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artificialqueens · 3 years

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Me and You Together, 7/10 (Taywhora) - Ortega

fic summary: The cardinal rule of having flatmates is that you Do Not Catch Feelings For Your Flatmates, because everything inevitably goes to shit and gets made horrifically awkward. A’whora and Tayce both know this, but being in first year of uni and making good decisions have never really gone hand in hand.

a/n: thank u so so much for all the continued love and support on this!!!! i am absolute dogshit at replying to comments but i do see them all and screech at everty single one, so thank you sosososO much for every like, ask, reply and reblog! in this chapter u all get some answers to the questions the last chapter brought up........apologies if ur not keen on them though xo

last chapter: the girls broke their own rules and had their own kind of kitchen "afterparty" after Lawrence's friend's flat party, but Tayce couldn't give A'whora the answers she desperately wanted.

this chapter: tensions run high in block 4 flat 10, as feelings struggle to stay hidden and truths begin to surface.

***

A’whora is happy.

Really, why would she not be? She gets to hang out with and sleep with the girl that’s been on her mind for months and months and months. They go out for drinks with the others and fall into bed together afterwards, steal glances at each other in the kitchen which end in holding hands and pulling each other into one of their bedrooms. They’re incredible and intense and their chemistry rages like a fire and A’whora can never get enough.

The thing about Tayce paying for brunch on Valentine’s day is that they’re caught in a cycle of having to pay each other back, one that A’whora doesn’t ever want to break. They go for lunch after lectures and treat each other to dinner and walk around the city together where they look through the windows of the designer shops and gawk at the bags and shoes. Tayce brought her car up from Newport at the end of last month and she’s driven A’whora anywhere and everywhere too, day trips to the beach and the forest and the huge reservoir just outside the city. They smile at each other across tables and link arms when they walk and laugh and chat like it’s easy. It is easy. It’s nice and it’s comfortable and it feels right.

They’ve started sleeping over too, sometimes. If it’s late and they’re both that sleepy, overwhelmed way after they’ve tired each other out, Tayce will chuck A’whora one of her huge t-shirts and a pair of pyjama shorts and they’ll curl up together, Tayce spooning her with her arm around her waist and resting on her tummy. It’s strange- A’whora’s always felt a little self-conscious of her stomach, the way it isn’t flat like a supermodel’s despite the fact she knows that’s not how human bodies work. But when Tayce is holding her like that she doesn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed; just appreciated and protected, like she’s as beautiful as Tayce tells her all the time.

It’s funny knowing how Tayce sleeps: the way she flops over onto her side and stretches out in the middle of the night, the way A’whora will sometimes get an arm to the face or a kick to the shin; because if a single bed isn’t enough for the pair of them at the best of times it’s certainly not enough to accommodate Tayce trying to spread her entire body over every square centimetre of it while unconscious. What’s equally strange is having Tayce know how she sleeps too. A’whora’s always been a sleeptalker, she knows this, but it gives sleeping next to Tayce a new element of terror any time she wakes up to her giggling, telling her the stupid things she’d been saying punctuated by forehead kisses. A’whora worries that one night she’ll say something she’s deliberately been keeping hidden.

Because even though she’s happy...she’d be lying if she said she doesn’t want more. Not much more. Just to be able to call Tayce hers properly. She would love to tell Tayce just how much she likes her; more than a friend, more than a friend with benefits.

“Why don’t you just be honest with her?” Ellie had asked, when they’d gone for a debrief drink together after a lecture that had ended at six at night.

They’d had a couple of these kinds of drinks; the first being the evening of Valentine’s day after Ellie and Lawrence had inadvertently walked in on them both. Ellie had practically dragged A’whora to the nearest bar and demanded to know details, something in her sparkling eyes growing dull after A’whora had told her it had been going on for over a month. A’whora had felt guilty- aside from Tayce, Ellie is her best friend in the flat, and not telling her about what had been happening between her and Tayce had admittedly felt weird. It was clear that keeping it from Ellie had hurt her too even if she didn’t say it, and even after A’whora had apologised twice she’d still felt guilty even though Ellie had batted her away with a ‘don’t be silly!’ and ‘it’s fine!’.

To make up for it, A’whora has let Ellie be her agony aunt about all things Tayce-related ever since. Which has been great, until she gives her ridiculous suggestions like telling Tayce how she feels.

A’whora remembers scrunching her face up as she sipped her too-strong cocktail, shaking her head in a no . “There’s no way. I’m not risking her telling me she doesn’t feel the same, are you insane?! It’d totally ruin the friendship.”

Ellie had choked on her drink in a laugh, rushing to explain herself to A’whora as she gulped. “Babe. You’re literally shagging without putting a label on it. You ruined the friendship a long time ago.”

A’whora had shared the laugh but something heavy and uncomfortable had settled itself in her gut in response to Ellie’s words.

It’s the same feeling that settles in her gut whenever Tayce reacts to Lawrence’s jokes. On the whole, the reaction from the others to her and Tayce sleeping together has been relatively muted- Bimini will just smirk at them every so often, a knowing smile on their face, while Tia will just grin at them all dippy and tell them that they’re cute- but Lawrence has really gone off the deep end. She sends memes to the flat group chat about them (a screenshot of her Google searching ‘can you write fanfiction about your flatmates’ springs to mind) and will constantly poke fun at the apparent ever-present sexual tension between the pair of them.

A’whora knows Lawrence doesn’t do it to be malicious; it’s half borne out of jealousy, as A’whora knows by now how much she’s infatuated with Ellie. If she’s being honest, she actually doesn’t mind the jokes. Even though they’re a bit embarrassing, they serve as a little illustration to A’whora that she and Tayce are in this together. Lawrence joking about the pair of them is like a validation; that they’re good together, that they work, that they’re seen as a unit by others. It’s silly, but it’s almost contributing to the argument that they should be together for real. That they should be girlfriends.

Girlfriends. Even just thinking about being Tayce’s girlfriend sends 100 volts through A’whora’s bloodstream.

But Tayce doesn’t seem to appreciate Lawrence’s jokes like A’whora does. At first Tayce had given them a courtesy snort, the sort of reaction an adult would give a child telling a weak knock-knock joke. But the more jokes Lawrence makes, the less time Tayce seems to have for them. She’s started firing back with biting quips of her own about Lawrence’s own single situation, balls of rolled-up barbed wire lobbed at a friend just trying to take the piss. Of course, Lawrence being Lawrence sees that Tayce is bothered by the jokes and uses this as an invitation to continue making them. She enjoys winding her friends up because it always comes from a place of love, and A’whora knows this. She knows they’re just jokes.

She doesn’t get why Tayce doesn’t appreciate them the same as she does. The wondering puts doubts in her head, ones she wishes weren’t there.

A’whora’s glad, then, when the heat is off them and on the other couple in the flat- the official one, that is. It’s an ordinary Thursday evening and Lawrence is rifling through the fridge looking for something to make for dinner from the sorry selection of food in the fridge. Bimini is perched on one of the sofas with their head in their phone smiling slightly at the screen as they type, and Ellie is at the other end with her head in one of the books she needs to read for her course, a frown deep on her face and her mouth moving silently as she tackles each line. A’whora is cuddled up next to Tayce on the other sofa, both of them on their laptops as they allegedly begin research for their final essay of the year but are simply using it as a guise to watch old Vivienne Westwood runway shows.

It’s calm and it’s quiet and it’s chilled until Tia nearly boots the fire door down, an excitable smile on her face like a puppy as she carries her open laptop in her hands, Veronica in tow behind her.

“Ladies and gentlethem, a moment of your time please!” she announces with a grand gesture, making all heads snap her way. Having got everyone’s attention, Tia places the laptop on the dining table and claps her hands together with pride. “I’ve decided...I’m running for activities officer in the student elections!”

There’s a small cry of delight from the girls, but the moment is short-lived as Bimini snorts a laugh from the sofa. Horrified at this out-of-character unkind moment from her friend, A’whora whips her head around only to find Bimini’s head still in their phone. Suddenly realising eyes are on them, Bimini blushes red, flinching a little as they look up.

“Shit, sorry. Just Asttina...sent something funny. Anyway, sorry, activities? G’wan, girl, you’ll nail it!”

Veronica pipes up with pride beside her girlfriend. “Oh, she absolutely will with what we’ve just put together. Come see!”

Intrigued, A’whora shares an amused gaze with Tayce as they slide off the sofa, gathering round the laptop with the others and waiting with bated breath as Veronica hits play, Tia standing bashfully beside her.

What follows is what can only be described as a hallucinogenic trip. It’s Tia standing in the middle of the campus square as Tik Tok by Ke$ha plays in the background, and a second later she begins singing.

“ Wake up in the morning thinking we need more, we need more space, we need more storage, we need more sup-port…”

“STOP!” Lawrence yells with delight, reaching out and clutching Tia’s arm in excitement.

A’whora, for her part, genuinely can’t tell if it’s the most iconic thing she’s ever seen or a total disaster. The campaign video rolls on with Tia singing the parody of the song as a soundtrack to her popping up around campus; in the union, in lecture theatres, in the square outside the graduation hall. She can’t quite believe it when it reaches the chorus, though, and Tia, Veronica, and a couple more students start dancing in what appears to be the library foyer.

“ Vote Tia for Activities if you want bet-ter facilities, it’s al-right, I’mma fight for more events on inter-site…”

“Oh, Tia. What is this?” Tayce giggles beside A’whora. She doesn’t miss the glare Ellie shoots her way.

“Shut up, ya shady cow! I think it’s brilliant.”

“Did you just get random fuckers off the street to do that dance with you?” Bimini inquires patiently.

“They’re my flatmates. You’ve met them,” Veronica explains, not without an edge of irritation.

The video continues for the full duration of the song, and when it’s over A’whora has to fight every shady urge she possesses and clap for Tia, because she does look proud of what she and Veronica have made, even if it’s making A’whora cringe so much she feels her muscles constrict.

“Fuckin’ brilliant babes. You’ll walk it wi’ that,” Lawrence thumps Tia on the back encouragingly. Her face turns scheming as she opens her mouth again. “When you do become the activities officer, d’you think you could officiate some kind of anti-sickness pill for whenever Tayce and A’whora start cuddling on the sofa?”

A’whora can’t help the laugh she blurts out as she curls her fingers around Tayce’s. Tayce’s don’t wrap around hers in the same way. Instead she stiffens, smiles falsely at her flatmate.

“Yeah, Tia, do you think you could officiate some sort of anti-bullshit procedure for whenever Lawrence opens her bloody gob?”

“Aw, alright, alright. I’ve clearly touched a nerve,” Lawrence protests apologetically, but the twinkle in her eye suggests there’s more to come. “Although not as many as A’whora’s touched, clearly, aren’t there 8,000 of them in the clit?”

“Lawrence!” A’whora yells in outrage, but she’s laughing like the others are in spite of herself. Her heart drops though when Tayce tugs her hand away, crosses the room briskly to the hall door and wrenches it open, gone before she knows it.

All that’s left is a silence as awkward as it’s long.

Bimini bites their lip as they move first. “I’ll go talk to her.”

A’whora frowns. “Should I-”

“Best to leave it a bit, yeah?” Bimini advises apologetically, opening the door gentler than Tayce had before they disappear.

The silence only resumes for a second before it’s Ellie that breaks it.

“Lawrence!” she hisses, narrowing her eyes at her. Lawrence’s mouth drops open, shocked as she is offended.

“What the hell did I do?!”

Ellie gives a derisive laugh before A’whora can even say anything. “Are you joking?! You keep winding her up and it’s so obvious she doesn’t like it. You need to stop that shit.”

“Would you chill out? Tayce will be fine in about five minutes. The girl’s got a life threatening case of cannae-take-a-joke-itis and she fell and bruised her pride. I didn’t fucking...come in her mouth.”

Ellie gives a colossal roll of her eyes, folds her arms over her chest. “Cut the jokes out for a goddamn minute. You’ve hurt your friend’s feelings, are you not even going to go see what’s up with her?”

Lawrence gives a light shrug, unbothered. “Aw, listen to yourself! You’re being so overdramatic, Tayce is my friend, it’s just banter. She knows I don’t mean it. Anyway, it’s not like A’whora minds!”

“Well a relationship consists of two people, Lawrence. Not that you’d know,” Ellie snaps. Her bluntness shocks A’whora and she’s vaguely aware of Tia and Veronica making a slow, awkward exit from the room, but this doesn’t stop Lawrence from firing back.

“Aw, says little miss loved-up herself? Where’s your fuckin’ other half then, eh? Since you know so much about relationships, clearly?”

For a moment, Ellie’s face is slapped with a look of pure hurt. It’s clear she didn’t expect Lawrence to match her energy, hit her with words she doesn’t mean just like Ellie has done to her. But then her expression steels and her jaw sets tight before her mouth opens again. “I might not have a boyfriend or a fucking girlfriend but at least I have the common sense and emotional range not to rip the piss out of my flatmates’ fragile fucking friends with benefits setup!?”

Lawrence scowls back, shakes her head with derision. “You know what, maybe you would have somebody if you didn’t spend half your fucking life moping about your flatmate, who by the way, is in love with her girlfriend and has been for fucking months!”

“Well at least I have feelings! What the fuck are you, a joke book in a skin suit?” Ellie retorts quickly.

All of a sudden it looks like part of Lawrence crumbles. Shutters fly down behind her eyes and A’whora can see Ellie regrets her words. It’s too late, though, because they’re out, and before Ellie can say anything else Lawrence is turning to A’whora and laughing with a sneer.

“Jesus Christ, who left the gate to the cunt farm open?!”

“Fuck you, Lawrence,” Ellie spits, before storming towards the door just as Tayce had done minutes earlier.

All that’s left is A’whora, Lawrence, and a tense silence. A’whora bites her lip. She knows she should go after Ellie, and she will. But Lawrence is standing rooted to the spot, her eyes trained on the door Ellie’s just left through, and they’re drowning in a deep regret.

“Lawrence,” A’whora starts, making to comfort her even though her mind is still on Tayce and what the matter with her is too.

“A’whora, it’s fine. I’m not arsed,” Lawrence waves her away, crossing the room to the kitchen. “Well, the human fucking joke book is gonny go make her dinner, if you’re wanting a bowl? I’m just making bolognese-”

“Babe,” A’whora cuts in again, without really knowing what she can say. Just then the door opens again and her heart rises with the thought that Tayce might be on the other side of it, but it’s Tia and Veronica, concern on both their faces.

“Sorry. We thought it was best to give you both a minute,” Tia explains, hovering nervously with her girlfriend at the door. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine, Tia,” Lawrence sighs, her back turned and her shoulders heavy as she grips the side of the countertop. “I’ve just…”

There’s a pause that’s left lingering in the air like a heavy fog that not one of them can see clearly through.

“...fucked it with the girl I’ve liked for two years.”

A’whora watches Tia’s face contort in recognition. “...Ellie?”

As Lawrence sighs, her shoulders sag. “Yeah.”

Tia blinks, appeals to Veronica as if she would have any more of an idea. “Oh, Loz. I never knew.”

“To be fair, you’ve been pretty wrapped up in tiny blonde puppy love since the end of January,” A’whora says, unable to muster up the joy or good humour to make it into the joke it’s intended to be.

“Well if she was never going to see me as anything more than a friend before, she definitely isny going to now,” Lawrence says quietly, shuffling her feet as she moves to the fridge. “Especially since she’s got her heart set on someone else.”

“Who?” Veronica asks. A’whora holds her breath. Tia and Veronica clearly hadn’t heard what Lawrence and Ellie had said when they’d been arguing. If Lawrence is angry at Ellie for the things she’s said, now would be the perfect time to throw her under the bus, to make things awkward between her and Tia.

But Lawrence just shakes her head as she starts taking out her ingredients for dinner. “It’s not anyone you’d know. Someone we know from back home.”

A’whora takes the opportunity to distract the two girls, namely since her head is beginning to fill up with worst-case-scenarios involving Tayce. “Did you two hear Bim come out of Tayce’s room at all?”

Veronica shakes her head at the same time Tia speaks. “They’re still in there.”

A’whora nibbles on a little ragged nail on her right hand. Is Tayce annoyed at Lawrence or is she actually annoyed at her ? She doesn’t know what she’s meant to have done. Lawrence’s joke was lukewarm, fair enough, but she can’t help but think about Tayce’s reluctance to take her hand, the way she didn’t even crack a smile at the joke.

She shakes her head to clear her mind and moves to the kitchen door at the same time. If Tayce is busy with Bimini, she’s at least going to be there for her other close friend in the flat. “I’m going to go talk to Ellie.”

Before anyone (Lawrence) can protest, A’whora’s making her way down the hall and knocking on Ellie’s door. There’s a rapid snuffling before a thud of heavy, irked footsteps on the other side, and then the door is thrown open to reveal Ellie; mascara smudged, eyes red, and her mouth set in a line of irritation before her expression softens when she realises it’s A’whora.

“Can I come in?”

Ellie relents and opens the door, snuffling as she pads back to her bed and grabs the soft and well-worn Piglet plushie from on top of it, curls up into the foetal position, and thuds her head against the pillow.

“I just wanted to see if you were okay,” A’whora says softly, crossing the room and sitting down on the edge of Ellie’s bed beside her. “Obviously, like...things were said.”

“Obviously,” Ellie snorts out snarkily. A’whora narrows her eyes at her before realising Ellie’s got tears in hers, and her voice is thick with upset as she speaks again. “Fuck...I’m just so hurt and angry but I feel so guilty at the same time? I know I was nasty to Lawrence, and I know we argue all the time but this was different. This was real, and I hurt her, and…”

Ellie sniffs and wipes her nose on the back of Piglet’s ear. A’whora fights with every embryo she possesses not to screw up her face at the action.

“But fuckin’ hell, Lawrence...she hurt me too, you know? I mean she knows how much I liked Tia, and it’s taking me a while to get over her, and fuck, I know that’s stupid because we didn’t even go out, but like...I fucking take things to heart, you know? I care, and it’s not my fault she’s never cared about anybody other than herself.”

“Lawrence cares about you,” A’whora says, and it’s out before she knows it. She bites her lip as if to prevent any more words from coming out, but if Ellie’s picked up on her transgression she doesn’t show it. Ellie’s scowling as she sits up in bed, fixes A’whora with a disbelieving glare.

“She’s got a funny fucking way of showing it, then, doesn’t she? Lawrence’s default is just joke, joke, joke, deflect, and then joke some more. She’s incapable of being serious.”

“Ellie…” A’whora tries to interrupt. She doesn’t know what she wants to say, and she doesn’t know how she can make Ellie understand without revealing Lawrence’s secret. All she knows is that her exasperation at Ellie’s blindness and Lawrence’s moping is reaching a boiling point, and she’s never been so dangerously close to letting things spill.

“I mean I know that joke book in a skin suit thing was harsh, but she said it first, not me! She said that ages ago on my birthday night out, when I’d been upset about Tia and she was trying to cheer me up. And she’d said she had a heart underneath it all but fuck that, she doesn’t know the first thing about feelings.”

“Ellie-”

“Do you know of all the years we’ve been friends, she’s never once told me about anyone she likes? I mean I’ve told her every single time I like someone new. But it’s like, if she can’t even open up to me, who’s like, her oldest friend, then really who the fuck will she open up to-”

“Ellie! For fuck’s sake, listen!” A’whora cuts in, exasperated and at her wit’s end and still all too aware of the fact Tayce ran from the kitchen and hasn’t returned or attempted to see her. Squeezing her eyes shut and apologising to Lawrence in her head in case this goes disastrously wrong, A’whora opens her mouth again. “Lawrence likes you. Properly.”

It’s only when it’s out that A’whora feels the drop in her stomach, not least because she’s questioning how loud she actually blurted the whole thing out. She wants to say it’s worth it from the way Ellie’s left silent, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, but the possibility that she’s just completely wrecked a friendship only makes the guilt and dread sink in her stomach like a stone in a canal.

“I…” A’whora begins, unable to formulate her words properly for the upteenth time that day. She wishes she could be more like Bimini- think first, speak after- and, with a stab to her heart, she imagines what Tayce could be telling them in her room, how she could be opening up to Bimini in a way she couldn’t with her.

“Well,” Ellie finally formulates, her mouth still wide like a goldfish’s. “That’s, um. Unexpected information.”

There’s another silence where A’whora is just about to apologise, but then Ellie speaks again, wiping her eyes with her tears now completely gone. “Did she tell you this?”

A’whora scuffs her foot awkwardly, bites her lip before she lets her words out. “Lawrence told Tayce a while back. And Tayce told me. But nobody else knows, I don’t think.”

Ellie exhales heavily. “Okay. Good.”

There’s another pause where A’whora reaches out and takes Ellie’s hand. “Babe, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin anything-”

“No, you’ve not. It’s just…” Ellie looks up to the ceiling, then squeezes her eyes shut. “...fuck, it’s complicated.”

A’whora’s stomach stops twisting with anxiety at Ellie’s words, and instead she finds her eyes widening a little as her curiosity is piqued. Ellie clearly notices her response and huffs a little sigh, tense and anxious and reluctant to reveal what it is that’s bothering her.

“Like...two years ago? Three years ago? A while back, anyway...I had feelings for Lawrence,” Ellie mutters into her plushie, and A’whora can’t stop the way she gasps Panto-style in shock. She would never have guessed that at all- in fact at times Ellie's friendship with Lawrence seemed one based on mutual exasperation- so to know that she had once felt the same about her friend is a revelation to say the least.

A’whora’s managed to elicit a smile from Ellie at her over-the-top reaction, and it seems to prompt her to keep going. “We were still in high school and we lived on opposite sides of the country...it would never have worked, and fifteen-year-old me knew that despite what I wrote in my diary and the initials I drew hearts round in my notebooks. So my feelings just ended up...dying off, I guess. We ended up being friends, and that’s been fine, you know? It’s not like I’ve been hiding a crush from her for years. But now...knowing she feels like that about me...it’s weird. It’s like all those feelings from when I was fifteen…”

“...have all come flooding back because you know Lawrence is a possibility for you now,” A’whora finishes for her, completely in sync with how Ellie’s rationalising things. Ellie rapidly points at her and nods emphatically.

“That’s exactly it! It’s strange. Like even though I know she’s my friend and nothing’s changed between us...I know I’m blushing, I can feel it, and my stomach’s got wee nervous butterflies. For fuck’s sake,” Ellie shakes her head in exasperation, covers her face with her hands. “It’s so embarrassing. And it’s awkward? What the hell am I meant to do, just go through there after a bust-up and be like ‘oh by the way, heard you fancy me’ ?”

A’whora hums in understanding. She thinks for a moment, both girls sharing a comfortable silence that’s cushioned by the secret that’s just been shared. And then she speaks. If only she’d had the wherewithal to do things in that order when she’d been with Tayce.

“You don’t need to do anything about it now. I’d say re-establish the friendship first. Sit on it for a bit,” she says. “See how you feel about her knowing what you know now as time goes by a bit.”

“Yeah,” Ellie nods slowly. She smiles gently, squeezes A’whora’s hand in gratitude. “Thanks, chick. I’m lucky to have made you as a friend.”

A’whora smiles back in affirmation, and she’s about to say the same when the door to Ellie’s room cracks open a little to reveal Bimini on the other side.

“Sorry to interrupt,” they say, apologetic and quiet. “I’m off round to Asttina’s. Just thought I should let you know so you could go talk to Tayce, A’whora.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks, Bim,” A’whora frowns minutely, a little thrown by their phrasing. She’s about to dig a little deeper when Ellie interrupts, a mischievous smile on her face as she addresses her other flatmate.

“Bimini, what’s actually going on between you and her? I know a lady never tells, but what about an enby?”

“Depends ‘ow much wine you put in ‘em. Laters,” Bimini winks, tuning on their heel and letting the door shut behind them. It leaves A’whora and Ellie alone to laugh, and then fall into a comfortable silence.

“I know you’ll want to talk to Tayce. I’ll maybe phone Anne. Talk this fucking...Eastenders episode of my life through with them,” Ellie laughs, shaking her head in disbelief and running her hands down her face. A’whora’s thankful for her permission, and she gives her hand a squeeze in return as she slips off the edge of the bed, pads softly to the door.

“Wish me luck. Got a feeling I’ll need it.”

Ellie bats her away flippantly. “‘Course you won’t. It’s Tayce. She’s so bloody gone for you it’s ridiculous.”

As A’whora smiles shyly and waves Ellie goodbye for now, she really hopes her friend is right.

The walk to Tayce’s room from Ellie’s is only a matter of metres, but with every step A’whora takes it only seems to drag longer, the mixture of apprehension and dread a deadly cocktail in her gut. She finds herself replaying Lawrence’s joke and her own reaction to it in her head, trying to figure out what she’s done wrong. She can’t come up with anything. So why does she feel responsible?

Finally reaching Tayce’s door she knocks gently and hesitantly, everything in her body tense as she waits to hear the yell of permission to enter. What comes instead is a come in that’s so muted A’whora’s left wondering if it’s even Tayce’s voice at all. She pushes the door anyway just in case, and as it slowly opens it reveals Tayce sitting on her bed with her knees up to her chest and her phone in her hand, her thumbs twisting furiously as she taps out a message on the screen.

Presumably a message to her friends back home about how much she now hates her. Good.

Tayce’s gaze flicks up from the screen when she enters, and unlike in Ellie’s room where she chose to sit on the end of the bed, A’whora remains at the door. “Hey. Am I alright to come in?”

Tayce gives a disinterested shrug. “Free country.”

A’whora feels her shoulders sag in response. Well, we’re off to a great start here.

Trying not to get too disheartened too quickly, A’whora moves to sit on the chair at Tayce’s desk. On top of it are scattered sketches, pieces of paper with little brush strokes of paint samples that resemble the colours cast against a wall when a diamond catches the light. In amongst the clutter of creativity, the scraps of insight into Tayce’s mind, A’whora’s eyes are caught by a sketch of a girl she thinks looks a lot like her.

“What’s up?” Tayce tugs her out of her observations, reminding A’whora why she’s here.

“Uh, just wondering what that was all about in the kitchen there,” A’whora checks her nails, picks at one of her cuticles nervously. “Just wanted to check you were alright.”

As A’whora looks up, she finds Tayce with her eyes still on her phone and her eyebrows raised. Her body language is tense as she nods slowly. “Mhm. I’m fine.”

A’whora can’t help the exasperated laugh she gives, finally prompting Tayce to look up from her phone with annoyance. “Tayce, come off it. You never hide how you feel. You practically held a UN summit that time Tia accidentally knocked your chicken shawarma on the kitchen floor. Look, don’t take anything Lawrence says too seriously, you know she just does it for a reaction.”

“I’m not annoyed at Lawrence,” Tayce says almost immediately, throwing her head back against her pillows and staring up at the ceiling before covering her face with her hands.

A’whora’s stomach feels tight. She’s never seen Tayce this in her own head. Normally she’s honest about her feelings, upfront and real. Throughout their whole situation together, Tayce has always been open about the fact that they’re only hooking up, that they’re just friends that happen to have good sex, to the extent where it sometimes hurts A’whora’s own feelings. It doesn’t make sense that she’s in such turmoil about a pathetic joke.

“So you’re…” A’whora puts the pieces together, frowns at her deeply. “...what, annoyed at me?”

Tayce doesn’t reply. Her hands are still over her face. A’whora’s gut ties itself in a knot.

“How come? What have I done?” she asks, instantly hating how pathetic her words sound as soon as they’re out of her mouth.

“I just feel humiliated, alright, A’whora?” Tayce sighs exasperatedly, hands suddenly launching themselves away from her face. She won’t look at her. “I’m sick of being embarrassed while you laugh along with the shitty jokes like an idiot. There. Happy?”

A’whora’s bottom lip sticks out in response to Tayce’s words, feeling like she’s been punched in the stomach. It’s the delivery that’s almost worse; Tayce isn’t a shouter, and her anger isn’t loud, instead quiet and muted and so out of character. Her annoyance clashes so violently with the way she expresses other emotions that it knocks A’whora for six. She’s confused and she’s hurt and that feeling of dread just won’t go away.

“Tayce, I can’t...I can’t apologise to you and make up if I don’t know what I’m apologising for. I’m really sorry I’ve made you feel like shit but...I don’t get how me laughing at Lawrence’s stupid jokes has affected you that badly?”

“Brilliant. Because famously any apology that’s followed by a “but” is always an award winner,” Tayce finally looks at her through narrowed eyes, sarcasm dripping from her words.

“You’re being unfair,” A’whora says, unable to help the way she glares back at Tayce. The upset and the guilt is slowly being mixed with frustration and irritation, the emotions seeping together like watercolour paints down a drain when Tayce washes her paintbrushes. “I want to give you a proper apology, but I can’t if you don’t tell me what I’ve done wrong. You’re this upset over me laughing at a couple of jokes? I don’t buy it. Tayce, what are you not telling me?”

Tayce gives a laugh of irritated disbelief, launches herself up to a sitting position. “Oh my God, do you hear yourself? You’re literally telling me I’m not allowed to be as annoyed as I am about the situation? ‘You can’t be this upset over a couple of jokes’, well what if I am?”

A’whora falls quiet, but she can feel the fury bubbling in her blood, simmering under her skin until there’s goosebumps forming on her arms and she has to fold them across her chest, hoping that the slight hug she’s giving herself is going to make her feel better. She bites her lip as she flounders in her thoughts, not quite drowning but not quite keeping her head above water either. She needs some coherency. Nothing seems to make sense.

“Tayce, please. What is going on? You’ve been off with me for a while,” A’whora sighs helplessly. A little puzzle piece slots itself together in her brain, a small speck of clarity in the chaos of her thoughts. “In fact things haven’t been the same since everyone found out about us.”

“Don’t just start making shit up,” Tayce shakes her head, but her voice is quieter and with less conviction than it held previously. It sounds as if even she doesn’t believe what she’s saying.

It’s with this that A’whora seems to find another puzzle piece, and then another, and then another, until they all fall together as a clearer picture with only perhaps one or two bits still missing. The fact Tayce hates the jokes. The fact Tayce gets embarrassed when A’whora laughs at them. The fact Tayce only seems to be herself when they’re together just the two of them.

“Oh my God,” A’whora says quietly, realisation making her face drop. “You hate that people know.”

“You know what? Yeah. I kind of do,” Tayce’s voice is heavy with exasperation, and she huffs another sigh that seems to rip through her whole body. The irritation flares up at A’whora’s heart again like a pilot light, and she feels her hands fly out wildly and her voice raise as she speaks again.

“Christ, Tayce, well if the idea of the others knowing we’re shagging is such an embarrassing prospect to you then where the fuck do we go from here?!”

Tayce shakes her head, rubbing her forehead with a free hand. “I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to. So what now, then? What, you just want us to stop?”

And then it’s only in the way Tayce avoids her gaze and the silence of the pause that follows that A’whora feels her worst fear launch itself into the forefront of her mind, so visceral and powerful that it seems to grab her throat in a chokehold, rendering her incapable of saying anything more.

Another puzzle piece falls into place. The fact that the reason A’whora secretly likes Lawrence’s jokes is the same reason why Tayce doesn’t; because they’re a reminder that, for all intents and purposes, that they’re together, that they’re seen as a unit.

Maybe Tayce doesn’t want that.

A’whora finally speaks again, her voice plaintive and small as it breaks the silence like a mirror. “Tayce?”

Just as Tayce exhales, runs a hand through her hair, and opens her mouth to speak, there’s a cataclysmic screech from down the corridor in the direction of the kitchen, followed by a litany of swearing in a voice that couldn’t be anyone but Lawrence’s. They both immediately look at each other in horror and, even though there’s still a sick feeling of dread in A’whora’s stomach, she shoots up from her seat and opens the door to Tayce’s room. As she runs down the corridor urgently, Tayce is following after her.

What they find in the kitchen is nothing short of chaos; Tia and Veronica are standing in the middle of the room helplessly while Ellie stands near Lawrence in the same way a lion tamer would approach a lion, as Lawrence hisses and growls and clutches her hand. It soon registers to A’whora what’s happened judging from the blood on the countertops, the blood on the kitchen knife, the blood on a half-chopped carrot, and the blood that’s currently flowing out of either Lawrence’s fingers or her hand (A’whora doesn’t want to look hard enough to check).

“What in the name of Christ has happened here?!” Tayce asks quickly, as Lawrence looks at her with exasperation.

“I don’t know, Tayce, I’m no Taggart, but it would appear I’ve sliced my fucking finger off!” she bites back sarcastically, tears of pain in the corners of her eyes as Ellie tries to hand her the kitchen tea towel. Lawrence looks at it as if Ellie may as well have handed her a toddler’s shit-filled nappy. “Not the tea towel, are you off your nut?! I cannae mind the last time we washed that. I’ve sliced through my fucking finger, I don’t want to add sepsis into the fuckin' mix!”

“I’m just trying to help!” Ellie fires back, equal parts hurt, worried and cross.

“I’ll get a clean towel,” Tia says quickly, running through to her room with urgency.

“Should we call an ambulance?” A’whora asks, biting her lip and unable to do anything except watch the events unfold. Veronica shakes her head.

“It’s not really life threatening, we shouldn’t phone 999.”

“Not life threatening?!” Lawrence cries in outrage, as Tia returns with a towel and hands it to her. “Have you seen the amount of blood I’m losing? I’ll be amazed if I’m still alive within the hour!”

“Don’t be dramatic. It looks worse than it is,” Ellie shakes her head, helping Lawrence wrap the towel around her hand and getting blood on the sleeve of her jumper in the process. The gesture renders Lawrence less hostile towards her than she seemed to have been before, and she grips Ellie’s hand with the one she hasn’t injured.

“I think it’s Accident and Emergency or Minor Injuries for something like this,” Veronica explains calmly, looking at her phone where she’s presumably just looked the information up.

A’whora turns to Tayce quickly. Even though they still haven’t resolved their argument, their friend is still in need of help and they have to work together. “Could you drive her?”

Tayce pulls an awkward face, looks at the blood splatters surrounding Lawrence. “Is there not a bus that goes out to the hospital? I’m just thinking about the stains in my car-”

“Aw aye, that’s right, yeah. I’ll hop on the number six out to A&E just so you don’t get blood stains in your ‘13 plate fuckin’ Corsa,” Lawrence snaps, Ellie looking at Tayce with a similar incredulity.

“No, no, you’re right, fuck, of course,” Tayce shakes her head, running her hands down her face. Even after everything they’ve said, A’whora feels her heart hurt for Tayce; she’s clearly distressed by the sight of the blood, and A’whora can see her growing more tense with each passing second.

“If you drive I can come with you and keep an eye on Lawrence while you concentrate on getting us there,” she suggests. Tayce nods with a grim acceptance.

“Okay. I’ll need someone to direct me anyway, I’ve got no idea where the fuck I’m going.”

“I can come and sit with Lawrence in the back and A’whora can do the directions?” Ellie immediately suggests. It seems as if her argument with Lawrence has been forgotten, and the two of them are still holding hands.

“Okay, great. I’ll get my keys,” Tayce shrugs, dashing out of the room.

Tia turns to the rest of the girls. “While you guys are gone, me and Ronnie can clean up? I don’t know if we’ll get our deposit back at the end of the year if there’s blood stains on shit.”

“Tia, babes, there’s a human element to all of this, fuck the deposit!” Lawrence hisses, her eyes squeezing shut in agony. Ellie’s face is distressed, and her eyes dart to the kitchen cupboards.

“Do you want ibuprofen? Might help with the pain?” she suggests. If the situation wasn’t so dire, A’whora would laugh.

“Are you joking?” Lawrence asks incredulously, then upon seeing Ellie’s face realises she isn’t. A’whora watches as Lawrence pulls a face and a tight, uncomfortable smile takes hold on her face. “No. I don’t think ibuprofen is going to do much good somehow. But thank you for offering.”

Tayce returns with her car keys and rallies the four of them out the door, getting some odd stares from the other students in the courtyard as they run past frantically, Lawrence’s entire hand still wrapped in a too-big towel. They have to jog for a considerable length of time to get to Tayce’s car, the busy nature of the winding city streets rendering parking anywhere near their flat nigh on impossible. Usually A’whora wouldn’t mind the distance. Usually she’s happy to stroll easily, one hand in Tayce’s and the other relaxed by her side, butterflies in her stomach and a tug in her chest as they talk about their plans for wherever they’re headed.

This time, though, with an argument still hanging over their heads like a thundercloud which isn’t yet resolved and a friend with half a finger hanging off, the journey to the car is more than a little unwelcome.

Soon enough though they’re all scrambling to get inside, Ellie helping Lawrence with her seatbelt in the back seat and A’whora scrolling her phone ferociously to bring up Google Maps for the directions to the hospital. Tayce drives irresponsibly with scant regard for road safety regulations. In any other situation, A’whora would find it insanely attractive that Tayce is driving like she’s in a game of Gran Turismo just to get Lawrence to A&E quicker. Fuck, she does still find it attractive. But her stomach is still in a huge tangled-up knot over the note their conversation got left on.

“What actually happened, Lawrence?” Tayce asks, A’whora having to hold in her gasp of a reaction as Tayce narrowly avoids getting rear-ended while pulling out into the overtaking lane of the dual carriageway.

Lawrence gives another hiss of pain before she answers. If A’whora didn’t blink she could’ve sworn she saw Ellie squeeze her hand in the rear-view mirror. “Was talking to Veronica and Tia while I was cutting up the carrots. They said something and I turned around to respond and I didn’t look as I chopped. Stupid fuckin’ cow.”

“You’re not stupid. It’s an easy thing to do, I’ve nicked myself so many times when I’ve been cooking!” Ellie placates her. Lawrence gives a laboured chuckle in response as A’whora checks the map and tells Tayce to take a left at the next roundabout.

“Aye, fuck’s sake. The most un-co-ordinated, clumsy bitch is sat beside me with all ten fingers in tact after nearly a year of having to fend for herself meanwhile I’m sat fighting for my life. Honestly, if you fell in the Clyde you’d come out wi a salmon in your mouth.”

A’whora sneaks a look in the mirror to see both girls giggling softly and quietly, their gazes either in their lap or out the window. They’re still holding hands. A’whora thinks it’s ridiculous to be jealous of two girls who haven’t even so much as kissed, but their soft friendship and what could eventually become a mutual crush makes her nostalgic for what she and Tayce used to have.

They eventually arrive at the hospital, and once they’ve all collectively recovered from the prospect of having to pay £5 for parking they run into A&E and up to the little desk, where it takes an infuriatingly long length of time to check Lawrence in. They then are required to wait amongst the other invalids of the city on four hard blue plastic chairs, which are uncomfortable after five minutes, never mind how long Lawrence will inevitably have to wait to be seen.

The little whiteboard on the wall says that the wait time is eighteen minutes.

The conversation between the four girls is stilted; it’s not the free and easy style A’whora has come to expect between any of her flatmates. But there’s still two sets of arguments without a resolution that’re preventing them from interacting like they usually would, and a hospital waiting room that’s already covered in a blanket of tense, awkward silence shared between strangers is not the place to reconcile either of them.

Eventually, and long after the promised eighteen minutes, Lawrence’s name is called. She half-walks half-jogs up to the nurse at the little door through to the hospital, then hesitates as she reaches her.

“Can I have one of my friends in with me?” A’whora hears her ask, her voice still strained and the pain she's feeling evidently still very much present.

The nurse nods kindly, and as Lawrence turns around there’s a sudden hesitation to her usually confident body language.

“Ellie?” she calls over, gesturing with her free hand for the other girl to come with her. Ellie barely even looks back at A’whora and Tayce as she gets up from her seat quickly, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she follows Lawrence into the hospital.

There’s a moment’s silence where A’whora looks at the squeaky green linoleum floor, and then Tayce speaks.

“Aw. You’re welcome, love,” she says, soft and sarcastic and already putting a little smile on A’whora’s lips. “All I did was drive you out to the arse-end of the suburbs to get your finger sewn back together. But go on. Pick Ellie. Heard getting stitches is a great time to shoot your shot.”

A’whora laughs softly. Maybe this whole situation has been forgotten about. Maybe their entire argument was just a dream (a nightmare) and she’s just happened to have woken up in a hospital waiting room.

And then Tayce gives a heavy sigh, her body tense beside her own. No such luck.

A’whora thinks it’s apt that they're stuck in the waiting room. She feels like she’s waiting herself. For what, she doesn’t know. Waiting for an end to her and Tayce’s conversation from earlier, waiting for closure. Waiting for Tayce to reassure her that things are okay between the pair of them, or at least for her to explain what she’s meant to have done wrong. With every passing minute her stomach grows tighter, to the extent where it’s almost painful. She feels like following Lawrence and Ellie through those doors to get it checked out. Her heart rate alone would probably break the machine.

Sitting in the heavy emptiness of the lack of conversation, A’whora attempts to muster up the courage to breach the topic they both had to drop so frantically earlier that day. The thing is, she doesn’t want to. The fear of not knowing Tayce’s response to her question- the fear of the worst-case-scenario answer- is enough to lock A’whora’s jaw shut. If she doesn’t speak, they’ve still got what they’ve got. If she doesn’t speak, their relationship hasn’t changed.

She’s not even fooling herself.

Sure enough, Tayce eventually gives another huge huff. A’whora can see her turning to look at her but she doesn’t tear her eyes off the floor. She doesn’t want to acknowledge the conversation that’s about to take place.

“I’ve been thinking about what you asked me earlier.”

A’whora stays still and quiet, like a child hiding under her duvet. Tayce’s tone doesn’t hold a lot of promise. It’s flat and quiet and sincere and so lacking in life that maybe A’whora can try and pretend it’s not her that’s speaking at all.

“And I think, yeah. I think we should stop.”

A’whora is glad she’s looking at the floor. It’s suddenly an anchor that she never knew she needed. The walls of the hospital seem to crumble, the people around her seem to disappear. Her gaze is concentrated on the shiny green, that horrible shade of shiny green, and she holds onto it because if she lets go she’s going to have to look at Tayce and she can’t look at her right now. Not if the way her eyes are stinging painfully and her heart has dropped into her stomach and her throat has gone all tight and constricted as if she’s being choked is anything to go by.

“I think things have changed between us and I don’t want to lose the friendship we’ve got. And to be honest, the others knowing is weird. And we said it’s only awkward if we make it awkward, and I think at this point things are awkward. So...yeah. We should go back to just being friends,” Tayce continues quietly.

A’whora barely even registers her words, just their pitch and tone that burrs like an organ at a funeral. There’s a horrible, sickening sense of finality that grips her body, so much so that she feels as if she can’t move. If she moves she’s acknowledging that life goes on, that Tayce’s decision is final. The small background noises that were once so present in the room seem to cease to be, and instead a ringing, buzzing silence fills her ears. She blinks and she’s relieved when tears don’t appear. She takes one slow, deep breath and takes her time before she trusts herself to speak.

“Okay.”

What else can she say? She’s not going to sit and plead and ask Tayce why, even though she doesn’t really understand her reasoning. Tayce doesn’t owe her an explanation; they weren't girlfriends, she reminds herself cruelly, and it’s not as if they’re breaking up. They’re just...stopping. Going back to being friends, just like that. As if nothing had ever happened. It’s something that’s clearly going to be easy for Tayce to manage.

A’whora feels like an absolute idiot. For being in too deep, for doing exactly what Ellie had said would happen way back in December when she first got with Tayce. She feels like she’s sunk with her heart to the bottom of the ocean and has to swim to the surface and her lungs are so tight as she tries to keep her breathing steady that she feels like she might as well be drowning.

She’s being dramatic. Maybe she isn’t. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know what this is all meant to feel like.

Tayce doesn’t say any more, so neither does she. She keeps her blinking methodical and her breathing deep, having to concentrate on doing both. When she’s sure she’s mastered them, she brings her hand up to the pocket of her hoodie and takes her phone out.

How can it feel weird to move?

Her fingers are slow and deliberate as she hits each letter on the keypad. Ellie’s Whatsapp picture stares back at her, her happy smile clashing so violently with the situation at hand. Maybe it’s a strange first reaction, but A’whora is just going through the motions like a robot. Anything beyond not crying in front of Tayce is a bonus right now.

A: me and Tayce not together anymore please tell the others x

She stares at the screen after it’s sent, reads it over and over again torturing herself. She hopes Ellie will read it before she and Lawrence come back. Having to act as if everything is normal is so far beyond her at the moment.

It takes what must be her twentieth time reading her own message to realise what she’s sent, and in spite of everything she feels like laughing at her mistake.

Because she and Tayce were never together.

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listless-brainrot · 3 years

Note

do u have any jet headcanons?? :0 or any freedom fighter stuff in general

ALSO i rly love your blog btw ksfksksk

ALSO ALSO a small jet for ur consideration:

thank you for this BLESSED small jet i accept him with open arms.

i will now return the favor with a LOT of headcanons for both jet and the freedom fighters. like a LOT a lot

and tysm!! i really like your blog too, you seem really cool!!

Jet

-practically Exudes dad/eldest sibling energy. good at being one too

-has a way with kids that confuses others sometimes. in that “knows just what to say to calm a crying kid down” way you know

-his “cool teenager” attitude??? 100% a front. he simply acts this way because he knows he’s got people lookin up to him

-due to his paranoia, when he gets anxious, he often picks at his own sleeves, hence why they’re so ripped. this is also why he chews on his stick/wheat. chronic but subtle fidgeter

-he can’t... read. he can only read some parts of script. this leads to many absurd misinterpretations when things are written down

-extremely crafty and clever!! built his own freakin’ base in the trees!! i like to think that he whittles and carves in his spare time

-often whistles while he works, and since it’s shown that the whistling is a code in canon, probably uses it to secretly talk shit with the freedom fighters lmao

-if you hear a bunch of birdcalls in his forest at night, it’s not because it’s mating season. it’s tea.

-personally i hc him as red-green colorblind. this is The only explanation for the way he dresses. that and also i’d like to imagine that he genuinely doesn’t realize he’s Not wearing brown

-i think he used to have siblings. i don’t like to think about it too hard.

Smellerbee

-can be extremely snappish, but everyone agrees that she’s one of the kindest in the group

-has a sisterly relationship with jet and genuinely looks up to and admires him, there’s a reason why their hair looks pretty similar

-extremely skilled with a knife to the point where, sometimes, that’s all she needs to take soldiers down

-has the braincell of the group most of the time. no she will not share it. go get your own

-the other freedom fighters affectionately call her “badgercoon”. started putting paint on her face to officially live up to it

-she has a birthmark under her bandana! i like to think that it’s heart shaped. only longshot and jet know it’s there

-she says trans rights! when she came out, the other freedom fighters were really supportive once she explained, and she’s been proudly herself since

-is pretty much an older sister to the duke, which was a role she initially didn’t want, until she spent enough time with him to learn that, yeah, he’s a cool little dude

-totally did not teach the duke how to use a knife. absolutely did not do this. sure! pin the knife thing on the knife girl!

-the headband is from her mom. the scrap tied around her arm is actually a part of longshot’s shawl.

Longshot

-selective mute and possibly on the spectrum, only comfortable with talking minimally, even around the freedom fighters

-which is cool, they’ve found that he speaks volumes with his face alone and all have their own little ways of figuring out what he’s saying

-is it cliche to think that he’s the strong silent type with a soft side? perhaps. but this is what i think he is

-he was one of the first freedom fighters jet found, and the two have been extremely close ever since. smellerbee was the second

-archery skills are extremely precise to the point where it could be comparable with the yuyan archers!! the kid is EXTREMELY talented

-so quiet to the point where people often don’t realize he’s in the room. he absolutely uses this to his advantage

-going off of that, he turns up in THE weirdest places. no one can explain it. he was in his hut one moment and is at the top of the tallest tree the next. everyone Hates playing hide n seek with him

-best friends with smellerbee; both often work together as a team on missions, with her close range fighting style and his long range one going hand in hand

-his favorite food is sticky buns!! they stole some during a raid and he’s been secretly craving them since

-the hat doesn’t have any special meaning to him, he’s said before. it’s practical, just like him. though, he’s never been seen without it.

Pipsqueak

-we don’t see much of him but he seems such like a neat, big hearted guy!

-i don’t know how old he is and i’m too afraid to ask. but i’d like to think that even if he’s older than the rest, he gets along well with these kids either way

-his laugh is extremely infectious, even if he does have a tendency to laugh at pretty much everything

-helped with a majority of the base construction, using his strength to carry the wood high up and hold it all together

-maybe he was an ex-earth rumble fighter?? i’m not sure how that would work but he’s certainly got the strength for it

-all the freedom fighters were at least a little scared of him at first, but quickly warmed up to him

-is actually a pretty good cook!! everyone looks forward to when it’s his turn to make dinner (on the contrary. smellerbee, unfortunately, cannot)

-has a strong relationship with the duke, and he’s always lookin out for the little guy, making sure he’s staying in check and not getting too outta hand

-the duke thinks that pipsqeak is one of the coolest guys around (bar jet) and will find any and all excuses to sit on his shoulders. he likes to feel tall!!

-doesn’t remember much about his village or where he came from. joining the freedom fighters gave him a sense of identity again.

The Duke

-due to being the youngest in the group, all the freedom fighters are extremely protective of him

-also due to being the youngest in the group, he’s not the biggest fan of this treatment, and alternates between taking advantage of it and despising it

-no one taught him how to fight like that. he just started dropping from the trees to attack outta nowhere. everyone just kind of went with it

-for the love of god don’t let him around candy. he will NOT calm down for DAYS. jet learned this the hard way

-often tires out easily and can be found napping in various places around the base; the only time he doesn’t nap is when he’s on patrol, and even Then

-only jet and pipsqueak can call him “duke”. the The is very important to him and if you just call him duke he gets mad

-he and smellerbee used to not get along much, with smellerbee insisting she’s no babysitter and the duke insisting that he doesn’t need to be babysat

-now though they get along really well, and they totally don’t mess with the other freedom fighters. pranking?? absolutely not. they’re innocent!

-likes to draw!! they don’t have a lot of paper or brushes, but one time they stole a calligraphy set and the duke proceeded to use it all up in one sitting (his paintings are now hanging in the freedom fighters’ respective huts)

-he found the helmet during a raid once and begged the rest of the group to let him keep it. he’s been wearing it since! both longshot and him bond over important hats

Sneers

-i don’t like him. he had an uncle he could’ve been staying with this whole time and instead freeloaded with a bunch of homeless kids til it wasn’t convenient for him. he gets no headcanons.

General HCs

-all those funny sounding names the freedom fighters have? those were little nicknames once. they were the ones who chose to keep them

-the definition of found family, and will do anything and everything to protect it and their home

-when jet destroys gaipan, the duke and pipsqueak becoming so disillusioned with him and leaving, along with other kids, upset jet for weeks

-them leaving was one of the first things that encouraged him to leave for ba sing se

-he was going to go alone, leaving smellerbee and longshot in charge, but they join him later on, not wanting him to face this alone

-all the other kids who are left can take care of themselves, but that doesn’t mean he’s got to

-despite initially protesting, jet lets them come along, internally glad that he isn’t facing this alone

-though they’re all lost and barely have a clue on what to even do, they settle on ba sing se; the most important thing for them is to be somewhere else that the fire nation can’t reach. this way, they can heal properly

-they heard “impenetrable great wall” and thought that would be absolutely perfect for them!

-they miss him.

-a lot.

7 notes · View notes

gwoongi · 5 years

Text

𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗎𝗌 ✰ taehyung (7)

𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗎𝗌 kim taehyung / reader genre: zombie apocalypse au words: 4228

It felt shit to feel thankful of someone’s screaming. Mostly, Taehyung was happy it was them and not him.

a/n: funny story, i submitted this chapter as part of my creative writing portfolio and the prestige uni i sent it off to loved it and accepted me :D hopefully thats a nice indication on whether or not this is good :S

warnings: extremely graphic content, sexual pain, graphic torture, gore, violence, death, Humans Suck

01. denver ↝ 02. holiday with me ↝ 03. sad forever ↝ 04. surely ↝ 05.scorpion ↝ 06. shakespeare ↝ 07. thrones ↝ 08. moon motel

The group leave the trailer park three days later.

Bundling everything of use into the back of the truck, which seemed darker in colour since the last time it was used, you had found you enjoyed leaving more than you did settling in. Packing everything into correct places had always been such a bore, even at a young age. You remembered when you were eight, and moving in to your grandparents’ home in the outskirts of Denver. Was this really Denver? It was a small town, barely noticeable amongst the cluster of trees and ferns, but nonetheless peaceful, ‘perfect for a new place to start fresh’. Yeah, it only took around an hour and a half to get to school every-day, but don’t worry, it’s a fucking perfect place to live, aged eight, as an orphan. It took you around eleven months to finish emptying each box.

But four years ago, throwing everything into a backpack and into the boot of a car you nicked from down the road, it had been so easy. It was so easy to throw everything out and keep what you really needed. Easy to forget to pack a jacket you had been given for Christmas off an aunt you barely knew, easy to remember to pack all the knives out of the kitchen and the forbidden gun your grandfather used to hunt deer in the winter. It was rather symbolic- pretending people were deers as you shot them between the eyes.

“That everything?”

Namjoon stood, risen off the ground, his hand on the bar of the roof of the truck. Taehyung stepped down the plastic steps from the trailer, not bothering to lock the door, knowing nothing in there was of any value. At one point, the rainbow-glassed fruit bowl might have been of value, sentimental value or something. Now, it was worthless, with a lightning bolt crack down the middle.

“Yeah, good to go,” Taehyung replied, hovering when you climbed into the back to join Kyungmin. He waited, not knowing what for, only mildly embarrassed when you turned to see him staring. “You okay?”

You nodded once with a smile. “Mm. Are you?”

“Yeah. Sorry, I-”

Somehow, he hadn’t realised you shuffle to the open back doors to pull him in for a simple kiss. It was that quick and simple that he almost missed it. His eyes opened to the sight of you in front of him, your hands holding his face, rubbing the stubble around his jaw.

“You’re holding us all up, you know.”

“You’re holding me up,” he muttered, peeling your hands off his face and pressing a kiss to your knuckles, somehow finding the strength to let go and at the same time, make his way to the front of the truck. The whole vehicle shook as you pulled the back doors closed, submerging Kyungmin and yourself in familiar darkness.

“You got a map anywhere?” Taehyung fuddled in the glove compartment as Namjoon started the truck up. He pulled out a worn map, the same one you had used to direct the both of you out of Denver. Namjoon didn’t care for the quality, muttering a hasty thanks and peeling it open, staring at the lines and faded colours. “Keep heading East, as if we’re going to Georgia. Hopefully, we’ll catch Seokjin and his crew of fans on the way there.”

“And if we don’t?” Taehyung asked. When Namjoon fell silent, Taehyung’s lips pulled into a tight frown, “I’m just asking for the future. You’re not coming to Georgia. We’re going. I wanna know what our plan is before we put ourselves in danger in the middle of nowhere.”

Very aware of the compartment slider down, Namjoon found it was difficult to pick a solution that would best suit everybody. Kyungmin wanted to stay with Taehyung and yourself, forgetting Korea entirely and heading straight for the islands off the coast. Namjoon knew you wanted to go to Georgia with everybody, hoping to stick together as a four, but if there was no other option, you’d go to find a plane. Taehyung wanted to get to Georgia with you, but wouldn’t be opposed to finding Seokjin. As for himself, Namjoon wanted to take the jeep to Virginia, leaving Taehyung and yourself on the road.

Everybody made tough calls. Those words echoed in his head. Above all else, Kyungmin was his priority.

“I wanna take the jeep,” Namjoon said slowly, aware of the frowns, “but I can help find a vehicle for you and Y/N to use to get to Georgia. When that happens...we’ll go our separate ways. Half to Virginia. Half to Georgia. Fair, and square.”

Kyungmin fell with a thud and a sigh in the back of the jeep, and Namjoon did his best to ignore it.

“Alright,” Taehyung agreed, believing there was no other way around it. As long as you and him were safe, he didn’t care how it happened. “Whatever you say goes.”

14TH MARCH, 5 YEARS AGO.

Jiyong: i’ll be round at like 7:30ish. lost my weed bag and i’m a junkie and cant leave without it

Y/N: i hope it kills you

Jiyong: watch me actually die

Jiyong: don’t cry at my funeral you fake friend

Y/N: KIDDING!!!!

Y/N: is...seunghyun coming

Jiyong: fuck off

Jiyong: hes banned from seeing you

Jiyong: i cant believe my best friend is fucking my other best friend

Y/N: i like to call it woohooing and we’re being safe

Jiyong: i cant believe this is happening

Jiyong: why seunghyun?????? why not youngbae he treats women nice

Y/N: idk!!! we just hit it off a lot

Jiyong: you’ve known him for like 5 minutes

Y/N: it’s literally been like 5 years but whatever

Y/N: can’t you just be happy for me? i’m living life getting laid being happy n shit

Jiyong: i respect it but i’m not coming to urs expecting to have fun watching goblet of fire for the millionth time only for you to give seunghyun a sweaty bj right in front of me

Y/N: that was one time Let It Go

Jiyong: one day i’m gonna fucking die and you’ll realise how badly you treated me

Y/N: stop you’re my best friend :-(

Y/N: what are you like jealous that im banging him and not you???? wanna join

Jiyong: yeah i’d literally rather fuck the girl from the ring

Y/N: kinky

[03:45am]

Jiyong: woah did you hear about the north korea shit

Y/N: im literally being pounded into Cant this wait

Jiyong: we’re gonna die because kim jongun wants to nuke us and all you care about is seunghyun’s 3 inches

Y/N: it’s just fake news dont worry about it

Y/N: how many times has he threatened nuclear war

Y/N: he should hurry up and do it before exams

Jiyong: just wanted to check up on you because ur nan is fucking mental and she’ll probably collapse tomorrow morning and panic buy loaves of bread

Y/N: stop omg

Jiyong: anyways stay safe love U please bring me my weed tomorrow morning me and Jennie are gonna get high and try anal

Y/N: sweet thanks

SOMETIME LATER.

Leaving the world behind through the back windows of the jeep, you were oddly reminded of the time you left everybody behind during a Summer many years ago. It had been a spur of the moment decision, something you never expected to do, but found yourself doing anyway.

It felt like a lifetime ago; you had almost forgotten about it, until now, until seeing a sign graffitied with a smiley face, reminding you of the “GRIME SIGN” back in your hometown, renowned for being the most graffitied sign in the city. Whether or not that's true, you never really found out. Seunghyun and Jiyong had come along too, for the moral support of being alone on the road. With Jiyong in shotgun and Seunghyun in the backseat, it had felt like something slap-bang out of a teenage coming-of-age movie, titled “3 delinquents on the road to God knows where”, directed by Quentin Tarantino. You didn’t even know how to drive. It was pure bliss.

“Any luck with the radio?”

Kyungmin rattling the small radio that had been picked up from the trailer park startled you, the memory of driving nowhere and everywhere at the same time suddenly gone like the wind. As your vision readjusted to the dark, you noticed that Kyungmin was pressing all the buttons and turning all the dials, a frown on her lips jutted outwards.

“Not yet,” she replied. “Just give me a few more minutes, I can probably get this thing working.”

Namjoon let out a soft curse, swerving the truck slightly to move around a left behind Volvo, the cars open like wings with a dried trail of dragged blood leading into the thick forest. Things like that were common accessories, famed like tourist attractions. Namjoon now thought of what the world was really like- could Paris be any worse than America? What was Iceland like these days?

“Nearly there, now,” Namjoon said vaguely, and Taehyung debated whether or not to reply, if there was even anything to reply with at all. That’s how things went now, short replies or simply none at all. When the world died, so did words. Namjoon thought that was funny, how the collapse of society could mean the collapse of communication and language.

“We’ll need to stop for gas,” Taehyung said, his voice barely above a third volume. From the back of the van, you sat with your face looking out towards the left behind road, your eyelids growing heavy at the sound of Kyungmin pressing buttons, and the hum of the van beneath your thighs. “We’re running on fumes.”

Namjoon grumbled a reply, mentioning something about a gas station a couple miles ahead, near the clearing in the woods, just off the road. It didn’t take long to approach, only around ten minutes if Taehyung were to count. At least three songs had played since then. Taehyung couldn’t believe he was now counting using songs.

The station was large, decaying and it looked unsafe. Taehyung didn’t exactly care about the safety of the building itself, just caring about how safe it would be in the long-run. Safe enough to hide inside? Safe enough to step inside? Safety in architectural design didn’t matter anymore. If it looked rusted, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

Namjoon pulled the truck into the station, immediately noticing a few canisters of fuel that was left for the purpose of using, a sign reading “STAY SAFE” stood up, stuck with black masking tape. The letters were dripping onto the concrete, a small pool of chalky white near the drain where a plant was starting to sprout.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Kyungmin’s voice made you look over from the canisters, a wrinkle between your brows. She smiled, generously, and waited for your reply. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

She was talking about the Great Escape the other day. You already knew that.

“Just curious,” she replied, the smile never wavering. “There’s not many people left in the world, you know. Next to Namjoon, you and Taehyung are all I have.”

A silence fell on the two of you, and all you could hear was the sound of Taehyung dragging a barrel across the gas station, dipping his head underneath a broken window and scanning the interior of the gas station.

“I’m here for you,” Kyungmin continued, her voice significantly quieter. “You know that, right?”

“Of course I do,” you replied, and your hand came up to stroke her forearm, a smile on your lips. For a moment, it didn’t feel like the apocalypse. In that moment, it felt like two best friends, reunited after a Summer break, the pine trees isolating them from the world, a Studio Ghibli film, released 2019.

And yet Kyungmin moved away, her gaze lowered as she passed across the gas station to meet Namjoon, already lifting canisters of gas towards the car to refill. Taehyung had emerged once again, his bag refilled with cans and cigarette packets, surprisingly a bottle of liquor in his hands as he stepped back into the bitter wind. Inhaling a breath, Taehyung crossed the width of the station and opened the passenger door to the vehicle, setting down his bag and the bottle, as if they were small children.

“There’s no way we’re making it to Georgia on time.”

Taehyung paused, throwing you a look over his shoulder. “What?”

“Let’s think realistically,” you reasoned, tugging at the cloth over his elbow. Above all, you didn’t want Kyungmin to be upset if she overheard. “It’s been...how long? Since we left the warehouse? I haven’t exactly been keeping up with the dates, but it’s been too long, Tae. Normally, it takes less than 24 hours to get from where we are- wherever we are- to Georgia. And yet, we’re still not near. I’m just-” you sighed, raking your hands through your hair. In the dim light, the grease was visible. “I think we’re out of time.”

“Y/N, they’ll be there,” Taehyung said. He didn’t know what else to say, frowning, “I thought you wanted to remain optimistic?”

“I do, but I can’t afford to hope to get to Georgia and find them there. And what?” you continued. Your voice had raised slightly, not enough to make Kyungmin or Namjoon ask questions, but enough to make Taehyung’s nose cringe at the increase. “We get there, and find them. Is anything gonna be the same? What if we get there and they’re gone and there’s no boats? What if we get there and something happens to any one of us? Tae, I can’t have that on me. I can’t have that on my conscience. Not again.”

Not again. “Yena wasn’t your fault, Y/N, you have to know that-”

“I don’t fancy being out on the road all night.” Namjoon stepped into view from around the front of the van, his hands shoved into the pockets of his distressed jeans. “Thinking we keep driving, turn in when it gets dark to the first place we see.”

“Isn’t that a little risky?” Taehyung asked, mentally making a note to continue your conversation later. “I mean, we have to really check the place before we head in.”

Namjoon frowned. “I know that. But, Kyungmin’s feeling kinda travel sick, and I don’t wanna overdo it, you know? Nights like back at the trailer park...I want more of them.”

Already moving to the back of the van, you pulled open the double doors and slipped inside, keeping them open in time for Kyungmin to crawl in after you. Her skin was a shade of ivory, whiter than earlier, as if the sickness had come suddenly like a simulation glitch. Wasn’t that what you were now? A glitch? An error in coding.

Namjoon shut the drivers door, groaning at the loud sound.

“Hey, man, you okay to drive?” Taehyung asked quietly, looking over from shotgun. “Look, if you’re tired, we can switch the orders around.”

Namjoon looked over weakly- “You’re sure?”

Taehyung unbuckled his seatbelt, dumping his jacket in the footwell with a sniff of stuffy air. “I’d prefer if you slept if you’re tired. ‘Specially when they’re in the back. Don’t wanna hurt them.”

He made a sort of grunt as a reply, switching seats with the younger. When he was sat in the passenger seat instead of the drivers, he let his head lull back onto the windowpane, feeling the chilly glass cool the back of his head. It was as if resting his head had added extra weight to his eyes.

“‘m gonna drive straight-ish,” Taehyung said with his tongue between his lips, backing up the van slowly and carefully. Namjoon opened his eyes slightly, squinting.

“Can you drive?”

Taehyung changed gears. “Yes.”

If Namjoon noticed that Taehyung paused, he didn’t mention it. In-fact, he closed his eyes again with a shrug, a half wriggle, resting his forehead against the glass, pushing towards the cool touch.

Taehyung had been driving for hours, for sure.

The time in the van was unlikely to be reliable, reading 5:19pm when the sky was as black as squid ink, the dim street-lights that somehow worked- probably solar - beckoning the group forward. In honesty, Taehyung had no idea how long it had been since the gas station, just long enough to give him a crick in his neck, the back of his thighs numbed. All things considering, Taehyung thought he was getting better at driving.

He flinched slightly as the divider to the back came sliding down, and your face popped out slightly, peering out the front window with sleepy eyes. If he had a free hand, Taehyung would have wiped the sleep from the corner of your eye, and he turned back to the road, oddly afraid of crashing the car with all four of you inside. Like yourself, he didn’t want that on his conscience. Like yourself, he couldn’t have it on his conscience, not again.

“Are we stopping soon?” you asked quietly. Namjoon shifted, making it known he wasn’t sleeping. He groaned, grinding the heel of his palm into his eyes, unbothered when dust and dirt smudged on his skin when he pulled away. He could look worse, he thinks.

“Nearly,” Taehyung replied. “I don’t know where to go from here. Last road was blocked, so, I’m trying to get out of here.”

Namjoon shifted, cracking his shoulder loudly. “You tried any back-streets?”

Instantly, Taehyung thought of the woman earlier in his trip. The way she screamed at the car, scratching at the rusty paint job, her eyes bloodshot and her skin a lime colour. He gulped the hot lump in his throat, “I’d rather avoid them.”

“It’s safer,” Namjoon continued. “Out of the way-”

Somewhere outside of the van, there was a loud crash, similar to the way you sound when you drop something at midnight when your parents are sleeping. The volume was loud, louder than anticipated, and Taehyung unintentionally stalled the van. Kyungmin jeered forward, hitting the underneath of her chin on the seats opposite, sending out a string of foreign curses to Taehyung in the driver's seat. He avoided the stare of Namjoon, deciding he didn’t want to see the deathly glare.

“What the hell was that?” you asked, cradling a throbbing pain on the side of your face after catching it on the separation between front and back. “Is someone here?”

Namjoon stayed silent for a moment, staring darkly into the outside. Taehyung didn’t know what to do except wait, ready to jump into action when Namjoon made a noise of surprise- or was it shock?- and slapped Taehyung’s hand with great panic, “Fucking pull up somewhere. Turn off those fucking lights. Fuck, fuck, fuck-”

“Jesus,” Taehyung cursed, doing exactly that as you leaned back to switch off the lights, submerging Kyungmin into darkness as the blood pooled in her mouth from earlier. She groaned something between her lips, holding her chin with her left hand as she picked herself up to lean over into the front, staring out at what Namjoon was watching across the small street. With the van now in darkness, away from the streetlight, you were invisible.

It wasn’t hard, locating the source of Namjoon’s panic.

Across the street, a flood of artificial white engulfed the street, barely missing the pull-in that Taehyung had moved into moments earlier. Namjoon slouched out of instinct, keeping his eyes on the road as he noticed three people dashing out into the darkness, the explosive lights following them as if they were automatic. They probably were, turning on as they stepped further and further away from the door they ran from. As they hurried past the hidden van, another noise pulled away your attention.

A large garage door screamed as it opened, in desperate need of oil, chains clattering against the metal interior. The light suddenly changed to an eerie green, something you saw in documentaries about weed farms. As it slid further up into the building, Namjoon hitched a breath as the sight of three sets of human legs came into view, dressed in stunning ebony, large guns by their hips. One of them smoked a cigarette, the smoke rising up like old Native smoke-signals. The middle guy pulled up his mask, covering his nose and lower face, and loaded the large Heckler Koch HK MG4 MG 43, aiming it swiftly at the little piggies running away from the slaughterhouse.

Taehyung knew that gun- the Heckler Koch never missed a target. He barely flinched when the gunman hit the kneepits of the runners, sending them to the ground instantly, their bodies buckling under the loss of legs. The screams were loud. Mama has the bacon, now.

The other two gunmen laughed loudly, approaching the pigs and picking them up to drag them back into the garage, a trail of blood marking the concrete like paint. He said something, the main gunner, and the two spares were taken away, possibly to die, maybe to a waiting room where they would await their death, as casually as they would waiting for a doctor’s appointment. The last runner, a man who looked to be in his mid-thirties, with already greying hair at the top, was pulled to the side of the room where three more men emerged, a woman amongst the pack with her hair sprawled out to her elbows, in mermaid curls. She was gorgeous, nobody could argue against that, with her body in a glamorous dress, something too glamorous for the apocalypse. On her feet, heels that presented her perfectly painted toes, a peachy shade.

“What’s happening?” Kyungmin asked. It was rhetoric. Everybody knew the answer.

The woman dressed in glam approached the slumped body of the runner, crouching to cup his face and stroke a thumb across the bags under his eyes, bleeding out with veins a bright red, the red of a freshly picked apple, the red line under a spelling error. She closed her eyes and leaned forward, putting her thumb over his lips and kissing her nail, before retreating and nodding curtly at the men around her. It was a signal, for they picked up the runner and began to tear off his clothes, leaving him stark naked, covered in purple bruises, tiny flowers on his skin.

Taehyung had seen things like this before- he was no stranger to the way the men beat the man with clubs and their boots, laughing at the way he retreated into his own skin, recoiling at every kick and screaming with every sickening club, until he accepted the fact that his body was their plaything. He watched, in morbid wonder, as they dragged him by his swollen balls to the center of the room, where a sharpened hook hanging from a chain off the ceiling swung threateningly, a bone being wagged in the face of a dog. The man whimpered, his eyes hurting, only barely making out his destination before his body shook violently.

The man picked him up as if he was a sack of sugar, with one hand around his neck, promptly planting him on the hook as if it were a throne. Now Taehyung had to close his eyes.

It was curling upwards, sharply, scraping every wall and nerve and good spot that ached. Yet, the men watched with wonder and satisfaction, clapping when he thrashed like a fish out of water. His legs were immobile, moving inches and with every movement came a grunt of pain, flashed with panic and agony from his rather pointy throne, and then the passing pain of his arm being cracked upwards.

The crack was loud.

From behind him, Taehyung heard Kyungmin make a small wheeze, hurrying into the back of the van, where Taehyung watched you pick her head up off the seats, your thumbs in a pool of vomit around her mouth. You didn’t even care about the sick on her knees, or the smell in your nose. Namjoon looked through the slot, dragging the divider up before the sound of retching made him sick, too.

You stopped listening to the retching, quietly shushing each whimper as Taehyung slowly started the van back up, grateful that he was covered by the sound of someone screaming in fucking agony. It felt so wrong, to be thankful of a tortured man. Cock and all, Taehyung was thankful he was screaming. The tyres of the van slowly rolled along the road, in the shadows, at a sluggish pace. Namjoon wiped away a line of sweat on his forehead, unable to look away from the man, thrashing like a pig, hanging like a sack of meat in a slaughterhouse, blood pooling now at the corner of his mouth, his eyes, his nose, dried blood at his ears.

It felt shit to feel thankful of someone’s screaming. Mostly, Taehyung was happy it was them and not him.

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otomates-a · 5 years

Note

🌹/🌺 with Selphy? if we wanna indulge the game or maybe with Sofia if we wanna do the crossover times 👀

LET ME KNOW YOUR SHIP IDEAS, I’LL RAMBLE ABOUT THEM.

↪ accepting / @rcguna.

🌺 — platonic ship & 🌹 — romantic ship inputs !

ah rune factory my one tru love & bias… if anything strikes ur fancy feel free to let me know… time to rant for 983475983475 years ok,

SELPHY & RAGUNA

RAGUNA’S RELATIONSHIP AND INTERACTIONS WITH SELPHY ARE SO PURE AND GOOD. selphy has really low self esteem and sort of (unintentionally) has a super low opinion of herself in general bc she knows she’s really ditzy and spacey… raguna really helps lift her up because he’s such a good person. i can imagine if she’s ever putting herself down too much, he’d be the type of person to either gently call her out on it and remind her she has a lot of good character traits or jokingly meet her in the middle and be like “well ur spacey sure but have u seen how ____ i am.” raguna softly helping her raise her confidence… bless

raguna would probably get stood up a lot by her… i’m sobbing… not in the “she intentionally did not meet me when we planned to meet way” but rather in the “oh my god selphy hasn’t eaten or slept in 3 days and she’s literally passed out in the middle of a forest under a tree again time to go scour the area and make sure she’s okay” way KJNHKJHNM i can imagine she’d actually spook him a lot because she takes such … bad care of herself … can’t even take her on adventures because halfway through the cave she’ll keel over and it’s like “SELPHY WTF” “i’m sorry raguna i just realized i have not had a sip of water in 2 days haha it be like that”

honestly tfw the local librarian’s life is in more danger from herself than urs is from monsters, i can see her probably pushing raguna to the point of having to be quite stern sometimes over her putting reading before taking care of herself

selphy thinks about other people more than herself tho so she’d absolutely be a worry-wart over raguna even from the moment they’ve just newly become friends. catch her occasionally sending him care kits full of herbs or materials he needs, medicine, etc, so he can take care of himself if he gets hurt.

she’d also try to give him a good luck protection charm at some point and it’d probably be handmade and also the ugliest thing he’s ever seen in his life but raguna is a good boy so u know he’d take it anyways jknmKJNM

despite everything selphy is extremely intelligent because of all her reading, though. there are times she reads very serious books & gathers info from them, so any time he needs ??? help ??? learning something new about the area or monsters or whatever he doesn’t even need to ask he can just barge into the library like “HEY,,”

selphy being a runaway princess tho i’m sobbing …. she wouldn’t really… ever bring that up until the two of them are extremely close, about how her country is in an uproar because she YEETED out of there and how she doesn’t trust knights or people who “treat her like a princess” …. and that’s why she likes raguna bc… he always just treated her like a person

selphy is??? super extra??? and loves communicating serious things via very fancy handwritten letters? any time she has something of major importance to tell raguna she’d totally send him a letter… and want him to respond back via letter… her literally just stopping anette each morning like “haha take this to raguna thanks!” game mechanics aside on an expressly #romantic note if feelings were ever confessed, it would mean more to her written on paper and u could bet the moment one of them sent that letter the other would probably come running and bust down their door to then Verbally Discuss It KJHNMKHJNM

she’s tol at 5′9″ she can look u directly in the eyes raguna … if she wears heels that day she’ll end up slightly taller than him so u better be ready to stand on some stairs buddy

the real danger to their relationship would be her passing out while reading in the bath and drowning. inb4 raguna begs melody to keep an eye on her any time she’s at the bathhouse 😂

bonus romance exclusive concept : selphy kissing raguna’s palm and saying it’s a spell to keep him safe during his daily adventures. she knows, she’s an expert.

SOFIA & RAGUNA

OH GOD FIRST IMPRESSIONS WITH SOFIA ARE ALWAYS…. they’re special. i feel like raguna would probably catch on a lot quicker than most, though. he seems like one of the few people who wouldn’t need it explained to him, he’d just pick up on it early on?? bc sofia’s expressions and actions never match how cruel her words are and raguna generally sees the best in people, so he’d likely be perceptive enough to notice that and be like “????????? are you speaking in opposites wtf weird but okay!”

that being said WOW SOFIA WOULD NOT KNOW HOW TO REACT TO RAGUNA AT FIRST because people “getting her” and being kind towards her (or, at least, accepting her as she is without making it weird, rather) is something she’s never really experienced. she would think he’s super weird and just messing with her… which would foster the doubt in the back of her mind that he actually hates her and is just being nice bc he’s nice to everyone, which is something he’d have to convince her she’s wrong about

after she adjusts to him though she’d love tagging along with him on adventures and would always be up for helping him out any time he leaves town, whether it be to just gather materials or battle monsters.

sofia doesn’t have many friends in the sense that she feels she annoys most people, so raguna being as sweet & outgoing as he is would catch her off guard most times … even small gestures of friendship fluster her because she doesn’t know what to make of it. hanging out with her would definitely feel special even if they’re doing something stupid, because just seeing him ??? would brighten her day ??? like she can’t believe someone as great as him would want to spend time with a liar like her

she will gift him garbage. it will be the worst gifts he ever gets, but she will hope he likes it… if he actually keeps any of it and she visits his house or anything and sees it, she will absolutely get teary eyed.

she will also absolutely keep anything he gifts her and display it in her room bc “raguna is (not special at all) and she (will always immediately throw away any useless give he gives her)”

she would have some insecurities ofc… she already thinks that the way she speaks causes people to dislike her, so even after convincing her that he doesn’t hate her, whether it be a strong friendship or romance that blossomed between them, he’d have to let her know that he’s okay with who she is. she’d undoubtedly go through a period of time where she tries to change herself to speak normally, then psyche herself out doing it. that scene where she says “i love you!” normally and the protag thinks she’s saying she hates him is canon no matter the relationship, #growingpains KJNHMKHJNM

but also eventually if raguna ever told her he loves her (either platonically or romantically, she’s struck through the kokoro by both) she’ll cry. a lot. but like happy cry. bonus points she’d cling to him if he threw in a point that he likes her BECAUSE of who she is

she’s literally never even held a hand before tbh so if their hands even accidentally brushed against each other she’d get so flustered raguna might have to worry she’s going to die

she’s only 5′0″, if raguna wants to kiss or hug or whatever, he’s either got to lean all the way hecking down or lift her up and that’s aesthetic

bonus romance exclusive concept : raguna having to slowly work his way up to showing his affection bc she’s so shy. first he has to just link pinkies with her. then eventually he can hold her hand. then lace their fingers. then link their arms. then he can kiss her knuckles. then her hand, then her cheek, etc, etc… he has to take Smol Steps and it’s cute.

WILL SMITH POSES. THERE U GO I #TRIEDMYBEST.

#rcguna #when i say i'll ramble ideas i'm not playin KJNMHKJHNMKJNM #THESE WERE CUTE BLESS #* . °◞ ❤ ooc.#anyways hi i love raguna... best rf protag i'll fight god for him

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personagf-moved · 5 years

Text

alphabet & soft questions ✨

I was tagged by my bb’s @prksjmiin (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didn’t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :’) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf

i’ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi 💘

honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily

Alphabet ask:

a // age: 21

b // birthplace: new jersey!

c // current time: 1:17 am

d // drink you had last: coffee

e // easiest person to talk to: my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool

f // favorite songs:

aint it fun - paramore

trivia love

honey - kehlani

abbey - mitski

moonlight - ariana grande

g // grossest memory: i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a week

h // horror yes or horror no: H O R R O R Y E S B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person i’ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc.

i // in love: with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man

j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess

k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bb’s :’)

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that.

m // middle name: padilla

n // number of siblings: 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)

o // one wish: to find true love

p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol

q // question you’re always asked: “why are you like this” (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday), “are you mad?”, “how old are you REALLY?”, “how’s your brother?” (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)

r // random fact about you: i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf

s // song you last sang: “abbey” by mitski :’(

t // time you woke up: exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lol

u // underwear colour: she be black

v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :’) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/

w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta people’s lives when i think they’re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone i’ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone who’s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and i’m trying to fix it

x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o

y // your favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby

z // zodiac sign: we’re a proud libra sun

Soft ask:

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes

What’s your aesthetic?

the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwu

What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

lately it’s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho.

What do you most like about the beach?

not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!

What do you worry about constantly?

when i’m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now i’m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. i’m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, we’ll figure it out!

What is a song you’ve cried to before?

oh boy...

trivia love

moonchild

first love

she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack

20 something - sza

26 - paramore

the letter - kehlani

landslide - fleetwood mac

when you see my friends - mayday parade

and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

as The World’s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Being™️ i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAO

but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves i’m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (they’re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)

What are some things that make you tear up?

the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world i’ll have to bring my future children into and how i’m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy

What is your favorite from each sense?

sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a person’s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh

smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn

taste - my mom’s cooking, good coffee on an early morning

sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise

touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a cat’s tummy, a baby’s cheeks, fingers running through my hair

What is an alternative reality you’d like to live in?

one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should

jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

for starters im ugly as shit so theres one

if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending over

but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out

What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

unfortunately i haven’t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnick’s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back. also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know people’s last words, realized that he would never know alaska’s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh auden’s poetry and to this day he’s still one of my favorite poets of all time.

Say something to your followers:

thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and i’d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!

#this is soooo long im so sorry oh my god

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tyrant-king-toru · 6 years

Text

Twas the nighto before SSK, and all were trying to get some fucking sleep. If one was to walk around, they would see older members offering drinks to some of th minors, hoping they would stop crying. Like shit, nothing has happened yet, and these kiddos are freaking out.

“This is why the groupu is dying.”

“Did anyone see Miichan?”

“Damn she’s still here? Lmao.”

“Shhh she could be around you idiot.”

Little did they know, she was around, but no one could see her. She’s long since evolved past carrying, some say she’s no longer human. Sometimes people will look at her and only see nothingness, a former shell of who she once was.

Why won’t she graduate?

Why?

Any fucking gay.

Texting away at her phone, Jurina sighed. She didn't know what to do with herself, she showered, worked out, even ATE two strawberries. But still found herself bored. She could ask Sakura to sneak accross the hall, but it was too fucking risky, everyone and they loose pussy grandma would k now about their arrangement if you can even call it that.

Rolling over in frustration, she was about to turn her phone off, but she suddenly got a phone call. It was namae wa she hasnt seen a long time des u. “Herro? Jurina”

“Sana!”

“Oh thank the lesbian goddess, I thought you changed your number. Whats up sexy?”

Ignoring the obvious attempt at flirting, Jurina debated hanging up. Sana was a mess, and thats saying a lot. Last time they talked, Sana left her on read after a steamy sexting sexssion. She was the only one to benefit from it too. JUrina wasnt just an easy bitch.

“Givwe me a reason not to hang up on you?”

“You miss me?”

“Goodbye.”

“Wai-”

Without missing a beat, Jurina hung up. She wasnt that fucking desperate.

“You know Sana from Twice?” Her room mate and fellow SKE member bird Akane came from the bathroom. It was awkward since they’re not really on frendlt terms, apparently once Churi mentioned being with Rena, Jurina wanted to cut ties witrh her.

But she grew out of i t, she jujst has to ignore the sad dokis now. “I know all the important lesbians.”

“...Right.”

Phone buzzing again like a vibrator in a porno, JHelen shut her phone down. She wasnt finna sleep, but talking to the horny twice member wasnt gonna happen either. At least not on her terms, and still no apaplogy either.

Sana had her fucked up tbh.

Fucking Morning of this bullshit.

“So no head?” Jyurina mumbled into her phone, pacing up and down the hall. Upon hearing the answer she didnt desire? She broke one of her many phones. Now she was pissed AND HORNEE. Like tis was actually homophopbic and illegal. She’ll have to sue for emotional damages. That girl’s career is over.

Whats worse is that definatyl didnt have anyone else to rely on (as usual) to help her in this sticky situation. She was wetter than the amazon forest during flood season. WEhn mentioned to Churi, she threatened to call the police if she ever uttered those words again.

Fucking coward.

“Oh my gosh, it’s Helen! Snepai! Dayskii!”

Waving at one of her nameless fans, she shot a wink towards her. Somehow while looking like a recovering addict, she still managed to make a few grisl swoon. Still got it.

Those who where blessed enough to be immune to that shit, couldnt help but look away in disgust. Not cause of the gesture, but cause of how MESSY Jurina looked. Love is blind, but jhelurina’s fans were fucking walking into walls.

“Hey, can we talk?” Upon hearing Sakora\’s voice, skelator turned to face her on and off again girlfriend. “Alone p[erferably.”

“Yah, whatever.” She tried to play ity off cool, but nothing about this 45 year old was cool or calm. She looked very close to passing out, and it was something sakera thought was cute. Maybe she had a mommy kink? She didnt really know.

Managing to find privacy someonewhere, the two didnt really get much talking done, cause helrina was still soaked and needed to be tasuketted. “Y-you didnt wanna talk, you fuckin slut!” Jason Derulo moaned!

An actual cherry blossom, smirked while nibbling on Jyurinasnan’s collarbone. The fact that the skin there was so abused was such a turn on. “U kno you wanted me to smahs you into the next timeline, so shut up?”

“MAke me.”

Before Helenrinasama could get her disired cummies, a knock o nthe door interruped them. “Ur ficking kidding me, I just wnanaa nut!”

“NBut?”

“I’ll explain later, go wash your arm”

#hi #if i had to write this and later read it when sober #then all of you should to #cursed fic is cursed

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cananybodysea · 7 years

Note

omg pls some headcanons for dating the awkward tree boy

me? writing about evan?? again??? ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

[If you sent in headcanon requests they may take a bit of time to complete cause i’m going back to the start of my inbox and answering headcanon requests from a while back up until the most recent! Hang in there i promise i will post your headcanons!!]

Ok, here we go kiddos.

Evan is so sweet. and soft. and he believes that being with you makes him a better person in every way. You make him feel so happy and you make him feel beautiful and valued and you listen to him and he feels like he can trust you with everything. He does everything in his power to make you happy.

His favourite place to have date nights with you is on the beach?? or at the orchard or the park or something. He prefers to go to the beach at night time when it’s very quiet and the sun is setting and you can sit on the sand and not care about anybody seeing you because the place is so empty! He likes sitting in the sand with you and smooching you and maybe y'all go get ice cream (even tho it’s almost nighttime) and you take your shoes and socks off and go dip your feet into the water. it usually ends in splashing each other and laughing and giggling and evan is so so happy when he gets to spend time with u like this. Also, when u go to the beach - he loves to find nice shells and take them home because he wants to collect them!! idk why,,, he just thinks they’re very pretty.

Whenever u go to the orchard or the park or something like that,, you n him will walk for a while, holding hands and he’ll point out all the ‘coolest trees’ and tell you stuff about them !! and it’s the cutest thing ever !! he really will just rant about how good trees are and how their leaves are all different and stuff like that. You and him sit on the grass for a while and just lie next to eachother and maybe play that game where you say what the clouds are shaped like ?? idk what it’s called - but evan loves it.

He has an Instagram - but before you started dating him he only had two photos on it. One of him and his mom and another of him getting his cast put on. After you start dating, he uploads a lot more. Not just pictures of you etc but he uploads photos of trees, of his mom, of himself! He’ll also upload videos or boomerangs of him walking through forests or whatever,,, and of course there are lots of photos of him holding your hand, or of you kissing his cheek, or just pictures of you that he captions ‘😇❤️’ He starts uploading a lot more because he learns how to use it properly from you and he feels a lot happier and does a lot more things after u start dating so he is able to upload more pictures if that makes sense.

Heidi adores you. I mean adores you. She has your phone number !! And she’ll text to sometimes saying ’Just made spaghetti! Feel free to come over for dinner if you’d like!! :-) ’ oh my god she’s so cute. Also, there’s times where Evan will come back from Jared’s or something and you’ll be standing in his kitchen baking cookies with heidi before she goes to work and he’s like ??? ok ??

ok so,, i feel like evan has a little scrapbook or something. Heidi bought him a polaroid camera for his last birthday and he found an empty scrapbook under his bed from years ago and his goal is to fill it up by the end of the year with things that make him happy. (His therapist said that this can help ease his mind and distract him if he’s feeling down)! so !! He has photos of you, photos of you and heidi, photos of him and you, photos of jared and zoe and alana and connor, photos of trees, a random cat he saw all alone in the street, he has photos of heidi making dinner, he has pictures his hand holding yours and stuff like that stuck down in this scrapbook. He looks at it whenever he’s sad or scared or having a bad night. He will always smile when he looks at his little book!!

Once when you’re doing your homework- you got a facetime call from evan and when you answered it he looked so happy and his nose was crinkling and !! he was so happy!! and he asked you if he could come over and you were like !! ok!! and when he arrived he practically tackled you onto your bed and started cuddling you immediately and you were like ?? what’s going on !!!! Turns out he was just happy that you love him as much as he loves you and he just wanted you to hold him. lmao

!!!!! u and evan always go to zoe’s jazz band concerts!!! and ur sweet boy loves it !!! he loves the music and he bounces in his seat while watching it and his little leg starts to jiggle and he sways a lil without even realising it !!! and it’s so cute because he genuinely loves this music !! he sometimes records their performances on his phone and uploads them to instagram or just watches them whenever he feels like it !! oh my god !!!!! it makes me giddy just thinking about this

i can imagine evan dancing to the music like that video of ben platt dancing with his wine glass… u know the one…. he looks so so happy… kinda like that but a bit less because he’s evan and he’s shy™

Ok you’ve probably heard me talk about this before but i will not live this headcanon down. Evan sits on your lap. He loves to just straddle you (not in a sexy way at all) he just thinks that it’s really comfortable and it makes him feel really nice and happy and he just loves to sit there.

Sometimes you’ll be in his bedroom studying, and he stands up to go get something but then he just turns around and walks over to u and kinda gives you the eyes™ and u smile at him and then he knows it’s okay to sit on ur lap. He just kinda…..slides…into your lap and shoves his head into your neck and his arms wrap around your shoulders and you pull him real close and oh my god your boy loves it. He goes bright bright red when he does it and sometimes if he’s feeling a lil tiny bit confident… he kiss ur cheek or ur neck (like one tiny smooch) !!!!!! and hnNnNnNnNg this is my favourite headcanon for him tbh.

He’s a lot more calm around u. Like of course he’s still very nervous and quiet at times because anxiety isn’t something that just goes away - but he’s able to be more relaxed around you because you make him feel so safe ?? and you’re so kind to him and you don’t rush him when he’s struggling to get the words out you just listen and you snuggle with him when he needs it and he loves you so much.

the boy can sing. he has a pOWERhoUse VoIce i mean it’s ben platt were talking about here!! Once you caught him singing,,, and he was really going for it,,,, he was singing his little heart out and he was so In The Zone he didn’t know you were there and when he saw you he was like !! oh no !! and started rambling and turned beet red and he….he was actually nearly crying he was so embarrassed but you just grabbed him by the shoulders and told him it was ok,,,, no evan i didn’t record u singing,,,, no evan i won’t tell jared,,,, no evan i didn’t think u were awful,,, evan nO

he tells u that he really enjoys singing,,, but he obviously wouldn’t do it in front of anyone,,, so he learns how to play piano and if you’re lucky….. sometimes when u go to his house he’ll play piano and sing for you. (only if u promise to not look at him)

There’s not really many nicknames tbh… it’s not a bad thing y'all have just never discussed pet names or anything… u kinda just call eachother by your names or sometimes u call evan ‘ev’! but,,, on rare occasions evan will call u babe. (only sometimes) and once you called him ‘gorgeous’ and he was. silent. he froze. and was bright red and almost crying because he loved it so much. so sometimes u say stuff like “i’ll see you later, gorgeous” and he’s. a goner. he almost whimpers and he’s like omg i love when u call me that.

he texts u every night just making sure you’re okay. and if he can’t get to sleep because his moms not home and he’s a little uncomfortable in the house by himself - you’ll come over or else he’ll facetime you and he just talks to you for a few hours and he’s constantly apologising for keeping u awake on a school night but you don’t care. he needs u and you’ll b there

i think he enjoys baking,,, him and heidi used to do it a lot but then she started working a lot more and she just doesn’t have the time for it now so he just kinda forgot about it

bUT,,,,one day he came to ur house after school and u were baking cookies cause u were rlly craving them and evan walked into ur kitchen and he smelt the cookie dough and he was like hnnnNnNnNnBbBGg,,,, yUm and he saw u standing there with flour all over ur hands and ur face and there were smudges of chocolate from the chocolate chips on ur fingers and evan was like,,,,, binch i want to bake

so he helped u with the rest of the baking and at first u were going to tell him what to do but then u realised,,,,. shit,,,,,,, he’s really good at this !! he doesn’t need ur help !! BOY !! and he was so in the zone and excited and he basically finished baking them for u tbh,,, !!

evan ends up with a little smear of chocolate on the corner of his mouth n ur like,, i wonder if i should do that cheesy thing and kiss it off for him,,

yES. he would love that

anyway, u both sit in ur bedroom munching on the cookies and smooching and watching tv and evan realised how much he missed baking so then it becomes a regular thing that u both do!!

i’ve done some kissing hcs for evan before,,, but,,, i feel like every single time after u kiss him - it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together - he will keep his eyes shut. like after u pull away he doesn’t open his eyes for a moment because wow he needs to take it all in cause ur lips are so soft and u love him and he loves kissing u and he just needs a minute. kinda like this ??? like u see how his eyes stay closed for a sec ?? and he’s got this look on his face that’s like :-) wow i just kissed someone i love !!! that’s what he does !!!!!!!!!!! i’m scremememememe kiss him !! pls kiss him

me, sobbing, clutching my hands to my chest, holding a million tissues: *INHALES* plEA SE !! give him some eskimo kisses ??!!!!2!2!/!3&/ !! hello !! they are his favourite !!!! oh my god !! he gets this warm fuzzy feeling in his belly !! when u rub ur nose with his and he does the nose crinkle and he’s smiling and giggling and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m sorry i love this boy !! can u tell

he. has. warm. fluffy. fuzzy. pjs. ! ! ! like??? he has lots of those winter pajamas that are fluffy and big and cozy and they have lil animals on them and some of them are sparkly and !!! he loves em !! also,,, in the summer when he can’t wear them he’ll wear like big tshirts and shorts,,, or else just boxers ya know ?? but he likes to wear slipper socks. cause his lil feet get cold very easily,, also he doesn’t like his feet being out in the open so he just wears them !! and u take lots of pictures of him in his cute night clothes because he’s just…. so sweet and cute and beautiful and he lets u upload them to instagram !! (u try to yell at jared every time he teases evan about it but he will never stop)

listen to me. listen good. listen close. listen hard. evan hansen. is a little spoon. always. (unless ur upset or u just want to be the little soon cause he’ll do anything for u.) it feels so nice for him when he gets to b the little soon. snuggle him and keep him safe pls.

idk if i mentioned this but uhhh… this is an au where the whole connor thing never happened and evan doesn’t lie or anything. yeet.

very much enjoys going shopping with you ?? idk dude,, he likes helping u pick out clothes and he likes to see u trying them on and everything! he thinks it’s fun to help u create outfits ,,, and he likes to shop at stationary stores because he always picks up little funky pens and weird photo frames and stuff ! and once the two of u went into a dollar store or something and it was completely empty (cause it was like 2am lol) barr like one member of staff that was busy!! so u played ‘the floor is lava’ and videoed it and out it on ur snapchat story and it to this day is the funniest thing,,. the look of fear on evans face when u say it,,, it’s so f u n n y!!

That’s another thing,,, when u or evan can’t sleep u call the other one and if they’re awake u both drive to the dollar store and pick up a few snacks and just sit somewhere quiet and eat them and talk about stuff ya feel ??

the secret to calming him down after a bad panic attack: read to him. Read him a book, or an article from a magazine, or just something that see on ur phone while runnin your hand through his hair and letting him sit on your lap and hide his face in your shoulders. (ps if the whole ‘having evan sit in ur lap’ thing makes u uncomfortable,,, then tell him and he will back off) He likes to listen to ur soft voice and the way ur talking is really nice and calming and he needs u right now to distract him from all of his thoughts etc.

also,,, he likes to doodle on ur hands with lil colourful gel pens that he found in his bedroom,,, he draws smiley faces and stars and flowers and trees all over ur hand (if u let him !!) and he giggles while he does it because he feels a lot better than he did 10 mins ago and he’s sitting there giggling with big red puffy eyes from crying :-(( and he looks so cute :-’(

at school, u two don’t like to show too much affection bc jared and connor will tease u endlessly, so he holds ur hand underneath the lunch table,, and smooches u if ur alone in the library or smth,, and its actually quite sweet?? ur relationship is v cute and private and special and :)))) u love him.

when prom finally comes around,, despite what people might think,, evan is actually excited,, because zoe’s band is going to perform !! and his friends will be there and it will be a good night. (he’s still a very very anxious bean tho). u go shopping for ur outfit with zoe and alana and connor (jared helps evan) ((so does connor)) !

so…. on the night….he’s wearing a dark navy suit, with a lil tiny yellow flower poking out of the pocket (heidi put that there) and his hair looks nice n curly,,, and he’s blushing because ?? he feels confident for once ?? he likes how he looks ?? and he can’t wait to see you ohmhykdosbaiab

u come to his house and when he sees u he like. has to stop and recollect himself because you look so unbelievably beautiful and ur here with him and ur dating him and he is so confused as to what he did to deserve it…. and he just takes a deep breath and walks towards u and gives u a big ol smooch and mumbles that he loves you against ur lips and !!! ughhhhh!!!

heidi took a picture of it happening and also took a whole load of pictures of u and evan in her driveway and posted them to facebook and wrote a nice paragraph about how happy she is that ur a part of her and evans lives and !!! eeekk !!!

the whole night was spent with ur friends and u did a little bit of dancing with your whole squad (after zoe’s band had finished performing) and after a few hours,,, u guys were like,,, hmmmm let’s go somewhere else. so you all went to a random field and sat there in your fancy prom outfits at like midnight just laughing and having a great time and it was the happiest you’d been in ages.

he loves you. so so so much. pls love him and treat him well.

send me an ask if you’d like me to do part 2 !!! i have so many more :))))

#i'm sorry there's so many lmao and u sent this like literally a month ago... i'm sorry #asks #headcanons #deh headcanons #dear evan hansen headcanons #deh x reader #dear evan hansen x reader #deh #evan hansen #evan hansen x reader

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warmau · 7 years

Text

more questions + stuff that arent requests that ive gotten!!! under the cut so i dont clog the dash~!!!

haha hmm a lot of people ask me about this,,,,but i think its just a matter of like wanting to improve and sort of forcing yourself to sit down and write,,,, like sometimes i dont wanna do it but i know itll help me get better and so i kinda go off that,,,or ill look for inspiration and itll help my motivation!!! reading also makes me really really wanna write so that might help as well ^^

thank you for the sweet compliments!!! idk i have always liked writing and i wanna get better so that motivates me to write more and more~~

fldsjgrjg this is a late response but thank you,,,,,(kinda made me think of a cute dad!au seokjin there woo)

omg,,,you’re so sweet thank you!! and yeah i dont read other fics but i know that a lot of aus and writing have mentioned physical attributes that dont fit all people and i know it sucks to read something and try to connect but you cant because the character is so far removed from your own experiences and looks,,,,i hope i can continue to make good content open to everyone!!

I get a lot of double, triple, sometimes ten of the same au request for the same idol so thats one of the reasons,,,,other times someone will ask for an au im not comfortable writing,,,other times its just a lack of motivation. i try to do aus + idols that get most requested since that’s what most people want to see ^^

@narwhait omg thats so sweet,,,ahh thank you so much for enjoying my work it means the world to me!!!

,,,,,omg,,,,corvus amadeus,,,,,he sounds like he’s probably gonna grow up to be a really cool guy LOL

omg,,,,im so happy that my scenarios feel inclusive,,,i always worry about getting super detailed but im overjoyed that you enjoy them!!!!

i get inspiration from a lot of different things,,,,sometimes from real life sometimes from photos or movies or just random ideas i think of on the train haha!! i also write primarily on my computer!!!

i speak my native language and a couple of others that are close to it!! im currently really interested in turkic languages as well as mandarin but i dont speak any fluently ~ my type??? im not sure if u meant like myer briggs or like in a person but i guess my type is someone who is funny and selfless ^^

i am jinyoung biased ^^

im good!! how are you??

thank you so much!! im glad you like it,,,and i have written for him!! you can find it in /search/hoshi+friends

ahhh i cant believe im on someones favorite list,,,im really thankful!!!!

@ch21n-nu glad to help!! <3333

thanks for the hug ;___;

@blogmarareactions im glad you like them!!!!! it means a lot when people say i get someones personality right~

AHH i hope you’re happy + healthy too thank you so much for such a sweet message ^^

senior year is the best year, but college will be so fun!!!

well,,,he iS technically still sorta a teenage boy so im just trying to get his personality right haha

me: crying rn

UR WELCOME IM FUNNY (sometimes)

my nct bias is sicheng ^^ (no one mention doyoung or taeyong to me)

omg thank you so much!! i really like kihyuns too~

I DO i love them so much,,,,,

be my gf

sicheng is literally?????? an angel???? tbh he has the most like adorable way of just . existing. how

i do,,,,,,,,,,i love cnu so Damn Much

si (like the sound in simple) + chung

probably one of the forest fairy aus!!

ok i used to do it too in high school,,,,,i think teachers are actually pretty appreciative of students that show interested (although their schedules can be hectic so)

,,,,,ok tbh tho writing ten in that au made me want a friend like him haha

thank ahhhh i like making them ^^

if ur a puddle of goo,,,,,how are you going to be able to kiss college bf doyoung??

i buy like everything online LOL i like the usual f21/ bershka/ asos,,,,,sometimes a friend of mine gets me stuff from china,,,,,oh and 66girls!!! i think they’re more reliable than some other korean fashion based stores in terms of sizing

legible theme, set and clear rules, and to get attention just post!!! post anything you write doesnt matter what group or fandom just,,,get your writing out there!!

im not really into them,,,i should try haha

that’s sooooo cute i want infinity earrings ;;

i listen to instrumentals mostly,,,,some gaming music sometimes

my astro bias would have to be moonbin too!!! as for victon i stan seungsik the most but the rest of the s-line GETS ME

its random!! i love writing taehyung and bambam. recently i have loved writing for ten too!!

WOO IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU~!! that seems like such a feat, i hope its the best experience!! tell me about it some time ^^

im guessing you mean rumor? i did!

i dont read fics, im sorry!

my mood. every day.

STOP ,,,,,, i just,,,,,,love sicheng ok

got7 is a bunch of memes but im p sure mark can clean up well. for nct,,,,,jaehyun

im not!! but i have family that speak mandarin as well as close friends!!! i really like chinese history and myths so im learning more about it on the side ^^

it’s not,,,i delete asks all the time out of anxiety

sdlkf it’s my pleasure,,,wanna one!!! im so excited!!!!

idk why but i always have the urge,,,,to make yoongi dark,,,,give him something fiery and strong ,,,,,,i should stop LOL

<333333 lets love jin together

me listening to the whole nct mini album: pain

omg,,,,,,,thats so cute and ur right jonghyun is TOO POWERFUL

there are aLOT because i listen to a ton of girl groups,,,,,like a lot,,,,,,like every one that i can find LOL there isn’t a girl group out there that has no songs for me not to like,,,,,,,,im super excited for idol school and for the debut of doyeon + yoojung in weki meki!!!!! loona’s project,,,,gfriends comeback,,,,,secret,,,,S N S D, apparently bulldok???? idk i love all the girls,,,,,,

as for boy groups i listen to 2pm, infinite, bigbang,,,,rookies like sf9, up10tion, victon,,,, and rookie rookies like mvp, seven o’clock, and varsity.

thank u kiss kiss

let’s do it, come over

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees

IM LOVE U SO MUCH WTDF I LVOE U UU

uhhhh me too omg i want them all to wear bellbottoms ): jin would look like such a meal

woah,,,,,,,,,,wild i also have an idol thats 100% similar to my birthday and i cry. i Cry

#ask #long post #feel free to blacklist 'ask' if you'd like to ignore posts like this !!!

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jinsoulsscalp · 5 years

Text

if ur not indy ( @parallelwcrlds ) ignore this (or dont idc but youll b confused)

gen 1 of our hp au, set in 6th year. probably set sometime between 2010-present day. the blood status war bullshit died down a little after hp-era, but there’s been a recent resurgence in it. 5 years ago, a big dickhead graduated from hogwarts and probably went into politics and is super magic-equivalent-of-alt-right and is popularizing being an asshole and is lowkey starting the third war to kill all muggleborns and take over and popularize dark magic (donald trump ass motherfucker smh) and “finish what voldemort started” (bitch sounds like kylo ren the fuck erhiufbneri).

the not-asshole members of this year reformed the dumbledore’s army as a protest and to pay homage to the heroes of the past war, and lowkey dont do antyhing yet but hangout, but probably someday will reform the order of the phoenix outside of hogwarts when shit starts to really get bad. also onyx is on the brink of bringing muggle tech to the magic world, so there’s that too.

BEN

name: benjamin jo age: 17 height: 5′8 house: slytherin sexuality: gay fc: b-bomb bloodstatus: pureblood extra affiliations: n/a hometown: falmouth, west country, england about: -nasti boi on the blood supremist train -he & river are the evil slytherin gay power couple -uses naomi to keep tabs on antonia -favorite class is defense against the dark arts, though he thinks the name is stupid -stuck up and vindictive -lives on a beach lot with his family, far away from muggle settlements in his town -father is a wizengamont grand juror, mother is a socialite

JOSH

name: joshua eom age: 17 height: 6′1 house: ravenclaw sexuality: bi fc: zico bloodstatus: halfblood extra affiliations: quidditch beater, member of the new dumbledore’s army hometown: london, england about: -v sarcastic and seething but means well -doesn’t try to hard, but is real smart and has an eidetic memory, so he gets by pretty easily -doesn’t take any shit -more or less good natured -both parents are magic, however his father is muggleborn -lowkey loves divination but if you tell anyone he’ll fight you

NAOMI

name: naomi woo age: 16 height: 5′5 house: gryffindor sexuality: straight fc: chorong bloodstatus: pureblood extra affiliations: n/a hometown: kenmare, kerry, ireland about: -was a good kid when she started at hogwarts, hence getting into gryffindor, but as she grew up, she and her family started falling in blood supremacy holes, so realistically she doesn’t belong there anymore -wicked and stuck up -a spoiled brat -lowkey would do anything to get people like river and ben to be on her side -honestly is just insecure and wants to belong and is trying to do that by appealing to the nasties of the world -two-faced and manipulative and will cry to get out of things -loves charms class uwu

BETH

name: bethany jung age: 16 height: 5′2 house: hufflepuff sexuality: lesbian fc: chuu bloodstatus: halfblood extra affiliations: prefect, member of the new dumbledore’s army hometown: ilkley, yorkshire, england about: -both parents are muggleborn -grew up in a waterfront cottage -very loving family -so energetic and desperate to please -in love w casey thats her girl -looks up to antonia so freaking much -classic hermione granger-- has a giant ass classload -loves ancient runes class

TONI

name: antonia park age: 17 height: 5′6 house: gryffindor sexuality: lesbian fc: cl bloodstatus: pureblood extra affiliations: prefect (ambitions to be head girl), quidditch captain & chaser, founder and leader of the new dumbledore’s army hometown: tinworth, west country, england about: -lowkey descended from death eaters but we don’t talk about that -classic hero trope, shes a badass and takes no shit but is inherently good -kind of an overachiever too-- shes always pushing herself to be better and do more -wanted to grow up to be an auror, but with the ministry getting more and more corrupt, she instead wants to reform the order of the phoenix and become a bounty hunter vigilante -natural enemy to river and ben lbr -hates defense against the dark arts class bc its lowkey turning into what it was when umbridge ran it -digs transfiguration tho that shits cool

KURTIS

name: kurtis ahn age: 17 height: 5′10 house: gryffindor sexuality: pan fc: daesung bloodstatus: halfblood extra affiliations: member of the new dumbledore’s army hometown: kilkenny, leinster, ireland about: -big goofy boi -class clown 2 the max -went through an emo phase years 2-4 but we dont talk about that -raised by his dad, who is a wizard. muggle mother left when she found out bc it was too much for her aND ALL THE LIES MAN -mood maker-- brightens everyone’s day -sunshine personified -loves care of magical creatures

TRISTAN

name: tristan lee age: 16 height: 5′7 house: slytherin sexuality: bi fc: hwiyoung bloodstatus: muggleborn extra affiliations: prefect, member of the new dumbledore’s army hometown: manchester, england about: -kind of shy and keeps to himself for necessity (you would too if you were a muggleborn who shared a bedroom with river and ben) -loves learning about magic so much -pissed a lot of people (racist blood supremicists lol) off when he was made prefect, but hes really proud of that position -he likes muggle studies class bc its an easy a and he likes laughing at everything they mess up

STEPH

name: stephanie kim age: 16 height: 5′5 house: slytherin sexuality: bi fc: hyuna bloodstatus: halfblood extra affiliations: n/a hometown: bangor, wales about: -spoiled brat, but not like naomi? like shes spoiled and self centered but not mean -that being said, super self absorbed -doesn’t do anything that doesn’t have something in it for her -party girl -a metamorphmagus but mostly just uses her powers to change her hair without commitment -mother passed away during childbirth and she never knew her dad, raised by her eccentric wizard grandmother who literally just throws money at her bc they have so much and her grandmother doesnt really know how to take care of teenagers

MARYSE

name: maryse young age: 16 height: 6′0 house: hufflepuff sexuality: pan fc: jeonghwa bloodstatus: halfblood extra affiliations: quidditch seeker, member of the new dumbledore’s army hometown: cork, ireland about: -youngest of 5, only girl and the shortest (wow i know wild) -surprisingly coordinated for being so tall tbh -her best friends in the world are the hufflepuff quidditch team-- especially the ones in her year. that team is so tight they’re her people -lowkey braeden got them all into the dumbledore’s army, but like??? why would she not join???? shes protecting her friends like braeden who need her support??? its a no brainer??? -shes very happy and giggly and so so supportive of her friends -shes also like 1/4 giant

MIN

name: minhyuk byun age: 17 height: 5′10 house: ravenclaw sexuality: gay fc: key bloodstatus: muggleborn extra affiliations: prefect hometown: jeju, south korea about: -hogwarts equivalent of an exchange student -muggleborn with very potent magical energy very young, so hogwarts snatched him up before any other schools could -there was originally a big ol language barrier, and its still there but he’s learned a lot -he wants to be a healer when he graduates

ONYX

name: onyx moon age: 16 height: 5′4 house: ravenclaw sexuality: bi fc: le bloodstatus: muggleborn extra affiliations: member of the new dumbledore’s army hometown: london, england about: -her parents are both muggles, but her mother’s sister is a witch and would tell her stories about magic when she was a kid. she thought they were all fake until she got her hogwarts letter -as soon as she went to hogwarts, she brought as much muggle tech as she could with her so she could figure out how to integrate it with magic and make it work. -she’s made things that play music work, but anything more complicated or online is still up in the air (she’s really close to cracking it though) -she’s absolutely brilliant, but she’s so focused on her passion project that a lot of time her grades suffer. -she likes arithmancy bc its basically complicated magic math, and she can respect that

THEO

name: theodore nam age: 17 height: 6′2 house: gryffindor sexuality: straight fc: mino bloodstatus: halfblood extra affiliations: n/a hometown: glasgow, scotland about: -resident hogwarts bad boy hugiuerjdgnj -big time slacker and troublemaker -a little bit of an asshole but he means well -probably has broken a lot of hearts hes the classic bad boy trope tbh -just some of his ex-girlfriends include naomi (one of his biggest mistakes he regrets that one), bethany (that was in year 4 before she knew she was gay af), steph, brynn, arcadia, faye, among others (those are just the fellow 6th years)

RHYS

name: rhys do age: 16 height: 5′2 house: ravenclaw sexuality: pan fc: minzy bloodstatus: pureblood extra affiliations: quidditch chaser hometown: godric’s hollow, west country, england about: -okay so u kno how there are parents who push their kids to do stuff and live vicariously through them? that was rhys’ parents with quidditch -like that’s her life it’s all she knows -she’s traveled all over the world to see the world cup every single year -wishes quidditch class wasn’t just for first years -if she doesn’t go pro someday she will combust

BRYNN

name: brynn kang age: 16 height: 5′4 house: slytherin sexuality: bi fc: soyeon bloodstatus: halfblood extra affiliations: quidditch beater, member of the new dumbledore’s army hometown: hogsmeade, scotland about: -kind of a bit of a delinquent -she cuts class and sneaks into the forbidden forest, but that’s because she’s curious and adventurous and doesn’t learn very well in conventional settings anyway -born and raised in hogsmeade, so you don’t know how many times a year she straight up just sneaks out of hogwarts to go home and hang out with her dog -strong sense of morality -if antonia is true good, brynn is chaotic good. she’s just as much of a freedom fighter, but less into structure and establishment -shes 1/8 veela on her dad’s side but she hasn’t really grown into that yet and is just a mess

GABE

name: gabriel lim age: 16 height: 5′10 house: hufflepuff sexuality: pan fc: v bloodstatus: halfblood extra affiliations: quidditch chaser, member of the new dumbledore’s army hometown: holyhead, wales about: -yo magic exists, there is 100% a magical way for two women to conceive a child aka gabe has two moms -one of his moms is the captain of the holyhead harpies, and the other is an investigative journalist for the daily prophet (among other publications) -hes so loyal and good -his quidditch team, but braeden especially, are his best friends and he’d do anything for them. -he’s so good natured and kind he cannot fathom people like river and ben existing

BRAEDEN

name: braeden hamilton age: 16 height: 5′8 house: hufflepuff sexuality: bi fc: vernon bloodstatus: muggleborn extra affiliations: quidditch captain and keeper, member of the new dumbledore’s army hometown: brighton, england about: -very sporty as a smaller kid-- was really into soccer especially, and was an a+ goalie -he was a huge outcast his first year and didnt have a ton of friends. he lowkey was close to just saying fuck you to this magic shit and going home to be normal -finding quidditch once he went to hogwarts was his saving grace-- he finally found something he understood and could relate to -and, as it turns out, reflexes are reflexes, so he ended up being a really talented keeper -he started making friends too, as he was embraced by his team, and now he doesn’t know what he’d do without them -this year he was named captain of the team and dude he honestly cried when he found that out he was so honored and it felt like things were coming full circle finally -he was one of the first hufflepuffs to join the new dumbledore’s army, because people like ben and river were part of why he’d been so close to just leaving the magic world behind when he was 12, and he wanted to be a role model

#( masterposts )#( indy hp au )#( kurtis ; inspo )#( theo ; inspo )#( toni ; inspo )#( naomi ; inspo )#( minhyuk ; inspo )#( josh ; inspo )#( rhys ; inspo )#( onyx ; inspo )#( braeden ; inspo )#( gabe ; inspo )#( beth ; inspo )#( maryse ; inspo )#( ben ; inspo )#( tristan ; inspo )#( brynn ; inspo )#( steph ; inspo )

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sorcieresque · 7 years

Text

clea and daisy and trying to build a friendship out of thin air when you’re either fake or a mess at social interactions while also being high as fuck: The Convo

(please do yourself a favor and install x-kit’s read-more now bc daisy’s theme is unreadable)

Today at 12:45 AM

sorcieresque Do I remind you of your Mother.

bythepowerof4 absolutely ot also this is a little silly daaisy *not

bythepowerof4 haha are you gonna send this to everyone :p

sorcieresque No, I'm asking you. Specifically.

bythepowerof4 ok thats a little weird then but ok

bythepowerof4 no you do not!! my mother is nice and not magical yeah whhat data are u hoping to gather here exactly??

sorcieresque Scientific data. Specifically.

bythepowerof4 lmao sure hit me with ur hypothesis miss daisy also i know i contain multitudes or whatever but 1 is a pisspoor sample size haha

sorcieresque How dare you question my methods.

bythepowerof4 i am taking one whole chemistry class this year how dare you how dare me!!!

sorcieresque How dare you d are me dare you to answer my question.

bythepowerof4 im too tired to tack another how dare on there just imgine i did ok fill in the blanks How are u holding up lmaoo. see ur maneater hobby is going well right now

bythepowerof4 ok wow daisy youre beinng linda gross :// Kinda

sorcieresque It's a joke Humor! Specifically.

bythepowerof4 hahahahaha youre so funny!!!

sorcieresque Thank you, Clea Spacebabe, Specifically

bythepowerof4 dont do that :/

sorcieresque Do what

bythepowerof4 be MEAN and weird for no reason and not even be that good at it its stupidd

sorcieresque He started it by babbling like a toddler about having my meanness all figured out, and besides, he pulled the same move on Tyler the other week God, Clea, it's almost like you're getting soft

bythepowerof4 god daisy its almost like i always was :p

sorcieresque For Men? Specifically? I may have misunderstood something

sorcieresque Grieviously so

bythepowerof4 fuck off oh my god i dont care about him bc hes gross but now YOUREbeing gross so what am i meant to do with that huh huh

sorcieresque I have found through my scientific endeavors that people in this school do not know how to take an vulgar joke We're teenagers for god's sake Get real

bythepowerof4 xactly if they dont know how to take it as a joke that makes it sad and mean like how youre always sad and mean to moire and its not gonna come off like a joke when you keep beating each other hp its gonna come off weird and creepy which it did but if you wanna be weird and creepy cb ur a teenager fine i guess??

sorcieresque That's judgmental of you

bythepowerof4 thats judgmental of you to call me judgmental

bythepowerof4 sorry i dont like, get the appeal of ur hobbies

sorcieresque Taylor and I are not sad and Mean to each other, I'll have you know I got her a twenty thousand dolalr Book that she hates and either way What Tyler and I get up to is not your space babe business So forgive me If I infer that you amy perhaps be Jealous

bythepowerof4 why?? would u infer that???? if youre friends thats good i want you to have lots of friends?????

sorcieresque You seem, as the kids say, Salty

bythepowerof4 daisy no offence but im not very jealous ofthe girl who you punch in the face sometimes and try to humiliate online

sorcieresque Oh Do you actually mean it then That you think I am weird and creepy?

bythepowerof4 hhhhhhhh no

sorcieresque You said it

bythepowerof4 i think youre BEING weird and creepy :(

sorcieresque Do not make me pull reciepts

bythepowerof4 do not make me crytype at u ill do it!! im sorry youre not creepy except for when you try to be you know cause u do that

sorcieresque I wasn't trying to be this time, I was making humorosu statements about People's mother complexes Taylor walked straight into that One Tyler*

sorcieresque [[ actually lets retcon that correction taylor is way funnier

bythepowerof4 i think talking about pples mothers complexes in a weird sexy way is automatically creepy tho

sorcieresque Hence, the humor Whatever, ET You don't get it

bythepowerof4 no i dont glad we cleared that up

bythepowerof4 that sounded rude igore that

sorcieresque Can't and shan't

bythepowerof4 boo

bythepowerof4 i already said sorry right cause i thoght i did but u havent said anything so maybe i made that up

sorcieresque Yes but you're just sorry you have hurt my delicate sensibilities, not that you think I'm weird That's un-takeback-able Grievously so

bythepowerof4 Being Weird thats a different thing???

bythepowerof4 i mean sure naybe i am a little jealous bc apparently beating u up is takebackable but saying one wrong thing isnt that seems about right huh u dont even care abut my delicate sensibilities daisy u dont get to be picky about this when im sorry which i very totally sm ):

sorcieresque I like when Tyler beats me up Wording Terrible wording

sorcieresque I encourage Tyler to beat me up for I do the same to her and so we are Even When have I ever not cared about your delicate sensibilities except for the thievery, the unkindness, the coy filirting and hot and coldness, the attempt to use you as a hitman, and the backahanded mockery of your interest

bythepowerof4 thats not funny :/

sorcieresque Of which I do not longer have done to you I'm a different person now than I was a month aho

sorcieresque None of the things I type are coming out the way I want them to sound which would fundamentally reapir the fragile emergence of our tentaitvie friendship

bythepowerof4 i mean accetping my apology might have worked Or giving, one, but u know go with ur gut be ur authentic self or whatever

sorcieresque Now who's being mean

bythepowerof4 nlehhhhhhh. Fine. its me i mean no bc im trying to be nice but ur not letting me !!

sorcieresque How so

bythepowerof4 like i said sorry and you said you didnt believe me thats not fair bc it was true?? and then ur talking about our budding friendship like you actually care abt it and IM the bad guy ):

sorcieresque Making friends is so hard

bythepowerof4 Nnot normally sometimes

sorcieresque I know I'm abnormal

sorcieresque It's generally frowned upont to point it out I had hoped You specifically

bythepowerof4 thats not what i meant dont do that ):

sorcieresque Wouldn't find it offputtin

bythepowerof4 ???? wouldnt find what offputtin

sorcieresque My glaring abnormality I'm too high for this

bythepowerof4 im not a jerk why do u think im a jerk and if u WERNT high ud be too sober for this and not talk about anything duh

bythepowerof4 i, am an open book, always

sorcieresque Oh are you Spacebabe then why won't you answer my question about yout Momther

bythepowerof4 "no you do not!! my mother is not magical yeah"

bythepowerof4 i didnt realise you wanted an essay lmoa

sorcieresque It was a scheme! A sly plan! To get to know you! You fool! You moron!

bythepowerof4 oh

bythepowerof4 i dont always get that stuff im sorry also i was told several times that you never try to get to know people and its all on me all the time and i was dumb and believed that so uh. Didnt occur to me igues

sorcieresque Well that's true but I am trying new things New school new me

sorcieresque Why are you out there

bythepowerof4 i like the view. scary forest full of things that would kill me, very comforting

sorcieresque It's only scary if you let them scare you Give me a moment

sorcieresque [Maybe five minutes later Daisy gets up with far more difficulty than she would otherwise, and stumbles out onto the porch. She hears rather than sees Clea crying, and she isn't sure what pushes her to do it, but instead of continuing the argument in person she simply lies her head on Clea's lap and continues blogging on her phone.]

bythepowerof4 [daisy's head on their lap prompts a fresh ugly sob, and they try to wipe away the snot before it drips onto her hair. gross. they let her blog in peace for a while, feeling even more like the bad guy - maybe five more minutes, till they can't help but ask.] is nick mad at me too??

sorcieresque [Daisy shrugs widely, her words low and dragged out.] Maybe. I'll ask him not to be, [she says, as if that would solve everything and who knows: Maybe it would. They work in mysterious ways.] Do not call me weird again.

bythepowerof4 [they squint down at her, sniffling in a way they hope isn't too pathetic. they feel like she's closed off again, but take it as a peace offering.] thanks. i won't.

bythepowerof4 [they can't come up with a counter demand; the conversation must have been pretty one sided. they settle for leaning back on their arms, sobs dried up.]

#offline #IM #bythepowerof4

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cutegirlmayra · 7 years

Note

ive been always so shy too ask but since ur doing a prompt meme, i mean why not?? so can u pls pls pls do #9 with sonamy if its not to much trouble!! i admire ur writing so much!!!!

PFFT, PLEASE NEVER BE AFRAID TO TALK TO ME~ I love you so much, omg, let’s please be friends, you are too cute XDDD It’s never trouble to write sonamy, no stress! :D

Prompt:

“You’re always teasing me!”

“Teasing? I’d think some people would call it ‘honesty’.”

“You act like I can’t see through you, but I do!”

“I also think you see what you want to see.”

“Ohh!!!”

Amy shook her fists down in front of her, seeing him look a little exhausted by her antics and having his arms folded.

He looked at her from the side of his eyes, and sweat dropped a moment.

“Why can’t you just admit it!” She leaned up, turning to do so at him.

He lightly moved back, leaning mostly in the action of it away from her.

“A-admit what?” he blinked his eyes, looking puzzled and uncomfortable.

She puffed up her cheeks, “You… you..!!!”

She waved a finger at him. “You know what I mean!” she shouted out, “You always act like your ‘so cool’ but you end up just looking like you’re hiding something!” Amy bent her shoulders upwards and held her hands in tight fists in front of her, as Sonic looked away again, growing more and more awkward at this new turn in the conversation.

“Amy… I…”

Amy pulled his head forward, really making him sweat now.

She pouted.

He froze a moment on his words, before speaking again, closing his eyes and putting up an nervous smile, trying to look apologetic and soothe her anger somehow.

“I say what I mean. I think you sometimes think I’m saying something I’m not…”

It was the truth..?

Eh?

She lowered her hands, and shook her head. “I don’t believe you’d lie to me on purpose Sonic… it’s just…”

He suddenly lost his awkward nerves.

“..Amy…”

She was starting to have her shoulders bounce, seeming to begin to cry.

Now he grew even more worried with panic, and held out his hands, waving them out. “A-Amy! Don’t cry! Hey now..” he walked up, by her side, lightly holding a hand out and waving it in front of her, trying to get her to look up.

“I didn’t mean to sound harsh or anything.”

“…I know you don’t…” she wiped her eyes.

“I just wish I knew how to read you sometimes… it can be so confusing…”

He stopped his hand motion.

“Sometimes.. I get a lot of hope… when you smile towards me, and no one else.” she smiled lightly, before looking up and away from him at the sky.

“Other times…. I worry you may have forgotten all about me.”

His acting smile suddenly faded down, as his mouth opened slightly.

“One minute, I think to myself. No! Sonic would never leave me! Other times… I wonder if I even pass by your thoughts…”

He lowered his hand, remaining still and silent.

“…But that’s just silly of me, huh?” Amy turned her head, closing her eyes to block the clear as day windows of her soul from his sight.

She put on the best neutral smile she could.

“I ought to stop pushing on you so hard to just state your case. Sometimes, I should just know.” she put her hands behind her back, still putting up the facade that she was alright with what she was saying.

Sonic’s eyes remained in shadows of the darkening sky…

“You don’t always have a case,… do you, Sonic?”

His hands tightened to fists by his sides.

“You just do what comes naturally. I shouldn’t force you to say or do something you wouldn’t naturally do on your own.” she opened her eyes to the ground, not looking up, especially towards him, and kicked the ground.

“Silly me. I shouldn’t feel this way about it. I’m sorry.”

“…You don’t need to justify how you feel,… Amy.”

Amy’s head shot up, amazed by his words.

“W…What?”

He slowly lifted his head, and his eyes, into the light.

His expression…

Amy had only seen this look from Sonic a handful of times in her life, but it was so distinct and impacting on her, that it never left her mind’s eye.

“Sometimes…” he lifted his hand, seeming like it was going to her cheek…

Her eyes widened… but it moved passed her cheek… and to her head, flopping down on it.

He lightly rubbed.

And smiled.

Tilting his head.

“You worry too much.”

I love you.

Her eyes bent down, as she held back the tears.

She could read him.

She could understand.

The words weren’t in his words at all.

She stared into his eyes.

He had let her see his soul for a change, and for a split second, she could almost hear his heart saying what he truly meant.

She nodded, smiling genuinely this time.

She started laughing.

Now his hand flinched from her head, as his expression left and he blinked his eyes, innocently.

“Huh? What’s wrong?”

“You’re just.. haha! You’re so flirty, Sonic!” Amy pushed him away, forgetting her strength as he was flung halfway across the forest terrain before breaking with his heels, and sighing in relief, holding his chest.

He suddenly grew confused, and stomped a foot down, leaning over to her, “Flirty!? How was that-!?”

She kept laughing, and he stopped himself a moment, sweat dropping.

He stood back up, dipping his head down and shaking it, before letting his arms sway out and then onto his hips.

He raised his head to a smile.

“Now you’re catching on?”

(AU, lol, I think the ending makes it so. It’s so weird. haha! It’s like, a bit shaky in the beginning, narrows out into a good structure and character towards the end, and then always tends to fade to AU. I find that funny XD lol! These prompts bring out the shipper in me~)

#sonamy #sonicxamy #sonamy prompt #prompt meme #sonic prompt #sonic #amy rose

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megades-sweet-darkness-delight · 7 years

Text

ECLIPSA IS DISABLED!!!!!! (AND CUTE!!!!! ♠ ♿️💜😈💋♠❤) [EDITED FOR MORE READER ACCESSIBLITY]

I SENT AN ASK TO @breastforce A WEEK AGO, HOPING IT WOULD GAIN TRACTION WHILE I DIDN’T HAVE THE ENERGY TO POST MY WANTS AND NEED FOR (more) WHEELCHAIR USER REPRESENTATION IN THIS SHOW AND FANDOM AND HOW I REALIZED ECLIPSA WOULD BE THE PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR IT, I WAS ORIGINALLY GOING TO TAG @breastforce, @marcodiazisatransgirl and @starbutterflyisautistic in my post addressing it to help spread the idea and gain more traction,since I love their ideas and representation they’ve created for themselves within the fandom and this has nothing to to do with anything but like, after ‘Girls Day Out’ I just got really pissed, for all the love these random side characters get, that nobody in general was drawing or even talking about Toby, or how Star vs. The Forces of Evil was the first children’s cartoon in an entire decade to, not only have a wheelchair user in their storyline, but also be the only wheelchair user on a children’s cartoon in an entire decade have their wheelchair users storyline not revolve around educating abled bodied people. While also having that character be BLACK. #DisabilityTooWhite (even in cartoons)

And afterwords, everyone was just all: Oh. That Episode Was Cute. :) I Guess. :) Nothing to write home about tho. :) Just Cute Fun Filler Fluff! :3 No Big Deal. :))) JUST WISH SOMETHING BESIDES FILLER WOULD HAPPEN FOR ONCE NEFCY, LOL!!! XD

MEANWHILE, MY CRIPPLED ASS IS OVER HERE, REWATCHING ALL OF TOBY’S SCENES AND PRAISING MY FAERIE GODMOTHER HAHA TOM I KNOW YOU HATE PHYSICALLY DISABLED PEOPLE BUT I FOR ONE AM HAVING A MOMENT!!!! (also, can i just kinda.... give bonus for like, having a joke about parking spots but like, later making a point to show the person who actually needs it EXISTING??? Without having them be the butt of that joke because like... good writing???) So, after I’m done crying my happy tears about all this, I start thinking that the only thing that could make this even better is if the show featured another wheelchair user who was a girl... Cause aside from this bitch who’s name I had to look up from The Wild Thronberry’s, all the major wheelchair users have been boys. Then “Into The Wand” came out... and in my obsession with Eclipsa’s Tapestry I had an Epiphany ... THAT ECLIPSA IS THE ONLY QUEEN....

WHO’S SITTING DOWN.

AND THEN

I START THINKING ABOUT WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE. AND MY HEAD CANON MAY NOT BE A “THEORY” (bc in the case of wheelchair users we .... can’t exactly have coding the best we get is a cane your theories are still valid and needed and important an’ I wouldn’t have the courage to post this if it wasn’t for you I love you guys I’m so sorry .... ^ ^; <3 OX) BUT MY POINT IS

AFTER TOBY BEING IN A WHEELCHAIR IN CANON..... AND STAR BEING AUTISTIC IN FANON NOBY CAN TELL ME NO ... ;)

IF A WANTED MY #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESSS

#STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLEISM #ECLIPSAISDISABLED #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS #DRAWHERSITTINGDOWN

(The rest of this post will be put under a “READMORE” and been de- italicized, de-highlighted and de-bolded as above, for reader convenience)

AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DRAW HER FAT TOO SINCE EVERYONE AND THIER 9th GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER IS COMPARING HER TO CHERRY WHO IS OBVIOUSLY ECLIPSA’S 9th GREAT GRANDMOTHER

ALSO DRAW HER WITH HER LOVER WHO’S NAME IS GRIMALKIN AND THEY ARE NON-BINARY AND USE ZE/ZIR PRONOUNS BECAUSE SOMEBODY NEEDS TO CARE ABOUT MY BABIES FOR OTHER THAN HOW OR IF THEY FUCKED, WHO THEY’RE RELATED TO BECAUSE OF THAT, AND AND IF THEY’RE EVIL.

🎵 GONNA GET A LIL’ GRIM GONNA GET A LIL’ DARK, DONE LARKING ROUND’ HERE, FLEEING THE MEWMAN DIMENSION 🎵 See? You know you love #GrimDark, just like you love my #DisabledQueenOfDarkness head-canon and now you have a ship name to post content in so you can stop causally forgetting the big ugly monster when you draw her, and don’t worry about how the chair effects their relationship, it’s not like Ze wouldn’t need to kneel down to her to get on her level anyway, and in the words of Margo Diaz, the ship name itself is meant to be ironic humor on the shows nature, since I suppose people want Star Vs. to be more “GRIMDARK” I mean ...when I realized that short version of Grimalkin would be “GRIM” and Eclipsa is the (DISABLED)Queen of (DARK)NESS so it’s perfect, no? Move over S/T/A/R/C/O and moontoffee this couple deserved all the attention AGES is ago, and for those of you already comparing the dreaded(CO)Couple to this one since ‘Baby’ I made the the Monster Lover Non-Binary and use ze/zir pronouns, since Margo is Trans and “Grimalkin” is traditionally the name for an old female cat who is commonly a companion of witches. You’re welcome.

Also, I’ve decided that Grimalkin is a Cheshire Cat/My Neighbor (Totoro) based Ancient Species called Ches(SIRE) not really sure how to spell this right yet but u know how it’s supposed to to sound in ur head, right? ^^; That basically zir job is Guardian of The Spooky Forbidden Dark Forest Just Outside of Mewni TM and to protect other creatures and Monsters from the Mewmans and Demons who want to kill them; i.e, Zie hunt and kill the demon who want to kill the unicorn for their blood and demons are actually zir primary food source living in the forest and when you eat a demon you absorb their power (hence zir horns and size) and sometimes, more often than not, zie nurse the creature/monster who was being hunted back to health, should they be hurt (hence the SIRE part) cause like, Totoro, there’s a condition on if you can see them: If your heart is dark. So yeah, Grimalkin The Forest Guardian, feel free to recreate the Totoro poster now bc I just realized Umbrellas

Just make sure to draw Eclipsa in her wheelchair when you do!!!! ^ ^ <3 When I sent this ask to Red however, it was because, with all the bombs coming down after ‘Baby’ it was because I felt as though I was... well running out of time, so to speak ....

(CLOSE UP)

[CAPTIONED]:

How amazing foreshadowing would it be though after Toby and everything, if Eclipsa were actually a wheelchair user too and all the Past Queens of Mewni had different disabilities? And we had fan content to reflect that too like Autistic Star and Princess Margo? I'm making a post about it but like #DisabledQueenofDarkness & CpunkPastQueensofMewni should be a thing and after todays ep, I wanna get it goin' b4 Eclipsa is probs gonna get revealed to be abled bodied. Post for ppl to reblog?^ ^; ♥

So I asked @breastforce (Red) to post that specifically so that people (the viewer) [her followers] could do one simple thing

The ask has 42 notes not excluding my own like, so surely that means at least HALF those people must’ve REBLOGGED IT to spread the word, right?

Huh ... I see 38 apples with heart shaped holes

A cute baby narwhale in the ocean (who still couldn’t be bothered to reblog tho) @natiacollins <3

And only three people who actually care....

Why did I ask Red to post this ask again? Oh yeah...

And WHAT happened today? I HAVE TO DEAL WITH +5 POSTS THAT SHOW ECLIPSA STANDING UPRIGHT PARALYZED IN ICE AND NOT A PARASOL CANE TO STAND ON (she uses her Parasol/Wand for a cane/to push her chair sometimes, like Autistic Star sometimes bites her wand and uses it for other things, you’re welcome <3)

But LIKE

OH YEAH THAT’S FINE GUYS GIMME A BUNCH OF APPLES WITH HOLES IN THEM AND THEN RUB IT IN MY FACE CRUMBLE MY CRIPPLE PUNK PAST QUEEN OF MEWNI HEART I’M OKAY WITH THE EVENTS THAT ARE UNFOLDING CURRENTLY ....

HER LEGS ARE STILL SCISSORING THAT MEANS I STILL HAVE A CHANCE!!!!!

OR AT LEAST I STILL GOT A........

....GIMP GOAT .......

OKAY NOT TO OFFEND ANYBODY BUT THIS IS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW....

RIVER IS ME, MY CRIPPLED HANDS REACHING FOR CRUMBS WHILE EVERYONE ELSE GET’S TO ENJOY THEIR RICH REPRESENTATION COATED TREATS BECAUSE THIS CUTE COOKIE CAT I PICKED OUT FOR MYSELF.....

MIGHT JUST TURN OUT TO BE AN ABLED-BODIED ICE POP!

YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M BACK TO BEING A BABY AGAIN BECAUSE THE GOATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. AND IF PEOPLE CAN’T ADAPT THEMSELVES TO DRAWING “ABLE-BODIED” CHARACTERS IN WHEELCHAIRS LET ALONE MAKE ORIGINAL ONES TO BEGIN WITH, THAT’S NOT OUR PROBLEM.

IS IT, TOBY?

BUT THE GOAT IS GOOD FOR MY NEXT POINT.

SO FAR IN THIS FANON/FANDOM WE HAVE FOUR AUTISTIC CHARACTERS (STAR AND JANNA AND INGRID AND STARFAN13), TWO TRANS CHARACTER (MARGO AND STARFAN13), A CHARACTER WHO’S AN ACTUAL WHEELCHAIR USER IN CANON (TOBY), AND AS OF TODAY, A GAY DISABLED MONSTER CHARACTER WHO IS CODDLED AND DOESN’T WANT TO BE “TAKEN CARE OF” BY THEIR PRIMARY CARE GIVER S/O ANY LONGER AND IS ABUSED BY THEM BECAUSE OF THAT

WHEN THEY TRY TO BE INDEPENDENT

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR ECLIPSA /NOT/ TO BE A WHEELCHAIR USER AND FOR HER LOVER TO /NOT/ BE NON-BINARY. THIS FANDOM HAS THE MOST DIVERSE FREAKING NICHES I’VE EVER SEEN!!!! HECKAPOO! THERE’S NO REASON FOR STAR BUTTERFLY NOT TO BE IN A WHEELCHAIR /AND/ BE AUTISTIC!!!! “Star On Wheels” Hello?! Back when that episode first came out, I remember someone made this disgusting ablest comment about Star “becoming a Paraplegic lolXD” so please draw her in a wheelchair just to spite them!!!! OX <3

And also like .... we have all these old cartoon Grannies in wheelchairs. PLEASE LET ECLIPSA BE THE YOUNGEST ONE!!!! PLEASE LET HER AND THE MONSTER STEAL TOBY’S CHAIR FOR HER TO GET ROUND WHEN SHIT GOES DOWN AND LATER SHE FEELS BAD ABOUT IT CAUSE THEY SCARED THE LIL’ GUY GOOD SO THEY DECIDE TO “ADOPT” HIM AND SING THIS TO HIM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gN-Jl1kFpX0

FUCK TOM AND TOFFEE LET /TOBY/ BE ECLIPSA’S SON?????? AND IT WOULD BE EXACTLY LIKE THAT ONLY NO ONES TRYING TO KILL HIM GRIMALKIN’S JUST CONFUSED AND HE’S TRYING TO GET THE CHAIR FOR ECLIPSA AND IT’S CUTER <3

ALSO GRIMALKIN REFERS TO STAR’S PARENTS AS “BULLY AND MOODY” JUST FOR CLARIFICATION YOU KNOW WHY BUT I’M OBVIOUSLY THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES THESE CHARACTERS THIS MUCH BC AS FAR AS I KNOW I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS ABOUT THEM (EQUALLY) AS CHARACTERS AND I’M NOT USING THEM AS A PROP FOR MOONTOFFEE OR THINKING ABOUT WHO CAME OUT OF THEM WHEN THEY FUCKED <3

BUT YES, LET ECLIPSA BE DISABLED!!!!! DRAW HER AS A WOMEN IN A WHEELCHAIR!!!!! BECAUSE APPARENTLY DESPITE THE CRIPPLING LACK OF REBLOGS ON THAT ASK... ;) THEY’RE ARE PEOPLE WHO STILL FIND MY NEED FOR REPRESENTATION INTERESTING!!!!!!

SO THAT’S WHY I’M MAKING THIS POST!!!! TO PUT IT OUT THERE WHERE IT WASN’T ORIGINALLY AND START THE TAG. DO IT WITH ME!!!!! #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS #ECLIPSAISDISABLED #STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLEISM

AND REBLOG THIS POST!!!! I DON’T WANT YOU TO “LIKE” IT JUST REBLOG IT!!!!!!

IF YOU WANNA MAKE IT UP TO ME YOU CAN START REBLOGGING MY ORIGINAL ASK HERE: http://breastforce.tumblr.com/post/156994186895/how-amazing-foreshadowing-would-it-be-though-after BUT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND GOOD HEAD CANONS PLEASE REBLOG THIS ONE AND HELP GET THE WORD OUT!!!!! SIGNAL BOOST THIS!!!!! NOT ONLY FOR ME BUT FOR OTHER PHYSICALLY DISABLED PEOPLE WHO LOVE STAR VS. TO SEE IT!!!!!! IT’S SUCH A GOOD HEAD CANON AND HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME THAT #ECLIPSAISDISABLED AND I HAVE MY #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS AND THAT ALL THE PAST QUEENS OF MEWNI HAVE DIFFERENT DISABILITIES AND I MIGHT ACTUALLY GET TO CONNECT WITH DIFFERENT DISABLED PEOPLE IN ONE OF MY FANDOMS FOR ONCE. I’M GONNA DO A POST WITH ALL THE PAST QUEENS DISABILITIES SOONY BUT I WANTED TO GET THE #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS AND #ECLIPSAISDISABLED AND #STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLEISM TAGS TRENDING TOO AND WHO KNOWS IF I’LL STILL HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO THAT TOMORROW....

IT’S NOT CRIMINAL TO BE AN INDIVIDUAL, BUT IT’S ALSO NOT CRIMINAL TO BE A CRIPPLE OR #DISABLEDANDINTODARKNESS OR A #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS ETHER AND WE NEED OUR REPRESENTATION TOO. ;)

IF YOU REBLOG THIS I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER. IF YOU’RE ONLY GONNA ‘LIKE’ IT YOU CAN

GET. OUT!!!!!!!!!

AND YOU BETTER REBLOG THIS BECAUSE I WAS UP UNTIL 5:00AM THE OTHER DAY TRYING TO FINISH THIS BECAUSE I FORGOT FRIDAY’S WERE OFF DAYS. NOT GOOD FOR MY SCOLIOSIS. NOT GOOD FOR MY LEGS. PAIN EVERYWHERE. ALL TO EDUCATE YOU. AND I HAD TO CANCEL MY PHYSICAL THERAPY THAT DAY.

THIS MONDAY I GET MY HAND SPLINT AND BRACES PUT ON SO I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE UNCOMFORTABLE TYPING WILL BE AFTER THAT. THIS MAY BE MY LAST POST FOR A WHILE AND IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME. ALSO, WHILE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT ORTHOTICS, WHEELCHAIR USERS, AND DISABILITY; ABLED-BODIED PRIVILEGE IS GROWING UP WHEN THE ONLY REPRESENTATION FOR CHILDREN WITH “BRACES” WERE THE ONES PINCHING TEENAGERS MOUTHS, ESPECIALLY IF THERE WAS A WHOLE GODDAMN SHOW ABOUT IT

WHILE YOU WERE SITTING THERE WONDERING WHY YOU AND YOUR BRACED UP, PINCHED UP, BRUISED UP LEGS GOT NOTHING.....

So before I publish this, I just wanna add in the few things I forgot do to tiredness.

ECLIPSA IS STILL TOTALLY GOING TO NEED HER CHAIR ONCE SHE GETS UN-CRYSTALIZED. THE WHOLE ENTIRE REASON SHE’S LIKE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE IS BECAUSE THE TIME OUT GUY, BEING THE JUDGEMENTAL PRICK THAT HE IS, THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS “EVIL” NOT BECAUSE SHE’S THE QUEEN OF DARKNESS, BUT BECAUSE FROM HIS POINT OF VIEW, SHE WAS “FAKING HER DISABILITY” BECAUSE HE SAW HER GET UP ON HER OWN FOR 5 SECONDS AND TOOK THAT AS AN INSULT TO LEKMET, FREEZING HER ONLY TO AVENGE THE GOATS HONOR. NATURALLY, HER LOVER TURNED SIGNIFICANT OTHER WASN’T TOO HAPPY ABOUT THIS AND CAUGHT ON TO WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED PRETTY QUICK, SO TIME OUT GUY AND LEKMET USED HER TITLE AND ALL THIER “PAST CRIMES” AS A SCAPEGOAT TO KEEP HER THERE, RATHER THAN UN-FREEZE HER AND FACE THE MUSIC.

AND AGAIN, I’M NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYBODY BECAUSE I KNOW SHE’S PEOPLES DAUGHTER AND TOBY IS MY SON TOO BUT LIKE, IF STAR VS. WERE ONE OF THOSE CARTOONS THAT TRIED TO DO EPISODES ON HOW PEOPLE IN WHEELCHAIRS ARE “JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE” (THANK GOD THEY’RE NOT .... AT LEAST NOT /YET/) MARGO DIAZ WOULD TOTALLY BE THAT ONE OVER PROTECTIVE ASSHOLE WHO TALKS IN A WEIRD BABY VOICE AND SAYS THINGS LIKE “MAYBE YOU SHOULD SIT THIS ONE OUT....” AND “IT’S FOR YOUR OWN SAFTY...” AND STAR WOULD (PROBABLY) BE THE ONE TELLING HER TO CHILL AND ACTUALLY TREATING THE WHEELCHAIR USER LIKE A PERSON ...

LIKE WHEN ECLIPSA GET’S UN-CRYSTALIZED, SHE IMMEDIATELY FALLS TO THE GROUND LIKE “IT’S OKAY! KITTY CAT OFFENSE GOT ME COVERED!” AND THEN MARGO’S LIKE “AAAH! STAR! YOUR GRANDMA’S FALLEN AND SHE CAN’T GET UP!”

“BUT SHE LANDED ON HER PAL-”

“SOMEBODY CALL ALIVE ALERT!!!!”

“OH, DON’T WORRY PRECIOUS, I ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE WHO’S ON ALERT FOR /MY LIFE/” *PRESSES THE LIL, CRESCENT MOON PENDANT ON HER CREST AND IT STARTS GLOWING* NEXT THING YOU KNOW SHE’S ROLLED OVER ON THE FLOOR....

“OH NO! SHE’S ....! IS SHE HAVING A COUGHING FIT OR A HEART ATTACK? I CAN’T TELL.”

“IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE A GIGGLE FIT OF OMINOUS SHUOJO LAUGHTER... BUT FOR WHAT I DON’T-- AWHNO!!!”

“AWH WHA-?” *STAR GRAPS AT HER HOODIE* “MARGO! WE NEED TO GET HER OUTTA’ HERE! SHE CAN’T WALK OR USE MAGIC, AND ALL MY SPELLS ARE AFRAID OF HER! YOU NEED TO GET YOUR DAD!” AND MARGO GET’S OUT HER DS LIKE “OKAY!” AND ONCE SHE’S OUT OF EARSHOT, ECLIPSA SAYS TO STAR IN HER PERFECT COCKNEY ACCENT LIKE “AWWHH, WOTS’A MATTA’, CAKEPOP?! YOU DON’ WONNA STAY’ ER’ AN’ WAIT WIT’ GRANNY TA’ MEET YER’ POPPOP?!

AND STAR’S ALL ANNOYED AN’ GRUMBLY LIKE “/STEP!/ POPPOP! Myevilstep-poppop...”

And that’s when Eclipsa gets 100% serious and her tone get’s kinda sad and soft like “ So because ze stepped in and zir part demon, zir just evil and an accessory for ‘Bad Girls’? Like those Scissors?”

And Star’s like “HOW DID YOU-” but then Margo comes back with her mom and dad following and Rafael scoops Eclipsa off the floor and she’s like “Ooooo, Angie! Your husband is so strong ... Wait’ll you meet mine!” And Angie’s like “HAHA THANKS!” *whispers to Margo* “Howdoessheknowournames?”

Rafs all insecure like “Whoisherhusband?”

“IdontknowMomandDad...I.Dont.Know......”

Then later, they have her settled on the couch with a warm blanket and a hot cup of tea, Margo realizes Eclipsa has a permeant disability but still doesn’t trust her (thinking she’s faking, putting on some cliche act) so she just drops the bomb of “LOOK .... I know you’re a Granny and all, but ....aren’t you a bit too YOUNG to be disabled?”

And without missing a beat, right in front of her parents, Eclipsa just grins and goes “Aren’t you a bit too young to have lived 30 years of your life in an alternate dimension and have the mark of Heckapoo, JENNIFER RINK? ;3 ” and goes right back to sipping her tea.

“....30 /WHAT/?!”

“....... Mark of /WHO/???!!!”

“OH!” *ECLIPSA PUTS DOWN HER TEA USING HER SPOON LIKE A WAND IN THE AIR* “IT’S ‘HECK-A-POO’. HECKAPOO!”

*Raf gets sidetracked seeing her do a lil’ magic with her tea spoon when her eyes start to glow* “I’m sorry if this is invasive to ask, Mrs. Eclipsa, but ... Can you shoot lasers out of your eyes like these puppies?”

Margo’s still horrified. “STAR. HOW DOES SHE KNOW THESE THINGS????!!!??”

Star’s just like “ CAUSE GRANDMA’S KNOW, JENNIFER! Grandma’s know!!!”

Eclipsa’s like “That’s my girl.”

“But Queen Eclips- ...GRANNY! You never answered Mr. Diaz’s question!”

*sips tea* “The answer is that I most certainly can, Star.”

“AAAWH YIIII-”

*takes another sip of tea before adding* “But I only use my laser powers in the most EXTREME of emergencies.”

“Awwh.”

*Finally finishes tea and there’s a flash of light and Eclipsa appears to be gone before Star feels something warm and fuzzy curled up on her lap * “Unless ... Anyone would like to see what I look like as a laser kitty? :3″

“AAAAAAAAAWWHH!!!!”

CONCEPT: THE “TIE” AROUND ECLIPSA’S WASTE IS ACTUALLY A FASHIONABLE BACK BRACE MADE TO LOOK LIKE A PART OF HER DRESS. IT HELPS HER STAND UP BETTER.

And I WILL make a post for all the Past Queens disabilities, it’s just I came up with a cute little pun for mine and I don’t feel comfortable making Mewni style puns for other peoples disabilities... ^ ^; So when I make that post the disabilities will just be listed as they are on Earth and #STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLEISM seems like a better catch all, since the term “CPunk” was coined by somebody else and means a very specific thing... ^ ^;

But Eclipsa’s disability is called “Celestial Purrsy” (a play on my own disability, Cerebral Palsy) and it basically means she has all the advantages/disadvantages of a cat ... ^ ^; It’s taken as a birth defect by the Mewmans because she looks like she has DNA from different dimension? ^ ^; Like this is gonna sound kinda morbid and dark but they suspect she’s a “changeling” and that the alternative version OF Eclipsa (like the one of Star we see in “MathMagic”)

Somehow replaced/possessed the “REAL” one at birth because she was born with her little kitty eyes/mouth

and paws

Which she’s been made to cover up since birth in order to look more like a “normal” mewman , like think of the old wives tale of cats stealing babies breath and the dreaded dimension of Star vs. where cats have human faces, on Mewni there’s basically this old wive tale of “Mewmans who have cat faces” and if they’re born that way it’s Bad Luck because they’re “The Cat Who Snatched The Mewmans Body” and that’s what they think happened to Eclipsa. That’s why they call her “Eclipsa” because they think “a dark shadow was cast over their baby” A “Fairy Godmothers curse” (The character of ‘Baby’ is actually described as “Star’s Fairy Godmother”in wikipedia summary. So maybe they think Eclipsa’s cursed with a cat face because the Fairy burped on her or or something AND THAT’S WHY THEY HATE HER SO MUCH OH MY GOSH. GET IT? AN OLD WIVES ABOUT BABIES BREATH? A FAIRY GODMOTHER CAT NAMED ‘BABY’? OH MY GOSH. They blame things like Eclipsa’s size and her love of food on Baby too, but that’s just another part of the stigma Eclipsa faces because her parents are arseholes.

Eclipsa even went through Mewberty “wrong” because her Mewberty from actually looks a lot like Baby ... And other Mewmans are like “Eeew, what are you? you silly Cat/Bug/Moth thing we’re supposed to be strictly INSECT BASED!!!!”

And instead of “BOYS” all she wanted to do was play with balls of yarn ... She hoarded all the yarn, and then she actually CREATED the “Worlds Most Dangerous Creature” we see in ‘Inter-Dimensional Field Trip’ WITH THE YARN...

For what purpose though, her parents were concerned...

She was basically treated as more of a prized house pet than a mewman, a Familiar meant to serve rather than the Queen she was met to be, and, like Star, she didn’t know basic magic ... As Queen of Mewni, she was a Familiar/Figure head, an “inspiration” to the kingdom more than anything and her husband at the time, a boarder-line powerless Mewman who never left his mewberty form by choice, King Lunar (LOO-NAR) used her for her magic, she was barely allowed to use her wand and the parasol was always opened up and propped on her wheelchair behind her where she couldn’t reach it in order to “shield her from the elements”, as Lunar put it.

They married because he took her out to The Bloodmoon Ball on a pity date, dancing was required according to their parents, and their souls “accidentally” bonded. Just as they intended.

SO you all know cerebral palsy is a muscle thing, right? Well with Eclipsa, her “Celestial Purrsy” is A BIT more exaggerated like someone (Glossaryck) will sneak up on her and she’ll have a muscle spasm, even if she’s prepared for it, but if she’s not wearing her seat belt, she’ll do that kitty thing where she’ll end up clinging to the ceiling, cat noises and everything, and she has those weird ticks that I have where she’ll get a twitch through her body like ....

It’s less pleasant than Jiji’s in the context of that gif, but t that’s the only way I know how to to describe it ... And then Glossaryck tries to get her to relax and “dip down” to try to get her off the ceiling but she just ... can’t do it... not because she’s afraid (it’s just an INVOLUNTARY REFLEX, EVERYONE CALLS HER A “SCAREDY CAT” OR APOLOGIZES AND NOBODY GETS IT...) but because her purrsy effected muscles are so tense and she can’t unclench them cause ...her body is afraid it’ll hurt? ^ ^; So Glossaryck will have to call Lunar to help get her down and he’s part moth, so he’ll like make a big show of like, crawling up the ceiling to get her and he’ll do it extra slow just to freak her out more because he knows that she hates it when she touches her but she can’t show it cause he’s her care giver and her husband and she feels guilty for doubting his love and daring to think he makes her uncomfortable on purpose... yeah marriage problems ... ^ ^; Sorry for creepy imagery ... ^ ^;

Glossaryck tries to talk to Lunar about it and suggests that MAYBE she’ll be more comfortable around him if he actually lets her USE HER WAND... since she hasn’t touched it since she was a teenager and WHO KNOWS HOW HER PERSONALITY HAS CHANGED SINCE THEN ... So Lunar’s like “FINE!!! HERE ECLIPSA!” (he can hand here the wand without effect on him since he doesn’t actually have hands to hold it with... he has feelers and mewberty goop... so everything just kinda... latches on to him all sticky ..... yeah, sorry for nightmare fuel again) Aaaaaaanndd we get our first glimpse of our Queen of Darkness then, wardrobe change and everything (the thorn crown doesn’t come in until she spends more time with Grimalkin and more specifically, when she’s evaluated by Baby and grows her apple tree later, when she’s been living with her Lover, they ask the Fairy Godmother to marry them right there), everyone is surprised by the transformation expect for Glossaryck, who’s like “Somebody’s been suppressing a lot of ANGER ....” *Looks over at Lunar* “Wonder what could be the cause* And then Lunar looks over at Eclipsa who looks about ready to KILL HIM an’ he snatches the wand away as quickly as she had it via his gross Mewberty goop and he’s like “SEE?! All that power is far too dangerous for someone so small look at what just happened! You just turned yourself into a monster when your supposed to be my sweet little muffin!”

Now we get to Toffee’s relation to Eclipsa.... after the whole wand thing happened he was actually (supposed to be) her aid. Cause King Lunar become paranoid of his wife becoming “out of control” and needed someone to “control” her when he wasn’t there because “ (ableism) I’m too busy to be scrapping you off the ceiling every time you have one of your episodes!!!! (ableism)” So .... he tries some of the Mewman staff at first ... But they’re all ether too condescending or just plain afraid of her and don’t even wanna touch her ... and Eclipsa knows this and plays it up to her advantage... So Lunar finally get’s this idea ... And he picks who he deems the most “intelligent” in the ... lizard prison... tells them that they’re going to “Keep an eye on the Queen”, takes them to Eclipsa’s room and Lunar’s like “Okay LIZARD I’m gonna show you what you’re working with here” And it’s just Eclipsa, alone, by herself, eating this big bowl of candy with her gloves off and pawing at the wrappers...

And the lizards like “She looks SLIGHTLY less bored than I am...”

“She’s hysterical ...”

*mumbles* “ComingfromLunarTheLoon....”

“What was that, REPTILE...?”

“Nothing...! Yourbugeyedbenevolence...”

“If you’re so keen on insulting someone today, just make sure you speak to HER in the slowest, weirdest voice possible!”

“....OKIEDOKIEHOPEYOUCHOKIE!!!”

Then the door slams and it’s perpetual “SURPRISE!!!!” voice until Eclipsa goes “Oi Lizzie! You like some tea from all that Buff- frog in ya throat?!”

And then Liz drops the act like “Oh, I don’t eat garbage...”

“Well, had me confused, you are what you eat...”

“And you’re hysterical...”

“Mm. So I’ve heard. But I’m sure the Buff-frogs don’t like hearing their fellow monsters think they’re ‘garbage’. That’s not a very nice thing to say about someone, is it? Even if it is used as an excuse not to eat them.”

“I suppose that’s true... Are you going to strike me now?”

“Why would I strike the hand that feeds me?”

“On days like this, I can think of many reasons, especially if you’re hungry.”

*She edges the bowl of candy over to him* “Please. :3″

“...Thank you....” *Being the ... picky eater that he is, (or making certain it’s not poison) she notices him carefully searching for his favorite candy and laughs when he gathers a handful of it*

“There you go!”

*Mouth already full of Saltwater Toffee* “Whut ...?!”

”I think your name is Toffee! What would you say about that?”

*he looks guilty for all the candy pieces he’s holding in his hands* I’d say that it would suit me, Queen Eclipsa, Thank you!”

“Your very welcome, Toffee! Also, that reminds me, we need to buy you a suit, it’ll look more official when you help me boot out my bugger of a husband! *ironic ship teasing/future ex girlfriend reference bc she later falls for someone who wears no suits at all, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT*

Toffee can’t help but find this amusing and smilies “You want me to... AIDE you in starting a rebellion against your husband?”

*Eclipsa borrows a piece of his toffee, pops it in her mouth, and grins* “Now look who’s hysterical...”

The very next day, Toffee returns to Eclipsa all beaten and bloodied up. His tail is missing and , he’s pretty much dying. Eclipsa is freaking out...realizing her wand is gone too, doesn’t know what’s going on but has a pretty good inkling of who’s behind it. Next thing you know Lunar comes in all like “Hm. That’s two things that don’t belong to me now, or is it three? You’ll never get your kingdom back.”

And Eclipsa is tears “I don’t care about the kingdom! What did you do to to Toffee?!”

And Lunar throws the tail and the and the wand back to their rightful owners and says “What I could never do to my bugger of a bride!” before slamming the door on them again.

The second he leaves, Eclipsa drops herself out of her chair unto to the floor, crawls over to Toffee, asks him to tell her what she can do to to help him, and he tells her weakly that he’s heard of an ancient being in the dark forest who supposed to heal monsters, Eclipsa’s like “Alright, we’ll go there. Right now.” Takes off her hat and props it under his head, then goes over to her bed to get some pillows, where her book is laying.

Glossaryck pops out and is like “What are you doing?”

“You heard what just went on.”

“You’re going to The Dark Forest to seek Grimalkin.”

“ Gesundheit.”

“No no. Grimalkin is the name of the HEALER. Trust me, if I sneezed, you’d know it.”

“Get away.”

“Eclipsa, I’m you’re teacher and YOU NEED ME.”

“No I don’t.”

“Fine. Be that as it may, I will accompany you on your journey.”

“Why?”

“SATISFACTION BROUGHT IT BACK!”

“...Whatever. Help me pad my chair with these pillows while I lift Toffee up, and hurry.”

“...Maybe if you cast ‘LEVITATO’-”

“I KNOW!!!!”

Toffee protests to taking Eclipsa’s chair but Eclipsa says that right now, he needs it more than she does. “Besides, I have my Gait Trainer, silly Gator!” They secure some rope they got from Eclipsa’s curtains to the chair and Toffee’s under the impression that Eclipsa’s going to tie the other end around her waist and pull him herself, so he objects to that too. He earns some perfect shoujo laughter and a “Don’t be ridiculous, Toffee!” Before giving a sharp whistle and a small usher of rats scurry out from under the bed “I mean, I would if I had to, but there’s no need. Follow Mummy babies!” and just like that they grab a hold of Toffee’s rope and follow her out every door, with to rats stationed in front of her to help open them.

One of the servants asks if they should do something, watching her head towards the dark forest from the window, to which Lunar responds “Nah, curiosity killed the cat.” And the rest is history. Basically because Toffee made her PROMISE to come back and visit him every day because he heard what Lunar had said to her before and was afraid for her at that point. Which Grimalkin allows because he BEGS xem and the Guardian sees how this monster cares for HER. Plus she looks too exhausted to do any real harm at the moment.

Eclipsa promises Toffee that she’ll come back, and she’ll start working on her spells for self defense.

When Eclipsa asks Grimalkin tells her that Toffee’s tail can’t be re-attached, and it could take a while for the other lizard monsters who to live there to teach him how to regenerate, maybe even generations but zie CAN preserve his life. Maybe even raise a new life from the old tail.

When she hears this, and she’s letting it sink in that Toffee almost died, Eclipsa considers making up an immortality spell so she’ll never have to worry about the scare of losing him ever again. Then Eclipsa tells the guardian about the prison and zie promise to see what can be done. Also this happen at some point, after they’re at least on a more friendly/flirty basis ...

“You’re a healer, right?”

“You know what I am.”

”Yeah, well...How come other people don’t know I can’t be cured?”

“Dunno.”

“I mean I know I KNOW...and YOU KNOW, so how come THEY dunno? YA KNOW?!”

”The answer is as mysterious as my origins, Purple One.”

“YOU’RE A PURPLE ONE! Also, your stripes are really pretty!”

“So are your paws.”

“May I feel your pretty stripes with my pretty paws? :3″

“You are MARRIED! Also, I am not purple, I am Magenta.”

“ And I’m Sorry I Asked! ;W;”

Toffee is watching them like “Pfft ... FURRIES!”

When things start getting more intense between them (Grimalkin & Eclipsa) later, Eclipsa tells Lunar over dinner that she wants to make other living arrangements, of course, the tyrannical King laughs in her face. THIS is what leads the Lovers to make arrangements of their own behind the King of Mewni’s back, at least until they can get away, they’re hoping ...

That’s pretty much it, sorry for going into a bit a mini fic mode, I just really wanted to sell the idea of Eclipsa... being a disabled person so that people would actually, you know... want to draw her as such. ^ ^; Since I don’t think it’ll happen at all in the show, twice, although it would be a freaking miracle if it did ... ^ ^;

I’m also sorry for the snobby way that I think some of this post is worded? ^ ^; I’m not trying to play the oppression game with anyone here .... ^ ^; It’s just, people see a character and they think of ways to see themselves.... and anyone can draw a missing eye, limb, or cane as a cool character trait or accessory but absolutely NOBODY (as far as I know) sees a character and thinks “I’m going to draw that “abled-bodied” character in a wheelchair, so people who maybe don’t have the physical ability to create sometimes can see themselves too”. Which is why I think starting a movement along the lines of #DRAWHERSITTINGDOWN, or more inclusively #DRAWTHEMSITTINGDOWN would be SUPER IMPORTANT.

I mean, at least it’s better than saying “cripple the bitch”. Which in retrospect I’m surprised hasn’t been turned into some kind of revolutionary artistic renaissance or reclamation movement made exclusively for disabled artists to draw what disabilities they’ve envisioned for the abled-bodied characters that they adore already (in a way that’s not the result of villainous violence or results in vendetta, unless of of course they’re a villain or simply have a vendetta against our abled-bodied overlords whom oppress us so, that would be an excellent excuse to have those elements included in the explanation of how their disability effects them, like I just did with Eclipsa ).

Because I feel bad and embarrassed because every time I want to see an “abled-bodied” character in a wheelchair, I think of the phrase “cripple the bitch” and then my internalized ablism thinks up some horrible accident they were in order to “make them that way”. Because nobody draws an “abled bodied” character in a wheelchair just because. Unless it’s the disability sign. And we need to start.

STAR VS. THE FORCES OF EVIL IS THE /ONLY SHOW/ WHERE I FEEL COMFORTABLE ENOUGH STARTING IT! AND I /STILL/ FEEL THE NEED TO EXPLAIN /WHY/ I NEED THIS HEADCANON RATHER THAN JUST SAY BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY EVIDENCE OR CODING TO HELP ME. AND I’M AFRAID PEOPLE WILL ETHER HUMOR ME ONCE OR WON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH IT BECAUSE THEY’RE ABLED BODIED. AND WHERE IS TOBY?! IS MY SON STILL IN DETENTION?! I DON’T MEAN TO DISOWN HIM BUT I DESERVE BETTER THAN AN ACTUAL HUMAN SIDE CHARACTER WHO ONLY SHOWED UP ONCE, A GOAT, A WEIRD WEREWOLF GUY, AND

I’m sorry that I feel like I’m playing the oppression olympics right now, like I’m wheeling over eggshells with every word that I type, but I know I deserve better, I really do! I deserve my Disabled Queen of Darkness, Eclipsa. And she and her wheels deserve a spot on Daron Necfy’s Diverse (and I’m not being ironic because I LOVE YOU FAERIE GOD MOM <3) wall of art, along with an actual (and still autistic) Star on Wheels . And so do Eclipsa’s husband and their son, Toby. Like all four in the same picture; a family portrait. That Would Be AMAZING!!! Especially if “Grimalkin” was like, like both Eclipsa AND Toby up on each arm IN THIER WHEELCHAIRS like they were lifting weights like in a “strong man” pose cause they’re arms are definitely big enough to support two manual wheelchairs that weigh virtually nothing them cause they’re so strong and they just ... can.

And Star is parked on the floor in front in her power chair ... with “The Gang” (Trans Marco, Jackie, Tom, Janna and Starfan13) all gathered around her and they’re all just being happy an goofy and Janna’s in Star’s lap, probably. Starfan13 didn’t have enough room so she’s like, squishing Star’s face with her’s in a hug, you know that cute squishy hug face?

Ingrid’s in the picture too, sitting in the monsters arms at Toby’s side holding his hand cause he’s a little nervous that he’ll fall. She wanted to be in the photo too and Grimalkin understood her cause they also speak German and they asked her if she could keep Toby company so he wouldn’t be scared. She said okay, but she’s not giving up her comfort item for nothin’, also it will cost The Queen her guillotine.

Eclipsa’s over on the other arm just lookin’ as chill as ever. Cause she knows that her Lovie would never let her roll off.

That would look PERFECT on Daron’s wall! Hopefully #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS becomes as popular as other fanon so we can make that happen! Feel to use any of the tags I’ve created to start posting!!! Maybe even said some Disabled Queen of Darkness to Daron!!! (And me of course, if I’ve convinced you that Eclipsa Is Disabled and you want to actively draw her and write her as such please send all your content to me!!! I’d love to see it!!!! <3)

I have other thoughts on the monster themselves, their love for Eclipsa, it’s importance to the entire freaking plot of the series, and the way they’ve been treated in favor of Toffee and Eclipsa herself, like that line about treating the monster lover as an accessory was there for a reason and I’m pissed, but I’ll write up why later because YOU KNOW WHY... and I wanna go ahead and get this posted before the final airs.

I encourage everyone who sees this to reblog this even if they’re not in the Star vs. fandom! Like you can consider this a one fandom/character/headcanon/masterpost thing but I feel like it’s a great way to get the general tags of #DRAWHERSITTINGDOWN and #DRAWTHEMSITTINGDOWN started! Also, REMEMBER: DO /NOT/ USE THE WORD “CRIPPLE” IF YOU ARE NOT PHYSICALLY DISABLED!!!!!

I know using “if” in an apology is wrong but I don’t know how else to word this so ... I’m genuinely sorry if any other physically disabled people reading this are uncomfortable with my usage of the word in this post? ^ ^; It’s just it’s used as a catchall by other people in our community and after finding cpunk, I recently started identifying with the word to help me find other people ... ^ ^; <3 OX

Also people, when you reblog this, please clarify whether or not you physically disabled in the tags in order to help me find other people... ^ ^; <3 OX I’ve never done this before, so words of encouragement and feed back would also be appreciated, and if you said something ... vaguely kind or encouraging before? ^ ^; <3 Know they still are (just now is your chance to reblog ^ ^; <3 OX)

I really would appreciate it if @starbutterflyisautistic and @marcodiazisatransgirl would reblog this too since *themorrison’svoice* YOU GUYS ARE SO COOL!!!!! ❤

And SPEAKING of cool criminal individuals I just want to thank Red for publishing my ask in the first place. She’s helped and inspired so many with the Trans Marco theory and she’s the one who helped me realize I had a basis for my Disabled Queen of Darkness too. Also, she’s the one who inspired the idea of Eclipsa’s husband being some weird bug thing who preferred to stay in their Mewberty stage, “like an invading body snatcher virus took over.” Because it shows some real contrast between some monsters and the mewmans I think, rather than just being some humanoid oppressors afraid of the scary monsters because they “don’t understand”. Because they had this “mewberty” thing happen to them, where they ether “wouldn’t be back to normal”, or they made the conscious decision to stay in or out of it, good or bad, and if they understood exactly what they were doing to the other monsters and enjoyed it because they considered THEMSELVES the“ideal” of what a monster should look like. And then that bad history was erased through centuries of .... literal humanization I just think there’s a bit more to explore through that narrative then having Eclipsa’s former husband be some cliche Gaston stereotype, or even the “well meaning Nice Guy TM who lets the girl go” trope.

And I know that making the Mewman King Eclipsa was married to a tyrant is a bit of a cliche as well, but striping Eclipsa of the powers she’s supposed have because of that, giving Eclipsa a physical disability and have her be oppressed because of that, like Star would be with the autism headcanon... It would kinda level the playing flied between Eclipsa and the Monster a bit because THEY’RE BOTH MINORITIES!!! THEY’RE BOTH OPPRESSED!!!! The Monster a bit more than Eclipsa but still ... the thing common helps them understand each other a bit more and helps this become much more than “ I married my oppressor because I changed them and they changed me” “love” story, because c’mon, so far, the basis for these two finding a connection in these fandom has been “You’re not bad for a ______” AND WE ARE SO NOT DOING THAT WITH WHAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE AN ALLEGORY FOR AN INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP C’MON ....

And I wouldn’t have thought any of this if it weren’t for Red, she’s our rebel princess, she’s the best, loves the wayward sister in the purple dress, she’s given me the courage to fight, for Heckapoo On Wheels, Disabled Dark Queens and Butterfly’s ....and TOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Okay so I hope that wasn’t too corny but like, seriously, I love you Red!! You are ROCK and are (truly) an inspiring beautiful person who’s fun to be around and I hope this isn’t embarrassing or too much because I know we only ever had contact from that ask, but I owe you so much credit for inspiring me to claim Queen Eclipsa for myself as well as the other Past Queens of Mewni for other people with disabilities because it’s amazing that you and Daron have made me feel comfortable in my own skin enough to do that! I love this show and this little niche fandom of Wayward Princesses SO MUCH and it all means so much to me you have no idea and I am SO GLAD you’re a part of it!!! I’m worried that some of this post as well as that ask was worded with some twinges of jealously ... and maybe that’s why it wasn’t originally reblogged .... because I sounded so ...impatient? But I want you to know that I mean this, un-ironically, from bottom of my heart and I’m not just saying for notes or popularity: You are important. You are loved. You have done so much for the community and so much for me and so many other great things and more than enough things for me to thank you for so you don’t need to feel pressured to reblog this, Red! Just know that I thank you from the bottom of my heart and you’ll continue to do even more, I wouldn’t have known there was an interest in Eclipsa being disabled or have the courage to write this if it weren’t for you!! So Thank You!!! OX ❤

If it’s okay, I just want to link everyone to Red’s Princess Marco and Star vs. Trailer’s since they’re Hecka magical and wonderful, haven’t gotten comments in a while and all you Poo heads should leave some more love for them!!!!! ;) ❤

Princess Marco Trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pYrOO68ys

Star Vs. Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qkjUFB-NcA

Congrats on Trans Marco being canon, everyone! ;) ❤ OX

Well, here I am, 12:50 AM, Monday. The night before they air the final. About to get my hand brace in the morning. About to finally post something that’s been in my drafts for a week, with spelling errors and other things I can’t be bothered to fix, with this post being the best post about Eclipsa that you will ever read. With Eclipsa (probably) about to be confirmed to be the abled-bodied ice pop I was worried about. FANON DON’T FAIL ME NOW!!!!!!! ❤ OX

(Get it...? Cause the saying is? And I’m? Yeah ....Side note about the goat and my sense of humor earlier DO NOT USE THE WORD “GIMP” IF YOU ARE NOT PHYSICALLY DISABLED ETHER, NOT EVEN IF YOU’RE USING THE BADLY NAMED ART PROGRAM TO DRAW ECLIPSA, THANK YOU!)

♠💜😈💋♠ ❤ ALL LOVE ECLIPSA, DISABLED QUEEN OF DARKNESS!!!!!! ♠💜😈💋♠❤

♠💜😈💋♠❤AND MAY YOU ALL .... DRAW HER SITTING DOWN... ♠💜😈💋♠❤

#ECLIPSAISDISABLED #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS #DRAWHERSITTINGDOWN #STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLIESM #DRAWTHEMSITTINGDOWN

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