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creedslove · 5 months

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WHO KNEW? 💍💔 - PART THREE

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

"You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around (...)

I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me (...)

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong

I know better, 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"

Summary: you and Joel try to handle what happens after you both slept together and a revelation brings the truth about the nature of your relationship with Joel

• This is the third part of the small series: Who Knew? 💍💔 (PART ONE | PART TWO) which was also inspired by this amazing HEADCANON request

Warnings: angst, broken hearts, mentions of divorce, mentions of infidelity, fluff, age gap (Joel is four to five years older than reader and the time skip is 12 to 14 years (Sarah's age) but feel free to imagine whatever you want), smut, oral sex (f! receiving/m!receiving) piv, dirty talking, discussions of relationships

A/N: alright besties, I really don't know where this chapter came from, I had sworn I wouldn't write continuations of this story, but here I am, with a serious case of Joel Miller brain rot and all I could think of was him! I love this story with all my heart and I don't know if this chapter is consistent or not, as it was written through several days and I poured my feelings into it, but days change and so do feelings so hehehe, also, I may or may not have been a little too horny for Joel xD, anyway, I hope you beautiful besties like the story ❤️

12.3k words

Waking up by Joel's side was something you could've sworn it would never happen, it would only become a distant memory as the years advanced after the divorce; you thought maybe you would think about it every so often, when nostalgia got the best of you, if you felt lonely at times or maybe even the moments you would spend next to your ideal future husband, a man worthy of you and your love, someone who would actually treat you exactly how you deserved it, who wouldn't run away with the first willing whore he could find and build a life with her, the life that used to be yours, and was supposed to. No, that ideal husband would never steal from you, not your happiness, your beauty or your youth, as much as you closed your eyes and tried picturing this ideal, ethereal man, you were haunted by your ex-husband. It was his smile that came to your mind when you thought of this bittersweet fantasy; his hands that gripped your body, it was him. You realized your deepest wish was to have Joel as that husband; in an alternative universe where he wasn't a jerk, instead, he would be the perfect, sweet and hard-working husband, just like he used to in the beginning, and you both would love and support each other, building up a life, a family and a home together. That was how things were supposed to go, but everyone knew the end of that story.

What nobody except you and Joel knew, was the plot-twisted epilogue of your story with Joel. Very often, you thought of your relationship as a closed book, a shitty, depressing romance novel that had its indignant ending written and done, with no space to fix things up… until your return to Austin and things simply started to happen. You refused to believe it was a new chapter or a new beginning, quite the opposite, as much as your rational said had begged and screamed not to do it, not to get close to Joel and you simply went there and did it, now it begged you to put an end to it, your mind told you the night you'd spent together was just scratching that maddening itch and nothing more. It would be easy to pretend nothing had happened: Tommy had left shortly after the cops arrived at your place and headed to his girlfriend's, according to Joel. Sarah was absolutely clueless and had no idea what was going on, especially after both you and her dad had put an end to her efforts of setting you both up. All you had to do was to convince Joel of the same: it was a mistake, it shouldn't happen again.

But then, at the same time, why was it so good to wake up next to him? In fact, next to him was an understatement, as you were all over him. Safely tucked into his arms during the night, you had switched positions several times like you often did when you slept, but Joel always kept you at arms length, refusing to let go of you no matter what. It shouldn't feel this good, but it did, and even when morning came and it was time to get up, you pretended you didn't really have to. It was your secret, no one would know nor judge you if you stayed a little longer in his bed, what was the worst that could happen, after all? So the moment you felt Joel stirring right behind you, your eyes closed shut and you relaxed your body as best as you could so he would think you were asleep. It was quite stupid, you were aware, but suddenly you felt shy to be awake in his presence?! It was odd, but you didn't know how to act exactly… were you supposed to kiss? Act as a continuation of the night before or straight up pretend nothing happened? Should you begin ‘the talk' with Joel?! You didn't even know what you were going to say, so instead, pretending to be dead, well actually, asleep, was definitely a better plan. Joel hadn't changed in all those years, you recognized and anticipated every single move he would make; it started by his soft groans the moment he fully woke up, the hesitation he probably felt the moment he eyed you there and quickly the memories of the night before filled him entirely. His morning erection was hard pressed against your ass and that was another difficult part of the equation taking place in your mind at that moment; all it would take you was wiggling your ass a little and you both could start your day in a very fun way. It was tempting, and while you baffled yourself whether to do it or not, you felt Joel again. The way he gently placed his hand on your arm, caressing it up and down, almost in a ghostly touch, a bit afraid of scaring you away; to Joel, you were like a beautiful, delicate butterfly flying into his life, making things prettier for him, but also so easily scared off. He couldn't afford to have you fly away from him once more, not that time. His hand went to your naked stomach, stroking it softly, he enjoyed the butter-like feel of your skin under his hand. After all the cuts, bruises and dirt from hard work, it was a nice change to be able to touch you. He'd had his fair share of touching beautiful women, but none of them would ever compare to you. You were naked under his touch, entirely for himself, a dream that came true at that moment and yet it seemed way too good to be real. Hands that stroked your body leaving a trail of goosebumps over your sensitive skin, as he nuzzled your shoulder, taking some strands of hair away from your neck, he let his stubble beard scratch it softly, lips connecting to your skin, in gentle and silent pecks, ones that made you bite your lips not to moan too loud, even if the goosebumps insisted on appearing, hardening your nipples and sending a wave of lust down your core. Joel had his good ear to the mattress, not hearing if you were letting out small, sexy sounds but he could see the visible signs of his caress on you. He wanted more of it, he woke up with hunger, more like starvation and it was for you, your body, your touch, your presence. He wanted you, and he would have you, not only that morning, but forever, by his side.

“I know you're awake” Joel mumbled against your skin, you could feel his teeth nibbling you, making you squeal softly and moan at his touch, you turned around facing him and raised your eyebrow, heart melting at how adorable Joel's messy bed hair was, even if it was a little grayer now, it still made him look so handsome, you couldn't hold yourself back but caress his curls gently.

“How did you know I was awake?” You questioned him and felt his teeth scraping your collarbone instead of actually answering your question. It didn't take very long for Joel to straddle you, pinning you against the mattress as he took in all of you. You were beautiful, gorgeous, you were his. At least that was what he wanted to tell himself, but it didn't matter the future, not then, because at that very moment you belonged to him and only him. You lay under Joel, your breathing accelerating as you didn't know exactly what to do or what to expect, crashing your lips together, you tugged at his hair - you loved Joel's hair so much - and felt his rough hands running even more freely through your body. One knee on each side of you, preventing you from moving as he stared down at you, your body being the most beautiful piece of art he'd ever laid eyes on. Joel Miller was a man sinking deep further into his passions and he couldn't even hide it or pretend it otherwise. His mouth went for your neck, then down your collarbone, your breasts, so beautiful and tempting as they'd always been, time he'd been so kind to you, and now he appreciated it. He kissed your breasts gently at first, getting to your nipples, they were always so hard and sensitive and it was all for him. Lips wrapping around them, his tongue flicking then gently as you tugged even harder and pulled his curls gently. The way Joel made you feel was always something else, it was so stupid to try to fight that, at least while you were pinned down by his strong, sexy body. When he finally let go of your breasts, he kept moving his tortuous path south down you. His lips were dancing over your stomach, he loved that part of you and had lost track of how many times he'd daydreamed about your figure looking round while you carried his baby Miller inside. He enjoyed picturing it, another life coming out of you, a baby that would be half you and half him, that would bring Sarah the title of ‘big sister’ and seal the happy ending of your story in which you would become Mrs.Miller once more, for real and above all for the rest of your lives. Deep down he knew that wouldn't go further than a simple fantasy, something to lose himself in before falling asleep before bed every night, and yet, it always brought him such joy, comfort and affection within his body, and at that moment, when he was kissing your womb, his hands holding you legs spread as he took his time in kissing and nibbling your lower stomach, he closed his eyes and made that irrational wish, practically, that wouldn't do, not in real life, not with your history weighing heavily on the two of you, nor with your life styles that were so different from each other's. He worked too much, Sarah was already growing into a teenager, you were inexperienced at that matter at the same time he was getting older and was certain that having to watch a baby and later on a toddler would absolutely kill his back. But if it was so impractical, it should be so sweet at the same time. It would be a lot easier for him to keep those stupid thoughts out of his mind. When Joel got closer to your core, you wanted to tell him to stop, to remind him that you didn't use protection at all and you'd been missing up the pills, warn him there was maybe some probability of you both making that situation even more of a mess than it already was, but the words died out in your mouth, the moment Joel's eyes matched yours, the pool of brown warmth making your heart skip a beat at the same time he parted your legs, giving your inner thighs each a love bite, and your breathing accelerating once more in the anticipation of what was about to happen.

“Relax, baby girl” he purred against your skin, he was so close to your core you could feel his breath fanning your sensitive area, his hands gripping the outside of your legs in a way it was clear he was claiming his power over you. You were about to be devoured by a hungry man and at that, your heart raced like no other, just as Joel reached you.

His lips ghosted over your slit, loving how shaky and sensitive you were at that moment, head shoved between your legs he took his hands into action, using them to spread your lips wide and groaned in approval of how sexy that view was. Ever since you married Joel, being intimate with your husband was something normal and natural, expected even, and whereas you weren't a prude by any means, the way Joel touched you or how filthy that mouth could be always made you go red from head to toes, especially when he simply stopped at stared at your body like that.

“Fuck baby, you still got the same pretty pussy I remember, it's the best one I've ever seen, you taste so fucking good, this sweet clit of yours had always made my mouth water” he teased as you could barely hear his voice through the adrenaline making all that blood pumped so loud into your ear. He spread your pussy lips open, his cock was already twitching to see your cunt twitching for him. The way your clit twitched in anticipation and your hole clenched at the air, how your wetness simply pooled in your entrance and it was all for Joel, because of Joel and he wasn't going to waste another minute before having you. You closed your eyes the moment he kissed your clit, kissing it as he would with your lips, all you could do was whimper and once more grip your hands into his hair pulling his head against your pussy, wanting more and more. At your touch, Joel stopped playing around, he simply sank his face into you, devouring you, licking, suckling and flicking your sensitive clit, lapping at your juices so hungrily, like a madman having his favorite meal. Joel's hands were large and his fingers were thick, so the moment he inserted two digits inside, you were already filled with him, the way he ate your pussy and fingered you, the knot forming down your lower belly, you barely had time to warn him, but it wasn't necessary, Joel knew your body well enough to know you were cumming, getting so nice and ready for him he continued, until you exploded into an intense and long orgasm, in which he tried to make it last for you as much as he could.

After your bliss, it didn't take very long for him to slip inside, now that you were all wet and stretched for him, you wrapped your legs around his waist and closed your eyes in pleasure. Your nails scratching down his broad back, his skin warm and sweaty on top of you. You wanted more of him, at that moment that was you favorite place in the world, primal, obscene, his grunts into your ear as he fucked you like he would any whore. At that moment you couldn't hold back your desires, your lustful thoughts took the best of you. If Joel asked you to be his personal cum dumpster, you would say yes. And at that realization, he came inside, once more, just like he did the night before and you loved it.

Suddenly the exhaustion took over you, your body and your thoughts and it seemed like an impossible task to keep your eyes open.

“Sleep, baby girl, relax” Joel whispered against your ear once more, pulling you closer, the two of you appreciating the lovely bliss you shared after your orgasms. It felt right, even if it shouldn't.

•••

When Joel woke up that morning for the second time with you tangled in his arms, he smiled at himself, wondering how lucky a motherfucker like himself could actually be. The past hours replayed in his mind, over and over, and he still didn't believe they were true, simply because they were too good to be true in the first place, still the reminders of how true it all had been were there: the pink fading lines you left all over his skin were still apparent, your clothes scattered around the bedroom floor, the way your hair invaded his pillow and now you smell lingered all over his bedsheets. It was real, and he couldn't be happier. Watching as you exhaustively slept, he dragged himself out of bed, not really wanting to leave but knowing he needed to start his day somehow. So he just planted a soft kiss on your forehead and headed to shower before going downstairs, as he needed to get breakfast ready for his girl.

You on the other hand, slept without even noticing you, being so exhausted after another steamy session with Joel; when you woke up nearly an hour later, you felt his side of the bed empty and for a split second you sighed disappointed at the impression it'd been just a dream, which only lasted until you could feel that bittersweet soreness between your legs, the mess Joel's room was in and how sticky you were with sweat and some of your juices mixed up together. You bit your lips and giggled, you thought you'd wake up full of regret, feeling guilty and upset about what happened, but turns out you felt great, perhaps, all you needed to decrease that upsetting feeling of melancholy you often grew inside was a good fuck provided by the best man you'd ever tried.

You yawned big and stretched, getting up and feeling that familiar sting between your legs, a reminder of Joel's virility and size. As you weren't sure what to do or where Joel could be, or even worse: if Sarah was home at all, you decided to be as silent as possible, your wish was just getting dressed and going downstairs, but the moment you saw your reflection in the mirror you knew you had to shower. It didn't take too long to find Joel's bathroom, you got yourself under the shower stream, groaning at how your muscles relaxed under it, the way the knots on your hair seemed to undo themselves. You chuckled while soaping your body in Joel's soap, shampooing your hair with his shampoo, smelling entirely like him, as if he'd marked you like an animal would. Perhaps you shouldn't enjoy this obscene thought as much as you did, but at that point that ship had sailed and you couldn't care less about it. Stepping outside the shower, you dried yourself and went through Joel's drawers just enough to find something comfortable to wear - one of his boxers and an old shirt.

“Joel?!” You called him at the top of the stairs, hoping you two were still alone there, as you really didn't want to risk being seen in those - lack of - clothes by Tommy or god forbid, Sarah.

“In here” Joel replied, his voice coming from the kitchen and as soon as you got downstairs you were hit by the delicious smell of coffee, and just as your stomach growled in hunger you realized you couldn't even remember your last meal.

You followed the delicious smell and smiled when you saw him flipping a bunch of pancakes, frowning softly at the image, it was so odd to see Joel being so domestic, cooking breakfast when in reality, you were the one who usually got to do all the cooking and chores, not to mention the choice of menu for the breakfast.

“You don't like pancakes!” you said surprised as you approached the stove to confirm if you weren't seeing things, being surprised by the way Joel wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer, greeting you with a peck on the lips, which you didn't expect but you couldn't complain either.

“I don't, but you do, and you deserve it, baby girl” he stroked your sides as he kept flipping pancakes with his free hand like a damn pro. You could only imagine how many times he had to step in and make his daughter pancakes until he got that skilled at that. You looked at him and as if he'd read your mind, he pecked your forehead this time

“Sarah is at her friend's which means she's only coming in the afternoon, you can hang out, maybe we can grab lunch together and then I'll drive you home, fix your door and all..” he said and stared lovingly at you “if you wanna go, otherwise you can stay here” he winked and made you chuckle.

“Joel, about us, about what happened-”

“Don't do that now, darling, let's not upset ourselves, let's have breakfast together and we can talk about it later”

You could tell Joel was postponing the subject, it was simply inevitable to talk about your future together or lack of it, due to your history, what happened between the two of you should be addressed, and even if you had been as willing as he was, it was a fact you weren't so easy to convince that perhaps being together was a good idea. However, he was also right: you could discuss things later, because at that moment you just wanted to have breakfast with Joel; damage had already been done, so what if you two continued to act the way you were? If anything, if you two parted ways, you would simply still have a nice time to cherish, to balance the ups and downs of your relationship together.

You two walked to the table, Joel placed the pancakes down and got comfortable on the chair, taken by surprise as you simply sat on his lap, instead of taking the seat next to him. You looked at him with a grin and stole a peck from his lips

“What?! You said we should have breakfast first” you giggled and started eating, at the same time his arm wrapped around your frame and he pulled you even closer. You couldn't really complain about that breakfast, it was the best you've ever had in so long, and it had nothing to do with pancakes.

•••

During daylight it was possible to see the damage the thieves left in your home; not only did they steal valuable things, but they also left a trail of mess and dirt through the floors, making you feel so angry at the shit hole they'd left your house. As soon as you got off Joel's truck, you could see cleaning, fixing and buying things again would take a long time, and even if you had the best contractor around town next to you, you still had to do chores. He placed his hands on his waist, furrowing his brows while he scanned the room, thinking of what he should do. You quickly changed into more comfortable clothes, grabbing a mop and a bucket and began cleaning up everything you had to, you reminded Joel he could make himself at home and grab drinks or snacks, since it was the least you could do after he'd been so kind to help you - and fuck you raw morning and night.

Once you'd finished your chores and showered quickly to get rid of the sweat, you went downstairs, looking for Joel. He had fixed a few things here and there, things you hadn't even noticed, but the moment you walked down the stairs, he was fixing your door.

And you were not prepared for that sight, at all.

Not with how Joel's shirt was clinging tight to his body, damp with sweat, the way his jeans looked so good around his thighs and his butt, or how he flexed his biceps unconsciously while he forced the warped wood forwards, the soft grunt he let out and how his huge hand wiped the forehead off his forehead was enough to set your core on fire. You stood there, at the bottom of the stairs, gripping the handrail and wondering when you'd become that thirsty for a man. Even when you had relationships after your divorce, you couldn't remember being that easily turned on, but at that moment, a mere display of Joel's roughness was enough to pool your wetness on your panties. He was just so mainly, so strong, something primal and intense about that man's body, he was different from any man you'd met, and the years only added to it, you were so tired of fighting your urges and feelings. Yes, Joel had been the worst husband a woman could've asked for, but just because you wanted to crazily ride on his cock, it didn't mean you would have to marry him again, definitely not. Joel wasn't a good husband, but he was a damn fine lover.

“I didn't see you there” you jumped at Joel's voice, distracted by it as he snapped you out of your lustful thoughts, nodding at him and smiling nervously. He cleared his throat “I'm guessing you want to talk, don't you?” There was a slight hint of disappointment in his voice and you thought for a while

“Yeah, we need to talk, just… take a seat, I'll get you some water” you pointed at your couch and disappeared into the kitchen, finding Joel standing still when you returned with a fresh bottle of water for him. He hadn't moved, something inside of him telling him not to, some kind of superstition, that maybe if he sat down he would go back to the poor reality of his life, a life without you, your touch, your caress. As long as he stood up, he could always find something to do around your home and then spend a little longer by your side. He took the bottle with a nod in gratitude and took a big sip of it, at the same time it seemed you were watching an erotic movie just by the way your body reacted to the image of his neck, the way his veins pumped as he swallowed his water, showing his thirst, and to think just a few hours before he was eating your pussy with the same ferocity, made you press your thighs together. You needed that man, and you were going to have him, no matter what. To hell with needing to have a serious chat, to move on with your life and not forgetting the past, you needed him carnally. Joel finished his water and finally walked to your couch, taking a seat and spreading his legs, just like he often did to find a comfortable position. You hated when men did that, taking up space and being rude, but not Joel, the way he did it was hot, it reminded you of how big he was, his long legs, big, strong thighs, so perfect to ride, and his frowny face, you could tell he was worried, probably thinking you would just thank him for the help, tell him what happened between the two of you couldn't happen again and ask him to leave. Hiding the heartbreak under his mean face, little did he know that conversation would have to be postponed, because your mouth was about to be too busy to talk.

“You want to talk, right?” He asked, nervously running his hands through his jeans, watching as you took another step closer and nodded.

“Yeah, but we can't talk right now… I'd rather use my mouth for something else” you winked at him, falling onto his knees and began caressing his thighs over his rough jean, smirking at his surprised face, hands fiddling his pants as you opened his fly and bit your lips

“I need your cock now, Joel, I need you in my mouth”

He was taken aback by your sudden change of behavior, he'd sat down expecting to be told to leave, but now he had you on your knees begging for his cock and that was something he couldn't deny. His left hand gripped your hair, tilting your head up a little, while his right hand stroked your cheek gently, his thumb ghosted over your lips, tracing an invisible path on it as he nodded. Suddenly, roles were reversed: he wasn't waiting for you to stop and decide what he should do, instead, he was in charge and he was about to make you choke on his cock.

“So pretty, baby girl…” Joel's voice wasn't much more than a whisper “you want my cock, don't you? Just like a filthy little slut, you wanna choke on it? Want my cum down your pretty throat?”

All you could was nod at his filthy words, Joel's mouth could drive any woman inside without any physical touch, just his dirty choice of words was enough to cause a turmoil of feelings and increase the pool in your panties. He lifted his hips and pulled his pants down, freeing his cock, already hard and held it by the base, while you licked your lips. You could see his tip glistening and closing your eyes as Joel rubbed his tip against your lips, before you opened it and took his cock into your mouth. Joel threw his head back and groaned in pleasure, he could feel his balls quivering while both hands flew to your hair, gripping it as you bobbed your head up and down his shaft, your hand squeezing and stroking his cock up and down where you couldn't reach his length. You'd always loved Joel's groans, the way he sounded so voracious, you clenched your thighs together, trying to give your throbbing clit some sort of relief. He guided you through his blowjob, he hadn't gotten a good one like that in years; of course he'd had his affairs, nightstands and such, but no mouth in the world compared to yours at all. He praised you, reminded you were his favorite cock slut and he wouldn't have any other than you.

You could feel by the way he clenched in your mouth his release was close, he was about to unload and you wanted to swallow all of him. So you continued, even when Joel tried to lift your head gently and warn you, you didn't need any warnings, you simply continued blowing him until he was cumming into your mouth. He reached his orgasm with another grunt, at the same time you worked your magic and swallowed every single drop of him. The way his cock pulsed inside of your mouth, how his breathing got rapid, his chest raising up and down at a fast pace, it was the sexiest thing you'd ever seen. Joel Miller was a strong, manly man, and you loved it.

He finally rested his eyes on you, his hell and heaven on earth, and he just needed more of you, convinced that whatever he had of you just wasn't enough. He helped you up, then pulled you to his lap, making you squeak in surprise as you landed right on top of him. You rested your forehead against his, while he pressed your body closer, never wanting to let go. He pulled you for a kiss, your lips tasting like him, sent Joel another wave of lust and need; he kissed your neck, his hands fiddling with your clothes, getting rid of them as he wanted you bare for him, your body on his, naked; he wanted to take you inside your house, not just some dirty, rushed secret locked in his room, but instead, claim you in any room of your home, if you ever wanted to break with him and decide he shouldn't be part of your life any longer, then at least he would leave his mark knowing each time you walked into any room, you would think of him, reminded of the time Joel fucked you and emptied himself inside of your tight juicy cunt.

“Come on, darling, ride my cock” his rough voice commanded you at the exact time Joel's hand pulled your shorts and your panties down. He went for your ass, massaging it, squeezing your cheeks and slapping it a couple of times, seeing it wiggle softly

“You're so fucking hot, you know that, sugar? Only you can make my cock throb the way you do” he praised you. His fingers traveled to your cunt, caressing it for the second time that day, making you spread your legs as wide as you could over him. He stroked your clit, feeling your arousal pooled in your entrance, it was intoxicating to him, he needed you every single day for the rest of his life. He gripped your hips, helping you lift yourself up and as held his cock in place and sank down onto it.

“Just like that, gorgeous, take that cock baby girl” he praised you.

You spent the rest of your afternoon riding Joel on your couch, not giving a single shit if any of the neighbors could see it through the curtains or the mere fact Joel had given you the worst heartbreak of your life; you needed him as much as he needed you, and it seemed neither of you could let go.

•••

The following days went by exactly the same way they usually did: you either worked from home or you went to the office a few times a week, you went grocery shopping, led a quiet, normal life, received Sarah's visits almost daily with the exception you were also seeing her dad without her having any idea. In fact, no one apart from you and Joel knew what was going on, and neither of you had any intention of changing that. Being completely honest, you should have broken things up with Joel the morning after, but each time you decided to do so, you simply couldn't get it done, the mere thought of standing in front of Joel and asking him to stay away from you was devastating, even if you turned to your memories of the day you found out Joel was in love with Angela and didn't want to be with you any longer couldn't help you. Of course they were as painful as if they were fresh, but at the same time it also felt like it happened between two completely different people rather than you and Joel. It was so difficult to process that Joel and your current Joel were the same, because deep down your heart claimed they weren't; the Joel you were constantly hooking up with was a hardworking, a great father, he was caring, sweet, he was passionate and he treated you as if you were the best thing he'd ever seen in the whole world. He'd become a closed man to relationships due to the guilt he felt for treating you the way he did and the abandonment he suffered from Angela. As much as that sounded twisted, the fact you were both abandoned by people you loved, also brought you closer, especially because he got to know exactly how you felt, which increased his guilt. It was terrible, but he was aware he was probably going to carry that for the rest of his life; even if he watched you smile and laugh, or if you wrapped your arms around him, underneath the joy and excitement he felt within, there would always be a tad of guilt just like a bitter taste in his mouth, reminding him of his coward attitude and how much better than him you truly were. As you had told Joel while you still hadn't crossed the line of how far your relationship should go, the problem wasn't the fact he fell in love with Angela, that could've happened to anyone, even if the sting of rejection hurt, being tricked and lied to was way worse than that. Even if it was hard to recover from the pain - if you had even recovered at all, after all, more than a decade went by without you being able to have a commitment to anyone, unable to stay in a relationship for more than other a few months, - you could only imagine Joel's experience was even worse; not only his relationship with Angela ended, but she also cut her ties with her own baby daughter. The disappointment he felt to realize his daughter would have to grow up without her mom, the paralyzing fear of being on his own to raise a baby, must've been intense. And even if some people could actually laugh at how funny life can be and swear there was still some kind of divine justice lurking around and he was simply paying for everything he'd done to you, you couldn't find the amusement in that situation, it was so sad, you could only feel pity. It seemed to you the years had turned Joel into a silent companion of pain, and not so much into the villain you'd projected onto him.

And all that was only the rational side of the story, because if you left it all to your feelings and desires, you wouldn't be able to leave his bed. Perhaps you were both feeling an overloaded amount of everything you had repressed for each other over the years; being able to externalize it was addictive, at first it was thought to be an inch you both needed to scratch, but soon enough it became obvious it was way more than that, which caused you to fall into his arms whenever you tried to make things easier for the two of you and simply let this condemned relationship go.

As you closed your laptop and watched Sarah's brows furrowing at the paper in front of her, in a mixture of focused and cranky for not being able to solve another math problem easily, she reminded you of Joel and how he would get the same way and have the same expression whenever he got frustrated with something not going according planned. You gently placed your hand on top of hers and offered her a reassuring smile, Sarah had had her nails done by you earlier, proud to see how pretty the sparkly color got on contracts with her skin. She was such a beautiful girl and you enjoyed being able to help her discover that, by introducing simple things like that, which meant the world to her, since she didn't have a mom around, it was nice doing stuff like that with someone experienced who could give her advice on school, friends and boys. She really appreciated it and if it were for Sarah, she would find a way to set you up with her dad and become one small family.

“you should have a break, you've been stuck in this question for a long time, try again later” you advised her and even if she sighed in a gruff way, - again, so Joel Miller coded - she nodded, closing her notebook and checking up her nails discreetly, which brought a warmth into your heart.

“So…” you started, hoping you would sound convincing enough and not raise any kind of suspicions from her, after all, that girl was smart “...you told me your dad is coming to pick you up, right? When he does, invite him inside so you guys can have dinner with me” you suggested, even if you and Joel had already agreed on it. You hadn't been able to see each other in a few days let alone touch each other, which was actually what you both really wanted, so all the options you got were texting like a bunch of horny teenagers. Now, sending nudes to a guy was something you would strongly disagree several months ago, but now? Each time your phone buzzed, you rushed to it, in hopes to get yet another picture of Joel's big hand holding his cock by its base, so you could lock yourself in any room and pull down your bra and panties, exactly the way he liked it. So spending some time around Joel even if you both had to play it cool was better than nothing. Sarah agreed but still felt a little puzzled at your suggestion.

“Alright… but why? You're regretting saying no when I tried to set you up?” She chuckled and you rolled your eyes, hoping you weren't so obvious. You moved to the kitchen and invited her to come along, so she could help you with dinner. You opened the fridge and had your back to Sarah, while you picked the meat and the vegetables.

“No, it's just that your dad was so nice to me, he fixed my front door after the break in, it would be a nice way to repay” you said “why do you even say that?”

“I think dad has a girlfriend or something…” she shrugged and you stopped, looking at her and trying to control the shock over your face.

“Y-yeah? And how do you know it?”

“Well, dad's different now, he seems happier, more cheerful, he's very often texting on his phone…”

“And what do you think of that?”

“It's nice, I guess” Sarah licked her lips “dad deserves to be happy, he's been lonely for a long time, ever since my mom left…” she said “but uncle Tommy says dad was sad before that, apparently there was another girl before mom, it didn't work between them or dad made her go away, I don't know why, but uncle Tommy told me once that even when he was with my mom, he couldn't forget about her an-”

“What happened then?” Only after you said it you realized you interrupted Sarah and sounded a little crazy, she didn't understand why you were so into that story after all, but seeing how eager you were to hear the ending of it, she continued.

“Well, according to uncle Tommy dad never forgot that girl, but she was way out of his league by the time my mom had left, so my dad sort of gave up dating” she shrugged “then my dad got home and interrupted uncle Tommy when he was about to tell me the full story, and he never spoke about it since” she replied with a simple shrug and pointed at the meat you were about to roast

“Hey, that's my dad's favorite!” She said amused at the coincidence of menus which you knew damn well that wasn't a coincidence, but your treat to Joel. As you kept cooking with Sarah's help, you also thought about the story she'd told you, too many things happening at once: finding out Joel had never forgotten you while his daughter was sure he had a mysterious girlfriend, which of course, was also you.

During dinner, you tried your best to forget about all of that, the way Joel and Sarah fit so well in that scene, the three of you at the table, eating and sharing how your days had been seemed like a beautiful painting of a perfect little family. A portrait of what things could've been like, or should have been like, and you enjoyed it, you couldn't deny it at all. Your gaze met Joel's and you shared a smile, silently agreeing you were spending a family time; you wondered if some day that would actually happen and if you would indeed be a family with Joel, sometimes you thought you would like it, and sometimes you would brush it off as some momentary lapse. But when he reached for your hand under the table and held it, caressing your knuckles with his thumb, your heart raced one more time and you couldn't help but allow yourself to picture a life by his and Sarah's side.

When you were all finished, Joel gladly dismissed his daughter from having to help with the dishes and the moment you two noticed she was fairly entertained with the new books you'd bought, he stole a kiss from you. It was quick but sweet and as much as it left you all giggly and blushing, it wasn't enough. Your need for Joel was overpowering, it was addictive, and you needed to touch him. Nothing would happen between the two of you while Sarah stood just a few feet away, Joel would never risk being caught that way, he respected his daughter too much, but he would kill to have his hands all over your body. He thought of asking you on a escapade with him, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea, not with Sarah being a little suspicious of how friendly you were acting towards each other. He wondered if he could actually call you his girlfriend, if he could admit he was dating you, because that's what it felt like, but then, if you both came clean about the situation, it would get complicated, not only for him because of Sarah, but he was well aware you would be in a tricky situation with your family, since he knew for a fact your parents hated him, - with plenty reasons to do so - eventually, you would two would have to have the talk. Now, Joel didn't fear not being with you any longer, he knew that wouldn't happen, you were as attached to him as he was to you, but eventually, you would have to define that situation. He knew he could be cold and distant, but it was so damn hard for him to hide his passion, the way he leaned against the doorframe and watched as you carefully put the dishes away, looking every bit of sexy as you could be, not that young and naive little wife he kept at home before he screwed things up, but instead, the powerful, beautiful woman you grew to be.

Sarah was incredibly smart, but she was also naive at some level, which caused her to be oblivious to the fact you called Joel into the backyard at some point, asking him to check something up you wanted it fixed, only to pull him closer and kiss him deeply, gripping his body, wanting him to engulf you like he always did, your nails gently scratching down his back while his lips ravished yours.

“I want to spend the night with you so bad, baby girl” he whispered against your lips “you're so good to me, you treat Sarah like a princess, you cooked us my favorite meal, all I want is to show my gratitude by getting lost between these beautiful thighs” he teased and for a split second you felt like telling him to stay the night, to come clean and tell Sarah you were dating, dating as if you two were pretty much a decade younger and so eager to be in each other's arms, but it couldn't happen that way, not like that, and not at that moment. You nibbled his bottom lip a couple of times before letting go, your body tingled for him, aching for his touch and as he told you he would call Sarah to go home, you felt unannounced tears flooding your eyes for no reason. Why did things have to be so complicated, why Joel couldn't have been this good from the beginning? You could've lived more than a decade of happiness together, if it weren't for that.

As they said their goodbyes, you watched Joel's truck disappear from your eyesight, a pang in your chest insisting on saying it was your family leaving while you played too hard to get.

•••

You had never seen Sarah smile that wide as she did while you two walked around the mall; side by side, a bunch of bags in hands as you spent such a simple, and yet incredible quality time together. For her, it was like hanging out with the mom she never had, and you felt as if you were shopping around for the daughter you could never conceive. It didn't matter where you were going, which stores you were checking and not even exactly what you were buying, just the fact you were doing that together felt incredibly special. It all began when Sarah complained about not having what to wear to the Harry Styles concert in the upcoming week; after months of begging her dad and uncle Tommy, she was given a ticket to the presentation she'd been dreaming of watching, under the condition she wasn't going to drag her dad along. Joel was an amazing dad, and he would do almost about anything for her, but standing in line for hours and then having to watch that guy performing while an entire stadium of hysterical teenage girls would be screaming at the top of their lungs which would probably cause Joel to go deaf in his good ear was a hard pass, that he wouldn't do. In fact, he would. The moment she gave him her puppy eyes and asked him to take her, he would do it, even if he tried tricking himself, however, luck seemed to be standing by his side, as Tommy happened to start dating this chick who was also obsessed with that Harry guy and when she got herself and Tommy a ticket, Sarah was all set. And so was Joel, because without anyone knowing, he managed to get a free night with you. And in the blink of an eye, you and Joel seemed way more excited for the Harry Styles concert than Sarah.

So when she complained she didn't actually have anything nice to wear, you thought of doing that for her, it would be fun, a change of just staying inside reading books, you could spend some girl time together and while you were out with her, you could really watch Sarah, the way she behaved, how she talked and acted, it reminded you so much of Joel, you wondered if she'd taken anything from Angela at all, deep inside, you wish she didn't, even if it was a petty thing to do. The idea of Sarah being similar only to her dad was nothing but comforting and sweet to you, it was the easiest way to see the evolution he went through, unfortunately, he had to learn how to be a better person through the pain, but he had succeeded and that was what it really mattered. You didn't really care if you'd spent a lot on Sarah, you had the money after all, and she deserved it. She was happy, talking excitedly about several things, to the point she barely noticed when Joel walked towards the two of you. He had his jacket on, hair a little messy from the wind as he grinned shyly at the sight of you, his heart skipping a beat as it felt to him he was meeting his daughter and wife at the mall.

Sarah frowned, amused to see her dad, walking towards him, she hugged him, which surprised Joel a little, not expecting that gesture at that very moment.

“What are you doing here, dad?” She asked curiously as Joel greeted you by giving you a peck on the cheek, trying so hard not to seem he was practically drooling over you.

“Tommy needed to buy his girlfriend whatever and asked me for a ride, so while he disappeared into the crowd I was trying to find him” he explained and stared at you “you girls are having fun, I see?” He raised his eyebrow and Sarah eagerly nodded, lifting her bags a little and showing him everything you'd bought her. He was so thankful for everything you were doing for his daughter, especially because he was sure you did it out of kindness and the fact you care about her. You watched their interaction and bit your lips in anticipation, you felt a sudden urge to kiss Joel in front of everyone and walk around the mall holding hands with him, you had never discussed that before, but the thought of it made your heart race. Sarah exchanged a few words with her dad before her eyes went wide as she spotted one of her best friends a couple of stores ahead and smiled big

“Dad, can I go show Nat the things I got? Please?! I'll be right back!” She asked with her sweet eyes and Joel agreed, telling her you two would be around as he intended to keep you company. As you walked towards another store with Joel following you, Sarah soon got entertained with her friend in an ice cream booth nearby. You both chuckled at the scene and he quickly placed his hand on the small of your back.

“Is Tommy really shopping around for his girlfriend or were you just stalking us?” You teased Joel, entering the lingerie store, earning a gasp from him before he could actually answer your question.

“Don't even think about it, Miller, I'm here just to buy some sports bra to go to the gym and nothing more” you added but the mischievous look in his eyes was extremely well-known.

“That's a shame, because this one would look so good on you” he pointed at a lilac lacey pair of underwear, his mouth watering at how beautiful you would certainly get in it, and how stripping you out of all that lace would feel like unwrapping a Christmas gift. You frowned at him, reminding him you were just there to buy a couple of things and leave, in fact, you shouldn't have even let Joel get inside the store with you, it wouldn't be appropriate and how would he explain to Sarah what the hell he was doing there in the first place. Joel, on the other hand, was pretty much entertained by all the beautiful colors and shapes the tiny pieces of fabric came with; he could picture every inch of your body in them, trying to guess which ones would look better. He knew all of them would be just perfect, but he was a guy who was simply drawn to the traditional good old red lacey; it was gorgeous, and it would be a nice gift for the two of you. As he looked around to find you and show you what he'd decided to treat you to, you were nowhere to be seen; the sales clerk already busy with the new customers walking into the store, he decided to wander after you. He was thankful no one seemed to mind nor notice him there, too worried to be seen as a creep, but determined to find you nonetheless; as he got to the fitting room area, he quickly called your name.

“What now, Joel?!” You immediately replied from the one in the corner, slightly annoyed at the fact he'd followed you there, sometimes Joel was a little like a stray puppy, coming after you with those big sad brown eyes, and even if you wanted to shop for freaking sports bras on your own, you couldn't help but enjoy the fact he was just so needy of you.

When Joel opened the door and got inside, you even tried to argue and ask him what the heck he was doing there, but instead, he smirked, gripping your sides and kissing you as a way to keep you silent. You wanted to push him away and tell him to fuck off, but the rushing adrenaline you felt through your veins made you feel alive, and as always, Joel's touch set you on fire. He broke the kiss dragging his lips over to your neck and then your collarbone, his hands climbing up your sides and going to your breasts, squeezing them softly

“This sports bra ain't bad, but I'd say a work of art like your body should have more lace, or glitter or whatever shit you like” he said in a grunt and lowered your top, even against your protests that weren't much more than just some whimpers that couldn't convince you, let alone Joel. You could feel his beard scratching down your chest and going straight to your breasts, lips wrapping around your nipples as he suckled on it gently at first, flicking it with his tongue before moving to your other breast and working the same magic. Your heart raced to the point you could feel your blood rushing through your ears, the fact you both could be caught at any moment and kicked out of the store, or even worse: be arrested for public indecency, added a hint of fear to the traditional lust you had for Joel; that man would be the dead of you, that much you were sure of.

“We can't Joel…” you mumbled against his curls, his head on your chest as his fingers found their way down your belly, getting so close to your sweet spot, he was so needy of you, wanting all of you to the point it felt he would go crazy. His digits toyed with the hem of your panties, while you pulled his curls a little, making him groan.

“Sorry honey” you whispered and kissed this temple, which made him smile. Joel was about to finger you in a fitting room in the middle of a store and you were so sweet to him, it made his heart ache a little, at the realization he definitely didn't deserve you. He kissed you once more and nibbled your lower lips the moment his fingers reached your core, spreading your lips apart and finding your needy clit, already so hard and wet, just for him to enjoy. He wasn't going to tease you, you both didn't have time for it, so instead, he played with your wetness, before shoving his fingers inside of you, stretching you up the way you both knew and enjoyed it, he thumbed with your clit before focusing all his ministrations into your tight cunt, feeling your muscles squeezing and clenching around him. He'd kill to have his cock inside of you instead of his fingers, but that would have to wait. He felt your teeth on his shoulder, while your pussy gushed at the same time you came for him. He felt your body going limp, sustaining your weight with his free hand

“Taste yourself, princess” he whispered against your ear and held his fingers up, waiting for you to wrap your devilish lips around them and lick them clean. Joel felt the urge to take you right there and then, but he was a patient man and knew things would have to wait. He kissed your lips goodbye and exited the fitting room after making sure no one was around to see him.

The sales clerk was a little confused when she saw Joel walking towards the register with a blood red pair of lacey lingerie, she couldn't remember seeing him walk into the store and let alone hang around, but the work policy forced her to smile at him and be helpful, especially when he got his wallet out and extended his credit card.

“I'd like you to gift wrap this and give it to the beautiful lady who's trying sports bra in the fitting room, tell her it's my treat” he winked at the woman, aware he could use his charms in his own favor. She agreed to his request and he left the store just like any other ordinary customer, at the same time you received the package as a present the moment you tried paying for your stuff.

•••

After waiting what it seemed like forever, the Harry Styles concert was about to happen, which caused Joel to have a break from his brother, his girlfriend Maria and Sarah, who insisted they all spend hours waiting in line. His heart was full of joy and pride to see how happy his precious daughter was, the way she could barely sleep at night and that guy was the only thing she ever talked about. It was amusing to him, even if he ran out of patience from time to time, it was amazing to see his little girl looking like a beautiful young woman in her new outfit bursting with happiness. Joel couldn't also complain about the fact he managed to enjoy a full day by himself and get ready to receive you through the night. He'd gone grocery shopping, buying all the kinds of treats he knew you loved - or used to, as people could often change their personal taste over the years, but instead of seeing that with sadness, he felt glad to be able to learn something new about the woman he was madly in love with. He was going to go for some beer, but Joel thought again and decided to pick some wine, he just thought you were more of a wine kind of woman, more elegant than just cheap beer.

What you both hadn't counted on, was how hot the weather was, even if the sun had set down, it was still uncomfortable to remain inside, which made Joel suggest you both should move your date night to the swimming pool. At first you thought he was joking, but the stern look on his face told you he was being completely serious, and you thought it was a nice change. The way Joel took the bottle of wine, the glasses and simply began undressing without a word made you puzzled, until he turned around and told you to take off your clothes as well.

One skinny-dipping adventure and a quicky in his pool later, you both took sips of your wine, as you pressed yourself against him; Joel's arms were tight around your body as you rested your head on his chest, kissing it gently, and listening to his heartbeats, it was scary how out of the sudden, his arms became your favorite place in the world. You were far too deep into this story, and there was no way out without getting hurt, but that wasn't the time to think of that, you didn't want to have those kinds of thoughts, you wanted to spend your time with Joel and get lost into him, just as he was into you.

“Sarah told me you have a girlfriend” you blurted out, making Joel raise his eyebrow at you and looking down at you

“What?!”

“Well, she said you seemed happier lately, always texting someone, sneaking out here and there…” you chuckled “I wonder who that bitch is” Joel laughed at your comment, his hand sliding down your back and resting on your ass, squeezing it and then pecking your lips.

“She ain't no bitch, I can assure you that much” he said gently and nuzzled your neck “she's gorgeous, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, well, after Sarah, of course, but still, and she was so kind to forgive me after everything I've done” his lips were back on your cheek and then on your lips “and I love her very much”

For a moment your whole world stopped. Joel loved you. He admitted it out loud, it wasn't just a matter of simple assumptions, but rather a concrete, explicit feeling. You opened your mouth looking at him hesitantly, what exactly should you say? What could you tell Joel? Did you love him back? If so, were you ready to admit it and face the consequences of getting back together with the man who caused the biggest emotional trauma of your life. Joel took his hands off your body and looked at you with a hint of disappointment, even if he didn't want to admit it, he was disappointed, he thought you shared the same feeling as he did, so he sighed and nodded.

“It's fine, you don't have to say it back…” he cleared his throat and swam to the ladder of the pool “it's getting a little chilly, I think we should get inside”

•••

A few days later, your conversation with Joel simply wouldn't leave your mind; you were in love with him, it was impossible for anyone not to notice, him included, and yet, you didn't understand why it was so hard for you to simply admit it. Perhaps, if you did it, then it would become real, and your relationship with him would stop being a fun, little secret shared by the two of you, but rather a concrete relationship between two adults, where you'd eventually have to come clean and open up to family, friends, you would celebrate birthdays and holidays, anniversaries and face several, typical questions coming from all sides, wondering if you would both remarry or have kids. It was overwhelming, but not as bad as how you were feeling at that moment. You felt guilty and embarrassed, and the paranoid side of you was convinced Joel had been avoiding you for the past week, whereas Sarah was at your place nearly everyday, still talking about Harry Styles and showing you countless pictures of the concert, he wouldn't text much nor insist to see you, even when you suggested him to sneak out late at night and go to yours, he politely declined by saying Tommy and him got a new big client and work was rushed and soul crushing. Of course he could be telling you the truth, he did sound exhausted on the phone and Sarah had mentioned Joel and Tommy had been arriving late most days, both of them covered in sweat and in such a bad mood due to the unbelievable amount of work they were having. Yet, what should make you feel calm and at ease, didn't help one bit, it was uncomfortable and depressing not having Joel around, you missed him, his touch, his body but mostly his presence. He'd been a constant in your life for the past months, and it was only taking a week for you to feel abandoned. It wasn't fair to you, and yet, it wasn't fair to him either, not when he declared his love for you and you couldn't even say it back. You placed your living room, not sure whether you should drive to his home or not, in fact, you knew you shouldn't, but you wanted to, because that particular day, not even Sarah showed up, and it made you sad. You were so attached to the little family destiny set apart for you, simply a day or two away from them was enough to cause a large wound in your heart. You looked around, looking for an excuse to show up at the Miller's household; until your eyes widened and you grinned to see Sarah's history book lying around your coffee table. It was the perfect excuse to go and see them! Perhaps you could even end up having dinner with them, and then make up an excuse about a flat tire or whatever, have Joel giving you a ride home and end up being railed by him in the back of his truck. The longing for Joel was increasing and all you wanted was to make things right by explaining him you did have feelings for him and you needed some time, but you were willing to make sacrifices in order to be with him, because you wanted to and it was important for you that he saw how appreciated he was by you.

On your way to Joel's, you stopped at a bakery you knew Sarah loved, thinking of all the delicious treats you could take so you'd keep your family spoiled, at least a little. You smiled at yourself the moment you chose a couple of cupcakes, cookies and the chicken pie Joel loved, thinking of how you were already addressing them as your family. The truth is that they were indeed your family, the connection you three had was strong, the bond you created with Sarah without even knowing for a fact who she was and later on all that passion for Joel surfacing after spending a decade buried deep inside of you. It was a waste of time fighting that, and you wanted to get to them as soon as possible, you'd been alone far too long, it was about time to yourself have one good thing, to break free and admit how happy you were next to the Millers. You loved them just as they loved you, and it made no sense to fight that feeling and pretend it didn't exist.

The ride wasn't long, there was hardly any traffic in the suburbs, most families were already inside, having dinner together as the sun had set and the street lights were all lit up, as you parked your car, you saw Joel's truck in the driveway and felt your chest tightening in anxiety and fear; if he was already home why didn't he call or text you? Maybe he was indeed avoiding you?! Joel wouldn't make the same mistake twice and push you away, would he? You shook your head, you had faith in him, faith you both had matured and were able to handle things by talking and being honest with each other; you licked your lips and sighed, knowing that whatever was going on could be solved by the two of you as two functional adults, besides, there were a bunch of explanations to why he hadn't talked to you that day yet, you shouldn't jump to conclusions and let your paranoia win once more. You got out of the car with the bag full of treats and walked to the front door, you knocked a couple of times and waited for an answer but nobody came. It was odd, as you could hear Joel's and Sarah's voices coming from inside, and even if you couldn't tell what they were saying your heart raced, your gut feeling telling you something was up and you couldn't wait any longer, silently opening the door and getting inside. You placed the bag of food down the coffee table as you could clearly hear what they were saying. It seemed Joel and Sarah were arguing, which was extremely odd, since you had never seen them have any kind of disagreement, they just had a real nice and healthy father and daughter relationship in which they both listened to each other and acted with respect. As you approached, you heard Sarah's cries and you were taken by worry, perhaps someone had died? You couldn't wait any longer, you rushed and got into the kitchen, confused at first at what had happened between them, Joel looked so overwhelmed, his face was red and he desperately tried to make a point while telling Sarah a bunch of information she could barely cope with, as she cried in disappointment and shook her head, not believing anything her dad was saying. Her heart was shattered with disappointment and sadness, she couldn't believe her dad, her hero, the man she loved and admired the most in her life had done such a thing.

On the kitchen table, a photograph taken on your wedding day was lying around. A younger version of yourself hugged a much younger Joel as you both stood in front of the courthouse, smiling widely at the camera. There was no way to deny it nor hide it. Sarah had found out about your previous connection god knows how and Joel seemed desperate as he wanted to explain himself to his daughter, he couldn't bear having her so disappointed in him like that, it shattered his heart into a million pieces.

“Sarah…” you whispered and tried touching her cheek, wanting to caress it gently and assure her everything was fine now, that what had happened was in the past and that her dad was still the best father a girl could ever wish for. But Sarah moved her face away from your touch, her eyes were glistening with tears as she seemed so heartbroken

“You both lied to me! Why did you lie?” She asked and you looked at Joel wanting to have some kind of support in order to reply to her question.

“Sarah, we are both sorry, but your dad and I have made up after what happened, I know it's a lot to take now but don't be upset please” you asked her, Joel nodded and wrapped his arm around your waist in order to show her things were fine between the two of you. He promised to talk to her and explain everything to her in detail, but she was just so upset, feeling betrayed by the person she admired and loved the most in the whole world. You knew there was nothing you both could do at that moment, not with Sarah being so nervous and upset, instead, you asked Joel to call Tommy and suggested that he took her out for ice cream or something, maybe have a little chat with his niece while you and Joel could sit down and figure the best way to tell her everything. It didn't take more than twenty minutes for his younger brother to arrive, Sarah had drunk some water and washed her face, leaving with Tommy as you sat next to Joel. You took his hand and caressed it, while he refused to look you in the eye, the guilt and shame once more eating him alive, and now it had become even worse, as his precious little Sarah had found out the truth about him in the worst way possible. All she needed was an old picture for her school project and going through Joel's old memory box should be enough, and then she came across the pictures of his wedding day. Not to her mom, but to you instead, and then it all made sense: why you were never willing to be around her dad, or how you decided to keep yourself away from any kind of relationship. Because the asshole you told her you'd married once, was simply her father. The good old Joel Miller, the man who had to raise his baby daughter on his own after she left him, and then, Sarah had found out her dad had been really bad to someone so dearly to her. You, you could've been married to her dad, you could've been her mom, she could've had a family all along.

You looked at Joel and wiped a single tear that rolled down his cheek, even if he tried to hide it.

“What are we doing now, Joel?”

“I don't know…”

____

A/N: what a ride, right besties? Remember, feedback is life ❤️

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal one shot #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller one shot #joel miller story #pedro pascal story

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violetrashie · 10 days

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List (that no one has asked me for) of headcanons I have about Mean Girls (2024):

1. Karen is bisexual (the 11 people she slept with were all going to be men?? Come on!!!)

2. Regina is a lesbian (I have nothing to add Reneé has already said it all💅)

3. Gretchen made friendship bracelets for everyone (my sweet Gretchen 🤧)

4. Regina signs up for lacrosse because it helps with her back, ED and anger management issues (and because I really like that idea from the original movie 💫)

5. Sometimes everyone goes to Cady's math contests to support her even though none of them understand anything and Regina sometimes falls asleep

6. Regina gets bangs (like reneé) and the whole school ends up getting them too

7. Janis thinks about shaving her head because of that

8. In the end, after a while, necessary apologies, lots of talking, unexpected kisses followed by -"Why did you kiss me? -I didn't kiss you!! you kiss me!!" Regina and Janis become a couple 🥹

9. The rest of the group fakes surprise as if they haven't been planning it for half a year on their own alternative groupchat

10. In Janis' basement there is now a new pink couch. It's used by the plastics when they all hang out together 🩷

11. Regina is no longer evil and has brought out her sweet side but if someone attacks her people it takes her ZERO time to go apex predator mode

12. Eventually Regina adopts a more relaxed style of clothes (although she still abuses pink) and even wears things that Janis makes for her

13. In the time Regina was in bed she discovered fortnite and now she can't stop playing and getting pissed off when she gets killed (this is just guilty pleasure, move on)

14. Regina is self aware of the scar on her back/side from the accident. Janis always remind her that it is proof that she survived, that they are sexy, and that there is nothing in the world that can make her look bad ❤️‍🩹

15. Some nights Janis wakes up startled and sweating from nightmares about the accident. When this happens she calls Regina and asks her to just let her listen to her breathing for the rest of the night (they stay on video call while they sleep). When they sleep together Regina simply holds his face gently and lays it on her chest so that she can hear her heartbeat 💔

I could make an almost endless list because every day is a day to think about Mean Girls (and Rejanis)✌️

#mean girls #mean girls musical #regina george #janis imi'ike #rejanis #karen shetty #gretchen wieners #aaron samuels #damian hubbard #cady heron #chicas malas #Chicas pesadas #regina x janis #headcanon #wlw #renee rapp #auli'i cravalho

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tomsparkyr · 1 year

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𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐄

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

summary: a visual on how you and mason went from childhood bestfriends to lovers, shown through instagram

masterlist

mason mount x footballer!reader

mason mount x fem!reader

warnings: nothing really, fluff???

social media one-shot

don’t steal any of my work please, thank you!

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📍cobham training ground

liked by y/n y/l/n, declanrice and others

masonmount guess who i just met😁

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y/n y/l/n WHAT

y/n y/l/n THE ONE DAY I’M NOT THERE TF

⤿ masonmount couldn’t relate🫣

declanrice 😳😳

this comment was liked by masonmount!

username1 who else is stalking masons profile rn

⤿ username2 me🙋‍♀️

username3 it’s so cute seeing how mase and y/n interacted back then

⤿ username4 fr they were so in love😫😫

📍that winning feeling

liked by masonmount, declanrice and others

y/n y/l/n we love a supportive best friend💔

tagged: masonmount

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masonmount i’ll support you when you’re not licking my face

⤿ y/n y/l/n if you didn’t wanna be friends you could have just said☹️

⤿ username1 nah i love their dynamic still to this day

declanrice you two are cute👀

⤿ masonmount if you don’t shut it

username2 they’re so young🥺

📍it’s coming home

liked by masonmount, benchilwell and others

y/n y/l/n sing it for us mase

tagged: masonmount

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masonmount FOOTBALL’S COMING HOME

benchilwell now i’m the one stalking your page

⤿ y/n y/l/n CHILLY MAN

⤿ benchilwell how did y’all not know you were in love

⤿ masonmount it was a work in progress ok

username1 mason looks so young here

username2 supported england here, plays for england now wow

📍top of the league

liked by marcusrashford, bukayosaka and others

masonmount the goalscorer + the assist = leading the league💪

tagged: y/n y/l/n

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username1 they look SO GOOD TOGETHER TF

this comment was liked by masonmount!

y/n y/l/n no# 18 + no# 19

⤿ masonmount my best girl🥰

bukayosaka CHILLY’S RIGHT YOU TWO WERE SO IN LOVE

⤿ y/n y/l/n SHUT UP MAN

⤿ masonmount OKAY WE GET IT WE’RE IN LOVE SHOCKER

marcusrashford how cutie patoties

username2 why are all the england squad commenting on it 8 years later😭

📍england squad alert

liked by y/n y/l/n, kalvinphillips and others

masonmount looking onto the knockout stage, not anything else🙃

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username1 IS THAT Y/N??????

⤿ masonmount a gentleman never tells🤫

declanrice mase really said 😍

bukayosaka KALVIN😂😂😂 @kalvinphillips

⤿ kalvinphillips the moment i realised that i would win the bet🤑🤑

⤿ lukeshaw NOOOO

y/n y/l/n 🙃🙃

⤿ username2 WHAT DOES THIS MEAN:£:£):&/

📍birthday boy

liked by masonmount, jackgrealish and millions of others

y/n y/l/n happy birthday to the love of my life! words can’t express how much i love you and how i’m so glad i didn’t hold that grudge against you when we were 5 when you booted that football into my face. my other half, the number 19 to my 18, my bestest friend. happy 24th and cheers to keeping it cliche around here!

tagged: masonmount

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username1 OH MY FUDKSI GOD

benchilwell about time!😅

declanrice took you 14 years mate!

this comment was liked by y/n y/l/n!

username2 happy birthday mason!🥳

masonmount i love you💙

⤿ y/n y/l/n i love you more mase, happy birthday love xx💙

kalvinphillips hand over the money now boys

⤿ harrymaguire damn it

⤿ bukayosaka ffs

⤿ callumwilson you guys couldn’t have announced it a day later, i could have bagged some tenners man

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hate this but okay

#footballer imagine #mason mount x reader #mason mount fanfic #mason mount #mason mount smut #mason mount masterlist #mason mount blurb #mason mount x you #mason mount angst #mason mount fluff #mason mount x footballer!reader #mason mount imagine #chelsea

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taiiunknown · 1 year

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Whipped Cream 🤍…

This story is inspired by my favorite song whipped cream-Ari lennox 🫶🏽

Summary: y/n and Shuri have been friends since teens , they met through their moms . One day y/n Mom get Ill and Decides to let Queen Ramonda take care of her since y/n doesn’t really knows her dad . Around 16-18 shuri and y/n have a on and off relationship without anyone knowing especially the Queen, A lot of bumpy roads both of them ride on with each other , but they figure it out .💔

Warning:possessive shuri,Brat reader,cursing,smut⚠️⛔️(oral,,kissing,strap slinger shuri🌝), death,Angst,fluff, jealousy,light choking 😉,Crying (reader a crybaby), Manipulation, Embarrassment kink, Obeying kink, pussy whipped (reader and shuri), THIS WHOLE THING IS TOXIC AND CONTROLLING SO DONT TAKE THIS SERIOUS

Me and Shuri have known each other since we was around 14 until one day I had to move to America to live with my dad, And yes I am half American and wakandan bc my mom is from Wakanda and my dad is African American. I’ve lived in and out of Wakanda, My mom was really close to Queen Ramonda that’s how me and shuri met. Both of us was 14 and Ramonda wanted to catch up with my mom since both of them grew up together, so Ramonda invited me and my mom to the palace bc she also wanted me to meet her children.

When we arrived at the palace shuri was standing right next to her mom with a smile on her face when I approached them while having my headphones in, my mom snatched them off my head and whispered to me “show respect before I take your phone” she said “hi I’m y/n, nice to meet you” I said sarcastically while staring at them both with a smirk “wow” Shuri said shocked that I am in fact a rude person “Shall we ?” Queen Ramonda said pointing towards the entrance of their home “yes, and sorry” My mother whispered to Ramonda “it takes a village so don’t worry about it” Ramonda said with a chuckle.

When we entered the palace they introduced me to T’CHALLA and he was very kind, After 20 minutes of eating dinner with them and our moms catching up while laughing they dismissed us from the table and told me and shuri to go get to know each other more.

*in shuri’s room*

“Wow” I said walking into shuri’s humongous room “you can make yourself comfortable on my bed if you want?” Shuri said closing the door behind her, I walked to shuri’s bed and did what she said . “Sooo..”Shuri trailed off slowly walking towards me “what do you like to do for fun?” She finally asked “umm…I honestly into technology mostly but other than that I read,listen to music or skate board due to my dad teaching me when I was younger” I said “oh ok that seems cool…I like technology too.” Shuri said smiling while walking away “it’s awkward in here” I said bluntly while now standing up “yea…” Shuri said taking a deep breath “ want to listen to music ?” Shuri asked “sure.”

After spending two hours with shuri we found out we have things in common with each other , from being a popular loner to the music taste . Me and shuri had made a pact to hang out again to get to know each other more since we barely like dealing with people we very much clung to each other like we was meant to be friends, or even more than that, not saying I like shuri or nothing it’s just I feel like we are gonna have a long road ahead of us .

*5 years later*

Today is my 18TH birthday and I am so excited! I can’t believe that I am actually finally legal , I just wish that my mom was here to witness this bc ever since she been gone I’ve kinda felt lost even with the Queen and shuri been a big help with taking care of me since I was 16 and helping me heal , it’s just been a lot and I’ve even been to therapy to deal with my depression and attachment issues.

Oh ya… you guys didn’t know? Sorry I forgot to tell you .

My dad stop calling when I turned 15 so it’s always been me and my mom , But after me and shuri first meeting we have been hanging with each other non stop and I mean non stop. Okoye would say we was attached at the hip and I would 100% believe her . At 16 and shuri was 17 of course , I found out my mom had this very indescribable disease that neither me or shuri can figure out , till a couple months later it was too late , MY MOM TOOK HER LAST BREATH AT 38 Years old . That whole day was the worst day of my life bc I felt to small, like I was trapped in a bottle and can’t help to get out . Everyday I think about her, HER smile, HER smell,HER laugh, HER funny jokes, HER loving hugs, HER supportive ways, HER everything. Saying that I’m doing mentally okay was a understatement, bc I’m not.

*BACK TO THE PRESENT*

(Tonight me and shuri thought it was a good idea to get fucked up and also have fun , so we decided to throw a amazing 18TH party for me)…

I wore a cute champagne spaghetti strap dress with clear heels, And curled hair ofc .

Shuri decided to where a black button down shirt with black pants and a chain with a panther claw on it , Along side some sexy heels she go my for her 19th birthday.

“Y/n hurry we are gonna be late!” Shuri said while banging on my room door “OKAY MY BAD I DIDNT KNOW YOU WAS A PARENT WITH 12 KIDS !” I shouted back bc who was she rushing..

Once we made it to the club I am easily greeted by my little small group of friends, people that came to show love for my party, some of my friends who work in the lab beside me. “OMG YOU LOOK SO GORGEOUS MY LOVE !” My friend rhinestone says “THANK YOU BEBE!” I say pulling her into a hug. “ENOUGH LOLLY GAGGING LET GO GET WASTED !

After one shot, it turned into two, after two it turned into three, after three it went to fourth, after four it went to five, and let’s just say I get wasted quick.

( PLAY , I KNOW THERES GONNA BE A GOOD TIME- YOUNG THUG AND JAMIE XX)

MY song comes on and let’s just say my body was moving on its own honestly, I make my way through the crowd to start moving my hips as the rock, side, to side. I feel eyes burning in my skin , as I turn around I noticed her staring at me with nothing but lust in her eyes, then her eyes follows the figure behind me . Apparently there was hands slowly coming from behind me to grip my hips so I started to keep grinding on the unknown male , bc why not ? . As I look back to the corner shuri was at she was moving her finger in a (come here) motion so I obeyed bc I thought she genuinely wanted something even though I’m drunk as ever, as I got closer she quickly yanked me up by my neck (not in a abusive way THE FUCK) “WHAT TF ARE YOU DOING Y/N ARE YOU TRYING TO TEMPT ME Tonight BY DANCING ON SOME RANDOM AND LITERALLY MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH ME, YOU KNEW EXACTLY YOU WAS DOING , YOU WAS BEING A BRAT AND IM GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW BRATS GET TREATED!” She said in a low shout “meet me in the car, NOW!” She shouted in my ear . I QUICKLY MADE IT TO THE CAR WITH NO HESITATION BC IM IN SHOCK OF SEEING THIS SIDE OF SHURI , I KNEW SHE WAS MEAN BUT NOT THIS TYPE OF MEAN . And not to be that person but I got a little wet at that and couldn’t wait for what she was finna do when we got back to the palace bc me and shuri only had sex once and that was after like 2 months my mom died and it was just sex I needed to relieve my pain and after that night together we promised to just stay best friends and never mention it again .

The ride back to the palace was so silent , I can feel my wetness slowly dripping down my thigh and a pit in my stomach for what ever punishment shuri had for me , when we made inside the palace shuri gave me a quick glance and said “go to my room and strip and you better be naked by the time I get up there or it will be more consequences.” She said in a low tone , I quickly made it up to her room and did everything she told me to do , she slowly walked in locking the door behind and licking her lips like I was a snack , good thing I sober up quick . “Lay down and spread your legs” Shuri says while taking off her shirt and watch, less then a second shuri was between my legs licking my clit at the fastest pace and ever while being three fingers feel inside me , “UGHH- FUCK BABY IM ABOUT TO CU-” with out a thought I came so hard everything felt like it was turning white , “MHM” I squirted while making a high pitch moan that I never did before, I immediately went shy till shuri said “THATS MY GOOD GIRL” she said while slapping my pussy making me squeal a little. “Get on all fours and arch for me Usana” Shuri said while walking to her closet, “AHHHH!!!” I moaned so loud as shuri shoved in with out a warning with her strap while going at a impossible speed “FU- SHURI SLOW DOW-” *CLAP* “HUSH AND TAKE THIS DICK OR YOU WILL NOT CUM !” Shuri said after sending a harsh slap to my ass…

After a hour and 30 minutes of shuri fucking me brain less ,she bathed me and put me to bed after that she gave me a kiss on my forehead.

*two days later*

It’s been two days since shuri fucked me and she been keeping her distance lately, I was wondering why until she came in the lab today smiling and giggling with a girl she had her hands around her waist with . WTF , DID I MISS SOMETHING, I said to my self . Shuri noticed me and her smile instantly dropped, “Shuri can we talk for a minute ?” I said in the calmest voice I could ever have. “What’s up ?” Shuri answered with furrowed brows “who is that?” I asked “Lia” she said “mhm” I said “wym mhm?” Shuri asked with raised eye brow “just mhm” I said turning away and exiting to go back to my room .

“That was weird” RiRi said after I told her about what’s been happening “ so she just gonna leave you WHIPPED like that and bring who ever lia is, to her lab all hugged up with no real answer on who lia really is?” RiRi asked now getting mad about the situation “idk but two can play that game …” I said before me and rir said our good byes and hung up the phone.

*Time skip*

Two months has passed and I figured out that Lia and shuri use to fling with each other so I ended finding me a lil boo too , mykel, mykel has been breaking my back in , but not how shuri use to . I met mykel in the lab a couple times bc she usually the work in the area I work in , just to show him off to shuri I always kissed him in front of her or even let him hug me by my waist in front of shuri and trust me when I tell you , she HATED him!

“Hi babe” mykel said walking inside the lab coming towards my desk. “Hi handsome” i said with a bright smile , Me and mykel only been together for 4 weeks but so far it was going good , “what’s the move for tonight sexy ?” Mykel asked “idk you tell me, Bc no matter how much I will love to watch a movie and chill, I also will love to make a movie of our own” I said while straddling his lap (Right now me and mykel the only one in the lab since it’s 9pm)

“Y/n Will be right back!” Shuri said while grabbing me tightly by the arm and dragging me from mykel lap to a secluded under construction corner

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MARBLES?!” Shuri whispered/yelled “I’m sorry I didn’t know you was here.” I said “I honestly feel like you are tryna piss me off with that scum you’ve claimed to be with , And also me and you both know he can’t beat that pussy up better than me so stop this madness between you and him RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO BAST I WILL MAKE YOU AND HIS LIFE A LIVING HELL!” Shuri has officially lost her mind , Did this bitch just threaten me to break it off with mykel when she literally has a whole Girlfriend, OH hell no I’m finna turn up on her ass.

“YOU FUCKING BIT-” Before I can even finish I felt a hand wrap around my neck (Not a hard hold) “WATCH who you talking to Phambi kokuba ndimxelele uMntu wakho Indlela ebendindibize ngayo ngoTata, kwaye undithembe i wont hesitate ( Before i tell your Man How I had you calling me Daddy, And trust me i wont hesitate)” Shuri semi Whispered in my Ear . Shuri let go of me and walked off before turning back around and said “Do what I told you….NOW!” Then walked out the lab back door , When I looked around the corner shuri had me held at I noticed Mykel was packing up leaving “Babe? Can we talk for a minute?” I asked getting closer to him “ya wassup, And why was Queen Shuri so mad?” He asked “She just wanted to talk to me about a new project that I forgot about that’s all” “Ohhh okay, We’ll what you wanted to talk about?” mykel asked “I think we should break up…” I said with my head down “Why? Did I do something wrong?” “No!no no …It’s just I need to focus on myself for a while that’s it” I said with a tremble in my voice Tears was threatening to spill bc I seen his face sadden and it honestly broke my heart “I-I understand y/n… I’m sorry I got to Go” Mykel said rushing pass me sniffling slightly bumping my shoulder. When he left I honestly broke down letting all my tears fall bc I really liked him and he made me happy, I didn’t have to go through any toxic stages with him and he brung me hope and peace , but I guess good things doesn’t last forever…But this was the only way for me to keep both me and him safe bc everyone knows shuri is not the one to be played with…

After my little break down gathered my things and went home to cry some more bc ever since Queen Ramonda died shuri has been such a controlling,Manipulative,possessive,Mean person who wasn’t the same kind,understanding, sweet shuri that I use to love being around . It like the more I got older the more her love grew for me, And the more her love grew for me was more possessive she gotten.

*1 Month later*

It has now been a Month since shuri made me break up with Mykel and ever since that night shuri has doing nothing but getting under my skin , for example, she will have me staying in the labs from 5am till 9pm literally doing nothing but paper work or watching her do nothing !, Another time she had me do all her work just bc she claimed she has a meeting when she literally only went to Starbucks and took a nap for 4 hours.

I haven’t seen mykel after that night also, rumor has it he quit and moved back to nigeria. I kinda moved on from him but not as much bc little things kinda reminded me of how happy I was with him. Shuri and her girlfriend are still together of course, WHICH IS SO UNFAIR due to the fact shuri only wanted me to break up so she can still fuck me and keep her girlfriend, Yes you heard me I said still fuck me. Every time I even look at shuri she’s already staring and if I mouth off too her about stuff I don’t want to work on she has to put me in my place it’s either Fucking me senseless or giving me to silent treatment. Believe it or not I’m still madly in love with shuri it’s just she wants her cake and she want to eat it too, I sometimes just don’t understand us.

“FUCK YOU SHURI !” was all I heard outside the lab , When I turned my head I seen A angry Lia stomping away from shuri. When I seen shuri coming towards the door I quickly turned back around acting like I was still working on the sequence I supposed to did yesterday but my head was hurting at the time, “EVERYONE OUT !!” Shuri yelled which made everyone scatter out of the Lab , I grabbed my stuff and was finna leave from my station when I heard “NO YOU STAY !” When the lab was now clear she turned back around to look at me with nothing but lust and anger in my eyes “You look so good right now” shuri said as she looked at my black body con dress with my black bubble slides, gold anklet, and white lab coat. “And why do you have on slides in my Lab ?” She asked with a raised eyebrow while slightly biting her lip “I-I-I’m sorry , I j-ust thought since I wasn’t going to be here for long that I could wear something comfortable” I said stuttering a little bit bc she made me nervous I couldn’t even look her in the eye, “What did I tell you about eye contact?” Shuri said while slowly walking up to me, I didn’t say a word just kept my head down looking at the jewelry on my slides until I seen some black and white retro dunks come in my vision , shuri then lifted my chin with a not so tightly grip that made me look her in the eye “I STRICTLY SAID WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU , YOU LOOK IN MY EYES , WHEN I AM FUCKING YOU SO HARD THAT YOU CRY YOU LOOK INTO MY EYES, WHEN I AM THREE FINGERS DEEP IN YOU , YOU LOOK INTO MY EYE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!!” Shuri yelled “Y-YES” I whispered “YES WHAT ?!” Shuri said while now giving my ass a harsh slap that made me Instantly get wet “YES DADDY !” I Moaned while biting my lip to try to keep my other ones back “Meet me in my room I need you naked and layed on your back or I promise I will not make you Cum for two months” shuri said I quickly walked out the lab to do what she said when I made it to her room.

Let’s just say that’s after that night Shuri claimed me as Hers and promised me that she will never put me before a bitch who pussy isn’t good as mines ever again, After Shuri destroyed me for 2 hours me and her was layed down naked under her cover while I’m layed on her chest “Shuri what happened to Lia and mykel?” I asked curious “I sent mykel away and banned him from Wakanda” MY MOUTH DROPPED IN SHOCK “And Lia was mad bc I did the same to her and told her , Her pussy wasn’t good and kinda dry” MY EYES AND MOUTH WAS NOW WIDE BC WTF?!!! “Close your mouth before I stick the dick back in it” shuri said while kissing my neck , I quickly closed my mouth bc I’m tired. “I Love you shuri” I said while kissing her boobs since she kinda sitting up and I’m still layed on her chest “I love you More y/n , always and forever. You’re not going anywhere and me and you both know that”

Ever since we was teen we have both been

Whipped!

THE END 😛

#wakanda forever #shuri x reader #shuri x y/n #shuri udaku #toxic!shuri #riri williams #shuri x riri #shuri smut #riri x reader #riri x oc #iron heart

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half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk · 2 months

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Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 28 omg omg

mid season finale let's go batchersss 🤟

The Bad Batch 2x08

sleepy Wrecker 🤫🤲

Gonky and Echo watching Omega meditate 🥺

Omega asking Echo if he wants to try she was so innocently asking too 🥲

"I don't enjoy solitude" 💔😭

"hey boys" Rex my whole ass heart 🥰💕

lmao gives no details just is like ok meet me on coruscant like it's nbd 💀

how long has it been since they've been there ??

I'm assuming they've been there ?? idk ??

Rex introducing tbb like Cody did 🥲🤲 and Omega's little wave 💕

Echo keeping Omega back from the body, mom

the identifying number being wiped and Tech being the one to comment on not knowing that was a thing.... foreshadowing ? 👀

Echo stepping up immediately to speak in the senate 🥺

Hunter: "the senate won't listen to us, we're deserters" ... who Rampart said died in *his* attack, so the perfect people imo

"a simple data collection" right in the middle of imperial coruscant lololol ily Rex 💕

Chuchi and Omega team up 🥳🙌

they clearly don't think Chuchi is in that much danger bc they let Omega go with her ...

Omega with all her questions 🥺 she's learning everything she can

Omega's face seeing Rampart lmao meeee

he didn't even look at her 🙄

"there's nothing else she can do" HA idiot watch her go actually

Omega's run to look over the edge 🤲

"which one belongs to the clones?" heartbreaking 😫😭

I relate to Chuchi on a personal level, she cares sm about the clones 💕

Bail in dad mode keeping an eye on Omega hehe

Omega's confidence in tbb is so precious 🤲

Senator Burtoni lol blast from the past

the way she looks at Omega makes me uncomfy 👀

she gives zero fks about kamino girlll

"because I'm a clone too... it was my home .... and im angry" YES OMEGA SPEAKING UP FOR HERSELF TO A KAMINOAN I'M SO PROUD 🥳

Wrecker nearly getting zapped 👀

*mission impossible theme plays*

Wreckers saw !! bro I love it !!

Rex helping as many brothers as he can 🥺🤲

mans says he's helped "not enough" brothers... yeah but how many pls

"help's hard to come by these days..." Rex just ask him you know he'll go with you 🥲

"taking a lesson from your squad, we improvise" !!! tcw flashbacks lol I love when they have no plan 💕

knife knife knife 👀

"this is him better" Wrecker you've got this bby !!

lmao Tech controlling the cart from his datapad

Hunter's growl at Tech (again) 👀🤭

sneaky bois shhh 🤫

@anonymous-galager said Tech sounds like Crosshair in this scene hehe

regs: 'ayo someone activated the bridge' tbb + Rex: 'hey boys' they're so unserious while I'm hyperventilating 💀

the clones coming to stop tbb boys !! they're doing it for you !! 😫

Hunter: "new plan. 14, 5, 86" Wrecker: "all of them!?" I will never get tired of their plans 💕 (don't look at me plan 99 I'm not talking about you)

Rex: "we need an exit strategy" Echo: "got one, we're going over them" Rex: 😳 ??

Rex dodging blaster bolts 👌

"this should be interesting" Rex 🤝 Cody saying the same thing about tbb

Tech piloting the escape pod lmao he can literally fly anything

Rampart 🔫😈

lol he really thought he did something 💀

Omega's disguise wearing one of Chuchi's ponchos 🥰💕 Cal Kestis is coming for that poncho 👀

Rex giving Omega the data !! how much they all trust her 🥺

Rampart's whole speech full of rubbish 🙄

Omega catching her breath after running that whole way 🥺 you did good bby 💕

YES CHUCHI PLAY THAT EVIDENCE 🥳

Omega having to relive kamino being destroyed 😭💔

I PANICKED ITS PALPS 🙃

I hate that they twisted the whole thing so bad 😡😡😡

"I was following orders" well well well how the turn tables

the clones taking him away !!! it's like poetry, it rhymes 👌

Chuchi looked so defeated 😭😭😭

Omega hearing the introduction of stormtroopers ... I'm stuck in the foetal position forever 💔😫

Rex hating on palpatine hehe

"the fate of all the clones is now sealed because of us" AND THEY THINK ITS THEIR FAULT I HATE IT HERE 😫😭💔

"I will keep fighting for the clones" me too babes

I thought it was weird tbb just seemed to know Echo would go with Rex but it has taken me this long to realise they probably all discussed it while Omega was taking the data in 🙃😭

each of their lil moments with Echo 🥲

poor Omega probably blames Rex for Echo leaving 💔

"we're a squad" "we need you too" ...when I cry forever 😭

Omega literally jumping into his arms 🥺 and then wiping her tears away *screams into pillow*

the sad clone music I am in spain without the s

"keep an eye on them" ~ mom worrying about the kids

THE CROSSHAIR PARALELLS HELP-

and she's hugging Lula again 💔💔💔💔

I knew it'd be a bad idea to leave it all this close together I am gonna be an absolute wreck watching the s2 finale and going straight into s3 🙃

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amoremainslayer · 13 days

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OMG I WAS DOING THE LE SSERAFIM WORKOUT THE OTHER DAY AND MY WHOLE BODY WAS SO FUCKING SORE , I COULDN'T WALK PROPERLY FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS😭😭 which gave me the idea offfff GYMRAT!Seok Matthew Helping BEGINNER! Reader. I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT MATTHEW IS THE TYPE TO SUPPORT YOU AND KEEP YOU GOING AND AT THE END HE HELPS U RELIEVE UR SORE MUSCLED BY MASSAGING IT AND JUST CONSTANTLY HUGGING U AND PRAISING U FOR HOW GOOD U DID🤭🤭🤭

💖

GYM RATS - S.MT

Pairings : Seok Matthew x gn!reader

Genre : fluff, slightly suggestive, established relationship

Warnings : none

A/n : no because I realized I have like nothing written for matthew so I had to make this good😓💔

Not proofread!!

There you stood like a lost puppy, watching him finish his sets on a machine you didn't even know the name of. Matthew finished his sets with a soft groan, looking up to you from his sitting position "Whats wrong baby?" He asked, eyebrows raising in curiousity.

You pouted slightly "Those machines dont work" you frowned slightly and matthew let out a laugh at your cuteness. He climbed off the machine before taking his waterbottle "Let's try again" He spoke reassuringly before letting you lead him to that machine.

As you arrived, Matthew looked at the machine and back to you "How could not do that?" He spoke amusingly, looking down at the leg press.

You snorted and began explaining every little detail of what had happened "... and I tried my best to just lift this fucking plate with my legs, and trust me my legs aren't that weak, but it just couldn't work!" You put your arms in the air dramatically and matthew laughed at you.

"Have you ever tried setting it to a different weight?" He asked while raising an eyebrow and you froze, trying to remember if you did. You could hear him snicker before walking over to the machine and setting it to a lighter weight "Try again now"

You sighed, slightly embarrassed at your dumbness before sitting down on the machine and positioning your feet on the plate "Since it's your first time, you'll do 3x15 sets, alright? With each set we'll put a little bit more weight on it" He explained, positioning himself behind you.

You just nodded silently, before beginning to do your sets. The first set was no problem, but as matthew added some weight to the machine, you felt the burning sensation in your thighs rise. You let out a breath, trying your best to finished the second set.

You let the plate fall back to its original place with a soft groan "Can't we just do 2 sets for now?" You batted your eyelashes at matthew but he just shook his head "3 sets are nothing baby, so just do the last set" he said while putting his hands on your shoulder.

You sighed in defeat, positioning your feet on the plate again before doing the last set. You threw your head back slightly, your thighs trembling as you pushed the plate up with all your strength.

Matthew was watching everything from behind, biting his lip silently as his mind wandered to another occasion where you had looked like this. He shook his head, reminding himself you needed his support so he began giving you compliments and started counting with you.

"13... 14... 15!" Matthew clapped with a smile while you fell back spent out "You did well, love" He grinned making you stand up. At the sight of your legs trembling you groaned "I don't think the gym is something for me" you murmured and rested your forehead on his shoulder which left him laughing at you.

_______

You let yourself fall onto your shared bed, face stuffed into the pillow while whining. Matthew had encouraged (forced) you to spend another 2 hours at the gym with him resulting in sore muscles everywhere.

"I hate you" you groaned as you heard matthew enter your bedroom. You were the first one to shower, so you had to wait a little for him to finally join you. He just laughed, climbing onto the bed before sitting on your legs "Want me to give you a massage?" He suggested and you nodded eagerly, hoping it would get rid atleast of a little bit of the soreness.

With that he began slowly massaging your shoulders, earning muffled groans and moans from you. He worked his way down to your thighs, massaging them with his hand while listening to your noises.

It would be a lie to say he wasn't turned on, but he held himself back, not wanting to give you even more soreness. After he finished his massage, he pressed a gentle kiss on your shoulder and layed beside you "It'll fade over the next few times" He spoke, letting you rest on his arm. You snorted softly before sarcastically saying

"There's no next time, matthew"

#amoremainslayer #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone x reader #seok matthew #matthew #zb1 matthew #zerobaseone matthew #matthew x reader #seok matthew x reader

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thisisarcanereverie · 1 year

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Hi! Hope your having a great day/night! Could i request a #11💔 with a dark Moonknight system x reader? Thankyou x

My Angel (Dark Moonknight x FEM! Reader)

A/N: There may be a few plot holes, I wrote most of this at 2 am with no sleep.

Word Count: 5k+.

Warnings: DARK THEMES: (murder, kidnapping, manipulation, toxic personality, hopelessness, grief.)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sometimes you wonder how you wound up here. Not physically, but in this situation. With the man before you who was not your husband, but donned the ring nonetheless, whose last name(s) are attached to you; whose bed you share.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You used to know the host, Marc Spector. You met when you were kids, you tried to be kind to him after noticing the bruises that littered his arms and how scared and angry he seemed to be. He seemed to like you, but as time flew by you began to realize that the bruises on his arms didn’t stop there; and that they weren’t from rough-housing or by being clumsy and careless on playground equipment. You didn’t piece together exactly what was going on until you were around 14 and walked past his house where you heard his mother. You tried telling your parents, but all they said was that it wasn’t any of their business and that getting Marc help was more trouble than it was worth.

After realizing that no one was going to help Marc you tried to, you offered him to stay over at your house when your parents went away on weekends, and invited him to dinner most nights to make sure he had something to eat. Little by little he became a large part of your life, he was your best friend and much like you knew him; inside and out, he knew you. While you may have taken care of him, he showed you what it was like to live on the edge. He was always an adrenaline junky, balancing himself on top of the monkey bars, or sneaking out late at night to a party you were definitely forbidden to go to. But despite him going from a messy haired, angry little boy to someone who caught eyes from people passing him on the street; you never felt that way towards him. The bond you both shared ran deeper than that, you’ve held his hand as he cried and accepted all of him, and he’s seen you during the worst of your depressive episodes, the ones were you don’t shower for half a week and your room becomes nothing but heaps of laundry and unwashed dishes.

You didn’t realize how much you came to love and depend on him until a month or two after you both turned 18 and you hadn’t heard from him in a few days. Ever since the day you both met the longest you had gone without speaking was a day, and that was because you were in one of your episodes and Marc had been forced away for a day trip to his grandparents. Something had been wrong and anxiety gripped you, you went over to his house, only to be greeted with his father. Mr. Spector, he wasn’t someone you liked so much. You asked what had happened to your friend Mrs. Spector came into view with a whole bottle of brandy in her hand.

Her hair was matted and eyes rimmed red, she smiled and the overwhelming scent of alcohol invaded your sense of smell. She told you she was celebrating because her “jealous demon” of a son was finally gone. At first you panicked, thinking by ‘gone’ she meant that she finally beat him too hard and killed him. But Mr. Spector clarified that he had joined the Marines and left after packing a single duffle bag, showing you the letter they had received announcing Marc’s enlistment.

You cried for a few days, Marc had left without telling you anything. Had you truly meant so little to him that he could just leave and not tell you?

Eventually you moved on, you moved out and started learning how to live your life without him. You made new friends and fell in love time and time again until you met Lukas.

He was the definition of a tall, friendly giant. His hands were gentle and his words kind. You came to love the blue of his eyes and the blonde mop on top of his head he called hair. He was from down south and was raised by a mom who taught him how to treat a lady. You couldn’t even remember the last time your hand touched a door knob that wasn’t for the bathroom. He laughed at animal videos and when your depression got bad, there he was, your ray of sunshine and all that was good in this world and he washed your hair, he changed the sheets, he kissed your forehead and put on your favorite tv show. Lukas would whisper how much he loved you, even when he thought you were sleeping.

At some point the ache and whole that Marc had left grew smaller and smaller, until you rarely thought about him. Occasionally you would see someone with dark curly hair and a hook nose and be reminded of Marc, but then you would move on. He tried reaching out a few times with letters, they were addressed to your parents house. They forwarded it to you and you responded a few times but eventually the letters became less and less until eventually they stopped.

You were reminded of him about a year ago when figuring out the guest list for your wedding with Lukas. His guest list was full while yours was pretty scarce, you invited a few family members and your friends. But unlike Lukas who had always been a guy who made friends easily, you were the opposite. You were content with the few friends you had and weren’t close to many extended family members. It wasn’t until Lukas said something about Marc that you thought of him. You had heard through the grapevine that he moved to London a few years back and had gotten married himself. After a few calls you got an address and a phone number.

Lukas excused himself for you to call him, knowing your past with Marc and how much he had been a part of your life, he thought this should be a private conversation.

You looked at the number for a while, debated it in your head. Marc hadn’t invited you to his wedding but at the same time you both had drifted apart and you really don’t know the circumstances surrounding it. It took place in Egypt and you couldn’t have attended at the time anyways, even if you had known for months. Then the blip happened and you have no idea if he had been blipped for those years or not.

At some point you just pressed the call button.

Beep

Bee-

“Yeah?”

You cleared your throat for a second, this voice was deeper, rougher than the Marc you knew.

“Is this Marc Spector?”

“Depends, is this (Y/n)?”

Your eyes widened wondering how he knew.

“Yeah, it is- how did you know?”

“Your voice hasn’t changed that much since the last time we talked Angel.”

You laughed, of course he would remember your voice meanwhile his nearly gave you a heart attack from the shock. You both talked for a while, and you asked if he was free to come over to the U.S in a few months for your wedding. You swore his voice shifted but didn’t press, reasoning it to be a connection glitch. Marc accepted the invitation before you both said your goodbyes.

Lukas had been happy for you, reconnecting with Marc. When you started to have doubts saying Marc probably felt obligated to since he didn’t invite you to his, he assured you that probably wasn’t the case.

After that days became a blur of planning, semi snarky comments from family members (you know the ones), and texting back and forth with Marc. You both kept in consistent contact since that day, when Marc couldn’t sleep he’d text you. Sure he’d go a few days without texting but he explained about letting Steven take over a little more. Letting him have his own life in a way. You remember how he struggled with Steven growing up, how he developed him to cope with the loss of his brother and the abuse and neglect from both parents. Marc had resented him the last time you saw him face to face, but after hearing that you were happy for him, that he no longer resented the best parts of himself.

It was a month before the wedding when Marc came into town. You didn’t even know until you heard a knock on your front door and you opened it. At first you didn’t recognize him, but then he opened his mouth.

“Can I help you?” You asked, your hand still firmly placed on the door. He laughed before his lips turned upward into a crooked smile and placed a hand over his chest.

“Ow, I’ve been wounded,” Marc said dramatically, “first I suffer from jetlag and now my own Angel doesn’t recognize me.”

“Marc!” You gasped, finally recognizing him. He may have a few more gray hairs in his head and stubble littering his face, his eyes harder than they were in his youth. But sure enough, it was the same curly haired adrenaline junky you had befriended all those years ago. He opened his arms as you threw open the door and hugged him. Sure his shoulders may be broader and his chest more toned, but he still smells like coffee and fabric softener, and he was still warm. In that sense it was like no time had passed.

“I can’t believe it, aren't you supposed to be in London right now?” You asked as you gently pulled away from him and ushered him inside.

“I’m here on a business trip,” he explained as he looked around your apartment, “it’s going to last past the wedding date so I figured why not ambush you when you least expect it.” you laugh as you hug him again before putting the kettle on for tea.

You talked for hours, it was like no time had passed, your heart only grew happier as you saw Lukas coming in the apartment. You stood up to greet him, giving him a peck before introducing him to Marc.

“Lukas, this is Marc Spector.” You said, you could see his eyes widen as he took in Marc, you look to see a certain look in his eyes, one you remember seeing a few times but never knowing why.

“The Marc Spector, well I’ll be damned.” Lukas extended a hand and Marc took it, Marc was a decent height but even he dwarfed next to your fiance.

“You must be Lukas,” Marc said, a forced smile donning his face, not that you could tell.

“Bunny here has told me so much about you I feel like I know you already.” Lukas wrapped an arm around your waist, a comfortable weight there. You don’t notice Marc’s gaze sharpen or the strain in his voice.

“Same here,” Marc had always been a man of few words, at least when it came to other people. You never understood why you were different.

The rest of the evening was spent drinking a few beers and talking. You sat in the loveseat with Lukas while Marc sat on the plush chair across, it wasn’t until after 2 that Marc called for a cab and left you and Lukas.

“Hey Bunny?” Lukas began his voice slightly garbled by the toothbrush in his mouth, you spit out the cinnamon flavored past before turning to him.

“Yes Babe?”

“Is Marc always like that?” You looked over at him confused.

“What do you mean?” Lukas spit out the paste before answering.

“I don’t mean anything bad about it,” he explained before putting his toothbrush back, “I’m just getting the vibe that he doesn’t like me.” You put a hand on his arm in assurance.

“Marc’s had it pretty rough, he hasn’t been shown a lot of kindness so he just comes across like that to new people. It’s not that he doesn’t like you, he’s just feeling you out is all.” you kiss his cheek before continuing, “not everyone can be as kind as you I’m afraid.” His cheeks flushed as a smile spread across his face. You went to bed that night not thinking much of it.

You should have.

You shouldn’t have made excuses for Marc, dismissed every backhanded word or the glint in his eye. You should’ve listened to Lukas, you should’ve run far, far, far away while you still could’ve.

What followed after that night could only be described as…odd.

Things started to go missing, weird things like your hairbrush or an old shirt you’ve worn since forever, things like that. You chalked up to stress from the upcoming wedding.

Everyday Lukas would show up a little more disheveled than before. First it was a potted plant landed right behind him, then a car nearly ran him over, then he swore one day that someone was following him. The stress was getting to him as well, you could tell. You didn’t know why these things were happening to him and you didn’t know how to make it better. So, naturally you vented to Marc. He would assure you that things are just hectic because most things are just before a wedding. “I would know,” he would tell you. Marc vented to you as well, about how the divorce settlements were going with Layla.

Eventually the day came. You were dressed head to toe in white silk and a thin veil, excitement and nervousness burned through your veins. You hadn’t seen Lukas since the previous day, claiming it was ‘bad luck’ to see the bride before the wedding. He had always been superstitious so you didn’t find it odd, why would you?

Once you were ready you compulsively glanced at the clock, and with each second that passed past the original time you were supposed to walk down the aisle the buzzing in your veins turned sour and racked you with uncertainty. Everyone tried calming you, assuring you that he was just running late because of traffic or saving a kitten from the side of the road. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s done that.

“I’m sorry, is there a Miss. (Y/n) (L/n) here?” You turned to look at the door, two men in uniform stood in the archway, looming like ravens in an abandoned cornfield.

You stood up and made your way to them, preparing yourself for the worst, but holding on to the smallest, most irrational bit of hope you had that everything was alright.

“I’m her.” You said, you tried not to delve deep into the sad, uncomfortable look in their eyes as they cleared their throats.

“I’m afraid we have some upsetting news, could we have a minute alone?” You nodded towards everyone as you ushered the men inside. Sitting gently on the couch, still holding on to that smallest scrap of hope even as the cops sat in front of you with that unmistakable look of pity in their eyes.

“I’m sorry to tell you this, especially today, but Lukas Whitehall was caught in a hit and run an hour ago.” Tears prick your eyes as your entire body felt like it was submerged in freezing water, “He died as he was being escorted by ambulance to the hospital.” You struggled to keep composure as the hot tears in your eyes burned.

“Do you know who did it?” You asked, your voice shaky as you looked away from the officers, not being able to bear seeing them anymore.

“The license plate number traced back to a man in north Wisconsin, he reported the car had been stolen months ago. Forensics found a car not long after the hit and run matching the description in a ditch, we are currently in the process of running tests to see if we can get a match on anything.” You nodded numbly as the officers promised to keep you and family posted on anything that may come out, before apologizing again and leaving. You sat there, as you sat here smiling and laughing an hour ago Lukas was suffering and you had no idea. In a matter of minutes you went to a nervous, blushing bride. To a would-be widow.

Your dress suddenly became too tight as you finally allowed your body to react, you stripped yourself as you tried desperately to breathe. But no matter how many gulps of air you consumed it was knocked out of you with every breath you took. Those held back tears burned like hot iron cascading down your cheeks, as the crushing weight of grief finally takes you. You could swear you could hear your heart shattering, every fragile, little piece of your heart that belonged to him was breaking.

They say you can’t take anything with you when you die.

That’s not true.

The day Lukas died he took those shards of your heart that broke with him. It didn’t take long to plan the funeral. Lukas was cremated and his ashes were spread back home, underneath his favorite apple tree as per his request. Sadness had passed days ago, now there was anger. It was dark, and seething, it was like the rumble of thunder before a storm; threatening and ominous, and promising destruction in its wake.

Legally speaking, since you were never married to Lukas you were considered his ex-fiancee and not his widow, so all information about the hit and run case you had to hear second hand from his mother.

They searched the car and found nothing, not one hair or fingerprint that could trace to someone or something, he wasn’t dealing in anything illegal or dangerous. They marked his death accidental and the case went cold.

You sold your honeymoon away to someone else, gave everything used for the wedding away. You didn’t want to be reminded of it.

With the money from the honeymoon plus what you had saved you didn’t have to worry about getting back to work so soon. Besides, Marc extended his trip indefinitely and held up in your apartment with you and had promised to take care of things while you grieved.

He held you as your body wracked itself exhausted from your sobs, fed you even when the food tasted like ashes in your mouth, he washed the grease and sadness from your hair.

Day by day he tended to you and the guilt of him being so kind to you while you were a mess started eating at you. Why has he stuck around? Why does he take care of you?

You asked him once and he simply replied.

“I got you and you got me, like how it’s always been.” and that was that.

After a month you slowly got back on your feet, the anger still there simmering under the surface; you’re not sure if it will ever go away. But life moves on, with a heavy heart you know you can’t afford the apartment Lukas and you shared without him and Marc can’t stay with you forever. So you began looking into smaller, more affordable apartments until you finally found one not far from there. After going there and taking a look at the place, it wasn’t too bad. It was much smaller than the one you were living in, but you, yourself didn’t have much; most of it had belonged to Lukas. After agreeing to take a look and signing the lease tomorrow morning you went back to the apartment.

Marc had just got done preparing dinner when you walked through the door.

“Hey food’s ready, just have a seat.” He gestured to the seat at the table, Marc was a hardened Marine man and suffered badly from resting bitch face so to anyone who didn’t share a home ec class with him, it would be a shock that Marc had a secret talent for cooking. He had cooked homemade pizza, the scent of the sausage and melted cheese made your mouth water as you gladly sat down.

You both had been a few bites in when you spoke.

“So I went to see an apartment today.” You said, Marc looked up questioningly.

“Why?” He asked slowly.

“I can’t afford this place by myself and this apartment is too big for me.” You took another bite.

“I can help,” Marc said, “I can be your roommate, already am sort of.”

“Marc,” You said seriously, dropping the slice of pizza, “you can’t stay here.”

“Why not.”

“Because you have Steven to worry about,” You said, “because I can’t keep depending on you for everything, because you have a life of your own to get back to, because I have a life as well that I need to push through despite how much I don’t want to, because-”

“None of that matters.” Marc interrupted, “Steven will be fine, my affairs in London are settled, there's no need for me to go back there,” Marc's hand reaches out to you, “and you can keep depending on me because I want you to depend on me because I love you.”

“I love you too Marc, I understand, but you nee-”

“No,” Marc said, his eyes narrowing in on you, “I don’t think you do.”

“You know what,” You say getting up from your chair, wiping your hands on your napkin tired of Marc interrupting you, “I can’t talk to you when you’re being like this.” You walk all about three steps away from the table when you feel Marc's hand wrap around your wrist firmly, turning you around and pulling you towards him. You were about to yell at him when his hand moved swiftly from your wrist to cradle your face as his lips descended on yours.

There was only one time you wondered what it would be like to kiss Marc, and that was when you had a girls night in, in highschool and everyone was gushing over him, daydreaming about kissing him and how he would be as a boyfriend. The girls had a bet he tasted like rebellion and cherries.

Now you know he tasted like bad ideas and pepper.

A part of you, the one that missed the physical comfort that Lukas provided wanted to give into it. Even if it was just one kiss. The other had a sick gut feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong.

You pushed him off of you when you processed what was going on. You resisted the urge to slap him as you saw him regain himself.

“I’m so-”

“Get out.” You glared at him, the sick feeling growing the longer he stood there. You went to move past him when you found yourself pinned against the wall, immediately you started thrashing but to no avail, he was stronger.

“Listen,” he said quietly, “please just listen.” You stopped thrashing but his hands did not waver. “When we met, my brother had died and no one wanted to help me, everyone blamed me for what happened to him. Everyone except you, you saved me. My Angel, you saved me. I may owe an Egyptian god my soul, but I owe you my life.” His forehead pressed against yours, “Every burn, every cut and bruise my mother gave me you made me better. You accepted me for who I am, all parts, even the ones I was ashamed and resentful of. After I left I did horrible things, things that keep me up at night. My life literally became hell without you, I tried to do right by you hoping one day the blood on my hands would be cleansed and I could finally hold you again. I even married Layla because I owed her that after getting her father killed, hoping that maybe if I did his blood would wash itself away.” He leaned his head back, eyes studying you, “I know now that that's impossible. No matter how many evil people I kill, that blood will still be there,” a single tear falls, “but I still want to hold you. My Angel. I was about to give up completely, let Steven take over fully when you called. You have no idea what that call meant to me, to hear your voice, your laughter, even if I couldn’t see you it revived me. I’ve spent months since that call trying to get back to you. I had hoped Lukas was not as great as he paraded himself to be….sadly he was. It hurt me to kill one more innocent person but,” Your blood ran cold, “what is one life compared to the one I get to share with you?”

“You…” You swallowed thickly, “you killed Lukas.”

“He didn’t suffer,” he assured with only one hand gripping you now, “I made sure of that.”

“I regret saving you.” You glared, “I should’ve listened to my parents and let you drown.”

“You don’t mean that Angel,” You feel the sharp prick of a needle against your throat, “you don’t have one cruel bone in your body. That’s how we got here in the first place.” The outlines in his face blur until everything goes black.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

When you woke up you weren’t in the apartment but somewhere else, you didn’t know where exactly but you knew for sure you were far away from New York. Marc came later and explained that he agreed about needing to move on from your apartment, just not without him.

It was a few months in when you finally asked him why, and how he could do the things he did.

When the Marines didn’t work out for Marc he turned to the life of a mercenary, he crossed one of the men he was working with trying to get the archeologists to safety; which didn’t work out for him as he had hoped. The archeologists died anyway and he was on his way as well when a voice claiming to be the egyptian moon god Khonshu offered him a choice. Live and become his Avatar, his fist of vengeance against evil doers, or die. Obviously he chose life, he carried on like that for a few years, even during the blip. But despite all those years, even through his marriage and divorce with Layla he thought of you, he even showed you the ratty photo he carried around in his wallet. It was you, you must have been eighteen in the picture, smiling as the sun hit you. He kept that picture with him, even looked at it as he was dying the first time, promising himself that one day he would see you again. He was going to wait until his service to Khonshu was done, but then you called. He was about to give up control completely to Steven, the grief of his mother dying overwhelming but you brought him back. After the call he had to have you, he went on the first flight to the U.S which happened to land in Wisconsin. He claims he doesn’t remember stealing the car but he didn’t care because the next thing he knew he was on his way to New York. He stopped along the way quite a few times, Khonshu’s justice and all that. But finally he made it to you. It wasn’t until Lukas showed up that night that Marc forgot you had a fiancee. Marc had tried to get Lukas to leave, first trying to blackmail him (which didn’t work because he had nothing to hide.), then he resorted to threats. He didn’t want to kill Lukas, just harm him enough to get the message but he always came back, until eventually the wedding came and Marc did what he “had” to do. And in your lowest point he was living the life he had always wanted. He bathed you, cared for you, and you depended on him. And as for Steven, well, one look at his “dream girl” and he was on board. Tired of being lonely. And a third alter, one you had never seen, Jake Lockley, well he was more than pleased with the chain of events that led you here. Marc had planned on taking things slow, working you until he had you completely dependent. He didn’t expect you to put up a fight so you accelerated things.

By the time he was done you were in a daze, like everything around you was underwater and out of reach. This man in front of you was not the boy you grew up with, the one with bruises and sad eyes; now he was terrifying and grew into the name that everyone called him in your neighborhood.

A monster

You didn’t talk to him for weeks, choosing to instead stare out the window at unfamiliar surroundings. That was so close and yet so out of reach. You once laughed a little when you thought about how sad you were that you would never get to see another person other than Marc, Steven, or Jake again. It was funny to you because you, the introvert, actually miss seeing people.

One day while still staring out that window Steven came into the room, excitement evident on his face. He was holding a piece of paper.

“Look darling,” he said, handing you the piece of paper.

Marriage Certificate. You read further down to see Marc’s name next to yours, only instead your last name was his.

(Y/n) (M/n) Spector.

You felt nothing as you handed the piece of paper back to Steven, who started to ramble from all the excitement. You didn’t wonder how he made it possible, or if it was a legitimate piece of paper. You felt nothing as you continued to stare out the window while Steven continued to ramble before finally leaving with a kiss on your temple.

That’s how life became for you, you didn’t speak, even as Steven cried and begged you to you didn’t. Even as Jake threatened and got angry. You just stared outside or stared at the floor, you refused to look at him.

Meanwhile Marc, he watched you. Once you’ve made up your mind that was it, and he knew that. But as time drew on and as he took care of you like one would a precious doll, the weight of what he did to you was started to don on him.

About six years after he first brought you home he finally asked you the question that had been eating away at him since the very beginning.

“Have you ever loved me?” he asked, voice rough and tired. Then for the first time in six years you finally looked at him, your once bright and loving eyes devoid of all feeling and life.

“What does it matter now?”

As your eyes went back to the floor Marc finally understood what he has done and what he has to do now. He spent one more night with you, he bathed you and dressed you in the nightgown he thought you liked most, and laid you down on the sheets he washed that morning. He held you close, his tanned and war worn skin contrasting drastically to the soft, white gown you wore. He breathed you in, the smell he’s come to love all his life. The smell of roses and honey, and hummed you your favorite song, the one you used to sing to him as children. He talked about all the good times you had together, he talked through the night while you didn’t say a word. And when the first rays of morning came he reached into his drawer and grabbed one syringe. You didn’t move as he pressed it against your skin, you just stared at the ceiling, a small smile donning your face as your eyes slipped closed. Marc sobbed and wailed openly for the first time since his mother’s death.

He could feel Steven and Jake fighting, even Khonshu was going ballistic, tearing him apart from the inside. But Marc knew this was the price he had to pay, he didn’t deserve an angel like you. He had clipped your wings and kept you to himself, even as you were in pain he kept you.

He knew better than to reach for the second syringe Khonshu wouldn’t grant him that mercy. So finally he did it, he gave up control, accepting his punishment as a fly on a wall forever.

#marvel #x reader #mcu #marvel x reader #mcu x reader #marvel x reader smut #moon knight x reader angst #mcu moon knight #moon knight imagine #moon knight x reader smut #marc x reader #marc spector x you #marc spector angst #x reader angst #mcu angst #oscar issac #dark marc spector x reader

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sickficideas · 9 months

Note

any bsd sickness headcanons or scenarios you think about often that you haven’t shared yet?

absolutely anon thank you for the question!!!! I love sharing these 💖💖 here's some I've been thinking about recently !!

- I've been thinking about Atsushi getting awful nightmares since it is canon he deals with them often 💔 sometimes they're so bad that he throws up as soon as he wakes up from them, and he's too afraid to go back to sleep, so he comes into work completely shaken and exhausted 💔 they're much worse and more frequent when he's already sick too, especially when he has a fever

- Jouno gets serious migraines that he just passes off as headaches to everyone else, but they're so much worse than they should be because of his heightened senses

- I also love the mental picture that Jouno with a high fever paints and how much it'd throw off his senses

- Tecchou eating weird food combinations all the time HAS to cause him some issues. he ends up with awful stomachaches or food poisoning and usually won't understand why until Jouno points it out lol. but poor thing is so dedicated to his job he'll be in the middle of a meeting and just politely ask to leave so he can go throw up for a minute

- i love Hirotsu looking after black lizard + Akutagawa...i think he's probably known Akutagawa and Gin since they joined pm (at 14 and 13 years old) and when they were younger he took care of them when they were sick 💔 he still quietly looks after them now that they're older

- Gin has a much better immune system compared to her brother, but she has a bad habit of letting her wounds go unchecked until they get infected and she gets very sick from that. Sometimes she's gone home thinking her injuries are nothing and Akutagawa comes home to find her unresponsive with a high fever from the infection 😭 he's given the black lizard vague talks about making sure they all get their injuries checked before they go home and (before Tachihara knew The Secret) Tachihara always found himself thinking wtf why does he care

- I also think she and him both have weak constitutions. she's better off than he is generally, but she's prone to fainting when she's very overwhelmed

- also period whump is fantastic and Gin is a great candidate i think. she was malnourished for a very long time growing up in the slums and still struggles and it's thrown off her cycles so she gets them very very irregularly. she still doesn't fully understand what the deal is because she grew up in the mafia as a teenager with only men.. they're also very painful for her💔 i love the idea of her going to higuchi about it one day💔

- (s4 spoilers) we don't have any solid details on what the monthly Hunting Dog surgeries entail but Tachihara definitely has to leave pm once a month to get that procedure done, and no one in PM knows what it is or why he leaves, but he always comes back really worn out and juts generally not feeling well because they don't give him much time to recover. his body aches and he's exhausted and irritable. Gin and Hirotsu take note of this, they never ask what it's from but always try to get him to take it easy for a few days💔

- (more s4 spoilers) also I love the idea of Tachihara having a hard time saying no to his Hunting Dog superiors, Techhou will be eating or drinking his strange things and just kindly offer Tachihara some if he sees him staring and Tachihara is like ah i can't say no ...!!!! so he tries it and always ends up with a tummyache poor thing

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borisbubbles · 1 year

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Eurovision 2023 PRESHOW - part 2: the irrelevants

Sometimes you come across countries that try their best and still somehow, fail to make it past the stage of mediocrity. These entries aren’t going to make a splash, they merely attend the contest where they’ll likely not make much of an impact. Nothing to be offended by. That doesn’t take away they’re still kind of shit though. 💔

33. SAN MARINO Piqued Jacks - “Like an animal” Semi 2, slot #12

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Another year of me not caring about San Marino. Hooray! 😐

Though let’s be honest that on this occasion I’m in the majority. 🙂 I don’t dislike PJ as much as most fans appear to do though. I think it’s because there are days (most days) I forget San Marino are in this year’s rotation?

But when I am forced to remember San Marino are in and THIS is their entry and... has there ever been an entry this far away from the concept of “a slay”? The goat noises at the ends, jeeeesus. There probably are more inane entries out there, but not in 2023. Everything about Piqued Jacks is painfully heterosexual ranging from their nicknames to the song and its lyrics.

Speaking of the lyrics, um, yeah let’s pick apart its many issues I guess? First and foremost the narrative is that of a random straight man chasing after a woman on the dancefloor (so: IN PUBLIC) because she looked at him funny and he is failing to control his impulses to grind all of his appendages against her bodice. YIKES. 😬

This image is then further enhanced by the..; um... colourful metaphors in which body parts are being assigned animalistic properties (SNAKE eyes, BITING tongue) and suddenly this flirty song about a hopeless normie desperately trying to get laid has taken a turn towards sinisterville. There are plenty of vibes you can go for here, but “accidentally preditorial” is not one of them. 😐

Still better than Salvaje though. 🙂

ODDS at Eurovision

No amount of divine or satantic intervention is going to prevent San Marino’s impending last place.

This is not a question of “Will they receive enough points to qualify?”. it’s a question of “Will they receive points from anyone?”

Qualifier tier: F Projected placement: 14th-16th (semi).

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32. NETHERLANDS Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper - “Burning Daylight” Semi 1, slot #14

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:snore:

To be honest, when I first heard Duncan Laurence would write a song for Eurovision and it would be sung by two indie randoms who barely knew each other, I instantly assumed I’d hate the Dutch entry this year. Yeah, Arcade was good but I am SO sick of it and Duncan at this point (in a similar vein to other people having had enough Måns and KEiiNO) . Mia/Dion meanwhile were giving off Isaiah/Evie vibes. ALLL the worrying signals were there!

So it is any surprise "Burning daylight” churned out to a few stilted, horrendous messy lives that have made it abundantly clear that Mia and Dion do NOT mesh together, at all? No, of course not.

That said, the song’s like........... fine, I guess? I don’t fucking understand why Burning Daylight had to be a duet or you know, this insipid. DE DIEPTE JUST HAPPENED, AND GOT IT ALL RIGHT.

I did get a small snort out of AVROTROS outright admitting that they hadn’t known in advance about the juries getting nixed in the semi, and if they had they probably would have picked something else. Is that admission more painful than the preparty performances at Madrid and Amsterdam? I’ll let you decided. Moral of the story if the selection offers up a choice of MEROL, you always fucking take the MEROL. Morons.

Odds at Eurovision - Netherlands

“GOODBYE OLD LIIIIIIIIIIIFE” -- Netherlands saying goodbye to the Success Era.

Like, seriously. Logically, I feel like good staging and Netherlands’ excellent draw should be enough to clinch a qual on paper. In reality: We’ve all seen the footage.

To be fair though, I was there when they flobbed in Amsterdam, and it seemed not as bad as some others (then again, ESCUnited’s Sean was standing next to me drunkedly SHRIEKING the chorus down my ear canals so i may have missed most of the essence). Alessandra was VERY bad, and Vesna weren’t too great either - too bad Vesna and Alessandra actually have competitive songs where the vocals matter less~

What is going to secure this NQ though is that the Dutch have already lost their fooken MINDS about what have been two supbar lives, and are going to drag Dion and Mia down in their negative spiral. I do feel that if the home country doesn’t support you, your press doesn’t support you and worse, if foreign media and commentators pick up on that and report it back to their audiences, you’re in for a miserable experience and a headfirst collision into a bottom of the scoreboard finish. There is a small window for Netherlands to qualify because, you know.. .Malta aren’t secure. Latvia aren’t secure. Switzerland aren’t secure. SERBIA aren’t secure, Czechia aren’t secure either. And since only five countries die (note that I am not mentioning the two obviously dead NQs) there is a chance for NL to slip through if they fix their most pressing issues.

There is sadly little fixing can do if you’re song’s unvotable.

Qualifier tier: D Projected placement: 10-15th (semi), 23rd-26th (Grand Final)

31. ALBANIA Albina Kelmendi & Family - “Duje” Semi 2, slot #14

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A family! isn’t it CUTE!!!

I’d argue that thanks to the awkward shuffling in every live of “Duje” and the strangely sinister narrative of the music video (are they GENUINELY implying that Albina is having the hots for her own brother?! lol?!), Albania’s song is the fucking antithesis of “cute”. 🙂 “Duje” is so strange man. If you were to just listen to the track without any other input you may find it pleasant enough, I guess. The Kelmendii are just... not very gifted at performing live (Albina excepted), and ESC IS a live performance contest, soz. They’re like D-mol, but less funny and only slightly less embarrassing.

So of course Albania became the object of an irony-fueled lovefest by the fans, because “lololol so inept bless” but i’ve decided I find that particular discouse patronizing, and the entry itself off-putting. 🙂

Idk, an entire family singing a song about LOVE CONQUERING ALL, while awkwardly touching each other and exchanging meaninful creates a cult-like undercurrent that I’d rather steer away from as much as possible.

Odds at Eurovision - Albania

Okay so semi 2 is a really fucking crapshoot in that there are 7 obvious qualifiers, and the others (not counting SM) have a shot at claiming the last 3 spots.

Even with that information in mind, I still feel like Albania are one of the three LEAST likely countries to qualify in that semi? (after, of course, Romania and Poland). As I said before, the Kelmendi’s unironically remind me of D-Mol,and their song is a strange off-putting janky mess that even the Albanians will be reluctant to vote for.

Albina’s only trump card is that she’s brought her family along, and this is a dicey USP when most of them aren’t particularly good at doing Eurovision things.

Also, Albania are missing their biggest allies which are Switzerland (semi 1), Montenegro (not in), and NoMac (not in). So yeah, it will be a huge uphill battle. BUT AT LEAST LOVE WILL CONQUER EVERYTHING (when Gustaph destroys the concept of homophobia and wins the semi)

If Albania do qualify, bottom 4 in the finale seems very clear, here?

Qualifier tier: D Projected placement: 9th-15th (Semi), 21st-26th (Grand Final)

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30. IRELAND Wild Youth - “We are one” Semi 1, slot #06

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A blistering 9th-to-last place for everyone’s favourite act to hate! Hooray!

I don’t know, I do think Wild Youth are strangely... overhated? Like, if you’re Ireland and you want bring a typical sound to the contest your country is known for, then why not go for a U2 B-side track? It seems really valid choice to me. how you can despise any act that DENIED Johnny Rotten’s bid for ESC is beyond me, tbh.

But yeah, “We are one” is really fucking insipid. Musically I don’t have anything negative to say about it though? The composition is fine, if unexciting.

Its message though is where I lost all interest - being INCLUSIVE and DIFFERENT and UNIQUE so that WE ARE ONE. It is meant to be inspirational and instead achieved the opposite effect - annoying clichémongering is not a way to go, ever in life, anywhere. 🙂

Now, I will say that I feel a bit sorry for Wild Youth because their Eurovision experience so far has been a big pile o’ misery. Like at EIC, Connor was DENIED ENTRY to the afterparty by the security guards because he didn’t have a wristband, eventhough he showed up in the SAME outfit he had performed in earleir that night.

When the cunts yelled “NUNCA AL FINAL” at them in Barcelona, they lowered the bar even more in terms of fanbase toxicity - and even this distinction was immediately taken away from Wild Youth when the same crowd chanted “RONELA” at Piqued Jacks (the most pathetic thing i’ve seen eurofans do, aside from maybe that Andromache shell tattoo)

so um yeah. Wild Youth don’t make it higher than NL or SM specifically based on musical merit - although they, unlike Mia and Dion can at least hold a tune.

They made it this far because I feel sorry for them. 😬

Odds at Eurovision - Ireland

Yeah this is NQ. I know, you know, Wild Youth know, let’s not rub it in. Notionally there are scenarios where other countries could fuck up and crash themselves out of the Grand Final, but if I’m honest if that were to happen, it'd probably benefits the other hopeless NQ more?

Besides, Ireland have already run their reputation into the ground through their HORRIBLE non-qualification streak; inept leadership and uninspired entries. At this point everyone expects them to be last place because that’s what we’ve been led to expect from them over the years. I don’t think WY necessarily place dead last though. I could see the parents that tune in liking it enough to cast a vote for it, granting it a random 12th place. Qualification is too big a feat to pull off here though. Qualifier tier: F Projected placement: 12th-15th (Semi)

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And that concludes the entries that were kinda shit, but not shit enough to actively dislike hooray! In the next update I’ll talk about three songs that leave me fucking COLD. Up next: the BORING entries.

THE RANKING:

Part 1: The BAD entries (Switzerland / Croatia / Israel / Greece)

#Eurovision 2023 #ESC 2023 #Eurovision Song Contest #Liverpool 2023 #Albania #Kelmendi Family #Albina Kelmendi #Duje #Ireland #Wild Youth #We Are One #Netherlands #Dion Cooper #Mia Nicolai #The Netherlands #Burning Daylight #San Marino #Piqued Jacks #Like an animal

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365-days-of-taylor-swift · 5 months

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November Day 14

Check out the masterpost to vote on more polls!

You can find the first two polls of this day here.

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emeralddoeadeer · 6 months

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20 questions for Fic Writers

Thanking you all for the tags, @possessingtheproperspirit @oyprongs @isahorcrux and @alittlebitofeverything23 💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

366,710

3. What fandoms do you write for?

HP, Jily.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Everlong Lucky Star Class of '78 this time I'll remember Something So Simple

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. Sometimes the response is brief and sometimes I get carried away (hello everlong commenters). It itches my brain to have emails unread or unresponded, I am that guy with a super organised inbox in real life as well as ao3 life.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably the days are bright and filled with pain 💔

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

There's happy and then there's happiest, I think Everlong and the extras in Times Like These because they went through so much to get there.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not hate, no... but negative comments and or discouragement, thankfully outweighed by positive interaction though.

9. Do you write smut. If so, what kind?

Not really. I've written a fair amount of build-up and fade-to-black, nothing explicit though.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge. I think it's really cool that people love something so much they want to share it with as wide an audience as possible.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, but I would if the planets aligned.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Jily (but Literati still has it's hook in)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

There have been ideas that I've let fade, but anything I want to finish I will. Stubbornness.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I really don't know. Maybe emotions, I want the reader to feel the work as they read it, whether that's prose, dialogue, or just vibes...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Confidence. Trusting that the silly little words I've strung together have an audience. It's a work in progress.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it fully depends on context.

19. First Fandom you wrote for?

And shared, Jily. (that sits in a dusty corner hiding OTH)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Everlong. In part because it was my first big undertaking and it really got me into writing, but mostly for the readers - the love the fic got and continues to get, the comments and support along the way, was incredible.

no pressure tags if you fancy it - @joyseuphoria @crimson-snitch @aidanchaser @arianatwycross @ginemrys

#was tagged #jily #writing #fanfic #20 questions

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warmaidensrevenge · 1 year

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Loss

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!plus size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

A/N: Today I feel like I need to cry really bad. But I don't like to. It's just a big mess and I look ugly. So I wanted to write something a bit sad. So here goes nothing. I was inspired by Slipknots song Snuff and Jimmy Eat World song Hear You Me. Thanks for reading. As always feedback is greatly appreciated. Kay love ya bye.

Warnings: +18 Mentions of death, arguing, drug dealing/use, alcohol use, language, slight body insecurities, oral, smut, hurt, angst, and not proof read and no word count.

One shot

Summary: Tragedy makes you do shit you shouldn't. But your best friend doesn't give up on you. Eddie Munson will do whatever it takes to get you through it.

😔💔

When you first met Eddie he was 14 years old. He had just moved in with his uncle after his mom passed. At first you didn't like him. He was so loud and jittery. Constantly talking. But what made you actually not like him is when he kissed you on a dare. His buddies in the 8th grade dared him to kiss the 7th grade chubby nerdy girl. You were outside your next class reading Where the Red Fern Grows. You had started to cry when the little boy died.

Out of nowhere this kid with a shaved head came and sat next to you.

" Hey what's the matter?" He asked, sounding a little sad.

" Oh. Umm. It's just the book." You mumbled, wiping away your tears.

He plucked the book from your hands and looked over the cover.

" This is about dogs right?"

" Yeah. Kinda."

He looked at you and handed back the book. " You know a pretty girl like you shouldn't be crying. People will think you're a crybaby."

You looked at him to say something but he quickly kissed you.

When he pulled away you were so pissed. You balled up your fist and decked him.

He immediately grabbed his jaw and his eyes filled with tears.

" I-I.. I'm sorry." His voice broke.

You could tell he really was trying not to cry. You felt just a little bad. Maybe he didn't deserve to be nearly knocked out. But then again. This weirdo just kissed you.

You stood up and pointed your finger in his face.

" DON'T YOU EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN! YOU CANT JUST GO AROUND KISSING PEOPLE!"

" I-I know s-sorry." He stuttered.

" Next time you do something that stupid. Ask permission!"

You stormed off to the girls bathroom and cried.

Ever since then you could not get rid of Eddie Munson. To him you were his best friend. To you he was merely an acquaintance. The rest of the 7th grade Eddie Munson was around. When he went to highschool he would get dropped off in front of your house just to walk you to and from school.

After school he would stay at yours until his uncle could pick him up. Which annoyed you like crazy. Sure Eddie was funny. But you could not stand him worth a damn.

But your parents did. You didn't know of they actually liked the dork. Or if they felt sorry for him being underprivileged. Either way they always liked having him around. Especially your dad.

You loved your dad more than anything in the world. It was because of him you gave Eddie a chance to be an actual friend. Your dad always gave you so much shit for being rude to Eddie. He would even make fun of you two. Saying one day you guys would get married and have tons of babies. Which you absolutely hated the thought of.

Once you got to highschool you and Eddie bonded more than you cared for. With the same types of problems you guys grew close. When he got older he calmed down. Not by much, but enough for you to actually be able to be in his presence longer than five minutes.

He put all that energy into his campaigns, and he started playing the guitar. Which was nice sometimes. He would go on tangents about how epic his storyline was for every campaign. He would get so theatrical that it was quite funny.

By the time you were a junior, Eddie was a senior. The bullying brought you guys even closer than before. He was bullied for being a "Freak". Long hair and rock music was not your peers norm. But for Eddie and you. It was. He was cool, and very nice. But others refused to see that.

They also refused to see you that way too. They saw nothing more than an ugly fat geek. Yes you were larger than your classmates and you didn't put on pounds of makeup. You liked to read and got straight A's. But you were not ugly. At least that's what Eddie would say.

Did you believe him? Well no.

But he did a lot to keep your mind from putting you down. He really did become a great friend. He was always there. Flirting away. Calling you beautiful all the time. Always play fighting with you, or teased you for being so darn cute. He did things that, from the outside looking in were suspicious. But to you and him you were just really good friends.

You never saw him like that. And to be honest you didn't want to. Sure he was devilishly handsome, and one of the nicest guys. But you just didn't see him that way.

He really was just a friend. Well until he wanted more.

...

He had been a forest firefighter for a majority of his life. And you could not have been prouder. He was the best dad in the whole world.

You were 18 when the unthinkable happened. You were a senior now and Eddie was doing his senior year over again. One afternoon your dad had gotten an emergency call and had to go.

See you knew your dad's job was dangerous. He literally fought fires with fire. He was well liked and a hero to everyone in Hawkins. But to you he was better than Superman.

Every time he went to work you made his crew promise to bring him back. And they did. Every time. Well until they didn't.

The fire was burning through the forest way too fast and with the winds blowing at 50 mph, it just got worse.

Your mom and you were escorted to the highschool gymnasium. All the thirteenth families of your dad's crew were there. People were freaking out and you weren't stupid. You knew something awful happened.

The captain of the fire department came and gave you the worst news you've ever heard.

Your father and his entire crew's bodies were found. They had gotten trapped and couldn't make it out. Your mother fell to the ground and wept.

You didn't believe it. It wasn't true. The guys promised to bring him back. You stood there staring at the door. Waiting for your dad to run in and say it was just a terrible joke. But he never came.

You were angry, and hurt. That you didn't know what to do. You knew your mom needed you then. But you needed something else or someone else. You needed your best friend. This shit you had planned on the drive to his trailer was stupid to say the least. But you need just a moment to get out of your current reality.

...

Eddie had been in love with you from the moment his lips touched yours. Sure it ended with a sock in the jaw. But he was yours then, and still yours now. Did you know that? Hell no. Did Eddie want to tell you? Absolutely not. You were his most trusted and bestest friend. He swore he would never do anything to jeopardize the friendship he tried so hard to build. He worked hard to get your parents to love him and he helped you even when you didn't ask for it. Which was hardly ever. You were very stubborn. But incredibly sweet. Though at first you resist Eddie's friendship. He eventually got you to see him for who he really was. That he wasn't a freak or scary or any of those awful things anyone said about him. However, he liked you and he had to keep you in his life. Even if it was just as a friend.

So he shoved his fondness for you into the deepest part of his heart. But then when you got to highschool you really proportioned out. Yes you were still thicker than most and he would have loved you either way. But you were growing up to be the most beautiful girl he had the pleasure of viewing.

Eddie's affection for you only grew. He always had to compliment you and touch you. Of course only if you would let him. He flirted a lot. He couldn't help it. The girl of his dreams was right in front of him all the time. But as a man of his word. He wouldn't ruin this beautiful friendship with you.

That was until all hell broke loose.

He was home that night. His uncle was at the plant as usual pulling a double. Eddie had just finished writing a new campaign when you came.

Eddie let you in, surprised that you came without calling. Normal when you came over you would call before. Giving him a warning to be decent. But he took it as 'Shit the love of my life is coming and I need to clean'.

When you came in you were off. He could always tell. But this time was different. This time you said stuff he wasn't expecting.

" Eddie. I need you to do me a favor."

" Uhhh okay?" He said taking a seat on the couch.

His eyes followed you back and forth as you paced his living room.

" ok but look. This is going to be...a lot...but I need you."

" What's going on princess?"

You stopped and looked at him letting out a long sigh. " Umm maybe I should just show you."

"Y/n?"

Eddie watched as you went towards his room. He was so confused. Normally you could talk to him. But you were being super cryptic and he was kinda scared.

He got up after a few seconds and followed you. He saw your shoes and socks in the hallway. As he got closer he kept finding more of what you were wearing. Picking them up along the way. When he turned the corner to his room he saw you in his bed.

The way you held his blanket up to your chest he just knew you were completely naked. Seeing your underwear and bra thrown on his dress also confirmed it.

He didn't know what to say. He would be lying if he said this wasn't a dream come true. But seriously what the hell?

" ummm princess. Are you naked?"

" Okay yes...I know this is a lot to ask but I really need you to have sex with me."

He was at a loss for words. Did you really just say that? Were you really in his bed? Naked?!

"I-I"

" Eddie. Please."

" Y/n? What's going on? We...we can't."

" Why?"

"I..."

" You're gonna tell me with all the flirting and all times you said that if I were your girl that you would take care of me. You're gonna say that and not want to take me when I offer?"

" Princess this is...this-"

" A lot to ask. I know. But I need you right now. I need you this way."

He always promised to be there for you. Whatever you need he would always be ready to help. Though he knew something was wrong, he had wanted this for so long.

Eddie closed his door and started to undress. He slid in next to you. Questions eating at him.

" Are you sure?"

"Yes Munson. I want this."

" But it's your first time."

You pulled at his shoulders to face you.

" yeah and I want it to be with you. I trust you. I know you won't hurt me."

You looked at him with such adoration. You were right. He would never hurt you. You were his everything.

His best friend part of him kept telling him not to. To talk about what was going on in your head. But his teenage hormones were yelling at him otherwise. See he was a virgin too. He had never seen a boob in real life. Sure he had naughty well used magazines under his bed, along with a couple of porn films he swiped a long time ago. So he knew where things went and how to be safe about it. But he wasn't about to admit it was his first time too.

He hesitated for a second before leaning in and kissing your cheek.

" Is this okay?" He asked

" You can do more. I want you to do more."

Your words made his body shiver. He kissed down your neck as you laid down. His hands were firmly pressed against either side of you. Your hands were clutching the blanket.

As he kissed across your chest a small whimper rang in his ears. He looked up at you worried.

" Touch me Eddie. I want you to touch me."

His eyes nearly popped out of his head when you pushed the blanket down. Revealing your ample breast. They looked so soft and were so big his mouth watered at the sight. One of his hands started to massage your breast.

He just kept looking at you in utter amazement. Your chest covered in stretch marks. Your breasts were spilling out of his hands. God you were more beautiful than he originally thought.

" Can I ... suck on them?"

"umm... y-yeah...s-sure."

He licked his lips before kissing one of your nipples gently. He then opened his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. Suckling with such tenderness. He lightly tugged at the raised nub with his teeth before sucking again. You moaned ever so softly that it gave him goosebumps.

Eddie knew even with his lack of experience, that it takes girls a little bit to get ready. So he was gonna make sure that your body was ready for him. Because his most definitely was. He had waited a long time for this. It's not like he didn't get offers. Because even though people saw him as a freak. Something about him being in a band had girls waiting for him after sets. But he never did anything with anyone. That was because he was saving himself for you. And though he knew you weren't in that state for him, he still wanted you to be his first and last everything.

He was still massaging and kissing and sucking on you when you lifted his head.

" Eddie. Now. I'm ready now."

Shit this was really going to happen. He was so nervous his hands started to shake when he was putting on the condom.

Finally it was on and he was now between your legs. He had to ask one more time.

" Y/n. Are you-"

" Eddie if you ask me again I swear I will leave."

Not wanting that he nodded.

" It might hurt."

After all this time you pulled him down for a deep kiss. He honestly hadn't believed that he didn't even kiss you. But God how badly he needed it. How badly he needed you.

Then it happened. You helped guide him to where you wanted and he went slow. He shut his eyes at this feeling he really couldn't describe. You were so warm and wet. And fuck so damn tight. He could feel himself already there. But he wasn't even in all the way. So he had to stop just to regain control.

Your body shook as his tip went in. It did hurt. But not in a bad way. His stretch was incredible. And when he stopped you wanted more.

" Eddie. God. More...please."

Eddie said a soft fuck as he continued to pushing through. There was a spot where he had to push a little hard making you gasp.

He was scared as hell. He looked up to see you covering your mouth. He stopped again to let you give him the okay.

Once he felt your body relax you nodded. He kept going until he felt a soft spot that made you moan so loud he knew he was hitting that spot.

The beautiful pain that caused made tears fall from the corners of your eyes. This wasn't at all what you expected. Eddie was huge. You hadn't seen or felt a penis before. But you knew that he was big. You weren't sure how it was gonna work but he was doing an excellent job keeping your thoughts at bay.

You need this. This comfort. Sure it was a dumb idea to sleep with your best friend. But at this moment, nothing mattered. It was just you and Eddie.

This felt like it was supposed to happen.

You felt this fire grow deep within you. With every slow thrust of his hips made something happen. And when you kissed him it felt... different.

You were clenching him so tight he couldn't hold back anymore. He felt your body tense again and he knew you were cumming. Your back arched and his hunched as he finally let go.

He slowly pulled out and watched you. He laid down trying to catch his breath. You pulled the blanket back over you to hide yourself and he felt bad.

After what you guys did you were still hiding from him. It was awkward for a few minutes. He got up to grab a towel for you. He took off the condom and discarded it.

When he went back to the room you were getting dressed. He pulled on a pair of grey sweatpants and sat next to you.

You sat there thinking about everything. You just had sex with your best friend. You could swear you would feel different. You thought you would feel bad for basically forcing him to do it. But you didn't. It didn't feel wrong. It actually felt right. It felt...good.

Then your thoughts went dark.

" Princess? Are you okay?"

You could feel Eddie watching you. You wanted to look at him, but now you were ashamed. Not about what just happened, but why it happened.

" N-no."

Now Eddie could think clearly. Did he do something wrong? It sure felt right to him. Should he have just said no? Was this a mistake? No. It felt too good to be.

He looked at you and tears were rolling down your face. He wrapped an arm around your waist and you just turned and buried your face in his chest.

You cried so hard that all he could do was hold you. You had never cried like this before. Your whole body trembled. Your crying made him cry too.

"W-what happened y/n?"

...

Eddie stood next to you two weeks later holding your hand while they buried your father. You were gone. You weren't you anymore. The smile Eddie had loved so much was gone. You were quiet and you cried all the time.

You had stayed with him every night since. He held you as you cried yourself to sleep. You moved like a ghost. He tried to distract you with whatever he could. But nothing was working.

You were a shell of who you used to be. Burying your father was the worst day of your life. You should have been with your mom those two weeks. But for some reason you blamed her for it.

Instead you stayed with Eddie and his uncle. You finally went back to school after the funeral. You roamed the halls like a zombie. Constantly running off to the bathroom to cry. Eddie would have to be the one to find you and calm you down enough to get back to class. He really was your saving grace.

Three months after the funeral you and Eddie started hooking up on the reg. You constantly found yourself either in the back of his van riding him or out in the woods where he sold drugs.

This day in particular you were laying down with your ass on the edge of the table. Eddie was on his knees between your legs going to town.

He'd been at this for the better part of the hour. You guys totally missed lunch and part of class. But it didn't matter. He was a god with his tongue. His touch made you forget about everything. He was working on your fourth orgasm when you sat up on your elbows.

" Munson we're gonna get detention if we don't go back."

He hummed into you, licking and sucking on your clit.

" Haven't even put my fingers in yet." He mumbled

You laid back down and moaned when he slid his long thick fingers into you.

Eddie couldn't get enough of your pussy. The damn thing was intoxicating. To be fair everything about you was. He just loved when you came on his tongue. He could live off your sweet nectar.

When you came for the final time he licked and swallowed every last drop. You sat up and pulled his hand to suck off your juice. Making his cock ache. He wanted to feel your walls hugged him. He wanted to bury his throbbing cock deep into your perfect pussy but you were right. You guys had to go back.

Once you put on your panties you hopped off the table and pulled down your dress. Both of you smirk and walk back.

" Coming tonight?" Eddie asked, shoulder bumping you.

" uh huh."

" Cool."

Eddie didn't know what was going on with you two. But he loved you so he was happy with whatever you gave him. He wanted you to be his girl. But this secret hooking up was making it clear that it was what you wanted for now. He wasn't complaining. He liked being with you like this and other ways too.

All he wished was that he knew what was going on in your head. You didn't talk about your father. Shit you barely talked at all. Which he missed like crazy. He missed the conversations and the laughs. He was determined to get you back by giving you whatever you needed.

It was almost unbelievable when you asked him to get high that night. You had never once wanted to smoke with him. Or drink for that matter. But when you came over you had asked.

When he came back you were naked. He has seen you naked countless times by now. But holy fuck were you so beautiful. Every curve, every stretch mark, all your perfect imperfections. He loved them all.

Of course he wasn't going to say no. He'd been wanting to see what you were like inebriated.

You sat on his couch while he went to his room to get his metal lunch box. He pulled out a perfectly rolled joint and smirked.

You were laying down with a small throw just covering your mid section.

" God princess."

You lifted your arms for him to come to you. He stripped down to his boxers and laid on top of you. His hands were on either side of your face with the joint and lighter in one hand.

" I thought you wanted to smoke."

" I do....But I want you inside me while we do."

" hmm never done this before." He grinned.

You pushed his hair back behind his ears and lifted a bit to kiss his neck. He threw his head back and groaned. You nipped at his neck and lifted your hips to his.

"Fuu.." he moaned when you sucked a small bruise on his shoulder.

He got to his knees and lit the joint taking a long puff. You went for his boxers freeing his cock. He leaned back down and blew the smoke into your mouth.

" Hold it." He whispered

He kissed your cheek down to your neck. You slowly let out the smoke and coughed slightly. He removed his mouth from your chest and took another hit. His lips met yours and he kissed you while blowing the smoke.

He guided himself into you. Sucking a large dark hickey on your chest. Doing this without protection was the new normal for him. The day after you got on birth control you threw away all his condoms.

He moved the blanket barrier because he wasn't close enough.

He did so. Taking one last puff of the joint before putting it out. He blew into your mouth then started to hit that sweet spot just how you liked it. He had you cumming in just a few minutes. He came too. Filling you up with his love. Cumming in you was the best thing in the world to him he secretly wished you would get pregnant so you would always be with him.

" Harder." You moaned.

Once he was done he sat back trying to catch his breath. The weed finally kicked in and you started to giggle. His heart was full at hearing that. It had been so long since you laughed.

" Fuck Munson." You said breathlessly.

" Y-yeah."

He got up and went to get a wash cloth and cleaned you up. You pulled on your panties and shirt. After you laid him his arms enjoying the high. You guys talked and laughed. Reliving all the fond memories you two had together.

"Do you remember when you and your uncle came over for Christmas for the first time?"

Eddie smiled. " Yeah."

He remembered everything about that day. He was almost 16 and it was his very first white Christmas. You and him were in your room. He was showing you his new Megadeth album while you finished knitting his beanie.

He was so happy that day. You had finally started warming up to him and hung out with him. You guys listened to the music and just talked about what to expect for your freshman year.

You had got up to open a window because all the cooking was making the house super hot. When you did you squealed.

" It's snowing."

Eddie jumped up and went to look too. He had honestly never seen snow. He grabbed your hand and you guys ran to the front door and put on your jackets.

It was really cold that night but Eddie didn't care. He wanted to build a snowman man. Out of nowhere you started throwing snow balls at him. He didn't want to hurt you so he just dodged them. His hands were freezing and you noticed. You went inside and grabbed his presents and two mugs of hot cocoa.

He put on his beanie and mittens and sat with you on the porch watching the snow fall. You leaned your head on his shoulder and he smiled. He had considered this to be your guy's first date.

" Remember we got so sick the next day."

Eddie laughed. " God yeah. That was so bad. I remember your dad made us his firehouse chili. It was so spicy I swear my mouth was on fire. But it did make me feel better. The snot just flowed out of me."

" Y-Yeah." Your voice broke.

Shit he didn't mean to bring up your dad.

" I'm sorry princess. I-"

" It's okay. Don't worry about it. It...it was a really great day."

He held you tighter. He wanted so badly to ask you to be his girl. But he didn't know if you were ready yet. All this time he was falling deeper in love with you. Sex was so damn good, he couldn't imagine it getting any better. You were an absolute goddess to him. He worshipped your body every chance he got. He thought that maybe you loved him too. You had to right? You wouldn't be doing this just to get your rocks off. But then again you were distant when it wasn't just you two.

Many weeks went by and you were changing even more. You had started drinking and skipping school like crazy. You stop staying with him, finally going back home. But you would eventually show up every other day. Wanting him to fuck you. Of course he did. He always wanted to give you what you needed. But you didn't seem to realize what you were doing to him. You were hurting him.

It was like you only wanted him when you were sad. And though Eddie hated you being sad he just wanted to help.

...

You were growing distant from everyone. It's not like you wanted to. But you did. Being with Eddie made you feel ok for a little while. But you wanted to stop sleeping with him. Because you were getting way too attached. It felt like every time you had sex you were getting used to the idea of him always being around.

You knew that wasn't the case. Everyone dies. Your dad made that clear to you. Sure you knew it was going to eventually happen but the reality of it was too much. You didn't want to lose Eddie too. He became too important too fast. And your feelings for him grew to the point where you loved him. Sure you "loved" him before. But not like this. He was quickly taking over your heart. And that was something you did not want.

Eddie has been an important person in your life. He was your best friend. But things went too far and you noticed that Eddie was getting attached too. And you needed it to stop.

So one night you confessed how you felt. You were always honest with him. And though you didn't want to hurt him. You actually wanted to be with him. But the thought of losing him was too much to bear.

Eddie was sitting on his bed listening to you say that you couldn't do this anymore. He was right. You weren't ready for a serious thing. It broke his heart but he could understand that. Not wanting to lose you too he agreed to stop with the sexual stuff.

However, he hadn't expected for you to pull away from him entirely. The only time he had seen you was at school. You withdrew from Hellfire and all the extra curricular activities. For weeks you were just not around.

He missed you like crazy. He tried to talk to you but you constantly scurried away when he got close. Why were you doing this to him? Weren't you guys still friends?

All his thoughts went back to sleeping with you. He knew it shouldn't have happened. Well it should have but not like that. He knew something was there. You had feelings for him too. How could you not? One night when you had fallen asleep in his arms you moaned an I love you.

He loved you so very much. And that's all he wanted to do. But you kept up the distance and it hurt.

One Saturday Eddie went to a party to deal some drugs. He had planned on going to your house after to try and talk but you were at this party. You had clearly been drinking. You didn't see him but he saw you. Some guy was kissing on your neck while you were drinking a beer.

Words couldn't describe the pain Eddie felt in his heart. Is this what you were doing these past few weeks? Had you moved on? He thought you said you weren't ready. Why the fuck would you be letting some guy be on you like that, when you wanted him?

He was so angry that he was ready to beat the shit out of the guy. But that's when he saw who it was. Billy Hargrove. His dad was one of the crew members with your dad.

Eddie put two and two together. You attached yourself to the only person who knew how you felt. He took off cursing the world for not being the one you needed.

He went home balling his eyes out for you. For all the pain you felt that he couldn't help you with. He cried for himself. How much it hurt him to see you with someone else.

...

It was stupid. Letting Billy touch you. You were already four beers, three shots of tequila in when he started to hit on you.

You really weren't paying too much attention to him, until he started getting closer. Soon you were leaning up against a wall with him kissing on your neck. Then he started touching you everywhere.

" Let's go find a room" he mumbled into your neck.

" Umm y-yeah. Why don't...don't you find an empty one. And-and I'll get us more drinks."

He nodded and left. You stumbled to the kitchen looking for the phone. The numbers were blurry and the room started to spin a little. It took you two times to punch in the right number.

"Hello?"

" M-munson"

" Y/n?"

" H-hey. I'm at erm... a party. And I don't...feel good."

" I'll be right there."

You didn't even bother to hang up the receiver. You made it outside and sat down. The spinning got worse causing you to throw up. After you just laid on the ground and fell asleep.

Eddie sped over to find you passed out on the grass.

" Fuck!"

He ran to you holding you in his lap. You reeked of booze and vomit.

" Princess? C'mon. Wake up."

You groaned slightly. " Ed-Eddie?"

" Yeah baby. I'm here. C'mon. Let's go home."

Once he got to his trailer, he helped you into the showered. He got in too washing you up. He had pulled out a pair of pajamas you left there and helped you get dressed. He brushed your hair and braided it before you guys laid down.

He watched you all night. Making sure you were okay. You had started talking in your sleep. Which normally you just moaned a little.

" Eddie please don't go."

He hugged you tighter. " I'm not going anywhere."

"I...love you."

He knew it was just sleep talking but he waited so long to hear those words come from you again. He kissed your forehead.

" I love you y/n."

...

Sometime in the very early morning he fell asleep. But when he woke up you were gone. He tried calling you. He even went to your house. But no one was there.

It wasn't until Monday when he saw you at school. He tried to talk to you all morning but for some reason you kept avoiding him. Even in the classes you had together you didn't even look at him. You were breaking his heart.

During lunch he couldn't take it anymore. He needed this conversation to happen.

He looked everywhere for you to no avail. That was until he found you in the parking lot. You were in Billy's car doing something. As he got closer he saw exactly what you were doing.

You had a rolled up dollar bill to your nose and were sniffing some white powder. Eddie freaked the fuck out. He pulled open the door.

"Y/N WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!"

"Mun-"

He pulled you out by your arm, dragging you towards his van.

" YOU'RE HURTING ME!" You cried out.

Out of the blue he felt a pair of hands on him.

Billy pulled you away and got in his face.

" What the hell's your problem man?! Don't you see she doesn't want to go with you?!"

"FUCK YOU HARGROVE! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING GIVING HER THAT SHIT?!" Eddie shoved him and went back to grab your hand.

Before he could Billy tackled him. They were rolling around throwing blow after blow.

You were yelling for them to stop. A few kids came and surrounded you guys. You tried to grab Billy off but he pushed you away.

When Eddie saw you fall he got the upper hand and was now on top of Billy. Punch after punch. Eddie was going off.

Finally teachers came and ripped the two apart.

Everyone was suspended. Billy was a bloody mess and Eddie had a busted lip and a bloody nose. When you were all sent home you had a choice to make. Go with Eddie or go with Billy.

You made the stupidest choice. You could see the hurt in Eddie's eyes when you got into Billy's car.

...

Eddie was beyond pissed. How could you choose Billy over him? You said you loved him. What the fuck was wrong with you?!

When he got home his uncle was getting ready to leave. They had gotten into an argument about his suspension.

Eddie didn't say why he got into a fight. Just that Billy threw the first punch. When his uncle left Eddie went to the restroom to see the damage.

His knuckles were all bruised and sore. His nose had some dried blood. But other than that he was fine. Physically that is. Emotionally he was a wreck.

He cleaned himself up and changed his clothes. He lit a cigarette and went outside.

A familiar car approached. But he couldn't look at you. When you got off you stood a few feet in front of him.

" Eddie? Are you okay?" Your soft voice only served to hurt him more.

" What the hell are you doing here?" He said taking a drag of his cigarette.

" I came to see if you were okay."

"Why?"

" What do you mean why?"

" Y/n don't act like you care about me."

" What?! I do care about you."

"No you don't! You only care about yourself."

"Eddie-"

" No y/n. You have to stop this. Whatever you're doing."

" I'm not doing anything-"

" YES YOU ARE! Don't you see how you're acting and what you're doing is affecting me?'

Of course you did. That's why you were keeping your distance. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt your best friend.

" Eddie I'm sorry. I-"

" Don't be. Just fucking go."

You didn't know what to say. You loved him. But all you kept doing was hurting him.

"Do you really want me to go? Because I don't want to...We need to talk about this."

He took another puff. Now he had a choice to make. Hurt more or let you go. Letting go though wasn't an option for him.

He sighed. "Y/n look. Maybe the way things happened for us was not okay. But I'm glad it did. I know that what we were doing wasn't wrong...I've wanted you for so long that everything we did felt like it was supposed to happen. Looking back when we first met it's crazy to think about. I never thought that every day since we would be building a bond that was so strong. A bond that makes me want you forever. Y/n you are my best friend. And - and I know you're going through a lot right now. But I can be here for you. You don't need to get wasted or do drugs to get past this. What you need is to talk to me. Be with me. Be my best friend again. I can help you. You know I lost my mom too. You don't need Billy or anyone else. I love you y/n. And I need you to see that I'm not going anywhere."

This was exactly what you didn't want to happen. This is the reason you wanted to stay away from him. You needed him. But you didn't want to need anyone. You wanted to just disappear.

There was shit going on that no one knew. And with Billy knowing how it felt to lose a parent that way, he got it. Eddie lost his mom too. But that was years ago and she died from an illness. You thought he wouldn't understand.

But he did. He knew what it was like to hurt that way. He knew what it was like trying to drown out your sorrows with alcohol and drugs. Shit you were the one to get him to stop doing it so much. But things were changing now.

" Eddie as much as I would like to say that I love you too. I can't. Everything is so messed up that we can't go back. We can't just start over."

" I don't want to start over. I want to fix whatever is wrong."

" Eddie... we're moving."

The cigarette butt burned his fingers and he tossed it. He looked at you and was confused.

" W-what?"

You wiped away a tear. " My mom can't afford the house now. So we are moving to Arizona with my grandparents."

"W-what?!"

His world started falling apart. No this can't be happening.

" That's why I tried to stay away. That's why I needed too. That and I don't want to hurt you anymore...we can't do this... I'm still grieving for my dad. I keep making the wrong choices. And I need to get myself back. I can't love you. I don't want to."

Eddie's eyes started to swell with tears. He stood up getting closer to you.

" You love me though... You love me? That's why you keep pushing me away?"

" Eddie. I can't. I'm leaving."

He got closer. " No. Just admit it. You love me. That's why you chose to be with me. Have me be your first? Did you know that you were mine too?"

" Eddie I-"

" No princess. Don't deny it now." He was so close now. His body was pressed up against yours.

" You love me. You want to be with-"

You took a step back. "I don't want to lose you too."

" What?" He said taking a step back as well.

He could hear your shuddered breathing. " Eddie everyone leaves or dies. It's just best if I leave. And you move on."

" Nope."

Eddie pulled you into his arms. " I'm not leaving. I'm not dying anytime soon. And you are not leaving me without telling me the truth."

You hung your head shaking it.

He cupped your face with one hand making you look at him.

" Tell me you don't love me." He kissed your cheek. "Tell me the thought of being without me doesn't keep you up at night...Tell me that you don't always want to be in my bed. That you don't dream about me like how I dream about you... Tell me that when you look at me you don't see a future with us having kids and married. Because I do. I see all that with you...Tell me you don't love it when I make love to you...tell me you don't and I'll let you go."

Fuck why did he have to say that. Of course you felt all that and more. But you couldn't. You shouldn't.

" Kiss me...Kiss m-"

Eddie pulled you closer and kissed you with everything he had. Another stupid decision. But God it felt so good when you're with him. He was your everything. Your love. Your best friend.

You guys ended up in his room. You were on top of him slowly rocking your hips back and forth. Your mouths attached to one another's. Eddie was right about everything. You loved him with every fiber of your being.

After you laid in his arms. You wanted to confess your feelings. But this was the end. It had to be.

...

You spent every night with Eddie until you were about to leave Hawkins. Eddie tried to get you to stay. He even had his uncle agree to have you live with them. But you refused.

Eddie was standing outside of your house. You guys had just finished packing up the moving van. You said your goodbyes last night. But he couldn't let you leave without hearing you say it.

" Y/n. Please. Just tell me."

" What good would it do if I said it?"

" Then I'll know that you do. And I can go on and think none of this was a mistake."

You sighed. " No words can describe all the feelings I have for you. You have shown me what love really is. That it goes beyond sex. It's the way you talk to me, the way you hold me, the way you touch me. It's how you always show up when I need you... I didn't fall in love with you because I wanted to. I fell in love with you because everything felt right. And for the first time in my life I didn't feel alone. I fell in love with you for all the reasons you showed me every single day... Eddie...until the stars stop twinkling, until the sun no longer burns, until the world stops turning. I will always love you. I swear I will... forever."

Eddie's heart broke all over again. He knew it. And now you were leaving him.

He gave you one last kiss before he watched you leave.

Maybe in another life or at another time. You guys could have been together. He stood there with eyes full of tears knowing you took a piece of him with you.

He knew you would never come back. And though he told himself that one day he would be okay. You would always have his heart.

...

@salenorona23

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