#if you want non shameless lmk i can tell the cautionary tale of the m&m's i keep eating

[gardenerian]

Can you tell me a bed time story🥺👉👈

i sure can! not sure if you want shameless or something else, but since these dummies are still in my brain, here's ian and mickey trying to get some sleep:

"Tell me story."

"You already know literally all of my stories."

"Make one up."

"You can't fuckin' do that yourself? Pretend you're reading to Fred or something."

"I want you to tell it."

"Ian, it's 3:00 in the morning."

"You're not asleep yet."

"Because you won't shut the fuck up!"

"If you tell me a story I'll make you pancakes tomorrow and blow you under the table while you eat them."

"...Once upon a time, there was a boy named Little Red Riding Ian. He had red hair and he was really fuckin' annoying - "

"Mickey."

" - and he literally never shut up even when other people were trying to sleep after a long day."

"I don't like this story."

"That wasn't in the rules. Let me tell it. Little Red Riding Ian was skipping through the woods one day, bothering every furry little creature in the whole goddamn place. A big bad wolf got so mad at him that he ate him. The end."

"The end? That's not even how it goes!"

"Are you seriously pouting about this?"

"Mickey..."

"Fuck, fine. The big bad wolf ate Little Red Riding Ian, but it was all okay because the incredibly handsome and capable Sir Mickey came along and pulled Little Ian out through the wolf's ass - "

"Gross."

" - and they lived happily ever after even though Little Red was super annoying forever. Sir Mickey loved his stupid ass anyway. The end."

"Awww?"

"Thank you. Now shut up for the next several hours. And I want chocolate chip pancakes with my blowjob tomorrow."

✨💤😴💤🌙

#if you want non shameless lmk i can tell the cautionary tale of the m&m's i keep eating #you'll laugh you'll cry you might learn a lesson or two #you probably won't but 🤷🏻‍♀️ #this is what happens when you ask me to speak after the gummy hits jfgasjdkha #enjoy my sweet #is this too long does it need a readmore #lmkkkkk #bedtime stories about bedtime stories #tumblr writing