#if you have any other questions lemme know! i’d love to answer em!

[wisyhana]

Hey hi! I was wondering how you got so comfortable making a human x dragon ship? I have my own ideas for one, but I’m just not sure how to draw it… I love the Armed Dragon series, I’d just like to know how you got so comfortable with it. My characters could have such fun with their dragons if only I could draw it…

Hello, wonderful anon!

This is a bit tricky cos I struggle a lot to find myself comfortable drawing them, and all has to do with Gandora's size that until today I keep messing up.

I don't know if your question goes to how to draw dragons or how to think of them to finally sit and draw em or both. But I googled the Armor Dragon and mama mia I get why you struggle with it💦

But lemme give it a try to explain myself on how I think Gandora or any monster to finally sit and draw them.

Anytime I want to draw Yugi and Gandora, I try to keep in mind their dynamic and personalities: Master and monster, Yugi is gentle and soft and Gandora is rude and needy. Giving a personality to the dragon is vital! Yeah, they'll follow instincts at some point, but giving them a very clear personality will help a lot to create situations for them.

After the dynamic I focus on Gandora, I have issues with his size tho, sometimes my ideas implies a bigger Gandora, in other I need em to be a bit smaller, or simply I make the mistake and notices it too late! But considering that this dragon is reaaaally big I gotta think of em first and later find a way to include Yugi.

Something I have to always remember to myself is how Gandora doesn't have lips or eyebrows, which makes facial expressions difficult, but not impossible! It's so fun to draw his face muscles, specially when he's angry hmmmm and honestly I don't know how it works, I just do it hahaha.

I feel like I didn't give an useful answer or tip, but I truly don't know how I do it myself, I just..... draw I guess...

The last thing I could recommend for this is: have fun! drawing dragons is challenging, specially when they have complex designs, but once you get used to them imagination go pyuuuuuum! and without noticing you're already drawing hardcore dragon sex MUAHAHA.

#ask #gandora the dragon of destruction #for real if someone wants me to give aaaam tips about how to draw dragons let me know

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

fanfic end of year asks

1-15

favorite fic you wrote this year

I had a spectacular time writing Better Than a Painting, Because Paintings Aren’t Perfect, so probably that :D

least favorite fic you wrote this year

Ohhhhh man.

As far as posted fics go, it would be keep running for the sink, but the well is dry, by far. I no like that fic.

favorite line/scene you wrote this year

There’s a scene in one of my WIPs for the Crime Boys Modern AU that I think fondly of :) Wilbur’s just a little kid and Tommy is actually a Baby, and Wilbur pushes his brother in a stroller down the sidewalk so so fast, and… I don’t know, I just find it a little wonderful, even nearly a year after writing it.

total number of words you wrote this year

Oh man, I don’t know. Thing is, I don’t keep all my fics in a single folder, so it’s a little hard to calculate the total word counts.

I’d say at least 100k? I wrote 30k in one month for a single fic, and I wrote thousands of words for various other things :)

most popular fic this year

I actually don’t know :0 Lemme check!

Promise Me You Won’t Leave (This Time) has the most reads out of everything! It wasn’t posted last year though.

least popular fic this year

Unempty Boats! Give it up for poetry babyyyyyy

longest completed fic you wrote this year

Oooh… this is a good question :0

I wrote at least one fic that’s 4k or 5k… I’m pretty sure I haven’t posted any, but I’ve definitely written ‘em!

One-shots are so much easier than multi-chaptered things.

shortest completed fic you wrote this year

Unempty Boats, most likely! A short little poem :)

longest wip of the year

GHOSTBUR & TOMMY MODERN AU!!! That hekkin thing gained 30k in like. a month. That is unheard of in the world of Grace. I don’t write longfics. I don’t write multi-chapter fics. I don’t write this much. I don’t write this fast.

Truly, something came over me with this.

shortest wip of the year

I cannot tell you the amount of WIPs I’ve got that are 100-200 words long. They have not been touched in months. All but forgotten about, they are.

fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year

Dream SMP! It was one of three fandoms I wrote for this year, and the only fandom I posted for—and definitely the fandom I wrote the most of :)

favorite character to write about this year

GHOSTBUR!!! GHOSTBUR!!! GHOSTBUR!!! GHOSTBUR!!! I’m sure that is a surprise to everyone.

Whenever I wrote Ghostbur I’d always get so happy :’D He’s downright lovely to write <3 An absolute joy!

favorite writing song/artist/album of this year

I don’t write to music, so I can’t really give an answer here 😅

I pictured a whole lot of Ghostbur angst for The Other Side Of Paradise by Glass Animals, though! Never ended up writing anything, but the inspiration was definitely there! This is The Ghostbur angst song, in my opinion.

a fic you didn’t expect to write

All of them.

Aksgajsgajsgajgs most of my fics are very unplanned XD

something you learned this year

Getting into a writing schedule is mega helpful!! I wrote so hekkin much because of that simple glorious routine. I must get back into it soon.

#ask #ask game answers

[beann-e]

I have a head cannon that bakugou would not be sweet to who he liked or dated and instead deny it and hate on them even more.

The reason being because he doesn’t really understand feelings so, when he’s talking badly about you he just assumes it’s normal and a bit funny at the lies he’s spitting that his just continuously friends are eating up.

he’s been talking bad about people for years so , who cares if your his s/o your no acceptation all people are equal in his mind. Now lemme explain please fall in line and hold a buddys hand kids we’re going on a trip inside my brain

It wasn’t easy getting the spiky haired male to ask you out honestly if someone asked you , which they’d never dare since they’d never know per bakugous request him saying it’s not their business , how you two got together you would shrug your shoulders and walk off.

It wasn’t that it was a boring day or a simple question that you supplied the answer for. It was that it was unusual.

You’d been at quirk practice after school in the gym like you’d usually do only this time bakugou made his way over to you.

You’d been seeing him more often when you were in the gym and you weren’t sure why until he explained that he was interested in your workout routine saying you two could have a contest to see who’s was more grueling

It seemed like fun so like any competitive person you agreed. Only for him to tap out on day two your laughs swirling around the gym as he fought so hard to say he only lost because he just didn’t like how the air would hit his ass crack anytime he did your little girly squats you’d wrote down for him.

You couldn’t say you weren’t both confused and happy when he let the air calm down before he spoke “ i’m kind of conflicted “ his eyes coming up to look at yours from the floor “ could you maybe help me“

“ of course what’s up “

“ i’m at a standstill “

“ more like a sit still “ you joked eyes peering down at his straight face “ yeah ok let’s imagine that didn’t happen —continue “

“ uh yeah anyways — i’m at a standstill because honestly I like your shit workout “ he shook his head to the floor “ but I also like you so I find myself thinking if I couldn’t get through your workout even though I enjoyed it so much could I “

his voice rasped shakily “ could I get through a relationship with you even though I like you even more “

truthfully you’d wish you’d said no because right now you wanted nothing more than to just be friends with the male sitting across the room from you.

It’s not that you didn’t like him of course you did he was hot , smart, and felt strongly about his goals but, he was an asshole.

Not in the aspect of hes just mean and rude but he was an all around prick as he laughed with his friends from across the room.

Their voices only getting louder as you sat alone a few seats away from them trying to complete some work on your desk you’d just been given “ dude gotta admit class 1-A’s got some hot chicks “

“ yeah honestly minas top three if we’re being truthful “

“mina dude come on have you seen jirou “

“ don’t even get me started “ denkis voice came out in a soft groan “ god I would— “

“ yeah yeah all that jazz but “ seros voice came out soft. His hand coming up to point at the seat as you sat in with your head down eyes furrowed in anger at the math on your paper that wasn’t syncing up with your brain right now

“ y/n “ his fist tightened as he groaned “ y/n could get it on all accounts — the car “

“ you don’t have a car “ denkis voice came out as sero continued

“ the school bathroom “

“ but which one ? because one of you would have to go in the wrong sex’s unless its a handicap or family stal-“

“the fucking dorms “

“ y/n ? “ kirishima asked quickly “ y/n l/n ? “

“ fuck yeah “

“ hmm “ kirishima studied you before shaking his head “ honestly kinda hot never really paid attention to that stuff before though “

“ what the fuck how can’t you “

“ uh i’m more so a personality guy “

“ so by personality would you fuck em ‘ “

“ not to be vulgar but of course “ his answer taking no time “ y’know how fun they’d be in a relationship though not just with sex ? imagine cuddles—fuck —what about cuddle monster y/n maybe ? god that’d be so hot “

denki getting restless as he held his thoughts in from the other males. His mind spazzing before finally getting to speak “ i’d fuck her too “ he yelled everyone’s eyes going sharp on the boy before he coughed “ id rock it too — we’re talking about getting mullets “

“ oh boys that’d be kinda hot “ you said laughing sarcastically sero turning to you smiling softly “ oh yeah on who in particular “

“ mm totally blondie over there “

“ the fuck ? “ his eyes shot away from denkis and moved to yours anger pouring through his gaze making you jerk back a little in surprise “ the hell you mean i’d look hot “

your eyebrows creased “ well because I — you do you would “

“ don’t go talking out of your ass you hear me—shit people like you don’t deserve to talk to anyone about looks “ your mouth went dry at his lazer stare.

His lips curling up into a smirk before he shook his head “ these assholes are talking about fucking you yknow “ he whispered to you “ you gonna let em ? you gonna let em right? because that’s the only attention you’d ever get right “

“ bakubro hold up chill out “

“ yeah bakubro chill out “ you said your gaze wavering from the hard one you’d had when you felt the heat radiating off of him no comfort coming from him to you only confusing you more. Had you two been in a secret argument that you knew nothing about

“ whatever “ he leaned back in his chair as the class went back to what they were doing your hands gripping the pencil when the class got even louder but you only searching for your boyfriends voice easily drowning out the others

“ i’d never fuck “ your heart broke at the deep voice youd identified

“ dude seriously come on with the lies —fucking beautiful “

“ correctomundo my friend their absolutely stunning “

his laugh ripping through their claims hand jerking back to point at you “ you think their beautiful much less hot ? “

“ yeah you don’t ? “ denki spat all of them looking at the boy like he was crazy for enjoying this obviously racy topic right now much less taking the wrong side of the debate

“ I literally just sat here and said I wouldn’t fuck em’ pokémon —so you can guess what that correlates to “

“ hey dude why’re you being sucha a dick —the personality’s top tier even if your stupid enough to think their not at least hot“ kirishima putting the ending words in quotation marks honestly a bit upset with his friend

“ hey watch it your over here defending an extra like your gonna make moves on em “ he laughed “ I advise otherwise “

you let out a sigh thinking he’d finally stopped acting the way he was. Your mind preparing to only give him the silent treatment for today and then tomorrow peppering him with kisses until he laughed and apologized for his words

Heart only being snatched away from your body when you heard his deep vibrating voice cut through the room “ probably gonna give you a rash from all the shit that’s on their mouth all the time “

it’s just lipgloss.

Lipgloss bakugou bought you packs of earlier this week after he swore he loved the taste and scent.

moving to wipe at it gently with the sleeve of your outfit him still going causing tears to start building up in your eyes “ bet the bitch doesn’t even shower —had em’ over for a project last night had to wash my sheets and blanket —took hours last night “

“ oh “ denki let out “ I was a bit confused when I saw you at the laundry room at 3 in the morning.

Tears blurring your vision as you thought about his earlier words when he’d given you your favorite sweater of his after saying he’d washed it for you because he knew you wouldn’t do it yourself because in his words ‘ you would never wash it without his help because you were a creep and didn’t want to erase his smell or some shit ‘

“ yeah —smelled so bad im telling you stay away you don’t wanna ask em’ out “

you moved to grab your phone as he kept talking you typing out a message as best as you could before hitting send. His hand moving off the desk and going in his pants pocket to pull his phone out keeping it hidden under the table eyes trailing over the screen

Firefighter >3

baby are we arguing

if your mad at me please just tell me don’t just talk shit about me in front of your friends

him locking his phone and placing it on his desk before you typed out one more message him letting out a sigh as he grabbed for it again

firefighter >3

if you keep going we’re over

“ but imagine whoever bags them apart from bakugou at least since we all know he’s all anti hot y/n “

“ they’d be so lucky “

“ yeah right “ he spoke lowly almost trying to hide his voice from you eyes glued to his phone “ wouldn’t dare “

“ wouldnt dare what bakugou “

“ oh wouldnt dare be —-be lucky “ he locked his phone again “ feel bad for the person dating them all the shit they gotta go through put up with , claims they make through message and not with real words, being too much of a pussy to speak up for themselves“

he shook his head softly eyes twitching “ you wouldn’t put up with that —you couldn’t put up with that your not built for it you gotta have tough skin y’know like me “

he licked his lips moving to sit up straighter when hearing his phone vibrate “ don’t uh “

firefighter >3

one more bakugou

one more bakugou katsuki and were over

his eyes darting over to yours before his eyebrows furrowed and body shook in anxiousness he couldn’t figure out what to do.

He was an asshole you knew this so why the fuck were you being such a crybaby now? did he pick the wrong person to date he thought you were strong

He genuinely just wanted to keep these creeps away from what’s his by scaring them off he wasn’t doing anything wrong? well at least in his eyes

He moved to talk again trying his best to string together a nice sentence “ just don’t uh ask —ask em’ out —-their utter dog shit when it comes to relationships leave it to someone who can handle that y’know “

he relaxed into his chair at his victory when he watched you throw your phone to the table and fix your skirt and standup. Him sighing out when you picked up your stuff to leave “ thank all might “ he whispered head shooting to lean back against his desk chair and look up at the sky blood running cold when his phone vibrated against the table

firefighter >3

all your shits gonna be outside my dorm door. So you might want to come collect it before I have half and half lighting campfires tonight

y’know since i’m such a shit person —gotta hope your bestie deku can give me some after school lessons on personalities. He’s so sweet I bet he’ll fix me right up

screw you katsuki see you in hell

“ the —the fuck what did —the hell did I do wrong “ he screamed when he saw you slam the classroom door after flicking him off

his friends eyes moving from the door to bakugous phone that he’d thrown on the table.

Todorokis eyes going wide when he read his stupid nickname given to him by the steamy male “ I —I uh“ he coughed “ I think i’m gonna go help y/n since their now single—don’t want em’ getting hurt with amateur fire starters again when i’m right here “

his stone face peered down at the red faced boy “ I mean that is ok with you bakugou seeing as though you two were most likely in a relationship by the messages before today “

“ you asshole did you go through me and my s/o’s messages “

“ judging by the series of recent text I don’t believe that’s the case for you two anymore “ he reached to grab his backpack saying a formal goodbye before he spoke “ I feel like i’m needed by a very —very perfectly intelligent unshitty person right now “

seros voice coming out softly as he let bakugous phone fall to the table disappointment in his eyes “ look uh —dude you didn’t have to mess your relationship up just to go against us ? “ he winced at the claim“ honestly you could’ve stayed quiet the whole time —it’s not like we agreed with you anyways “

bakugou leaned back in his chair anger swirling in his stomach as he felt his body sweat at the new heat spreading throughout his whole body.

How the hell did he mess up where the hell did he mess up he explained to you he wasn’t gonna treat you any differently than any other extra here and that went for basic conversations too

Maybe he went a bit far with the dont date em ‘ that was probably it you didn’t like how he said don’t date you because he was the only one who could handle you right ?

He shook his head a bit confused you just wanted him to say that you could handle yourself and didn’t need him right ?

So , why the hell did he feel like he’d done something wrong he wasn’t stupid but he just wasn’t well versed in feelings. He already didn’t know how to handle his own so how was he expected to handle another persons.

To him his words were normal he talked about all people like this hell, he bullied deku for 3 years going as far as to make a special nickname for him

that wasn’t even the worse he could’ve done and you knew that so why was he in trouble and worrying about Icy hot taking his place

He was honestly confused?

Could words really be that hurtful?

could his words really be that hurtful ?

#katsuki bakugo imagine #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #bakugou headcanons #bakugou imagine #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugo headcanons #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsukibakugou #katsuki x you #bnha katsuki x reader #mha katsuki #denki x y/n #denki x reader #sero x y/n #sero x reader #eijiro kirishima x y/n #shoto x reader #mha denki #mha imagines #mha #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #mha headcanons #bnha mina

[arhvste]

MIYA ATSUMU - PROVE EM WRONG 

- summary - irked by his brother and his wife’s flirting in front of him, astumu decides it finally time to prove to his family that he too has settled down and with someone he genuinely loves at that - fluff - x f reader

- an - this is the alternative route to the osamu fic i wrote which is based off of this ask an anon sent in earlier, someone suggested i do both brothers with this plot and i think they were joking but i did end up getting a little carried away and writing two different routes for it so here u go >:)

-

“Oi, Samu! Stop flirtin with ya wife right in front’a me and get cookin, I’m starvin!” Atsumu whined as he rested his head against the kitchen prep counter which was currently occupied with countless cooking utensils scattered across the cool metal surface and various ingredients dotted around.

“Yer just jealous I have a gorgeous wife and you don’t” With a smug smile, Osamu wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist bringing her ��in close enough for him to press a quick kiss to her flour dusted cheek.

“Yuck! Not over the food I’m beggin ya!”

She giggled and pulled her husband back in close to her before turning to give a quick smile to his irritated twin.

“Perhaps we should find you a girlfriend Tsumu! I know a few people who I’m sure would be at least willing to go out on a date with you.”

“Yeah, you’d probably have to pay em first!”

Atsumu huffed before sitting up properly with a smirk painted across his face.

“Actually, no need. I’ve got a girlfriend already.”

Osamu narrowed his eyes at his brother unsure whether to believe him or not. Atsumu was known for being sly especially when it came to him.

“Really? How comes we’ve never met ‘er then?” Osamu quizzed, eyes boring into his complacent brother’s.

“Cause she’s always busy and when she’s not she’s usually at my practices, besides, media’s a pain in the ass we don’t want them following us and bein annoyin wherever we go.” Atsumu spoke matter-of-factly.

Still not buying his brothers claims, Osamu thought of something that would surely catch Atsumu out of his potential lie. He nodded towards his wife to back him up and she sent him a knowing smile already knowing what he was thinking.

“We were thinkin of having the family over this weekend for dinner cause we’ve got an announcement to make, why dont’cha bring yer girl with you?” Osamu observed his twin watching for any signs of panic or discomfort but Atsumu’s face stayed content as if he was trying to provoke the couple in front of him.

“Lemme see if she’s free, I only have training in the morning but I’ll check if she’s got anythin going on before I drag her out.” Atsumu pulled out his phone as he stood up after checking the time. “Ah shit, I gotta get back, Omi’s gonna kill me if I’m late one more time, see you Saturday I guess.” He shrugged and waved to the confused pair left in the prep kitchen.

“Yeah, see you and yer girlfriend then.”

Atsumu smirked as he headed out to leave for practice, the sudden excitement for Saturday to arrive flooding his mind.”

If there was anything Atsumu loved more than you, it was proving people wrong.

“y/n! Baby I’m home!” Atsumu called out, entering the sleek apartment closing the door securely behind him.

“Coming!” Your melodic voice called out to your boyfriend bringing a smile to his face. He heard the sounds of your feet padding across the heated floor towards him. After a few seconds of waiting, you finally reached your tired boyfriend who offered you a lazy smirk as he brought you into his arms.

“There’s my girl.” He muttered pressing a feathery kiss to your cheek before pulling you in for a deep kiss to your lips. He pulled you in even closer, hand supporting your lower back and the other moving down to give your ass a quick squeeze signalling for you to jump so he could carry you. Never letting his lips leave yours, Atsumu dragged his hand from your back to help his other hand in supporting the weight of your body now your legs had instinctively wrapped around his slim waist as your hands carded through his soft golden tufts. He carried you over to the couch and sat, having you straddle his waist before pulling away to allow yourselves to catch your breaths.

“What’s gotten you so worked up?” you huffed as you leant back slightly to look into his glinting eyes.

“Nothin much, saw Samu and his wife earlier… they don’t believe you exist.” A pout etched onto his face as you raised your eyebrow.

“Should I be offended?”

“Nah, guess they’re right, they haven’t met’cha yet, but we’re both so busy we never found the time to introduce ya.”

You hummed as Astumu pouted, face buried in your neck, his warm breath tickling your neck.

“Actually,” Atsumu began. “Would’ja mind comin to meet them on Saturday? Like, my whole family. You can say no if yer busy or if yer not ready I totally get-”

You shut the boy up with a quick peck and smiled gently at him.

“Tsumu, I’d love to meet your family.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course.”

Atsumu felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulder, he didn’t think convincing you would’ve been that easy. He was confident that you would’ve been open to meeting his family at some point, but there was still the lingering thoughts of doubt in which you may not have thought he was taking you or the relationship seriously, but after seeing your genuine smile and hearing your firm answer, Atsumu’s doubts washed away and a satisfied and relieved smile came over his face.

“They’re gonna be so mad when they see just how hot my girlfriend is, yer gonna show everyone who comes up, I just know it angel.”

You playfully hit your boyfriend's chest with a firm look on your face as he laughed.

“Don’t say that! I bet your family's great Tsumu, I can’t wait to meet them.”

Although you’d already said yes to meeting his family, Astumu felt his heart warm at the sound of you saying you were excited to meet his family. The fact you were happy to be involved even more in his life only made him want to let you even further in if he could. Atsumu was never really one for long-term relationships hence why he’d never bothered introducing any previous girlfriends to his family because he knew it would end eventually due to the fact he had to spend so much time travelling and at training. He had been taking a break from dating when he met you. You were introduced as the new MSBY social media manager, you were given the task to run the team’s official social medias, monitor the player’s accounts and keep an eye on certain articles while organising interviews and event appearances. It was a big job but you took it head on from the get-go thoroughly impressing Atsumu who made no attempts to hide his interest in you. Hell, he even went as far as to get scolded by you a few times for posting some risky shirtless pictures to his instagram purely for the fact he knew you were monitoring the accounts and that you’d see them.

5 months later and Atsumu had finally convinced you to let him take you out on just one date. But one date soon turned into two, then three, then seven and the rest was history. He wasn’t sure why you’d eventually given into his persistent flirting and whining but he didn’t particularly care either. He had you now and that’s all that mattered. You were the only girlfriend he’d had who understood and accepted his demanding work schedule because you yourself were on a similar schedule which he thanked the heavens for. Thinking back, Atsumu probably should’ve brought you to meet his family sooner but with the excitement of constant games, intense training, interviews and event appearances and grasping onto whatever time he could get alone with you, proved to overpower the thoughts of how significant it is for your partner to meet your family.

Whatever, they were getting the chance to meet you this weekend so better late than never he supposed.

Saturday rolled round quickly and you and Atsumu were exhausted from a weeks worth of demanding work but there was no way in hell Atsumu was going to forget about how he needed to wipe his brother's smug smirk off his face when he introduced his incredible girlfriend.

Dressing nicely, the two of you rushed out of the apartment a little later than planned but Atsumu didn’t mind. Being a little late just meant more people would arrive before him allowing him to make a big entrance and cause a scene about who he’d brought along. You weren’t an accessory to Atsumu and he hoped you weren’t thinking that’s what today was about. Sure he had a petty side goal, but he was genuinely proud of you and would show you off whenever he could especially in front of the other MSBY players who’d only scowl at him when he’d wrap his arms around your smaller frame from behind while mouthing a ‘mine’ for the other men to sulk over.

You arrived after a 15 minute drive and Atsumu opened your door for you guiding you up towards his twin’s spacious home.

Knocking a few times, Atsumu gave your hand a quick squeeze of reassurance as you felt your heart pound ever so slightly quicker at the thought of meeting your boyfriend’s whole family.

The door was opened by Osamu who already had a look of amusement written across his face, ready to ridicule his brother for lying. His face dropped when he saw you holding his brother’s hand and blinked a few times to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him.

“He didn’t pay you to come with him did he?” Osamu questioned with shock as Atsumu sent a sharp flick to his brother’s shoulder. You hummed in amusement before smiling lazily at your boyfriend’s twin.

“My presence is an extremely high price, I doubt he would’ve been able to afford it if he wasn’t so persistent and annoying.”

“Tsumu, I approve, I like her.” Osamu snickered before letting the two of you enter his warm home filled with members of the Miya family.

A chorus of welcomes came their way as many family members rushed over to gush over how ‘out of Atsumu’s league’ you were and ‘why had you wanted to date someone as messy as him’ only for you to laugh brightly and tell his family countless stories about Atsumu’s antics at training and post match celebrations.

Astumu didn’t even mind you were poking fun at him every so often, growing up with Osamu had gotten him pretty used to it but he was more focused on how naturally you fit into his family. It was like you were meant to be a part of it. 

Watching you as you spoke and laughed with his family, Atsumu let his thoughts wander to when and how he’d eventually go about making you officially part of his family one day.

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @atsunakaashi @peteunderoos @tsukishimagizzard @saturnfarie @toffees-main @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff

#miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #atsumu fic #atsumu scenario #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #hq

[nightswithkookmin]

Hey Goldy, i'm positive Yoongi isn't straight and has been fairly open about it from the early years. So do u think that Yoongi could've influenced Jikook (especially Jimin cuz he is very close to him) in any sort of way on their journey?

Jimin is VERY close to Yoongi

Thank you so much for this statement😭

I feel seen and heard🤧

Not a lot of Jokers out here appreciate Yoonmin's bond😭😭😭😭

The disrespect! How dare they!

In reality, Yoonmin is one of the best ships that reflects the hyung dongsaeng dynamic perfectly in BTS in my opinion- Jinkook and Yoonkook, NamTae are heavy contenders I'd say but Yoonmin is right up there with them. Love Jihope too- if they could cut down on the flirting chilee.

No JHOPE I don't want you to call Jimin sexy or look at him like you want to gobble him with a glass of Sprite- it's weird😭😭😭

But also don't stop

From Suga 'bullying' Jimin, teasing him, praising him, mentoring him, the bickering- he is the biggest PJM right next to JK and Namjoon. I said what I said.

So thank you for this. I literally cried.

Feel so good to hear someone say that.

I'm having an existential crisis at the moment and Yoonmin is what is getting me through it at the moment.

People need to stop invalidating the members' bond. Seriously. Not cool. They all have beautiful dynamics real or not.

But he's gay? 🤔

You believe Suga is gay??

Damn.

He's queer and has been pretty open about it from the beginning???

A lot of people assume that about him actually. I think it's interesting.

Did he influence Jikook, Jimin in anyway...

If by influence you mean support then yes. I think he was and has been very supportive of Jimin and JK individually and has helped them embrace and make sense of certain aspects of themselves.

I think he's more understanding than most of the challenges and difficulties of being young and uncertain of who you are growing up under public scrutiny and in a highly hostile environment.

I think he is wise beyond his age and I have a ton of love and respect for him as both a person and an artist.

I love 'People' so much...

I think the most Iconic thing he's said so far to me is this totally woke, fanservice questioning and ridiculing statement:

'I didn't want to wear the maid outfit. I was surprised when they said it's for the fans. We don't have any interest in seeing girls wear men's clothes so why does the fans want us to wear women's clothes?'

It's weird. Fanservice is weird.

My least favorite moment of his is when he admonished JK not to say things like he'd want a tattoo when he grows up because the fans wouldn't like that.

I found that very contradictory for someone who's life motto is nevermind- or is it I don't give a shit?😏

Find it equally triggering whenever he teases JK about crying too much or being a cry baby as if it's wrong for men to cry. There's nothing wrong with shedding tears. Men cry too.

Then the bit about him not wanting tattoos or just a dot on his toe or feet or something because he has things he might want to do post BTS that having a tattoo would just be an inconvenience... quite conservative I'd say.

He don't give a fuck but then he gives a fuck?

Mans gotta be a realist or I'd chalk up these inconsistencies in his values to the clash between his Persona and his real self.

To be fair, he's not the only one. That conflict plays out in almost every member's outlook.

I see Yoongi as that one person who'd say to a person, go for it but end that advice with a caveat such as, 'but understand people will hate you for it' or some truth along those lies.

He places consequences right next to desire and as long as the person is not oblivious to and can bare the consequences of their actions, decisions and choices then I think he'd ask them to go for it and stand in their truth.

That much I know is his value and I can see how that might have impacted both JM and JK. But rather than encourage them to take risks, I think he pushes them to seize opportunities and put themselves outside- there's a difference there. Their not one and the same.

More than anyone in BTS, I think he understands the gravity of being queer, closeted or being in a relationship with a bandmate in the industry they work in.

I think he is much mature enough to understand the consequences of over attachment and risks of detachment and that too plays out in the way Jikook carry themselves around in the group.

Other than that, I think he minds his business most times.

Do I think he is open minded about conversations on sexuality? Absolutely.

But that's as far as I can go on the topic.

I do not believe he is queer and I'm not convinced in anyway he is pansexual or bisexual either- don't quote his song lyrics to me I already know. Lol.

Boy or girl my tongue will send you to hongkong....

And then his interviews about what he finds attractive in women??

'... it's not limited to boys or girls?'

Lolololololololol

I think that bit was heavily misconstrued.

'I'M NOT GAY'

This was his response when he was asked to talk about moments his heart skipped because of JHOPE. Similar to moments when the members had said their they almost fell for a band mate perhaps.

Other translations of that statement he made in the interview was, 'since we are both men, how can my heart throb for a man' and then he laughs it off.

Knowing Suga, I think he probably meant that in the most ridiculing, most mocking way possible- these interviewers be asking some stupid questions sometimes.

But imagine Suga saying that with two gay members sitting right next to him in that interview and how these members would feel hearing him say that about homosexuality.

One thing about BTS, if they be making loud openly 'woke' statements, take a shovel to their past- it's usually because they've messed up somewhere and are simply acting conscious of the things they say that can come across as problematic. In my opinion.

They do learn and grow from their mistakes. That's one thing I love about BTS.

They've all had their problematic moments as I keep saying.

To me, this interview moment would be one of such said problematic moments if not one very homophobic moment of Suga's- if the translations were right I mean. chileee. Lemme shut up. Lol.

And before anyone says but JK said the same thing too...

JK had a 'fear' of coming across as Gay in his early years. Part of the reason he wanted JM on the west of his east when the cameras came around- in my opinion.

He'd stutter when similar 'gay' questions were thrown his way- prompting Jimin to ask him straight away not to answer said question when an interviewer asked him.

You pair that with some of the members describing him as 'wanting to be manly' or appear like a manly man and it's not hard to figure out what was going on with him.

He'd pause and look at JM funny when JM would describe their relationship as in between friends and romance...

Jimin had to tell him to relax and that it was normal for men to say 'love' to men without it being weird or gay.

He knew gayism was a thing. He simply didn't want to be viewed as one- either because of his own repressed homosexual desires, in which case that would be internalized homophobia or he really really didn't like being thought of as gay- homophobia.

Suga's is different.

He either genuinely didn't know gay was a thing or that some men's heart actually beat for other men- seems to me he thought the idea of a man's heart skipping for another man absurd or impossible- or dude thought he was being a smart pants with that remark. Lol.

Baring his age in mind at the time of the interview, that in anyway reflects his ideals or assumptions about sexuality. That heterosexuality is D norm. That straight is all he can be or should be thought of as- He clearly hasn't read the blogs. He's in for a rude awakening.

If JK had this ideology about sexuality I think he would have been able to hide his sexuality better and not freak out each time people made jokes about it💀

Suga's said explicitly he is attracted to gal's who wear headphones, doesn't like gals who play hard to get- said he'd kick em if they didn't quit playing hard to get (misogynistic and abusive lyrics there but it's hiphop- let's not talk about that) finds it ridiculous that men should wear female clothes, thinks 'men' shouldn't cry.... all the making of a fine gay man😃

Should we chalk it up to internalized homophobia then??

I wouldn't.

A very dedicated Sope shipper will tell you, he said what he said to cover the fact he is gay so there's that. Lol.

I'm just not convinced Suga is part of the community but I think he is open minded now, leans less into his conservative values and more towards progressive values and thoughts.

I don't think he in any way shape or form 'influenced' Jikook to be gay or to do the gay if that's what you were asking.

But I do respect your opinion on Suga. I think we are all free to assume whatever we want in this case.

I might be wrong about him. You might be wrong about him or we could all be right. We will never know.

Thanks for the ask.

Wasn't comfortable answering it though. Lol.

I don't like when I have to watch what I say.

Sigh.

Signed,

GOLDY

[leah-halliwell92]

It’s Over

For @band--psycho​‘s bingo challenge. The prompt is enemies to lovers. Pairing is Tig x Reader

Note: (S/N) = sister’s name

“It was my sister,” you said coldly as you packed your bag.

Flashback

You’d just come back from a week long conference, Tig said he’d be on the road doing club stuff so timing couldn’t have been better. Everything went amazingly well, from your presentation to the doors that had opened for you and your career. Hell you could count the times someone told you to call em if you’re interested in a specific job. You’d done some light research and seen that most are out of state near the Maine area of the U.S. And while that seemed all well and good, you couldn’t just leave the family you’d made behind.

You were making Tigger’s favorite, ready to surprise him by taking it to the shop with promises of play time later. You loaded up the food into your car and made your way to T.Ms a happy grin on your face feeling giddy with all the pent up energy from not having seen your old man in a solid week. Yea there were calls but that shit ain’t the same.

You went through to the office waving at the boys as you passed by. You pressed a kiss to Chibs’ and Happy’s cheeks in greeting as you passed them by batting their hands away from the lunch bag.

“Nu uh,” you said with a grin, “This one is not for you. But let me know what you want me to bring for Sunday dinner and I’ll do my best. By the way have you seen Tiggy anywhere?”

The boys nodded happily but stilted at the question.

“He’s in the back,” Chibs said with a grin.

You noticed he didn’t look quite as teasing as he should have been but chalked it up to jet lag from the bike trip.

Happy didn’t look much better. You were sure if looks could kill someone would be dead with how cold and hard his eyes were.

“Come on little girl I’ll take you,” Happy said with a small smile.

“Lemme put this in tha lounge aye?” Chibs said reaching for the bag.

You furrowed your brows at them and the sudden odd behavior but gave Chibs the bag. You’d never needed any of the boys to take you to the back...

Happy didn’t say much on your way and you were going to say something when you heard moaning and heavy breathing.

You looked to Happy who nodded forward.

You walked up quietly hoping it was one of the prospects getting handsy with a crow eater. Your hopes were dashed at seeing Tig on a chair a woman bouncing on his lap. You covered your mouth to keep from gasping at who it was exactly that was on his lap. Your sister...

You made your way out to where Happy stood a sad look in his eyes.

You pulled out your phone and text widow, ‘Are there cameras in that room?’

You showed him the message and nodded as he confirmed it.

‘Get me a copy of that and make sure her face is visible,’ you typed in.

Happy looked at you startled, he’d never seen you so dead seat on something.

You turned around walked back into the room and took a picture of the deed tearful eyes cold and heart dead.

That done, you turned around and left. Out in the front, Happy and Chibs waited for you both concerned as they looked you over.

You took a seat in the lounge both boys at either side.

“Are ya gonna wait on ‘im?” Chibs asked quietly.

You shrug really not knowing what to do before sighing.

“Is it ok if I crash at either of you apartments?” You asked.

Happy nodded quietly, considering he never uses the place.

“I’ll help ya with your stuff,” Chibs said with a nod.

“No you won’t,” you say with conviction, “Despite everything going on between us now, he’s still your brother.”

“Yea...but if looks could kill he’d be dead,” Happy said with conviction.

You’d become family in the near 5 years you’d been with Tig. You meant a lot to them, even the prospects.

“I promise to keep in touch,” you say taking their hands in each of yours.

They nod and stand one to punch out the other to work the ladder not at all happy with how things ended.

As soon as Happy stepped out to punch out your sister walked out Tig not too far behind her.

“(Y/N)! You’re home!” Your sister said excitedly moving to hug you.

You kept your distance avoiding her hurt look and before she could say anything, you pulled out your phone showing her the picture you’d just taken. 

(S/N) paled at the image.

“It’s not what you think,” she said voice shaky. 

“No you’re right....him and I was not what I thought,” you said voice hard.

She shook her head pleadingly at that but before she could say anything...

“Baby!” Tig cried walking around (S/N) to envelope you in his arms.

You felt sick as he hugged you knowing where he’d been. It also didn’t help that (S/N) had been exactly were. 

“You ok?” He asked when you pulled away, “Did something happen?”

‘Yea you dick you cheated on me with my sister,’ you thought but shook your head and left without a backward glance Happy hot on your heels.

You were heaving from how angry and ready to break you were. Happy saw this and gently held you in place.

“Breath,” he said lowly as you both heard Tig yelling at Chibs.

“I can’t,” you said as tears fell.

“Chibs is being a door stop,” Happy said looking over your shoulder, “But if you wanna leave...”

“We leave after I do this,” you said and walked to Tig’s bike. 

You saw the men freeze as you looked at the bike a not so friendly look on your face.

Before Happy could do anything, you pulled out the knife Tig had given you for Christmas and slashed his tires making sure to leave the knife imbedded in the second tire.

You turn around to see a shocked and mouth agape Happy. 

“Ok...Now I can go,” you said and walked away to your car. 

You were stopped by your crying sister throwing her arms around you as she cried, “(Y/N) please!”

You pushed her off roughly not ready to deal with her yet and ran to your car.

You’d not sooner gotten in you car that you heard Chibs called out, “Move over lass! Ya ain’t in na condition to be drivin’.”

You were about to say no but was pushed to the passenger seat by the Scott. 

“Lemme drive lass, Hap’s holdin’ on ta Tig while ya make yer getaway,” he said with a small laugh as he remembered you’d slashed the bike tires, “Granted he won’ be goin’ nowhere on flat tires.”

Back at home, Chibs found empty boxes to start putting your things in as you told him what belonged to whom while you packed away your clothing.

~End Flashback~

“What the hell man!” You heard Tig yell at Chibs who was loading up the last of two boxes that held your things.

“Babe–”

“It had to be my sister,” you said not turning around continuing to pack your bag.

“Babe please!” He said desperately, walking to where you were and taking things out. 

You slapped his hand, hard, and repacked the clothing he’d taken out.

“And before you start, I saw you don’t give me the “it’s not what you think” crap,” you say as you packed up the last of your clothes.

“It didn’t mean anything!” He yelled.

“It meant enough for you to throw away 5 years together Alexander. Five fucking years I gave to you only to have it thrown in my face cuz my bitch ass of a sister made her cunt available to you while I was away for work,” you yelled turning to look at him, “And the worst thing is that I have no fucking clue how long this has been going on.”

Tig lowered his gaze and scuffed at the rug with his boot.

“How long Alexander?” You asked not really wanting to know the answer. 

“A month...” he mumbled out.

Chibs walked in just as Tig answered the question and looked at his brother in disbelief. 

“You sack o’ shite!” He yelled and punched Tig in the face, “You cheated on the best thing that has happened to ya with ‘er sister for a month! What was it Tig!? Was it the fresh pussy? That she was there? What the FUCK was it Tig!?”

“I don't know!” Tig yelled out as Chibs punched him while he was down, “I don’t know. She came onto me one night I’d mixed two drinks too many and next thing ya know I woke up with her on me.”

“Did it never make you stop and think to come clean!?” Chibs yelled.

“Dude she made me swear not to,” Tig said letting Chibs wale on him for the answer.

You on the other hand stood frozen as everything came to light. 

“She made you swear because of (S/H/N),” you said quietly. 

Chibs turned to look at you questions in his eyes.

“(S/N)’s husband is in the military and is diploid,” you said looking at Chibs, “She’s always been a horny bitch, sad she couldn’t just fuck a prospect and had to go for what wasn’t hers.”

Chibs approached you and nodded to the bags behind you on the bed. 

You nod and he takes them to the car.

“At least now I'm free to fuck any son I want,” you say cruelly, “Because now nothing is sacred, and that is on you. Enjoy the crows Alex, maybe they’ll help you forget about me.”

“But baby I love you!” He yelled after you.

You scoffed and said, “If you did you’d have come to me as soon as it happened. Not gone back for more....fuck you Alexander Trager and hope that this doesn’t make it’s way over seas.”

#tig trager #soa #sons of anarchy image #band--psychos bingo challenge 2021

[flowerrose14]

Oops wait Nevermind it's in your pinned. Lemme rephrase, what is your policy on oc relationships, shipping and so on? Interactions are welcome here which is nice but just asking more in depth. I know you don't like forced ships which is perfectly understandable

👏👏👏!!! *Happy tapping noises* Okayokay gonna need to stop stimming so i can type this out!x'3 Right! First thank you so bloomin much for asking!!;///; And second to answer such a question! My policy thus far when it comes to both ocs relationships and shipping are

-No shipping with ocs that are currently in a relationship! ( Meaning no crackships either please!>:/ not biggest fan of em! Again especially if said character already got a lover .n. Anthony for example he already got a husband Unu)

-BUT that doesn't mean ocs that are married or dating are crossed out from any sort of friendships! (Trust me alot of em need therapy and could use a hug! qnq) Oc relationships such as friendships are very much welcomed to all ocs of mine! If you wanna form a wittle fwiendship between my babs and yours I'd highly encourage it>:3 I'd absolutely love to hear whatever you've got up sleeve!!>:D

-[This be for more of mutuals or fwiends, folks i've gotten use to!] If you wish to plot more detailed relationships, such things like shipping ocs or giving them someone who will make a HUGE impact on their story and life. I'd very much prefer to speak and plan this with you in dms! Go into detail on what could happen and how it'll effect things and Story. [Also would highly appreciate bein informed bout any changes or plans you're making for the character you've put into a relationship with mine!!x'3 cause I'd most likely get very attached to them and have a literal anxiety attack if you plan on shooting them without tellin me before hand<:DD I MEAN COUGH-👏 Y E A H PLEASE KEEP ME INFORMED!!]

-Drawing interactions, such as doodling your oc with mine is perfectly fine!!x'3 Just no forcy stuff>8< if it leaning too much towards a sudden romance outta the blue i'm gettin my broom, i wanna know before hand before you pull out a rose to my child PLEASE Unu also DEFINITELY NO NSFW-! I'll block you for that-[However more stuff like horror or bloody situations i'd say be alright DEPENDING on which character! Anthony AGAIN for example is a dumbass and gets constantly chased by police force and murders uwu👌 And loko existance is just horrifying so placing him next to a creepy as heck oc is very welcome:D

-Oc roleplays are fine BUT PLEASE!! Tell me and ask to plan it out before starting ANYTHING! Do not just write it out and suddenly tag me out of the blue or dm me a starter for a rp i had no clue about [Also 👈👈 wanna know you abit first before we do so!]

-Speaking of though Do Not Draw or Write my characters OUT of characters during interactions either please >:< [If you're unsure how a character would act in certain situations just ask qnq don't just write them without knowin anythin bout em and makin em do stuff they'd never dream of doing]

Hopefully this be enough detail of the current policy! I'm very open with ocs of mine getting to meet or know others, oc related asks or interactions are more then fine! But if you want to start getting more specific and in detailed. Start making things cannon that'll not only effect mine but your oc too I'd want to 1.Discuss this with you,have a conversation before putting anything into action to a point were we both be hap AND comfortable with it!uwu 2.Also know you more first!! 👈👈 [Alsox2 I know both me and alot of people have put this but pls for love of god don't be shy or a stranger now \;n;/ if you crave both chaos and fluff just as much as i do we'll get along, and may be already!uwu *happy tapping right at you fwiends/mutals* THANK YOU ALL FOR READING THIS CHAOTIC POST AND THANK YOOOU DEAREST ANON FOR SENDING SUCH AN ASK!! REVEAL SELF FOR SENTENCE OF HUGS-!! Which may be delayed DUE TO THIS GODDAMN COLD>8/

#my art #digital art #responce #asks #persona #my persona #sapphire #lucy #doodles #but as i've said i be recovering!!8'D #to the point i truly hopin it clears up enough by tomorrow so i can #start getting things here done .////. #also i'm so bloomin curious whom this be q/n/q damn it i wanna hug ya you literally made me stim- #small bit of random chaos for all yous wonderful folks uwu/✨ #hope you have a marvelous rest of night/day/evening and i shall #hopefully see you all soon!! <3 <3 <3 #and here's hopin i got everythin down my head still feels full =w='

[the-stubborn-exchange-student]

Pride Cometh Before the Fall (Part 2)

Part one can be found here

Pairings: Lucifer X Alexis (...?), bits of Mammon X Alexis if ya squint

Summary: People don’t always make the best choices when upset.

Notes: Originally, I’d intended to write this big ol’ dramatic confrontation, specifically among the brothers, but when I started writing that wasn’t really the direction the story was heading in. So instead, we have....//gestures vaguely whatever this is. Maybe not quite as angsty as the first portion was, but as I was writing it seemed like I wanted to focus less on the hurt and more on (eventual) comfort, and the ties between the characters.

Tagging @kcabyap​ because I know they were interested in the hypothetical part 2, hopefully I don’t disappoint aaha;;

“Alexis, wait--!” He’d called, body rooted to the spot. Even as his previous words had come out, he’d known they were wrong. He’d wanted to take them back.

But it was too little, too late, it seemed. Alexis was in no mood to listen to another word.

Lucifer couldn’t blame her. She was just trying to protect the heart he’d broken so easily. All the same...there had to be a way to fix this. A way to make this up to her. A way to go back to how things were, how he wanted them to be--

“Lucifer? Is everything alright?” Diavolo frowned. “You seem distracted...”

“No. I’ve broken up with the love of my life, over a stupid matter. And I may never be able to repair the damage.”

“I apologize, my Lord. My brothers have merely caused a good deal of trouble today.”

“I see. There truly is never a dull moment among your brothers.” Diavolo chuckled. “But tell me, where is Alexis? I was looking forward to her joining us.”

“Alexis...sends her apologies. She isn’t feeling her best, and I assume she’s returned home.”

“‘Assume’?” Barbatos asked, looking up from the tea he’d been pouring. Even so, not a single drop was spilled. His expression was as neutral as ever, but something unmistakably concerned flickered in his eyes. “It isn’t like you to not know where Alexis is.”

Ah. Yes, there was that. Lucifer had been very adept at keeping track of the exchange student, even before he’d had any real emotional attachments to her. It was unlike him to fail at that...or to be almost dismissive of it.

“...Lucifer, are you certain you’re all right?” Diavolo asked again. “Tell me, please. Perhaps there’s something I can do to help.”

It needled at his pride like few other things did; he didn’t need help. And Lord Diavolo had far better things to do than help an underling like him settle a squabble...

...No. this was more than a mere “squabble”. And it was his damn pride that had caused this problem in the first place.

“Alexis ran off. I can only hope she ran home, but I don’t know for certain.”

“But why? She knows the dangers the Devildom can pose to a human, even one with the pacts that she’s made.”

“We...fought. I’ve upset her. Hurt her badly.”

“You...after everything, you’re...you’re dumping me because you think I make you look bad??”

“Oh...Lucifer, what happened?”

“No one worth your time is going to condemn you for having a heart, Lucifer!”

Lucifer was spared from answering Diavolo’s question when his D.D.D. went off. And then went off again. And again.

“Your brothers?” The Prince asked, even as Lucifer irritably tapped the screen to bring it to life.

He knew it was a slim chance, but a part of him was nevertheless disappointed that none of the missed calls or texts were from Alexis.

The brothers’ group chat, on the other hand, had flared to life, and it took a bit of scrolling to figure out everything that had happened.

[Lucifer: Beel, tell me you didn’t actually tear the kitchen apart.]

[Mammon: Yeahhh, he totally did.]

[Beelzebub: I’m sorry...]

[Beelzebub: I was hungry. No one’s made dinner yet.]

[Satan: Well, now no one is going to be able to make dinner for a while.]

[Mammon: Dammit, and it was Alexis’ turn to cook, too. Why’d ya keep her stuck at RAD, Lucifer?!]

The last message sent a bit of anger spiking through his chest, although it was almost immediately quelled by a fearful tightening.

They thought she was still with him.

He’d thought for sure that she’d gone home.

...Where was she?!

“I apologize, Lord Diavolo, something’s come up,” Lucifer said. The panic beginning to course through his veins had already propelled him out of his seat. “Alexis never made it back to the House of Lamentation.”

Similar expressions of alarm flickered across both Diavolo and Barbatos’ faces, and the former gestured to his right-hand man that there was no harm done.

“Barbatos and I will search the castle and surrounding grounds, just in case. Keep us posted, Lucifer.”

The firstborn nodded, quickly striding out of the student council room, gloved fingers flying across the D.D.D.’s keyboard.

[Lucifer: Alexis left RAD some time ago. She should be back at the house.]

[Mammon: Hey, hey, wait a sec! You just had her go back on her own?!]

[Satan: I never thought I’d say this, but Mammon’s actually right. Why wouldn’t you walk her back?]

[Belphegor: I guess he didn’t want to keep his precious Diavolo waiting.]

[Lucifer: That’s enough, Belphegor.]

[Belphegor: Tell me I’m wrong, you can’t. What, you just decided Alexis wasn’t important anymore?]

It must seem that way, especially to Alexis herself. But she was important to him. More important than his pride.

So why...why had he hurt her so badly?

[Lucifer: Belphie, do something productive with that energy and help me find Alexis.]

[Belphegor: Hmph. Fine, I’ll give you a hard time after we find her.]

[Mammon: I’ll get my crow familiars and have ‘em check out town!]

[Asmodeus: I’ll call Solomon!]

[Leviathan: I’ll wait at home in case she comes back!]

[Satan: Lucifer, as far as I’m concerned, whatever happens to Alexis while she’s gone is on your hands.]

He said that as if Lucifer didn’t already know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When this sort of thing happened in movies and books, the weather was always almost storming. It was as if it was nature’s way of showing how the character’s world was ending, crumbling down around them.

No such weather was accompanying Alexis as she walked aimlessly along. It was a clear day in the Devildom, and if anything, the silence only drove home just how badly she was breaking.

At least if it was raining, like a movie, she’d be able to use the sound to try and drown out everything else running through her head.

Truth be told, Alexis had no idea how long she’d been moving, or how far she’d gone. She’d run for a good while longer than she would have thought herself to be capable of, and when the burning in her lungs and her legs forced her to slow down, she’d found herself pushing on at a slower pace.

Her D.D.D. vibrated in her bag, again and again--some part of her wished she’d left the damn thing back at RAD. After it rang for the fourth or fifth time, she let out an aggravated noise, pulling out the offending device.

[Mammon: Yo, Alexis! Where’re you at?!]

[Satan: Alexis, please let me know when you get this. I’m not sure what happened, but we’re all very worried about you.]

[Beelzebub: Alexis, please come back home. I’ll treat you to Madame Scream’s. Anything you want, just let me know you’re okay, please...]

[Solomon: Asmodeus just called me in a panic, asking if I know where you are. What’s happened? Are you okay?]

[Mammon: Darlin’, answer your phone, please. Ya don’t gotta tell me what’s wrong, just at least lemme know where you are so we can come get you.]

Her screen was filled with messages, a new one popping into existence almost faster than she could read the previous ones. Each new one made her heart ache--they were all so worried about her, probably losing their minds trying to find her, and here she was just...running off like a child, in a place she knew could still pose a very real threat to her.

[Lucifer: Alexis, please, talk to me.]

...God, she wanted to.

Newer messages were already taking its place, but Alexis didn’t seem to even register them. Her vision had blurred, hot tears rendering the phone screen nothing more than a blur of color and light.

She wanted to. She wanted to talk, to understand, to forgive, to forget this entire day ever happened...

...but she couldn’t. She couldn’t let herself.

[Alexis: No.]

[Alexis: You’ve already made your priorities clear. I’m not interested in anything you have to say.]

[Lucifer: Alexis, tell me where you are. Now is not the time for spite.]

She glared at the screen even as she let out a disbelieving noise. She wondered if Satan, somewhere, could feel the traces of wrath that had flared up inside her when she read that.

[Alexis: Are you fucking kidding me? You dumped me and now you’re mad that I’m upset? What right do you have to be upset??]

[Alexis: I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to even look at you right now.]

[Lucifer: I’ve made a mistake, love. Please.]

Oh...that was...

Even when they’d started dating, Alexis knew apologies did not come easily to Lucifer. When he’d admit he was wrong at all, it was through actions. Never exactly words. He...he was really being sincere...

...No. No, she couldn’t assume that. She’d thought he’d been sincere when he told her he loved her, but with how easily he’d just...cut her off...

[Alexis: Let me guess. The “mistake” was leading me on.]

[Alexis: Like I said, you’ve made your priorities clear. There’s nothing left to say.]

[Alexis: I hope you had your fun, at least.]

Even as she backed out of the chat, Lucifer was already typing, and Alexis was choking back another sob.

It was be easier if she could bring herself to hate him. Easier still to simply not care at all. But she couldn’t. She’d never be able to.

She loved him, truly and deeply, and that hurt most of all.

Alexis knelt down on a patch of grass, hands shaking as she opened another chat.

[Alexis: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking and just took off, I’m so sorry I made you worried...]

[Mammon: Alexis!! You’re not hurt, are you?!]

A difficult question. Physically, no. But the rest of her was a very different matter.

[Alexis: No, no...I’m not hurt. I am kind of lost, though. Some forest-y looking area.]

[Alexis: I just want to go home, Mammon...]

[Mammon: Okay, treasure. I’ve got my familiars out in full force, we’ll figure out where you are in no time. Sit tight, the Great Mammon’ll be there before ya know it.]

Alexis set her D.D.D. aside, leaned against a gnarled tree, and listened for the sounds of crows.

#Hi hello I've managed to hurt myself writing this so Imma just....lie down #obey me #mc: Alexis #Alexis' writing

[vanchlo]

The Firsts / #5, “The First Time Without”

*not my gifs*

---> NEXT BLURB: Um, not sure with finals coming up . . Check the series masterlist for updates!

READ THE ASSISTANT, AKA WHAT CAME FIRST

SERIES MASTERLIST    

READ ON WATTPAD

LEGEND:

+ : a break in the story; a time jump.

and i’m too lazy for italics bc tumblr ignores formatting like that i do in Docs so sorry

WARNINGS: Swearing, distressing topics, hella lotta angst and sadness

WORD COUNT: 16.5k words (WOWZAS!!!)

SONG: Hurts Like Hell by Fleurie (click to listen)

                                          * Sneak PeeEEEK! *

“‘ve rehearsed it so many bloody times in me head, but now, I actually get t’ talk t’ you and I can’t rememba,” he admits softly with shame painting his voice, and an out of place smile.

“All I know . .  ‘s that I miss you and it scares me how much I can miss you sittin’ at a meetin’ with you across tha table. I miss you like you’ve gone . . but inna way, you have. I miss you in so many ways, walkin’ in tha door at home t’ you, findin’ you’d claimed me sofa again fer anotha day workin’ t’getha, or even that you’d be usin’ one o’ me favourite coffee mugs or jumpers. I miss those small things, and then, I even miss wakin’ up next t’ you, talkin’ t’ you ‘bout songs, ‘bout art, or gettin’ yer advice on a recipe or an argument inna case. ‘d missed you like mad befo’, but nuthin’ compares t’ this. Didn’t know I could miss somebody so much that ‘m always sore from it, that I ache when I see you and can’t touch you or talk t’ you.”

“Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end. If not always in the ways we expect.”

- Luna Lovegood

*

“You can only actually help someone who wants to be helped.”

- Jojo Moyes, Me Before You

+

It smelled of metal and disinfectant around me, but I tried to drown it out with the images I scroll through. The electronic beeping wormed its way into my thoughts, but I welcomed the respite from the chaos toiling around in there. Images of friends and casual strangers litter my Instagram feed and instead of looking away when the dinging stops, I continue, distracting myself. That in itself seems to be my job for the last few weeks, owned by the number one job of not thinking about it. It’s followed by another important task of not crying in public, and saving it for at home despite the place owning that name changing recently. I’ve failed at all of those jobs the second I think about the person who I called my home for so long now, and can’t any longer. 

The new smell is what gets me at first, and immediately, the pictures are forgotten. I know before I look up that the facade is broken. Then, everything is shattered within a few moments, no matter how good I’ve gotten at ignoring him, or pushing down the feelings when I see him across the table at a team meeting. I’ve gotten good at the pretending part, but the only person I’ve never been able to do that around is the very one who accompanies me on the elevator now. My bad luck echoes when I finally chance a glance and I leave it for too long, because then he looks up and meets my eyes. 

Harry. My home . . but he’s not that any longer. 

“Hi,�� he risks with a gentle curve of his lips, and a softness in his eyes that he holds in his hands for me too. A softness that never left him once I worked my way into his heart all of those years ago, it’s one that I still can’t allow myself to get rid of. 

“Hi,” I return curtly, tearing my eyes away from him, and his new suit. A mauve ensemble with a raven black button up underneath. Spiffy, indeed. It feels like a mini marathon to look away from him in that suit, and how it hugs him in all of the right places. The biceps, the chest, how it opens at his wildly attractive throat, reminds me of the base that we never hit when my eyes venture too low, and his bum. No, I can’t see it from my view right now, but I’d made sure to have seen it earlier today. 

“‘s good timin’, I was wonderin’ if we could talk,” he ventures out on a limb to say, and my eyes are rolling before he gets to finish. 

“I don’t want to talk, Harry.” 

“Becks, please, jus’ lemme finish, bug,” he says, and I wonder how he can be so gutsy to use those two coveted names within one sentence. Despite his bravery, the gesture does its job, and I gulp against the longing that climbs up my throat. 

“No, you don’t get to.” 

                                     Several Weeks Earlier . . . 

“And just what are you mmming about?” I giggle under the spray of kisses he scatters across my face. 

“‘ve been waitin’ all day t’ smother you in kisses, that’s why,” he hums against my skin, bringing goosebumps to the surface with his warm breath so near. A laugh sings from me when his fingers linger to a ticklish spot on my side. 

“Harry, don’t you dare!” 

“Sorry, swear I didn’t mean t’,” he giggles in between kisses that he sponges down my chest. “Mmmm, I love these so much.” 

“And why is that?”

“Why all tha questions, lovey?” he says, asking one of his own. He lifts an eyebrow at me from under the hood of his dark, thick eyelashes. A dimple collapses into his cheek while one corner of his mouth raises. “Can’t I love yer tits without havin’ t’ say why? Rather sure y’know why, anyways.” 

“Yeah, you’re obsessed with them,” I say, a laugh sputtering from my lips. A groan interrupts them when he teases me with those lips. “It’d be nice if you could not make jokes about them while our coworkers are around.” 

“Hey, I didn’t know My was in tha copier room, ‘s not me fault. Y’know he doesn’t give a shit about our PDA at work, and c’mon, Becks, they really did look incredible in that blouse t’day,” Harry winks from below me, lips venturing to the space above my belly button. “I love ‘em, they’re pink and perfect.” 

A redness sits in my cheeks as I titter, pressing the back of my hand against my shy lips, embarrassment coating them thickly. “We should be taking down the Halloween decorations instead of this.” 

“Hush you,” he murmurs. 

His hair is tangled and yet handsome when I catch my fingers in it, scratching my fingernails against his scalp. My eyes stay glued to it and his figure hunched over me, lips stopping at the hem of my underwear. I already know about the smirk lining his lips when he lifts his head to pose a question to me with his eyes. 

“Hmmm?” he murmurs, but I shake my head, again. “C’mon, Becks, it’d feel good, love. I wanna taste you.” 

Shaking my head once more, a refusal hums from me as my cheeks turn to the color of apples that I hope he can’t see. He sighs with a shake of his head, clucking his tongue at me while pressing kisses to the inside of my leg, soon reaching the pillowy flesh of my inner thigh. Closing my eyes, I press my lips together and sigh, my arm falling over my chest. I try to remember when I had lost my shirt and when he had lost his, but these days, it’s hard to remember if it was after the first kiss or the fiftieth. 

His lips reach further down my thigh and close to my blush colored underwear, a lacy part I’d bought recently. Once his lips had ventured down there, a knot inside of my stomach appeared, and it only grows tighter as his lips drop lower. It threatens to unravel when his nose brushes against the hemline, pushing it back to kiss the recently hidden flesh of my hip. 

“Harry!” I exclaim, tugging softly at the hair on the nape of his neck. 

“What? I was jus’ gettin’ t’ tha good part.” 

“You know I’m not-.” 

“I know,” he groans, situating himself high over top of me again like we had started, and with a kiss to the lips too. Despite the gesture, I can see the tension in his jaw and the annoyance in his eyes. “I can’t eat you out and I can’t fook you, so what ‘s there left fer me t’ do, huh?”

“Kiss me,” I say, and for some reason, it comes out sounding like a question. He huffs and bends down to place his lips on mine, but from the start, it doesn’t feel right. Now, I can feel the tension in his shoulders and the rigidness of his lips on mine. “What, are you not into this anymore?” I inquire after ending the kiss, twirling a curl of his around my finger on his neck. 

“No, ‘s not that,” Harry answers, eyes straying from me. A hand lifts from the bed and he draws invisible shapes on my skin with the lightest of touch until it runs loose on me. 

“Stop playing with my boobs and look at me,” I laugh, laying an arm across my bare chest and lifting his chin. The playful glint he so often holds in his eyes is there, but once my laugh falls away, it does too. “You’re being impatient again, aren’t you?”

“I jus’ dunno why we can’t do mo’, Becks, we’ve been t’getha ten months. Loads o’ couples have sex befo’ then and tha girlfriend lets their boyfriend eat ‘em out too.” 

“We’re not other couples, Harry, and I’m just not ready,” I say, combing the stray curls off of his forehead. My hand wanders to his smooth cheeks that already feel sandpapery despite him shaving this morning, right next to me as I washed my face. 

“I know, ‘m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. Does Mr. Impatient want some head?” 

“Nah, ‘m good. Let’s jus’ go eat dinna, ‘m hungry,” he says sadly, climbing off of me and the bed. 

“That’s not what your dick is saying,” I respond, sitting up and pulling my shirt over my head, watching as he pulls a pair of joggers over his briefs to hide the bulge in his underwear. 

“‘m fine. Now, what d’ya want fer dinna?” he continues, stepping in the hallway, forgetting his shirt on the bedroom floor. 

“Dick.” 

“Fine, you can make yer own dinna, sassy pants!” he calls to me, joined by the sound of his bare feet slapping on the wooden stairs. 

With a sigh, I close my eyes and fall back onto the bed with a little bounce, thinking about him. I think about the look on his face when it was between my thighs, then between my breasts, and nosing at my underwear. What is wrong with me to deny that man? I don’t know, I want to do the deed with him- I want to make love to him and for him to make love to me, but for some reason, I’m just not ready. I have a weird feeling about the whole thing, like I should wait. I just wish that I knew the why.

+

I hear it before I see it, like I so often do. It runs a trail down the hallway and to my ears, pulling my lips into a smile long before I see the one sitting on his. 

“What on your phone is so funny?” I inquire, stopping in front of his desk and dropping his mail next to his keyboard. Another giggle tickles his lips as he pinches his bottom lip between his fingers, staring at something on his phone. 

“Yer dad ‘s what.” 

“I should’ve known,” I sigh, falling onto one of the chairs in front of his desk, watching as his thumbs flit across the screen. “I swear, you talk to my dad more than I talk to him, and he’s my dad!” 

“Uh oh, ‘s somebody gettin’ jealous now?” he teases, lifting his eyes to look at me as he sets his phone down.  

“No, why would I be jealous of you texting my dad? It makes me happy.” 

“Hmm, not sure I believe you, bug,” he remarks, popping a mint into his mouth, immediately chewing it. Sometimes, I really don’t get him. “Then why d’ya get so bent outta shape sometimes, hmm?”

Clucking my tongue, I huff with a smile that hugs the corner of my lips, “Maybe because he doesn’t answer when I call because he’s talking to somebody else.” 

“Hey now,” Harry titters, gesturing a hand at me to come to him once I’ve stood up. “Don’t be that way.” 

“I’m not being any way,” I say, turning around after considering the books he’s added to a new shelf of his. These ones are music biographies, big surprise. 

“Sure ya aren’t. C’mere, me stubborn girl,” he beckons, and I obey, taking slow steps over to him until I walk between his legs. “Hi.” 

“Hi,” I return, just as softly as he had uttered it. His rose lips spread into a sweet smile, reminding me why it’s always so damn hard to stay mad at him. 

“Are you grumpy?” Harry asks with the most adorable of pouts poised on his lips, winking at me. 

“No, I’m not grumpy. Are you ready to get started on this case? We really can’t be dawdling, you know.” 

“I know,” he answers, sadness stuck to his words. It guides his actions that lead him to look away from me, pulling me closer until he rests his forehead below my collarbone. 

“Then why are you these last few days? I thought you were so excited that we got this case, everybody else fought us for it.” 

“I am, but ‘s intimidatin’. I dunno if ‘m cut out fer it,” he says, slowly extending his fingers along the small of my back, and then pulling them back into a fist. In and out. In and out. “What if we can’t win it, Becks?” he asks, lifting his head to meet my eyes, and I wish I couldn’t see the blatant fear held in them. 

“Then we can’t. We can only do our best, Harry, that’s what you’ve always told me.” 

“And what if my best isn’t good enough? Ev’rybody ‘cross tha whole bloody world ‘s watchin’ this case, waitin’ t’ see what happens,” he continues, avoiding my eyes entirely, now tracing the pattern on the front of my blouse. 

“It will be, and it is, Harry. I promise you.” 

His head slowly moves up and down, but no words leave him. His questions bounce off the walls in my mind, replaying themselves, and I only wish that I could express my worry too. I’d certainly grown more confident in my abilities since I started working with him, and I owed it not just to his teachings, but also the confidence that he’s instilled in me. I hadn’t given him the go ahead for us to split a case equal between us, and I never knew when I’d be ready for that, so I’d always leaned on him and his skills, but now I was worried to do that. I’m afraid to, and I’d never been before. 

“Everything will be okay, Harry.” 

“I hope so, Becks,” he croaks, laying his forehead on my chest and his closing eyes flutter against my skin softly. I hold in the sigh that I want to let fall, but instead, I run my fingers through his hair and down his back, unsure of what more I can do. If there was anything I couldn’t be sure of, it was the future and what it held, and how little I knew what was coming.

+

It started that night, daunting and unwilling to let go, and if only I’d known what it was the beginning of. 

I kept checking my phone, staring at the clock that moved like molasses, and waiting for the text that wouldn’t come. Exhaling loudly, I swipe across the screen until his name is waiting for me, and I do it before I can stop myself. 

Are you on your way home yet? It’s supposed to snow tonight, maybe it is already. I don’t want you to get caught in it with bad roads

The word ‘delivered’ appears and then stares back at me, almost taunting me. Before my eyes, it changes to ‘read’ and I wait for the gray bubble to pop up on his side, but it doesn’t. I watch and I wait, and nothing happens. No thumbs up, no text reaction, no ‘b home soon,’ like he so often sends. Not a thing. I forget how long I sit there watching my phone screen, tapping at it when it grows dark, and wishing he’d send something. It got even later when I finally press the lock button and set my phone down on the nightstand, glancing at the alarm clock beside it. 

11:38. 

I tried not to worry and I tried not to overthink it, but I was already past that when I turned off the light. My heart continued to ram against my ribs as I slid under the cold blankets in an empty bed, watching the steady glow of the streetlamp outside the window. I lied there and I tried and I wanted to, but I couldn’t fall asleep. I had a hard time remembering the last time I had slept in a bed without him, even before I moved in we had sleepovers at his. I wasn’t sure how I’d get any sleep for another day of work tomorrow, knowing that I’d be up in seven hours, and so would he. That’s if I could shut off all of this worrying and fall asleep, if only. 

I listen to the whir of cars passing along on the street, and I find myself wishing one of them is his, but it’s too long until it actually is. The space around me had grown warm, but if I move a leg too far, I’m greeted by icy sheets. It had never been that way, I could always move a little and find him and his warmth. Sometimes, I’d wake in the morning and he was all around me, clinging to me and my heat. 

It was in the middle of a long, sleepy blink that I heard a door open downstairs, and shut. It was loud, a clumsy kind of one, and so are the footsteps that soon come up the stairs. A sigh tickles my ears before the door opens slowly with a squeak, and his feet pad through our bedroom. I only see a flash of him before he ducks into the ensuite bathroom with what looks like a handful of clothes. I watch the shadows that interrupt the bar of light under the door, and listen to his whistling and humming amidst the sloshing of running water. 

His eyes are tired when he opens the door again, and they only look all the more exhausted when they find mine in the lit darkness. 

“Why aren’t you sleepin’, bug?” he rasps, stepping forward in his outfit of nothing but joggers donning his legs. He claims that he can’t wear a shirt without getting too warm, because I heat the entire bed, or so he says. Right now, I don’t believe it. 

“I couldn’t . . without you.” 

“Oh, Becks,” he frowns, padding across the hardwood floor and pulling back the sheets to slip under them. “Brr, ‘m cold, warm me up, would ya?”

“Ugh, you’re freezing!” I exclaim, my nervousness melting away into giggles that tickle his neck as he wraps me in his arms. 

“Mmmm, now that’s better.” 

I hum a reply into his chest, dragging my fingers along his spine, touching the wispy baby hairs that cover his body like down. The questions from before still rummage around in my mind, looking for purchase. 

“Why were you out so late?” I decide to ask, smelling the toothpaste we use on my own breath, and then his. 

“Didn’t mean t’, jus’ lost track o’ time with Rore. We had some drinks and I didn’t wanna drive home buzzed, so I waited it out and had some waters.” 

“Good boy,” I reply, nuzzling into his cozy chest, feeling the feathery hair there tickle my face. Yawning, I let my body relax now that mine is finally back with his, one specific question hiding in the back of my mind. “But why didn’t you answer?” I mumble without caution, feeling myself begin to melt into a puddle of sleep against him. 

“Answer what?”

“Your phone,” I drawl, losing the feeling of my fingers and then my feet. 

“Jus’ go t’ sleep, bug. It doesn’t matter.” 

“Okay,” I hum in reply, not even sure of what he’d just said. “Goodnight, Harry. Love you.” 

“Night, my Becks,” he responds with a peck to my head, sounding far away.

+

The tapping of my shoes against the tiling fills my ears as I flip through his mail, noting which ones should go on top for him to see first, and what can remain at the bottom to be forgotten about until later. Something I’d accidentally fall back into the habit of when I returned to the firm, despite being a lawyer now, and not his assistant. Humming a tune I had heard earlier today, I look up and stop in his doorway, finding myself in an odd moment. With his eyes bent down, I can tell that he doesn’t know I’m there yet, and that he does it because he doesn’t see me. 

“What are you doing? It’s nine o’clock,” I titter, covering my mouth when my voice scares him, causing the brown liquid to spill over the side of his mug. 

“God, can ya maybe not scare tha shit outta me next time?” Harry almost retorts, mopping it up with a napkin before screwing the cap back onto the bottle. 

“Harry, I said, what are you doing?” I repeat, click clacking my way into his office and dropping his mail on his desk, yet again. 

“What? ‘s jus’ whiskey. Can I not make my coffee a li’l irish ev’ry now and then?” he questions, lifting the tall mug to his lips to sip from, steaming wafting against his face. 

“I guess so,” I trail off, waltzing back to the sofa and picking up my laptop. Sitting down, I place it on my lap and open it back up, watching the long pull he takes from the mug. Bringing up the internet browser I was using before, I scroll through the document as I try to forget watching him fill the mug nearly half of the way with whiskey.

+

“Harry?” I call out, toeing off my chestnut colored winter boots, hoping he won’t notice the puddle of water next to the shoe mat. He’s such a dad with the things he gets cross about, I swear. “Hello, are you home yet? I brought you some leftovers from Skye’s, you know, for dinner.” 

Padding into the house, I’m met with darkness and a soft silence. I don’t find my boyfriend sprawled out on the sofa in the living room, a show on the telly. I walk past the large flat screen and knock on the door of his study before pushing it open, finding that that room is also dark. 

“Harry, hello?” I almost shout again, taking the steps two at a time until I reach our bedroom, wondering if he was taking a nap after his early morning, or if he happened to not be feeling well. Once again, I come up empty handed, and my head begins to spin as the cogs turn inside of it. 

“Hullo?” the voice on the other side says whilst I pad down the stairs quickly. 

“Hi, where are you?”

“‘m at tha pub with My, why?” he says, and I can tell by the sound of clinking glasses and loud voices coming from his side. 

“Oh, just wondering. I thought you said you were coming straight home to work more on the case,” I begin, intending to continue but I don’t get the chance to. 

“No, I spent all bloody day workin’ on it, why should I spend me night off pourin’ over it too?” he nearly retorts, and I stop in my tracks before the island, taken aback by his tone. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t say you had to or anything, Harry. Is something wrong?”

“No, ‘d jus’ appreciate not havin’ you nag me like yer me mother or sumthin’. ‘m an adult, can’t I go out fer a drink at tha pub afta work? Reckon ‘ve deserved it, dontch’u think?” he continues with a carry to his voice that I don’t like, and it only begins to make sense once I’ve picked out the slur in his words. 

“Yeah, of course, just don’t drink too much, okay? And drive safe. Maybe don’t stay out as late as last night, you have an early meeting.” 

“I jus’ said don’t bloody nag me, and look what ya start doin’,” he bites back and I shudder, taking a seat at the island to steady my feet. 

“I didn’t mean to, Harry, I just care-.” 

“If ya fookin’ care so much, Becky, then stop treatin’ me like a damn baby,” he spits at me, and I hear the dial tone. 

“What the fuck?” I mutter under my breath, pulling my phone away from my ear. I grimace at the image on my lockscreen that only makes the wound sting worse. 

Dinner went down harshly and so did the glass of wine that I had with it although regrettably. Watching FRIENDS without him was a bore and it didn’t last long, afraid I’ll only piss him off further if he came home to see me skipping ahead in our show without him there. I whittled away at the next things to be done in the case - research this, research that, take notes on this, get these statements, bladdy blah. All just to busy my mind and to make the clock speed along until he came home, and hopefully, when things would go back to normal. 

Before I knew it, it was getting late and I was still home all alone. A warm bath didn’t calm my nerves and it only made me wish that he was sitting across from me under the suds, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t lying in the bed waiting for me when I got out, skin all shriveled like prunes, no matter how badly I wished he’d be home after my long bath. He hadn’t walked in the door after I read a chapter from my book, spoke on the phone with my dad, or wrote in my journal. I at last flicked off the bedside lamp and tried to fall asleep in a cold bed, once again.

I woke with a start to a loud slam! downstairs on the main level of the house, presumably a door. Failing to ignore it, I turn over and tug the covers higher, unable to tune out the sound of his loud footsteps climbing the stairs. Sinking lower into the messy covers, I keep my eyes shut and listen to his sloppy movements before they arrive him in the bed next to me with a huff. Words sit in my throat, itching to be said, but I only let one of them out. 

“Harry?”

+

It had become old, very swiftly and very quickly. For the next few nights, I sat alone at home, wondering and waiting for texts that never came, only to fall into a fitful sleep in a cold bed, all alone. I’d awake the next morning to the sound of him emptying his stomach into the toilet, and either leaving for work without me, or being a monumental crab-ass on the drive there. As the days carried on, I couldn’t remember for the life of me the last time his coffees weren’t Irish. I ignored it, and after a few days of doing that, I knew that that’s where my mistakes had begun. 

The door slowly creaked open and dragged in was him, glossy eyed and surprise etched on his features. 

“What d’ya want, mum? Gonna chew me out fer stayin’ out past me bedtime?” he jokes at me, closing the bedroom door behind him as he waltzes in wearing a disheveled version of today’s suit. 

“What’s going on with you?” I ask, twisting the rings around on my fingers, lingering on a new one that had appeared on my hand last week. Sometimes, it hurt to remember that it was there, but I could never get myself to take it off.  

“Oh, here we go,” he sighs, slamming closed a drawer to his wardrobe. Avoiding my eyes, he unclasps his belt and lets his trousers fall to the floor. “Nuthin’s goin’ on with me, I dunno why ya think sumthin’ ‘s.” 

“Yes, there is, Harry. You’ve been out late drinking every night this week, and I’m sick of it!” I confess quietly, unsure of where to find the fervor in my voice, or well, the volume. An ironic laugh curves at his lips as he undoes the buttons of his crimson red shirt. 

“I don’t rememba askin’ how ya felt ‘bout it, or needin’ yer permission eitha,” he retorts, achieving malice and cruel intent in a matter of seconds. It’s all too much when he meets my eyes with his unforgiving stare, and I have to look away. 

“Why are you acting like this?” I say, the incoming tears already decorating my words. His heavy sigh only makes my throat burn worse with its impending dryness. 

“What, are ya gonna fookin’ cry now? Bloody hell, ya can be a brat when ya wanna be,” he slurs, slinking off his button down that hits the floor silently. Sniffling, I look up and watch him slide on pajama bottoms to cover his dark black briefs. 

His tattoos grab at my attention from across the room, but I don’t want to fall asleep tracing them like I would any other night, because that’s not him standing across from me. It may have taken me a few days too long to realize this, but it’s not. That’s not my Harry. No, it’s the Harry that I first met that September day when he barked his Starbucks order at me. 

“It’s the case, isn’t it? It’s taking too much of a toll on you, Harry. You should give it up, or hand it off to somebody else. I don’t like this you, you’re drinking too much and-.” 

“Did I ask fer yer opinion? Y’know what? No, I don’t rememba that. Now, my bloody god, would ya leave it be so I can get some sleep?” he interrupts in a retort, heavy feet padding around to the other side of the bed with a wobbliness to them. He rips back the covers and sits down, grabbing his charger to plug his phone in. Swiping at my cheeks, I grab my pillow and anxiously begin my trek to the door. “Goin’ t’ sleep on tha sofa, are ya now? Good, maybe you’ll stop naggin’ on me then.” 

His voice that usually would lull me to sleep and drive the demons away instead keeps me away, guiding me down the steps until I stop on the last one. My butt burns when it falls onto the wooden step and I bury my face in my knees, my chest shaking with a new sob. 

I eventually scrounge up the might and energy to pull myself off of the staircase and across the room until I collapse onto the sofa, and cry myself into an uneasy sleep. 

The smell of eggs and toast wakes me the next morning, but the illusion is broken when I hear the slam of the door to the garage, and the hum of his car pulling away.

+

The sounds of Mozart and Beethoven meander around my office, but they fail to drive away the incessant thoughts that have buried their way into my mind. They mask the signalling sound of his footsteps that I could pick out from a crowd. 

“Hey, ‘m done with me meetin’ now. Ya wanna come t’ mine and we can finish up the openin’ statement?” he says, but as much as my heart reaches out for him, I can’t do it after the other night. Sure, casual conversation had happened since then, but he had also been missing in action for almost the entire weekend recently. A nice dinner together last night wasn’t enough to wash away the hurt from that night, and all of the others. “Becks?” Harry repeats, taking a step into my office. The door closes with a squeak that I’ve been meaning to ask him to get fixed, but something as simple as that hadn’t seemed possible in the last week, and neither had a kiss or a hug. Not even on our official ten month anniversary that came and went uncelebrated yesterday, despite his urging last week that we should do something to celebrate it. 

“No thanks, I’m fine in here,” I say softly, feeling the eggshells underneath my feet as the words make their way out. 

“Uh, okay,” he answers. “‘ll grab you fer lunch with me mum in an hour then. She picked Henry’s down tha street fer pizza. We haven’t been there in a while,” he finishes, and I wonder how he can manage such small talk after the things he had said to me. I ask and come up empty when I question how I could even let him. 

+

“And again, why are you hiding out in my office?” 

“I’m not hiding out in your office,” I insist, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear before resuming my typing. 

“Uh, yeah you are. You have your own office, don’t you remember?”

“What, I can’t hang out with my friend and work together?” I say, lifting my eyes to meet Asher’s sky blue pair that squint at me in question. He shakes his head with his lips parted, ready to say something, but he just sighs without an answer. 

“What tha hell?” somebody shouts, the blinds on Asher’s door swinging and swaying after the initial shock of its opening. I see Ash’s look before the intruder’s, but I’m afraid that I already know what it will be. 

“Harry-,” I begin, standing to my feet and pushing my laptop to the side, unsure of how I didn’t see this coming. 

“I was waitin’ fer you fer half an hour at tha restaurant, and so was me mum. You stood us up and wouldn’t answer yer fookin’ phone!” he explodes, taking another step inside Asher’s office. Asher begins to say something to him, but I get lucky and push Harry out of the room before he can get a chance to respond. “And you’d been sittin’ in there tha whole fookin’ time?” he continues, his words soon sounding different when I push him into the lift. 

“Now, you know how it feels.” 

“Know how what feels?” he bites back, prying my hand from his arm and taking a step back. I press a button at random and try to push down the hurt I felt when he picked my hand off of him. 

“To be waiting around for you, and to be stood up by you. You’ve been doing it to me for the last week, so it’s only right that you feel a little bit of my pain,” I say curtly, swinging around to face him, watching the smug grin plaster itself to his face as he wipes at his mouth. 

“So, this ‘s ‘bout you, ‘s it? God, what’s fookin’ new?” he sighs with an ironic laugh that feels gross in my ears. 

“No, it’s not about me, Harry, I-.” 

“D’ya know how that looked t’ me mum? I couldn’t get you on tha phone and ya never showed up. Ya made it look like we’re havin’ problems, Becks,” he says, stepping into my sentence, and this only gets me going further. 

“Who’s to say we aren’t, Harry?!” 

“‘Scuse me? We aren’t havin’ problems,” he begins, denying my claim as he uses his hands to talk. “We’re fine!” 

“Yes, we are, Harry! You get drunk every night after work- wait, let me start over. You pregame with Irish coffees all day at work, and then disappear every night to the pub only to come home around midnight out of your mind drunk!” I exclaim, feeling my blood boil as he shakes his head in disagreement, but I wish I could say that I’m surprised. 

“Yer not turnin’ this ‘round on me,” he tuts, pointing a finger at me as ice coats his words. “I have a drink or two at tha pub, there’s nothin’ wrong with that.” 

“It’s not a few drinks, Harry, it’s more than that and it’s becoming a problem! You have a drinking problem!” I insist, wishing I knew the magic key for how to get my words across to him, but they falter and run off on me. 

“I don’t have a drinkin’ problem, Becks, and ‘m gettin’ real fookin’ sick o’ you always monitorin’ me like ‘m a bloody baby! ‘m not, ‘m a grown ass adult, and if ya forgot, ‘m yer bleedin’ boss ‘round here. ‘m not likin’ tha attitude yer havin’ with me and if ya continue it, ‘ll take ya off the Gellar case.” 

“Fine, take me off it. I don’t give one fuck, Harry, because it’s hell working with you on that case. You’re almost drunk all day at work, you give me the shitty jobs to do, and now, here’s a perfect example of you taking your shit out on me!” I argue back, but the fire soon disappears in my words, and with my next ones, I watch it extinguish on his face. “Why are you treating me like this? I-I’m concerned for you and I’m trying to help, and you’re being so mean to me. It’s inexcusable . . I want my Harry back . . I wish you’d never taken this high profile case, because it’s destroying you, and I’m scared that it’ll do the same to us.” 

A flash of my Harry appears on his face, but I don’t wait to watch it disappear, walking off the lift and back onto Seventeen and away from him.

+

My feet seem to have a mind of their own the next day, inching one way and then itching to go in another. I ignore them and remain in my office for another day of sulking, trying to apply myself to this new case with Rose, but it’s a swing and a miss. The buzzing of my phone is something I’ve learned to ignore, but when I see that it’s my dad or Skye, both of whom I’ve neglected to tell about Harry and I, it becomes all the harder. 

That thought is dislodged by the knock at my door, a simple gesture that as of late can send my stomach into somersaults, wondering who it is. I’m reminded too quickly of the times when I sat at that shitty desk in the corner, and how I feel far too much like that person right now. The girl who was unappreciated and who was treated like shit by her boss. 

“Hey. I thought today’s meeting was cancelled, something about Myles being out and the drunk that I regrettably call my boyfriend is well, drunk again,” I say, hoping the man of the hour isn’t passing behind Rose right this second to hear my speech. 

“No, um, it’s still off. I uh . . “

“Spit it out already. What’s wrong?” I ask, screwing open my water bottle and slowly pouring a small stream of water into the succulent on the corner of my desk. Harry’s plant, the very one he’d named Frankie all that time ago. For what reason, I don’t remember. “I don’t know what that look is for, it’s not like my life could get any worse right now . . or can it?”

“It can,” she says, breaking the ice, but I’m not sure if she’s doing it slowly or ripping off the bandaid in one pull. “Harry’s telling people that you quit the case because you were afraid you wouldn’t be able to handle it.” 

“God, I really am going to kick the shit out of him one of these times,” I groan, setting down the steel water bottle loudly and haphazardly screwing the cap on. 

“Becky, don’t,” she warns me, stepping forward and trying to block my path to the door, but she hasn’t even made a dent. “Starting another row with him isn’t going to help anything. I just saw him and he’s practically asleep at his desk, he’s drunk so much.” 

“I don’t bloody care, I’m not going to let him spread rumors about me, his own fucking girlfriend,” I retort, taking the last step until she’s practically shoving at my shoulders. Huffing, I meet her eyes and for an instant, I feel bad for her and what she’s had to watch. “Rose, don’t. Please. I need to speak to him. I’m sick of his immature teenager act, he’s being a right asshole, and he deserves to be told it.” 

“Fine,” she sighs softly, hands dropping before she steps to the side. 

My feet pound around the corner and down the hall, taking only a few moments until I arrive at his door. I savor the way he jumps in his chair when I slam his door shut, only to sink back into the expanse of pricey leather. 

“What d’ya want? ‘m tryin’ t’ sleep here, haven’t ya noticed?” Harry drawls, sleepily. His eyes flutter closed again and he swallows before trying to get comfortable in his chair again. 

“Well, maybe if you came home at a half decent time each night you wouldn’t be falling asleep at work, but I guess you just can’t put down the bottle, Harry. By the looks of it, you can’t at work, either,” I say, curling my lip when I see the empty bottle of vanilla whiskey sat open on his desk. God, he really is going to get his ass fired or demoted one of these times, not to mention start a smear campaign for the firm. 

“This shit again? I don’t wanna fookin’ hear it, Becks. Give it a rest, ‘m a grown adult, I can do what I please.” 

“So talking shit about me to your coworkers is doing as you please, is it now?” I say, coming out and dealing it, right then and there. Something in him stills and his eyes slowly open and try to focus on me. I think I see apology and regret in them, but I whip off any rose colored glasses I still had on and chuck them to the side. “I’m your girlfriend, Harry . . What the fuck is wrong with you?” I exhale, feeling the first tear when I blink and turn away from him. I try to ignore the pang I feel in my chest when I don’t hear my favorite voice calling my nickname from behind me, but I guess it’s time that he stopped chasing after me. It seems to be coming to an end . . I just wish I’d known when the beginning was. 

After a quiet cry and a few YouTube videos, I meander my way to the break room for my lunch, bumping shoulders with somebody when I walk in the door. Automatic ‘sorrys’ leave our lips as I continue my mission to the fridge where my leftovers sit. Leftovers from another lonely dinner without Harry last night. 

“You alright, Becky?”

“What?” I ask in surprise, at last looking up to find the culprit of the question. “Oh, Myles, hi. I’m fine.” 

“You don’t look it. Harry doesn’t either lately, there isn’t a theme, is there?” he almost jokes, but I don’t laugh as I press random numbers on the microwave. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m alright, thanks. No offense, but you’re kind of the biased best friend. Trust me, I know. I have one of them too.” 

“Well, trust me, ‘cause I’m not,” he insists, and when I look around, pretending to take a gander, my eyes drift to the door habitually. “Here, maybe this’ll help.” 

I watch him cross the room to stick a key into the door and the lock flicks with a metallic sound. 

“What will people do without their tea and lunch? You may as well be starting a mutiny,” I say, trying to lighten the atmosphere around us, but I find it’s no use when he stops at my side with a grim expression. 

“I haven’t seen him drink this much, since well . . you left.” 

“Huh,” I hum, less of a question and more of a realization, one I hadn’t wanted to make. “He’s sure doing a good job of working towards that again . . I hear he’s been saying things about me.” 

“Swear I haven’t heard a thing, and if I did, I wouldn’t believe a word that comes from his drunk ass lately.” 

“It seems you’re the only one,” I laugh almost ironically, but it comes out sounding sad as can be. Hoping and praying, I try to hide the sniffle as the microwave door opens with a pop! 

“Sure I’m not.” 

“Rose told me he’s telling people I left the Gellar case because I was scared, when in truth, he kicked me off it because I’ve been on his ass about staying out late every night drinking,” I risk, staring down at the steaming container of food, forgetting the spoon set to the side to stir it at the halfway mark. “He’s my boyfriend, and my best friend. He’s supposed to protect me from the people who want to hurt me, not become one of them,” I reveal, each word becoming heavier with tears that try to swallow my voice. “Why is he doing this, Myles? This isn’t the Harry I know . . it’s that one I first met.” 

“Oh, Becky,” he sighs, stepping forward and pulling me into a hug. “I don’t know. I wish I could tell you why, I’ve wondered meself . . He’s got issues, even he knows it, but . . he has a hard time of dealing with ‘em. He ignores ‘em instead, with whiskey. You shouldn’t take it like this, it’s not fair to you.” 

“I try. I’ve tried talking to him and being nice about it, but he doesn’t listen to me. He won’t stop drinking and it scares me, how he acts and the things he says,” I confess in a blubbery voice against his suit jacket. “I never thought I’d have to do this and I hate that I have to . . but I don’t want him to be my mentor anymore, Myles, please. Maybe Rose, instead. Can you do it without him finding out and getting even more mad at me?”

“Yeah, I can sneak it past him, don’t worry.” 

“I wish I could,” I nearly whisper, pulling away and grabbing the hot container whilst I swipe at my wet cheeks, ignoring the burning heat against my skin, knowing that that’s the mildest pain I’ve felt in days.

+

A few days later, I’m greeted by darkness and silence after the key clicks in the lock, and my footstep is the first sound in the house. 

“You’re sure you want to do this?” the words echo inside of my skull, but I can’t find the confidence I had when I had first heard them, when I need it so badly right now. “I’ll support whatever decision you make, Ree, and you know you always have a place to stay here.” 

“Thanks, Skye,” I had said then, and I mutter now too as I stop in front of our bedroom door. The quiet embeds itself into every nook and cranny, but I welcome it and only wish that it could replicate itself in my mind. 

The pounding of my heart grows louder when I push the door open, and the beginning tears don’t mask it when I drop the suitcase onto the bed. The sounds only worsen as I open drawers and take items out to fill the zippers, leaving an emptiness behind that couldn’t compare to that I hold inside of me. 

My head moves every which way, trying to memorize the sights around me, but all I see and all I hear are the rows we’d had the last few nights here. In the kitchen after he tried to sneak inside reeking of whiskey, or the night before in the living room when he came home shouting at me about why I didn’t finish the opening statement, despite being dropped from his case. Then another over him growing mad with me for not answering my phone, deciding if he wasn’t going to answer my texts and calls, then why should I bother to answer his. 

I feel the grooves and the raised edges, sure I’d at least memorized those as I pull it from my pocket, watching the color blur before my eyes. My thumb slides across the medal wet from my uncontrollable tears, and at last, I place it on the island counter with a small clack!, finally letting go. 

“What’re ya doin’?” a voice says softly out of nowhere. Spinning around, I blink back the tears until Harry focuses in front of me. His thick eyebrows furrow above his murky greens, and only then do I see his boots kicked off by the doorway that had gone unnoticed by me, and his coat draped over the staircase newel. 

“H-Harry,” I stutter, swallowing against a dry throat that deprives me of any explanations I could muster. 

“Becks, what’re ya doin’? It looks like . . . ,” he trails off to look at the item, his words escaping him until they shine brightly in his eyes, and wrench at my heart. “Looks like yer movin’ out, and without even tellin’ me. What, was I supposed t’ come home t’night t’ find yer key on tha counter, and piece it all t’getha meself? And tha night befo’ I leave fer me case? How in tha hell ‘s that any fair, Becks?” 

“Harry, I- please-.” 

“No, why should I let ya explain? It doesn’t seem ya were gonna bother t’ leave me a note or even break it t’ me,” he continues quietly with astonishment wild on his face, and in his voice that smells rough and hard with alcohol. 

“Harry, I was just going to stay at Skye’s tonight and while you were away. I-.” 

“Then why leave tha key, huh?” he asks, voice growing firm and so does the green in his eyes. “God, ‘m so sick o’ arguin’ with you, seems that’s all we do lately. ‘m jus’, ‘m done, Becks. I really am.” 

“Harry, no. Please, don’t say that. You’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re saying,” I say hurriedly, stepping forward and dropping the bag. It hits the floor with a bang! just as he turns away while dragging a hand down his face. 

“I know what ‘m sayin’, Becks, and I know ‘m done dealin’ with all o’ this shit. Fer havin’ such an ungrateful girlfriend who nit picks ev’ry li’l thing I do, ‘cuz ‘s jus’ never good enough fer her.” 

“Harry, that’s not true,” I sob, following him with my steps that feel more heavier as I continue, but he seems to be moving further and further away from me. 

“It ‘s tho’, y’know it ‘s. ‘m . . . ‘m doin’ it fer you, ‘kay? ‘m doin’ what ya can’t do, ‘m callin’ it. We’re done, we’re breakin’ up. We both knew it was comin’,” he mutters, and I no longer can make out the sounds in his voice or what it holds, because I can barely see him through the waterfall of tears. 

“Please, Harry, I don’t want to break up. I’m sorry.” 

“Sometimes sorry doesn’t cut it, isn’t that whatch’u say t’ me?” he retorts, at last stopping to face me fully. The splashes of black and brown covering his body turn ashier and darker the longer I look, but it doesn’t compare to the look on his face. 

“But I love you . . and I know that you love me too.” His eyes run away from me and finally, so do his words. “Harry, say it back, please. We can just pretend this didn’t happen, and go to bed together. We can sleep it off and talk about it in the morning before your flight,” I cry, watching his face devoid of emotion show me nothing when I can’t stop showing him. When I could never learn how to close myself off to him, he finally learned how to close his book to me so I could stop reading him. 

He stares at the floor, his only movements are his eyes blinking and his hand scratching at the back of his head. The seemingly permanent glossiness to his eyes wavers and tears appear in them, but something pulls me backwards and away from him. I take the steps and wish that they could rewind time too, but they only bring me to the case that I place in my hand without deciding to. I look up and walk over to him, unsure of when my legs had begun to move, or if my body was doing all of this for me, because it figured out that I can’t. I just, I can’t. 

“Go, Becks, ‘kay? ‘ve made me mind up, we’re over. Leave befo’ tha snowstorm gets too bad,” Harry announces in an absent, choked voice, his hand falling from his head as my chest shakes with sob after sob. His eyes budge up a little but they avoid mine entirely, and so does he as he walks around me and up the stairs. 

I don’t remember deciding to walk out the front door, or getting into my car, but I’m there when I curl inward on myself as tears cascade down my face. I’m fully there as the stitches that he put in my heart are ripped open and all of the memories that he filled my heart with spill out, stinging one by one. I’m there as I watch the lights in the house turn off and the one for our bedroom turns on, and I immediately correct myself, knowing that it’s not ours anymore. I sit there until I can muster the energy to drive, telling myself that he’s not mine anymore, and I was a right idiot for ever telling myself that he was.

+

The sheets are cold when the blaring of the alarm awakens me, and I turn over, inching a foot across the mattress in search. It’s met with only coldness and I slowly peel my eyes open, searching with them now, for her. Sitting up, I rub a knuckle into my bleary eyes, trying to focus my sight on the emptiness on the other side of the bed. 

Questions fill me and answers fleet me as I pad down the stairs and past the front door, arriving in the kitchen. Turning a light on, I squint at the sudden brightness that sends throbs through my head. It’s accompanied by another throb when I spot the lone purple key sitting on the marbled countertop, away from the half burned candle and the cribbage board with a deck of cards atop it. 

I’m not sure how I got there, but I feel the cold of the wood floor all around me next, accompanied by the hot tears flowing down my cheeks. The answers come fast and painful in my insides, and opening my eyes, I watch last night replay before me, and what I did. What I did to her, and to us. Myles’ words over the last few weeks resound in my head, and they won’t stop. 

“The fuck are you doing? You’re going to screw everything up if you don’t stop before it’s too late!” 

“It is too late,” I mutter under my breath, feeling the cool wooden floor beneath my forehead as I curl inside myself, wishing she could come and save me. But that’s the last thing that’s going to walk in that door, because I made it so she has to save herself, and so do I.

+

Violins and harps dance around my empty office, and I try not to look up and lose myself in the images of memories that seem to stick to every corner of the room. Him opening birthday presents on the sofa, the makeout sessions on the same piece of furniture, the almost first kiss by my window, the first time I saw my office with him in tow, and all of the times he’d work over my shoulder planting kisses along my neck. So many more of them float around the space vying for my attention, but it’s stolen away when there’s a rap on my door. 

“Come in,” I say automatically, looking back at my computer screen, putting back on the mask that I’ve donned for however long it’s been now since it all started, and the three days since he left. The ‘I’m okay’ mask, something I can’t even believe. 

“Look at my pretty girl,” they say, and despite the way I could never mistake that very voice, for a split second I want to and wish that I could be right in my mistaking. It takes more than I have to look away and up at him, and the tears are already close and on their way when he smiles the saddest kind of one at me. 

“Dad, what are you doing here?” I ask in near alarm, standing to my feet, afraid of what his answer might be. His lips fall flat and my confirmation is right there, although I’m unsure if I ever needed it, because he speaks for it himself. 

“Skye told me what happened with Harry. I’m so sorry, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he almost coos, and holds out his arms before I could ask. They’re open for mere seconds before they close around me and my shaking figure. “It’s okay, Boops, I’m here. It’s all going to be okay.” 

“No, it’s not. I don’t know if there will ever be a time again that I feel okay,” I sob into his shoulder, gradually finding my words and feeling the sting of having to repeat it for the second or third time. The sting grows worse remembering the morning after crying on Skye’s lap and not knowing if I’d ever be able to stop. No matter what time it is, it never gets easier. I don’t think if I’d had any warning, it would’ve been any less harder.

+

The raucous of laughter, shouts, and praises sound outside the door and I wish I knew why. Shaking my head at the obscene volume, I flip to the next page of the magazine, finding DIY Christmas decorations that according to this magazine, everybody and anybody can make. 

“No, thank you,” I mutter to myself, completely vetoing Christmas this year, despite knowing that I’ll have to make it to Madley for the traditional weekend spent at my dad’s in only a few weeks. I just don’t know how I’m going to manage it knowing the person I can’t take with me anymore whose name will be on presents sitting under the tree. The same name claims gifts that I’d hidden in the attic at ho- at his home, long forgotten by now, or I wish. 

“Hell, you really do get prettier ev’ry day,” somebody mumbles from behind me, and I pause mid page flip. I’m glad that I wasn’t holding my tea, or else I know it’d be painted all over the front of my heather gray dress. Now, that would be a disaster, but I know it doesn’t compare to the one that intends to unfold within the next few moments. Swallowing hard, I silently turn to the next page and ignore the greeting. 

“Ya weren’t at me welcome home party that the firm threw fer me.” 

“There wasn’t enough room,” is all I say, neglecting to mention that I had no idea until now, despite should’ve knowing how the pieces went together. His appearance. The loud voices and cheering just outside the door that’s only a few steps from the lift. It’s my saving grace for how I was rarely ever late back in the day. “You won it,” I remark, sure it’s less of a question and more of a statement. 

“I did.” 

“Congrats, you put on a good defense from what I hear,” I announce in a voice devoid of the emotion that usually accompanies that word. 

“Thanks . . but I don’t deserve it,” he begins shyly, and I hold back my response that only eggs his self-deprecation on. “I dunno how I did it tho,’ ‘cuz all I could think ‘bout tha whole I was there was you. Ev’ry second fer that entire week it was, ‘what ‘s Becks doin’?,’ ‘what’ll I say t’ her when I get home,’ ‘what can I say t’ her,’ ‘I dunno what t’ do at this part, what would she do?’” he pours out, and I gulp past the impending desert that’s signalled its return. No, I’d made it a few days now without them, I can’t break that streak now. No, not now. Please. 

“It seems you didn’t need it, you did just fine without me,” I answer bleakly, aware of the knives that my voice holds and how they stab with the voice devoid of anything happy and bright. 

“That’s not true,” he argues, and I hear the first step, and feel it in the hairs rising on the back of my neck. I feel it in the squeeze of my heart and the goosebumps on my arms that long for his touch and also fear it. I hear the crack in his voice and the wet sniffle that plays in the empty room. “I couldn’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout you and how I fooked ev’rythin’ up, even befo’ I left. I woke up that mornin’ and knew ‘d done it . . ‘d jus’ been home befo’ here and all o’ yer things were gone, and I never thought comin’ home could be so fookin’ hard . . I-I tried so many times t’ get ahold o’ you but ya wouldn’t answer, and I can’t blame ya. I can’t believe how I treated you, Becks, and ‘m so fookin’ sorry . . . I haven’t touched a bleedin’ drop since that last night, and I never want t’ ‘gain. I never want t’ go that long without talkin’ t’ you ‘gain, it felt like I was losin’ me mind ev’ry fookin’ day missin’ you so badly. Meant it when I said ‘m not sure how I won tha case when I couldn’t get you off me mind.”

“Get used to it,” I retort, closing the magazine swiftly and spinning around. Flashes of color greet me, but I turn away from his figure and make for the door. 

“Becks, please, don’t,” he begs in a voice spilling with emotion. “‘m sorry, ‘m so sorry,” he whimpers, the warmth of his fingers pressed to mine feeling like the first rays of sun in the spring. Ripping my hand from his, I don’t let him try to melt the ice that he planted inside of me. 

“No, Harry, you don’t get to just waltz in here and sorry your way out of this. It’s not that easy this time,” I say, hoping he feels the bite of my words, but I see it when I take the leap and look into those endless greens. “You really fucking hurt me, Harry . . You were my best friend and you hurt me more than anybody I know . . You were supposed to protect me from others doing that to me, but you did it too. How can I ever trust you again?” I begin to cry, knowing that it’s about to be Niagra in here if I don’t skedaddle. Whimpering, I dash out of the door with the image of his flooded sage eyes stinging in my own, and how my heart lurches at the regret of not wiping them away.

+

His eyes drift repeatedly from the floor to ceiling window and back to his wrist, tapping at it only to walk away with disappointment. He may have closed his book to me, but I still remember so many of the pages, and I can’t figure out how I could ever stop knowing what they say. After Myles finishes speaking about the upcoming elder’s meetings, his bottom lip becomes caught between his teeth like a vice, and then I know it’s bad. I look away when a few too many seconds have followed, risking that he’ll catch my stare. If he’s found it in the recent few days since we last spoke in between tears and in between pages of a magazine, he hasn’t made it known. 

I feared this team meeting, the first one with him back and sitting at the helm with Myles. He looks fresher and no longer sporting the alcohol sweats and beard, but something is still missing. He’d gotten his hair cut and it’s hardly any different, but it’s not that. His suits are perhaps a little more wrinkled, but that’s not the last puzzle piece, either. I knew what it was, but I didn’t want to say it. No, not after I saw the way he smiled at his new intern, Frankie, she called herself. Francine something or other, it is. Beats me. I’m sure she probably had a name for each of her boobs as well, seeing as how they could probably be seen from space. I watched her admire him too, but I doubted she saw the circles under his eyes, or the way his lips looked like they’d never smile again. I was almost positive she couldn’t see the way his suits hung a little looser on him, or how he rubbed the naked skin of his left hand’s middle finger, missing something. 

I wondered whether or not to linger once everybody was dismissed, but even if I had wanted to, how could I? She followed him like a puppy. I hope I had never done that, or that somebody would have put me out of my impending doom- I mean misery, if I had been. He walked out of sight, and somehow, all I could think about is how the back of his head is still just as cute, and so is his bum. 

Several coffee refills and trips to the loo commenced until I found myself pulled to his doorway, pretending to be walking to Gwen or Rory’s office. God forbid, I ever give that asshole the time of day, I’d never hear the end of it. For the first time, Ms. Boobs is missing in action, and I never thought I could be more grateful for somebody’s absence. Last week only seemed to argue with that, now that I think of it, and how something inside of me warmed every time I saw him in the hallways. It sparks until a fire ignites when I catch sight of his backside facing me until it turns around, and at last, I’m caught. 

Defeat covers his features and the surprise inches away, leading him to look down at his messy desk. “Hi,” I say, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my slacks, still wishing they made fleece lined ones. 

“Hey,” he returns in a squeak that shrinks in comparison to his beautiful voice. 

“It’s today, isn’t it? Your gran’s surgery . . the hip?” I ask, taking one step forward, and then it’s two. 

“Ya,” he hums in reply, sorting through what appears to be an overflowing stack of mail that’s been forgotten since his trip. 

“How’d it go?”

“She’s still in. I keep waitin’ t’ hear sumthin’ but there’s nuthin’,” he answers plainly, tearing certain envelopes in half and others automatically go into the bin for shredding. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sure everything will be okay, she’s really healthy and strong, Harry.” 

“I dunno, Becks, ‘m so worried. It shouldn’t take this long,” he sighs, bringing a hand to his face while his head goes back and forth. It’s only a moment until I hear the hiccuping of his breath and the sound of tears shed against skin. 

Against better judgement, or any for that matter, he’s in my arms in seconds. My hands are running courses up and down his back, even daring a go at his hair now and then, whilst he sheds sadness into my neck. 

“Everything will be okay, Harry,” I insist, and which he only shakes his head at. “It will be, you just have to believe it. I have a feeling.” 

“How can ya say that? How ‘m I s’posed t’ believe that, Becks?” he whimpers, pulling away and staring at me bleary eyed with tears coating his cheeks. “I dunno that there’ll ever be a time ‘gain where things are okay,” he finishes, spinning on his heel and escaping down the hallway, leaving me high and dry. I only wish that my eyes could claim that truth, as well, but that’d be a lie.

+

It smelled of metal and disinfectant around me, but I tried to drown it out with the images I scroll through. The electronic beeping wormed its way into my thoughts, but I welcomed the respite from the chaos toiling around in there. Images of friends and casual strangers litter my Instagram feed and instead of looking away when the dinging stops, I continue to look, distracting myself. That in itself seems to be my job for the last few weeks, owned by the number one job of not thinking about it. It’s followed by another important task of not crying in public, and saving it for at home despite the place owning that name changing recently. I’ve failed at all of those jobs the second I think about the person who I called my home for so long now, and can’t any longer. 

The smell is what gets me at first, and immediately, the pictures are forgotten. I know before I look up that the facade is broken. Then, everything is shattered within a few moments, no matter how good I’ve gotten at ignoring him, or pushing down the feelings when I see him across the table at a team meeting. I’ve gotten good at the pretending part, but the only person I’ve never been able to do that around is the very one who accompanies me on the elevator now. My bad luck echoes when I finally chance a glance and I leave it for too long, because then he looks up and meets my eyes. 

Harry. My home . . but he’s not that any longer. 

“Hi,” he risks with a gentle curve of his lips, and a gentleness in his eyes that he once held in his hands for me too. A softness that never left him once I worked my way into his heart all of those years ago, it’s one that I still can’t allow myself to get rid of. 

“Hi,” I return curtly, tearing my eyes away from him, and his new suit. An ensemble a shade of mauve with a raven black button up underneath. Spiffy, indeed. It feels like a mini marathon to look away from that suit, and how it hugs him in all of the right places. The biceps, the chest, opens at his widely attractive throat, reminds me of the base that we never hit when my eyes venture too low, and his bum. No, I can’t see it from my view right now, but I’d made sure to have seen it earlier today. 

“‘s good timin’, I was wonderin’ if we could talk,” he ventures out on a limb to say, and my eyes are rolling before he gets to finish. 

“I don’t want to talk, Harry.” 

“Becks, please, jus’ lemme finish, bug,” he says, and I wonder how he can be so gutsy to use those two coveted names in one sentence. Despite his bravery, the gesture does its job, and I gulp against the longing that climbs up my throat. 

“No, you don’t get to. You haven’t earned that just yet.”

“What d’I have t’ do, Becks?” Harry questions in a sigh, a hand dragging through his hair. It falls with an impatient slap to his thigh. 

“I dunno, Harry, maybe you shouldn’t have become a neglectful drunk in the first place,” I retort, stepping forward to stab the button of the closest floor, so I don’t have to do this. 

“How many times d’I hafta say ‘m sorry? I could say it a hundred times and ‘s not gonna be enough, ‘s it?”

“No, it won’t,” I answer, continually hitting the button. 

“Stop pushin’ it, yer gonna break it or sumthin,’” he warns, and just like he said, the contraption lurches to a stop. “Now, look what ya did.” 

“I didn’t break the bloody elevator, Harry.” 

“Sure, ya didn’t,” he sighs and even in the near dark, I know that he’s biting at his lip beside me. 

Huffing, I step back until my back hits the wall, watching him in the soft glow of the emergency lights. Slowly, that night from Halloween comes back to me. I watch how he pulls his phone out and dials a number and talks to some invisible person, just like the time before. His fingers card through his hair similarly, and his lips utter sighs and curses like then too. 

“‘s tha snowstorm, ‘s shut off tha power in tha entire firm,” he announces after saying goodbye and pulling his phone away from his ear. “They’ll get t’ us but it might be a while.” 

“Doesn’t the firm or at least the elevator have a backup or something?”

“I dunno, ‘m tha lawyer, Becks, not a bloody mechanic. I don’t deal with that shit,” he mutters with a shake of his head, typing away on his phone. 

Groaning loudly, I slide down the sleek metal wall of the elevator until my bum meets the cold and dirty floor, just like before. 

“I guess we’re stuck with each other for a while then, it’s your dream come true,” I mumble while folding my arms across my chest. He flits his eyes over to me only to roll them before looking away. “Oh, so you don’t want to talk to me now?”

“No, ‘d rather not, if yer not gonna try and listen t’ me,” he admits sadly, stepping back and leaning against the wall. A similar sound leaves my lips and I look down at my lap until my eyes habitually return to him. I finally let myself look at him for the first time in, what, a month? It seems like a lifetime ago that I could at last look at him for however long I wanted without it being weird or him saying something. Without my hidden feelings being betrayed. “There’s mo’ t’ do than jus’ stare at me, y’know.” 

“Sorry,” I whisper, looking to my lap and turning a ring around my finger absentmindedly. 

“Ya still wear it?” 

My eyes dance to him without a decision to do so, like they so often did, and my nod is immediate as well. His smile seems rather instantaneous too, appearing before my eyes as I watch him. His ring on my hand had caught my eye, one of his I’d stolen at the before everything went to shit and slid it on my thumb. It’s the only finger it’d fit on, and I’d almost forgotten it was there, but it’d become a nervous habit of mine as of recent, although hypocritical in the slightest. 

“I thought you’d taken it off, hadn’t seen ya wear it.” 

“It felt too weird not wearing it,” I reveal softly, embarrassment fighting for a spot in my voice, but I’m not sure if that’s how it could be described. 

“I guess that says sumtin’, or ‘least I hope it does,” Harry says, looking to his feet with a sad laugh that’s short, like a staccato. This all feels like one, a standalone chapter. Perhaps an episode from The Twilight Zone, almost. 

“You were my best friend, Harry, that’s not something you just forget,” I say quietly, unsure of if he hears me, but his nod tells me so. If that hadn’t, the emotion that swells in his face does it for me. 

“Then why did you?” he asks, meeting my eyes and I find the pain in my heart matched in the greens. A shade I’ve missed so immensely, and that grows hazy in moments. “Why’d you forget about me?”

“You really hurt me, Harry. I never thought you could hurt me so much.” 

His sniffling encourages the tears that flow from my eyes to join his just as the sound of his footsteps initiates him sitting down beside me. At first, it feels too close and too dangerous, but then I look at the gap that separates us. It’s been larger and unbreakable before, but somehow, this feels exponential too. It somehow had returned after its departure when I had pressed my lips to his, because after that, neither of us let it live again, and we always took the step that wasn’t there. 

“So, what do I say if I can’t say sorry?” he says in a voice choked with pain, propping his arms on his bent knees out of the corner of my eye, holding his wrist with a circle of fingers. 

“I dunno,” I answer tearfully, wiping below my waterline, wishing I had the answers so that all of this could stop. “I wish I knew, but I don’t. If I knew I’d tell you, because then this all could be over, and I could stop missing you so fucking much every literal second. Then I could stop getting jealous of that booby intern who won’t stop throwing herself at you. I tried not to be jealous by not caring, but I couldn’t lie to myself, because I do care and I always will, Harry. I’ll always miss you . . in bed next to me with your arms always waiting for me, your face at our table at Pedro’s on Tuesdays waiting there for me, every day after work waiting on my sofa until I’m ready to go home with you . . ,” I trail off in a sob, thoughts bubbling inside of my lips but they become too hard to speak. 

“‘m still waitin’, Becks, ‘ve never stopped since that day I first met you,” he says in a voice softer than marshmallows and sweeter than honey. “‘ll always be waitin’ fer you.” Since that first day I had met him, you never could’ve made me believe that looking into his face I’d see a mirror, but I believe it more today than I ever thought I could. Because I am, in the way the tears silently fall down his cheeks, the openness of his eyes that beg for me, and the way that mine beg for him too. 

“‘s it true ya put in yer two weeks?” Quickly, I shrink and I avoid, ignoring everything altogether, but if I’ve learned one thing through this all is that I can’t do that as badly as I wish I could. “‘m still yer boss, Becks, sumthin’ like that can’t get away from me. I saw tha letter on My’s desk one day and when he saw me readin’ it, he told me . . Becks, please don’t leave. Yer learnin’ so much and we all love you here. Yer doin’ so well, and there’s so much I want t’ teach you. Turner and Jones ‘s . . . ‘s not yer home, love, this ‘s yer home.” 

“I thought you were my home once and I was wrong,” I don’t know why I say it, but I do, and immediately I regret it. Without seeing him, I know that he wishes I hadn’t said it too, by the intake of air and the way he turns away from me. 

“Y’know, I think ‘ll get sick o’ fightin’ fer you, but I don’t. I get tired, but I don’t get sick o’ it. I never wanna stop. I wanna tell our kids one day that I never stopped fightin’ fer you, and sometimes I think it’ll happen. But, I dunno- When I saw you kiss that bloke, I stopped believin’ in it.” 

Gulping, my eyes find him immediately and the tears ricochet throughout my body from his words. The sounds of his crying prick at my ears, but I don’t see them fall down his face, just the way he plays with his lips. 

“Harry-.” 

“I love you and ‘m sorry. ‘ll never stop showin’ you that fer tha rest o’ me life, what more do I hafta do?” he begs, turning to face me. My heart squeezes inside of my chest at the mere sight, and my lips press themselves together. “But if ya- if ya tell me that . . yer happy with him, then ‘ll stop. I want yer happiness mo’ than mine,” he croaks, words stolen from him at times as mine are drowned in salt water. 

Whimpering, the sight of my hands wringing each other appears in front of me, and then his pained sigh meets my ears. Hiccups rack my chest and I stop hiding the crying, listening to it echo off of the walls that remain still around us. 

“His name’s Ben-.” 

“I know who he ‘s,” he says gingerly, but with disdain that tries to push me back, and make me stop. “‘ve argued cases against him . . both lost and won.” 

“I met him during my clinicals there, he-.” 

“I don’t wanna hear ‘bout him, Becks, I-I can’t,” Harry announces firmly, standing to his feet and beginning to walk in circles. 

“I ended things with him last week, not that there was much to end . . that same day you must have seen us kiss outside the courts . . after he shoved me to the floor that night. And he wasn’t you, nobody else could ever be you.”

“What?!” he nearly explodes, the words ringing loudly in my ears again and again as they resound off of the walls. “Oh, that bloke’s not gonna know what hit him when I get my fookin’ hands on him.” 

“Harry-.” 

“Tell me that you don’t want me t’ beat tha shit outta him, Becks,” Harry insists, but with my eyes not looking at him, I remain silent. “That’s what I thought . . Bloody minute this lift starts workin’ ‘gain, ‘m gonna make him regret ever touchin’ you.” 

Nodding, I brush the back of my hand against my nose and feel a sob overcome me. My shoulders fall and I pull my knees into my chest, soon feeling the tears soak through my slacks. 

“Aw, honeybug,” he sighs pitifully, and at last, one of my dreams comes true when I feel him surround me with his warmth. Him. “I had no idea you’ve been dealin’ with that, ‘m so fookin’ sorry, Becks. ‘m so sorry you’ve had so much shit t’ deal with, ya don’t deserve any o’ this. He’s a fookin’ sorry excuse fer a man fer doin’ that t’ you and trust me ‘m gonna make him sorry. He’s a right wanker, and he only ever won one case against me, anyways. Damn idiot, he ‘s.” 

Swallowing dryly, I meet his eyes and receive anything but that. The green is drowned in tears nearly, and I know that my blue is, too. 

“Reckon ‘m not much betta than him, afta all,” Harry confesses with a fight played in his eyes. 

“No, you’re nothing like him, Harry,” I coo, reaching out a hand to cradle his cheek, thumb swiping at tears. 

“Yer right, ‘m much worse than him fer how I treated you.” 

“What? Harry, no, you’re not. I know you’d never lay a hand on me,” I confess in a voice that cracks, breaths laden with unsaid words, and so many that I don’t know how to say. Nodding, his eyes leave mine and his arms prematurely do too, and I only feel worse. “Talk.” 

“What?” he whispers, quirking a brow at the floor. 

“Talk, Harry . . like you had wanted to . . to me,” I explain, my hand lingering on my knee, so close to his. Bravely, it finds the courage and reaches out towards him, finding the warmth soon after between his fingers. 

“‘ve rehearsed it so many bloody times in me head, but now, I actually get t’ talk t’ you and I can’t rememba,” he admits softly with shame painting his voice, and an out of place smile. “All I know . .  ‘s that I miss you and it scares me how much I can miss you sittin’ at a meetin’ with you across tha table. I miss you like you’ve gone . . but inna way, you have. I miss you in so many ways, walkin’ in tha door at home t’ you, findin’ you’d claimed me sofa again fer anotha day workin’ t’getha, or even that you’d be usin’ one o’ me favourite coffee mugs or jumpers. I miss those small things, and then, I even miss wakin’ up next t’ you, talkin’ t’ you ‘bout songs, ‘bout art, or gettin’ yer advice on a recipe or an argument inna case. ‘d missed you like mad befo’, but nuthin’ compares t’ this. Didn’t know I could miss somebody so much that ‘m always sore from it, that I ache when I see you and can’t touch you or talk t’ you. I lost it when I saw him kiss you, I went and vomited in tha car park befo’ goin’ home t’ cry in bed. Our bed. I wanted a drink and thought ‘bout it . . I even had one and I felt worse, knowin’ that it only made it mo’ likely ‘d never get ya back then. Thought seein’ that I.T. intern flirt with you in tha copier room hurt, but god, that was nuthin.’” 

“You try seeing that intern who dresses like a hooker be all over you,” I tut, refamiliarizing myself with the grooves and peaks on his rings. 

“Are ya quite finished?” he almost giggles and I nod with a fleeting smile. 

“It hurt not seein’ you reject him and then ‘course My’ had t’ guilt me ‘bout it, and -.” 

“Okay, that’s enough talking,” I announce inside of my head with a shake of it, my lips parting to utter the same declaration. But I’m interrupted almost immediately, and so is Harry by the whirring and movement of the lift starting up again. 

“Looks like tha power came back on or sumthin’,” he mumbles, standing to his feet as the lights flick back on. 

“Yeah, looks like,” I say under my breath, so many more ready to be spoken but they’re whisked away when the doors part on Seventeen and soon, we’re ambushed with concerned colleagues who mistake our tears for fear. Quickly, so much was forgotten, but what hurt was how easily we both did it too.

+

The notes of cinnamon and nutmeg cling to my tongue, accompanied by the sweetness of the last traces of whipped cream. With a sigh, I set down the mug and hear its emptiness fill my ears. I continue to dance my eyes across the page, soaking up the words that I try to drown myself in. The dinging of the bell atop the door interrupts the words echoing in my mind, as do the clap of footsteps entering the cafe amongst the soft Christmas music. Without fail, they attempt to weed their way into my heart, making me think that they’re his, but everything sounds like him and feels like him as of late. 

Pushing it away, I shake my head free of the nagging thoughts and start the sentence over. At the sound of a voice that steps into my mind, the words are forgotten, and no rereading them could ever bring them back to me. 

“Since when d’ya read ol’ granny romance books?” 

Tearing my eyes away from the imaginative words, I find the pair of green eyes that I’ve been avoiding and longing within all of the same breaths. 

“I see yer mug ‘s empty. Can I buy you anotha?” he murmurs with his charming smile that finds its old way back to me, and into my heart. Just like all of those times before. 

“I uh, was actually just leaving,” I mutter, the book already having closed when my hands left it in shock. Picking it up, I drape my purse over my shoulder and walk away from him. No matter if it doesn’t take the cake for how much it hurts to do so, the pain still stings in my mind and every inch of my limbs. 

“Becks, wait!” he calls after me, the clanging of the bell loud and obnoxious in my ears. The winter cold shocks my warmed skin when I step back into it. “I wanna talk t’ you ‘bout sumthin’, yer two week-.” 

“I don’t want to,” I retort, rounding a corner and searching for the familiar sight of my car parked on the street. I’m feeling cold rather than hot in finding it before his always gentle hands settle on my shoulders. He turns me around to face him, once again finding those piercing greens that root me to the spot. 

“I thought we could still be friends, Becks. Y-Yer me best friend, I can’t lose you as a friend too, bug. Please,” he pleas, but I’m spinning around before the last of his syllables grace my ears. 

My head shakes from side to side, willing my eyes to dry up and forget their recent best friend that drowns my sights in a haze. My lips sing with pain from my teeth sinking into them as my face collapses from the debilitating weight of misery. 

“I-I can’t. We can’t, you know that, Harry.” 

“Why not, Becks?” he begs, the cool feeling of his rings welcomed by my flushed skin. 

“I shouldn’t have to tell you when you know why,” I spit back, sure that three seconds ago he had already heard the tears in my voice. The multitudes of words shared between our lips over the last ten months has only led me to open myself to him further, and I still can’t figure out how to close my book from him reading. 

“I dunno what yer talkin’ ‘bout, Becks.” 

“It only took you a month, Harry?!” I exclaim, unsure of whether I’m making a statement or posing a question. 

“Care t’ clue me in what yer talkin’ ‘bout, ‘cuz I still dunno?” he replies with an exasperated sigh. I rip my wrist from his gentle grasp, the sooner the better because I knew another second longer and I’d let it live there. If I stand here another second longer, I may let myself float back to him. 

“You’re already over me and with somebody new after only a month, huh?” I respond curtly, turning around slowly to face him as the first hot tear cascades down my cheek. 

“Becks,” he sighs, the emotion carried in his voice spreading across his unshaven face. A whimper escapes my lips as the sob trembles throughout my chest, my lips returning to their permanent frown. My heart shudders at his expression and the confirmation I hear in it, making my head shake quickly from side to side. “I still dunno what yer talkin’ ‘bout, love. ‘m not datin’ anyone, y’know tha only person I wanna be with ‘s you. N’body else in tha entire world I wanna date and love fer tha rest o’ me life . . Where ‘s this comin’ from, bug?” 

“Wait, what?” I exhale, blinking away the tears that I’m afraid to believe hold lies and forgotten fears. 

“‘m not with anybody new, Becks. I dunno what people are sayin’, but ‘m not. You know tha only person I wanna be with ‘s you,” he repeats with emphasis, stepping forward and pulling my hands into his. “What’s goin’ on, bug?” 

“I don’t know,” I exhale shakily, leaning into his hand that cups my cheek, wiping away the wetness coating my skin. “People at the firm were saying they overheard you talking about some girl you were gonna ask out and were trying to win over.” 

“Oh that,” he snickers, the dimples hinting at his cheeks when I dare a look. No matter how hard I’d ever try, the high pitched song that flows from his lips could never stop being my favorite, and my ears welcome it with a familiar warmth. “That was ‘bout you, bug. I was bouncin’ ideas off o’ sumbody ‘bout takin’ you onn’a date. Well, it was actually havin’ you ova t’ mine fer dinna and watchin’ FRIENDS, jus’ like tha old times. Reckon Rore misheard and his big mouth spewed it t’ ev’rybody. That fookin’ git, I swear t’ God, he’s a bloody bastard sumtimes.” 

“Yeah, it was him, now that I think of it,” I admit quietly, peering down at our joined hands and our mingling rings, just like all of the times before. 

“‘m gonna fookin’ knock him out one o’ these times, I swear t’ it. He’s been such an arse lately, and he thinks I didn’t see it, but I did see him flirtin’ with you tha otha day.” 

“It’s fine, Harry.” 

“No, ‘s not, Becks. You put yer bloody two weeks in, and yer last day ‘s t’morro’,” Harry sighs heavily, bringing my eyes back to his at last, and ever so briefly. The purple gemstone ring that I bought him as a late Valentine’s present grows blurry before my eyes, and only worsens when I see that he never took it off. My wrist feels all the more bare without the multicolored purple gemstone bracelet he gifted me after my accident, and that’s sat on my nightstand at Skye’s for weeks now. 

I’m issing that coffee right about now with the state of my throat. Perhaps it would push down all of the words that I have been aching to say for days and weeks now. 

“Please stay, bug. Not even jus’ fo’ me, but I don’t wantcha t’ lose a good job. Yer doin’ so well and e’rybody at tha firm loves you, babe . . ‘specially me. I know I fooked up real bad, but I promise it won’t happen again if ya gimme another chance-,” Harry begins in a plea, the same emotions that bubble inside of me echo within his voice. When I steal a glance at his olive green eyes, I find them swimming in tears, and that’s what pushes me to surround his lips with mine. 

His buttery soft curls feel like home between my fingers, and my rickety heart begins to slow at the smell of his sweet-peppery scent. Neither of those compare to the feeling of his lips upon mine for the first time in weeks, and the passion carried behind both of ours. Unspoken words, profuse apologies, and hundreds of ‘I miss you’s are left on the other’s lips. His nose leaves slippery marks against my cheek slick with tears, and I can taste them on his skin as well. 

Air trickles back into my burning lungs when I gasp for air below him, stealing whispery kisses from his sweet lips now and then. 

“Was that a random kiss or a ‘get back togetha’ kiss?” he rasps against my lips, finalizing his words with one last peck to my mouth. 

“A ‘get back together’ k-kiss,” I stutter with a soft titter, feeling it fill me with warmth at the sight of his dimples returning to his cheeks from their few week absence. “I missed you . . even r-right now,” I sob, the breath leaving my lungs when my chest collides with his after I dive into his arms. A surprised noise sputters from his mouth but his arms coming around me is instantaneous, and so is the comfort I feel in them. 

“Missed you mo’, bug,” he whispers into my hair, laying kisses on every inch of my head that he can find while I laugh at our inside joke. “Fook, ‘m so sorry fer how I treated ya and fer gettin’ drunk all o’ tha time ‘cuz o’ that stupid case. I meant what I said when I came back from me trip - I haven’t had a drop since that night we broke up, and I won’t fer as long as you want me t’. ‘ll do anythin’ ya want, we’ll do therapy or counselin’- jus’ want us t’ be okay, and fer you t’ let me love you ‘gain. There’s n’body else in this entire world that I wanna be spend me life with, or have babies with one day.” 

“Harry,” I chuckle against his neck, my forever favourite hiding place, whether happy or sad. “We’ve been back together for two seconds, chill on the baby talk.” 

“No, I mean it. I want ya t’ have me babies one day, nuthin’ eva changed ‘bout that, and nuthin’ eva will. Think I love ya mo’ now, Becks, so much mo’,” Harry sighs, and with his confession I can feel his body relax against mine. It’s quite contagious, really. 

“I reckon I still want you to be the father of mine . . teach them how to play footie, how to play guitar, and how to play a shit game of Scrabble.” 

“Hey now!” Harry exclaims, the words rumbling through his chest with his deep chuckle. When I pull away from him to peer into his glassy, green eyes, his lips quiet. The laugh disappears from them, but shouts of happiness and relief fill my eyes, and I think mine feel rather similar to his. “Bloody hell, if they’re as stubborn as you, we’re in fer some trouble.” 

“Like you’re any better,” I giggle, but it’s stolen away by his lips, and I couldn’t be more thankful. 

“This mean you’ll be me mentee ‘gain, and forget ‘bout that crazy talk o’ quittin’ tha firm?” he poses to me, dragging a few fingers through my hair, sending jolts of comfort through my limbs. “Please, Becks?” 

“Of course, Harry. There’s no other lawyer I’d want to learn from- don’t tell Rose that, because she’s been amazing, but she’s just not you. She’s not my favourite teacher or my best friend . . and I’ve really missed them,” I reveal softly, and sadly, the tears adorning my words. The both of them fall onto the pad of his thumb that nudges at my bottom lip affectionately. 

“‘ve missed me favourite lawyer as well, Becks. God, so fookin’ much. I can’t lose me best friend, not again,” he whimpers, the last word breaking under the weight of his tears that match mine. 

“And please, for the love of God, get rid of that intern before I do,” I groan, and a snicker springs from his angelic lips. “Because if I see her flirt with you one more fucking time, I will puke . . on her.” 

“Don’t worry, ‘ve been lookin’ fer a good reason t’ get rid o’ her, so this ‘s perfect, bug,” he coos happily, pulling me back into his arms where I’ve been craving to return for oh, so very long. “Hope y’know I still want ‘bout five kids.” 

“Shut up, Harry,” I titter, my arms tightening around his middle as I find the sweet spot in the crook of his neck. 

“Five babies, Becks, and all with you, honeybug. Li’l girls that look like you and li’l boys that look like me, all with yer gorgeous blue eyes. They’ll have tha best mum eva, they will,” my happy hum accompanies his, almost accentuates it as I toy with the cross sat at the junction of his throat and his shoulders. “Can’t say sorry enough, ‘m afraid, so ‘ll spend tha rest o’ me life sayin’ it t’ you. Promise you that.” 

“I’ll hold you to it,” I almost joke, and when I hear his songlike laugh, I at last let out the breath that I had been holding for far too long. 

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #one direction fanfiction #harry styles wattpad #ceo!harry #boss!harry #asshole!harry #dark!harry #lawyer!harry #becks x harry #hecky #the assistant h.s. #pa harry #the firsts series #writing #fanfiction #wattpad #my writing #becks holte #seventeen angst #young adult #fiction

[keyenuta]

TW Prologue: So enters the Wizard part 3

   AN// If y’all want to check out the earlier parts here ya go!  But with that out of the way lets start the chapter~ pt1, pt2

                                                            ~~~

       Even after the battle ended moments ago, the feelings of both party's magic still crackled in the air. The warm fury of Grim's flames and the erratic crackling of Zoroaster's magic still seemed to battle like echoes. Rarely ceasing even as Crowley began to speak, he welcomed the new students in and congratulated Zoro on his win. His yellow glowing eyes curving into crescents as he gave a welcoming smile to all 6 of the students of NRC. Now, finally turning to his oh so trusted prefect, Crowley said,

"Oh Prefect, could you be so gracious and guide the dorm to their new home, I will join soon but I have, some, ahem, very busy-busy work I must complete, I'm sure you you understand." 

     As Yuu went to speak, each time a sound left their mouth, they saw Crowley leaving faster and faster. Either mistakenly or on purpose, the headmaster didn't hear the prefect's voice as he slithered away. Leaving Yuu to do his work once more. Relenting in a massive sigh, Yuu pinched the bridge of their nose

     Already tired and annoyed,the prefect gazed up at their dorm mates and gave a strained smile. Even though the headmaster was, shady to say the least, at least they now had more members besides Grim in ramshackle. Speaking of which, Grim now found himself once again in the accursed death grip that was, Theodore's bombardment of pets and hugs.

"Ffnnrrgh! Lemme go, I'm not some pet you know?!!" Grim hissed at the boy, digging his paws desperately into the black fabric. Frantically grasping at the green boy's cloak, trying to wiggle and nudge out the assault of love, but sadly the magician found no escape in sight. "Rragh! Tall minion, save me!" The monster called, only to be left purring seconds after.

Speaking of his "minion," Zoroaster's face cranked into a playful grin at the sight in front of him. Leaning on his cane, and resting his head in his hands the dorm leader chuckled and gave an answer.

" awwwe, why'd i do that?" He cooed before straighting up, as soon a trinkle sparkled in his gold eyes as he snapped his left hand to the air, clawing to the sky as with each inflection his voice grew in size and power. As every title he bestowed upon Grim became more explosive than the last "

     The great, magnificent and powerful! raccoon," he evened out, "looks like he's enjoyin' himself alot" shrugging, he strolled a bit forward and gave the monster a mock bow, "now, who's lil' ole me to disturb that" he snickered.

"Raccoon?! I am not-prrr, a raccoon!"

"Oh my mistake, the great kitten~"he teased

"I'm not a cat mmm-neither! Uggh, Yuu, do something!" He begged

     Giggling lightly, the perfect said "if you're both enjoying yourselves so much I can't bring myself to stop it. Sorry grim, have fun you two, be sure not to go too crazy okay?" Pausing for a moment with elation in his brown eyes, Theodore quickly gave the two a quick salute before smiling brightly.

"Aye aye prefect! Which to this, Zoro gave a two finger salute, and Yuu simply nodded before they continued with a clap of their hands.

"I guess a greeting's in order, hello everyone, my name is Yuu Nezumi, you can call me whatever you want to. Like Headmaster Crowley said, I'm the perfect. You can ask me anything pretty much, Heheh" 

     they said bashfully, they're used to being small but still. Being surrounded by so many people taller than them is still unnerving at times. They're so thankful for riddle, at least he's close to their height a bit.

"Ahem, just everyone follow me alright? I'll show you all to the dorm soon!" They brightly said, turning on their heels to lead the group. Only receiving a few few okays, sures, aye-ayes and one grunt from Dorothy as they began to walk off.

     Watching the group for a time, Zoro kicked the tip of the cane and swung it on his shoulder. The movements almost second nature to him at this point. But before he could follow the group out, he soon heard an increasing rush of foot steps thunder towards him. Turning to his right, he saw a boy with golden locks and purplish highlights sway his hips in a march, stamping towards him like he did a national crime. With a slight frown on his model face, the boy simply yelled,

"Ozma! A word would you please?" Despite the question, it sounded more like a demand by his stiff tone. Eyes drifting to the group again, he shrugged and turned to face the approaching boy.

"Mmm, sure what's up pretty boy" he said casually, wonder what he needs me for the boy thought, but whatever else was tumbling through his mind, nothing prepared him for what he heard next.

"Take off, your belt!" The boy demanded pointedly

"Eh?" The Wizard asked, gold eyes widening in honest disbelief, looking to the other dorm heads, he saw the red head from befire face palm, the silver haired boy still looked as carefree as ever, and the glasses wearing boy simply hummed in amusement. "Wha- no, the heck you mean take off my belt?" The wizard chuckled, only to see on the pretty boy's face, a stone serious look, like his purple eyes are trying to bore a holes through him second after second.

"As an upperclassmen, and especially as head of dorm Pomfiore, I must advise you on wearing our schools robes properly!" He grasped Zoroaster's top robe and tried to force it together "they are our School's most formal attire, and must be respected, do you understand me? As dorm leader you are the representation of every member of your dorm" He nagged, only to find his manicured hands swatted away whilst the wizard's off hand returned to his waist.

"Alright karen, first thing, nah, I'm not fixing anything. Second of all, they're just clothes." He shrugged, clothes were just clothes to him, and he'd wear them how he decided. "Besides, who're you to be orderin' me around?" Vil's pristine eyebrows cocked up at taller boy, how rude of him, thought the model

But before the argument could continue, a voice interrupted the model before he could speak, as soon the clicks of the shorter boy approached the two dorm leaders.

"Vil, while I agree with what you've said completely, I would also like to advise Zoroaster as well" Riddle said to Vil sighing in response, walking off with Rook in tow.

"Oh it's the short one" Zoro spoke bluntly, but soon a surge of anger filled the room, as playful gold eyes met anger filled silver.

"Did, did you just call me...short?!" Riddle spat, his face instantly contorting from stern to rage-filled in seconds as his brows furrowed, glaring at the smirking boy before him Riddle slowly took in deep breaths as he tried to calm himself once more. "Huff, if it were any other day I would have your head, count yourself lucky, Ozma" he said smugly

"Oh i'd like to see ya try, though wouldn't ya just get my chest, shrimpy~" he teased, gazing as the red began to fill the second year once again.

"Grrr, My my, eager to be shown your place I see~? Well I would be happy to oblige, but for now, listen to this, as dorm leader of Heartslaybul, I'll give you this advice, as a dorm head. It is your responsibility to look after those under you. If someone shall fail it is on you, lead them as best you can!" As Zoro saw riddle's expression, for a moment he saw the stern face of the boy become lost in thought, but soon the stern walls were back up as he and the rest of his dorm made their leave.

Though as they began to walk off, a boy with curly silver locks and murky violet eyes walked up to the dorm leader as well. With a thin smile crossing his face, Azul gifted Zoro a pleasant smile, but that expression never reached his eyes as he clapped for the boy before him

"That was a fantastic show Zoroaster, it nearly brought a tear to my face I must say. It is certainly wonderful to have a..." The more Azul spoke the more muffled his voice became to Zoroaster. Every word that left Azul's mouth was coated with honey and that made Zoro's mind swim with memories. As two voices whispered in his thoughts, a faceless pair of people hovered in his mind. Memories were flooding second after second as the dorm leader spoke, being drowned out by the voices in Zoro's mind.

     A manipulative brassy voice rumbled in his ears, his father's words slithered in his mind the longer the exchange went on. "Step one, make someone comfortable, show 'em a charming face or personality, sweeten every word before going forward" Check Zoro thought, as after a while of talking Azul began to finish what he was saying.

"But just so you know, if you ever need any help feel free to visit the Monstro lounge at any time. I'm certain we can come to some sort of deal. Heheh, especially for such a treasured underclassmen such as yourself~" he sang, but as he went to continue, a tsk and three simple words broke his concentration.

"shut up bitch!" At this Azul's eyes widened as he tried to make sure he heard Zoroaster correctly.

"E-Excuse me? I'm sorry what did I ever do to upset you?" Azul prodded. Scratching the back of his head, Zoro lazily kicked the ground beside him as he sighed and looked dead into Azul's glasses covered eyes.

"Huff, I'm guessin' as soon as you make a deal, you bleed 'em dry and leave them with nothin' huh?" Every word and accusation that left Zoro described with venom as once more memories flooded in his head, images of begging and destitute people snapped in his head before he asked the second again, "How's my guess Azul, accurate?" Cocking his head to the side, he eased forward towards Azul, nearly getting eye to eye with the robed dorm leader, like he was daring the octopus to prove him wrong.

"Oh, it saddens me that you think so dear Ozma. Why, I don't know what you could be talking about, I own a very respectable business, I simply give aid to our fellow students, to help such unfortunate souls as best I can. I assure you, there's nothing to fear" Azul said, feigning being insulted by Zoroaster's guess as a genuine smirk soon began to cross upon Azul's face. Soon followed up by an obviously fake smile of Zoroaster's in return.

"Oh~ but of course my mistake, you're quite the philanthropist indeed~" Zoro mockingly copied azul's cadence and voice as he spoke, exaggerating every inch of falseness with every syllable. "But, I must say, you've inspired me, Azul"

"Oh ho? Well I'm happy to be of assistance Zoroaster"

"Mmm, as am I, for the longest I was wondering if I should reopen my shop, but seeing you has made my decision clear in reopening it. Honestly, I wouldn't mind offering you a break once in a while, I'm sure you must be tired being so, so kind" now standing before each other, both smirked a fake grin, teasing and challenging the other in a cordial manner.

"My goodness, that is certainly quite the decision, I wish you the best in that endeavor Mr.Ozma~"

"And as to you, Dorm leader~" after bidding the three adieu, Zoroaster began to walk off, not just because of his mood, but also because the longer he stayed, the farther the group was getting. But right before he left completely, the new dorm head paused for a moment, before turning to the last remaining dorm and vice dorm leaders before saying this.

"oh, almost forgot!" 

     He chirped, turning his head back around a wicked fast weight pf magic filled the room, crackling erratically has Zoro's eyes once more blazed green. "If any, of my dorm members are hurt because of y'all. I'll pay you back two times what you did. I promise that" He threatened, but just as soon as that pressure arrived, it left in a snap as just like that, Zoroaster became easy going once more.

"Buuut yeah i should head out, dont wanna be lost now do I?" He hummed, chasing after the prefect.

Ramshackle Dorm~

"And this, is the dorm, home sweet home...heheh" behind Yuu was a leaning, nailed window having, wood chipoing and web wrapped dorm, as to add insult to injury, a plank of wood fell in a dusty heap. A knowing sensation weighed on Yuu's shoulders when they turned to their dorm mates. Walking farther a creak followed Yuu as a rainbow of expressions shone from the foyer. Utter terror(Regis), belly aching laughter(Zoro), oohing curiosity(Theodore), blinks of confusion(Solon), and a look of anger and neutrality from Dorothy and Fiyero respectively. "The headmaster said it had, character" they deadpanned

"Pfft, this-this is way too much character heheheh, but that definitely explain a lot" lumbering over, Dorothy pushed passed his cackling dorm head , as the floor cried with every stomp he took eeeer, eeer. Like it was threatening to just drop him then and there.

"You mean to tell me, we fixin' to lay here for the night?!" Dorothy barked, his eyes folding into a scowl as his fists balled at the prefect. Knuckles on his waist, and red eyes boring into Yuu's, the brunette snarled at the prefect. But by this point, Yuu was beyond tired, and paid the country boy no mind. Instead, they gave a high pitched laugh, and a thin grin, stepping up to taller boy groaning,

"Haha, if you want to sleep outside be my guest" they motioned before plopping down on the couch, kicking up dust. But that wasn't all, as in a flash three milky white forms erupted from the seats. Soaring and whirling around the students like a hurricane of laughs and jeers.

"G-g-g-g GHOSTS!!! Oh-oh no, let me go, please don't possess me!" Regis stuttered racing for the door, his sandled feet only getting so far to just get yanked back a second later by the top hat ghosts teasing him all the while.

"Awww stay a whi- yeep!" As Ghost A pulled the cat, he had to dart away dropping him in like a sack. As a bolt of lightning near blasted him away as from the group, he saw a dark skinned boy with crackling green eyes smiling wildly in the chaos, aiming a black cane to the sky with a toothy grin.

"What in the sam hill, boy get yo' self up ya lion, shoot ya claws out or something, it's ghost punchin' time" Dorothy called yanking up Regis, who only clung back to his tree trunk of a leg. Though since both are brick houses, it was more a wrecking ball wrapping around a bucking tree. "motgetdjb, let go 'o me ya varment!"

"Ooh! Ghosts are so cool, maybe they're friendly!" Chirped Theodore "Heya big guy! Hows it going!" Theodore waved happily at Ghost B

"Gah! Ghost, save me~" grim cried, still even now trapped inside Theo's arms.

"Hohoho, nice to meet ya too kiddo!" Chortled ghost b, as in the case of Solon, he only gazed around in bewilderment, raking his silver arm through his ginger hair. And as for Fiyero, well the scarecrow only shrugged and said,

"Welp, guess I'll die" as he watched the ghosts fly, but soon enough a shrill whistle tore through air, as Yuu stood,

"Hey! Everyone calm down, those guys are friendly, and for you three, those are our new dorm mates. Huff" they sighed. This is way too long a day thought Yuu. But after that break, all the ghosts could do now, was just hug the new arrivals. Laughing and (if they could) crying as they glomped the new residents. As of they didn't just haunt them all a second earlier.

Ghost A: sniff, hahaha, told you two these were special!

Ghost B: hoho, I'm so glad to see this, after all this time, if i still had it, my heart would've skipped a beat

Ghost C: nyheheh, who's dorm leader now? Laughing in confusion from the switch, and gazing at the group around him, Zoro wiggled his cane free and raised it to the air, waving it saying,

"Sup, it's me!" Zoro grunted, a ciruois chirp left the thin Ghost's mouth as he descended to the gold eyed boy. Inspecting and floating all around him from every angle. "Uhhh, everything alright here?" Zoro didnt know what to think honestly, this was the weirdest introduction of his life, but dang was it fun so far.

Ghost C: hmmm, so far, so far, tell me new Dorm leader! How, tall are you?

The ghost's nasally voice became straight and serious, pausing snd adding weight to every word as ge got closer to the brown boy. His sunken eyes staring deep into Zoro's blinking ones.

"Uhhh, 6'2"??" He shrugged

Ghost C: you are, perfect! Nyeheheh, you remind me of my past self!

Ghost B: hohoho, but you were never dorm leader

Ghost C: Shush, I was in the running, I'm certain next year i would have been in charge! No doubt about it!

     Resting his white fists proudly on his...waist, Ghost C puffed out his chest as through a smirk, Zoro said, 

 "heh, it's nice to meet y'all too, but can ya guys back up? I think Regi's 'bout to feint" and true to his guess, the dread having lion was a pale brown and was leaning-or rather falling on Dorothy, who was currently trying(and failing) to punch a ghost and keep the Lion upright at the same time. 

     But thankfully the three ghosts let up and finally the group eased back down, some sitting on the ground and in Theo's case, bouncing on his feet to meet the ghosts as quick as possible, talking among st the Ghosts as Grim once lire tried to gain freedom, but once more met his dreaded enemy, head pats. Though really after a quick meet and greet, Yuu gave them all a tour of the dorm. Or rather what needs to be fixed. As winding through the halls, multiple cobwebs, fallen parts, and scattered clothes, dust and more stretched as far as the eye could see. Scratching the back of his head, Zoro talked as they went down the crotchety steps.

"All that character huh, ain't the headmaster help at all?" He asked, only to get a dry laugh from Yuu,

"If by help you mean nothing, yeah, he helps a whole lot." They droned, drooping down. Zoro patted the prefect on the back as Grim gnarled angrily

"Nrggh, that cheapskate still owes me my tuna to this day!" raising an eyebrow Zoro looked to Yuu who only shook their head,

"Long story, I'll tell it later"

"Got ya, alrighty" coming to a pause in the living room, Zoro twirled his cane while talking in pace "since we got a lotta stuff to clean, and sadly fix, let's at least get everyone somewhere to sleep. Unless y'all wanna share a couch that is" he smirked, looking at the group, he saw a shakey hand raise up, pointing the handle of his cane at Regis, he said "Oh what's up Regi? And just so ya know, you can just go out with it man, ain't gotta raise your hand" leaning on the cane, he listened to the stuttering lion.

"i-im fine sleeping on the couch." He nodded "w-what if there's a poisonous spider in my room or-or" cutting him off Dorothy said

"can it, there ain't gon' be nothin' there ya varment!" He huffed

"u-um right away-you'll never hear a peep out of me again, i-im ready to clean Zoroa- I mean dorm leader sir!" He saluted

"Good! Cause Dorothy's on cleaning duty first!" He smiled cheekily, to which the boy in question looked at him like what in the heck did you just say?!

"tsk, the heck I am?! Who the heck you think you are?!"

"I'm a guy who don't wanna share a couch with 5 people, but here's a deal, how ' bout I help ya clean, that'll make you stop complaining?"

"Feh, fine fine ya skunk lookin' silo" he grumbled to a still smirking Zoro who have him a thumbs up, saying

"Wonderful, well no time like the present, come on~ let's go~" he sang, guiding Dorothy upstairs, "For now, I leave down stairs to Yuu, good luck everyone!" He called.

Minutes later~

With cleaning in full swing, from both the living and dead members of the dorm, soon enough there was knock at the door. Dust cresting their brow, and sweat soaking their robes, Yuu with a now finally freed Grim on their shoulder, walked over to see who it was. Turning the faded knob, there now stood Crowley walking in the foyer.

"Ahh, greetings prefect, I hope the students have adjusted well to...their character filled home"

"Yeah, at the moment we're cleaning out rooms for everyone." a light chuckle left Crowley, while his glowing eyes peered at the dorm at work. Regis was shakingly dusting spider webs, Theodore spawned all sorts of little creatures, helping him clean the rooms in the back, and up stairs the low echoes of Zoroaster and Dorothy bounced back and forth as they moved bits and pieces of debris with Solon in tow.

"My my, this does bring a tear to my eyes, I never thought I'd ever see this dorm return. What a fortunate day indeed Heheh, ah but prefect, I must say, you are so gracious for offering your aid to this dorm~"

"Hm? What do you mean? We live here too, it's the least we could do" but turning to the old crow, they saw his face going serious.

"Ah, that is why i am here, I'm terribly sorry Prefect, but you and Grim cannot stay. "

"Wait what?!" They asked incredulously

"Hey! What the heck are you talking about!" Yelled grim, but as the prefect looked at Crowley's masked face, their stomach turnt and spiked like it fell down a brakeless elevator.

"With this dorm once more being active, I am sorry but i cannot allow you to stay here. Oh, but do not worry, for I am gracious I've found a lovely spot in the gardens for you both" cooed Crowley, soon enough a pair of feet thumped against the creaking floor as Zoroaster, covered in soot and dust walked over to the foyer as well.

"Oh, Heya headmaster, what's happenin?" He asked, as his gold eyes trailed over Grim and Yuu, studying their faces as Crowley repeated what he just said. Zoroaster's eyes narrowed as his gloves fingers dug into the palm of his hand. Through gritted teeth, then wizard said "That's bull shit!" In a roar, causing everyone else to pause, trying to see what the commotion was about.

"Now mr.Ozma, while your concern is admirable, I cannot have the prefect stay in an active dorm, they're not apart of any dorm after all" and as this discussion went on, so too did the rest of the dorm begin to crowd, and right after hearing a quick explanation of what's happening, a mix of reactions sparked. First Theodore snatched Grim and held him close to his chest. Saying,

"If you throw out Grim you'll have to pry him from my cold green hands!" And as for Dorothy, he was in the opposite camp, he did care two ways about it, he went back off to clean. Fiyero was a little better, but not by much, as the scarecrow merely said,

"Awww, that's a shame" he groaned, though even during that, it was like he could feel for a brief moment, the headmaster eyes following him closely, but when he went to look, they were elsewhere. Geez, those crows got me paranoid he thought, and for Solon, he stepped close with his clunking parts and said,

"Well headmaster, there has to be Some way they can stay after all." But to this the tin man received a solemn shake of the head from Crowley. And as for what Regis felt about this, whatever he wanted to say was choked up by his fear. But just as Crowley was about to make his leave, about to lead grim and Yuu away, Zoroaster grew a devilish smile and in a song song voice said,

"Oh~ just like that headmaster? It's a shame really, I mean, just think of the headlines to come." Ahem clearing his throat, Zoroaster mockingly spoke like a news anchor, straight, and falsely shocked at the headline "NRC headmaster cannot find a place for his staff to sleep, such a tragedy~" he wailed, but walking up to the old crow, Zoro smirked and shrugged his shoulders, as his voice got long and sly,

"though ya knooow, there seems to be plenty of room here, wouldn't be a problem at all to have em stay. Especially since most of us ain't got a problem with it. But sadly, it's such a tragedy you have to throw them out, but eh, i'm sure the news would love to have a field day with this~" resting a hand on his chin, Crowley began to envision the paparazzi, all the questions and the loss of revenue, frantically shaking his head, returned back to the dorm leader and gave a coy smile.

"Oh hohoho, Mr.Ozma there's no need to take this to the news I assure you. What is your proposition, I swear I shall hear it out, for I am gracious" at that last word, Zoroaster's eye twitched as in his mind he thought, I'm gonna start counting everytime he says that. But back to reality he held up two fingers,

"Its a simple bet, nothin' to worry about. Here's what I got, if I win, ya have to allow Yuu and Grim to be part of the dorm no questions asked, they're full members." For a moment, Zoro paused as he thought of an idea, bringing back his smirk once more "Oh, and one more thing, ya gotta refer to me by my full name for a month, middle ones included." And when he finished, a voice from the back yelled,

"Make him give me ten cans of tuna too!" Chimed grim

"Heheh, that too" Zoro chuckled, but now was time for Crowley to interject,

"And what if I win?"

"Simple really, all of us don't let this bad press out, in fact we'll do the opposite, we'll give you glowing reviews and recommendations, and you can still go with your original plan. So how 'bout it teach, whether or not you win or lose, it's a win-win. "

"Hmmm, hmmm, very well, let us begin the bet, though what will we be playing Ozma?" And with a chuckle from his throat, the dorm leader sifted through a pile of belongings and pulled out a deck of multi-colored cards.

"Uno, a cards game"

"I see, let us begin!" Yelled the crow, as for minutes the game went on, plus 2s, skips, reversals, and yes, the dreaded plus 4 rained everywhere. But as the two reached their last hand of cards, Crowley held one, and Zoroaster held 4, but when yuu and Grimm saw behind the dorm leader, they honestly felt a bit sorry for the headmaster. As in the boy's hand was a row of hell and destruction, 4 plus 4s in a row!

"Heheheh, it was a pleasure doing this deal with ya teach, but I gotta say one thing, Uno!" Thump right atop the webbed coffee table Zoro slammed down his hand, as you saw the color drain from the headmaster's face. As a cry of elation from Theodore filled the room as he bear hugged grim, followed by a pair of more and more subdued cheers, but it was on this day, the new ramshackle dorm was truly formed, over a game of Uno.

Everyone in Dorm uniforms-

Zoroaster(Dorm leader)

Yuu Nezumi(1/2 Vice Dorm Leader)

Dorothy Squal

Theodore Elphaba

Fiyero Corbin

Solon Argento

Regis Anakh

(The reason why some wear kilts and others wear cloaks will be explored in a short story coming soon)

#twisted wonderland ramshackle oc #twisted wonderland yuu #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland ramshackle #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland crowley #twst fanfic #twst mc #twst oc #twst #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #chapter 3 #this might be my longest one yet #hope yall enjoy it #zoroaster ozma #zoroaster #solon #fiyero #scarecrow #theodore elphaba #dorothy #regis

[gvnchvcks]

A few days or maybe a week into being hired is when Fiona finds out most of the crew live in the penthouse with Geoff, at which point she immediately demands a sleepover. Nails will be painted, hair will be braided, boys will be talked about, nobody is safe

YES, SO MUCH YES, I LOVE THIS OKAY SO-

Fiona gets this idea because she wants to know more about the crew as a whole and she wants to hang with her newfound family, and what better way to get to know someone than when it's 4 am and you're all tired as hell telling secrets or something?? So she calls Geoff up and is like, "Hey dad can I have a sleepover?" (Yes she actually says that, you cant convince me otherwise) and Geoff is like ?? What? And so she explains her plan to him and he's automatically on board. They have no jobs coming up for at least a month, why not let loose? So she makes a huge group chat for the entire crew to let them know, and also she's like, wait why dont you guys have a group chat already wth

So now everyone is ready and hyped!! She shows up at the penthouse super early that morning to help Jack and Ryan prepare for having 11 people in it for one whole night. (We all know Gav isn't finna help, Geoff is asleep, and Michael and Jeremy are helping as well, but mostly with cleaning up a bit and finding entertainment) By 2 in the afternoon, things look great!! The furniture in the living room has been moved around a bit so there's enough room in the middle, where a bunch of pillows and blankets are likely gonna be placed. There's a Switch and an X-Box by the tv, ready to be played. Board and card games like Twister, Uno, and Monopoly are set to the side, ready to cause trouble. Snacks are spread throughout the room, unopened sodas, beer, candy, and chip bags. It all looks great, and Fiona is so excited!! The first one to arrive is Matt, Switch and two boxes of donuts in hand. Then, the Twins, Trevor and Alfredo. Wearing matching adult sized onesies they picked up along the way! And finally, Lindsay. She's a bit latez but nobody questions it because it's well. It's Lindsay.

Everyone is finally here!! The livingroom and kitchen are full of people chatting and playing games. (Lets say they're playing Animal Crossing bc I'm obsessed lol) and Geoff is even out of bed now too. Everyone went all out on this, and Fiona couldn't be happier. All wearing pajamas and sitting on the floor or laying on the couches and chairs, like the children they all are on the inside. Eating candy, even making a bit of a mess, but they'll just clean it up later. It's around 10 pm when Lindsay calls for everyone's attention from her spot on the floor.

"So, as you all know, I was a bit late today. BUT do you know why that is?"

A few wrong answers later, she digs into a backpack she brought with her and out comes a slew of makeup, brand new, and a ton of face paint and nail polish. Fiona squeals and is like, "You actually brought it, yesss! Who's our first victim?"

Michael and Geoff immediately nope out of there and head to the kitchen, but everyone else seems game. Especially Gavin and Alfredo, who practically jump in front of the two girls, tripping over people along the way. Gavin occasionally wears a bit of makeup or nail polish here or there, so he wants his face painted! His mistake? Asking Lindsay to do it. 30 minutes later, she's done with her masterpiece. Gavin looks in the mirror, expecting to see a mess, but he actually doesn't hate it? A gold drips painted from his forehead that go over his left eye, and a small gold heart under his right eye. He actually looks really cool! Then, he turns around to show the others, and they laugh?? Why are they laughing? He looks pristine! He looks again. Oh. That's not a heart. It's a dick. He let's out one of his signature loud squawks of shock and disappointment, with a "Lindsayyy!!" Thrown in for good measure, and jumps over the others to run to the kitchen sink.

During all of this though, Fiona and Alfredo arent laughing. Fiona is laser focused on making Fredo the hottest person in the room. And she does. She stares at her work, nearly an hour after she started, and is proud. Alfredo is loving it too, making kissy faces at the other crew members, posing and showing off his red nails while Jack takes pictures of him using a Polaroid she bought just for this occasion.

Anyways, that's all done. Nobody else wants to get their faces done, in fear they'll end up like poor ol Gav, so they move on (tho Fredo and Gav do keep their looks, Gav is just missing the "heart") Things calm down again for a bit, and everyone is telling stories. Fiona is in the middle of talking about what her life in France was like before moving to Los Santos, when she realizes she's been subconsciously braiding Matt's hair while he sits in front of her on the floor. She stops and is joking like, "aw dude wtf I've been touching Matt's hair" and then Matt is like, "Yeah but this is actually not a bad look if I'm being honest" and the others agree with him! Michael says it makes him look a bit less like an animal (I swear I love Matt lmao but you know they'd bully him during this, nobody is safe) and then Trevor is like, "you should do Ryan's next!! He has long hair too!!"

Ryan is against it at first but eventually is forced to take Matt's spot on the floor, and by the time Fiona's story is done, so is Ryan's new look, and lemme tell ya. That boy can ROCK a braid. Everyone is like, "Daaaamn, Ry, look at you GO" and "Of course he looks better than Matt, the dude was a model" and this actually makes Ryan kinda happy!! He likes his friends giving him validation, sorry I don't make the rules.

The night continues as normal. More stories are told, and they slowly start to get deeper as it gets later. Stories of their past lives, their first kills and first crimes, and romance too. They talk about their worst and best past relationships, what they're looking for in a partner, things like that.

(This is about to get a bit shippy, so I'm sorry if you dislike any of these ships, they're just the ones I personally like and wanted to write about, with my own headcanons for each character and their sexualities. If anybody is interested in me talking about my personal HC's for that, send in an ask tho cause this is already kinda long lol)

At one point, Trevor actually draws attention to himself. Things are quiet and more chill now. Everyone is being supportive, so this is good as time as any-

"Uh, actually, I kinda wanna tell you guys something since we're on the topic. I'm..bisexual."

Everyone is silent for a second, and he actually starts to get nervous, then Lindsay pipes up with

"Dude, hell yeah, bi gang! Love wins, what's up!"

Everyone smiles and laughs, and Fiona highfives Lindsay. Geoff is the next to speak up, "That's great news, Trevor. When did this realization hit you, bud? I've known you for a while now, I had no idea."

"Oh, it was actually maybe..a few months ago? A year maybe? Yeah. About half a year ago I'd say."

Michael chimes in next,

"Wait, isn't that also when you found Fredo and introduced him to Geoff?"

A few oooooh's ring out and Trevor tries to hide his face by looking down and chuckling.

"Uh, yeah. It is.. Anyways! What about you guys? Jeremy, what's your type?" He looks to the shorter male who's lounging on a beanbag near the tv, trying to divert everyone's attention from himself. Jeremy thinks for a second and takes a sip of his beer.

"Hm. Not sure. I like tough people who have a soft side usually, just like me.."

As he names off a few other things he finds attractive, Jack shoots a knowing look over to Ryan. Ryan's had a thing for Jeremy for a while now, and only she knows about it. When you're the crew mom, your kids tell ya everything.

This continues for a while longer with more almost-confessions, before people eventually start slowly passing out. (After a few games of Uno of course. The Monopoly stayed untouched, and they started a game of Twister but were to drunk to stay still and kept toppling onto each other painfully.)

This is a bit longer than I intended and I left out a LOT I wanted to put in but I don't wanna make these too long aishsijsjs I'm not good at writing lol I'm sorry, but I hope you like this!! I could elaborate on other aspects of anyone is curious, I'll be accepting these asks all day so keep em coming 💚💚💚

#achievement hunter #fahc #fahc fiona #fahc gavin #fahc geoff #fahc alfredo #fahc lindsay #fahc michael #fahc matt #fahc jack #fahc trevor #im lazy with tags sorry

[transcendencism]

was tagged by @entering--hyperspace​ to answer some viddy game questions, yeehaw!!

games:

first game you ever played: uhmmmmmmmmm...... my first instinct is to say toontown online ... oh the money i sunk into that game lmao

favorite game: i wish i had a bigger variety of story-driven games to draw from--or video games in general--but my memory is terrible and i’m terrified of asking for new games. undertale kinda like changed my life but the fandom ruined a lot of the affection i had for it sooooooooo ......... probably swtor.

game you’ve played through multiple times: uh...... s... swtor? 👉👈 BESIDES swtor probably uhm... pokemon moon. never had a DS as a kid so the first pkmn game i ever got to play was moon and i played thru it three times, one with each starter (my original starter was rowlet, before you ask). i ALSO played undertale quite a few times, and attempted a genocide run but it made me too sad so i had to stop.

game you hated at first but now love: hm, i don’t think i really have one of those! if i don’t like a game at first, i usually won’t stick around to play it.

game you used to love but now hate: uhh the sims 4. i used to play it so fucking much years ago and i keep trying to come back to it but it’s such an empty game. OH also: never played it myself but i watched someone play detroit: become human and at first i really liked it but looking back on it it’s very... eek. also five nights at freddy’s too, but that has less to do with the game itself and more to do with... uh .. the trauma.

your favorite game atmosphere/setting(s): oh breath of the wild hands down. it helped me through a really tough time last year, and though i’ve never beaten the game, it’s fun to just pop in every once in awhile and ride around hyrule on my horse. also uhm i used to watch a TON of let’s plays years ago because i didn’t ever want to ask my parents for games, and there were a couple that markiplier played that really stuck with me but i can’t remember the name of now. there was one that was like... i think the main character’s child had cancer and the whole game was about that? idk that was a beautiful game though. would love to watch the let’s play again if i could remember. if anyone knows what i’m talking about PLEASE lemme know.

game with the best group/companion(s): honestly...? it’s a tie between kotor and swtor. swtor probably wins just by having more companions & notable characters, but like... i have mixed opinions on kotor and i definitely don’t think it’s the masterpiece everyone told me it was (the game was kinda disappointing to play through bc everyone hyped it up so much), but the characters were really cool.

a game with your favorite ending: oh i HAVE to say undertale. the pacifist ending still makes me cry.

 a game with the WORST ending: the ending to the imperial agent campaign in swtor is disappointing imo. the whole third act’s a disappointment.

best character customization?: like i said, my library of games is incredibly limited. will say sims 4 tho because 1) you can at least fill out the lacking content with custom CC, and 2) the face customization is really fucking cool and it’s a shame the only thing that game has going for it is the graphics.

hero and companions:

your favorite playable character: [cries in “literally all i play is swtor”] UHM. well bringing back me mentioning DBH earlier: i know i know the writing is bad and how they handled the abuse was bad and the civil rights movement allegory was REALLY REALLY REALLY bad.................. but i did like connor. he kinda led to me realizing that i’m aromantic so he has some emotional importance to me. as far as swtor pcs go, uhm.. probably knights, warriors, agents, and consulars. that isn’t to say those are my favorite campaigns (tho.. i mean they are at the top of the list), but i like the playable characters you can come up with in those classes.

your favorite companion(s): oof... OOF. hard question, but... in no particular order: theron, kira, ashara (i need to play the inq campaign again i miss her sm), vette, tau, arn, senya, koth, and probably MORE that i’m forgetting.

relationships:

favorite game friendship(s): unfortunately, base game companions don’t have a TON of interaction together and KOTFEET really let me down trying to shove theron & lana’s friendship down my throat so some of these are speculation: theron & koth, theron & kira, theron & vette, theron & mako, tau & arn, vette & the sith warrior, kira & the jedi knight, teeseven & the jedi knight

favorite game relationship(s): theron/sith warrior, theron/jedi knight, theron/imperial agent, felix/consular

favorite companion banter: again, base companions don’t really get a lot of interaction with one another, so like.... just by default i think this has to go to kira and scourge.

 a relationship you weren’t sure of but loved: hrmm... probably andronikos’ romance? i just kinda romanced him on a whim because inquisitor was the first campaign i played through and i really enjoyed it. didn’t list it as one of my favorites because it’s been so long i hardly remember it, and also the character i had had the personality of a piece of cardboard so they didn’t really click. i was just like... living vicariously through her and living the dream of having a pirate husband.

 a character you wish you COULD romance: i would say zenith but i hc him as aro so like.... i’d want a queerplatonic route but i don’t think bioware would cater that just for me. i’d really like a tau romance though!! i really love her a lot 🥺

fun:

shoutout to a random NPC: ZENITH PLEASE COME BACK

a game you love watching playthroughs for and want to play: i don’t really watch playthroughs these days because the youtubers i used to love as a kid have... just.... idk if i’ve changed or if they’ve changed, but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. the closest thing to playthroughs that i watch these days is Aravail’s veteran mode operation runs, and the guild i’m in on SS wants to start doing vet mode runs again so!! gonna be watching them more to try to learn the mechanics!

i used to watch playthroughs for any game that i wanted to play but was too shy to ask my parents to get me.

love watching playthroughs but won’t ever play: hmmm, horror lets plays probably. i’m really bad at horror and it’s not a good idea for me to play them myself so i watch other people play em lmao

why do you play video games?: well, i like them!! but also they’re a huge coping mechanism for me

i’ll tag @shanfamilydrama, @bongwaterjuice, & @sith-shenanigans, no pressure as always!!

#tag meme #also i dont think read-mores are working rn but i tried 😭

[inusedai]

人間の月

i wanna take a minute and write out a smol headcanon

abt inuyasha & his dumb bf bc i love them

so we all know how heart wrenhing cruel that scene was in chapter 15. vol. 146 when kagura uses kouga’s own comrades against him, as a dead army.  its hard to watch. it gives me all sorts of emotions.

but let me make it better for you by digging a bit deeper into this, more than is necessary, because thats what i do. i strip things apart, tear ‘em down and stitch them back together until i know every fibre of the material. its a blessing and a curse.  FIRST. this scene happened differently in the manga vs the anime. 

but i wanna talk about the manga scene.  because theres a few things i’d like to make note between inuyasha and kouga. esp. between the trio of him, kouga and kagome. i’m a firm believer that kouga only has a mild fascination / grown on crush, on kagome due to it bother inuyasha so damn bad.  its clear to anyone, that dude BREATHES just to annoy inuyasha sometimes.  and its likewise. the bluster, the barking and snarls and jabs and kicks -- its canine language. 

there are undertones, i think that are hidden there.  how many times have you seen dogs interact and u sit there like /nervous sweats ‘they’re gonna kill each other’. but like, all they do is rough house and mouth each other and snarl and bark a lot. but. ultimately. its not SUPER violent.  not to say ofc that dogs CAN’T get super violent with each other. and inuyash and kouga DO do that a lot. super violent. 

but listen.  in this scene.

“It’s better this way, isn’t it.” Its not a question, InuYasha, time after time, uses crass, harsh and sometimes cruel behavior and words to portray what he’s feeling. thats what he grew up learning. how social interaction WAS for him. until he met kagome -- his life was something to be HUNTED and reviled. his education consisted of life threats, fight for your life and fear of being caught by something bigger and stronger. his fangs, his bark; was all he had. from child to adult. 

“I think we should let him die,” I’m going to come back to his. “--so we can take the leg fragments. so that wimpy wolf can’t do anything elsse to us.”

Ok, lemme rip it apart ; as i mentioned before, inuyasha isn’t dumb. he’s driven by instinct, because that was his teacher and coach. ‘i think we should let him die’. he just witnessed, was apart OF what happened to kouga. the first ACTUAL interaction that bled with anatomisty and hate between dog and wolf. inuyasha never had a pack, or family or anyone to protect. kouga grew up groomed for it. with it.  inuyasha KNOWS however, what pack life is. his instincts tell him. inuyasha knows that kouga would die for his pack and his family. and the horror and cruelty that took place, was grounds for him to die; as far as a leader, an alpha. he knew that. could feel it. it wasn’t sympathy or pity or any sort of human inflection.  it was animal law. 

kagome asks, “you mean abandon him.” inuyasha asnwers, “i mean we have no duty to save him.” humans have an extrodinary way of complicating the simple. inuyasha knows this. he sees it in kagome, and often the reason they fight is because he just doesn’t get human subtlies, let alone female subtilies. 

inuyasha was ready to put kouga out of his misery.  to end his suffering. and not for any human reason you can think of, or that i can an put into words. it wasn’t even an animal thing. not quite, because inuyasha IS half human. the capacity IS there.

it was a mercy. or what he thought could be a mercy. it was also a greed. one less pawn for naraku to use IN kouga. against him. against his pack. against kouga’s pack! 

it was incentive too .... a burden he would carry with him. like each person naraku killed, related or him or not; each soul trapped in that spiders web that he couldn’t save. until he finally killed naraku, and he could let it go and hope his actions brought peace. having did what he could. shoulder what he could.  a brutal, merciful, and raw incentive. 

“so that wimpy wolf can’t do anything else to us” this too, is indicative. being able to FEEL and THINK in instincts that are so VERY hard to understand as a human, one can only speculate that the translations between the two, especially AS he’s learning, inuyasha telling kagome ‘how he feels’ when he knows its going to be seen as brutal, is often ( in my own personal opinion ) is often times, very masked. which, again, is another reason why they fight.  he barks what he thinks is an acceptable answer. she bristles he gets offended she gets MAD

he gets CONFUSED. bada bing --- i think that inuyasha meant by that statement, and EVERY undertone theretin the context of this scene, is that... this wasn’t something they should be witnessing.  none of them.  he doesn’t like kouga, but he is a friend to him. any way to slice it really. they’re friends. hostile, antagonistic, i hate u --friends. inuyasha isn’t cruel, he’s been the victim of cruelty. theres no way you can convince me, here there or anywhere, that inuyasah would have walked away from kouga and that bloodbath no matter how much they fought. and we all know kagome likely insisted. without knowing he’d be ok first.  which he was, because kagome used an arrow and saved kouga’s life. but... that might’ev made it harder on kouga. and inuyasha knew that too.

but inuyasha also knows kouga isn’t a quitter, and sometimes a good threat is enough to pick up the pulse. 

#hanyo headcanons #Ramen & Wolf Bites ‘ 狼一口 & ラーメン ’ | feralfang #thank you for coming to my zu talk #i didnt proof read this at all

[psychosistr]

The Stars of the Stage- Chapter 2

Summary: Jonathan runs into a familiar face while getting breakfast at his local coffee shop- lucky for him, that familiar face is quite handsome.

Notes: Who doesn't love a good old fashioned cute "accidentally met up at the coffee shop scenario"? x3

-First Chapter-

Needless to say, Speedwagon got the part of Sir Haste Dray without any other actors really being considered. Soon enough, the rest of the cast list was set, full scripts were sent out to the chosen actors, and rehearsals were scheduled to begin.

Jonathan was excited to see how well the show would come together. However, first, he had to finish up a few last-minute touch-ups for the script. The lines would still be essentially the same, he was just revising the movements for the climactic final fight to make it more dramatic while still being believable.

To help with his concentration, he went to work at the same place he always did when the weather was nice- his favorite coffee shop situated along the river near his apartment complex, The Ripple. He was seated outside at a table under the awning with his laptop open on the table in front of him and a large covered coffee cup with a plate of pastries off to the side. In the middle of deleting a line he’d just typed and had found less than satisfactory, however, he heard a voice calling his name.

“Mr.Joestar?” A figure accompanied the voice approaching him and he looked up to see a familiar looking blonde man dressed in a white tank top and a dark hat. “Ah, thought that was you. ‘ow’s it goin’, Mr.Joestar?” The man greeted him with a friendly smile.

“Oh! Mr.Speedwagon!” Jonathan smiled at him, taking off his glasses and setting them down on the keyboard to see the other man more clearly. “What a pleasant surprise.” He gestured to the seat across from himself at the table. “Stopping in for a drink? If you would like, you’re more than welcome to join me.”

“Mighty kind o’ y’.” Speedwagon grinned and headed for the entrance to the café. “Lemme just go grab a cup an’ I’ll be right back.” He was quick to return with a much smaller cup than Jonathan’s own and a simple croissant rather than Jonathan’s platter of pastries. “So, do y’ come ‘ere often?”

“Actually, yes.” Jonathan chuckled, pointing to his apartment complex down the street. “I actually live right over there. I usually end up here nearly every day of the week, depending on how busy I am.”

“Ha! Y’ gotta be kiddin’ me!” The other man chuckled and pointed at an apartment complex on the opposite side of the river facing the one that Jonathan had pointed at. “I live over in that one, on the fourth floor. Just moved in a few weeks back an’ I’m learnin’ me way ‘round the neighborhood.”

“Really?” Jonathan looked at where he’d pointed then back to his own, noting how the fourth floor lined up with the floor he lived on almost evenly. “Why, it would appear that we are neighbors then.” He chuckled a bit- life sure did work in mysterious ways. “In all likelihood, we’ll certainly be seeing quite a bit of each other.”

Speedwagon took a sip of his drink with a pleased hum. “Well, I sure wouln’ mind that one bit.” He set the cup down and broke off a piece of his croissant. “Say, while I got y’ ‘ere, there’s somethin’ I’d been meanin’ t’ ask y’.”

Jonathan watched the blonde curiously while eating one of his own confections. “Oh?” He swallowed and gestured for Speedwagon to continue. “What would that be, Mr.Speedwagon?”

The blonde man winced slightly at the title. “Ugh, please don’ call me that..makes me feel old. Just Speedwagon’s fine, or even Robert- but don’ go callin’ me Bob or anythin’ like that or I may have t’ deck y’.”

Jonathan chuckled a bit and nodded in agreement. “In that case, please refrain from calling me ‘Mr.Joestar’- just Jonathan is fine, or even Jojo, as that is how most of my friends and colleagues refer to me.”

“Alrigh’ then, Jojo.” Speedwagon’s smile returned, apparently pleased with the increased familiarity between the two of them now. “I read through the script that y’ sent me, an’ I was wonderin’ if I could ask y’ somethin’ ‘bout me character.”

Jonathan nodded as he listened, wondering if perhaps he’d made something unclear about Sir Haste Dray that he would need to explain in more detail. “About Sir Dray? Of course, what would you like to know?”

“Well..it might jus’ be me readin’ too much of meself int’ the character..but..” He paused, tapping his finger against the coffee cup as if considering his wording carefully. “I know the romantic focus for Lord Samuel Sunstone ‘s Lady Bella Penrith..but..does Sir Dray, y’know, ‘ave feelin’s for Lord Sunstone, too?”

Jonathan’s eyes widened slightly. “What..?” Had he really…?

Speedwagon looked back up at him with a thoughtful expression. “Don’ get me wrong, I love the relationship with Samuel an’ Bella, i’s really sweet an’ a long time comin’..but..I dunno, when I read Dray’s lines, the way ‘e talks about lovin’ Samuel’s good nature an’ ‘ow ‘e completely devotes ‘imself to the guy..it just makes me think ‘e might ‘ave a thing for ‘im, y’know?” He frowned at Jonathan’s wide-eyed stare. “I mean, if I’m wrong, y’ can tell me, I was just wonderin’-”

He was startled when Jonathan suddenly reached across the table with both hands and grabbed Speedwagon’s shoulders with an excited smile on his face and stars in his eyes. “You actually picked up on that?! Oh, I cannot believe it! I did not know if that would still come through, but I am delighted you were able to see it!!”

Speedwagon blinked in confusion. “Wait..so..I got it right..?”

“You did!” Jonathan suddenly realized that he had grabbed the smaller man and released him, settling back down in his seat with a slight flush to his cheeks. “My apologies, I became too excited again..I just..I am so happy you were able to notice the truth about Sir Dray’s feelings!” He was still smiling, he couldn’t help it with how excited he was. “I wanted to write their relationship into the story as well, but William said it would confuse the audience since most don’t associate such things with the time period. I tried to tell him that there was an entire subculture and code-system practiced by homosexuals during the Victorian era, but he said it would feel like too much for the audience to believe. So, I was forced to remove a few scenes with Samuel and Dray having the discussion about Dray’s sexual identity and the implications of such a thing between himself and Samuel, but I did not want to change any of the other scenes with them, so I left the dialogue unchanged. I cannot tell you how happy I am to know that their connection was still able to shine through enough for someone to recognize it!”

Speedwagon smiled too, beaming with pride. “I’m jus’ glad I wasn’ misjudgin’ the guy. People tell me all the time I’m tryin’ t’ projec’ me own ‘preferences’ ont’ characters. Good t’ know I was right on this one.”

Jonathan paused for a moment hearing those words, trying not to blush as a rogue idea crossed his mind. “So then..you are..?”

Speedwagon winked at him with a chuckle. “Yep. Gay as a maypole, mate.”

“O-Oh..I see..” Jonathan glanced away, his cheeks feeling warm. Really, now, how ridiculous was that? He barely knew the man and after one short conversation he felt like a school boy with a crush? Honestly, why was he like this? “Well, in any case, I am truly glad you identified so well with Sir Dray. Honestly, I was overjoyed that William allowed me to caste you for the part- you were a perfect fit.”

“Glad y’ thought so, ‘e caught my attention from the moment I read ‘is description.” He took a sip of his coffee and finished up his croissant. “By the way..mind if I ask y’ one more question ‘bout Dray an’ Samuel?”

“You may ask as many questions as you please- I am always excited to talk about my work.” Jonathan replied honestly, more than happy to discuss such things with someone insightful enough to understand his writing so well.

“Hmh, good t’ know.” Speedwagon smiled and set down his coffee cup before asking his question. “I jus’ wanted t’ know..are Dray’s feelin’s for Samuel one-sided, or does Samuel return some of it? Like I said, I’m fine with Samuel an’ Bella’s romance, but thinkin’ that ‘e doesn’ know ‘bout Dray’s feelin’s or jus’ allows the guy t’ follow ‘im ‘round knowin’ ‘e loves ‘im is kinda sad, y’know?”

“Ah..that is a good question.” Jonathan’s smile softened into something more understanding. “To answer it simply- no, Dray’s feelings are not one-sided. Samuel is quite aware of how his dearest friend feels, and, in one of the scenes I unfortunately had to cut, he discusses with his mentor that he has feelings for both his best friend and his long-time crush. He goes on to say that, in a perfect world, he would be allowed to marry both of them and live a long, happy life with the two who have supported him and showed him such love and kindness right when he needed it the most. His teacher acknowledges that his feelings are pure and that he deserves such a life, but advises him on how, even without the influence of the same dark forces the antagonist controls, that peoples’ hearts are fickle and easily led astray by misconceptions and tells him not to be too public with his affections, for both his own and Dray’s safety. I even wrote a scene towards the end where, after Samuel’s wedding to Bella, when they step into their horse-drawn carriage to be carted off for their honeymoon, Dray was the one waiting to open the door for them instead of a random servant. Dray and Samuel would have shared a loving smile at one another before Dray and Bella winked at each other knowingly and each kissed one of Samuel’s cheeks before all three went off into the carriage together to start their new life.”

Speedwagon listened to his words intently, looking positively riveted by the story. “That sounds beautiful, Jojo! Do y’ still ‘ave a copy with those scenes? I’d love t’ read ‘em some time.”

“Certainly.” He replied with a grin. “Would you like me to bring them to the set during the first rehearsal?”

“Hm..I’d rather not wait that long..” Speedwagon reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen. He then proceeded to write something on his coffee cup as he talked. “Tell y’ what, seein’ as we live so close t’ each other, ‘ow ‘bout we just meet up ‘ere again sometime?” He brought the cup to his lips and chugged the last of his drink before setting the cup down near Jonathan’s hand. “I gotta get goin’, else I’ll miss work, but I usually keep me phone on me.” He gave Jonathan a wink as he stood up and grabbed the rest of his trash before walking away. “Be seein’ y’, Jojo.”

Jonathan’s face heated up again from the wink. “F-Farewell for now, Speedwagon.” He managed a wave and a smile, feeling really shy and screaming at himself internally because DID HE REALLY JUST STUTTER LIKE THAT?!!

Once Speedwagon was out of sight, Jonathan looked back down at the coffee cup and grabbed it. He turned it around until he saw that Speedwagon had written his phone number along the side of it along with a message:

“You’re really cute and I like listening to you talk. Looking forward to doing it again sometime- maybe here, or maybe somewhere else? ;) <3 –Speedwagon”

The heat that had previously been burning at his cheeks blossomed into a full-fledged blush that encompassed both of his cheeks and his ears, leaving his face very red.

So, he wasn’t the only one feeling something? That was good to know…

<-Previous Chapter Next Chapter->

End Notes: That's all I have for now, but will post more when I eventually get the chance x3

Also, for anyone curious about the names of the characters from the play, they're all synonyms or close-enough names to the characters from the regular universe because I am half-lazy and half-bad taste in humor x3

#JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #jonathan joestar #robert edward o speedwagon #jonawagon #Modern!AU #stars of the stage

[blightarts]

Choices Academy

Title: Dodgeball Part 1

Disclaimer: This is a small series of incorrect quotes where characters in the entirety of Choices have interactions during a day in middle school. 

MC Names: Casey (ES M!MC, mine), Kite (Blades M!ElfMC, mine), Emily (ES F!MC by @princessstellaris), Julia (RoD MC by @princessstellaris), Sydney (BB MC by @mechaspirit)

Taglist: @princessstellaris, @mechaspirit, @tyrilsstarfury, @itsbrindleybinch, @silverlitskies, @bellaraines

It was PE period for Class 1-A, and everyone’s gathered in the gym. However, instead of any lectures or physical activities happening, there is a discourse occuring between 2 particular students.

Emily: Seriously?! Are you freaking insane?! 😠

Jax: You’re the one here who’s lost their sanity! 😠

Logan: Come on, guys! We’re in class right now. Please cool it! 😱

Emily glares at Logan and puffs up.

Emily: Don’t get in our way, outsider! This is between me and Samurai Jack here. 😤

Jax scoffs.

Jax: I thought that as classmates, all of us can get along. But I see now, that there are those who are worse than ferals. 😡

Emily: You stole the words right outta my mouth! You vampires, like your habits, suck! 😡

Kite gets in between the two.

Kite: Guys, seriously! Does it really matter what condiment you use on fried chicken?! 😤

---------- FLASHBACK ----------

It all started just a few minutes ago when Emily, Diego, Imtura and Julia were discussing about lunch plans.

Diego: So, yesterday, Imtura and I finished our martial arts training with the other apprentices, then she treated us with fried chicken meals at the Blight’s Furnace diner. It was delish! 😍

Imtura: Yep, it was fried to perfection. Like how you humans say it, “chef’s kiss”!

Emily chuckles and gets an idea before turning towards the Bloodbound clique.

Emily: Yo, BB crew! You guys wanna come with us at the Blight’s Furnace diner? My treat. 😁

Adrian: Sounds intriguing. I’m in. 😊

Sydney: Me too! 😍

Kamilah: Oh, I have heard of their fried chicken meals. They are simply divine. 😯

Jax: Fried chicken, eh? 👀

---------- END OF FLASHBACK ----------

Logan: Well, I’m sorry for even asking the question. 😑

Emily raises an eyebrow towards Logan.

Emily: Okay then, Logan. Lemme ask you this; what do you use in fried chicken? Salt & Pepper, or Ketchup? 🤨

Logan shrugs.

Logan: Mayonnaise. 😐

Emily and Jax roll their eyes after hearing a completely different answer.

Emily: Ugh... you’re uncultured too? 🙄

Logan: Eh?

Jax: Pitiful. 😒

Logan: EH??? 😱

Logan shakes his head and composes himself.

Logan: What’s wrong with Mayonnaise? It’s the right condiment! 

Everyone suddenly hears someone clearing their throat. The class turn to see their PE teacher, Ximena, crossing her arms.

Ximena: I’ve been listening this entire time and it seems like people are more eager to know what to eat later than what to learn now. 😤

The class quickly assembled themselves in front of Ximena as she sighs.

Ximena: You know what? Just to put an end to this debate, let’s all do a survey about the issue.

A while later, 21 students partook of the poll that Ximena initiated. The other 10 students stood aside, not interested in participating or not wanting to be part of a discourse. These 9 students are Diego, Raj, Michelle, Zahra, Grace, Aleister, Kade, Threep, Colt and Lily. Ximena observes the amount of people that prefer either Salt & Pepper, Ketchup or Mayonnaise.

Ximena: Okay, okay. The groups aren’t as even as I thought. 👀

The results of the survey are as follows:

Mayonnaise: Logan, Nia, Loola, Kite, Jake, Adrian, Kamilah, Mona

Ketchup: Jax, Casey, Furball, Tyril, Sydney, Quinn, Sean

Salt & Pepper: Emily, Imtura, Estela, Craig, Julia, Mal

The people of the different groups then start discussing about their shared tastes with each other and their differed tastes from the others.

Kite: Huh, odd. I’d assume that Julia would side on Logan on this one, given how much she loves him. 🤔

Logan: Sniffs. Julia, my dear... 🤧

Julia waves at Logan, acting adorable.

Julia: Sorry, sweetheart. I still love you, but I prefer salt & pepper on my fried chicken. 🥺

Logan chuckles.

Logan: I know. Just playin’. Love you too. 😆

Meanwhile, Emily glares at her husband, Jake, and her own twin brother, Casey.

Emily: TRAITORS!! 😤

Jake shrugs with a smirk.

Jake: Sowwy, Pwincess. I like my chicken mayo’d. 😗

Casey smiles shyly.

Casey: I like mine with ketchup, Em. Sorry. 😅

Emily turns away and puffs her cheeks. Meanwhile, in the Ketchup group...

Tyril: So, you prefer ketchup too?

Quinn: Yes, I’ve always liked it when I was younger. It’s so sweet. 😊

Tyril looks at Furball.

Tyril: Even your snow fox prefers ketchup? 🤨

Quinn nods, holding Furball close with seriousness in her eyes.

Quinn: Absolutely, no further questions. 👀

Furball smiles.

Furball: Mrrf! 💕

Imtura chuckles while being with Estela, Mal and Craig.

Imtura: Haha! I like this, the strongest students choosing the strongest flavor. 😁

Estela: My Tio used to cook fried chicken with salt & pepper for me and my mom. They were my favorite. 😊

Craig: They just taste good together. Ketchup and mayo can suck it! 😤

Mal: I’ve never even tried the two. I’m so, as you modern people say, “old school” compared to you. 😅

Kite looks around and notices that Mayonnaise has the most voters.

Kite: Well, I guess Mayo gets the win in this? 😯

Logan grins.

Logan: Right then! That means Mayo is the best condiment for chicken. I guess everyone should just accept tha--

Emily and Jax quickly raise their hands towards Logan with rage.

Emily: SHUT IT!! 😡

Jax: SHUT IT!! 😡

Logan: Wtf?! 😱

Ximena sighs at the still occurring discourse and just grabs a dodgeball from the storage room. 

Ximena: I guess we’ll just settle this in a game then.

Casey: A dodgeball game? 😯

Ximena: Yes. Each team has to prove everyone else that their preferred condiment is superior through their sheer efforts.

Jax scoffs.

Jax: I’m game... if Emily isn’t scared of losing. 👀

Emily: If anyone’s losing here, it’s y’all Ketchup and Mayonnaise heathens. 👀

Kite: ...So much for making this fun for all of us. 😑

Logan: GG (Good Game). 😅

Ximena then turns to the 9 uninterested students.

Ximena: Anyone wanna join to even out the teams?

The students shake their heads and Ximena groans. She then spots 3 other students passing by the gym; Aerin, Ava and Atlas.

Ten minutes later, the participating players are all gathered at the center of the gym with a drawn circle split into 3 areas for the 3 teams to occupy. Ximena stands outside the circle with a whistle and the other students spectate from the seats.

Ximena: You can all use your abilities, magic or otherwise, and those who are hit are out of the game.

Atlas: Hold the fork up!

The students turn to Atlas, puffing.

Atlas: Why are we being dragged into this? 😤

Ximena: To even the numbers.

Atlas: Even the numbers?!

Atlas points to the spectating students.

Atlas: Why can’t you ask them?! 😤

The spectating students shake their heads.

Colt: Trust me, buddy, as much as I want to participate, we’re surrounded by powerful people who can use magic and such. Not my forté. 😑

Aleister: I believe they’re just being immature. 😤

Grace: Me too. 😕

Michelle: Me three! There are better and less childish ways to settle this. 😠

Threep: I may be a nesper but I am not physically or magically capable to play. 😗

Zahra shrugs.

Zahra: I just don’t wanna join PE class. 😒

Lily: Right?!

The two punk girls share a high five.

Raj: I prefer all 3 condiments, and I’m not much into favorites. 😅

Atlas: Condiments? 🤨

Emily: Yes! And the Salt & Pepper team are counting on you, Lunar Lady. 😁

Atlas: What is going on....? 😑

Aerin pats Atlas’s back.

Aerin: I do not know either, but let us try to have fun, my friend. 😊

Atlas recoils from Aerin.

Atlas: Ey, back off, Dread Boy! 😤

Meanwhile, in the Ketchup team, Ava converses with her teammates.

Ava: So, magic and abilities are allowed, eh?

She cracks her knuckles with an devious grin.

Ava: This is gonna be fun. 😈

Sydney channels her vampiric powers as her eyes gleam bloodshot red.

Sydney: Oh, it will be. 👀

Sean: Let’s not end up killing people please. 😅

While the teams prepare, Kade and Diego are holding microphones, tasked to act as commentators of the game.

Diego: Alright, everybody! Welcome to the 2020 Choices Dodgeball games! I am your host, Diego Soto. 😁

Kade: And I’m your host, Kade. Today’s match shall decide which the best condiment to use in fried chicken. 😊

Ximena blows the whistle, starting the game!!

---------- TO BE CONTINUED ----------

#playchoices #choices stories you play #quinn kelly #jake mckenzie #estela montoya #sean gayle #diego soto #raj bhandarkar #michelle nguyen #craig hsiao #zahra namazi #grace hall #aleister rourke #nia ellarious #mal valori #tyril starfury #imtura tal kaelen #choices kade #aerin valleros #choices logan #colt kaneko #choices mona #jax matsuo #adrian raines #kamilah sayeed #lily spencer #endless summer #blades of light and shadow #ride or die #bloodbound

[spiderrpcrkerwrites]

La Vie En Rose

a/n: Fell into the trap and finally wrote a bucky fic. I’m still on hiatus, just wrote this one night and thought I’d upload it. This is based on the film ‘Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na’ and this is some self-indulgent floofy shit. Thanks to @thebookwormslytherin and @bucket-barn for beta reading it

This version of the song was my inspo for this (The other songs used are Almost (sweet) music by Hozier and That’s Amore by Dean Lewis

"Pullll me close and hold me fast, this magic spell you caaaaast…" the entire backseat droned on as Sam thought to join in before he saw Anne's face and decided not to.

"Sorry, this song just has a special meaning for our group." He said sheepishly, as Nat, Peggy, and Steve finished with a flourish. 

"Yes, that's why we're being treated to it since 5th Avenue."

"Told you guys, she's very funny." Sam turned around to face his friends before his eyes went to the road again. 

They had been traveling for a good 30 minutes, off to pick up some friends of, well, her semi-boyfriend's. When she'd initially met the other three, all of whom were his uni mates, Anne had liked them well enough. Now that all three were determined to raise Edith Pilaf from her grave, she felt ready to jump out of the window.

~

She strode away from Sam, trailing after Steve and Peggy who were walking hand in hand. Sam stopped to lock the car as Nat watched on.

"What?"

"When is your flight taking off?"

"Huh?"

"Sam, baby, when are you telling her?" 

"Telling who what?"

"You know, 'I wouldn't know where to start...'" Natasha sung in her worst baritone as he rolled his eyes.

"Look, we're taking it slow."

"Yes, very slow. Bring a pilot on her day off to an airport. You're such a dumbass." She smacked him on the shoulder.

They caught up to the other three, who sat outside the entrance. Anne was tapping at her phone angrily.

"Why are we outside?" He asked Steve.

"There's a bomb threat, apparently. And also their flight is late."

"Fuck me." Anne now looked up. "We'll have to stay out here?"

"Don't you like airports?" Peggy asked her, a single eyebrow raised. 

"Nope. Hate em."

"I love airports." Natasha sat down next to Anne. "Every goodbye here is full of stories."

"How nice. I hate stories. Especially those that end at airports." She frowned.

"Well, I've got a great story for you. And we don't have much to do anyway. There's some very bad weather on their side."

"Ugh, my battery is about to die. Go on then, this tale of yours. If it's boring I'll tell you though."

"I swear you won't. Okay then, how shall I start?"

"Tell her about the trip!" Steve sat up straight.

"Oh, let me start properly." Nat stretched her arms. "Sam, go get some snacks. This is a long story. Now, our story starts with Bucky and Y/N..."

~

"Any plans for what you're going to do after?" Nat asked Y/N as the latter stretched towards a taco. Frowning at Nat, she picked it up and sighed. 

"Nope. Probably going to waste my time going around on stupid outings like this." She gasped as Bucky took the taco out of her hand, biting into it, eyebrows raise. She smacked him on the shoulder and reached for another. 

"You two could always get married." Sam quipped, eyeing Steve as he said so, who turned away, suddenly fascinated with a wall clock.

"For the last time, no. Bucky snores in his sleep. Also, I'm sure his girlfriend would mind very much."

"Wait. Girlfriend?" Peggy sat up. "Seriously?"

"We've been on just two dates, guys. It's nothing serious."

"Pretty sure she'll have a problem with your other girlfriend, Buck." At this Y/N rolled her eyes. 

"Well, when are we meeting her?" At Nat saying this, the others joined in, teasing and threatening Bucky.

"I've asked her to come along on the skiing trip, you could meet her then." He got up. "I'm off. Doll, you coming?"

"Eww, they're dating?" 

"No, no. That's what everyone thought. They had been friends since childhood when Y/N had beat his ass with a barbie. Now, don't interrupt me."

~

The trip was supposed to be their last hurrah before they all took the world by storm. Or were supposed to, at least. Y/N didn't think it was a great time to introduce Bucky's girlfriend, Alyssa, who had met her and had asked her twice if she really was just his friend. 'Why else was she calling him at 3 A.M.?' Was her justification for the Spanish Inquisition.

Y/N sighed for the 50th time since coming back from the first day of skiing.

"You do that a lot these days?" Peggy sat down beside her, blowing a kiss at Steve, who sat a few feet away.

"Eugh. It's seeing all you lovey dovey people that's giving me a headache." Y/N had accidentally walked in on them making out after a party at Sam's apartment, who had grasped her by the shoulders and gently guided her out. He had explained the two had apparently fallen for each other over the course of describing their ideal partners to each other.

"Well, Sam's always available. Nat, I suspect, is off talking to Sharon so she might not be."

"Please, no. Now, tell Steve to get you hot cocoa I can steal off of you later."

"I'm sensing some unrequited love here." Anne was the one sighing now. It was interesting, yes, but she was not about to eat her words. Steve and Peggy returned from their jaunt to see when the flight would be landing, so far it didn't show any signs.

"Mmm, maybe. We were all sure they were the only ones who didn't realize how much they acted like a couple. Bucky and Alyssa kept dating, though. You had to practically keep them off each other like magnets."

"And Y/N? Didn't she say anything to Bucky?"

"I think she was happy at him being happy too. She cared about that more than anything else."

~

The bonfire spat and threw sparks into the air as the group sat in front, freezing cold. Alyssa was not present there, quoting a family urgency. Some sick part of Y/N felt great about it.  She kept quiet as she snuggled up next to Bucky, who put an arm around her. She looked up as Steve hummed quietly.

"Please, no singing." Sam woke up from his apparent sleep. Steve started singing loudly, leading everyone to start groaning.

"When the moon hits your eye…"

"No, God no!" Sam sat up straight as Nat hooted with laughter at him sticking his glove laced fingers in his ears.

"Okay, then, Sammy, what song would you sing if you fell in love?"

"Hmm. What about…" He played the opening lines of Almost Sweet Music on the guitar that had mostly been left alone the whole night. Y/N smiled and started clapping as Sam started to sing and later everyone joined in.

"What would you sing, James?" Peggy turned to Bucky now.

"Hmm. That's a secret."

"Come on." Y/N punched his arm. "Give us a demo."

"Noooo."

"Come onnnn!"

"Ugh fine. Probably La Vie En Rose." 

"Did you sing that to Alyssa yet?" Natasha turned to him as Sam gave Y/N a single raised eyebrow.

"We're not in love. But if it happens…"

"You should practice for that!" Y/N cheered as Sam handed her the guitar. "Come on, I'll play."

Bucky smiled, closed his eyes and began to sing. His phone glowed once or twice, but someone put it on silent. Meanwhile, a mile or so away, Alyssa slammed her phone down. 

"Uh oh. Trouble in paradise?"

"Like you couldn't imagine." Peggy smiled. "Those two really were idiots. And they would get more and more ridiculous as time went on."

~

After the trip, it seemed like Bucky and Alyssa couldn't even stand to talk to each other. She unceremoniously dumped him and came over once to give him his stuff. Noticing Y/N coming out of the washroom, she glared at her and left.

Were they really just friends if so many people seemed to suggest the opposite? Bucky wondered as Y/N put on a movie and crashed on the couch, snuggling up to him as usual. He didn't put his arm around her, opting to put it on the back of the sofa. She frowned and put it on her shoulders, seemingly paying no heed.

And then she went and decided to date Brock Rumlow.

"What the fuck?" Anne was visibly shocked. Sam handed her a Dorito as she gasped at Natasha, who simply shrugged. 

"That was our exact reaction, too."

"Seriously? Rumlow? Doll, you have several options!"

"Bucky, you know him! He's Uncle Noah's son; he's nice. And it's just a movie."

"Correction: he used to be nice. Then he keyed a car and stole things and bullied the hell out of everyone."

"I didn't say anything about Alyssa, okay? Lemme live, jesus."

"Are they pining yet? Is the pining happening yet?"

"Patience, Annie dearest. It's barely begun. But yes, to answer your question, the pining had begun."

"I just don't know what she sees in him. I could find her a better guy." Bucky complained to Nat one night as they sat in her room, him angry over Y/N canceling plans over Brock thinking she and Bucky were too close.

"Then do it. Is there anyone out there who could meet your standards for the best guy for her?"

"I-I know Rumlow, okay? He's the worst." Maybe it wasn't about him. Maybe it was the fact that he had begun to see how well he and Y/N went together or how much he loathed to see her with anyone else.

"Aha! It's finally mutual! So,happy ending? They confess and Y/N and Brock broke up?"

"Hmm. Yes and no."

She did break up with Rumlow, when he started pointing too much at her and Bucky's friendship. Feelings annoyed her to hell.

She announced to everyone that she was off doing a three-year course in Los Angeles. Everyone felt she needed the break, but they also felt concerned at seeing Bucky and Y/N, who couldn't even go to the corner store without telling each other, would go without seeing each other for three whole years.

"Oh God, is this where the airport part comes in?"

"Bingo, baby!"

After they'd seen her off, Nat was driving them home. She saw Bucky in the passenger seat, incessantly texting someone. She hummed as he looked up.

"What."

"You should've told her. Its practically reeking off you two."

"The only thing worse than long distance friendship is a relationship, Nat."

"And the one thing worse than that is having mutual feelings but never conforming them. I'm pulling over,you call her right now."

"And then?"

"Then what, he called, we cheered. As soon as she picked up, he sang that stupid song of his, through a storm of tears. Judging by him jumping up and down, she probably accepted."

"And then?" Anne sat on the edge of her seat.

"Well, we drove straight to the airport to have a ticket done for him for three weeks later. They didn't get that epic cinematic kiss at the airport, because well, security, but they did send a disgusting one in a picture later."

"Hey! The flight's landed!" Sam announced as he jogged over to where they were sitting. The others cheered and stood up to go greet their friends as Anne remained sitting.

"What? You don't want to see the stars of the story?" He sat down beside her. She hung her head down and smiled at the ground, and started singing in the lowest of voices, "Came in from the outside..." as she looked up at him. Sam grinned and swept her into his arms.

~

"Oh ew, are they kissing?"

"Thank God, I couldn't stop through another Y/N-Bucky esque drama. One is quite enough."

"Speaking of, there they are!" Peggy waved at them as Natasha and Steve looked towards arrivals

Later, when Bucky and Y/N were informed it was Sam's now-girlfriend that had been told their story to pass the time, they tried to figure which was more confusing. The fact that a stranger knew about them or the fact that said stranger was now Sam's girlfriend.

They both gave up eventually.

#bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky imagine #mcu imagine #bucky x fem!reader #bucky barnes x fem!Reader #no powers au #My writing