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delicrieux · 3 years

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corpse husband... 👀 could I get a soft pastel aesthetic reader playing among us with the group and being absolutely terrible at it. maybe like she sees him kill someone and doesn’t say anything or report it and he follows her around to sorta protect her from the other imposter? at the end she asks why he didn’t kill her and he says it’d be too easy but ofc someone’s gonna make jokes and be like “no you’re just a simp” idk i think that’d be funny? you dont have to tho- no worries

⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡author’s note: we love pastels and corpse in this house. we love the “i’m helping cuz u cute” trope. we love the public simping. gotta stan this request

masterlist.⁀➷｡˚⸙͎۪۫⋆ ༄

There is a long list of things you’re terrible at, and Among Us is at the very top. But besides your lack of prowess at the game, it is perhaps luck you should curse, for what you have just witnessed will send you into the afterlife: Corpse’s little black astronaut murdering Rae in cold blood. You still by your keyboard; out of the corner of your eye, you see he chat going nuts. The stream just got ten times more interesting.

For a long few seconds neither of you move. You’re not exactly surprised Corpse is the Impostor, it’s just that you desperately did not want to get in his way - you’re bad enough at this game as it is, and trying outmaneuver the master at this game of chess? Impossible.

Shrugging, you glance at your camera, “I ain’t see nothing.” Before, in-game, you promptly turn on your heel and glide to the other side of the map. Corpse follows. You start sweating, “Noooo, I swear I’m not gonna snitch, please spare me, sir. I swear on my” You idly tap your cat headphones with your hand, “-only prized possession. And my plushie collection.” He’s still trailing after you, even when you hop into Navigation. Turning to the chat, you ask, “Guys, how do I telepathically convey to Corpse that I’m not going turn him in? No one tell him, though, that’s cheating.”

“girl, start manifesting” one comment reads.

“Oh, manifesting, okay. Saw that on TikTok. I also heard it’s like a big thing in LA.”

You’d imagine that if somehow you were actually transported to the cool chamber of a dying spaceship, cornered by a black figure with devil horns blocking your exit, you would probably start crying. But you’re safe in your little stream room, decorated in fairy-lights and soft colours and even softer blankets. That initial primal fear of having nowhere left to run lingers, though, and you gulp.

A meeting is called and you breathe out a heavy sigh of relief before unmuting your mic, the first to chime, “What happen--No! Rae! Who killed Rae, fess up now!”

“Well, maybe you killed Rae!” Sean exclaims, and even if you can’t see him, you instinctively know he’s pointing a finger at you.

“It wasn’t (Name).” Corpse says smoothly, “We’re together.” He backtracks quickly, laughing anxiously, “Uh--In game, I mean.”

The conversation rages on, though you’re forgotten, which is a small reprieve. Corpse is quick to frame someone else and everyone agrees to vote. Momentarily you can’t believe you’re betraying your fellow crewmates and wonder why you’re doing it exactly. To make an entertaining stream? That’s definitely part of it. Charlie is flung into lava and you know it should’ve been Corpse but you’re having a bit too much fun to care.

“nooooo!!!! they corrupted her!!!! our sweet baby is on the villain arc!!! RIP”

You hope not mentioning what you had seen transpire minutes prior will dissuade him from killing you - he still could, but he’s just standing by the door, watching your movements. You decide you will only figure it out once your back is turned to him, whilst doing your tasks. Apprehensively, you get to it and--

Nothing happens.

Once you’re finished, you run circles around him. He joins in soon. The olive branch had been accepted. You grin. Rush out of Nav and he, once again, follows after you.

The game continues like this, you doing tasks and he hoovering by your side like some little guardian devil. You almost forget that he’s the Impostor until he murders Sean right in front of you. You slap your hand over your mouth. Did Stockholm Syndrome kick in already? He self reports and his first words are, “(Name) and I found a body in Weapons.”

You aren’t sure how much your betrayal aided the Impostor victory, but you were the only survivor left between two serial-killers. Your chat spams celebration emoticons and fake-deep monologues about living in a society. While you were an unofficial Impostor, your audience single-handedly decides you were the best one.

It’s all laughter and apologies from your part to your slighted teammates, though even they have to admit it was a good game. Everyone agrees to play another round, but before it can start, you just have to know, “Hey, Corpse?”

“Yes, (Name)?”

“Why didn’t you kill me?”

“Oh,” He mutters, a small chuckle following after his words, “it would’ve been, uhh, too easy, I guess?”

“Lies.” Sean interrupts, “It’s because you’re a fucking SIMP!”

The discord call choruses “SIMP SIMP SIMP” in surprising harmony. You sit in your chair, giggling, smiling so brightly your cheeks start hurting.

“Guys, come on--” Corpse says, sounding like he’s smiling, like he’s got his face covered with his hands, like he’s embarrassed; he laughs - it’s a light, pretty sound, “I just wanted (Name) to have fun. And not be killed by Sykkuno.”

“Wait--” Sykkuno pipes up, “So you just...followed her around the map?”

“...Yeah.”

“Oh my God, you stupid simp!” Sean laughs, “(Name) was there when he killed me, I was so confused why she didn’t say anything because I figured she was the other Impostor, but turns out he just kidnapped her. Don’t worry, (Name), we don’t blame you for betraying the crew. You did what you had to do to survive.”

“It’s the her seeing Corpse kill me and pretending she’s blind for me.” Rae snickers.

“Wait a fucking minute,” Charlie says, “you mean to tell me, (Name), our little pastel princess fucking peach over there, saw Corpse slitting your throat and fucked right off, and then lied like a grade-a-politician during the meeting? Who killed Rae fess up my ass, you all are saying Corpse played us like a fucking fiddle but it was actually (Name) the whole time.” You hear a smile in his voice, and somehow feel a surge of pride, “(Name)--” He’s cut off by Sean trying to interject but quickly shushes him with a few choice words “Jesus fucking Christ, shut up, I’m trying to figure something out. (Name), did you or did you not use Corpse for protection?”

You’re giggling; you can’t control the sporadic giddiness mixed with light anxiousness, “I just...I just didn’t want to die!” You exclaim. More laughter.

“I rest my case, she’s a fucking wolf in sheep’s clothing, it’s always the nice one’s that stab you in the back for the fuck of it.”

“Guys,” Corpse says, “guys, guys, guys...Let’s play another round?”

“Yes”es are exchanged like trading cards. Before long, your screen lights up and you gape at the word IMPOSTOR written over you little astronaut standing right next to...Corpse.

You grin: if the last game was crazy, this one will be straight up insane.

hope you liked it! xx

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband fic #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband imagine #imagine #imagines #reader insert #request #fluff

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wh6res · 3 years

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127 SQUAD AND ROMANTIC BF TINGS

tw a lil bit of suggestive on jae's but nothing explicit

✰ — TAEIL would sing lullabies over the phone or video call. you and him would just be doing your own thing, not talking but enjoying being each other's presence. he'll probably pull out his guitar and start singing random songs until he eventually notices you fell asleep on him. will not end the call and when you wake up in the morning, his snores and his cute sleeping face is the first thing you see. "love? you still there? ... taeil?" then laugh out loud when you hear his snores instead. "okay yeah lets sleep more" the call will only end probably because his phone died. he kinda strikes me as a guy who's phone is always < 50% battery lmao

✰ — JOHNNY is your everything. literally. as long as he has the power of youtube, google, and instruction manuals on his side, he can fix anything and everything for you. we've all seen him do crafty things on jcc lmao so it'll probably apply to relationships as well. will 100% say you now owe him cuddles for fixing something for you. you kinda dont like the fact that he's doing all these things for you so you try doing them on your own without him knowing only to fail big time. "what did we learn today?" "never touch the pipes under the sink" "and?" "and always ask johnny for help" "nuh-uh thats not how i said it" you sigh exasperatedly "always let my smokin hot amazing handsome boyfriend johnny suh get the job done"

✰ — TAEYONG doesn't care whether you take the time shopping or not. in fact, he loves seeing you all excited and giddy for pampering yourself as you should. totally the type to hold the paper bags even if you complain and say you can manage on your own. is a complete angel and will wait patiently outside changing rooms and will give you genuine insight he has of the clothes you picked. "that looks nice. you should get that. the length is just right and the sleeves help accentuate your waist" "really yongie?" "yes love. i mean you look pretty in everything anyway" miss ma'am my heart just fucking melted ?¿?

✰ — YUTA doesn't look like it but will exert real effort into things. would be the type to have a note or a google doc about your favorite orders from restaurants because he just loves how your eyes light up appreciatively and you look so smitten by him. its like a cheat sheet. eventually he memorizes the list with how much time he spends with you and he wont even need it. the type to always bring you food before meeting you (if its just hanging out inside the house). "no way! i was just craving for these!" he smiles before kissing your forehead, volunteering to put the food out its container for you. "i figured. you'd been working since this afternoon. lets eat first then you can tell me about what you've been working on so i can help you, okay?"

✰ — DOYOUNG loves cooking for you. i highkey feel like its his love language? like cooking for you and seeing your eyes light up as it darts back to him after you take your first bite from whatever he cooked just gives him so much happiness. its disgustingly sappy and he doesn't like talking about it. now he understood fully what it meant to see your loved ones eating and being full yourself or some shit. idk how the actual quote goes okay dont come 4 me but u probably get it. anyway the type to always pack you lunch and will get hella mad if you skip meals. "what do you mean you havent eaten yet?" "yeah but i will after i--" "you mean you're going to eat Now?" "what? no maybe later--" "thats it im coming over"

✰ — JAEHYUN would be the type to make you playlists. its really random sometimes he'll send them to you in the early morning for the heck of it bc he cant sleep. most of the time its him being horny lmao the frat boy in him awakening and sending you a playlist called imma blow your back out or something extremely cringey and thirsty pls dont block his sorry ass maybe he'd spell out the words using song titles too! idk jae just rlly strikes me as a guy who's love language is music. "hey babe did you check the playlist i sent you?" "wtf its 4am???" "oh so you havent listened to it yet?" "fuck off" but at the end of the day he'll come over and will use the playlist to,,, you know,,, do the sexy thing ;)

✰ — JUNGWOO always makes sure you walk on the inside of the road. you know when you're walking in the street and he softly nudges your waist? yes. will probably even scold you playfully because with how long its been since you both are together, "babe you always walk on the inside of the road how many times do i have to tell you?" is also the type to remind you to wear your seatbelt immediately after hopping onto his car. would ask you Again while in the middle of the car ride because he forgot that he already asked you earlier. please don't mind him he's just looking out for you bb. "seatbelt?" "yes, babe. already done" "are you sure? i dont think i heard it click--" "babe eyes on the road please" "oh right sorry"

✰ — MARK sends you tiktoks, vines, or memes. this is his love language fite me im calling it. he just wants to see you laugh too okay? thats why he does it. i mean it made him laugh, so maybe it will you laugh too. also because he hopes to make inside jokes with u cuz he believes thats how people really get close and stuff. would definitely love it if you do the same thing with him. you'd be chilling in the sofa while khalid plays on the bluetooth speaker and he'll suddenly go "babe babe babe check this out!" then you both proceed to laugh at a vine for the next thirty minutes <3 #living.the.yn.life

✰ — HAECHAN will do your skincare for you when you're drunk or super tired that you just passed out cold on the bed. would probably come into the room to see you snoring and tutting bc now he has to do it for you again but meh deep down he loves it because he enjoys admiring your sleeping face. its sorta like a healing thing for him? yeah it just washes away all the stress he's feeling and bb is just excited about the idea that this becomes "your thing" with him if u get what im saying? altho the next day he'll probably use it as a leverage to get out of chores :) "no way im not folding our clothes" "and why is that?" "i took your make up off yesterday u know how hard that is? im still tired" "but its literally the next day--" "awww thank you for doing my chores, baby! u the best!" ._.

#nct #nct 127 #jaehyun #taeyong #taeil #johnny #yuta #jungwoo #haechan #mark #doyoung #nct 127 headcanons #nct 127 hcs #nct headcanons #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 x y/n #nct 127 x you

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organic-guacamole · 3 years

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episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #hsmtmts spoilers #ej caswell #ricky bowen #gina porter #seblos #nini salazar roberts #jack hsmtmts #carlos rodriguez #seb mathew smith #kourtney greene #big red #ashlyn caswell #caswell cousins #portwell will be the death of me #guac's episode text blocks :)

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tommybaholland · 3 years

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Hiya! I was wondering if I could request a one-shot with Sugawara where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe another person catches his attention and the reader starts to distance themselves from Suga to try to spare themselves the hurt? Then maybe turns out the other person was just using Suga/wasn’t serious bout him and he realizes that the person he really loves is the reader but now they’re staying away from him and just angst and fluff and dramatic confessions?? Sorry if it’s far too much detail, I get carried away. Your writing is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!

somebody, some body

featuring: sugawara

goddddd i’m so sorry i am late with a post AGAIN. this has been way overdue to be posted actually, and last night i finished it and was almost done with editing but accidentally lost everything i added and edited in the draft :// so thank you for being patient with me! this ended up being pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the wait :) anyway, i really liked this idea! i have a little personal experience with this kind of situation, so it was fun to explore those feelings a bit. thanks for requesting and enjoy!

you didn’t always know that you would be in love with koshi sugawara. your dynamic was always friendly, and nothing more. so where did you go wrong?

when you think back to your history with suga, you could never find yourself resenting any time you spent with him. it all started when you moved into his neighborhood and as a shy child, you didn’t have the easiest time making friends. but he was a kind boy who was around your age and made it easy for you to form a bond with him. after all those years, neither one of you had changed that much. you were still reserved at heart but, he was the one who pushed you to things that you both could enjoy.

one is joining the high school volleyball club together. you weren’t usually one to go outside of your comfort zone, but with him, you felt like you could do anything. he had you fuel your enthusiasm and you had him to thank for that. volleyball ended up being a great idea because it was quite a versatile sport that anyone could play. you found that you were quite athletic and took a liking to the libero position. there was just something exciting about digging a ball off the ground and rolling on the floor to get back up again. also, it looked pretty cool.

so that was great until you hurt your shoulder during a game, which ended up being more severe than it seemed. now you couldn’t lift your left arm very far over your head unless you wanted to dislocate your shoulder again. it was already a tough recovery period because all you wanted to do was get back to the game.

he was there with you for the entirety of it and even though he mostly encouraged you, he had to make sure you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself. you felt helpless. it was the lowest he had ever seen you and he did everything he could to lift you back up again.

that was something you could never take for granted with him.

the thing about you and suga is that you were in constant contact, especially during school. if it wasn’t sending each other funny memes or tiktoks, you were either on snapchat with each other or texting. sometimes simultaneously.

are you alive??

yeah i’m awake, unfortunately

what do u want sugar-wara

whoa how are you up this early lol and sugar is my thing ok

let’s go get sweet buns before class

ur right, it is ur thing. ur sugar-wara

okay i’ll meet you by the light in 15

there was a lonely intersection in your neighborhood with a red stoplight that seems to have malfunctioned and now the light never stops blinking. you and suga lived on the same street, with the intersection being a perfect place to literally meet in the middle.

“hey, sugar-- uh oh. someone doesn’t look so sweet today!”

he was always so peppy in the mornings.

“yeah, well, maybe if someone didn’t wake me up with their annoying texts..”

“if you really don’t want to be woken up, you’d put your phone on do not disturb. you can thank me later for being your alarm clock.”

he gave you a bright smile and a few head pats before you set off down the road to your favorite bakery which happened to be on the way to school. you didn’t go every morning, but most days it was necessary for you to start your day off right.

“how’s the team looking this year, mr. vice captain?”

“pretty good, actually! four first years joined the team and one of them’s over six feet tall. our blocks will be unstoppable!”

there were several things you loved about suga but, if there was one thing you enjoyed most, it was hearing him get psyched about volleyball. even though you couldn’t play anymore, his undying enthusiasm for the sport made you feel like you were living through him vicariously.

“and there’s one who’s on the shorter side, only a little taller than noya. but he seems to have so much energy and drive, it’s just-- i don’t know, i have a feeling we could actually make it to nationals this year.”

“wow, that’s great!”

“you should come to practice and see them! also we just got asahi back so i need to make sure my sets really land.”

“kou, you know i love watching you guys but isn’t that what kiyoko’s there for?”

“well, yeah, but you know how i play best!”

“yeah, sure. it’s not like i have anything better to do.”

“you never let me down!”

his smile never let you down.

it was your senior year of high school and it felt like things were going to be nothing but great.

“so...speaking of you knowing me best,” he started rather hesitantly.

“what would you do if i...made you dinner?”

“i...what?”

“oh, uh, oh, no. not, like, i make you dinner but, like...rei finally agreed to come around tonight and i thought i’d make something for them.”

“oh, um,” you tried to force a smile. “yeah, i think they’d like that.”

“yeah? you don’t think it’s too cheesy or anything? we haven’t hung out very much but i’d thought it would be a nice way to show them that i mean what i feel, you know?”

“yeah, yeah! that sounds perfect, kou..”

if only they knew that they were so lucky.

you knew about this person, rei. they were your teammate and even a friend at one time. they transferred to karasuno during your second year and you bonded over your shared interest of the libero position. they didn’t get to play much that season until you got injured and had to quit playing.

to see them fill that position so easily, it made you feel so type of way. a way that suga couldn’t know because even though he was there for you, he couldn’t deny his feelings. you remember when he told you that he liked them. about how he’s liked them ever since they came to karasuno and about how he was nervous to talk to them.

and guess what?

you encouraged him. you encouraged him to try to pursue someone who you knew and liked, so now you had to hide that you were envious of both their position on the team AND the fact that your best friend is in love with them.

at first, you tried to look at it as a positive point. you were still friendly with them, but volleyball was the only thing that connected you so you didn’t talk to them that much anymore. but now that suga, the person you’re closest to, was talking to them, it opened up the possibility that you would be able to reconnect with them. you had to be supportive. you were his friend, his closest friend, after all.

the next morning you didn’t wake up from a text from suga. no, it took several snooze buttons to wake you up, which already put you in a bad mood.

it’s ur turn now. are u alive??

i actually woke up to my alarms, how weird. u must be dead lol

also have you done the english assignment yet? i need serious help >_<

you weren’t afraid to double, triple, even quadruple text him because more often than not, he did that to you. sometimes he’d even send longish paragraphs as he did later that day when classes had already started.

hey sorry today has just been filled with fun and thriving and good stuff! rei asked me if i wanted to meet up with them before school last night and they made me some sweet buns and they were soooo good. i think we’re going to eat lunch together with some of their friends from vbc. ugh english sucks for me too. idk why you think i’m good at it

you almost jumped at the gesture to reply. it was never this long that he would go without text you at least one dumb thing.

haha it’s okay don’t be sorry! so i guess last night went well?

also ur great at english sugar-wara what r u talking about??

it surprised you how quickly they seemed to become so friendly. it was kinda weird that he would already be spending a lot of time with her and now meeting all her friends. he probably already knew of them though, with volleyball and everything. the thoughts of how long you would have to wait for a reply crept in your mind, but that was quickly erased by an elapsed period of only a few minutes.

yeah it went great! they had never had someone cook for them before, so they really liked it. this morning they told me they’d show me how to make fried eggs bc i said i dont know how to use a stove lol

wait you made a whole meal for this person and u don’t know how to use the stove??

i used a crockpot and microwave ok :// don’t make fun of me dingus

well a stove would definitely broaden ur horizons lmao that’s nice it went well though

thank you i hope its going well

that conversation was truly the end of the beginning.

Every day after that seemed to happen the same way. you’d wake up, no text from suga. he hadn’t even replied to what you last said the previous night. you didn’t see him much either, but you knew who he was with probably. you would still stop by at volleyball practice where you did get to see him but they were there also. so you found yourself dipping out a lot more.

it just felt weird. seeing him talk to someone he didn’t even know before. they didn’t even know him. even when you two were on the team together, they never once showed much interest in him and now it just seemed strange that they would.

the transition was particularly difficult for you, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. one night you were so overwhelmed with work because you had waited too long to do it. frantically texting suga was an understatement.

you knew you couldn’t put all your reliance on him but it was weird that he wasn’t replying on a school night as he was just as much a procrastinator as you. you dragged yourself through the night, trying to put together a somewhat coherent speech for english the next day. which, again, started as it had for the past few weeks. you still hadn’t heard from him, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. by the time he replied, it was almost embarrassing on your part.

oh my god y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t reply sooner. i tried to get all my work done early so i could hang out with rei last night and i was asking my mom for advice and she told me to just pay attention to them as much as possible so i just wanted to be with them, you know? but i really hope you didn’t beat yourself up too much about it and that you got at least a little sleep. i’m sure your speech went well :)

you sounded desperate for his help and meanwhile, he’s genuinely trying to show someone how much they mean to him. could you look any more stupid?

you didn’t even want to reply but you felt like you had to.

no don’t be sorry koshi! if anything i’m sorry i was just super frustrated in the moment and didn’t know what to do. i managed to pull something halfway decent together i think so it’s all okay now

was it okay though?

that was when you realized that things would never be the same. you’re his best friend and that’s simply it. you mean something to him, but not the same something that they mean to him. you couldn’t go to him when you help because then you’d be taking his time away from someone who wanted to feel that special meaning. it was a hard pill to swallow, for sure. but there were still several questions that lingered in the potential of what your relationship could be.

isn’t it possible to be both a best friend and a partner at the same time? you didn’t see any problem with it, so why couldn’t it be true?

two weeks past and suga, your best friend, decided to let you in on some news.

going up against all these powerhouse schools is definitely tough but it’ll help our team in the long run. we’re really amped to play seijoh soon but also i have an s/o now who can come and cheer us on

WAIT you guys made it official?? when?

haha we’ve been official for like two weeks now

oh well that’s great!

(what the actual hell.)

months went by and you saw suga maybe two or three times. and only saw him, usually with the rest of the volleyball team or with rei and their friends. you texted now and then but it wasn’t the same. you had to accept that it wouldn’t be the same, so you did. you had a good group of friends who you spent more of your time with, as well as trying to focus as much as possible on school. entrance exams were coming up and you couldn’t let this be your downfall, even though you and suga had previously talked about possibly going to the same college together. but that wasn’t important anymore.

you had your priorities and suga had his.

which was the biggest reason why you decided not to go to the game against aoba johsai. you told him that you would try to make it, if schoolwork and college prep courses would lend you the chance. you were just trying to focus on yourself and work hard in on your own. you still texted him just to show that you still cared.

sorry i couldn’t make it to the game! how did it go?

we lost :’(( we were so close too

oh no :( i’m sorry kou. but i know you guys will get them next time!

he never replied, which only made you want to grow further from him.

summer vacation rolled around and it was about a month out from suga’s birthday. a strange text appeared from someone you didn’t expect.

Hey so I wanted to get manga for suga for his bday but I cannot for the life of me remember which ones he has so can you try to casually ask him which ones he has? like the next time you guys talk about manga or something?

you felt weird that they were asking for your help, considering that they now spent more time with him than you did. but you weren’t going to completely ignore them either.

to be honest we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i’ll try to subtly ask him

Okay awesome thanks!

what were you thinking of getting him?

Deathnote lol nothing original

hmm maybe the new aot volume?

Yeah, that’s a good one. Or maybe BNHA

yeah that too! do you still want me to ask him?

Yeah could you?

yeah sure!

Yay thanks!

okay i’ll let you know what i find out

going through with this was even worse. if it were you, you’d take him to see his favorite artist in concert. he wasn’t never much of a concert guy but he would talk about how badly he wanted to go see them live. or a more lowkey and personal option would be to customize a crewneck for him. you had a knack for designing and decorating plain-looking clothes and he would try to do it himself but would always remark how much better yours always turned out.

but this time you’re simply the messenger and wouldn’t get that chance to get him something you know he’d love. not that he wouldn’t like manga, but it just seemed like they weren’t putting a ton of thought into it. maybe you couldn’t blame them though, it had only been a few months that they had been dating.

that conversation honestly seemed more out-of-the-blue than anything, but you were hoping that suga would be as oblivious as ever. it didn’t even matter in the end because he never even answered your subtle way of asking. you didn’t feel like double texting because a.) you hadn’t done that in months and b.) it seemed too obvious.

in the end, you did all that you could do and told rei that you had no information to provide, even after a week had passed. that was your, now monthly, interaction with suga that month.

but it wasn’t like you weren’t thinking about him.

your interactions moved from text to strictly snapchat, where you would hold streaks for considerable amounts of time. but every time you seemed to break contact with him, you found yourself blaming them. but you couldn’t blame them. they were with him, dating him. they had a right to claim a spot by his side. you had learned to pull back and just live your life.

but life didn’t want you to have a great time either. albeit through a simple app like snapchat, he was the one asking you if you were okay. at this point, you would probably just deflect but somehow, you found yourself telling him about how you didn’t do so well on your entrance exams, despite having done what you could to prepare for them. you just thought you were so focused to do well, but maybe it was too much focus. you told him it would be alright. another notification came through.

snapchat from sugar wara

you opened it to a selfie of him, one that was angled upwards to position him looking right up into the camera, his wide hazel eyes being the centerpiece of the photo. the caption simply said, “promise?”

and that was when it happened. you felt something different in your heart like it was knocked around in your chest. you smiled at the simple response and replied, “yeah i promise!!”

it felt strange, but you finally admitted it,

you were in love with koshi sugawara.

timing was, without a doubt, a demise in all of your previous relationship endeavors. you could never seem to get that part right, also coming in too fast or not knowing if you should wait. you had only hoped that someone you liked would like you just as much. so catching feelings for someone, strong feelings at that, was not part of your current life plans. let alone with suga, someone you were, at one point, extremely close to.

you know so much about him and what scared you was that your confession would be the only one that could mess up whatever relationship you had left with him. why couldn’t you just enjoy where you stood with him? why should your selfish feeling have to get in the way?

stupid was an understatement as you how you felt. he was still dating rei, and that didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. you didn’t know what to do or how to cope. you can fight your feelings, but they can’t change right away. and for as long as you’ve known suga, the history you’ve shared with him, it seemed like these feelings weren’t leaving anytime soon.

you spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything out, while simultaneously trying to forget. you vented about it to your friends and while most of them offered advice, you stuck with just remaining stagnant. one of them suggested that you confess to him but that was what you feared most: that your feeling would become so overwhelming that you had to do something impulsive to relieve them. he would probably never talk to you again. there was nothing you could do. he was in a relationship with someone he really likes. why would you try to ruin that for him?

you didn’t go to any of the preliminaries, mostly because of prep courses and trying to prepare for the next round of entrance exams. you still kept up with suga and saw that they won in the game against seijoh and we now going to the finals against shiratorizawa. you swiped up on his story and typed a simple, “omg that's amazing!! see I knew you guys could do it.” you continue to scroll through your phone, not thinking that much about it until a notification popped up.

sugar wara is typing…

snapchat from sugar wara

yeah it was great! Wish you could have been here though :(

me too! college prep courses seem to have been taking up all my time :P

is there any chance that you could try to find time to come to finals?

we've been trying to get all the support that we can

plus it would be nice to see a familiar face there :)

yeah i'll see what i can do to try to be there!

wymd a familiar face? hasn't rei been going to the prelims?

they have been but we actually broke up about two weeks ago

i sort of initiated it but i promise it's okay

your eyes almost fell out of your head when you read that 2 weeks ago you were talking about how you were in love with him and were and decided to accept that it wasn't going to happen. now you're hearing that at the same time they had broken up? It seemed odd and... bittersweet.

oh no i'm sorry kou :(

you bit your lip as you couldn't help but ask.

wdym you initiated it tho?

so kageyama has been killing it as our setter especially with his quick attack move with hinata

rei was worried that i wasn't being treated fairly bc i'm a senior and vice-captain and all that. i tried to reassure them that i just want to see our team thrive and go to nationals but they still were worried about it and would talk about how they would go to games and never see me play once

it's been hard especially that it happened right before the seijoh game and now before finals

yeah i'm sure it's been difficult

but don't beat yourself don't blame yourself so much! the team needs your support just as much as it needs players. nobody could replace that :)

thanks y/n :) i appreciate you so much

although you thought you would be happy, you can’t help but still feel weird about this whole thing. you felt like the ball was in your court but your bum arm couldn’t receive it properly. your feelings for him had been strong and you felt like you had to pack them all the way so now it just felt wrong to let them flow out again. but now that there was no conflict of interest, did you have to hide your feelings?

it was more complicated than it was before. you didn't know how anything was going to play out at all and that kinda scared you. you did know one thing though, and that was how to be a loyal friend to suga because that's all you ever were from the start and that's what you could and would be for the future.

it was the friday before the finals game.

you decided to stay late after school to maximize your focus on studying. it seemed to have worked because the sun was going down before you knew it. you wanted to get ahead on work so you could go to the game tomorrow. you and suga had been talking more recently and while it wasn’t as much as it used to be, it was more than it had been in the past several months.

you quickly gathered up your things and left school for the night. the pretty orange and pink sky lit your way home through the quiet town and into the residential parts. at that point, the dark had met and light and-

“y/n! hey, wait!”

you turned to see none other than suga, jogging up behind you to catch up. you smiled at his sudden presence, looking past him to see the small group of the rest of the team.

“hey! funny seeing you here.”

“yeah, haha,” he chuckled, catching his breath from suddenly running a considerable distance. “are you going home?”

“yeah.”

“can i walk with you?”

“of course.”

great! so i’m guessing you stayed late at school? you’re still wearing your uniform.”

“oh, yeah,” you affirmed, looking down at your monotonous outfit. “i just wanted to be all caught up on work and studying so i could go to the game tomorrow.”

“oh, yeah? that’s good to hear! yeah, we were-- we just had a late practice. coach left before us but we wanted to stay a little longer.”

“i hope you guys win tomorrow, it seems like you’ve been working really hard.”

“yeah, i hope so too. we’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time, it just feels like we can’t stop now.”

you nodded in agreement. there was a beat of silence just then, and while it wasn’t awkward, it felt like something was lingering in the air.

“so, um,” he spoke up after several seconds. his eyes met yours and you felt that pang in your chest again, quickly looking away. “it’s been a while, huh?”

“yeah. yeah, it has, i guess,” you laughed lightly. you reached the intersection with the never-ending blinking stoplight and you turned around to face him.

“but i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“yeah. yeah!”

“okay, get some sleep. goodnight.”

he nodded and you grinned at him before turning around to walk the rest of the way home until his voice stopped you again.

“hey, y/n?”

“yeah, kou?”

he looked down and all around, anywhere but your face.

“i, um, i know things have been kinda weird between for a while but it’s made me realize that i missed you, a lot.”

“yeah, i missed you, too.”

“but it’s also made me realize that i enjoy spending time with you and talking to you. like, even now, just talking to you makes me feel-- i don’t know. it makes me feel at ease like i’m home. and i’d really like to spend more time with you because i, um, i really like you.”

“you, you what?”

“i really like you, sugar.”

in all the ways you had imagined this happening, you never thought that you would feel your face fall to a frown, your heart beating in your ears. something just didn’t sit right with you about it.

“i, i, i don’t know what to say...”

“it’s okay if you don’t! i just wanted to tell you.”

“but why are you telling me this now?”

“do you-- do you not feel the same?”

“no. no! i’ve been wanting to hear you say something like that for so long, it’s just. you broke up with rei not too long ago and-- i don’t know. something isn’t right about it.” you shook your head, unsure of what you were trying to say.

“it’s how i feel,” he shrugged. “i just wanted to tell you and have a good feeling to hold onto to make tomorrow a little easier.”

you looked at him in disbelief.

“oh, so you think you can confess all that to me right before this big game and that i’ll automatically reciprocate those feelings when you just broke up with someone not even a month ago? i’m not a second choice--”

“no, sugar, listen, that’s not how i meant it at all--”

“no sugawara.” those words made him go quiet instantly. you never used his full name, there was always some sort of play on it, so this was serious.

“maybe that’s not how you meant it, but that’s how i’m taking it. i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how i felt but i wanted to respect your feelings so i didn’t. so please, respect mine. i’m not the good luck charm that you can just confess to and expect that it’ll all be okay. this just isn’t right. i’m sorry, koshi.

your voice broke as his name left your lips, tears beginning to fall. you didn’t even give him a chance to respond, a rush of adrenaline telling you to quickly turn and get out of there.

you didn’t get much sleep that night.

it was hard not to think about your conflicted feelings over suga’s confession. you had hoped for that moment for a long time but the timing simply wasn’t right. how funny and ironic is that? you thought your timing was off. maybe you were meant for each other in that way. you couldn’t help but let your feelings get the best of you and you were beginning to become what you feared most from him. you thought he would immediately reject you and make you feel bad about ever saying anything about how you felt. but the roles are reversed and that was the part that blindsided you the most.

you didn’t think that how you reacted was wrong but you also couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. he just wanted to feel good right before a big game but that backfired right in his face. some might call it karma, but part of you thought he didn’t deserve it.

the pressure was setting in as the game went into the fifth and final set. what made it worse was kageyama wouldn’t be starting that set, his nose bleeding from the spike he took to the face. suga was genuinely thrilled to be a teacher, a mentor, and a support system for his fellow teammates. he didn’t mind that another, rather talented, setter had joined the team because that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about passing the position over to someone who he thought didn’t deserve it.

he almost forgot he was actually a player on the team when everyone looked to him to fill in. this was his moment and it just happened to be at the most overwhelming part of this game. Both teams were tired while simultaneously running on pure adrenaline to see who was going to come out on top.

suga had an opportunity, not only to start the set but be the trailblazer for their success.

the nerves set in as he held up the paddle with the number nine on it, kageyama holding it up with him for a moment. It was symbolic in a way. suga always thought he’d be passing the baton to him, his successor as karasuno’s official setter, but this felt just as sentimental. Suga hadn’t played much this season but he got to watch the team grow into something that it once was: something great. They’ve had their share of loss and strife but it finally seemed like they had come so far and the only direction they can go is up.

the nerves set in as he looked around, anywhere to ease them. His eyes automatically went to the team banner, black with the simple word ‘fly’ written over it, where all the school and their supporters were watching. he went down the line quickly but the wave of a hand caught his eye. his eyes shifted back and felt that familiar grin on him.

it was you.

“c’mon suga! You can do it!”

and so he did.

once the final ball hit the ground, the room was quiet with shock. it had been tight for most of the game but no one really expected this outcome. they were going to nationals. daichi, suga, and asahi embraced, taking in the satisfying feeling of victory.

after the awards ceremony, you were buzzing with excitement for them, trying to calmly follow the rest of the crowd out of the gym. you could tell they were somewhere along the hallway as another crowd formed to congratulate the winning team. you weaved in and out of it, even getting on your toes to see if you could spot a familiar head of gray hair.

you finally caught a glance at him from afar, his smile growing as his eyes locked onto yours.

“y/n!”

you mimicked his expression and found your feet moving quicker than your brain could process. he put in the same amount of haste to meet you in the middle. you both stopped at about an arm’s length away from each other. his flushed cheeks and slightly red but glistening eyes held your smile as you decided to speak first.

“hey, kou.”

“hey, sugar.”

another minute couldn’t be wasted as you finally crashed into one another. it felt better to hold somebody that you knew and genuinely loved. you could be sure that he felt the same way as he held your body tightly against him.

heyo haikyuu night! send any requests right here..

#haikyuu x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara oneshot #sugawara fluff #sugawara angst #tommybaholland

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luffysbasement · 3 years

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didn't realize my last one was that long. Geez (this one is also fucking long, bare with me)

I feel like ever since elementary, all our teachers liked to talk about how the opposite of love isn't hate (there was even a text during 6th? grade about this whole thing.)

Tbh I haven't looked much into lore so I only know the gist of it(I'm such shit, but I know I will have literally no time to study if I get invested in the dsmp) so there may be wild guesses here and there down below.

The way Quackity's expressions ranged from stoic to a weirdly kind smile to aggressively scary and ruthless, it's all just so.. *gestures wildly with hands because I have no words* ..angsty. The grip on Dream's hair like he wants him to listen carefully but he is losing all patience and sanity and sympathy for Dream. The crazed look from Quackity(his last block) is just so cold and bitter and kind of filled with self-pity, like he's been there before (I actually don't know if that's the case lmao) it's the look from textbook villians(I know he's not one) when they become insane and starts spilling all that they know in the most poisonous way possible.

Also, again, last block giving me chills. Sapnap's glare and George just walking away with absolutely no care and no desire to turn around sums it up beautifully. Good work, really really beautiful.

-✗

putting this on read more bc i will be ranting LMAO. buckle in, this will be long.

thank you!! :] i absolutely love seeing people see how i organized the colors and panels to be the way they are. and the expressions as well, i had fun making those!

i really like this one bc its short but it goes pretty deep into the lore. i had to think about the flow of the panels and the colors and poses of the comic since its only 3 pages and i dont have much to tell the message aside from those things asgssdfgh

i originally saw the concept (opposite of love isnt hate) from a tiktok HAHAH i dont think weve ever tackled that in literature or anywhere at school unfortunately :(( im a big fan of metaphorical/poetic statements too. tho its technically logical, but weve been so used to hate being described as the opposite of love that its just mind-boggling for me to hear that lol

i actually understand you lol im currently done with school at the present moment but a few months ago i barely even posted, even more drawn anything bc i was so busy with school. since youre still not done, good luck with that!!

but oh lord am i a hoe (a WH**E) for lore.

ive thought of this for a long time now but i just had to urge to get to drawing it when my twt tl starting going deep into c!dream's lore.

i just ABSOLUTELY love lore revolving around the dt. (maybe because im more attached to them whoops)

its just so fascinating to think about. (everything onwards is /rp and /character) also, you said youre not that caught up with lore so if you dont get these things or dont wanna bother/get spoiled, you can just ignore it lol i just really needed to rant about his character thats all, needed to get it off my chest phew

dream from the start had a plan: make everyone on the server hate him and build a prison for someone so strong it'll be needed. for me there is no way he was talking about tommy or techno then. no way.

he definitely had a fall to corruption. what he did with tommy during exile, that one is inexcusable ofc but the other things??? destroying the community house, siding with techno during his arrest, even destroying a whole ass country (this one might just be him reaching his limit against lmanberg, being the first and basically only country to defy him sm and stuff)

its weird and interesting in a way. what he did, the destruction, telling everyone he has no more attachments, not even sapnap and george, putting george on the throne then dethroning him not long after-- all these things just seems like it's part of his plan you know???

but like, what for? why? what does he want? earlier in the smp, he just wanted to build a home for them, one that will grow and be beautiful (theres a certain tiktok edit of this one, i am going to cry) he was such a good guy in the earlier days, he just wanted to take care of the server and take on the responsibilities expected of him but it just all... fell?

but even then, from the start, i cant help but think that he was already alone. sure, he had sapnap and george and the others but after everything: after sapnap was so quick to jump on tommy's side after ONE thing that dream said in the heat of the moment to threaten tommy (the 'i dont care about anything' bit), not trying to clear it up with dream and with george being so quick to side with other people's statement (dream dethroned him bc he hates him, etc) than dream's own (to protect george), its just so sad. not to mention even before everything, those two formed new nations without dream before; while dream was fighting for his own alone, they didn't really care enough. they did this again, with kinoko kingdom but tbf, the destruction of the community house felt like the end of the greater dream smp.

its just... sad and tragic, his whole character. his life is like the joker, baby. BAHAHAHA

anywaaaays

sorry about that, the c!dream apologist in me needed to breathe

glad you think its beautiful hehe <3

#asks #dreblr #imagine fighting for a country you built with your friends for you guys to call home #by yourself #with no one else to care #then falling to madness and corruption #getting painted the villain by everyone #even by your best friends to the point that one of them always assumes if its something destroyed youre to blame #then tortured #for 6 months #then getting told by said best friend that if you escape prison escape torture #he'll kill you #man #also imagine your boyfriend never fucking visits AAHAHAHAHAH #then your semi rival semi colleague is the only one left who views you as a person #IM CRYING SKJFABWKFJBKWEBF FUCK

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glitt3r-litt3r · 2 years

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hey girly pop!!!! if u dont have the time i totally get it like dw. but could u write a finnick x reader and she's from district 4 and she's doing the interview with ceasar for catching fire and he's like asking the questions and like you know the sound on tiktok where its like "everybody's a killer if you push them far enough" and finnick is like OMFG thats my gurlllllll ;P and like whatever else u want. again np if you can't write it but like my grandpas uncles neighbors cousins cats sisters owners brother in law just died so things r kinda hard for me rn thx booooo

Lol I love this idea and yes I know this audio. I'm pairing Finnick with an OC probably because it might be more fun. Her name is Calypso (for the sea) Brekaar.

Pairing: Finnkick x OC

Summary: Mags name was a called at the reaping and OC volunteered for her. Now she sits with Caesar Flickerman discussing far to many personal details in a hideous dress.

Third Person P.O.V ( Calypso focus at first)

The lights were far brighter than she remembered. For a second she couldn't remember why she hated these lights and then it set her on fire. The thoughts of her desert arena made her itch subconsciously at her back where there were still scars from the burns. Then again most of her first games have been blocked from her mind for a long time. Sure, she suffers the occasional nightmare or horrible soul sucking day where she can do nothing more than sob on the bathroom floor. But hey who doesn't have bad days, I could be worse off. Her ability to forget had been her savior all these years, remembering would only cause more suffering. Only now does she realize that pushing away these memories may be her undoing. The lights on stage remind her of the hot white sun of her games. It's her own fault really, she knew it would catch up with her eventually but she wasn't one to dwell on anything.

" So, tell me Calypso, what have you been doing all this time? Staying out of the sun I hope?" He says with a hearty laugh. Bastard. When she was crowned victor in her games they had found sun blisters so sever she needed to be hospitalized. Her pale complexion was under personal attack the moment she stepped off that pedestal. And now here they were, laughing at her. With an almost painful smile trying to match his she says

" I've been well. Swimming mostly, indoors. Tell me have you been lounging all day in the sun or is this tan from one of those boxes that give people cancer?" She chides. For a second a mere glimpse of anger passes through his eyes and she smirks. But before he explodes he begins howling with the crowd, ever the composed host. " Oh you never lose your edge do you dear. Speaking of edge, do you think there's anything that gives you one for these games?" He asks in a more serious tone. His mind is back on track now and the audience quiets down to hear her response. She'll never be used to the amount of interest they all seem to have with her.

" I think having won before means that I could ready to kill at a moments notice once I'm in there again. It's a very serious thing to take a life but I will" Her voice doesn't even sound like her and her eyes stare straight ahead.

"woah such malice in your voice Calypso. I hope we here at the Capitol haven't pushed you too far. Right folks?" He pauses and let's them react. The synchronized murmur of agreement is heard. She knows he doesn't actually care about pushing her too far. He welcomes it actually, that kind of manic breaking point because then he'll have some drama. He can feed the hungry beasts off her fear and turmoil. This makes her think of Finnick. The way they fed off his beauty and devoured his body for all to see; there's no way he's not listening now. She sees 13 year old Finnick so playful and golden swimming with her. Teaching her how to be quick like him, how to be agile and strong. She used to want nothing more than to be just like him. He was beautiful, the kind of beauty that almost looks unreal. But his true gift was his strength. He was undoubtedly the strongest person she knew. The cost of that was cause to almost everyone in the Capitol. They were greedy children and touched him with blood sticky hands and now he would never be the same. Strong still sure, but always lacking the radiance you only have at 13. She feels the rage returning, the bright lights and her uncomfortable outfit. Everything was touching her, catching up to her now on stage.

" Well," she's rigid now, almost stoic, " everybody's a killer if you push them far enough." Looking directly into Caesars eyes and then to the crowd. Her smile is so big now she's sure she looks crazy. They should feel uncomfortable, showing me off up here like some first of the season catch. She doesn't wait to see his or their reaction before walking off the stage. The lights are too bright, I can't fucking breathe. Slow and steady, in and out.

When he sees her flee from the stage on the screen he's watching he walks over to the door. He has see her flushed face and how the dress she's wearing fits perfectly despite her hating it. There's my girl. She hears him before she sees him but even that is enough to bring her back from inside her head.

" there she is, the Capitols favorite little killer" He's smiling but it doesn't reach his eyes. They search hers for any tears but is met with something he doesn't see much of, anger. She's of course been angry around him before but she usually wipes any remains of it from her eyes before looking at him.

" You know I could never replace you as their favorite child star" she breathes. Finding his body is as simple as breathing to her and she melts into his chest. This is what she signed up for, she should've gaged this reaction from a mile away. Even now, they can sill get a rise out her in a few questions. Luckily Finnick knows her better than anyone else. She's happy to have these moments with him especially because soon one of both of them will be dead. A sick parts of her hopes it's herself, an even worse part hopes it's both of them. She wants all of it to be over, for good. If dying is the only way to free him from this pain then so be it, but she's coming with. He see's her begin to furrow a brow and presses his finger on her head to smooth the wrinkles.

" Don't worry your little head Soso, I'm not going anywhere just yet" The nickname its sufficient enough to pull her back to him in an instant. He places a small kiss where his finger was. A small blush rises to her cheeks once again, she welcomes the flirting more than the anger. As long as he's here, she will always welcome the light before the dark. He was the brightest sun in her universe. The only sun that didn't make her blistering past come forward and engulf her skin again. No, Finnick was bright in all the right ways.

#finnick odair #finnick x OC #the hunger games #catching fire

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nerdygirl8203 · 3 years

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Old Money, New Feelings- Chapter 8

Warnings: angst, this is set a few months after chapter 7, drinking, sleeping around, mentions of smut

This chapter includes One More Drink by Gjan

Summary: the reader (y/n) finds out what this has been and why Ransom was being so nice to you.

Pairing: Ransom x fem!reader

(Sorry, I couldn’t add a continue reading since I’m writing this on my phone)

For months Ransom has been so sweet and kind. It’s like he looked in the mirror and saw his flaws. He is caring and shows his emotions more. Everything is great. Well, everything was great. Past tense.

I ran upstairs knowing his office is upstairs and I thought he would be excited to see me. I come into his office where I knew he would be since he’s always there when he and I aren’t together. I hear moaning. Female moaning.

“What about that girl? The one you’re always with.” The girls voice says. It’s muffled due to the door between us.

“She’s just some nice arm candy and a decent hole to fill.” Ransom’s voice rings clear even through the door. I back up stumbling a little. I hope he doesn’t hear me as I run down the stairs failing to hold in tears. I run to my car and that’s when I realized he did hear me.

I get in my car and I shut and lock my doors quickly. I try to stop crying before I drive. I don’t want to be in danger of crashing my car or hurting anyone. I see him run out in just some sweatpants. I turn on my car as he runs to my car door and starts screaming “Y/N open your door!” I look at him and I scream back “Back up. I don’t want to run you over while trying to get away but I will!” I need to get out and far away. God it hurts. I was an idiot for falling for this dick.

He doesn’t back up but I scare him by doing something he didn’t think I would. I start backing up my car and he moves away quickly. I drive off no longer caring.

I can’t go back to the stupid apartment that douche got me. I call my best friend over the car phone. I told her about this from the beginning and she even thought he changed from the playboy he was. I sob as I ask if I can stay with her till I find a new place that won’t have traces of him everywhere. She would never say no and she tells me that.

I’m at her place less than 30 minutes later. She holds me while I sob out and tell her what happened. After a week of blocking his calls and making sure my find my friend is off so he can’t find me. After one particular night of drinking my pain away she and I come up with an amazing idea to make him jealous.

In the last few months I wrote and released a song that blew up on Tiktok. I’ve written and sang a lot of songs now and Ransom hated it. He always did. My followers have skyrocketed on everything which would mean that Ransom would be watching anything I post like a hawk. He can’t have me saying anything wrong or even remotely bad about him.

We decide to have me sing One More Drink. As I sang to the music I feel the pain of everything wash over me. I end the song with me burning a cute letter he wrote to me. It’s just bullshit anyways. It all is. Every stupid word he uttered.

“I found out today that he’s a liar. Room full of him the smell of sorrow!” I still remember what it was like when he held me. I felt safe. “I don’t want to know if she’s like me. Or how much she loves the way you speak!” He had texted me trying to explain. “I found out today that you’re a liar, ah.” It brings me back to that day. “And I say I got stuck into you and I can’t believe it, oh, I’m on fire.” I’m an idiot. “Friends told me what to do. But I don’t believe it, oh, I’m on fire.”

I get into it feeling the pain and anger come over me “Ah, ah, one more drink tonight!” I repeat that with emotion three more times then follow it with a tonight. “Both said we’ll build our own empire, ah.” Lies. He lied about what he wanted. “How dare you say you didn’t try? Oh.” I keep singing

“It wasn’t like that. It just happened!” I could hear him saying it.

“I woke up at 4 stuck in a loop. I gotta confess it’s not my room.” I knew that would kill him. I hope it does. I hope he feels half of my pain. “You once said we’ll build our own empire. Ah.” I then keep singing and I end up finishing the song. I burn the letter hoping it would help me feel better.

We stop filming and I fall to the ground sobbing. My best friend edits it and post it for me. I can’t. I can’t keep thinking about him.

It’s another week till I even go out of my friends house. I just need to see life again. See things other than my pain and ransom. I go to the coffee shop but I quickly leave after seeing the cute couples who seem to be rubbing their happiness in my face.

I go to the bookstore I love. The place that makes me feel content and at peace. I stay in the back reading a horror story. I can’t help but understand why the girlfriend killed her cheating boyfriend. Though, I guess he wasn’t my boyfriend. I’m such and idiot.

I don’t even notice how late it’s gotten until one of the employees comes over to me to tell me they are closing. “I’m sorry ma’am but we are closing.” I look up at her. “Thank you. I’m so sorry for staying so late!” I get up quickly and since I already bought the book I leave immediately. I keep walking until I see a familiar car.

‘No. It can’t be him. It wouldn’t be him. Why would he even come this way. This is a crappy area in his words.’ I keep walking at my normal pace after haven slowed for a moment. I keep walking just wanting to lay down in a bed and sleep away that pain I feel deep in my chest.

“Y/N.” I hear a familiar voice say. It can’t be him. I’m going crazy. I keep my walking feeling my heart pounding. Part of me wants it to be him but it won’t be. It can’t be.

I believe that until I feel what is undeniably Ransom’s hand grabbing my wrist. I whip around and I glare at him “Hello Hugh.” I say coldly.

“Dont do that sweet heart. Please don’t do that. I understand you hating me or being pissed but don’t do that.” His face is softer than expected and his voice is sweet and calm.

“Don’t do what? I just said hello Hugh. I thought I was being polite. Isn’t Hugh your name?” I glare pissed. “I get why you’re mad but please listen to me. I just... I need to talk to you.” His eyes are red.

Maybe that’s why I said we could talk. Maybe it was his puffy eyes or how you could see how pained he is in his face. I hate what he did but I still don’t hate him. I can’t hate him no matter how much I’ve tried. “Come with me, we can go somewhere more private.” He says softly. I let him show me the way to a small cafe with no one in it, he undoubtedly rented it so no one would be here. I can’t help but hate that it makes me feel special, I want it to make my blood boil. I don’t want to feel especially loved when he does this. I want to be mad at how cocky he was to just assume I’d come with him. I walk in and he holds the door for me, I have to stop myself from saying thank you to him. I don’t want to be nice to him at all. I want him to be mad. I walk to the booth that is in the corner and I sit down. I sigh softly and when he tries to hold my hand I move it away even though I long to hold his hand.

“Listen, I didn’t want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you.” He says then I scoff “Bull shit! You fucked a girl when you were pretending to care about me. I should have known better. I should have known you were just messing with me to get what you wanted.” I huff. “She was just some girl from a bar I went to when you said you couldn’t come over.” “I had work! You know, the thing people do when they need money! Oh wait, no you don’t know that, everything you’ve ever wanted was handed to you on a silver platter.” I spit word venom at him angrily. “That’s not true! I worked to keep you didn’t I?” My jaw actually drops. How in gods name could he do that to me and then say he worked for it! “Bull shit! I’m just a hole that you used to wet your cock. “You know what, just fuck off. You and I would never work anyways. Maybe when you grow up like a big boy and get a real job I’ll reconsider your bull!” I scream at him and I get up off the seat quickly. I leave the cafe not looking back no matter how desperate he sounded.

#ransom drysdale #knives out #love #ransom thrombey imagine #ransom thrombrey #ransom x you #chris evans #ransom x reader #ransom x y/n #angst #ransom thrombey x you #to be continued

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pomegraniteseeds · 4 years

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An essay to witchtok !

🌻 To begin if you dont read anything other then this thats fine! Theyll be a tldr at the end however. I've noticed a lot of people getting information directly off of witchtok these days and I really want to clearly state this is NOT a reliable source for your worship or craft. I do not care how experienced these people are, say they are, or present. PLEASE double check anything and everything you hear from unreliable resources!!! 🌻

On Baby Witches

Witchtok is one of the most downgrading and negative places I’ve EVER seen! If your a baby witch, while yeah theirs some great people on there, I honestly advise trying to stay away from a majority of witchtok.

Witchtok, baby witches are not dumb. Baby worshipers are not dumb. While i understand many of these videos come from a place of concern, witches and worshipers are going to make mistakes if you yell at them or not. If you’d like to actually help learners, try offering more ideas other then grounding and research, as anyone serious about the craft are learning and doing these things already.

Making fun of baby witches, ESPECIALLY ACTUAL CHILDREN, is disgusting. Even if their mistake or misconception was so wrong or funny to you, keep it to yourself. Doing these things discourages people, makes us look like an unaccepting community, and just breeds more negativity overall. Its disgusting. Like, stop making fun of 12 year olds. There learning.

Beginners, its okay to make mistakes. Its okay to ask questions even if their redundant. PLEASE ask questions! Were here to learn together and even the most experience witch or worshiper still has so much to learn. Don’t let the discouraging attitude of a couple of tiktokers get you down. Making mistakes and learning from them is something we all do, and its okay.

On Deities

First off, witchtok is not the end all be all on deities. There are multiple branches to this religion and practice in general. Each religion experiences deities differently. I as a Hellenic polytheist have a personal relationship with my gods because that’s MY religion.

To Witchtok; when a someone says something similar to “my deity was hanging out with me.” you widely distort the meaning of this. Often, we mean we can feel their presences and pride for us. Relationships with deities vary from person to person, but just because mine is more personal then yours it does NOT mean some negative entity must be feeding off me.

What you have to understand is some of us worship just to worship. I rarely do spells, rarely ask for the gods help in my craft. However I leave offerings whenever I can and worship them whenever I can. I worship them and build a relationship with them because THATS why I’m here. I wanted a personal religion and experience, where I could love my gods and they would KNOW I loved them. My religion is not just because of my craft.

Also, gods can take care of themselves. They have NEVER taken kindly to impostors, and I highly doubt they are allowing these impostor to walk around so freely and care free as you claim they do. Gods are not one dimensional, and they are not just anger either. I’ve seen a LOT of horror stories with gods but, Gods are not there to hurt you. While they can have a temper and wrath, its rare even in myth those FULL tempers are taken on our worshipers. The gods are not dumb, they understand they make mistakes. While they may scorn you a bit, if they are trying to kill you.....you may have done something...very wrong.

To my beginner worshipers out there; Gods are not one dimensional. Horror stores on tiktok make the Gods out to be just wrath while stories on here can make them out to just be sunshine and rainbows. They are as complex as humans are. While they are beings above us, they have sides to there personalities just as we do. But just like us, they understand we make mistakes and forgive them. Just because you leave an offering for Aphrodite that she hates does not mean she’s going to punish you in the worst possible way in the world. While myths give us a sense of their wrath, wrath in myths is often done because something was so extreme the gods were disgusted by it! You aren’t going to make those mistakes. Normal mistakes are not going to result in the wrath and disappointment of your god. The gods are loving and understanding, and they are there to love and support you.

TLDR: Witchtok is not the end all be all on witchcraft, wicca, paganism...etc. Baby witches do NOT deserved to be made fun of. Relationships with deities vary from person to person, but overall they are there to love and support you. Continue to find your way and block out those negative one dimensional witches out there!

#witchblr #witchtok #hellenic polytheism #hellenic #hellenism #hellenic pagan #hellenic gods #hellenic worship #hellenic pantheon #witch #witchcraft #paganism #pagan

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ma-lark-ey · 4 years

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Nick Close had never been a very fantastic child. That much was very obvious. Granted, most of the dumb and illegal shit they did was for their fathers attention (however rarely that option actually worked), but it was still dumb and illegal shit.

Tonight was not one of those dumb and illegal nights, however; tonight was still a night Glenn Close could never find out about. Nick prayed he'd never find out about.

Nick had always been closed off from their father. How couldn't they be? When they were little, it was always Nick and Momma at home, while Daddy was on tour or doing shows. Glenn only started being home once in awhile when Mom died. And yes, Nick calls him Glenn. Glenn was never... He was never 'Dad.'

And this, this was certainly one of the things Nick kept tightly closed off from their father. That thing being one of the biggest secrets Nick may ever keep; their gender.

Nick didn't *mind* to be a 'he,' don't get them wrong. Some days, they really enjoyed being a 'he.' But today? Today... Nick was a she. And she couldn't deny that. Some days she felt so fucking confident in her body, like she could throw on a baggy t-shirt and slightly too-big pants with a beanie and fight god. Others, her body felt like someone else's and she wanted to rip her skin off and start over. Dress like those beautiful alternative women she saw on TikTok. With the demonias, fishnets, skirts, ripped up shirts, messy hair. God, some days she didn't know if she wanted to be them, or be with them.

Tonight, she definitely wanted to be them.

She had done up her makeup in the most extravagant way she knew how, eyeliner to the gods. Fishnets under a faux-leather, checkered print pencil skirt she found thrifting with Grant a few days ago. She had one a torn up old t-shirt she'd cut into a croptop and not to mention her Docs. She felt like she could fight god with her chain belts and dramatic jewelry.

Nick knows Glenn would never care if he knew his 'son' sometimes felt more like his daughter, but she wasn't ready to give him that kind of trust. Grant? Grant got that kind of trust. Henry got that kind of trust. The twins got that kind of trust. But not Glenn. Glenn hasn't proved he'd deserved that yet.

And maybe Nick didn't want to take the time to explain why Grant sometimes called her Nickie beyond "Its just a nickname, Glenn."

And she was okay with that. She knew that she wasn't ready. Maybe she'd never be 'ready,' and Glenn wasnt in her life enough for it to matter.

...

Why'd the front door just open? Why is Nick hearing a car lock? Why is the front door opening? Glenn's not supposed to be home from tour until tomorrow. And here Nick is, in the living room. Looking like a pretty well passing woman. She had learned plenty of tricks over her last two years of presenting feminine some days. The lanky, stickman build the had was the one thing Glenn had given to her that she was thankful for.

But the genetics of Glenn Close that were gifted to his child were not the problem at hand. The problem at hand is that *Glenn's home.*

Glenn's home. Glenn's home, and Nick is not in her Glenn Mode. She's vulnerable. Vulnerable to a lot of questions she doesn't want to answer tonight. Doesn't want to have to explain where all this women's clothing came from, nor why she's dressed as one. It can't pass as drag, but she's obviously not in drag makeup. Fuck. Fuck it all. Fuck her life and her shitty decision making skills. Fuck Glenn for never communicating his plans. And fuck the stunned way he's staring at her now.

The awkwardness of the room was palpable at this point. Nick felt like a deer in headlights. Nick felt like melting into the floor and disappearing from the world. Nick felt like her whole world was about to collapse in on itself. What if Glenn hated her, what if he didn't want her to act like this or be this person, what if-

"Well, don't you look nice. Got a date or something, kid?"

Thats... That's not what Glenn was supposed to say. That's not what he's supposed to say! He's supposed to be upset or revolted or-

"I- I uh..." No. No don't cry. Fuck. Why are you crying, Nicholas? Nicole? Fuck what even if your name right now?

Glenn's here. It should be Nicholas. That's your name when you're a boy. But its a girl day. You want to be Nicole today. Glenn is here, and you're Nicole right now. And Glenn is here. And you're Nicole. And Glenn-

She heard a bag drop on the ground and footsteps come toward her. She stepped back and tried hide behind her arms. No words. She can't speak.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

She remembers the time she went to school in feminine clothes and a couple of guys almost jumped her, before Lark pulled a knife on them and got them both suspended.

Hands grab onto her shoulders, a gentle hold. She can feel the calluses on Glenn's fingers from his guitar. When was the last time he held her?

Her knees feel like jello. She remembers when she started posting on her second TikTok, open about her gender and pronouns because she didn't have to keep up a cisgender face when her dad didn't have the account. And how transphobes sent her deaththreats until she blocked all those words from her comments and the DMs got disabled.

She's a few inches taller than Glenn in her platform Docs. Which she realizes when he pulls her into a gentle hug. She feels makeup running on her face. And she's crying. Why is she crying?

She remembers being ten years old standing at moms grave, standing next to Glenn. Just after the burial. It was the first time she'd seen him cry.

Her chin's on his shoulder now, his arms around her upper torso and holding her against him. She realizes she's shaking. That he's just holding her. He's holding her. Daddy's home.. He's giving her a hug...

She remembers the last time Glenn had hugged her. At Mom's funeral. She was sobbing at her grave, and so was Dad. He pulled her into him and held her so tight. So tight she thought he'd crush her. But he just held, like she was the entire world. Like if he let go he'd loose her to. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hid her face in the mix of long hair and his suit jacket. He felt like her whole world in that moment, too.

Nickie brings herself back to what's happening. Glenn's holding her, her arms are awkward resting on his back, He's clutching her by the shoulders. She remembers these hugs. The hugs that he used to give her every time he left and came home. The ones he gives where every second of it is embued with love. It felt like that now.

She could tell he loved her. But those words felt like lies in her head.

Lies. Lies. Lies. So many lies. So so many lies.

"I'll be home by nine, Nick." It was a lie, Glenn didn't come home for three more days. "I promise I'll be home on your birthday." He wasn't. "I'll be there." He wasn't. "I'll make it, promise." He didn't. Everytime. Everytime, where Glenn shouldve been, it was Mom. And when Mom died, it was Henry. Or Ron. Or Darryl.

But he's here. Right now. And he's holding her. It doesn't make it okay, it doesn't excuse it. But he's holding her. Her knees go weak, and she crumbles. He crumbles with her.

She sobs, he doesn't force her to say anything. She doesn't return his hug, he doesn't expect her to.

"You're supposed to be mad." Nick mumbled after she doesnt remember how long. Glenn gives a light chuckle and adjusts his grip on her.

"And why would I be?" He asked, not protesting as Nick shoved him off and shuffled back a few inches. It felt weird to be so close to him after sixteens years of so much distance.

"Why wouldn't you be?" She spat, crossing her arms and staring at the ground. "Nick's fucked up again. That's my whole brand! Being a total and absolute fuck up! The disappointment! The druggy, the- the... The mistake." She felt more hot tears behind her eyes. She could feel Glenn staring at her in concern.

"Nick, you are not a fuck up. Or a mistake. Or whatever else. Nick, you're my baby, and I-"

"Then why did you leave? If you're gonna pull that bullshit, and say you love me no matter what, and that I'm your little girl, and that- that you wanted me from the very beginning and wouldn't give me up, why did you leave? Why dont you care now? When you come home, and woopsie! Your son's dressed up like some goth chicken. Why are you acting like everythings fine!? Everything is NOT fine, Glenn!" She hit the floor with her hands and growled in frustration. It wasn't fine.

Glenn stared down and took a deep breath. Then he sighed. "Yeah, I can't blame you on that one, kiddo. Alright, full disclosure, Nick. I already- I knew. I knew about the pronouns, and the name. I knew. Henry told me."

"H- Henry... Did what?"

"He told me. Soon as you told him. He called me that night, let me know what you had said. We have a rule in our group, we've had the rules since Grant came out. If one of the kids comes out as anything, you tell the other dads. Especially if its a name and pronouns thing. Cause, we agreed that since well, we were all kind of one bug cluster fuck of parents to each others kids, it was better if everyone knew who was what. So we didn't fuck it up."

"So you have a rule to out kids to their parents? That's-"

"No! Not any kids. Its just you, Terry, Grant, and the twins. Just you five. Because, here's the thing, Nick- Nickie? Whatever. Us dads? We arent- we're new to the whole queer scene. Its not as normal for us to just fliparoo what pronouns and names we call people as it is for you guys. So, we would practice to each other. When you told Henry you liked being called Nickie, he came to us and essentially said, 'I'm gonna say Nickie to you guys as often as i fucking can do I don't end up deadnaming.' "

Glenn took Nick's hand into his and held it tight. Nick still felt like punching Henry in the fucking face for outting her to Glenn.

"You know that I love you, Nick." Her body went rigid at that. And she looked uo at him, glaring as hard as should mister with how fucking teary eyed she was.

"Do I? Do I know that you love me, Glenn?" And his face fell. It was like she just sucked his soul out of him. Good. That should be one hell of a wake up call.

"Nick, of course I love you. What would ever make you think I didn't love you?" Nick but her lip, thinking over her words before she said them. She thought on a lot of things.

"You left. My mom died, and you left. My *mother* was dead and you went back to touring in a matter of weeks. My mother was dead, and I was ten years old. And I was home, by myself, for weeks. Glenn, I was alone for months. Sure, there the nanny. But that wasn't Mom or Dad. I needed my parents. I needed my dad. I needed my dad to give me a hug, promise me it'd be okay. That we were okay. And he fucking left. He walked out that door, didn't come back for months, only called every three weeks. Missed birthdays, holidays, soccer games, and whatever the fuck else. Why on gods green earth would I think that you loved me when you fucking abandoned me, Glenn? Why? Would you think I loved you if I fucked off to god knows where after being home for just a couple days? Huh? If when I found out you'd been up in drug city with your mates and getting caught by cops doing a bunch of stupid shit, all you got was a slap on the wrist and a phonecall that last three minutes?"

Glenn stared at the ground for a long time. He didn't speak. And he pulled her back into a hug, practically dragged her across that distance to hold her again. Hold her like the whole world depended on Glenn never letting go again. Like if he let go everything would come crashing down, like Nick was the entire fucking world and he just wanted to protect her. He held her like he had when Mom died.

"God, Morgan... He's just like you." He mumbled, clutching Nick so tight she couldn't breath. She didn't care he used the wrong pronouns, she didn't care he'd barely even addressed the elephant in the room, she didn't care her heel was digging painfully into the back of her other leg. Her dad was here. He was holding her. He was making sure she knew he loved her. Dad finally came home.

Glenn let out a painful sob into Nick's shoulder, he said something. Nick thinks it was an apology, but between the sniffles and the hiccups and layers of clothing, its impossible to tell. Glenn pulled her up into his lap, held her like he would when she was five or six. Her head on his shoulder, his arms around her middle as he sat horizontal across his lap. Her legs were too long to curl up like they used to, so they sat awkwardly half-stretched across the floor. It was nostalgic in a way. It felt Glenn was just realizing how many years he'd wasted. How much time with his child he had lost.

"I'm sorry, Nick. Im- I didn't realize. I'm so fucking sorry, Nick." He was still crying. Crying more than Nick had ever seen him cry. She could hear the self-hatred and the regret in his voice. She reached an arm around his neck and pulled him that much closer.

"Just don't leave again... Please, Dad." Nick doesn't remember that last time she had called him 'Dad.' But, it felt right in that moment. It hasn't felt right in a long long time.

#this is a whole mess of angsty Close boys #genderfluid Nick is the only kind I will accept in my writing anymore #dndads #dungeons and daddies #Glenn is a shit dad but I will accept a redemption arc for him

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todobakudekukiridenkishinsosero · 3 years

Text

The car ride that changed everything :)

BTW THIS IS MY FIRST POV SO PLEASE TELL ME HOW I CAN MAKE IT BETTER!!!!

(Note this is aged up so the characters in this are 18+ and this is in my pov and if you don’t like it, then don’t read it and I also added a name so if you want me to do one with just y/n then ill do one)

Main Character: Cj

Age:18

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual (possibly gay)

Another main character: Katsuki Bakugo

Age: 19

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Bisexual (if not then gay)

Side characters: Kirishima, Sero, Denki and mina

it’s the start of summer and the bakusquad wanted to go somewhere so they all decided where they were headed too and they wanted to invite me since im always hang with them. Btw we live together so the bakusquad lives with me until everyone finishes school(college)

*goes to your room*

Mina: hey bestie!!

Cj: ah!- oh hi mina what do you need?

Mina: well….me and the bakusquad are going on a road trip and we want you to join and I think bakugo would like it the most

*Nudges you a bit*

Cj: eh? m-maybe …..

I’ve always had a crush on bakugo since we met at UA but i haven’t had the courage to tell him i liked him bc every person who tells him gets rejected and im afraid i’ll get rejected too.

Mina: Then it’s settled! We’re leaving this weekend since it’s Tuesday and everyone will have enough time to get ready!!

Cj: okay

Mina leaves my room and i go deep into thought about bakugo and mumbling things, making me flustered and red.

Cj: *mumbling*bakugo is...hot…

Suddenly i hear a knock at my door so i open it and to my surprise its katsuki

Cj: Kat? Oh, do you need anything???

Katsuki: just wondering if you’re going with us on the trip

Cj: oh..yeah I am! *smiles*

Katsuki: oh okay then goodnight

Cj: Night!

Bakugo POV:

Bakugo goes back to his room and locks his door and lays in his bed and starts thinking about me. Little did i know he liked me too.

Bakugo: Damnit! Why...I want him to be mines and no one else’s..ugh!

He goes into deep thought about how i could be his and forever <3

The next day(Wednesday)

Kirishima: *yawns* babe? You up

Denki: mm...5 more mintues kiri

kirishima:*chuckles* yeah okay * kisses his head*

Kirishima heads to the bathroom and takes a shower and does his hair and comes out and wakes Denki and he does the same thing.

Denki: let’s eat breakfast then wake the others up

Kirishima: yeah okay

Kirishima and Denki have been together since 2nd year at UA so this makes three years of being together, they go downstairs and sees me already up and dressed and eating.

Kirishima & denki: Hey Cj

Cj: oh hey guys *puts his plate in the sink*

Boys: so can you wake bakubro up while we wake the other love birds

Cj: no problem

i laughed at their comment about Mina and sero being together for 2 years, i knock on his door feeling that it’s locked so i yelled a bit.

Cj: hey bakugo time to get up we have planes with the sqau-

Before i could finish my sentence, bakugo opened the door up

Bakugo: I know dumbass...I was putting on my shoes and other things

Cj: oh okay then, Kiri and Denki went to go wake the love birds up

Bakugo: okay ima go eat breakfast now

Cj: okay

Bakugo and the others ate breakfast and they drove in my truck and blasted TikTok music and bakugo vibed with some while the windows are rolled down and everyone smiling and laughing with each other. We all arel going shopping for the road trip this weekend.

Cj: Hey guys ima pull over and get some gas

Others-expect bakugo: okay

Bakugo: I’ll help you with it

Cj: okay…(Odd he never does that)

After pumping the gas we head to the store and the girls go together and same with the guys. After everyone got what they needed me and bakugo went to the bathroom and came out and we drive back home.

The next day(Thursday)

Everyone is asleep while i were the only one up and it was around 12 in the afternoon, so i went and took a shower, did my face routine and did my hair, and put my shoes on.

To my surprise, after i went downstairs i see bakugo on the couch watching tv. So i speak.

Cj: Hey bakugo

You said with a smile

Bakugo: hey...Cj, where are you going?

Cj: oh well I was gonna go on a little walk then was gonna go back to the mall and walk around there-

Without missing a single beat bakugo said.

Bakugo: I’m coming with you and you have no say in this got it?

Cj: I- okay then…(is bakugo okay?? He’s being nice to me and it’s kinda cute and sweet)

Me and bakugo go outside and starts walking around the block then get in the car.

Bakugo: Hand me the keys I’m driving

Cj: okay

I hand him the keys and my phone hooks to the car blasting loudly ^E.T by Katy Perry^ and I turn the volume down,

Cj: I’m sorry heh I forgot to turn down the music from last night

Bakugo: Dumbass that’s loud as hell…

We arrive at the mall and get out and started walking around the mall.

Cj: So….

Bakugo: huh? What dumbass?

Cj: why did you come with me? It’s so..unlike you

Bakugo:(shit...) well you’re always getting lost so I came to make sure that you don’t get lost or do or even buy something stupid

Cj: oh...heh I guess so

Bakugo: So where are we heading to first?

Cj: Um hot topic…. Then spencers then the food court

Bakugo: okay then let’s get going dumbass

You guys go into hot topic and I see this black skirt and red top and gets it and some other clothes, snacks and etc.

Bakugo: That’s all your getting Cj?

Cj: Yes I am bc I wanna go to spencers before the food court

Bakugo: okay then

I pay and leave to go to spencers. Once I made it we went in.

Cj: oo this looks so cute!

I found some more clothes and looked around more while bakugo followed me around.

Bakugo: Oi dumbass what are you looking for?

Cj: nothing just looking around- (is that a sex toy??)

i go up to it and notices what it reminds me of and i back away slowly and go pay for the clothes. Bakugo looking confused until he looked as well and left with you.

Bakugo: we agree to never speak of this?

Cj: agreed.

We head down to the food court and we found the place we wanted to eat at. we ate burger king.

Cj: hey bakugo?

Bakugo: Hm?

Cj: Thanks for coming out with me!

I said with a warm smile.

Bakugo: oh no problem

we leave after eating and head home and we had a squad night.

The next day at night(Friday,9 pm)

I were warming up the car and put my bag in the trunk with the rest of the squad’s stuff. Im driving and bakugo sitting on the passager side while kirishima is on the right side, sero in the further back with mina and Denki on the left side in the backseat. I may be wondering where they’re going well i’ll find out once you guys get there.

Cj: everyone ready? Nobody left anything before we pull off?

Everyone nodded and i asked who wanted to play the music from my phone and mina wanted it. So she played (All about that bass-Megan Trainor). Then i stopped and filled up on gas then started hitting the road.

Cj: So...what should we play

Bakugo: The hell you’re talking about dumbass

Kirishima: OH! Do you mean a car ride game?

Denki: aw man I love those

Mina and Sero:Ikr! They’re always so fun to play epslly when we have a long drive to go!

Cj: Yeah how about I spy with my little eye?

Everyone agreed and even bakugo. i turned down the music so it’s like background music and Denki starts the game.

Denki: I spy something blonde and grumpy

Kiri: Bakubro!

Mina, Sero: Bakugo!

Cj: kats…

Bakugo: damn idiot! Tf why me!?

Denki: Idk you’re the first person I see bro

Bakugo:tch...fine my turn

You start blushing for no reason at all.

Bakugo: I spy something red

Denki: Kirishima’s hair

Kiri: My hair?

Mina: Cj

Sero: Kiri’s hair

Bakugo: No and Raccoon eyes got it

Cj: hah?!

Mina: Yes! I knew it! Girls instinct

Boys: ohhhh…

i blush harder and harder meaning my face turning redder than Kirishima’s hair. The boys continue to laugh but get Bakugo’s point bc their the only ones who know his crush on me.

Cj:(why?...why me?)

Bakugo smiles at me and i turn to the road while letting i window down so i feel something cold against my face.

Bakugo: Your turn pinky

Mina: okay! I spy with my little eye something bright!

Cj: oh the sun

Kiri: denki’s hair

Sero: the sun

Bakugo: (dumb shitty hair) the sun

Denki: My hair

Mina: Cj got it first! So Denki and Kiri you’re wrong

Cj: Oh okay then

We go another few rounds before everyone wanted to listen to music and do their own thing. Three hours passed and it was ^9:08pm^ and everyone had fallen asleep and i see this resting place so you pull over and the only person who wasnt asleep was bakugo to my surprise. So i get out and goes to the bathroom and so does bakugo.

Cj: I’m surprised

Bakugo: what do you mean extra?

Cj: You’d usually fall asleep around 8 pm so it’s kind of weird ya know

Bakugo: oh well you look tired so I wanted to drive some anyway

Cj: oh okay...that’s fine

We sit on the hood of the truck and look up at the stars and we talked more than ever and soon enough i fell asleep so Bakugo puts me in the passager seat and got in the car and shuts it off and fell asleep as well.

The next day(7 am)

i woke up to music and bakugo driving so i sit up and notice his jacket on me and i look at him. Admiring him his eyes, his calmness, his body.

Bakugo: You’re gonna keep staring or say something dumbass

Cj: oh sorry

Bakugo: For what??

Cj: oh I assume it made you uncomfortable

Bakugo: no not really(should I pull over on this cliff? yeah)

Bakugo pulls over and gets out and opens my door and brings me out and closing the door behind me. giving bakugo a confused look.

Bakugo: I wanted you to see the sunrise with me…

Cj: oh well it does look lovely doesn’t it?

Bakugo: yeah it does...hey can I ask you something?

Cj: yeah okay? (I wonder whats he’s gonna ask me)

Bakugo: okay...um do you like anyone?

Cj: um...yeah actually wbu do you like someone?

Bakugo: May I ask who it is and yeah I do dumbass

Cj: oh...well its you

Bakugo:oh...OH! wait really?

Cj:yeah...its okay if you dont like me-

Without a heart beat he kissed me, we both have a slight blush look on our face

Cj:w-what?!

Bakugo: i like you too dumbass

CJ:oh um...what does this means now?

Bakugo lets out a sign and asks

Bakugo:ugh.....cj would you like to be my boyfriend?

I say back with me smiling like crazy, blushing mess

Cj:YES!

#bakugo katsuki #denki kaminari #sero hanta #mina ashido #katsuki bakugo #eijiro kirishima #bnha #my hero academia

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fuzzylumpkins · 3 years

Text

I GIVE UP. (a secret open letter)

Hi. I know youre a morning person, and you're always busy everyday. especially on a Monday, and i really dont wanna rain on your parade, but given the situation, i just know na hindi ko na kaya patagalin pa to ng ilang araw, or iset aside nanaman. So im sorry if your first day of the week and your day itself starts off with this letter.

I also know na you dont really read my long messages and youre probably thinking, "Hay, ito nanaman si Mara and mga long letters nya." But im asking you to please read all of these. Alam ko pag gising mo you will shrug this off, and it's okay. who would want a buzzkill to start their day with, diba? Hehe but again, please. Please take time to read this and understand where this is all coming from. You can always save these messages to your vault and read it later kung nasa mood ka na, or if me time ka na. But please dont disregard this letter.

Anyway,

It's exactly 2:15 in the morning. I havent slept since i messaged you last night/kanina. I had to stop crying, and collect myself entriely, para kalmado ako (kanina kalmado actually ako. You just got scared na magstorm off ako, and turned off your phone. Pero thankfully, kalmado ako nun. And i guess thats a really good thing, kasi di na ako galit. But i guess that's also a sign na pagod na ako talaga.

So yeah, i needed to collect myself, hindi na ako umiiyak as i am writing this (but i probably will cry at the end or maybe even in the middle of writing of this letter! hehe) Nag relax muna ako from my last message sayo, doing nothing, because I needed to calm myself even more, kasi I wanted to write this letter, na yun nga, kalmado, that way, mas sure ako sa mga sasabihin ko, and sa magiging decisions ko.

Love, im giving up. This time it's for real. Ayaw ko na talaga. Alam ko ilang beses mo na narinig sakin yan. And i end up eating my words, as soon as you talk to me, throw me nice words, treat me with kindness. parang bigla nalang, "nabibihag" mo nanaman ako. Pero ayaw ko na love. Suko na ako. Surrender na ako. Matigas ka talaga. 😢 hehe And honestly, hindi ko na mafeel yung worth ko sayo. I feel useless, and i feel like im worth nothing to you because of these feelings, na matagal ko na nararamdaman, but i always choose to ignore. Kasi in denial ako. These are the red flags i'd like to let you know.

You never gave me any compromise.

Thats one thing i wanted to hear from you, never mo naman ginawan ng paraan. Parang tinatawanan mo lang yung hurt na nararamdaman ko. Never mo ginawan ng solusyon.

You dont give me an assurance.

Wala akong peace of mind. Im sorry pero, wala na akong trust. You lost my trust, i cant trust you, i wont trust you — kasi never mo naman ako pinafeel good, and never mo naman ako binigyan ng assurance na never mo na gagawin sakin na mahurt ako. Parang feeling ko never mo gnawa yun, kasi ikaw mismo sa sarili mo hindi mo masigurado na kaya mo.

I gave you a second chance , but you never valued that second chance.

Tandang tanda ko pa how you hurt me that night na nakita ko yung unang time na finollow mo yang nur aypha na yan. We talked about it sa Biton. You said sorry you cried. —- hindi ko akalain na ung cool guy lawrence would feel so guilty that day, and cry, and lunok his pride and say sorry to me. Sobra kong happy that moment kasi akala ko sobrang love mo ako. September 21 yun. DO YOU KNOW WHY DECEMBER 23 KO PA ULIT NA NALAMAN NA NEVER MO PALA INUNFOLLOW? Because i dont check you, i dont check your account because i trusted you. Sobra ko lang katrust sayo. Ganun ako kaconfident sa love mo sakin. Pero that december night na nalaman ko yun, it was my gut telling me na something’s up. And ever since then, HINDI NA AKO NATAHIMIK. Hindi ko akalain na yung time na akala ko ok ka, na nagsorry ka, na binigyan kita ng second chance, hindi ko akalain na in that span, may pa like like ka pa ng LAHAT ng pictures nya. As in every upload. Alam mo yung nasa isip ko? Isahan mo lang gilike lahat yun. Tapos nakita nya, na “uy may flood likes ako from an ex..” and thats already enough reason to start a conversation between you two. :”( or hindi ko alam kung lahat ba ng stories nya, gina reactan mo, kasi pala react ka sa stories. Dun mo nga ako una nakausap diba? Thats your conversation starter, and that fucking kills me. Yung thoughts na yun never ako pinatahimik. KAYA GSTO KO LANG NAMAN MAWALA SYA SA ACCT MO KSI HINDI KO NA ALAM ANO NA GINAGAWA MO. Hindi ko na alam ano na ginagawa nyo privately.

Kasi you have intentions. You had intentions when you kept liking her photos. Kasi MAY PINAGDAANAN na tayo na issue sakanya, but you still secretly kept liking her pictures. Up until your birthday, sya nasa isip mo while ako i was doing my best effort to make you feel happy. To surprise you. Lahat. Kaya pala when i asked you to come to mabini to get my bigger surprise, parang “ugh” ka pa na ano ba to. bat kelangan pa mag pnta pnta. Then until new year of 2021, kung d ko pa nahuli nung jan 7, nakalike ka pa and updated ka masyado sknya.

So hindi mo mwala sakin yun magisip ako ng , ah baka sa instagram stories ito naga landian itong dalawa. Thats why i dont have my peace of mind. Thats why i want you to remove her. Pero hndi mo magawa, hindi mo kaya.

You never adjusted even for a bit. Para sakin.

Para sa tao na dapat sana mas iniisip mo kung mahal mo tlaga.

Sobra kong selos kasi bakit ako, yung kinulang na sa oras sa buhay mo, yung pinipilit mag habol ng oras na nawala, bakit ako yung wala sa social media mo? Bakit ako hindi mo malagay jan, na yan lang yung isang way na makabawi tayo sa lost times natin. Bakit sila, mas nakikita mo yung everyday ig stories nila, yung personal life nila, mas ginapili mo na yun makita kesa updated ka sa simple things in my life na sana nakikita mo, nahahabol mo. Ung mga interests ko na sana alam mo. Yung mga interests mo na sana alam ko, na sana nadidiscover ko pa ngyon na nagahabol ako ng nawala na panahon? Na bawat ig story mo nakikita ko na “uy mahilig talaga si lawrence/mara ng ganto.” Or whatever. Pero wala e. Ung simple joys ko na ganun, you stripped that away from me Because you CHOSE to keep them instead. You chose them and still choose them to this day over me.

Di ko talaga alam bakit? Kasi

You blame me?

Blame me for fucking what?! Tangina. Lagi mo reason “o, ngayon alam mo na feeling ng di pinapakinggan?” Putang ina naman you pnly felt that for 2-3 days na nag matigas ako to not block an ex. Compare mo sa 2-3 months na nagmamatigas ka hindi ako pagbigyan. Fuck. That. Hurts.

And yung blame na yan, kung hindi mo yan maalis sa isip mo, even if i said sorry, even if pinagsisihan ko na, even if i did everything to change that, wala pa rin, then i think that’s also a reason na istop nalang din ito. Kasi yun yung gusto mo na justification sa actions mo, that one single thing na hindi ko naman pinalala, pero yun pa rin yung ginagamimt mo na dahilan to justify your actions, then i really think it’s time to stop na rin. Oo na, kasalanan ko nalang.

Love the very same reason bakit ayaw mo nagafollow sakin sila, o finafollow ko sila, THATS THE VERY SAME REASON BAKIT AKO NAGA PA BLOCK DIN SAYO. Kung ano yung pakiramdam mo ganun din yung akin. Pero bakit never mo kaya gawin for me yun? Yun yung hndi ko magets. Kung snasabi mo “wala dn man ako gnagawa” WELL GUESS WHAT? WALA DN AKO GINAGAWA, yet i blocked them para wala ka na maisip, THATS ME GIVING YOU YOUR PEACE OF MIND . Para matahimik isip mo and ma feel confident ka about me. E ikw nga MAY GINAGAWA NA.

Di ko talaga alam. Sabi nila it comes with age. Meron mga lalake na maaga nasstop yang stage na ganyan, meron din never na talaga. I dont care if you admire those tiktok type girls, lahat ng mga “wow” for guys. Pero pede nyo naman iappreciate yun without engaging anything with them. Pde mo naman daanan lng without clicking the heart button, or without reacting.

Pero un sa ex mo, tapos hindi pa malabong magkita kayo. Naku, no no na yun. Hindi ako magiging katulad ng asawa natin na nalulusutan natin.

But anyway,

that’s it. Surrender na ako. Masyado na talagang mababa yung tingin ko na worth ko sayo. Masyado na din mababa tingin ko sa sarili ko na naga makaawa ako sa SIMPLENG bagay na hindi mabigay sakin ng tao na nagasabi na mahal ako.

have your freedom, hindi naman kita prisoner. Baka isipin mo sobra pa ako sa asawa mo. Si R nga d naga ganto ganyan, si mara oa, HINDI NAMAN ASAWA. Well maybe because maybe i know you more? I know what youre capable of. You cheat pn ur wife with me, and she doesnt know that. So alam ko na, sya asawa mo kaya mo lokohin, ako pa kaya na kabit mo LANG. If youre gonna b with me, just stay loyal, and be honest. That's all i ask.

Yun lang.

I give up.

💔

Dont worry it’s not you who’s giving up. It’s me. I’ve given up. I’ve given up on hope and love na pjnipilit ko na meron tayo.

Kasi ang dami pa natin pagdadaanan, pero kung ganitong bagay lang hindi mo kaya macompromise for me, then might as well stop this. Pano nlng sa next challenges ? Iwan nlng ako sa ere kasi wala akong support system. So ayoko na dumating sa point na kawawa na ako masyado love. hehe

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Sometimes it takes an experience na masasaktan ka, or may mawawala sayo, for you to realize the value of something. “You never know what you got til it’s gone” kasi you take it for granted.

If youre gonna be with me, be with me all in. Make me feel secured. Give me that trust, kasi yun yung building block ng lahat ng relationships. I told you my deal. D na ako babalik sayo unless you remove that person in your life (na obvious na d mo magawa) Actually, simula ngyon ayaw ko na rin mag-asa. Kasi the more na tumatagal, mas sobrang sakit on my part. Kasi “bakit hindi maaksyonan agad?” Bakit kelangan pa patagalin.

The more you take time, the more it hurts. The more theyre in your life, tapos ako wala? The more it hurts. The more you keep them, the more you dont value my worth.

--------------------------------------------------------

I dont want to leave by giving each other wounds. Ayoko na dn matapos ito na puro away nalang. Thats why im giving up. Para wala na ako gnaisip na akin ka, na love mo ako kc i end up getting hurt.

PS: If youre gonna change, dont change for me. Change for yourself. I do believe people change. Yun yung kelangan ko linawin. If you are changing for me, then chances are baka bumalik ka lang sa dati mong ugali, or dati mong ginagawa, because ayaw mong magbago for yourself. If youre gonna change, that has to be for u. Kelangan nasayo yung “narealize ko how much i value my relationship, ayaw ko masira ulit to. Im not gonna give anyone a chance to ruin my relationship.” Because you know the value of this once in a lifetime love story. But if youre changing because naku, “baka magalit si Mara.” Then iba din yun. iba yung reason why youre changing. You might just go back to the way you were. I do believe that ppl can change. Yun lang minsan ang sad dun, it takes a painful experience, para matuto tayo ng leksyon.

Also, i just wanna ask you to not feel AWA towards me. Kasi hindi tama na anjan ka nlang kasi makaawa na ako. Leave that “awa” to me. Kasi ako honestly? Awang awa na ako sa sarili ko for stooping so low sa mga ginagawa ko. Awang awa na ako na i go through hell just to save and value this relationship.

Awang awa na ako na ang dami kong niririsk and pinagdadaanan only to come “home” to a relationship that cant show me my worth.

Parang hindi na tama yung pinagdadaanan ko , tapos ako yung simpleng bagay na hinihingi ko, d mabigay sakin. Unfair na yun. D na ko willing mapagod for nothing.

Pack up na ako, love. Youre only showing me na you dont wanna make it work anymore, and ako nlang yung lumalaban. And I dont think thats fair. but thats ok.

Im sorry, im gone from now on. I give up.

As for your obligations and responsibilities, this current problem/issue im dealing with — my pregnancy. Dont worry anymore na. Ayoko rin n nagastay ka lang kasi naawa ka sakin, or kasi you feel bad na naka take part ka sa pinagdadaanan ko ngayon. Wag ganun.

Wag mo nalang din ifeel na obligtion mo to. It’s not. Thankful ako anjan ka when i found out and helped me how to deal with it. So wala kna to feel guilty about. Know that im thankful. Sabi mo nga love diba 🥲 Strong girl ako, matapang ako.🥲 I just no longer want you involved in this. I’ll be on my own from now on.

Im not asking u to call na pala, kasi baka isipin mo ang toxic ko na kausap na umiiyak. Hehe

Goodbye. Sorry this has to come to this. Thank you sa lahat. Mahal na mahal kita, always. 😢

Mar 01, 2021/ 05:37am

#LA88 #fuzzylumpkins

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