#if theres gonna be a breakup i will die

[xotrashratxo]

Nerdy Prudes Must Die: Thoughts During the Premier last night Part 2: Everything Else

⚠️SPOILERS FOR NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE UNDER THE CUT!!!!⚠️

AND THERES OUR BACKSTORY YALL! 

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

She’s so evil I love her. 

OMG MINOR KEY

FORESHADOWING??? 

THE HATCHETFIELD ACTION NEWSSSSS

Kyle and Brenda are so adorableeeeee

AWEEEE EVERYONE’S ADORABLE!!! they’re gonna die. 

Mariah’s extensions kinda ate. 

THEY ARE SO ADORABLE IM GONNA CRY!!!! 

Jason and Kyle are so in love lol. 

N-IG-HT-AWE AWE- ks! 

FUCK clivesdale. 

FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE WE’LL KILL YOU! 

AWEEEEE

I LOVE FORGIVENESS!!! 

oh no he’s gonna die. 

Here comes the horror bro. 

OMG ITS THE INTRO!

Get this shit a Kill Count. 

OH MY GOD THE GHOST MAKEUP I LIVEEEEEEEE unlike Richie. 

RIP Richie. He was just starting to live. 

I hate theatre kids /j

HE’S EATING

THE SMOKE CLUB OMGGGG

OMGGGG ITS THE NAME OF THE SHOWWWW

HE’S RUNNING AROUND THE AUDITORIUM!!! 

It’s giving 80s I love it. 

REPEAT AFTER MEEEE I LIVEEEE

WHO WILL PRAY FOR ME WHEN I’M GONEEEEEEE

OMG THE BACKGROUND GIRLIESSS

THAT SHIT HIT SO HARD OMGGGG

THE NIGHTMARE TIME THEMEEEE

THE LIGHTNING!!!!  

FUCK CLIVESDALE. 

RUTH FLEMMING OMG

And we’re all caught up. 

GASP THE COOL BEANS WERE SPILT

THE HATCHETFIELD ACTION NEWS WITH DAN AND DONNA!!!! 

Fucking Clivesdale. 

oh I love fear mongering. 

YESSSS REPORTER JOEYYYYY DAN REYNOLDS I LOVEEEEE

OMG THEY’RE EATINGGGGG

OMG HATCHET SOMG EATS

NOT DONNA

“DAN!” 

Ziggy cameo!!!!! 

MAN IN A HURRY!!!!! 

I love a cameo song!!!! 

CHARLIE

THE LOCKDOWN OMG- 

She ATE HOLY SHIT!!!! 

GERALD

LINDA

THIS EATS I LIVEEEE 

JAZZ HANDS

“Suddenly the show is real upsetting!” 

HOLY SHIT THAT ATEEEE

Slaaaay miming Joey

The barbecue monologueessssss

What accent is that. Southern, New York, slightly British???

YESSS MIMING

PUNSSS

Oh Barbecue monologues is gonna fucking EAT. 

Fucking TREVOR. 

Thank you 10! 

Uh oh. 

OH she’s a theatre kid. Aw I’m gonna cry at her death. 

no the lighting is red. 

*Ruthy EATS* 

She just wants to be loved ☹️

YESSSS LAURENNNNNN 

Im gonna cryyyyy

NO THE RED LIGHTTTT

HER ANXIETYYY NOOO

NOOOO

Stop I’m cryingggggg

*Pets dead Ruthy’s head* 

That ATE omgggg

*Drinks hot water instead of coffee.*

Fuck Clivesdale. 

oh shit at the old Wayland place. Next to the body. Fuck. 

GOD’S PLAN 

OMG SHE SWORE

OMG SHE DREW A GUN ON A COP

OMG GRACE IS EVIL

OMG THE COP THEMEEEEEE

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN

PAUL AND EMMA HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT

CUP OF BLACK COFFEE THEME

IM GONNA DIE

HE’S ON  NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH

PETER IS HOT CHOCOLATE BOY CONFIRMED

If they start singing Your Fault I’m gonna scream.

Speaking of, “HWHAT???” 

OMG THEY’RE BREAKING UP. 

Love a good angry breakup sexual tension song

OH MY GOD HE CALLED HER A MEAN GIRL GET IT CAUSE MARIAH WAS REGINA GEORGE OH MY GOD

They’re gonna kiss. 

Grace swearing is hilarious

LOOK OUT SHE’S GOT A GUN

*whips out a Canadian accent* 

THE COPS THEME

INTO THE ALLEY OMG

*screams* 

Omg she’s crazy

ALL TOO WELL MAYOR??? 

COREY OMG

why is the mayor…. Kinda fineee??? 

HE KNOWS. HE KNOWSSSSSS. 

Why is mayor lauter….. kinda fine????

THE STARRY CHILDREN FUCK

AXES. 

It’s the lords fuck. 

Bro said fuck science. 

GASP. He’s killing his daughter. 

GASP X2! He foreshadowed this! HE SAID HE DIDNT CARE IF SHE DIED OMG I OMG OMG. 

Her dad is a cultist omg

THE NIGHTMARE TIME THEME OMGGGG

THE BLACK BOOK OMGGGGG

THE FUCKING- THE FUCKING DARK GODS!!! WIGGLY AND HIS FUCKERS

THE LORDS IN BLACK OMGGGGG

He already performed a ritual didn’t he

OMG HEAD IN THE CAR OMG GET IT

well shit there’s red lighting. 

shucks. nothing like traumatizing Corey and Mariah by killing their kid/parent

THE STARLIGHT THEATER (TGWDLM), THE MALL (Wiggly), OMG

Officer Shapiro eats. But NOT. Ben. 

Couldn’t avoid the tide pods huh? 

RIP Officer Shapiro, she was a bad bitch. 

bring about the apocalypse. The apotheosis is upon us. 

OH THAT HIT. 

ATEEE

HELLO FWENDY WENDSSSSS

I love them omggggg

OH GET IT CAUSE PETER IS RELATED TO TED AND THE TIME ONE. 

PALLY WALS!!!! 

OH MY GOD EVERYONE WHO’S A LORD HAS DIED. 

DROWSIE TOWNNNN

NO NEVER WHATEVER THEY WANT

why do I get Oompa Loompa vibes tho. 

WHAT DO YOU WANT STEPH!!!

Nooooooooo my boyyyyyyy

They’re fucking EATINGGGG. 

Oooooh they ate. 

Noooooooo my boyyyyyyy

IM CRYINGGGGGG. 

NOT A FUCKING REPRISE IM GONNA DIE

IM GONNA CRYYYY

I think I own that flannel. 

ANYWAY I’M BAWLING MY EYES OUT. 

OH MY GODDDDD

NOOOOOOOOO

OH MY GOD

IM FUCKING CRYING

IM CRYING

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Grace! Distraction! Yay! oh no. 

I hate this. 

Grace is so evil I love her. 

Sexxxx with a ghostttt-

ANGELA ATE THAT UP. 

Grace, you fucking queen. *Smokes a cigarette after sex.* 

LMAO HER CHASTITY GET IT. 

THAT ATE OMG MY BOY IS ALIVE OMG MY FAVORITE STRAIGHT COUPLE IS ALIVE!!! 

Rip Mayor Lauter, you were kinda hot. 

FUCK Clivesdale. 

OFFICER SHAPIROOOOO MY QUEEEN

OH MY GOD THE FIRST SPANKOVSKI MAN TO KNOW HOW TO DANCEEEEE

OH MY GOD ITS A POP PUNK REPRISE OMGGGG

oh this makes me smileeeeee

but the cliffhangers that come from Hatchetverse. What’s the twist. 

This homecoming flash mob is too good. I’m terrified. 

this is too good what’s happening. 

What’s the twist here. What is it. WHY IS THERE A BLACKOUT. 

THATS WHAT I THOUGHT. THATS WHAT I THOUGHT. 

aweeeeee this is gonna be bad. Yeah, get tricked Jason. 

She’s gonna kill him. 

Yup. the sequel: Horny Pervs Must Die. 

OH she’s a reverse succubus? 

YESSSSS TWIST ENDINGGGGG

DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE LMAOOOOO

Grace is psycho and I love her. 

Angela, my chaos hamster. 

WHO WILL PRAY FOR YOUUUUUU-

Darkness will spare my soul! 

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

ATEEEEEEE

THE FUCKING HATCHET SONG FOR THE CREDITS I LIIIIIVE!!!  

#starkid #team starkid #nerdy prudes must die #hatchetverse #npmd #lords in black #nerdy prudes spoilers #grace chastity #max jagerman #peter spankoffski #stephanie lauter #richie lipschitz #ruth Fleming #fuck clivesdale #npmd spoilers #starkid npmd

[oetscop]

anyway uhhhh im struggling to focus bc my neck hurts like fuck so im gonna talk abt max and dizzy. and like elaborate on the whole "theyre the same person" thing

so max is my truesona right? his name (maxamillion) actually has a personal meaning to me. my whole life ive fought with identity and ive always had this sort of scattered sense of self. a lot of that comes from childhood neglect and housing instability growing up. every time i move or something bad happens i feel like i get splintered off into another jagged piece of myself, and as life goes on the older pieces get eroded away until i cant even remember who that person was.

i dont want it to sound like DID or something, because its not. its very different. these "other people" never exist at the same time as one another or anything like that. sometimes i can kinda call back how i was at those times in a nostalgic imitation sort of way, but like. its still me? i guess? i dont know.

maxxy is kinda based off the sort of shameless open bleeding wound of a person i was at one time. i was loud and wasnt embarrassed by it. i was open with what i enjoyed. i was clingy but oblivious and sometimes unrealistic.

dizzy is sort of like the more "rational" side of myself. he thinks hes smarter than max because he's been hurt more. hes more familiar with rejection sensitive dysphoria and has been through the same sort of really bad relationship and amicable breakup i went through, as well as the fallout that caused my entire friend group to splinter. hes apprehensive and distant and refuses to trust anyone to an unreasonable degree, hence the quotations.

hes perpetually trying to knock max down a peg or snuff him out. he reminds him how annoying he is when hes loud, he constantly tells him that expressing any emotion about a situation is manipulative. a lot of his character comes from the song hope by roar (among others) and specifically the line "if your hearts upon your sleeve, amputate the arm." hes very motivated by revenge.

really he comes from a well intentioned place, but hes also aware that hes being harmful. he thinks its for the best.

and in his defense max isnt a good person either, not entirely. hes terrified of losing people, but instead of growing distant to avoid pain like dizzy, he becomes incredibly clingy. constantly disarming himself and asking what he would have to do to keep someone around. he has no sense of self and is willing to just drop everything for someone. even if they hurt him. hes also insecure and somehow also full of himself.

but like, they are also literally the same person. the same dog, i guess. but they can interact physically with each other. dizzy looks exactly like max, just with mirrored fur patterns and is more desaturated in color. his hair is also like....greasier. and matted. max has really soft hair but dizzy spends most of his time in bed or just at home so he doesnt take care of himself. sometimes max can convince him to let him brush it. they have a very codependent relationship with eachother. well, okay that makes it sound romantic. its more like a symbiosis sort of thing. parasitic perhaps. theyll kill eachother together but theyll die if theyre apart.

it actually started with like..giving max an A/B/NLM sorta thing (since i do that a lot actually! give ocs traits from a specific media i like a lot. one of my other sonas shrinks when hes upset like cassie from dragon tales) but it sorta just became what it is now. idk why?? i still sometimes draw max with a flower on his head tho lol. its hard not to involve that when hes my truesona and care and paul r like........the focal points of my entire identity and sense of self rn lol. but theyre also nothing like max so i scrapped that.

idk this makes liek no sense lololol. theres far more "versions" that i might flesh out in the future? but for now its just the two of em. hooty hoo

#tongue #max #dizzy

[mayclair]

#oh god no no no no no #if theres gonna be a breakup i will die #seb matthew smith #carlos rodriguez #seblos #high school musical the musical the series #hsmtmts #this is from the interview linked in joes story btw

[surpriserose]

I desperately need to read Cioccolata going to Cheesecake factory post the breakup with Secco and meeting Diavolo the cute new cashier and they kiss 🥰

Wow...thank u for that

Idk if people want any warnings but theres just mentions of alcohol and smoking so yeah the real warning is cioccolata :(

Cioccolata had never been so sad in his entire pathetic life. He felt like he was back to not committing malpractice crimes and actually healing people. Breaking up with Secco had killed his poor shriveled soul and Cioccolata needed to drown his sorrows in cheese. So the worst man in the world rolled into the local cheesecake factory, which like him, pretended to be way better than it really was. But like everyone can still tell the vibes are off even if the fried mac and cheese slaps. Cioccolata walked through the revolving doors and was slapped in the face by the most gorgeous man he had ever seen and then slapped for real by the revolving door as he stood there like the lovestruck idiot he was. Cioccolata was swept along in another revolution before he was actually able to get free and talk to this handsome man. His hair was the shade of pink of the pony Cioccolata never got for Christmas and the leopard print lice was so sexy Cioccolata wanted to die and that's not even getting started on how greasy this man was. Cioccolata hadn't felt like this since he met Secco before that giant hussy Jotaro stole his man. Thinking about his breakup made Cioccolata want to cry again. So he did, all over the stupid fucking beeping thing that tells you when your table is ready the beautiful greasefire of a man was handing him. The man looked so sick of his shit ten seconds in. "Can you go cry in the bathroom like a normal person?" The man said. "Thats the nicest thing anyones ever said to me," Cioccolata sobbed. It was true. "I don't care." That was the second nicest thing. Cioccolata looked at the gorgeous manlet's nametag. "Your name is Diavolo?" "Goddamnit," Diavolo said. Cioccolata's buzzer thing buzzed, making the two of them jump. Diavolo sighed and grabbed a menu and led Cioccolata to his table. As Cioccolata slid his fat ass into the booth he turned to Diavolo and asked, "Would you like to join me?" Diavolo turned to walk away until Cioccolata said he would pay for everything. Then Diavolo slid his own flat cutting board ass into the booth. Who gave a shit if he was working or not he was gonna get some free burgers and cheesecake. Idk this is a drabble im not going through every fucking motion just know Cioccolata is eating so much fried mac and cheese and Diavolo is drinking as much alcohol as possible. "Does this count as a date?" Cioccolata asked. "Its been a while since I've been on a date, i mostly just took Secco out for walkies." Diavolo took another shot instead of answering. If he did answer he would say that he didn't go on dates and he was honestly kind of a voluntary incel. "Oh, la mia piccola spora di muffa," Cioccolata said, ignoring that Diavolo grimaced at the pet name, "you have something on your cheek." "What?" Diavolo asked, turning his head to face Cioccolata right as he leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met and they...ki..kissed 😳😳😳 Diavolo tasted like cigarettes and coffee which is sexy now I guess and Cioccolata tasted like cheddar cheese and expired milk. Diavolo was surprisingly into it. That's desperation does to you. Then they lived happily ever after <3

#Okay so arbys cheesecake factory subway red lobster are all crossed off now #Jjba #jjba diavolo #Cioccolata #Cioccolata x diavolo #Fuck it IM tagging shit now too idc #Jjba fanfic #Vento aureo #jjba drabbles #Unsanitary #Just in case #Seccotaro #UwU

[helmarok]

GOD GOD GD GOD GOD GOD THAT EPISODE WAS SO MUCH. ITS SO ? LIKE . YKNOW. EXPLODING. like how much jessie cares about the other two yet how much she Does Not know how to deal with it properly and IGH I CANT PUT IT INTO WORDS RN BUT !?.??

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I CAN BARLEY PUT IT INTO WORDS EITHER IM STRUGGLING WRITING THESE ESSAYS ON HOW THIS TRIO BREAKUP IS DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHERS

it was just so so sad!!! like unbearably so!!! not to mention them starting off the episode with JESSIE ABOUT TO DIE????? SAYING FAREWELL TO JAMES AND MEOWTH BEFORE GETTING CUT OFF PASSING OUT??? HELLO???????

it showed a part of jessie's character thats not really shown if at all. like shes known to be a softy at times but this was a whole other brand dude like she straight up knew what the other two wanted so badly, and knowing she couldnt do the same she let them go. fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK MAN

she handled it bad but in a way thats so human and so jessie, but you can feel the character development over her years in the show throughout the whole damn episode. she wasnt mad at her friends for being happier settled down; in fact, the way she approached it seems like she knew this all along and knew that day was coming eventually, even though she herself wasnt ready for that life

and im 100% gonna admit im overthinking the hell outta this one, but the way james and meowth try to shrug off that life they want in front of jessie, saying that its nothing and theres still team rocket what about team rocket. and jessie sees right through that. she sees right through it and this time she thinks no no no yall are NOT staying miserable just to keep me happy

theres way more to it like little bits of repeated phrases and symbolism in the episode but the amount of shit i have to say is really hard to form into words but ill probably go off about it all eventually

#askbox #friends and mutuals #jn095

[saturngrqy]

hii, so i was wondering if you could write something about y/n and gray being in a long relationship but they end up breaking up for some reason and a month or two later rumours start about y/n seeing someone else which are not true but g believes them. and then they end up seeing each other at a party or something and theres a lot of sexual tension between them, so they end up fucking and g is being v possessive, so later y/n explains it all to him and they figure out that they can’t be without each other okay yeah this is a mess, hope you find it interesting enough to write it lol thaanks!!

Holy shit this is long, I’ll do my best:) Ty for submitting this<3 I’m gonna skip the smut tho because I’m not good at it LMAO

warnings- angst, fluff, cursing

You rolled your eyes at your phone, seeing yet another tea account on instagram creating some stupid rumor that you’re seeing someone else, solely because there was a male voice in the background of a story you posted on snapchat. The voice was your brother. 

The truth is, you could never move on, and if you did, it would take months. Your previous boyfriend, Grayson, was the love of your life. You were almost certain he was the one for you. You had been together for almost 2 years- he was your first for everything. First kiss, first time, first serious relationship, etc. However, Grayson ended things abruptly once fans found out that you two were dating.

Grayson himself wasn’t exactly sure why he broke up with you; he really did love you, but at the time he was only thinking about his career and reputation, something he did too often to admit. He was too afraid that the numbers would die, that his fans wouldn’t accept you and in turn stop supporting Ethan and him. As stupid as it sounds, it has happened before. 

Your stomach fluttered, your heart suddenly beating too fast, a sign to stop thinking about him. Your friend had made it very clear to you that Grayson was not worth it and that you deserved better- which you did agree with, however, even though he hurt you, you could still only ever see yourself with him and only him. 

-

Grayson adjusted the sleek black louis vuitton belt on his green pants, silently wishing he could just stay inside in sweatpants with no shirt. He stood up, walking to his closet to grab his signature scent perfume, quickly spraying it over his chest and torso, as well as his wrists. He walked out of his room, seeing Kristina and Ethan standing all prepared by the door. 

“You ready to go?” Ethan asked, referring to a new years party that they’d been invited to by one of their youtuber friends (again pretend covid does not exist). 

What neither of them knew was that you would also be attending as a plus one to Adele, the twin’s assistant. Despite the fact that Adele still worked for them daily, you still remained friends because she was the only one who hadn’t ditched you after your breakup. 

Ethan left to go use the bathroom, not before being scolded by Kristina and Grayson for not going while they were getting ready. Grayson sat down on the double sided couch, leaning back and going onto instagram to entertain himself. He ended up going through his tags, something he rarely ever did. However, this time, noticing a screen recording of your snapchat story was being reposted constantly. Hooked by your name, he clicked on the post, almost immediately regretting it as he read the caption. 

“Grayson Dolan’s ex- girlfriend, Y/n Y/l/n posted this video at a restaurant with an unknown male voice in the background. Could she be moving on? Thoughts?”

Grayson’s night was instantly ruined. Grayson was upset you could move on so quickly, he couldn’t even look at another girl without thinking of your beautiful face. His heart clenched in his chest, making his body erupt into an uncomfortable sweat. He was no longer in the mood to party. But of course, right as he was about to go back to his room to change and go to bed, Ethan came out of the bathroom, ushering Grayson up and out of the house. 

-

The stench of vodka consumed your nose, causing it to scrunch up in disgust. You definitely were not fond of drinking, you had drank before in high school and it only ever caused problems. When you met Grayson, he showed you that you didn’t need drugs and alcohol to have fun, and ever since, you hadn’t touched a single drop of it. 

Adele rushed you through the crowd of drunk adults, claiming she was gonna find you two a ‘spot’ to chill out with much less people. She led you to a secluded part of the massive house, a room with a couch and a table, and on the table was ‘cards against humanity’ a game you hadn’t played in years. On the couch sat Juanpa, Mando, Ethan, Kristina, and Grayson. 

Your breath got caught in your throat, and apparently Adele noticed, because she turned to you before breathing out a “I had no idea he’d be here, I promise,” but you knew she was lying. You just rolled your eyes, going to sit in between her and Juanpa at the end of the sofa. 

You felt a pair of eyes staring at you, so you looked up to notice a pair of hazel orbs gazing at you. You gulped, avoiding Grayson’s eyes. You excused yourself, going to the bar to get a coke. 

You poured the coke into a red solo cup, writing your name onto it in sharpie so no one drinks from it. As you screwed the cap back on the liter, a firm hand approached your shoulder. 

“Hey,” Grayson whispered.

You turned around quickly. “Hi,” you said awkwardly. 

“How are you?” He asked. You shrugged, taking a sip of your drink. 

“Could be better, I’ve just been catching up on school. I’ve been working towards my bachelors degree,” you explained, quickly spilling information. That was something you’d always been insecure about; you always thought you talked too much about anything and everything. Grayson thought it was adorable. 

He smiled. “That’s good. Ethan and I have been working on some new projects. We are working on bath items for Wakeheart,” he informed, referring to his scent company with his twin. 

You just nodded, taking another sip. 

“I fucked up, Y/n,” Grayson spoke suddenly. 

“What do you mean?” You asked confused. 

“I fucked everything up. You were the best thing to ever happen to me, and I fucking ruined it. I’m so fucking sorry,” he spoke, quickly rushing all his words out. 

“Grayson,” you sighed, putting your cup down on the counter. 

“No, Y/n, listen to me. You mean so much to me, and I was such a fucking idiot for letting you go. If I could take it all back, I would do so in an instant.” He explained.

“Grayson, you had months to apologize. You broke me. Why are you just now telling me this?” You questioned. 

“I have no idea. I was nervous, I guess, because I know that you wouldn’t take any bullshit excuse. I don’t have any excuses, I have no clue why I did what I did. I love you so fucking much Y/n, and I always will.”

Instead of responding, you just grabbed his jawline, leaning in to plant a passionate kiss onto his lips. He quickly kissed back, wrapping his arms around your waist. He pulled away, grabbing your arm before walking you to a room down the hallway. 

-

You woke up to the sun shining through the plain white curtains, looking to the left to notice Grayson’s sleeping naked body spooning you. You smiled softly, turning to give him a kiss on his forehead. He grunted, stretching his arms before gently opening his eyes. 

“Good morning,” you whispered, leaning in to press a peck to his lips. He soflty hummed, pulling away, bringing you into his chest. 

“Good morning angel,” he spoke. “Can we talk?”

“Already? We just woke up,” you giggled. 

“I know, but it’s important,” he said sternly. You hummed in acceptance, putting all your attention onto the man in front of you. 

“Are you seeing anyone? Because theres this video going around of you and some guy, and I don’t want to intrude if you are seeing someone,” he whispered. 

You snorted, looking up at him. 

“Grayson. That was my brother,” you informed, watching his face twist in realization. He laughed, pulling you in even tighter. 

“Good, because I want you all to myself.”

This was trash ok bye

#grayson dolan #grayson dolan smut #grayson dolan blurb #grayson dolan fanfic #dolan twins #ethan dolan #my writing

[quillsink]

😭🌹for the ask!

😭 What awful things has your historical figure done?

*cracks knuckles* Now to list the shittiness of John Laurens.

Im gonna keep this short, but if you want more info, you can check out the blogs @/john-laurens and @/ltcol-laurens, and here’s a post on Laurens and slavery

As sincerely as a Republican can be to a Royalist

REVOLUTIONARY-DEMOSTHENES

One, he treated his slaves pretty terribly. Well, they weren’t technically HIS slaves, they were his father’s but still, SLAVES WORKED FOR HIM AND HE WAS AN ABOLITIONIST NEED I SAY MORE

Yes I will aNYWAYS. Here are some instances I can think of - John’s father sent some clothes for Shrewsbury (John’s slave) and John basically replied if there is any difficulty getting him clothes, “I believe he can do without” JOHN YOU FUCKING—

Shrewsberry had a hat “violently taken” from him while at camp, and Laurens said that he should be more careful next time, PLACING THE BLAME ON SHREWSBERRY, THE LITERAL VICTIM HERE MY GOSH THIS FUCKING RACIST—

When John died (I think it was after his death idk) Someone wrote of John’s slaves, saying they were naked and had little to no clothes (this fancy boi continuously asking henry for clothes and not giving his slaves any like a fucking hypocrite once again HE HAD SLAVES IN THE FUCKING FIRST PLACE-)

He wrote that slaves needed something of a gradation between “abject slavery and perfect Liberty,” so he still didn’t think they deserved equal rights as whites. *sighs* John you fucking racist why. Why. WHY.

He also called them an “unhappy species.” s p e c i e s. S P E C I E S. HE CALLED THEM A FUCKING SPECIES

Idk the exact quotes, but he also said they have subordination impressed on them from generations of slavery, and he also said slaves have “weak minds” or some shit and JOHN SERIOUSLY

He was slightly sexist (though not as sexist as some others), but this is a little more complex to study, so I haven’t gone that deep into it yet. I remember he visited Martha (his sister) at Bath once, and was pretty fussy about deportment and grace and some nonsense, and he once referred to some quarrelling officers as ladies disputing at a country dance (i think this was in reference to the french officers at rhode island but i don’t remember the exact quote) and generally he talked of women in a pretty sexist fashion, like they should know their place etc.

Aaaand then theres the whole Martha Manning thing. I think marrying her after getting her pregnant was the right thing to do to protect their honour and to make sure the kid was legitimate but like...John... WHY WOULD YOU GET HER PREGNANT IN THE FIRST PLACE. I get there were a lot of motives, like the Francis breakup and internalised homophobia etc, BUT IT WAS STILL PRETTY MEAN TO GET A WOMAN PREGNANT WHO YOU DONT EVEN LOVE AND NO ONE WAS FORCING YOU TO AND THEN BARELY WRITE TO HER JEEZ

I think @/john-laurens has a good post on this

Again I haven’t studied this as much as I’ve studied racism so if anyone wants to add on to this feel free!

Gosh this got long lmao just me ranting about John’s shittiness

🌹 If you can save anyone, who would it be?

JOHN LAURENS. While he was still very, very racist, I believe he may have been able to help with abolition and fast forwarding racial equality (not much but still) and imagine a Hamilton Laurens duo at the founding of the nation. Perfect.

Also I just didn’t want him to die lol

#asks #ask ink #byrd #john laurens #tw racism #racism tw

[mingmingfufu]

Can we just talk about the ending of KawoShin open discuss. *sort of spoilerish*

I feel like I’m the only one who’s like reallly disappointed LMFAO--ya’ll there’s so much “canon” alternative universe and merchandise for Kawoshin in Evangelion that it kind of makes me upset to realise this couple just went down the drain. Yeah, I can see how people were like, “Kaworu’s toxic” or “Kaworu has a hero complex for Shinji” to which I say are valid points. But the toxic thing I feel like can also be applied to pretty much everyone around Shinji tbh, except for Rei. I did NOT, like Asuka at all but I really love her character though, and I felt for her a lot throughout the series.

I did not ship them either because honestly, Shinji and Asuka seemed better off playing the sibling dynamic instead of trying to play bf/gf which honestly is kind of forced by their living situation. Also since they’re in a similar disposition non existent father and dead mother, you’d imagine they would rely on each other for emotional comfort. Though Asuka—her personality I feel like she can’t differentiate between familial love and romantic love and the affection she wants is a bit of both. But, her character tries to be “mature”; she wants romantic love more and does this through sexual means and romantic gestures e.g. like kissing. One of my friends told me that you can’t stay friends as a boy and a girl cause eventually you catch feelings. Which I say is kinda dumb cause I have a lot of male friends, and I definitely don’t harbour those feelings, but I guess it’s a common phenomena.

I think this is what happens in this case, of Asuka and Shinji. Even after rejection of instrumentality they actually are depicted as childhood friends. But knowing how they both were before to each other, it was not good tbh. Also to mention the choking like thrice— bro if anything, this showcases a really abusive relationship and I think this outstretches the idea of their character tropes. Which I firmly stand by saying they’re superficial to each other. AsuShin were never really there for each other and are using each other in a forced situation. However, you can’t deny that they didn’t at some point catch feels, also Shinji is pretty consistent how he still cares about everyone around him. Which I really like how they add that to his character because it reminiscent of Yui, because you see a duality of both his parents personality in Shinji throughout the series—it’s a really nice touch. But bruh, if we gonna talk about that coma scene—I’m out LOL.

Thoughhhh, she is a true definition of best girl I really like her arc, fighting drive, and her skills as an Eva pilot 😭💗--but bruh she’s still a toxic and sometimes annoying tsundere trope, but still she’s 14 what can you do. So I feel like Kensuke and Asuka are actually a pretty good combo, cause he’s always been pretty mature even without parents. Also Asuka was into older guys, so I guess this is a win win?? Also Rei and Shinji, I honestly cannot get my head around it cause that’s pretty much his mom—so in a way that’s like either his half-sister or mom-ish clone?? Idk but Yui is definitely the donor LOL.

Kaworu and Shinji I felt like brought a bunch of things out of each other. I don’t know which timeline begins first, but I’d like to think the manga, the anime (plus its movies), and then to the rebuild series. Because I think that order is kind of pivotal to observing Kaworu’s character development from being a person who’s trying to understand human feelings to then the kinder person we see in the final series. You can tell how he’s changed and he knows Shinji a lot more as well as being considerate to him e.g. giving him personal space or letting him work at his own pace. Also that “we’ll meet again.” Is an obvious nod to how he’s done this before.

His literal story in every timeline is always romantic LOL, like bruh I can’t remember which game it was but basically a bad ending of Kawoshin route is that you reject Kaworu and he starts the third impact 🤡. Also I don’t know why but I started to see a weird dynamic between those two, in the manga their interactions reminded me of Asuka and Shinji—which Shinji is the tsundere Asuka here. I don’t know if this is relevant but the older character relative to the character they’re with seems to play off a mature vs a childish person trope. Asuka is younger than Shinji and Shinji is actually younger than Kaworu. Then again I could be overseeing this but istg manga Kaworu and Shinji mirror the whole Asushin dynamic. Like he’s seriously agressive against Kaworu, then after killing him he admits liking him. 🤡 I don’t know which is funnier no homo Shinji, homophobe shinji, or just closet Shinji who needs to realise sexuality is a spectrum so he could’ve idk—come out as bisexual, but whatever manga Shinji lol that timeline is over.

Anyways the development of these two is real and I think the rebuild timeline shows them at their best bringing their own personage out from each other like how they both enjoy music together--WHICH I’M SO SAD WE NEVER GET TO SEE THAT CELLO AGAIN. Then there’s those feelings of humanity, love, kindness, etc. Which yeah an angel could represent those things, but Kaworu is still his own person, self-aware of a cycle and if you think about how he initially was there to USE Shinji, but ultimately turned on that plan set by SEELE because he loved Shinji (and a bunch of other things like him showing Kaworu humanity). I also can see the argument, how “ideal” Kaworu is to Shinji, but he’s more self aware of the time he has before he KNOWS he’ll die and knows how to act for himself in that duration to make the most of it. All with Shinji. At some point, I think he fell in love with Shinji tho I don’t know where it began tbh—considering that all those alternate universes do exist. Kaworu does romantically love Shinji--so, in some universe they both reciprocate their feelings to each other. 

In the last movie during that convo with Shinji. Like bREH it’s so emotionally moving because Kaworu remembers ALLLLL the timelines and how he’s been with Shinji and later Shinji himself recalls the events too. Where they show the scene from the manga and anime. Kaworu cries after being set free from the EVA cycle. Which, I definitely understood what he meant by him saying “it’ll be lonely” and how Shinji changed or that he’s actually different this time.

Either way, Shinji did right by him because it’s always Kaworu who has the purpose of “trying to save Shinji” but it always ends up the same. I thought that was really moving because Shinji tells Kaworu he’s gonna let him live a life for himself for once and he wants the same for everyone as well. Which was honestly so meaningful cause I think Kaworu’s character and like Rei too when they start to realise how to “live” like a person and not another puppet it’s truly liberating. Another thing I forgot, bruh Kaworu calls Gendo his father and ngl I feel like this is kind of a weird lore situation because I for sure don’t think he’s the donor. I think he calls him that as an insult because he knows Gendo’s whole doing and relative to Shinji—I kind of see it as a joke LOL. Like it’s equivalent to saying, “daddy chill”, or “hey look it’s daddy and his plans to end the world” also I kind of like to think of it as a father in law thing cause you know, Kawoshin *winks amirite*

The ending, I’m honestly hoping is just an open ending because it gives everything an actual start of their adult lives not being dictated by extraterrestrial forces. Though, I’m kind of wondering if the world doesn’t have EVAs does that still mean everyone else still has the same backstory, and do they remember? Maybe Mari really is just a coworker lmfao, and there’s still a chance for Kaworu and Shinji cause ngl, they did have a convo (presumably from the spoilers) about still remaining close afterwards and that stare at the ending seems very hopeful.

I call bs from Anno saying, “oh Shinji is based off him and Mari off of his wife”, like honestly any OCs made theres always some part of yourself made into that character. Which is probably why a lot of people relate to the characters in EVA because they’re based off real things (e.g. those war machines characters are named after and people around them). I think why Kaworu and Rei are together at the end, is bc they’re very much the same. They’re mass produced dolls—which oddly enough that’s the case for all the children except they don’t recall the loop. Kind of funny also how both Kaworu and Rei became farmers lmfao so ig it runs in the family (yes that’s right I like the idea that they’re siblings it was always noted that they’re like “the same”).

Another thing, i think why the rebuild really did well for Kawoshin and in my opinion canonised it—the convo with elder Ryoji Kaji (Misato’s baby daddy) that there was a time he felt incredibly lonely and depressed thinking Misato didn’t love him and so he started looking out for himself. So self love and found himself a hobby in farming which he suggests to Kaworu—basically saying he might feel like Shinji doesn’t love him but he’s gotta remember to take care of himself. if I go thru a breakup ill feel like it’s the end of the world but Kaji says y’a gotta self love broe and take care yo self gad dam fam 😭 💗.

Though, that look at the end from Shinji to Kaworu—I’d like to believe there is still hope that one day when they’re a bit stable in their adult lives, they’ll run into each other.

#Kaworu Nagisa #shinji ikari #neon genesis evangelion #rei ayanami #mari illustrious makinami #asuka shikinami #discussion #kawoshin #nge kaworu #nge shinji #nge

[spnshameblog]

Honestly, it pisses me off that they didnt let cas grieve Jack properly. Yeah the finale of s14 and the start of s15 were very busy and we see him be real sad and shaken on occasion (esp interacting with belphegor), but imho the show AND fanworks following 15x03 kind of forget that he watched his kid die just days ago and then had to burn a demon out of his corpse shortly after that. And as heartwrenching as the breakup at the end of the ep is, i dont think it makes sense to focus on that as the only source of cas' pain. I cant even imagine what headspace cas is in at the end of 15x03. He still feels guilty about Marys death, hes fucked up over Jack dying, hes probably still upset that dean locked him in a Box, he feels even more guilt over rowenas death and sams pain and i think burning his childs possessed body probably added a unique flavor of trauma to it all. Oh and his powers are failing for some reason and the man he loves wont listen to him just told him hes dead to him (cas probably knows dean well enough to know that deep down he doesnt mean it, but that would still hurt). This might be my cas-bias, but im simply incapable of criticising anything he does in that time period lol.

This is probably why im a bit more harsh on dean during the first half of s15. Cas had to basically watch his child burn twice in a couple of days, you really want to be mad at him rn??? Youre really gonna be pettily cruel NOW? And i get that dean is probably still mad at Jack bc of mary and its a kneejerk reaction and you can SEE him regret his words immediately, but jesus christ. Youre not gonna mourn him at all? I hate a lot of the dean and Jack storyline in the last seasons bc its just so ooc to me and makes me so incredibly mad. Dean should have talked it out with Jack, they could have both apologised, hug it out, but instead we got whatever the fuck 15x17 was. It makes no sense to me why they had dean treat Jack like that, so i just ignore it lmao.

Yeah but back to my original point. Its bad writing on the shows part and also some writers just blatantly dont like cas and Jack so theres that, but i havent seen a lot of fanworks dealing with it either.

In the supernatural that lives in my head cas went straight to jody after 15x03 bc she knows what its like to loose a child and she lets him stay for a few days. The thought of cas being completely alone after all that is too painful for me, sorry.

#supernatural #spn #castiel #jack kline #dadstiel #this is NOT anti dean btw #his character is all over the place in s15 #i simply dont accept him being cruel on purpose as canon #but hes a little dumb sometimes and ppl should have told him that more often #m

[moth-based-cryptology]

Oh you know what I’m gonna ask 😏😏

Fearless Taylors version ralbert vibes GO GO GO

cause there’s so MUCH that’s so PERFECT for them

THERES SO FUCKING MUCH SHDBHDHRJRJJFHRG

how does one words on this fine day at 12:42am

OK LETS GO

- love story

do i even need to- listen ok i’m here to sob about royalty ralbert aus till i fuckin die. it’s just SO PERFECT.

just lil picnics under the stars and love drunk slow dances that are really just embraces that slowly sway in a circle cause race started humming something his mom used to sing when she got around to baking and race, furious and beautiful as he yells and shouts and fights for the right to pick who he loves,,,,, and who he loves is albert. ugh end me it’s so great

- white horse

this one is for everyone else i already yelled at jorja about this

ALBERT, BUT HE’S A LIL MORE DAMAGED AND EMOTIONALLY CLOSED OFF, AND RACE CANT TELL IF IT MEANS HE DOESNT LIKE HIM AS MUCH AS RACE LIKE AL OR IF HE JUST CANT EXPRESS IT, AND OF COURSE ITS THE SECOND ONE BUT AL C A N T GET THE WORDS OUT AND IS TOO DEFENSIVE AND JUST-

RACE SPITS OUT THE LINE ‘i’m gonna find someone someday, who might actually treat me well’ AND STORMS OUT AND SLAMS THE DOOR AND ALBERT BREAKS DOWN

like he’s sobbing and throwing things and just UGH you can’t tell me he wouldn’t punch a wall

usually albert is touchy of his own accord and loves to tell race he loves him JUST BECAUSE HE KNOWS RACE NEEDS IT but can you imagine if, despite how hard he tries, albert c a n t get the words out to tell him and race is just- tired of it??? IM IN PAIN THIS IS TOO ANGSTY FOR ME

MOVING ON-

- the way i loved you

now this is a post breakup one fs cause GOD can you imagine

race and fucking w h o e v e r, cause it doesn’t matter cause it’s not albert dasilva and he’s so painfully aware of that

race and albert would get on like fire and gasoline, or like water and oil. there was ABSOLUTELY zero in between. they were fiery and passionate and so in love that it eventually tore them apart cause they finally cracked under the pressure of so much emotion

and race remembers every little thing albert used to do that irked him and ground at him until he couldn’t take it anymore, but he also remembers every angle, every hair, every wisp of air albert breathed while they were together, cause everything about them together was extreme

and he misses it, cause he feels like he floats around now, no spark or emotion or anything. ffs he wouldn’t be able to tell you if he had been breathing if it wasn’t for the fact he hadn’t died.

and yeah, the song would have to go from “loved” to “love”, cause all that never actually went away.

- you belong with me

is this the entire reason i made this post? you bet your ass it is OH MY FUCKING GOD

first of all,,,,,,, FOOTBALL ALBERT

ffs i’ve watched remember the titans too many times for this

albert plays second string quarterback, naturally, and first string gets injured on a missed audible and albert has to make the pitch he’s missed a thousand times in practice, and he’s freaking out (this is literally just a plot point of that godforsaken movie, watch remember the titans just once for my sanity)

race is in that very stereotypical band section of the bleachers, but the instant first string got injured he’s abandoning his post with the megaphone and SPRINTING to where albert is and just pushes his hair out of his eyes, gives him a very dramatic, very race like kiss, shoves his helmet into his hands and says “give ‘em hell, baby” and that’s really all albert needs

also, just like in this movie that is for some reason a really accurate portrayal of albert as a football player, he checks the shit out of the lineman on the other team that broke first string’s hand and the other team tries to call unnecessary roughness on the goddamn quarterback

anyway

- hey stephen

this is the most important one let’s be real

has race’s pov energy, but could be either. race is naturally dramatic, but race makes albert a whole new kind of cheesy and ridiculous

but are you telling me that race wouldn’t say something ridiculous like “cause i can’t help it if you look like an angel” and NOT be embarrassed by how fucking mushy it is

cause if you are you’d be dead fuckin wrong

and the thing is, it’s a very crushy, honeymoon phase type of song

but for ralbert it would always apply. they just,,,,,, always look at eachother like the heavens parted and gave them the other.

UGH i want a romance like theirs

i think that’s all i got for now (they say, like they didn’t just write a fucking novella) thank you mother goose ilysm !!!!

#newsies #livesies #never not read the tags #racetrack higgins #albert dasilva #chandler’s ✨losing it✨ #chandler out of context #ralbert #spam ralbert gang #fearless taylors version #swiftisies #GOD I NEVER SHUT UP DO I #new tag idea #shut up chandler #there we go

[1-800-i-ship-it]

khun modern bf headcanons?

Hmm oof i am probably not the best person to be asking this cause I dont write fics or anything but I’ll do my best

So i realized that i just wrote plot stuff but im posting anyway cause i spent way too long on this ahaha 

apologies in advance for typos that I'm too lazy to go through and correct

Enjoy the headcanons that i wrote later + plots that i originally wrote and went on a long tangent on oops

Headcanons:

Khun would be that subtle overprotective boyfriend 

He’d just kinda silently watch from afar but he’d totally kill anybody who hurt bam in any way, shape, or form

But he’d like be SUPER sweet with bam like

Pet names yall PET NAMES like khun and bam would prob both mutually melt when they call each other pet names

Khun would always help bam with hw and whatnot, let’s pretend bam’s a physics genius cause thats just how i imagine him in modern life, always has trouble with law class (he’s  taking it just for khun so he can understand what khun’s talking about) so khun helps him

Khun would be a super smooth talker, can woo a n y b o d y, exceptional at speeches, captain of speech and debate team

Khun would never admit he’s jealous but like the whole gang would know (except for bam who’s clueless as usual) 

Like bam is friendly with everybody so khun’d just be like ugh screw yall 

But then bam always confides in him and spends a crapload amt of time with him so he knows he’s just doubting himself and he’s mad at himself about it cause he knows bam is loyal to a fault and would never betray him

When bam gets older bam uses this against him hehe

Khun would also be that bf that everyones jealous of 

Everyone would want to be with khun but he only has eyes for bam

Ignores everybody else who hits on him

Side note i still stan top!bam and bottom!khun 

Khun would also be super thoughtful and goes out of his way to help make bam’s life easier whether its doing chores or smth etc, and each time bam smiles at him and expresses his gratitude khun’s heart would melt for the 1000th time

But like secretly khun really likes confident and sexy bam

They’d probably roleplay ngl (let ur imagination wonder~)

Khun would enjoy just spending time with bam :’) just cuddling and doing mundane things, they’d be super adorable together, hugs and kisses and ah just too cute-

Khun secretly likes bdsm and bam knows this 😏they switch roles from time to time, i cant decide who’s sub/dom

Khun would plan a super elaborate proposal to bam but then somehow bam would catch him off guard and then khun would just blurt it out when they’re together <3

Khun’d always be up early to cook for bam, they both morning ppl tho khun’s always sleep deprived bc hes also a night owl 

Khun is shy with pda in public but eventually he and bam decide they dont care anymore and just hold hands and act all lovey dovey to the point where shibisu cant decide if he’s a proud dad or if he wants to throw up, rak is always proud of his turtles, endorsi and hatz literally want to throw up all the time and would die before admitting that they secretly approve of khunbam

Khun is all around a model bf that i am sure half the fandom would be willing to date but im sorry guys khun’s taken cause he’s only got eyes for bam~

Plot things/idk what they’re called:

CEO!khun and intern!bam

Assassin!khun and assassin!bam who eventually get together and destroy the corrupt system

Gdi i thought of so many while having dinner but i forgot

Hmmmm

Imagine bam as jue viole grace like forced to work in a gang or smth and then khun as the gang boss 

I totally dont have a thing for badass assassin themed things pls dont judge me

Teacher!khun and student!bam (ofc it’d be near graduation if u get my drift...😏)

Idk why i thought of this but imagine idol khun o.o wait YO idol khun + assistant bam

Tutor!khun and student!bam 

I feel like im literally just saying the same ideas

Theres a reason why im not a fic writer :’)

High school sweethearts -> angst bc parents dont approve, sad forced breakup, no contact -> get back together when older after a time-lapse when they’re more mature, heated reunion 

Best friends bam and khun since preschool, since they were in the womb, PINING, both of them scared to admit it cause they dont want to ruin their friendship, meanwhile the entire gang is betting on them getting together (aka mainly rak and shibisu betting, hatz, endorsi, anaak, (insert s2 and s3 gang dont wanna spoil) everybody etc)

Uni students with khun as a law major and bam as a cs major (both geniuses, nerd bam), roommates *insert smirk* lots of pining, blushes from them casually changing in front of each other...the rest is up to ur imagination

Khun and bam as rival sports teams coaches 

Age gap!khunbam (not a lot, somewhere between 5-8 yrs), with bam as the younger one who kept saying that he loves khun but khun just laughs it off bc bams a kid but then khun sees bam after he comes back from college and bam gets a massive glowup from clueless cinnamon roll to clueless cinnamon roll hottie who only has the hots for khun (still) and then khuns all like “fuck” *dies inside*

Single dad khun, bam as a daycare employee who keeps getting flustered by khun, khun takes interest in bam bc he doesn’t ask nosy questions like other ppl, and bam has these mesmerizing golden eyes

Tailor/dry cleaner owner!bam and office worker!khun who constantly needs his clothes to be altered so they fit exactly how he wants them to (this eventually results in awkward moments and blushing), and also dry cleans like his countless number of suits and dress shirts and whatnot

Author!khun and publishing assistant!bam (is it even called publishing assistant honestly i have no idea but u get what i mean right), khun never signs books but bam convinces him to 

Poet!khun and uni student!bam as a literature major who’s a big fan and wanted to meet khun at one of his signings but is too shy even though shibisu drags him there, accidentally bumps into khun in the bathroom, is all flustered, ends up talking to khun for super long, khun loves bam’s enthusiasm for the subject, offers to give feedback on bam’s poems, bam is literally about to combust, they have lots of meetings and khun flirts with bam who’s clueless but blushes a lot anyway, they kiss *ahem* the rest is history

Spy!khun and bam, khun realizing he doesn’t want to hurt bam, sends fake info back to his country (ruled by eduan and jahad), eduan finds out (sent khun out in the first place bc khun was a threat to him cause the ppl liked khun better), sends out an assassin to get khun, who knows this and escapes with bam somewhere, some complicated plot taht idk how to figure out but you get the drift, eventually khun rules the country with bam

Real estate agent khun and contractor bam, eventually start their own business together

Khun as student pres, also known as the ice king bc he’s turned down dating everyone who asked, bam as the transfer student who catches his attention  (bam with more of a jue viole grace complex), the silent physics genius who is also on par with khun when debating in speech and debate club 

Khun and bam as besties, always do their hw together and hang out after class (cause bam always needs help haha), something leads to them fake dating, eventually real dating 😏

Khun and bam as besties, always do their hw together and hang out after class (cause bam always needs help haha), someone (rachel, DO NOT KILL ME I HAVE A REASON) asks bam out and he doesn't know how to say no (the rest of the gang egging him to date cause they know khuns gonna be jelly) khun goes and sulks, eventually bam gets hurt and manipulated by her, khun is pissed off, rachel is reported for abuse, khun and the gang fight for bam, khun is there for bam all the time, after a while bam asks khun out of the blue if khun likes him (shibisu let it slip that khun is gay bc god knows bam is oblivious af), khun is shocked but says yes bc he cant hide it anymore, bam says he always loved khun but thought khun was straight (bc of some dumb rumor someone said) which was why he ignored his feelings and agreed to date rachel bc he just wanted to distract himself, lots of cuddling thereafter, they get together, rak wins the bet for when khunbam will get together, khunbam gets married

oh man that became way longer than i expected...anon i hope u enjoyed that? half of it prob made 0 sense ngl and idek if i answered the q properly?

kudos to you if you actually read like all my rambling :’)

#bluris answers asks #1800ishipit answers asks #khun headcanons #khun the modern bf #i always write way too much oops #idk what im doing #if you really read till here bless ur heart #headcanons #plot things

[fuckthisblog]

I need to spend more time on tumblr I forgot how calming this was.

I haven’t blogged since April it looks like so fuck...uuhhhh i used to make mini timelines on here and idek how to sum it all up but imma give it a shot for future me cause i always like to come back and read these - gonna go back in time a little to get the full covid picture but it ends with talking about the woods walk that lead to this video which brings me SO MUCH JOY

march 12th ~ last day i was at clinicals before it cancelled april 1st - online class stuff officially starts happening it probably happened before this but this is when i made a record of it. started anatomy review n shit for big ass exam april 5th - judging by my writing.. depression kicks in hard but also studying WAYYY too much every damn day april 14th ~ big deal first job interview april 17th ~ did the breakup thing, think that was the last time i wrote on here april 29th - found out big ass certification test on may 20th is scheduled for TBD ~ also found out i  got the job but awsjhcfksdjhk now certifcation is postponed for got knows when may 1st - journal says “i got to see syd and i feel better”, dont think i realized how hard the breakup feels were hittin me cause i remember casually hanging out n then suddenly crying may 13th - slept through last day of my fucking class like a goddamn depressed dummy may 18 n 19 n 20 - miss kitty to the er, and then to her nuero appointment and they think brain tumor but cant afford MRI but prednisone instantly makes her better. all the scared feels of losing her and class being done and no certification exam in sight and just general awful nothingness floating through the void (still studying way too much everyday day) seems like i saw kirk like every other weekend idk how to feel about that im the worst w clean breakups may 21st ~ technically ive graduated but it feels like nothing. also idk if he did it this day or the next but kirk dropped off flowers and a card and a you did it! smiley face thing with a grad cap on that yells YOU DID IT whenever u touch it lol may 26th ~ study sesh w shawna n jordan i know i did other study seshs w them too but idk when, and then home and parents had signs made on the lawn to congratulate me graduating, and then sydney got dropped off and we headed to rhode island may 28th ~ very interesting/bad/idk wtf mushroom trip. adderall was still in my system and i dont think my body liked that mix and then i took xanax to try to calm down but theyre not pharm approved xanax so i just lost some time but syd took awesome care of me and we laughed about this weird juicy couture dress idk even though it was bad it was great cause i was with her. i do remember petting miss kitty and she had like overlapping colored outlines and looked very ethereal and it kept me calm while syd was outside. before the trip was great too i went to ocean state job lot and syd and i made a bonfire and ate donuts n delicious coffee milkshakes honestly it was all great slept entire day after bad trip but then wokeup and immediately started studying again lmao june 1st - called the people to try to get my test scheduled but that was a no go june 4th - letter arrives can actually schedule test - schedule for 16th STUDY STUDY DIE DIE DIE STUDY DIE STUDY DIE SHdkjceshkfchsdjc june 16th - FUCKIN PASSED MY TEST june 30th - mask fitting n stuff july 1st - good hangs w syd im lucky to have her july 5th - go to the fells for the first time in FUCKIN FOREVER cause syd and lucas were going n invited me and im so happy they did swimming felt so good omg july 7th - first day o work july 10th - officially scrubbed in again, feels good, but exhausting july 21st - all nighter where connor tells me he never loved me but in the context of an actually really good heart to heart session (which weve been having a bunch of latelyp) im upset but also not at all, work is exhausting but ive started taking my antidepressants again (literally that morning lol) and i go for a woods walk n swim after, and a deer follows me in the forest and its magical and life is good july 22nd - fuckin slept through work and thats never happened so been pushin myself a bit too hard july 25th - yesterday, worked saturday w j so we’re the only tchs there and did 2 lap apps and a hemiarthroplasty and it was good but also a little discouraging idk if this career is for me

and that about brings it up to today. talking to kirk less which is good for both of us. connor and i having lots of heart to hearts n genuine friendship chats. glad thats come full circle. lucky to have syd in my life. just generally idk that bears repeating haha i love her and writing this is realized how many times i wanted to write “and then syd made everything better” - she was the first person i called after i passed my test and she started screaming for me cause she knows me and knows my past and how hard ive worked and idk just a lotta love there. im lucky. word end of things idk wtf is going on but does anybody really? hahahaha. this career is not for me and i know it deep down but ill finish orientation before i do anything. but as of right now even though lifes good it kinda feels bad cause almost everyday im sweating and shaking and in so much fucking pain for a 10 hour shift and then i come home and collapse. antidepressants are helping though. i havent been on them for the entirety of my program/job so i thought that the job just came w this sort of exhaustion. but now im remembering theres after work tired and then theres depression tired.

#personal #video #deer #woodswalk

[notedchampagne]

so referring back to my “karkats songs that he plays as he gets over another breakup one week after he thought they were the One” playlist heres a little davekat college au i made with unda:

dave gets into college and is assigned roommates with karkat and is still getting to know him and is lowkey taken aback the first few months rooming with him because karkat just keeps dating like. so many people and breaking up with them and hes like “wait what what happened to that other girl you had a crush on?” “shes dead to me. were still friends but shes dead to me” “but like? dude i thought you said she was your one true love” “no not anymore now its THIS guy and my life is over! were so distanced but i know hes the one!” and kanaya just has to clue dave in that karkat is Kinda Like That

eventually kanaya and dave are like ah here tf we go again lets preorder the ice cream and be ready to emotionally support him if it works out and emotionally support him if it doesnt (again) and this just becomes a lowkey routine that helps them be close and bond until dave finds himself falling in love with karkat and every time karkat goes to dave with his shoulders hunched in and daves already there, with a tub of ice cream and a judge judy marathon and then when karkat just hugs him again after he gets over another crush dave is like oh no oh shitohshitohshit

“i dont want to be another one of karkats one week date-breakups kanaya what do i do i cant lose my friendship with him in this way” and here we go for much aplenty dave pining

and eventually karkat gets a crush on dave and hes like oh. oh NO i cant be me and have our friendship ruined just because of myself and my potential for failed relationships so he just doesnt say anything and instead complains about how noone loves him like 

dave: broken hearted again? karkat: no, I don't... karkat: SIGH. I'm doomed. I'm going to die alone in my apartment with my cat dave: you don't have a cat karkat: i need to get a cat so it can eat my face when I die. dave: karkat, I'll be here for you karkat: ...you're not allowed to eat my face off when i die  dave: are you implying im your cat karkat: you knocked a glass off the table to catch my attention yesterday. what else could you be? (his boyfriend) dave: so like. are you saying im not allowed to eat face with you or

anyway so karkats still sad and mourning his love life while hes out for lunch with kanaya and rose and rose is like what about a blind date? surely one of our friends knows you well enough to set you up with someone they know to have good chemistry with you

and karkats like okay that. doesnt sound bad lalonde congratulations on thinking of something reasonable and within bounds for once but who in the fuck would willingly set me up for a blind date? and then kanaya jumps in like oh well what about dave? hes been the closest person by your side and was with you throughout every relationship much to the point where you practically complete each other. who dont you ask your second half roommate to set you up karkat. why dont you. and karkat having trouble detecting kans attempt at sarcasm is like okay i guess, and rose immediately texts dave hey dave guess what youre setting karkat up on a blind date and daves like WHAT

cue for the next six days when daves all like “yeah haha blind date dw ill get someone whos not creepy or whatever” to karkat and emotionally gargling inside his roomand then for the blind date karkats waiting at the resto and dave grade a PANICS because he hasnt found someone yet and because there isnt anyone else and its him who wants to go on a date with karkat so he dresses up buys a bouquet of roses and Goes

and karkats waiting and wondering if he should just assume hes stood up in five more minutes but then he sees a familiar head of curly blond hair and theres dave looking like hes about to skedaddle if karkat so much breathes and he offers a bouquet of roses and is like okay i lied i didnt pick up a blind date w you because id only feel like i was backstabbing myself so much julius caesar got jealous and i guess i am. kinda jealous i mean but not much but i lowkey highkey have some fucking feelings that i wanna say and i know your relationships have uhh. [karkat looks at dave. say it] not perfect track record but id really like to take you out even just once and even if it doesnt work out im still gonna be your best bro and were already decked out in suits and shit sohowaboutit

and karkat gets this fuckin revelation of how much daves just been there and how much of an idiot he is and hes like yeah id love to go on a date with youand then ofc they hit it off and everyones pleasantly surprised when they make it past one month and then theyre in looooooove

#homestuck #davekat #like 80% credit to unda for this one their ideas are so good #prompts #aimless articulation #theres like some extra bonus screenshots if yall wanna see them too theres an alt ending and bonus everything i just have to get back to hw

[modernlcve]

*  —  stats —   casey porter !

* — basics !

full name:   casey clayton porter. nickname(s):   just casey :)    age:   twenty - six. date of birth:   june seventeenth. place of birth:   zebulon,  north carolina. gender:   demiboy. pronouns:   he / they. sexual orientation:   gay. level of education:   high school graduate. recipient of a degree in performance and culture.

* — physical !

tattoos:  a traditional style catfish on their right forearm, ”turn and face the strange” in a simple font on their collarbone. two flash tattoos on their right thigh, a fox and a strawberry. piercings:  septum pierced.   an eyebrow piercing they no longer wear. notable features:   im too horny for avan jogia to answer this im sorry. weakness(es):   melancholy. scar(s):  none notable.

* — domestic !

occupation:   odd jobs.   gigs with the band,   drives for uber,   gives piano lessons. residence:   an apartment in delphinus heights, lives with roommates. social class:   middle class. parents:   dale porter,  age 56,  old school but tries his best to Get casey’s whole deal because he cares.   nancy porter,  age 52,   wants to be hip and tries to come out to as many  shows as she can. siblings:   cassidy porter,   age 20,  younger sister.   they keep in touch well,   frequent phone calls and such. extended family:   grandparents,  a couple aunts and uncles, the works.   they’re not exceptionally close to any of them because they’re Less Willing to try and get casey.

* — personality !

positive traits:   solicitous,   expressive,   upbeat. negative traits:   oversensitive,   thoughtless,    pretentious. myers-briggs ( x ):   infp,   the mediator. temperament:  phlegmatic. moral alignment:   neutral good. horoscope:  gemini,   the twins. hogwarts house:  hufflepuff.

* — favorites !

movie:   cabaret. tv show:   parks and recreation. book:   absalom,   absalom! drink:   sweet tea. food:   strawberries. animal:   fox. color:   light purple. song:   im not strong enough to pick, artist:   again they just love music sm, celebrity crush:   michael stipe circa 1985.

* — impressions !

first impression:   idk they’re chill.   i feel like they don’t make a super strong first impression,   they’re the kind of person that grows on you after a few conversations. self impression:   changes with the Wind they’re a gemini sometimes they’re a beautiful artist others they’re a gremlin fraud. u can never tell what ur gonna get, lover impression:   perhaps a little smothering.   they care, a lot,   and they love Feeling things and getting to Embrace said feelings in a way that could be overwhleming.

* — et cetera !

turn ons:   casey is sapiosexual. turn offs:   judgemental is a big no go. drink/drugs/smoke:   yes/weed/no. dominant hand:   left. clean or messy:   messy. early bird or night owl:   early bird. hobbies or special talents:   plays guitar and piano.   can technically dance.

* — QUESTIONNAIRE !

01. where was your character born? what brought them to carina bay? what do they like most about the town?

casey was born in charlotte,   but moved almost immediately with their adoptive parents to zebulon.   they came to carina for school and stuck around because they just Vibed with it better than they did their hometown.   they like the people,  and the social Scene that lets them really let their hair down,

02. who are your character’s friends and family? who do they surround themselves with? who are the people your character is closest to?

their family is dispersed across the state of north carolina.   asides from their parents and their sister,   their relationship with their family is strained,   because they’re the Bad kind of southern where ur mean 2 people for no reason.   so,   they surround themselves with people who are accepting and open-minded to make up for it.   they’re closest to their band-mates,  the people they spend so much of their time with.

03. what is your character’s biggest fear? who have they told this to? who would they never tell this to? why?

their biggest fear is their music becoming work.   music has always been and outlet and escape for casey,   and as the band becomes more serious and looks for ways to gain traction,   they’re worried a day will come that it will feel like less of a passion and dream job and more of a chore,   a stressor in their life.   they wouldn’t mention this to the band,   because he knows some members have more riding on potential success than others,   but they probably word vomited something about it to finley at some point or another.

04. has your character ever been in love? had a broken heart?

i think the only person casey has been Genuinely In Love with is finley.   they’ve loved a lot of people,   but you know there’s a Difference and what not.   by extension,   that breakup did break their heart a little,   especially since it was on the basis that they were More Invested in taking the next step with things,   it was a rejection that stung.

05. your character is doing intense spring cleaning. what is easy for them to throw out? what is difficult for them to part with? why?

in general,   they live minimally,  and don’t have a hard time getting rid of things because they’re just Things.   but they do have a collection of hats from places they’ve visited and for special events they’ve gone to and they would rather Die than whittle those down even if they only wear the same 3 ballcaps.

06. it’s saturday at noon. what is your character doing? give details.

giving piano lessons,  probably.   they’re an early riser,   and spend most of saturday morning on their personal tasks for the day,   and devote much of the mid-day and afternoon to whatever Hustle they’re currently on,  leaving nights open for gigging or just hanging out with the gang.

07. what is one strong memory that has stuck with your character since childhood?

they vividly remember wading in the water behind their grandparents house with their cousins and sister at some kind of family reunion.   because they went through a Big Rebel Phase that transitioned into a Big Gay Revelation,   they don’t have a lot of memory of feeling like they were A Part of the family at large and sometimes yeah they miss when they were a kid and they had that.

08. what is in your character’s refrigerator right now? on their bedroom floor? their nightstand? in their wastebasket?

frankly i’m about to start removing this question i think i simply don’t have anything interesting to say in the FRIDGE theres FOOD on the FLOOR theres LAUNDRY in the NIGHTSTAND theres JUNK need i say more

09. what is something that upsets your character? where do they go when they’re upset? on the opposite end, what is something that makes them laugh out loud? where or when are they at their happiest?

casey takes things other people say more to heart than they probably should.   they read into things and find rudeness where perhaps there isn’t and it’s probably what leads to most of their Episodes.   when they’re upset,   they like to go out to the beach by themselves with their headphones and just Lay There a little.   this is another one i could probably shorten for a lot of my muses because.   they laugh when things are funny and they’re happy when they’re with their friends :pensive:

10. when your character thinks of their childhood kitchen, what smell do they associate with it? why?

their mom used to light this apple pie scented candle 24/7 so more than any food stuff that was prepared in the kitchen,   they remember the scent and the crackling wick of the candle in the window.

#( casey porter. ) #( stats. )

[elcapitana]

Just finished watching TBT latest ep and i just wanna say that

Kadena will LIVE

AMEN

No but seriously. That last scene where sutton ask kat if the situation with adena is alright i feel like the reaction wasnt all negative. Its more like, 'we didnt breakup but we didnt exactly went back to all sunshines and rainbows' Theres awkwardness and uncertainty but thats because kat's misdemeanor probably still so fresh for adena. I feel like maybe theyre having a break (fucK i hate that word) but yes , but like a mini break. Like no sex for kadena. Since adena's probably gonna suggest kat to think this through whether she wanted to explore her sexuality more and put their relationship on hold or fully commit but taking the pace of the relationship at a much slower speed.

But but i just ... Sighh. My horny self probably gonna die of thirst if kadena doesnt have any physical intimacy in the coming episodes. But i get it ya know. Or maybe kat could be having like one of those 'i caNT be awaY from Adenaaaaaa' and BAnG sex on the wall kind of thing happen. I'd appreciate that too. Thankyouverymuch

But seriously though, this is soo not a bait. And my faith in kadena actually doesnt move much. Still good. Whats a relationship without a few bumps on the road ey.

Also, drunk Sutton is the shit. I love that woman. And JaNe rock this ep too! And im happpyyy that trio is back together.

Also alsoo, when Jaquelin said "i miss you too" to jane with that voice it kinda makes me ship them. Or that just me being a thirsty hoe. But all TBT cast are just foinnnnee and.. yeahh...

Cant wait for next ep

And Yall theories bout kadena just spice up my life and also teared my goddamn black heart. I love that shit

Good job

Ps: nikohl and aisha should win like best couple representation in tv or some shit coz the two got chemistry for centuries. And the acting is sooo underrated like wtf is hollywood doin hiding all these precious gems.

#kadena #adena el amin #kat edison #the bold type #tbt #the domino effect #also ben is cute af #i think hes the best dude for jane #and for me too #ngehehehe #jane sloan #sutton brady #review #im like 3 days too late