes

thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years

Note

being honest i dont get jm using a award to say he misses tannie... we don’t know 90% of their lives but they are very close to the point of still sleeping together sometimes. and going deep if they were really a couple jm woudnt miss taes dog right? and even as friends he could visit it. unless its because of their schedule right... this kind of comment sometimes confuses me and haters will use it as “they arent close” lol. i just wanted to know your pov.

Judging by Admin 2's reaction, as well as some others in our asks, I have a feeling I was the only one with a more realistic expectation, or lack of expectations, as I waited for the BTS profiles to be posted. Based on last year's, I knew expecting something grand out of Tae, and especially Jimin, would just be me setting myself up for failure, which is what I think happened here.

But, let's discuss it.

I spent a solid couple of hours making an excel table last night that contains everything every member said about every member (sourcing 3 translators for maximum insight) to see if really what Jimin chose for Tae is so "bad" that suddenly people are sending us asks like this one, and another one I'll add later down the line. And the conclusion I've come to is that...what he gave to Tae, as well as Hobi and Seokjin, as awards are the only ones that have any actual emotional/personal connection to them.

With Namjoon and JK Jimin basically states the obvious--Namjoon is tall and JK has gained muscle mass, meaning nothing new or with a proper emotional connection was stated; to Yoongi he made the same request many other members have made, so a work connection, nothing inherently personal.

Now, compared to that--Seokjin teases him/them, which isn't new info, so Jimin asked him to stop or do it less, a valid request which I'm sure he also voiced to Seokjin outside of this FESTA profile and also shows a degree of personal connection; Hobi gets requested to not walk away after asking Jimin a question, which again shows a personal connection and that it's a reoccurring thing; and lastly Tae with Tannie.

Something I've noticed is that some ARMY, who are used to our western celebrities and draw conclusions about idols based on those parameters, forget that BTS are busy, like whatever you consider busy, take that and multiply it by ten. During his vlive with Hobi and Yoongi back in April, Tae said that they are much busier and their lives far more hectic than any of us realize. Taking that into account, and the fact that one of the members (I think it might have been Seokjin) mentioned they work at least ten hours a day for 360 days a year with practice, MV and CF filming, photoshoots, interviews, recording and working on music, meetings, and many other things we have no idea about, do you really think Yeontan lives with Tae full time? A dog needs to get walked and fed but if Tae is out of the house every day for at least ten hours, what would happen to Tannie? He'd just sit around at home alone all day which just isn't fair, so I'm sure Tannie lives with Tae's parents much the same way Micky lives with Hobi's parents and/or his sister, JKs dog lives with his family, Holly lives with Yoongi’s brother, Moni with Namjoon's, and years ago Seokjin had to give his sugar gliders to his parents because he was too busy to take care of them.

Based on that of that, I'm not sure how often Tae get's to see Tannie. Probably not all that often, to be honest. So, if Tannie's owner doesn't get to see him often, I'd assume Jimin gets to see him even less (if we work on the assumption that Tannie lives with Tae's parents and thus Tae could only really see him when visiting them or when they visit him, that means Jimin wouldn't be able to see Tannie just like that either, since that would be like intruding on family time, right?). And we know Jimin loves Tannie, so him using that award to say he misses him and is asking about him shows care and an emotional connection to Tannie. Do I think Jimin also asks Tae privately about Tannie? Absolutely. And still, while Jimin didn't give Tae the, I don't know, "hot body Award" like Yoongi did with Namjoon or the "person I love most in the world award" (which we should know by now would never happen, and if you expected something of that intensity level, than I'm sorry but you've set yourself up for disappointment from the start), he still drew a personal and emotional connection between himself and Tae, as well as the pet Tae loves dearly.

More below the cut:

Jimin could’ve asked about the other pets of the members, but he didn’t, he only ever really talked about Tannie, and here he does it again, so doesn’t that show that he has a bond with him, a closer one than the other members since they don’t/didn’t ask about him (except for Hobi that one time on weverse)?

Speaking of Hobi, am I the only one who finds it interesting and cute that he only drew little hearts for Jimin and Tae when writing down their awards?

Also, we have to remember that these profiles are for us, fan content (remember when Jimin asked Tae last year to post more pictures of Tannie on weverse because ARMY miss seeing him, so what if this is drawing a connection/parallel to that?), and not meant as the members “confessing” something to each other that they otherwise wouldn’t or don’t have the chance to do so. It’s not meant to be all that serious and instead just be fun and nice for us to read, show us a bit of their dynamic and that’s it, no world shattering revelations to be found, from any of them. Or do you really think Yoongi doesn’t like Jimin just because he told Jimin he’s trying too hard to be funny? It’s just part of their dynamic. Or that none of the members have anything else to say to JK besides commenting on his body/appearance? As for vmin, I’d like to remind us of this moment from their Friends subunit interview for FESTA 2020:

Whatever Jimin and Tae want to say to each other, they don’t need FESTA to do it, or us to be there as witnesses. Like Tae didn’t already say enough by telling us that 95z is love. Or Jimin by writing Friends.

From anon: because of you I came back da Namjin. I am a senior army and 2 years ago I left Namjin because I thought they broke up. You made me three Vmin but after what JK wrote about Jimin and after Jm himself about his chances I think that vmin are not together or Jimin withdrew. I think Jk would not dare to write about Jm that he has cute fingers etc if vmin were a relationship. it goes too far and confuses Jk too much. I don't want to say that J / k*ok is real because it certainly isn't !!!!

Now this is where I just sit and sigh heavily because it’s exactly what I expected and I will admit it irks me to no end. Let’s establish a little timeline:

Based on the FESTA Mission! BTS 4 Cuts Teaser that was posted earlier we can deduce that at least part of FESTA was already being prepared back in the first half of March, since on March 12th Jimin, Namjoon and Seokjin had their salad making vlive. Let’s suppose that everything FESTA related was prepared and written out by the members around that time as well. Sometime later BTS filmed YOU QUIZ followed by LET’S BTS and BTSxGame Caterers and everything else we’ve seen after that.

Or going a little further back to sometime in November 2020 while they were preparing for MMA 2020 and the Black Swan performance. We got the practice video today and if you pay attention to Jimin and Tae even there you notice that while Tae is waiting for his turn in the choreography, Jimin runs past him after his part is done (0:55) and they pat each other or do a “high five” or something along those lines as a way to cheer each other on. A very “we’re broken up” or “I will break up with him soon” thing to do, right? Or in min-January when Tae posted seven pictures out of which three were of just Jimin after an ARMY on weverse asked if anyone had any nice pictures they could use as wallpaper for their phone. Between all that I’m having a hard time honestly finding any moment where either of them seemed sad or “cold” toward the other the way you would be and feel if the person you love pulled away from you or broke up with you.

If you are still unconvinced and still think that is what Jimin tried to communicate to us, would Tae really have gone on national TV and said he likes Jimin the most? And would Jimin have agreed that he likes him a lot as well? Or looking at the making video of their Kloud Beer CF that was posted today as well, would Jimin really be looking and interacting with Tae this way if he decided to end things between them?

Also, going back a little, your mention of Jimin reflecting upon opportunities/chances now that it’s a new year. My question is based on what you made the judgment that this comment has to be about vmin and not about something entirely different in Jimin’s life, or maybe something connected to BTS as a whole? Just because of him asking Tae about Tannie? Jimin, as well as Tae and the other members, have entire lives outside of just their bonds with each other, entire careers, passion projects, families, friend groups, and that little bit of time they have to themselves, so immediately thinking Jimin’s comment must be related to his relationship/bond with Tae basically makes it seem like Jimin’s life is a romcom or a TV show in which the only thing that matters is if the main character will date or remain in a relationship with character B or not, but life isn’t like that.

Personally it reminded me of something Tae said during their Bring the Soul documentary about how BTS had the opportunities to go higher faster but they decided against them. Perhaps Jimin’s comment was about something like this as well, especially since we know Jimin is a very private person and very selective of the personal things he shares with us and the ones he doesn’t.

For the FESTA profile JK decided to give Jimin the “Cute Award” with the explanation that his “Face, height, fingers are cute” which, honestly, is just saying something that a) is true and b) has been said in millions of ways by every member across the last couple of years. I don’t see what the issue here is? During one of the episodes of BTSxGame Caterers Seokjin said that Jimin is very cute and that he has a small, beautiful face, so really he even added the word beautiful in there, which JK did not, so what really is the issue here? The fact its JK, right, that’s where the issue lies, to which I ask why? On this blog we’ve already established that there is (in our opinion and based on everything we’ve seen and heard) no romantic connection between JK and Jimin (nor Tae), not now and not in the past either, so why is him saying that Jimin is cute (which he is known for even by people outside of ARMY, or like James Cordon calling him his cute baby mochi) is an issue but Seokjin or any other member is not? Either we use the same measurements for everyone or we don’t compare or make such assumptions about any of them.

What I find curious, because this does make it seem like you, anon, are someone influenced by J*k*ok shippers and their opinions, see an issue in JK saying that about Jimin, and how that’s “proof” that Jimin and Tae can’t possibly be together, and yet you took no issue to Namjoon basically saying he wants to give Tae an award because he is so handsome he is above every list or Yoongi comparing him to Michelangelo's David, both of these being much more superlative and grand complements/awards than JK saying Jimin’s face, height and fingers are cute.

It’s funny how things that Jimin and Tae have said about and to each other that make their bond very clear (I want to live with my lovely Taehyungie forever or here is my love for you while handing Tae a bunch of red heart balloons or 95z is love, a statement I’m sure he wouldn’t post if that sentiment weren’t mutual) are all questioned or ignored, but something as basically trivial as a comment about Jimin being cute is turned into a major issue. The mental gymnastics is fascinating.

Lastly, going back to the first anon and their mention of how haters will use Jimin’s Award for Tae as “proof” that they “aren’t close anymore”--why do we care? Like Namjoon said in the Mic Drop lyrics Haters gon’ hate. They will say a lot of things about a lot of things and even make things up if they feel like it to push their agenda, so really, regardless of what Jimin would’ve said, or not said, they would’ve found a way to twist it and make it fit their narrative. Besides, what haters think has no actual effect or bearing on what Tae and Jimin have with each other, and neither does what other shippers claim. Haters and other shippers don’t control the narrative, BTS do, and everything Jimin and Tae have shown us in 2021, as well as the last eight years, shows me that their bond has only ever grown stronger and closer and more beautiful and awe inspiring, even while haters claimed they stopped being friends years ago, so why should you or I care what they think?

Like Yoongi once said in one of his vlives about how haters can write all they want, he won’t read it while they will get sued.

#Taehyung #Jimin #vmin #FESTA 2021 #BTS FESTA 2021 #answered ask #answered ask by admin 1

67 notes · View notes

the-hopeless-haze · 3 years

Text

Somebody Sit in My Chair and Ruin My Sleep (Being Alive Ch 15)

A/N: Idk how I feel about this chapter but here u go I guess lol

Previous Chapter

content warnings: implied smut

WC: 1.9k

Rafael didn’t have any idea what he was walking into on Monday morning, but Jesus Christ, the fact that you let the squad know what happened - down to the very last detail, it seemed - was a horror show. Amanda avoids him in some show of female solidarity, Nick shoots him sympathetic looks, and Sonny - fucking Sonny asks Rafael how he is and won’t stop asking how you were, if he’d heard from you.

But why should he expect mercy from the woman who turned down his proposal?

And maybe he deserved it. Maybe he should’ve tried to read the room instead of just pushing forward. You had been right - that night certainly wasn’t the prime time for a proposal in the slightest. Hindsight is always 20/20, and he keeps remembering moments where you were slipping away inch by inch like sand past his fingertips, and he can’t believe how stupid he was that he chose to swallow it down and chalk it up as nothing instead of sitting down and actually talking to you.

Still, communication is a two way street, and instead of sending him vague signals that he was too obtuse to decipher, you could’ve sat down and talked to him too.

It’s so much easier to assign blame than take it, isn’t it?

Ultimately, though, he just couldn’t believe you weren’t on the same page as him. Didn’t you always say you wanted all these things? Weren’t you happy that Rafael finally felt he was ready, too? Perhaps though, in the midst of all his internal turmoil he truly forgot to assess your feelings on the matter. Yes, you said you wanted children, yes, your parents constantly threw comments his way about settling down with you, and yes, you’d told him on multiple occasions he wasn’t too old to get married if that’s truly what he wanted.

But where was your actual opinion on marrying him in any of this? It was lost in between the need you no doubt felt to constantly comfort Rafael about his current misgivings and past misfortunes and your parents’ well-meaning but busy-bodied comments. It was clouded by Rafael’s own mother’s opinions, and hell, even Sonny’s - everyone was so afraid Rafael was going to lose you that they pressured him into offering you a ring and a promise of forever - but little did anyone know that by doing just that... he had in fact lost you anyway.

His mother was devastated, weeping about how you would’ve made such a lovely bride, how she was already looking at suits for Rafael and venues for the wedding... he couldn’t handle it and left her apartment after ten minutes of her lamentation. He should’ve never told her, he should’ve never been so sure of what was going on in your head, because now he realizes he never had any idea. No one did.

So now, he snaps at Sonny, because Sonny is guilty by way of telling him “oh sure, she’ll say yes” like anyone knew what the fuck you would do when the question was finally asked. Maybe you didn’t even know until he was down on one knee. Still, Rafael can’t help wondering if things would be different if the car accident never happened - deep down, he knows there were signs you were pulling away after Thanksgiving, but it’s so much easier to blame Sonny for it. You wouldn’t have sunk so low in a deep depression if you could’ve worked, if you weren’t immobilized by your injury... but would you have loved Rafael enough anyway?

“Will you shut the fuck up?” Rafael hisses at the younger detective. “You’ve been talking my ear off all morning.”

“Whoa, Barba, wake up on the wrong side of the bed today or what? I was just getting you up to speed on the case—“

“I’ve read the file. You don’t need to.”

“Fine. Liv’s in her office but I suggest cooling the attitude, because she’s not in a good mood either. Noah was sick and kept her up all night.”

“Lovely.”

And then, by some sick twist of fate, you walk through the door, and Rafael’s stomach turns. Never did you look so gorgeous, so beautiful, so fucking untouchable than you did now. It’s the first time in weeks he’s seen you in a blazer and slacks, the first time he’s seen you look like you gave a shit in months. And maybe that’s unfair - you were struggling, per your own admission - but it almost feels like all you had to do was lose the weight of Rafael and all his baggage that came with being in a relationship with him, and you were good as new.

He wonders how many of his exes could tell a similar story to yours, if that were truly the case.

You meet his eyes for a split second and he wants to drop dead. You give him a haughty smirk and head over to Amanda’s desk, turning your back to him.

Why couldn’t you just fucking leave like you’d said you would? It’d be so much easier if you did just go back home but like everything else that came out of your mouth that was merely a half baked promise you had no intention of making good on.

And maybe Rafael should’ve called you this weekend, but he couldn’t swallow his pride and come back to you with his tail between his legs after you rejected the proposal he’d worked all his life to be able to give. You never called him either, but if this was going to go anywhere, someone would have to talk first.

But shouldn’t it have to be you? You’re the one who asked for space. He’s giving it. What the fuck else was he supposed to do?

But now that you’re not living with him, now that you’re not even with him at all, you’re completely unpredictable. Never in his wildest dreams did he think you’d come over to him and Sonny, flash him your best sardonic lipglossed smile, and ask to borrow Sonny for a moment.

Rafael can’t even think straight, he can barely breathe, the rage coming up like bile and tightening his throat. How could you stand there and act like nothing was different now?

“Sure,” he snaps.

“Whoa, no need for the attitude, Rafael,” you say sweetly. “We can all play nice, right?”

Rafael doesn’t say anything, can’t say anything… he just shakes his head and walks to Olivia’s office. How could you compartmentalize like that, he’d love to know. Wasn’t this killing you, too?

The rest of the day proves to go by smoother, thankfully, albeit minor annoyances that come up like a snippy altercation with Olivia due to both of their bad moods and a taxi driver haggling him about the fare. Rafael still cannot wait to come back to his office and savor his fourth cup of coffee today after running around the city all morning, put his feet up and do some paperwork…

But you’re there, in his chair, with your feet up on his desk.

“Get out,” Rafael says before you can utter a word.

“I want to talk,” you say innocently.

“I don’t. Get out. Who the hell let you in here?”

“Carmen, duh. She still thinks we’re together, apparently.”

“Do I have to call security?”

You stare at him blankly. “You’d really call security?”

Rafael rolls his eyes, throws his briefcase on a nearby chair. “What the hell do you want?”

“Where do we go from here?”

“Nowhere. You ended it.”

“Okay, no, I just said I needed space. I didn’t end it--”

“Right. I need to work.”

“Okay. We’ll meet later then,” you nod, standing up.

“I didn’t agree--”

“I’ll be back in a few hours. I got to head back to the precinct in fifteen minutes anyway.”

Rafael hates doing this, showing a moment of vulnerability, but he has to ask, “Are you staying? In New York, I mean.”

“For now,” you say, softening too. “Obviously. I talked to Liv for a long time, talked to my dad.. And… I don’t know if being back home is the best course for me either. I’m just trying to get back to some semblance of normal, you know?”

“Right.”

“I’ll see you,” you say, walking past him and leaving his office.

How many years would it be before he did figure you out?

------

The two of you don’t really talk much at first when you reunite later on that evening. Rafael draws the shades in his office, and it’s all pulling at clothes, at skin, at hair and you’re not proud of it but you also don’t really regret that you let it get that far. You missed him, in an annoyingly cloying way, and what was better than makeup sex when the two of you were still pissed off at each other?

“You need…. You need to go to therapy,” Rafael pants after coming down from his high.

You have to laugh at that. Maybe that was only the 7th most offensive thing someone had said to you after sex. And, annoyingly, he was right, even if his delivery and timing could’ve been light years better.

“Mm. I know,” you tell him, pulling him in to kiss him again, his sweaty chest sticking to your back as you pull off him to lay, or rather squeeze next to him on the couch.

“You need to--”

“Let’s not get into the shit I need to do right now, okay? I know I have things to sort out. So do you.”

“Right. I’m sorry. I’m trying to help, and I’m trying to understand, but--”

“Right now… don’t. Just fuck me like that again.”

Rafael chuckles - damn, it was only two days and you missed his laugh that much? It just tugs on your heartstrings in the worst way, but you suppose it proves how much you love him, how you couldn’t just put this down. You hated being the first to let your guard down, to bring yourself to his office not once but twice… but you couldn’t bear to lose him, either, and you’d hurt him where no one else had. It had to be you who offered a new start.

“I need to eat, mujer. And as tempting as that sounds… we need a change in location anyway.”

You nod in assent. “Fine.”

Neither of you get much sleep that night, as you split a bottle of wine and a pizza and talk, cry, fuck, whatever… but it’s a long sleepless night you wouldn’t have traded for the world. Things are different between you two, naturally, but something has to be shed to grow, and maybe you left some good things behind along with the bad things, but it’s how these things go. You can’t expect a relationship to be standing firm after a rejected proposal. For the moment, you’re just happy the two of you found a way to get back up.

As you curl into Rafael’s arms at four in the morning, you don’t feel at peace - lord knows you still have so many things to worry about - but you do feel better, and if that’s all you can get right now, you had to be okay with that.

Taglist (ask if you wanted to be added!) @stormtrooperofficerbrowneyes @thatesqcrush @law-nerd105 @blackeyedangel9805 @moon-river-drifter @the-baby-bookworm @dianilaws @xecq @lv7867 @teddybluesclues @averyhotchner @houseofthirst @stardust-fray

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #barba x reader #barba #Law & Order SVU #SVU fanfiction #rafael barba x you #barba x you

54 notes · View notes

yoondoze · 4 years

Text

make a wish | jjk - 2

jeongguk didn’t know it, but his wish came true. as the best things in life do, it comes back around.

alternatively: a compilation of scenes in the after of “make a wish” and how they pile up and weigh you down until it’s too much to handle.

pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader

word count: 6.4k

genre: angst, fluff, romance, best friend!au, mutual pining... shh

warnings: language. besides that, this is pretty tame! only slightly edited bc its 2 in the morning and i just want to get this up lol

a/n: didn’t mean for this to be so long but i got a little carried away. this wraps up make a wish, so i hope you guys like it! also, feedback is always appreciated in any way shape or form <3 muah!

It’s just as you’re leaving when Jeongguk’s phone rings. His eyes widen in disquiet as he stares at the number displayed at the top of his phone. In preparation, he shakes out his limbs dramatically and takes a deep, exaggerated breath. Considering it’s for your entertainment, you roll your eyes and wave him on.

He picks up.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other end is muffled as you try your best to listen in. Your heart pounds in anticipation, gripping onto the straps of your purse with white knuckles.

“Yeah. Okay. Okay, great.”

He paces around the room aimlessly. His fingers fiddle with a loose thread on his sweatpants as he listens closely. You’re sure he’s already sweating, more nervous than you could imagine despite the playful act he put on before answering.

“Yeah. That’s fine! Okay, thank you so much. Alright, bye.”

He’s facing away from you as he clicks the end call button. Just as you’re about to ask, he spins on his heel, lips pursed as he holds back a grin.

“Guess who got the job?”

A toothy grin spreads across his face as he singsongs. Jeongguk’s expression of pure excitement is a privilege to see. It’s impossible to deny how it lights up your own.

“Oh my god, you got the job?”

“I got the job!”

His bangs bounce as he jumps with both fists raised in glory. You squeal, going in for a tight hug and swaying back and forth as you congratulate him.

“I’m proud of you, Gguk,” you say into his shoulder. “Really, I am.”

And when you say it, you mean it. After so many months of struggling at his old company, he took the leap and applied for a position at a more well-known film studio. The late night introduction practices with you, which included him reciting prepared resume-esque lines and weeks of tiring interviews had paid off like you knew he deserved it to.

“Okay. I should get home,” you try, voice strained as his arms crush your diaphragm like walls in a deadly escape room. Upon hearing your winded sentence, he loosens his grip.

You don’t even think about what it might mean before you place a departing kiss to Jeongguk’s cheek, fueled by the elation running through you at the upward turn of events. It’s an accident, it just happens naturally as if it was something you’ve done a thousand times. It only hits you that you shouldn’t have after it’s already done.

Sure, you make out and kiss all the time, but the difference is that’s only when you’re taking advantage of the benefits you worked out. That kissing is all attraction, nothing chaste or romantic like this. So when you pull away from the hug, you expect to see his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and giving you a look of disgust.

“Uh-” you sputter, ever a wordsmith, trying to think of some rational explanation to excuse why you might have kissed him like that. The previous bouts of joy sparking in your heart fly out the window.

However, his eyes only show a mild, innocent surprise. At his silence, it doesn’t seem like he’s going to address it, and you assume he’ll assume it was just congratulatory. You can work with that.

“Bye. I’ll text you when I get home,” you blurt as untroubled as it can come, spinning on your heel and hurrying out the door. After closing it behind you, you slump back against it for a breath.

God, what were you thinking? Were you fucking stupid? Your fingers find your forehead finds as you try to convince yourself it wasn’t that bad. You’re prone to over analyzing, anyway. Jeongguk’s too occupied to think about it like that. He just got his new job, he has a thousand new things to worry about. He won’t read into it. If he does, he’ll think of it as a heat of the moment sort of thing.

Right?

Inside, Jeongguk pauses, staring at where you were standing just a second ago and scratches the back of his neck. The corners of his mouth turn up slowly.

He finds himself checking his phone every five minutes for a text from you, which never comes.

☆☆☆

At the end of the day, it was your fault.

It was your thoughtless action that made Jeongguk think that incorporating romantic gestures like that into your relationship could still be platonic. You rocked the boat with that one, but it wasn’t enough to completely capsize your vessel, and for that you were grateful.

Still, your heart now tore itself into smaller and smaller pieces every time he kissed you goodbye or grabbed your hand to swing it back and forth or wrapped his arm around you after cleaning up.

“By the way,” he says, tossing you one of his shirts from his place in front of his dresser. He pulls on a clean pair of boxers as you cover up. “There’s this work dinner I have to go to next week for networking and stuff, and it’s a buffet-type thing so they charge you for a spot. But, I found out that there is a couple’s discount and was wondering if maybe… you’d want to come with me?”

The hopeful sparkle in his eyes is one you just can’t ignore. Doing so would feel like a one-way ticket to hell, the only valid consequence for such a rotten crime.

“Yeah, sure.”

His smile at your compliance takes away all the apprehension you might have had, at least for a second. He wears it like a medal.

“Okay, good. I have to talk to a lot of people so I’d just feel better if you were there.”

Your brows draw together as you watch him get dressed. “But Gguk, you’re good at talking to people,” you say, going as far as to admit teasingly, “You’re fairly charming.”

He laughs, hopping into his slacks. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I don’t freak out inside. It’s scary!” The dark brown mop of hair atop his head jostles into his eyes as he adds, “There’s gonna be a lot of well-known people there so it’s my chance to make some connections.”

Despite that, you’re sure he’ll be just fine. By nature, Jeongguk is inviting and easy to talk to. That is one of the reasons why you became such fast friends, and probably why you lasted so long. Along with his agreeable presence, his captivating looks probably wouldn’t hurt in striking up a deal either, though you’d never say that to his face.

“What’s the dress code?”

“Semi-formal I think?” He says, looking out of the corner of his eye. “I don’t know what that constitutes in terms of dresses but…”

A certain memory tugs at the back of his head. He considers just leaving it there, maybe slightly sentimental for his usual image, but what’s the harm in bringing it up?

“Do you remember the dress you wore for my brother’s graduation dinner? The blue one?”

You, on the other hand, are just surprised he remembers something like that. It must have been years ago by now. Still, it’s a good memory. It was a breezy evening by the shore to celebrate his brother’s graduation from college. The dinner was nice, but the best part was when you and Jeongguk ended up sneaking off to go sit on the beach later on in the night.

Jeongguk is intertwined into nearly every lasting memory you make. It’s hard to imagine a world where he isn’t a part of each story you retell or each thought that crosses your mind.

“Oh, yeah, of course. It’s probably buried in my closet somewhere.”

He’s relieved you don’t question him.

You might have to do some digging when you get home to find it, but you definitely still have it. It’s not like you have the money to be purchasing new semi-formal dresses for every occasion.

“That would be good. Or something like it, I don’t know.” He finishes buttoning up his shirt and tugs on the cuffs to straighten them out. His reflection in the mirror sends you a beaming smile, at this point accepting how his heart rate seems to spike every time he sees you in one of his shirts nowadays. He’s gotten very good at lending them to you casually.

He continues after a glance at the clock tells him he’s been letting his time with you slip on for more time than he can afford even though he wishes he could stay. “Anyway, I have to get going so make sure you lock the door behind you when you leave.” And then he’s padding out the door, car keys jingling in his hand as he picks them up from the dish on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, and Y/N?” He pokes his head around the hallway entrance to see you. “There’s coffee out here for you when you want it.”

He dashes off before you have the chance to react or even say thank you, a sheepish grin tugging at his features as he walks to his car. When you go out to see, it’s already made with cream and sugar, just the way you like.

☆☆☆

“You look really pretty tonight, Y/N,” Jeongguk says, voice soft as ever, eyeing your dress as you step out of the car. “Seriously, I mean it.” The heels you wear click evenly like a metronome’s beat on the pavement as you walk around to join him at his side.

You ignore the heat in your cheeks, rather offering an endearing grin as you grip the clutch in your hand. “You too, Gguk. You’ll do great tonight. I wouldn’t be surprised if you made everyone here fall for you while you’re at it.”

His initial thought is to ask if that includes you, but his better judgment tells him it’s too bold. Instead, he just laughs and hands his car keys to the valet.

The dinner is a week later at a stunning three-floor, dimly lit fine dining restaurant decorated with dark hardwood and intricate chandeliers that make the soreness in your neck seem worth it while observing them.

Jeongguk cleans up nice, and even though you’ve already known this for a long time, you consider it a treat since this attire rarely, if ever, sees the light of day.

He props out his elbow and nudges for you to take it, which you so graciously do. Together you walk to the glass doors, through which you can see the party has just started. You can already hear the muffled music and chatter in the background.

“By the way,” he says, leaning down to your ear, like what he’s about to tell you is no big deal. “I… might have told my coworkers that we’re engaged-”

“Engaged!?” you whisper, eyes wide and staring at him incredulously.

So maybe he should have told you earlier. In his defense, he needed the extra time to produce an irrefutable excuse. In the end, it was only sort of reasonable, but he was hoping you would just roll with it. Isn’t that what the two of you always did?

“I know, I know! But listen. It just makes more sense in terms of you being my plus one and it also makes me seem like I have my shit together. And it’s always good for me to seem like I have my shit together, right?”

You sigh, narrowing your line of sight at him. “Okay. What do I do if someone asks why I’m not wearing my ring then?”

He mutters, “Oh, yeah.” Then he’s fishing through his side pocket and out comes a shiny silver ring with a small diamond placed into the center, held so flippant between his fingertips. “It’s my grandma’s. Borrowed it from home for this weekend.”

His heart pounds. Was that smooth enough? He has a lot of talents, but he isn’t sure if this was one of them just yet. Jeongguk tenses as he waits for your reaction. Best case scenario, his carefree attitude about it will rub off onto you.

“I figured it’d fit you,” he adds.

When it slides on perfectly, you know there’s no going back. Yet somehow, it is completely in character of him. You should have expected something like this because Jeongguk always has and always will be a man of spontaneity.

You’ll have to ask him how he knows your ring size sometime.

Inside, he introduces you to his coworkers. There are too many to remember but you catch a few here and there that you recall him talking about before, like Namjoon, the diligent Production Assistant and Taehyung, another member of the crew who he often eats lunch with. It’s an initial blur of faces and few-worded exchanges before you can take a breather off to the side.

“Not bad?” he asks, his thumb tracing circles over your knuckles. The way it makes your heart flutter is addictive. He has you in his palm and he doesn’t even know it. Unfortunately, you don’t know if it’s something you can give up yet, not without it being messy.

There’s a short line behind a board that displays the seating arrangement, and though it’s moving quickly, it allows you a moment of space from the other guests.

A tired smile pulls at your lips. “Not bad.” You squeeze his hand in yours.

The people in front of you move from the board into the dining hall so both of you can inch up. Jeongguk’s eyes trace the small handwriting, eventually spotting the two of you in the far corner of the room.

Dinner goes well, and Jeongguk does the most of the talking. It’s nice to see him so bright as he laughs with his coworkers. It’s that part of him that he’s had since he was a kid, the part that made him fit in so naturally and charm every person around him. Seeing it out in the open and no longer repressed from emotional baggage is heartwarming. Compared to a few months ago, you might not recognize him at all.

After a while, Jeongguk wipes his mouth with his napkin and pushes his chair out from the table. “Alright, I’m gonna head to the bar lounge for a little while and see who I can talk to. Are you gonna be fine on your own?”

He’s nervous, you can tell. By the way his eyes dart around the room, the way he’s biting the inside of his bottom lip.

“Yeah, go ahead,” you nod, taking a sip of water. “I’ll just stick around here.”

He gives himself a once over and wipes his palms on his slacks.

You tap his shoulder, bringing him down so you can whisper to him a small, “You’ll do great.”

He pulls back with a shy, one-sided smile. “Thank you. I hope so. Text me if you need anything.” Effortlessly, he plants a chaste kiss to your cheekbone that has your face ablaze and excuses himself from the table. The feeling of his lips on your skin sticks well after he’s gone.

Ryujin, the script supervisor, puts down her drink with a roll of her eyes. “Finally, all the boys are gone. I’ve been trying to talk to you the entire time but he’s always butting in!”

It pulls a laugh from you. “No, no, he’s just trying to help,” you explain, “I’m new to everyone here so he just doesn’t want me to feel awkward.”

“Yada yada,” says a bubbly Chaeryoung, a PA, waving it off with her hand. “I expected him to be protective with how much he talks about you, but wow. It’s cute though. Sometimes I wish I had someone like that.”

“Yeah, I’m really lucky,” you nod, reminded that you’re just pretending. You’re lucky, but not that lucky. “But… wait, what kind of stuff does he say about me?”

Ryujin chortles at your worry. “Oh, only good things. Just stuff you do together, jokes, those kinds of things. You’re involved in a lot of stories in some way or another.”

“Like, “This one time in high school, Y/N and I got in a fight...” or “Last week, we went to this new brunch spot and Y/N got this sandwich…’” Chaeryoung clarifies, but it only makes you want to pry further.

As she says it, both of the memories come floating back clear as day. You can’t remember what exactly you argued over, but it had been when you were paired as partners in a history class. The sandwich, you recall, was heaven on earth. The images are picture-perfect despite how they’d been buried.

The fact that Chaeryoung remembered things you didn’t is mildly startling, but you’re more surprised that Jeongguk shared so much. Not that it’s an issue, you just didn’t think you’d find yourself being perceived by so many people you had no prior knowledge of. The idea of him spilling your high school gossip fits like a puzzle to his persona, but the thought never occurred to you that he might think about you when you’re not there.

But you won’t let yourself become too optimistic.

“Yeah,” you laugh, “I think it’s different since we grew up together as family friends. He’s in a lot of my stories, too.”

“Ugh, that’s cute,” Ryujin sighs. If only. “So when did you start liking each other? Or start dating?”

You take a deep breath as if you’re looking back on the day when in reality you’re just trying to come up with the most believable love story you can manage. It’s also your most ideal. Maybe if your current situation went the way you wanted.

“I think we liked each other at different times over the years. Y’know, I liked him when we were kids, he liked me when we were teenagers, kind of on and off like that. But sometime after college, I think the cycle lined up once and for all and…“

Do you think you could manifest it by speaking it into existence?

“...here we are.”

That thought was stupid. You make yourself forget about it. Stop with the hope, remember?

When you finish your spiel, you think you’ve finally made it in the clear. Until another question comes.

“So what was your first date like? Was it weird?”

You know they’re just trying to make conversation, but god, you’re not ready for this. You’re preoccupied with other problems. If only they knew how your brain was short-circuiting in an effort to think up an explanation that will make you sound versed and most importantly, convincing. You go with what you wish had happened.

“Um, a little bit, but since we had been close friends for such a long time, I think we had that mutual understanding of how things were so we could laugh about it. We just…” you say, shaking your head along, lips pursing as your train of thought rolls through the detailed daydream you know so well. “...went out to dinner one night... and it was sort of a process to transition to something more romantic, I guess, but it just kind of happened.”

But it feels nice to be Jeongguk’s girl. Even if you’re just playing a part. If you sink yourself into the atmosphere, tune into the clinking of the glasses, and the relaxing jazz in the background, you can pretend you’re really engaged and sharing your love story to whoever will listen.

Would it hurt too much to hold out on it one day become reality?

“I’m always so happy when the company hosts these events,” Chaeryoung comments, leaning back in her chair to take in the room. “It’s the only time I can come to a place like this since you know I can’t afford it with my own money.” A small talk sort of laugh bubbles up from her as she says it. There is an inkling of confusion that strikes you at her words, but you think you’ll just brush it off for the sake of being casual.

Ryujin looks to you as she adds, “And they even let you bring a plus one for free! You know, I was thinking of bringing my boyfriend, but I just felt like it might have been too soon…”

Your brows furrow as you recall the conversation with Jeongguk. Didn’t he say that it was a pay per guest scenario?

“So the company pays for these dinners?” you ask out of pure curiosity and with no hint of suspicion weaved in your tone.

“Yeah!” says Chaeryoung. “It’s all from the company’s budget since this is technically a networking event. Usually, people swap ideas or come up with deals that turn into projects a couple of weeks down the line.”

You nod along as she explains eagerly, but all you can hear is that there never was a price to pay to begin with, and more importantly meaning that there never was a discount. Not one that Jeongguk needed you around for.

But why would he lie?

Maybe Jeongguk was embarrassed asking for your company or didn’t want his ego bruised by telling you it was free and he wouldn’t have to pay for you. It’s the benefit of the doubt for your best friend (and love of your life, but that’s a separate issue) that makes it your first thought. In reality, thinking about the boy you know, it doesn’t make sense. At this point, he shouldn’t have to feel like that when it comes to you.

Whatever the case may be, you hope that he knows he’d never need an excuse to invite you somewhere. It’s not like you’d ever refuse. You’d never refuse him, not in any life.

☆☆☆

It’s the middle of the night when another bad dream jolts you awake with a pounding heartbeat. Your eyes flutter open, brimmed with tears, to reveal that the moon is still high in the sky above the towering buildings, and a shift to the side facing the nightstand lets you know you have another three hours before you have to start your day and leave Jeongguk’s apartment.

The last few weeks, the dreams have been growing more and more common. Not enough for you to dread going to sleep just yet, but definitely something you’re quickly getting sick of. At this point, you’re tired of going to sleep just to wake up freaked out in a cold sweat. You chalk it up to the stress piling on you, not only that of regular adult life but that of your messy relationship with your best friend.

How ironic that must be, considering the whole reason it started was to relieve stress when now it’s your main source.

You empty your lungs with a shaky sigh and slide to the edge of the bed, intending to fetch a glass of water to calm yourself down. Before you can reach your feet, Jeongguk’s arm catches you at your waist, and then you’re being reeled back under the covers.

“Easy,” he mumbles, his voice grainy and low from sleep, “You’re fine. Talk to me.”

You swallow thickly, the scenes from your subconscious flashing back to you. “Um, that’s alright. Not a big deal.”

You wish he’ll just leave it at that and fall back asleep like he usually does. When his breathing steadies, you think you’re in the clear, but you are horribly mistaken when he yawns and adds, “You’ve been having a lot of nightmares recently.”

Is it another prompt for you to talk? You’re not sure what to say.

In fact, you’re never sure what to say anymore. Never sure what’s too much, what’s too little, what the difference is between what you say and what you mean. The line blurred months ago and now you’re wandering blind.

You’d enjoy moments like this if it wasn’t for the stark fact that the person you’re with doesn’t love you like you love him.

“Yeah…” you agree. Right now, your chest is heavy and not strong enough to support a conversation. You hope that he’s not too drowsy to take the hint.

A small sound from him makes it seem like another sleepy sentence is in the works, but fortunately, the tension in your chest begins to fade when nothing comes out. His hair shuffles against the pillow and he presses a featherlight kiss to the back of your neck, lips lingering there for a second too long before he sinks back into his position.

When you’re sure he’s slipped under the veil of slumber again, you carefully slide out of his grasp and squeeze into your own space at the edge of the bed. You don’t know how much longer you can last like this.

☆☆☆

“She texted me.”

The sentence makes you stop chewing. Your movements stop aside from an absent blinking, gears spinning overtime to process it.

“She uh, she wants to meet up,” he tacks on. “I think I should go.”

“Why would you do that?”

Jeongguk slowly twists the pasta around his fork, taking a blatant newfound interest in his dinner. He takes a deep breath, but when he opens his mouth, the words catch in his throat.

“I don’t know. I think we need to talk about what happened.”

You scoff, and he takes an immediate offense to it. His eyebrows knit together as a wounded expression takes form on his features.

“What happened? Gguk, she dumped you because you were going through a hard time and she didn’t want to ‘deal’ with it.”

It’s not just you playing the protective best friend role and trying to talk sense into him. It’s not jealousy, either. And sure, maybe you never liked her to begin with, but for good reason. She ended up doing exactly what you thought she would - shattering his heart into a million pieces and leaving it for someone else to pick up the pieces. And considering that’s been you on a multitude of occasions, you think your point of view is valid.

“Listen, I don’t blame her… That can be really hard on someone.”

“So it’s okay for them to just pop in out of the blue, say they can’t handle your emotional issues and bounce? Someone who they claimed to love for over a year and a half? Someone who they were thinking about marrying?”

Jeongguk purses his lips as you speak, a hefty exhale coming through his nose in frustration.

“I just miss her sometimes!”

And you really wish Jeongguk would love you back, but we can’t all get our way, can we?

Not to throw yourself a pity party, though. It’s not like he owes you anything for what you do because you brought it on yourself. He doesn’t control your feelings, even when you want to blame the nerve he has for smiling because it makes you get all jittery.

“She doesn’t even give a shit about me anymore! She’s out with other guys, doing all this shit, posting it everywhere. I… I loved her so bad and she acts like she has no clue.”

You give him pep talks when he’s about to go out with someone else. You comfort him when he’s distraught over someone else. You love him when he loves someone else.

And then-

“You don’t know what that’s like.”

You freeze. Your heart leaps to your throat, closing the gate on your lungs until you forcibly open them again as subtle as possible. A stinging feeling you know all too well burns in your eyes as you try to hold back. Jeongguk doesn’t notice in the slightest as his gaze is still fixated on his food.

Your initial reaction is anger. All you want to do is yell, tell him wrong, tell him that you know it all too well because you love him and he’s pathetically oblivious whether by his nature or by choice. Everything you want to say, shouts and confessions, float across your mind and bounce around the walls as each one brings you further to opening your mouth and letting them spill. Then you just want to cry.

But you won’t do any of that. Your situation won’t allow it, not if you want to risk losing him. It’s not a risk you’re willing to take, even if it means suffering in it by yourself and letting the irony of his words go unrealized.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you sigh, the fork gripped by your white knuckles tapping mindlessly against the side of the bowl as you swallow the feeling back down. Your hand comes up to scratch at the corner of your eye, wiping away the wetness beginning to pool composedly so he won’t notice.

“I don’t.”

☆☆☆

It’s on a Tuesday evening a couple of weeks in the future when you next see him.

Maybe more than a couple. Maybe a few. Maybe too many. Just enough for his tone to turn to something more confrontational than just casual when he sends you a text saying that he wants to see you again. Particularly when he specified that no, he needed to see you again.

He suggests the park by the river. You’ve been there a few times with him for lunches and to hang out, but the energy is different this time around. Both of you know why you’re here, even though you never thought you’d have to be.

For a while, you didn’t want to make things weird, so you’d come over when he’d ask and leave as soon as you could in an attempt to curb the damage on your heart. It wasn’t until three weeks ago that you actively started flaking on him. You’d let his calls ring until he hung up or left a message and say you were busy when there was absolutely nothing going on.

He stopped by your apartment at one point, too. You were freaking out after he texted you he’d be visiting, pacing around and wondering what to do, what to respond, if to respond at all. The knock at your door came sooner than you expected. Before you were about to pull it open and face what you’d been so casual about denying for so long, it occurred to you: You could simply not open the door.

So you waited. He knocked a few more times, sighing so loud you could hear through the door. He called out your name softly, as if he knew you were right on the other side. He stayed for a few more minutes. Then came the sound of his footsteps padding away. You were safe for another day, but the awful feeling stuck in your chest for days.

It stuck in his, too. He knew he should have never gone that far, never said anything that night, but he also wondered if he could have done it any other way. Standing at your door and having to face the fact that you were undeniably steering clear of him, because of him, was a nightmare. It was stupid of him, but you’d see past it - wouldn’t you?

And now you’re seeing him live and in person for the first time in god knows how long. It’s a foreign feeling you’ve never felt with Jeongguk before, and you hate it. It’s been long enough for the sense of familiarity to fade, or at least be buried by time.

Is this how a comet feels when it passes earth again after so many years apart? Does it feel new every time seeing how things have changed, or are they old friends who pick up where they left off?

“ So… what’s been going on with you?” Jeongguk asks nonchalantly, leaning back on his elbows and shaking the hair out of his eyes. “It’s been a while.”

“Uhh, I don’t know,” you shrug, vision focused on the calm waters in front of you. You tug at the grass under your fingertips, loosely hugging your knees to your chest as you sit beside him. “Not much I guess. Just work as usual, you know.”

“Yeah, but how are you?” he presses, trying to find your eyes as you avoid his.

He knew something was wrong from the evident distance and your attitude, but he didn’t think it’d be this bad. He didn’t think he’d fucked up this bad.

Your laugh is awkward and forced. “I’ve been fine. Been good.”

Thinking about the past few weeks, it’s not hard to remember but incredibly hard to grasp. It’s the same moments over and over, sourced from a lonely routine. Day by day spending time with yourself, missing Jeongguk, thinking about texting him but never doing it. Wash, rinse, repeat.

His face turns from you and you miss it the second you can’t see it. The feeling is off and both of you know it. He sucks his lower lip into his mouth, biting at it as he thinks of what to say. If the wrong thing comes out, he’s worried he’ll chase you even further away. It took so much to even get you here.

“Listen, can I be honest with you?” he says.

Honesty is the best policy, isn’t it? He’s tired of beating around the bush. The two of you know so much more than bland small talk.

“Sure.”

He takes a deep breath. “I always thought that nothing could ever be uncomfortable with you and me. Like we could be straightforward and blunt without it being weird. But things right now are really weird and I don’t know what happened. You’re avoiding me and you don’t want to see me. It’s not like it used to be.”

Your nails scrape beneath each other, entangled in your lap. Clearly things aren’t the same, but you don’t have the energy to be snarky. There are so many things to address and you’re ignorant on where to start.

“I know there wasn’t a discount for the work dinner.”

He nods, looking out over the river. “Yeah, figured.”

“So why’d you lie?”

It’s his turn to shrug. “I just wanted you there and I didn’t know how to ask you. I… was starting to feel the shift and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. Saying that just gave me an excuse to take any of the weight off.”

He adds quietly, “Your turn.”

“Gguk,” you start, shaking your head as you try to find the right words. You think of the kiss, the dinner, the ring, the argument.

“We act like a couple. We do things couples do. We pretend we’re a couple. But... we aren’t a couple.”

He’s silent. He knows where you’re going. He knew it before you even got here because if you didn’t bring it up first, he would have.

“I think you already know what’s going on, but if you need it spelled out for you, I kinda caught feelings for you. And then you give me your grandmother’s wedding ring and tell me you love me and it hurts so fucking bad because I know you don’t mean it like that. Not the way I wish you did.”

The words dissipate into the fresh evening air, soon filled by delicate chirps and birdsongs. Distant laughter floats around the park, with muffled ferry horns layered behind it all.

“How do you know?”

Your hand pauses, chlorophyll green blades pulled taut between your fingers. No fucking way.

“What?”

He scratches the back of his neck before locking his eyes with yours. “How do you know... that I don’t mean it like that?”

He’s not playing with you, is he? No, he wouldn’t. You respond slightly confused, hesitant to lean into his words just yet.

“Are you saying that you do?”

He laughs and it makes your chest feel like it might burst open. “You’re kidding, right? I’ve been saying it. I mean, I thought I was being obvious.”

You suppress the excitement bubbling in your stomach for a second longer to throw him a questionable expression with an extended palm for emphasis. “You told me you wanted to go see your ex-girlfriend and were talking about how you loved her.”

He exhales through his teeth as he squints at you. “Yeah, that went a little far...”

“Only a little?”

“I’m apologizing, so let me, please?” He says, eyes wide with a small smile tweaking up at his lips. “It was stupid. I wanted to see what you would say or if you would get jealous. ‘Cause I thought you might have felt the same and at the time that was the only thing I could think of doing.”

Your expression falls.

“Wait, so did you actually meet up with her?”

“No, no!” He exclaims, rushing to refute such a bizarre idea. “Yes, she texted me, but I said no. Everything you said was right, so… it wasn’t worth it.”

He thinks he’s done, until he sees your stare still lingering on him. What’d he miss? He flops over on his stomach, elbows in the grass as his chin rests on his palms to look at you.

“You also said I didn’t know what it was like to love someone who didn’t love me back.”

A cheeky grin grows on him. “Okay... but technically you don’t because I loved you back the whole time.” One of his arms lowers to the ground, his fingers finding your own. He weaves them together with an affectionate squeeze. “You just didn’t know.”

The way your heart flutters is different this time. Gone are the tiring nerves and teary eyes and the weight of stress on your shoulders. It’s a comfortable sort of excitement, one that you’re in love with almost as much as you are with the boy himself.

“Since when?” you ask shyly, feeling the tingle in your cheeks.

It’s a relief to have Jeongguk back. A life without him wouldn’t be one you could ever get used to.

He was there at the start, he’s here now, and he will be here for as long as he possibly can. When it comes to you, there’s no doubt. He’s yours every time.

His deep brown eyes sparkle under the setting sun, golden and glowing, as he makes a point to find your own. Tone dulcet and tender, he says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Since always.”

#jungkook scenario #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #btsguild #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook x reader #jungkook oneshot #jungkook x you #jungkook fic #jungkook imagine #bts fanfic #bts angst #bts x reader #yoondoze

177 notes · View notes

unfortunate17 · 3 years

Note

Oh, so much delicious angst... If you're up to it, 4 or 23 from the promt list for obikin. Thanks in advance.

I’m stupid because I didn’t know which prompt list you meant, did both, and then realized you most definitely meant the dialogue one LOL.

So here is 23 from HERE (“I would’ve died for you.”) and 23 Angst from HERE (“When did you stop loving me?”) combined!

Happy New Year!

I re-wrote this like 6 times before I gave up, hopefully it’s still reasonably enjoyable to read 😩

Anakin brings him home from a sub-surface level bar six weeks after Obi-Wan returns from Naboo. Obi-Wan has already had a few too many drinks, wallowing in his misery. Even the bartender-bot had started to look at him with pity.

It’s more than he can say for Anakin.

Anakin simply pulls him into a speeder without so much as a glance, deposits him into his refresher, and shoves him into bed once he’s sure Obi-Wan’s not going to retch or hurt himself. There’s a calculated coldness to his actions, all of Anakin’s usual playfulness has all but vanished. Much like his possessions from their quarters.

He still remembers that morning clearly. He’d leaned over to drop a hasty kiss on Anakin’s cheek, already late for his morning meeting, when Anakin had bristled uncomfortably. Obi-Wan had looked at him with an unspoken question spelled out on his tongue, but Anakin had only shrugged, mumbled something about how weird it was seeing Obi-Wan without his usual facial hair.

By the time he’d returned, Anakin had been gone. His tools and droid parts and clothes nowhere to be found. Ahsoka hadn’t been able to look him in the eyes when Obi-Wan had asked her about him.

Now, for a moment, the two of them regard each other. Anakin looks tired, the area under his eyes smeared dark, skin pallid like he hadn’t been sleeping. The sight sends a pang through Obi-Wan and without thought, he reaches out to draw Anakin close.

Anakin flinches away immediately. “I’ve brought you home like Master Windu asked,” he says stiffly, “I’ll be going now.”

Obi-Wan watches him shuffle, ice spreading steadily in his veins. The anger, he had been expecting, but never this stony silence. Truthfully, he’d take anything, any outburst, if it only meant Anakin would look at him again with something other than steely blankness.

He reaches out to catch one of Anakin’s hands. If Obi-Wan had been sober, he’d have probably lost his nerve by now, but alcohol has always made him far braver than he should be. He drags Anakin down until he’s kneeling between the V of his knees and presses a hand against the sharp cut of his jaw. They’re eye-level now, even if Anakin isn’t looking at him.

“Come by for breakfast tomorrow, my dear,” he murmurs gently. “I’ll make flatckaes.”

“I’m a better cook than you.”

“Perhaps after then,” Obi-Wan swallows. “I’ve missed spending time with you. We can do whatever you’d like,” he attempts a cracked smile, “I won’t even make you meditate.”

Anakin doesn’t raise his eyes from where he’s fixed them on the floor, but Obi-Wan feels his jaw work tightly under his fingers. “I’m training with Ahsoka tomorrow morning.”

“At night then,” Obi-Wan tries, biting back an unexpected sob, “maybe we could – catch a holodrama?”

“I can’t. I promised Padmé I’d see her.”

“Afterwards?”

Anakin lets out a long rush of air. “Obi-Wan – ”

The tone makes Obi-Wan flinch. He looks at Anakin, slides his hand upwards, past the smooth skin of his cheekbones, and up into his lovely tangle of golden hair. He tries to memories the curve of Anakin’s mouth, the furrow of his brow. Thinks of the way Anakin’s eyes used to light up at the very sight of him.

“The day after then,” Obi-Wan whispers. He leans in to kiss him, the motion nearly unconscious, but Anakin startles backwards once more.

Obi-Wan isn’t proud of the sound that escapes him. It’s a broken thing, punched out of his sternum, almost a whimper. He tightens his hold on Anakin when he tries to stand. “Anakin, please,” he begs. The whiskey makes his tongue thick, the words difficult to shape in his mouth.

Anakin allows his grip, sits back down. He squeezes his eyes shut, pained, and Obi-Wan’s heart hammers at the thought of causing it.

It was really only a few weeks ago that they were pressed together in this very bed, Anakin laughing into his neck, rubbing cold feet into his shins. The notion is unthinkable somehow, makes Obi-Wan ache.

Now, there is only silence.

Obi-Wan clears his throat, and the sound is loud, a cacophony in a moment in which even the force dares not to breathe. He’s not pleased with the words that fall out of him next, but Obi-Wan can’t quite hold them back.

“When did you stop loving me?” he asks, then immediately regrets it. Obi-Wan doesn’t want an answer, not truly.

At this, Anakin’s gaze snaps back up to him. He looks even more tired now, face drawn. But his eyes still widen in what Obi-Wan thinks is shock. Or maybe surprise.

Obi-Wan waits, but Anakin doesn’t speak, providing no justification or answers. He simply sits back on his haunches and looks miserable, put-out. His shoulders are bent under a weight that he should never have to carry. Obi-Wan grits his teeth against the knowledge that he’s somehow added to it.

Finally, Anakin sighs. “I should go.”

Obi-Wan settles his free hand over Anakin’s cheek, brushes a thumb over a lovely cheekbone. “Please don’t.”

Anakin allows the motion, but his brows furrow in what Obi-Wan knows is anger. “Why not?” he snaps. And finally, finally, there’s anger. A dark corner of Obi-Wan’s mind relishes having Anakin’s attention again. “I thought you were dead. I mourned you, Obi-Wan. You knew how I felt about you and you used it against me to sell your act. I would’ve done anything for you, Master. I would’ve died for you and you didn’t even care.”

“It was a poor decision,” Obi-Wan admits miserably. “I cannot tell you how much I regret it.”

“You’re only sorry because I’m upset,” Anakin snarls in response, “because I’m no longer in your bed. You came back and tried to pretend like nothing was wrong. Like what you did didn’t even matter.”

The sheer depths of his failures are difficult to consider for too long. Obi-Wan’s throat hurts. The force reveals nothing, empty and cold as it is, his connection whiskey-dulled.

And really, Anakin is right.

What does Obi-Wan’s apology even mean? Obi-Wan, who has always kept his emotions close to his chest, guarded, even when Anakin had expressed his desire for more, asked for something as simply given as verbal reassurance. He’d spent so long working through his own feelings, his own struggles, that Obi-Wan has never stopped to think that perhaps one day, Anakin might no longer be interested in waiting.

“That’s not true Anakin,” he insists, bringing Anakin close. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

Anakin resists. Obi-Wan watches him, desperation rising with every breath. He thinks of never really seeing Anakin again, of being alone in these wretched quarters. Thinks of watching Anakin with another, someone far more worthy, who would never dream of betraying or hurting him.

Even more horrifyingly, Obi-Wan thinks of someone in his own place. Of someone basking in the warmth of Anakin’s love, his fierce loyalty, enjoying the gentleness of his hands, the curve of his spine in bed.

Obi-Wan is going to be sick.

Tears glob in his throat, splinter at the corner of his eyes. The burn of alcohol in his veins is waning now, a chill settling in his bones. “Will you ever love me again?” he asks at last.

The ensuing silence is enough to make Obi-Wan’s vision go blurry with tears.

Anakin’s posture doesn’t soften, but emotion ripples across his face. Obi-Wan watches the line of his throat as he swallows, a muscle jumping in his jaw. “Obi-Wan,” his voice is tight, “gods, please don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan offers again. He forces himself to let go of Anakin then, even if he can’t help but trace his shoulders one last time. Obi-Wan rakes his eyes over Anakin’s face, the softness of his features, the brightness of his eyes. “I love you,” he presses a fist to his mouth, trembling, “You will always be the single most important – “

“Stop,” Anakin says. His mouth twists unhappily and he leans forward, tucking his forehead into Obi-Wan’s chest. His voice is muffled now. “Please. I can’t bear to see you like this, Master.”

Obi-Wan heaves in response, shivering. He cups the back of Anakin’s head, rubs at the nape of his neck gently. Tries to pour what he can never express into what remains of their bond.

Anakin shakes his head once, the motion decisive, before he leans back and maneuvers Obi-Wan into bed. The world spins for a moment as Obi-Wan’s head settles into the pillow. He wants to say more, but he’s not sure if he has any words of value left.

But then Anakin is climbing into bed beside him, folding around him. He thumbs clumsily at the wetness on Obi-Wans cheeks even as Obi-Wan clings to him like he might vanish at any moment.

“I was angry,” Anakin admits quietly, words trembling on a shaky breath. He rubs Obi-Wan’s back, tucks his face into his neck. “But I didn’t want to hurt you like this. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, my love.”

“No,” Anakin holds him tighter. He kisses Obi-Wan’s head. “You’ve always taught me not to seek revenge. What I’ve done is – this isn’t what I wanted.”

“Anakin – ”

Anakin shushes him, pulling the blanket up around the both of them. His chest trembles. “Sleep, Master. We’ll talk more about this in the morning.”

Obi-Wan curls an arm around him, tries to calm his racing heart. “You’ll stay?”

“Always.”

#izazov #obikin #my writing #my bf took one look at this and went this needs to have a happy ending its the new year so I changed it #IDK I WROTE so many versions of this and hate all of them AHH IDK IDK IDK IM SORRY #ask #obikin fic

51 notes · View notes

fizzingwizard · 3 years

Text

Ep 38 is another good one! We are on a roll. I have some thoughts on why and whether I could still end up whining in future episodes again... but for now let’s just enjoy the moment.

We are finally catching up with Yamato (and Jou) who has the sort of episode you’d expect from the brooding lone wolf of the group. I wish they’d pushed it just a liiiittle further than they did and I’ll tell you why below. Still, the point is we learned some things we needed to about Yamato, and with some higher than usual stakes (for a side plot) than usual.

Pic of the day, though, is all about his highness, our lord and savior, JOOOOOOOOO.

You will bow before him, peasant!

More below.

Like I said, the stakes are a bit high this week:

Right off the bat, Gabumon’s been beaten, captured, and tied to a cross...

... where Mephismon (this guy) is apparently planning to kill him in ritual sacrifice.

In other words, this episode is: Yamato and Gabumon Go To Digimon Hell

I mean... Mephismon even looks scary. Very Satanic. Gives me chill, lol. Probably not as scary for kids who didn’t grow up being hit over the head with a Bible every day by evangelicals, though. Sometimes I look back on my childhood and just think “wtf?”

That being said, Mephismon is the sort of lackey you’d expect Millenniumon to have, much more in the vein of Devimon or DarkKnightmon. Aka, pretty darn scary. I was so frustrated for so long by all the small fry Digimon Taichi “struggled” with by himself for no apparent reason - they felt like filler episodes, tbh - filler for a show that has no reason to have filler!

And I STILL do NOT understand why we got WarGreymon’s evolution over a totally forgettable nobody Digimon, but these recent episodes with Koushirou, Mimi, and Yamato have all been serious crises where the characters put everything on the line, and yet nobody evolves. It’s not that I think they HAD to evolve here - I can see they’re leading up to it and since that guarantees more focus on them in the future, I’m totally down for that. What I don’t understand is why Taichi DIDN’T get that. Why play WarGreymon so early? The episode itself did involve Taichi challenging himself, but it all felt so setup. And so unmemorable that it’s just hard to care.

Anyway... I’m ranting about things that didn’t happen in this episode. Rant over xD Back to Yamato.

His desperate play to rescue Gabumon by himself goes as well as you’d expect.

Yamato: I’m too cool for this shit

He is chased by those gas mask-wearing Digimon whose name I forget. But they are conveniently blown back by the gush of a timely geyser. Geyser, you say? That means hot springs must be nearby. If hot springs are nearby...

Jou: Now I know what it feels like to be Team Rocket!

Jou falls out of the sky and right into Yamato’s path. Dressed in nothig but a towel, he looks to Yamato like a scrawny, nerdy, guardian angel.

Yamato: You’ve gotta help me, Clarence. Fly me to the top of the mountain.

Jou: I can’t, I haven’t got my wings.

Yamato: Yeah, you’re about what I’d expect my guardian angel to be like...

So, Jou immediately starts to chatter at Yamato, and it looked to me like Yamato might be getting annoyed. If this were 99 Adventure, he’d had snapped and said something like, “Can’t you see Gabumon’s gone? Aren’t you even going to ask about that or do you only think about yourself?”

But this is 2020 Yamato, and 2020 Digimon Adventure, where the kids are all Very Nice and don’t have much in the way of flaws. That’s my number one complaint about this show so far. So Yamato just waits for the moment where Jou needs to take a breath to break and ask for his help rescuing Gabumon.

(Gomamon reminds Jou to get dressed first, thankfully.)

Up on the mountain peak, Mephismon sacrifices the Data of poor blue!Elecmon to the fragment of Millenniumon he is guarding.

At first I was like, why do Yamato and Jou know about these crystals?? But then they’re like, we heard from Taichi over the digivice. Ah, of course. I kind of miss the old digivices that pre-date smartphones :P

Yamato explains how they ended up in this situation, and I REALLY like this. They came across Mephismon sacrificing innocent Digimon on their journey to reunite with the rest of the team, and it was Gabumon who insisted they had to stay and save them. Gabumon!

So this is not the first time we’ve seen the Digimon partners take initiative this season. The lack of personal flaws and personality clashes are my least favorite part of the reboot, but the increased agency of the Digimon themselves is probably my favorite. When DanDevimon swallowed Taichi, it was Agumon’s pain that caused his warp evolution. Not saying Taichi had nothing to do with it, but the focus was certainly way more on how losing his partner sent Agumon over the edge. Now we’ve got Yamato actually arguing with Yamato because he feels so passionate about rescuing the captured Digimon.

Yamato’s not heartless, of course - he just prioritizes the people closest to him first. And I have no idea if we’ll see much more of this sort of willpower from Gabumon - it’s partly there for convenience, since no one else is around. (Last time, it was Sora who wanted to help others at their own risk and Yamato clashed with her over the same thing.) The other reason is, this is the episode where we find out how Yamato and Gabumon became friends - which is especially important for the guy who gets the Crest of Friendship - so they needed something a bit more meaty than “the proof of our friendship is I follow you wherever you go and do whatever you want.”

But I love it because it really makes them feel like partners.

Of course, Yamato can’t say no in the end, so he and Gabumon go to save the Digimon. But they’re overwhelmed.

The vision of his partner’s bony ass shrinking into the distance as bullets fly overhead will haunt his dreams always ;^;

Yamato: Once a psychic read my palm and said I have an unusually short life line. I guess she was right. But she also said I’d marry Emma Stone and have eight children.

Jou: are you sure she wasn’t just playing a game of MASH?

While Yamato and Jou plan their strategy, we switch back to the rest of the team, where the girls are having tea time.

I know I complain about this every time but WHO DA HECK decided Sora and Mimi should wear the same color scheme look what you did now they both blend into the couch

The boys talk a bit of shop, then Takeru reveals that he and Yamato don’t live together because their parents fight and don’t get to see each other because they both work so much. He doesn’t really come out and say “they’re divorced” but he says he and his brother are separated. Even though Yamato calls Takeru to talk a lot, Takeru still feels sad that there are things he misses since they live so far apart.

Taichi assures Takeru that Yamato will be fine, pointing out that Yamato had already been adventuring in the digital world for an unknown amount of time before Taichi’s group ever got there. Wow, haven’t referenced that in literally ages. I’m glad these things are finally relevant again. Also like how it seems to confirm Taichi still kinda holds special admiration for Yamato. That seemed like the route they were going way back when Yamato joined the group in episode 8, but then it wasn’t touched on till now.

Then we get the long-awaited Yamato & Gabumon origin story! Yamato appears to have arrived in the digital world in a similar way that Taichi did. He looks the same, so probably it wasn’t a huge time difference (in human world time anyway).

At first, Yamato’s like, “leave me alone. I don’t have any interest in the digital world. Where’s the exit?” And Tsunomon says, “Fine, then I will just protect you whether you want me to or not.”

Yamato: Reeeeeally wishing Ikkakumon could fly, lol

Yamato recalls how, despite his chilly behavior, Tsunomon still jumped to his rescue.

(The rescue involved Ikkakumon shooting torpedoes up the mountainside so Yamato can grab them and climb to the top. What I don’t get is why this didn’t draw Mephismon’s attention :P I guess he figured his gas mask lackeys would handle it but uh.)

Past!Yamato rescues Tsunomon, who is so touched that he is able to evolve. Yamato makes an attempt to remain aloof...

... but in the end he turns into Taichi :P

So that’s the origin story! It’s more or less what I figured. Kind of surprised we didn’t get any scenes of them in the digital world proper, since I got the impression Yamato was familiar with that world as well as this plane that seems to be a sort of interface between worlds. But maybe not, who knows.

What they try to do here is set up that Yamato is an aloof type who tries to avoid relationships. But he snaps out of it and warms up to people so fast that it’s hard to really appreciate it. Plus he doesn’t really do much to push them away other than say “leave me alone.” Eh.

Lol it’s funny because he’s strapped to the cross but because his leg fur hangs like that, from behind it looks like he’s just standing there....

Mephismon starts to sacrifice Gabumon!

A power blast of dark energy starts to pulse from the mountain, sending everyone to their knees. Jou thinks fast and hides inside his bag. Nylon is good at blocking out satanic chanting after all.

His eyes fall on... his textbooks! Social studies, chemistry, the periodic table, Japanese history memorization textbook... these useless books! Could they actually be useful?!?!?!

no.

no they couldn’t

Yamato: Ahh! That’s it, I have got to start lifting more.

But wait - Jou gets an idea. There’s something that calms him when he’s stressed and that’s... chanting passages from his rote memorization technique books x’D So he sits down and... it’s basically a throw back to the Bakemon episode in 99. I believe he’s chanting things from the Japanese history book, but as I’ve never been a Japanese kid, I’d have to do more research than I want to to figure out for sure.

He then switches to chanting the numerals of pi! He has pi memorized! x’D I don’t know why that should surprise me. He soon begins to glow with the Zen energy of a cram school trance.

Jou: 3.14159265359... 3.14159265359...

Gas mask Digimon: 3.14159265359.... 3.14159265359...

These bright ripples emanate from Jou, counteracting the evil ripples coming from Mephismon’s mountain. It soon pulls the gas mask Digimon into the trance as well.

Ikkakumon: ... I have no effing idea what is going in this episode on anymore

Jou comes out of the trance to discover the gas mask Digimon ARE NOW HIS OBEDIENT SUBJECTS. WHAT.

(see I told you you’d bow)

seriously what just happened! XD is this Jou’s mutant power

or is this something all Japanese children who survive juku can do as a result of spending so much time memorizing shit

Ikkakumon then is able to shoot a bunch better pathway of torpedoes for Yamato to climb and MEPHISMON STILL DOESN’T NOTICE

Yamato finally makes it to the peak!

Mephismon’s like, “nice try, but what were you planning to do now? You left your friend at the bottom of the mountain and I’ve got your partner. And I doubt you’ve memorized all the numerals of pi.��

He kindly creates an evil burning vortex to increased the hellishness of the landscape. He understands that a Yamato episode needs the proper ambience.

Gabumon’s about to be sacrificed to Digi-Satan lmao

Yamato steps into the pentagram and get shocked. But he presses on despite the difficulty (and the hellfire), thinking about how much his partner means to him.

He drops to his knees while Gabumon begs him to save himself.

Yamato: “You’re my... friend!”

The power of friendship destroys the pentragram and also frees Gabumon from the cross.

The Crest of Friendship glows...

Gabumon is strengthened and becomes... WereGarurumon.

Yeah... seemed like a good time for MetalGarurumon but whatever.

After a cool but brief fight, Mephismon is defeated.

He appears frozen? Can Gabumon freeze stuff? Whatev. Anyway he’s frozen and then disintegrates.

Gabumon is tired but happy. Their bond is now even stronger.

Cute Takeru on Pegasusmon flies down to his brother at last.

And the others wave up to them from Komondomon. Aw. So finally the team is back together! ;__; Please let it last this time, please please please....

Kay so, overall... I liked this episode. The whole “You’re my friend!” bit would have been stronger if we’d seen more of Yamato resisting that though. I don’t really know why but the reboot seems to pull its punches a lot. I really wish they’d let the kids be mean to each other like 99 Adventure did sometimes. Being mean doesn’t mean you’re a bad person and a terrible influence on children watching your show. It just means you are human and your viewers can learn from watching your mistakes and seeing your growth. Try to understand that, showrunners :P

A missed opportunity in this episode: Yamato and Jou. I was excited that they were gonna be together because they often clashed in 99. And in the reboot as well, it was established that Yamato is annoyed by Jou, although he’s much more polite and hadn’t said anything about it till now (just stayed away from wherever Jou was until he fell asleep lol). So I thought, in this ep, we’d see them butt heads and learn to work together, something like that. But aside from the very first moment where Yamato might look a teensy bit annoyed, they just get alone fine. Idk. Not interesting.

In the end, though, the ep was clearly meant to be Yamato only and Jou was just there as a matter of convenience so the whole group would be together at the end. Since the team is finally reunited, I hope we do start to see all of them interacting in different ways that show their personalities more. Might not be the same as 99 (or, I should say definitely won’t be, at this point), but just something more than “look how well we all get along.”

Next week...

Looks to be a light and funny episode. The Burgermon were one of my fav bits of Frontier. But I’m a little nervous about this being a Jou epiosde. It’s his turn, I know, but everyone else got something meaningful. Even Mimi - though there was lots of humor in her episode, she was also major league cool the entire time. Maybe that will be the case with Jou here, but I’m not sure because 2020 Jou is a little different - more scatterbrained, more open, more talkative, less serious, less likely to act sullen... he’s quite different, now that I think about it. So I’m actually having difficulty imagining what his personal test will be in this episode. Guess we’ll have to wait and find out. Maybe it won’t even be that kind of episode anyway.

Also, just a guess, but next week is ep 39. So ep 40 maybe will be the start of something big again. It would be good timing: the team’s together and everyone’s had a chance recently for an episode to themselves...

See y’all next week! As usual didn’t check for typos :P

#fizz watches digimon 2020 #digimon adventure:#digimon adventure 2020 #digimon adventure reboot #digi spoilers #digimon

23 notes · View notes

adzoic · 3 years

Text

[Community Beware] @theeggoman Thread

It’s 8 in the morning, I’ve had like six cups of coffee and I’m ready to go. Today, we’re focusing on a user that’s been repeatedly called out for tracing and theft.

I want to start out by telling you not to send harassment or death threats to this user, as they’ve proven time and time again that they will use and run with it in order to garner sympathy and place the blame on other people.

That is not what I want. What I want is for @theeggoman to take full responsibility for what they’ve done and what they continue to do each time they are called out for a situation like this. Which is a lot, mind you.

Tumblr user @theeggoman, formerly known by these names:

Fooperdoodle, PleaklyandJumba, Pleakly, jombasworld, mistskistrawberryblonde, Jumba, etc.

Has been called out for tracing, scamming, etc. on many an occasion. Their (and I’m using they pronouns because I’m unsure of which pronouns they use. A bitch can be respectful and still call you out.) most recent dive into tracing artwork being taken from the artist Grendel Menz on twitter.

Grendel posted on 12/28/2020 that his vent art was stolen for a Hannibal animatic using the the song Butch 4 Butch Simping by Rio Romeo. Grendel follows this tweet up with two more, confirming the identity of the art thief.

Big yikes, but wait! There’s more. A reply to Grendel’s original thread blows this shit wide open, revealing the fact that Tumblr User @theeggoman has, in fact, been at this for quite a long fuckin’ time.

According to Kyosein on twitter, this shit has been going on since forever.

And it just. gets. worse.

Quoting Kyosein, the twitter thread states:

A follower found their comic, and then noticed similarity (pretty obvious) with some of my work. So they messaged me about it and here all it starting.

Once again, according to the twitter thread: After they had been caught, Theeggoman began to go into hiding. They changed their names multiple times on all of their accounts, hence the laundry list of alternative usernames at the beginning of this thread.

All of the works they had claimed, with little acception, are traced and copied from different images. Example:

Now, while the thread mentions Theeggoman faking harassment and copying art styles ( I don’t see that sort of shit as the crime it’s made out to be. Seriously, we all take inspiration from somewhere), I don’t think that takes precedence over the art theft and scamming that’s going on here. While on the topic: Yes. Tracing and taking inspiration from someone’s art style is completely separate.

More importantly. Let’s talk about the issue of tracing for profit.

You heard me. On their previous patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/fooperdoodle, now defunct.) Theeggoman made commissions at $50 USD. In which, you pay $50.00 for a traced drawing.

Additionally, Theeggoman made buttons! That just so happened to also be traced. Example:

The original, adorable illustration by Floofyfluff on twitter:

Versus, Theeggoman’s direct fucking rip-off of a button:

They also had a Youtube channel! A channel where they posted speedpaints. In a video (now either deleted or private, like all of them are) talking about their situation, the fucking “tumblr” layer was visible in the goddamn video. Seriously, Eggo. Do you think people are that stupid?

Versus, the two works they traced from! Originally by @furpocalypse:

Y’all need more proof of theft?

‘Cause I’ve got more proof of theft.

Not to mention that the 2019 cover of their Tapastic comic looks suspiciously similar to this tweet back in 2016.

Finally, we’ll get to the aforementioned scamming.

To quote Kyosein’s twitter thread:

They did open an donating money page, for their "goal" to go to an "art chool", showing traced drawing as examples.

And from an article found on Theeggoman in the twitter thread:

SHE GOT IN TO A SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM WITH STOLEN ART “She has been accepted to Columbia University, CAL Arts and Savannah School of Design and is weighing funding and options.” “She said she prefers a smaller company that cares about the artist.”

Everything she did until now is using plagiarism, tracing, copying art. To enter school. Making money. Taking all the "rights" on the back of real artists. Promoting their stuff. Lying to their community. We're about to contact the reporter of this article.

And thus, Theeggoman absconds with all of the money they’ve scammed with a sweet little “lol k thx, byeeee” at the end of their donation page:

Here are the screenshots for the article quoted above, or you can really just go to Kyosein’s original twitter thread.

Alright, I think that’s all of this bullshit so far. Again, I’m not asking anyone to deplatform or send death threats to @theeggoman. That’s not something people will learn from, and as we’ve seen time and time again, it only allows shitty people a platform to whimper about being cyberbullied on the internet.

However. People should be made aware of what’s happening, what they’re paying for and who they’re supporting/giving their hard earned money to. And making money off of shit that isn’t yours? C’mon, Eggo. You’re an adult and you should know better.

I’ll end this by saying thank you. Thanks for sticking around and reading through the muck of shit with me. I hope you’ve come away from this a little more informed than you were before.

And finally, to Eggo:

Shame on you.

31 notes · View notes

tomoonine · 4 years

Text

bold | oneus soulmate au

[kim geonhak] — geonhak, no matter how much he wants to, can’t bring himself to interact with his soulmate. however, he can no longer avoid it when his tutee starts drawing all over him during their tutor sessions.

soulmate au wherein writing something on your skin will also appear on your soulmate’s skin. you can only erase your own messages.

Pairing: leedo / reader (gender-neutral) Genre: soulmate au, college au, fluff Word Count: 2500 words

Geonhak never really knew what his soulmate link was until it happened

He wasn’t even sure for how long he’s had it

But one thing’s for sure

Is that he will never forget the first interaction he’s had with his soulmate, back when he was in 6th grade

You got him into trouble with all the writings he had on his arm, it didn’t help that Geonhak sat in the front row of his class,,,

“anime recommendations: Code Geass, Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood”

Thankfully his teacher let him off with a warning, something along the lines of “knowing what to prioritize and when is the appropriate time”

He was a good student after all

....who watches their anime after doing their homework :]

So going back to his new-found soulmate link, he has no idea what to do with it at first??? Because at this point, this could be a tattoo link

(If you ask him though, he thinks it’ll be weird if his soulmate’s first words to him would be these.....)

But the opportunities are endless...

And he was a bit eager to find out what his link could be

As soon as he got home, Geonhak, feeling a bit bold, experiments by writing something back

He uses blue, to contrast the black lines etched on his skin

“are these recommendations for me?”

It takes about an hour before Geonhak receives a reply, and he feels the way your pen glides on your skin as you hurriedly write a reply back to him

Now that he knows that his soulmate link allows him to communicate with his soulmate, Geonhak relaxes and lets out a laugh at your profuse apologies

“I’m sorry soulmate, my friend wrote that on my hand TT We were on the way back home so I didn’t have paper with me”

Constantly rereading the message has changed his laughter to shy chuckles, he’s not sure if it’s butterflies in his stomach or his heart beating a little faster

But just reading soulmate was so overwhelming for him that all he can do is smile to himself

He felt secure

Without hesitation, he takes his blue pen and scribbles his answer to you

“It’s alright”

He pauses for a while, contemplating whether or not he should be more forward with his soulmate

His pen is already on his skin as he ponders, so he decides that he’s gone this far...

Might as well, right?

“May I know your name?”

“(y/n) :) And yours?” is what he receives almost immediately

“Geonhak”

oops he forgot something important :O

“:)”

there we go :]

By the end of that day, both of you have not only introduced yourselves to each other, but have managed to lay down some rules when interacting:

1. No spoiling of anime shows

2. To avoid scolding from teachers, you two established the most appropriate times to be interacting with each other

3. Blue ink for Geonhak, and black ink for you

4. Unless the conversation is so long that it takes up a lot of space, erase messages in the next morning

During those times, Geonhak and you interacted often, most of the time just sending each other random thoughts or encouraging messages

Particularly because having a whole conversation would make it look like both of you have full arm tattoos lol

Not that you two minded anyway since both of you enjoyed each others’ company

Although as both of you aged, your interactions have slowly decreased

Sentences of dialogue everyday have downgraded to barely 5 sentences in a week

While Geonhak doesn’t like calling it as a downgrade, he couldn’t help but feel bad that he can’t bring himself to initiate a conversation as often as he used to

He has become shy, even to his own soulmate

It’s not only his shyness that becomes a barrier for him, but also the demands he must meet as a student

The workload has become too overbearing that he keeps forgetting to check-up on you once in a while

Don’t get him wrong though!!! He still thinks about how you are :<<<

It has become a habit for him to make sure he has a blue pen on his person every time he leaves to go outside

When he feels a bit bored, he tries to learn how to draw more flowers so that he can draw something new once in a while

Sometimes his mind drifts off wondering if you’ve eaten well today :<<<

He really does try his best :<<< He usually needs a little push to get another conversation going but you aren’t initiating a lot of conversations too :’----)

But he doesn’t blame you, because he knows deep down that you have your own worries to think about

On days where his instincs tell him that things are rough for you, he draws a little smiley and flower to cheer you up

You’d reply back with a simple “thank you <3″

And when you feel that Geonhak is feeling stressed, you would remind him that you care about him too

No matter how little the exchanges have grown to become, Geonhak never felt that his connection with you has wavered the slightest bit

Small exchanges and small greetings like those have persisted until the present

Both of you are now college students in your respective fields of choice

Geonhak is an Early Childhood Education major, aiming to work with children in the future

And he’s even more busy than before,,, He, together with his colleagues, have to immerse themselves in a pre-school regularly

He has to prepare different presentations, write essays, make lessons, all for the subjects he’s taking

And on top of that,,, He’s working part-time as a tutor in a nearby tutorial center

It’s tiring, surely it is, but Geonhak is happy where he is now

He knows that everything will pay off in the end!!

Especially being a tutor !! It’s an opportunity for him to gain experience !! plus it looks good on a resume

While he knows that he’s happy, he can only assume that it’s the same case for you :,) He can tell because his instincts don’t really alert him of any stress or negativity coming from you

But he still can’t,,, bring himself to ask you through your soulmate link how you’re doing :,,,,)

Assuming isn’t really helpful y’know but :///

He knows that he has to initiate a conversation with you eventually

Except

He didn’t think it would be,,, THIS soon,,,,

You see...

Today, he was assigned to teach a new student at the tutorial center, and the kid must have been bored of him at some point

Because when Geonhak turned to look at Haechan, his tutee, he saw the kid doodling a bunch of flowers on his arm

And apparently

You replied back .

After recovering from a bit of shock from your sudden reply, he kindly asks Haechan to get off his arm and for him to continue his English assignment so he can get a better look at your message to him

Once he’s sure that Haechan is actually finishing up his worksheets, he peers at Haechan’s flower doodles

Beside one of the flowers in Haechan’s garden, you wrote: “Wow Geonhak, this is a lot more flowers than usual ^^”

He let out a sigh, a bit worried that Haechan’s special message might have appeared on you at a wrong time

Geonhak reaches for the blue pen on his shirt pocket, pops the cap off, and begins to scribble out a reply on the other side of Haechan’s flower garden

“Sorry (y/n), my tutee was drawing on my arm while I was trying to tutor him English. Hope it didn’t disturb you.”

When he’s done writing a reply, he turns to scold Haechan for drawing on him without permission, but he’s met with a smug look from the child

“You have a soulmate don’t cha!” The kid smirks at him.

He’s taken aback at this kid,,, ur like 9,,,,,, u should think about ur homework not soulmates yet,,,,,,

Geonhak: Haechan, do your homework.

Haechan: ...but can I say hi to them? I’ll even encircle the noun and verb on my message.

Geonhak:

Even after all that, Geonhak can’t believe it but he actually owes Haechan for making the move for him, because now you and Geonhak are talking just as frequent as you were in elementary

He learned that you were also tutoring kids on the side, and his heart warms up at the thought of both of you sharing the same passion for education

Each night has become an chance for both of you to talk more about your days and what transpires during both of your tutorial sessions

He’s bonding more with you, thanks to Haechan, who surprisingly still wants Geonhak as his tutor even after getting bored of him on their first session

Although Geonhak isn’t sure if the reason why Haechan seems so attached to him,,,

Is because Geonhak lets him draw on him while he tutors him,,,

Given that he’s quite patient as an individual, he honestly didn’t really mind, because on the brighter side, in motivates Haechan to do better in English

....well he hopes so

His mom insists that Haechan has improved thanks to him but still,,,,

Well the point is = Haechan is still doodling on Geonhak

And you don’t really mind tbh, because even if you don’t know Geonhak’s tutee, you think he’s cute (PLUS the doodles let you know that Geonhak arrived safely to the tutorial center)

The kid sometimes writes on Geonhak’s arm asking you for math help n u do help him out HAHAHAHAHAHA

(Geonhak has to tell Haechan that if he needs a math tutor he can just talk about it with his mom and you know,,, not bother his soulmate when he’s supposed to be learning ENGLISH with him)

So all in all, the days are more exciting for both of you because of the frequency of your conversations!!

At the end of the day when Geonhak lies in bed, he feels blissful when he looks back at all the ridiculous drawings on his arm and the tiny greetings you left for him and Haechan

In fact he feels so blissful that sometimes he ends up sleeping almost immediately while reading them

To the point that

He misses his alarm LMAO

WHICH is exactly what happened today !

Thankfully the other messages on his arm have disappeared but he has no time to wash out the large sunflower field by Haechan

So he just grabs a sweater, combs his hair a bit, and rUNS TO HIS CLASS WHICH STARTS IN 6 MINUTES !!!!!

He was lucky enough that his professor was a bit late

And sleeping in was the only misfortune he experienced for today ! Which he will definitely talk about with you later when he’s done tutoring

And speaking of tutoring, he’s actually on his way to the tutorial center as we speak

He’s about an hour early since his last professor canceled his last class for the day, so he just decided to chill inside and finish up his own work before he meets up with his tutee

Upon entering, Geonhak is a bit surprised to see only a few people inside; there are a few tutors on their phone waiting for their tutees, and a pair who were still having their tutorial session

He isn’t really sure who the people inside were, but he didn’t really find it necessary to know

So Geonhak greets the secretary, and goes to his usual spot to do his work

There really isn’t much happening at this point because everyone is ~ super ~ productive, and Geonhak has managed to finish most of his work in the time he’s spent waiting for Haechan

After deeming it appropriate to finish the rest of his requirements at home, he stands up to retrieve some more textbooks he could use for today’s session

At the same time, someone else joins beside him to return the math textbooks that they used for their tutorial session

As they return each book one by one, Geonhak can’t miss the familiar sunflower drawing on their left arm

Geonhak is just assuming that Haechan finally asked his mom for a math tutor

Feeling a bit bold, he decides to break the ice

“Oh are you tutoring Haechan too?” He asks you. Your head snaps at his direction, and you have no idea how to answer this stranger,,, Who you assume also tutors at this center too,,,

“Me?” You ask back. “No I don’t actually, I haven’t tutored someone named Haechan.” You can see that the man in front of you suddenly felt embarrassed for asking you, so you try to help him out by asking him why he asked.

“It’s just that the drawing on your arm looks really familiar.” Geonhak says as he points at your left arm. Your eyes follow where he’s pointing, and you let a laugh out.

“Ah this one?” You touch the garden on your arm. “I didn’t draw this, I’ve had this drawing on me since yesterday. I’m actually surprised that it’s still here.”

Yesterday, huh?

Hm .

Wait...

Wait a minute.

You’re starting to be a little uncomfortable with the way Geonhak is eyeing your arm, he’s been squinting at it for a while and he hasn’t said anything since,,,,

You’re about to ask him if he’s okay, but someone beats you to it

Well the little kid who just passed by didn’t really ask him if he was okay

The kid just slaps Geonhak’s ass and greets him cheerily

“Hiya Geonhak! I’m here, let’s goooOOO!”

That was enough to snap him out of his thoughts, now both of you are watching the mischievous kid enter the study room, particularly to the table where Geonhak placed his backpack

“Did he say your name was Geonhak?” You turn to face him again, a smile creeping onto your face. You seem to have started connecting the dots one by one.

“Yes, it is actually.” He replied. He’s about to ask you for your name, but as soon as he affirms his identity, you’re fishing out for your black pen. The little pen key-chain that’s on your school ID.

You pop off the cap and start scribbling beside the sunflowers on your arm.

Geonhak feels the pen on his skin, and he’s quick to look down at his left arm. While you’re scribbling, he takes his left hand out of his sweater’s pocket and pulls the sleeve down with his right hand.

By that time you’ve finished writing, and when your eyes shift to look at him, you can’t help but smile at the blue pen that’s peeking out of his sweater pocket.

Written on his arm in black ink

“This is a bit of a bold move from me, but hi soulmate :)”

#oneus #oneus leedo #kim geonhak #oneus scenarios #oneus imagines #oneus reactions #oneus au #oneus soulmate au #ravn #seoho #leedo #keonhee #hwanwoong #xion #oneus x reader #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop x reader #tomoonine writing

162 notes · View notes

lvlyhao · 3 years

Text

「PART TWO: FEAR」

HUMANITY SERIES; Q.K

A/N: took me long enough to post, I know, but thank you to that last anon for reminding me of the series lol with school i tend to forget what i have and haven’t posted but i’ll do better from now on. i hope you like this :)

important: this chapter includes mentions of vomiting and though i’ve already put a warning for violence and gore in the masterlist, i’m saying it again: please don’t read this if you are not okay with that!!!!

word count: 2.1K

pairing: qian kun x reader

disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.

previous chapter || next chapter

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

“I’m heading out”, your hands fondly squeeze Taeyong’s shoulders from behind him. He does not look up from his task for a few seconds, counting rolls of gauze. Then, upon processing your words, he twirls to face you. His eyes trail up and down your figure, making a mental checklist of everything you need to be safe. Apparently, one thing is missing.

“Take Jaehyun with you”, he asks, “or maybe Yuta. Johnny is always good to have around, and so is Renjun. Those swords of his are no joke”, he rambles, losing focus. The way he places his hands on his hips and sighs tells you he’s absolutely drained. “Or maybe I should go with you—”

Shaking your head fervently, you pat his cheek for his attention, observing the streaks of noon sunlight across his face. He stares at you with concern and shifts his weight.

“You’re staying right here and so are the boys, Tyong. We haven’t found a survivor in weeks, and taking one of them is always more stressful than anything”, you reason. Recollections of how the boys attract trouble wherever they go cloud your mind, far too many to count. The air suddenly feels too chilly, with shivers running down your spine.

“Just stay here and maybe find a way to rest. You know Doyoung won’t mind keeping track of the supply for you.”

At this point, he knows it’s no use arguing.

“Just be careful… and get back before dawn”, he adjusts the collar of your jacket, thinking back to the weather outside of the grey walls of the dorms. “All I’m saying is you never know what you’re gonna find.” Giving you a tight-lipped smile and a nod, he resumes his job, and you leave him. Headed to the heavily locked iron doors guarded by the towering figures of Shotaro and Sungchan, you ask yourself if there was any hidden depth to Taeyong's words.

“You never know what you’re gonna find, huh", you mutter.

Now, roaming the deserted streets on your own and basking in the orange glow of the afternoon, you just think he was wrong.

It’s already been a couple of hours since you left: you’ve explored parts of the district you barely even knew before the virus, seeing all kinds of animals scurrying around your path. You’ve also eaten the rice balls Jaemin packed for you, and you’ve gawked at the decaying building that used to be your favourite theatre. It’s all the same as you imagined it would be. Not many walkers litter this part of town—just 7 or 8 you managed to avoid—and no people. No one worth rescuing.

Wandering like this, in silence, brings back memories you're not sure you like. Weekly game nights with your friends, attending Jisung’s dance presentations, playing in the park’s playground at night... All of those feel foreign to you, parts of life too good to have ever been yours. Still, the need for a shot of wistfulness takes over, and you sigh. Better now than when it gets late, then. With a shake of your head, you pick a destination and start moving.

You’re conscious of your surroundings as you keep one hand on the bow and make your way across the square. Dry, fiery leaves crunch under your boots, being the only sound you pick up. Nothing looks out of the ordinary, either. The same old abandoned stores seem to look down at you, their busted windows moaning in the wind. But, right then, something jabs at your gut. It's a silent alert to a threat you can't see.

Damnit. You better pick up the pace.

As soon as you make a turn to the left, spying the pizza place you used to visit, you freeze. Walkers, maybe 10 of them, whimper and try to get past the debris to reach something inside a pharmacy.

How could you not notice them earlier? They’re not a quiet horde, and the awful stench is not something you should have missed either. Have you been that lost in your nostalgia?

Whatever happened, you don't have much time. If the undead are making that much effort to get around the rubble, there has to be someone inside. A fellow human being—hopefully, a nice one. Someone you can help.

Acting out of instincts, you drink in your surroundings. Having your back hastily pressed against a tree trunk is not ideal, but it's what comes to you. While you can't call yourself a strategy master, jumping right into action is not the right plan when someone else's life is in danger.

Mind racing, you know you need a better shooting spot now if you want to make a move. Drawing them out to an alley is not a totally bad idea either. They wouldn't be able to escape, and maybe then they could flee.

As soon as you found a perfect corner for that, the screech of old door hinges catches your attention. A second later, shattering glass.

Shit. They broke in.

With no more time to assess the situation, you quickly climb up a rotting picnic table. The zombies, some missing a limb, slowly drag their feet towards a man in a plaid, blue shirt.

He's petrified, head lashing from side to side, looking for a way out. You know very well there is none, and soon enough it will be too late. He’ll be just at reach for those disgusting, putrid fingers. If they get a bite in, it's over for you, and it's over for him.

That’s when you take the stupidest decision of your life.

Screaming.

“YO, YOU POINTLESS MEAT SACK! WHY DON’T YOU LOOK OVER HERE?”

The boy might just get whiplash from how fast his eyes find yours. His are dark and desperate, but there is something else to them—to him. Something you will never find it in you to explain.

It could have been the way the stares right at your soul, or how his face displays every emotion from relief to terror. You could even say it was how his knees buckled under his weight or his fluttering hair in the wind. You can blame your reaction on a lot of things, but none of them startles you as much as yourself.

A cold hand grasps at your heart, squeezing it tightly in your chest. Blood drains from your face, and your frame shakes in the wind. You know this sensation all too well to have doubts, although it is what you swore never to feel again. Fear. Not for yourself, no, even when the undead start walking towards you instead. You don't—can't— care enough about your life, and you know it. It is all for him, the beautiful stranger you are going to save.

The first two arrows find their aim, speeding right through the undead’s skulls, but something shifts in your arms. The rest of your arrows now seem to swerve a bit to the sides, lodging themselves on necks or shoulders. In other words, not where they are supposed to.

Oh, how much you hate that the walkers will only die if you damage their brains.

“Annoying bastards, I swear—”

Falling into a state of near panic, you drop to the floor unceremoniously and race to the horde. If your bow won't do the trick, your other weapons will.

Momentarily thankful for their lack of agility, you pull out the knives hidden on the sides of your shoes. In a flurry of drive, you slash and stab everything around you. While throwing some hand-to-hand-combat here and there, your eyes start to burn. The walkers smell even worse from up close, you bitterly recall from past encounters. It's one of the things that make fighting harder—the urge to run away from them at every second.

The more daring among them clutch at your clothes, keeping your movement limited, but you manage to cut off their hands. The slick sound it makes is enough to make bile rise up your throat, but you swallow it back.

“C’mon, Y/N”, you pant, kicking what had once been an adult woman in the chest to send her down to the asphalt. “You’ve had tougher battles than this." With a breath as deep as you can manage, your knife cuts at another zombie.

It is true, you know. It's impossible to count the times you’ve been up against groups of 20 or more. You were always fine. Right now, though, wincing from multiple wounds scattered around your skin, you question how the hell did you do it.

Hurriedly glancing to your right, you notice 5 are already dead—well, dead-er than they had previously been. The lady you kicked struggles to get up, giving you a gap to spin and bury your knife into her scalp. She goes limp right away, and you stare. 4 more to go.

Just as you retrieve your blade and turn to face the other walkers, something bites your dominant hand. Hard.

With your knife tumbling down in a metallic clunk, fire shoots up your arm. The first thing you do is wiggle your hand back and forth. Some part of you thinks it was going to let go like it’s some sort of dog. You realize you were wrong when darkened saliva flows into the cuts, your mind going blank with agony.

You figure it was one of the undead you had pushed down before, only to lose sight of him later. And, yes, wiggling was a poor attempt at getting him to drop you, but you did it out of pure alarm. Fear is gradually taking over you now, freezing cold and impossible to fight.

With only your non-dominant hand free, you sloppily sink your blade down however many times it takes for the corpse to stop moving. The pain you feel is sharp, travelling through your veins like blue fire. As his grip slackens, the body slumps to the ground, a wet thud echoing. Despite the agony that threatens to blind you, you're aware of the other 3 walkers you have yet to take down.

One is easy enough, with an arrow embedded deep on one side of her neck, and another coming down on her brow bone. Repugnance swirls in your gut, and you have to look away. Their skulls are incredibly soft.

Your remaining enemies pace at either side of you, circling you with dead eyes and faltering strides. You keep your wounded hand close to you while the other clutches the leather grip of your weapon. It's time to put an end to this.

Choosing to go for the right first, you slash at his chest, grimacing at the black blood that oozes. It taints his shredded red hoodie and sprinkles at your front. The shudders that course through you in silent rage give you the strength to finish it off.

In one clean, powerful strike, your knife goes through an eyeball, but he collapses a bit too fast. You can't recover your blade.

Having no weapons on your hands, even for a second, is critical. The walkers are borderline sluggish, but it was easy to lose track of them: your severed hand was proof.

To your relief—or mild disgust—, hasty strides bounce at the pavement behind you, followed by heavy thuds on a slimy surface. It takes no more than 3 seconds for the last body to tumble by your feet, face down.

It's only then you see the skull, or better, what is left of it. Blood and brain flow over a gaping crack, done by something sharp. You could guess it was the heavy, black rock that you find before you, held in the hands of the man you are supposed to be saving.

From there, you realize his medium length hair is a faded blue, with dark brown at the roots. A grey university hoodie hugs his slim figure under the plaids, matching his cargo pants and busted sneakers. His face is all sharp angles and soft edges, but his gaze is nothing short of magnetic.

Wide, chocolate eyes glare at the body with such horror your own throat tightens. Then, with no words shared, he lets go of the rock and stumbles back like he cannot believe what he did. Your own eyes divert to the cloudless sky, hearing him vomiting on the concrete in a matter of seconds. Poor dude.

Pity, combined with the reminiscents of adrenaline and dread, settle in you. Your thoughts boil down to one small detail: the Sun is setting.

The throbbing on your hand momentarily vanishes, lost in the memory of Taeyong very clearly telling you to be back before dawn. Aside from that, the memory of what you did to get the walkers' attention still burns at your mind. That goddamned shout. Having a sense of hearing as acute as they did, you are sure any other zombies around you are coming your way.

You have fucked up big time.

-------

final notes: ik chapter one wasn’t all that exciting but i’m hoping this one is better wheeze two more to come, stay tuned <3

16 notes · View notes