#if this had come out like 10 years ago I’d be like ‘okay. okay. interesting.

[bellewintersroe]

Max Verstappen x HornerDaughter!

Part 2 - here is the LINK to the first part! Leni has to act dumb to everything Max has told her when they’re in Monza where Kelly is. She witnesses a somewhat awkward interaction and Max gets suspicious when Leni is close with Carlos.

Warnings: mentions of arguments, probs some swearing, jealousy and impure thoughts. A little naughty thing happens between Leni and Max, but nothing major.

A couple days later we were all back together in Monza for the following Grand Prix. It was more than a success for Red Bull, with Checo taking second and Max taking yet another win. Red Bull now had 10 consecutive wins a row. It was party central around the grid, plus Sainz had bagged 3rd place which he truly deserved, he fought off the RB’s like a mad man for a good 15 laps. After his birthday yesterday, I congratulated him with a massive hug.

“You really deserved that, well done.” I hugged the Spanish man. I’d met Carlos years ago when he signed with Red Bull back in 2010.(I fancied him). Now he just felt like my older brother. Okay maybe that was a weird thing to say.

“Thank you, miss Leni. I missed you.” He gave me a tight squeeze back as I smiled adoringly towards Carlos. “I miss you Carlos, I hope Ferrari are treating you better than before the summer break.” I half joked.

“Yeah, me too.” His eyes widened. “Will you be out tonight?” Carlos then questioned. “Probably, I think we’ll be at the same place, -are you celebrating your birthday too?” “Of course.” He smirked. “I’ll come over and say hi. Get you a couple birthday shots!” I nodded as the older man laughed. “Drinking competition.”

“Are you trying to kill me? I’ll see you tonight, Carlos.” “Yes, let me know when you are in there. I think somebody wants to speak to you.” Carlos nodded behind me as my brows furrowed slightly as I spun around, hand sliding off Carlos’ arm. Max was lingering, a huge smile plastered across his face as he attempted to bite it back, nodding towards Carlos. My heart fluttered pathetically as I laughed out of pure ecstasy.

“Max!” The two of us embraced tightly as he lifted me up. “Oh my god, I’m so happy for you.” I felt the breath of his laughter against my bare shoulder as he gently eased me back to the ground.

“Thank you, thank you. I’m so happy.” He modestly spoke, cheeks flustered from his excitement. The whole morning I had to act sheepishly around him and Kelly, purely because of what he told me when he was drunk. For a second of seeing him, I forgot what I felt awkward about. But when his hand lingered on my upper back, I felt the exact same itch of guilt that had pestered me all day.

“Good, you should be. You’ll be celebrating tonight, right?”

“Maybe, maybe.” He shrugged, hand slipping off as I crossed my hands over my chest. “Maybe? Max you’ve literally beaten a world record, you can’t not!” I nagged, pulling on his arm dramatically.

He smirked sheepishly, laughing to himself as we began walking back to the Red Bull garage. “Carlos is going out!” I spoke, as though that would sway him. “I’m sure Checo is too!” “Go party with Carlos.” Max shrugged nudging my arm. “Huh?” I asked loudly. “Huh?” He mimicked as I scoffed out a laugh. “I thought you… you know- I mean now you’re single-” “Ew, what’re you trying to say?”

“Yes, what are you trying to say, Max?” Another female voice interrupted and I tilted my head up, stomach sinking to see Kelly. “Hi Kelly!” I politely smiled. “Hey.” She smiled back. It was about as far as our friendship ever got, I always made an effort with her, but she was quiet in general, maybe the 13 year age difference between us was a bit too extreme. I was just being a hater.

“Well I thought now Leni is single she might have been… interested in Carlos.”

“Oh.” Kelly’s face relaxed as I felt my frown grow harder. “Carlos? He’s known me since I was like 9!” I grimaced towards Max, feeling Kelly staring right back to her boyfriend. Max shifted uncomfortably. I felt uncomfortable- god he needed to just tell the woman what he was feeling.

“Oops.” Max shrugged as we shared another laugh. Kelly on the other hand, didn’t seem amused. “No hug for me, Max?” She sassed as I felt my stomach churn in guilt. Max’s mouth opened to respond and I wanted to yell out, hug her you fool.

“I’m gonna go, see you both later.” I awkwardly excused myself, wanting to literally throw myself off a cliff. A shudder ran down my spine, cringing at the whole interaction. This whole crush on Max had to stop, how the hell could I limit interaction between us without it looking so obvious?

Limiting interaction is what I tried to do. I kept my distance from Max the whole evening, opting to chat with Checo rather than be around where he and Kelly bickered. It wasn’t anything new the arguments, my dad often said it was Max’s number 1 distraction. Knowing what I now knew, I agreed. I just had to keep my head down and act like whatever they were arguing about wasn’t loud enough that you could hear Kelly over the music.

Minutes later she stormed out, tipping a few drinks off the table in the process. Max groaned into his hands, luckily, Hannah, the strategist, reassured Max she was leaving anyway and she’d fix it. I kinda felt bad for him, he’d just won yet another world title and this had to happen tonight. He looked a little sad, the minute my heart churned I turned my attention elsewhere. I hated the way I wanted to go and speak to him, it wasn’t right. Max needed to end the torment Kelly was probably feeling and sort out their god damn mortgage issue.

Desperate to avoid any form of drama, I escaped to go spend some time with Carlos and the Ferrari team for a while. I looked like a little backstabber, playfully sticking my fingers up at people from RB. I’d fully danced my feet off, and I was exhausted from all the day drinking combined with the heat at Monza.

After saying bye to a bunch of people, I slipped outside, bagging a cigarette off somebody as I stumbled to an empty table, booking an Uber.

“12 minutes? Ugh.” I muttered to myself, quite literally desperate to throw myself in bed. My ankles were desperately hurting where I’d grown uneasy in my heels, and it was beginning to radiate up to my shins. I lit the cigarette and began puffing on the stick that I normally wouldn’t smoke sober.

“I didn’t know you smoke?” My heart skipped a beat as I dropped the freshly lit cigarette into a puddle next to the chair. “I don’t anymore.” I cleared my throat, glancing up to Max quickly. Where had he come from?

“Don’t tell Geri or my dad.” I commented as he let out a soft chuckle. “I won’t.”

“Thanks… what’re you doing out here?”

“Leaving.” He shrugged, sitting across from me. “Oh, me too. You can get in my Uber if you want.” I offered.

“Yeah please, I’ll pay. I gotta go and… find Kelly.” He awkwardly spoke as I glimpsed away at the mention of her name.

“No, you don’t have to pay.” I ignored the last part of his sentence, shaking my head firmly. “I do.” Max firmed. “I don’t mind Max, he’s 10 minutes away, anyway.” I looked back down to my phone as he nodded. “I’ll split share.” He offered, reaching over to tap my phone onto his contact to share the cost. “Okay.” I shyly spoke watching him slide my phone back to me.

“You ok?” He then questioned as I glimpsed back up. “Yeah, I’m good. Are you?”

“Yeah.” He sighed, running his hand through his slightly messy hair. He had stubble growing in areas that made him look extra manly, and I had to pinch my bare thigh to focus on what he was saying.

“Not exactly the best night.” Max awkwardly chuckled as I began picking at the wood on the table, thinking carefully about my words for a good few seconds. “You should tell her, Max.” I boldly said. I felt him shift uncomfortably, when I looked up he was too staring at the table. I assumed he knew what I was talking about. “I know.” He chewed on the inside of his cheeks.

“I didn’t think you’d remember..” he then added on as I let out an awkward laugh. “I didn’t think you would. You’re rich enough, just pay off the mortgage and then that’s out of the way.” “I was talking to my accountant about it.” He rubbed his face. “That’s why she was upset.”

“Oh.” I commented, my eyes roaming around any part of the smoking area, as long as I didn’t make eye contact with him, it was fine.

“Yeah.” Awkward, my teeth sunk into my bottom lip, probably taking off half the lipgloss I’d just applied. “Awkward.” I blurted out, earning a laugh from Max as we caught each others eyes again.

“You don’t have a filter do you?” I felt my cheeks warm desperately as I tried not to smile. “I mean- just not after a few drinks.”

“It’s funny, Leni.” He giggled as I took a sharp breath, “it gets me in trouble sometimes.” I shrugged. We made small talk back and fourth for the next ten minutes before climbing in the Uber together, it was safe to say neither of us was as drunk as we were that night on the beach, we actually had some restraint about us.

“I forgot to take my brother to his tutor today!” I spoke up, turning to face him. Max’s head was rested back, lolling to look at me with a soft gaze.

“How? Why does he have a tutor on a Sunday?” He spluttered out a laugh.

“You tell me. My dad was speaking to me and I forgot to listen- took Monty up to the paddock, he knocked himself out on Gelato, the same way I did the free champagne, and I just… forgot.” “Oh, Leni.” Max laughed, reaching over to slightly touch my hand through his amusement. I spared a quick glance down to his hand, it was inching closer to my own, nudging against it with every bump of movement in the car.

“It was stupid.” I muttered on a sharp intake of breath. Max looked back to me, smiling, I shyly caught his eye, feeling his fingers graze over mine to hold onto my hand. He was smiling, glancing down to our hands and I couldn’t process the butterflies he gave me. The way my heart set off racing, how I felt like I couldn’t speak. What on earth was happening right now?

What followed was a terrible guilt. “Max.” I exhaled, softly parting out hands. I didn’t know what that was, or how it happened so quickly, of course it wasn’t a kiss, but the movement made me truly question if Max and I were actually just friends? Max straightened in his seat, clearing his throat.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered. I trapped both my hands between my knees. I didn’t quite know what to say, I glanced out of the window, pursing my lips slightly. “You need to tell her.”

#max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen fanfic #Max Verstappen angst #f1 x reader

[mynameismckenziemae]

In Case You Didn’t Know

Part 5

(previous part here, next part here)

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x You

Summary: Jake takes you on the date he wishes he would’ve all those years ago.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut, oral (m receiving), etc.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake’s phone vibrates on his nightstand as he gets into bed.

🐓: So? Did you talk? Was I right?

Jake: Yeah we talked.

🐓: And?

Jake: …you were right.

🐓: HELL YEAH! I fucking knew it! You could cut the tension between you two with a knife. Did you…you know 😏

Jake: I want to take her out on date first.

🐓: Where are you gonna take her?

Jake: I don’t know, kind of limited with the leg. I just want it to be special.

🐓: Where did you take girls for dates in high school? Do that with her.

Jake: We’d pick up food at the local car hop, park somewhere to eat then fool around in my truck bed.

🐓: Sounds…great?

Jake: 🖕🏻there wasn’t much to do for teenagers around here back then. But honestly, I think Charlie would love it. I’d have to ask my sister for my truck back though. She takes care of it while I’m gone for me.

🐓: Emma? She’s a 10 🥵

Jake: No.

🐓: She single yet?

Jake: She’s not interested.

🐓: So she is single.

Jake: I’m going to bed.

🐓: You realize I’m going to meet her at your wedding, right? You’re just putting off the inevitable.

Jake: Goodnight Bradshaw.

Jake smirks at the thought. Bradshaw probably thinks Jake’s just being a protective older brother but it’s just the opposite. Emma looks like a sweet southern belle but she would eat him alive.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

He hesitates before biting the bullet and texting Emma; he’s always been a little scared of her.

Jake: Hey Emma Lou.

Emma: Hey! When did you make landfall? Everything go okay?

Jake: Almost 2 weeks, and not really. I was hit on the way back to the carrier and had to eject. I broke my leg and got a little beat up on the way down. I left the hospital forgetting Ma and Dad are gone so I’m staying with Charlie. They don’t know yet, please keep it that way. You know how much this trip means to them. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, my head was a little messed up and just didn’t want you to worry or take time off from that new job.

Emma: WTF!?!?? That’s fucking bullshit, Jake. I’m a large animal vet with 2 partners that are happy to cover for me. I wouldn’t have had an issue getting off of work and you know it.

Jake: I do know. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight.

Emma: No shit.

Emma: Are you okay?

Jake: Getting there. Charlie’s been doing my PT, I saw ortho and that’s healing okay. I have a video visit with a therapist tomorrow.

Emma: Therapist?

Jake: Diagnosed me with PTSD after the accident. I’m feeling better already but if I don’t go to therapy they’ll ground me longer.

Emma: The Navy grounding you will be the least of your worries once Mom finds out. I’m not gonna be the one telling her.

Jake: Thanks. I really am sorry. Any chance you’re coming this way in the next few days? I need the truck if you don’t.

Emma: How are you gonna drive it? Not sure how bad you hit your head but you need 2 feet for a manual.

Jake: I’m not, Charlie’s going to.

Emma: Did she get new furniture and not tell me?

Jake: No…it’s a lot to text. I’d rather tell you in person.

Emma: I’ve got a sick heifer to see in the morning but otherwise I’m free. I’ll be there around 11. I think Lee’s got a vet call in the area around 2 so I’ll see if he’ll take me back home so you can keep the truck.

Jake: Sounds good. Love you.

Emma: I’m still mad, but I love you too.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake’s up before you and has a cup of coffee waiting as you stumble into the kitchen with a yawn.

“Don’t make plans tonight. I’ve got something in mind,” he says, leaning on his good leg before pulling you into his chest.

“Mmkay,” you yawn, snuggling into his chest like you’ve always wanted to with his hugs. “Can’t wait.”

“I told Emma last night, she’s going to come over around 11 so we can talk,” Jake cringes.

“Will she be gone by the time I get back?” You joke, all too familiar with her temper.

“Why? You scared?” He teases.

“Yes. I know you are too,” you laugh.

You let him hold you for a few minutes, both enjoying the intimacy.

“I’d ask you to join me in the shower but that’s an accident waiting to happen,” you smile, pulling away from his chest to press a kiss to his lips.

His eyes fall closed at your words. “Soon enough.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake stares at your butt in your scrubs from the porch as you walk to your car. You catch him looking as you open the door and quirk a brow at his sheepish grin.

“Can’t figure out if you’re wearing underwear, I didn’t see any panty lines.”

“You don’t get panty lines if you wear a thong,” you wink as you get in, laughing at the way his eyes widen.

You’re normally a no-show underwear kind of girl, but you felt like wearing something sexy today when Jake said he had plans.

You give him a little wave as you head to work.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake had just finished his virtual visit with the therapist when Emma pulls up in his grandpa’s old Chevy that he and his dad fixed up together.

Emma gives him a bone-crushing hug before smacking him upside the head.

“Ow,” Jake grumbles, rubbing the spot she hit him.

“You deserve a lot more than that. You’re lucky you’re injured,” Emma says before bending down to greet Cash.

“So why does Charlie need the truck?” Emma asks, throwing Cash’s ball.

“She doesn’t. I’m taking her out tonight. Well, she’s driving but I’m planning it.”

“Taking her out where? Why do you need the truck for that?”

“Ray’s and then up to Breakneck Hill,” he responds, not looking at her.

“Isn’t that where you used take your dates to park?”

“Yep.”

It takes her a minute to catch on, but she jumps to her feet with a whoop when she does.

“Seriously?!” She laughs, “Man, it’s about fucking time.”

He looks at her puzzledly.

“You’ve been in love with each other for years,” she sighs. “That’s a great idea though. I just washed ‘er so the bed is clean. Want me to throw some blankets back there for you?”

“I didn’t think that far, but yeah, that’s a good idea.”

20 minutes later, Emma’s got the back of the truck filled with blankets and pillows, a perfect place to eat and watch the sunset.

“Perfect! Now you have a place to stretch out and bang. Do you need condoms? Wait no, forget them. I’m ready to be an auntie,” Emma says as she steps back to look.

“Uh, no. We haven’t-I mean, we aren’t-“ Jake stutters, flushing bright red.

“I’m kidding, Jesus. Don’t stroke out on me. Got anything for lunch?” Emma laughs, patting Jake on the shoulder, right where he’s bruised.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Emma wraps his cast and stays nearby just in case he falls while he showers.

“Lee’s almost here,” Emma says, giving Jake another hug. “Let me know how it goes. And tell Charlie I’m not mad at her, just you.”

Jake rolls his eyes but hugs her back. “Will do. Thanks, Em, love ya.”

“Love you too, don’t forget to forget the condoms!” She replies as she heads out the door.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

You smile when you see Jake’s old truck in the driveway, wondering what he’s up to.

Jake’s asleep on the couch when you get inside, but he wakes up when you close the door.

“Oh hey, sorry I must’ve fallen asleep after Emma left,” he yawns.

“Let me change and I’ll be ready to go,” you say, pressing a kiss to his cheek and slipping off your top as you walk down the hall.

Jake sgets down the stairs and hobbles along to the driver's side of the truck, awkwardly opening the door for you.

“You want me to drive? I don’t think I’ve driven it since you got too wasted to drive at Clay Williams's graduation party,” you laugh, climbing up.

“Ugh, I can’t even smell Jäegermeister without gagging,” Jake shivers as he closes the door.

You lean over and open the passenger side, taking the crutches he hands over. He surprises you with how easily manages to get in with one leg.

“Where to?” You ask, pushing in the clutch and starting the truck.

“Ray’s,” he answers with a smile.

“Then to Breakneck to fool around?” You guess, wiggling your brows.

He nods. “Only if you want to, we don’t-“

“I want to. I’ve always wanted to,” you reply, leaving out how jealous you’d get when he’d take girls out there.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

An hour later you’re sharing a chocolate milkshake in the back of the truck. It’s just the two of you in the empty lot.

“I wonder what my mom would think of us being together,” you say as you watch the sunset. The sky is a beautiful canvas of pinks, oranges, and reds.

“I think she’d like it,” he replies.

A flicker of movement catches your eye and you hold your breath when a butterfly lands on the hand that’s holding yours. It rests for just a moment, slowly flapping its orange wings before flying away.

“Me too,” you whisper.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“So what’s next? We ate our burgers, shared the milkshake, and watched the sunset. Is it a dry handjob while you rub me through my underwear for 10 seconds then ask if I came?”

“How’d you know?” He teases, leaning in for a kiss.

He kisses you slowly and lazily, committing every sigh to memory. As his tongue flicks yours you can’t help but imagine it elsewhere.

You soon grow impatient and find yourself straddling his lap again.

“Jake, touch me. Please?” You pant.

“‘Course sweetheart. Here?” He asks, pulling the top of your sundress down, exposing your braless chest to him. “Damn, Charlie,” he rasps, looking over your breasts hungrily before sucking a hardened bud into his mouth. His fingers come up to pay attention to the neglected side and he alternates; biting, sucking, and pinching you into a frenzy.

You find his free hand and bring it under your dress, running his fingers over the soaked material of your thong. He shudders when he feels the evidence of what he’s doing to you.

Before his fingers even touch you without the barrier of your underwear, you cry out, your fingers in his hair pull; your orgasm taking you both by surprise.

“Did you cum?” He chuckles breathlessly against your chest as you come down.

“I did,” you smirk, trying to catch your breath too as you climb off him, then unbuttoning his jeans. “Your turn, but I want to get my mouth on you.”

Your eyes widen as you pull him out. “Jesus. Not sure if you’ll fit, but I’m gonna try.”

“That’s not…I didn’t know that was an option-oh fuckkkk,” he gasps when you pull his tip into your mouth.

Your eyes drift closed and you moan at the salty taste of his precum. More you think as you swallow and suck more of him into your mouth, using your hands to stroke his base.

He’s making the hottest, most desperate sounds as his chest heaves. It hasn’t even been a minute before he’s warning you. “Char-Charlie, wait sweetheart. I’m gonna cum,” He pants, gently tugging at your hair to pull you off.

But you shake your head and moan; you want to taste it.

“Oh…oh God,” he whimpers as he finishes in your mouth, jolting when he feels you swallow his spend.

You pull up the top of your dress after you release it from your mouth and gently tuck him back into his jeans. He surprises you when he pulls you up for a deep kiss, groaning when he tastes himself on your tongue.

“You’re…that was…holy shit,” Jake chuckles. “So much better than a dry handjob.”

You laugh before pulling him back in for a kiss.

You’re so wrapped up in each other that you don’t notice the squad car pulling into the lot.

The smug voice of the local police officer over the megaphone has you jumping apart.

“Keep it in your pants ‘til you get home, Seresin. Don’t make me call your mama.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

A/N: First date ✅

As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love hearing what you think in comments/reblogs.

Tagging:

@mamachasesmayhem

@its-the-pilot

@dizzybee03

@sweetwhispersofchaos

@shanimallina87

@blindedbythelightt

@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth

@lexixstewart

@phoenix-rising-starbird-one

@mrsrobertfloyd5

@charmedkim

@k-k0129

@bellaireland1981

@hookslove1592

@amiets2

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@eli2447

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@dempy

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@djs8891

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@daggerspare-standingby

#jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x you #top gun maverick #jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #bradley rooster bradshaw

[karmathenightowl]

TAZ STEEPLECHASE EP 41 SPOILERS and Possibly What Ifs Discussion

Damn, okay there's a lot to unpack here

So my "Montrose Pretty is Devon Denton" theory is incorrect

BUT with the reveal of Montrose being Eggard Denton (Kenchall's dad), not only does everything click based on information brought to us in previous episodes but it also paints a rather heartbreaking implication of his role in the Denton family and Steeplechase as a whole.

Now it all makes sense that Montrose is a Denton for his knowledge about theme park attractions. From the lore of Ephemera (even his excitement and passion for it) to the existence of Jungle Island. There's also the moment he says "Sorry, Carmine" during the finale of the Gallspire heist when dressed up as Jessie the Infinite Spectre Fairy.

Now here's where things get very interesting.

I don't know if I'd call this entire next section a theory but mostly samples of What Ifs I have in my head. Hear me out:

Let's start with Kenchall. Back in Ep. 17 when he requests Poppy's Angels to steal the Gallspire, he notes that:

"If he (Eggard) had been born— if he had muscled his way up there, I’d be running the company right now. But instead, Carmine’s stupid monarchy passes from first born to first born. So, now next in line after Evelyn is her shithead son, Devon.

Then there's his brief conversation with Orwell and upon being asked what his childhood was like, Montrose responds:

"It was...quite lonely."

Then the theme from The Future is You plays in the background.

In the now debunked theory I made a while ago about Montrose being Devon Denton, someone replied the possibility of Eggard having a rough childhood because of living under Evelyn's shadow due to the fact that she was the next successor of Steeplechase. This neglect is what probably prompted Eggard to run away from home, probably fake his death since Kenchall stated that Eggard died "10 ish years ago" and start a whole new life as Montrose Pretty.

But despite that, it seems like he still yearns for that familial connection, bonding he never got with his real family. So why not try to make some connections with a new family, i.e the family from The Future is You.

There's also Episode 40, in which Montrose faces Carmine with his mask off.

Carmine says "I have to ask…do I know you?" and lights from inside the rocket point at Montrose.

Montrose replies with "Hello Carmine. I have decided to wear my true face for this special occasion."

I'm intrigued with how Episode 42 will play out with Carmine's realization of Eggard, if there will be any at all.

I want to cut back to Kenchall for a bit and preface this theory with a smaller one that may be a FAR stretch but I can explain.

We know Kenchall is far from being a good person. What if he had high expectations from Eggard, wanting the role of future park successor next in line so badly even though he knows that his father can't obtain that and pass that on to his son.

But also, what if Kenchall didn't care.

This is going to sound nuts, but if this is true, I see Kenchall as sort of a Veruca Salt type of person. This idea of Kenchall probably being a spoiled brat and having a father wanting what's best for his son and loving him despite this. Being in the Denton family known for their theme parks and innovative talents within the Dentonic Corporation, seems likely that Kenchall would be the sort of pampered kid that could get whatever he wanted. But all that doesn't matter. He clearly wants to take over the park, as stated in episode 17. Justin stated that Kenchall was seen as the black sheep of the family, but what if that was a lie? What if Kenchall made that up so others could see him as an outcast of the family when in actuality it was his father who was the real outcast.

What if Kenchall has a one sided resentment towards Eggard for something that wasn't even in his control i.e becoming successor to Steeplechase due to him being born mere minutes after Evelyn.

Then we come to today's episode at the end, with Montrose (now with his mask off) going to Kenchall at his APC. He says, "Its been ten years. We have a lot to catch up on."

Kenchall doesn't recognize him, saying "I don't know you."

Montrose retorts that he does, and says this:

"I have a lot of explaining to do, but I know you of all people will understand the great lengths I have gone to try and cease control of this park, this corporation, that I missed out on by mere minutes. I need the time to explain this to you Kenchall. Do you understand?"

In raising him, what if it made Eggard heartbroken to see Kenchall unhappy. In wanting to please him, Eggard decides to find his own way in obtaining control of the park to pass down to his son. And the implication that Montrose/Eggard has done all of these heist jobs for the possibility of pleasing his son makes this sound very sad in the grand scheme of things. He even risked his life multiple times, from eating a pin, to having his hand be fused with two elephant tusks.

But from what Kenchall has done to him, Beef, Emerich, and countless others, this perception may change. Maybe Eggard wants control of the park but doesn't want his biological son involved in it. I mean, he did adopt Todzilla after all...

#reply if i missed anything or like to add something! #this whole story is fascinating #the dentons are a very distinct family here #taz steeplechase #the adventure zone #montrose pretty

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 706: Kinaka Tsugunao

Pag 1

1: You

2: The “promise” you said you made with those two

3: I'll crash it

4: I can't think of him as “Rokudai the beginner” anymore

Pag 2

4: To be able to keep my victory, I'll have to think of him as “Rokudai”

5: “The wall”!!

Pag 3

1: Kinaka raised his pace!!

He started to pedal seriously!!

Pag 4

1: Bring it on!! Rokudai

2: Teeh!!

Pag 5

2: You kept up!?

3: Okay okay!! Not bad, are you

Nice, Rokudai

You're out of breathm but that was quite something

5: Then, in this case....

6: Let's move on to the next

How about this!!

7: Next!?

8: Tsugunao's deathly

Pag 6

1: Straight road!!*

(*ndT.: he makes a pun here with his name Tsugunao and the word for “straight” which is “massugu” - he says “matsugunao”)

Pag 8

1: My acceleration makes me go straigh ahead!!

The kick from my wild legs makes me climb up any climb as if it's nothing!!

2: The one who saw this during races said that it's like

3: A kick fight among the kings of Australia

Like Kangaroo's legs!!

4: My nickname is “Straigthroo”!!

This is my real....

Pag 9

1: Fight style!!

2: Kinaka accelerated again!!

Ngh, ngh...!!

Rokudai is falling behind!!

3: Kakaka

That's a super impressing acceleration!!

His legs weren't just to show after all!!

4: He's probably betting seriously for the frst time in this race

Pag 10

1: Before the race

2: He was the only one whose eye color was different

Judging from appearances, thick legs are common in sprinters, but not always

He practiced the same amount on climbs too

3: Right now, the one who's dominating the race and controling it to his advantage is

Pag 11

1: Kinaka!!

4: But Rokudai-kun is sticking to him

5: He's slowly getting closer to him!!

6:  Nice....! Nice, Rokudai

That's the spirit....

7: This race....

Pag 12

1: is getting exciting!!

2: Straight-

Pag 13

1: Kinaka is raising his pace again!!

2: -roo!!

Woah.... Rokudai-kun....

3: is falling behind again!!

7: There are....

Pag 14

1: 1.5km left until the peak!!

3: The peak is so close....

1400m left....

4: 1300m!!

Pag 15

2: Since I was little, I've often been picked on

3: My legs were thick

4: My hairstyle was weird

5: I was too nervous

6: Every time I'd get through it smiling, but I still felt horrible and rejected

7: I just wanted to do normal things and spend a fun time with friends normally

8: One day, I saw one of my neighbour fixing a bike

Pag 16

1: That Onii-san asked me if I was interested in bikes

Since he had a small bike he used to ride when he was little, he asked me if I wanted to try riding it and gave it to me

3: It was so fun! On that vehicle that steadily moved forward, my hear danced

4: He cared about me

He pointed at my thick legs

5: Those legs

If you ride a bike, they'll become a weapon

6: and he said so

Pag 17

1: I fell completely in love with bicycles

That Onii-san gave me advices and we even raced against each other

2: “I'll turn them into weapons”, I thought, and I ran

3: But

4: After a year or so

5: Onii-chan moved

6: I thanked him one last time, and

7: When... when I'll go to high school.... I'll work hard to enter a big race

So please, come see it

I told him so

Pag 18

1: Yeah

I'll come see you

He said so, and smiled

3: Onii-san was the only person older than me that didn't make me nervous

5: Rokudai, everyone has a reason why they have to win

This first years' race, and the regulars jersey

Pag 19

1: Are mine!!

2: I'll win!!

3: Definitely!!

4: Chase me, Rokudai

The gap between us isn't closed yet!!

Pag 20

1: What's up, Rokudai!!

You can't do tis anymore!?

2: He's hanging his head!!

It.... it looks like he's having a hard time!!

Even though he worked so hard to keep up until now!!

4: …... no

5: I've been in a similar situation during the race two years ago, so I know

6: I think that Rokudai's eyes

7: aren't dead yet!!

#yowamushi pedal #yowapeda #yowamushi pedal manga #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #yowamushi pedal translations #ride 706 #PLEASE KINAKA IS SO LAME #I cant even find him annoying anymore i find so pitiful and pathetic i feel so sorry for him #like ofc im very sorry he was bullied as a kid #but i mean now- his present self is so lame i can do nothing but laugh at him im sorry asdfdghjk #kangaroo legs PLEASE #idek why i laughed so hard at that its not like its the first ridiculous thing happening in this manga lmao #but anyway yeah i cant dislike the dude now hes too lame #cant wait for him to lose to roku-chan and become bestie with him #and form a nice bond with one of the senpai #i bet he'll bond with one of them and finally stop being scared of upperclassmen #you go kinaka you can get over this

[thatadhdfeel]

Hi! I've been thinking about this for..probably weeks, so I decided to ask—

TL;DR: I haven't been officially diagnosed with ADHD but I'm suspected of having it, can I still say that I have it or I shouldn't?

For more information and a bit of rambling probably:

I've been interested in psychology (mainly disorders) for years now (I'm still a minor), when I was 10 I stumbled upon depression on TikTok. I related to a lot of stuff but I didn't want to self-diagnose, I ended up researching alot— I'd spend hours! I related heavily to everything, but I brushed it off as "I probably don't have it" Like 2-3 years later my mother took me to a psychologist and I got diagnosed with depression— so that's a thing. Ever since then I've been going to a psychologist every week (This is for a little background info)

I've recently (like in January I think) been to group therapy (5 people in total (all afab, although I identify as nonbinary) +2 psychologists), it was 2 weeks long and we had to stay in a mental hospital. The first day one of my therapy partners asked me if I had ADHD— I said no, since I'm not diagnosed— so that was interesting—

After the 2 weeks were over we talked about it with the psychologists and my mom, they also mentioned that they thought I had ADHD—

Ever since then I was wondering if I had it (my Psychologist said that I'll get tested etc before the end of the school year but I haven't heard anything else about it since then). I heard about ADHD back then (years ago) and related a little but never got that interested in it and brushed it off as "I don't have it". But now ever since the group therapy I've been researching ADHD (and autism, that's another thing that I'll get into later) and I heavily relate to everything and it just clicked! I've always felt different, I was always told that I was different (also that I'm overly sensitive etc) and everything just...well..clicked— so yeah, my question is, am I 'allowed' to say that I have it?

And about the autism thing that I was talking about— I don't think I'm autistic, although I relate to a few stuff.

Also, my dad thought I was autistic for...reasons and I was taken to a psychologist (or psychiatrist, I don't remember) but they said that I don't have it (we were there 3 times, I don't remember any of it)

I also completed tests and all of them were at the cusp (barely above or below)—

If I have ADHD, then it would make sense since there can be overlaps and stuff, especially since both of them are neurodiversity

I really hope that I get diagnosed with it. If they say that I don't have it idk what I'll do (one of my friends also got weirded out when I told her that I want to get diagnosed, "why do you want that?")

If you answer this, thank you for your time and energy! I'm sorry for the block text

I hope you'll have a great day!!

Okay well first of all that friend is being blatantly ignorant, there’s definitely benefits that come with being diagnosed like medication and proper treatment…the hell does she mean by “why”…

Anyways —

I am fully in support of self diagnosis as is this blog, and people questioning ADHD are also more than welcome. You saying you have ADHD until you find out whether it’s true or not is not going to hurt a single soul. If you find ADHD resources and communities helpful, there is zero harm in finding solace in those.

If you end up having ADHD, great, you have a name for the experience! And if not? Well, in the meantime, you learned a lot, advocated for yourself, and communicated with your therapy partners+psych. I think that’s pretty special and worth it.

I hope all goes well. Feel free to come back and update us on what happens! I’d love to know.

#mod jordan #not feels

[jrow]

Fic Writing 20 Questions

Thanks for the tags @khorazir and @raina-at

How many works do you have on AO3?

13

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

268,623

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sherlock (BBC). I may try my hand at a Merlin fic in the next year, but we’ll see ...

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Beautiful Pictures

A Week in November

Lines in the Sand

The Man with the Cartier Frames

That Time of Year

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love getting comments, so it’s the least I can do (even if it takes a few days). I love when authors respond to my comments, so it’s only fair.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Like many of the people answering these questions, I don’t write angsty endings. I considered it for Jam (I almost didn’t include the epilogue) but I love a happy ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All my fics have happy endings. If I had to pick one as “happiest”, I’d say The Man With the Cartier Frames.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have not, luckily. I’ve had a weird comment or two where I’ve thought “why did you tell me that”, but nothing super negative.

9. Do you write smut?

Not really? I’ve written some mature scenes that allude to things, but don’t go into detail.  

10. Do you write crossovers?

No. I have particular objections, but I doubt I ever will.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, Lines in the Sand has been translated into French and That Time of Year into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t. I don’t object to the concept, but I’m not sure I’d be a great collaborator given my current writing style. I think I’m better at betaing which gives me a way to work with other fic writers.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

This is really tough. I feel like it’s okay if your “all time” favourite ship changes every five or ten years. I mean, I am a very different person at 40 than I was at 25. My favourite to write is definitely Johnlock—they have a great dynamic and are both really interesting characters in their own rights. So, they are definitely up there. The other ship that comes to mind in terms of those that have really stood the test of time for me is Goren/Eames from Law & Order:CI (a very small fandom). Goren has a lot of Sherlockian traits and Eames is just incredibly cool (and both actors are gorgeous, which doesn’t hurt!).  I discovered Merlin in the last year or two and really like Merthur (honestly, I also really like Mergwenthur which I never thought would be my thing, but Gwen is so lovely), but it’s too early to tell if that will last long enough to be on my all time list!

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Corsi, my NHL Johnlock AU. I have a couple chapters written, but I started it a long time ago and my writing style has changed a fair bit since then. I think I’d want to go back and rewrite the first chapter, but that seems like a waste … so, instead, I will just leave it to languish.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I write Parentlock really well. I have young kids, so it’s relatively easy for me to make kids read age appropriate (which they often don’t in stories, be they fic or published). I hope I am also able to convey that delicate balance that parents feel—namely adoring their kids with every once of your being while wanting to throttle them.  Basically, I think I can write believable kids and believable parents.

I also think I am okay at creating cases, mainly because I become a bit obsessed with making the pieces fit.  I like internal consistency!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I can’t plot out a fic well enough that I can post anything before it’s done. Which means, that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to write a truly long fic (say longer than 50K words).  To have the motivation to write something that long, I think I would need the dopamine hit from posting and getting feedback. But, I just can’t see me ever posting a fic before it’s completely written, because of how often I go back and revise as I write. Particularly for fics with any sort of case—I’ll have the loose parameters of the case set out, but the details won’t emerge until I write. Which may mean I have to go back and edit earlier content to make those details work (internal consistency!). Even things like John’s work schedule or the timing of a phone call or what time Rosie gets out of school may change a half dozen times as I write to make the other pieces work.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? 

I think it’s fine, but it’s best if you have a half-decent knowledge of that language. The only language I would use is French, should that ever come up.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X-Files (this also seems to be a common theme)

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Ugh. This is an impossible question. I really like Beneath the Surface—I love epistolary fics and I think I did pretty well with text exchanges in that one. I am also pretty proud of Jam. So, I suppose those would be my faves.

Hmmmm, I think I am late to the game here so anyone interested in doing this, consider yourself tagged!

#johnlock #fanfic #fic writing 20 questions #fic writing asks #20 questions

[remturtle]

list five things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last ten people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your followers, mutuals and all the wonderful people on here!

HI ARU!! ILYSM!!! 💜💜💜

1. Matcha flavours!!

Especially in Milk tea, sweets and desserts! (Mainly because it’s not overly sweet when done well, and as someone who famously does not like sweets, it can be a blessing when I’m pressured* into getting a little treat while out with friends)

2. Villainess Otome Genre!

Look, okay, just hear me out. I know it’s an overused cliche now, but when I’d just broke into it there were very few that had comprehensible English translations, so I feel like I got the golden scoop. And I’m not as much of an avid reader of manga/manwha/manhua as I was a couple years ago, so I’m not bombarded with rip offs and trend jumpers all the time. That being said, my number 1 fave villainness manga is Hamefura! (My Next Life As A Villainness) (also!! New VN Coming for it on the switch?!? I’m so excited!!)

My beloved Bakarina is the golden standard of idiot MC dialed up to 100% and she IS my daughter.

3. Isekai genre!

Yet another overused cliche, but I’m not defending myself this time lmao. As almost every isekai fan knows, the medium is over flowing with shitty-lack-lustre-power-fantasy-harem-building but every once in a while (read: every once in a million years lmao) you’ll come across a read that is generally really interesting, whether it be through a new twist on the concept or just really great characters and world-building. A particular favourite of mine is Campfire Cooking. A more recent entry (though it might be a little old now? I don’t watch often.) but it’s basically just ‘salary man makes food for magical dog who happens to have the personality of a cat’ with a bit of monsters and worldbuilding sprinkled in. 100/10 highly reccomend (AroAce bonus: there is no romance or love interest 🥰)

Edit: campfire cooking was originally a light novel I believe, but I found it through the manga - which has an amazing and really unique artstyle that the anime COMPLETELY BUTCHERED (also I love my silly dragon dork Elrand(yes it’s ripped straight from ‘Elrond’(yes I thought it was very funny and a cute lil nod)))

4. Retro/Vintage Aesthetic!

This mainly applies to furniture and decoration, I’ve grown up with a lot of retro things around myself since my parents are a fair bit older than the norm for my generation, and there’s just something so cosy about it. You’ve probably heard me ramble about it at some point in our servers together but I’m planning on getting a lot of retro furniture for myself in the coming months. I’d love to own vintage clothes but the masc leaning pieces tend to be too restricting for my tastes, I prefer looser, more casual outfits.

5. Food!!!

Self explanatory. But just in case: as someone with very little emotional or sentimental connection to physical objects and an overwhelming lack of object permanence, pretty much the only thing that is guaranteed to consistently make me happy is good food. In particular I’m partial to Japanese and Korean dishes, but Malaysian food is pretty high up there too :3

|| * AKA: Being very strongly reminded to eat and not skip meals or ignore my body’s needs

#//remrem rambles #LMAO IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER #POV: you’re asked what you like and/or enjoy and suddenly you are a monk who as ascended beyond mortal desires

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

*deep inhale*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH😭😭😭😭

I’ll say it. I think this is one of my favorite if not THE favorite sick fic I’ve read thus far, ever…and I read a lot of sickfics lol 😂.

seriously and genuinly, everything about this last chapter was just so ridiculously good. Tighnaris affection, just him..like him *genuinely* not being bothered by Cyno being sick and all gross and icky, the way he just holds him and comforts him…when he was ROCKING HIM??? HELLO???? BABY BOY?????? I can’t. It radiates comfort and safty cuz nari would probably take care of Cyno forever if he needed to, and vice versa and that’s just so- there aren’t words for this!!!!- Also when Cyno began to cry…my heart literally sank. Which is just a testament to your writing for one, but also just, he was finally at his breaking point 🥺 between getting sick and making a mess and hurting Tighnari, plus that wildly high fever…poor poor thing. I love torturing him as much as the next freak but he truly was *going through it* (making me so excited to see more and explore that anxious puker and all the other silly head cannons we’ve made for this boy)

I loooooveee the fic ends too 😭😭😭 Tighnaris birthday, cyno finally *finally* getting some relief. And just the pure coziness of it all. I feel like this whole vacation will be a story that is shared with their friends upon returning and for many years to come and I love that so much 🥺

I believe that nari managed to get by with maybe just a bad cold since he was smart and wore layers, but I also believe Cyno would wait on him hand and foot, doing everything he could to make sure he returned the favor. Although he probably would end up needing to slow down cuz you don’t just casually jump from being that sick to 100% in a day. But like whatever, it’s a happy ending and they are all okay in the end 🥰

SAP TIME

I’m continually so happy to have found this blog and the others who follow and enjoy your work. Being able to find solace amongst like minded folk Sharing a niche interest with so much passion is not something I’d think possible not to long ago. Being able to share and freak out and fixate on stuff is one thing but seeing others around you who feel the same- priceless. I am thankful ☺️

100/10 work as always Earthquake, enjoy that break…. Enjoy All the things, you’ve earned it 😭

I can’t wait to see what you do next, and to see Cyno throw up on naris shoes or heizou give him self a concussion or..whatever you write

it’ll be fantastic

I don't have words, this whole comment just absolutely made my day 😭 I am almost emotional reading this, you have no idea how much this means to me

I am so immensely happy you enjoyed the fic as much as you did!! I already had a lot of fun writing it and would never have regretted the time spent on it, but knowing it brought somebody else this much joy just makes it so much more worth it!

I love writing these two boys so, so much, their whole relationship is just so soft and gentle and perfect. I loved writing Tighnari in this fic, pulling out all the stops for his boyfriend. Really showing the through thick and thin part of a relationship 😭 These two will ALWAYS be there for each other, come what may.

When I first started this fic I didn't plan on pushing Cyno this far, but I really ended up completely breaking him here. I am really sorry, my poor baby boy 😭

I am so happy you like how the whole thing wrapped up! I thought about the ending a lot before I got to that point. Cyno really deserves to start feeling better. He's definitely got several days of recovery ahead of him, I doubt he's going to feel a 100% for a while. But the worst is over and he can (hopefully) enjoy what is left of their holiday. I wanted to leave it very open ended, but if I think about what will happen next, I definitely imagine Tighnari won't get nearly as sick as Cyno did; like you said he's been bundling up and looking after himself better than Cyno, but I also imagine he'd treat it differently from the start. If he knew Cyno was going to get as sick as he did, he probably would've handled it differently, so I think he'll treat himself differently from the get go. And yes, still sick, but Cyno would 100% want to do everything for him 😭 Baby don't go overworking yourself too quickly, please.

You have absolutely no idea how much this last segment means to be, I've probably reread it three or four times now and I simply cannot stop smiling. Starting this blog was one of the best decisions I made, even if I was terrified to do it initially. I've had a lot of second thoughts about whether or not it's worth it to put this much time into being a sickfic writer, especially with how niche the topics I enjoy writing are. But trust me when I say every single moment of it has been worth it.

Not only is this the most fun I've had with writing in actual years, but getting to gush about these characters with you guys and being a part of this tiny community, it's immensely special. I want to continue being a part of this for many years to come.

Thank you so, so much again for this lovely message, you absolutely made my day with this. I want to gush more, but I'm also just going to repeat myself, so I will hush now. But seriously, thank you so much.

And thank you to each and every person who read and support my works! You are all awesome!

#I am so happy right now #thank you so much #earthquake author's note

[fantasticallyfruity4]

So last night @midnight-corvid and I were discussing how if hopper actually died eveyone and they moms would be shipping Wayne and Joyce and

Now I need to post some munson-byers family head cannons

We all know Wayne has that southern gentleman charm. The absolute rizz. Joyce deserves it. 10/10. What a man.

When they first get together and start interacting with each others kids wayne is so relieved to see how kind joyce is to his boy. Because people in this town have always judged eddie so harshly, so unkindly, so unfairly. Especially now, after all this shit. And yet she doesn’t. She treats him just like she does her own three kiddos. She’s maternal and loving and supportive and takes an interest in his interests and hobby’s and truly gets to know him. One night Wayne comes home from work a little early (around 2 am, he was feeling a little under the weather) and comes in the door to find eddie and Joyce at the kitchen table talking softly over tea. Eddie had a nightmare from the memories of the upside down. Something Joyce is all too well versed with. Of corse, Joyce and Eddie are instantly turning their worried attention to him when he comes in. (“Honey? Why are you home so early? Oh my you look so pale sit down, Eddie go get the thermometer”) (“you okay unc? Did you get hurt again?”)

Wayne and Eddie are somewhat surprisingly good at fixing things around the house. Years of being unable to pay for repairmen and fixing the car and the van and the trailer left them forced to become very handy. That means eddie and Wayne were all to eager to help jonathan get his car up and running again (“boy, this isn’t even too bad. We coulda fixed this months ago if you’d ‘a just told me. Come out with us eds and I will show you how to fix this”). God knows the byers house has a million things wrong with it from the years of abuse by interdementional monsters. And a teenaged girl with telekinesis and mood swings has led to its own damage (“we’re not mad sweetheart, it’s okay, but how did you do this to the toaster? I just gotta replace the bulb but how I’m gods name?”). On the weekends they pick little house projects to tackle in the morning before the rest of the house wakes up. Patching up holes in the wall, sanding the nail marks out of the floor. It’s their little morning routine, just them.The munson boys are handy.

Both Joyce and Wayne share the same anxiety/mindset that “if they can’t accept my son being gay they can get the hell out”. You can imagine both their surprise when joyce is welcome Steve in the house with open arms “my fourth son! Look at this, now I can officially call you my son in law! Isn’t that something! You know Steve if I didn’t love you so much I’d have to give you a proper shovel talk now.” And Joyce watches with soft eyes as Wayne kisses Eddie’s forehead as Eddie heads out on his date, and reminds Steve “drive safe out there, you’ve got real precious cargo, you know” (“I know sir, I’ll have him back before you leave for work, I swear”). She knows that when wills ready to tell anyone but Jonathan (becuase Joyce knows he knows. She can see it in his eyes when mikes over, he knows something that they’ve all known for a long time) he’s gonna be okay with it all. Hell, his chief complaint about argyle isn’t anything about Jonathan fooling around with another boy but “Joyce, that boy smokes more weed than, no offense- both our idiots AND Steve combined. And that’s a high feet to reach”

Getting close to jonathan is weird for Wayne.

He keeps to himself so much, he’s so reserved even with his mom and will and el. Maybe the most outgoing with will.

And him and Eddie settled into a strange relationship, of smoking together and pretending they believe that no one knows. They bond quietly and slowly over months of hot boxing the van and getting to know each other slowly. And Wayne’s happy got that, truly. That they get on, Atleast. But he can’t seem to find his in. The boys a good kid, respectful, polite, protective and loving of his mom and siblings and Eddie too. But Wayne just can’t find his own in.

Then one day Lonnie’s back in town, bothered by news of Wayne’s presence (trailer trash, really joyce?”) and he comes in, throwing a shit fit. And Wayne doesn’t need to have met lonnie to dislike the bastard. He treated his Joyce like shit, didn’t appreciate his wonderful kids, had the gaul to put his hands on Jonathan. And Wayne doesn’t like men like that. Small men, bullies who like to push around their kids and women. He didn’t like his own blood, his good for nothing brother for the same damn reason. So when he’s faced with Lonnie’s presence he’s almost excited to give that man the what for. And Jonathan is ready to get into it with Lonnie (“get lost dad, I’m serious. We don’t want to see you.”) Wayne is all too happy to come out of left feild and knock that man on his ass. He may be small and wirey but he Damn well can fight. And that wins Jonathan’s favor.

Will doesn’t know what to do with Wayne at first. Bob was weird, sure but he was nice enough- so nice to him and Jonathan, and tried to connect with him over nerdy things. But Wayne is a quiet man, a kind one, who loves his mom and is so good to him and his siblings like they’re his own, but he’s not sure how to interact with him. But Wayne just treats will the same way he did a little Eddie when Eddie first came to live with him. This is all very familiar to him. One day he plops down next to will while he makes his campaign. “Eddie always thought he was too cool to teach me how to play this game you boys love so much. Could you maybe spare a few minutes and help me out?”. “You watching Star Trek? Oh, I loved Star Trek back in the day, mind if I join you?”

El is a different story. Els had it hard. Too many father figures who did her wrong or died on her. So she’s hesitant to let Wayne in. He gets it. That girls been through hell. And he’s got no idea how to raise a teenaged girl, but he had no idea how to raise a little boy either and despite what local losers say his boy turned out Damn fine. So he’s not gonna push, but he’s damn well gonna try his best. “Joyce, we’re out of syrup” el calls out one mourning with a wobbly lip and water fills eyes. Wayne has come to underrated that as strong as she is, she’s real sensitive to little breaks in her routine, and this is a very important part of her routine. Because she misses her dad, and these damn waffles remind her of him. And when the boys all flounder trying. To figure out what to do, tear apart the fridge and cabinets for a spare bottle the poor girls just getting worse, pulling at her hair now. This is his chance, no pressure. “Hey, hey now kiddo it’s gonna be okay, I know it’s scary now but it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna go to the store after breakfast and fix this but right now it’s scary, huh?”. And el looks up with teary eyes and nods. “Can I give you a hug?”. She nods again, letting Wayne give her a hug. “Take slow, big breaths. That’s what I used to tell Eddie to do when he was a kid and would get like this, slow big breaths.” And when el calms down he’s got a proposition. “Hey, I know it ain’t Mrs buttersworth, but have ya ever tried peanut butter and chocolate chips on waffles?”. El looks up with shocked eyes. “Chocolate chips at brekfast… is that… allowed?”. “Corse it’s allowed! I offered it didn’t I? Whatta ya say? Give it a try just for today?”. Later that night, el invites Wayne to watch Miami vice with her and Joyce. The boys have never been allowed, understanding it’s how the girls cope, a fact Wayne respected. They’d been through a lot, all of em. But El let him inz

Jonathan and el and will getting Wayne a “#1 step dad” mug for Chanukah. He cried.

If you thought joyce was a wreck when she got her first Mother’s Day card from el? You should see her with Eddie’s. Wayne was just as much of a cry baby when Eddie gave him his first Father’s Day card too. She cries. It’s snotty. She just loves her kids so much.

When Jonathan and Eddie walk across the stage at graduation, the cheers are so loud from their 5 person personal cheering section (not including their friends of corse) that joyce and Wayne get glares from the other parents. She doesn’t care. She’s a proud mom! Wayne’s a proud dad! And el and will are so Damn proud of their big brothers. (Note: el holds max’s hand the whole time at that graduation becuase Billy should have been on that stage, too). Jonathan is used to the outpour of love from his family at school events. And he’s still appreciative of it, but he’s used to it. Eddies never really had a schools accomplishment or a big family before so this is a new experience for him. And he’s a bright red mess under everyone’s affection and attention. Joyce needs a million photos of the boys and Steve can’t stop fussing with his cap and gown (“to fix it” but really bc he’s just so in awe and proud that Eddie did it) and el and will are just smiling like idiots

[insipid-drivel]

Having DID/OSDD can be very strange as much as it can be very interesting. We use this button, which has dry-erase paint on it and a marker to go with it, to ID ourselves when someone else is in front. We needed this button yesterday.

My mom just turned 66 and needed to go in for a breast biopsy after her yearly physical showed some anomalous sparkles on a scan. There’s literally a 90% likelihood she’s fine, but it triggered me like a baseball bat to an unsuspecting mailbox. My dad fought cancer for my entire teenage years until he passed away when I was almost 17 of an HIV-related infection. It isn’t the sort of trauma that tears and claws at me on a regular basis, but I broke down hard when my mom came home after the test and announced it would be a few days before the results came back. We were sitting down to eat together, and the meltdown first manifested when I couldn’t bring myself to swallow anything. Trauma sucks like that.

When I get that triggered that suddenly, it’s scary and bewildering. 2 years ago or more, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it, and I would’ve felt very alone in my own head. I didn’t know I had DID until 2 years ago when the characters in my books stopped being characters and revealed that they’d always been with me, and that my writing was the safest way they could talk to and interact with me. The eldest of them all, Cassandra, didn’t want me to be diagnosed until well into my adult life so I would have full control over how it was treated rather than a parent or guardian and doctors running on very poor research that could’ve caused more harm than good.

Marchosias took over all of yesterday afternoon and well into the night. He doesn’t usually like to spend much time in front, but a meltdown hit me quite literally in the middle of staring at my plate of dinner. He used to be an alter I was afraid of; we didn’t get along or understand each other, mostly because we didn’t know how to communicate. Marchosias processes trauma with anger; he’s gruff and has such a distinct voice that my mother doesn’t need any announcement to tell it’s him talking. I used to think he was a demon, because if you google his name, that’s what you’ll find, but now that we’ve learned to communicate with each other, he’s one of my toughest and most resilient guardians.

DID/OSDD doesn’t have to be a nightmare sentence of stigma and awfulness. I got triggered yesterday, and reached for Marchosias to help, because I needed not to be “here” for a while. He wrote his name on the button and pinned it on our shirt, wiped tears off my face as they evaporated like magic, and ate my dinner for me while reassuring my family I’d be okay and that the fries needed salt. When asked if he was nervous, he shrugged and said, “No. I understand statistics. 90% means you’re fine. 10% means your insurance covers a breast augmentation.” He then pulled out my tablet and loaded a webpage for a tattoo shop not far from where we lived. “These guys tattoo mastectomy scars for free.”

They spent the rest of dinner talking over potential tattoo ideas while I was in a dreamworld where there were 7 moons and a man who looked like mercury come to life with a love for expensive whiskey and strawberries talked to me about how infinity ran in every direction. He reassured me my mom was fine because he’d “put in an information request with the right people.” I shrugged it off and admired the snowflakes sparkling. My alters are very good at putting me in literal headspaces that are too pretty for me to continue to be upset in.

Marchosias made sure my teeth were brushed before bed. He made sure to brush my hair, and even refilled my weekly pill organizer for me, because it was the day for that and I was too upset to do it. He kept drinking water for me, took a bath for me, and got me to bed on time with everything organized and a message on my computer screen telling me that he’d taken the memories away, but everything else was taken care of.

When I greeted my mom the next morning, she simply said she wished she could “bottle some of that”, because she was envious of the instantaneous relief that came from switching with Marchosias. Marchosias wrote a note to her to explain that he wouldn’t do it very frequently, because the more episodes of amnesia I had, the more dependent I would be on help to stay oriented in the right time and place. “We have stringent standards and checks and balances to go by,” he said with authority. “The disorientation:relief ratio has to be distinctly beneficial. We have to deal with the ramifications of our own bullshit, you know.”

Waking up always feels a little like waking up in a patient recovery room with your loved ones just outside the door talking to the doctor. In my case, his name is Alex and he was responsible for making sure my medications were organized and counted out properly. While it was me again, I still felt someone behind me, and found that Marchosias had made a convincing pile of blankets and cushions for me to imagine was him.

Remember that a lot of these disorders are survival mechanisms. Mine won’t let me forget it, and I have a dry-erase button to prove it.

#long post #actual did/osdd #actual did #did positivity #osdd positivity #yesterday was a fuckin' trip man #and my mom is fine #alter personalities #dissociation #recovery #did acceptance

[el-ly-sha-give-no-f]

What about something like mr Ben Barnes and the reader get caught in the rain and have their first kiss? My idea was first kiss, but I just tossed something out there. 💕 I’d love anything you have. Please and thank you!

DANCING IN A RAIN

PAIR: Ben Barnes x reader

looks like Mr Bin Bons again, so here is it, thanks for your request, sorry for the delayed post! I got my Tumblr normal again! enjoy <3

words: a lot

It's Saturday, which means I'm off to work today. Ben and I are planning to go to our favourite cafe that we always go to. You know..... talk about life, work or maybe love life. I don't want to talk about the love life stuff actually, but that's the only interesting topic to talk about. Well, actually I had a crush on Ben since three years ago, Yeah three years ago, starting when we met at my friend's party and we get along.

I mean who doesn't have feelings for him? It's Ben Barnes...... and I know he will never love me back, how can I know? lately Ben has been talking about this mysterious girl. He refused to tell me about her, not even a little bit. She seems like a pretty and kindhearted person that makes everyone adores her. Maybe they are in love with each other? or perhaps they are already together but Ben doesn't tell me yet? I don't know shit about this.

Ben has a great personality that makes him suit her, unlike me. The loveliest thing I like about him is he would call me using pet names such as "darling, sweetheart, love" and many more, I can't even address it!!!, I know it's a typically British thing to do but I flatter every time I hear him calling me those names from his pretty mouth.

Sadly, my "thinking about Ben" section is interrupted by my phone ringing. Speaking about the person itself, Ben is the one who calls me... probably wants to talk about today's plan. "Hello?" I greet first, "Hello,, Y/N! where are you? I'm in front of your house right now, I've been ringing your doorbell and standing in front of your house for the whole of my life," he said, "bro what?" "yes what indeed".

I run to my window, and there he is the most revising man I've ever met in my whole life, except my father of course. "Hello? you there darling?". Interrupted by Ben's voice, "Yeah, yeah I'm coming in 10 minutes", "come on, I know it's not gonna be 10 minutes" he stated to me while laughing. "No no, I promise it's 10 minutes"."okay, your ten minutes starting from now" SHIT, I immediately ended the call.

Im not even ready yet, everytime we both go hang out, this guy will never ever gonna tell me when he will gonna come to pick me up. I fucking hate it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10 minutes later

"well, you took 9 minutes 55 seconds, You did great sweetheart," he said while he stopped his stopwatch on his wrist. "yeah, yeah, let's go before someone takes our favourite spot," I said while opening his car door. ". Now we both in his car. Suddenly he asks "what's up with the grumpy voice? Is it your time of the month?" I turn to look at him while I gasp and I smack his arm "ouch! that hurt" he yelps, "Good, im not grumpy, and no, it's not my time of the month" I stated. "okay okay, sorry" he mumbles and he starts his car engine.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's hard for us to find a parking lot around the cafe, it's packed with many people today its usually doesn't, but I guess it's because of Saturday. It takes us about 20 minutes to find a perfect parking spot but our parking spot is far away from the cafe that we always go to. "let's go, we need to walk a little bit. Are you okay with that? or do you need me to carry you?" ben teased, but I just glare at him and open his car door, I heard him mumble "no? okay, alright" and step out of his car.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damn, it's really far than I thought, delighted that im not wearing my heels, just sneakers, cause im a casual and simple person, but maybe I need to accept Ben's offers earlier, Ew no! It'll be weird. Come on y/n don't be that obvious. "y/n", back to reality and I look at him, "we're here darling" and I nod.

We enter the cafe, the first thing I look for is our favourite spot, guess whattttttttt!!!!?? no one sits there yet, well I'll take the"Yet". As I walk to the table, I heard Ben calling for me, so I turn to look at him (and said johnny don't hit me you said you loved me forever LMAO NO)

"order?" he mouthed while pointing his index finger at the menu. "as usual" I mouthed back, and he show me thumbs up. So I continue walking to the table and sit down on the wooden chair. I zoned out of the window while thinking about the "mysterious" girl that Ben talking about, to focus on zoning out till I didn't realize Ben sit down in front of me. "it's my turn to pay right?" I nod but still watch people walking by the streets of London.

"y/f/n y/m/n y/l/n...look at me" he calls me with his strong tone

oh oh.....

I do as he said, I turn to look at him.

"I don't know how many times I've already ask you this question, but I can tell something is wrong, please answer me this time, are you okay and is something wrong?" he asks. I can tell he's getting annoyed right now.

"and I don't know how many times I answer your dumb question, im okay and nothing wrong!" I whisper-shout, not to get anyone in the cafe's attention or distract them cause of my voice. If he wants to know how much eager I am wants to ask about the girl.

"it is something wrong with you y/n, cmon, hey, I knew you for 3 years and you know your bullshit thingy doesn't work for me"

God help me, I swear this guy, the urge to just throw him out of the window, but I can't refuse to look at his beautiful eyes.

''it's nothing wrong Ben trust me, just tell me about you"

"about me? girl, you know me for 3 years, isn't it enough for you to know everything about me?"

"no, I mean, what's new, cmon we do this every week," I said

"Okay okay, im joking, nothing new, I brought a new book and some stuff I brought from oversees just came in front of my doorstep yesterday and about the girl that I told you, boring boring boring."

bro, it suddenly makes me excited, finally! he mentions the girl, and oh, here it comes.

"what's up with the girl?" I ask him, trying to not sound so desperate

"nyeh, nothing much, she so annoying sometimes and grumpy for no reason but I love it, she looks so cute" he replied

I didn't hear him talking, all I can do is staring at him, and the way he just talked about her made me shiver and how the feeling of jealousy I can't even describe, and it was time to ask myself.

"why not me?"

didn't even realize how stupid I am, I mumble it but enough for him to hear.

"why not you what darling?" he asks me confusedly.

I quickly shake my head" nothing, must be you that misheard it" trying to cover it up.

"maybe"

he continues to rumble about the girl, all I can do is nothing but just nod my head.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The amount of time I waited for him to talk about the girl, only God knew it.

"darling we gotta go seems like the sky is turning grey and we parked away from this cafe so we don't have time to run, let's go let's go" I turn my head up to look out from the window, indeed true.

we quickly stand up, he collects all of his stuff on the table and we run out of the cafe door, ignoring people's stares, but guess what.

IT'S RAINING!

Ben is behind me, as we continue running I heard his step become slower, I turn my body to look at him and see him just standing still. What the hell does this man think his doing?!

"WOI! what the frick are you doing Ben?!" I yelled.

"COME HERE Y/N!"

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO!!" not gonna lie, I conquer our voice will be gone tomorrow.

"just, come 'ere darling" his voice becomes slower

I groan and run to him, carefully.

"if i catch a cold you we're the one who going to take care of me, im not joking Ben, im serious" I warn him

"yeah I can see that, well no problem boss"

we just stare at each other

"let's dance?" suddenly he asks, are this guy serious?

"I can't, I don't know how to dance, all I can do is step on your feet," I said while we both laughed.

He nods, "I know, just follow me" no need to object, I just nod

He snakes his right arm on my waist, and my right hand lock with his left fingers while my other hand wrap around his neck.

we start to sway back and forth, and he twists me around, we laugh and do the same thing again and again until this one time we look at each other eyes.

"People will see ask Ben, especially the paps" I remind him

"Let them be, I want to show off my beautiful girl to this entire world, the girl that I can't stop thinking and talking about this lately, the girl whose smile is just magnificent, her laugh enough to drive me crazy, the girl that I've been falling in love and waiting for three years, the girl in front of me right now is the one who I've been waiting for, it's you y/n, it's you" he confesses.

I start to tear up and speechlessness washing over me, don't know if it's real or not, I don't know how to reply to his confession. But instead , he adds.

"y/n, I like you! I just wasted my three years confessing my feeling for you, three years y/n" he sounds regretful.

I shake my head " no it's okay Ben, it's okay, we both wasting our time, I like you too ben, I'm just afraid to confess that I like you. I thought the girl you talk about lately is a girl from your works or something, but no im so stupid to reali-" my rumble got cut off by Ben's soft lips on my lips.

Sadly we have to pull away because of our breath.

"hey" he cupped my cheek "as long as we are together, is enough," he said sweetly.

"of course" I nod and kiss him again, softly.

"Finally, you are mine and I am yours" he hugs me tightly

"quite romantic doesn't it?" im joking

we both laugh

the number of kisses we share on the streets of London and on a rainy day I can't address it.

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oh ma gadddd yeayyy!! finish let me know what you guys think, I love you guys thank you for reading stay safe and much, love <3

#ben barnes x reader #ben barnes #ben barnes imagine #billy russo x you #the punisher imagine

[the1975attheirverybest]

I’ve had a feeling this was coming. The combination of Matty repeatedly making a point to tell us they aren’t going anywhere, Jamie stressing that this is the last set of shows for a while, and Adams ATPOAIM episode is what did it for me. I couldn’t imagine them jumping right back into another album cycle after the year they’ve had, either. I didn’t even expect this second leg on tour.

It’s heartbreaking to hear confirmation, but besides COVID, they’ve been going nonstop for a decade. Longer breaks just seem inevitable as they get older.

He says a lot of stuff that doesn’t come to pass (he also said they’d take a long break after Notes which didn’t pan out), but he also speaks very deliberately. He seemed nervous when he said it, and the vibe shifted majorly, he knows the weight those words hold. Maybe they’ll make a return in 2025 or 2026 instead of the usual two year cycle.

Anyways, I’m hoping this means his solo project sees the light of day.

Yeah I think you’re right. It’s been a wild ride, the album cycle, right? With everything that’s happened, coming back from Covid and all.

I was talking to @abiiors about this, and, we were saying how this might be a similar thing to what ended up happening with the Arctic Monkeys. There were a few years when they paused. As their families and personal lives grew. And we got TLSP in the meantime. You know?

And, like, let me make a disclaim rn cuz some of y’all in my asks and dms need to fuckin chill. Im NOT saying I don’t want the boys to rest. They SHOULD. It made sense for them to operate the way that they’ve been operating for the past decade because they were establishing a career. They were practically children. From Drive Like I do, to The EPs. By the time ST was a thing they were like 23. They’re grown men in their mid 30s now. Mentally, socially, physically, their lives look very different. They’ve been in serious relationships now. Baby boy Hann is growing up and Hann has been on the road for most of these big important milestones as a father.

It just doesn’t make sense for them to keep going the way that they have been. Ross is now a producer. George has produced a bunch of other records. Matty’s broadened out and made friends with Phoebe and Jack Antonoff (who may or may not be his solo project producer). The boys are growing up. (That’s was going to be the subject of my ‘essay’ on BFIAFL btw. That’s why I’d called it ‘boys to men’ like as a pun on Boys II Men.) that means that their art and their jobs are going to grow and change as well. Slowing down is essential.

And while we’re on the subject, I don’t think that the way they’ve been going for the past 10 years is sustainable. It’s not right. Not healthy. You guys know how Matty always says “we create in the same way that we consume”? It’s true. Because of streaming, post-modernity, etc (especially post-Covid), our consumption of art and entertainment has changed. We have shorter cultural attention spans. A song that came out 6 months ago is already old news today. So, with Notes, Matty has talked about wanting to keep putting out records as long as he has something meaningful to say and as long as culture is hungry for more. And while that might sound like great news for us as fans cuz it just means that we’ll always have new content around the corner. But let’s step back from that for a moment, yes?

That’s not healthy for him. He has already worked himself to the bone over the past ten years. Even at his worst and darkest moments he was making music. And he’s a bit of a workaholic. Sure, he doesn’t have a family just yet, but that doesn’t mean he should do this to himself. Obviously, it’s his world and his life and if he feels okay to keep doing things a certain way, that’s his business. I’m just saying that as fans, our investment in the boys doesn’t begin and end with consumption and creation. I’m interested (as I’m sure many, if not all of us) in his health and sanity. I can cite endless examples of great artists from the past few decades who burnt out hard and crashed because they didn’t want to “waste the moment” or tried to capitalize on their fame when it hit peak levels. I’m personally really proud of Matty for doing this past year clean / off the drugs, and in tip top physical health. What I wish for him, whether he chooses to pursue it or not, is that he would give himself time to be bored. Stop and learn how to deal with the quietness of mundane everyday life. Cuz, that can fuck a person up. Sometimes, when you’re so used to the lifestyle that the boys have lived for the last 10 years, just going home and being with the people that you love feels like torture. And people easily start self-destructive habits to cope with that. I want him to learn all that on his own terms, you know?

My sincerest wish for him is that he will continue the tremendous growth that he’s shown over the last few years. By leaning even harder into the healthy habits that he seems to have established for himself mentally and physically. Not backtrack and fall on the old nonsense. But in order to be able to do one or the other he needs to actually HAVE TIME. We all know this is a real issue for him. That’s what fuckin RoadKill is about. “When I think I won’t die from stopping.” “Not really how babies get made,” etc. it would genuinely be healthy for him to feel like he’s gonna die from stopping and then learn that he won’t actually die.

So that he can come back and be creating from a place of security and mortal dread. To pick up a guitar/ pen/ whatever he uses to write because he wants to and he has something to say, not cuz if he doesn’t, he might go insane.

This is true for all of the boys, Ross is the other ostensibly single one whose immediate private life might feel quiet too. (For all we know. Like he might be in a serious relationship that’s not our business.) really this is true for all 4 of them. And of all the people who have loved and supported them over the past 10 years. This isn’t easy on family and loved ones and their live musicians and crew either.

If they have to miss and album cycle or two, then so be it. Maybe we will get Matty’s solo record. Maybe we’ll get DLID, maybe that weird feature film that he’s been writing for as long as I can remember, maybe, maybe, maybe….. all that would be great but not necessary.

HAVING SAID ALL OF THATTTTT. Let’s not fuck around. For many of us, the 1975 has been the constant, comfort, strength, love, meaning etc. and it going away for however long that will be, is LEGITIMATELY A SAD THING. There is absolutely no reason to minimize or trivialize that pain. Or feel that you are selfish or don’t care about the boys, or any less of a fan, just because you find that having to imagine a future when SATVB isn’t on tomorrow or the day after, and we aren’t hyperfixating on or analyzing Matty’s cryptic speeches or thirsting after his torso extremely sad/ difficult/ bittersweet/ lonely/ scary. C’mon. Some people have been in this fandom since ST (not me), that’s their whole fuckin life, man!!!!! It IS sad. You SHOULD cry. ITS OKAY TO BE UPSET. and frankly anyone who makes people feel bad for that is a piece of shit.

Saying things like “oh they’ll be back.” “They’re not going anywhere.” “Matty will be chronically online” are all true BUT THEY DONT CHANGE THE FACT THAT THINGS ARE CHANGING. FOR GOOD. ITS OKAY TO FEEL HOWEVER YOU FEEL.

The boys are still around for the next few months. Let’s cherish them (and each other) while we still can. But imo this is not a silly subject and it’s okay to be upset.

Love y’all. The 1975 forever 🩷

[archersxartxblog]

the start master post

Chapter ten is up now. and it is longer then I meant it to be. so I hope it's all good. took me a bit longer then normally to get it all done. but there we go. I know normally past the chapter in the post with a read more. but...um Fifteen pages is pushing it for that. so it might be best if you just read this chapter on A3O. I will put the first little bit here for you guys to read.

-

Chapter 10

Emmet,

I’m sorry about this, but I wasn’t able to contact you through your X-trans all day. I assume you’ve just been busy.

Normally I would have just emailed this to you but I figured you’d want to see the contents in full, so I’m having one of my assistants drop it off to you at Gear Station. You’ll see why once you receive them I’m sure.

This letter was lying on my desk this morning, not quite sure where it came from or who this Professor Laventon is. In it, there was some rather interesting stuff that I think you’ll like, if the person in the picture is who I think it is. 

I know it’s not exactly what you’re probably looking for, but at least this proves that he’s okay. And maybe you can use this to get some of the media off your back.

Though I thought he’d only been missing for three years? Do you have Nephews I don’t know about?

Anyway, I’m going to be looking into some of this a bit more, would like to know who this Professor Laventon is; maybe I can get in contact with him and find out more.

I’ll let you know if I find anything useful.

Don’t be a stranger.

Professor Aurea Juniper

To whom it may concern 

I hope my colleague Professor Juniper was able to track you down fairly quickly despite the little information we have to go off of. And I apologize for any unnecessary stress this all might have caused.

You don’t know me, But my name is Professor Laventon and I am currently working for the Galaxy team expedition to complete the first Hisui Pokedex. 

I’ve come to understand that some members of your family have gone missing both several years ago and fairly recently.

About a month or so ago, the Pearl clan, one of the two clans located here in Hisui, came across two young boys in a blizzard. Their ages I’d guess to be between nine and eleven.

After speaking to them both myself, and gathering a bit of information on them. I do believe these boys might be your missing Nephews. First and foremost I wish to let you know that they are both Safe and have been living with their father in the Coronet highlands, whom I believe might almost be another missing member of your family. A brother perhaps?

Their father, Ingo has been living with the Pearl clan for the past three years after being found with a major head injury, he is currently serving as a Warden to one of the Nobles of Hisui; and has been suffering from amnesia for the past few years. Reason he has not been able to reach out until now.

I don’t expect you to believe me based on my words alone, so enclosed is a picture I have taken of the three of them in my lab so you can confirm. 

Please, if I am right, and these are your missing family members, reach out to my Colleague Professor Juniper so that you can get in touch with me; and I will do my best to try and secure you passage to Hisui to reunite with your family…if that is what you wish.

Thank you for your time

And hope to hear from you soon.

Professor Laventon

“Ingo.” He whispered his brother’s name as he felt hot tears slowly slip down his face. It had been three years since he last saw this brother’s face. Three long, Hard years. 

The picture looked like it could have been taken only a few days ago, the picture still looking shiny and new; with no signs of any kind of weathering. Yet just looking at it, at the people in the picture; something in the back of his mind told him that this had been taken a very, verrrry long time ago.

“Hisui.”

The word came out a whisper feeling both familiar and forgien to him. Like something he had learned as a kid and not spoken about for years.

Slowly he stood, grabbing the photo and letter before shoving them into the pocket of his white coat.

Wiping his eyes quickly, the Subway boss quickly made his way out of his shared office and stopped the depot agent he spotted. “I am Emmet. Tell the others I am taking the rest of the day off. Please manage yourselves accordingly.”

Before the agent could even begin to reply Emmet was already on his way out the door, sending a quick message to Eleas to meet him at his and Ingo’s shared apartment.

—

Emmet pulled the ridiculous hood of his tunic further up over his head, holding it in place as he and his family made their way across the open landscape of the Icelands; as they made their way towards the Pearl clan settlement.

A train would make this journey so much more pleasant, he couldn't help but think, even enjoyable. A shame there were no trains in Hisui.

Though really the journey wasn't so bad compared to the trek to the highlands, if you chose to ignore the biting wind that hit them the moment they had been past the cliffs. and the snow drifts that would swallow his boots with every few steps, forcing Miss Lady Sneasler to have to pull him free. And the ice that would send his brother tumbling back to the ground every few feet, causing their dad to try and catch him.

Nevermind, the journey was worse than the journey to the highlands; or at the very least just as bad. 

They should really see about getting some trains out here, or at the very least a ride pokemon. 

Emmet had seen Akari riding around on a large white Stanlter looking pokemon. He wondered if any of their pokemon could evolve into something they could ride on. If not, maybe they could catch something like that.

"Looks like we're getting close to the settlement." Their father called out, his voice easily cutting through the icy wind. Emmet's shoulders sagged in relief at this and somewhere to his right he could hear Ingo voice similar feelings. "We'll head right for my…our hut and warm up a bit by the fire, maybe have a cup of tea before we head to the main tent. The meeting won't start until the others arrive."

The thought of getting out of the snow was enough to reignite the fire in Emmet’s furnace, as his pace started to quicken towards the settlement. Or he would have had someone not grabbed the back of his tunic, effectively holding him back. 

At first he had thought it was his brother, it wouldn’t be the first time Ingo had grabbed him like that because he had become too excited. But a quick glance to his right revealed his brother lying on his back on the ground after having fallen again, making no move this time to get up. Seeming to just accept his fate and remain on the ground. 

This left only one person and upon looking a little further back, passed his hood, he saw his father with a tight grip on his shirt; his usual frown pulled a little further down with concern. “Please try not to become Uncoupled from me.” the man said with a bit of worry clear in his voice as he hauled Emmet back towards him, the action made easier by the ice under their feet. “Let us move with speed, but not Haste, Emmet.”

With a sigh, Emmet gave a nod and let his engines cool once more as his dad released the back of his shirt and offered him one of his hands; which Emmet gladly took. Once Emmet’s hand was firmly in his grasp did he turn his attention over to his oldest, who was still lying on the ground and staring up at the sky. 

“Common, Ingo, right your tracks so we can continue along our route.” their father laughed as he leaned into the boy’s view and offered his other hand. “You shouldn’t give up simply because the route is difficult. Link up with us, so this three car train can depart.”

“Sne!”

“Right, Four Car-train. Apologies, Lady Sneasler.”

“Do I have to?” Ingo whined slightly, even as he reached up and took his dad’s hand; groaning as he sat himself up. 

“Yes.” their dad answered, giving Ingo’s arm a small tug upward, as he and Lady Sneasler forced the boy to his feet once more; holding him there until he found his footing “You’ll get sick if you lay in the ice and snow for too long.” Once they were sure the older twin wasn’t about to fall again, he let his arm relax but kept the hold of the boy’s hand. “Now, are we ready to depart?”

“Yeah.” Ingo sighed from the other side of their father, and Emmet gave a curt nod, wanting to get moving. 

“Alright then. Let us set forth. All aboard!” 

It was still slow going as they moved across the ice, as they now had to make sure that if someone slipped that it wouldn’t take the whole train down. But the moment they were back on a well worn footpath things started to pick up a bit more speed, though still not as fast as Emmet would have liked; his locomotive slowed by the cars coupled behind it. 

The second they were close enough to the settlement one of the guards ran up to greet them as they neared the settlement, a swinub running up alongside him and sniffed at their legs to check for Zoroarks. Or at least that was what his dad told him they were doing. Though Emmet was sure they would have been able to spot a Zoroark a mile away; as their black fur would have stood out against the white snow. “Warden Ingo! Lady Sneasler! Good to see you all made it. You're the second Warden to arrive. Elder Cabala and Ursaluna arrived just yesterday.”

Their father gave a nod in greeting, unable to to tip his hat as he normally did with his hands currently being held onto by the twins. “Yes, we made sure to schedule an early departure; though we had a few delays in getting here as not all of us seem equipped for the ice and snow.” Then his frown became a little deeper as seemed to catch on to something the guard had said. “Is Warden Gaeric not here yet? I thought he’d at least be the first one seeing as he is stationed in the icelands.”

“Oh, Warden Gaeric was here earlier but he went with the hunting party.”

“I see.”

“Shall I inform Lady Irida that you and your family have arrived?”

“If you wouldn’t mind. We will be in my hut if she needs me.”

Throughout the whole conversation Emmet had been trying hard not to seem rude but couldn’t help his fidgeting a bit as his father talked with the guard; he’d honestly been dreading it the moment he saw them approach. All he wanted to do right now was go inside, take his boots off and warm up; and this guard just had to come over and chat his dad up.But before he could get too fidgety they were moving again.

Emmet sighed in relief as they finally entered the tent, practically collapsing on the raised wooden flooring as he kicked off his boots; shivering slightly as his damp feet met the cool air of the hut. His brother managed to remain on his feet long enough to release his pokemon, getting Litwick to light a fire in the hearth; before collapsing on the bed that made up the bottom bunk. 

Emmet also took the cue to release his own Pokemon, only letting out Tynamo and Joltik as Scyther was a little too big for the tent and would be bothered by the cold. It wasn’t long after that before their dad’s Gliscor also joined them as well.

“Please put any wet clothing next to the hearth to dry.” their dad called out from the door, slowly pulling his own black, much more modern looking boots off. “I don’t want either of you getting sick while we’re here.”

Quickly Emmet grabbed his boots from where they had fallen, bringing them over to the fire and setting them down; and after a moment of consideration he pulled off his tunic as well and set it down as well, neatly folding. It was nowhere as wet as his boots but it had still gotten pretty covered in snow on the way here. It was just better to remain in the thick black underlayer as the tunic dried rather than continue to wear it and let the water soak through. Ingo on the other hand took a bit of prodding before he finally pulled his tunic off and set it by the fire. His being almost soaked through from the amount of times he’d fallen on the ice; almost to the point that their father was tempted to ring it out to try and squeeze the water out of it.

Once that was all taken care of, their father quickly set to work on making tea out of the dried berries and leaves he had stored away in the tent for days like these. Pulling out the extra clay cups he had stored away that, a well over a month ago, had been meant for company and saw very little use; now seeing regular use for the twins.

“So what’s this Warden’s meeting about?” Ingo broke the silence as they waited for the water to boil, his pokemon coming to sit next to him by the hearth.

They hadn’t been told much about the Warden’s meeting before leaving, that they would be heading back to the Pearl clan settlement and remaining there for a Fortnight before heading back to the highlands. So about two weeks. Which explained why they had been collecting and preserving food all week.

Emmet had honestly assumed the meeting was going to be something along the lines of the Gym leader meetings their Uncle Drayden had dragged them to almost every year. Though those had been hosted in fancy hotels and were in a different city every year. Mostly they ended up having to wait in the hotel room for the meeting to end, and they never lasted more than a weekend.

“The Warden’s meetings take place every two months, where the Wardens of the pearl clan and their Nobles gather to discuss the happenings all over Hisui with Lady Irida.” their father started to explain as he got everything set up for tea. “It takes place over several days, and there is a large dinner before the meeting starts, and then a large Boon fire in the settlement once it’s finished.” He removed the kettle from the hearth once it had finished boiling. “For the past few meetings The Galaxy team has been the main talking point, and I’m sure they will be brought up once more this month as well. Though I get the feeling the focus may be shifted to the recent string of frenzied nobles.”

Emmet and his brother looked at each other at this. This was the first time they had heard about frenzied nobles, whatever it was, it didn’t sound good.

Luckily their father seemed to pick up on their confusion and worry as he handed them each a cup of the warm liquid. “Right, you both arrived just after the Lord of the Hollow was quelled.”

The Warden took a deep breath, breathing in the warm scent wafting up from his own cup as he tried to find the words. “Over the past several months, around the time that Akari arrived, strange lightning has been seen coming from the rift in the sky above Mt Coronet; striking the noble pokemon. Causing them to overflow with tremendous power and go into an uncontrollable frenzy.” their father let out a shaky sigh as he spoke. “The first was Lord Kleavor, followed closely by Lady Lilligrant, then the newly appointed Lord Arcanine was hit the moment he evolved. Lord Electrode was the last to be struck… I am very glad you two missed out on that last one as many have gotten hurt due to these frenzies, both people and Pokemon.”

“Miss Lady Sneasler isn’t at risk, Right?” Emmet spoke up, his smile dropping as he thought about the possibility of something like that happening to Miss Lady Sneasler. The Nobles they had been told were already pretty strong, and if the others were anything like Lady Sneasler then they were no doubt verrrry strong indeed. 

During their time living with their Uncle, they had heard of the many legends of the Unova region; as their Uncle believed that such stories should never be forgotten, such as the story of the great dragon and tales of the swords. But they had also heard stories from outside of Unova, and this lightning causing the Noble Pokemon to become powerful but uncontrollable sounded a lot like the Mega evolution from Kalos; where pokemon were flooded with power but it ultimately caused them some harm in the end.

But his father just smiled and shook his head, taking a seat next to them. “No, it seems that the Nobles that work closely with humans such as Lady Sneasler have for the most part been spared. At least for now but the looks of it.” he took a slight sip from his cup, tapping at its surface with one of his fingers nervously. “What is worrying is that if this trend continues the next Noble could end up being the one under Warden Gaeric’s care. Lord Avalugg, who is a very Large Avalugg. The damage that could be caused if such a pokemon were to become frenzied...”

“But you said Lord Electrode was quelled…so that means the frenzy can be stopped. Right?” Ingo questioned, glancing from their dad to his brother as if to make sure he’d gotten the information correct.

“That’s correct.” their dad nodded. “Akari, in fact, was the one who discovered the way to quell them back when Lord Kleavor. Or so I’ve been told. By making a special balm out of their favorite foods.” 

“Then it’s simple, we make the balms ahead of time just encase and then if Lord Avalugg gets frenzied then he can be calmed right then and there.” Ingo shrugged, a smile clear in his voice; sounding as proud as about this as he was about any of his battle strategies. “Better to have them on hand and not need them than to need them and not have them.”

“Yep. and Ingo and I can help quell him. Akari will not need to bother.”

A look of horror came over their father’s face as the man took a sip from his tea, only to be left sputtered and coughing a moment later. 

“No!” The Warden finally managed to get out, through his coughing; doing his best looking them both in the eye. “No!” he repeated as he finally caught his breath. “No! You are not!”

“But-” Emmet tried to argue but his father cut him off giving him a stern look that reminded him greatly of his Uncle. 

“No Buts. Neither of you are going near there if Lord Avalugg should be frenzied, Almight Sinnoh forbid that ever happens.” Their father gave them both a pointed look, his voice more stern then it had ever been with them. 

“But Avalugg is an Ice type and Litiwck has a type advantage, and Akari-” Ingo had managed to get a few more words in edgewise but he was shut down almost just as fast.

“I’m not happy about Akari being sent out to do this either, Akari is also Sixteen and not under my care. You both are ten and you are my sons. The answer is no. Is this understood?” 

Both brothers went silent, and gave a meek nod in return.

Slowly the fight seemed to drain out of their father, the fierce stern look slowly melting away to be replaced by a deep set of worry as his shoulders fell. “I don’t mean to get angry or to frighten, but what you are suggesting is far too dangerous for either of you. Litwick’s fire abilities could only protect you for so long.” he explained, standing up and moving to sit in between the twins, pulling them to his sides in an awkward kind of hug. 

“I’ve seen the kind of damage these nobles can do to a person up close when Akari quelled Electrode. I know, she is only a few years older than you both, but those few years have given her a bit more experience that you two simply don’t have yet.” their father’s voice shook as he spoke, and for a moment Emmet wondered if the man was about to cry. “She is also a few years away from becoming an adult, you two on the other hand have yet to reach adolescents; her body is just a bit more resilient than yours. A serious injury for her could be a fatel one to you two. I don’t want to see either of you hurt or worse.” 

His hold on them became slightly tighter as he took a shuddering breath, and Emmet wrapped his arms around the man feeling guilty for having caused this; his brother mirroring him on the other side. 

“Please, Promise me that you both will complete your safety checks, and avoid crossing such yellow lines in the future. You both arrived at this station heavily injured, I don’t plan on letting that happen again.” their father was practically crushing them to his sides. 

Emmet looked over at his brother, and gave him a slow nod, willing his twin to speak for them both as he didn’t trust his own monotone voice with the words.

“We Promise, dad.” his brother said, voice clearly displaying the sincerity in those few words as he buried his face into their father’s tunic.

“Thank you.” he gave them one last squeeze before letting them go. “Leave the concerns of the Nobles to us Wardens.” (you the link at the top of the page to read the rest)

#warden's twins #submas #pokemon au #subway bosses as kids #warden ingo #au #subway boss ingo #subway bosses #subway boss emmet #ingo and emmet #pokemon ledgends arceus #pokemon fanfiction #fanfic #fan fic writing #Litwick #the alternate title for this chapter was going to be 'there are still no trains in Hisui' #let me know what you think #if you want

[alovelyburn]

Rambles about the Golden Age Arc Part 10

After that last ramble post, @zombiesgohome pointed out to me that not only does Miura’s three (types of) love interests theory apply to Guts, Casca and Farnese, it also applies to Griffith - Guts is the one he longs for, Casca is the one right by his side, and Charlotte is the one with the money and power. 

It’s interesting really - I don’t really disagree that those are huge romantic archetypes (though I’d add “person of lesser power/money that you can take care of and feel bolstered by”) - but ultimately I don’t think it’s really tied to sex or gender, it’s just broad descriptions of possible romantic relationship dynamics.

Anyway!

Rambles about the Golden Age Arc Part 10

I know it’s not exactly news that the Hawks as a whole really loved Griffith - that’s part of the tragedy of their fate, after all. But recently I was looking over some of the later chapters, e.g. the one where Rickert smacks Griffith in the face, and one thing that comes up with both Rickert and Guts is this separation between Griffith the White Hawk and Griffith the Hawk of Light. Just like Guts struggles to maintain his anger at first because Griffith looks like the old Griffith that he loved and admired and only really goes full feral when it becomes obvious that NeoGriffith is Femto in a Griffith suit (kind of but anyway), Rickert still declares himself a follower of the original, human Griffith even while disavowing the current one.

I’m VERY interested in what’s going to happen with Casca now. She’s the one he hurt the most directly, after all. 

I had somehow forgotten that this took place a month after the queen’s assassination. That kind of puts Guts and Casca’s feelings for each other in the ‘developed offscreen’ category like Griffith and Guts’ relationship as well. I mean this isn’t a soap opera or a romance manga (kinda) so that’s not surprising and I’m not complaining. It’s just that rereading reminded me of the timing and that made a number of things click.

Actually, I’ve been having a lot of “revelations” re: Casca which I’ll get into later, probably... next post? I guess. Anyway.

OKAY SO THERE’S A LOT GOING ON HERE, lets break it up into a few character storylines, some bigger than others.

The Order is:

Corkus -> Casca -> Judeau -> Guts -> Griffith

Basically just for flow. Anyway.

1. Corkus - starting with the one no one cares about. I wrote a big meta about Corkus many years ago but I don’t remember what exactly I said, so let’s just do the nutshell version of my understanding of Corkus.

So, Corkus used to lead a band of thieves, doing his thing, before Griffith showed up and beat him down and then did what Griffith does: he ate Corkus whole, metaphorically. This is both the source of Corkus’s respect and admiration for Griffith and the source of his resentment of Guts, because his ego is contingent on the belief that when someone like Griffith exists all the normal people can do is bow down and submit... and that everyone except Griffith is normal.

That being the case, Guts deciding to become Griffith’s equal and stand beside him is an existential threat to Corkus’s self-image. If Guts can break out and do his own thing and find his own way of living then why couldn’t he? Why did he end up eaten by Griffith’s flames like everyone else? Does that mean Guts is better than him - more special than him? Or does it mean that he, a normal person, gave up his dreams for no reason?

To be clear, I’m not saying he’s going around hating Griffith - on the contrary I do think he loves and admires Griffith just like the others. But his feelings, like many of those in Berserk, are very complicated - that he has this sort of conflict in himself is evident by the way he reacts when Guts asks if he doesn’t have something he wants, too. Some dream of his own. And of course Judeau contextualizes it by explaining Corkus’s past and how he came across Griffith to begin with. But I think the most telling thingS of all are the way he rails against Guts for acting like he’s “the only one walking some path of profound suffering that no one understands. Like you’re the only one who’s special,”  and his rant about how normal (non-Griffith) people have to make due with what they have instead of trying to be winners, basically. His anger reflects his unacknowledged (even by himself) frustration and pain at having been subsumed, and his final declaration - “You can never become Griffith” is an attack on Guts, sure, but it’s just as much reassurance to himself that Griffith is the only special one and anyone who tries to maintain a separation from him is stupid.

Which is why he can’t handle it when Griffith loses that duel. It throws the belief he’s hung onto all these years into doubt, and he’s not ready for that.

NEXT UP.

2. Casca, who I’m doing before Judeau for a reason despite her being the larger character. So here is where obviously you start to really see the way her heart is drifting and her mind is changing. It’s not complete, and she’s still holding onto her love for Griffith - as she says later, she’s reluctant to let herself change because so much of her identity hinges on her devotion to and love for Griffith. But the heart can’t be controlled that way and you can see that change even when Guts makes his latest attempt to cheerlead for Griffith and Casca to get together - the sweatdrop, the feeling to her face like she’s holding something in, or struggling with something.

And obviously just her being there, just her running to get Griffith in the hopes that he can stop Guts from leaving, is evidence of it as well. It wasn’t so long ago that if she saw him leaving she would have rejoiced, but now?  

I’m sure she’s trying to tell herself that she’s upset because she knows Griffith needs him.. Which he does, and I’m sure that’s part of it... but in the end, she wants Guts to stay because she wants Guts there with her. That’s why she seems to feel his departure almost like a physical blow.

But the thing is...

...a lot of people take Casca’s development of feelings for Guts as evidence that her feelings for Griffith weren’t real - I talked about this a few posts ago, like the idea that she loved an idea of him not the real person, which doesn’t work because she knew better than anyone that the idea of him is BS. It kind of comes, I guess, from this thing I see in fandom a lot, One True Syndrome. Like all the fanfiction that insists that the two people in a couple have never loved anyone before, never even understood what love was!!, until they got together. 

It’s romantic but it’s not realistic, and in this case it’s also wrong. Casca herself is actively worried that falling for someone else will make it seem like she didn’t really love Griffith - and even after she gets together with Guts she still struggles with her feelings for Griffith, resulting in her wavering between them during the rescue.

Long story short, I think she just has feelings for both of them, and so it’s hard for her to anchor on one or the other. Ultimately her decision to accept her feelings for Guts - and later her decision to be with Guts - is... genuine, but also circumstantial. The moment she decides to call out to Guts is also the moment she realizes that there’s nothing she can do for Griffith. There’s nothing she can give him... because there’s no room in his heart or his space for anyone but Guts.

 And later, when she’s feeling torn between them again, her two decisions - first to stay with Guts and later to remain with Griffith - are really made for her due to Griffith’s physical state and needs. 

And I mean, Judeau knows that, which is why he keeps trying to get Guts to take off with her, which brings me to...

3. Judeau - So I think the main thing to keep in mind when trying to understand Judeau is that he’s in love with Casca and that really is his primary motivation when giving advice. I assume that’s what he’s referencing in that one melancholic panel where he says there’s no one who never wanted anything -- his love for her, but also his relative normalcy which keeps him from standing out both in general and to Casca herself, who does appear to have a fondness for epic hero types. 

Which brings me to what really comes to mind with Judeau and that is... the parallel between himself and Guts when it comes to the Casca/Griffith situation. Because Judeau loves Casca, but he never really tells her that or tries his own luck with her, he just hangs back and tries to arrange for her to be happy with someone else.  Based on his last thoughts during the Eclipse, I would say it’s because he doesn’t think he’s cool enough - good enough - for her... so he tries to arrange for her to be with someone who would be worthy of her. 

For years, that was really just Griffith... and while he doesn’t seem to try playing matchmaker with Casca and Griffith (presumably because he knows Griffith can’t be with her even if he wanted to) but... even then he tries to mitigate her pain over her one-sided torch. This is why he pulls her aside after the Cave incident to let her know that Griffith was worried about her and considered her vital.

But now there’s a better option: someone she could have. Judeau can see the feelings developing between them, and there’s no princess in the way with Guts. There’s no big dream. And Guts is leaving, which Judeau clearly thinks would be best for Casca as well, since being near Griffith almost inevitably means she devotes herself to him regardless of how destructive it may be for her. So...

He’s trying to set up that better option for her.

And that’s really interesting to me because it’s obviously exactly the way Guts reacted to the Promrose speech + Cave interlude. Which leads me into...

4. Guts - who, by all rights, should be a “save the best for last” but it flows too well from Judeau to resist. 

So, as Griffith’s speech works its toxic magic on Guts’ already tenuous sense of security, he begins to see himself as unworthy of standing with Griffith and thus drawing back. Meanwhile, Casca’s story, her dream of being Griffith’s sword, makes her more worthy of Griffith in his eyes.... thus he does exactly what Judeau is doing: he tries to set up Griffith with someone who is better for him than Guts himself.

I just think that’s incredibly interesting, and I don’t think he’s setting them up because he loves Casca and wants her to be happy because... it started before he had any real substantial fondness for her. Of course at this point, after all that’s happened with her, he is drawn to her. But those feelings - his feelings for Casca and Casca’s for him alike... they’re real. But they also formed in the void they felt in Griffith’s absence, starting from the platform at the bottom of the stairs where they stood side by side, looking up at the one they wanted to be near but couldn’t reach.

As of now, though, Guts has already decided that Casca is worthy of Griffith... which means implicitly that she also needs someone like Griffith to be worthy of her. 

And I mean, look he obviously didn’t leave because he wanted to win Casca - he really thought Casca and Griffith would end up together. But it does seem that once Judeau made him aware that Casca’s chances with Griffith aren’t... great, that kind of jogged his head up and made him look at the thoughts about her that he had left unacknowledged.

Which brings us to the big event of this group of chapters, obviously...

This duel is really where everything goes wrong, and the misunderstanding between these two is honestly just horrifying and painful. Each of them are mired in their own issues so deeply they can’t see what’s right in front of them - especially in Guts’ case, because honestly how does he not know Griffith loves and values him as a person - the only person he doesn’t need a reason to risk his life for. A lot of the time when I see this situation described in say synopses or discussions, people talk about it as though Guts really wants to leave the Hawks and feels stifled by Griffith’s dream, but really... he doesn’t want to leave. He’s leaving entirely because it’s the only way to get what he really wants, which is to stand beside Griffith. 

And you can see in his thoughts how little he understands Griffith’s feelings for him. Like so:

“Your confidence in me as your soldier is vanishing into thin air.” 

To Guts’ mind, Griffith is upset that he’s losing his best soldier. Like a lot of fandom thinks, but this has been disproven time and time again - even with Guts’ own words back during the “do I need a reason” scene. And in his own internal monologue in a moment we’ll see that Griffith isn’t thinking about his battle utility at all. 

But Guts can’t see that. He sees Griffith’s ongoing mental breakdown as evidence of resentment. He knows Griffith doesn’t want him to leave, sure, but he doesn’t have any idea of how much or why. And also? The only reason Guts is willing to physically fight Griffith for his independence... is because Griffith specifically said that's what he wanted someone to do in order to be his friend. 

He took Griffith’s words to heart and is trying to fit that mold, do the things Griffith needs, but the sad thing is that when it comes to this kind of topic, Griffith is mostly full of shit and lying to everyone including himself.

But it gets worse - Guts takes Griffith’s attempt to physically bar him from leaving as a good sign - it shows that he still has some value in Griffith’s eyes... which is all he’s really looking for, so of course he can’t relent.

And the thing is, his choice not to explain himself to Griffith is... I guess inevitable? It’s not like he’s hiding his reasons in general - Casca knows through implication, and he outright told Judeau and Corkus. I’m sure if Griffith weren’t there, he would have explained himself to Rickert and Pippin too. It’s only Griffith he has to hide it from, and why?

If you’re trying to be cool in front of someone, you can’t tell them you’re trying to be cool for them, it ruins the effect. He’s trying to do what Griffith wants, and Griffith said he wanted someone who lived for himself. Saying he’s living for himself for Griffith doesn’t really sound right, does it?

So he’s quiet about it. But the sad thing is, that resolve in his face - the steely determination and commitment to his path that Griffith sees as a fervent desire to get away from him is, of course, the opposite thing entirely. 

And then finally....

5. Griffith - Anyway, the second Guts says yes he’s leaving, Griffith’s visibly goes into full panic and he never comes down from it. In fact, I would argue this scene is where the Griffith we knew until this point disappears. Because from here until the torture dungeon he’s barely functioning (mentally) and then after that he’s broken... and after that he’s Femto. So... you could say Guts’ swordstrike is a deathblow to the Griffith he knew, and we knew, until this point.

Now, I’m going to say this again: I think if you don’t believe Griffith is literally in love with Guts you’re just wrong. I don’t... say that very often about interpretations but I do think this is pretty explicit. And this is relevant because there’s this fantastic post by @strugglewithlonging that goes over the internal mechanics of Griffith’s loss and it hinges on the understanding that Griffith loves Guts, which he absolutely does. 

Post on the Duel!

The duel has always been something I struggled with... because I suck at visual interpretation (although I’m making an effort to improve). It just seemed odd to me that Miura made a point of saying that they’re evenly matched and then had Guts win this completely one-sided battle so decisively. For a long time I just figured it was about Griffith’s bad footing and emotional instability, but it was THAT POST that made me realize that Griffith is actually not attacking at the angle or in the way that his strategy demanded. In short, they’re evenly matched, but Guts is determined and committed to his course of action... while Griffith completely lacks the ability to truly risk Guts’ life.

And this is pretty... consistent, right? Because he lets Guts get away in the Eclipse - he reaches out as Femto with the intention of crushing him but then just. Doesn’t. And ever since then, with the minor exception of the Black Swordsman arc when he defended himself from a blow to his head and ended up knocking Guts into the floor), he has never actually struck at or raised a hand against Guts, ever. I know a lot of people consider that an issue of Femto/NeoGriffith thinking Guts is beneath him... but he doesn’t? He went all the way to the Hill of Swords to see him because he knew there was a chance his feelings could be a confounding variable. In his Femto form he says a lot of shit, but that’s just Femto talking smack specifically to upset Guts, which is obvious but also mentioned in the guide book. 

In any case, it’s a perfect storm of awful that leads us to this point. It’s Guts asking Griffith why he would risk his own life for a soldier, Griffith all but admitting that Guts isn’t just a soldier to him, and how that made Guts feel. It’s Guts overhearing that speech at all, much less when he is in an incredibly vulnerable mindset from the incident with Julius and Son. It’s Casca falling off that cliff and ending up in a cave where she tells Guts about her dream of being with Griffith. It’s multiple assassination attempts on Grififth that forced him to bring Guts into his confidence and show his dark side - the part of him that he hates and tries to keep from the world. The part that leaves him shaking and self-harming, that he thinks no one could accept. And it’s Griffith asking “Do you think I’m cruel?”* and Guts trying to be supportive by essentially saying yes by omission - even though that’s certainly not what he meant to say.

....I’m also going to interject here and note that the actual Japanese says something more like “Do you think I’m a deplorable/terrible/disgusting person” as I recall. Which makes his insecurity even more obvious and is more in line with his question to Casca re: being dirty.

And this is all so important because Guts was always able to see that side of him without flinching, or turning away... and that’s what lets Griffith start to unclench a little at a time - which is obviously not easy for him as he himself tells Guts - 

Guts is his haven. That’s the thing. He’s not just Griffith’s best soldier, or even just Griffith’s only friend. He’s not even just the man Griffith obviously loves. I mean... obviously. He’s also Griffith’s only safe harbor. He’s the support system Griffith has always denied himself, going back to that river when he carved up his own arms after selling himself to a pedophile and then swallowed down his distress to support Casca instead. 

And now that support system is leaving - didn’t even bother to say goodbye! - and his lack of explanation will obviously lead Griffith to one conclusion: Guts is trying to get away from him. So... yes, Guts thinks he’s a disgusting person, a cruel person, and even if he figures it’s inevitable that Griffith will be that way to pursue his goals, that doesn’t mean he wants to be there for it, or involved in it. That’s what Griffith hears, even though Guts totally did not say that. Even though what Guts actually thinks of Griffith is... very different. 

And it’s sad because they both want the best for each other and they both want to be near each other, but the skew in their perception is evident. So evident that when they think back to the beginning of their relationship...

Guts sees Griffith fighting to obtain a soldier, and Griffith sees the first time he ever opened up to someone.

Ouch.

Now, before I go (despite only covering two chapters, I don’t even know), here’s a pretty explicit parallel that reveals how Guts thinks Griffith sees him:

Just a rock on the side of Griffith’s path - something he didn’t care about, but was willing to use to his own advantage... just like he’s done before, right?

But, of course, it wasn’t true then, either. 

Til next time!

OOOH IM PUTTING THIS ON THE MAIN BERSERK TAG nothing happens there anyway but at least I haven’t seen a lot of batshittery like there was back in the day so we’ll see.

#berserk #rambles about berserk #berserk meta

[heywenjamin]

🏳️‍⚧️ happy trans awareness week 🏳️‍⚧️ proudly bringing awareness to yet another year’s worth of joy and nurture the trans community has brought me. thank you to everyone I have had the privilege to call friends and family over these past months, and to the talented creators I’ve gotten to collab with!! and with a heart full of love, here is a new well overdue pfp 🫶✨ also I don’t think I ever got to introduce myself before but since I’ve officially hit 1K abt a couple weeks ago I’d like to properly take this time to properly say hi 💖 hey y’all, I’m Wenjamin! I go by they / them pronouns, and I’m an autistic and nonbinary model. my special interests are cats, social equity, and sustainable fashion. I got the chance to start T when I was an adult already moving out of the family household, and while I do envy those who were able to find themselves earlier on I realised that it was totally okay.. life ain’t a competition! and it ain’t never too late to take a hold of your destiny 🌟 check out the las vegas fashion week show coming dec 10 and see me walk 🥳 Show @unitedtfs Producer @farhanmch 📸 @kanecandrade 💎 @ullabeads . . . #trans #queer #lgbt #nonbinary #pride #ftm #transgender #hrt #alt #transman #model #transmasculine #transpride #altmodel #selflove #transmodel #asianmodel #nonbinarypride #transisbeautiful #transpositivity #transguy #selfmademan #vitamint #transmanofcolor #qtpoc #transawarenessweek #transweekofawareness #nonbinarymodel #enby #unitedtogetherfashionshow (at Oakland, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClJqEKCJ_qn/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#trans #queer #lgbt #nonbinary #pride #ftm #transgender #hrt #alt #transman #model #transmasculine #transpride #altmodel #selflove #transmodel #asianmodel #nonbinarypride #transisbeautiful #transpositivity #transguy #selfmademan #vitamint #transmanofcolor #qtpoc #transawarenessweek #transweekofawareness #nonbinarymodel #enby #unitedtogetherfashionshow

[bandhyukoh]

Nosaj Thing on collaborating with HYUKOH

Disclaimer: This interview belongs to Passion Of The Weiss. Find the original source here. November 7, 2022. By Will Hagle

I’m not going to go through every single feature even though I could, but I wanted to ask about the next track, “We are (우리는).” I wasn’t as familiar with Hyukoh so I was wondering how that one came together.  

Nosaj Thing: Oh yeah. This one’s interesting. My mom and I are close. My mom put me on to Hyukoh. She put me on, dude. I’d heard of them, but I didn’t do a deep dive at the time. During the pandemic, you needed to check up on your mom. So I was just there like every week, taking COVID tests and things like that. I was just like, man that’d be crazy if we do a song together.

Within a couple years I was noticing we had mutual friends. You know when you notice something and start seeing it everywhere? It was like that. I also saw, with Virgil at the time, they did music for one of the fashion shows for Louie Vuitton. I was just like… Man, it’s a sign, it’s coming together. It wasn’t specifically that show, but I was just starting to see signs.

So I contacted Oh Hyuk, who’s the singer of Hyukoh. It was kind of a similar story to Duval. He was just like, “I was listening to your music a lot back in the day” or whatever. I was like, “Wow that’s crazy.” I sent him some ideas and the song came together.

That song was the most difficult. Maybe it was the time difference, because I had to catch him in Seoul time. Something just wasn’t hitting on that song. I couldn’t figure it out. I was struggling with the drums. I also love DJing. When I DJ, I mostly play house and techno. And this rhythm just came in my head. There was a track by Martyn called EF40. It took me a while to gather the courage to contact him. Also I felt like I was breaking some rules by sampling a drum loop from a friend or a record that came out 10 years ago… I was like, Is this okay? Is this okay to do? So I contacted Martyn and played him the song. He was like, bro this is what I’m thinking… He gave me his blessing, and sent me the original stems to those drums. That was it. It came together. That was the final ingredient.

#hyukoh #nosaj thing #hyuk #t: interview